#the most ridiculous most wanted list i've ever made

[starcurtain]

Teyvat's "Most Down Bad" Award Goes to Alhaitham for a Second Year Running

Seeing everyone making fun of Alhaitham for his "stalkerish" tendencies in this event is funny, because I feel like a lot of people missed that "Be literally everywhere Kaveh is" has been Alhaitham's MO from the day Kaveh appeared in the game.

From only grabbing his house keys after Kaveh returned from the desert (he couldn't have had both sets of keys at the end of the Archon Quest unless he went home and got Kaveh's copy) to ditching conversations to get back to his house only after Kaveh came home, to showing up without any warning or explanation in Kaveh's hangout with some ridiculous excuse about hearing his voice through noise-cancelling headphones... Refusing to offer any help in the Temple of Silence story quest other than staying in the library with Kaveh...

Since when does Alhaitham willingly cover anyone else's duties?

But this trend of "Be everywhere Kaveh is" didn't start when they were adults. It was already in place when they were still Akademiya students--and it's a trend that didn't end even when they had their fight.

Even when they weren't speaking, Alhaitham dogged Kaveh's every step through published responses to Kaveh's research articles in academic journals. He insisted on keeping a line of communication between himself and Kaveh open, even if the only way to do that was through very public ideological clashes. Pulling Kaveh's pigtails to get his attention lolol. It's implied that, for at least the few years between their fight and Kaveh moving in, this was the only communication between them--Alhaitham's refusal to allow their connection to entirely fade away. (And the fact that this is revealed in Kaveh's character stories--through his precious journal that records the moments of his life that had the most impact on him--shows just how deeply he values the fact that Alhaitham didn't give up.)

Another relevant side note: Alhaitham never asked Kaveh to give up his half of their house. Knowing half of it belonged to Kaveh, knowing that Kaveh may one day want to reclaim his part of it, knowing that it was listed as theirs, Alhaitham moved into the house and made zero effort to change its ownership. He was completely fine with living in "his and Kaveh's house." The stories suggest it was only months later (or even longer) that Kaveh even noticed he had the house, and he transferred away ownership of his portion without Alhaitham ever asking him (or even seemingly wanting him) to do so.

Please, let that sink in. Alhaitham actively left his grandmother's (presumably comfortable) house to move into "his and Kaveh's house," with no apparent explanation for why, and after doing so, he made no attempt to change that "his and Kaveh's" label. He moved into the house with no promise that Kaveh wouldn't show up on the doorstep the very next day and move in too. It almost feels like another deliberate provocation--I've moved into our house, are you going to come stop me? LBR, if Alhaitham had had his way, Kaveh would have been living there with him from Day 1...

There's also the fact that Kaveh literally can't write on a single message board anywhere in the entire nation of Sumeru without Alhaitham hunting his messages down and responding to them (which absolutely no one else does, by the way).

"NUH-UH!" "UH-HUH." "NUH-UH!"

Alhaitham's own character stories tell us explicitly that one of Alhaitham's defining character traits is "He is never where you need him to be," yet somehow...

Shot, and chaser:

Any time Kaveh is in the slightest bit of need or danger or just wants Alhaitham near, Alhaitham is "coincidentally" exactly where Kaveh needs him to be, whenever Kaveh needs him to be there.

Alhaitham didn't just "happen" to run into Kaveh in Port Ormos, an entirely different city from where he was supposed to be working. He didn't just "happen" to read the same terrible book as Kaveh when we know he otherwise would not waste a moment of his time on poorly-written literature...

He didn't just "happen" to appear when Kaveh was upset and needed a distraction in the House of Daena during Kaveh's hangout. He didn't just "happen" to be sitting around waiting when Kaveh needed answers after the Archon Quest. He didn't just "happen" to find Kaveh's academic publications and every single message board posting and respond to them at length and in public.

The only person for whom Alhaitham just "happens" to be available is Kaveh, over and over and over again--because he is very deliberately making himself a constant presence in Kaveh's life.

Which is exactly what Kaveh's mother told Kaveh he needed.

(Like, out of all things, I think people really underestimate the devs deliberately paralleling the romantic relationship between Kaveh's mother and father with Kaveh and Alhaitham's relationship. If you want to point to one thing that says "These two characters are intentionally queer-coded," it doesn't get any more obvious than this.)

Alhaitham, are you not embarrassed to be this transparent??? 🫣

[dramaticals]

a favour

pairing: theodore nott x reader

summary: you want to get your mind off of your break-up and theodore knows just what to do. literally just smut. characters are assumed to be 19+. mdni.

author's note: based on a thread i wrote in the rpc, but i excluded any wordings from my writing partner for obvious reasons

You didn't know who else to ask.

You've tried just about every heartbreak remedy out there—guzzling glasses of alcohol being the most recent and detrimental. The only remedy you hadn't tried required another person, and asking for it seemed to be much harder and more embarrassing than you thought.

In theory, you should be doing what any normal person would do when they want to get over an ex: find some stranger at a bar and have at it. But you're convinced the looming grey cloud that seemed to follow you around was enough to deter any stranger, regardless of whether sex was involved.

Which is why you were standing in front of Theodore Nott's place with a ridiculous and crude request on the tip of your tongue.

You and Theodore Nott weren't exactly friends. Friends of friends, more like. You two ran in the same circles, but there had never really been an opportunity or a reason to hang out one-on-one.

Even so, you knew the type of guy he was. Theo was as charming as he was alluring. He had that aura around him that just screamed lothario. And he was—at least, that's what you heard. Your mutual friends often teased him about his latest conquests, to which he'd respond with a smirk and a dismissive, "If you want me to fuck you next, all you have to do is ask."

"Y/N," Theo says. He leans against the doorframe of his apartment coolly, brows raising in question at your visit and curious eyes giving you a once-over. The way his arctic green eyes lingered on your body made you flush.

"Hey," You say breathlessly, fingernails digging into the palm of your hand out of pure nervousness. You didn't think it would be so hard to come out and just say it. "Can I ask you for a favour?"

"A favour," Theo repeats, his lips twitching into his signature smirk. By the way he was looking at you, you swear he knows what you want from him. "Depends. What do you need?"

"Could you help me get over my ex?"

Theodore's brows raise, his eyes flashing in smug amusement. He definitely knew why you were here.

"I can think of a few ways to distract you." He says slowly, eyes trained on yours. There's a teasing tone in his next words as he lists, "Movies, puzzles, bourbon..."

"Actually," you interrupt, your gaze flickering anywhere but his eyes. Your heart's practically beating out of your chest now. His intense gaze was doing a number on you, and you suddenly understood every woman he'd ever slept with. Theo knew exactly how to work a woman in the simplest way possible. "I was thinking of something more effective than that."

"Oh? And what may that be?" Theo asks as if he already didn't know. He just wanted you to say it.

You inhale sharply, your eyes meeting his again. "I want you to fuck me."

Theo lets out a breath, his lips twisting into a mischievous grin. "Gladly."

Theo beckons you inside before shutting the door and turning the lock. He wastes no time closing in the space between you two. Strong hands pull you close as his lips ghost over yours teasingly. You can practically feel his smirk on your lips, and it makes you shiver.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do this." Theo says huskily against your lips.

There's no time to process his words before his lips are on yours. You gasp against his mouth, allowing him the opportunity to slip his tongue in. He steps forward, guiding you backwards until you're pinned against the door. Your hands reach to cup his jawline, kissing Theo back with as much passion as he was giving you.

He lets out a groan against you, and it strikes a fire within you and to your core. God, you needed to hear more of that.

Feverish kisses turn into teasing, nipping kisses down your neck. His rough hands slide down your frame, his leg expertly maneuvering between yours and pinning you in place. You whine at the pressure, throwing your head back in response.

"Fuck, Theo," you breathe, your fingers running through his brown curls.

He lets out a low chuckle against your collarbone, clearly eating up every second of this favour. You were so receptive to his actions that a part of him wanted to drag this whole ordeal out.

His hands tug at your sweatshirt, expertly removing the garment. He hisses when he realizes that was the only barrier he had to deal with. The cool air of his apartment, along with his lips on your chest, made your nipples perk. Your back arches into his mouth.

Theo flicks his tongue against your breast, teeth grazing lightly as he pulls away to say, "So fucking beautiful."

You could just melt into him. The way he was working you was unlike anyone you've ever experienced before. And the way his hands hooked onto the hem of your skirt and knickers, pulling them down swiftly—fuck.

One hand moves to capture both your wrists, lifting them both up and holding them above you firmly. His other hand finds its way to your core, toying with your slick folds before inserting a digit.

You let out a desperate whimper. You want to grip onto something, but his hold on your wrists is solid, and it only makes your hips buck into him.

"Eager, are we?" Theo muses, his lips planting a sweet kiss on yours. He watches you attentively as he slowly inserts another digit. Slow enough to really take notice of your wetness on his fingers. Theo smirks when your breath hitches.

"Theo," you gasp. "Please."

Theo kindly obliges, curling his fingers inside you and flicking repeatedly against the spot that made your knees buckle and your heart soar. His grip on your wrists tightened in part that you could no longer keep yourself standing.

"Oh my god. I need—" you moan, your eyes shutting in pleasure.

"What do you need, darling?" Theo asks smoothly, his fingers continuing their motions inside you. His eyes are dark with lust. He plants a kiss on your jaw.

"You." You manage to get out, squirming against his fingers. You're so close.

Theo was feeling too fucking smug seeing you unravel like this, and so it's another second before he's sliding his fingers out of you and letting go of your wrists. You whine at the loss of contact, your eyes shooting open in confusion.

Theo's discarding his shirt, untying his sweatpants, and shoving off his boxers. You bite your lip at the sight of him. You didn't think he could be any more sexy.

"Like what you see?" Theo quips with a sly smile. His hands move to your hips and then to your thigh, guiding your leg up around him. He guides himself to brush against your core teasingly. You jerk at the contact.

"Theodore," you warn. You don't know how much more foreplay you can take.

With a pompous grin, Theo sinks into you roughly. He grunts in pleasure, reveling in the feeling of your dripping cunt around him.

"Fucking hell, Y/N," Theo groans, setting up a torturous rhythm of thrusts. You feel the pleasure bubbling in your core, your fingernails dragging across his bare back.

Theo buries his face in the crook of your neck, leaving sweet kisses on your skin. The sensation of his soft, tender lips on your neck versus the primal thrusts into you made you want to scream.

Theo senses this, and he relentlessly continues his movements. He's quite close himself, his cock twitching in response to your body. But considering this was a favour to you, he holds himself back. You needed to come first.

And you do.

You release a panting whine just as the building pleasure finally washes over you. You grip onto the locks of his hair on the base of his neck for support, coming undone in his strong arms. Theo moans, feeling you clench around him, before allowing himself to come.

You slump forward into Theo, your forehead resting on his chest. Your hands gripped his shoulders tightly, now more than ever needing the support his strong frame provided.

"That'll definitely do," you say with a weak nod.

You can't see his face, but you can practically see the shit-eating grin on his lips.

[forthegothicheroine]

I've made a post about great lesser-known noirs, but it occurs to me that some of you might not be familiar with the classics, and might want to know where to start. This is a ridiculously short list- I have a million more to talk about- but here are some of the big stars of the genre.

The Maltese Falcon: Sam Spade, a clever but callous private detective, gets wrapped up in intrigue relating to an artifact that is functionally cursed. If he's an unscrupulous character, just wait until you meet everyone else. The whole damn cast is electrifying, lending charm and cruelty in equal measure.

The Big Sleep: Philip Marlowe, a kinder and more poetic detective for Humphrey Bogart to play than Spade, is called upon to deal with a wealthy, dysfunctional family, and it keeps on getting weirder from there. Is the sharp-tongued Vivian Sternwood the femme fatale she seems, or is she just another person trying to find the right thing to do in desperate circumstances? And will she and Marlowe keep their hands off each other until the plot has had its last twist?

Double Indemnity: Rich housewife Phyllis Dietrichson and sleazy insurance agent Walter Neff are, by their own admission, rotten people. It's only natural that they should plot a murder together, and that they should turn on each other the very second things go wrong. Every single domestic murder movie since 1944 has ripped this off.

Kiss Me Deadly: This is nominally an adaptation of a Mike Hammer story. Screenwriter Bezzerides hated Mike Hammer. As depicted here, he is one of the worst people in the world. Depending on the cut of the film you see, he may inadvertently cause the nuclear apocalypse. (For once, the theatrical cut is darker.)

Sweet Smell of Success: Cruel, all-powerful columnist JJ Hunsecker wants his sister's boyfriend out of the way (for reasons that are, um, ambiguous.) To accomplish this, he enlists the biggest weasel in New York, Sidney Falco, and the two completely deserve each other as they spend the rest of the movie trading elaborate insults. Popular on tumblr for its dialogue and chemistry between the leads.

Sunset Boulevard: Broke screenwriter Joe Gillis thinks he can con a has-been into hiring him as a script doctor, and that's the last free decision he ever gets to make. From then on, his life is in the hands of Norma Desmond, silent film starlet turned crazed recluse, terrifying yet intensely pitiable. This is as much gothic horror as noir.

Ace in the Hole: The story of a man trapped in a cave is turning out to be a big hit in the newspaper, and if the publicity will make a reporter's career, then what's the harm in delaying rescue just for a little while? This is as vicious as noir gets, but damn it, you've just got to see what happens next. (Watch Jacob Geller's video Fear of the Depths after this.)

Sorry Wrong Number: Of all the films on this list, this is the one that really scared me. In the days of switchboards, a rich hypocondriac woman is connected to the wrong phone line and overhears a murder being planned. It doesn't take her long to figure out she's the intended victim, and each call she makes or recieves makes the situation darker. But how can she escape her fate if she can't- or won't leave her bed?

The Asphalt Jungle: The heist movie. Maybe the only heist movie ever made. Every line is quotable. Every member of the team is an unforgettable personality. When things go wrong, they go horribly wrong. One minute you're laughing, and the next minute you think you'll never laugh again.

Gun Crazy: Laurie and Bart, two practiced sharpshooters, are perhaps the most perfect match in all of noir- and that's a bad thing. When one half of the duo gets a criminal idea in their head, the other can't say no. When the opportunity to ditch her man like a sap comes up, the femme fatale throws it away to be doomed at his side. He fell in love with her when she first aimed a gun at him. Quentin Tarantino kissed star Peggy Cummins's feet at a showing of the film, and I hope she kicked him in the head.

Laura: Everyone was in love with Laura Hunt, and somebody killed her- or did they? Did they get the right person? Is the cop on the case in love with a dead woman? Was her columnist mentor just her gay best friend, or was there something darker beneath that facade? And what would Laura think of all this? A big inspiration on Twin Peaks.

In a Lonely Place: Bogart isn't at all heroic here, as a screenwriter with a drinking habit and a violent temper. He's obviously a bad idea to date, but just how bad an idea? He's not the type of guy who'd kill a woman, is he? Bogart and Gloria Holden give perhaps their best performances here, and they'll wound your soul.

Touch of Evil: A Mexican cop (played, unfortunately, by Charlton Heston) finds out a nasty secret about the big hero cop Hank Quinlan: he's framed the culprit in most of his cases. Not because he's crooked, but because his intuition tells him they're guilty. Director Orson Welles as Quinlan is frightening, grotesque, and a little bit tragic in what some consider the last classic noir.

The Killers: The first twenty minutes or so are an adaptation of a Hemingway story, where out of town hitmen gun down a man so depressed he won't even bother to run from them. The rest of the film is an investigation into how he got that way. It had something to do with a radiant gangster's girl, and something to do with a few botched crimes. Sometimes a man can die before the bullets even touch him.

The Third Man: Everybody is lying about the whereabouts of an American expatriate named Harry when his friend comes looking. Did they do something to him? Or, more frightening still, is he the one who's been doing things to other people? Orson Welles is a more charming monster than he was in Touch of Evil; the light and shadows on his face cast him as a vampire, while his fingers sticking up through the sewer grate look like something terrifying emerging from the earth.

[bitchfitch]

My mother's bf had a fairly major surgery (he's fine and recovering well DW) and he's going to be housebound for his birthday this year, so I've been enlisted to come up with a fancy birthday meal for the special birthday boy that's primarily fruit and veg, sweeter than savory, and is something he's never had before.

Bc I'm making watermelington. It's beef Wellington, but watermelon. bc my mom only found out recently you can use watermelon as a tuna substitute. And I know that you can substitute most higher quality beef cuts with tuna or salmon.... usually. Anyways the idea fascinates her so I'm hoping to use that for bonus points.

Now he's off his ass on pain killers so I can't like. Ask him if he's ever had something before. so to meet my brief I've decided to just. commit a novel hate crime against the British I guess.

Anyways. I'm writing this because I need to walk myself through this process and think it'll be surreal enough to be worth taking y'all along for.

So, Beef Wellington. In its most basic bitch arrangement is a beef tenderloin wrapped in prosciutto/really thin bacon, with a layer of mushroom and onion mush, that has been further wrapped in mustard slathered puff pastry.

We will be ship of Theseusing this. bc beef Wellington is like. the opposite of what he wants. Which is why it's funny.

Puff pastry-> it's still just puff pastry

this one doesn't have to change (aka I can't be fucked to do pastry prep and I'm just gonna use store bought it's Fine.)

the prosciutto is also just going to be prosciutto.

Thin meat

Beef tenderloin-> watermelon,

Tbh this is a pretty 1 to 1 substitution. I'll bake the slices at like. 250-300 for an hour or so ahead of the rest of prep to dry it out a bit. bc you can't like. Sear watermelon to seal in the water like you can beef. By definition it's a very wet fruit (like me when I fall into the lake). Ill Add salt and chili and lime juice while baking maybe. this is the easy part

The mushroom mush-> salsa done bad style

As the word mush implies, this is meant to be a very soft mix. It adds a lot of nuttiness to the wellington that rounds out all of the salt from the meats. I'm replacing it with white person salsa(the birthday boy can't handle spice). Tomato, lime juice, parsley, avocado, cucumber, feta, and maybe mango so I can have an excuse to have a lil mango treat. I said I wasn't making it spicy. I'm still putting a bit of chili in it. bc it'll be better like that. This is also a ridiculously wet bit of mush, Even the original mushrooms have too much water. I'll figure something out.

