#the music was too loud and it was a terrible environment for both chatting and for meeting new people

[evegwood]

I'm looking forward to Thought Bubble! It's been a while since I went so I'm wondering if anything's changed about the event, there's four halls now?

honestly i think the vibes are as great as always, i don't think much has changed but in a good way! this is the first year with four halls (there's only been three the last few years that it's been in harrogate) but there'll also be two entrances to help funnel people through

i'm going to assume this second ask is also from you so i can just combine them into one post:

Got any tips for visiting and browsing through Thought Bubble? I'm morbidly curious about the after party at the nearby pub they're advertising but also getting cold feet about it.

if you're crazy like me, i highly recommend going through the exhibitor list beforehand and browsing people's websites/shops to see if there's anyone you definitely definitely want to check out. when i attended as a visitor for the first time i did this and it really helped structure my weekend bc i wasn't just wandering aimlessly, i had people i Wanted to stop and see.

but also give every table a look! you never know what you're going to find, a really nondescript table or unexpected comic could be totally up your alley so don't just beeline for the most eye-catching tables.

i've seen several people do this over the years and it's so smart; use that map that they give you at the entrance and circle tables you want to come back to! it's totally normal for folks to do a "shopping list" circle of the con and then come back to buy stuff later, but that's easier to do when you actually know what table you're looking for. make a note of why you're going back to that table too to jog your memory.

i hate the afterparty lmfao it sucks i never go

[nyrator]

another long vent post about depression/anxiety

extremely depressed tonight

first made the mistake of driving myself to the grocery store at 6pm, first I had to try scraping the ice off the windshield with nothing but a broom and bare hands, then driving itself was nightmareish, the car feels like a death trap to me, very loose and sloppy compared to my last car, so loud and uncomfortable with no audible music to calm my nerves. My eyes have worsened to the point where I can’t see anything at night- glare takes up my whole vision, even with anti-glare shades. I was driving well below the speed limit the entire time and still almost hit three pedestrians who were all recklessly out on the roads in all black for whatever reason. My nerves are completely shot from it, my chest feels like I’m in a vice and can’t breathe, my eyes are wide open and hunched over the steering wheel, and my body feels both like I’m about to wet myself at any moment and that I’m too stiff/tense/frozen to function as a human at all, it’s that fight-or-flight response at its extreme. Meanwhile, my skin must be weak- my knuckles bleed when driving, and my wrists bled just from carrying in bags of groceries.

then getting home and just dealing with personal drama of someone I know who is so depressed and self destructive and too smart to reason with, who refuses/is unable to seek professional help, who just doesn’t understand or just can’t help venting to me nonstop, no matter how much I beg them not to over and over- their life is so terrible that suicide seems like the only option to them, and I don’t want them to do so, but I can’t keep suffering like this either and I feel like the only thing preventing them from doing so, as poor a job as I do as a human being anyway. But I can’t help them if they can’t help themselves, even if they were just ate a bit better, or just had a journal or someone anonymous they could talk to, but it seems inescapable and impossible to change anything and all we do is argue over it until I snap at them to leave me alone. That person is probably reading this right now and probably hating it, but I doubt anyone on this site even knows who they are.

Tuesday morning, I couldn’t sleep at all from anxiety- it was so severe and inescapable, I laid in bed for four hours feeling like I was dying until I was finally able to sleep for two hours. I can’t seem to stay asleep longer than two hours anymore. Was supposed to hang out with friends that day, but between lack of sleep, depression, and my absolute terror at driving in a snowstorm, I ended up just staying home.

Anxiety has gotten so bad again. I know a lot of how the mechanics work behind it, I know a lot of pains are from tension and lack of breathing. But my old coping mechanisms don’t work anymore. I can focus on breathing for several minutes straight and then fall right back into suffocating. Music, counting things, meditating, none of it helps anymore.

One way to describe the feeling of anxiety- it’s kind of like when you fall asleep on your arm, and you feel all the blood rushing back into it and that tingling sensation. Imagine that, maybe a bit less, but throughout your entire body (especially chest), your body is stiff and not numb, and your entire body is vibrating or shivering/shaking or something.

I still spend 16+ hours laying in bed every single day. When I got home from shopping, the walking around (and the stress of driving) was enough to send me straight to bed, I was so tired and weak. It’s probably why I don’t sleep properly, I’m half awake in bed all the time, what need is there for sleep

I have mail I haven’t opened, taxes I still have to do, messes to clean, and don’t care for any of it. Can’t even talk about some things I’ve been doing to myself out of spite or general depression, the way I’ve been abusing. I promise to try not to do anything too crazy or directly harmful, but even then I worry about slipping up- I tried one thing I shouldn’t talk about, which wasn’t too serious, but still seriously concerning how easy it was to try doing

still haven’t contacted a therapist, my fear of calling someone is so strong I can’t overcome it, especially not after just waking up. Talked to some friends, some agree that I should, at least one thinks it’s a waste of time and money- up to $125 per session to just get a glorified phone call thanks to covid restrictions. I just don’t see the point if I’m still stuck in my apartment at my computer, especially if I have an internet addiction already.

The lack of doing anything is driving me insane, I think. I’ve played four single player games in 2020- ACNH, KH MoM, Panel de Pon, and Picross. In terms of things watched on my own, probably just Japan Sinks and whatever else was on Netflix the few months I had it. Don’t feel motivated to play or watch anything anymore, nothing seems interesting, and mostly just do things with friends if at all

Even ACNH, the game I play the most, I barely do anything in it- mostly just get new items from stores, that’s it. My island decorating has come to a hard halt, mostly because I barely have any furniture I’d like to embellish it with, and mainly because I have no ideas to layout most of it

I want to create, but don’t have the energy to make anything at all. Rotten Nyan is still my current goal, but anxiety has made it next to impossible to work on. I’ve tried several times the past few weeks, all met with failure- the anxiety’s too much, half the time I don’t even know what’s causing it, but my body just gets too tense and cramped without even doing anything, and I just can’t breathe at all while working on it.

