#the one downside is the tiny hair bits that shit gets everywhere

[lemondoddle]

Ough nothin quite like cutting your own hair in your dimly lit bedroom with craft scissors

[velvet-roads]

What Happens In Vegas: Chapter 2

Chapter 1:

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1565

Music: 22 Faces- Periphery/ Prelude 12/21- AFI

          It was monumentally disturbing to you how easy Cowboy thought it would be to catch his prey. The sad truth was, in Las Vegas it really wasn’t that hard. It wasn’t called ‘Sin City’ for shits and giggles. The place is just as dangerous as it is fun.

          Now that the vamp was dead, it was time to get out of Dodge. You pulled a black bandanna out of your bag and wrapped up your knife. It was best not to get blood all over everything. Then you went into the small bathroom to clean yourself up. Thank God you weren’t wearing much, it made wiping off noticeable blood that much easier. Once you were clean-ish and had removed your fingerprints off of any possible surfaces you could have touched without thinking, it was time to slip out quietly.  

          You pulled a nondescript, oversized, black, Las Vegas novelty zip up out of your bag and threw it on. Flipping up the hood, you exited the darkroom, keeping your head down. Vegas had cameras and video EVERYWHERE. Even when you had made it into the elevator, you still kept your eyes glued to the floor. You didn’t have the aggressive oaf to block you now.

          Several more people ended up joining you on your little ride down to the lobby. Though it was now after 2 in the morning, the entrance hall was still crowded; as were the streets. You felt so suspicious never looking up from the ground, cloaked in your hoodie with your fishnets and converse standing out from underneath. Fortunately though, you were not even close to the most disreputable looking thing in a two mile radius.        

          After walking a couple blocks, you discreetly left your jacket on a fire hydrant. Your outfit wasn’t that crazy for down town at 2 in the morning. You once saw a drag queen dressed as the little mermaid. Shell bra with fake boobs and all.

          The closest hotel to you now was the Bellagio, so you popped inside to buy a new hoodie. Granted it was warm enough in Vegas that you didn’t need a jacket but to you it wasn’t fun to be traipsing around the streets in so little. Plus, you were in a hurry before and weren’t sure you got all visible blood spatter off of you.

          There was no doubt in your mind that Cowboy was going to be found soon. Once the body was discovered there was most definitely going to be an investigation of some sort. That was your main reason for going in and getting a new sweatshirt. You stopped in the bathroom to remove your fishnets, found a drunk girl with the same color hair as you, who was willing to take a hundred bucks to change outfits with you, then you walked through the hotel and came out of the guest check-in entrance wearing a slutty blue dress. This way, even if the cops see you on the cameras, you no longer have that specific outfit.

          Then a thought occurred to you, Cowboy had friends. You were so concerned about not getting caught by the police that you hadn’t even thought of the other vampires yet. It was a good thing you had work in town because now you had to stay and finish off the rest of the fangs. However, all that excitement was going to have to wait at least a few hours because you needed to sleep.  

          Grabbing an Uber, you headed off the strip to a small campground thirty minutes out. It was a funny place. C.C Shooting Park was an RV park and a shooting range. It was nice to have a place to shoot a few if you needed the stress relief.  

          Your way of living, when it came to hunting, was a contrast to the general hunter population. Not including the honest wage, most hunters lived a life of fast food and cheap motels. Since death was inevitable in this line of work, you refused to let the last place to lay your head be a sketchy mattress. In place of a crappy motel, you lived in a van. Now that sounds very hippie/homeless but your van is not the gutter picture that most people would think of. There is no half naked woman on the side riding some sort of mythical creature.

          You had a love of vintage cars so you lived in a purple and off-white VW camper van. The little shack on wheels had everything you would ever need; a full-size bed in the back with storage underneath, one side with enough counter space to have a small stove and a little sink, a tiny table with a few well-placed power outlets for your laptop or phone charger etc., and storage space galore. Seriously, there was storage everywhere. The space was small but extremely cozy. The only downside to the van life was not having your own bathroom. However, campground restrooms weren’t too bad, nine times out of ten.

         Life in your violet and cream camper wasn’t too shabby. If you wanted to go to the beach or camp in the rain forests of the Pacific Northwest, you could. Vanning it in hot as hell Vegas was definitely not your favorite. Luckily, one small fan, open windows and in some cases a dehumidifier worked wonders in quickly cooling the small space.

          You had the Uber driver drop you off at the entrance. It was going to be a little bit of a hike to your home but that was OK. It was secluded, quiet, and fairly safe. Walking through the dusty dead grass with nothing but the sound of the earth under your feet was cathartic. The stark silence in contrast to the club thumping you worked in was nice.

