#the most ironic thing is that I like literally every other combo between those four lol

[redstarfish-art]

I’m starting to think that I’m just going to have to accept that everyone who likes my YGO rarepairs also like thiefshipping...

[yue-muffin]

I finished Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance for the first time and wow, am I impressed. Having only played the 3DS era games and started Sacred Stones recently, I came to expect a certain range of quality and reach in terms of story. There are games that I found not overly complex but executed well (Echoes) and ones with a good premise and sloppy execution (Fates). Sacred Stones, so far, is one I find with a simple story done well. I’m not terribly enthralled with it, but there’s nothing there to annoy me either.

Path of Radiance is one of those games that takes the ‘simple/standard FE plot’ path, but the execution is brilliant, filled with both depth and heart despite the story having the same basic beats as many other FEs. I was really impressed with the worldbuilding, the character writing, the gameplay/story integration...

My biggest gripe with Awakening and Fates was that the characters were colorful, but few of them were compelling and many lacked the depth to take them beyond their archetypes. Path of Radiance did a good job making me feel that its characters all had a stake in the outcome of the battles, that they had an actual cause to fight for and didn’t just join the army just because. There is always a bit of contrivance in an FE game, but the quality of the writing can lessen or emphasize that feeling.

The gameplay mechanics change from game to game, and I find it really fun to test out the unique features of each installment and see how they influenced each other. the shoving animations are amazing

People also say this is one of the easiest FE games and I have to say, the bonus exp mechanic is probably why. I love this mechanic because of the way it allows the game to reward the player for taking certain actions encouraged by the story (like wanting to spare as many of the enemy as possible = we’ll give you bonus exp if you do). I, uh, am never doing a stealth run of the prison break chapter again though.

I went ultra vanilla and restricted myself to using only the Greil Mercenaries for this run, and I’ll leave my impressions on this post because half the fun of a FE game is building up your team.

I went with the Greil Mercenaries (+ Mia, because she joins them for the second game) for my first playthrough because otherwise I would have no reason to use both Rolf AND Shinon at the same time and Rhys would just warm the bench the whole game lol. And I was really curious to see Rolf and Shinon’s support line and actually have a use for all of those light magic tomes.

Ike: My Ike didn’t get screwed over in any stat, so absolutely no complaints other than the fact that he refused to proc Aether more than once in the Black Knight fight, making Nasir bail him out at the end of the allotted turns. I supported him with Soren because I wanted to see their support line, and have to say that it worked out really well. I was between Soren and Oscar, but it worked better this way because Oscar was always riding off with Titania at the front and Ike just lags behind unless you dedicate several units + Reyson to shoving him to the frontline. And when you’re using Mist, Rolf, and Soren, that really cuts into the units available for shoving.

Oscar: He, uh, ended up the MVP and netted the most kills in the run. Oscar can become an amazing paladin, but mine was so screwed in the strength stat for much of the early game that I had to abuse the bexp mechanic at the base to ensure he didn’t keep lagging behind. His defenses were super good by the end, and the little damage he did take was mitigated by activating Sol every other hit. Also, I have a bias for calvary units, so. Oscar. Loved him.

Titania: I...I love Titania. I love her character. She plays her role perfectly as the super strong unit who is there to support you in the beginning and falls off a little towards the end. She can still hold her own in the endgame, however, and I have no regrets for relying on her early on. There is so much experience to be had in normal mode that she doesn’t really rob anyone else of it unless you go ham and let her destroy everything. In the end, I gave her Savior so she can help deliver chip damage and save Shinon’s ass, I mean, rescue drop people.

Boyd: Super frustrating and nerve wracking to train, super hard hitter who still keeps you on your toes by the end. He is the most lopsided unit I have ever used (comparatively low defenses, speed, and skill compared to his attack and HP) but he was definitely fun and made sure I didn’t get too complacent. I don’t normally use fighters/axe units in the modern games because their accuracy is shit, their defenses are even more shit, and why bother with the headache. Once you can forge Boyd a good iron axe, though, his performance becomes more consistent. I did keep Tempest on him for a while, because I find it fun to use the skills a unit comes with, but I took it off eventually. It does help in certain situations when his hit rate isn’t so good (having the biorhythm doubled then is helpful).

Soren: I have a bias for this little asshole, lol. He’s a standard mage, basically. Kind of annoying to train in the beginning because he can barely take a hit, his movement is low, and MAGIC MAKES THE EMULATOR CRASH SOMETIMES, but if you can stick it out, you’ll be rewarded in the end with a unit that doesn’t care about how physically bulky any enemy is and can take down dragons with ease (plus, he heals A LOT because of his high magic stat even with a basic heal staff). I will admit, he’s a walking liability if Ike isn’t his support partner and magic in this game is slightly annoying because each element has its own weapon rank. He basically ate all of my Arms Scrolls because he has FOUR ranks to build (including the staff rank) and all of them have their uses, so I didn’t have him concentrate in one or the other. Although he gets weighed down by a lot of tomes because he is a twig, mine capped speed and didn’t have a problem doubling the dragons in the endgame with Thoron.

Rhys: One of the reasons I did a Greil Mercenaries run haha. He’s not a bad healer. It’s just that there’s benefit to training Mist as your main healer for that one fight later on, and having a team with THREE HEALERS is overkill (unless for whatever reason you made one of your mages use knives...). The problem is that while Soren can take a hit and Mist can run away, Rhys can do neither. His magic stat is very good though, and he was objectively better than my Mist by the end except that he wasn’t on a horse. He was really useful for the endgame since I gave him the Purge tome. Finally, he didn’t have to risk his neck to actually fight. I lowkey love his character though. 

Mist: She is so cute, but mine was so screwed in the stats department. If not for bexp, it would have been a nightmare to train her and Rhys at the same time. I early promoted both of them, but getting her to level 10 was hard. Mine ended up getting magic on so few level ups, that I gave her two spirit dusts by the endgame and it was still amazingly low. Her strength stat was 13. 13!! I love the horse, though. Makes her a lot easier to use once promoted. She has no shoving capabilities, though, whereas Rhys (frail, sickly man he is) can shove like half the army. Go figure.

Mia: I love Mia. She can have my heart and run with it. In newer games I tend not to use mercenaries/swordmasters because their movement is kind of eh, their dodge-tank capabilities are not that impressive, and I don’t like relying on crits too much, but Mia was such an awesome addition to the team. It can be a bit difficult to train her in the beginning given her low defense, HP, and strength, but once she gets going, she wrecks things like nobody’s business. Would have liked to do some Wrath combos with her, but mine had Vantage and Adept and that worked just fine with a Killing Edge or a forged sword of some sort. The only issue is her super low strength cap (22?? really??) but the reliability of her crits and/or skill procs make up for that if you can get her past the early game.

Rolf: ROLF. Literally only viable because of bexp. I actually really love how they wrote his character, but what were they thinking by making him join so late, with such low bases AND his strength growth isn’t even that good (40%, less than Oscar’s). All else could be forgiven if his strength growth was at least 50% like his speed. If you can’t actually do damage, there’s no point. Once you pour exp into him like nobody’s business, he can actually be a good unit. I do really like using him, and mine got enough defense and resistance that he wasn’t a liability, but he definitely needs investment. On the other hand, his hit rates were so good that Gamble actually worked well on him.

Shinon: The racist asshole whose only redeeming quality is his relationship with Rolf. I loved their support chain, and actually I do like how the game put him on our team (after giving you a hard time recruiting him) because of how it brings an element of realism makes these characters more human, but yikes he’s potentially worse than Rolf to train because of how long he’s gone for. If you put aside the need for even more bexp to use him, he’s a pretty good crit unit. And he can surprisingly take a hit once trained. I left Provoke on him and BOY he nearly got himself killed in the endgame, but it is pretty nice to draw aggro in order to get some enemies closer for the foot-locked units to kill.

Gatrie: I miss tanks. Newer games make them so much less fun to use because they don’t tank very well (I’m looking at you, Fates...). Gatrie can’t get places fast and only laguz can shove him, but it was fun having someone who can take a million hits and soften enemies up for the others to take care of. He can’t really one round anything because he can’t double and leaves them with a few hit points left (except if he procs Luna) but he’s a worth while addition to the team. Takes a bit of bexp though, since he often doesn’t get as many kills as the rest.

Reyson: Not a Greil Mercenary, but like I was going to pass up a dancer singer who can refresh FOUR units. It was a pain in the behind to get the Knight Ring, but he does make really good use of it. He can also use the Full Guard ring so he can enter certain areas without being murdered by ballistas. I love his bird form, and the fact that frail heron man can SHOVE people who the tiny people in my army can’t (Mist, Rolf, Soren, I’m looking at you). no but really, Reyson’s character is actually really good too, I like him. 

It was, uh, interesting getting through some of these chapters without a flier. Absolutely not necessary to have one, and if it was a chapter where I kind of needed someone, I just used Tanith or Janaff (the Naesala chapter was the only one that was annoying without a trained flier).

I genuinely had no idea who to stick skills on, haha. This was an interesting system where you really had to think about who to give a skill since they’re like old TMs in Pokemon...one use only. I like to have some limitations in the skill system though, unlike Awakening and Fates where it’s a free for all. I just like the more limited set of options.

[murasaki-murasame]

Ieyasu came for my saving-for-Gala-Luca throat and I still managed to get him with 100 of my 250-ish saved up sommons >:3c

Now to go back into saving-for-Gala-Luca mode. After the absolute nightmare that was the Gala Elly banner, I’m not taking any risks this time.

Anyway, more about my summons under the cut [TL;DR: I got more than I even wanted, and also if anyone’s feeling iffy on this banner I just wanna let you know that Chitose is basically Light!Emma and he’s probably the best new unit on the entire banner lmao]

The last few weeks of events were really generous and got me all the way up to 250 or so saved summons, and after seeing that Ieyasu was gonna be featured on this banner along with like four other units I was terrified that it wouldn’t be enough to get him, and that I’d be left with no real chance of getting Gala Luca afterward, but then I got Ieyasu after 100 summons so we’re all good, lol. Let’s just say that once I saw that rainbow blade every single muscle in my body was clenched as I faced the imminent coin toss between getting Ieyasu and Nobunaga. And thankfully I got what I wanted in the end.

I also got two copies of Mitsuhide, who I didn’t really care one way or another about, but now I have her, lmao. I honestly don’t even think she’s worth pulling for since she only seems somewhat better than Fleur, but I’m happy to have her.

The most surprising part of this banner was that I randomly got my first copy of Yaten, which I’m EXTREMELY happy about. His banner was one of the first times [along with Ieyasu, ironically] where I really felt bad about not managing to pull him while he was featured, so I’m happy he finally came home. I was seriously considering dream summoning him in the future, and now I don’t have to. I’ll probably still be dream summoning Delphi soon, though, since Cygames is doing everything in their power to make me regret initially thinking he was a bad character, lol. So yeah this banner gave me the two 5-star shadow unit dudes who I’d missed out on previously so that’s pretty nifty. I think the only shadow 5-stars I’m missing now are Summer Verica, Delphi, and I guess Veronica but I’m not really counting limited units. And out of those three I only really care about Delphi since I already have Heinwald and Gala Cleo.

I got Chitose really early in my summons, and it almost made me contemplate stopping there, but I decided to keep going until I got Ieyasu. Which thankfully happened without me using all of my summons. I do think that Chitose is the real gem of this banner, but Ieyasu’s new mana spiral upgrade also makes him noteworthy again.

I thought that maybe at most Chitose would be a light version of DY-Xanfried, but nope he’s literally a light version of Emma, lol. I thought Cygames wouldn’t put such a powerful unit behind a limited banner, but here we are. Light continues to suffer from having most of their good units being limited. At least this whole banner makes me feel a bit better about not having gotten DY-Malora.

I was kinda worried about the idea of Chitose being a curse-res light wand, since I feel like endgame curse-res light content is kinda punishing toward ranged units, but they pretty much specifically designed his kit to make him super tanky, with his +20% defense passive and his 30% Max HP shield on his S2, lmao. At least if you use Chocolatiers or something on him, using those two together is probably enough to get past HZD’s HP check, so he might actually become a really good, accessible meta unit for that fight. But in general as a strength buffbot he’s pretty much automatically one of the best light units already.

On the other hand I think Hanabusa is probably going to be inferior to Yachiyo until he hopefully gets a mana spiral upgrade that fixes his partial curse res and gives his kit some new elements to make him shine. But I think if he can get that upgrade later [or if he can manage to get by with a curse res print in HZD], he might be really good. It’s hard to tell how good his kit as a whole is at the moment, but I like that he has team strength buffs built into his kit, and some pretty high buff time increases based on his S1 skill shift.

We’ll see how it shakes out, but I feel like Mitsuhide probably isn’t going to completely erase Fleur from the meta. It’s not quite like the Thaniel-Jiang Ziya situation, since Fleur is still super strong on her own, and I feel like Mitsuhide doesn’t provide much more aside from higher stats as a 5-star.

I’m basically forcing myself to not care about Nobunaga so that i can resist the completionist urge to keep pulling for her to have her in my collection just because she exists, so I’m just going to think of her as a unit that I can live without, for my own sanity, lmao. But honestly she doesn’t stand out a whole lot, at least not after all the massive buffs the flame roster just got. Her buff dispels don’t seem very special now that Euden and Naveed can do that too, and the unique debuff on her S1 kinda seems like . . . a worse version of bleed, lol.

Daikokuten seems like a good dragon, but I’m not gonna bother chasing after him since I got Cupid a while ago and I’m working on unbinding him. He seems like he provides more raw strength than Cupid if you can maintain a high combo count, but Cupid’s heal and crit rate buff pretty much ensure that he’s still going to be a highly valued dragon in the long run, so I’m fine if I don’t get the new one.

I honestly might have done the platinum dragon summon once if it was a thing where you got a guaranteed copy of Daikokuten each time, but it’s literally just ‘you get one of the 5-star dragons and Daikokuten has the exact same appearance rate as the rest of them’, which is basically useless to me. Same with the adventurer one, but I wasn’t going to pull on that anyway since i don’t care for the two new 5-stars. I can tell that they’re trying to give people a bit more incentive to spend money on this game, but I think it’s only worth it if you’re a super new player who barely has any 5-stars at all. Some people will probably do the adventurer one because they really like the new banner units, I guess, but it’s a horrible deal.

Also on the note of Nobunaga, I’m kinda disappointed that she’s just the Year of the Horse character, lol. I would have liked it way more if she was an unofficial Year of the Cat clan leader, with Ebisu as her pact dragon, but then that would have made me want to pull for her more because I’m weak for anything that I can twist into a Fruits Basket reference, so maybe it’s a good thing that they didn’t go down that route. Either way it feels kinda weird to not have her be about the Year of the Cat when she’s being bundled with the Rat clan leader, and Ebisu is already based on that whole myth anyway. It seems like a vaguely uncomfortable and off-putting message of ‘yeah this game isn’t going to last long enough for us to actually get to the Year of the Horse so we’re giving her out early :)’. If they were gonna do it this way in order to get all of the clan leader characters released within 6-7 years rather than 12, I kinda wish they could have done that from the start so it didn’t come as a surprise now. Oh well.

Anyway, even though I’m not a fan of Nobunaga at all [and even after the event story I still don’t have any interest in her lol], I really like the rest of the new units. I could take or leave Mitsuhide in terms of her being a 5-star light dagger, but the event story actually made me like her a fair bit. Plus, her 3D model helped sell me on her design.

But mostly Chitose is my absolute son boy and I adore him. I get the feeling he’s going to be very . . . polarizing, but I love him. He’s absolutely perfect, and to top it all off he’s exactly the character that the light roster has been waiting for. As soon as he came into my summons being like ‘here comes a slice of cutie pie <3′ it was over for me.

Hanabusa’s also fun, in a surprisingly Danganronpa character writing kinda way. I think his facial expressions really gave me that sorta comparison, since it’s kinda rare for characters in this game to be that cartoon-y. But I also really love him. The fact that purple’s my favourite colour may or may not be making me extremely biased in his favour, though.

Also, Ebisu seems to be a 40% HP shadow dragon, which I think shadow’s been lacking. He’s probably not as good as a MUB NIdhogg/HZD, but I don’t have either of those so he’s nice to have. Even though I use Heinwald as my shadow healer and he prefers mixed dragons.

