#the opening scene of Infinity War is pretty damn good

[woulddieforloki]

I can't believe infinity war didn't make it onto the poll along with endgame

apparently most people seem to like Infinity War more than Endgame and consider Endgame the bigger crime against the MCU and I'm so ??? Infinity War's grown on me, I will admit, but it's not nearly as entertaining as Endgame imo it just drags on so long that by the time the big battle happens I barely remembered that they started the movie by killing off Loki to pRoVe tO tHe AuDiEnCe ThAt ThAnOs iS a VeRy BaD dUdE (I assume was the point at least; proving that the movie does have high stakes and that Thanos is someone to be wary of) but that was like two whole hours before the final fight began and ugh Marvel's worst crime is making Infinity War so goddamn long

[simplee-dreaming]

The Runner

(Part 2 here)

A/N: Okay so I've been writing this for a while and only just finished it but I'd like to know whether you guys would like me to turn this into a series? This part works well as a stand-alone but can easily turn into a series if you would like!

Word count: 3194

Summary: The reader works as a runner on the set of Infinity War and developes a bond with Chris Evans.

(SPOILER WARNING: There is one spoiler for Infinity War in this fic, but I'm sure many of you have seen it anyway)

--------------------------------------------------

“Black coffee for Mr Evans please! Black coffee!” A man called over the radio. Your ears pricked up and you ran into the kitchen to make a black coffee. You came charging back out and headed straight for Chris Evans’ dressing room, but his assistant jumped in your path.

“I’ll take that to him.” He said, snatching it out of your hand.

This was your first time working as a runner and you were starting to get the hang of the job. You had only been working there for three weeks and you had about 8 months to go. You were highly excited to work for Marvel, being a fan yourself, but you hadn’t met any of the cast or even the directors. You had caught small glimpses of them but never had any interactions. You had a lot of responsibilities as a runner - making tea and coffee, handling the paperwork, assisting anyone who needed it - and yet you were just chopped liver to everyone on set.

-------------------------------

Another month had passed and you had grown closer to the other runners, the kitchen staff, the cleaners and even the third assistant directors. You were far more comfortable in your job and you even had the opportunity to stand with the third assistant director and watch them film Loki’s death scene...though not your favourite thing to witness.

You still hadn’t interacted with any of the cast but you were used to that by now. It was mainly running orders for everyone and handling the secretary-type roles, which you didn’t mind doing anyway.

Call after call came over the radio with people demanding all sorts of coffees and teas and hot chocolates and cold drinks. Enough to keep you on your feet during the long days. There was a break in demands when they were setting up ready to shoot another scene so you stood with your work friends for a chat before the room had to fall silent. One of the runners let out a small gasp and directed you with their eyes. You turned around to see Chris Evans walking behind you, heading onto set. He turned to you all and gave a little nod and a smile before carrying on. Your heart fluttered. Chris Evans just acknowledged your existence. A stream of small shrieks and giggles came from your group as everyone tried to compose themselves before filming commenced. That was your day made.

------------------------------------

“Black coffee for Mr Evans please! Black coffee!” A man called over the radio. Same guy every day, always his assistant. You quickly marched into the kitchen to get his coffee ready before anyone else did. Strong black coffee with one sachet of sugar. You grabbed the cup, marked it with Chris’ name and strolled over to his dressing room. Once again your luck had vanished when his assistant jumped in front of you and grabbed the cup.

“The order is absolutely correct, yes?” His assistant asked, like he did every time you brought the coffee.

“She makes it the majority of the time, I’m sure she has the order right by now.” Said a voice from behind you. You turned around to find Chris Evans smiling at you. You gave a shaky smile back.

“You know, you make my coffee all the damn time and I don’t even know your name.” He said. You gave a shy giggle. There was a pause.

“So...what is your name?” He asked.

“Oh, um, sorry, yeah, it’s Y/N”, you responded.

“Y/N. Very pretty name. Well, thank you Y/N for the constant coffee. I’ll make sure you deliver them straight to me next time.” He winked at you and you giggled again. His assistant cleared his throat.

“Mr Evans you’re needed in makeup now.”

“Yes thank you Darren. And how many times do I have to tell you to call me Chris?” He huffed. He gave you one last smile and walked off. You were in heaven.

-----------------------------------

A week had passed and you hadn’t interacted with Chris since. Every time there was a call for his coffee, you were busy doing other jobs. You had sorted out multiple paperwork, made drinks for crew members and you were currently assisting the cleaners in cleaning up a very messy set after they had stopped shooting a scene. You didn’t mind because the cleaners were all lovely people, plus it gave you a bit of a break before running all over the place. You were kneeling on the ground sweeping up the smaller bits with a dustpan and brush until a pair of feet suddenly appeared in your eyeline.

“Missed a spot” came a voice from above you. You looked up to find Chris Evans towering above you. He winked.

“You’re everywhere at the moment. I’m sure this isn’t in your job description.” He said.

“It’s not, but the more hands on deck, the quicker this gets cleaned.” You shrugged. “Plus, I don’t mind, all of these people are lovely to work with.”

Chris smiled at you and bent down to help.

“You’re an A-List celebrity, you shouldn’t be cleaning up this mess.” You said.

“You’re right. I’m far too big of a diva to clean.” He replied. He flicked a tiny stone at you and you gasped.

“Now is that any way to treat your staff?” You teased, throwing a bit of soil on him. He laughed and you continued to throw bits of rubbish at each other until Darren appeared.

“Oi! You there! What do you think you’re playing at?!” He asked you.

“Oh, I’m sorry we were just..”

“Chill Darren, I was helping her clean up and I started the rubbish fight.” Chris interrupted.

“Well, you need to be resting. You have a big scene coming up.” Darren huffed.

“It’s fine, I was resting then I got bored and now I’m having fun.” Chris responded.

“Fun? With a runner? I highly doubt that. You best head to makeup and get yourself cleaned up.” Darren said to Chris. He then shot you a glare and marched off.

“Sorry about him, he’s very pompous.” Chris apologised.

“It’s fine. I’m used to it.” You said. Even though you were used to people degrading you for being a runner, it still hurt when they did.

“Well you shouldn’t be.” Chris said. He reached out to squeeze your shoulder but was interrupted by Darren yelling “CHRIS!” at the other end of the room.

“I better go before Sir Shouts-A-Lot yells at me again.” Chris said. You let out a little laugh and watched him leave.

-----------------------

Two more weeks had passed and you had only spoken to Chris on the odd occasion that he would pass you on set. Every time there was a coffee call, Darren made sure someone else made it to stop you two from interacting. You couldn’t see what his problem was but you chose not to kick up a fuss anyway.

When your break finally came around, you grabbed a cup of tea and decided to walk around the studio...just so happens that along your walk was the caravan park where all the actors stayed on set. You heard a familiar voice behind you and your heart dropped.

“Oi! What do you think you’re doing back here?”

You froze.

You slowly turned around, ready to face the wrath of Darren, when, to your surprise, Chris was standing there grinning.

“Good impression, no?” He chuckled. You let out a long sigh.

“Jesus, Chris, you nearly gave me a heart attack.” You scorned, but you couldn’t help smiling,

“On your break?” He asked, gesturing to the tea in your hand.

“Yeah, only a short one though. I get to finish early today.” You said.

“Oh nice! I’ve already wrapped for the day myself. Say, did you want to do something when you’re finished? It’s cool if not, I just thought it would be nice for us to actually talk and maybe become friends? Without the demon on my shoulder.” He said. You smiled instantly.

“I finish in 2 hours, I would love to do something!” You said, maybe a little too enthusiastically.

“Okay okay, um, I have a few movies back in the caravan if you wanna pick one later?”

“Sure, sounds like a plan. I’ll run over as soon as I’ve finished.” You smiled at him.

“It’s a date.” He winked at you and walked away.

Time was moving slower than ever. You kept checking your watch to see how much time had passed but it was only ever a couple of minutes. You decided not to look at your watch for a while and carry on with your duties. The next time you looked at your watch you had half an hour left. A wave of excitement came over you and you went back to finishing up your jobs.

Finally, the time had come.

You finished the jobs you were doing, collected your belongings and clocked out. Butterflies swarmed your stomach as you walked off set and into the caravan park. That’s when you realised you had no idea which caravan was Chris’. You walked up and down and scanned each one, careful not to look like a creep. Suddenly, the door of the caravan on your right opened and Chris stepped out.

“You’re not lost are you?” He asked, smiling.

“I wasn’t sure which was yours, they all look the same,” you said, shyly. He chuckled and invited you in.

You stepped into his caravan. There wasn’t a lot of stuff as it was only a temporary home, but it was still enough to produce a warm ambience. He gestured at you to sit down on the sofa, opposite the tv.

“I have chocolate, popcorn, sweets...salad...what do you fancy?” He asked.

“They’re all fine...except for the healthy stuff, that ruins movie time,” you said. He laughed and poured the sweets, chocolates and popcorn into separate bowls and placed them on the table in front of you.

“Drink? I’ve got fizzy drinks, water, hot chocolate, tea, milkshake...um...black coffee…” he said, you chuckled.

“A milkshake might be nice if that’s okay?” You asked, he nodded and said he was gonna have one too.

You couldn’t help the mix of nerves and excitement flowing through your body. You were sat in Chris Evans’ caravan...with Chris Evans! It really was a dream come true. You tried to calm yourself before you had a fangirl attack but it meant you came off quite shy and quiet.

“Here we are,” he said, placing the milkshakes on the table. “Are you warm enough?” he asked. You noticed you were sat on the sofa looking quite tense. You nodded.

“I’ll get blankets just in case,” Chris said. He went into his room and came out with two large blankets. He passed the softest one to you. You thanked him and adjusted yourself, taking off your shoes so you could sit cross-legged on his sofa with the blanket draped over you. This made you feel a bit more relaxed.

“So, um, what do you fancy?” he asked. You bit your tongue to stop you replying with “you”, you felt it was far too soon in your friendship to make a joke like that.

“Um, Captain America?” You joked. He giggled.

“Nuh-uh, not happening. Try again,” he said.

You had a small discussion on the types of films you like and you settled on Deadpool. Still a great Marvel film, just one that doesn’t have Chris in it so he didn’t have to stress about watching himself.

Chris put on the film and sat next to you, he grabbed his own blanket and draped it over his long legs. He offered you food and you kindly accepted. You both sat in silence whilst the film began, though you kept having to bite your lip to stop you from smiling so much.

About 45 minutes into the film, Chris started to get fidgety, so he tried to adjust himself without making too much noise. In the process of moving his hand, he accidentally scratched the sole of your foot. You let out a squeak and pulled your foot away.

“Sorry, sorry, that was an accident,” Chris said, apologetically.

“It’s okay,” you said, relaxing a bit but praying that he didn’t notice your squeak. You didn’t notice him giving you a side-eye with a puzzled expression on his face.

He sat still for a few minutes then went to adjust himself again, this time deliberately scraping his nails against your sole. You squealed louder and tucked your foot under your leg. You looked over at him and he had a wicked smirk on his face.

“You’re not ticklish by any chance, are you?” He asked, the corner of his lip curling up.

“N-no, you just made me jump,” you said, unconvincingly. He narrowed his eyes but let out a “hm” and turned back to the film.

You were a lot less relaxed now. You were ridiculously ticklish but only a handful of people knew. The trouble was, you did enjoy being tickled but you were always embarrassed by how ticklish you were. Your heart was pounding at the thought of Chris Evans discovering this weakness.

A few more minutes had passed and you couldn’t properly relax. You were still sat cross-legged but your foot was tucked further under your leg this time. Chris let out a little yawn and stretched, you flinched at his movement but still kept your cool. He noticed and tried to hide his smile. When he put his arms back under his blanket, he casually let one hand slide over and gently tickle your toes. This time you let a small giggle slip out and you clamped your mouth shut.

“I think you are ticklish,” he teased. Your heart did a somersault. He gave you a playful smirk and the nerves washed over your body. You couldn’t even find the words to speak. He reached over and grabbed your foot with one hand, pulling it out from under your leg, and he used his other hand to tickle your sole. You shrieked loudly and tried to tug your foot away but his grip was too strong. You couldn’t even twist that far away because of how you were sitting. You fell backwards into the sofa and kept giggling.

“Chrihihis plehehease,” you giggled.

“Aww look at you, you’re so ticklish,” he cooed. You lifted up your blanket to cover your bright red face.

“Oh no you dont,” he said. He stopped tickling your foot and lunged at you, pinning you down to the sofa. You screamed at the sudden attack and pulled the blanket further over your face. He shook his head and vibrated his fingers into your tummy. You shrieked loudly and used one hand to bat away his hands.

“Come on, I wanna see your face when I tickle you,” he said. Your laughter shot up an octave when he started squeezing your hips.

“Oh? Did I just find a bad spot?” He asked. You kept trying to bat him away with one hand but it was no use.

“Remove the blanket or I’m gonna make this worse for you,” he said, sternly.

“NEHEHEVER!” You shrieked under the blanket.

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” He shot his hands under your arms and you screamed loudly. You couldn’t keep holding the blanket over your head with him tickling deep into your armpits. You slammed your arms down and the blanket fell off you in the process.

“That’s better, I can see your face when you laugh now,” he said. The feeling of his fingers wiggling deep into your armpits was absolute torture.

“Surely it doesn’t tickle this much?” He asked. You shrieked loudly and your laughter grew more desperate with every tease.

“Does it tickle more when I mention how much it tickles?” He asked, clearly aware of what he was doing.

“SHUHUHUT UHUHUP!” You cried. He laughed with you which made it worse.

“Ohh, cootchie cootchie coo,” he said in a high pitched teasing voice. That made you scream more and frantically try and buck him off you.

You thought that would be the killer move? Oh no. Not for Chris. He picked up the pace of his wiggling fingers in your armpits and bent down to nuzzle his beard into your neck. His longer hair brushed over your ear too. This was the killer. It was absolute torture. He blew a raspberry into your neck and you fell into silent laughter. You couldn’t cope with him tickling your armpits, his beard tickling your neck and his hair tickling your ear. He laughed into your neck and the vibrations were the final straw. You started hitting his shoulder with as much force as you could and he sat back up, removing his hands.

“Sorry, I went a bit too far. Are you okay?” He asked, getting off of you. You lay there, sucking in deep breaths, and nodded. Your face was the deepest shade of red it had ever gone.

“Are you sure?” He asked, giving you a hand up.

“I...I...” you began, he looked at you with a concerned expression on his face. “I’m okay,” you breathed out. He gave you a soft smile.

You were more in shock at the fact you had just been ruthlessly tickled by Chris Evans. You couldn’t speak, your heart was pounding ten to the dozen.

“You’re quite possibly the most ticklish person I’ve ever met,” he said. Somehow your face went an even deeper shade of red.

“Aww, you’re so cute when you blush,” he cooed.

“Shut...up..” you whispered.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” He asked, shuffling closer to you.

“Yeah, I’m more than okay,” you said. He raised an eyebrow.

“Don’t tell me you liked that?” He asked, a hint of teasing in his voice. You blushed and tilted your head down.

“No. Way. You enjoyed that didn’t you?” He asked. You blushed once again and gave a very small nod.

“Just when I thought you couldn’t get more adorable,” he said. “Little Y/N enjoys being tickled.”

You looked up at him. A wave of playfulness came over you.

“I’m so gonna get you,” you said. Before he could protest, you launched yourself at him and tackled him to the sofa. You wasted no time in squeezing his sides.

The laughter that came out of him was one you had never heard before. It was so warm and genuine and it only made you want to tickle him more. You giggled at his weak state and switched between tickling his sides, armpits, tummy and ribs to see which one made him laugh the most. It was clear that he was enjoying himself too.

“Aww is Chris ticklish too?” You cooed, surprised at your sudden confidence. You were met with a chorus of begs and pleads but you couldn’t stop yourself tickling him.

It was a really cute afternoon with just the two of you. But you were both too distracted to see who was outside the caravan, watching as you both ruthlessly tickled each other.

Darren.

[otterskin]

Dumb Details From the Loki Trailer I noticed but then got too serious about

First - apparently it’s not a trailer, so I guess we’ll get ‘Trailer 1′ later? ‘Exclusive Clip’ hardly seems accurate, but hey, I’m not Disney’s marketing division. I wouldn’t live in a shoebox if I was.

Dumb detail no. 1:

Owen Wilson’s jacket is...weird. Look closely.

And another shot:

Yeah...his jacket has a ‘reversed collar’. It’s a cut-out rather than cloth folding on top. Huh. What a strange design choice. What could it mean?

I’ve no idea, but that I watched the trailer enough times to notice this should concern you.

Detail No. 2

In this scene, we see what we can presume to be President Loki’s ‘Throne’. Notice the candy-canes. This is a Santa Claus throne, presumably from some mall Santa. This whole place might be in a mall, judging by the stuff in it.

But the Loki in this shot is not President Loki. Notice that he’s wearing brown pants, a thin brown tie, and the beige shirt he’s seen wearing in other parts of the trailer after he's apparently joined the TVA. President Loki wears black pants, a green vest and a wide green tie with a golden clip that resembles Loki’s little chevron he always has (more on that later).

So it would seem that Loki might meet President Loki here. President Loki might even be addressing him at the end of the trailer. It’s possible that his minions turn on him because there’s two Lokis and they don’t know which is the ‘imposter’. 

Speaking of, there’s a minion with bicycle handlebars grafted to a football helmet here, likely meant to resemble Loki. I dig it. There’s also cans of food scattered among the rubbish here. Makes sense that food production is non-existent since everyone has resorted to wearing license plates and spoons. Love how tattered the whole aesthetic is.

This reminds me of the opening Michael Waldron’s script ‘Worst Guy of All Time’, which featured a similar post-apocalyptic setting after the ‘worst guy’ ruins everything and makes himself king of the ashes. That’s likely what’s happened here, but I hope that Loki isn’t anything like Logan Paul, who was the inspiration for that title character.

Ah, the mysterious female character watching a meteor shower WAY TOO CLOSE UP. But my eyes are drawn to one thing...

What is that oblong object with a shiny handle? Could it be...

A sword? I do love swords. Did you know there’s a bunch of pictures of me in the stock photos for ‘Fencing?’ That’s my cred for loving swords.

I suspect that this female character will be an amalgamation of Amora (shudder) and Sylvie and an alternate Loki of some kind. This sword is currently in her possession, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it or another timeline version of it becomes the Loki Show’s Loki′s weapon. 

Loki has lacked a ‘weapon of his own’ in the MCU for quite some time. I mean, yes, he has his little knives, but they are many and disposable and something he chose for himself, rather than the two legendary weapons wielded by Odin and Thor, Gungnir and Mjolnir. In fact, throughout his appearances, Loki has seemed to want such a thing of his own - he briefly had Gungnir, and then the Gungnir-like scepter, and even tried to lift Mjolnir.