Thought about making an omake comic for it, then realized what a terrible idea it was, and how hard it is to draw comics in general. Or anything in general. Wrote down the entire comic while laying in bed one day, went to draw it, was unable to, tried making it a yonkoma, gave up, and felt sick thinking of all the gross things in it that I just made a vent description of Middle Lave and just posted that to the RN tumblr instead.

I can’t think of any ideas, I feel like my art has regressed- I’ve taken more shortcuts for the sake of my hands tensing so fast from anxiety, and I’ve gotten decent at drawing middle Lave I feel, but anything besides a character standing is impossible for me- any environments or character interactions that I’d love to do just feel impossible, let alone my inability to write good ones. Anything I try to think of writing-wise always ends up the same gross content that burned into my memories that I just can’t feel comfortable talking about much at all, nor do I think it’s content people want to see at all.

There’s a lot of detailed kind of art I’d like to do. I kind of want to loosen my restrictions on myself and just draw whatever suffering I feel like, maybe once I use the RN twitter more I might get a little more courage to do so. I see many artists draw detailed scenes in single images, and no matter how hard I try, I just can’t capture that feeling.

Part of me feels torn about it being an autobiography for people to relate to, and being a suffering experience for people to find some weird enjoyment out of. I feel like I’ve lost sight of what it was originally meant to be and now just enjoy “bullying” Middle Lave half the time I guess, but unfortunately for me, bullying makes me feel like vomiting and is hard to draw consistently- maybe I’m too nice. I don’t know, I’m just rambling at this point. The comic is still laid out and just meant to explore the life of Lave, but it’s just so hard to work on.

In terms of other things, I have no idea what to do

Vtuber/streaming? Hate my voice, can’t focus on learning what I need for it in terms of rigging and texturing models. I only know the basics of making 3D things and nothing else.

Console art? I already designed all the ones I’m mainly interested in, but like I mentioned before, can’t think of any character interactions at all that I feel like drawing.

Making a game? I know 2k3 well enough to make anything in it event-wise, though never got over my map failings, and I can’t commit to anything long-term. Godot or another program, or programming in general? Good luck.

I just want to make something, work on a project without losing steam or letting anxiety prevent me from learning. Can’t focus on anything long enough to learn it- Japanese, making a game, programming, a new hobby, anything. I just don’t have the drive to do anything and will give up anything I even try to start, so what’s the point in even trying anything. I have books I haven’t read that I’ve been meaning to read for years, and still don’t have an ounce of energy to want to even organize them on their shelf, let alone open it

At the very least, I got my first big commission (second one ever), designing an OC for someone, and it’s going well, though tonight I’ve lost steam to finish it, and I hope I can get it back tomorrow to try to finalize it.

I’ve mentioned it before, but I really wish I just had someone guide me with art- I miss doing those 30 day challenge kind of things, or “send a number/emoji” kind of asks for OCs, but tumblr’s so inactive that I don’t see them on my dash anymore, and don’t know how to even look for them, especially not on sites like twitter these days. Though, the problem is, no one knows exactly what I like, and I feel awful letting people down if they ask for something I don’t want to draw

I can’t focus on exercise long term, and I’m so out of practice that exhaustion is too strong to beat. I’ve been trying to walk up and down on a step stool for exercise to get me back into basic movement, but even that’s too tiring. Want to do it while watching something, then I realize, I don’t watch anything at all, not even youtube, just an occasional artist stream that I mainly chat with rather than watch

I feel like I’m going to collapse if I turn or move too suddenly, and my eyes are absolutely terrible- glasses are okay, but without them I’m completely blind now- not just blind, but it’s like my eyes see at two different angles sometimes, like one is slanted or something, very disorientating.

It’s 7:30AM, and no desire to sleep at all. Terrified of laying in bed and letting anxiety take over me again. Part of me wants to become completely nocturnal and just avoid everyone during the day and just respond to messages in the AM hours, just wake up at midnight each day and avoid dealing with people. Go to sleep when everyone starts to get active and just isolate myself entirely from society.

I feel like I exist with no purpose whatsoever, and it’s driving me insane- not that life is meant to have a purpose, but I could at least be doing something more than laying in bed all day every day for a year

[shatteredcloudsstarvingskies]

dear diary (11/23,24,25/18)

dear @shadowami

on this day, the plan is for me to drive to austin to chris's house and nick meet us there from his parents' and the 3 of us go see the wonder years at the mohawk.

my drive was actually really easy and nice and i got to chris's house so quickly!!!

chris just told me to park by the leasing office and he'd walk over and show me the way to his place bc you know that shit was a hellscape the last time went there.

chris retrieved me and his complex is so cute too! he showed me this spoopy scarecrow his neighbors still have up that is so scarily perfectly placed outside. his and dale's apartment is so cute inside!!! i love it!

their dog literally does look sad all the goddamn fucking time no matter how much attention you give her.

chris told me his toilet wasn't working and he was waiting for a maintenance man to come by and he shared some leftover thanksgiving food with me, which HONESTLY, i think is so fucking sweet of him. it was so super nice to just sit and talk with chris in a private environment with no other ears nearby, ya know?

the toilet man came over and worked on the toilet and chris went out to go retrieve nick from where he parked.

when nick got in the house, he was quiet at first and let me and chris do a lot of the talking but he warmed up fairly quickly and we had so much fun together. i kept wishing you were there with us.

chris drove us to the show and i showed nick all around the mohawk when we got there. i bought a drink and nick bought me this super yummy boozie hot cocoa!

i showed him this secret spot above the stage i've watched shows from before and we watched all of the wonder years there together while chris was in the crowd.

after the show, we walked down to 6th bc we were being good tour guides to nick. and decided we were gonna get voodoo donuts. on the walk there, i was telling nick about bat bar and how there's sexy ladies dancing in the windows of it and i kept saying "SHOW ME THE SEXY LADIES I WANNA SEE THE SEXY LADIES" and out of nowhere, nick stuck his phone directly in front of my face, and his screen was in selfie camera mode or whatever. so i thought he was like, taking a picture of me? i automatically smiled and asked what the fuck he was doing??? to which THIS BOY SAID "you wanted to see a sexy lady" AND YA KNOW, I DON'T THINK THAT'S ALLOWED

nick also tied my shoe laces for me like, twice bc he's a fucking sweet baby.

