#the one on the right (bellerose) is the one i got from my brother

[ferberus-skull]

my auraboas 👍

[mommahughes19-23]

Even Though I'm Leaving - E.E

warnings: mentions of death, mentions of cancer, grief, DO NOT READ IF THIS WOULD TRIGGER YOU!

Based off of attached song/my personal journey fighting cancer!

"SHES FUCKING GONE DUDE - SHE'S GONE AND I CAN'T BRING HER BACK." Ethan screams out as he clutches the #73 jersey he had got you for your senior prom gift, the summer before you would both start at UMICH.

6 months, 26 weeks, 182 days, 4,380 hours, 26,280 minutes, 15,768,000 seconds ;

that's how long Ethan has been hurting ; how long his world has been flipped upside-down for ; how long he hasn't been able to properly function as a human being, including basic tasks. Who could blame him though... most importantly it had been 6 months to the day that you had left this world. You and Ethan had met your junior year of high school, you had transferred that year to Bellerose Composite High School, Ethan being the first person you met as he was in most of your classes. He was also the one out of his friend group to suggest you sit with them at lunch, and by the time junior prom rolled around it had been 6 months with Ethan and you knew then he was the one.

Unfortunately that was also the year that things took a HUGE turn, as that would be the same year that you had been diagnosed with stage 2 ovarian cancer. That was also the first time in your entire time knowing Ethan that you decided to shut him out. To text him and tell him unfortunately you had some stuff come up and wouldn't be around much for a little while. To say Ethan was confused and hurt when he tried to call you minutes after reading that text and you sent him straight to voicemail, he decided he would give you time. Meanwhile your brother and him texted all the time and you could see what toll it was taking on him to have to keep your condition from Ethan.

"Sweetie, you're going to have to face him sooner or later." your mom says from the other side of your room door. Since getting the news you had began to isolate yourself more and more, there was no point in trying anymore when you weren't sure how long you had to try. "Well I choose later thanks, now if I can get back to planning what flowers I want on my headstone that would be great." you respond back. "Sweetie, I had to tell Tara and Lee. I-" You swung the door open "YOU WHAT? What the FUCK MOM???? I told you not to say anything before I was ready." you half screamed half sobbed. "Sweetie, they are worried about you, you haven't been over there in a week, Ethan is barley eating or sleeping, I didn't know what to do when they asked the other evening at dinner." she responds. "Wait what do you mean Ethan isn't sleeping or eating?" you ask "Sweetie, Ethan hasn't eaten a meal since you stopped responding to him, Tara says she's lucky to get him to even have a granola bar." she says. "I can't deal with this right now." you say closing the door in your moms face.

It was later that week you decided to break the news to Ethan.

It was during lunch on that Thursday you walked up to his usual table, your heart pounding in your chest. He looked at you, he wanted to be mad, to tell you to fuck off, that you had broken him by ghosting him. Yet after school there he found himself with you in your room. "E, I wanted to tell you, but I don't want to be a burden, and you have hockey and I don't want-" With tears streaming down both of your cheeks Ethan pulls you in for a kiss, one that leaves you breathless and wanting more, but you know it's not the time. "Baby, we are going to fight this, together, you are never a burden my angel, you have got this 100%." he says. “This will be just another obstacle we face, one that we will get to tell our grandchildren about.” he continues. “Because my love you are so strong, you will beat it. Promise.” he finishes as he interlocks pinkies with you, his way of showing you he’s truly here for the long run.

When it came down to discussing potential college opportunities for the both of you it was no question University of Michigan was where you two wanted to call home for the next 4 years. You being a gymnast received an offer to come on a scholarship and well to say they had been eyeing your boyfriend for as long as you had been attending his high school games is an understatement. Ethan could remember the day you both got your acceptance letters as if it was yesterday.

"E, did you check the mail????" you asked as you both walked toward Ethans' Alberta house. "How in the world would I have checked the mail if I have been at school with you all day?" he responded playfully. "Well you big bully, I got my acceptance/rejection letter yesterday and I want to open them together." you say pulling the sealed envelope out of your bag, prompting Ethan to grab your hand and pull you to move faster. "YOU GOT IT AND YOU DIDN'T THINK TO CALL ME???? YOU DORK" he says playfully. As soon as you both get to the Edwards mailbox Ethan finds exactly what he is looking for. You and Ethan walk into the house, dropping your stuff by the front door and make a beeline toward Ethans room. Sitting down on his bed you count together and open the letters.

Your sophomore year at UMICH is when things started to go downhill. You ended up getting a small 3 bedroom place with Rutger and Marks girlfriends, Farrah and Kayleigh. For you it was a matter of declining health and the girls hated their roommates at the time. The girls had also been a big help at the games, specifically away games, helping you navigate stairs and such as you became weaker and weaker. So when Kay suggested maybe you would be more comfortable going through the chemotherapy process in a more private setting, you jumped at the opportunity. Ethan was basically living with the three of you by the time you were fully settled having him set up his very own drawers in the bathroom and your bedroom.

So here he was now, in that same bedroom almost a year since you two had shared it, surrounded by his hockey team and select significant others, with your jersey in hand. It had not started like that for him that day however, Ethan actually had no intention of going to your place, not that day and not any time in the near future. How was he supposed to dig through his soulmates personal items, items that held countless and priceless memories of how much her and Ethan truly loved each other. He couldn't, and he wouldn't, however when he received a text from Rutger and Luca saying everyone had a free day and the girls needed to start clearing space to sell the condo, he would be dammed if he let anyone else into your shared world. 2 hours later as the girls let them in saying their hellos he noticed a few of the other guys were already there. T.J, Dylan, Tyler, Mark, and Seamus all sitting on the couch.