Mustard -> jelly

He lives in a big city. those preserve sections are massive. I'll find a weird one. maybe apricot.

Prep:

We're in the mind palace kitchen, I have not attempted any of this. We're just thinking real hard about it and I'll edit as needed on the day and post results.

The watermelon

Preheat oven to eh. 300f? We want low and slow to dry things out without it taking a year. but idk what his oven is like. If it's gentle I'll bump it up another ten-twenty.

Slather some watermelon slices in salt chili powder and lime juice mixture.

bake for 30 min on a wire rack or directly on the oven racks (after cleaning thoroughly) if he doesn't have a wire rack. with a drip try underneath to catch the drippage. check frequently. Have one slice that's for being poked to see if it's approaching being meat. Bake longer if needed.

Salsa bad style

chop everything up and add it to a pan with some oil in it. Tbh I don't think the type of oil you use for cooking matters if you're not like, getting near any smoke points. Most people can't tell the difference unless you made your food bland as hell.

Anyways there's some wildly different moisture contents on the list so there has to be an Order to cook off as much water as possible without getting yucky.

Tomatoes and cucumbers go in together with some salt to get the cucs softening, then the mango chunks and lime juice. Once most of the water is gone the avocado feta and parsley can go in. There is a good amount of water in avocados but they're delicate and don't pan fry well, so we're just going to ignore their water crimes and hope for the best. They just need to be evenly mixed through the rest of the mush.

Putting it together

lay out the puff pastry, cut into sections to wrap each watermelon slice individually with.

Slather in jam

Take the prosciutto and lay it out on half of each section of the pastry,

spoon the salsa onto that

Melon

Another layer of salsa

another layer of thin meat

Fold the pastry over the top and pinch the edges bc watermelon slices are not a rollable shape and I don't want to carve a watermelon into a tube for this because that sounds irritating.

Brush with egg wash and more parsley

Cook in oven following the pastry's preferred temp and time. it's fucking watermelon, you're not getting ecoli from it.

watermelington :)

I'm serving it with baked sweet potatoes and spinach based salad with whatever toppings are left over from making the salsa.

anyways thank you for joing me on this thought experiment. I will post updates once the deed is done. I'm sorry to every British person ever.

[cheriladycl01]

Fast Cars on the Island - Oscar Piastri x LoveIslandContestant! Reader Part 1

Plot: Your an engineer for Mclaren and you were asked as a PR stunt to go onto Love Island. You would keep your job of course but Mclaren wanted some more media traction.

A/N: I know they would never do this, and that's why its fiction!

You'd basically been an intern during your placement year at McLaren as an engineering university student. They then kept you on as an employee to work with them while you completed your final year of university.

That was in 2023, it was now 2025 and you were 23 years old and had worked for McLaren for the last few years.

In recent years PR for the teams was all getting the same. They made the funny and treading tiktoks, they did the 0.5 pics, and they made the memes which never got old. But all the teams were looking for something new... something refreshing. So when the team came forward with the idea for someone to go on Love Island, Zac Brown hated the idea.

He thought it was ridiculous.

It was ridiculous.

But after some thought of how Lando and Oscar, the stellar boys of his team... young and energetic brought like likeability and youth too McLaren that everyone loved. He then realized that this would give someone in McLaren a larger platform to open up too and show the ins and outs of McLaren and it would gain way more viewers from a different group of people.

So once the car for 2025 had been created he went through a long list of all the potential candidates he'd ask to apply. Maybe he could even see if he could sway ITV in anyway.

Obviously he looked at the social media girls and then any of the mechanics that they could let loose for the potential of 10 weeks. But the one that struck him the most was you. Y/N Y/L/N.

You were the perfect candidate, you were an engineer and travelled with McLaren from race to race working on the car's performance and helping the strategists when it came to optimizing car performance with driver ability.

So that's why you were currently sat in the ITV studio doing your little interview for your introduction.

You were a little gutted they told you they wanted you in on this project as you had a massive crush on driver number 81 Oscar Piastri and you knew both him and Lando would be watching you.

The Love Island Intro:

"My love life is non-apparent I think I've had a closer relationship with my car than a man!" you joked halfway through the interview when they'd asked you about your love-life.

"My name is Y/N Y/L/N, I'm 23 years old from London! I work for a Formula 1 Team, McLaren Racing as an Engineer" you smile looking at the camera shuffling on your seat a little bit adjusting you dress.

"The lights a really bright in this studio I think my makeup's running!" you say as a makeup technician comes out fixing your under eye a little.

"I think my last relationship was my first year of University and it lasted for about a year" you answer with a thoughtful look up.

"I think he got fed up with me! At that point i was very career focused and I still am." you answer the prompted 'and why was that' question asked to you.

"I'm not fussy when it comes to looks, but I tend to go for sporty guys that are taller than me and treat me well! My dad always told me, find yourself a man that will treat you how they treat their Vintage Pontaic and I've lived by that ever since!" you admit with a little laugh.

"Where I work in such a fast paced and big industry I'm very much a socialite and people person so i can imagine I'll make friends quickly in the villa" you answer again the question they asked you.

Walking into the Villa:

You step into the Villa, you of course were wearing a Papaya Bikini with a matching coverup in the form of a cardigan but sheer.

You walk through thanking the driver before walking into the villa looking around in awe.

Maybe it wasn't the worst thing spending your entire summer here. The only thing was you were gutted you wouldn't be updated on how your team was doing at any point! This year the villa was in Greece, it had been completely reformed with the pool being more like the one from season 1 where it had the beach sort of style to it.

You round the corner seeing two gorgeous girls sipping on champagne.

"Oh, look its another girl!!! OMG HEY!!!!" the first girl shouts beckoning you over.

"Hey!" you exclaim walking over as quickly as you could in the heels you were wearing.

The first girl pulls you into a hug kissing either one of your cheeks while gripping both your arms, she was pretty tall as well around 5'11, whereas you were around 5'7 in the heels you were sporting.

The next girl hands you a drink before kissing your cheek.

"So girl! What's your name, how old are you?" the first girl asks.

"Y/N! And I'm 23! What's your names?" you ask politely before taking a sip of your champagne.

"I'm Millie, and this is Auriela!" she smiles pointing to the other girl.

Seconds later another female enters the Villa with a shrilly sort of shriek, looking around at the place.

"Omggggggg! Heyy girls whats going on!" she says in a strong Scottish Accent.

Your then introduced to Zavi before you all get chatting about what you like in boys.

Oscar and Lando's Reaction:

"Damn, who knew she looked like that under team gear!" Lando compliments shamelessly checking her out as they slow-mowed her walk out on screen before showing her intro video.

"Yeah, she's pretty" Oscar says quietly while respectfully looking her over.

Oscar had a crush on you from when he was a reserve driver for Alpine and he saw you on work experience in McLaren from the end of the 2022 season and before he joined all the way through till the September of 2023. You then were in the MTC a lot between Uni, so he saw you a lot during the winter break before you were off for your finals.

You rejoined McLaren in May of 2024 for the Monaco GP where you cam with revolutionary upgrades for Zac Brown to oversee.

And you'd been with them ever since, always in Oscar's mind as the pretty engineer who not only made his cars race fast but made his heart race just as fast too.

He watched as she said she liked sporty guys, maybe he had a chance if she didn't fall in love while in there.

"That other girls pretty fit! Mille is that her name?" Lando comments but it goes straight over Oscar's head where he's so honed in on you.

Meeting the Boys:

The presenter had you all stood in the pool, and she explained how she was about to bring the boys out one by one.

"Okay first boy. Please come out and introduce yourself!"

"Hey ladies, all looking beautiful today, my name is Jai I'm 25 and I'm a training Surgeon!" he smiles holding both hands together as he looks at all of you.

"Okay ladies, step forward if you like the look of Jai!" she says and both Millie and Zavi step forward. You don't step forward as you can imagine he's pretty busy as a doctor and your schedules would clash too much.

"Oh woah, you've got too girls that have stepped forward for you Jai, what are your first thought, we feeling good?" she asks and he nods.

"Yeah, I mean they are both gorgeous ladies!"

"Okay lets find out more. Zavi, why did you step forward?" the presenter asks and she smiles.

"We're both doctors, so i think we'd make a pretty good match, we'd have lots to talk about. Yeah and your very handsome!" she says shyly and the presenter nods.

"Awesome and Y/N you didn't step forward, just keeping you options open?" she asks and you shake your head.

"You of course are very attractive and seem like a really funny and kind guy, but I travel a lot for work and I think with you being a doctor our schedules would result in a major clash unfortunately!" you explain, with a guilty look.

He nods in understanding before he goes and stands next to Zavi in her white bathing suit.

"Our first couple, Jai and Zavi!" she says and you all clap as Jai walks next to her placing a quick kiss on her cheek.

"Okay, our second boy everyone say hello to Chris!" she introduces and another man comes walking through the double glass doors.

"Hey, I'm Chris I'm 22 and I'm a Celebrity Hairdresser" he smiles waving shyly before tucking his arms behind his back.

"Okay girls you know what to do!"

This time only Auriela steps forward. You stay in your position along with Millie.

"Okay, so Auriela has stepped forward for you Chris! Aurelia why did you step forward!" she asks and Auriela laughs.

"Holy hell have you seen him? Hi I'm Aurelia" she smiles playfully at him, he looks down a small blush on his cheeks.

"Millie, you didn't step forward this time. Any reason?" she asks.

"Little disheartened after Jai, but I'm sure my times coming. Just not with Chris, sorry my ex is a hairdresser!" she laughs off her reasoning before he ends up choosing Aurelia.

"Our second couple Chris and Aurelia!"

"Okay, Boy 3 please make yourself known!" she exclaims and another very handsome man comes strolling out. He immediately sends a wink your guys' way and pulls the presenter in to kiss her cheek in a friendly manner.

"Hi, my names Daniel, I'm 25 and I'm a footballer" he smiles crossing his arms over his broad chest.

"Okay, ladies please step forward if you like the look of Daniel" the presenter smiles. You, Millie and Aurelia all step forward.

"Sorry" Aureila says turning round to look at Chris.

"Woah, that's the most we've had step forward! And this is in fact that first time we've had Y/N step forward" the presenter says and he looks between you and Millie trying to determine who it was.

"The one in Orange!" she exclaims and he looks at you, small smirk on his face.

"Hello beautiful" he compliments and you smile at him.

Eventually after she asks Millie who pleads her case heavily, he goes with her. You step back a little sadly and he looks over to you in apology but you just nod with a smile understanding his choice.

"Okay our next couple Millie and Daniel!" she says and you all clap happily.

"Okay boy number 4 please step out and make yourself known" the presenter asks again.

"Hiya, all looking really beautiful ladies. I'm Aaron I'm 26 and I'm a freelance photographer" he introduces before making a little side joke.

You, and Zavi step forward.

"So you've got Y/N who only stepped forward for one other boy stepping forward for you in Orange and isn't currently coupled up. Then you've got Zavi's who currently with Jai" she explains and he nods.

"But of course you can choose any girl even if she's not coupled up! Y/N why did you step forward?" she asks looking at you.

"You are very handsome obviously, has that sky book guy vibe about him. But I think your photography career would go wild if you came travelling with me for my job!" you smile looking at him.

She asks Zavi why she changed her mind from Jai giving a generic answer about keeping her options open before she questions Millie and why she didn't step forward.

"Aaron, please go stand next to the girl you'd like to couple up with" the presenter says and he walks standing next to you. He places a kiss on your cheek.

"You look stunning by the way" he smiles looking down at you making you blush and elbow him to shut up. So you could see what the presenter was about to say.

"Now, all of you are happily coupled up, we have Y/N and Aaron, we have Millie and Daniel, Aureila and Chris and Zavi and Jai. However, please say hello to our final male contestant Charlie" she says and a blonde guy walks out full of confidence.

"£10 that he's out by week 2" you whisper to Aaron making him snicker a little before covering it up with a cough.

"Hi ladies, I'm Charlie I'm 28 and I'm a Physician" he smiles.

"Okay, so obviously all these ladies are currently coupled up, however you are able to choose any of them and break the couple they are currently in!" the presenter exclaims.

"Oooooof the whole lot!" he says flicking his hand looking over all of you.

"I'm going to make it easier for you and ask if the girls like the look of you for them to step forward. Please do so ladies on the count of three" she says and counts to 3.

When no-one steps forward he awkwardly shuffles.

"Come on ladies lets not be shy" he laughs, until the presenter deems no-one to step forward.

"Okay, I'll go with her in the Orange Bikini" he says pointing at you. You look away from Aaron in shock.

"Okay, Aaron please come stand here with me and Charlie please go stand next to Y/N" she says and you keep your eyes on Aaron as he walks away. He gives a nod to you and you nod back.

An understanding.

"Okay, these are our current couples, no more couplings will happen today!" she exclaims before she explains that you have time to explore the villa and get to know each other.

Oscar and Lando Reaction:

"Okay, no I understand that, good for her" Lando says shoving some plain popcorn into his mouth as he watched Y/N not step forward for Jai.

"I bet Y/N would step forward for me" Lando says as she rejects the second guy to come out Chris.

"Do you recon she'd step out for me?" Oscar asks looking over to his friend.

"Yeah mate. Your a catch. I even heard her say to Emma, the girl in marketing once that her fav accent is aussie!" Lando admits eyes glued to the screen as she steps forward for Daniel.

"She does!" Oscar exclaims looking at Lando making his pause the TV.

"Yeah, mate. Now lets watch coz this may be the future Mr Y/N in the paddock!" Lando says gesturing to the TV.

"Nah, that's foul. How you out there rejecting my girl Y/N Y/LN!" Lando screams at the TV in horror that Daniel had just gone with Millie.

They watch as the next guy walks out and Lando and Oscar raise eyebrows. It was a brown haired, brown eyed guy that did the beluga smile as he came out.

"She's so stepping forward for him!" Lando says pointing at Aaron.

"I'm already putting my money on them as winners" he comments again. And she does in fact step forward. He of course chooses her, no seconds thoughts needed. They watch as he compliments her and kisses her cheek.

"Dude, she defo had school girl crushes on us!" Lando admits seeing the similar attributes and mannerisms the mail had to the McLaren driver duo.

They wait until they see Charlie walking in.

“Nah man, he keeps eyeing her up! He’s gonna take her away from Aaron!” Lando explains, but Oscar is just unhappy that she’s coupled up with anyone in general.

He should have admitted to her ages ago that he was madly in love with her.

They then watched on as the girls all parted ways walking into the bedroom and makeup area where all their clothes were in the wardrobes with their names on!

The boys all sat around the campfire talking to each other. Not fully getting to know each other wanting to save that for dinner later on.

But Oscar didn’t know how much longer he could watch this if you were going to be flirting with people the whole time.

Taglist:

@littlesatanicassholebitch @hockey-racing-fubol @laura-naruto-fan1998 @22yuki @simxican @sinofwriting @lewisroscoelove @cmleitora @stupidandunnecessary @clayra-g @daemyratwst @honey-belden @moonypixel @lauralarsen @vader-is-hot @ironcowboycopnickel @itsjustkhaos @the-untamed-soul @beebo86 @happylittlereader @ziejustme @lou-larcher5 @thewulf @purplephantomwolf @chasing-liberosis @chillyleclerc @chanthereader @annoyingmoonballoon @summissss @evieepepi08 @havaneseoger08 @celesteblack08 @gulphulp @fandom1ruined2me @celebstories @starfusionsworld @jspitwall @sierruhh @georgeparisole @dakotatankbig @youcannotcancelquidditch @zzonsbeek @tallbrownhairsarcastic @mellowarcadefun @ourteenagetragedy @otako5811 @countingstacksandpanicattacks @peachiicherries @formulas-bitch @cherry-piee @hopexcroc @mirrorball-6 @spilled-coffee-cup @mehrmonga @bigsimperika @blueberry64857959 @eiraethh @lilypadlover @curseofhecate @alliwantisadonut @the-fem1n1ne-urge @21stcenturytaegi @dark-night-sky-99 @spideybv28 @i-wish-this-was-me @tallrock35 @butterfly-lover @barnestatic @landossainz @darleneslane @barcelonaloverf1life @r0nnsblog @ilove-tswizzle @kapsylia @laneyspaulding19 @lazybot @malynn @cassielikereading @viennakarma @teamnovalak @landosgirlxoxo @marie0v @jlb20416 @yourbane @teamnovalak @nikfigueiredo @fionaschicken @0picels0 @seomako @urdad-hot @formula1mount @tinydeskwriter @butterfly-lover @ironmaiden1313

[coconut-dreamz]

delicate

"is it chill that you're in my head?" || tom blyth x famous! reader

a/n: it's my first time writing for tom blyth and i've been obsessed with him and taylor swift songs lately so i wrote this! i hope you enjoy ! slightly angsty, ambiguous relationship between reader and tom

my reputation's never been worse

so you must like me for me

ever since the news came out that you and your a-list celeb ex broke up, negative comments filled your comment sections. all you wanted to do was turn them off, but your pr team was vehemently against it. they wanted it to seem like you didn't care about the criticisms, you didn't, but it was getting out of hand now. 

there were rumors on those stupid gossip sites that you had cheated on him and that it was what caused the downfall of you two. that couldn't be further from the truth, but he and his pr team decided to not comment on it and therefore your management team decided that it would look like you were just trying to cover your ass by denying the accusations. 

but, just when you were in the deep of it, you met tom. he didn't care about what people were saying about you. you had met at a mutual friend's new years party. he hadn't even heard about the rumors about you until you mentioned it. he was a breath of fresh air. 

dive bar on the east side, where you at?

phone lights up my nightstand in the black

you had moved to new york recently to escape the toxicity that plagued your every move in la. you didn't have many friends there, all of them left behind in la. tom had taken it upon himself to show you the best spots in town. 

you were wallowing in self pity, watching dumb rom-coms on a random tuesday evening when your phone lights up on your nightstand. you pause your film and move to pick up the phone. it was tom, asking if you were busy. you quickly reply with a no. he invites you out to a nearby dive bar with him and some of his friends. 

you were hesitant at first, feeling comfortable in your bed. but, tom managed to convince you to  come out. you quickly throw on a pair of jeans and a nice shirt, hailing a cab and heading to the bar in question.

the moment you walk into the bar, tom shouts your name, waving you over to him and his group of friends. "i'm so glad you could make it! this is rachel and josh, they're my costars for my most recent project." 

