#the next few times are during b's training montage where it all comes to a climax when b discovers the loa and makes the connection between

[scarlett-green-rose]

Bruce knows what death looks like. It's not the sudden crack-bang of a gun and the sting of a bullet grazing his chest. It's not the hazy bitter taste of the Scarecrow's Gas or the laughter, screams and cries that follow long after. It's not even anything like the sudden flash of heat and light that swallowed Jason whole and left him with restless nightmares and hallucinations of the same.

No, death is nothing like that.

Death is the ticking of clocks, too distant yet too close. A soft, firm voice saying it's time, from right behind his ear before Bruce's training kicks in and decides No, it's not. and his body flinches and gunfire draws a line across the bat on his chest and not his heart. It's the dark purple of the Joker's suit, the icy blue of Dr. Freeze's skin, the infinite shades of green of Poison Ivy's plants and the fleeting droplets of blood flying from him every time he confronts his Rogues directly. It's both the cold that digs into Bruce's bones even when he's in the middle of a burning building and the ever present chill of Gotham numbing what little of his face he shows it. Sudden, yet always there and all encompassing; it's honestly more likely for him to find himself without his own shadow than the cold that haunts his every step.

There's a reason as to why the grandfather clock in his office leading to the Cave is broken. A working clock would be more inconspicuous, but Bruce... can't. The day he implemented the opening mechanism to a working clock, he barely lasted an hour before he broke it again and lied to Alfred about it.

The Spoiler's appearance on the streets caught his attention more than any other vigilante wannabe in Gotham did before, despite his lack of connection to her. He doesn't know why he was so surprised to see blue-grey eyes instead of red underneath her purple hood. But he knows the target that she painted on her back when she chose the Joker's colours and was more relieved that she accepted his help.

There's a reason as to why he updates the insulation on the suits almost as often as he does its technology. Part of it is because of Jason's death. (All of the suits can help the wearers comfortably survive over double the heat that Jason suffered before he suffocated from the smoke in his lungs - he's added advanced rebreathers and miniaturised oxygen tanks to everyone's utility belts too.) But part of it is because he's sick and tired of Gotham's freezing winds biting into his bones.

He's not afraid of death - he's surrounded himself with the worst of what Gotham has to offer in his mission to save it, he can't afford to be afraid of death - but he's terrified of what he's leaving behind. Of leaving his mission unfinished, his children without a father, the Justice League without a leader.

Bruce knows they'll be fine, he's spent the many sleepless nights he's not patrolling Gotham fuelled by this fear working on contingency plan after contingency plan on what should happen should he die. He knows how the Colony would function, (Dick and Jason temporarily take over Batman's cowl, following a schedule that sees Batman fading into Gotham's shadows just as he entered it. Tim and Barbara work double time hunting down and erasing every mention of Batman and keeping Bruce's death from the public until a more convenient date and accident takes place. Stephanie and Cass takeover training Damian; Steph teaching him how to laugh and smile and Cass how to recover from the dehumanising aspects of assassin training. Alfred will be right there, as always, supporting the family. Until Batman is just a myth, an urban legend that preceded the reveal of Gotham's true heroes.) and how the League will be structured (Diana and Clark can handle themselves without him, there's enough branching Leagues that most of his plans are redundant). He knows they'll grieve, but they'll mourn better than he ever did. They have each other.

So, when Bruce finds himself facing down Darkseid and certain death, he's afraid but he's content. He's sure that even if hasn't saved Gotham, he knows that his family can do it in his place.

So, he stands still, breaks the moral chain he's upheld his whole life, and doesn't scream when his whole world goes green.

Well, this is quite the predicament you've gotten yourself into isn't it, Bruce?

There's a clock softly ticking next to his ear and purple gloved hand brushing his hair from his face. His breath freezes white, a stark contrast to the neon green skies that fill the rest of his vision. He's so tired.

Not yet, Bruce. I'm sorry, but not yet. You can rest though, even longer than you usually can, but you still have work to do.

He feel himself nod as he closes his eyes to listen to the clock. He thinks he can hear the shifting sands of a distant hourglass, maybe the quiet flow of a water clock. But most of all there's the pendulum, near silent if he wasn't directly next to it. Evenly swinging left and right, directing the flow of time.

He realises that this is what he got wrong, the grandfather clock in his office was too fast. He should try fixing that again when he gets back.

It's a long - but not nearly enough - time before the hand brushing his hair stops and he knows. It's time.

He hears the voice sigh.

I'm sorry Bruce, but I'm afraid you're taking a strange way back this time. Say hello to Daniel for me if you meet him. You shouldn't, but you'll know how he gets.

Time in.

Short DPXDC Prompts #549

Bruce has fistfought death before. He’s clung to life in some of the most hopeless situations. And whenever he’s terrified that he might not make it to see another day, a miracle of sorts happens and he makes it out alive. Little does he know that a certain time-wielding specter is ensuring his safety.

[ultrahpfan5blog]

Rewatching TDK Trilogy

Easily my favorite superhero trilogy and arguably one of my favorite trilogies of all time. I think in terms of superhero trilogies, Captain America is the one that comes closest because I love all three movies, but they aren’t a trilogy in the normal sense in that Civil War is essentially Avengers 2.5 and neither Civil War nor Winter Soldier can be understood without having watched Avengers and Age of Ultron. But even putting that aside, I adore TDK trilogy and it still ranks as my favorite superhero movies. The trilogy, obviously starting with Batman Begins, is what put introduced me to Nolan. I hadn’t seen Memento and Insomnia till then so Batman Begins was literally my first introduction to him.

I was always a big Batman fan as a huge follower of the DCAU cartoons with Kevin Conroy voicing a really badass Batman throughout the 90′s and into the early 2000′s. While I enjoyed the first 4 Batman movies as a kid, yes even B&R, I always wanted to see the more somber version from the cartoons. Batman Begins hit me at the perfect time where I started to have longer attention spans and wasn’t just looking for the next action scene. Rewatching the movie, it amazes me that Batman doesn’t show up for half the movie. I think that was a really brave call given pretty much all previous Batman movies introduced Batman almost immediately. I genuinely love all the prelude to Bruce becoming Batman. I liked that we got to see his training extensively and we are introduced to the city and see the dynamics of the rich and the poor, the police, the mob, the lawyers etc... It really gives Gotham a very grounded personality. I think Nolan really killed it at the casting level. By getting Caine as Alfred, Freeman as Fox, and Oldman as Gordon, he created a superbly acted support structure around Bruce/Batman, so we aren’t just always waiting for Bruce to show up. On top of that, they had Liam Neeson as Ra’s, who is effortlessly compelling, as well as other strong supporting actors like Cillian Murphy as a scene stealing Scarecrow, Tom Wilkinson as Falcone, Rutger Hauer as Earle etc... All giving personality to a difference facet of the city and Bruce’s life. But this truly is Bale’s movie. I didn’t know him at all prior to this film, but I have been a fan ever since. He carries the movie on his shoulders and he delivers the ferociousness of Batman and the humanity of Bruce Wayne effortlessly. If there is someone who doesn’t make a big impression, its Katie Holmes. I didn’t find her terrible, but rather the character isn’t exactly well written which bleeds into the next movie with Maggie Gyllenhall as well. My favorite Batman performance. Rewatching, what surprised me the most is the amount of humor in the movie. This is actually reflective of the entire trilogy. The movies deal with darkness and death, but there is actually plenty of humor sprinkled throughout these movies which prevent it from being dour. There have been a lot of superhero origin stories, but this still remains the gold standard of superhero origin stories. A 9/10 for me.

There is nothing I can say about The Dark Knight that hasn’t been said a 100 times over. It quite literally is the best comic book movie of all time. But it basically is at heart a drama about Gotham. Whereas BB acts as a character centric piece, this film is about all the characters living in Gotham. Arguable, the character that has the biggest arc in the film is Harvey Dent. Again, the casting department knocked it out of the park with the casting of Aaron Eckhart as Harvey Dent. Unfortunately, Eckhart never really capitalized on his performance here because he really was terrific in the film, both as Harvey and as Two-Face, to the point where you wished you had more of Two-Face. Gary Oldman gave his best work in the trilogy in this movie. The desperation as the situation spins out of control is fabulous. Freeman also has a very meaty role in the movie and continues to add a lot of weight to the scenes as well as plenty of humor, as does Michael Caine. Christian Bale continued to be terrific. There were some complaints about his voice, which I feel have been overexaggerated over the years. I definitely think his Begins voice is better, but barring one or two scenes, I never really had an issue with Bale’s voice in this film. He delivers a very nuanced performance. Maggie Gyllenhaal took over from Katie Holmes in TDK and while I think she is a far better actress than Katie Holmes, I think the character itself is not very well written. In both movies, Rachel comes off as very judgmental. Whereas in BB I can understand her reason in being so, given Bruce was ready to commit murder and later was out being a playboy in front of her for the sake of appearances, in this movie she is judgmental towards Bruce even though she knows what he has been doing to help the city. Also, she did come off a bit flaky in the whole Bruce/Rachel/Harvey triangle. And then there is Heath Ledger. There are very few performances that I consider perfect. This is one of them. I think every choice Ledger makes in this movie, be it intentional or unintentional, works amazingly well. Like him licking his lips to keep the make up on. It just adds a creepy quality to his character, even if it is completely unintentional. There are so many ticks and quirks in Ledger’s performance that make this a phenomenal performance. I don’t see any villain performance having matches that since 2008. I think the closest I have seen prior to that is Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal Lector in Silence of the Lambs. It really is a performance that adds such a big extra edge to the movie. I love that Nolan sticks to certain details such as Bruce never actually drinking alcohol and throwing it away at the part and then Joker showing up and taking a glass and him spilling almost all of it. It gives a lot of personality to the characters. If I have any complaint about the movie, it is that Bruce does at times feel like a stationary character as he does not have as big of an arc as a Harvey Dent. And if you want, you can pick apart the holes in the series of events that happen that cause the chaos. But the drama of the film is just so intense that you forget all of that behind. I give it a 9.5/10

The Dark Knight Rises to me is the film that gets often maligned just because it isn’t TDK. And that is a crazy yardstick to compare it to. But as a movie on its own, its pretty damn awesome. TDKR is where the film truly steps away from being a version of the comics to being an Elseworld story with Batman having been absent for 8 years and then Bruce retiring and leaving Gotham at the end of the movie. But I don’t think there was any way for Nolan to close out his trilogy without it becoming an Elseworld story and it really didn’t matter because I always figured that as long as Bruce is out there, if Gotham needed him, he would come back. Its not as if there aren’t existing comic book stories of Bruce having retired or left being Batman behind. Again, there is some superb new casting. JGL ends up being surprising integral and he is terrific. Tom Hardy is awesome as Bane. He manages to provide a terrifying presence. I actually loved his voice. I love that a terrifying brute of a man has a polite, gentlemanly sounding voice. It gave him a unique personality. Marion Cotillard is pretty good as Talia/Miranda. She has an awkwardly filmed death scene but she’s good throughout the rest of the film, particularly during the reveal scene. But the casting of the movie for me was Anne Hathaway as Selina Kyle. I knew Anne Hathaway mostly from the Princess Bride movies till then even though she had gotten an academy award nomination by then. But I really didn’t envisage her as Selina Kyle but she blew me out of the water with her performance. She was seductive, yet very likable. I love the clever costume design of her goggles looking like cat ears when she puts them up. I also love Nolan’s version of the Lazarus Pit. Certainly Bruce’s climb out of the pit is one of the most compelling scenes of the movie. You truly feel the emotion. The film also has one of the best acted scenes I have scene between Michael Caine and Christian Bale in the hallway. Its the scene I remember first whenever I think about TDKR. Oscar quality acting by both in that scene. The returning cast is all terrific but Michael Caine has a few gut wrenching scenes, including this one and the scene at the funeral at the end. Oldman and Freeman continue to be stalwarts throughout the movie, I really admire that Nolan did not waste these actors and given them very substantial roles in all the movies and all these actors really respected the material to not sleep walk through the roles. I think Bale’s performance here rivals his performance in Begins. Particularly in the scenes in the Pit. You get to see a full range of emotions, from pain, to despair, to anger, to hope. Its a superb performance. The film isn’t flawless. Its just a tad too long and there is some clunky editing at times. None of the three films can be said to contain very memorable action sequences because Nolan is not known to have great action sequences in his film until more recently, but the drama in the action negates that. Like, the Bane vs Batman fight where Bane breaks Batman, isn’t the greatest action scene in terms of fight choreography, but there is a lot weight to these characters which is what makes it incredibly compelling. Same is true to an extent for the climax at the end. When Batman beats Bane, I felt a sense of satisfaction after what I had witnessed in the previous fight. Overall, I genuinely feel that I love the last act of TDKR the most out of all three films. The Batplane, Batpod, and Tumbler chase scene was thrilling and it was cool to watch all three Bat vehicles in operation. The ending montage also ends the movie on a real uplifting note for all characters, which is very satisfying. I really love the movie. A 9/10.

It has to be said that Zimmer’s score across all three films contributes enormously to these movies. All in all, these set of movies are still my favorite superhero movies and my favorite Nolan movies till date.

[dokidokivisual]

Gochiusa BLOOM episode 5 impressions

Previously: 4 - 3 - 2 - 1

Welcome to another installment of my Gochiusa BLOOM episode reviews. At the end of last episode Cocoa finds out about Chino’s intention to go to her school, so this episode opens with some sort of ceremony to celebrate this fact. Despite a reference to alcohol, this ceremony might seem innocent, but it actually has a dark connotation...

First off, Cocoa is asking if everyone is holding a sakazuki. Sakazuki is a special traditional sake cup, which was apparently so important that it even has its own kanji  盃. A real sakazuki is actually more like a saucer than a cup, and holds very little alcohol. The girls are holding regular coffee cups, while pretending they are sakazuki. But what is the importance of sakazuki here?

The hint comes from Chiya’s description of the ceremony: 義兄弟の盃 (gikyodai no sakazuki) which literally translates as “sake cup of sworn brothers”, though kyodai can be used for siblings of any gender. The origin of this type of ceremony lies in Chinese 14th century novel Romance of Three Kingdoms, where the so-called Oath of the Peach Garden has transpired between three major characters. However in modern times, this type of brotherhood ceremony is mainly used by organized crime syndicates known as yakuza. So what you’re supposed to be seeing in this scene is literally Chino being initiated into a gang. If you’re interested, here’s a video of gikyodai sakazuki ceremony of Yamaguchi-gumi, the largest yakuza organization.

The ceremony is interrupted by Aoyama Blue Mountain who somehow got behind the counter. Soon, Mate Rin comes in looking for her, but she’s already gone. Before this point I didn’t know yet what the part B of the episode will be about, but this intro definitely provides a hint about it. Rin also gives a business card to Chiya, but it’s a bit difficult to read. Thankfully, there’s a better shot of it later in the episode.

Cocoa remembers there’s a marathon tournament, and Chiya is horrified when she learns that it involves running. However Cocoa persuades her that as Chino’s recently sworn older sister and senior she should run the whole distance.

Chiya’s motivation for participation in marathon was changed compared to the manga, the chapter in question (vol.5 ch.7) opens with Cocoa and Chiya doing exercises during PE class (a scene sadly cut out from the anime) and has to deal with Chiya and Cocoa’s friendship bond. This is why Chiya wants to finish the race with Cocoa so badly.

Chiya starts training by herself to get ready for the marathon. The location where she trains (some sort of clearing being overlooked by a bridge) is quite interesting, as it also appears in season 1 episode 5 (where Cocoa and Chiya practice volleyball) and Sing For You OVA where Chino uses the same tire excercise as part of her special training.

Ironically Rize thinks one tire is “too far” for Chiya, but 5 tires is ok for Chino who was supposed to train her singing. Anyway it’s quite interesting how some locations in town stay consistent, I wonder if the staff has a detailed map of them.

Despite having muscle pain from training, Chiya shows her resolve to finish the race to Cocoa. In this speech she mentions the Whirlwind (旋風) from the title of the episode (”On that day I will make Ama Usa An whirlwind blow”). Interestingly, the title of this manga chapter 千の夜を走る風となる (”run 1000 nights to become the wind”) also mentions the wind.

Cocoa also wants to train, and justifies her ability to wake up early with a helpful diagram (which looks as if she’s born directly from bread). To be fair, her justification that bakers wake up early does make sense, and she didn’t seem to have a problem to wake up in time in Dear My Sister. However when staying in Rabbit House, she definitely tends to oversleep, which happened this time too.

Rize and Chiya start training without her, and start playing shiritori to keep Chiya’s spirit up. Honestly this game appears in pretty much every anime ever, so should I even bother to explain the rules? Anyway, Rize names sweets that she supposedly overate, while Chiya names stuff that would be normally served at Ama Usa. However after saying いちご大福 (strawberry rice cake) she continues even though it’s Rize’s turn, saying 黒豆寒天 (black soybean jelly). This ends in “ん” (n) which is a losing turn in shiritori, since no Japanese words start with ん. Nevertheless, Chiya continues listing off Ama Usa desserts and eventually just switches to advertisement mode. Rize compares her to senden car which is a decorated truck that you can find driving around Japanese cities while blasting advertisements really loudly.

Rize introduces her stamp card here (which is an upgrade over her previous motivation techniques, such as the schedule in Dear My Sister), which gives Chiya an idea for an Ama Usa An stamp card. The reward for completing it is 90 minutes of all-you-can-drink piping hot oshiruko, which is a kind of soup made from red beans. The fact that it’s very hot was for some reason omitted from the official English subs, even though that’s what makes the deal especially ridiculous.

Cocoa still wants to train, so she asks Sharo to run with her. However when the morning comes she still can’t wake up on time. When Sharo talks about Chiya taking up jogging there is a montage of Chiya training with Rize, but at this moment Sharo doesn’t know that Chiya trains with Rize, which is why she gets jealous when it is revealed later.

Sharo’s orange phone with the dangling teacup charm was previously seen for example in season 2 episode 7. The exact model is “Kyocera Honey Bee 201K” and as you can see it’s accurately drawn down to the small details.