The new event wyrmprints also all seem pretty good. The Wyrmclan Duo basically seems to be Resounding Rendition but with crit damage instead of crit rate, and I’ll have to see how the math on that one turns out. I think most characters benefit more from crit rate than crit damage, but I’m not sure. A New Year’s Battle seems like a pretty solid print for daggers, and probably other units that can get high combo counts.

And then A Game of Cat and Boar seems like it’s gonna be the best wyrmprint for light buffers like Chitose and maybe Hanabusa. It actually has the highest buff time percentage for a wyrmprint in the game, at 25% compared to the current main ones being 20%, but it’s locked to light units. The 10% shadow res also works nicely with Chitose’s innate focus on defense, to make it easier for him to pass HP checks and whatnot. It’s a potent enough buff time increase that you can pretty easily just run something like the HZD print in his second slot without losing out on much, but outside of HZD he might just use a second buff time print anyway since there’s no real reason to bother buffing his offensive stats.

Anyway, in short, this banner was extremely gracious to me, Chitose is Best Boy, and I’m going to skip everything between now and the next gala in the hopes that we’ll finally get Gala Luca.

On that note, I thought Gala Luca might be a light dagger, but that seems a lot less likely now that Mitsuhide exists. I think he’ll probably be a light blade, or maybe a light spear, instead. I think him being a light blade would be great. We really need more of those [especially since Hanabusa’s stuck with a welfare unit kit], and it’d be great to see Luca get the vindication he deserves by getting a really strong gala alt. So until then I’m just gonna try and keep hoarding my resources until I can pull for him. I think I have a little over 150 summons worth of resources saved up, and I hope that’ll get a lot bigger over the next month.

[acradaunt]

EON Playthrough: Week 7

The 13th stratum's random encounters have a bit of a similar taste to the 10th; loads and loads of elemental recolours, but this time with a lot more physical vulnerability. My main game plan was for Juri to just delete a chump with Drop Shot while Iris Walls against the surviving elemental attacks. Elemental attacks can be stuffed very cheaply, but you can only do one element at most. Plus, with Chasers around, it's more vital they can take a normal hit as well. There's a lot of passive synergy in most encounters here. 13th also does a bit more with puzzles. I'd say it's overall one of the better strata, and almost certainly the best of the new Nexus-only areas. 9th being a fairly distant second.

It's definitely making me think about how lots of strata just had random mish-mashes of enemies without any cohesive strategy between them, and the Shrines were particularly bad offenders, literally stealing random enemies, especially from EOV, and dumping them in without a care. Some places at least had the 'oh, and here's the one enemy that's immune to the thing everyone else hates' to fall back on (8th was a good example of this). Is it weird that I like it when enemies have a firm plan to kick my ass? Things like the Roller-chucking Baboons and the Nightseeker-wannabe birdies provided a bit of a puzzle in what order is really the best to handle them and made them really pop out as interesting but fair threats.

The final story boss was kind of a huge pushover. Just didn't really seem to have any tricks up his sleeve compared to the 9-11th strata. Weirdest is probably the ultra-telegraphed mass-physical attack, which feels more like something the 1st-3rd boss should do, not the last guy. Maybe he just didn't live long enough to do much (15 turns), since he sure didn't like Terra's Delayed Charge + Cross Charge + Bloodlust combos, but felt pretty underwhelming, even compared to the big dopey final story boss of EOIV. Protector and Deja Vu Unbinds shut down any offense on his part pretty hard, though; I THINK the big thing is his attacks bind, trying to get you to mix strategies up, but when I auto-recover every turn, I didn't have to care.

I guess it doesn't really mean much, though, at the end of the day. There's still a full bonus stratum to go and at least eight or so side-bosses and side-mazes now available or will shortly be available. Even so, I think I'm ending this weekly thing here. There's just nothing left to say. Of course I plan on doing all that content, but if the past is anything to go by, it'll be literal years before I legitimately beat the superboss. Unless they're a dumbass and you can get them to one-shot themselves, like Ur-Child. What a moron.

I've clocked about 135 hours on Nexus, although I dunno how much of that was oogling weapons at Napier's or fussing around at the guild hall about colours or assigning skill points to the 48 or so characters I haven't yet used. If Monster Hunter's anything to go by, it's a pretty significant percentage. I like window shopping a bit too much. Also I apparently finished in exactly 100 in-game days (Tiger the 16th), so that's a pretty nifty number.

I can't say I looked at the other games as critically, but I can definitely say there's spots where Nexus stutters. Just like absolutely every other EO game, it completely front-ends its cool boss ideas, although here it's less 'this 1st boss has a cool puzzle associated with it' and more 'here, fight this former superboss before you're even level 20' and 'Have two bosses, back to back'. Some later bosses do have interesting setups, but they're exactly who you'd expect to fight when you first enter. The Shrines are 16+5 floors of fairly same-y ideas with the same music and background in a game that mixes things up completely every three floors. It's really only bad by what it's standing next to. If two of the shrines stole music and tileset assets from, say, Gladsheim and Ginugagagap and changed nothing else, I don't think I'd be complaining about them.

Ironically, I think the more prominent remark is how quickly some content in the rest of the game comes and goes. I think I fought maybe a grand total of two Cube Gels, Whorled Puffers, and Starry Slugs. It's actually kind of a great problem. There's just SO MUCH content that some stuff slips between the cracks. I unironically think the encounter rate could have been just a touch higher (and with less rewards from bar quests or events to compensate). Especially on some strata where most rooms are puzzle/FOE rooms with radically reduced encounters, you just don't get into fights much at all. I think a FOE interrupted a random encounter like four times, total. And most of those were bats, which are wimps (and my fave FOE for how different a concept that is). I suppose this falls into the 'good players go through stuff fast, less good players stick around longer' auto-adjusting difficulty RPGs have.

There's an obvious complaint to be made about an overabundance of earlygame strata being used and nothing ever from any game's 5-6th stratum, but it honestly didn't bother me. Apart from both of EOIII's 5th stratum gimmicks, I can't really think of many puzzle assets that never showed up, or at least with a close proxy. Well, I guess there's EOV's butt-golem switches. And EOV's falling pillars. Okay, so a couple.

I guess my bottom line is that I still do believe Nexus is the best EO game, as quantity really does completely wash away any lower quality areas. It is a lot of the same, but apart from the 2nd stratum, it never really felt same-y. Maybe it's because I never played EOU or EO2U (or EOI to begin with), so those areas might feel more dull if I had, but to me, they hardly resemble the same-y unremarkable regions and enemies they once were in EOII. Nexus is likely not the best game to start on; I'd say ideally the order is any one of EOIV/EOU/EO2U, then EOV, then Nexus. Spaced out over several years. A lot of the fun of Nexus was seeing how they improved old stuff, and how new and old stuff from different games intermingle, and without any nostalgia and some sense of familiarity, it might be a little bit of a sensory overload. EOV content was clearly deliberately avoided, so EOV still feels like a very different game with lots of super-weird classes.

I think my favourite parts were the 11th stratum, which I seemed to be facing death several times, but always pulled things out, and the bosses/FOEs were demanding, but felt fair after 10th's ultra-unfair midboss. Seeing, and especially hearing, the 6th stratum after like a decade was phenomenal, even if it was a bit of a breather area. The 4th likewise, especially its side-maze, seeing some real mixing of the games. And while I ragged on them earlier, the 9th and 13th stratum had some really good puzzles. Really, only the 3rd and 5th were really lacking in puzzle/FOE rooms. Maybe that's why they felt like such meat-grinders.

[esoutherngolf]

Champion Hills The Perfect Community to Live and Play

Champion Hills is a community that boasts being the home of world renowned golf course architect Tom Fazio’s Mountain Masterpiece. Fazio says it best, "Champion Hills is a golf course in the mountains, not a mountain golf course.” Some may look at Champion Hills as your classic, golf course retirement community, but it is so much more than just a community with a golf course. There are many people living in the community, who may be enjoying their retirement, but the community also houses just as many who are actively working. With the ability to work remotely amid the "new normal," Champion Hills is seeing an influx of new resident members in the prime of their careers and still going strong. No matter the situation, all in the community share one thing and that is that they are all actively enjoying the benefits of Champion Hills every day. You may ask what makes Champion Hills so special? If you ask the residents, most will tell you it's the feeling of belonging. Champion Hills is a welcoming community. “I look at Champion Hills as a mountain golf community more than a Country Club,” says one resident, who along with his wife moved to Champion Hills in 2015. “It’s a blend of people from all over the country, from all different careers and the spectrum in terms of political views and religion. It’s such a great mix of fun people who are enjoying life at Champion Hills.” According to Champion Hills Director of Membership and Marketing Heather Myers, “We see so many families coming together here across two and three generations. Whether they are on the golf course, at the pool or out to dinner, we love that Champion Hills is their ‘happy place.’” The location of the community in Hendersonville, North Carolina also draws many new residents in. Hendersonville is on the list of the 100 Best Small Towns in America and also rated as one of the best places in the country to retire, but you don't have retire to live at Champion Hills. The town's physical beauty and moderate climate has an allure that cause many people to make Hendersonville their permanent home. Downtown Hendersonville is nestled in a protected valley between the Blue Ridge and the Great Smokey Mountains. The valley placement secures a moderate climate with four distinct seasons that bring brilliant spring flowers, warm summers, breathtaking fall foliage, and a coating of white snow creating a unique living experience for each time of the year. The charming nature of Hendersonville continues to draw people in and provide an atmosphere that is easy to call home. It is also located just thirty minutes outside of Asheville. Hendersonville is enhanced by the beauty of the Champion Hills community, and Tom Fazio's Mountain Masterpiece Golf Course and Club House takes Champion Hills living over the top. The 25,000-square foot clubhouse offers several dining options plus a Wellness Center, with the latest cardio and strength training equipment and a spacious room for yoga, spin, Pilates and other group classes. In addition to the outdoor pool, a hydro spa and tennis courts are available for members. Champion Hills even has an entire department dedicated to filling your calendar with social community events and member activities for every interest, so there is never a dull moment at Champion Hills. No matter your interest, you’ll find friends for life at Champion Hills! Keeping in line with Champion Hills' welcoming atmosphere, a Vertical Membership was created, extending the full benefits and privileges of its full range of golf and social memberships to immediate family at no extra cost. The enhanced Vertical Membership includes Champion Hills’ new Equity 55 Golf in addition to its Full and Social Equity offerings. Equity 55 is a full golf membership for those age 55 and under. The initiation fee is divided into four equal payments over four years, dues and replacement reserve fund contributions are reduced by 50% and the club’s $800 annual food and beverage minimum is prorated for new members. “We are excited to offer the enhanced Vertical Membership for all of our full equity membership categories,” says Champion Hills General Manager and Chief Operating Officer Dana Schultz. “When we see members’ families coming back month after month and year after year, it only confirms that vertical membership was a wonderful thing for Champions Hills.” Unlike many private, seasonal, mountain communities, Champion Hills offers year-round golf, activities, and casual and fine dining options. And since 2013, property ownership is no longer a requirement for Champion Hills membership. For more information, visit www.championhills.com. A golf course and community in the mountains like no other... that you can call home! QUICK FACTS - 700 Acre Master-Planned Golf Community - 477 Home Sites; Over 300 Resident Families - Debt-Free Community and Club - Just Minutes From Hendersonville and Asheville - Miles of Hiking Trails On Site; Endless Outdoor Recreation Nearby - Tom Fazio Designed Golf Course, Open Year Round - Vertical Family Line Golf Membership - Extensive Fitness and Wellness Center, Tennis and Pool Complexes - Lodge Style Clubhouse - Indoor & Al Fresco Dining Options, Fazio Bar & Grill - Active Resident Population - Social Groups, Clubs, Activities, Volunteer Organizations The Mountain Masterpiece - the golf course in the mountain (literally in the mountain). Most mountainous layouts are riddled with blind shots and uneven lies that penalize even well-struck tee shots. That’s not the case at Champions Hills, where Fazio’s team of earth movers and shapers created level “playing platforms,” and shots often funnel to landing areas and pin placements. Champion Hills is not considered a long course, only 6510 yards from the tips, and designed with the amateur player in mind. Featuring five sets of tees, including three rated for women and additional “combo tees” placed 15 to 30 yards in front of forced carries on some holes, to eliminate those stressful shots for higher handicappers, golfers of all abilities can find their right length. Through meticulous grading and the creation of transition areas, Fazio was able to craft a design that only requires six uphill shots, unheard of in a mountain layout. Don't get me wrong, this is not an easy course but it is not a course that will leave high handicappers frustrated. With breathtaking views and the severe drops on some of the holes, a round at Champion Hills can be thrilling and one that you won't soon forget. Favorite Holes (all of them but here are eight that stood out the most). #1 Par 4 Simply because it is the first hole and just takes your breath away from the get go. You have to pinch yourself to realize this course is not a dream - this is real. A picturesque example of outstanding golf in a beautiful mountain setting which presents the golfer with a dramatic, long-range view of the Blue Ridge Mountains. The first shot is played across a narrow ravine to a generous fairway. The short second shot is slight uphill to a wide putting surface carved into the natural hillside. #4 Par 3 A downhill par which overlooks an existing mountain stream. Club selection will vary with pin location on the deep green. Nestled in a valley between two hillsides, the green is supported by a collection of depressions and sand traps which flank the left side. #5 Par 5 A beautiful par 5 featuring a downhill, tree lined fairway with a small pond on the left side of the green. This hole is carved into the hillside, sloping rom right to left. The linear hourglass green is very deep and allows many pin locations and yardage adjustments. #9 Par 3 A dramatic downhill par 3 with a 180 degree view of the Blue Ridge Mountains. Due to a drop in elevation of as much as 125 feet, tee shot club selection will change by 2 or 3 clubs. Choose wisely. The large green is guarded on the front right and back left by bunkers. #10 Par 4 The tree-lined, dogleg right fairway offers panoramic long range view from the tee. A well placed tee shot, slightly left of center can be rewarded with a distance boost on the downhill fairway, leaving a short downhill approach shot to the green. #13 Par 5 A short par 5 with an opportunity for birdie, if you can split the fairway bunker on the right and natural ravine left on the downhill tee shot. An approach shot to the right should funnel the ball toward the green, which is heavily bunkered and contoured on the left side. #15 Par 4 A long iron or 3-wood may be the club of choice to position the tee shot, for the approach on this short dogleg left. Converging brooks, both right and in front of the tiered green will force you to select the right approach club. #18 Par 4 The 18th hole has many natural features which combine to make this a memorable, dramatic par 4. A swift flowing mountain stream edges the entire right side from the green to the teeing area. Several natural waterfalls add to the beauty and excitement. Carved out of the forest, this hole is framed with White Pines, Tulip Poplars, Rhododendron and Mountain Laurel. The wide landing area sweeps from left to right. The uphill second shot needs to carry the front edge of this two-level large green. The smart shot should favor the left side of the green, avoiding the ever present stream on the right. Final Thoughts Perfectly situated in the heart of the Blue Ridge Mountains, Champion Hills offers a four season climate, a casually elegant country club lifestyle and a very active club membership. Champion Hills' elevations of 2,500 to 2,800 feet may not be as high as some High Country Mountain communities, but excellent Blue Ridge Mountain views abound, nonetheless. It is this lower elevation that makes for a more temperate climate. The short winter features an average high in January of 47 degrees and summers are cool with a July average high of 84 degrees. The lower elevation is what also enables the availability of year-round golf and given the more temperate climate perhaps presents less of a driving challenge during the winter months compared to some of the other North Carolina Mountain communities. With numerous onsite amenities and convenient access to all the arts, dining and culture of Asheville and Hendersonville, residents never lack for entertainment or recreation options. The Tom Fazio course is consistently ranked in the top 15 in North Carolina and is challenging yet playable for golfers of all skill levels. If you are searching for a Western North Carolina Mountain golf community, you may find what Champion Hills has to offer is "the full package"! #championhills www.championhills.com Read the full article

[acavatica]

Animorphs October: 06 First Date

“You know, usually when two guys are in the same bathroom stall, it’s for more fun reasons than the eternal struggle against the button fly,” Marco said. He glanced up at Ax, who was doing a great job pretending the ceiling tiles were at least as fascinating as last year’s Farmer’s Almanac. Marco went back to work on the remaining four buttons. “Why did Rachel even buy you pants with a button fly? No, never mind. I know she did it specifically to annoy me.”

