#the one people like to forget that caleb mentioned (earlier than the line about caleb being 'nott's boy' in episode 13)

[fawnatrix]

Watched the little IGN announcement teaser for the new Mighty Nein animated series. It was really good and I’m really excited for it, but if I had to nitpick it a little bit, it does kind of irk me that every character got to have a line that encapsulates their character (Yasha’s “and I don’t believe in luck” line, Fjord’s “you need me more than I need you” line), except for Nott, who’s line is about her relationship to the man in her life.

Idk maybe I’m just jaded from seeing Nott/Veth be reduced to Caleb’s emotional support mother figure so many times, and I know that her relationship with Caleb is important to her character... I just still think it’s a bit disappointing.

“Case closed” (episode 29), “A sign that there could be, for all of us, another chapter” (episode 36), “No, there’s no comma, I’m just Nott the Brave.” (episode 4), “And they made me everything that I thought I was: not pretty, not good, just not(t)” (episode 49), “Chemistry’s good, baby, but killing is better!” (episode 57), “Molly said not to steal from happy people” (episode 27), “But the reason I want to find these people and rescue them is not to use them, and it’s not because we’ve invested time into them, it’s because I love them” (also episode 27), “Every one of us has left without saying goodbye to someone in our lives” (episode 107)

Some of those are a bit too spoilery to use, but you get my idea. I just think there are a lot of better quotes they could’ve used that would’ve encapsulated Veth/Nott’s character better.

[maskeddevera]

I’m going to write a line by line analysis about the Fjord and Jester scene from last night. I had a bad day earlier this week, and the whole episode yesterday made me so happy, and this scene was beautiful, so I’m going to gush about it a bit. This whole episode really turned my week around (with the caveat that I went to bed so missed the final monster introduction.)

First of all, to set the scene, Jester has been struggling (but playing it off) ever since the spell stole a few years of her life earlier in the day. Fjord has been struggling because he realizes he didn’t even try to do anything to protect her, and the spell took a lot, and it could have been so much worse. He goes to her door, I think, mostly to confess that he feels badly that he wasn’t there for her and also vaguely aware that he might share his fear that they might not get that chance to deal with his baggage.

[Fjord knocks on her door.]

JESTER: Hello?

Jester is surprised. They often have heartfelt conversations, but Fjord doesn’t usually visit her room.

FJORD: Um, I was really worried about you...when you fell.

He just comes out with it...here’s the main thing, it was scary to see her fall.

JESTER:  Yeah...

It was also scary for her, too.

[heavy eye contact]

FJORD:  This suddenly feels far more serious than I thought it might be.

I’m not sure if here he is talking here about visiting the north or initiating this conversation -- but either way, he laughs. He’s nervous.

JESTER:  I know. I can’t get the image out of my head...it’s scary.

Fjord gives Jester space to share. Like he said he would, he will listen to her. By initiating this conversation, she feels safe telling him that the image of the city that is haunting her.

FJORD:  What do you think will happen?

An open-ended question for Jester. Again, letting her share her thoughts and fears...wanting to know what she thinks.

JESTER:  I think if they bring it back, it will, um...it will absorb everything it can.

She sees the possibilities and how dangerous it could become.

JESTER [continued]: It felt like all of the people that lived there, like -- like they were part of the city now, like they could never escape. It felt like hell. It felt -- like torment.

She feels this so hard. It’s eating her up inside.

FJORD: And we have to stop it, right?

Fjord acknowledges that with that information they need to stop it--as a team, but you can see that he is still struggling with his concern for her.

JESTER:  Yeah.

FJORD: I -- I may have an, uh, a problem. Uh...

The problem is he loves Jester and is worried that he would lose her. The problem is he feels like he wasn’t there for her. The problem is he is so scared.

JESTER [softly]: What is it?

Suddenly Jester is focusing on him, worried about what Fjord’s problem might be.

FJORD [continued]: I saw you standing on that pillar, and -- it was the first time where I kept myself from trying to stop something that was happening to you, and I didn’t do anything, and it’s--it’s bothered me.

Fjord feels like he screwed up and let her down. He feels like he could have lost her because he hesitated. Like he could still lose her if he hesitates.

JESTER: You couldn’t have done anything, Fjord. It was in my head, you know?

Jester isn’t sure why he’s beating himself up about this one - he didn’t even know what was happening.

FJORD: Uh. Yes.

I just like how he whispers the “yes,” like he knows it isn’t rational, but he still feels it.

FJORD: I don’t want you to gamble with yourself. I--I know we were playing, and it didn’t seem like much, and--it seems to have exacted a pretty serious toll. All I’m saying is, I just--I want you to be careful as we do this--I don’t think we’ll be the spectators that we thought we might be.

Here it is. Why he truly came time. He doesn’t want her to endanger herself. It’s a constant of not wanting her to be hurt or worse. He is starting to realize that they are involved deeper than they thought that they would be.

JESTER: Okay.

She listens.

FJORD: I want to come out of this and be able to go back to the sea, and go back to Nicodranus, and go back to where it’s warm and not f*ckin’ freezing, and...

Here the dream is stated. The happy ending. The sea, Nicodranus...her home, he’s imagining them returning together. A happy ending for both of them.

JESTER: Me too.

She is nodding. Same page. They have talked about this before, being together in a calmer time and place...some day. He is encouraged by her agreement.

FJORD: I just don’t know if that’s--I don’t feel as optimistic now.

More fears laid on the table. Maybe they won’t get there.

JESTER: Me neither. But...I’ll try to be safe. And you should, too.

She worries about losing the happy ending as well. She worries about his safety as well. He smiles when she shows concern for him.

