#the only reason i hold my tears in through 911 is so i dont miss a single moment

[avnasace]

yet another week of me tearing up and going batshit feral insane on tumblr bc of 911, recovering dissociating through greys anatomy, and then bawling my eyes out to station 19

[gleedalehq]

a dark secret unveiled

Who: Clara Evans (@fieryclaraevans), Peyton July (@southsidepey) ; brief appearance by Derek Gilbert (@derek-ghoulie) w. brief mention of Cassie Bailey (@cassiexbailey)

What: Clara and Peyton stumble across an unexpected secret

When: October 26, Evening

Where: Bridgemont Estates, St. James’ Masquerade

Notes: If there are triggers you need me to mark, please let me know

Peyton

Peyton needed some time away from the dance. One of the guys started to make her feel uncomfortable and knew she had to get out there before she had a full blown panic attack. So, she decided to get some fresh air and it would be best to walk along the beach. Once she arrived there, Peyton slipped off her heels & mask before she started to walk mindlessly. After a while, she got lost in her mind, thinking about things when she saw a log. She furrowed eyebrows, knowing that logs didnt come down this far from the river. She glanced behind her, wondering if anyone was following her and then continue to walk towards the log. Once she got there, she could feel shear panic run through her body and felt sick to her stomach. "No..." She sped up her walking and then started to run before she stopped and let out a scream when she noticed it was Sebrina's body. She dropped her dress, her heels and her mask as she wrapped her arms around herself. She couldnt stop looking at the body, or even move. She was frozen there.

Clara

Clara only snuck out momentarily, enough for a joint and had every intention on going back. There was definitely more she could pocket to make Daddy proud, and there was definitely more scenes she could cause.

She was about to head back to the manor when a bloodcurdling scream distracted her. A scream like that meant something. Without thinking she followed the sound and found Peyton standing alone. It didn’t add up until she walked closer.

The body was almost unrecognizable but even she could place it. Sebrina Smythe.

“Holy fuck...” she mumbled. “Oh this... this is something.”

Peyton

Peyton was close to tears as she stared at the body, covering her mouth as she quieted her sobs. She didnt noticed someone had joined her until she heard someone mumble.

She glanced over to see Clara, then she looked at the body. She slowly uncovered her own mouth then she can opened up her mouth, but no sound came out and glanced out towards the water. She wondered how long the body had been there, just, lying behind the manor. She knew that she needed to let someone else know, but her legs were still frozen there.

"W-we need to get someone." She finally spit out, glancing towards Clara once more. "W-we c-cant just leave h-her here." She stuttered out, wondering if it was the cold that was making her do it.

Clara

Clara wasn’t sure she wanted just anyone showing up. As innocent as she actually was, her standing above the body of a Smythe wasn’t exactly something most NS’rs would take very kindly to. 

“Yeah,” she told Peyton, in an effort to placate her. “I’ll text someone, don’t worry.” The only people she even wanted showing up were her own people.

She pulled her phone out the the purse, careful not to reveal anything else she had in there to Pey, sure she wouldn’t hear the end of robbing the St. James’. She scrolled and found Derek’s contact info and shot him a text.

Back of the manor. Beach area. 911.

Peyton

Peyton fought against the tears as she looked over Sebrina's body, knowing that  things will come unglued and she didnt want to be in Riverdale for it, but she knew that she wanted to be there for Jackie.

"T-thank you." She said as she started to rubbed her arms and glanced back out at the water. She chewed on her bottom lip as she carefully walked around the body, the best she could and then glanced back at Clara.

Peyton picked up her dress, prayed that none of the flowers from her dress had fallen off and then walked back where she was standing at, by her heels & mask.

Derek

The evening had been positively eventful, and he was right in the middle of showing the new girl in town why he was such a beast when he got Clara’s text. Huffing in annoyance at the shit timing, he still finished Cassie up before getting himself dressed and heading out to the back of the manor indicated by the urgent text. All the while he thought to himself if someone’s not dead, someone’s fucking gonna be.

He approached and saw Peyton first, looking confused and hesitant. She didn’t seem hurt. Clara would’ve had no reason to attack her. But soon enough he saw what they were looking at.