“I don’t understand. Sssstan-duh.”

“This is what humans call a cockblock. A very literal execution of the concept,” Marco said. “Which is ironic, because I would not be getting so up close and personal on our first date if not for this button situation. I’m a gentleman.”

Ax furrowed his brow and puffed out a small sigh. “I believe I now understand even less. If that was an attempt at an ex-ks-ks-planation, I’m afraid you should continue to search for a more appropriate vocation. Vo-kay-shun.”

Marco snorted and shook his head. “Don’t worry about it and stop fidgeting.”

Ax held his breath and looked back up at the ceiling.

Ax had had to leave in the middle of dinner to demorph. After asking for more of those heavenly cheddar biscuits two times, Marco had decided he should probably go check on him. He’d made a lot of progress after two years of trial and error with “the illogical human convention of clothing,” but even Ax had his limits. A button fly was already advanced-level illogical clothing, even without the added complication of Ax’s Andalite claustrophobia in a bathroom stall.

Marco finished buttoning Ax’s pants and gave him a once-over. If Rachel could be counted on for one thing, it was that she was ready for a fight, no questions asked. If she could be counted on for one more thing, it was that she was going to pick out a great date outfit. The first time Marco had seen Ax tonight, he’d felt like the breath had been knocked out of him.

Now Ax was looking down at Marco, his eyes on Marco’s hands, which still lingered at Ax’s waist. Marco grinned at the way Ax flushed and chewed his lip. Slowly and carefully, he buttoned Ax’s shirt buttons, starting from the bottom. He left two unbuttoned and ran the shirt lapels between his fingers, straightening them. He could tell it was expensive. Another thing Rachel could be counted on for. Marco tugged gently on Ax’s fancy lapels, pulling his face down closer. He froze at the sound of the bathroom door opening and swore under his breath.

“You okay in there?” Marco recognized their server’s voice because she had given him a total of twelve cheddar biscuits. She probably thought they were trying to dine and dash. Not that Marco had never thought of enjoying a complimentary roll or chips and then leaving, but his dad actually had credit now.

“We need no assistance! Stents!” Ax stated authoritatively. Marco ground his forehead into Ax’s sternum. At least the shirt was soft, and at this distance Marco could really appreciate the fine pattern in the weave. He could probably come up with some way to make fun of Rachel to let her know he noticed by Monday.

“Listen, I don’t get paid enough to deal with this,” she said, her voice strained. “I just need to know if I should seat someone at your table or not.”

“No, we’re done in here,” Marco said quickly. “I promise we intend to tip generously. Just please leave and pretend this didn’t happen.”

The server sighed loudly, but Marco heard her shut the door behind her. Marco sighed and leaned back into the stall door. Ax was frowning. “I am sorry --”

Marco put his hand up. “Don’t, dude. This was my idea. Let’s just get back to our table before she tells a manager or calls the cops.”

“Have we broken the law?” Ax asked as Marco led him by the hand back to their table.

“Only laws of decency,” Marco said, settling back into the booth and stirring his raspberry lemonade with his straw. “At least I think.”

Marco opened the heavy menu again, scanning the entrees and trying not to worry about the prices. His dad had handed over his credit card and said I’m not giving you a limit, but I trust you not to overdo it. Marco’s life had done such a 180 in the last two years. He’d gone from having no money and barely having a dad, to being better off than ever with an overcompensating, trying-too-hard dad. He’d gone from having a dead mom to having a stepmom-slash-wannabe-tutor who wasn’t great at the whole “respecting his boundaries” thing and a real mom who was an alien slave. He’d gone from having the normal kind of shitty life to having to make the conscious choice, every moment, not to start running and never stop.

He looked up at Ax. He’d gone from having a pathetic crush on his best friend to having a hot-but-bizarre, literal space alien boyfriend. So at least some things were looking up, sometimes, kind of.

“What were you thinking?” he said. “My dad and I usually get the big combo meal and split it but, uh, you know. Order whatever you want.”

“I have not tried most of this food. Foo-duh. Duh,” Ax answered, looking down at the menu like normal people would have looked at calculus problems. “What is a langostino? Lan-go-steee-no.”

“It’s not a real lobster. If you really wanna relive old times, get this.” Marco reached over and pointed at the picture of the whole lobster on Ax’s menu. Ax’s eyes went wide in recognition. Marco grinned and looked Ax in the eye. “They kill it for you here.”

“Humans are horrible,” Ax said, wrinkling his nose and lips in a way Marco thought was really cute until he realized it was Cassie’s “changing bandages” face.

“Well if you’re not getting it, I am.” Marco set his menu down. “How else will we know it’s a special occasion?”

“I don’t know,” Ax said, his mouth full of cheddar biscuit. “My date idea -- aye-dee-uhh, dee uhhh -- was scary movies and snacks. Snacksuh. Snax.”

Marco rolled his eyes. “That’s not a date, that’s a Tuesday.”

“Why do humans think they must be less comfortable and experience more stress to have a ‘good time’?” Ax did finger quotes and Marco almost spat out his lemonade.

“It’s the human condition, Ax-man. Maybe someday your people will study us. Hopefully not the dissecting kind of study.”

“No, I believe that is your specialty, if this menu and my firsthand experience are any indication,” Ax said, muffled by the whole biscuit he’d just shoved into his mouth. Ax looked like a hamster storing food in its cheek pouches when the server came to take their order.

Dinner passed fairly uneventfully. Ax had been spending enough time in public with Marco that it’d been awhile since Marco had to give him an “act normal” lecture. Marco could tell Ax was on his best behavior. If he was totally honest, he thought he could tell Ax was on edge. Maybe Marco had overemphasized the importance of the human ritual of the first date. At this point, Marco felt like he knew a lot about Ax. He wasn’t afraid of a lot of things. Why would he be, when he could outrun, outsmart, and outfight almost anyone? But Marco knew he was afraid of being alone and Marco knew he was afraid of disappointing people.

Marco transferred his bag of leftovers to his other hand and took Ax’s in his. Ax was looking up at the pink and purple clouds of the sunset, but Marco watched a smile spread across his lips. The falling light illuminated his hair like a halo, highlighting the reddish undertones in his brown hair and skin. Marco had always thought Ax was pretty, but he seemed even prettier now that Marco didn’t have to hide that he thought so.

“You wanna take a walk through the botanical garden?” Marco asked. They were walking leisurely in no specific direction, but it was only a short detour off Ortega. “How much time do you have?”

“Approximately seventy-six of your minutes,” Ax said. “I like the botanical garden. Cassie has taken me there. There are many unique species of flowers and trees. Yoo-neek tr-tr-treee-zuh.”

Marco tried to hide his disappointment that their first date wouldn’t be Ax’s first time there. “Well, I think I can show you a better time than Cassie.”

“I hope so,” Ax said seriously. “A duck took my churro.”

Marco led them to the park. It was tiny, but it had lots of walking paths, lots of little nooks to duck into, and enough plants that even nature freaks like Cassie were into it. Marco’s mom had been into it too, which is how he knew about it. He’d avoided it for the two years he thought she was dead. It was one of the only good things about finding out she was actually worse than dead. At least now he didn’t have to add twenty minutes to his walk to school to avoid one city block.

He’d actually always fantasized about bringing a date to this park. In his fantasies, the date had always either been a hot girl or Jake. Technically, Ax was something like three-quarters that, give or take, so Marco had to count this as a success.

Ax reached out with his free hand and ran his fingertips over the Braille letters underneath the sign for the sensory garden. Marco raised a brow and pulled at Ax’s other hand. He didn’t want to get into this again.

“No, I like this part,” Ax said obstinately. He pulled Marco in the other direction and Marco was compelled to move forward. He yanked his hand away and crossed his arms, but followed. Nothing pissed him off more than people moving him without his permission because he was small.

Ax was taking his time, touching all the differently-textured plants almost like a ritual. Marco groaned internally that maybe it was and Ax was going to waste all his morph time here instead of where Marco wanted him to go.

Marco decided he felt like gambling. “You know this part of the park is for people with disabilities, right?”

Ax, carefully rubbing a leaf between the fingers on his left hand, turned his head to look sharply at Marco. “I do. Cassie explained it to me when she brought me here.”

“And you like it?” Marco felt like he was standing on the edge of a cliff. His heart was racing and there was no way to know if it was from excitement or anxiety. Everything felt the same now, anyway.

Ax frowned and all Marco could think was how pretty his lips were and how much he wanted to kiss them, if Ax would just cooperate. “If my people had different attitudes, this garden has a very appealing concept. The mixed textures and vibrant colors are very Andalite. I wish it were possible for me to come here in my natural body. My usual sense of touch is much more refined than a human’s.”

“Ax. Are you finally admitting Andalites are wrong about something?” Marco said, stunned.

“Marco. You are a brilliant tactician.”

“What’s your point?”

“I am just surprised that the same person can be so competent at battle strategy and also so absolutely lacking in interpersonal tact,” Ax said dryly. He added, under his breath, “It is almost impressive.”

A light feeling fluttered up from low in Marco’s stomach up to his chest, making him sigh deeply. He took Ax’s hand again and walked backward toward where he wanted to take him. “Come with me.”

Ax didn’t protest, and instead he squeezed Marco’s hand as he followed. Marco led Ax down a winding path that led almost to the edge of the man made pond in the middle of the park. He picked a bench that was at the furthest point between two streetlights, shrouded by long fronds of some big plant with red bunches of flowers. The dim lights shimmered off the light ripples in the water. The spot he’d chosen was right in front of a cluster of lily pads. In the faint light of the waning sunset, they were almost indistinguishable from the reflections of the palms, creating an illusion that the sky was full of flowers.

“I like this park,” Ax said, his voice almost a whisper. “These floating plants remind me of my home.”

Marco set his leftovers down next to the bench and pulled Ax down almost into his lap. Marco leaned forward, bracing himself on the bench with one hand. He put a knee on either side of Ax’s leg and pushed gently on Ax’s chest until he could climb over him enough to kiss him. Ax kissed back immediately and pulled Marco in deeper with a hand on the back of his neck. Marco felt like he was melting from the inside out and let his body settle on top of Ax.

This was their first date but it definitely wasn’t their first kiss. If you looked up the word “oral fixation” in the dictionary, there would be a picture of Ax’s human morph off to the side. Ax had become a very experienced kisser in the couple months they’d been doing whatever it was that two child soldiers do when they pretend to be normal kids who kiss sometimes. They kissed a lot. Ax wasn’t just into fun mouth experiences, though. Ax was tuned into Marco’s responses like he’d been trained to monitor the sensor array that was the small sounds Marco made and the way he gasped and went still when Ax did something right. This was a kid who apparently slept through all his classes but not his practicals.

Marco put one hand on Ax’s cheek and the other he buried in Ax’s soft, coily hair. At the touch, Ax moaned into his mouth. He nibbled at Marco’s lower lip and thrust his tongue deeper. The sounds of crickets, frogs, birds, water, everything around them was all drowned out by the pulse Marco could feel through his whole body and their rough breaths. Every inch of Marco’s skin was alight and Ax’s fingertips felt like they could have traced a burn into him. Ax’s hand stopped at Marco’s hip, pulling him closer. Ax shifted, moving his knee up so that his thigh pressed between Marco’s legs. Marco gasped, tightened his hand in Ax’s hair, and buried his face in the crook of Ax’s neck.

Click!

There was a blinding flash and Marco was on his feet, one arm blocking the light from his face, his other hand a fist. His heart was pounding in his throat and his body went from overheated to ice cold. He blinked into the light, trying to make out what had… interrupted their makeout.

“What are you kids doing?” The beam of light lowered and Marco was able to take in the broad man and his black uniform. A cop. Not a Hork-Bajir. Not Visser Three. A fucking cop. Not that he couldn’t be a Controller. Not that he wasn’t dangerous even if he wasn’t.

“We are on a date. Day-tuh,” Ax explained. “This is an outing between two people who share mutual romantic interest. Ssstuh. We are both male, which is a source of friction in your society. Tee. Sci-eh-tee. However, we are just trying to have a good time. We are both young and restless.”

“God,” Marco couldn’t help but whisper. He pulled his numb hands down his face before holding them up where the cop could see them. His mouth was suddenly dry. He ran his tongue over his teeth and swallowed. “Officer. Sir. We were just about to go home. Can… can we leave?”

The officer squinted at Ax and frowned. He shined his light directly in Ax’s eyes, which made him flinch and made Marco have to swallow the fire in his throat. “Are you high?”

“No, sir,” Marco answered quickly before Ax could make it worse, keeping his tone even despite his body feeling like it was about to shake apart. “English isn’t his first language. Please, we need to get home, my dad’s expecting us.”

“Where do you live?”

Marco took a deep breath. His mom had grown up in a police state and she hadn’t left her son with nothing. “Are we being detained, officer?” he said carefully, like he had practiced it. Because he had, when he was eight years old.

The cop clicked his flashlight back off and waved it toward the park’s exit. “You’re free to go. But keep that --” He gestured up and down at them with the flashlight. “In private from now on.”

Marco grabbed Ax by the wrist and walked rapidly away, checking over his shoulder until the cop started walking in the other direction. Marco was panting by the time they reached the park exit. His ears were ringing. His eyes were burning. He felt like screaming.

“Are you okay?” Ax asked.

Marco tightened his hand around Ax’s wrist until the skin surrounding his grip turned white. “No, I’m not fucking okay, Ax! I go out with you all the time and you could get us killed every single time. Even if that cop was one hundred percent grade A, Yeerk-free human, we’re two gay brown kids and he’s a cop. You’ve got to learn when to keep your mouth shut!”

Ax blinked blankly at Marco like he’d just watched him kick Nora’s fucking dog across the room. Immediately, Marco’s stomach dropped and he felt like he was crashing in on himself. He let Ax go.

“Dude. Sorry. I’m sorry.” Marco sat down, right there on the sidewalk, and put his head between his knees. He tried to catch his breath. “And I forgot my fucking linguine.”

Ax hesitated, then sat down next to Marco. He didn’t touch him, and Marco was grateful. “I put forth substantial effort,” Ax said finally. “But I believe this date has been what humans call a ‘clusterfuck.’”

Marco looked up at Ax, his mouth hanging open. Like a reflex, a laugh came out of his chest. It was followed by another, until he was cackling helplessly, burying his face into the stupidly soft sleeve of Ax’s shirt. When he was finally able to calm down and sit back up, Ax’s shirt was wet. If Ax noticed, he didn’t say anything.

Marco rubbed roughly at his eyes with the heel of his palm and sniffed. “You gotta be short on time now, huh?”

“Yes,” Ax said. “I only have seventeen of your minutes left in this morph.”

“They’re everyone’s minutes,” Marco said. “You wanna come to my house, reset your time, have some snacks, watch some scary movies?”

“It is not Tuesday,” Ax teased.

“Don’t make me admit you were right all along,” Marco said, letting Ax pull him to his feet.

“Unlike humans,” Ax said, in his usual imperious tone, “Andalites do not seek constant validation.”

Marco rolled his eyes and slipped his hand back into Ax’s as they walked home.

[faint-waves-music]

Discussing Far East Winter.

My new EP, Far East Winter has been a very interesting EP to make and because of that, I wanted to write something of an article in regards to it. So, here we are! I'm going to discuss the background of this EP, my influences, inspirations, some of the ideas I had with this record, a short run through of each track, and a few things I learned along the way. Hopefully this is an informative and interesting read and hopefully you enjoy the record, too.

I had contemplated doing an EP of this nature for some time, in fact, you can hear my earliest inclinations toward this idea on my "Cherry Blossom" single from 2017. I've always been a lover and admirer of sounds from all over the world, but music and sounds from the East and the far East have always really caught my ear. I think so many of the instruments and the scales/notation they tend to use are absolutely beautiful. The only reason I hadn't done this sooner, is because I didn't want to do this just to do it and because I'm not sure I was totally ready to. If I was going to do it, I wanted to do it some semblance of justice. If "Cherry Blossom" was me seeing if I could pull it off at all, "Far East Winter" is the more refined, realized vision of incorporating these elements into my music.

