#the most normal incel interaction ever

[ixtab]

Why are you playing the víctim you harrassed her lol

[desire-mona]

more modern poets hcs for greenie!

charlie -

charlie used to post like "annoying gay ppl vs normal gay ppl" memes, had a huge turnaround and they cringe when they think of that time. mentioning blaire white or kalvin garrah would make him jump

has an "i <3 milfs" design of every article of clothing, could make an entire i <3 milfs outfit. shirt, hat, pants, socks, belt, shoes, hoodie, you name it.

todd -

todd is nonbinary bc he is autistic and autistic ppl generally view gender differently. not debating this. this is a fact and this is canon. they/he/she todd anderson, what of it.

chronic procrastinator when it comes to anything besides school. they will put off doctors appointments, finishing tv shows, even charging their phone.

neil -

doesnt use tiktok but he watches todd scroll thru her fyp sometimes and gets very mad at those "acting pov" videos. hes like "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN ACTING POINT OF VIEW" "POINT OF VIEW YOU ONLY HAVE A LIMITED NUMBER OF WORDS???????? WHAT DOES THAT MEEEEEAN"

i see ppl saying that neil would be a swiftie but i would like to suggest that he's a big ethel cain fan, a collection of songs that tell a fictional character's story? tell me thats not right up his alley

meeks -

i dont think this is the type of math meeks bases a career off of but i do think he rly pays attention to architecture and city layouts and stuff. will forever complain abt how inconvenient it is to have a car centered society and how every place should be walkable OR have public transport

collects records despite not having a record player, tapes despite not having a walkman, and cds despite using his cd player maybe 3 times a year. quite honestly its just to have a physical collection of his music taste

pitts -

pitts went thru a "nice guy/ vaguely incel-ular" phase in middle school, but he didnt talk to a singular woman in those years. by the time it went away there was no harm done to anyone but himself and a very annoyed meeks who had to listen to how girls "only go for assholes"

he has a fashion sense so good that ppl online *ask* him to post fit checks, he doesnt do any if theyre not requested of him. pitts is also the one with the biggest online presence, most notably tiktok and twitter

knox -

type of guy to constantly post shit like "like for a tbh" or post anonymous question things on his story. nobody interacts with any of it so he usually just deletes them after half a day

haaaaaaaates texting and will either send very long voice messages or just ask to call whoever he's talking to (me fr i send ppl voice msgs almost exclusively)

cameron -

cam is suuuuuuuper creeped out by ai "art", especially the ai washing feet commercial during the superbowl, which he had nightmares about for a week

his parents are constantly trying weird diets (most notably keto) so he has the weirdest assortment of random ingredients in his pantry. has come up with the strangest "meals" any one of those boys have ever seen

[nereidprinc3ss]

Jokes and being 'horny on main' aside I find it so fascinating how many women are drawn to both Spencer Reid and MGG. Like he's not classically handsome, in the way most macho Hollywood men are. He's softer, more poetic looking and his personality is also very unique. I think he feels safe (from what we know anyways), and there's something to be said for why women (especially younger women) go nuts for this kind of smart, goofy, caring guy who is truly weird (more so MGG than Spencer). Yet you'll still have incels on Reddit/Twitter parading the toxic alpha male shit to impressionable men and creating this vicious cycle. There was actually an interesting class I took on Romance novels and how because they're sort of an unexplored medium that hasn't been taken seriously in the cultural zeitgeist until recently it's been able to develop into a safe space for women, written by women. A lot of men call them unrealistic and yes they can lean trope-y and drama-esque but also at their core its about women reading about men that are good communicators, with decent personalities and hygiene

idk WHY he is the most visually appealing man I’ve ever seen, and idk why he has this crazy staying power for me—like normally my celebrity crushes are crazy intense for a few months and then they just disappear one day, but me and matthew are approaching our year anniversary and i see no signs of stopping lol!!

i think personality does have a lot to do with it. mgg is genuinely a weirdo like he’s a weird dude with a lot of heart and he seems really passionate about the things he does. men who care about something outside of themselves, and don’t take themselves too seriously, do tend to make me feel safer. i can’t speak for other women and obviously we don’t know him in real life but if he’s secretly an asshole he does a fantastic job of hiding it!! his sense of humor requires a kind of self awareness and awareness of other people that we don’t usually expect from famous men, and the way he speaks about and interacts w his female friends/coworkers is really amazing too.

idk, obviously we don’t actually know him and i try very much not to idolize people (especially men) who i don’t know. but he’s so funny and seems like an actually kind person who lacks some of the hangups that other male celebrities have and that make them repellant to me

also men saying romance novels are “unrealistic” need to give me a fucking break. women know that the men they read about in romance novels aren’t realistic representations of men in real life but men don’t seem to understand that porn is a fucking joke and not a realistic representation of real women. yet they hold us to those ludicrous standards all the time. until they start thinking about the porn they watch as a complete MADE UP FANTASY the way women think about romance novels i really do not want to hear it from them lmfaooo

especially when our fantasy is being treated respectfully by a good man and their fantasies include anti gravity boobs and removed ribs and viewing women as objects made for their pleasure

can you tell im mad about this…

anyway thank you for sharing your thoughts!! i completely agree<3

[femsolid]

Hi,

I’m not sure if you’re from the US, so I will inform but ever since the election misogyny has been on the rise and appears rather rampant as of late (I know it’s always been there of course, but it feels like it is consistently worse due to the internet. Men like this can congregate together and incubate in a forum, whether 4chan or telegram, or even 8chan to discuss their plans to actively harm women.) Lately a lot of far right individuals have been spewing pro-r*pe nonsense and one in particular with a large following (Nick Fuentes) sent a tweet saying “your body, my choice.” I feel such mindset will increase femicide.

It’s scary enough to be a woman and on your own as is. Eventually I’m going to have to adult and try to achieve what I want out of life, so one day I will not have my dad with me as a shield because most of the time he goes everywhere with me.

But lately all of this harmful rhetoric has held me back, and now I live in fear, wary of going towards my goals knowing men like that are out there. Feeling like I’ll have to be an owl and turn my head constantly to ensure my safety.

Do you have any advice to not live in fear despite the rampant misogyny on the rise? (I hope I typed this okay, English is not my first language).

Your English is perfect. It's not my first language either and I'm not from the USA.

I saw the tweet in question, and I saw a video of the same man teasing women about it like a child. Every time I saw it, it was because a woman had shared it or reposted it in the hope of criticizing him. I would have never heard of his existence otherwise.

It seemed obvious to me that he was trying to get women's attention. You know how they call women "attention whores?" Well it's another reversal of reality. Men are constantly begging for our attention, negative or positive, they need us in their lives. And that's what he's doing. And he got his wish. Sticking his tongue out and going, "nananère!" As kids say in french.

I think the English equivalent would be:

I suppose it's normal to feel anger or fear when you see a man explode with glee as he realizes that he wasn't the only male perceiving himself as a slave owner.

While women don't see themselves as slaves, men still see themselves as slave owners. Men like him make it incredibly obvious, of course, but even progressive men see themselves as slave owners. Magnanimous slave owners, sure, but still. You can see it in the way they nag their girlfriends for sex, making it a duty and a right, the way they react to women forming female only groups, the slavery oriented porn they watch and want to act out, the way they act upset for a second after learning that their women might not be able to get an abortion when they need it, which will impact their access to casual sex.

This realization might make you scared for a while, but only if you weren't aware of that already. Life hasn't changed. 4chan, telegram, incels, conservative or progressive misogynists, the've always been there. The slave owner mindset is just a bit more visible. My advice is to focus on your goals and interact with men as little as possible, never at all if possible. And to stop listening to men, reading what men have to say, unfollow the women who are a platform to men, even unintentionally.

We often talk about South Korean women lately. Well, they've lived around men like this guy their whole lives. They're everywhere, and they're vocal. It hasn't stopped Korean feminists from starting their movement, from freeing themselves, from being strong and ambitious. Strive for independence.

[elliepassmore]

Draw Down the Moon review

3.5/5 stars Recommended if you like: younger YA, magic schools, chosen one, childhood friends to lovers

Big thanks to Netgalley, the authors, and the publisher for an ARC in exchange for an honest review!

So...this book reads very young. And like it was written by someone in middle school. I could go on and on about how young the characters read and how they interact with each other the way no human being interacts with other people, but I'll keep this brief. These characters are all supposed to be 18, yet almost every single one of them reads like they're 12. I had to put the book down several times because of how absolutely ridiculous some of the things they said were. They also 100% do not dress like high schoolers. No high schooler is going to be caught dead in the kind of 'funny' slogan t-shirts these kids wear on the regular.

Another thing that made me put the book down was the fact that there's a Japanese character who...randomly responds in Japanese to people who don't speak Japanese. That IS NOT HOW CODE SWITCHING WORKS!!! Also, Cast gets some of the Japanese wrong, particularly in regards to respect registers, though that's of course hard to fit in when the character 'speaking' Japanese only ever uses one word at a time.

Moving on, the premise of the book rests on the 'chosen one' trope, and Wren is extra special since her powers don't quite fit the traditional categories. For most of the book Wren reads like a middle schooler, which I think she should've been and then the whole book could've been MG instead of YA, but whatever. However, there are certain points in which she acts more mature and behaves like one would expect an 18-year-old to. I'm...not really sure what her character arc is. She's very loyal to her friends, and she wants to solve the mystery of what's going on, but that's about it. While there's not really any character development going on with her, she does have a lot going on and her I'm-actually-12-in-an-18-year-old-body behavior/attitude does make her POV interesting to read.

Lee actually has a more solid character foundation, imo. He wants to uphold his family's high expectations while also honoring his sister's memory. This, naturally, leads him to do things that he thinks his sister would've done, regardless of it's something he wants. These familial expectations have, apparently, turned him from a mischief-maker like Wren into a rule-follower. His blind obedience to the rules gets kind of annoying when it's obvious there's something wrong going on at the academy. Instead, he's just like la-di-da, we should tell an authority figure (even though they're acting suspiciously). At least that's in character for him though, so I can't fault it too much even if it's annoying. That being said, while I think Lee is a stronger character, he's rather boring, and he actually acts incel-y for a portion of the book. He thinks Wren is telling him to date someone else and since she doesn't return his (unspoken) feelings, he decides to ghost her. And then somehow everyone thinks this is her fault.

