#the narrator just chillin in the background

[write-nerdy-to-me]

tadius is a comedian

[sirtommyholland]

Soo... We built a TARDIS! || tom holland x female!reader

A/N: Inspiration strikes from weird places. For me it was a random video that showed up in my recommendations. I can’t put the link here since it messes up the tags apparently, but I’ll put it in the comments!

This takes place a few months into quarantine so they can actually have 3 months to build a whole actual TARDIS.

Summary: You and Tom get bored in quarantine and decide to build a TARDIS, because, why not?

Warning: A brief mention of ‘being stuck at home’. I added the warning thinking there might be some people having a hard time with this whole isolation thing and not wanting to read about it. 

Word Count: 1.8k

*tomholland2013 just started a live stream. Watch it before it ends!*

“Hi guys!” we see Tom sitting on a couch in his living room, in a loose t-shirt and hair messy.  He makes small talk for a while as he waits for more people to join, then he gets up and starts walking towards the garden door. “Soo it’s a beautiful summer day outside, sun is shining, and I wanted to take you on a little tour of our garden.” He flips the camera around after fumbling for a bit, and the view turns to his garden. “So over here you see our chicken coop. Predator is chillin’ in there, the other two are wandering around. And over here we have some pretty flowers that my even prettier girlfriend planted. And then - OH MY GOD GUYS! WHAT IS THAT?!” He suddenly turns his phone towards the other side of the garden in a quick motion, and comes into view… a life sized TARDIS?

“Woaahh!” he says feigning shock. “T- T- The TARDIS??!” He starts walking towards the blue police box, narrating at the same time. “Guys this is crazy there’s a TARDIS in my garden!” As he gets closer to the box, the door suddenly opens to reveal a young woman, sticking her arm outside and pointing a sonic screwdriver towars the camera.

“Don’t you dare come any closer you-“ she starts with a harsh tone “you- youuu…” she stumbles, not being able to find a word, and starts laughing, we can hear Tom laughing behind the camera too as he also breaks character.

“Sooo..” he starts, flipping the camera to front view and walking towards his girlfriend, wrapping an arm around her shoulders to bring her into frame, both of them smiling at the camera, the police box in the background. “We built a TARDIS!”

3 months earlier

You and Tom were cuddling on your shared bed, catching up on some Doctor Who. While being stuck at home wasn’t ideal, you were trying to make the best of it by spending at least a couple of hours a day together, just the two of you, making up for the times he was away for shooting. After dinner you had a few beers with the guys downstairs, then went back to your room for TV, cuddles, and more beer. You were on your third episode when Tom suddenly lifted his head from the pillows to look at you.

“We should build our own TARDIS.” He stated.

“Yeah, definetely.” You answered in a plain voice, thinking he was joking.

“No, I’m serious.” He continued. “We are stuck at home with nothing to do, I know some carpentry, and the guys would help. It would be fun for all of us.”

Maybe it was because you were both a little beyond tipsy, bit it seemed more and more a like a good idea as he kept on talking.

“Yeah, you are right.” You said after he finished talking and looked at you expectantly. “We should definetely build a TARDIS.”

———-

The next morning , when you were having breakfast with Tom, he lifted his head from his plate and looked at you.

“Can you believe we actually decided to build a TARDIS last night? We get crazy when we’re drunk.” He said, laughing a bit.

“I know right?” you said immediately. “Like, did we really think we could actually build a real, life sized TARDIS on our own? And for what, just to stand in some corner of the garden with no real purpose?”

You both laughed a little nervously with your heads down, then stopped when you looked at each other.

“We should do it.” You both said at the same time.

“Oh thank God!” he started laughing. “I was afraid you actually didn’t want to do it!”

“How could I not when it’s the best idea we’ve ever had!” you exclaimed, laughing along with him as you high fived.

It was gonna be a long few months.

———-

You ordered lots of wood to begin with, watching lots and lots of tutorials and videos when you waited for them to arrive. Apparently, a lot of people had the wonderful idea of building a TARDIS.  While Tom sat at the living room table with a bunch of papers, making calculations for measurements, you were documenting the whole thing with your camera.

