#the more of desmond miles’ life comes to him as dreams

[teecupangel]

Hey had you seen the posts about Murphy & his chick? Now imagine the chick is Desmond & his new single dad is one of his ancestors who, after fruitless brooding, finally has a baby. Animal or human.

https://www.tumblr.com/cookiemonstari/714456378863960064/fearthefuzzy-penguinsweaters-afeelgoodblog?source=share

I saw the first post about how Murphy incubates a rock so the link with the update on Murphy’s dad life is a pleasant surprise. I hope the best for him and his unnamed child.

As for the idea, why not both?

Humanoid figures with avian characteristics, including wings because wings AU are fun.

I kinda like the idea of this being a single-dad Ratonhnhaké:ton setup because this gives us an excuse to have Altaïr and Ezio be his ‘we’re trying to help’ dad friends who usually give contrasting advice. (Also, Edward wants to be called ‘grand pappy’)

Perhaps the chick would be brought in by someone else (maybe Bayek?) and given to Ratonhnhaké:ton to take care of. Ratonhnhaké:ton has wanted a child of his own for a while now but, now that he was a father, he wasn’t sure what to do.

Enter the commonly used proverb “It takes a flock to raise a fledging.” and everyone in the same avian community tries to support Ratonhnhaké:ton as he and Desmond grow as father and son.

Additional suggestions for this fic:

We can make Jacob, Evie, and Arno the same age as Desmond so he has childhood friends.

Darim, Sef, Flavia, and Marcello can be older kids (with Darim being the oldest) so Desmond would also have big brothers and sisters.

Of course, if you wish for everyone to spoil Desmond, you can make it that Desmond is the only fledgling in their flock as all the canon children (Darim and the others) have already grown up and have flown out of the nest. Jacob, Evie and Arno are around the same age as Ratonhnhaké:ton instead and they can act like the cool aunt and uncles.

If you want to hammer in the angst, make it clear that Desmond sustained injuries that can only be seen as ‘inflicted’ and not accidental. Whether this was done by his parents or by someone else is up to you.

Aveline could be Ratonhnhaké:ton’s best friend that he goes to frequently when he needs to complain about all the ‘advice’ he gets from his dad friends.

An easy way to add Shaun, Rebecca, and Clay are for them to be traveling merchants or perhaps researchers who give information to the flock whenever they pass by. They could be the ones to have the next plot point if you ever need an easy way to push the plot along XD

Ratonhnhaké:ton sings the same lullaby that his mother used to sing to him whenever Desmond has a hard time falling asleep. Later on, the two of them hum it whenever they groom each other’s wings.

[tkwritesdumbassassins]

Massive massive spoilers for Justitia's epilogue below the cut

Never thought I was going to play with the Bleeding Effect, let alone write our beloved Desmond, and yet here I am doing both, eight years after starting this self indulgent fic.

Lemme tell you, keeping it a secret for this long??? Was so knuckle biting hard. And YET HAHAHAH I DID IT.

He—well, more like Ezio—dreamed of his brother again. As far as Desmond Miles knew, he had been an only child. The unknowing son of Assassins, living it up in a glorified South Dakota cult compound called The Farm. Despite all that, every time his ancestor remembered his older brother, a deep-seated adoration wedged itself in Desmond’s chest. A love and respect that had no name that he hadn’t known in real life. And it hurt knowing that the man’s life had been snuffed out too soon. It had been one of Ezio’s greatest regrets in life, and even up into his old age before the birth of his daughter, he thought of Federico constantly, wondering what he would have become, and grieving at it having been stolen. When Claudia had named his first nephew after their sibling, there was pride, joy, but also an immense sadness. At that point, ten years had come and gone, and the idea of their father never meeting their first grandson had left an acidic taste in his mouth. And yet, over the years, Ezio found satisfaction that the young Federico became a man and an Assassin who his namesake would have been proud of. And then there was Yusuf in Istanbul. A skilled master assassin in his own right who embodied the same lazy smile and charm his brother had once embodied. It had been like a wound reopened and scraped through until it was raw and throbbing when Ezio found him dead with a knife in the back. It hadn’t been fair. Correction: it wasn’t fair. Why were the ones he cherished the most taken from him? With the ones responsible dealt with and lying in nameless graves, he grieved much that night. Just like that first night all those years ago. So it was in his dreams that gave Ezio a reprieve. A way to be with his family and friends once more, living in a peaceful ignorant innocence.

[kiatheinsomniac]

For assassin creed, as I need more Desmond Miles in my life and wondering in a hc what it would be to be his twins sister who too ranaway with him from home to start a different life together as normal

But, instead of him being kidnapped and being sent to the simulator it was her because angst and sibling comfort

Notes: This is such an interesting request! I hope that this doesn't come across as a crackfic but honestly I know that siblings would just tease each other even more in a situation like this bc it's familiar and comforting and I didn't want to write that "Hey bro/sis!" relationship that only children manage to slip into. It feels off and unrealistic lol.

Pairing: Twin! Desmond, Twin! Reader

Word count: 0.8k

The Miles twins

Before the assassins had found him, Desmond hadn’t thought too much of when Abstergo’s agents had gone from harassing and stalking him to leaving him alone for seemingly no reason at all. Now he knew. 

They had stopped pursuing him because they had caught you instead. 

He has assumed that you had left the country: the two of you had run away together but you weren’t satisfied with the simple life that Desmond led, you wanted to get far away and start afresh in an entirely new country. You had always dreamed of leaving The States and settling down in some rural place in southern France so he found himself stumbling up to the rooftop for air when Shaun informed him that they’d been tipped off about Abstergo having his twin sister. He should have warned you, should have crossed all of The States and France if he had to in order to make sure you had means to protect yourself. 

Of course they would go after you! Abstergo had wanted him for his DNA and you were the next closest thing that could still give them exactly what they needed! His chest felt tight and he sat down on the concrete of the roof. The city was alive beneath him, playing its multicolor lightshow and its urban symphony. He could barely see it through his tears, streaks of light, could barely hear it over his hammering heart, a detonator. He dropped his head between his knees as he thought back to the shifts you had shared at the bar, the banter, the way you would throw a pillow at him in your tiny shared apartment if he didn’t wake with his alarm, how you wore odd socks more often than not. What were they doing to you in there? Were they hurting you? 

“Hey, come on now.” Rebecca’s voice beside him, a hand resting firmly on Desmond’s shoulder, grounding him, “We’ll start planning a rescue right away, if she’s your family then she belongs here with us. We’ll contact Lucy as soon as we’re able to and we’ll get her out of there. Desmond nodded his head, swallowing hard as he thought over moments with you that had seemed so mundane at the time. Now, with the danger that you were currently in, they were beyond precious. “When you’re ready, come back to the animus. We can help her a hell of a lot more if we have a PoE.” Desmond nodded his head without raising his eyes from the floor. He was worried sick and knew he would need a while before he felt ready to go into the animus. 

He took a deep breath as he heard the door to the roof shut. Rebecca was right: there was a lot more he could do to help you with a Piece of Eden in his possession. 

“Alright, Ezio, let’s see what you’ve got to show me…” 

<><><><><><><><><><><>

In the end, Lucy had managed to snatch you from Abstergo’s HQ before the assassins could discover when and where Ezio had encountered a piece of Eden in his life, Desmond finding himself wandering the streets and canals of Renaissance Venice in his ancestor’s memories. 

The assassins had assumed that you had been doing the same thing but came to find that you had been following the memories of Syrian assassin Altaïr Ibn-La’Ahad, tracking down a piece of eden that he ran into during the third crusade. When Lucy walked you into the apartment above the warehouse that the assassins had set up their temporary base in, Desmond froze utterly when he saw the face that was so familiar to him: the one that almost looked like the one who stared back at him in the mirror but not quite. 

You ran to him before he could react, slamming into his chest and almost knocking him over as you tackled him into a hug. It took him a moment to react before his tattooed arms were locking around you, crushing you to his chest. 

“You’re alive.” He whispered. 

“I had to stay alive.” You murmured out and he cringed at the hoarseness of your voice, the feeling of some of your bones pressing to him in poor health, “Who else is gonna make sure you wake up on time?” He laughed slightly at that and felt how you held him tighter. 

“You should rest.” He murmured, “Then we can talk about what happens next.” 

“I’m staying with you. I need to finish Altaïr’s memories and I’m not letting those bastards win after that they put me through.” 

“Welcome to the Brotherhood. First mission: sleep then get something to eat. For 100% synchronisation, make it a hot meal.” You pulled away from the hug with a smile tugging at your lips, eyeing up the bed at the back of the room. 

“Yeah, yeah, inferior Miles, I got it.” 

“Inferior Miles?” Shaun highlighted. 

“Duh. I’m the better one. That’s why Abstergo wanted me.” You had a content smile on your face as you snuggled down into the covers, feeling that such a soft bed was a blessing after the excuses for mattresses that Abstergo provided their subjects with. “No comments, inferior Miles?” You jabbed. 

“No. You get to be the superior Miles for the next few hours. Don’t abuse your privileges.” 

“Court jester dance. Now.”

“No.” 

“Fair enough.” You closed your eyes and the feeling of safety, a warm bed and your brother being near was comfort enough to instantly lull you to sleep.

[waugh-bao]

Something everybody knows about Charlie is that he was a jazz drummer. The culture of jazz, especially when Charlie was coming up in London, was quite particular; it was very focused on cooperation. There was a lot of free playing and thrown together groups and jamming and solo work, but the reality, and often the ideal, for many jazz musicians was to find or lead a group of their own. For example, Duke Ellington, probably the most famous jazz pianist and composer of the 20th century, played with his orchestra for more than fifty years, and employed a lot of the same musicians for decades. Miles Davis, considered the king of cool, collaborated with pianist Gil Evans for his entire career. And Charlie Parker, Charlie’s great hero, helped to invent bebop with Dizzy Gillespie.

Maybe the best known and loved jazz partnership was between Paul Desmond, a sax player, and Dave Brubeck, a pianist. They first met during WWII, and played, composed, and arranged together for 27 years, becoming so close that Brubeck’s children thought Desmond was their biological uncle. It was only Desmond’s death from lung cancer in 1976 that stopped them from going on decades more. Brubeck continued to perform the music they created together, and at the end of his life could sometimes be seen crying during “Take Five”, his partner’s most famous composition. Doug Ramsey, a jazz journalist who spent years working on the definitive biography of Desmond, revealed that twenty years after his death, “Whenever we talk, Dave says, ‘Boy, I sure miss Paul Desmond.’"

Why am I bringing up this jazz history today? Because these guys, all of them, were Charlie’s heroes. Although he wasn’t in a jazz quartet like he originally planned, the Stones gave him freedom to drum as he saw fit, and imbue rock and roll with as much swing as he liked. They supported every single one of his jazz projects, and contributed as much as he asked, and showed up to cheer him on when they weren't directly involved, and welcomed him back into the fold whenever the Stones started up again.

And for 59 years, Charlie Watts lived his childhood dream; he was part of an enduring, loving, creative musical partnership.

[rosierocks30]

Hidden: CH.17

Chapter 17: Paranoia 

(Eren)

It’s been a few days, since Eren found Eve or Natasha. He had noticed how his girlfriend had been acting strange. She was distant towards him. Eren wanted to know if he had done something wrong to make her feel like that. He thought about it. Deep down he didn’t do anything to pissed her off recently. Maybe she’s just naturally moody. He’ll let her be for now. 

The titan shifter was walking along with the group to the location where Commander Hange and her last remaining soldiers were. The forest was dense. Everyone stopped to see two Scouts soldiers and two men who dressed like Connor. Probably they’re assassins. Connor had mentioned it at one point. 

“Halt. Enemies or Allies?” One of the soldiers said with their rifle pointed at them.

Both Commanders Rico and Nile reassure them. “At ease, men. I’m commander Rico Brzenska of the Garrison Regiment. Your commander, Hange had sent one of her men to find us to work together.” Rico said. 

The other soldier lowered his rifle. “I’m sorry Commanders, we have been on edge for days or weeks. We couldn’t recognize either of you. Please follow us. We’ll lead you to our cabin.” The group followed the soldiers while the assassin hid in the shadows to patrol for any danger. 

Eren used his hood to hide his face just in case. This will be the first time he’ll see some of his old friends and Commander. He knows what’s waiting for him. He deserved it for being misguided. He noticed Eve also hid her face. She had her reasons for being Levi’s granddaughter from the future. Soon, she’ll meet her young version of her granddaughter. 

As the group got closer, Eren felt nervous. He will get a legendary beating from his friends and mostly from his former captain, Levi Ackerman. Sadly, he won’t get to see Armin nor Mikasa since they are in Marley for a mission. One day, he will be reunited with his best friends. 

Finally, they reached the cabin. There are people busy outside. Only a few people  entered the cabin in which he was one of them. Natasha was outside sitting alone on a bench. Before he turned away, he noticed that Ricky was walking towards his girl and sat next to her. This asshole, why all of sudden he decided to talk to her again? Didn’t he distance himself from her? It doesn’t matter right now. Eren may be irritated about seeing Rick being close to his girlfriend, but he has other important matters at this moment. He trusts his girl. That's all it matters. 

Once he’s inside the cabin, Commander Hange was standing in the middle. On her left, a man he never met; but Connor gave a description of William Miles, Mentor of the Assassins. On her right, Jean, his former rivalry and comrades glared straight at Eren. Fuck, here goes nothing. 

“Oh look, the traitor is here. What the hell are you doing here, bastard?” Jean was pissed off when he saw Eren in her view. 

Commander Hange raised her hand to gesture Jean to stop talking before things got ugly. “He’s here because Armin had vouch for him as an ally now.” 

Jean shut his mouth. He doesn’t see why they should trust Eren. Wasn’t he the one of the reasons this nation became shit? Sure, the Templars made the first move to attack Paradis and Marley, but Eren and his precious Jaegerists had secretly worked against them before this sudden war. 

Niles spoke as a reminder why they are here. “In these difficult times, we will need allies to defeat these invaders. We will need Eren the most especially Zeke and the Jaegerists still believe Eren is on their side. This is an opportunity to defeat them and that imposter, Lord Nathaniel. Our true ruler is Queen Historia Reiss.” 

“That’s wonderful news. This will make it a bit easy to make a surprise attack.” Hange said. 

William nodded in agreement. “We only have one of my assassins acting as a spy. So far, he mentioned, the Queen is safe but apparently, my grandson got caught.” He frowned at the thought of his grandson, Levi being kept on the animus machine. The same machine he and his youngest son, Desmond had been on. The side effect was served. The longer you spend time in that machine; you start developing the Bleeding Effect which could lead to sucide from the madness it causes. One of the victims, Clay Kaczmarek or Subject 16 took his life because of the madness of the Bleeding Effect. 

Rico Brzenska was confused. “Your grandson? You mean the Captain Levi is captured? As Humanity’s Strongest is held hostage?” 

Hange and Niles looked at each other then at the new Commander of the Garrison. 

“We have a lot to discuss to catch you up.” Hange spoke. 

Rico looked concerned in what had happened since  she and Niles had been in hiding.  Eren on the other hand was more concerned in the condition about Historia. He heard rumors that the queen gave birth to the baby but it had lived for a few minutes. He doesn’t know if it’s true or not. After all Natasha is the granddaughter of Historia and Levi. Either the baby had survived and was saved somewhere or both Levi and Historia had another child. 

“Let’s all sit. I’m sure both commanders are exhausted from your journey here.” William gestured his hand to lead everyone to the table ahead. 

Everyone nodded then started to walk towards the table. They all sat on to their chairs. Once they are comfortable enough, both Hange and William explain to Rico from Historia’s pregnancy to her secret relationship and marriage to Levi. Finally, they mentioned the birth of the prince. Eren sighed in relief the child survived and now Sasha is protecting him all the way across the world. 

“Huh, the Captain and her Majesty? That’s a pairing you never see coming.” Rico said. She had absorbed what had been said to her. 

“I was actually surprised too when they told me to be their witness. Armin was the first when he accidentally eavesdropped on them.” Hange chuckled from remembering when they came clean to her. 

“Still I didn’t expect Captain Levi Ackerman to pursue a relationship with the queen. He’s so-” Rico was interrupted. 

“Stoic, aloof, cold, and reversed…” Eren  spoke out in a soft tone. “But, I can see why Historia had fallen for him. He’s dedicated, loyal, empathic. He and the queen have so much in common it’s hard to believe if we don’t know them too well.” 

“I’m surprised you’re telling us this especially from your little stunt the last time we have seen you, Jaeger.” Hange raised her brow curiously from his words. 

“I was not myself that day…” Eren looked down in shame. The odd artifact he has in his possession was powerful to control him. He was the thing he despised most. A slave. He still has it but made sure to be very careful so it won’t possess him again. Historia is a beautiful woman. If he was a normal man, he would crush on her like his old former comrades had done. 

