#the one with the gun I clearly drew wrong was a one piece x school bus graveyard AU

[chaoticlad]

It’s that time again‼️ (the cringy) Doodle dump‼️‼️‼️‼️

Crappost

[gemma-lemma]

Cloudy Days - JJ Maybank x Male OC

1.5 – Stay out of the marsh

 When Parker woke the next morning, it was to a lady walking past the sofa he was crashing on. Once he realised that she didn’t just have awful taste concerning the colour of her clothing, but was actually wearing a cop’s uniform, he was suddenly wide awake and frantically scrambled to the end of the bed within 1.5 seconds, as far away from her as possible. Wide-eyed and heavy breathing he stared at her. Unimpressed she stared back, an eyebrow raised and a hand lazily on her hip.

“Do I have to be concerned about why this is your first reaction to seeing a cop?” She asked finally, voice husky, but pleasant. It reminded Parker of a home he’d never had. He shook his head slowly to get rid of the steadiness her persona seemed to emanate, and remembered that she was still a cop. He had met cops like that before, and they had been just as bad as all the others. Some even worse.

“Do I have to be concerned about you sneaking around my cousin’s house at eight in the morning?” He shot back after a quick glance towards the clock on the wall. She raised the corner of her mouth and formed her eyes into slits, as if she was saying ‘touché’.

“Your cousin’s house? That must mean you’re Big John’s nephew, am I right? Tamara’s boy.” She concluded and he nodded curtly, not really liking the idea of talking to a cop in general. Even less liking the idea of a cop knowing anything about his family. “My name is Sheriff Susan Peterkin. I need to talk to John B. Do you know where he is?”

Weighing how good of an idea it could possibly be telling her lies, Parker decided that she would go check in his room anyways and thus just nodded towards it. “He’s in his room. Fast asleep, I assume.”

She nodded and went on. Parker used the moment to go to the bathroom and get somewhat ready for the day. His shirt was completely sweaty, though, so he just shrugged it off and threw it in some corner. When he came back out, John B was already talking to Sheriff Peterkin.

“…of the things I heard, was that your Uncle Teddy, your guardian, hasn’t been in the state for three months.” Peterkin said, leaning on the wall to get a better look at a picture that hung there. John B quickly tried to clean up a little, and Parker decided to just stand back and watch the situation unfold.

“Yeah, that’s false.” He tried to save his ass, but she just lazily waved a hand at him.

“You don’t have to say anything, I know it’s true. I called the school.” She said without even looking at him. Parker studied her side profile, the way she talked and moved. She seemed jovial, and it unsettled him because it comforted him. The last jovial cop he had met had tried to get into his pants. Not very pleasant memories. He had almost gone to jail for decking him.

“They said you used to be a good student, but now you’re failing all your classes.” She said and walked over to the table, where she picked up the remainders of a joint and sniffed at them with a disgusted expression.

“No, no. It’s only one, and it’s history. The dude’s a dick. He’s out for me-“

“And I heard there was a fight on the beach yesterday.” Peterkin interrupted John B, clearly not caring about his excuses. “And a gun was involved.”

Now she looks like an angry mom, Parker thought, and immediately had to think about his own mom. He quickly pushed the memories down.

“Okay, alright. A gun? No.” John B lied, doing a miserable job at trying to convince her. He patted a hand on her shoulder and Parker had to stop and stare a moment just to admire his horrendous stupidity and balls of steel. Back at home, if you even so much as looked at a cop the wrong way, they would beat you up real good or worse. But Peterkin didn’t seem to mind as much as the cops in Jacksonville. In fact, all he got was a glare.

“Did I get in a dust-up? Yeah, but was there a gun? Pft. No. No way.” John B said.

“That’s okay. I know who it was. I’ll get to him.” Parker didn’t like the sound of that. JJ was a hothead and would most probably do something incredibly stupid. “All I’m worried about right now is making sure you’re in a safe home. And you.” She pointed a finger at Parker, who theatrically laid a hand on his chest and made a questioning expression. “I bet you’re not eighteen either. What can you tell me ‘bout your living situation?”

“Yeah, super safe. Super sound, sturdy, you know me.” John B scoffed, and Parker added: “I’m just on vacation, Lady. I’ll be gone soon one way or another.” He ignored the sting that truth gave him.