One might ask why Odin would’ve overlooked such an obvious show of favouritism. Why give Thor a storied weapon and leave Loki empty-handed? Heck, even Hela had the Necroblade.

In Thor 1, we might’ve assumed that the Casket of Ancient Winters was perhaps intended one day to be given to Loki, as it is shown with Mjolnir in the Vault and thus connected to it and the children who would inherit it.  But in the comics, Odin did have another weapon of storied history put away for his second son: Gram the Sword.

It was locked for eons by Odin in a special vault which required five keys to be opened, and it was meant to be for Loki if he be worthy.[2] The five keys were infused by Odin with the powers of "journeys", "endurance", "secrets", "new beginnings", and "brotherhood", respectively.[3]

The sword, like everything else in comics, has a complicated history full of take-backs and twists, but let’s just leave it at ‘it’s a representation of Loki’s worthiness and belonging in the trifecta with Odin and Thor as a King of Asgard’. It gives him ‘equality’.

In the original mythology, it’s wielded by Sigurd to kill the dragon Fafnir, and the only relation it has to Loki is that Loki is partially responsible for Fafnir existing in the first place (my username is nod to this myth by the by. Sorry Ottär.) But hey, maybe that means we’re getting a dragon? The Fafnir would be very cool.

Or it could just be a bit of rebar in this mining quarry.

Then again...it appears somewhere else...

It’s easier to see in motion, but that’s a sword swinging on this person’s back.

So the hooded figure is this lady...shall we call her Amylkie? Does that mean she’s the antagonist of this show? Well...maybe, but I suspect the true antagonist is foreshadowed here  -

So, what’s going on here? A young girl (Young Amylkie? Some other TVA prisoner that the guard is watching over? An oracle, A Norn, or a kid who wandered off from the tour group in a basilica somewhere?) She’s giving Mobius M. Mobius a...piece of chocolate. Maybe he saw a Dementor, I dunno. I suspect it’ll be a MacGuffin of some kind later. He looks pretty concerned here, which contrasts with his ‘another day at the office’ blaséness when dealing with Loki. But of course this is the eye-catcher:

So, Norse Mythology. It’s been Christiannized. You can thank Snorri Sturluson for that, but you can google all about him later. Let’s just say that he made many Norse figures into equivalents for Christian ones. Baldur is Jesus, pure and a sacrificial lamb who dies for a greater good. And the devil is...Loki. Something the Marvel comics and the MCU have continued.

Here we have a devil, dressed in green and with a distinct shape on his chest:

Hmmm...wait...I know that weird horny shape...

Ah. I’d say that cinches it. This is meant to be Loki. If you look at the devil’s hair, it also resembles Loki’s, being shoulder-length and black.

So, what’s devil-Loki doing? Laying an egg? Trying out a foot massager? For a second I thought it was a moon, but we see the moon over his left shoulder, amongst the stars. Which means this is - probably the Earth.

...Dammit; I live there.

So Earth is barren and being devoured by flames, likely caused by this Loki sitting atop of it (in a throne, no less). Aw gee, things look pretty bad, don’t they?

But wait - what’s that? Under the Earth (and, possibly, under the earth)?

It’s a plant. A shoot, to be exact.

Back to Ragnarok for a second. Ragnarok isn’t the apocalypse (something we see a lot of in this trailer - all of it seems to be exploring the end of days). Ragnarok is the fire meant to wipe out the old and fertilize the ground for the new. And after the gods have died, what happens? Well, Baldur emerges from Hel, one of the only surviving gods (hmm, seems him dying worked out, didn’t it?). He’s joined by Líf and Lífþrasir, who are the new first man and woman, who’s names mean ‘Life’ and who are pictured, usually, with plants and new life. It is they who are tasked who growing a new Yggdrasil after the destruction of the old. The previous first man and woman are Ask and Embla, meaning Ash Tree and Vine/Elm tree, so there’s a theme there. 

So a new sprout, possibly a tree, growing out of the destruction of the old.

This fits with Loki’s role as understood in mythology. He checks the arrogance of the gods, including when they tried to achieve immortality (sorry, Baldur, nothing personal), and that keeps the gods at their best. After Loki is imprisoned, the gods become weak, unhelpful and foolish, and Yggdrasil starts to rot. Eventually Loki escapes and returns along with Surtur (who also resembles this figure) to burn it all to the ground. This is also referenced in Thor:Ragnarok, with Loki releasing Surtur in the Vault, a place of thematic importance to Loki and one that represents the hidden secrets and sins of Asgard). You could say Ragnarok continued into Infinity War, where Loki played an important part in aiding Thanos’ destruction, giving up the stone to protect his brother and essentially dooming the rest of the universe - but also ultimately leading to its salvation, even if, like Myth Loki, he wasn’t around to see it.

So, we see Amylkie literally start a fire in the trailer -

- in fact, this whole trailer is awash in flame -

It’s fire, fire everywhere and she’s setting them!

It’s possible Amylkie’s our big bad, but I think there’s a chance she’s either a red herring, or, much like how Loki ‘worked’ with Thanos in The Avengers, she is the pawn of a greater foe -

  - a Loki bent on destruction, for some reason or other. The TVA is obviously aware that this is the case, and it seems like they might be trying to ‘fight fire with fire’ by enlisting one Loki to combat another. The villain could be President Loki, since there's evidence of 2 Lokis in that scene - or maybe that's one of many Lokis, and the Big Bad Loki is being played by Hugh Grant as Old Loki. In any case, it would appear that Loki will be coming face-to-face with the worst versions of himself, and many of them. And, if I’m right about this scene:

...Loki will likely eventually discover that even his ‘good’ timeline ended in the destruction of his people and home, plus his own gruesome and torturous death. Although I think the TVA will keep that from him, and just show him the happy parts in an effort to inspire ‘good behaviour’. Until Loki inevitably discovers the rest of how that timeline played out and realize he’s been lied to. I don’t imagine he’ll take that very well...

Damn, even our ‘hero’ Loki is burning stuff down! Does this mean that Loki is doomed, always meant to be an avatar of death and toasty destruction?

Well...let’s go back to that stained glass.

Hmmm...wait...I know that weird horny shape...

And there’s something else...the bottom of the Earth is being lit up, and not by fire. Light appears to be coming off this little plant.

What colour is this plant again? That’s right, green. Green is the colour of new life and growth and change and...hang on, I’ve heard that before, too...

Hang on hang on HANG ON... let me have a look at the shape again.

That’s...a letter. An L? For Loki? Like in the title sequence?

Wait...no, a different letter. An older letter. After all, Loki is old Norse. How do you spell his name in that again?

ᛚᛟᚲ ᛁ -

And ENHANCE on that third letter!

This, my friends, is a Kenaz/Kaunaz, or what would become 'K' in our alphabet. It is also known as the 'Loki Rune' (and the Ulcer Rune, for some reason. I suspect Odin understands why). It’s used to spell his name, but is also used on his own to represent him. Heck, it's even his Superman 'S' in the comics:

Runes are more than letters - they are symbols for concepts. So what else does it mean?

Primarly, it means ‘torch’.

And also ‘knowledge’ (ken). As well as ‘growth, change, the search for truth, decay, arrogance, elitism, feminine, kinship and creativity.’

...Okay, that’s a lot, but you have to admit it fits.

More specifically, it means ‘Mastery of the Fire’. As in, someone who has learned to tame fire so that it is helpful, not harmful. To bring light and, symbolically, knowledge.

There’s another way Loki’s been associated with fire - in the Wagner Ring Cycle, Das Rheingold, the opera that inspired much the Thor films’ aesthetic and certainly their helmets, Loki is called ‘Loge’, which means ‘Fire’. He’s usually dressed to match, too -

Many trickster figures are associated with fire. They are usually called ‘Fire-bringers’ - See: Raven, Lucifer, Prometheus, etc. They are often complex figures with a foot in different worlds, but who nonetheless help mankind with the gift of ‘fire’ - although they usually pay for it, and tend to be self-destructive.

(Side note. Lucifer means light-bringer, which is what luciferase is named after. Because it glows. Which is helpful in labs. In case someone needed to know that.)

Moving from a destructive fire-starter to a fire-bringer seems like a great character arc for Loki to take, especially given his rehabilitation in pop culture, the comics, and even wider culture. Loki has gone from being seen as an evil, deviant, destructive character to one who’s seen as a patron of the arts and creativity, of stories rather than lies. Heck, some scholars of Norse Mythology even posit that he’s the closet thing to a protagonist Norse Mythology has, so I guess that backfired, Snorri!). Being dressed in green and with the sprout clearly also being stylized after his Kaunaz, there’s foreshadowing that he’ll be capable of growing good things even out of ashes.

So, to sum up: Being ‘Satan’ sounds pretty bad, but with a little letter re-arranging like we see in the title sequence, you can be...

...practically a saint. Maybe even a saviour.

Merry Christmas, everybody.

[cobbbvanth]

help I'm super emo after finally getting to see a Black Widow movie

if you can watch this at a cinema, i highly recommend you do so ♡

[spoilers ahead. beware!]

- seeing the Marvel title card on a cinema screen after two whole years is so exciting, it feels like coming home <3

- Ever Anderson was a great choice for young Natasha, i was crying just 10 minutes in wtf

- THE OPENING CREDITS. major Bond film vibes, excellent song choice and some heartbreaking exposition all in about three minutes

- i really like how it bridges the gap between Civil War and Infinity War, this is peak MCU in my opinion so yes give us all the story (did Ross just let her walk again though? that guy is not good at his job lol)

- seeing Nat wearing her arrow necklace always makes me so happy

- fight choreography throughout was so good, especially with pretty much all of it being close hand to hand combat!

 - but damn everybody has a Cap shield these days, do they grow on trees now or something?

- Florence Pugh is beautiful, talented, amazing, incredible. the dynamic between Nat and Yelena is fantastic and feels so much like a real sibling relationship even if they haven’t seen each other for years. their constant bickering in their first escape scene, “any day now” “shut up,” “what was your plan?” “i was just going to drive us away!” lmao big fan of these two

- you can tell this movie had a female director because the women HAVE THEIR HAIR TIED UP! ESPECIALLY IN FIGHT SCENES!! this is so important to me, we love to see gals being practical

- on a similar note i adored Yelena mocking Nat’s “pose fighting.” the movie itself is making fun of how Natasha has been unnecessarily sexualised for so many years and it’s so refreshing

- Alexei being the butt of every joke was so funny to me. he’s got the spirit, that’s for sure. the girls explaining what happens to their reproductive organs in the red room after rescuing him from prison was one of my favourite scenes for sure

- oh and Yelena’s vest! it has so many pockets!! some she even added herself!!! and she gives it to Nat and it’s the one Nat wears in Infinity War NOBODY TOUCH ME

- i liked the little dysfunctional family so much more than i thought i would. from American Pie singalongs and awkward reunion dinners to trusting each other with unrehearsed super spy plans, they’ve got it all

- plus Nat calling the Avengers her family so many times?? and us finally getting to know what went down in Budapest?? now that’s some good content

- this movie really illustrates why Nat broke the Sokovia Accords: she really does care about saving people, and will do whatever it takes

- have to give some props to Mason for getting Nat all the stuff she needs AND at such short notice, really pulled through at the end there. (AND THE AVENGERS THEME OVER THE JET AT THE END. yes just that piece of the original theme is enough to make me cry again)

- not wild about the villain dude, but he’s not really what the movie was about! Taskmaster pulling out Avengers fighting moves (Winter Soldier knife flip!) was SICK though!!

- i really don’t care how many times we’ve seen the face shifting mask thing before i’m excited about it every time!

- there's just so much girl power in this movie and it's so nice to see. And it's genuinely badass women, not just pandering. Also it's just fun to see the ladies getting the classic action hero treatment, even if it gets a tad out of hand at the very end

- Secretary Ross, sir, please take a vacation

overall i thoroughly enjoyed the movie, and it was worth the wait. it was well paced, the score was great, and such a perfect place in the mcu timeline to have a Nat-centric moment. i love her so much, it’s been like 3 hours and i miss her already :’)))

- END CREDIT: i’m hyped. poor Clint still cannot catch a break, but i’m so excited to see these guys together

[sneezy-cheeseloaf]

recounting the entire avengers: endgame movie, which i only saw once when it came out, from memory

because i just took the SAT and i want to do anything except think about that so get ready for a fun ride full of holes and my reenactments of scenes and quotes that i remember from however many years it’s been now since endgame came out. buckle the fuckle up

movie opens, clint’s whole ass family fucking dies. cue killing spree fueled by grief and anger. HashTag Relatable

tony is floating through space with nebula and teaching her how to play paper football

holy shit is this how tony dies

“pep” ouc h

oh hey he’s home, dope

The Gang (tm) learns where thanos’s farm is somehow i can’t really remember

“perhaps i judged you too harshly”

“???? thor????” “what? i went for the head”

“five” five what?? days?? weeks??? months???? oh boy i can’t wait to find ou- “years later” HUH???????

steve looks the exact same, so i guess he kept up that workout schedule even through the snap. i mean good for him honestly

and is also running a talk therapy group like sam did

a single smidgen of gay representation but it’s a good start ig

i don’t really remember what everyone else was doing, i just know that tony and pep have morgan now but idk if that gets revealed now or later

the only reason we had a movie is because of a rat. everyone say thank you to Rat for releasing scott lang, please. round of applause

scott’s daughter is all grown up and catch me sobbing over the fact that he wasn’t there to see it

somewhere in here nat is crying and eating a sandwich and honestly girl same

“hey!!! it’s me!!!! scott lang!!! ant man???? also what the hell happened???? lemme IN”

cue scott lang having a single brain cell and bringing up time travel. i think it was him that proposed the idea. maybe not. but imma give him credit

oh yeah bruce and hulk are besties now and bruce is just permanently Like That

and cue everyone being shook at the idea of time travel

time to go see Science Man at his house on the lake

“i wish you had come for anything else.” ouch

gang leaves dejectedly

peter. that’s it. and suddenly tony is all hands on deck

cue science mumbo jumbo in the middle of the night while he eats something out of a bag that i can’t remember

“shit!!” “sHiT!!!” “NO”

“i love you 3000″

Science Man reveals that he has, indeed cracked the code to literal time travel

cue nat, the only person with an umbrella, going to find clint who is busy with murder, as he does

“don’t do that. don’t give me home” stfu budapest man and get in the car.

thor has. enlargened. and is now playing fortnight with korg as a means to cope with what happened plus losing loki, as i think we all would

The Gang is back together and working (surprisingly) coordinately and throwing ideas around and it’s actually very cute. and it makes my heart very happy. and i want to cry every time i think about it because we all know what comes next

scott’s taco gets blown away. bruce gives him another. all is well in the world

and in this exhibit we see the only brain cell in the whole group, which is being used by rhodey at all times

“why don’t we just,,,, (choking motion)” “to a BABY???”

during the time tests someone gets reverted to a baby but i don’t remember who and it’s highkey disturbing

“i consider this an absolute win!!”

cue slo mo walk with the cool white time suits that everyone looks so good in

“see you in a minute” that smile. she looks so happy. sobbing

i think it’s in here that all the color go through steve’s eyes, so let’s just take a minute to acknowledge how pretty he is

“just for the record, that suit did nothing for your ass.” “i don’t remember asking you to look”

“that’s america’s ass.” yes it is scott you’re absolutely right

“i cOuLd dO tHiS aLL dAy” “yeah i knoOoOW”

time for tony to give tony a heart attack and then just stare in what i can only assume is amusement. i’m pretty sure that comes after america’s ass but maybe not

somewhere in here steve is just staring at peggy through blinds and it’s sad when you see it but when you think about it afterwards, it’s so funny for no reason

time to get whacked by a very angry hulk who was not allowed to use the elevator

“NO STAIRS”

tony goes flying. so does the tesseract. loki, in handcuffs, is like “oh bet this is mine now” and. Leaves.

i’m pretty sure it’s bruce who goes and gets schooled by The Ancient One on the multiverse, and i say it’s bruce because i think he’s the only one out of The Gang who could ever actually wrap his head around it

i don’t remember exactly how they get the tesseract but they do

thor and rocket are in asgard and thor has a panic attack, as I think we all would if we had to talk to our dead mother and pretend like we don't know what's going to happen

and remember kids, slapping someone is not the way to handle a panic attack. anyways

a mother always knows

"i'm still worthy!!!!" you always were, thor. you never stopped being worthy

and we have our hammer back

cue sobbing on vormir

“clint. it’s ok. it’s ok.” that smile.

nat’s fucking dead and i’m fucking dead inside let’s keep this party goin

other stones are recovered and i don’t really remember how but hey we got all six

“where’s nat?” cue more sobbing from me and from clint as you can see each and every team member’s heart drop to the fucking floor. especially steve

yeah maybe we’re doing this for half the universe and all the people we lost, but mostly for nat now

tony’s makeshift infinity gauntlet has entered the chat

Green Man is the only one who can physically take the power of the stones, so the fate of literally everything they have ever done up to this point is on him

snap rest in peace bruce’s arm

cue every single person in the theater holding their breath

“guys. it worked.”

cue explosion as their facility gets bombed and i am terrified that it has killed the entire gang

but it obviously has not and i am once again a Class A Idiot

i can't remember if it’s steve or tony who wakes up first but one shakes the other awake and is like “get the fuck up bitch idk what just happened but we got a problem”

everyone is mostly fine. but they’re all alive and that’s what matters

and now we have the setting for the entire rest of the movie basically

oh hey thanos. that’s uh. that’s a big army you got there

i don’t really remember everything that happened with The Past thanos, gamora, and nebula but i remember that gamora once again sees what a twat her adoptive father is and is like “oh hell na”

cue the gang fighting for their lives against Past thanos. literally

oh shit thor’s about to be killed????

OH MY GOD HE HAS THE HAMMER

cue the theater screaming as they should

hell yeah. bonk that giant space grape with the god of thunder’s hammer. you go steve. and look like a badass doing it as you should

shit’s still fucked and they eventually get their asses handed to them one by one

somewhere in here the shield breaks just like we saw in age of ultron. and like damn bro i liked that thing

steve stands up by himself because bitch. you cant kill him unless he says so. he dies on his own terms. he didn’t live for over a fucking century to die like this

our mans is standing up against a whole ass army knowing full well that he can’t win but damn if he aint ready to try

“ok listen strange. you have to open the portal to his left. his LEFT. you hear me???”

