#the old iv is killing it tbh it sounds so heavy and so good

[vulcanette]

jaws from the ritual at denver summit; november 23, 2019;

🎥: angelus

[dreamkidddream]

congrats!!! ur writing is so cool hdhshshd

if its still can i request akutagawa with prompt 16?

Thank you 💙💙 I’m an anime only but I heard a little bit about his past and it makes me sad 😞 he just needs love and a good support system also he’s a little soft in this but pretty much the same Akutagawa 🥺 (here’s the same prompt with Fyodor!) reader is gender neutral!

SN: so if you see 2 different versions of this (1 with the bonus and one without) I couldn’t make up my mind if I should keep it or not, sorry about that 😭😭

TW: blood, minor cursing, small spoiler for Season 2/Dark Era (tbh idk if it’s really a spoiler but just to be on the safe side I’ll put it BUT don’t worry no name is mentioned)

Prompt: “Shh, you’re safe. I won’t let you go.” with Akutagawa!

It was suppose to be a simple mission: get the information, and kill anyone that gets in the way. The people you two were going after aren’t even a serious threat, or atleast they weren’t suppose to be.

So why were you bleeding out on the ground?

Akutagawa wasn’t gone for long, and he merely left to get what you both came for. He wasn’t expecting you to be laid out on the ground, barely clinging onto life.

Pissed is an understatement.

And the gnawing feeling of fear in his stomach that’s growing isn’t helping either.

-

You’re starting to feel so cold.

And from what you could see (besides the black spots blurring your vision), someone is carrying you. You hear them cursing underneath their breath, and it looks like they’re running, if you can tell by how fast your surroundings are moving.

“You idiot!”

Akutagawa’s carrying you? Did he complete the mission already?

“Akutagawa, you have to-“

“Shut up.”

“But the mission-“

“I already completed it since you’re so incompetent!”

“Thanks for saving me-“, you coughed up something wet, and you think you got some on his coat and even his jabot. “You didn’t have to come back for me.”

“Of course I did. You deserve some type of punishment for your failure.”

Even when you’re dying, you could tell that he had no real bite to his words.

You could feel your eyes closing. You’re just so exhausted, and being in his arms is so comfortable. He won’t mind if you just rest before you get back-

“Don’t you dare die on me!”

“Sorry Akutagawa”, the voices were starting to sound muffled, like your head is underwater.

“Thank you...for everything-“

You could hear someone- no, him- frantically yelling out your name.

You plan to apologize when you wake up.

If you wake up.

-

You feel like you got hit by a bus and a train at the same time.

You basically feel like shit, and your head feels too heavy to move. Now that your surroundings are starting to come into focus, you recognize that you’re in one of the recovery rooms. You see that you have an IV in your arm, bandages wrapped right above it. You can’t remember everything that’s happened, you just remember being with Akutagawa, you think it was for a mission-

Then it comes back to you.

The mission, an enemy ambushing you, getting stabbed through the stomach with their ability, blood gushing out, and tossed onto the ground, staring up in the sky, wondering if you’re really going to die without atleast saying goodbye to-

“AKUTAGAWA!”

“I’m right here.”

You jolted up, hissing at the pain, staring at Akutagawa who was standing in the doorway, closing the door to give you two privacy.

As he walked closer to you, you didn’t miss the blood stained on him or the tense look painting his face, but you did miss the way his fists balled up. You’re just beyond grateful that he’s alive, that he’s not the one in the hospital bed. You rather it be you in this position than him-

He jerked you up by the front of your gown.

“Do you have any idea what you’ve done? And don’t start with your pitiful excuses either! You always think that you know the best solution, that you always have the right answer for everything and you don’t. You’re weak enough to accept death so easily, ready to give up without even fighting back. How pathetic”, his eyes were blown wide, growling out the words.

“Ak-Akutagawa, I-I’m sorry I didn’t mea-“

“BE QUIET!”

You didn’t notice how much you’re blubbering, your words jumbling over one another until you froze as his shout echoed in the room. A long pause settled across the room, the only sounds being heard is his panting. You felt a pang of guilt and shame because he’s right. Were you really accepting death that easy? Were you really that weak to just give up hope like that? Akutagawa wouldn’t have given up like you did, you know that for sure, so why did you?

You are weak.

He slowly released you, but didn’t back away.

You didn’t realize you were crying until you saw the drops on his hand. You tried to control your tears, to wipe them away, but he just held your wrist to stop you.

The look he gave you wasn’t even of disappointment, it was a look of understanding.

The thought that you were at Death’s door, on the edge of losing him forever, it was finally starting to hit you. And the fact that it was Akutagawa who’s trying to comfort you and shared that same fear of losing someone that he’s actually fond of, showed that he was more sincere than what he let on to begin with.

He knows that you’re not weak, but he felt panic bubbling to the surface seeing you on the ground, laying terrifying still. Your blood seeping on the ground, your slurred apologies, the dread he felt as you closed your eyes for what could have been the final time.

Akutagawa has seen and experience many traumatizing situations, and he hopes to never have to experience something like this ever again.

You lurched forward, straight into his chest before you could process what you were doing. It felt like instinct, and as you sobbed into his chest, you felt him tense underneath your grip. He barely relaxed after it registered what he was doing, but you felt his hand place itself on top of your head as he tried to register this feeling.

“Shh, you’re safe. I won’t let you go.”

If anything his words made you bawl harder.

You would have never thought that the Akutagawa would ever be doing this to you, let alone anyone else. But you embraced this as much as you could. Being vulnerable and working in the Port Mafia don’t go hand in hand, so letting your walls down with someone so close to you are rare and you aren’t going to waste a precious moment like this.

Behind the heated glares, brutal honesty, and snarky comments, Akutagawa is someone that you look up to (minus the rather violent outbursts when it comes to the weretiger). He paved a way in this world, despite being dealt a horrible upbringing. He’s more than a strong person, he’s more than enough, even if he doesn’t fully believe that himself if it’s not in the eyes of his old mentor.

He’s more than enough for you.

Bonus

“Don’t let this happens again. If it does, I plan on killing you myself.”

“U-um yes of course!”

“And if you so much as utter a word of this-“

“D-Don’t worry I won’t!”

Well sweet moment over. Akutagawa’s intimidating again.

“The fact that you think that this was acceptable”, he scoffed. “This world is not made for the weak. Only the strong survive, and the weak perish. Stay by my side, or die with the weak, and I refuse to let you die.”

He stared at you, fierce determination in his gaze. “Expect training to begin once you get cleared. I won’t tolerate anymore failures. Don’t disappoint me.”

So this is way of showing concern. You’re not upset, far from it actually. You know that it’s hard for him to open up, so you appreciated the effort. You accepted the effort. You both didn’t want a repeat of this situation, and you’ll make sure that stays true.

“I won’t let you down Akutagawa!”

And he knows that you won’t. He’s by your side after all, and you’re not as weak as you think.

[ccsthemovie2]

YUE!!!! yue yue yue

LETS SEE IF I CAN TRANSFER MY DRAFT TO ASK ON MOBILE W/O MESSING UP FORMATTING HORRIFICALLY WOOOOOO

YUEEEEE AN ASK AFTER MY OWN HEART <33 this is, again, super long AND YET NOT THE FULL EXTENT OF MY YUE THOUGHTS, PROBABLY??? this is a fave from a decade back or so this runs DEEP. Why I like them:

yue has just been a lifelong fave tbh. a beautiful and serious anime boy???? AND he’s the moon????? superficials aside, i am always really drawn to characters who struggle with being overly loyal to a sense of authority and deal with figuring out they’re allowed to have individual wants and needs. yue is incredibly ride or die and nearly everyone’s like....maybe don’t die actually!!! and yue says [there was a manga cap here of touya asking yue to take care of himself and yue going >:///.....alright]

it is also really funny how he immediately goes from I WILL KILL YOU to extremely protective i-am-your-angel-dad, both to watch, and to see new friends get into ccs and hear the hype about yue and go oh i cant wait to see your favori-AAAHHH HE PUNCHED TWO TEN YEAR OLDS WHATTT.

Why I don’t:

gotta say it, his clear card hit-fakeout was kinda weird, good thing i have rewritten that scene and can just refer to my personal-writing-folder discord server when need be,

Favorite episode (scene if movie):

JUDGEMEEENNNTTTT AND ALSO THE STUCK IN BIG FORMS EP AAAAHHHHH . episodes ive watched a billion times. when i was a kid i liked judgement bc i was like HES SO COOOL AND MEEEAN YESSS DEFEAT SAKURA WITH HER OWN MAGIC GO GO and now im like HE IS CARRYING OUT A USELESS CEREMONY AND FIGHTING A FIGHT HE CANNOT WIN TO MAKE EVERYONE FEEL LIKE THEY HAVE A CHOICE WHEN SAKURA’S BEEN CHOSEN FROM THE START WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. and to top it ALL off sakura telling him she wants to be his friend and him not taking her offered hand? OUCHH... ;w; big forms ep is HILLARIOUS bc its soooooo AWKWARD. the awkwardness of being at someone else’s house... trying to talk to your host when the ONLY topics you have in common are “i know a few things about your dead crush” and “my other self is YOUR crush”. sakura telling him that her dad insists love can last through reincarnation and eriol specifically being like “give up on clow because he’s dead” later, and he’s spying on this whole ep so he must be rolling around laughing right then. the fact that neither of these couples is healthy whatsoever but everyone’s working with what they have to try and lessen the awkward, and oh no its worse now. kero picking up on the clowtime pattern of “i have to do all the work around here” but honestly its just that it’s kero’s house and yue’s awkwardly hovering and sakura really really doesnt wanna make her intimidating guest do stuff. WHICH IS UNDERSTANDABLE BC ITS SUPER AWKWARD. yue then cleaning the entire kitchen while sakura is cleaning off kero. 10/10 episode.

Favorite season/movie:

sakura card arc!

Favorite line:

when he shows up at sakura’s house and and sakura’s like :0 and hes like get used to it.

Favorite outfit:

the one from that pic i have in my about where he has this light blue hair wrap aaahhhh

OTP:

YUEKITOUYAAAAAAAAAAAA. yukito and touya dating happily and then yue a few years later like OH. I ALSO LOVE HIM. yukito being super supportive and happy of it. yue and touya both feeling like “whats an amazing guy like him doing with someone like me...”. yue going in thinking oh i know what love is and touya raising the bar constantly. its good!!

Brotp:

him and yukito!! two people waking up in their situation scared and upset and stuck together, making the most of it as only they can. i think a lot of them both being like “noooo i want YOU to be happy and comfortable” and trying to do little things for the other when each is taking their turn being active. yue making yukito tea and getting him out of bed when he neeeds to wake up but just feels sluggish, yukito buying little moon decorations for the house he thinks yue would like....aaahhh yukito getting glow in the dark star stickers omg...realizing that there’s no one they’d rather share a life with like that. i think yukito’s the sort of person who doesn’t like to appear uncertain and takes his time being sure before communicating, and theres a sense of pride on yue’s part that he’s the only person, often not even touya, who gets to hear yukito put his thoughts together and be that sort of sounding board. yukito “growing up” in a big “often”-empty house i think leads to him talking to the air a lot, and now that’s yue!!

him and sakura, too!! slowly taking her up on her offer of friendship!! there’s an amazing bit soon after judgement where just her asking frantically if he’s okay??? if he’s SURE he’s okay???? after getting hurt protecting her makes him stop and stare....the switch flipped he is her dad now. i want him to feel like he can talk to her, especially about the Before Times, weigh the things he thinks are too heavy for a child against the things he wants to be heard, maybe see her face and be like oh boy i got it wrong sometimes. and also the knowledge that this is a friendship they chose for themselves!! that they were Predicted to mean different things to each other, but it would be something inappropriate and draining and a cruelty to carry out. this is an unpaved road!! if i keep going on and on i will go on all day but HIM AND KERO!!! HIM AND THE CARDS!!!! HIM AND LI, AND TOMOYO, AND oh just let him be surrounded by friends!!!!