JESTER [continued]: But if it comes down to it, if -- if it means stopping that Thing...I want to stop That Thing.

This decision is so important for Jester, and I love this for her ongoing arc. I also just really like that both clerics have this quest now. #TeamClerics

FJORD: I told your mother I would look after you.

So what I love about this sentence is Fjord absolutely takes his promise to Marion Lavorre very seriously, but that’s not why he says this to Jester. Yes, I do think he sees it as a vow (I love all the meta takes I have seen floating around about this being one of Fjord’s first steps into paladin territory), but what he is really doing here is the Fjord thing in which he uses others as a proxy for his feelings. So when Jester says she might endanger herself for the greater good, and he implies that her mother would be devastated if he had to tell her that something had happened to Jester, mostly he is thinking about how he would be devastated if anything happened to Jester.

JESTER: We’ll be fine, Fjord. We always are.

Jester attempts to reassure him and re-establish how they are a team. You can tell he isn’t fully reassured. And then he says what he really meant when he said “I told your mother I would look after you...”

FJORD: I care very much for you.

His voice in this moment...so real. Notice he still doesn’t use the word love, a token bit of holding back, but love is what is coming from him, and she hears it.

JESTER:  Really?

Her trembling voice...all of the signs, and she thought maybe especially with recent events, but she wasn’t sure if she was reading into the gift and the eye contact and the pauses...she is so hopeful here. He nods, and takes a deep breath, and he just wants so badly to take the next step, but he is scared.

JESTER: Is it because I have chiseled cheekbones now?

She says this to break the moment because she feels his hesitation, and also because she’s self-conscious about what happened today. And it’s the best thing that can happen because when they are silly Fjord forgets to be all in his head and nervous.

FJORD: It’s the longer horns...

He’s joking, but also he always seems to find her strength to be the most attractive physical characteristic about her, so of course he picks the horns to compliment.

JESTER: Yeah, it really does it, doesn’t it?

FJORD: Yeah...gives you an intimidating look.

The truth is he was intimidated before the horns got longer. He wants to kiss her so much, so he pulls her in and asks...

FJORD [continued]:  Can I kiss you?

Jester is delighted. She thought even if she wasn’t imagining things that this wouldn’t come any time soon. She shyly nods her agreement, and they kiss. I like how he nods and smiles, too, before kissing her -- he’s so relieved that she said yes!

FJORD: I don’t-- I don’t know how this will go. But I can’t promise that I’m going to let you just throw yourself at this thing. I don’t think I can do that.

This confession--he has made it to her before in a different way. Fjord will support her up to the point in which she could get hurt or die, and no more. And I also like how he always frames this confession as somewhat selfish, although it isn’t, because part of the reasoning is that he needs her. Also I think he is holding her this whole time because he never says that he lets her go.

JESTER:  I don’t have an argument.

She is fine with him serving as her protector. She’s giddy. Maybe they kiss here quickly again? In any case...

JESTER: Kissing is a lot more fun when you’re not dying.

FJORD: Or, and, not when you’re underwater, drowning.

JESTER: Yeah, yeah...that’s what I mean.

FJORD: Umhmm.

After their first real kiss, they talk about their “other” first kiss - Fjord attempting to save her life. And we see here that while Jester previously wondered if it “counted” or not, it meant something to Fjord too and that he also saw it as a kiss, although it wasn’t the most ideal circumstance. And perhaps that is why they never spoke about it before, because it was easier to leave it in that nebulous area of maybe it meant something more.

JESTER: I don’t know what to do with myself anymore.

While this statement works for Jester, giddy and flustered, I think it also works for Laura who 100% was not expecting any of this to happen in this session.

FJORD: I’ve wanted to do it for a while...I’m kind of a big coward.

And now that it’s out there, now that she let him kiss him, he feels like he can tell her about how his fears held him back.

JESTER:  No, Fjord, you’re very brave.

Jester will always support Fjord and hype him up.

FJORD: I am very brave, aren’t I?

Being brave is facing your fears.

JESTER: Umhm.

FJORD:  I feel a bit...better.

This is what love is. Things can still be dark but your loved one lifts you up. He looks at her to gauge how she feels.

JESTER:  Me too.

[FJORD & JESTER overlapping voices as they teasingly discuss whether they really have to fight this city.]

FJORD:  We can get cats and just flee...

As mentioned in my other post, I think Fjord is discussing acquiring moorbounders, not attempting to abscond with Caleb’s fey cats. Again, this dream is the one about them leaving it all behind together.

JESTER:  We have to fight it.

FJORD: All right. I’ll see you in the morning.

JESTER: Okay.

FJORD:  Goodnight.

JESTER: Goodnight, Fjord.

[Jester goes to hold her little unicorn, falling asleep holding it. Fjord doesn’t sleep much.]

I just love this final image -- Jester now certain that the unicorn figurine means what she hoped it meant (and hopefully not breaking it in the night). Fjord keyed up and turned on and thinking about the conversation over and over, because he surprised himself with his choices but it went well, better than he ever expected.

[mischas]

what do you think are some of the most underrated ryan and marissa moments? i think there are a lot of little things people forget from season 3, cos it's so bad as a whole

Ahh, okay, I’ll get emo over this for u

1x06 when Caleb’s girlfriend tells Ryan "I’d give anything to be that miserable. [...] That’s what it feels like to be in love”

1x07 Maybe this isn’t underrated but “Did you ever wonder why I came to the poolhouse to find you?” “Every day”

Their interactions in 1x12. They’re very sweet and very ‘together’ amid Luke’s heavy storyline. Even with their fight, and Ryan accusing Marissa of breaking his trust (oof), they’re in a nice place. I love the two seconds we see of Marissa’s habit of driving both Ryan and Seth to school. Love that they did that for months.