As far as who/what inspired and influenced this record, I'd say it was a good mixture of eastern and non-eastern artists. Many of my ideas were informed by Roxy Music, Prefab Sprout, Tears For Fears, Vangelis, Hiroshima, Kitaro, Hiromitsu Agatsuma, and Himekami, just to name a few. I was in a creative space where I also wanted to kind of continue the easy listening/downtempo/adult contemporary-inspired direction I've been taking Faint Waves since 2017, but I had to do something interesting to really change the pace a bit and since I wanted to do a winter release, I knew the sound couldn't just be sunshine and ocean waves. The result is a more winter-into-spring sounding EP, not necessarily dark or discordant sounding, but a bit more bittersweet and melancholy in places. That's not to say there aren't hopeful moments, as the first and final tracks on the EP are a bit more optimistic than the rest, indicating glimmers of hope amongst the moodier parts of the record.

Much of the record I think has a very soft rock and sophistipop vibe, but there are few moments that are a bit more downtempo, new age, or experimental. I also made some stylistic choices on this EP that kind of set it apart from other things I've done, namely with the drums and bass. I've often relied on a fretless bass emulation for many (the vast majority, actually) of my songs, it's been a tried and true element and staple in the music I've made. However, I felt this record warranted something different, so I've switched things up and used a finger style bass emulation. It has a much deeper sound and I think has given the record a bit more of a soft rock or vintage R&B vibe. As for the drums, I made a similar stylistic decision to go after more of an organic feel. So, rather than using solely Roland and Linn samples as I have in the past, I opted to use more live sounds. That doesn't mean I haven't used those Roland and Linn samples at all, as they're still in the mix. Many of the songs feature a live kick drum layered with a Linn kick and on "Lovers In The Cold", you can very clearly hear the use of a CR-78 hat sample alongside the rest of the drums. Small changes in the grand scheme of things but I think they've made a big difference in the overall feel of the EP.

The first song I had completed and the one that really solidified the fact that I was doing this, was "Lovers In The Cold", which ironically became the last track on the EP. "Lovers In The Cold" is a bit of a sophistipop track with both western and eastern instrumentation, including a Xylophone, Sax, an Erhu (a violin-like instrument of Chinese origin), and a brilliant emulation of the Ruan (a plucked instrument of Chinese origin). I'd say the sound and structure were most influenced by acts like Hiroshima and Roxy Music, while the blocky pad chords remind me more of Prefab Sprout. It's definitely a pretty layered track for me, lots of moving parts. The way I've always seen the song, structurally, is as an argument between two lovers. Xylophone is one party, while the Erhu is another. The Xylophone is very quick moving and aggressive but the Erhu is more relaxed and to the point. They have this back and forth, but every other time the Erhu comes in, there's one extra note that wasn't played the previous time. So, it's almost like someone is getting the last word in there. Then, you have this kind of breakdown in the song where everything slows down a bit and rather than them playing separately, you have the Xylophone and the Erhu playing simultaneously. Going along with the two lovers metaphor, that part of the song could be them reconciling, working together to make things work before everything falls apart again.

There were a lot of demos with this EP, more than maybe any other EP I've ever made. A lot of stuff didn't make the cut or just plain didn't get finished. The next track that saw completion after "Lovers In The Cold" was probably the fourth song I had made overall and it's a tracked called "Only Tonight", which was loosely inspired by "Advice For The Young At Heart" by Tears For Fears. This track was one that definitely went through a lot of changes before it became what it was. It started out very synthpop, with these big electronic strings, before I transitioned to a more organ-centric sound. It took quite a few demos for it to start to take shape as it is now, a piano ballad. I think after the organ became integral to the song, the drums were what really started to make it take shape. Those drums, at least where they start initially, have a very Burt Bacharach feel. That shaker-sidestick combo he's so fond of. It starts in that kind of Bacharach-like place but as the track goes on, the drums get a little more aggressive and eventually the sidestick is replaced with a snare. For the piano, I didn't want a big sound because the organ/bass combo was already doing that for me, so it's pretty much this continuous riff of single notes. Then the piano is accompanied by a Shamisen (a stringed instrument of Japanese origin) and later on, a sax. The track also features a Vibraphone and a Gong sample. The Vibraphone is this kind of arpeggiated-sounding series of a few notes, it really gives the track an underlying sense of movement and urgency. "Only Tonight" is an interesting one because I feel like it became what it is very naturally, but it did take some time to get there. Glad I didn't give up on it though, as it's a favorite of mine.

After that, I think came "Snow Summit", which also went through a lot of changes as it went on. It's kind of a weird one. It doesn't sound like it at all, but it was pretty Vangelis inspired. Vangelis, Yello, and Kitaro are the big inspirations for that one. It went through a lot of changes and I don't think I was ever really sure the track "worked", so to speak. Once I laid down the bass for it, I feel like it all clicked a bit better, but it's still by far one of the most oddball tracks I've ever produced. It was inspired by a Yello song called "Homer Hossa", which if you aren't familiar with, is basically just a lot of sound effects, percussion, and little actual melody. "Snow Summit" is kind of that way, except it basically has this big brass backing track accompanying all these weird sounds. I think my intention with it, is that I wanted it to be as foreboding and endless feeling as the summit of a mountain would be. You're cold, the wind is blowing, there's snow everywhere, and you can see for literally miles. That kind of thing is intimidating and I think I wanted to convey that with this noisy, aimless kind of a track. It's probably the most "experimental" thing I've done. Huge brass, eastern percussion, simulated wind, white noise stabs, and huge bass drops. That's "Snow Summit" in a nutshell.

After that, came "Hatsukoi". Hatsukoi translates to first love, if you're curious. I knew I wanted a beautiful opening song for the EP and after drawing a blank for a long time, this is what materialized. Inspired by Kitaro and to a lesser extent Himekami, "Hatsukoi" is a bit of a new age jaunt. It's basically comprised of strings, a few different kinds of percussion (both eastern and western), a Celeste, a Pipa (a four stringed instrument of Chinese origin), a Xylophone, wave sfx, and bird sfx. This track doesn't really develop beyond the first couple minutes, but I found it very lovely and relaxing and didn't feel the need to add to it. I had a few demos where a flute came in the second half but it was just overkill in my opinion. It's a bit more hopeful and warm than everything else on the EP. It's very much in line with some of the more atmospheric, new age inspired things I've done. It's very much Kitaro by way of Faint Waves, in my opinion. I'd love to explore that kind of sound more in the future, to the degree of acts like Kitaro or Himekami. That kind of Electronica-meets-New Age-and-Classical sound is always brilliant. Exploring that sort of thing could be an EP or album in it's own right, but for this release, I wanted a balance of downtempo/chilled vignettes with more deliberate/aggressive songs.

The next song that came to be was actually an older, unfinished demo that I had lying around. "Tao Of Knowing" originally started as "Charm", a new wave/sophistipop song inspired by Johnny Hates Jazz and Tango In The Night-era Fleetwood Mac. "Charm" was originally much more electronic and instead of a Koto (a stringed instrument of Japanese origin) carrying the song, it was a piano. I revisited this song during my time producing Far East Winter and I found, with a few changes, that it would fit the record. I changed quite a few things; the key changed, the chiffer lead at the beginning of the song became a Shakuhachi (a flute-like instrument of Japanese origin, derived from the Chinese bamboo flute), the main piano riff became a Koto, the poppy drum samples were replaced with the ones I was using for this EP, and I wound up writing a new pad for it as well. Once I had made those changes, the song still went through a few more permutations before it became the song you hear on Far East Winter. The song has a very mystical feel and I think that sets it apart on the EP, in a good way. The original demo had a very new wave feel to it and I think a little bit of that is still intact, particularly in the drums. This one may also be one of the more aggressive sounding songs in the Faint Waves canon, too. Very in your face at times.

The last song to be completed was "City Street". I knew from the beginning that "City Street" was going to be a short interlude kind of a song. My general vision for it from the get go was very similar to how it came to be, I knew I wanted to be very ambient and atmospheric, and to feature a Rhodes. That's exactly how it turned out but I just couldn't seem to get it to materialize. At first, I tried to make the song quicker and more urban sounding, to coincide with the name. It just wasn't working, so I scrapped almost everything except the percussion I had. The percussion I did have, I wound up changing quite a bit, leaving pretty much the bare minimum. Once I was happy with the percussion, I layered a few different sound effects. One was of nighttime ambience (crickets/frogs/etc.), another was just general city noise, and the final was of a little bit of traffic. After that came the Rhodes, which I pretty much treated almost as a pad as I wrote and produced it. I applied a lot of effects to it, reverb and delay mostly, so it would kind of linger well beyond the length of the notes would allow. On top of that, I used a Pipa again, I actually recycled a melody from another song of mine ("Congo") for that and adjusted the notes accordingly. The end result is a very soundscapey interlude that's heavy on ambiance, maybe slightly reminiscent of Kenji Kawai. Good for falling asleep to maybe, as much of my catalogue is.

In conclusion, I learned a lot going into this EP and coming out of it. I did a lot of reading and listening, trying to understand what they were doing as far as Eastern instrumentation and notation were concerned. Reading and learning about scales like the Japanese In Sen scale, as well as putting them to use, was incredibly challenging and fun. I made more songs for this one EP, than I have any release before, and it's because of what I was working with. There's a real beauty and true uniqueness to the music and culture on that side of the world that we don't often see. They do things in music that the West never has and likely, never will. I think my research and desire to understand, is what made this EP so special to me, as well as what has made the EP sound so unique in comparison to the rest of my material. I might have done some familiar things but I don't think I've ever made anything similar to what I've made here. In many ways, I feel like I needed to do a project like this, just to stretch my legs a bit and get out of my comfort zone. This record is a sign of things to come, not in the sense that I'll necessarily be making another record like this, but in the sense that my next record will be just as different. So, stay on your toes and enjoy.

- Faint Waves.

[operationrainfall]

Title Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE Encore Developer Atlus, Nintendo Publisher Nintendo Release Date January 17th, 2020 Genre RPG Platform Nintendo Switch Age Rating T for Teen – Fantasy Violence, Language, Suggestive Themes, Use of Alcohol Official Website

Let me just get this out of the way – I was a big fan of the original Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE. I’m well aware of the so called controversy of the original game, and it in no way impacted my enjoyment. So when I saw the original game was getting an upgraded port in Encore, I knew I had to play it. Not only did it feature a revamped build of the original Wii U exclusive, it came packaged with the optional DLC as well as some entirely new content in the EX Story. Thanks to the kind folks at Nintendo providing us the opportunity to review the game, I buckled down and got through as fast as possible. Four years later, am I still a fan of Tokyo Mirage Sessions, or did this Encore fall flat?

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The first thing you should all know about Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE Encore is that it’s a game all about the theme of spreading happiness and creativity through art. In the game proper, that art is predominantly split between musical performances and stage acting. It embraces Japanese culture and all its many quirks, while showcasing the glamour of the entertainment industry. Besides that, the game is also a hybrid of two rather different series – Shin Megami Tensei and Fire Emblem. You wouldn’t be faulted for wondering how easily those mesh together, but I can assure you it works shockingly well. Not only does Encore have key elements of both series, such as various character classes, a weapon triangle, exploiting enemy weaknesses and crazed extra-dimensional dungeons, it manages to also stand on its own two feet while inheriting the best aspects of both source materials. That said, for the majority of game, you’re going to see more SMT influence than FE, but once the credits roll, I felt both were well represented. This is also a game that benefits from being a JRPG, for one simple reason – this game’s strong suit isn’t the plot. That’s not to say the story isn’t interesting or entertaining, but after playing it a second time, I couldn’t help but notice several things the plot doesn’t adequately address. Thankfully, the genre is also known for having captivating personalities, and Encore has that in spades. You’ll really grow to love every character in the story, from the main cast to the supporting characters. They’ll all grow and become more fully realized as you play, and if you devote yourself to all the Side Story content (which I highly recommend), you’ll really get rewarded with some touching and hilarious moments.

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While the story (split into several chapters broken up with Intermissions) isn’t the tightest or most complex, it does provide a good structure for how things progress. Tokyo is under assault by invisible forces called Mirages. They are after the distilled creative essence of humanity, called Performa. It’s found in crowds that are inspired by music or theater, so every time some big event happens, Mirages strike. They drain our Performa until we’re just empty husks, and it provides a powerful boost of strength to these Mirages. You’re probably wondering how you fight back against such a threat, at least if you haven’t played a Persona or SMT game before. If you have, you know that it takes fire to fight fire. A small percentage of humans can see Mirages, and by joining forces with heroic ones, they become Mirage Masters. These humans are empowered by their Mirage, granted powerful armor as the Mirage itself turns into their primary weapon, called Carnage. Thus equipped, you and your band of heroes fights back, repelling these otherworldly invaders (portrayed on the map as floating red wraiths) and returning things to normal. Just be wary, since some evil Mirages have possessed prominent humans to do their bidding. There’s other parts to the story, such as the mystery of Tiki’s lost memories and an incident a few years back where a group of people vanished, including Tsubasa’s sister, but I’ll leave those portions for you to discover.

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Speaking of characters, let’s spend some time discussing the main ones. You play as Itsuki Aoi. He’s a mild mannered boy known as the Prince of Denseness, yet his support helps all his friends grow and reach their ultimate potential. He’s not quite an avatar, but he’s also the least fleshed out character in the game. Then there’s Itsuki’s childhood friend, Tsubasa. She suffered some serious trauma as a child, yet has still managed to grow into a loving and strong person. She’s also a ridiculous fangirl, and often gets so perplexed she walks into walls and gets tongue tied, inverting word order. Or take Touma, a hot headed action hero in training that uses confidence to hide his insecurity. There’s the old pro Kiria, entertainer extraordinaire and literal ice queen, at least until you reveal her soft and fluffy side. Then there’s Ellie, a girl of mixed ethnicity with a sharp tongue who has aspirations of Hollywood fame. For those who prefer innocence, there’s the sweet and demure Mamori, a young actress with her own popular cooking show that wants to protect those she loves. Finally, there’s the cold and brutally honest Yashiro. He starts out as a bitter rival to your team, but eventually you convince him to look past his misconceptions and discover the pain he’s hiding.

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But that’s just the main characters. There’s three other important supporting characters, and they’re all tremendous as well. Your boss is the busty and flirtatious Maiko, a one time model that runs the Fortuna agency with iron determination. There’s nothing she won’t do to help her stable of artists prosper, and that especially includes getting completely drunk while making connections. Or there’s Tiki, an ethereal green haired maiden whose name may sound familiar to Fire Emblem fans. Devoid of any physical form, Tiki only exists in the Bloom Palace, a extra-dimensional realm accessible from the Fortuna office. Though she has no memories, that doesn’t prevent her from showing off her loving and helpful side, always willing to help out her Big Brother! And finally there’s my favorite, Barry Goodman. A former metal rocker and Mirage Master, Barry has seen better days, but he’s always willing to train new talent. He’s also a worse fanboy than Tsubasa, and his brash and quirky personality provided some of my biggest laughs.

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Now, none of the plot or character would much matter if the game wasn’t fun, but Encore is a delight. In large part, that’s due to the complex and kinetic combat. You fight with a team of 3, and your goal is to attack the enemy to pinpoint their weaknesses. Once you’ve done that, by using a Skill that exploits it, you’ll initiate the titular Sessions. Essentially, this is a giant chain of attacks that proceeds from a single one, ignoring enemy defenses. Initially this only involves your current team, but eventually you’ll acquire the ability to include your sub cast of characters, leading to massive combos. When you have one foe left, you’ll deal Overkill damage, providing great rewards of cash and Performa. As you level up, your Carnage learn new Skills, and you get to choose which you keep and which you toss. Additionally, you can change out any member of your team whenever you want, other than Itsuki. This allows you to bring in the right character for the task at hand, and manipulate the field of battle to your advantage. Just keep in mind, only the characters in combat level up their Carnage, while everybody levels up their character level regardless.

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You also have at your disposal powerful Special and Ad-lib Performances. Special Performances use energy you’ve filled up in your meter by attacking, and has some tremendously powerful effects. Some of my favorite examples are temporarily increasing enemy weaknesses, healing your entire team, fatally killing enemies and much more. Ad-lib are also quite powerful, but only activate randomly when characters use Skills with the corresponding attack type. For example, if Ellie uses a Bow attack, she may use One-Sided Love, which damages all your foes and charms them to boot. If instead you use a Lightning Skill like Maziodyne with Itsuki, you might activate Back Chorus, zapping the entire field. Last of all are Duo Arts. You won’t have access to these until the latter portion of the game, but once you do, they make a big difference. They often trigger during long Sessions, and have two of your teammates join together for tremendous and powerful attacks. A great example is The Tunnel Home, where Barry, dressed like a giant dog, races to catch Mamori’s axe, and then charges the foe headfirst with it, ripping them to shreds. Keep in mind that while both Ad-lib Performances and Duo Arts are random, having a higher Luck stat seems to trigger them more often, since Ellie, who has very high luck, seemed to trigger these types of attack the most.