is it cool that i said all that?

is it chill that you're in my head?

you laugh at tom's ridiculous dancing, you were on facetime as he was on set for tbosas and you were still back in new york. you keep laughing at his antics, shouting out "oh my god, i love you!" you immediately throw your hands over your mouth, eyes widened. did you seriously just say that? "oh my god! you didn't just hear that!" you shout at tom, your face flushed a bright red. you immediately hung up, too embarrassed to face his reaction yet. 

you couldn't lie, tom was always on your mind. you didn't want to admit it, but you were falling for the brit. your thoughts constantly led to him. you could be thinking about tuna and you would somehow end up on tom. 

your phone starting ringing, shortly after you hung up. it was tom. you realized you had to face him either way and answered the call. "i love you too," he admits once the call connects. any shred of embarrassment left your body hearing that. a smile graced your face and a newfound warmth filled your body.

third floor on the west side , me and you

handsome you're a mansion with a view

do the girls back home touch you like i do?

you had originally gotten a rinky dinky apartment when you first moved out here, not expecting to stay long. but the new friends you made helped you fall in love with new york. so, you decided to get a new apartment. this time, on the upper west side. tom was kind enough to help you move from your first apartment to the new one.

after a long day of rearranging the new furniture you had gotten, you and tom were laying on the floor of your living room. he sat up and stared out the window of your new apartment, the view was a lot better compared to your previous one, which was just a brick wall. as he admired the city lights, you admired him. 

you move to hug his back as the two of you enjoy the view of the city below you. the two of you didn't have a label. sure, you told each other that you loved each other, went on dates and even double dates, but you had never called him your boyfriend and you, his girlfriend. you wondered what was stopping either of you from taking the next step and making it official.

was he this way with the girls back home? were you different from the british girls from his past? thoughts of self doubt plagued your mind. "what's on your mind, beautiful?" tom's voice breaks you out of your reverie. "huh? oh, nothing." you try to avoid the reality. "don't lie, i can tell something's bothering you." 

you sigh, taking a breath, "do the girls back home touch you like i do?" you ask him. he's confused at first, "my home's here, with you." and those five little words were able to dispel all your thoughts of self doubt and insecurities. you simply kiss him in content at his words of reassurance. 

it didn't matter if you two didn't have a label yet, you were his home, and he was yours.

long night with your hands up in my hair

echoes of your footsteps on the stairs

stay here, honey, i don't wanna share

after a long night of bar hopping, you two stumble into your apartment. too tired to even take off your street clothes, you both collapse on the bed, quickly falling asleep. it's around 6 am you stir awake. you can hear tom walking up the stairs to your room. "are you leaving?" you ask as he enters the bedroom. "yeah, i have a shoot in a couple hours." he searches around for his missing sock. 

you frown, hearing this. "come back, just for a few minutes." you plead. you weren't ready to let him go yet. to share him with the rest of the world. right now he was just yours, and you wanted it to stay that way. "fine, but only for a little," he agrees, abandoning his search for his missing sock. and instead climbs back in bed into your open arms.

sometimes i wonder, when you sleep

are you ever dreaming of me?

it was another night where tom slept over in your apartment after a night out on the town. you couldn't fall asleep, instead staring at tom's peaceful face as he slept. he had a small smile on his face as he slept. you wonder what he's dreaming about. you hope that it's you and if it wasn't, you didn't want to know. you snuggle in closer to his warm body and decide to try to fall alseep.

sometimes when i look into your eyes

i pretend you're mine all the damn time

you were at your friend's new years party, it had been a whole year since you had met tom. the two of you were dancing wildly to the music playing, tipsy off the champagne. as you stared up into his eyes, you envisioned a future together where you didn't have to question your relationship status with him. 

[maychorian]

Found Family Anime Recs

I recently reblogged a list of found family anime recs and was a bit surprised by how many reblogs and likes it got. I had really reblogged it just so I can find it later to watch the shows I hadn't already seen on the list, but apparently I have a lot of followers who are interested in this topic! Well, I've watched a lot of anime, so here are ten found family anime shows that I absolutely love. These are in no particular order.

Buddy Daddies

This show is similar enough to Spy X Family that you might be tempted to call it a rip-off. It's really quite different though. There's a lot less comedy (though there's still SOME comedy) and a lot more healing from past trauma. The animation is gorgeous, and the relationships really tug at my heart. It's more realistic than Spy X Family, in some ways, though it's still pretty ridiculous. The melodrama in the last couple of episodes did annoy me a bit, but it's still a very satisfying show. It's like a fanfiction I would write, which is really the highest recommendation I can give, haha, because that means it's exactly the kind of story I would like. 

2. Samurai Champloo

This show was made by much of the same team that created Cowboy Bebop, but for some reason it never got the same cult status, which is really too bad. I love Cowboy Bebop, but I love Samurai Champloo more. It's about two ronin and a teenage girl traveling through Edo-era Japan to find someone the girl is looking for. Throughout the series, the three form a very strong bond, despite all of their communication difficulties and past traumas. I've rewatched this show probably more than any other anime. It's brutal at times, but so very satisfying.

3. Natsume Yuujin-cho

Natsume lost his parents as a young child and was passed around from relative to relative, most of whom couldn't deal with him because his ability to see yokai (Japanese folk spirits) made him a freak in their eyes. As the series starts, he's finally taken in by an older couple in a rural village who actually want him, and he's finally able to start forming connections with other people and find a support system with his new caretakers, his peers, and the yokai he tries to help. It's a very sweet, sad series, much more sentimental than the first two entries on this list, but a very soothing and lovely watch when you are in need of some relaxation. Warning, though, the flashbacks to Natsume's past families can be truly gutwrenching. He was not treated well for a very long time, and it's hard to stomach.

4. Barakamon

Handa is a calligrapher who gets essentially exiled to a remote island after causing problems on purpose. He has a hard time connecting with people and is struggling with his art. Over the course of the story, he forms relationships with his neighbors, especially an adorable child with possibly the best child voice-acting I've ever heard, and slowly rediscovers his joy in creation again. It's cute and funny and beautiful, and it makes me want to live on a remote Japanese island.

5. My Roommate Is a Cat

Subaru is a young novelist who recently lost his parents, who were pretty much his only connection to humanity. While trying to recover from this massive loss, he adopts a stray cat who quickly becomes the most important creature in his life. Through the cat, he begins to form relationships with other people, as well. The show is unique in that the first half of each episode is from the human's POV and the second half is from the cat's POV. It's a very lovely and soothing show. Pets are family, too!

6. Haikyuu

Haikyuu was the show that opened my eyes to the aspect of found family in sports anime. I know a lot of tumblr enjoys Haikyuu for the shipping, but to me it's more satisfying to view it through the lens of found family. Each team is essentially their own found family, in their own unique way, and the relationships are particularly realistic and well-depicted by this mangaka. I love Tanaka being a big brother to the first years, Kuroo and Kenma's mutual protectiveness and support, all of it. 

7. Kuroko no Basuke

This is the silly basketball show, and in my opinion it's not as good as Haikyuu, but I love the relationships here as well. Especially between Kuroko and Kagami, of course. Their mutual protectiveness is just chef's kiss. But the whole Seirin team is really great. I love them so much. The teamy goodness is what makes the silliness watchable for me.

8. One Piece

What is there to say about One Piece? This is, like, the ultimate found family show. All of the pirate crews with any kind of goodness at their core are found families, but especially the Strawhats. Luffy is just going around looking at people and declaring, "Okay, you're in my family (on my crew) now." If you've never watched One Piece before, I'm going to make an unorthodox recommendation and suggest you watch the live action Netflix adaption first. It does a really good job of capturing the feel and aesthetic and just pure loveliness of this story in a much more compact and approachable way than the anime. However, if you like it, I do recommend that you watch the anime from the beginning, because there is a lot of expansion on the themes there, and the characterization is slightly different. Usopp in particular kinda got shorted in the live action, so you'll understand him a lot more if you watch his introduction arc in the anime. But honestly both versions are great. I'm on my third rewatch of the live action version already, and I will watch and rewatch the anime until I die, probably. One of my favorite stories of all time.

9. The Weakest Tamer Began a Journey to Pick Up Trash

I found this one slightly annoying in how it was obviously carefully designed to tug at my heartstrings, but it's working, so I don't have much right to complain. It's about a little kid driven out of her home who gradually gathers a found family of both monsters she tames and adult adventurers and guardsmen who take one look at this lonely child and go, "Well, guess I have a baby now." The isekai element is very lowkey, in that she basically just has a voice in her head giving her advice, and I like that it's about fighting local corruption instead of a demon army or what have you. I want more shows like this and less shows like every other generic isekai, haha.

10. Dungeon Meshi

This show is blowing up tumblr right now, so you've probably already seen it a billion times, but I'm going to make one more appeal for you to watch/read this story. It is so, so so good. And in my opinion, it is much MUCH more about family, both born and found, than it is about shipping. I could write a whole essay about Marcille and Falin's relationship that has nothing to do with romance, as I could for any other two (or three or four) characters in the main party, plus those outside. There is a LOT going on. I've been playing RPGs and LARPs for twenty years, and one reason I love the hobby so much is for the joy of creating found families with my best friends in new and different worlds, over and over again. This is the first piece of fiction I've found that really captures that particular aspect of party-based fantasy stories, the relationships that form and grow, the tight-knit bonds that keep everyone moving forward despite the monsters you must face (and consume). 

[maluceh]

Top Lily variants? I've seen so many "[random hp character #10] variants" online, with various degrees of accuracy, but I don't remember ever seeing one for lily. Your Jily ones were so accurate (the only pair I'm not super familiar with was peraltiago, and I know enough about them to know they fit), so I was curious if you had any just for her as a character. You basically wrote the Lily (& Jily) gospel so I trust your takes <3

*cracks knuckles*

I'm about to give you a full detailed dive into Lily's character and personality that you absolutely did not ask for. I’d have to say the ones I had already picked for Jily variants (since I always look for couples where they both have James/Lily’s personalities). I’ll try and make it to ten but there’s only so many characters that truly fit Lily for me. Mostly the characters that I see as Lily, are sarcastic, witty, overachievers, intelligent, charismatic, and snarky…

Amy Santiago (Brooklyn Nine-Nine)

I know you said you haven’t seen it, but TRUST ME. Amy is a control freak know it all, she finds comfort in order and structure. Although she’s a bit more uptight than I imagine Lily to be. Her constant need for reassurance and approval from figures of authority is something I can definitely see in Lily. Her relationship with Holt is kinda what I imagine Lily to be like with Minerva/Alastor. Also, the fact that she is deeply loyal (as most characters in this list).

Over the course of the show she loses up a bit, and learns to have more fun and I think this could be applied to Lily in her Hogwarts years. Lily being a muggleborn is a very VERY important part of her character, as well as her morals and political standing with blood purity.

We can draw certain parallels between her and Hermione (overachievers, Head Girls, prefects), you don’t get those badges by simply passing by through school. So from this we can deduce that Lily was an excellent student that focused on exceeding at school, because there’s an extra need to prove herself among not just her teachers but her peers as well. To make them see that she’s just as much magic as they are.

So, like Amy, she's constantly trying to prove that she is smart and qualified (Amy in a field mostly male, Lily in a world mostly pureblood).

Annabeth Chase (Percy Jackson)

Annabeth too is a smart character that wants approval —in this case, from her mother—. She is more arrogant and snarky, a little sharper around the edges, which is so Lily!!

Her upbringing has made her become more guarded with her feelings and who she puts her trust in, also her reluctance to accept Luke’s betrayal. These are things that I see in Lily’s canon descriptions and appearances. From growing up with a sister that does not accept her and being betrayed by her best friend. In canon, after SWM (Snape’s Worst Memory), when Snape camps outside her common room waiting for her to ask her for her forgiveness she says that she has been making excuses on his behalf for a while. A lot of people call Lily a hypocrite for only ending her friendship with Snape after she was personally affected by his views, but personally I think that’s part of what makes her such an interesting character.

She’s at war with herself, not really there or here, having to be in the middle of two worlds that do not fully accept her (Annabeth with her father and Camp Half Blood/ Lily with the muggle and wizarding world). And after losing one of the people connecting her to a place of security (Thalia/Petunia), she refuses to see that the last person connecting her to that safe place is also going to leave her to join a side of the war opposite to hers (Luke/Snape).

Kate Sharma/Sheffield (Bridgerton TV/Books)

Kate is funny, closed off and witty. She rushes to judge people and decide for herself whether they are worthy of her time or not, sometimes without even bothering to actually know them. Sometimes (specifically in the books), she’s so ridiculous and funny, not really forcing herself to fit in societal norms, which is something I can definitely see in Lily.

Also, her on the show with Anthony in S3, is just how I imagine married Jily, just perfect.

Dana Scully (The X Files)

In Dana I see Lily’s fierce loyalty and sense of right and wrong. The hiding of her emotions, and also how determined she is, that even though she wants to believe she doesn’t, not even after seeing hundreds of crazy things happen in front of her, she still clings to her own truth.

Tiana (The Princess and the Frog)/Cinderella (1950)

Tiana and Cinderella remind me of Lily in the sense of a hardworking woman, also really headstrong and married to her own way of thinking. A shell hard to break, because of all the walls she’s put up in order to survive. Like Lily, Tiana doesn’t take kindly to outsiders and people who come off as standoffish (Naveen/James and Sirius), but eventually ends up getting to know them and treasuring them as life companions. And you might think me crazy for adding Cinderella, but her unwavering kindness and optimism in the face of hardship is undoubtedly Lily, she’s not all sunshine and rainbows tho —yes the 1950’s version—, she hates the situation that she’s in and wastes no time (alone with her friends) to complain about it, she bites back and only “behaves” out of survival, she’s nice and warm but also angry and headstrong.

Yoon Jin-myung (Hello, My Twenties)

Here is another hard worker female character that I can’t help but see a little bit of Lily in. Although Jin-myung is much MUCH more shy and introverted than Lily, still, she has a complicated relationship with her family and tries really hard to do a million things at the time, forgetting to care for herself and diving into routines of work/school that are almost self destructive.

Honourable mentions.

Chili (Bluey) Morticia Addams (The Addams Family Values)

Mostly how I imagine Lily as a mom/ her married life (along with Kate too). Morticia might seem like a stretch but aside from her dark interests and aesthetic, she's a loving mom and partner and she puts her family first, she’s also a bit of a freak, like Lily.

Sloane (Ferris Buller’s Day Off) Pam Beesley (The Office)

Only on the prankster side of Lily, more chill and easy going, losing up a bit to have fun with Sirius and James.

[jealousmartini]

List of things I am excited to experience in my K-pop idol dr(s) !

∘₊ ✧───────────────────✧₊∘

💭 — CONCERTS AND CROWD WORK

I FORGOT TO ADD SOMETHING HERE☠️☠️

Doing crowd work with my fans while performing is SUCH A DREAM FOR ME OMG. That's like one my main reasons I'm excited to have a concert because I want to interact with my audience; exchanging glances, throwing stuff for one of them to have and of course performing at my best.

🍊 — COLLABS AND HANGOUTS

Okay okay, I know I have yapped in the past about being excited to meet BTS, but first, let me name a list of groups/idols I am so hyped to be in a 2-foot radius of because sometimes a girl cant help but shriek at the thought of them🙈:

NEWJEANS ||

I FUCKING LOVE THESE GIRLS SO MUCH NO ONE GETS IT. Just a little fun fact, MKB(my own gg) is considered to be like an older sister gg to NEWJEANS because they are both famous 5 member girl groups. Some people even say that NEWJEANS' aesthetic is like a younger sister to MKB's; even though MKB isn't all that "mature" it does give off an older sister feel in contrast to NEWJEANS' AND ITS SOOO CUTEEE😭😭

WONYOUNG — IVE ||

In my dr, Me and Wony are really good friends, and we have each others contacts. I've gone to battle for her in my tiktoks and tweets against antis (I am very much popular for this too since it's considered controversial to speak out in defence for another idol and she isn't the only idol I've fought for😭😭) cus she's literally the sweetest idol ever?? I actually love her to death.

CHAEYOUNG, NAYEON, SANA, MOMO, JIHYOU — TWICE ||

In my opinion all of TWICE is so cute and I freaking love them all, but I am closest to these five. They're some of my closest girl friends because they were the first friends i made (other than my members lmao) and I love them all so much please I can't wait to meet them (especially since MKB and TWICE both exist under JYP so we're basically always hanging out)

BTS ||

No, because you guys. the dating, fighting and relationship rumours that are gonna be floating around me are gonna be CRAZYY cus of how many frequent interactions I have with the group/ the members individually and how much i talk about them because I am SO down bad for them PLEASE (but we can't let them and army know you guys shhh🤫) and I also just be having the LOUDEST MOUTH EVER🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏾‍♀️

But aside from how badly I want each and every one of them, Me and MKB are super cool friends with BTS; usually, 1 or 2 of us will visit them for whatever reason needed and whatever occasion like watching them behind the scenes, sometimes, we will appear on their lives in person or on phone (cus we have each others contacts😝🤞🏾), we always wish them happy birthday (as they do back to us), and few times some of us will make special appearances on their game challenges on RUN BTS too.

Also, I'd say I'm closest to being with Jungkook, Jimin, Namjoon, and Taehyung- BUT I get along very well with Yoongi, Jin, and Hoeseok too. I just hangout with those 4 the most out of all of them. [EDIT// Actually I do hang out with Jin too what am I talking about]

STRAYKIDS AND ATEEZ ||

More hot men. Idk what to say more about this LMAO😭😭

💭 — LIVESTREAMS AND BIRTHDAYS

MKB is most infamous (other than our music of course) for our ridiculous lives. But my favourite kind of live is the birthday one. The moment of appreciation and love sent from fans and the celebration from my family members and staff is so precious and important to me. The thought into the gifts and the messages mean so much more to me than what anyone could imagine and it gives so much meaning to birthdays because they are so important to me.

🍊 — PRODUCING, FILMMAKING AND BTS

I have always been a big music nerd and my urge to produce music for a loving and interested fanbase makes me feel so warm. it's just what my silly little heart was made to do.