we got to voodoo donuts and realized that they only take cash and SO THIS SWEET BOY PAID FOR ALL 3 OF OUR DONUTS FOR US.

we headed home and proceeded to stay awake till around 5am just drinking and bullshitting with each other and talking to dale on video chat and it was so so so much fun. my drunk ass kept talking about you and i kept wishing you could've been there for everything. it didn't feel right without you.

chris let us sleep in their bed and nick and i had all these plans to get up at a decent time and go to the riverwalk and explore san antonio and WE WERE GONNA GO SPONTANEOUSLY GET TATTOOS SOMEWHERE AND IT WAS GONNA BE SO COOL. but we stayed in bed until like, 1pm and so we basically shit all over our plans hahaha

chris is a sweet baby and made us breakfast and coffee and we listened to christmas music. chris sold me his old NAILS hoodie and an old rotting out shirt!

nick and i made the trek to san antonio and just decided to get a motel room near the venue.

traffic was fucking terrible but we listened to fall out boy on the way there and some scenie bands too and sang along almost the whole time.

we got ready in the motel room and walked to the venue that was maybe 5 minutes away?

i've told you about the girl i became friends with bc i saw her at some touché shows and other shows, right? well, she met us there! and so did this other girl i was friends with from one of my emo groups on fb!

nick and i decided that san antonio is creepy bc it was so eerily quiet outside when we were walking and everything just looks spooky. the venue itself was much smaller than i imagined and stuffy.

it was much harder to get up front too, but as soon as la dispute's first song started i shoved up and left our little group and these people in the crowd were MEAN. they were not cool with letting me get in front and these 3 boys squished directly behind me wouldn't back off at all and kept squishing against me throughout the whole set AND they didn't know any of the lyrics.

BUT during the first song, jordan saw me singing loud and proud and actually came up to where i was in the crowd (which he did not do for this particular song when we were in dallas) and we shared the mic for this one part and it was fucking amazing. the set was the same as the dallas show but jordan kept pointing at me bc literally not a single person around me was singing at all. seeing "said the king to river" live this time was fucking magical though. i was drenched in sweat and their last song was "such small hands" and he made sure to let me have the mic for one of the "darling"s so i think that means i have to get that word tattooed now. sorry, i don't make the rules.

our group got back together after their set and said bye and nick and i walked back to our room. we decided to get ramen delivered since we couldn't do any of the other plans we had decided on bc we were lazy earlier, haha

we ate ramen and watched my faaaaavorite pokémon movie together and it was so nerdy and wholesome and i really loved it.

we woke up too early the next day bc we both needed to get home and he had to go all the way back to arlington. :(

during this whole trip and the trip i'd made to arlington, we both kept saying we wished we could freeze time and just live in some of our moments a little while longer. and i thought it was so cool he felt that way.

after spending soooo much one on one time with him, i really love our friendship. we really talk and hang like we're homies and its really so good. i don't know what the future holds for he and i, but this weekend was what my sanity needed bc honestly, i hadn't been doing well at all. i spent so much of my time this break laughing and being really happy. and you know i've been feeling like a curse had been put on me.

i really do wish i could fit you right in my pocket bc i miss you so much and i want you to experience everything with me.

[kpopfanfixture-blog]

The Promotion, Pt II

Pt I here

- You had always thought you could get along with anybody at work - even if it was merely on a professional level. That was until you met Jungkook. The most irritating man you had ever met. He got under your skin in a way nobody else could and vice versa. Nothing could make you like him. Shame then, that your boss makes you an offer you can’t refuse, pushing the pair of you closer than ever before. -

The moment you stepped over the threshold of your modest apartment you let out a long, exhausted sigh and threw your handbag to the corner of the room. You shrugged out of your boring grey blazer and hung it over the back of one of your breakfast bar stools and headed straight over to the fridge. You had been thinking about the barbecue chicken you wanted to make for dinner all day, but one glance at your watch told you there wasn’t time for all the preparation if you wanted to look remotely decent tonight. You instead pulled out the microwave Chilli Con Carne & rice meal that you had resented buying with a scowl and set the timer for four minutes. In the meantime, you poured yourself a glass of wine from the bottle you had been keeping in the fridge and turned on some music to try and get in the party mood. Anything to stop you from cancelling on Nara and rolling straight into bed as soon as you had warm food in you. But after shovelling down your unappetising meal, you quickly showered and dressed for the occasion and poured another glass of wine while humming along to the song currently playing, feeling in far higher spirits.

Nayeon had told you that the party was going to be quite formal - you were to wear a cocktail dress. But it felt too much to go all out at a work party, so you compromised with her: a plain black midi-dress with spaghetti straps and a split that went halfway up the thigh. It was just that bit too hot to be a work dress and (not that you were trying to brag, although you totally were) you looked incredible in it.

Right on time, you heard the short blast of a car horn outside and as you looked out the window you saw Nayeon and Nara looking fabulous in the backseat of a taxi. You could hear how loud they were being; they were obviously a little tipsy. As you climbed into the back seat, the both of them started to cheer and giggle before settling down for just moments before their favourite song came on the radio and they began to sing a little too loudly in unison. Once you had arrived at your destination and worked out how to split the fare you put in a larger tip than you normally would for the poor driver and then stepped out, hooking your arm into Nayeon’s who had done the same with Nara to walk into the party together.

Disappointedly you were the first people here besides your boss, Mr Roh, you were chatting quietly with your department manager in the corner of the room - and neither of them looked up when you arrived. It wasn’t exactly the jaw-dropping arrival you had been hoping for.

Nara must have noticed the look on your face because she was blushing. “Sorry guys, I had to get here first seeing as it’s my party,” she explained sheepishly. You tried to appear happy, although inside you were quite disgruntled. Your plan to be here just long enough to make your rounds and leave was starting to seem a bit difficult.

“It’s fine!” You said, trying to sound upbeat. “Let’s get something to drink - open bar, right?”

Nara winked. “Of course!” Then she glanced over to where your boss was standing. “Could you get me a white wine? I just want to go talk to Mr Roh for a moment.” She didn’t give you time to reply, dashing to where the boss was standing. You rolled your eyes and Nayeon shook her head, sighing in an affectionate way but you knew she was worried. It was no secret in the office that Nara had rather a soft spot for Mr Roh.

