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kurlyfrasier · 4 years ago

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Terrified: Part 3

Raph x Reader

Synopsis: Raph saves you from ruffians one night in an alley after watching out for you for weeks without you knowing. Which leads you to getting to know the guys and becoming part of the family. But Raph keeps a distance and you don’t understand why.

Word Count: 1447

Warnings: I switched the readers pov to first person, just fyi. I thought maybe it would sound better.

I knew the moment I stepped out of Dusty Books and put my headphones on that he was watching. He was always watching. Following. Protecting. I made the mistake of asking him why once and still regret it to this day, because not only does he guard me home, but now his brothers do too.

They take turns. And now I feel like a burden to all of them, not just to him.

I know it’s Raph’s turn because the other three will actually walk with me when they can, like through the alleys- which I am no longer afraid to walk through, thanks to them- and on the subway when it’s empty. But not him. Never him.

And I still didn’t know why he would barely look at me, let alone, talk to me.

Except on movie nights. Those were my favorite nights of the week. Those were the nights I got to cuddle with him and pretend to fall asleep so he would carry me to his bed. I had hoped he would share it with me, but alas, he never did.

His brothers and Master Splinter liked me just fine. So, why didn’t he? The thought had me rushing to the subway station, the sooner I got home the sooner I would stop bothering him. I got there just in time to jump on before the doors closed. I sat down with a huff and willed the sting of tears away.

Why didn’t Raph like me? He saved my life weeks ago (definitely more than a couple of months) and is still practically a stranger!

I spent the ride deep breathing, hoping maybe I could run home before he knew I had gotten off the train. It was only a few blocks, I could do it. I wanted to be strong. I wanted to be able to move on from him because, obviously, he wasn’t my biggest fan.

Would I have to stop going to the lair?

Maybe I could start texting one of the guys to make sure Raph isn’t there before heading over...except movie nights, of course. I’ll always see him on movie nights. I sighed, realizing I would have to give up on cuddling with him.

Maybe I could pretend nothing has changed on those nights?

This was going to be hard.

The train stopped and I stepped out, took an encouraging breath, and ran- holding tight to my backpack. Thankfully, I didn’t have to worry about anybody thinking I was crazy because, well, nobody ever got off here at this time except for me.

I felt his eyes on me the second I was visible to him on the sidewalk. I also knew- somehow- that he was furious. My headphones fell off, landing hard on my shoulders as I continued to run.

“Y/n,” he shouted.

I ignored him on the rooftops and made a sharp turn into the very alley he saved me in, almost slipping on the wet pavement. I hadn’t thought it rained that day, but maybe it had.

“Y/n!” Raph roared, sounding much closer than before.

I pushed myself faster, harder. I was almost to the end of the alley when BAM! Raph stood before me in all of his furious glory. I always thought I would be scared of a man with a temper, but I’m not. Not with Raph, at least. His fury was beautiful. His eyes shone emerald, chest heaving as he pinned me with his gaze. I stood there frozen, breathing just as heavy as he.

“What’s wrong?” He asked through clenched teeth, scrutinizing our surroundings for… something.

“Well?” He demanded, eyes raking up and down my form. I would’ve smiled if I thought he found me attractive, but I knew better. He was only looking for injuries. He did this every time I walked into the lair, toothpick between his teeth, and grunt of approval before walking away when he saw I was unharmed.

“Who’s after you?” He said once his eyes met mine once more, confident, like always.

“Nobody,” I whispered.

“Then why were you running as if someone was about to murder you!” He shouted, no longer able to keep the anger contained.

“I just...felt like running?” I answered, looking at his fascinating feet. Everything about him was fascinating. Everything.

“Come on,” he huffed out, picking me up as if I were a toddler and holding me on his side

Quickly, I wrapped my arms around his neck, taking advantage of the proximity.

