#the only other significant named animal i can recall from my childhood was the huge cat named othello

[moodr1ng]

when i was a little girl i called all my stuffed animals emma bc i thought it was the best name out there and now whenever i meet a girl called emma at the club i tell them about this and its like the lamest story to tell someone at the club but also its the truth. i think i may still have an emma dog Somewhere though not sure where atp

[yzkhr]

Part two of the Love Language miniseries!

Once again, I dedicate this to one of my favorite Shinran authors, @meitanteisachi

Part three might take a little while since I'm in my lazy mode. So please forgive me if the next part will be late 🤧

Warning: Probably my longest fic ever. So long that I need to divide into two parts. I kinda got carried away.

-

Receiving Gifts-You feel loved and appreciated when your partner or someone gives you a gift. It doesn't need to expensive, just something sentimental and thoughtful.

She was seven when Ran received her first memorable gift from Shinichi.

She remembered how It had been a month since her mother moved away, turning her life upside down. At a young age, Ran forced herself to be responsible; learning how to cook without burning the food, doing household chores that her father never knew how to do, and taking care of both a child who's too young and a grown man who's too immature and broken to live on his own.

It vastly made a growth and development in her character. Teachers and classmates alike noticed the way she had matured, from the way she handled her emotions—always putting on a smile and being the bigger one in the petty fights— to her mannerisms and gestures that resembled an older sister.

To them, her mother leaving became somewhat a good thing, with her maturity blooming early.

If only that were true.

No one knew that as soon as she opened the door of the empty detective office, Ran would be filled with her mother's presence; Hearing her voice, seeing her face, and even missing her scolding. Instead of saying anything to her father however, she brushes it off, puts on a facade, being a mother, a wife, and a daughter all at the same time to a drunk and emotionally unstable man.

But at the end of each day, entering her room and not crying was impossible. Her eyes watering at the sight of the empty bed that used to be filled with her mothers' scent, all gone. And like the child that she was—that she should be— she would sobbed and whimper silently, until exhausted enough to close her eyes and unaware that there's no one beside her just to sleep.

Ran was sure no one knew or was even remotely aware of her secret. After all, her smile shined and eyes glimmered in school so different from the distraught face she wears each night since last month.

But she had underestimated him.

On the day of her birthday, everyone greeted her with their own set of trinkets and gifts. Most were letters and drawings, filled with gratitude and love through the used of poorly executed writings and simple but meaningful pictures. Ran was happy to received all of them, whether they were small—like a piece of her favorite candy— or expensive and big, such as the dress given to her by Sonoko.

But unlike all her other birthdays, she didn't feel as contented and satisfied. There laid a gnawing feeling inside of her, aware that she'll never have what she truly wished for.

As they walked home from school, Ran expected Shinichi to give her at least some sweets. So, when he invited her to come by his house she agreed with a nod, genuinely having no idea.

So, she stood for a few minutes outside the mansions' gates, reading out some letters to pass time. She became so engrossed at reading that she didn't even notice him go outside until he was finally in front of her. Catching a set of feet just in front, she looked up. Her eyes widened as soon as she saw a fairly large and fluffy inanimate object in Shinichi's hands, holding it out to her.

"Here you go, Happy Birthday, Ran." he greeted, tilting his head on the side behind the cute teddy bear grinning from ear to ear. Instinctively, Ran accepted his gift and brought it close to her chest, feeling it's soft synthetic fur.

She slowly scrutinized it, it's features somewhat reminding her of...

"M-mom?" whispering incredulously, she glanced at Shinichi. Still wearing a smile, he nodded.

"That's right. Even if you don't talk about it, I know you miss your mom. You've been crying a lot too--"

"I wasn't crying!" she denied, but her mask slipped a little when he deadpanned.

"Yes you were," he stated calmly, as if he saw her doing so. She glared.

"How would you know? I never cried in school!"

"I'm sure before we go to school you do. Your eyes were always a little red and puffy when entering the class after all." he argued back. Instead of being embarrassed, Ran found something more important to point out.

"You were watching me?" she questioned, eyes curious. She didn't know why, but the thought of Shinichi watching and observing her made her smile(and a little nervous).

In an instant, gone was the confident and composed childhood friend of hers, image being ruined by his immediate coughing as if he swallowed a huge thing, cheeks flushed a healthy red, and a stuttering mess as he negated her claim.

"B-Barou! Those were just coincidences!!" then he slightly looked away, seemingly afraid to meet her violet orbs. Scratching his still blushing cheeks, he changed the topic.

"W-Well, Happy Birthday. You can use that stuff animal when you feel, you know, lonely." he dazed off, then glanced over her shoulder. As if realizing something significant, his eyes widened.

"It's already sun down! You gotta go home now or Occhan is gonna scold me!"

Ran followed his advice right after. As soon as she arrived home, she found her father in a sober state, and was even the one who tried to cook dinner for the both of them. Eri called later that night, which made Ran happy. She still asked her mother when the woman will come home and Eri would always reply with a vague answer. She didn't pressure her mother anymore, not wanting to ruin both their day.

That night as she entered her room, strangely enough, Ran didn't feel lonely. She also didn't feel the need to exhaust herself, now having a sweet stuff animal to comfort and fill her warmth. She settled on her soft bed, hugging the teddy bear tightly. And for the first time since her mother's moving away, Ran didn't cry.

-

They were thirteen, she recalled, when she received her second most thoughtful gift from him.

"Hey Ran, did you find the kitten?" Ran glanced up, hearing her name from Sonoko. She shook her head as an answer.

"It's still missing. I tried asking around but they said they never saw it." her bestfriend looked at her worriedly, knowing what she was thinking.

A few days ago, her, Sonoko, and Shinichi found a little ball of fur on their way home from school. They all took pity, Ran specially. So, the three teenagers took upon themselves to look after it until just a week ago, it disappeared. They searched everywhere around the area, trying to spot a little black kitten with huge and round green eyes. Unfortunately, they never succeeded.

Seeing Ran's mood depleted, Sonoko patted her back as comfort, grinning.

"Don't worry about it! I'm sure it has found an owner by now." Ran smiled, being reassured but still a bit dissatisfied. She decided to adopt the kitten after all but it was still nowhere to be seen.

To lighten the mood, Sonoko changed the topic to new shops, magazine, and gossips. Since the teacher was late, the Suzuki Heiress was unstoppable.

Rans' attention was grabbed however, when a certain someone entered the classroom. He was yawning, not bothering to hide his sleepiness. Rubbing his blue eyes languidly, she noticed how the dark circles under them became even more pronounced than before. Her eyes also became aware that there were some lines seared into his skin—scratch marks.

As if conscious that someone was watching him, Shinichi turned his head around, meeting weary blue with observing violet. It only lasted for a second, with the former looking away and going straight to his desk.

Shinichi had been acting weird lately. It started a week before, with him telling Ran that he would be late and she can just go ahead without him. True enough, he always came late ever since, which normally rarely happens.

Another thing to note would be his physical state. He looked restless, eyebags so obvious along with the constant yawning and even sometimes sleeping through an entire period. The last part wasn't new, but Ran heeded how easily he fell asleep, unlike back then where he needed to toss and turn his head for a comfortable position.

The last thing to caught her eye would be the little scratch marks. She would've been convinced that it was another case but seeing the scrape from his arms threw her off guard. They were shallow, but it didn't wave off her suspicions any less.

So, Ran decided that after class, she would visit him, whether he liked it or not.

The day went by rough, with Ran not being able to focus thanks to a sleeping classmate who looked far too exhausted for a normal student. Sonoko, looking at her stressed friend, ask her out to eat that sounded too appealing but she had to refused, knowing that if she didn't find out the reason for her best friend's odd behavior, she'll be the one to act weird next.

Knowing Shinichi's detective instinct, Ran knew better than to follow him on the get go and get caught. She waited an hour around the area, before making her way to the Kudo Mansion. The only problem now was how to enter without being seen.

She treaded through the stone path, finding the gate unlock. The middle schooler shook her head, both thankful and a little scared. What could he be so busy about for him to forget closing the gate?

Once Ran reached the front door and checked, that's when the immense feeling of worry kicked in. Shinichi also forgot to close the front door!

'What's happening to him? Is a case stressing him this much? Did something terrible happened? Why isn't he telling me--'

Her thoughts were abruptly stopped when the sound that something metallic fell reached her ears, making her anxiety increased tenfold.

Wasting no time and completely losing her initial target, Ran rushed in like lightning, fear evident in every step.

Upon reaching the kitchen and thoughts of her bestfriend in danger flooding her senses, she barged in.

Only to find the great detective Kudo Shinichi rubbing his head, and a couple of pans and plastic bowls scattered around the tiled flooring.

