#the most interesting part of the show to me by far is dean's character

[ishouldreallybeelsewhere]

Episode one of Supernatural is so flawed that, had I watched it for the first time last night (instead of for the third), I would not have have watched the second. Ever. The flaws are things I simply didn't pick up on when I was thirteen, and memory glazed over with emotional attachment. I understand why these flaws are there, what the writers tried and failed to do through clumsy dialogue and strange character decisions. There's no subtlety. Everything Sam says is direct exposition, specifically the things that he would not have to say to his brother.

I do not do reviews so that's all I'm going to say.

[scoobydoodean]

it is interesting to me that sam is judgmental about dean’s eating habits, but, from what I remember, he’s fairly non-judgmental about his drinking habits in comparison. while sam goes through phases of wanting to eat “cleaner” he never wants to give up alcohol. do you think this indicates that sam is also pretty dependent on alcohol himself but less “showy” about this than dean who jokes about needing alcohol more often? or is it more that he knows it comes off as insanely hypocritical bc of his demon blood addiction where he went off the rails while dean is still functional even during periods of heavy drinking?

(Does Dean joke around about needing alcohol that often?)

Interesting question. I don't think hypocrisy has ever stopped a character in Supernatural from saying anything tbh. But I also don't think Sam sees anything wrong with the way Dean drinks most of the time. This is a man who tried to give Dean beer for breakfast when he was suicidal (13.05). And I think the reason he was offering Dean breakfast beer is also pretty key to understanding why Sam, for the most part, shuts the fuck up about Dean drinking: He isn't actually good at dealing with Dean not being okay. It scares him. I'll come back to that in a minute.

I think fanon sometimes makes more of Dean's relationship with alcohol than it is. I'm not saying there aren't points in the show where Dean is very obviously shown to have an alcohol problem. I'm not saying his relationship with alcohol is normal (though his relationship with alcohol is pretty normal prior to him going to hell). I am saying I think a chunk of fandom tends to think of Dean as someone who is more or less constantly buzzed for most of the series, and that's just not accurate. After hell, Dean begins drinking to fall asleep. He is binge drinking a significant amount before bed by mid season 5 after the Harvelle's deaths (5.11, 5.16). But it is to fall asleep and it cuts back to a glass or two a night by the beginning of season 6 after a hard fought struggle we get small references to between Dean and Lisa (6.01, 6.06). Dean would be dead on a hunt within a month if he was constantly day drinking, and the show notes to us specifically when Dean is so out of sorts he feels the need to do that (see: 6.06, where Dean drinks just to be able to stand being near Sam, after being assaulted the previous episode while Sam watched and smiled). A glass of whiskey or two before bed becomes Dean's new normal from season 6 onwards. When his drinking ticks up from that in one season or episode to another, there's a deeper problem going on that Dean is struggling through. I only mention this because when I actually think of points where Sam might say something to Dean about an uptick in drinking... it's not going to happen as often as fandom sometimes imagines.

Sam understands Dean's options as far as dealing with nightmares from decades of reality-bending torture are highly limited. Realistically, Dean has zero access to qualified professional support. Suppose Dean took sleeping pills instead of drinking to fall asleep. Would he actually be better off? Would he eventually abuse sleeping pills instead? Would that just put something in close proximity to him that he could even more easily overdose on? Because... Dean also isn't a stranger to suicidal ideation, and Sam is very aware of that, and I wager he gets a hell of a lot more antsy about the thought of Dean having constant access to sleeping pills than he does about Dean drinking a glass of whiskey or two before bed. In the fucked up world they live in, as far as Sam's concerned, Dean's relationship with alcohol is usually "under control" in a relative sense. I think Sam understands Dean's use of alcohol and he accepts it... and he isn't going to get judgy, because Sam isn't good at actually handling Dean not being okay. Dean not being able to cope scares Sam however he might pretend to play Mr. Therapist (see my tag: #bad therapist sam).

If Dean chooses to cope with nightmares and sleep disturbances using alcohol while still being functional during the day, Sam isn't going to say a word. When Dean's drinking gets bad, for example, in season 7 when Dean constantly carries around Bobby's flask, I seem to recollect Sam speaking up about it at least once—at least in vague terms? But we'll see when I get back into season 7. (All I remember right now is him joking that alcohol is a "vitamin" for Dean in 7.18). I really do think in general, as far as Sam as concerned, as long as Dean's drinking doesn't effect his job performance... it's all good. He generally isn't going to touch it with a ten foot pole—not even to joke.

It is true at the same time that Dean's relationship with food also is and continues to further develop into a coping mechanism. Dean eats when he's grieving or sad and when he wants comfort. Food makes Dean feel safe. However, Dean also eats when he's happy, and Sam's judgments when it comes to Dean's eating usually happen when Dean is happy eating instead of sad eating (or when Sam at least perceives him to be happy eating).

I think the specific connection between Dean's drinking and hell may also play a role here. Sam failed Dean deeply on the hell front and I think he knows it. I won't even mince words: it is Sam's fault that Dean never talks about hell. Dean was opening up between 4.08 and 4.11, but because of Sam's cruel turn in his framing of that traumatic experience, Dean's hell trauma is forever the silent looming thing that no one talks about. Not Sam, not Dean, not anybody. Getting judgy about Dean drinking to fall asleep could easily open cracks in Dean's own self-imposed wall and Sam is smart enough not to scratch at it. Not just for Dean's sake, but for his own, because that betrayal intersects deeply with Dean's broken trust in Sam in season 5, and if there is one thing Sam's ego absolutely cannot take, it's reminders of moments where he proved Dean could not trust him.

[lol-jackles]

Since you’re in casting, I’d love to pick your brain a little about selecting actors. I love that Jared is a constantly rising star, but in the most loving way possible, he really isn’t the best actor. 80% of the time when I’m watching him, it feels like I’m watching someone acting. He’s not the most natural Versus someone whose performance I get lost in. That doesn’t mean I’m not going to watch everything he does, and it kind of seems standard for cable network TV (for example, I feel the same ways about Nathan Fillion, David Boreanaz, Matthew Daddario - but it doesn’t make me like them any less). Honestly, the only network TV show they didn’t make me feel that was is Hannibal, and even that was only the leading actors.

I would have assumed that acting ability would be the most important part, but your page has made me realize it’s more than that, and let’s be honest, Vampire Diaries wouldn’t haven’t gotten that far if acting was the most important skill set needed. I’m guessing for the Jared’s and David’s their entire history counts most, but what about for someone just getting hired - the Jared getting the Gilmore Girl’s role or the David getting the Angel role. If they’re acting seems…stiff (wrong word?) what makes a casting director say, ‘you know what, let’s give it to them anyway.’

It’s just such a hard world to break into and I’m guessing there are auditions from people with a little more natural talent, so what makes that final decision?

(Asking as someone who is about to start the audition process)

I think what Jared (and Nathan, David, etc) has doing for him is he acts from his authentic truth. I'll expand on it later in this post. With that said, Jared is a character actor trapped in a leading man role, it's why he's not the "best actor" because people tend to believe that good character actors disappear into their roles by diminishing their screen presence, which you can't do when you're a leading man. You may be picking up on this conflicting issue. Think of Brad Pitt who works best as a supporting actor (X), and struggles a bit as a leading man so he has to throw out nuances and reply more on his raw charisma.

I haven't seen Gilmore Girls but I read Jared was the 2nd or 3rd Dean. Dean was recast because the OG Deans' chemistry with Rory wasn't up to snuff. So that answer your "final decision" question, which is chemistry. David Boreanaz had good chemistry with Sarah Michelle Geller. His chemistry Emily Deschanel in Bones was fine, bordering on good, but it was more fun/odd couple vibe whereas his interaction with Michelle had depth. Whenever Jared and Jensen tell their chemistry audition story in front of the producers, I'm pretty sure they're leaving out that Jared likely had chemistry auditions with other various Dean actors.

My advice on auditions is walk into that room like you’re going to solve their problem. 

Most casting directors talk about wanting auditioning actors to "make bold choices" because they believe it will get in touch with their authentic self and therefore, make them a captivating performer. My advice is adjust the text to your authentic emotion so that you're reacting to the events of the story from your internal truth. It doesn’t matter if the story is a sci-fi, comedy, or a period piece drama: if we don’t believe the actors, we won’t care what happens to them in the story. The audience is an incredible lie-detector: the average person has, for their entire life, been storing countless passive data on how normal people react to various situations, so you can’t fool them.  

My CD used to say that it's easier to tell the truth on camera than it is to lie because once you believe in yourself, then you're not acting anymore. I don't 100% agree with her but that seems to be what most CDs think.

The more confidently you use yourself as a canvas and let the context of the scene speak through your own emotional repertoire and point of view, the more compelling and interesting you are to watch. The most interesting or captivating actor is the one whose next movement, facial expression, or line reading is unpredictable. That's the difference between Jeff Bridges (unpredictable) and Beu Bridges (reliable).