“Nah I don’t like the sound of that. I’m gonna keep an eye on you, too.” Peterkin said and eyed him sceptically.

John B quickly added: “And, Uncle T is comin’ back, so…”

“That what he told you? Well, if he’s really coming home, I think you should be allowed to stay.” Peterkin said, obviously not believing the Routledge boy. Parker couldn’t help but wonder why she would do that.

“Thank you.” John B said in a duh-tone.

“But if I stick my neck out for you, you have to help me. Tit for tat.” Peterkin said, and immediately summoned a picture of another Jacksonville PD detective in Parker’s head, who was as corrupt a cop as they could get. Hell, he probably sold and snorted more drugs alone than most of the dealers he busted together.

John B scratched his temple. “What does -what does tat mean?”

“Let me see, how can you help me? Oh, I know. So, a body was found in the marsh yesterday. Were you in the marsh yesterday?”

That piqued Parker’s interest, because it was not what he would have expected.

“Yeah, we were fishin’ for some drum.” John B said and cast a quick glance at Parker, who made a grimace that was supposed to tell his cousin to not spill a thing.

“Did you catch anything?” Peterkin asked.

“Nah, we were skunked.” John B said and quickly turned away before looking at her again. He wasn’t as bad a liar as Parker had feared.

“Strange. Fishing’s usually good after a storm. All sorts of things get stirred up.” Peterkin mumbled in a tone that said ‘You’re a good liar, but I know you’re talking shit, kid’. “You come across a wreck yesterday?”

John B feigned thinking for a second before denying. Peterkin held up a hand to mimic water-level.

“You’re skimming just above the surface, John B.” She sank her hand a little and drew circles with a finger. “Now, down here is foster care, juvie. Pretty big drop for a smart kid like you.” She raised her hand to eye level. “Up here is you and your little friends doing whatever you want. Outer Banks – or foster care on the mainland.”

John B sat down, Parker shifted. Peterkin was different from all the cops he had ever encountered, and he didn’t know what to make of it yet.

“You’re one inch above the surface, boy. If I was you, I’d start flappin’ my wings. Now, you sure, you didn’t come across a wreck yesterday?”

John B shook his head. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m sure.” Peterkin turned around to face Parker. “How about you? See anything unusual?”

Parker chuckled and shrugged. “I haven’t been here in years, how the hell would I know what’s unusual?” He gave her a look that made it clear she wouldn’t get a single word out of him. She gave him a look that said ‘Just you wait, I’m gonna figure you out soon enough’.

She looked back and forth between the two of them, and Parker imagined seeing a hint of worry in her dark eyes. “It’s better if you didn’t, you understand? I’m going to look the other way, as long as you stay out of the marsh.”

She started out the door, but turned around one last time, disgustedly eyeing the Château. “I got dogs living better than this, John B. You might wanna think about cleaning up. And you.” She pointed two fingers at Parker, mimicking watching him. “Remember, I’m gonna keep an eye on you, Cloud.”

And like that, she was gone. Parker couldn’t help but wonder how she still remembered his name. He definitely didn’t want to meet her again.

John B threw a can against the wall and put his head in his hands.

“She’s unusual.”, said Parker, but his cousin didn’t bother to look up towards him. He decided to walk outside and take a nap in one of the hammocks.

 Parker didn’t know how long he had slept, but the next thing he knew were soft fingers brushing the hair out of his face and a melodic voice telling him to wake up.

“Leave me alone.” He mumbled and tried to turn away, forgetting that he was in a hammock and falling right out of it. Kiara’s laugh rang loud and clear.

“Oh, Parker, I tried to do it softly.” She smiled and crouched down beside him while he groaningly sat back up. He was shirtless, but when he looked up at the darkhaired girl, she did not only hold a hand out towards him, but also a crumpled piece of fabric.

“You brought be a shirt?” He asked confused, but she just laughed.

“It was lying around, and you get burned so easily. You’re lucky the hammock’s in a shadowy spot. Your sunburn’s already kinda nasty.” She gave his red shoulders a quick glance before helping him up. To his surprise, the piece of fabric turned out to be a light blue long sleeved shirt, which he just draped on but left unbuttoned. It even kinda fit his black shorts. Jokingly, he posed and wiggled his eyebrows.