“So Tommy the carpenter is here double checking the measurements” you explained off view as the camera showed Tom leaning over the papers, making him lift his his head to see the camera and give a huge smile with a wave.

“You know this would go faster if you helped too, right?” he teased.

“I could help, but you look really attractive right now, doing calculations and stuff, and I wanna enjoy the view longer.” You replied cheekily, making him smile.

“Well, why don’t you come over here and enjoy it closer?” he said, pushing his chair back and patting his legs.

You comply and sit on his lap sideways, wrapping an arm around his shoulders to be more comfortable, the other hand still holding the camera. You make a move to stop recording and put it on the table but Tom stops you, instead holding the camera towards the two of you and flipping the screen so you could see yourselves.

“What are we doing?” you ask him as you lean your cheek against his, looking at yourself at the tiny screen.

“Admiring the view.” He answers, smiling. He doesn’t look away from the camera as he slightly turns his head to kiss you on your cheek, making you smile. He tears his eyes from the camera as he fully turns to you, kissing you repeteadly on your face, moving his lips slightly with every kiss, making you close your eyes in bliss. He has arrived to the corner of your lips and placed a few kisses there when you turn your head and meet his lips. He kisses you slowly, gently, with no rush, making you feel the tingles all the way to your toes.

You pull away after a minute, resting your forehead against his after a final little peck.

“So are gonna put this in the video?” you ask, still smiling.

“Nope.” He answers, as he kisses the corner of your lips again. “This goes into our own archive.”

———-

It was a long and tiring process after the supplies arrived, but also the most fun you had with the boys. Harrison and Tuwaine were mostly observing and making comments as they watched you from the comfort of their chairs, and recording everything as you were helping Tom.

Tom was handling the most of the things, planning what goes where and marking the boards for the places to cut. And you and Harry helped with the cutting after he made the marks. Also, if you had to add, Tom was very shirtless at this point, and you had been staring at him for so long that you almost cut yourself with the mini electric saw you were holding.

“Hey Y/N!” Harrison yelled from his seat, holding the camera. “Stop ogling your boyfriend before you lose a few fingers! Or a hand!”

“I can ogle my boyfriend as long as I want to, Osterfield!” You yelled back, making Tom lean over to give you a little kiss, and making Harry mutter an “ew” under his breath.

———-

When the cutting process was over, you started the painting. Tom was currently recording you as you were painting one of the panels that was leaning against the fence.

“Soo we’re doing the painting right now as you can see.” He narrated. “Harrison decided to get off his arse and actually help for once.” He continued talking, pointing the camera towards his best friend.

“I have been cooking for you for weeks since you guys are so tired all the time!” 

———-

After the paints were dry and you were satisfied with the tone, all that was left to was assembling the whole thing. You decided to build it in a way that you could disassemble it and carry it anywhere in the house. So after assembling and hanging up the police box signs, and turning on the light, it was finally done! Your own TARDIS that had no other purpose other than sitting in your garden and looking pretty. Three months well spent, you would say.

“I’m gonna post this on Instagram.” Tom said as you stood next to each other in the garden, admiring the result of your work.

“You should post it on every website available.” You said, still in awe that you currently had an actual, life sized TARDIS sitting in your garden.

“Okay, I have an idea.” Tom said turning to you. “I’ll start a live stream, you’ll be hiding inside, I’ll just come out to the garden showing them the flowers or something. And then I’ll turn around and go like ‘Oh my God guys there is a TARDIS in my garden what the fuck?!’ and then you’ll jump out saying ‘SURPRISEEE!’ ”

“Ooor,” you said, thinking about the sonic screwdriver toy you had in your room. “I could be the Doctor.”

“You would be hot as the Doctor.” He says, leaning in to kiss you, making you wrap your arms around his neck as you kiss him back.

———-

“We built a TARDIS!” you said at the same time, you giving a thumbs up at the camera. The comments were rolling so fast that you couldn’t read any of them.

“I think you just broke the internet again.” You said, making him laugh. He flips the camera around to walk around the TARDIS, showing some details and saying that he was gonna post a video of the whole process later.

“So should we give a tour of the inside, m’love?” he says, turning at you.

“Of course.” You answer, and go over the door to open it with a flourish. “Ta-daaa!” you exclaim, holding out an arm as if you were welcoming him inside.

