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argylemnwrites · 4 years

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Why Are We Still Waiting? - Chapter 1

Pairing: Drake Walker x MC (Riley Liu)

Book: The Royal Romance (It Couldn’t Wait Another Moment universe, about 21 months after that epilogue, about 8 months since the prologue)

Word Count: ~4400

Rating: PG-13 (language)

Summary: A new member of the family arrives, and both Drake and Riley reflect on how much things have changed over the past 3 years.

Author’s Note: Let’s try this again, shall we? Sorry for the delay between the prologue and this chapter, but I’m much happier with the character arcs I’ve got planned now, and I think you all will enjoy the story more, too. To catch up on this series, you can check out the It Couldn’t Wait Another Moment masterlist (link in bio).

It was a quiet night in the Kensington neighborhood of Brooklyn. Anderson was curled up in his armchair, dozing lightly after his evening walk. The TV was on, the eleven o’clock news about to start any moment, and Drake was settled onto the couch, ready to watch, no matter how much Riley teased him about being “an old man” for still using the television to get his news. She was stretched out on the couch next to him, her toes tucked under his thigh. She was finishing up her work for the day, reviewing the twitter buzz for the reopening of a restaurant that hired the PR firm she worked for after a video of the former head chef going on a racist tirade surfaced. It was boring, average, and incredibly routine. It was the type of evening Drake enjoyed the most.

He knew Riley saw nights in like this as their “catch up” nights, but honestly, Drake looked forward to them a lot. Sure, in the more than two years he’d lived in New York, he’d come to find many things he loved about the city. The variety of food available at hole-in-the-wall restaurants was amazing, and the portion sizes and prices were always right. The mind games and backstabbing of court were replaced with direct, blunt friendships with Luke, Sunil, Caleb, and Omar, men he’d gotten to know at some of his different temp postings before he got hired on as a permanent employee at the law firm three months ago. And sure, it’s not like he had some great passion for reviewing and cataloging court filings and documents, but it paid the bills. And no one in his life judged him for it.

After Riley had earned her degree, she’d talked a lot about the two of them starting to save up for him to go back to school, researching which universities would take some or all of his previously-earned credits. But at some point, Drake realized that wasn’t really something he wanted. When he’d been younger, leaving Cordonia to get a Bachelor’s degree had felt like a way to establish himself as his own person, independent from the pressure of Court, separate from Liam. But now, he lived in a different city. He had a fiancée and a steady job and his own life already. He didn’t need a degree or a university experience to gain that independence.

And truth be told, with the variety of office jobs he’d held when he was still temping, he was pretty convinced that any career opportunities he could gain from having a university degree would not be jobs he actually wanted, or at least not ones he wanted any more than what he had now. He didn’t want to toil away at some corporate bullshit, striving just to inch up that ladder to get that next promotion. Plus, it turned out he was about as well-suited for office politics as he’d been for courtly politics, which probably shouldn’t have been a surprise. Additionally, if he went back to school, they would have to pay for six semesters, not just two like they’d had to for Riley. Earning that degree just seemed like a total waste of time and money.

Instead, they were slowly saving up for a variety of things these days. Their real honeymoon, not their would-be honeymoon they went on after they postponed their wedding. A road trip out to the West Coast. A bigger apartment for when they had kids. In all honesty, it turns out that he didn’t so much care what his job was. He wasn’t like Liam who found purpose and satisfaction from his work. Nor was he going to be like Maxwell and turn some zany endeavor into an honest-to-god career writing made-for-TV movies. And he did not have anywhere near the skill set and connections that Hana had, allowing her to open a international bakery chain that turned all its profits into disaster relief donations or grants and low interest small business loans for women in impoverished countries. If his job was able to allow him to take care of those he loved, he was happy enough. Taking care of his family and spending time with them was always going to be the most important thing to him.

His family was on his mind often these days. Savannah was just over two weeks from her due date, and Drake was excited to actually get to know his niece or nephew from the start this time. He and Riley had a trip out to Cordonia scheduled next month, soon enough after the due date that they would get to meet the baby early, but not so early that they would be totally unwelcome visitors. Riley could only get one week off, but Drake was staying for an extra week after she left to spend a little more time with his niece or nephew. He figured it was Savannah’s way of trying to make up for all the time he missed with Bartie when he was little. Regardless, he was looking forward to meeting the second baby Beaumont.

In general, life was just good at the moment. Honestly, things had been good for a while. It was a feeling Drake had never imagined experiencing so consistently. But his life was stable, he knew he and Riley were on a good path, and he had a handful of close friends, both in the city and in Cordonia. His job was tolerable for the pay he earned. He really didn’t feel like he could ask for much more. So he watched the news with a smile on his face, as Riley sat next to him, replying to the occasional tweet.

By the time the newscast got to weather, Drake was yawning. He knew it would just provide more ammo for Riley to tease him about being old, but he couldn’t help it. It was a weeknight, it was late, and he got up before she did.

“Is it bedtime at the retirement home?” she quipped almost on cue, her eyes not leaving her phone screen as she nudged him with her foot.

Drake just shook his head. “Yeah, yeah. You coming to bed soon?”

Riley shrugged. “Not right away. In a little bit.”

He nodded as he stood up, dropping a kiss to her forehead as he passed on his way to the bathroom and bedroom.

“Wait, you forgot your phone,” Riley called out. He spun and saw her extending her arm back over the arm of the couch toward him, her eyes still glued on her own screen. He stepped forward to grab it, but it started buzzing in her hand, clearly startling her as she let out a little yelp and brought the phone forward to see who was calling.

“Why is Maxwell calling you at… 6:25 in the morning?” she asked, quickly doing the time zone math.

He just shrugged as he took the phone from her and swiped to answer the call. “Maxwell, what are you doing up?”

“Break out the cigars! It’s a girl!”

It took Drake a few seconds to mentally catch up to Maxwell’s statement. “Wait, you mean Savannah-”

“Had the baby? Yup! Just under 3 kilos and screaming up a storm,” said Maxwell with a chuckle, “They’re still deciding on a name, but I think it’ll be Caroline Annabelle Beaumont. At least that’s what they were leaning to when I stepped out to give them some privacy and give you a call.”

“I thought someone was going to call me when she went into labor?”

“Well… Savannah kind of forbid anyone from calling you. She said that you would just worry too much and would be blowing up her phone when she needed to be focused on other things. She pointed out that it wouldn’t really make a difference, either, with you being in the Big Apple.”

Drake shook his head and sank back onto the couch. “Unreal.”

“Hey, I vouched for you, man! I told her that you would be fine, but her word was kind of final, you know? Given the situation and all. Anyway, she promised she’d give you a call when it was all over.”

“So why are you the one calling me then?”

“Ouch, I’m hurt. I thought we were best friend roomies!” Maxwell said with a ton of dramatic flair. Drake could practically picture him clutching his shirt in mock pain.

“That’s not…” he started with an eye roll, “What I meant was, why isn’t Savannah calling me to share the news herself?”

“She… well… she had to be rushed back for an emergency c-section.”

“What?” Drake felt his heart rate pick up instantly, even though he knew in his mind that whatever had been the danger was likely resolved at this point.

“Yeah… I had stepped out to the hallway with Dad when they were checking to see how, er… dilated she was, when suddenly the midwife was calling out ‘Cord!’ and in an instant there were dozens of staff running into her room.”

“And you’re just now telling me?” Drake growled out. He felt Riley’s hand on his knee. He knew he should probably put the phone on speaker so that Riley could hear more than one half of this conversation, but he was too focused on not missing any details to risk pulling the phone away from his ear.

“It all happened so quickly. One second she was joking with me in between contractions, the next she was being wheeled out of the room and a nurse was explaining to Bertrand the gear he was going to have to put on to go into the OR. Before Dad and I could even figure out what was going on, Bertrand was back and told us it was a girl.”

“He left her alone during everything?”

“Apparently, the only risk was to the baby, not to Savannah, but since she was attempting natural labor, they had to knock her out, I guess? Anyway, he was with her when she woke up, holding their little girl. I don’t know, the details kind of went over my head, but everyone is happy and healthy now!”

Drake just let out a massive sigh as he ran a hand over his face. It was a lot to process, but he didn’t think Maxwell would have told him all this info and then lied about Savannah and the baby being okay. He sometimes still felt strange, choosing to live so far away from his sister and Liam. He knew it wasn’t rational. He had certainly been more supportive to Savannah through this pregnancy than her first since he actually knew she was pregnant this time, but part of him felt guilty anytime something major happened and he wasn’t right there.

They were thoughts he didn’t like bringing up with Riley, because he wasn’t sure how to phrase it so that it didn’t sound like he resented her for the fact that he lived in a different country. He just had this feeling it would come across that way, when that wasn’t how he felt at all. But trying to work through the storm of emotions that bubbled up whenever something major happened to his friends or family in Cordonia when Maxwell had called to just let him know he had a niece was probably not the wisest decision. So, he swallowed his emotions down and focused on the good news. His sister had a little girl and it sounded like everyone was fine now.

“Well, tell Savannah and Bertrand congratulations and that I’ll call them in the morning here, alright? And thanks for calling me to let me know.”

“Of course! It’s my duty as part of our uncle brotherhood!”

“Don’t think for a second I’m going to start using that phrase, Maxwell.”

“I’ll convince you yet; you’ll see.”

Drake just shook his head as he said, “Bye, Maxwell.”

“Bye, Drake. Send my love to Riley. And prepare for a barrage of photos from yours truly.”

Drake placed his phone on the couch next to him and let out a sigh before facing Riley. Her phone was now tucked away somewhere as she stared at him, eyes wide and full of concern.

“What happened?”

“Savannah had the baby. A little girl.”

“What had you upset?”

“There were some complications, but he says everything’s fine now.”

Riley snaked her arms around him and gave him a little squeeze. “I’m sure it is. Is he gonna send some pictures?”

Drake nodded, and Riley curled up fully next to him on the couch, leaning her head against his shoulder, waiting for the photos of his niece. Their niece. Kind of.

He glanced down at the ring on her left hand that rested on his knee. Not for the first time, he wondered if they made the right call postponing their wedding for Savannah’s sake. It didn’t feel fair, that Bertrand and Savannah had it all - married with two kids - while they had put plans on pause. And sure, both Savannah and Bertrand had thanked them profusely. But watching as they moved forward with their lives while he and Riley had to plan and save and budget all over again just left a bitter taste in his mouth.

Sometimes, it felt like he should have just told his sister just how insane her ask was. He and Riley would have been married for almost eight months by this point. Maybe they would be talking about starting their own family. But deep down, Drake knew that nothing good came from playing the “what if” game. So he tried to just soak in the moment, at peace and at home with Riley, taking in pictures of Savannah’s new baby. He was happy, his sister and her new baby were fine, and his life was steady. He couldn’t really ask for anything more, could he?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Riley kicked her legs against the exam table and tugged her sweatshirt a little closer as she checked the time on her phone again. Dr. Mehta wasn’t running that late, but Riley was just a little anxious about this appointment. When she’d called to schedule her next depo injection, she was surprised that she’d been booked for a longer appointment with Dr. Mehta herself, not Val, Dr. Mehta’s nurse. She wasn’t sure if something was wrong or why this was happening. All she knew is that she needed to get her depo before their trip to Cordonia. It would be too late to wait until she got back.

She knew Drake was excited to get back and see everyone, as well as meet his new niece, Caroline. But, truth be told, Riley always found it a bit strange being back in Cordonia, even more so now that Hana had moved to London full time. Even though she’d been a nobody in New York for over two years, she still got recognized every time she and Drake had been back there. Last visit, they’d somehow even attracted enough attention that The Ruby Rise, one of the tabloids there, had run a piece speculating they had come back to enter into some sort of thruple with Liam. The whole thing had been a total mind fuck. Being back just always felt a little bit like stepping into a time capsule or a portal to this very weird time period of her life, one where she ended up grabbing Drake and bolting for the exit as soon as she could.

She supposed that wasn’t an entirely fair comparison. After all, it’s not like she considered her time in Cordonia a negative one. For the most part, she’d had a fun experience, and most of her closest friends came from that time in her life. But it still felt weird, returning to the world of balls and galas and courtly politics where she’d been on her best behavior for months. Now that she wasn’t formally a part of that circle, she didn’t hold back from swearing or snarking when she was there. It always caught at least a few people off guard and fully scandalized Bertrand consistently. Olivia had remarked at Savannah and Bertrand’s wedding that the potty-mouthed, bitchy version she was finally fully seeing was somehow more and less annoying at the same time.

Two sharp knocks jolted Riley out of her thoughts. She turned her head to the exam room door as Dr. Mehta entered with a smile, a clipboard in her hand.

“Sorry about the wait,” she said with a smile as she plopped down on the stool by the desk and rolled over to sit in front of Riley. “And you don’t need to be up there if you don’t want to. We just need to chat.”

Riley frowned at that, but Dr. Mehta must have noticed that, because she let out a little chuckle. “Nothing bad, I promise! I just wanted to talk to you about your contraceptive options. Honestly, I should have brought this up at your appointment back in December. I just did my math wrong when I was reviewing your chart then.”

“I’m really happy on the depo, doctor.”

She gave Riley a little smile as she said, “And I’m glad. But unfortunately Depo Provera is only safe to use for two years. And we’ve reached that point.”

Riley felt a wave of panic rush through her. “I can’t go back on the pill! I was always terrible about remembering to take it.” It was the truth. Back years ago, she’d been awful about remembering to take her pill, and it was almost never at the same time of day.

“That’s fine. You aren’t my only patient who struggles with that, I promise. That’s why I wanted to talk about other long term options for you. I’m assuming no plans to try for pregnancy in the next couple of months?”

“God no!”

She laughed at that. “Just making sure! I think for you, either an IUD or an implant are going to be the best options.” She passed Riley a couple of pamphlets and went over the relevant details, side effects, and benefits.

“So, if you want to think about what you want and give my office a call in the next couple of days, we can get you in next week,” Dr. Mehta concluded.

Riley shook her head. “I’m traveling out of the country next week.”

Dr. Mehta tilted her head back and forth a couple of times, then checked her watch. “Well, I doubt we’ll be able to get you in for an IUD placement this week, but if you have a little time now, I can place an implant today.”

So, maybe a half hour later, Riley found herself walking out of the OBGYN office suite, a thick bandage wrapped around her bicep, pleased that she was set for birth control for the next few years. Not only was it one less thing to worry about, but it felt like the sort of thing a responsible adult did. After living so long with no consideration for the future, flying by the seat of her pants, diving into massive decisions without a second of thought, she knew that times like this, where she planned for her long-term, represented a decent amount of progress.

It was strange, in a way, to be consistently thinking about the future. For so long, her life had been just her scraping by, hoping to claw her way into a slightly better situation. Getting to go and live with her mother again when she was in a shitty foster home. Getting to go and live in a foster home when her mother relapsed hard or when she had a shitty, creepy dealer as a boyfriend. Getting a new job that would pay more. Always scrambling, never dreaming beyond her next move.

But now, she had a white collar job that paid her a college graduate salary, she had a nice apartment, and she lived with her dog and her fiancé. No one would guess that she’d lived off food stamps and free school lunches and had bounced around from couch to couch and then from foster home to foster home. She lived the life of a well-adjusted woman, and that meant considering the long-term, not just the short term. And today she’d done just that. She felt responsible and capable. It was a nice feeling.

She’d been all ready to brag about her very mature decision, but when she got back to their apartment, things were chaotic. Anderson was bouncing off the walls, and Drake was livid on the phone with the airline about their upcoming flight, so she took out the dog, and by the time she got back, Drake basically had dinner on the table. All thoughts about her birth control were pushed out of her mind through dinner and some heated hands of poker, until she was getting ready for bed that evening. She was tossing her sweatshirt into the hamper and Drake was by the dresser he’d painted lime green for her. As she got undressed, he caught sight of the bandage on her arm for the first time.

“Riley, what happened?” he asked, darting over, eyes locked on her left arm as he sank down on the edge of the bed to inspect it closer.

She couldn’t help but smile. His reaction was so predictable. “Nothing.”

“But your arm…” He gently traced his fingers over her bandage, as if he would find some evidence of some horrible injury on her, something he somehow missed and needed to correct.

“New birth control. Bandage comes off tomorrow.”

“Oh. Okay.” He still seemed leery and continued his inspection of her arm. “Why’d you change? Was something wrong?”

Riley shrugged. “My doctor said that I had reached my limit for depo. Besides this one lasts three years. Seemed mad convenient.”

Drake’s fingers stopped their path with her words, his eyes jumping from the bandage up to her face. “Three years?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh.” He didn’t say anything else, just stood up, walked back to the dresser, and started rifling through his drawer.

“What?”

“It’s nothing, Liu.”

“Clearly it’s something,” she said, joining him by the dresser, forcing herself into his personal space until he made eye contact with her again. “You’ve never given a shit what I’ve done for birth control before. What’s up, Drake?”

He shook his head a little before returning to rifling through the drawer, flipping through old t-shirt after old t-shirt. “I told you - it’s nothing. Since you’re the one who has to deal with any side effects or whatever, it’s obviously your call. Have you seen my blue Cordonian football shirt?”

She let out a sigh. “Don’t change the subject.”

He took a moment before he responded, closing his eyes for just a second and taking a deep breath. “It’s stupid.” He opened his eyes again and gave his head a little shake, his eyes still glued on the drawer. “I just… I don’t know, I guess…”

“You want kids within three years.” She finished his thought for him, knowing without a doubt that was what he was struggling to tell her.