Sam is really the only other character who gets enough page time for us to know. Luke, Lily, and Ruby are just kind of...there. Sam is Wren's other BFF and also has that weird mix of immature and normal-18yo. Her entrance is literally her belting the opening song from Beauty and the Beast in front of a crowd of people she just met, solely in order to say 'hi' to Wren. Luckily, Sam has smarts to her and that mostly makes up for her entrance. She's able to help Wren with the mystery and is good at making leaps that help. She's also fiercely protective of Wren.

Probably my biggest issue with this novel aside from the immaturity of the characters, is the fact that the dialogue is exposition. It's literally the embodiment of that Tumblr post talking about bad exposition "morning sis, remember how our parents are dead," is basically how things work in this novel. There are moments when things are explained through showing, so I'm not sure why so much of it is told unnecessarily through dialogue.

The ending also did not wow me. The whole book is spent building up to this moment and then after some action, things just fizzle out. Wren I think gets a magical transformation into a 20-year-old (??) and also a hair dye job (??). Somehow Wren leaves the school and I'm just very confused about the whole thing. I think Cast could've easily made this a standalone and wrapped everything up in this book, particularly if the exposition was delivered a little more smoothly.

[wallacetheentertainer]

"Let's do a friendly, SFW RP blog for a change!" I said, then immediately created a spin-off of my grossest fanon character interpretation ever.

This'll just be a low-interaction in-character blog to figure out the life & exploits of Mundane Human AU Wallace as a "fandomless OC" for my own amusement. I cannot imagine anyone wanting to roleplay with such an offputting little bastard so for the moment considering this a semi-private blog, but future threads aren't off the table entirely depending on how attached I get to this loser shithead.

🎃 @coffinbreath

🎭🎭🎭

Wallace James Punch

Alternate stage moniker: Wally DeLarge

Birthday: 5/22/1993

Voice: if Genesis P-Orridge constantly smoked cigarillos, with a little Sid Vicious

5'/145 lbs/stereotypical angry redhead/fishbelly pale/cold dead blue eyes/terrifying smile/trash fashion sense/trashier tattoos

Basics

A shock-comedy "performance artist" born in Cheshire, England, Wallace Punch's Variety Act has been described by the few critics brave enough to stomach its entirety as "a one-man pantomime of The Aristocrats"---to paraphrase the sex-shop owner in Se7en, "the sort of guy who pisses in a cup on stage and then drinks it". Lots of prop-based humor and dead baby jokes, once landed himself in the hospital with salmonella after biting the head off a plucked dead chicken, another time was banned from the premises for bleeding all over the place when he pierced his nipples with safety pins. He has a small but dedicated fanbase of edgy groupies and is notorious for being mediocre in the sack whenever he does bed them; while not an outright rapist his incel energy is OFF THE CHARTS and if he starts joking about roofies that unfortunately means he likes you. Surprisingly not a drinker given his hair-trigger temper, Wallace prefers club drugs and is very casual about being hooked on amphetamines, definitely not above buying adderall from teenagers despite his age---very "Hello fellow youths" at whatever party he's crashing.

Though as crass and lecherous as his puppet blueprint, Wallace Punch is a complete 180 in other aspects---melancholic as opposed to violent, masking his insecurities with deranged jokes and a pathological need to have all eyes on him, secretly terrified of most animals because for some reason they tend to attack him, masochistic to a point that he's almost too kinky to torture and charismatic in a skanky way that keeps him surrounded by similarly-othered people, topped off with the type of personality disorder that no matter the size of the crowd egging him on, he tends to feel like the loneliest man in the world. Puts the "bi" in "bipolar"---eh, probably, there may not be a straightforward diagnosis for what's wrong with him, and he had a normal-enough childhood that there's no Freudian excuse for his antisocial behavior. Perhaps Wallace is just what happens when a mildly emotionally neglected 10 year old with unsupervised internet access starts stealing his mom's cigarettes and finds that negative attention is better than none.

Backstory, Etc.

The first major turning point in his life was being arrested at age 20 for assault with a weapon, and Wallace was lucky to only spend a year in prison for breaking his flatmate's jaw with a metal juggling torch as soon as he walked in the door---the judge was very lenient, taking into consideration that Wallace's motive was finding "fucked up photos of kids" while snooping through the guy's room for weed; however the case brought so much negative publicity to the Punch name & family restaurant that his father Harold disowned him, with the final comment "you always ran with a bad crowd, why don't you stick with them". This insult on top of the injury of a very rough stay in Wormwood Scrubs broke something in Wallace (it's the one aspect of his criminal history he won't brag about) and led him to start ramping up the show's indecency while using his real name as if to send the message that he wouldn't be so easily forgotten; beyond that he's a registered sex offender due to the number of times he's stripped on stage or taken a leak in public, had to crowdfund bail from fans when he was arrested for soliciting a prostitute while touring the United States, been fined for possession and public intoxication multiple times, regularly steals and engages in prostitution himself despite being quite comfortable from his eccentric aunt's inheritance "because it's fun", and had his license revoked for reckless driving because he's near-sighted yet refuses to wear glasses.

Despite these charges and the general misogynistic bent of his humor, there are quite enough women willing to ignore his many red flags out of sheer curiosity from the rumors (and video clips) that circulate. He's more popular with men, seeming to take pride in making other guys question their sexuality and having lost track of how many times he's heard "you look like a girl from the back"---with his short stature, alto voice, fat ass and flamboyant wardrobe the question as to his sex occasionally comes up, which he'll happily answer with a visual demonstration. Trans fans give him the t-slur pass because for all that he refuses to label himself, he does seem to have quite a fondness for skirts, stockings and tacky jewellery, and while he's definitely chaser-y about it his admiration for transsexuals' "commitment to the bit" in his words is genuine. Wallace isn't particularly bigoted towards one group more than others and will use whatever derogatory language comes to mind first, defaulting towards homophobia (because irony) and antisemitism (because I'm Jewish & comfortable "reclaiming" that, plus I think he'd say some funny shit about us controlling the entertainment industry) or just trash-talking a target's appearance ("Ya call that a moustache? It looks like you're eating a rat!") if sexual and racist epithets don't stick. He gets real enjoyment from audience members heckling him right back, seeming to consider a show a failure if there hasn't been at least one argument or disgusted walk-out.

[parasocial12]

Clubs, my Past, and more Whining

[transcribed from memo book as is] McD is expensive! I can't really think of what to write for today's entry. I had to speak to my professor last class. Very scary! No friends made in any course. Sad! They say to join clubs to make friends, but the Anime Club is the only club that is truly applicable to me. Unfortunately, those are not my People. They are simply too cringe? I don't mean that in the sense that I don't understand wh the jokes, but they're simply all too unfunny. Their tastes are too Reddit. I'm in the most vexing position. I'm too strange for normal people, but too normal for the weirdos. I suppose in one-on-one interactions I fare decently, but in a club setting I feel locked out. Band kids is what they feel like! The type to think Rick and Morty an is the funniest show ever. In a way, I am also too radical for them too. My years spent on 4chan as a Youth have a left permanent mark on my psyche. Not on /pol/ or /b/ or any of those places where the Election Tourists. /r9k/ was such a nice place to vent to older anons. Sure, I was underage ban, but ain't nobody knew that. I miss that comradery, as toxic as they were. The Youths of today are so lucky to have Tiktok. I admire TT as a space where the Youth can experiment and be themselves while using the algorithm to find communities to connect with. I missed out on that train. That's not to say I don't use TT or have my own spaces, but TT as a youth must be a hell of a fun place. Oh well! I had the experience of being underage on anonymous imageboards at least (wow!). Let me finish my fries now ~~~~ On the walk back to the SC, I passed by some sort of Christian group- a club? I know not, for I avoided eye contact- and as I did, they spoke to a duo of girls walking next to me. The usual invitation for a Bible study. They kept walking of course, and while doing so joked about how one of them was the target lol. Very funny duo- almost chuckled before remembering that I was merely walking alongside them, not with them! On that walk as well, I passed many cute girls. Idk what it is about college, but so many ppl are beautiful. It doesn't help that they are all serving- I didn't know uni was a fashion show! Now, I sit at the usual spot of my writing and jot down in my little memo book. Makes for such unworthy penmanship. Ahhhh! It's so frustrating seeing all the cute gals. I'm not terrible looking monster w/ a horrible personality, but I can't muster up the nerve to act upon my romantic delusions! How I wish I was less of an overthinker! Oh well. Since I am too passive to pursue, I must accept the fact that I will end up alone. Tragic! The best and easiest years to make friends and lovers and I cannot. What a failure I am! It is concerning that the majority of the ppl I have cordial relations with are women- and of them all are either taken or lesbian. I've nothing really against it. I'm proud that so many ppl can confide in me. Yet, I feel lonely. I realize I'm too emotionally immature to date, but I've fallen so far behind the curve that I feel that I will never catch up. I'm just a fool. Dreaming the best years of my Life away! I don't blame anyone, really. If I was a woman, I wouldn't date myself either. I'm a nice guy, but that's such a low bar- the bare minimum. What do I have to offer? I'm not rich. I'm mildly funny at times, but no comedian. I'm not some attractive guy. I don't like going out. I'm insecure. My Future is bleak. I have Nothing! Oh well. Always an oh well. I apologize to my future self for having wasted our Time, and I damn my younger self for the same Crime. [end of entry] Author's Note: It appears that no matter what, I will always end up writing about being lonely and cute girls I see. What a creep! I'm not an incel or nothing, but damn if my writings don't make me seem like I am

[mypoisonedvine]

𝖙𝖊𝖓𝖊𝖇𝖗𝖆𝖊 || dark!father antonio x reader

𝖘𝖚𝖒𝖒𝖆𝖗𝖞 | tenebrae (/ˈtɛnəbreɪ/, latin): darkness, obscurity; dark place; prison (or, delusional priest develops an obsession with one of the lost little lambs in his flock)

𝖜𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖈𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖙 | 3.5k

𝖜𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘 | smut (noncon), incel vibes? (which is ironic because the celibacy is very voluntary, but still) as well as yandere vibes, significant religious imagery and references, loss of virginity, blood, some misogyny (I mean, he’s a priest, so...), spanking, pain kink, creampie, very lightly implied breeding kink, 

{a/n: my gif, please don’t steal it!}

                   Antonio had always had a gift, the same one that made him such an excellent priest: he could see darkness.