“Aaand that’s it.” He says as he shows the inside of the box, which is, for a fact, not bigger on the inside but just a tiny space.

“We’re thinking of covering all the walls with pictures and kinda turn this into a memory box.” You explain.

“Yeah, and we’ll sometimes put it in random places in the house, so like one of the guys could walk into his room and suddenly find a TARDIS in the middle of it.” Tom continues, making you gape at him, still not having a filter after everything he’s done for years.

“Tom, stop spoiling our pranks!”  

A/N: Sorry for the weird ending, just didn’t know how to wrap it up. Please give it a like/reblog if you enjoyed it! Also, the GIF isn’t mine.

MASTERLIST

[tfw-no-tennis]

mtmte liveblog issue 15

death awaits!

oh god the cover. I aint ready 

the cover of overlords open mouth w/rodimus floating inside or w/e,,,,the overlord mouth fixation continues i see

and of COURSE its by nick roche. of course

oh god the tension and dread in the first page, as we get overlords sinister promise to murder everyone, starting with rewind, and then seeing chromedome rush over to open the door, and knowing that 30 minutes have passed already...

that full page spread of everyone vs overlord is amazing

also I always thought that ambulon was trying to kick overlord but now that I look closer he’s actually jumping away from overlord, having just crashed one of those hover...thingys....into him...which is honestly cool as hell. also I'm never over the fact that ambulon kinda looks like he’s smiling here, just having a grand ole time as overlord tries his best to murder everyone

and chromedome just seeing this and saying ‘rewind?’ is fucking killing me thanks

PIPES NO DONT DO THIS. YOURE JUST RUBBING SALT IN THE WOUND. PLEASE don't talk about how much fun you're having on your wacky space adventure oh god, that’s just asking to be murdered,

GOD AND THERE HE GOES, DRIVING TO HIS DOOM. PIPES NO

AUGHHHHHHHHHH AND THERES OVERLORD WITH HIS GIANT FOOT. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

PIIIIIPES ;_; 

his messed up goodbye thoughts are brutal...plus the final shot of him laying all busted up....god :( 

that guy seriously had some awful luck this trip. rip lil guy

BUT he sounded the alarm!!! so good for him!! that's a pretty amazing final act right there

oh my god I forgot abt this scene where rewind is like ‘so brainstorm why is my husband saying your name in his sleep :))))’ and brainstorm is like ‘haha idk its certainly not because we’re working on a secret project together, so jot that down!’ lmao brainstorm....

also dw rewind brainstorm is not fucking ur husband, just look at his evidentially extensive collection of perceptor-style microscopes...my man is microscopesexual 

I forgot abt the metabomb omfg

‘some of my favorite words are monosyllabic’ rodimus ily, himbo of my heart,

fort max :( rung :( 

oughhghghg I forgot abt the scene of tailgate making cyclonus a new horn ;_; and then cyclonus materializes menacingly bc tg dared to volunteer their room for movie night hvbfshdjkfbaskj cyclonus anti-social icon

AUGHHHH GOD THE PANEL OF RATCHET TALKING ON THE COMMS AND OVERLORD IS JUST, RIGHT BEHIND HIM, WITH HIS BIG STUPID LIPS, OH MY GOD

what the fuck, is drift a flying car??? hello??? what the hell????

seriously he’s got like, rockets and shit, what the fuck

anyways, the entire exchange b/w ratchet and drift here kills me, for multiple reasons.... ‘my faith and my sword’ lmao love it. and then ratchet refusing to leave drift and calling him his friend ;_; aughhh

rodimus w/the squad like ‘lets go gays!!!’ 

also I guess cosmos WAS on the lost light lol, totally didn't remember that, I'm guessing he left at some point to go be in the other series lmao 

I'm sorry but ‘amazing. you speak entirely in name’ is so fucking funny, but also like stfu overlord you're not allowed to be funny

MAGNUSSSSSSSS

now I'm confusing myself lmao, rodimus DID know abt overlord, didn't he??? wasn't that the whole thing???? I don't remember if he was involved w/the whole mnemosurgery plan but he at least knew that overlord was there...but we haven't been told that in-story yet so now I'm questioning that lmao

oh god I forgot that overlord almost kills magnus, jeeeeesus. good thing he’s a russian nesting doll otherwise he probably would've died fr 

also damn that's gotta be scary for everyone else, bc magnus is The Big Guy, and a renown fighter...plus drift got all fucked up...yall are in for a bad time 

tailgate gettin his panic on I see

swerve w/the meta narration lmao 

cyclonus ily sm.......

rodimus charging at overlord....ohhh my boy not your best idea

cd and rewind both saying ‘I thought you were dead!’ HHHHHHHH I'm destroyed fuck it all

rodimus (inadvertently) saving the day by saying ‘til all are one’...iconic!!