"E, I- we know this is still really fresh and hard for you, but we are all going to be here for you ok?" Kayleigh says trying her best to be sympathetic but strong for her boyfriends best friend. Ethan looked up realizing he was being spoken to as Mark rests his hand on his shoulder. "Hey, we can take as much time as you need dude. Do what you have to do man." Ethan leads the way into your room, a room that has been untouched by any human presence since your last day there. When you made the decision to leave UMICH, you had just gotten the news that it was now in stage 4 and there wasn't much to be done anymore. You decided to spend your last few weeks at home with your family without telling anyone, not Ethan, not the team, not the girls. You didn't want goodbyes, you didn't want to leave the world knowing how much it would truly hurt those you cared about. You also knew that if you told Ethan he would INSIST on being there by your side till the day you stopped fighting and you refused to be the reason he put his life on hold. You knew he would insist on trying to fight this more, to just try one more round of treatment, to try one more pill, at this point if someone told Ethan dancing the Macarena could cure you he would be doing it on repeat all day every day.

You were tired though, tired of all the chemotherapy, the physical toll it was taking on you, breaking you down into nothing, taking everything you love from you slowly. First gymnastics, then the promise of a life with your soulmate, and now the will to fight, you couldn't take this anymore. Needing help from the guys and girls as you got weaker and needed assistance of a wheelchair, you felt you had become a burden. So when Ethan went looking for you after not hearing from you the previous day, Farrah telling him you had gone to your 6pm class but never come back, his heart stopped. Where did you go? Were you ok? Had his worst fear come true?

He called you, 164 times that week, not knowing you were finally slipping away, not knowing that you had finally found your peace. Calling your parents, who couldn't bring themselves to answer, knowing why he was calling, it wasn't until he got the call from his mom that it was confirmed. You were gone. You had been gone 3 days after you left. The next few weeks were a blur between your funeral and all the condolences he was getting, he took a few weeks off of school to go home and be with your family and his.

"Yeah, uh thanks guys." he says making his way into your room. "We don't want to overwhelm you bro so we are gonna be out here. Let us know if you need anything." Luca says. With that Ethans head snaps up as he drops the stuffed animal he had picked up off the bed. "What- no you- wait I can't do this by myself." he starts feeling his chest get heavy and his lungs reduce in size. "I don't even know where to start or what to do you can't leave me." he begs. The boys look at each other and after silently letting the girls know they would be out in a little Rutger and Luca sit on your bed. Ethan begins by opening your closet, the overwhelming scent of your perfume, and just of you hits him like a brick. Noticing his lack of movement Luca and Rutger get up and walk towards him, "Take your time E, we are here for you." he says. Ethan begins to start taking your shirts off hangers and thats when he sees it, right under his team issued raincoat he had lent you once. The yellow and blue that could be seen from miles away catching his eye as if to almost taunt him, your jersey.

When you and Ethan had been accepted to UMICH you both received some goodie bags of gear from your respective sports programs. Ethan being the guy he is knew he needed to get you in his name and number ASAP so once he found out what number he was assigned, he jumped at the opportunity to plan with some of the guys to customize a blank jersey from the book store for you. Your senior prom Ethan had come over early, while you were still getting ready actually, his plan was to gift you the jersey before prom. Your parents being the way they are, they denied Ethan a peek before you were ready and he ended up having to give it to you in the limo. You had worn it to every single home and away game you attended which was all but maybe 2 games and Ethan couldn't feel prouder to see his name claim you in a subtle way.

Ethan presses the piece of clothing to his chest and silently begins to let the tears flow. "You know I told my parents I don’t think I am going to accept the offer from the Devils." he begins. "What are you saying dude??? Why would you tell them that?” Luca says. "Well without yn I’m nothing, I don't deserve to be happy or live out my dream when she's supposed to be by my side." "Dude, you loved her and we get that but you can't throw away your future just because yn isn't here. You know she would want you to continue and make a life for yourself." Rutger responds. "I went to development camp, is that not enough for everyone? If she's not with me I don't want to do this anymore, I should have done more, tried harder to get her to fight." he says breaking down more and more. "You can't blame-" T.J, who had now come into the room with the other guys stared, "THEN WHO THE FUCK DO I BLAME? WHO DO I GET ANGRY WITH WHEN I REACH FOR HER AND SHES NOT THERE?" Ethan looses it and screams out. "I DO BLAME MYSELF, I PROMISED HER SHE WOULD BEAT THIS FUCKING THING. NOTHING YOU SAY WILL MAKE ME FEEL DIFFERENT. I DON'T DESERVE HOCKEY, I DON'T WANT TO BE HAPPY WITH OUT HER." "Ethan, bro, where is this coming from? We had a blast at development camp what's gotten into you? Talk to me." Seamus says. "SHE'S FUCKING GONE DUDE - SHE'S GONE AND I CAN'T BRING HER BACK." he screams clutching the jersey closer to his chest and takes a deep breath. "I love her, we were supposed to grow old and be together for the rest of our lives. Why should I move on when she doesn't get to?" he continues slightly less aggressive.

Luca walks over to him where he's now collapsed onto the floor. "I was waiting for the right time to give you this." he starts holding out a sealed envelope with the word Ethan written in your handwriting on the front. "What- what is that?" Ethan asks taking the envelope from his friend. "Look dude, the day before y.n left she asked me to hold on to this, to let you take your time to grieve, but she knew you would be a stubborn asshole. She asked me to give you this when you lost all hope." Luca explains, "She didn't tell me the content of the letter but I'm hoping it might help." he says. All the guys made eye contact with each other and Seamus spoke up, "We will give you a moment dude." and a moment later Ethan sits on your bed and opens the envelope:

Ethan, I'm afraid, won't you stay a little while and keep me safe cause there's monsters right outside. They keep telling me to be hopeful, to have faith, to be honest baby I don't know how much more 'faith' I can have anymore. I want to be honest with you my love, because that is what we have always prided ourself on being, I'm writing you because it's not looking good. Every day is another battle to fight and I know they don't think I do but I hear it in the doctors and nurses voice, I'm not getting any better my love. Please know one thing that I hope can bring you comfort and that is that I have accepted my journey and I am at peace with whatever happens. As much as I don't want to leave you and the guys and my family, I am tired, so very tired of fighting, we have been fighting for years now and I need you to know I couldn't ask for a better partner to have fought this battle with. With that being said baby I need to leave you with my last hope for you when I am gone.