“Hold on,” he told me, jumping up to climb the building to the roof.

~~~~~~~~~~~

You sprinted out of the station as if Shredder was after you himself. Raph stayed for a few seconds to wait for the idiot who scared you. Whoever he was, he would pay. When nobody came out he ran inside to find nobody there. With a growl, he ran back out to the rooftops, shouting after you as he followed you to the alley where he cut you off, chest heaving as he tried calming down from the chase.

What were you so afraid of? There had to be something that spooked you because there was no way you would be running as if your life depended on it knowing that he or his brothers were following you home.

To protect you, of course.

Definitely not to get every moment he possibly could with you.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, teeth clenched as he searched the surroundings for any danger.

“Well?” He demanded, finding nothing as he checked you for blood.

“Who’s after you?” He said, finally able to breathe when he didn’t see any outward injuries. If he had the right to strip you, he would.

If anything were to happen to you…. He mentally shook his head, ridding himself of the thought. Nothing was going to happen to you. Not while he and his brothers were around. He made them promise, even though he doubted he needed to. They loved you almost as much as he did.

“Nobody,” you whispered, your eyes watery, causing his fisted hands to clench. Had someone made you cry? He was going to kill the bastard. Nobody made you cry. Nobody.

“Then why were ya running as if someone was about ta murder ya!” Raph shouted, unable to hold back now that he knew you weren’t in danger.

“I just...felt like running?” You squeaked out, staring at the ground.

“Come on,” he breathed out, placing you on his hip. You immediately wrapped your arms around his neck as if this were a normal, everyday thing he did.

“Hold on,” he said under his breath, jumping for the rooftop so he could carry you home. If you were scared or wanted to get home faster, all you had to do was ask.

All you had to do for anything from him was ask.

Raph opened your window once he got to it and watched you climb in with a quiet ‘goodnight.’ He wanted to press you for answers because there was no way he believed your lie about wanting to run. You never ran anywhere that he knew of, so why would you suddenly start running now? But you looked so weary he didn’t have the heart to ask. Besides, tomorrow was movie night. He didn’t want to leave you on bad terms. He didn’t want anything to mess with movie night. So instead, he hopped up to your roof and stayed there for the night, listening to you weep for hours until you finally fell asleep.

His heart broke at the sound.

He wanted to hold you tight and tell you everything would be okay.

He wanted to choke the bastard who did this to you.

He vowed to figure it out during movie night as he ran home with angry tears in his eyes.

“Whoa dude, what’s wrong?” Mikey asked as Raph stomped through the lair.

“Nothin’, Mikey,” he spat out before stopping in his tracks. Maybe Mikey could help him? “Actually, somethin' is wrong with Y/n.”

“Yo!” Mikey yelled out loud enough to reach every corner of the lair. “Bros! Something happened to Y/n.” Less than a minute later Raph’s three brothers and Master Splinter were waiting for an explanation.

“Yes, my son? What has happened?” Master Splinter patiently asked.

At the end of his short tale, they were all nodding in agreement to figure out what was wrong. Unfortunately none of them knew which turtle you would open up to the easiest, so they figured they would take turns. Starting with Mikey to cheer you up when he left later to walk you back to the lair.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part 4

#tmnt #tmnt fanfic #my writing #raph x reader #raphael #raph #leo #mikey #donnie #splinter #angst

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petri808 · 4 years ago

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1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30-Epilogue

Lucy POV. TW: Panic Attack, Mental trauma/coping, PTSD

The university and Lucy’s professors had been really wonderful about everything, even offering to convert her classes to an online option so she could continue. She wasn’t happy about the idea of taking a sabbatical from college, but there was no way she could manage. Not only was it difficult for her to leave the apartment because seeing anyone that remotely resembled Touka sent her into a panic attack, focusing on anything at all was a struggle. Night after night it haunted her dreams and spilled into her waking moments. She’d run scenarios through her mind, all the what if’s, should haves, could haves, often leading to horrifying outcomes. They’d survived, yes, but at what cost?

She didn’t feel the same anymore as if a part of her did die in that apartment or fled to a hidden part of her brain too scared to come back out. The once happy, positive person had become a nervous wreck unable to control her emotions or outbursts. Lucy’s bedroom became her safe zone from everyone, even those closest to her, ashamed and insecure of their judgement. In her heart she knew friends like Levy or Natsu wouldn’t judge... but tell that to her broken mind, because her brain was the one in control at the moment, and insisted they’d look down on her.

All the irrational thoughts. It was her fault for not being careful, her fault she was kidnapped. Lucy knew Touka was growing dangerous, yet walking alone, at night... utterly stupid. She should have been overzealous at protecting herself, but oh no, stupid girl didn’t want to believe anything would actually happen. Until it did. And now she was even more pathetic and weak for not getting a hold of her emotions, for not controlling it instead of it controlling her. The danger had passed. They were alive. Touka was in jail. It should be over, but it wasn’t. Lucy couldn’t move past that night, stuck in an endless loop of fear. So many nights she’d wake up in a panic covered in sweat, the fading images of red... blood... like dripping down a tv screen in a horror movie. It was Natsu’s blood she saw and his screams when the knife had sliced him open.

The first week after the event had been difficult, sitting through an interview with Gajeel, and reliving all the mental wounds. It took several hours to get through it all despite the man doing his best to go easy on her. Each time painful parts came up, Lucy felt the anxieties rise, the mental blurring, the shaking, literally a physical shaking of her body in an effort to dispel the rise of adrenaline coursing through her veins. Interviews are best done without any other potential witnesses in the room to avoid cross contamination, but after Lucy’s first two attempts to talk to investigators failed, Gajeel was forced to allow Natsu in with explicit instructions to sit quietly and say nothing while the woman talked. Of course, Natsu’d been fine with that, he’d do anything to help, even if it was just holding Lucy’s hand. But it only added to her embarrassment. Surely Natsu will eventually tire of having an unstable girlfriend.

Then there was the therapist Levy helped Lucy to find which she hoped would help her to quickly get over the events and move on. So, when the woman explained that such traumas take patience and time to process, Lucy was devastated. It almost felt like nothing was going her way anymore, falling dominoes with no end in sight. She felt so ashamed for having to see the woman in the first place, and now she’s told it would be a long journey towards recovery. Just great! What’s next?!

“Lu?” Levy knocked before opening the bedroom door. “Are you gonna eat your dinner in here again? It’s ready.”

With the curtains drawn, Lucy’s room was dark and the only light available was a small desk lamp next to the bed set to a low setting. She peeked out from under her blanket. “I-I’ll come out in a minute, thanks Lev.”

As soon as her friend closed the door, Lucy exhaled in relief. She knew Levy was worried about the amount of time she stayed holed up in the room, so to dispel some of those concerns, Lucy would join her roommate for meals. She quickly applied a gauze wrap, threw on her long sleeve hoodie, and left the room. It made her feel safer to be shrouded and covered up, so gone were her skirts and tank tops, and hello to long sleeves and pants. If she could cover her face from the world, it would make her happy. Even her overall hygiene suffered. Lucy would forget to bathe or wash her hair for days on end, and it took Levy or Natsu with gentle prodding to get her to do it. She would wear the same clothes for a week if it wasn’t for Levy who made sure she changed at least every couple of days. Hell, she’d starve if her roommate wasn’t feeding her. This was a frustrating cycle, not having the mental energy to take care of herself, then feeling bad because they had to help her with things, which made her feel even worse.

It tore at Lucy’s heart to watch Natsu going through this process with her. She knew he was going through his own struggles, not just mental, but physically healing from his wounds. And here she was, the basket case of instability. Bless him, he never gave up no matter how distant she grew, but after that night, Lucy really didn’t want to talk about anything out loud, not that night, and certainly not the true extent of her pain from it. Both Levy and Natsu knew only what she couldn’t hide from them. Like the panic attacks, and since she really didn’t want them to see her go through one or what she’d resorted to, to calm herself, so the safest solution was stay quiet and not trigger them in their presence.

To show his dedication, Natsu even went with her to her therapy sessions and waited outside the office. Lucy knew it was costing him money to do this, because she couldn’t ride a train which meant cab rides every single trip. It bothered her a lot, but she did her best to hide it, and besides there was one small measure of security in having him at her side when she needed to venture out into the public.

“So, the nightmares are still a problem?” the therapist questioned Lucy. “Are you sure you don’t want to try a medication? It would help to ease them until we can get things under control.”

Lucy gripped to the hem of her sweater. “I just don’t wanna become addicted to that stuff...”

“That’s understandable. But not all are addictive, and I’ll be here to make sure it doesn’t get out of hand.”

“I... I don’t think I’m ready.”

“Okay, that’s fine,” the woman smiled. “Remember I’m just here to help you, at your pace. I won’t force you take anything you don’t want to.”

“Thank you.”

“What about the breathing and relaxation techniques? When you feel the anxiety rising, are you trying out the steps?”

“I try... I don’t think I’m very successful at it.”

“Does it work sometimes?”

Lucy pauses for a few seconds in thought before nodding yes.

“See, that is progress!” The woman encouraged excitedly. “Two weeks ago, it didn’t help at all, and now it works sometimes. It’s a big step forward Lucy.”

“Doesn’t feel like it is...” Lucy mumbled.

“I know it’s hard to see it for yourself, and that’s okay. These things take time and practice. Do you remember what I said about these things?”

“Not really.” Which was true. During the first week when the therapist explained the processes, Lucy had stopped listening as soon as the woman said it would take time.

“Let me ask you a question. You like to write stories, right?”

“Yeah.”

“When you first started, were you able to just write perfect stories.”

“Pfft, no.”

“Then how did you get better at it?”

Lucy rolled her eyes, knowing where this was going. “Practice.”

“Yes! The PTSD requires learning new coping skills as well as unlearning irrational ones. To do both takes practice. The more we work at it, the easier it will get, I promise. One day you’ll be able to look back at this experience and feel stronger for it.”

She really wanted to believe the woman, but it was so hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel! Tears well up in Lucy’s eyes, seconds before they start to flow down her cheeks. “Why is this so hard?! I just wanna get back to normal!” She could feel her anxieties rising. “I... I-I don’t wanna talk about it anymore! I just wanna forget it ever happened!”

The woman reached over and took Lucy’s hand, applying a strategic amount of pressure while rubbing her thumb over the webbing in a counter stimulus. She softened in tone. “I wish I could say that would work, but in order to get past it, you need to confront it. Together we’re gonna turn the boogieman into Casper the friendly ghost.”

It was such a weird way of putting things, it caused Lucy’s mind to snap out of the anxiety and snort a sniffling laugh in response. “Casper the friendly ghost?!”

“It was the first thing to pop into my mind,” the therapist laughed too. “The point is, we’re going to work together and slowly bring you to a place where this no longer scares you.”

“O-Okay...”

The rest of the session was tough, and Lucy had come close to a panic attack several times, but as a trained therapist, the woman stepped in at the right times to bring her levels down again using breaks and breathing routines. Sure, with a professional in front of you, it wasn’t as bad, but doing this on her own, the attacks were still winning. At the end of the session, the woman suggested a new technique to try out based on Lucy’s love of writing.

“You’ve heard of art therapy, so just think of this as a different form of creative therapy. Writing a diary is helpful to get out your feelings out in a healthy way. But let’s take it one step forward to use your skills in fiction writing. I want you to try before the next session, writing a story where you interject your emotions, feelings, whatever you want into the characters and story. Kind of like your character becomes you, but now you get to control what happens to them after the trauma they endure.”

“Wait, so you want me to write about a character that goes through what I went through?! Like torture my own character?!”

“Yes, to put it bluntly. Take your pain and unleash it onto the fictional character. It’s a much healthier way of releasing your anger or frustration in something that can’t really be hurt. Do whatever you want to them. But remember you also get to give them the ending you want to. It’s about utilizing a tool you’re already comfortable with and taking back some control. It’ll be normal if you cry, scream, and get upset through the process, but that’s okay, because instead of holding it all in, you’re getting your feelings out.”

Lucy slumped back in her seat. It sounded strange, yet at the same time made a bit of sense to her. Angst type stories were not really her forte, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t do it, especially since pain is all she was channeling at the moment. She sighed. “I’ll try.”

“And that’s totally okay. All I ask is that you give it a try.”

#nalu #nalu fan fic #nalu au #nalu fan fiction #Natsu dragneel #Lucy heartfilia #Natsu x lucy #nalu fanfiction #strangers on a train #ch 24 #angst #TW: panic attack #TW: PTSD

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tina-snow · 4 years ago

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TAG GAME

tagged by my wife ily @anakinpadme

tag 9 people to know more about their interests, hobbies, etc. (no pressure!):

@megfox @cindysmoon @userdilf @lizzies @itsvs2 @kazbrakkar @burnhamandtilly @maygrant @alexturrner and whoever else wants to do this!

MUSIC

fav genre? hip hop and r&b

fav artist? 6lack, kehlani, tupac, they., megan thee stallion

fav song? this is so difficult but unfair by 6lack and can you blame me by kehlani ft. lucky daye

most listened song recently? alone by doja cat

song currently stuck in your head? wtf i want by megan the stallion

fav lyrics? rn it’s “must be your face cause it’s not your dick” — ain’t shit by doja cat

BOOKS

fav book genre? mystery

fav writer? idk how to read in fact so i’m gonna have to leave all these blank

fav book?

fav book series?

comfort book?

perfect book to read on a rainy day?

fav characters?

5 quotes from your fav book that you know by heart?

TV AND MOVIES

fav tv/movie genre? horror and anything psychological

fav movie? train to busan or pan’s labyrinth

comfort movie? coraline <3

movie you watch every year? die hard and the nightmare before christmas during the holidays it’s a ritual, also tangled

fav tv show? killing eve, watchmen, and atla

comfort tv show? parks and rec, bob’s burgers, and atla

most rewatched tv show? ^ those three but prob atla the most

ultimate otp? eve x villanelle i think also angela and cal </3

5 fav characters? scully, rue bennett, frank castle, miles morales, julie molina

#about me #tag games #s.txt

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kopikuestudies · 4 years ago

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Tag 9 people to learn about their interests!

I was tagged by: @nr-studies <3

MUSIC

Fave genre? Loud

Fave artist? FALL OUT BOY

Fave song? Last of the Real Ones - Fall Out Boy,

Most listened song recently? Fahrradsattel - Pisse

Song currently stuck in your head? Cringe - Matt Maeson

5 fave lyrics? “I swear I’d burn this city down to show you the light” “I got your love letters. Corrected the grammar and sent them back” “We will grow old as friends. I’ve promised that before. So what’s one more?”

other lyrics are also available

BOOKS

Fav book genre? Contemporary, romance

Fave writer? Alice Oseman

Fave book? Solitaire - Alice Oseman

Fave book series? Red Queen - Victoria Aveyard, Our Australian Girl - Various

Comfort book? Solitaire - Alice Oseman

Rainy day book? Bloom - Kevin Panetta

Fave characters? Tori Spring, Maven Calore, Francis Janiver

5 quotes from your fave books? “All I know is that I’m here. I’m alive. And I’m not alone�� "You're not alone, you have your crown" "I could set the world on fire and call it rain" “You may be very small but you are all very important in the universe”

TV AND MOVIES

Fave tv/movie genre? Drama, Mystery, Crime

Fave movie? The Dressmaker

Comfort movie? Shazam, Scooby-Doo: Camp Scare,

Movie you watch every year? How to Train your Dragon

Fave tv show? Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries

Comfort tv show? M*A*S*H

Most rewatched tv show? Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries

5 fave characters? Bert and Cec, Tilly Dunage, L Lawliet,

Tagging (no pressure!): @0akdown-reblog @4ngel-studi3s @hoodiestudy @diaryofastemstudent @julystudying

#O Speaks #Tag Game #Thanks for the tag!!!

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superbatson · 4 years ago

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tagged by @madisonrooney

tag 9 people to know more about their interests, hobbies, etc. (no pressure!):

@sighmonhaynes @matt-murdok @favoriteliar @whitmore @brainwxves @buirs @taylorklaine @reallyhardy @koridick

MUSIC

fav genre? pop 😔

fav artist? bleh it changes a Lot but lately it's like: bastille, set it off, matthias schweighöfer (heh), anthony ramos, grandson, ajr

fav song? IT CHANGES SO MUCH but lately i do be vibing a lot to lauf by matthias schweighöfer

most listened song recently? according to spotify, it's stay alive by hidden citizens ft remmi (which checks out, i'm lowkey obsessed with that song)

song currently stuck in your head? lauf 🙈

fav lyrics? "it's kinda funny how you vote for someone / to vote for someone, to vote for someone / and you might end up with someone evil but you say that he means well / if i keep on talkin' politics, my friends will dip, they're over it / if i keep on talkin' politics, i'm hamilton, without the hits" (3 o'clock things by ajr)

BOOKS

fav book genre? YA, romance, dystopian, contemporary, mystery, crime, modern fantasy (i'm not generally that into, like, the old kingdom stuff with all the made up names and shit)

fav writer? neal shusterman (my king)

fav book? unwind by neal shusterman, the giver by lois lowry, brave new world by aldous huxley

fav book series? UNWIND AKA THE GREATEST BOOK SERIES OF ALL TIME; CONNOR, RISA, LEV, AND CAM ARE MY CHILDREN

comfort book? a bear called paddington by michael bond (the paddington audiobooks are sooooo good to fall asleep to, i love them a lot)

perfect book to read on a rainy day? anything, really, reading on a rainy day is the shit, but i feel like it's especially fun to read really atmospheric, escapist stuff so i'll say her final words by brianna lasbuskes and sirens by joseph knox (both really excellent crime novels that make for wonderful rainy day reads)

fav characters? camus comprix (unwind), paddington bear (paddington), john the savage (brave new world), jonas (the giver), bayr (first girl child)

5 quotes from your fav book that you know by heart?

"I love you, Risa. Every last piece of me." (it's from undivided but w/e it's still the unwind series okay)

"In the distance, he thought he heard music. Perhaps it was only an echo." (the giver)

"But I don't want comfort. I want God, I want poetry, I want real danger, I want goodness, I want sin." (brave new world)

"In a perfect world, everything would be either black or white, right or wrong, and everyone would know the difference. But this isn't a perfect world. The problem is people who think it is." (unwind)

