#the new gotg movie was actually really fucking good if you can believe

[faerygardens]

Since the gotg soundtrack is now on the early 2000’s there is a nonzero chance that the next time we see them in the MCU they will be accompanied by a gorillaz song

[fancykraken]

Here are more in-depth thoughts about Thor in Endgame because I need to barf some feels about it now.

To start off with I’m just going to say that I think they went the right way with Thor in this movie. Now, when I say that—because I know a lot of my fellow Thor lovers are not happy at the moment and to an extent I am too—I am not meaning the surface of what was seen by others and a lot of the audience. 

I went into the movie knowing what was happening with him, so it wasn’t a big shock for me to see it (just the visuals were a bit surprising at first because I didn’t know what it would be like). I’m glad I knew going ahead of time because my knee jerk reaction would have been ‘oh, hell no.’ 

So what I mean by how I think for the most part they went the right way with Thor is this:

SPOILERS FOR THOR IN ENDGAME BELOW

[eta] um, didn’t realize how long this would get so if you do read it all I appreciate it and also have a cookie. <3

I think it was the right thing for him to completely fall apart and let the depression, PTSD, and trauma take over. I think that was a very clever part of letting people see underneath the surface of the King of Asgard. How could he not be fucked up by the end of Ragnarok and events of IW? It’s not possible, only a person completely devoid of empathy and emotion could just go on with their day. Not Thor. His heart is so big and so caring that he fell apart because of it. 

The delivery of the line “I went for the head” gutted me. You can hear how utterly broken he is. Kudos to Chris Hemsworth for that because damn, that was heavy. You can see him lose touch with reality in a sense after that, the final nail in the coffin of his guilt. So to see him in New Asgard, much heavier, drunk, dissociating, and suffering was pretty much the only path you can take (not meaning physical details here just the overall concept).

It’s a very real and hard look at what someone like him has been through and the results of it. It’s like Tony in Iron Man 3 with his anxiety and PTSD. How can you not go through something like that and come out on the other side all sunshine and roses?

This is what I really think they did right with him in this movie. This is more the reality of the aftermath of trauma and while yes it is presented in a very flippant and comedic way it is still very good underneath all of that. Strip it down and you see how broken he is. I think Chris Hemsworth played it very well. While his performance was still more geared for comic relief, the pain, the denial, the fear, the guilt, the sadness was still there just underneath the surface and could clearly be seen. He was muddled, rambly, defensive, moody, which for me as someone who deals with depression and anxiety illnesses on a daily basis I can 100% confirm that these are some of the symptoms of these things.

The scene with Frigga was the right move because I think that no one except Frigga could help him tip the scales of him starting to heal. I know that Thor would have been able to do it himself, but having Frigga there for him to confess to was perfect. He couldn’t tell anyone about what was really inside him because no one except Frigga would understand. Odin could have to an extent, but he’s about as comforting as a thorn bush. And Loki probably could have understood a hell of a great deal as well, but he’s gone and he has his whole host of problems and self-loathing. Frigga was the right choice for this. And I know the fat jokes were there, the only one I personally will let slide is her saying ‘eat a salad’ because that is what mum’s do. I don’t think it came from a standpoint of Thor just being heavy, I think it was more just to have him healthier and clearer headed. He’s pretty much been drunk for 5 years straight, boo needs some vitamins and good nutrition.

Also, him summoning Mjolnir at the end of their encounter was so beautiful, I thought. He really did not believe he was still ‘worthy’ and despite Odin telling him in Ragnarok that Mjolnir was basically just a hammer and Thor had it in him the whole time it’s very real that depression strips that all away. You feel like a failure, a fraud, and not worthy to anyone. To have Mjolnir come back to him like that and his face light up was just so lovely. I wish he didn’t have to have that validation, but I think it was something he needed at that moment. Need to see physically that he was still Thor and worthy of all that he is and has to offer to people.

Now, having said all that and taking away the layers that were on the surface, the surface was... not great. I don’t mean as Thor himself and the performance, but the way the movie, story, other characters treated him. And I think a good part of it was there wasn’t time to go into it. The movie did need comic relief and release of all that tension in the room. Thor was just the unlucky guy to be tasked with almost all of that.

There’s an article here that kind of goes into the thought process of the filmmakers and while I agree to an extent, I also think they went about it the wrong way.

This quote, in particular, made me think a lot:

This was their way of showing how survivors are suffering and punishing themselves after the Snap. This was a physical way of manifesting the grief and regret Thor feels. But how do you punish a deity? How do you show that someone who looks like Chris Hemsworth has let everything go?

They made him a trainwreck.

I think the real problems I had with Thor and I know a lot of others in this was that whole movie concept of ‘show, don’t tell’. They went the very, very showy route.

The weight gain honestly was a bit surprising at first when I heard about it, but really I couldn’t give a fuck. I love him no matter what. I’d still glad drag him to bed if I were given the opportunity. I just wish they could have done a better job with the actual weight on his body. Hemsworth is obviously in peak physical shape, so the obvious thing was to just slap a fat suit on him and call it a day. I really don’t think they put enough thought into how fat would have distributed on his body and frame. It’s almost as if there are *gasps* no fat people in Hollywood to talk to about this. *rolls eyes* They really could have done better with the physical aspect of his body.

The fat jokes... well, as someone who has been fat their entire life they can be very triggering for me and I honestly had one or more anxiety attacks after hearing that he would be heavier for the duration of the film before seeing it. While the fat jokes aren’t really blatant fat jokes (it’s kind of hard for me to explain to people who haven’t had similar situations like me), I was okay. I’ve heard the fat jokes before, I’ve been the victim of many fat jokes before, so while I would have preferred not to have any, I think they were the milder of what you could have. If that makes any sense.

I am very tired of the trope that the fat people are only there for the comedic relief. I wish they could have toned that down a lot because I am tired of the way media treats fat people. Tired that fat people don’t get to be superheroes unless they’re a villain or just there for the laughs or laughs as a side character that helps out the superheroes. In this way, the movie let me down and let Thor as a character down. I think Ragnarok set up very nicely the balance of Thor’s comedic side and serious side. He was funny but not funny as to diminish him as a character or the storyline. This just felt he was there to be the funny one, like Drax in GotG Vol. 2 and I haaaaaated him in that. 

One good thing they did right by him in respect of his weight is that they didn’t change it. He stayed the same during the whole film and didn’t have any special powers or short cuts to make him buff again or ‘right’ again as a large part of the toxic beauty/health industry/society has taught us. He was still the mighty Thor only with an added beer gut. 

While I felt like his final battle wasn’t as epic as it was in Ragnarok or IW, I still think he kicked a lot of ass and took a lot of names. 

And his Magical Girl transformation at the end... hoo boy I needed a moment there. The hair and beard with the braids it was just... ghnnnn amazing. It was true Nordic Viking God Thor right there. 

Overall his arc in this movie wasn’t as deep as I was expecting. They definitely gave that to Tony and Steve. Thor’s journey was more there for the comic relief. I’m still not sure of how I feel about the end and the way he took off with the Guardians. It felt wrong but also like it was needed in a weird way. I’m still thinking over that. What I felt was wrong is that it severely throws out what was done in previous movies about Thor and his leadership, love for his people, and him being king of Asgard. That felt like a big slap to the face for me. When I first heard of that I felt so angry, so hurt that they would throw out everything that was built up for Thor and his overall character. After seeing it I’m less of that mind, but those feelings are still there. I think it may have sat with me better if it wasn’t just Thor literally handing Valkyrie the keys to New Asgard and buggering off. Because on the surface that’s what it was. I think it would have been better if it was presented as Valkyrie as temp ruler of Asgard while Thor went off to heal or find himself, which he is doing and I want him to do, or even find a new planet to be Asgards home, but not like that. The utter devotion and care for his people was such a key point for him in the previous movies. He’s better than that and to strip that all away and just hand it off to Valkyrie even if she is technically the better leader at the moment hurts. It could have been handled so much better and have Thor not feel so OOC at the end.

I really, really hope that this isn’t the end of Thor’s story because it feels unfinished. They left it open ended for more unlike with Tony and Steve. The Guardians still have another movie and I am really wondering if Thor will still be a part of that with this story. Will he be there to tie in Angela if she is introduced? I don’t know, but I want more, not just because he is my fave but because I feel as if his journey isn’t complete. It’s like there’s something missing and he needs to have the final say and find this inner peace. Tony and Steve were given this complete circle and that circle has been closed. Thor’s has not and while I can understand we may never get that as tight as the others, I think there’s definite room for it.

After seeing this I really hope the rumours of a Thor 4 will come true, especially with Taika. I can see a really fun movie of Thor healing and learning to live with the past. Will he be out there looking for Loki? Will he be with the Guardians? Will he be out there just him doing him? Who knows.

They tried to hold onto that humour from Ragnarok and some moments they did, but ultimately they failed spectacularly with pushing it way too far. If they pulled it back some and tweaked some things with the way others interacted with him then I think it would have been a lot less jarring.

If you’ve read this far then kudos to you. I know this may seem kind of a convoluted meta and thoughts about him in Endgame and I’m still very much in a mindset of that. I loved some of what was done for him/to him in the movie and hated other things. I need more time to digest.

tl;dr version: I love Thor so gd much

[pwnyta]

Full Endgame spoilers/review:

(TL;DR: It was really fucking good. Theres some bad obviously but overall worth it. Even after reading the spoilers and feeling like I may not like it as much as I thought I would... I actually liked it more.)

- - So as I said I loved the movie I had some gripes but overall I thought it was one hell of a fun, entertaining movie. I'll go by each characters story in my review saving Cap and Tony for last.

Natasha- Honestly? Though I think the MCU dropped the ball on the 0G6 being a believable family... I think Nats role in this movie was sweet. I really like the scene where Tony Nat and Bruce were laying down talking about Strange and the stones. It was really cute but it really made me wish we got to see this earlier. Joss dropped the ball hard in AoU. Ive said it one and I'll say it again. AoU should have been the movie where the Avengers were a solid unit throughout the movie.Nats death was... heroic but honestly her and Clint beating the shit out of each other because neither could stand the thought of the other being sacrificed was kinda funny and cute which is jarring to the story. It kinda sucks that she was fridged before the final battle though.

Clint- What are the fucking odds that every one of his family was dusted? But w/e. Clint having a wild sword battle in Japan... it was ridiculous and weird and IDK what they were thinking with that scene but it was played really dramatically but I laughed? Cuz it was so over the top and silly... even though he just slit that guys throat and Nats like :c Clint~ honey no its fine... and they hold hands over the guys warm corpse. LMFAO WHAT!? Im at least happy his kids got him back if nothing else.

Bruce- ... Bruce with Hulks big green body? NICE. Thats gonna have some interesting fanart I can already tell and I lift my glass to you. I once tried to draw a little comic where Bruce and Hulk separated but also had swapped bodies.... so Bruce had Hulks body but I never did finish it I wonder if I still have it saved somewhere. Anyways. Honestly? I found Bruce in this movie to be equal parts funny and annoying? Like it was a bit jarring sometimes that he was so lighthearted despite everything.

Thor- When I read the spoilers I thought I was gonna really dislike Thor but watching it I understood where Thor was coming from and I couldnt really blame him for spiraling and its not like anyone close to him seemed to even check up on him despite clearly knowing where he was. Im really sad that it took all those years and only until he was needed for someone to try and talk Thor through what he was going through. Im not annoyed with Thor. Im annoyed with the rest of them (minus Tony and I guess Clint? Considering.). Bruce was his friend in Ragnarok, Nat keeps talking about them being family, and Steve is their leader where the hell were they? Unless im missing something... I guess Valkyrie too but shes been picking up his slack as a leader and was holding the Asgardians together so I can cut her some slack. ANYWAYS. Thor was kinda funny in the movie but it was kind of hard to enjoy his goofiness. It kind felt like Tony in IM2. Speaking of Im glad Tony seemed really tolerant of Thors drunk behavior... I was sure he would throw a lot of shots like Rocket did. I wish they had a moment to talk about Thor self medicating with booze... Tonys been there. I get why they couldnt really but.. His scene with Frigga was really nice. Frigga is a bad bitch raised by witches and shit.... she knows all~ A wise woman that Frigga.

Scott- HOLY SHIT Did I love Scott in this movie. He was soo funny and cute... and bullied a lot. You know I have a thing for easily bulliable character. And Scott just got spanked left and right. His helpless goofiness reminded me of Harry from KKBB a little. He bounced off everyone well and it makes me kinda wish he was one of the OG6 instead of Clint. He was more of the heart that kept the Avengers together than anyone. Also him and Tony talking about Caps ass? HILARIOUS. Bisexual icons honestly. 'That suit did nothing for your ass.' 'No one asked you to look!' 'I think you look great Cap as far as Im concerned thats Americas ass!' and then later Caps all 'That IS Americas ass.' Unbelievable. But his best scene is still him reuniting with Cassie. She was so big! Im so happy she got her dad back... but Bruces failed time travel machine scene.... that was a close second. 'Somebody peed my pants... idk if it was baby me or old me........ or me me.' Also the 'whats up regular sized man' scene is longer and more hilarious than the preview showed. FUCK YOUR TACO SCOTT. At least Bruce is nice to him. I ship GreenAnt a little. Rocket petting Scott and mockingly calling him a puppy. SAME.

Rhodey- JESUS RHODEY. Speaking of hilarious idiots. Im glad he got a bigger roll in this movie but he didnt hug Tony when he got back so whats the point? BUT W/E... He was hilarious and amazing. It was nice to see him step up as one of the sorta leaders after the snappening. But he was also A HUGE FUCKING DORK THE ENTIRE WAY THROUGH. Thinking that a secret cavern with a spooky name would be boobytrapped like in Indiana Jones and trying to convince Nebula to be careful. Naming a bunch of shitty time travel movies to prove a point about time travel (with Scotts help) and going back in time to kill baby Thanos...and Bruce was like 'yeah... no...' and him fucking TRASHING the magic of the iconic opening scene of the first GotG where Quill is dancing.... 'so hes an idiot?' RHODEY PLEEEEAAASSSEEEE have mercy. Him and Nebula are a trip. Also I made a note to mention Don Cheadles BEAUTIFUL soft voice. So here it is. I love Don Cheadles beautiful soft voice. He had too few scenes with Tony but their first scene when Tony starts freaking out and hes trying to get Tony to calm down was pretty good... and god that ending.... ;-; How come Rhodey got NO lines while Tony was dying? But also in the same position I dont think Id have any words either. I too would just cry. And did... for Tony. But yeah besides his lack of scenes with Tony I really loved Rhodeys scenes. I usually do. Hes adorable.

Nebula: Sweetie... You are just amazing. Shes legit one of the best most solid characters in the movie. The opening scenes between her and Tony? FUCKING adorable. Im sad we dont see more of them after the time skip. I also wish we got a longer scene of Neb and Rocket talking when she gets to earth... I guess just seeing them sit together sadly was enough to portray the emotions but.... I MEAN. More Nebula wouldnt hurt anyone. Having to see two tortured versions of Nebula was upsetting. Future Nebula who lost so much and past Nebula still under Thanos' thumb. 'You can change!' 'He wont let me' OOF. Im sad that past Nebula was killed... but appreciate that even in that moment past Gamora was upset to see her be killed. Im glad with Present Neb, Gamora was so easily heel-face turned. She loves her sister. Also their moment after past Gamora beats up present Quill was hilarious 'Really? This is the guy?' 'The choices were him or a tree.' WHAT ABOUT DRAX, NEBULA?! I know I said I may not watch any MCU movies after this but I might tune in for GotG3 for Nebula (and Thor).

Steve: I actually ENJOYED Steve in this movie for the most part. For the first time in any movie... even by himself I kind of enjoyed Steve. Especially the scene when hes fighting himself and his past self says 'I can do this all day' and hes like 'Tst... yeah I know... okay' Like he was sick of his own damn bullshit. And frankly? Same. Also him whispering 'Hail hydra' to get the scepter? Hilarious. I cant help but see it as a knock at that shitty Hydra Cap comic that everyone hated. But despite me enjoying Steve for most of the film... the MCUs inability to write a good romance and pretending like Steve and Peggys relationship was a peak or something completely undoes it all. It would still NOT BE GREAT regardless but the fact the RUSSOS are the ones who brought Sharon into TWS in the first place makes it SO MUCH WORSE that Steve dipped out. Steve should have moved on... even if it wasnt with Sharon. They could have at least MENTIONED HER but they knew they couldnt because then it would be too highlighted that Steve is a fucking FUCK BOY who used the niece of the woman he loved as a surrogate and that him going back to the past means hes gonna be meeting little Sharon at some point. Also? Really? Steve you have this whole new family you supposedly love and can live your life with but you rather go back in the past because the first woman who was nice to you was there? Move on. Its so fucking weird that hes so obsessed with her. You have your childhood friend and the rest of your new friends... and supposedly a girlfriend. IDK how anyone could be happy with that ending for him. But I guess its in character... remember the note he sent Tony 'I've been on my own since I was 18.' What about Bucky? He was there with you and you had family in the Avengers supposedly. Natasha seemed to think so. YOURE SUCH A FUCKIN SCUMBAG STEVE. Jesus.

