#the one where someone doesn't know who kevin day is

[fangirl-overload13]

People are so caught up in power dynamics that they forget that Kevin really only listens to the people he respects.

He holds Jeremy and probably most, if not all of the Trojans and their coaches in high regard and is willing to follow their judgment on things.

He also seems to know Jeremy on some form of personal level and is willing to share things with him no one outside of his inner circle like the monsters or the Foxes would know.

He isn't submitting to Jeremy because of his authority or power, he's respecting him for the person he is.

Jean has an ingrained view of authority or power, never talk back to a coach regardless of the team, can't argue with judgment from captain or vice captain, needs to follow orders or else...

Kevin knew that Jeremy, out of everyone he knew could be trusted not to take advantage of that.

"He'll submit if you tell him to"

"Literally the most awkward way you could have phrased that"

Just goes to show that he's not going to try to use the situation to his advantage.

Kevin Day holds nothing but respect for Jeremy Knox and trusts him with someone important to him knowing how vulnerable Jean is and that he himself wouldn't be able to help him because of their dynamic and ranking.

It doesn't have to come down to dom/sub or anything like that, it comes down to respect pure and simple.

Very important in any relationship, but extremely important for Jean to find someone who can respect him and help with his situation as best suited to his way of understanding.

Hence why Jeremy is his captain, and his partner. "You're success is my success" they are on equal standing while still having the control Jean needs from someone with authority. Someone to turn to if the situation is too much for him, someone to lean on and depend on in general, though he's 100% going to give as good as he gets and face Jeremy's demons head on for him in return.

Keven likely knows about Jean's life back home and his need to help others and sent him where he'd best be able to open up and be himself without being worried about overstepping and being forced to bow down to others.

Worded and reworded this post but I actually don’t think the Kevin scene is evidence of Jean liking being “bossed around” and I think this fandom misses the entire point with that “bottle blonde sunshine captain who could force Kevin into submission without raising a hand” line.

I think the look on Jean’s face that Jeremy saw was like fondness or something at Kevin being Kevin. But more importantly I think the emphasis in that line was the “without raising a hand”.

While yes the word submission is used, it’s also used in TSC when Kevin is trying to “sell” jean to the Trojans. It’s how they think of things because of the way the nest was structured. In power dynamics. And Kevin, while abused, was still #2 and higher than Jean and the rest of the nest. Jean tells us he’s used to getting whatever he wants. So it’s like a dual thing. 1.) that Kevin finally was not getting what he wanted (because we know he used Jean to get things that he wanted several times over . And 2.) Jeremy was able to win an argument without violence. Which is how Jean learned to settle all arguments.

It’s seen over and over and over again in him. And the entire point of this series is to teach him that violence isn’t the only way. So to dumb all these interactions down to sex dynamics drives me up a wall💀.

[simonsrosebud]

longest chapter i’ve written in quite a while- i’m so sleep deprived rn so pls just pretend to love it… getting back into my devotion for kevin and dalton

spoiler photo of the house (you’ll know after reading) under the cut

[afurtivecake]

You know what my actual favourite Andrew Minyard line in the whole series is? It's not his sentimental lines like, "...from now until May you are still Neil Josten...". It's not even the best love confession in all of literature line, "Doesn't mean I wouldn't blow you." It's when he says "I'm not as smart as I thought I was."

That one line tells you so much about Andrew's character. That's the line that spells out for the reader that Andrew is smarter than he chooses to let on. That's the line that shows you just highly Andrew thinks of his own intelligence and how much he's been relying on it to survive and to keep his promises.

Consider that up until that point Andrew has presented himself with nothing less than the domineering kind of toughness you'd expect to see in a prison scene in a movie. He openly talks about breaking Neil, threatens multiple people with knives and makes everyone work around him. His "tough guy around town" persona and his ability to inflict violence is clearly something he prizes. AND YET. The first time he admits to any kind of dissatisfaction with himself, it's about his intelligence.

That is the point where the reader realizes that Andrew, in his own mind, is an intellectual. He doesn't actually pride himself on being the toughest guy in the room. He's aware that he's all of 5-feet-nothing and he knows at any given moment there's likely to be someone bigger and stronger than he is. What he's counting on in any given situation is being the smartest guy in the room. Fix any issues before they worsen, anticipate and eliminate any threats before they surface, think his way out of any problem that comes up. His intelligence is what he relies on to keep his promises.

That's the moment Andrew realizes that he's been letting his feelings get the better of his logic. He clocks Neil as dangerous from day one. But he's been telling himself that he's letting Neil stay for Kevin's sake or at least just until he can definitively prove Neil is dangerous. But the real reason he let Neil stay and get away with all his sketchy behaviour is because he let the fact that he likes Neil as a person, overcome his logic.

It makes you think, OH, THAT'S WHY Andrew was so interested in Neil in the first place. For someone who prides himself on his intelligence and KNOWS that no one else can match his smarts, Neil figuring out his twin switcheroo trick is the same as Neil throwing down the gauntlet and challenging him to a battle of wits. Andrew keeps trying to trip Neil up and Neil keeps batting his attempts aside and Andrew ends up helplessly charmed by Neil. Because Andrew LIKES that Neil is able to outsmart him sometimes, that Neil is his intellectual equal. And somewhere along the way, he's let himself forget that he "knows better" than to get emotionally attached, than to let someone else best him at his best quality- than to act like every other idiot in love that he's ever met.

You then realize that Andrew hasn't once thought of himself as brawny jock. That off-putting delinquent/school-shooter vibe and "psycho" reputation is a carefully calculated form of self-defense. It's self-defense in the literal sense of scaring off people who might want to fuck with him, but perhaps also in the sense of protecting himself from being seen. It makes sense, right? If people were to actually try to get to know him with an open mind, they'd soon discover that he IS difficult to get along with in ways they thought they could handle, but can't. Better to act the volatile asshole than suffer the disappointment of people changing how they treat him. And in the unlikely case that people find out that he isn't as tough as he presents himself, they might pity him. And that would be even worse. Much better to be as un-fuck-with-able as possible.

First time reading the book, I was taken in by Andrew's jock-ish façade. But the moment he admitted maybe he ought to be disappointed in himself for not being as smart as he thought he was, I had to set the book down and rethink every assumption I had made about Andrew as a character. The timing of that revelation is so perfect, because it happens just before the Thanksgiving mess. And so as the reader, you're suddenly coming to terms with the fact that Andrew is so much more vulnerable than he's ever portrayed himself to be at the same time that Andrew is being hit with probably one of the worst moments in his life. Like, that absolutely TOOK ME OUT. Which is why, that's one of the best lines in the whole series to me.

[exyrpf]

Exyblr Dashboard Simulator based on what I personally see on sportsblr:

1/?

👑 girlbossriko follow

how many bro jobs do you think it took before riko moriyama and kevin day realized that uh.....maybe this wasn't just a bro thing

👢exyinaphonebooth follow

how many times do they have to come out and say they're like brothers before you freakos stop shipping them

👑 girlbossriko follow

????? do i know u

#it's a tumblr post about two exy players that you'lll never meet in your life it really isn't that deep

558 notes

💃fox-me-up follow

ngl that newest fox is kinda 👀

#psu lb #exy lb

8 notes

👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻 talk-exy-to-me

The NARRATIVE that kevin day and neil josten have........son of exy! scouting the rookie-est of rookies from fuck knows arizona........no listen you dont GET IT winning is EVERYTHING TO KEVIN and he would risk it on the foxes? And NEIL? who has only played exy for a year! NEIL Gets his attention!!!!! And hes good and he's getting better every game and he keeps bitching about kevin's ex on live tv BUT WAIT!???? NOT QUITE WHAT YOU EXPECT! Bc then neil shows up with a number on his cheek BECAUSE WELL it turns out they've known each other since they were KIDS! how is everyone not insane w me THEY'RE LITERALLY PERFECT

#where r my fellow njkd truthers #how r u all not here with me this isnt even the start #kevneil #210 #psu #njkd

102 notes

☀�� usctrojanny

every smiley blonde striker (jeremy knox) needs a brunette wet cat emotional support backliner (jean moreau)

#jerejean #usc trojans #i'm just saying 🤷‍♀️

58 notes

👸🏻 kevindazed follow

did he just......

👸🏻 kevindazed follow

guys please tell me i'm not insane

👸🏻 kevindazed follow

HE'S NEVER BEEN????? SKIIING???? KEVIN WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ?????? KEVIN PLEASE

#i i'm going insane i will literally die if someone doesn't explain this to me HE'S NEVER BEEN SKIING?!!!!

407 notes

🧚 goalie-stan

oh....i'm feeling so weak......it'd sure be nice to have a big strong goalie (renee walker) hold me up (renee if you're free on tuesday i am also free on tuesday.........on tuesday this tuesday, any tuesday?)