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Like any good RPG, you can upgrade your gear, crafting more powerful weapons. This process is called Unity, and it’s done at the Bloom Palace with Performa dropped by defeated foes. When you gather enough, you can have Tiki conduct a Carnage Unity, making a new weapon with enhanced stats and differing weaknesses by fusing the gathered Performa with your Mirage. Eventually you can craft +1 or higher versions of the same Carnage, which is useful when you can’t find the right Performa to make a new weapon. Also, whenever you make a new one, you have a chance to learn a new Special Performance, meaning it’s in your best interest to keep on fighting so you can make stronger weapons and learn more abilities. For the most part, I felt this loop worked very well, and only hit a wall that forced me to grind for parts a couple of times in my near 50 hour experience. Another type of Unity is Radiant Unity, where you use special Performa found only in the many Side Stories to learn new abilities that you don’t have to equip and which are constantly in use. A good example is Open Audition, which lets your sub cast of characters jump into Sessions. An integral one is learned by Itsuki, called Director Itsuki, which lets you switch foes after you kill one and keep the Session going. Finally, like any good Fire Emblem, you can change your class. You do this with (you guessed it) Master Seals, which are either mission rewards or found in hard to reach corners of dungeons. This lets you further customize your experience and changes the look of your Mirage, though I admit I found the starting forms preferable to many of the downright strange looking upgraded classes. But that’s just a matter of personal preference, you might find that you love the look of these new forms.

The Show Must Continue on Page 2 ->

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Although the plot isn’t Encore’s strong suit, that isn’t the same as saying the writing falls flat. I found most of the dialogue very funny and revealing, whether it be conveyed in some grand speech or in digital messages called Topics. In the original Tokyo Mirage Sessions, Topics were relegated to the Gamepad, and notified you when one of your characters had something to say, or when you could start a new Side Story. Though Topics are alive and well here, instead they’re relegated to the + button. This wasn’t problematic per se, but oftentimes I would open up the main menu, which is separate from the Topic menu. This only cost me a few seconds to close it out and open the right one, but it was far less intuitive than originally on the Wii U. That said, the Topics are often hilarious, showing banter between Itsuki and his friends. The Topic menu also helps keep track of which Side Stories are in progress, and is where you’ll find the dungeon maps. I loved the Side Stories in the game, since not only did they showcase more of the cast’s personalities, but they provided powerful upgrades and Backup Skills for the sub characters. My only issue was when it wasn’t clear how to progress certain missions, such as when Tsubasa is on the hunt for a stray cat, and the clues you’re given are entirely open ended and unnecessarily vague. The missions that involved combat or just progressed like a Visual Novel were much more to my liking, since I get frustrated whenever I get stuck. That said, it occurred to me as I played that if there’s ever a VN made of Encore, it would most definitely be a Harem VN. Itsuki becomes the love interest of ALL the female characters, even though he’s too dense to realize it. Even the men all respect and admire him. In other words, there’s a universe in which Itsuki finally learns the full extent of Maiko’s many charms, and that’s a tale I would definitely read.

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The dungeons in Encore play out very much like a Persona game. Enemies will appear and chase you, though most can be stunned with Itsuki’s sword to gain First Strike during battle. There’s also terrifying Savage enemies, black wraiths that can’t be knocked down and which generally are 10+ levels higher than your team. Though dungeons aren’t littered with traps and false floors, they each have a unique gimmick that makes traversal a challenge. While the very first one is incredibly basic, the one immediately after that is a giant step up in terms of complexity and difficulty. It has you manipulate empty mannequins, raising or lowering their arms, then progressing through the cuffs to reach new areas. There’s another that is full of devious cameras that take your picture and return you to the very beginning, not unlike the Wallmasters in Zelda. Pretty much each dungeon is distinct looking and offers a robust challenge, and none other than the first can be breezed through. Most took me more than 2 hours, and the final one easily took 8 or more. Thankfully, early on Tsubasa acquires the Traport skill, which lets you transport yourself back to Fortuna HQ, where you can heal your team with a soda. Depending on the type of can, you will also increase the luck of certain characters temporarily. I had no issue with this, other than my confusion about the very first dungeon having a heal spot, and none of the others. But so long as you don’t mind a little back and forth teleportation, you shouldn’t have any problems getting through these dungeons. Just put on your thinking cap and get ready to fight back hordes of Mirages.

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It wouldn’t be a satisfying RPG without tough bosses, and Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE Encore delivers. Every time I thought I was getting overpowered in the game, the next boss would prove me wrong. None of the bosses here are easy, at least on the Normal difficulty I chose. Most of them can wipe you out in a couple turns, especially if your team is weak to any of their attacks. Each boss usually has a posse of minor foes, and while that might seem unfair, since they can summon more, they’re there for a reason. Namely, so you can defeat the minor foes to build up your Session meter and then unleash powerful attacks on the bosses. I enjoyed the challenge provided by these fights, and only found a handful to be a pain. One was a doppleganger of Yashiro that could split himself into clones, and which would go into a counter stance to parry any physical attacks. Another was Excellus, a floating mechanical mage that changed his resistances during the fight, and which could hit my team with unrelenting magical attacks. There’s a couple others, but overall I wasn’t upset with the more difficult bosses. They just required I be willing to grind up my levels and equipment a bit, a skill I gathered recently thanks to games like Persona Q.

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Now, it wouldn’t be fair to talk about Encore without touching upon the new content. First of all, you have a rather silly (yet awesome) ability at the start to choose whether or not Tsubasa wears glasses in the game. As a fan of the sexy librarian trope, I opted for it. Besides that, the DLC which was previously only available to those that paid for it is part of the main package now. It’s essentially free, since this version of the game costs as much as the base version of the original, $59.99. The DLC, which opens up a couple dungeons into the game, includes 3 areas you can tackle. One is full of Savage enemies that reward you with Tomes which help level up faster; another area gives you Skill Books, for learning new Skills much faster; and lastly one has Detritus, which can be traded for stat boosting Incense. While I’m fine with these options, I didn’t use them much. Mostly cause there was no story there, you can’t save in these areas, and frankly Savage foes are a giant pain in the ass. What I would have preferred was an area full of Rare Mirages, which often drop hard to find Performa necessary for powerful Carnage Unity. In my entire playthrough, I maybe encountered 10 of these Mirages, and what’s worse, they aren’t tied to any specific area. That wasn’t a huge problem til later in the game, but it is worth mention.

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However, the real draw for Encore is the EX Story. It all takes place in a new dungeon called the Area of Aspiration, where supposedly your dreams are brought into physical form. I admit I was tentatively very excited about the EX Story, as I hoped it would provide an excuse to spend more time with this world. Unfortunately, I have to confirm it’s rather short and insubstantial. The story tied to the Area of Aspiration only involves Itsuki, Tsubasa and Kiria, and none of the others. While it’s cool you can find new costumes there, and I appreciated unlocking the use of Tiki, Maiko and Barry in Sessions, that’s also not the same as them being playable characters. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for tiny green dragons, busty ninjas and knights clad in dog-armor, but I also don’t feel like the process of unlocking them was fulfilling. In the main story, you progress in Side Stories and learn more about your teammates, and then those revelations empower them. Here, you just open a chest and get new features. Plus, I’m still not clear how Maiko and Barry, who lack Mirages, magically get the ability to fight Mirages, which the game states over and over again is the sole province of a Mirage Master. And though you can’t get through the Area of Aspiration all at once, since parts of it are gated behind other content, it’s still over way too soon. It only has 3 chapters and one boss. I was really hoping for a meaty dungeon to spend hours and hours in after I beat the final boss. Instead, I got maybe a couple hours of extra content that left me wanting more than the one new song, “She Is”, rewarded to you at the very end of the experience. Which isn’t to say I hated the EX Story, I didn’t. I just feel a game of this caliber deserved better.

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As for how the game game looks and plays, both are fantastic. Even though the original Tokyo Mirage Sessions was on the Wii U, and while the limitations of that console are still apparent (reused enemy models, limited draw distance, a seemingly sprawling map that’s only composed of a few areas), it in no way prevents this from being a beautiful game. I love how random passerby are rainbow colored, or how the Fortuna office gets decorated after various performances with posters, or even the neon portraits of your team during battle. Hell, even though they reuse enemy models with a new coat of paint, there’s a good variety of foes, from giant clown heads to winged raiders to hideous giants and top-hat wearing ghosts. Of special note are the game’s bosses, which each are stunning looking and showcase a distinct aesthetic style. And each of the characters’ different Mirages are all full of personality that is matched by their design. Musically, I love the game equally. While the main combat and exploration themes are somewhat laid back, I live for when the music of performances enters the fray of battle. I still tap my feet to the Duo Arts “Dream Catcher” and “Give Me”, and am always impressed by the Kiria’s bad ass tunes, such as her Ad-lib Performance “The Labyrinth.” There’s tons of rocking tunes in Encore, from a wide range of genres. I never thought I liked J-pop, but Tokyo Mirage Sessions may have proven me wrong. Oh and though I am not fluent in Japanese in the slightest, I loved the personality and pop provided by the vocal cast, in and out of combat.

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Now, while I like almost everything about Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE Encore, reviewing games for this many years has trained me to view things critically. As such, the following are minor frustrations that dragged the experience down a bit. One are the bestiary’s enemy locations. These can be viewed from your main menu, and are integral when you need to farm the right Performa for weapons and skills. Unfortunately, the enemy locations found here don’t correspond to the actual area map. Another issue is that I wish that once you see a scene, you can skip it entirely the next time. Often right before a boss fight there’s a ton of dialogue, and while you can speed through it, you can’t skip it, and you definitely can’t skip Topic notifications that are story related. This made the final boss fight all the harder, since there’s a massive scene right before it, and it takes a good minute and a half to speed through it. I also kind of wish the map wasn’t on the Topic menu, but the other huge main menu, since it can be time consuming transitioning between them. It’s also a bit irritating that you’ll get notifications of a side story about to open up, then have to wait til it’s triggered. This is after you level up your Stage Rank, which is in itself a nebulous process, since there’s no counter that tells you when it’s full, unlike character and Carnage level. And one last thing that really irritated me was that I always had tons of money in-game, literally millions, but not enough things to spend it on. The Carabia boutique has a very limited supply of equipment, and none that is really game changing. Even buying all the costumes from Harajuka left me millions in the bank. I almost wish this game took mechanics from a game like Persona Q, letting you farm materials that you trade in to create new equipment regularly. Other than these, I very much enjoyed the game.

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All in all, I’m still very much a fan of Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE after beating Encore. It’s basically the same game, just with a bit of extra content thrown in and some minor quality of life improvements such as the Quick Session option and faster load times. While I was ultimately unimpressed with the EX Story, I still appreciate being able to play one of my favorite Wii U exclusives on my Switch portably. If you’re a fan of Japanese culture and love crazy RPGs full of heart, you owe it to yourself to play Encore. Now I just have to cross my fingers and pray we get a true sequel that improves on this already fantastic experience.

[easyreview cat1title=”Overall” cat1detail=”” cat1rating=”4.5″]

Review Copy Provided by Publisher

REVIEW: Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE Encore Title Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE Encore

[itsworn]

5 Tips For Building The Ultimate Street Turbo V8!

More and more car crafters are opting for a turbocharged setup on their builds, and Prestige Motorsports is feeding the need with a lineup of turbo-ready bullets, including this 427 cubic-inch Windsor which can handle over 1,500 horsepower and 28 pounds of boost.

Turbos and superchargers have been around practically forever, but we are entering the golden age of boost for the common man because engine control systems have finally advanced to the point that they don’t require a nuclear physicist to use.

As proof, we’ll just point to the fact that people are pulling 5.3-liter LS engines out of trucks in junkyards, slapping on a turbo, and making insane power right and left these days. Our own Richard Holdener has tested multiple variations on this theme right here in Car Craft, and every time we continued to be surprised by how easy it is and how much power he makes.

The baseline for this build is a new Ford Performance 351 Windsor aluminum block. Besides being lighter than a cast-iron block, this casting is super strong with 356-T6 aluminum, splayed four-bolt billet steel main caps, and webbing across the valley tray. The 9.5-inch deck height will allow a maximum 4.250-inch stroke, although for this build the stroke will be limited to 4.000 inches.

Of course, while adding a turbo is easier than ever, that doesn’t mean you can just bolt a big hairdryer to any old engine and enjoy complete success. That may work with small systems, but if you want to make big power (and who doesn’t?), you do need to take a few precautions.

Prestige Motorsports in Concord, NC, is no stranger to the boosted game with several big-power builds under their belt. Interestingly, they’ve seen a growing market for boost-ready engines that car builders can fabricate their own systems around.

If you are going to make a ton of power you must use a rotating assembly that can withstand the punishment. For this combo, Prestige chose a set of 6.250-long Oliver I-beam connecting rods to go with eight full-skirted JE forged pistons with a 4.125 diameter. At 680 grams for the rods and 476 for the pistons, this is overkill for a naturally aspirated build, but all that beef equals strength and definitely the way to go when pushing a ton of boost.

Their latest creation is this big-inch 432ci Ford Windsor that will be going into a ’66 Mustang Fastback currently being built in California. On the dyno, the engine made a tick over 550 horsepower, and it’s designed to handle well over 1,500 horsepower and 28 pounds of boost. We’ll cover the details of the engine build in the accompanying photos, but the critical thing here is that it gives us the perfect opportunity to pass along important tips to make any engine boost friendly.

1. Mind the Gap Practically the biggest mistake you can make when installing a turbo on any engine is to ignore the ring gaps. Piston rings are gapped within a thousandth of an inch so that when the engine is running and putting heat to the piston rings, the gaps close up as much as possible without touching. This can become an issue because adding a turbo on any engine generates extra heat in the combustion chambers.

In the old days, the rule of thumb was to never run race bearings on a street engine because the harder bearings weren’t as easy on crank journals over the long haul like softer “street” bearings. But that was then. With the huge forces being transmitted in a 1,500-horsepower engine, a harder race bearing is necessary. Prestige chose King’s XP main and rod bearings which stand up well to harsh loads generated by turbos.

For example, on this Ford with 4.125-inch diameter JE pistons, the ring gap is set at 0.034 inches with the expectation that this engine will eventually make well over 1,100 horsepower under boost. Prestige’s lead engine builder, the man known simply as “Senior,” says that if he were building the same engine naturally aspirated (NA), he’d bring the ring gaps down to 0.024 to 0.026 of an inch.

A big challenge with turbo engines is keeping the combustion chamber sealed despite the incredible pressures created. For most applications you can get by with using a quality MLS head gasket, but for this engine Prestige decided to cut O-rings grooves in the block. With O-rings, even if combustion stretches the head studs, the O-rings will help maintain seal until the cylinder head settles back into place.

The problem with sticking a turbo on a naturally aspirated engine with small ring gaps is the extra heat generated in the combustion chambers will expand the rings until the ends butt together. When that happens, the ring scores the cylinder wall and likely will even break the piston—and a broken piston means a grenaded engine.

2. Cam Considerations You often hear that a turbo likes the same cam profile as an NA engine, and for the most part, that’s true. But you can pick up power by opening up the lobe separation on the cam a bit to reduce the valve overlap. This helps because during overlap the extra pressure created by the turbo can pump the air/fuel charge into the combustion chamber and right out past the exhaust valve before it closes.

The crankshaft is one of Callies’ high-end Magnum units. The Magnum cranks are a great choice for applications like this because they are super strong, including 2.750-inch Cleveland mains, but also gun-drilled through both the main and rod journals to keep the weight down. Main studs from ARP replace the usual main bolts to help increase the clamping load on the billet steel caps.

Fuel that gets into the exhaust port before it has a chance to be burned produces no power, so it’s essentially wasted. By opening up the lobe separation, it reduces the amount of time both the intake and exhaust valves are open together. Senior says for a turbo engine you generally want to open up the lobe separation from four to six degrees versus NA. For example, a lobe separation of 108 degrees is pretty common on a camshaft for a NA engine. When turbocharging the same engine, it will perform best with 114 degrees of lobe separation.