He could see darkness, and he could cast it out.

It weighed heavy on him sometimes, the burden of the ills of the world.  He saw people for what they really were most of the time: monsters.  It was taxing.  It left him feeling more alone than any vow of chastity ever could.  Sometimes, it felt like being close to God meant having to be so far away from everyone else; but that’s how it had always been for him, since he was a boy.  He never got along with other children, even his parents seemed to have disdain for him.  The only thing that kept him going was knowing that he had a higher purpose.

Over time, he got better at hiding among normal people, mainly because he needed to in order to acquire what he wanted.  Becoming a priest was a natural step for him, for a litany of reasons.  For one, God accepted him when no one else had, blessed him with the righteous curse of seeing sin.  Second, it not only prevented intimate relationships but stopped people from asking him why he didn’t have one; he wasn’t good at relationships or questions about them.  Women, frankly, always scared Antonio slightly because he found them especially unpredictable and often additionally sinful… and being at the church meant overall interacting with less women.

And finally, the option to be occasionally moved from parish to parish gave him a sense of freedom, answered that call he sometimes felt to drop everything and go somewhere new.  

What he never expected was to meet someone like you.

At first, what attracted him to you was the light you seemed to shine, like an angel.  You were perfect— obedient, pious, patient.  You listened to his homilies, you cared for your siblings and respected your father and mother.  You had a lovely voice and would often sing in services, to the delight of the congregation; you always said that God had given you a gift and it was right that you should give it back.  

But, what started innocent quickly turned sinister.  The more time he spent with you, the more Father Antonio felt the tug of a deeper instinct, something sickeningly human; of the flesh, perhaps.  

Because, you see, Antonio’s gift came at a price.  He could see darkness, but he carried it in himself, as well.  He carried the kind that couldn’t be cast out; he carried the kind that needed to be fed.

Maybe your gift came at a price too; your lovely voice, bought with your soul.  Once he suspected it, he couldn’t shake it from his mind, and soon everything he saw was cast in a new light: or rather, cast a new shadow.

Your “innocent” smiles and touches, your “selfless” dedication to the church… it became obvious that your intentions were far from holy the more that he felt the pull of your wicked wiles on his mind.  It wasn’t his own weakness, no, just your power that made him long for you, filled his every thought with impurity.

At night, he had visions of you, of your body and every unholy way it could be marked and claimed, of every carnal sin that he feared yet craved.  Licking your lips, sucking your fingers, bending over and looking back at him with something truly godless in your eyes.  Take me, Father, haven’t you lusted for my body?  It’s yours, Father… break it.

For a man who could cast away the darkness, he suddenly couldn’t seem to get an erection to go down, not since those horrific images came to him.  He dealt with it the only reliable way, but it quickly became addictive until he was spilling on himself at least daily while he shut his eyes and let the sinful apparitions overtake him.

Maybe a demonic spirit had possessed you, somehow, or maybe you were evil from the very beginning, a succubus masquerading among God’s creation in a pitiful attempt to sully a man of the cloth.  Well, Antonio wouldn’t let that happen.  

He knew the next time you would be at the church when almost no one else was there; you see, Sunday Mass was probably the worst time to take you because the church would be full of witnesses.  Wednesday after choir wouldn’t be so bad, comparatively speaking, but the best by far was Thursday afternoon.  That was when you came by to help with the knitting of prayer shawls.  It was your most niche church activity and one that brought you to him when only a few other people were around— mostly little old ladies who used the time to gossip.

If he could get you alone just after it ended, the church would be all but empty.

Passing the time grew irritating, as once again all his thoughts turned to you before he could stop them.  When he finally caught a glimpse through his window of some of the women from the shawl-knitting group walking down the path to their cars, he almost made a fool of himself running so fast to the other end of the church.

But he didn’t make a fool of himself, in the end, because he caught you just in time.

He found you sorting through skeins of yarn and placing them back into the baskets they were stored in during the week; you didn’t seem to see him at first, since your back faced the open doorway.

Being alone in a room with you was chilling.  He had to be careful how he handled this, or you might reveal your true form and possibly overpower him.  He wasn’t sure entirely what you were capable of, and he’d rather not find out the hard way.  

When he spoke your name, you jumped up and turned to him with a smile.  “Padre,” you greeted with a little bow— so respectful, always.  He saw it now for the manipulation it was.  “Did you need something?”

“Yes, I thought I might speak with you in my office, if you don’t mind,” he explained.  Right away, you looked concerned, and he had to think quickly.  “It’s just that I wanted your input on my next homily,” he added, trying to seem casual— even jovial.  “Sometimes it seems like you’re the only one who’s listening, so I figured your approval is worth getting while you’re already here.”

“Of course!” you agreed.  “Let me just put all this away…”

“No no, come along now, and you can clean up later,” he insisted, and though you seemed a little worried by his intensity, you nodded and crossed the room to walk alongside him.

“So, what was it you wanted to ask me about?” you prompted him as he escorted you down the hall.  He saw your eyes hover briefly over his collar before scanning his torso; he tried not to smirk to himself at such an obvious lustful gaze from you.

“Well, I’ll need to show you my notes, I’m too forgetful to recall it all now,” he chuckled lightly.

“I always think it’s impressive that you can remember the whole homily each week,” you flattered gently, tilting your head and looking a bit shy to say it.

“Oh, well, it doesn’t come to me naturally,” he admitted, “I’m always losing things and forgetting where I’m supposed to be.”

“Maybe you just need someone to help you sometimes,” you offered sheepishly.

“Well, a life in the priesthood is one of solitude,” he shrugged.  Of course, his attention was torn away when he saw some church members gathering not far from his office: the last thing he needed was potential witnesses at a time like this.  He quickly grabbed your arm and pulled you into an alcove, just in time to stop the two of you from being seen together.

“F-father,” you gasped in confusion, glancing at where his hand clutched the sleeve of your cardigan.

“Actually, now that we’re almost there, I remember I’ve left my notes in the parsonage— not my office,” he sighed.  “Would you mind if we went there?”

“Um, n-no, I wouldn’t mind,” you decided nervously.

He guided you the opposite way, glancing back to make sure neither of you were seen, and soon enough you two were at the furthest end of the church grounds, at the wooden door of his apartment, perfectly secluded from everyone else with you unknowingly at his mercy.  “Come in,” he instructed gently as he opened the door for you, watching the sunlight stream in through the opening as you stepped in with a subtle (but noticeable) hesitance.

He followed behind you, watching your head turn as you scanned over the small space— priests did not live extravagantly, of course, and from just having stepped in you were already right in front of his dining table and could see his bed across the room.  

But he didn’t even make it to the bed.

The second the door was shut behind him, he grabbed you and covered your mouth with his hand, feeling you hesitate for a moment before you began to resist.  Did you really trust him that much, that your instinct was to accept what he was doing?

Pulling your body against his own, he bared his teeth at the warmth of you— so strong he felt it even through your clothes and his— and the smell of your hair suddenly filling his nostrils and intoxicating his mind.  Already he felt his cock filling, pressed up against your back; he laughed a little at how desperate his body was for your temptation.

"You conniving little witch,” he growled at you, holding you tighter when you struggled, “I should commend you for playing the part so well: the innocent girl, devoting her life to Christ… but you should've known that I would see you for what you are."

He spun you around to pin you to the wall, letting go of your mouth which released a whimper as he held you back.  “Father, what are you—?”

“Be quiet,” he hissed, “and listen.”

You straightened up a bit, looking at him with wide, fearful eyes.

“I can see things,” he began to explain, “things that other people can’t.  I don’t like to talk about it, because people often get upset when I do— they fear me.  And they should: I can see their sin.  Most sins can be forgiven, but some…” he trailed off, losing his train of thought as he ran his fingers over your cheek, down your neck, to the little gold crucifix you wore.  Anger burned in his chest at the sight of it, and with a snarl and a tug he ripped the jewelry off of you, making you flinch and sniffle.  “How dare you wear this so flagrantly, devil?  Have you no shame?”

But then when he saw your face all twisted up in fear, he chuckled to himself, surprised by his own outburst.

“Of course you don’t.  I remember the visions you sent to me, trying to tempt me.  I remember the way you looked begging to be fucked and used and violated.”

You were still playing dumb, looking at him like he was crazy, but he saw through your ruse.

"Luckily for you, I might just give you what you want," he grinned.  "It might be the only way to save either of us."

His right hand held your shoulders down while his left, the dominant, slipped up your skirt and into your panties.  When he was growing up, he was punished for using his left hand, told that it was of the Devil to favor it.  So, he learned to use the right in public, and the left only for matters of sin— like when he stroked his cock and thought of you, or like now.

“Stop struggling, I’m going to bless you,” he explained, taking his hand out of your skirt to demonstrate the sign of the cross he’d often given you in Mass, “with two fingers, like always.”

It didn’t seem to soothe you much, but he didn’t have time to worry about that.  As he reached back down to pull your underwear out of the way, he only indulged in exploring you for a moment before carefully sliding them into your channel.

“Warm,” he blurted out instantly at the feeling, noticing your eyes blown wide and filling with tears, “you’re burning up.  But of course you are, it’s only right that you should burn, isn’t it?”

After only a moment, he pulled his fingers from your body and looked on in shock at the dark crimson stain on his skin.

"Sanguis innocentes," he mumbled to himself as he lifted his fingers to see them closer.  The blood of the innocent.