They gaped at each other, unable to register the current scenario. Ran was broken out of her trance however, when she noticed a light bump growing on the top of his head, which he was rubbing a while ago before he froze.

Previous distress setting in once again, Ran hurried by her childhood friends' side, helping him to stand.

"What happened?" she asked, examining and touching the bump. As if electrified by their contact, he flinched and backed away slightly, eyes a bit hazy.

"R-Ran, what are you doing here?" he seemed more concern of her presence than his own well being which made her glare.

"You've been acting weird this past week!" she accused as he treaded away from her, a bit too cautious. She took note of how his left hand slid behind him, fully intending to hide something away from her sight.

"Weird what, me? Barou, I've been perfectly normal. You're just overacting." the response didn't sound so convincing when he was literally sweating and avoiding her scrutiny.

"Yeah, then why were you always late this week?" the interrogation began.

"I was busy with a case Megure-keibu presented me, that's why." gaining his composure, Shinichi answered in a confident manner but that didn't drop any of her suspicions.

"Then what about you being constantly tired these days?" Ran pressed on, ambulating near her suspect. he kept his ground, so sure she was the one who was weird, not him.

"The case was so hard that I couldn't find time to sleep." he casually said, looking bored and done with the questioning.

She kept on walking towards slowly and when she was finally in front of him, she smiled innocently.

"Okay then, I have one last question to ask," he smiled, thinking he won. Then, feigning obliviousness, he consented.

"Fire away."

With those words as her signal, Ran forcefully yanked his left arm that he had been so carefully shielding and him having no time to react, she succeeded, revealing the scratch marks as her last piece of evidence and a.... kitten!?

Silence ensued. Until a mewl came out fromm the little ball of fur. Ran examined the little thing, coming to her conclusion.

"Please don't tell me this was the little kitten that's been missing since last week." she quietly pleaded for him to deny, but all he offered was a gulp and a weary nod.

Anger and bewilderment filled Ran, as she shook her head as an attempt to calm, but seeing the kitten that she had been desperately looking for, for the past few weeks made her burst.

"Why didn't you tell me you had the cat!? You knew that I was looking all over the neighborhood! I even told you I was going to take care of it--"

"That's exactly why I took it!" he interrupted, his excuse perplexing her thoughts even more than before.

"What?" he sighed and put the little kitten down gently, moving to the counter and sitting on one of the tools.

"Well, remember when you first tried to take it home? It was really aggressive, wasn't it?"

She did remember her hand getting scratch and almost bitten when she endeavored to adopt it. So, she gave a nod.

"Well, knowing what you were planning to do, I decided to take it to a friend of mom's who happened to be a vet and get it checked just to make sure. She said it was fine but it seemed a bit violent to humans so she advised me to take care of it so that it will get used to the environment. Knowing you, you would've been dumb enough to just take it without any examination and might get yourself really injured." she tried to refute his last statement but decided against it, knowing he was probably right.

But there was one thing that didn't made sense. "Then why didn't you tell me about it? If I had known I wouldn't have wasted my time, you know." hearing her question made him clearly uncomfortable, eyes now travelling anywhere but hers and cheeks tainted a light pink. They kept quiet, him contemplating while Ran patiently waited.

Knowing his loss, the detective whispered but she still heard it. "I was planning to give it to you next week. I just wanted it to be a surprise."

For some really unexplainable reason, Ran felt her heart beating faster than normal that she might die, face heating up, and even having a stampeding elephant on the pit of her stomach.

"Shinichi..." she uttered, not knowing what to say. Still looking the other way, he misinterpreted her calling as scolding.

"I know, I know. I shouldn't have done that. I should've told you properly and you wouldn't have to put so much effort into finding--"

His next lines were suddenly gone when she wordlessly went in front of his sitting figure and patted his hair softly, just like petting a feline. He stammered and tried to speak but found himself to be voiceless by her next words.

"Thank you, I really appreciate it..." she wanted to say more but was being suffocated by the swarming butterflies in her stomach, not allowing her to do so.

"You better be..." he mused, trying to lighten the mood and to calm his racing heart. As if by magic, he felt a sudden urge to close his eyes and lean on her posture, loving the way she stroke his hair so gently. And so he did.

Ran was taken aback by the unforeseen intimacy but didn't complain. They stayed like that for a few minutes, until she felt almost all of his weight on her, coupled with his heavy breathing that she concluded he fell asleep.

Slowly, she moved him to the sofa of the living room, all the while trying to not burst at the feeling of his breath on her neck. Succeeding, she grabbed a pillow and a blanket from his room, finally setting him down on the couch.

Ran couldn't help but feel guilty, finally figuring out that she was the reason of all his strange behavior all along. It explained his worn out expression throughout the entire week, having to take care of an aggressive kitten without having any prior experience must be exhausting, and it showed through his sleepless nights and lack of energy at everything in class.

Then, her eyes travelled to the little scratches and wounds all over his arms. They were nothing serious, but they must have at least sting. Wanting to at least alleviate the pain, Ran brought the first aid kid from his room and tenderly tended to all of the gashes and marks, and him not even flinching one bit despite being supposedly a heavy sleeper, became proof of how much time and effort he put for her surprise.

Ran went home that day, carrying his gift with her. She knew that he was supposedly giving this next week, but the teenager was pretty sure that Shinichi wouldn't be able to handle another week of torture like that. So, she left a note to make sure he didn't worry.

Years passes after that, but Ran would never forget the kitten he gave her, and the inexplicable giddy feeling with it. Sonoko would remind her how happy she was that she couldn't physically stop smiling for a while that it weirded many out but personally for Ran, it was worth it.

-

(Has a part 2 because it's so unnecessary long)

[the-awkward-outlaw]

Hello! Can you do something with a very (VERY) clingy Arthur and a female reader. Modern times. Like she could be doing things and he calls a lot or texts a lot. But he does it outta love and cuz he’s scared of losing her

You’ve been in a relationship with Arthur for nearly a year. He works on a ranch only about thirty minutes out of the city you live in. There’s something incredibly refreshing about dating a rancher. Perhaps it’s the fact that he doesn’t live in the city, or that he retains a certain sense of masculinity that you find attractive. It’s not toxic luckily and Arthur’s always held a respect for you and other women, but he still holds himself to a certain standard. Plus he looks super good in his rugged clothes, worn out by years of use and faded by long hours in the sun. 

Every weekend, you’ll go and stay at his place. He offered to switch with you every other weekend to stay in your apartment, but you need the break from the crowded city and the rude people who live there. His ranch, nestled in a bowl made by mountains and cradled in a forest, is exactly the kind of release you need every week, even in the bitter cold winters. He doesn’t mind of course, and you know it saves him some money so he won’t have to hire someone to tend his livestock for two days. 

When you first started dating Arthur, he was incredibly respectful of your space and time, but after you were together for six months and finally slept together, something in him changed. Something better. He became more open with you and more touchy. You’d always been a bit touch-averted, a product of your childhood and a general distrust of people. There was something about him that made you able to warm up to him. You even found yourself longing for his touch and it didn’t help that when he held you against him, you fit like a puzzle piece. 

Over the last three months you’ve been with him, he’s gotten a little more clingy. He texts you every day, usually just asking how you are and what you’re up to. He also likes to video call you just about every night. When he first started doing it, you were kind of skeeved out about it, worried he’d be getting possessive, jealous, or suspicious. Your previous boyfriend was like that. He demanded you show him all the texts you’d sent over a period of the last few days, constantly accusing you of cheating without any proof. You weren’t, of course and then you found out after a couple of months that he was. You were worried when Arthur would ask where you were, suspicious he’d accuse you of cheating. He never did though, he just said he wanted to make sure you were safe. 

Arthur doesn’t like the city, he never has. It’s too crowded for his taste, the people too selfish. Sure, his small town has its problems, of course. The youth in it are particularly involved in drugs and underaged drinking, but there’s a strong sense of community and friendliness to it. Everyone looks out for each other and helps one another. Something you’ve never seen in the city. But Arthur’s dislike of the city leads him to constantly worry about you. He fears you getting attacked, robbed or even in a car accident. That’s why he likes to check in on you once a day, just to be sure you’re safe. 

When Arthur first started doing this, you were worried he’d demand to go through your phone like your last boyfriend did. However, never once did he ask you to unlock your phone so he could go snooping through it. He never even asked for the code to unlock it. Once, you asked him why, incredibly suspicious. He looked shocked that you thought he’d want to do something like that. “Your privacy is somethin’ ain’t no one got a right to, darlin’,” he said. “I ain’t ever gonna try and invade that.” 