#literally passing out just thinking about her holding me don't call don't text i'm busy

84 notes

🌄 softkevinday follow

do u think if u offered kevin day essential oils to heal his hand he'd beat you to death

#it'd be hard for him bc he only has one hand but he could probably do it #legally this is a joke don't do this

284 notes

🗣️ jeremyknoxes follow

feeling normal

215 notes

📜 realexyblog

actually exy rpf is fine, i asked kayleigh day herself and she told me it was fine

112 notes

🐋 sexyexy

'exy is a stupid name for a sport' have you considered that a) i don't care and b) it's named that solely so i can make sex jokes about it

11 notes

🏳️‍🌈 gay4stickball follow

is he, ya know *mimes jerking off* an ncaa exy player

#i don't believe that straight exy players exist

56 notes

🙈 ittybittyminny follow

Andrew Minyard!!!!!!! 🥰🥰 short king!!!!🤏🤏😋😋 Awwwwwwww the scrunkly!!!!! 🤗🤗🤗 My boinky boy!!!!!🥺🥺 Crinkly doo,,,,shronkle scrimblo......🥺🥺🥺 rb if you'd scrunkle!!!!!!! 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

📖 sapphic-exy follow

he literally killed someone

🙈 ittybittyminny follow

And? God forbid women do anything

#also no proof he did that #yeah there's proof his twin bro killed someone but that's not the same bc theyre different people #almost killing someone doesnt count

807 notes

🐦‍⬛ edgarallenexy

got told i'm problematic for liking the ravens? THAT'S LITERALLY MY SCHOOL OH MY GOD

2 notes

🌸 softexy

Kevin Day - A Study

#kevin day #psu foxes #palmetto foxes #exy #web weave #poetry #psu foxes #palmetto #edgar allen

378 notes

[lottiesgrl]

𝗱𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗹𝗼𝘁𝘁𝗶𝗲, 𝗻𝗮𝘁, 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝘂𝗻𝗮, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗷𝗮𝗰𝗸𝗶𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝗰𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗴𝗲!

cw: n/a

𝗟𝗢𝗧𝗧𝗜𝗘

*̥˚✧ anthropology major with a minor in media studies (kinda self-indulgent because of the pictures of courtney with her camera...)

*̥˚✧ criminally rich, offers to pay for literally anything you need. textbooks? don't even worry about it. supplies? she's already bought them.

*̥˚✧ also brought her car to campus and has no shame in driving you anywhere and everywhere

*̥˚✧ takes you to the fanciest places around campus, often with little warning. you'll wake up to a message from her offering to take you to a five-star steakhouse that night and you're like ???

*̥˚✧ for all her grand gestures of love, she enjoys more subtler displays of affection, like giving you flowers she finds on walks or writing you love letters

*̥˚✧ looves to study with you - you two have a favorite study spot on campus that's just secluded enough for you two to steal occasional kisses

*̥˚✧ comes to frat parties with you to make sure you're drinking safely (and to occasionally drag your wasted ass back to your dorm)

𝗡𝗔𝗧𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗘

*̥˚✧ undecided but taking courses for like 4 different majors

*̥˚✧ always knows where the best parties on campus and keeps an eye on you the whole time to make sure no assholes are hitting on you

*̥˚✧ bikes everywhere so when she takes you out the two of you have to walk everywhere... that is until she invests in a two-seater so she can ride you to classes and dates

*̥˚✧ you never see her studying but somehow her grades are perfectly fine?? meanwhile you're out here studying 3 hours a day and still can't manage an a in biochem...

*̥˚✧ stealing all her clothes because you like them better than your own. she sees you across campus wearing her leather jacket and texts you to ask how you're enjoying being a thief. she always pretends like she cares but they look better on you anyways

*̥˚✧ you two end up in the same classes and every time you look back at her, she's looking at you

*̥˚✧ asking to come over to "study" but you and her both know it'll end in you making out on her twin xl bed

𝗦𝗛𝗔𝗨𝗡𝗔

*̥˚✧ english literature major with a minor in woman gender and sexuality studies

*̥˚✧ lives in a single after her plans with jackie fell through and you cannot be more grateful. the one time you made out in your own room, your roommate came in and kicked her out. both of you have since learned your lesson.

*̥˚✧ always in the library; if you need her, chances are she'll be there, face buried into a book

*̥˚✧ loves to walk you to classes, even if it means being late to her own class. those who say chivalry is dead clearly haven't met shauna shipman

*̥˚✧ kevin car-nold did make it to college, but he's a little worse for wear. driving in shauna's car feels like a near death experience every time

*̥˚✧ quality time is incredibly important to shauna. her schedule is often so busy that she cherishes any time the two of you get together

*̥˚✧ wakes up FREAKISHLY early, and you have no idea how she does it. when you wake up at 7 am for class, she's already wide awake, laptop in her lap, working on coursework

𝗝𝗔𝗖𝗞𝗜𝗘

*̥˚✧ business major

*̥˚✧ plans her classes so she can spend the most time with you. you're free from one to three? funny, her next class doesn't start until three too! (she planned it that way)

*̥˚✧ takes you out on a million picnic dates. sitting on the quad on her cutesy picnic blanket feeding each other strawberries and she doesn't care who sees

*̥˚✧ if she finds a bug in her dorm, she'll call you over to take it outside, even if you live all the way across campus. and you do it every time

*̥˚✧ survives on sweet treats. she'll pout at you for ten minutes straight if you don't go with her to get a treat after class

*̥˚✧ INCREDIBLY jealous when other people get too close at parties. it's ten times worse when she's wasted. someone could ask you where the bathroom is and she'll be stink eyeing them until you two leave

*̥˚✧ is insistent on living with you off campus later on and has an organized pinterest board for every part of your future space together

[spicyvampire]

Let's talk about Mark & his upbringing, mental illnesses, vampireness and emotions processing, can we talk about Mark & his upbringing, mental illnesses, vampireness and emotions processing, please I've been dying to talk about Mark & his upbringing, mental illnesses, vampireness and emotions processing all day

Putting this under read more cuz it go way longer than I planned, okay So

Part 1 : The only child curse

So last episode we learned that Mark grew up in similar ways to Tong but worst, only child, no mother, there really is only him and his dad (probably the people who occasionally visit the infirmary perhaps?) And Mark has been bedridden for so long no outside people can possibly know him (ep 3)

And this is what is way worst than Tong, cuz even if they stopped Tong from doing literally everything ever, at least he was always surrounded by people his age in the orphanage and at least he does have Tonkla (ep 3)

And while Tong feels betrayed right now, Miss Nuan was probably a warm motherly figure too, where as Mark had no one but his father and when he got turned into a vamp (and his dad died) he had no one but Khun Milf

Part 2 : Maybe the real curse was the depression we got along the way

This means multiple things, first of all, the loneliness and depression Mark is feeling as a vampire probably started way before he got turned aka since he was a sick human, it just was what he was used to, being bedridden for years, and it just got prolonged when his life also got prolonged because he knew nothing else (ep 3) (also lol so Mark was sick & frankly dying until he got turned into a vampire, Edward Cullen getting turned by Carlisle cuz he was dying of the Spanish flu anyone?)

Second of all, Mark was probably never properly socialized as a child or before he became an adult vampire, and I think we can all agree that while Khun Milf is a Mother figure for Mark, she is not exactly the poster person to help someone figure out what the fuck emotional processing is (which okay not her fault, alright, she has an entire vampire empire to run and children to grow for their golden blood 😤, go queen), and as a vamp, as he is basically Khun Milf's personal guard dog he doesn't really have friends either (ep 2)

Like Auntie Wan is there and would probably make for a better teacher for all of this emotion stuff but when you've always been a way, you aren't necessarily aware that something is wrong and u need to change it, and again Khun Milf has no advantage in Mark getting better (she got a bag to get, as is her Vampire Empress God Given Right), so I don't see her pointing him in that direction, except that by making him Tong's main guard, she kinda accidentally did?

Part 3 : The Bodyguard (1992) starring Whitney Houston and Kevin Costner

While since Mark got close to him the changes in Mark have been accelerating (thank you Tong and your fluids we are forever grateful), Guarding Tong has been changing Mark for a while now, emotionally I mean, and how I know this? First of all, the goddamn guitar (ep2)

Like yes it is important you dumbass, like I cannot stress enough how to guard Tong it was not necessary to give him gifts, like this isn't anywhere in the bodyguard handbook, in all those years watching over Tong, Mark genuinely took interests in Tong as a person (which is something Tong craves, because he feels like people consider him as a breakable object needing protection more than a person with an agency), and for someone who has no feeling for anything or anyone, that is a huge goddamn step towards caring for something/someone else, second of all the rose necklace (ep 1)

This fucking necklace, while it was given accidentally at first, is also a genuine gift for multiple reason, like obviously after ep 3 Mark gave that to Tong consciously and permanently, but when it stopped Mark dead in his Golden Blood Lust, it wasn't, and yet that necklace had became of symbol of who he protecting and caring for, so he could not hurt Tong any further

Part 4 : feelings vs vampire senses, unstoppable force vs immovable object (or is it more like hydrogen bomb vs coughing baby?)