I have also been super interested in being involved with the work behind the scenes , not just being in the scenes of our music videos. I really want to have a say in what the concept of the video to match the music will look like, the outfit ideas, the hidden lore in the videos. It's just such a dream come true for me, and I'm even excited for whatever travelling needs to be done, too.

💭 — STUPID SPECULATIONS/RUMOURS ?

Being nosey and attention seeking is a deadly combo. Always gotta know something, always gotta be talked about somehow (and I usually prefer the fake dating allegations cus they're just so funny and sometimes cute depending on who I'm being shipped with lol)

🍊 — FOOD

I am THE BIGGEST foodie there is I swear. I have always craved and cried to eat real Korean (and East asian) food without thinking about my money or my skin as well as usual meals too and as much as I want (because I scripted my manager let's me eat anything I want since I don't gain weight (I scripted this for all idols tbh cus I just want to see wony eat SOMETHING😭🙏🏾))

💭 — V.I.P STUFF

When I say VIP stuff, I mainly mean 1st class vacations and trips. I freaking LOVE exploring and travelling.. ON LAND. When I shift though, this will be my first time flying on a plane and I'm kinda excited, kinda frightened. I have a slight fear of heights so I'm gonna have to brave through it and try not to throw up or something.

🍊 — FANMADE GIFTS (fanimations, fanfictions, fan art, real life gifts, fan edits, etc.)

I am so freaking hyped for this stuff you guys stop. One of my main love languages is gift giving and receiving, and I already get so hyped when I get a gift on a random day from a family memeber😭😭.

The fan edits and fanfiction are gonna be crazy tho omg the ships..😭😭😭 (I WILL be looking out for the ship fanfics best believe.)

💭 — GOOGLEBOX BUT ITS KPOP IDOLS

"STOP TALKING ABOUT GOOGLEBO-" STFU AND LISTEN HOE🤬

Okay, so before I explode for excitement, I had this idea to make take the Googlebox celebrities and make a K-pop idols edition, and it couldn't be more perfect. Of course, you might be worried about how little privacy and time to myself off camera I may have now that I've added this into my dr, but never worry!

I scripted MKB to get 2 weeks to a month long breaks depending on stuff like exhaustion, injuries, meeting families, or just having a well-deserved vacation. I also scripted that our fanbase is very respectful of our space and don't bombard us if we're spotted in public.

Edit: O.m.g applies to all the things I said about MKB too guys I just cba editing everything add o.m.g in rn

@4ellieluv @cocozydiaries @samara444 @theshifterbear @livingmydreamlife5555

[becauseimanicequeen]

Don't Ask Me for QL Recommendations Because My Taste is BAD

Bad as in TRASHY.

For your own good, don't ask me for recommendations.

I'm writing this because I've gotten some asks lately for QL recommendations and I wanted to spare you the pain.

If you still don't trust me (because to be fair, why would you? I'm just a random weirdo on the internet), let me tell you how bad my taste is so you'll know why I'm doing you a great favor by sparing you the pain.

(I also watch, and rewatch, series/films for ridiculous reasons, yet another reason not to listen to me. I’ll come back to this in a minute.)

Let's start with a brief rewind to a couple of decades ago (because it matters in this context).

The first queer content of any kind I can remember watching was Xena: The Warrior Princess in the late 90s and early 00s (I was a child/pre-teen at the time). It was such a pivotal point for me, which is why I remember it vividly. Not only was Lucy Lawless (the actress playing Xena) the most beautiful human being I had ever seen at that point, Xena was also queer and I loved her.

The series, though? It’s bad.

It’s over-the-top, contains ridiculous humor, face-palm-worthy fight scenes, etc., etc. (But, it was also the 90s, so it was quality television at the time, no matter what anyone else says.) It was so bad that it was ridiculously entertaining. I would watch it today (if I could find it anywhere…). That’s how bad my taste is (or how attached I am to bad shit).

That’s when the groundwork for my bad taste was laid. I blame THANK Xena: The Warrior Princess for it.

Then there was a huge skip until July last year when I found the Asian QL world, because I had no idea it even existed (I’m from Europe, btw).

(My personal story is that I fell into the queer/gay film world before the QL world, and the queer films I could find were made and released very sporadically. But ever since I found the treasure trove of Asian QL series in July 2023, I’ve watched 291 series/films as of right now.)

The reason I fell into the Asian QL world was thanks to a Short on YouTube with the main characters from Roommates of Poongduck 304 kissing. (Want to know what convinced me to watch it? One of them was wearing blue and the other pink, two of my favorite colors. Yep, that’s the reason. Told you it would be ridiculous.)

Since then, I’ve been exploring this rabbit hole and loving every second of all the bad shit that’s out there (there’s some great shit too, and some great things that aren’t shit at all, but they’re not really my taste because my taste is trashy, remember?).

I quickly noticed what my taste was pulling me towards and, in some cases, the trashier it was, the more I liked it.

(I’m talking about fiction here. I’m mature enough to be able to separate fiction from reality. Just because I enjoy watching a series/film that depicts a problematic topic, and sometimes do it in a problematic way, doesn’t mean I condone it in real life. I’m just putting this here as a disclaimer because people on the internet are easily offended nowadays. And I honestly don’t have time to respond to people who are venting their anger after purposefully misinterpreting what I’ve said, unless there’s a very valid reason, which there usually isn’t.)

So, what are some of my favorites that I absolutely do not recommend you watch?

Unless you want to watch trash, then, have at it. Just don't say I didn't warn you.

(Btw, if you like any of these, I apologize for calling your taste bad and trashy. But, if you like any of these, I think you already know your taste is bad. Also, if you like any of these, hey, bestie!)

Let’s start with the less extreme ones so I don’t scare you away from the start. After that, they’re in no particular order.

(With the issues/TW section for each series/film I include possible trigger warnings, taboo topics, what viewers/commenters have brought up as problematic, my possible issues with the writing, etc. I won’t list everything (because some of them would have looong lists) but I’m including some of the major ones.)

Kiseki: Dear to Me (Taiwan)

Issues/TW: Dubious consent, age gap, “adoptive” brothers becoming lovers, etc.

Both couples in this series have their own set of issues. Ai Di and Chen Yi are the “adoptive” brothers who become lovers while Ze Rui and Zong Yi have an age gap (I can’t remember how big of an age gap but I think it was close to 10-ish years).

(Before I move on there’s one thing you should know about me… I was born into a family with a varying degree of age gaps within marriages, from 2 to 23 years. Even though we’ve talked about the bigger age gaps occasionally, it’s never been an issue. I don’t mind age gaps as long as they’re legal. Does that mean I would hook up with someone in their late teens or early twenties? No. I would rather hook up with someone who has a fully developed brain, which science suggests doesn’t happen until somewhere in the mid-to-late-twenties. But it does mean that age gaps (as long as they’re legal) aren’t something I’ll be bothered by or judgemental of.)

Kiseki: Dear to Me is one of my favorite series because:

It’s from Taiwan, and the Taiwanese QLs are generally great at dealing with more difficult and taboo topics.

Ai Di is the feistiest, most colorful, and pettiest bitch and I love him with my entire ice-cold heart.

Chen Yi looks amazing in black.

The neon lights (because I’m a slut for that).

Also, the kissing (from both couples) is great.

You know, I did say that these would be series/films I absolutely do not recommend you watch. But I’ll actually recommend this one. Watch it. It’s great.

Unknown (Taiwan)

Issues/TW: Age gap, “adoptive” brothers becoming lovers, etc.

This is another one I’ll actually recommend you watch because it’s great.

The main couple (Qian and Yuan) are the “adoptive” brothers becoming lovers while the age gap is most prominent between San Pang (Qian’s business partner) and Lili (Qian’s younger sister). There’s also the fact that San Pang is part of their chosen family and has seen Lili grow up and stuff. So, if that bothers you, then don’t watch it.

The biggest reasons I would personally recommend it to those I know aren’t particularly bothered by taboo topics are because:

The yearning is palpable (and I love shit like that).

Qian would move heaven and earth for his family.

The great story.

The even more amazing acting.

Some moments made me bawl (and since I'm an ice queen, I get obsessed with shit that shatters my ice and makes me cry).

I know I said my taste is trashy… but I would actually give myself a gold star for loving this one.

Now, back to the real trash…

Love in the Air (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Dubious consent, SA, rape, MAME, etc.

Everyone and their aunt (or however the saying goes in English) seem to have an issue with MAME (the original creator of LITA and several other trashy BLs) and for good reason. (I would say that she improved a lot with Wedding Plan, which is the least problematic thing I’ve watched from her and it’s the latest series of hers, as of right now.) If she’s grown, remains to be seen. But it doesn’t change the fact that LITA has some issues.

Honestly, I just watch this for the visuals, as in the motorcycles and the neon lights. That’s it. That’s the reason.

I mean, if you look at the whole first sex scene between Sky and Prapai, you get what I mean with the neon lights. It’s divine. (I recently rewatched LITA for this very reason. A waste of time, you say? Not when you’re a slut for neon lights.)

Don’t watch this though! Just enjoy this gif instead…

I just saved you 13-ish hours of your life. You’re welcome.

TharnType and TharnType 2: 7 Years of Love (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Dubious consent, homophobia, domestic violence, MAME, etc.

Don’t watch this. This is bad. As in, really bad. And all the issues are in the main couple’s relationship.

But, since my taste is really bad, I rewatched this recently for horny reasons (it’s Mew, after all, and he’s got me in a chokehold for some reason). It’s still as bad as I remembered it, but I would still rewatch it for Mew’s sake (and because Techno is ridiculous throughout both seasons, which means I love him).

To be fair there are other, a lot spicier, series that I watch more often for horny reasons (yes, some of them are in this post because they’re trashy too), but none of them include Mew. And since I have to get my dose of Mew from time to time, I return to TharnType (especially the second season).

Big Dragon (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Dubious consent, blackmail, etc.

This isn’t that problematic in my opinion, but there is definitely a drug-induced sexcapade that’s taped and used for blackmail for a while. And that's how the series starts.

I recently did a rewatch of this and it was still bad (in a good way) and I loved every second of it.

What I love about this series are:

The visuals. The set designs are beautiful (especially Yai’s home and the bar, before he demolishes it). As a visual artist, this is speaking to my soul.

The chemistry between Yai and Mangkorn.

Pong and Park. Two idiots I love with my whole ice-cold heart.

And the title track because it’s addictive as hell to listen to.

Also, the sex (which my horny ass needs). Let's not forget the sex. Those scenes were also visually stunning, which made me love them even more.

Honestly, I'll kneel and bow down to this shit because it's that great.

Don’t trust my judgment, though, because my taste is trashy.

Only Friends (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Manipulation, stalking, promiscuity, etc.

This series is messy in terms of intrigue (especially from Boston and then Boeing’s part). The ending had some issues. The sex isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, either. I, on the other hand, would drink a whole pot of this.

Overall, I loved this trash. Mainly because of:

How visually stunning it is.

Sand. He’s a hardworking, good person. He’s also a proud bi!

How they depicted and handled Ray’s addiction and recovery. (I know some watchers were upset that the focus of the series landed on Sand and Ray towards the end while neglecting the other characters, which is a valid point. However, setting that aside, the way they portrayed Ray’s addiction and then his road to recovery in the last couple of episodes was realistic, and I loved it.)

The promiscuity, because I loved it and the mess it created.

Boston being a slutty asshole. The more of a slutty asshole he was, the more I loved him. (I know, it’s a me-problem.)

Boeing coming in and kissing (almost) everyone.

It’s trashy, it’s messy, and I love it!

But, I don’t recommend it to anyone.

My Beautiful Man 1, 2, and 3 Eternal (Japan)

Issues/TW: Dubious consent, obsession, bullying, lack of (or no real) communication, etc.

I love this series (2 seasons + 1 film), but I honestly don’t see it as particularly problematic. But I know others will disagree with me, so here it is on my list of trashy QLs.

I don’t mind Hira’s obsession because I know Kiyoi is just as whipped for Hira (even though he doesn’t know how to communicate it to Hira at first, especially in a way that Hira understands). Would I be okay with someone’s obsession and stalking in real life? Of course not. But, as I mentioned before, I’m mature enough to separate fiction from reality.

Also, I love miscommunicating characters, especially when the misunderstandings they create bring out all the emotions (angst, hurt, anger, sadness, embarrassment, etc.) and even the flight response. I especially love miscommunicating characters when they learn to communicate throughout the series/film. And this series is especially delicious on the miscommunicating part.

But, it’s also problematic, apparently. So, don’t watch it.

The End of the World With You (Japan)

Issues/TW: Blackmail, biphobia, cheating, etc.

I’ll be honest and say that I’ve only watched this series three times. And that’s because the biphobia is fucking annoying. In this series, the bi character is depicted as a cheater (which is common in QLs, btw). It’s an exasperating stereotype. Cheating has nothing to do with your sexuality and everything to do with who you are as a person.

(I mean, you can be a proud bi like Payu in LITA or Sand in OF. They have eyes only for one person as soon as they’re pursuing or dating someone. Give me more bi characters like this, please.)

We could discuss how cheating can be used as characterization in certain stories. But not in this one. Here, they’re basically using Ritsu’s bisexuality as the reason he’s cheating (since he’s sleeping with Masumi while having a thing going on with a girl, and then sleeping with a girl when he has a thing with Masumi), which is why it’s bothering me in this series.

If I’m going to tell you why I like this series, however, it’s for 2 reasons:

It’s about getting a second chance, a topic I love.

The sex (laser-focused horny Ritsu is my favorite Ritsu).

Check Out (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Biphobia, cheating, lazy writing, etc.

(It should be mentioned that I’ve read some comments about some issues involving the company behind this series. I haven’t dug deeper into this so I don’t really know if there’s any substance to the comments I’ve read (like official statements from the company or the other people involved, etc.). But I’m putting this out there in case this might be a potential issue for you (even though I’ve already told you that I don’t recommend you watch any of these because they’re all trashy).)

When I first checked this out at the beginning of this year, this series seemed to have created a storm of bad comments and reviews on MDL since it first came out. So, obviously, I needed to watch it because my taste is trashy.

And, you know what? I loved it!

Besides having the bi character depicted as a cheater (again, the use of this biphobic stereotype is so fucking annoying) and the sporadic clunky and stale scenes, I loved this series because:

It’s about second chances. As I mentioned before, I love that topic.

Best (the actor playing Daonuea) is the best in this series. There’s just something about him that grabs my attention every time. He has me in a similarly tight chokehold as Mew.

There’s sex (and my horny ass needs it).

But, it’s also trash, so don’t watch it.

Pit Babe (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Domestic violence, non-consensual, SA, age gap, etc.

This became popular. Really popular. I saw people comment about it everywhere. And usually, when stuff becomes popular, it’s more than likely reduced to trash quality by the general public. So, obviously, I had to watch it.

Did I end up loving it? Yes.

Honestly, the biggest issue this series had for me was the whole omegaverse thing (this was a new thing for me because I don’t come from an erotic fiction background, my head was rather stuck in fantasy fiction). And, from my limited understanding of this, they didn’t seem to fully commit to the omegaverse thing in Pit Babe, which was unfortunate.

The racing was also so-so for me, which hurt my soul because I usually love racing (cars, mcs, boats, etc.).

What I did like, however, was:

The chemistry between Pete and Kenta (and I’m so sad I only got crumbs of this).

Pavel (the actor playing Babe). I would watch and listen to him recite product placement scripts for toothpaste all day long.

The sex, especially the scene with Babe and Charlie in ep. 9 (even though it was mixed with clips from the racing) and Jeff and Alan’s scene in ep. 13 (because it was sensual, if we ignore the music).

The neon lights (have I mentioned that I’m a slut for neon lights?). I mean, just look at this:

I can watch that pinkish light all day long, even though Babe and Charlie are trying to distract me. (Especially Pavel!)

Dead Friend Forever (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Grooming, bullying, suicide & suicide attempts, etc.

Besides the issues listed above, this also suffered from lazy writing at the end. BUT, I fucking loved DFF anyway.

I never expected to love this series because it’s just a bunch of teenagers stuck at a house in the woods. How interesting could that be? Turns out, very.

DFF wasn’t perfect (perfection doesn’t exist anyway), but what I loved about it was:

The morally ambiguous characters.

The revenge plot.

The poetic justice.

The questioning of what was real vs hallucination.

The visually stunning shots.

The mask!

And Tan’s mask!

The beheading scene.

I could go on, but you get the point. I just love this piece of trash.

But, please, don’t watch it. You will suffer from brain rot. Trust me.

I, however, am currently rewatching this because I choose the brain rot. And my taste is trashy, remember? Or, perhaps I just love watching chaos unfold…

HIStory 3: Make Our Days Count (Taiwan)

Issues/TW: Dubious consent, age gap, tragic ending, etc.

Everyone and their aunt and even their dog have an issue with the ending of this one. And it’s understandable.

I don’t necessarily like or dislike the ending. Obviously, the bury your gays trope is tragic in itself, and, tragically, it’s still being used. That’s why I couldn’t find myself liking the ending, even though I don’t mind tragic endings. (Romeo and Juliet is one of my favorite classics, which people tend to forget is a tragedy and not a romance, btw, but I digress…)

At the same time, though, this series made me cry for a whole episode before tragedy struck because I could feel it. And you have no idea how obsessed I get about shit that makes me cry (since I’m an ice queen).

(Another side note: one of my favorite BLs is Once Again, which made me bawl throughout the whole series. It’s not on this list because it’s neither trashy nor bad, but it’s still one of my favorites because it broke me in the best ways. But, anyway…)

The best part of this series from beginning to end was the other couple, at least for me. This couple is the one with the age gap (which, again, doesn’t bother me) and I fucking love them! One, because Wilson Liu (the actor playing Bo Xiang) is such a gem. Second, because their first time was such a spur-of-the-moment thing fueled by a desire that went from 0-100kph in less time than a Ferrari would. And I loved it (just as much as the squeezing of boobs from behind, which, for some reason, appeals to me).

Also, the twins are so pretty it’s annoying.

Do I recommend it, though? No, because I don’t have time to respond to the clap back I’ll get when you come to the end.

HIStory 4: Close to You (Taiwan)

Issues/TW: Dubious consent, SA, obsession, age gap, stepbrothers becoming lovers, etc.