“steve. STEVE. on your left.”

cue the most goosebump-inducing scene that i have ever seen and probably will ever see. i would do anything to see that scene for the first time again. that feeling was like nothing i’ve ever experienced

the amazing symphonics are NOT helping my already-about-to-explode-from-excitement heart

now the gang’s ALL here. and we all cry because all of our peeps are back from the dead and we all missed them and highkey grieved for them after infinity war

i can’t remember if steve actually sees bucky yet but i think he does and i wanted to cry on the spot because not only did i miss bucky but man did i just want them to see each other again

cue sick pan of the whole ass marvel roster like smash ultimate, including howard duck somewhere in there

PETER OUR BOY SWINGIN ON IN

“AVENGERS. assemble.” “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”

but we all know damn well that not a single person could hear him whisper that shit. like steve bro speak up a little

and the battle for the ages commences

we get to see all our favorite boys are girls fuck shit up and it’s absolutely incredible. wow it really feels like someone’s missing who could that be.

this is now a very elaborate game of keepaway

“catch” “Catch” “CATCH “CATCH”

“hey queens” he remembered. catch me cryin

“hey peter. got somethin for me?” god i love her. flew through a whole ass spaceship. no stoppin her

t'challa remembers clint's name. he did care

oh yeah scott is fucking humongous again, but third time’s the charm ig. maybe he won't pass the fuck out this time

somewhere in here, strange starts holding like. an entire ocean back and i dont really remember where it came from

we get a whole segment of marvel women kicking ass and taking names and i think i just need to take a minute. WE collectively need to take a minute

carol flies straight through a spaceship and everyone is like ???? hello????? where have you been?????????

carol gets literally headbutted by thanos and doesnt move a fucking inch. and that look of murder in her eyes. she could tell me to walk into a pit of lava and i would not question it. the power

“launch the missiles!!!” “but sir, our army-” “DO IT”

damn thanos our expectations for you were low but holy fuck

somewhere in here i think petter quill sees Past gamora and is like gamora???? and she like kicks him in the balls or somethin and is like “this is the ones i picked?????”

the fight continues and honestly a lot of it’s a blur but damn was it not the coolest thing i’ve ever seen. 

cue strange knowing exactly how this was gonna go down, and holding up a single finger

i dont think ive ever seen that look on tony's face before

oh shit thanos has the gauntlet and all the stones. fuck.

wait holdup that gauntlet looks a little funky

WAIT HOLDUP

“i am inevitable”

“and i. am iron man.”

the theater, once again holds its breath

all is lowkey calm and everyone is shook

thanos’s entire army slowly fades away. including one of those big worm things that almost eats (i think it was) rocket but like. dusts right as it hits the ground and is a really cool shot

and thanos sits down on a rock. and finally is gone. and it's so cathartic

oh joyous day!! they’ve won!! they’ve done it!!! wait holdup where’s tony. i remember what happened to bruce where the fuck is tony

wait

wait hold on

wait hold on a minute

“we did it. we won, mr stark. we won. please, mr stark”

“pep.”

“it’s ok. you can rest. you can rest.”

i have officially passed away and am a sobbing mess. you can’t do this to me. he’s gonna come back. there’s no way. tony stark doesn’t die. no.

this is a fucking funeral. i am going to combust into tears

“proof that tony stark has a heart”

i just wanted him to be able to see morgan grow up.

but him and nat are eating shawarma together in the sky now.

“i’m recording this in case something goes wrong, which it won’t.”

“i love you 3000.”

oh we’re still rolling. oh we don’t even get a minute to process

steve is leaving??? wait holdup we cant lose both. no

“are you sure about this?” “i have to”

“i’m with you til the end of the line” so that was a fucking lie

but steve deserves to do what makes him happy. so i can’t be too mad. actually, nah i aint even mad i’m just sad

bucky looks so dejected. so sad. someone please give him a hug. he desperately needs it

oh hey steve. but you’re old now. hey then, grandpa. how did you. get there

buck and sam go talk to him as they should

“you wanna talk about her?” “no, i don’t think i will”

“how does it feel?” “like it belongs to someone else”

sam has officially inhered the shield, and by extension, his very own bucky barnes. it’s a packaged deal

clint’s got his family back. and they can finally finish their picnic or whatever they were doing at the beginning of the movies

and steve finally got that dance. finally. and he looks so happy. so content.

and that’s about all i remember

i have not watched endgame since i saw it in theaters when it came out because i absolutely do not have the emotional stability to do it again. but damn the disney plus shows have been bangin

i hope you enjoyed the ride, thank you for joining me in my. whatever the fuck this is

[dalekofchaos]

Why Voldemort is a terrible villain and how I’d improve Voldemort as a villain

As much as I like Voldemort, when you look back on the books. Voldemort is a terrible villain. Yes he has the Horcruxes and has loyal followers...but that’s it. In this post I will be examining why Voldemort is a terrible villain in Harry Potter and how I would improve Voldemort as a villain.

Let’s look at Voldemort’s track record

No clear motivations. The movies do absolutely nothing to flesh out Voldemort, but that's understandable, they're the movies. But even in the books, there is no clear reason for Voldemort doing any of the things that he does. During the flashbacks in the Pensive, Tom is a disturbed child who has a tendency to torture animals, lure other children to creepy caves and steal stuff - all of this is bad, yes, but why? Why is Tom Riddle "evil"? I know the explanation that the canon somewhat provides: that Voldemort doesn't know love/friendship/connection because he was conceived under the trickery of a love potion, and his mother was abused But, even if you accept that explanation, that does not justify Tom Riddle being innately evil and monstrous. Why is he racist/supremacist? If he really is a natural genius with a detachment from human emotion, shouldn't he also be detached from things like blood supremacy, ancestry and mortality? Just because he's a sociopath doesn't mean he will automatically turn into Hitler.

Wages a Wizarding war, but couldn’t even conquer his own Wizarding Nation

He couldn’t become Minister Of Magic. Instead he dicked around in Borgins And Burkes and instead wanted to become Defense Against The Dark Arts Professor.....for reasons. He could’ve used his power as Minister Of Magic to gain followers, especially the fanatic pure blood families and the impressionable Slytherins and cover for his Horcrux murders. But nooo.

When Voldemort DOES take power by force during the second Wizarding War, he does barely anything with it. Voldemort owns the government and has an army of evil. Where does he plan to launch his attack on the world? At a god damn highschool. Yes I know he attacked Hogwarts because of the last Horcrux. Didn't need to get that far if he didn't act like the world's worst Bond villain and monologued for enough time to let Harry either escape or for the Deus ex machina to arrive on que. The first two times it happens, yeah I get it. You're a villain who is up himself, shit happens. But by book 5 when he is still doing dumb shit it's unforgivable. How hard is it to issue a kill on sight order to your hordes of evil? I mean FFS you have legit werewolves on your side, who can sniff out a drop of blood miles away and yet you do nothing with them? Not only do you fail to kill a defenseless baby but you can't evil kill the kid when he's locked up in your second in commands basement.

He isn't particularly charismatic or a decent leader. He does have tons of followers, for reasons. Seriously, except for fear and opportunism I can't understand why anybody would want to fight for him. I mean, I get that he is basically magic!Hitler, but actual Hitler could at least hold speeches. Actual Hitler had arguments why his rule would be good for the German people. Voldemort doesn't. Voldemort treats his followers like shit and tortures or kills them if they aren't useful any more.

He didn't do his homework and doesn't knows the magic lore good enough. He manages to kill himself two times because of lore he really should have known about. The first time he fails to see the magic love-charm, the second time he doesn't recognizes the arcane rules of wand ownership. Those are stupid, avoidable mistakes for somebody that is supposed to be the greatest dark mage of his time.

He isn't even a particularly good mage. He manages to get statemaled by Harry and defeated by Dumbledore. He never does anything truly remarkable with magic that we haven't seen other characters do the same or better (the cave in book six is pretty good, but that's already has best showing). All we see is “AVADA KEDAVA.” Cool, I’ve seen every damn villain use that stupid fucking spell and yes it is a terrible spell.

His plans are... well, they are shit. If your plans get permanently foiled by a bunch of meddeling kids, you should think about retirement, not world domination. The plan in "Goblet of fire" only works out because of dumb luck. "Orden of phoenix" works out because of Harrys incompetence. The plan to kill Dumbledore only worked cause Voldemort used logic and had one of his followers do the work for him. The rest of his plans fail gloriously.

Voldemort's goals. He... wants to be immortal, but why? Because he's afraid of death? Why is he afraid of death? He literally spent his childhood cutting open rabbits. He excelled in all fields of academia and is arguably very intelligent; intelligence tends to negate superstition. Okay, fine; let's assume he's afraid of death. But even if we look for another explanation: maybe he wants to live forever in order to stay in power.

Voldemort wants power...Why does he want power? Why does he want to, quite literally, take over the world? It makes no sense. He has no reason to care about any of that. Even if he's prejudiced against Muggles, what exactly gives him the willpower to actually gather followers, build a legion of darkdoom evil squad and kill everyone? His motivations are never explained, and he is introduced to the story as a 2-dimensional "bad guy". Even from the 4th book onward, Voldemort is never actually fleshed out. He simply goes from bad guy to "extremely bad guy/"super fucking evil". It's shallow. It's a bad character. He isn't even a character. He has no depth, nuance, relatability or layers to him. He's just a textbook douchebag who exists simply to give the protagonists something to do, because otherwise the stories would just be about magic school.

Let's look at the closest and most obvious reflection: Adolf Hitler. It's painfully obvious that Voldemort's movement is based on Nazism. But if you read Mein Kampf, Hitler actually believed what he was doing was justified, and provided reasons for it which he thought made sense. Even if it was objectively flawed, he believed it. That's what makes a good character in fiction; even if they're actually batshit fucking insane and critically evil, you can make them relatable if you go inside their head and show the audience why they're doing what they're doing. Even if the audience doesn't agree with the character, the audience understands why the character thinks this way. Unlike Hitler's diary, Voldemort has no level of self-introspection, no actual justifications. He's a walking plot device, and that's ridiculously bad for a 7-book-long story where he's the main antagonist. I don't remember a single interaction, scene or exchange where Voldemort is shown to have any degree of self-awareness. The youngest we ever see him is when Dumbledore visits him in the orphanage, and by that point he's already evil as balls, for seemingly no reason. Even when Harry is talking to him in their final fight, Voldemort only hisses and spits out superficial threats and a shallow understanding of the events around him, and actually has no idea who he is, or why he's doing what he does. . If he were a realistic character, this lack of self-awareness would build up over time, would create self-doubt in him, and he would go through a character arc where he "found himself" and learned what he really wanted. And then, maybe he comes back and does some crazy shit, but this time he does them with glorious conviction, and has no shame in admitting it. The audience knows him now, and he's a great villain. But that's not what we got. Remember the 13-odd years Voldemort spent floating around like a puff of gas, possessing rats and squatting in Quirrel's turban? Why did his character not develop? HE HAD THIRTEEN FUCKING YEARS TO REFLECT ON HIMSELF. He literally had nothing else to do. He could've become such a complex character. Think about it: a bland, textbook villain gets cucked into infinity and now can't actually do anything but bide his time. It would clearly affect his personality, especially if it lasts 13 goddamn years. But when Voldemort is revived in book 4, he's still just "look how evil I am.exe". He had literally no character arc of any kind. That's actually impossible. No sentient human being can have the same personality, goals and motivations after over a decade of exile. He's a badly-written villain, plain and simple.

It seems like a very poor decision to make the antagonist of 7 thick books this unrelatable and bland. It also makes no sense because Rowling has written consistently excellent characters throughout the series. Why not make Voldemort a real character?

So here is how I would improve Voldemort as a villain

Motivation. So since it's universally accepted that Salazar was against Muggleorns because he grew up in a time where Wizards and Witches were being burned at the stake. What if Voldemort had similar intentions cause he grew up in a time during WWII and the Cold War and saw how powerful and dangerous the Muggles were becoming with their nuclear weapons and wanted to protect magic kind from the Muggles and viewed the Muggles invading a possibility. So he became Lord Voldemort and formed the Death Eaters to finish Salazar Slytherin’s work to protect magic kind against Muggles and Muggleborns. It could’ve started out as noble, but turned racist and evil in the end.  

As Tom Riddle, he becomes the Minister Of Magic or given a position of power secondary to the Minister Of Magic. The Lord Of Magic. It’s important that prior to becoming Lord Voldemort, he should hold a position of political power within the Ministry Of Magic. In Hogwarts, it is said as a student Tom was charismatic, charming and a wolf in sheep’s clothing. So why not use all that for politics? He could use his charm and political power to turn the Ministry Of Magic against the Muggleborns and against the Muggles. He would write a book explaining in detail why he believes in what he believes and that gives him the following he needs. The Book in question would be called “Magic Is Might!” The old Pure Blood magical families and impressionable young Slytherins would follow him like moths to a flame.  He could use his newfound political power to research all forms of magic and even the dark arts. He could make Horcruxes in secret. As Voldemort he would gather allies who were rejected by society like Werewolves and Giants. But despite what the Horcruxes do to his face, he could use magic to keep up appearances. He wouldn’t just be seeking to wage war with the muggles and muggleborns. First Voldemort has to take over the Wizarding world. 

Treats his followers like allies. Voldemort does not use fear and the threat of death and torture on his most trusted allies. Tom Riddle’s the Knights of Walpurgis hold key positions in Tom Riddle’s administration and then the Death Eaters are born and Voldemort treats them with respect and admiration. In a sense, he treats the Death Eaters like family.

The First WIzarding War should have been about Voldemort waging war on the other Wizarding nations. This would truly show how terrifying and powerful Voldemort really is. Would also explain why the other nations did not interfere in the second war, cause they were that terrified of Voldemort. The Order Of Phoenix was barely able to win and drive Voldemort from power. 

Voldemort’s fall was because he was desperate. He was ousted from power and Dumbledore, the OOTP and Aurors are on his trail. His body is failing him, so he desperately needs to create a new Horcrux. So he kills The Potters. He fully knew that Lily used the love charm to shield Harry from him. So He saw a way out. Voldemort purposefully destroyed himself so he could gain a new Horcrux. 

Plus, we can have Voldemort hide the Horcruxes in the nations he conquered. So Voldemort can hide them in -Russia -Germany -America -Hogwarts -France Obviously Nagini would be by his side at all times and well Harry is the last one. For context of how Voldemort conquered these nations. Imperio, subterfuge, and mass hysteria. He took out the Wizarding governments and implanted them with his thrawls.

Make Voldemort as hated as Umbridge. Here’s how.

In my hypothetical scenario where Voldemort hides the Horcruxes in different Wizarding Nations, make 8 books. Book 7 ends with everyone graduating from Hogwarts and the fall of the Ministry. 

This way, after graduation, the Ministry has fallen and it ends with the Big Seven on the run. In Book 8 they are all on the hunt for the Horcruxes. Not just for Horcruxes, but international allies to unite the Wizarding world against Voldemort. It ends with the final confrontation being at the Ministry. Voldemort's endgame plan is not just to wipe out the Muggleborns, but wiping out the Muggles. He has the Magic equivalent to a Nuclear bomb. Voldemort wants to destroy the Muggles and recreate the world in his image. Magic Is Might! He plans on using it and Harry has to stop him before it's too late

Voldemort fails because the Horcruxes are failing him. It isn’t immortality, it is only temporarily longevity and every time one of his Horcruxes gets destroyed, his body breaks down and his soul is in an even worse shape.  When Nagini is destroyed, it is over. Voldemort thinks if he can kill Harry, he will live forever as the prophecy states “only one can live forever.” so he believes if he could just kill Harry, he can win. But Harry deflects his curses and sends it right back at him. Voldemort dies as he did in the book. Powerless, alone and human.

[cafecitowriter]

Peggy Carter Saves Infinity War

So hear me out. We always talk about how Peggy could’ve stopped Civil War and the Snap (which obviously she could). I’ve been re-watching the Infinity Saga with my friend before she goes back to work next week. We’ve gotten to the point where a week ago, we saw Infinity War, and then I couldn’t get this idea out of my head, of exactly how Peggy saves the day in Infinity War. Like seriously I haven’t been able to write because this idea has just consumed me and I needed to write something out if I wanted to go on with my life.

I might make this a full fic someday. We’ll see.

There are probably some plot holes in here since I am about to ramble from brain to paper without any editing, but just roll with it for my sake.

Insert your favourite “this is how Peggy got to the future” but for all intents and purposes, the Peggy I’m talking about here is also a super soldier for reasons. Also, Civil War never happened because of Peggy so they’re all friends yay.

Even just this little bit got kinda long so it’s under the cut here: 

Tony and Bruce are still the only (official) Avengers right in New York when they come to get the Time Stone - except Peggy’s also there. 

Wanda and Vision are on a romantic getaway type trip in Glasgow, while Steve, Nat, and Sam are close by them responding to something unrelated. So while they’re all friends, they’re still physically separated from each other.

I read a post once that said that Tony covers the people he loves in suits (Rhodey, Pepper, Peter). He and Peggy would have obviously bonded and become extremely close, so he made a (more subtle) suit just for her - though there’s nothing subtle about the colours on her suit matching the ones on Steve’s uniform. It’s nothing nearly as extravagant the ones he made for himself or for Peter (because she wouldn’t let him). It covers her body, has some thrusters on the soles of her feet that she can use to fly, and has an optional helmet that is similar to Steve’s but also has a clear portion that covers her mouth if she’s somewhere she needs to be fully covered. The suit lives in a red, silver, and blue bracelet that she can activate at any time. She’s never worn the full suit in all the years she’s had it, but he begs her to always have it at the ready just in case. 

When they take to the sky, Peggy’s glad she actually listened to him.

As they’re going up, she and Tony have the same realization: it’s a one way trip. While Tony calls Pepper, she calls Steve.

He picks up in the middle of the first ring.

“You’re going up,” he states immediately, his voice heavy.

She’s not surprised that he knows. It’s all over the news - that she can hear in the background of wherever Steve’s at.

Which means he can see the space ship that they’re chasing getting higher and higher. She wonders if he can see her, too.

“Yes,” she answers simply, because there’s no way around it. As it is they’re almost out of time before the call inevitably gets dropped.

“Thanos is coming, he’s after the infinity stones,” she warns him.

“Vision,” Steve realizes at once.

“You can’t let Thanos or his minions get to him. You have to protect him, Steve.”

“I will,” he says firmly.

She couldn’t help but think that it wasn’t any easier being on this end of the call, but she had to keep it together. Steve was strong for her, after all.

“When I get back, I’m going to take you dancing,” she promises.

“8 o’clock on the dot,” he agrees.

“We can start with something slow,” she offers, and she feels the tears burning in her eyes as she finds her way into the damn ship. “We can start with our song.”

“I promise not to step on your feet.”

This time, he finishes his sentence before they get cut off.