Head Canon:

extremely touchy. like the first thing he did when he showed up for judgement was grab sakura’s face and i think thats just how he is. i think nobody in the clowsehold had any awareness of personal space and yue got so steeped in it that he is just like that now. big on affectionate hair ruffles esp with the kids and putting-an-arm-around-people that he’s barely aware of. it makes yukito a little sad to know that he and yue can never really connect like that but if he hugs himself yue will feel it so it works out!!

Unpopular opinion:

(gets up on stage) clowyue!! (half the crowd boos half the crowd cheers) was HORRIBLE (the cheering/booing crowd halves switch confusedly) essentially i really like to think about the wreckage and then healing from the sort of toxic imbalanced ambiguously requited never-labeled faux-relationship feelings-yoyo i imagine it to have been. but that means i need to acknowledge it happened. unfortunately most people who make ship content do so because they like it, and most people who dont make ship content do so because they dislike it. can you believe it?

A wish:

go to therapy please

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen:

DO NOT SEPARATE THEM

5 words to best describe them:

ok he looks very polite

My nickname for them:

moonboy...

[kendrixtermina]

Now here's an all new theory for where the procrastination comes from

Like the uni councilors thought of like generic selfhate insecurity or like spineless ppl pleasing (nope an anime cured me of that when I was 13 - thst sounded more like what that ladys own problems might be), fear or failure & wanting to spite my father, eveb that getting ahead through "talent" was an unfair advantage bad tainted and evil, or that "talent" meant being beholden and controlled by others (definitely somewhat right - we worked on that, it helped, the second guy was defs much much more helpful & compatible cause he focussed a lot more on strategies than wannabe-maternal pep talks) but there was always something else there that wasnt getting touched

In tje end I dont think I have talent and in any case what really matters is attitude toward "living the examined life" for example whst you do. What you notice.

Now I did notice that things get harder to do precisely because I actually want them(whereas a lot of ppl get distracted from stuff because they dont really want it) - at the same time I can totally function or pick up new habits in day to day life its not like I have some "hardware problem" like, say, ADHD or the like.

Like of course its some emotional knot it couldnt be anything else but I feel they didnt identify what kind of knot? Certainly not that first lady. If im trying to get clarity and you give me reassuring pep talks you just freak me out more for the love of god tell me whats happening. Nothing worse when a Doctor says "it will be over soon" rather than explain the procedure

Fear of/ distraction from wanting itself never really occured to me thats not a common stereotypical fear that ppl talk about.

Let me get this straight I never thought I was better than anyone I knew very well that I'm not. I thought of both those things as ways not to get bullied, maybe get somewhere where I feel that im in the right place.

If I look back at really breaking experiences it was times I really really wanted something and then I couldnt do it or some outside party stepped on my fingers. That Tori Amos Music Video where she escapes from a psycho killer's trunk and then the passerby's dont help her? That was my most favorite music video in the world for years maybe still is.

Like I was told I could maybe skip third grade and I poured all my energy and passion and strenght into that everything I had to do well, make friends with the new class i was so highly motivated I aced all the exams I felt so happy & fulfilled just being in thst flow state all the time... i wanted this more than anything. Maybe it was the first time I really wanted something beyond vague dreams or base desires. But the homeroom teacher hated my guts and put the kibosh on that; Probably because I was unwittingly repeating some of the artogant classist shit my father spouts without realizing how hurtful it is. my parents thought it wasnt worth going to the higher ups for that but having to essentially redo 4th grade in a crap school in the different town we moved to was one of the worst times of my life. Also I didnt find out that the teacher had hated me/acted in a petty way until years after I thought I just failed. That there was a possible place I could have belonged but turns out I really belong nowhere after all.

All my effort was for nothing. It was such a joy - i mean these days even getting code to work or solving math problems has that same joy - but all that effort and joy and wanting did was that... im tearing up and searching for the words to even process this tbh. I think I denied that joy, told myself that I was just a stupud kid thinking I was a special snowflake. It didnt even matter.

Rather than insist on staying up late to make sure my homework was done I just stopped caring and hardly did another piece of homework in my life just faking it on the spot or coasting through. It could have gone another way maybe if it werent for the bullies and my father the chief bully or if only I was more determined but it was like "okay I dont care anymore I just dont care" and I think thats stayed my default response to dissapointment to this day.

This TV show didnt turn out like I wanted? I dont care its just a tv show.

My father treated be with hatred all my life? Its okay I dont care about him and I dont want his love anyway.

Like there were other times when I thought I could be happy.

Like I really wanted to go to this boarding school for gifted kids. Again I thought maybe incorrectly that this would be a place where I can belong and not be bullied it was never about being better than anyone.

Again I wanted it I clamored and cried and made noise nonstop. Maybe I still hadnt wholly lost contact with willpower back then. I still thought of myself as strong willed.

And my father made me regret it. It was around the same time that mom briefly considered divorce maybe I was just the stress valve. Or he took it personally as wanting to get away from him. Duh he abused me of course I wanted away from him. He was such a suffocating control freak! Mom said yes first then he spoke to her and suddenly she followed everything he said. Thats when I really realized how emotionally manipulative was how abusive... i mean one of my first conscious memories of him is thinking "oh crap I will be just like cinderella" but he really laid it on so thick so transparently even a 10 year old could tell its manipulation. If you do this you dont love your mom. If you do this you dont love your siblings. If you dont obey me your mom will kill herself. No she wont you jerk even my 2 year old self could tell youre abusive.

The most cruel thing he did was briefly say yes. Again I got so happy. So invested. Just bending all I was towards that even though he bombarded me with abuse and mental torture.

And then on the day we were supposed to leave he said no youre not going.

Maybe I actually did say I didnt want to go because of one time he was doing this constant scientology type torture on me

That same reaction: "I dont want it I dont want anything so please please let me be"

Ppl think of bad childhoods as a game that you win if yoz turn 18 -or 28 maybe - without killing yourself. But its not. Every year you live it can take away from your potential. Every day less than you have to live it

He sure didnt let me have sucess with his overcontrol and abuse. Anything I was proud of he rules. When I graduated from school with a fairly good but not perfevt final score he humiliated me. When I turned 18 he humiliated me. Everything I did was a burden even just feeding and washing me. Hed give me unwanted white elephant gifts then bitch about how giving them to me ruined his life cause he had to work so muxh "Ingrate Ingrate Ingrate" Butch I never asked for anything I want nothing!

But as I had to eat I did in fact have to ask things of him and I hated it so much.

No wonder that I turned out afraid of wanting things eh?

Hed seen some poster when we went to see tje school I wanted to go to - not by the school by an individual student - about the history of abortion portrayed in a positive way or at least that was his official reason why I couldnt go. Again I had wanted something badly with all my being and again all my being availed nothing. Irrelevant like I didnt exist. All my screaming gone unheard.

And this is so silly cause im not a child anymore I have control and if I were to stop procrastinating I could have money and gave even more control.

I havent even spoken to him in years now hes no longer relevant. Its not about him its about thus bad pattern I picked up.

I like how this books handles it with the idea that certain experiences dont create the type but that it nakes you uniquely suceotible to certain kinds of hurt or certain misunderstandings.

Because with all this discourse about bad message free media ive really come to think that while it can and should be minimized its not possible to eradicate cause human mibds are so quicl so fallible to extract overgeneralizations and make it mean something abput themselves

Like an immature statistical learning model easily overtrained by noisy data.

Another time I was nearly happy was when I started looking for work, doing my thesis...

Same pattern I was engaged, happy to be engaged talking to ppl at both work and in the uni work group loving it all so much...

my life had started to feel meaningful again. And it had gotten to that point in part because of my ex-fiance. Yes the councelling heloed taking up meditation helped, getting high on morning glory that one time helped a whole lot got more self esteem from that than I ever got from my father.

But that all started because of my ex fiance.

He was an i tellectual type and he had a sense of purpose about him like hes a legendary character and everyone around him became legendary too. And he found me useful! Others had called me "walking dictionary" with mockery and scorn he called me his google and it meant love and admiration. Maybe I got a bit of an ego trip off of tjat but I also really stupidly dumbtastically loved him I bragged of him to anyobe who listened everything he did seemed fascinating abd interesting and meaningful, but also I just loved the sweet gentle warmth of being next to him in the morning. Once again I was happy and everything was joyful even when it was hard, I felt strong and meaningful and useful and I let myself openly want things.

And then it all blew up. Worse yet i was so mistaken abozt him it really shook my confidence in my own judgement or any sense of clarity. I was si confused during the fucking breakup like I hadnt been since I left my father's house.

Google hah! More like his personal Alexa! It turns out he didnt respect or like me at all.

I couldnt even be sad or angry cause it was all my mistake. The one feeling I allowed - and even that took me weeks to identify - is dissapointment. Heavy leaden dissapointment i didnt even kniw that was a feeling you could feel so strongly. I didnt even do anything wrong you have to open yourself to have love. He could habe choosen to love me he just simply didnt. He probably thought he did but he wouldnt evebn do something as simple as not make fun of my voice or clean when I am sick.

Once he started putting me in the "wife" role he just became unable to see me. His loss really cause I think he wanted to keep me from all those annoying texts and email he had the nerve to write.

By all means I was right to trust but also right to leave later but still my sense of certainty and purpose and meaning was totally shaken. He did the sort of romantic stuff I didnt think was real. I knew I loved him when we had this conversation about water on mars. He got me the perfect books for my birthday! He said I was pretty and a genius and looked just like an actress. He got me this titanic esque heart pendant with stars. We were stuck at midnight in a train station that one time and he pulled out a picnic rug two plastic glasses and a shampain bottle. It never worked out but he said he might take me to see the LHC! I really thought we would be buried in the same hole folks!. He had read that same steven Hawkings book that I loved. One of the rather few books he actually read as I would find. Sigh.

And I fell right back into that same old pattern. Dont care about anything dont want anything it would be stuoid unrealistic and silly to want.

When I first came to uni I also had this feeling of hapiness and belongingness and wanting, I was putting in an effort, talking to ppl more.. and when things went wrong the slightest bit I pulled by hand back from that like from an open flame.

And here I am years later most the sucess or contact I get is comments on my fanfictions.

I thought I was doing that, or drawing, because its Stakes/Evaluation-free (going by the fear of failure theory) or because at least with the ffs gratification/payoff for effort is immediate compared to original stuff or uni work. Its a nice little niche at least.

I mean I do care about it its not "just" distraction but maybe ive been profaning it in that way... and so etimes I dont even do that and go for full unadulterated undebatable distraction; Line to 7 I guess. Tje only reason I spoke face to face to anyone else than the delivery guy this week is that I had some doctors appointments.

But not its distraction from stuff Im too lazy to do or even from pressure like I always thought. But from wanting things.

So the original fiction went great while it was a distraction from school not so much when its one of the things I most want and actually have the time to do it.

Even thought thats the most practiced skill I have that I never stopped working on since I was 10. 🤦‍♀️

I mean they already explained that its basically like meditation. Or weeds. Or popup ads. Youve got to click them away as they pop up.

I always told myself thst I didnt have to be happy... and thats not even untrue actually but it would sure be neat to be happy again one of these days.

[william-afton-positivity]

general

Oh okie!