Drake finally looked up at her and shrugged. “I mean, it’s not like I have a timeline or anything, but… I don’t know. Three years is a long ways off, you know?”

She did know. “I agree; a lot can change in three years. In fact, three years ago, you were just some rude asshole who clearly thought I was a crown chaser.”

He rolled his eyes at that before quipping back, “I just didn’t realize someone recklessly impulsive enough to hop on a private jet with a couple of guys she’d known for less than 24 hours could survive to be your age. It was really a compliment, me assuming you at least had a goal in mind.”

“When did you realize that I was just flying by the seat of my pants and clearly had no plan whatsoever?”

“When you told Olivia you were going to slap her. That degree of lack of diplomacy just can’t be found in someone who knows how to become queen.”

“But you still thought I was going to be queen at that point.”

“I mean, I just assumed you were going to stumble your way into the role, but do you really want to get into why I thought you would be queen?”

She shook her head, laughing lightly as she placed her hands on his chest and nudged him backwards to their bed, straddling his lap as he sat down on the end. “No, I think the less said there, the better. Besides, we both know I would have been the world’s shittiest queen.”

Drake opened his mouth to respond to that, but Riley didn’t give him a chance, leaning in and kissing him. After a moment, he deepened the kiss, sliding one hand to her shoulder and running another through her hair. But a few seconds later, he pulled back slightly, his hand sliding over the bandage on her arm. He stared at it, tracing his fingers over it again and again.

“It’s an implant, Drake. I can get it removed if for some reason we are ready for kids in two years or whatever,” Riley said, sliding her fingers under his chin, redirecting his eyes from that damn bandage back to her face. “It’s not a big deal, okay?”

He swallowed roughly, but then nodded. “Okay, Liu.” And then his lips were back on hers, his hands working under her tank top, sliding it up bit by bit. She rolled her hips down against him, ready to move on from their conversation. She could think of far more enjoyable ways to spend the rest of their evening than the minutiae of her birth control choices after all. And as they tumbled backwards onto their bed, she tried not to think about the fact that Drake avoided touching her left arm for the rest of the night.

Permatag: @walkerswhiskeygirl @riley--walker @bebepac @ravenpuff02 @oofchoices @octobereighth @drakewalker04 @kimmiedoo5 @mfackenthal @thequeenofcronuts

The Royal Romance/The Royal Heir: @iaminlovewithtrr @ao719 @mskaneko @katedrakeohd @jovialyouthmusic @marshmallowsandfire @axwalker @kingliam2019 @sirbeepsalot @texaskitten30 @princessleac1 @ladyangel70 @dcbbw @yaushie

Drake x MC: @no-one-u-know @drakeandcamilleofvaltoria @iplaydrake @gibbles82 @drakewalkerisreal @notoriouscs @drakesensworld @drake-colt-lover-99

It Couldn’t Wait Another Moment: @shz256 @thequeenchoices @sunnyxdazed

#drake walker #drake x mc #trr fanfic #trr au #trr au fanfic #trr #choices fanfiction

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mermadrid96 · 3 years

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At 23 I had every reason to feel invincible. I walked out of post secondary already two years in my career field and paid off my debt. I had to keep moving. Get the apartment alone and continue on what I wanted to be my long journey of being someone worth remembering.

I don’t have any extreme addiction issues. Other than pot..that doesn’t count right? It probably does.

I just hold a deep sadness and obsession with suicidal ideation. The first time I tried to kill myself I was nine. I remember resisting the urge to jump in front of the subway long before that, probably 3 or 4 standing with my grandma going to church.

Like most, mental illness runs on both sides of my family. It’s true that you feel a sense of ease about letting yourself be ill when it’s already hereditary.

Distraction is the best way to manage most of my issues. Friends, movies, family. Working. I try to exercise and I’m sure doing that would help a lot more, but my main passion is sleep. Sleep is the closest to death us cowards of suicide can get. I dream a lot more now that I’ve been able to shake the constant weed smoking. I barely remember them and their usually shitty modifications of what’s happening in my world. But I’d take it over exhausted rest anyway.

When I got to Kingston in sept 2019 I was already sceptical. But it was easy to distract that away, new school new job new city to explore and a way to reinvent the version of myself I spent 23 years hating. Obviously, for someone so naturally fucking lazy and obsessed with the idea of being a tragedy headline, it didn’t work out. I went out and met people as usually encouraged by my friends back home. I got a job because I could not come off a lazy (I lasted one whole training shift before my sister let take the cop out I was giving myself) and I did my homework.

I’m not sure why I was so insistent on proving I could do this, when I already knew I couldn’t. Somehow, between touring the school and moving in six months later, I told myself every step of the way it was too late to look back. You’d be letting everyone down when you’ve finally earned a decent family title back.

It’s funny that sitting here at 25, almost finished with the youth therapy I transitioned to, I feel the same type of way.

I’ve gotten every therapist I’ve met with to beam with pride during sessions, something that is obviously more than necessary for me, I’ve been given the “stable label” by each psychiatrist, graduated each group therapy, and regained the family perspective of “she’s doing great now, actually.”

Falling back into needing more help than I did before isn’t an option. Letting small things like a credit card compromise, the death of a family pet or being in the middle of a domestic wasn’t an excuse to let your mental state become as fragile as it was.

The skills are on the papers, the binder is Color coded and you have the self help numbers now. You’re cured and everyone can get onboard with that. No one wants to get onboard with the heartache of watching a family member be shitty again. Or A friend that barely answers and is more selfish than the completely selfless person they chose to stay friends with through a hard time.

I do find a lot of what I’ve done will save me. But mostly, I know killing myself would save me. So where has any of this gotten me? Just in more debt than I ever was at the beginning, and three years behind my timeline, might as well just give in and let myself come to peace.

I’ve read more stories about established people who have gone through the same thoughts-with much worse circumstances- and their endings, while positive, aren’t what I see as happy. I mean- they didn’t kill themselves? And their not on an island alone with zero responsibilities or people to disappoint- so who cares? None these articles have left me satisfied. Just with a sense of reality; life isn’t great. And if you can’t handle your own shit well; you’ll probably have to go through it sober too.

A lot of my false worlds pictures me back in high school- being able to reinvent everything- getting more into the arts and then a college program that would actually make me money and was nothing close to the Hunan services sector; where all bleeding hearts come to die poor and with back problems. Enjoying things truly instead of not realizing 16 would of been the best opportunity I had to off myself. Immortalized before even living- a lazy cowards dream.

I keep hearing how much of my life o have left to figure things out, bc you know, 20s. But that’ll end in 5 years and then I’ll be asking what I’ve done to get where I want. Well I’ve napped and ignored a budget. Contemplated a lot and taken chances I didn’t want and missed ones that might of worked. Basically, always considering what if to the point where it’s wasted.

I feel full when I’m with my family, when I’m able to laugh with friends and when I’m able to think through these harder days. And, as any caring professional would say- when I’m enjoying my job. There is some truth to this being a profession and a passion. I’m proud of what I’ve done, but I can tell you I’d be just as proud of taking more vacations and a new front car bumper.

I also feel full when I can just cry uninterrupted, when I’ve accepted my plans for suicide and can let go of all conscious responsibility, when I’ve hurt myself, and whenever I don’t need to set an alarm to wake up.

#mentally unstable #mental illness #text post #tumblr

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cidnangarlond · 4 years

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Did someone say NOSY?? 😈 15 17 21 25 27 28 29 32 33 36 41 42 43, and 44 as well :]

15) Favorite movie

HMMMMMMM right now I’d say 2004′s “Night Watch” it is absolutely bonkers and I love it so so dearly

17) Someone you miss

My sister and my nephew! Like yes I saw them a couple weeks ago but still <3 and also my mom! She lives 2 hours north of here and man if I had a car I could spend weekends with her that’d be fun

21) What I love most about myself

Right now I’d say my pink hair bc I’ve been getting a lot of compliments on it!! Other than that my long as shit eyelashes so I never have to use mascara :) (not like I wear makeup anyway but You Know)

25) My idea of a perfect date

I’m a dinner and a movie kind of person, or just like. going to the aquarium and doing stuff like that and vibing, or hanging out at the beach just relaxing with some food :)

27) A description of the boy/girl I like

WELL they are a few inches taller than me and actually dyed their hair a light blue some time back so. inadvertently we now match dkjhsfkjds but they’re super funny and thoughtful and caring and I love talking to them about anything and everything <3

28) A description of the person I dislike most

I can literally namedrop this dude I went to high school with him and had classes w him 3 years in a row and he’s a meninist Trump supporter and so fucking annoying I hate him so much. I’m glad I never wanted to do doctor stuff because the college he’s at is where I would have gone and I don’t think I could have mentally handled seeing him in person around campus (Isaac I hate you so fucking much)

Highlight of my life was correcting him on something in senior year English class and my friend telling me at lunch that he looked so shocked a woman corrected him and I like my girl. you have NO idea how much happiness that fills me with

29) A reason I’ve lied to a friend

Most of the time it’s birthday related stuff or gift related stuff but there are times where it’s like, me not trying to hurt their feelings or pretending I don’t know about something to get the info on said situation which is pretty fun having all that information ad being able to do like. whatever I want with it. many times I could have ended friendships but I would have felt bad and people wouldn’t like me for that :/ anyway I still lie to a guy I knew in high school and say we’re friends when he’s really weird and I want him away from me Forever

32) What words upset me the most

Bro I hate being called a liar SO BAD. Like I can handle anything else, be it jealous, boring, irritating, etc but A LIAR? oh my god I’ll go apeshit I’ll get SO mad

33) What words make me feel the best about myself

Uhhhhhhh truth be told since my entire left all the praise I got was for my schoolwork and not Me as a person most things don’t make me Feel much of anything I’m just like cool yeah okay thanks. I do take pride in my work and getting validation on the great job I did but as for Myself. hmmmmmmm probably related to getting people gifts and stuff and seeing them get super happy and thank me because it’s just what they wanted. love that feeling :)

36) Where I would love to live

Ideally right near campus here, but in a better world where I have lots of money. anywhere but the United States

41) Where I want to be right now

Mentally I want to be stable but asleep in bed with no worries no homework no class or work, just vibing and sleeping or playing Skyrim and listening to a podcast

42) The last thing I ate

Peanut butter out of the jar but before that harvest cheddar Sun Chips

43) Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately

I don’t actually think he’s like. Mega Sexy but the last image I saw reblogged before this was Mads Mikkelsen and I’m gonna fuckin kms I hate y’all for making see the Hannibal renaissance now that it’s on Netflix like it’s 2013 again. If you asked me in 2013 tho I probably would have said he was hot. anyway I know she’s an anime woman but Noi Dorohedoro

44) A random fact about anything

I used an AMV I made in high school getting over 300k views on my college applications

Thank u Bren!! <3

#proteuslindo #asks #ask games #got into all 3 colleges though they weren't particularly hard to get into so like. Be Like That #for the record my advisor told me to do it I didn't get a big head and decide to do it #it was his idea and y'all can't yell at me for it #long post

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in-class-daydreams · 5 years

Text

Parlay (Kuroo x Reader) | Ch. 8

- Pairing: Kuroo Tetsurou x Reader (ft. Roommate Kenma)

Word Count: ~2, 200

Genres: Fluff, even angstier than the last chapter, general buffoonery

CW: Swearing, sadness I guess

Summary: (Y/N), a first-year student attending Tokyo U, is living with her best friend, Kozume Kenma. Little did she know, her life would be turned upside down after being exposed to Kenma’s volleyball teammate and close friend, Kuroo Tetsurou. One wrong move, and the parlay’s stakes only get higher each time.

Chapters: First | Previous | Next

It wasn’t that life was particularly difficult for (Y/N) right now. She had a stable job, good friends, and several healthy relationships with the people around her. Objectively, the university student was getting along decently well for herself.

When she came to Tokyo U, she had intended to go through her studies quickly and quietly, without any interference from social drama and pettiness. Her attraction to Kuroo was purely aesthetic when they first met. At first, he may have been a massive flirt, and truthfully, he seemed like every other boy she’d ever met, that is, until they started spending time together and having genuine conversations. On their frequent walks to Chisai, or when the two of them and Kenma would hang out at the apartment, Kuroo proved himself to be intelligent, endearing, and from the games she often saw, he was also excellent at taking care of his teammates. He truly was a caring person, not someone with an ulterior motive, unlike what she had originally thought.

It was only when he started spending time with her that she started actually noticing the little things about him. Getting offers to walk her home was nothing new to her, but she was surprised when Kuroo was the first one to ask about walking her to work, when there was no chance of her inviting him into her apartment for ‘coffee.’

She came to enjoy his company, finding it especially endearing when he stumbled over words and combined sentences in embarrassment. ‘I table,’ was a particular favorite of hers. The panicked look in his eyes after he’d said it nearly made her squeal aloud from its adorableness. It was so different from the playboy she met in the apartment that day, the one with honey eyes and a silver tongue. She hadn’t expected him to become so flustered around her.

Which was why what he said that day at the bonfire hurt. A lot.

(Y/N) was smart, caring, and had a fun, but relatively subdued personality, which people tended to take as her being fake or one-dimensional, so when Kuroo was so attentive to her, she really believed that he saw her as more of a person and less of a commodity.

Still, despite the hurt he caused her, she hadn’t meant to blow up on him like that. Sometimes she wondered if she’d gotten too angry with him for an expectation she had for him that he had not agreed to. Then, she heard his words echoing in her mind, telling her Oikawa could have anyone on campus, and he’d still choose her. That was true. She knew that much. But she hated the fact that after spending so much time with her, Kuroo didn’t value her thoughts and opinions enough to ask her about him. He had spent who-knows-how-long skirting around her, collecting information about her based on the words of the men in her life, not her own.

People had always expected her to act a certain way. Most of the time, she did what people expected of her in order to keep them pacified and out of her studies. She might have done that too often, to the point where others began to view her as an artifact, sealed in a glass case, and out of reach from the rest of the world, rather than as an equal human being.

To: Tooru (づ￣ ³￣)づ [9:12 am]: Can we talk?

From: Tooru (づ￣ ³￣)づ [9:20 am]: Of course~ Where did you wanna meet?

To: Tooru (づ￣ ³￣)づ [9:25 am]: Are you where I think you are?

From: Tooru (づ￣ ³￣)づ [9:27 am]: :DDD

To: Tooru (づ￣ ³￣)づ [9:29 am]: Okay, I’ll be there in a bit.

She smiled to herself as she made her way over to the usual spot where he would always be.

“You work too hard, Tooru,” (Y/N) said when she found him, practicing alone in the half-lit gym. Catching the volleyball in his hands, Oikawa turned to her with a bright smile.

“(Y/N)-chan! I’m less tired when I get to see you~” he flirted.

Amused, the girl grabbed a volleyball from the bin, and tossed it high in the air to the setter. He sent her a toss, perfect as always. The three-step approach to a spike, however, is very difficult to get the timing on if you’re an amateur. As expected, she swung and missed it by a mile.

Oikawa giggled in delight, “(Y/N)-chan, you’re so bad!”

The girl huffed at him, “Yeah, yeah, whatever, Mr. Volleyball Scholarship,” though she was smiling. The setter’s giggling subsided, and his chocolate brown orbs turned serious.

“So, what was it you wanted to talk to me about?”

“Actually,” she hesitated, “Nothing in particular. I just… I just missed you, I guess.”

If she had were standing any closer, she might have heard his breath hitch.

“You can’t say things like that, (Y/N)-chan! You’ll make me miss you too much,” his next words made her pause, “And I know you’re not coming back to me like I want you to.”

Staring at him, wide-eyed, she asked, “Wha-- Tooru, what are you talking about?”

Leaning against the gym wall, the tall brunette crossed his arms. His demeanor changed completely. To an outsider walking in, Oikawa would seem like an entirely different person.

“When we broke up, I figured that if we were soulmates, we’d find our way back to each other. So I let you go. I didn’t want you to feel like you were sharing me with volleyball, and I know you didn’t want me to worry about you. If I knew you’d fall for someone else, I can’t say I would have made the same choice.”

Deep in thought, (Y/N) leaned against the wall beside him. She slid down to sit on the gym floor.

“I think you would have. I would have begged you to,” she murmured. “Volleyball, for all the good things and the bad things it makes you feel, is a part of you. If you hadn’t chosen to break up over it, it would be like choosing someone else over your own heart, and I would hate for you to do that.”

Eyes glistening with tears she refused to let fall, she finished, “Even if it was for me.”

Tooru lowered himself to the ground as well. The gym was dead quiet. Only half the lights were actually on, and stray volleyballs littered the floor. Neither said a word, but they both couldn’t help but think about all the times they were sitting together just like this.

They’d lost count how many times (Y/N) met her then-boyfriend in the gym at all hours of the day while he practiced relentlessly.

“I had a feeling you’d be here.”

Second-year Oikawa Tooru looked up, feeling chastised by his girlfriend of almost 6 months. Once again, she’d caught him in the gym on a day he was meant to be resting.

‘You’ll hurt yourself one day, if you’re not careful!’ she’d told him once. Now, she just had a look of fond exasperation.

“Are you satisfied enough to take a break? We could go get takeout and watch movies at my house?” she offered.

Oikawa took a long look at the ball in his hands and sighed deeply.