So we've established Mark doesn't know how to process emotions or feelings, but the thing is, Mark does know what being a vampire is, he has been that for a while now, so when the emotional changes in Mark started being noticeable by Mark, there was a very huge fucking problem in the way

Tong, being the resident Vampire Tasty Fluids Fountain that he is, a fountain that Mark has sampled multiple times at that, is making it fucking impossible for Mark to differentiate between his feelings for Tong that are slowly growing stronger and the effect of those goddamn fluids on his vampire senses, so when Tong got angry, Mark could not tell why he cared so much about it and immediately blamed it on The Tong Fluids Intakes (ep 3)

But the thing is Mark does genuinely like Tong outside his duty as a vampire bodyguard & the delectable nectar of Tong's various bodily fluids (sweat, as the one that is the most recent), and we know this not only because of the gifts (see part 3), but also because Tong genuinely makes Mark laugh which we only see him do around Tong, and Tong brings out his sense of humor too

He wants to show Tong that he can really take cares of him, and want him to try new things (ep 3)

He also sees how sad Tong is to only be filming a video for Miss Nuan's birthday and immediately decides that he is taking Tong there to see her instead, he let Tong go back to the dorms and to Tonkla, after seeing how restless, bored and lonely Tong is with him and the fight in ep 3, because he thinks that's what Tong would like, even if he thinks Tong would be safer in the house with him

Again Mark doesn't need to be doing all of this, like his job IS to be a bodyguard that's all, but for some unknown reasons (to him at least, my eyes are wide open) he is doing his best so that Tong is comfortable and happy, because he likes seeing Tong comfortable and happy

[ninyard]

Heyy! You said someone should ask you about Kevin under this post about Kevin's struggles from the nest of which we don't know enough... So I'm asking you about Kevin! Please tell us your Kevin thoughts! You always make very good points and I like reading your thoughts!!

cody my friend I am so glad you asked but you might regret it. i hope you're prepared from an unorganised huge convoluted MESS of a ramble

i've been thinking for a few days about this one like... what would a kevin POV look like? what is he hiding? how does he cope? WHO IS HE?

the kevin we ""know"" is a "coward", an insufferable bitch, an asshole and a hardass. other people's opinions and view of him makes up the entirety of our impression of who he is. but that's not who he is. that's just who we're supposed to believe he is.

kevin, born and bred to have this... borderline psychopathic lack of empathy, who can look his teammates in the eye after being told seth is dead or andrew is being committed and say, "what about the game?"

but when the raven's are switching districts; his sense of danger and fear is paralysing. he's three steps ahead trying to figure out how to please riko, how to keep himself safe, willing to put himself back into the centre of his abuse just to stop riko from finding him and killing him. he has to get blackout drunk to deal with any amount of riko. he's frozen with fear by being in the same room as him.

kevin knows where jean's mind and body goes to when hes panicking, knowing his worst place is right back in the nest being drowned by riko. kevin telling neil "do you know what he'll do to you?" and "he'll break you" when neil asks for his ticket. kevin's text to him before he goes into the nest, and staring at neil like he'd seen a ghost when neil returns after the nest (when he looks like the butcher). his comforting "i know what he's like" or "i know how he sees you, i know it means he did not hold back,".

kevin nervous breakdown panic attack day vs kevin smile for the cameras one track exy mind day

im so intrigued by him. how does he cope? his mother is dead, probably killed by the mafia family he was raised by. he grew up into a cult, he was only a child watching neil's father cut a man into pieces in front of him. how many other's had he seen?

how many other injuries cover his body, in places where the cameras can't see? how many rapes and assaults was he forced to watch in the nest? how many beatings was he forced to participate in? what did he have to say to jean in french that he didn't want riko to hear?

he needs someone with him all the time because of the nest. he's a "health freak" because of the nest. his sleep schedule, his anger, his anxiety.

did he say "what about the season?" re: andrew after drake because he doesn't care, or did he think "i've seen this happen too many times. and they've always kept playing,"? did he think "andrew is the strongest person i know. andrew is stronger than me. he would never let this destroy him," knowing that it has?

nobody has protected him in his life apart from the cameras and andrew.

he's scared. he doesn't know what love is supposed to look like.

he's only been a human for a year.

his scars are healing for the first time in his life and they're not being replaced by new ones, but every day he's afraid that that's going to get ripped out from underneath him. his entire life already got flipped upside down when he left the nest. of course exy is the only thing he "cares" about.

because it's the only thing that's been certain in his life, and even for those few weeks or months where he thought he would never play again, he trained and trained, and learned how to use his non-dominant hand because he can't lose this. he can't lose exy like he's lost everything else.

kevin has never had anything stable in his life except for violence and exy. now he has people he's supposed to care about, and he has to change his priorities. he has to learn how live a life that isn't fueled by self-preservation for the first time ever.

jean was only in the nest for five years; and look at him. look at what the nest has done to his social skills, his view of himself, his self esteem. look at what it's done to him, how he expects violence and contrition, coach and always waiting and waiting and waiting for the punishment to come.

kevin might not have had the same level of physical abuse that jean had, but he was there far longer. the ravens existed before him; their mindset and their abuse and their violence and their poison.

he's been drinking the raven poison since his childhood. the only difference between him and jean other than those things above is that kevin had more pressure to hide it, because he was half of the face of the ravens, half of the face of Exy; media trained or PR trained or a master at being a fraud and faking the way he speaks when he's being recorded.

kevin knows how to hide his abuse because he has always had to, and he's had quite a lot of practice at it.

kevin has only been a human for a year. kevin has only been kevin for a year.

so who is he? does he even know?

or is he just Kevin Day, Raven Fox starting striker, number two, six foot two, left handed right handed left handed, heavy racquet, stick size five? is that all he will ever see himself as?

anyways. or something like that. maybe he is just an insufferable bitch for no reason at all. who knows!

[joejhang]

my problem with raven!neil

this may be controversial but i've actually found that i don't rlly like raven!neil fics and aus. and here is my thesis. spoilers ahead continue at ur own risk.

crucial distinction here is that i don't actually dislike the concept of "raven!neil" as an individual character concept. i think it's actually very interesting to look into the sort of person neil would be if things had been slightly different. that is, obviously, the point of au fics and headcanons. my actual problem with raven!neil is mostly when fic writers and the fandom in general put him in context and into au fics and then the problems start arising. i'm being purposefully vague but i'm gonna go into all the problems i've come across when it comes to raven!neil.

first off, and this is something i've mentioned before, i think the fandom tends to strip abuse victims (particularly the characters who got out of the nest) of literally any agency or individuality. this happened with jean, when the whole fandom seemed to collectively uwufy him as if he isn't an adult (yes he's young yes he's barely an adult but he IS and i would argue thinking of him as a child still does him no good) with massive amounts of trauma. yes, jean has a learned fear of riko and tetsuji (and coaches by extension bc of the abuse from raven coaches) but he actually doesn't harbour much fear towards anyone else? he has come to expect violent retribution/punishment and does sort of have this problem where he bares his throat for the knife (when he puts the racquet in rhemann's hands and when he expects laila to hit him back) but other than that he actually doesn't demonstrate a lot of fear or panic when engaging with others.

i think the same would go for neil. the neil in current canon quite literally has no fears that do not trace back to his father. he doesn't fear riko, tetsuji, ichirou, andrew, drake or even lola and his father's men. where he does show fear is whenever his father gets involved. he isn't afraid of riko or anything riko has to say until riko brings nathan wesninski into it. the closest thing he comes to fear for anyone else is when he flinches from wymack but i'd call that survival instinct rather than like...fear. he doesn't have much of an emotional response, just an instinctual and physical one.

we obviously have no idea how neil's fear would develop if he had grown up at the nest. i'm not sure how much of a difference it would've made, honestly. obviously, those eight years on the run heavily reinforced his fear, so i don't really know where that fear would go if he was stagnant at the nest and confirmed (?) to be safe from his father. i think one of neil's key personality traits actually is his bravery and fearlessness, so i can't really see neil ever being truly afraid of tetsuji and riko. if you want to compare jean and neil in this aspect, all i'd say is: people have different responses for trauma. neil is not jean 2.0 or vice versa. even if they were put in virtually the same environment with the same treatment, they are still different people with different personalities. thus, they respond in different ways. just like jean and kevin responded in different ways, though their situations are implied to have been very different.

besides the point of fear and object of fear, i don't actually think being afraid of ur abusers means ur a baby that should be coddled and uwufied by the fandom. it's actually completely normal and human, so i actually have no clue why the fandom decided to do this with jean.

as someone in the tags of one of my previous posts so aptly said, autonomy ≠ agency. did kevin and jean have autonomy in the nest? no. but they did have agency. stripping abuse victims of agency and personality is actually so harmful and i think it's way too normalised in fandom culture. but that's a discussion for another day. we've all heard the comparison of the fear responses in relation to andrew (fight), neil (flight), kevin (freeze) and jean (fawn). i actually think these are mostly accurate, but it doesn't do any good to simplify it so completely.

neil having to remain sedentary rather than running away and never stopping or looking back is inevitably going to alter his responses to situations. neil's knee-jerk reaction to traumatic events or news in the og trilogy is literally: go on a run. this might still be the case in the nest, but i doubt it. i've said before that i think neil is the type of person to fight back. u could argue in response to that that jean was also fierce and angry when he got to the nest but developed something akin to learned helplessness where he simply stopped fighting back as a trauma response. but again: neil and jean are not the same person. they may have similar personalities, but everyone is different. you can't boil down all the victims of a particular abusive situation into the same person. this is stripping them of agency and individuality, once again. jean learned to stop fighting back and even ask for violent punishment for "wrongdoing" but i honestly don't think neil would. again, not because he's superior or inferior to jean, he's just a different person entirely. his time at evermore in trk was effectively a trial run for the time that riko intended neil to spend there after the year ended. we don't know exactly, but it's probably safe to assume that riko tried to cram as much of the abuse that kevin and jean received over several years into those two/three weeks. i mean, neil got fucking waterboarded and handcuffed to the bed for fuck's sake. i think at some point neil does say that he bowed his head and played at subservience, but when it really came down to riko and tetsuji trying to force neil to do something he adamantly did not want to do (sign the raven's contract) he literally just refused and didn't relent even under torture. jean even said he thought riko might've killed neil for it. neil was literally ready to die rather than bend to riko's will.