Danceverse (main AU)

-the longest AU ive ever worked on for anything and it never stops changing. This AU is so huge, it includes OCs to fill in some blank areas as well as giving every character I can a backstory and behaviors. I even threw in some crossover easter eggs from other fandom's or old OCs of mine for fun. I don't think this AU will ever stop changing tbh

Buncakes Kill Everyone

This Danceverse spinoff based on the Vanilliam ship May look wholesome and super happy in a weird lovey dovey murderous way but BKE is probably just as dark as Danceverse in its own ways. Less characters means that I can make more characters into nasties. That dark stuff is now balanced with the new addition of little Noctis Trap.

Jamestrap and Grammy

Originally started from a post from @/adobe-outdesign (its been so long that I forgot which post it was unfortunately). Its a whole some crack AU for anyone who loves cats and Springtrap freaking out

Wild West AU

Got inspired after watching Back To The Future 3 and referencing gameplays ive seen of RDR. Still in heavy WIP stuff

Warriors Cats crossover

There was a huge trend of Fnaf Warriors cats blowing up a while ago and I took part in this interest. Duskclan is lead by LavenderStar (who later gets brought down and renamrd as Rabbitleap) with his doubtful deputy, Oaktail.

Springtrap Caused The Cybertronian War AU

Sounds exactly as it is. Don't start experimenting on machines with hybrid Remnant or you may just start an alien war. This started as a joke between me and a friend on discord. How did it start? Waffles.

Springtrap and Deliah AUs. Various

I used to have a collection of small AUs based on Grawolfquinn's comic. Some happy and silly, others traveling a more darker path but none were connected to each other. The longest running one was an altered Good Ending where Spring and Nick comes to their agreements that both of them need help with different things and agreed to make life easier for one another

[spooks-can-write]

The Babysitter

Nestor x Reader

Summary: Emily hires you to babysit Cristobal (this is apart from the actual tv series events) and you and Nestor have some...tension. im bad at summaries ok.

Warnings: no smut just tension lmao. Cursing. Some predatory behavior, nothing beyond that.

Word count: idk tbh its longER tho bc i cant be short im s o r r y.

Hope yall enjoy 💞

The door chimed as you walked into the coffee shop, immediatley seeing Emily beam as she saw you made you loose a tension you didnt know you were holding. After leaving your last job abruptly you had been busy trying to get your shit together and through the struggle you were glad to take a break to see your old babysitter and childhood friend Emily.

"Hey (y/n)!" She stood up, you noted motherhood suited her well. She seemed more at peace now.

"Hey Em!" You looked down to see Cristobal sweetly sleeping in his noteably expensive stroller.

"So..." she seemed eager "I was talking with Miguel and we know you're...well...looking for a new job and place to stay so we thought it'd be perfect if you stayed with us as Cristobals full time nanny."

You were caught off gaurd to say the least "Oh, uh that does sounds great but i dont have any experience really."

"Dont worry well figure it out and ill be there in the beginning till you settle in. Trust me."

You thought you didnt have many other places to go either way and being in a stable enviornment would be good for a change. Fuck it.

"When can i start?"

Nannying was going better than you thought. It helped that Cristobal was more than well behaved but also you kind of had a knack for it. Not to mention the mansion Emily lived in. The only problem from time to time was that asshole with the cornrows. He always blatantly ignored you or just stared at you until you left the room. You thought long and hard about what you did to piss him off and couldnt think of a single thing, so you decided he was just an asshole.

You needed to check with Miguel about taking Cristobal to the park, going to his office you just found Nestor standing next to an empty desk.

"Where is Miguel?"

He didnt respond.

"Where.Is.Miguel?" You ask with more attitude than you meant.

He blinked like he didnt understand.

"Nestor!" You raised your voice

"He stepped out. He'll be back in 10." His calm tone didnt match yours. You instantly felt embaressed to have been rude. Shit.

"Thanks" you walked out wishing you had been more calm

--------------------------

When you walked in he looked up, thinking it was miguel, to see you. You were wearing that new top he liked. It hugged your curves. The sun was hitting your face making you glow.

Fuck you were beautiful. He wanted to shove the chair out of the way and grab you and kiss you more than he ever wanted anything he knew he couldnt have.

Shit. You looked mad.

"Nestor!"

He gathered his thoughts

He watched you walk out. His stomach twisted that you seemed mad at him. Fuck.

----------------------

They were supposed to be gone all day so you were walking around the house, bouncing and humming a hymn to Cristobal in your pjs. He slowly fell asleep as you walked around the stairs to the den, you stopped dead.

You were met with the eyes of Miguel, Devante, Nestor, and a fair skinned man with a lot of jewlery and a shit eating grin as his eyes obviosuly roamed your body. You were just wearing a little bit too short of shorts and a tank top that cristobals sleepy hand was tugging down. You felt your stomach twist and cheeks flush.

"Sorry-I I didnt know anyone was home, he was getting fussy so.." you trailed off as Miguel stood up giving you a look you couldnt read. You looked over to Nestor and he looked upset.

"Dont worry mija we were just finishing up." Miguel said, like he meant it.

"Actually" the strange man stood, still undressing you with his eyes. It was starting to piss you off.

"Miguelito i think we should wait till my party next saturday to...finalize this deal huh?" He said with that same grin.

"Por supuesto" miguel said as he ushered the man to the other side of the room, talking to each other in spanish too quiet for you to decipher.

You felt stuck in your place. You focused on Cristobals breath against your chest. Trying to let it calm you. You noted more of the man. He looked dangerous. Emily told you Miguel was a international businessman and you believed her till you came here. You werent stupid enough to ask exactly what he did but you also werent stupid enough to believe he was just a businessman either.

The men came back and stood in front of you for a beat.

"Hey listen im really sorry i thought everyone was gone-" you started

"No worries chiquita, but do you have a passport?" Devante asked, eyebrow raised

-----------------------------

"Well if im being whored out i mine as well look good right?" You said smoothing down the soft rose gold satin dress as Emily and Dita sang your praises.

"How many times do i have to tell you (y/n) he just told Miguel he wanted to see you at the party, hes not going to do anything and we won't let him anyways." Emily reassured you, doing your hair.

"You're a part of the family now mija, this is our job as the women." You knew that comment was true, you saw it with your own eyes and that made it sting even more.

You were doing it for the sake of Emily and her family you told yourself. Plus you did look amazing in the dress.

You tugged at the zipper of the dress, it wouldn't budge.

"Hey em, can you-" you turned to see nestor at the door.

"I can if you want" his voice was gentle. Not that he was ever callous with you but it felt deliberate.

"Yeah sure" you half whispered, surprised it got caught in your throat.

He walked over. You moved your hair in front as he gently pulled the zipper up. Touching it when he was done. You turned.

"Listo?" He asked

You nodded, following. Feeling a flutter in your chest.

The drive to mexico was beautiful and serene. You mind did wander to Nestor and how sweet he was to you. You wondered if it was a fluke. Maybe he felt sorry for you. You tried not. to feel sorry for yourself.

You arrived to what looked like a castle. It had the guards with machine guns and everything. You found humor in that, as the situation sank in, you weren't scared.

It you were honest with yourself even when Nestor was cold to you, you always felt safe with him.

You all got out of the car, you last, as Nestor helped you onto the uneven stones. It'd been a minute since you wore heels.

"Dont worry." He leaned down to talk close to you, squeezing your hand. You met his smile.

The music was loud as you walked in. People were dancing and the mariachis were amazing. You were thankful to sit next to emily and dita. You felt eyes on you from men and their wives. You tugged your dress up. Definitley not the most revealing at the party but apparently it was enough.

"Its because you are not married" Dita told you, a comforting hand on your shoulder. "They are jealous" She smiled. It didnt make you feel better. You tried to focus on the drink in front of you.

The man from the house yelled joyfully and drunkenly in spanish and started walking toward the table. The men quickly stood up and met him halfway. Ushering him into a private room smoothly. Not before you made eye contact and he winked. You held your shudder.

The night went on and you found yourself almost having fun and forgetting the dangerous people around you.

You went to the bathroom as Devante and Dita danced.

You were looking for the bathroom when you felt a heavy hand on your waist. You jumped and turned. It was the man.

"Hello pretty women" he said with a accent slurred with the smell of strong alcohol that pinched your nose.

You backed up to find yourself against a wall. You started to look for a way out but his hand got harder on your waist, moving to hold your hip.

He leaned in speaking breathy spanish against your ear you couldnt understand on your best day. You took the opportunity to side step, noticing his henchmen about 10 ft away watching, glocks on their hips. The situation sank your stomach. You wouldnt be getting out of here.

"(Y/n) ive been looking everwhere for you." Dita shuffled past the man grabbing your arm and pulling you away. "Miguel needs to talk with you." She said louder than necesarry.

You were at a near jog down the hall. She stopped and turned you when you were safely away but not into the main area.

"Are you okay mija?" She held your hand. You felt tears welling.

"Men like that will ways exist and here, you will find them in abundance. It's important to stay close to us. They prey on the lone wolf okay?" You nodded. She wiped the tear you didnt know you shed.

She stayed with you till you calmed down.

"Brave face mija" she said as you walked back into the room, back to the table. Nestor and miguel were there looking directly at you, worried, trying to read your face. You forced a smile. Understanding what being in this family meant. It wasnt good. It wasnt bad. It was just your life now.

Nestor quickly sat next to you. Emily eyeing you, sympathetically. They were all too smart to not put together what happened. She touched your thigh, you flinched. She removed it. You could see she made a heartbroken face out the corner of your eyr but you couldnt bring yourself to meet her eyes.

"Im okay i promise. Just..shook up" you were honest. She nodded. You knew she felt terrible.

The night continued. Nestor wanted to kill him and he knew how he would do it. He shared looks with Miguel. He shook his head. Not yet. The second you walked out, holding ditas arm like it was the only thing keeping you up his stomach twisted. Rage ran down his back.

When he didnt see that bastard Diego and didnt see you, his mind raced and he was about to go down the hall to kill that fuck when Dita grabbed him.

"You can't. It has to be me." She didnt have to explain. He knew why. It killed him to turn around and walk away from the situation as his mind let dark thoughts in of what he was doing to you.

He kept looking at you, he could see you trying to be brave but under the table your leg was shaking and you were fidgeting with your hands.

"Come outside with me baby" he leaned over so only you could hear him.

You looked over at him standing with his hand out. You were thankful. Did he just call you baby? It sounded good coming out of his mouth.

You took his hand. It was calloused and strong. It calmed you down almost instantly as he led you outside. When people saw him coming they almost fell over themselves to move out of your way.

The cool air felt good on your flushed cheeks. He let go of your hand and led you to the balcony. You leaned on it, embracing the night air.

"Its really beautiful out here, all things considered." You chuckled.

He looked worringly at you, "Thank you Nestor." You grabbed his arm.

Fuck, his name sounded so good in your mouth.

"You're welcome." He watched as you leaned against the balcony. He wanted to touch you, tell you, youre beautiful but after what happened thats not what you needed and he knew it.

-------------------

You stayed like that for awhile, in each other's silence. The muffled sound of the mariachis relaxing you.

You felt your eyes getting heavy.

"Dont get tired now its not even 1am yet." You looked over, surprised he noticed.

"Maybe we can just stay out here all night then." You smiled at him.

Fuck he would do just about anything you asked. Crawl on glass in the snow, change your oil, anything as long as you kept smiling at him like that.

"But it's probably best to go inside right?" You sighed.

"I think so."

You grabbed his arm as you walked in, holding onto him and keeping your eyes on the table.

Time passed and you struggled to stay awake, you leaned on Nestor's shoulder without thinking, you froze. He moved over to make you more comfortable, moving his arm around you but not too much. You snuggled in. Damn he smelled good too. You closed your eyes, feeling people looking. Fuck em.

You were stirred up by Nestor rubbing your upper arm "hey, hey, time to go."

You stirred, never really falling asleep but not present for the end. Everyone was filing out slowly.

