#the nameless ladies of arthurian literature

[talesfromtheenchantedforest]

ok since most ladies in arthurian literature don’t get names, and Lynete gets TWO, one of which is the iconic Damosel Savage, I propose all the other damosels get names off the list of ship names from the english royal navy, but only, like, the dope ones or the funny ones, not the lame ones.

by this system we could have a Damosel Malice, a Damosel Nimrod, and a Damosel Gay Bruiser, just sayin

[cimness]

Four Queens Find Lancelot Sleeping

A few weeks ago I was delighted when Pinterest randomly suggested this image for me:

(This painting is “Four Queens Find Lancelot Sleeping”, by Frank Cadogan Cowper.)

Not because I’m a particular fan of Cowper, but because of the evocative title and scene. This scenario was unfamiliar to me, and after tweeting that RuPaul’s Drag Race should do some reconstructions of this tableau, I decided to draw something based on it. 

So I was initially operating under the assumption that these queens were on an innocent forest stroll when they came upon Lancelot sleeping and that the above scene captured the moment when they became alarmed because he failed to wake up in response to normal speech. That’s also the assumption my pal Lilah was under when she remarked that the queens in my first (bad) sketch attempt looked oddly unconcerned.

Playing with the idea of how to visually demonstrate their concern, the next day I came up with this:

- which is still my favorite of this whole saga in spite of the fact that, I’m ashamed to say, the queen in purple is wearing a late 14th century hat with an early 14th century gown and the others  are dressed out of the 11th and 12th centuries (apart from the cell phones... and the fact that Lancelot’s armor is more Monty Python than any of the centuries in question).

Anyway, only then did I read about the whole thing on Wikipedia. And it turns out that this episode is taken from the Vulgate cycle via Malory’s Le Morte d’Arthur, and consists of Morgan le Fay, another recurring Arthurian-and-early-medieval-romance character Queen Sebile (elsewhere in literature Morgan’s lover), and two (or, in the Vulgate cycle, one, because apparently Malory preferred the number four?) nameless other enchantress-queens who find Lancelot having a nap in the forest, admire his beauty and get into an argument about which of them is most deserving of being his lover, and then kidnap him, take him back to ‘their’ castle, and wake him up to demand he choose one of them or stay imprisoned there until death in an extremely fucked-up twist on the Judgment of Paris.  Yikes. There’s a lot of tiresome women=magic=evil here, and it all seemed a bit dubious to me, especially if they were supposed to be the second through fifth most powerful sorceresses in the world.

But during my Wikipedia spiral, I also read about a peculiar outlier among surviving early medieval works in the Lancelot fandom - unusual because it is one of the few Lancelot works that doesn’t contain his adulterous love for Guinevere. Lanzelet is a late 12th century poem in which, rather than having an affair with the queen, Lancelot marries four different women consecutively (even though the others are all still alive). All the marriages are arguably opportunistic, or at least circumstantial, as they take place immediately after he kills the women’s male guardians in battle, and enables him to assume their titles and holdings (although he does settle down happily ever after in the end after an enchanted coat reveals his third wife to be the only perfectly faithful lady at the court of the Queen of Fairy). Perhaps this sequential polygamy reflects a cultural practice that was accepted in some time and place... but how did the ladies feel about it? Therefore...

Four tribal queens in Celtic tartan fabrics, having just stumbled on Lancelot in an enchanted sleep and all said “Wait a minute, that’s my long-vanished husband!” The one on the right is mostly surprised, the two in the middle are inclined to be a bit resentful, while the one on the left is incredibly amused. (Lancelot, on the other hand, is dressed for entirely the wrong period... mainly because I forgot to pay attention to what I was doing when I drew his clothes.)

[buriedundertherainbow-blog]

DIVINE GATE, TELL ME WHAT DID LOKI DO TO YOU TO LOOK LIKE THIS?! (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

   Before we start, let me say this: “I AM A TRUE MASOCHIST”, so don’t blame for whatever happens from now on for it ain’t worth it. 三⊂( っ⌒◡| Some time ago, week or two to be more precise, I have set myself on an impossible anime challenge. Maybe it’s not as tedious as rolling that goddamn rock up the hill, but still will consume a lot of my time and energy. Ekchem, anyways… I have decided to watch each, and every anime produced since Winter Season 2015/2016 till now and review them all, oh boi! ゞ◎Д◎ヾ

   First up for the task is Divine Gate, which I thankfully, bless my stupid ideas, watched at work while no one was paying attention. (̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)̄ The creation of Studio Pierrot, which has some quite big fishes swimming in their garden pond, such as Bleach, Naruto or Tokyo Ghoul as well as one of my all time favourites Greatoooh Teacheruu Onizuka!!!! (┌ﾟдﾟ)┌ (┌ﾟдﾟ)┌ (┌ﾟдﾟ)┌ (┌ﾟдﾟ)┌ has decided to make an anime out of a game, and as I have previously discussed while reviewing Caligula it is never easy. Once again, I did not play the game and I’m pretty sure that after watching this anime I don’t feel like playing it even more. （◎ー◎；）

T H E  P L O T 【 TV 】    -o(.￣  )

   Hmm… (ʃ⌣́,⌣́ƪ) What is the actual point that this story? I have absolutely no f**king clue. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Zero, empty, brain dead, error, you name it. It generally resolves around the idea that there is some miraculous entity or object known as Divine Gate and that only those, at least according to one annoying little twat in XVIII century grade school uniform, who have suffered great despair have right to attain it. The Gate is supposed to give its’ conqueror an immense power and right to shape the reality according to their whim. (p〒д〒q) While, all that sounds sweet and sugar, it’s pretty much bullshitu.