obviously, things would be different with kevin and jean in the equation. i can see neil reining himself in for their sake, but this brings me to another issue i have with raven!neil. and that is the strange need to turn neil into a protector figure. i.e. a human meat shield with a martyr complex for kevin and jean. every time i sense any iteration of this in any fic or hc i literally have to stop reading. it's just so...like random to me. neil has literally not been a "protector" in canon in fact he's almost always the one being "protected" (andrew's deal to literally protect neil from his father, wymack and abby's protectiveness, etc). yes, neil has protective instincts but so does literally every human being. neil is, in my opinion, no more or less protective than anyone else. compare this to say, andrew, who is known for his role as the "protector" (beating up the guys who hurt nicky, killing aaron's mother + getting rid of his addiction, making deals w kevin + neil). i've also written another extensive essay about why neil isn't and will never be the martyr or sacrificial lamb that some ppl seem to want him to be, so i won't go into it here. just please please please read the series back and realise: neil is quite literally the opposite of a martyr. i just have no idea where the idea of neil as a martyr or protective figure came in. especially in regards to kevin and jean.

it bears noting the first time neil meets riko with kevin there. at kathy's, neil doesn't hesitate to defend kevin and clock riko's shit. but note: defending ≠ protecting. and even if you do want to call that protecting, neil's way of "protecting" has never been in a martyring, self-sacrificial, human shield way. he is almost always on the offensive (clocking riko rather than directly defending kevin, punching riko, etc etc). neil is a natural instigator, and it would be such a disservice to him to erase that characteristic of his in raven!neil fics.

there are also several times in the series where neil's offensive actions have consequences that directly impact his loved ones and other people. like the first time neil insulted riko, a man literally died. the second time, drake attacked andrew. the third, neil took a trip to hell on earth and spent three weeks at evermore. the fourth, the foxes' and other athletes' cars got trashed. there's probably more that i'm not remembering, but you get the idea. neil feels guilt but never regret for this. he literally says verbatim that he isn't sorry for what he said about riko/the ravens even after the cars get wrecked and the others seem to blame him. so while i can see neil ducking his head and submitting to prevent jean/kevin getting hurt, it's also worth noting that if neil really cared that much about consequences, he probably would've stopped openly and loudly insulting riko in public after seth was murdered the first time. neil knew, or at least had a hunch, that it was his fault. did that stop him from doing it again? hell no. it can be both a character flaw and strength, but it's also just a fact. neil does not think that much about consequence. he sort of just does what he wants when he wants. it's a part of his personality. while there's no telling what about his personality would've changed at the nest, the fact that ten years living with a mob boss serial killer and eight years on the run from said mob boss serial killer didn't seem to kill that mouth of his, idk what would.

my final point is that when the raven!neil fic has andreil in it, it turns into andrew "saving" neil from his situation. words can't explain how much i hate this take on things. especially when it usually comes out of nowhere as well. bfr, andrew is not gonna risk his life to "save" some pretty redhead that comes his way without some pre-established connection. i also just think the idea of a "saviour" in a relationship is actually insane. as someone who is consistently pissed off and triggered by imbalance in relationships, this irritates me to no end. andreil obviously are protective and care for each other. that's a known fact. but i feel like w raven!neil fics they tend to exaggerate this and make it insanely one-sided. like andrew is some superhero type figure that needs to save damsel-in-distress neil who has a penchant for out-of-character martyrdom and is trapped in a horribly abusive situation. it sounds like i'm just hyperbolising no this is actually in all of the raven!neil fics that i've read. this exact dynamic. i hate it oh my god. it's not only entirely out of character i don't even think it works for them. like this should not be what their relationship is about or based off of. this last bit might just be a personal thing but i just hate hate hate it and it feels so wrong to force andreil into this kind of a dynamic. just leave my boys alone i'm BEGGING.

the aftg fandom does have this problem that should be addressed where they tend to coddle and uwufy abuse victims (particularly kevin, neil and jean in the context of the nest) and strip them down to easily digestible stereotypes. but this literally could not be further from the truth in canon. y'all forget how actually bitchy neil, jean and kevin are as individuals. kevin's fear of riko and tetsuji is bone-deep, but that never stopped him from picking fights with the foxes and hitting back whenever they had a problem w him (the only exception being andrew, but kevin already said, he lets andrew walk him like a dog out of sort-of thanks that andrew is letting him stay at psu). jean is also sort of an asshole (affectionate) back in the og trilogy and lowk in tsc too. he has a seemingly endless supply of insults for literally everyone and literally thinks about breaking jeremy's fingers for treating him too warily. he consistently gets annoyed when the trojans are too careful with him and remember when he literally threw jeremy to the floor during practice? yeah. seriously, stop boiling down these very traumatised individuals to their fear and history of abuse and erase any other part of their personality that makes them an interesting, well-rounded individual. it's so irritating to read and have to deal with the gross misinterpretation and mischaracterisation of these very well-loved characters. they deserve better, and these things also bely some very pertinent issues within fandom culture at large that should be talked about and critiqued more. jesus this is long anyway thank you for reading.

[elene78-blog]

Neil Josten doesn't like Jeremy Knox. That man smiles too much. He's too nice. His team listens to him without needing to punch someone (where's the fun in that?). Jeremy is also related to politicians, and if Neil knows anything for sure, it's that politicians and gangsters are only different in that politicians lie worse but hide better.

But what he hates most about Jeremy Knox is the way he looks at Jean Moreau. Kevin sent Jean to the Trojans to recover, not to have Jeremy Knox look at him with stupid stars in his eyes. He also doesn't like the way Jean looks at him. If Neil is known for anything, it's for not keeping his mouth shut.

 "I don't like you, Knox," he tells him directly after a game. That the Foxes lost has nothing to do with Neil being in a bad mood. Jeremy's smile only wavers a little. 

"Oh, wow. Okay." 

Neil expects Jeremy to pick a fight, but Jeremy doesn't seem interested, so he pushes a little further.

 "I know what's going on with Jean, Knox. I might have to beat you up for what you're doing."

Neil isn't sure how Jeremy responds to the threats, but he certainly doesn't expect Jeremy to give a small laugh.

 "I don't know what you think is going on, Neil, but it's great that you care about Jean. See you soon." 

Jeremy doesn't want a fight and pretends he doesn't know Neil wants to start it, so he tries to politely deflect attention. Another thing Neil can't stand about Knox. Oh, he is a well-behaved boy! He's an idiot then.

 Neil's hand shoots to the collar of the Trojans captain's shirt and he yanks it down. Jeremy stops smiling immediately and grabs Neil's wrist at high speed. He squeezes it as hard as Neil squeezes his shirt. 

The Foxes and Trojans are there in a second. Jean arrives before anyone else (probably because of his long legs) and tries to grab Neil with a furious expression, but another microsecond later, Andrew lunges for Jean and the two collide in a brutal tackle. The two grab each other furiously, as if letting go of the other would mean losing their lives.

 "Enough," Jeremy orders loudly. The smile returns, trying to convey calm. "Neil and I are just having a slight argument. Let's not go crazy. We just played a great game. We're not going to taint it with pointless arguments."

 "Neil, let him go," Kevin orders, visibly pissed off. 

"Whose side are you on, Day?" Aaron growls. That's a surprise to Neil. "Knox may be your crush, but Josten is your teammate. Do you need a fucking lesson in loyalty at this point?"

"It's not about loyalty, but about who started first, and that was Josten!" Dermott shouts very angry. "Let it go! If you want revenge we can play again in a few months, there's no need to fight. It's just a game!"

 "Jean, let him go, come on," says Álvarez, addressing Jean, who looks like a rabid wolf.

 "The Circus is in the other direction, knife-throwing dwarf," says Jean.

 "You need to learn to address your elders, Robespierre" 

Jean doesn't let go of Andrew, and Andrew doesn't let go of Jean. Neil is uncomfortable that they do that. He doesn't like either of them to go through unnecessary and violent touching. Jeremy seems worried too.

 "What can I do to make you let go of me, Neil?" 

"I want you to stop doing that with Jean."

 Jeremy frowns. For the first time, he seems genuinely upset, and also a little confused. Neil likes him a little better now.

 "That's not your decision."

 "It's not Jean's decision whether you make him addicted either." 

Now Jeremy looks totally confused. But no one deceives the king of liars! 

"Addicted?" asks Jean, who has loosened his grip on Andrew, completely perplexed. Actually, Andrew seems a bit like that too. He looks at Neil curiously.

"I know addiction when I see it, Knox. The wide-dilated pupils, the intense stares, the constant longing, the intense thirst, the weird acting, like he can't think straight when he's around you. And you're in fucking California.  somo are legal there. I see it in you too. It's clear that you are a total drug addict and you are dragging Jean, right?" 

For a moment there is silence. Andrew then lets go of Jean, who looks dazed and blushing. Jeremy is the same. His face burns.

"They want to fuck, junkie," Andrew says.

"... what?" 

The Foxes and most of the Trojans start laughing. 