After that, your trust of him grew even more and so did your relationship. It’s been nearly a year now and you’re absolutely crazy about him. You also long for his lifestyle. Sure, your job pays a little more, but you’ve helped him on the weekends at his ranches and there’s something satisfying about the work. The constant movement, being outdoors, interacting with the animals. You’ve grown particularly fond of one of his mares he named Boadicea. You’ve found yourself fantasizing more and more about doing that full time, quitting your job in the city and just living with Arthur. You doubt it could happen though. There simply isn’t enough money in it, which you hate thinking that way, but in this world, you simply can’t get by without some means of decent money. 

The physical distance hasn’t put a damper in your relationship, though. You were afraid for the first few months that it would be the thing to break you apart. Part of you still fears that, but you recall a night from two months back. One of his fears came true when you were in a car accident. It wasn’t your fault and it wasn’t bad, though it totaled your car. You’d been sitting at a light when someone, who was suspected to be on their phone, slammed into the rear of your car. Luckily no one was hurt, but it shook you up quite a bit. As you sat on the side of the road while the police worked on cleaning things up, you called Arthur and told him what happened. He lived over thirty minutes away from where you were, but he got there in twenty. When he got there, he almost looked like he wanted to deck the person who hit you in the face, but he didn’t. He stayed close to you the entire time and when the police had your car towed and said you could leave, he helped you into his truck and drove you immediately to an instacare room. You said you felt fine, but he wanted to be absolutely sure you were okay. After a checkup, the doctor deemed you’d be fine, just sore for a few days. 

Arthur drove you home that night and as soon as you’d changed into some comfy pajamas, he threw a blanket around you and held you close. It was a good thing too, because the shock set in then and you began to shake and cry. He held you the entire night. He stayed with you for a week as well, only going back to his ranch when you were at work. He drove you there and picked you up everyday until you got your insurance money and were able to buy a new car. Arthur helped you pick it and you loved it. It got better mileage than your last did, which meant you didn’t have to waste so much gas on the weekends when you went to see him. 

You’re headed home now and  your phone dings. It’s probably Arthur, texting you to make sure you’re okay. When you reach a light you know won’t change for a few moments, you pick up the phone. Instead of the usual, it says: “face time tonight?” You reply, “Yes”.

As soon as you’re home and settled to be in your house the rest of the night, you open your laptop and call him up. He responds immediately with a big grin. 

“Hey, sweetheart. I, uh, I wanted to talk to ya about something,” he says. 

“I do too, honey.”

He invited you to go first and you rush into the news quickly. “I talked with the higher ups at my work. They said they could get me set up to work remotely from my laptop, but that I’d still have to come in on Tuesdays for the weekly meetings.”

His face splits into a grin. “That’s funny, because what I wanted to ask ya goes along with that. Darlin’, I was thinkin’ we could move in together. You could live here, I know ya hate that apartment of yours.” 

You look around at said apartment. You have hated it here. Three long years of paying for three overpriced rooms with a landlord who hardly gives two shits about anything that goes wrong with it. And a lot goes wrong since it’s an older building. 

“You’d be okay with that?” you ask. “I know you’ve lived alone for the past few years.” 

He told you about how he grew up with his uncles Dutch and Hosea, who owned the ranch and took him in as a young boy. They passed away a few years back, leaving Arthur alone. 

“Darlin’, if I wasn’t okay, I wouldn’t be asking you. Besides, like you said, I been alone these past few years. I’m ready for somethin’ different. What do you think?” 

Your face splits into a huge grin and you tell him how excited you are. He chuckles and then says he has a surprise for you. Before you can ask him what it is, he disconnects. You try texting him and even calling him, wondering if your service is having problems again. Another problem with this damn apartment. 

Thirty minutes later, a knock comes on your door and Arthur walks in, holding a bundle of beautiful flowers. As soon as he walks in, he pulls you into his arm and kisses you. “You’ve made me a very happy man, Y/N. I just hope…” 

“You have made me happy,” you say, cupping his cheek. “I am so excited to live with you! Your ranch is gorgeous.” 

“I was just thinking maybe living out there could do you some good, darlin’. Help you heal.”

You kiss him softly. “I’ve no doubt about that. But why’d you get me flowers, Arthur? Did…. did you take them out of your garden? You shouldn’t have! It’s not even Valentine’s Day.” 

He chuckles, letting you talk. “I’d rather get you flowers I grew myself on a random Thursday rather than some overpriced, half dead common roses on the day everyone else gets them for their significant other. I just want ya to know how much I love you.” 

He kisses you again and you respond by taking his hand and leading him to your bedroom. You’re suddenly excited for everything the future has in store. 

[recentanimenews]

OPINION: The Life and Times of an Indian Otaku

  Makoto Shinkai's Weathering With You marked a historic first in my anime watching career. Contrary to popular belief, being the first anime to be released in Indian theaters is not the historic first in question (that honor goes to Shinchan: Bungle in the Jungle). Rather, Weathering With You would become the first film I'd ever watch on opening day — "first day first show" as we Indians call it. In the mad scramble to get tickets, I'd emerged a winner. Was it worth the struggle?

An emphatic yes. It was so good I went on to rewatch it twice.

    To fans in India: I’m so happy to tell that ‘Weathering With You’ (Tenki no ko) will release in India this October! We have licensed the Indian distribution rights to PVR Pictures and BookMyShow backed company Vkaao.

— 新海誠 (@shinkaimakoto) August 10, 2019

  The Indian theatrical release of Weathering With You in 2019 marked an important moment in the history of the Indian anime fandom. The story of how Shinkai noticed (and fulfilled) an online petition by Indian fans asking for its release here is already the stuff of legend. Because access to anime (especially in theaters) was so scarce in India, even in 2019, fans sought to have the film legally released in theaters. And thanks to Shinkai, it worked. To Indian anime fans, this represented the moment Japan — and the rest of the world — recognized our existence in the fandom. But Indian otakus didn't spring up overnight. Anime has had nearly three decades of history here. It just looks a little different than the rest of the world. The origins of anime in India go back to the '90s. Prior to the economic reforms of 1991, we had one — yes, only one — TV channel, the state-owned Doordarshan. The post-1991 wave of private TV channels brought with it a flood of international TV shows, among them anime like Robotech (which aired on the newly-created Star Plus). Ramayana: The Legend of Prince Rama, the anime adaptation of the Indian mythological epic of the same name, was released in 1992 and had a long and troubled production history, but the end product was a grand success, with its all-star Hindi cast and catchy songs turning it into a TV fixture for well over a decade. It even received a US release, with Bryan Cranston voicing the lead role. The remainder of the '90s would see various anime achieve varying degrees of success, from Nippon Animation's 1989 adaptation of The Jungle Book — which became a nationwide hit — airing in India starting in 1993, to late-night anime like You're Under Arrest and Gunsmith Cats. Despite this, there wasn't yet an actual fandom surrounding anime at the time. That would all change upon the turn of the century.

  Cartoon Network revolutionized the Indian anime market when the channel arrived in 2001. The launch of dedicated anime programming block Toonami brought with it two anime that would permanently shape the future of the fandom: Dragon Ball Z and Cardcaptor Sakura (albeit in its heavily-edited Cardcaptors form). While I never watched Dragon Ball Z (compared to all my friends at school), I did watch some Cardcaptors with my sister, which would actually be the very first anime I watched. My own viewing habits notwithstanding, DBZ was very much the anime of the moment. Schoolkids would frequently shout out famous lines from the iconic English dub. We'd even invented various hand games based on attacks and moves from DBZ. In 2003, another monumental shift would come as the childhood classic Pokémon hit the small screen, followed closely by Digimon, Yu-Gi-Oh!, and Beyblade. The merchandise associated with these franchises turned them into smash hits with a younger audience. All the cool kids had Pokemon cards and Beyblade tops. Battling with them at school was the stuff childhood was made of. To this day, these toys continue to sell well. Beyblade tournaments are still very much a thing. While many of my schoolmates were avid fans of DBZ, there were other trends in anime that could be observed, trends that had to do with language. From my experience, certain anime were only available dubbed in Hindi — a language spoken largely by the northern half of the country. Coming from a south Indian city with a significant north Indian population, I could observe a clear trend wherein Hindi-speaking north Indians grew up with these Hindi-dubbed anime, while people in the south (who spoke other languages) largely grew up with titles that were available in English (or Tamil, as fans of DBZ's Tamil dub can testify). Interestingly, these Hindi dubbed anime tended to be ones that were popular in Japan but not so much in the West — stuff like Doraemon, Shin-Chan, KochiKame, and Case Closed. This gave the north Indian anime scene a rather unique flavor. An even more interesting case is that of India's northeastern region (comprised of states like Nagaland, Manipur, and Meghalaya). Being culturally different from the rest of India, these states have had a history of consuming Korean and Japanese media, and they embraced anime and manga in a way the rest of the nation had not. Anime-related cosplay is huge in the northeast, with some of the best cosplay conventions in the nation taking place there and becoming a part of the local fashion scene. The general acceptance of otaku culture in the region continues to be high.