           Under the light of the half-moon you saw your little amethyst and ivory home, and you swore you could hear your bed calling you. As you unlocked and opened the door, you were greeted with a small gust of heat mixed with the scent of a cedar-wood and bourbon candle. That was another nice thing about a small space, it took no effort to make it smell nice. Inversely the same thing could be said about it being, less than fresh.

            Crawling inside, you promptly shut the doors and opened the sunroof to air out the stuffy space. Van life wasn’t for everyone. You had to enjoy nesting. That meant being cozy and in some cases cramped. All around you was beautiful wood paneling; the floor, counters, cabinets and walls. Most of your furniture covers were black, easy to re dye or didn’t show staining. For example, no one would know that you spilled red wine on your bed or that you had gotten makeup on your pillow.

           Even though you really didn’t want to, you had to take a shower. There was no doubt in your mind that you had missed some of the vamp blood on your quick cleanup, and it was very possibly in your hair. Under your bed was your clothing storage, dance wear, daily wear, and lounge. Each had their own drawer. You pulled out a black tank with a sassy saying (I put the fun in funeral), a pair of black shorts,  and a pair of flip-flops for the shower. Another random drawer held the shower essentials and a rather large bag of quarters. Most decent camping bathrooms required quarters for hot water. So, between that and the need to do laundry you always had a ton. The last thing you grabbed was the knife and the bandanna out of your bag. You figured that you might as well clean them too. A good hot shower after a hunt always felt amazing, both tension and excess vamp blood, going down the drain.  

           Once clean and refreshed the realization of how exhausted you were officially set in. Gathering up your things, you headed back to your van. You chuckled to yourself as you walked past the mirrors in the bathroom. Before your shower you looked like something out of a crazy 80s music video. Now it was just you, simple and plain you.  

          While your body was excited for sleep, your brain had other plans. That night/early morning, you dreamt about Cowboy’s friends and what they were going to want to do to you. Nightmares came with the territory and you were more than used to dealing with them but sometimes it would be nice to wake up from a nightmare in the arms of a great man. However, falling in love and keeping them alive was not something that was possible in this life. Not to mention, most normal guys tend to go running for the hills when they found out about your job and life. Rejection is one thing, but sending them running and screaming is something else.  

          As you laid in bed, you thought more about what your fictional Mr. wonderful would be like. Physically, Cowboy actually came pretty close. You liked a man who was masculine, a man who could handle himself. Most importantly, he had to be able to handle you.  

          Gripping your pillow tight, for the first time in a long time, you dreamt of your perfect man. A man you would never have.          

[operationrainfall]

Title TINY METAL: Full Metal Rumble Developer Area 35 Publisher Area 34 Release Date July 11th, 2019 Genre Strategy Platform PC, Nintendo Switch Age Rating T for Teen – Fantasy Violence, Language Official Website

I should start this by mentioning how utterly excited I was by the prospect of the first TINY METAL. When I first saw it at PAX, and realized this was a true spiritual successor to a series I had long loved, Advance Wars, I was stoked. Even though I didn’t review the first game, I did play through it, and while not perfect, I felt it was a great start. So the sequel held a good amount of interest for me. Would this be a step up from the original, cementing itself as the successor to Advance Wars? The quick answer is no, but the long answer is it’s complicated. So join me as I address what TINY METAL: Full Metal Rumble did right, and what it did wrong.

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Full Metal Rumble seemingly takes place not long after the events of the first TINY METAL. I hedge with “seemingly” since I honestly barely remember the plot from the first game, other than something about lost technology and an evil mind-controlling clown. Events start with Nathan hunting the remnants of the Dinoldan army, which are apparently AI controlled puppets, despite looking mostly human. The sci fi nerd in me wished they had some distinctive robot trait if they were a drone army, but alas the only thing that identifies them as different are their glowing eyes, which made me think more mutant than robot. Putting that tangent aside, the story is rarely the most important part of a strategy game like this, but I prefer if there’s a solid effort made. Sure, Advance Wars wasn’t known for a brilliant plot, but it did have very eclectic characters with distinct personalities. The same goes for WarGroove, which had some really colorful personalities and a solid, albeit formulaic, plot. Sadly, none of those traits are in TINY METAL: Full Metal Rumble. There’s some subplot about Wolfram hunting for her supposedly dead brother Ragnar, some nonsense about nanomachines and mutterings about a greater intelligence at work, but if so, it was never revealed in the game. So if you were hoping for some grand plot for this sequel, put that hope aside. It’s not utterly horrible, there’s some cool ideas, they just never coalesce in a meaningful way.

