#the only did they'd ask if i was hungry but by the time grandma came to live with us that stopped and so they would not really talk to me

[713-4th-ward-g]

.

[autistichalsin]

I should have stopped talking to my mom any of the times she accused me and my dad of incest because she was jealous of our closeness, or the time she laughed when I told her about my sister assaulting me and laughed "to be fair, I fantasized about your neck too", or any of the times she hit my dad, or the time she said she wished she could kill me, or any of the times she kicked me out in winter with no coat, or the time she called me a bitch (ON MY BIRTHDAY!) because I said i didn't know what time I'd be out of bed, or when she admitted to not teaching us life skills because she wanted us to need her, or any of the times she continued to put essential oils in my room knowing it triggered my asthma, or the time she accused me of faking my allergy to our laundry detergent to be difficult despite the hives on my skin, or the time she yanked me by the hair trying to drag me out of my little brother's room so she could scream at him and then she told my grandma I was the one hurting her, or the time she threw a tumbler at my head, or the time she said I use people because i needed my dad to drive me to the doctor, or the time my SIL was in labor and my mom sent me a picture of a baby, then when I called all excited asking if my nephew was here she laughed FAKE NEWS!!! and told me he wasn't here yet, or the time she told everyone in my family I didn't like playing music and only did to be like my sister so that they wouldn't help me afford a class trip like they'd done for my sister, or the time I was in the hospital for suicidal thoughts and then when my counselor and I met with her and I told her I needed her to stop drinking for my health to improve, she got pissed and snapped "why is this about ME??" or when she let my sister live with us after said sister sexually assaulted my brother, assaulted me with the aforementioned neck licking, and poured her beer on me and flicked bits of meat at me knowing it would upset me as a vegetarian, or when my mom yelled at me to "be a real girl for once" because i wouldn't shave my legs, or when she bought my sister a gaming system the week before my birthday one year and got me nothing, or the repeated times she showed complete and utter apathy to me and my achievements and my hobbies, or the time she lied about my coming out story and then used that to farm likes on her Twitter, or the time she called me a spoiled princess because one single time I was tired and hungry after classes at college and asked my little brother to make me a PBJ sandwich, or the time she screamed at me to use my student aid money to get her chips, increasingly mad when I refused, then when I finally caved and walked to the store to get them for her and came back, threw them at me screaming that it wasn't about the "FUCKING DORITOS" and refused to eat a single chip, or the time my little brother and i went out for my birthday and then my mom threw out our leftovers and tried to break the Super Mario Galaxy disc he'd gotten for me as a present, or the time she hit my dad and screamed at him for getting me Elton John tickets for my birthday one of the rare years we had money-

But I didn't. i should have, but I didn't. Even after I moved out more than five years ago, there was always something. I was afraid she'd retaliate, or I felt responsible for her or I was afraid she'd get sicker or I was afraid i wouldn't get to see my dad again.

Because of that, i let her continue abusing me for years after I moved out. I thought she had become a better person when she got sober. She was working on herself and on rebuilding trust. But now she's right back to the same person she was. And I can't do this anymore. I just can't. I have nothing left to give that woman. I love my dad and I know, with how my mom is, I'll only get to email him anymore if I cut off my mom, because she controls everything with him. I watched, from when I was little to when I was 18, as she cut off more and more from him. She made him quit the sports groups he was in, made him stop going to work parties and stop seeing his friends, until he had literally nothing outside the house but work. I hate thinking that I'm abandoning him to her. And that I might not see him as he gets older. But I just can't do this anymore.

And what was the last straw, you ask?

I asked if they could make a new group chat.

My best friend is like my platonic life partner, to the point of being on the family group chat that includes in-laws. My best friend also lost her mom to cancer a few years ago, and as a result, has PTSD including hospitals being VERY triggering for her. My sister's FMIL is very sick and she's been texting updates. After my best friend said it was too triggering, I texted my mom and sister aside and asked if we could make a new group chat without my best friend on it so she wouldn't be triggered. My mom proceeded to go off on me, accusing my best friend and I of being selfish and not loving/caring about my sister. She said my sister didn't choose any of this and my best friend should "just not be triggered" (wtf???)