While Steve, Nat, and Sam don’t get to Vision before he gets stabbed, they do get there sooner, so he’s not as in terrible condition. The earth end of the movie goes very similarly to the movie at this point.

Everything goes pretty much the same on the space side too - until we get to the team on Titan fighting Thanos. With Peggy’s help, Tony manages to form the plan to attack Thanos and things are going pretty well with the extra hand.

Then Quill comes along and allows his own grief to get in the way.

But this time, they have one more person to help. (And seriously I couldn’t help but think that entire time that they just needed one more person to deal with Quill so that they wouldn’t lose their grip on Thanos ugh).

Before Tony lets go, Peggy screams at him to keep at the gauntlet with Peter. She then drops her arms from where she had them wrapped around Thanos’ neck and tackles Quill. They fight it out because SERIOUSLY QUILL CAN YOU NOT WAIT TWO SECONDS.

He’s stronger than she thought he’d be - put she’s Peggy goddamn Carter and she isn’t about to let the billions of people die because of some petulant man child.

While they fight, Quill yells at her, tells her that she has no idea what Gamora meant to him, what he’s going through.

Peggy, of course, is one of the few people that probably understands what he’s going through the best. 

While physically wrestling him, she tells him about losing the love of her life but not being able to mourn because it was World War 2 and they had work to do, lives to save.

She tells him that he needs to respect Gamora’s sacrifice and the only way to do that is to get the gauntlet off of Thanos and stop him for good. She tells him that she knows how hard it is, but he needs to be strong.

He owes the billions of lives at stake - he owes Gamora that.

Finally, the gauntlet comes off. 

Thanos is now fighting back even harder, Mantis isn’t going to be able to keep him down much longer.

Peggy lets go of Quill and dashes to take the gauntlet from Peter because he’s just a child.

There’s a big mess as Thanos “wakes up”, throws them all off, and they play keep away with the gauntlet. At some point, Peggy gets it and she takes off in a mad dash/fly away from Thanos. During this, she sneaks the stones out of their slots without anyone noticing (where do you think Tony learned it from?) and she places them in the bag that Shuri made specially for her out of Vibranium - among other things. It is tear-proof, can be adapted to a different sizes and strapped to her body in multiple different ways. Peggy never leaves home without it.

(Context: Peggy visited Wakanda with Steve when he went to ask T’Challa to help Bucky. She and Shuri became fast friends because they’re two kickass women who have so much respect for each other and we love women supporting women. Ya’ll can fight me on this.)

Thanos catches up to Peggy and tears the gauntlet away from her. He then throws her violently in a random direction. Strange opens up a portal that she flies through.

(How he knew that she actually had the stones, well he’s Dr. Strange so).

Peggy lands (hard) in Wakanda during their big battle - right in the middle of the field. She’s disoriented, aching, and lying on her back, but she needs to get those damn stones to safety and this looks the exact opposite of that. 

“Peggy?”

It’s Steve.

He’s bloodied and breathless, but dear god it’s her Steve.

He rushes to her and helps her on her feet. Before she can say anything, he’s kissing her bruisingly because he thought he lost his best girl but she’s alive and she’s here.

“Steve,” she gasps, pulling back, her fingers digging into his biceps. “There’s no time.”

“That’s because you’re late,” he whispers, still in shock.

“I have the stones,” she presses on.

“What?”

“I have four infinity stones on my person and I need to get them as far away from here before Thanos realizes I’ve taken then and follows me here.”

“We need to destroy them,” he told her.

“How?”

Still keeping one arm wrapped around her, he pressed his finger to his ear, speaking into the comms.

“Wanda, we have a package coming your way, be ready. Everyone else, if we want to win, we have to get Peggy to Wanda while keeping those things away from Shuri and Vision.”

Then there’s a whole other mess as Peggy rushes toward Wanda. It’s very similar to Endgame where everyone takes turns fighting with her (at some point she gets separated from Steve for a bit), covering her and getting her to her destination. (Also I want one of these people to be Bucky because she and Bucky were friends okay and they deserve a cool fight scene together).

At one point, her leg gets injured badly. Her thrusters are no longer working so she can’t fly and she’s alone. Cue Steve.

By the skin of their teeth, they make it to Wanda, Steve setting Peggy on the floor. They keep Thanos’ army at bay while Wanda destroys the stones and Shuri continues working. The battle rages on, but they’re starting to get the upperhand.

A portal opens in the sky. Steve, Peggy and Wanda look out the window, for a moment terrified that Thanos caught up to Peggy.

It’s not Thanos.

Well, not just Thanos, anyway. It’s Strange and Peter and Tony and the Guardians of the Galaxy and a one-armed, half unconscious Thanos. Without the Infinity Stones, they were able to team up and defeat Thanos. Strange never had to give up the time stone.

Thanos’ army realizes what’s happened, and they begin to flee.

With the extra time they bought, Shuri manages to get the mind stone out of Vision’s head. Wanda destroys that one too, for good measure.

After, they’re cleaning up the remnants of the battle, tending to the dead, to everyone else’s wounds. Steve is stitching Peggy’s leg back up and caring for her. They both know she’ll heal soon enough without his help, but Steve is still buzzing with adrenaline and energy and needs something to do with his hands and they’re not about to let each other out of their sights anytime soon.

Together, they watch Vision and Wanda hold each other, whispering sweet nothings and words of comfort in each other’s ears.

“You kept him safe,” Peggy tells Steve, who looks up at her with pained eyes.

“He offered to sacrifice himself when we figured out that our best chance was to destroy the stone.”

“It’s what we all would have done,” she agreed, her fingers now carding through his hair. “But you found another solution.”

“I thought about losing you when I crashed the plane. About you going up with Tony and Strange and the kid and the fact that I’d probably never see you again and... I couldn’t let them become us.”

“Funnily enough... in a way, they have become us,” Peggy told him, flicking her eyes to the pair. 

Vision kissed the palm of Wanda’s hand, both of them still clinging to each other.

Steve tilted his head until he was able to do the same with Peggy’s palm, closing his eyes.

They won. 

Once Peggy’s leg is healed and they’ve dealt with the fallout of Thanos, Peggy makes good on her promise to take Steve dancing.

[captainchrisfics]

Endgame Interviews and Special News

About: As per the request of @rororo06 , Chris Evans and the (first person pov) reader are married and going through a round of press interviews, although the plot of Endgame isn’t the only thing they’re worried about spoiling (hope you don’t mind that addition to the plot!)

Words: 2,600

A/N: Featuring the lowest key hint at what could possibly be considered a spoiler, lines lifted straight from Chris and RDJ’s dialogue in The Avengers, and a reference to a quote from my favorite author, Jandy Nelson.

“So, this is potentially the last time we’ll see the two of you in the MCU. I’d imagine that feels pretty weird, huh?” The interviewer asked, sitting a little closer to us in her chair that looked so much comfier than the folding ones Chris and I have been sitting in all day. I felt bad for omitting her name from my memory. I really did try to remember, but this is our seventh question session of the day and there reaches a point where they all kind of blur together and you forget things. I made an effort to push the thought of exactly why forgetfulness was plaguing me way worse than usual out of my mind in the hopes that it wouldn’t accidentally slip from my mind to my mouth during this Q and A.

“I think I can speak for the both of us when I say that after shooting so many of these, getting back on set sort of feels like coming home,” Chris said with his Boston accent accentuating his vowels in a way I would’ve laughed at if it were just the two of us. “Granted, it’s in the same weird way a high school reunion does.” The interviewer giggled at that and tried to hide her blush behind her notes, but I’ve gotten pretty good at catching the flirty eyes women gave my husband and how their voices raised a couple octaves around him. I couldn’t blame her, Chris has always had this disarming charm about him and I was secure enough to know he wasn’t entrancing her intentionally. Chris intertwined his arm with the one I had sitting on his armrest, never knowing where the blurry boundary of my personal space ended and his began, and held my hand. “What do you think, babe?” he asked, turning his baby blues to me with his attention and perching one eyebrow higher than the other. I nodded in agreement and added, “We’ve watched them grow so much over the years, it feels more like sending our kid to college.”

The interviewer cleared her throat and turned to me, more serious now. “I mean, I grew up watching these movies over the last decade. Being one of the first female heroes in the series, you’re someone little girls everywhere have been looking up to for a long time now,” she said, eyes boring into mine the way they do when conveying the kind of admiration someone had when they saw you as a hero, despite the fact that all I did was pretend to be one. The appreciation people who could see a reflection of themselves in your mirror, one that the screen didn’t show them too often, wasn’t something I’d ever get used to. “Thank you,” I said earnestly, placing a hand over hers. “I can only take so much responsibility, though. The most amazing women in this industry from the cast to crew work on these movies, standing alongside them has been one of the biggest honors.”

Chris smiled down at me as I spoke and stretched to wrap his arm around me and I leaned into his side comfortably, giving into the giant magnet always pulling us together. “Your relationship has been something so many fans loved seeing develop on and off screen as well. Any clue as to how your characters will be affected by the Endgame?” she asked, tucking one index card behind another. I started twisting my wedding ring around my finger unconsciously, thinking about how crucial this franchise was in bringing us together for the first time in a while, with a new sense of nostalgia. It wasn’t a secret that our contracts were up and, as excited as we both were to move on to new projects, there was a bitterness sprinkled in with the sweet when I thought about hanging up our superhero costumes for the last time.

Chris was established as Captain America in his origin story, but I was a new addition on the set of The Avengers. Still, the role wasn’t as second nature to him then as it is now. He didn’t feel as though the shield felt right on his arm. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t attracted to Chris, but that’s not why I invited him back to my trailer after a particularly stiff scene, even though when he tells the story it’s because his blue eyes and high cheekbones ignited an irrevocable love for him within me and a burning need (not desire, need) to be in  his presence every moment I could. It was an exceptionally humid day, made worse by our heat-trapping supersuits, which grew into a sticky summer night spent sat in my trailer going over our lines for hours on end. There was something I noticed about the way Chris was carrying himself during our scenes together that was so unnatural, I just hoped to help him grow more comfortable with me so the camera wouldn’t pick up on whatever was bugging him next time we were on set.

We were at this part where everyone’s arguing, shouting over one another while Loki’s scepter glowed behind them. Chris and I were standing a little too close for comfort, sandwiched together by the counters in my thin trailer, which made it increasingly difficult to stay in character. “Why shouldn’t the guy let off a little steam?” I said with faux nonchalance in reference to Bruce’s growing temper, slapping my hand on his broad shoulder. Chris shook the script in his hand to stiffen the pages, staring at it intently before turning to me with a dramatically furrowed brow and tight jaw. He slapped my hand away, shoulders heaving as he breathed heavily with acted anger, and said, “You know damn well why so back off.” Chris took a small but threatening step toward me, looming just inches away. Although the harsh lines of his bone structure and intensity in his stare made Chris that much more intimidating, I tried to rely on my character’s own unabashed smugness as I rolled my shoulders back and crossed my arms, playing his challenger. “Oh,” I said, eyes dragging from the frown on his lips to meet those gorgeous blue eyes. I tried to step back, as the script directed, but my back hit the cabinet. “I’m starting to want you to make me,” I said lowly, conscious of my breath fanning across his face.

Instead of saying his next line, Chris threw his script down on the tabletop. He closed what was left of the little space between us by reaching out and caressing my cheek. His other hand slipped behind me, resting on the small of my back. Our chests rose and fell together, brushing against each other with every breath. His eyes searched mine, looking for permission. When his mouth opened and closed like a fish, trying and failing to find the words, I kissed him. It was slow at first, soft and uncertain as our mouths melded together, but before I knew it everything was on fire. I felt hot, every inch of skin Chris touched burned for his attention again. So did he, with the way his blood rushing turned his skin into a radiator. I wasn’t thinking about it as Chris pushed his hips into mine and sucked on the skin of my neck, leading me to the trailer’s sorry excuse for a mattress, but I read somewhere that when people fall in love they burst into flames, which I think is as true as the sky being blue.

Although, watching the movies now, it’s clear there was always some sort of tension between us if you know what you’re looking for. In the scenes we shot before that day, Chris stood straighter around me and puffed out his chest while I walked with an embarrassingly prominent sway in my hips. After though, even by the next morning, it was clear to everyone we’d grown more comfortable together. We found our rhythm and it showed, causing the directors to pursue an on-screen relationship between our characters. Chris and I didn’t complain too much about getting paid to do what we already were anyway.

“Would you agree?” Chris inquired, tracing the tip of his thumb along my shoulder to regain my attention. I nodded absentmindedly, focusing on trying to keep the blush in my cheeks to a minimum. My hand floated to where it rested on my stomach without me noticing while I was reminiscing, which I pulled away quickly and prayed no one would notice in the recording’s shoulders-up shot. “So I think we’ll see a new side of Steve,” Chris reiterated the point I’d missed. “At this point, I’d say he’s willing to stop at nothing to get her back after she got dusted in Infinity War,” he elaborated, moving the light line his finger brushed against my shoulder a little higher to draw shapes on my exposed skin, sending shivers down my spine. Chris either didn’t know or didn’t acknowledge the effect he was having on me as he kept talking without breaking the interviewer’s eye contact. “It’ll be interesting to see how he handles really losing everything for the second time now.”

She nodded solemnly and gave his words a minute to hang on suspense in the air before leaning toward me as she shifted her attention again. “Your chemistry is so clear on screen, you two get along effortlessly. I was wondering if it’s like that in real life as well?” I couldn’t stop myself from laughing at the assumption, knowing that suppressing my anger every time I had to pick up the socks Chris strewn all over the apartment since he refused to put them in the laundry each time he peeled off another pair sure as hell wasn’t even close to resembling effortlessness. “Sorry, it’s just… of course it isn’t,” I said, causing Chris to feign hurt as he pressed his hand to his heart and joked about me twisting the knife. “No, really. We’re real people. We fight over the stupidest things,” I insisted. Chris nodded, bringing up how the third world war almost broke out in our kitchen this morning after I discovered he finished my favorite cereal and put the box back. I fired back by mentioning the time he lost the screaming match over whether we should record the Patriots game or the premiere of my favorite show.

“At the end of the day, I love him,” I said, as Chris placed his hand over mine. “It’s like stumbling through the house when you’re sloppy drunk,” I paused to allow Chris the time to throw his head back in the laughter I knew was coming, the kind that pulled his hand to his pec as he sunk into his seat. “Really,” I implored once he finished. “Sometimes it’s dark and you have no clue where you’re going, but you figure it out. It isn’t perfect, you forget to take your makeup off, we fight, but you put on your pajamas and choose to land on your soft bed instead of the floor, which feels like exactly where you’re supposed to be. It’s where you fit in the world but you have to make it work, too.” I turned to Chris who met me with a quick peck on the lips. The interviewer cooed, calling that the sweetest thing she’d ever heard though her tone told me that wasn’t the case. “You wouldn’t think it was so cute if you poured your heart and soul out in your vows and she stood at the altar and compared you to a drunk night in front of your whole family,” Chris dramatically pinched in between his eyes to drive the joke home to the woman across from us, who genuinely believed him for a second until we both burst into laughter.

“I’m sorry on Marvel’s publicists’ behalf,” I apologized, wiping a tear from my eye. “They really should know better than to put us together for these things, being twenty-two movies deep and all.” The interviewer chuckled lightly and I could tell her patience was running thin as she tried to reign Chris and I back in. She asked the usual concluding question: if there was anything more we could say about Endgame without losing our jobs.

“Whatever you’re expecting, I guarantee you’ll still be surprised,” I promised. The interviewer raised her eyebrows and laughed, joking about how ominous that sounded. I just shrugged, letting my answer speak for itself in an attempt to be mysterious. And to avoid breaking my contract, spoiling the movie, and being sent to that training camp they made Ruffalo attend. Chris contemplated the question a little more than I did before saying, “It’s definitely an ode to the fans, which is my favorite thing about it. I’ll guarantee,” he said, shooting me a pointing look coupled with a knee-weakening smirk, “that they’ll love watching it as much as we loved making it.”

Chris thanked the interviewer and excused himself to the snack table while I shook her hand. We were only afforded short breaks between shots, which he intended to make the most of by stuffing as many grapes into his mouth as possible. I met him there and took a donut that disappeared in mere minutes. “You know what else I really loved making?” Chris whispered to me with incisive eyes aimed at my stomach, taking advantage of our few moments alone today to poke fun at me. “That’s such a weird thing to say,” I remarked, crinkling my nose at his comment. “I know,” he laughed, popping another grape into his mouth. Before swallowing he cocked his head toward me and said, “You know what’s worse? I actually almost said that.” I rolled my eyes as I giggled at him. “Imagine if that’s how everyone found out we’re pregnant,” I entertained the idea, laughing harder at the absurdity. I could just imagine the YouTube comments now. Maybe even an E! News headline that went something like: Chris Evans Spoils Pregnancy Instead of Endgame. Chris shrugged sheepishly, taking a step toward me as he wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me into his side. “I can’t help it, I’m just so excited,” he grinned down at me, staring at me with soft eyes. My gaze met his, making me melt from the inside out. “Me too,” I said quietly, wrapping my arm around his waist and bumping our hips together as we fused. “Don’t you think it’d be a fun way to tell everyone? Like hey guys, we’ve got some special news- here’s the link to our pregnancy announcement!” Chris tried to get me to give in. “It’s still way too early and-” I started, until the director cut me off.

“You two, back on set!” he called Chris and me back to our chairs to start the next round of interrogation. This time the interviewer was a young kid who gaped at us with a grin so big it looked like it ached. He was dressed as Captain America, which Chris kept insisting would be our baby’s first Halloween costume, so I knew he was about to be putty in this boy’s hands. “Don’t slip now,” I reminded him, shooting Chris a threatening look. His head ping-ponged between me and this kid who sat in a folding chair, legs dangling above the floor. “But-” he started, until I squeezed his hand a little harder than necessary to prove my point. “Fine, but this is harder than not spoiling the movie, you know?” Chris groaned playfully before walking toward his seat again, ready for another Endgame interview.

[ivory-haired-queens-blog]

Unpopular Opinions: Fandom Edition

Hey none of you asked but I’m here to deliver so here are some unpopular opinions for the fandoms I’m in. Spoilers, duh.

Marvel:

I don’t like Natasha. Or Steve.

Pepper Potts is a top.

As much as I love Loki, his death was nessicary in Infinity War.

Steve should have killed Bucky in Civil War. He was a threat, plain and simple.

I ship Ironstrange/Supremefamily.

Clint should have died in Infinity War.

I love Tony Stark with my whole heart. (Not an unpopular opinion but you needed to know that)

I’m not happy with the end of Endgame.

10 years in the making....for you to do Thor like that?

Not because he’s fat or because he’s dealing with trauma, that’s totally acceptable.

What’s not acceptable is them making Thor into the butt of the joke because he’s fat.