Dating or having a crush on any girl wasn’t on his agenda until he met Natasha. Before meeting her, he had dreams about her. That time he didn’t know who she was or what she would be for him. The first dream about her had awakened his sexual desire. He remembered that first dream still. She wore a white see through dress with a flower crown made of lavender and winter roses. The setting was in a dense forest with some sunlight shining through the trees. Eren could feel a heavy mystical energy. He had thought she was some goddess trying to contact him like this Minerva being. He had followed her as she playfully ran and giggled. It sounds so innocent and pure so he thought. Finally, she turned around to face him to speak. 

“If you want me, you have to seduce me…” 

“Show me, how much you desire me...only me.” 

 Then that innocent phase had disappeared when her dress slipped off from her flawless body. Her long wavy chocolate brown hair flowed from the light breeze. Her breasts were covered by her long. The way her eyes stared was full of daring, lust, and passion. He wants to get closer to feel her if she’s real. She had a mischievous smirk while taking a bite of a red apple then a yellow snake slowly slither down from the tree to her shoulder and further between her breasts. 

That’s when he woke up with an erection. It was painful too. Eren shook a bit to focus on why he’s here. 

“I see. You looked like a mad man that day, but if you show any signs of madness or an act of betrayal, I would hesitate to put a bullet in your head but your a titan holder of three so don’t worry, I won’t hold back to make you pay for it, so don’t test me. Do we have an understanding?” Hange glared firmly as her tone was dark. Eren thought Levi was scary but Hange had taken first place in that category. 

“Yes, Commander Hange. I swear on my mother’s soul.” Eren said with a serious tone. 

“But you still have a long way to have our complete trust with you.” Rico added. 

Silence had took over the group. Then Will broke the silence. “We are going to need two more spies for the plan to work.” 

Everyone stared at the Mentor Assassin. They all wanted to take their home back and end the war for good. 

“Armin is going to ask Mikasa to have her convince the nation, Hizuru, to ally with us again. In return, we’ll give them what they want, our resources. Since Marley is under attack by the Templars; Armin vouchers for the new Commander in Chief wants to make a peace treaty and ally with us to defeat this war. Since the three of you are the last hold that represent this nation and Her Majesty’s military, it’s your call. But I would let old grudges go for the sake of this island and the rest of the world. If the Templars win to gain control of this side of the world, the next will be the other side where my home is and the infant crown prince is located.” Will said. 

“Even though we do like the Marleyans for their attacks from many years ago; I will put aside my differences to save my country, my people, and my family.” Niles said. 

Rico sighed. She can’t let her bad judgment ruin the opportunity that will ensure a better future. “I agree. We’ll have a peace treaty and allied with our former enemies.” 

Will turned to his lover to await her answer. “Hange?” 

Zoe Hange was contemplating while tapping her finger on her chin. “Oh I’m all forward with teaming up the Marleyans. So who’s the new guy in power in their military?” She asked. 

“Reiner Braun, the Armor Titan.” Will said. 

Everyone was shocked. The Marleyans would have never chosen an Eldian as their higher up. This explained why all the sudden they want to have peace and have an alliance. 

“So, do we all agree to accept this new alliance with Marley?” Jean said. 

“Yeah, I will use the telecommuter to talk to Armin.” Hange said. 

“Zoe, it's called a laptop.” William corrected her. She chuckled embarrassingly. “Oh how silly me. I’m still getting the hang of it.” 

 “Who do we choose to spy on Jaegerists and the imposter?” Rico said. 

“Hm, Eren can be a double agent to spy on the Jaegerists. For the templars, we have Reggie spying on the templars and the grandmaster. So that leaves for spying the imposter.” Niles contemplated on who they should pick for that part. 

Rico glanced at the window to see certain figures sitting on the bench talking to each other. “We can use Rick and Eren’s girl as spies. One spy for the King and the girl can play the queen’s handmaiden.” 

Eren glanced at where Natasha was outside still chatting with the other guy. He glared at Rico for considering that. 

“No. She’s not part of any of this! Are you trying to put her in danger? Absolutely not.” He was angry for the Garrison Commander wanting to put his Eve in danger. “Can you choose someone else?”

“Eren. Stand down. Remember what I said earlier?” Hange said. This made the titan holder stop talking but the expression was still upset. 

“Take it easy Jaeger. The girl is perfect since she’s not recognizable. Plus, having you and Rick close to her; I’m sure she will be safe. The Jaegerists are allied with the templars and Lord Evans. So having a few more spies in each factor, it will give us the chance to get enough information to destroy them once and for all.” Rico continued.

Eren sat back down trying to contain his anger. This is what he’s afraid of. Having his girlfriend in a dangerous place and being killed. Oh fuck, he hopes it does not come to that or he’ll awaken the Rumbling to have the world wipe. She’s the reason why he’s considering his original plan to be at halt. The thought of losing her will be the same pain as the day he lost his mother. 

While he was absorbed in his paranoia, he didn’t realize one of the soldiers had already called Natasha and Rick to enter. He could hear her light hearted laughter when she made her appearance alongside Rick. He turned his body to peek a glimpse at her. Eren can’t believe how lucky he is to have a woman like her loving him. She may have so many flaws, but she always has a fiery spirit that overshadows her other qualities. His green eyes stared into grey ones. Natasha gave a warm smile then her sight focused on all three commanders, the Mentor, Jean, and him. 

“Rick and Eren’s girl, we have a very important task for the both of you.” Rico said which Natasha became annoyed at how Rico didn’t bother to say her name. Eren had told both Nile and Rico of her name yet only Rico kept calling her Eren’s girl, Girl, or Useless wanderer. 

“What task would it be, Commander Brzenska?” Rick curiously to his superior officer. 

“I’m glad you ask, Private Rick.” The Garrison Commander continued. 

“We want both of you along with Eren to be our spies. All three of you will go undercover but you guys will go into different factors. Eren will go back to the Jaegerists to play his role as their leader. You, Private, will go undercover as one of the king’s trusted guards. The girl will go undercover as one of Queen Historia’s closest handmaidens.” Rico was interrupted by Natasha. 

“I’m not Girl or any of the names you label me. My name is Eve. E...V...E. Eve.” Her tone was feisty. Rico grunted from being disrespected. 

“You should watch your tone when you're speaking to a commander.” The platinum blonde woman glared at the brunette. 

“Thank god you’re not my commander or I’m not in the military when I could get court martial for defining a superior officer.” Eve said. 

“Ok ok both of you. We’re not here to fight, right Commander Rico?” Nile glanced at Rico hoping she doesn’t keep provoking. These two had always argued ever since they met. They just don’t like each other. 

“Eve? What a unique name for a lovely woman.” William said to get Eve on their side. 

“Yeah, my parents were very religious.” Eren knows that’s a lie but she needed to invent some background so suspicious won’t arise. 

“Eve what?” William continues. 

“Eve or my full name is Eveline Potts.” Natasha continued. 

“Your accent is familiar. Are you from the States?” He said.

“Yes, I’m from New Orleans, Louisiana. I was here by accident. I was adventuring in the ocean with my boat then I got caught into a storm that drifted here on this island.” Her tone seemed very convincing if Eren didn’t know the truth. She’s seriously a very good liar. 

William nodded and took her words for it. “Very well. Can you perform this task? I promise you once the war is over. My assassins and I will happily take you back home.” 

“I can. If you need me to be a queen’s handmaiden, then you got the right person.” She made a graceful courtesy that high born ladies do. She had one of her famous smirks. 

Hange was observing. To her, this girl has a bit resembling a dear friend of hers. Maybe the commander is seeing things. Well, it doesn’t matter. They got their spies. 

“Tomorrow, all three of you will go to the capitol and play your part. Assassin Garcia will assist both Rick and Eve on getting into the new positions as royal guard and handmaiden.” Will said. 

Once everything was settled, both Eren and Eve were finally alone in a room where they will rest for the night until the following day. Eren had held his feelings of agreeing letting his girlfriend take the role as a spy. 

“Eve. Why did you agree in taking the task? You don’t have to join the cause or anything. It’s dangerous. You could get caught or worse get killed.” Eren sounded frustrated but also worried. 

“Eren, I know you're upset and worried for my safety, but I can handle this. Please, trust in me? You will be in the same area.” Eve goes to wrap her arms around Eren’s neck as Eren pulls her close to him so he can hold her tight. 

“I’m scared that something could happen to you. I can’t lose you. You’re the one who gave me hope. You’re helped me realize my plans are too extreme and there’s another way. You have already changed this timeline in a good way by saving the majority of the human population. That’s how important you are to me.” His head nuzzled on her chest. His tears fall from being scared of losing the woman he loves. 

He can feel her fingers softly brushing his long dark hair. Eren can feel how relaxed he becomes under her touch. “I will not hesitate to awaken the Rumbling if the world takes you too. 

Natasha bent to eye level him. “Eren, listen to me. You have to promise me not to use the Rumbling at all cost. Promise me, Eren. Promise...me.” Her hands were placed on his cheeks.

He could see how it frightens her that he’ll bring destruction if she dies. He didn’t mean to scare her. All he wanted to wake up from this nightmare and glance at her sleeping form. But this is a cruel world. The only beautiful thing the world had to offer was her. His Eve. His temptress. 

Eren turned around to grab his bag where all his possessions are inside. He dug his hand to find an object. Once he pulled it out, it was a small silver case that has aged throughout time. He slowly holds both hands to place it on his lap. His emerald green eyes stared into steel grey eyes. She was curious why he held that case. Slowly Eren shuffled which Eve stepped back to give him room. The titan holder slowly goes down on his knee. Natasha gasped as she realized what he was about to do. 

“Natasha Eve Ackerman Stark….I can’t live without you. These short weeks had been up and down already. But I know the moment I met you, you were becoming special to me. You’re my light to this madness world. Even if we get separate by time, I will one day find you. We are meant to be. I’m so crazy about you, I kept asking myself what had you done to me?” He chuckled then kissed her hand softly. 

“I know it was not that long I have hurt you. I’m still sorry for the reason that made you cry. I just want to say. I love you. I love you always and forever.” He saw how her eyes got watery then watched how her tears fell from her beautiful face. 

“Will you marry? I want to be your husband. If one of us dies, I prefer I will be the one. I can’t bear the thought of letting time pass and not having you beside me. Be my wife, Natasha.” His soft passionate tone made her sobbing on how his proposal speech was romantic. 

She sniffled and tried to find the words to speak. “Will you still love me even if I had a past that labels me as being an easy girl?” She feels if he wants to marry her, he needs to know her past of the party and sex life she had. “Becaause in my time, I was known to be a party sex addict girl.” 

“I don’t give a shit about your past. That was you before. All I know, I fell in love with a strong, confident, funny woman that is capable kicking my ass if I fuck things up.” He chuckled which she did too. 

“Then yes. I will happily be your wife. I love you 3000, Eren Jaeger.” She whispered to him with a sweet velvet tone that made him go crazy.  He gets up to sit back on the bed but this time; he pulled her to sit her on his lap. His hand still holds the case. He opened the case to reveal a bulky ring that’s shaped like a huge teardrop. The jewel had a perfectly cut shape, real emerald and outside of it there’s small diamonds.

Natasha gasped at how antique and beautiful it looked. How could Eren afford this ring? “Eren this is so beautiful.” Natasha picked it up gently to see inside the ring there was something written. It’s not in Eldian for sure. It looks Turkish. Why does he have an Turkish ring? 

“Try it on. I asked a jeweler to make the band into her size finger. Natasha nodded as she slid the ring onto her finger. It does fit a perfect match. “Where did you-?” Eren interrupted her. 

“It was my mother’s. Long ago before she died. She showed her most valuable possession which was this ring because it was a family heirloom. I don’t remember much but she said many centuries ago. A beautiful woman  who came from a far away land. She ran away from being assassinated at her family’s palace. I don’t know if she was a princess or a bastard of some king. It had passed down through generations of females until I was born. Maybe one day, we’ll have kids and pass it on to them.” Eren explained. 

“The only thing I can’t figure it out is the writing inside the ring along with some sigil it has.” Eren gently grabbed her finger where the ring was. 

“It’s in Turkish. This ring looks so old that you might be a descendant of some Sultana who had escaped. You probably have Turkish royal blood in you.” She teased him. On the other hand, he rolled his eyes. 

“Then my dad must have a thing for royal women.” He said in a joking tone. 

“Well, after all you are his son. You’re forgetting I got royal blood.” She giggled. 

“It’s a good thing I don’t care because I love you for you.” Eren learns to give a soft kiss. 

“Good, because I love you for you. Even if you did try to activate the Rumbling because I know you have a good heart. You’re a good man, Eren Jaeger. Just remember that. “ She leaned in to kiss him more. 

(Mikasa)

Mikasa had been busy doing small errands that Reiner kindly asked her to do. So all day, she ran around the base to send messages to other ranking officers. Sometimes she takes turns to help out the soldiers defending their last frontlines against the enemies. The raven haired woman was so occupied that she forgot to check in with Mentor Miles. Luckily, Annie got her back to check in for her. These several days, the Marleyan soldiers were slowly warming up to Mikasa, Armin, and Annie. Even though Annie is an Eldian-Marleyan, they label her as a traitor in the beginning. The Female Titan holder doesn’t seem to be bothered by being spew insults at first.

One day Armin had enough and defended Annie. Mikasa was shook and amazed how Armin began to gain confidence to speak out. He usually stayed quiet and let things go. She was proud of Armin in what he’s becoming. Annie had been good for him. 

Speaking of relationships, Reiner had been busy being the commander in chief that he rarely had time to spend time with her. It’s fine for her since this is war. They are lucky to be together despite having heavy burdens in trying to stay alive and win the war. Mikasa was now sitting on her desk writing in code to send to Ambassador Kiyomi for help. Armin had told her to have the nation, Hizuru, to help them in time of their need. He was sure they would not reject them because Mikasa was a kin towards the Ambassador. She is an Azumabito as much as she's an Ackerman. 

Her mind shifts to her other estranged kin, Captain Levi Ackerman of the Survey Corps. She may have issues with him due to her being overprotective towards Eren. Other than that, Mikasa was worried about him. News had reached to her that Levi was captured. She wanted to go back to the island to rescue him, but Reiner talked her into some sense. Mikasa is now trying to do her part so the government of Hizuru can assist them to fight off the templars. 

Mikasa sighed once she finished coding her message. The letter was folded to be placed into the enveloped and sealed. She heard heavy footsteps coming towards the room. As the door opened, she turned around to see Reiner. 

“Hey, what have you been up to?” Reiner hugged Mikasa. 

“I was writing a letter to Lady Azumabito for help.” She hugged him back. 

Mikasa gets up to be comfortably hugging her lover. Her cheek pressed on his chest to nuzzle gently. This is one of their rare times to embrace each other. As both couples had been busy doing their part in the terrible war that is happening.  

“Armin already told you?” The blond haired man was starting to kiss her neck affectionately. 

Mikasa let out a soft moan from having his warm soft lips on her skin. They haven’t had this type of contact since they had sex first time with each other. She uses her fingers to run through his golden hair. “Mhm...he did. I- n-need to g-give this letter to be s-send.” 

The Asian-Eldian woman was losing in her thoughts. Reiner had a smirk when he noticed how distracted Mikasa was. 

“Don’t worry about that, baby. It’s a good thing I, your boyfriend is now the commander in chief.” Now his tone became deep with husk in seducing his lover. 

Mikasa was feeling her knees wobbly from the way his tone changed. Her hand traveled down to give a teasing squeeze on his covered manhood. A deep moan came from Reiner when she groped his bulge. 

“I’m aware of your position, Commander.” Now Mikasa uses her seducing tone on him as she’s in control. “Try to be patient for a few seconds, baby. I am going to send this important letter then I’m all yours.” She smirked back at him. 

The female assassin stepped back and went to the desk to pick up the envelope letter. She turned around to give a tender sweet kiss to Reiner. Reiner kissed her back from enjoying the kiss. He saw her walk away from the room to go send the letter. 

Mikasa didn’t take long to come back to Reiner who had been waiting patiently in the room. She opened the door to see him lying on the bed staring up the ceiling.  Once she has closed the door, Mikasa goes to Reiner and straddles on top of him. 

“What have you been thinking?” Mikasa stared at Reiner who was lost in his own thoughts. 

He noticed the weight of her body on him. Reiner glanced to see Mikasa laying her head on his chest while running her finger on his small exposed part of his chest. 

“I’ve been thinking about you. How lucky I am having an amazing strong woman by my side.” He smiled at her. The raven haired beauty blushed from his comment. Her hand already started playing his buttons which some were undone. 

Mikasa slowly rubbed his chest as she leaned in to kiss him again. They let the sweet kiss become passionate and hunger for more. Reiner slowly undoing  her trousers. She kicks off her pants then goes back straddling on his lap. The blonde man hovered his lips on her neck to mark her skin. Her breathing pattern became shallow from attending his lips to her neck. Mikasa loves feeling his lips on her neck. It’s one of her favorites he does to her. She pressed herself down to feel his throbbing bulge as her hips rolled slow and steadily grinding on him. 

