#the more my guesses about where this is all going have changed

[elryuse]

Suzy x Male Reader

Smut, Actress has an infatuation with a younger childhood friend

Always On My Mind

Bae Suzy X Male Reader

Tags : Childhood Friends, Vanilla Sex, Extra Intimate and Passionate, Sweaty Sex, Kissing, Romance Words : 4,982 Words

You always called her Noona. Ever since you could remember, Suzy was a constant in your life—a beacon of warmth and comfort. She was two years older, always smiling, always teasing, and always looking out for you. Her black hair framed her delicate features, and her voice carried the kind of assurance only an older sibling—or someone who cared deeply—could muster.

"Noona, wait up!" you called as she walked ahead of you on the way home from school.

Suzy turned, her lips quirking up into a soft smile. "You’re too slow, Y/n. At this rate, I’ll have to carry you home!"

"You’re only saying that because you like showing off," you grumbled, your face flushed from running to keep up.

"Maybe," she said with a wink, "but it’s my job as your Noona to take care of you, isn’t it?"

That’s how it had always been. She was the big sister you never had, but somewhere deep down, you also knew she was something more.

It was a Saturday afternoon, the sky overcast but dry. You were sitting in the small park near your neighborhood, kicking pebbles while Suzy sat on the swing beside you.

“I have to tell you something,” she said softly, her voice lacking its usual playful lilt.

“What is it, Noona?”

She looked at you, her dark eyes full of something you couldn’t quite place—regret, sadness, and maybe a touch of excitement. “I’m leaving. Next week.”

The words hit you like a punch to the chest. “Leaving? Why?”

“I got accepted into an idol training program in Seoul,” she explained, her hands gripping the swing’s chains tightly. “It’s a huge opportunity for me, Y/n. You understand, right?”

You didn’t understand. Not at all. All you knew was that Suzy was leaving, and the thought of it made your chest ache. “But… what about us? What about… me?”

Her expression softened, and she reached over to ruffle your hair. “Oh, my little Y/n. You’re going to be just fine. Besides, I’ll come back to visit when I can. And you’ll call me, right?”

“I guess…” you muttered, not meeting her gaze.

“Promise me, okay? Promise me you won’t forget about your Noona.”

You nodded reluctantly. “I promise.”

Life went on, as it always does. Suzy’s absence left a void in your heart, but you buried yourself in school and later in college. Occasionally, you’d hear whispers about a girl group named Miss A on social media or from classmates, but you never connected the dots.

Until one evening, your phone buzzed with an unfamiliar number.

“Y/n-ah, it’s me.”

The voice was unmistakable. Your heart skipped a beat. “Noona?”

She laughed softly, the sound like a melody you hadn’t realized you missed. “Still calling me Noona, huh? I’m glad.”

“Where have you been?” you asked, your voice shaking slightly. “It’s been years.”

“I know, I know. I’ve been so busy, but I debuted! I’m in a group now—Miss A. Have you heard of us?”

“Yeah… I think I’ve heard your name around,” you admitted, scratching the back of your head.

“You’re so hopeless,” she teased. “Anyway, I’m back in town for a bit. Let’s meet up. I want to hear everything about you.”

You agreed to meet at the old park where she’d told you she was leaving all those years ago. It was late afternoon, the golden light of the setting sun casting long shadows on the ground.

When you saw her, your breath caught. She was still the Suzy you remembered, but something about her had changed. She carried herself with a quiet confidence now, her long hair flowing in waves down her back. Her smile, though, was the same—warm and inviting.

“Y/n,” she called, waving at you.

You approached hesitantly. “Noona…”

She grinned. “Don’t look so scared! I don’t bite.”

“It’s not that,” you said, trying to compose yourself. “It’s just… you look so different now. More… grown up.”

“And you’ve gotten taller,” she teased, poking your arm. “But you’re still the same shy little kid I remember.”

The two of you sat on the swings, just like you had all those years ago. She told you about her life as an idol—the rigorous training, the long hours, the moments of doubt. And you told her about college, about your struggles to figure out what you wanted to do with your life.

“You’ve done so much, Noona,” you said, admiration clear in your voice. “I’m proud of you.”

Her expression softened, and she looked at you with an intensity that made your heart race. “And I’m proud of you, Y/n. I always knew you’d grow into someone amazing.”

As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting the park in twilight, Suzy turned to you, her expression serious.

“Y/n, can I tell you something?”

“Of course, Noona.”

She hesitated, biting her lip. “I’ve missed you. More than I thought I would. And seeing you now… it feels like I’ve been searching for something, and I finally found it.”