1x22 “You can be the beauty” I DIE

2x04 Seth says, right in front of them I may add, “Ryan and Marissa, that’s an epic tale right there”

2x05 “The penguin likes Marissa”

2x06 Two moments that are blink and you miss it. First in the poolhouse Marissa knows Ryan is sitting far away from her on purpose so she says something like “hey, I don’t bite” and the fact that he purposefully added distance between them always said something to me. The other moment is at the end of the ep in the left hand corner I believe. When Marissa is holding a tray of eggnog, Ryan puts a yamaclaus on her head. Maybe it was just Ben and Mischa fooling around but it’s super cute.

2x07 When he puts his arm around her in the Cohen kitchen. They already had bagels, but she brought some over as a peace offering for her behavior the night before. How Seth and Ryan both say their old ones were stale and Ryan says, “Almost chipped a tooth” it’s SO charming and sweet and the more I think about it, that’s one of my absolute favorite scenes of the show.

2x17 “I thought ugly hats were your thing”

2x21 they actually do have a phone call during this ep where he says he wishes he was home and she says the same and the way they can never fully say what they mean is VERY them lol

2x23 When he asks her to prom

3x01 Sandy says “You have a hell of a girlfriend. And if you two get married, you’ll have one hell of a mother-in-law.” I get chills from this line. This is what I DESERVED.

3x02 This is also probably not underrated but their scene on the ferris wheel. Love my reminiscent babes. “We’ve just got to find our moments” OH and earlier in that ep when Ryan apologizes to her at the lifeguard stand and plays with her fingers. It’s one of the few times in s3 I feel like we see them being fluid with one another. The way they talk with their hands held, talking about getting through this year together. Damn, that closeness was right there, and then it’s just thrown away. Another addition in this ep is when Sandy and Julie meet with the dean and Sandy remarks, “One Montague, one Capulet” referencing RM being Romeo and Juliet. A small moment but cute.

3x04 Before Forever Young, Marissa talks about the dance “I spent the whole time wishing you were there”

3x05 Marissa comparing Ryan leaving to Jimmy leaving and calling him a coward, and also when Ryan shows up to have lunch with Marissa at Newport Union. It’s very couple-y.

3x06 Summer says Marissa is busy and Ryan says “Is she studying? Because I’ve been known to get her to blow off some schoolwork”

3x07 Not sure these are underrated but the hug on the beach is perfect and their scene at the end in front of the fire is really nice too. There’s also a moment at the Bait Shop with Johnny when Marissa is saying something and she slaps Ryan’s arm (really lightly) to get him to say something too. It’s really subtle but cute.

3x08 When Ryan surprises Marissa at NU and they kiss. Also the end scene where they’ve basically made plans to go to Berkeley together talking to SS “We’ll be in Northern California, you’ll be in Rhode Island”

3x09 “You got a lap dance?” is really cute and I LOVE the talk they have at the end where Marissa is on the bed in the poolhouse and Ryan is in her room. You’d think the Johnny story would’ve been kaput at this point but no

3x11 When Marissa says she hasn’t seen Johnny in weeks and says she, Ryan, Seth, and Summer spent like a whole month hanging out, and later Summer tells Ryan about Marissa’s weird penchant for befriending strange dudes “It’s the way she’s wired. You��wouldn't love her if she wasn’t” which says a LOT

3x12 In Marissa’s closet “I do have a great boyfriend” “You have a great boyfriend”

3x13 Kaitlin prods Ryan about Marissa and picks up a framed photo of them at the beach from 3x01. What was this doing in his room. On his bedside table. Did Marissa give it to him? Did he frame it???? Alright also when Kaitlin prods Marissa about Ryan she says “Yeah, you guys are soulmates, blah, blah, blah” as if she’s heard those words from her sister’s mouth a million times before

3x14 When they’re making out in the poolhouse and Marissa answers Kaitlin’s call “I’m busy” and Ryan says “Gettin’ busy” into her neck it’s very practiced and fluid in a way we never got to see them that season and I will rage forever. Also Kaitlin’s metaphor about Baskin Robbins ice cream basically saying Marissa was afraid of her love for Ryan and found other avenues to run away from the one thing she loved most. Very intense and never brought up again, so yeah.

3x17 I love the angst of this episode. They finally feel like teenagers again, awkwardly avoiding each other in the halls at school. The model home stuff is not underrated, but I love the angst of the moment Marissa turns away at the end of the episode, fully convinced she shouldn’t be in Ryan’s life. It’s sad and parallels to 1x02 so much. I love that she made him a copy of The Model Home Mix. I love the details they added that Ryan had always wanted another copy. Summer mentioning the romantic feel of the gesture. I love that Ryan was able to sit in her trailer and listen to it without her knowing. That tether of theirs still holding them together somehow. He’ll never tell her he listened to it and she’ll never tell him she made it. My babes.

3x18 This scene is more annoying than anything because of what we didn’t get to see or be aware of. When Marissa and Summer are at the Bait Shop talking about sex and Marissa basically says she and Ryan never had a problem with it, and that they were pretty heavily involved even during the Johnny era. What the hell, right

3x19 Ryan very clearly waiting for Marissa at her lifeguard stand

3x22 Every single scene of theirs is great but things I loved were Marissa asking about Ryan’s architecture lecture (ugh), their banter and awkwardness, and of course Marissa telling Ryan that she could see his happiness at Berkeley “I could see it on your face” and knowing he belonged there. 