   The story, I presume, was supposed to keep the viewers at the edges of their seats watching the main characters struggle with unjust and cruel word, until finally while standing just ONE TINY STEP away from fulfilling their desires, to see the— ┏( ゜)ਊ゜)┛Unfortunately, the delivery was as flat as Krul Tepes’s chest. F**ck, now my eyes are bleeding, halp. ( ´༎ຶㅂ༎ຶ`) Hence, not only the final moral, which is probably something like “no one has right to shape other people’s life for them”, doesn’t land, but also half of the story itself makes no sense in correspondence to it.

   Sigh. On top of all that, those who have the right to seek the gate, known as “Adapters” have developed superhuman abilities (supposedly at birth, but it doesn’t look to be the case with Aoto, or I am an idiot ∑（｡･Д･｡）??? – both could be true) and although they can use them without any device, but at the same time, they need objects called “Drivers” in other to shape them. …..φ(〃∇〃 ))) And when I say they can use their powers without a device, I am pretty much referring to Aoto, because if I understood correctly freaking GODS are USELESS without it. 凸ಠ益ಠ)凸 Can someone please explain what the funk is happening here?! Even Mortal Kombat makes more sense than this show.

T H E  C H A R A C T E R S 【 TV 】    -o(.￣  )

   I am one of those fangirls, that always find their own favourite character in each series, welp guess what? Not today Satan, not today. (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻ The characters were flat, one dimensional and pretty much boring from tip of their heads to their toes. In Divine Gate we follow three main teenage characters, what were their names again? Σ(‘◉⌓◉’) Well, I only remember Aoto. There was also this “overly moral oblivious kid” and “spoiled female character whose biggest issue was that one friend who left her”, so let’s just skip them! ヽ( ˘ω˘ )ゝ

   I will admit, however, that I quite enjoyed the toxic relationship and interactions between two brothers, Aoto and hmmm… ( *´罒`* ) His name sounded similar, hmm... (*≧▽≦) Whatever, let’s call him “emo Aoto”! Anyways, the tension between two brothers, with one being overprotective to the point that he’s willing to sacrifice almost everything to protect his ototo without noticing how harmful that is to his secreted little brother and another becoming emo and twisted to the point that he believes death to be their only salvation, is slightly fascinating. Although, both are somewhat extreme in their own characteristics, at least something was finally happening! Щ(･｀ω´･Щ)

    As a desert in this meaningless dinner we have almighty and famous Knights of Round, but round what? Eyeball, planet, ass maybe?! （ ಠωಠ） Let me name them all first before we go, hmmm… I don’t know, nope, neither… ( ﾟｰﾟ) Something is coming to me, but nope, still nothing. The old guy is a butler, right? Who is that chick? Hi there, nameless lady. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Wanna have a drink with me? I’m pretty sure he was called... Σ(-᷅_-᷄๑) Still nothing. Is this guy mafia? OH, LANCELOT! ✧٩(ˊωˋ*)و✧ Okay fine, I admit I knew Gawain and Mordred as well, but the point which I was trying to make, was that most of the characters are easy to forget and made no contribution to the series WHAT-SO-EVER. I know, I know, that they were supposed to be a background and reasoning behind Arthur’s choice, but couldn’t it be made more like this:

   I’m sure their deaths will contribute as much to the story anyways, so just turn them in dots and kill with one Madara blow and secondary characters can still mourn their loss. ¯\(◉‿◉)/¯

T H E  R E F E R E N C E S 【 TV 】    -o(.￣  )

   Finally, we have reached my main point of this God-forbit-lengthy essay, which are references to characters of Mythology and literature. We have infamous Knights of Round, ‎(ﾉಥ益ಥ）ﾉ ┻━┻ please lemme give you a table to fix this shittu, as well as Nordic Gods with Loki up the front and a Dragon, but what for? ¯\_(⊙︿⊙)_/¯

   I have nothing against using elements of culture, history or literature in anime, for instance look at Bungou Stray Dogs, that one is priceless, but Divine Gate… Kill me, please.八(＾□＾*) Leave alone the fact, that Merlin and other Arthurian Legends related movies are my blessed childhood memories and I am big fan of latest creation of this sort, namely Legend of the Sword, but FFS STOP FORGETTING THE GODDAMN TABLE, WITHOUT IT MAKES NO SENSE! IT COULD BE KINGTHS OF ROUND BOOBS, FOR ALL THAT I CARE!! ( • )( • )ԅ(‾⌣‾ԅ) AND I’M LINGUIST, DAMNIT, THIS MISTAKE HURTS ME ON A SPIRITUAL LEVEL!! (╬ﾟ◥益◤ﾟ) [deep breathing] But did you also have to make “that” out of my beautiful Loki?!!

S C O R E S 【 TV 】    -o(.￣  )

ART: ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

PLOT: ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

CHARACTERS: ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

SOUNDTRACKT: ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

GENRE REALISATION: ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

TOTAL POINTS: ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

F I N A L  T H O U G H T S 【 TV 】    -o(.￣  )

    Pardon, my loss of temper in previous paragraph. Thankfully, I am all calm and collected now. However, I must say that watching this anime at work was the greatest idea I have ever had. Why, you might wonder. Because otherwise I would have regretted wasting my free time on this piece of shi—. (;ﾞ°´ω°´) To sum it all up, the references were used poorly and painfully, plot made little sense and the characters were either flat or completely useless, hence came my score of only 3/10 stars. How low you have fallen Loki, how low… ｡･ﾟヾ(✦థ ｪ థ)ﾉ｡ﾟ･｡

Thanks for reading! ｍ（｡≧ _ ≦｡）ｍ