Tony: First of all Id just LOVED his scenes with Nebula as I said. He sat there patiently teaching how to play paper football and held her win. It was REALLY cute. When he passed out she picked him up off the floor and sat him down on the chair and pat him. REAL CUTE. He nicknamed her 'The Blue Meanie' its cute and he tried to give her the last of their food but she insisted he eat it. Bobbos eyes never looked more gorgeous than in that scene where Carol finds them honestly. Tonys I told you so was really really sad. It had a lot of feeling like that scene in AoU when he laughs hysterically and starts ranting? Rhodey tried to calm him down but he just ripped into Cap. Also he yanked off his arc reactor and I FULLY JUMPED IN PANIC because I forgot it wasnt in him. I fully flinched. But he pulled his heart out and gave it to Steve and then passed out. Tony and Peppers daughter is ADORABLE. And her interactions with Tony are so sweet. Domestic Tony is lovely. I love that when Steve and the gang roll up on him Morgan runs out during their discussion and is like 'Mom told me to come and save you....' and hes like 'Well Ive been saved!' REAL CUTE. Also he swore and his daughter copied him and hes like NOOOOO!!!!!!! LMAO. LANGUAGE Tony. Tony is motivated to fix things seeing that pic of him and Peter. Hes such a softie. IM REALLY REALLY SAD that we finally see Pepper kinda GET Tonys need to be Iron Man and is like 'But could you rest?'. The one time she encourages him to go back to be Iron Man and he fucking DIES. Im so sad for Pepper. But that scene between them where shes like 'We'll be ok.... you can rest now.' FUCK. Im crying again. That scene between him and Steve- 'Someone shoula warned you~' 'You did...' 'Oh did I? Thank god Im here' has the same energy as 'Who taught you how to dance?' 'You did.' 'Well Ive done a marvelous job!' It was pretty great. Tonys nicknames for Scott are 'Pissant' and 'Thumbelina.' Im not OVERLY fond of his scenes with Howard. But honestly? My brother is the same way with our dad... he just chooses to forget the bad stuff and focus on the few good times. I cant do that but if it made Tony happier then VERY WELL. I wish Tony coulda talked to Jarvis too tho... just a word... anything? Best Tony scene is Peter babbling about how he musta passed out because Tony was gone and and and and Tony just hugs him so tightly and Peters hugs back and is like :D 'this is nice'! Though that STARK contrast of them after Tony uses the gauntlet... and Peter is like 'Mr Stark... we won... we did it... no Mr Stark...' Big Simba and Mufasa feels (and kind of Hughes and Elicia tbh). Not cool Disney. I was already crying. Rhodey was the first to reach Tony and Tony couldnt say ANYTHING to anyone and Rhodey just pets his cheek... Tony was just looking around as his family just has to watch helplessly as hes dying and Pepper tells him its ok. His funeral was really nice. He recorded a message for everyone kind of like his message for Pepper on the ship. Everyone was there... I think even Harley (Im really sad we didnt see them get reunited even once). The scene with Happy and Morgan was really sweet. 'I'll buy all the cheeseburgers you want....' It was cool to because... ya know.... Jon Favreau. He got a really beautiful end. I wish he could just retire and live with Pep and Morgan... but if he had to die... that was a really lovely sendoff. SO ALL IN ALL. Awesome movie. I didnt get to see past elderly Steve passing the shield off to Sam... I'll have to rewatch it again when theres a better version. Especially for that fucking STUNNING end battle. Even with the shitty cam I watched it looked AMAZING and I cant wait for it in HD.

[amberandmetal]

Thoughts on Endgame

Spoilers under the cut

Let’s start with the negatives to get it out of the way, yeah?

I can not believe they didn’t fix the travesty that was Loki’s death in IW. That big of a character? That character arc? A character that was only supposed to be a one movie villain yet became one of the most beloved characters of the entire MCU? You fully expect us to believe that the end of such an amazing character would be going at Thanos with a dagger and being killed off in the beginning of a movie? Like he was nothing? Insulting to Loki, insulting to the fans.

I can understand why they killed Nat instead of Clint, although I was fuming during that scene, I did not cry one bit, I was that pissed off. And yeah maybe the patriarchy has made me bitter and resentful but all I could think of was “You really gonna do that? Kill off the only female Avenger of the original 6?” and especially after how they have treated her character, giving her a new personality every movie. It didn’t feel right. Would’ve made more sense (to me at least) for Hawkeye to take the plunge and for Nat to dissappear at the end of the movie, just leaving never to be heard of again. It feels more in line with their characters. But maybe that’s just me.

Thor. Don’t even get me started on the dumpsterfire that is Thor’s character. Up until Ragnarök he was consistent, he made sense. Then ragnarök came and turned both Thor and Loki into cartoons, a character development that made no sense. And now the Russos finished Taika’s work by putting the final nail in Thor’s characterisation coffin by making him a parody of himself. And also, I am deeply dissapointed in the MCU for turning obesity into a joke. “Look, a fat Thor, how funny, ha-ha.” Oh, and let’s not forget that apparently panic attacks are comedy gold as well. Thor is not this cartoon comic relief and I will deny anything Thor related post-AOU until my dying day. 

They fucking screwed Banner in much the same way. They turned him into a buffon and a comic relief.

I actually had a feeling Steve would find a way back into the 40′s and settle down with Peggy. And even though I think that’s a perfect ending for him, to finally get what he wanted (because yeah Steggy is canon, Peggy is the love of Steve’s life, and Stucky and Stony are fanon, get it straight (badum-tss) people/ sincerely a Stony shipper), it raises way too many questions about the timelines. If Steve stayed with Peggy then wouldn’t that create a different timeline because even though a second Steve would still get woken from the ice in 70 years, there is Peggy and the husband and children she never had that she in the “normal” timeline already had. And if so then our Steve is in a different timeline so how tf did he end up in the “normal” timeline all those years later, like an old man. How did he swap timelines? Or does the Russos have another explanation for what happened with Steve’s time fiddling?

Tony’s death. I still haven’t cried about it because it’s so surreal. It’s like my heart mind won’t accept it. I love how they gave him the final line from the first Iron man movie as his last one ever, but it still.. yeah I can’t really go into it because I haven’t fully processed it yet. Joe Russo being a doctor in CATWS and now he was a survivor in group? Are we supposed to think it’s the same character? He didn’t act like it? Like what was that?

And for all of you complaining about how “Steve would never leave Bucky behind”, did you not catch on when Bucky said “I’m going to miss you”? I mean clearly Steve would not do something like this without talking it through with Bucky first and I can imagine Steve asked if Bucky wanted to do the same, and Bucky refusing. He has suffered way more trauma than Steve, plus a dude with a metal arm in the forties? Schyeah, no. And yeah, Steve did say to Sam that he “got to thinking” or something like that, like the decision was made when he was already back there, but maybe that’s just something he says to Sam. You don’t think Sam would feel hurt or left out if he found out Steve had planned on doing this without telling him? And Bucky fucking knew. Or else he wouldn’t have told Sam to “Come on, go on” to go over to Steve, otherwise Bucky would have fucking gone first. He wasn’t surprised. So either they talked about it beforehand, or they didn’t because they didn’t have to, but Bucky knew.

And lastly my thoughts on the time line conundrum: So let’s call the standard timeline timeline 1, and our original Steve for Steve 1. So Steve 1 goes back in time to be with Peggy, creating Timeline 2 (so the Sam and Bucky he goes to visit shouldn’t be Timeline 1 Sam and Bucky but Timeline 2 Sam and Bucky, but somehow he skipped?), how does this work when Steve 2 gets brought back from the ice and goes to find Peggy, who in this timeline is married to Steve 1? And then when Steve 2 inevitably finds himself in the same Endgame scenario as Steve 1 had done, he will go back in time in Timeline 2. Will that create a Timeline 3 and so on and so forth to eternity? Or will he find himself a.k.a Steve 1 already there with Peggy at the moment where Timeline 1 broke off into Timeline 2?... This is giving me a headache and needs it’s own individual post.. 

Okay now let’s get to the good stuff

I love  my blue queen. Nebula is just amazing. And I love how they brought Gamora back because this Gamora who hadn’t left Thanos and joined the GOTG yet will just bring so much to the next GOTG movie and I am HERE FOR IT.

The scene where everyone came back. Do I need to say more? Best fucking scene in the entire MCU. I cried like full on ugly crying, with the noises and shaking and “fuckfuckfuck what is going on onscreen, everything is blurry!” So powerful.

Our all female attack group to help Danvers get through the masses of alien scum (hell yeah, I’m biased). My heart literally exploded into sunshine and rainbows.

 This deserves two bulletpoints. The female badassery!

Steve-motherfucking-Rogers picking up Mjölnir. Steve-motherfucking-Rogers is hella worthy.

The cinematography is just insane.

How wellmade the scenes in 2012 were? All the new scenes and angles we got to see and just, wow.

They managed to keep all these different timelines, stories and characters in time with each other in a way that it didn’t feel scattered and it all made sense.

Peter being a flailing potato teenager when he came back and the look  on Tony’s face.

Morgan Stark.

Stan Lee’s cameo.

Tony getting some closure with Howard.

Pepper Potts kicking ass and taking names in her own suit.

Rocket being a sassmaster (as well as Nebula “Watch out. There’s an idiot on the landsite.”)

The reconcileation between Cap and Tony. (Still lamenting the absence of the hug we all deserved but hey, what u gonna do?)

Valkyrie on her fucking winged horse, oh my fucking god I think the last hetero in me went belly up at that moment.

Carol- fucking- Danvers.

Frigga.

Tony checking out Steve’s ass. “That is America’s ass”

The Steve x Steve fight? New kink activated, just saying.

I’m sure there are more points and I will update this when I think of them, but this is what I got so far. And even though there’s a lot that pissed me off I am still very much happy with it and just in awe. I’m sad but.. yeah this was a good ending.

[xxxtwilightaxelxxx]

Avengers Endgame (spoilers)

So yeah I saw endgame last night and it was really good, it didn’t feel like over 3 hours at all. It made me cry a lot and it has made me think about getting the blurays to the films ones day, either the phase 1,2,3 (and 4 if there is one) or one huge collective one of the films up to now.

I have some points I’d like to make, some good, some bad:

I was really shocked how little screen time Carol got, like she was in the posters and trailers but barely in it, I get after going on the tags that it was a movie focused on the original 6 because some were leaving and she is now part of the new generation so she’s gonna be in future films but I would have liked a bit more, especially in the final fight. Also seeing her with short hair wow!! She has short hair in the comics right? I’m thinking of seeing captain Marvel again if its still in cinema friday since I don’t start till 4 so I could see it before then, I did enjoy cm but I think it missed something to tip it over the edge, I don’t know what but maybe seeing it again I’ll have a different opinion. And also no fury/carol scene??? 

Wanda!!!!! my baby, my wife I missed her so much and seeing her kick arse was fucking amazing, I was quietly cheering when she came back and showing how fucking powerful she is, almost killing Thanos herself if he wasn’t a baby and made that call (same with Carol she almost killed him but he chickened and did the power stone thing). And seeing her talk to Clint at the funeral. I can’t wait for her tv show and to see her again. And I’m gonna be gay for a second and say with Vision gone can she have a girlfriend now XD I would love to see her and Carol interact. 

Seeing Valkyrie again was so awesome I wasn’t sure if she was in it but so happy to see her again, again short time but what we got was good and hope to see her in another film. Plus seeing her on the peagasus was cool also.

That all girl team scene, looovveeedd ittttt I wish it was longer though like three times as long since we see more of the guys fighting and not enough of these incredible women, I hope one day we get to see an all female team film, that would be fucking great. But not seeing Natasha in that was really sad, but I’ve seen posts where they spoke that Natasha paved the way for these girls to be here, now she’s passed the torch over the them, still it didn’t feel the same, maybe if they mentioned her that would have done it. I love it, but it was missing her.

The funny moments like seeing Thor overweight, the american ass scene, when Steve fought himself and baby Scott. When Carol met Peter and Peter met Valkyrie. There were so many good moments especially with the o6, since we wouldn’t be seeing them again. 

Steve and Thor’s hammer, that was super cool and I wasn’t expecting that, neither the audience. I’m guessing it has happened in the comics though but really seeing him use the hammer and his shield was really cool, I’m not fond of CA but he was alright in this film actually. 

I wasn’t expecting the whole go back in time and get the stones story plot, I thought the whole thing was just going to be finding Thanos and getting the stones but after like 15 mins when Thor killed Thanos it’s like...oh..so to get this plot of them going back in time to points in past films was really great and giving the fans a look back at where they were to where they are now.

I really like the avengers past scene, like when they captured Loki and Clint and Natasha got a drink, and Hulk having to take the stairs, I really loved that scene, Avengers is a film I’ve seen maybe four or five times which is rare for me since I pretty much only see a film once unless I really like it (or need to see it before the next one as a refresher) there was just something about it that really made it great.

The fact that five years had gone, I was thinking there might have been a timeskip but not that much, like seeing Natasha trying everything to not show how broken she was before she spoke to Steve, god I can’t imagine, I thought there might have been because of her hair but not that much. Cassie being older I don’t know if the actress just looks older but I’ve been looking up and Cassie would have been 10 in Antman and Wasp so she would be 15/16 in endgame, she just looks older to me. And with Peter and his friends, how does that work with school? their in the same year right? like school year?

The whole Gamora thing...I wasn’t expecting that and I’m not sure what’s going to happen now. With GOTG 3 does this mean it’s going to focus on finding her? And will Nebula be with her or them, I can’t remember if she was on the ship at the end I think she was. I just wanna say I’m happy for Karen getting such a huge job in this like she was in endgame a lot and being a dr who fan I’m happy she got this role and for her to be succeeding.

There are probs more things I can mention if I remember but you know what I need to mention, who left. I was expecting Steve to die at least, what happened to him I’m happy, it was so good to see Peggy again since I really enjoyed the Agent Carter show before they canceled it, it was a beautiful way to end his story. He went back and replaced the stones and decided he wanted the life he wanted even if it meant leaving everyone behind. It was a nice send off for him and him giving the shield to his friend was great. Maybe my opinion on Steve will change when I watched the past films again I don’t know but yeah he got his happy ending.

Tony.....well I fucking cried when he died, I wasn’t expecting it because I only thought Steve would and when it happened oh man seeing him after the snap like just out of it and Pepper being with him, when she said they would be okay and he can go, yeah that did it for me. He got the life he wanted, he got a daughter but he’s not gonna see her grow and I feel bad for them, but seeing how he was from the first iron man film to now how he’s changed. And using that I am iron man line that was fantastic. I didn’t want him to die, retire and go somewhere yeah but not die, but he did save everyone and it had to be someone. His legacy will live on.

What I wasn’t fucking expecting was to see Natasha die...like...when I saw that scene I was in shock, I think I got teary but not full blown because I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, like it didn’t hit me till after the film finished that she was truly gone. I felt terrible for her because she sacrificed herself for her family, she didn’t have a family like Clint or Tony had, she didn’t have the best childhood and did many things she probs wasn’t proud of but for her to sacrifice herself so everyone could come back and her family can reunite was so sad like, she never got to be happy like finding someone to love and adopt some kids of her own and relax, she didn’t get an ending like Steve, and she didn’t get a death scene like Tony. I think that’s why it shocked me because it was so sudden and I just thought she was just going to come back once everything returned. And after reading some tumblr posts it really made me realise how if it wasn’t for her we may not have the female characters we have now, she started that and gave us the girls we have now. And its even more incredible sad she never got to be part of the final fight, that’s what really annoyed me, she didn’t get to be part of that all girl scene, didn’t see them won, or see them come back. I felt like she didn’t get the ending she deserved but given and ending she had to have because they needed someone to sacrifice. Natasha is one of line of girls who helped me realise I’m gay and now there are girls that are continuining that line not just in marvel but everywhere. I kinda pulled her to the side once Wanda came but seeing Endgame made me think how she meant to me then and when I rewatch the films I won’t forget it. When they announced they were finally doing the Black Widow film I said how I wanted a Wanda Maximoff film instead, but now after watching Endgame I can’t wait for it, one final send off from her. 

I think that’s everything really, I look forward to the next generation of films and characters, hoping for more lgbtq+ representation and everything, bringing me more girls to love and future films to enjoy. This was quite a ride, I wish I was more invested in Marvel, but maybe I can look into the comics and try a few :) Thanks for these long years o6 and heres to the future.