3x23 When he puts his arm around her at prom

3x24 “Can I buy you breakfast?” and their SMILES. The growth, the maturity, the clean slate. God, I love this scene SO much.

I’m gonna stop now because it’s 1:30am and I typed this gibberish 95% from memory in one sitting which means I know way too much about this show and this couple. Also you were probably expecting like 5 moments not 29 sorry!!

[writeawayharry]

Waiting on You (Daddy Harry, Part #3)

Click for Part 1 and Part 2. x

It was almost comical the way your dingy yellow uniform looked in the luxurious glow of Harry’s bedroom. Hair pulled back in a messy ponytail, white apron tied around your hips; this was the reflection that was staring back at you in the antique wooden mirror. Nervously, you smoothed the fabric over your body. You startled slightly when you heard someone clear his throat.

“You look beautiful,” Harry said, watching you from the doorframe.

You ducked your head and blushed slightly. It was still odd hearing compliments like that from him, even though you and Caleb had been staying with Harry for the past few weeks. Your apartment building had experienced a flood, and although it was still technically livable, it wasn’t exactly safe or inviting. You accepted Harry’s immediate offer for Caleb’s sake, but you hoped your son wouldn’t pick up on the large difference between what his father could give him, and what you could.

“How are you feeling?” he asked you, stepping into the room.

You shrugged. How were you feeling? Many things, of course. You knew your job waitressing would come to an end eventually, you just didn’t think you’d be saying goodbye so soon. It would be hard; you were leaving your friends, your income, and your independence.

“That place, those people, they were there for me when I needed them.”

Harry looked at you softly. There was no chance in hell he was happy with the fact that a damn diner was there for you when he wasn’t. But he also knew you, and knew what it meant to have your own job.

“I better say goodbye to Caleb,” you told him, stepping away from Harry and towards the door.

He nodded. “Oh Y/N? Are you still coming with us tomorrow night?”

You thought for a moment, then gave him a small nod.

There was some huge party—just because—hosted by his record label to take place the following evening. It was going to be at the swankiest place, and although you didn’t particularly want to go, Caleb did. Which meant you were going as well.

“Yeah, we’re still on.”

…

Cayley wrapped her arms tightly around your body and had no intention of letting go.

“Don’t forget about us waitresses when you’re living the fancy life on a yacht,” she said, sniffling.

“Oh, of course I won’t,” you told her sincerely.

Your last work shift passed by in a blur, by far the fastest ever.

“I have something for you,” Cayley said, leaning behind her.

Your eyes widened in surprise.

“Cayley, you didn’t need to get me anything!”

“It’s not for you, actually. It’s for Caleb. Just some chicken fingers,” she smiled.

You threw yourself into her arms one last time and let the tears fall.

They continued to stream down your face when you left the diner and stepped into Harry’s car, which was waiting for you in the back lot.

“Come here,” he said softly as soon as he saw you.

There you sat, in the front seat of his Rover, legs straddling his hips for half an hour. His hands gently stroked through your hair, setting off tingles on your scalp. Even when you had stopped crying, you sat there, motionless. It just felt too damn good.

“Let’s go home,” Harry said finally.

But where was home?

…

It wasn’t the plan to travel to the party separately from Harry, but he had been called to the venue several hours earlier from his manager.

“Go!” you insisted. “We’ll meet you there.”

“It’s probably important, or else he wouldn’t have called…” Harry explained.

You held your hand up.

“You don’t need to justify yourself to me.”

So that was why you were standing in front of the same mirror as the night before, but this time in a short, black cocktail dress.

Gosh.

You hadn’t worn something of the sort since before you were pregnant.

“Wow, you look smoking hot!” Gemma whistled as she came into the room with Caleb, dressed in a gray blazer. You blushed bright pink.

“Why don’t you look so handsome, little man!” you cooed.

“You look really pretty, Mommy! Mr. Monkey thinks you look pretty too!” Caleb said, clutching his stuffed friend.

“Seriously, you’ll have my brother on his knees in no time,” Gemma continued.

You shot her daggers. “Uh…Caleb, why don’t you and Mr. Monkey go pee before we leave?” you said, trying to get them out of the room.

“Gemma! So not appropriate! Or true,” you added quietly.

You went to sit down on the bed and plopped all the way down, your head hitting the soft mattress. Gemma joined you, doing the same.

“You still have no idea how he feels about you, do you?” she whispered. “He offered you his house…”

“Yeah, because I’m the mother of his son and we had no where to go,” you countered.

You felt Gemma’s body stiffen on the bed beside yours. “Look,” she began. You were surprised at the hardness in her voice. “Think what you want, but know that you’re hurting everyone around you. Even yourself. Especially yourself.”

…

You thought about what Gemma said as you drove to the party. Was Gemma right? Did Harry still feel things for you? More important, did he feel the way about you that you felt about him?

You found your answer in the form of a red headed woman hanging onto Harry’s arms as he mingled with the guests. She was a little intoxicated, and was clearly very friendly with your ex-husband.

Caleb saw his dad and ran straight towards him. You followed his path slowly.

“Y/N,” Harry smiled. He leaned in to kiss your cheek and you turned away at the last minute, denying him.

“I’m gonna make sure Caleb doesn’t get into trouble,” you said without looking into his eyes.

The weather was beautiful, at least there was that. Most of the party was outdoors, and you sat under the stars on a barstool, watching Caleb play with some of the other children.

“I’m sorry, do I know you?” the man sitting across from you asked.

You fought the urge to roll your eyes. Was this a line?

“No, sorry,” you answered curtly.

“No, no, I do,” he insisted. “You’re Y/N, Harry’s ex. I’m Joel Ward; I mix the backing vocals at the record label.”