“She’ll get over it, she’ll have to. It’s not like she’s going to be working for him anymore, she’ll probably never see him again.” You pointed out, taking a seat right at the bar and patting the one next to you for Nayeon to sit in. She followed you over without taking her eyes off her sister who was flicking her hair over her shoulder flirtatiously and clearly speaking with much enthusiasm to Mr Roh, her eyes twinkling with excitement.

Nayeon frowned. “That would be easier to believe if I hadn’t caught him sneaking out of  our apartment at 6 AM five times in the last month.”

“What?!” You exclaimed as your drinks were pushed towards you by an attractive barman. “Nara and Mr Roh?” You looked back over to the pair and reassessed what was going on now you were more informed on the situation. He wasn’t entirely unattractive - he was tall, well-built, and you couldn’t ignore the way he wore his power and wealth so confidently. He knew exactly what he was capable of. If you were to bring someone home to meet your parents he was most definitely an impressive choice. The only downside was that he was quite a bit older than you - at least 25 years older. He had to be about 20 years older than Nara. “He’s not a bad choice.” You said diplomatically.

Nayeon pursed her lips together, clearly not enjoying what was unfolding in front of her. “There was no choice. They aren’t dating.”

Your eyes slid over to Nara once again. She was obviously quite smitten with him, although that was something you had already known anyway. Mr Roh seemed his usual professional self. You hoped that it was simply that he wasn’t comfortable with showing his feelings in public; particularly in a work environment, but you knew men and you didn’t have your hopes up.

You weren’t quite sure what to say. “She’s 28, she can look after herself - come on. Let’s go take her drink over.” You looked over to the stairway, where a crowd of people were making their way down. You gestured over to them for Nayeon to look at. “People are starting to arrive no anyway, she’ll have to come away from him.”

That seemed to abate some of Nayeon’s anxiety over it and as soon as Nara noticed you approaching, she suddenly became very stiff and polite as though she hadn’t been batting her eyelashes at him and laughing at even the most terrible of his jokes. She took the drink you had ordered from Nayeon’s hands and dragged you both to the centre of the room without giving you a chance to say anything to your boss.  

“I love this one!” She yelled over the too-loud music, throwing her arms in the air enthusiastically causing splashes of her drink to spill out over all three of you. You wiped your arms and scanned the room to see who had arrived so far - most of HR was here, although you couldn’t see Madge yet. Not a shock, she was late for everything. Majority of the people in accounts were making their way down the stairs as though they had all agreed to turn up at exactly the same time, and the girls you shared an office with made their way over to congratulate Nara.

“Come on, let’s get another drink.” You suggested to Nayeon, knowing full well you couldn’t expect to have much of Nara’s attention for the rest of the evening. She followed after you and downed her drink in one, nervously. “Don’t worry about Nara - we’ll keep an eye on her.” You said, slightly worried about the speed at which Nayeon was drinking. You’d only ever seen her drink more than three vodka and cokes in a whole night once, and that hadn’t ended well. Acting like this all night would get her into trouble.

Nayeon looked down at her lap and played with her fingers, suddenly shy. “It’s not that.” She paused for a moment, taking a deep breath. “You know Jimin? I want to -” She paused again and looked over at the barman, pushing her glass over to him for him refill. “Well, you know. I was going to see if - if he wanted to go out sometime.” She still didn’t look at you, completely avoiding eye contact as the new glass of wine was pushed towards her. You snatched it away before she could grasp it - mostly to slow her down, but also because this was big news, and you wanted her full attention.

“Finally!” You exclaimed, clapping your hands in delight. You did know Jimin - he worked upstairs with the other half of accounts and he had to be one of the finest looking men BH Industries had on their payroll. He was one of those men that gave you butterflies even if he wasn’t really your type. Totally sweet one minute, completely desirable in a  i-want-to-rip-your-clothes-off kind of way the next. For the most part he had had a girlfriend, so he and Nayeon had barely spoken outside of a work capacity, but it was easy to the see the sparks between them. As of six months ago he was single and whenever he and Nayeon would bump into one another they’d be so flustered and shy that you couldn’t resist teasing her about it. “Is he here yet?”

Nayeon grimaced. “He’s over by the speakers with some of the other boys.” You turned to see him dressed smartly in black pants, white shirt, standing with three men - two you recognised, one you didn’t. “The more I think about it, the sicker I feel.”

You patted her leg gently. “Give it half an hour, build up your courage, then go over.” She nodded and took a sharp intake of breath. “He’ll say yes - he likes you!” You could tell by her reaction that she didn’t believe you. But since she’d pointed him out you had noticed him looking over here several times. You couldn’t stop grinning as you realised they’d both been looking for each other.

“Well, well, well - don’t you two scrub up well?” You heard a voice say as a strong arm wrapped around your shoulders. You looked up to see Taehyung, beautiful in every way, standing next to you.

“Hey, good looking.” You winked, and he playfully licked his lips. “Where have you been, I’ve missed you!”

Taehyung was your office crush - nothing too serious, you enjoyed that such a good looking man would flirt with you, but nothing would ever come of it. Besides the fact that Taehyung was not someone who could be tied down, you were totally incompatible in a romantic way.

“Ooh, incoming here comes trouble.” He said in the most serious voice he could manage, which didn’t sound all that serious at all, and you looked over to see Jungkook approaching. You rolled your eyes and turned the bar stool so you were facing away from him.

“Tae!” You heard him say. “Are you coming to-” there was a pause, “-that thing next week?”

You tried not to look like you were listening, but your curiosity was piqued. What thing? You’d be sure to ask Taehyung about it later.

“Think so - thought I had some dinner with my parents, but looks like they’ve cancelled on me, so I should be there.”

Knowing that Taehyung got on well with Jungkook left you feeling a little bitter. Alongside Madge, he was someone whose opinion you respected and him being yet another person who couldn’t understand your hatred was frustrating.

“Great.” Jungkook sounded genuinely pleased, his voice actually sounded pleasant when he wasn’t talking to you. “How have you been? I didn’t get a chance to talk to you earlier, sorry about that.”