"Nice socks." (unwind)

TV AND MOVIES

fav tv/movie genre? animation, comedy, musicals

fav movie? how to train your dragon

comfort movie? how to train your dragon, beauty and the beast (1991 & 2017), batman v superman: dawn of justice, zack snyder's justice league, tangled, shazam!, trolls, trolls world tour

movie you watch every year? probably something christmas-y, i'm trying to make it a tradition that i watch the 2018 grinch movie every year

fav tv show? friends

comfort tv show? friends, trollstopia, trolls: the beat goes on, spirit: riding free, any of the baking championships on food network, spongebob squarepants (old episodes though)

most rewatched tv show? friends

ultimate otp? branch/poppy, belle/beast, bruce/clark

5 fav characters? queen poppy, barry allen, billy batson, belle, chandler bing

#tag game #long post

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mirkwoodshewolf · 5 years ago

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My #1 fan; Ben Hardy x child sister reader

*Author’s note*

Hey guys well here I am with yet another BoRhap boy story, this time it's of Ben Hardy (god it's been FOREVER since I wrote a story of Benny boi) but here it is. Now this is a Big Brother!Ben fic so unlike the last time there is NO ROMANCE, JUST FLUFFY PLATONIC GOODNESS THAT I CAN DISH UP!!!! Also in this fic I would like to point out that I do NOT OWN WORLD OF DANCE!! IT BELONGS TO J-LO AND NBC and all the people involved with the making of this amazing dance competition (if you haven't heard of it, go check it out the recent season is out NOW!!) Also watch the video links (from actual previous competitors on the show) to get a feel of what I'm seeing for the dances cause I am NOT dancer so I do not know all the moves that you dancers do out there, but I hope you all still enjoy this fic :)

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things

@waddles03

@psychosupernatural

@ixchel-9275

@simonedk

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels

@queensdivas

@platawnic

@queendeakyy

@geek-and-proud

@kairosfreddie

@iambambi5

______________________________________________________________

God it feels like it’s been forever since we’ve seen each other. From the time I got my first real American movie role in X-men Apocalypse, everything just seemed to fold right before me. From my biggest success of Bohemian Rhapsody (where I became best friends with probably the three greatest guys in the world), followed by the Netflix movie 6 Underground with Ryan Reynolds (and yes he’s just as hilarious and humble as he presents himself).

My life has just exploded from there, I try to be home whenever I can but when I do, she’s just as busy as I am.

Now that things have calmed down on my end and she’s preparing for an upcoming audition on a dance show, I can finally take the time to go see her (especially now since I’m in LA where she’s to audition). God I haven’t seen her in years, I wonder how she’s been?

“BENJAMIN!!!” Joe’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts and I turned to him.

“Hmm what?”

“Geez mate you were really out of it back there. We’ve been trying to get your attention for like 10 minutes.” Gwil said as he sipped his beer.

“Oh sorry guys, I was just—thinking.”

“And just who was it that had your attention so badly that you tuned out from the rest of the world?” teased Rami.

“Benjamin Hardy are you cheating on me!? Oh my god you’re cheating! Who is it! What’s their name!?” Joe accused me. I rolled my eyes as I shoved him.

“Is it a girl?” Rami asked.

“Oh great. Now I gotta get breast implants just to get you to notice me.” Joked Joe. We all looked at him strangely and I said.

“Not in that way, but yes I am thinking about a girl. My sister actually.”

“Your sister? You—never mentioned a sister before.” Gwil said.

“I kinda like to keep her separate from my name.”

“What you guys don’t get along?” asked Joe.

“No, no we get along amazingly. We’re each other’s #1 fans. But ever since Bohemian Rhapsody everyone now knows my name. I don’t want people comparing the two of us and making her feel like I’m outshining her. That’s one of the other reasons why I changed my last name from Jones to Hardy.”

“Is she an actress too?” Rami asked with a head tilt.

“No, no. She’s a dancer actually.”

“A dancer? Fancy.” Joe said in a posh accent.

“What kind of dancing does she do?” Gwil said.

“Mostly contemporary. But she also does ballet and a bit of Hip-hop. This one competition she was on, she actually combined ballet and hip-hop together. Got 1st place for it, and was the youngest winner to ever win the Glasgow dance competition.” They all whistled.

“She must be good then, how old is she?”

“She was 7 years old.” They all gaped at me.

“You’re joking right?” Joe said with wide eyes and a gaped mouth.

“No, not at all. In fact in her ballet school where she trains, she’s actually the youngest student to have been chosen to get a full run scholarship to the London Academy for Dance. Once she’s 12 years old, they’ll give her the full ride.”

“Wait, wait, wait. How old is she now?” Gwil asked.

“She’s nine.”

“So they’re gonna hold onto her scholarship for another three years?” Rami said. I nodded.

“Damn she must be good for them to do that.” Joe said with a sigh.

“She is. Fell in love with dancing at 2 years old and did her first pirouette within the first three months of joining her ballet school.”

“Geez, and my sister couldn’t do one till she was about 9.”

“Guess my sister’s got yours beat.” I teased to Joe.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah don’t rub it in.”

“So Ben, when was the last time you saw her?”

“Five years.” I said as I sipped my beer solemnly.

“Wait what? You haven’t seen your sister in five years!?” Joe gawked.

“I told you guys, ever since X-men it’s been one project after another. And even when I did have a break, she was out of state doing a competition either with her school or as a soloist. But—hopefully that’ll change in the next few weeks. She’s actually here in LA.”

“She is?” Rami said. I nodded.

“Yeah. She’s auditioning for some sort of dance show they film here.”

“So you think you can dance is doing a junior competition now?” asked Joe.

“No not that one. It’s a recent one. They’ve only done like 3 or 4 seasons of it. I think it’s called Dancing world…..no World of Dance. That’s it.”

“Oh that show is awesome! I’ve auditioned for that show.” Joe bragged.

“No you haven’t.” Rami exclaimed at Joe’s lie.

“I’m serious I auditioned during their first 2 seasons. Couldn’t commit cause of obvious reasons.”

“I’m calling BS on that.” Gwil said as he leaned back.

“Uhh excuse me; who got the part of the Disco Deacy? Me. Who perfected the BAB dance? Me. I’m perfectly qualified to be a dancer. In fact why don’t we go see your little sis and she can be the judge!”

“What?”

“You heard me, right now! Let’s go see her!” Joe said as he downed his drink and stood up.

“Hang on guys……”

“Well besides of Joe’s reason, I think it’d be fair for us to meet your little sis. I mean we’ve practically seen each other’s siblings. You all met my twin Sami and my sis Jasmine.”

“I agree with Rami, and you all met my older brother at my engagement party.”

“And of course you all met John and Mary at the BoRhap premiere.” At this rate I knew I wasn’t going to win this argument.

“Fine. I—guess I’ll call up my mum and ask her where she’s rehearsing at.” I just hope (y/n) doesn’t mind having my friends come and see her rehearse.

Cause when she’s in rehearsal mode, she can be quite the little jumpy bug.

*My POV*

Two days. I had two days till the Qualifier rounds for World of Dance. I had my routine down to the T and my mum says it’s perfect (but she has to say that she’s my mum), however I’m still doubting myself on some of the moves, or if I’m not showing enough emotion (cause J-Lo loves herself some dancers who can convey emotion).

I was sitting in the rehearsal room having myself a break after rehearsing my dance for the past half hour. I had this studio slotted for a 45min. rehearsal so I had about 15 minutes left to practice.

“I swear each time you dance your routine, you get more graceful every time.” Mum said as she came in with some lunch.

“Thanks mum, but is it good enough for the judges?”

“I know it is.” I chose not to respond to her. Like I said she has to say these things, but I know there are some flaws to my dance. I didn’t stick the landing hard enough, I tripped up on the landing from the 540, my leg wasn’t straight enough with I lifted it outward, so many flaws. “Oh I forgot, there’s a little surprise waiting for you downstairs.”

“Mum I—I don’t know. I mean I haven’t even found out if I’ll make it into the next round.”

“Trust me love, you’ll like this surprise.” She raced over to the door and opened it and soon coming in my brother and his three friends from his film Bohemian Rhapsody.

“Benny!” I cheered as I hopped off my seat and raced right over to him. A huge smile spread across his face as he extended his arms out and caught me as he picked me up and spun me around.

“Hey kiddo oh it’s been forever! Oh you’ve gotten so big since I last saw you.”

“I missed you Benny.”

“I missed you too kiddo. God you have no idea how much I missed you.” he said as he repeatedly kissed the top of my head.

“Your brother happened to be in LA so we planned a little surprise visit for you.” mum said as she closed the door.

“And I hope you don’t mind that I brought a few friends over.” Ben said as he gestured towards the three actors who starred with him on Bohemian Rhapsody.

“I don’t mind. I’ve heard so much about these guys that I figured it’s about time I met them in person.” He set me down and I walked up to the actor who played the legendary Freddie Mercury. “Rami Malek, right?”

“That is correct, and you must be his famous little dancing sister.”

“Well I wouldn’t call myself famous yet, but I hope to be one day.” We shook hands with each other. I then moved onto the next one, the tallest out of all of them who even looked like Brian May even without the wig. “Now forgive me if I pronounce your name wrong, my Welsh isn’t that great. Is it—Gwilym.” I pronounced the “I” like I was saying “ice cream”.

“Close, it’s pronounced Gwilym. Think of the “wi” like will.”

“Right, sorry.”

“No worries—(Y/n) right?”

“Yeah.” We both shook hands with each other and I told him, “Can I just say, I thought you were phenomenal as Brian May.”

“Well thank you love, I take it you’re a Queen fan as well?”

“Yeah. You can thank Benny for that. He introduced me to the band when I was a little girl. I even did a dance routine to White Queen when I was around 4-5 years old.”

“Wow, if you remember it, we’d sure like to see it.” Rami said.

“I think I might remember it. Again it was a while ago so I might improvise something if I don’t remember the whole routine.”

“No problem there.” Rami said with a warm smile. I then moved on to the last actor who played (my personal favorite member of Queen, John Deacon).

“So you’re the famous Joe Mazzello that my brother won’t shut up about.”

“Sure am kid. And you’re the world time dance champion and scholarship holder for the best London dance academy ehh?”

“You could say that.”

“Well little missy I happen to be a dance champion too, and I challenge you to a dance off!” Already I could see Ben, Gwilym and Rami either shaking their heads or rolling their eyes as Joe’s proclamation.

“This wouldn’t have anything to do with my brother would it?”

“And if it is?” questioned Joe in a challenging manner.

“No reason.” I shrugged. “Just hope you’re prepared to lose.” The guys all oooh in a challenging manner and that’s when Joe nodded along.

“Okay, okay little one. But I’m giving it all I got so you better watch out.” I gestured that the dancefloor was all his. Gwil went over to the stereo and went through my Spotify app till he found the song that Joe wanted to dance to.

He chose Wham’s ‘Wake me up before you go-go’. I’ll admit he has some pretty good moves—for an amateur. After doing a minute and a half of his little on the spot dance moves, he posed as he panted heavily.

“It was okay.” I shrugged.

“Okay?”

“Yeah I mean—it was…..cute. It was cute. For like an Instagram or TikTok video.”

“Okay then little miss Prima donna. Show me your little ballet moves.” Challenged Joe. Oh he don’t know me very well, do he? I first took off my ballet shoes and put on my sneakers.

I told Gwilym which song to play and he nodded to me that he would wait till I was ready before he played the song. I now stood in the middle of the room and took a deep breath before turning to Gwilym. He nodded and pressed his finger on my phone to play the song and soon YG’s “One time coming” began playing.

Play video

With this song I unleashed my Hip-hop background. Poppin and locking my body when needed, going in time with the beat, even doing things with my limbs to which no one had ever seen (like this one move where I had my right arm out and only by moving my left index finger, either the upper or lower portion of my arm would move up).

The guys and my mum were amazed and just in awe at my dancing. And when I did a little patterned tip-toe strut with my arms tucked in like duck wings, did I hear the guys exclaim and just flip out. When my minute and a half dance break was over, I flipped my hair towards Joe telling him that he got owned.

In pure defeat, Joe collapsed to the ground and lay there dead while my brother came up and hoisted me onto his shoulder.

“The winner and undefeated champion of the dance. (Y/n) Jones!” I bowed and thanked the guys and my mum as they cheered. Benny set me back down on the ground just as Joe finally came up and revived himself. I stood before him and he said.

“You surprise me kiddo. I accept defeat. Benjamin is yours.”

“Well he is my brother. But—we can share him.” At hearing that, Joe took me in his arms and spun me around thanking me repeatedly.

“Do you think whenever we get some free time, could you show me some stuff. I really liked that little tip-toe strut.”

“I learned it from a friend of mine whose into Hip-hop back at my school. In fact he competed on the first season of World of Dance he and his group. They didn’t win but they got to the Semi-finals.”

“That’s awesome. You really are the dance master. And I can’t wait to see what you bring to the World of Dance stage.”

“In fact (Y/n), can we see your routine?” asked Ben.

“Yeah I was just about to ask that. Ben’s told us that while you can combine certain genres of dance, your main focus was on contemporary. I’ve always been intrigued anytime someone says they’re a contemporary dancer.” Gwilym said. I turned to my mum and asked her how long did I have for rehearsal.

When she told me five minutes, I knew I could show them my audition routine that I had planned. But after that we had to leave cause the next group to come in had to set up their things and warmup.

The guys all took a seat along the mirrored wall while my mum handled the music.

Once my song began playing, I did my entire routine before the guys. Showing Ben’s friends that while I can unleash the beast in Hip-hop, I can be as graceful and elegant as a swan.

After the routine was done, I got a standing ovation from all four of the guys as they applauded and whistled. I gathered up my stuff and as I did, the guys all swarmed around me telling me what an amazing job I did, and that for some of the *cough*Joe*cough* I had them crying by the end of my routine.

We then left the dance studio and Ben’s friends allowed us to have our own personal family time (since Ben and I hadn’t seen each other in literally five years). We said our goodbyes and soon our mum took us out to eat as sorta a family reunion/congratulations on all of our combined successes.

It was time. The World of Dance qualifier rounds. Today was my filming date and I knew in several weeks they would soon air it on TV worldwide. Now I have performed in front of crowd before, but this—this was something else.

And not to even make me twice as nervous, I have seen what people comment on the show or the specific dancers. Most of them are nice comments but then again it’s the Internet so there’s bound to be haters out there.

This one girl from last season just a few years older than me got so much hate in fact, that she ended up shutting down her Twitter page and I’m told she gave up on dancing all together. I don’t know what I’m gonna do if that ends up being me.

I was running my routine through my head and stretching myself out. With me to support me was my mum, Ben and Ben’s friends of Bohemian Rhapsody, Rami, Gwil and Joe. With each dancing group or person that went up, I got more and more nervous. Soon a producer came up to me and said.

“(Y/n), you’ll be on up after The Jumperz.”

“Okay, thank you.” I told him. He nodded and walked away from me, at that moment I felt like I wanted to puke.

“Hey kiddo, how’s it going?” I looked up to see Ben standing over me.

“Good, very good.” He sat down beside me, his brow furrowed with concern. Crap he knows, he always knows.

“You sure?” at this point I knew I couldn’t hide it anymore. I tucked my legs into my chest and curled myself into a ball.

“I don’t think I can do this anymore Ben.”

“What do you mean?” he questioned.

“Maybe this whole thing was a mistake. Can we go home? Yeah, yeah let’s go home.” I said as I stood up.

“Now hold on, hold on love.” He took my hand into his stopping me from even walking away. “Let’s just sit down and talk about it real quick.” He stood up and we went outside of the room and stood along the hallway.

I leaned up against the wall with my arms crossed over my chest protectively and my leg bouncing with anxiety.

“Talk to me sis, what’s going on?”

“I just……I’m scared Ben. I don’t know why I am, I’ve performed in front of an audience before, I don’t know why I’m this nervous. It’s stupid I know.”

“Hey, hey, hey. No it’s not.” He said to me gently as he cupped my face, trying his best to not ruin my makeup. “You’re human, you have every right to be nervous. I’ll bet not a single one of these dancers you’re competing against isn’t feeling what you’re feeling now. And some of these guys might’ve been with well-known performers and are still feeling the nerves.”

“Is it always this nerve wracking for you every time you film something?” he nodded.

“Of course it is. I’m always worried about people’s reactions to me on screen. Even with all the positive feedback I get, I always keep my eye focused on that one negative outlook, no matter how many people say I’m good in a role.”

“I just don’t want the haters to pull me away from my dream like they did to that one dancer that came on the show last season.”

“Come here, have a seat in my lap.” He sat down on the floor and guided me till I was now sitting on his lap, holding me like a teddy bear. “There will always be haters and trolls out there in the world. That’s just what they get off of, is by bringing other people down, especially kids who go on shows like this. It’s wrong and vile but I won’t say you won’t encounter some hate. But the one thing you must keep in mind; is to never, ever let them dictate on who you are as a person.”

“Do you think I can do that?”

“Absolutely. You’re incredibly talented, you’re smart, kind, the most talented person I’ve ever met. I mean yeah I can dance but nowhere near to the level that you can. Hell you even beat out Joe in that little dance competition when you first met him a couple days ago.”

“I did do that, didn’t I?” he chuckled.

“You schooled him.”

“Ben no one says that anymore.”

“Whatever I’m a 90’s kid that was the lingo back then.”

“Back in the ancient times.” He scoffed.

“Alright miss smart-aleck I guess since you’re feeling well enough to sass me off you don’t need me anymore.” He plopped me off his lap and went to stand up but I gripped his shirt and begged.

“No Benny please!” all I could hear was his soft laughter. I hit his arm and pouted. “You are so mean!”

“Aww sissy, you know I can’t help but be a little cheeky with you.” he teased as he playfully nudged my shoulder with his arm. I smiled and nodded.

“Yeah I know cause that’s your job.”

“It is my job. Well one of the many qualifications of being your Big Brother. The most important one though, is to be there for you when you need it.” He stroked the top of my head and I hugged him.

“Thanks Ben. I’m glad that you could be here.”

“Me too. And hey, accepted or not. I’m proud of all that you’ve done in your dancing career.” He whispered in my ear as he gave me a snug embrace.

After our little bro-sis cuddle, we separated from each other and he asked me, “Do you still feel nervous?”

“A little but not as much.”

“Okay so there are two options we can do here; we can shake out the nerves, or my favorite—I can tickle them out of you.”

“No Ben you’ll ruin my costume!” I whined out as he chuckled.

“Okay, so we’ll shake them out then.” We both stood up and did our nerve shakeout.

Which was basically what he learned in theatre which was just shaking out your hands and feet counting backwards from 10, but each time we’d count, we’d go a bit faster. Once we got one, Ben picked me up and spun me around before setting me down.

“Better?”

“Better.”