Nestor was looking over to Miguel and Diego. He shook Miguel's hand. He didn't look away as he put his coat over your shoulders and walked you all out.

You noticed Emily smirking at you, making eyes at Nestor's jacket around you.

You tried to open your mouth

"-Ah." She cut you off. "You don't need to tell me anything." She smiled.

You smiled back, happily getting in the warm car and doozing on and off on the way home, catching Nestor look at you in the rearview mirror made you blush.

You all made your way inside as you felt the emotional fatigue of the day in your legs.

Nestor was waiting by the front door. Not for you it seemed. Just taking a moment.

"Can i be out here with you for awhile?" You asked, ready for him to say anything.

"Yeah."

"Thanks for tonight, for taking care of me."

"I know you can take care of yourself (y/n). I just didn't want you to feel alone out there." He spoke softly, sitting next to you.

You stared at his face for the first time it seemed. He was beautiful. You dared to glance down at his lips.

He followed your eyes. He wouldn't move qn inch on you tonight. He didnt want to chance pushing you but fuck did he want you so bad.

You weren't used to initiating, you could see he wanted you but wouldnt move. You closed the distance, stopping just short to see if he'd react.

His head just barely titled up towards you, you took it and kissed him, you being the one to take control felt good. You wondered if he was usually like this.

He was gentle and sweet and you found yourself appreciating it tonight. You grabbed his face and you deepened the kiss.

You felt brave and stood up and sat down to straddle him. He grunted in the back of his throat as you grabbed his braid he moved his hands to hold your thigh and ass.

The kiss slowed down and he smiled into it. You laughed, dropping your head into his shoulder, touching your lips.

"Wow uh-" you got off him, laughing with him.

"Yeah" he laughed, grabbing your hand. "Let's go inside."

He dropped you off at your room which felt cute and a little ridiculous. It was fitting.

Words failed you and it seemed to him, as well.

"Goodnight." He said softly again.

"Good night Nestor." You replied closing your door, silently congratulating yourself for not dragging him into your room.

Whatever, give it a week. You smiled.

[charlyoddsox27]

its 6am, i havent slept, im bored, so im posting a list of the mercs in order of whom i like the most and reasons why, because thats something i should do i guess?

here goes

(spoilers for the comics down below but either way i think im the only person on earth who has never read them before now)

~~~

~~1. Medic~~

reasons for being my favourite:

• fucking. look. at. him. 👌

• 'mad german doctor' is one of my favourite tropes and he is a pretty bang-on satirical depiction of it

• cute-ass german accent

• he has pet pidgeons hE LOVES HIS PIDGEON PALS THEY KEEP HIM COMPANY

• healers are the most respectable class imo and since Medic pretty much started it he's automatically the best, thats how it works right?

• he sold some random persons soul to satan in exchange for a ***ballpoint pen*** and can i just say, fucking mood??? (he is literally the "i'd sell you to satan for one cornchip" meme)

• "yes, Archimedes...I couldn't agree more." *shudders* b oi .. .

• so many more reasons to love this gross old doctor so little room in Tumblrs posts.

~~2. Spy~~

reasons for being my second favourite:

• cranky, done with everyones shit, just wants to be left alone, fucking mood

• he's a spy i mean c'mon. look at the swanky-ass suit, look at the class radiating from this asshole.

• he may be a dick but he has a soft side he's just too jaded to show it most of the time (see: Scouts death in the comics?? real tears. honestly wish they'd panned that out more.)

• masks are hot tbFH--

• he enjoys a nice glass of whisky by the fireplace and so do i (fun fact: france is the biggest importer of scottish whisky in the world so its a nice touch)

• shapeshifting is fucking cool are you serious like he can just. do that. what a legend

• "i have a cyanide pill in one of my molars, if i break it then spit some in your mouth before i die, we can avoid being tortured." *'heavy' bursts in to save them* "PFFTHBTHF--"

• "SEDUCE ME."

• arrogant frenchman is one of my other favourite tropes and this is the most arrogant frenchman ive ever seen

• he's the only fully sane Merc, maybe apart from Engie.

• people love to hate him bc he's an asshole but...come on. after working with all those other weirdos for years, you'd be pretty jaded too.

• as a gross shipper, he's the easiest and the most fun (imo) to ship with Medic (rip me)

~~3. Pyro~~

reasons for being my third favourite:

• would have tied with Soldier if it werent for that one picture of them in the comics holding a puppy over their head with the most adoring expression on their mask??? good Pyro. goodest Pyro.

• doesn't do much in the comics but makes up for it in pure charm. look at that soulless face and tell me you dont love it.

• ambiguous gender ambiguous gender amBIGUOUS GENDER AMBIGUOUS GENDER. she/he/they? trans? nb? whatever you headcanon, it'll never be confirmed so its literally up to your own imagination. fucking ace, Valve 👌👌👌

• likes to burn things. god damnit. they like to burn things, guys. but they enjoy it so much, you just cant hate them, you can only feel a sympathetic joy that this precious lunatic is having fun in their own little world.

• canonically mentally ill (schizoprenia? it could be hallucinogenic drugs but i like to think its schizophrenia.)

• pretty sure they burned a pair of pedophiles in the comics. at least i think thats what those panels were insinuating. "lets open an orphanage and have an endless supply of kids to--" sounds pretty red-flaggy to me tbh. plus they were the villains so, eh?

• bludgeoned a bear to death until its skull was pulp because it insulted their special interest. you go, Pyro.

• for a few bits in the comics they have a really cute family dynamic going on with other Mercs, Soldier for example."Miss Pauling, Pyros on my side of the car." "Miss Pauling, Pyro cut off my hand." fuckin' cuties.

• when they start putting on like 50 shirts to keep warm in the Russian mountains. chubby.

• a gas mask that can function as both badass, and completely adorable.

• just. everything about them. how could you not love them. they're not in the wrong, you are. stay away from my misunderstood child and let them burn things god damnit.

~~4. Soldier~~

look I'm sorry, I love Soldier and he was gonna be tied with Pyro but that fucking puppy drawing sold me.

• absolute gold every second he speaks. he could sneeze and i'll laugh.

• such a dumbass you cant get annoyed at him for it. like. just agree with him and move on. no point reasoning with a boulder. "haha! silly Miss Pauling, thinking theres different types of blood." Medic: "haha yes! indeed, silly."

• HUTTAH *NECK SNAP*

• i'm not American and even i can see how blatantly his character mocks stereotypical Patriotic Americans��. but its so dumb and laughable, its adorable.

• EVERYTHING ABOUT HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH ZHANNA IS A BLESSING. EVERYTHING.

• the first "meet the Mercs" video i ever saw was "meet the Soldier" so he holds a special place in my heart

• (preaches about experiencing the horrors of war; has never actually been to war. shh dont tell anyone though--) *neck gets snapped*

~~5. Demoman~~

• I'm Scottish. even though his accent is absolute garbage (no offense to the VA), any representation is very nice.

• Black AND Scottish?? i mean has a character like that even existed before TF2??? amazing example of representation right there. there are barely even any black people in Scotland, how did this happen. I love it. more of this, please.

• he's a drunk guy who blows shit up for shits and giggles and god I wish I could too, sounds like a miracle stress-reliever.

• his sassy black scottish mother. combining the stereotypical black mother with the stereotypical scottish mother is literally the best thing that ever happened.

• the bit in the comic where Medic explains that Demo can't remember what happened to his eye bc he scooped out part of his brain, and the look on Demo's face. just. the look.

• again, he's scottish, he's stereotypical, and he's awesome.

~~6. Sniper~~

• underrated

• piss jars. piss jars everywhere.

• "no dad, im not a crazed murdering lunatic, I'm an assassin. ...well one's a job and the other's mental sickness!!"

• "meet the Sniper" has kickass music

• ruffled gross old man who isn't actually old, he's just seen some SHIT

• actually given development in the comics + some really good scenes with Spy.

• so suave...so...handsome. handsome ruffled bushman. me like.

• he dies first in the comics but gets brought back and gets a cool-ass scar. and then he's just walking around naked everywhere for the rest of the comic. Medic, where the fuck did you put his clothes.

• isn't actually Australian. thats like one of the biggest twists in the comic. "no wonder i was never inhumanly strong and my chest hair didn't grow into the shape of Australia!!" Classic.

• says "bugger" a lot and i love that word

• he needs a hug, let me hug him. and give him a bath.

~~7. Heavy~~

I'm gonna be crucified for putting the big lad so low but i promise i dont dislike any of the Mercs. he'd be higher up but...ive never really liked big huge tank-men tbh :/

• loveable as fuck

• will murder you if you bully his puny little Medic

• i looove Russian accents omfg

• he like big gun. i can respect that.

• when Medic was killed and he went APESHIT on Classic!Heavy and I lost my fuckin' mind over that shit

• he probably has a soft spot for small cute animals. i love imagining him being swarmed by Medics flock of doves and petting them like "good bird...so many good bird..."

• actually smarter than people give him credit for???

• i really really wish his character was a lil more fleshed out but. that's just me. i love him but he doesn't have the same appeal to me as Medic or Spy.

• his entire relationship with Medic...ugh. yes. best friends and/or boyfriends. all good to me 👌

• he named his gun Sasha and that's adorable

~~8. Engineer~~

• gOD, FUCK, I REALLY WISH HE DID MORE IN THE COMICS. i barely know anything about his character. i like him a lot but...god, he...he doesn't...do.....anything.......

• he built a cool robot arm for himself and AI turrets and teleporter machines and guns that fire magic healing powers and immortality machines, in the 1960s. what. some kind of wizard fuckery is this.

• smoothest voice in the west

• "y'all"

~~9. Scout~~

oh god i really am gonna be crucified. i dont hate him i just. like him the least.

• shitboy

• reminds me of a shitty ex but also kinda relateable in a way

• some genuinely funny bits in the shorts.

• gross horny hetero teen boy with a god complex and serious daddy issues. also, he can't read. the "sex bom" tattoo on his chest will be an eternal testament to that. nice job, Spy. you raised him good.

~~~

hoo boy there we go theres all the boys, all the beautiful boys (and Scout) in order of how much i love them. if i made any errors in my info about the canon, feel free to send me death threats 💙 (no seriously tell me though, being a newbie is embarrassing)

so uh. yeah. that took two hours to write. its now 8am. im still bored lol. bye i guess.

[spitelout]

As that makes sense, thank you for answering my questions! => Hmm this one might be a weird one but if when the gang have a run in with a new dragon who's breath has the ability to de-age anything it touches for a limited amount of time, how would Spitelout react to his son conning back a toddler again and staying that way for a few days? Espicially if his now toddler son would want/need his attention so often?

He would be unbelieving at first, then angry, it would probably take him a bit to realize Baby Snotlout doesn’t have his memory intact, hes just a baby again….Then he would fall right back into his old dad ways, making silly noises while trying to teach him how to use his bludgeon properly all over.

Because what greater pride is there in the Jorgensen family than to train the young to be just as good as their parents =3

He probably isn’t the most responsible parent, however. I mean…neither was Stoick, they both gave their children deadly weapons as their first gifts.

He was probably rougher than most people, I can see him putting Snotlout with Terrible Terrors to make them play fight and then beaming with pride over any scars the toddler might receive in the tussle.However, I can also see him reassuring the toddler as they cry that this is a good thing, that they will grow into a strong warrior and be able to tell the tale of when they beat a dragon as a baby. (In fact, I think thats where the idea of Stoick killing a dragon with his bare hands as a baby came from…exaggerated scar stories. It probably happened about the same way….with a Terrible Terror.)