FORT MAX IS HEREEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

drift just casually chillin w/no legs

chromedome going into extreme detail about all the mnemosurgery he’s been doing on overlord for WEEKS while rewind is Right There....my dude.

this issue has a LOT of completely white backgrounds but I cant even rlly blame milne bc this seems like more drawing work than usual

oh god cd don't say ‘we’ll finish this conversation later’ at a time like this, that’s never a good idea,

rewind no don't do it :( :( :( 

that panel of cd’s arm getting cut off...AUGHHH

GODDDDDDD IM FUCKING CRYING. AUGHHHHHHHHHHH I.....

so incredibly fucked that cd does what’s best for rewind by blowing the pod up....hhhhh god 

and then that last panel of cd laying on the ground....fucking destroy me!!!!!!!!

also I love that at the beginning of the issue we see whirl with the missile launcher thing, and that’s what cd uses at the end here....good bookends. jro is really great about putting stuff in the story that just seems like innocuous filler/fun character building but turns out to ALSO be plot relevant later

HOLY SHIT I forgot about the cast page with the big red X’s thru the dead people’s profiles....jesus christ 

AUGH this issue was a rollercoaster, phew...and the emotionally devastating conclusion to this arc is still yet to come! 

I will say that it’s super interesting looking back on this, in the sense that rewind & chromedome are introduced as the first ever gay tf couple, and a few issues after we get told this explicitly, rewind is killed. this doesn't really end up being an issue representation-wise bc literally everyone is gay and there are a bunch of other significant gay characters/relationships later on, AND rewind comes back later 

but still! it’s interesting to think about how, at the time this came out, the phrase/concept ‘bury your gays’ wasn't really something that was talked about a lot (or like, it was, but not as often as nowadays, and not really under the term ‘bury your gays’ iirc), but at the time of publication this would have fallen under that trope (though rewind coming back later negates it imo). I think it would've been tough for this story to come out nowadays due to the backlash that would've occurred from rewind’s initial death (it also makes me wonder if there was any backlash when this DID come out) 

to be clear, this isn't a writing criticism - in fact, the reason this is able to work at all is because of the crazy amount of representation mtmte has. it’s like, youre able to kill off gay characters without it being ‘bury your gays’ if literally all your characters are gay by default, and there are a bunch of significant gay relationships happening - technically speaking, any death in mtmte is bury your gays lmao 

this is a completely disjointed rant but my point is like, if this issue came out in 2020 people would probably be pretty put off by rewind dying (understandably), but in the context of the series as a whole I don't consider this to be bad writing/bad representation/bury your gays 

and like, WERE people really mad about this in 2013? I am curious now, bc I would definitely feel kinda betrayed if I didn't know all the stuff that happens later 

but its pretty nice, because now I'm free to enjoy the writing and be emotionally devastated by rewinds death in a normal way, and not a ‘I'm angry at the writers for killing off one of the only gay characters’ kinda way

anyways I'm tired as hell so I'm going to bed, ill continue the emotional devastation later, phew