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Sadly, the same can be said for the writing in this TINY METAL sequel. They make an effort at relevant banter and dialogue, but at best it came across like a poorly written anime. Cause and effect are completely divorced and random things happen that only the characters understand. No character gets any significant development, and some barely show up, like Tsukumo. There were at least two separate instances where I thought I knew exactly what was happening, and then the plot pulls a complete 360, or worse, seems to totally disregard important developments. A good example is one seemingly heinous betrayal that turns out to be a nothing burger. I know I said most people don’t play this genre for the story, and while that’s largely true, I can’t help but expecting a better written adventure than this. But now that I’ve gotten that out of my system, let’s move onto the meat of the game, which is how TINY METAL: Full Metal Rumble actually plays.

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The best thing the original TINY METAL had going for it was how it emulated the mechanics from Advance Wars. This one does a good job, and actually adds some new stuff to the mix. There are new units, such as the Archelon, which is essentially an APC with a machine gun, or the Viper, a mobile anti-artillery that can move and attack in the same turn. Some of my favorite new units were from the Mecha class, which were all essentially humanoid robots of mass destruction. Think a walking tank, and you have the right idea. They’re great since they can traverse environmental hazards Metals cannot, such as mountains, even though they aren’t quite as powerful. Besides the new units, there are also some new mechanics. One good example are the Commander units. Not to be mistaken with Hero units, which are slightly upgraded versions of normal units you can deploy, Commander units take a page directly from WarGroove. These are massively powerful units with one downside – if they die, you lose the mission and have to start over. Had I not seen it done first in another game, I probably would have been more impressed, but that doesn’t mean these units aren’t useful. One cool distinction is that Commander units can be various types, depending on where you are in the story. An example is how Wolfram pilots a Blitz Mecha in one mission and a Gallant Mecha in others. They are easily the best units in the entire game, and I felt they lent a bit of extra spice to the mix. Commanders even have special abilities you can use after you’ve filled up your meter by dealing or taking enough damage, such as increasing the move distance or attack power for your units for a turn. Unfortunately, I still can’t shake the similarity to recent games in the genre.

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One improvement to the combat is now whenever you build a new unit, you can easily see what they’re most and least effective against. That dispels one of my biggest complaints from the first game, that it’s not super clear which units work best to counter certain threats. They even have a little window that appears when you are selecting a unit to clarify what they can attack. My primary complaint is the game never tells you this, and I literally found out when I was more than two thirds done with the game. That said, there are many other tutorials in the first few missions, and while informative, they tend to drag on a bit long, especially for fans returning to the series. But if you ever get too lost, there’s a handy Metalpedia that gives a brief rundown for what various units do. I just wish I could select a unit on the map and bring up that same description. You can’t even pause the game to see the map, which was a big letdown. I know there’s Fog of War everywhere in TINY METAL, but I should be able to see units once I’ve dispersed them.

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Another change is that you actually have to keep track of your ammo and fuel reserves for all mechanical units. I thought I wouldn’t like this feature, but I actually really grew to appreciate it. It made my moves more important, and added a new layer of strategy. The AI for enemy units in Full Metal Rumble also seems a bit better. It uses Focus Fire MUCH more often, surrounding you to deal more damage, but it also does stupid shit like having Infantry attack Gunships, which almost always results in Infantry being massacred. I also noticed that my AI opponents rarely used their own abilities and seemed to shy away from attacking my Commander units. For reference, I did play the game on Normal, so maybe it’s not as incompetent on harder difficulties. Just don’t make the mistake of taking it entirely for granted, cause the Dinoldan army is more than capable of kicking your ass if you’re not treating it like a real threat.

More Metal on Page 2 ->

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Most missions in the game can be beaten one of two ways – either kill every enemy unit or take their HQ. I usually preferred to go for their HQ, since on many missions your opponent has factories and airports that can continually build new units. However, there are some missions where they mix things up. Some missions you have to survive for a set number of days, inflict X amount of damage to enemy finances, or kill a powerful VIP unit. Sometimes you won’t have any way to produce more units, and have to kill all your foes on the map. There are also some missions that have optional objectives, but they aren’t required to win. They just offer an alternate path to victory. Overall, the combat in the game is the highlight, but it’s not without its problems. One is that despite the variety I just mentioned and the combat being well-balanced, the flow of the game feels incredibly repetitive. I also wish selecting a unit for attack would give a preview of how much damage I might take, instead of just how much I will dish out and critical chance percentage. That said, I do like how the pause screen displays your Commander’s abilities and proficiency. It’s helpful knowing Wolfram’s infantry is more powerful, or that all of Tsukumo’s units deal more damage, but cost more money to build.