[pigletsbigmovie]

endgame spoilers i watched it a couple weeks ago here are my complaints lol

nebula and gamora...... were done so dirty lmao....... i am not surprised, i knew this was gonna happen but still.

i mean i really liked nebula in endgame! i love seeing how far she’s come since gotg! she played a larger role in this film than i was expecting and that was nice!

i just disliked the fact that she ends up killing her past self?? it’s such an example of the problem with these big ensemble films... other characters’ arcs take precedence over other characters and so like while killing her past self makes sense for the overall narrative... it doesnt make sense for nebula’s character arc....

or like how since this the last film in which we’ll be seeing all original avengers together, of course it’s them that are prioritized over other characters which means Of Course it’s tony that ultimately defeats thanos even tho really it makes more sense for thanos to be defeated by nebula and gamora and that would’ve been a rly big development in their arcs but guess not! i guess! no can do!

they tried to make the tony vs thanos conflict this Big Dramatic Thing but in reality it is sooooo impersonal....... which makes the conflict and the resolution of that conflict just not very interesting to me...

like imagine if the gotg films were it’s own franchise. no other marvel movies exist, it’s not connected to anything else, it is it’s own thing. then that would mean the gotg franchise has thanos for itself and those films would be leading up to the defeat of thanos which can be fulfilled by nebula and gamora because theyre protagonists of these films. imagine how satisfying that wouldve been!! like gotg has always focused on themes of family! that franchise ending with nebula and gamora defeating their abusive adoptive father with the help of their new found family wouldve been so emotionally impactful and satisfying!

but nnnoooo instead we get tony vs thanos. they don’t even know each other. they’re just that one guy that got in the way of their desires. just an obstacle. that connection is not deep enough to be interesting

ok i went off on a tangent there but back to nebula killing her past self.... Why. we know that given time, the nebula that we see can change for the better! we know bc we see that nebula right there! our nebula! but nooope instead of getting a powerful scene about nebula literally staring her trauma right in the face and how she feels about that now that she’s grown so much...... she just kills her? i mean she tries to appeal to her? but this past nebula isnt given the time she needs to grow! she’s just killed off with 0 compassion......... and it’s such... a sad and unsatisfying development... like there’s a difference between “letting the past die” and killing your past traumatized self.... like if her past self deserves to die and isnt worthy of compassion then that just goes against our nebula’s entire existence? she is the person she is in the present bc she was shown compassion and was allowed to grow! why is this nebula not deserving of that? it’s literally just bc it’s inconvenient to everyone else... thats awful.

then there’s gamora...... like she finds out about this future in which thanos succeeds in his plan and........... she fucking WAITS???? SHE WAITS TO STOP HIM??? IM SORRY BUT WHHHAAAAT THE FUCK??????

like!!! this is literally around the time in our timeline when gamora enacts her plan to ditch thanos and steal the power stone for herself as soon as she finds out that he’s found it’s location in order to stop it from getting into his hands. you’re telling me that gamora waits A LONG SIGNIFICANT AMOUNT OF TIME after thanos gets all the information he needs to get not just the power stone but ALL THE OTHER INFINITY STONES before attempting to stop him?? YOURE ASKING ME TO BELIEVE THAT?? THAT SHE WOULDNT IMMEDIATELY OR AT LEAST AS SOON AS POSSIBLE TRY TO STOP HIM?

like if i remember correctly, by the time she teams up with future nebula to try to stop thanos, he’s already made significant progress in formulating/enacting his plan to get all the infinity stones..... like she doesnt try to sabotage/steal the information re:time travel in order to keep thanos away from the stones??? it doesnt make sense. it does not make sense that she would wait i cant get over it what the fuck alsooo...... while im glad that gamora isn’t just Dead now and that there’s an alive gamora out and about.... it Upsets me deeply that this isnt our gamora lmao. and this isnt just me being unnecessarily sentimental. it just sucks storytelling wise. gamora underwent so much development from the 1st gotg up to infinity war...... and now all of that is all Gone bc new gamora didn’t experience ANY of that! like saying her development was retconned maybe isn’t exactly true bc all of that development still happened and is Canon but... it’s basically all irrelevant now bc! again! this gamora didnt go through any of it! when peter and gamora reunite in infinity war and peter is emotional and gamora is like What the Fuck? like ha ha yeah funny but...... peter and gamora are very important to each other. theyve been through a lot together. whether or not you like their romance is whatever but them telling each other “i love you” in infinity war was such a HUGH DEAL considering everything they went through as individuals..... and now that development is Gone. and it sucks.

rly i felt all the female characters in endgame got the short end of the stick in this movie :/ like sure theres that One Group Shot... and sure it made whiny men cry so that’s great... it’s cool but like it felt so shallow to me! the bare minimum! very few of the women in that scene actually significantly contributed to the plot of endgame.... like it’s So Easy to put all these women in one shot but it’s a whole other thing entirely to give those women actual Roles in the plot. they even fridged another women in the Literal Exact Same Way they did in infinity war! the exact same way! like the 1st time they did it was unnecessary and unjustifiable to me and then they really went and did it again exactly the same! ALRIGHT! COOL I GUESS!

also captain marvel was so hyped up as being the Key to defeating thanos but the film comes out and i dont think she’s even in it for like 5 minutes total screentime. i mean i wont lie. seeing her fight thanos no problem was really really cool and i loved it but then it lasted what? 10 seconds? 

idk it’s just. rly rly easy to give superficial nods to the strength of these women and while, yes, it bothers whiny man babies and isnt harmful... it’s still superficial <:/ like these are just tiny itty bitty baby steps. it’s 2019 please allow female characters to play larger more significant roles in stories..... alluding to their strength is not the same thing as that. hire female writers.

overall i didnt have a Bad Time watching this movie? i actually laughed plenty. all the scenes with scott are wonderful. but overall the movie was just... fine... and left me feeling empty and indifferent like a lot of other mcu films leave me feeling <:) despite it’s faults i enjoyed iw a lot better and so endgame felt anticlimactic to me which is yknow. bad. considering it’s supposed to be a big finale.

sorry to be a big ol No Fun Allowed boy but i mean. the thing that i find so attractive about these films is Character! like ive only rly enjoyed a handful of mcu films but the reason i keep coming to watch the new ones is bc the idea of these characters is so attractive to me! this expansive superhero universe gives a big opportunity to explore a whole bunch of different characters and a whole bunch of different character dynamics. and while for the most part the mcu is good at producing distinct, conceptually interesting characters.... theyre generally not very good at utilizing them and building them up... which is why they leave me feeling empty

[honeylikewords]

I am freaking out over all the Marvel news out of Comic Con. You?

Honestly, when I first got this ask, I was going to answer “no” because I legitimately hadn’t heard anything from Marvel at all. All I knew was that we were in for a bunch of Disney+ shows like Loki, which I wasn’t interested in, and Falcon and Winter Soldier, which I am interested in but concerned about.

But then I did a quick Google, and saw that there’s plenty of other stuff to be excited about, so here’s a listicle-style breakdown of what I am and am not excited for, as was released in the press junkets regarding the SDCC Marvel Hall H panel.

1. Black Widow: Nope, not interested. Way, way back in 2012, I might have cared, given that Natasha was LITERALLY THE ONLY WOMAN in the MCU with any agency or hero role, but now that we have significantly more women, significantly more interesting women, and women of color (who aren’t played by white women stealing roles from actual WOC lmao), I think we don’t really... need a Black Widow movie. I mean, cool that David Harbour will be in it, but, uh... yeah, count me out of that one.

2. Falcon and Winter Soldier: Yeah, I’m excited for this one! Anthony Mackie and Sebastian Stan have a lot of fun chemistry, and I hope the series plays up the fun buddy-cop aspect of their relationship rather than “doom and gloom, Steve is gone, boohoo” stuff. They deserve to be heroes in their own rights and to not live in Steve’s shadow. Also, I’m not hugely into Bucky Barnes (I kinda find him boring, sorry) so I hope the series will, at least a little, start to endear me more to him. But I am very excited to see Sam getting more screentime!

3. Eternals: Eh, can’t really say. I don’t know enough about the original Eternals, nor do I have any information about who the new Eternals will be to weigh in. Ask me again when we’re closer to the release date.

4. Shang-Chi And The Legend Of The Ten Rings: Honestly, some warning flags are popping up for me on this one. Much as I want more POC led MCU films (and just, fucking, like, any films in general), Marvel comics has a pernicious history surrounding Asian fetishism and mysticism. I’ve talked about it before with my hatred for Iron Fist, and the problems Marvel had during the big “Asian Craze” of the 60s and 70s, but I really do worry about re-adapting works based in and rooted in the comics made during those times. I don’t know enough about Shang-Chi’s origins to weigh in just yet, but I am on high-alert about how this could go wrong. Hopefully, though, with actual Asian and POC actors involved in the project, it will be done tastefully and respectfully. Hopefully.

5. WandaVision: Nah. I never liked either character to begin with so I’m not really gonna waste my brainspace on some TV show about a random white girl and her toaster boyfriend. I know that sounds mean but I have a lot of pent up anger about how the MCU depicted the Maximoffs, given that the Maximoffs were originally Jewish and survivors of the Hol*caust, but then somehow the MCU decided to make them not only white, but white people working with a literal N*zi organization. So I have beef with that, and I just... don’t care about Wanda or Vision. They haven’t been with us long enough for any of us to really, you know, see them have arcs or be meaningful people. They’re just kinda there. So no thanks. Maybe if the show turns out to be great, I’ll watch, but as it stands, I’m uninterested.

5. Doctor Strange: Multiverse Of Madness: Eh. I never saw the original Doctor Strange because of the whitewashing issues and Benedict Cumberbatch’s, shall we say, history of anti-autism comments and classist perceptions about poor and undereducated people, so I just noped out of that. But I also didn’t like Stephen Strange from what I saw in the other MCU films I have seen him in, so I don’t feel like I’m missing much. If this movie turns out to be cool (apparently, it’s going to be the MCU’s first “scary” film, whatever that means?), I might see it, but for now it’s largely off my radar.

6. Loki: Nnnnnnnnnot especially excited. As I’ve said before, I like Ragnarok Loki, and that’s about it. 2012 Loki was, no joke, literally set up as a N*zi, and y’all know how I feel about N*zis. I’m not being hyperbolic. He is literally supposed to be equitable to a N*zi. So I’m disappointed that we’ve regressed all of his character development back in time to his worst stage, and we’re going to be seeing that play out in his show. Hopefully, the directors allow Tom Hiddleston to have more fun with Loki, because holy shit does Tom have great comedic timing, and I hope we get some redemption for Loki, because as it stands, I feel sad and hurt that they just threw away everything Loki grew into being. And if you’re one of those salty “Loki is a Classy, Intelligent, Sexy Villain, And Ragnarok Made Him DUMB, Give Us Back Our King” fans, please leave me alone. He was gross and greasy and weird and Ragnarok made him funny and likable, in me humble onion. Also, Loki is canonically not straight, not cisgender, and has been pregnant with horse babies, so, uh, let’s all just chill out and have some fun.

7.  What If...?: The What If...? comics can be really confusing and fun, alternatingly. So it’ll be interesting to see how this show manifests itself to match the wild, changing, freewheeling chaos of the What If...? storylines. Let’s see what happens!

8. Hawkeye: FUCK I AM SO MAD THAT THIS ISN’T AN ANIMATED SERIES BASED ON THE HAWKEYE COMICS THAT CAME OUT RECENTLY. FUCK. I would have loved that! But instead we’re getting Ronin Hawkeye (which sounds so dumb and also question-mark-y racist?). At least we’ll be getting Kate Bishop, I guess. C’est la vie. Not a fan of the Jeremy Renner Hawkeye, tbh, so I don’t know how this show will keep my interest, but fingers crossed.

9. Thor: Love and Thunder: BUCKLE UP BOYS I FINALLY HAVE A MOVIE TO CARE ABOUT YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAW AMEN PRAISE GOD WE HAVE A GOOD MOVIE COMING YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA FEMALE THOR AAAAAAAAAAAAA GAY RIGHTS YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

FUCK! I AM SO HAPPY OH MY G O D!

10. Blade: YEE FUCKING HAW! Mahershala Ali has been in the MCU three times now (1st as Cottonmouth in Luke Cage, 2nd as Uncle Aaron in ITSV, and now as Blade!) and I’m both pleasantly surprised and a little confused, since the MCU very rarely reuses actors. Oh, well! I’m so happy to see him back and I hope Blade does him justice. I worry that the original Blade (comics and movie alike) were a little, uh, Blaxploitation-y, so I hope this update will be more thoughtful and more progressive in its depictions. But at the end of the day, this is one I’ll be watching.

11. Fantastic Four: I’m worried but hopeful. The last swings at making a Fantastic Four film have been, um, mixed to say the least. Fingers crossed for a diverse set of characters this time! Although I do think that David Harbour being in the Black Widow movie does rule him out of being The Thing, as was previously speculated. Well, anyway, here’s hoping it’s good.

12. Black Panther 2: SHIT BOI DO I DIE I AM READY YES YES YES YESSSSS 

But please for the love of GOD bring back Ryan Coogler to direct. I don’t trust this story in the hands of, well, non-black people, especially because the story of Black Panther is so intrinsically tied to the black experience. That being said, I’m ready and excited for a return to Wakanda and to see what is next in T’Challa’s saga. Also, please, more Shuri, more Nakia, more Okoye. Honestly, Black Panther brought us some of the best women in the MCU so just... bring back all the ladies. Ramonda too!

13. Guardians of the Galaxy 3: I’m a little nervous about this one re: the issues surrounding the firing of James Gunn (which is, like, such a can of worms to get into), but fingers crossed. The GOTG films are really fun and such a great break from the rest of the dull, painfully self-absorbed MCU, so I hope that the light-hearted tone and center on found family comes back. I also hear that this one will be more female-centric (focusing on Gamora, I believe?) so that’s good to hear!

14. Captain Marvel 2: I didn’t see the first one, but, hey, my lesbian friends sure are happy to have Carol back so you’ve got my approval on that one, Marvel.

15. Mutants: DOES THIS MEAN...MCU X-MEN...I’M SCARED...SOMEONE HOLD ME

16. This one technically isn’t MCU but it’s what I’m most excited for...

THE SPIDERMAN 2099 COMICS ARE COMING BACK!

I’M SO HAPPY I GET TO SEE MY BOY MIGGY AGAIN I AM SO SO SO SO HAPPY OH MY GOD I WAS SO SCARED THEY’D PERMANENTLY CANCELLED MIGGY BUT HE’S HOME I GET TO SEE HIM AGAIN I COULD JUST C R Y AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

anyway, that’s just what I’m excited for. Y’all tell me if I missed anything or if there’s other updates or news! Or tell me what you’re excited for-- I’d love to hear!

[wintersoldeer]

ok here's some totally incoherent thoughts about endgame that i just have to write down or i might explode spoilers: i loved it also actual spoilers spoilers very spoilery spoilers

1. Steve and the goddddamn mjölnir!!!!! FINALLY!!!!!! when thor, iron man and cap were like 'aw yeahhh we're gonna fight thanos' i was like what the heckie is steve even doing there, supersoldier or not he's just a human. then thor drops his hammer and i’m like oh my gods please literally crossing my fingers. then thor’s fight is not going so well and oh no he definitely needs someone to save him! i’m like ohhhhhmygooddss. and THEN IT FINALLY HAPPENS I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOR YEARS HELL YEAHHHHH

2. steve & peggy dance. yes. just yes. fucking finally. i love it. it was perfect i cried

3. clint should’ve died. (finally haha) he was my fave since before the avengers and i was so sure he was going to die back then, but then he didn’t and look what’s became of him since.......... i had a violent flashback to watching age of ultron for the first time and for the first time just hoping that my fave character (that would be clint) would just die, bc they’re screwing his character over so badly........ and most definitely it. should.  not. have. been. natasha. who. died.  that was such a bullshit i mean WHAT THE FUCK????  i mean maybe clint and natasha were the only remaining avengers that actually loved each other (?¿¿????¿¿¿?¿ tho that’s just flimsy, i’m just trying to....idek) and that’s why it had to be them on that stupid fuckin death cliff, but why did natasha have to die?? just because clint had a family (still with no actual characterization, not that i even care, or maybe i would if the movies had given me any reason to...) to return to and she didn’t??that fucking sucks and what sucks even more is that not only was natasha the only character that died (i’m not even counting tony, bc that was very Different) but she’s the only original female avenger AND it’s the same stupd fucking rock that the only original female gotg gamora died in such a bullshit way just last movie??? goddddd i hated that so much like maybe if she hadn’t been the first one to die and all the original avengers would’ve died as was i kinda hoping (tho i love happy endings so i didn’t actually hope that it would happen..), maybe then i would be okay with her being dead. now i am very much not okay, and that means very much not okay in a angry way, not in a sad way

4. speaking of death: to me tony’s was perfect. i might not be the biggest fan of how he always got the most screentime and a bigger role than other characters, but i can’t deny that he definitely is the heart of the whole mcu and it had to be him who saves the day in the end and what else could it have been that a very tony-like self-sacrifice..... god i cried. i loved that he got a funeral (even tho natasha didn’t...) and i loved his funeral with all the people and fricking harley and then the kid saying how much she likes cheeseburgers and the frickin ‘proof that tony stark has a heart’ and sfghkklkghhhh

5. i gasped audibly when i noticed that natasha was wearing the arrow necklace

6. i kinda forgot that vision ever even existed..... in the end i first thought that wanda was talking about pietro and then i was like ok well maybe not maybe she’s talking about tony or something WHICH MAKES NO SENSE LOL i don’t even remember what she actually said, but as was pointed out to me, she was probably talking about vision. who was a thing that existed... whoops

7. ugh i hate brucenat, i really thought we were over that shit already. i also very much disliked that they actually decided to go with professor hulk, but idk w/e i don’t care that much. but natasha’s death sucked tho and the one thing i do not want to see is bruce’s pain or whatever when the movie didn’t even give me the time or reason to actually grieve for her goddd that whole thing was such a bullshit

8. i did not like that thor was treated as a joke most of his screentime........

9. that stevepeggy dance tho. love it. it’ll probably take me at least another seven years to get over it

10. i fricking adored the whole going back in time thing, especially the 2012. the callbacks and the humor really worked for me, the elevator scene straight from cap2 but reversed and hail hydra and steve fighting steve and loki’s expressions when things go wrong and goddhhh i loved it all aaaaaaa, that was the moment when i was like ok i need to see this movie again immediately.... also the fact that their time travel rules were that they were just creating new paths or w/e i guess, and not actually changing what happened to them specifically... good. so many aus

11. that final battle was so perfectly epic

12. tho shouldn’t valkyrie’s (who really just doesn’t have a real name, now does she..) horse have died after being shot haha

13. i loved that clint had the gauntlet for so long, like he’s definitely the Least Qualified Person to keep it safe, why would that be his job, it was amazing

14. i hated natasha’s death with burning passion, but i loved how she and clint fought each other over who gets to throw themselves off that cliff. tho i really hoped that their ‘yeahh we know what we have to do’ would’ve rather meant that they decided to just throw red skull down bc who even knows if it even actually needs love sacrifice or w/e, a soul is a soul is a soul

15. i loved the human jarvis whatever-his-first-name-was cameo and i really need to finally watch/rewatch agent carter

16. i really liked the tony howard scene even if i thought it felt a bit iffy, bc i feel like there’s so much more to unpack w/ those daddy issues.... but maybe that scene means that there is that one universe where howard was actually a good dad. i want to believe that. yeah. (maybe not but let me dream)

17. i like how they totally forgot that sharon carter ever even existed

18. damn that moment when black panther comes through that portal

19. damn that moment when gi ant-man is giant

20. damn that final battle was so epic

21. damn that steve with mjölnir

22. this movie was SO GOOD when it was good and so mehhh when it was bad, and i’m really glad that it was just good enough that i can forgive overlook all of its flaws. (tho i will not forgive what they did to natasha, even if i can mostly ignore it when thinking about how good most of the rest of the movie was) but idk if it would’ve been perfect, maybe i wouldn’t have survived like there’s this One Huge Thing (natasha) that really brings down the movie that otherwise would’ve been just Amazing

23. i don’t know if my heart has ever beaten as fast as when steve finally picks up the hammer. never while watching a movie, at least

24. i love that carol has her short haircut, bc it bothered me so much in cpn marvel that she should not have been able to see anything when her hair was just constantly on her face haha

25. i feel nothing but seething resentment towards clint’s stupid family and that stupid family man role he is stuck with

26. why was natasha’s hair so weird and ugly. why can’t it just be red??