“How do I look?”

“Fantastic.” Kiara giggled, and they walked over to where the others were, sitting down on a small couch. On the small table in front of it was a pair of bongos.

“Do you know how to play the bongos?” Kiara purred, and Parker shook his head.

“I know how to play the guitar, though.”

Her eyes lit up in delight. “You know how to play the guitar? That’s awesome! Listen, you teach me how to play the guitar, and I teach you the bongos. Deal?”

Parker smiled. “Deal.”

Their bongo session didn’t last very long, though, because John B appeared and announced that he was calling it off. “Peterkin said, if I stay out of the marsh, she’ll help me with DCS.”

“And you believed her?” JJ asked incredulously from his spot in the sun.

“Yes, JJ, I believed her.”

“An actual cop, John B. You believed a cop.” JJ looked at Parker. “What are you even good for if you just let him believe the cops, man?”

Parker shrugged. “I can’t decide what he believes in or not. You know, I’ve made the experience that people usually only learn from their mistakes once they start turning around and biting them in the ass.”

“Great support, Parker, thanks.” John B said sardonically. Then he turned back to JJ. “All I gotta do is stay out of the marsh for a few days, and she’ll help me out. It doesn’t help that your ass was the one shooting a gun.”

“You know what I should have done? Just let Topper drown your ass.” JJ retorted and Parker leaned closer to Kiara while the two of them kept bickering.

“Is his name really Topper?” He whispered, waiting for her to tell him it was some kind of stupid nickname.

She nodded her head. “That’s his actual name.”

“God, that guy just keeps getting worse and worse. First, he has frosted tips, then his name is Topper. What’s next? Golf?” Parker shuddered and Kiara and Pope giggled.

“They always, always win.” JJ said desperately and boxed a buoy hanging from the roof.

“Look, it’s okay!” Kiara shouted and he turned around.

“No, it’s not! They don’t want us to go down into the marsh. That means there’s something valuable down there, and you know it.”

“He does kinda have a point.” Parker mumbled and JJ looked at him gratefully.

“See, even Parker agrees, and he’s like – a total chicken.”

“Fuck you too, Maybank.”

“Okay – just listen. I understand why you don’t wanna go.” He pointed at Pope. “You’re the golden boy, you got way too much to risk.” He looked at Kiara. “And you, I mean, you’re already rich as fuck anyway. Why would you bother?”

Parker rolled his eyes at JJ, who now turned back towards John B. “But you and me, man? We got nothing to lose, we really don’t. And from what I can tell, neither does Parker anymore.”

Parker leaned back in the cushions of the couch. “Asshole.”

“But am I wrong? I know it didn’t use to be that way to you.” He said the last part to John B again.

“I don’t want to talk about this. I just don’t wanna talk about it.” John B mumbled and pushed past JJ, away from the group.

“So that’s just it?” JJ called after him. “John B, listen to me, I have a plan.”

He walked after John B and talked to him about scuba gear and rich kids not going to foster care, until John B finally agreed.

Parker rolled his eyes and leaned back, already seeing how this whole thing was going to blow up in their faces.

[ughseoks-main]

follow me - |2|

peter parker x reader

summary: you just got your spidey powers and have no idea how to use them, but lucky for you, a certain spider-boy is willing to teach you his ways.

word count: 1.9k

warnings: small fight scene 

a/n: guys..... y’all dont even know what i have in store for this series.... ch1&2 may seem chill, but it’s gonna get crazy soon. i’m so excited to keep posting it eee!! enjoy!

chapter 1 - chapter 3

“Y/N! You’re gonna be late for school!” your mom yelled up the stairs, only panicking your tired mind even more.

“I know, I know!” you shouted back, “I’m hurrying!”

You’d been out all night practicing with Spidey (that’s the nickname you’d given him, since you didn’t know his real name), and when your alarm went off at 6am, you may have hit the snooze button one too many times.