So. I blocked her. And we're cancelling our trip to see them for Thanksgiving too.

I tried. I gave her so many chances. I put up with a hundred times more abuse than anyone else would have because I loved her and i was so sure that I could help her, and maybe in some ways I did, but the favor was almost never returned. Anyone else would have cut her off for any one of those things.

She has no one to blame but herself. i did more for her than her other three kids put together and now she won't have that anymore because of her inability to stop being abusive. Ultimately... she needs me a lot more than I need her. And I'm done sacrificing for her. i could deal with the favoritism. With knowing that if my sister and I were trapped in a burning building and she could only save one of us, it would be my sister and she would never look back. I could deal with that. I could deal with the years of abuse and manipulation. I even managed to live with her denying my little brother's sexual assault ever happened and for saying I manipulated my brother into thinking he'd been raped to "prove an agenda". But there's a reason they call it the last straw and not the only straw. There's a huge fucking pile under it and I just physically can't do it anymore.

So have a nice life, mom. If you apologize, I might consider unblocking you and maybe coming for visits every now and then. But what we had? Gone. And you have only yourself to blame. Find a new person to unload all your fucking whining on. I am going to enjoy never having to hear you whine about opioids being outlawed, EVER FUCKING AGAIN. No more hijacking my conversations to talk about politics. No more talking about yourself for a full 20 minutes without even asking how I'm doing. No more calling me three times while I'm on a work shift because you forgot your Indian food order and NEEDED me to place the order for you. Fuck off. Do it yourself. I AM DONE.

[mysticficti0n]

All my attention Part 6

warnings- swearing, drinking, flirting, dirty talk to the max, Degrading but not in a mean way?

words- 3.3k

If you'd like to read the previous parts → All my attention series

a/n- so if you're new here I am British and cannot speak any German, I speak a little French, Spanish and Italian but German- no. I also do not trust Google translate so this is gonna be like an avatar thing (if you've seen the newest one Jake says that their language just became normal or something along those lines) so in reality this is all in German, you as a reader know German but, its wrote in English... make sense? no... well

(also would you guys want me to do smut for this? I don't have to if you don't want it but... I could write some good pieces for the next few chapters?????)

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backstory- you are the 5th member of Tokio Hotel and you always thought the love was equally platonic between you and a certain guitarist... but what if that all changed?

Everyone arrived by 8:50 and were all seated around a extremely large table, each family sat drinking and laughing over different things, on our side of the table (meaning me, Tom, Gustav, Gustav's grandpa, Georg and Bill) we all chatted about random ideas we had for the next shows

"good evening, could we get you all started on food?" a man around my mothers age smiled pulling a note pad out and a pen

"yes can we have-" Stefan schafer, Gustav's dad began pointing to things on the menu and pointing to the people who wanted it "-perfect thank you" the man nodded collecting all the menus in and the chatter began again, me and Tom sat across from our grandmas who were on about something they'd watched on tv

"I'm bored" Tom whispered in my ear causing me to roll my eyes

"we've been here 20 minuets" he sighed falling back into his chair and his grandma seemed to notice turning to him

"Tom- whats wrong darling?" the boy sat properly again and took a swig of his drink

"nothing just hungry" he spoke watching the old women tilt her head "...I'm bored" Catrina nodded looking to me

"you have Y/n/n for company, she's a lot of fun aren't you?" I nodded my head looking to the boy who just laughed "oh actually me and Josie were just saying- we watched your interview! with that hunky man Karter, you two looked delightful, well all of you did" she grinned rubbing my hand over the table

"yeah.." Tom trailed getting comfy again, reaching arm the back of my seat and playing with the ends of my hair "we wont be going back to him in a rush"

"why not?" my gran asked "he's a handsome man"

"nothing to worry about Nanna" I spoke smiling to her, she can become a very angry women if she found out someone did anything bad to us, she'd personally hunt them down if she could.