[johaerys-writes]

Hi! I’m pretty new to the world of Achilles and Patroclus (I read The Song Of Achilles last month) and I just saw your post about your love for them. When you said “there's just so much stuff out there about them (tsoa, hades game, the iliad, a bunch of other myths and adaptations, non fiction books, academic papers etc)” I was wondering if you could touch on the other myths and adaptations part maybe? I’m not exactly sure where to begin there but I would appreciate any guidance you could give!

Oh boy I don't know where to start either because there's a LOT. I don't want to overwhelm you so I'll just list a few key myths and adaptations off the top of my head:

Adaptations

So as far as adaptations go, I will include works where both Achilles and Patroclus show up and that are inspired by the Iliad.

Hades Game: I'm pretty sure you're already familiar with this, just mentioning it just in case!

Aristos the musical: it's a musical as the name suggests, and it revolves around Achilles and Patroclus' lives from Pelion all the way to Troy. It's really lovely and has made me emotional on numerous occasions and I love revisiting it every so often! It also has a Tumblr account: @aristosmusical

Troilus and Cressida: this is Shakespeare's take on the Trojan War and it's quite interesting, not really faithful to the Iliad but offers a sort of different perspective on the characters and the events that led to Hector's death.

Achilles (1995) by Barry JC Purves: it's a short stop motion film using clay puppets, it's on Youtube and it's only 11 mins and I think it's worth a watch! I find it very compelling visually and any adaptation where Achilles and Patroclus are lovers is a plus in my book 🫶

Holding Achilles: this is an Australian stage production by the Dead Puppet Society, I really enjoyed it and I found it an interesting blend of TSOA and Iliad Patrochilles, which also featured some cool new elements that I hadn't really seen before. It used to be free to watch for a while but now I think you have to pay to watch it, there's more info on their website.

The Silence of the Girls: a novel by Pat Barker, it's a take on the events of the Iliad mostly through Briseis' eyes, I personally didn't really like the book or the characterisations but hey both Achilles and Patroclus are in it so it might be worth a read.

There are some other novels I've heard of where Achilles and Patroclus appear (A Thousand Ships by Natalie Haynes, Wrath Goddess Sing by Maya Deane) and also a TV show called Troy: Fall of a City but I haven't read/watched them so I can't really rec them

Myths

Most myths revolve around Achilles, there aren't that many with Patroclus I'm afraid, but here are some of my favourites:

Achilleid by Publius Papinius Statius: this is an epic poem about Achilles' stay on Skyros disguised as a girl and his involvement with Deidameia. It's interesting but I'd personally take the characterisations and events in it with a grain of salt because Romans were notorious for their unsympathetic portrayal of Greek Homeric heroes but it's still a cool thing that's out there and free to read online.

Iphigenia at Aulis: a tragedy by the ancient Greek playwright Euripides, it's basically the dramatised version of the myth of Iphigenia's sacrifice in Aulis which predates the Iliad, there are many obscure versions of this myth but Euripides' sort of updated version is my favourite, I will never shut up about this play!! Lots of a nuance and very interesting portrayals of Achilles, Agamemnon, Menelaus, Clytemnestra, Iphigenia and pretty much everyone in there, well worth a read.

Lost plays: there are several plays in which Achilles appears but that have been lost or survive only in fragments, but two of my favourites are Euripides' Telephus and Aeschylus' Myrmidons. Telephus takes place before the Trojan War, while the Greeks are on their way to Troy. I really like Achilles' characterisation in the fragments that remain and also the fact that he was already renowned for his knowledge of medicine and healing despite how young he was. The fragments that survive from Aeschylus' Myrmidons I think are fewer but the play was extremely popular at the time it was presented to the public and it sparked a lot of controversy re: Achilles and Patroclus' relationship and who tops/bottoms so I think that's kind of funny lol.

There are lots of other obscure little myths about Achilles that I've picked up by reading various books, papers and wiki posts on the matter and that are just too numerous to list here, but what I will mention and that I think concludes the myths section of this post pretty neatly is that the Iliad and the Odyssey are not the only works about the Trojan War that were written, merely the only works that survived. The rest of the books in the Epic Cycle have been preserved either in fragmentary form or in descriptions in other works, and I think the Epic Cycle wiki page is a good place to start if you want to get an idea of what each of those books contained.

I hope this helped! 💙

[monstermoviedean]

it's honestly beyond wild how easily dean lets cas off for some pretty irredeemable, unforgiveable stuff with no understanding or even acknowledgement on cas' part of the kind of incredible actual-no-strings gift he's been given (and thrown away, rinse, repeat). i can appreciate the take that it just goes to show how deeply braindead in love dean is (and i might still be able to find the romance in it if there was ever any kind of equal or at least comparable weight on cas' end) but he can do (and has done) (and deserves) so much better! rip!! on a list of all dean's boyfriends ranked in order of how well they treated him cas would come in dead last.. can't even rate him over the ones that tried to kill dean because uh cas has not only done that too but also done that more than most (without even factoring in the mind control) lol wanky maybe but that doesn't make it untrue womp womp

anyway the trap effectively killed many of my charitable feelings for cas and despair took care of much of the rest. i know you're not there yet and still manage some warmth for cas besides (plus my post s15 cas/destiel opinions probably trend significantly more harshly than even the rare and wonderful few who have been openly critical of both that aren't br*nly/c*sties, i can acknowledge that lol) but after the trap and knowing what's still to come, it's very difficult for me to see cas-as-dean's-endgame being a positive thing for dean. that may be what he wants but like please for the love @ him: want better!!! i mean, s6 was tough but also so crunchy and opened the door for a world of (tragically unrealized) possibilities. the shadow that s15 and everything leading up to it casts over all of that is just.. so so long. there's been so many opportunities for cas to be better and he just. wastes them.

i'm so interested to see what your takeaway from despair is because it left me feeling kind of hollow on destiel and deeply skeptical of cas when stacked up against everything else. cas may be in love with his idea of dean but he's proven over and over again that he's either incapable of or unwilling to be and see dean as an equal, loving partner. idk if it's a fault in the writing (feels like a cop out to pin things on that though, especially when cas is actually written fairly consistently compared to most other characters) or just that mc isn't as dynamic/effective an actor as jackles but i find myself less and less convinced of cas' sincerity as time goes on. he's wildly selfish. i think it's far easier to make the argument in canon that everything he's done, including that confession, has been far more selfishly motivated than motivated by any genuine love or care for dean (or jack for that matter). maybe an uncharitable assessment, but not an unfounded one.

what dean says about angel's caring and cas playing sorry in 7x21 and cas insisting he's "a lot like people" to rowena's (very apt) assessment of him in 10x22 are always top of my mind when i try to make sense of cas in the aftermath. he's not sorry, he's playing sorry. he's not people, he's performing people. angels don't have souls and i'm not sure i really buy grace as a substitute but, even if i did, cas' has been waning for a very long time (which i wish had been explored more considering all of the weight the canon puts on having a soul). cas isn't that far removed from donatello who, in his soullessness, turned to mr rogers for behavioral cues. cas holds dean in that role, he's just not especially good at emulating him. or maybe just doesn't understand what it is he should be emulating. all of that to say that i really, truly believe cas wants to feel people feelings (feelings is dean as people is dean as humanity is dean etc etc etc), i'm just not sure if i buy that it's ever more than performance for him.

like fanfic is great, i love fanfic! post s15 fix-its moving further and further away from the "dean pulls his head out of his ass" model is such a gift!! but in actual canon?? ough. cas' very long, very well established patterns make canon destiel a super hard sell for me in a post s15 world. there's no reason to believe that things would ever change because, to the bitter end(?), they never did.

anyway anyway, i'm sorry for using your inbox as a rantbox and i fully understand if you ignore this, i know parts of it might be kind of a powder keg lol it's hard to not be cynical and frustrated by so much squandered potential i suppose, especially when so much of the fandom popular opinions on these things have been just so. bad and wrong. for so long. it's been a relief to see some of those tides turning as more people revisit the source material, though! please just know that i really have enjoyed following along on your rewatch and appreciate how much thought and care you put into understanding this show and these characters. i'm looking forward to seeing where what's left of the journey takes you!

there are some points here i agree with and some i don't, but i can entirely see where you're coming from. i just want to extend some love to you because yeah, sometimes this story is really incredibly frustratingly sad and bleak. also no need to apologize, i love inbox rants <3

i'm publishing this because i think there are a lot of interesting points of discussion about cas and his relationship with dean. blanket statement for anyone who might read it: i am not interested in cas-bashing or anon-bashing. don't do that here. or anywhere, frankly.

to start off: it IS beyond wild that dean lets cas off for some things. breaking sam's wall is the first example that comes to mind. i mean wow, good for dean for being the bigger person and forgiving there, but holy shit.