"Your boyfriend has a boyfriend, Walker," Dan says, laughing. Renee smile with affection.

 "More like, Kevin's boyfriend has a boyfriend!" Nicky says. 

Kevin puts his hand to his forehead. 

"Not again..." He murmurs. 

"Finally someone says it!" One of the Trojans exclaims. 

Neil slowly lets go of Jeremy's shirt, but Jeremy doesn't stop staring at him. Neil has a hard time taking it seriously with those red ears that look like lanterns.

 "I don't like you very much either, Neil Josten," he says very indignantly. 

And thus began the real feud between Jeremy and Neil.

[wilhelminyard]

compilation of nice/sweet things the foxes said to neil because even though they're a bunch of assholes who'll insult anyone in their vicinity they all just love him so damn much (part 2) :

ANDREW :

"I'm not here for your entertainment" "but as expected you are talented enough to multitask"

"you are neil josten and I am still the man who said he would keep you alive. I don't care if you use this phone tomorrow. I don't care if you never use it again. but you are going to keep it on you because one day you might need it. on that day you're not going to run. you're going to think about what I promised you and you're going to make the call."

"I'm not afraid of you" "that's why you're so interesting"

DAN :

"don't thank us, remember us. we're your teammates. we're here to help you with whatever you need."

"you've got us now"

"that was perfect. but don't do something that reckless again. we can't replace you. hear me?"

"neil, you can use the girls' shower while we're busy"

MATT :

"just try not to think about it until we get there. you won't do yourself any favorite if you spend the ride stressing out about things you can't change."

"if you don't have anywhere to go, I'll drag you home with me"

KEVIN :

"if you get hurt out there, you do something about it. you take it easy, you have coach pull you, you ask abby for help - I don't care. if you ever say 'I'm fine' about your health again I will make you rue the day you were born"

"neil has no place in riko's games. he is a fox."

"run. it's the only way you'll survive"

"you should be court."

"will you still teach me?" "every night."

"I will watch you. if you want to drink tonight. I won't let you say something you'll regret." "you'll be drunk inside an hour. then who'll stop me?" "I would stop drinking."

"you're not going. do you know what he'll do to you?"

WYMACK :

"why did you pay for stalls coach?" "maybe I knew you'd need them one day"

"neil, if you can't be here say so. abby can take you elsewhere until it's time to leave. get out of here and get some fresh air."

"what can I do?" "I don't know" "when you know, tell me"

"sometimes the world feels so big but then I'm reminded how small it is" "big or small just remember you're not alone in it."

"if riko really was behind it somehow, the blame is all on him. he chose to take out his petty rage on seth. he chose to cross a line. you didn't. you hear me? you didn't. don't ever blame yourself for seth's death. that it too dangerous a road to walk down. you keep your eyes on your own path and keep moving forward"

"neil" "I'm fine" "be fine inside where it's warmer"

"look I know I've always told you all to take your personal problems up with betsy or abby. I've said it's not my place to get into anything outside the court. I hope you've figured out by now I'm just blowing hot air. I'm not real good at being a shoulder, but I do have a working set of ears."

"help me" "let me"

"this doesn't mean anything. I'm still a fox." "of course you are."

NICKY :

"kid you're killing me. why do you always get that deer-in-headlights look when someone does something nice for you?"

"you worry about neil's career. I'll worry about his personal happiness."

"I didn't really get into the gritty details last time because those aren't reallt dan and matt's business, but you're family, so I can tell you."

"there's obsession and there's dysfunction. you can't make exy your end-all be-all. this won't last forever, okay? you'll shine bright, then you'll retire, and then what? you gonna spend the rest of your life at home alone with all your trophies? you can't be just this, neil. this isn't enough to live for."

"thanks for taking one for the team, neil. you're a real friend."

"are we? friends?" "you are going to be the absolute death of me. yeah, kid. we're friends. you're stuck with us, like it or not."

"I only see that look on neil's face when someone tries to do something nice for him, but we all know kevin's as bratty as they come. what did you say, kevin, and do I need to defend neil's honor or what?"

RENEE :

"I am not the girl I once was but the shade of my old life will always existe inside of me. that is what helps me connect with andrew. I am hoping it will help me connect with you."

"I do not know your story. if you've trusted andrew with anything, he hasn't shared the details with me and he never will. but if you are as like us as we first predicted you to be, perhaps one day you can also come to see me as a friend."

"if either andrew or I can help you, please know we are here."

"and you neil? are you all right?"

[arimbaudspierre]

Anything You Knead - Doey x Reader (18+) HCs

Some headcanons for my on-going fic (nsfw!), or rather, just some scattered thoughts I have on how I've written some things about Doey, the Player, and other things. Blown away by all the sweet comments and kudos on it, just to say thanks again. HCs below the cut! Probably nothing NSFW but the fic itself is EXTREMELY NSFW so minors please DNI.

‣ Obviously, Doey's an adult in the fic. There's a tape that says that Matthew was at least 15 when he was under observation by Playtime, with the expectation that he was too old to be likely adopted and that they were considering hiring him when he was 18. Given that Doey was made in 1993 and the game takes place in 2005, he's at least 27, but even if Kevin and Jack are slightly younger than Matthew was, they too would be in their early 20s at the least. ‣ To the extent that that matters though, I'm not sure-- at least not for what I've written. I actually don't treat the three personalities as distinct, I have sort of taken a page from Steven Universe on this one, but I like the idea that Doey is his own wonderfully complicated person as a result of the merging, although I know that the game has fairly unsubtle imagery to suggest otherwise. It's part of why I think Doey is so much better written than almost all of the other characters in the franchise though; in their attempt to create a character that exhibits qualities of three different people, I feel like they actually just finally wrote someone who feels three-dimensional and fleshed out, because people are complicated things who are often compelled by many wants and fears within themselves, those of which may even be at odds. So, in the fic, there is no personality that 'fronts' at different times, Doey simply is himself-- for better or worse. ‣ I do think he's tried his hand at a relationship or two before (despite what he claims in Chapter 3 of the fic, slight spoiler), before the Player walks into his life, since there's obvious hints within the game that the Bigger Bodies project has been tried with more than just the orphans (the whole theory surrounding DogDay's true identity, the Prototype, etc) and there are reasonably other hot-blooded adults sharing the space with him. But, it's probably best left to hand-wavy-head-cannon territory since I don't want to spend a whole lot of time explaining that. ‣ The Player is an adorable little bombshell so Doey is quite correct when he calls them pretty. I did a quick lil' drawing of them, taking some fashion cues that I would have worn in 2005 (but much less layering. I am so glad we are over putting flared skirts over flared jeans). They are Hispanic, 28/29ish, and you know we gotta do the pale nude lipstick and sequin 'Angel' shirt. They are based on a Bratz doll, although I don't think the Player is a toy, just a cute little nod to that theory.

‣ I think the Player was an intern or a small-time assistant at Playtime, although I know there are nods within the game that suggest otherwise. There's a part where I wrote that they used to fetch coffee for Harley at some point. If that's true, I know it's possible that they know of Doey, but I really want to put some distance between the Player and Doey in the early days. Would make for some great angst, though, and probably would be better set up for romance if they'd been friends. Someone take that idea and write it for me! ‣ The Player is selectively mute. They can talk, but I think it's rare for them to speak even in their everyday life, and the trauma they've endured at Playtime is pushing that to the extreme. Doey is great at interpreting what they mean, though, and being mute doesn't stop them from talking about their feelings. ‣ The Player's candidness in inner dialogue is also inspired by how my friends and I spoke in 2005. Sick! ‣ One thing that I have loved writing is that both the Player and Doey have aspirations beyond falling in love and sharing intimate moments together. They are both there to do what they need to do, and although it's clear that something is brewing between them, that unfortunately cannot stop what's to come. ‣ I know a lot of you really want it to be a fix-it fic, but I hope that you trust that what I have for the ending must be what it is-- love is not without sacrifice, but I think the core of the issue is that in the actual game, we don't know why the sacrifice was made (narratively, because we are in the dark about the Player's motivations and Poppy's motivations, and thematically, because Doey's crash-out and our conflict with Poppy is largely due to miscommunication). This doesn't leave us feeling like the Chapter had a good conclusion, even though stories can have feel concluded without it being one where everyone we like lives and good, sensible decisions were made. I initially just wanted to write a one-off little smut story, but since I'm tackling some plot, my terms will be that I want to give the canon ending set up that makes the pay off feel earned, but bittersweet. ‣ That being said, 100% I'm rooting for him to return in the next game. :) You can count on more stories if so. That's the end! If you read all this way, thank you. Please share some HCs with me, if you have them, I love any and everything about this stupid doughman. The next chapter of the fic is almost done, and because I am a loving and fair god, it is mostly fluff, and we will get to the angst in the chapter afterwards. Don't say I don't do anything for you guys. Bonus: here's what I listened to almost on repeat while writing the next chapter. -arim

[laurents-laces]

Dumping my thoughts on the new aftg short stories here to contain all the spoilers in one place, because if I don't get to talk about them I'm gonna explode. Someone very kindly made a typed-up version of them here if anyone wants them!

TFC: David

We all know Neil is "distressingly single-minded about Exy" but I'm dying at the revelation that people in Millport knew this about him. He was supposed to be lying low 😭

Kevinnnnnnnn my boy!!!