“Good, oh wait one last thing before you go out, gotta shake out those negative thoughts in that brain of yours.” He cupped my face in his hands and playfully shook my head around as he growled out in an angry tone, “Get out of my sister’s head you dirty rotter’s!”

“Ben!” I laughed. He stopped as he grinned down at me.

“Had to make sure. You look beautiful, and I know you’re gonna wow everyone out there, especially the judges.”

“Thanks Benny. I love you.”

“Love you too kiddo.” He gave my nose a peck before escorting me back into the dance room. A producer was calling out my name, I looked up at Ben and he nodded to me before I went racing off towards the producer to tell him I was here.

When he saw me, he guided me towards the corridor where I would walk down, go up the stairs and racing across towards the stage. I could hear the chanting claps of the audience and their cheers and soon I heard the announcer say through the speaker.

“Give it up, for (Y/n) Jones.” I raced across the corridor, took the steps two at a time before racing across the catwalk towards the stage. As soon as I came on stage, everyone cheered and soon I was standing before Ne-Yo, Derek Hough, and Jennifer Lopez. They greeted me with waves or nods and I waved to them.

“Hello sweetie.” Jennifer greeted me.

“Hi.” I waved back to her.

“Why don’t you tell us your name?”

“My name is (Y/n) Jones and I’m from London, England.”

“Oh a British Dancer. Finally someone from the UK.” Derek proclaimed.

“So how old are you?” Ne-Yo asked me.

“I just turned nine last month.” At that the crowd cheered for me and that’s when Ne-Yo said.

“Well happy belated birthday.”

“Thank you Ne-Yo.” He winked at me and said to me.

“Let’s see what you got (Y/n).” I nodded and handed my microphone to one of the assistants before racing off towards the back of the stage as the lights went down.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in before exhaling slowly. This was it, make it or break it.

*Ben’s POV*

From backstage, my mum, the guys and I along with the other dancers could watch and see what was going on stage. I pressed my hands together in a prayer motion as I had them against my lips, c’mon little sis I know you can do it.

*Play video*

Her song routine, Ashes by Celine Dion soon came on through the speakers and she began her routine. The lights softly lit up in a sunrise color of yellow, orange, and purple. She truly shined as her dance went on, going slow when she needed before finally sticking the landing or going with the beat of the song.

That entire stage was hers to command and she used the entirety of that stage for her routine. I could hear the judges voices sound impressed with my sister’s routine, especially once the chorus struck and the hard drumbeats of the song kicked in.

The crowd was just in awe and applauded my sister, dazzled by her grace yet strength she was giving them in her performance. Doing her 540’s, leg lifts, front flips, she was like the Freddie Mercury of dancing on that stage as she showed her true colors on that stage, especially as it lit up with her as the song got more powerful.

By the end of it when she stood up and just gave that pleading face of help as she reached out towards J-Lo, the lights went dark and the entire audience went nuts.

“That was even amazing with the lights.” Said Joe.

“Agreed, she really lit that stage up.” Rami agreed.

“That’s our girl.” Mum said as I wrapped my arm around her.

“Alright, alright, alright, alright (Y/n). Now remind me how old you are?” Derek said.

“I just turned nine.” At that point Derek stood up from his chair flipping his pen which made everyone laugh. “Girl you look like you’ve been doing this for 20 years.” Everyone laughed.

“How old were you when you got into dancing?” asked J-Lo.

“I was 2.” (y/n) responded.

“Well it shows that you definitely have a passion for this. And you literally have been doing this your whole life. Just seeing you being able to do moves that—I couldn’t even do at your age till I was much older, that to me…..shows you have true love for dancing. And you already gave me goosies little missy and we just met you.”

“Uh-oh Jennifer with her goosies.” Ne-Yo said.

“She gave them to me, the goosies do not lie!”

“No they do not.” Derek said before he continued, “But just like Jennifer said. I mean my sister and I we did some contemporary a bit as kids but nowhere could we master it down just like you’ve done (Y/n). And that final move where you just landed right on your knees. I literally jumped from my seat.”

“Yeah it was like you had no bones little miss.” Ne-Yo said as my sister smiled and laughed. “Besides from what both Derek and Jennifer has said. Your timing is what really stuck out to me. Like it was like you were a part of the song itself. Like first you’d be like all smooth and fluid when the beat was gentle. But when the drumbeat kicked in hard with boom- boom boom-boom. That right there is what really stuck out to me.”

“I completely agree.” Derek said.

“Alright we’re gonna lock in our scores and we’ll see if you make it to the duels (Y/n).” J-Lo said with a smile. (Y/n) nodded and that’s when the lights dimmed down on her and we watched as the three judges locked in their scores, while making their silent commentaries to each other.

“Okay (Y/n), you need an 88 or above to qualify for the duels, let’s see what you scored.” The host said as he came out and stood beside my sister. The lights shown down (like those game show lights whenever something gets suspenseful).

First up was Derek’s score; he gave her an 90.

At that my sister made a face of shock as her smile widened and she covered her mouth in shock. The crowd cheered and up next was Ne-Yo’s score.

He gave her an 89. Finally J-Lo’s score was a 92. When the scores rounded up together was 90.3. Her score shined up on the ceiling scoreboard and (Y/n) couldn’t believe it, poor sissy was even crying.

“Congratulations (Y/n) you made it to the Duels. How’s it feel?” the host asked as he held his microphone to her.

“It feel just—absolutely amazing. All three of you have been an inspiration to be in wanting to become a dancer and this just means so much to me. Thank you for letting me get this opportunity.”

“We can’t wait to see what you bring us, cause already little Miss, you’ve got the competitive edge. It better only get better from here on out.” Ne-Yo told her. She nodded and thanked the judges one last time before running off the stage.

As she came running towards us, I had to be the first one she saw. I cheered for her as I opened my arms out for her and she raced towards me before leaping right into my arms. I spun her around as the two of us laughing joyously.

“You did it kiddo! I’m so proud of you.”

“Thanks to you Ben. I kept thinking about what you said, I dedicated my performance to you.” I felt myself tear up as I buried my face into her ponytailed hair.

“I would’ve been proud of you either way.” At this point the rest of the guys as well as our mum came up and congratulated her.

That night we celebrated her victory on making it to the next round of World of Dance. Drinks for me and the guys, we danced, sung some karaoke, and just partied all night long.

83 notes · View notes

imaginingsoftly · 5 years ago

Text

It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time Pt. 3 - Morgan Rielly

Type: roommates to lovers, Y/N insert shorts

Requested: No

Warnings: mentions of CPS, anxiety, insomnia

(Y/N = Your name, no POV change this chapter. It’s all in Y/N POV)

AN: I was planning on putting out a chapter every week, but I just finished this one and I was pretty excited about it. Enjoy!

It had been almost a week since Morgan had moved in, and they were fine. He spent most of his days training or with the guys, and Y/N was busy with teaching and finishing her Masters. They hadn’t spoken much, other than general greetings or a quick text about picking something up from the store, and Y/N was fine with that. She didn’t know how his search for a more permanent place to stay was going, and honestly she was considering letting him stay for the season if he wanted to. He wasn’t loud, and he was pretty clean. Of course it helped that she wasn’t even sure the guy knew how to turn on a stove, let alone cook anything, so he was pretty much never in the kitchen. He was always coming home with takeout or going to get dinner with the guys.

Everything would have been great if it wasn’t for her insomnia choosing now to flare it’s ugly head. It had started her junior year of college; as the courses got harder and real life fast approached, Y/N found herself spending more nights than not awake and anxious. The doctor said it was stress-induced, and that it wouldn’t be permanent, and she was right; it would come for two or three weeks and then she was sleeping fine again. It was the weeks where it flared up that day and night blended together and she found herself making increasingly stupid mistakes. Y/N had always assumed that she would leave the insomnia behind in college, but it had followed her and gotten increasingly worse. Like tonight. She was holed up in her room trying to remember how to breathe as the walls felt like they were closing in around her. It had always been like this on the really bad nights, and the only thing that helped her relax was driving.

Y/N struggled up from her spot on the floor in her room, grabbing her keys and phone with a shaky hand. A trip to the beach. That’s what she needed. She threw on a sweatshirt, her Sox hat, and took a deep breath. Morgan was sitting on the couch watching something, and she tried to sneak past him, to no avail. “Are you going to get food by any chance?”, the giant on her coach asked. Y/N shook her head. “Nah. I’m headed out to the beach.” Morgan paused his movie, turning to face her fully. “The beach? It’s like three hours away.” She smiled slightly, shaking her head. “It’s a little under two, and I need to put my feet in the water. You can come if you’d like,” she said, shocking herself. No one ever came with her on these nighttime beach trips, not even Kat when they lived together. It was her alone time to recharge and just let the ocean air take away all of her problems.

Morgan looked at her face for a moment, almost like he could see the panic she was trying to hide. His eyebrows creased together and his blue eyes met hers searchingly before he stood. Morgan turned off the TV and stepped towards his room, asking, “Am I going to need a jacket?” Y/N nodded. “You might. It can get a little chilly, depending on how strong the wind is. There’s a hurricane off the coast right now, so it might be a little cooler than normal.” He grabbed a sweatshirt from his room quickly along with some shoes, and followed Y/N out the door. Morgan beat her to the door and held it open as she exited, holding out his hand for the keys to lock the door. “Thanks,” she mumbled. He smiled gently at her. “So tell me: what beach are we going to? Do you go there a lot?” He was distracting her, and she knew it. Somehow he knew that she was anxious, and he was trying to help. “We’re going to Wrightsville Beach. It’s about ten minutes from where I went to college, and the beaches are really nice. It’s where I took most of the photos in the apartment.” Morgan hummed in acknowledgment, and they were silent the rest of the trip down to her car.

Y/N’s black Jeep was new and she was beyond proud of it, five years of incoming car payments and all. It was her first “adult” purchase, after the car her parents had given her had died outside of Philly, halfway home from Boston earlier that summer. She had taken the roof and doors off at the beginning of the summer and refused to put them back on, just out of excitement, and it was perfect for the night air. Morgan smiled when he saw her car, nodding at it. “I wondered who this belonged to. I love Jeeps.” Y/N smiled at him. “Yeah, me too. When my old car died recently, I decided to splurge and get myself the car I really wanted. I figured I’m gonna have it until it dies, so I might as well, right?” She jumped into the driver’s side as she spoke, and didn’t miss the frown Morgan threw at her Bruins lanyard as he handed her keys back to her.

“So I’ve gotta ask,” he began as she started the car, “why Boston?” Y/N smiled as she backed out of her parking spot. “I was born up there, and it’s where my parents are from. I grew up a fan of Boston sports.” She tossed Morgan her phone as she spoke. “Pick a playlist to listen to.” He scrolled through her Spotify, silent as he looked. “Is Carolina your second team?” Y/N laughed a little. “Actually, I was raised to hate them. My dad still calls you guys the Whalers, and he hated them when they were still in Hartford. I don’t hate them so much now, and they’re fun to watch, but I hate the announcers, so I don’t usually watch the games unless I’m gonna watch them on mute.”

Morgan snorted at her. “They can’t possibly be that bad.” He clicked on a playlist, scrolling through the songs as she responded. “Trust me. They’re worse than listening to Doc on NBCSN. It’s painful.” Y/N turned onto the highway as she spoke, and it was like a huge weight was lifted off her chest as the wind whipped through her ponytail and pulled some of the hair from under her hat. This was why she drove so much when she couldn’t sleep. The air loosened the tightness in her chest and the driving felt like freedom from all of her problems.

He finally settled on a playlist, and the opening notes of Silver Springs floated through her speakers. “Good choice,” Y/N said, and Morgan smiled. “Looking at your choice in playlists makes me very curious about you as a person. Who listens to broadway, Louis Armstrong, country, Dropkick Murphys, and movie songs?” Movie songs? “You mean film scores?” you asked confusedly. “I listen to those when I need to really concentrate.” You could feel Morgan looking at you as you focused on the road, and you spared a glance at him as you got onto the exit that would take you to I-40. He didn’t look satisfied. “ I grew up with a diverse music interest. Why? What do you listen to?” Morgan shrugged. “Honestly, most of the time I’m listening to whatever the guys are playing in the locker room. It’s usually some kind of rap or something upbeat, so I like it a little more chill at home.”

They drove in peaceful silence for most of the ride, only speaking for her to request a song change or for Morgan to ask a random question about Wilmington or crack a joke. It was nice, a pleasant change from her usual drives alone. The drive was fast, mostly due to a general lack of traffic, though that was probably because it was almost one in the morning and most people were in bed or at a bar. About halfway through the drive they switched over to country, and Morgan made her laugh with an exaggerated country accent as he sang along. Listening to a canadian try to imitate a southern accent was almost as bad as listening to a southerner do a Boston accent, and Y/N tried convincing him to never do that again.

They hit Wilmington suddenly, and Y/N was shocked at how quickly the drive had gone by. She took on the tone of a tour guide as they drove along the familiar WIlmington streets, pointing out places that meant a lot to her during her four years in the town. “I wish we had come a little bit earlier. There’s this taco place I loved that I haven’t had in forever. I used to eat there almost every week. The queso is incredible.” Morgan jumped in before she could say anything else. “I thought you said you were lactose intolerant?” Y/N smiled, taking a deep breath as they drove over the bridge onto Wrightsville Beach. “I am, but Islands is so worth it.” The smell of salty ocean filled the air as they drove past the condos and vacation rentals that made up a majority of that side of the island.

They hit the tip of the island quickly, and Y/N smiled as she pulled into the parking lot of her favorite beach access. She had barely put the car in park before she was jumping out, shoes left in the floorboard. Morgan caught up with her at the waterline, where her feet were already in the surf and she was taking deep breaths of the ocean air. “You weren’t kidding when you said you like the ocean, eh?” Y/N smiled at him, shaking her head. “This is my go-to escape. There’s nothing quite like the ocean air.” She turned and began walking along the water, the waves hitting halfway up her shins. Morgan followed alongside her, and their shoulders bumped occasionally. “There’s a spot at the very end of the island up here that’s absolutely beautiful. When the tide comes in, it sits about 2 inches deep on this one part of the beach before it just totally drops off. If we get lucky, we might get to see some bioluminescent plankton.” She could see Morgan looking at her confused, so she explained before he could ask. “They’re these things in the water that glow in the dark. It’s wicked cool, and you can only see them at the two tips of the island.” He nodded.

They made it to the tip of the island after about 20 minutes of walking, and it was one of the most fun beach trips she’d made in a while. It was nice to come alone and enjoy the silence, but she’d forgotten how nice it was to walk and have someone to talk to. Morgan had asked her questions about her life, and her time in Wilmington, and just about everything else. In return, she’d learned a little bit more about him. It was one of the most effortless conversations she could remember having in a long time.

“So we’re working baseball, and one of my coworkers knows basically nothing. It starts when she says ‘sweep’. We were all like Sam, no! So then, a little while later, she says ‘guys I’m feeling extras today,’” Y/N retold animatedly. “No!” Morgan exclaimed, his eyes lighting up with disbelief. “Yes! And then we go to fourteen innings and lose!” She laughed. “We never let her live that down. We were still telling new hires about it two years later when I graduated. They might still be telling people, honestly.” Morgan laughed as she spoke, listening intently to every word. “So did you like your job?” Y/N nodded. “Yeah. I mean I got paid to do physical labor and watch sports. It was the ideal college job, honestly.” Morgan nodded in agreement.

Y/N reached into the water with her hand, shaking it quickly to splash the water around. Bits of glowing blue appeared around her hand, and she looked up to see Morgan looking down in amazement. “These are the bioluminescent plankton.” He pulled out his phone quickly, recording the flashing blue surrounding her hand. “Are they harmful?” He asked. “No,” she responded, standing and drying off her hand. “They’re just really cool ocean creatures.”

They moved up the beach together, out of the surf and into dry sand. Y/N flopped down, laying back to look at the stars. It was dark enough here to see some of the constellations, and she smiled up at them contentedly. Morgan sank down next to her, laying back with his hands behind his head. “This is nice,” he said quietly. “Thanks for letting me join you.” Y/N held out a fist for him to bump. “Thanks for joining me. It’s been fun.” Morgan touched his fist with hers and then draped his arm across his chest. “So I noticed you fist bump a lot. There any reason for that?”

“I’m a hugger,” Y/N explained, chuckling softly. “I know most people aren’t, so I get the physical contact through fist bumps, which most people don’t mind.” Morgan turned his head from the stars to her face, searching it. “If you need a hug, you just need to ask. I like hugs.” She smiled at him, starting to nod until she felt the sand scratch her cheek. “Thanks, Morgan. I appreciate that.” They stayed like that for a while, alternating between looking at each other and the stars as they talked about nothing until Morgan checked his phone. “It’s almost six am,” he said, sounding surprised. Y/N sat up slightly, squinting at the phone screen he was displaying for her. “Well damn,” she said, standing. “You don’t have morning skate, do you?” Morgan followed suit, dusting off his legs as he responded. “No, we have the day off. We travel to Nashville tomorrow morning.” They began walking back in the direction they came. Two and a half hours. They had laid there and talked for almost two and a half hours.

“So I’ve been wanting to ask, and feel free to not answer this if it feels too personal, but do you get really anxious like earlier a lot?” Y/N could tell that he didn’t ask out of anything but concern, and it confirmed what she’d already suspected; he’d read her like a book. “Only when I get really stressed out. I have these periods of insomnia that are sometimes marked by enough anxiety that I need to drive to calm down. I usually go for drives around the city, but sometimes I drive out here if it’s really bad.” Morgan stopped her with a hand on her arm, looking into her eyes seriously. “Did I trigger this round? Is having me in your apartment too stressful?” Y/N grabbed his free hand tightly. “No! No, it’s not your fault. I just have a lot going on in my classroom, and I’m almost finished with my Masters. It felt like too much this week, but you’re fine. You definitely aren’t part of the problem.” Morgan looked into her eyes for another few seconds, and was apparently satisfied with whatever he saw there. “Do you want to talk about what’s going on in your classroom?”