I know you won't listen to any of the guys, and that is why I have asked Luca to give you this incase I don't get to say this to your face. You CANNOT and I WILL NOT let you self-sabotage your future Eth, I know that you are going to feel like there's no hope, no point in experiencing these AMAZING milestones without me. I know you will tell everyone you no longer care for the sport of hockey, that you don't and won't allow yourself to experience playing for the Devils because you feel you no longer have anyone to share your incredible journey with. Ethan babe, that's SO far from the truth, because as long as you live I will be with you my love, where ever you go and what ever you do I will ALWAYS be in your heart and in your soul. You should know that even in death you won't get rid of me that easy Edwards.

Just 'cause I'm leaving doesn't mean that I won't be right by your side. When you need me and you can't see me in the middle of the night here's what I want you to do baby : Close your eyes and say a prayer and know that I know you're scared when I'm not here but I'll always be right there even though I'm leaving, baby I promise I ain't goin' nowhere. I know I act tough, but there's a churnin' in my gut cause I just can't call you up when things get rough anymore. I won't be able to wrap my arms around you and comfort you when you need me most, but know that I continue to route for you wether I'm physically here or not. Baby boy you have so much potential, so much love, so much light, so much joy, and so much passion please don't throw it all away after all of the hard work you and I have both put in to get you here.

I will love you with all of my heart and soul for the rest of time my New Jersey Devil. Make sure you allow the guys in during your hard times. As much as I know it's not me, they care about you and love you just as much, (though they will claim they love you more than I did, to which I say LUCA EVEN FROM THE GRAVE I'LL KILL YOU) and they want the best for you babe. I can't wait to hear all of the stories of your first season in the NHL, know that though I physically won't be in the stands, I will be at every game as long as you are thinking of me. Most importantly my love, you deserve to have a family, before you protest (I know you are) I mean it , you deserve to experience everything we have ever dreamed of, and I know you don't feel like it will ever happen but I'll be here to say I told you so when it does. Don't think of it as I'm not with you anymore, just loving you from afar my dear.

I love you so much, take your time to get yourself together, but then remember baby, it's game time.

your forever angel, Y.N

And with that Ethan knew he had some very big choices to make. If only you were here to make them with you.

**PLEASE READ**

A.N:

IM SORRY IVE BEEN MIA... I am going to be absent for the next week, I put in my notice at work so next week I start school up again and work almost every day lol.

First and foremost thank you to @quinnylouhughesx43 for helping me structure an idea. Second, I would like to say that before ANYONE accuses me of stealing other blogs works let me be CRYSTAL CLEAR: I am fully aware that there are stories like this floating around already, I actually reblogged one about jack the other day (highly recommend if you haven't read it yet to read it its on @lukehughes43 blog). At the same time this was a completely original idea I had and wanted to put out. I apologize if there is any similarities as I was partially inspired by said jack fic.

I hope you enjoy as this is one of the only written works I have put out. Feedback and Suggestions are welcomed.

also thank you to my baby girl @quinnylouhughesx43 for the banner <3

xoxox, M

Tagged : @babygirlboeser @quinnylouhughesx43 @lukey-pookie-hughes43 @skylershines @63kaprizov

[laydiibug]

Raphael Bellerose

Immortal human

Content Warnings: violence, parental abuse, drug use and addiction

Date of Birth: May 21st, 1999

Place of Birth: Winnipeg, Canada

Gender: Cis Male

Species/Racial Origin: French Canadian

Social Class/Community Status: Technically wealthy but raised in poverty due to his father’s bullshit. Now he has money from work and his boyfriend’s fortune but he doesn’t feel comfortable with it

Language(s) spoken: French, English, basic Spanish

Family: 

Birth Mother: Agnes Porter (Deceased)

Birth Father: Jacques Bellerose 

Adoptive Father: Oliver Campbell 

(Maternal Half) Brother: Michael Campbell 

(Paternal Half) Sister: Nora Harris 

Daughter: Olive Farrington-Bellerose 

Fiance: Noah Farrington 

Physical Description

Height: 6’1”

Weight: 200 lbs

Hair: strawberry blonde

Eyes: purpleish brown

Faceclaim: Joey Janela

Typical Clothing: literally whatever fits, usually looks like chaos incarnate.

Attributes

Personality/Attitude: annoyingly cheerful and gregarious, overprotective of his loved ones, actually kind of smart but usually only has two working brain cells that just go bing bong around in his skull.

Skills/Talents: really intense knowledge of very specific things including chemical compounds and their affect on the human brain, amphibian evolutionary science, and cars manufactured before 1960.

Favourites/Likes: dogs, literally any scrap of physical affection.

Most Hated/Dislikes: Being yelled at, white chocolate

Goals/Ambitions: To take good care of his family and set his daughter up for success

Strengths: Physically strong, loyal, has the ability to make almost anyone like him.

Weaknesses: his parents, a tendency to cheat and/or make his loved ones feel like they come second to his new interest. Also he can’t swim.

Fears: lightning, water

Hobbies/Interests: vary almost daily but professional wrestling, frogs, and camping never change.