Your heart pounded in your chest. “Noona…”

“I know it’s selfish,” she continued, her voice trembling slightly. “But I don’t want to be just your Noona anymore.”

The world seemed to freeze. You stared at her, your mind racing. “What are you saying?”

She reached out, her fingers brushing against yours. “I’m saying I want to be more than just your childhood friend. More than just your Noona. I want… I want to be with you.”

The air between you crackled with tension, thick and electric, as Suzy’s words hung in the twilight. Her fingers lingered on yours, soft and warm, and her gaze was unyielding, locking onto yours with an intensity that made your chest tighten.

“Noona,” you whispered, your voice barely audible over the faint rustle of leaves in the evening breeze. “I… I don’t know what to say.”

Her lips curved into a small, nervous smile. “You don’t have to say anything, Y/n. Not yet. Just… let me be honest with you for once.”

She shifted closer on the swing, her knee brushing against yours. The contact sent a jolt through you, but you didn’t pull away. How could you? This was Suzy—your Noona, the girl who had always been there, even when she wasn’t.

“All these years,” she began, her voice trembling slightly, “I convinced myself that I was just your Noona. That I was looking out for you like a sister would. But deep down, I knew it was more than that. Even back then, when we were younger, I felt something… something I couldn’t name. And now, seeing you again—” She paused, her breath hitching. “Now, I can’t ignore it anymore.”

Your heart raced, pounding so loudly you were sure she could hear it. “Noona, I…”

“Shh,” she murmured, placing a finger against your lips. Her touch was feather-light, but it silenced you instantly. “Just let me finish.”

Her hand dropped, and she leaned in, her face inches from yours. Her scent—a mix of citrus and something uniquely her—filled your senses, dizzying and intoxicating.

“I don’t want to leave without knowing,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “Without knowing if you feel it too.”

The world seemed to shrink until it was just the two of you, suspended in this moment. You searched her eyes, dark and endless, and saw the vulnerability she was trying so hard to hide. It mirrored your own—the fear, the longing, the hope.

“Suzy,” you said, her name slipping out before you could stop it. It felt strange, foreign, to call her anything other than Noona. But at the same time, it felt right. Necessary, even.

Her lashes fluttered, surprise flickering across her features. “You called me by my name.”

“Yeah,” you admitted, your voice shaky. “Because… because you���re not just my Noona. Not anymore.”

A soft gasp escaped her lips, and her eyes glistened with unshed tears. Before you could process what was happening, she closed the distance between you, her lips crashing against yours in a kiss that was equal parts desperate and tender.

It was messy, awkward even, born from years of suppressed feelings and stolen glances. Her hands tangled in your hair, pulling you closer, while yours found their way to her waist, clutching her like she might vanish if you let go.

When she finally pulled back, both of you were breathing heavily, your foreheads pressed together.

“Y/n,” she breathed, her voice trembling. “I’ve wanted to do that for so long.”

“Me too,” you admitted, your voice rough with emotion. “But I never thought…”

“I know,” she said, cutting you off with another quick kiss. “Neither did I. But now that we’re here… I don’t want to waste any more time.”

Her hands slid down to your shoulders, then lower, tracing the contours of your arms before settling on your chest. You could feel the heat of her skin through the fabric of your shirt, and the sensation sent a shiver down your spine.

“Suzy,” you said, your voice cracking. “Are you sure about this?”

She nodded, her expression serious. “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”

With that, she stood, taking your hand and pulling you to your feet. The park was empty now, bathed in the soft glow of streetlights. She led you away from the swings, toward the familiar path that wound through the trees.

Your steps faltered as the implications of what was happening began to sink in. “Wait, Noona—Suzy. Where are we going?”

She glanced over her shoulder, a mischievous smile playing on her lips. “Somewhere private. Unless you’d rather stay here?”

Heat flooded your cheeks, and you shook your head quickly. “N-no, private is good.”

Her laughter filled the air, light and carefree, and she tightened her grip on your hand. “Good. Follow me.”

The walk to her apartment was a blur. Your mind raced, torn between disbelief and anticipation. This was Suzy. Your childhood friend, your Noona. And now…? Now, everything had changed.

By the time you reached her doorstep, your nerves were frayed, your pulse thundering in your ears. She unlocked the door and pulled you inside, kicking it shut behind her. The room was dimly lit, the only illumination coming from the soft glow of a lamp in the corner.

She turned to face you, her breath catching as she studied your face. Slowly, she reached up, her fingers brushing against your cheek.

“You’re really here,” she murmured, almost as if she couldn’t believe it herself. “And you’re not running away.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” you promised, your voice steady despite the storm raging inside you.