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  On the aesthetic design portion of the game, it’s a bit of a mixed bag. The music is very muted and unremarkable, but the art is top notch for the design. All the Commanders look great, and a new one in particular I was rather fond of, Nora, has crazy orange hair, hates talking with people and pilots the new Mecha units with ease. There’s some really cool cinematics that occur at various points throughout the story, and they look great, though for the life of me I don’t understand why they have no sound. Unfortunately, the level design is pretty lackluster, with the same colors and layout from mission to mission, with minor variations like desert and snow stages. Hell, there’s not even weather effects, which would have gone a long way to impressing me. There’s also some weird graphical glitches like overlap and layers not displaying all at once. Oh, and though the music isn’t great, the sound effects highlight the battles nicely. The boom and ratatat of cannon fire and machine guns are music to my ears, even if the random snippets units say whenever they’re selected gets old.

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I hate to return to the writing of the game, but I feel it’s necessary. The writing is, sadly, incredibly vanilla, and unfortunately it has plenty of grammar mistakes. The way the text displays at times is also odd. Sometimes it doesn’t fit well or even goes outside the text boxes. Worse is that I don’t care about most of the characters or the plot. It all just felt really formulaic and uninspired, at least to me. And even after playing the game for 27 hours to beat Full Metal Rumble, I honestly have no real idea about the motivation for the enemy forces at all. I kept expecting some sinister force to reveal itself as the mastermind, much like in the first game, but it never happens. In it’s place, we’re left with faceless, emotionless AI puppets, and that’s truly disappointing.

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Now let’s move onto the part of reviews I hate, which is talking about glitches and quirks. There are several I encountered in my time with TINY METAL: Full Metal Rumble. It’s possible they’re isolated to the Switch version I played, but on the off chance they aren’t, I figured I should mention them as a PSA. One of the less problematic ones occurred with the new autopilot feature. As you progress from mission to mission, you move a plane around the world map. You can select autopilot to automatically move to the next stage, and that’s great. What’s less great is once I tried it and instead chose not to enter the next level, and suddenly my plane started flying around in circles. Another quirk is that after you supply a unit with more fuel and ammo, if you hover your cursor over it, the unit shows as still empty. But if you move the cursor and come back, it instead shows as refilled. One time I attacked a unit, and instead of going to the regular battle animation, that unit just exploded on the map. Another time in Skirmish, I was moving around and got ambushed by a hidden enemy. Instead of just stopping my progress, like it should have, my unit was dealt damage without any accompanying combat animation. A more prevalent problem is the blurring visual effect that happens quite often, including whenever you instigate a battle. But easily the worst glitch I encountered is the following: on multiple occasions, easily more than a dozen, I selected an attack target and initiated my attack, and instead my unit ended their turn. In a game where every move is key to victory, that’s a giant problem. And believe it or not, those weren’t all the weird incidents I encountered, just the more noteworthy ones. I know TINY METAL: Full Metal Rumble has been updated a couple times since release, but these are all issues that need to be patched ASAP.

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In the end, It just didn’t feel like Area 35 tried anything that dramatic in this sequel, just more of the same with some minor upgrades, and taking ideas from games that did it better. TINY METAL was born in the shadow of Advance Wars, and sadly, Full Metal Rumble never steps out of that shadow. I know that sounds harsh, and much as it pains me to say, I don’t know how else the next game can improve without criticism. Because I honestly still like TINY METAL, I just expect much more from it. That said, for $14.99, you get a lot of game for your money. I spent almost 30 hours just on Story mode alone, and there’s a lot more to do, such as Skirmish, Multiplayer and many, many goodies you can unlock with in-game currency. There’s also labs you can find in Story mode to unlock optional side missions. And if you are a perfectionist, each mission has optional conditions you can achieve to get more points. If you’re a fan of strategy games, TINY METAL: Full Metal Rumble might still be worth a look. But if you’re a stickler and want a better adventure, there are far better options available right now.

[easyreview cat1title=”Overall” cat1detail=”” cat1rating=”3″]

Review Copy Provided by Publisher

REVIEW: TINY METAL: Full Metal Rumble Title TINY METAL: Full Metal Rumble

[ladykristianna]

Sleepers - Part 8

The story continues...

Today’s part is a bit longer than usual. Twice as long as I usually write! My writer’s juices were flowing. Nevermind, that sounds gross. How about “my muse was in town” or “I had a lot of decent ideas?” Either way, I was feeling it, so more to read today you guys. Enjoy.