Eventually, anime would become a little more accessible to all. The launch of dedicated channel Animax in 2004 represented another watershed moment in the fandom. The shows Animax brought over were unlike anything we'd seen in the medium. Shows like Bleach, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, Inuyasha, and K-On! redefined what anime meant for Indian audiences who had previously seen anime as a childhood interest and no different from other cartoons. As the channel slowly began to shift its focus to the older teen/young adult demographic, more mature anime like Cowboy Bebop, Hell Girl, Akira, and Welcome to the NHK challenged our conservative notions of what was acceptable to air on TV, especially considering these shows aired in daytime slots rather than late-night. This honeymoon period did not last. Animax was delisted by service providers in 2012. The years to come would be some of the most frustrating for us anime fans, as availability was at its most inconsistent and uncertain. While the channel attempted to make a comeback later on in 2016, it eventually disappeared for good in 2017. Despite all these problems, I look back on Animax fondly. Thanks to it, we became aware of the existence of the entity known as "anime." We began to actively seek out anime over other forms of animation. In short, it resulted in the formation of an actual fandom centered around anime. Anime fan clubs began to pop up in major cities like Mumbai, Delhi, Bangalore, and Kolkata. Widespread conventions outside of the northeast region came next. Anime Con India was started in 2010, followed closely by Delhi Comic-Con in 2011. Anime conventions in India are a curious thing. They are very unlike the sprawling, sophisticated conventions of the West. The funds simply aren't there for that sort of thing. I don't recall a single Indian anime convention that was attended by a voice actor, animator, or the like. So what are Indian cons about? In an interview with The Citizen, Anime Con India founder Nitesh Rohit talked about his reason for starting the con: "like any other belief and faith they all needed a temple to congregate (at)." This statement really resonates with me, and sums up what Indian cons are about. What they lack in scale and facilities, they make up for in intimacy and a feeling of togetherness. They are more or less small-scale events for anime fans to find other fans, to network with them, and basically feel less alone. Because feeling alone was part of the original Indian otaku experience. The early fandom was largely an urban phenomenon, as going to cons wasn't an option for everyone and the internet wasn't what it is today. So, you had these disconnected pockets of fans. People around you were unlikely to share your interest in anime and may have even judged you for it. The general consensus in India was (and still is) that animation is a medium for children. And remember, for a long time, anime accessibility varied by region. So, if you were lucky enough to find a kindred otaku, there was no guarantee they were into (or had even heard of) the same titles as you. This meant that we hadn't really had the ability to develop any sort of unique culture or traditions of our own. Things like going to cons, renting anime DVDs, memes and in-jokes — these things didn't exist for the vast majority of early fans who were school-going kids or college students of little means. A culture of our own wouldn't arise until much later — when that generation grew up.

  Of course, it wasn't just us who grew up — technology did, too. The internet became more ubiquitous. Social media and forums enabled us to network with each other regardless of location, in ways we'd never have imagined. To the scattered fandom of the early days, this has been nothing short of a blessing. The other big change ushered in by the internet was the era of streaming. Until then, most of our anime viewing took place on television and as previously stated, was not always very consistent. Accessibility improved greatly with the launch of Netflix in 2016. In today's India, Netflix is a household name, with a significant portion of young adults having access to a subscription. With a catalog of over 200 anime, Netflix has been responsible for pulling in many new fans. Plenty of people "come for the movies, stay for the anime." Series like My Hero Academia, Death Note, and One-Punch Man have become mainstream successes in this fashion, with a significant following even among non-anime fans. Another streaming service that is beginning to make inroads into the Indian market is Crunchyroll, with simulcasts like Boruto and originals like Tower of God, and the fact that it is free makes it accessible to anyone with an internet connection. Most Indian anime fans I know of have heard of Crunchyroll, and as more titles get licensed it is inevitable that its popularity will rise. And us otakus are doing plenty to help it do just that.

The success of Weathering With You is a shining example of the tight-knit nature of the Indian anime fandom. All it took was one person (an anime fan named Divishth Pancholi) to create a Change.org petition asking for its release in Indian theaters. The petition went viral, getting over 50,000 signatures and attracting the attention of Shinkai and the producers, resulting in its release here. Today, that event is seen as a smaller part of a greater Indian anime movement that is pushing for increased availability and acceptance of anime in India. Hashtags like #IndiaWantsAnime frequently make their presence felt on social media. This fandom isn't without its problems — it isn't the most inclusive when it comes to non-male fans, the "animation is for kids" specter hasn't been fully shaken off, and I'd love for anime BluRays/DVDs to be more widely available here. But I am grateful for the fandom's existence for getting me into anime in the first place. Without them, I'd have never been sitting in a movie theater on October 11, 2019, watching Weathering With You.

By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com

[entj-werewolf]

I actually got tagged, so I’ll give this a shot! Since it’s big, I’ll put it under the cut...

Tagged by: @unlimited-goldfish​

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people.

(As usual with the tagging part of rules, I also just let anyone do this if they want. Idk who to tag most of the time...)

LAST:

1. Drink: Water 2. Phone call: Can’t remember... I think my mom was the last to call me today? 3. Text message: Mainly to my little sister. I’d been texting her about some Splatoon stuff! 4. Song you listened to: Some Splatoon 2 music... 5. Time you cried: I don’t remember, but even if I did.... I’d keep that to myself, ahaa. Lots has been going on though.

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: Nope, never dated before either 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: I don’t like kisses, soooo I haven’t kissed anyone at all. I’d probably regret it if I did, tbh. 8. Been cheated on: Nah 9. Lost someone special: A few people, yep... 10. Been depressed: Boy, it was pretty bad when I was a kid I think. Came across some old journals of mine while cleaning through stuff recently, and yeesh, the bullying got to me worse than I remembered from that time. As of recent? I’m... Not too sure. I have drastic confidence drops under huge stress, but idk if they’re depressive states or not? Also, dealing with life loss is rough. I had a horrid time last year after losing my last grandparent. It’s still sometimes unpleasant to think about, so I try keeping my mind off of that... 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: No way. I hate alcohol anyhow... And I dislike dealing with drunk people.

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14: Green, Dark Purple, Dark Blue!

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: It’s not common that I outright make new friends. It’s mostly acquaintances and mutuals! Sooo, nah, haven’t technically made any new friends in the past year.

16. Fallen out of love: Haven’t had any feelings for anyone like that, so nope

17. Laughed until you cried: YEP. Great times...

18. Found out someone was talking about you: Ahh, yep... I’m talked about a lot by family, mostly in negative light. This is every year. RIP. 20. Found out who your friends are: Known that already before the past year! 21.  Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Heck nope

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Only irl people or trustworthy online friends of mine can have my Facebook, buuut... I hate that site. So I actually rarely go on it. (I only signed up ‘cause my family made me when I was a teen, pfffff) 23. Do you have any pets: YES! My black cat, Luna! 24. Do you want to change your name: I thought about this once or twice in my life, buuut I’m fine with Sarah for now. 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: I went out to a new place to try out its vegan donuts, and they had some fresh coconut too. So, as a bonus, I got to have coconut water fresh from the thing itself! With amazing donuts. It was a good start to my birthday - but the rest of my day was being stuck in Ikea for 3-freaking-HOURS with my mom and older sister. I forgot how bad my legs could hurt before that.... 26. What time do you wake up: Technically 11:30-something-am, but I couldn’t get out of bed until like.... 12pm. My sleep is screwed up again, yeah... 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Drawing, I think? 28. Name something you can’t wait for: Nintendo Switch Restocks... just PLEASE, EVERYTHING HOLY, GET THEM FREAKING RESTOCKED SO I CAN GET ONE. Besides that, I can’t wait to move on from my job to a better one. My job situation is driving me insane. 29. When was the last time you saw your mom? Just tonight when saying g’night to her, pffff 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: Hmmm.... Better luck in general would be nice. 2017 is like the freaking biggest pique of my bad luck from what’s happened so far. 31. What are you listening to right now: Still listening to Splatoon 2 music! 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I... Do not recall meeting or talking to a Tom in my life. 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: Lots of things... Mainly my job and money circumstance stuff.

34. Most visited website: I’m not 100% sure, but it miiiight be Youtube 35. Mole/s: I think so, but only the flat, not-dangerous types. I had one mole removed a couple of weeks ago though and..... That... was NOT pleasant. Turns out I do NOT have skin cancer, so that’s good?