This is another repeatedly used Gochiusa outdoors location, seen for example in season 1 episode 6 when Cocoa and Tippy meet Aoyama, and in season 2 OP in the shot with Tippy, Anko and Wildgeese. This is where Rize wants to persuade Chiya to continue training, but Chiya isn’t having it. In the manga this is where Rize pulls out her stamp card (almost filled out) to persuade her, but in anime version we never see how many stamps she acquired.

The marathon starts and we see some of Cocoa’s classmates from the previous episode running by. As expected, Cocoa ended up being less fit than Chiya and had to hold on to Chiya’s twintails to keep up. The manga doesn’t actually show them finishing the race, so watching whether Chiya would be able to cross the finish line was quite suspenseful.

After the race, Sharo is disappointed at being left out, but Rize invites her for special training right away. Rize seems to be interested in some triathlon competition and tried to invite Chiya earlier, but Chiya was scared off by the mere name “triathlon”. A triathlon competition features running, cycling and swimming. Sharo is actually better than Rize at swimming (see season 1 episode 8) and perhaps Cocoa is the best at cycling.

We never see how these two trained, but in the manga there’s an additional illustration at page 65 of volume 5 which shows how it may looked like.

Now the “carefree breeze” part of the episode starts, and it’s based on volume 6 chapter 3, making it the first chapter from volume 6 to be animated. Even though there are 9 chapters between part A and part B of this episode, in retrospect it makes a lot of sense that they were put together. For one, they feature a lot of running. And there are a lot of outdoor locations. Such as the park where Cocoa and Chiya meet off-duty Aoyama.

You might recognize it as the same park where Cocoa meets Aoyama for the first time in season 1 episode 6. In season 2 episode 8, Cocoa and Chiya also walk through this park when returning from school. 

Cocoa and Chiya think Aoyama is going on a date (this is more explicit in the manga) but it seems she doesn’t have anything to do and just dressed up nicely for the sake of it.

She wants to play tag, which in Japanese is called oni-gokko and oni (a demon) is the one who’s chasing the other players. The role of the demon is relegated to Mate Rin who comes to Rabbit House for the second time this episode to search for Aoyama. This time we get a better look at her business card.

The name of the publisher is Seironsha (生論社 - the first kanji is not visible here, but is visible in the manga). Usually publishing companies in Kirara series are parodies of Houbunsha but not this time. I couldn’t find the reason behind this name anywhere. There’s a word “Seiron” which means “sound reasoning” but it’s spelled with different kanji (正論). There’s also a publisher Rironsha (理論社) although it seems pretty obscure. Also a fun fact: Aoyama’s book Bakery Queen (seen in Dear My Sister OVA) had a different publisher 走兎舎 (”Soutosha”?) which means “running rabbit house”.

Rize, Chino and Rin form Shin-furimawasare-tai (“the new at-their-mercy corps”) which is a reference to season 2 episode 8, as well as a few character songs recorded by Rize, Chino and Sharo as Furimawasare-tai. It seems that Sharo is sidelined a lot in this episode...

Next there’s a montage of them unsuccessfully chasing Chiya, Cocoa and Aoyama, which shows off various locations in town. They are not necessarily just random spots. For example the stairs with the statue and the fountain are actually right next to each other, as can be seen in Dear My Sister.

Then they spot Aoyama riding a gondola (a somewhat fancier one than in the beginning of episode 3) and Tippy falls off Chino’s head. Which doesn’t happen nearly as often as you’d think it would. Last time (season 2 episode 6) it also involved boats...

Cocoa, Chiya and Aoyama make a pact to be caught together, but it falls apart rather quickly, as Cocoa gets lured by Chino. The scene of Cocoa being captured was quite expanded compared to the manga, with Chiya and Aoyama trying to discourage Cocoa from falling into the obvious trap, and then lamenting her “passing”. 

Despite the earlier pact to be caught at once, Aoyama and Chiya split up and Rize ends up chasing Chiya. This is where the marathon chapter is referenced, as the teacher ends up chasing the student. Chiya was able to keep up for a while, but hits the dead-end and surrenders to Rize.

Meanwhile Cocoa, Chino and Rin go to some sort of fair, where Sharo finally appears, performing as Phantom Thief Lapin. Rin, being a fan of Lapin comes closer and discovers Aoyama already sitting there, who seems to like Sharo a bit too much... 

I also wonder where did Tippy come from, because it didn’t seem like Aoyama carried him while running away earlier. Next we see the infamous rabbit carousel, which looks even weirder when CGI animated.

It’s evening now, but if you look back at Rize chasing Chiya scene it’s clear that the sun is already beginning to set by then, and the sky becomes darker in the Lapin scene. There are all sorts of colorful lights in the background, which creates a proper fairgrounds atmosphere.

The lighting gets even more fairytale-like as everyone gets on the carousel, with bokeh effect being created by all the lights at the fair. Interestingly, the word “bokeh” comes from Japanese where it means “blur”. This entire scene looks quite amazing with CGI and special effects blending in with 2d animation very well. I bet it used up more budget than the rest of the episode, but it was worth it.

One of the interesting shots here was this one, with Chiya riding alone and looking pensively at Rize and Sharo, which made me feel bad for her. At least in the manga version, Chiya was riding with Rin so she didn’t look as lonely.

Aoyama and Rin are reminiscing about their past, and there’s a flashback of Aoyama in high-school uniform thanking Master (Chino’s grandfather) for lending her a fountain pen (a callback to season 1 episode 9 where she loses this pen). Unbeknownst to her, Master is sitting right in her lap, as Tippy. Maybe if Aoyama kept track of when she hears Master’s voice and Tippy is around, she’d have figured it out by now...

Anyway, that was another great episode of Gochiusa BLOOM, and check in next week for my review of the next episode which is coming out this Saturday. Seems like it will have more rabbits than usual...

[recurring-polynya]

Bleach Sword Beasts Arc Recap: Episode 260

Yuppp, it’s time for the Kazeshini Befriends a Baby episode.

Friends, I know someone’s gonna yell at me for this, but honestly, I remembered this one being better. I mean, obviously, the idea seems like comedy gold, but as I was watching it, I felt like they had this concept and then just... failed to ride with it. Like “It’s Kazeshini.... and a baby! It’s hilarious!” without actually being hilarious. Regardless, I know people would be disappointed if I didn’t cover this one, because it is beloved, so I will do my best.

Ep opens with Hisagi Naruto-running through the woods while Kazeshini cackles, so I guess that counts as a strong start, but it’s literally just footage they re-used from the episode where they fought back during the Muramasa rebellion. I gotta say, if I went to shinigami school and trained with the blade, etc, and then found out my sword spirit was a crazy murderer who hated me and would absolutely not help me in any situation, I would take some night courses and become a shinigami bartender. I would not “deal with” some stupid death pinwheels that scared me. I would simply pursue another line of employment. I would also not get the sex number tattooed on my face, so these are just a few of the ways I am different from Hisagi Shuuhei.

I guess that was supposed to be an actual flashback, because then it cuts to Ikkaku, Iba, Izuru, and Shuuhei running through the woods. What a friggin’ dream team. Ikkaku and Iba are on exposition duty, and thus we learn that they are off to Rukongai to fight some sword beasts who are starting shit, as is their wont. They get attacked by Kazeshini and Hisagi sighs and tells everyone else to go on ahead with exactly the same inflection as an absentee dad in an 80′s film who just remembered he can’t go to the game because he has to pick up his son from soccer practice. It’s now Kira’s turn to provide some exposition, and he explains to Iba and Ikkaku that Hisagi’s zanpakutou is, as they say, a huge bitch. He voiceovers his own flashback to the time he totally beat Kazeshini and looked super cool. Iba and Ikkaku agree: Wow. Kazeshini sure is a huge bitch.

Shuuhei and Kazeshini fight for a while, but Shuuhei is so, so tired, and finally he’s like “Dude, I am at work, can we do this later?” and Kazeshini gets mad and pouty.

I really like the next part where Hisagi runs up to some Kira and Iba who are standing around in Rukongai, which is smoking, and says “Sorry I’m late.” Ikkaku is nowhere to be seen draw your own conclusions. It is no wonder the Rukongai dwellers hate Soul Reapers, I would definitely be printing up anti-shinigami propaganda if I lived in the Rukon.

I am sorry, I can’t stop taking screenshots of these goons, I love them. Ikakku shows up and says they were all too late, it was like this when we got here. Whatever you say, man.

Cut to a cliff where Kazeshini is gazing over the smoking town, and Haineko, Hozukimaru and Wabisuke roll in to give him some life advice. Look, the best thing about this arc is the great care and attention they give to pointedly ignoring that no one ever made up zanpakutou for some of the shinigami. Maybe you won’t notice, they say, that we never show Iba’s zanpakutou. He surely has one and it definitely has a name, look, here’s a catgirl! God, I would give my liver to get the backstory on Iba’s zanpakutou. I hope it’s just Ray Smuckles from Achewood.

It turns out this is an intervention, the other zanpakutou are as sick of Kazeshini’s shit as Hisagi is. They are literally just like “what is wrong with you man?” and then say he can’t come to the cool parties down in the zanpakutou cave anymore if he can’t get his shit together. (Do you think Byakuya is still invited to those? I mean, I am sure he doesn’t go). Kazeshini yells “You’re not MY DAD!” and jumps off a cliff.

Kazeshini attacks Hisagi again while Hisagi is in the middle of a fight with an actual sword beast. Hisagi is really fed up by this time, he’s busy and this is getting pretty tiresome (to us, the audience as well). He throws Kazeshini through a wall, yells “I don’t have time for this” and gets back to business. Kazeshini is upset because no one is paying attention to him and goes looking for Hisagi. What he finds instead is a sword beast murdering a dude. The sword beast calls Kazeshini a dog of the Soul Reapers so Kazeshini stabs him in the friggin’ face, the first time this episode we have seen Kazeshini’s commitment to murderin’ dudes. Of course, the sword beast was in the middle of his own murder at the time, and the poor dude bleeding out on the floor begs Kazeshini to take care of his infant son.

I am presuming it’s his son. He could have been stolen that baby. Maybe they were just roommates. I don’t know how babies work in Soul Society and every time I think about it, it gives me a headache. Anyway, the baby has appeared.

To be perfectly honest, the dad didn’t even look that hurt and Kazeshini doesn’t know how much blood people are suppose to have in them, I bet he was just faking to get rid of this baby.

Kazeshini deadass looks this baby in the eyes and in a gravelly Clint Eastwood voice says “Look, kid, the only thing I am interested in is reaping lives” and I laughed my ass off, this is the actual funniest thing that happens in this episode.

The baby starts crying because Kazeshini won’t let him touch his death pinwheels, and the Soul Reapers hear it and start to run over. Kazeshini yells “I guess I have no choice!” grabs the baby and scrams. He had... no choice. He is very committed to murders, but he had no choice but to leave the baby sitting on the ground for 30 seconds before some authority figures ran up and found it. No. Choice.

GOD, I would give anything to see Iba, Ikkaku, Kira and Hisagi try to take care of a baby. Iba would try to get the Shinigami Women’s Association to take it and they would refuse. He would put the baby in sunglasses and one of those chest wraps. Ikkaku would try to teach the baby to fight, while Kira shouted “You can’t teach a baby to fight!” Hisagi would try to read a book on childhood development and get some Bad Ideas. Eventually, Ukitake would show up and take the baby away from them. I would give you all the money in my pocket for this, Bleach writers, but NO.

Kazeshini tries to talk the baby into going off and getting a job or something, but that doesn’t work. He tries to abandon it and... fails, I guess. He goes back to the cliff where the other zanpakutou show up to laugh at him and refuse to help, as well they should.

The baby cries because Kazeshini won’t let him touch his scythe thingies, so Kazeshini let’s him touch them. a) of all, this is not how parenting works, Kazeshini, and b) why does Kubo/whoever wrote this episode think babies love sharp objects, because this is exactly how the scene where Zaraki meets Yachiru goes. I have had babies. Do not get me wrong, babies love things they can hurt themselves with, mine particularly loved power cables, but I do not think they are generally interested in weaponry, but then again, this is Bleach, so it’s probably just a sign that this kid is going to grow up and be a Soul Reaper. I think this is the part of the episode where I started speculating where the baby would get his ‘69′ tattoo, because clearly, the cycle continues, and my husband made me shut up because he didn’t want to think about it, but search your heart, you know it’s truuuuuuuuue. If they ever do a Bleach Next Generation series, this kid better show up and he better have that tatt.

The baby pees on Kazeshini.

There’s a montage of the baby further harshing Kazeshini’s Hisagi-bothering lifestyle.

Then, Kira tells Hisagi that “there’s a rumor going around the zanpakutou about yours.” Why are the zanpakutou telling Kira their rumors. Do Kira and Wabisuke hang out? I mean, all of these takes place within, like, 2 hours, I think? While everyone’s on a mission? I don’t care, now I’m just mad that we got robbed of a Kira & Wabisuke episode where they listened to a bunch of The Cure together and made a poetry chapbook.

Kazeshini really, really wants to fight Hisagi at this point, but the baby has fallen asleep. He tries to leave it on a roof, but the baby rolls off the roof. Maybe it’s because I have kids, I dunno, but none of these antics are really funny to me, they’re just dumb. Literally, why doesn’t he just leave it on the ground?? All of these jokes revolve around him being an idiot and not caring about the baby, but he could have not just taken it in the first place. (there’s one point where he does try to hook it on a tree branch and that was funny, because we always talked about putting hooks on the wall that we could hang the babies on, just, like, for a minute, they would have loved it). Anyway, he spots a shed on the edge of town and decides that would be the perfect spot to abandon a baby while he murders his master.

Fight time! God, I love a Scooby Doo sequence where you have different characters running up and down streets and in and out of doorways, and there is a delightful one of Iba, Ikkaku, Kira and Hisagi fighting sword beasts. I cannot believe I am more delighted by the lieutenant parts of this episode than the Kazeshini parts, but that’s just who I am now.

We actually get to see some competent Hisagi fighting. Kazeshini is about to jump in and mess him up again, but the baby starts crying back in the shed. (it’s so far away??? How does he even hear it???)  I guess he cares now, so he runs back to go get his kid. In the meantime, a nice lady has found the baby and is attempting to comfort it, except that the moment Kazeshini slides into the doorway she... drops the baby? The baby is comforted by hugging Kazeshini’s pointy shoe, and Kazeshini realizes that perhaps this woman will be an incompetent enough parent to take over in his stead.

Oh no a sword beast attacks him from behind! I guess it’s the one I thought he killed earlier, because it says “Oh, it’s you, the Soul Reaper’s dog!” Kazeshini isn’t even good at murdering, wtf? This episode is dumb.

Anyway, Kazeshini stabs the sword beast, and it definitely dies this time. He has an intense moment of realization that saving people is almost as cool as murdering people, and tells the lady to take the baby and run. The baby cries while a very intense guitar chord plays.

Kazeshini finds Hisagi, who is killing the last of the sword beasts, and is like “Okay, I promise not to attack you from behind can we fight now?” The episode then goes full-bore D R A M A, where they say “Reap--!” at the same time and there’s a smash cut to T H E  S K Y  and a woman singing a lullaby with some haunting reverb and then it intersperses imagery of the woman comforting the crying baby in a field full of floating dandelion seeds and Kazeshini and Hisagi fighting. At this point, if the episode doesn’t end with them each dying on the ground, I am going to be deeply disappointed. (Spoiler: I am deeply disappointed).

There’s a pretty good death pinwheel-on-death pinwheel fight, although it’s short. Hisagi stans gotta take what they can get, I guess. Anyway, at least Kazeshini ends up lying in a pool of his own blood, where he mumbles “When I turn back into a regular zanpakutou... what will we fight for?” and Hisagi replies “We will fight to protect people” and Kazeshini makes this face:

This was the second funniest part of this episode.

He turns back into swords and that’s the end.

In canon, the bit about Hisagi fearing his own blades is an interesting bit of character building, that fits in nicely with his admiration of Tousen, and the fact that he’s a bit of an artsy, writer type. It builds up the idea that Soul Reapers are not just bloodthirsty warriors, but people with morals and concerns, that they fight to protect, just like Ichigo does.

This episode in no way contributes to that idea. It’s more like the writers say, “Hey, people love Grimmjow! Let’s make a yell-y guy who likes to kill people!” Why does Kazeshini want to murder so badly? Who hurt him? He’s part of Hisagi’s psyche, but why? Why are either of them like this? In my head, prior to this, I could think of Kazeshini as a disembodied voice encouraging the escalation of violence. Hisagi was weak and powerless as a child, and then, in one of his first command positions, had a group of underclassmen in his care brutally attacked and a friend killed. I can see him having urges to go to extremes-- to get revenge, to kill monsters before they can kill innocents, but he fears these urges within himself, he fears becoming a monster.

The way this filler arc portrays Kazeshini doesn’t fit. It doesn’t work. Kazeshini is just a dirtbag who wants to kill and attack from behind and then they give him a baby and they don’t even have anything interesting to say about any of this. It’s honestly just disappointing. That’s right. I’m disappointed in you, Bleach Filler Episode about Kazeshini Toting a Baby Around. C-. It’s not quite the level of disappointment I had over the one where Renji blew up Urahara’s van, but Hisagi fans really don’t get thrown a lot of bones, and they deserve better than this.

Oh, and then in the next episode voiceover, Wabisuke theorizes that the baby was Kazeshini’s lovechild. We definitely do not have time unpack all that, so let’s end it here.