She sighed and began to walk again. “I can’t tell you much, just because it’s about my students, but I’ve had to call CPS a few times already regarding one of my students and they’re basically just ignoring my concerns. If it was a minor issue I wouldn’t be so stressed, but I’m seriously concerned about the safety of this student and I can’t do anything but keep making reports.” Morgan listened intently to everything she said, nodding along. “That sucks, Y/N,” he said, gently throwing an arm across your shoulders. She sunk into the half-hug, allowing him to support some of her weight as they walked along the beach. “I’m hoping they’ll have to respond if I make enough reports, but I’m not holding my breath.” She took a deep breath, and tried to push the issue from her brain for now. That was an issue for Monday. “So since it’s already almost six, do you want to get breakfast at this local coffee chain when they open? They open at six, and they have great coffee and even better breakfast sandwiches.” Morgan nodded, distracted by something on the skyline. The sun was coming up, and the line right along the water was already a brilliant orange.

They walked in silence for a little while, watching the sun slowly rise over the water. Morgan was still quiet when they made it to Port City Java, and he only spoke again when he had taken his first sip of coffee. “How do you do it?” He asked suddenly. Y/N put down her sandwich, lifting an eyebrow at him confusedly. “Do what?” He gestured out into the distance. “Teach kids. Watch them get hurt and only be able to make reports. Hamilton told me about the school that you teach at. How do you teach those kids and know that a lot of them won’t graduate, won’t go to college?” Y/N paused to think about her response before she spoke. “I do it because I look at those kids and I see a lot of hope. They want to learn. A lot of them come to school already behind because they don’t have access to preschool, and the state has already given up on them because they’re in public school, but they still care. They still try unbelievably hard to catch up. My coworkers and I joke that North Carolina hates teachers, but really?” She gestured with her hands, pointing at everything and nothing. “They just hate public education. They put their kids in private and charter schools. They don’t care what happens to the kids in public ed as long as the press doesn’t say anything.” Y/N sighed, shrugging her shoulders. “I love those kids. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be, but it kills me to see the system working against them. I know the statistics. I know what will happen to most of them, but I can’t help but hope that I can help at least one of them beat what the stats say.” Morgan stared at her as she finished talking, long enough that she started to feel a little uncomfortable. Finally he reached out a hand, gripping one of hers. “I think you’ve definitely found the right profession.” He smiled at her, and she couldn’t help but smile back.

#morgan rielly imagine #nhl imagines #nhl imagine #good idea ml

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superthiccthighssavelives · 5 years ago

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Give Me A Try

Anonymous asked:

could you do a taron fic based off of the song “give me a try.” by the wombats?? everytime I hear that damn song taron pops into my mind

Thanks my lovely anon, I was thinking and thinking about this and what I could do, and more than just a one shot came to mind. I have no idea how long this will be or where it’s going...but I am here for it.

This is going to be switching POVs, btw. It will start off PG and casually slide into NSFW I’m sure later on...

I hope you enjoy the ride!

Chapter 1 - The London Underground

What a epically, incredibly, awful day I am having. Seriously.

If it wasn't bad enough that I've spilled coffee all over my new Michael Kors white blouse, I've also broken a heel on my shoe, and now, because of the incredulous heavy rain, I have missed my train.

I've only moved to London a short 2 months ago, and have been getting acquainted with the city and getting around. I've been taking the tube every day at the same time. I see the same people, I take the same route.

I was gifted, I truly mean gifted, with a terribly fabulous job at British GQ. Ok, maybe not that fabulous, but it's a start. I was assistant to the fashion editor.

Basically my job was to do anything, and everything. Coffee, scheduling, phone calls, picking up dry cleaning, you name it, I do it.

I have a friend in the fashion industry who helped me score the gig, and although my goal is not in fashion, or even entertainment, I do need experience in the journalism world.

So, here I am. Soaking wet, hobbling with a broken shoe, running in an attempt to get on the next train before the doors close on me, which is just about to happen.

And...there it goes. I take a deep breath and try to refrain from screaming at the top of my lungs in front of a bunch of random people down here. This day is just shot to hell.

I want my bed, and a glass of vodka.

It feels like forever for the next train. My feet hurt, I just want to sit down. How long has it been?

What seems like an hour later, I see the lights heading my way and I am ready to collapse. The doors ding open, and following suit today, I trip on air and free fall into an elderly gentleman, who gives me an angry scowl.

I try to apologize, but he turns away. Another deep breath. And another. I can do this. Just 15 minutes until my stop.

I look around for a spot to sit, it seems 7:00pm is the hottest time to ride the tube, every seat is filled.

I’m so close to just sitting on the damn floor, I’m beyond caring at this point. Of course, the only salvageable thing I’m wearing is my pants, and decide against it. I’m holding the heel of my broken shoe in my hand while gripping onto the overhead rail. The train darkens as we speed through a tunnel, except after a few seconds it’s still not lit back up.

I am jerked back violently as the train comes to a screeching stop.

Really? I mean, seriously? How on Earth can this many things just go wrong today. Why am I being punished?

A voice overhead tells us there is a delay (obviously), to hold tight and we should be going again shortly.

I want to cry, can this day just end? I’ve had enough. I don’t even have anyone to go home and bitch to. My best friend isn’t due here for another 3 months after she finishes her internship with a movie studio back in the US.

A dim light flicks on, but we’re still not moving. I just want to sit down. That’s it. I rest my head against my arm, that’s also tired, of holding it above my head. I feel my eyes water a bit, and pull myself back. ’It’s just a bad day, I can get through this.’ is repeating in my head, over and over.

I take a look around, no one else seems too bothered by the delay. People are still on their phones, listening to music and reading books. Their faces pretty much stoney. There are a few people walking through cars looking for seats, maybe that’s what I should be doing as well. I’m sure there is bound to be one on here somewhere.

I limp my way down the center aisle towards the door, trying to look ahead for an empty spot. As I’m stepping through the opening, the lights flick off again and I’m hit with a force. I think I’ve barreled into another person, shit. How many times is this going to happen today?

The train jerks and the lights flash back on, instead of being flung backwards, I reach out to the only thing I can grab onto to keep me upright. I glance up, a pair of light green eyes gaze back down at me. I get a bit disoriented for a moment, and notice my hands grasping onto this man’s jacket. His hands are firm on my lower back. I quickly gain my balance and take a step back.

“Sorry” It’s a shotty, inanimate apology, but I am just not in the mood for niceties. He smiles, and nods, his gaze still lingering.

“Excuse me” I hear from behind me.

Instead of moving towards the next car, I take a step to the side, almost in perfect time with the poor man I just crashed into, except in the opposite direction. A few more people pass through, and I seem to be frozen in place. I feel his eyes still watching me, and I’m looking anywhere else to avoid any eye contact. I have to get out of here.

Finally I get to pass through the door and claim an open seat. I rest my head against the back of the chair and close my eyes. Am I home yet?

10 long minutes later, I arrive at my stop and make my way up stairs that seem to go on forever. I cannot walk 5 blocks with my broken shoe, I’ve got to find a cab or something. I feel someone behind me, but I’m probably being paranoid, the train just let out and …”Hey...excuse me!”

“Hey, Miss!”

I turn to see if I’m the one being addressed, turns out, I wasn’t being paranoid at all.

It was the guy on the train, coming towards me, yelling at me to wait. I have no idea why he’s following me, but I am not about to find out. I jump in the nearest empty cab and take a deep breath. Maybe I should get a car...

Graphics courtesy of @stardustmess

#taron egerton imagine #taron x reader #taron egerton x reader #taron egerton #fanfic #reader insert #for anon #writing #give me a try

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cephalo-trio · 5 years ago

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Deepsea Escape Part 7

A Splatoon 2 Story written by Splat-Tendency

Starring: Lexi Camellia (POV)

((Lexi was on her way to deliver the last mail at first, and then she wakes up in the underground subway station. She has no clue where she is or how is she going to get back to the surface. She has no choice, but to venture through this abandoned station alone.))

"FO REALSIES?! YOU HAVE ALL 3 THANGS, ALREADY?!" The telephone is overjoyed that I brought over the 3rd thang. If only he had the decency to use his inside voice. Then again, this station is more vast. "ONE MORE THANG AND YOUR JOURNEY TO THE PROMISED LAND AWAITS! TIME TO BIGGITY BOUNCE, APPLICANT 10,008!" The telephone remained silent after that.

I was covering my ears from the loud talking. "My eardrums..." I winced as I stopped covering my ears. I stared at the missing poster and sighed. "I know, I shouldn't be worried about Agent 3 but... I wonder how he's doing.."

I started to think about Agent 3. He has fed me some snacks and took care of me once I regained conciousness. He is.. a very nice guy, despite him trying to kill me.

The train ride to the lines between G and I is gonna take a while. So, I felt like scrolling through the images I've taken the last two Octoboss encounters. Firstly, I encountered the sanitized clone of the Octo Samurai in Lines J and F. I had to take him down in a Baller without getting knocked off the arena. Secondly, my quarrel with the Octo Shower Supreme didn't take long while my Inkjet was active. It was located near the Break n' Bounce, where I woke up at with Agent 3.

The images of the cloned tentacles that Cuttlefish had called out are too good to be true. "Who could've cloned Octavio's troops..? It wasn't just a coincidence.." I mumbled. After several hours of fighting through numbers of sanitized troops, it feels like I've seen them before when I used to work for the Octarian Army. How strange.

Several minutes has passed and C.Q Cumber begins speaking through the intercom. "We are now arriving between Lines G and I. I repeat, we are now arriving between Lines G and I." This was addressed to me, since I'm the only applicant on board.

Before I got off the train, I decided to talk to Cuttlefish. "Um... Captain..?" I approached to him.

He turned to look at me. It seems, he was a bit lonesome about something. "Yes, Agent 8? Shouldn't you be gettin' off?"

I rubbed my left arm that was patched up. "It won't take long.. I just wanted to say... I'm sorry for being reckless, earlier.. I've been trying my best to get us out of here.. I just miss my friends and family.. They must be really worried.." I bowed to him in apology. "I kinda was like this when I used to be an elite.. I'm a wreck.."

Cuttlefish seemed a bit surprised. "Agent 8, it's alright.. When I was a young'un like you, I used to be reckless and carefree myself. It's not somethin' to be ashamed of." He cheered me up, a bit. "I'm worried about my friends and family, too.. My granddaughters, Callie and Marie haven't heard from me also.."

I didn't know he was related to the Squid Sisters. The same duo who made me wake up and realize that I was a mere puppet to Octavio. "...I actually met the Squid Sisters. It happened a year ago after Agents 4 and 5 returned the Great Zapfish.." I explained the whole story. Callie was brainwashed, Marie and the recent agents rescued her. My closest friend, Fynn was involved with this incident as well.

Shocked, Cuttlefish listened to my story. "Callie... If only I was there to save her... I'm glad, she okay thanks to the recruits.." Cuttlefish felt relieved. "You said, Fynn was also brainwashed..?"

I nodded honestly. "We were on pursuit of an elite who went AWOL and we happened... to capture Fynn... After all that, I felt really awful to him.. And then, he forgave me after all I've done.." I sat down with him. "The reason I wanna open up to Inkling society is redemption.. I wanted to turn over a new leaf after all I've done.. Thanks to Fynn's guidance, I feel confident of starting a new life.." Here I am, pouring my hearts out to someone I just met 3 hours ago. Then again, I can sympathize with Cuttlefish worrying about his granddaughters for a long time.

I see... Well, I'm sure Fynn really misses ya! The same way my granddaughters misses me!" He gave me a kind smile. "Now then, let's continue to work together to get out of here! To see our loved ones again!" He's back to his demanding self.

My eyes were filled with determination when he said it. It pains me to say this, but I'll stop searching my father's whereabouts for now. Our lives are still on the line. If we don't make it out of here, we won't see the light of day again. Literally, speaking.

After speaking with Cuttlefish, I stepped into the arena of the last sanitized boss. If I proceed, then I'll claim my last thang. Upon arrival, the huge object rose from the tainted ink. In front of me was a huge industrial toaster oven. The first Octo-Boss in the Canyon was named the Octo-Oven.

"Toastie..." That's the nickname, I gave him back in the Canyon. But that was not my Toastie. I shook my head in disbelief and took caution. If it's just a copy, I'll have no problems beating this one. "Sorry, but you're in my way.." I readied my Blaster and charged at the fake Octo-Oven.

3 minutes have passed and the oven's multiple faces started popping out at me. As I recall, Agents 4 and 5 - Dawn and Sage have fought the real one before. I wonder how they're doing since Marie recently recruited them.

I immediately climbed to the top where a large tentacle is exposed, but it's guarded with sanitized troops. I swiftly blasted every last one of them in order to finish it off for good. Those damn spreaders are persistant enough.

As the large tentacle grows larger and larger as I shot it many times, it bursts into a huge gyser of ink. It must be my que to turn tail and flee. I superjumped as fast as I could and stared at the enemy in despair.

The cloned Octo-Oven was nothing but a pile of my own ink. I managed to take a breather and sat down on the floor. I was obviously drenched in sweat. "Haa... haa... Damn, that was rough.." I wiped the sweat off of my forehead. Once the test is over, I recieved yet another Mem Cake. It's one of the Squid Sisters - Marie Cuttlefish. Thinking back to when I first met Marie in the Canyon, Marie was hesitant at first but she had gained my trust after atoning for my past. She is the one who changed my life, after all with her music with Callie.

Once all the sanitized bosses are taken care of, I arrived at my destination on Station E-02: Bust & Run Station. My long journey through the metro will soon end. I can finally go home. "I've came a long way for this... Time to gather the last thang." I took aim at the barrier. As I pulled the trigger, the barrier is already broken. I quickly snagged the 4th thang and left. "Now, what do I do with these things..? They kinda look odd, though." Once the 4 thangs are collected, maybe I have to make some kind of spaceship to fly out of here? "Whatever works, works.." I shrugged.

Back in the main station, Cuttlefish and I spoke with the talking phone. "Way to go, bucko! We can finally bust outta here! Sweet freedom at last!" Cuttlefish gently gave me a pat on the back due to my injury. It didn't hurt that much.

"Alright, Phone.. We got the 4 thangs. Now, take us to this.. 'Promised Land'. I wanna go home.." I crossed my arms, awaiting for his response.

"I... I CAN'T BELIEVE IT..!! YOU HAVE DONE IT, APPLICANT 10,008!! THE PROMISED LAND HAS ARRIVED AT LAST! NOW, LET'S MAKE LIKE A TREE AND BRANCH OUT!" Suddenly, there was an electric reaction from the phone. As it screamed an eerie tone, all of the four thangs started to form into one object. The phone is already on top of it. It must be flying us out of here.

"So, it is a spaceship..!! Just like in those sci-fi movies..!" I watched in awe as the strange spaceship opened the hatch for me and Cuttlefish.

Outisde, Marina seemed a bit skeptical about this strange object. "This can't be right.... Doesn't this look like a blender to you, Pearlie..?!" Marina sounded doubtful.

Pearl gasped and realized what was going on. "This ain't good... Eight!! Cap!! Don't go in there!!" She cried out through the intercom, but it was already too late.

Me and Cuttlfish were already inside the spaceship. I turned to look at Cuttlefish with a smile on my face. "Inkopolis, I'm coming home..!!" I grinned happily, preparing for lift off.

As the hatch closed, I couldn't wait to ride out of here to see the sun again. Suddenly, I heard one last thing from the phone before just about ready to leave this place.

"INGREDIENT AXQUISITION COMPLETE... REFORMATTING MATTER..."

To Be Continued...

#;;plot: deepsea escape #;;lexi #;;agent 8

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casseythebee · 5 years ago

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Crown of Roses

Bingo Spot: Fourth of July

Summary: After a long debate you and Sam finally set on a date for your wedding and the day has finally come.

Pairing: Sam x reader

Words: 1.7k-ish

Warning: pregnancy, a tiny bit of smut (it is literally just kissing in underwear), language

[Y/N’s POV]

“Triplets!”

“Dean calm down, it’s going to be okay,” you say to him holding your hands up in a defensive position.

“How are we going to be able to take care of triplets?” he bellows. “Wait a minute how long have you known and not told me?”

You and Sam make eye contact but look away quickly, avoiding Dean’s glare. “Well-” Sam starts but you cut him off with a death stare of your own. “We have to tell him at some point.”

You shake your head. “He is going to be pissed.”

“Cas,” Sam says, “had his suspicions early on but was not confirmed until after about 3 weeks give or take a few days.”

“You didn’t tell me for 13 weeks!”

“We didn’t want to tell you until we were absolutely sure that the babies would survive,” you admit. You have read that the risk of miscarriage is low after at least 10 weeks and that most women come out and say it after the first trimester. But you were scared. Sometimes multiple pregnancies don’t always survive, more so back in the day but you just wanted to stay safe. “It is a set of twin girls and a boy.”

“Cas! Why did you change it?” Charlie screeches. “I love that song!”

“By now you should've somehow

Realized what you gotta do!” you and Charlie scream-sing in unison.

Cas is driving, Charlie is upfront and you are sprawled out in the back. You are 12 hours into a 13 and a half-hour drive down to Padre Island, Texas. You and Sam chose the Fourth of July and the island for your wedding.

“And all the roads we have to walk are winding

And all the lights that lead us there are blinding!” you two sing again.

Charlie is wiggling around in her seat dancing to the best of her ability in the cramped truck. “Come on Cassey! Sing along with us!”

“Because maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me!” he sings in his deep voice.

“You're my wonderwall!” you yell.

Cas and Charlie are going to be your bridesmaids while Jack and Dean are going to be Sam’s groomsmen. Your bridesmaids helped you pick out your dress and you got to pick out their outfits. You wanted a red-themed wedding with roses because roses have always been your thing. You and Sam rented the honeymoon suite for the week while the rest of the gang is only staying the night.

You decided to keep the wedding small not a lot of people just your closest friends.

“Like a river flows surely to the sea!” Charlie screams.

“Wait! Wait! Wait!” you yell over the loud music. “I want this to be the song to be our wedding song! But the Tyler Joseph version!”

“Yes, that would be adorable!” Charlie gushes. “Now I want to listen to them.”

You guys spend the next hour and a half screaming along to the lyrics of Twenty One Pilots and rapping to the best of your ability.

“We are here. Look at the view,” Cas says. It is a beautiful beach with bright blue water and golden sand, the people are starting to thin out leaving the beach practically empty.