Time passed slowly but the smell of food only made us hungrier, Toms hand had moved from my hair to my shoulder drawing a circle over and over

"and here we are-" the same waiter came over with two others holding trays of food, there was 21 of us.. we all sat straight and the small laughter of my sister caused us all to laugh, I had the pesto tortellini with Parmesan, and many also copied me

"thank you" we all said starting our meal, I dug my fork in and bought the steamy pasta to my mouth "oh wow thats amazing" I hummed putting more onto the fork, Tom looked over then to the bowl and back to me "you chose to have the chicken Schnitzel, I said about this"

"oh please!" he moaned "one bite- you can have some chips" he quickly stabbed his fork into the fries and brought them to me "come on"

"fine" I gave into his ways and took the chips and past him my fork with the pasta on the end, he hummed a quick thank you and smiled tasting the food "good right?" Tom nodded swallowing the pasta, I turned back to eating and listening to the different conversations around the table

"you know I was thinking about something" Bill began looking down to us on the table "a tv show, like filming while in rehearsals and we could go round during tours and trying things... Felix said about it" The idea of being filmed 24/7 didn't sound fantastic, I enjoy my privacy but.. if that means we get to do fun stuff..

"who'd wanna watch us though, outside of music were just boring" Gustav added "you could do a documentary about every girl Toms fucked" Gustav's mom slammed his hand making us all laugh

"at least they'd say they came unlike the girls you've done" Tom hit back making the drummer huff "but I like the idea-" Georg nodded as well but I still sat undecided

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(okay I cba to write about the restaurant but lets say, lovely meal hugs kisses etc)

"Oh why don't we go to that bar" Simone pointed out, the bars name was naughty lad and music was booming through the walls, the boys seemed intrigued looking through the steamed windows

"I think we'll head back with the grandparents, Stella is nearly asleep so could you bring Y/n back?" my mom asked passing my sister to my dad

"sure, we'll keep her safe don't worry" David, Georg's dad spoke wrapping an arm around me "you get home and relax" with a quick hug my parents got into the car and drove away leaving me with the boys and their parents which wasn't unusual, having a younger sister makes life harder to always enjoy. Together we all walked into the bar and 'hot in here' by Nelly was blasting through the speakers

"drinks?" Bill asked pulling his wallet out "Guessing a vodka coke for you?" I laughed seeing Bill roll his eyes "you need to try more- I'm getting you something else"

"Get me whatever she has!" Tom shouted to his brother who nodded walking to the rest of the group who found themselves sat at a booth "wanna smoke quickly?" I agreed feeling his hand wrap around my wrist and pull me back out the door, he went into his pocket pulling his cigarets out and handing me one with his lighter

"thank you" I chirped lighting the end and then his "I can't get over you tonight" I spoke catching myself at the end

"its alright babe, you can take it off me later" his voice turned suggestive and a smirk plastered his face "aww turning red aren't you?" his free hand cupped my jaw and I felt my knees go weak at his touch- what was he doing

"shut up-" I groaned pushing him away jokingly "I was trying to be nice and say you look good" Toms face softened and nodded along to my words

"I know, but I just love making you all red for me" he cooed putting a hand on my waist "it makes you even more beautiful" Tom leaned in, my heart started pounding in my chest, is this what he meant by being 'worse' I knew I wanted to kiss him again as he closed the distance between us, our lips just inches apart, he hesitated. With a sly grin, he pulled back, leaving the me confused "don't want to be caught do we?" I narrowed my eyes seeing him chuckle "aw did you want me to kiss you Y/n?"

"its okay, I'll find someone in there who will" his face dropped and his grip on my only tightened "maybe I'll bring them home with us?"

"mhm... I don't think so-" The boy was cut by the long haired bassist peaking his head around the door "what?"