He carefully took the fingers in his mouth and tasted the mixture of your arousal and your suffering.  It was almost as if he could taste your purity and sin all at once, at war with each other, and it was literally divine.  The body is a temple, after all, and he had just torn your veil.

"Oh, sweet child," he cooed at you as he leaned down over your squirming body.  “You’re ripe for the ruining.”

He reached to his belt and you cried again, a bit louder, and though he didn’t mean to get so angry with you, he just couldn’t stand the sound of your whining— so he gave you a quick slap to the face, but it only made you cry louder.  

“Quiet, harlot!” he barked.  

Grabbing you by the shoulders and tossing you back, it only took him a moment to bend you over the table and pull up your skirt; he grabbed handfuls of your skin, admiring the supple softness of it, before holding down your hips with one hand and finishing pulling his cock out with the other.  “S-stop,” you whimpered as he slid the head of his cock over your slit, kicking your legs apart quickly.

“Don’t struggle, this is the only way to save you,” he breathed, “just stay still and let me cleanse you.”

As soon as he pushed forward, he heard you sob suddenly but it sounded distant past the fog in his mind— the overwhelming intensity of just being inside you.  He didn’t mean to moan so loudly, but he simply couldn’t help himself when you felt so warm and tight, pulling him in deeper.  Only sin could feel this good; you were so hot inside that it must have been the fires of hell burning where your soul should've been.

"Oh, you lustful creature," he breathed, "sin incarnate…”

You whimpered and he felt your channel clench tighter around him in rhythmic pulses.  He'd never felt anything like it before, and it compelled him to thrust faster into you.  "Father, please," you whispered, "it hurts… you're hurting me."

"Good,” he groaned, looking down at your face pressed to the table and twisted in agony.  “Pain brings purification.”

When he looked down to watch his cock moving in and out of you, he groaned to see your body stretch to its limits, a pinkish tint coating him now as the bleeding started to subside.  

What hadn’t subsided, though, was your insatiable wetness, arousal coating the both of you with each movement— so much that he could hear the filthy sound of it echoing around the small room, past your broken cries and his own labored breathing.  As his own pleasure began to build, he could feel the evil draining from your body, but he knew what you needed for total salvation and he pulled you up closer to him to speak right into your ear.

“You want my seed, I know it,” he whispered, “that’s all you ever wanted.  Should I give in to you, witch?”

He ignored the way you shook your head and started to protest, clamping his hand down over your mouth and groaning as he moved faster, giving you all his strength in every thrust.

“Fuck,” he hissed; he didn’t curse often but when he did, he meant it.  Already he was so close to the edge and he could feel himself verging upon the precipice of something… powerful.  Unholy yet sacred.  You breathed heavily against his hand, your little whimpers muffled but getting louder— you were on the verge, too, it was obvious.  “Little whore,” he grinned, “you want to come, don’t you?  You want to come on my cock?”

You nodded awkwardly behind the grip of his hand.

“Go ahead then,” he challenged gruffly, “show me how wretched you can really be… make me come inside you.”

It was subtle at first, with just your eyes fluttering shut and your legs beginning to shake, but it was incredibly obvious as your channel gripped him tightly, so tight that he had to shut his eyes as well just to try to compose himself.  Call it disturbing, but the feeling of your tears running down over his hand on your mouth was nearly as erotic as your orgasm surrounding him; he moaned for both, and smiled slightly when he felt wetness coat him further until it surely stained his trousers and dripped down your legs.

“You insatiable bitch,” he growled, “I can feel how hard you’re coming.  Your lust is powerful, but I’m stronger— once you have my seed in you, your demon will be vanquished and you’ll belong to me.”

He liked the smell of your fear when he told you that.

“Forever,” he added, just to make it stronger.

You were clearly weakened after coming so hard, like the energy had drained out of you from it, but your struggle was renewed as you tried to push him away— but with the table in front of you, you couldn’t move your hips far enough to get his cock out of you.  He held you tightly and gave you faster, rougher thrusts, still staying as deep as he could to make sure you could never wash out what he was about to give you.

“Don’t put up a fight, just take your blessing like a good girl,” he instructed, choking on the last word as the first wave of it hit him and he groaned deeply.

Pumps of come filled you, each one wracking like a pang through his body while he stumbled over every slurred praise he could think of.  His movements slowed down as the intensity subsided, though he didn't stop completely until he was sure every drop was deep inside your shivering, weak body.

When he let you go, you fell onto the table in front of him with an unceremonious thud, eyes bloodshot and watery, and blinking blankly as you stared ahead.

With his breath mostly caught again, he gained the strength to slowly pull his hips back, though it was almost painful to move while his cock was so sensitive after giving you so much come.  Still, he managed to pull out completely and then watch in awe as his seed spilled from you, leaking slowly down between your legs.  He carefully followed the line of it back up over your inner thigh to gather his spend and push it back inside you; you winced and whined as his fingers reawakened the soreness inside you.  

Pulling his fingers out again he found a mix of his come and your own there, plus that pink tinge of blood still tainting his skin.  With a smirk he found your slack lips and ran the fingers over them before pushing them inside the hot, wet cavern of your mouth and guiding you to suck them clean.  You grimaced slightly but he held your head with the other hand so you couldn’t pull away.

“That’s it, clean up your mess,” he cooed.  Though his eyes were generally transfixed on your lips wrapped around his fingers, they glanced down quickly at his cock when he realised that he was still hard.

Using his free hand, he guided it back to your abused, leaking cunt and shoved himself back into you.  Your back straightened, your eyes went wide, and your teeth instinctively bit down on his fingers a bit as he started to fuck you again.

“You thought that was the end of it, didn’t you?” he smiled, taking in a deep breath through his teeth.  "Clearly you need more to be saved— look at you, sucking your own come off my fingers... you filthy slut.”

You cried a little more, shaking each time he slammed his hips into yours.  He could tell it was hurting you, and even having already been used you were somehow tighter than last time.  With your poor cunt all swollen now, you were even more sensitive as given away by your broken, weak moans.  

He pulled his fingers from your mouth to give several hard slaps to your ass, keeping you from squirming too much by pinning your head down with his other hand.  “I’m not going to stop until I know you’ve truly found salvation,” he promised you as he began to really pick up the pace again, still recovering from his last orgasm but sensing that a second would come along eventually.  “And I’m never, ever going to let you go.”

[skip-phony]

I think the pony version of the doctors would get alone with their normal counterparts (for the most part)

Dr Bright and pony Bright, after a state of shock and interest, would immediately start their normal chaos. The Foundation can’t uses the rule of ‘Bright can’t have a hivemind’ as they are two completely different Bright instances. Bright would also try to ride pony Bright across the facility and PB is totally for it.

Dr Clef and and pony Clef would be annoyed by a reality restructuring/temporary break, start fights between each other (both for fun but also cause they got really annoyed with themselves, not overall meant to kill the other) and god help who ever in near them when this happens, and fall asleep in a weird pony human cat pile. I think human Clef would attempt to ride pony Clef though I am unsure if pony Clef would allow this to go on for very long, or how well they could move around cause you got a fat ass on top of a fat ass short legged pony.

Dr Kondraki and pony Kondraki, while I don’t know how either would react to each other for the first time, would engage in sword fights for ‘training’ purposes and get along generally fine. Not getting in each other way to often, maybe have drinks and smoke breaks together. In breaches Kondraki would get up on pony Kondraki and they, just like the two Clefs, are a focus to be reckoned with. 

Dr Gears and pony Gears probably instantly accept this is now a thing, neither reacting just taking mental note of one another and continue the day as normal. When they do interact however I think they would just sit around and talk, if they are off work this would go on for hours. Mainly they are asking how their different world work, what’s normal what not, never truly turned off the Foundation’s ingrained idea of gathering as much information as possible. Oh god I think they might have a chess rivalry too, they might start pulling out some of the weirder versions of chess after a while. I don’t think outside of one test to see if human Gears can ride pony Gears neither of them ever do it again unless there was a very good reason to.

Dr Iceberg and pony Iceberg, I can’t see them getting along for long. Initially probably fine; committing arson, incel vibing despite both versions being with their respective Gears, human Iceberg being fascinated with the destructive power of equestrian magic bombs. As soon as human-berg learns pony Iceberg got a promotion its all over, Bright and Clef’s human-pony wars are tame compared to two rage filled Icebergs and one’s got magic and anger blizzard powers. Pony-berg is impossible to ride, his mane at this point is almost all ice, it would be painful and human Julian would fall off or stuck to the other cause the ice fused.

[the-bjd-community-confess]

[Multipost]

Mod: Attraction discourse subthread 

1. Bruh, the problem wasn't being sexually attracted to random people, no one was shaming wanting to fuck. The problem was telling a bunch of random people for absolutely no reason that you wanna bang random people in some weird creepy way. Esp since it was a response to some creepy 30 yo wanting to bang her 20 yo student. Do ya legit think that the most logical thing to do is, to think it's normal to tell complete strangers on the internet, via a DOLL confession blog that you wanna fuck some random person? Also, there have been a considerable amount of people confessing about wanting to bang their dolls, or enjoying "Ahegao" dolls, and no one has a problem with that.

Some of you really need to relearn what a fucking filter is, not everyone wants to know what makes you gush. People really need to figure out that a bunch of random strangers might not actually be vividly invested in your fantasy sex-life. You can be sex positive without rubbing your weird sex fantasies into people's faces, especially when you see how many people have absolutely no shame, and will even send weird creepy sex tweets to the victims of their infatuation for everyone to see. (Like every female Twitch streamer ever)

It's like those creepy koreaboo posts where they talk about "UwU imagine K-pop star #31132 as a cow, and how he'd just start tearing up if you touched his little weewee." No one needs to see you being a weird incel online.  (Yes this was based on a legit twitter post.)

Sex positive and not being a creep, are not mutually exclusive.

~Anonymous

2. the way some of you are about attraction is nuts. you realize it's pretty common for teens to discuss what teacher's the hot one, right? i know my friends and i did. and now that i'm an adult, and i'm in college, if i meet one of them at a bar or something? they probably wouldn't be interested, but if we hook up, that's two consenting adults right there. fucking go live in the real world, you people are sincerely unwell. like oh my god you are fundamentally broken and it's so fucking concerning.