“But we don’t have to, if you don’t feel like you can stop yet! I can just do homework on the bleachers until you’re ready.”

Immediately, he looked at her and smiled. Making his way over to her, he grabbed her hand and kissed the back of it.

“It’s okay. I want to spend some time with you,” he grinned with his signature charm.

The volleyball court felt like home for Oikawa, after spending so much time on it. When (Y/N) came along, it became their place. They’d gotten together on one.

‘Oikawa-kun! You need to go to the nurse!” a first-year (Y/N) had all but shrieked when the young and promising rising star of Seijoh’s volleyball team had walked up to her, clutching his bleeding lip.

“I will, but Iwa-chan says I can’t wait any longer,” he’d replied simply.

The girl’s brow furrowed in worry and frustration over the fact that he was here, in front of her, rather than with the nurse as she pressed a white handkerchief to the setter’s wound. It wasn’t like him to get hit in the face like that.

“What are you talking about?” she scolded, “You’re lucky the ball didn’t hit your nose! What’s going on with you?” Not once in all the matches she’d seen him play since middle school had she ever seen him so distracted.

“(Y/N)-chan, I like you.”

She looked up in surprise.

“I like you very much.”

Differences had been settled and firsts had been shared. They’d even shared their first kiss in a gym just like this.

“Ahh! (Y/N)-chan, I’m the guy! I’m supposed to kiss you for our first time!”

“It’s not my fault you’re too slow, Tooru.”

Just like this. They broke up in a gym just like this.

“I don’t want… I don’t want to play volleyball if it means I have to give you up,” third-year Oikawa had sobbed. His soon-to-be ex-girlfriend grabbed him in a hug.

“Hey. Hey, look at me. No one’s giving anyone up, okay? If I end up at Tokyo U, and it happens that we’re still madly in love, then we get back together, and everything is beautiful again.”

“And if not? My worst fear is that you’ll decide your heart belongs to someone else by then.”

“Then we’d love each other, still. We just wouldn’t be in love. Believe it or not, Tooru, but you and I? We’re together for life, okay? Romantic or not.”

Oikawa laughed through his tears, “When did you get so cool, (Y/N)-chan?”

Their red-rimmed eyes came together. She shrugged, “I’ve been in good company for the last few years.”

“You were right, you know.”

(Y/N) didn’t answer, knowing he would continue regardless.

“It doesn’t matter who you love now. I want to be in your life anyway,” he finished. Relieved, the girl moved closer to her closest friend and looked out into the dim, empty gym.

“You know, Tooru, the Greeks had six different words for love. Romantic love is only one,” she leaned her head on his shoulder. He rested his head on top of hers.

“Really? I guess I’ll have to be content with the other five.”

They stayed like this for a while before one of them broke the silence.

“So. Tetsu-chan, huh? I guess you like tall guys,” Oikawa chuckled. Confused, (Y/N) picked her head up off his shoulder to look up at him.

“I… I think I might have feelings for him.”

The brunette blanched.

“He had almost the same reaction! You’re just now realizing you might have feelings for him?! Come on, (Y/N)-chan, you two are really just book-smart, aren’t you?” he ranted, “Do the two of you make each other lose IQ points?”

The girl’s thoughtful expression turned to one of irritation.

“It doesn’t matter, though. He really pissed me off the other day.”

After recounting their fight, and the hurtful things they said to each other. Oikawa took a moment to take in everything he’d heard before he spoke.

“Honestly, (Y/N)-chan? I think you need to wait on this one. Tetsu-chan is a useless mess around you, so I think he needs time to pull himself together, and have an honest conversation with you. I’m not saying this is a one-sided thing, but I feel like this is something he needs to overcome.”

(Y/N) smiled softly.

“Tooru! When did you get so cool?”

The boy shrugged, “I’ve been in good company for the last few years.”

“And (Y/N)?” he continued, “You are the best thing that’s ever been mine.”

“... You see, this was a cute moment before you started quoting Taylor Swift.”

“What do you mean? It’s a love story, baby, just say ‘yes.’”

“Ugh! You’re the actual worst!” she swatted at him playfully. He grabbed her wrists, and they squabbled like that playfully for a while. Both of them had a feeling their relationship would be just fine.

Just then, the gym door opened. They jumped away from each other from the sudden noise.

“Hajime-kun!” (Y/N) greeted him enthusiastically. Iwaizumi greeted her with the same energy. Sensing the atmosphere of the room, the spiker explained that he came to find his lost kneepads before practice started and urged them to not mind him.

“I’m glad we had this talk. I’ll see you soon, (Y/N)-chan.,” he gave her a chaste kiss on the temple.

“I’d love that.”

As Kuroo was entering the locker room after practice, he saw the two Seijoh alumni deep in conversation. All the blood left his face when he heard the shorter of the two ask,

“Looks like you and (Y/N) are back together?”

Oikawa turned at the abrupt slamming of the door. The brunette groaned.

“What’s up with Tetsu?” Nishinoya asked, bewildered.

Frustrated, Oikawa dug through his bag to find his phone. Quickly dialing a number, he brought the phone to his ear.

“(Y/N)-chan? Forget what I said earlier, he’s a moron. Go talk to him.”

Taglist: @joyful-jimin @nekomas-kuroo

#haikyuu kuroo #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#haikyuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios #kuroo x reader #kuroo tetsuro x reader #kuroo tetsurou #oikawa #oikawa tōru #oikawa tooru #iwaizumi hajime #nishinoya yuu #kozume kenma

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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years

Text

Survey #289

“life by life / waste to waste / i’m the harbinger, the master of decay”

How often do you watch the news? Never. Would you rather read the news online? Yeah. Speaking of being online, what website do you visit the most? YouTube. Have you ever held a snake? Plenty. Ever caught a turtle? What about a crawfish? Turtles, yes, as a kid. Please do not take animals out of the wild for no good reason, people. I never touched crawfish because they looked scary lmao. Have you ever eaten gumbo? Idk what that is. Or do you not like spicy food? I enjoy spicy food, but not nearly as much as when I was a teen. Back then, I loved the adrenaline rush, now I just wanna enjoy my food like a normal person, lol. Do you own a bottle of hand sanitizer? Do you like how it smells? Does anyone NOT at this time? Or even before, really? But anyway, no, I don't like the smell. Do you own a pool table? What about an air hockey table? Or a foosball table? Okay so one of the coolest things we had when I was younger was this table that had different "tops" to change out to turn it into various games like these. Like, it was all in one. I don't THINK we still have it? Do you live with your parents? Are you cool with that? I live with my mom, and right now, it's the better idea for many reasons. I feel like shit about it, though. I'm nearly 25. Even if I was financially independent though, I would not be able to handle living all alone with my depression and all. When did/when do you want to move out? Hopefully when I have a stable job and long-term relationship. Have you ever been on a cruise? No. Are you better at catching or throwing? Probably throwing. I can't catch for shit. Do you ever play computer games? Just WoW nowadays. Did you used to have a lunchbox? Yeah, I went through a few. How often do you/did you bring your lunch to school? Whenever I didn't like what was on the menu. And mind you, I was and still am very picky. What was/is your favorite school lunch? I think the chicken sandwiches. When was the last time you wore a hat? What kind of hat was it? Oh yikes, who on Earth knows. It has to have been years. Maybe a Carolina Hurricanes one to a hockey game I went to with Dad. I don't really wear hats. Have you ever tried to ghost hunt? If so, did you catch anything? No. Do you prefer gold or silver? What about diamonds or pearls? Earrings or bracelets? Necklace or rings? Or are you not a jewelry person? Gold; diamonds; earrings; rings (I think). I don't care all that much about jewelry, though. Have you ever made jewelry? Not really, just kiddy crafts stuff. Do you have any unique hobbies? Meerkat RP. Have you ever broken a window? If so, what with? I don't believe so, no. Have you ever had surgery? If so, what on? Yeah. I had tubes put in my ears as a kid, and I had a cyst removed from... directly above my ass lmaoooo. Pilonidal cysts are awesome. Do you know any boys named Ashley or Lesley or Lynn? I don't believe so. Do you prefer coffee or hot chocolate? Hot chocolate, for sure. Do you like green tea? Tea is gross. Do you like to play Freecell? What about Hearts? Or Mahjong? I only know Mahjong, and I've never played that. I used to watch Mom play it on the computer as a kid, though. Idr the rules. Does your family own guns? No. Have you ever been given flowers? Were they from a relative or someone special? Both. Have you ever ridden on a motorcycle? No, and I doubt I will. I'm not like... really scared of them, as a matter of fact they seem really fun, they're just too risky for my liking. Have you ever seen a dead body? At an open-casket wake, yes. What does your umbrella look like? It's just an ordinary black one. Is anyone you know pregnant? HOLY FUCK, I think 90% of my Facebook friends are preggo. It seems like EVERYONE is expecting. Ha, one of my closest friends is legit pregnant with triplets after JUST having a son... She's in for a ride. Does your family do reunion gatherings? No, we're too spread out. What would you order to drink if you were in a bar right now? A strawberry sangria sounds pretty great. When was the last time you had a first kiss? I'm guessing you mean like, my first kiss with the last person I was with? A few summers ago when we were out on the porch making s'mores and dancing like some cheesy fucks lmao. How many homes have you ever lived in? If you don't count the apartment I wasn't an official resident of or staying with a friend for a month due to homelessness, we just moved into our fifth. Or sixth. It's too early when I'm taking this for math. Have you ever donated money to charity? Yeah. What’s your favourite type of exercise? Swimming. How many jobs have you had? Three or four... I'm not even sure because they were so incredibly short because fuck me and my anxiety, right? Who do you stalk the most through Facebook? Nobody. Have you ever deleted your Facebook, then brought it back? No. Write the first song that pops into your head: Well, I'm listening to "Freak On a Leash" right now. Has anything interesting come for you in the mail lately, besides bills? Nah. What is your main responsibility each day? Making sure my cat has food, water, and a clean litterbox. Do you feel like you fulfill those responsibilities? Yeah. I've slacked on the box before on bad mental health days where I can barely force myself to do anything, but I'm usually on top of it. Were you in the wrong during your last argument with someone? I don't recall what my last argument was. I think something w/ Mom. What bands did you used to love, that you don’t listen to much anymore? Hm. It's pretty rare I leave behind bands I've LOVED, so. Are you counting down to anything? tomorrow crihmus When was the last time you used spray paint? Oh, I have no idea. Maybe for an art project in HS? What color are the chairs at your kitchen table? Brown. Have you ever or do you plan on donating to any charities? Which ones? I've donated to some you would like pass by in the store if I had some spare coins or dollars on me, and when I cut my hair to as short as it is now, I donated it all to Children With Hair Loss. One of my most cherished memories is getting the certificate that it was used. I'm sure there's more, especially for school, but idr them. I 110% want to donate to charity streams when I have my own income source. Do you believe that life only gets harder or easier? I mean, this depends on your unique life. Do you know the middle name of the last person you kissed? Hm. I don't think Girt has a middle name, and I don't think Tyler ever told me because he was embarrassed by it. I know Sara's. Have you ever had sex with 2 different people in the same week? No. Who is the friendliest person you know? Probably my friend Girt. Last song you listened to? "Milk and Cookies" by Melanie Martinez is on rn. Something that annoys you about summer: Just ONE thing???? Just about everything does. The only thing I enjoy is all the flowers. Well hell, that's even mostly a spring thing. It's mostly just... plain green in the summer. At least here. Too hot for damn flowers to survive. Something that annoys you about winter: The fact that if it snows here, we get barely anything at all. e_e Are the doors of your fridge side by side or on top of one another? Side by side. When was the last time you burned a body part other than your hands/fingers? I actually just burned the roof of my mouth yesterday. If you’ve moved out of the house you were born in, do you know the people who live in that house now? Nope. What’s one food that you eat more than twice a week? Definitely some form of bread. Do you like zombie movies? No opinion, really. What's the grossest/worst thing you’ve ever seen in a public restroom? UGH. This one time I was in the bathroom with Colleen (it's a girl thing lmao) at a gas station, she did what she normally does and checks under the seat, aND IT WAS COVERED IN BLOOD. It was fucking disgusting. What’s the most wasteful thing you regularly do? Ugh... use plastic bags when disposing of Roman's "business" in the litterbox. I feel absolutely awful using one every other day. If I wait any longer than that, Mom gets mad. What’s the most difficult apology you’ve ever had to give? Probably to Jason via that letter. That honestly wasn't that difficult after having fully accepted I fucked up too, though. I don't generally find it hard to apologize when I know I was wrong. Have you ever volunteered in a hospital? If not, would you ever want to? Fuck no. They depress the hell out of me. What was your worst Halloween costume? Idk, I don't remember almost any of mine. When was the first time you can remember feeling mature? When I checked into the doctor by myself. Yes, I know how sad that is at nearly 25. Have you ever had a disappointing Christmas, or any disappointing holiday if you don’t celebrate Christmas? As a kid, there was just one where I was disappointed in what I got. SO fucking ungrateful looking back on that shit. I can't even imagine feeling anything like that now. I cherish Christmas deeply, especially now with nieces and a nephew who experience such joy at Christmastime, and I get to see my dad and his wife and stepson, too. At this age, it truly is about family to me. Do you have any character bandaids in your house right now, or just plain ones? I think we may have some princess ones and some "boy" kind for if the kids are ever over. AKA never because their dad is far more concerned about only including his family in their lives. I don't think Ryder's ever even visited our house, and he's like, four years old. My sister's husband's parents live directly down their road, but still. It hurts Mom and I a lot that we don't seem to matter when it comes to visiting *us*. Have you ever had to give a pet away? Yeah, plenty of times with our old cat nest. What's the junkiest junk food you’ve ever eaten? I dunno, probably something at Disney as a kid. Did you play pretend a lot as a child? Were there any recurring plots or themes? Yeah. I had my "good guys" - a family of alligators, deer (um they were married and had kids don't ask me, man), and some Pokemon figurines - and three big dinos that were the "bad guys." How do you feel about runny egg yolks? Egg yolk is fucking repulsive. The one and only way it's going down my throat is in scrambled eggs. Has a teacher ever tried to teach you something that was undeniably wrong? Not that I remember. If for some reason you had to give up one of your hobbies, which would you choose? I dunno, I have so few already... Maybe World of Warcraft? I almost quit it recently anyway because I was bored and yet it took up so much of my time, but it'd be hard now with a new expansion having just come out with soooo much to do. Man... I dunno. Have you ever hidden a relationship from your family? No. How much do you know about first aid? No more than the average joe, really. Which of your relatives do you know the least about? Sadly, probably my dad's oldest daughter. I know only two things about her with certainty. Have you ever meditated? If so, did it do anything for you? Yes, and all it does is make me fidgety and lets me think too much. When was the last time you got ice cream from a truck? Hm... maybe when I was at a beach when I was on vacation with a friend? I was like, a pre-teen then though, so it's been forever. Do you know any sex workers? If so, how do they feel about their job? Not that I'm aware of. And honestly, I have mixed feelings, but I think I lean more towards it being just fine so long as boundaries are set and there are very clear understandings with each other. And you ABSOLUTELY need to be safe about it. I'd far rather people get off with a consenting individual than in... y'know, other ways. It's not my business, anyway. What’s the biggest art project you’ve ever attempted? How did it go? In high school, I did a huge acrylic painting on burlap of meerkats grooming. I am to this day still so proud of it; I worked so hard on it. I love how the fur came out, especially. I do wish I could do over the background, though. What kind of wild animals do you see most frequently where you live? Excluding the obvious birds, there are tons of squirrels, and you see opossum and racoon roadkill a lot, tragically... Every now and then, you'll see deer in fields in the morning or dusk. Have you ever cooked anything other than s’mores over a fire? Yeah, hot dog.s Are there any items in your house that you use for something other than its intended purpose? I'm positive there's something. Probably everyone has an example. OH! Looking in just my room, Venus' terrarium has saran wrap covering the top to help keep humidity in. What do you hope the afterlife is like? Really, I go back and forth between hoping it's like... this state of nirvana and where you reunite with loved ones and experience infinite peace if deserved, or just the entire lack of existence anymore. I wonder sometimes if I'd want to be sentient forever. But, with me believing in a spirit realm, I don't think the latter is the case. What’s the worst behavior you’ve ever seen from a child? I think I once saw a kid smack their parent's arm or something? I don't really know. Have you ever planned an act of revenge? "No, but i daydream about it." <<<< Ha, yeah, I have. Do you and your parents share any of the same hobbies? Yeah. Mom surprised me when she told me she likes writing (even though I never see her do it), and Dad likes video games. Do you have any physical photo albums? Yes. Would you feel comfortable working at a sex shop? NOPE. Who was the worst friend you ever had? It's funny, Colleen did incredible things for me, but she also fits this description, too... Have you ever campaigned for a political candidate, or otherwise played an active role in an election? I mean, I voted, does that count? What’s the coolest hand-me-down you’ve ever gotten? What about the best one you’ve ever given? I have no idea. Do your parents and grandparents get along with each other? Dad got along perfectly fine with his parents, but my mom and her mother had a rocky history. Grammy treated her awfully sometimes. They'd been fine for many, many years, but Mom could never forget some things and always felt like she wasn't "good enough" in her eyes. I'm pretty sure Mom got along just fine with her dad. Do you have any framed photos of your pet(s)? Yes. Do you share photos of your pet(s) on social media? Um, duh. In 3 words, describe the last male you talked to. Who WAS the last guy I talked to... Do you own any of your favorite films on DVD? Which one(s)? No. Have you watched anything on Netflix lately? No. The last thing I did on Netflix was watch the first episode of The Witcher, and even though I liked it, I didn't continue. I just... don't enjoy watching TV, especially if it really requires you to pay attention. Have you ever heard someone snoring and thought it sounded cute? Besides animals, no. Are you particular about what you eat? In what way(s)? Yeah, I'm VERY picky, especially with textures. Is anyone close to you particular about what they eat? In what way(s)? Yes, my niece. She's autistic and has the symptom of being incredibly picky with things like textures, too. She is the one child I have ever known that doesn't really like eating. Is there someone in your life who can always make you smile? Always, no. Have you worn lipstick at any time recently? What color? No. I last wore black forever ago just to take pictures. Do you like wearing eyeshadow to match the color of your clothes? No; in the very rare instance I put on makeup, the eyeshadow is always black. What song reminds you of your childhood? Jesse McCartney songs, for sure. And Backstreet Boys. What’s your least favorite month? Maybe August. I'm sick and beyond tired of summer by that point. Nothing exciting going on. What do you do when you’re bored in class and not paying attention to the teacher? When I was in school, I honestly always paid attention because I wanted to pass. Have you ever baked a pie? No. Last person you shared food with? Mom. Do you know any mechanical stuff about cars? Definitely not. Were you smiling in the last picture taken of you? I don't think so, if that witchy photoshoot was the last time I had a pic taken of me. Do you answer the phones at your job? I did at two old jobs. Were you a hyper or mellow kid? I was kinda hyper. What are you drinking? Would you believe me if I answered "water"????? Did you get any compliments today? No. What last made you laugh? I think a moment in a WoW stream I was watching last night. Which of your friends is the easiest to talk to? Sara. What was your best summer ever? /shrug Do you have a favourite sibling? No. What color is the blanket/quilt on your bed? Navy and black. Favorite milkshake flavour? Just chocolate. Sometimes I'm in the mood for vanilla, though. Best year of your life? 2017. It's funny how that year started with a suicide attempt but wound up being the best year of my life. NEVER hestitate to reach out for help when you need it. How loud do you like your music in the car? Too loud lmao. Prefer to write or read? Write. Favourite apps? Pokemon GO, haha. What is a fruit you refuse to eat? Absolutely refuse? Maybe like, cantaloupe. Would you rather gain weight or lose weight? It'd to fuckin fantastic if I could lose 100 pounds. :^) I gained like thirty since moving... Would you rather gain height or lose height? Gain a tiny bit, I guess? But I'm fine with where I'm at. Are both your eyes the same color? Yes. Do you like glittery things? Yes, but not touching them and getting glitter everywhere. Ever watched a play in the theatre? Yes, at Disney World and also for school field trips. How many followers do you have on instagram? A depressing amount for someone desperately trying to be a photographer lmaooo. I mean I don't post on it a lot, so that doesn't help, but yeah. My secondary photography account (for roadkill/vulture culture stuff) has more than my main one. How about twitter? Don't use it. How much would I have to pay you to get you to do karaoke? I don't know, I'd be terrified of embarrassing myself. Last time you went ice skating? Never. Painting or drawing? Drawing, by far. Art or science? Now that's tough, but art. Dancing or singing? Dancing. History or geography? Geography is interesting. Favourite season? Autumn. Do you watch Supernatural? I did up to the end of Season 6. I loved it, I just was losing interest in TV, and also Jason and I broke up (we always watched it together) so I didn't want to watch something triggering memories. If you could change your eye color would you? Yes, to either a pure sapphire blue or emerald green. Are both your ears pierced? Yes. Are you lying down? Yes. Is there a tv in your room? No. Do you celebrate Thanksgiving? Yeah. Do you like fortune cookies? Yeah, they're oddly tasty. Do you have anxiety? You fuckin bet I do. Favorite clothing shop? RebelsMarket. How do you feel about peeing in a cup at the hospital? Is it embarrassing? No? It's too normal to be embarrassing. I mean I wrap toilet paper around it so you don't actually see, y'know, but I'm not embarrassed carrying that. Do you prefer fruit or vegetables? Fruit, by a long shot. What do you hate being called? "Bee." An old best friend who did nothing but lie about her entire life called me that. What color is the last car you were in? White. Ever studied abroad? No. Ever pulled out a tooth? Yeah, when I was a kid. Three celebrity crushes? Mark Fischbach, Link Neal, Hannah Hart. Ever been married? No. Are you proud of yourself? In most ways, no. Do you like grapes? Yep. How often do you cook for your family? Never. Is anyone in your family a lawyer? My cousin is, actually. Is anyone in your family an architect? Don't think so. Own any crystals? No. Favourite thing to write with? (pen, pencil, highlighter) Pencil. Top 5 favourite alcoholic drinks? I don't know, I haven't tried enough that I actually enjoy. Would you date someone bald? Yeah. Would you date someone who doesn’t want kids? I don't want kids either, so that's the only kind of person I'd date. That's something you can't really disagree on if you plan on lasting. Do you like candles? Sure. Favorite memory with a sibling? I dunno, probably something from when we were little kids playing together.