Reiner groaned when her body grinded on him. His eyes were dark with lust. The Eldian from Marley stared at his girlfriend while she zones out from grinding fast. The titan shifter groped some parts of her body until he flipped her underneath him. 

“Reiner...I love you.” Mikasa said breathlessly. Her steel colored eyes stared into his amber eyes. 

Reiner gave a soft smile from hearing Mikasa saying those three words. He thought it would take her months or probably the last minutes when he dies for her to say it. He kisses her softly with love and gentleness. 

“I love you, Mikasa.” He responded back. Mikasa was feeling shy as she expressed her feelings towards him. She rarely showed her emotions in general unless she saw her friends happy or in danger. She used to be reckless when it came to Eren but once she realized his feelings will never be mutual, Mikasa slowly disciplined herself to control her emotions. Being an assassin had also helped her with containing them. 

She had removed his shirt as her lips kissed on his bare chest. In return, Reiner took off her shirt too. It didn’t take that long for them to be completely bare nude. Mikasa moaning from his fingers teasingly caressing her exposing body which her skin started to get goosebumps from this intimate pleasure. 

Her body made an arch the more her body temperature had risen. Mikasa placed her palm on his chest to add pressure for him to shift their position back to how they were earlier. She climbs back on top of him, but this time she gently slides herself onto his hardened cock. Both groaned together when their pleasure intensified. 

Mikasa felt his length stretch her walls. She slowly rocks her hips. Her hands were on his solid chest to steady herself. Reiner had already placed his hands gripping on her curves. His eyes can’t stop watching the way her hips roll gracefully. It’s like seeing an artistic dancer blowing away her audience with her skills. He’s a man who got hypnotized. 

Reiner moaning along hers as their pleasure increases more. Her pace began to shift with speed. Now, he started to thrust upward onto her body rolls which she’s bouncing. 

“Fuck Reiner...I love you…” She chanted again and again like a spell while being lost into pounding him on top. She leans in to roughly kissing his lips. Mikasa knows something within her wants to take over. She doesn’t know what it is, but for years she was scared to let that thing take over. 

It’s one of the reasons she tried not to let her emotions get out of control. Sometimes when she dreams, the thing had always taunted her for being blinded with love to a human who had rarely appreciated her enough to be her potential mate. The thing in her dreams had looked like her. The only difference was that her eyes glowed silver. Her smirk looked devilishly. Her look-like stand proud like the warrior she was. Mikasa is the opposite based on whoever that monster was with her face. For years, it had neither given a hint who or what the monster was. When her eyes locked on Reiner officially on the day they spar together, that demon in her had awoken. Mikasa had swept under the rug to deal with that thing. 

Reiner could hear her mumbling ‘I love you’ over again. She’s getting comfortable with expressing her feelings. He thought mentally. He was close to reaching its peak soon. The sound of their wet skin making slapping sounds echoes the room. He won’t be surprised some of the soldiers will hear them. 

“M-mine...mine, mine..” He doesn’t mind Mikasa getting a bit possessive but it doesn’t sound like her the way she said. His eyes took a glimpse to see her beautiful dark grey eyes he adore had become glowing silver. This had raised concerns for him. 

“Mikasa?” He said worriedly. 

Mikasa was still riding on him, but her warm shy smile turned into a devious smirk. Her facial expression had lost her shy, reserve, caring that made her genuine to love. The titan shifter was in a dilemma because a part of him felt a bit scared but also felt Mikasa won’t  cause harm to him. He felt her nail from her index finger tracing his face as if she’s toying her prey. 

“Shhh my darling mate. Mikasa is asleep for now, but don’t you worry about that handsome face of yours for her. She is safe. My host can be stubborn in fighting to keep in control from me.” This new Mikasa rolled her eyes annoyingly at the amount of times both titan and host fought to be in control. She would have been cooperative if Mikasa had embraced who and what she truly is. An Ackerman titan. 

Reiner was speechless. Nobody knows where the origin of the Ackermans is or how they are able to gain superhuman-like abilities to slay titans or massive armies. After all they are legendary to his people in Marley. His mother used to tell scary stories about the mythical clan of the Ackermans. When he went on his mission to Paradis Isle and encountered Mikasa Ackerman, he was scared and worried that their mission would not succeed. Turns out she was just a quiet girl who protected and smothered Eren Jaeger. During his betrayal, his perspective had changed when he saw how deadly Mikasa and Levi were capable of while fighting off them. Yet, he was still astounded how beautiful and strong Mikasa is. She was like a goddess of war raging into the battlefield. 

“Y-you’re not Mikasa?” He said with confusion. This possessed Mikasa let out a velvety chuckled. 

“Oh no, my darling.” she purred. “I’m Styx, it’s a pleasure meeting you, Reiner Braun.” 

“Styx? Like the Greek mythology Styx?” He was still turning to understand what was happening. 

“No, not really. But I picked that name when I was awoken when this woman saw her family being murdered. Poor child. We needed to survive. It’s who we are.” She leaned close to him to take a long sniff. 

“Oh you do smell very nice. I have tried to get Mikasa to open up by taking you as our mate. I swear, do all Ackermans are stubborn and blind to meet their other halves?” She sighed. “Anyways, no where are we? Let’s resume our mating. I loved how you give me euphoric pleasures.” 

Reiner was about to say something but he forgot his cock was inside her as she teasingly rocked her hips. He moans while letting Styx/Mikasa bounce on him. The blonde man let her continue until they both reached their orgasms. Both let out a final loud moan and Reiner cums inside her fill her with his hot seeds. 

“Please don’t be scared of us. We’ll never want to hurt you. You’re ours, mate.” She cupped her hands on his face to kiss him passionately soft. 

Reiner is still grasping on what this Mikasa or Styx had said. He nodded to ensure her, he understood. Styx nuzzled on him while resting her head on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her to hold her tightly. He knew now that Styx is part of Mikasa and he will always be by her side no matter what. It will be strange, but eventually he’ll get used to it and grow to love the titan Styx too. 

(Levi/Arne)

Kahr, Eldia Empire

 One year had passed since their wedding. Arne and Ingrid had moved to a small home in the port town of Kahr. The town was bigger than Leira. After all, there’s many merchants from parts of the world. The trade routes from the Empire to other kingdoms  like Hizuru, France, and Italian Provinces. They rent their home from a wealthy landlord who Arne’s father knew long ago. 

Both couples worked hard to meet their ends. Lady Ingrid was determined to work hard in her job as a barmaid. She struggled at first to figure things out but eventually she got the hang of it. For Arne, he worked in construction for new homes. This was their daily life. For the past year, they had an awkward rocking marriage until a month ago they cave in and confessed to each other about their feelings. Since then their relationship blossom. Today, it was gonna be a busy day.  It was morning, Arne woke up to see his wife not sleeping on the bed. 

“Hm. She’s probably left early.” He mumbled sleepily. He got up to get ready. By the time he was dressed and walked to the small kitchen, he saw Ingrid making breakfast. Usually, she never makes breakfast, only supper. Arne was fine with it. He understood Ingrid was never taught how to be a wife of a mere peasant like him. She was a noblewoman who was betrothed to a prince. 

He was amazed she had prepared a hearty meal for the both of them. Maybe someone taught her how to increase her cooking skill? The grey eyed man made a sound to get her attention. 

“Oh? Good morning, Arne! I hope you slept well. Come sit down. I made breakfast. I have learnt a lot from working at the tavern.” She gave her warm cheerful smile. Ingrid placed a basket of fresh berry muffins. 

Arne was still processing seeing her here in the morning making breakfast. He sat on the chair and glanced at the table that’s filled with two bowls of porridge, a pile of strips of bacon. Inside his porridge, there’s two slices of lemon and drizzles of honey with some brown spice sprinkle on it. He was curious where Ingrid got all these pricy ingredients? They barely could afford a ration of porridge for supper. Yes, that’s what they eat everyday for supper. It annoyed him since he was used to eating a variety of meals from his mother. One time Ingrid was frustrated because that’s all they could afford. Living in a town like Kahr was too expensive for them to live. 

“Ingrid, where did you get all these ingredients? I appreciate you putting your time to make breakfast, but we can’t afford to buy lemons or whatever spice you bought.” He moves the lemons to see better the spice on his bowl.

“I didn’t buy them nor the ingredients to make our porridge more tasty. My boss gave me leftovers because they were gonna go bad by tomorrow so he was kind to give me. Don’t worry, I’m not an idiot to spend our money carelessly.” She gave off  a hint of cynicism. The one thing she doesn’t appreciate from him was his thought of her being an ignorant person. 

Arne sighed and took his spoon to scoop into his bowl and eat the porridge. His eyes widen from the amount of flavor in one scoop. His tongue feels the explosion in his taste buds. He moaned enjoying his breakfast. Once he swallowed the porridge, his eyes glanced at an smirking Ingrid feeling proud of her porridge recipe. 

“Sooo what do you think?” She said. 

“It’s not that bad. So what’s the brown spice stuff you put in the porridge?” He asked. 

“It’s grounded cinnamon.” She said while scoping her spoon into her bowl to eat her porridge. 

“I like it. It’s zesty, sweet but nutty too.” He began to eat a bit more face pace. 

“I’m glad you are enjoying it. Here is a muffin. I just took it out of the oven.” Ingrid gave a warm muffin to Arne. He grabbed it and thanked her. 

“Arne, I need to tell you something. I got a letter from my cousin, the leader of the clan.” Arne dropped his spoon to stare at his wife with worry. “He found us? When did you get the letter? You could have told me when you got it, Ingrid. Damn it. We need to leave right away.” He was panicking. Who knows her family or the king’s guard would be here very soon or they’re on their way here. 

“Please Arne be calm. He’s not going to turn us to the king. He made a promise to me. He said in the letter that he wants us to go see him in my ancestral home in Völse. I know this sounds suspicious but he will keep his honor of not sending us to the king.” Ingrid pleading with her husband. 

“Ingrid, didn’t you once mention that he was vouching for you to be married off with the prince? How can you be sure he’ll not trap us to our doom? I’m more concerned how he found us.” He rubbed his temple spots from the anxious feeling he was getting. 

Ingrid looked down while playing her food. It’s best to come out clean to her husband. “I’ve been keeping contact since ten months ago…” Arne was in disbelief in what his wife had said. 

“Wait what? You have kept this secret for ten months? Why? Do you have any idea you put both of us at risk? My parents' effort to make sure we are safe will be in vain. What has gone into your head, Ingrid?” He can feel his anger rises. He was trying to stay calm and level headed but this is a betrayal to him. 

“I’m sorry….I know I should have told you in the beginning, but I thought you will shut down the idea to have help from my family.” She tried to explain her reason. 

“I might at first but I would have considered it after. What gave you the idea to trust your cousin? We don’t know 100 percent if he’ll backstab us. He didn’t give a damn about his honor when you told me he sly his way to be the leader of your clan when it should have been you to lead.” He pointed it out. Arne gets up. 

Ingrid couldn’t help to let tears slip from her eyes. She knew that her betrayal had hurt her husband. She loves him so much it broke her heart to see the look on his face. She thought it was the right way until for sure her cousin was being honorable this time and will help because they are family.  

“Please Arne understand that I just wanted to know he was being honest about helping us. He regrets pushing me to be married to the prince. He thought he was doing right for our clan’s survival. I was selfish for not understanding how in danger my clan is. I didn’t mean to hurt you..” She sob from the situation she causes in their peaceful marriage. A month ago, they finally confessed to each other and consummated their marriage with love and passion. That result now led her expecting their first child. She just found out last night from a local midwife when Ingrid was having her sickness. 

Ingrid feels if it’s the right time to tell him this news, but that’s what got to their argument right now because she had kept things to herself from him. Maybe telling him that she’s pregnant will calm him down and end this argument. My gods and goddesses, she hates crying in front of anyone especially to her husband. 

Arne had been quiet. He looked down to not aggravate which he sees how Ingrid is crying. He didn’t mean to get over worked up for this secret she told him. It just hurts that the woman he loves doesn’t trust his judgment enough to know the letters she kept in contact to her family. This is one of his issues he had mentioned to her. Trust is very important to him in a relationship. He needs to leave to have time for himself before he says something to make her upset and hurt. He felt ashamed to make her cry. 

“Arne...I also need to tell you something important.” She struggled with her words as he was still angry but quiet. 

“What? Is it another secret you didn’t bother to tell me?” His tone was dry cold that made his wife flinch in hurt for now being labelled as untrustworthy in his eyes. 

“I..I’m with a child. I just found out last night by the old midwife. You were asleep when I got home..I didn’t want to wake you up.” She sniffled while whipping her tears away. 

Arne lifted his head up to glanced at her. He doesn’t know what to say about this news. It should be the happiest moment but all he can think about is the fear they will do something terrible to Ingrid and their unborn child? He’s now a family man. He can’t trust anyone around. What if their child grows up and is being used as a pawn for their political game? He needs to pack up and run away with his growing family to protect them. 

“Arne? Please say something?” She looked scared and worried. 

Arne walked to her and kneel to eye level her. “You’re with my child.” He placed his palm on her flat belly. He made a small smile at the thought his love of his life is carrying his seed, their child.

“How long are you?” He asked. 

“A month exactly. I have been feeling ill and you told me to stay home to rest but I was stubborn to stay so at work; I passed out and the old midwife was there having her meal to check up on me until she found out I’m pregnant.” She said. 

Arne had his hand cup her face while his thumb caressing her soft cheek with dry tear stain. “You really are a stubborn woman.” He whispered softly then leaned to kiss her lips. 

In return she kissed him back. She was glad how his reaction was good about her pregnancy. They pulled away from their sweet kiss. “You married one.” She tried to make a joke. 

Arne nodding then gets up. “It’s getting late. I need to head out to work. I want you to try to rest. Please?” 

“How about I work until noon?” She negotiated. 

“I will stop by at the tavern so we can have lunch together then we come home and talk about leaving town.” He kissed her forehead affectionately. Arne is still hurt for lack of trust his wife has on him, but at this moment. He doesn’t want to distress her in her vulnerable time. 

She nodded in agreement and watched him grab his stuffed then packed some muffins. Probably to share with his worker buddies. 

“Arne, I love you..” She said gently as he was about to exit their home. 

He glanced at her. “I love you Ingrid.” He stepped out of her view and walked to his work. Ingrid sighed and started to clean up to get ready to go to work. 

The rest of the morning goes by quickly and noon arrives. Arne was off earlier as the few homes were built for the day. He was walking on the streets to get to the tavern where his wife works. He entered the place to spot his Ingrid cleaning the mugs. 

Arne went towards the bar and sat on the stool. Ingrid glanced up to see her husband in front of her. 

“Arne! I’m glad you’re here. How was work?” She placed the mug orderly on the shelf. 

“It was well. We finished the houses for today and I got my pay for this week.” He smiled. “How about you? Have you been feeling well with the baby?” His tone was concerned for her well being. 

“Yes, I’ve been ok and our baby had made me get hungry that the cook kicked me out from kitchen duty. That’s why I’m at the bar.” She giggled. 

“I’m happy you’re ok.” He smiled and admired her giggles. 

“Let me get some lunch in the kitchen. Take any empty table and I’ll meet you right up.” She said. 

Arne goes to pick a table to sit and waits for his wife. At the entrance, there were two men with strange foreign clothing coming. Suddenly, the sound of gunpowder was heard and all hell broke loose. The people duck under the tables to protect themselves. He glanced to see his wife frozen in place with two plates of warm meal. She whimpered in terror. Luckily, no harm towards her yet. 

Arne Ackerman saw a knife on the floor and grabbed it just in case. 

“It’s her.” One of the men said to the other. The other unscrolled the parchment to double check the image matched her. 

“Take her. The king has been looking for her.” He mumbled. 

Ingrid uses the plates to throw at them then make a run. When she was about to reach Arne, a third man snatched her. She screamed and struggled to get out of his grip. 

“Arne!” She glanced at her husband. Arne had a fear expression as his worst nightmare is happening right now. 

Arne roared in rage to use the knife and take charge to both of them. He barely made a slashed mark on one of the men’s faces as they screamed in pain. The other was behind him and knocked Arne down unconscious. 

“Take this one too. Since the king wanted to punish him as well.” The men grabbed both Arne and Ingrid. Ingrid curses at the kidnappers while they drag her away. 

Noooo Arne you gotta get up…

Fight or fly…

We’re Ackermans. We protect our family…

Back on the other side of the Animus, Levi was moving his body in despair. He knows the familiar feeling in what Arne is going through. Feeling useless and despair. Dr. Andersen pulled him back to reality as he stopped the machine. 