"This is better. Easier? Better." Ouch

I had a feeling he was seeing Betsy more often than twice a year! And that we just didn't know about it because Neil didn't. That's amazing for him

Wymack is being such a great dad right now and he doesn't even know it

So excited to have one (1) canonical sentence from Kayleigh Day herself

I was headcanoning Kevin as ten when he moved in with the Moriyamas. I know nine is only a year younger but somehow it's breaking my heart a little more

Awww I always thought he looked just like his mom

I hope he looks a little like Wymack too but no one noticed before

I wonder if he ended up telling Betsy who his dad is? I don't think so but I'm sure she'd have kept the secret. Even though it would've been so hard to keep a straight face about it

"Coaches have no honor. Your word is enough. Just yours." I wanna hit every Raven coach with a very heavy stick, starting with Tetsuji. But I love how Kevin's always trusted that Wymack was different. He can be a surprisingly hopeful person sometimes. He's a little like his dad in how he sees the potential in people no one else does

Am I crazy or is Wymack talking about Andrew here?? Because it reminds me of the part in the extra content where Andrew keeps breaking into Wymack's apartment to rant about Kevin, until one day it's Neil he's more interested in

I always thought that Andrew agreeing to protect Kevin so easily might mean he was kind of into him. If canon unrequited kandrew is gonna be a thing then Andrew and Jean should form a Victims of Kevin Day's Big Green Eyes Support Group

TRK: Betsy

I'm so upset right now I don't even have words

It's so interesting to see what Andrew is like alone with Betsy. And I love that Wymack makes him feel safe

He loves his brother!!

"They cannot keep him. I will not let them." I fully believe Andrew would be down to break Aaron out of prison if he got jail time

"One week Neil had been the subject of some very grandiose conspiracy theories, and the next Andrew had only said 'He's Kevin's problem now, the end!' and refused to elaborate." That's the most Andrew response he could've had 😭

And he was so right about Neil being suspicious as hell! I need everyone to look back on the beginning of the year and realize Andrew was right about him

"Everyone knows now, Bee." My heart just broke into a million pieces

"Neil flinched. He'd pushed because he needed to see that horrible smile crack. He needed to know if Andrew was screaming behind the euphoria his drugs fed his veins. But Andrew wasn't, and Neil couldn't live with that. Andrew's medicine was too strong or his psychosis too twisted; either way, tonight didn't mean anything to him. This was a setback Andrew could sidestep and ignore." That part of TRK really stuck with me. It's a good thing he didn't actually try to act completely unbothered by everything that night but it still hurts to hear about

"I know what happened to you today was beyond cruel and that Drake's death will not undo what he did to you. I know our system has failed you every step along the way and that a part of you will carry that distrust and betrayal for many years to come, if not for the rest of your life. And I know you have done astoundingly well despite life's every attempt to crush you. I'm sorry," she said, trying and failing to catch his eye, "and I'm so, so proud of you." She just said everything I'm feeling, perfectly

Chaos and mayhem, or Blockbuster. These books are so 2006. I miss Blockbuster

TKM: Aaron

This was the first one I read and it took me ages to get through because I was laughing so hard. Aaron calling andreil's matching arm bands a promise ring broke me

He's such an asshole. I love him. He might not like it but he's a Fox through and through

"Exy this, Exy that, get a fucking hobby already. Oh, but I guess he did?" He sent a pointed look at Andrew. He's the funniest character actually

I've always wondered if he was a little jealous of a certain mouthy liar who has everyone wrapped around his little finger. Hearing that Ichirou chose Neil over his own brother must've been a wild experience

I also wondered if he actually had a passion for medicine or if he just picked the most respectable career path he could think of. It's so good to hear that it's really something he loves. He's gonna get his dream job and fix things with his brother and marry the love of his life some day, and I'm so proud of him

Neurosurgeon Aaron and paediatrician Katelyn are properly canon now! It's nice to get all these details from the extra content as part of the actual books

A few months ago, Aaron never would have imagined Andrew needed his approval. Finding out how important he was to Andrew was an ongoing, eye-opening experience. Aaron finally realizing how much Andrew has done because of him might be my favourite thing

"His father's people tore up his arms with a lighter and knives, and none of it is going to fade. He doesn't need to see those." Andrew Minyard you fake idgafer. You care so much. So much.

I wonder what would've happened with andreil if Andrew was in less denial about their relationship? I don't think he'd date someone on purpose while the no-dating deal was still in effect

"Andrew didn't want to talk about Neil with Dobson because once he broached that subject he had to either lie to all of them or admit Neil was more important than he wanted him to be." I love that Aaron understands this about Andrew

I love that the only other Aaron POV story we have also ends with him being able to tell when Andrew is lying to himself. The twinyards have their misunderstandings but at the end of the day they get each other

[damiansgoodgirll]

hii! love ur works!! saw u were asking for jey requests so here is one :)

can I request a Jey Uso x reader fic where you guys are best friends who have crushes on each other but never act on it in fear of ruining your friendship. and sami and Kevin try to always make the two of you confess but it never happens. and you get badly injured in a match on raw and have to be taken to an ambulance and jey comforts you and goes with you to the hospital and realizes he doesn't want to lose you without telling you he loves you. and after you guys cuddle on the hospital bed and he takes care of you he just blurts it out and tells you he loves you. and you tell him you love him back and its just really cute :) and when you guys come back from the hospital sami and Kevin are happy you guys finally got together and tease you both about it!

have a great day!! <3

i loved this request 🥹🫶🏻 sorry for not including kevin tho…

jey uso x reader

mention of the judgment day x reader

‼️ a little angst, mention of injury

don’t leave me

you had the biggest crush on jey us. everyone knew it. well, everyone except jey himself.

in your mind, he saw you like a best friend or a sister, not someone he would date. you saw the type of girls he would date and that didn’t include you.

but it didn’t matter to you. you loved being friend with him and the fact that now you were in the same feud against the judgment day together made the things a little more excited.

it was sami, seth, jey and cody against jd, dominik, damian and finn but who was against rhea? it was jey idea to have you on the team and everyone agreed. in sami’s mind it was easier for you to confess your feelings to jey if you were working together practically every day.

you and rhea were friends in real life and she knew about your crush, so the way she constantly teased you and jey on live tv was something that she was doing just to make you jealous and confess but it never worked.

something went wrong one night on raw. you and rhea were supposed to have a match against each other. you knew you weren’t going to win, not against her anyway but you didn’t care. that’s how things were supposed to be and everyone in your team knew it. you just needed to fight in order to creat a mess between your team and rhea’s.

it was supposed to be everyone against everyone and you already saw the boys walking towards your ring when the judgment day come out of nowhere and attacked your team. just like planned.

except, something went terrible wrong.

you were still in the ring with rhea. you were a little too distracted by the chaos that was coming out, from rhea screaming, the crowd screaming, jey screaming, everyone screaming, that you didn’t hear rhea behind you to finish the match between the two of you when she grabbed you and landed you on the ground.

you were distracted. you weren’t ready for that and so you didn’t prepare for the final move. and when it happened you couldn’t move from the ring.

it wasn’t the first time rhea and you competed against each other and everytime you used to smile at her when she won over you. this time you didn’t. that was when rhea knew something was wrong.

your back and neck were hurting, you felt blood coming over your ears and your head was ringing. your vision was blurry and you couldn’t hear what was happening in the arena in that moment.

rhea was terrified but she couldn’t show it. she couldn’t break character so she just took the win and went to damian who was against jey to let him know that something was wrong with you.

damian stopped beating jey the moment he ran on the ring.

everyone stopped.

the arena was on mute.

you were surrounded by medical stuff that were talking to you but you had no idea of what they were saying.

jey tried to talk to you but you couldn’t focus.

“hey hey y/n…” he panicked a little “can you hear me?” but of course you couldn’t answer “c’mon princess…talk to me…” he was about to cry, he didn’t want to break in front of everyone but he was terrified of the outcome.

everyone was worried about you. the judgment day were too - in the end, you were all great friends and seeing you like that made them hurt.

seth was about to cry when he saw you like that. he was the one who trained you when you first joined wwe, you were like a little sister to him.

jey was the one to bring you backstage and into the ambulance that was already waiting for you. the show had to go on but jey wasn’t going to be there.

the ambu rushed towards the hospital. you fainted in jey’s arms before he could get you on the ambulance and he never being that terrified in his whole life.

“please do something for her!” he kept shouting and the nurse had to move him away from your body so they could work on you.

once inside the hospital, it took a whole stuff to keep jey away from the room you’ve been taken to.

“i need to see her! you-you don’t understand…i need to see her, i need to be with her…” he almost cried. he couldn’t handle being away from you, he couldn’t handle you being hurt and in pain.

the doctors explained him that they needed to run a few more tests before they could let him see you. but it took them almost five hours for all those tests and he swore he was going crazy not knowing what was wrong with you.

seth texted him. cody texted him. basically everyone texted him and he had no idea what to say to them.

“you can see her now, she’s, well…she’s not awake yet” the doctor told jey.

“but she will wake up right?” jey almost panicked

“she hit her head very bad while in the ring…we will keep you updated” was all the doctor said before leaving jey alone.

he was terrified.

he needed you to wake up as soon as possible.

he slowly got into your room and he couldn’t handle it anymore. he started crying. he didn’t care if the doctors saw him like that. all he wanted was to hold you into his arms.

he sat next to you and got your small and fragile hand into his bigger one.