i'm gonna politely disagree with you on cas treating dean badly. i do see where you're coming from! this is something i've talked about before re: cas actually - that sometimes the way dean treats cas is viewed as poor treatment, but in actuality cas doesn't receive it that way at all. so cas' tendency to put the mission first, for example, is something that dean GETS. dean doesn't feel like cas is neglecting him by doing this. i think there are also circumstances in which cas' actions are understandable, even if i don't like them. and a lot of the "constant apocalypse" problems lead to responses that don't have a real-world equivalent. all that being said, i think one thing cas could fix/address is answering his phone when dean calls him.

on dean doing better - i think people in dean's life could and should treat him better. i also think he loves and cares about those people and would not trade them out, and i respect that.

on cas being better - mixed feelings on this. i totally understand where you're coming from and don't want to invalidate you here or at any point! i think cas is trying to be better. i think he's locked into a pattern where he only sees one option for being better - fixing things / getting wins / sacrificing himself / otherwise protecting dean and sparing dean harm. i feel for him there, i really do. smarter people than me have pointed to heaven brainwashing/upbringing as the reason this pattern exists. so i don't expect him to break out of that pattern, but i do think it's reasonable to wish he had come to recognize that this DOES harm dean. i think cas often believes he knows how dean feels. sometimes he's right, sometimes he's wrong. and in this case while dean can understand why cas is doing what he's doing and respect his decisions enough to not put up a fight about them, it does hurt dean to watch cas walk away into certain danger over and over. it especially hurts when dean has no power in the situation and is left with nothing to do but to hope cas comes back.

so i have actually seen 15x18 and have some feelings about it but i don't want to comment until i see it again. i know i missed a ton of context the first time i watched it (november 6 2020 after not having watched the show in a few years), and i'm interested to see how my interpretation changes!

one opinion i have that i don't think will change: i believe cas' pattern of keeping secrets to protect dean, then having those secrets blow up, causing dean pain and/or causing cas to leave, is not disrupted. i believe 15x18 reinforces this pattern, in fact. and i do not like that. i do appreciate that cas did it for love and he was backed into a horrible corner, and at the same time, from dean's perspective, it's another example of cas leaving.

on cas not seeing dean as an equal partner. hoooo boy, this one gave me pause. i am very conflicted about this, to be honest. i think cas THINKS he sees dean as an equal partner, but i'm not sure he actually does. i'm also not sure he treats him like one. consistently, at least. i think they're equals when they're dealing with "ordinary" problems (monsters, people), but when the problems are angel-level or higher, i think cas thinks he has more ability to solve those problems than dean does. sometimes he's right (cas should be the one talking to michael in 15x08, for example). but not always. and i could see that coming across as patronizing. i want to think more about this one!

on cas' selfishness. this is tough because i think cas is trying to be selfless in a way that comes across as selfish. he wants to be the hero. he believes he can be the hero. he wants to spare others from being the hero. and while that's usually well-intentioned (taking on burdens so others don't have to), it can read as "no one else is capable of this but me." and i think the major problem is that cas looks at things from a 30,000-foot level. he is often less concerned with the ground-level impacts. so when he's, idk, saying yes to lucifer, he's thinking "someone has to and it may as well be me" but he's not thinking "oh shit dean is going to have to watch lucifer parade me around and then kill me." while i understand his reasoning in these high-stakes no-win situations and i'm not mad about it, i do wish he would consider the impacts of his small decisions on others more often. sorry to bring up the phone thing again but it's the best example i've got - it would be nice if cas made it more of a priority to answer his phone when dean calls because it's important to dean, even if it isn't important to cas. it will help dean feel more secure and they will have a nice conversation because they enjoy talking to each other. we have hints of this kind of thing happening but i would like to see it more clearly and consistently. or like. icing sam out during the rupture was pretty shitty. he could have at least texted back. (yes he was in a bad spot, no he doesn't have to respond to sam all the time, but a little 'i'm not dead' text would have made a big difference)

i think "uncharitable but not unfounded" is very understandable. i, personally, believe cas loves and cares about dean. i also could come up with some examples of cas' actions that, regardless of intent, communicate to dean that this is not true. i think if you want to make a case that cas doesn't care, you can. i wouldn't agree with it, and i think there's a better case that cas does care, but i do recognize that the show itself leaves that door open. and it does bother me. i would feel better if cas showed more consistent and obvious care for dean TO dean.

i think cas does confuse/equate feeling guilty with feeling sorry. i think he does both, but sometimes he is playing sorry. i think his defense of jack at the end of s14 contradicts his claims of being sorry, for example. but i'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he is actually sorry most of the other times.

on cas' feelings - i see where you're coming from, and i disagree here. i think cas does have feelings, even if he doesn't always know what they are or how to process them. someone (i think ilarual?) made a cool post about cas growing a soul that i thought was a neat idea. but i can certainly sympathize with wanting the show to do more with angels, grace, angel feelings, etc.

i do believe cas is sincere in his care and in wanting to do better, and that's one reason i have faith in dean and cas being able to work it out and be good for each other! i think that's a major difference between our perspectives. and i don't have an answer here, because again, i see where you're coming from. if you're open to it, i might suggest considering cas' actions from a perspective that he's 100% sincere 100% of the time. it might be interesting to try, even if it doesn't change your opinions at all (and you definitely don't have to try it or change your opinions).

one million billion trillion percent agree on squandered potential. there are so many problems we've discussed here that i think could be fixed with attention and goodwill. but will they be fixed? sigh. i don't know. i like to believe so, but cynicism is also a fair response. i think a lot of my feelings come down to this question: if the show had continued, would 15x18 have been a turning point? would it have finally allowed dean and cas to change their relationship? or would it have set it in stone, never to be changed again? i think it's a matter of interpretation. i tend toward the former - that 15x18 would have changed everything and allowed them space to finally get it right - but i can also see why the latter works, especially because the show ending DID set it in stone that way.

it HAS been a relief to see shifts in conversation, and i hope they continue. and thank you so so much for your very kind words! they are not necessary but they are appreciated :) i often feel like i'm just fumbling around in the dark compared to a lot of others, and it's nice to hear i haven't completely mucked it up. also i really enjoyed answering this, so thanks for giving me so much to chew on!

[this-is-a-love-story-isnt-it]

When I told one of my friends that I’ve been watching Lois and Clark, he told me I should check out “Superman and Lois”, which is the most recent live action Superman show. I’m not into Superman stuff usually. Lois and Clark is different because Superman plays such a small part most of the time. The show first and foremost is about Lois and Clark and their love story. superman is secondary. Obviously the show is also about Clark being Superman and there are some episodes that are completely centered on Superman. But in general Superman takes a back seat and Clark is in the front seat.

When Smallville was on, I think I might have watched one season (or less) and didn’t like it enough to continue. I was surprised to find out that it ended up being on for 10 years.

So anyway, I decided to check out “Superman and Lois” on my friend’s recommendation. It started in 2021 and season 4 is coming out soon. Anyway, I’ve watched 5 episodes so far and it’s pretty “meh”. It’s too cinematic and it takes itself too seriously, imo. That version of Lois is VERY different from the Lois and Clark: TNAOS version. She’s too chill and serious. Clark/Superman is similar in that he’s what they’ve referred to Clark as in other superman media- “mild mannered”. But honestly the Superman and Lois version of Lois and Clark are kinda boring lmao. And the actors have zero chemistry. I muuuuuuch prefer Teri Hatcher’s Lois and Dean Cain’s Clark/Superman. Both of those characters are so much more dynamic. Lois especially is written thay way and Teri Hatcher brings her to life. That version of Clark , even though he’s “mild mannered” he plays it differently. He’s so much more expressive and has more personality. And of course his and Lois’ chemistry is off the charts.

In Superman and Lois I think the most interesting part of the show is their teenage sons and their storylines, tbh lol.

The only thing I like better on Superman and Lois is the Superman suit. Lol it’s so cheesy in Lois and Clark.

I might keep watching it, idk. It will probably end up being the show I put on while I do my diamond paintings and I won’t be 100% paying attention.

[jim-bones-spock]

Okay, alright, here’s my analysis of seasons 5 and 6 of Community, starting with Repilot (an episode that lives rent free in my mind!!!)

Repilot is the epitome of what I’m trying to say, it’s meta and dissecting the very essence of the show, since it’s a literal “do over” (Re-Pilot)

The ironic thing is that Jeff would have succeeded in his law practice if there wasn’t a season 5, but since we need him back at Greendale, Jeff fails.

Hard.

The episode is basically a huge mirror from the pilot episode.

The same character from season 1’s inciting incident, Allan, sends Jeff back to school. We see what Jeff would have become if he didn’t go to Greendale for four years, so we at least have this parallel to go on.

Our Jeff is not that defeated that he would go as low as Allan, right?

Right????