Tbh, if such an event occurred, Hookfang would probably have to take over caring for the reborn Snotlout because I just dont believe Spitelout is capable of being a responsible adult with babies, he doesn’t understand how fragile they ARE compared to what they CAN BE.He, among other vikings in the tribe, were probably the type to put several babies in a ring and watch them fight.Vikings are communal - even in parenting, so its possible he often left Snotlout with anyone willing to watch him….The twins parents come to mind - which is probably why they spend so much time together as teens as well, they were raised together.However, its possible Snotllouts mother died later in his life and she raised him until he was able to walk and follow his father around. Perhaps she raised the tins as well - they do mention they’re orphans, but -shrugs- their pasts are pretty clouded in mystery too.

Unfortunately, with this in mind, the twins would probably convince Spitelout to let them watch baby Snotlout for a bit and…I think we can all guess how that would go.

Lets just hope Hookfang isn’t affected by this as well, bc that baby is going to need a guardian angel - especially a five ton angel of fangs and flame

Also , since your ask was so specific, heres a sorta drabble based around it.

————————————————————————

There are few things that can surprise Spitelout these days, very few, but as the small viking - no, chieftain, Hiccup, stood awkwardly before him, he found himself at a loss. Hiccup was always presenting the tribe with surprises, and now, it seemed, he was presenting a very personal one to him.

Curious, and perhaps a bit bemused by the awkward chieftains shuffling he began the conversation, “What brings the chief of Berk to my door today?”

Hiccup scratched the back of his neck as he looked between the ground and Spitelouts gaze, “Uuuuuuh,” He took a deep breath and let it out, “Spitelout…” There was something heavy on his mind and he didn’t seem to know how to get it out.

“Yes, I am he. go on, boyyo.”

“While we were out exploring the islands, we encountered a dragon we had never seen before, it was amazing, it was - - ” Hiccup never had been the best at getting to the point, but Spitelout let him ramble; the lad really liked his tales, Stoick had too….

Luckily, Astrid stepped in, ah, what a great lass, always straight to the point. “What hes trying to say is, we found a new dragon and Snotlout being Snotlout, well,…” she trailed off, biting her lip as she held out a tightly wrapped bundle towards him, a Snotlouts helm delicately placed atop it.

Spitelout felt his brow furrow as his gaze trailed down to the bundle. There was a tightness in his chest that he refused to acknowledge. Had his boy really gotten himself-

He glanced up as Snotlouts Monstrous Nightmare waddled into view, it seemed anxious, but not particularly upset. Strange, that.

He became plagued with wary curiosity.

“Hes a bit…shorter than when we left this morning,” Astrid continued at last, a light chuckle in her voice,

He took the bundle in one burly hand and gingerly unwrapped it with the other.

He looked back up at the pair, who continued to watch him warily and awkwardly at the same time, he furrowed his brows deeper, trying to decipher what sort of game or joke they were playing at. He looked to them fr answers.

“Spitelout, this- this is your son.”

Spitelout chuckled heartily,  it was just some game they were playing, strange, he always assumed they were different from the twins. “I only ave the one, boyyo, don’t think I could handle anotha.”

“No, Spitelout, that is - this is Snotlout.” Hiccup insisted. “the dragon he battled had this strange…” he struggled to find words, “venom, I guess is the best word for it, that, when inhaled, reverses the aging process and turns people back into younger versions of themselves.”

Spitelout critically searched their faces for the lie, then stared down at the child in his hands, it looked back at him with familiar grey eyes.

“Gothi says theres a cure, but we have to find all the parts.” Hiccup hesitated, choosing his words carefully. “Until then, you need to take care of him…”

“Alrigh, Ill play your lil game, ” he sighed good-heartedly. He found it hard to believe such a thing could really happen, “But if ye needed  babysitta, all ye had to do was ask.”

Hiccup began to protest, but Astrid stopped him, pulling him away with one last wary glance behind her and leading him to their dragons.

Spitelout shook his head as their shadows vanished in the horizon, it seemed the pair still had a ways to go before they became parents of their own. He looked back down at the child and wiggled his fingers near their face making silly noises as he did so. The child gripped his fingers tightly, and a seed of doubt entered his mind.

—————

He was angry at first, pacing the room as the Monstrous Nightmare coiled itself around the child and watched him carefully he didn’t doubt that the thing would light the entire archipelago on fire just to protect Snotlout, but he wasn’t concerned by its low rumble.

“Ow could you go an be so brash!” he scolded loudly, “I ave told yew time and time again, ye cant jus rush in blind!”

“Now, Look at ye! Reduced to - to this! Well I ave news fer yew, Im not changing that diaper. Yew can change it yerself!”

The child sniffled, a cry beginning to bark from their throat.

“Oh don’t start yer cryin, Ive told ye about this before. Were Jorgensens! We don’t cry! We make other people cry!”  he tried to sound harsh, but there was a softness edging into his voice as tears streamed down the childs face.

The Monstrous Nightmare was growling now, a full fledged snarl that bared every single dagger-point fang in his head.

“Oi don’t ye start! Where were yewwhen this happened anyway?”

The dragon bulked at the accusation and simmered back into a low rumble.

Spitelout sighed as the childs screams ripped through his home. He wasn’t angry, he was frustrated, frustrated at himself.

Freya help him, he couldn’t raise a child alone.

Ignoring the dragon he plucked Snotlout from its coils and sang him the Jorgensen lullaby.

————————————————–

“its just wee scratch,” he reassured his son as the toddler screeched and flailed away from the terrible Terror. “Hopefully it will scar and then yewll have a story to tell when ye get older!”

The baby sniffled unconvinced, but curious. 

“Ye can tell em you got it grappling a berserker who tried ta kidnap the prodigy of the Jorgensens!”

The baby lit up as his father articulated this cheerily with his hands.

“But no one kin take a Jorgensen from the place he calls home, no one!”

————————————————————————

He was happy to play father again, really he was, up until day three had passed and neither Astrid nor Hiccup had returned.

He was a busy man, incredibly busy, and also incredibly tired.

Did babies normally cry this much?

Spitelout did his best to comfort the babe, but it didnt seem Snotlout understood how great it was to be a Jorgensen, couldn’t see what a great warrior he would be one day….had been….

———————————————

There was a ruckus upstairs, a series of dragon shrieks and the smell of burning wood. There were startled screams and the screams of a woken baby.

Spitelout rushed upstairs, ax at the ready as he prepared to defend his son.

the screaming stopped when he got halfway up, the house became eerily quiet, and chill went through him followed by a burning in his gut. Whatever was up there better have prayed to whatever god they believed in that no harm had come to his son.

Voices reached his ears, soft but with an annoying edge to it, the twins.

“Hes so cute now that he cant hit us~” Tuffnut purred as he let the small Snotlout play with his braids.

“Yea, and now that he cant talk!” Ruffnut laughed.

“Oh, hey, Spitey” Tuffnut noted blankly, unapologetic in the damage they had caused. “Mind if we take Snotlout out for a midnight flight?”

————————————–

Edit: Annnnnd sorry but I ran out of juice here. -shrugs loudly- Its 1 am, I spent too much time on this as is. X3

[outofthewoods]

REPUTATION - ALBUM REVIEW

alright girlies here it is my first impressions (whatever I wrote down after the SS plus a few notes I made when it dropped) I AM LITERALLY....QUITE LITERALLY SHAKING....MY WIG: IS ON MARS 

READY FOR IT: At first I was kind of like…. :/ about this song but it’s actually a really good opener and a banger. Not sure I would’ve picked it as the second single but it goes all the way off. The bass has me shook Line: “he can be jailor burton to this taylor”

END GAME Very…..the weeknd vibes right ladies ?????????? this is like…..taylor’s Instagram baddie moment It is still SO WEIRD To me to hear rapping and Taylor swift in one song. Even tho we have the bad blood remix Im still….shook by Future and Taylor together ??????????? I really like this, it’s not one of my top 5 I don’t think but it’s so different from what I would've thought of for another ed/taylor collab Ed is giving me some don’t vibes..i’m into it…ed talking about the fourth of July is really iconic. Taylor telling the story of how this came about was really iconic too…I can literally picture her and ed getting drunk and being like HOWWWW COOL WOULD IT BE TO COLLAB WITH FUTURE????? LOL and then it actually happening I love her like. talk/shout/singing when she says “big reputation…” Line: “I swear I don’t love the drama, it loves me” Her runs in the last chorus THANK GOD…..I NEEDED THESE VOCALS…..

I DID SOMETHING BAD THIS SONG HAD ME FUCKING QUAKING IN THE SESSION…… “If a man talks shit then I owe him nothing” THE CHORUS BANGS…..IM LITERALLY……MOUTH OPEN SHOCKED I CANT BELIEVE THIS….THE M.I.A. PAPER PLANES MACHINE GUN SOUNDS…. This is so……blank space but……..fucking darker you SINNERS “If he drops my name I owe him nothing, if he spends my change then he had it coming…” The chorus is here again Im bopping so fucking HARD WOWWWWWWWWWWWWW I’M……….CRYING AT THE VOCALIZATIONS OF THE HOOK. I’m pretty sure she said this came to her the same way she came up with “STAY!” in AYHTDWS The bridge ladies LIGHT ME UP!!! GO AHEAD AND LIGHT ME UP YOU FUCKING HEATHENS!!!! THIS SONG MAKES THE WHOLE ALBUM WORTHY OF A GRAMMY Im literally shaking like my skin is quivering….that 2000’s fade out……Please kill me

DON’T BLAME ME This is the hozier…take me to church….taylor swift version The chords are her vocals and that. Is revolutionary, Einstein found dead in Miami Line: “I would fall from grace just to touch your face, if you walk away I’d beg you on my knees to stay” The like…..wopping of the chorus is really just…..gold Her falsetto at the end of the second verse. Wig on mars This is the stoner Taylor swift song we didn't know we needed but are so thankful we have VOCALS IN THE LAST CHORUS….I NEEDED SOME RUNS AND THE PRERELEASES DIDNT GIVE THEM TO ME BECAUSE SHE WAS SAVING HER DESTRUCTION OF EVERY OTHER PERSONS VOCALS FOR THE ALBUM

DELICATE This is very Imogen heap to me…… like the layered robotic vocals. It’s very interesting…..a really good segue from DBM It’s got like a deep house….tropical feel to it that I am really enjoying girlies “my reputation’s never been worse, so he must like me for me” why does that line have me crying Taylor swift you are literally sunshine THIS IS THE CHORUS I REMEMBERED….the is it cool is it chill etc…….that’s what I thought CIWYW was after the SS for some reason ???? “do the girls back home touch you do like I do?” SECOND VERSE LYRICS Got me feeling some wildest dreams type of way she looked at me so much during this song I’m emotional, I was bopping to the chorus and she was laughing at me and winking when the beat comes in during the chorus Not a standout from the album but very cool very different good vibes man

LWYMMD Obviously a bop. I see why it’s in the middle of the album and when Taylor explained the progression of the songs this really makes a lot of sense. I’m just feeling fragile bc Taylor swift grabbed me by my cheeks, pulled me towards her, grabbed my hands, and danced with me during this song. Wow BABY I GOT MINE BUT YOU’LL ALL GET YOURS!!! We literally screamed this in each other’s faces it was so……amazing I will NEVER FORGET The video…..do we even need to remind ourselves of how fucking iconic it was When I first heard this I was so confused I had just woken up in Ireland at 6am to listen and I was like . What is this But the chorus goes all the way off tbh This is like a parallel to shake it off….the themes and messages of……being yourself and rising above what other ppl think of you…..