A slow smile spread across her lips, and she stepped closer, closing the gap between you. Her hands slid up your chest, then around your neck, pulling you down until your lips met hers once more.

This kiss was different—slower, deeper, more deliberate. Her tongue teased at your bottom lip, and you opened for her without hesitation, a low moan escaping your throat as she deepened the kiss. Her body pressed against yours, soft and warm, and you wrapped your arms around her waist, holding her close.

When she broke the kiss, both of you were panting, your faces flushed. She took your hand and led you to the couch, pushing you gently onto the cushions before climbing onto your lap. Her knees bracketed your hips, and her hands rested on your shoulders as she gazed down at you.

“I’ve imagined this so many times,” she confessed, her voice husky. “But it’s nothing compared to the real thing.”

Your hands found her hips, gripping them tightly as you looked up at her. “Suzy…”

She leaned down, her lips brushing against your ear. “Tell me what you want, Y/n. Tell me, and I’ll give it to you.”

Your breath hitched, and your grip on her hips tightened. “I want you,” you admitted, your voice raw with need. “All of you.”

A shiver ran through her, and she pulled back just enough to meet your gaze. “Then take me.”

Her breath caught in her throat as your hands tightened around her hips, pulling her closer until there was no space left between you. The air around you felt electric, charged with the intensity of your shared desire. You could feel the heat radiating from her body, the way her chest rose and fell with each shallow breath. Her dark eyes locked onto yours, wide and searching, as if she were trying to pierce through every wall you’d ever built. And for the first time, you didn’t want to hide. Not from her.

You leaned in, your lips brushing against hers in a feather-light touch that sent a shiver down her spine. She tilted her head, her mouth parting slightly, inviting you in. But you held back, teasing her, letting the anticipation build until it was almost unbearable. Her fingers dug into your shoulders, urging you forward, but still, you lingered, savoring the way her breath hitched when you finally closed the distance.

The kiss started slow, tentative, as if you were both rediscovering each other after years apart. Her lips were soft, warm, and achingly familiar, yet they carried a sweetness you hadn’t noticed before. Your hands moved from her hips to her waist, sliding up her sides until they found the curve of her ribs. She gasped into your mouth, her body arching into your touch, and you took the opportunity to deepen the kiss.

Your tongue brushed against hers, coaxing a low moan from her throat. She tasted faintly of honey and something uniquely Suzy—something that made your head spin and your pulse race. One hand tangled in her hair, gently guiding her head to the side as you kissed her with a hunger that surprised even you. Her fingers slid from your shoulders to the back of your neck, holding you close as if she were afraid you might pull away.

But you had no intention of stopping.

“Noona,” you whispered against her lips, your voice rough with need. “I’ve dreamed of this.”

She shuddered at your words, her grip tightening on your neck. “Y/n…” Her voice was barely audible, trembling with emotion. “I never stopped thinking about you.”

Her confession shattered whatever restraint you had left. With a growl, you pulled her onto your lap, her legs straddling your waist as you claimed her mouth again. This time, the kiss was anything but gentle. It was fierce, demanding, filled with all the longing you’d bottled up over the years. She matched your intensity, her nails scraping lightly against your scalp as she kissed you back with equal fervor.

One hand slid under the hem of her shirt, your fingers skimming the smooth skin of her back. She arched into your touch, a whimper escaping her lips as you traced lazy circles over her spine. Your other hand moved lower, gripping her thigh and pressing her closer until you could feel the warmth of her core against your stomach. The sensation drew a groan from deep within your chest, and you broke the kiss, resting your forehead against hers as you tried to catch your breath.

“Suzy,” you murmured, your voice hoarse. “I need to see you. All of you.”

Her cheeks flushed, but she didn’t hesitate. Slowly, reverently, she reached behind her back and unclasped her bra, letting it fall to the floor. Then, with a shy smile, she pulled her shirt over her head, revealing her bare skin to your hungry gaze. Her breasts were perfect—full and round, with nipples already hard and begging for attention. You couldn’t resist reaching out, cupping one in your hand and rolling your thumb over the sensitive peak. She gasped, her head falling back as pleasure coursed through her.

“Y/n,” she breathed, her voice trembling. “Please…”

You didn’t need to be told twice. Leaning forward, you captured one nipple in your mouth, swirling your tongue around the hardened bud. She cried out, her hands tangling in your hair as you teased her mercilessly. Your free hand roamed over her body, exploring every inch of her as if committing her curves to memory. When you switched to her other breast, she squirmed in your lap, her hips grinding against yours in a way that made your head swim.

“Noona,” you groaned, pulling away just enough to look up at her. “You’re driving me crazy.”