#survey #surveys #quiz #questions #lyrics: ''master of decay'' by 3teeth

3 notes · View notes

plasticbullet · 4 years

Note

BET YOU WON'T ANSWER THEM ALL

1: Full name

I've gotten creepy messages on here so I'm gonna keep that private lol

2: Age

3: 3 Fears

Abandonment, driving by semi-trucks, bugs

4: 3 things I love

Music, coffee, nature

5: 4 turn ons

Sense of humor, intelligence, height, big hands.. happy trails are sexy

6: 4 turn offs

If they're rude, judgy, closed-minded, or act fake

7: My best friend

Tammy

8: Sexual orientation

Straight

9: My best first date

I have no idea honestly. First dates are always weird

10: How tall am I

5′5″

11: What do I miss

Not having anxiety, traveling, when my boobs were bigger

12: What time was I born

11:30 pm

13: Favourite color

Yellow, green, blue

14: Do I have a crush

It’s more than a crush, but yes

15: Favourite quote

"This is cracking me out" - my kid

16: Favourite place

The forest, Havasupai, California

17: Favourite food

Just about anything Italian. Or with a lot of cheese

18: Do I use sarcasm

Pretty often

19: What am I listening to right now

Wind blowing through the window. It’s like 65 degrees here I love it

20: First thing I notice in a new person

If they seem nice or not

21: Shoe size

7 or 7.5 depending on the shoes

22: Eye color

Blue

23: Hair color

Reddish dark blonde

24: Favourite style of clothing

Grungy but hot

25: Ever done a prank call? Yes

27: Meaning behind my URL

I’ve answered this a couple times before, I’m too lazy

28: Favourite movie

Peanut Butter Falcon

29: Favourite song

All the ones that make me feel things the most

30: Favourite band

A Day to Remember, Brand New

31: How I feel right now

Relaxed

32: Someone I love

My son

33: My current relationship status

In something

34: My relationship with my parents

They’re cool

35: Favourite holiday

Christmas

36: Tattoos and piercing I have

Treble clef on the back of my neck, pierced ears

37: Tattoos and piercing I want

I’m good for now! Maybe more one day

38: The reason I joined Tumblr

I don’t even know, I’ve used this shit off and on since I was 16

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? Nope!

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? Yep

41: Have you ever kissed the last person you texted?

Nope

42: When did I last hold hands?

Held hands with my son today

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? Like 20 minutes

44: Have you shaved your legs in the past three days? Yes

45: Where am I right now? In my room

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?

Probably one of my friends lol

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?

Loud unless I’m sleepyy

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? No

49: Am I excited for anything? 🎄🎄🎄

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?

Yepp I think so

51: How often do I wear a fake smile?

Sometimes if I don't want my kid to sense my stress. Or during boring conversations

52: When was the last time I hugged someone?

Today

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?

🤷🤷🤷

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?

I don’t think so

55: What is something I disliked about today?

I was super sleepy, slept until some stressy dreams woke me up, and can't go back to sleep 🙃

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

That guy from My Octopus Teacher

57: What do I think about most?

People I love, things I have to do, and the randomest shit imaginable

58: What’s my strangest talent?

I barely have any normal talents

59: Do I have any strange phobias? No

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Behind it unless I feel cute

61: What was the last lie I told?

Something about Santa to my kid

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? Depends!

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

I feel like ghosts are possible, our energy could keep existing in some ways after our body dies who knows. Aliens exist for sure. Just not anywhere near our planet imo

64: Do I believe in magic? No

65: Do I believe in luck? I believe in good karma

66: What’s the weather like right now?

Kinda chilly/breezy but nice

67: What was the last book I’ve read?

Read Fox in Socks to my kid

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? No

69: Do I have any nicknames? Kind of

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?

One time a horse stepped on my foot and it was bruised for months lol

71: Do I spend money or save it? Both

72: Can I touch my nose with my tongue?

Noo! I just tried though hahah

73: Is there anything pink 10 feet from me?

A crayon

74: Favourite animal? Sloths but I love all animals

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?

Sleeping surprisingly

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?

I can't think of anyone I hate enough to make a good joke out of this

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?

Colorado Symphony version of The Stable Song by Gregory Alan Isakov

78: How can you win my heart?

Good conversations, make me laugh, show me you care, show me good music, etc

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?

Nice things, I don't know lol

80: What is my favorite word? Fuck

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr

I ♥️ all the ones I follow

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?

Realistically I would have a panic attack and say something stupid 😂

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? Not that I know of!

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?

Maybe the power to pause time so I could sleep or do whatever for however long I want without wasting any time. Or maybe the ability to teleport

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? Idk I can't think of one

86: What is my current desktop picture?

It’s the default one, I don’t go on it very often lol

87: Had sex? Yes

88: Bought condoms? No the guys always did that

89: Gotten pregnant? Yes

90: Failed a class? No

91: Kissed a boy? Yes

92: Kissed a girl? Yes

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? Yes

94: Had a job? Yes

95: Left the house without my wallet?

Yepp I used to forget it all the time

96: Bullied someone on the internet?

No I'm not a pussy ass bitch

97: Had sex in public?

If you count in a parked car, yes

98: Played on a sports team? Yes

99: Smoked weed? Yes

100: Did drugs? A while ago

101: Smoked cigarettes? Yes, quit a while ago

102: Drank alcohol? Yes

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?

Nope! I tried one time just for fucks and it did not last long

104: Been overweight? No

105: Been underweight? Yes

106: Been to a wedding? Yes

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? Yes

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?

Yes. Marathons and binge sessions

109: Been outside my home country? Yes, Mexico

110: Gotten my heart broken? Yes

111: Been to a professional sports game? Yes

112: Broken a bone? Nope

113: Cut myself? Yes

114: Been to prom? Yes

115: Been in an airplane? Lots of times

116: Fly by helicopter? No

117: What concerts have I been to?

Oh fuck I know I’ll leave some out. Kelly Clarkson (don’t judge me I was 12), All Time Low, Avenged Sevenfold, Papa Roach, Blink-182, Fall Out Boy, Flogging Molly, Jason Mraz, Ed Sheeran, Atreyu, Escape the Fate, went to Warped Tour a couple times in high school so a bunch more emo bands

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? No

119: Learned another language?

A decent amount of Spanish

120: Wore make up? Frequently

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? Yes

122: Had oral sex? Yes

123: Dyed my hair? Yes

124: Voted in a presidential election? Yes

125: Rode in an ambulance? No those are expensive

126: Had a surgery?

Does getting my wisdom teeth removed count

127: Met someone famous?

Saw Alice Cooper at a Cheesecake Factory one time

128: Stalked someone on a social network?

Not stalked, more like checked up on lol

129: Peed outside? On camping trips

130: Been fishing? Yes

131: Helped with charity? Yes

132: Been rejected by a crush? Probably!

133: Broken a mirror? No

134: What do I want for my birthday?

Christmas is coming first idk

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?

I have one kid whose name I won’t be posting publicly, annnd I’m open to having another kid sometime in the future but not set on it. No names in mind for that lol

136: Was I named after anyone?

My parents are Catholic so they named me after St. Kieran

137: Do I like my handwriting? It’s alright idk

138: What was my favourite toy as a child?

I liked my toy horses and barbies the most probably

139: Favourite TV Show?

Idk I have lots of favorites. I've probably rewatched The Office the most out of all of them tho

140: Where do I want to live when older?

Somewhere chill, surrounded by lots of nature. Arizona doesn’t have much of that lol

141: Play any musical instrument?

I can play the piano but it’s been a while

142: One of my scars, how did I get it?

One on my knee from a car accident

143: Favourite pizza topping?

I love onions on my pizzaaaa

144: Am I afraid of the dark?

No, unless I watched a scary movie or something

145: Am I afraid of heights? No

146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?

Got caught sneaking out when I was 15. Countless other things I can’t remember

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? Yep!

148: What I’m really bad at

Doing things on time, paying attention when I’m not interested in something

149: What my greatest achievements are

Having an amazing kid, got first prize in the science fair in 6th grade for gluing a fucking key finder mechanism to the back of a shoe charm (shoe finder), was on time to something once

150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me

Idkkk

151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery

Give a lot of it to some family, save a lot of it, get a new house, set aside a savings for my kid, buy a sloth or something

152: What do I like about myself

Fuck I don't know, I try my best hahah

153: My closest Tumblr friend

@spencerwithac

154: Something I fantasize about

Sex in public

155: Any question you’d like?

Nope this was plenty thank you

#🖕

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moonlightrichie · 5 years

Photo

Why Did the Cute Guy Cross the Road?

A repost of my Reddie meet-cute. Wanted to post it properly on here.

Summary:

Richie is really out there falling in love with any cute guy who smiles at him, even when said cute guy is just crossing the street.

Word Count: 4722 Pairing: Reddie

READ ON AO3 HERE

Richie Tozier was 25 years old. He had a steady job at the radio station, cracking funny (anyone else would say bad) jokes, playing music, doing his voices, getting listened to by thousands every day. He lived in his own apartment, had his own car and cooked his own food. He had great friends. He would go out drinking with Ben, Bill and Stan every Friday, eat lunch with Beverly every Wednesday, and spend time with the four of them together every Sunday. They would watch movies, go bowling, go on drives, picnics, whatever they felt like doing that day. It was nice to have the routine.

In a way you could say he had his shit together, living his best life, doing pretty well. He was making money, being social, eating semi-healthy, and even sometimes working out when he had the time (he couldn’t believe it either). And in a way it was also true. There were parts of his life he really had going for himself. His friends would agree on this.

There was only one thing Richie did not have going for himself. When it came to his love life, all of his friends would tell you he was a mess. At least three times a month, he would call the four of them in their group chat and tell them he had met the love of his life. A girl he locked eyes with at the supermarket, a guy who had smiled at him on the train, a girl who had let him cut in line at Starbucks, all people Richie had claimed to be in love with. Then Richie would talk about them non-stop for the next three days before inevitably forgetting them, and repeat. It was getting ridiculous.

Richie knew himself that his love life was a mess. He just didn’t want to admit it. All his friends were in stable relationships and were planning their futures. Beverly had just moved in with Ben, Bill and Audra were engaged, and Stan and Patty were getting a dog together. All Richie had was a goldfish named Deborah. He had decorated her fish bowl with all sorts of nice things. There was a tiny house with a blue seashell ceiling, some cute seaweed in Deb’s little fish garden, white sand, three pink rocks. He was pretty proud of it. He wanted to buy a big aquarium at some point with salt-water fish, he thought they were prettier, no offense to Deb.

He was still waiting for the perfect person to meet, and just knowing, really knowing, that they were the one. Sure, he always told his friends that he was certain he had met the love of his life, even tricking himself into believing it sometimes, but deep inside he knew that no, of course not. Eye contact wasn’t enough to know if someone was the right person for him, and he wasn’t stupid enough to actually think that either, no matter what his friends thought.

Richie decided then, as he was driving on his way home from work, that he wasn’t going to tell his friends that he had met his soulmate until he was absolutely sure.

The sun was in its final moments before setting, lighting up the world around him in golden tones. It was undeniably beautiful, and his stupid lovesick brain couldn’t help but think how perfect it would be to meet someone with the sun looking like that. It seemed like he couldn’t ever stop imagining romantic scenarios.

A soft tune was playing on the radio, something he hadn’t heard before. The melody really fitted with the sun’s warm embrace. Sunlight reflected in the windows of the buildings around him, enveloping him like a blanket, and he smiled.

So what if he was single. He was happy, content with how his life was, and damn it if he wasn’t going to enjoy it. The love of his life would come into his life when the time was right.

With that thought swirling around in his head and the sun shining into his eyes, he almost didn’t see the man waiting to cross the street. He was looking right at Richie’s car, obviously waiting to see if he would stop for him. Richie slowed down; barely managing to stop in front of the crossing, noticing the man was probably around his age. The man locked eyes with him, tan skin glowing in the sun, soft blonde locks moving with the wind, and Richie was entirely mesmerized.

Angel. That was the only word coming to mind as the glow from the sun surrounded the man’s head like a halo, turning his blonde hair golden. And then the man smiled, cheeks round, freckles dusted across his nose. Finally regaining control over his facial muscles, Richie managed a smile in return. He grabbed his sunglasses and moved them up into his curls, squinting at the man before putting both his hands back on the wheel.