Spidey had been trying to teach you how to stick and unstick to things, but you just couldn’t get the hang of it. After hours of frustration and countless accidents, you both decided that it’d be best to take a break and keep working on it at your next practice. But now, you had the issue of accidentally sticking to objects at random. (For example: you’d accidentally gotten stuck to your toilet when you’d tried to flush it the night before.)

“Bye mom!” you shouted as you ran out the door and started jogging towards school. All you could do on the way there was hope and pray that you didn’t accidentally stick to something, or somebody, at school.

___________

It all started when Peter had sat down at your lunch table, asking you a question about your chemistry homework. When you leaned over to look at the work he’d done wrong on the problem, you’d placed your hand on his forearm.

Big mistake. Now, you were sitting there, unable to let go of him. You smiled awkwardly and tried to tug away, but your hand wouldn’t budge.

“Uhh, Y/N?” Peter asked, confusion evident in his voice, “Is, uh, everything okay?”

“Y-yeah!” you tried to play off the situation as cooly as possible, “Why? Are- are you okay?” You attempted to direct the question back at him in order to hide your panic.

“Yeah, I’m okay… but are you?” he looked more concerned than anything, but you were still worried that he’d think you were insane.

(Inside, Peter felt terrible for not being able to help more; he felt that he’d failed as a teacher, because clearly you were struggling. If you didn’t get this figured out soon, you’d be able to accidentally reveal your powers to almost anybody.)

“Of course!” you plastered on the biggest smile possible and gave it one last tug, your hand finally unsticking from him. “I’ve gotta go, I’ll see you later!”

“Wait, we weren’t done with the worksheet-”

“Bye!” you smiled, scooping up your things and practically sprinting away from him. Your sneakers slapped the floor as you ran through the cafeteria doors, slowing to a walk once you were back in the hallway. As you caught your breath, your attention shifted to the small television mounted above your head.

“Crime rates have been on the rise for the past two months, and we have no doubt that they will continue to increase,” the news anchor announced grimly, “We advise that you take extra measures to keep you and your family safe. Always lock your doors, walk in pairs at night-”

You shook your head and blocked him out, placing that tidbit of information in the back of your mind for later.

____________

Kick. Punch. Dodge. These were the three words that would haunt you in your sleep for the next hundred years.

Spidey was currently training you on how the basics of hand-to-hand combat, and while you were a quick learner, he was much more skilled than you. Even though you’d been training for at least two hours, you’d yet to win a match against him even once.

You threw a punch, but he caught your fist, twisting your arm and slamming you down.

“Ouch,” you exhaled, slowly sitting up from where you were laying on the ground, “Hey, can I ask you something?”

“Go for it,” he shrugged, extending a hand to help you up, “We could probably use a short break anyways.”

“Have you seen the news reports? The ones about crime rates increasing?”

“Yeah, but I’m not sure why it’s increasing. It’s something I’ve been trying to figure out-”

Suddenly, a scream rang through the night air, causing both of you to tense up. His head snapped towards you before nodding slightly in the direction of the scream. “Let’s go. Training can wait.”

Bobbing your head in agreement, the two of you took off, jumping from rooftop to rooftop. As you drew closer, you felt Spidey to become increasingly worried. Why? Hadn’t he done this a billion times before?

“What’s up?” you shouted towards him, trying to make yourself heard over the rush of wind in your ears.

“I know somebody who lives here,” he replied, concern and nervousness evident in his slightly shaky voice, “I just hope it wasn’t them.”

As you drew closer towards the place of origin, your spider senses began to direct you towards a large apartment building. It seemed that Spidey was feeling the same tug in his gut. You landed on the roof, climbing down the side of the building until you reached a window that was practically screaming at you.

Spidey shoved it open before slipping inside, you following immediately afterwards. You heard shuffling and signs of struggle coming from what you assumed was the living room as soon as your feet dropped onto the carpeted floor. Spidey was already turning the corner when you dropped, so you sped up to try to catch him.

When you finally reached him, you froze in place when you saw a masked man holding a gun to the head of a woman with long, reddish-brown hair. Much to your surprise, she didn’t seem very nervous at all. In fact, she looked more surprised to see you than she was at being held at gunpoint.

“Thanks for stopping by, Spider-Man,” the criminal sneered, malice and anger soaking into his words, “So glad you could make it. Say, who’s this new girl? I haven’t seen her around before.”

