#the only thing i really tolerate is clippers but i dont know if i want it that short

[lillybean730]

i need a haircut but i hate people touching my hair

[clown-bait]

Paranormal Journeys (Pt8) Tortured

Update time! When we last heard of the trashpire she was in a bit of a sticky situation a new face arrived on the scene and somehow she lost a finger. Pennywise is not happy about any of this. Especially because he had to get help from his nemesis. At this point you should just get a pet tracker for your girl Pen she seems to get herself into trouble way too often.

Oh right and some music to go along with this chapter:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHQUfgq1seM

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Ch 15 Tortured

“Well, well, well if it isn't my favorite bitch! You know I was going to send you some Frontline for christmas since the last time I walked by your house I got covered in fleas.” Leech grinned through the ichor leaking from her face as the alpha werewolf Danielle walked into the barn and backhanded her already bruised face.

“Still making dog jokes even though you're the one on a leash? Leech I knew you were obnoxious but this is just pathetic.”

“H-harder mommy.” Leech whimpered through the sting of the she-wolfs hand.

“ugh and still disgusting.”

“At least when it rains I don't smell like wet dog!” The vampire called out as her rival turned away to Zander who had grabbed her arm as she passed.

“Wait you know her?”

“Unfortunately. I also know that the creature she's dating is the creature you've been looking for Zander”

“You fucked Humperdink?!” Leech shouted from behind them. The she-wolf turned to her in confusion.

“What?”

“She's been referencing Princess Bride for hours now.” Chris sighed.

“It's a classic! I’ve been trying to get Penny to watch it with me forever now. He liked Labyrinth though so not all hope is lost.”

“Yeah back to *ahem* Penny. The clown that was in the house thats what killed your sister and whats more disgusting she's dating it.” Danielle pointed at Leech who was raising her eyebrows suggestively.

“She's what now?”

“Ok listen its more than just dating, we’re a mated imprinted pair! Like- uh shit how did he describe it…ducklings? Violent sexual ducklings!” Leech called out to them in annoyance. The group grimaced and turned back to ignore her.

“Well, thats a mental image I never needed.” Rick said while rubbing his temples. Danielle regained her composure after cringing at the thought of what the clown and his vampire got up to when they were alone.

“Look I'm not going to explain it but you can help me stop it, using her as bait.” she said to the group while Leech yelled in shock.

“Oh my god you absolute bitch!!” the nosferatu spat and struggled in her restraints.

“She's just as evil as the creature its self so don't feel bad about anything I'm about to suggest but were going to have to torture her a bit for information.”

Chris and Zander both nodded, Rick hesitated but agreed when he saw the others eagerness to work together on this one.

“I am so not evil…..wait no yeah, yeah I am.” Leech snarked at them once again. Whatever it was these humans thought they could do to her she's had worse.

“Get something sharp and silver. Vampires cant tolerate it.” the werewolf grinned. Leech's smile faded as she heard a mirror shatter.

“Ah fuck.”

The werewolf cautiously approached leech brandishing the silver mirror shard in one hand holy water in the other. “Tell us how to get to the clown.”

“You'll have to kill me.” the nosferatu spat.

“Splash her.”

Holy water sliced into Leech’s abused skin fizzing and bubbling like acid. The vampire cursed and whimpered. Then she laughed.

“M-more” she panted and was struck with the water again.  

“Let's try once more how do I find the clown?”

“Have you checked the circus?”

“You're not funny”

“And you snack on milk bones.”

“Hand me the crucifix.” the alpha said to Chris as Leech hollered out to the group.

“Don't believe me? Check her purse! I’ve totally seen some in there!”

The she-wolf pulled out a large cross from a sheet. The nosferatu smiled.

“Oh! We’re gonna get rough I see. Well, we all know I like it rough!” Leech’s sneer turned into a wail of pain as she was brought to the floor. The cross pushing her down via searing internal agony until the thing started to catch fire in Danielle’s hands.

“Th-that it?” the vampire panted and rolled onto her back.

“If you wont tell us how to find him well make him come to us” Danielle sighed putting the cross away. Her prey was as stubborn as she was annoying time for a different tactic.