Philosophy of Life: Live every second to the fullest, no hesitations

Attitude Toward Death:  it might not ever happen, so that’s cool but if it does he probably deserves it for doing something stupid

Religion/Beliefs: Agnostic, raised Catholic

Sexuality: Pansexual 

Place/Type of Residence: He owns a cabin in the woods near Buffalo NY, but his rich boyfriend often flies him out to LA

Occupation: Soldier, usually collecting money from businesses and dealers for his uncle. On the books he’s a part time cook.

Place of Work: Cicero’s Restaurant and Bar

Work-related Skills: I think that’s pretty obvious

Past Occupations: Dealer

Bio

Rafe and his older half brother (by their mother) Michael Campbell have spent their whole lives bouncing between parents that don't want them around (Jacques went as far as to kill each of them only to have them bounce right back unharmed) to aunts and uncles and even a few foster homes throughout their childhoods.

The only stable things in either of their lives are violence and each other and it's made them very dependent on both. Rafe, though he is younger, has always been the larger and more aggressive of the two, switching often between directing his violence at his brother or in defense of him. Now that he's got money to support himself he lives on his own in a cabin his uncle bought for him in return for some less than legal jobs helping around his grandfather's restaurant.

Recently he's discovered a half sibling, Nora (my muse), who shares his father and the two have gotten close while she lives with him at the cabin, bonding over their shitty parents and upbringing. In High School, Raphael had a very toxic on and off relationship with another young man, Noah Farrington, that ended with violence and Rafe dropping out of school to avoid seeing the other young man again.

The two have reconnected and are trying to make amends, but old habits are hard to break and they still have explosive fights. Rafe recently found out that one of his exes had his child and didn't bother to contact him, as she figured he'd be the same broke lowlife he was when they'd met. She was unable to care for their daughter and reached out to him after seeing him and Noah on TV, assuming he could at least have a nanny care for her. Rafe is thrilled to have his daughter Olive in his life and has really taken to parenting, as has Noah. Personality: Rafe is a conflicted person.

He can be a funny and relaxed guy, gentle with animals and children. He's making progress to learn how to be a good person despite the way he was taught to act and therapy has really helped to cool him off. He can control his anger for the most part but when he gets violent urges he seeks out his brother who he know can handle him. He's taken to avoiding his parents as they only feed his bad habits.

[alterlovetm]

arthur bellerose-mathieu ━  aka my favorite fancy boy 

1. name / family

hyphenated last name because his mother refused to have her kids not have her last name, so bellerose is his dad’s last name, and mathieu is his mother’s last name, but for most of his official school stuff, etc. has his name just as arthur bellerose,  but he likes having two last names because it sounds cool.  but for the most part, he uses just bellerose, but anything regarding his mother has control over, his name is down as arthur bellerose-mathieu or arthur mathieu.  so his school stuff/ official I.D. stuff is all the same but other things its kind of hit or miss as to what name is going to be written down. his take: two last names cause it looks cool and mathieu is a pretty lit name, he thinks. 

his mother is the Professional in the family, she has a government job that she puts a lot of time into and tends to work a lot of overtime / weekends / travels a lot, but all in country.  his father works a less high-stress job, and had been kind of stay-at-home when arthur and younger siblings were younger and needed someone at home when they got done with school. his father is a manager at a small café that’s a few blocks from where arthur lives, and does his best to work eight hour days, but arthur tends to have to look after younger siblings after school, so whenever his dad is at home, he goes out because he feels like he deserves to get out of the house. (& sometimes ? when he’s super drunk he feels a bit bad because his dad does a lot for them, and he just disappears whenever he’s at home.) 

& he’s gotten caught with weed only once and his dad wasn’t too mad but it was more like “you cannot have this in the house because of your siblings” hmm which is why someone had to take his extra weed after the party bc he couldn’t bring it home 

2. childhood, pre-series, etc. 

arthur’s family used to live in the south, by the mediterranean until he was about 10 and so he has a lot of nostalgia about the sea and being by the water and swimming, and going to the beach, as well as his grandparents all still live in the south, and so they end up going there during the summer, and he really enjoys that. they take the train down south, which is way better, in his opinion, than driving because he would lose his mind being in the back of a car with his siblings. 

they moved up to paris when his mother got her government job, and that was the most important thing in her life, her career, and his father was always supportive of her ambitions, and so moving to paris wasn’t a hardship for him, at all.  however, it was a bit messy for arthur, just because moving schools when you’re like 10/11 is always kind of hard, and so it took him a few years to kind of get to know people, but one of the first people he kind of became friends with was basile.

his siblings:  two younger sisters, amélie and ophélie. amélie is 13 and ophélie is 11. they’re a lot closer to each other than they are to arthur, they share a room, and he realises that he hasn’t been that great of an older brother, especially in terms of kind of interacting with his sisters, and would like to start being closer with them, but at the same time really wants to just do whatever he wants and that includes hanging out with his friends whenever he can, and his studies are also really important to him, so sometimes his relationship with his family kind of falls to the wayside. it’s definitely his mother’s genes that have him focused a lot on his studies and worried about his future and stuff. 