3. Ignition Issues If you think about it right, turbocharging artificially creates a higher-compression engine. Because it is pumping additional air and fuel into the combustion chambers, at piston TDC all those molecules are packed together much more tightly than on a NA engine with the same compression ratio.

Prestige worked with JE to design custom pistons for the build. A generous dish helps keep the compression turbo friendly at 9.0:1 despite the long 4.00-inch stroke.

Having extra fuel in the chamber to burn makes more power, but it also makes life more difficult for the ignition system. It may seem a bit reversed, but packing too many fuel molecules into the combustion chamber can make it more difficult to light off the fuel and start the combustion process. To help this, make sure you have a quality ignition system that makes a strong, consistent spark. In addition, you can aid the process by closing up the spark plug gaps a bit to make sure the spark always makes the jump from the electrode to the strap every time it fires.

4. Oil Access Roots-style superchargers are normally self-contained with their own supply of lubricant, but that’s not the case with turbos. They require a constant supply of pressurized oil from the engine not only to provide lubrication, but also to keep things cool.

Turbos must be fed cool, pressurized oil from the engine, and that means there has to be a way to return the oil where it came from. Prestige secured a -10 AN fitting to each side of the top of the Canton 7-quart, front-sump oil pan ahead of time to make plumbing the oil system for the turbos a piece of cake.

Providing oil to the turbos isn’t usually a big deal. There are any number of places you can tap into oil feed lines to send oil to a turbo or two. But don’t forget that oil also has to make its way back to the engine. When building the engine, go ahead and install an AN fitting or two in the side of the oil pan to provide a good place for the oil to drain from the turbo back to the engine. The pan is always the best place to return the oil because it should be significantly lower than the turbo to help aid drain back. If you wait until after the engine is built you will need to either pull the oil pan or try to drill into the pan and install a fitting without leaving any metal shavings behind.

Just go ahead and do it right ahead of time.

5. Boost Isn’t Absolute Too often we’ve seen people treat boost pressure like a concrete number. Unlike compression ratio, displacement, or other common measures on an engine, boost pressure is a relative number and really shouldn’t be compared between dissimilar engines.

A set of 0.847-diameter BAM solid roller lifters are activated by a custom-ground camshaft from Comp with 254- /248-degrees duration at 0.050-inch lift, a wide 114 degrees of separation, and 0.622- /0.616-inch gross valve lift.

The truth is, boost pressure is a measure of airflow restriction in your engine—not how much air your turbo is moving. For example, let’s imagine we have an engine making 750 horsepower under 20 pounds of boost with a single turbo. Now we pull and port the cylinder heads for that engine and reassemble it, changing nothing else. If quality port work has been done, that engine will make more horsepower with less boost because it can flow air and fuel into the combustion chambers more efficiently.

The point here is not to get too hung up on boost numbers. Boost can help hide some sins in the intake tract, but just like in NA engines, a more efficient intake and exhaust will always make more power.

O-rings require specific head gaskets; a coated copper head gasket from Flatout Gaskets provides the softness and sealing ability necessary to work in this application.

Here, you can see the O-rings pressed into the receiver grooves cut into the AFR Renegade cylinder heads. By the way, those are 72cc combustion chambers fitted with 2.100- /1.570-inch diameter stainless valves.

Scorpion’s Endurance Series aluminum rocker arms are 1.6:1 ratio and fit on a 7/16-inch rocker stud.

It’s a mistake to assume that pressurizing the airflow into the engine via a turbo means you don’t have to worry about port quality. Just like a naturally aspirated engine, better flowing ports will improve efficiency and horsepower. To this end, Prestige spent some time port matching the intake manifold to the 200cc CNC intake ports in the AFR heads.

Induction is handled by a Holley 105mm throttle body attached to a Holley Hi-Ram EFI intake manifold.

The Holley injectors are sized at 120 lbs/hr to be turbo ready. For a NA engine this size, the injectors would likely be sized around 42 lbs/hr.

A dyno chart really isn’t critical with this engine since the turbos will be added later, but it is interesting to see how it did. In NA trim, Prestige says a similar engine will make 600 horsepower, so the fact that this one with less compression and a camshaft that’s been ground for boost still makes 550 is pretty impressive. The real purpose for the dyno session is to tune the Holley HP EFI system so once in the car the owner can fire up the engine to test the systems and even drive it around reliably until he can update the tune for the turbo system.

On The Dyno

RPM: TQ: HP: 3,500 446.4 297.5 3,600 438.0 300.2 3,700 437.3 308.1 3,800 441.8 319.7 3,900 447.1 332.0 4,000 449.0 342.0 4,100 450.9 352.0 4,200 452.3 361.7 4,300 461.1 377.5 4,400 477.2 399.8 4,500 484.9 415.5 4,600 491.0 430.0 4,700 499.3 446.8 4,800 503.0 459.7 4,900 505.8 471.9 5,000 509.8 485.3 5,100 511.9 497.1 5,200 511.4 506.3 5,300 510.0 514.7 5,400 506.1 520.4 5,500 501.8 525.5 5,600 494.8 527.6 5,700 488.6 530.3 5,800 486.4 537.2 5,900 479.8 539.0 6,000 475.8 543.6 6,100 471.9 548.1 6,200 467.8 552.2 6,300 460.5 552.4 6,400 451.8 550.6 6,500 445.4 551.2 6,600 438.8 551.4 6,700 428.3 546.4

The post 5 Tips For Building The Ultimate Street Turbo V8! appeared first on Hot Rod Network.

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[nerdarchy-blog]

Hello! The Nerdarchy crew is back home from Indianapolis and back to work on all our nerdy projects. Gen Con 2018 was an incredible experience for Nerdarchists Dave and Ted, Nerditor Doug and Intern Jake, and we wanted to share some of the highlights from our excursion to the Best Four Days in Gaming. Our favorite thing about conventions is meeting up with and hanging out with friends from all over the place; seeing all the awesome roleplaying games, art and other swag; and the incredible costumes and cosplay. But more than anything, the best part is hanging out with thousands of fantastic folks from around the world to celebrate nerd culture. Down below you’ll find links to a lot of the stuff mentioned in this recap, in case you’re interested, plus a photo gallery of our adventures at Gen Con 2018.

Working vacation at Gen Con 2018

Rolling into downtown Indianapolis for Gen Con 2018 was a special treat for all of the Nerdarchy crew in attendance. For Nerdarchist Dave and me, the now-familiar territory felt like a home-away-from-home. The Indiana Convention Center, Lucas Oil Stadium, the Gen Con Block Party and all the surrounding hotels were decked out as always, ready for the tens of thousands of us to enjoy the Best Four Days in Gaming. For Nerdarchist Ted and Intern Jake, it was their first time attending so they got to experience the wide-eyed amazement at the size and scope of the event.

After hotel check-in, the crew wasted no time getting down to business though — we were there to enjoy ourselves, sure, but we had serious work to do. With the studio equipment in tow, we set up a makeshift studio in the hotel room to shoot as many videos as we could over the weekend. With so many amazing people in town, we had to get some of them on camera. Intern Jake scheduled set visits like a champ, contacting and coordinating a ton of creators who stopped by to talk nerdy with Nerdarchists Dave and Ted.

Instead of doing interview-style shoots though, we produced a string of videos like our regular daily content to discuss the same kind of helpful topics, tips and tricks we usually do, except with a special guest sitting in for one of the Nerdarchists. Stuff like designing monsters for D&D, live streaming roleplaying games, creating pantheons and deities, running the best game ever, and creating an urban campaign (with a bit of insight into the upcoming Waterdeep: Dragon Heist) are just a few of a videos you’ll see in the coming weeks. There were so many guests, it’s hard to remember them all! But here’s a few to watch for on the Nerdarchy YouTube channel in the near future:

Keith Baker

Monte Cook

BJ Hensley

Ryan Schapels

Dan Dillon

James J. Haeck

Sarah Dahlinger

Brian Stillman

Andrew Armstrong

Rob McCreary

All in all we shot about 24 videos between Thursday and Sunday! There’s a bunch more cool people who swung by the set and we’ll be posting those videos in the weeks to come. Stay tuned to Nerdarchy for those!

Hanging with friends new and old to celebrate nerd culture

Pretty much everywhere we went, the crew ran into someone we knew and had great experiences spending time with them. If you enjoyed any of the official video content from Gen Con 2018, you can give thanks to our buddy Bill Allen. He and his crew handled videography for the official Gen Con Twitch channel. Bill was super busy all weekend making sure everything ran smoothly. But we managed to sneak in some time with him on Wednesday night. He’s an awesome guy, and his job as an educator means he brings student creators along to learn while doing. How cool is that? His students get fantastic experience behind the scenes at big events like this, plus chances to network with industry professionals and help build their future in the field.

Along with Bill, we hung out with our friend Cody Lewis from the Taking 20 YouTube channel. Cody was there with his wife, who got to see another side to her husband’s endeavors. Fans of Cody’s work stopped to say hi and thank him throughout the weekend, which is an awesome feeling for any creator. On top of all that, his wife played her first RPG session at Gen Con 2018! She played a barbarian in a Second Edition Pathfinder Playtest game and genuinely loved rolling her first critical hit against a kobold.

Another night, unMadeGaming’s Mike Hunt co-organized a Twitch streamer meetup with fellow streamer Speedy, where a whole bunch of people showed up to celebrate together and get to know one another. Andrew Armstrong from Dawnforgedcast, Grant Ellis, MsGingaNinja, Jorphdan, Askren, Ted from Nerd Immersion, Eric Vulgaris, and a whole bunch of other people hung out. It wasn’t just for Twitch streamers exclusively, or even gamers. There were streamers who make pottery, streamers who make quilts, authors, game designers and more. It was really terrific to meet and spend time with so many creative people.

On Saturday night, Nerdarchist Dave and I wound up at a party hosted by Peter Adkinson. There were a ton of people at the shindig. Our friends Satine Phoenix and Ruty Rutenberg were there, Kyle Vogt, Matthew Lillard, Dwarven Forge founder Stefan Pokorny, Ivan van Norman, filmmaker friends Kelley Slagle and Seth Polansky and a throng of others. I had a wonderful time geeking out about layout design and editing with Chris de la Rosa from Hunters Books, and Nerdarchist Dave did what he does best — making new friends and talking shop. (Okay, maybe tied for best — he’s a pretty good Game Master too!)

Nerdarchists Dave and Ted ran into a ton of people they know on the convention floor, and fans stopped for photos or to say thanks to the guys for doing what they do. So may awesome people we know had booths at Gen Con 2018 too! Everytime we turned around, there was someone we knew. Creature Curations’ Brian Colin, the entire Starcalled Studios crew, Jetpack 7’s Aaron and Sarah Hubrich, Dan Dillon and Stephen Rowe manning the Kobold Press booth, Rone Barton at the booth for…you know what? I don’t recall exactly. There was a bunch of different stuff there.

A very special sighting for me was Jared Sorensen at the Burning Wheel booth. I’d been hoping to catch Adam Koebel there, since he was sharing the booth with his Dungeon World RPG. He wasn’t around, and as I turned the corner I caught sight of an indie RPG called Lacuna Part 1: The Creation of the Mystery and the Girl from Blue City. I literally exclaimed “Holy $**t!” when I saw it. Years ago, after I saw the film Inception, I immediately felt like I had to find an RPG similar to the world of the movie. I discovered Lacuna Part 1 while searching for such a game. It’s a really terrific RPG where you travel into dream worlds looking for anomalies and insidious thought-creatures. The guy at the booth asked me how I knew the game and I was gushing about it before realizing he was the creator, Jared Sorensen! This was one of my most fond convention memories right away. Jared was super cool and we talked about games for a while, and he gave me a sticker and patch of his game company logo, Memento Mori.

Lauren Erwin (@ThatSaltyGinger on Twitter) and Nerditor Doug, two original members of the Iron Dabbers.

Oh! And I ran into D&D party fam! Late one night heading back to the hotel I spotted Lauren Erwin in the hall. She is an original member of the Iron Dabbers, a D&D party from the live stream Secrets of Castle Greyhawk game I play in every Thursday on The Greyhawk Channel on Twitch. It was super cool to see her. I love that campaign and although Lauren wasn’t able to continue (she’s a busy lady!) she’ll always be an OG member of the crew and I am happy to call her a friend.

And we got to see the premiere of Eye of the Beholder: The Art of Dungeons & Dragons! Nerdarchist Dave and I were among the first people anywhere in the world to see this phenomenal documentary by our friends Brian Stillman, Seth Polansky and Kelley Slagle. IT IS AWESOME. If you have ever played D&D, you will love this movie. They traced the history of D&D art back to the beginning and talked with dozens and dozens of artists whose iconic work has been bringing the game to life for over 40 years. And I’m not the only one who thinks this film is the most — it won the Gen Con Film Festival award for best documentary.

All of this only scratches the surface of everything and everyone we saw at Gen Con 2018!

Awesome RPGs and other stuff

For me and Nerdarchist Ted, filling out bags with new games, minis and other swag is one of our favorite convention activities. I don’t have a complete rundown of Nerdarchist Ted’s haul, but I know for sure he got a whole slew of minis. On top of his own gets, many creators donated items to add to the Nerdarchy giveaway vault. Make sure to check out the Saturday Quests & Adventures live chats on the Nerdarchy YouTube channel and stay informed about these giveaways. We do them all the time so there’s lots of chances to get all sorts of great stuff.

This year I tried to be a little more conservative with my purchases. Usually I come home with twice as much luggage as I arrive with, but I reigned it in a bit for Gen Con 2018.

For starters, I picked up two Kickstarters I backed. Masters and Minions from Jetpack 7 and Kids on Bikes deluxe edition with the Powered Character Deck are two things I couldn’t wait to get my hands on. The PDF versions were sent out already, but there’s something special about having the physical books in hand for any RPG product. Masters and Minions is gorgeous. No surprise there, as the artwork in Jetpack 7 stuff is always top notch. The book is packed with detailed NPC creatures and the forces serving them, featuring design work from Aaron Hubrich, Jim Pinto, David Adams and one of my favorite creators, Dan Dillon. I’ve been waiting to get my hands on this one particularly to check out Grissek’k The Orc Queen, which does not disappoint. My other favorite master and minion combo is The Created. Check out this book if you like fleshed out villains for your Fifth Edition games!

Kids on Bikes is another one I hotly anticipated. Anyone who knows me knows I’m one of those D&D nerds who is comfortable using those rules for all sorts of genres beyond fantasy. So beyond the D&D ruleset, my favorite sorts of RPGs are modern-era (or close to it) games featuring regular folks in extraordinary circumstances. Kids on Bikes is all about regular people confronted with irregular situations like the supernatural, along with a group-controlled character who has special powers. It’s a toss up between this and Tales from the Loop for the one I like the best. But if I’m honest, after reading through them both I might take a bit from column A and a bit from column B. Kids on Bikes contains a ton of awesome ideas for creating characters and group dynamics, making it a valuable resource for roleplaying games in general.

Outbreak: Undead Second Edition from Hunters Entertainment and Renegade Game Studios is the other RPG I added to my collection. Truth be told, I didn’t know anything about it but the book is slick, and after flipping through it looks like a suggested style of play is taking the players themselves as characters and imagining a zombie apocalypse in your own hometown. Told you I like those sorts of games 😉 What really sold me though is the layout and design of the book. It has a lot of cool thematic and artistic elements making it fun to look and read through. And guess what? The person who wrote it and contributed to graphic design and layout is Chris de la Rosa — the guy I would wind up talking with the next day at that Peter Adkinson party!

On the same whim I picked up Arboretum, a tabletop game by Dan Cassar. Never heard of it, didn’t demo it but got it nevertheless. Why? The art intrigues me. The cover has a big purple tree and a multitude of colorful symbols around it, and the back shows the various card types, also trees of various colors. The goal of the game is to “create carefully planned paths for your visitors to walk as they take in the colorful explosion of buds and leaves.” Doesn’t that sound wonderful? It’s a competitive game, but with all the players competing to create something beautiful, it sounds like a delightful way to spend 30 minutes.