SO IT GOES… Ok I literally blanked this song from my memory at the session, I think bc it was right after LWYMMD and me and Taylor having our first proper moment of the night “Back against the wall….tripping when you’re gone…” This album is so bass heavy. I’m loving the studio instruments, I thought I would miss the live guitars etc but I really don’t because it doesn’t fit with the album “I’m so chill but you make me jealous” Sis we have learned from 10 years of music from you that you aren't chill al;ksdfnjksdhifbknsdfdkjf I love you mom I love the way she says so it goes! In the chorus “You know I’m not a bad girl….but I do bad things with you…” WHOMST “SCRATCHES DOWN YOUR BACK NOW…. Taylor you've done several numbers on me I stopped counting 8 years ago the whispered 1..2….3……WOW VOCALS….AGAIN……….SCRATCHES DOWN YOUR BACK NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHES REALLY WILDIN OUT HUH

GORGEOUS This is such a cute song. For me it seems like one of the ones I like less, but at the session I remember being so happy listening to it because she pointed me out and called me by name when she was passing out the new merchandise….so I was chillin Also she kept winking at me during the DINGS!

GETAWAY CAR Queen of whisper singing I wanted to leave him….I needed a reason SUDDENLY I WILL ONLY EVER DRINK OLD FASHIONEDS. IVE NEVER HEARD OF ANY OTHER DRINK Okay in my mind I was like this song is :/ but it bangs to be honest! I love the chorus Should've known Id be the first to leave….this song is full of tea ladies This song to me seems like it’s about a rebound relationship that wasn’t so serious/was just a way to release pent up emotions from something awful “X marks the spot….where we fell apart…..” the pre chorus is really out here doing that sweeties The bridge has an interesting modulation that i don't know how to feel about….this whole album is like full of surprises/polarizing musical techniques so this is cool This is Taylor Swift fleshing out a metaphor/concept masterpiece to her full ability. Queen of literature who is Shakespeare I’ve never heard of him Said goodbye….in a getaway car……. The ends of the songs are so interesting on rep…….this one goes off

KING OF MY HEART “I’m better off being alone…” Miss Taylor I’m so glad that you’ve stopped thinking this because you are really….the most WORTHY person of love in the whole wide world… This is probably my least favorite song on the album. It has some remnants of getaway car in it I feel……she’s cute but getaway car is sexy and sexy destroys cute It’s a little repetitive but I appreciate it’s placement on the album………..you move to me like a Motown beat…..alright Miss king of my heart redeeming herself My broken bones are mending……….taylor I love u………why are u drinking beer when u could be having an old fashioned tho…..beer is gross

DANCING WITH OUR HANDS TIED Thank you piano I love a live instrument The story behind this song is so heartbreaking and knowing that makes….the song so much more impactful to me “You had turned my bed into a secret oasis, people started talking putting us through our paces” here’s a big fat FUCK YOU to the daily mail Again the chorus comes in and is so….huge and sprawling compared to the rest of the song…..shaking us to our very cores! I love that you can hear the frantic/anxiety she was feeling throughout the song….like the rushed vocals and drawn out lower notes…..then the chorus just coming in with GLORY I LOVE the instrumental of the chorus so much…..it’s so beautiful and a little 1989 to me. Like very eighties synth heavy We also have some VOCALS! In the bridge and last chorus! the runs are giving me life

DRESS This song is like a …… I’m kind of drunk in the meatpacking district running from bar to bar with someone I love in the cold with big coats on….tea to me The falsetto. Queen Taylor has really been expanding her vocal register and I’m FUCKING here for it “Everybody thinks they know us” circling back to the overall theme of the album. We know what she chooses to let us know and beyond that we’re just fucking guessing sinners This song is like a …… I don't really care what they think of us I just wanna really…………see your dick and I don't care what anyone thinks of that ! THE HAIR BLEACHED LINE……SHE IS LITERALLY THE QUEEN OF SELF DRAGS I CANT SHES SO SELF AWARE ITS UNBELIEVABLE…….she’s like being humorous but also referencing a time in her life that was really shitty for her so. Queen of duplicity “I woke up just in time…” this line says so much about where she was when she started seeing Joe

THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS Oh girlies…..I have been so excited to hear this again since the session. She spilled some major fucking SCALDING tea before playing this so my ass was fully ready to be sloughed The alarms in the beginning…..a champagne sea…..my dream…… This is so fucking tongue in cheek about what everyone said about her #squad “I have to take them away” DEAD this is why she stopped having 4th of July parties klsadjidfnksdfd “Stabbed me in the back while shaking my hand….” Oh no…………WHO WOULD DO THIS TO MISS TAYLOR!!!!!!! “I took an axe to a mended fence….” The mhhhhhmmmmmm………. IF ONLY YOU WERENT SO SHADY SALKJFSDNKFJGM,DFLKNJGIDK WHY IS THIS SONG ABOUT ME SITTING ON TWITTER DRAGGING PEOPLE LEFT RIGHT AND CENTER Hard knock life………..TEA……during the fucking BANGER of a chorus….this is going to be so fun on tour…..SHE BETTER BE A SINGLE!!!!! hE sAiD shE saID!!!!! Here’s to mama…….yes miss Andrea here’s to u queen of the world THE BRIDGE…..SDFLSDMFJKNDNDSLJFKNFDJDSFNSD THIS IS WHY WE CANT HAVE!!!!! NICE!!!!! THINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cant even SAY IT WITH A STRAIGHT FACE Heres to my REAL FRIENDS! WOW….just wow ladies this is the future liberals want

CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT In my personal onion this is the most vulnerable song on the album. The first verse really has me out here crying in the club The chorus is so cute, this is a low-key banger and I wanna see her flying across the crowd during this song on tour

NEW YEARS DAY So here it is girlies….the most hyped song on the record…… Live piano. Minimal production. The concept behind this is so adorable “Candlewax and polaroids on the hard wood floor….” the most Taylor swift thing I have ever heard This relationship really seems like its forever my dudes she’s in it for the long run. She has never been so confident in a relationship that she’s CURRENTLY IN. She’s opening up DURING a relationship which is like……basically unheard of for her I love how subtle this is….the harmonies on the second chorus….crying in the club again “Hold on to the memories they will hold onto you…..” she said she's had that line ready to go for a while but couldn't find a place for it and here it is being adorable and wonderful also the line “Please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I can recognize anywhere” Can I just speak on that line again….it is so beautiful and simple and shows how much she’s been through and the pain she has dealt with….and the sadness she KNOWS………..but she’s okay enough to talk about it. Im crying in the club 3.0

INITIAL RANKING: I Did Something Bad Don’t Blame Me Call It What You Want Dress Delicate Dancing With Our Hands Tied This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things Look What You Made Me Do Getaway Car …Ready For It? End Game New Year’s Day Gorgeous So It Goes King of my Heart

[thataspdfeel]

I'm curious, what are you most attracted to in your partners? Is it similar traits in all of them or different ones like their sense of humour etc.? Sorry if this is a weird question but you've said before you like when people ask about them so I thought I would.

i was so excited to get this and then forgot to answer it :/ im an idiot

also gonna put this under a cut cause this is gonna be hella long cause im a fucking romantic dork

god though i could wax poetic. they’re all so lovely. like they have traits in common but also are unique. they all have brown eyes but theyre unique. like my husband has these eyes that remind me of warm chocolate. like a chocolate fountain kind of warm chocolate. dark and smooth but reflect the light. my wife’s have tinges of gold in the irises like flecks of gold leaf. and theres a dark ring around the pupil and one around the edge of the iris. theyre fucking magical

my boyfriend’s eyes are almost black and very deep. darker than the night sky and full of warmth and mischief. but its like theyre never ending, like he can see the innermost parts of whoever he’s looking at, like your soul is written on your forehead

lmao i love eyes can you tell

they all have these goddamned sinful eyelashes and my boyfriend’s are the longest. theyre as dark as his eyes and when he’s embarrassed, he gets all shy and they brush against his cheekbones like how dare you sir. how dare you be beautiful even when youre embarrassed. i look like a fucking tomato. rude

my husband’s look gold at the tips with the way the light catches them. like yknow how fake eyelashes have purple or red at the tips? like that except gold. like what??? the fuck??? rude

they all have very soft hair though my boyfriend’s is the longest. i cant wait to get with him irl again cause i wanna braid it. he’s got a bony face and it frames it so well. it’s so dark brown its almost black and it’s fun to see him try to sweep it out of his face cause he refuses to tie it up

my husband has these wild curls. we were looking up how to take care of them and that’s how we found out hes ethnically jewish. (which makes sense considering he’s german) they get so thick and heavy and they’re so soft and lovely to nap in. which i do on a semi regular basis. its so soft and lovely and i love when he grows it out. he just doesn’t look right with shorter hair. and he has this beard that grows funny, makes him look like jedidiah if yknow what i mean. he has such a baby face without it and he loves beard scritches it’s so cute how happy he gets

bluh im bouncing all over the place i just??? love them?????? so??????????? much???????????????? there’s so much to talk about!!!

so i guess i’ll just try and make a list of the things i love about them

husband:

cheerful, bubbly, very sunny personality. the human incarnation of a very excited dog (which can be A Lot sometimes)

extremely kind. would give you the shirt off his back. often laments that he stopped carrying cash years ago every time he sees somebody who could use some despite the fact that we’re always broke

a proper southern gentleman??? like im fat so im used to people not holding doors open for me fucking ever and being really goddamned rude in general. he ALWAYS holds doors open for me, opens the car door for me both to get in and out of the car, and gets pouty if i try and carry my own bag. it’s so sweet??? ive literally never had that before and even after three and a half years, it’s still so charming

he will do literally anything the fuck i ask. he’ll say no and im like oh ok and he’ll tease like “finally! i said no! and got away with it!” just to make me giggle and then does it anyway

on this note, he also always cooks as much as absolutely possible. even though his spine gives him problems, he does his best to keep me off my leg

he’s always so concerned about my well being. like if there’s not a disability cart at the front of a store, he makes me sit down while he goes and chases one down. if im stiffer than usual due to a cold front, he’ll remind me to take pain meds every four hours

he’s trying to learn japanese because he knows i dont have anybody to practice with here in the states. just for me and not any other reason

adores animals. even if he finds a dog annoying, he’ll still fawn over it and give it as many pets as it wants and won't ever snap at it even if anybody else would. he’s got these large hands and he’s kind of clumsy but this goes away around animals. he’s just so careful and gentle like i never ever worry

drags me out of my introverted cave because he knows social interaction is also good

has introduced me to some of my favorite books and video games because he’s verious conscious about what somebody likes and works to be like “hey, i think youd like this” and is almost always correct??? amazing

has 0 sense of style but doesnt mind somebody who knows better keeping him from absolute disaster

dude is a damned good cook. ive gained like at least a solid 25 pounds since he moved in and started cooking regularly

SPEAKING OF COOKING, we met on the tail end of my anorexia when i was doing my best to recover and still slipping up. he never made me feel bad about it but always encouraged me to eat. he eats SO much (think shaggy rogers) that i always felt comfortable eating in front of him. he always reminds me to eat and asks if ive eaten that day. honestly, i wouldnt be at this level of recovery if it hadnt been for him

is amazing at caling me down holy fuck

wife:

met her first, of the three of them, ironically so ive known her the longest but been with her the shortest. we dated a few months in hs but there was a chick she wanted to date like right there (and i was in japan) so i was like oh go for it. well, they broke up and we got back together and it’s been lovely ever since

she has this snorting laugh that’s adorable to listen to and it makes me feel more comfortable laughing (because i think i sound like a damn goose)

SHE HAS SO MANY GODDAMNED FRECKLES ON HER CUTE LITTLE FACE THEY’RE ADORABLE AND AMAZING AND VERY FUN TO KISS BECAUSE SHE SQUIRMS

she has a goddamned button nose for chrissakes

and these really wide hips too like i felt bad about my hips years ago cause theyre p wide but shes adorable and has wide hips too. she kinda made me love them (even though hers are better)

she’s genderfluid so i get to be gay all across the gender spectrum (im agender) and she’s so beautiful and handsome and v amazing

we were both homestuck fans at the height of it (like we still are) but her cosplays are just really well done??? shes so talented