This time he must have been talking to Nayeon because you saw her spin round in her chair out of the corner of her eye, so that little comment was a dig at you. Great.  “That’s alright,” she giggled nervously, and you told yourself to remember this. How could she be acting like the rest of the office girls, all giggly and silly because he’d acknowledged her? “I’ve been great, I’ll be sad not to have Nara in the office to look after me anymore.”

They talked for a few more minutes, the three of them like best friends as you ordered another wine and sipped away without speaking to any of them like a grouchy old woman.

“Hey,” he tapped you on the shoulder. Shocked, you turned around with your wine glass still to your lips. “Mr Roh is looking for you.” Then he nodded at the others, giving a squeeze of Nayeon’s arm who was looking up at him like he was the greatest thing since sliced bread and walked over to another group of people.

The mention of Mr Roh had gotten Nayeon all tense again. “I better go look for him then.” You said and signalled to Taehyung to stay with Nayeon - the last thing you needed was to be spending the night holding her hair while she threw up into a toilet.

“There you are!” You heard Mr Roh shout across to you as you passed through the room close to where you had seen him earlier. “I wanted to talk to you about something.” You felt your stomach lurch, what did he want now? The only time he ever seemed to call you up anymore was to reprimand you about not getting along better with Jungkook.

“Yes, sir?”

He laughed, displaying his perfect white teeth pulled into a smile that you only ever saw him direct at clients, if ever. “Relax, you’re not in trouble this time. I wanted to talk to you about a new job opening I think you’d be perfect for.” He walked around the room in no definite direction, and you followed him quietly, letting him explain uninterrupted. “As you know, we’ve been expanding recently - bigger departments and all that.” He glanced over to see your reaction and seemed strangely pleased at your blank face. You should have probably looked more excited, but you didn’t want to give anything away. “Anyway, the job is in the downtown offices so you’ll have to transfer but you will have more responsibility, more power within the company - and of course, a pay rise.” He winked, and you stopped.

“Why me?” You asked, trying not to sound too suspicious. It seemed to you he’d found you were nothing but trouble as of late. So a sudden promotion of sorts was the last thing you'd have expected.

Mr Roh looked a little shocked. “I thought you wanted a transfer? Well, one has come up - it’s a similar role and you’ve got all the qualities I’d be looking for-”

You grinned - he was finally giving you a transfer. Free from Jungkook forever. Sure, you’d miss Nayeon, she wouldn’t be sitting next to you and you wouldn’t get your afternoon gossip in the bathroom with Madge, but free from Jungkook. It’s all you had wanted for the seven months since he had arrived.

“I’d love to!” You exclaimed, shaking his hand.

“Good - I’ll sort out all the details over the weekend, you just be here at 8.30 Monday morning.” He explained and began to walk away. “Congratulations.” He turned back to say to you one last time before walking back into the crowd looking quite pleased with himself.

[phooll123]

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SteelSeries/Max Borges Agency

The Arctis Pro plus GameDAC hands over high resolution audio and takes back the contents of your wallet.

SteelSeries launched what is sure to become the flagship of their gaming headset lines today: the Arctis Pro plus GameDAC. The first high-resolution-audio certified headset in the gaming market, it packs in the best of everything SteelSeries could dream up, and is priced accordingly: $250, or a whopping $330 for the wireless version, which is not Hi-Res certified. Yes, you could buy the plain Arctis Pro without the accompanying digital-to-analog converter for $180. But you don't want to, even with the $70 upcharge, because it defeats the point of the headset altogether. Most gaming headsets sound terrible because we hook them up to terrible things. Sound cards, which were de rigeur on a PC even a decade ago, went the way of the dinosaur as on-board chipsets became common and gamers started investing in more visible (versus audible) things. Console gamers, you're even worse: You hook up that sweet Sony PlayStation 4 to a surround sound system to listen to gameplay, but when it comes time to hook up a headset, you're plugging into a USB port or a 3.5mm jack with terrible drivers and a cheap set of earbuds. Yes, you. I see you there.

SteelSeries/Max Borges Agency

The Arctis Pro + GameDAC (the little thing on the right.)

The GameDAC is a little shiny black pill-shaped doodad with a crisp OLED display screen that sits on your desk or end table. It has the huge volume knob, sure, but it allows you to control virtually everything about your headset, from whether you hear yourself talk to how loud your friends are versus the game, right from its convenient menus. More importantly, its guts include the swanky ESS Saber 9800 DAC chip, which is one reason why this headset is hi-res certified. The $55,000 Sennheiser Orpheus has eight of them, but at $250 you'll have to settle for just one. This means it doesn't matter if your PC's sound card is horrible or nonexistent, or you're plugging into the PS4 and hoping for the best, because all the audio control is lodged in the device. This is why you don't want to skip that part of the system if you're ponying up for real sound. "You could go buy a nice DAC and hook it up to a gaming environment, but you’d be missing some gaming-focused features," including that chat/gaming sound mix, says SteelSeries audio product manager Brian Fallon. For even more control while on a PC, the Arctis Pro will use the SteelSeries Engine, which among other things will allow you to tune its classy colored-LED loops on the ear cups to blink in time with your other SteelSeries gear. Hi-res audio comes with some interesting caveats. Have surround sound on? It's not hi-res. Using the wireless version of the headset, which is limited by the bandwidth of its dual 2.4Ghz/Bluetooth connection? Not hi-res. Most gamers, I suspect, will spend more time listening to the Arctic Pro line with hi-res sound turned off than on. So is it worth it? If you use one set of cans to listen to really high-quality music (Tidal, for example, or other high-fidelity services, or your own recordings, or ripped vinyl or CDs) and play games, yes. You'll swap back and forth and appreciate the solid performance in both arenas. The Arctis Pro has a sweet sound, a little more mid-range than most gaming sets, with crisp highs and almost too-precise bass. It's different than traditional all-bass, all-the-time gaming sound, but easy to get used to. "We’re not going after the bass-heavy gaming approach to sound," Fallon said. "Having a great audio front end, it does some great things to the sound. It feels like everything separates from each other, the instruments separate. That applies to gaming, where there are a lot of different things going on. Now you can pick out every component of that sound and localize it. That has some major advantages." Still, if you only game, you might not get much out of that incredible audio capacity. You'll appreciate how good they sound with your standard gameplay soundtracks, but we're not talking orders of magnitude better performance here. With VR gaming becoming more common, the industry might catch up, making hi-res audio's ability to capture more "location" detail useful. But frankly, most titles right now just don't offer it.