~Anonymous

3. Do y'all really think all these confessions are from teacher anon??? I'm not teacher anon I just think somewhere along the way people got so fucked in the head about finding ADULTS attractive that now a bunch of young people actually think thought crimes are real. If I wasn't midway through my dissertation you people would be my new study project because I desperately want to understand 1) what went wrong with your development and 2) if and how we reintegrate you back into normal human society.

~Anonymous

4. Just to clarify, as the one who sent the question re "Is it ever ok to make a doll of someone you have a crush on in lieu of interacting with them", that was a genuine question and I've seen it come up with celebrity minimees etc., it was stupid of me to bring it up while the teacher who wants to f*ck their student shit was going on (and that IS creepy, power differences like that in relationships ARE very unhealthy I agree)- now y'all think we're the same person but I really was just curious.

~Anonymous

5. lol, my confession was specifically aimed at the creepy stalker teacher level of behaviour. But go off I guess. I guess telling people to get therapy if they start sliding down that kinda creep ass path is bad now.

~Anonymous

6. I hate how the creepy 30y/o teacher issue has led to people outright denouncing having a sexual attraction towards somebody like THAT IN ITSELF is bad. There are things bad and downright creepy about that particular situation and others like it. Sexual attraction in and of itself is a natural physical reaction we were literally evolved to have as humans and is acceptable in society. Some people are asexual and that's fine but it's creepy how anti-sex some terminally online people have gotten.

~Anonymous

[milkttea]

don't be scared,don't ask to ask for something about the pee oh the poop.

I would like to request a request about a quirkless!college! AU where hawks is an idiot fuckboy scumbag who harasses the reader and bullying him until the reader can not bear it anymore and decides to take revenge (dom!reader,femdom and ¿¿mommy kink i guess??).

few days ago I read some fics(NSFW)so they involve dabi and hawks some of them were misogynous incels and other they 2 bullied the reader,they all have something in common,the reader defends himself and puts them in their place until they're begging and pleading,yes,it involves dom!reader.

and I loved it,it was very satisfactory to read them and I was a little disappointed when I no longer find more fics like this,where the reader does justice by his own hand.

That is why I was looking for a blog with open orders,to ask for more of this content and feel a pleasant satisfaction,but if this is too much for you then ignore it,just let me know.

Idk your pronouns so I’m gonna refer to you as anon,, anon you are too kind to me 🥺

Now for pure filth😈 I saw the request and just OOOOO I BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE I will gladly put hawks in his place like the bratty little bottom he is.

Warnings: NSFW, smut, mommy kink? Mommy kink, hawks being a sub, femdom, no condoms on oops wrap it before you tap it y’all.

(If you want this to be gender neutral it could be read that way too ☺️, Mommy and Daddy can be used for both genders sometimes👀👀)

Everyone is 20+ remember to stay safe everyone!

𝙔𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙏𝙤𝙧𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙞𝙨 𝙈𝙮 𝙂𝙡𝙚𝙚

College wasn’t going to be easy and knowing Takami Keigo, or as he commonly went by Hawks (though you never called him that), only made the experience even worse for you. Having known him for the worst part of four years meant that you’ve seen him through his phases of late high school and early college.

He hasn’t changed much, if his douchebag tendencies and fuck boy antics have anything to say about it. You truly couldn’t stand him and would rather not see his face ever again and you really thought you could escape him, but of course life decided to fuck you over once again and have you both go to the same college.

He would personally make it his mission to tease you about being a prude and boring and never doing anything that would bring any danger. Usually these comments wouldn’t bother you, you’d ignore them for two years already, but something about it irked you even more this time.

So you ignored his existence, no responding to his comments, no yelling at him, nothing. It bothered him more than you knew that his favorite little toy wasn’t responding. This is why he wanted to find you at the school library since he knew you would be there and he was right, of course he was right he’s always right.

He went there during the lunch period when he knew you would be there, it was less crowded and you preferred to be in a quieter place where you could watch whatever without judgement. He spotted you walking into one of the private rooms and made his way over to most likely harass you again as he usually does. However, he was stopped as he noticed a guy that followed after you and shut the door.

Said guy was a friend of yours who also happened to have a common friend with Keigo, he was inviting you to a party that would be happening later that day. Now it was a Friday, so that meant no classes the next day and normally you would decline but considering how stressed you were feeling you decided to give in and accept the invitation.

Your friend had left after telling you about the invite, little did he know he was being watched by Keigo the entire time. Keigo enters your room soon after as you sit at the desk in the room with your lap top open working on your latest assignment. You had your headphones in so you didn’t notice him at first since you were so focused, until his feather necklace went over your screen as he leaned over you.

“So, who was that?”

You raised an eyebrow at him before letting out with annoyance.

“Who was what?”

He just stared down at you, the tension in the room raised with something you couldn’t quite put your finger on. You just didn’t know why he cared so much about who your friend was, not like he was close with you or anything, he was more of a constant annoyance to you if you were being honest.

“Don’t act coy with me (Y/n), who was that guy who was just talking to you?”

You stared at him before letting out a scoff.

“Aw Keigo, that’s so sweet of you to see who I’m interacting with but, it’s none of your business sweetheart,” the pet name had heat rushing through Keigo with the way you said it in such a demeaning way, “now run along before I make you.”

He was frozen if he was being honest, the way you told him off just did something to him, not that you’d notice as you went back to your work. Getting out of his stupor he left the room quietly without a glance in your direction. Odd to say the least, but it was Keigo what else can you expect.

The interaction you’d had hours before had slipped completely from your mind as you were getting ready to go out to the frat party. You got ready pretty quick, not wanting to take too long unless you wanted your friend to drag you out by your hair.

Arriving at the house that the party was at was as you expected, loud and obnoxious with the smell of alcohol and cheap liquor all around. Truly the college experience. That was for the newbies though, there was always a tamer side where the upperclassmen could be and indeed there was.

You soon found yourself nursing a random alcoholic drink that you poured yourself while you chat with some people you were friendly with. Honestly you weren’t expecting much to come out of this, but the universe just loves to ruin your expectations and lo and behold Keigo Takami was here talking to some random girl. Why it bothered you you didn’t know.

Maybe it was because you knew he was a sleaze or the fact that you wished he could some form of humanity towards you. Truly you don’t know.

He makes eye contact with you and by some weird force of nature you follow him to a secluded area in the hallway, you curse inwardly towards yourself for following him. You’re a fool.

“Well if it isn’t (y/n), didn’t know these kinds of party’s were your thing?”

He holds a drink in his hand, most likely a beer of some kind judging from the lack of variety in the drinks that were in the fridge.

“Well I was invited by a friend and it’s not like I had anything to do today, I’m for once caught up with all my work, ‘m actually a little ahead.”

You took a sip from your cup with a slight smack to your lips as you licked away some of the slight residue of your drink. Keigo eyes the way you lick your lips before tilting his head and focusing on your face. You notice as you lift an eyebrow toward him in confusion.

“I can’t figure you out.”

Your eyebrow goes down as you narrow your eyes at him.

“What do you mean?”

He scoffs, as if to say that you should know the answer already.

“I just know there’s got to be something you like about me, maybe not my personality cause it’s shit and I know it, but I just gotta know what you like about me.”

You let out a scoff of your own as you take a tentative sip of your drink once more, eventually letting out a sigh with your response and with an almost regretful statement you continue with your speaking.

“You want me to be honest? You’re hot.”

Keigo, who had been taking a sip as he waited for your response, choked a bit on his drink as he let out coughs. He honestly was not expecting your response, he knew he was attractive but he wasn’t sure if you thought so.

“Really? You really think so?”

“I’m not blind Keigo, your attractive. Honestly if you weren’t such a brat I’d have fucked you already, but for some reason you just hate me.”

His eyes widen and he has to take a moment to double back and think about your words. Just hearing you call him a brat and thinking about you fucking him sends heat straight to his crotch.

“You think I hate you?”

“HA! I know you hate me, why else would you torment me all throughout high school and through college. You would go out of your way to make sure I was just having a shitty time.”

He gets closer to your form and backs you against the wall of the hallway before whispering in your ear with as much breath as he could.

“Maybe I just wanted attention from you,” and with a particularly breathy moan he says, “Mommy.”

You shiver involuntarily and reach back to the back of his head and grab his hair and pull back, hard, drawing a slight moan from the man in front of you.

“Well baby boy, maybe if you would have asked nicely I would have given it to you.”

He lets out a shiver of his own, his knees buckling slightly as you keep a firm grasp on his hair and pull the feather around his neck. The action seems to spur him on as he grabs your waist and lets out an almost silent moan. To anyone else it may have looked like he was crying and that you were comforting him, but oh they should know better.

You place your knee in between his legs and rub it it up and down his growing erection, as he lets out more whines and whimpers.

“I always knew you could be a bottom Keigo,“ you let out with a coo. He just continues to whine and you knew that you needed to do something quick before this went any further in a hallway within a frat house of all places.

“Baby boy,“ he nods, “I need you to listen to me alright? Your going to walk out of this house and wait outside for me and I’m gonna follow in a couple minutes then we’re gonna head out of here together, okay. Then I’m going to take really good care of you, you’d like that right honey?“ 

He lets out a louder whine as you put your hand around his throat to quiet him and then with a last slow rub on his crotch, pushed him off of you in a slightly rough manner. He takes a minute to compose himself and leaves to tell one of his buddy’s that he’s going to head out, not something out of the ordinary since he dips out more often than not.

You stay true to your word and tell one of your friends that you’ve had your fun and decided to head home, they trusted you to be home on your own, you only had the one drink you’d poured yourself. After waving a final goodbye to the small group you were talking to, you head out the door and look for Keigo, finding him hunched over on a bench nearby. You calmly walk over and see him with his dick in hand and stroking it fast.

“Oh baby, you couldn’t wait for me could you? Well sweetheart, you’re gonna be punished for this, but you know that right,” he let out a strangled whine as you took his hand off his cock and put it back in his jeans very softly making him cry out.