“I think that’s enough for today. You’re showing signs of the Bleeding Effect.” His tone was concerned for Levi’s well being. 

Levi opened his eyes and gasped from what he just witnessed. He sits up quickly while mumbling with anxiety. “I need to save her. I need to save her, my wife…” 

Davos Andersen observed Subject 18’s behavior. Huh? Very Intriguing. “Historia?” The scientist assumed. 

“Who is HIstoria? I meant my wife, Ingrid. Who are you?” Levi's accent changed. 

Davos assumed Levi is Arne as the Bleeding Effect sometimes can make you believe you’re one of your ancestors. It will come and go unexpectedly, but it doesn’t last long. 

“Arne, everything will be fine. We’ll help get your wife.” He said. This was the only way to calm Levi down until he was back to himself. 

Slowly the male Ackerman blinked his eyes and he glanced around to try to remember what had happened. “What the fuck was that? How long was I blacked out?” He rubbed his head from the intense headache he’s familiar with. 

“Ah, I’m glad you’re back to normal Levi. The Bleeding Effect has got you already. We will take it slow the next session. You can go back to your cell. Guards escort him back to his cell. We’ll continue tomorrow.” Davos said as two guards escort Levi out of the white room. 

It was a short walk since the white room is very close to the dungeon cells. One of the guards opened the cell and pushed Levi in, then cuffed him to the chains as he is one of the dangerous beings to be held captive. Once they chained him and locked the cell, they left the dark dingy cells. On his right, he spotted a familiar figure next to his cell. Pixis was in the cell along with other important rank military men and women from different regiments. Some noblemen were locked too on the other side of this dungeon; there were extra cells but they were less dark and there were brightness from the outdoor ray’s. 

“Captain Levi, I see they pushed your limit to be able to use the machine?” Pixis observed the younger man next to him. 

Levi chuckled darkly. “You can say that.” He started to feel drained from exhaustion. 

“Try to rest, soldier. You are our humanity’s Strongest but also our hope. Especially our beloved queen’s hope. I understand this is bs for you, but you, the queen are our hope. We are inspired that we’ll win this war.” The older general continued. 

“I want to destroy those who crossed the line with us. I missed my Historia and our son..” He mumbled. Levi doesn’t care if the rest of his cellmates know about his relationship with the queen and that they have a child together who is alive and safe. 

Just as he predicted, most heard what he said and started to mumble. The raven haired man scoffed annoyingly then rested his head on the hard stoned walls to try to rest. Soon everything was quiet. He can hear his titan counterpart talking in his mind. 

Very soon, well drained the city with our enemies’ blood. It’s been a long time since we have feast on them.

A/N: This felt like a month had passed that I barely finished this chapter. There were some parts I struggled to where I wanted it to lead. So, enjoy the chapter and let me know what you guys think? Until next time!

[beerecordings]

AND FOR MY SECOND TRICK: Desmond!Jackie has activated the Eye and saved the world. And then he wakes up again. (Immediately after, some years after, back-in-time after, you pick. Bonus points for figuring out how Jameson Jackson, soon-to-be-Mentor of the London Brotherhood and Marvin Kazmarek, Animus Subject 16 might play into this. :D)

They think they can catch him.

He hears the laugh bubble from his mouth, breathy and bright in the chill London air. He leaps forward like a stag over rivers, feeling the world give out and drop away beneath his feet before he tuck, rolls, leaps up again and keeps running. Someone screams behind him, shuddering to a stop before the edge of the building, forced to step back and gain speed again before they can leap over.

They think they can catch him. Ha! He laughs without noise and races, just as silent, across the cold pavement of the rooftops. No one can catch him. This is his home, London his kingdom! This is his fierce little body, with hands that have known the blood of tyrants and legs to carry him for miles, swift as a bird! This is Jameson Jackson, assassin, monster-slayer, the quickest and most blood-thirsty little messenger in all of England. Nothing stops him. Nothing catches him. He is the courier, the Assassin, and right now he has a message to carry.

“Stop!” someone is screaming behind him. “Stop, come back! Please, please!”

Come to think of it, he isn't exactly sure what message he is carrying.

Something important, wasn't it? It must have been. It always is, and he is the deliverer.

Where is he going?

This almost pauses him in his tracks, his sneakers skidding a little on the concrete.

Sneakers? He glances down again, hearing the air puff out of him. No, no, not sneakers, of course not. He doesn't even know what sneakers would be. He's wearing his boots. He's always wearing his boots. He doesn't remember them being red.

“You're going to get hurt!” shrieks his pursuer. “Please stop and listen to me!”

Despite their words, remembering that they're behind him only spurs him on to greater speed. Still, he can't recall where he's going. Or even... how he got here.

Or even where this is.

A shaky breath parts from his mouth. He turns sharply and races over the edge of another building. He's beginning to be afraid, but no matter. No one ever catches him. He'll run until he's gotten away, and then he'll gather his bearings, find his allies, deliver the message. Might be he has a head injury. He just needs to keep running.

A huge gap separates the buildings in front of him. He can't jumps it and land on his feet, but his arms are strong too, and his aim is perfect. He leaps, his arm reaching out –

His arm.

Oh, oh.

His right arm is completely gone.

For a second, the Bleeding Effect is gone with it, and London disappears. He doesn't know what this city is – doesn't know where he is or why – but it isn't London, and it isn't 1868.

And he's not... he's not...

“Jackie!” someone howls behind him.

The empty space where his right arm should be threatens his life. He chokes on a gasp and lets out a small scream – what? I can't scream! My voicebox is torn through! – and scrabbles out with his left arm, barely catching the ledge of the building, wrenching his shoulder hard.

Someone crashes into the side of the wall beside him and pulls themselves up on two strong arms, hurrying to grab his wrist and the stump of his right arm, dragging him up. Maybe they aren't an enemy after all. He's too shaken to protest, anyway, letting himself be hauled up over the ledge.

Cool wind rushes past his hair – hair longer than he remembers it. He grabs at what remains of his arm, whimpering.

Burn scars coat his puckered flesh, ugly and red against white. Tears well in his eyes. His arm... this... this isn't right... what's happened to him?

“It's you, it's you,” the stranger is sobbing behind him, clutching him by the shoulders and burying his face against his back. “I thought you were going to fucking fall, Jackie, Jackie...”

His vision flickers. On the streets below, horses and petticoats, top hats and the stink of iron – and then, a moment later, cars and passers-by in leather jackets or puffy coats, phones in their hands, the world racing on around him, surviving, alive...

“What's happening?” he signs desperately, feeling warm hands rubbing at his shoulders as the stranger cries. “I'm dreaming! I'm dead!”

“You're not Jameson, Jackie,” the stranger whispers, voice broken and tired. “Jackie, it's you. It's me, it's Marv. We're in America. It's 2013. You saved the world, Jackie. You saved us. It's you.”

“This isn't real,” he signs, frantic, lost. “My friends! My family! I have to go home! I have to go back to London!”

“You can talk, Jackie, you can talk,” begs Marv, clinging to him. “Please, darling, find yourself again. Here, look at me. Look at me.”

Long brown hair curls around a round face with huge blue eyes. A soft mouth is down-turned in fear, thick eyebrows drawn back in despair. Earrings and a cloak around his shoulders.

He doesn't even remember him, not really, but the sight of him is like a balm to him.

“Say something for me,” murmurs Marv. “You have to start coming back to me. This was a bad one, Jackie... when you got away, I thought maybe... I'm so glad I caught up with you, fuck...”

He stares at him, reaching tentatively out to touch his hair.

“Marvin?”

Marvin's face melts with relief. He hides his face between Jackie's shoulderblades once again and rocks them together on the roof of the building.

“Jackie, my Jackie, my friend... you're not him. You're you. You're here. You're alive.”

“Oh, no,” he whispers, beginning to grasp the situation. “I'm Bleeding again... enough that I forgot who I was... forgot about...”

He grabs his own amputated arm, breathing through his teeth. Shaken. Exhausted.

“It's okay. All that matters is that you're here. That you remember now. That you survived. She couldn't kill you.”

“Couldn't she?” croaks Jackie, beginning to feel his whole body tremble. He stares down at his one remaining hand.

That's the thing he remembers more often than anything. Jameson's hands.

Waking up from the machine, he would see his palms flex the way Jameson's flexed. Reaching out for help, he would see the long and graceful fingers they both share. Lifting a hand to shield his eyes from the great, bright sun of the world reborn, he sees Jameson's hand upraised before him.

The ghost of him seems to reside within Jackie's skin. Ancestral.

You are in the curves of my jaw, he thinks to the image of himself. The cut of my chin, the flash of my eyes. You are in my bones and flesh.

Dividing the image of himself from Jameson? Impossible.

But it doesn't matter, because he died on the 21st of December.

It happened. He remembers. He was there. And his flesh burnt away and his heart overloaded and electricity and power and light filled him up like a vessel meant for nothing else, and in a second the stress severed parts of his brain and killed him.

Dead.

But they came back for him in time, his friends. Don't ask him how Schneep saved him. He doesn't understand it, and, secondly, he doesn't like to think about his friend sawing his arm off in the back of a van on the way to the hospital.

And since then?

Recovery has been – fuck, if not for the healing in what remains of his arm, he wouldn't call it recovery at all.

Jameson Bleeds through every moment of consciousness. London rises up like a ghost from the city around him. Technology becomes incomprehensible at random moments, the people JJ loved make his heart ache with longing and grief, and most of the time, everything is terrifying and large, and he wakes up from nightmares believing he's Jameson, and comes so close to death he thinks maybe he'll have the chance to truly meet his great-great-great-grandfather after all.

Tears are slipping down his cheeks.

“She did kill me,” he sobs. “It's just still happening.”

“No, Jackie, no,” pleads Marvin, gripping his shoulders. “No. You're here with me. You came back to me. That's all that matters.”

“One day I'll die like this!” He grips his friend's arms in return, pulling them to his chest, and squeezes his eyes tightly shut against flowing water. “I can't even remember who I am! Even if I am alive, I'm dead!”

“Jackie – ”

He tears out of Marvin's arms, leaping to his feet, hanging halfway over the edge of that precipice.

“I'm dead!” he repeats, shrieking, tearing at his hair. “I'm dead, I'm dead! I'm gone! Jackie's gone! There's just memory and loss left! I don't know why Henrik brought me back! I let myself die in that fucking machine and now – !”

“Jackie!”

Marvin tears him back from the edge and they crash to the ground together, panting.

Cold stars overhead. Cold wind through his hair. Cold people moving far below.

Alive because of him.

And this... this was the cost.

His shoulder aches. His body strains from the exercise, weak after weeks in hospital, excruciating and endless. He wants to go back to London. Back to people who never even knew his name. He wants to go home to JJ's daughter and sweep her into his arms. She should be his. She is his. Why isn't she his?

He slumps back against Marvin's body, trembling. Aching. Lost.

He's crying into Marvin's shoulder.

Marvin holds him closer and doesn't move.

“Jackie,” he says, again and again, soft, in his ear. “Jackie. Jackie. Jackie.”

An anchor for this ship, rocking on a hateful sea.

He clutches to Marvin and doesn't let go.

.

In his dreams, he is Jameson, and the world is right around him. The sun gleams. He throws his daughter into the air and catches her in two arms.

Jackie opens his eyes.

“Hey,” murmurs Chase, shifting from his guard duty, reaching out to touch Jackie’s wrist.

Jackie stares back at him, feeling like a dead thing. He doesn’t want to think today. He doesn’t think he can.

“I’m sorry, buddy,” says Chase. “I’m sorry. I know this is hard. But you have to keep fighting. We’re going to make this right again. Okay?”

Going to make the world right again. Going to make this right.

He hears the laugh bubble from his mouth. Chase sits back, surprised.

Nah. No way. He doesn’t buy that shit. Yeah, he saved the world. For everybody but him.

“Can’t fix shit for dead men,” he mutters, and rolls over, and goes back to his dreams.

[joe-mazzello-archive]

Agape - Chapter Six

A Joe Mazzello x Fem!Reader fic

Rating: 18+

Chapter Six

Warnings: Language, Fluff-ish, Absolutely cheesy writing Word Count: 2600 A/N: Definitely didn’t think I would have time to write this weekend and then I wrote this entire thing on the plane. I appreciate the support on this series so far. Especially since I'm relatively new to the scene. Much thanks! Also I'm not a trained writer by any means so apologies for the amount of cheese when they're filming the final scene.

-

You and Joe made your way to a bar on Sixth Street, one of Austin's many nightlife spots. You picked a quieter one, one where the two of you wouldn't be bothered too much. You ordered your first round and took a seat at a high top.

"So are you going to explain why we couldn't go to dinner with Leah and Bri?" Joe eventually asked. You took a sip of your cocktail, thinking about your word choice carefully.

"As much as it might have looked like Leah was inviting all of us, she really was only inviting Briana," you replied. Joe gave you a confused look, the wheels turning in his head. Suddenly he understood.

"Ohhhh! Well that explains their weird interaction in the makeup trailer," Joe said, earning a nod from you.

The two of you chit-chatted for a bit, enjoying your drinks and each other's company. Occasionally someone would come over to greet the two of you, sometimes asking for a picture. You obliged, mostly because you were in a particularly good mood still. Your jealousy from earlier had completely dissipated and you had finally confessed your feelings for Joe. Well, to Leah at least. Close enough.

Joe seemed to notice your chipper mood.

"So you're particularly smiley tonight. I take it you're feeling better?" Joe commented.

"Feeling better?" you asked.

"Well it seemed like during the shoot you were getting a bit frustrated," he answered hesitantly, almost as if he was afraid to bring it up. You felt a little embarrassed, wishing that your feelings hadn't affected your work day so much.

"Yeah, I was kind of going through something personal and I brought it to work with me. Luckily I was able to work through it during the break so that I wouldn't hold us up anymore," you admitted, completely beating around the bush. It's not like you were going to tell him the whole truth.

"Anything you want to talk about? As cliche as it is, you know you can talk to me about anything," Joe said with a soft smile. Damn that smile. You felt your cheeks get warm once again, and you prayed he couldn't see them in the low light of the bar.

You thought about what he said. You were so tempted to just blurt it out right in the bar. Just empty out all of your feelings for the redhead sitting across from you. You opened your mouth to speak but stopped yourself. All of those nasty headlines from your last break-up flashed across your vision, reminding you why you shouldn't say anything. You finally spoke.

"Thanks, Joe. I appreciate it. I kind of talked it through with Leah, so I think I'm fine. But I'm glad to know I can go to you about stuff too," you said smoothly.

"Yeah, it's not a problem. I know before this we were just casual friends, but I feel like we've gotten really close over this shoot. I consider you a really close friend and I hope you feel that way, too," Joe admitted. Your blush only grew.

"I consider you a close friend, too," you replied, trying to will the redness in your face away.

"So....last day tomorrow. You ready?" Joe asked. Damn, you honestly had forgotten that the last day of shooting was so soon. You suddenly thought about the fact that soon you would be going home to LA and Joe would be going home to NYC. You felt a twinge of sadness; while you were looking forward to the distance to get rid of your feelings for Joe, you were bummed that you wouldn't be seeing him anymore.

"Yeah, I think so," you answered, trying not to reveal your sadness. "Shit, this shoot went by really fast."

"It really did. But as they always say, time flies when you're having fun filming an indie film," Joe joked. You chuckled.

"Oh, I don't think I’ve ever heard the full phrase before," you countered.

"Yeah, most people don't know that the phrase was originally said about filmmaking," Joe added. You shook your head lovingly. You raised your glass.

"To a great shoot with a great scene partner," you said, a huge smile plastered on your face as you looked into the eyes of the man you had fallen for.

"Here here," he replied, clinking your glass. You each took a sip of your drink.

You didn't stay at the bar too much longer, considering you both had to work the next day. You closed out your tab before heading in the direction of your apartment. Joe insisted he walk you back to your temporary home, which you appreciated. Once you arrived, you resisted the temptation to invite him up to your place. You exchanged goodbye hugs and Joe left your apartment lobby, headed to his own condo.

You slept soundly, only dreaming of Joe and his damn smile.

The next day arrived and you made your way to the set, a mix of emotions swimming through your head. You were a bit sad that you were going to have to say goodbye to the project as you had made really strong connections with the cast and crew. Plus you were bummed to say goodbye to the character of Ruby, who had become your favorite character you've ever played. You were also a mix of nervous and excited to film the final scene, hoping that the chemistry that you had developed with Joe would be evident as your characters realized they were in love.

You arrived at your trailer to drop off your purse when you noticed a folder on the table with a sticky note attached.

Last minute rewrite. -Julia

You opened the folder to find a rewritten version of the final page of the script. You sighed, hoping there weren't too many changes, as you had worked through the original several times. You skimmed the page, looking for any major differences. Your eyes landed on the final parenthetical.