With sparkling eyes and pink lips quirked upwards, the man nodded in gratitude, and Richie grinned wider, showing his teeth. The man’s gaze drifted off as he started crossing the road, and Richie was in love.

In an instant, everything was in slow motion. The man took a step, a slight bounce to it, arms swinging faintly by his sides. The sun disappeared behind him as he strode in front of it, blocking the light and creating a silhouette comparable to one of a Greek god. His pink denim jacket fit perfectly around his shoulders, the color of it making his tanned skin glow. As the sun once again emerged behind his head, the blonde waves looked platinum in the brightness.

The man was about halfway across the road when he turned his head to meet Richie’s eyes once more, eyes gleaming cheekily, almost as if he knew he had Richie’s full attention. His cheeks were a rosy color, smile still ghosting over his lips, and Richie couldn’t do anything but stare.

He knew he probably looked ridiculous, being so obvious with his staring, glasses in his chaotic hair, squinting through the sunlight.

It seemed like a lifetime had passed when the man took his last step over the road. He took a last glance at Richie, smiling shyly. Richie returned the smile; more reserved this time, realizing with a broken heart that this was when the two of them parted ways. It felt like a mutual conversation had passed between their eyes, both of them feeling the sparks. Or maybe it was wishful thinking, and Richie was being silly again. The man raised his hand then, giving a small wave, a gloomy goodbye. Richie nodded his head, waving back.

The man winked at him before turning and starting to walk away. Wanting to look at him for as long as he could, Richie kept his eyes locked on the man. He had a regal presence in his steps, moving his hips in light washed denim jeans. Obviously showing off, he ran a hand through his hair, sunlight hitting it just right. He definitely knew he had Richie’s attention.

A blaring horn rang through the air, and Richie jumped out of his staring, the sound not making any sense in his trance-like state. He looked in the rear view mirror, seeing a car behind him, an older woman glaring in the front seat. Heat pooling in his cheeks, he raised his arm as an apology. Then he quickly threw a glance towards the man. He had turned back around at the sound, and it looked like he was laughing. Richie smiled sheepishly in return, shrugging his shoulders in an ‘oops’-motion, not letting himself be too embarrassed about it.

The woman behind him hit the horn a second time, and Richie finally managed to react. Pushing the gas pedal sadly, he got the car driving.

The man disappeared when Richie drove around a corner not long after.

Two day went by, and Richie could not for the life of him stop thinking about the beautiful man he had seen. Kind of ironic how just seconds before the two of them had locked eyes, he had promised himself to not tell his friends about the new love of his life until he was absolutely certain it was real.

He had picked up his phone more times than he could count, finger hovering over the call-button on the group chat before sulkily deciding not to. With tingling fingers and bouncing legs, he had sat through lunch with Beverly, biting his bottom lip several times to stop himself from spilling everything. He had gotten questionable glances from her all throughout the meal, obviously not being as discreet as he had hoped. She hadn’t asked about it.

On Friday night, now four days since he’d seen the beautiful man, he had gone out with Ben, Bill and Stan to their favorite bar, just like they always did. He had to restrain himself from drinking too much, knowing he would burst if he passed a certain point of intoxication. They had all been looking at each other in confusion when he kept zoning out, fingers tapping unsteady rhythms on his pint glass.

Then Sunday came, and all five of them together with Patty and Audra decided to have a barbeque in the summer sun. They decided to have it at Stan and Patty’s house, as they were the only ones with a back yard. Six days had passed since Richie had fallen in love with the man crossing the street, and he was still very much infatuated. Usually his small stupid crushes on strangers only lasted about three days, but this time he couldn’t stop thinking about the guy.

He knew he was close to cracking, and having to spend the day with all of his friends and their lovers, he just figured he wouldn’t last even for an hour.

They were all eating hamburgers and drinking red wine around Stan and Patty’s garden table when Richie finally cracked. Ben was telling a story about his day at work, and everyone was laughing, and so was Richie, but he didn’t really follow.

“And then he takes out a box from the fridge and says: ‘I’m so tired of people leaving their leftovers to rot in our fridge’ and something about having seen it lay there for a month. And that’s when I recognize it as my box of strawberries that I had brought with me a month ago and forgotten about”, Ben laughed.

“No way”, Stan said.

“And I’m just, like, holy shit, but instead I just nod my head and say: ‘I know, right? I can’t believe someone would do that’, and then he throws the entire box in the trash. And sure, I don’t want the strawberries, but the box was mine from home, so as soon as he walks away, I go over to the trash to pick it up.”

“I feel like I know where this is going”, Audra laughed.

“And just as I’m holding the box, he actually comes back around the corner with a co-worker.”

“Oh no”, Patty said, putting her hands in front of her face.

“And he looks at me, and down on the box I just picked up from the trash, and I say ‘I knew I recognized that box’, and he just laughs and shakes his head, but seriously I thought I was going to die from embarrassement.”

Everyone continued laughing around the table, and Richie laughed with them, deciding now was the time.

“Uhm.” He cleared his throat. “Guys,” he said, getting their attention. “I have to tell you something I’ve been dying to say for almost a week now.”

Beverly raised her eyebrows over her wine glass. “Good news, I’m hoping?”

“Totally.”

“So what is it?”

“Okay, so six days ago.” He paused for suspense, because he liked to be dramatic like that. “I met…” He held up a finger. “… The love of my life.”

Beverly, Stan and Bill all groaned at the same time.

Audra gasped. “Wow, Richie, that’s so great!”

“I know, thank you.” Richie smiled at her.

“No, he does this all the time”, Stan sighed.

“Honestly surprised he hasn’t mentioned it until now”, Beverly said.

“Yeah, I’m impressed, Ruh-Richie”, Bill added.

“Okay, first of all, rude.” Richie leaned back in his chair, pretending to glare at his friends. “Second of all, I haven’t even told you about him yet.”

They all sighed fondly at him.

“Okay, well, did you at least get his name this time?” Stan asked.

Richie stopped for a second, considering his options. “Uhm, yes.” Lying was probably a mistake.

“What’s his name then?”

As soon as the question was out of Stan’s mouth, every single boy-name in existence disappeared from Richie’s brain. He couldn’t even remember his own name in that moment. For some reason the only word coming to mind was ‘pencil’. Yup, definitely a mistake.

“Uhm,” he fumbled. “Edmund?”

Stan narrowed his eyes. “Why did you say it like a question?”

“Uhm…”

“His name is not Edmund.”

“Hey, his name could totally be Edmund.”

“Oh, my God”, Beverly rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. “So you don’t know his name, but how did you meet then?”

“Okay, so we didn’t technically meet, but…”

“No, stop”, Stan interrupted. “This is going to be one of those ‘I locked eyes with a cute guy while grocery shopping, and now I’m in love with him’ things. And Richie, I know you’re a hopeless romantic and believe in all that ‘love at first sight’-stuff, but you do realize love doesn’t actually work that way, right?”

Patty grabbed Stan’s hand. “Babe, don’t be so harsh”, she said softly.

“No, he needs to hear this”, Stan replied, but kept a hold on her hand. “Richie, you know we’re totally rooting for you to find someone, and will support you one hundred percent when you do. But just because you see someone cute and they smile at you, that doesn’t mean they’re the love of your life. You need to at least talk to them before you decide.”

Richie exhaled tiredly, prepared for a negative response, but definitely not for a lecture. “Listen, Stan, I know that, okay?” He opened his mouth and closed it again, feeling pretty dumb, not really knowing what to say. “I just had a different feeling in my stomach this time. I know I’ve told you guys I’ve met my soulmate more times than I can count, but I’m not stupid. Of course I know that I don’t actually love them, but something was special this time, I could feel it.”

“Why don’t you tell us about him?” Patty said, smiling warmly.

Richie looked over at Stan with raised eyebrows, waiting for approval to continue. Stan sighed, but then his lips stretched out in a smile. “Tell us, Richie.”

Instantly, Richie’s eyes lit up like fireworks. “Of course, Stan the man, your wish is my command.”

“It’s not really a wish…”

“It was a beautiful Monday evening”, Richie interrupted loudly, “and I was driving on my way home from work, and I get to a crossing. And there stands the fucking most beautiful man I have ever seen, even more beautiful than you, Stan the Man,” Richie winked at him, “and he looks like this Greek god, like, absolutely stunning. And he smiles at me in gratitude for stopping, and I swear to Jesus, he was swinging his hips knowing he had my attention, and I am so in love with him.” Richie was waving his arms around while rambling. “Fucking soulmate, I swear. I can’t stop thinking about him.” He fell back into his chair.

A moment of silence passed through the group.

“Seriously, why duh-didn’t you talk tuh-to him?” Bill asked. “If you’re suh-so sure he was your s-soulmate?”

Richie shrugged. “Well, I didn’t want to seem like a creep, and the old lady in the car behind me kept pressing her horn to get me to continue driving, I don’t know, I’m stupid, okay?”

“Yeah, you are kind of stupid”, Beverly said. “But if it’s been six days, don’t think I didn’t notice this is the longest one of your crushes has lasted, and you’re still thinking about him, I feel like that has to mean something, no?” She looked around the table for confirmation. Audra, Patty and Ben were all nodding. “And lets all just ignore the fact that you’re basing all of this on looks, because that would make you seem kind of shallow.” She winked at him. He flipped her off.

“Yeah, you should have talked to him”, Ben said.

Richie sighed. “I know. Every time I’ve passed that same crossing, I’ve hoped to see him again, but unfortunately…” he drifted off, an unsure expression on his face.

“Well, if you do ever see him, promise me you’ll talk to him, no matter the situation you’re in, no matter how awkward it would be, just promise me.” Beverly held out her right pinky, a challenging yet hopeful look in her eyes.

Richie looked around the table. They were all smiling and nodding at him. “I promise”, he said and locked their pinkies together.

The next day came and it was Monday once again. Exactly one week had now passed.

As Richie was driving on his way home from work, he tried to not hope too much that the man would be at the same crossing. With the rain pouring down around him, the wipers going crazy on the car’s windshields, there were barely any people out walking. He didn’t blame them. If he as much as stepped out of his car, he knew he’d end up soaked in seconds.

People were all probably cuddled up with their significant others on the couch, watching movies, and Richie would kill to be doing the same. Just need to get that significant other first.

At this point, Richie was starting to get upset with himself for not being able to find someone. Everything else in his life was pretty great, and exactly how he wanted it to be. Now all he wanted was someone to share it with.

He turned a corner, and he could see the crossing in the far distance. A hope was building in his chest, massive and stupidly unnecessary. There were a few people that could be seen walking around, some even without umbrellas. Some of them looked like they couldn’t care less about the rain while others were running in panic to take shelter.

The crossing was coming up next, and there was someone walking towards it. This person was the only chance to be the man Richie was hoping to see, and he made the decision to drive slower so they’d make it there at the same time. As he got closer, he could see it was a man, and his heart started pounding just a little bit faster. The man lifted his umbrella and looked over at Richie just as he pulled to a stop in front of the crossing.

It’s not him.

Richie tried to swallow down his disappointment, but it was hard to ignore the feeling of his heart falling to the pit of his stomach. He watched the man walk over the crossing, heaviness in his chest.

The street was empty except for his car, and he let himself drop his head to the steering wheel, closing his eyes. Fuck this. He’d missed his chance. It was time to let it go. He sighed loudly, the sound of the rain hitting the roof echoing through the vehicle. The weather certainly matched the sadness he was feeling. It was almost like the sky was crying for him.

He raised his head, his sight of the world blurred by the water on his windows, and pressed the gas carefully, ready to get home and under the covers in his bed. Movement in the corner of his vision caused him to stop abruptly. Someone was just about to cross the road, but had halted just before stepping off the sidewalk as he’d started driving. Eyes met his, and Richie’s heart skipped a beat.

It’s him. Holy shit, it’s him.

The man was holding a rainbow umbrella, the bottom of his jeans wet from the rain. Richie wasn’t sure the man could even see into his car, but a flicker of recognition seemed to flash over the man’s eyes. He then raised his available arm and gave a little wave, a small smile playing on his lips. Richie was in absolute awe.

It’s now or never.

Richie had not prepared for what to do if he actually saw the man again, and a moment of complete panic coursed through his veins. He raised his hand to wave back, smiling widely. Seeing that he had the man’s attention, he needed to get his message across before he looked away and started walking. His wave instantly turned into a point directed at the man. He then proceeded to frantically try to sign for the man to cross the road and wait for him, flailing both of his arms. He mouthed please wait as clearly as he could all the while the man cocked his head to the side, a confused smile on his lips.

Richie then pointed to the bus stop just a small distance away, and the man seemed to understand. He nodded carefully, a small blush seeming to spread over his face. After he had crossed the road, Richie drove over to the bus stop, constantly checking to make sure the man wasn’t walking away.

He wasn’t.

Hopefully no buses were coming anytime soon.

Richie stopped the car, looking in the rearview mirror, seeing the man approaching him. Taking a deep breath, he opened the door and stepped out.

The rain soaked through his bomber jacket in seconds.

“You could’ve just opened your car window, you know?”

Richie looked up as the man stopped in front of him. He let out a small laugh. “It was a spontaneous decision, I wasn’t really thinking.”

The man smiled widely. ”You’re the man who stopped for me last week, right?”

Richie nodded. “Yeah, I am.”

“Kind of a cool coincidence that you stop for me at the exact same crossing two Mondays in a row at the exact same time.”

Richie put a hand through his wet hair, the rain fogging up his glasses. “Yeah, I’m on my way home from work.”

The man seemed to remember it was raining, and Richie was standing in the middle of the pour. “Oh shit, hey, get under here.” He waved Richie over, lifting his umbrella to fit him underneath. Richie took off his glasses to dry them quickly before putting them back on. “What do you do for work?”

Richie was freaking out about how good this was going. Being so close to the man made it easy to really get a good look at him. Even without the sun shining, his tan skin still seemed to have a glow to it. With shining eyes and a smile so blinding they didn’t even need the sun, he was looking up at Richie, and Richie sincerely thought he was dreaming. Angel.

“I work at the local radio station”, he replied. “Just cracking jokes and playing music mostly.”

“Oh! That’s so cool. Maybe I’ve heard you on air? I don’t know. I don’t really listen to much radio to be honest, sorry.” The man smiled sheepishly.

Richie laughed. “That’s fine, didn’t expect you to.”

They looked at each other for a few moments, both of them smiling softly.

“What about you?” Richie asked.

“What about me?”

“Are you also on your way home from work?”

“No, I uh…” He blushed and looked away briefly. “I recently started taking piano lessons on Mondays, so I’m on my way home now. I actually considered just staying home today because of the rain, but my roommate Mike forced me to go.” He chuckled to himself. “He knows I don’t really care about the rain, but rather used it as an excuse to not go.”

“Why didn’t you want to go?”

The man shrugged. “I’m not very good yet, and I also forgot to practice the scales I was told to learn for this lesson.”

Richie made a quick decision. “I’d love to hear you play sometime.”

The man narrowed his eyes. “Are you asking me out?”

“I really tried not being too obvious.” Richie bumped the man’s shoulder with his own.

They both laughed lightly. The rain was still pouring down around them, but the sun had just started to peak through the clouds, filling the town with a soft light. Richie was certain that had to mean something.

“I mean, sure”, the man said softly. “But I’m still very terrible at it, just warning you.”

“I don’t mind.”

The man looked at Richie as if he was studying him. “This was kind of a weird way to meet someone.” He was shaking his head as if he couldn’t believe what was happening.

“I guess so”, Richie said. “But I thought you were really cute the first time I saw you, and correct me if I’m wrong, but I felt like we had a mutual moment, so when I saw you again, I knew I had to talk to you.”

The man just stared at him, and Richie started freaking out about revealing too much and probably coming off as a creep.

“I uhm- I can be very forward and honest, sorry if that came out the wrong way”, he backtracked. If he had managed to mess this up, he was seriously going to flush himself down the toilet to float in the sewer with his departed goldfishes.

The man just smiled. “No, I like that you know what you want. And I thought you were really cute too”, he winked, “squinting through the sunlight, being tooted at by the car behind you.”

Richie felt heat pooling in his cheeks immediately. He laughed awkwardly. “You noticed that, huh?”

The man laughed. “I noticed.”

“It makes a funny story though. Might have to tell it on my radio show.”

“I guess I’ll have to start listening to it then.”

“Oh, definitely.”

Silence settled over them, both looking at the other shyly.

“Are you doing anything tomorrow?” the man asked. “I know a really great coffee place.”

Richie broke into a big grin, knowing his semi-crooked teeth were showing, but he didn’t care about that one single bit. “Sounds great.”

The man was beaming back at him just as big. He reached into his coat, pulling his phone out and giving it to Richie. “Just put in your number, and I’ll text you.”

As he put his digits into the phone, he checked four times to make sure he had written the right numbers. He considered saving the name under something lame, but decided to just write ‘Richie’ with a heart-eyes emoji.

“There you go.” Their hands brushed when he handed the phone back over, and all of his body focused on that spot, unable to feel anything other than the tingles in his fingers.

The man looked down on his phone, smiling widely. “Well, Richie, I’ll text you as soon as I’m inside and safe from the rain.”

“I sure hope so.”

Another beat of silence.

“I should probably head home, but I’m really happy I met you”, the man smiled softly.

“Me too”, Richie said. “But I’ll see you tomorrow, right?”

“Definitely.”

They looked at each other, and then the man pushed up on his toes, kissing Richie’s cheek sweetly. “Bye.”

“Bye.”