[tfw-no-tennis]

hxh RESUME

back at it again w/the hxh, heres my recap of the last few eps 

ok so i totally forgot to recap that one ep at the end of the hunter exam arc lets see what i remember from like 3 wks ago lollll

i thiiiiink i left off in the middle of ep 21 lol. i really dont remember much tbh so im gonna skim the ep to refresh

exposition time! its so wild that if you lose ur hunter card That It like u cant get another or retake the exam hgabjdfuhasjf Ls 

also the fact that you can sell it is rlly interesting 

leorio & kurapika backing up gon as he confronts illumi again :’) good lil family 

illumi u fool. gon is a shounen protag. he can do anything he sets his mind to

the fact that gon thanks illumi for telling him where killua is....hes literally THAT polite like...what a perfect boy 

hisoka just fuckgin stepping out of the shadows....ok bitch 

the fact that gon fucked up illumis arm that bad with one hand....boi is STRONK 

AUGH AUGH AUGHHHH HISOKA IS SO CREEPY AUGHHH I HATE THIS BIIIITCH 

ok but like is illumi implying that hisoka is a fr p*do bc uhhhhh thats so nasty oh lord. pls stay away from gon, and killua, and like everyone as a matter of fact 

EWWWWWWWWWW I HATE HISOKA HES SO NASTY. PLS STOP MAKING P*RNO FACES IN RELATION TO 12 YR OLD BOYS. 

no but rlly what IS hisoka gonna do now. im assuming he’ll show up p soon (tho probs not in the zoldyc arc like i thought bc its shorter than i thought) 

ok the fact that they have the internet is hilariously wild to me for some reason....it just seems like this would be one of those fantasy shounen worlds with very little tech (a la one piece) but lol nope we can just google shit hvbhjdhjdfks

gon: it was fun when you beat me up for 3 hours and broke my arm! seeya dude!

i love gon he is so chill and doesnt seem to hold grudges except when it really matters (like hisoka and illumi) 

hanzo has.....ninja business cards....thats amazing hvbhsdjkujfnd

dont worry pokkle, leorio was basically carried thru the hunter exam by various people and also won by default. he still deserves his license tho

an exotic game hunter sounds pretty cool! i wonder if we’ll see pokkle again. kinda doubt it? that sounds pretty firmly non-combat based, and therefore probably pretty far from any plot lol

so gons dad is a bigshot huh.....whatever hed be a bigger deal if he didnt abandon his son tbh 

gon swinging his feet on the bench....sooo cute 

so ging could restore a bunch of ruins but he couldnt raise his son...ok

im just gonna be bitter at this guy for abandoning the most perfect boy vhbhjfbsjhdhbfsk sorry dude but being a good hunter doesnt make up for being a shit father 

gon is so precious ;_; 

WHAT WAS SATOTZ GONNA SAY TO GON???

why does it look like theyre googling things on MS paint 

ah yes, padokea, on the continent of Africa But Sideways 

idk if i talked abt it before but the world map is WILD lmao i love how its all the continents/landmasses scrambled around.....im super curious abt that weird island in the top center of the map, thats the only thing that immediately sticks out as not having a real life equivalent 

the music in this show is so charming :’) i love the main theme sm 

gon is sooo precious i literally cant get over it. and his hurry to rescue killua is so sweet....and i love how naturally charming/charismatic gon is....pretty much everyone he meets likes him, especially leorio and kurapika, who basically adopted him after knowing him for like a day, and continue to be completely taken by him

ok wtf is satotz & co talking abt......do they know something abt ging that they arent allowed to tell gon???? shouldnt gon have access to the same info now that hes a hunter? i need ANSWERS

i bet this whole thing abt the hunter exam not rlly being over is a metaphor abt the hunter exam NEVER truly ending bc youre always being tested, or st

ok the ED continues to be So Much like especially the last shot where the 4 main characters look like theyre posing for a JC Penny catalog while the singer goes FULL metal-screamo

ok ruth and i just rewatched the next two eps woohoo

i love that there are tourist busses that take people to the front gates so they can like pose for pics and stuff vhbhjafdsfkj and its like ‘ah yes here are where the local assassins live!’ thats so funny yet it makes so much sense

i love that leorio passed tf out during the bus ride. big big mood 

gon is so cute...hes like ok yes i understand that we’re not supposed to go in but i think they can make an exception for me bc im very polite. 

those 2 dudes r so ugly and so dead god bless

that bigass buster sword....sir please 

ruth and i rlly thot that the old guard guy was gonna turn out to be grandpa zoldyk or st lol

the fact that the dog managed to eat All their flesh but left some clothes....skill 

also the dog is named mike but it sounds like the guy is calling him miku hvbjdfssk

this cant be the first time some morons have been killed here likeeee 

i cant believe nobody has visited the zoldyk estate in 20 years damn they all rlly b havin no friends. depressing 

the whole gates thing is wild. also that part where gon gets the math wrong on the weight.....BIG mood kiddo 

ok the part where gons on the phone w/the butler is soooo good oh man. i love how gon just calmly dials the phone again after hes hung up on the first time and then YELLS....and leorio and kurapikas faces r so good 

also the butler guy unfortunately has a point, it isnt foolproof that gon is here Legit....but he IS let him see his tiny bf :( 

as ruth pointed out, the butler guy is reminiscent of kuro from one piece. same vibes 

maybe if leorio was jacked like he is in the manga/1999 anime he couldve opened the gate that first time around....Ls 

god i love this shows approach to Everything so far,....as ruth put it, half the time its like ‘oh wow they should do [x]/i wish theyd do [x] but ofc they wont cause its a shounen’ but then they DO do [x] and its like damn thats dope 

anyways i love how gon is increasingly approaching situations with his Plucky Shounen Protag Attitude in full swing, and he pretty much gets shot down every time. BUT his general determination to see killua bc killuas his FRIEND and hes gonna RESCUE HIM is still a good and pure motivating force 

like here, when hes climbing over the wall and hes like whatever i dont wanna have to deal w/being tested thats bullshit, i wanna see killua, my intentions are pure, im gonna try my luck with the dog....i was like ok yeah he’ll get over and like tame or defeat the dog and the guard will be suitably impressed bc nobodys ever done That before, and then gon will continue on to get killua 

but NOPE instead the guard calls him down and explains that gon Will Die if he tries that, and then the guard will die too for letting that happen. and gon is like oh shit my actions have consequences for people other than me, wow. 

and THEN the guard takes them in to meet the dog. and hot DAMN that is a scary creature. not even really a dog tbh. they did an excellent job making the dog Legit Scary and not just like, big and flashy looking....those eyes are so soulless, and the proportions are freaky 

and the guard says exactly what i was thinking - that gon would use his Country Boy Woodland Creature Skills to workaround the dog....but then the subversion - this creature is NOTHING like the woodland critters gon is probably used to dealing with. theres no way gon stood a chance here. the guard just saved him from a really unfortunate death 

i love all the Super Heavy Stuff in the servant house that seems so inconvenient vbhjdkfasjfld. also forgot to mention earlier but the guard guy being Absolutely Ripped was wild and kinda funny 

training montage! gon continues to be so cute. and i love so much how leorio and kurapika are like no, you rest, we’ll take care of this. good parents!!!!

and then!!!! they sync up and use the power of gay love to almost open the gate. but then gon uses the power of Improbable Shounen Protag Healing Speed to toss that arm sling off and help out

i feel like leorio was side-eyeing gon like w8 a sec u broke that arm like a few days ago that aint right.....

oh man i almost forgot abt that scene with the zoldyks torturing killua :( :( this poor kid he doesnt deserve that 

also mom zoldyck seems truly awful but i must say her aesthetic does fuck. the victorian-lookin outfit paired with the futuristic cyclops visor thing....excellent. also im betting this face bandages are from killua cutting her face 

this family is so fucked up hvbsjdhjfbakdfn

killua telling his mom that gon is definitely gonna make it there :’) hes got such unshakable faith in his bf thats so good.....

back w/the gang, and immediately they run into more trouble in the form of the young girl butler, whose name i dont know, but i love her....her design is SO good oh man. a non-caricature black person? who also isnt sexualized? in MY anime??????

 i love how gons approach to conflict is currently ‘let more powerful person beat me up for hours straight in hopes that they get tired or something idk bro’ like....i love him lol, is it in an effort to show how determined he is? he doesnt even try to dodge her blows or get around her....id be tryin to hop that fence lol 

oh shit the tiny zoldyk kid from earlier is spying on them....she was w/the mom so im sure thats not good

when he punches the rock part and it breaks....strong boiiii 

oh man that little flashback from when killua first came back and told her that he made a friend ;_; bruh 

i love butler girl :( she wants to let gon but knows it isnt allowed....and as soon as she starts to waver BAM here comes mom zoldyck JFC that was so sudden and jarring....im assuming butler girl isnt dead cause that would be lame and anticlimactic 

also IS THAT NEN??? NEN>>>??? NEN??? HM? NEN????????? 

im so annoying abt nen i need to make one of those ‘is this a pigeon?’ memes w/’is this nen?’ bc thats me anytime anything remotely weird happens lmao

i do think its rlly nen this time tho

anyways shit is wild, cant wait to meet the full zoldyck family 

PREDICTION CORNER: 

as i said above i doubt hisoka will show up now bc this arc is a lot shorter than i anticipated. also im doubting that illumis even gonna show up honestly 

i think we’re gonna have this OP for a while, as the part just at the end shows gon and hisoka fighting in what looks to be an arena, and ik the next arc is the heavens arena arc, which im assuming is the tournament arc....

also i have no idea what that weird building in the OP is but my guess is that its the building w/the heavens arena in it bc its tall and,,,,heaven 

i predict there wont be much fighting in this little arc bc how tf else is it so short. at this point i rlly think gon is just gonna grab killua and go lmao. im super curious abt how thats gonna go down, considering that killua is currently strung up just bc he wont apologize...so i cant imagine his family would just let him leave w/gon. i wonder if killua will fight them, or if gons determination will impress them and then theyll let killua go (doubt it)

thats basically it....we’ll see abt the next few eps holla

[usaghinanami99]

Hugh Jackman’s world tour: a personal comment

Hi, everyone! I know I'm a bit late, but I'm here to post a not-so-brief coverage of Hugh Jackman's world tour The man, the music, the show, or at least of the performance I've been able to witness myself. To be precise, I attended the concert held inside the Hallenstadion, Zurich, on the 19th of May, which, by a lucky coincidence, also happened to be my 20th birthday. It's been a long trip by train to reach Zurich, and I want to deeply thank my mum for being the kindest parent in the world and going through all of this just to give me the best birthday present I'll ever have had. Oh, please bear with my English, which is less than stellar, unless I’ve written something absolutely incomprehensible (in which case, please don’t hesitate to contact me!). I must say I’m very grateful that Hugh, knowing he was in a non-Anglophone country, purposefully spoke at a very slow rhythm. Thanks for being so considerate and kind. [Edited to put all this wall of text under a cut]

First things first, I have to say I had never been to such a big event, and concerts I had previously attended were nothing like this one. I mean, the only non-classical music concerts I had been to before were shows by Cristina D'Avena and/or Giorgio Vanni (who are Italian national stars specialized in anime theme songs), where the relationship between the artist and the public was completely different, in the sense that it was a given that, after the performance, they would have got plenty of time to meet every fan who wanted to do so for signing sessions, answering questions etc., with no additional price or need to preorder whatsoever. Well, things are obviously different when one's level of fame goes from "national" to "global", so what I felt was lacking more from Jackman's show was a real contact with the public... save a few horribly lucky exceptions. I mean, it's not like I thought he could do a signing session with over twelve thousand fans, but all in all, I reckon that seeing a concert with so little first-hand contact is not all that different than seeing said artist through a screen (which, BTW, we still had to do, since it was not humanly possible to see Hugh and the dancers from the furthest places without the aid of the maxi-screens). I'm sorry to have to start this post with a negative opinion, but I also have to say that this was absolutely the only bad thing about this concert; that, and the fact that Hugh always had a shirt on. Because, otherwise, I was totally blown away by the majesty of the music, as always happens when my ears are graced with hearing Hugh's fabulous voice, with the added bonus of the spoken intermissions, which were endless fun to listen to (and quickly translate to mum).

The show, as probably expected, opened in medias res, with no sort of introduction (apart from a very brief on-screen montage of various scenes taken from Hugh's filmography), but directly on the notes of The greatest show, which, thanks to the meta nature of its lyrics, may very well work as the most fitting show-opener of all time. The first verses of the song already worked very well when the film started at the cinema, but were no less than perfect to introduce a real-life show like the one that Barnum was about to start in-universe. Unfortunately, the version performed was the one from the official soundtrack – I say "unfortunately" because I prefer the film version, where The greatest show is actually two different songs and we manage to hear sad!Barnum's amazing verses at the end of the first part – albeit tweaked a bit to cut Zac Efron's solo lines out. Nevertheless, this song is breathtaking in every rendition, as are all songs from TGS, at least in my opinion, so I was still blown away right from the start of the show, and I remained in a state of hyper-excitation for its whole duration. After the show-opener ended, the first spoken intermission came, which made us understand from the get-go that this was going to be a little bit more than a normal concert, with the inclusion of these short but interesting comedic numbers by the star. This sketch consisted in a weirdly long declaration of the importance of numbers, which in the end was only functional to Hugh declaring in a depressed tone that he's fifty. A fact which matters not, seeing how he is still the sexiest man alive (disclaimer: I am not a gerontophile by any means, I usually lust over younger men and women, but Hugh's sexiness is something that transcends this, also because he objectively looks at least a decade younger than he is) and how insanely athletic he is for his age, a thing which we can confirm first-hand with all the crazy dancing he did on stage... and dancing while singing, may I add. And always with his shirt on, to boot. Man, that must have been hard. Oh, and he also said that, in case we were those horrible people who left before the show ended to have an easier time with the traffic, he would tell us when there'd be only two songs left. I wonder who on earth could have been that insane.

Immediately following this, Come alive came next, with its usual irresistible catchyness. The only negative side is that PT didn't actually put his red coat on in the epic and sexy way we see him do in the film, but I think I can live without that. I really liked the following transition, because, right after starting the show with his latest musical project, Hugh took us back to the start of his thetrical career, telling us how he still can't believe he won the audition to portray Gaston in the Sydney 1995 version of the Beauty and the beast stage musical (the theatric adaptation of the 1991 Disney Classic), seeing how he still had to take singing lessons. Now, the following part was my personal favourite of the whole show, given the fact that B&B is, in my opinion, the very best film ever created, as well as featuring my eternal OTP and sporting Alan Menken (the greatest composer alive) at the very highest of his career, who graced us with the most breathtaking songs I've ever listened to; oh, and Marjorie Biondo is my favourite singer on earth, to boot. So, you may imagine just how elated I was at the perspective of my favourite film meeting one of my favourite singers/actors! I had obviously already listened to Hugh's rendition of Gaston's songs from the official recording of the Sydney cast, just how I also watched Beauty and the beast in every language it's ever been dubbed into, because that's just how much of a fangirl I am; the only other film I've got such an extensive experience of is Frozen. That being said, I honestly reckon that Hugh's singing skills have dramatically improved during the almost-24 years that passed between that recording and this concert, even if he was already an excellent singer at the start of his career! Well, to put things shortly, Gaston was the musical number that followed, and it was undoubtedly the one that I enjoyed the most. The one performed was obviously the stage musical version, which is a bit longer than the original film version because of its lenghty dancing-only intermission; well, the crew didn't actually dance on tables, but the atmosphere was still there, thanks to Hugh being very in character as the sexy but sexist asshole that is Gaston, and the choreography involving tons of fake beer. That being said, since there was no LeFou present, the song was presented in a somewhat abridged rendition, starting from the "When I was a lad..." lines, but then recuperating some of the earlier stanzas and putting them out-of-order before the finale. The visual highlight of the number was Hugh lifting one dancer per arm to prove that Gaston has indeed "got biceps to spare", but sadly he didn't open his shirt like Gaston does in the film to show that every last inch of him's covered with hair. That was the saddest thing ever, imho. Still, I can confirm Hugh Jackman as being on the second spot in my ranking of the best Gastons ever, right after the inimitable Carlo Lepore, not to mention the fact that he's the sole and only baritone I can accept as Gaston. I mean, the character really needs a basso to fit his physical appearance and personality, especially in the film, and a basso also sounds much better in Gaston's songs, but Hugh somehow manages to make a baritone Gaston credible, like no other's been able to. Well, to be honest, maybe he's helped by the fact that he portrayed him in a stage musical and not in a film, so he didn't have to adjust his voice in order to be perfectly glued to the already-present face of a character; still, I regard this feat as something amazing, and you can't change my mind. As a side note, my mum, too, was quite happy during this number, because Gaston was pretty much the only song in the whole concert that she already knew; after all, you can't not know Beauty and the beast if you live with me, since I watch it obsessively every month (I'm still amazed by the fact that the videotape has never broken).

After an introduction with his own music repertoire, Hugh then went on to a small series of covers from different artists, starting with Fred Astaire's classic The way you look tonight (taken from the film Swing time), and on with other songs I had never heard him perform; which was a very nice surprise, because I really didn't expect to listen to anything new that evening! He thanked Switzerland for existing because that's where his parents first met (awww), which means that the country is very important for him, and thanked his public for being there for him, especially those of us who came by train or by plane – which means that Hugh Jackman thanked me, I'm definitely not delusional. But next time come to Italy, pleeease! After this, he performed I've been everywhere, which seems to be a popular Australian song where the singer mentions the hundreds of cities in the country that he's visited; this number was particularly hilarious because Hugh randomly added Zurich to the mix, and because, during an instrumental break, he asked the cameraman to show the audience the small screen where he could read the lyrics... seems that even Hugh Jackman is a human being after all, who would've guessed? Next came two songs from the film Dear Evan Hansen (absolutely watch it if you haven't!), which happens to be scored by the same Benj & Paul of The greatest showman fame, starting with the melancholy, but at the same time uplifting, You will be found, which was my personal favourite among the unreleased covers of this concert. The second song was the tearjerker For forever, a romantic ballad that Hugh aptly dedicated to his wife, and even played by himself on the piano, because apparently there's nothing this man can't do. The number was accompanied by pictures of Hugh, Deborra and their children on the screens, at which I literally couldn't not cry of too many feels... And, at the end of the song, she even went up on-stage to hug and kiss her hubby. Gosh, I envy her so much even as I still totally ship her with her husband, but really, Deborra Lee-Furness may very well be the luckiest woman alive. Returning to Benjamin and Paul, he then told us of how they composed and wrote This is me during a plane trip, one single day before a workshop where the film would be pitched. He then proceeded to recount the famous anecdote of how Keala Settle, who should've only sung this song at the workshop and wasn't to portray Lettie in the film, stunned everyone with her performance so much that she was immediately chosen for the role. This intermission, of course, served the purpose of introducing the night's special guest: the audience seemed to explode when Hugh announced Keala's entrance, to the point that I think that quite a few of them hadn't read that she would make an appearance. Anyway, even without her beard on her impression as Lettie is incredible, and her rendition of This is me was as breathtaking as always (incidentally, she also sang Tom's lines as well as her own). After her number had ended, she briefly thanked everyone who gave her the opportunity to play Lettie, and even the character herself, since she helped her become more determined, all while weeping tears of joy, which caused Hugh to cry, and... I can't. I just can't. These two are so amazing together and I want to see them in thirty more films singing and being happy one with the other.