OH MY GOD SHE MAKES THIE CHICKEN SOUP WITH HOMEMADE NOODLES I WOULD SLAP AN OLD LADY FOR

i dont know about the rest of her cooking (sadly) due to limited time around each other but i cant fucking wait tbh. her cookies kill me tho i love them

an amazing fashion sense. im a dumpster compared to her

an amazing writer and artist and i die every time she sends me something like my soul fucking ascends

she loved me BEFORE meds which i think is amazing. like what a lovely human being yknow? im a dick without meds and she loved me anyway and i love that about her

she speaks german and she makes it sound beautiful and i cry

her singing voice is so angelic and it kills me when she sings because everybody should hear this lovely person sing

she is hyper empathetic and it makes her so lovely and kind and wonderful. she completely understands how i feel about things and why even when no one else does and is very good at de-escalating me when im upset

we’ve just known each other for something like 7 years now? like i dated her post my abusive ex and she lit up my whole world with happiness at being treated well. then her ex was abusive and just... we get each other? in a way where her husband and my other two partners dont. its a pain the others dont understand so we go to each other during these times of pain in a way we cant with other people. it’s a very special connection

she’s a goddamned goof and i love it

my boyfriend:

motherfucker is so skinny which is the opposite of me and for some reason it works?? idk like it worries me but it’s also unique. love it

we dated almost my whole senior year of hs but he broke up with me because he thought he didnt have the same depth of emotion as i did for him and didnt want to “hold me back” from somebody better. like??? can you imagine?????? how fucking kind

recently started dating again like it took him fourish years for him to realize SHIT I MADE A MISTAKE so he’s a little slow but he’s so very thoughtful

he’s a goof in a different way than the other two. dad jokes. never ending fucking dad jokes. and goddamned puns. he never stops. dont tell him i love them because then he’ll never let me tease him again (i pretend like its The Worst)

so. fucking. dramatic. always flips his hair in the sassiest way possible. its super gay (he’s bi)

he doesnt do a whole lot of romance or saying WHY he feels certain ways. he feels like it cheapens the emotion. but, on the rare occassion he doesnt let this bother him, his poetry he sends me about how he feels makes me fucking cry. it’s so beautiful. i love it

he works watering at a plant nursery and complains about how the bees always use him as a landing strip. it’s adorable

he’s so resourceful?? this is best seen when playing minecraft cause he makes some damn cool structures in some really nice places. i love playing it with him just to see what he builds and how (especially since im a boring, lets make this house a square kinda ho)

he’s so camera shy??? no selfies no skype at all. he’s so bashful and it’s super cute i love it

got me into DnD like yes thank you for this enjoyable nerdery

the sole reason i passed math in hs. like not only is he smart but hes also really good at explaining things to people? definitely a talent for teaching people things

he was my best friend for the longest time like all three of them are my best friend but he was the only one who was my best friend FIRST and then romance blossomed

like im demiromantic so i need a strong connection to fall in love like it was a solid few months of dating my husband before i began to love him. i knew my wife for awhile and got close so same general story. but my boyfriend and i were more friends to lovers and i love that about him

his dad is half italian so he talks with his hands and it’s so overdramatic that he hits people with them on a semi regular basis just gesturing. he once accidentally knocked my glasses all the way across a room cause i had walked behind him and he made a sweeping gesture. hilarious

one time, i had food poisoning and the pain was so bad, i had to crawl under his kitchen table until my mother came to take me to the base clinic. he sat with my head in his lap and brushed my hair out of my face and cooed gently at me to try and soothe me. it was so sweet and ive never forgotten about it

motherfucker, with the help of my sister, dragged me into homestuck

he’s so damn shy about affection that holdling his hand in public makes him blush. it’s even worse if i steal a kiss. fucking adorable

things all three have in common that i love:

good in bed. it sounds silly but this is important to me because while i dont necessarily need sex to form a close relationship to fall in love, it definitely helps

idk how this happened, i really dont, but somehow everything i like lines up nicely with everything they like??? and if im not into something, they can find it with each other and vise versa. lmao wtf how did this happen to line up idk

kind, generous, sweet, and helpful although all three show these qualities in different ways despite having them in common

love me??? like honestly it sounds so silly that id love that they love me but im such a flawed, terrible human being that it leaves me in deep awe that not only does one person love me but three??? how??? amazing people to find something in me to love and to keep on loving despite all my problems. beautiful

creative, smart, and inventive each in their own right. they fucking astound me and take my breath away

beautiful cuddlers (not being sarcastic, promise)

husband is a goddamned heater but boyfriend is a living block of ice. then wife is one of those who’s in between but she steals your heat and then hours later gives it back which is the worse option of the three. like it starts out all nice but then you end up surprised hours later because youre fucking dying of heatstroke

so we have two heatstroke, drowning in sweat options and then losing your limbs. it makes trying to set the thermostat a fucking nightmare

they all love to read and honestly? i couldnt be with anyone who doesnt like a good book

can hold lively, in depth discussions about things

hubby tends to lean more towards “would it be immoral to fuck a succubus” type morality questions and superhero dissection type things

wife is all over the place and can carry on a conversation about goddamned teapots if she so chose. no idea how she does it

boyfriend likes to entertain more morbid thoughts and psychology but also likes to analyze things. like homestuck. we still fucking dissect homestuck

very intelligent. blows my dumb ass out of the water. beautiful

like gaming various amounts and various kinds of games. hubs likes any and all. boyfriend likes dnd, monster hunter, minecraft etc kinds of things, not really one for cards or board games. wife prefers to craft but will occasionally engage in board games or cards, less so in video games but tends to stick to pokemon. it’s nice

they’re all very physically beautiful though in different ways. hubby is barrel chested and german with very strong arms and big hands, a bright and sunny smile. wife is small and round with tiny, artist hands and a sweet, pixie face. boyfriend is thin, long, and gaunt with pale skin and dark hair (kind of like damien from dream daddy tbh)

i could go on but ive been making this post for like well over two hours now and i figured maybe i should stop. it’s long as hell and idk if anybody else would have read this whole thing but basically i fucking adore my partners??? so much??? and there are so many things about them to love???

i just love them so much and could go on and on for hours about why i love each of them and how lovely they are and how they make me feel

ksdjrfgh im so sorry this is so long theres just so much to talk about //sweats

[offendedbydjinns]

Big Dream Chat

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 09:44] Ok so in my dream there was like this old tower

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 09:44] I think it used to be like a hospital or hotel or something? But it was like stupid tall

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 09:45] And there was this gang that lived up there

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 09:45] And they all had weapons that were also like, musical instruments

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 09:46] That was like a thing in this universe I guess

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 09:47] So somebody (also with an instrument) would like challenge the tower and have to fight their way to the top

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 09:48] And there was supposedly like, some kinda prize up there

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 09:49] o_o

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 09:49] that's pretty cool holy shit

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 09:49] & I challenged the tower but my weapon was different cause it was like one of those old microphones back in like the 20s?

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 09:50] And it was like a magic staff and integral to getting the prize at the top somehow

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 09:50] those mics are really neat looking

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 09:50] During these duels you had to harmonize with your opponent as well as fight them

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 09:50] So it was like a duet?

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 09:51] DUET DUEL

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 09:51] Duelet

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 09:51] And I was like dude this would be a fucking awesome game

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 09:51] That would be.

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 09:52] Also Rebecca was there for some reason

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 09:52] She had an electric guitar/chainsaw and she was fuckin pissed

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 09:52] OMFG

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 09:52] she gonna fuck dudes up

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 09:52] and by dudes I mean capcom

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 09:54] It had like lighting powers because of course it would

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 09:54] SCIENCE! AND A CHAINSAW! AND MUSIC!

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 09:54] -guitar riff-

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 10:01] No but honestly it cool as shit and I really wanna think about these other weapons

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 10:05] Like a violin/crossbow that shoots ghosts or something

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 10:05] holy shit

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 10:06] Final boss should be a big monster choir

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 10:07] when you say that, I think of like a pipe organ, but each pipe is a ghostcorpse fused to the others

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 10:07] and they scream just slightly out of tune with each other

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 10:08] I think of like a big gospel choir

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Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 11:42] but what i was going to say is i had an idea for the instrument thing

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 11:42] so maybe after you beat somebody you get the ability to use their weapon

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 11:43] like they drop a concert ticket and you can exchange it at the same place that you get upgrades

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 11:43] oh my god

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 11:43] that's amazing

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 11:44] also maybe a dude with like a digerido thats also a fuckin leiomano

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 11:49] ohsit those things!

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 11:49] with the shark teeth!

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 11:49] i could probably make a brass knuckles pun

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 11:51] i want to have a dude that has that Botswana heavy metal culture thing because its the coolest shit ive ever seen in my goddamn life

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 11:52] like? bruh

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 11:52] holy shit yes

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 11:52] DEATH METAL COWBOYS

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 11:52] that's rad af

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 11:53] god its so fuckin cool

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 11:53] nothing will ever top this probably

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Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 12:02] Sorry I don't mean to distract I just had another idea

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 12:02] it's cool, I'd like a distraction

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 12:03] A guy who's weapon is like one of those mixing boards

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 12:03] Like for electronic artists?

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 12:03] And his weapon is the level itself

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 12:04] like, changing the level with his mixer?

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 12:04] Yeah and like making traps and stuff

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 12:05] You just have to hit him once but he moves around the level

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 12:05] That's pretty sick, I love it

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 12:05] And he has like a cube on his head like daft punk

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 12:06] And like a tshirt/sweatpants combo

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 12:06] Fashion

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 12:06] Slippers maybe

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 12:06] with the drawstrings on the waist band visible

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 12:06] Yes

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 12:06] SLIPPERS WITH BUNNIES ON THEM or something else ridic like that

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 12:06] cubes

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 12:06] Crocodiles

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 12:06] cubes like his head

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 12:06] Oh my god

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 12:07] Mice

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 12:08] MEECES

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 12:09] Because deadmau5

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 12:09] HA, nice!

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 12:16] Carrying a mug of coffee

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 12:16] Takes a drink

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 12:16] Coffee spills down the front of the cube

----

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 15:14] http://offendedbydjinns.tumblr.com/post/155403818337/i-had-an-amazing-dream-last-night-where-i-had-to

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 15:12] oh fuck I should add a little pointed tail like an electrical chord

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 15:14] omg

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 15:14] i thought of it as i was posting SHYET

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 15:15] SICK

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 15:15] whoever's using Bezek is definately like the second to last boss or something

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 15:16] beast ass fuckin chainsaw

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 15:19] lightning noises? does it roar?

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 15:20] prolly sounds like thunder clapping

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 15:20] and also like a fuckin sick guitar riff

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 15:20] fuck yes

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 15:21] im so excited i wanna make a whole thing now

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 15:21] DEWIT

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 15:21] it's rad as hell dude

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 15:24] ok ok so

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 15:25] broken down building

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 15:25] is it bad i wanna do like a semi apocalypse? soft apocalypse kinda

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 15:25] no, that shit is badass

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 15:25] where society is kinda rebuilt from the remenants of the old one cause i like that

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 15:26] ok so, wars maybe

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 15:26] unrelated to the musis stuff/before the music stuff

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 15:26] and then like, the choir shows up?