He started walking backwards, and soon after, Richie could feel the rain once again envelop him as the umbrella disappeared from over him. They smiled widely at each other. Then the man turned and started walking away for real.

Richie was about to get into his car when he remembered something

“Wait! I never got your name!” he yelled.

The man turned around, smiling widely. A rainbow could be seen in the distance behind him. “You can call me Eddie.”

“Eddie?” Richie was ready to burst. “Short for Edmund?”

“No!” The man gaped. “Eddie, short for Edward! Definitely not Edmund.”

Richie laughed out loud, eyes twinkling with drops of rain dripping from his hair. “Hey, your name could totally be Edmund.”

#reddie #eddie kaspbrak #richie tozier #lynn writes #my writing #meet-cute #reddie fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #it 2017 #it fanfic #it fanfiction #reddie fanfiction #it #cute #it movie

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freebooter4ever · 5 years

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my dad group texted my brother and i, highly unusual, and i think jordan was weirded out too cause his response was equally short and confused. on the list of things my little brother and i have never discussed, our dad’s relative interest or lack there of in our lives is pretty high. dad’s been messaging me since october, asking about stuff like where my next living plans are (which he has never done since i first moved out age eighteen), and i’ve only been vaguely responding to the point blank questions cause its just. so. weird. i think my grandpa’s death has shaken dad’s worldview a bit more than he’s been letting on.

he alienated my brother and i pretty much immediately after his secretive marriage to the bottle blonde rich bitch when i was 22. he kicked my brother out as soon as jordan turned 18, and when i discovered this by coming home one summer and seeing jordan wasnt in the house, i got so fucking mad that it was the first time i ever had a full out screaming match at my dad. and apparently this display of anger was when rich bitch decided she didn’t like me (probably valid, but also ironic because pretty much from birth it was known in my entire extended family that dad and i were almost identical personality wise, and both of us have tempers where we will not get mad at anything but frustration will build up and up until on the rare blue moon it boils over, and oh boy. watch out. those moments were the only times i was ever scared of my dad as a kid and i think it only happened twice in my entire life)(if she thinks im crazy when im angry, she should see my dad)

but i was crazy mad because while i was lucky enough to be put in therapy due to attempting to starve myself into non existence at age 13 (many many sessions of ‘family’ therapy with me in the center of a long couch silently trying to pretend i was invisible and my mom two feet away at one end and dad on the opposite end of the couch, and my mom doing all the talking, ranting and raving about how im starving myself to punish her. and then the therapist kicking both my parents out and trying to convince me to say a few words, and her finally getting me to realize that how my mom treated me was not normal and not something i needed to put up with if it made me sad and scared, and then the therapist realizing that i was still too sad and scared to confront it, and her and i coming up with a compromise where we would tell my mom that i was just ‘really attached’ to dad’s house and it wasnt that i was terrified of living with my mom or liked my dad better, it was that i just really liked living in one place instead of out of a suitcase and moving every week), and so had both the therapist and my dad supporting me when at fourteen i finally said enough was enough and demanded that my dad get full custody so i didnt have to spend every other week with my abusive mother anymore - while i got out of that situation, my brother didnt. i tried, he knew that it was my decision to live full time with dad and i made it clear he could do the same, but just as it was a given that i was identical to dad’s personality, my brother was identical to mom’s so i think he was more attached to her than i was. either way, he always refused and insisted on continuing to live between both of them. after i hit driving age, my dad transferred responsibility to me for shuttling my brother to and from my dad’s house to my mom’s apartment. dad’d lock himself in his room, or go to the gym, and i’d turn on an endless rotation of star wars movies for jordan and i to watch before i had to take him to his next week’s place (phantom menace was our favorite cause darth maul was just cool ok, dont judge).

anyway, the last day i ever stayed at my moms house, my brother was there. and i must have been twenty or twenty one because he would have only been around seventeen. but even at seventeen he was well over six foot five cause he got all the height in the family which was totally not fair but thats besides the point. so while i was there my mom flew into one of her alcohol induced rages, and took it all out on my brother. i had intellectually figured that all the anger my mom used to take out on me had then transferred to my brother once i stopped living there every other week, but up until that point i hadn’t actually seen it. she started shoving him, and punching him, and not enough so it would hurt much, because as i said he was well over six feet and she was barely five six, so he could pretty well block any thing she dished out. but he was cornered, and he looked scared. and i was hiding useless on the stairwell, crying, and begging mom to stop. and it only stopped cause jordan managed to slip out the front door and once he escaped mom went back into the kitchen, still yelling and angry. and i took the chance to grab my school bag and leave in solidarity. and my brother and i stood there awkwardly on the porch, me still crying, and him smoking and trying to look cool and not like he just got chased out of the apartment by a woman half his size. and i promised him we wouldnt go back until she calmed down, and that she was being unreasonable and he didnt deserve any of it, and id figure out somewhere to go. and we started walking down the sidewalk, but not together because we were never that close. he wandered off somewhere to smoke. and that’s as far as i remember.

this day came up in conversation with my grandma in the months after grandpa’s death, during one of our many three am can’t sleep conversations in grandma’s kitchen (grandma would wake up, i’d hear her get out of bed and wake up too. she’d make herself tea and eat some graham crackers and we’d sit together at the table feeling the third empty chair like an ache). grandma brought it up, because apparently, even though i cant remember this at all, i had my no/kia brick phone in my school bag (a minor miracle because i hated carrying around cell phones for the longest time), and i actually called grandma. and grandpa and her came to pick me up, and they found me sitting on a wall a block away from my mom’s apartment, and then we drove around till we found jordan, and then we all went back to my grandparent’s house. after bringing this up, grandma then, completely unprompted, told me something that child me thought about regularly - she said that even though her mom died when she was 8, leaving her to help raise her two younger siblings, grandma thought in some ways it was easier than what my brother and i went through with the divorce and my mom leaving. i used to regularly - not wish my mom dead, exactly - but wish i could pretend she was dead, rather than her just not being there anymore. especially since, when i was suddenly thrown into being her sole emotional and physical punching bag now that dad wasn’t filling the role anymore, a lot of the times being around her post divorce was not a good thing. (I cut off all contact with my mom finally at age 25 and haven’t looked back)

so yeah, i was fucking pissed that i had worked so hard to try to mitigate the damage i caused by leaving jordan alone with my mom for pretty much the entirety of my high school years...only to have my dad kick him out barely a few years after i left for college and thus putting my brother at my mom’s mercy. ostensibly my dad kicked my brother out because of his drug addictions, but my brother was the most mild mannered addict i’ve ever known. the worst thing he ever did was steal a couple hundred dollars from me, but he never got violent, he never got angry. other people got angry at him. my aunt once tried to fight him in a hospital elevator because he sold my cousin heroin or meth or some shit and my cousin ended up impaling a knife in his chest in front of my grandma, which is a whole nother story. but jordan was only nineteen when that happened. my cousin? thirty six. and a long time violent and angry drug addict with a record (he threw a book at his professor’s head and got kicked out of grad school while on cocaine once, which is how he ended up back in washington state and needing a new drug dealer - hence my brother suddenly getting involved) (same cousin later flew into a drug fueled rage in his forties and almost beat his girlfriend to death) (my brother was long since clean by then and had nothing to do with our cousin getting drugs at that point)

all this to say my dad’s rich bitch new wife didn’t think a drug addict and mentally ill artist fit into her picture perfect family, so dad started making it clear we were not welcome at family functions unless we complied with very strict rules. ironically, jordan was let back into the fold first partially because i can hold a grudge for a very long time and i was very very terrified of my mom and dad was the sane stable one and i had trusted him to take care of everything even without me there and dad had failed pretty spectacularly at that. im still bitter at my dad for his secret marriage and subsequent moving into her million dollar mansion and throwing my brother out. but also partially because jordan started following all of dad’s rules, got himself cleaned up (he moved in with his girlfriend, and i think being out of mom’s house had a lot to do with getting over his addictions), started studying computer science, found a really good software engineering job, suddenly dad approved of him. i also partially antagonized rich bitch wife by doing silly things like wearing black leather pants and the most provocative clothes i owned whenever i went over to their house. rich bitch was a very simple narrow minded person with a lot of prejudices. i imagine i was not seen as a good influence on her two younger daughters. and eventually they stopped seeing me altogether. even when i was living in washington for all of 2017 - the only time i ever saw dad was when he’d come visit my grandparents alone. the day before i took grandma on the train to move to ohio, we were supposed to all have dinner together at our family’s favorite place to eat out - crossroads mall - and the rich bitch refused to show up. that’s how petty she is. she also is so dumb she’s under the delusion that kids get into drugs if they don’t have dogs (????) so that’s why she forced my dad to get a dog for her spoiled brat youngest when the girl went into high school. my dad dislikes animals, so i will say one of the highlights of this marriage is seeing my dad become a dog person. the rich bitch and her daughters mostly ignore the dog, but my dad is so attached to max that he even lets the little puppy sit in his lap while driving. anyway, anyone who thinks dogs are the sole answer to preventing drug addictions can go to hell.

yeah, blah blah blah, to sum up its WEIRD for my dad to suddenly be texting my brother and i unprompted, and asking me about my life and my plans. i dont really know how to deal. i miss him. he was always the closest person in my life to the point where even when i moved away for college, i still assumed after i graduated i’d just move back in with dad so it was only four years being gone, cause why would i ever want to live anywhere else?. i kept thinking if i could hit some level of success that he would approve of, that maybe eventually i could become somebody his rich bitch wife would associate with. but that never happened, obviously.

#journal shit #christmas is family time right????

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fckeverything-v · 5 years

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1. Do you bite or lick ice cream? Lick

2. What is home to you? Alabama:/

3. What was the last lie you told? I couldnt tell you

4. Does everyone deserve the truth? Maybe not?

6. Describe a moment in which you did something unacceptable in a bad situation. Walk away, move states..

7. List two things that are more easily done than said. (No, I didn't mix them up.) Being alone & fuck irdk

8. When was the last time you worked really hard to achieve something? Mhm 4 years ago.

9. How many all nighters have you pulled? A lotttt haha

10. If humans didn't evolve to laugh or smile, how would we express our happiness instead? Woah people express that? no but humans would probably bone all the time.

11. How many romantic "things" or "flings" have you had? Only 2 (technically 3) serious relationships. Many flings.

12. What is your paradise? I dont have one :(

13. What is your favorite background noise? (Ex. Water dripping, people talking.) Music

14. How many hearts do you think you have broken? Only 1... maybe 2 soon. (not you hehe.)

15. What is the most important thing about electronics? What does this say about you? Finding friendships through social media or other platforms. And mhm probably that im a lonely pos

16. Why do people care about celebrities? Do you care about celebrities? Because they're pretty. Not really.

17. What is the most annoying thing someone can do to you? Chew loud.

18. Do you overexaggerate? What are the pros and cons of this? Eh, yeah. And I cant think of any pros.

19. Have you played any instruments before? Which instruments? Piano, saxophone

20. Do you like taking selfies? Why or why not? No. I stare at it until i hate it.

21. List 3 things you like about yourself?

22. What is the best advice someone has ever given you? To not give up. As simple as that sounds.

23. Do you have what it takes to raise a child? Why or why not? No. Dont you need to be mentally stable- i would hope so..

24. How do you cheer yourself up after a bad day? Play games for hours.

25. When was the last time you felt awkward? Ha. Literally 5 minutes ago.

26. Are you introverted or extroverted? Or a mixture of both? Introverted x100000

27. What constitutes a good friend? Someone who doesnt give up on you amd atleast tries to understand.

28. Would you rather have a lot of friends to hang out with or just one best friend? One best friend.

29. In a regular day, what do you not want to hear? 'Hey hows your day going'

30. What is your dream job? Fuck, is this still a question.. to be a homicide detective in the biggest city i can think of.

31. Is it better to be lazy but smart or hardworking but unintelligent? Lazy and smart DUH

32. What is a truth about yourself that others find hard to believe?

33. What have you always wondered about the other gender? What it feels like to GET OFF. DUH.

34. Which fantasy world would you like to visit the most? Um my own dreams i guess.

35. Describe the worst friend you have ever befriended. Im not wasting my time describing that.

36. Imagine that you have switched bodies with someone you don't know. You can't switch back. What do you do? Live it up. I think id feel happy honestly.

37. If you found the recipe for immortality, would you sell it or would you burn it? Mh. Sell it, their problem now and im rich.

38. What is the most important, applicable class you have ever taken? Current events.

39. Name the last book you read. Dammed- chuck palahniuk

40. Imagine that you are unable to express emotion. How would this affect your world? No change

41. When was the last time you made the first move? Um never..

42. What is your opinion on electronic music such as dubstep or trap? Trash

43. What was the last tv show youve watched? Rick and Morty.

44. Do you like and appreciate your life? I appreciate what i am trying to do.

45. Do you like and appreciate yourself?

46. When was the last time you cried? Yesterday

47. What are you scared of? Heights.

48. What is the most embarrassing, cringe-worthy thing you have ever done? Um live my life everyday probably.

49. What are some of your hobbies? .... literally WORSE question. I smoke cigs. Is that a hobby?

50. What is a superficial yet annoying mistake you constantly make?

51. Are you a good friend? What makes you a good friend? If not, what makes you a bad friend? I feel like i am both. I try to be there for them. But also, im so hard to get so i feel like i might come off the wrong way a lot.

52. Do you honestly learn from your mistakes? Honestly; nope.

53. What have you learned the hard way? Not to care what people think. After wasting my whole life. Im starting to realize it doesnt matter.

54. What is the most important thing to have in order to attain happiness? Follow your heart

56. Are you a creative or a logical thinker? Both but probably logical.

57. What is the smartest thing you have ever done?

58. What is your ideal meal? Fuckk probably so good ass chicken with some gooooood asssssss mac and cheese. As lame as that sounds hahaha.

59. What is the worst thing someone could do on a date? 1. Go on date with me

60. Do you like animals? Which kind is your favorite? Yeah and dogs are cute but i love elephants.

61. If you could turn one legal thing illegal, what would it be? Christmas.

62. Do you have any guilty pleasures? Of courseeeee (;

63. What is the best thing that the internet has ever created? Video games.

64. Do you like playing video games? Which video games? Woah you read my mind of sum? Shooter games.

65. What is your opinion on beauty in today's society? Bullshit

66. Are you a morning person? When do you usually wake up? No not really and like 5pm nowadays.

67. Do you have a favorite Disney movie? Character? No

68. Would you rather live in the city or in the countryside? City but i love the countryside

69. Would you rather live near the ocean or in the mountains? Mountains

70. What are the best things about winter? Cold. Even though i hate it. Snow. Even if i dont see it. Trees dying.

71. What scares you most about the future? Literally everything.

72. What makes you feel old? Doing nothing.

73. How many hours do you spend on the computer or phone on average? Idk like 5.

74. What are some of your New Year's resolutions? Be a better me.

75. What is your life story in 6 words?

76. Describe yourself in one word. Awkward.

77. What bad habits do you do? Smoking

78. What genre of music do you listen to? everything

79. Most prominent childhood memory? I would say, but its embarrassing that that's the memory.

80. Imagine if you had an older brother. If you already have one, what is it like? If you don't, how would this change your life? My life would be so different. Maybe i would have someone to talk to.

81. Spirit animal?

82. Do you believe in horoscopes? Yes

83. What is the worst advice you've ever been given?

84. List the 3 most important people in your life right now. 1. Fox 2. Fox 3. Fox

85. Favorite memory of your family. :/

86. What do you look for in a relationship? Happiness

87. Do you have a role model? Why or why not? No. I dont need it. But now that i think about it i have one role model.

88. What is your opinion on social media? Dumb

89. Are you a pessimist or an optimist? Pessimest

90. List some things that you think are overpriced? Food

91. What is your worst memory or creepiest experience? ..

92. What superpower would ruin the world? Any of them

93. What is something you swore you would never do when you grew up, but you did anyway? Exactly what im doing now. Nothing. Giving up. Dropping out

94. What lessons have you learned from movies and which movies were they? Dont trust yourself when you know you arent okay. Fight club

95. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go? Europe

96. How do you approach people? I dont but i guess a smile.

97. What is your opinion on first impressions? I think theyre okay. Only if you dont judge.

98. What are some things you did as a child that you no longer do? Lol play with imaginary friends

99. What languages can you speak? English

100. What do you think society will be like in 30 years? Lol hopefully ill be dead bc that shit sounds terrible

101. What do you do on your lazy days? Play games.

102. What ended your last relationship? I had enough.

103. Favorite food? Soul food

104. What is the most terrifying dream you've ever had? Fuck im not saying.

105. When was the last time you got seriously angry? Last night

106. What was the last friendship you broke? My friend Ashley:(

107. Do you have any pet peeves? Close minded people

108. Who was the last person you gave a hug to? Zack

109. When was the last time you got seriously stressed? Last night

110. What part of your personality do you want to change? I dont have one.

111. Who is the most positively influential person in your life right now? My sister Grace.

112. What is your biggest motivation? My siblings. Faith & Grace.

113. What did you want to be when you were little? Honestly i never knew.

114. What are some things that you are good at? Smokin weed

115. What is one thing you want to be good at? Social skills

116. What distracts you the most, especially when you're trying to work? My mind

117. How important is privacy to you? Eh pretty significant i guess.

118. If you could create one social norm, what would it be? Be friends with everybody.

119. What's the craziest lie you've ever told? Um.. i told my 2nd grade teacher my family died in a car crash.

120. What story do you like to tell about yourself at parties? I dont go to parties haaha

121. What is the lamest thing that you have seen someone do? have friends and socialize too much like woah calm down you know youre still alone.. right. Like its only you. Hahah jk. But irdk.