Not soon enough you end up back at your house after a very long, not really only 5 minutes at most, uber ride. The poor uber driver, you made sure to tip him more as Keigo had no shame in moaning in your ear about how badly he wanted you and how badly he needed you to touch him and take care of him. The Uber driver put the music up louder after a pointed stare.

After arriving at the house and exiting the car, with a very sorry look to the driver, you entered your house with Keigo trailing painfully behind you. The minute that you were in your house and locked the door, Keigo had pushed you against the wall with his arms next to your head.

“Don’t tease me, little mouse. You and I both know I could easily ruin you,” he says to you as he stares you in the eyes with a flushed face.

You simply stare back and watch him react as you put your hand on his throat and squeezed slightly. He immediately became responsive as his arms slacked and fell to your hips as you put your mouth near his ear and hummed slowly. The action spurred him to drag you through the house as you pointed out the direction of your room.

Once you reach your room you lock the door and tell Keigo to sit on your bed which he immediately does.

“The safe word is peacock, anything you’re not comfortable with tell me now,” he says nothing and repeats the safe word out loud making you nod your head.

“Get on your knees, now.”

He acts quickly as he assumes his position in front of you and waits for further instruction.

“You know Keigo, you’ve caused me a lot of pain, why don’t you make it up to me hm? Can you do that for me baby boy?”

He nods as he pulls down your pants and looks at your underwear, a growing wet spot forming that he kisses and sucks on making you pull his hair from the root slightly. Realizing that you’re getting a lot of pleasure he keeps going, making you moan out his name as he moved your underwear out of the way to pay close attention to your clit.

He continues his motions as he goes lower and licks and sucks there as well as your clit. Bearing your orgasm, you push head against you and hold it there as he keeps going steady and then when you finally release everything you let go of his head. He stops with a gasp as he drinks every bit of you and looks up at you with hazed eyes, looking drunk off of you.

“Look at you, pleasuring mommy like the good little boy you are? Want me to return the favor?”

He nods his head, too deep in sun space to form words and you coo at him.

“Get on the bed and take off everything baby boy.”

Moving quickly Keigo strips and sits on the bed waiting for you to do whatever you want to his body.

You walk to him and straddle him, leaning down to plant kisses on his neck as you leave marks. His moans fill the room and he whines when your hand makes contact with his dick and starts to rub slowly, up and down. Not fast enough for his liking, but he doesn’t voice his complaints not wanting to be punished.

“You’re such a good boy, doing exactly what I want. Do you want to cum, sweetheart?”

He nods fervishly as he moans louder when your thumb rubs the tip and swipes the precum down his shaft.

“Use your words, Keigo.”

He tries to let out a word, but doesn’t get the chance as his voice dies when you massage his balls too. The action making him buck his hips up to get more friction from your hand. You instead squeeze his dick as a warning.

“Naughty boy.”

You slip off the bottom portion of your outfit and sit down on him. Moving up and down slowly as Keigo lays back and pushes his head into the sheets as he moans loudly.

You continue riding his cock as he just moans and lets out grunts of your name. He nears his edge and you figure as his back arches and his dick hits a spot inside you that makes your head go back as your eyes close in pleasure.

“Mommy, mommy please move I’ll be so good to you, please just ride me!”

You chuckle as you do as he says and start bouncing up and down making him get closer and closer to orgasming. You stop moving once you also start to get to your high and he cries as you do so.

“Please, please keep moving!”

At this point he’s crying as tears start falling on the sheets. The sight makes you more horny and you bounce faster as you tell him to thrust up and match your rhythm.

He does so immediately and you find yourself cumming sooner as you use your fingers to mess with your clit and massage your nipples. You clench on Keigo, the sensation of both seeing you visibly tense up and then release has him cum harder than he ever has.

He lets out a series of grunts and moans as he comes down from his high. His hands grab your hips as you stay seated on him and rock slowly to get every drop of him out. A moment of silence passes as you both realize what exactly happened.

Yet, you both don’t mind as you both are in your room panting and waiting for your breaths to calm down. The air has shifted and both of you are glad for it. All those years of sexual tension went into this room and moment and it was euphoria.

[thatbitchsimone]

lmao no sorry i made you more confused, i'm not an actual femcel i just joke about it. i'm a normal 'quirky' girl who's online most of the time and very rarely interacts with men.

actual femcels are really scary, they're not as bad as incels of course but pretty close. i saw plenty of them on here and they all have anime and manga pfp and they post some of the most deranged things i have ever seen. a lot of them call themselves radfems but it's like they never even talk about feminism. instead they shame women who have sex and ironically, are being pretty misogynistic. plus a lot of them have a weird puritan/ trad mindset. it's really hard to describe them because they're really strange, i'd like to study them. i usually don't go into that side of tumblr because i care for my mental health but i accidently stumbled upon some of their blogs

i tried to look for some articles that explain femcels better but the ones that i found make them seem way less insane than how they actually are. there was a blog anonfemmes that femcels interacted with, or something like this but i cant find them anymore so they probably deactivated or blocked me lol

as soon as i read anime pfp i didnt even need more context/information i just instantly understood how deranged they are like i could have stopped reading after that and id still get exactly what kind of person u were talking about

[ecrivainsolitaire]

alright so I know it’s like five years late for this discourse but I’ve got a couple things to say about The Big Bang Theory haters.

Everyone loves to shit on it because “thEy mAkE fUn oF sHeLdOn fOr bEing aUtIsTiC”, and yes, they do.

They also make fun of the Indian guy for being Indian, of the Jew for being Jewish, of the incel for being an incel, and of the blonde for being a blonde.

Now, we could spend all fucking day weighting the moral implications both of those jokes and also the comparison I just made, but what I want to focus on is this:

The Big Bang Theory is the only show I have EVER seen that treats its autistic character the exact same way it treats everyone else.

Sheldon is not the sole focus of the bullying like in pretty much every other autistic character before him. They don’t treat him like a peculiar oddball who’s useful to others like a glorified computer like in Bones or Criminal Minds. They don’t make it a cult of autism like in The Good Doctor. They don’t put a microscope on his psyche to point at him and go “look how weird he is, his family must be suffering” like in Atypical.

Sheldon is bullied because everyone is bullied. Sheldon is an asshole because everyone is an asshole. Sheldon is a victim of his own cluelessness and narcissism because so is every other character.

Sheldon is the only autistic character that is treated like he’s normal.

Does that make the show great? No. Is it progressive for it? No fucking way. Is it the pinnacle of comedy? It never aimed for that.

The Big Bang Theory is a source of comfort not for the quality of the show, or the values it represents, but because Sheldon has the same chances as everyone else to mock and be mocked, to be annoying and be annoyed, to have functioning relationships with his friends and family that don’t revolve around them babying him or using him as a cheap exposition machine or fetishising his intimate thoughts. And yes, he has his quirks that get made fun of, but he shares most of those with all the other main characters. He wears the same clothes all the time? So does Howard. He has strange quirky interests nobody gives a shit about? So does Raj. He sucks at interacting with women? So does Leonard. He depends too much on his friends’ generosity? So does Penny. He’s bossy? So is Bernadette. He oversteps social boundaries? So does Amy.

The Big Bang Theory is a cheap, stupid sitcom that happens to have an autistic character. It does not treat him in any special way, neither positively nor negatively. And I’ll sit here on my ass defending it until any haters can point to me a better show that does the same thing.

[greaterlandscapes]

My Dean Blunt Rotation aka High Fidelity Left A Bad Taste in My Mouth

For the past 2 to 3 months, my listening habits were teetering to an end; mostly via burnout by spontaneously listening to local artists daily and less likely of a musical discovery drought, whereas my interests of a certain artist or genre hasn't found its, sort of, "eureka", moment per se. I've been feeling less enthusiastic over the things i listen to since my friends have gradually lost their flare when it comes to discovering/exploring untapped parts of the music realm. Thus, in return, my enthusiasm not being reciprocated. It leaves an empty feeling from someone who has been yearning social interaction, may it be media being latched on the topic - it's a feeling that's been guilt-tripping me ever since I was stranded in the other end of the metro. I feel closed off, exposed to the crippling loneliness the lockdown has punished us: a defacto solitary confinement in a national level. Our act of staying online is also an act of staying alive outside.

To be fair though, it's a valid move to not boomerang compliments/gripes over an art you haven't consumed due to someone's autonomy. Your able body being to consume the art you wish to finish with free time is a luxury in of itself. The art is then failed to serve its purpose to reach its goal: You have squiggly lines heading straight to oblivion rather than swirling in the earlobes of a wandering cyber nomad. We, eventually, need to find something that could help us exit, rather than escape, from capital. We, in return, do not shut ourselves from the outside. Instead, we then tend to avoid the stress of protocols and outdoor fascism; Not avoid the indoor liberalism that is eating us alive and online. It's a capital punishment we never knew we signed up for ever since the onslaught of the virus and the state. Art for art's sake is nonexistent now, always has been, it seizes to ever since we went inside. Feeding off of a holographic meatloaf coming from a glowing screen. We have a real-life Karen acting as a nightlight in our rooms.

The COVID lockdown made us listen to music — both for better, for worse. For one, it made us pass most days. You could say the same for any sort of media: film, mixed media art, or whatever pre-Covid activity that sprung up during our time in isolation. For music, however, there was an uptick of new listeners that made others Wheel-of-Fortune the fuck out of their music discoveries in sites like RateYourMusic, Bandcamp, or even Sophie's Floorboard. We've continued to expand and became more open change of opinions and be less of a jackass towards someone else's opinions. On second thought, our opinions have been catalogued, leaving more notes than actual footprints of our previous listens. Our new discoveries made new bands and re-emerging bands, bands who faded to obscurity, crawl back in the surface with newfound interest from younger listeners (ie Panchiko, Jai Paul, and Dean Blunt) and this glowing, previously unseen and unexpected overwhelming support from fans of departed artists (ie SOPHIE, MF DOOM)

For the other, we've hogged gratuitous amounts of media, resulting into losing our primary direction as to how we want to consume our media based on the preconceived notions of what we want in our art. There is goodness in becoming directionless when you think about it, but there comes a cost to our identity as music listeners. Instead, we end up widening our tangents, falling in endless rabbit holes, having zero chances to emerge from the surface. In fact, i refuse to call it a "rabbit hole" instead i'd rather call it a "pipeline" of sorts — transitioning casual music fans into a full on, different, unique versions of themselves that would define them when laws and protocols have eased in the outside world. Our act of staying online has either made most of us break our character or enliven our past selves. The music pipeline is now more apparent, stretching the norms of what was once alienated by a silent majority, but now accepted as an acceptable form of expression. The more music we are exposed to has made casual listeners stranged out or react in ways that our personality have betrayed us or deemed not as acceptable to them. Still, not changing anything that was prominent pre-pandemic. Liberal cop behavior is stronger, now more dangerous than it ever was once perceived by the outside world.