36. Mark/s: Not that I’m sure of or remember atm, but I used to get scars pretty easily 37. Childhood dream: I wanted to be a veteranarian and actually would do a lot of side studies on my own about animals. This dream changed, of course, once I got older and learned more about what felt to be my “purpose” and I aim for that now. But I still like learning about animals and have scrambled knowledge on nature because of that! 38. Hair color: Dark brown 39. Long or short hair: Fairly long hair 40. Do you have a crush on someone: Nope! I have no idea what a crush feels like either..... 41. What do you like about yourself: Uhh... Hmm.... For several years, I’ve been liking my ambitious “energy” of sorts? Makes me feel like I’m living a full life as long as I’ve got that, hahaa... 42. Piercings: Nope, needles and anything that pierces my skin freaks me out to nauseous levels... 43. Blood type: If I recall correctly, it’s O negative; and apparently I can donate to most/all other blood types? (Too bad I don’t physically or mentally handle getting my blood drawn, otherwise I’d be fine with occasional donations to make use of that) 44. Nicknames? Wolf, Kat, or WolfKat - when people try referring to me based on my common online alias; “Fluffy” by some other people; and then freaking “furry” being a more rampant nickname by my friends recently..... -heavy sigh- 45. Relationship status: Single

46. Zodiac: Haven’t been much into this, but I only recall I’m Pisces ‘cause of my birthday. (Those Pisces descriptions are like the dang opposite of my MBTI type.....) 47. Pronouns: Just female stuff. I’ve been mistaken for a guy a lot online somehow, though.... I find it oddly amusing, pffffft. 48. Favorite TV Show: “Gravity Falls” and “[The] Slayers” are my top favorites, and I enjoy several other animated shows alongside these two!  50. Right or left hand: Left-handed pretty much, but I’ve taught myself to use my right hand decently for stuff like holding forks/spoons for eating. And I actually don’t like using left-handed computer mice... Regardless, I draw and write best with my left hand.

51. Surgery: Wisdom teeth surgery - which I had when I was 18 I think? That was a very weird experience for me. I’m glad I only talked to my close friends during the first part of my recovery... I would’ve died of regret if I tried posting anything online while I was drugged with pain killers and who knows what else. Eugh. 52. Hair dyed in different color: Nah, I like my natural hair color as is 53. Sport: Basketball! I’ve always liked this sport... I haven’t played in a long time though. 55. Vacation: My vacations in terms of travel and being fun for me, tend to be for conventions... Like Dragoncon and Momocon. Whenever they can be affordable, at least. 56. Pair of trainers: Idk what this refers to, sooo I looked it up. Synonymous with sneakers and tennis shoes, it seems? In that case, I have a few pairs of these ‘cause I LOVE sneakers/athletic shoes!

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: Not eating anything atm. I’m staying up late to wait for my acid reflux to chill the heck out, actually... (I can’t lay down when it gets like this. Ugh.) 58. Drinking: Some sips of water here and there. 59. I’m about to: Try and sleep, maybe. 62. Want: A lot. But for this very moment, I want to be able to lay down without feeling like I’ll throw up!

63. Get married: Nope. Probably never? Idk how to fit marriage into my future, and having to be in such a relationship like that is very.... Overwhelming and intimidating for me atm. 64. Career: I want my dream career right now but I don’t know when my skills will be professional enough for it so it’s just waiting and trying to find other jobs until then.... Game Development is my future, though.

65. Hugs or kisses: Hugs only. No kisses! 66. Lips or eyes: Huh? I dunno. I don’t like eye contact, aaannndd I have no idea what’s significant about lips. Just... Lips are lips? 67. Shorter or taller: No strong preference, but shorter people I tend to like being around the most (’cause lots of tall people treat me in an annoying way TBH. Like petting my head or trying to lean over me? Excuse you.) 68. Older or younger: Uhhh... ? In general, I don’t mind what age people are when I meet them... With friends, I tend to end up with lots of younger ones in my close circle. Very few are older than me. 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: I do not like either... Or caring about looks at all. Sooo, none/neither. 71. Sensitive or loud: I don’t like loudness in general (got sensitive hearing as well), so sensitive would be more preferrable. I mostly have sensitive friends too anyhow. 72. Hook up or relationship: Preferrably neither, but if I ever ended up in that kind of relationship, it would need to be under mutual merits and built from a deep friendship. No casual hook ups. 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: I tend to prefer hesitant people over troublemakers.... But some of my more mischievous friends can keep life interesting at times, hahaa

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a Stranger: Heck no 75. Drank hard liquor: Again, hate alcohol 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: I think I’ve lost my glasses once or twice? Those moments are true suffering 77. Turned someone down: Many times. Idk why people keep getting crushes on me... Like... Have mercy for once.... 78. Sex on the first date: Nopenopenope, and I NEVER want that at any point in my life either. 79. Broken someone’s heart: A few times on accident toward friends... Sometimes feel guilty about those moments again even if all is forgiven now. 80. Had your heart broken: I think so, but it’s not often in terms of friendship-based stuff. 81. Been arrested: Thankfully, nope! I intend to keep it that way. 82. Cried when someone died: Definitely. 83. Fallen for a friend: I’m not too sure what this means? Ummm... I mean, I assume it’s like making a huge/important sacrifice for a friend, but idk. I don’t recall anything like that atm other than the times I’d stand up for friends, against their bullies in high school.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84: Yourself: Normally, yeah. When overwhelmed with stress though? Nope. 85. Miracles: Yup. I’ve experienced quite a few either as an observer/witness, or a few times personally. 86. Love at first sight: Nah. Sometimes, there’s an instant “click” with people even for potential friendships, but that’s not always reliable for something long-term. 87. Santa Claus: Not now, but as a kid, I of course believed in Santa. A ton. 88. Kiss on the first date: Noooooope

OTHER:

90. Current best friend name: Pao/Paola! We’ve been close pals for about 8 years now 91. Eye color: Greyish Green? Sometimes looks more blue-tinted in other light sources? 92. Favorite movie: A tough pick... Hmm... Maybe Zootopia or Inside Out? I also really love Lilo and Stitch!

Alright, so yeah... No specific tags, but if anyone wants to do this, feel free to count it as my tag toward you!

I also noticed some numbers were missing from this list of questions, so who knows where those are? It’s almost 92. Have fun anyhow, maybe!

[ascbh13]

Sermon for Sunday, July 8th at 6.00 p.m Theme:  Matthew 8. 5-12 . Kay Morison.

Introduction:   For the last fifteen year of my father’s teaching career, he was a Head Master – a normal enough title in those days.

He was every inch the Head…he always wore his academic gown, always wore a suit, always wore a tie and he also sported his RAF war time moustache.  He was, without doubt, a significant authoritarian figure at School.  

However with all that austere presence, he was also caring and considerate.  He ensured that every pupil reached their full potential, taking the best subjects and exams for their individual ability.   And I can recall a home visit he took me to, in order to visit the parents of two of his pupils.  Both these youngsters had a seriously wasting muscular disease and would sadly, die young.  But my father cared for them and visited their home to encourage both them and their parents.

Of course in those days he also had powerful people behind and above him in his role – the School’s Governing Body and also the  local Education Authority.  He had authority but he was also under authority.

Tonight we all listened to the story of the Centurion and his sick servant.   Centurions in Jesus’ time were powerful soldiers with all the authority and backing of Rome behind them.  Centurions were the backbone of the Roman armed forces. William Barclay describes them as “the finest men in the Roman army”.

Centurions with their troops were based all over the Roman occupied lands and they could be either involved with their subjects, (in the N.T,  Jewish people), or remain totally aloof.  It is interesting that all the centurions we read about in the New Testament are shown to be good men, caring, upright, diligent, mentioned with honour.

You’ll remember that there was a Centurion at the foot of Jesus’ Cross who at our Lord’s death he affirmed Jesus as the Son of God…..Then there was Cornelius the Centurion, who became the first Gentile convert to the Christian faith.  In the New Testament Centurions were special, and the one we have read about tonight was particularly noteworthy for a whole variety of reasons.

So, first of all, let’s look together at:

1. The Extraordinary Attitude of the Centurion:

The Centurion comes to Jesus and says “Lord, my servant lies at home, paralysed, suffering terribly!”

We might assume that this was just the normal concern and care provided by a professional employer to his employee.  Not so….

Such a servant would probably have actually been a slave and as such was counted as sub-human.  Aristotle wrote “a slave is a living tool, just as a tool is an inanimate slave”.  The only difference between a slave and an animal was that the slave could speak. 