“He's going to wipe you from existence when he finds out you betrayed him.” Leech snarled keeping her voice low so the humans couldn't hear her. “Why are you risking this?”

“For power. I kill you and put your clown back to sleep, then for 27 long years the town is ours to do with as we please.”

“Always knew you needed to be put down.” Leech muttered.

The blonde bared her teeth and plucked a pair of old rusted sheep sheers off the wall. She turned to Chris who had been wearily watching her since she had entered the barn. “Here make yourself useful.” she called to him holding out the clippers. The ghost hunter took the sheers and looked at the blonde woman and then over to the chained monster on the dusty barn floor.

“You know I don't have any hair right?” the vampire called out from the background.

The she-wolf rolled her eyes and turned to Zander. “Z this thing on the floor? She can lead the creature to us, the thing that killed your sister we have to use her to make sure justice is done.”

“IT would come for her?” the lead ghost hunter asked.

“Oh baby you have no idea!” Leech flashed the room a devilish smile still trying to taunt her captors.

“Ew.” Chris grimaced

“Yeah ok someone help me grab her at least we can shut her up” Zander pulled on Rick’s arm who moved to restrain the nosferatu. Leech raised her eyebrows in amusement as she was thrown to the floor and held down.

“Uh Z? What am I cutting off?” Chris asked

“Well, she doesn't have any hair…. maybe a piece of her shirt?”

Chris and Danielle both shot Zander a questioning look, then gave the same to the vampire when she started laughing from her spot on the floor.

“HA pussies! Like Pennywise would risk everything for a piece of fabric! You gotta cut off something I’d miss!”

“Why are you encouraging that??” The she-wolf shouted completely dumbfounded.

“Honestly? Cause your attempts at being evil here are pretty lame.”

“wh-“

“Plus the guy you gave those scissors to doesn't look like he has the balls to do it anyway.”

“well yeah you're talking about amputating something here!” Chris shouted.

“Just cut off her finger Chris.” Danielle rolled her eyes growing tired and impatient.

“Yeah Chris do it! Bet you’ll bitch out!” Leech yelled and taunted again.

“Chris wait we don't have to do this!” Zander could smell the potential lawsuit from here. His little revenge plot has gotten way out of hand. He had never really expected to find anything and when he did he had just sorta been winging it till he met Danielle in that bar.

“Humperdink is a pussy you gonna let a guy like that control your life? Cut off my finger” Leech shouted again.

“I-“

“Chris I'm your boss listen to me” Zander pleaded.

“I dont-“

“what are you waiting for be a man DO IT!” Danielle shouted this time.

“Z, I cant-“

“HA! I knew it!” Leech called out triumphantly as if she had just won some kind of prize. Zander continued to shout at his teammate while Danielle motioned the ghost hunter to proceed. The whole thing was a bit overwhelming for him to say the least.

Chris looked at Zander who was now shouting orders at him, the woman he chose to sleep with instead of him and the insane bald creature on the floor.

“This is some real half assed torture you've organized here Danielle I'm kinda embarrassed for you. Seriously you should brush up on your technique cause- FUCK” something behind Leech landed on the floor in a wet thud. “Holy shit I didn't think he'd actually do it…….” the vampire said in a small shocked voice as her breathing rapidly began to increase. The barn was silent in shock, for only a moment nothing but a few splatter noises of thick ichor falling for Leech’s hand. Then the vampire gasped and lurched forward before opening her mouth to scream.

————————————-

Over all the eons he had existed today had to be one of the top ten worst days of pennywise’s immortal life. the clown led his nemesis down the corridors of his sewer preferring to travel this way and to keep the existence of his- friends is too strong of a word…..associates he has been forced to live with. Yes much better! The existence of his associates hidden.

The group didn't seem too  troubled over his mates plight anyway. Which infuriated the clown even when he showed them her severed finger they rolled their eyes. If they only knew of her condition! At least two of them would actually be concerned!

“Soooo…” the human behind him began to speak. Pennywise let out a low clicking growl in annoyance

“What”

“Now that we have this…truce..I have a few-“

“You get three.”