[scratchybeardsweetmouth]

yeah not the greatest with timing in capping lol! it’ll be better when gifs come out of the last watch documentary. but sharing a few anyway :) 1st photo is david nutter and iain glen on the day the pyre scene was filmed. 2nd is bernie caulfield and iain discussing the death of jorah and it leading to eventual demise of dany. 3rd is sarah gower, prosthetics designer who was having a video-call with her daughter, after being weeks apart. 4th is at the table read with peter dinklage, nikolaj coster waldau, bryan cogman and iain 5th is emilia being very early for filming in iceland and doing a silly cute step 6th is bernie emotional on thrones ending and wanting to say goodbye to each and every one if possible and telling them she loves them 7th is vladimir furdik just chillin as night king. his background story about getting into show business or as stunt coordinator is touching btw. 8th is emilia wearing the wig for the very last time 9th is emilia facing iain as jorah’s death is being narrated 10th is just a different shot of the 4 men once again at the table read 11th below is sarah gower reuniting with her daughter after the hellish 11-week night shoots 12th below is bernie taking a moment in iceland 13th is david nutter overlooking the shoot of the farewell/pyre scene

[lucky-clover-gazette]

season 4 first watch impressions

under the cut are my thoughts and my new overall series episode ranking (spoilers)

ep1 - uss callister

- by far my favorite of the season

- a perfect blend of comedy and tragedy 

- i would have loved this as a full movie

- honestly nanette is amazing, like she owns her smarts and sexuality and never gives up i love her

- male coder: “it won’t work, i’ve already tried”

nanette: “well i haven’t” HELL YEAH

- i honestly loved all the ‘crew’ characters, even the gym rat boss

- i especially enjoyed the speech from the boss to robert, where he’s like ‘i acknowledge that i was an ass, but dude, YOU PUSHED MY SON OUT AN AIRLOCK’

- also the fuckin casual dialogue between the monster and bad guy and the crew

- OHHH BOY AND THE FACT THAT ROBERT’S GONNA ROT TO DEATH IN HIS APARTMENT BECAUSE HE PUT ‘DO NOT DISTURB’ ON HIS APARTMENT DOOR, HELL YEAH

- ‘oh my fuck’ 

- 10/10, watch it now

ep2 - arkangel

- preface: the kid playing young owen teague and his family were actually really close with my family when he and my little sister were kids. it was goddamn surreal to see that lil guy talking about porn when i remember him being, like, eight. but nice going nick, keep kicking ass lil dude

- okay so this episode was... conflicting 

- the opener made sense, but in some ways i thought it was TOO obvious and indicative of the episode’s message and tone. i can’t help but wonder if it would have been better just starting like five minutes in

- her father looked like counselor healy from orange is the new black, so that was distracting

- okay jesus christ lady, i get that losing your kid is scary, but implanting her with ‘optional’ optic spying and censoring software is such a massive violation of her privacy. like, it’s one thing when she’s tiny, but how the hell are you going to feel okay with yourself as a parent when she’s an adolescent? 

- the blocking especially pissed me off. that’s so fucking dangerous. either this woman is just very stupid, or very desperate

- at least the narrative established that it kind of was the latter. when her father gets sick, the mother has to care both for both her father and her child. that’s a lot. but still not an excuse for such mental violation of a quickly-growing human being

- young edgelord and sara are fucking adorable

- sara’s self-harm and rage issues are not, however,, and i’m glad that her mother took her head out of her ass and ditched the tablet

- is it just me or is fifteen-year-old sara kind of an idiot? like i get it she’s grunge and artsy, and i loved her giving a treat to the dog, but she seems to be almost hanging out with owen teague because he deals, and not despite it. like i get that i’m supposed to buy that their romance has kind of a subtext of him ‘teaching’ her about things, but like the underage sex and coke are kinda yikes. i feel like he definitely should have had more restraint, and although what the mother does is royally fucked, he and sara are also both to blame

- all right, so the smoothie motif. what a great narrative tool. the miscarriage pill was the most clever part of the episode. sara’s reaction was very well-acted, and the standoff between her and her mother was intense as hell

- i liked that sara’s rage issues remained into adolescence. i was glad that the tablet got wreckt, but i can’t help but wonder if it would have been more effective to have her rage-smash it prior to her mother coming come, leaving the pieces for her to find. the actual beating up of the mother with the tablet seemed to literal, too much sinking in the message. there were moments in crocodile and hang the dj that were the same way. 

- the ending, with sara hitchhiking in some stranger’s truck, was very smart. the ambiguity of a young girl, on her own, hopping in some stranger’s vehicle, is powerful without much explanation. any parent would be horrified by this; that’s what i don’t think we actually needed to see the mother screaming sara’s name and bleeding to understand the horror of losing a child to the unknown

- this one definitely gives me the most complicated feelings of the season; on one hand, it had a lot of great devices going for it. on the other hand, it was over-written and at times trying too hard to be ‘black mirror.’ the grey morality and ambiguous ending reminded me of a literary short story, which i love in my TV.