The pair sit motionless for a few moments. Ruby turns to look at Desmond; she is feeling the strongest feelings she has ever felt in her entire life. Desmond mirrors Ruby, almost telepathically telling her that he is right there with her, flooding with emotions.

You cocked your head. Nothing had changed so far. You continued to read.

Silently, Ruby reaches up to cradle Desmond's face. Desmond reaches up and gently caresses Ruby's face. The two bring their foreheads together and close their eyes, paralleling the moment Desmond found Ruby at her weakest. They pull away slightly, looking right into each other's eyes. A tear runs down Ruby's face. Desmond gently wipes it away, just as before. After a few seconds of this, their lips connect. It is the most passionate, loving kiss we've ever seen. The two pull away, overwhelmed with emotions.

-RUBY: It's you.

Desmond smiles and nods.

-DESMOND: It's you.

Silently, Ruby shifts and tucks herself into Desmond's side, his arm instinctively coming up behind her to pull her in closer. They move as one, settling as close to each other as they can. Their attentions turn back to the television. Tears continue to stream down Ruby's face and she can't help but smile. She has found her true, unconditional love. Fade to black.

You're dumbfounded as you finish reading the paragraph. Before you have time to react, your phone buzzes.

Did you see the rewrite?

Joe. You had to kiss Joe. And not just any kiss. The "most passionate, loving kiss" the audience has ever seen. Normally this wouldn't phase you. You have had your fair share of on-screen kisses before. It was all part of the job. But this was different. This kiss was between you and the man you have been pining over for almost two months.

Yep, just read it.

You sat down on the couch, feeling almost dizzy.

I ran into Julia, she said that she was inspired by our performance in the pills scene. Specifically the part with our foreheads.

You almost laughed. Your performance in that scene was good enough for Julia to rewrite the final shots of the movie. So in turn, this was your own damn fault.

It was powerful stuff. I guess we're just that good.

His response was almost instantaneous.

I told you. Look out for those award noms, ma'am.

This time you actually laughed, shaking your head. Before you could come up with a clever retort, your phone buzzed again.

Want to rehearse it?

Your heart started beating even faster. You were conflicted. On one hand, you found rehearsing with Joe brought out the best performances from both of you. But on the other hand you were still processing the fact that you were going to have to passionately kiss him. You caught sight of the time and realized you were due in the makeup trailer.

Gotta head in for makeup. Maybe we can sneak one in after?

Sure. If not, no worries, I know we'll nail it without a rehearsal anyway.

After finishing in the makeup trailer, you made your way to the apartment set. The food containers and beer bottles were absent this time, since by this point in the film, Ruby has worked through a lot of her self-hatred with the help of Desmond.

You found Joe stretched out on the apartment couch, absentmindedly tapping away at his phone. Once he noticed you, he immediately adjusted to make room for you on the couch. You found yourself more nervous than normal, your heart beating a mile a minute as you took a seat next to Joe. Julia scurried over to the two of you, a huge grin on her face.

"Alright my lovelies. Are you ready?" she asked. You each nodded, both apparently at a loss for words.

You began to work through the beginning of the scene. Ruby and Desmond were seeking solace with each other, Desmond coming off a break-up scene with Talia and Ruby coming off an intense scene between her and her grandparents. The two characters always seemed to find each other in their times of need.

"Talia never loved you. And Dez, you never loved her either. Love doesn't look like that. Not the kind that matters. The kind that stops your heart cold. The true, everlasting love," you pleaded.

"How am I supposed to know when it's that kind of love?" Joe asked, dejected.

"You just know."

And just like that, you had reached the final page of the script.

You stared forward, your heart feeling like it was going to beat out of your chest. After a few moments you turned to look at Joe, overcome with just how strongly you felt for him. He turned to look back at you, his hazel eyes piercing into your soul. You had never seen Joe look at you like that and your breath caught in your throat. You took in the man in front of you, every beautiful feature. Your chest swelled and your stomach fluttered.

You weren't even acting anymore. You were absolutely, ridiculously, completely in love with Joseph Francis Mazzello.

You reached up to cradle his face, just as the script had said. His face had a bit of scruff, and you softly caressed the stubble. His hand reached up and mirrored your action. You leaned into the touch a bit, a soft smile on your face. The two of you slowly moved closer until your foreheads rested against each other. You closed your eyes, taking in Joe's familiar scent, bringing a bit of comfort. You were overwhelmed with feelings again, and the tears easily came. You were so happy to be where you were. You almost didn't care that it was all pretend. You were doing what you loved, telling a story. And you were doing it with a man you loved.

When you pulled away slightly, you made eye contact with Joe. You could stare into his eyes forever. He gently wiped away a tear, a smile appearing on his face. And then you both moved closer.

Your lips touched and suddenly you were kissing him.

Fireworks exploded inside of you. His lips were soft against yours and his fingers slid into your hair as he pulled you even closer. You kissed him hard with every feeling and emotion you had. He kissed you just as hard, massaging your lips with his.

While it was only seconds in real life, it felt like you were kissing him for hours. When you finally pulled away, you were breathless. Joe's eyes were sparkling and his smile returned. You smiled back before speaking.

"It's you." You were surprised with how soft your voice sounded. Joe ran his fingers through your hair again.

"It's you."

After a few seconds, you shifted to cuddle into his side. His arm snaked behind you and he pulled you tight against him. Your head settled against his chest. His hand ran up and down your arm, and you immediately relaxed at the gesture. You felt warm, safe, and happy. One last tear fell as you sighed deeply.

"CUT!" And just like that, the spell was broken. "Amazing work, you two! Let's reset and do it again in a few minutes!"

Joe still hadn't let go of you. And you weren't protesting. Especially since you knew it would be a few minutes until they were ready to start rolling again. You savored the moment, never wanting him to let you go. Neither of you spoke or moved. You debated saying something. As much as you wanted to stay there forever, you wanted to ask why he hadn't let you go yet. Not wanting to ruin the moment, you kept your thoughts to yourself.

Joe didn't release you from his embrace until the makeup artist appeared to touch you both up.

You did the scene a few more times. Each kiss was just as powerful as the first. Julia sang down praises endlessly, only offering small tweaks for each take. And after a few more takes, Julia gathered everyone around. You stood by Joe, who still hadn't spoken outside of his lines.

"Ladies and gentlemen, that is officially a wrap on Agape!" The entire crowd applauded as Julia continued her speech. She thanked the crew for their hard work and patience throughout the shoot. And then she turned to you and Joe.

"And a huge thank you to my two stars, who took two characters who are close to my heart and brought them to life. They put everything into their performances and I'm so thankful for them." The crowd cheered and clapped for the two of you this time. You thanked them all and thanked Julia for giving you the opportunity.

"Thanks again everyone, and we will see all of you tonight at the wrap party!" Julia shouted over the crowd.

The wrap party. Your last hoorah with the group before heading home.

You felt a hand land on the small of your back. You turned to find Joe.

"You're going to the party, right?" he asked, his face unreadable.

"Of course. How else am I going to sing drunken karaoke with you?" you replied, grinning like an idiot. Joe's face lit up and he shot a fist through the air.

"YES! Oh this is totally happening. And I'm not letting you back out this time!" Joe countered, pointing right at you while he walked in the direction of his trailer.

"I won't, I promise," you said with a giggle, already thinking about what song you were gonna sing with him.

[captain-rachel]

Fanfic writer asks: 1, 2, 4, 12, 21, 33, 38, 40, 50

1) How old were you when you first started writing fanfiction?

I think I was in like 8th grade? I'd been reading fanfic for a little while, specificall Vampire Chronicles Fanfic which was my gateway to fanfic. I did the whole "day dream a fic" thing, but don't think I ever actally wrote down any Vampire Chronicles Fanfic. At some point I got into Yu-Gi-Oh! (I honestly don't remember how) and that eventually ended up being the first fic I ever posted, which has all vanished from the internet thanks to archive shennanigans. I know I was writing fanfic by 10th grade, because a while ago I found some old notebooks of mine when I was cleaning my room before I moved out of my mom's house.

2) What fandoms do you write for and do you have a particular favourite if you write for more than one?

Currently I really only write Batman / DC fic, specifically Scilicet... This is mostly real life leaving little time for writing and the popularity of that fic. I've previously written Yu-Gi-Oh!, Harry Potter, Van Helsing, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Doctor Who / Torchwood, BBC Sherlock and Hannibal Lecter (The Books). I've also done a few oneshots, usually crossovers with the above, including Chronicles of Riddick, Welcome to Night Vale and Superatural.

I've currently got a Markiplier Egos plot bunny hopping around my head but don't know if it'll ever get of the "word document with ramblings which are half-outline, half-super lame first draft" stage. I also HAD a Scilicet... / Avengers AU crossover thing, but I have no fucking idea were the doc went. -__-

4) What is your favorite genre to write for?

I don't really have one? I mean I don't really set out to write genres and I'm shit at classifing genres... so probably whatever the hell Scilicet... is?

I used to really like doing songfics, back in my Yu-Gi-Oh! and Harry Potter writing days.

12) Who is your favourite character to write for? Why?

Currently it's Rachel Wayne from Scilicet... who is basically a female version of Bruce Wayne / Batman. I like writing her because she's a fun character to get into the mind of.

In general I'd say I like to write characters who already have a kinda shitty backstory / cannon story and then make their lives EVEN WORSE. For example in any story I ever wrote the Dursleys were physically abusive to Harry Potter. I think I like doing this because I inevitably have whoever I'm pairing them with come and play protector / have them be saved.

21) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire?

So in general I'm... not really a writer person? Like I tend to use the pairing tags on A03 to find stuff and while I'll check an author's other works if I read something I like, I'm not in general a fan of writers? This also extends to books -- I'm a fan of stories / worlds not the writing?

Really I can only think of two writers to point out and both come to mind because of the big fics / big series they have written which I enjoy.

First off is Conference Wives, a fic for the show Numb3rs by dance_the_code. Love the worldbuilding, the way the cannon characters are written and how deep / real the original characters feel. Oh and the fact that after reading this fic I found myself gettig more out of episodes of the show because the backstory / etc that dance_the_code made up just FITS SO WELL.

Second is Visitorverse by yRiona, salanaland and VampireBadger. There's a shortage of Assassin's Creed fic out there which includes Desmond (whom I love dearly) and not only does this focus a great deal on him... but the idea is SO FRICKING COOL! It's kinda a Sense8 thing, where multiple people can communicate with each other while being miles apart, but with the added complexity of the group being split across time as well as distance. I applaud the authors ability to keep the damn timeline straight and have to assume they have some master list of doom because the visits don't happen in the same order for each person who meets up and despite this they keep it easy for the reader to follow.

33) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten?

Oh god there are so many GREAT compliments on Scilicet... there's a lot of people being like "Just had to re-read this again!" a few saying that it's te best fic they've read or their favorite on the site. Then with the updates I've been doing there's like 1 or 2 people on Tumbler who have liked/rebloged every update post I've made.

So it's hard to pick a favorite... but this comment by Messier_47 is pretty amazing:

"I am in total love with this story. I want a tv series with 10 seasons of this. I want movie adaptions, plays, and poetry. I want Marvel to sign a contract with you for this plot cause good lord, i am so in love right now. The absolute mastery of this entire story, where every single little thing is a foreshadowing of something else. "

38) If you could collab with any other writer on here, who would it be? (Perhaps this question will inspire some collabs!) If you’re shy, don’t tag the blog, just name it.

Honesty Idk. I haven't really colabed before, beyond taking requests / having plot bunnies foisted off on me by college friends and once starting but never finishing or posting a BBC Sherlock Colab wit a college friend. Also see the above about not being a "favorite author person"

40) Do people know you write fanfiction?

Yep. Friends know since most of them have me complaing about writer's block /etc with them and we all read fic and rec it to each other. (Also I'm good at finding fic friends lost so they hit me up for that) Family knows because I'll gush to them about comments I get and such. I've even talked about it with some of my coworkers.

50) If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

Probably angst, because I can't seem to write pure fluff and I feel like I'm shirt at writing smut.

[sky-writes-daydreams]

Fictober Day Eight

Prompt number: # 8 and 14

Fandom (AU if applicable): Critical Role C2

Rating: G 

Warnings/Tags: Kind of angsty, Major Character death mention, Spoilers. Yasha and Molly

How long now? Days? Weeks? I had lost track. The pain was too much. To lose another so close to my heart, It was devastating. The friendship we had, The vulnerability I could have with him, I could never get that back. It was lost forever, Just like Zuala. Molly. Zuala. Gone.

I led the storms. I stayed five steps ahead of the Stormlord wandering. Trying to find anything to quell this ache in my chest. I lost track of miles and time so easily like this. Nothing mattered. Just Existence. An empty shell wandering the land in search for something they aren’t sure about.

Finally my body caught up with me. At sunset I had to make camp. A small flat spot under a tree on top of a hill overlooking a dead field. Everything was dry and dead around here. They could use the rain he would bring. In the distance, almost like a rumble in my own mind, I could hear the storm lord slowly making his way towards my camp. I just made sure to lash together some branches in case he came while I slept. I hated waking up to soaking wet hair. I leaned against the tree staring out ahead fiddling with a piece of dead grass between my fingers as my eyes slowly closed.

The birds are what woke me. Sparrows chirping above my head. Warm light touching my skin. I opened my eyes slowly and just stopped. The once dead field was thriving with life. Tall grasses and little rabbits hopped around. Flowers bloomed everywhere, lavender colored with a sunburst in the middle with different types in blues and darker purples. They were everywhere. I got up from my resting spot and walked further out gazing around. I could see the tent, The one the carnival used setting up below near a small creek. What was this? Had it all been a bad dream?

“Mind if I join ya?” I turned quickly reaching for my sword before freezing.

Lavender skin, Red eyes, That insane multicolored coat, that smile. There was no way. He walked closer with his tail flicking out behind him as he stood next to me looking out.

“Big crowd tonight Yasha. It’ll be a show for the books for sure!”

“Yeah. Yeah I guess it will be.” I couldn’t hide my shock. I wanted to touch him but I was so scared. I didn’t want this to be a dream.

“You going to help out tonight? You know I could always use you to make it more fantastic. You are the charm after all.” A subtle wink got a chuckle out of me as he sat down close by. I sank down into the grass near him. He had picked one of the flowers and was rolling the stem between his fingers watching the pattern swirl.

“Too bad you can’t stay huh…?”

“What do you mean?” He smiled then and suddenly the soft grass became dry and coarse. It was all dead again. Then a snap and it was back. I looked around confused and honestly scared. What was going on?

“Molly.. Where the hell are we?”

“The Inbetween. A place for people like me to talk to people like you. Your side can only reach it in their sleep….” He reached into his pocket and pulled out his cards before shuffling them and drew the top one. Instead of the tarot being there, It was almost like a memory. Jester curled up by the fire with her sketchbook open showing off what they had done that day. He pulled another and it was Fjord. He was dreaming as well. A fearless captain on a ship using his magic to keep the seas safe. Caleb was after him, Curled up with Frumpkin and a book open on his chest dead asleep. Nott curled up by his side holding her flask like a stuffed animal. I laughed seeing it before he drew the last one. Beau. She was still awake. Playing with a deck of Tarot cards looking confused and worried. It was the very same deck he had there.

“I’ve been keeping an eye on you all… And asked a favor. You’ve been worrying me Yasha.” He flipped another card and it showed me. I was asleep against the tree but Tears were streaming down my face. I felt then and it was real. Even now my face was wet with tears. Molly smiled then.

“You really do miss me don’t you?” I nodded then before moving closer and reaching out. Molly came into my arms and hugged me as I stopped holding it in. I cried for him. I cried for the loss of my only friend. I cried for the loss of my wife all those years ago. All the pain I had been carrying came out and I couldn’t stop it. Molly didn’t move. Only to lay back and hold me closer, Petting my messed up hair, just being there for me like before. Before all of the death and the trouble and the mess. Just back when it used to be us and the Carnival. He had always been there for me.

Time moved slowly. I didn’t know how long I had been there laying on his chest just holding on. I didn’t want to let go. We just watched the clouds and listened to the wind. Slowly tho, Sunset came and with it, Desmond on his violin. Even all the way up here, We could hear him. Molly sighed then as I got up. He laid there for a second longer.

“It’s gonna be a good Night Yasha…”

“I hope so… Um…” He looked over then and smiled.

“I know better.”

“I didn’t even ask.”

“You don’t have to.” He sat up and sighed.

“I can’t come back… As molly or Lucien.” I nodded then looking down. I felt him get my chin then and make me look up.

“Hey…. Don’t look so down, you silly girl. I never said I wasn’t going to still be around. I can't stay with you physically is all.” He smiled then before kissing my forehead. I laughed then as he knelt down and picked one of the flowers. Same colors as him. He slid it behind my ear then.

“Keep it close and I’ll always be there with you Yasha.”

“Promise?”