This is a longer story that I have been writing in web serial style for funsies as a side project. It’s lightly based on a writing prompt I found on the /r/writingprompts subreddit. Two complete strangers, Jess and David, have awoken in a strange forest surrounded by sleeping people. None of the others will awaken, except when and ominous voice rings out among the trees, raising the others in a sort of trancelike state. Jess and David escape into the woods with more questions than answers. This story is part Lost, part The Walking Dead, part The Martian, with lots of other science-fiction bits thrown in.

Start from the beginning [Part 1] Read the previous chapter [Part 7]

Read more of my writing.

Sleepers - Part 8 (2508 word count)

JESS

It was dark, abysmally so, and my skin was crawling as if thousands of insects were crawling across. There was a thin sheen of sweat lining my forehead. A thin line of sweat dripped down the plane of my face towards my eyes. I tried to reach up to wipe it  away, but my arms were strapped down, as was the rest of my body. For a moment I struggled to free myself. I tried to strain my neck to turn my head or shift my legs but I couldn’t move. I stopped struggling, and tried to relax myself, but my body thrummed with tension. How did I get here? Where was here?

The darkness was violently interrupted with a bright violet tinted light. I shut my eyes and squinted them back open gradually to let them adjust. I couldn’t see anything except what was directly above me. Everything was a jumble of burred shapes. I heard the sharp hiss of pressurized air and then voices. A door? I abruptly closed my eyes. I didn’t want my captors to see me awake. I listened closely for any information that I could get from these people, except the voices were speaking in a language I didn’t understand. I inwardly groaned with frustration. They stopped talking and it was quiet for a few minutes.

Did they leave? Of course they didn’t because when I opened my eyes again there were three figures standing over me. I gasped. They looked like people, but off. They were too tall and too thin and their eyes too large with pupils that reminded me of a lizard or a cat. Their faces and skin looked similar enough to human, but they were completely hairless. The differences were enough to be off putting. But then anything would be off putting when you’re strapped immobile to a table with what were obviously aliens leaning over you.

Sometimes I don’t make the best decisions. I have been called irrational at times. I don’t think bursting out into nervous laughter at three aliens was the best decision. Of course I would get abducted by aliens the same day I lost my job. Of course. Because I have the best luck. They looked back and forth at each other, confusion evident in their catlike eyes. I guess confusion was a universal emotion. They conversed to each other in their lyrical speech, which really was quite interesting to listen to, in spite of the situation.

“So what’s next guys? Are you going to probe me? Experiment away! It’s not like my day could get any worse.” I cackled in my panic. “Of course aliens would abduct me because the universe can’t get enough of shitting on Jess!”

One of the aliens, I decided to call him (her, it?) Grey because of his grey eyes, was holding a tablet-like device that was emitting low tones and beeps. Probably diagnostics of some kind. Grey was legitimately smirking at me. Or what seemed to be smirking. Blue, who had brilliant ocean blue eyes, said something to him/her/it. All three of them looked down at me, obviously confused again. The last one, Green, turned and retrieved something. Clicking noises. More tones and beeps from the tablet device. More strange lyrical speech. Then a sting in the muscle of my upper arm. The world went dark again.

***

Making a fire was hard. I told my father this, and he laughed at me.

“Most things in life are hard, but you always get that sense of accomplishment when you finish something difficult. Especially if it’s something most people can’t do,” he said with a wink.

I worked at the bow drill for a long time until the blessing of a tendril of smoke emerged from the friction below. I let out a whoop of excitement. “I did it Dad!”

“Finish it up!” he smiled. “You’re not done yet, but you’re almost there.”

My father clapped me on the back as we watched the tiny fire burst into life before us. He pulled out a bag of marshmallows from his pack. I squealed with excitement because nothing can make a ten year old quite so happy as campfire toasted marshmallows. It was just me and my father out in the woods with nothing but our tent, the sunset, and sticky marshmallow fingers. I leaned against him and listened to his silly stories about someone he met at his work or his weird reimaginings of fairy tales. I drifted off to sleep on his shoulder, content and happy.

***

“Mom, you have to get up. You have work today.”

She was laying in bed almost as if she had melted into the mattress. Her eyes opened and she looked up at the ceiling, but it was as if she were seeing something else. Her eyes were glazed as if she were dead. She shifted onto her side, slow and lethargic and faced the wall ignoring me.

I shook her shoulder. “Mom, come on. I made you some scrambled eggs for breakfast. All you have to do is get up. You have to eat something.”

She didn’t move. She said nothing. “Okay. Um. I’m going to put your plate here on your nightstand, okay? I’m going to be late for school. Do you want me to call in for you at work?”

Nothing.

I let out a long sigh. “Bye, Mom. I’ll see you when I get home.”