The Greek word used here which is translated as “servant” can also mean “slave” or also: “boy” …….an epithet which became the unpleasant derogatory term used for most black workmen under apartheid rule in South Africa.  Black workmen who were often treated extremely badly.

In contrast, this Centurion truly cared for, and was considerate to the dire needs of his servant.

Application:  How could this event from over 2000 years ago apply to us today?

It’s very clear that the Centurion cared for his servant… 

Do we really care for those who serve us?

Are we considerate to others who may not be in quite the same position as us?  Those who work often long and boring hours for us.  The cashier at the Supermarket check out…The Driver of the Bus when we swipe our bus passes.

They are people too, and worthy of our consideration and a smile.  If they wear a badge, why not call them by their name? They are persons, not machines.

Looking more widely: Do we ever stop to think and find out about the living conditions of those who work long hours for low pay to provide us with items we enjoy?  Traidcraft are running a campaign to increase awareness of tea picking in Assam.  This includes many famous companies, well established for  many years.  Household names in our childhood and still going strong now. 

A tea picker earns £2 a day and is unable to leave his employment……….Ask me for a leaflet.

The Archbishop of Canterbury has raised awareness of modern day slavery, especially in regard to car hand washes.…….And the Guardian has  mentioned the trafficking of girls to work in nail bars.

Last week the Daily Mail stated that this year’s Wimbledon tennis balls are now made in the Philippines.  Sadly, the workers are paid just 67p an hour. Think about it!

To me this seems remarkably like slaving for a pittance.     The same could be all round us. Remember what the Archbishop said about car hand washes. Are we as caring as the Centurion was for his slave?

We can do more than just thinking about and bemoaning these injustices. How about writing a letter or signing a petition?….Ask me more.

But back now to our Bible passage:  We’ve thought about The extraordinary attitude of the Centurion. Secondly, let’s focus our minds on:

2. The Extraordinary Faith of the Centurion.

The Centurion states the problem:  “Lord my servant lies at home paralysed and in terrible suffering.”

He simply tells Jesus the problem fully anticipating that Jesus will respond.   He came to Jesus “Asking for help”

When you think about it, this is simply amazing!  The Centurion was not a Jew, but a Gentile.  Even worse, he was a Roman Officer, part of the Empire’s occupying force, and actually asking Jesus - a Jew - for help! A Jew would never enter a Gentile’s home, but then, a Gentile would not be allowed in a Jewish home.

Illus: My husband John when serving his second curacy and doing door to door visits was not allowed into the homes of the group called Exclusive Brethren (not to be confused with the Plymouth Brethren who had a huge impact on my early Christian faith)….John  had to stand outside on the door step.

So this Gospel incident seems even more amazing!  Jesus says to the Centurion about his slave:  “I will go and heal him…”  Ritual rules did not concern Jesus.  He was open to all people, accepted all people. And the Centurion shows enormous faith: He says: “Lord I do not deserve to have you under my roof.  But just say the word and my servant will be healed”.

“Just say the word”: The Centurion knows his own role as an authority: someone able to give the word and immediately someone else undertakes the necessary task.  So he must have recognised that Jesus has even more authority - authority to heal - and that the healing will be done – by a Word!

What amazing faith and trust the Centurion had!  

So far we’ve looked at the extraordinary attitude of the Centurion, and then the extraordinary faith of the Centurion.

Now thirdly, let’s refocus our eyes onto

3. The Extraordinary Power of JESUS

The Extraordinary Power of Jesus:

We read many times in the New Testament of Jesus healing someone by personal touch, or by a command or word, if the person is there right with him.   However the Centurion’s Servant is one of only a couple or so recorded healings by Jesus done from a distance.  Jesus never met the servant, never laid hands on him.  He simply said a healing Word.

Jesus responded to the Centurion’s faith with a simple declaration that his servant was healed. He didn’t go to the Centurion’s house.  He didn’t lay his hands on the sick slave, not even a touch…..  Jesus simply said:  “Go!  It will be done just as you believed it would!”

Jesus is so amazed at the faith of the Roman Centurion. The soldier who said: “Just say the word and my servant will be healed”.  

And Jesus is so amazed, that he turns to the Jews following him and declares: “I say to you, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith!”  

What a fantastic – and challenging - statement that is!  I can understand why it almost certainly upset or angered some of the Jewish people standing around the Lord…..    

For Jesus explicitly says that non-Jewish people can be fellow-members of the heavenly Kingdom: He declared: “many from the East and the West will take their places and feast with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven.”

Such a statement must have been a HUGE shock for the listening Jews.   They were the chosen people - only they would feast with their ancestors in the kingdom of heaven – (or so they thought…) 

More shocks were to come:  Jesus followed this amazing statement by stating that many Jews who expected to be present in heaven with their forefathers would be thrown outside and not be welcome at the heavenly banquet…..  What Me? (they must have thought with a shudder) One of God’s Chosen People? Cast out?

Illus: It’s a bit like a few of the Windrush generation being told they were not British – and  then you’ll remember some were immediately kicked out of our country! 

 How much more must the Jews round Jesus have felt rejected:  Remember,  the rejection of some of  the Windrush generation which  was at worst, temporal - the rejection of  self-righteous Jews was to be eternal!

And with that comes a real challenge to each one of us here tonight:

You and I can’t rely on our background, our Englishness, our Anglican heritage, our years of church going, or our good behaviour,                           to be our passport to Heaven.  

Just like the Centurion, our only way can be by a living, trusting, faith-filled relationship with Jesus.  

Such a relationship brings into our immediate awareness the Lord’s wonderful promise of forgiveness and new life: the promise that He gave that first Good Friday, to the dying thief on the cross next to Him:  “Today you will be with me in Paradise”.

Conclusion:  at first reading, this story of the Centurion and his slave seems just another healing event in Jesus’ ministry.   However let me remind you of the ways this event challenges us personally, 2000 years later.

1. Are we fully aware of the horrors of modern day slavery? Why not look up what Justin Welby says about it? In particular: hand car-washing?  You can easily find this via Google on the Archbishop’s website using your computer or iPad.

2. Do we honestly have the same level of faith as the Centurion had?  If not, how can we actively exercise the faith we do have?  Well, we can pray for our friends who are ill at the prayer time this evening. And indeed for ourselves and our loved ones! Like the Centurion, JUST ASK as you come down from the Lord’s Table.  That’s why we have the Prayer Teams available after Communion.

3. Are we really sure about our own personal relationship with Jesus?  Are we really trusting Him not only for our immediate future but confident of our place with Him in the life to come?  Bring your doubts to Him and don’t hesitate to speak to one of us if you feel it might help.

But at this very moment, let’s remind ourselves of the faith of that extraordinary Centurion and come to Jesus in prayer right now…..

[issei-ice-k]

How to Love (not ft. Lil’ Wayne)

Feb. 5th, 2018

Growing up, I was afraid of making mistakes due to my father always negatively criticizing me. However, I’ve definitely seen him soften around the edges over the years and although he has never directly told me he loves me, I don’t doubt for a second that he does because his actions back it up. It should be verbally communicated as well but I’ve accepted him to let his actions speak for him. But as a boy, timid by nature, my father’s criticism caused me to form a bad habit of second guessing myself, and calculating my decisions became my defense mechanism to prevent myself from making mistakes. This obviously stunts growth, because making mistakes and learning from them is part of the learning curve. But I managed to learn this fact through my teen years, and practiced not fearing to fail in my past decade of my life. The results have shown me that things usually work out when listening to your heart and going with your gut feeling. My decision to quit competitive ice hockey, and explore the world of arts gave me the opportunity to study abroad in the country of my heritage, where I eventually landed a stable job in Tokyo with a thriving company and made some of the best friends of my life during my time there. Listening to my heart was working for me, but this was much easier to do when it wasn’t about love. With love, someone else’s heart is on the line. My decisions impact someone else’s life and feelings. What used to be a fork in the road for just my life, now suddenly brings another’s. It was a scary thought when thinking about it that way.

My life continued to attract exciting opportunities. While I was working in Tokyo, I had been offered a job that guaranteed me to move to Los Angeles within 6 months to a year. Ever since diving into the arts, LA had been a place I wanted to explore to see all kinds of art. With a passion to pursue acting and dance, it seemed like this new job was an opportunity of a lifetime. I placed my bet and signed the dotted line.

At that time, I had just gotten out of a 3.5 year relationship and was starting this new job that guaranteed my move to pursue my passion. My life was about to change drastically. I was ready to invest time into myself to see how I could become a better me and how to love myself, which to me, meant exploring what I did and didn’t like about myself, and diving deeper into my hobbies/passions. I wasn’t looking for a relationship but I wanted to meet other women to find out what qualities I wanted in a significant other. But fate didn’t know or care. 