“Swear. On my pretty little horns.” I gave him that look before we both ended up laughing. I got up then before hugging him close.

“We loved you Molly… Don’t ever forget that.”

“I won’t. Trust me. Take care of yourself.”

“I’ll try.”

“And try to find the others too… Beau loves you Yasha so don’t let that skip by you.” I nodded then smiling.

“I like her too… So I’ll do my best.”

“Atta girl!” He let me go then with a huge smile before a whistle pierces the air. We looked down and a small black figure was down there.

“Molly!! Come on!”

“I’m coming!” He sighed then and relaxed.

“Vax is new with us. He’s damn good in the air. Makes my sword show a lot more fun and daring. Even better when he adds in his daggers.” I just smiled then before letting him go. I watched as he slowly walked down the hill whistling an old tune before I felt myself getting really tired. I closed my eyes falling back into the grass then not able to stop the smile.

I woke up to a roll of thunder above me. I jerked awake and looked around. It was close to noon but the Storm had made its way to me. The first few drops sizzled and dried as they hit this barren field before it started slowly coming down raising a fog of sorts from the hot ground meeting the cold rain. I sighed a bit just listening before I felt something shift. I reached up into my hair and pulled away something surprising. The flower molly left there. I looked up then before smiling and getting on my feet.

“Thank you…” The loudest peel of thunder hit my ears then as I shifted my sword.

“Forgive me… But I’m ready to serve you again… if you’ll let me.” I stepped out into the Rain then and it wasn’t cold. It was warm. Almost like a hand saying it was ok. I found my little book then and found a safe location for the one molly gave me. I slid it back into my armor over my heart then as I headed off to find where he wanted me to go next. After all, I wasn’t as alone anymore.

The next morning, with no one there to see their wonder, The once dead field has new life. Small and green, still breaking through the softened ground, tiny flowers in all shades of purples and blues with sunbursts in the center bloom across the field. A field of Purple Reins grown in memory of a god who shall forever reign.

[michelles-garden-of-evil]

Episode 7 Review: Flying South Like the Birdies

{ YouTube: 1 | 2 | 3 }

{ Synopses: Debby Graham | Bryan Gruszka }

{ Screencaps }

We open with a conversation between Alison and Raxl about the death of Dr. Menkin. Mostly, this is repeating what we already know for the benefit of the original viewers who missed the previous two episodes, but not entirely. I just realized that Alison didn’t learn of Dr. Menkin’s death in either Episode 5 or 6. (I had to re-watch part of Episode 5 and skim over Debby Graham’s synopsis of Episode 6 to confirm this.) So this is also an important scene for her, one that augments the fear she has begun to feel on the island, even if, unlike Raxl, she does not yet believe in the supernatural forces that make Maljardin, as the immortal housekeeper says just before the opening, “the Garden of Evil.”

We also get an unintentionally funny moment where Raxl shouts “THAT DEVIL!” and the camera quickly zooms in to the portrait of Jacques Eloi des Mondes with some thunder and lightning for emphasis. Then Alison freaks out as she realizes that Jacques put the dream from last episode inside her head. It’s not clear if she is more frightened by the possibility that Jacques will kill her or by the fact that she is sexually attracted to a dead man who looks exactly like her brother-in-law.

Alison: “The dream was so real! This island...it IS evil! I have to get away, back to reason. Away from HIM!"

*flashing lightning and wailing theremin*

Colin Fox, by the way, isn’t in this episode, so, just like the previous Foxless episode, the focus is primarily on the subplots. In the next scene, we cut away to the French Leave Café, where Boring Artist Tim is hanging out with Vangie Abbott (Angela Roland). Now, even though Vangie first appeared on the show in the second episode, I wanted to wait a while to introduce her, mostly because I didn’t know what I was getting into when I started writing these massive blog entries and got overwhelmed early on by all the things I wanted to cover. But now that things are slowing down and she’s starting to become relevant to the plot, I will write a little about her.

Vangie, who owns the café, is a psychic who uses tarot cards to divine the future. She usually provides a lot of detail as to what individual cards mean, connecting them to specific characters and not always using the more well-known trump cards/Major Arcana to represent them. This indicates that Ian Martin probably did a significant amount of research on tarot cards and their meanings before writing about them. (Contrast with Dark Shadows, which mainly featured the same few cards--especially the Tower of Destruction--over and over and usually interpreted them literally.[1] I admittedly haven’t done much research on the tarot (although I intend to in the near future for this blog), so I’ve learned quite a bit about different cards’ meanings from Vangie’s dialogue. There’s a lot more that I could say about her character, but this is about all I can say for now without spoiling anything.

Well, I could also mention her quirky fashion sense and distinctive sing-song alto voice. (That’s Boring Artist Tim on the right, by the way.)

A screenshot of Vangie’s outfit from Episode 2.

Hundreds of miles away, we find the Reverend Matt Dawson at Westley House seeking word of the whereabouts of 20-year-old teenager Holly. He visits her roommate Dinah Heath[2] (Trudy Young), a young hippie who only appears in this episode, but who is the best thing about it. Truth be told, I wanted to write this entire post about just Dinah, but changed my mind when I re-watched the episode and remembered that Vangie was in it, too. Dinah is really fun and probably my favorite of the One-Episode Wonders: characters who only appear in one episode, but who are memorable for the right reasons. Dr. Patton from Episode 4 is another favorite one-episode character of mine, as is Claude from an episode months in the future (although my opinion is largely based on how I imagine him, because so far I have only read that episode’s synopsis and watched the accompanying slideshow).[3] And she totally takes the piss out of Matt when he comes to question her.

At the start of the scene, Dinah is jamming out in her room to some music while smoking. It looks like a cigarette, but it’s probably meant to be a joint, because she acts stoned during the entire scene.

Matt knocks on the door and she jumps off her bunk and immediately starts fanning the air to try to get rid of the pot smell. I love the ironic “please keep off grass” sign.

Matt doesn’t even need to mention Holly for her to know that he plans to ask about her. Dinah just outright says “she isn’t here” while smirking and posing with her hand on her hip.

Cue an exchange full of awkwardly-delivered 1960s slang as Dinah clarifies that he wants to know “why’d she split” and he accuses her of “trying to put [him] on.” I’m not sure how current the slang would have been when the episodes were written, but, considering that the writer was in his fifties at the time, probably not very.

She goes over to her desk to brush her hair while Matt continues questioning her. She denies knowing where Holly is, so he says patronizingly, “I admire your sense of loyalty, but there are times when it could hurt Holly rather than help her.” I might believe him if I didn’t already know that he had the hots for Holly.

More awkward slang. Dinah is still pretending to ignore him.

Matt’s horrified reaction when she says what we know from Episode 3. “Uh-oh,” he’s probably thinking, “she’s onto me.”

Definitely onto him!

Matt so wants the pretty young chicks at Westley House to see him as a groovy, happenin’ padre with all the hip slang he uses.

When he finally gets her to “level” with him, she tells him, “All I know is that she’s flying south like the birdies. Way down south. Has to be. Air alone costs $163.75 [$1,148.24 in 2019 USD, or $1,124.03 in 2019 Canadian dollars].” He asks how she got that money, and Dinah responds, “Saved some. We all chipped in with the rest.” So they all think that he’s a creep, enough to fund her escape from him.

She grabs this huge teddy bear and starts drumming on it. She’s not even trying to conceal that she’s stoned.

She means "vampire” figuratively, but I imagine this line was added to try to hook any DS fans tuning in. It would have admittedly been so awesome if Mrs. Marshall had turned out to be a literal vampire.

Stalker!

We next see Holly at the French Leave Café, trying to order a drink but getting turned away from the bar because she’s underage. How can they even tell? No one cards her before turning her away and Sylvia Feigel looks 27 at the youngest. Hell, I’m 26 years old, look younger than Holly does, and no one ever cards me when I buy alcohol. I could see them turning someone like Dinah away without carding her because she definitely looks under 21, but Holly? Really?

Holly does not look 20.

She has a meet-cute with Tim, followed by a free tarot reading courtesy of Vangie. Without her saying anything about her life, the psychic reveals that she knows Holly’s future:

Foreshadowing!

She also knows that a man has begun stalking her, but not his identity. “What are you running from Holly, and who is the man running after you?” she asks before the scene cuts to Matt telling Elizabeth Marshall that her daughter ran away. Soon after, the conversation shifts to his attraction to Holly. While stalkers are always creepy regardless of their age and the age of the stalkee, the way they talk about Holly makes it sound like the Reverend is interested in a teenager:

Because Reverend Dawson isn’t already gross enough with his stalking, smarmy demeanor, romantic interest in a just barely former ward, and offbrand Reverend Trask accent.

Elizabeth threatens to “fix” both him and Holly and leaves to track Holly down on her own. Then we get a short, unnecessary filler scene of Raxl and Alison before the credits.

In the next episode, THE DEVIL JACQUES ELOI DES MONDES returns and Dan meets up with Vangie to do some more research regarding Jacques’ identity. Stay tuned!

Notes

[1] I’m not disparaging Dark Shadows here. I love both shows; I just wanted to point out that the Dark Shadows writers probably did less research on the tarot. Either that, or they just loved the Tower of Destruction. In any case, they used the Tower of Destruction so excessively that sometimes even thinking of that card is enough to send me into giggling fits. (If you haven’t figured it out yet, I have an odd sense of humor.)

[2] Ian Martin seems to have been fond of the name Dinah for girls and young women. Eight years later in 1977, he used the name again for the 12-year-old protagonist of the CBS Radio Mystery Theater episode “The Child’s Cat Paw,” played by a young Sarah Jessica Parker. It isn’t his best CBSRMT episode, but I still recommend it.

[3] Coincidentally, the episode with Claude also features the introduction of Susan, another Trudy Young character who plays a major role in the show’s final arc. I haven’t seen any full episodes after 130 yet because they’re not on YouTube, but I’ve read all the synopses. Someday I will watch the second Desmond Hall arc, and I can only hope that the Claude scene on the show is as romantic as it is in my head cinema. (It probably isn’t, given that David Wells' other character Cort is hilariously badly acted (if very, very cute), but perhaps Wells’ acting was better when he played Claude.)

ETA 6/22/2020: I just watched Episode 133 this evening (got the DVDs now) and I loved the scene with Claude. I’m not kidding. Surprisingly, David Wells’ acting as both Claude and Cort is decent in the episode--and, after re-watching the first Desmond Hall arc, I can say that his acting improves over time and is even occasionally good. I’ll write much more about Cort later on (this isn’t the right entry for it), but I will say that not all Cort episodes are created equal.

  { <-- Previous: Episode 6, Part II   ||   Next: Episode 8 --> }

[teecupangel]

Idea: Desmond is reborn as someone’s kid, let’s say Ezio this time for fun. He’s reborn like just after Monteriggioni is destroyed and his mother gives him to Ezio and fucks off (or dies). But here’s where it gets interesting. Desmond only remembers part of his future life. Specifically, he remembers approximately 7 years ahead. So as an infant he has the knowledge of a 7 year old from the 20th (21st? I don’t remember his birth year off the top of my head) century. When he’s five he has the knowledge of a 12 year old. Maybe the life he lived as Desmond Miles comes to him in his dreams.

If you really want to hammer in the angst, his mother had been waiting in Monteriggioni for weeks when Ezio returned after retrieving the Apple so she had, in some way, endeared herself to Maria Auditore.

There’s no more bath flirting with Caterina and it will be replaced by Ezio talking to Desmond’s mother about how she doesn’t really expect Ezio to love her but she knows he’s a good man who would care of their child.

Ezio actually promises to marry her so Desmond wouldn’t be a bastard and for her to have a stable place in Monteriggioni.

Maybe love will blossom later on or maybe they’d get a divorce and remain friends, both of them are willing to try at the very least.

But then, Monteriggioni was destroyed and Ezio was too late. Desmond’s mother died shielding her son from falling debris and Ezio barely managed to get Desmond to his mother and sister before they escaped.

The next time he meets Desmond was in the brothel his mother and sister were staying. He starts to become busy trying to take Roma away from the Borgia.

But he tries his best to be with his son, to show that he loves him and cares for him.

That’s why he knows that Desmond has dreams. Strange dreams that he could barely remember. The older he gets, the clearer the dreams become.

Ezio starts to believe that his son is living 2 different lives. When he is awake, he lives the life of Desmond Auditore da Venezia. When he sleeps, he lives the life of Desmond Miles.

Ezio believes that this is the goddess’ way of showing Ezio that everything his family had lost and sacrificed had not been in vain.

Until Desmond starts to tell him how he’s treated as Desmond Miles.

The militaristic way he was being raised…

The isolation…

Desmond Auditore experiences Desmond Miles’ life, an older kid who was being raised to grow into an adult far too early and he feels the pain.

He’s too young for such pain and sadness that he comes to his father for comfort.

And all Ezio could do is comfort his son and feeling powerless because there was no way for him to comfort Desmond Miles as well.

.

(You want Desmond to have the knowledge of an older Desmond and here I am adding angst with the idea of a younger Desmond having to 'remember' Desmond's memories every day sorry not sorry XD)

[paralleljulieverse]

When Julie Andrews returned to England in April 1958 to prepare for the London opening of My Fair Lady, she flew into the eye of a veritable media storm. The phenomenal success of My Fair Lady in America had generated intense public interest and acclaim, and the return of the show’s British stars was greeted as nothing short of a triumphant national homecoming.

While Rex Harrison and, to a lesser extent, Stanley Holloway garnered their share of attention, notably in the more ‘serious’ male-oriented press (Smith, 12), it was Julie who received the overwhelming bulk of popular media exposure. Her status as “local girl turned big star” was the stuff of cultural legend and the mainstream press was eager to mine its fairytale appeal. As discussed in a previous post, Woman magazine, the biggest-selling British periodical of the era, devoted a lavish five-issue celebrity profile to Julie to mark the opening of My Fair Lady where she was explicitly fêted as a real-life Cinderella: “a rather plain little girl…from an English village”, “a dreamy little girl who has made her dreams come true” and found “dazzling fame and fortune” as “The Golden Girl of Broadway” (Reeder, 29). 

When the “Golden Girl” touched down at Heathrow on April 6, “so great was the crush around Julie” that her family had to wait over twenty minutes before they could greet her (Wilcox, 1). Scores of cameramen scrambled to get near her and even the most sober Fleet Street reporters grasped for superlatives. “Julie Andrews, the British actress who went to Broadway to make her name, came back to England yesterday–a STAR,” trumpeted the front page of the Daily Mirror (Wilcox, 1). 

But alongside the breathless allusions to jet-setting celebrity and fabulous wealth––“Julie [is] reported to earn £1,000 a week,” gasped the Daily Mail–– there was a marked emphasis on the untarnished naturalness of “our Julie” and how she remained "just an ordinary girl…who adores her home, her family and the neighbours” (Reeder: 29).  Almost to a person, reporters highlighted her guileless simplicity and girlish nervousness––“’I’m terrified of the opening night at Drury Lane,’ she confessed” (Wilcox, 1)––and profiled her interest in such homespun concerns as childhood sweethearts––"I love him! I love him! I love him!”–– “brothers, aunts and uncles,” and, even, her pet canary:

“It would be an understatement to say that she remains unspoilt by success. This adorably freckle-faced young lady, as simply dressed as the girl next door, made me feel as if we had known each other all our lives and it was hard to believe she had ever moved more than ten miles from home at Walton-on-Thames” (Johns, 35).

Following the airport media call, Julie was indeed whisked home to Walton-on-Thames for a neighbourhood reunion, a pack of camera-clicking newshounds in eager tow. As befitting this most homely of Home Counties stars, the party was a decidedly domesticated affair: fizzy drinks and ale, LPs on a portable player, and a Dolly Varden cake! Julie was even photographed perched on the floral chintz single bed of her childhood:

“Julie Andrews, honey-haired star of My Fair Lady and the toast of Broadway was the toast of Walton-on-Thames, her home town, last night. Nearly a hundred friends and relatives were there at her parents’ home to welcome back the girl who knocked New York sideways…Julie was so busy shaking hands and kissing old friends that she did not have time to change out of the white jersey frock she arrived in. Amid cries of ‘Julie, Julie, you haven’t changed a bit,’ her mother shouted, ‘Telephone, Julie. Quickly now, dear.’ And, as Julie rushed to the phone Mrs. Barbara Andrews explained proudly, ‘Some of the people here tonight were actually at Julie’s christening’” (”Toast of the Town,” 8).

For over half a century, these unashamedly sentimental themes of nostalgic domesticity and familial warmth have continued to define the Julie Andrews star image, cemented with abiding force in her iconic screen persona as the world’s favourite super-nanny and played out since in various forms of repetition, revision and refusal––on-screen and off. It was perhaps inevitable then that when the star herself came to publish her own memoirs in 2008, she would give the book the simple one-word title: Home. 