122. What is the stupidest thing you've done to impress someone? a guy invited me over and ive never done anything sexual before so i pretended like i knew and i hurt his dick like bad. (We didnt have sex)

123. What is your morning routine? Wake up, wash face, brush teeth, get dressed, and then boom feel sad

124. What's the last thing you did that is worth remembering?

125. If karma was coming back to you, would it help or hurt you? Help

126. What is your opinion on playing "hard to get?" Being sort of isolated like not opening up. Which is okay bc if they want you they'll wait.

127. What are the pros and cons of straightforward? Cons, you may hurt feelings. Pro, you know yourself and what you want to say congratulations

128. What do you consider "leading" someone on? Being fake happy.

129. Are you the friendzoner or the friendzoned? Friendzoner

130. What do you admire most about your friends? How beautiful he is. Inside & out.

131. What do you admire most about your family? They're still here.

132. What is your opinion on "going with the flow?" You may forget where you are trying to go. Or who you are.

133. Do you enjoy talking or listening? Listening.

134. When is it time to end a friendship? Idk

135. What is the worst excuse you've ever come up with? Lol too many.

136. If GPA didn't matter, what courses would you have taken? Doesnt matter.

137. What are your favorite baby names? Ive always liked Riley for a girl name and idk havent thought Bout a boys name.

138. When was the last time you had a deep conversation with someone? Maybe a week or so ago. Or a few days ago.

139. What instantly ruins a conversation? Lack of excitement

140. Biggest turn ons and turn on offs. Affection. And idk

143. When did you last do something outside of your comfort zone? God every day.

147. What do you like about the 21st century? ???

141. Biggest disappointment. Myself

142. Do you have any self-restraint? A little.

144. Prized possession(s)? little things

145. What is your opinion on second chances? They might seem okay but idk.... depends i guess

146. Text or call? Both, depends on whom im texting or callin

148. What advice would you give to yourself 5 years ago? Life is hard and stupid but choices you make will stay with you forever so what are you gonna do, follow your heart or head? (head is better hope)

149. How organized are you? Eh not really anymore.

150. Favorite mode of transportation. My car

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judythegirl · 5 years

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I answered them all and nobody asked for it

1.Do you want a boyfriend or girlfriend? I have a boyfriend that is way out of my league, bless his beautiful tender soul.

2.When did your last hug take place? Yesterday when we said goodbye for the day

3.Are you a jealous person? Is it jealousy or envy when you start hating yourself because you see others in a similar or same life position as you doing extraordinarily better than or getting exactly what I have been working for? I never hate or hold grudges towards others, I just turn that negative feeling into self hatred.

4.Are you tired right now? Of course, I am chronically fatigued.

5.Do you chew on your straws? No, straws are supposed to be round.

6.Have you ever been called a tease? No.

7.Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight? God no, I wish that upon no one. I neeeeeed sleep. Hell, I’m in my mid-twenties and still put myself down for nap time every single day.

8.Do you cry easily? Heck yes, and I am not ashamed!

9.What should you be doing right now? Resting, but my mind is racing so I need a distraction from such destructive thoughts.

10.Are you a heavy sleeper? Yes, I need to set five alarms to wake me up on a typical morning even after the healthy eight hours of sleep.

11.Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months? Four years strong right now.

12.Are you mad at someone right now? Yeah, my extended family. They never invite me to their gatherings or include me in communicating big life news like they used to.

13.Do you believe in love? Yes, I feel we have to in this crazy life.

14.What makes you laugh no matter what? Hmmm, when I’m driving with boyfriend and we see an orange road work sign and I quote that God forsaken vine. I laugh at myself.

15.Who was the last person you talked to? My mom, she said good night to me.

16.Do you get butterflies around the person you like? Always.

17.Will you get married? We’ve talked about it in detail. We want to wait until we have full time jobs with health insurance for ourselves and semi-stable independent housing.

18.When was the last time you smiled? Looking at a bunny in my front yard this morning. They’re my favorite animal and I love when they come to visit.

19.Does anyone like you? I’m very lucky to say my boyfriend and my parents certainly like me.

20.Do you secretly like someone? World News Tonight reporter David Muir.

21.Who was the first person you talked to today? My mom.

22.Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? Again, my boyfriend because he is also my best friend and life partner.

23.What are you NOT looking forward to? Work.

24.What ARE you looking forward to? This week off I’ve had in which I have been resting,

25.Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you, and meant it? Yes, hehehehe

26.Suppose you see your ex kissing another person what would you do? Tell the person he kissed to run because he’s an abusive predator.

27.Do you plan on moving out within the next year? Fingers crossed hopefully, but if not oh well. I have a good home with my family.

28.Are you a forgiving person? Yes, I feel humans just forgive in order to slightly move on with our own lives.

29.How many TRUE friends do you have? Besides my lover, three.

30.Do you fall for people easily? Heck yeah.

31.Have you ever fallen for your ex’s best friend? Ew no.

32.What’s the last thing you put in your mouth? Ice cream.

33.Who was the last person you drove with? My mom, we went to kmart because we were bored lmao

34.How late did you stay up last night and why? Midnight, I had rushing thoughts then as well.

35.If you could move somewhere else, would you? I don’t want to. I like this odd little suburban neighborhood I’ve grown up in, but my boyfriend and most of my friends and I will have to because there is no full time work for people with little to no experience within a hundred miles of here.

36.Who was the last person you took a picture of? Myself lol

37.Can you live a day without TV? Yeah, I really don’t love watching tv nowadays.

38.When was the last time you were extremely disappointed? Right now, I don’t like my career.

39.Three names you go by.. Judith, Judy, and occasionally Jude because I LOVE The Beatles.

40.Are you currently in a relationship? Yes sir.

41.What is your all-time favorite romance movie? I’m a sucker for Titanic.

42.Do you believe that everyone has a soul-mate? Yes.

43.What’s your current problem? My mother fucking job is so fucking boring!!!!!

44.Have you ever had your heart broken? Oh yes.

45.Your thoughts of long distance relationships? If there is a solid foundation of friendship and time together surrounding the couple, I feel they work. But if it is a new romance and you suddenly commit to long distance, I think temptation and ignoring one another happens very quick.

46.How many kids do you want to have? One is good for us.

47.Have you ever found it hard to tell someone you like them? Yes, it was a complicated time. Oh high school.

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michaelhalberstamapartments-blog · 5 years

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LARRY KING LIVES LIFE IN OVERDRIVE

Larry King, the rumbling voice of midnight questions, stares at Pat Buchanan, the White House director of communications. King's eyes are intense and prying, his chin is jutted toward the target, his lips are parted to give the impression that he is hanging on every word, about to interrupt but holding back to wait for a gem.

Except for six hours of sleep every 24 hours, Larry King keeps this expression all day and all night.

King's schedule puts demands on his phenomenal energy at an all-time high: He does a daily, hourlong interview show, Larry King Live, for Cable News Network, which reaches more than 300,000 households. He then does The Larry King Show for Mutual Radio, which has been cut back to a live four hours, with the first hour recycled for a five-hour package that reaches 3 million to 5 million people a week. In between these obligations, he writes two newspaper columns. On his slow days, he travels to sports arenas and does color commentary for Home Team Sports -- its audience by mid-June standing at 100,000. Once a month he does a worldwide talk show for the Voice of America and his next guest is scheduled to be Ronald Reagan.

"Certainly I have a weird life. But I like everything I do," says King. At the end of his workday (and night), his companions and staff feel like they just took the red-eye from California in non-reclining seats. Millions of people work two or even three jobs to make ends meet. But, for perhaps the first time in his life, King isn't worried about money. Mutual alone is paying him a reported $2 million on a five-year contract.

Strangely enough, King, 51, never seems to be in a hurry. Lean with a bit of a belly, he moves at the deliberate pace of a batter stepping up to the plate. The voice and metabolism are fed by coffee and cigarettes. He rarely drinks. A long time ago, he mastered naps -- he takes them during the five- minute news breaks on the radio show.

The time is now 11:30 a.m. King already has dressed, taken mucho vitamins and one aspirin -- "because the late Dr. Michael Halberstam told me to" -- worked for an hour on his personality column for USA Today, haggled a bit with an editor on his next book, talked with an insurance company about his daughter's graduation present of a Firebird, and complained that he was missing that night's Orioles game. Before 4 the next morning, he will stop another three times and ask, "Am I crazy?" and then "What is my real complaint? I can't have dinner when I want to, I can't see the KING, F-3

baseball game. But what if I had to be a librarian? No, instead, today I'm going to talk to Pat Buchanan and Harry Blackstone."

This is how he survives.

He eats lunch at Duke Zeibert's, dinner at the Palm. He gets one of his daily calls from his daughter, Chaia King, 17, and his oldest friend, author and consultant Herbert Cohen.

He doesn't prepare beyond his daily consumption of several newspapers, backed up by information from his contacts and his nearly 30 years behind the mike.

"I work with an acquired dumbness, a street dumbness," says King. That means he tries to think about what Joe Citizen would want to know.

From 5 to 9 a.m., he sleeps. He wakes up without an alarm. He tries to nap from 3 to 5 p.m., but the telephone jangles. Sometimes he calls someone personally to ask them to be on the show, such as New York Gov. Mario Cuomo, his first guest on CNN.

It's now 12:15 p.m. King is at his daily table in Duke's in full view of the glass doors. He has ordered coffee and is nibbling on the onion rolls. When his platter of fruit and cottage cheese arrives, he largely ignores it. He talks about his forthcoming book. "Sterling Lord is the agent. He's the kind of guy, you have dinner with him and they remove the plate, you have the crumbs, he doesn't have any. Impeccable," says King.

Bill Aber, the general manager of cable TV's Home Team Sports, tells a King endurance story: "On Wednesday, April 4, 1984, King had done his regular show, then he flew to Cleveland to do a luncheon banquet, then he had to meet us in Baltimore for our kickoff. The game was rained out and at 6 p.m. Larry interviewed celebrities for our party. Then he left at 7 to go to the Capital Centre to do some color on the Caps. Then he did the Wednesday all-night show."

In the last month King spurned offers from every major network and syndicator, says his agent, and renewed his contract with Mutual. The perks include 12 Fridays off and four weeks of vacation each year and a new luxury car every two years. Now he is driving a gray Riviera, on which Mutual put an "L King" vanity license plate, which King hates. Since the phones started lighting up on Jan. 30, 1978, when he was heard on 28 stations, he has built his affiliate stable up to 262 stations. His is the only talk show ever to win the prestigious Peabody Award. In the last few weeks, he signed with CNN for a reported $200,000 over three years. Once that show gets rolling, King says, he will tape a couple of shows a week.

He has had cameos in two movies -- Ghostbusters and Lost in America -- and television will increase his recognition by sight, not just sound. July 12 is King Day in Baltimore. Where once the Mutual show was taken on the road to build up audiences, now it's taken out to satisfy demand. In the next few months it will travel to the All-Star Game in Minneapolis, and to media gatherings in Nashville and Dallas.

It is now 8:15 p.m., the start of his evening's work.

Walking into the television studio, he says, "you got to be pretty weird to be doing radio, television and newspapers. Godfrey used to do it. I'm tired right now but . . . something about that light going on . . . I can't explain it."

Makeup is applied to his face and hands. Then King and Buchanan are facing each other.

At 10:20 p.m. he is at Mutual's studios on the 12th floor of a suburban Virginia highrise. This is home, behind the microphone, checking out the baseball game, doing promotions for a new station. During a commercial break he will do a 2 1/2-minute interview with Harry Blackstone Jr., the magician, for something called Larry King in Focus. On Saturdays the network runs The Best of King.

King has been in one studio or another since 1957, when he moved to Miami after finishing high school in Brooklyn. In Florida he quickly established himself as a radio interviewer, added a newspaper column and did commentary on Miami Dolphins games. But he ran into some well-publicized financial troubles, which forced him to leave broadcasting for four years. In 1979, shortly after taking the Mutual job, he filed bankruptcy for $350,000 in debts. Because of his past financial difficulties, his money is now handled by Bob Woolf, the agent he shares with Doug Flutie, Larry Bird and Gene Shalit. King says he gets a $150 weekly allowance.

Now it's 11:50 p.m. He glances over a press release and talks about his approach.

"You need the ability to listen. A lot of broadcasters don't know how to ask a question. One of my idols, Jimmy Cannon, could pick up every detail but he couldn't ask a question in the locker room. You have to keep it spontaneous, always be curious. I have a good memory, I never expect the answer. I don't think I am a better interviewer than I was at 25. I can relax people."

"Jimmy Hoffa embodies everything you want in an interview, except one thing. You want someone with a chip on their shoulder, passion, a little bit of anger, the ability to relate to the question and to talk about their business. But he didn't have a sense of humor."

At 12:06 a.m., his jacket is off and cigarette dangling. Blackstone is sitting where Gerald Ford, Bob Hope, Dizzy Gillespie, Mel Brooks, Milton Berle, Sophia Loren and scores of others have sat.

At 3:55 a.m. he gets up from the chair, stretches and says he feels really tired. He doesn't hang around the studio. "We have entertained and informed the callers, and we only reach 1 percent of the audience," says King.

He ads: "I don't think much about it. I don't take it home with me."

And he goes home. But he'll be up again in four hours. Making that face.

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masonjar828 · 6 years

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So this is in response to an ask me thing I reblogged. Thanks @kylorenpunk for once again making me do them all 😂 but I ain’t no quitter so let’s begin shall we.

1. Selfie; as seen above

2. What would you name your future kids?; If I could have sole control of naming my kids, I’d go with Zephyr for a girl and Red Nalloh for a boy. I always liked the word zephyr and I like the palindrome name that would come from naming my son that.

3. Do I miss anyone?; I recently moved to the west coast and left a lot of close friends behind so I miss each of them every day.

4. What am I looking forward to?; I recently interviewed for a job I’m pretty excited about so I’m really looking forward to hearing new news from them!

5. Is there anyone who can make me smile?; Legit anyone who ever says or does a kind thing to me I will think about from time to time with a little grin.

6. Is it hard for me to get over someone?; I don’t have too much experience needing to do so but I feel like it takes me a normal amount of time to get back on the level after being with someone 😂😅

7. What was my life like last year?; I was a senior in college man...life was a ball of stress and sleep deprevation for months.

8. Have I ever cried from annoyance?; Not really. It honestly takes a lot to make me cry usually. BUT! Show me something with heartwarming feels and a tear or two will always come.

9. Who did I last see in person?; My aunt while we were watching a movie.

10. Am I good at hiding my feelings?; Maybe? I feel like I am but I also know my poker face is garbage so I could be suckish at hiding my feelings too haha.

11. Am I listening to music right now?; Yes! The new Greatest Showman Reimagined album and it’s utterly amazing!

12. What is something I want right now?; I want more than anything rn to hear back from some job somewhere because I’m so in need of a post-college job 😂😅

13. How to I feel right now?; Bit of a headache and fairly tired but overall pretty happy! Listening to the rain outside helps.

14. When was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged me?; About 20min ago when I said goodnight to my aunt lol.

15. Personality description; I feel the best way to describe my personality is a hyperactive ball of music and useless facts who usually does anything to help my friends, usually at the expense of my sanity at times 😂

16. Have I ever wanted to tell someone something but I didn’t?; There was a time where I desperately wanted to take a risk of telling one of my closest friends just how I truly felt about her but didn’t because I didn’t want to risk ruining the friendship that meant too much to me.

17. Opinion on insecurities; They are a thing everyone experiences and should never be judged on, but I do feel like the only way to truly become better as a person is to actively work to identify and try to work on overcoming or coming to terms with them.

18. Do I miss how things were a year ago?; The constant stress, absolutely not. The friends I got to see daily and never get to see and rarely talk to anymore, all the goddamn time.

19. Have I ever been to New York?; State, yes. City, also yes. Went this past summer to see Hamilton live and my god it was one of the best shows I’ve ever experienced! ☺️

20. Favorite song at the moment?; Hardest question in the world to ask me since I listen to and love so many so songs at once. The one currently stuck in my head is Zac Brown Bands version of From Now On from the Greatest Showman Reimagined soundtrack.

21. Age and birthday; 22 and August 28th

22. Description of crush; No crushes at the current moment but I usually like women a tad shorter than me, with amazing eyes, and a personality that is fun and nerdy so we can make stupid puns and jokes to each other.

23. Fears; Only one real one and it’ll always be snakes. Fuck those venomous and scaly bastards.

24. Height; Like 5’9”-5’10”ish I think?

25. Role model; My dad for sure. He is one of the most loving and caring people I know who can be outright terrifying if he needs to be.

26. Idols; I’m not really the type to idolize anyone tbh 😅 I feel like idolization can be a tad unhealthy.

27. Things I hate; The thing I hate most in the world (apart from snakes, fuck snakes) would have to be the sound of silence (not the song I love the song). Silence weirds me the hell out and I’m not about it.

28. I’ll love you if...; I’ll basically love you if you just show you genuinely care for me and have my best interest at heart. If you do that I’ll basically fight for you til the very end.