- 7/10, watch it if you liked most black mirror episodes that weren’t san junipero

ep3 - crocodile

- ah yes, the ‘i watch black mirror to be fuckin ashamed of humanity’ episode

- idk man, i liked it. it was bleak, and fucked up, but i’m all about that downward spiral. i liked that the story kind of began in three different places and then tied together. just as i had with ‘hated in the nation,’ i love police procedural stuff

- also damn, it was freaky as hell to see the straight-laced white blonde soccer-mom type being a despicable murdering sociopath!!! like, gotta go kill an entire family of POC, including a goddamn INFANT, and then see my kid’s show, that’s great. i was so happy when she got what she deserved. 

- all right, so i had one MAJOR PROBLEM with this episode: why the fuck did they make the son blind? the guinea pig twist was so GOOD, and mia fuckin killed a BABY, they didn’t need to further modify that!!! this is another example of black mirror doing just a tad more than it needs to make the audience feel horrible. 

- okay black mirror, we get it, that song is your thing, but can you maybe slide it in as a less glaring easter egg? 

- 8/10, but only if you’re into dark shit and bad endings

ep4 - hang the dj

- not nearly gay enough

- seriously, the entire episode i was unable to focus on the main characters because i kept looking around this Tinder-esque 20′s dating paradise and saw ZERO GAY OR LESBIAN COUPLES. i’m so surprised by this, especially after ‘san junipero.’ at first i was like, maybe this is like society’s way of encouraging procreation because of population decline, but that wasn’t the twist at all. no reason for nearly everyone to be hetero

- THAT BEING SAID, i see you. bi amy. even before the girl partner, i was aware that she used ‘they/them’ pronouns when referring to hypothetical partners. i just wish we could have seen more gay couples in the background (for example, at the choosing ceremony thing, it coulda been two dudes of something)

- uh okay, so everyone loved this episode, and it was okay. some of the banter and jokes were funny and relatable, but honestly, this wasn’t *that* good. the plot wasn’t super original (reminded me a lot of ep1 of hulu’s ‘dimension 404′) and the execution was kind of suuuuuuper basic. like, black suited Enforcers with tasers? a massive matrix wall? the whole thing seemed so predictable and just... basic as hell. 

- but shit man, amy was cool. loved that character in a vacuum. 

- honestly if someone could explain the reasons for loving this episode, i’d like to hear them. because i just don’t get it, man. maybe it’s because i’m gay, or young, or single, or unexperienced... but i just wasn’t very impressed

- 6/10, not even fuckin close to ‘san junipero’ lmao 

ep5 - metalhead

- black and white seemed sort of pretentious, not gonna lie. i think i would have preferred the dirty palette of ‘white bear’ post-apocalypse

- i am all for these female protagonists this season. hell yeah

- soo those corpses in the bed were heavy, but i actually kind of wish we got to see more of that? like, the remains of humanity after the dogs attacked? also, more small explanations for the dogs’ attack would have been interesting

- loved the chase and fight scenes. i can see how they’d be boring, but the moments of conflict between man v. machine were fucking awesome

- K N I F E  D O G

- anyone else get serious farenheit 451 vibes?

- the teddy bear thing was dumb. i don’t think we needed to see what was inside the warehouse. yet another time black mirror threw in just a little more than we needed

- okay so belle keeps alluding to the fact that she has safe family members out there somewhere, so am i to believe that there is some place where humans are safe from dogs? if so, why the actual fuck did she leave? i can’t believe it was just because of fuckin teddy bears

- alllllll the david lynch vibes

- 7/10, but you gotta actually pay attention to the visual details to get the best parts

ep6 - black museum

- BOOOOYYYYYYY! this entire episode i waited for the fuckin shoe to drop and then SHE! DID! THAT!

- the amount of callbacks to previous episodes was,, nice,, but also it was kind of annoying??? and unnecessary? 