3. basile? lucas? yann? relationships? personality? etc?

first of all, he’s glad that his friend group is expanding because he does really like both lucas and yann and i think he and basile were kind of casual friends with yann and lucas before, but in the last like several months they all got a lot closer to the boys. like basile is his closest friend and so he kind of prioritizes basile over lucas and yann, but he likes having classes with lucas, and messing around and joking around about homework and what they’re studying, and working on homework together. 

he never does a lot of dating, not even because of any specific reason, he just kind of has a lot on his plate with his family, and his schoolwork, and he’s a bit more focused on his academic and professional future than he is, right now, in like relationships.   he’s like low-key bi and he doesn’t really broadcast anything about it, he just knows that it’s kind of a thing that’s a part of him, and it kind of is what it is. & so he’s open to relationships with boys or girls, it’s just very back in his mind right now. if he meets someone? that’s cool. if he doesn’t until he’s older? also fine. 

he’s very studious but kind of uses weed and/or alcohol to relax/rewind (like a lot of ska.m characters) and so a lot of the week he makes sure his stuff is as complete as it can be, so he can do things on the weekend like drink and hang out with the boys. 

he’s big into reading, though maybe not as much as he used to, and he’s big into music, not like that’s some weird quirk, but he likes getting CDs and listening to them as opposed to like streaming, but he does use like spotify cause who’s going to use a walkman in 2019. but whenever new music he likes come out he tries to buy the albums on CD to listen to when he’s working on homework, when he’s reading, etc. whenever he’s at home, in his room, he has something playing, even if it’s just quiet in the background, but he rarely uses like spotify and stuff unless he’s walking around school, walking to and from school/the bus. 

he likes music in english so he can improve his english, but he does listen to a decent amount of music in french, as well.  sad indie music? yes. he definitely has THIS saved on his spotify for when he’s not at home

some of his fave bands/artists: the 197.5, sufj.an stev.ens, ar.ctic monk.eys, sleepi.ng at last, cœu.r de pi.rate, bon i.ver, the xx, like his music taste isn’t Super obscure, but he likes songs, he’s not a huge fan of like rap or more of that kind of stuff more because he can’t really sing along with it as well, and he’s not really one to sing along to songs at parties or like when hes out places, but he’ll kind of sing along when he’s alone listening to stuff. 

he’s pretty open and joking and stuff around friends but he can be a bit quiet and sort of passive around people he doesn’t know as well, and he’s very focused in class, at least when there’s teaching going on, when there’s group work, he’s much more talkative and if he’s friends with who he’s working with, then he can get a bit distracted.  his schoolwork is pretty top priority so he’s the most likely of the boys (of him, basile, lucas, yann) probably to, if they’re hanging out saying that they’re going to do homework, to say that they should get back on track and work on their work, and stop getting distracted. 

but also he knows where to get decent quality weed, so if the boys want to get some weed, then they have to finish their homework. 

[orleans-jester]

The Interview

Pierre was relishing this. He was getting his face touched up by some cute make up girl, powdered down so that he wouldn’t look so glowy on the news. He finally had clothes that fit him for the occasion. His hair wasn’t the mane but he was working with what he had. Notes memorized. Knew what he was going to say. Pretty lady on the chair across from him conducting the interview, her skirt riding up ever so slightly to show long, tanned legs. He was in a good place right now. At least, the best it had been for a while. This was his ticket to getting some semblance of life back. He had to make it count.

“And three - two -” The camera man pointed towards Pierre and the woman, and she started off the talking.

“Joining us now is Ronno Buckthorne, the formerly missing boy who was last seen during this - a fight that was caught and spread all over social media with two of the Laveau siblings.” Pause to show some of the video. Pierre cringed appropriately. “Now - the big question that everyone has wanted to know - where have you been, and honestly, how are you dealing so well?”

Pierre laughed, hand rubbing at his chin. When he was allowed internet access, he was forced to watch a bunch of videos of Ronno to gather up how he acted. Try to get some of his mannerisms. He was full on in method actor mode.

“Well thanks for having me, first of all. And uhh -  honestly, it’s a really long story that actually goes back - wow, a couple of months now? To the beginning of the summer. Feels kinda wrong to just jump into the end but if that’s what everyone wants to know - I’ve been spending a lot of my time with the Laveaus. That day that you showed - yeah, it was one of the roughest that I’ve been through and things did get harder for a while. But man, it was needed. They helped me to get better at a time when I really needed it.”

“That’s - that’s bringing out a lot more questions that I didn’t know that I had,” The anchor said with a nervous little laugh. “But if you want to start at the beginning, that’s where it should start. What would you say was the beginning of this - ongoing feud with the Laveau family?”

“I’ve known the Renaults for years. Knowing is a big word but you know how New Orleans can be. Neighborhood birthday parties and all of that, they came to a couple of mine despite being a couple of years younger,” Pierre remembered them. Knew all along that they were only invited because they were rich as fuck and were sure to give good presents. He went to socialize. Agnes would go to be nice, but he doubted that any of them had made an impression on her. Just another charity gig to his sister. “Maddy and I reconnected during the late Summer at Hogfest and - well, this is where I don’t look like such a good dude. I started getting into the charity thing to try to get close to her. Skeeze move, I know.”

“And that was the only reason you started to volunteer?”

“Yeah. At first, at least. I actually really like it, might continue it, but that’s not what I’m here to talk about. Yeah, I liked that girl. Who wouldn’t? She’s smart, she’s cute, I know I wasn’t the only one into her. We started talking and we came to an arrangement where I would help her to paint her room and she’d sign for my volunteer hours. Win win, you know? Get to be with a pretty girl in her room. Course she wouldn’t give me the time of day, but looking back on all of the problems that I had and how I was approaching things, man, I wouldn’t either. Hindsight, ya get me?”

“So nothing happened between you and Mrs Bellerose?”

“Not a thing. Though what I thought was going to be alone time never was. Her twin brother, Bastien who was living in the house with them at the time, Chip Laveau - they were her inner circle, always coming through. Pierre Renault even kicked my ass once, we had to go to the hospital and get stitches and I had a minor concussion, it was rough. So that’s how I got to know those three anyway. Maddy’s protectors.”

Okay, he couldn’t help himself with that one. But there were only a few people who knew the truth. Who was gonna contest it coming from Ronno’s mouth.