29. Favorite films; Star Wars for a series, Airplane! for a individual movie.

30. Favorite tv shows; Brooklynn 99 is my current binge. Others tend to be Star Trek: Next Generation, Cosmos (think this is considered tv), Friends, Avatar, The Last Airbender, etc lol.

31. 3 random facts; About me I’m guessing? I can solve a Rubik’s cube in about 30sec. I can sing the lyrics to literally each and every track from the Hamilton soundtrack. And I can bake recipe for cookies I’ve had friends literally fight over blindfolded if I have the ingredients all lined out first.

32. Are my friends mainly girls or guys?; Girls mostly. Guys tend to annoy the hell out of me most of the time. Even my best friend in the world can annoy the shit out of me fairly easily 😂😅

33. Something I want to learn; How to play literally any instrument. At all. I have wanted to learn for ages but I am just not good with instruments at all.

34. Most embarrassing moment; I tend to repress my embarrassing moments a lot so the first one that comes to mind is when I was talking shit about a professors godawful and stupid teaching method after being given a test he taught us like 30% of and turning around to see him 10ft away and definitely hearing what I said 😐

35. Favorite subject; Any math or chemistry really. #chemicalengineeringlife

36. 3 dreams I want to fulfill; Fairly easy I think. Find success in an area near my family so I can stay close with them after years of being unable to. Find a partner who I can be happy with the rest of my life. And be financially stable to never need to stress about living day to day.

37. Favorite actor/actress; Actor I think Chris Pratt. Actress Anna Kendrick.

38. Favorite comedian; John Mulaney without hesitation.

39. Favorite sport; Tennis. Can’t play it for years and not love it.

40. Favorite memory; Ooh hard one. I think it would have to be the time my family went camping to a place in the middle of Nowhere, Nevada when I was younger and I was able to see each and every star in the sky like I had never been able to before. It made me start to love space and science as a whole looking into that beautiful endless abyss.

41. Favorite book; Hate this because I love reading so so much and it’s like having to choose a favorite child. I think the one I most often reread would have to be The Hobbit though.

42. Favorite song ever; Bohemian Rhapsody I would guess counts the most since it’s the one I will always go back to and enjoy. (Also if you haven’t seen Bohemian Rhapsody the movie yet it’s insanely entertaining and I recommend it hard)

43. Age I get mistaken for; With the beard grown out some age definitely mid-20s, without the beard I’ve been called 18 or younger multiple occasions.

44. How I found out about my idol; See idol question above.

45. What my last text message says; “Goodnight”, sent to a friend I was talking to as they were very close to passing out.

46. Turn ons; If you’re able to engage with me on an intellectual level and be able to just be fun and goofy with me.

47. Turn offs; Trump supporters, Naxi sympathizers, and people who refuse to accept scientific evidence for things like vaccines and climate change.

48. Where I want to be right now; In bed, which luckily I am! 😝

49. Favorite picture of my idol; See idol question above.

50. Starsign; Virgo I believe.

51. Something I’m talented at; Random useless fact storage to be used at bar trivia nights.

52. 5 things that make me happy; Being with family, listening to good music, reading a good book, baking something delicious, and long drives with deep talks with friends.

53. Something worrying me at the moment; Not getting the nice job I interviewed for after the interview going as awesome as it did.

54. Tumblr friends; I have a few friends who have tumblrs like @kylorenpunk, @thepunmaster3000, and @be-inspirational-to-others. Though any mutuals I have I would love to become more friendly with so please feel free to send me a message sometime 😂😋

55. Favorite food; Probably chicken Alfredo I think.

56. Favorite animasl; Dolphins and tortoises 🐬🐢

57. Description of best friend; Tall dude with a short trimmed beard. Musically talented in basically any instrument I can think of. Movie lover to the point of almost insanity. Funny dude who also calls me out on my extremely dumb jokes and puns all the goddamn time.

58. Why I joined tumblr; I was told about it by a friend when I needed to vent a lot and she had me make one. Vented very rarely but enjoyed the weirdness of the site.

59. Ask me anything you want (I’m guessing for who asked me this); @kylorenpunk, why the hell do you make me always do all of these? 😂😅 I don’t mind but lord does it take forever to type all this junk out.

#ask post #lots of answers #selfie #for the first time on this site I think #mutuals #feel free to message me sometime #just not these questions again #😅

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dedalvs · 6 years

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Does it bother you that your work (or at least the work you’re best known for) is to supplement other people’s creations and not your own?

I guess this question would be more appropriate for an actor, since nothing they ever do is their own. Of course everyone working in Hollywood knows this and doesn’t care. There are hundreds of people that work on every single television show and movie. There may be only a handful of people that get the praise or blame for any given project, but nothing that anyone sees is free of influence from someone other than the creator. The very notion is kind of up in the air. Look at Defiance, for example. The original “creator”—the one who came up with the names “Stahma” and “Datak”, for example—never wrote an episode of the show (this is Rockne O’Bannon). He gets credit for co-writing the pilot episode, but what happened was he wrote the pilot then left the show—and then a new showrunner (Kevin Murphy) came on and rewrote the pilot. And the whole thing was an adaptation, anyway, of a property developed by a video game company, Trion. I guess no one who worked on the show really created anything, if I’m following the logic of the ask correctly, since it was all done to supplement Trion’s game. I don’t think anyone working on the show cared much about that fact.

This is one of the main differences between Hollywood and, say, fiction writing. Everyone working in Hollywood looks at each endeavor as a team project, whereas writers write a book that others help them with (i.e. this publisher is publishing my book; this artist is doing the cover art for my book; this publicist is working to advertise my book, etc.). You can see the difference in attitude when it comes to language creation. A producer/director hears about language creation and says, “Ooh, cool! We’ll have to hire someone to do that!” A fiction writer hears about language creation and says, “Ooh, cool! I should do that! I’m probably great at it!” (Or alternately, “Oh, brother… I guess now I have to do that too so my readers don’t complain…”)

Anyway, there are lots of different aspects to this question, so let me try to address all of them.

First, in case it’s ever seemed like I’ve indicated otherwise, I really love what I do. I may not like deadlines, and translation is not my favorite aspect of language creation (and translation constitutes 90% of my job), but there’s really very little difference between what I’m doing now and what I was doing ten years ago, vis-à-vis conlanging. Really, the major differences are that there are deadlines, I get paid, and some people outside the conlanging community care about what I do. It’s still language creation. It’s always fun to come up with a new project, and I’m certainly doing that more now than I would have been otherwise. So the simplest answer is no.

I guess, though, you might think I was just putting on a positive face publicly…? I mean, no. In creating a language, there always has to be some pretext—some reason for the language to exist. If you’re creating a language you want to use in your own life, the pretext is very simple: I want to use this language in my life, therefore I’m creating it. The pretext is less simple when creating a naturalistic language. After all, if I’m creating a language for my daily personal use, why would I bother with a fictional history and sound changes, etc.? I’d just create something simple whose sound I like and whose grammar corresponds to what I find easiest to use. For those of us who find naturalistic conlanging interesting, though, the pretext is a necessity. I never liked conworlding or conhistories (or fantasy, to be honest), so in the early days when I would conlang, I’d basically pretend like I had a conworld/conculture, when in fact I didn’t. Really, though, what that amounted to was that I had a lazy conculture: One I didn’t think too much about and didn’t write down. It’s funny. The same attitude a lot of writers have about conlanging (that it’s a timesink that takes away from their story) is the attitude I had about conculturing. Once I realized what a huge role that plays in the lexicon, though, I came to think of it as a necessary evil. And if I had a language project I was really excited about, I would frankly find it very daunting to have to come up with an entire world and people and systems of government and clothing, etc. Seemed like a drag, to be honest.

Creating languages for other stuff is great because I can cut out all that nonsense and let someone else do it. The resultant culture may not be very good (”Oh, sure, that social model is totally sustainable! I’m 100% sure that patriarchal fantasy is super realistic!”), but (and this is the important part) I didn’t have to do it—and I don’t have to take credit for it. Instead, I can just play around with the language. It’s just delightful!

Like right now, for example, I’m running this D&D campaign, and it is so exhausting to have to come up with every single little detail! It’s fun to act out the characters, and there are other parts I like (like coming up with flags and names), but figuring out exactly how many towns and of what size there should be in a given area is just too much! My hat is off to all DMs out there. It’s a lot of work!

Anyway, as for what I’m known for (the parenthetical part of the ask, which may be the main part of it), I might have had a different answer ten years ago, but now, I honestly do not care. I figure if someone cares about anything else I’ve done ever they’ll find it. Those that don’t, why would I care what they think? About anything? I don’t know them. I’ll probably never meet them. And honestly, have you seen some of the stuff that people talk about wrt conlanging? “What’s a better ConLang: Gallifreyan or Tengwar?” The ones who only know me for what I’m best known for are probably not very discerning. But if they don’t care, why should I?

It took suffering through the George W. Bush economy for me to really figure out what I want in life, but I did, and it’s fairly simple. I want to spend as much of my life as possible financially stable and with my friends and family—while pursuing my interests. Previously I thought I also wanted my friends and family to also care about my interests, but I’ve come to learn that that actually isn’t important to me either. No one else needs to care about what I do so long as I think it’s worth my time and effort. Honestly, with the internet and digital file storage, if there’s someone out there who desperately wants to know every little thing I’ve ever done in my life, that will likely be possible. It’s not like last century: That stuff will probably be available indefinitely (barring societal collapse).

Even if you filter all this out and just focus on language creation, I care much more about the status of conlanging in general than I do what I’m known for or not. It bothers me that it’s been almost ten years and neither Hollywood nor the general public really gets conlanging. It’s gotten better, but since conlanging has gotten a lot of widespread attention, it’s also amplified the ignorance. I feel like I get the same questions over and over again and give the same answers over and over again but there’s still the basic assumption that the quality of a conlang is equivalent to the fame of the conlang. I guess language itself is always going to be something that’s fairly opaque, but it just bugs me that very few people have any idea what they should be looking for in a conlang. It’s like watching someone pick up one of Picasso’s really abstract pieces and also a drawing by a four year old and trying to judge which one is more realistic by comparing the colors in each one to the colors of the shirts worn by their family members in the pictures in their iPhone photo album. Like you can try to say, “Hey, maybe realism isn’t the best thing to look for in either of these,” but there’s just so much nonsense in here that why would you even bother?

The only thing that gives me hope (and not just about this, but in general) is that the younger generation seems really amazing. I’ve said that before about the generation before the youngest generation (I think there’ve been two since me…? I honestly don’t even know how you count these things), but honestly, it gives me hope every day seeing the amazing things that even teenagers are doing. It’s an awesome thing to witness. If you’re a part of the 25 and younger crowd, you should feel really good about what you’ve done and the lives you’ve led thus far. (And that’s an in general type thing. If you’re 26, you didn’t miss the cutoff, or anything.) From someone who went to school in the 80s and 90s, do you know how cool it is just to see teenagers be cool about friends and classmates that are LGBT+? Because that so didn’t happen when I was in school. That’s what you did by just living your lives the way you’re living them. That’s awesome. Really makes me believe that we can actually fix the things we (my generation) were told had already been fixed in the 90s.

Not sure how I got there, but I hope that answers your question. Again, the tl;dr answer is no—no matter which way you meant it.

#conlang #language #Defiance #Anonymous

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n0resistance · 2 years

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Hollywood 2017

Back when I turned 25 I had a dream one New York summer, that I moved to LA with my friend. I called her that morning and she thought I was joking, and a year later, we did it. We had a deadline (and it got extended) We saved money, finished our projects, quit our jobs, gave all your things away, and moved to LA. The thing that set it in stone was securing the 30 day Airbnb, no refunds, and there’s no turning back.

My ex and I tried long distance at first, I really believed he was gonna come visit every couple months. He had dreams of moving to the west coast either San Diego or Colorado. I love both and can see this as an opportunity for us. I left and said we’ll be fine and thought even if we’re not. I knew I’d be fine. Our relationship was insecure and far from perfect. I was 25 and he was 23. At the time, I was sharing a room and paying $450 for my side and paying off student debt. Since he lived with his mother and I was in a railroad style apartment, we had no privacy. My roommate and I worked opposite schedules and we ended up always sleeping before he came home. I had this big calling to move and make movies in LA and he needed to start college.

My friend and I moved into the Airbnb. It’s a historical Hollywood apartment that was in a 1950’s film “Sunset Boulevard”. Funny thing since we didn’t have jobs yet in LA we ended up signing a lease in that apartment down the hall. My first lease ever, I always subleased in New York, 5 apartments.

I saw “Sunset Boulevard” a couple months after moving while dog sitting. I remember saying that looks just like my apartment. Then I realized that it was my apartment! The most iconic start of this journey.The hardest part was getting 1) good jobs and 2) an apartment. Networking and making friends was a necessity. At first there were a lot of fake people I was meeting.

Making friends with actors is always a mixed bag. I didn’t want to feel all the pain I was feeling, so I would hustle to get a job and take down numbers of people that were all transplants. I had an idea of doing background acting for money. So I woke up early and took an Uber to central castings with my roommate. We stood outside for almost 2 hours and Central Castings stops taking people early. My roommate is an influencer so she was on Instagram working. I just started a conversation with a girl standing next to me.

I found out the girl next to me is from Long Beach. She quit her event sales job to do acting full time and I admired her for that. I told her about my film, moving from New York, leaving it all behind including my boyfriend, and trying to make it work. She was married and lived in the Valley. We both were embarking on the actor journey. I asked for her email, hit her up to talk acting stuff, and she ended up being my first friend in LA. She was solid.

What was weird was The Scientology people would approach every person who got rejected from the Central Castings line. They said a big time Hollywood director has a free seminar if you want to learn about the film industry. Then they give you a card with the information that says SCIENTOLOGY all over it. Scary how everyone looks for a sucker. In interviews I called myself a filmmaker/writer to seem more stable.

Actors in La have a bad reputation probably for not showing up to work if they got a gig. I went to about 20 interviews in a week, by bike or uber, and the first job I got was at a Peruvian restaurant on Hollywood Boulevard. I knew some sorority sisters living in LA, and reconnected with them. A lot of friends were interested in visiting.

There was a time difference in New York and my ex would work full time and was a full time student so I thought he wouldn’t have time to spend anyway. I felt that “atleast we’re both investing in our future”.

We ended production on our film and it was now his job to edit it. I gave a deadline when I left to go to LA in January and figured it would be ready by April. A perfect time to send to film festivals.

I got a job on Hollywood Boulevard for an opening of a restaurant. My first restaurant job since mad dog and beans in college. I met many different characters. One guy I met came from Germany and went to school in San Diego. He was a magician at the Magic Castle! He eventually took me and my two friends to see the Magic Castle. We wore formal attire and even saw them perform.

My second week of work and third week in LA my boyfriend finally broke up with me. He said don’t worry he’ll finish the movie. It was over and so hard. Different lives working together didn’t work.

My new friend I met at Central Castings actually brought me to a writer/ actors group called Tuesdays at 9. I met a lot of actors and musicians there. I really wanted to see this girl perform and wanted her to score my film. Unfortunately it never happened because of the working with my ex issue, but LA kept inspiring me with all the creatives I was meeting.

My roommate was producing her own scripted show. I recorded it and would skip work to do it. My hospitality schedule would get smaller and smaller and I was running through my savings fast but I was happy.

I had a job on Hollywood boulevard, I had a project, a friend, a studio. Things were okay. My friend who created the show would contact all these establishments she would wana try and we filmed it. We went everywhere. San Diego, Malibu, all over Hollywood, & Venice beach. We were exploring and going outside our comfort zone.

One time we got a “free car” to drive to San Diego. If anyone on the face of the earth offers u you a free car, say no. It wouldn’t go over 50 mph. The brakes were finicky and we are lucky to be a live.

I got a part in a play. An 8 week black box theater and a cast of 13 people. I met a friend who was a hotelier too in the theater company. She worked at the Standard. I told her I used to work at hotels and read hotel chatter. That I read the Standard has a feature where you can check in anytime for an extra fee. I asked, “how does that work operationally?”

The rest was history from there. The play was insane. But we were a fantastic very funny cast. Each person u bring in you get 10% or something. My first paycheck acting in LA was from this play. I should’ve framed it but I really needed the money.

I became friends with everybody at this company. Actors are strange, daring, unstable, emotional, and some aren’t loyal friends. They just have too much shit going on to be a friend. They are all transplants. One girl I met would pay me to watch her dogs. Everyday there was creative fulfillment in some capacity, always good weather, and I was starting from 0.

The hotelier friend was in the car with me while I was venting, I am done! Fuck hospitality. She said damn I was going to offer u a job. It pays $14 an hour but it’s a reservationist job at the standard. I said “I’ll take it!” I wasn’t in a position to be picky.

My friends came to visit the Opening night of The play. I just got the Standard and I was so broke. Meals at a restaurant are minimum $18 - $20 that I would look at the sides that were $7. So I lived off fries. They saw the show and even though the show was ridiculous they were proud of me.

LA is huge. My best friend since I was a kid was living in Culver City and without traffic that was almost an hour commute. She also went to school downtown. Anytime I got to see her I felt at home. My other bestie from second grade moved to LA. I was blessed knowing people. Being familiar with some people in a very lonely city.

My other friend, old boss, came to visit and got an Airbnb up in the hills. We met at a dope bar and the guy I was seeing drove me to get him in his brand new Audi convertible. The top was down and I’ll never forget my friend from Brooklyn saying

“Toni you made it!” Hollywood is all image. That moment was a success.

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