HIGH FIDELITY? NO, THANK YOU.

Imagine a situation inside of a record, pre-pandemic of course, where you do not feel like lifting a record out from the shelf, instead, you window shop just for the sake of windowshopping. Capital and media made us think that going to record shops is a semi-productive activity. The age of discovery has died ever since High Fidelity romanticized and normalized the incelage of horny record diggers. Does this movie age well, yeah sure it does, for old 90s nerds at least. But did it translate well over in the past 20 or more years of events and tragedies that unfolded in pre-9/11 America? No it didn't. It was an age of free expression, only liberals would dream of whenever they take a sip of Guinness beer in their favorite dive bar.

Mind you, over a couple of months ago, it was my only chance in seeing why this movie was the talk of the town back when it was released. There's music, yeah, and attractive leading leadies, yeah, it has everything a 90s kid would love to salivate and drop their gonads over while they watch this movie. I obviously did not live to see the movie on opening day but i could imagine the scent that came out of that movie theater with attendees donning windbreakers and The Who shirts with popcorn dressing stains on their plastic cups. If there was a Filipino counterpart to this movie, i'd bet corporate champions Eraserheads and Rivermaya would soundtrack their music over and have either Tado or have Boy 2 Quizon, but i sense it to age like milk more than it could age like fine wine due to the senseless jokes one can execute in a Cubao or Cartimar record store.

John Cusack is obviously the incel in question here: a damaged, vengeful ex who constantly fails to live his partner's expectations and weaponizes his personality over the situations that has nothing to do with his interests. I spent the entire time being absolutely disgusted over the spineless responses of John Cusack's leading character. The movie then treads on flashbacks with John Cusack's failed relationships and what he could do to move on from each and one of them. If i could stand a SONA for 3 hours then I can't stand John Cusack being the dull entry point to incel, making more reasons why you should hate record store clerks who don't give an iota of shits to someone's inviting rapport. High Fidelity is opium for massive music circle jerks who can't take a single breathe of fresh air or a single quota of touching grass. There's more targeting weak and inferior guys and hot women who dump dumb overconfident dudebros more than the actual "music recs" in the entire movie. The more I think about this movie, the more I realize how our personality is in line towards Dick, the record store being unmercifully dunked on by the movie's two leading characters. He's an angel in the world of cynical bastards, witnessing both demons pitchforking record store customers in the ass while they're purchasing the latest Sonic Youth album.

I believe that Jack Black, the dark horse of High Fidelity, has a pleasing personality more than an irritating demeanor due to this behavior in the record store. In fact, outside of the record store, Jack Black doesn't seem to take the business is your pleasure act pretty seriously. Unlike John Cusack's character he brought his obsession over involving a record in an important memory/point of his life. There is so much stuff that has happened outside of the record store, so much for Rolling Stone and NME being the bible of music at the time, endlessly christening and shilling artists that believe to become the second coming of the Beatles. The music references here however are treated as fluff than it is a mechanism that would drive the senseless plot forward. If anything, there are events pointed out in the event that doesn't have anything to do with the life of the characters.

If anything, this movie did a great job at capturing the feeling of music bros being dumped on the wayside by a mature set of characters and how their current conditions aren't perfumed by the studios' liking of having to Cinderella story the shit out of a bunch of normal record store owners. The reality is in the reaction of one's social capital being invaded and we're here to witness how those reactions panned out in 2021. This is a villainous depiction of music nerds being the salt of the earth, the bane of all media discussion, still reflective of the insufferable salt of cyberspace found in music forums like 4chan and RYM. High Fidelity is a pipeline of 90s musicology, a dreaded fever dream of an owner waiting for the decade to end, trends ossifying and re-emerged by the hands of nostalgia-savvy individuals. It was, at its time, every music-movie nerd's excuse equivalent of Scott Pilgrim VS. The World. There are memories worth remembering and cherishing, and this movie isn't one of them.

DEAN BLUNT, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

In the past two weeks I've been fancying myself into sitting down and listening to different projects from the ever elusive, UK-based sound artist Dean Blunt. The first time i chanced upon his music wasn't too long ago - albeit a recent one in the time of COVID - was when I randomly stumbled upon his records at a Spotify recommendations section under John Maus (yeah lol i know the implications whenever his name is mentioned) - but then i was enamored by his online presence so quickly I put everything down and dedicated an hour or two researching about this man's music.

Other than the fact that his album "The Redeemer" wasn't the best record to start off in journeying through his discography: ending up disgusted and borderline bored even and I was more likely to lambast this record's aimless, pretentious art-pop inflections. By the end of the day, it was a preference long solidified by his undying fanbase. According to his hardcore fans, the music isn't really music, evaluating it as a free form of sound art, rather than sticking to a structured and conventional cues; the genre is nullified by most analysts of the arts. The growing interest of the general public towards Dean Blunt's pranks and antics have long appealed to my tastes as a chaotic neutral individual. Pranks that are well executed to piss off UK gallery connoisseurs and entertain ironic attendees who'd shit on the art piece rather than participate in it.

More of the resources I've found about Dean Blunt online: numerous aliases and collaborations that lasted around almost 2 decades. The most notable of all them, at least for my money, are either Hype Williams, a duo consisting of Dean and frequent collaborator Inga Copeland, and Babyfather, an art performance parodizing the pirate radio culture in the UK. I have not delved enough in Blunt's body of work to evaluate everything and what i could synthesize from it. For now, I enjoyed it as a form of entertainment. Well, color me impressed because Dean Blunt isn't clowning around, he, in fact, makes blissful and transcendental music from left to right.

Dean Blunt was the only few artists that made me want to binge on their discography. His movements in his music has attracted this pesky listener who thinks that being mysterious is a plus. I mean, look at me who thinks The Paul Institute, Panchiko, and Burial are the greatest artists that have walked the face of the earth.

The most I've enjoyed from Dean Blunt's discography are his mixtapes and collaborations: preferably his Soul Fire and ZUSHI, both of which were packaged as B-sides or supplemental releases rather than major releases such as the Babyfather project or the Black Metal releases. His knack for blurring the lines between genres still fascinate me as of this writing, and it continues to amaze me how he doesn't seize to compromise his art, he's here to prove a point and it sells quite well despite the lack of direction in his music. Blunt's music has more aggressive and hazy texture than the hollow, wide, soulless structure of art-pop/hypnagogic pop released today. He creates terrains from the rubble of his country's current shortcomings. The music overlaps the actual intentions with abstract concepts, becoming deconstructed down the line. In Babyfather, noise music coincides with Blunt's amateurish rapping. In Black Metal, Blunt isolates himself along with the assisted skeletal guitar playing. Both projects throwing all tropes in a vaccum alongside Blunt, who he himself would sought to become a personification of a musical void.

--

(Excerpt from the Babyfather album review in TinyMixtapes)

--

Dean Blunt is an entity that wishes to become one person, but no, this isn't a figure in a specific art form; this isn't Banksy, this isn't Bob Ong, this is made by one person, clearly it is if you listen closely, and it's been entrancing me ever since his presence was felt on the horizons of the internet. Dean Blunt, what the actual fuck.

[yakumtsaki]

Well guys, it’s that time of year again. To recap, Jojo is still not a werewolf, Wyatt has shattered every record of incompetence and still not reached the top of his career, noogiesexual Shajar got dumped by Sophie Miguel and befriended a vampire, Cyneswith continues to date black-lipstick-broken-face-template flop Don Oates, Wulf grew up in the most iconic outfit of all time, and we got a new cat named Alcibiades for D’vorah to mate with since she refused to have kittens with poor Sweets. So let’s pick up right where we left off, which is of course the endless battle of getting D’vorah to procreate..

-Come on sweetie, we got a new boy toy just for you, get on with it, you’re almost an elder!

-NEVER! I’m a direct descendant of Zoroaster’s cat herself, I’ll never sully my bloodline with the genetic material of some pound mutt! You find me an appropriate mate before I go full Henry VIII!

STOP MIXING HISTORICAL REFERENCES AND FUCK ALCIBIADES ALREADY. His name undercuts my point but still.

-Do we have any custom blue fur paint for my balls?

ALCIBIADES SHUT UP. You assholes are by far the worst generation of pets yet, the two cat losers are bad enough but then add fucking Maxx to the mix-

-AND FORGET ABOUT IT. Look who’s getting along all of a sudden! 

-Yes, now that it’s become clear that this cat legacy shitshow is crumbling, I’ve stopped beating up the cats because I will look like a bully kicking them while they’re down. It’s part of my image revamp to get the audience behind a dog legacy! 🐶

Maxx, nothing personal, but I hate you more than you can possibly imagine. Let’s check in with the humans, I’m sure they will be totally normal, likable and stable as always-

-I can see your beating heart with my x-ray vision. I want to eat it. 

-Yay, let my sister eat your heart! 💗

-Stop patronizing me, you little bitch, I can get my own hearts to eat. 

-I just get excited when we do things together! 💗

-GAWD GTFO CYNESWITH, you’re ruining my Aztec sacrifice!!! 

-Ah, to be middle aged and in love, with your terrible children about to fuck off to college at any minute.. Looking at you, Wulf. Literally looking at you. 

Somehow that is already enough checking in with the humans for one update?