You all pull up to a nice hotel and all pile out to rush the hotel to check-in. It is only 6 o’clock so after you all drop off your stuff in your rooms and head out to get dinner and explore.

“Sammy my feet and back hurt,” you wine giving him puppy dog eyes.

He leans over and places a kiss on your forehead. “We are almost there, love. It’s right there.”

Dean found a pub that is walking distance to the hotel that you are all going to eat at. Once again you eat way too much for dinner and Dean drinks a lot and you guys are out of there by 8.

“I can’t walk around anymore, you guys go out and explore I’ll go back to the hotel,” you tell them turning to go.

Sam grabs on to your arm and says, “I’ll go with.”

You two head up to your room and finally get a look around. On the wall opposite the door is a big king-sized bed. In a crevice in the are a heart-shaped hot tub and a spacious bathroom with a large double shower. Across from the bed is a huge flat screen tv.

“So… what do you want to do?” you ask looking up at him.

He leans over and starts kissing you. His tongue runs over your bottom lip asking for permission to enter, which you oblige to happily. He starts backing the two of you back towards the bed until the back of your knees hit the edge.

“Lay down,” Sam growls.

You turn around and crawl towards the headboard before turning back and settling down. When you look back at Sam he is in nothing but his boxers so you start to strip down to your underwear. He kisses a trail up your legs, your chest, and finally stopping at your mouth.

You sigh into his mouth before pulling away and laying a hand on his chest. “I am so tired after that car ride that I just need to relax, I’m sorry.”

“No, you are totally fine.”

You both settle in under the covers and put on a Marvel movie, Winter Soldier to be exact. About halfway through the movie, you doze off and Sam soon follows suit. But only a few minutes later you are yanked awake when Charlie, Dean, Cas, and Jack barge into the room.

“Woah, woah, woah, there is no sleeping together now! You guys have to get ready!” Dean says coming over. “Wait a minute please tell me you guys didn’t… you know, do it.”

“No, I promise,” You yawn and rub your eyes, “I know that is bad luck. What time is it anyway?”

“Almost 9 and we need to get you ready. Dean, Jack, Sam you go to the other room and get ready. Set up the beach we meet you down there, okay?” Charlie says looking at each of them. “Now go!”

When they are finally gone she grabs your dress out of the closet along with her’s and Cas’ suit. “You are going to look positively gorgeous in this.”

“Oh stop it, you’re too kind,” Cas jokes.

You all giggle and start to get ready. Charlie helps you get into the dress and do your makeup. When you are all done you look into the full-length mirror in the closet. Long whitish-pinkish lace hugs your frame and pools at your feet creating a train behind you. A sweetheart shaped neckline accentuates your breasts and makes them look full. The off the shoulder, full, sheer straps pull the dress together nicely. You decided to go natural for makeup, with nothing but sparkly lipgloss and mascara. Cas actually did your hair in large ringlets cascading down your shoulders and back with a crown of roses atop your head.

Next Charlie slips into her dress. It has the same sweetheart neckline and is a candy apple red fit and flare dress, with tank top straps. You french braid a couple of pieces of her hair and pull them back before weaving baby’s breath into it. She slips into plain black flats before looking into the mirror.

“Oh my god! I didn’t even realize this dress had pockets!” Charlie yells in excitement. “You did a great job making me look pretty. Thank you.” She turns and hugs you, making sure she doesn’t squish your baby belly.

“Cas you have to get ready as well,” you say turning to him. “You are not allowed to wear that dirt trench coat to my wedding.”

“It’s fine.” He snaps his fingers and the suit you picked out for him magically appears on him, and his old clothes are neatly folded on the bed.

“Show off,” you say and Charlie rolls her eyes.

Cas is wearing a black suit with a white button-down, a red vest underneath, and a red and black striped tie.

“Looks like you forgot something smart ass,” you scold him and reach into his suit bag to grab the red pocket square before folding it and tucking it in.

“You look gorgeous, sweetheart,” Cas admires stooping down to place a kiss on top of your head.

You whisper a quiet thank you to him as you feel your face heat up. “Wait where are my shoes?”

“Shit did Dean forget to grab them?” Charlie rips through everything trying to find them before you lay a hand on her arm.

You lightly say to her, “It’s okay. It will be kind of fun to go barefoot, I can dig my toes in the sand. Besides, the shoes will hurt my feet anyways.”

Cas helps you walk to the car because your feet still hurt, and you notice Dean left Baby for your guys to arrive in style.

Cas drives agonizingly slow to the beach but lucky for you the view is amazing. It is a clear night and the sky looks amazing, the stars and moon lighting up the night.

A gasp escapes you when you see what the boys set up for you. There is a long and wide trail of roses and rose petals leading from the foot of the stairs to the arch, which is decorated with vines of roses. Along the path are lit candles. On each side of the path, there are five chairs arranged neatly, each of them filled with other hunters dressed up in their finest clothes. Among the crowd are Claire, Alex, and the witch twins. Underneath the arch, Jody stands in the middle with Sam to your right and behind him are Dean and Jack- in that order.

Cas gets out of the car and offers you his arm. “My lady,” he says with a smirk and wink.

You grab his arm and he helps you out of the car and starts walking you down the stairs. Charlie grabs the train behind you to keep it from dragging and you all walk down together.

When you all get to the end Charlie walks off to stand in her spot and Cas brushes a kiss against your cheek. “Be good to her, or else,” Cas warns Sam.

“Ready?” Sam asks grabbing your hands.

“Ready is most definitely my middle name.”

Fireworks go off a little way down the beach as well as your heart.

#Sam Winchester #sam winchester x reader #sam winchester fluff #Superntaural #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural fic #supernatural fluff #fluff bingo #fourth of july #dean winchester #castiel #Jack Kline #jody mills #claire novak #alex jones #oceans of roses #crown of roses

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deanspillowprincess · 3 years ago

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Tag 9 people to learn more about their interests!

Tagged by the wonderful @mieczyhale

MUSIC

fav genre? Alternative, pop, pop-punk, classic rock

fav artist? Fall Out Boy

fav song? Last of the real ones by Fall Out Boy

most listened song recently? “we don't talk about Bruno" from the Encanto soundtrack

song currently stuck in your head? "Blinded by the light" by Manfred Manns Earth Band

5 fav lyrics?

1. “I wanna scream I love you from the top of my lungs, But I’m afraid that someone else will hear me” - The (Shipped) Gold Standard by Fall Out Boy

2. “I parked my car right between the Methodist, And the school that used to be ours, The holidays linger like bad perfume, You can run, but only so far” - ‘tis the damn season by Taylor Swift

3. “Her faith in love is better on sunny days” - City Grown Willow by Radio Company

4. “And I went home, Chasing twisters in the canyon, My cathedral is the badlands, Dust and devils on my conscience, Come back to me darlin’” - Chasing Twisters by Delta Rae

5. “If I can live through this, If I can live through this, If I can live through this, I can do anything” - Champion by Fall Out Boy

- - - - -

BOOKS

fav book genre? fantasy, horror, mystery, romance

fav writer? either Terry Pratchett or Walter Moers, but I love me some Garth Nix too

fav book? The City of Dreaming Books by Walter Moers

fav book series? until JK-Terfling showed her colours it would have been HP, but now it’s gotta be the Howl’s Moving Castle trilogy

comfort book? it sounds silly, but its usually books I read as a little kid - Dr Seuss, the Brambly Hedge books, Beatrix Potter books, that kind of thing

perfect book to read on a rainy day? any, obviously

fav characters? Sophie Hatter from Howl’s Moving Castle, Granny Weatherwax and Sam Vimes from Discworld, Lirael from the Old Kingdom series

5 quotes from your fav books that you know by heart? The only one that comes to mind is “This is where my story begins” from The City of Dreaming Books by Walter Moers. I’m not the sort of person who memorises that stuff, although I know most of my favourite poems by heart

- - - - -

TV AND MOVIES

fav tv/movie genre? comedy, fantasy, mystery

fav movie? How to Train Your Dragon

comfort movie? Howl’s Moving Castle

movie you watch every year? I try and do a Hobbit/LOTR marathon every year, as well as all the HTTYD films, but apart from that it’s usually only Christmas movies I reach for each year

fav tv show? Masterchef or The Great British Bake Off

comfort tv show? GBBO

most rewatched tv show? at this point, probably Critical Role (I know it’s not technically a TV show, but I watch it on my TV so I say it counts)

ultimate otp? Hiccup/Astrid, Sterek, Merthur, Stoney, me and any fictional character I’m attracted to

5 fav characters?

1) Dean Winchester (Supernatural - come on, you’ve seen the url, this should not be a surprise to anyone)

2) Astrid (How To Train Your Dragon)

3) Stiles Stilinski (Teen Wolf)

4) Gwaine (Merlin)

5) Sophie Hatter (Howl’s Moving Castle)

Gotta tag a bunch of people to do this, so @penguinsandpanthers, @crossbonesandcutlery @threedaybreakdown @jordantargaryen @canitwaitforabit @strawberryhi @aegis-shield @audioshoes @the-busy-ghost

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shipcestuous · 7 years ago

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"Odd and True" Episode 2: Revenge of the Shipper (Submission)

(This post is covering chapters 3 through 6 of the book. And I thought it couldn’t get any ‘cestier, but I was incorrect.)

Picking up where I left off last time (sorry for the wait, by the way; work is kicking my ass), we’re back in 1909 again, the story’s present, and Od and Tru have just been reunited after two years. The sisters fall asleep in the same bed the same way they did when they were young, although Tru notes:

“[T]he bed stretched no wider or longer than before, and we had to sleep with our knees knocking into each other….

In the morning, I awoke to the warmth of the sunlight brightening my face and the sight of my sister and her rumpled brown hair lying next to me. On the back of her neck gleamed the little clasp of the gold chain that held the key to the mystery box she’d spoken of the night before–the box that contained a story of some sort.

How my fingers itched to reach out and unfasten that clasp, to unlock the box.”

Of course I’m looking at this moment with shipper goggles fully in place, but I still can’t help but be reminded of those movie scenes where Character A wakes up next to Character B (usually after some romantic stuff) and is happy to realize it wasn’t a dream at all and they’re actually here. Also, although I know Tru’s talking about a literal box and all, I can’t help but read that line in a shippier way. My shameless shipper goggles at work, friends.

When Od wakes up, Tru asks her to stay here with her and their grouchy aunt, but their aunt doesn’t want Od there and says that she’d been told not to come back. Od tells her, “I’m tired of living without my sister. I’m taking her with me…. I want to save her.“ “Save her from what?“ “From you. And the other monsters.”

(Their aunt Viktoria is the sister of Maria and Magnus– Viktoria is the middle sister–who used to believe in and love magic along with them. They actually formed a little group as kids called “MarViLUs,” a combination of the letters in the three siblings’ names; the “L” comes from their last name, Lowenherz, meaning “lionheart”. However, Viktoria now pretends not to believe in magic and hates when Od talks about it.)

Od and Viktoria get into a fight over whether Tru will stay home or leave with Od, and Od accuses their aunt of “keeping her trapped out here, just like our father did to our mother." This accusation echoes Magnus’s accusations toward their father, another way the sisters’ relationship mirrors Magnus and Maria’s.

Od teaches Tru how to fight and tries again to convince her to come with her, even telling Tru twice that "we’re meant to be together." (Ignore that sound in the distance; it’s just me screaming.) Tru tells her that unlike Od, she can’t just leave, because "I’m a cripple…. I’m deformed”–words that really hurt Od to hear, making her tear up.

Tru asks Od again about their uncle Magnus and what happened to the girls’ father: whether Magnus truly made him disappear, or if Od is saying “in a delicate manner, that [their] uncle was a murderer." Od dodges the question, and also Aunt Viktoria’s questions about whether Od has been in contact with Magnus, and I’m still on the edge of my seat to find out exactly what went down back then with Magnus, Maria, and the girls’ father.

Ultimately, the sisters and their aunt are at the train station, saying their goodbyes. Tru is torn between staying home where she feels safer and following her big sister. Even as she rises from her wheelchair to hug Od goodbye, she’s unsure. But then, "Od pulled me close enough for me to feel her heart pounding against my chest. I couldn’t let her go.” To their aunt’s outrage, and with Od’s help, Tru boards the train. As the sisters ride away, Tru describes Od’s eyes as being “as luminescent as the sun stealing through the clouds behind her,” from how happy she is to have her sister by her side. Thus ends chapter 3. (Yeah, all that was one chapter.)

In chapter 4, we find ourselves in Od’s POV, as she remembers 1896 (so Od is about 6 here, and Tru is 2). Od remembers their routine: their father would stop by their house for a week every other month. And every alternating month, “when Papa specifically wasn’t visiting,” Magnus would show up and help Maria care for her daughters.

When neither of them are there, odd things happen. Supernatural things. And Maria falls sick. So one night, Od prays really hard that Magnus will show up to help them (as he told her to do in her previous flashback, citing the strength of their family bond). The next day, he shows up, and when Od tells him how Maria is sick (it’s morning sickness, btw; she’s pregnant), he’s upset. “Not again." He asks the girls not to eavesdrop on his conversation with Maria, so of course Od does just that.

Magnus tells Maria that "you brought us to California to make a better life for the both of us” and that with every baby that her husband “saddles you with, you get stuck deeper and deeper." Maria feels stuck. Magnus volunteers to take her and the girls with him elsewhere (another parallel to the Od/Tru relationship). Their argument intensifies, Maria throws a pot, and Magnus rides off to blow off steam.

An hour later, the girls’ father shows up. (His name is Louis, by the way. I’ll be using that from now on, for brevity’s sake.) Immediately, Od recognizes that "there’s going to be an awful battle” when Magnus comes back. When she tells her father that Uncle Magnus is here, he gets agitated. “Is he in there with your mother?” She tells Louis that Maria and Magnus fought and he rode off, because Mama is sick, because she’s going to have a baby, and then Louis goes in the house to comfort the tearful Maria.

Magnus doesn’t come back in time for supper. Meanwhile, Louis is reading to the girls, the Grimms’ story of “The Robber Bridegroom." (Which is an interesting story to tell, considering that that’s basically how Magnus thinks of him.) When Magnus does show up, it’s right as Louis finishes the story. I’ll just… give you the excerpt here (again, from Od’s POV). Because here, the subtext basically stops being subtext.

"Magnus!" Mama jumped to her feet. "You’re drunk!”

“Did you tell him the news?" Uncle Magnus wobbled across the floorboards toward us. "Did you tell him he’s got you further pinned to the walls of this house? A chloroformed butterfly in his collection of treasures.”

“Go lie down." Mama grabbed her brother by his right arm. "Don’t let the children see you like this.”

“Odette, take your sister up to bed,” said Papa, lowering Tru to the floor. “I need to have a little talk with your uncle.”

“You don’t get to talk to me like I’m a child, old man,” said Uncle Magnus, lunging forward, but Mama held him back before he could reach Papa. “You may be older, but you’re nothing like a father to anyone–not to these children, not to any other children–”

“I’ll stop talking to you like you’re a child, Magnus,” said Papa, “when you stop acting like a twenty-one-year-old brat who’s in love with his sister.”

Mama and Uncle Magnus froze at those words, and their faces flushed bright red.

So yeah. That happened. I mean, I’d figured all that subtext couldn’t be just in my head, but you never know. So it was nice to see the author’s confirmation (through Louis) that the subtext up to that point was intentional.

Od ushers Tru upstairs and tells her little sister to cover her ears. Even with her own ears covers, Od remembers hearing the argument going on in the house beneath them. The next morning, though, the house is eerily silent. When Od creeps down the stairs, she finds Magnus sitting in Louis’s armchair. She recalls, “he reigned over the empty room in my father’s chair." (He also sits in Louis’s chair at the heat of the dining table in the next scene. Just in case this moment wasn’t clear enough. We get it, Magnus, you want to take Louis’s place completely.)

Magnus tells her that Louis is gone and that he’s never coming back, and ”for the first time in my life, I hated him.“ (Which is understandable, but makes me really sad. I ship Od/Tru and Magnus/Maria, but Od’s admiration toward Magnus when she was younger was absolutely precious.)

When Maria wakes up, she tells Od that they’re going to move soon so she needs to pack her things. But Od is convinced that Magnus killed her father, so she spends hours digging through their yard searching for Louis’s body, until Magnus comes out and stops his crying niece, telling her that Louis isn’t dead. He just stormed out and Maria to leave for good.

"Od? Did you think I killed him? Is that why you’re digging?”

“You’ve said you wanted to kill him since the day Tru was born….”

…

“Your father’s not what he claims. He’s not a poet, or an artist, or a loving family man. He’s living down in San Diego, filthy rich from an allowance he receives from his parents back in England.”

“No, he’s not!" I dropped the shovel and covered my ears. "You killed him. I know you did.”

“No, I didn’t." Uncle Magnus squatted down and yanked my hands away from my ears. "Stop saying that. You’re ripping my heart to pieces, Od. Look at me.”

I did as he asked, and the old, familiar compassion shone in my uncle’s brown eyes.

“Do you want me to take you to him?” he asked. “Shall I prove to you he’s alive?”

So Magnus volunteers to sneak Od out to see her father (sneaking because Maria wouldn’t want Od to see her father ever again; yet another parallel to Tru slipping aboard the train with Od against their aunt’s wishes, partially because she hopes to see her mother again). Maria sees them leaving and forces Magnus to tell her where they’re going, and she’s distraught; Od describes her as “screaming my uncle’s name, as though someone were chopping her to bits, as though she were laid out on a table, a victim of ‘The Robber Bridegroom’ murders." And that’s where the chapter and the flashback end.

Back in the present in Tru’s POV, Od says they’re headed to Philadelphia, following a premonition of Tru’s. Tru says that she wants to go to their mother instead, but Od claims their mother is ”not proud of her living conditions. I don’t want to embarrass her. And I don’t want to stop for any visits and chitchat. We mustn’t get attached to any one place if we’re going to be productive,“ and then Od tries to change the subject. Once she learns their mother IS in Philadelphia, she tries to dissuade Tru from going to see her. Only more reading will tell if I’m right or not, but I suspect Maria and Magnus might be living together.

A small thing that’s notable about Od and Tru’s travels here: since Tru had to leave her wheelchair behind with their aunt in her rush to board the train, she has to rely on her cane and leaning on Od to walk here. They might have been apart for two years, but their bond snaps into place again immediately; Od still fills her role as Tru’s protector, and Tru still relies on Od instinctively, even though she still doesn’t quite believe her big sister about the supernatural stuff. Also notable, they keep doing the bed-sharing thing on the train. Platonic bed-sharing is my favorite ship trope, it really is.

The next chapter, we’re back to Od’s flashback of her six-year-old self and Uncle Magnus going to see her father. We also learn that when Maria first brought Magnus to California, she found work as Louis’s maid and that was where they met–further showing the imbalance in their relationship.