We already see Jeff’s delusion with the world, he’s back to his cynical self, drinking and wallowing. His red tie almost undone vs the red superhero suit in his commercial. It’s already darker but the narrative needs him in school, so it has to be a little extreme.

Then, Jeff goes back to Greendale. Immediately Leonard is there, blowing raspberries. Jeff sees his and Annie’s trophy. We’re having a much better time, even if it’s not for a long time.

Because Greendale has turned the camp and the chaos and the sheer stupidity to eleven. Because the narrative needs to remind us of how detached from reality the school is. Because it’s a TV show. There’s a class about ladders, for god’s sake.

It needs to be this wacky because the show has now shifted to: We’re gonna save Greendale. We’re gonna save the show, like it’s been saved on Yahoo.ca, whatever it takes.

When they get to the study room, the table has been buried - the show has been buried, too, but when everyone comes back (Abed: the Dean called me, I called everyone else) just like the pilot, they put life back into it.

Abed is still Jeff’s mirror here, and suggests that Jeff becomes a teacher at the school, because it would be the most TV-logical thing to do, especially since Jeff got his diploma in education hello!??

I LOVE how Jeff is like absolutely not. He’s still fighting the narrative, trying to make sense of his new role.

The Dean also has a very interesting speech about “Greendale is a good place for good people, that old spiel” basically having a cynical view of seasons 1-3 and making fun of the initial message of the show. We already know this, but Greendale has changed. Or maybe, Jeff has changed and is now starting to see the cracks.

Coming back to the study room, they immediately start to fall back into old patterns of bickering, because they all have something to hide and are too proud to admit they are miserable. Shirley brings them back to reality before they get too far. Once again, rooting us slowly into reality.

Jeff, for his part, forgot how good it felt to be bad. When he beats down Allan with his own tie… woof, that was rough. He takes the tie. Takes charge. Wants his own identity back, because it’s much easier to be bad than good. Much easier to pretend that he doesn’t care, than actually caring. Caring got him hurt.

Then Chang appears and makes fun of the absurdity of his character. It’s easy to see here, because when said out loud, Chang’s development is the most extreme. Like come on, amnesia? Get a grip, show!!!

Jeff then feels he has been robbed of his identity and starts to point out each character’s development:

Britta was an eclectic anarchist. She is now the airhead, which is heartbreaking and I don’t want to think about season 1 Britta too much or I go insane.

Shirley began the show by taking back her independence from her cheating husband and is now the one who cheated ???

Annie lost her go-getter attitude and settled for a job she hates.

Abed, multiple breakdowns. Like, at least one per season.

Troy’s Clive Owen Tumblr (what is his url u think) but no, seriously, always being with Abed and nothing else.

They did ended up like mixed up cartoons, and not only because of the “gas leak year”. They’ve become stereotypes, as sitcom characters often do. They’ve evolved, but perhaps not in the original direction intended, or not where we left then in season 3.

Now, it’s time for them to Get Something Back. Their narratives.

Annie says to Jeff: Greendale is in your hands. And it is. If Jeff talks long enough, he can make the people around him do things. It’s his power. Greendale’s fate is in his hands.

Then, Abed throws his words back at him: you make us see the right truth.

And that could be that Greendale is a place worth saving!!!! Jeff knows that, because, as usual, with one sentence, Abed has thrown off his resolve. Maybe Jeff needs to show them another thruth. But Jeff needs one last convincing first.

The Pierce hologram is my favorite. The fact that only Jeff could see it for some reason, echoes season 1 when Pierce was more of a grumpy grandpa that sometimes gave Jeff some nugget of wisdom and acted like a distorted father figure. Same here.

Jeff walks back in the school, screaming to the Dean about his power to destroy the place. But he won’t do it. He’s so desperate for something to matter once more and for that thing not to be dark and twisted.

And then. And Then. The Dean offers him a job.

Teacher.

The way Jeff looks up as he would be talking to god (non specific) when he whispers “Screw you Abed” as soon as he sees his path laid out for him: become a teacher at the school who, he thinks, stole 4 years of his life. He looks up like he’s delivering a monologue in theater, like he’s alone, like he’s praying.

As you can see, I feel VERY normal about the acting choices.

Screw you, Abed. Screw you, TV show. Screw you, logical way for my character to stay and have the rest of my story be mine, or trying to be.

The table burns, but that’s okay, because they build a new one together. This is truly theirs, now. They have the power to do anything.

And Jeff, well…

Jeff still, in his darkest moments, thought of his friends. In his most ironic moment, looked UP to Abed/his mirror/the narrative and said “Screw you…

…I’ll do it anyway.”

[ginger-grimm]

I think Chicago Med continues to be best show of One Chicago verse currently running. It doesn't seem to be bogged down too much by budget cuts and the storylines aren't mindnumbingly repetitive and boring.

As for this episode and expectations for the next: I thought this episode was fine, pretty melodramatic, probably the most boring one this season so far. I have a hard time believing Dean will actually quit. But also Steven Webber's performance has somewhat grown on me. I know people would probably rejoice if he left and he still has his annoying moments, but I think he has potential. Anyways, yeah, that whole storyline seems pretty odd to me in general but drama's gotta drama.

Sarah being back is probably the plottwist of the century. I was entirely convinced Rachel DiPillo had stopped acting for good. I don't think she'll come back for good, or even more than this one episode, but maybe, hopefully, her issues with Daniel can be adressed. The storyline with Sarah's father was certainly the downslide into the soap opera drama of season 4 and I hated how Sarah switching to psychology ruined their father/daughterly bond.

I kind of figured that the radiology doc was not the culprit. I did think of him at first but it should have occured to me that the herring was too red. I do wonder who it will be in the end. Rewatching the Halloween ep and seeing certain body parts in the promo, it looks like a woman. I just wonder if it's someone already introduced (which would be a nicer payoff) or a letdown with some rando who got fired.

Anyways, so far, Dr. Frost continues to be my favorite new character. I think his character brings something interesting back to the show. An intriguing backstory that you could do much with than just the jokes. Just saying, lampshading the way kids are treated in Hollywood would be interesting to explore.

[egipci]

what do you think it is exactly that's stopping the daemyra pairing from being more compelling? bc i feel the exact same way and i can't pinpoint it. is it just the show not hitting the right points and letting it kind of blur into the background... is it an acting problem, a chemistry problem? i think rhaenyra by herself is great and matt smith is really bizarrely ugly imo but a very good actor and from the beginning i had faith in him to play daemon (and i'm still enjoying him for the most part). also its not like one or both parties being ugly has stopped me from getting into a pairing before but i just for the life of me cannot bring myself to feel anything about them at all. i am kind of a lowkey viserys/daemon shipper but again that's not something that on paper would have stopped me from also caring about d/r? i feel like that's been the consensus amongst casual viewers too tbh, having read the book(s) i expected more outrage from my normie friends over the incest but more than one of them has complained about being bored with those two. it's gnawing at me. idk would be interested to hear your thoughts

Hello hello <3 I had to take a minute to think more about this beyond "the vibes are just not there anymore” lol, because I actually really did enjoy the ship in S1a, even though I vastly prefer Emma D'Arcy and older Rhaenyra to Milly Alcock (and she was great in her own right) and despite Matt Smith's... unconventional charm. And while I do think the actors still have plenty of chemistry, and I can be persuaded to care more, at this point I just find myself wondering 'what do these characters like about each other? what is this relationship like?’

The thing I have found particularly attractive about incest (and even more inter-generational incest) is that it's inherently a shorthand for deep history and affection and obligation (kinda like childhood best friends to lovers in that way) -- I don't need to see Daemon meet Rhaenyra for the first time as a new-born to like, imagine the feeling of meeting a very little person related to you for the first time and the parental feelings that inspires. And of course an uncle/niece relationship is per se about the nexus character, namely the brother/father, and so far the show has delivered on that front. Viserys is their third because he's the raison d'etre of the relationship, but I can't figure what else is going on there, I don't know what inspires the romantic turn. Daemon is a parental figure to her, but he's not just that, and that's the reason the relationship is permissible in their world in the first place, but what else is there? In ep 2x4 little Rhaenyra articulates what the initial draw was for her, and then again adult Rhaenyra does the same in ep 6, but what is it to Daemon? What does he like about her? Like, I know why I like watching her as a character, but what does he like about her?

Not to make everything about j/d but for the sake of illustration --- j/d is a parent/child relationship obviously, and whenever I write them the central motif is that deep paternal love but that's not enough to explain the sexual turn (whether consummated or un). There has to be some extra something there, which is in the case of J/D the 20+ years of history and partnership between them, which we only see glimpses of. But I factually know that in canon it existed, and I can still see its impacts on Dean all the way to the very last scene of the show. There's a reason I find J/D more plausible than J/S, even though John feels the same profound affection and devotion towards Sam.