“And that is how you first encountered Chip Laveau?”

“Yeah, he wasn’t happy that I was there. They’ve got history, but kept on talking. She’d tell me about it, we were friends at the time. But then school started and - well, things got really sad there for a while. Real upsetting.”

“You’re talking about the incident where she was left on the road?”

“Not just that. The way that Mrs Renault just picked up Bastien and Maddy and put them in the hospital like that? That was some real messed up crap. But I was there right after. When she came back with Maddy. I helped put her into bed. I felt a closeness with her - which brought out a lot of the jealous stuff for Bastien when she clearly chose him over ... well, me.”

“Did you feel like you had a right to her?” The newswoman asked.

Pierre thought about it for a minute. The question wasn’t entirely expected. “I’ll be honest with you guys. I haven’t admitted this to anyone except for Chip who really helped me to get through it, but I was hooked on the roids. Big time.  I was juicing hardcore. The natural bits of jealousy? It turned me into a [bleep] monster. Trying to walk around all big [bleep] energy when nah, that was affecting me in a lot of ways. It made me focused on the perfect girl that I could never have and yeah, it made me mad enough to start to [bleep]-talk the lucky guys who got to have her. Bastien’s always been a cool dude to me even if he was keeping an eye on me. Green-eyed monster came out and I said some messed up things and if I get lucky enough to see him sometime, I’m going to give him a huge apology for all of the nastiness. He didn’t deserve any of that. My choices were my own, yeah, I’m not going to blame it entirely on the roids but it just amplified everything I was going through.”

“Have you spoken to Mr or Mrs Bellerose since the day that you were - is taken the right word for this?”

“I’d say it was taken in the way that people who care about you take you to rehab, you know?” He said crossing one leg over the other. “Which is what Chip did essentially. Gave me another chance. Sweat it all off, come to terms with myself. But no - no, I haven’t spoken to the couple in months. I know I blew it, and even though it still hurts a bit, good for them. The wedding looked great. It’s fantastic to see that he really does take such good care of her. It’s written all over their faces. Nothing says time to move on than a wedding, am I right?”

“You said come to terms with yourself? What exactly does that mean? What happened that caused that big fight?”

“Oh, the big fight was because of that jealousy. Anyone that had anything to do with Maddy, I instantly just hated. Dangle a steak in front of a beast, that’s what it was like back then. So obviously her ex, and her ex’s twin brother. I seriously thought that I could best them, which looking back, [bleep bleep] I was a [bleep] idiot. I deserved what I got in that parking lot. But after? Chip and I grew to be good friends, I met his wives, I might even babysit for their kids one day, that’s how tight we are now. I let the drugs wear off, I found that there’s more to life than exercise and - alright, another exclusive for you, New Orleans,” He’d look over at the camera. “I’m hopelessly bi-sexual. I wasn’t just jealous of Bastien, I was jealous for Maddy too. Bastien is - he’s a gorgeous speciman, man. And Dale, that’s part of the reason I was getting eager to fight. Just the chance to get close.”

“You’re - what?” They hadn’t gone over this in the mock interview. And now this was on the air.

“Oh, yeah, for sure. Repressed it for a long time. Pierre Renault was one of my first crushes, that’s probably why I took to Maddy so hard.” Again, he couldn’t help himself. He tried not to look smug. “And, y’know, a lot of [bleep] goes around about the Laveaus but one thing that can always be admired about them is that they’re true to who they are, and they taught me a good lesson about that. So this is my proclamation. The old Ronno? I want you all to think of him as gone. All of that anger, all of that nasty  business, this whole bully jock thing, I’m done with putting up fronts. It’s time to grow up.”

“So there’s really no anger, no animosity?”

“I can’t speak about what they feel for me. I’m not expecting forgiveness or anything. I’ve been a real - a real tool. I just hope one day we can all talk about it, move on, but if that doesn’t happen...” He forced a casual shrug. “I only know what’s next for me, not what anybody else is thinking about. I mean, I want to thank Chip and Dale a hundred times more for putting up with me for so long. Seriously, I was acting an idiot.”

“That’s - interesting. What I’m sure a lot of us wouldn’t give to have caught sight of what happened at the Laveau house. So what is next for you then, Ronno?”

“Well, if Maddy can change her name and become a new person, just as amazing but new, then maybe I can give it a shot. I think I’m going to start going by my middle name, Leo. That sounds a lot cooler than Ronno. I’m just planning on going back to school, finishing out the year. Catch up on what I missed out. I’m quitting the football team, no doubt about that, consider this my resignation coach, I’m not getting caught up in all of the competition because that’s what made me so [bleep] up in the first place. I’m going to hang out with some of my friends, maybe make some new ones and just - live, man. Just live. Nothing much more than that.”

“Wow. Well - thank you for joining us Mr Buckthorne. Or Leo, as you said. This has been a very fascinating insight to what happened that I don’t think people were expecting.”

“No doubt. Preash you having me on here. Have a lovely day yourself.”

[worrentigre]

Memorial for a Fallen Hero

“Word has reached my ears that the members of the Destroyer's Dawn group is holding a memorial service for those among them who have died in the battle to free Ala Mhigo from Garlean control.  Specifically for Hogan Krieger, the crazy old monk among the group. Being tied up as I was, I was more surprised I made it in time.  Well... I was late, but better than never, right?  Elder Stream has already started speaking by the time I join them:”

Singing Stream: "---gone through be amongst the worst of it. Da struggle's we had, the up's and downs, the injuries, the worries and fears that befell us all. But we were able to stand tall and strong, to push foreword and guide our way to victory. Though brethren's and sisters may lie still upon the ground, we stand here ta'day ta' honor them. Ta grace upon them gratitude and promises of remembrance for all they 'ave done fer us." She would lightly smile to them all, taking a deep breath. "Without every last one of ye all ta' be 'ere. Without every last one of yer efforts, this day wouldn't 'ave been made. so I wish ta' 'ear upon thine words; if'in any of ye desire ta' give thine gratitude and respect, do come and step forth and let all be 'eard. Matter's not what god ye serve, fer everyone shared in the struggle in the end."