“Can it, would ya?” Spidey quipped, his senses practically radiating anger.

“I don’t think I will,” he shrugged, “It seems I can do just about whatever I want, considering I’m holding this lovely lady hostage here.”

“Not for long,” the hero murmured under his breath before shooting a web onto the end of the gun. This surprised the criminal enough for you to sprint over and kick him sideways across the face, immediately tackling him and pinning his arms behind his back. You held him in place until Spidey came over, quickly using his webs to tie together his wrists and legs.

“Nice work,” he gave you an excited nod, holding his hand up for a high five, “That was pretty slick. I didn’t even need to tell you what I needed you to do.”

“You work well together,” the woman inserted herself into the conversation, “Thanks, you two.”

Throwing up a hand, you waved dismissively, telling her it was no big deal. As you did so, you tried to get a good look at her face. You were sure that you knew her from somewhere, but you just couldn’t place your finger on it.

“Are you okay, Ma’am?” Spidey asked in a trying-too-hard-to-be-serious voice, eliciting a small giggle from the woman.

“I’m just fine thanks to you two, Mister Spider-Man,” she gave him a knowing look, making you wonder if they knew each other better than they were letting on.

“So,” he scratched the back of his neck, “H-how’s Peter?” Something was off about the way he asked the question; the little sparkle in the woman’s eyes when he spoke.

“Peter?” you interrupted, “As in Peter Parker? You know him, Spidey?”

“I’m Peter’s Aunt,” the woman answered before Spidey could, sticking out her hand for you to shake, “Sorry, I should’ve introduced myself earlier. You can call me May.”

“Nice to meet you, May,” you took her hand, giving her a genuine smile. It seemed like Spidey was about to answer the question you’d asked when suddenly the criminal spoke up, finally recovering from that kick to the head.

“So, you’re gonna put me in jail, just like you did to the boss?” the man growled, a sick sense of humor in his voice. Spidey simply shrugged, opening the door for the perfectly-timed police. The man didn’t say anything else as he was cuffed and dragged away, but his eyes never left you. It made your skin crawl.

“Can we get out of here?” you shivered, wanting to escape the man’s gaze. Spidey agreed, the two of you waving goodbye to May before slipping back outside.

You slowly made your way up to the roof, dangling your legs off the edge and gazing out at the city sprawled beneath you. There was something beautiful about it, and in that moment, you were incredibly thankful to have been given the opportunity to experience it in the way that you were. It seemed like you and Spidey had been sitting there staring out at the glowing lights for forever when you finally broke the silence.

“So, you mentioned back there that you know Peter?” you asked quietly. For some reason, you felt like if you spoke too loudly, the peace of the night would shatter around you in a million broken pieces.

“Oh yeah,” his voice was smooth and soft, carried by the soft breeze towards you, “I know him through Tony Stark. We both have internships there.”

“That’s cool,” you rested your chin on the palm of your hand, “I know him through Stark too, actually.”

The second the words came out of your mouth, you knew you’d messed up. Obviously Spidey had a Stark internship; he was basically Stark’s apprentice. But how many normal people got those internships?? Not very many. And you’d just revealed that you were one of the few who’d been awarded one. Considering how close he was with Tony, it wouldn’t be that hard for him to just ask for a list of all of the interns and figure out it was you.

Bu, much to your surprise, Spidey had no reaction to what you said. All he did was blink and turn his head back towards the city, only to be startled by his phone beginning to ring. It sounded like… yodeling?

“Sorry,” he held it up to his ear after a few rings, “Hey…”

You politely tuned out his conversation until he hung up, apologizing once more for it interrupting your conversation.

“It’s totally fine,” you paused for a moment, debating on whether or not to say what you were about to say, “You know, that ringtone sounds kinda familiar. I think that’s actually Peter’s ringtone-”

“That’s because, uh,” he stammered, trying to come up with an explanation, “That’s because we’re good friends! We’re really good friends and we wanted matching ringtones, that’s all.”

“Oh. That makes sense, I guess,” you shrugged, “Well, I should probably get going. I don’t want my mom to freak over me being out so late.”