Shit. Now that name did sound familiar.

“Oh, right, sorry,” you said sheepishly.

“No worries,” he chuckled. “I know this may not be the place to talk about this, but Harry had mentioned you were looking for an accounting job? My sister has her own firm and she’s looking for…”

“Yes,” you said immediately, without shame.

If he was offering you a job, you were taking it.

He laughed, a pleasant sound.

“I actually have the details in a room somewhere here. You interested in looking at it now?” Joel asked.

You nodded enthusiastically, and sent Caleb to stay with his dad.

…

You tried not to feel uncomfortable as Joel led you by the hand to one of the rooms inside. It was down a long hallway. You looked around curiously; what the hell was this place?

“Right here,” Joel said quietly, opening up a door to a dark room.

“Here?” You looked around. It was a bedroom. And it was empty. “This is where you have the stuff about the job?”

Joel laughed, and this time it wasn’t such a pleasant sound. “What fucking job?”

Your heart sank. He began to remove his tie from around his neck.

“Joel, I don’t know what this is…”

“Oh come on, you’re single and I’m…my girlfriend won’t mind,” he winked.

Gross.

“I’m leaving,” you announced, your voice shaking.

Joel’s hand went underneath your dress and you felt it skim a place you didn’t want anyone but Harry touching.

“I don’t think so!” you said, slapping him across the face and making a clean getaway.

You had reached the main section of the party when you ran into a solid body. Harry.

“Y/N, what the hell?”

You were panting so hard you could barely breathe. He held you close and whispered sweet nothings, still oblivious to what was going on.

“Joel…” you panted.

Speak of the devil, he approached Harry as if nothing happened.

“Did you fucking do something to her? Did you fucking try something?” Harry seethed, stepping in front of you protectively.

“Nah, I didn’t do anything with that nun. Must say, Styles, I can see why you’re still so hung up on this one. She must have one tight pussy considering how little she puts out…”

That was the last thing Joel said before Harry’s fist collided with his jaw.

“Harry!”

“Daddy!”

“Stay away from my wife!” Harry said, pulling you and Caleb away.

God. Why did Harry have to punch him in front of Caleb?

“What the hell, Harry?” you asked a few feet from where it all went down.

“Look,” Harry whispered. “I can’t explain right now, there’s something I have to do.”

And just like that, he left you standing with Caleb.

Then you head his voice coming from a speaker.

“Um…is this thing on?” he joked.

What was he doing?

“Right, course it is. So, um, this is a song I wrote recently. It’s called Waiting on You. It’s about how sometimes you have that person, you’ll take anything they give you, even if it’s not all of them. Because you just love them so much, that they’re worth the wait. Because there’s nothing in the world I’d rather be doing than be waiting on you.”

Before he even began to sing you were crying. And when the song was done and the crowd clapped, you were still crying.

When the party finished, Caleb skipped happily as you walked wordlessly beside Harry toward his car.

“Harry,” you said, breaking the silence. “I still love you.”

What? That wasn’t what you had wanted to say when you opened your mouth. But it was true.

He stopped walking and looked at you sideways with a beautiful smile.

“God, I’ve been waiting for that.”

THE END. Thanks so much for reading! x

[cinnamon-pigeon]

pre-rewrite: chapter 3

Saving the older versions of rewritten chapters of After the Bust! Predominantly for my own later reference, but also if anyone wants to see :)

What changed: Took out a lot of exposition that ended up feeling kind out of place. I started writing this with a pretty half-baked (to be generous) characterization of King Dice and although the exposition was helpful to me to flesh out his character, it wasn’t necessary where it was.

To Dice’s surprise, it was Cuphead who brought him dinner, unaccompanied by his brother or the Elder Kettle. The boy set down a tray holding a bowl of soup and two cartons of apple juice in front of King Dice, then grabbed a carton of juice from the tray and retreated to sit in a chair in the corner of the room.

Remembering the tea that had been prepared for him earlier, Dice inspected the bowl of soup closely before taking a bite. It looked like some kind of chicken and wild rice soup, speckled with carrots and celery. The carrots were a little undercooked, and the creamy broth was a little less seasoned than he would have liked, but it was nonetheless quite tasty. His stomach growled, reminding him that he couldn't remember the last time he had a proper meal.

“Can I ask you a question?” Cuphead spoke up suddenly. The boy’s voice had an edge of unnecessary force, as if he had been waiting for the right opportunity to speak.

“I'm certainly not in a position to stop you,” Dice responded pointedly.

“What happened ? I mean, really.” Cuphead leaned against the edge of his seat. “Mugs thinks we busted you up like this, and he just tried real hard to forget, but I’d remember... that. ” Dice tried his best not to grimace as Cuphead gestured in his direction.

To stall, Dice carefully tore open the carton of apple juice and took a long, slow drink. He wasn't sure what advantages or disadvantages would come from Cuphead knowing that he had gotten into a fight with the Devil. If he was going along with the idea that he was suddenly free from his soul contract with the Devil, then it should follow that he no longer had powers to defend himself.

In the end, it was a mixture of exhaustion and indifference got to Dice. “What d’you think happened?” he responded with a sigh.

Cuphead tilted his head, and stared at him with wide, curious eyes. “The Devil wasn’t happy with you,” he said finally. “We beat him up pretty bad, too, though, so…”

Right on the nose--the kid wasn’t quite as clueless as he looked. Dice snorted. “It’s the Devil , Cup,” he said. “I’ll give ya credit where it’s due, you did a hell of a job with those debtors and the Devil himself. But don’t go thinking that it’s ever gonna happen again.”