27. clint’s hair was weird and ugly too and i think i have finally kinda given up on mcu!clint (tho he has those small Very Good moments and i cry for what could’ve been.....we could’ve have it aaaaaalllll.... i think i’m going to watch swat (2003) again and still pretend it’s the clint backstory movie i deserve haha, it’s been ages since i’ve seen it idk if it would still work for me, i’m gonna try)

28. i love nebula tho

29. i loved the trip down memory lane! frigga!!!! the way the continuation of the avengers capturing loki just felt so natural and like it probably happened just like that! nebula and rhodey judging quill’s singing and dancing haha yes! everything! just as i was hoping it would be!

30. doesn’t really have anything to do with this movie but: i still firmly believe that coulson never died. i still firmly believe that pietro never died. 

31. falcon cap helll yeah!!

32. i guess i’ll never get my strike team delta movie with clintasha best friends soulmates and with buckynat and the red room.........  goddd there really should’ve been a black widow movie after cap2. like that was The Perfect Spot for a black widow movie, it’s really a crime that there isn’t one, and even if they make a black widow movie now, it’ll definitely be too little too late.

33. like..... a for effort..... for that female heroes girl power.... ughhhh.... scene, i guess, but that. does. not. cut. it. when you have just killed natasha

34. things i really wished they would say in some perfect moments: “hail hydra” “avengers assemble!” “i am iron man”. things they did say in those moments: “hail hydra” “avengers assemble” “i am iron man”, gogssgddd that was perfect (ok i also really did wish steve would’ve said the “i could do this all day” in the fight but couldn’t say bc the movie had just made fun of that.. i’m kinda sad but haha it’s not that big of a deal, maybe if he hadnt said it in civil war which i dont like but well...)

35. haha people are already complaining about the steve going back thing and how it’s definitely not moving on and erasing character development or whatever and HA. i finally got my stevepeggy dance i don’t care about anything else i am so happy!!!!!

36. i am so glad i managed to avoid any spoilers bc i hear that there was some pretty massive ones going around??¿?¿?

37. also: ok from here on out i am not here for any of you negative nancys complaining (probably very reasonable complaints idec) about the movie, god i really wish it was 2012 again

38. in final thoughts: i absolutely loved it and i love that it turns out that i’m apparently still very much marvel trash........ if natasha hadn’t died, especially in such a bullshit way, i would’ve been able to overlook everything else that was kinda meh about the movie and just purely and blindly loved it. i still did love it, a lot, but now there’s that bitter aftertaste.....

ok now, maybe that’s enough rambling and repeating myself....... i’m going to need to see it again asap

//EDIT

39. I FORGOT TO MENTION IT BC I FORGOT ABOUT IT but goooooooooodddd i loved nebula and tony playing that game in the beginning and tony letting nebula win ääääää

[pepperony3000-archive]

Favourite avengers movies scenes?

So I’m not sure if you mean The Avengers movies proper, or MCU movies in general... so I’ll answer both. ;)

Fav Avengers scenes (in no particular order):

1) Natasha’s first scene in the first Avengers movie. I know everybody on this hellsite hates her now but like... that scene is just brilliant! It shows just how easily Natasha can play people around her, and she’s not afraid to put herself at genuine risk in order to manipulate people. It’s why she’s the master manipulator. She will let herself get captured and beaten up in order to get what she wants from her target just as easily as she’ll let herself don a fancy dress in order to get what she wants from her target.

2) The science bro “saved [my life] for what exactly” “I guess we’ll find out” scene in the first Avengers movie. It’s such a good scene, and really showcases why I love this dynamic so much. Tony acknowledges that Bruce finds himself trapped... there’s something inside of him that he just can’t control. And Tony doesn’t dismiss it. One might almost expect him to be dismissive of Bruce since he earlier so flagrantly pointed out how much he liked Hulk. In the Banner vs Hulk argument going on inside Bruce, he’d already allied himself with Hulk.Except in this moment, he also allied himself 100% with Banner. He tells Bruce that Hulk is only a “monster”, because he just hasn’t learned how to 100% control it... and points out that it’s Bruce’s life that was important enough to save and protect. I just love it.

3) Tony: “Please be a secret door please be a secret doorWall: *is a secret door*Tony: “Yay!”

4) Thor showing up in Wakanda in Infinity War. I cheered. I screamed. I celebrated. It was amazing

5) Gamora’s death and Peter Parker’s death (yes I know I’m cheating and doing a two-in-one here). I was never really a huge fan of Gamora... although she and Nebula are the only GOTG characters I even came close to really liking. But she was written so perfectly in Infinity War, I genuinely loved her death scene and it’s one of my favorites.And... I don’t think I need to tell y’all why I love this one, do I?

6) Steve’s... Wanda-vision I guess? Which honestly? I think it was the moment that I am going to believe started him in such a negative downward spiral that he became... not a character I could like.He comes face to face with the world he knew, with the woman he loved and lost, with the reality that... who he was and what he used to dream about could never happen. I think that scene is why he couldn’t really bring himself to sign the accords. When Tony appealed to his nostalgia he almost gave in, but I think he was just looking for an excuse not to.Because for him... the Avengers was the only compensation he had for losing everything. And he was afraid that if they were operating under the jurisdiction of someone or something else, it would not be what he needed it to be anymore.

Fav MCU-in-general/non-Avengers scenes (also in no particular order):

1) Tony Stark building the Iron Man suit in a cave!!! With a box of scraps!!! What’s not to love about these scenes? RDJ looking hot af with his bulging muscles, the cinematography being absolutely GORGEOUS, the music being perfect, the tension being palpable, and the joy and exuberance when he’s finished exhilarating. (Bonus points for how devastatingly sad their escape ended up being... rip Yinsen)

2) Pepperony dancing in Iron Man 1. MY GOD the sexual tension! There is a reason this ship is such an OTP it practically transcends even the word shipping! These two are perfect in literally every way and I will fight you on that.

3) Tony Stark building a new element in Iron Man 2. It’s like version 2.0 of him building the Mk 1: Bulging muscles? Check! Amazing cinematography? Check! Music? Spot on perfect. Tension? Well... slightly less palpable, but they’ve literally been buillding up that Tony’s dying this whole movie and he finally actually has a chance to save his own life! Exuberance upon completion? Check!The only annoying thing is when Coulson interrupts the montage to be intolerable...

4) Peggy Carter, Steve Rogers, and Howard Stark “do you... fondue” scene. My GOD it was amazing. My son Steve Rogers when he was still my second favorite character in the entire MCU being amazing and awkward, Howard being oblivious to how much he’s just exuding pure flirtatiousness here (haha that’s a lie, he knows exactly what he’s doing to poor Steve), and Peggy WTFing at her idiot guys. I love it.

5) Steggy’s first and last kiss. It’s fine. I’m fine. I don’t need happiness or anything. It’s not like they were perfect together and going to the future ended up just ruining Steve’s personality. It’s not like they deserved to be happy together. (Bonus points to their final conversation. THEY DESERVED THAT DANCE DAMMIT!!! I will never forgive the Russo’s for not making the scene where Steve visits old!Peggy longer and have it end with him gently picking her up in his arms and sway-dancing with her. THEY DESERVED IT!!! WE DESERVED IT!!!)

6) The entirety of Iron Man 3. I’m sorry but I cannot pick out one single scene from that movie that’s my favorite. That movie is massively underrated, simply because comic nerds were annoyed that it wasn’t predictable like literally every other movie has been (and were annoyed by the narrative basically telling them to stop being racist little fucks).Bonus: the Iron Man 3 post credits scene. For some reason people have sorta been hating on Bruce for that scene lately. I genuinely don’t get why! Like... that scene wasn’t about Bruce not caring about Tony! That scene was about how Bruce cares about and is so comfortable around Tony that he can relax around him. He can fall asleep around him. And Tony? Tony didn’t actually care. If he did he wouldn’t have immediately started another story about his “original trauma” immediately after their little snark fest.

7) Scott being toddler-sized in Ant-Man and the Wasp. That was just pure hilarity through and through. I loved every second of it.

8) JANET VAN DYNE!!! I’m sorry, but Jan is my literal favorite. Tony is (obviously) my favorite MCU character, but if I’m being perfectly honest with myself he’s probably my second favorite Marvel character... second only to Jan. She is amazing and badass and perfect and the fact that MICHELLE ACTUAL-GODDESS PFIEFFER PLAYS HER somehow makes her even better. Can the third movie in the Bug Trilogy be all about her? I just need more Jan. I don’t care if it’s a movie about Jan and Hank, or a movie about Jan and Scott, or a movie about Jan and Hope. I just want as much Jan as physically possible. I know that that isn’t a scene that’s a character but... I’M SORRY IF A SCENE HAS JAN IN IT IT’S AUTOMATICALLY ONE OF THE TOP BEST SCENES IN ANY MOVIE EVER I’M SORRY I DON’T MAKE THE RULES.

9) Basically any scene with Okoye. Honestly, Danai Gurira surprised the FUCK outta me with her talent. All I knew was that she was in The Walking Dead (which I’ve admittedly not scene) and so dismissed her as probably not being super talented because... well have you heard the reputation that show has gotten?Anyway... her performance continually impresses me, and she’s absolutely amazing! But my favorite scene specifically was the scene... I think it was between Nakia and Okoye (I’ve only watched that movie once... I KNOW I’M AWFUL) after T’Challa dies and Okoye basically says she can’t go against Erik because she is loyal to the THRONE of Wakanda, even if her heart is loyal to other people.

And I was GOING to do top 5 Avengers moments and top 10 non Avengers moments, but since I did 6 Avengers moments (plus a cheat), I’ll stop at 9 for non-Avengers moments.

And hey... while we’re at it:

Send me asks about anything you want my opinion on

[g0dtier]

infinity war spoilers

n my thoughts

that was a ride for sure

im really glad marvel got braver when it comes to killing off characters. imo GotG2 sucked ass (i genuinely hate that movie lmao) and thor:ragnarok was good but i feel like theyre starting to lay on the Funny Man(TM) act a little TOO much so this was a welcome change

im eternally glad they killed off loki. i dont like tom hiddleston or loki and i never have im sorry. i thought he was cool in ragnarok but thor 2 was just all around bad imo and lokis shit got old hella quick. also it immediately showed they were serious

peter was def my fav char in this entire movie. ive been waiting for an eternity for ANYONE to make spiderman more spiderlike and his new suit was just delicious for the aesthetic geek in me. hes also one of the few characters whose humor never starts to annoy me. with the GotG, the 2nd film was such a turn-off for me that every time they had another thickly laid on joke they shoved into your face i just couldnt laugh about it. the only GotG jokes i laughed about were drax’s “ive been standing here an hour” scene and his “WHY IS GAMORA” thing

speaking of Gamora, im so glad they finally let her actress....act lmao. she wasnt remarkable to me at all in the first 2 movies bc it always seemed like she wasnt allowed to show ANY emotion at all, but the crying for thanos scene was cool. i kinda wish she’d showed as much emotion when thanos threw her down a fucking cliff but alas

i disliked the constant dick measuring contest between characters. quill and thor, strange and stark, some of the useless banter was placed at moments that just seemed completely unlogical to me. like ok thor you literally just watched your brother die and lost the only person you had left but you DO have the emotional capacity left to have a bitch-off with quill? :/

Wakanda was an always will be amazing and i have literally no complaints 100% approve of anything and everything t’challa and crew will ever do. 

woulda liked a bit more emotion (doesnt matter what kind but at least EMOTION) between bruce and natasha bc everyone should know that i stan their relationship and i hate the constant turn-arounds natasha’s char goes through. doesnt matter who writes her, one movie shes opening up to people and the next she’ll be an emotionless ass again. also pissed abt the little amount of screentime tasha got in general

Wanda and vision were surprisingly cute but i wouldve preferred a little less heavy drama-like shit to show us they were together. i wouldve preferred to have a short scene of them sitting in their underwear together watching a movie and joking about it or w/e instead of the whole....”are we together or arent we” thing they did

i loved basically everything else tho. nebula’s torture scene actually scared me a bit, thanos really wasnt a bad villain like i thought he was gonna be. i really thought he was just gonna be another “wuh wuh world dominashun” type of guy but his motivations are surprisingly deep and his character was unhinged in a really balanced way. like he is grounded and psycho at the same time.

also wasnt as annoyed by bucky as i was in previous films, turns out not having steve give up literally all his values and friends in order to save him makes him a much more likeable character and the whole “steve?” death scene felt a lot less forced that way, to me at least. i much prefer it when a movie isnt constantly shoving in my face how much steve loses his goddamn mind whenever bucky is in the picture

the iron man/spiderman scene fucking killed me, as did all the other death scenes. also iron man was a lot more likeable in this film than in previous ones, you can really see some character growth. or maybe hes just tired idk. being the passivist understanding dude for once instead of a condescending douchebag is good

the scene where wanda has to kill vision was really cool to me, bc i never cared much about either before but the acting made it so that i actually felt really bad for them even tho the whole time stone thing was so obvious. visions empty robot body was cool

also the fighting scenes were fucking AMAZING. i love how wanda finally became a really good fighter and how shes a lot more agile and dynamic now. thors new axe is cool. Caps beard looks good and his entrance scene was amazing. the strange+spiderman portals “MAGIC WITH A KICK” thing was hardcore. tony’s nanotech was hardcore. bruce finally fighting for himself and using his wits while in the iron man suit was awesome. the wanda+tasha+okoye fighting scene was so cool too!

honestly tho my gripes arent really anything to write home about and are more like nitpicks because i lovedddd the movie. the only BIG gripe i have is that i knoooow theyre all gonna come back. it wouldve been a lot more believable to me if cap/tony/idk the original avengers crew died because theyve all had a bunch of screentime and them killing off peter parker and t’challa just shows theyre gonna come back bc no way marvel is not making them like 3 sequels each at LEAST

i also liked how much the after-credits scene was just another slap in the face. i know many people wanted it to be a “dont worry its gonna be alright!!! saviors are coming” moment but seeing hill and fury die gave me a weird sense of “hell fucking yea” because it shows they were trying to be serious about the “shit is fucked” thing

also im sad they showed the ant man + wasp trailer before the movie because it really lessened the blow of the deaths lmao

[hellyeahheroes]

Shuri is in this trailer for a second or so (0:50) so hell with it, let’s talk about OH MY GOD THE HYPE: The Movie.

You know... I think it’s telling that the parts of the movie I feel excited about seem to be all concerning battle for Wakanda and I’m sure quite few people ( @fandomshatepeopleofcolor for example) will be happy it seems that both Falcon and War Machine are participating in it alongside T’Challa and Dora Miraje. Even if it is a battle against a generic bunch of Xenokcockoffs, which feels like a step down from the colorful, bright and cool-looking final battle of Black Panther.

The rest? Eeeeeh. I mean, aside from that scene where Ebony Maw turns Benedict Cumberbatch into a needle pillow I cannot muster to care. RDJ looks so fucking DONE it won’t surprise me if Tony dies. While the rest of the GotG crew looks serious, Star-Lord has one sentence and he is so annoying I wanted to punch him in the face. Scarlet Witch and Vision seem disjointed from the rest of the movie, Thor is there, Black Order exist - just a bunch of scenes saying “hey, these guys are in the movie” that makes me wonder HOW do they cram so many characters into one production. I mean, I have same wonders about Shuri, she has a small scene here that is to....hold the hologram of Vision’s head But at least she is in Wakanda, it makes sense for her to be there. And hell, it shows how popular she is if they gave her a scene in this trailer. Spider-Man’s jokes don’t land and the fact they seem to be building him and Strange as headliners of next phase of MCU/heirs to Tony’s mantle of MCU’s leading face (when let’s be honest, it should be Black “1 Billion Dollars in Box Office” Panther) irritates me.

Thanos is the hype, but then again he is the fucking hype machine this movie’s marketing stands on, after all those years of build-up. He does that “imposing evil guy” thing remarkably well and enough for the mainstream audience, but...I mean, I will probably enjoying seeing him wrecking Tony’s shit and possibly having MCU version of that one classic scene with Steve Rogers, but.... I don’t know if they will land any of that “depth” they promised for him. On the other hand, they hype it up as his movie more than they hype  “all your favorite heroes* join together!” aspect. 

BTW, it kinda makes me wonder if DC’s recent announcement of New Gods directed by Ava DuVernay isn’t the result of somebody realizing they only really have one guy who can counterbalance Thanos’ hype train and that’s Darkseid. Which...Guys, I haven’t seen a Wrinkle In Time but I know right-wing media outlets are trying to paint DuVernay as anti-white racist in a way that betrays how much they believe their audience to be a bunch of gullible idiots, so what I’m gonna say is in no way aimed against her, but...I don’t think New Gods will be a good movie if they set it up to be a counter for this. I mean, look at what Warner/DC and FOX are doing - they pick up one of their upcoming movies and declare “this will be the one that defeats MCU”. And then they keep messing with this movie until it’s broken. Happened with Suicide Squad, with several “main” X-Men movies, with Justice League and now seems to be happening with Deadpool 2 and New Mutants. Meanwhile the movies they don’t believe in or treat as side-projects to the “main” movie, Wonder Woman, Deadpool, Logan, are the ones that succeed and possibly the ones that paved the way for MCU to finally starting to evolve, be it with giving Thor 3 some actual themes to talk about or with Black Panther smashing genres and formulas fans got used to. I don’t think New Gods will be such a movie to challenge MCU. I think DuVernay is capable of making it if she will be left alone, but I have zero faith Warner won’t screw it over while desperately trying to win dick-measuring contest with Disney.