SteelSeries/Max Borges Agency

Especially for you, PS4 gamers. Sorry.

Truthfully, on the gaming side, I appreciated the little things: the low-key design, the highly adjustable and faithfully-reproducing microphone, the fact that you can wear them for an eight-hour stretch and not feel like you have cauliflower ears. They feel solid but not heavy, comfortable and convenient, and if you live in a noisy household, they're going to give you some sweet gaming headspace. A few little things bugged me. They're comfortable to wear for long periods, but these are definitely not cushy "I love your ears, baby" headphones that hug you when you put them on. Fortunately, they are still considerably more comfortable than the rest of the Arctis line, so you will forget they're on. And really: This is a $180 headset, not counting the external hardware. We couldn't spring for braided cords? The Arctis Pro will plug into a 3.5mm jack, so if you wanted to take them on the road as your phone headset, you could do that as well. Realistically, they're a little bulky for all but the most-dedicated of bulky-look-lovers, though the microphone (like all in the Arctis line) tucks neatly away inside one of the cans when not in use. When this set first arrived on my desk, the price tag filled me with skepticism. I still think that for gaming, you can get 80 percent of the Arctis Pro's sound on a headset that costs a third as much. But I've grown attached to them in the time they've been here, and they've gradually edged out all my other headset models just from a comfort, sound quality and convenience perspective.

SteelSeries/Max Borges Agency

The thoughtful (and it better be, for $330) Arctis Pro Wireless comes with desktop charging for its extra battery.

The wireless version is fun, for those folks who must have wireless. It has dual batteries (one charging, one in the headset) so you'll never go dead, and the dual wireless means you can talk on your phone while you listen to your PC, or vice versa, which is pretty nifty. But I can't get over spending that much -- $80 more -- on a set that can't do the best audio possible because of its connection, even if you never use it. Oh, and no LED accents on the wireless version for battery life reasons. I run through headsets at a rate of about one every six months or less, either by destruction (too-long cords getting tied up in chairs) or by sheer use. If these lasted a year or more, that would make the pricey bottom line a little more palatable. I can't tell whether they will yet, of course, but they certainly seem to have the potential; finishes and materials are both high-end. If you're an audiophile gamer, the Arctic Pro line is definitely worth checking out, especially if you like its more-mellow sound. For everyone else, these would be right at home with that dream gaming setup, after you've maxed out your video card and your 4K monitors. Don't have a dream gaming setup? Then there are probably better, cheaper options for you than this series. I've covered gaming for more than two decades, and I cover PC games, VR games and Blizzard eSports for Forbes. Sign upfor email alerts when my stories run. Follow me @gbitses.

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Exactly how to Select a Gym to Match Your Goals

Exactly how to Select a Gym to Match Your Goals

 So you intend to sign up with a brand-new health club. Exactly how should you select amongst the many and differed gyms out there? It can be confusing to prioritise all the various considerations, as well as extremely simple to be guided by a great salesman when you check out a gym Roanoke. Arm on your own with this list to make sure that you make the very best choice for you. And always visit a number of gyms before making your decision. Gym Roanoke

Equipment

The crucial inquiry you require to ask yourself is, "what are my goals?". After that select a gym whose equipment matches your objectives. So if you're after muscle development, select a gym Roanoke with enough exercising weights (dumbbells and weights, wire crossovers, benches with both flat as well as slope alternatives, squat racks). And also if yoga and also stretching is your point, you need a gym with a yoga workshop as well as plenty of area for extending.

Check out the format of the fitness center. Does it really feel energising to you? Exists space to move around? Is the balance of tools right for you? Directly I do not such as substantial rows of treadmills regarding the eye can see, with little different cardio devices (cross trainers, bikes, rowing equipments). As well as I hate little confined free-weights locations, I like my free-weights locations to be sizable and also a good distance in between weights benches to avoid running into the person beside you. I've been in some gyms where the weights locations were remarkable.

An additional point to think about is the songs in the health club. Do you want loud music, or do you prefer to work out in a quiet atmosphere? One health club I utilized had 2 floors with an open mezzanine, with loud rock-and-roll from the top level clashing with the loud popular song downstairs, which was greatly bothersome to the ears.

Team

The first individuals you'll probably see are the reception personnel. Are they inviting, pleasant, experienced? All these points matter for a whole lot if you're going to interact with them every single time you concern the fitness center.

After that take into consideration the accessibility of health club instructors and also personal fitness instructors. Are they offered, conscientious, and friendly? Talk to them and you'll see.

One point that placed me straight off one health club I went to was reception team consuming doughnuts, repainting their nails (which was simply the guys), as well as when I left, I saw one of the gym instructors standing outside smoking a cigarette. Ugh.

In contrast, my existing gym Roanoke has friendly, lively, chatty and experienced personnel. It makes such a massive difference to your gym experience. All the personal trainers and fitness center trainers have their photos on the wall, with a short biog concerning them. I talk to them concerning the most recent workout fads, nourishment ideas, and also they're all really experienced. So when you see a gym with a view to signing up with, try chatting to several of the personnel and you'll obtain an idea of just how friendly as well as educated they are.

Showers & Transforming Spaces

This is where most gyms 24018 let themselves down terribly. The changing rooms are typically cramped, with small/narrow storage lockers which are a struggle to get all your things into. Once I took a sports bag to a new gym just to discover that locker was also little for the bag to match.

As well as always ask for a free test session, so you in fact experience the changing area and also showers rather than simply a quick glance around. Try prior to you acquire, this offers you a better possibility of identifying issues. One free test I had was fantastic, till I utilized the showers at the end. One workstation had just freezing water, another had just hot water, and the third had no shower gel in the dispenser.

Other Members

Exactly how hectic is the gym? Always check out on a day and also at once you're preparing to use it routinely. If it's as well crowded, you're not going to get a suitable exercise, you'll be waiting around for equipment to become available. City gyms in a downtown can get so crowded at lunchtime, you'll even be standing in a long line up to get a shower. No many thanks.