“Can one of them be how to kill you?”

“No.”

“All right then when did you grow feelings?”

“I didn't grow feelings.”

“That’s not what i saw back at the house”

the clown bared his fangs. “Next question.”

“You cant give me three questions and then refuse to answer them.”

“The only reason you're alive right now sheep boy, is because your grandfather was clever enough to build his farm somewhere I can’t reach. Which way?”

“Left. Are you controlling her mind how did this start?”

Pennywise laughed at that. “You think I wanted this to happen? I was quite content till Leechie ruined my life. She came on to me.”

“I find that hard to believe.”

“For all your snooping you sure don't know much. Humans, so moronic.” the clown grinned to himself. Mike chewed over the implications that someone could actually find this thing attractive enough to pursue it and even fall in love with it. Whoever or whatever Lucy Smith really was she must be sick in the head.

“What is she?”

Pennywise turned his head back and smirked as he walked. “Not human. Something much, much better.”

“Do you love her?”

The clown stopped cold. “That was three questions I'm not answering that.”

“You didn't answer it the first time. Do you love her?”

Pennywise stood still and silent. Mike couldn't see the clown’s ocean blue eyes or the slight quiver of his lip in the dark sewer tunnel but from the absolute stillness the librarian seemed to have his answer.

“We’re making another left.” Mike finally spoke up snapping Pennywise from his trance-like state. “I cant believe you of all people fell in love”

“Shut up Mikey.”

“Clearly she's had quite the effect on you.”

“I SAID THATS ENOUGH”

“The others aren't going to believe me when I tell them-“

Pennywise turned and roared in the librarians face. His fangs multiplying so much they no longer fit in his own mouth while his eyes bulged their alarming red and yellow. “NO! SHE STAYS OUT OF THIS” he practically spat bits of flesh into Mike’s eyes in his rage. It took a lot for the librarian to remain as calm as possible trying to remind himself that IT still needed his help and was desperate enough to broker a truce. He'd keep this bit of information for a later use, Pennywise may have a weakness after all.  As the clown turned back around still with those bulging glowing eyes lighting the sewer Mike sighed and boldly gave him one final jab to the ego.

“You definitely love her.”

“I hate your species so much” Pennywise mumbled and continued to blindly lead the way to the outer reaches of his territory.

——

They came to the end of the sewers greeted by the lush forest surrounding the town animals skittered away in fright at the sight of the creature that emerged from its domain squinting slightly in the light and sniffing the air.

“I don't smell her.” he snarled “Did you lie to me human?! I can find out yes I can! I’ll pluck out your eyes one by one and tear out your ears!” he sang and threatened the poor librarian who stood his ground and shook his head.

“No, I didn't lie. This is the back way to the farm a way only I know about.”

Penny snarled and huffed impatient and hungry from his walk. “Show me.”

“You have to promise”

“Yes, yes your life will be spared if she is unharmed.”

“No you have to promise not to kill anymore children.”

Penny bared his teeth at the librarian. He was close enough he could kill him now and search himself, it would take more time but he'd at least be rid of the little lighthouse keeper of those kids. The clown flexed his claws but paused when something crawled out of the river. A turtle hauled its self out onto a rock to dry in the last remaining beads of light in the setting sun something fluttered in the air around it landing on its shell and unfolding its pale wings. The moth sat on the reptile for a few moments before fluttering onto the clowns claw then out of his grasp forever off into the sky. A warning from his brother. Figures.

“This will not last.” Penny said at last.

“I didn't think it would. If it happens again, if you take a child I will call them back.”

“We have a deal then.” the clown grumbled. He was stuck between a rock and a hard place here. If Leech wasn't so vulnerable he could have said no and just gobbled his long time nemesis up but no. Things had to happen now at the cusp of everything important. He had little choice and he felt helpless and angry. For the first time he had something that made him happy other than food and his brother had to ruin his fun. First he’ll end the losers, then Maturin. He would see to it they all pay.