- the museum owner was reaaaaaalllly annoying, which is think was intentional. what a fuckin sleaze. in comparison, i thought that jon hamm in ‘white christmas’ was still a somewhat charismatic narrator, but this dude was just yikes

- so, the first story was... kind of a lazy reach? idk, it just felt kinda like a parody of black mirror itself. i get the entire ‘mad science’ vibe they were trying to evoke, but as opposed to the next story, this one had very little to say about human nature. black mirror works its best when it tells stories that use technology as a way to analyze humanity; this one really didn’t (we all already know we’ve got weird kinks)

- the second story was better, but, like, SUPER heartbreaking. poor carrie. i don’t think her husband should have done The Thing at all, honestly, I don’t believe that he couldn’t have seen what happened next coming. it’s like the arkangel mom again; either these characters are just SUPER present-oriented, or just fuckin dumb

- the most tragic moment in this season was ‘monkey needs a hug.’ i felt nauseous 

- okay, now for THE TWIST! the accent drop was a great touch, and i loved that she was poisoning him the entire time. also fuck white men and supremacists, and fuck the museum dude for enabling them. 

- the ending was great. i liked that her mom was chillin with her. the building blowing up was very tarantino. loved her a lot

- 8.5/10, boring in the beginning but the end is worth it 

and now.. 

BLACK MIRROR EPISODES RANKED (AS OF SEASON 4)

1. U.S.S. Callister

2. Nosedive

3. Hated in the Nation

4. San Junipero

5. Fifteen Million Merits

6. Be Right Back

7. White Bear

8. White Christmas

9. Black Museum

10. Crocodile

11. Arkangel

12. Metalhead

13. Hang the DJ

14. Playtest

15. The Entire History of You

16. Men Against Fire

17. Shut Up and Dance

18. The National Anthem

19. The Waldo Moment

[evelyntransitions-blog]

Day 3ish

            Yesterday was full of unexpected surprises. It started off with school, and I presumed that we’d start picking topics for our argumentative essay that’s coming up and start writing. Instead I was met with the lovely surprise of movie day. I never expected to get a “random” movie day in college, but it happened. We got to watch a video on fracking and were told to take notes on the narrators arguments and if they were good or not good and do an online journal assignment. This was much easier than starting an essay.           After school I decided to spend more time Pokemon hunting while I still had free time, before I got into it however I went home to clean my room, make lunch/dinner and change over my laundry. Bam! A wild new surprise appeared. My mom had went out of her way to clean my room, do my laundry and cook food, left by sticky notes with smile faces on them. She received a promt “THANK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU” later that day.            The Pokemon hunting/raiding adventure that I partook on was generally the same as always, hatch some eggs, look for good Pokemon that are examined with the breathtaking and stat exceeding traits and meet up with the raid group. The good news was that I was able to evolve my Chansey into a Blissey after getting enough rare candies, and also managed to get a Bannet with good stats that I named “Cheshire” because of the Cheshire Cat grin from Lewis Carolls Alice in Wonderland.            The bad news took form in another unexpected surprise; one of the raiders in my group, a middle aged mom had asked why my profile pic for the raid chat was female and why I had (what’s looked at in Murica’ as) a girls name (Evelyn). The middle aged mom stated something along the lines of it being unfair and not very nice, due to it being misleading. With some of the members of our raid group staring at me I blurted out without thinking “Oh i’m transitioning to female.” There was a short awkward silence followed by the mom saying “Oh that makes it a little bit better.” this was followed with a conversation of me trying to justify having a beard (i’m dressing up as Jesus for halloween and using the humour of the costume to bypass the dysphoria of the beard itself. Being able to laugh at yourself seems to make things easier, plus might as well give my beard a going away party) and her saying something like “Yeah a beard wouldn’t work well with a girl.” I was both flattered by her gendering me correctly, but also a little annoyed because some girls out there may like beards. If a person wants to identify as female, or are just born cis female and they want to grow a beard, that’s cool, if it makes them happy and they present it with confidence, that action within itself is attractive in it’s own right. Nevertheless she’s entitled to her opinion *shrugs*, I can’t change what she finds attractive, though I wish she wasn’t so nosey.                After the raid was done I promptly drove back home, but before I exited the parking lot we were in she said goodbye Evelyn, which may seem normal, but the group itself hardly refers to anyone by their names directly, only to talk about how great or silly someone is, it’s this weird formality that just kind developed. So her saying my name directly may have been a polite gesture, i’d hope so, either way not everyone in the county knows me by Evelyn and for some reason i’ve got a reputation here because of all the silly shit I do, so hopefully this doesn’t come back to bite me.       When I got home I got a text from my best friend with plans to hangout late overnight, I told him that i’d be taking a short nap and he could just call me. I set an alarm just in case as a fail-safe. Furthermore I took the dankest mini nap of my life, my cool ass cat chillin’ up by my arms, had chillhop playing in the background, all the good shit. I woke before the alarm went off about an hour and a half later and turned my alarm off and sat at the computer, just taking in the music and just letting it further fill the room and deciding to leave it on. The peace was interrupted by my parents arguing about my Dad working too many hours at his job. Now, my parents are in excellent finical standing with more money than the bills, while they’re just getting done paying off their debt.  *THIS PART DOESN’T HAVE TO DO WITH MY DAY BUT PROVIDES SOME BACKGROUND AS TO MY SITUATION WITH MY PARENTS*