* - Ant-Man not included :P

- Admin

[tahlreth]

How about ♠ with Starkquill? Please and thank you.

AN: This was so much fun! I’ve never written Peter Quill before, and honestly this prompt got me to finally watch GOTG. I’ve had it forever, but had never sat down and watched it. D: Terrible of me, I know. But I watched it to write this and OMG. I LOVED IT. Obviously I still have not seen the second movie, so uh... there’s probably wrong stuff in here? But I tried?

Also, this fic turned into a beast, and I maybe didn’t focus on the prompt enough. D: But I hope you like it anyway, @silver-twilight​!

Beware of the ‘Read More’ thingy.

Peter had noticed Tony’s anxiety almost as soon as they’d met. It maybe wasn’t obvious to the unitiated , but Peter could recognize it easily. There wasn’t a person (or alien or experiment gone AWESOME) in his crew that wasn’t damaged or scarred in some way. They all had moments of panic, times when fear and regret took hold of them hard enough to reduce them to a pile of tears and the shakes. Peter’d had panic attacks before, and regularly found himself coaching his teammates - especially Drax and (strangely enough) Rocket - through their own. And while Tony wasn’t in a full-blown panic when they’d been introduced, Peter could see the warning signs.

He also noticed the way Tony’s eyes kept darting over to a stern faced man holding a brightly colored shield and the people standing behind him, a few looking actively hostile. Okaaaay… so there was probably some bad blood there. Like, maybe sorta like what had existed between him and Yondu. Because Tony was willing to stand with the group (the Vengeance Group or Renegades or something? he’d stopped trying to keep track of every team’s name) in the face of disaster, but it didn’t look like there was a whole lotta love lost between them. He could be wrong and regularly was, but he just got this sense that Tony was desperately looking for the blond leader’s approval even as he wanted that whole group as far away from him as possible.

Man, could he ever relate.

So instead of going on with the introductions, Peter stepped away from his own team, ignoring Gamora’s knowing groan and the way Rocket got his gun ready, and reached out to grab Tony’s hand. “Hey, I’m Peter Quill, better known as Star-Lord in the best, coolest parts of the galaxy. I was part scavenger, part mercenary and part thief before I became a hero - still am all those things sometimes. So I’m gonna steal you now, okay?” He waited just long enough to see Tony’s eyes go wide, but not long enough for anyone to protest. Laughing merrily at the start of this new adventure, Peter turned and pulled Tony after him, going through the members of his team - the team that would form a wall between them and any pursuers. He just hoped the Earth teams wouldn’t turn things violent, because they really kinda needed everyone alive to fight Thanos and his team wasn’t very good at holding back.

The way Tony was running behind him instead of trying to pull away or slow him down was telling. Peter was pretty sure he’d made the right call, especially when they rounded a corner and Tony started to laugh. Pride, warm and bright, took shape in his chest - part of him would always love making people smile. He was allowed to be in the lead all the way down that hallway, until another turn of a corner led them to an intersection. Peter came to a brief halt, furrowing his brow as he tried to make a decision. Just as he was about to do ‘eeny meeny miney moe’, Tony tugged on his hand and started down the right-hand branch. With Peter following instead of 'stealing’, their progress was quick without going into an all-out run again. He lost track of the turns Tony took and the stairways they used; he had the distinct impression that Tony was backtracking and going through hallways and stairwells they didn’t need to. Peter just wished he knew if it was to throw off pursuit or if Tony didn’t want him to be able to get to… wherever they were going alone.

Eventually they came to a halt, stopping in front of what looked like a flat, bare wall. After a few seconds where Tony did nothing but stare, hand starting to go clammy, Peter broke the silence. “I like it.” he announced, gesturing to the wall with their entwined hands. “Nice and sparse. I mean, I like a little more decoration myself usually, but… this is good too. You got nice walls, Tony. The Zry'Khul would love 'em.”

Tony, who’d startled when Peter first spoke, looked over at him. Though he was trying to look curious, his glazed eyes and quick, shallow breathing gave him away. “The what?”

“Zry'Khul. Nice people - weird hands though. Like… like crab-claws mixed with hooves, which is as weird as it sounds let me tell you. They don’t like a lot of decoration. I think it’s 'cause they can’t lift a lot of things - their dexterity is crap. So yeah. They’d like this very nice wall you’re showing to me.”

“Oh. Right.” Tony really didn’t look so hot; now that the adrenaline of their escape was fading, Peter’s attempt at distraction clearly wasn’t enough. There was sweat at his temples, and his breath was continuing to speed up. “I brought you here.  It’s not-”

“Hey, you know what?” Peter let go of the man’s hand and held his hands up in a non-threatening gesture. “I just wanted to get you away, and it let me escape too. I hate long, boring introductions. If you need to do… whatever is probably behind there without me, that’s totally cool. I can just go away and not tell anyone about this really nice wall or give any hints about where you are. Or… if you want, I can go in there with you. Gamora hates letting anyone see her when she’s having a hard time, so if you don’t either, I get it. Drax likes me to be quiet and keep a hand on his shoulder, and Rocket doesn’t want to be touched, but needs me to talk at him. Groot… I don’t really know about Groot. That’s Rocket’s territory.” Tony was staring at him, so he gave the man a lopsided smile. “I do best when somebody touches me and lets me listen to my music. It’s soothing for the soul - keeps me from going to a real bad place in my head, you know?”

“I… guess?”

“I’m just… I just want you to know that whatever you need, it’s cool. Just let me know, okay?”

“I’m fine.” Tony told him defensively, eyes narrowing as he made an obvious effort to control his breathing. But he was still sweating, and it took only a heart beat before his eyes started to dart around the hallway again, showing way too much white.

“'Course you are.” Peter agreed amiably. “You’re fine until you tell me otherwise. Now do you want me to stay or should I head back to the absolute mess of suck I probably left behind me?” Tony’s lips twitched just a little, which Peter was pretty sure was a victory for him.

“… you can stay. Just don’t-” Tony paused, looking nervous, defiant and needy all at the same time. “They don’t know about this room. None of them. So don’t… if you could not…”

“Dude - your secret dies with me. Really far away too - probably in a whole other star system. So your secret’s gonna be pretty secure.”

Tony gave the smallest of nods, then bit his lower lip. “Fri? Open it up please.”

“Yes Boss.” The fuck-ton of weirder shit he’d seen that kept Peter from jumping at the sound of the disembodied voice. As soon as the lady-voice spoke, he heard the sound of gears whirring and parts moving. Before his eyes, the whole wall in front of them slid back a few inches, then retracted to the right enough to create a doorway. A low whistle left his lips, because he was impressed. Sure he’d guessed there was something behind the wall, but it was only because Tony had purposefully brought them there.  If it wasn’t for that, he probably wouldn’t have noticed; the design was seamless, designed to make the eye turn away because it was just as bland as the rest of the walls around them.

When Tony grabbed his hand, the move was hesitant and the guy began to pull back almost immediately. Peter figured he was just afraid that the gesture would be rebuffed, so he quickly wrapped his fingers around Tony’s and gave a squeeze. “After you,” he told the other man gallantly before grinning. “I learned when I was just a kid to never go through a door first - never know who’s waiting inside to eat you.” Again, his humor didn’t seem to help Tony escape the panic he was experiencing… but it didn’t make his face go any more pinched either. Wouldn’t hurt to keep trying until the guy told him to knock it off.

Once they were through that little door, the wall closed behind them and a soft light filled the space. It wasn’t nearly as bare and boring as the wall that hid it. Peter could tell that Tony coped by tinkering, by creating, by doing. There were two workbenches on opposite sides of the sizable room. One had a chair and was full of finicky tech things that were laughably out of date even to Peter’s inexperienced eyes - though by Earth standards, it was all probably ahead of its time. The other workbench was larger but had no chair; it was clearly where Tony did some heavier lifting. He could make out a soldering iron lying amid bits of half-assembled creations. Peter wondered how many of them were ever actually finished, and how many designs were left behind once Tony was okay again.

Tony seemed reluctant to let go of Peter’s hand, leading him all the way to the first workbench. In fact, he slowed just enough that his side was pressed against Peter’s, and he could tell the man he’d stolen was someone who liked touch when he was having a hard time. Touch-starved even, maybe, if he always ran here to handle his issues and no one even knew about the place. The man came to a stop beside the chair, blinking several times. “I don’t have another one,” he said almost stupidly, eyes a bit glazed again. “I forgot-”

“It’s no problem. I don’t mind the floor - after the Kyln, everything else is comfortable, believe me. Or I can sit in the chair and you can sit on top of me. Bet I’m comfier anyway.” Tony shook his head immediately, so Peter held up his free hand again. “Just a suggestion. What you say goes.” Letting go of the man’s hand, he dropped to the floor and sat cross-legged, shifting until the bottom of his coat was fanned out around him and not pulling anymore. “This is totally good too. Do you need me to be quiet to work?”

It was an out - Tony knew it too, from the relief on his face. Whether he said 'yes’ or 'no’, it wasn’t about helping him calm down - it was about what he needed in order to work. Tony was 'fine’ with very heavy quotation marks, so Peter was sure he’d need the excuse.

“You can talk. Might not answer though. I’ve got… I have a lot of work to do.”

“Got it. Sometimes I talk to a tiny tree that just goes 'I am Groot’ over and over - even non-answers are music to my ears.” Tony watched him for a minute, like he was waiting for Peter to go 'gotcha’ and reveal how this had all been a trick. Peter just kept his most disarming smile on his face until Tony finally eased into his chair. Once he was sitting, it was like it sent a signal through his body and brain - he hunched over and hid his face in his hands, entire body beginning to tremble like a swarm of Slinrhs in a strong breeze. His breathing got harsher and quicker, and he was mumbling to himself though Peter couldn’t make out the words. He wanted to help… but Tony was 'fine’. So Peter waited for a little while, letting Tony have his moment… until he began to worry that Tony was going to start hyperventilating.

“So the floor is fine, but my back is killing me.” Peter offered conversationally, like Tony wasn’t having a panic attack a foot away from him. “Mind if I lean on you for a bit?” Tony stopped abruptly, going completely still and silent; Peter bit his tongue to keep from cursing himself. Still, he stayed quiet and waited, not wanting to take back the offer if Tony wanted it or make it seem like Peter had noticed Tony’s distress.

“Yeah. That’d fine. I need… I’m going to be working on some designs for a bit.” His every word was carefully measured and precisely spoken; Peter was sure it was taking the man everything he had not to fall apart. “You can… it’s fine.” Tony pushed away from the desk a little, and the chair squeaked when he turned to face Peter. “Gimme a blueprint, Fri.”

“Which one Boss?”

“Doesn’t matter,” Tony answered quickly, tersely. The lady-voice didn’t seem offended though, because a holograph sprung to life between Tony’s hands. The guy was definitely light-years ahead of the rest of Earth’s tech, which was awesome and impressive. He took it in, then made a point of messing with a few of the lines before glancing at Peter. “You can lean, if you want. I can work above you.” Again with the very careful words, expression striving for one of nonchalance and only projecting anxiety.

“Great!” Peter scooted close and turned away from Tony, then leaned back against the man’s legs. For a second he could feel Tony’s tension… and then he seemed to let some of it go as he also let out a long breath. He was still shaking though, and when Peter peeked up at him again, he could tell Tony’s breath still hadn’t slowed to its normal pace, and he was still sweating more than he should be. Tony had said he didn’t mind if Peter talked… so he launched into a tale about the time Gamora had been accidentally engaged to a Krylorian, and he only had to embellish a little. It took that story and half of another before Tony seemed to have calmed completely. He started talking back, and brushed his hands over Peter’s shoulders or hair when he did.

Neither one of them mentioned that Tony hadn’t done a thing more with the design he’d had his lady-voice project.

~.~.~

The next time Tony brought Peter to his panic room (ha, the term was even more literal than usual), there was a second chair. He didn’t comment when Peter sat in it, but his jaw did go tight. At first, he didn’t think much of it… but four stories in - most of them amazingly entertaining if he did say so himself - Tony still hadn’t seemed soothed in the slightest. So since Tony was still 'fine’, Peter casually mentioned that the chair wasn’t very comfortable and slid to the floor; Tony instantly turned his chair so Peter could lean against his legs. Almost as soon as he started talking again, Tony started to breathe easier.

The chair disappeared, and a cushion for Peter to sit on turned up in its place.

~.~.~

The first time Tony admitted he wasn’t 'fine’, his panic attack had started in the presence of the group as a whole. They’d been talking strategy and tactics against Thanos, and FRIDAY put up a very realistic projection of space as Peter and the rest of the Guardians talked about the way Thanos was likely to approach and what they and some of Tony’s unmanned suits might be able to slow him down. Busy discussing tactics with Captain America (who was okay, even if he and Tony seemed to have a lot of trouble communicating), he didn’t see the signs until it was too late. Even then, it was Rocket who suddenly jabbed him the ribs to get his attention, then directed it to Tony. Tony, who hadn’t spoken in five minutes - a long time for him. Tony, who was gripping the edge of the metal table so hard that it had dug into his skin - Peter could see drops of blood starting to drip down his palm. Tony, who was staring at the projection with wide eyes, pupils pinpricks - whatever he was seeing, it wasn’t in the room with the rest of them.

Now that Peter was looking at him, the attention of everyone else shifted to Tony as well. Maybe feeling the weight of their stares, the man came back to himself… only to start gasping for breath, face going pale as he cringed back in his chair. He had his left hand clasped over his heart, with the right holding his left arm; he must feel like he was having a hear attack. Tony wouldn’t answer when anyone spoke his name and didn’t react to touch either… not until Rhodey grasped his shoulder. The reaction was instant and violent - Tony turned and took a swing at the man Peter knew to be his best friend. He missed and fell to the floor in the process; once there he scooted until he had his back to the wall. Knees at his chest, arms wrapped around them so he could hide from the world, Tony continued to try and catch his breath, shivering and shaking terribly.

“Shit, I forgot - Tony I forgot, I’m…” Rhodey sounded distressed, but Tony wouldn’t allow him to approach… maybe because he was trying to talk to Tony from above him.

Peter slipped to the floor, then walked on his knees to Tony. “My back hurts.” he offered with no explanation to the rest of the room, most of who were watching with horrified fascination. Peter had a feeling Tony had hidden these attacks from all but a few of his team members, past and present. Turning around, Peter plopped down onto his bottom, then leaned back against Tony’s legs like they were in that hidden room. Tony shifted just enough to accommodate him, then buried his face in Peter’s shoulder. To help him calm down and shift the attention of the group, Peter regaled them all with the time Yondu had let Peter believe for weeks that they were fattening him up so that when they ate him the whole crew of Ravagers would get more than a mouthful.

Once it was over and Tony had stopped shaking, Peter stood and offered him a hand up. Tony took it and they left without a word. When Peter looked over his shoulder, he saw his team staring after them with understanding and empathy on their faces. Rhodes looked thankful, giving him a small nod when their eyes locked, and Captain America looked worried and made an aborted step after them. The door slid shut behind them, and they started toward Tony’s special, secret room. When Tony’s knees failed him halfway through the walk and he started to say 'I’m having a heart attack’ over and over, Peter scooped the man into his arms and jogged the rest of the way to that blank wall. FRIDAY opened it without needing to be told, and Peter smiled just a little. “Thanks lady-voice.”

“Of course, Star-Lord Quill.”

Instead of putting Tony in his chair, Peter brought the man down to the floor with him, settling them on the cushion. He kept holding Tony, though he shifted so that Tony’s back was to his chest and he could put his face in Tony’s shoulder like the man had done to him. He pressed one hand against Tony’s chest, over his racing heart, using it as another way to both comfort Tony and monitor the attack. This time when he started to talk, it was in a soft, soothing voice. He told Tony about the moments of quiet wonder he’d experienced on his travels, the things he’d seen that had awed him in a way most humans would never experience. Peter talked about all the beauty he’d found in his travel across the galaxy, though he did his best not to talk about space itself. He talked himself hoarse before Tony finally settled and his heartbeat returned to normal. Peter expected him to pull away and go pretend to work… but he didn’t.

Tony half-turned in his arms to tuck his head under Peter’s chin, then let out a shaky breath. “I’m not fine, Quill.”

“I know.”

“I can’t remember the last time I was.”

“I know, Tony.” He reached up with one hand to gently wipe away the man’s tears with his thumb, but didn’t otherwise draw attention to them. “It’s okay not to be fine sometimes. And it’s okay to tell people you aren’t.” Tony’s laugh was self-deprecating and miserable.

“I don’t think I’ll have to. They couldn’t have missed it after that shit-show.”

“They won’t think any less of you.”

“Wrong.”

“Well then I don’t think any less of you. I’d be totally cool with you letting me know when 'not fine’ turns to 'really bad’. You shouldn’t have to go through it alone if you don’t want to. And if you can’t tell me but want me to know, you can always have lady-voice tell me.”

“That’s not her name.”

“No, but she likes it.”

“I do, Star-Lord Quill.”

“You’re both ridiculous.” Tony sighed and shifted a little before turning his head and yawning against Peter’s throat. “I’m tired.”

“You can sleep. I’ll stay.”

“Thanks Peter.”

After that, FRIDAY usually found a way to let him know when Tony’s anxiety had reached a level where he needed (or just wanted) Peter. He and Rhodey talked a little, sharing tips and tricks. Peter learned to never touch Tony’s shoulders or head without warning and he mentioned that Tony seemed to like it when he talked about everything except the panic attack and why it was happening. Rhodey was pretty cool - Gamora seemed fond of him too, though she threatened Peter heavily whenever he mentioned it.

Thanos drew ever closer, but Peter made sure Tony didn’t have to attend the meetings that used the projections of space.