After Keala exited the stage, a medley consisting of three songs from Les misérables started, introduced by footage from the film of Colm Wilkinson as the bishop giving Valjean the candelabra (you know the scene). The first part of the medley consisted of the aptly titled Valjean's soliloquy, which Hugh soloed with all the amazing skill we've already witnessed in the film. What I wasn't expecting, though, was for a background singer to own the spotlight as a full-on soloist: the second part of the series was none other than I dreamed a dream, in a rendition where a singer called Jenna Lee-James played Fantine. And, oh my gosh... I still have to listen to all versions of the stage musical, but what I know for sure is that I liked this performance even better than the one from the film (sorry, Anne!). I didn't think I would come out of a one-man show determined to check out a never-heard-before artist, but here I am, and it was definitely worth it; Jenna has got such a melodious, angelic voice, that I'm sure you'll be enchanted by her, too. The last number of the medley, as well as the closer of the first act, was One day more (which is already more or less a medley by itself, lol), where basically everyone had the opportunity to shine: since this is such a big ensemble number where almost every main character has got some solo lines, many different background singers managed to step out of the shadow and be recognized for their raw talent. While I'm somewhat sad that Bring him home wasn't included in the concert, this song was a truly satisfying act-closer, thanks to it epic proportions and majesticity.

After a well-deserved pause of twenty minutes for the artists, the second hour-long act opened with the cameraman gracing us with a glorious zoom-in on Hugh's butt (though I prefer his buttshots as Wolverine because here he was sadly wearing his trousers); it doubled as sexy and hilarious when the cameraman started to zoom out, only for Hugh to reprimand him and ask him to keep the focus on. By the way, at this point Hugh was already in-costume as Peter Allen, which means that he was wearing that absurdly sparkling jacket, so unfortunately it was a bit difficult to look at him without being blinded by all the *sparkle sparkle*. The initial musical numbers of the second act consisted in a series of freaking seven songs composed by Peter in various occasions and then posthumously used for the biographical stage musical The boy from Oz (I'm writing it here so that I don't have to repeat the various songs' origins every time), for which Hugh played the protagonist role in the Broadway version. The first one was obviously the legendary Not the boy next door, which was as spectacular as you can imagine, with the highlight consisting in Hugh taking the sparkling jacket off (for which my eyes thanked him in every possible sense) and spend the better part of the medley in a bright red shirt. All in all, this was probably the funniest number of the show; but then came the most irritating part, where Hugh invited a random man from the public to dance with him, and by "dance" I mean "being impossibly close and touchy-feely to the point that it was almost hard to distinguish where one ended and where the other started". I reckon it would've been sexy if the other person had been slightly hotter (for example, Hugh Jackman on Zac Efron brings infinite possibilities to mind), but he was just your regular middle-aged man, so no, there wasn't much fanservice for everyone except for him. I mean, Hugh even stroked. his. chest. Not fair. While rationally I know that it could never have been me because 1) I was as far away from the stage as you can get, since we bought the most economic tickets, and 2) he was in-character as Peter, so he needed a man, I'm still impossibly envious of this random man who's got the greatest luck of us all for no particular reason. Jeez, maybe I'm unneedlessly bitter, but I almost hope he's hetero, 'cause if he's either gay or bisexual, then he'd really have got the biggest luck of his life. Not-so-funny sketch aside, the show went on with a preposterous medley of songs from Peter's repertoire (and, indirectly through the musical, also Hugh's own) with no further interruptions: these were, in order, Best that you can do, the only one recycled from a previous musical, namely Arthur; Don't cry out loud, a pop song that Peter originally composed for a female voice, so it was a bit unexpected to hear Hugh sing it; I honestly love you, another pop piece, this one originally sung by Olivia Newton-John (which happens to be Hugh's childhood idol, by the way); Quiet please, there's a lady on stage, this one written, composed and sung by Peter himself; the iconic I go to Rio, where we found out that Hugh's red shirt actually concealed another layer of clothing – that is, the hilariously iconic pineapple shirt (and yes, he did use the maracas); and Tenterfield saddler, with which the medley closed. As previously mentioned, these songs were created by Peter for various different occasions, either for musicals or for more traditional albums, but were later reused for TBFO, sung either by Hugh-as-Peter or by other characters. All in all, this part was really enjoyable, and a totally deserved tribute to Allen's musical legend, even if one can question the inclusion of some minor pieces which kept the much more beloved I still call Australia home from being in the show.

After this, Hugh went on a speech about how dreams are important, and we know what this means: it's A million dreams time! The cutest thing is that this song was accompanied by a woman translating the lyrics into sign language... even though I must admit I struggle to conceive that a deaf would want to attend a concert, so the sense of the operation is a bit lost on me. Anyway, the version performed followed once again the soundtrack instead of the film, and once again I confess I prefer the latter, mainly because kid!Charity is also featured in it; on the other hand, it's true that the soundtrack version has got some additional verses, and the abrupt transition between the kid and the adult Barnum (which is much more nuanced in the film) is breathtaking. The parts were divided between Hugh Jackman as adult!PT, Jenna Lee-James as adult!Charity and another female singer whose name I'm desperately searching for as kid!PT. This song, which was already one of my absolute favourites, is still amazing in this rendition, but Jenna is possibly even better than Michelle (who is awfully talented in her own right), and now I really want to hear her sing Tightrope.

Following this, it was the turn for another long medley, this time a set of five covers from classic US musicals; this part of the show was introduced by Hugh confessing that he's got a very difficult upbringing... because there was only one TV channel when he was a kid, so he watched the same things over and over again (not that we do things differently even now that we can choose among many different channels), which led to his infatuation for old-style musical comedies. The songs composing this medley were: Luck be a lady tonight from the film Guys and dolls, then made even more famous by Frank Sinatra; Gene Kelly's preposterously famous Singing in the rain from the homonyme film, complete with fake rain and real umbrellas; I got rhythm from the film Girl crazy; Fred Astaire's Stepping out with my baby from the film Easter parade; and Benny Goodman's crazily-paced Sing sing sing. Needless to say, Hugh totally owned all of these songs, and I think this is the part of the whole show where his unadultered love for singing, dancing and generally being on stage shone through the most; of course the man is an excellent cinema actor, but you can clearly see that he's more elated when in a theatre or otherwise in front of an audience.

Immediately after came what was very probably the most physically prowing number for the cast, as well as the only non-sung one: after narrating that his brother was so much of an asshole that he discouraged him from taking dance lessons when he was a child, he proclaimed his happiness for having finally managed to study tip tap, which transitioned into a full-fledged tip tap routine with accompanying background music. This was admittedly the part of the show that I enjoyed the least, even if I did like it well enough (that's just to say how much I love this concert), because of the lack of singing and because I'm not the biggest fan of tap dancing. The funniest thing is that, at the end of the routine, Hugh exclaimed: <<Do you think that Ryan Reynolds could do that?>> and then did his Wolverine shtick using the battery sticks. Absolutely amazing. Oh, and after this exhausting number he turned back to drink, and even lampshaded the fact that we could take advantage of his tiredness to enjoy the view.

Then some brief footage from Australia was shown to introduce the members of a humanitarian organization called "Nomad two worlds", which made up the serious part of the show: the number in question consisted of a few men singing while two other men played the didgeridoo and a woman recited a poem. I should mention that all of these people were Aboriginals. After the end of the performance, it was explained to us that the woman who was on stage next to Hugh was actually a member of the Australian parliament who had a key role when their nation finally asked official forgiveness to the Aboriginals for the prosecution of their people. It was a very touching moment, indeed. With this over but still keeping on theme with Australia, Hugh performed a cover of Somewhere over the rainbow from the film The wizard of Oz (like his colleague and friend Nicole Kidman did in that film), and I wouldn't be lying if I said that I honestly prefer him over Judy Garland.

Then cam the most unexpected number of the whole concert, i.e., a cover of Mack the knife from Bertolt Brecht's Three-penny opera, which maybe would've fit better earlier in the programme; after which, Hugh actually told us that there were only two songs left, in case anyone wanted to leave early (I mean, does he think we’re crazy?). The following one was From now on, which I honestly expected to be used as the show-closer, but was nevertheless incredibly breathtaking; this is my favourite song of The greatest showman, in particular because it lets Hugh Jackman show everyone that he's truly the best belter of the world. From now on is also one of the two cases in which I prefer the soundtrack version of the song over the one from the film, since, like Tightrope, it features a bunch of additional verses. Unfortunately, though, Hugh performed an abridged version of the song, only starting with "I drank champagn with kings and queens...", maybe because it would've been difficult to hear him during the first part of the piece, which is sung while whispering. Anyhow, it was still exciting as heck, and the background dancers were even more amazing than usual. And, right when I was left asking myself what the final number would be, Hugh started singing another piece written, composed and sung by Peter Allen (albeit this time not in-character) and then used for TBFO; namely, Once before I go, which is incredibly fitting as a show-closer thanks to its lyrics. Thus the concert ended, with the main star, the special guests, the singers, the dancers and the orchestra bowing in front of the audience. I was appalled by the lack of an encore, and especially by the fact that no one in the public was apparently screaming for one like you usually do at a concert, but I was still utterly satisfied by the experience. Every member of the crew was simply fantastic, not just Hugh, and I'm very happy I've been so lucky to witness this show. ...I'm just still wondering why What a beautiful morning wasn't included in the programme, nor any other song from Oklahoma. That's jarring, I think.

Believe me, I would've totally stayed and bought some souvenirs, if it weren't for mummy, who wanted to go straight to bed; but, after all, she's already done so much for me, in exchange for nothing, that I can hardly believe it. She is the person I have to thank the most for this out-of-the-world trip and I couldn't be happier of being her daughter. So, many thanks to Hugh Jackman and all the others who made this concert possible, but even more thanks to the only one who made me being at this concert possible. Anyway, I simply cannot wait for Hugh to come back where he belongs to, now that his partecipation in The music man has been announced; I obviously won’t be able to go to Broadway to see the musical, but you can be sure I’m going to purchase the soundtrack album as soon as it comes out. What can I say, I love the man and I’m very happy he’s been able to realize both his personal and professional dreams.

If you've come this far, congratulations! I hope you've liked this totally unprofessional coverage, and I'd love it if you could link me to someone who's written a similar piece about a different performance, because I'm very interested in knowing how they differ between one another. Thanks for reading!

[malisonquill]

Rebuild: Behind The Scenes

I thought just for some fun, I might post the plan I made for writing Rebuild. It has some silly alternate titles, some doodles I sketched out, and I thought some people might like to see how much the end product was different from the plan. 

I do also have a section of the plan just for ideas, but I haven’t included it here because it contains spoilers for the sequel(s). 

Hope you enjoy my ramblings below! (Obviously it contains major spoilers for all of Rebuild, so make sure you’re read all that before reading this!)

Rex Brickowski AU Outline

C1: Rexile (AKA Anikin Voice: "I hate Sand". AKA What to do when you're suddenly not dead)

Rex ends up back in his own original timeline in the outskirts of Syspocalypstar. He’s alone, no Rexcelsior, no velociraptors. That makes him sad. 

He looks to the city and thinks about everything.

Cat lady comes, he gets bricks and builds and awesome bike  and drives to the city. 

C2: Shattered (AKA Rex really likes bikes for some reason and also fucks shit up)

There, Lucy and the others are chillin in a park while Rex tears through the city exploring, turning heads. 

He goes up a ramp that sends him up over a building above the park. Whilst in the air he grabs his bike and does a flip. The others watch him. He lands on the road next to the park and spots Lucy, his eyes go wide. He does a skidding turn to pull up beside them. 

They say how awesome that was. They don’t recognise him and he plays along with that. He needs to get used to them and himself before he drops a bombshell on them. 

They show him around the city. He gets a black coffee from the shop. Freezes when he sees a laundromat (PTSD), he hallucinates the deafening roar of the Dryar of Undar until Unikitty distracts him and pulls him away and they continue the tour. 

At one point Everything is awesome plays, he acts aloof but taps his foot quietly and lucy notices. 

Eventually they get to the town square. There is a statue of Emmet. Rex is immediately taken aback and asks what it is (to gauge his friends reactions and also because he's genuinely surprised to see he's been acknowledged). 

Lucy says it honours the special, Emmet. That he was there friend. That they looked for him for a while, but eventually had to admit that he was gone, so they stopped looking. 

BIG ANGST TIME.

Rex snaps. He’s still bitter. He starts off vauge like “You gave up? Would he have given up on you?” but gets increasingly louder and madder. Revealing that he was trapped in Undar, how he feels abandoned and slowly revealing to the others that he’s Emmet. Lucy is like “Emmet…?” And he’s like “Emmet is gone! He’s dead!” 

He breaks the statue in one punch in anger. His friends are horrified. He looks between them and the statue, shocked and saddened by himself. “What have done?” (Internally). He drives off, leaving the others sad and confused. 

C3: Traces Of You (AKA Talking to your ex who you feel betrayed you, even though she thought you were dead… that's rough buddy)

Alternate titles, How can you stand there, a whisper from me? Gone But Not Forgotten

After a short while, giving everyone some time to breathe/ think, Lucy finds Rex in the outskirts. They talk. He explains how he toughened up, how he did some terrible things, how he wants to be better but doesn’t know how. How he’s ruined any chance he had with his friends because of the statue incident. Tears form in his eyes. Lucy goes to comfort him with a hand on his shoulder and says “Emmet...” Queue the “I’m not Emmet anymore and I dont know how to be” line.

Lucy convinces him to not be just one, be a combination. That his friends can help him through this and him to be happier again. He says he’s still can’t fully/ needs time to trust them again, but he’s willing to try. Oh and to call him Rex, cause he wants to be different from movie Emmet. 

C4: Building Blocks (AKA DON'T TOUCH ME WHEN I'M WRITING ABOUT SPACESHIPING!!!!)

Lucy and the others ask Rex to build something with them. He decides on a spaceship, they let him lead. Friend interactions. 

C5: Time Heals All Wounds (AKA So it turns out you based your entire new personality on your friends and also you finally acknowledge your PTSD)

Over a longer time period (make this clear), montage of helping with each individual. Them understanding Rex and who he is more, maybe after he tries to act exactly like Emmet would but it’s unnatural for him? Finding out about raptor training. Helping him cope with his PTSD (Dryar, paralyzation, loneliness) and abandonment issues.

(after writing half the chapter, i realised) His hand injury and recovery mirror emotional healing! )

https://askmarietheapprentice.tumblr.com/post/183050688583/meta-monday-rex-dangervest-based-his-persona-on 

Order: 

Fist, alone with Benny, flying spaceship they all built. (Who Rex developed his spaceship love from.) Emotional thing dealt with: ?

Unikitty. He learnt to harness/ weaponize rage from. Unikitty encouraging him to release some anger and destroy some rubble. Helps him get his anger feels out.

Metalbeard. About being a captain of pirates/ raptors. Talk about how he misses them.

Batman. Learnt how to be tough fighter and suppress deep emotional issues. See below for events. Then they talk about talking through things with others, stuff B learnt in Lego batman movie.

Maybe he’s left alone for ten mins whilst a friend goes to grab a brick or something and is terrified they wont come back. He’s relieved but visibly shaken when they do return. 

Maybe a change over between friends. One has to go and leaves Rex to meet the batman outside of a shop. As he waits his mind wanders thinking Batman has forgotten about him, doesn't want to meet with him, or even like him etc. As this happens he hallucinates hearing the dryer roar. He stands frozen in place, covering his ears as his vision gets darker. Maybe this causes him to glitch to the real world and back every few seconds. The roar gets louder and louder and louder. Batman comes, sees Rex, is concerned and tries to get his attention by touching his shoulder. Rex freaks out, snapping out of his hallucination shouting/ screaming and madly thrashing punches. He smashes a bin or lamppost or car to pieces before Batman can calm him and he realises he's fine. Rex apologies.

Lucy. Made a super cool alias like Wyldstyle, and hides his insecurities under confident exterior like her. Maybe they talk on their way to her surprise. She asks why he changed his name and himself? He explains his thoughts on Undar, how at the time he thought his friends were right and so he toughened up. Made a cool name like she did. He realises a lot of his Rex traits are semi based on his friends. Maybe talk about how it's good to be confident but also not bad to be vulnerable/ talk about problems with others. He realises he's already been doing this with others? Or just have mostly fun not angst for them here!? Meh, idk yet.

Ends with Lucy giving him that cute little house he made for her, that he’d almost forgotten about. Says it’s just a basis and he can change it if he wants. Talk. Suggests they could be platonic (for now) roommates. She leaves him for the night, he’s now ok (ish) with being left alone. 

C6: True Colours (AKA Title made it sound like Rex would turn out evil but surprise! He actually just wanted to look pretty. AKA Rex stares in a mirror for an awkwardly long time)

When Lucy returns, Rex looks different. He briefly went to the Man Upstairs realm and used markers etc, to change his appearance. He wanted some brighter colours to look happier, and more like a combo of Emmet and Rex. He explains this, and decides he wants to be called Rex Brickowski to symbolise this combo of all his aspects. 

Basically this first bit is the man I used to be from count of Monte cristo musical.

(Rex and Lucy designs and also size comparison.)

Maybe some Rex and friends hanging out, it’s better than before. Group karaoke? Tries to warm up to Sweet Mayhem?

C7: Epilogue (AKA The end happens. Everything is awesome is still a bop)

Rex and CO are hopeful for the future. Rex knows who he is now and thinks he can be happy again and trust his friends. He’s a mix of mature and innocent/ sweet. He can now enjoy ‘childish’ things and tough things. He’s happy and thinks everything might be ok now. 

Maybe he goes to the coffee shop, orders Lucy something and a black coffee with 25 sugars for himself and returns home, listening to rock music on his headphones.

(End on poignant thing.)