I have no sense of that history with D/R. I can fill in the blanks when we first meet them in ep 1, but that can only go so far, because the adapted text leads me to believe there is no such history between them. There is no canon opportunity for that relationship to develop. We have a few scenes with them between s1 ep 1-2, then there's a three year time jump to ep. 4 during which they haven't seen each other, between 5 and 7 there are ten years where these characters do not interact, unlike in the book. Their reconciliation in ep. 7 feels more like a grief-fueled political alliance than a rekindling of a torrid affair, which is of course plenty interesting as a foundation for a relationship, but then we immediately jump six years into the future in ep8. Presumably any given relationship is different at year 20 from what it was at year 0, I just don't know much about how this particular relationship has evolved. I know they have had sex in the interim because I see they have kids, but that's about it. And it's unfortunate, because the show has been able to deliver real-feeling relationships in very limited scenes between Rhaenyra and Laenor, for example, or Aegon with his parents and Otto in S1. And to be sure the D/R relationship doesn't lack nuance, it just doesn't have the emotional resonance to me of a romance between soulmates like the show runners describe it. From a Rhaenyra-centric pov it simply feels like getting with your high school crush after many years in-between and it's just not working out as you would have hoped. From a Daemon-pov, Rhaenyra just feels like a consolation prize. And also both of them used to date the same guy. And ironically, I actually find that intriguing enough, I just feel like I'm being gaslighted by the show runners and its fans about what I'm actually watching.

Like I said before, incest aside, I think this is a very common problem in conveying romance in visual media, or at least a common experience for me as a viewer (which is why I consider myself a pretty non-shipper normie). Obviously there are many many people who ship it and spend a lot of time thinking about it out there, so it's not unpopular by any stretch, and I think fandom and transformative works are completely valid ways to deepen your investment in canon and the characters, but it takes a lot for me to reach that level of interest.

As to your impression of the normie consensus: that seems more or less accurate to me --- none of my normie friends have seen s2 yet, but I do watch a lot of reaction videos (lol) and people seem more invested in the dragons and the overall family drama and politics than in the romantic dimension to D/R. Though to be fair, I don't know that any of the romantic relationships on the show are particularly attractive. Corlys and Rhaenys were wonderful, and I'm intrigued by Cole/Alicent (and Alicent/Aegon in headcanon land), but it's a pretty sexless show on the whole. Like, even Baela and Jace have taken vows of chastity until marriage or something, it's very strange.

Re: Viserys/Daemon: <3 I think it's wonderful actually! I haven't finished F&B and I haven't read any of the other books so I don't know if there is some gay incest down the line, but I don't think there is? Which is bizarre of course because why wouldn't two siblings of the same gender develop a relationship in the fucking your siblings family? I think that conflict would have been tremendously intriguing to explore, and I can so easily see Daemon as a character attached to his vision of Targaryen godhood pushing that permission even further to fuck his brother. As it were it's completely consistent with the show and with Daemon's chemistry with male characters, and holds a lot of explanatory value for him as a character, but I do wish it were made more explicit. And this is coming from someone who generally finds sibling incest pretty meh to squicky. In a different world I would write about them, but all this canon is enough for me!

[prettyflyshyguy]

WE'RE FINALLY HERE. WE'RE FINALLY AT S3E7 - FRESH BLOOD

And you KNOW ya girl has a lot more to say about this one so let's just get this party started shall we.

And now that I have CONTEXT I have THOUGHTS

The tragedy of this character is awful. But I'm appreciative for what it allows as a narrative device (as much as it is a shame that this random woman is negated to being that, and only that; a device) - after they've SEEN vampires be good and live a peaceful life. It's harsh that they just cull her off and decide that its a decision they are allowed to make.

This will surely not come back to haunt them when Dean gets infected in three seasons time.

I am a big sucker for anytime this show has them Decide something for others, only to be hit with "Oh no now its happening to us" and the immense emotional turmoil that causes.

Going to lean into this a lot more in the fic I think.

Bella hon I love you, but seeing Dean give a genuine threat because the man's got one thing to lose now and he's not letting anything take it away while he's still alive; marvelous.

Throw one too many low blow shots about him being no better than you and maybe just maybe he starts to act like it.

BLOOD JAR BLOOD JAR BLOOD JAR

Now I did skip to watch this episode cause I can't help myself, I like vampires too much and spn hits the spot. Having said that re-watching this with context on GORDON has made it a lot more interesting.

Now I really. Like. Gordon. He's a great antagonist. His voice, his mannerisms, the way he is so uncomfortably unsettlingly calm. Phenomenal. He has some really iconic lines and moments in this show and he's such a good foil to Dean.

Absolute epitome of "become the thing you despise" but deep end side of it. Like he's become so consumed by obsession and righteousness in his actions and his drive is just too strong.

I enjoyed that this ep looks at the primal survival instinct. And the duality of the Winchester's (mostly Sam) attitude towards Gordon being; man's gotta go, contrasted with the way Gordon talks to the Vampire. It's the gradual build up of detachment. Gordon is a monster. So are the Winchesters. None of them want to see that in themselves. The Vampire is too. They're all just coming at it from different angles. Each party has deep rooted trauma and pain, and each are dealing with it in a terrible way.

Sam's uncomfortable attitude shift of "It's Gordon or us" is harrowing. Dean being the more hesitant one is interesting. He's the first to chop off the head of a infected woman who's confused, upset, and pleading for help - but Gordon makes him uncomfortable (despite everything) and Sam's cold cut attitude doesn't help. I mean they've left him alive twice and each time he's only gotten more ruthless.

Dean cracks a joke about Sam not pushing back against killing him, but that feels far more like Dean fishing for Sam's conscience because he's unsure what the right thing to do is because Gordon isn't by definition an 'evil thing' in the lore books. Sam's no longer the grounding rock.

Oh if it were so easy.

You can really see they were dabbling with the transformation scenes in this and they just came in SWINGING when S6 rolled around.

the SPN vampire teeth are growing on me (HAR. HAR. HAR.) regrettably.

Ok so. This really begs the question. How much willpower does it take to resist. How much does that differ, per person? Is this Gordon just full SNAPPING upon being turned? Does he just immediately relent due to him already being on the brink? He has the most intense and unhinged attitude of all the hunter's that've been given primary screen time, so maybe its fair to say that part of him just completely caved in once he got hit with the overstimulation + hunger combo.

I think back to his introduction episode and how he talked to Dean about the hole inside yourself, like the pit or void you'll never fill or satisfy. How he used that to drive himself forward. Working solo, without a rock to anchor himself to (Dean has Sam) maybe Gordon just completely lost himself in this initial phase after turning.

This also echoes the S6 moment when Dean visits Lisa and also gets violent. Dean also loses control but ALMOST bites her. He still throws her and Ben around like they're ragdolls, which he clearly never intended to do.

Once again, great shots in this show. However I do wonder if its just my personal bias, or if there is a bit of an imbalance of woman corpse. Don't want to throw a stone from a glass house though. Just feels weird not mentioning it when I'm like "WOW SICK SHOT" and its. This picture.

Anyway. More to the point. "You don't understand. I was desperate. You ever felt desperate? I've lost everyone I ever loved. I'm staring down eternity alone."

Now THIS is what I'm talking about. It's so fucking human. What a shame, we're forced to see ourselves in something we deeply and truly want to believe isn't like us at all. Oh Dear. Reconcile THAT Dean you little shit.

This is so nicely echoed in S6 - the vampire is done, he's lost everything and he'd just rather have it end. The nihilism, the bottom of the pit. The end of the downward spiral.

Gordon's turn on Eternal Damnation and he wants to get off.

Once again I deeply enjoy the way the Hunters just drop everything so cold when something happens to someone. Including Sam and Dean in that, they struggle cause they're younger, less experienced, less jaded. The older hunters are fucking brutal. Gordon's partner, despite genuinely believing Sam has to die, just full send tells Gordon "No I can't let you take out Sam first. I need to kill you right now."

Despite everything, the common goal that they both wholeheartedly believed in, that they both gunned for so hard, thrown out the window when one is turned. Hung out to dry.

And how quickly they all turn on each other when this happens.

Anyway I think lore wise the vampires get stronger once turned, but I'm guessing drinking human blood enhances this further. Making notes for myself cause Dean's on a strictly vegetarian diet and this complicates matters for him of course.

But yeah, jesus, Gordon.

Anyway

Now THIS is something I gotta remember - Dean becomes a fucking menace when he's scared. Jokes get more intense, he has no filter, does not stop at nothing even despite the increasing protesting of the people around and closest to him and he full disconnects from loved ones.

"No. I'm a monster."

UGH. Compels me.

It's the resignation that's so fun I think. Like he just snaps, decided Yeah, this is it. Eats some people, then goes back to the original plan of Kill Sam. But its the way he leans into being the monster. Gordon was a mess before, but now its like he's truly just let go of a part of himself as he truly believes there's no alternative. Every vampire he's met and killed he saw as a monster and nothing more. Despite one, in front of him, exercising self control, he's still committed to viewing them as only monsters.