This one has some problems (especially the relationship between Yong Jie and Xing Si), but I love both the series and its problems (yes, I’m trash). You could say that I’m as obsessed with this series as Yong Jie is with Xing Si. Would I get this series drunk and fuck the living daylights out of it? No. But I would watch it once every 3 months or so. Oh, wait… I already do that. Because I’m trash.

What do I love so much about this series (other than what I mentioned above):

It’s from Taiwan.

Li Cheng is ridiculous, which is exactly why I love him.

Every time I rewatch it, it gets funnier.

The chemistry between Li Cheng and Teng Teng is amazing.

As well as the chemistry between Yong Jie and Xing Si.

The kissing is just as amazing.

The main fujoshi girl, Mei Fang, is so cute I can’t handle her.

And the bathroom scene! In that lighting! It’s iconic!

I don’t care what anyone else says. This is fucking gold to me. But, then again, my taste is trash. So, don’t listen to me.

KinnPorsche (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Dubious consent, SA, torture, Stockholm syndrome-ish, etc.

This is some next-level trash, and I fucking love it.

Two of the major relationships in this series (Kinn & Porsche and Vegas & Pete) are problematic at some point. Especially Vegas and Pete who have this whole captor/captive, torture, BDSM-ish type relationship. Of course, I love Vegas and Pete because my taste is super trashy (yes, it’s a me-problem, but I don’t force my taste on other people, so, for the love of all that is holy, don’t watch this!).

Other reasons I love this series and rewatch it from time to time:

It’s visually stunning! The cinematography is amazing. As I mentioned before, I’m a visual artist, so this is a very valid reason for me to watch it again and again. And again.

The neon lights.

The whole mafia thing.

The sex (because my horny ass needs it).

Playboyy (Thailand)

Issues/TW: SA, homophobia, suicide, etc.

I was debating whether or not to add this to my list solely based on the ending. However, up until that point, I really liked it.

The fact that every episode starts with a whole ass list of trigger warnings tells me this is my shit. And it was.

At times, it was so bad that it was good (until the ending, which was just so bad it was bad). The things I liked were:

The mystery.

Win (who played Nuth). His acting was great.

The chemistry between Nuth and Phop.

The tattooed daddy that’s Aob and his chemistry with Puen (there’s also an age gap here, btw, but as I’ve mentioned before, it’s fine by me as long as it’s legal).

The weird ass sex scenes (and the underwear).

And the not so weird ass sex scenes (like the ones between Aob and Puen and the ones between Nuth and Phop).

But, this series is trashy. Keep as far away from it as possible. If you still decide to dip in, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Red Wine in the Dark Night (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Obsession, blood, human blood bags, etc.

This is a queer film that’s BL-ish with some dark themes. Mainly, it’s about how far Wine would go to help the person he’s fallen for (or become attached to).

What I loved about this film was:

Fluke (who plays Wine). He’s such a great actor and I love him in everything he does.

Wine who is so desperate to love someone and be loved that he ends up doing some weird shit.

The darker and sadder vibe, which I love.

Irresistible Love 1 and Irresistible Love 2 (China)

(This is also called Uncontrolled Love.) 

Issues/TW: Obsession, homophobia, codependency, adoptive brothers becoming lovers, etc.

This is another queer film (in two parts) that is more BL-ish than the films I’m getting into below.

This depicts a weird relationship dynamic between Xie Yan and Shu Nian where Shu Nian was basically adopted into the family to become Xie Yan’s friend/babysitter/lackey. This is some weird ass shit, and I love weird ass shit so I really enjoyed this rare, uncensored, gem from China.

But, it’s also trashy. So, don’t watch it.

The next couple of films I’ll mention are (obviously) trashy, but also complex and deep (which is why I love them).

One Summer Night (South Korea)

Issues/TW: Obsession, dependency, oppression, etc.

This is a low-budget film from 2016 (so, production-wise, it’s definitely nothing like the usual stuff from South Korea you can watch on Netflix), but I love it.

It’s gritty, it’s raw, it’s explicit (an emphasis on explicit because you’ll see dicks), it deals with being a North Korean defector but ending up in an impoverished situation in South Korea, and it ends with a dubious ending you can interpret in different ways.

This is definitely not for the general QL viewers who watch QLs for the cutesy stuff.

And it's trashy. So, don’t watch it.

Dangerous Drugs of Sex (Japan)

Issues/TW: All the trigger warnings! Seriously. I feel like it’s better to say that so you’ll look up the TWs for yourself (if you choose to watch this, which I'm asking you not to) rather than me mentioning a few and forgetting others.

With this film, what others see are all the trigger warnings (and, yes, I see them too, they’re fucking obvious). However, I can see beyond that and watch it for what it is at the core: Two characters dealing with incredible grief.

Grief is a topic that often affects me and I can relate to it because I’ve had to deal with a lot of grief in my relatively short life. Watching a film like this where grief pushes the characters to their very limits will (often) get a special place in my heart, especially if done well. And it’s done very well in this film.

Do I condone the characters’ behaviors? No (especially not Yoden Ryoji’s). But I do understand that grief can send you over the edge (and in some cases throw you off the edge) because I’ve experienced it. I do understand that grief can cause you to make horrible decisions because I’ve done it (though, not this extreme). I do understand that grief can be self-destructive because I’ve been there. This film shows it all. That’s why I love it so much.

Do I recommend you watch this, tough? No. Don’t do it. This is not for everyone. It’s definitely not for those who watch QLs for the cutesy stuff.

But it is for me because I love trash. Especially good trash. And this is the best trash I’ve ever seen when it comes to gay films.

Anything by Scud Cheng

Lastly, I want to mention any film by Scud Cheng because…

And I’m an artist so art means everything to me.

Cheng is a screenwriter and director from Hong Kong. His films, the ones I’ve seen, are gritty, nude, and real. They are more on the art side than the others I’ve listed above, which is why they have a special place in my heart.

They’re also deep and explore themes like introspection (are we doing things because we believe they’re the right thing to do, or because external forces have “brainwashed” us to believe they’re the normal thing to do?), the porn industry and how it exploits young and queer men, death, politics, and love, to name a few.

These are not for the average QL watcher. They’re not for the faint of heart. They’re not for those who want an entertaining watch.

These films require multiple viewings. I’ve watched some once, some twice, and some more times, and I still find new themes and meanings woven into the stories. So, they’re complex and deep.

But, don’t watch them because I know you’ll come at me later. So, to spare us both the time and energy it would take to argue about this shit, just don’t watch any of it.

Now, if you still want to ask me for recommendations after all that, don't tell me I didn't warn you!

[rollinouttahere-writes]

Can i request Dark Chocolate and 20 for Zoro?

And Happy Valentines Day <333

I'm only two requests in and I've already broken my 'keep it under 1k words rule'. If anyone needs me I'm going to be putting on my clown make up for ever thinking I would be able to abide by that.

Yandere Roronoa Zoro x GN!Reader

1.4k words

Prompt:

I wanted to get something that reminded me of you. The problem is that everything reminds me of you.

At first you could explain away a missing item or two as simply forgetfulness on your part, or possibly getting swept away in the day to day chaos of being on the Thousand Sunny. As time went on and more and more things kept disappearing, those explanations seemed increasingly less likely. Someone had to be deliberately taking your belongings. 

What bothered you most was what was missing. Whoever was doing this wasn’t taking anything particularly valuable. You’d even left a wad of berry in your nightstand as a test of sorts, but it didn’t appear to have been so much as touched. They weren’t doing this for the sake of monetary gain.

For whatever reason, they were stealing more… Personal items. Clothes, mostly. Specifically clothing that had been worn like a tank top you’d worked out in or your recently slept in pajamas. It was the missing underwear that particularly disturbed you. That’s what officially escalated this from bizarre to creepy.

The most obvious culprit had been Sanji, but you doubted it was him after your confrontation. You’ve seen how he acts when he’s been caught doing something he isn’t supposed to be doing. He acts like a dog that got caught chewing on a new pair of shoes, and you’re sure that if he had a tail, it would be between his legs whenever Nami yells at him for doing something weird. But when you asked if he had anything to do with your recent bout of theft, he had been outraged. He seemed horrified and furious at the idea of someone stealing such intimate apparel from you and had vowed to pulverize whatever scum would do such a thing.

It could have been an act to throw you off, but that seemed unlikely. The reaction came off as entirely genuine, so you shelved the idea of your missing clothing being his doing. You were going to have to do something nice for him later to make up for the accusation.

With Sanji crossed off your suspects list, it was now empty. You had no idea who else could possibly be doing this to you. At this point, it was just as likely that some stray ferret had made itself at home on the ship and was stealing your clothes to make a nice den for itself. Frankly, that was the best case scenario. Anything outside of a cute, albeit mischievous, animal would be deeply concerning.

Feeling like you had no other option, you concocted a plan. While you were supposed to be training by yourself, you would instead hide in your room and wait for the perpetrator. It was typically after these training sessions that your belongings went missing, so this seemed like your best shot at catching them in the act.

Hiding yourself in your laundry hamper had proven itself to be a bit of a challenge. With how much clothing you were missing, you had to get really strategic in stuffing what was left around you to keep yourself hidden. When you were content with the placement, you lowered the lid of the hamper and waited. You couldn’t see a thing now that it was closed, but it would be easy enough to crack open the lid and peek out if your thief made an appearance. This was far from comfortable, but it was going to have to work. You couldn’t let whoever was stealing your damn underwear get away with it. Though you hoped that they would show up today because you would feel ridiculous if this effort was all in vain.

The sound of footsteps coming down the hall made you perk up. You waited with bated breath to see if they would pass the room or enter it. The steps stop in front of the door, and then the knob rattles as it’s opened. There’s a pause, then someone steps in and closes the door behind them. This has to be the person, but you decide to wait for them to do something incriminating before outing yourself. Given that your worn clothes were a favorite of theirs, they should come right to you so long as you didn’t give yourself away.

This person’s footsteps were heavy, and the sound of metal on metal accompanied their every move, like they had several things on them that kept crashing into each other. It sounded familiar, but you couldn’t narrow down which crew member it was just from that. Lots of them carried various things on them at all times.

Your nightstand’s drawer was opened, and the contents moved around as the intruder looked for who knows what. The drawer was slammed shut, and you can only assume that they didn’t find whatever they wanted in it.

Finally, you could hear them approaching your hamper. Your heart thrummed in your chest as you got ready to chew out whoever had been doing this. Them being caught attempting to rifle through your laundry was the most red-handed way to catch them, there would be no denying it.

The lid is thrown open and you make direct eye contact with…

“Zoro?!”

The swordsman stumbled back in shock, “Shit! What the hell are you doing in there, (Y/N)?!”

“What am I doing?! What the fuck are you doing going through my laundry?!” You scrambled to get out of the basket so you could confront him in a more dignified manner. As soon as you were on your feet you got up in his face, “And more importantly, why have you been stealing my shit?”

To his credit, Zoro at least had the decency to look embarrassed. His face and ears were tinted red and he couldn’t look you in the eye. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, I haven’t stolen anything.”

“Oh, bullshit! My clothes have been going missing left and right, and now I’ve caught you trying to go through my laundry when you thought I was training. Cut the crap and stop lying.” You crossed your arms over your chest and glowered at the man in contempt. How could Zoro of all people do something like this? You felt disgusted. Betrayed, even.

He sighed and dragged his hand down his face. “Alright.” He mustered up the courage to look at you again and hardened his expression. “Maybe I borrowed a couple of things.”

You scoffed, “A couple? I barely have anything left to wear. And why, praytell, have you felt the need to steal my fucking underwear? Why would you possibly want to do that?” You laughed in disbelief, “That’s something that I thought only Sanji would do, but apparently you’re more of a pervert than even him.”

His eye twitched, “Do not compare me to that damn love cook, I’m nothing like him.”

“Yeah, like I said, even HE isn’t this bad. You know what? I’m done talking to you, I don’t even want to look at you right now. I’m going to go tell everyone what you’ve been doing and they can deal with your creepy ass.” You shove past him, no longer wanting to breathe the same air as him.

Before you can make it far, his hand wraps around your wrist and yanks you back. You try to break free but he’s locked onto you like an iron shackle. Zoro pushes you up against the wall, caging you in with his arms and pressing his chest against yours to keep you from squirming away. This is closer than you would have liked to be to him even before this awful reveal. Now it felt suffocating and intimidating.

“Do you want to know why I took what I did? It’s because I wanted to get something that reminded me of you. The problem is that everything reminds me of you.” Zoro ducked his head down, his mouth was right by your ear to ensure that you would hear every word, “I wanted something that smelled like you. Everything kept losing your scent, so I needed to get more.” To emphasize this need, he pressed his nose into your hair and took a deep breath.

You writhed and tried to push him away but he wouldn’t budge. As strong as you were, even you weren’t a match for the strength of Luffy’s right hand man. You were entirely at his mercy, and you had no idea when someone else would come in and be able to help you. If they even could.

[krirebr]

For Krismas - what would Steve have done in “What you can do for your country” if once reader found out whyyyy she was there she was totally into it?!?!?!

Ahahahahaha! I love this. Thank you!

Short answer: He'd be so annoyed.

Slightly longer answer:

(This has no title because the original title is from a JFK quote 😂 and I'm saving the rest of that quote for a hypothetical prequel I may write one day and I just couldn't make anything else work. I think it's fine, this is super short anyway.)

(This might be the most ridiculous thing I've ever written.)

Pairing: dark!Steve Rogers x f!reader

Warnings: references to noncon/dubcon, references to face slapping, references to kidnapping, explicit language, dacryphilia

Your cheek stings so badly and Steve’s looking at you with this combination of menace and authority and you just can’t hold it in any longer. “Ohhhh,” you moan, “yeah, please. Hurt me, daddy.”

He stops cold, “What?”

“Come on, please. I need it. Please. You’ll make it hurt so good. Please, I want it!”

He stands up, aghast. “You want it???”

You’re a little confused now, not seeing what the problem is here. Maybe he just wants you to beg more. “Yeah, I want it. Come on, please. Please. I’ll make it so good.” You realize maybe the ‘daddy’ was the problem. That’s fine. You’re flexible. So flexible. “Please, Captain.”

“What the fuck!” he yells, pacing to the other side of the closet. “Why are you trying to ruin this for me??” he whines. 

“I’m saying I’m cool with it! It sounds great. Really good plan!”

“Shut the fuck up! I need to fucking think.”

You do as you’re told (see?! You’re so perfect for this!), and watch as he moves back and forth in the small space. Finally, he stops, takes out his phone, presses a few buttons, and holds it up to his ear. After a couple of moments, he speaks. “Buck! I need your help.” 

A pause while the other person speaks. “Yeah, I’m with her right now.”

Whatever Buck has to say has him shaking his head vigorously. “No! She’s not reacting right at all!” 

“Yes! I hit her in the face and gave the whole speech and do you know what she said to me? She said, ‘Hurt me, daddy!’ What the fuck?!”

A longer pause this time, and then he puts his free hand on his hip and says “No, Bucky, this is not a blessing in disguise! She was supposed to be afraid! And cry! That was 80% of the appeal. Not whatever this is!”

He throws a hand in the air. “I’m not kink-shaming!”

He’s pacing again, running a hand through his hair compulsively. “Do you think–” he starts and stops and tries again. “Do you think they’d let me give her back? And maybe get me a new one? – I don’t know. That girl at the floral shop is cute and small. I saw a customer make her cry once. Real pretty tears,” he says with a bit of a groan.

You pout, still chained to the corner. Sonuvabitch, you almost had it made.

Join my Krismas Party!

Tag lists are open

@stargazingfangirl18@drabblewithfrannybarnes @thezombieprostitute @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @bval-1 @km-ffluv @texmexdarling @ladyvenera

[the-real-treasure]

Treasure Treasure!

An OPLA Sanji x Reader

Master List Here

Previous Chapter: Returning Tides of Home

Chapter Eight: Mon Cœur Est Un Petit Âne

Summary: In the aftermath of a violent duel, a head chef is forced into reusing long forgotten practices for healing with fish skin, and fish-men come claiming ownership of a ginger girl and a stolen map.

Trigger Warnings: Blood, knives, stab wounds, self-harm, self mutilation, scars, violence Word Count: 7,736 **Edited: 17/09/24**

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You sat at the small table in the kitchen with a blanket wrapped around your shoulders. Normally you were the last one up, having stayed up the latest to finish dishes and lay out plates for the next day. You had slept like garbage despite the comfort of being home, Zoro's words ringing in your ears and, when Sanji had woken up to prep for service that day, you had followed him down the stairs, bedraggled but desperate for the company. It was the only thing that had halted you from watching the duel, the rhythmic 'shwick' of the knife as he peeled vegetables.

You had already spent most of that morning in silence other then Sanji's movements, and you hadn't believed it would change any time soon until his voice piped up.

"Was he telling the truth, mon Cœur?" You look at him, "That Luffy boy. Are you, are you really going to go?" He doesn't move his eyes from the pile of carrot peelings he was creating. You stand and join him at the counter, taking a knife in shaking hands and begin to peel as well, albeit much slower and rougher then his nice smooth cuts.

"I thought I could help them. Him? I don't-" you blink sleep from your eyes again, "-I don't know if I can anymore, if he's even going to try." Your fingers are so stiff from holding his last night that you have to drop the knife and move the carrot around with your other hand, the rolling motion not happening for you. "Zoro is fighting that Warlord, Mihawk, this morning, and I made him so angry, and he might die and I just don't-"

Your words get caught in your throat and around your tongue, and you slur slightly as they all crash to a stop. Swallowing around them stings your throat and reminds you of sneaking sips of Zeff's good wine with Sanji at birthday parties when you were younger. You never did like the taste.

"I thought," you take slower this time, more deliberately, "that this could be our chance to go and look, just to try, but I've just messed everything up again," you dare to look up at Sanji and find he's already watching you, eyes gentle with sympathy. "I want to go." You state firmly, "But if you don't come, then I won't. I didn't mean to start an adventure without you, and I definitely won't be finishing it without you at my side."

The corner of his lips turn up and he leans down, leaving a sweet and gentle kiss to your forehead. You lean into his warmth mindlessly, like you always did. He pulls back and you open your eyes again.

"I know you wouldn't want to." He returns to his chopping, a smile back on his face, "But if you really want to go, I won't stop you. I'll miss you sure but I want you happy."