Side Notes/ Reminders For Myself

“According to a draft from the first film's script, Emmet is 22 years of age in that film, thus making him 27 in the sequel if accepted.” My AU Rex spent 2 years on Undar, plus 5 getting tough before the movie happens. Making him 34 at the start of the AU.

Rex was in his past changing things. But when Emmet was saved, it was no longer his past/ his timeline. So he faded and was sent back to his original timeline. All the stuff he did in the movie timeline still happened, we see three raptors are still there with Ms Scratchen-Post at the end. So the raptors stay where they are in the movie timeline, because they aren’t like Rex who is being written out of the movie timeline’s future. Which is why Rex is alone at the start of this AU. 

Very important! Rex's trust of his friends. My take: friends are the most important thing to Emmet. With friends, he was happy even during the apocalypse. Without them, he becomes jaded, tough. Lucy is who he was closest to/ loved. None of his friends, but especially her not coming for him and moving on hurt him the most. As Rex, he was most mad at her (see him scowling at her during the movie). But then they all try to come back for movie Emmet. Lucy makes it through and saves him. She saved him. This changes post back to the futuring Rex's view. The fact the movie Lucy saved him plus the fact he loved her and cared for her the most before, means AU Rex is inclined to trust her most. 

Titles for 3 stories: Rebuild. Rekindle. Re-----. (I'm an idiot for planning 3 of these!!!!!)

Rebuild: Rex's relationships and himself up again. 

Rekindle: his and Lucy's love for each other. 

Re-----: ((REDACTED BECAUSE IT’S A SPOILER! You’re gonna have to wait to find out what it is!))

INFO

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aw-r_G7rfnU - Chris Pratt Singing

Dino facts:

https://www.psd1.org/cms/lib/WA01001055/Centricity/Domain/36/SS_How_Fast_Did_Trex_Grow.pdf

http://cycles.westinmathies.com/Info_Pages.asp?ptype=Velociraptor_Cycl

SPELLING = Armamageddon (according to the subs)

-----------------

And that’s it! This is the rambling mess that brought you Rebuild. Hope it was interesting to see.

As another note of my writing process, I did a lot of jumping around. If I had an idea for some lines of dialogue pop into my head, I wrote it down before I forgot and then slightly altered it and filled in the gaps later. In fact that whole bit between Lucy and Rex in chapter 3 was almost all dialogue (with a few notes like “He turned. She smiles” Etc in between) and then later after writing some of chapter 4, I went back and filled in all the gaps. 

I would really recommend writing down whatever pops into your head like this if you want to write things. You might think “Oh, i’ll remember to put this in when I get to writing here!”, that is a lie. You won’t. Or it’ll be different to that brilliant thing you came up with whilst day dreaming out a window. It’s definitely better to jot it down and have it, then decide to edit it later if you don’t like it, than lose it entirely. Just make sure when reading over your chapter/ story that everything flows together nicely. :)

This method also meant I wrote chapters 5, 6 and 7 simultaneously. I had about half of chapter 6 and 7 done whilst I was still making my way through 5. (Probably because 5 was so big!) But then when I was done with 5, I finished off 6, then 7. It also really helped when I came up with the idea to put the first line of the story as the last line too. It gave me a direction to go in for the last chapter (after Rex get’s back from the coffee shop) and also was a nice way to end it off. 

Anyway! Hopefully I see you all again for Rekindle! Which by the way, if there is anything involving the characters from this story that you might want to see, please let me know! I might just fit it in somewhere! :D

[80srockher]

Yuri on Ice Rewatch and Live-Commentary, Episode 1: Easy as Pirozhki!! The Grand Prix Final of Tears

*There are spoilers throughout.  I also make assumptions that anyone reading has already seen the episode or has a grasp of the content.*

Source: http://yurionicescreencaps.tumblr.com

The opening scene is so pretty.  Really sets a tone.  I went in knowing nothing about the anime first go-around, so I found Yuri and Victor’s grow/glow-ups montages interesting.  

This theme song is… not my favorite.  Maybe it’s the French horns?  That and too much synth.  I usually skip over it but want to give it a chance this go-around.

Heh, Victor and his gold blades to match his gold medal.  And his European af haircut.  Can’t remember the last time I saw an American past the age of 12 with bangs. No mistaking him for anything other than Eastern European.

Also, the poster on the left is for Victor, I believe.  Can he pull his leg that high in the air?  Was that featured and I forgot?  I’ll be on the lookout for it.

Also, looks like Jean JACK made it to Sochi and placed third here too, lolz.

Yes, please listen to your coach, Yuri.  Don’t poke the wound.  Stay off the internets.  ESPECIALLY the figure skating internets.  What little I remember from when I used to follow the sport is that it’s dramatic, to put it nicely.

I keep getting distracted by the utter Euro-ness of the Europeans in this show. The cut of Coach Celestino’s suit is so Italian I weep. He’s too smooth.

Yuri’s name tag has his name in Cyrillic as well?  Cute.

My first impression of Yuri was that he looks about 18 and that impression hasn’t changed.  Perhaps it’s the glasses, but he def looks youthful. I’m also someone who’s been accused of looking a decade+ younger than I actually am, so I can sympathize.

Speaking of sympathy – Yuri caved to pressure, binged ate before the competition while mourning his dog, then bombed his first trip to the Grand Prix final.  All in front of his idol.  Damnity damn damn.  Sorry, kid.

Is Cao Bin ever introduced on the show?  Something else I forgot, maybe?

Now, when I first saw this poor child crying in the bathroom, that’s when I knew the series was going to be much different from the light-hearted anime about figure skating I expected.  It got real deep real quick.

Yuri Plisetsky “The Russian Punk”.  Is this something the in-universe media refers to him as?  Because I only recall (JPN) Yuri saying it and only this once.

This screencap is during the scene where the journalist Marooka (sp?) is hassling Yuri about his future plans and instead of answering, Yuri can only stare at someone else’s puppy that reminds him of his dead Vicchan.

This baby is crying. Cry.ing.  This has been a tough day for poor Yuri, overall.

And he talks down to himself so much.  It’s all his fault he caved to pressure. He was an idiot to think he could meet his idol on the same playing field.   He’s come so far and still thinks so little of his accomplishments.

So, I understand this “one year later” is not really accurate, lol.  It’s just the new  year following the previous season.  I was confused initially about a number of soon-to-happen events before Yuri’s mental alter ego cleared it up.

So, per Minako’s voice actress, Yuri really is pronounced YOO-RI.  Cute.

Four Continents is… not a Grand Prix competition?  My figure skating knowledge is all rust now.

LOL, Minako does. Not. Play. And she wears a pinky ring.  My God, that death grip on poor Yuri.

It’s snowing outside the train station when Yuri and Minako leave.  So, it’s not unusual to snow in this region in March, but it’s highly unusual a month or so later. Man, hard to believe Yuri sat around for almost an entire month before the infamous video became viral.  More on that, later.

So, based on everyone’s interactions with Yuri so far, the only person who cares that he didn’t make it to the World Championships is him.  And he should care since he’s worked basically his entire life towards that goal.  But, he doesn’t appear to have let anyone down but himself, though he doesn’t act that way.

So, the fact that the family hot springs is named “Yu-topia”… did that influence Yuri’s name at all, I wonder?

Ha!  I wish I could have recorded the Japanese actor’s voice when he says this line.  He makes Yuri sound so done with it all, lol.  It’s the best.

Ok, so a number of very interesting and entertaining things happen in succession that I don’t feel like screencapping.  No hug between the littlest Katsuki and the senior Katsukis, even though he hasn’t been home in 5 years.  Fascinating. No doubt cultural (I’m guessing) but fascinating.  

Yuri’s mom basically calls Minako a drunk.  To her face. LOL.  But I imagine no one can get mad at this sweet lady.

Minako calls Yuri out on his weight gain in front of God and everybody.  Though, I think it’s more of a matter of his clothes no longer fitting due to said weight gain.  

But, his parents don’t care. Eat more pork cutlet bowls, Yuri! Welcome home!

Vicchan’s shrine is where they also store the unused treadmill.  Want to bet the only person to use it was Yuri?

Then older sis Mari-neechan appears with frosted tips.  I can appreciate a character that doesn’t beat around the bush (a trait she inherited from her mother, I imagine).  Welcome home, Yuri, but don’t sit on your ass.  Start thinking about your next move.    

Actually *loads headcanon* I suspect Mari doesn’t want Yuri to give up on skating.  The longer he stays at home, the more quitting becomes a possibility.

So, the Katsuki family hot springs resort (Inn?  Restaurant?) is the last one standing in town.  Very OT, but I wonder if the hot springs are still an attraction at all and are perhaps, government-owned?  Protected, used by tourists for a fee, perhaps?  I think about things like that.

Having never visited a hot spring, and based on the setting around Minako while she watches the World Championships on TV, it appears to be a place for people to come, soak, and lounge and grab a bite to eat if the mood strikes.  So, the Katsukis wait on people basically all day long.  Gotta be exhausting work.

Yuuuuuko!  The Madonna of Ice Castle Hasetsu!  Yuri’s crush on her is hella cute.

A slight segue to Yuri’s perceived attraction to Yuko and what it could imply about his sexual identity.  Per his labeling of Yuko as a “Madonna,” I figure Yuri considers Yuko untouchable, perhaps even “too good” for him.  Yuko, just like Victor, is “ideal”.  For someone as self-conscious as Yuri, comparing any romantic prospects against his two ideals was probably a convenient excuse not to get *too* close to anyone, male or female.  That being said, he didn’t pursue Yuko.  Alcohol loosened enough of Yuri’s inhibitions to eventually openly flirt with Victor, but this is still an important distinction, IMO.  He pursued one of his ideals (in more ways than one, even going so far as to leave home to in hopes of becoming Victor’s equal) and left the other one behind.

Yuri idealizes/d Yuko, and comes to love Victor.  He’s gay.  Bi, at the least.  

I don’t feel confident in applying any other labels, because I’m a straight.  Yuri could fall under any number of categories as long it they include, IMO, same-sex attraction.

In actuality, Yuko is “introduced” to the audience as Yuri’s straight love interest, but that doesn’t last long.  Cute and clever, show creators.  Cute. And . Clever.

Then we find out, via flashback, a) how adorable they all were when they were little kids and b) Yuko wanted to see Yuri compete against Victor.  Yuko has been a profound influence on Yuri.

So, Victor.  This guy is in a class by himself.  The animators obviously invested a lot of time in his movements.  You can see why he leads the field even at 27.

Also, the creators had the nerve, the audacity, the unmitigated gall to compose an original opera aria for a cartoon.  That was my next indicator that this was more than a cutesy figure skating anime.  

The song really is beautiful, too.  Probably my favorite in the soundtrack.

Who’s the last IRL skater to win 5 consecutive World Championships?  Michelle Kwan, maybe?  Who is Kwan’s male equivalent?  Back then, probably Alexei Yagudin?  May research. May not. 

Anyway, Victor is the Michelle Kwan of YOI-verse lol.

Hmm.  Here come the three brats.  Good God.  Poor Yuko and Takeshi lol.

So sweet to see Yuri’s childhood bully is his biggest fan now.

Sooo, Yuko’s triplets secretly record Yuri’s private performance, post it online (sometime before April 10, when Victor shows up), and things progress rather quickly from there...

Or do they?  It appeared to me that Yuri caught up with Yuko at the rink the same day he returned home.  Did he skate Victor’s routine for her that day, as well, or did it happen later?  Perhaps the triplets waited a few weeks to post the video, or else it took a few weeks to go viral.  Did Yuri turn off his phone for *weeks* to avoid the world?

Maybe he got home on March 30 and then the whole month of April just went to hell for him?  The possibilities...

LOL, I’m so SO mad the title of the video is “Katsuki Yuri TRIED to Skate Victor’s FS Program”. Those brats.

This might be the most unattractive Victor’s ever looked.  Severe close-ups aren’t flattering on anyone.  Welp, down the rabbit hole now.  

So, in the next scene it snows in April which doesn’t stop anyone from stripping naked to bathe in a hot spring, apparently.  Or it just doesn’t stop Victor.

#moneyshot

I like this ending theme much better.  It’s a head-bopper.  The Instagram reel kills me.  

Thanks to anyone who took the time to read through this stream of consciousness!  No idea how long it may take me to get through the rest.  I tip my hat to those who regularly and passionately participate in fandom.  It’s a lot of work!

[ayearofromcoms]

#53: Man Up (2015)

IMDB plot summary: A single woman takes the place of a stranger's blind date, which leads to her finding the perfect boyfriend.

Is this an accurate plot summary? I guess. I do like how the movie poster is doing the work of trying to explain what this movie is about because the title is so vague and terrible.

Well, hey, guys! Long time, no talk about romcoms. What have you been up to since our year of romcoms ended? As for me, I’ve been busy a) having a child and b) publishing a book. Which all means that my romcom consumption has gone WAY down...like, do you know that babies have VERY little interest in meet cutes? It’s true! Anyway, the other night my husband and I actually had the chance to watch a movie together, so I took the opportunity to romcom it up. And since everyone loves Simon Pegg and Lake Bell, I chose this one. Several people recommended it to me, it was in the library’s Blu-Ray selection, it was fate.

Let’s get to the plot: Lake Bell, now British, thinks she’s a loser, I guess because she doesn’t have a boyfriend. What she does have is a lovely sister played by Sharon Horgan. Can you imagine if Sharon Horgan was your sister? You would have access to great clothes constantly.

Lake Bell, single and not loving it, is headed home for her parents’ anniversary party, for which she had to write a speech. Don’t worry, she wrote it in a notebook she carries around everywhere that definitely WON’T get lost or become a central plot point.

While she’s on the train home, she runs into a girl who’s reading some popular self-help book. Lake Bell, too cool to care about anything, makes fun of it. When the train stops, she realizes the girl left the book for her. Instead of trashing it, she tries to chase down the girl in the train station to return her book. That’s how she comes to be standing by herself under a giant clock, forlornly holding the book, when Simon Pegg shows up. Because guess what, you guys? He’s supposed to be meeting a blind date there, and they’re both supposed to be holding copies of that book. And instead of being like, “Nope, not me!” Lake Bell is all, “Yes, I AM your blind date.”

And who can blame her? Simon Pegg is cute! He’s wearing a scarf! He’s got that haircut every man I know got when he turned 30 (no shade; it’s a nice haircut) and he’s very friendly. So she’s on this date with him, pretending to be a girl named Jessica, and you know where this is going. She’s gonna be outed and he’s not gonna be able to trust her but they’re gonna have chemistry, right?

I mean, yeah, pretty much. Can we talk about the specific moment in which she’s outed as a big faker, though? So she and Simon Pegg are at a bowling alley, taking part in a romcom montage that shows how much fun they’re having, when Lake Bell runs into a guy she knows from high school. He knows she’s not named (sorry, “called,” this movie is British) Jessica, and he’s had a crush on her for years. So he attempts to blackmail her into sexual favors to keep him from telling Simon Pegg her true identity! Which is...extremely gross! He was so creepy that I cringed every time he was on screen, yet he was also kind of the “wacky side character” so it was a real conflict. On the one hand, this guy is threatening a woman. And on the other hand...well, actually that one hand’s got plenty of creepy stuff in it. It was gross, is what I’m saying.

Once they have their inevitable parting of ways and Lake Bell shows up super late to her parents’ anniversary party (seriously, girl, they’re your PARENTS), she’s crushed. And Simon Pegg realizes that Lake Bell is the girl he’s supposed to be with, and also he realizes he has her notebook from the beginning. You know, the one with the speech in it that she needs for the party. So of course he has to find her, and of course it involves a high-speed race through the city.

Here’s what I liked about Man Up: it actually cast a good actress who’s known for comedy. I like Lake Bell a lot and she’s super talented. Also, Simon Pegg is very cute and I would watch him in more romcoms, including the ones I write in my head when I’m daydreaming. There were parts that were genuinely funny, and several scenes that made us laugh out loud (mostly involving that creepy dude, who was very good at acting creepy). And TBH I would watch anything that lets me stare at Sharon Horgan for a few minutes.

Here’s what I didn’t like about Man Up: it’s hard to explain, but there just wasn’t enough build up to their feelings about each other. It didn’t feel 100% earned when Simon Pegg was running down the street trying to find Lake Bell. ALSO I resent that the movie expects me to believe Lake Bell looks bad just because her hair is kind of messed up. In one scene, she goes into the bar bathroom, puts on the tiniest amount of makeup and changes her shirt, and when she comes out Simon Pegg is like, “Whoa, who’s THIS girl?” Like...she looked like Lake Bell before, she looks like Lake Bell now. This isn’t new information.

What it boils down to is that I liked this movie enough to wish that it was just a tiny bit better.

I still found this to be a really charming and likable movie, and I get why so many people recommended it to me. Both of the leads were wonderful, the side characters were great (and occasionally creepy) and Sharon Horgan was there. All in all, a solid romcom...nice and cozy and pretty comforting.

Stray thoughts:

-I hate googling actors while I’m watching a movie, but I couldn’t figure out who Simon Pegg’s ex-wife was and it was driving me so crazy that I had to look it up. And she was ROSEMARY FROM RUSHMORE. A blunt bob can really change your look.

-There’s a scene built around Duran Duran’s The Reflex and I guess I never realized what a killer song it is. We should all be so lucky to have a climactic fight with Simon Pegg during it.

-Okay, you guys, this was the creepy dude:

He must be a great actor because he was SELLING IT.

-Just to confirm, both Simon Pegg and Lake Bell were super adorable in this film. Look at all their layered clothing!

Romantic comedy cliches: blind date, mistaken identities, running through the streets to find someone, a missing item that must be returned, a single person who keeps getting set up by their friends, a falling-in-love montage, an evil ex

Is this a good movie? I think it is.

Did I like this movie? Yes! I would recommend it when you’re, oh, I don’t know, overwhelmed by the news and just want to watch nice people meet each other. If that’s a mood you’re ever in.

Did this movie make me believe in love? It made me believe that I have developed a crush on Simon Pegg.

That’s it for now! I enjoyed watching a romcom so much after all this time that I think I might pop back in occasionally.  What can I say? Romcoms and I are like a couple in a romcom: we might be pushed apart by plot constraints, but we’ll always find our way back to each other. I deeply enjoy talking about romcoms and sharing recommendations with the people who read this blog, and it’s nice to have something that’s purely fun.