I love the Antman movies.

I’m totally not biased because I loved lost.

(I’m kinda biased)

Shuri is the best Marvel character and would beat Tony Stark in a battle of wits.

(I’m so gay I love her.)

With as many years as Marvel has had the MCU, I am disgusted at the lack of diversity within the movies.

Like it’s 2019 and we JUST got a female empowerment scene in Endgame.

Like I want a gay superhero.

(We have a disabled one thank god. Love you Stephen.)

And don’t give me that Valkyrie/Captain Marvel BS because they never blatantly stated or showed it in their movies.

I want an Asian superhero bitch.

A superhero who is Muslim/Islam/and religion besides Christian.

I think that, as much as I hate Natasha and Steve, they should have been the ones that Bruce first sees in Infinity War. I know it set up the whole “earth is closed today” sequence but it didn’t make sense and was OOC.

I love Stephen Strange and he’s never done a single thing wrong ever in his life I would die for this man.

I like MCU Peter Parker over the origional movie Spider-Man.

Fight me.

I also like the Tony Stark/Peter Parker better than the Uncle Ben/Peter Parker so @ me.

The 100

I don’t ship Bellarke that hard.

Like yes, I think they’re obviously being groomed to end up together. I know the show runners will make them official before the end of the series. I’m not mad about that, I just don’t really care to be honest. It’s like, too obvious.

But there are some cute bellarke scenes

What they did to Monty was bullshit but what they did to Jasper was worse.

I feel no guilt whatsoever in saying that I think that killing all of Mount Weather was what they should have done from the beginning.

Yes, even the kids. Because if you kill their leaders, the men and women will fight back. The colony would have been left with a handful of adults, and a bunch of kids if the origional plan had worked. This is doomed to fail and honestly just killing them all would be better than seeing them kill eachother for food, power, whatever. If that makes sense.

I think that Finn deserved to die.

I think that Murphey deserves the world.

Charlotte fucking killed Wells. Yes she’s young but she knows better than to kill someone. Maybe not kill her, but we all know that Clarke wouldn’t have banished her like she did Murphey. Clarke has a gender bias because Murphey didn’t do anything and she wouldn’t have punished Charlotte as hard because she’s a young girl. I rest my case

Even though what he did was bad and wrong, I don’t think Murphey should have been banished. He’s right. They were all compliant and even excited when he was being hung, but when it’s a little girl all bets are off.

Like Bellamy brought the whole hostage thing upon himself because he fucking tied a noose around Murphey’s throat.

Again, not that what Murphey did was right. He didn’t have to act like that. Jasper didn’t do anything to him.

Also this segment is getting long but the show writers and everyone else just casually forgot that Murphey was TORTURED? Hello? Are we not going to acknowledge that?

I shipped Clexa with my whole heart.

Another actually popular opinion: what they’ve done to Raven’s character this season is bullshit. Her only role is Abby’s moral compass. This is the same girl who shuttled to earth in a Tin Can. She’s better than this.

What the fuck??? Happened to??? Jordan???

Like Madi stabbed him

And then they proceeded to not talk about it for like four episodes and then casually mention it in passing like “oh he saved Pria that means he gets to live”

Like they set up his character to be really important this season.

But he’s not.

I think that Murphey/Emori is the best ship.

I also think that Either Murphey or Emori or Both are secretly double crossing the Primes. (This comes out before the finale of season six)

They didn’t have to do Onyia like that

The opening of season three is so weak that I actually stopped watching the show around that time (I’d been watching since the beginning of season two) because there’s just nothing there in the first like 10 minutes and I couldn’t do it.

Maybe I’m just impatient but it’s bad.

I think that Octavia did the best that she could with what she had available and I think that’s she’s not a bad person for what she did with the fighting pits/cannabalism. And I know that if Bellamy had been in her place, he would have eventually done the same.

Kane was a whiny bitch in season 5.

Why’d the kill Diyoza(I can’t spell) like that?

I liked Joesephine. It was really fun to see Eliza Taylor be able to get a new character in the show. Also props to her for that last episode with pretending to be Joesephine and being Clarke at the same time.

I called the dude being Gabriel from the first time I saw him you peasants.

Octavia’s redemption arc this season is beautiful.

They did....that.....to Kane. I’m angerey.

Lost In space

Not enough people watch this show. (The Netflix remake or the origional)

Seriously guys it’s a good show.

Absolutely nothing is wrong with it.

I love Don West with my whole heart.

I love Dr. Smith with my half heart.

I love the robot with my two hearts.

I love Penny Robinson with all the stars in the galaxy.

I love all of them okay.

There are no plot holes, no inconsistencies, no faulty science and anyone who says (or proves) otherwise is wrong.

It’s confirmed for a season two which should air in like the December-February time area.

It’s a Netflix show so you can binge the entire season in like a weekend.

Seriously watch it.

The Umbrella Academy

Five x Delores is weird.

Luther x Allison is illegal.

Klaus deserves all the push pops in the world.

The handler is hot.

The Comission killed Dave.

Luther is the most boring, Unorigional, straight white guy character I’ve seen in a long time. I hate him so much.

Allison is a queen but her character is brought down by her weird relationship with her brother.

Tbh if I was Allison you know I’d be telling my kids that I heard a rumor that theyd go the fuck to sleep. Like that’s a good thing. Idk maybe I’m just a sociopath.

Istanbul not Constantinople being played over a scene where five murders a squad of Commission people is the greatest cinematic masterpiece ever conceived by man.

“Where are you going” “to save the world” “oh is that all?” Iconic.

None of these are really unpopular but the show writers seem to think differently.

Diego has never done anything wrong in his life like yaaaasss bitch kill your brother at yo daddy’s funeral!!! Work!!!

PaTcH

AAaAHh

Big Theif - Mary is the perfect song to play over Klaus returning from Vietnam.

Will you love me, like you loved me in the January rain?

It’s up there with Goodbye July.

Speaking of Goodbye July....

Z Nation

Many people haven’t watched it

It’s like if The Walking Dead and Zombieland had a baby....and then the baby did a line of cocaine.

It’s wild.

Watching Garnet die ruined every sliver of hope I had in humanity.

I have a special place in my heart for this show because it’s the first show that me and my mom would stay up and watch the new episodes air every Friday. It brought us closer and I can’t thank the cast and show runners enough for this.

So maybe I’m biased, but you should watch it.

Having Murphey switch from being an anti-hero to a villain back to an anti-hero and then to a regular hero, amazing. Astonishing. The peak of human existence.

Even though he’s not entirely human.

What color is Murphey today? Is he pale, discolored, grey, blue, red? We don’t know!

Roberta Warren is the Black Goddess main protagonist that we deserve.

Addison Carver is a functional Bi.

10k is tragic backstory central but other than that, his character development is pretty lacking other than him persuing love interests.

None of these are really unpopular opinions but I doubt any of you have watched the show. It’s on Netflix. Watch it.

Oooooohhhhh George.

Georgia St. Clair could stomp me to death and my ghost would still want to fuck her.

Anyways I’m gay

God damn I have a lot of pent up Gay energy.

Murphey and Lucy have a realistic enstranged father/daughter relationship and it’s heartwarming.

And then they killed her off to save him.

Honestly if you name a character Murphey they can only be assholish bad boys with a good heart deep down sorry I don’t make the rules.

Also if you name a character Murphey I will love them with my whole soul.

I’m so mad they cancelled the show.

I’m infinitely more mad that they named that disgrace of a show Black Summer and claimed that it was a prequel....but it didn’t follow the same cast and had they not advertised it as a prequel I would never have guessed.

Black Summer gives totally opposite vibes than Z Nation does. I get that black summer is supposed to be the worst time that the zombie apocalypse ever had, with cannibals and no food, but it feels like s completely different show.

It’s like if The Walking Dead claimed that it is a prequel/occurs during Shaun of the Dead.

Like....no. They’re....no.

Anyway watch it it’s good.

Detroit: Become Human

Connor isn’t the best character.

This is an unpopular opinion post deal with it.

Markus has to be my favorite.

Honestly this game is so good and not even just graphics-wise.

It’s the same robotic sentience story we’ve been fed for years, but this time it’s from the Android’s perspective and this time all they want is to be free. That’s it.

I fucking hate North.

Hank is literally if Rick from Rick and Morty were serious.

The only correct way to play Connor is to walk the thin line between deviant and regular A.I. Without leaving out Hank. The correct thing to do is make Conner deviant at Jericho.

The only correct way to play Kara is to protect Alice with every fiber of your being. Meanwhile, get close to her. Do not get caught, even if that means dissappointing her.

The only correct way to play Markus is to lead a peaceful revolution. Also tell North to fuck off.

The border patrol guy who either gets Kara and Alice caught or knowingly lets Androids cross the border is the best character. Forget about Markus, this guy sees either “oh fuck androids are killing people, maybe we shouldn’t let this one cross the border” or “Androids just want to be free and are peacefully fighting for this. Let this one and her daughter through.” I love him.

LUTHER.

YES DADDY.

anyway.

Let Out The Bear He Just Wants To Say Hi :)

Even though I think Conner is overrated by the fandom, I do like him.

But he’s not a pure innocent cinnamon roll either.

It depends on how you play, but he has really violent options so stop the “He wouldn’t harm a fly” attitude.

But he is cute.

The home screen for the game is revolutionary (no pun intended) and I hope future game follow suit in making the first impression of the game something cool.

Stealing clothes/money/the fence cutters is literally okay.

Also if you put Kara in white hair you can die.

If in your first actual play through you got the Kara lives at the recycling plant ending but Alice dies, you can die too.

I’ve never actually seen the steal money and go to motel option play out because it’s stupid, especially if you don’t steal clothes. Like that’s begging to be caught.

Stranger things

Billy Hargrove is bad and just because he’s abused does not make what he does okay.

Harringrove is gross and I’m gay so my opinion counts as double.

That being said, there are some really cute fics about Harringrove and I can see the appeal of “good boy falls for mysterious bad boy with a dark past and trauma”

I’ve said I’m gay this whole post because I say it a lot, but I don’t like actually labeling myself but I like girls and boys and everything in between and I say I’m gay kinda as a joke when girls are hot.

That being said...

Steve Harrington calling himself Daddy made me feel things.

Strange things.

Haha get it I’m making a joke to distract you from the daddy part.

Steve Harrington is a good person now, but he was still an asshole before and he can still be criticized for his past.

I used to be hardcore Jancy but after season three I feel like Nancy needs and deserves a break from boys so she can figure out herself and who she is now and what she wants to do without the weight of boys and boyfriends constantly around her.

That being said i still don’t like Nancy because she was flirting/slept in the same bed with Jonathan whilst obviously having feelings for him while she and Steve were still a thing. It’s not cheating but to me it’s close enough to raise red flags.

Robin is perfect in every way.

I don’t like Jonathan. He’s creepy in s1, fine in s2, but then is s3 he doesn’t do anything to or about his male bosses when Nancy is being made fun of because she’s a woman.

Seeing Nancy’s class priveledge/Jonathan’s male priveledge clashing was so cool tbh

Elmax > Mileven > Lumax

Jim Hopper, with all his faults, is still a caring dad.

Plus him threatening Mike made me laugh so hard sksksksks

Steve Harrington deserves the world and then some.

Low key I really want s4 to give in insight on his family life.

I also want him to get an apartment with Robin.

Robins cute tbh but for half the season I though she was a Russian spy. I guess I was wrong.

Mrs. Wheeler shouldn’t sleep with billy (not that she can now) because it’s wrong, but the reason she wanted to is because her husband is so boring and she gave up on her dreams to be his perfect housewife. She wanted a challenge with Billy. Instead, she should leave her pushover of a husband and find someone better.

Anyway Steve Harrington deserves the world.

Yeah okay hate me whatever.

[luxury-loki]

Endgame Chat

!!spoiler free part!!

Hey everyone, this is part one of my full Endgame review, hope you enjoy! My blog is now officially no longer spoiler free (I mean it’s been a week, if you haven't seen it by now then wyd???). However, everything will still be tagged with ‘#endgame spoiler’ and ‘#endgame spoilers’. If you do not want to see any spoilers, PLEASE block these from your feed if you haven't already, consider this your only warning! I will not be taking the blame for anything you have spoiled for you from this blog from now on.

thanks babies,

Lara xxx

I fully have no words to describe this film. It was such a satisfying end I barely even knew I needed, and I have so much I wanna talk about, so strap in cus this is gonna be a long ride.

I think I'm just going to do the same layout as my infinity war posts, with one for character arcs and the there for memorable events/moments.

Let’s start with characters. I’m going to talk mostly about the main six, and anyone else just a brief few things.

Thor

“I’m still worthy!”

I have been seeing alooooot of hate for the way Endgame handled Thor’s character, and I have to completely disagree. We’ve become so comfortable with seeing Thor as the most powerful Avenger, the one who was fine when his mother died, father died, brother, best friend etc that it was crucial to see that this was never actually the case. Thor’s decent into alcoholism, obesity and depression showed he was never really okay with everything that’s happened, he only bottled it inside till it all became too much, and having it healed by a chat with his mother was the perfect way to reach his arc. His relationship with his mother has been so overlooked by the marvel fans (me included) and it was so special to see this heart warming moment between them. When he said “I love you Mum.” to her my heart BURST and my eyes suddenly got very teary, not to mention the added heartbreak that he knew it was the day she was going to die. Overall, although yes, It was comical to see him in this state, that was not the only point to his storyline, it was about seeing a more emotional side to his character, a side which proves he isn't just a ‘tough guy’ who can handle the force of a star and wield lightening. He just as emotionally unstable as the rest of us, and needed his family back (both blood and The Avengers), and a reminder that he was still worthy of Mjolnir to set him back on the right path again to greatness. 

His passing of his kingship of Asgard to Valkyrie was also important. Although the Thor franchise had the most perfect beginning and ending, starting with Thor becoming king of Asgard when he was childish and irresponsible and ending with him becoming King when he was actually prepared, the title of king was still not something he chose, and with Valkyrie there to be extremely capable of the role and eager to take it, it makes sense now to allow Thor to go on to actually live the life he wants, and become the true hero his mother tells him to be. I feel he suits the role of a hero who fights the bad guys more than a sensible noble king. I desperately hope he is in Guardians 3, as I think a Quill/Thor bromance is about to blossom beautifully. 

Natasha 

“I used to have nothing, then I got this family.”

I did not see Natasha’s death coming, like not from a million miles away and it BROKE ME. I actually cried at it more the second time I went to see it. We as an audience forget how she really has no one except The Avengers, they are her one true family, and this is emphasised in the scene on Vormir when she explains how she didn't even know her own father's name. Natasha has always been great in every film she's been in, and has been integral to the development of the MCU, however her role in Endgame was something else. Seeing how broken she was over the snap and seeing how she felt it was her responsibly alone to keep track of the events happening across the whole planet shows how seriously she takes her role as an Avenger and how much she wants to earn the title. I’ll talk more about the scene on Vormir in my next post, but it was really something else. The fact it was Clint she goes with was so important, her best friend. The line from him in the guardians’ ship “this is a long way from Budapest” was such a great call back to the first avengers film, and reminds us of the long history the two share. 

When it was obvious one of them was going to die I knew it was going to be her, which is very telling of what I internally think of her character. She would never have let Clint die whilst he had a wife and children at home. Natasha sacrificed herself so that half of the universe could survive, as did Tony. Everyone alive in the MCU owes their life to her, and that is an incredible legacy for her character to leave. She will be desperately missed, but her new film coming out, despite (I assume) being a prequel will be a welcome look into her life again.

RIP Nat x

Clint

“I wish I could tell her we won.”

Opening the film on Clint losing his family was a clever way of reminding the audience of the loss experienced by everyone in Infinity War, not just the characters we followed. It was also interesting to see Clint’s darker side. On his mission to rid the world of the criminals who avoided dusting whilst innocent lives were taken, he murders what we can only assume is hundreds, showing the extreme anger and sadness he was feeling over the loss of his wife and children. It is Tony later in the film who says to Pepper “we got lucky.” in reference to the fact they still had each other, Clint had the least luck, losing three children and his wife, we can understand why he turned to such eratic violence.

Once reunited with The Avengers he continues to have a huge role in the film, especially driven by both his desire to bring back his family, and also avenge Natasha’s death which he most likely feels very guilty for. The moment when they all return form the quantum realm except her, and Clint is seen crying is very emotional, and his role in the fight against Thanos is not one he takes lightning. Clint even carries the Infinity Gauntlet for a large proportion of the final fight scene, we thank him for his incredible service! Endgame was definitely Clint’s film. He had a big part in many of the most emotional/nail biting scenes, and dint just spend the whole thing under the mind control of the main villain! Really glad he got to shine through and find his spotlight, and I can't wait for what the Hawkeye series will have to offer.

Banner

“I put the brains and the braun together.”

Okay so when I first saw the Doctor Hulk combo I HATED IT. I remember turning to my friend in the cinema and just going “I hate it I hate it I hate it get it away from me” but then by the end of the film I won't lie, I loved it. I love that he now has the best sides of both banner and Hulk, the funny/smart/kind side, put together with the incredible strength of The Hulk actually makes for a pretty powerful avenger, even standing up to Thor at one point when he asks him to take his hands off him. Banner had some great comedy bits, including when he makes fun of Scott when the kids don't wanna take a picture with him, and the hilarious part when he punches the taxi in New York, but also some important emotional roles. His upset when he discovers Natasha is dead is evident, explaining how he misses her to Steve later in the film, and this is definitely used as a drive for what he goes on to do. He sacrifices his life and uses the gauntlet to bring everyone back, BANNER DID THAT. Can we start appreciating him more now???? THANKS. No but seriously this was a very important moment for him, and was like the finale of the great character arc we have seen over the last 3 films he has been in. In Ragnaork he struggles with his relationship with the Hulk, still being unable to control when he changes from Hulk to Banner, stuck in either when least convenient, nd always under the control of Hulk. In Infinity War, it’s almost like the two are so connected, and hulk is so aware of Banner’s experience that he begins to control when he doesn't want to come out, rather than when he does. The two are much more like a duo, understanding of each other but stilll not necessarily working together. in Endgame they finally merge, forming a mutual relationship where each benefits wonderfully from the other. I’m really happy for Banner reaching this state. I don't know if his character will appear in anymore MCU films to come, but his character arc has certainly reached a satisfying end, and I believe, despite the sadness of losing Natasha, he has a reached a place of peace and happiness.

Tony

“I love you 3000.”