"I'm happiest with you." you answer, belief steadfast. He snorts a chuckle.

"I don't know about that, you and that Luffy boy seemed to get along great!" You miss the slight bitterness in his tone as you roll your eyes.

"First Zeff, now you, you're both ridiculous. He's my captain. Was. I dunno anymore, he's funny and silly. Smarter then he seems, but I'm sure you noticed that." You swallowed, humour dropping from your voice. "His dream was so solid, it felt like getting punched in the stomach or something. I-I wanted to keep that, that surety and I thought, maybe he could help us too." You look up at him shyly as he laughs.

"What a pair we make,” he plops the knife down on the cutting board, "the most ridiculous excuse for a pair, I have ever see."

"Oi."

"It's just us. You know, I can look after myself, I was gonna wait, we don't have to find the All Blue straight away. I was worried about you being comfortable. Happy." He shrugged as you gazed up at him "I was gonna save up, wasn't gonna let you be a dishwasher your whole life, and we were gonna go together, make sure Zeff was alright and then, I just- didn't really know when." His smile grew. "Trust us acting like this. Me thinking of you and you thinking of me."

"What other way to think is there for us?"

"What'd you think you're doing?" You both jump at the interruption, Zeff's voice ringing though the kitchen as he joins the pair of you.

"Chopping carrots, chef."

"Yeah, I can see that. But why are you doing it in my kitchen?" He limps up behind the pair of you, peering over your shoulders at your work. "I demoted you, remember?"

"That you did. But Patty's sleeping off a brutal hangover, so unless you wanna do brunch prep all by yourself..."

"Fine." Zeff begins his own prep, "You two made up then, I don't wanna see either of you moping about 'round here if yous haven't." Sanji throws him a glare, but he doesn't notice as he eyes the mauled lump of carrot in your hand. "And I'd appreciate it if you stopped mutilating my produce while you're at it."

You toss your head back with a laugh and abandon the lacerated vegetables. Zeff takes over your spot, sweeping the hunk of orange veg into the peel pile and began slicing mushrooms.

"Them carrots are cut too thick." You throw your hands in the air from your spot on the counter.

"You know I'm no help in the kitchen unless you want something burnt, chef."

"Not you, his." He snarks and Sanji gives him a dirty look in response. "And those eggs are too runny." Your best friend's eyes nearly rolled into his head.

"Give it a rest old man." Zeff ignores him, turning to you as he moves the tray of veggies, now oiled and seasoned, to sit above the oven.

"Where're the rest of your 'crew' this morning then? They haven't left you here, have they?" Sanji turns to watch the conversation, eyes curious as well. Yours shift to the ground.

"No, no they haven't left." The two blonde men are still watching you, "I, um. The swordsman, Zoro, he challenged a Warlord to a duel to become the greatest swordsman and I didn't think it would end well and told him as much..." You squeeze your lips together and your eyes burn. "I don't know if he'll survive, or if they'll want me on the crew even if he does."

"They'll be idiots not to." The gentle moment lasted for another second before, "And I can tell just by looking at that, that rémoulade needs a lot more oregano." You giggle as Sanji mouths along him mindlessly, throwing a smirk over his shoulder at you as he replies,

"Oregano is for savages." The growing argument fizzles out immediately as cries sounded from outside the kitchen as your captain comes barrelling in.

"HELP! HELP! Zoro- Zoro needs a doctor. He got into a fight with this warlord guy, but he lost." You shoot to your feet immediately, pulse pounding in your ears. "And now he's bleeding from everywhere-"

"Whoa, whoa. Slow down, chore boy. I can't understand a word you're saying."

"My friend is dying." Zeff eyes flick over to you, chest shaking as you force in deep breaths.

"Nearest doctor's on the Conomi Islands, it's a two-day sail from here."

"That's too long."

"Zeff," your voice is a whisper, "There has to be something, I can grab the first aid kit-"

"I can't help him." He rests a hand on your shoulder as your eyes go wide at him, "Hope your friend makes it." You grunt angrily as you shoot off to his office, grabbing the first aid kit and Sanji follows, pulling open the spice cabinet to hoke. "Where'd you think you're going?"

"To help their friend."

"Brunch is not gonna prep itself."

"You always told me to feed anyone who's hungry, I don't see how this is any different." Your hands are shaking so much that the kit spills open, tipping its contents over the floor as you gargle an angry yell at your useless extremities. Sanji crouches to help gather them back up as Zeff sighs behind you.

"Fine. Sanji, bring me my kitchen knives, Y/n, a bottle of our best whiskey. And a fresh yellowtail from the cooler. Bigger the better." You don't hesitate to follow his instructions, dashing off to the cooler as Sanji calls in confusion.

"A yellowtail?"

"Just do it already."

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Nami is holding a blood soaked cloth to the gaping slash across his chest when you all arrive, carting the basket of knives, alcohol and fish with you.

"Are you kidding? He needs a doctor." Zeff pulls the cloths of Zoro's chest and looks over the wound.

"Do you wanna save your swordsman friend or not?" They all watch as you place the basket on the counter to the side, Sanji pulling out the fish and rolling out the knives as Zeff uncorks the whiskey.

"Is that to sterilize the wounds?" Usopp asks shakily.

"Hell no. That'd be a waste of really good liquor." He takes a swig and his mind falls to the last time he did something like this.

Zeff stares down at you, the littler one of two little kids he had found himself responsible for after that last disastrous raid of the Cook Pirates. You sat now, two years off that bloody rock, hand flat on the counter top as you score at it -for once unbandaged- with blood pouring down the wrist of the hand that was clenched around the handle of his good knives.  Its the God damn boning knife too, the blade red streaked and bloody as it quivers in your grip.

He didn't know it now, but it wasn't from fear, that shaking. Long after the skin had healed as best it could, the shaking remained, your cuts so deep and so plentiful that they had done a number on the nerves in the fingers and palms.

For now though, for now he shouts and you drop the knife, which hits the counter with a vibrating 'twang' before skittering across the floor. You stand, dead still and eyes squeezed shut as he rushes you, ready for yelling, or perhaps a strike.

You weren't expecting him to take your elevated wrist, turning the hand over and inspecting the gouges for himself.

"Beautiful." Zeff strokes along the side of the fish before getting to work. First he removes the head in a swift chop, before filleting it, peeling meat and skin away from the bone. With precision, he scores out small cuts of the skin, laying them flat across a metal pan.

"Needle."

He swears under his breath as he pulls the thread tight, pulling your skin together before tying it off and snipping it close to the knot. You didn't move, didn't make a peep. He squints up at your blank face and mutters an apology for any pain.

"It's fine." You reply, your voice a whisper, "I can't feel anything."

Your reassurance does nothing but worry him more, a lack of feeling not being good sign if you were recover movement in your hands.

"What were you thinking." His question doesn't feel like one. "You can barely get your head round stirring a pot, what made you think grabbing a knife wouldn't end this badly." He stands, grabbing a tray of fish skin he had for some reason been meticulous when cutting.

He's making it sound like-

"-it wasn't an acciden-"

"I don't want to hear that." He slams the tray down on his desk beside you, metal and wood rattling against the force. "You," he points right into your face, "are never gonna do something like this again. Not in here, not under my roof." Gently lifting the thin stripes of fish off the tray, he lays it flat on your skin, crossing over the sutures he had just finished. "You feel like doing something like this again, or worse, you don't. You come and you find me, or Patty or Sanji. You do not sneak into the kitchen and steal my knives. You never do something like this to yourself again. You understand?" You refuse to meet his eyes, staring at the '66' and the scored out '3' that had mocked you for years. "Oi!" he snapped in front of your face, "You hear me?" Your eyes still avoid his.

"What's the fish for."

"It's an old seaman's trick. The fish skin helps staunch the wounds and heals the flesh a lot faster." Usopp peers over his crewmates' shoulders.

"Is he gonna be okay?"

"Look, I'm not gonna lie to you. He's lost a lot of blood. It might be too late for him."

"But it might not be." Luffy's eyes don't lift from Zoro's face.

"He's got one foot in each world right now, caught between life and death. You have to find a way to keep him tethered to our world. Talk to him, tell him stories. Sing him sea shanties for all I care." The crew move him carefully to one of the hanging bunks, gently laying him down on the swaying wood. "He may not reply, but at least he'll know his crew are still with him."

As you move to head back into the galley, Nami rounds on you.

"Where were you?" Her voice was tight and accusatory. "We were all there this morning, except for you." You swallowed thickly.

"He told me not to come."

"What? When?"

"Last night, I-" you ducked your head down between your shoulders. "-I had gone to speak to him, to try and convince him to stop again. It didn't go well," Your eyes dance across Zoro's still body. "He told me to got back to Baratie and to not come to the duel." Your fingers wring together, "I don't blame him, we were, very harsh to one another." Nami scoffed.

"You shouldn't have listened, you should've been there. With us."

"I know."

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"Mmm, something smells delicious." Usopp follows the scent wafting from the galley to find Luffy cleaning the Wado Ichimonji on the bench and you watching Sanji as he steamed rice and prepared fillings for more onigiri, some already sitting freshly prepared on the side.

"I just thought everyone'd be hungry, man. I know they" he gestures to you, "didn't eat last night, and there's plenty we didn't use. Never waste food."

"Cool." Usopp pinches one of the prepared ones that had been left for Luffy and bites off a small mouthful. Sanji looks over at the straw hat.

"What's the matter? Don't like fish?" He finally looks up from the sword.

"I love fish. I just need to get Zoro's sword ready for him. You know, for when he wakes up." Sanji and Usopp eye each other as he speaks.

"He's uh," Usopp wipes his face, "pretty badly hurt, man. There's an itty-bitty chance he might not wake up." Luffy continues wiping down the sword with a grin.

"Zoro's the strongest fighter I know. No way he's gonna let some warlord guy beat him."

"Well," Sanji speaks up as he moulds the rice in his hands, "you've gotta eat. Come on, if you don't want the fish, I got two-inch T-bones in the kitchen. Or, uh, maybe you're in the mood for saffron risotto?"

"His risotto's real good Luff, you should give it a try." You call from your spot beside your Sanji.

"I normally would get both, but I really gotta get the Waddy Itchy Monkey ready for him." You blink, long and slow, as Luffy's words swirl around in your brain.

"The what?"

"His sword. It's got a name." You face falls to your hands and you sigh.

"Oh."

"Luffy, it's Wado Ichimonji. Wah-do, Ichi-mon-ji." You sound out the words from behind your hands. Sanji eyes flick to you, before going back to the boy with the straw hat.

"Why?"

"I don't know. He said it was kind of special. Hey, Sanji, can you cook Zoro's favourite food?"

"Sure. What does he like?"

"Alcohol." Your voice is muffled beside him and he chuckles, eyes still focused on Luffy.

"He really likes rice balls." Sanji mumbles an 'm-hm' gesturing what was already in his hands but nodding along. "And beer, yeah. What about rice balls soaked in beer? Can you make that?" Sanji laughs and answers.

"I can make anything. Just tell me what you want."

"I want him to eat so that he gets back his strength. But I also want him to sleep so that his wounds can heal. Or maybe...maybe he just needs some water. Right? After all of that fighting, he must be awfully thirsty." He chuckles breathily, not really paying attention to their reaction to his suggestions. "But, you know, he's probably also tired, so...so yeah, we should just let him rest."

Sanji leans heavily on the counter, looking at Luffy seriously.

"Being a captain, it's the toughest job in the world, okay? Zeff once told me that making decisions is what separates a captain from the rest of his crew. And he was one of the best pirate captains that ever sailed the seas."

"Zeff was a pirate?" Luffy asked excitedly.

"Yeah. Captain of the dreaded Cook Pirates. They used to call him 'Red Leg Zeff,' 'cause his boots were always stained with the blood of his enemies."

"How'd you all meet? Were you on his crew or something?"

"Not exactly."

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By the time Sanji had finished recounting your shipwreck and stranding on that barren, inhospitable rock. You had perched yourself on the window ledge beside Zoro's almost completely unmoving body, eyes focused on the slow rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. It brought little comfort as both of your words from last night echoed through your head.

"I'm sorry Zoro." Your voice was a whisper in the still room, "I know I'm not much use if my whole power is based around guiding people to achieve their dreams and I'm telling you to stop, but I was just...scared."

Your eyes trail across his bandaged chest and your lip wobbles "Don't tell anyone but I'm a huge coward. I'm indecisive and have no idea what I want to do. I hate being like this, being afraid of consequences of actions I never take because I'm terrified of failing, but I just," you swallow back the tears desperately, "so much of the world is filled with such desperate hope. Such yearning want for something, for anything, and its all pointing in all sorts of different directions its hard not to feel empty in comparison when the people around me have something to strive for. You scared me Zoro. When we were in the galley, I thought it was because you were so so sure this was the next step to achieving your dream, but the more I felt it, and then last night again, I knew that it wasn't right. It wasn't pointing at Mihawk, not yet."

You stand, leaning over the silent man and whisper, "You need to wake up Zoro. That dream of yours is still screaming inside you I can feel it! Please don't give up on it, hang on."

With that, you leave, passing Luffy as he walks in to take his turn watching over and speaking to Zoro.

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"LUFFY! LUFFY!" Nami dashes into the galley, voice ringing through the entire ship. You and Sanji turn to her as the other boys return from Zoro's room. "The Arlong Pirates are at Baratie. We have to leave now."

"The who?" You query, sitting on the island perched beside Sanji's leaning figure, coat left abandoned in your room and tattoos exposed.

"What? Why? Why should we leave?"

"Because they're looking for you."

"Me?" Luffy asks incredulously pointing to himself.

"And the map." She turns to appeal to you and Sanji, "Those fishmen will tear this place apart if Zeff doesn't turn him over." You and Sanji spring into action, moving past the boys and sweeping out the door.

"Where are you going?"

"If Baratie's in danger, we need to be there."

"I'm coming with you."

Nami calls after him desperately. "Did you not hear what I just said? They are hunting you, we need to run."

"I'm with Nami on this one," Usopp joins in, "I'm really not trying to ruffle any feathers or scales-"

"I'm not running. We're going to protect this place."

"This isn't your fight, why would you that?"

"You fed us." Luffy and Sanji smirk at each other as Nami turns to you imploringly.

"Y/n, please, talk some sense into them, I know this crew, their captain, Arlong, has the highest bounty in all of the East Blue!"

(An orange haired woman and an orange haired girl are surrounded by trees in an orange grove)

"This is my home, Nami, they're my," Your gaze flashes to Sanji, "our people, our family. We have to protect them, we have to do something." You make eye contact with her and hold it.

(A windmill made from an orange peel.)

"You understand that?"

(A grave stone.)

"Don't you?"

(A dark room, filled only with maps and chain shackled to the floor. A little girl sits alone.)

Her eyes are wide as her eyes follow your arm, raised and pointing to the horizon out the window as your eyes swirl their colours together.

(The little girl stands, now a woman, with a blue-haired woman at her side, and a town free from a tyrant in scales.)

Her lips quiver as she answers shakily.

"You do not want to mess with him."

"It sounds like he messed with us first."

"Luffy please." She moves closer, but still is separated from the rest of you by the galley's counters. "Please."

"I can't let innocent people get hurt because of me. If those fishmen guys want a fight, we're gonna give them one." You and Sanji nod to him. He turns back to Nami and walks over to where she stands, silently fuming. "You stay with the ship and protect the map. Hmm? It's gonna be safe with you." He slaps her gently on the shoulder before you all make your exit.

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Following your captain as he slams open the doors, he moves to the railing overlooking the dining room. Lunch service is in full swing, the large room chock full of people. He leans over and calls,

"Which one of you is Arlong?" A deep voice belonging to a purple fishman with a long, spiked nose answers.

"Who is asking?"

"I'm Monkey D. Luffy. I hear you're looking for me." Arlong releases his hold of the customer and looks up at you all as you begin walking down the stairs. Sanji brings up the rear as you and Usopp followed behind Luffy, with you closer to the banister as Usopp kited the wall.

"Why, yes I am. So this is the pirate I've heard so much about? You know I was expecting someone... bigger." Luffy smiles.

"So was I." Arlong snarls up at him.

"Do you know who I am boy? I'm Arlong the Saw. Even the Marines flee before my flag." Luffy shook his head as you moved closer to Sanji, subconsciously acting as a barrier between him and the threat before you.

"Not ringing a bell. How'd you find me anyway?" Arlong smirks.

"An old friend helped me track you down." He clicks him tongue and one of the three other fishmen sat at one of the tables flips open a bag pulling free the decapitated head of Buggy.

Of course its the goddamn clown.

"Heya, Straw Hat! Did you miss me?"

"No." Your voice couldn't have been more monotone if you'd tried.

"Burpy?! What are you doing here?" Now is not the time to laugh, but you struggled not to.

"Believe me, it wasn't my first choice either. But these fine fishy folk persuaded me to point them in the right direction, which ain't easy when you don't have any hands." He chuckle to himself as you roll your eyes.

"How'd you even know how to find me?"

"I told you. I've got eyes and ears everywhere." There's a squishy squirming noise as a disembodied ear wiggles its way out of the band of Luffy's hat. The sight makes you gag as it flies back over to the clown's head as he cackles to himself. "AHA! Stereo!"

"You were listening all along? You heard everything?" Buggy nods as best he can while only a head.

"Everything. And that god old quick, 'cause you shidiots have no idea what you're doing. Hey Lips!" He hollers at the fishman sitting behind him, "How 'bout a scratch behind the old ear, huh?"

"Sorry honey"

"Oh, come on! Give a clown a break. I--" He places down the bottle he was holding and grabs atop of Buggy's head. "Oh wait! No, not back in the bag, it's so dark and wet and sandy!"

"Listen here." Arlong's voice is smooth in the silence, "I want my map, along with half of whatever you plunder as tribute. And if you bow down to me, I might even let you serve in my kingdom." Luffy's face was set in a glare hard as stone.

"I don't bow down to any man."

"I'm no man."

"Or fish." Arlong growls. "And you're no king."

"I will be when I get my Grand Line map." Luffy's serious face cracked into a smile.

"Then," he replaces his hat on his head. "You're gonna have to fight me for it."

"Then let the fighting begin." As he moves to step forward, a shot rings out and a bullet clinks to the floor between his feet.