A wicked smile spread across her lips, and she leaned down to whisper in your ear. “Then let me take care of you.”

Before you could respond, she slid off your lap and dropped to her knees in front of you. Her hands moved to your belt, deftly undoing the buckle before pushing your pants and boxers down your hips. Your cock sprang free, hard and aching, and she wasted no time taking you into her hand. Her touch was firm but tender, her fingers wrapping around your length and giving you a slow stroke that had your eyes fluttering shut.

“God, Noona…” you groaned, your hands gripping the edge of the couch.

Her lips curled into a smirk, and then she leaned forward, taking the tip of your cock into her mouth. The heat of her tongue was almost too much, and you had to bite back a moan as she swirled it around the sensitive head. Her hand continued to stroke you as her mouth worked its magic, alternating between sucking and licking until you were trembling with need.

“Fuck, Suzy,” you growled, your fingers tangling in her hair. “You feel so good.”

She hummed in response, the vibration sending a jolt of pleasure straight to your core. Then, without warning, she took you deeper, her throat relaxing around you as she swallowed you whole. Your hips bucked involuntarily, and she looked up at you with wide, innocent eyes—a stark contrast to the dirty things she was doing with her mouth.

It was too much. The sight of her on her knees, her lips stretched around your cock, her dark eyes locked onto yours… it pushed you dangerously close to the edge. But you weren’t ready to finish—not yet. With a shaky breath, you pulled her off you, ignoring her pout as you lifted her back onto your lap.

“My turn,” you said, your voice thick with desire.

Her breath hitched as you flipped her onto her back, spreading her legs and settling between them. Her panties were soaked, clinging to her wet folds, and you couldn’t resist pressing a kiss to the damp fabric. She whimpered, her hips lifting off the couch as you tugged her panties aside, revealing her glistening entrance.

“Y/n,” she pleaded, her voice trembling. “Don’t tease me.”

You smirked, dragging your finger through her slickness and drawing a gasp from her lips. “But Noona,” you murmured, circling her clit with your thumb. “Watching you squirm is my new favorite hobby.”

Her response was cut off by a strangled moan as you leaned down, replacing your thumb with your tongue. The taste of her was intoxicating, sweet and tangy, and you lapped at her eagerly, drinking in every drop. Her hands fisted in your hair, holding you in place as you explored her with your mouth, alternating between broad strokes and focused flicks of your tongue.

“Oh God,” she cried, her back arching off the couch. “Y/n, I’m—I’m—”

She came undone with a cry, her thighs clamping around your head as waves of pleasure washed over her. You continued to lick her through it, gentling your movements until she collapsed back onto the couch, boneless and gasping for air.

When you finally pulled away, she looked up at you with hooded eyes, her chest heaving. “Y/n…” she murmured, her voice weak but filled with affection.

You kissed her softly, letting her taste herself on your lips. “Noona,” you whispered, “I love you.”

Tears welled in her eyes, and she pulled you into another kiss, pouring all her emotions into it. When you finally broke apart, she wrapped her arms around your neck, holding you close.

“Take me,” she whispered, her breath hot against your ear. “Make me yours.”

Your heart raced as you positioned yourself at her entrance, the tip of your cock pressing against her slick folds. “Are you sure?” you asked, searching her eyes for any trace of doubt.

She nodded, her expression filled with certainty. “I’ve never been more sure of anything.”

With a steadying breath, you pushed inside her, the tight heat of her walls enveloping you in a way that made your vision blur. She gasped, her nails digging into your shoulders as you buried yourself to the hilt.

“Y/n,” she moaned, her voice trembling. “You feel so good.”

You leaned down, capturing her lips in a searing kiss as you began to move, setting a slow, deliberate pace that had her writhing beneath you. Each thrust drew a soft cry from her lips, and you couldn’t get enough of the sounds she made—the way she whispered your name like a prayer, the way her breathing hitched when you hit just the right spot.

Her hands roamed over your back, her nails leaving faint trails of pleasure-pain that only spurred you on. You buried your face in the crook of her neck, inhaling her scent—sweet, floral, and utterly intoxicating.

“Noona,” you groaned, your hips snapping against hers. “I can’t hold back much longer.”

She wrapped her legs around your waist, pulling you deeper. “Then don’t,” she whispered, her voice husky with need. “I want you to come, Y/n.”

Her words pushed you over the edge. With a guttural groan, you thrust into her one last time, spilling yourself deep inside her as waves of ecstasy crashed over you. She clung to you, her body trembling as she reached her own climax, her walls clenching around you in a way that prolonged your release.

For a moment, everything faded away—time, space, the world outside—leaving only the two of you, connected in the most intimate way possible.