Finally, they reach Louis’s house, and Magnus takes Od’s hand and tells her, ”Whatever happens, know that you’re loved a great deal.“ The door is answered by a pretty young maid (Magnus comments that she resembles Maria, and asks if she was 16 or 17 like Maria was when Louis hired her). Od finds out that her father has a whole other family here since long ago (the oldest boy is nearly Magnus’s age) and he’d been lying to her and Maria. Louis admits to Od that "this is my real family,” and Od is heartbroken (me too).

Od swears she’ll never speak to Magnus again for showing her all this. (She is just six; that was probably not a good call tbqh.) They stop for dinner at what seems to be a brothel, which… also not a good call, Magnus, but he’s barely an adult himself. One of the women there comments that Od looks so much like Magnus and asks if he’s sure she isn’t his daughter. Magnus says, “She’s definitely my niece, but she’s my girl, and I love her dearly." Which is not actually a denial. She could be his niece AND his daughter, and they do look alike from their descriptions so far.

The next day, Magnus and Od return home, and Maria is understandably furious about what her brother exposed Od to. She tells him that she’ll never forgive him for taking her away, and she doesn’t want him to contact her or the girls again, and Od reflects that the previous night ”that was the last night I’d ever see my uncle, let alone my father, during the long and difficult years of my childhood.“

Now that we’ve learned all of this from Od’s flashbacks, it paints the story she told Tru in the prologue in an even sweeter light. Od knows this horrible truth about her father and how her family divided, but when Tru asks about it, she paints it in a more magical light so as to protect Tru from the true (heh) nature of the events. She doesn’t want her little sister to be shattered by the realization the same way Od was, and as an older sister with about the same age difference between me and my sibling as Od and Tru, that’s both the realest and the sweetest thing.

It does lead me to wonder if that’s the only supernatural thing she’s told Tru that was… altered a bit, but I’ll have to leave that for the next installment, because this is already incredibly lengthy. I hope to have the next one written out far sooner than it took me this time, though! These relationships are so compelling, so I might keep reading more tonight. :)

[x]

I’m so glad to hear that Maria and Magnus really is canon-ish now. There can be no doubt that all of the subtext was intentional.

Thanks for this detailed update! I have the next one in my inbox now so I’ll move right on to it.

#asks #anonymous #r: brosis #canon #tw: incest #r: sisters #nc #od and tru #magnus and maria #odd and true #submission #nr #commentary #noiv

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seriouslyhooked · 8 years ago

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Wedded Bliss and Asterisks (A Modern CS AU) Part 3/?

Emma Swan is an enemy of love who just happens to be an up and coming wedding dress designer. She’s convinced that a fairytale kind of romance is nowhere in her future but when she meets Killian Jones, whose magazine is covering the opening of her new boutique, things change. Suddenly Emma finds herself drawing up new plans for her life, ones that seem to all be leading towards her own form of wedded bliss. Rated M.

Part One Here, Part Two Here. Also on FF Here.

A/N: Alright all, good news on two fronts. Number one we have both POVs this week. I know, crazy! But more than that this is the chapter where circumstances align and Emma and Killian finally introduce themselves so take that, slow-burn! Just kidding the slow-burn is still real, nevertheless, expect cute awkwardness and my usual overwhelming fluff. Thank you all for reading and let me know what you think!

While Emma would never wish for less success in her work, she had to admit after a few days of off-hours that she was beginning to feel the strain of launching a new business. The past few days had been so busy that she’d not only had to stay late every evening, but go in early as well. It was exhausting for obvious reasons, but Emma knew she might have been able to bear the work load better if she didn’t have a sense of missing out.

Three days away from her normal routine meant three days of not seeing the man on the train, and as sad as it was to admit, that lack of his presence actually affected her mood. Emma would never confess that out loud (because it was embarrassing to say the least), but her largest grievance wasn’t the constant things needing her attention or the inability to walk away from the store at a decent hour, it was that she was being denied her chance to see him.

Today, however, Emma successfully managed to fend off early meetings and she was riding her usual train. All morning she’d been bubbling with excitement despite how foolish that was, but it couldn’t be helped. It felt like this big wonderful thing and Emma decided to let herself have this. If hot guy was going to relieve some of the tension she’d found at work, so be it. Everyone had their vices, right?

There was only one problem: the train this morning was absolutely packed with very little standing room. Worst of all, Emma was surrounded by abnormally tall people. This made it impossible to see much of anything and made the already existent stuffiness of the car that much worse. Emma barely breathed the entire length of her trip (thanks to the stale odor of must, cologne, and cigarette smoke that hung about), but her real moment of ‘are you freaking kidding me right now?’ came when her stop for work finally arrived and the callous businessman beside her knocked her portfolio to the ground, sending her sketches flying everywhere.

Emma cursed as she hustled to grab everything, barely evading the other entering and exiting passengers, but she grabbed all her sketches just in time to get out before the doors closed. As she did she caught sight of someone out of the corner of her eye. Her heart picked up in that moment, but she wasn’t entirely certain it was him, and before she could see one way or the other the doors closed and the train moved on leaving a flustered and now disappointed Emma staring after it.

But unfortunately New York waited for no one, and Emma was forced thanks to the less than stellar ambiance that clung to the subway platform and the other people who were now staring at her to ascend the steps and head to work. She wove through the bustling crowds of people a little slower than usual, feeling that lingering bit of regret for having missed him, but eventually Emma resolved to get over it. She had too much going for her and too much on the line to be in this kind of funk. Besides, there was always tonight, at least if she could use this emotion for good and be productive enough to leave on time.

“There you are, and at such a more reasonable hour. How did it feel not to wake up before the sun today?” Ruby’s words were pitched Emma’s way before the door had even closed behind her but Emma couldn’t fend off her smile.

“Let’s just say I can enjoy my coffee the old fashioned way instead of injecting it like I have all week.”

Ruby grinned and waved Emma with her towards Elsa’s bakery citing the need for a team meeting, but Emma knew ‘team meeting’ was likely code for gossip and breakfast. Not that Emma minded. Both sounded like pretty good remedies to the lackluster start of her morning, and as soon as she caught sight of Elsa’s famous chocolate chip muffins Emma knew at the very least she’d get a necessary chocolate fix.

“Okay, so as you all know we have had a fantastic first week -,” Ruby’s words were quickly interrupted by Mary Margaret.

“But we’re not jinxing anything!” Ruby smirked and clarified.

“Right. For the superstitious ones among us we are happy for this turn of events but still working hard. There’s a lot to do, but I think I’ve found a way to keep the momentum going for a bit.”

“Oh let me guess! Skywriting?” Emma asked as Elsa giggled from behind the bakery counter and posed a ridiculous idea of her own.

“A blimp?” Ruby shook her head and countered with her own lunacy.

“No, I actually found a dozen people to get the store logo tattooed on their chests and then do an interpretive dance through Times Square.” A beat past before all four friends laughed at the excessive silliness. This was typical for them; trying to out-weird the other with crazy situations that would never come to pass.

“But on the off chance those dancers fall through…” Mary Margaret prompted and Ruby regained her composure.

“In that marginal slice of possibility, my friend Belle who works at Citizen NY reached out. She’s thinking of doing a feature piece on us.”

“Citizen NY?” Emma asked, more excited than she probably should be and all her friends looked her way.

“Yeah. Is that a problem?” Ruby asked.

Emma schooled her features even though she was actually really excited. Who knew? Maybe her stranger on the train would see the article and recognize her. The idea was intriguing and too exciting given the situation. She should not be subjecting herself to interviews for the sake of a man she’d never even spoken to. No, any decisions like this needed to be about the business. Hot guy couldn’t factor in.

“No problem. I just read it.”

“You – Emma Swan – read a non-fashion oriented magazine?” Ruby posed the question as if this were the single most unbelievable thing she had ever heard, but Emma merely rolled her eyes making Ruby laugh. “Anyway, yes, Belle works for them and I guess some stories didn’t pan out last minute so they’re hoping to get us in for the issue on stands the week after next.”

“Wow, that quickly?” Mary Margaret asked and Ruby nodded as Elsa jumped in with her thoughts.

“Sounds great! Any idea what kind of cake she likes? We probably want to butter up the reporters right? I made the most to die for hazelnut cream at home last night when I couldn’t sleep. I mean seriously no one could turn it down. Unless she’s allergic. Is she allergic?” Ruby and Elsa had some animated back and forth about menu planning as Emma let her more cynical tendencies rise to the surface.

“So what is she going to write about? I mean what’s the angle, other than the boutique?”

Emma knew there had to be an angle. There was no way Citizen NY was going to just come here and do a fluff piece. Everything that they wrote and published told a story, and as much as Emma loved the shop and was proud of what they were doing, outlining the basics of their vision wasn’t as captivating as the other pieces she’d read in that magazine. There needed to be something more enticing and more applicable to more people.

“We are.”

“Us?” Emma, Elsa, and Mary Margaret all parroted back.

“Yup. Picture this -,” Ruby used her hands as if she was framing the shot of a movie and let her dramatic flair take over. “We pan in on Columbia University freshman orientation. Four girls from four corners of the country, all scared and feigning otherwise, meet on the first day of move-in and realize they have three soul-sisters they never even knew about.”

Everyone laughed at that and Emma waved away the continued narrative. They all knew the story of how they’d found each other after all. It had been one of the best days of her life. She arrived at school on a scholarship she’d worked her ass off for completely ready for four more years of people not actually caring about her one way or another. Instead she found lifelong friends on the very first day and now ten years later they were all of them closer than ever. This was truly Emma’s family and she knew all of her friends felt the same way.

“So how intimate are we talking here?” Elsa asked and Emma knew that she had reasons to be somewhat wary in spite of her earlier enthusiasm.

Elsa had a high profile family, all of whom were fantastically lovely and supportive (despite the fact that Elsa, who was essentially an heiress) decided to bake cakes for a living. Even with their support, however, Elsa never wanted to reflect badly and if this was the kind of piece that would get too personal Elsa would never feel comfortable and neither would Emma though for very different reasons. Emma didn’t have a family home (okay, more like palace) in Newport to visit on holidays. She wanted nothing to do with any of the foster families she’d ever been a part of or even any of the group homes, but she also had no desire to dredge up past pains for the sake of a story.

“Belle’s cool guys. She won’t push. We have a lot of control here, control we wouldn’t have in another situation.”

Ruby looked to Emma and silently promised that this would be okay, and there was no one Emma trusted more to give her the truth than Ruby and no one who would fight harder to keep their good names protected than her friend. Emma nodded her agreement, knowing the others would follow as soon as she did. When they were all on the same page Ruby clapped excitedly and told them that interviews would happen early next week before getting called away on some store business. Mary Margaret followed close behind, but Emma lingered, wanting to savor the last of her coffee and her final five minutes of freedom before her day got hectic.

“So…?” Emma glanced up at an expectant Elsa and furrowed her brow.

“So what?”

“Did you see him this morning?” Emma willed herself not to blush and since Elsa’s smile didn’t get any wider she had to believe she was successful.

“No I didn’t.” It was impossible to miss the remorse in her voice and Elsa frowned, her hand finding her hip and a look that said she was trying to solve this problem appearing on her face.

“Well I’m sure he was just busy. There’s always tonight right?”

Emma sighed. Was there always tonight, though? Or was she coasting through her life assuming this guy would always be there? He wasn’t a sure thing, and the thought that he wasn’t permanent left this subtle ache in Emma’s chest even if it was totally mental. But for right now, Emma needed to vent her bit of regret without facing any judgment and Elsa always knew exactly how to handle those moments.

“I should have invited him to Graham’s.” Elsa looked surprised and Emma continued on. “Ruby suggested it on Monday night. She was joking, but all week I’ve been wishing that I did or that I at least said something.”

“So why haven’t you?” Emma waved her hand around in an anxious gesture.

“I don’t know, I guess I’m just…” She trailed off, hating how weak it made her sound to admit that she was terrified of putting herself out there.

“Scared?” Emma nodded.

“What if I’ve built this all up in my head, Els? What if to him I’m just some crazy woman riding the same train as him who let her imagination run away with her?”

Elsa considered that for a moment and Emma appreciated the genuine thought Elsa put into this little conference. There was no instinctive reaction. If she asked Mary Margaret, her friend would cite the need for hope and belief in love. It was a reflex for their pixie-haired friend, just like how Ruby’s reflex was to be assertive and go for it all the time. Emma didn’t work that way though. Having walls around herself purposely installed to keep people away made the idea of putting herself out there so much worse. She’d been rejected her whole childhood. The last thing she wanted was to face that again. But she couldn’t stop the little voice in her head saying she was wrong to keep away. This guy was important – this guy mattered.

“You know what I think? I think you’re never going to know unless you try, and I think life only waits so long for us to make our move. If you let fear guide you, if you hide away because the risk is too great, you could miss out on everything.”

“You’re right. Besides, it’s New York and if he ends up being terrible I never have to see him again.” Elsa laughed and agreed. Sure, Emma would have to change her train habits, but that was so doable and the past few days were the proof.

“He won’t be terrible, though.” Emma tilted her head curiously.

“How do you know that?” Elsa shrugged.

“Because I trust your gut and your gut has been talking up a storm about this guy.”

That comment helped more than Emma could say because she too had long believed in the power of her instincts. She thanked Elsa and managed to get out of there with only three muffins in hand (which when it came to Elsa and her constant need to feed people, was a rousing success). As she moved back to her showroom and into her office though, Emma realized that something was missing. Her sketch – the one of the fairytale dress. It was gone.

“Ah, crap!” Tiana looked up at Emma with concern. “Sorry I just think I lost one of my sketches on the train. You know the one I made our first day?”

“The one that would bring the coldest heart to tears?” Tiana asked and Emma gave a half smile and then nodded, prompting a sigh from Tiana. “Was it a douchebag banker or an angsty teen?”

Emma’s attempt at a smile grew to an all out grin. She loved that despite the unfortunate nature of the situation, Tiana knew the struggles of train commutes well enough to guess what had happened. She also appreciated how her friend was always able to rein things back in when other people might consider the situation a crisis.

“Banker. Definitely banker.” Tiana sighed and linked their arms.

“Well boss there’s only one thing to do.”

“Cry?” Emma offered sarcastically.

“Nope. Keep on hustling until you make another dress just as magical.” Emma laughed, knowing it would never be that easy but that Tiana was right. There were so many more things on their plate left to do. She didn’t have time to be sad, just keep moving and hoping that somehow that dress would come back to her in some form or other.

…………….

E. Swan.

Killian traced the same signature scrawled in the corner of her sketch for what was likely the hundredth time today. It was all of five letters written in script that spoke to the same artistry of the dress above it, but these ones in particular had yet to leave his mind in the span of his whole day. Hours past and it felt like every minute was filled with musings on what the E could stand for, or if a woman as graceful and beautiful as her could truly bear a last name as fitting and as perfect.

This was of course unfortunate from a strictly professional standpoint. There were a million things to do, deadlines to be met for next week’s issue to go to print, but more and more the woman on the train moved back to the forefront of his mind. Killian should have been focused on the hiring process for his necessary new writers or the upcoming party to celebrate the fifth anniversary of the magazine in a month, but just as he would make headway in any area thoughts of her returned and he found himself opening his drawer to pull out the sketch once more.

This morning had been rough, the commute was less than optimal, and it wasn’t until the very last second when his stranger was about to move off the car that he caught a glimpse of her. It was a bittersweet situation, for one second she’d been looking lovely if a little disappointed as she glanced around the train, and the next she was jostled by a careless passerby, sending her sketches into disarray. She gathered them all quickly, too soon for him to make his way across the car to help as he’d attempted to do, but as she slipped out he noticed one last drawing left behind.

Before any less-enthusiastically invested riders could trample or pick up the sketch for themselves, Killian retrieved it, finding himself amazed by the sheer volume of talent that jumped off the page. The lines were delicate but decided and Killian wasn’t exceptionally well versed in fashion, but he knew the way these sketches looked was out of the ordinary. It wasn’t dramatized like a bit of animation, but detailed. The figure and the dress itself were more true-to-life and it spoke not only to an amazing mind for dress creation, but for art as well.

So she’s beautiful and brilliant, Killian had thought to himself on first inspection and the sentiment remained all through the day anytime he let himself indulge in looking at her work.

Clearly the lady was entirely out of his league, but this circumstance of fate made Killian feel like the stars were aligning. Finally he had his in, a way to interact with her without seeming like an insane person, and he’d been anxiously awaiting the moment when the work day ended and he could rush back to the train and see her. It wouldn’t be long now but Killian was a mess to say the least. He was a bundle of nerves parading as a functioning human being, but Killian couldn’t recall ever feeling more alive than he did with this newfound hope.

After their last encounter Killian had been ready to make his move and introduce himself. Thanks to the insistence of that couple on the train and the continued outcry from his heart, he was truly determined to push past his reservations and go for it. But then she’d been missing. Three days past and Killian didn’t catch a glimpse of her. It felt like the cruelest trick of fate. Finally he was man enough to say something but the chance had slipped away. Never again. The Universe had made itself clear enough to him – there were only so many moments that could possibly be seized and he was claiming one and claiming it soon.

“Oi, Boss Man!” Killian glanced up to his doorway and found Will leaning against the door jam with his arms crossed, an amused look on his face.