THE BIG SAD. Still can't believe he is dead. The corner stone of the MCU, the man who made it all happen, how can we ever thank Tony Stark enough? short answer: we can’t, but I'll damn well try. Tony Stark has had perhaps the greatest character arc of them all. Growing from being an arrogant, selfish, greedy businessman who sold weapons and funded wars now sacrifices his life for the entire universe, despite knowing he will leave behind his child and wife alone. It is so painful watching the film for the second time, seeing how desperate he is to not lose what he’s got (Morgan), knowing the whole time what is to happen a the end, yet also a sense of pride emerges. It is heartbreaking to know he will in fact die, but also incredible to know that even despite all his personal feelings, he will always put his family, The Avengers and the rest of the beings in the universe before him because THAT is who Tony Stark is. it doesn't matter who he once was, he has grown beautifully as a character, and has the hero’s death he properly deserves. When  Pepper said “you can rest now.” to him I absolutely BAWLED. very good. Awful and painful, but very good.

Also just Tony as a dad, although we didn't get to see it for very long, was a great position to see his character in. He keeps that classic Stark sense of humour “go to bed or I'll sell your toys” whilst also it is immensely clear to see how much being a father has matured him. Although in reality, he is not only a father to Morgan, but Peter too, and choosing to have him die in front of him was truly a STAB to the gut, but also important I think for Peters development now. He will have to go it alone now, without the support of his guardian, which will be a good way to ensure his character can grow independently. Stark was clearly torn up over Peter’s death in a way only a father would, and Peter im sure will carry this bond with him for as long as he lives. I hope to see Morgan and Peter connect in Far From Home, that would be really special, and the perfect way of carrying Tony’s memory.

Thank you to Tony, and RDJ for the incredible 11 years in the MCU, we just could no be here without you, you can rest now, but know you are in our hearts forever.

RIP Tony x

Steve

“You gonna tell me about her?”

“No, I don't think I will.”

Guys okay so I cried at Tony and Nat’s death, but NOTHING got me like Steve’s final scene let me TELL YOU, but first we will start earlier on. 

Steve has a very classic role int he first half on the film, comforting Nat when she needs it, helping Tony, devising the plan etc but he really shines in his trip to New York, the final battle scene, and of course his finale. 

The scene where he fights himself was really great, and the lines “I can do this all day” “yeah I know” was AMAZING! Not to mention the iconic callback to the elevator scene with the added ‘hail hydra’. The Russo Brothers did an excellent job in ensuring the revisited all the best parts of cap’s time in the MCU in Endgame for sure. But, the best bit came in the final fight scene WHEN HE LIFTED MJOLNIR. I SCREAMED. I genuinely don't think I have ever been so excited in an MCU film in my life, when the hammer came flying through the air I thought at first it was going to be Captain Marvel (which would have been cool too) but when it was him I YELLED. I simultaneously couldn't believe what my eyes were seeing whilst also thinking it was the most obvious thing ever. OF COURSE Steve can lift the hammer, of course he is worthy. The added line of Thor saying: “I knew it!” was just perfect too, with their mid-battle banter yet again “you have the little one, I'll take the big one.” much like in Infinity war with “I see you’ve copied my beard!”. Another great moment was of course the: “Avengers... assemble.” which I also absolutely screeched at. INCREDIBLE CINEMA.

But, despite all this excitement and incredible action Steve’s character got, his best part in the film by far was his final goodbye to Sam and Bucky. When he left to put the stones back something in me knew he wasn't going to come back, and although it was sad, it was also relieving in a way. To know he must be going to find Peggy, and to know he would finally “get some of that life” he had always wanted, and find happiness with her was beautiful. When the camera panned round to him on the bench, it was extremely clever to (as he was older and more shrunken) depict him looking the exact way pre-serum Steve did in The First Avenger, with a similar jacket and smaller frame. At first I thought it somehow was younger him, and It was only seeing his face that made me realise that was not the case. By this post I was properly crying. Like tears streaming down my face hiding my sobs crying. His passing of the shield onto Sam was incredibly moving, and before he left to the see when Bucky and him joke about not doing anything stupid whilst he’s gone was also a perfect goodbye. When he went to put his hand on Sam’s and it showed he had a wedding ring, I honestly couldn't even see through my tears, and that final scene. That final scene. The camera panning through the window, the soft music, the slow turning of the camera to reveal Peggy dancing with Steve, I let out what I think is the ugliest noise I have ever made. a full blown SOB. I was actually uncontrollable, the lights went up in the cinema and I just kept going, still crying a good five minutes later. It was an ending that, now it’s happened, seemed so obvious, yet I never saw it coming. Of course The Avengers’ saga had to end that way. The beauty of the ending was that it wasn’t really an ending at all, but a beginning. Yes, Steve has reached the end of his time as an Avenger, but he was only just starting his true, long life he has ahead of him. The perfect finale.

CONCLUSION

I loved this film. I think it did wonders for all the main characters, and to know I know live in a world with no more Avengers films to come is devastating, but I'm just happy I was alive to see them happen, and to be a part of this wonderful community.

Thanks for reading if you made it this far! Check back next Thursday for my post on storylines/events!

Lara x

[mikenips]

Pinheads

“What the fuck are you doing back here?  You aren’t even working tonight.”  One of the other managers at Bowlero, the new bowling alley and venue, says to me.

“I’m playin’ tonight.”  We all wish we had known the Stools were doin’ a live album recording down at OLL tonight before we booked it though.  Rae said Chuck told her before I picked her up that they don’t play till midnight.  So the goal is to rush the sets so we can get there in time for their set.

“That explains the war paint on the eyes.”  Chip, the mechanic that once got fired as a carny, says as he spits dip into a coffee cup.  “Ya know ya got some jeans with those holes though Mike?”  Damn.  That’s pretty clever.

My mom’s side of the family is down at lane one.  And my dad’s side is hangin’ in the lounge.  Even my uncle from New Mexico is in town for the holidays.  Jordan is setting up the kit.  Sound checkin’ the violin.  Drew walks into the storage room that doubles as a green room for gigs.  Me and Greg the bartender are hittin’ a vaporizer before I get on stage.  We play first.  “You see how Drew walked in here man?  He walked up like he owns this bitch!”

And the scene really does own this bitch.  I’m the bar manager at twenty one.  Drew just started training to bartend.  Dom works the front desk here and there.  Everyone else askin’ if we can pull some strings to get them hired or booked.  Just waitin’ on Sugar Tradition.  Gotta make sure they don’t get carded.  The kids are still in high school.  And we’re eighteen up.  Like the owners would really care though.  They got history too.  One of ‘em owning the Garden Bowl.  The other is one of the top lawyers in Oakland County.  Used to own the Falcon Club in Hamtramck in the nineties.  Actually even was Johnny’s lawyer to get Outer Limits their liquor license.

We open with “Haunted House.”  I’m fuckin’ baked.  And already forgettin’ the lyrics.  That shot of jezy Greg fed me probably didn’t help.  Nobody is here yet besides my family.  A few members of the Hand.  And some Royal Oakies waitin’ on lanes that don’t understand what the fuck is happening.  We’re botchin’ even our classics.  At least the Oakies are gettin’ a real weird show.

Yelp into a drone cover of “Real Cool Time” as Jordan saws away at his violin behind me.  Antonio rollin’ across the stage in front of me.  Glad they got in alright.

Fuck it.  We got a show to get to tonight.  “This is gonna be our last one.”  A piece of glitter falls into the corner of my eye.  “It’s about when it’s five am.  You’re blacked out.  Shirtless.  Pissin’ on the side of a 7-11.  Smokin’ a spliff.  Shotgunnin’ a tall boi.  If you could all raise your drinks.”  Rip through “Miller High Life” before boltin’ for a cig while Sugar Tradition sets up.

“Dude!”  Jordan says to me as we load some gear into the car.  “I think that was the worst set we ever played.”

Dee comes up behind us.  “What are you talkin’ about?  That’s the best part about Just Guys Being Dudes.  There’s no bad sets.  Every set is it’s own experience.  I really dug it.  The owner was behind me and Rae vibin’ too.”

Take a drag.  “Thanks Dee.  That means a lot to me.”

Walk back inside.  Didn’t even realize how many people had showed up.  Sean’s dad, my old high school film teacher, is here.  Still doesn’t know he showed my dick at the student film show at the end of the year.  Even fuckin’ Ian Ruhala showed his bitch ass.  There’s no way that was coincidental.  Not when his girlfriend’s sister is performing with Zilched at the Stools show.  Joey’s gonna lose his shit when he gets here from the wedding.

“That was sick Michael!”  My coworker Reagan says to me.  “Wanna celebrate by doin’ a shot of Jager with me?  You don’t even gotta give me a drink ticket.”  I’m about to be trashed tonight.  What am I talkin’ about?  I already am.

“Why not?  I’m gonna need seven shots of jezy too though.”

“Wakin’ up I got a nothin’ to do!”  Sugar T kicks into one of their many rippers.

Cy, my GM, walks over to me.  “These guys are really good.”  I can barely make out her words over Kevin’s spastic style of jazz drumming.  “They’re like a psychedelic Mudhoney.”

“Yeah.  They’re also only seventeen too.  Don’t tell the managers though I booked some minors.”

She laughs.  “Nobody should be that good at that young of an age.  Do they have a CD?”

“Nah.  We put out their debut album on the cassette label I’m helping run though.”

“What the fuck are you kids doing making cassettes again?”

“Cause they’re fuckin’ sick!  You wanna hear this fuzz on something just as fuzzy.  We don’t wanna clean this noise up!”

Walk back to center stage.  Jake is in the corner with Evan.  Owen layin’ on the floor in front of the couch.  Crossed the border for this night.  On the couch next to Rae is Joey Molloy goin’ hard to Sugar Tradition’s set.  Gotta love Joey.  Nobody goes as hard at a show as good ol’ Joey Molloy.  Bleached tufts of hair whippin’ through the air the same way their brain whips back and forth in the skull.  Everyone takes the Polish, purple nectar.  Jeżynówka.  A Hamtramck staple.  A little piece of home all the way out here.

Joey walks in, still in his suit, and helps Drew wheel three cabs into the crammed lounge as I meet Antonio at the merch table.  They spent over a mill on this remodel.  And the Hand is about to shatter all the windows here when they hit their first note.  This will be the first and last time they let a stoner metal band in here.  TJ stoned as fuck on the floor testin’ out the Juno.  Sean, equally as baked, clicks open the briefcase synth he made.

“Yoo Antonio.  Whenever you guys are ready I’ll take you to the office so the manager can cut you a check.  You just gotta fill out some tax forms.”

“Shit…  This is like a legit gig then?”

We weave through the overfilled lounge.  Drunks and stoners attempt to file towards the stage.  BO and fuzz forcin’ the yuppies to wait for their lanes elsewhere.  Tonight, this bitch is ours.

Paperclips and loose change vibrate their way off the desk in the office as the Hand strikes their first drone.  “Wait…  Kev,”  Antonio spins in the desk chair.  “What’s my social security number?”

“How the fuck should I know?”

“You guys don’t know your social security numbers?  How?”

“Dude.  We’re in high school.  We’ve never had to use ‘em before.”

“Honestly,” my coworker cuts in.  “We don’t really need the W-9.  If you take it with you and bring it back in a couple days it’s probably fine.  But I really don’t give a shit if you do.”

Head back to the bar.  All the freaks headbang in unison to Joey’s screams before Drew rips into a solo.  Greg hands over two shots before I even flag him down.  “I knew Drew was gonna shred because he never talks about his band.  The quiet ones always shred.  Good job putting this together Mike.  Not a huge drinking crowd.  But I’ll take a chill night.  Gettin’ stoned to some chuggin’ bands whenever it comes.”

Or at least I think that’s what he said.  I can’t hear over the riff.  Hail the fuckin’ riff!  Wrappin’ it just before midnight.  Nobody says goodbye to each other before we all dip.  It’s every man for himself.  Drag racin’ down I-75 to get to OLL.  Somewhere in the night Caveman Woodman is yellin’ about the Stools.  Tellin’ folks to fuck off if they think rock n’ roll is dead.

Walk into Outer Limits greeted by the familiar unbearable humidity of a crowd of familiar faces.  Not a single face you don’t recognize.  Greeted with a free Stroh’s and shot of Hornito’s courtesy of Johnny.  Kid Infinity on the stoop of the stage.  Documenting the entire night on camera.  208.  The Long Stairs.  The rest of the Waterheads.  Everyone from the Bowlero show there too.  Sweat gluing bodies together as flesh meets flesh.  “This one’s about a spooky dream Will had!”  KQ shouts into the mic as Chuck uses his already soaked shirt to wipe sweat from his forehead.  As Will’s screeching guitar bends, cuing “Black Fly Stew.”  Two step tune off their latest seven inch from Third Man Records.  Jack White may be a prick.  But he sure puts out some good ass music.

This time I’m not gonna concuss myself on Joey Molloy’s eye socket.  They speed and slop their way through their discography.  Dig into some tracks Will claims are older than some of us.  Kirk recording every second through the soundboard to be put out on Chuck’s cassette label Painter’s Tapes.  “How does two more sound?”  KQ asks after finishing up a version of “Q-Nails” that’s half the length of the studio version.  But still has all the original notes. Bodies make their way off the concrete ground to their feet.  Stomachs cramp from downin’ Stroh’s.  Lungs attempt to catch their breath.  Jake yells back to ‘em “Eat shit Mike Duggan!”  We don’t need no curfew.  Unplug us and we’ll scream louder.

Mikey of the Waterheads discusses Sigmund Freud on the patio while we all pass joints to each other.  Never give those lungs a break.  Kyle of 208 passes out Remove Records t-shirts.  Tells us none of us need to pay for ‘em.  But we all force money into his hands.  “This is what the scene is about man.”  My words come out half coherent.

“Exactly!  That’s why I’m so glad me and Shelby came here from Florida.  This is what music should be about!  Community.  Doing it for each other.  Fuckin’ being there!  Cause without each other, none of what’s goin’ on is possible.  We’re like one big, happy, chaotic family!”

Jake punches my shoulder at the bar.  Radiating the energy of the Bananas in Pajamas.  A loose and excitable toddler ready to play.  We each get a shot of jezy.  “You here anything yet about HMF Nips?”

“Nah.  I saw they ‘leaked’ some of the lineup.  But it was all like Hala.  Legume.  Who Boy.  The indie bands ya know.”

“See.  And that’s what’s fucked man!  They don’t fuckin’ get it like we do.  We’re out here every fuckin’ night playin’ these joints.  We’re all at every show for each other.  They make one appearance a month.  Half the time not even in Hamtramck.  They don’t support each other.  They’re in it for the clout!  And fuckin’ Who Boy gets picked before any of us?!  That’s fucked up man.”

“It is dude.  But don’t worry so much about it.  I’m sure it’ll all pan out for us.  Cause we get it.  And they don’t.  You wanna come over to my place after?  Make some pancakes or some shit?”

“Oh heeeellll yeah!  Pancakes at Belmont.  I’ll rally the troops.  We gettin’ trashed tonight!”

As if we aren’t already.  Rip through a fifty pack of whip-its in twenty minutes.  Sittin’ around eatin’ pancakes at three in the morning.  Listenin’ to the 13th Floor Elevators as Joey tries persuadin’ everyone into watchin’ Pirates of the Caribbean.  “Dead Man’s Aaaaasssss…” his whipped voice whispers to every single one of us individually.

Jake does his first popper as if he’s huffed it before.  Panicking in the barstool in my living room.  “I’m sweaty.  My head hurts.  And my face is hot, man.  My face is hot!”  Before locking himself in the bathroom with a sealed fifth of tequila.  We continue to chainsmoke in the house I rent.  No mention of not smokin’ in my lease.  Dunkin’ chocolate chip pancakes in a bowl of syrup.  He re-emerges from the bathroom.  Quarter of the bottle now inside him.  Or possibly in my toilet.  “Rae.  You gotta finish this.  I can’t do it.”

Owen spits up on Giovanna while tryin’ to rush to the bathroom.  Attempts to wipe the bile off her knee before returning to the cool tile floor around the toilet to sleep for the night.  Jake arguing with me and Rae about ordering him an Uber home.  “You’d fuckin’ love it if I crashed on your futon Nips.  You’d fuckin’ love ordering me an Uber home wouldn’t you Rae?”

“Jake dude.  I don’t know what you want from me man.  Your car is at Evan’s anyways.”

“I just wanna shit on my toilet!”

So eventually he consents.  Tells Rae he’ll Venmo me the ten bucks she spent on him cause he’s “Venmoed Michael Nipples before.”  Even though I’ve never had one.  Yells back to us with the passenger door open “what’s its name?”  As he struggles to crawl into the whip.

And as Rae and I go to sleep.  My phone buzzes with three texts from the drunk Toehead.  “Uh oh…”

“Help…”

“We listenin’ to Dough Boyz!”

Fuckin’ idiot.  Pinhead.  That’s what we all are though.  Or at least what we pretend to be.

[veliseraptor]

Just wondering how you feel about Loki in Endgame. Personally I liked the Loki parts but I also felt like I kind of got robbed of some amazing character moments between Thor and Loki. But I also feel like this is a good setup for the Loki series and for GOTG3. Since 2012 Loki has the Tesseract now, I see him jumping through space and time during the series and hopefully in GOTG3 he somehow meets up with present day Thor. I think the future MCU has the potential to be really interesting.

I went back and forth on answering this because I am really trying not to be too negative, but It’s My Blog and I Can Complain If I Want To, the tag is #endgame negativity. 

My initial response here was “what Loki in Endgame” because…honestly? There was the brief shot of him in the Dark World cell, and the maybe five minutes of cumulative screen time in 2012 (which, don’t get me wrong, were very good for me, personally, honestly the 2012 stuff was some of my favorite bits of the entire movie), but outside of that…nothing.

I definitely do think that the 2012 Loki noping out with the Tesseract is probably our set up for the Disney+ series - I don’t think main timeline Loki is ever coming back (I don’t think the Tesseract is capable of traveling through time). 

There are two main issues I had with the question of Loki in Endgame: one has to do with characterization retcon, and the other has to do with lost opportunities, and okay, I lied, the third has to do with the complete lack of resolution between Thor and Loki and the fact that Thor is the only one of the so-called Trinity who doesn’t get anything back. 

Yes, Tony dies, but before he does gets reunited with Peter; Steve, whatever you think about it, gets his dance with Peggy and Sam and Bucky returned. Thor…?

But the other two might actually be bigger problems for me. The first one - characterization retcon - has to do with the fact that if the Loki we’re going to have moving forward is 2012 flavor Loki - we’ve just lost four years+ of character development that culminated in his big hero moment in Ragnarok/Infinity War. That’s all just…gone, and we’re back to the earlier era Loki who hasn’t gone through that journey - and that journey has been one of my absolute favorite things about Loki’s character arc. 