The boy looked reproachfully at Dice, then directed his face towards the floorboards. Dice paused, remembering the Elder Kettle’s warning words about being indebted to the cup brothers. Perhaps now wasn’t the right time for him to lash out about how unlikely the whole situation was.

Before he could speak, though, Cuphead broke the silence. “So, what are you gonna do, once you get better?” He asked, kicking at the floor idly. “Are ya gonna go back to the Devil’s Casino?”

The earnestness in his tone caught Dice off-guard. He hadn’t had the time or capacity to think much about what was going to happen next, and the mere suggestion of a future beyond his next few weeks of recovery twisted a knot in his stomach that made it difficult to breathe. The Devil’s Casino had been his pride and joy, his lifeblood; though he had been the one to walk away, he still hadn’t come to terms with losing it.

“Don’t go back to working for the Devil,” Cuphead interjected suddenly. “You know what he called you? His ‘good-for-nothing lackey’. It’d be an awful shame for you to go running back there when you’re finally free now.”

The resolve in the boy’s words was unwavering. Completely disarmed, Dice stared into his bowl of soup. It occurred to him that his dinner was getting cold, and he shoved a spoonful into his mouth.

Get a load of this guy , he thought, numbly stirring his spoon through the soup. Mugman, the younger brother, seemed sweet and legitimately concerned for Dice’s well-being, but there was something about Cuphead’s bluntness that made him feel unnerved. It was blatantly out of line, the way that he was being spoken to. Any other day, he wouldn't have taken such blunt advice from a kid while lying down.

The stabbing pain in his chest reminded him that, in the current circumstances, he didn't have any other options.

The Devil’s abuse was nothing new to him--he had worked at the Casino for years, after all, long enough to make his share of mistakes and see his boss on many a bad day--but he had always been able to dismiss the mistreatment, because it happened behind closed doors. On occasion, one of the casino’s staff would overhear the Devil lashing out at Dice, but they always had the good sense not to ever mention the incident. Dice had always been a bit of an outsider amongst the staff of the Devil’s Casino--while most of them were a fun-loving bunch who had long since accepted their lot in life, Dice had always been aloof, and made no secret of the fact that he saw himself as above them because of his cunning and ambition. Most of the employees who worked at the casino had been around long enough to watch his unexpected rise from a simple blackjack dealer to the casino manager and hand of the Devil, and he relished the look of fear in his former co-workers’ eyes as they watched his power continue to grow. Even if the Devil’s position over him was wrought iron and absolute, there was no question that Dice was his right-hand man, and that gave him the strength to withstand even the worst of the Devil. He was good at what he did, dammit, and he was a grown man, not a child looking for a handout for being good.

The look on Cuphead’s face, more concerned than spiteful, twisted the knife further into Dice’s chest. He didn't want pity from a kid.

“Mister, um, King Dice?” Dice didn't realize that he was taking so long to respond until Cuphead jumped in. For the first time, Dice heard a note of hesitation in Cuphead’s voice. The look on the kid’s wide eyes was like that of a deer in the headlights of a steam train. The conversation had certainly taken a turn into territory that Cuphead had neither expected nor prepared for. Dice was surprised to feel a twinge of empathy as he looked at the boy’s face. It was only a few days ago that the kid had the scare of a lifetime, traveling the Inkwell Isles to collect debts and brawl against fully-grown opponents who were imbued with the Devil’s powers. Cuphead and his kid brother had won, sure, but it was bound to leave a pretty nasty scar on their psychology.

And he was responsible. For the first time, Dice thought of what he had done and felt a sickening wave of regret.

Cuphead was clearly beginning to panic at Dice’s sudden wave of emotion. He ground his heels into the ground and wrung his white-gloved hands together. “Erm…” the boy muttered.  

Dice leaned back into his pillow, turning his face towards the ceiling. “Yeah?”

Cuphead appeared to be thinking very hard for a moment, before a slightly devious grin crossed his face. “The Baroness made us a cake, for...um, you know.” He tactlessly avoided mentioning his deal with the Devil.

Well, that was out of left field. Dice’s eyebrows furrowed. “Baroness von Bon Bon? I've heard of her,” he responded.

“Yeah, she made us a cake,” Cuphead responded with a nod. “Mugman and the Elder Kettle left to get some stuff from the emporium. The Elder Kettle said no dessert tonight, but do you think…maybe...you want some?”

Dice regarded the kid with amusement. “What’s in it for you?” he asked wryly. It occurred to him that Cuphead was trying to cheer him up under the guise of childish antics, and he appreciated the gesture enough to play along.

Cuphead couldn't contain a soft giggle. “Well, the Elder Kettle can’t be mad if I brought the cake to make you feel better. But gee, it would be rude to just eat it in front of me without offering me any...”

Dice smiled knowingly. “Alright,” he said. “You know, some cake sounds just swell.”

⚀

Dice or no Dice, the Devil would have to start rebuilding the Devil’s Casino at some point. He was almost back to full health, though he knew that, without the souls of the Inkwell Isle debtors, his powers wouldn't quite be what he remembered them to be.

The ruins of his casino were more depressing than he remembered it, from the time he had come to the overworked to confront Dice. He lit a cigar, puffing slowly as he made his way around the destroyed casino floor, surveying the damage.

He half-expected to see Dice amongst the rubble, restored to full strength and wearing his favorite lilac suit, playing idly with his favorite deck of magic aces. ‘ I’m on it, Boss,’   Dice would say. ‘ People are gonna be as dumb as they were before, don’t worry ‘bout that. In no time at all, we’ll have robbed them blind twice over, eh, Boss?’