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 15:27] called by the siren song of a dying world

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 15:28] and theyre big and scary but they like uh, rock and roll and violence

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 15:28] sort of a eldritch/celestial group who prefer anarchy to order like a bunch of weirdos

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 15:29] so the tower maybe used to be a hotel but theyve converted it to a big concert hall slash arena

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 15:30] and theres a musician on every floor kinda trapped in their own weird time bubble where they dont age and cant die and whatnot

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 15:31] and they say theres a prize on top but theres not really the choir just hangs out there and if you make it to the top you get your own floor

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 15:31] which is sort of a raw deal tbh

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 15:32] yeah

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 15:32] so like does the floor get added to the top or the bottom

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 15:32] and if you dont make it your corpse becomes a bellhop or something idk

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 15:32] or somewhere in between

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 15:32] omfg

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 15:32] depending on how good your music is the higher your floor is

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 15:33] and the memphis rod is special cause its the only weapon that can kill the choir

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 15:33] or at least get rid of them

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 15:34] so that would be like an actual reward and all the musicians can leave this fuckin building and get to go outside for a change goddamn

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 15:34] they cant go to each others floors either its super boring

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 15:36] they all leave and theyre like o shit its been a while remember when i kicked your ass that was great

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 15:45] omg

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 15:45] can they communicate between floors

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 15:45] like with a lobby phone?

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 15:45] no

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 15:46] awh

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 15:46] do they get to do anything fun with the bellhops?

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 15:46] is there roomservice? or snack machines?

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 15:46] do they get free ice?

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 15:46] yes and yes and yes

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 15:46] fuck yes

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 15:47] the bellhops are super helpful and its a nice hotel but they have no will of their own whatsoever and are not fun at parties

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 15:49] and the floors are very fancy and spacious

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 15:50] so id be fun for a while but then its like wait shit im stuck here

----

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 17:02] Oh shit!!!

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 17:03] I'll needs to make a new rock n roll guy cause I can't use Rebecca lmao

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 17:07] Rebecca with a goatee

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 17:07] evil alternate universe rebecca

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 17:07] I

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 17:08] Bright blue spiked hair, longish

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 17:08] Painted face like kiss

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 17:09] DO IT

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 17:09] LEA���THER👏JAC👏KET👏

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 17:09] kiss references are the best

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 17:10] Fingerless gloves! Punk rock anger machine!

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 17:12] YES

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 17:16] Yeeeeee!!!!!

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 17:16] Highly favored. Choir is a big fan

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 17:17] The shopkeeper is like

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 17:18] Shaped like the witch woman from spirited away and just as big

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 17:18] excellent

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 17:18] beeeeeeg

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 17:18] And has like a big goofy powdered conductors wig

TacitKaiju, [04.01.17 17:18] omg

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 17:19] And a bunch of spindly arms and its face is like a void

Flaccid Pancake, [04.01.17 17:19] And he just upgrades your weapons and shit

[theonemusicmaniac]

Yo,yo,yo, tell us some of your fave musicians/bands? : o

Oh my gosh, of course I’d love to talk about that!!!!!!!

I’m gonna preface first & foremost by saying that I AM a music major & have been exposed to all kinds of music, so you’re probably gonna get a LOT of answers from me!! I’m also gonna put this under a read more cuz I am a crazy child who can’t shut up!!! Anyways, here we go!!

So as a musician, I actually started off playing the Alto Saxophone. That being said, my biggest jazz inspirations are probably Charlie Parker (my MOST fave saxophonist tbh I studied all his music!!), Cannonball Adderly, John Coltrane, Miles Davis, Dizzy Gillespie, & Herbie Hancock!! And my favorite thing about Herbie Hancock (other than the fact that he’s still alive & bumpin’) is that he is one of the biggest successful names who also practices the same sect of Buddhism I’m involved with, & that’s Nichiren Buddhism. Hancock is evidence of our buddhist practice because he chants Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo (loosely translates to “devotion to the Mystic Law of cause & effect thru sound”). So why is that important? We believe that if you chant NMRK & also put your thoughts into action, then you will receive immense benefit. The point of our practice is that we believe anyone can become happy thru chanting, & our goal is that if we can make everyone know happiness, then the world will know peace. ANYWAYS, back to music, that’s just my jazz answer!!

I’ve also had to study a lot of classical music growing up, & I must say that I’m most fond of Romantic Era & 20th century classical music. Tchaikovsky, Chopin, Brahms, & Liszt are some of my faves from Romantic Era. Stravinsky, Schoenburg, Copland, & Ives are some pretty incredible 20th century classical composers as well.

GROWING UP, I started off as a lil bop/top hits child because, yknow, parents will only make you listen to what they deem appropriate, but as I became exposed & learned more, I actually became a lil rocker child like my dad!! Dad exposed me to Led Zeppelin, Queen, AC/DC, Kiss, all the classic rock shit. This was also around the time that the one Jack Black movie came out (School of Rock I think it’s called). So I eventually began exploring rock music within my own generation (which there are TOO many bands that I like to even list off).

My biggest inspirations from middle school (and still to-date) are Alkaline Trio & 65daysofstatic. These two band saved my life when I thought I was down at my worst back when I was suicidal.

Going into high school, I was still the rocker child, but I think 65daysofstatic exposed me to start listening to more electronic stuff. Not necessarily dubstep bc dubstep didn’t become really big until just about when I graduated high school, but like. Stuff like Armin Van Buuren. Trance stuff. I thought it was super cool. And honestly, my favorite thing about seeing dubstep thriving into fruition was that I felt like a saw new generation of music being born. I couldn’t help but wonder, “Is this what it was like when rock was born? Was this what it was like when jazz rose within America?” It was SO cool!! Even though I’m still a lil rock child, I have so much love, appreciation, & respect for electronic music, & would definitely incorporate it into my own compositions (but since I don’t have a band rn, as you can see, electronic is all I make for now).

I would say my top 4 biggest inspirations to-date are In This Moment, Motionless In White, New Years Day, & William Control. & I can break this down easily:

1) In This Moment

In This Moment is SOOOOOOO important to me!!!! Gosh I almost don’t know where to start!!!!! I remember the first time I heard them was actually on MTV back when Headbangers Ball was big, & “Beautiful Tragedy” was like, their new biggest hit! I DIED when Maria Brink collaborated with Chris Motionless to make the music video for “Whore!” But most importantly, “The Fighter” was my motherfucking anthem after my ex & I broke up last year, & ESPECIALLY when I was sexually assaulted five days after. “I will not hide my face, I will not fall from grace, I’ll walk into the fire baby. All my life I was afraid to die, but now I come alive inside these flames.” The other thing is that Maria inspires me SO MUCH from a lyrical/compositional aspect cuz like (& I know I said I’m Buddhist from a philosphical standpoint), I also consider myself a witch, & Maria has a very enchanting witch aesthetic, & ALL of her music is written to have these really heavy messages with grand morals & such, so I see bits of both my buddhism & my witchcraft thru their music! I’m gonna be seeing them live for the first time in April and ASDIFHAOIJGPOWJGE I am so excited!!!!

2) Motionless In White

WowowowowowowoWOW where do I begin again!! I know people make fun of old MIW since it was basically only screamo/edgelord stuff, but I used to LOVE that shit once upon a time, and tbh, I think MIW is the only band of its original genre to actually become successful in obtaining that Halloween/goth/nu-goth aesthetic (which is exactly why I LOVE IT), I admire Chris for his “idgaf” attitude & for the depth in which he writes his music. MIW is obviously a very political & socially aware band, but they also take time to write very personal music too. I think the Graveyard Shift album was VERY personal, given that 570 & Hourglass were their favorite songs to make & they had such deep messages about their own journey as musicians. I’ve had the pleasure to meet this band twice, & the second time I think I left a good impression! I gave everyone in the band & their girlfriends (bc I’m such a barista) Starbucks gift cards, & they were all very nice & thankful!! I think Chris also remembers me as the one who asks really heavy music-related questions at VIPs cuz like, the first time I met them I was like, “What advice do you have for musicians like me who want to do what you do??” & the 2nd time I met them, I had a question regarding composing music. Nicest band, 10/10, & if you’re going to the final Vans Warped Tour show, you should definitely go support them because they’re on the lineup!!! (Not important info, but they also featured Maria Brink in their song “Contemptress” off the Reincarnate album, & I think that’s amazing that they team up so well)

3) New Years Day

MY BABYGIRL ASH IS SO GOOD SHE JUST GOT ENGAGED OMG I AM SO HAPPY FOR HER!!! Anyways, NYD is another REALLY nice band, & much like ITM & MIW, they carry both the witchy aesthetic (since Ash is an open witch), & they also have a bit of a Halloweenish vibe to them in their own sense (but not in the same way MIW does). I think, if you’re not big on the heavy music ITM & MIW make, NYD is a PERFECT recommendation because it’s still dark-themed music, but especially vocally speaking, it’s much “easier” on the ears (I love all of this kind of music, but this is also what people in my close circle also tell me cuz not all my friends like my music). I’ve only met this band once, but I’ve also had SO many incredible interactions with them! I met them for the first time at Vans Warped Tour last year, & it was exactly one month after I was assaulted. I didn’t feel all that great that day (partly cuz I was going to VWT by myself & I hate going alone to concerts), but Ash Costello called me beautiful when I felt my ugliest. And that’s when I realized, “Fuck if my idols can see my own worth & beauty when I can’t, the who the fuck am I!?!?” I also got to experience music lessons with both Nikki Misery & Jeremy Valentyne (just before Jeremy left the band) & they’re both very cool people! I’ve also supported Ash’s now-fiance as a musician by donating to his GoFundMe when he was doing presales on his very first EP (I think I was one of his top highest donators??) & I also made a purchase off of Ash’s DEPOP once, & she actually sent me Christmas/New Years thank you letter & some polaroid photos of herself and I???? Cried??? New Years Day is one of the few bands that I actually genuinely actively see interacting with their fanbase & loving their fans as much they do, they’re so GREAT. If you get into them & interact with their social media or go see them live, they’ll love you up to bits & pieces, they’re so sweet. I want to be as humble as them if I ever make it big.

4) William Control

A god amongst kings... My love & appreciation for this man runs so deep & knows no boundaries. I grew up on Aiden in both middle & high school, but when I learned about how the industry fucked with Aiden as a band, not only did I support Will’s transition from the punk/goth Aiden to his now electro-synth Control morally speaking, but I was actually surprised to find that I actually genuinely really LIKED his electro stuff more than his rock stuff! You can almost tell he’s going forcibly high in Aiden, like he’s straining his voice so much to get that right tone (even though he KILLS IT cuz he’s a MONSTER). But Will’s openly said before that the transition to William Control has helped him vocally because now he sings in a much more comfortable range. He also exudes an aesthetic that I wish I could obtain within the music industry?? Like, his music is sexually themed, but he’s not inadvertently SEXUALIZED. That’s how I WANT to be. I want to make music that can have sexual themes, but without actually sexualizing MYSELF. He’s also really open about being in the BDSM community, & most of his merch is based off of BDSM like his “Fuck Christian Grey” t-shirts (I think he even has his own branded butt plugs?? bless him). He has been able to transform his life so much that he went from “broke-but-famous” Aiden, to “I own my own record studio now & I’m the boss now” William Control. He actually technically retired as a musician (he’s stated that he hates touring & knowing that his son could grow up without him, so he wants to take time to focus on his family), but he’s still the manager of his very own Control Records. Because I don’t see myself forming a band anytime soon, it’s actually one of my goals to apply for Control Records as an electronic musician.

As for what I’m listening to right now (I don’t condone smoking, but if you do smoke, smoke weed), I sometimes listen to stoner shit cuz I do get high with my friends recreationally, & I do genuinely need weed to help me cope with my anxiety & depression, & my IRL friend @spectra-indica recommended CloZee to me & I can’t stop listening to it!! It’s both organic & electronic in it’s own fascinating way, & one point I got so high & connected so deeply with CloZee’s music that I almost started crying.

And yeah, those are my top faves by far!!! I wish I could list more, but then it’ll get too long aaaaaah ;A;