"drinks are here" he pulled the door open wider and the two let me in first, I pushed past people dancing along to the music and trying not to get any type of liquid on my dress, finally the booth came into view and Bill sat smiling reaching for my hand I took it and he pulled me next to him

"okay drink this first then I'll tell you what it is" he shouted over the music, I turned to the drink and saw it was a radioactive green with a yellow hue, I picked up the champagne coup and brought it to my lips taking a sip

"Ugh What the fuck is that!" I called nearly heaving at the taste of something like black liquorish

"Death In The Afternoon! I thought you'd like it!" a smile creeped onto his face as he took the glass and finished it "let me get you another one!" The boy pleaded

"come on Y/n don't be boring!" Gustav laughed swigging his arm around me

"fine but I don't want that shit ever again" soon I watched the tallest twin wonder to the bar and point to something on the menu clapping his hands as the bar man turned away "oh- whats that?" I asked seeing the black haired boy smirking holding a small glass fully yellow but with some red falling into the glass, speaking of the glass it had a slice of lemon and mint dotted on top

"this is a Mai Tai" Bill said handing me the drink and watched me as I sipped at the liquid, I hummed at the taste of Malibu and orange running down my throat

"wow this is good" I drank more seeing the singer do a small dance knowing he'd defeated my 'vodka coke' love

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I sat in the booth wedged between Simone and Bill who were laughing about something stupid and I was on my 5th mai tai giggling when something funny was mentioned, I wasn't drunk but I was tipsy, I saw Simone leave the conversation and look to the dance floor "OH MY GOD!" She got up running to the floor pulling me along with her

"SIMO-" I began but then I herd it 'don't stop the music' by Rihanna start to play, ever since the song came out earlier in the year me and her loved it, we danced around with large smiles painted across our faces "I wanna take you away Let's escape into the music DJ, let it play I just can't refuse it" Simone grabbed my hand spinning me around while still belting out the lyrics "Please don't stop the music!" we finished laughing loudly and sweat running down our foreheads I looked to the booth to see them all clapping at our stupidness we took a bow and Simone went to sit down next to her boyfriend who she wrapped her arms around and kissed making her sons cringe and I decided id go sit next to Tom- we'd barley spoke since we had that smoke out side, he was sat holding a glass of clear liquid and rolling his eyes over at his brother

"hey!" I called sliding myself next to him in the booth

"hi- you okay?" I nodded my head grabbing my drink of the table and In a quick swig finishing It off "you might wanna slow down on them" the boy laughed pulling my empty glass from me but I couldn't understand a word as the music got louder around me

"what? I didn't hear you!" he rolled his eyes but quickly moved closer, the arm around my shoulder moved to hold my bare thigh as he leaned into my ear

"I said, you might wanna slow down on the mai tai" his fingers tapped on my skin causing a odd sensation I'd never felt before shiver up my body, they danced on my leg edging to go just slightly under my skirt but he stopped everytime

"oh-oh yeah... well wanna go to the bar and help me chose something different?" Tom nodded and the two of us stood back up, he grabbed my hand, closing his fingers tightly around mine and pulled me through the crowd, yanking me when I stopped, as we got to the bar he pulled me a bar stool out making me sit in front of him while he stood close behind, his stomach on my back and his one hand on my waist

"you like the fruitier cocktails right?" I nodded my head looking at the menu and something caught my eye- The Blue Hawaii, rum, vodka Blue curacao, pineapple juice and Lemon juice

"I think I want the blue Hawaii!" I looked back to the dreaded boy who nodded his head pulling his wallet out "no Tom, let me pay!" I hurried into my purse to grab the €10 I needed

"Y/n fuck off, I'm buying me and drink and you one- put the money away" he huffed grabbing my money and shoving it back into the bag "let me treat you babe" my heart ached at the words and so I let him do what he wanted and I just leaned back on him and waited to be served. The bartender finally turned to us and grabbed a bottle of something "erm can we have a blue Hawaii and a vodka cranberry, thanks" Tom handed the money over me, his chest pressing on me and his other hand back on my thighs for support

"be 5 mins" the man behind the counter said before walking off to the other side of the bar

"I need a piss, stay here don't move alright?" Tom commanded, quickly patting my head like I was some kind of dog and running to the bathroom, I sat kicking my legs watching others conversations and giggling to who ever they're with

"hey.. anyone sitting here?" I turned to a voice I'd never herd before and saw a man stood there holding a empty glass

"no! you can sit don't worry" a small laugh left him and he perched onto the chair and I finally got to see his face, He's very good looking, I couldn't help but admire his features. something about him that made him stand out from the rest, his black hair and brown eyes. His hair is perfectly styled in little waves along his head, and it shines in the light. I found myself staring to his smile. It's warm and inviting, i can't help but smile back. It's infectious.