One game I did demo was the Final Fantasy Trading Card Game. I loves me some Final Fantasy, so I had to try it out. It’s really fun! Cards feature all the characters you’d imagine like Cloud, Lightning, Squall, Tidus, Yuna, Garland, Sephiroth and pretty much every character from all the games including Dissidia, Tactics and more. It was easy to understand and pick up, but of course like any card game there’s deeper strategies to discover. I got two decks so I’d have enough to play with friends, one featuring Lightning and the other Cloud. Also, I got a free Kain card for doing the demo. Dragoon FTW! On a side note, it just struck me while at Gen Con that many FF protagonists are named after atmospheric conditions. Derp.

I also came home with two Atmar’s Cardography dungeon decks from Brian Colin/Creature Curations. These are really special to me, because I was part of the team that brought them to life! Brian is an amazing person, and I did some editing work on the project. These are very cool products, basically huge dungeons with a room on each card. You can play through the whole thing following a preconstructed pattern, or follow small mini-dungeon setups, or just deal out rooms randomly as you go. There’s one for the Fiery Pits, a volcanic dungeon, and another for the Icy Divide, a frozen labyrinth. PDF guidebooks are available for both Fifth Edition and Fate. The adventures are designed to take place in Brian’s World of Revilo, a fantasy realm he created with his son while telling bedtime stories. It’s really amazing. Coming up, he’ll be launching a Kickstarter for three more sets as well. While at the booth, some passersby stopped to take a look and since the booth attendant was occupied, I explained the decks to the two people who came by. The attendant made their way over and commended my on the salesmanship. (I’m pretty familiar with them!) Also I got to meet Isaac Skaggs in person, another creator on the team.

Of course, I had to get myself some dice because…dice. It’s a tradition for me at any convention. For Gen Con 2018 I went with Elder Dice: Astral Elder Sign. They’re pretty snazzy and come in a spell book box you can use for a dice tray. Hopefully I’ll be able to snag a Yellow Sign of Hastur set at some point too. I missed the Kickstarter for them but maybe with a little eldritch luck things will pan out.

The last two things I picked up are both pieces of art. The first was a print from Voidbug, an illustrator who had an awesome selection of vibrant, ethereal art. Choosing one from everything she had to offer was tough, but I’m more than happy with the one I got and can’t wait to hang it up in the office. The second piece of art was one of Chris Seaman’s Cameo Creeps. Chris is a phenomenal artist who’s done a bunch of work for D&D, Magic: The Gathering and other games. One of my favorite pieces of D&D art is by him, the tiefling Star Pact warlock from fourth edition D&D. His Cameo Creeps are tiny monster paintings inside cameo frames. There’s a ton of them, making this choice even harder than my Voidbug print. In the end I went with Lady Wanda Glubberneck. She’s got an aquatic look reminiscent of sahuagin, one of my favorite D&D monsters that I’d been talking with someone about earlier that day.

Best part of Gen Con 2018

All parties, get-togethers, events, games and fun new stuff aside, there’s one thing about Gen Con that’s better than all of it combined. Being a nerd and enjoying this culture with so many others is absolutely priceless. By and large, the nerdy community is supportive of one another, encouraging, and welcoming. When we invite others to our games or accept invitations to theirs, we’re making new friends and connecting with new people. They might look different, or see the world different, live vastly different lifestyles or whatever. But overwhelmingly, one similarity is despite any of these differences we can all come together to share these fun and often deeply personal experiences. You can always find a fellow nerd to remind you that you can do anything you set your mind to, you can be you — the best you — and that’s a great thing. Maybe I have rose-tinted glasses on a bit, but I know there’s a heck of a lot more good out there than bad, and my fellow nerds do a fantastic job of showing it.

Round up and wrap up

Here’s a bunch of links to check out some of the stuff I mentioned above. And I also want to know about you! Did you go to Gen Con 2018 and have some awesome stories to share? Or have you gone in the past, or plan to go in the future? I’d love to hear about your best Gen Con memories, or any of your favorite convention stories in the comments below. And if you got any photos of the Nerdarchy crew from the convention, please share them and tag us on social media!

Official Gen Con Twitch channel

Hunters Books/Hunters Entertainment

Kids on Bikes

Jetpack 7

Arboretum

Final Fantasy Trading Card Game

Atmar’s Cardography

Elder Dice

Voidbug — Keep an eye on streams with me, Nerditor Doug, to see which print I got!

Cameo Creeps

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The games, cool swag, parties, and Nerdarchist Ted polymorphed into a cow #truestory there's one thing above all else making #GenCon2018 the Best Four Days in Gaming Hello! The Nerdarchy crew is back home from Indianapolis and back to work on all our nerdy projects.

[junker-town]

'The Bachelor' episode 9 recap: Raven's never had an orgasm, Corinne’s fate is sealed

In a short episode, we learn a whole lot about Raven’s past.

The last episode of The Bachelor ended on a cliffhanger, and I have a message for ABC: Stop it. At this point, these shouldn’t even be called cliffhangers, they should be called “how The Bachelor always ends now.”

You don’t have to do this. We didn’t come this far — TO THE FINAL FOUR — not to find out what happens. Those of us still watching this show are in it for the long haul. And sometimes, we just want to find out who gets sent home at the end of an episode like we did in the good old days.

WHATEVER, I’M OVER IT, LET’S DO THIS

When we left off, Andi Dorfman, Nick’s first Bachelor-franchise love, had just showed up at Nick’s hotel room. The producers tried to make it seem like maybe something was going to happen between them, but we, Sports Bachelor Nation, are smarter than that. We knew this was a fake-out, and we were right.

It's a whiskey conversation. @AndiDorfman #TheBachelor http://pic.twitter.com/otd0mIRK3x

— The Bachelor (@BachelorABC) February 28, 2017

All they do is sit around drinking whiskey and talking about Nick’s feelings. Andi’s like, “Soooo, how areeee youuuu?” in that typical way one does when one is on national TV catching up with one’s ex one met and dumped on national TV. Andi tells Nick he should sleep with the women in the fantasy suites if he wants to, rather than hold back in his desire for “clarity” (whatever that means). She calls it her feminist rant.

Most of the whiskey-fueled, feminist rants my friends and I go on end with, “AND THAT’S WHY ALL MEN ARE INHERENTLY BAD AND THE PATRIARCHY MUST BE DISMANTLED!” so I’m not sure Andi’s qualifies, but I guess there are degrees to everything.

Andi asks Nick if he regrets asking, after she dumped him, “Why would you make love with me if you weren’t in love with me?” Nick apologizes. High five, Nick. Way to realize that women don’t have to be in love to get it on.

THE COLDEST ROSE CEREMONY OF ALL TIME

The four remaining women are standing outside on a deck at a hotel in Brooklyn. They’re wearing evening gowns with jackets layered over them. It makes no sense to have them wait outside in New York City in the winter, a place that — believe it or not — does have heated indoor rooms. Trust me, I’m sitting in one right now. They exist.

The chill of a final four rose ceremony just got literal. #TheBachelor http://pic.twitter.com/72TyfVIXjO

— The Bachelor (@BachelorABC) February 28, 2017

All the women are anxiety spiraling in confessionals while Nick gets drunk with his ex-girlfriend. We’re about to cut to commercial, but, before we do, we see a preview of the rest of the episode we’re about to watch, in which Raven tells the camera that she’s never had an orgasm before.

That is ... there is ... WHAT?! She’s 25 and has never had an orgasm? Never at all? Or never with a man she’s having sex with? I have so many questions, but I’m going to wait to worry about it until we actually get to that part of the show.

BACK AT THE FREEZING COLD ROSE CEREMONY

Nick shows up. Raven gets a rose, as we knew she would, thanks to that bombshell of a tease. We know that Rachel won’t end up being the love of Nick’s life because she’s the next Bachelorette, but she’s safe for now.

Oh, God. It’s between Vanessa and Corinne.

NOOOOOO, CORINNNEEEE, NOOOOOOO!

I’m actually yelling at my TV. I knew Corinne had to go home. I knew it, but it still hurts. She’s a young 24, whereas Raven is coming across as an older 25, even though they’re both way too young for Nick, who’s a washed-up, 36-year-old Bachelor-goer-on-er. But I digress: Back to Corinne. NOOOOOO!

#TheBachelor http://pic.twitter.com/qNzGGAVGF9

— The Bachelor (@BachelorABC) February 28, 2017

Nick walks her out, and she apologizes between sobs for ever doing anything wrong. He’s very sweet with her; he’s like, “Trust me, you didn’t.” You can tell he really cares about her, just not in a “wife” way.

Corinne’s sad limo goodbye scene is so Corinne and therefore so perfect that, despite my heartbreak over about not getting to hang out with this spectacular creature every Monday night, I feel a little bit better. She says:

“I just want to feel loved the way it’s supposed to be, like, the normal way. Like, why can’t I just have a normal relationship? I say the things that men think are appropriate and, you know what, I’m done. I’m done trying to show my men how much I love them and care for them and support them. I need that, so if someone feels that way about me, they can come and tell me, and bring a ring, too. I’m done trying to impress these men. I’m going to be me. And whatever happens happens. But I will never kiss up to a man, ever again, in my life. I want to go to sleep.”

And she closes her eyes and goes to sleep.

Corinne’s, I would argue, is the true feminist rant of the night. Or at least as close as we’re going to get.

IT’S TIME TO GO TO FINLAND, THE TROPICS OF THE NORTH

The Bachelor always ends in a tropical location, but you know what they say about Finland: “It’s the Barbados of the Arctic Circle!”

Which is ostensibly why we’re here. It’s very beautiful. There are also only three hours of daylight, which means even more time to get rip-roaring drunk in darkness.

Raven’s date starts out in a bar. They’re playing darts with locals — three jolly, round white dudes wearing fur hats who must be Santa’s cousins.

Yes, this also against the rules in Finland. #TheBachelor http://pic.twitter.com/suqXF1KOzV

— The Bachelor (@BachelorABC) February 28, 2017

To the camera, Nick says that Raven has a “Southern, sweet charm” and a “wonderful, edgy craziness,” which is the “perfect combo of salty and sweet.” He’s “falling harder and harder for her.”

I don’t love the salty-sweet analogy because I don’t think you’d ever describe a man that way, but Nick assures us he’s a feminist when he insists that he doesn’t expect a wife to cook and clean for him.

Raven is like, “That’s good, because I can’t cook.” And Nick is like, “How do you feel about laundry?” And she’s like, “I own a clothing store, I fold stuff all day.” And he’s like, “Well, I can iron.” And she’s like, “Cool, but I’m going to introduce you to a steamer and change your life,” and I’m like, “Why are we trying to one-up each other about chores?”

But, hey, at least they’re discussing the logistics of having a life together rather than just talking about how talking about their feelings went.

RAVEN’S ORGASM-LESS LIFE

Raven, to the camera, says, “I’ve only have sex with one person. I’ve never had an orgasm before. It’s really taboo to discuss, but it’s important ... maybe I hadn’t before with my last person because I really didn’t trust him. You have to trust someone to be able to go there.”

HOO, BOY, there’s a lot to unpack here.

“Being physical and emotional means double the heartbreak if it ends up not being me at the end.” –Raven #TheBachelor http://pic.twitter.com/Y2gGlhTiFm

— The Bachelor (@BachelorABC) February 28, 2017

Imagine a man saying he’d never had an orgasm at the age of 25. I’m sure those guys are out there, but they’re few and far between, because in our society, men are supposed to. And yet, for women, there’s still a lot of shame associated with sexual pleasure.

That’s garbage.

Men: BE BETTER AT SEX!

Honestly, what is your problem? Figure out how to make a woman feel good and then do it, for crying out loud.

R.I.P. Raven’s ex. You just got dunked on so hard on national TV that I’m pretty sure you’re dead now.

If Raven’s lying, and she did have good sex with her ex but is just saying this to get back at him for cheating on her with that nurse, it’s the most impressive troll job I’ve ever witnessed. I wouldn’t put it past her, given that she’s already told us she hit him over the head with a stiletto.

DINNER IN FINLAND WITH LOTS OF WINE AND TALK ABOUT FEELINGS

At dinner, Raven is mainlining red wine, and Nick’s like, “Whoah, take it easy, champ!” Except he doesn’t say that, he just gently makes her put it down.

Raven tells him she was with her ex for two years but they never said I love you, and I’m like, “Oh, my God, you had bad sex with this guy for two years?”

“I’m embracing that I’m in love with Nick and I could spend my life with him.” –Raven#TheBachelor http://pic.twitter.com/LMIMoK7reB

— The Bachelor (@BachelorABC) February 28, 2017

Raven, through tears, says that she feels really comfortable with Nick, and then she says this:

“My dad used to tell me as a little girl that he prayed I would have an easy love. From the very beginning it was easy for me to see you as a partner. It was easy for me to see you, after seeing you with Bella [his little sister they keep trotting out on this show] as being a dad. And then it was too easy, how comfortable I felt with you. And I do love you. The worst thing I could do would be not tell you that.”

I’m here for this. Love is best when it’s easy. When it doesn’t feel like something you have to carve out space for or something that saps energy from you.

I’m going to be earnest for a second and channel my inner advice columnist, something I’ve secretly always wanted to be: If a relationship is painful — if the communication is bad, if the other person can be mean, or make you feel stupid, or taken for granted, or used, or left hanging — that’s hard, difficult love. It can still be love, sure. You can really care about someone who makes you miserable.

You just don’t have to put up with them.

Because I guarantee you — I guarantee — that there’s someone else out there who will be kind to you. Someone who will enrich your life rather than making you want to pull your hair out. “Easy love” won’t always be easy, of course, but starting from a good place makes the bad times far more tolerable than starting from a place that often hurts.

Hold out for that.

*~*~OK, back to your regularly scheduled jokes~*~*

Raven is like, now that I’ve said “I love you,” can I have more wine please? And then she tells Nick she’s never had an orgasm.

We end with Nick reenacting the training montage from Rocky in the snowy, northern woods.

A FEW THOUGHTS

At least there won’t be any added pressure on Nick to make this a good sexual experience for Raven!

I bet he ends up not sleeping with her. He kind of chickens out a lot, so that would be on brand for Mr. Curveball.

I think Nick really likes Raven. I think Raven is going to win.

This was a short episode. Next week is a regular two-hour long, Finnish extravaganza, followed by “The Women Tell All,” when the ones who got kicked off get to confront Nick. So please know that if I die next Tuesday, it was The Bachelor that killed me.

Everyone’s giving Nick shit about the turtleneck sweater he wore, but I don’t really have strong opinions about it. How’s that for a lukewarm take?

[turnabouttoothbrush]

Metal Gear High, Chapter One

My older brother submitted a fic with the comment, “Thanks, AO3. Metal Gear high school AU bashing EVA”

Excuse me but what

Why would you bash EVA, she’s AMAZING

Anyway, out-of-character sporking for both chapters because there are only two (it’s apparently abandoned) and it’s quicker & easier to do. Plus I need to work on that thing for that NPO lmao.

...speaking of out-of-character, GUESS WHAT THIS IS TAGGED AS

It’s like a neon warning sign that says “Please spork me!!”

And speaking of tags, EVA’s name is misspelled as “Eve” in them.

What am I getting myself into here.

Summary: AU Metal Gear Series. Adam is the new kid in school where his Mother, Joy, has gotten a job as the new counselor. OOC abounds and established and future male/male relationships.

Also I fuckin’ hate high school AUs.

High school fucking SUCKS, it was the literal four worst years of my life - granted it was because of things largely unrelated to school itself but it sure as shit didn’t help. High school is, for anyone except those at the very top of the social ladder, a terrible experience that you pretty must just endure so you can get your diploma and never look back.

I do not understand why it is romanticized so much.

The first day of school and Adam was exactly on time. He was always on time, perhaps a few minutes early, but he was never late. It was a new high school, a new way of life, new strange subcultures and interconnected rivalries, and incestuous power plays by those who thought high school popularity was the ultimate power high.

Lol those are the people who are gonna be asking me what kind of fries I want while I roll past their window in my BMW

...wait, “incestuous power plays”?

It was a pit of despair, anxiety, hormones, pheromones, testosterone, sexual frustration, peer pressure and awkward stages for people forced into small, tightly packed rooms for almost eight hours a day.

I think we can basically guarantee, though, that we’re not going to be seeing much of the classes.

You know, now that I think about it, I’m pretty sure most high school AUs don’t have that kind of thing in them because they’re written by middle schoolers who don’t know yet that high school is a horrible, horrible place. Which is why they write high school AUs!