“hey beautiful…” he whispered “i know you can’t hear me right now but i need you to wake up, please, for me…i can’t live without you, i may be a little selfish but i need you in my life and i’m so fucking stupid for not telling you how much i love you…” he confessed “i wish i told you sooner…but i was scared of ruining our friendship and i can’t handle not having you in my life. y/n, you gotta wake up…please” he kept begging and he didn’t realise he fell asleep right in the chair next to you.

he was too tired to go back home and in all honesty he didn’t want to leave you.

“jey…” your raspy voice woke him up. he swore he was dreaming but he immediately sat straight when he felt your cold hand on his arm.

“oh my - hey beautiful…” he whispered “you’re awake…let me call a doctor” and with that he was out of the room.

the doctors visited you.

a few broken ribs, a dislocated shoulder and a concussion. it could have been worse.

it wasn’t a secret that you needed to rest and that you would be away from the ring for a few months.

“you scared the shit out of me y/n…” jey said “you scared everyone in the arena…hunter is still waiting news about you…”

“i’m sorry…i guess” you didn’t know what to say. you knew your job was a dangerous job and injuries were normal.

“it’s not your fault, what matters now is that you’re awake and okay, partially okay” he joked making you laugh.

“i heard you jey…”

“what?”

“what you said…do you really love me?” you asked him.

“fuck…i mean, i do but i don’t want to fuck up our friendship so if you don’t feel the same it’s okay i promise” he started mumbling when you stopped him.

“i love you too” you confessed.

“what?” he was speechless for the second time in just a few minutes.

“you heard that” you smiled.

he felt like he was dreaming “say it again please”

“i love you jey uso” you smiled.

“this is the worst and best day of my life y/n” he said making you laugh.

“you should tell the boys that i’m awake…half broken but awake” you said and jey agreed.

once the news of you being okay came out, everyone was a little calmer.

“you need to rest for a few months and honestly i can’t wait to take care of you baby” jey teased you making you blush.

that night he stayed in the hospital bed with you, afraid that you would sleep and never wake up again. he needed to have you close, he needed to know that you were safe but you knew that his arms were the safest place on earth.

[yeoosaangg]

៹ HALF OF MY HEART || KINKTOBER ─ Day 24

➛ PAIRING:: JEONG JAEHYUN × FEM!READER

➛ NOW PLAYING:: HALF OF MY HEART — JOSH MAKAZO

⤷ ❝KNOW YOU STILL HAVE THINGS TO SAY. IT'S DIFFERENT SINCE I BROKE US APART.❞

➛ GENRE:: COLLEGE!AU, EXES TO LOVERS, SMUT

➛ WARNINGS:: PERIOD SEX, CAR SEX, FINGERING, JOCK!JAEHYUN, MARKING, PRAISE, MENTIONS OF BLOOD (OBVIOUSLY)

── ⋆ ⋆ ── 𔘓 ── ⋆ ⋆ ──

You go to the skate park late at night to think.

It helps when you've got a lot on your mind and need to unwind, but you couldn't do that tonight.

A bunch of frat boys came together to throw a party, one you were invited to. It may not be your usual night out, but at least it was different.

Now alcohol can be your escape from a broken heart.

Kevin: Hey, you made it!

Y/n: I'm usually here skating on a regular night.

Kevin: Saved you a seat, right here

You roll your eyes as he pats his lap. You look around and see that there truly was no more space to sit and just take his offer.

Y/n: So, did I miss anything?

Kevin: Nah. Just a few guys on the football team having a chugging contest.

Y/n: Mmm, boring.

Kevin: It was.

You scan the park just to have something to do, but it proves to be a mistake when you spot your ex-boyfriend making out with one of the cheerleaders.

That hurts.

Kevin: Where'd your mind go just now?

Y/n: Saw Jaehyun playing tonsil hockey with captain preppy.

Kevin: Brutal. Need me to kick his ass?

Y/n: Nah. He'd squash you like a bug and I happen to love my best friend.

Kevin: I hate when you're right.

You guys laugh and you get up to grab a closed bottle of beer. When you come back, Kevin notices your ex staring at you two.

Kevin: He's looking.

Y/n: Don't care.

Kevin: He looks like he wants to kill me.

You roll your eyes and position yourself so you're straddling Kevin. He doesn't react, just holds your exposed hips so you don't fall back.

Y/n: You think from this angle it'll look like we're kissing?

Kevin: Yeah, why?

You put your thumb on his lips before kissing your nail, pressing your forehead against his. Kevin wraps his arm around you to make it look like he's pulling you in deeper.

You pull away and smile at him, a silent thank you for going along with your plan.

Kevin: He's coming over here.

Y/n: Don't lie to me, Moon.

So much for not caring.

Kevin: Just turn around.

You do and feel your heart drop as he strides over to you.

Y/n: Shit, gotta go.

Kevin: Have fun, bestie! Use protection!

You flip him off and hurriedly make your way towards the parking lot. Maybe you'll get home quicker if you run.

Jaehyun: Y/n! Wait up!

Why does he sound like he's right behind you?

You make a noise of surprise when he grabs your arm and turns you to face him.

Y/n: Oh, hey.

Jaehyun: Hey. Did you not hear me?

Y/n: Nope, sorry.

Lie.

Jaehyun: Can we talk?

Y/n: I don't think that's a good idea.

Jaehyun: Please? I swear I'll leave you alone after, if that's what you want.

You sigh.

He was using those stupid eyes of his. The ones where they get all soft and kind.

He still knows how to make you weak.

Y/n: Fine.

He smiles and guides you to his car with a hand on the small of your back. You feel his warm fingers curl around your waist, almost like he's afraid you'll run.

You curse yourself for wearing a crop top.

He opens the passenger door and you reluctantly get in.

There was an awkward silence when he gets in, locking the car doors. It was only for privacy reasons.

Jaehyun: I hate how we left things.

Y/n: How you left things.

He takes a deep breath and nods.

Jaehyun: I never wanted to hurt you.

Y/n: But you did.

He broke things off two months ago because he "needed to be with someone that matches his popularity", hence the bimbo he was making out with.

Jaehyun: It's just- I got lost in the glory of being the quarterback, that I became a different person. I let go of the one person who means the most to me because of it.

Stupid excuse.

Y/n: I get it, Jae. I'm not popular enough for you. I'm not drop-dead gorgeous enough for your new friends. But you didn't have to insult me when you broke things off. That was just cruel on your part.

He understands that.

He messed up so bad and it cost him the love of his life.

Jaehyun: You're the most beautiful woman I've ever met. That is a fact no one will ever get to prove wrong. My heart will always belong to you.

Oh.

He still has feelings for you?

Jaehyun: If you can give me another chance, I swear I'll do right by you.

Y/n: Don't you have a girlfriend?

Jaehyun: No.

Y/n: Then why were you making out with the head cheerleader? Thought she was your arm candy.

Jaehyun: I never made it official with her. Just let her kiss me in public, but nothing other than that.

Hm.

Jaehyun: What about you? Are you and Kevin Moon dating?

Y/n: Nah, I was just feeling petty. Kiss was fake; he'd launch me off of him if it was real.

Jaehyun: Now that sounds like him.

You both laugh, comfortable silence surrounding the once tense atmosphere.

It feels warm and familiar.

Jaehyun: Can I- Can I kiss you?

You nod, leaning in to meet his lips halfway.

You climb over and straddle his lap while he puts his seat all the way back. His hands roam your entire body, tongue exploring your mouth all over again.

You feel him getting ready to slide his hand into the waistband of your panties when you stop him.

Jaehyun: What's wrong?

Y/n: Nothing, I just remembered something.

Jaehyun: What is it?

You feel embarrassed to say this out loud. You're hot and bothered, but can't do anything about it because-

Y/n: I'm on my period.

He begins to laugh and kiss the skin underneath your jaw.

Y/n: It's not funny!

Jaehyun: It's kinda funny, baby.

You whine, hiding your face in his chest.

He wraps his arms around you and kisses the crown of your head.

Jaehyun: It's funny because you think a little blood's gonna stop me from fucking you.

Huh?!?

You yelp when his hand slips inside your panties and his middle finger circles your clit. You moan very loudly from not having been touched since he left you.

Jaehyun: Careful, baby. Wouldn't want anyone to hear your pretty sounds.

Y/n: Don't give a fuck.

You kiss him as his fingers get covered in a mix of your arousal and blood. Your pad gets scrunched the more his knuckles disappear in your cunt.

You sit up and take your top off, revealing you perky tits.

Jaehyun: No bra? What if you accidentally flashed everyone at the party?

Y/n: It is what it is.

He chuckles, helping you steady yourself as you get completely naked.

He lowers his jeans down enough so his cock springs free. He was hard and leaking, just how you like him.

You align yourself with his tip and slam down on his cock. He moans as you bounce without adjusting.

You were too horny and impatient to give a fuck about anything right now.

Y/n: Hated seeing you with that stupid, blonde airhead. Wanted to beat her ass everytime she passed me on campus.

Jaehyun: Aww, you didn't like how close she was to me? Then fucking mark me so she knows who I belong to.

You don't even have to be told twice. Your mouth litters multiple red hickeys all over his neck and chest.

God, he bruises so easily, it makes you needier.