Once turned he can only accept the singular reality that he is a monster, and so, he does nothing to combat it. He embraces it.

Is it easier to kill him when he's a vampire? Or was it a further reminder that he was, and still is, a person?

Closing thoughts: good ep, easily one of my favorites. But you already knew that.

Love you Gordon you bloody legend.

[synesindri]

lucifer gender symbolism essay part 7: daughters vs sons

(also briefly sisters vs brothers)

masterpost

supernatural is a lot about children’s relationship with their father; the main two characters are sons trying to navigate being good sons or bad sons. there is not an equivalent thing going on with daughters; that isn't of interest to the show in the same way that sons' dynamics with their fathers are. the archangels are good and bad sons, because the winchesters are sons, and that's how that is.

but. lucifer isn't like the winchesters in a lot of ways; would looking at him as a daughter change anything about how we interpret him? i don't know, but i'm intrigued by the concept so. this is an exploratory section to see what, if anything, is going on with daughters in spn, and if lucifer fits that category at all.

there aren’t a ton of examples of what daughters Are compared to what sons Are in supernatural, really — or, “daughter” is a less coherent role than “mother” within the show’s mythos, anyway. is that going to stop me from writing a section about this? no

jo is one point of contrast to sam and dean: she’s not supposed to hunt, but runs away to do it anyway, whereas sam and dean are raised to hunt (and sam runs away to not have to do it anymore). rebellion itself isn’t an especially daughter-y thing to do, since sam also does that, but i would say that hunting is closer to what lucifer’s plans are than not-hunting, so in a way jo is a better lucifer parallel than sam is, in this. hunting is about declaring oneself worthy of judging who gets to live or die, taking actions to eradicate types of entities that are “harmful” according to you; it feels like a good and worthy pursuit according to hunters themselves but it’s ethically questionable at best and it forces hunters to live at the fringes of society because it isn’t a normed, respected practice. sounds a lot like lucifer deciding humanity is harmful to the world and he is justified in removing them from it, doesn’t it? (i also have a post that discusses this in the context of lucifer-dean parallels here as well). 

the parallels to jo mostly stop there, i think. it isn’t a perfect comparison; lucifer isn’t supposed to avoid “hunting” out of anyone’s fear that lucifer will get hurt. it’s a little bit true that he’s not supposed to “hunt” while others are allowed to, since other angels are permitted to take human lives — huge numbers of human lives — into their own hands, but it’s different because lucifer’s intentions are different from michael’s/raphael’s/zachariah’s/castiel’s/etc, whereas jo’s are pretty much identical to sam and dean’s. still, the parallels are there, despite being limited. maybe not enough to say lucifer is doing Daughter Behaviors, but enough that jo feels like a reasonable parallel to consider.

on the other hand, mary is also a daughter, who was raised to hunt, who rebels against that expectation, and runs away. her story is very similar to sam’s — and both of these stories, i think, are more similar to gabriel’s than lucifer’s. mary and sam both have rebellion against the dictates of their family, similar to jo, so that IS a lucifer parallel, but it isn’t really a daughter thing.

other daughters get a little more “ehh” i think. lilith is maybe the most interesting one to look at: she’s very powerful, impressive, and terrifying — another woman in white, too, in her last appearance — but she’s also a source of shame and disdain for her “father,” since lucifer doesn’t like what she became. this is a pretty direct parallel to lucifer, who is also powerful, impressive, and terrifying, but is rejected by god, who made him the way that he is. 

meg and ruby are both daughters, but imo their daughterness isn’t very different from the behavior of any loyal child following orders in the show. i don’t have anything to say about this, really.

so basically, there is little coherent theory about what a daughter is vs what a son is in supernatural, as far as i can tell. lucifer has similarities to sons and similarities to daughters, and some other sons have some similarities to some daughters. 

the one thing daughters definitively are in comparison to a son in supernatural, though, is that daughters are not what sam and dean winchester are. not to be obnoxious but it’s “carry on my wayward son” — wayward daughters wasn’t even the spinoff; that was wayward sisters. sam and dean are the same in their son-ness, in whatever other ways they differ. michael is a son — A Good Son, in fact — and in that, michael is much, much more different from lucifer than dean is from sam. dean is the obedient son and sam the rebellious son, but sam returned to his family and cannot definitively be said NOT to be a good son — he maybe isn’t a good son in the way michael is, but still, he never isn’t john’s son. 

don’t get me wrong on this, i know that lucifer is never referred to as a daughter, and i am not claiming that sam (or dean) would have been any less john’s kid (or any less good) had he been a daughter instead of a son. the only thing i’m saying is that michael and lucifer are divided where dean and sam are united, and referring to lucifer as a daughter would hammer home that difference between them even more. lucifer being a daughter would otherize her relative to michael the Good Son, relative to sam, and relative to the overwhelming son-ness that is michael, dean, and sam (and adam) collectively. daughter!lucifer would break the parallels, for better or for worse (here’s a post on this subject, also)   

(i’m not doing a section on brothers vs sisters for this reason. i think othering lucifer in the context of fathers is more effective than othering lucifer in the context of siblings. i think it’s fine to have angels refer to lucifer as “sister” in fic; i have done that myself, but this is my thesis post on fem lucifer and if i’m going to get this into it: i think lucifer should be “brother” to michael. i don’t think it would be incorrect to have lucifer be “sister” to michael; certainly one of the things that is different between the michael-lucifer dynamic and the dean-sam dynamic is that michael and lucifer aren’t choosing each other the way dean and sam are, but to me that’s so much about god. by season 5, john is dead; dean and sam are making choices about each other because of each other — by season 5, god is gone, but michael and lucifer still act like he’s not, like he might come back, like they are still constantly being watched and evaluated by him, and so i think lucifer is othered relative to relevant characters specifically because of the son(/daughter) role, not the brother role.

(...that said, this only holds for lucifer being michael’s brother because of the winchester parallels. gabriel or raphael could have called lucifer their sister and it would have been cool and good, i think)

part 6: mothers vs fathers part 8: jarpad and mark p's acting styles masterpost

[scoobydoodean]

“Loving Dean is a curse that gets other people killed.”

This breaks my heart because this is definitely how Dean sees himself and I hate that for him. I hate that people made him feel that. I hate that the toxic masculinity was so fucking strong that Dean never would’ve bought into therapy. I hate what was done to Dean and how those voices now live inside him and he can’t stop them.

I extra hate it because it was the first time I ever saw a character and saw myself. The difference is that I had someone who loved me enough to push me to do the work and heal. Nobody ever loved Dean enough to live or to actually support him through the work of healing.

Ngl—I don't think toxic masculinity is really Dean's problem? That isn't to say I don't think Dean is a victim of toxic masculinity or that toxic masculinity doesn't affect his life. I just think "Men aren't supposed to feel x" is pretty rarely the reason Dean suppresses something from my perspective.

I actually think when Dean suppresses things (which I think he actually does far less—or at least less effectively—than Sam or Cas) it's usually with quite a lot of awareness about what he is doing (I have a post I need to make about this related to 3.10), and it's because he genuinely cannot afford to fall apart, or feels that he can't afford it. Throughout the whole show, Dean is actively in a war zone or he's repeatedly being thrust back into one and has to be ready to react at any moment. Take season 4—where Dean is freshly returned from arguably the most traumatic experience of his entire life, and is immediately saddled with an apocalypse in which he unwittingly and unwillingly plays a starring role. I haven't had very many experiences I would consider traumatic (and certainly not on Dean's scale), but the one that stands out was not a situation I was mentally capable of healing from while I was still trapped in the situation that was causing me that distress. I had to get out first. 15.19 does set Dean up to escape the war zone, but then 15.20 rips away his right to choose his own path (until The Winchesters) by killing him and writing through decades of time where Dean's feelings and voice are utterly silenced.

I think everyone has their own vision of what healing looks like for Dean. I think for a lot of people, healing looks like a deancas reunion. For one of my friends, healing looks like Dean leaving Sam and Cas behind forever and making his own path away from them jahgdjabjdfnj. For others, it looks like retirement and maybe therapy.

I think tbh the show itself ruined "Dean goes to therapy" for me (especially with 13.04) and also the idea of me really dictating Dean's path at all? (And when I said that to a friend, she said "So Dean is really a real person to you, huh?" jshbfjhsbdajhfb) but I think it's that... what I want for Dean after years of being objectified and used and having his voice silenced, is freedom and endless possibilities—including freedom from my own vision of his ultimate fate? It's so strange because it's almost as if the finale thinks it gave me that with the open road Dean drove along. Yet in reality, it gives me the stifling, nightmarish antithesis—a Dean devoid of determination who looks and feels like he has utterly given up and is just swept along by the tide, silenced, moving through a void, painted with forced happiness/contentment that doesn't feel real. For me, The Winchesters renewed that flame in Dean, but what I want for Dean—personally—looks probably more like... Dean having a knock-down-drag-out vicious fight with almost everyone in his life one by one, where he advocates for his own interest and his right to be heard, and well... wins. 🤭 And then goes on to do absolutely whatever the fuck he wants.