"thanks, I'm Brandon- thought I'd introduce myself so I'm not creepy" I laugh at him as I turn to speak to him better

"oh I'm Y/n, my seat will be free soon once me and my mate have our drinks" I spoke still just admiring him, it might've been the alcohol but he was gorgeous

"shame, I'm enjoying this- little old me speaking to a beautiful girl.. I say old- I'm not I'm 19, you?"" I blushed to his words

"oh 17 but I get mixed up with being either 23 or 13 most days" he chuckled at my comment

"where you from anyways?"

"Leipzig, you?" he nodded his head

"Dresden" we kept speaking till mine and Tom's drinks arrived and I quickly grabbed them "so who are you here with?"

"just my friends and some family- celebrating coming home- actually my friend should be here soon" I looked back and I saw Tom staring at me with a scowl across his face "oh erm, he's over there so I might see you later?" I smiled grabbing the drinks off the table

"yeah sure, maybe I can get your number and we could go out for drinks?" he sounded so sweet and eyes bright with hope, but I knew I had to be careful giving my number out for security reasons and also I think Tom would kill me

"maybe yeah!" I laughed it off as I walked over to he boy who looked through me to Brandon, crossing his arms "how long were you stood watching me?" I asked passing him his drink

"long enough" his seriousness scared me, what was his issue "he really liked you didn't he? eyes wondered you like a fucking map" he spat gulping his drink basically in one

"Tom I think you're being a bit dramatic, he didn't even flirt with me" it was a partial lie as he did ask for my number...

"still-" I saw the guitarist sulk a little sipping the last of his drink and staring into the distance and that when I realised it

"are... are you jealous?" his eyes shot up to me but he didn't fight my words, and I wanted to keep pushing him "come on, you can tell me" I fluttered my eyelashes at the boy who just looked away, without thinking my hand reached for his jaw and brought his gaze back to me, I was shocked with myself but I couldn't lose my control now "look at me when I'm talking to you" I spoke closer to him in a low whisper, his eyes seemed deeper and narrower, I was doing it "you don't like it when I speak to other guys hm? don't like them looking at me, thinking of me...touching me" I let the last words roll of my tongue and I could see behind his stare he was getting angrier "talk to me pretty boy"

My hand was swatted from his face as Tom pulled me by my wrist back into the cubicles, each small individual rooms with a crappy dim light glaring into the room, hurriedly we went to the first unlocked block and slammed the door closed and he locked it with a click, my back pressed against the cold tile wall and Tom stood over me I close my eyes as his lips press against mine. His hands moved around my waist, pulling me closer to him. I could feel the heat radiating off of his body as he wrapped his arms around me. His lips soft and perfect, his breath warm on my skin. I can feel my heart racing as we move together, our bodies intertwined. His hands move higher, caressing my back as we kiss. I can feel my skin tingling with anticipation as I move my hands up his chest, exploring his body. I can feel the electricity between us, the passion rising.

"You- you are a little cunt sometimes" I feel him smile into my cheek pressing kisses into my skin "but.. fuck we both know you'd never want them...as much as you want me" I hold my breath at the feeling of him humming into my ear, my arms tangle around his neck pulling him back to my lips "god you are so desperate for me" I pull back slightly opening my eyes and seeing a smirk plastering his face

"who's the one that dragged me into here?" he tilted his head in agreement but I could wait any longer, our lips smashed back together and our bodies collided once again, hungrily I moved down to his jaw peppering the line with kisses and edged down to his neck, my lips danced around until I reached just below his ear and his grip on me tightened and a noise threatened to escape his throat, I dove back into the spot sucking and pecking at it, hearing him struggle and try pry me off