A few weeks into my new job, I was introduced to a cute girl through a mutual friend. Her name, Miku. I couldn’t resist but to ask her out to dinner and unexpectedly, sparks ignited on our first date. I had disclosed that I wasn’t looking for a serious relationship due to my current situation but that didn’t stop us from continuing to see each other. The more time we spent together, the more I saw her playfulness and throughout our little laughter-filled adventures, by some miracle, she chose to give me her heart. I saw this and reciprocated to give her some of mine as well because why not? She was cute, kind, humble, artistic, spontaneous, free-spirited… should I keep going? Okay, one more... her pursed lips doe ;) But it was my first time not labeling a relationship as boyfriend/girlfriend that got intimate. Eventually, although we didn’t agree to label it as bf/gf, I offered for us to be exclusive between each other and we agreed to not see other people. 

You may be thinking, “if we were exclusive to each other, how was it any different from bf/gf?” This caused a lot of confusion, not only to her, but to me as well. No matter how I tried to answer that question, it never made sense because the defense mechanism of my mind created this barrier of an idea that a long-distance relationship wouldn’t work and I needed time to self invest, but my heart really wanted to be with her. The best conclusion that my inner conflict came to was to commit to each other with an expiration date of when I move to LA. But Miku didn’t hesitate at thoughts of long distance. Why? Because Miku has ears the size of Dumbo’s when it came to listening to her heart. *This is a figure of speech guys. Her ears aren’t actually huge. They are very cute.* But just imagine being able to hear every flutter, chirp, and whisper of your heart when it speaks. It would make life much easier to make decisions. Miku loved me fully with no barriers. Her love was pure. She knew how to love far more than I did.

My time to move to LA inevitably came but I was still unable to process my inner conflict. I was naive in that I kept following my mind instead of my heart and I continued to push her away despite her continued effort to try to keep us together. In the end, I ended up breaking her heart, the very thing I thought I could prevent. In doing that, I know I must’ve made her feel like a complete fool for giving me her heart, and made her second guess not only herself but how to love. It was the most unfair thing I could’ve done, which consequently put me in my position now…

Fast forward to today, now in LA a few months after Miku and I broke up and I had still been following the mind that had told me that love will come after focusing energy inward on myself. But my heart for her had been growing louder and more unsettling. I was even reaching out to mutual friends to see how she was doing in prior months. I was really dying to reach out to her but I wanted to respect that she wanted space. Over the past couple months I’ve been trying to understand why I was feeling this. Maybe moving to a new city without friends was harder than I thought? Realistically, I love the LA weather and I’ve been meeting a ton of new people here and I moved to new cities almost every other year since I was 13 and in my hockey days. I couldn’t be happier with my housemates and living situation. I’ve gained a true brother in one of my housemates and I've lived with tons of roommates since I was 14. Trust me, I know what shitty roommates can be like. However, I do recall my move to Tokyo to work for SoftBank being very tough. But much of that was due to being placed in a very traditional Japanese working environment and forcing myself to learn business level Japanese. When I moved to LA, my job, my boss, and my responsibilities didn’t change at all. There was no stress in those departments. I had to look deeper. Maybe because I hadn’t found my partner yet? So I started to look around but when I was trying to look for qualities in the girls I was talking to, I realized I was literally envisioning Miku in my head. And it hit me that deep down my heart knew of a love that was already there. It showed me exactly what qualities I want in a woman. 

I need a partner humble and grounded enough to not need to flaunt her looks, but rather, let me proudly flaunt her around. I need someone wise enough to listen before assuming, who will always self reflect on her words/actions, someone artistic, to have the viewpoint to see beauty in the smallest things, to support my passions, to be spontaneous enough to get up and go on a weekend getaway, to have a similar amount of a Japanese/Western blend as me, to be able to really share the dopamine high of music, to show immense care through the tough times, to share everyday laughter through the smallest corny jokes and puns (like the title of this post), and to have a pure smile of elation. Not only that but I need to really be able to vibe with my partner. Like when something funny occurs and a word doesn’t have to be spoken to know exactly what the other person is thinking, and simultaneous eye contact becomes the punchline to a burst of stomach-clenching laughter. Or when you can nerd out on things that you both grew up on that shaped your childhood, despite growing up in different places. I’m sure some of you can relate. Miku possesses all of these traits and even showed me how to care for those I truly love through the way she gives love.

I remember how excited I was to introduce her to my sister, Reina. My sister was my figure who helped guide me and teach me from her experiences growing up. The one who always had my back, even though she felt like a bully at times ;P But I was excited because she was the closest person to me in my life and I wanted just the three of us to meet so Reina could get a glimpse of Miku’s amazing personality; cute, innocent, and easily amused with a hint of Kanye, who can’t find a fuck to give even if she wanted to about what others think, but will also melt toward any cute animal within sight. It was truly healing to see them get along and sing their hearts out to some of our childhood tunes at karaoke together. And my sister approved. It was the first time she genuinely liked a girl I introduced her to.

During our time, I even mentioned to Miku that she had marriage potential to me but my understanding of those reasons have come crisp into focus. Is it possible to love someone once you are away from them? Many might say no, but this experience has told me yes. Love grows differently for everyone. If love had a template, there would be a lot less relationships in this world.

But here I am trying to pick up the pieces to the heart I shattered... but I know exactly why I failed. You can’t calculate love or half ass it. You just need to listen to your heart and if it gives you the signal, you need to act on what it says, not the thoughts of doubt that your mind creates. The rest will work out if both people fully love each other, because if you try to calculate your moves, you won’t be able to focus on the present moment and what your heart is telling you. I know Miku already knows this if she hasn’t changed how she loves. 

One could argue that I just want the old memories to become the present again, but to be honest, I want it to be different this time around, because previously everything revolved around me. There is nothing that will comfort her in trusting that version of me again. This time I’d show her what my heart truly feels through my actions, as my dad does. To show that I love her. Actions like not being on my phone when we are supposed to be enjoying each other’s time. Staying aware of how people can be perceived on social media and being careful of what kind of women I spend time with. Managing and making time for our alone time. Planning out not only spontaneous dates or events but even planning trips/events ahead of time, including those that she would really enjoy, not just me. I really want to explore the rest of the world with her, and especially Hawaii because I know it’s her second home. My mom had even agreed to put her on flight benefits to make this affordable and possible when I asked her. I want to experience more of what molded her before I met her. But not just her past, I want to show her and lead her to things she still hasn’t experienced during our limited time on this planet. I accept her for who she is and how she thinks and I want to hear more not just about the beauty she sees in things, but her deeper thoughts in life as well. 

I hate to assume, but my heart also tells me that some of her heart is still with me. If she still believes in the way she loves, I’d beg her to dig down and look into her heart to see if there is any sense of love still there for me, even if it’s just a glimmer. Without barriers, I'll provide tenfold through the promise to protect our love for each other. The characteristics she displayed to me are those that will make me happy for life.

I know she thinks that feelings should build from the get go in a relationship, which may turn into love at some point, and I respect her view. I wish I was wiser to have understood my own feelings and actions from the start but I can’t rewind time. But my love for her is clear to me. I can’t control what may happen in the future but I know for a fact that I will regret not giving my all for her. Do I deserve a second chance? Many may say no. But the only thing I can do is to convey my love and hope that she is willing to see through my lens, in the eye of the beholder.

[geekysweetie]

Big Fish and Begonia Anime Review

Overview:

Big Fish & Begonia (also known as Da Yu Hai Tang) is not technically an anime since it is from China instead of Japan; however, it is a beautifully animated fantasy adventure with a lot of heart. The quality of the animation is on par with Disney or Studio Ghibli.

The story has a few plot holes and pacing issues, but overall, the emotional impact of the story telling makes this film a must watch. The story may feel familiar if you’ve watched Disney’s the Little Mermaid, or another Chinese animation from the 90s, Chinese Ghost Story. Despite the similar concepts, Big Fish & Begonia still manages to add its own unique twists and takes on concepts of forbidden love and reincarnation.

Big Fish Begonia Anime Review

Review:

Title: Big Fish & Begonia (Da Yu Hai Tang)

Release Date: July 2016 (China) (Not yet licensed for North America)

  Production: Bejing Enlight Media

Geeky:  5/5 – The production values are top notch. The quality of the animation, music, and acting are all on PAR with Disney or Studio Ghibli. Many consider this film to be the “dawn of animation” in China. It took 12 years to complete, and the level of dedication, time, care, and skill that went into making this film really shows.