~.~.~

The first time they kissed wasn’t in the panic room. Tony hadn’t been having an anxiety attack or been distressed at all. The genius had been spending time with Rocket, both of them seeming to delight in having someone to talk tech and weapons to. Honestly, Peter was kind of worried (and really, really excited) to see the sort of stuff they’d come up with together. That day, they were all on the Milano, taking a bit of a time out from the other teams. Tony and Captain America had been arguing so much that the genius had stormed off hours before, Drax had just about come to blows with Spider-Man because of the kid’s jokes, and Natasha and Gamora had been eyeing each other with increasing hostility and ever-more-deadly weapons to sharpen in their laps. Peter was starting to get irritated with Hawkeye - his caustic personality just rubbed him the wrong way. Even Groot had started to get grumpy, his cheerful nature disappearing under very cranky 'Groot’s.

They’d all needed some air.

Tony and Rocket had already been aboard, getting along like a house on fire. It would have been irritating if Peter didn’t find it so heartwarming. He hadn’t ever seen Rocket take such a shine to anyone but Groot, and he liked seeing his friend excited and happy instead of snarling and hurling insults at the world. Part of it was probably Tony’s obvious respect for him - he never treated Rocket like an animal, didn’t make jokes about him being a 'rodent’, and would seek Rocket out for advice about tech - an acknowledgment of Rocket’s intelligence. Peter sort of wished he’d started out treating Rocket like that, with the dignity he deserved… but at least he’d gotten there in the end. All the Guardians had, and despite contentious beginnings, Peter thought they were one of the more solid teams that had come together to defeat Thanos.

To have Tony fitting into that group made Peter smile and feel sort of tingly in the regions of his heart and stomach. Tony and Rocket hadn’t even greeted them when they all filed onto the ship, too busy cheerfully debating the merits of focusing on damage or area of effect. Peter’d left them to it, clasping Drax on the shoulder before leaving him with Gamora - the ex-assassin would be able to help him soothe the last of his temper. Everyone would be hungry soon (except Groot, who seemed to live on sunlight and Rocket’s attention), and he’d like to keep the Guardians away from the Avengers for a little while longer. The Fantastic Four and the X-Men were only a little better, and Peter sometimes thought that maybe the Guardians were just too… different to fit in. They’d all been losers, freaks and criminals before they saved a planet. Even then, their quest hadn’t started out as any grand, noble gesture. It was them fighting desperately against the inevitable and managing to overcome the odds by sheer chance.

Even now, they didn’t really consider themselves heroes. They weren’t like the other teams, and that had to be why being around them for too long had all the Guardians getting a bit twitchy.

Shaking away his serious thoughts, Peter pulled on his headphones and pushed play - he could get lost in his mother’s music while he made them all dinner. He was so busy singing along and dancing between cooking them dinner that he didn’t realize Tony was in the room with him until the man took hold of the hand he’d just flung out in time to the beat. The food was ignored as they fell seamlessly into a dance for two; Peter even slid his headphones back around his neck and cranked up the volume so they could both hear the music. Tony sang right along with him, eyes lit up with joy, cheeks slightly pink from exertion. Song after song they danced and belted out, both of them slightly out of tune and neither caring even a little.

At the end of 'Come and Get Your Love’, Peter bent Tony back, making the man laugh so hard he nearly brought them both to the floor. He hurried to reel Tony back up, but Tony was trying to get there himself, and they both stumbled and lurched around the ship’s tiny kitchen, tripping over air and each other’s feet. When they finally, finally came to a stop, it was with Peter’s back pressed to the wall, Tony pressed against him, and both of them laughing hard enough to make tears come to their eyes. They kept laughing until they couldn’t breathe, Tony’s head on his shoulder and his breaths coming in soft pants that tickled Peter’s skin. After a few minutes, Peter started to run his hands over Tony’s back, head tipped back and eyes closed as he reveled in the feeling. He’d known he was attracted to Tony for a while, and he thought the feeling was mutual. Even if he wasn’t, he was always glad when he got to hang out with Tony outside of panic attacks. It was nice to smile and laugh with him.

Tony shifted and Peter looked down at him with a quirked brow; in answer, Tony gave him a sweet smile. He leaned up at the same time Peter bent his neck, and their mouths met in a perfect first kiss.

Or it would have been, if the food hadn’t caught fire and the smoke sent alarms peeling through the entirety of the ship. They laughed against each other’s mouths as the went to take care of the issue, moving in a much more awkward dance across the floor because they refused to let go of each other. By the time the attempt at dinner was extinguished, the rest of the Guardians were in the doorway of the kitchen, watching them.

They didn’t stop kissing while Drax congratulated them on their future copulation or when Groot started to tug on Tony’s pant leg, chiming in with cheerful 'I am Groot!’s continuously. Rocket jeered at them and Gamora said she would never understand human mating rituals, and they were still kissing. It wasn’t until Peter’s stomach let out a rumble that they finally separated. When he started dinner over again, Gamora teasingly towed Tony out by the ear, saying she didn’t want another meal burned to a crisp because of Peter’s distraction.

So Peter and Tony’s first kiss didn’t happen in the panic room, and they couldn’t seem to stop kissing everywhere once it had happened.

~.~.~

Tony wasn’t the only one who had anxiety. He wasn’t the only one who sometimes felt his lungs seize, who felt his heart start to stutter and gallop in his chest. Sometimes Peter remembered the last time he saw his mother, or all the fear he’d felt when he’d been kidnapped by Yondu and his Ravagers. Sometimes he remember the feeling of being unmade, his everything being unraveled and consumed by the power of the Infinity Stone. Sometimes he thought of Thanos, and was completely overwhelmed with the thought that Thanos might be able to harness the power of six of them. Before Earth, before Tony, Peter had handled his panic attacks the same way almost all the Guardians did - they latched onto the nearest member of the team to help them through it. They all knew how to handle each other’s attacks, and Gamora was the only one who wanted and needed to be away from all of them when her past and fears for the future caught up with her. Peter had preferred Drax only slightly - the hulking warrior didn’t mind casually touching him, while Rocket did it but was uncomfortable with it and Gamora could only bring herself to awkwardly pat his back.

Once he’d met Tony though, things had changed. While he would turn to his teammates if Tony was busy or otherwise unavailable, he mostly went to his boyfriend, who would lead him to the panic room. There they could cuddle on the couch that had made its appearance soon after their first kiss. Tony would run fingers through his hair and over his back; he didn’t mind that Peter sometimes held him a little too tightly. He wrapped himself around Peter and didn’t talk, because Peter wouldn’t hear him anyway.

With Tony as an anchor to the real world, he would sink into the music of his mother’s playlists completely. He let himself (and all his thoughts, all his feelings) go. Sometimes it felt like he’d ceased to exist, like he was part of the music, of the music was him. It was a feeling that was both strange and perfect, and usually he was ready to come back to the world by the time one side of the cassette tape had played.

The times that he wasn’t, the times that were so bad he came close to hyperventilating as soon as he heard the 'click’ that meant the music had ended, Tony always knew just what to do. He would shift the headphones off just one of Peter’s ears and speak quietly against it. Sometimes he would sing, and sometimes he whisper words of love and affection. If he was having a bad day of his own, he would ramble about his latest project as his fingers fumbled more clumsily than usual at the Walkman.

No matter what though, he always got it open and would turn over the tape, talking all the while so Peter wasn’t left hanging in silence. Once the Walkman shut with another 'click’, this one helping calm Peter down again, Tony would carefully tuck the player back in its proper place. Clever, calloused fingers would straighten and untangle the wires leading up to Peter’s headphones. Before he reached back down to start play, he always, always sang a short phrase that made Peter smile briefly before Tony settled the headphones back over his ears and Peter lost himself again

“Gimme the beat boys and soothe my soul, I wanna get lost in your rock and roll and drift away… drift, drift away…”

It wasn’t exactly how that song was supposed to go, but that was okay. Peter thought Tony’s version was perfect for them.

[omnicat]

I did not enjoy the third Thor movie much

It's a good thing my investment in the MCU was at an all-time low going in, or I probably would have come out of this movie really, really upset.

There were parts I quite liked. The story was fine. I'm cool with most of what happened, and where the movie leaves most of the characters. But the execution was everything I've been hoping against hope for almost two years it WOULDN'T be.

If you were always embarassed that the Thor movies were what they were and thought they would be better as GOTG movies with slightly nicer characters, you're gonna love this movie. If you wanted a Thor trilogy-closer that jives in tone and spirit with the previous two installments, better start lowering your expectations now. You know how some people complain that the first two Avengers movies had too many "Whedonisms"? This was so, so, SO much worse.

The jokes they shoehorned into the very end of the climax and the denouement are like a crash course on how to completely destroy any emotional impact you might have gotten out of what could have been the most poignant ending of an MCU movie to date. What happened in that one scene in the Bifrost chamber earlier on was so insultingly flippant I could only sit there with my jaw slack for the next couple of minutes, unable to believe that I'd really seen what I'd just seen and they were just going to leave it at that. Hela was only allowed to be intimidating half of the time; the other half, she was the worst kind of bumbling, rambling loser (a trait shared by practically everyone in this movie).

It was supposed to be funny. I did not find it funny.

(Hela could have been so fucking magnificent. Even her inability to string two sentences together without falling all over herself could have been a fascinating point of characterisation that only made her more terrifying. But no, instead of an unstoppable force of nature whose mental and emotional faculties were twisted and crippled by millennia of solitary confinement, who was aware of her newfound communicative incompetence and very clearly could or did take out her frustration with that on anyone who looked at her funny for it, she was just a pathetic weirdo who made a lot of pointy things happen. I DO NOT ENJOY HAVING TO REWRITE CANON TO THIS EXTENT JUST TO FIND SOMETHING ENJOYABLE IN IT.)

His fight scenes were fine for the most part, but outside of it Hulk and Bruce were as boring as ever. Doctor Strange was annoying and his gloves looked ridiculous, and the only part of his segment I enjoyed was when Thor got his umbrella back at the end.

Valkyrie was a consistent highlight, thank fuck, though she benefited hugely from being new to the MCU and thus having no previous appearances to live up to. And the way her history unfolds makes me so, so pissed off that Sif didn't get so much as a split-second cameo or a two-word namedrop. I understand that Sif's actress was busy starring in a tv show and didn't have time to film an in-depth exploration of the mind-bogglingly vast array of potential storylines that could have come from Sif + Valkyrie interaction, but that still doesn't excuse how this movie "solves" that problem by simply treating Sif like she never fucking existed. With an ending like this movie had, YOU CANNOT FUCKING DO THAT. HOW COULD YOU BE SO FUCKING LAZY. DID YOU EVEN TRY?!

I think anyone who's followed me long enough to remember the Thor glory days can guess that I was never even all that interested in Sif, but like Yin in the Darker Than Black sequels, I AM SO OUTRAGED ON HER BEHALF I CAN'T EVEN.

The way Sif went up into thin air almost bothers me more than the way they wrote Jane out, and that was bullshit of the highest order. Spoiler that's not worth keeping mum about: Jane dumped Thor. No, we don't get a single word explaining why. She just dumped him. End of.

I said this when there were rumors about it going around before The Dark World came out and I'll say it again: breaking up a couple off-screen after they've spent two and a half movies just trying to be able to properly hook up in the first place and haven't gotten to do anything else yet is SHITTY FUCKING WRITING. Pepperony sort-of broke up off-screen before Civil War, and it didn't bother me! Because we were told why, and it was a logical extension of all the issues they'd been having as an established couple for the past two movies, and even then the "break-up" was explicitly a work-in-progress!

But Thor and Jane don't get any of that. Every rando on the planet apparently knows that Jane dumped Thor, because some nameless extra asking for a selfie in the middle of the street is a totally logical and not at all forced source of this not at all pointless revelation, but telling us how or why? LOLOLOLNO, let's just "funnily" have Thor get defensively cagey about who dumped who.

Thor and Jane's break-up doesn't even get to serve any fucking purpose. There's no new love interest to make room for. Thor doesn't die. There's only one movie between this and Infinity War, so even while trying to avoid giving anything away about the ending, I think it's safe to say that Thor will make his way back to Earth in little more than six months time.

I really don't want to give away the ending here, but AAARRRRGGGHHHHH WHAT EVEN IS THE POINT re: Jane and Thor breaking up in that light. >:|

And no, for the millionth time, Jane's actress did not refuse to work with Marvel again. She was never invited back in the first place.

The only good thing about this development is that it makes it easier to write canon-compliant Loki/Jane fic, but I never expected that shit to be canon-compliant in the first place, so that's a sorry consolation prize.

...I mean, FUCKING SERIOUSLY. Thor spent two years moping and pining about Jane and the entire last movie fretting over her, but now the only thing they show him feeling at the break-up is that Jane dumping him was a blow to his ego?! WHO THOUGHT THAT WAS OKAY.

I just... I can't believe I'm going to have to put up with this movie being the way it is forever. That, going off of their business model so far, this is how my first favorite branch of the MCU has ended, and there's no do-over. I keep thinking to myself "I hope someone makes a fanedit that cuts away all the cringy, out-of-place attempts at humor that bothered me so much", but even if they did, in a lot of cases that probably still wouldn't magically create the impact I did want all those ruined and interrupted scenes to have. They'd just fall flat in a different way.

I've never actually come out of an MCU movie disliking more than maybe one or two small, isolated, easily ignored parts of it before. I am not enjoying the fact that of all the movies it could have been, it had to be this one.

[equivvitch]

Fassathon: A Summary (Part I)

So, this summer, in the year of Our Lord 2017, I decided to do something stupid and unnecessary, as I do, by watching every single theatrically-released movie Michael Fassbender has been in thus far. Every single one. I dubbed it the Fassathon and didn’t rest until I was finished. (I know a lot of his early career was in television and in television movies (trust me I know the only thing I have to type in my search bar is “im” and his IMDb page pops up automatically) and given more time I’ll probably watch some of those but for the sake of not having to watch like seven more movies I granted myself that leniency.)

All in all, I’d say it took about two months. In total I believe I watched 24 movies, having already watched five beforehand (the new X-Men trilogy, Shame, and Jane Eyre) for a grand total of 29 damn movies (full disclosure, one was a bonus which you’ll see eventually but whatever). Some of them were actually ones I needed/wanted to watch but a lot were….not.

In any case, for the sake of posterity and making myself feel better about being a dumbass, I decided to write up some kind of summary piece about it, so that’s what this is. It got fuckign long so it’s gonna be divided into three parts: two just reviewing the movies and one with some summary thoughts.

This is part one, but first, it wouldn’t be a post by me without eighty disclaimers so let’s get that out of the way first:

This is all subjective obviously. Keep in mind I had to watch all of these so a lot of times I tended to compare them more to themselves than films as a whole. I tried to see the big picture after the fact but when you have 28 films to watch you tend to get hyper-focused on the task at hand. Also I’m not a film critic. I’m just an asshole and a dumbass, a dumb asshole if you will. I am interested in film theory but that means about jack since I have no formal education in it.

It should also be noted that a) Fassbender’s performances in these movies were almost uniformly excellent. The man can carry a movie on his goddamn back and often does if required to do so. This was noted consistently to the point of it being funny in the reviews of each movie. b) A lot of these are British movies. They’re not Hollywood. Just…..pointing it out. And c) I’m 1000% attached to some of these films/franchises outside of this “challenge.” X-Men in particular and also Jane Eyre I’m invested in deeply so that might affect my ideas.

That out of the way, without further ado, some reviews, thoughts, and recommendations:

X-Men: First Class (Erik Lehnsherr)

Rating: 8/10

Quick Summary: At the height of the Cold War, Charles Xavier and Erik Lehnsherr meet under unlikely circumstances and form an even more unlikely bond. They end up with a common goal in defeating a ghost of Erik’s past, Sebastian Shaw, who is determined to cause nuclear war between the U.S. and Soviet Union in hopes of destroying all humans and making way for mutant rule. The two set out and put together a team of mutants to help combat him, but push their relationship in the process to an unfortunate breaking point.

Some Thoughts: I have watched First Class so many times you have no idea. Understand, I once did a full rewatch of this movie for the sole purpose of fact-checking a post that was talking about how many times Charles says “Erik” throughout the movie. I sat there and tallied them by rewatching the entire thing. I love this movie to pieces, so I really have no ability to objective over it. Because of that I do know its flaws pretty well, trust me. It has issues (coughs about the ridiculous awful romantic subplots), but I really do think it’s a strong film and an interesting start to this quasi-reboot. Ultimately it’s a movie about the relationship between Erik and Charles, so that is its strongest point. There are some big shoes to fill, considering Sirs Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellan had the roles first, but McAvoy and Fassbender do a great job with it. It was stated in interviews that McAvoy was cast first and then they made the guys going out for the role of Erik read with him to cast a chemistry instead of a person and it shows. It really is shot like a love story, especially when the B-plot is an explicit romance between Hank and Raven. In my opinion it’s a fun ride, watching everyone meet and use their powers, train together and learn together. The ending is not that happy and I always shake hands with movies that dare to do that, especially big films like this (see GotG 2). It can be silly and frustrating at times, but after Last Stand I feel like we could only go up. I know some people really don’t like this movie which? I guess I’d like to hear from someone who doesn’t to understand why. That being said, Armando deserved better. Fuck his nonsensical death.

Warnings: Montages? Also some violence. Not a ton but what’s there sticks in your head.

Recommend?: Yeah! If you like superhero movies this is a pretty solid one.

X-Men: Days of Future Past (Erik, but this time in the 70s, and with less turtlenecks and more scarves)

Rating: 9/10

Quick Summary: (This plot is so convoluted I’m going to have to be vague otherwise this could take years.) In an apocalyptic future these robots called Sentinels are murdering everyone, particularly mutants because at one point a guy named Dr. Trask got ahold of Mystique’s DNA and used it to make them indestructible. The always wonderful and patient Logan gets sent back to the past to try and stop this from happening. There he finds Charles in a terrible, drug-induced spiral having lost everything and has to attempt to get him out of it so he can help find Raven who’s gone rogue and wants to kill Trask for his experimentation on mutants. In the process they join up with Erik, courtesy of Peter/Quicksilver, which doesn’t go well, which no one could have ever seen coming. The whole thing comes to a head when Raven has to decide whether to become a murderer and risk an even darker future or let Trask walk free and go against what she believes in.