You look so ruined already, but he wants to break you. Have you reduced to a drooling and whimpering mutt for him like he always does.

But not tonight.

Tonight is about getting you back and doing everything he can to show you he means what he says. He's going to love you despite what others say.

You're worth it.

He gasps when your teeth scratch against his jugular, lightly sucking on the skin there.

Y/n: I'm gonna cum.

He watches you bounce on his cock, tits matching the rhythm as you squirt all over him - you probably got blood all over him, too.

You get tired, so he slams his hips into you as the top of your ass hits the bottom of the steering wheel. Lucky it wasn't the horn, right?

Y/n: Want more. Please give me more.

Jaehyun: Such a good girl. Always taking what I give you and begging for more, not satisfied until everyone at this fucking party can see how thoroughly mine you are.

You scream as the tip of his cock hits your g-spot. It was a delicious repetitive motion that has you shaking in your ex-boyfriend's arms.

You press your chest against his, mouth attacking his neck as you meet his thrusts.

He tries to pull you off his neck by your hair, but you growl at him - mouth leaving him for only a moment to push his hand off before devouring him again.

His hands leaves bruises on your hips at how hot that was of you. Being on your period makes you even hornier than a bitch in heat.

Jaehyun: You’re my little whore, aren’t you?

You growl again, biting on his shoulder before nodding to his question.

Y/n: Only yours.

He picks up his pace, causing you to grip onto the handle above your head to steady yourself. His cock rams into you so rough, you're drooling and whimpering - just like he wanted.

Oops!

Both of you cum at the same time, not caring who hears you anymore. You just care about each other.

You bury your face in his neck trying to catch your breath. He leans back and massages your body to help soothe the shaking.

Y/n: I've missed you a lot.

He smiles, kissing your temple.

Jaehyun: Please give me another chance, Y/n. I can give you everything you need and want. Just give me one month and I swear I'll embed myself so far in you, you won't be able to breathe without me.

You giggle, resting your chin on his chest.

Y/n: Okay. But only one chance. If you blow it, you'll never see me again.

Jaehyun: Thank you, baby. I promise I'll treat you right.

He shifts a little and you whine. His cock was still inside you.

Y/n: Can we leave to get cleaned up? Cum mixed with blood isn't a pretty sight.

He laughs with his entire chest, kissing your lips with a huge grin.

Jaehyun: 'Course we can.

═══

a/n: get me away from pinterest prompts. this ain't good for my sanity. thanks for reading ‹𝟹

[sunriseabram]

Yes. Riko was an abuser. Nobody can deny that he hurt, sexually abused and tormented people physically and emotionally.

Yes. Riko was abused. He was hit by Tetsuji when he got things wrong, conditioned to believe that he had to be the best or his life wasn't worth living. He was abandoned by his father because he was second born, ignored by his big brother, and not even congratulated after he tried everything to gain their approval.

Yes. He hurt Jean out of anger. He used Jean as an object because that is all he had ever been to his father and family. He was a way to make money, but his father never saw him as anything more than that. It allowed him to feel powerful and in control of someone when everything else in his life was out of his control.

Yes. He flips after his father dies. Of course, he does. When you've worked your entire life to be acknowledged, spending thousands upon thousands of hours training to win, winning trophies, doing sponsorships, raising great chunks of money for the family, only for your father to die before even showing an ounce of pride for you? Of course, he flips. Jean just happens to be there, someone he knows he can hurt and get away with. Someone less than him at the bottom of the food chain. Perhaps the only person who sees the anger for what it truly is: failure. And Riko doesn't like that.

Yes. He hurt Kevin out of jealousy. Riko grew up in a world where failure was unacceptable. Failure meant pain, death and suffering. Exy was all Riko had and all he ever had. He couldn't stand to be second best because second best is all he had ever been. He would not be second in the one thing he was meant to be the king of. He hurt Kevin out of jealousy, and was beaten to an inch of his life for it.

Yes. He grew up sheltered. Riko was groomed to be a star by Tetsuji. He was groomed and exploited for money by the only person who had ever looked at him and seen something. He lost his mother. His father didn't care about him. He had nobody. He lived underground in the nest for most of his life and played exy every single day for most of his childhood. He probably had no friends his own age until Kevin came along. There was nobody who understood what Riko was going through.

Yes. Riko hurt Andrew. He had Andrew hurt as another power trip. It was to show he had great power and could do what he wanted with it. He had no boundaries. Throughout the series, Riko is shown to be insecure. He craves power and acknowledgement and wants to prove he has a place in the mafia family next to his brother.

Yes. Riko is more complex than a simple villain. He is self-destructive and works to the bone to try and be worth something. He uses anger to cover up his blatant abandonment issues. He is never and will never be enough. And if he can't be enough, then nobody else can. Nobody can take his place.

He is scared of Kevin, frightened of Neil, terrified of Andrew. He is constantly trying to stop his precarious tower from tumbling in the only way he knows how.

If all his mistakes were punished with pain, disappointment and anger, how can he know any different? He doesn't know the world really and hasn't experienced it outside his little box of stardom. He doesn't know what is 'normal.' For him, failing means getting beaten. Failure means losing his status. Failing means falling from power. It always has.

No. Just because Riko was abused and groomed does not mean that his abusive behaviours were justified. He chose to become an abuser, despite everything he had suffered.

No. He wasn't born evil. He is horrible - don't get me wrong - but he shouldn't just be cast off as coming out of the womb with horns and a tail. He was shaped by his experiences, negative and positive. We all are.

Riko thought beating people into submission would show his power and prove his worth to his family. In the end, it resulted in his downfall.

[wyverningx]

people on The Internet Dot Com keep being absolute idiots about thea muldani so here is your reminder that she's a ravens success story — she grew up in an environment where she was asked to give her all and engage in incredibly unhealthy practices, but the result of such sacrifice was that she was rewarded for it with US court and a pro team. she was part of a cult and "left" in the sense of gaining physical distance, but all of her experiences reaffirmed that the toxic ravens environment was the most effective way to a successful exy career. it is fucked up that she believes others should go through the same thing in order to be "worthy" or "good enough," but i simply do not understand why so many people look at her and think that she should be crucified for being a representation of a finished, successful raven. especially not if she's unable to recognize abuse in others, which tbqh is something that is very common in cult-like settings. you don't want to look something-that-could-very-well-be-abuse-happening-to-others in the eye, because if they're being abused, then you could potentially be being abused, too, and what do you do with that? do you have any idea how hard it is to come to terms with that reality, especially when you are told day in and day out that this is the only way to get to the top? that this is how you make it in the sport? that someone who is being harmed by the coach or the team captain absolutely deserved it? that people who can't hack it are weak, but you're not weak, you're one of the best, you'll do whatever it takes?

is it extremely shitty that she blames jean for his own sexual assault? absolutely, yes. but she doesn't have the whole picture, and it's clear that jean intentionally deceives her (with the comment about him being fragile/clumsy, etc.) and lets her believe he had more agency in his sexual experiences than he truly did because it's a coping mechanism that also serves the purpose of letting her fill in blanks so he does not have to explicitly tell a lie. besides, if there is any singular raven that both kevin and jean view fondly, wouldn't they want her to believe whatever it took so that she didn't ask too many questions? wouldn't they both want her far removed from the reality of the moriyamas and human trafficking, because her uncovering the truth would put her entire life at risk?

people can have friends that are imperfect or do not understand them completely or that fuck things up sometimes. i get that jean's experiences put people on-guard when it comes to how he interacts with other characters, but god damn. she was his mentor. she taught him everything he knows about being a backliner. she made horrible and judgmental assumptions about his experiences. all of those things can be true at the same time. does she not deserve the opportunity to change upon receiving new information? does she not deserve the ability to take a step back, as ravens are dropping like flies and all eyes are on evermore and the perfect court, to consider that maybe she was a victim in all of this, too? that plenty of people are capable of making it to the top without calling another human being the master and turning a blind eye to the king beating his own men? that maybe kevin and jean and all of them were terribly wronged? why is she the only person in this series who's not allowed to grow as a person by developing a more nuanced understanding of rape and sexual assault and learning how to be a better friend to someone who had no choice?

also someone tried to "gotcha" me by saying thea and jean aren't friends because she uhhhh (checks notes) calls him a teasing nickname and says "i'm going to break your ribs" as though threatening your friends (especially ones you play a contact, violent sport with) is the worst possible offense ever in the same book series that people regularly ACTUALLY fistfight each other and pull knives on one another. i'd argue that these are actually huge indicators that they do like each other, because she's probably one of the only people in the world who he can express himself around and even say things like "i'm not from paris" exasperatedly. you know, like you do when people you care about tease or poke fun at you. those are actually probably some of the most normal interactions jean has pre-TSC, especially as she is not needlessly cruel to him like literally everyone else in the nest is. and not only is thea one of the only people who has any sort of comraderie with him and who makes the effort to see him after his injuries because she cares, but she also makes it past wymack and kevin and renee and neil guard-dogging him. does that seriously mean nothing? do you think renee fucking walker (who was ready to brawl on-sight at evermore) would have let someone like zane waltz into abby's house if kevin said a single negative word about him?

i have seen some incredibly wonderful and nuanced takes about most characters in AFTG, but at the same time, the way thea is treated and criticized in a more severe way than literal murderers in the series for her possibly-willful ignorance is utterly crazy to me.

idk. just some food for thought