And also what are the members like? You intend to be around the type of people you like, or at the very least not really feel awkward among, right? So if you're female and also into mild cardio, you may not want to be among substantial perspiring noisy body builders collapsing weights about and also considering you up. Furthermore if you're a person right into hefty weightlifting, you may want similar people to train about for the inspiration as well as power, rather than waif-like individuals on exercise bikes.

Once again, you can just gague what the various other participants are like by having a totally free trial session, so I strongly suggest you do this prior to signing on the populated line.

Price and also Agreement

Know what you're signing up for, what's consisted of and also what costs extra (towels, sauna etc). What's the termination policy, can you freeze your membership if you're ill, what's the term of the agreement (some are as high as 2 years), does your membership permit you to use various other gyms in the chain, and also what days/times can you utilize the fitness center?

Added Facilities

Consider what else is necessary to you. Would you value a snack bar which provided healthy and balanced treats, shakes, protein trembles after your exercise? Do you desire a swim after your exercise? And alternatively, if you don't intend to swim, it could be a waste of money signing up with a fitness center with a pool, as this bumps up the price of subscription considerably. Or you may find that the centers you do worth are so excellent that it deserves paying the additional for points you may not use. You need to weigh up your concerns and decide as necessary.

One gym I joined had a pool, as well as I didn't become aware until somebody told me later, that a pool substantially hikes up subscription fees.

So as you can see, there are many things to think about. The very best starting point is to ask what your leading fitness objectives are, and afterwards select a fitness center that will best aid you reach your objectives, in a clean as well as pleasant as well as energising environment, and also hassle-free to reach. Simply put, select a gym that's right for you.

 One among the very best means to shed fat and also shed calories is to hitch a fitness center. Signing up with a health club will certainly ensure that you comply with a daily workout regimen as well as concentrate on your health extra. Although some people often tend to comply with various other entirely different methods of slimming down like practicing aerobics, yoga or weight loss, signing up with a health club remains recommended. You can think about a few of the essential factors while picking a gym in NJ which will certainly build your job simpler.

Below are some of the variables:

Gym location

Location of the health club is a crucial issue in picking a gym in NJ or anywhere else. Most people are too lazy every once in a while and have a tendency to forget going to the fitness center just as an outcome of it is as well far from our residence or work place. So, so as to avoid such a state of events, you ought to hunt for a gym which is close to your residence or workplace. You will certainly need to consistently follow a day-to-day exercise regimen to keep up a smart healthy and balanced body. This will exclusively be achievable if you choose a health club close to your residence or office and workout frequently.

Choice of test subscription

With the choice of test subscription on the marketplace at the NJ gym, it'll be easier for you to check out the fitness center at no charge at the very least one or two times or added before making the real settlement. This chance will allow you to evaluate the employees, the tools, as well as additionally the environment of the gym In case, the health club you're anticipating sign up with, does not supply this selection, it is much better to stand for various gyms.

The equipments, the visiting hours and also employees of the health club

Before joining the gym, you can check the condition as well as top quality of devices made use of at the health club. A reasonable health club is constantly equipped with well functioning equipments consequently that it will certainly not generate any issues for the consumers. You'll furthermore go to the gym as well as speak with them the timing you desire to go to the fitness center. Gyms are usually crowded in the morning and also night after work. Just produce sure that the facility isn't over crowded with long waits throughout the time you would certainly require to visit your fitness center. Another essential element to be thought-about is the staff members of the gym. The staff of the gym should be well preserved as well as educated consequently that they can guide you during your workout session in the easiest attainable way.

Environment as well as hygiene of the gym.

NJ gyms are sometimes practical in health, nonetheless in case you are still curious about the hygiene of the fitness center, you'll have the ability to inevitably go to the health club and also inspect the tidiness as well as additionally the operating order of the showers, shower rooms, locker rooms or bathrooms and so on. You can furthermore check the ambience of the fitness center. In case you do not much like the environment of the fitness center, you'll have the ability to continually shift to another one. An excellent inquiry to ask, which will assist you choose a health club in NJ, would certainly be "am I comfortable below?".

Diverse repayment options.

Nowadays lots of NJ gyms are offering clever repayment choices. There are totally various sorts of workout supply out there in countless NJ gym with completely different sort of settlement systems. From this variety of options, you'll have the ability to choose the repayment style which is ideal appropriate for you. There additionally are some gyms in NJ which aren't so stylish and also charge a nominal cost. In case you would like to take into consideration much less pricey gyms you'll forever check out these gyms.

 Considering getting in shape? If you want working one on one with a personal instructor the little niche fitness stores located in and around Santa Barbara provide an abundance of options both in the setting as well as training strategies included in the various facilities. Just recently I visited a variety of these studios, searching for a brand-new area to educate my customers, as well as was impressed at what Santa Barbara needs to offer.

Rather than the muscle isolation makers, regular of the standard gym setup, a lot of studios are filled with security balls, conditioning ball, bands, cords, foam rollers and all kind of various other tools developed for a much more practical approach to fitness. These centers do not just deal with strength structure athletes; they're full of every person from vibrant rivals aiming to improve in sports, to seniors working to develop more powerful bones. After going to a few of the regional hot spots and also exploring several of their diverse training strategies, I zeroed in on a few of the highlights.

The Fitness Studio on Middle Road.

Unlike the typical approach of working one muscle mass at a time, functional training entails integrating exercises to get all your muscular tissues - from your calf bones to your shoulders - in on the action. Stepping up on a bench with dumbbells in hands and afterwards pressing the pinheads overhanging, for example, will prepare you to step up on a chair to place a box on a rack.

The idea is to work against the resistance as if the toughness acquired from the exercise "transfers" to the certain movement in your life.

If you want to enhance your capability to stand up from a chair you might pick leg extensions to develop leg toughness. Yet the squat would be a better exercise choice due to the fact that it's more like the real motion of rising from the chair. So the squat develops more useful leg toughness.