I love Avengers-era Loki - he was the version I first fell in love with, actually. But I have loved watching him grow and change, also, and claw his way up out of the pit he fell into (literally!!!), and we…lost that. Which leaves me still mad about the redemption-equals-death bullshit that cuts off his character arc just at the moment where it could get really interesting.

(Yes, I will keep banging that drum forever. Or at least until people stop doing it so much.)

The second, then, is the lost opportunities - fandom has been talking since the release of Infinity War about all the weirdness in the opening scene when it comes to Loki, and that went…nowhere. And I don’t think it is ever going to go anywhere, either. So there was all this set-up and “the sun will shine on us again” and…nothing? No payoff? At all? 

Well okay then. 

And then…yeah, back to the lack of resolution, which can be summed up partly by “we never got that god damn hug.” You could argue that Thor and Loki’s arc ended in Ragnarok and we don’t need more than that - which could be true if it weren’t for the fact that in the next movie in the first ten minutes Loki is brutally murdered in front of Thor’s eyes and he ends up sobbing into his chest as the ship disintegrates around him. 

That’s where we leave their relationship. Probably forever. Which goes back to Tony’s reunion with Peter, and Steve’s reunion with Sam, Bucky, and Peggy, and Thor…going off with the Guardians, who he barely knows? Mmm.

Related to this - the fact that Thor never mentions Loki by name. (Or Heimdall, for that matter.) There is no direct acknowledgment in Endgame of that pretty significant event. It just…doesn’t come up? Which has happened before (witness the lack of aftermath in both The Dark World and Age of Ultron) but that doesn’t mean I’m letting it go here. Thor is grieving, clearly, and traumatized - but that grief isn’t made explicit or personal. 

Loki is present in 2012, but otherwise, despite his inclusion in the “Avenge the Fallen” posters, he doesn’t exist, even as one of the lost. Which, I have to say, seriously rankles.

[dramaqueeenamby]

Waves {drabble}

A/N: Well. Not too happy with this one. It was supposed to be based on @petit-funsize (WHAT IS YOUR NEW @ MA’AM) request for additional scenes of these two while Summer was pregnant, and while this does tackle that.....meh.

Words: 1.5K 

masterlist

Warnings: None

TAGLIST: @kpizzletrash @letsshamelessqueen-m @forbeautyandlife @90sinspiredgirl @honeyybey @amethyst-dreams-and-candy-canes @hello-therree @brittyevans @afro-royalty @periodtcevans @babygirlofwakanda @ERATOTALLES @blackandnoir @tntnv @chaneajoyyy @missyperle 

WAVES

“What about this?”

“Christopher.”

“It gets pretty decent mileage.”

“Christopher!”

“I’m thinking red.”

“Sir, if you do not stop this nonsense.”

“Since when is planning nonsense?”

“Baby, you’re talking about getting cars for children who aren’t even born yet!”

“I fail to see the problem.”

“You-“ Summer closed her eyes and shook her head. “How about we focus on things that we actually need now and not 16 years from now.”

He scoffed. “Excuse me for trying to be a good papa. Didn’t know that was a problem.”

“You’re going to be an amazing papa, Christopher without spending a ridiculous amount of money on cars that they won’t be able to use for over a decade.”

His eyes widened with excitement. “What about the little motorized ones?” Summer stopped in the middle of her brushing to turn toward him. “Come on. For their mobility!”

“I am seriously about to throw this brush at your big ass head.”

“I’m not the one who keeps stretching bonnets.” He quickly ducked as she lived up to her threat. “Now what did that solve?”

Summer threw her head back and groaned. One hand going to her back and the other to her stomach, she rubbed her growing belly.

At seven months, she was feeling every bit of her pregnancy. The twins were forever moving around, playing tag with her bladder, and reacting to every single thing that they heard. They were especially active when they heard herself or Christopher talking, and since relaying his entire day, play by play, to her stomach, became his new favorite pastime, sleeping was something that happened scarcely.

“I’m sorry.” Summer opened her eyes and immediately smiled at the soft blue eyes and childlike pout. “I’m just...so damn excited.”

“That you just can’t hide it?” She giggled at his scowl, his hand moving on top of hers. Sure enough, showtime. “Speaking of hiding, can you please tell Thing 1 and Thing 2 to take a nap or something?”

“Leave my children alone, you bully,” he defended, his other hand going to feel on her ass. He was obsessed with her pregnancy curves. “They’re getting restless in there.”

“Trust me, the feeling is mutual.” A hard kick let her know that her comment was not appreciated. “What! I wanna meet you both just as badly as your dumbass sperm donor.”

“Wow. I feel so loved.”

“You should.” She turned around in his arms, her pregnant belly forming a sort of barrier between them, prompting him to rest his hands on her hips. Christopher was big in contact. “I don’t just have children for anybody. What kind of woman do you take me for?”

“A fine ass one.” She busted her smile as he kissed on the side of her neck. “And mine.”

“Asterisk.”

“Shut up.”

Christopher eventually allowed Summer to finish getting ready, and 30 minutes and a sleeked down top bun later, she was ready to go out.

It was her first outing in about two weeks as she’d grown frustrated with the constant sneaking and following by the paparazzi whenever she tried to go out and engage as a normal person.

Both Summer and Christopher had taken a sort of break from social media following their completion of the Infinity War promo. They didn’t go out as much either, both the parents to be focused on preparing for the birth of their children.

Unfortunately, given their international fame and status, everyone was expecting what felt like monthly updates on one of Hollywood’s favorite couples.

However, neither Summer or Christopher were interested in making a thing of her pregnancy. They wanted to celebrate in private and without the judgmental and watchful eyes of the outside world.

“This is cute.” Summer mumbled, lifting up a pink and black floral onesie. “I like it.”

Christopher looked over and nodded. “Me too.” She glanced at him to see he had his phone on her, prompting her to smile and shake her head.

“Another recording?”

While the actor hadn’t engaged much in social media, it seemed like every day he had his phone on his wife. From recording her help decorate the nursery to just laying in bed, watching the movement of their energetic twins in her belly, he was capturing everything that he could.

Normally, Summer was opposed to her husband always trying to get her on camera, but not for this. This was special. These were memories.

“You got it,” he replied and moved so that he could be in view of the camera, holding up two fingers. “Just two more months, kiddos, and we’ll finally get to go to the beach.”

“You would want that to be their first outing.”

“The ocean is a magical thing, Chlorine.”

“You motherf-“ he moved forward to cover her mouth as she tried to pry at his hands.

“Your mother also can’t wait to meet you guys. She’s so excited that I had to say it for her. Isn’t that right, honey?”

He dropped his hand and Summer slyly moved her hand behind Chris’s back to pinch his skin. “Mommy just can’t wait for you guys to stop sitting on my bladder.”

He rolled his eyes. “Don’t listen to her. It’s an honor to have such wonderful children-“

“I can’t believe that you’re really out here recording. What’s next? A YouTube channel.”

“Who told you!”

She laughed and hugged him, resting her face on his chest as he kissed the top of her head. “We just want to hold you already. We love you.”

“Very much so.” A beat. “Hence why we’re getting you two matching Tesla’s.”

“Christopher!”

••••••••

Hand on the small of her back, Summer waddled out of the bathroom after finishing her nightly routine.

“Baby, reminds me to call your mom tomorrow. She found some more of your baby stuff that she wants to show me.”

“Yeah, sure. Of course.”

Summer sensed the distracted tone of his voice and saw that he was on his phone. Sucking her teeth, she shuffled over to their bed and snatched it out of his hands. “Hey.”

“Sir, I am sick of you and this damn book.”

Christopher and Summer’s first “date” took place while they were in the middle of filming AOU, and it really just consisted of him inviting her over to his rental where he cooked for them. During dinner, conversation transpired where playful and suggestive banter commenced.

During that conversation, the Australian shared that he was never big and still wasn’t on reading. Fast forward to years later, and every time that Summer checked in on her husband, he was downloading or reading some book on parenting.

Looking at the phone, her eyes darted do the top to check for the title.

Strong Fathers. Strong Daughters. 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know.

“Can’t I be productive?”

She gestured down to her stomach. “You already were.”

He smiled. “My best work yet.” She flicked him on his chest as he reached for the phone. “Okay. Come on. Give it back.”

“No. You’re obsessed with these damn books, and enough is enough.”

“Summer.”

“Christopher.” She matched his tone and placed the iPhone on their nightstand. Summer carefully  moved onto the bed, his arms reaching out to help her down where he welcomed her in between his legs. “Stop it. You keep reading these books and watching all these videos, and for what? You don’t need them, honey.”

He sighed. “I’m just tying to-“

“That’s just it, Christopher. You keep trying to be something that you already are.” Without waiting for him to comment, she continued. “Baby, you are an amazing husband. You’ve been so attentive and gentle with me throughout this whole thing. Even when we were filming, I know you’d go against set rules and break away from scenes just to call or even come check on me since Thing 1 and Thing 2 kept taking turns making mama want to throw up.”

“They did it with love.”

“You watch me almost every second of the damn day. Literally. You enabled Find My iPhone without even telling me. You march into the bathroom if I’m in there for more than five minutes!”

“You know now, and many a women have almost drowned in the bathroom, Sunrise!”

“And I know that you’re scared, baby. Shit, I’m scared too. There’s going to be two little rambunctious ‘us’ depending on us when we don’t even have ourselves together if you really want to go there.” She chuckled quietly. “But that’s okay, because we’re in this together, and we’re gonna mess up, sure, but we have each other, and I believe in us. I believe in you.”

“Christopher.” She moved her hands over his forearms, turning her body as best she could to look up at him. “You’re going to be the best papa ever. The kids are lucky to have you, just like I am.” A beat. “You’re freaking Thor for god’s sake.”

He laughed and pressed a warm, lingering kiss to her temple. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” She smiled. “Now stop worrying, and help me up. I have to pee.”

[theonceoverthinker]

A Modern Man’s Guide to Piracy

Summary: Killian gets a lesson about modern culture that is very much up his alley.

AO3       Fanfiction.net

Dynamics Featured: Captain Cobra Swan, Swan Believer, Captain Cobra, Captain Swan

Inspired by @distant-rose. It’s actually been so long since I first touched this that I don’t remember exactly how you inspired it (Maybe on Discord some time ago?), but past!me left that note and I wanted to honor it all the same! So thank you for this fun idea, I think!

Timeline wise...it’s kind of all over the place, as you’ll see by the last scene. BUT it was a fun opportunity for some good jokes (Are they good? You tell me!) and I couldn’t resist. That said, it’s during the gap between Rumple and Belle’s departure from Storybrooke and Henry’s departure in the Season 7 opening.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

“Mom!” Emma could hear Henry calling. “It’s not on Netflix!”

With a bowl of popcorn now sagging in her arms, Emma sighed as she took off for the living room.

Damn. It was Groundhog’s Day and she really wanted to watch the Bill Murray movie. She had made a point of watching it every year and this was the first one where she had both Killian and Henry around to watch it with her.

Emma sighed. “Netflix must’ve taken it off.”

“They always do this right before the holiday,” Henry complained.

“That’s how Hollywood makes its money back and it sucks.”

Looking over at her husband and the confused expression on his face, Emma couldn’t help but laugh. No one could say that Killian wasn’t adapting to modern life like a champ, but those little moments where he stumbled were still pretty funny.

“Sorry, Killian,” Emma said. “The system of Hollywood and how it works with streaming services is a weird and complicated thing.”

But then Killian surprised her.

“I wouldn’t say that,” he said. “I mean, I don’t get all of it, but I think I understand the broad strokes of the matter. It’s like when I buy salmon at the grocery store. The grocery store gets money, but so do the fishers who bring it in.”

Emma nodded, impressed.

“Looks like some old timer’s getting a handle on our modern traditions.”

“Another age quip, Emma?” Killian teased. “Will you ever stop?”

“What can I say? They never grow old!”

Killian couldn’t seem to stop his laughter from getting the better of him and Henry and Emma happily joined in.

“And here I thought I was the one to make the puns,” Killian commented. “But as for our movie dilemma, what of the library? From what I remember, they started stocking movies there.”

Henry took a minute and checked his phone, looking displeased when he at last locked his screen again. “It’s closed.”

“It feels like it always is. Belle really should’ve thought twice before hiring Sleepy to run the library when she and Gold left,” Emma lamented. From beside her, Killian frowned.

“So I take it that movie night has been ruined?” he surmised. “Unless you want to watch that ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ movie again.”

Suddenly, a thought occurred to Emma. She turned to Henry, who must have had a similar revelation, and the two exchanged a look, one filled to the brim with the promise of mischief.

Luckily for her, a sheriff couldn’t exactly arrest herself.

“Not exactly,” Henry said.

“How so?” Killian asked.

“You’ll see.”

Killian smirked. “Is this to be another one of your operations?”

Henry seemed to muse on that for a moment before nodding. “Operation Pirate.”

That seemed to catch Killian off guard. “I’m confused. What can I do? While I’ve learned much, I’m nowhere near as familiar with this realm’s movie services as you two are.”

“No,” Emma clarified. “It’s not about you.”

“It’s a...more modern type of piracy,” Henry went on to say, smiling as the words settled.

Killian clearly didn’t know how to respond to that, but Emma could tell he was interested all the same in what that ‘modern type of piracy’ entailed.

“Well, let’s not waste any time then.”

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

“So what do you think?” Emma asked.

“Well,” Killian said. “It’s not as strenuous as captaining a ship, but the spoils seem to be rather abundant for this age.”

“Gotta love modern piracy.”

“It definitely smells better. So how did you do it?”

Henry went on to explain the concept of online piracy as best as he could. And while Emma loved her kid and knew Killian was pretty smart, she could see him struggling to keep up with what he was saying.

“So wait: Does that red horseshoe drag the movie from the pirate’s computer to ours?”

“No. First, that’s a magnet and second, we all share the movie.”

“Share? Sharing not what pirate are oft to do. Our ways are a bit more cutthroat than that.”

“Well, you’re not sharing,” Henry attempted to clarify. “It’s kind of like a cake with infinite pieces.”

However, that just seemed to make things worse.

“How does cake factor into all of this?”

Henry sighed and to his credit, was about to take another stab at explaining it again when Emma came to put him out of his misery.

“I think Killian’s had enough of our modern education for today,” she said, patting her husband on the shoulder.

While Killian seemed a bit sad to give up, Emma could tell that he felt even more overwhelmed by the extent of his lesson. She couldn’t really blame him -- even most of the people born in this realm couldn’t do it. It might have been a bit much to expect him to figure it out, especially in a single night.

“I’m sorry lad, I don’t quite understand. I think I’ll leave this type of piracy to you and your mother for now.”

Still, even as he said it and Henry relented, there was a lingering determination that Emma could tell was still there, but she brushed that off. Killian was always determined and she positively loved him for it.

But at the end of the day, maybe there were just some things that likely couldn’t be taught to a two hundred year old pirate.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

How the fuck could the freakin’ Savior not get tickets to ‘The Avengers: Endgame?’

It didn’t seem possible.

Emma normally didn’t care for her title of princess, but if there was ever a time where she would’ve bothered to pull rank, this would be it!

She even went as far as to try, but while many were still impressed by her royal status, the man at the ticket counter wasn’t among them.

So nope -- not even her royal status could grant her even one spot to see Iron Man, Captain America, and The Hulk take on Thanos. It was the movie of the year -- no, the century -- and she couldn’t see it.

And it sucked because Emma knew her job -- it wouldn’t take much for her to be spoiled. Her schedule had jammed her weekend, and as if that wasn’t bad enough, there was allegedly some kid running around Storybrooke calling everyone and spoiling the movie. It wouldn’t take long before it reached her, especially because her job necessitated she pick up every call she got.

This was her only chance until Monday to go see it, but alas, the Infinity Gauntlet was just outside of her grasp.

She could only imagine one person who was more miserable about the news than her.

And while driving home, she just happened to encounter him.

While Emma knew for a fact that her son was as healthy as a horse, he currently looked like he’d just been punched in the gut. His steps slugged and his his shoulders were sagging so much that they threatened to dislocate his backpack from his body. And facially speaking, he looked like a zombie. His eyes were heavy and his frown was dulled, as if his sadness was so deep that it circled to resignation.

Emma slowed her bug as she pulled up to him.

“Need a lift?” she said, smiling sadly.

Henry nodded and got in.

“Any luck on your end getting tickets?”

“Nope,” Henry answered, his tone more morose than Eeyore’s when he lost his tail. ”

...And when he found his tail…

“You?” he asked.

“Nothing.”

“Even with the power pull?”

“Looks like the only thing that can defeat the royal family is the Storybrooke Multiplex.”

Henry sighed. “I even offered to do Jeffrey Frog’s homework for a month and he still wouldn’t give me his ticket! I can’t believe this! Everyone at my school is seeing this movie tonight!” Henry suddenly grinned as he turned to Emma. “Any chance I can skip school tomorrow and see it then?”

Emma shot Henry a teasing pointed look.

“Do you like having two moms? Because I promise, if I let you do that, Regina would see to it that you’d only have one.”

“She wouldn’t have to kno-o-w,” Henry pointed out. Emma almost had to snort at his sing-songy fashion of begging.

“You know we live in Storybrooke, right? She’ll know the moment you step into that theater. Sorry, kid.”

Henry rolled back his head and pressed it against the seat head. “Damnit.”

“Language!” A beat passed and the two started laughing at the spot-on nature of the reference, however unintentional it was.

For the record though, it was completely intentional.

As they pulled up to the house, Emma and Henry slunk into their seats.

“Want to watch Infinity Wars tonight?”

“I think it’ll hurt too much,” Henry dismissed.

Emma groaned. “You’re right,” she admitted. “Should we just wallow in silence?”

“Yeah, that sounds great,” Henry replied, his tone just as miserable as Emma felt.

Finally, they got out of the car and went inside their house.

Immediately, the smell of microwave popcorn filled the air.

Henry and Emma looked at each other.

“Killian?” Emma called out.

“Emma!” Killian replied, coming out from the kitchen with a big bowl of popcorn. “And Henry! You’re both just in time for the show!”

Henry, clearly just as baffled as Emma was, looked to him. “Didn’t mom tell you Endgame was gonna be in theatres?”

Killian grinned a suspicious grin.

“Aye,” he said. “That she did, but she also told me that you weren’t able to procure tickets to the film.”

“So you were trying to make us feel better with an at-home movie?” Emma said, filling in the gaps. Killian nodded.

While still bummed out about the movie, she really had to hand it to Killian for his efforts to cheer them up.

For a pirate, he sure was sweet.

“Which one are we watching?” Henry asked.

Immediately, Killian’s grin grew to an outright smirk.

“Why ‘Avengers: Endgame,’ of course, my boy.”

Emma’s jaw slackened as Killian continued smirking at them.

“How?” Henry asked. “The movie just came out!”