“I’ll probably stay and keep watch for another hour or so,” he waved goodbye to you as you stood up from the ledge, “I’ll see ya later.”

“Bye,” you smiled before leaping off of the roof and swinging away, leaving the hero and all of his mysteries behind you. Maybe one day, you’d figure out the truth behind the mask.

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[secretreylostan]

Episode X: Divide & Conquer (read from the beginning)

Am I allowed to be proud of a chapter? If so, then I am proud of this one. It may only be perfect in my brain, but that’s okay. It’s still perfect in my brain. At least it’s perfect somewhere. Best part, I think it can stand alone, so... I’m posting the whole thing, because I want everyone to read it. I’m putting it up on my virtual refrigerator, because I want to show it to the world. And tagging some writers I like, cause what the hell. @leofgyth @plantsandlamps @thebitchesofdathomir 

Ben’s anxiety on the way to Yavin 4 was overwhelmingly high. 

Rey contacted Finn en route and explained what had happened via hologram, while Ben piloted ship. It was important for him to have some semblance of control, even if it was only of the Falcon. “Wow.” Finn said after hearing the story. “Rey, I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine what you must be feeling right now,” Finn said, his face filled with concern. “Do you have any ideas at all of who took them?” “We have one idea. It’s… far fetched. But it’s all we’ve got for now. We’re going to do research on abducted Force sensitives in the Archives on Atzerri, but there’s so much to look through. Finn, I need your help.” “Of course, whatever you need. How are you holding up?” Rey sighed and looked at her old friend. Other than Ben, Finn was the only person who Rey felt understood her, even if he struggled to understand her relationship. He asked her this because he genuinely cared about her, and that gave her strength. “Honestly Finn… without them, I’m feeling more and more… hollow. Just, numb. I don’t even think I can cry anymore, I’m just… I don’t know. I’m trying to stay focused. It’s all I can do.” “I get it. I can’t imagine if someone took the girls away.” Finn and Rose now had three daughters, including a pair of twins. They were all beautiful. Rey smiled as she thought of them. Their oldest, who was two years younger than Sky, would follow him around adoringly whenever the families were together, while Hannah and the twins, who were almost the same age, always got into mischief.

Rey’s world darkened as she thought of them. Her eyes welled yet again and her lips shook. She covered her face with her hands. “Oh Rey, I’m so sorry-” “No, it’s fine, I just... I guess I do have more tears after all.” Rey laughed a little bit, to try and jar herself out of her crying jag. She wiped at her eyes and shook her head. “Just get here. We’ll do everything possible, we’ll comb every inch of this galaxy until we find them, okay?” Rey smiled and nodded. “We’ll be there soon.” “I’ll tell Poe.” “Thank you, Finn.”   Both Poe and Finn were waiting for them when they landed. Poe had moved the base of many of his professional obligations to Yavin 4 after the end of the war. His current pet project was starting a flight school to train the next generation of Alliance pilots. 

As one of the heads of the Alliance Armed Forces, Dameron was always surrounded by some sort of entourage and today was no exception. There were several officers and fully armed service members standing with them on the landing field, blasters drawn, but not aimed. This was the first time the couple had been to Yavin 4. It was also the first time Ben had been around these men without the buffer of his children. Things had gotten, if not better, at least easier in the six years since that first party for Sky. But the relationship between the men was certainly not comfortable.

Finn had seen too much as a member of the First Order to truly embrace Ben Solo, but he did what he could, for Rey. Poe Dameron had punched Ben every time he saw him, just as he promised he would. He’d actually gotten pretty good at surprising him. Dameron must have trained himself to be spontaneous about it, because Ben often didn’t see it coming.

But this time, Ben was ready. He couldn’t wait for Captain Flyboy to clock him. Not only would it feel amazing, but then he could also justifiably beat him to within an inch of his life. He was practically salivating with anticipation. Ben sauntered up to Poe and the two of them stared each other down. Ben smirked. “What, no kiss?” Ben said snidely. “Oh, my fist would love to kiss you, Solo, right on the mouth, but quite frankly you look like hell and I think you’d like it too much.” Poe stepped a little closer and searched his eyes.

“Welcome to my home. Try not to break anything.” Poe moved beyond him to Rey. “Come ‘ere kid, how you holding up?” he said, as he put his arm around her.