“I am told that the first comprehensible word I uttered as a child was ‘home.’ My father was driving his secondhand Austin 7; my mother was in the passenger seat beside him holding me on her lap. As we approached our modest house, Dad braked the car to turn onto the pocket-handkerchief square of concrete by the gate and apparently I quietly, tentatively, said the word. ‘Home.’ My mother told me there was a slight upward inflection in my voice, not a question so much as a trying of the word on the tongue, with perhaps the delicious discovery of connection . . . the word to the place. My parents wanted to be sure they had heard me correctly, so Dad drove around the lanes once again, and as we returned, it seems I repeated the word. My mother must have said it more than once upon arrival at our house—perhaps with satisfaction? Or relief? Or maybe to instill in her young daughter a sense of comfort and safety. The word has carried enormous resonance for me ever since. Home.” (Andrews, 1)

Sources:

Andrews, Julie.  Home: A Memoir of My Early Years. London: Weidenfeld & Nicolson, 2008. 

John, Eric. “My Freckled Lady.” Theatre World. Vol. 54. No. 401, June 1958: 35-36.

Reeder, Joan. “Introducing Julie Andrews’ Own Story.” Woman. 26 April 1958: 29.

Smith, Godfrey. "Fair Lady's Man." Sunday Times. 13 Apr. 1958: 12.

“Toast of the Town is ‘My Fair Lady’.” Daily Mail. 7 April, 1958: 8.

Wilcox, Desmond. “I Love Him! I Love Him! I Love Him! Says Julie Andrews.” Daily Mirror. 7 April, 1958: 1

© 2018, Brett Farmer. All Rights Reserved

[daggerandrose]

This month I decided to go over all of the WIPs I’m following. I know most of you don’t like them because it can be frustrating when authors don’t update or when there’s a cliffhanger. BUT all of these fics are written by such talented people are worth the wait. I know first hand how life/stress/mental health/etc. can get I the way of writing/updating… 

SO! Go read and leave a comment or kudos. Comment/kudos= warm fuzzy feelings for the authors which could encourage or inspire them to keep writing.

Enjoy!

cage me like an animal (a crown with gems and gold) by @emperorstyles

It’s 1903, and for the last 200 years, England has successfully roped off their werewolf population into a separate settlement on the outskirts of the Northern wilderness. Since their original separation, the human and wolf populations have remained in harmony, ruled by two separate monarchies.

Louis Tomlinson is the only human alive to have survived a wolf bite unturned and has acted as a liaison between the two Crowns since he was a teenager. However, the harmony of the kingdoms is threatened when the Wolf King Desmond dies under mysterious circumstances and the Crown Prince Harry must ascend the throne, forcing Louis to face a past he would rather forget.

There’s surprisingly not a lot of werewolf fics in this fandom. There’s a good amount of abo, but not just werewolf. This fic is a remedy for the werewolf au drought. Plus the mystery, historical, and royal aspects of this fic is so well done.

Christmas-ing With You by @haydolce

Two writers from Loving Heart Television, the premiere network for holiday romance films, find that, sometimes, love is not only in their works of fiction.

As well as being written by one of my favorite fic writers, this fic is such a slow burn that makes you want to yell “JUST KISS ALREADY” constantly.

Somewhere far away from here by @angelichl

Seven months ago, Harry was attacked by a faceless alpha and forcibly bonded. He lives every day in fear and subservience until four strangers detain the abusive alpha and rescue Harry. The following months contain the struggle and difficulty of recovering from a past so dark he’s afraid to let anyone get too close. That is, until Louis Tomlinson.

Angst, angst, angst. It also has nesting as an element which is something that I think needs to be in more fics tbh.

White Pages, White Lace, Big Hands, Pretty Face by @the-cheshire-pussy-cat

“He touches his sides, his neck, his lips, all the places Harry has just been, all the places that still tingle from Harry’s touch. Such a strange feeling Louis has, so unreal and nerve-racking. He can’t begin to describe what Harry has done to him, what about Harry makes Louis want to call him… Daddy.“

Or, a gratuitous Sugar Daddy!Harry and Student!Louis AU.

This fic is sooo steamy, hot, and addictive. If you love daddy kink, then you should 100% read this.

Throw me to the wolves (and I’ll return leading the pack) by happilylarry

Happilylarry is so good at angst and building tension. Plus is an abo which is one of my fave troupes. All of her other fics are amazing as well.

You Smell Like by mystic_believexx

For her part, Jay took everything in her stride, barely batting an eyelid when Louis came into the kitchen the night Harry left and said, “I seem to have accidentally become the pack’s Alpha”. Ever since Harry left town, Louis’ found himself with the role of pack Alpha, despite being human. So he can’t wait to hand over the reins when Harry returns. Except, it’s not quite that simple…OR The one where Louis is the Alpha’s mate and everyone is aware of it except for Louis and Harry. Go figure!

Werewolves, abo, magic, mystery… what more could you ask for in a fic?

Where You Lay by @ham-palpert

When Louis’s upcoming heat threatens his success at his new dream job, he asks the best (and only) person he can think of to help him through it: his best mates’ best mate, Harry Styles. Harry reluctantly accepts, and together the two navigate a strange friends with benefits relationship that quickly turns complicated.

Obviously, I have problem with abo fics. I’m addicted. I just recently found this one and fell in love. It’s one of those fics were you want to yell at H/L to get their shit together and just confess their feelings for each other already. I can’t get enough of abo fics.

Swam Across Oceans by @conscious--ramblings

Harry is in LA missing Louis. Louis is in London missing Harry.

Harry is already itchy with need, and there is a full week left until he sees Louis. That just gets worse when a mystery package arrives with a set of instructions that will set him even more on edge.

Louis thought it would be easy, teasing his boy from 5380 odd miles away, but it turns out it's harder than he ever imagined.

Long distance may be a bitch, but reunited sex is magical, especially after days of constant teasing.

This one is hot. Harry basically gets a sex box every day leading up to when Louis comes back home. It has a good balance of smut, fluff, and establish relationship.

Love’s Stories Written in Love’s Richest Book by @larrywitch

Born from a long line of witches, Louis Tomlinson works in a library that happens to hold some of the most powerful books in the world. From the time he was born, he dreams of a strange man with green eyes, always just out of reach.

Suddenly, his dreams get less foggy, and a stunning man named Harry Styles enters the library and turns Louis' life upside down.

Or: Louis is a witch, Harry is a witch, there's a lot of longing, sweet spells, reincarnation, and a rude cat named Shadow.

A (somewhat) Witches of East End AU

Soulmates, magic, familiars, and maybe a hint of enemies to lovers? Yes, please.

[eleiszon-blog]

Extradimensional Chess (3/3)

The following is an analysis of the various players and moves made throughout Part 18, the final episode of The Return. It is the third entry in a trilogy, the prior entries covering Lodge-relevant events from Parts 1, 2 and 17. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- We open on Mr. C seated in the Waiting Room. His eyes have partially reverted to their earliest cloudy state. He is in flames. I believe this fire is the ultimate, primordial state of a doppelganger and, indeed, all negative energy. A long-troubled David Lynch script, Ronnie Rocket, has had many of its ideas recycled into The Return. One of these ideas makes no explicit appearance but I believe it exists within Twin Peaks. “The entire stage is filled with a wall of fire 200 feet high.  Within the fire are thousands of souls screaming out silently . . . only the roaring of the fire.” - The first line of the script of Ronnie Rocket. I believe this fire of voicelessly wailing souls is what Mr. C shall join. Windom is there too. Chet Desmond, I believe, is also there. And I believe that fire is the metaphysical core of JUDY, the purest formation of negative energy. 

Mr. C is gone. We see MIKE salvage his gold core and, with a spark of e-lec-tri-city, join it to a bit of Dale’s hair to forge a new Dougie tulpa. This was at Dale’s request to satisfy Janey. Nice guy.

We cut to Jackrabbit’s Palace. Dark, empty. Dale was escorting Laura. She vanished. He is alone now - but not for long.

The Waiting Room. MIKE and The Arm. “Is it the story of the little girl who lived down the lane?” -- Audrey said something similar to this earlier. This post isn’t about Audrey but I think that line has to do with her. Another entry, that. 

Dale moves into a hall and beckons a gateway open. He has grown powerful in the Waiting Room. And with the scheming doppelgangers and BOB gone, he finally can go out.

Here in Glastonbury Grove, he meets up with a relieved Diane. This is the ‘curtain call’ at which he promised to meet her. I also believe this moment echoes across time: The appearance of the curtains at this moment is what Hawk witnessed back in Part 2. “Someone is here.”, MIKE said. It was Hawk.

“Almost exactly 430 miles.” -- 430 miles out is where Dale will cross. The Fireman told him this in a dream back in Part 1.

Diane is uncertain and urges pause to consider their options. Everything could change. Dale knows this. He is resolute. They kiss. They continue onward.

At a hotel, Diane witnesses a duplicate of herself. At this point, I must diverge briefly into The Secret History of Twin Peaks and more particularly the life and Work of Jack Parsons. Per the text, I believe Jack Parsons was destroyed by the fires of JUDY via the Black Lodge. He is in the howling wall with Windom, Mr. C. and others. Now, Jack Parsons once initiated a ritual he believed would summon an ‘elemental’. Immediately afterward, he met a red-haired woman whom he regarded to be this entity. For Twin Peaks’ purposes, I believe Diane to be such an entity, her hair deliberately reminiscent of the Waiting Room’s red drapery. I do not believe that this was always the case but that she became ‘touched’ by otherworldly influences throughout her ordeal shelled up as Naido. I believe that while Diane herself remains human Diane -- is it future or is it past -- this duplicate is a ’yet-to-come’ entity, wholly of the Other Place. As Jack Parsons did, we may call her the Scarlet Woman.

Cooper invites Diane to join him in the motel. The door is marked 7. As I’ve noted previously in an entry about Jeffries’ path through FWWM and The Return, 7 symbolizes seeking, searching for truth...In that entry about Jeffries, I offer that the numbers associated with Jeffries increase as his ‘rank’ in Twin Peaks’ world increases. He is ever more enlightened and knowing. This same applies here: What Dale does in this room will elevate him to a higher space than where he was before.

Dale and Diane lay together. He lies largely still while she seems to be desperate to obscure his face. Some believe this to be residual trauma about Mr. C violating her. I think it is simply the ever-encroaching memory shift. Diane is beginning to forget the ‘unofficial version’ and so what was a consensual matter with a man she loves is slipping into a strange and much darker territory as those memories fall apart.

The distress plain on her face is her realization of this slipping remembrance, her desperation to try to remember despite it, her shaky determination to continue despite the mounting fear of this ‘stranger’ taking her and the fear itself. Yes, this is a bad scene for Diane. Why does it occur? As noted previously, she has been marked by the energies of Another Place.  What is the end result of intercourse, generally speaking? Sperm shot into a womb which births new life. Diane’s ‘marking’ by those energies occurred during her stay in the Generator, a negative-creative space which (at least at first) bordered the positive-creative space of the Eternal Ocean. Metaphorically and also metaphysically, Diane is a womb comprised of pure creative energies. Add DNA (courtesy of Dale) to that and you get one hell of a conception.  “When will the new universes be born?” “Soon...” - That’s the ending dialogue of Ronnie Rocket. I find that idea fits exactly well here. 

Dale awakes in a different bed. He is alone. He finds a letter addressed to ‘Richard’ from ‘Linda’. She does not recognize him anymore. He should not look for her. Indeed, Diane’s memory faltered fully in the end and she has no recognition of this man anymore nor even who she was -- she’s “Linda” now. Or is she? Truthfully, I believe as Diane’s memories of the ‘unofficial version’ gave out, she lost the names she knew for herself and Dale, merely writing whichever ones came to her mind instead. Hm? Yes, my interpretation of this sequence is kinda seriously dark, thanks for noticing. I didn’t go looking for it to be though!

Dale exits his room. The hotel at large has changed as well. It bears some slight similarity to the hotel area of The Dutchman’s but I checked. They are not alike. 

Dale goes for a drive. He passes a diner which invites ‘Eat at JUDY’S!’ Many view this as a sign that this is a pocket dimension devised by JUDY to trap Dale. I do not follow. However, it may well be a sign that this space is innately nearer to JUDY. (Remember, the Fireman-JUDY conflict is one of balance VS. lack thereof.)

In the diner, Cooper deals with some antagonistic fellows in a decidedly un-Zen manner. Much has been made of this. I consider it only a personality-shift of some degrees. I once equated this change to processes of alchemy, the final stage of which is a balancing of opposites. He is more aggressive as Mr. C yet he operates slowly and repetitively as Droolcoop. The balanced result is a no-nonsense character of highly deliberated method. He’s still a good guy but he has much less patience fucking around with the bad guys. THIS Dale would’ve slapped Albert in the face for his uppity attitude back in season one.

After taking care of business, he obtains the address of an absentee waitress and goes on his way. Also he fried a gun which is pretty cool.

He heads toward Odessa. Texas. Yes, apparently, his new motel was also wildly relocated because he’s not too far from Texas now. Outside the waitress’ house, a familiar pole. I’ve detailed the meaning of ‘6′ before as relating to base, Earthly affairs. Carnal, animal. Black Lodge. The other numbers - with the 6 included - also match coordinates to the former site of the Trinity test from Part 8.

Now we meet Carrie Page. She doesn’t know a Laura or a Leland but “Your mother’s name is Sarah” gives her pause. Dale wants to take her to her mother’s house and, hey, she needs a ride out of town anyway.

Many note a golden ball of some sort in Carrie’s lawn. Dale’s latest pin is a golden circle as well. Perhaps a clue, perhaps not. As I’ve said before, I believe Cooper is becoming “the magician” of MIKE’s poem but perhaps in time he’ll also become one of the Dreamers living up in the Theatre.

A man dead on the couch. Headshot. A mantel with an animal statuette. “Woe to the ones who behold the pale horse.”

“I tried to keep a clean house...” This line plus her frazzled state, the ‘pale horse’ symbolism, the dead man... It reeks of a domestic abuse scene. The dead man was her husband. He was another BOB too, I’d wager. Carrie copes with bullets instead of cocaine.

The ‘Palmer’ house. And here, I’d like to note the number on the house. 708. Let’s travel back to Part 1. For a moment.

The sound of this device is the sound of Laura vanishing from the woods. Once upon a time, a particular breed of these machines was built to operate at 78 revolutions per minute. They were even called 78s. 708...0 is often a mathematical placeholder. Drop it. 78. Put it back in. 708. The Fireman’s line planted this connection: If you hear that sound, “find Laura” (per not-Leland’s instruction), go to 7-8(708). He even had a contingency plan if Laura were to be snatched - which she was.

Alice Tremond lives at 708. Sarah Palmer who? She bought the place from a Chalfont. We know Tremond to be a name borrowed from humans, as per the actual Mrs. Tremond living in that trailer Donna visited in season one. ‘Chalfont’ though is purely referential to that grandma-grandson Lodge couple. JUDY sent them to stall up whatever the Fireman had Dale set to do here.

“What year is this?” - Dale’s own memory of the ‘unofficial version’ may be slipping a bit here, or he may just be getting...Fuzzy. To reference Ronnie Rocket again, if I may, the key conflict of that script is reaching the villain at the center of a great city. The closer one got, the more difficult it became and the more ‘bad electricity’ would disorient and deter them. I consider this exactly the nature of what is troubling Dale in this scene. His ‘current’ is picking up static. Interference because yes, he is closer to JUDY.

Carrie gazes up at the Chalfont house. An echo from within: ‘Laura?’, Sarah Palmer calls upstairs to her absent daughter, from a world which no longer is but is still taking its sweet time to fade entirely. Carrie screams.

The lights go out. Inside the house but also, it seems, in the very world. It resembles, to me, the state of The Dutchman’s in The Return. And indeed, it is exactly that. From the Chalfont presence, the temporal anomaly (’Laura?’, straight out of the pilot), the darkened visual...It all connects. Indeed, we see the Dutchman flee from the store as Dale goes to meet Jeffries. If the Dutchman has taken hold of Sarah, the old Palmer house would fit for a new domain. After all, Sarah was overseer there as the Dutchman oversaw the store.The monsters set up shop here now and they clutched the fading strings of the ‘previous’ world to flood the old horrors back into Carrie’s head. But...Is it a bad ending? Well. Not really. I believe that Dale successfully peeled back another layer of this world’s cosmology. He is one ‘universe’ closer to a true face-to-face with JUDY. I think I used an onion metaphor earlier? Still counts. One more layer done. In accomplishing that, he won a battle --- but JUDY and her servants made their own moves and kept the war ongoing. 