And before I go, just a reminder that my first book is out now! It’s called LOVE AND OTHER ALIEN EXPERIENCES and I tried to cram as many romcom elements as possible into it. It’s been called a YA The Shop Around the Corner, and you know what? I’ll take it! If you like this blog, chances are pretty good that you’ll like the book, because, you know...I wrote both of them.

PROMO OVER. I’ll check back in next time I get the chance to see a romcom. I just got The DUFF from the library and I have a feeling I’ll have a lot to say. No one better mess with Mae Whitman.

As always, send your recs and thoughts to me on Twitter @KerryAnn or via email at welcometoladyville@gmail.com.

[artificialqueens]

Read My Mind (Trixya) - Candy For Children

A/N: Hey! So this is my first time writing a fic in a few years, but I had this idea and wrote it all tonight in a mad dash! I’m thinking I will probably write more of this at some point soon, because I am pretty happy with how it turned out. I’d love any constructive criticism, Hope you enjoy! Also this is a AHS Coven AU, but I play a little fast and loose with the rules of the universe.

Summary: Trixie is a clairvoyant witch, sent to study at Mrs. Charles’s Academy for Gifted Girls, where she meets another young witch named Katya, and sparks fly (no pun intended).

The train wasn’t like it was in the movies Trixie had seen. In them the train had always been a place for quiet, often solemn, contemplation. Lonely attractive people would watch as the countryside zipped past, and think about their broken hearts, or the difficult choices they had to make, or whatever else they had to think about that could fill up a two minute montage before the resolution of the film.

But unfortunately, the train wasn’t a quiet place for Trixie. It was boomingly loud. Buzzing with the “quiet” contemplation of the other passengers, and though she wished she didn’t Trixie heard every word. According to her mother Trixie was cursed with clairvoyance. That’s what she  had said before sending her off to god knows where with nothing but a jam packed duffle bag, and her guitar. She had been taken from her home to the train by the woman who was sitting next to her, Ms. Monsoon. Ms. Monsoon said that Trixie’s abilities were a “gift” which was why she was taking her to Mrs. Charles’s Academy for Gifted Girls. Trixie didn’t buy that for a second.

Should I tell her I’ve been cheating? No Chuck, it’s not cheating if you only kissed. You know Nancy wouldn’t think of it that way.

The thoughts of the pudgy middle aged man sitting on the other side of the train car played through Trixie’s mind, and she shook her head trying to get them to stop. No sooner however after his had stopped did another voice start, this time female and coming from right behind her.

I’ll walk right up to her and say “No Mother, you can’t talk to me that way, I’m an adult now” yes that’s what I’ll do.

Trixie focused all of her energy into stopping the voices, and to her surprise, she succeeded. All was quiet. For about thirty seconds. Then she heard Ms. Monsoon’s voice. For a moment she didn’t realize what was happening, and she looked over to see what the woman was saying to her. That’s when she realized the red haired woman was not talking to her, merely looking at her.

Poor girl… They’re going to eat her alive.

Trixie snapped her head forward and rummaged through her bag. She took out the huge noise cancelling headphones, and plugged them into her phone. An hour later she was asleep, snoring fitfully to the sounds of Dolly Parton’s greatest hits.

-

“The academy was founded many many years ago, by then Supreme Ms. Rupaul Charles.” Ms. Monsoon smiled and looked at Trixie as they stepped up to the front gate. The school was huge, and white, with big white pillars and a wrap around porch. It was beautiful, but it made Trixie uneasy, like a angel statue at a cemetery.

“Supreme?” Trixie asked, tearing her eyes away from the building.

“The leader of the coven. The most powerful witch alive at any given time. The current supreme lives here at the academy, but I’m afraid she’s in Paris on business at the moment so you won’t get to meet her right away. But you have plenty of people to meet in the meantime!” Ms. Monsoon leaned forward and opened the wrought iron gate, and began to lead Trixie up the brick path that cut through the front yard. After opening the front door she turned, smiling warmly at her, and ushered her through the entryway to a grand curving staircase that appeared to be set at the heart of the building. “Up the stairs now darling, let’s get you settled in”

At the top of the stairs they were met with two long hallways that forked off, leading away from each other. Ms. Monsoon led them to the left. As Trixie walked past the rows of closed doors, she could hear little snippets of thoughts from within the rooms.

If we have lasagna for dinner again tonight I’m going to fucking scream.

You shouldn’t look at her like that, she’s almost twice your age, what’s wrong with you?

It’s not your fault, It’s not your fault, It’s not your fault.

“Earth to Trixie!”

Trixie was startled out of her, or rather someone else’s, thoughts, by Ms. Monsoon waving her hand in front of her face.

“Sorry, I must have zoned out a little.” Trixie said, forcing a little smile onto her face. They were standing in front of the last door at the end of the hallway.

“That’s quite alright, it happens to the best of us.” Ms. Monsoon replied, and then opened the door, “Most of the girls room in pairs, but due to your unique condition we all agreed it best you room alone. We wouldn’t want to add to any sleeping issues I’m sure you’re already having. There was a young girl with the same gift as you during my time at the Academy. Never slept a wink poor thing.” She smiled, and opened the door for Trixie to walk into the room. “I’ll leave you to get settled in. Dinner is at 7, we’re having lasagna, you won’t want to miss it.” The chipper woman smiled one last time, yanked Trixie into a hug, and then left, clicking the door softly behind her.

Trixie sighed and looked around her at the room. It was fairly sized, but stark and cold, and nothing like the warmth of the familiar cotton candy pink she had back home. Where she was used to clutter and posters, and pictures and stuffed animals, she was met with white, sterile, blank surfaces. The walls were white, the bed clothes were white, the drapes were white, even the floors were stained with a white wash. It reminded Trixie of the padded cells she saw in the shitty B horror movies she used to watch with her friends back home.

She decided however, instead of crying about her lot, she may as well make the best of it. After putting her headphones back on, setting ‘Islands in the Stream’ to repeat, and putting her guitar in a safe corner of the room, she set to work.

-

An hour later she sat on her bed and surveyed her work. It wasn’t perfect but it would have to do. A pink scarf covered her bedside lamp, basking the room in a warmer glow than before. The few pictures she had brought with her, polaroids of her friends and mom hung above her bed, and a few other scarfs were placed strategically around her room as if they were throw blankets or wall hangings.

For the first time all day she felt herself actually smile. A small smile, but at least this time it was genuine.

Not a second later Trixie was startled out of her thoughts when a girl suddenly appeared right in front of her.

The girl was tall and slender with big lips, sharp eyebrows, and blond hair piled on top of her head in a sort of half beehive. Trixie didn’t notice any of that though, she was too busy screaming. The girl looked on, unimpressed, as Trixie wheezed panicked breaths and looked between the intruder, and the unopened door.

“I was sent to bring you down for dinner… when you’re done screaming…” The girl said in a low droning voice and rolled her eyes slightly.

“I- uh- I, sorry.” Trixie stuttered, managing to calm down ever so slightly “You startled me.”

“It’s alright, I forgot you’re new. you aren’t really used to us yet huh?” She smiled, then turned and walked to the door, pulling it open and standing in the doorway. “We really should get to dinner. We don’t want to be late or there won’t be anything left.” And with that she turned and started walking.

Trixie stared after her for a second, before getting a hold of herself and rushing after her. “What you did back there, what was it? You just sort of appeared?”

“Transmutation. The ability to jump from place to place in the blink of an eye.”

“Is that something… all of us can do?” Trixie asked, excited at the prospect of learning to teleport.

“No.” Alaska said, then at Trixie’s disappointed look added “A few of the other girls have it too, so who knows about you. But I’m the only one with the power of Divination.” She smiled proudly and started walking down the stairs.

“Like in Harry Potter?”

The girl stopped and looked at Trixie as if she had just slapped a baby, “No. Not like Harry Potter.” She started walking again, “You’ve got a lot to learn Barbie.”

“Trixie.”

“What?”

“My name is Trixie.”

“Oh, well nice to meet you Trixie, I’m Alaska.”

“That’s an interesting name.”

“Yeah, my parents fucked in a Wendy’s bathroom in Wasilla, and 9 months later I popped out. So my mom thought Alaska was the perfect name. Cause Jenny or whatever would be too easy to explain.”

“I like Alaska, it suits you.”

“Yeah, I like it too.” The girl smiled and then stopped in front of a set of large oak doors. From the other side Trixie could hear the clamor of many different conversations. “You ready?”

Trixie’s eyes darted from the doors to Alaska and then back again. “Yes?”

Alaska nodded her head, “don’t worry you’ve got this.” she said and then pushed the big doors open.

The dining room was beautiful. All reds and browns, lit up by candles and a extravagant chandelier that hung above a large mahogany table at the center of the room. Trixie glanced around the room and counted 8 girls and 4 women sitting at the table, with three empty seats scattered about, two of which Trixie assumed were for her and Alaska.

Alaska pointed at an empty chair between a girl with sleek grey hair and Ms. Monsoon, she then went and sat at her own seat between a gorgeous blond and a girl with ink black hair who was glaring down at her food. Trixie didn’t particularly want to sit next to Ms. Monsoon. It wasn’t that she didn’t like the woman, she was perfectly lovely, and the type of person she would normally love to spend time with, but she kept giving her pitying looks when Trixie thought she couldn’t see them. And there was always something about strong personalities that made their thoughts the loudest. For the moment though it seemed her brain had decided to give her a break. She hadn’t heard a single one of Alaska’s thoughts during their brief trip from Trixie’s room to the dining room, and now that they were here all she could hear was the chatter of the witches sat round the table. She was confused, but as she took her seat she decided to enjoy it rather than think about it too much.

“Hi Ms. Monsoon.” Trixie said with a smile turning to the older woman, receiving a bright toothy grin in response.

“Hello Trixie! Get settled in alright?”

“Yes, thank you.”

“I know how hard it can be being the new girl.” She frowned and looked at Trixie with pity in her eyes, but then brightened up and looked past her to the grey haired girl, “Max was actually the most recent addition to the academy before you showed up. Been here, what two months?”

“Three months tomorrow.” The girl said with a smile and an accent that Trixie thought might be british. She was very pretty. Incredibly pale, with a perfectly circular beauty mark on her cheek. Trixie wondered if it was real. The girl was suddenly sticking her hand out for Trixie to shake. “Max Malanaphy, pleased to meet you darling.” When Trixie took the girl’s hand she stiffened a little, and her eyes widened. Trixie thought her hands must have been very cold, or sweaty, but then Max’s eyes darted to the only empty chair left at the table, and she let out a little giggle. A second later she seemed to realize what she’d done and said sheepishly, “Sorry about that, long day.”

“Of course, I understand” Trixie said, not understanding in the slightest.

Suddenly one of the women sitting at the head of the table stood up and began to address the room. “Ladies, Ladies, settle down. We have a new sister with us today.” The woman was beautiful. She wore a boat neck dress and her hair was in an impeccably curled updo on top of her head. “I’d like us all to go around the table and- Where the fuck is Zamolodchikova?”

“She wasn’t in our room earlier.” Alaska drawled.

The woman grit her teeth, “Goddamn it. Well, I guess we’ll have to deal with that when she gets back. We aren’t going to wait for her to eat. If the food is gone when she’s back then the food is gone she knows the rules.” The woman sighed “In any case. This is our newest sister Trixie. I want us all to go around the room and introduce ourselves to her. Alright? Can we do that without getting distracted” the girls all laughed and nodded. “Alright. I will start. I am Ms. Del Rio. But all the girls call me Bianca, because Ms. Del Rio makes me feel old. You’ve already met Ms. Monsoon, these two lovely ladies next to me are Mrs. Edwards, and Mrs. Royale.” She gestured to a grinning woman with curly brown hair, and a larger woman with one of the kindest faces Trixie had ever had the pleasure of seeing. They both smiled at her. “We are all teachers here, and we’ll make sure you leave this academy a competent and confident witch. Alright, Miss Delano?”

At the sound of her name a pretty round faced girl, probably a few years younger than Trixie perked up. Bright white teeth emerged from behind her charcoal lips. “I’m Adore.” She said smiling

“And what are you in for?” Bianca said her voice a friendly bark, causing the girls around the table giggle again.

“Telekinesis, that’s it so far. Most of the girls here can move stuff too though.” She smiled, but it wasn’t as bright as before.

“Don’t worry doll, you’ll get there.” Bianca said, and patted the girl’s hand. Adore smiled and blushed turning back to Trixie and smiling once more.

After Adore came a girl named Fame, who, just like Adore, had telekinesis, but could also resist the magic of any other witches, which sounded to Trixie like something that could come in handy. After Fame was Naomi who could control people with her mind, and do the same teleport thing Alaska could do. After Naomi came an oddly familiar face.

“Kim?” Trixie gasped

“I was wondering when you’d recognize me!” The round faced girl laughed.

“I barely did under all that make up! The last time I saw you you weren’t even allowed to wear tinted chapstick!” Trixie laughed and got up to run around the table and give the girl a hug, “I haven’t seen you since 5th grade! What are you doing here?”

“Well remember that pomeranian my grandma had when we were little? Gadget?”

“He peed on me three times, how could I forget?” Trixie laughed.

“Well this one night, my grandma was watching me at her house, and I accidentally fed him a snickers bar, because I didn’t know dogs weren’t supposed to eat chocolate. He died, and my grandma was so upset. I didn’t want her to be upset and I was so sad, and I was petting Gadget’s body while my grandma called the vet, and I guess I just brought him back to life? Turns my great great grandmother was a witch. Grandma thought that the stories were just stories, but then I happened. So the next day she convinced my mom to ship me here. And I’ve been here ever since.”

“Wow.” Trixie breathed, not quite sure what to say. When Kim had up and moved away out of the blue just days before the last day of fifth grade, it’s safe to say that ‘witch who can resurrect the dead’ was not one of the explanations Trixie had thought of. “That’s incredible. It’s so good to see a familiar face.” She smiled and hugged the girl one more time.

“It’s good to see you too, now go sit down and eat, you have more people to meet, we can catch up later.”

Trixie did what she was told, and looked to the next girl, still a little dumbstruck from Kim’s story. Next was the blond that Alaska had sat down next to. When she spoke it was with a heavy Australian accent, “I’m Courtney, I got sent here when my parents caught me making my teachers let me cut class with my mind.”

Trixie nodded and smiled, turning to Alaska who was discreetly putting something in her pocket, after a moment, Trixie realized it was a ziplock baggie filled with lasagna. “We’ve already met.” Alaska smiled.

Next was the black haired girl with the stern looking face. She looked up from where she was eating, and stared at Trixie. “I’m Violet.”

“What do you do?” Trixie asked with a smile, it was interesting to hear what tricks all the other girls had up their sleeves.

Violets eyes darkened “Don’t worry about it.”

The room went quiet for a moment, everyone clearly uncomfortable. Then, for the first time during the entire meal Trixie heard someone’s voice inside her head. She couldn’t be sure who thought it, but she could make out the words as clear as day.

Black Widow.

Trixie struggled to keep a neutral expression, “That’s fine,” she smiled, “I didn’t mean to pry.”

Violet offered a tight lipped smile, and then went back to stabbing at her food with her fork.

The next girl was Pearl, a blond who, when she slapped her own face somehow made Trixie feel the blow, “It’s called injury transference, but I like to say i’m a Voodoo Doll. Sounds more punk.”

“It’s not punk if you say it’s punk girl” Adore laughed from her spot next to Fame.

After Pearl was the empty chair that Trixie assumed must belong to whoever Zamolodchikova was, and then Max.

“And we’ve already met Darling.” Max said, and paused, “But I’ve got the sight.”

“Like, seeing into the future?”

“The future, the past, whatever the universe wants me to see.” She said with a flourish of her hands. A few girls around the table rolled their eyes, but it made Trixie laugh.

At that moment the phone rang, and Bianca stood up to go get it.

The girls ate and chattered quietly, until suddenly there was a clamoring at the front door. A whirlwind of plaid and leather stumbled into the house. Sprinting, yet still somehow tip toeing, until coming to rest in the seat next to Max.

The whirlwind was a girl. And boy was she something.

Trixie couldn’t take her eyes off of her. Sharp cheekbones and a sharper jaw line, full cherry red lips, and heaps of platinum blond hair that fell around her shoulders like drapery and rested against her chest. She was wrapped in a hideous combination of clashing plaids and seemed to be wearing leather pants, boots, and gloves, yet somehow it all suited her. When she smiled at the table, two sets of perfect white teeth revealed themselves, and when she began to talk, it was quick and in between heavy gasps for air.

“Sorry I’m late” a breath, “I ran all the way here, “a breath, ”I got caught up,” a breath, “at the pawn shop,” a breath, “Whats up?” She smiled.

“We have a new member of the coven” Naomi said, and gestured to Trixie, “This is Trixie.”

When the newcomer’s eyes suddenly met hers, Trixie realized she was still staring, and quickly averted her gaze.

“Hello Tracy.” The hello was long and drawn out, and it made trixie blush, “I’m-”

“Yekaterina Petrovna Zamolodchikova” Bianca’s angry voice came from the doorway.

“I was going to say Katya. Everyone calls me Katya.” The blond, -Katya- said with a wink in Trixie’s direction. “Yes Bianca?”

“Don’t ‘Yes Bianca’ me. You know what time dinner is. This is the third time this week you’ve been late. What’s your excuse this time?”

“I was at the pawn shop!”

“Doing what exactly.”

“I dunno, looking for stuff! I lost track of time. You know how I am.’

“Yes I do, but that can’t be an excuse any more.” The girls around the table all made ‘oooh’ noises. “Not helping ladies.”

“I really am sorry. It was an accident.” Katya said, and she did look genuinely sorry.

“I know it was, that’s why I’m giving you one last chance before the consequences start.”

Katya looked like she wanted to argue, but then cast her eyes down. “Yes mam.”

The rest of dinner passed very quickly, since the food was already gone by that point, and much to Trixie’s immense disappointment, she did not get another opportunity to talk to Katya.

-

Trixie went to bed before the rest of the girls. She had had a long day and she was tired. She had been lying in her darkened room for about an hour, unable to sleep, when she heard voices outside her door. She got up and crept to the other side of her room, and pressed her ear to the wall and listened.