Ben got an ugly look on his face and stormed off, growling at the entourage to get out of his way. That piece of banthashit was good for nothing. The service members eyes followed him as he stomped into the base. Rey felt a slight pain in her belly. The couple was staying with Finn and Rose in their modest home. Rey thought it would feel comforting to be with her friends and their family, but it was actually very hard. Being around Finn’s girls was a terrible reminder that the couple was not with their own children. 

It was difficult to concentrate, and towards the end of the night, Ben had to get out of the house. He was suffocating. He started a fire outside and sat near it, pensive. All of Ben’s darkest thoughts were coming to haunt him. They flooded in through the gaping hole in his soul where his children should be. I deserve this. For the past ten years he had been fooling himself, thinking he could have a normal life, hidden away from the galaxy with the woman he loved and the beautiful children she bore him. 

He was a monster, a killer, responsible for the deaths of thousands of beings unknown to him, and of course, one man he knew very well.

For the first time in a long time, Ben yearned for his mask, something to shield him and hide him from himself.     He was in the middle of these nightmarish musings when he sensed someone coming up behind him. Ben was wound so tight, he almost drew his saber. Instead he searched the Force to find it was Dameron. It was only the decade he’d spent building his patience that had stopped him from slicing the man in half. But, in a strange way, he was glad to have his thoughts interrupted. Poe had two open bottles in his hand. He held one out to Ben. Ben shook his head. “I’m fine.” “Come on, we’re not finding them tonight. And you look like you could use one. Or ten.” Ben took the bottle from Poe and took a swig. He coughed, “You’re still drinking this garbage? Can’t the Alliance come up with anything better for it’s leadership?” “I can’t help it, I love the stuff,” Poe said as he sat across from him. “You’re a madman.” “I’ve been called worse.” Ben chuckled a little before growing serious again. “So have I.” “Eh, don’t be too hard on yourself.” “Is that a joke?” “Most definitely.” Ben rolled his eyes while both men drank from their bottles. “You know, you are different though. Then you were.”

Ben grew visibly tense. “Oh?” “I mean, even in all this.” Poe gestured around with the bottle. “When I heard about Sky and Hannah, I flipped. I was ready to mobilize, guns blazing, typical Poe Dameron bullshit. Thank the stars Connix got me to chill out. But I did put forty troopers on standby in anticipation of you showing up here and blowing up all my stuff. They had no idea why, of course.”

Ben’s nostrils flared. He wasn’t sure where this was going.

“You've surprised me, though. You seem... in control. Clearly, you and Rey are totally shot and that is completely understandable. But you haven’t killed any of my men or thrown anyone into a wall. I haven’t seen your saber once since you’ve been here. That’s impressive.”

Ben snorted as he shook his head. He took another sip. “It’s not easy,” he said eventually, quiet.

“I’m sure it’s not.” “This has all been… challenging.” Ben leaned down and rubbed the back of his neck, trying to relieve some of his tension. “I bet. Tell you what, I kinda feel a little bad for whoever took ‘em because, man… they messed with the wrong guy.”

Ben eyes got darker as he stared into the flames. “They deserve what’s coming to them,” Poe said, forcefully. Ben met Poe’s eyes and held them for a moment, then returned his gaze to the fire. “I want you to know…” Poe started and stopped, cleared his throat. “You know, I really did love your mother. She was like a mother to me and a mentor.” 

Ben glanced at Poe but said nothing. “I’m sure Rey told you what I promised her.” “Rey doesn’t need to tell me anything. We have no secrets… But in this case yes, she told me what my mother asked of you.” There was a moment of silence while both men figured out what they wanted to say. “I’m sorry she did that.”

“Yeah, well…so was I,” Poe replied. “But not so much anymore." He paused a moment to collect his thoughts.

"Do you remember Sky’s party, the first one off Endor?" he asked Ben. "Hannah was still just a little peanut, barely two months maybe...” “She was four months old.” “Yeah, like I said, a little peanut still.” It was Sky’s third birthday. If Sky at two had enjoyed playing with Poe, Sky at three could not get enough. And chatty! The kid didn’t stop. “Poe! Poe! Here, look at this!” Running, jumping, showing Poe his new home, his new sister, the animals, the garden. Poe was having a blast with Sky, but dang, he was getting the crap kicked out of him by a three foot tall tornado. Eventually the night wound down and Sky was clearly tired. He was getting whiny in the way kids do. While running around, he tripped and started to cry. 