“What do you want, Scarlet?” Will’s grin widened as he sauntered into the room, coming in to take a seat.

“Well aren’t you just a ray of bloody sunshine?” Killian mumbled something about his friend being a smug bastard as Will chuckled. “I’ve just come to see if you’re all right.”

“I’m fine,” Killian replied too quickly. He almost groaned aloud at the mistake. His lack of cool was going to elongate this conversation, which was the last thing he needed.

“Really? Because you’ve been – and remember as your best mate I can say this to you – a bit of a downer all week. Then this morning you’re up in the clouds. Is it a plane? A blimp? No, it’s Killian Jones, walking into interns and forgetting basic rules of shipping things to print!”

“I didn’t run into any…”

The words died on his lips as Killian recalled that he actually had. When he was walking in this morning elated from finding the picture from his mystery woman, he’d nearly trampled one of the young lads here through school. He apologized of course but as a man who prided himself on always being aware and alert, it was a dead giveaway that something was up. If that weren’t bad enough he’d also gotten mixed up on the most basic of scheduling items for the printers and Will and Tink had born witness to it. Killian’s jaw ticked as he tried to brainstorm a way to get himself out of this situation but nothing came to him.

“So are you going to tell me what’s happening or am I going to be left to assume? You know I love a good story. Here let’s think of one right now -,”

“All right, all right. Mercy.” Killian looked up to the doorway confirming that the door was closed and then looked back to Will.

“I met someone.” Well technically that wasn’t true. He’d seen someone rather a lot and tonight he was going to meet her, or at least he hoped.

“One of Liam’s girls?” Killian immediately glanced up at his friend who seemed truly curious.

“No! And how did you know about that?” Will shrugged. “Liam told you. Of course he did. He’s bloody insane.”

“He’s uh… involved.”

Killian looked at Will and the two of them both chuckled after a moment at the understatement. Since they were boys Liam had been asserting his role as elder brother firmly, and when they lost their mother too soon that inclination only grew. He moved from brother almost to father in many ways, and that meant meddling, an awful lot of meddling.

“Well no. Despite Liam’s original wishes I’ve no need for matchmaking.”

“Because you’ve met someone,” Will countered easily.

“Aye.” Will considered for a second in silence and then understanding seemed to dawn on him.

“Is this why you’ve been riding the bloody train all the time? For a woman?!” Killian kept his face as neutral as he could though his instinct was to wince.

“I told you it’s about -,”

“Your carbon footprint. Yeah, yeah I heard you. I just didn’t believe you, mate. But a woman… well that makes so much more sense, doesn’t it?”

“You would know.” Instead of trying to deny Will sighed.

“That I would, mate.” Killian felt sorry for his friend in that moment. There was a level of defeat in his usually happy appearance that made Killian uneasy. He wished he had a way to fix this for Will.

“You realize we don’t have a rule against fraternizing, right? Technically you could see Belle and there wouldn’t be any repercussions.” Will barked out a pained laugh.

“Right, until the moment I ask and she’s mortified because I’m her boss and she’s not interested.”

“What makes you think she’s not interested?” Killian couldn’t claim that Belle was helplessly and irrevocably in love with Will, but there was certainly something there, a bond of some sort that he wouldn’t be surprised if it turned out to be more than mere friendship.

“What makes you think she is?”

“Tink would know. Tink knows everything. All I have to do is -,” Killian was raising his hand to press the intercom button as Will jumped from his chair.

“No!” Killian grinned. “I mean not now. There’s a lot going on. Too much to be starting something.”

Killian might have agreed with Will on that before. He’d often felt the same way, but recently it had been made clear to him that waiting wasn’t the answer. Sometimes a man just had to bite the bullet and go for it, even if the prospect of rejection was a bloody nightmare.

“We only have so many tomorrows, Will. Remember that.” Will stood up and nodded, clearly ready to take his leave.

“Thanks for that, mate. You’re a regular fortune cookie. Oh and you better hurry or you’ll miss the girl.”

Killian looked up and realized Will was right. He was later than expected thanks to this little visit and he had to get a move on. He didn’t delay anymore, wishing the people he saw on his way out a goodnight, but not tarrying any longer to discuss weekend plans or last minute details for the printers. Instead he made record time to the station and hopped on the train, his hands shaking from the adrenaline.

This is it. This is the moment. Killian thought to himself as her stop arrived but when she boarded the train he was struck a little speechless. He’d been denied the chance to truly see her in all her glory this morning, congested as the commute had been, but now he was left mesmerized, caught in the rapture of his own thoughts when he could be actually talking to her. When he realized that, Killian’s feet took a step closer and then another until he was just beside her.

“Excuse me, miss?”

The woman jumped at his words and her hand immediately flew to her chest. He could see the strain in her neck that came from being surprised, her heart rate jumping as he’d made himself known. Killian hated to think he scared her, but when her eyes caught his and he was able to see the real intricacy in those jade-colored pools those thoughts flew from his mind. All that was left was this feeling like he’d seen light for the first time in forever.

“Oh sorry. You just – I mean – uh, hi.”

The stammering from anyone else might have caused Killian to wonder what was wrong, but he could see the mirrored emotions playing across her face that he felt in his chest. Perhaps it was merely wishful thinking, but Killian swore he saw the faintest trance of a blush on her cheeks and a look like she was just as frazzled with sensation as he was. When he realized he’d been staring at her full lips and the way she got those words out for a beat too long, Killian cleared his throat and glanced back up at her eyes once more. Their impact hadn’t lessened, and it felt like a miracle he was able to get any words out at all.

“I believe you dropped this earlier.”

Killian handed her the drawing but it took her a second to tear her gaze away from him. In that moment he knew for a fact that this connection wasn’t simply one sided and his chest filled with pride. This woman saw something in him, something attractive, something worthwhile. She was guarded, a bit cool on the surface when he’d seen her from afar, but he could feel the tension between them. It promised something too delicious to describe and he was remiss when her eyes looked away until he caught on to how happy his returning the sketch would make her. Never in his life had something felt as powerful as her smile. He was consumed by it and wanted nothing more than to see her always just as joyous.

“You found it! Oh my god you are my hero, you don’t even know.”

Her fingers grazed against his as she took the picture and it was lightening to the touch. But as the car swayed a little harsher than normal around a bend, she moved forward, her hand resting on his arm to steady herself and he was done for. She blushed again and after a moment of holding onto him she apologized. Why she would ever do that, though, he couldn’t be sure. Unless of course he wasn’t as transparent as he felt and she couldn’t tell that this was the highlight of… well very possibly his entire life.

Killian knew without a doubt that the world lacked words to describe this feeling. He knew it was merely a turn of phrase, her calling him her hero, but the look of sheer relief and the happy smile on her face that lingered even after her slight embarrassment about falling into him sealed something inside of Killian. He’d long known that she was different, that there was something out of the ordinary about this beautiful stranger, but it went so far past everything he’d thought it could ever be. He was lost already, and they’d hardly said a word.

“Forgive me, love. A real hero wouldn’t solicit a favor after a good deed but I was hoping you might repay me with your name.”

The woman blinked up at him, clearly a little dazed until a humorous smirk played at her full lips. He’d never felt the urge to kiss somebody so profoundly in his life, but she was temptation in its most elevated form. Still he held back, needing her reply more than the chance to steal the press of her lips on his. No, when a kiss came, Killian decided, she would be the one to instigate it. Then, and only then, would he let his heart move as it pleased.

“Anyone ever tell you that you might be just a touch too charming?” Killian laughed at that and noticed the way her features softened when he did. She extended her hand as a means of greeting. “I’m Emma.”

“Emma Swan?” Emma looked surprised and then Killian countered. “I may have glanced at the signature there once or twice.”

“Oh, right.” She smiled again and Killian stood there like a fool, falling into the way it illuminated her whole person. She was already arguably too gorgeous for him to handle, but like this, and with her attentions aimed at him, Emma was a force of nature.

“So are you going to tell me your name or…”

“Oh shit – right, yeah – it’s Killian. Killian Jones.”

“So not Chad?” Killian felt his brow rise at the peculiar question.

“Not to my knowledge, no. I’m relatively certain this has always been my name.” Emma laughed and the sound filled the whole car and his whole world in the process.

“Sorry. That was a weird thing to ask. It’s kind of a long story.”

Killian couldn’t help himself from raising his hand in that moment and tucking back a strand of blonde hair that had fallen from her hair tie. He watched as her eyes widened as he did it, but she never pulled away. Actually Emma inched a bit closer when his hand eventually moved away back to his side. It made retreating that much harder, but he had to be a gentleman. The last thing he wanted was to come on too strong and scare her away.

“I’ve a feeling any story of yours is worth the wait, Emma.”

Her eyes filled with something in that moment, something Killian couldn’t exactly read but there was a force behind it. Whatever Emma was feeling, it was intense, maybe even as strong as the pull that he felt to her right now. Killian wanted nothing more than to ask her what she was thinking or even to lay out all of his thoughts for her, to show her that whatever was on her mind was safe with him, but at that moment he caught the tail end of the automated voice announcing the next station.

“Maybe another time. This is kind of my stop, which means…”

“That I missed mine. Bloody hell!”

Emma laughed again as she stepped out of the train and Killian followed her. He wasn’t actually frustrated though, and he couldn’t regret that he’d messed up his usual commute, not when he’d had this chance to get to know Emma, to get to finally see her and talk to her, and to confirm what he already knew – that she was someone worth knowing and worth letting in.

“Well, thank you again for finding this,” Emma offered as she slipped the sketch inside her portfolio and Killian assumed it was her way of putting distance between them. She was ready to say goodbye even if he never would be.

“My pleasure, Swan.”

Her eyes sparkled at his use of her last name and she smiled before waving and turning away. He watched her go, wondering what a woman as intriguing as Emma might be doing for the weekend, when she turned around and offered him a final question.

“See you Monday?” Killian felt his heart skip at the prospect and the idea that Emma would be looking forward to seeing him again.

“Aye, love. I’ll be here.”

“Good.”

With that Emma turned up the steps and headed out into the world, leaving Killian standing there with a grin on his face he didn’t bother trying to conceal. The truth was he couldn’t pinpoint a happier moment in the whole of his life (even if he hadn’t asked her to dinner as he originally intended), and though it might feel like an eternity between now and Monday he was hopeful, knowing that in just a few days time he’d get the chance at seeing more of Emma and maybe getting to convince her that they might be more than strangers on a train.

That thought alone was enough to fill him with a boundless sort of energy, and Killian decided not to wait for another train but to walk the three blocks back to his apartment. And all the while his world was filled with Emma Swan and the belief that he’d finally found the person he’d been unknowingly searching for for years, a person who made his heart feel whole and the whole world seem new.

Post-Note: So there we have it. The scene has been set, the first words have been spoken, and I am surrounded by feels. It’s becoming clear to me that I needed a new story because this early phase of sketching out where to go from here and reaching all the first milestones is fantastic. I really hope that you guys enjoyed and that you can all bear with me on this slow-burn. Let me know what you think, and as always thanks so much for reading!

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10oclockdot · 8 years ago

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Intermission

(a free response to my favorite tumblr piece in ages: Aphelis's Seven Samurai Interrupted, an exploration of the ontology of the intermission)

2001. "I'm not so sure what he'd think about it," says the astronaut. And then, a vertiginous surprise, like something holding us up just fell away: White noise, The 2.35:1 frame irised down to a peephole, Telephoto, POV, panning: through HAL's eyes as he reads their lips. The moment of consciousness. But then, a more vertiginous surprise: A deeper, more silent void than even outer space: A black screen, outside the narrative. Fade in:

The mind races--- wait, no, wait-- NO! A film floating glacially, reel after reel, suddenly bursting with intrigue only to be shut off, suspended, abandoned, adrift, uncertain... But in the audience, a hundred virtual guess-movies still play.

Early 1990's. When I was a kid, my mom sometimes rented The Great Race or It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World for me and my sister. Two very silly films that came on two VHS's each. I remember there being overtures, exit music, intermissions. I remember pressing fast-forward. In the VHS era, we made our own intermissions.

(The Great Race and It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World were long films. Now I wonder whether my mom chose them to give herself a long intermission from me.)

1996. The first tape of The Right Stuff ended with Glenn saying, "I plan on being the first man to ride the rocket." The second tape began with a montage of test rocket failures. Convenient, since that's the only part I really wanted to watch. Had there been an intermission there, cut for the tape? Wikipedia tells me The Right Stuff had an intermission. I check my blu-ray, but I can't find one. Where had it been? Where has it gone? Was this the erasure of an absence or of a presence?

Wiki tells me that Fantasia had an intermission, too. I don't remember it. I do remember, however, that my parents always fast-forwarded through the dinosaur part and the Bacchus part the rare once or twice we watched it. Drinking was bad, those were false gods, evolution was a lie. Like I said, we made our own intermissions.

2004. In college, I watched Persona for the first time on possibly the worst VHS tape ever made. A 16mm transfer that might as well have been made by pointing a camcorder at the screen, with white on white subtitles. Partway in, the action abruptly stopped and a card appeared on screen reading, “Please wait a moment while we change reels.” I remember it taking about a minute.

2007. In grad school, I TA'd for an introductory film history class. The Birth of a Nation was, of course, pure suffering for all the students in that 150-person room. (Seriously, everybody. If you must teach Griffith in Intro to Film, figure out the learning goal. Continuity editing? The Lonedale Operator. Poetry? The Country Doctor and maybe The Musketeers of Pig Alley. Film as fine art? Intolerance. Lillian Gish's acting? Broken Blossoms. If you want to talk about the racism, show scenes, but don't waste the 3 hours.)

Anyway. I've heard laughs during Keaton and shrieks during Un Chien Andalou and even a hushed gasp at the end of Citizen Kane. But I've never heard as pained or as abject a moan as the one that issued from every mouth in that room when the title card told them:

2009. A road trip to the Wexner Center in Columbus, Ohio, to see Jennifer Reeves's When It Was Blue play on film, from two projectors hitting the same screen. A hallucinatory Brakhagian ocular explosion for over an hour, except for a few minutes in the middle when both projectors were turned off. Black screen, dark theater. Big, lush music played. An intermission? No one left their seats. A pause to change reels? But the experience continued as the music played, and I kept my eyes trained ahead. What was it, then? It was my favorite part.

2012. A last-minute road trip up to Ann Arbor, Michigan to see one of the rehearsal performances of Philip Glass's opera Einstein on the Beach. It's an over-five-hour affair: 4 acts plus 5 "knee plays" designed as bookends and links between the acts. But the Knee Plays are not intermissions. Instead, the audience is invited to create their own intermission wherever they need it. I never left my seat. Neither did any of the other music nerds I went with.

2015. Chicago, for the 70mm Hateful Eight roadshow. The theater was packed with drunk, agitated people. The overture didn't shut them up. The intermission didn't calm them down. I was willing to believe that the film was building to something; but the second half proved me wrong. Over three hours of meaningless cruelty, pointless bloviation, gratuitous bloodshed. Like the film stock itself, was the intermission simply a compensatory gesture? The act of a filmmaker trying to make a bad project seem important? My friends and I talked about it for hours. We couldn't save it.

(Then again, maybe The Hateful Eight just came out a year too early. After the 2016 election, a meditation on hate and division, especially a grotesque, unredeeming one, feels timely.)

My parents voted for Trump. They'd always been Evangelical Christians (Cruz was their candidate) and they raised me as one. I don't know whether I resent their vote more for its idiocy, its bigotry, or for its absolute nullification of their values. I left the church for good around 2010. My mom still believes I'll come back.

My dad and I built model rockets together when I was a kid, but we gave it up when I went to college. We said goodbye to the hobby and figured it was all over. But it turns out it was just a break; a couple years ago we got back into it. I think that return gives my mom hope that one day I'll "find my way back" to the church. The Evangelical allegiance to Trump convinces me again that there's nothing to come back to.

2000. dc Talk, the biggest Christian band of the 90s, announced their indefinite hiatus with a greatest hits album called "Intermission." As the years went by, the intermission stretching ever longer, I sometimes pondered whether that name was a put-on. The Eagles in reverse: They didn't take a vacation, they broke up. Now I learn that dc Talk is getting back together in 2017 to play a single Caribbean cruise. Looks like there was nothing to come back to.

2007. I watched the 1965 film The Bedford Incident, which ends with the accidental launch of a nuclear missile, then white noise.

I was so furious at this ending that for years I fantasized about teaching a screenwriting class in which I would assign the students to replace "The End" with "Intermission" and write treatments for the "second half" of the movie. Where intermissions do not exist, it becomes necessary to invent them.

Because what is an intermission? It's a signpost on a journey. You're halfway there. It's a reminder of artifice: that the story was designed. Fear not, the artist is in control, and the artist will lead you back out. It's terror (because we do not yet know) but also hope (because someone does).

Mittere: to let go. Inter: between. Intermission: to let go of something, but only for a time; that is, "between" holding it and picking it back up again.

The intermission is eschatological. It proclaims, this is NOT the end. This is just a break. For two millennia, Christianity has been in intermission, awaiting the Second Coming. The second act. The intermission proclaims that an absence is really a presence. That a designer left a gap here for a purpose. That it's not just meaningless silence. "I am going there to prepare a place for you."

Where intermissions do not exist, it becomes necessary to invent them.

#intermission

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