I gathered up my textbooks and other school things and stuffed them into my backpack. I’d have to walk again. I couldn’t wait until I was sixteen and I could drive the car. It would definitely make things a lot easier for me.

The number to the department store where my mother worked was on a magnet on the refrigerator. I didn’t need it. I had the number memorized by now. I picked up the phone and dialed. “Can I talk to Robert please?”

I waited a moment. It wasn’t long before he picked up, “This is Robert speaking.”

I cleared my throat. “Hi Robert. This is Jess, Carolyn’s daughter.”

“Hello Jess. How is Carolyn doing?”

I searched for the right words. “She’s… sick again. She won’t be able to come in today.”

I heard a long sigh on the other end of the phone. “Jess, thanks for letting me know, but you can’t keep covering for her. You know that right? Tell your mother that we can’t keep doing this. This has happened too many times. I’m sorry, but she’s going to have to find some other employment. It’s a scramble every time this happens to find someone to cover her shift. I’m sorry, Jess.”

“Okay. Okay. Alright. I’ll let her know.”

“I’m sorry that-“ I hung up the phone before he could finish. I slung my backpack over my shoulder and walked out the front door.

***

Indiana Jones was on television that night. Raiders of the Last Ark. It was right at the beginning where Indy was escaping from the cave with the golden idol. My mother was sitting on the couch next to me holding a giant bowl of popcorn. Even though we’d seen the movie numerous times before, it was one of our traditions to watch it every time it came on tv and obnoxiously sing along with the theme music. The booby traps were  flying through the air, and I threw a handful of popcorn at her. “Popcorn booby trap!”

My mother grinned and threw some back at me. “This means war!” She was mid throw when the phone rang. “Ugh. I really need to get a cell phone. It would make life so much easier,” she said as she made her way to the dining room where our landline was.

I turned back to the tv. It was at the part where Indiana was pointing at the huge old book and explaining what the Ark of the Covenant was. There was a loud thump behind me. I turned around and saw my mother on the floor, the phone held limply in her hands and staring off into space at something I couldn’t see. I rushed over to her, the popcorn and Indiana Jones forgotten.

“Mom! What happened? Are you okay?”

She swallowed thickly. A sheen of tears formed in her eyes. “There’s been an accident. Your father…” My mother broke down and began to wail.

***

There were only three people working today. And it was busy. The other waitress Lydia had called in sick. Again. Honestly, she probably just had a hangover. Again. Lydia was part of the party crowd in our sad little town. When there wasn’t much to do, people did drugs, partied, or got out of Dodge. Unfortunately, I didn’t have the money for any of those things, so I just worked, and this was the crappiest job I’d ever had.

After my mother had passed away, I’d gone halfway across the country to live with some distant relation of my father’s in this tiny little podunk town in hicksville. The people spoke with southern drawls and talked about farming, country music, and beer a lot. It was the worst, but after a while I was able to get legally emancipated. Managing work and school was hard, but I graduated high school with honors, and now I was saving up to get out and go to a college an hour away.

The downside was I was stuck working at this stupid little hole in the wall diner because there weren’t any other options in this stupid town. How I wished there were other options. Joe, the owner, was barking out orders to me and Rodriguez. Rodriguez was the cook and was damn good at his job. For some reason he went only by his last name. I didn’t judge. I didn’t go by my given name either. He was a cool guy. Joe on the other hand was a greasy slime ball who put way too much hair gel in his hair and wore a cowboy hat everywhere, even when he was working. At least the cowboy hat gave me enough warning in my peripheral vision when he was coming, so I could move to anywhere else except where he was going to be. If I wasn’t careful, I’d get my ass pinched or he’d corner me and talk about his sexual prowess. It was disgusting. I knew Lydia had slept with him, and now he was working on me. Again, disgusting.

It was a Saturday morning, one of the busiest days of the week. I was inwardly cursing Lydia. Joe was mostly useless, so it was just me and Rodriguez really working the breakfast rush. My hair was pulled back in a ponytail, my apron was on, and I was ready to go. On the bright side, I was going to get more tips today with Lydia gone.

By the time the rush was over, I was tired out of my mind, but my apron was full of tips, so it was all good. The place had emptied out, and I was taking a break at one of the tables by the front window. Rodriguez was out back smoking. I nibbled at a grilled ham and cheese sandwich and watched a storm roll in. Suddenly Joe was sitting across from me.  Damn it to hell.

“Do you need something Joe? I’m taking my break.”

He reached out over the table and started running his finger up and down my arm. “No I don’t need anything. Can’t I just sit down with my prettiest waitress?” He grinned. I put down my sandwich and pulled my arm under the table. I tried not to shudder. Well, visibly anyway.