Poe watched Sky lift off the ground and float across the yard into the waiting arms of his father. Ben sat down with him by the fire and wiped his tears. “You’ve had a pretty big day, little man.” “Yes,” Sky sniffled and snuggled into his father’s broad chest.  “Papa, can I tell you a story?”

“I’d never heard anything like it. Usually with kids it’s ‘Tell me a story,’ right? Not that little bird, oh no. He wants to tell you one.”

“Of course,” Ben replied, pushing Sky’s hair off his forehead.

“So, Sky starts telling you a nonsense story, sitting in your lap. And he’s forgetting words as he goes and getting lost, probably because he’s so tired he can barely keep his eyes open, and you just keep filling in the blanks and leading him on, so patiently… it was hard to believe.

"Until finally, he’s out. And you put your chin on his head, totally… content. No tension, no malicious intent. Just, peaceful. “Needless to say I was conflicted by the scene. I mean, I spent a lot of time trying to murder you, man. A lot of good people died in the war, people I cared about. Your mother. But in that moment, I kind of… forgot. It was the first time I didn’t want to clock you.

"So I move towards the fire, but I’m still a tough guy, so I decide to mess with you a little bit. See what you’ll do.” “Hey, you ever use that Force sleep to get ‘em down?” Ben shot Poe a dark look. “Never.” “Come on, you serious? You’re exhausted, baby’s crying, nothing’s working… it’d be so easy to just... knock ‘em out.” Poe clucked his tongue and waved his hand. “I would never do that to my child.” Ben got up with Sky, presumably to put him to bed and avoid a confrontation. “Sure, sure.” Poe glared at Ben, wanting to remember how much he hated him. “It’s gotta be tempting sometimes, though, right?” Ben looked over at Poe, his son is his arms. His eyebrows raised slightly and he smirked. “Maybe sometimes,” he said, and winked. “I swear, Solo, in that moment... you looked just like your mother, this look she used to give me when I was being a smart-ass and she was putting me in my place.

"And it hits me. This guy... he’s just a guy. He’s Leia’s son. He loves his kids and he loves his wife and he’s doing what he can to do right by them.

"I hadn’t… I hadn’t been able to separate, to see you as anything other than the beast in my brain. But that night, something shifted a little bit for me. I could see something else, past the mask.” Ben’s face looked pained, but also a bit touched. He stared at the fire as he contemplated what he’d heard.

"A lot of people died because of me," he whispered.

"A lot of people died because of me," Poe countered.

The two men looked at each other for a long moment. “Your mother was right. She knew you’d need friends,” Poe said. Ben's eyes returned to the fire. “My mother was often right,” Ben replied, quietly. “That she was,” Poe agreed, his voice lightening. “She’d be super pissed right now, I’ll tell you.” Ben smiled just a little bit, causing his mouth to tremble slightly. “Yes, she would be.” It was not the first time in the past ten years that Ben Solo wished he had his mother. She would know what to do. The two men sat silently watching the flames, pensive, their heads filled with bittersweet memories. Poe abruptly stood up and cleared his throat. Ben leaned back, crossed his arms over his chest and blinked rapidly.

“Well, I’m calling it. Considering who knows what our lives are gonna be like for a while here, it’s probably a good idea to get some sleep.”

As Poe walked by Ben, he put his hand on his shoulder. Ben jumped just a little bit. “Hey.” Ben turned his head towards the hand, but did not look up. “We’re gonna find them, Solo. Don’t worry.”

Ben nodded. Poe turned to walk away. “Dameron,” Ben turned his head towards Poe’s departing figure. “Yeah?” Poe said, turning back. “...Thank you,” Ben said, turning his head back towards the fire. Poe had no idea what it cost the man to say that to him, but he imagined it was a lot. He turned around and started to walk away. “Eh, don’t mention it,” he called over his shoulder.

Poe just couldn’t help being a smart-ass.