Holding the smoking gun, Zeff glares down the barrel as Arlong turns on him. With a growl, the other seated fishman stands and smashes through Zeff's peg leg, before standing to full height and punching Zeff back through one of the tables.

As plates and glasses crash to the floor, Sanji and your voices ring out in unison.

"ZEFF!" Sanji sprints down the stairs while you bolt over the railing, running at the fishmen's table. With a swift kick, Sanji sends the one with Buggy's head flying, and he lands on the table, glaring at the one who attacked Zeff.

You instead square up to the fourth fishman, standing between him and Sanji as he stands to full height, towering over you in a combination of spackled brown and orange scales and a yellow shirt, with a long barbed tail and a wide and flat face.

While Sanji advances on the paler grey fishman, kicking and whirling around him, your chains drop from your arms, the shucking weight catching in your upturned hands as you begin your attacks, swinging the thick heavy metal at his head in an X shape before making a series of quick whipping attacks to his chest, pushing him away from the table and from Zeff, who stares at you in bewilderment. 

With a leaping kick, Sanji aims for the head of his opponent, just as yours catches hold of the spinning chains. Sanji's fishman reels back, punching him in the stomach and sending him soaring through the air only to crash into and overturn one of the tables, revealing Usopp hiding underneath. Your opponent, on the other hand, kept hold of your chains and began to spin. Pulling you off your feet with no effort, he spins and spins and spins, forcing you around and around in tighter and tighter before releasing you like a hammer in a hammer throw, sending you careening into the wall above the stairs, knocking a hole into it as you crash to the steps, rolling down them as debris cascades down around you. Usopp crawls up along side you, pushing you right side up as Sanji joins the pair of you. With a roar, Luffy swings at Arlong.

"GUM GUM PISTOL!" Though he had wound it up, Arlong catches his wrist with little trouble, ripping him off his feet and pulling him into the fishman's torso. Holding the boy by the shoulders, Arlong hurls him into one of the pillars holding up the upper floor, and he falls to the ground limp and groaning.

"Get up!" Arlong snarls. Luffy hops up, growling as he swings at Arlong, once, twice, three times, juddering him back a step each time. Arlong only chuckles. "Not bad for a human." You and Usopp haul Sanji's half-limp form up another stair. Luffy yells and strikes out again at Arlong, but he catches both of Luffy's fists and squeezes, pulling back towards himself as the length of his rubber arms diminish and force him face to face with the fishman.

"Uh...?"

"Oooh, big mistake." Arlong muses happily. "Now I'm gonna have to make an example out of you."

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You and Usopp scrabble down the dock to help Sanji haul Luffy out of the water, your arms weighing down as the sea water laps at them. You push past the wave of fatigue as you heave your captain's body up on to the wood, limp and heavy like it was weighed down with concrete.

As the boy gags and coughs up salt water, your eyes skitter across to Sanji, his strong pale chest now dripping wet. His eyes were focused on Luffy, so he missed the way your eyes glazed and your cheeks warmed as you followed the trickling path of a water droplet as it flows down the smooth contours of his sculpted chest.

Usopp does though, watching you watch him, before your aqua and gold eyes dart away to meet dark smirking ones. Luffy interrupts, lifting his head weakly with another hack and asks,

"Where's Nami?" The smirk on Usopp's face falls and you bite your lip between your teeth, sharp canines digging into the skin.

"She's gone Luffy." Your voice is quiet even to your own ears. Usopp continues.

"She's a member of Arlong's crew." His head drops back to the wood. You all look at each other as he remains quivering on the dock.

"No. She can't be."

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You and Sanji return to the wrecked dining hall as Zeff drops into a chair, all of you surveying the damage done. Sanji moves past Zeff without a word, lifting a broom and starting to sweep as you begin to right fallen tables and chairs, moving unsalvageable ones to a pile in the centre. Zeff's eyes close with a sigh.

"I don't need you to do that."

"We've got a full house tomorrow. Two dinner seatings, plus brunch." Sanji props the broom against the centre piece of the dining room, moving to clear some larger debris from the floor.

"Enough! I don't wanna hear this."

"What is your problem?"

"Me?" Zeff scowls incredulously at Sanji's question. "I'm fine, you're the one with the problem." He begins to rise from his chair.

"Zeff just stay there." Your voice is quiet behind him, but as always, both blondes ignore your tired tone and continue the argument instead.

"I'm just helping you clean up."

"Yeah, but no one asked you to, did they? So get out of my restaurant now." Sanji whirled on him.

"I told you I'm not gonna be a waiter."

"You're not gonna be anything, not if you stay here."

"Zeff..." Your tone turns from tired to warning, volume rising slightly but still they turn a blind eye. 

 "I did not save your lives so you could waste them at Baratie."

"It's not like we can just leave."

"Why the hell not? The little donkey is, to follow your dream, for you." Sanji's face curls as Zeff waves the hand not propping him up on a crutch at you.

"Because you couldn't run this place without me."

"Oh, please, little eggplant, your cooking is for shit."

"At least I don't drown everything in oregano."

"Yeah, at least I'm no the one who goes on moaning about the All Blue, only for the perfect opportunity to be hand-delivered to your ungrateful lap, to just turn your nose up at it." Sanji stills from stacking the mess of plates, glaring down at the stained table cloth. You slide up beside him and run your knuckles down his forearm.

"Sanji?" Your voice is low and soft, and his glare drops, large damp eyes turning to you. "We've been talking about going after it for forever and a day. We both want to find it, so let's. Zeff can manage things here, he has Patty and Akito and all the rest." You curl your fingers into his sleeve, tugging it towards you as you look up at him. "We can go with Luffy and Zoro and Usopp in the Merry, go rescue Nami and head for the Grand Line. It has to be there, we can finally find it for ourselves."

Your whispering only grows more and more excited as you go, eyes lighting up and swirling together as you beam up at him. Sanji turns a reluctant gaze on the man who had looked after and protected you both for the last nine years, only to find a stubborn glare in place on his face.

"If it means that much to you, go find it." He snarks bitterly. Sanji lifts the tray of crockery and spins away from you.

"Do you want us to quit? Is that what you want?"

"Quitting is staying here, it's giving up before you've even started looking!" His voice ricocheted off the tall walls and high ceilings as he blared at the younger man. "It's letting down the one person," his eyes flick to your figure, once again hiding in the shadow of your Sanji, "who has stood by and supported you every single moment. Don't you get it? It's one thing to have a dream. It's another to go after it."

Sanji steps back, falling in line with you as he stares Zeff down.

"Chore boy offered me a spot on his crew alongside Y/n." Your ears prick up and your figure straightens, "Maybe I'll take him up on that offer." He takes a grip of your arm, dropping the tray onto the table behind you both as he turns from Zeff.

"You want my permission, you've got it." With an angry kick to one of the knocked down chairs, Sanji pulls you into the back of house, screaming over his shoulder.

"FINE!"

"FINE!"

With quick steps and angry breaths raging through his chest, Sanji pulls you with him as you take the stairs up to the staff quarters two-at-a-time.

He throws open the door to your room, grabbing a duffle bag before starting to throw things from the small shared closet in, extra shirts and suit trousers, socks and underwear and his chef knife set, huffing and puffing the whole time.

You move much slower, lifting your coat from the hook, and gently tossing a few spare undershirts and overshirts, tank tops and small clothes, and a few pairs of your long, baggy, big-pocketed trousers going in as well. From under your bed you pull the dusty and decrepit wooden box that housed your sewing and embroidery kit.

A gift from Zeff to try and help work on the unwavering shake in your hands, it became a hobby you had invested huge amounts of your time to, most of your clothing bearing colourful thread designs or whirling swirling patterns. Your trouser pockets are emblazoned with scattered fish amongst rippling waves. You have a waistcoat -one you throw into your bag after a moment of consideration- that is spackled with vibrant flowers across the still waters of the turquoise fabric. Sanji and Zeff and Patty and Akito and Carne and all the other chefs have pocket squares and hankies and towels and shirts and skirts littered with designs of all shapes and sizes.

A small smile grows across your face and you tuck it away in the folds of your cloths, and tuck a few extra miscellaneous bits and pieces into the bag around it. You turn to watch Sanji for a moment.

"I'm going to go down." Your voice shakes him from his muttering reverie, and he looks at you. "I want to check on Luffy and Zoro, and make sure Usopp hasn't set the ship ablaze." He snorts.

"Mon cœur, of all the people in that little crew of yours, it isn't Usopp I'm worried about starting a fire." You scrunch your nose up at his quiet chuckles.

"That's because you don't know him yet." His chuckling dies down and he gazes up at you, eyes soft and gentle for you. "I'm going to say goodbye to Zeff as well." His eyes drop to the carpet and glaze over slightly. "If you want to join me...?"

"Not yet, mon cœur." His voice is hushed and tight. You don't push him. "Maybe later."

"Course, Sanji. I'll see you soon, okay? Don't take to long."

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You find Zeff exactly where you expect, hunched over his desk in the office at the back of the empty kitchen. He's pouring over papers, shoulders and moustache braids sagging. He looks over his shoulder with the sound of creaking hinges, watching as you let it hang open, the unusually silent and cold kitchen casting a gloomy atmosphere throw the little dark room.

"What'd you want? I'm busy." He turns away again, lifting and shuffling papers as you let the bag drop in the doorway. You take your seat beside him, stool still so low you have to bend your legs up to your chest to sit comfortably.

"Thought you deserved a proper goodbye, given I know I won't be back for a while this time." His body stills it's shuffling, fingers creasing the paper as his grip tightens. "I want to thank you Zeff. For looking after us, and taking us with you. Making sure we were looked after, even if you were a bit of a brute about it at times." He snorts at you, but doesn't look over. "You have no idea how good it was, to have somewhere where we were safe, where Sanji was safe, and we didn't have to fight just to-" your voice caught, "-just to live, ya know? We owe you a whole lot and I don't know when, or if, we'll be able to repay you." You trail off into silence, joining the head chef in quietude for a moment.

"Repay me," his voice breaks the still moment between you, "by staying safe. And staying good. Even if you become the fiercest pirates the sea has ever seen," his gaze drifts to you, "you keep good. Don't go starting trouble, especially if it's already looking for you." A small smile graces your face.

"I'll try. Can't promise, with this new captain of ours, but I'll try." His large hand, big enough to almost ingulf your face, drops on to your head and scratches at your scalp a moment.

"That's all I ask."

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You've just arrived on the deck of the Going Merry when you hear your captain screaming his first mate's name. You join Usopp, who had greeted you upon arriving, in dashing down through the tight passages to make it to the newly conscious man.

"Zoro!" You both cry out with relief when you seem him, eyes open and fist to Luffy's chest. Usopp pulls back, trying to hide his over excited reaction and finishes cooly, "I wasn't worried for a second."

"Shut up, Zoro-" you point at the man's face and he raises an eyebrow at your finger, "- you are never allowed to nearly die in a duel again. Not ever, especially not if we're so far from any medical help!"

"Noted." His voice is monotone, but a small smirk curves along his lips. Luffy thrusts his hand into the air, yanking the man into a painful position as he screams in joy.

"HE'S ALIVE!!" Luffy drops his arm gingerly as he groans in pain before Usopp starts up again.

"And I told 'em. I said 'You'd better not mess with the Straw Hats!'"

"Ya!" You all watch as Usopp mimes and mimics the noises of an intense fight.

"Sent 'em swimming for their lives."

"You scared 'em off, huh?" Usopp agrees instantly. "The Great Captain Usopp."

"So, what do we do now? Plot a course for the Grand Line?" You purse your lips.

"How?" All three look at you. "We don't have our navigator." Usopp blinks at you.

"But I thought we were going after the One Piece?"

"We are," Luffy assures, "but we can't do it without our whole crew. First..." He pulls the hat from around his neck and plops it on his head, adjusting the straps at his chin, "we're going after Nami."

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You are checking off the list of inventory as Usopp carried yet another barrel up on to the deck.

"Lot of dried meat in these barrells." It thumps down beside three others laden with jerky, and several crates of the juices of lemons and limes, "you think we brought too much?" Zoro peers up at your captain as he clambers ungracefully about the rigging.

"You know who you're sailing with?"

"Yeah."

"Mmm."

"Heard you guys need a cook." All heads spin towards the dock below, where a grinning Sanji stands, looking up at you all with his duffel bag over his shoulder. You let out a squeal so high that both Zoro and Usopp wince as you run to greet him, and Luffy cheers from his spot dangling above you.

"YEAH! Yes we do!" Luffy's cheer roars out as he begins to clamber down and you throw your arms around Sanji, squeezing him tightly as he laughs.

"I'm so glad you came." You're whispering, but he can hear you just fine as he squeezes back, only releasing his grip as Luffy appears by you both. The captain's hand claps his shoulder as he beams.

"Welcome aboard." As you follow Sanji further on to the deck, Zoro peers at the pair of you.

"Why are we bringing the waiter?"

Usopp answers easily. "Because we can't boil water."

"Not without starting a fire anyway!" You chime in merrily, clinging loyaly to Sanji's side once more.

You watch as Luffy and Usopp work to drop the sail, flicking at the ropes and tying them in messy knots. You shake your head, leaving them too it as Luffy releases the jib sail and takes ahold of the rudder, and you join your Sanji atop the sterncastle facing Baratie as the men on dock cast you away. The Merry begins to part from Baratie and you spot Zeff, Patty and the rest of the cooks watching as you start to sail away. You lean just to the left of the still broken rail and Sanji stands a step behind you. He begind to walk back to the main deck as Zeff yells up to him, your goodbyes already complete even as your eyes begin to water.

"HEY SANJI!" He turns immediately, joining you against the rail. "You keep your feet dry."

"Goodbye Zeff." His throat catches in his throat and he doesn't even manage to pull away completely before turning back again. "You know, all these years, living under your shitty roof, cooking at your shitty restaurant..." His eyes turn redder and redder as tears gather in his waterline and you take his hand, nails digging into your skin as he speaks. "I owe you my life! Thank you for putting up with my shit all these years, old man." A tear runs down his face and you wipe at it as gently as you can, your own eyes stinging as his lip quivers. "I'll never forget you, Zeff!"

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"Sooo..." Sanji is running his hand over the varnished grain on the railings as you lean with your cheek smashed against his arm. You blink an eye up at him, but don't move. "When did you work out that whole," he runs a fingertip along the tattoos etched into your skin, "chain situation then?" You breath deeply, repositioning your head to lean your chin on him instead.

"You saw my bounty poster, yea?"

"Yea love."

"Round about then. I..." you pull at your fingers and turn your eyes away. "...Might be from an island called Gaka. In the Grand Line." His eyes don't waver from your face. "There was a man in Syrup Village who had the same tattoos. I'm assuming he was from the island himself." You run your nails along the grooves in your skin. "He was able to drop the chains out of his arms and even control how they coiled and moved from a distance. It was, mostly, instinct." Your voice, already low, dropped even lower as you continued. "He was going to kill me and I didn't want to, so I struck back."

"He dead?" You blink and look up at him. His eyebrows are creased down and he's frowning at a small indent in the wood.

"What?"

"Is he dead? He hurt you, tried to kill you, is he dead?" Your teeth worry at your bottom lip as you look up at him.

"Yes." The crease on his brow eased slightly and he took your hand in his.

"Good."

A moment later, Usopp moves past Zoro to the main deck, calling to Luffy past the pair of you.

"So, we're... we're going after Nami, but how're we gonna find her?"

"Yeah, we don't even know where she is."

"Somewhere... with orange trees..." The words are mumbled, your face now buried back into Sanji's shoulder one deck below Luffy.

"I know someone who does."

You all join him below deck as he pushes a bag down around the disembodied head of a blue-haired clown. Luffy stands next to the table looking proud of himself as Sanji and Usopp watch on in horror and morbid curiosity. You and Zoro look at each, already done with the situation.

"Hello boys!" You duck your head closer to the green haired swordsman and he moves his own in closer.

"I vote we get the location and then throw him overboard." You don't see Sanji glaring at the other man's proximity to you.

"Agreed."

Next Chapter: Treasure Troves in Orange Groves

[saintofdaggers]

movie recs for Saw fans

Saw is a really unique franchise, for better or for worse, so finding movies with a similar aesthetic, theme or storytelling style is hard unless you're willing to dig into the really cheap ripoffs. well, I've been collecting movies that kind of helped the Saw craving, and here's my totally subjective rec list you can use as a reference point if you want to

The Collector and The Collection by Marcus Dunstan: these were written and directed by the guys who wrote Saw IV and beyond, so you're in good (?) hands here. the visuals and traps are distinctly Saw, and the second movie is giving Saw 3D if that movie drank a bunch of Red Bulls. make of that sentence what you will

Hard by John Huckert: an obscure thriller where a closeted detective has a cat and mouse pursuit with a serial killer targeting young gay men. very grimy, unflinchingly bleak and nihilistic. WARNING: this movie goes to some extremely unpleasant and upsetting places, so watch at your own risk

Pig by Rozz Williams: an art house short film where a guy in a pig mask tortures a young man in a desert. and that's it. this is pretty dreamlike and surreal and doesn't have much narrative substance, but I find it interesting to contemplate and it made me flinch more than a few times

Mindhunters: a bunch of FBI profilers in training get trapped on an empty island with a serial killer. this movie is completely ridiculous, but it gets pretty fun once the hilariously elaborate cartoon deaths start happening

X-Cross: Japanese action horror that's basically Fatal Frame doing Saw. weird editing, nonlinear storytelling, cool women, very ugly color grading. also a leg-cutting murder cult. hell yeah

Se7en by David Fincher: investigation, obsession, a dark urban environment, a serial killer with a weird method. it's considered a classic for a reason

the Broken short film by Nine Inch Nails: this is a music video that feels like a snuff film. it's disgusting, brutal, made me feel gross, and I gave it 5 stars on Letterboxd

Cure by Kiyoshi Kurosawa: think Se7en, but even colder and more mysterious.