“Can you please stop doing that? Can I just eat my lunch please?” I stared down at the swirling green patterns on the table. Anything to avoid eye contact with Joe.

He ignored me. “Jessalyn,” he rolled the name off his tongue like oil. “That is such a pretty name for such a pretty girl. I don’t know why you go by Jess. Makes ya sound like a boy.” He lowered his voice to a lascivious growl. “And you are definitely not a boy.” His eyes raked up and down my front, and I could almost feel his sweaty fingers touching me.

I glanced out the window. The sky was getting darker outside with the coming storm. “Well, would you look at that!” I abruptly stood up and slammed my hands on the table. “It looks like it’s going to rain. I should probably go roll up my windows on my car!”

I made my way to go past him, but he reached out and yanked my arm. I stumbled and fell into his lap. “Now, I know your car is just fine,” he mumbled into my neck. I stiffened. His hand roamed up my thigh under my skirt.

“Let me go. Please.” I didn’t want to lose this job, but there were limits.

His fingers trailed in little circles along the inside of my leg. “Now, now, Jessalyn. No need to play hard to get. I’ve seen the way you look at me.” He trailed wet sloppy kisses my neck. In what dream world of his had I ever looked at him in anyway except a slimy greaseball? “So damn pretty,” he mumbled.

“I think you’ve got the wrong idea, Joe. Let me go.” This time I said it louder and with more conviction. “Please move your hand,” I added diplomatically. Damnit, I needed this job. Why couldn’t there be anywhere else to work in this godforsaken town?

He moved his hand, but didn’t let me go. Joe grasped the side of my head and roughly pulled my face down to meet his in the most disgusting kiss I’d ever experienced. In a knee-jerk reaction I pulled back and tipped the chair over. We both fell onto the floor, but not before Joe’s head met the edge of the table in a loud crack.

A river of blood flowed down from a gash in his forehead into his eye. Joe wasn't feeling quite so amorous now. “You little bitch,” he growled from his rightful place on the floor. “You’re fired. I wasted too much time on you. Get out.”

“You know what, Joe? You can’t fire me, because I quit. You are an asshole of the lowest kind. I’m tired of your harassment and disgusting advances. I wouldn’t sleep with you if you were the last man on Earth. I hope you die in a hole with only your chlamydia to keep you company. Fuck you.” I flashed him both my middle fingers and stormed out.

I slammed the back door, and stomped past a bewildered Rodriguez puffing on a cigarette on the steps. “Sorry dude. It’s just you and Joe now.” I half-heartedly waved to him and got into my car.

Just as it started to rain, I realized I had forgotten my sandwich. Damnit.

[To be continued...]

[moleofmetal]

 Gig Review: Jack Fest!

 https://www.facebook.com/events/1079665092154988/

Bands: Archives, Bereavement, Violent Relapse, Third Floor Incident, Defacer, Sonorous, Hopes Up High. Starting off as a just a standard gig for Archives, then evolved into a birthday gig for the organizer (and Violent Relapse guitarist) Jack then into a Mini-fest, as Jack just kept adding more and more bands to the bill. 

But with a chaotic start-up like that, there was going to have some adverse effect on the show. First of all the arranged sound guy decided to not be “the sound guy” at the gig as he already was too drunk! Off to a flying start then.... 

So it was up to some members of the early bands to try and figure out how all this sound equipment worked. Once everything was plugged in and ready to go, it was starting quite a bit later than "advertised".

Up first for the night is Hopes Up High, their deceptive “Hardcore” logo aside. They normally play a pop punk sound, that is always popular with the teeny-boppers of the scene but this time they were presumably missing their drummer. So They were a 3-piece acoustic team for this gig.  A good thing for bands to do, although might not work everywhere, or for every style of music (I Don’t expect acoustic death metal to take off, but you ever know.) but if your music is translatable, having a kind of backup plan if a member or two is missing (See also: Iron Seawolf in my review). This can only help in songwriting and musical growth, as well as it still gets your name out there and noticed. 

They played a few cover tunes, and as well as versions of their own songs complete with the irritating imitation American accent. Despite the singer/bassist fucking up the lyrics to one of the covers, the band made light of this and even got a few laughs. They played well but just breezed through the set as if they knew they were the opening fart to something a lot heavier to follow.  Finishing on a high though with always a favorite Tenacious D song “TRIBUTE��� [6/10] 

https://www.facebook.com/hopesuphighuk

Up next and Sonorous from Forfar, the newbie of the night. They play a post-hardcore mixed with a bit of metal(core) even a touch of post-rock atmosphere at points. 