Were he a gambling man, the bloated, purple and blue corpse appeared to belong to one Sebrina Smythe. It was impossible to tell how long the body had been in the river but it was definitely too long, chunks of flesh missing from being battered around by the lake and probably gnawed at by fish and other creatures.

Unphased, he arched a brow and looked over at Clara. “You called me out here with a 911 to look at an old dead body? What do you want me to do about it? This is a crime scene now, you can’t fuckin’ move it or anything.” He glanced back over at Peyton. “Call the actual police. No ones gonna get accused of murdering that thing tonight.”

Clara

Clara could Derek wasn't pleased to be called out here, she could see it in the way he walked. That being said, what was she supposed to have done? It's not like she trusted many, or any, people outside of the Ghoulies. He wanted to be their leader, this was the stuff he was going to have to deal with.

Then again, if one Ghoulie standing over Sebrina's dead body, two was probably worse. She wasn't going to let Derek know that had even crossed her mind now though.

"Look," she answered, completely turning away from Peyton. "I heard her scream, I came running, as one does when they hear screaming and this is what I find. Excuse me if I don't exactly know how to deal with a dead fuckin' body."

So maybe getting worked up wasn't the best thing either, and she would probably pay for that later, but she couldn't help it. Like Moni always said, she was a firecracker, it was just in her DNA.

Peyton

Peyton swallowed hard when she listened to Derek, nodded before she pulled out her phone from her bra and dialed the police. She glanced between them, let out a shaky breath and ran a hand through her hair carefully.

"Hi, yes. Um. I found the body of Sebrina Smythe a..and she's behind the manor of the St. James. It looks like she was washed up on shore." Peyton started to say as she stepped in the water, and closed her eyes a bit. "N-no, no one has moved the body a..and I just walked around it, to make sure it was Sebrina Smythe." She glanced at Clara & Derek and let out a breath.

"Y-yeah, I'll go and meet up with the police and show them where Sebrina's at. The address?" Peyton said before she told them the address and hung up before she placed it back into her bra. "The police will be here in a few minutes, in the meantime, you two, should go. I dont want you two to get hit once everyone gets wind about this. I realize that no one will get arrested, but, I dont want anyone to go after you two. However, it's up to you guys if you want to stay."

Derek

Rubbing his eyes in blatant irritation, Derek glared in clara’s direction. “You literally had nothing to do with the body. You turn around and you walk away. What the hell were you expecting I’d be able to do about it? Not like she can be revived. And she was a huge bitch anyway.”

He sighed at Peyton. The cops would be here any minute to fetch the body of their beloved little NorthSider wench. Derek pointed at Clara again. “Princess, go gather up everyone you can find and evacuate. The second the cops get here this place is going on lockdown for questioning. I’ll send out a text but go.”

He shrugged at Peyton. “I’ll hang back.”

Clara

Clara waited patiently as Peyton made the call. When Derek spoke she could help but stand a little straighter. She was just supposed to leave him here? She didn't like the sound of that, but he'd given her an order and she was damned if she was going to step out of line right now. "Yes, Daddy," she answered, putting her phone back in her purse and flash a little of the good's she'd already grabbed at him, obviously out of view of Peyton.

As she walked away she quickly texted everyone even if she knew Derek would too, and made her way to gather everyone on the path out, none of them were going to be caught tonight, not if she could help it.

Peyton

Peyton watched as Clara walk away, stepped out of the water and away from Sebrina, wrapped her arms around her body once more. She slipped on her heels as she stood next to Derek, mask in her hand and knew that her makeup was messed up.

"I should probably text everyone I know as well, right?" She asked as she looked up at Derek. "Never been in this situation before, so not sure if Im doing anything right or not." She glanced back at the body. She let out a breath, that she apparently was holding and really wanted to put her hair up but she didn't have a hair tie. "Do you think they're going to take me down to the station to get a full report?"

Derek

Derek half expected Clara to fight with him about it, but the priority needed to be getting everyone out that had a loaded purse or bag filled with shit they stole from the manor. Especially with everything in clara’s bag. He dug out his phone and fired off a quick group text to the Ghoulies.

Glancing down at the corpse again, Derek shrugged. “If you want? I’m having my guys get the hell out of dodge before the cops start pointing fingers and asking questions. I don’t really give a shit what you do for those shitty snakes.” He reached over and carefully patted Peyton’s back. “I doubt it. The body’s been decaying for awhile. I can’t imagine they’d waste time bringing you there for a lot of “I don’t know” answers.”