Practical training also boosts your performance in sports. If you're a runner and you 'd like to enhance your time in the 10K, Peter Park promotes "strengthening the prime movers so that you don't obtain as tired in the lengthy races." He places his endurance professional athletes via an intense workout specifically developed to enhance toughness as well as endurance, or muscle endurance, for competition.

Peter's lower body program consists of a collection of exercises done back to back: a set of 25 repetitions of squats, with bands (for constant stress); adhered to by a set of 25 repetitions of leg press, with bands; adhered to by a set of 15 repetitions of step ups; adhered to by 3 different 12-15 repetition plyometric (dive) drills. Which's just one round. He'll have his athletes do that three times! As you can see, Peter's program mirrors both the activities as well as volume of the endurance competition ... the useful technique to fitness.

The Fitness Workshop on reduced State.

Possibly the suggestion of training for the tasks of daily life isn't sufficient to get you inspired to start a workout program. And also you're more interested in sculpting your body to look wonderful in your swimwear or bikini for the coastlines of Santa Barbara. After that the "body building" approach to fitness might be extra for you.

Specifically developed to boost lean muscular tissue as well as minimize body fat, this technique has added incentives ... like boosted self-confidence, greater allure, minimized stress and even more energy for daily tasks.

Although these hereditary aspects affect both men and women, there are still a considerable variety of ladies who will not think about the muscle building method for worry of obtaining also huge. The fact is: most women placed on a reasonably small amount of muscle, despite having hard work and dedication as a result of the estrogen to testosterone ratio. Sadly, this worry of being too muscular keeps a lot of women from profiting.

Numerous elements are associated with bodybuilding, however the one thing that really matters is that you considerably overload your muscular tissues. Leif Tiahrt recommends utilizing the "specific body part approach" and also "making the most of the workouts for each body part." He promotes a 3 day split in which the individual does "push" workouts (breast, shoulders and triceps muscles), on Monday, "draw" workouts (back as well as biceps) and also legs, on Wednesday, and a full body circuit, on Friday. He uses three to 10 repetitions per collection as well as coatings each exercise with a decline set to failing.

By using modest to heavy lots and moderate to high quantity, Leif's program properly boosts the dimension of the muscle mass to create a much more visually pleasing figure ... the utmost objective of bodybuilding.

Perhaps you've placed on some muscle mass through body building. And also now you're ready for a much more refined method to your training ... one that thinks about the particular demands of your sport as well as your objectives ... like attaining peak performance. Following a properly designed "sport particular" training program can aid you get to those objectives and achieve the success you want.

To carry out at your best in tennis, for instance, you need sufficient aerobic endurance to preserve your stamina for a video game that might last several hours; anaerobic endurance (energy is created without oxygen) for a high intensity rally that might last 6-10 secs; speed as well as agility to be able to enter placement to make most of your shots; power for serves, forehands, backhands, as well as batteries; as well as a component of avoidance to prevent injury as well as overtraining.

Conditioning Professionals, situated in a historic structure a few doors up from the Arlington, features the sporting activity details training strategy. Doug Holt, proprietor of Conditioning Specialists and also SB Fitness Publication, acquired his experience at affordable sporting activity via soccer, which he dipped into the collegiate degree. His workshop has the appearance of a high end New York loft space and also includes a personal training studio downstairs, as well as, exclusive areas for a FLOOR COVERING (Muscle Activation Strategies) and massage therapy therapist upstairs, in addition to a workplace for the publication.

When inquired about sport certain training Doug claims "it's training for a specific goal ... not just imitating the real demands of the sporting activity - like hip kidnapping, knee flexion - but likewise the energy needs.".

To prepare for the sport specific needs of tennis, the toughness training program is broken down right into three phases, or mini training programs, each created to develop a specific kind of stamina with the supreme objective of establishing the sporting activity particular toughness that tennis needs, power as well as muscular endurance.

In the first phase, "foundational strength," the goal is to build a solid well-rounded base of stamina, and also, prepare the ligaments and ligaments for the even more requiring activity that will certainly comply with. The 2nd stage is for constructing "maximal strength," a step of just how much weight you can raise for one repeating. If you can squat 225 lbs for one repeating as well as your buddy can only squat 205 lbs, then you have extra topmost toughness, in the squat. The goal of 3rd stage is to convert the stamina you created, formerly, into sporting activity certain "power" (a mix of toughness as well as rate) and "muscular endurance.".

Just as the prep work for the affordable season is broken down into phases, so too the general training program is split into periods to advertise long term improvements in toughness and also prevent overtraining. This program, which is generally an annual plan, includes the preparation period (pre-season), discussed formerly; the competitive duration (in-season); and the shift duration, when the season is shut.

By working with the phases of the training program with the various periods of the competitive season, you can optimize your strength and reach peak performance exactly on time for competition.

Finally.

So if you think you could be interested in working one on one with a personal trainer, discover the wealth of training workshops around Santa Barbara to discover the one that's right for you. Make sure to bear in mind that while each facility may include a specific training technique, many workshops contract to a selection of individual trainers, each with his/her very own distinct training style and also method.

 I have actually been participating in gyms as well as fitness studios for over twenty years. I began when I remained in secondary school and also fell in love with the atmosphere as well as the regimens. By ambience, I mean the entire feeling of the culture of self renovation. People of any ages and all levels of fitness, all working to attain their personal fitness objectives has been something that has actually constantly inspired me, which inspiration has carried over into all elements of my life. There have actually been times when I have been down and out, either at the office or in an individual issue, where I have spent a hr or two exercising in a fitness center as well as was either able to relieve myself of the negative tension or perhaps involve some sort of a remedy that applied in the bad locations of my life. Physical health and also wellness are most definitely connected to mental health and spiritual well being, and benefiting from what a fitness studio Roanoke has to provide can make the distinction in between invigoration and also despair.

Many people just focus on one area of fitness. They might work out regularly, but eat poorly, or may diet plan to the point of starvation without attempting to construct their bodies to make sure that they take care of fat and also calories a lot more successfully. One of the advantages of a fitness workshop is the ability to speak with the professionals as well as the area to ensure that all facets of self enhancement are balanced as well as attuned to each other to make sure that optimum benefit is possible. A fitness center is like a holy place where all of the ideal blessings can be obtained.