“I can’t keep saving away food for you Katya.” Alaska’s voice came, slightly muffled, and sounding tired.

“I know, I’m sorry. I promise it won’t happen again. I won’t even go out tomorrow. I promise. Thank you though I- hold on. Did you- never mind thank you for the food. I’m gonna eat it out here, I know you hate food in the room.”

A sigh.

“Alright. Goodnight Katya.”

“Gnight.”

Trixie waited a few more seconds, but couldn’t hear anything else. She shrugged to herself and turned around, almost letting out a shriek when she found Katya sitting on her bed eating lasagna out of a little plastic bag.

“I knew I heard you listening in on us. Hear anything juicy?” The girl smiled, her bright red lips stretching to show her upper and lower teeth, in a smile that would have been unflattering on most people, but for some reason, not on her.

“Fuck. Can everyone here do that? And if so can they please stop doing it in my room?”

“Nope, just Alaska, Naomi and me.” She smiled, “And I can’t make any promises.”

“Can’t make any promises to what?”

“To stop using it to pop in on you. Not when you turn that cute shade of pink when you’re scared.”

Trixie blushed. “I wasn’t scared, just startled bitch!”

Katya laughed, a loud blast of noise, and put the last bite of lasagna into her mouth. “Alright Tracy, alright! I think you and I might just get along.”

“It’s Trixie. And please don’t put your shoes on the bed.”

“I know it is, Tracy.” She replied, and instead of taking her shoes off, or moving to sit with her legs off the side of the bed, she lifted her feet into the air and left them there, her body bent in half as if there were a wall to support her legs.

Trixie blushed again. She couldn’t seem to stop doing that. “Flexible.” She said, eloquently.

“So you noticed?” Katya smiled and winked. “Mom wanted me to be a gymnast before I went all Carrie. She thought I was the first woman in our family not to have the gift, but turns out I was just a late bloomer.” She took a pack of cigarettes out of her pocket and stuck one in her mouth. It lit without her so much as looking at a book of matches.

Trixie gasped and went to sit down next to her on the bed, forgetting momentarily how much she disliked the smell of cigarettes, “How did you do that?”

“A little slow on the uptake aren’t we Barbie” Katya laughed, and then whispered “It’s magic.” and did jazz hands.

Trixie rolled her eyes and shoved the girl in the shoulder, “Yeah I assumed that cunt. It’s just, no one else talked about being able to make fire.”

“Well, that’s me, the little fire bug. Pyrokinesis. What about you? What do you do?” She asked taking a long drag from her cigarette and smiling up at trixie.

“I can hear people’s thoughts.”

Katya shot upright, her legs slamming down on the bed to the side of Trixie. “You’re clairvoyant? No fucking way. We haven’t got one of you yet. Okay mama, what am I thinking?” She stared deep into Trixie’s eyes, and moved so that her face was inches from the other girls.

Trixie was uncomfortable for a second, she was tense. Beautiful icy blue eyes stared into hers, and the mind reader had to fight not to get lost in them. That is until Katya’s thought rang through her mind.

Send nudes.

Trixie shrieked a laugh and pushed the other girl away from her. “You whore, oh my god.”

Katya was laughing too hard to respond, rolling around on the bed and flapping her hands about like some type of seal. Finally she caught her breath and sat up, still giggling a little. “You’re fun Tracy. After classes tomorrow we should hang out.”

“I could be talked into that.” Trixie said quietly with a little smile. And then neither of them were talking, and there was that tension again. Katya looked like she was going to say something, when her eyes darted up to behind Trixie’s shoulder. Trixie looked behind her, and sucked in a breath and grasped at her chest. Alaska had appeared behind her again.

“I really wish you guys would stop doing that. Just use the door like a normal person.”

“A)…” Alaska said “I’m not a normal person. And B) I did use the door. You two were just too wrapped up in whatever it was you were doing to notice.”

Trixie blushed, that wasn’t like her.

“Anyway…” the slim girl turned to Katya, “It’s almost midnight. You should really be getting sleep, because you know that Bianca is going to be hard on you tomorrow in class.”

Katya looked back to Trixie and sighed, “Yeah you’re probably right.” She winked at Trixie and said “Until tomorrow Tracy.” She then disappeared.

Alaska sighed and shook her head, then walked to the door and left through it like a civilized person.

Trixie laid back in her bed and looked at her ceiling thinking about what Ms. Monsoon had thought.

She was right, these girls are going to eat me alive.

[me-mindfulexistence]

Set Up For Failure....An NCAA Appeal.

“Sometimes in life to WIN BIG....You have to bet it all on green.” This was my motto during the last few months as we prepared my son’s appeal to face the implacable NCAA (National Collegiate Athletic Association). A NON-PROFIT ORGANIZATION bringing in over a billion dollars of revenue annually.... originally established to ‘protect’ athletes...but over a century later is now an athletes worst nightmare.

Many of the people in our everyday lives had no idea this was going on....a few were privy to the dirty secret...and a plethora have heard whispers about it...and one player even blurted it out during the end of season banquet in the actual movie montage of the seniors giving shout outs to their former buddies....“Hock failed his drug test”. In the movie! (to say I was disgusted at that very moment is an understatement) 

During this time my father in law was having major health problems....so my husband Ron decided he just couldn’t tell them. It was out of the question...the last thing he wanted was to add to their worries...FYI-if you want to know a couple of key characteristics about Ron it’s this: he has a stronger work ethic than anyone I know and he puts family above all else. No matter how tired or sick he might be...it will never stop him from helping and working harder.....He works at the farm (many mornings he starts his day around 1:30 or 2am, gets home by 5:30am takes a short nap followed by a full day of work, gets home around 7-8pm at night and does it all over again the next day. Sleep is in sparse increments....b/c even when he could ‘rest’....his mind would just ‘race’ with thoughts of ‘what if’.  

As you can see with my ‘blog’ I’m pretty transparent. I don’t do well keeping things bottled up. So after internalizing all of this for a good month “Keeping it in the immediate family”....I had a feeling of anxiety that was unbearable (It didn’t help that during this time I was dealing with my company being taken over and had the looming ‘lay off’ over my head....along with the 4 other teenagers in the house making their own everyday ‘waves’ we had to deal with that had nothing to do with Zack’s situation)...and one day when I was at work my Dad called about something totally unrelated and I just started weeping uncontrollably like a baby. I still hadn’t initially reveled what was going on...but he assured me that I could tell them anything without judgement....so later that night I went over and unburdened myself with all of the information along with every other thing ‘doing’ in the house. It was therapeutic for sure. 

Our kids felt just as strongly as we did. They “KNEW” Zack was innocent...but I reminded them that the punishment doesn’t always fit the crime. The world isn’t a perfect place. Sometimes things aren’t fair...but we were sure going to do our best trying to fight this. For everyone’s sake.

This is our story.

Back in early November of 2016 Zack received an email from his head coach that he was chosen for the ‘random’ NCAA drug screen (as many of the players expect...especially the seasons of Spring and Fall). Zack went into the test without worries. He lives a clean lifestyle with only occasional use of protein whey. So a few weeks go by post drug test and now it’s the very beginning of December. He gets a call from his coach while he’s in yoga class (so he can’t answer). The coach continues to text Zack that he needs a call back ASAP.  Zack at this point figures his coach found out he had an MRI on his knee and was upset he didn’t tell him about it.  

Zack calls him back and hears “your drug screen came back positive for a P.E.D....You tested positive for a substance called Ostarine”.  To clarify- P.E.D stands for -Performance Enhancing Drug and “Ostarine” is a form of S.A.R.M’s (selective androgen receptor modulator)

https://www.evolutionary.org/ostarine-mk-2866-anabolic-steroids/ 

Ostarine is something comparable to steroids but not illegal to purchase or consume for someone who is not a collegiate athlete. Zack (and his coach) were both completely shocked. Zack was not only in disbelief but he was sure the test must be ‘wrong’. He called us immediately and told us the news.  Ron tends to be more level headed and positive...but I was being objectively negative.  I said “there is no way out of this...you’re done whether you did it or not. There’s no way you’re going to be able to prove you didn’t do this”.  Zack explained that he knew his roommate had been taking a “SARM” but he didn’t know it was Ostarine until he texted him and asked following the positive result.....but there was still the question of how did it get in Zack’s system.  He was told there was an appeal process that started with getting another part of the SAME sample retested....the ”Part B” of the specimen. It’s basically rerunning all the same tests a second time on the second half of the original sample in case something rogue went wrong in the process of the first one.  Zack was banking on this....he was confident the second test would show something different.  I assured him this was a very detailed science and that specific substance was not going to magically become nonexistent in the 2nd testing. Zack and Ron are both half glass full guys and they just kept telling me to ‘think positive’.  Ron understood what I was saying and wasn’t disagreeing  but he felt strongly he had to keep Zack’s spirits up. All this was happening during the last week of the semester when Zack was taking finals. It was important to try and put his mind at ease. Putting my mind at ‘ease’ was a different story and virtually impossible.....

After a few more weeks of waiting through the holidays (not hearing anything) Zack gets the call confirming the Part B sample was also positive and he was officially suspended from the team for an entire year and would lose a year of eligibility...along with the undertone whispers of being the ‘PED’ user. It was a nightmare. To see someone who has always worked so hard to have everything come crashing down was heart wrenching. At this point Zack really started to narrow down how he could have unknowingly ingested this substance. His roommate had one bottle and he really only saw him take it once....and it was out of a dropper.  Zack asked if he took it with anything else besides the dropper.....and the roommate said he used a 2oz vitamin cup sometimes b/c it was easier to ‘get it down’.  Apparently the Ostarine is so foul tasting that taking 5-6 drops was nastier then one swig with a water chaser. Zack immediately realized he also used this cup a few times to take Nyquil during early November b/c he had  a bad upper respiratory infection but the cup appeared empty and clean. This was the only explanation the boys had....

Zack was told by his coach that there was one more level of appeal. He had 45 days to submit an ‘explanation’ to the NCAA committee along with any other information or documents that would assist with his case.  I immediately started reaching out to any resources I had. One is a great training partner who is a lawyer. I explained the situation in tears and he tried to calm me down....He then gave me some good advice on how it could go and what information may be needed. It was so overwhelming.  I discussed it with Ron and he also got in touch with his childhood friend and lawyer (Chris Moyer) who referred him to someone else who had experience with similar cases (but not necessarily involving the NCAA....Good Luck finding a lawyer with this experience. They are few and far between). So we reach out to Bonnie Hoffman ( At Hangley Aronchick Segal Pudlin & Schiller associates in Philadelphia PA ) 

Bonnie spoke to us on the phone and let us know her fee’s and what it would entail...and that “winning” these appeals is rare (as I already knew). It was going to be an “uphill battle...and there was no guarantee”.  Zack was on the call and as much as he wanted to fight with every ounce of his being he also didn’t want to put us out financially....but in our heads-what was the alternative?  Let him remain guilty and take the punishment for something he swears he didn’t do with a legacy of being a drug user cheating the system? So after a quick family meeting we made the decision to retain Bonnie’s services. 

First Bonnie needed Zack’s explanation. We all had NO IDEA if this was even plausible. Could that even cause the positive reading? We weren’t scientists and we just didn’t know.  I personally had a conspiracy theory. I was thinking he’d been drugged by someone who had a grudge against him. I mean, this has to happen somewhere to someone...Zack can’t be the only collegiate athlete testing positive for something he/she didn’t take.....Anyway- Bonnie takes Zack’s story to process with her assistant. We were given a ‘to do’ list.  We needed Zack’s statement, a statement from the roommate, statements from the coaches (all of which were very supportive of Zack), his trainer (who was a big advocate), and Zack’s orthopedic surgeon (stating he saw no signs of PED use).  We then told Bonnie Zack was insistent on taking a polygraph AKA “Lie detector test”.  Both the school and Bonnie were on the fence about it. They didn’t know if it would really help or if the NCAA would “allow it”.  We didn’t care.  We wanted it. We wanted to have something scientific showing there were no physical signs of deception. Bonnie did lots of research and found one of the best guys in the country- Michael Martin the owner and president of Global Polygraph. This man has an impressive resume with 30 years of experience and many high profile cases from the Columbine Massacre to Jon Bonet Ramsey. He met Zack, Ron and Bonnie at the Philadelphia airport where Zack spent 3+hrs performing the test. He was hooked up to machines and asked many times if he knowingly consumed Ostarine. He answered “NO”.  The test was scored 3 different ways....It took 1 week for the report and it was agonizing. I knew he was telling the truth but how did I know what this machine would be detecting from my 19 year old son.  When the results came back- there was NO DECEPTION DETECTED.    We were elated with excitement..... Zack’s response was very matter of fact... “I knew that would be the result”.

Next Bonnie asked if we’d consider paying for an experts testimony.  She let us know upfront it could be costly and they didn’t even know if they’d be able to find anyone...but they were going to try. We really didn’t have to think about it b/c we needed every piece of evidence possible...so we agreed.  Within a week or so Rob (Bonnie’s assistant) had found Dr. Don Catlin....the founder of modern drug testing in sports, CEO of anti-doping research and the former head of the UCLA Olympic drug testing lab that was doing the NCAA drug testing. Dr Catlin’s CV is 30 PAGES LONG! The Dr spoke with Bonnie and Rob first about fee’s and what the situation was. Next would be setting up the phone conference between Dr Catlin, Zack and his roommate.  After finally making those arrangements the boys spoke with him individually.  Dr Catlin said without a doubt the invisible residue on the cup could have indeed caused Zack’s positive test for Ostarine. Dr Catlin agreed to put this all in writing and submit his expert opinion to the NCAA committee on Zack’s behalf. 

The appeal packet was due 2/3.  The pieces had all come together physically by 2/2.  The appeal hearing (which is a phone conference call) was scheduled for 2/9 at 4pm.  It was all coming to a head.  Now after weeks and weeks of emails, calls and communication about this stuff and the stress of it weighing on us we were anxious to see it come to a close. As much as we ‘wanted’ to believe it would all work out. We didn’t want to have any ‘false hope’ just to walk away extremely upset when and if the committee said ‘to bad he should have known better’.  You see the NCAA doesn’t want to ‘uphold an appeal’.  That opens the door for others to try and ‘cheat the system’.  They don’t want to give anyone the benefit of the doubt. So before I get into the appeal hearing lets go over some facts that I found stupid.  If an athlete tests positive for an illegal drug like cocaine....they’ll lose 1/2 a season. If an athlete tests positive for a substance that’s not illegal like “ostarine” but considered “banned” they lose a full season. If an athlete commits a violent crime-not their problem...it’s up to the discretion of the school/coach. **There is no education. There is nothing that is actually helpful in this system that would actually assist an athlete who might have a real problem.**

There are 2 ways you can appeal a positive drug test: 1-procedural appeal (You’re saying something went wrong in the process of the collection/transit or testing) or 2- Knowledge. The student athlete didn’t knowingly consume the banned substance (this is what we were trying to prove)

“If the institution or the student-athlete demonstrates that the student-athlete was not aware they had been administered (defined as placed into the student-athlete’s system directly or through food or drink) a substance by another person that later is found to have contained a banned ingredient, then the drug-test appeal committee may determine that no violation has occurred.  In this situation, the student-athlete must show that he or she both did not know and could not reasonably have known or suspected (even with the exercise of utmost caution) that he or she had been administered by a third party a substance that is later found to have contained a banned ingredient.”

So it’s Wed night Feb 8th and we’re going to get the first and probably only snow storm of the year....I’m hearing 8-12inches....Now I get to worry something is going to go wrong with getting there, getting everyone on the call etc...but fortunately the storm was only 1/2 of what they predicted and over by 10am.  We got to WCU in plenty of time and Bonnie met us there.  The appeal is a phone conference with 3 NCAA committee members (and they also had the UCLA lab on the line which I’m not sure they do that for everyone; I think it was just for Zack’s situation).  Also in attendance were the college athletic director, compliance director, head coach, Zack’s roommate, Bonnie and us.  We got into the directors office at 3:45 and waited. By 4pm I’m getting fidgety (I’m stressed and not sitting still very well). We are waiting for ‘them’ to call.  by 4:05 they call and we just sit ‘on hold’...by now I’m out of my seat pacing....(I guess we’re waiting for the other committee members) for another 10 minutes. PURE TORTURE. We’ve already been warned that the committee can not be told any names- Not the school, athlete, etc. Everything is referred to by ‘title’. Nothing more so there is no bias. The committee is finally all on the line and the athletic director makes a brief intro and passes the baton to the head coach. It was moving to hear him speak about his support of Zack and the teams support with his final statement being “I asked all the guys about it and they said -No coach....he would not and could not lie”.  Next was the speech from our lawyer...basically spelling out every piece of evidence that was supporting Zack....every statement, the polygraph, and Dr Catlins opinion...it was impeccable.....it was then passed to Zack who started by sharing his love for the sport and his lack of desire to ever cheat....his hard work ethic learned from a young age working on a dairy farm and his true goal of being an elementary teacher and not a pro football player. He recollected how he took Nyquil out of a vitamin glass and didn’t know his roommate had used it for Ostarine. He spoke of his utter shock and disbelief with the positive drug result and he hoped the committee would take all of the evidence into consideration when making their decision. After his statement the committee was able to ask questions....

Some were: Did he know Ostarine was a banned substance? How does the school tell their student athletes about banned substances prior to the season? what kind of supplements was he taking? If you were in a cafeteria of 200 people would you just pick up a cup and use it? (no? then why would you use that cup in your house if it wasn’t yours). 

The roommate was asked what form of Ostarine he took (Liquid).  How much did he take at a time(5-6 drops from the dropper or out of the vitamin cup)...which became a contentious question as the one committee member (the same one who asked would he use a stray cup if he was in a cafeteria of 200 people) kept arguing he wouldn’t be getting the full dose by using the vitamin cup and why wouldn’t he rinse it out with soap instead of just water.... why didn’t he wash it out with soap each time? (my guess is he doesn’t know college boys very well....)