“Why, I used that pirating technology of yours,” Killian said, gesturing towards the computer in the living room, which Henry wasted no time examining.

“But I thought you couldn’t figure out how to do it?”

“I couldn’t -- not when you first showed me, but I knew this film meant a lot to you so I did some digging. It took a few pages of this world’s government telling me NOT to pirate things, but when do I even listen to monarchs?”

“You listen to me,” Emma pointed out.

“Because I love you. Besides, you hardly ever use that title of yours.” Emma shrugged. “But anyway, eventually, I found some pages that laid out the process more thoroughly.”

“Well,” Emma said, watching Henry look at the file on the computer with an increasingly growing smile on his face, “it looks like you succeeded.”

Killian’s grin grew impossibly wider. “Yes, no matter the realm, you can always count on a pirate to secure the goods. And thankfully in this land, they’ve the decency to share their findings. Just be warned, the recording was from the premiere and quality isn't too great, especially compared to those Blu-Rays of yours.”

“It’s perfect!” Henry cried out! “It’s the right length, the Marvel logo looks new, the quality is low enough to be real! Killian, you are the best!” Having said that, Henry pulled Killian into a tight hug.

Killian rested his hook on Henry’s shoulder as he gently pulled him closer. “I’d say you own that title, lad, given how you’re far faster at this than I am, but you’re welcome all the same. Now why don’t you go get the other bowl of popcorn that has those accursed Milk Duds melted in for your mother and we’ll get this started?”

Henry, clearly not needing to be told twice, raced to the kitchen as Emma pulled her husband close.

“Looks like you can take the man out of the pirate, but you can’t take the pirate out of the man.”

“That bother you, my love?” Killian’s smirk returned, gazing at Emma as if he already knew the answer.

And dammit, he definitely did.

Emma answered his question with a kiss. She felt her foot pop as she settled cozily into his arms.

“I had a feeling,” Killian said, clearly not even bothering to keep the smug off his face.

“But that comment about my ‘accursed’ Milk Duds definitely crossed a line.”

“Give me credit, Swan. I may not be above breaking the law for my family, but I must have some honesty to my character.”

As she came in for another kiss, she made a point to lightly jab Killian in his smug little chest.

“Guys! Come on! It’s time for the romance to turn off and the action to turn on!”

Emma turned to Henry. “You wouldn’t be saying that if we were Pepper and Tony!”

“When you have a metal suit and can shoot energy blasts out of your hands, then you can makeout in front of me all you want.”

“Remind me to get some of Dad’s armor the next time I use my magic,” Emma told Killian.

Henry rolled his eyes, but gestured towards the TV before walking into the living room. “Anyway, Avengers, Assemble!”

Killian grinned, following him. “Excelsior!”

As Emma joined in alongside her boys, she marveled at how her pirate did indeed have many more tricks up his sleeve than even she expected.

And more than anything, even experiencing ‘The Avengers: Endgame’ spoiler-free, discovering all of them was to be the ultimate adventure.

[wonderfulfanofall]

Thor 4

hi no one knows me here but imma bout to give a rant no one wants! are you ready? here we gooooo!!

Okay! first of all lets talk about thor Ragnarok. When I first saw it I loved it! I was so happy to see my top marvel characters on screen! I really waited forever for new thor content and just was generally happy I was getting some! I thought the movie was different for thor a nice little change of pace, but! i understand that it is problematic and as a fan of the original two thor movies i can see how the third one does not live up to the others, which is why I was scared when I heard  Taika Waititi was going to direct it again. Especially since he did not do his research previously which I think is sad and sloppy. But then.... oh but then!!! I saw this!!

and i was like

but let me tell you why!! so, before I even knew there was going to be a thor four before we all knew marvel was going to break its three movie rule... i was writing my own thor four script. Obviously it was fan fiction in script format and was for me because like i said i just want more thor content and never in my wildest dreams would I guess marvel would break their three movie rule for my boy thor! A round of applause please! 

However, as mentioned before I was scared because the man who kind of made a parody of the thor characters was making the fourth one. I have nothing against Taika Waititi personally, but I’m just sad he didn’t really put much effort into a marvel series I love. Now, back to the fact I was writing my own thor... actually backtrack... THOR 2: THE DARK WORLD! Around that time the most wonderful movie came out.... Frozen... 

we all just want to... let it go... puns aside since those two movies were out on dvd around the same time and I watched them both around the same time and I coined a little phrase... Love is an open Thor... Love is an open Thor... Thor Love and Thunder.... Love is an open Thor... Thor Love and Thunder... COINCIDENCE??? (seriously look at some of my tags)

Okay back to the fact I wanted my own damn thor movie! I am writing this as of July 20, 2019 i will reblog this with a movie review but as of right now here is what I was planning. So lets start with the basic plot!! I was thinking of using bits of the Celestials plot and the fact that Thor eventually have to pass his hammer down to Jane Foster. So, Thor and Loki (this was before end game when I was hoping and praying for Loki’s safe return) hang out on earth after all the end game and infinity war chaos. Thor is not really feeling earth’s home vibes but hears of an asgardian who has really adapted to earth life (again this was thought of before end game). Him and Loki go to find that person and its Sigyn who has been on earth for the past 10-20 years on a mission for Frigga! She had no clue Asgard was blown up and that Ragnarok happened. But thats not all! She is housing the infamous Amora and Lorelei who were banished by Loki when he was Odin because they sniffed him out. Loki tells Thor to not trust them, but Thor missing Jane and starting to become under little miss Enchantress’s spell, doesn’t listen. The three lovely ladies are reintroduced into Asgardian society on earth and just be themselves. Over hearing about Skurge’s death and the fact there is hire beings that Sigyn was trying find twelve perfect humans to sacrifice to, Amora and Lorelei decide to finish the job/ corrupt the sacrifices and exchange earth for the return of Asgard. Not realizing they sort of can’t do that, Thor, Valkyrie, Loki, and Sigyn go out and try to stop the girls. There’s badass mind battle scenes between Amora and Scarlet Witch, Spiderman appearance just being his cute self, Sigyn admitting she’s bi as hell being in love with Lady Loki, Loki, and a little crush on Valkyrie, cool magic scenes between Loki and Sigyn, Thor and Loki beginning to heal, Amora tricking Valkyrie into an amulet(a little of that plot line... she would be out by the main battle) and Valkyrie healing realizing she deserves better, and most importantly.... Jane Foster. Yes I wanted Jane to be apart of this because I was upset she wasn’t in Thor Ragnarok. You wouldn’t make a spiderman movie without MJ, you wouldn’t make a Iron Man Movie without Peper.... where was Jane? 

Anyway Jane would help with holding off the Celestials in a big battle as long as she could and of course help throughout the movie. Once its realized they had to resurrect the Destroyer armor (since Thor killed it in the first movie) and that would be done by all of the remaining Asgardians life force. Thor gives his powers to Jane to make sure everything goes according to plan as everyone (including Amora and Lorelei, Sigyn will bribe them) sacrifices themselves. After the Celestials are put off (for now) Jane as Thor goes to all the other gods and asks for life forces and gets them, uses Sigyn’s spell to revive everyone. Amora gets Skurge back but has to go to prison, Loki frees Sigyn of her loyalty to Asgard (i was gonna make her loyalty goddess angle as more as a curse) and she could either be a supportive sometimes lover of loki or just a lover to Valkyrie(someone to treat my girl right!) and Jane becomes the new Thor!

My movie does several things! Establish Celestials a new really big threat (avengers 4, 5 whatever), brings some peace and understanding between Thor and Loki, gives Loki someone who will always root for him. make Marvel gay, gives Jane the hammer, and if they wanted to do more Thors with Jane clean up whatever mess Sigyn made because she may or may not have accidentally brought back old enemies! Good job Sigyn! 

Now are my ideas perfect?? No! Is it well thought out? No it needs more work... would I even dream marvel would pull something like this? Well I did which inspired me to do further Thor research and come up with a decent plot (I hope its a decent plot its different comic book ideas in like one). 

Now what the actual movie has confirmed...

JANE IS BACK BABY AND SHE’S GETTING THOSE POWERS!!!  HELL YEAH!! 

also during comic con they have confirmed eternals  and who created the damn eternals.... thats right the Celestials... these are celestial beings you don’t want to mess with and there’s a lot of them like different type wise! So many marvel charcters deal with the Celestials... are they the new bad boys of marvel? We will see!!

Anyway, I know that since end game things to my plot don’t fit the canon such as Loki being alive but not at the same time and Thor joining the Guardians of the Galaxy.  There was rumors that Thor would join but I didn’t see that in the marvel line up unless I didn’t look close enough!

Besides that, Thor 4 is a mystery! Let’s see what happens! Let’s see if my plot follows closely, or the movie be 100x better than my fan fiction!! I really hope the movie is 100x better! If not, catch me posting on AO3! Also like I’m pretty sure the government is watching my phone because I remember telling the jane thing to a friend through text... either that or the universe is listening and giving me Jane as Thor and a Loki series!! and if the universe is still listening I would like my college fund to be paid off... please? Thank you for reading rant over!!

[thehollowprince]

Endgame - Tony Stark

WARNING: MAJOR ENDGAME SPOILERS BEYOND THIS POINT!!!

I figured I’d start with Tony, because as anyone who follows me, or has seen my blog knows, I do not like this character.  This movie is no exception to that, in that I wasn’t a big fan of what they did with his character in here, but there were moments I actually did like.  So I’m going to make a list of what I liked and what I didn’t about his character and then some thoughts on his overall arc throughout this movie and the MCU in general.

I will try to keep the dislike section away from being blatantly “Anti Tony” but I make no promises.

Also, these lists will have bits from other characters that were a part of the main six’s journeys, so just keep that in mind.

Fair warning, the likes section is probably going to be a lot shorter than the dislike list, which won’t be too long either.  The Russos kept their word in that the Avengers from Infinity War that took a back seat were given more in this film, but Tony was still in it a bit too much for my liking, especially with how everything played out.

With that out of the way, let’s do this.

LIKES

Morgan Stark 

Pepper’s Iron Woman suit

Tony and Howard

“I am Iron Man”

Rhodey and Pepper being by his side

Proof that Tony Stark has a heart

Let’s start with what I liked about his story arc in Endgame.  I loved Morgan.  His daughter was adorable and he had a great little relationship with her, from what little we saw of it, away from everyone (left) and living in a cabin in the woods.  The whole scene where he says “Shit!” not knowing his daughter is sitting right there was hilarious and precious all at the same time.  Add to that the fact that she blackmailed him into getting her a treat for her silence and my heart was won.

How he acted with Morgan was a great shift in his character from all of the previous movies and I’m assuming it had something to do with having a biological child, as opposed to this whole concept a good percentage of the fandom likes to pretend is a thing (”Irondad”), but more on that later.

Pepper’s suit that she wore at the end was amazing.  I loved it so much better than any of the other IM suits used throughout any of the movies, and I loved during the epic battle at the end how well the two fought together.  Plus Pepper being included in the big Girl Power team-up at the end of the fight is the stuff of legends.

As anyone who followed me over this last year knows, I’m not a fan of Tony’s (and his fandom’s) constant need to blame everything wrong he ever does on a combination of things, one of which is his relationship with his father.  This is probably the most screen time Howard got in any of the movies and I did love that Tony used it to connect with his father over something they now have in common - having kids.  It was nice to finally see Tony put aside all his issues and recognize that his father was a human being.  Also, Jarvis being there was amazing!

More on this in the Dislikes section, but Tony’s response to Thanos’ “I am inevitable!” line being “I am… Iron Man.”  It was a nice callback to the first movie and the comics and I’m glad they ended his character on that note.

As he lay dying, which I didn’t take nearly as much pleasure in as I thought I would, I did like Rhodey and Pepper being there by his side, and Pepper’s little speech to him, telling him he could rest now, which was a nice callback to earlier in the film where she asked him if he could rest if he didn’t help.  As much as I don’t like them together, it was a touching moment to see him die with his wife and partner at his side.

The wreath with the original arc reactor put on the lake was just a nice touch, in my opinion.

DISLIKES

Nebula

His return to Earth

The Five Years Later

Still building suits

His superiority complex and attitude in general

His treatment of Scott Lang

“Do you trust me”

The constant quips and sarcasm

Peter Parker

One

His funeral

Okay, this one might upset people, but I did warn you.

For starters, I did not at all like the way they (The Russos) had Nebula act around Tony while they were on the Guardians’ ship.  Granted, they did a lot of character assassinations in this movie, but this was one of the ones that stood out the most to me, especially given how she treated everyone else throughout the rest of the movie, with her usual disdain except for her sister and Rocket.  Having her be so kind and nurturing to him just felt like something out of a fanfiction by someone who worships Tony but never saw any of the Guardians of the Galaxy films.  Though, I will admit, having him in his dying moments open his eyes to see Carol blazing in to save him and then her setting the ship down like it was nothing was pretty spectacular.

The moment he’s back on Earth, he just starts in with his bullshit again.  I’m sorry, but blaming Steve for the epic loss that they all faced was such a childish move, but that’s become something of a staple for him.  Blaming all of his problems and failures on someone else, even when they’re not just his failures.  It’s always someone else’s fault, because self-reflection isn’t a strong suit of his character, nor is his capacity to let it go.  Him standing there and yelling at Steve, as if everything was entirely his fault because Ultron blew up in his face and his “suit of armor around the world” didn’t pan out the way he wanted was such a dick move.  We’ve seen how Thanos and his forces dealt with Wakandan technology, which we all know is better than Stark Tech.  So for him to think that the Ultron Project would have even been able to stop Thanos, especially once he was armed with the Infinity Stones is pure hubris and I’m sick and tired of it.

The five years later scene, particularly when Steve, Scott and Natasha come to him for help after they thought up a way to fix it all, just made my blood boil.  I know no one wants to admit this, but Tony didn’t lose anyone in the snap.  And no, I’m not counting Peter as someone close to him, because up until the scene where Peter went poof, he’d been nothing but disdainful or outright neglectful of him.  The three that showed up to ask for his help lost everything, and while it is understandable that he didn’t want to lose what he now had, his outright dismissal of them was infuriating.  Especially when you factor in that he had to have his ass handed to him, and watch everyone else lose their loved ones before he finally put aside his ego and settled down with Pepper.

Even with the world decimated, he still can’t stop with the suit building?  Seriously?  Sure, it came in handy later when Pepper donned it for the big fight, but he was working on that before Steve and Nat even showed up.  He wasn’t preparing for the fight, he was just doing what he always does and feeding his addiction to those suits.

Another thing that bugged me about them coming to him for help was his whole attitude about it.  Not only how dismissive he was to Scott, but since when is Tony an expert on quantum physics?  There was no build up to that, no mention of it before, and it just smacked of something they threw in there to try and find a reason for Tony to rejoin the Avengers for this final film.  Between Scott and Bruce, and with Rocket’s brilliance and Thor’s knowledge of Asguardian science, they should have figured it out.  But no!  We had to have the Tony be the one to save the day.

You’ll get a theme here about my dislikes all being related to the blatant fan service of those who worship Tony Stark.

In regards to the way he talked to Scott throughout the entire film - I didn’t like it.  I didn’t like his dismissive attitude or his constant barrage of insults.  Scott Lang is probably one of, if not the, nicest character in the MCU and he doesn’t deserve to be treated like that by some bored billionaire with a grudge.

The “Do you trust me?” line was aggravating as hell.  Anyone who watched these movies knows that Tony doesn’t trust his teammates, or even treat them with basic respect half the time, and given how he acted to Steve upon his return to Earth, and how they left things at the end of Civil War, I think the addition of that line was a slap in the face to any of the people who loved Steve’s character over the years.

The constant sarcasm got old about seven or eight movies ago.  At some point these writers and producers have to realize that being a sarcastic asshole isn’t really a personality, despite how much they try and pretend it is.  It’s 2023 in this movie, which puts Tony over fifty.  It’s way passed time to just let it go.  He doesn’t always have to get the last word in.

I am not a fan of all of this whole "Irondad" farse that so many people have fallen for. The few times they've interacted at all, Tony has been either outright dismissive, if he even pays attention to him at all, so for Peter to come back and that hug to take place, not to mention Peter crying while Tony was dying bugged me. We've seen absolutely nothing in the MCU that would support this behavior aside from blatant fan service.

Tony looking over and seeing Strange holding up his finger (not the finger I would have chosen) to indicate this is the one time in 14 million that they stopped Thanos annoyed me.  Not the fact that Tony got the stones for that final snap, but the fact Tony was even able to touch them.  Before anyone comes for me, I’d feel the same way if it had been Steve or Clint or T’Challa or Sam or Bucky or whoever.  One of the things we’ve been shown throughout the MCU was how damn powerful those stones were.  Hell, the Power Stone killed almost everyone that ever touched it, with my understanding being that humans would have been disintegrated on contact.  But someone, Tony Stark, the middle-aged man was able to hold all six Infinity Stones and perform a snap?  I mean, sure, he died in the end, but he shouldn’t have been able to do it at all, especially when we saw how using the Stones nearly killed Thanos, who has been proven to be vastly stronger than so many of them, Tony included.

I also really didn’t like the funeral.  Yes, it was nice to see his friends and family there, but the further back they went, the more I kept questioning “Why?”  Why were all those people there?  The Bartons and the rest of Team Cap and that random kid behind them?  Carol?  Some of those people barely had any interaction with Tony, if at all, and suddenly they’re all there to mourn him?  I don’t know if the whole thing was supposed to be an homage to the fact that an era has ended in the MCU, but the whole scene left something of a sour taste in my mouth.

FINAL OPINION

Anyone who has followed me over the years knows that I don’t really like this character.  It started out with mild dislike, but then just snowballed into outright hatred, so this film, which managed to pull him back even if only a little, helped me remember some of what I originally liked (read: didn’t hate) about the character. 

The whole Tony exiting the MCU thing by having him sacrifice his life just reeked of fanservice and RDJ’s heavy-handed negotiation skills.  It’s been a constant in every movie he’s been in, except Homecoming, that he has to have the big emotional climax.  This film marks the fourth time that Tony has decided to leave superheroing behind, and at this point, it’s just become a gimmick.  Even though this time he is confirmed as dead, I don’t really feel all that bad for the character because of MARVEL’s insistence in putting him in movies where he wasn’t needed and I’m sure they’ll find a way to bring him back somehow for future installments.

This character could have been so great over the course of the MCU, but the writers just stuck with the same tired old tropes and put them on repeat, even up to the big heroic sacrifice in the end, which fell flat to me because he already had more than one of those.  Those being his flying of the nuke into the wormhole back in The Avengers, and then his destruction of all his suits in Iron Man 3.

They tried this so many times already that it lost it’s uniqueness for any of those who are invested in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.