I think Dean does know—he really does—where most of these intrusive thoughts originate from, and a part of him knows these judgements of himself aren't fair ("Dream A Little Dream Of Me" shows us a lot of Dean's awareness, as does "Sam Interrupted") but... hm... I guess for me personally, therapy isn't what I'm looking for for him. But I think it's completely valid that other people want to see that—especially when speaking from their own experiences and the joy they now have that they'd like to share with him.

[kimwexlers-brownhair]

what are your thoughts on Gilmore girls so far?

I'm on season 3, so my thoughts may change, but so far I really love it, for the most part.

I'm fascinated by Rory. I'd very much like to study her under glass. I know a lot of people say the later seasons absolutely ruin Rory's character, and of course I'll have to wait for said seasons to say for sure, but I think there've been plenty of hints so far that she's got a darker side. The way she talked to Shane in the hair dye shop? Atrocious.

I mean, I don't really blame her at this point in the show. She's very young. Lorelai obviously overcorrected her parents' mistakes by making Rory her prococious other half and she along with her grandparents and the rest of Stars Hollow treat her like the preciousest princess ever. It's impossible for that not to warp a kid's mind.

I have the advantage of being older than most of my generation was when they first watched, so I can afford to be more objective. I told two friends my age who were huge fans back in the day that I was finally watching it and they both said they were "total Rorys". And I was like...no you weren't! I knew one of you back then, and you may be as smart as Rory, but you definitely were more of a Type A Paris! And that's great, because Paris is the greatest! But it's inevitable if you were a teenager in 2000 watching Gilmore Girls you'd imprint hard on Rory no matter what you were really like. You're meant to.

(I was a Lane who aged into a Luke)

But I do think the writers were slowly building to how unprepared all this adulation and idolizing made Rory for the real world. She may be incredibly smart, but there is no way she becomes the next Christiane Amanpour. When she sits like a bump on a log next to Paris when they're both supposed to be interviewing the college admissions people? Paris has the guts for that kind of life, but not Rory. That girl has zero guts. She'd make a kickass librarian, though. Some place like Library of Congress would be perfect for her, since I'm sure there are a lot of opportunities to help journalists in their research, which she'd be totally boss at. But charging into war zones and being, dare I say it, pushy sometimes and aggressive in not a passive way? Nah.

Not to be all Logan Roy about it, but she's just not built for it. And that's okay! Neither am I! And that's why I do work at a library! But of course, Rory is meant for GrEaTeR ThInGs.

I am very empathetic to Lorelai -- for anyone who says she acts like a spoiled brat to her parents, may I remind you of that time Richard blamed her for Christopher marrying someone else because she didn't marry him at *sixteen?* Fuck her parents, she's always laying down reasonable boundaries and trying to be the bigger person (okay, maybe not ALWAYS, but still) -- anyway, I'm empathetic to her, but she has put a whole different kind of pressure and set of expectations on Rory than her parents put on her.

"We're best friends first and mother and daughter second." Well, that's a big magenta flag if not outright red. I still give her a lot of leeway because of having Rory so young and the fact she herself never got to grow up normally. But it doesn't do Rory any favors.

And don't get me started on the Rory-Dean-Jess triangle. It's another example of how I'm older (and possibly more aromantic) than the target demographic. I just don't give any kind of shit about it other than the fact the storyline reveals more of Rory's self-centered streak. However, I'm just way more interested in the intergenerational tension between Lorelai and her parents, the Chilton plotlines, and the Stars Hollow eccentrics (Kirk my beloved!).

That, and obviously Paris is Rory's soulmate for better or for worse, so all this nonsense is just a waste of time.

To sum up, things I love about the show: it's addictive, for one thing, and it also manages to tell complex stories with multifaceted characters while still feeling very pleasant and easy to watch. Michel, Lane, Sookie, Miss Patty, Taylor, Babette, and above all my darling Kirk are all vastly underrated. Luke has his psychopathic moments, but I can't help relating. Emily and Richard are the worst, but the best at being entertaining so I give them a pass. Paris is all. I'm a big fan of this show overall.

Things I don't love: The Not-Like-Other-Girlsness of Lorelai and Rory, and -- I know I'm going to get stoned for this -- I find the Lorelai/Rory banter pretty goddamn tiresome. Neither of them are as funny as they think they are, and it's another example of how they both share the same Main Character Syndrome (yeah, sure, they are technically the main characters in the Doylist sense, but from a Watsonian standpoint they just steamroll every room they enter).

But my most important takeaway is that we fatphobes in the early '00s weren't willing to accept how gorgeous, cute, and sexy Melissa McCarthy was as Sookie. Those big blue eyes with that red hair? Those dimples? Lucky guy, Jackson.

[becomingpart2]

what are your opinions on the main Gilmore girls characters?

Oh! Okay let me see... I like Lorelai, I think she's an interesting woman and a complex lead, especially for the time, even though I sometimes think the show wants me to think she's just incredible all around. That said, she does kind of annoy me at times lol.

I don't know if it's something I developed over the years or if it was something that always bothered me but I really dislike characters (and people) who are always trying to be funny and quirky all the time. It gets tiring pretty quickly.

I like Rory, too, albeit a little less than I did when I used to watch the show as a kid (which now I realize were only a few eps of s1 lol). I don't have a lot of opinions or feelings about her yet. She's just a regular kid for the most part and like I said before, I understand why she would have problems later on because of the way she was raised and I can relate to that side of her to a certain degree.

I like Lane, I think she's funny and relatable and just the typical best friend lol. Dean is okay so far too, no strong feelings there as well. He's cute with Rory but I have a feeling that's about to change in a near future (the last ep I watched was ep 10).

Emily is starting to get a bit more nuance and I'm enjoying it. I like Paris lol, I don't care that she's a bitch, she's just so neurotic and all over the place, I can't help but like her. I really like Luke, which I didn't expect lmao. He's just adorable and hot! I can't stand Tristan lol. I guess that's about it. I feel like my opinions are really basic lol

[hyacinthsdiamonds]

Reasons I hated the ending;

Inconsistent ooc writing. I don't know who the f was on my screen but that wasn't the Sam or Dean we've grown with for fifteen years.

Plot holes; the vampire mimes??? Where did they come from?? Because John thought Vampires were extinct until Dead Man's Blood and then he's you know dead so when did he have this supposed hunt with these pathetic excuses for a typical monster of the week villain let alone the last ever one?

Jenny. She wasn't even named in her first episode. Not once in fifteen years did one viewer go "I wonder what happened to her". Nostalgia? Most people didn't recognize her. She's only notable for being part of the first wlw and same-sex kiss on the show which was nonconsensual because the other girl forced herself on Jenny and only did it for the amusement of the men watching. There's also interesting points regarding to the show's vilification of queer people in the early seasons as majority of the first queer characters were what the show deemed monsters and were portrayed as predatory or destructive (they literally had Lily accidentally kill her girlfriend by touching her) and if they were "human" they were used as the punchline until Charlie when we actually got good rep and she was eventually butchered. Most queer characters ended up dead, or at least dead from some time. Only four queer characters are even hinted to be alive at the end (we don't know nothing about Charlie 2.0's fate), Kaia and Claire who's reunion and overall ending is left open to interpretation (hinted they're alive as Donna texted Sam which hints the wayward sisters are ok), Max who as far as we are aware is still condemned to go to Hell when he dies and Chuck one of if not the only canon bisexual males in the show was vilified to such a significant degree it doesn't matter that he's still alive. To have Jenny be the character they bring back while ignoring the show's integral queer characters like Charlie or Crowley or Claire or Cas etc is something else when the nonconsensual kiss was what turned her into a vampire.

Of the three female characters we see in the finale none have any connections to the viewers. Jenny the only character we've seen before is killed immediately. Blurry wife literally only exists to provide the womb for Sam to have a son to name after Dean so it doesn't look like he kidnapped a random kid, she's not deemed important enough to be even seen properly. "Sam could've ended up with anymore it's open to interpretation" bullshit because that's clearly a white woman which erases so many interpretations and it is so clearly a cop out. The third is a woman who literally gets silenced at the start of the episode, she gets her tongue cut out. The most we get is a text from Donna and a line about Mary.

Cas' ending. You pulled Chekhov's gun out. The gun had to go off but instead of acknowledging his confession, they refused to allow Dean to voice his feelings, refused to even give Cas a concrete ending. We don't know for an absolute fact if he's in heaven, all we're told is Cas helped. His death is literally bury your gays, an example of out of the closet and into the fire. He deserved better as a main character of twelve years.