Riku Nonokune steps forward quietly and nods up to Stream. The lalafell then turns and looks to those gathered. He seems to chew on his silence for a moment that may last too long before he breaths out, "Hogan was an idiot. He was loud. Obnoxious. And, for the life of my me and despite my brilliance, I haven' the foggiest of what a 'dwarf' is." He adjusts himself a bit, "That being said... Hogan fought not for the dirt and rocks we stand upon. He fought for those he saw as friends and family. He fought for them. He..." The lalafell's ears wiggle as he stares a moment... then he lowers his hood over his eyes, "...he died for them." He shrugs his shoulders, "All that is left of Hogan is his annoying laugh and larger than life voice bellowing around in the belfries of my memory...and...there they shall echo to my dismay...and to my comfort. He will not be forgotten."

Soon, emotions begin to overtake some of the people around. 

Achillies Froste would swallow, the tear finally running down his cheek as he looked up. The man looked like he was about to legitmately break down into tears. Angeal Vespyn peered up slightly to Achillies, raising his hand to grasp his gently. Achillies looks up the armored man and nodded, taking a heavy sniffle. Angeal nods. Mayu Cloudwalker pauses in the rubbing over her prayer beads as she looks to Riku. Vivi Nocturne offers a moment of silence to Riku Nonokune. Lu'kan Viermos takes a few sharp breathes at Riku's words. He doesn't try to shunt the pain and his eyes go misty.

Riku Nonokune's mouth grimaces. From under his hood, tears can be seen. He gets out two gil coins and drops them on the ground, "Thal! God of Life and Death! I, Ririkune Nonokune, pay the Ferryman to bore Hogan, Fist of Rhalgr and hero of Ala Mhigo, to the Aetherstream."

Singing Stream in silence listens, watches, and respects allowing his moment and when he finished to pay Hogan's fee, Stream smiles and nods her head and looks upon everyone. "Who else be next?"

Angeal Vespyn approached where Stream stood, turning to face the group. He held up a hand, raising his finger but it soon lowered. He turned instead, grasping a banana out of his pouch and rested it upon the pedestal.

Singing Stream looks towards Angeal and watched what he did and smiled lightly as she closed her eyes a moment and nodded her head.

Achillies Froste would raise his head and nod, pulling out a small bushel of bananas from his satchel. A cane assisted limp forward and he would pass the armored man and set the bananas on the levinaxe. "Ooo-. Hooh-Ooh-EE!"

Angeal Vespyn quietly joins in, "..Oo."

Mayu Cloudwalker raises a brow in mostly confusion. She'd then continue to quietly move her fingers along her prayer beads.

Singing Stream would watch Froste who came up next and she couldn't help but chuckle and nod her head lightly. "He be certainly one ta' love those." she sincerely stated.

Achillies Froste would turn back around the others and force a smile. His face and eyes cherry sanguin as his hands trembled. "Th-that means...'Family. Forever....In Sasquatch..." Before finally breaking into tears and a full blown sob. It looked like the man had more to say; but he would shake his head and limp back into line instead. He stands next to Angeal once more, now leaned against the towering hunk of cloth and steel at his side. Angeal Vespyn shifted his footing to keep Achillies up.

Alexandyr Valcarde seems to be murmuring something to himself.

Von Sayrillont raised a eyebrow in suprise, before the reasoning why sets in, smiling softly as she shakes her head before moving forward, she rested a hand above the levin axe, grazing a hand along it as he placed a locket in the centre. "You are now reunited with your loved ones , Hogan, Brother... may you forever be able to keep her in your embrace in the path beyond." she spoke, keeping her head bowed for a few long moments before returning back to the crowd.

Lu'kan Viermos takes a deep breath and steps forward. He retrieves a scroll from his sash.  Lu'kan Viermos: "I didnae know 'im 'alf as well as others 'ere did... though I wish I 'ad. I did how'e'er watch 'ow 'e fought. It wasnae glamorous, but it did the tick. An' it was 'is own. I regret nae trainin' wiff 'im... but I make scroll containin' what I know of tha'"Lu'kan Viermos unwraps a scroll, a recreation of old manuals of Monk styles. "I'll 'fess I didnae do the artwork meself. My record, though it be imperfect will be a preservation for those who'd follow 'is ways, howe'er few that might be. This copy goes whit 'im tae laugh at. One tae be given tae the Temple tae preserve later." Lu'kan Viermos sets the scroll partway unrwapped down. He sniffs and takes a calming breath. "May Hogan rest in Rhalgr's Hall, whit the legends of old, the Masters o' the Way, an' the Heroes who'll follow after." Lu'kan Viermos puts his palm in his fist bows and says a prayer in old Ala Mhigan, this one for all to hear, before returning to his spot.

Alexandyr Valcarde takes a breath, and steps forward. "Ask not how he died... but how did he live?  Not what did he gain, but what did he give? These are the units to measure the worth, Of man as a man, regardless of birth. Not what was his church, nor what was his creed?  But had he befriended those truly in need? Was he ever ready, with words of good cheer, to bring back a smile or to banish a tear? Not what the news in the scrolls did they say... But how many were sorry when he passed away?"

Achillies Froste was still crying. Not just for Hogan; but actually the MANY people who died during this.