Peyton

Peyton listened to Derek, rolled her eyes as she gave him a pointed look. She didnt want to argue with him right here and in front of a dead body. She opened up her mouth but she closed it and pulled out her phone back out of her bra.

"Thank you, for patting my back carefully. Be aware of the sticks and bobby pins on the left side and the flowers." Peyton replied as she quickly texted everyone that she knew, froze over one name and quickly skipped it before she went back texting. "Never know, I could be a suspect, which would be hilarious because I didn't come back, shortly before or was it after she went missing. I don't quite remember, but you're right. Though, probably ask me where I was on the Fourth of July." She put her phone back into her bra and shuddered a bit. "I should've brought a coat with me."

Derek

Derek shrugged again. “I don’t know what you want me to tell you, P. This is very clearly not a recent murder and I can tell you right off the bat you’ll fair a hell of a lot better with the cops than I will.” He glanced over at her, shaking. “Why the hell wouldn’t you come out here with a jacket? For fucks sake.” He shrugged off his suit coat and offered it to her so she could put it around her fancy dress herself. “Here. Put this on before your nipples fall off.”

Peyton

"Because I was in a middle of a mild panic attack at the moment." Peyton pointed out and rolled her eyes as she grabbed the jacket. "Even though I've wore less in the cold, thanks." She slipped on the jacket and pulled it closer to her. After a while, the cops showed up and Peyton gave Derek his coat back after thanking him, knowing that she shouldve kept it on. She showed them where the body was before she followed one of the EMTs to get checked out. She felt a storm was brewing now and she didnt like what was going to become of it.

[mentalrubikzcube-blog]