Haze by Shinya Tsukamoto: this is one of the most claustrophobic things ever put to film. has some completely unbearable sound effects, but it's Shinya Tsukamoto, so that's kind of a given

Like Minds: an unhinged weird thriller about a psychologist trying to untangle the mystery of a high school boy's murder. very homoerotic, very weirdly structured and not exactly well-written, but the unreliable narrator gives a lot of food for thought

The Vanishing (Spoorloos): a man gets obsessed with finding his girlfriend, who disappeared mysteriously on a trip. this is one of the most chilling movies I've ever seen, with a genuinely terrifying character and an ending that took me days to get over

Cube: a bunch of strangers get mysteriously stuck in a labyrinthine structure full of lethal traps. it really gives Saw II but with a nice little sci-fi twist

Hostel and Hostel Part II: as an Eastern European, I fucking loathe Hostel and think it's very ignorant and xenophobic. however, the comparisons to Saw are pretty much inevitable, so watch it if you want and form your own conclusions (I haven't seen the second one, but I've heard it's quite good if you're into this vibe)

feel free to add your own recs to this post!

[lacecap]

vocaloid 2023

my whole youtube playlist, including numerous songs not listed, can be found here!

as per tradition, here are some of my personal fav songs from 2023 :-) standouts are definitely kyoufuu all back girl by yukopi & hito mania by sasuke haraguchi, not sure if i've seen any other vocaloid songs reach these levels of virality as instantaneously since goodbye sengen!

listing has my favorites towards the top (but the ranking isnt that strict), bolded are my super favorites, & some extra ramblings will be appended at the very end. smiles

2023 standouts :-)

first, my no. 1 top song:

none other than the viral & wonderfully bizarre hito mania by sasuke haraguchi :-) !! its not often that a song as popular as this takes my number one slot! haraguchi has this talent for making sounds that should not ever be used in a song just... work. its so ridiculously catchy that i havent tired of it at all, even with the truly Massive influx of covers/remixes/mads/memes made since. its charm is precisely in just how eccentric, bizzare, and most importantly new it is. its something really fresh to the scene & im looking forward to more of haraguchi's vocalsynth stuff in the future!!

and with that stated, on with the listing!

the awesomeness begins

here are some of my favorite songs out of the more mainstream, or rather more-likely-to-be-recognized, bunch:

(x) | akotoba by sasuke haraguchi ft. miku

i have a dedicated bullet point describing my love for this song at the very bottom of this post LOL

(x) | babel by iyowa ft. teto

(x) | unpoison by sodeno arawa ft. miku

probably the most potent earworm on this list to me

(x) | actress by iyowa ft. hanakuma chifuyu

(x) | anta ni akkanbe by hifumi ft. miku

(x) | shinjinrui by marasy, jin, and kemu ft. rin

(x) | for dear life by niru kajitsu ft. flower

(x) | neruna spooky by picdo ft. adachi rei

(x) | fantasia by sasakure.uk & uk rampage ft. miku

(x) | girl a remix by nekobolo ft. rin

(x) | od by akagami de wa nai ft. kaai yuki & miku

why are you only a minute long stop doing that to your songs you are killing them...

(x) | √ (roots) by minato ft. xingchen

(x) | bouquet garni by niru kajitsu ft. flower

(x) | the exit 8 by eo ft. rin

(x) | a mysterious call by r-906 ft. rose & popy

(x) | tiny me by masarada ft. teto

(x) | voidroid by r-906 ft. haru, miku, & una

(x) | warning time by youman ft. gumi <- tuninggg

(x) | x.e.n.o by sasakure.uk ft. miku & kaito

(x) | hoiyoho by yukuewat ft. kochie, anna nyui, and mine laru

(x) | (not) a devil by deco & pino-p ft. miku

(x) | do not solve me by frog96 ft. rime

(x) | a drowned body wants to be lovey-dovey by lonepi ft. miku

(x) | passing gazes, overlapping words by frog96 ft. teto

(x) | chilly by yomitan akane ft. teto

(x) | idiotic communication by isonosuke ft. chis-a

this song is like hito mania's beautiful estranged cousin or perhaps sibling to me

(x) | rarehen wa by wanopo ft. rin & len

(x) | self proclaimed angel by kat ft. tsurumaki maki

(x) | ime-chan wants to become a guitar hero by ime44 ft. yuki

(x) | denki youho by inabakumori ft. miku

(x) | honto no by sasuke haraguchi ft. teto

kind of a genius response song to hito mania's immense popularity imo

(x) | frog phenomenon by adeliae ft. kaai yuki

(x) | hito mania remix by camelots ft. teto

you know the remix is good when they sample crazy frog

hidden gem/underrated section

now thisss. is where the really good stuff is hiding.

note: this may include songs that are decently popular but whose producers are less so; or the inverse i.e. producers who are popular but with overlooked songs (meaning this is very subjective!)

(x) | A⇌あ⇌A by subesakuhin ft. mine laru

an english original subeana styled song! geuninely so obsessed with these lyrics

(x) | chef's kimagure rock by inuha ft. miku

(x) | hanashi kawaru kedo by inuha ft. miku

inuha has such a charming way of playing with tempo in their songs; this one in particular has very surprisingly sweet lyrics

(x) | lethe by aliey:s ft. miku

(x) | tapir by saeki tatsuki ft. miku

ohhhh. ohhhh. i will cry. i will

(x) | sunk cost by aliey:s ft. flower

(x) | keep your headaches by ryo iogi ft. teto

(x) | potentially avant-garde girl by yumameane ft. teto

(x) | nothingness by liru jinzhi ft. kaai yuki & shian

(x) | my speakers broke by asanuko ft otomachi una, len, & miku

song of the summer

(x) | lies and the future by uwabe ft. adachi rei

(x) | 奴隷 by atokata ft. nene nene

(x) | dance hall end by aruseika ft. miku

all-in-one talent alert (musician, artist, animator) aruseika also has a making-of video detailing how they both composed & animated the song!!

(x) | goodnight cold sleeper by ro2noki ft. adachi rei

(x) | デバフ脳 by last 4 cigarettes ft. tsukuyomi-chan

(x) | pained. by minamo minato ft. yamine renri

(x) | hymn to the decadent life by ro2noki ft. teto

(x) | tentacle by midluster ft. kaai yuki

(x) | edo disco by yumameane ft. teto

(x) | 焦燥 by kinoue64 ft. miku

(x) | tenshi dattandayo by ft. ǢǪ ft. miku & xingchen

(x) | rot away by lvnarlii ft. teto

(x) | ▀ by 全ては裏で動く。ft. defoko

(x) | counting sheep by saeki tatsuki ft. miku

watch this for the mv! its a loop of an animation that lasts only a few seconds, but its both beautiful & incredibly impressive being that its hand drawn

(x) | 頼リタイアガール by midluster ft. kanade kanon

(x) | repeated poems by 全て私達の所為にするな。

(x) | final end roll by kinoue64 ft. miku

(x) | eyesight love by xaneiro ft. flower

(x) | migiwa rinshou by nakase miru ft. rime

(x) | ⋆ by ueil ft. miku

(x) | 墓場 by den9 ft. teto

(x) | -_- by egao ft. defoko

i did not know their name is egao thats funny as hell

(x) | 潜 by 全て画質の所為です。ft. defoko

(x) | いはないお約束 by xaneiro ft. flower

warning for intense glitching/flashing throughout this mv!

rambling section

beautiful year for adachi rei & teto enjoyers in my opinion... tetos synthv release really caused such a huge uptick in teto originals & rei is still riding off of that heat abnormal high lol its been wonderful to witness

i promise you i'm surprised only one project voltage song made the list too! i guess i really only enjoyed inabakumori's song. jin's song is in here in spirit too (trans miku + eevee... perfection) but ultimately i'm not the hugest fan of the song itself (it is sooo cute though)

so many songs under two minutes long So so so sad this isn't healthy for them. you have to stop. this is a phenomenon happening across music in general and not specific to vocaloid whatsoever but i think its funniest to blame this on surii

quite a few xx/subeana styled songs made the list this year just bc i got really into exploring the genre!! and my youtube recommendations helped out a lot lol. keeping in true spirit with the genre though a number of them have since been unlisted

i included kyoufuu all back in the introductory paragraph but excluded it from my actual listing and this was not a mistake. i have sadly grown somewhat sick of it. such is the way with immense popularity... it really is a cute song but oh my god is yukopi getting so much damn mileage out of it

iyowa really knocked it out of the ballpark earlier this year with babel & actress those are both soooo so so good. actress in of itself is just a really well executed narrative whereas babel is such a clever song celebrating teto's synthv release (it being a duet between her synthv & utau banks, her drills quite literally as an inverted tower of babel, babel because her synthv bank allows her to sing in multiple languages... a slight copycat of a cynosure madonna!!!)

but mannn synthv releasing Both teto & gumi banks this year, not to mention the kafu announcement??? insane. its like a vocalsynth monopoly up in here

RAMBLING SECTION SOLELY FOR AKOTOBA: what a lovely lovely lovely song. part of its charm for me is the fact that, being a haraguchi song, you go into it expecting it to veer wildly off course or incorporate some sort of bizzare musical twist; but the twist is that there is no twist! its instead just this really pure & beautiful build up to a vibrant & joyful chorus, no tricks. its so celebratory sounding!! & i find it charming how its still obviously a haraguchi song, complete with his signature strangeness (the scream sfx), but tempered into something sooo sweet. the proseka note haraguchi wrote for the song too really melts my heart; i know it was meant to be somewhat humorous but i find something so so so beautiful in the concept of a song made for the first time in a world where music has all but virtually disappeared... im glad that miku + teto + haraguchi are all still alive and well in the year 3023 lol. genius move to have the title be a play on ai kotoba too. genuinely cannot help but break into a wide smile whenever i listen to this song

now with all my praise for haraguchi out of the way, my actual favorite producer of this year has to be.... yukuewat! i found them beginning of january and have been in love ever since. my favorite songs of theirs weren't released in 2023, so they make scant appearances on this list, but they were one of the producers i listened to the most this past year! their tuning is perfection to me, i feel like they occupy this really intrinsic-to-vocalsynth niche where their tuning is both robotic AND emotional; having all the harsh consonants and precisce diction you can only get from a vocalsynth but arrested with emotions that feel organic, despite sounding distinctly nonhuman. that is what vocalsynth is all about to me!!! not to mention their style is both addictively catchy & unique, i don't think i can name another musician off the top of my head who makes music like they do. theyre a huge huge favorite of mine, and with their gradually rising popularity, i hope more ppl come to recognize them soon!!!

and with all that said too, apparently according to youtube music my top artist for 2023 was not yukuewat but asanuko!!! i guess i listened to the speaker song more than i realized lol

if you read all of this i love you with my entire heart

[ink-flavored]

Urban Fantasy Gender Transition

I've got lots of trans characters in both my anthologies, so naturally I've been thinking about how they go about transitioning in a society with magic AND scientific advancements. These are a few of the details I've thought of so far! You can find this and more world-building details on my Neocities site! Tales from Athendrolyn Taglist: @foxys-fantasy-tales @auroblaze @thelaughingstag @auntdarth @damageinkorporated Athendrolyn After Dark Taglist: @foxys-fantasy-tales @auroblaze @noblebs @thelaughingstag @auntdarth @srjacksin (Check out my Google Form to get added to either taglist!)

Mundane Transition

Mundane options (for HRT, surgeries, binding, breast forms, packing, tucking, hair removal, etc. etc. there are so many things) are still available for those who don’t want to use magic, or can’t use magic (at all or effectively). In general, mundane options offer more reliable and predictable changes than comparable magical options, especially in medicine, so if you’re intimidated by the breadth and variety of what magic transition entails, there’s always a simpler option. It’s also common to switch from magic to mundane transition options over time, from mundane to magic as a slow ramp-up, or to mix and match mundane and magic options as you see fit.

Magical Hormone Therapy

HRT ritual spell: While there is, technically, a way you can cast a transition spell instantly, it would be ridiculously complex and require far more magical capacity than any known wizard that has ever existed. A ritual spell, cast once a week/every two weeks depending on the user’s magical capacity, that goes through all the changes gradually and uses magic from the world in addition to the caster, is much more sustainable. It can also change things that mundane HRT can’t.

A doctor can prescribe a specific combination of runes to help guide their patient’s transition most effectively. However, it can take a while to see dramatic results, because even precisely tailored magic can fuck up a lot of stuff in the body—use of healing magic, even used in hospitals by trained professionals, has to be carefully monitored to make sure it doesn’t “over-heal” the patient and make everything worse.

HRT potions and salves: Much less customizable than a ritual spell, but an easier option for those who don’t want to go through the hassle of casting. One dose of a bulk-ordered potion a week, with potency gradually increasing over time, is a very simple way to transition. Magical salves don't increase in potency, but the doses are easier to measure, and are easier for those who have trouble swallowing or dislike the flavor of potions. Both have faster results and the ability to change things mundane HRT can’t.

They can be picked up from a pharmacy or made at home, but brewing at home isn't recommended because of how difficult it can be to source ingredients—fresh ingredients, at that. The ingredients list can be adjusted for the individual, but it all depends on what's available.

More under the cut!

Magical Gender Affirming Wearables

Magic binding: Most magical binders look like the mundane ones at first glance—either a full or half-shirt that flattens the chest. The trick is in how they work. Instead of compressing the breast tissue, the inside of the magical binders has two ritual circles woven into the fabric that act as transportation circles that contain the breast tissue in a separate plane of existence.

Where, exactly? Nobody’s sure, which may put off some potential wearers. For some, the promised flexibility in no time limit on wearing it and being able to exercise without risk is convincing enough.

Swimming, however, is still not recommended, because of the risk that water could flow endlessly into the binder and dry up the entire water source. It’s also required to be hand-washed or dry cleaned, and you have to take precautions not to stick your hand in the active transportation circles.

Magic breast forms: Enchanted breast forms—whether they were enchanted from the start or mundane-turned-magical—are common. The most popular use of enchantments is making them more realistic to the touch, and some enchantments allow for minimal sensation. Enchantments that makes them more realistic compared to the rest of the body are frequent, but so are enchantments that intentionally make them intentionally unrealistic. Some creatures naturally without breasts (like nagas, dragonfolk, and some merfolk) enjoy simulating what it feels like to be a mammal with enchanted breast forms.

Magic packers: Mundane packers can easily be enchanted and packers that are enchanted from the start are also common. Enchantments include STP, ability to feel minimal sensation during play, and even independent movement. The enchantments require “calibration” to the body before they work properly, and it can take some getting used to, especially learning to switch between enchantments (don’t turn on the erection runes while you’re trying to use the STP runes).

Magic tucking: Magical tucking gaffs look like standard gaffs or underwear. However, similar to magical binders, the inside of the gaffs have a ritual circle woven into the fabric that acts as a transportation circle that send your junk to a separate plane of existence. Nobody knows where!

The risk of such a sensitive area being a mysterious “somewhere else” may put off some potential wearers. Others are willing to take the risk for the smooth appearance and relative comfort. Frequent wearers report the other dimension is a bit chilly.

Again like magical binders, swimming is not recommended, because of the risk that water could flow endlessly into your gaff and dry up the entire water source. They also have to be hand-washed or dry cleaned, and you have to take precautions not to stick your hand in the active transportation circle.

Magic Gender Affirming Surgeries

“Magic” surgeries, of all types not just the gender-affirming kind, are used in tandem with mundane practices. Mundane medicine acts as a failsafe, a buffer, and an essential tool of operation, because there are some things even magic isn’t ideal for. All doctors with the ability to use magic are trained in the mundane ways to do the same thing, and doctors without magical ability are trained alongside their wizard peers to make sure they’re all on the same page about what’s possible and what isn’t. All this to say—magical gender affirming surgeries are as complicated as the mundane kinds.

Magic facial reconstruction: Incorporating magic into facial reconstruction surgery can be dramatically helpful for aesthetics. If the patient has some particular look in mind, it can be recreated to extremely subtle detail, as magic can be used to warp bone, reroute muscle, and more easily reconnect blood vessels.

Magic top surgery: All the regular mundane methods are able to be used in tandem with magic to make the process smoother, and can enhance certain outcomes. For example, retaining nipple sensation is much more likely with magic, or allow for intentionally odd-shaped scars. Magic healing can also help the healing process, and there are plenty of magical methods to make surgery scars fade faster.

Magic metoidioplasty: Simple release often doesn’t require much magic to be used in anything other than the healing process, but it can be used to make the surgery area more aesthetically pleasing if the patient has any particular requests. A full metoidioplasty (with UL, vaginectomy, potentially scrotoplasty, etc.) does involve more magic, both for aesthetic and structural purposes. Magic can lower the risk of some common complications, with the ability to be more precise with the delicate processes, like reattachments of skin, nerves, and blood vessels.

Magic phalloplasty: Depending on the size, requested appearance, any other specific requests, and if the patient is receiving a scrotoplasty as well, magical implementation can vary. Regardless of where the donor area is taken for the phalloplasty, magic makes it much easier to attach the nerve and blood vessel. Aesthetic requests are easier to implement with magic, both for the phalloplasty and the scrotoplasty, and the neophallus can even be enchanted to become erect on its own instead of receiving an implant or pump, and even ejaculate (though it isn't viable sperm).

Magic vaginoplasty: Depending on whether the patient is receiving full-depth or no-depth, the requested appearance, and any other specific requests, magical implementation can vary. For a no-depth vaginoplasty, the main use of magic is to create an aesthetically pleasing end-result, while the mundane surgeons take most of the wheel. For a full-depth vaginoplasty, precise reattachments of skin, nerves, and blood vessels are where magic shines. Retention of sensation is much higher with use of magic, and complications are lower risk. The neovagina can also be enchanted to self-lubricate, if requested, and even ejaculate (i.e. squirting. You can get a squirting enchantment).

Altersex surgeries: Magic makes any sort of alternate surgical request much easier to implement. A penile-preserving vaginoplasty, a vaginal-preserving phalloplasty, an unburied meta with a phalloplasty on top, genital nullification—you name it, magic makes it easier to retain sensation, lowers the risk of complications, and can help create the genitals (or lack thereof) of the patient’s wildest dreams.

Other Magical Body-Mods

Magic hair growth and removal: Magical hair growth can be factored into an HRT potion, salve, or ritual spell, and regrowth spells/potions/salves are common without a prescription. Magical hair removal is much easier, less painful, and more popular than laser hair removal—it can be done at home with a potion or salve, or at a clinic with a spell. A lot of hair removal salves are used in medical settings to shave an area before surgery, and can be (infrequently) used for personal shaving. Overuse increases the risk that all your hair falls out, an uncontrollable level of hair growth, and skin irritation, so it's important to dose properly.