“Its just this way theres an entrance to the main barn through the cellar, I-I’d hide here when I was younger to get out of slaughterhouse work.”

“Couldn't take a life of a lamb could ya Mikey?” Penny sneered

“I raised them myself, its harder when they're your’s… but then again you wouldn't understand that would you.”

The clown snarled and let out a growl that was thick with offense. “I am learning.” was his answer as he pushed through the dusty wooden door. Mike chewed on the creatures words for a bit. What did that mean? The creature’s sense of urgency was starting to take on a much deeper meaning now as the librarian followed after him.

The cavern got darker and darker as they pushed forward Pennywise melting into the shadows despite his silver costume. Mike used a flashlight to keep track of the thing from his nightmares as it sniffed the dust filled air. Pennywise paused and inhaled deep a low gravely whine escaped his throat and he inhaled again as if the intoxicating scent was quelling an addiction.

“She's here.” he began “She's wounded.”

“Well, she is missing a finger.”

“Quiet human!” penny snapped and listened to the silent cellar.

His eyes flicked forward when he heard it. it was feint but ominous. Someone was singing and Penny knew the song well. She had been singing it non stop for a week now.  

Well you can't hold me

I'm too slippery

I do no sleeping

I get lonely

You can touch me

If you want to

I got poison

I just might bite you

Lie in circles

On the sunlight

Shine like diamonds

On a dark night

Ain't no mercy

In my smiling

Only fangs and

Sweet beguiling

Well the future he don't

Try to find me

Skin I been through

Dies behind me

Solid hollow

Wrapped in hatred

Not a drop of

Venom wasted

Well you can slip in

Try to find me

Hold your breath and

Flat deny me

It makes no difference

To my thinking

I'll be here when

You start sinking

The clowns posture relaxed in relief as he took in the siren call to him. He cocked his head to the side and grinned wide in the direction of the librarian who wasn't sure if it was wise to approach any further. Penny shut his eyes and sighed again.

“My Peachy.”

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Who’s ready for carnage! Cause shits about to get fucked up in the next chapter. Some graphic skin removal, playing 70s rock music on muscle tendons someone might even get shot in the face! How exciting! Oh and you know the reveal of whats been going on with our trashpire. That too.

[yagirlcriesalot]

tw:  “a penny for your thoughts?”

i think my psychologist classified it as a “depressive mood disorder” but it wasn’t a set diagnosis. 

i dunno what i would classify it as. i refer to it as depression but in a way it is a self diagnosis which is why i use it lazily. 

my family tell me it’s stupid to put a label to it. “you’re not mentally ill, youre just a teenager. everyone hates school. you’re lazy and antisocial.” my sisters call it an excuse. mum walks into my room to find me crying and just tells me she’s going out. like nothing’s new, nothing’s different. 

i guess she’s right. 

hannah says im fucking stupid for even questioning it. “it’s mostly attention seeking: a product of my own spite” i tell her, because seriously. i think it is. she cries when i cry. “you want to kill yourself, i think that makes you fucking depressed.” but does it? do i really? 

she cut my nails a month or two back when i told her i relapsed and i tried to keep them short. i dont have the energy to find clippers though. theyre long again. 

but i think she’s growing out of me: moving onto people who are really worth her time. people who go out with her. people who keep positive and happy. people who don’t cry on the floor of her bedroom telling her they want to jump in front of the train at the station. 

it hurts to think about. it hurts so much. because i’m such a dependent person and she’s the only one who i can touch who i can actually tolerate when i’m like this. but she deserves more than being a damn caretaker. she deserves a real life so she should chase it. 

i wouldn’t stop her. i wouldn’t be that selfish.

it’s attention seeking to be like this, attention seeking every time i call her with tears on my face, attention seeking every time she asks “how are you feeling?” and i say “how do you think.” because the answer barely changes. it’s attention seeking to cry so much and so loud, it’s attention seeking to tell people i know mental illness, it’s attention seeking to drag my nails across my tummy. its attention seeking to be writing this right now.