-HAHA I GOT YOU! GIMME IT!! YOU DON’T EVEN NEED IT

-LEAVE MY HEART ALONE, SHAJAR, I KEEP TELLING YOU IT’S A VITAL ORGAN

-No it’s not, the paper that got my father kicked out of the mad scientist association said so! 

They hated Jojo because he told them the truth.

These two are actually getting along great and I get my hopes up that Shajar will stop being a literal incel! Let’s all join together in prayer-

-Did someone say ‘prayer’?

GODDAMMIT SOPHIE YOU HAVEN’T SHOWED UP AT ALL AND YOU CHOOSE THIS MOMENT TO MAKE YOUR GHOST DEBUT?? FUCK OFF  

-HAHA I was waiting for a situation where my appearance would hinder the biggest amount of sin!!!!

UGH you’ve gotten even more religious in death?!

-Of course I have, what do you think heaven does to your faith?

How the fuck are you both in heaven and wandering the earth as an apparition?

-My spirit takes earth vacations to cockblock! 

Well at least you’re dying how you lived: pissing me off. 

And of course Maxx goes in for the kill with his ‘good doggie’ routine, terminally distracting Blueshirt Whatshername from Shajar’s heart-eating charms. As always, big thanks to our pets, both alive and dead.

End of the road, Shajar! Enjoy this dancing scholarship that you hilariously earned during all the outings I forced you into to get rid of your incelitude.

As Shajar leaves for college a kissless noogiesexual, I decide to try and solve at least one of my problems, and that problem is called Don fucking Oates. So we call Lakshmi back, hoping she has forgiven me for our last tense interactions-

-I have not.

Wow ok well now you’re just being petty, you saddled me with Don Oates, don’t be a sour winner. Now is there anyone out there that can potentially beat Cyneswith and Don’s natural 3 bolts???

-Nop. 

LAKSHMI COME ON, YOU’RE NOT LOOKING HARD ENOUGH

-I’m telling you, there isn’t anyone else, they’re a perfect match!

Well I refuse to accept that reality, so hit us with your best shot.

-Whatever, it’s your money.

I mean technically it’s Jojo’s and maybe I shouldn’t be spending it so freely..

-Daddy wouldn’t have a problem with it! 💗

Yea he sure wouldn’t, Cyn, since he’s literally this post.

IS THAT ANOTHER TRICOU LOVECHILD AND THE LAMEST ONE TO BOOT???

-Yup.

HARD PASS. 

-Je suis back et je non get prόmόted agàin! :D

Another hugely successful day for Wyatt as usual. Honestly as long as you don’t get fired or demoted for a third time, whatever.

-Sό je can go to sleepé?? :D

Yea sure, it’s not like there’s anything for you to do around here now that the kids have grown up. Not that you ever did anything to begin with-

-Oui oui, all tres fascinàting, bonne nuit now!

Oh actually wait, I do need you to do something before you go to sleep for 16 hours.

-Quoi???

-Ohh, le pόrtait de le morté!

Le portrait de le morte indeed. Jojo is predictably super into his death portrait being painted, as one is. Seriously what are you doing.

-Composing a tragic opera about myself, what else.

On a casio??

-I could afford a concert piano but it wouldn’t fit into this pathetically tiny house you built, would it?

Ok I get where you’re coming from, but in my defense, given your youthful days, who the fuck could had anticipated you evolving into a financially successful and mentally stable adult instead of a bankrupt lunatic that eats his own feces?

-Oui, that’s what Shajàr est going to be! Huhu!

-HAHAHAHA oh Wyatt, you’re so attractive when you’re insulting our two terrible children. Where is that little goblin anyway?

Omfg you assholes, she went off to college yesterday.

-She did??? About time! One down, one to go. If only Cyneswith could stay here forever :(

-Oui :(

-________-

Speaking of, let’s try this one more time. Lakshmi please, for the love of god, give us something I can work with. 

-Alright fine, you wore me down. Ask..

-..and you shall receive.

OMG YAS RICKY CORMIER, I LOVE HIM AND HIS FACE TEMPLATE. What the fuck are you wearing, Rick? Don’t dress up on our account. 

-I was teleported here right from work, where the fuck am I???

That’s a great question Rick, you’re in our front yard on a date with our resident 10 nice points freakshow, Cyneswith. And I see that you have 7 nice points to Don’s 4, so you crazy kids just go ahead and hit it right off now!

-Not if I have anything to do with it!

VICTOR NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR GHOST BINGO, FUCK OFF

-It’s always the time for ghost bingo.

I try my best to make this date go well but Ricky isn’t into Cyneswith AT ALL. It’s honestly pretty offensive and I hate him now. 

‘I’ve had better dates’, you’re like 15, Casanova, calm down. What a twerp. 

With that last doomed attempt to break her and Don up, the time has come for Cyneswith to fuck off to college as well, and yes, Don is coming with us to be endlessly cheated on by Miss 20 Simultaneous Lovers/Grey Hair turn on. Fuck both mine and Don’s lives. 

As if my failure to perform a Donectomy wasn’t bad enough, what does Wyatt get the day he’s finally guaranteed to be promoted, BUT ANOTHER FUCKING CHANCE CARD, WITH WHICH HE HAS A 2 OUT OF 2 FLOPPING SCORE. One of them got him demoted, the other got him fired, it took us forever to get him the 9 fucking friends he needed, so this is just terrific. Istg I could go to a police academy in real life, graduate, join the force, rise up through the ranks and become a superhero in less time than it has taken Wyatt to do it. Here goes nothing but Wyatt’s hopes and dreams..

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FINALLY

F I N A L L Y. 

OMFG.

I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS SHIT WAS LEGIT HARDER THAN KOMEI’S 6 PETS CAREER ONE, FUCKING HELL WYATT.

What a sight for sore eyes. 2 days before elderhood, but we did it, mon bebe! I’m so proud of us, but mainly me, for not giving up and making you a househusband which I know realize I should had done, because you’re so gonna destroy this city. 

-Je will savé la city! First ordér of enterprisé, àpprehending le killér seriàl knόwn as Dr. Gingér Violetté! ⭐

Oh boy. Good luck with that!

[blackcatanna]

Maybe the reason that the heterosexual relationships in Death Note are all so terrible is because everyone's secretly extremely gay. Just my 5am insomnia thoughts :)

Seriously, though, all of Light's interactions with women are horrendous. I don't think I need to elaborate.

Raye Penber tells his much smarter fiance to pipe down because her only purpose from now on is to be his wife and that she'll quit the habit of having these pesky thoughts once she has lots of babies.

Doesn't Aizawa's wife assault him at one point? Pretty sure he shows up at one point with bruises like, "Oh, this? Just been arguing with my wife!" and everyone's just like, "Ah, I see. That is fine and normal."

I guess that Light's parents have a fairly wholesome relationship until Soichiro is brutally gunned down.

However, I feel like a lot of the female characters would be much stronger if they weren't defined by their terrible relationships with the men in the story.

Anyway, from now on, I'm headcannoning most Death Note characters as LGBT+. I don't normally headcannon characters' sexualities but this series has left me with no choice. It has so much untapped gay potential. IN FACT, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, I WILL SHIP CHARACTERS TOGETHER. THIS SERIES HAS LEFT A HUGE VOID OF DECENT ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS AND SO HAD FORCED ME TO PAIR CHARACTERS TOGETHER MYSELF. THIS SHALL BE MY TUMBLR BAPTISM. Disclaimer: the following ships are not to be taken too seriously. It is now 5:20am and I may be going slightly mad.

L and Light. I mean... COME ON!???

Takeda and Lidner. Takeda CLEARLY knew what she was doing when she hired Lidner and Lidner seems to be able to handle bitches, as evidenced by her (non-romantic) relationship with Mello.

Near and Minoru. Near seems so bored and lonesome in the one shot. I feel like he and Minoru could learn from each other. If Minoru was still alive, they could team up. Now I want to see this :( ... Damn...

Misa and Rem. Rem dies to save Misa! Rem is the only one who cares for Misa unselfishly! It's like a gay version of Beauty and the Beast OR IT COULD HAVE BEEN IF PEOPLE WEREN'T COWARDS! Rem is such a perfect foil for Misa's hyper personality. Tbh, though, anyone's better than Light. Well... Maybe not Higuchi...

Mello and Matt. Because why not? Don't tell me they've never tried it! And don't tell me they didn't love it!

Mikami and no one, because he's an incel.

Sayu and Misa. Aside from her ridiculous and humiliating obsession with Light, Misa has a pretty cute personality. Perhaps after everything that's happened, she spends time with Sayu and they bond over their shared trauma. Not 100% on this one because Sayu's personality is basically "Me like shoes. Me no like thinking. Me just a girl. Oh no, I kidnapped!" So I don't exactly have a lot to work with... Maybe they can just be friends!

Ide and Aizawa. Mostly because Ide's special stat is 1/10 for romantic luck and so I felt like I had to ship him with someone! Also, Aizawa needs to get out of whatever abusive relationship he's in. These two have a great bond and would make a wonderful pair of gay dads. Definite bromance here. Could it be love?

Wedy and Naomi meet in heaven or in an au where they're still alive and bond over their experiences with L and being KICK ASD QUEENS. Do these two have any canonical interactions? NO. Do I give a fuck? HELL NO. That fact is a crime and I am here to remedy it with the power of my imagination. I honestly think that they'd be great together. I feel like Wedy has a strong, quite dominating personality but really respects smart people (like L and Naomi). Wedy would LISTEN to Naomi, unlike a certain dead fiance... Listening and respect may not equal love but it's a good fucking start X_X

Aiber and Matsuda. WOULD THIS NOT BE GREAT?! Aiber would totally get Matsuda into and out of so much trouble... Of course, Matsuda would be like, "Whoa! Crime is wrong!" but would be totally unable to resist Aiber's coolness and charm.

Ugh, now I just want a spinoff of Matsuda and Aiber getting into shenanigans together. X_X

Gonna stop pairing people now, 'cause being single is great and fine (I happen to be an authority on that subject). Gee, I didn't realise that I had this many ships in me...