Confront Yourself Ch. 2

Chapter 2 We arrived at the hospital and I was rushed inside. I only caught a few images of what was going on because my eyes were still very strained and sore. My head was also still trying to work up the strength to make sense of all of this. Daya stayec at my side. She was alwats there for me. I even saw Spitz there. Daya threw him out. Apparently there was a bit more to the story. Daya woukd later on confide in me that Spitz originally was gonna bring me to the hospital in his car and as he was "helping" me in he got rather "handsy". Daya had been looking for me and checked if I was smoking, which was the go to spot if I'm not waitressing. She saw Spitz and called the police and 911. I was completely unconcious the whole time and dont remember the assault or the fainting. It had to be from lack of sleep. Once the nicotine hit my sytem combined with Spitz's rage, I guess it was too much and I collapsed. I cant belive, well actually I can, but still. How could you take advantage of your employmee? Who am I kidding, its Connor Spitzman were talking about. Scoundrel extrordinare. After sometime in the ICU, I was aloud to go home and told to get rest and take a week off work. Daya stressed to the nurse that she would make sure I made a full recovery. She definitely would hold hold up her end of the bargin. She took me home and tucked me into bed. Very little was said. We both knew that I needed to just rest. What was there to talk sbout anyway, it had been a traumatic day for us both. She needed rest just like I did. When I suggested she stay the night she about cried. Daya was one of the few who knew that extending an invitation like that wasnt common for me. She thanked me and got the couch ready for her to sleep later. After a wonderful dinner of chicken cordon bleu and golden potatoes we both headed to bed. I fell back into my deep space sleep. It felt good to let go and finally recharge. As I lay there, I Kofeel tears roll down my cheeks. Why am I crying?  I thought to myself. I wiped them away and fell again into my comatose sleep. Numb. Black. Perfect. Serene. Gone too quick. Before I knew it Daya had brought me breakfast in bed. Waffles, eeggs, bacon, mixed berries, orange juice, even a side of cinnamon butter, and finally a little vase with wildflowers. The works. "Wow, thanks D." I was so grateful to gave someone who cared about me so much. She smiled and headed out of the room. Returning with my Firefly mug filled with rich Columbine coffee. "Three packs of sugar and just enough cream to coat your throught so you can drink more, right?" Daya chuckled I smiled. She knew me so well. Now before you getbthe wrong idea. No, she is not my girlfriend. She is however my best friend and I would literally die without her. She keeps me grounded and I do my best to do the same for her. After breakfast, coffee, and a morning smoke I wanna get out and go for a walk. If I'm gonna be on sick leave then I atleast wanna get some fresh air and get outside. That's the best way to feel better if youre system is upset. I tried to go for walks whenever I need to clear my head or just feel better in general. As I was getting ready Daya was in my ear telling me about how what if I fainted again and that I needed to be careful, I assured her I would be and she finally relented and let me go on my walk. I walked up the street and around a few corners. I passed pretty neighborhoods and not so pretty ones. I finally came upon a small strip mall. I wondered along the siewalk gazing st the colorful and vast stores that were included by one another. Matress store. Carribean dining. Hat repair place. Subway. I kept walking and then I saw a shop worth looking into, it was called Miss Lovely Lovely's Curio Cabinet. From the outside it looked like a vintage bookstore. I opened the door and it triggered a little bell. A lady emerged from a chair and greeted me warming then the sun after a long frost, "Hello traveler, may I offer you some Egyptian cinnamon tea?" She was a very sweet old lady. She had long almost transparent white hair and her eyes were an emerald green. Very shiny and flawless. "No thank you." I repiled. I looked around the shop in amazement. There were so many things. Clothes, books, toys, trinkets galore, and so much more. "Look around dear and let me know if you need anything." She said sitting back down. I did just that. This place was fasicinating. Vintage and modern stuff mingled together. It was beautiful and kept blinking thinking it was a dream. How have I not been here before? I ask myself. After looking at the jewlery and clothes, I gravitate to the books. After looking throught many titles I was compelled to ask her if she had a book that could help me sleep. That space sleep was temporary and I know it. "Ma'am, do have anything about insomnia?" She smiledcat my request. She disappered to the back and reappeared with a small brown leather bound book without a name. "I was hoping you would have come sooner, Reylnn Yorfath." Shd said my name, How did she know my name? I pondered in horror "Wwww-ho arrrrre you?" I stuttered "Miss Lovely Lovely of course." She chuckled "I go by many names, but that isnt important, you need this book to fix what you have broken." I didnt know what to do, so I accepted the book with no name and looked it over. It was rather tiny snd the pages were stained from the years. It also had a vintage air about it. Flipping through I saw that many of the paragraphs had multiple sentences underlined. It was very intriguing. I still didnt understsnd how she knew my name, but I wanted that book. "Hhhhh-ow much?" I asked, sounding like an idiot "No dear, this is a gift, before you can be at peace you must confront yourself." She said lovingly "Thank you." I said quietly tucking the book into my purse, I slowly made my way out of the store still amazed and looking around. Once outside I immediately light a cigarette. What just happened? I asked myself I began to make my way back to the house before Daya got worried. When I got to the front door, I looked in the window and saw Daya was sitting on the couch reading a book. I love the way her hair shimmers in the sun. To be honest I might have a slight crush on Daya, but I would never tell her. It woukd ruin our friendship. Anyway, I make my way inside and greeted her. She immediately started into how far I walkdd and if I took breaks as to not get too tired and pass out