Dean's death is problematic as fuck. His death is implied to be a suicide. It's said to be a good thing, him dying, him dying that way. This still fucks me up. He deserved to live. He deserved so much, I see him having some sort of roadhouse like Ellen taking care of wayward children and hunters alike, and having some sort of auto shop like Bobby did. I see him aged and happy. I see Cas beside him as he should be.

Sam's ending is bullshit. It erases fifteen years of character development, of relationships and it makes it all pointless. Sam is forced to lead the life he would've lived had Dean not showed up at his dorm in the pilot. What was the point of any of it? Was Dean just a fifteen year interruption of his brother's real life? His character arc was leading towards a completely different route and they did a full 180 and regressed his character so much. Sam should've become the next Bobby, teaching and helping a new generation of hunters and he should've gotten to keep/use his powers. He should've gotten to pass on Rowena's knowledge to a new generation of witches too and I'll die on both those hills.

EILEEN LEAHY DESERVED FUCKING BETTER. First you kill her by hellhounds. You kill a deaf woman with something she needs to be able to hear in order to have a chance at surviving. Second you bring her back, develop her and Sam's relationship and then you kill her again, don't give Sam a chance to even react to it and then leave her fate unknown and then throw in blurry wife to add insult to injury.

The pacing was so off. Like carry on wayward son plays back to back twice in a weird montage??

The party city wig. It's genuinely laughable. Like that's what the cw went broke over lmfao.

It's hilariously bad for your average monster of the week episode. As a final ever episode, it's like spitting and peeing into the fans drink and forcing them to drink it.

It wasn't for the fans. I know some fans liked it, I disagree with their opinions but respect them BUT it's clear that the episode was the way it was for people who ditched the show earlier on in it's run could tune in and not feel like they missed anything, which for a show with 15 seasons should never have been the case. It was a kick in the face for those who stuck it out from beginning to end

Amara's ending doesn't sit right with me. Like she's just absorbed into Jack? Jack at three is God? Amara should've been God and Jack should've gotten to be a kid on Earth.

Rusty. Nail. Andrew Dabb why did you hate Dean Winchester and Jensen Ackles?

What about Cas' deal with Ruby? What about Rowena and the demons in Hell? What happened to Adam? Everyone Chuck snapped allegedly got brought back (no confirmation on Eileen, Charlie 2.0 or Stevie) but Michael got vaporized in Adam's body so what happened to Adam next? Forgotten again ffs. The vamp mimes are their own plot hole but how did they and Jenny team up? Like what connection did they even have? I could go on forever on forgotten plotlines and blatant plot holes.

John Winchester being in heaven.

Ruining carry on my wayward son. It's literally a jump scare at this point for me

Things I liked about the finale;

The dog

The party city wig for the memes only

[whats-9plus10]

Here’s a top 10 list of my favorite Gary moments based on absolutely nothing but my personal opinions.

10. Gary’s haircut

Move over Zuko. Gary’s character development hasn’t finished yet. I feel like this signified a whole new chapter for him that we were supposed to see in season 8, but now will hopefully get to see in the movie. Also he looks so good with his little slut strands.

9. Grippy socks Gary

Gary helping Hank and Dermott was cute. That’s it. It was so damn cute. It was the trio I didn’t know I needed until it happened. Gary was creeping around the compound looking for an adventure, and unlike Al who got roped into Hank’s nonsense, Gary encouraged it. He provided the intel, made the plan, and probably drove them to the bank. Gary crafting was adorable and he looks so good in scrubs. This is an underrated Gary episode.

I also found it interesting that he continued to call himself Viceroy after cutting ties with the Monarch. I guess following a man dressed as a butterfly since in middle school does things to the developing adolescent brain. Gary was still seeing butterflies, literally (although to be fair, those ink blots do look like butterflies).

8. Hero with a number

The original Captain Sunshine has Gary pegged. I don’t know if I would go so far to call him a “hero”, but he is one of the most genuine characters on the show and the people around him respond to that. He made an impression on Shore Leave that later made way for him to join S.P.H.I.N.X. After his iconic fight with Brock, Brock didn’t walk away. He sat down next to him and waited at least long enough to light up a smoke until Gary woke up. Then they worked together to defeat a common enemy. Gary must’ve made a good enough impression on Hank so that he could later appeal to Enrico Matassa to save the Monarch from being shot in season 7. And after robbing Hatred blind for years, Hatred ended up bonding with Gary. Even if it was just for a moment. He’s the nice guy Dean wishes he was. Side note - Gary in only a loincloth and mask keeps me up at night. Why doesn’t this man have more bitches? How has RUSTY seen more action than Gary. I’ll volunteer guys don’t worry I’m on it.

7. Suiting up

Please see my meow meow edit.

But seriously how does Gary just know everything? He knew about Enzo’s, he knew about Teddy at Dunwitch, he made it his job to know what’s good and he’s good at it. What’s more impressive than his physical glow up is how loyal and competent he’s become. He’s a guy that will it handle it. How? He’ll just handle it don’t worry about it.

6. Kano

Amazing. Phenomenal. A masterpiece. Gary as Kano was setting boundaries. He was addressing his trauma. He was competent and cool and he looked so damn good. And most importantly, IT WAS HIS IDEA! The Monarch didn’t want to dress up as his dead dad. Monarch wanted to do the same old “I’ll get you Dr. Venture” schtick. Gary came up with the idea to be bad guys dressed as good guys so they can kill bad guys so they can arch a good guy. Are you following along? Because Gary sure is.

5. S.P.H.I.N.X

God I wanted this to work out for him. This phase highlighted Gary’s main motivation. It’s not to be a hero or a villain, he just wants to be a part of something. His conversation with Hatred at the end of season 5 touches on that. When he was 1/2 of a nameless duo that was good enough for him. Being a leader after 24 died didn’t seem to satisfy him. He pursued a relationship with Dr. Mrs. but was rejected. He tried to follow Brock to the OSI but wasn’t accepted. He tried rebuilding a new team but was betrayed. I don’t know if he knew going back to the Monarch was the right choice, but it ended up being what he needed. The Monarch needed a new number 2 and Gary needed a new best friend. This all led up to his speech in his last scene during the last episode of season 7, which makes me appreciate this arc even more. 

4. Gary breaks the 4th wall

21 and 24 aren’t “invulnerable” despite what the Monarch thought. There are many instances in the show that shows exactly how these two idiots survived. They know the game. Gary reads the comics and watches the movies and plays the video games. And unlike Henchman 1, he can see a cliché coming. He’s a henchman and he knows exactly what that means, and it’s not worth dying for. He’s not the main character, he knows the good guys always win, so he hauls his ass out of whatever situation he’s in and hides so he can live another day. He can practically see the plot unfolding before him. He was competent long before his transformation whether he wanted to admit it or not. That’s why he didn’t buckle his seatbelt.

3. Gary climbs the Rocky Steps

I think we all agree that Gary’s transformation was one of the best developments in the show. He loved and he lost. Then he took a hard look in the mirror and decided to change. Season 4 Gary was motivated by grief. But what I love about him is that it didn’t turn him into a mean, cruel, jaded guy. He got dieseled and went back to the cocoon to make it a better place for himself and for all the other henchman. This was the ultimate taking of responsibility. Something we hadn’t seen in most of the other characters at the time.

2. Gary drives Dr. Girlfriend back to the cocoon.

I know what you’re thinking. Why did op put this random ass scene in the top 3? Because this is when Gary became my favorite character. I don’t care that he fought Brock (I still think it was awesome). I don’t care that he became General 21. When he was babbling about spin art to someone who could not care less, but he was just exited and thought it was cool, and I know he thought going from talking about their failed attempt to paint the car to spin art made sense in his head. It made sense to me. I remember being a kid and seeing this scene and realizing that whoever made this cartoon really understood me. That’s why he was so distraught when 24 sided with Killinger and devastated when he died. When you’re like that, it feels like nobody understands you and everybody thinks you’re weird. It took me forever to realize that a lot of people react similarly to Dr. Girlfriend, annoyed. So you learn to turn that side of you off. Gary didn’t have to do that because he had 24. And even though he had his glow up, that side of him remained intact. It’s one of the best aspects of his character. 

Also because I would play with my Cra-Z-Art spin art toy for hours it’s such a strange specific memory that this scene unlocked for me.

And finally….

1. You already know

Gary in sweatpants sent me through a second puberty. That’s it.

There are so many other moments that deserve to be in my top 10. Gary’s fight with Brock, Gary suiting up after the Monarch’s jail break, that moment at 15 where he just decided to stay with a guy that kidnapped him and work for him for the rest of his life. I’m not exaggerating when I say that I think Gary has one of the best written character arcs ever. I hope we get to see more of him one day. Everyone please support the movie when it comes out.