We end on a slowed repeat of the Blonde Girl whispering to Dale. I believe the whisper is different again. An unfortunately scrapped line from the store meeting in FWWM has the Little Man proclaim “Any everything will proceed cyclically”. That is what she whispers now because, yes, there must be more cycles -- but, eventually and with perseverance, he will locate JUDY. Every cycle will bring him closer -- Jeffries’ “This is where you’ll find JUDY” is accompanied by an 8, suggesting that Dale requires one more cycle (his hotel room was marked by a 7, being the place where he would transition to that level) to achieve the Blue Rose’s aim of locating JUDY -- and thus every cycle will meet fiercer and more desperate resistance and offense...But he has made progress and can continue to do so. And so, it is a “victorious” ending in a small, optimistic-for-the-future way. Yet he must continue to fight, to struggle, to endure until he finds JUDY at the center of all. Until then, as the Fireman tells him...

[simptasia]

yall got any,,,, Lost character headcanons

my jaw has dropped because that is the broadest question that can be asked of me. like, anon, whoever you are, i love you but for the record im like:

why yes anon i do have lost character headcanons! oh boy! oh golly do i!

jack: 

bi and autistic (thinks he’s straight and neurotypical, the sad bastard. his dad has tried to smoosh him into roles he’s not meant to be. jack gleans that there’s something “wrong” with him but doesn’t understand what’s doing on which just causes more stress and self-loathing)

actually its amazing how much of jack these two things explain because… yeah… that about sums it up

kate:

bi and she’s known it a while (and her and cassidy were literally dating)

it’s implied several times but isn’t made obvious so i guess it’s a headcanon that kate was sexually abused by her bad dad

pregnant with jack’s kid after they banged pre-ajira flight

her and claire are gonna raise kids together and get married

bipolar disorder

can’t fucking cook

has a fear of domesticity due to her upbringing and the fear that she’ll end up like her mom (and this is a big part of her issues with relationships in general. that and she feels she doesn’t deserve to be happy)

it’s canon that she projected her Bad Dad onto sawyer, so logically… naturally… i can assume she projected her Good Dad onto jack. sad

charlie:

bi and a trans man (known he’s a boy since he was 5. his family were very accepting of this. it’s other people in life that were not. like at school)

histrionic personality disorder

it would require several pages of meta/headcanons for me to explain how fucked up charlie is so just trust me on this. quick summary: internalized biphobia, transphobia, slut shaming, catholic guilt, self-harm and a need for attention so desperate it could cause physical pain. this is just the cake, over it is an icing of pride and faux-confidence to cover it all up

well that’s uncomfortable, anyways: fave colour is red, has a sweet tooth and his fave treat is banoffee pie (such a manc)

claire:

bi, didn’t know it until kate

autistic (yeah this legit started because “i think jack is” and thinking about it, the irony of christian shephard spawning autistic kids amuses me)

claire is into astrology so i apply that kinda lifestyle to her in general. like tarot cards… palm reading… yoga… herbal teas. that sorta thing

hurley:

his neurodivergence is canon but never stated, so based upon his symptoms (paranoia, delusions, hallucinations, etc) i feel he has a fictionalized version of schizophrenia. i also think he has depression

i also think he has some kinda learning issue, because he’s consistently shown to have issues spelling things (words involving “y”s trouble him)

i hc him straight but funny story, it was actually an accident: i was thinking about these things and was like “well, to me, it really does feels like hurley just likes girls in that way… whats the word for that?” and i legit paused for several seconds until i realised the word for that is straight. like, i literally forgot straight people existed. so, yeah, just wanted to clear that up

desmond:

he genuinely doesn’t know he’s hot (and that’s terrible) due to ugly duckling syndrome. he was very greasy and oily as a teen. bad hair, bad skin. but over time he got hotter and des just feels the same

bi (discovered things about himself in the army)

bipolar disorder

i got him as a theatre nerd during school all cuz of a throwaday line

his dad abandoned him and his three younger brothers. their mum was already dead at this point

grew up knowing spanish too cuz of his mum. oh and des is the same race as his actor and that’s final (half white, half peruvian)

he wanted to be a doctor to earn a better living for his little bros, but gosh help him, with all he had to juggle, he just didn’t have the grades

daniel:

besides his brain damage issues, also autistic and has anxiety. also synesthesia (of the sounds as colours and colours as sounds variety)

canon dan killed many rats for experiments, MY dan loves rats and has hundreds of them as pets (named after classical musicians) thank you lost for limbo verse, where all my dreams can come true

bi demi (des was his bi awakening)

this is canon, but really fucking loves driveshaft. this boy can say some shit about their music that’d make most people go It’s Not That Deep but fuck the haters, dan has a lot of passion and love in his heart. including for punk-classical experiment fusion, apparently… what a blessing

he’s so touch/affection starved, please help him

also i’ve pretty much given him triciophilia

vegetarian due to texture issues and inability to digest meat

he doesn’t know how to drive

charlotte:

autistic (random i know, i promise this makes sense to me)

bi and in limbo in a polyam relationship with dan n miles

limbo char has a hairless cat named jean luc

speaking of which, huge sci-fi nerd, espech star trek

in my heart i consider all lost ladies to be feminists in one way or another, but char is the most likely to go off about it (aka she’s Outspoken)

think of a language, char can read n speak it. okay this is Kinda canon, but char isn’t a very well explored character so here i am, super exaggerating little canon things. implied to be kinky? now hella kinky. couple mentions of chocolate? she ADORES chocolate now. yep

miles:

depression

aro bi

canon gave me “he’s sad so he’s shitty to people” so i really, really ran with that. because that is a character type that really interests me

it’s so hard for me to talk about miles headcanons without going into paragraphs of emotional analysis meta but im gonna try and keep this short: always had issues connecting with people, victim of ableism, has never had a romantic relationship (and he’s put himself into a ‘’fuck love/romance, it’s bullshit’’ mentality), didn’t finish high school, did porn once, hates his powers but can get some money outta it

post-finale eventually he and richard will be a thing. it’s not easy, but they get there. marriage and two kids. claire’s their surrogate

loves ghostbusters

also thinking about it, i’ve made miles the kinkiest. hardcore masochist (and i did this before i noticed miles jokingly going “this is hot” to kate choking him so like, go figure)

i see a punk boy with 15 face piercings, i think… he didn’t stop there

also i have him have tattoos too but i dunno what

i value friendships i imagine miles having with the women of lost. like naomi and char on the boat and in limbo. juliet during dharma times. kate and claire post-finale. like in my mind these are great and interesting friendships/dynamics and i love them but they got no coverage in canon. like, imagine any of these things. it’s so good??? so good

richard:

he and isabella were trying to have kids for years but she miscarried several times, so that’s why they didn’t have kids

he was 40 when his aging stopped. i chose this age so i could have a nice easy number to do maths with, since richard was ageless for 140 years, making him 180 by the finale. feels comfy. (also nessie was 39-42 when he played richard so this choice isn’t like, insulting)

yes he is 150 years older than miles and he feels very guilty about that

bi demi

the actual biological dad to daniel faraday. richard was detached and celibate for a hella long time until 1962 wherein he and eloise started to have an affair (because of love, richard is a good boy) which promptly ended when their son literally died right in front of their eyes

also they buried him

loves roller coasters and gardening

he doesn’t live in the Real World but he isn’t clueless about how things are changed. richard’s basically just an old guy. he’s evolved as people have evolved. eg. no, he wouldn’t be carrying any leftover sexism, racism or homophobia from the 1800s. that’s not how that works. he used to have these prejudices but he got better as society got better

in general it’s a helluva thing that richard bore witness to humanity changing so rapidly. like, 1867 to 2007? HOLY SHIT thats huge! both the technological and social aspects would’ve been enormous. so logically richard would have to be very adaptive to cope with this (it helps that he seems inclined to do whatever he’s told, even to the point of irrationality)

over time, see so many people die, he decided to emotional distance himself from the rest of the others

im missing, like, a lot of people. and like, theres more. of course there’s more. i write lost fic in my head all the time, i just never get it down. but uh anyways i lost interest in writing this clump of lists a while ago. so here ya go

also 

simptasia.tumblr.com/tagged/lost+headcanons

simptasia.tumblr.com/tagged/lost+text+posts

and also my search function. have fun

[apicturewithasmile]

LOST rewatch (season 4):

[follow the entire rewatch-tag here]

episode 1 – The Beginning of The End:

Okay I have ABSOLUTELY forgotten about this season opening

Hooooly fuck like seriously I had forgotten about Hurley’s entire s4 plot apparently

Bloody Ben tied up to a tree is my aesthetic.

Sawyer offering to talk to Hugo about Charlie, Sawyer being there for the people he cares about, SAWYER HAVING THE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT HE DESERVES!!!! *cries forever*

Ben making fun of Jack while at the same time acknowledging that Kate was right? Abso-fuckin-lutely my jam!!!

Wait… where did John go?

Oh there he is.

“All I have ever done has been in the best interest of all of us.”

Has a season opening ever been more heart-breaking than this one?

Ben: “Jack, with your permission I’d like to go with John!” – Jack: “He’s all yours.”

DANIEL!!!

episode 2 – Confirmed Dead:

I can have never enough John-standing-in-the-rain-with-his-angel-smile-and-predicting-the-weather scenes

“The bullet went in one side, came out the other. I’d probably be dead if I still had a kidney there.”

“Karrrrrrllll. Now if you gonna sleep with my daughter I insist you call me Ben!”

When did Sayid get a haircut?

VINCENT!!! I feel like we haven’t seen him at all throughout season 3

Frank Lapidus – the best pilot in the world.

Oh Ben, as if John would really kill you.

episode 3 – The Economist:

That episode already?!?! Ooookay!

Naveen Andrews is so beautiful even khakis and a polo shirt can’t make him look bad yet that straightened hair?!??! That’s a problem we gotta talk about!

I’m very bitter that their “Berlin” doesn’t look like Berlin at all. You already know just by the café they’re in: that could be anywhere but sure as hell not in Berlin! Have you ever seen a café in this entire city that has... wallpaper? Matching furniture? Windows??!?!

Oh God that distorted voice of Ben on the phone so we don’t know it’s him is so unnecessary. They could have done the scene without adding the voice of the person on the phone.

The fact that the first time we see off-island Ben is in a vet clinic gives me the strong headcanon that he always wanted to become a veterinarian and now being off the island he’s finally able to #live his dream.

And he’s back at it with that Voice. Which is hot but... really... you still know it’s Michael Emerson.

episode 4 – Eggtown:

I cannot believe that’s a title of a LOST episode

“So here we are just like old times except I’m locked up in a different room and you are more lost than you ever were.” – fuuuuuck him up Ben!!!

Kate’s lawyer is hot

“If I was a dictator I would just shoot you and then go about my day.”

episode 5 – The Constant:

Fjsjfjggs this episode is one of the best ever!!! (as Desmond episodes usually are!!!)

Sayid and Desmond are the curlepower couple I always needed without even knowing I needed it

2.342 – I don’t think I ever noticed that’s The Numbers

The scene with rat Eloise makes me think of Flowers for Algernon

episode 6 – The Other Woman:

Oh, a rare scene of Ben being not injured, cut up or bruised <3

“This didn’t have a number on it, did it?”

#Locke sarcastically gives Ben a dollar

Honestly… I don’t get how there are people who actually doubt that Charles Widmore is the evil incarnate.

It’s the dinner scene!

episode 7 – Ji Yeon:

Oh fuck…. Is that THAT episode. The one where we end up thinking Jin’s dead?!?!? I’m not ready, okay!?!??!

Oh Bernard….

Who needs a heart, right?

episode 8 – Meet Kevin Johnson:

From all the sorta-stand-alone episodes this is by far the best.

I remember the first time around I didn’t like Michael that much until that episode came and I was like “woah, fuck yeah Michael, I miss this guy so much!” which is great because in every rewatch I did since I could appreciate him so much more

“and it’s getting betteeeeeeer…”

Sayid: You’re working for Benjamin Linus?!?!?!??!?!? – Me: Don’t throw stones, my guy!

Noooooo, DANIELLE!!!!

episode 9 – The Shape of Things to Come:

 I have never been more #not ready

Oh right… they had to take away Ben-screentime for that useless plot about Jack’s appendix -.-‘

Oooooowwww I forgot about Ben’s cut off shot gun. Exactly my jam!!!

fhfosdlfnfafdöa another incredible appearance of the phallic baton

“I need you to stay close to me.” – yeah, I also need John to stay close to Ben! Thanks for catering to me.

Goodbye @ all the red shirts on John’s team

Dean Moriarty! So subtle!

So… Ben did a time jump of about 9 months, do I get that correctly?

I also didn’t remember that is was this episode in which Ben “recruits” Sayid

Fuuuck Ben looks so good with that sand coloured scarf – really makes his eyes pop

I cannot believe the last thin Alex had to hear was that she means nothing to Ben. I hope she knows he was lying because that’s what he does!

And I am so here for Ben switching to auto pilot and I’m convinced he never leaves this mode until Hurley asks for his help in the finale

“He changed the rules.”

Ben’s off-island hair is the reason I am attracted to men!

Sayid calling him “Benjamin”? My jam, too!

That smirk on Ben’s face after Sayid agrees to do the dirty work for him? Here for it!

SMOKEY!!!!

Can you tell this is my favourite episode by the amount of bullshit I have to say about it?!?!?!

FUUUUCK THAT SEXY LONDON OUTFIT SIGN ME THE FUCK UP!!!!

The red shirt, the leather gloves… THE HAIR!!! Fuuuuuuck meeee!

“I’m here, Charles, to tell you that I am going to kill your daughter. Penelope, is it? And once she’s gone, once she’s dead then you’ll understand how I feel and you’ll wish you hadn’t changed the rules.”

fuck me this is the best episode ever I wanna cry myself to sleep because it’s so good an Michael fucking Emerson killing the careers of every other actor in the history of motion picture is what I’m here for

episode 10 – Something Nice Back Home:

Why are Sawyer, Claire and Miles surprised to find Danielle and Karl dead? Like… Alex said it through the walkie that they got killed and they all heard it, didn’t they?

Seriously Jack, stick your hero complex where the sun don’t shine – nobody needs it right now

Oh Jack stfu you never learn, do you? Let Kate have a private life in which you are not the centre of her attention

“I’m the one who saved you.” – yeah if it hadn’t been for Sawyer jumping off the helicopter you’d all be dead now so SHUT YOUR FUCKIN MOUTH!

episode 11 – Cabin Fever:

Oh of course…. John is getting another flashback <3 I was trying to figure out what the fuck kinda flash forward he’s gonna get but it’s not a flash forward at all – it’s about baby John!!!

Ben watching John as he sleeps? Be still my fucking heart.

“I used to have dreams.”

“These things had to happen to me. That was my destiny. But you’ll soon understand that there are consequences to being chosen. Because destiny, John, is a fickle bitch.”

Hurley sharing his chocolate bar with Ben is the beginning of a wonderful friendship

episodes 12-14 – There’s No Place Like Home:

It’s okay. They’ll think that we’re in shock.” – “We are in shock, Jack.”

Sawyer carrying the baby - *cries forever*

Fuck yeah @ Sun buying her father’s company

That Hawaiian birthday party for Hugo tho

“I wasn’t being entirely truthful.” – “When were you ever entirely truthful?!”

Ben surrendering himself to Keamy breaks my heart. Ben doing the right thing for once fndangdgn

“How many times do I have to tell you, John, I always have a plan.”

Also when Ben says “Anthuriums” you can already see in John’s face that he doesn’t have a fucking clue what Ben’s talking about.

Terry O’Quinn is looking hotter with each passing season tbh

“Well, Jack… you put a gun to my head and pulled the trigger. I was hoping we could let bygones be bygones.”

“It’s not an island. It’s a place where miracles happen.”

John and Ben acting like an old married couple.

Ben is regretting big time that he even started the whole magic box metaphor because John just can’t let it go

“If you mean time-travelling bunnies, then yes.”

Sawyer jumping off the helicopter djfgoidshgsdogh

Jack just cannot live with the fact that Sawyer’s been the true hero in this situation

I hate Keamy so fucking much

I mean… I know Ben wasn’t doing the right thing by stabbing him but I support him getting his revenge for Alex. Keamy deserved to die for what he did! And likewise, Ben didn’t deserve to be a better human just yet for what he did.

And yet here I am also supporting Sun for wanting to kill Ben. This show really fucks with my moral compass. But then again… Benjamin fucking Linus is my fav character so what moral compass are we even talking about?

“Well, John, I really wasn’t thinking straight. Sometimes good command decisions get compromised by bad emotional responses. I’m sure you’ll make a much better job at separating the two and I ever did.” – I’M NOT CRYING, YOU’RE CRYING!!!

“Goodbye, John. Sorry I made your life so miserable.” – HELP ME!

“I hope you’re happy now, Jacob.” – I can’t anymore, okay, it’s all too intense and I am feeling too much for Ben right now. This guy will be my demise!

I’m not ready for that Desmond and Penny reunion scene

BEN IS LOOKING SO FUCKING HOT!

“It’s dark, Jack. Very dark.” – oh the shade