again. "Yes, Mom, I made sure to be careful." I teased her, she got a little frustrated but eventually laughed it off. I set my things down and told her about the little shop. She had never hesrd of it before. Weirdly, she checked the internet for it but there was nothing as if it didnt even exsist. Then Daya became a litte worried and asked me, "Are you sure you went there? Maybe your head is messing with you. I told you, you needed more rest." Daya huffed and looked at me concerned. I had left out the part about the book thinking she would freak out, I was even happier now I hadnt. I knew what I saw. It was real. Everything happened just like that. But then I began to question. Had I really gone there? Theres nominternet listing and my mind has been being weird lately. I swore it really happened thought. It seemed so real. Thoughts swirled around my head and I knew I had to see if I had the book. But I didnt want Daya to see and ask me about it. She woukd think I was crazy. I said rather shyly, "Well, I'm gonna go get some rest then. I guess my head is just still messed up. Anyway thanks Daya." Then I slipped away to my room with my purse. Once insixe inside I closed the door and locked it. I put the purse on the bed and stuck my hand inside. I felt my wallet, perfume, sunglasses, smokes, lighter, and other odds and ends. Where was the book? Had I really imagined all of that? I began to think to myself. Suddenly I panicked and thought once more, Am I going crazy? Did I hit my head harder then I thought? Is this insomnia eating away at my memory and thought patterns? I started to shake a bit, but I looked once more in my purse. Wallet, keys, sunglasses, BOOK! It was there. How had I skipped it the first time? Or was my mind just playing tricks on me again? I didnt know. All I knew was that I had the book and now I could finally cure my insomnia. I sat on the bed and began to read. I was shocked by how accurate and headon this stuff was. Before I knew it Daya was knocking on my door for dinner. I stashed the book under my pillow. Because for whatever reason I didnt wanna spark her curiosity. I wanted this treasure all to myself. I unlocked the door and met Daya in the living room. Waiting for me was shrimp and rigatoni. It smelled amazing. I couldnt wait to dive in. Daya gave me the pills the doctor perscribed and we ate. After a great meal and equally great converstaion we both agreed it was time for bed. "You need anything?" Daya asked as I was brushing my teeth. I shook my head. We echanged goodnights and she shut of the lights. I slid into my room, anxious to see what else the book said. Already it had me addicted. I was somewhat experiencing withdrawl when at dinner. Which I thin was more guilt then anything. I wanted to tell Daya, I really did, but I knew she wouldnt understand. So I would keep it to myself until I knew for sure it cured me of this insanity which I was desperately on the brink of. I read to myself, "Life is defined as the state or quality that distinguishes living beings from dead ones and from inorganic matter, characterized chiefly by metabolism, growth, and the ability to reproduce and respond to stimuli. The period between birth and death. But to Live means something else entirely. Live is defined as to remain alive, be alive, to exsist in a specified way. We all are given Life, but seldom do any of us Live. We need to live. Be alive and go out and enjoy the world. Get out of our comfort zones. Aid our fellow man and conquer the earth the way The Creator intended. For out Creator is Life and we only Live through Him. For the wages of sin are death, but the Gift of our Creator is Eternal Life through His Son. All you must do is believe." I shut the book and rolled my eyes, "Great, a religious book, but still how did she know I was gonna come in there, I mean Im sure she gives everyone the same book but how did she know my name?" I wondered to myself, I didnt know how to explain all of it, so I decided to try an sleep. I place the book on my nightstand, roll over, and pull the blanket up. Maybe I'd give the book another chance tomorrow, even for being a religious book it wasnt bad. I fade into a deep sleep and I'm standing in a meadow. The breeze is light and airy. I gaze around at the cloud filled blue sky and the crisp green grass benath me. Out of nowhere I hear a voice say, "Do not be afraid, whom I have chosen. For I will pour water on the thirsty land, and streams on the dry ground; I will pour out My Spirit on your offspring, and My blessing on your descendants. They will spring upnlike grass in a meadow, like poplar trees by flowing streams. I am the First and the Last. Apart from Me there is nothing. All who make idolsare nothing, and the things they treasure are worthless. Those who would speak up for them are blind; they are ignorant, to their own shame. No one stops to think, 'Is not this thing in my hand a lie?' Such a person feeds on ashes, a deluded heart misleads him, he cannot save himself. I have made you,  you are My servant. I have swept away your offenses lime a cloud, your sins like the morning mist. Return to Me, for I have redeemed you. Sing for joy, you heavens, for the Creator has done this. Shout aloud, you earth beneath. Burst into song, you mountains, you forests and all you trees, for the Creator has redeemed you, He displays His Glory before you. Be gratious and humble becore your Creator!" While the voice spoke everything around me was changing constantly. Before I knew it I was no long err in the meadow but up in space looking at earth from above. Just floating along in space with no problems. Then suddenly I was in the mountains looking down on the majesticness of the world down below. Then suddenly I was deep in the woods and the wind wooshed about creating a harmonious rhythm through the branches and the leaves. I was amazed by everything I saw. Out of nowhere there was a flash of lightning and booming of thunder. I instinctively dropped down out of fright. I heard the same voice one more and it spoked louder now, "I am the Alpha and Omega, The beginning and the end, there is nothing without Me. Nothing! Bow before your Creator you miserable creation." I got down on my knees and bowed, and in the blink of an eye I was back in my apartment in my bed like nothin happened. What just happened? I thought to myself. I fell back asleep after much tossing and turning, no crazy dreams this time. Just a deep deep deep sleep.