Some Thoughts: I remember so clearly sitting the theatre and seeing the first preview for this, turning to my family and joking about the really stupid title. Like “Days of Future Past? What kind of title is that?” It’s up there with Back to the Future in terms of dumb titles, but is somehow pretty much acknowledged as the best of the current three, alternate timeline movies?? In spite of its ridiculously convoluted plot, it’s a really solid film and has great character development for two of the big players, Charles and Raven. Wolverine acts as a familiar foundation and point of view for the story and grounds it as he often does. Charles has to learn to stop trying to control those around him and move on with his life despite past losses, and Raven has to make a pivotal choice for her character. The scene at the end where it’s flipping between the future and past and all the original cast and the new cast are fighting at the same time is really cool, and the character arcs are strong and satisfying. The only one who doesn’t change much is Erik, but arguably First Class was his platform for character development or, more accurately, regression. He doesn’t do anything that helpful (which is….true to form) but watching him lift an entire fucking baseball stadium, fly it through the air, and drop it on top of the White House is pretty rad. Also Quicksilver is incredible holy shit the way they do his scenes is iconic. Kind of confusing maybe, but it also retconned almost the entirety of the original timeline in a genius move to destroy Last Stand once and for all. It’s usually called the best for a reason.

Warnings: Wolverine gets stabbed by stuff and shot a lot but that’s par for the course

Recommend?: Yep! But you might want to have watched some of the other movies first. Watching it with no background would probably be….too much.

X-Men: Apocalypse (Still Erik/Polish(?) Lumberjack/Poster child for Man Pain™)

Rating: 5/10

Quick Summary: An ancient mutant named Apocalypse (or En Sabah Nur if we’re going to be technical) awakens in the midst of the 80s (because there must be a 10 year gap between each movie it’s a rule). He used to rule but now he doesn’t and he’s mad so now he wants to destroy the world or some shit and rebuild it in his image. He does this by getting together his four horsemen (get it) including Erik who is inexplicably in Poland with yet another family that gets fridged. The X-Men find this out and get together to take him down.

Some Thoughts: I can (and have) ranted about this movie for literal hours. I have some serious personal gripes with it and it annoys me to the point where I’ve blown it out of proportion so keep that in mind. That rating might be a bit low but this movie is mediocre at best. I guess the core of it is because the X-Men conflict is a lot more interesting when they’re up against some government entity or society as a whole rather than just some random villain, at least to me. This movie also does not have a strong foundation like the first two did, no solid grounding point. In XMFC it was Erik and Charles’s relationship, in DoFP it was Wolverine being the POV character, but in this we really have nothing. The stuff with the kids is probably the most interesting and I hope they do more of that in the upcoming sequel. It has a few good moments (Quicksilver’s scene and Erik dramatically throwing down giant steel beams in the shape of an “X” in front of Apocalypse as he switches sides to save Charles and co stick out in my mind) but it tends to drag otherwise. There are about twenty plots going on and it takes forever for them all to connect. The romantic subplot crap is a pain in the ass and dragging Moira back was particularly idiotic when you realize they once again gave her nothing to do in the final act except overlook Charles completely violating her personhood in the first movie by wiping her mind without consent so she can get back together with him. The shit with Erik’s Poland family is stupid even if it’s done well. Magneto of all fucking people does not need more man pain for god’s sake. Lawrence is so checked out she really might as well be a phone recording as Lindsay Ellis points out in her Loose Canon series on YouTube. The only one who really had any interesting development was Storm and I hope they keep on with her because she’s a really good character. There’s just not much there for me, or what is there isn’t of any value. I really hope the next one is better. (Probably a far-fetched hope but a girl can dream.)

Warnings: Lazy writing (and comic-book-movie-typical violence)

Recommend?: I mean you probably want to watch if you’re watching the series. It’s not the worst X-Men movie. I’m probably a little harsh on it. There are the Wolverine sequels. Still, if you’re not that invested, it’s probably not worth it.

Jane Eyre (Rochester)

Rating: 11/10 10/10

Quick Summary: Jane Eyre has lived a fairly unfortunate life, having been put under watch of her cruel aunt after her parents’ deaths and consequently sent to a boarding school that beats its pupils into submission, but remains strong in spite of this. She finds herself a new job as a governess at Thornfield Hall and soon meets its master, Edward Fairfax Rochester. The two begin to talk and form an interesting relationship in spite of their large age difference. Jane begins to fall for her employer, overlooking his rough exterior to the person underneath. Rochester reciprocates, but all is not well. Jane discovers her lover is hiding a dark secret and must decide whether to be true to her love for him or to herself.

Some Thoughts: I WOULD DIE FOR JANE EYRE TBH THE DAY NETFLIX TOOK IT OFF WAS A TRAVESTY. Really, though it’s such a good movie and very loyal to the book. It’s a period piece, but it’s very different from something like Pride and Prejudice, a lot because Jane is such an interesting character. I love her and Mia Wasikowska does a great job. Rochester is a bitch, but…..he’s a bitch with a good heart. Realistically he’s supposed to be kind of….not good looking? So casting Fassbender might have been counterproductive, but it does mean he has to compensate for his incredibly square jawline which can’t be hidden behind that shit sideburn beard with his acting, which he does very well. His charisma kind of helps to smooth over the fact that Rochester can be standoffish to viewers that aren’t prepared for him. He is no Mr. Darcy. The chemistry between the two is great and the story is really enthralling. The music is gorgeous and the ending is satisfying. Well-shot, well-paced, loyal to the original, just a great adaptation all together. It’s not a happy movie, but it has a happy ending. I really have nothing but good things to say about it. Please give it a chance if you’re even a bit interested.

Warnings: You might cry/a little blood

Recommend?: Yes!

Shame (Brandon)

Rating: 10/10

(Quick note: if you’re like “wow you sure aren’t harsh on these movies” listen this was back when I was actually choosing the ones I wanted to watch….so yeah….these are mostly good ones at first. There are definitely some bads on here….don’t you worry…)

Quick Summary: Without giving away everything: Brandon is a pretty normal man struggling with a sex addiction which he basically refuses to acknowledge at the beginning of the movie. His lifestyle is disrupted when his younger sister Sissy comes to stay at his apartment without asking him first. The rest of the film is about their complicated and mildly toxic relationship and Brandon dealing (and not dealing) with his addiction with mixed results.

Some Thoughts: This is one of those movies like Brokeback Mountain that just kind of….sticks on you. I felt that way about Silence of the Lambs too where you watch it and then you can’t really forget about it. Fassbender has worked with Steve McQueen who directed this film three times, this being the second, and they make a great pair. McQueen loves him some long takes and he does them well. His style of directing is unflinching to the point of it being uncomfortable which works well for the type of stories he likes to tell. It’s a very quiet movie, not much dialogue, but it really hits home. This really is one of Fassbender’s best of performances in my opinion. He can do a lot with just his expressions and it really shows here. The dynamic between him and Carey Mulligan who plays Sissy is really poignant. I probably could never do it justice with words alone. It’s difficult to watch, but worth it. It’s one of those movies where the protagonist doesn’t really grow, pointed out very blatantly here. True development hasn’t taken place, at least not yet. Whether or not you think it actually will after this is left up to how optimistic you are for the characters and the story.

Warnings: This is rated NC-17 for a reason. They do not shy away from anything and they do not cut you a break by easing into it. Translation: if you’re disinterested in becoming familiar with some very particular bits of Fassy’s anatomy I’d steer clear. Also strong warning for themes (and fairly graphic depictions) of self-harm.

Recommend?: I would never tell someone to watch this movie, but I would definitely advocate for it. Read the description (that a professional has written, not just mine fff), check the warnings, see if you’re up for it. This is one you need to choose to watch, not be forced to.

Macbeth (Macbeth)

Rating: 6/10

Quick Summary: Oh god, I still don’t remember the plot of this thing…. I swear I read it once but you’d be better off reading the Spark Notes or something. It’s based on the Shakespeare play (obviously) where this dude named Macbeth and his wife Lady Macbeth go around killing people to gain power because some weird ladies in the middle of a field told him he’d be king. Everyone fucking dies at the end per usual due to really ridiculous loopholes. A grand old time, as always, with Mr. ‘speare.

Some Thoughts: Listen pal I got food poisoning trying to watch this damn movie THE CURSE OF THE SCOTTISH PLAY IS REAL. But really, it’s kind of what you’d expect? All of this is coming from me, an idiot, who doesn’t remember the play super well and is shit at Shakespeare, so bear that in mind, but?? It stuck to the original pretty well. It’s played dead-ass straight, so know that right now. There is no humor in this movie ever; it’s completely serious. Also impossible to understand because it’s Shakespearean English in Scottish accents. You’d be better off with a background knowledge of the play I think. That said, the visuals in this movie are absolutely gorgeous holy shit. The ending fight scene is incredible. That alone made it worth the watch for me at least. Marion Cotillard who plays Lady Macbeth is amazing as well. What a great performance. It’s a solid film. You need to accept its no-nonsense attitude to get into it, but otherwise it’s fine.

Warnings: It gets pretty bloody, but not overly so.

Recommend?: Not really, unless you really like the play or have a good knowledge of it already. It’s beautiful, but a little too serious for the casual viewer. I assume that’s why its reviews are kind of mixed.

Prometheus (David)

Rating: 6.5/10

Quick Summary: Two scientists discover a series of ancient drawings, all of which are very similar despite appearing hundreds of years and thousands of miles apart. They believe this might be a clue as to how the human race came to be, a path to our creators. They set out on the Prometheus to investigate a planet they believe to be the origin of these so called “engineers.” Things go awry as one might expect when they find the planet is already inhabited, but not by any “engineers.” Moreover, several crewmembers have secret motivations of their own for coming along which doesn’t really turn out well for anyone.

Some Thoughts: I feel like a lot of people don’t like Prometheus because it’s a think-y movie. It’s not really an action-packed thriller like other movies in the Alien franchise. This was the first in the franchise I’d ever seen so I didn’t really go in with those kind of expectations which I think was to my benefit. If you go in looking for answers you’re probably going to not like it, but I just sort of went to have a good time and pretty much did. Noomi Rapace as Elizabeth Shaw is really great. I really enjoyed her as the main character. There are some really good actors in this movie and I think they do a good job. I loved Idris Elba’s character a lot for example. It’s a beautiful film as well. Fassbender plays David, the resident android of the ship. It was interesting to watch him play a robot because he is, to me, a very emotive actor and this had to be more restrained. I don’t remember the movie super well which probably speaks to it just being an average sort of film. It’s not great, but it’s not as bad as some people seemed to think it was. Just go along for the ride and it can be a good popcorn flick.

Warnings: There’s one really graphic surgery scene that was hard to watch, but otherwise it’s (compared to the other Alien film on this list) not too bad. It really is more introspective than bloody. Also, maybe obviously, there are aliens in this movie.

Recommend?: If you’re into sci-fi thought-pieces, sure. Just don’t go in expecting a masterpiece.

Alien: Covenant (Walter and David, yes both)

Rating: (completely subjective) 8/10

Quick Summary: A group of forgettable, idiot crewmembers who are all inexplicably married for no reason other than a desperate bid to get you to care about them in any way (you won’t. trust me. they’re so stupid you’ll probably rooting against them eventually) are piloting a ship called the Covenant with 2000-some passengers and a lot of embryos on a colonizing mission. Along the way they intercept a strange transmission coming from another habitable planet they hadn’t noticed before which is much closer and decide to investigate. Once there things take a turn for the worst. After several deaths and the completely avoidable destruction of their ship, they run into David who’s been living alone on the planet for ten years after the Prometheus crashed there. They soon learn that they would have been better off braving the planet and waiting for rescue alone.

Some Thoughts: Listen I went into this movie completely expecting it to be horrible. This really was the one that started it all, where I decided I’d watch all of them. I wasn’t going to watch it because it looked ridiculous, but then it was available to rent and I was curious. In all honesty, I really only went in to see with my own eyes how and why the actual hell Fassbender was playing two characters which at some point kiss, so that was part of it. Ultimately I ended up really liking it. Now mind you, this is not a good movie. It’s not. The cast is forgettable and stupid to the point where you just want them to die already and get it over with. The only person I even slightly cared about was Daniels, the main crewmember character you follow. People die without any pomp and the movie is riddled with clichés. That said, it is a lot more like what I expect an Alien movie usually is. There’s a lot more fighting of aliens and a lot more blood. So what’s with the rating? Really it’s completely subjective, but if you know me and watch this movie you’ll probably understand. Let’s just say I have a very specific type of character I tend to like and this movie delivers.

Fassbender carries this gotdamn movie on his back half the time and somehow pulls off the ridiculous scenario of him being the two different robots. The interactions between Walter and David really were some of the more interesting parts of the film for me, completely ridiculous as they are (“I’ll do the fingering”). If you can just suspend your disbelief and go with it I insist that it can be a good time. My favor of the movie really comes from my opinion of David and I think that’s what will make or break the movie for you. It was a ballsy choice of protagonist, and when you realize that I think the forgettable main crew is a little more justifiable. Big kudos for the ending as well, at least from me. It ended exactly the way I wanted it to, and I ended up being invested in who I needed to be invested in. It’s a stupid movie, but I do think you can have fun watching it if you’re in it for the right stuff (namely the fassbots).

(Also, people are not happy about the fuck-million more Alien movies in the works but hear me out…. I have a great pitch idea….what if with every new movie we just double the number of Fassbenders…… so there’s four and then eight and then sixteen all the way until we just have infinite Fassbenders….. listen this is a great plan Mr. Scott please hire me as script consultant from now on)

Warnings: This is a lot more of a horror movie than Prometheus. It’s bloody and violent, and yes there are more aliens. Also it is really stupid. Also warnings for that sweet, sweet ‘bot-on-‘bot action ;)

Recommend?: I mean….not really. Again my opinion is so subjective here that it’s worth a grain of salt. If you do, you need to watch Prometheus first because you need to form an opinion of David.

Hunger (Bobby Sands)

Rating: 5/10

Quick Summary: Without me sitting here for like a half hour looking up a lot of proper names and dates (which I’ve already done once when I was watching the damn thing), this a movie about a hunger strike led by a man named Bobby Sands. It takes place in a prison in Northern Ireland. A group of people called the Republicans who are fighting against being part of Britain and want one united Ireland are being arrested for political acts and are protesting in any way they can. This begins with bathing and clothing strikes, and eventually leads to a hunger strike when this accomplishes nothing.

Some Thoughts: So this is a critically-acclaimed movie and I know people really like it. I guess I can see why but compared to McQueen’s other films I didn’t think it was super impressive. It’s his first project with Fassbender and in a lot of ways it feels like an early-career film. It has a lot of pacing issues. I read reviews saying it’s two movies in one and it really is. As an American (and therefore a dumbass when it comes to conflicts in other countries because our history classes here are Shit) it was sort of a confusing movie to watch just because I didn’t really have any background knowledge about what was happening. I was doing a lot of googling throughout to catch myself up with the conflict and acronyms etc. It’d definitely strike more of a chord with someone who knew about it beforehand. It is a prison movie and it’s difficult to watch because of that. There’s a lot of mistreatment of prisoners and just kind of gross stuff in general. I was whining at one point about the hunger strike not starting until like…20 minutes before the movie ends but I see now why it didn’t because you’re basically just watching Fassbender starve to death from that point on and it’s Not Fun. There are impressive parts of it. There’s a long take of a conversation between Bobby and a priest where he explains his idea of starting a hunger strikes that is, I shit you know, seventeen fucking minutes long. It’s crazy. There are other long takes in the film but they’re not always used super effectively. This can cause the movie to drag at times. The use of sound in the movie is also really amazing. It’s very quiet usually, but picks its loud moments and picks them well. Overall I didn’t get much out of watching it, but that’s just me. I didn’t think it was worth the difficult watch.

Warnings: It’s unrated but I bet it would be R or even NC-17 if it was. Lots of disturbing shots of violence against prisoners and behaviors of the prisoners themselves tbh. There’s nudity as well, but it’s used as humiliation mostly. As usual, McQueen’s style of filmmaking is unflinching and watching someone starve to death isn’t fun.

Recommend?: Not really. McQueen has better films you could watch. Unless you’re personally interested in the conflict at hand, I’d skip it.

Frank (Frank)

Rating: 10/10

Quick Summary: An untalented aspiring musician named Jon suddenly stumbles across the opportunity of a lifetime to play in actual band when they find themselves out a keyboard player the day before a performance. Jon lends them a hand and is accepted into the group in spite of some friction with most of the members. They invite him back on what ends up being year-long trip into the woods to write a new album. While living with the band, the Soronprfbs, Jon gets to know the members better, as well as their many quirks. Notably, there is Don, the manager who seems level-headed if somewhat depressed, Clara, who doesn’t take Jon’s being there very well, and Frank, the apparent leader of the band. Jon takes a special interest in Frank who appears to be the heart and soul of the group. In spite of wearing a giant fake head at all times, he’s very friendly, encouraging, and strangely inspiring. As they work to write their album, Jon begins to record and post their progress on social media, gaining them a new following of people amused by their bizarre antics. This new popularity ends up landing them a bigger gig than they’ve ever had before, but comes at the cost of risking the band’s identity and solidarity.