It's great to see such a young band, (I'm almost twice as old as the oldest member of the band) have such a great understanding of actual Dynamics. They know their stuff better than some bands I've seen that have been there for longer. A hot contender at that point for the “Band of the night”  for me seriously!

Another curious feature of the night, (more of the place) rather than the band, was the way the crowd gave pretty much every band heckles of “Take your shoes off!” this is actually a nice tactic and probably works the best in favour for newbie bands such as Sonorous, this although probably quite intimidating at first is a good way to get the band fired up or more relaxed and know in a way that the crowd is on their side. 

The only downside I could see from their set was their vocals, as the singer had a hard time hitting some of the notes due to a bad cold, (not to be helped). Like a shitty fortune-teller, I could say “I see a bright future” for these lads. [8/10] 

https://www.facebook.com/sonorousbanduk/?fref=ts

Defacer is on 3rd of the night and hail loudly "move out the way kids, the adults are here to play now!" I only heard anything about them on the night, and them being described as Everytime I Die meets Lamb Of God but I would also add to the descriptor  as Cancer Bats too as they do have an ounce or two of southern swing in the mix too, 

Apart from what I saw of the other bands, it was Defacer got the best crowd reaction with lots of pit action with dancing, kicking and slamming, even with a row bow motif as well as a human pyramid!

They played an admirably done cover of Tool "potman", showing they have a lot of talent to pull off something as progressive as them on the set list. Pete from Violent Relapse even did a bit of guest screaming on one their songs, turning it into a 2 pronged vocal attack! A hugely heavy and entertaining set!  [7/10]

https://www.facebook.com/DefacerKDY

Up next in the bill next is the very late addition to the bill was Third Floor Incident. Sounding like what Hopes Up High would love to sound like. Playing a speedy punk rock, bordering on pop punk, with even a The Suicide Machines Influence in there too.

Although I didn't, to be fair. get that a good listen to them as I was vainly trying to secure some kind of a lift back to home or a couch spot to crash on. By this point, everything was hugely late, and with all the craziness that was still going on, with large and hyped up a younger audience, I was admittedly a little distracted.  

They even did a cover or two, an ongoing theme of the night. Bonus for an is the absence of an annoying faux American accent! 

[7/10]

https://www.facebook.com/thirdfloorincident

This is really when the gig really got crazy out of hand, as everyone was as drunk as they were going to get to still be coherent. As this point, there were a few stage invasions and lots of folks grabbing mics between sets and blurting out random shit and start singing Smashmouth that even got a chorus as you do.

Then the hair trimmers came out, not a band but the actual tool. Welded by now thoroughly drunk Jack who is at best unpredictable when sober, so this loose cannon then proceed to shave the head of.. some guy. Presumably, they knew each other and this was to do with a charity fundraiser that this gig became at some point, The plan was if they raise an X amount. Jack would lose his fisherman's beard, but I don't think that would happen without a fight. Nor did I find out how much was raised or for what cause. 

Next up was Violent Relapse who are always a riot! Almost to a literal degree! With the rabid fanbase of pissed up maniacs. Not the tidiest of bands to play as they always try and turn every one of their gigs into either a piss-up, party or both, and by his own admission vocalist, Pete has never played a sober gig in the last 2 years! And I think that goes for most of the members too. 

They were quick to get chaotic with Pete jumping up on the tables and just going nuts really! Harsh vocals that are a forced so violently out. 

They play a fuck-heavy style of deathcore that is just tailor-made to get people crazy pumped and moshing. Unpolished and single-minded in the approach they even list their driver as “Pit starter” like a metal equivalent of a Flava Flav!

[8/10]

https://www.facebook.com/ViolentRelapse

This is when my crazy and hell of a fun night came to an end as I was once again shafted by bus times and had to exit the scene about 3-4 song into the set of Violent Relapse.

This gig is one of the most fun gigs I have been at in a long time, but definitely, not the most talented or musical impressive, this show was all about the crowd and atmosphere of so many folks having such a manic time.

This show was probably the least organized gigs I've been to since well forever, or well before I started doing reviews. It had a tiny promotion, and it was from a metal point of view, obscure bands, it was in an out of the way location yet still it pulled in a massive crowd.  

The other bands I missed:

Bereavement - Hefty Deathcore-meisters that know the heavy and well see my Review debut of their EP. (Edit: from what I heard from their bassist after the fact, this gig was not their finest hour as apparently there was a bit of infighting in band)

https://www.facebook.com/BereavementUK

Archives - Fife based pyromaniacs bridging the gulf between melodic hardcore and metalcore gracefully in a twisted violent way. 

https://www.facebook.com/ArchivesUK/