Dice’s arrogant and sycophantic “Devil’s right-hand man” schtick used to annoy the Devil to no end. It annoyed him even more because he knew Dice was too hard-headed to understand that, in the grand scheme of eternity, the life and death of little Caleb Dice would mean very little to Satan himself.

What annoyed him the most was that how he was finding himself wishing Dice were here right now. Dice had always been just useful enough to think he had some value to the Devil, and just annoying enough for the Devil to wish that he didn’t. Dice really was a spectacular casino manager, and shockingly adept at swindling people out of their souls; it eventually reached the point where the Devil granted Dice the power to sign the soul contracts as his proxy, since it was becoming so cumbersome to deal with each case individually. Dice had been right about the casino, too--after he was promoted to manager, the aesthetic upgrades that he gave the casino had been good for business. Looking around at the ornately detailed red carpet, the ballroom-style ceiling, the polished wood furnishings that practically glowed even in the dim light of the casino--the whole thing screamed King Dice .

The Devil hissed with frustration and clambered over a card table that had been crushed underneath a chandelier.

Although nobody was speaking about it out loud, news that the King had left the Devil’s Casino spread like wildfire through the rest of the staff. Although nobody dared ask him about what would happen to Dice, from what his minions were reporting, it seemed to be the general consensus that Dice was going to be captured, tortured, and maybe have his head mounted on the wall of the Devil’s Casino.

It was kind of tempting, considering the mess that Dice had left in his wake. But the Devil knew that would never work if he wanted to preserve a chance at winning souls again. Dice was a well-known, if not entirely well-loved, figure to the Inkwell Isles, and killing him off would be a sure way to ensure that nobody with an ounce of common sense would come within a mile of the Devil’s Casino ever again. Image was important, Dice had been the one to teach him that--there was a reason that he had never sent anyone to collect on the soul contracts until the cup boys begged him for a way out of their own debts.

The staff of the casino were also deeply reluctant to see their boss be, as they whispered about in hushed tones, torn limb from limb by a beast form of the Devil. They were too terrified to do much of anything right now, cut off from the overworld and without a leader, but who knows what might happen when Dice returned? The beating he had taken from Cuphead and Mugman had been bad enough to make the Devil think twice about taking on a fight that he wasn't absolutely certain he could handle.

Something would have to be done, that much was certain. For now, though, he needed to rebuild the Casino. With his minions to keep a careful eye on the staff of the casino, he could do that much without Dice.

The Devil paced aimlessly as he thought, and was surprised to find that he had led himself to Dice’s suite above the Casino. The room was orderly and ornate, just like everything about Dice. A purple robe was draped over the duvet, and a few purple jackets, the ones that Dice insisted on wearing at all times during work, were hung on the door frame.

The room still smelled faintly like Dice. It was odd, how a place could smell so distinctly like someone, so strongly that it felt like the person was there. Standing in the empty room, the Devil could almost hear Dice’s haughty laugh. Dice always smelled like tobacco and mints and that expensive cologne he insisted on having sent to him, even though it was entirely impractical. In Dice’s presence, the Devil always hated the smell of that cologne. Like Dice himself, it was sleazy and unnecessarily pompous and had all the subtlety of being hit in the face with a baseball bat.

The Devil heaved a sigh and curled up on Dice’s violet duvet, resting his head on the robe that lay there, patiently waiting for its owner to return home. Sunlight streamed in past the maroon drapes, making the room comfortably warm.

He didn't miss King Dice, the Devil thought to himself, as he closed his eyes and let the warm overworld sunlight lull him to sleep. He’d just been through a lot lately, and he needed some rest…

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Mystic Messenger Fanfiction | Vanderwood Backstory | Ch4. Needs

***This fanfiction covers my version of Vanderwood which I rp in our Mystic Messenger Server. Don’t forget to subscribe to the email list for access to R-Rated Scenes and my monthly newsletter. Check out my etsy to get yourself a plastic emoji. You can also support my writing on patreon and get access to my VIP Discord Server or other goodies like early chapter releases and hidden scenes. Chapter Directory.  ~Let’s Connect! FFC***

“Dude, you can’t fight today.” TJ was annoying him. Everyone and everything was annoying him. His heavy set friend had his own bruises marring his dark skin. TJ was that one black guy for whom the mandatory brown marker in a Yaycrola set actually matched his skin tone. Once upon a time, that had made Vanderwood laugh. Now he just snorted softly. “You’ve got a boxer’s fracture you gotta heal up, and I know for a fact you already paid rent, so what are you even doing here today?”

Vanderwood looked around the warehouse full of people and shrugged. What was he even doing here? It seemed like he went here on impulse more than anything. Whenever he thought about Caleb or ran into his dad, he just kind of…showed up here. Really, he didn’t feel much of anything. He hadn’t watched TV for what seemed like years and this was the only thing he did other than sit at home and stare at his wall, wanting to put his fist through the drywall. “Guess I’ll just go then.”

TJ started to say something else, but Vanderwood was gone. His muscles felt so tight it was almost like his entire body was squeezing him. He just started running, nowhere in particular, needing to do something, and found himself at a bar. It wasn’t so crazy to be entering a bar right now, it was getting towards evening. Not that it really would have made much of a difference to Vanderwood at this point. He was thinking that maybe if he got blackout drunk, he wouldn’t have to think about anything else.

How long had it been since Caleb had died? Vanderwood honestly couldn’t remember. He did remember that he’d since turned twenty…which meant really he wasn’t supposed to be at the bar, but the bartender didn’t card him. That was one thing Vanderwood had going for him. He looked like he was in his mid-twenties at the least. The bartender asked him what he wanted, but Vanderwood just shrugged, so he ended up with a large glass and a bottle of hard liquor next to him. This bartender was pretty damn observant.