Some Thoughts: Frank is an amazing movie. If someone wasn’t interested in Jane Eyre but wanted a Fassbender rec, I would 100% give this one. I love this movie to pieces and I’m so glad I watched it because I was initially on the fence with it. In fact, I liked it so much I watched it twice within my rental period, and have now purchased it. If you’re looking for something close to a comedy on this list, this is it. I kind of describe it as if Wes Anderson directed Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, threw in a strong lesson about mental illness, and bumped up the rating a bit. This movie is hilarious and wonderful and poignant. The message is a really good one and one I don’t think we hear a lot. It’s a good commentary on the relationship between art and mental illness, and it’s done respectfully for the most part. Fassbender as Frank is kind of incredible. You don’t see his face for the majority of the film, but he still gives an amazing performance. I think it shows how talented he is as an actor that he pulls this part off so well. You’re intrigued as much as Jon is by him, or at least I was. The humor is a little out there and some of the themes may be off-putting, but I really do think this is one to see. Maggie Gyllenhaal as Clara is fantastic as well. It’s a difficult part but she pulls it off so wonderfully. Domhnall Gleeson as Jon gives a decent grounding point of view character as well. It’s funny and touching and goddammit maybe someday I’ll watch one of these movies without crying but that ending hit me right in the heart.

Warnings: Themes of self-harm and mental illness are present. They’re not played as a joke, but they’re there.

Recommend?: Yes please watch this movie I beg of you it deserves all the praise

Fish Tank (Connor)

Rating: 5/10

Quick Summary: The movie is a coming-of-age story of sorts for the protagonist Mia. Mia has a difficult home life with a neglectful and often abusive mother as well as a penchant for causing trouble. Having been kicked out of school she is directionless which only furthers her spiral downward. Her only true passion is dancing, but she prefers to do this privately. One day she meets her mother’s latest fling, Connor. Unlike the others, however, Connor seems there to stay. Mia begins to interact with Connor and the two form a relationship. Connor is kind to both her and her younger sister, treating them with respect and parental affection they do not receive otherwise. Connor encourages Mia’s hobby and leads her to begin searching for a career in dancing, helping to turn her life around. Things take a turn when Mia and Connor overstep a boundary in their relationship and this leads to Mia discovering that Connor was not what she thought he was.

Some Thoughts: I’m very…ambivalent about this movie, so I don’t probably have a lot interesting to say about it. It seems to me that Fish Tank is a part of a very particular genre of movie about a specific part of the British lower class, making it difficult to relate to for someone who hasn’t experienced that way of life. I watched another movie called Beautiful Thing a long time ago that was part of this genre as well, and that’s what Fish Tank reminded me of more than anything else. It seems to be characterized by poor, crowded living conditions and abusive family dynamics more than anything else. The characters struggle to get by and are generally mean-spirited to everyone they encounter automatically. It can make for a bitter watching experience, even if it is realistic. Mia is a somewhat believable teenager. Since this is a British movie about hip-hop dancing however and the actress playing Mia has…little to no actual dancing skill, any parts of the movie that have to do with this dancing can be embarrassing to watch. You really have to accept that it’s stupid and move past it to watch the thing.

The relationship between Mia and Connor is…troubling which I’m sure it’s supposed to be but it’s never resolved. Some of the scenes in the movie are disturbing as some in Hunger. One of my biggest issues with the movie was there really seemed to be a conversation missing. The end of the film felt like it was lacking a crucial interaction between the two and it made the ending fall pretty flat, at least for me. I know people like this movie and it’s award-winning but I couldn’t relate to it in any meaningful way. It left me feeling conflicted more than anything else. I have no strong or final opinion on this movie. I do respect that it had a female director, but I feel as though I very clearly wasn’t its intended audience, so its impact on me was minor at best and non-existent at worst. There are some nice cheesecake shots in it of Fassbender I guess. I think it still wins for best ass shot afdjks;lj

Warnings: Some disturbing character behavior, especially from Mia. Abusive family dynamics and physical child abuse are also present. Also statutory r*pe. Also some really embarrassing excuses for hip-hop dancing and general cultural appropriation shit that comes from a British movie about hip-hop.

Recommend?: You can try it, but I wouldn’t advocate for it. There are better artsy films to watch unless you’re actually in the target demographic and think you might like this sort of movie.

Inglourious Basterds (Lt. Archie Hicox)

Rating: 7/10

Quick Summary: When she was young, Shosanna’s family was murdered by Nazis hunting down Jewish families who had escaped to France. Now, as a young woman, she finds herself with the opportunity to get revenge. Meanwhile, Lt. Aldo Raine has formed a group of rogue Nazi-hunters called the Basterds, infamous throughout Germany for their lack of restraint and ability to avoid capture. His team is hired by the Allies to help with a plot to hopefully take out all the big political figures in the Nazi party, including Hitler himself, in one fell swoop. It just so happens these two plans are meant to take place in the same place, on the same night.

Some Thoughts: This is the first Tarantino movie I’ve ever seen and I do think it was good for me to at least see one. I was glad to see the movie itself too, actually. It was one on here I just needed to watch outside of this thing. I enjoyed it for all it reveled (as expected) in gore occasionally. I really loved Shosanna. Mélanie Laurent did an excellent job with her and she was easily the best part of the film for me, though I did enjoy Brad Pitt’s shenanigans as Aldo. Fassbender has kind of a bit part in this one which was a little different, since he tends to steal the spotlight otherwise. It really wasn’t my favorite performance of his. It was a little unfocused, though that might be because his character is just a plot device. Kind of a shame but in true X-Men fashion all he did was show-up, fuck things up, and then make his exit. Ah well. It’s well-shot and a good time, if a little long. The blood was there, but not excessive. Maybe a good choice if you, like me, wanted to see one of these movies, but were a little nervous about the violence.

Warnings: Typical Tarantino violence, I presume. Really, it’s just a few focused shots of it, but there is scalping in this movie, as well as some mutilation and gunshot wounds. I whipped my hand up to cover the screen more the once throughout and I’m pretty decent with blood.

Recommend?: Sure. It’s a pretty solid film and last time I checked it’s free on Netflix.

Centurion (Quintus Dias)

Rating: 6.5/10

Quick Summary: In the something-or-other A.D. the Romans are up somewhere near Britain trying to expand the empire, as one does, but are having trouble with the native peoples of those lands called the Picts. The Picts keep decimating their armies, as they do with Quintus Dias’s men. The Picts take him in rather than killing him because he speaks their language, allowing him to escape and meet up with another regiment. Together, they try again to attack the Picts and again are defeated handily. This time the Picts take their general of sorts. Dias and a small group of men are the only ones to survive and attempt to rescue him, but ultimately fail. Afterwards they begin their attempt to escape to safety, all the while being hunted by the Picts.

Some Thoughts: So I fully expected to hate this movie. When I saw this was the other one on Netflix I was Not Happy, but? It kind of surprised me. I think really it did a couple small things well and that turned my favor of it. It really isn’t that great of a movie, with a lot of narration and not a ton to say, but it’s certainly not offensive. It turned into a survival movie rather than a war movie which I greatly preferred. They also weren’t super over the top with the romantic subplot which was….SHOCKING. Usually, in my experience with the Fassathon, if there can be a sex scene there Will Be A Sex Scene, but not here. They meet a cool witch lady along the way who takes to Quintus, but never is it obnoxious, nor does it waste time with it. It was a breath of fresh air tbh…. I’m probably patting this movie on the back for little things too much, but I really do think it could have been a lot worse. It’s fine. I don’t really know who the target audience was supposed to be but it might be good for a night when you’re bored and can’t think of anything else to watch. You get to watch Fassbender run valiantly and stupidly shirtless through the snow if nothing else.

Warnings: It can get bloody, but not overly so. Also mentions of past sexual assault, but nothing shown.

Recommend?: Eh…like I said. Maybe for the night you’re flipping around and there’s nothing on. Decent popcorn flick, probably not worth spending money on.

Trespass Against Us (Chad Cutler)

Rating: 3/10

Quick Summary: Nothing I could write will make this movie’s plot make any damn sense but I’ll try anyway. Basically there’s this family called the Cutlers who are….Irish tent-people and also a weird kind of mob family with a patriarch named Colby. They live in this little trailer park circle and commit crimes to get by. The plot basically revolves around Fassbender’s character Chad Cutler trying to get out from under Colby’s thumb in order to give his wife and two children a better life. Unfortunately, it seems again and again that he’s already dug his grave and there’s nothing to do but lie in it.

Some Thoughts: So this is a weird movie. The whole conceit is weird and another one that you just kind of have to go with to be able to watch it. Its problem is that it doesn’t really have an arc or a narrative that goes anywhere. If it really had wanted to do something it would have needed to allow Chad to make any progress in his attempts to get away. The dialogue is full of slang and really difficult to understand at times. The whole dynamic of the family is sort of confusing and it’s never explained, just thrust upon you immediately. There are some good interactions, notably between Colby and Chad. The parental relationship between Chad and his son is interesting too, but it really just doesn’t go anywhere with itself. I got a little caught up in the emotionality of it watching it, but looking back I can see how flawed it is. I really don’t see what the director was getting at. Also the religious overtones are strange and didn’t do a whole lot. Just kind of unimpressive if still nice to look at sometimes.

Warnings: Animal death. A lot, actually, and often purposeful. Disturbing behavior, especially one scene where a man is stripped and humiliated. It was surprising and difficult to watch.

Recommend?: Hard pass. Skip it.

300 (Stelios)

Rating: 4/10

Quick Summary: Gerard Butler leads a group of 300 dudes against a gigantic, vaguely racist depiction of the Persian army.

Some Thoughts: I have nothing original to say about this movie, I’m sure. I was……not super happy to find it on here honestly, so I did my best to just enjoy it by making fun of it. Most people know what 300 is like. It’s got some interesting visuals, but it’s definitely one that looks pretty and does as little as possible. Mostly it’s a male power fantasy interwoven with quite a bit of racism, particularly in the portrayal of the Persians. It’s saturated with slow-mo shots and rousing speeches that aren’t really that important to anything. It’s a good one to watch on a bad movie night probably if you don’t mind some of the gore. This was Fassbender’s first theatrical appearance if I’m correct and he’s fine. I guess one plus-side of this movie is that everyone’s practically naked the whole time and super buff so that can be fun to ogle if nothing else. It is what it is.

Warnings: Body horror, lots of blood, and war stuff. Tiddies? Racism? Scottish yelling?

Recommend?: It’s your life buddy. It’s probably one to see once so you can rag on it in good conscience.

Steve Jobs (Steve Jobs)

Rating: 9/10

Quick Summary: A movie shot in three parts showing a dramatized version of the events before the release of three of Jobs’s products, focusing in on his relationship with his coworkers as well as past lover and daughter.

Some Thoughts: This is an excellent movie. It’s another one I’d readily recommend to anyone. The scale of the script is unheard of, meaning it’s super dialogue-heavy but you don’t notice at all. It’s completely absorbing. The performances are top-notch all around. This is another one of Fassbender’s best performances. He sinks into the role completely and does a phenomenal job. Kate Winslet is equally wonderful and balances Fassbender’s Jobs well. I really knew nothing about Jobs before watching this movie and I don’t know how much is true and how much is dramatized but I think that shows that even someone who knows nothing can enjoy it and find it interesting. The politics of it all were particularly wild to bear witness to. It’s a great character piece and it deserved the nominations it got in my opinion. I really liked Jobs’s relationship with his daughter as well. I don’t know how they managed to make a movie full of mostly talking so exciting but they did. I also think they did a great job of not idolizing Jobs at all, nor vilifying him. They walked a fine line and wrote him so he seemed truly human rather than a historical figure. That’s hard to do but they nailed it. Once again, I have little bad to say. If you’re not interested in Jane Eyre, Shame, or Frank here’s another good option for you.

Warnings: The IMDb parental advisory page said something about there being some sex/intimacy stuff but I never saw anything which makes me Highly Suspicious

Recommend?: Yes! Give it a chance!

(cont. in pt. 2 / pt. 3)

[helenhuntingdon]

endgame thoughts & feels !!!

Im first thoughts so anyone who EVEN accidentally clicks on read more and doesn’t want to see spoilers even v accidentally so first they will actually read about my bladder rather than see spoilers

I STFG IRL I CAN GO MORE THAN 3 HOURS W/O NEEDING TO PEE, LIKE THIS HAPPENS REGULARLY??

BUT AS SOON AS I SIT DOWN IN THE CINEMA I NEED TO PEE!! I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO NOT PEE FOR 3 HOURS EVER IN A CINEMA, I CAN JUST ABOUT MAKE IT TO THE END OF A 2 HOUR FILM

AND THEN EVERY SINGLE FILM I’VE WATCHED IN THE CINEMA, KNOW THAT I NEEDED TO PEE FOR HALF OF IT AT LEAST

(LBR WE ALL KNOW I BOUGHT DIET COKE BC I’M A FUCKING IDIOT NEVER AGAIN WILL DIET COKE AND ITS LAXATIVE CAFFEINE TOUCH THESE LIPS)

so anyway

I did not have a gr9 cinema experience bc of fucking english children behind me (I had 3 hours also to decide that english children are particularly the worst, their parents will never just tell them to shush)

3D glasses wearing also is just distracting, maybe bc I don’t wear glasses, or bc they’re just dark? but lbr they put it out 3d first so anyone who wants to watch it w/o getting spoiled will HAVE to watch it in 3d and spend more money UGH

saw aladdin trailer though and tbh I can’t believe ppl’s outrage was over will smith when that was the least bad thing about it come on??? not bc it’s bad otherwise but it looks dull, like all these remakes are uninteresting af

*takes a pee break now*

okay actual film!!!:

- even though he’s really not my fave and Idc like most the time I’m glad there was a clint barton arc bc otherwise it’s just ridic he’s been one of the avengers for yearssssss but hardly had a sl except for us finding out he’s married to linda cardellini lucky bastard

- carol’s haircut made me gayer   so gay

- (was natasha’s red and blonde hair supposed to be like a mess or was it supposed to be like ~style in 5 years?)

- and yeah one of the only things I knew about the film was there would be some gay   and I am glad of that

- but as soon as I saw the hulk in knitwear in my heart I knew the hulk should absolutely 100% be the most gay!!! especially as they drew a line under him and natasha thank god (mark ruffalo would love to be a gay hulk the woke bastard we all know it)

- so anyway headcanon hulk is dating that gay guy

- it’s practically canon to me tbqh they just couldn’t fit it in (or I’d have peed myself)

- Thor was me in a half-apocalypse - kill someone, get drunk, grow a beard

- Tilda Swinton was there being embarrassing... obvs I didn’t see the Doctor Strange film (did anyone???) so I didn’t have to SEE that but then they were like eh no one cares about the thing everyone was calling racist then right? and put that racism in an avengers film THANKS (and then a japanese man got randomly brutally killed NICE)

- I also haven’t seen GotG or Antman films or that Spiderman film lol so there’s so much to do w/ GotG scenes I don’t understand (my pee break was in their stuff) but I’m glad Nebula and Gamora were in this the most though the Gamora stuff was still a mess and the time travel stuff w/ that??? fucking confused by it BUT I liked the Antman stuff and the trailer for the new Spiderman film looks good so maybe I’ll watch those!

- is Gamora back to dead now what happened to Nebula should I have paid more attention or were these genuinely confusing things? Im it was 3 hours I can’t remember what happened to ppl I’m least interested in

- RIGHT the scene then I loved the most perhaps was Thor and his mother??? I wouldn’t have expected this Idk but when Frigga called him a failure... and it was like harsh lol but mother b like that - but then she was like bc we’re all failures ;; and Idk I find that a lot more comforting than someone telling me I’m not a failure... rather than the truth of ofc I’m a failure but we all are and always will fail at things in life! that was fucking philosophical

- cap said ass lol

- the bucky mentions being like shook were like aw wow

- but then also peggy I love her so much seeing her even was ;;

- but actually then did make me mad but not for everyone else’s reasons but bc I loved agent carter ffs!!! and seeing peggy and jarvis then was like   but we don’t know what happened between agent carter and those scenes ffs??? and how did howard go from being dominic cooper to john slattery in that time like wow disappointing lmfao

- benny cumbers had like one line and all I could think @ it was his american accent is shit

- and then the srs stuff~~~

- the natasha and clint scene was then the most emosh thing about the film for me then like a seriously underdeveloped rship but you knew they were gonna fight over which one of them got o do that and I think, as the character who had the least left to give, it was the right one

- and of course it was the other character’s time to go as well like I expected it earlier even I would’ve been annoyed if he didn’t die lol sorry not bc I h888 so much bc it’d be the right time?? you can’t just keep milking a character until he’s a useless caricature he needs to have an ending

- thor’s ending was vaguey I thought he might go after jane I guess natalie weren’t interested though

- but valkyrie god!!! king she is the future

- hulk had like no end so will he still be in it

- the closure for hulk should’ve been he’s gay okay hear me out he’s always had the inner turmoil he’s always had two sides at war w/ himself then he accepted both and is both okay actually that sounds bi hulk is bi

- so yeah then steve also had to have an ending and lbr I was expecting him to die so even if I shipped steve and bucky 5ever I never thought that’d happen even though that’s bc I thought he’d die lmfao (I guess he will now~ at some pojnt~) but the ending was nice, Im it ended on a nice music and it was a happy ending???

- (I’m still mad tbh at not enough fucking peggy and Im sharon carter just ceased to exist I guess)

- other than a couple of sad bits it was predictable and a happy ending and that’s exactly what I want ffs except w/ some unpredictableness obvs!!!

- sam!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will love captain america 5ever whomever he be!!!!

- so then my biggest issue was actually where was more captain marvel??? thank god they didn’t make carol str8 I guess at least she looked gayer, fucking baby steps????????

- and wakandas ffs duh where were they all sobs Im the wakandas and carol are THE most badass lmfao but okay

- like bless the carol seen like peter like but how will you get over there carol lol um she can literally just fly over there easily come the fuck on but then all these women had to help her and carol just looked all ok awk I could just fly over there but this is nice Im I won’t ruin the movie’s girl power scene thx yall

- but anyway they are all the fucking future ;; I wish there was more of that and more hints of what to come but it was an end to old heroes obviously

- the new heroes gotta be gay though and bi all over the place

- hulk is an lgbt icon, to me and me only, thank you and goodnight