          The problem more lies with two major things. Supporting me to some extent living here, which is one of the reasons i’m moving. The other thing lies in my Dad’s past where as a child he was put in a not so good situation ( I won’t say what out of respect for his personal privacy), and had to work his ass off just to get away from his own father and make something of himself. He tries to cope with this by making himself seem stronger than he is, flaunting his ego and making connections with people in high places. By the very nature of his personality and hard work ethic this has led him to the top of the food chain so to speak. This has also led to him not being able to deal with me, a person who takes shit personally and has this weird uncontrollable fear of doing new things, which is just stated as part of my anxiety. If I do things i’ll get distracted or make dumb mistakes at best and at worst will avoid doing them at all. This is not to be confused with laziness or procrastination, it’s ABOSLUTE FEAR. He’s hated my inability to be coherent in the past, maybe out of concern for me and/or feeling like he’s not in control of situations presented to him. This has led to a lot of yelling from him, and by default over time the indoctrination of my mom yelling alongside him (she had a very similar background but without the ego). This in the past had me being a cross between manipulative shithead who lied all the time to get away from bullshit, and an avoidant recluse who spent all their time playing video games. I’m now in the future and trying to do everything possible to get my lack on track between school, getting a promotion, transitioning (it’s sort of like working 2 jobs because I work in two departments) doing volunteer work, and now moving out.         With all this in mind, they got into it over my Dad working too many hours and not taking care of himself. This isn’t all due to him but also his employer who I won’t state the name of not respecting him despite him busting his ass for the company. My mom being both lonely over me moving out and not being home very much due to wanting to escape from being inside to combat depression and also not feel trapped due to some mental things that I won’t explain here and my Dad working all the time. She got on my Dad’s case about him working too much and he jumped to the defensive being the breadwinner (though my mom makes a good amount of money too, and I also pay for rent, insurance and most of my food).             *THIS PART IS BACK TO MY DAY*

                  The argument my parents had start as a “WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?!” argument in reguards to my Dad’s job and lead to a “I’M NOT MAD AT YOU, I JUST FEEL HELPLESS BUT I’M GOING TO EXPLAIN IT THROUGH ANGER.” argument. In short my mom just wanted to spend time with him and quit his job or do something else and he felt hopeless because all he knows about coping with anything is through work (with the occasional party). I believe the adult fear of having to go back to having less is what got him the most, that he regressing being on the bottom and starting with nothing scared him so much that it led to his outlandish anger. The fear of not being in control of a situation being a bonus. (This also happens outside of financial situations and just normal situations as well. Even ones that have nothing to do with my success or the success of him or mom.) The argument itself of just dissolved into this passive angry stew and then there was silence. I got a message about ten minutes later from my best friend that he arrived and I told him to just come to the door, that if I answered things might get hairy. Having to deal with many of these scenarios before, he did just that and we got ready to leave. Before I left I told my Mom that I loved her and asked her if anything was wrong (it obviously was, but I was wanting to see if she needed to talk). She lied and said it was fine and waved goodbye. After this me and my best friend headed off into the night.