Lastly became the question about the concentration of the drug in Zacks urine. One of the committee members asked the lab what the qualifying lab value was for Ostarine and it was followed by asking what was Zack’s value....the response was Zack’s value was barely above the baseline of being positive (which was great...). Next the same member asked if the lab guy agreed with Dr Catlins statement and if the lab had any experience with other athletes testing positive with similar circumstances.  His response was despite not having seen this occur before in another student athlete he could see how that scenario could cause a positive result due to Ostarine being only “marginally soluable” in water...which would cause Zack to ingest Ostarine when drinking  Nyquil out of the same glass inevitably creating the positive result....The last statement by the mediator was ‘Does the committee have anymore questions?’.....Silence.

We were told to leave the call and they’d convene to discuss the outcome. They’d call the athletic director with the results. We left feeling good. Knowing we’d done our very best. Bonnie and Rob did 110% and having the lab agree with Dr Catlin (and basically what Zack had been proclaiming all along meant the world to us)...but we knew the NCAA could do whatever they wanted.  We decided to leave and go out to eat in celebration...b/c it was FINALLY OVER. No matter what happened....the grueling awfulness we’d endured for 2 months was done.

We weren’t 10 minutes into our drive and Zack gets a call.....”It’s an unknown number”. We all yell- ANSWER IT!!!!!!!  Zack’s says “oh ok...so is that good? Then he says -”we did it!!!! WE WON!!!!!”. Victory.......It was like winning the lottery where we just paid 20K for the ticket and won nothing but great memories...but it’s all worth it. It was like a giant black cloud had finally moved on. That weight on my shoulders had lifted.  Ron was in tears.  Zack was yelling “LET’S GO!!!!”...his roommate was freaking out with him....It was awesome. It was the end of a very very bad road I’d never wish upon anyone. 

In 20 years Zack is the first to ever go through this process at the school....our Zack. Leave it to a Hockman.....   Below is 20 seconds shortly following the initial call that he’s “NOT GUILTY”. Dad’s in tears. Come Fall Eve will be joining her big brother at college and she is so thrilled to know she’ll have the opportunity to see him play! 

Ron said- “ By FAR one of the most difficult periods of my life. My son fighting for his integrity, my dad goes into the hospital, the day he is discharged from the hospital is the day of Zack's appeal hearing. I didn't want to share any of it with my family - couldn't share it - dad's health was not good. When we got that call after we left the athletic office @ WCU - I simply cried & could not stop crying. I was SO HAPPY, I was SO PROUD of my son for holding it together. I believed in him & TRUTH prevailed. In his words "I play football because I love it. After these next three years, football will be over for me then I’m going to be an elementary school teacher."

I write this blog b/c it’s always therapeutic....but this topic is something that has created a passion in me b/c it’s not okay that we had to go to these lengths to clear his name. What if we couldn’t? How is the NCAA’s system helping student athletes? There has to be a better way.... and for the NCAA to be so unyielding is wrong. 

The NCAA is a non-profit organization that was constructed to ‘protect players’ ...but makes upwards of 700+ million dollars just on the mens basketball tournament and a billion in annual revenue doesn’t sound like “NON-PROFIT”.  who are they kidding?

*As a side note, the new company that took over my building decided to keep me and I’m happy to still have a job! (more good news...)

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/daniel-treadway/johnny-manziel-ncaa-eligibility_b_3020985.html

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/02/04/sports/ncaa-player-antitrust-settlement-scholarships.html?_r=0

http://www.orlandosentinel.com/sports/florida-gators/os-gators-will-grier-loses-ncaa-drug-appeal-20151120-story.html

http://www.dailynews.com/sports/20160401/usc-linebacker-scott-felixs-career-over-after-ncaa-denies-appeal-for-taking-banned-substance

[jgreenuniverse-blog]

Made In Dagenham Textual Analysis:

Which genre does the piece fit into? √ Made in Dagenham is a musical drama, despite the continued comedy element. It is based on true events set in the late 1960s, not only telling the  tale of the Women’s strike at Ford in Dagenham, but the effect on all the workers and some of their families. √ Where is the play set? Immediate location and the wider location. Ω The majority of the Musical takes place in Dagenham (either in/outside the Ford factory or in Eddie and Rita O’grady’s house), which is located in east London. There are scenes that take place in Jeremy and Lisa Hopkins house, which according to Lisa lies “in the middle of the Essex countryside”, Dagenham being just outside Essex. The Concluding conference takes place in Eastbourne, which is south of London on the coast. Ω What is significant and/or important about the locations? ▓ Dagenham is well renowned for being a poor, even poverty ridden section of the capitol. It’s a highly working class area, which is reflected in the busy working lives of most of the characters in the musical. Few characters are well spoken or educated, and most mention a desire for a break and a little more money. Rita is a prime example. In the opening of the show, we get her peak of the working mother’s morning routine, which is made hectic by her husband and kids. However in the Home of Hopkins we see a different story –educated house wife Lisa is bored stiff with the amount of time and Money she has on her hands. She is almost a complete opposite to Rita, but shares her views on Corporal punishment (both of their children have been caned by Mr Buckton) and Women’s rights, supporting her throughout the musical. ▓ When is the play set?  Are there any specific references to day, season or year? ♣ Eddie states in scene 6 that “Millwall’s last season in Division 3 South, so that’s 1958. I been married about ten years.” Which indicates that the Musical is set 1968. Also, upon research tells that the original strikes took place in 1968.  Eddie also (when asked about the date) thinks it might be ‘Pancake day’ which took place on the 27th of February, indicating it is early spring. The original Conference in Eastbourne took place on the 25th of April 1968 ♣ How much time passes during the play? ₔ Based on this, roughly two months pass in the space of the musical, (approximately 8 weeks.) How is the passage of time represented? ₠ After ‘wossname’ in scene 4, the scene jumps to Westminster with Prime Minister, but upon returning to Dagenham in scene 6 with the number ‘PAY DAY’ its now jumped to evening and the factory workers are celebrating pay day. In Scene 9, Harold opens the scene by saying “So Barbara, you’ve had those lovely legs of yours under the desk for a week now” having given her the job in scene 5 indicating a week has passed since then. In ‘Everybody Out” when the Machinists are off to Liverpool, there is a break in the singing where the music reflects the sound of a train moving at speed, which indicates the Workers have made the journey to Liverpool. Between choruses the song jumps to sections of dialogue, often phone calls between higher-class characters panicking about a potential strike, which shows time passing in the choruses. There is a montage used for the number ‘Storm Clouds’ in which scenes blurred together and connected with sections of song. It moves between locations and jumps through time, mostly with a chorus of “Storm Clouds, on the horizon”. Act 2 scene 2 see Rita is handing out the striker pay, which hints another week has passed and this is their fist pay day since going on strike. The launch of the 1600E Cortina is also mentioned to be on Friday, and the next scene jumps to that launch in a Car Showroom. ₠ How wealthy are the characters? ₡ There is a definite split between characters in terms of pay: Rita and Eddie are both working parents, who at the beginning of the show have been re-graded to B grade, meaning they’re paid for unskilled work. The same goes for all the female machinists; Beryl, Clare, Cass and Sandra. This is easy to see from the way thy talk about they’re working environment, they’re constant verbal abuse of management (shouting “Bastards” at every mention) and the uneducated quality of their diction. The Shop stewards (Connie, Sid and Bill) are perhaps a little better off even before the women were graded B, as they are part of the union. Monty was a convener and is being paid more again, however they are all still very much the working class. We see these characters more in meeting than grafting. Mr Hopkins, Mr Macer and Mr Hubble are all much higher up in Directing and management. Of these, Hopkins is likely paid the most. They are well off, and few worries over money. Hopkins has a country house in Essex (as mentioned by Lisa) we never see these characters getting their hands dirty. They spend all their time organizing meetings, telling people what to do, and it seems most importantly, drinking tea. Mr Tooley is the Ford U.S Executive. He Pay grade is considerably higher, with great responsibilities regarding the company. He even flies over from America to try and bust the strike. Other only worries he has about money is making sure other people don’t get too much of it. He is all boss, and is treated with great courtesy by all the management team at Ford. Harold Wilson and Barbara Castle work in the government; Wilson being the Prime minister and so are both of the upper class. They also have no need to worry about money (of their own). Harold Smokes a pipe and states that the TUC “pay for my holidays in the Scilly Isles. They underlay in my bathroom!” and Barbra’s learning to drive –both a costly. ₡ Is there a hierarchy? ₣ Interestingly enough, there isn’t always a correlation between pay grade and position in the hierarchy. At Westminster, although Harold Wilson is Prime Minister, Barbara Castle is a much stronger character than him, and isn’t afraid to disagree with him, often putting him in his place by saying “I’m a busy women” going as far as “ I’ll turn on you”. Mr Tooley easily has the most power at Ford, we see he’s top of the Hierarchy as soon as he arrives on the scene at the beginning of act 2. He enters on dry ice with the sound of a chopper I the background and with his barking attitude and bullish nature soon sets everyone on edge. No-one can go against his order. Next comes Hopkins, or orders all the shop stewards around. He tells Hubble off for his dirty jokes. Despite this he has a very different relationship with the workers –they make fun of him behind his back, and Sid and Bill do so cheekily in front of his face. Although Monty is technically higher up than them as a Union Convener, they mock him and show little respect, indicating the hierarchy works the other way round in relation to their pay grade. With the machinists, the majority of them seem reasonably equal, however Beryl seems a head above the other women due to her attitude, particularly towards Clare. She appears to be at the bottom of the hierarchy due to her limited aspirations and imagination, never mind her constant inability to put her name on… errr…errr… things. Initially Rita seems just part of the crowd, but she is put forward to go to the meeting with management with Connie and Monty. From here she becomes the ringleader, and eventually lead the women in, through and out of the strike until they achieve equal pay. She doesn’t back down, and refuses to take anything less than their demands. Lisa Hopkins has little chance to be part of a hierarchy, as she seems to have little chance to interact with people. However, upon meeting Rita she seems to treat her as an equal, offering to start a petition with her. However, she does seem to hold a little more power, being the wife of Managing Director Hopkins. ₣ How does their wealth or lack of it affect them? ₤ The effect of Money is most easily observed in the Hopkins and O’grady Households. Where as we see Lisa and Jeremy Hopkins positively swimming in money, with a large house and every latest product they could want, Rita and Eddie O’grady are working parents, who have tow work together to pay the bills and have very little time to spare. Hopkins is rich enough to have a trophy wife, Lisa. She is educated, beautiful and despite her own wishes doesn’t work. When the women decide to strike, it has a heavy effect on the O’grady household; soon enough their television is taken away, and they struggle heavily. Aside from the pressure put on Hopkins to get them back to work, the Hopkins are untouched. Sandra struggles heavily on strikers pay of £2 a week, and her will breaks upon being offered a promotions contra, showing she struggles heavily with the strain of having little to no money. Perhaps due to their excess of money, the higher-class men such as Hopkins and Harold Wilson are numb to these effects. Connie, who’s been struggling against the inequality of the sexist payment system all her life is passionate about issue. She even mentioned in her solo Song that originally she made jokes to make herself fell better, but now “it doesn’t seem quite so funny”. She can look back and see her mistakes, and heavily regrets them. For this reason she acts as a true guide to the women, and is the main trigger for the strikes, as she gives Rita the incentive. The male factory workers hold some resentment against management, as they seem to do nothing and get paid much more, shown by the fun they poke at them. However, they have some level of acceptance for the small wage they get. They are divided opinions when the women go on strike. Initially the men are supportive, though with no direct helping hand. Some mock them for going on strike. This all changes however when Mr Tooley lays off nearly 5000 men. Rather than blame Tooley, many men get angry with the women – “you happy now, Connie Riley!? You’ve closed down Dagenham!”. This shows there is a faire amount of pressure on them due to their low wage, and they can’t afford not to work. ₤ What are the social environments of the characters like? ₦ Are their differences in the social backgrounds and current environments? ₦ Many of the workers have very little social lives; most of it consists of work breaks and parties on payday. We see the Women having a chat on their break early in act one, and all the workers are at bar for the number ‘Pay Day’. The most socializing we see them do is on their tea breaks. For many of them, this will be how it was since they were teenagers, so their socials background doesn’t change, pehrpas starting out like Barry; as an apprentice. Lisa Hopkins has the most unfortunate social life. In the middle of the Essex countryside, as she rightly points out, she has nothing to do. In the late 1960s it wouldn’t be seen as socially acceptable for a trophy wife to go out and socialize without her husband. Unable to work, she can only go out shopping and spend time with a horse that ‘doesn’t like her’. We see her holding a huge grudge against her husband due to this, and she tests him often, trying to get a reaction, by serving duck eggs fro breakfast and states that her morning routine will be to “set fire to the women’s institute” –every word riddled with sarcasm. Naturally, the odd social event comes upon, which she is permitted to attend on the arm of her husband. Her social background was from that of a higher-class Family, meaning she will have spent time learning etiquette. She will have spent little time in the company of men (as that was socially unacceptable) even when studying her degree. The most socializing she can do is a ‘Tupperware party’ ; as suggested by her husband. Connie spends half her time with the men, and half with the women, as it’s her job to keep up communication between management and the machinists. She’s grown old working in a man’s world, and that’s what she’s used to. She’s says she’s been in the job since she was 16, and she feels very trapped in what she’s doing, but also that it was her own doing. We don’t see much of Barbara Castle or Harold Winson’s social lives, as Barbara is very professional, and we only see them in work. Its clear that Harold has little experience with women (socially) and he Babbles a lot when the machinists visit Barbara in Westminster, reeling of the times he’s met women, and even including ‘passing them on the stairs’. ₦ How will this affect how the characters will interact with one another? ₧ When Hopkins and other management team member such as Macer, Hubble and Mr Buckton interact with characters like Rita or Connie, they treat them very formerly but are slightly patronizing. They attempt to use complicated language to try and confuse them to avoid arguments or resistance. This works at first for Mr Buckton on Rita, though its clear that she’s a quick learner as she uses what she learnt from him against Hopkins in their meeting. When Barbara interacts with Harold, he attempt to be a little informal with her, being very round-about, but she cuts straight to the point. She very professional about her job; as a strong women in a mans world, she can’t afford mistakes. Interestingly enough, she softens a little when talking to Rita and the machinists, seemingly torn between he job and her desires she even says its her ‘job to get them back to work, but then again she’s a women’. This shows she is much less formal with the working class women, perhaps because she came into politics to ‘ease the lot of the working classes’. In their own groups, they often treat each other as equal (the men to the men, the women to the women). They all tend to tease Barry the apprentice, as he’s the youngest there, and hasn’t really established himself as one of the team yet. ₧ Are any of the characters influenced by events/beliefs? ₨ What effect does this have on the way the characters behave? ₩ All the women share the view that they should have equal pay. The first event that affects all the machinists is the new grade; they are put down as unskilled workers. They are all outraged at this, and decide to put forward a formal grievance. Rita is the main character motivated by events within the show. Her meeting with Mr Buckton seems to flare a little passion inside her. When Management have to organise a meeting due to the fact that Monty hasn’t signed off the new grades, Rita is vote to attend with Connie and Monty by the women. Hopkins, Hubble and Macer make no effort to listen in this meeting, and persist the machinists are unskilled despite Rita’s good arguments (partially inspired by Connie’s wise words in her solo song). This motivates Rita to the point that she urges the other women to go on strike, even traveling to Liverpool to convince the women there. this is all after she though she wouldn’t speak up at all as she “ain’t political”. Every time the bosses through something at them, she uses the blow to motivate herself. Mr Tooley is clearly motivated by his capitalist beliefs. He is determined that women shouldn’t have equal pay, as it would cost more for Ford, describing “Domino theory” to show how once they have equal pay in Britain, it’ll spread to Europe. He believes in being brutal, and lays off 5000 workers just to cut off the O’grady’s money in an attempt to bust the strike. Harold Wilson seems to believe that women shouldn’t6 be working. He has a very old fashioned view on things, and even questions why women are working, as the war is over. Rather than try and tackle any problem himself, he gives them to others to deal with, even creating a new ‘position in parliament’ for Barbara Castle. When Connie falls ill, and beseeches Rita to take over from her, Rita agrees. It is this event that influences Eddie to take the kids away, as their mother isn’t supporting them. He feels (rightly) that he has tried his best to support Rita until this point, but they can’t go on like this. Although Rita is heartbroken, she refuses to back down, and decides to see everything through. At the end of the show however, Eddie understands when he watches Rita give her speech, and gain the vote for equal pay. Lisa Hopkins, in conflict with her husband believes she should be aloud to work. She’s a few decades before her time, unable to use her degree in History. The Women striking seems to inspire some extra defiance in her, and she starts a Job working for the Spectator Magazine. ₨ ₩ What clues are there to the past lives of the characters? ₪ How will their past affect their futures? ₫ Are there any references to key events prior to the play? € Do any of the characters carry scars or memories from past events? ₭ How does this affect them now? ₮ Are their conflicts of tension between what the characters want? ₯ Do the main characters want to change their situations? ₰ Is there a difference in what the characters say they will do and actually do? ₱ How does morality or upbringings affect the characters actions? ₲ Are there direct references to the characters appearances? ₳ Are there any connections between how a character looks and behaves? ₴ What is the significance of the title? (Metaphoric or literal) ₵ Are there any key lines or speeches that summarise or capture the mood of the play? ₸ What is the main plot and how does it develop? ₹ Is there a sub plot? ₺ How can the shape of the play be best described – a story? Episodes? A journey? As a diagram or map? ₼ Which scenes are the most important? Why? ₽ Which scene is the least important? Why? ₾ How important to the piece is the set/lighting/costume/props/sound? ⃰ What is the climax of the play? Are issues resolved at the end? How much direction is given by the playwright in terms of stage directions? ℅ Which character is the antagonist? (Opposes the main action) ℓ Are their other protagonists or antagonists?№ Do any of the characters change from one to the other? ℗ How formal is the language used by the characters? ™ What is the level of education of the characters? Ω Do the characters use certain phrases or words or ways of speaking? ℮ How are the songs structured? (Monologue, dialogue, duologue, triologue, short sentences etc) ⅍ What kind of imagery is used? ⅎ What is the objective of each scene/unit? What is the super objective of the play? ⅓ What are the characters motivations and do they change in each scene? ↄ Does the play relate to any previous theatrical or written work? ← If so what are the links between them? ↑