"fuck Y/n- please" he begged "shit... I-I" his stuttering made my heart swell and I pulled away to see small beads of sweat forming, I looked to his eyes and they were full of glazed tears of lust

"aw- I'm sorry, didn't you like it?" I played with a strand of his hair as he shook his head no

"I fucking loved it" his lips landed back on me as he groaned into the kiss, I smiled feeling his hands go under my thighs and lift me onto his hips, my dress pushing up revealing the red panties I put on earlier "shit you are so hot" the boy whined kissing my chest, nibbling lightly at the skin

"ah- Tom" His eyes caught mine again and smile only spread further, my hands grabbed his shoulders pushing myself up and he only toyed with me more, licking my skin that was sore from being between his teeth and small noises seeped from my mouth only pushing him further "shit... Fuck Tommy- I..." his nickname came out so naturally but in the sluttiest moan I'd ever done

" God Y/n, I don't what the first place we fuck to be in a bathroom baby, so keep that pretty little mouth quiet because you're making it so hard to keep that from happening" my heart nearly exploded out my chest, I went like putty, foreheads knocking together at his words, Tom caught my lips In one last sweet kiss and put me back onto the floor "so beautiful-" Tom whispered into my ear one last time before pulling away still holding my waist

"only for you" I smiled kissing him once more again before we stood there holding each other panting and puffy lipped

[rubbarband]

Desmond would choose not to hear their conversation, cat hearing, came with the tail from his father. Little did they also know since his grandfather was mute and his nephew he was skilled in ASL so he'd just look away and ask Kal not to ease drop, if they had something they wanted to say they'd tell him.

Des paced around the room, mostly still annoyed at the evolution M.T showed off, and usually after a failure the idiot loved to go into hiding, Desmond bidded his friends all Adieu. "It's the right team but we need to make sure he can't use those portals....if only old man portal boy was still alive....maybe hush child?"

'Desmond I understand the focus but the-'

"I know Kal...I'm also contacting dad, you should know that, I can multitask." The hero's tail lulled as he bobbed his head in different directions for a bit. Once Violet spoke up without turning towards her Desmond smiled to himself. "We head home I guess, Kal-li drive Daisy home, We'll take a bigger car so we can fit the tigers as well. Also call Grandma and Grandpa, I'll take them on the offer of fresh produce. but they'll wanna see me too...on second thought tell dad to meet us there, and mom too. It's best if everyone knows."

Desmond turned towards the group. "We're actually going on a trip, I'm gonna trust you all, just don't make me regret it." He teased. "I hope your hungry." In no time with a rented truck so the animals had room to lay down Desmond started to drive them through the city, there were heroes of all kind, people flying, people with animal heads, claws, wings etc, one hero who was transformed into a T-Rex was walking about carrying a unconscious villain by the scruff of their outfit to police officers.

"Rexhemoth's back in town? And he looks well so his mission was successful I suppose." Desmond spoke absentmindedly. "So about the device that came with you, you said you touched it and it also brought you here? What is it if I may ask?" Desmond thought small talk would be best to get to know them and their situation.

Violet nodding as she smiled. "Good" She said holding out her hand shaking Demonds hand. "That's better" She said as she turned to her team mates to make sure that everyone was ok. "So what are we going to do?" Tourmaline asked "Well for now we have no choice but to trust these strangers" Violet said. "We are in another world with different laws and while it was a shaky start they clearly intend to help us" Sigel sighed. "I feel like this is going to be a problem with you in the future" he said towards Violet. "Well as long as they don't go threatening us there will be no problem." Violet said dead-pan. "No I agree with Violet on this one they just were about to shoot Tourmaline's brothers then go acting like it wasn't a big deal cause it would have only knocked them out like we knew that." Violet nodded. "Right so for now let's keep to ourselves don't use the mics it seems they can listen in on it. We'll have to use our sign language, Loden allow Tourmaline to connect to you while we are here" Loden gave a thumbs up as she pulled out the mic from her scarf and put it in her pants pocket. the other followed suit. With understanding Violet turned back to the hero's. "Ok with the misunderstanding out of the way where are we going now?"