Although referring to high school as “a pit of despair” does make me think the author’s served their time...

Adam wouldn’t walk in those double glass doors with the large carved snake hissing down and threatening those who approached as some wide-eyed innocent fresh from middle school.

I had to re-read this sentence three times before I realized that the snake statue is over the door or something, as opposed to Ocelot (man, fuck using their ‘real’ names, get that weak shit outta here boy) carrying it in with him for some reason.

Intimidation factor?

“Apparently it’s the school’s mascot for their sports team the Metal Snakes.” Joy said, sipping her coffee.

Adam grunted in response.

They were sitting in her classic white ford mustang, both of them preparing themselves.

“Although the snake might represent a threat to the opposing team’s masculinity. A penis with fangs, or, don’t fuck with me.” Joy said.

A penis with-

F U C K I N G   H E L L

Also, I guess the fact that that really doesn’t sound like something the Boss would say kind of goes without saying.

“I see you’re just as excited as I am.”

Joy sighed. “Adam, I know the past few months have been hard…”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

Joy eyed him carefully then nodded. “Alright. Now, do you want to go in first and I’ll follow? Or should I go in first and then you?”

Adam shifted in his seat, glaring at the threatening snake.

“If you go in first, it should distract enough attention for me to get to my locker and homeroom.” He said.

Are there high schools out there that actually, like, have homerooms? Mine didn’t. Had ‘em in middle school, and there was this homeroom-esque sort of thing in the middle of the day until they changed it, but...

“Practical.” Joy said. “Alright, I’ll see you after class? Do you want me to drive you home or do you want to walk home?”

“I’ll walk.” Adam sighed.

Joy eyed him critically.

Can you believe there’s no YouTube compilation of every time the Boss looks at Ocelot like he’s disappointed her? Because that’s basically every time she looks at him in MGS3.

“As you wish.” She said. She grabbed her purse and her book satchel which contained her laptop and important documents. Before she slid out of her car, she squeezed Adam’s arm.

Adam watched as she walked towards the wide double glass doors, balancing her belongings and her coffee while some of the early students watched her with interest and when she entered the school, they started whispering amongst each other.

Side note: Can you imagine the Boss as a school counselor? It’d be a hell of a thing, wouldn’t it?

What's it going to be? Loyalty to your chosen college, or loyalty to me? Your chosen college, or your old counselor? The career goal, or your beliefs? Your duty to your school, or your personal feelings? You don't know the truth yet. But sooner or later you'll have to choose.

Adam took a deep breath, squared his shoulders, and stepped out of the car. He shouldered his backpack, pulled on his red scarf and locked the door, heading towards the schools double doors.

The group of whispering students paused when he passed them. He opened the glass doors and entered just as the girls of the group started to whisper about him.

Hey author does the word “cliché” mean anything to you

I want the twist to be that no one’s even talking about him, because truly no one gives a fuck about ~the new kid~ except for the people who just highkey wanna make more friends. But I think we all know that, even if this fic had been completed, there wouldn’t have been a twist at all.

He made a bee line for the office, where he saw his mother chatting with the receptionist.

Joy glanced at him and nodded, leaving the office without a single word and the receptionist, a perky woman in her late thirties smiled, pushing him a printout sheet.

“Your home room is in the music room, leave the office and take the first right and it’s the fifth floor on your left.

wait what

how tall is this building

Your locker combo is here,” she pointed to a three double digit code. “And your schedule is at the bottom. School ID day is in a week, but until then you can download your schedule off the schools website using your mom’s password and ID. And if you’re late for a class, don’t worry. The teachers have been notified and you’re given a week to figure everything out.”

How far is this into the schoolyear, anyway? With a different character I would have guessed the end of the first semester/beginning of the second semester, since a mention of a scarf would indicate the winter months, but this is Ocelot we’re talking about...

“Thanks,” Adam mumbled, trailing his fingers across the sheet.

“I hope you enjoy Patriots High.” She called as Adam left the office.

...

THAT’S FUCKING AWFUL

He was examining his class list, mentally ticking off the classes. Three different types of advanced maths, geography, the mandatory second language course, and science. He wrinkled his nose. He knew what this was. These courses would leave him drowning in homework and focused to the point of ignoring the world around him. It would keep him occupied and busy and leave no time for getting distracted or…

Backstabbing people?

Also who the hell takes three different math classes in one year

His heart sank and he felt that grip around his neck tighten.

Adam loosened his scarf, swallowing roughly.

He couldn’t do that here, not now.

...?

Yes?

Not with the rising crowd of murmuring and voices and the increasing noises of more students arriving on the morning buses.

He followed the instructions, turning at the first right and approaching the music room door when a loud crash of drums came from the other side. He opened the door just in time to see a nerdy, skinny looking teen around Adam’s age with shaggy hair and glasses struggling to stand amongst a collapsed drum set.

Adam checked the room; there was nobody in the room except for the nerdy kid. There was a circle of chairs in the middle of the room facing one another.

Um... why...??

Just then, the kid collapsed again with a yelp, this time behind a collapsed set of music stands and Adam sighed, entering the room. He flung his backpack into one of the corners and went to the nerdy kid, helping him to stand.

“You okay?” Adam asked.

The nerdy kid was brushing his hoodie, frowning as he pecked at a piece of fabric from the middle of the ironed on image of an anime girl with big pigtails riding a giant two legged tank.

Well I guess Ocelot doesn’t have to be worried about being judged now, not when this walking bully bait exists

Also if y’all were expecting me to ask who the living blue fuck would wear a hoodie like that to school, just lemme remind you that I ran an animé club when I was in high school. I’ve seen some shit.

He glanced up at Adam, his eyes widening before he pushed up his glasses.

“You-you’re talking to me?” The nerd asked.

“Yeah,” Adam said slowly, starting to scowl.

“O-oh! You must be new! My name is Hal. Hal Emmerich, but my friends call me Otacon. Well, at least my online friends call me Otacon.” Hal said, tilting his head.

I take it this fic is going to HARDCORE miss the opportunity to actually explore the implications of the Boss also being, in a kinda sorta really weird way, Otacon’s mom. There isn’t much to say about it wrt to canon, due to the extremely limited (potential, off-screen) interaction between Ocelot and Otacon, so the one upside to a silly “EVERYONE IS THE SAME AGE” AU is that it actually does give you the chance to do that. But of course the author is going to just piss that away because it’ll distract from the hot yaois and the EVA-bashing.

“I’m Adam. I’m, ah, I’m new here.”

“Well, Adam, let me just warn you: you don’t want to be caught talking to me. I’m the school pariah so,

I will ask what kind of tiny-ass backwards school this must be to have a weeb be a friendless pariah - the pariah, too, like there’s only one. At my high school, all the outcasts and social fuckups were actually their own social stratum - granted, way at the bottom, but nonetheless they had their circle. (I should know, they all knew me and mostly deferred to me as well, haha. I... have been referred to as “Nerd Voldemort” before, after a comment about the animé club being my ‘inner circle’...)

Then again, I went to the largest high school in the state, and the 65th largest public high school in the country. So...

if you don’t want your popularity to die a slow and painful death, you’d best keep away.” Hal laughed, rubbing the back of his head.

Adam scowled.

“I don’t give a fuck what people think.”

Hal paused then smiled wearily.

“You will if the Snakes take an interest in you.” Hal said.

Adam rolled his eyes and left Hal, grabbing his backpack and took one of the chairs.

Snakes. Great, gangs.

Do they have gangs at small high schools? They sure do at big ones, but again - a large high school would develop a social structure that even a dude with an animé hoodie could easily find his place in.

Adam pulled out his phone, flicking through to see if there were any new messages.

“Um…”

Adam glanced up. Hal was standing next to him, looking nervous.

“Spit it out.” Adam sighed.

“Can I sit next to you?” Hal asked.

A simple request.

Adam nodded.

I scrolled back up to check and make sure that Ocelot/Otacon wasn’t a listed pairing for this. It isn’t.

I’m kind of disappointed.

I just think they’d have an interesting dynamic together, really I’d 100% take something non-shippy, but either way the only fics I’ve read that had any significant interaction between the two were fucking Choke and another fic that was also really really really friggin stupid and did the exact same thing with them.

Hal grinned, practically beaming as he took the seat. “Thanks. Hey, um, if there’s anything you want to know about the school, or any of the students, or teachers, or the clicks and gangs, I’m your person.”

Adam bit his inner cheek.

‘Be patient. Don’t explode. Some of them are just innocent, Adam. You know that.’ Joy’s voice resonated in his head.

I really hope this is/was leading up to a school shooting subplot.

“Thanks.” Adam said.

Hal smiled and leaned back in his own chair and pulled out his phone from his hoodie’s pocket. It too was covered in a picture of an anime character.

“Ummm…”

“What?”

“Could I add your number?” Hal asked, his voice small.

Adam thought about it for a few moments then shrugged. If Hal got to be too annoying or he got fed up he could just block him. He told Adam his number and as soon as he did that, Adam immediately got a text from Otacon.

Adam wrinkled his nose and he didn’t bother to respond.

You could almost say he was being... catty

They sat in silence as the minutes passed until the door opened and several people poured into the room and Adam’s phone started vibrating like crazy.

‘Look out!’

Adam blinked at his phone, confused, and opened his mouth to ask what Hal meant when two hands gripped his shoulders from behind.

“You must be the new guy.”

Adam clenched his jaw, and looked up.

Smiling down at him was a blond male wearing aviator glasses and military fatigues.

Who the living blue fuck would wear military fatigues to school?

“Fresh meat,” He purred and Adam felt his lips curling in disgust.

“Back off, Kaz.” A gravelled voice next to him and Kaz let go of Adam’s shoulders, instead ruffling Hal’s hair until Hal sputtered, waving at his hands.

Adam turned to the voice and a man, no, a teenager met Adam’s. He was starting to sport a serious beard and his hair was messy. Adam could barely grow peach fuzz and here was someone just a month short of an Amish beard. His clothes were rumpled too, like he had slept in them, he smelled faintly of cigar smoke, and he had a torn bandanna wrapped around his forehead, keeping his hair out of his eyes.

But his eyes, he had two brilliant blue eyes.

GEE I WONDER

WHAT

THE MAIN PAIRING FOR THIS FIC COULD POSSIBLY BE HMM I DUNNO

Then again, if Ocelot didn’t get the doki-dokis immediately upon seeing Snake, I would say that’d be out-of-character.

“John.” He rumbled again.

“Adam.”

John nodded, his eyes taking in Adam’s scarf. He looked like he was about to say something when a blur of giggling blonde landed on his lap.

“John you left me behind this morning!” The giggling blonde said, cupping his jaw and leaning close.

“Sorry, Eve.”

EVA. It’s EVA. E-V-A, with an “a”. Get it right. It’s not like “Eva” isn’t an actual name, anyway.

You really shouldn’t be writing fanfic if you spell a three-letter name wrong - let alone if the character in question is KIND OF FREAKIN’ IMPORTANT TO THE SOURCE MATERIAL.

John rumbled, his eyes sparkling as Eve smiled coltishly. She was wearing skinny jeans and a sweater maybe one size too small. John wrapped his arms around her waist, holding onto her as she bounced on his thigh.

“Get a room,” Another gravelled voice, softer, and Adam glanced past the giggling blond to see what had to be John’s twin brother. Wild hair, blue eyes, and in desperate need of a shave. His clothes were a bit less rumpled like he had put some effort into his appearance before giving up. He had a similar bandana except his wasn’t shredded at the ends.

“Aww, baby brother needs to get laid.”

>making Solid BB’s brother

Kaz laughed, sitting in the chair next to him.

“Fuck off Kaz!” John’s twin snapped.

“Dave, be good.” John scolded.

“Yeah, Dave.” Eve mocked.

That’s his mom

Dave’s jaw clenched and he opened his mouth when his phone chimed in his pocket. He pulled it out, turning his back to the others as he started to slowly text back.

The bell rang.

Adam looked around the room.

Still no teacher.

Dave was slowly texting, the tip of his tongue peeking out of the corner of his mouth as he concentrated. Kaz was straightening his military fatigues (honestly who wears shit like that to school anyway?),

Hey, whose job is it to ask those kinds of questions here?!

Eve was nuzzling into John’s neck, giggling softly, and John had his head tipped back, smiling. And Hal?

Adam glanced over at Hal. His foot was twitching and he was chewing on his bottom lip. He looked concerned, his thumbs dancing across this phones screen.

Golly I wonder who he could be texting

It’s not like Solicon is tagged as one of the ships or anything

Adam frowned as he took in the music room.

Where the hell was the teacher?

The door to the room slowly creaked open and an old, old, incredibly old man slowly entered. He was hunched over, bald, and looked like he was sleeping.

“Morning Students,” The old man mumbled as he crept towards the chair facing their group.

“Good morning Mr. Ender.”

...

...

...

....

It’s a couple years too late for a Minecraft joke, isn’t it...?

Hal chirped, tucking his phone into his hoodie pocket.

Kaz straightened his back, watching the old man critically. Dave pocketed his phone, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees, propping his chin on his hand. John gently eased Eve away from his face, shushing her even as she rubbed her nose against his.

“Morning Hal.” Mr. Ender said, standing at the chair and slowly easing himself into it. He sighed when he finally sat down. He examined the small group and then turned his focus on Adam.

“You must be the new student, Adamska?”

“Adamska?” Eve asked. “What kind of name is Adamska?” She mocked.

“Russian, if I’m not wrong?” Mr. Ender asked.

Adam nodded.

“Do. You. Speak. English?” Eve asked loudly.

Kaz chuckled.

On the plus side, I’m always down for Kaz being a dick to Ocelot. (I ship it...)

Adam clenched his hands, ignoring her.

“Now, now, Eve. Be nice.” Mr. Ender chided. “If it hasn’t already been said, let me welcome you to Patriot’s High. Even though we’re a small high school,

EVIDENCE THAT I AM PSYCHIC CONTINUES TO PILE UP

Or the author actually wrote a ‘small school’ atmosphere semi-competently. At the very least, I was able to identify it as not working the way a large high school would.

we hope you feel at home here. I want you to think of this group as a safe group, a group of friends and family so if you have any difficulties you can turn to your fellow students if you need help. Now, why don’t you start off by telling us a little about yourself?”

“Like what?” Adam cleared his throat.

“Oh I don’t know, where were you going to school before you came here?” Mr. Ender said.

Suddenly everybody was staring at Adam.

He could feel that prickling sensation on the back of his neck and he tugged on his red scarf.

Please tell me he’s, like, a werecat or something and that’s what all these lines are about. Please? It’d make this more interesting.

“New York. It was a high school for the gifted.” Adam explained quietly.

“Well that explains everything.” Kaz said, shaking his head sadly. “We’ve got another gifted student.”

“It was Arsenal Academy,

just fuck me up

thank you very much.” Adam snapped.

“You went to Arsenal Academy!” Hal gasped. “That is the top technical school in the country! You have to be amazing to get in there! Why did you leave?”

Adam sat back in his chair and squared his jaw.

He didn’t catch John’s side glance as Mr. Ender coughed then cleared his throat.

“Well, I’m sure you’ll enjoy your time here.”

Hopefully more than me.

He said as the bell rang overhead. “Now if you have any questions, just let me know and I’ll see what I can do to help.”

“Thanks,” Adam said as Dave, John, Eve and Kaz all rose and let the room. He grabbed his backpack and got up as students started filling the room,

Come to think of it, why is the End a music teacher, anyway? What kind of thought went into this? Generously assuming that any did...

Hal trailing behind him.

“Hey…”

“What?” Adam asked.

“Do you know where you’re going?” Hal asked.

Adam paused and then he dug out his course schedule. He literally had no idea where he was supposed to go. Hal peered over his shoulder and made a happy sound in his throat.

“We’re in the same math classes!”

Adam sighed.

“Lead the way.” He motioned to the increasing tide of students.

That’s basically the end of the first chapter. As far as a first chapter goes, it was alright. Introduced our setting and our main players. Really, some more should have happened, but considering it was short, I’ll let it slide.

Main problem is the fact that it’s a fuckin’ #Slow Build #Male/Male #Male Slash #All the fucking drama high school AU, with, so far as we can tell at this point, no actual interesting plot (or at least subplot!) to carry it.

Shit’s boring, guys. Why do people write these?

To Be Continued...