but i’m sitting in bed with tears in my eyes. my rooms a complete mess and mum’s been telling me to clean it for days. but i dont have the energy to do that. i dont have the energy to fold up my clothes, to hang up my shirts. i dont have the energy to pack away my make up. i dont have the energy to tidy up my desk. i dont have the energy. to do anything other. than sit here. cry. and type out my head.

my legs are folded. they feel weighted. tied down to the mattress.

i’m not getting up. i won’t shower tonight, not feeling like this. i’m itchy. i won’t clean. i won’t write. i won’t eat anything more. or drink. i won’t. i won’t. i won’t. i can’t. i can’t. 

the only thing it seems i can do is this but i’m just telling myself that. for attention probably. i’m just convincing myself.

always convincing myself. 

“be unhappy”

“think about killing yourself, you want to”

“hurt yourself, you need to”

“cry”

“cry”

“cry”

“list out your flaws”

“list out the ways you can kill yourself tonight”

“skip one meal”

“cry”

“cry”

“hate yourself”

“complain. whine. cry.”

my head feels heavy too now. my ears are ringing. i think a headache’s coming on. i’ve already got cramps. 

“how do you feel?”

heavy. 

always heavy. in my legs, my arms, my fingertips. but mostly in my chest. i have an extra 10kilos sitting inside my lungs. an extra 10 kilos of what? i’m not sure. feels like concrete. or clay. or maybe just plain dirt.

it hurts but it doesn’t. a numb pain. but it’s suffocating me and i think theres something alive there too. i can always feel it eating away at whatever else is working in there. whatever else is still, painfully, keeping me alive. i don’t know how long until it’s all been eaten through anyway and i guess i’m just too tired to care about it. 

hannah texted me. just now. i don’t know... whether to look - i’m being petty and it’s hurting her i can tell. she hates tense air. she hates it. she mentioned in class she and michelle were going to see incredibles2 and it’s childish of me to get offended but i did. i’m proud and stubborn. she was embarrassed. and although i feel bad i’m too proud to apologise. - - i sent her a photo of my costume for a party and she pulled a face. probably meant nothing, but now i want to cancel. i hate it i hate it i hate it. i’m always like this and it’s awful but i don’t care i can’t care. 

i want to be so mean that she leaves. but i’m so scared to watch her go. 

a few of my many unattractive qualities that shine brighter the more you get to know me:

- proud - stubborn - childish - a massive sore loser - bitter bitter bitter bitter bitter - spiteful and hateful

i don’t want to see her text. but i guess i’ll open it..

it’s about something else. i guess she doesn’t really care after all. time for petty grace to be bitter.

i’m such a fucking bitch.

haven’t seen my psych in a couple months. its a couple hundred bucks to see her and it really doesnt do much - merely temporary relief, but i only make promises i can’t keep. mum can’t spend the money. it’s selfish of me to say but she thinks i’m just crying for attention too. she thinks it does nothing. she doesn’t care. 

when it comes up here and there and she tries to brush it down, it’s always condescending. always. i know she’s trying to help but telling me that i’m fine when i’m crying every other day is not trying to help. it’s always on the tip of my tongue. it’s always there. but i can’t say it to her i can’t give her that kind of pain. i can’t. 

"i want to fucking die, mum. i want to kill myself! and you don’t even care that i break down once a week. you don’t care! that i scratch my skin til it bleeds!” 

but y’know, her response will probably be: “don’t swear like that.” 

and you know how i said i’m spiteful? god. the people that tell me that i am mentally healthy, that i’m just being whiny, that i’m a moody teenager and i’ll cheer up soon. 

call me petty. call me selfish. call me stupid and ridiculous and a waste of fucking space! i know i’m a piece of shit attention whore but fuck there’s so little holding me back from proving them wrong. 

and maybe that’s what is sitting there in my chest weighing so much and eating me alive. my spite. curled up and chewing on every breath of mine. deciding whether to keep my alive or label me “roadkill”. 

i’m exhausted. i have cramps and a headache. i don’t exercise. i don’t write. i don’t get out of bed. i’m an attention seeking bitch and a waste of healthy organs. 

this is my depression. if that’s what you wanna call it. 

...

keep your penny