Sweetie: 4/5 – I did decide to deduct one point for a few major plot holes and pacing issues. However, the themes of love (often times unrequited), life, death, and reincarnation make this film very “sweet” indeed. I was not expecting to cry as much as I did by the end!

Overall: 47/55 85% B “Very Good Anime For Girls”

Big Fish Begonia Anime Review

Concept:

Concept: 10/10 I am in love with the concept behind this film. I am a huge fan of Chinese Ghost Story and also the Little Mermaid.

I even prefer the old 80s Japanese version of the Little Mermaid over the Disney one (blasphemous, I know, right?). Don’t get me wrong, I love Disney’s Little Mermaid too. But the reason I love the non-Disney version so much is because of how sad it is.

Spoiler for the Japanese Little Mermaid below:

Spoiler

In the end, the prince marries another girl. The Little Mermaid’s sisters come to her with a poisoned dagger. If she chooses to kill the prince and his new bride, she can return back home with her family. However, the Little Mermaid only wishes for the prince’s happiness and cannot bring herself to harm him because she is so in love with him. As the sun rises, per her agreement with the Sea Witch, the Little Mermaid turns into sea foam and dies.

Big Fish Begonia Anime Review

I know this sounds horrible to some people who always insist on watching movies with a happy ending, but I’ve always loved tearjerkers, even as a child. There’s just something so touching and sweet about this tragic tale. It also happens to follow the original story more closely as well.

So if we combine that 80s Little Mermaid with Chinese Ghost Story, we get something very similar to Big Fish & Begonia. Chinese Ghost Story is another beautifully animated Chinese film. (The animation was done by a Japanese studio). The story involves a young man who finds himself lost in a literal “Ghost Town”. All of the city’s inhabitants are spirits who have passed over. There, he meets a beautiful woman who also happens to be a ghost. Eventually the two of them fall in love; however, the only way for them to be together is for both of them to reincarnate back on earth.

Story:

Story: 7/10 The story of Big Fish and Begonia revolves around Chun, a young girl who has just become an adult in her society. Chun is from a mystical world. The movie describes the world by having Chun narrate that they are not gods, nor humans, but “others”.

In this mystical world, all adolescents become dolphins and journey to the human world for 7 days as a right of passage. During this time if they should come into contact with humans, they will not be allowed to return back to their own world.

Big Fish Begonia Anime Review

However, a sea squall occurs which traps Chun in a fisherman’s net on her last day on Earth. The past few days, she has spent observing the humans and their world, especially one young human who loves the sea. This human sees that Chun is trapped in the net and swims out to save her.

Although he is able to free Chun from the fisherman’s net, he drowns in the storm. Chun tries to save him, but is only able to retrieve his ocarina. Chun can’t forget the young man or his grieving family even when she returns back to her own world.

Chun discovers that there may be a way to revive the young boy and return him back to his world. She trades half of her life in exchange for his. In doing so, she also irreversibly links together their two souls. Should one of them perish, so shall they both. To complicate matters, his soul must remain a fish until returning back to the human world. In Chinese legends, there was a big fish who could fly through the skies. Thus Chun names him after the fish of legend, Kun.

Big Fish Begonia Anime Review

Many sad things happen along the way, but Chun resolves herself to complete her mission, even if it costs her her own life. As much as Chun cares for Kun, there’s another character who equally cares for Chun. He is her childhood friend named Qiu. With the same resolve that Chun takes to protect Kun, Qiu takes similar resolve to protect Chun, also willing if necessary to trade his life for hers.

Overall, I really enjoyed the film and loved the concept and story. My complaint with the story is the introduction of minor characters halfway through. They abandon certain concepts they have introduced, and create inconsistencies and plot holes. Here are a few examples.

1.) In theory, Chun should not have even been able to return back to her world. Contact with humans was forbidden. Yes, her world begins to suffer, and everyone turns against her. But, when the film starts, her mother warns her not to let the humans see her and tells her that another girl just took the journey and was unable to return for breaking this rule.

2.) At one point, a villain will escape into the human world. (You’ll know what I’m referring to if you watch the movie). After escaping into the human world, we never see or hear from this villain again. You would think it had some motive for wanting to go into the human world and that some consequences may occur in the human world as the result of introduction of this character. We’re never shown exactly what those consequences are.

Big Fish Begonia Anime Review

3.) When returning to the human world, all memories are supposed to be erased; however, that doesn’t seem to happen. There’s also the issue or significance of the necklace that Chun is wearing at the end, that I don’t recall being explained. It seems the creators want your attention to be called to the necklace from the swinging and shining animation and camera zoom and pan given to that scene. What significance exactly did the necklace hold?

This next bit might be a Spoiler for the end of Big Fish and Begonia

Spoiler

4.) If you watch past the credits you see a scene with Qiu (possibly eluding to a sequel of some sort), and at the end of the credits you are told that the film is based on a Chinese legend about a brother (Qiu) who evoked an 8,000 year long autumn, and his sister, Chun, who evoked an 8,000 year long spring. Then we are led to believe that the Qiu and Chun in this film are the reincarnations of the ones in Chinese Legend. Chun even tells Qiu that she can’t love him because she thinks of him as her brother.

When we look at their respective magical ability, Chun with her flowering and plant growing, and Qiu with his fruit growing/harvesting, this also reinforces the idea that they are brother and sister. Also while researching this, I discovered that Chun is the Chinese word for Spring, and Qiu, the Chinese word for Autumn.

You can also do your own research into reading more about the Legend of Qiu and Chun. One such source that I found describes that they had an incestuous affair for many years, despite Chun later marrying for political reasons, and being separated by distance geographically.  Despite the distance, their feelings for one another never diminished.

The problem that I have with this theory is just simply that Chun doesn’t love Qiu in this film which seems to be a direct contradiction to the ancient legend. If it was based on this Chinese legend, it seems that she would have also had feelings for him as well as, or maybe even more than, her feelings for Kun.  Qiu very clearly has those feelings for Chun as he tells her that his only regret is having not held her in his arms on their final night together. However, Chun seems to only regard Qiu as a good friend, and nothing more.

Despite the inconsistency that this creates, I have to say, Qiu is my favorite character, and that one line of dialog, and the scene of their final night together, and Qiu’s sacrifice for Chun, really is my favorite part of this movie.

Big Fish Begonia Anime Review

Characters

Characters: 8/10 Qiu makes this film for me. He begins as a bit of a child-like impish, practical jokester. By the end of the film, he has matured so much, and sacrifices so much as a result of his love and desire to protect Chun.

Chun likewise grows as a character, with her resolve to protect Kun. She goes against her elders, her mother, the people of her village. She is shunned as a result of breaking the laws of her people. While it would be easy to harbor a grudge against the people who have cast her out of their tribe, she instead endeavors to help them when tragedy befalls their home.

Chun also realizes what she was warned, that we cannot ever truly atone for our sins. As a result of helping Kun, other people begin to suffer. She realizes the weight and consequences of her actions; however, it is too late to change course.

Big Fish Begonia Anime Review

Qiu learns a similar lesson. He asks how to save and help Chun, but the answer he receives eats away at him. He asks a shopkeeper if he has anything that can make him forget his sadness. The shopkeeper offers him a drink, but he warns it will also take away his happiness. He learns that in order to have happiness, you must also experience sadness.

The minor characters are also sources of wisdom and have a lot of heart, especially Chun’s grandparents who help her even after their own death.

I did deduct 2 points because there are some characters that are forgotten and abandoned, and even Kun himself feels underdeveloped as a character. It was hard for me to like the relationship of Kun x Chun because so much more development had been put into Qiu compared to Kun.

Big Fish Begonia Anime Review

Production Value:

Animation: 5/5 This is one of the most beautifully animated films I have seen, not just from China, but from anywhere. It blends beautiful 2D and some nice 3D animation techniques. The fantasy world and characters are all unique and mesmerizing.

Voice Acting 5/5 Big Fish and Begonia is a very emotional film, and to pull that off, it makes use of talented voice actors who can capture and convey their feelings of love, guilt, grief, and despair.

Music: 3/5 Music also has a Disney-ish feeling and helps tell the story. I especially liked the song during the ending credits. There a few Disney-ish feeling “song/dance” skits, which can sometimes detract from the mature and dark feeling of the film; these are brief, but not as well handled in my opinion as similar scenes in Chinese Ghost Story, which makes great use of music interludes to tell their story. The music also doesn’t feel that memorable in Big Fish and Begonia, but it is overall, quite lovely.

Overall: 47/55 85% B “Very Good Anime For Girls”

Big Fish and Begonia Anime Review was originally published on GeekySweetie.com - Geeky & Kawaii Anime, Tech, Toys, & Game Reviews & News