Singing Stream would bow her head lightly. "Hesitate not to speak thine words, kept not in silence and let all be heard." Stream kept a strong facade, though her eyes were watering. Her eyes scanned upon everyone to see who would step forth next. 

The words of mourning seemed to have affected the group even more. 

Ellianna Bellerose just tightened her grip on her right arm, her bangs in her face as she glances away from the group. Head still bowed.  Mayu Cloudwalker would bow her head and quietly speak under her breath. Achillies Froste shook his head. Von Sayrillont: "They all were good people, good fighters, friends, family.... they will never be forgotten."  Angeal Vespyn: "..Forever remembered.."  Alexandyr Valcarde puts a hand on Ellianna's shoulder and gives a squeeze to attempt a bit of comfort.  Lu'kan Viermos has his head down, tears running down his face. "They'll be our new Heroes afore long... they deserved tae see the fruit of their labors... but maybe they be lookin' on it already."  Ellianna Bellerose would bring her hand up, placing it on the back of Alexander's as she glanced over to him with a bit of a forced smile, the lines of water from her tears on her cheek, eyes a bit red as she nods to him  Worren Tigre, however, remains silent and stoic.

Then, he finally decides to step forward after seeing no one else moving up. "Ala Mhigo is free. We should not mourn the passing of our comrades, but celebrate what they did in life. During my life in combat, everyone who has fallen around me have died for nothing. Those who were close to me like family, even. Died to hubris. Cowardice. Treachery, even. But now, in my life, I can finally say that there are people who's deaths in combat were not in vain, and are meaningful. I'm only sad that Hogan and I never got a chance to wrestle those bears..." He gives a smile and a chuckle, and moves back.

Achillies Froste chuckled at Worren's last comment through his tears.

Angeal Vespyn: "..Perhaps, in a manner of speaking, he and the others flames will be used to lead the path like the meteor did long ago."

Singing Stream would smile closed her eyes as Worren spoke taking in his words and smilely gently. "Well spoken, Brethren." she stated and looked upon everyone else. "Be there any more words ta' share?"

Achillies Froste: "Friend Hogan...and others gave it all. So we can go back t' our lives..." Mayu Cloudwalker simply continues to quietly speak her prayer as she touches her prayer beads. Vivi Nocturne simply shakes his head and wipes his eyes. Riku Nonokune nods. Achillies Froste: "Dumb like stone, Strong like Sasquatch...Love like a brother." Alexandyr Valcarde: "And look not over our shoulders, lest we be blinded by the light behind us; let it instead illuminate the path forward.

Singing Stream would step forth closer to the group. "Rhalgr and the Twelve blesses us all, the living or the dead. Mourn in manners appropriate to ye all, but stay not in the pit of darkness that mourning can trap thy soul into. Our Brethren and Sisters fallen may not be physically 'ere with us, but they stay inside each of us, within our very hearts. Never ta' be forgotten." Stream would hold out her hand and a golden orb would form and levitate as it suddenly bursted into a large heavenly golden orb that erupted to shower all within the room with a warm radiance, there would be a revitalized feeling swelling within all. "Blessed be unto thine breath, blessed be unto thine soul. Fer we may all march forth into the new horizon with our heads 'eld 'igh and back straight. For the sacrifices left not in vain we build forth a new future, a future given ta' us by those fallen, but never forgotten." she would smile at everyone. "Many thanks to ye all, from the bottom of mine heart." Upon her cheeks tears would stream down.

Riku Nonokune: "Ala Mhigo and Doma are free... but the war is far from over. There are still other provinces under Garlean control. There are still battles to be fought. We've own Ala Mhigo. Now we must rebuild...and continue to fight for what we have gained."

Lu'kan Viermos: "They've set the fires tae light our way. Does us nae good if we stay in place overlong."

Vivi Nocturne: "Then let thier memory spur us on to complete this mission."

Everyone takes a moment of silence.

Riku Nonokune nods to Singing Stream. "Thank you for setting this up." Singing Stream would look down at Riku and she would nod. "Aye, I couldn't fathom the thought of letting my Brethens and Sisters to lay without a final farewell. I thank thee all for coming. It be quite meaningful." Riku Nonokune nods. Lu'kan Viermos adds, "Aye, I'm glad tha' we 'ah a moment tae send 'em off."

Von Sayrillont: "I think we all needed this, thank you Elder Stream... Vivi Nocturne bows courteously to Singing Stream. Stream smiles at Von Sayrillont in return.

Singing Stream: "Ye all may feel free to take upon thine 'omes, or stay further, I will not force thee ta' if'in ye don't desire ta'. I shall stay if'in ye desiring ta' speak more personally."

|”I never did like funerals or memorial services.  But, this one was worth it.  The old man went out fighting, just like he wanted, and Ala Mhigo is free. Too bad he's not able to see the fruits of his labor.  I'd be lying if I said I believed that he didn't deserve this.  He's lived a long life and went out with a hero's death. Like his booming voice and boisterous personality, he went out with a bang and not a whimper. And that, I can only admire. I've had many people I've called brother and sister, served with them in arms for years, only to see them die for nothing. My entire unit in the Brass Blades wiped out due to jealousy and treachery. Airka as well... I don't even want to think of the circumstances of her passing.  However, I will remain retired from active combat duty, but this has given me a small measure of hope that there are still things worth dying for out there. Cheers to you old man. May you forever grapple with Ivon Couerlfist and sit with Rhalgr in the life stream.”

*As Worren finally leaves Rhalgr's Reach, he pulls out a folded letter from one of the folds of his cyclas.  He must have read this a hundred times already, but it does not seem to get easier as his mood instantly sours once again. Showing real emotion for the first time that day by frowning deeply, he forgoes heading back to Thanalan, and instead decides to train once more on the boulders and golems around the Fringes.*

@onyamitnu