Vanderwood threw back a glass and wiped his mouth when he felt more than saw someone sit next to him. He turned his head just slightly, looking over the newcomer from his periphery. She wasn’t bad looking, her black hair was pulled up into a high ponytail, with her shirt cut low, the sleeves low too to expose her shoulders, collarbone, and cleavage. The girl had some sizable breasts and he had to admit her ass looked good in those skinny jeans.

Generally, Vanderwood ignored women. He’d always ignored women. There just wasn’t anything in particular he found interesting about them. It wasn’t that he was gay. His magazines had just always been enough to satisfy his curiosity as a teenager, since actually being around other people was something he never really enjoyed. Plenty of girls and women had hit on him before, and he’d considered taking some up on their offer as a teen, just to find out what all the hubbub was about, but had eventually decided against it since he didn’t want anyone to get too close to him. This girl though…He was pretty sure she wasn’t interested in him on a personal level, and his suspicions were quickly confirmed.

“You look like a guy who needs a good time.” Her voice was low, drawn out, deep brown eyes looking up to meet his as she leaned her arm against the bar top, further giving him a view of her cleavage. “I don’t come cheap, but I think you really need it.” Vanderwood snorted softly, biting his tongue as he thought it over. A hooker. There would be no attachment, he didn’t have anything else to do, and…his eyes caught sight of his right hand and the white lines of crisscrossing scars. His heart clenched painfully, the guilt, pain, and anger rising hard again. He needed a distraction.

Vanderwood pulled out his wallet nonchalantly. He’d been winning a lot of fights lately and had plenty of money to use. It wasn’t being used for anything else anyway. “Good news for you, I don’t need cheap. How much and where?” He wasn’t entirely sure on how you talked to a hooker, but his detached demeanor seemed to be working just fine for her. “I use the room upstairs. $250 an hour.” After flashing her the money, he put it back in his pocket. “I’ll pay you once I meet you up there.” A smirk grew on the hooker’s face. This one was a smart cookie, he wouldn’t pay until he got the goods. She nodded and took off, Vanderwood following her with his eyes to see where she took the stairs up.

He pushed away from the bar and headed towards the bathroom. If he was going to do this, he at least wasn’t going to be stupid about it. There was no way he was catching something and he sure as Hell wasn’t looking towards getting anyone pregnant. Vanderwood got a condom from the bathroom dispenser. It was a little strange, he thought, as he went up the stairs, finding the room the hooker was in pretty quickly. Normally, people would lose their virginity as a fumbling teenager in the back of their parents’ car, but he wasn’t exactly normal anyway. Vanderwood wasn’t sure what to expect, really. If he was being honest, he was expecting to feel virtually nothing. Since Caleb, magazines and TV weren’t something he even bothered to look at, but like he’d thought earlier, I’ve got nothing better to do.

“So how do you like it, handsome? Want help getting undressed?” Vanderwood stiffened up, the idea of someone else touching him was not one he was interested in. At the moment, even her voice was annoying him. “How about this. You don’t touch me, you don’t talk to me, and I do what I want?” That seemed more reasonable to him. If the woman was really about her money, it wouldn’t make a difference to her anyway, and he was right, she just nodded and sat on the bed, watching him through her lashes.

His eyes had searched the room briefly, noting a clock stating it was 5 o’clock. Vanderwood closed the door with his foot and pulled off his shirt before moving over towards her. He’d kissed a girl in 8th grade, well really, had been kissed by a girl in 8th grade, and it hadn’t been so bad, but now he just took this woman’s chin and kissed her hard. It was unfeeling, it was rough, and for him, it felt damn great. His hand found her ponytail and wrapped her hair around his fingers, yanking a little, maybe harder than was polite, but the hooker was quiet other than a soft little sound that just made him feel even better. It had sounded pretty genuine, wasn’t faked for his amusement.

(R-Rated Scene. Subscribe to the FFC-Reader email list to receive your password for R-Rated reading on my site.)

His eyes found the clock he’d noticed when he’d entered the room. 6:30…He’d been in there for an hour and a half. “I’m assuming half an hour is $125.” Vanderwood took out $375 and placed it on a dresser near the door as the hooker spoke up, her voice sounding surprisingly rawer than it had when she’d first talked to him. “Don’t worry about the half hour, hot stuff.” Vanderwood raised an eyebrow at her.

That had made him uncomfortable. “I’m a customer like anybody else. Your $375 is on the dresser.” With that, he walked out, surprised that he didn’t feel that little angry beast in his chest right now. Maybe he should do this more often. The hooker called out to him before he closed the door. “Come back to me anytime; a man has his needs.” He wouldn’t be coming back to her, but she was right. Vanderwood did have needs and now he knew how to take care of them.

As he paid for his drink with the bartender, who didn’t mention the hooker making Vanderwood think she had some sort of agreement with him, he noticed a woman at the end of the bar eying him. He smirked a little at the way her eyes traveled over his body, and felt a little twitch as he did the same to her. Another hour of what he’d just had didn’t sound so bad to him. Vanderwood walked over to the woman, seeing her jump just a little before her eyes went back to their sultry look. She wasn’t bad looking, and seemed like she was thinking the same thing.

“Feel like coming home with me?” The idea of having sex again so quickly after the first, he’d heard only a few could do it and that it hurt, but he could feel he was fully ready to go and wouldn’t mind the extra rush of euphoria. “Let’s go.” He pointed his jaw towards the door and the girl jumped up, following along eagerly. Yeah. He had needs.

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