When you finally came down from your high, you rested your forehead against hers, both of you struggling to catch your breath. She smiled up at you, her eyes shining with warmth and affection.

“Y/n,” she murmured, her voice soft and full of emotion. “I love you, too.”

You kissed her gently, savoring the moment. But as you pulled back, a mischievous glint appeared in her eyes.

“Again?” she asked, her lips curling into a playful smile.

The next morning, the sunlight filtered through the blinds of Suzy’s apartment, casting a soft glow over the room. You stirred awake, your arm draped over her waist, her body warm and still against yours. Her breathing was steady, and for a moment, you just watched her, marveling at how peaceful she looked in sleep. She’s even more beautiful like this, you thought, brushing a strand of hair from her face.

Her eyes fluttered open, and she smiled when she saw you. “Morning,” she murmured, her voice husky with sleep.

“Morning, Noona,” you said, your heart swelling at the sight of her sleepy smile.

She stretched lazily, then propped herself up on one elbow. “I have to go to set today,” she said, pouting slightly. “It’s my music video shoot.”

You nodded, trying to hide your disappointment. “I’ll miss you.”

Her expression softened, and she leaned in to kiss you gently. “Why don’t you come with me?” she suggested, her tone casual but her eyes full of hope. “You could see what it’s like behind the scenes. And… I’d love to have you there.”

Your heart skipped a beat. The idea of seeing her work, of being close to her even while she was in her element, was incredibly tempting. “Are you sure? Won’t it be weird?”

Suzy shook her head, her lips curved into a playful smirk. “Everyone will just think you’re part of the crew. Besides, I want you there. Is that so bad?”

You couldn’t help but grin. “Not bad at all.”

---

The set was buzzing with activity when you arrived. Cameras, lights, and people filled the space, creating an electric atmosphere. Suzy immediately took charge, giving directions to her team and chatting casually with the director. You hung back, watching her as she moved with effortless grace, her confidence radiating in every step.

This is her world, you realized, feeling a mix of awe and pride. She belonged here, commanding attention without even trying.

At one point, she glanced over her shoulder and caught your eye, flashing you a quick smile. Your heart raced as she excused herself from the group and made her way over to you.

“How are you holding up?” she asked, her voice low so only you could hear.

“I’m fine,” you replied, though you felt a little out of place among all the chaos. “You’re amazing out there, Noona.”

Her cheeks flushed slightly, and she looked down, suddenly shy. “Thank you,” she said softly. Then, after a pause, she added, “Stay close, okay? I want you near me.”

You nodded, unable to resist the warmth in her tone. As the day went on, you stayed by her side, helping where you could and simply enjoying the chance to be with her. Between takes, she would lean into you, stealing quiet moments of closeness that made your pulse quicken.

During a break, you found yourselves alone in her dressing room. The door clicked shut behind you, and Suzy turned to face you, her expression serious.

“Y/n,” she began, her voice trembling ever so slightly. “I know this is new for us, and… maybe it’s too soon to say this, but…” She took a deep breath, her eyes locking onto yours. “I feel like I’ve been waiting for this—for us—my whole life.”

Her words sent a shiver down your spine. Before you could respond, she closed the distance between you, her lips meeting yours in a kiss that was both tender and urgent. You wrapped your arms around her, pulling her closer, your hands roaming over her back as if trying to memorize every curve.

She broke the kiss reluctantly, resting her forehead against yours. “I don’t want to hide this,” she whispered. “I don’t care who sees us. I just want to be with you.”

Her declaration left you breathless. “Noona…”

She pressed her finger to your lips, silencing you. “Don’t overthink it, Y/n. Just be with me.”

Before you could reply, someone knocked on the door, startling you both. “Suzy-ssi, we’re ready for you!” a voice called from the other side.

Suzy sighed, stepping back but keeping her hand in yours. “Come watch,” she said, her eyes sparkling with excitement. “I want you to see this.”

You followed her back to the set, your heart pounding as you took your place among the crew. The cameras rolled, and Suzy transformed before your eyes, slipping effortlessly into her role. She moved with such precision and passion that it was impossible to look away.

As the shoot progressed, you couldn’t help but notice how often she glanced your way, her smile growing warmer each time. It was as if she were performing for you, pouring her heart into every movement because you were there to witness it.

When the director finally called “Cut!” and declared the shoot a wrap, the room erupted into applause. Suzy bowed graciously, thanking everyone for their hard work, but her gaze kept drifting back to you.

Once the crowd began to disperse, she made her way over, her steps slow and deliberate. “Well?” she asked, tilting her head playfully. “What did you think?”

“You were incredible,” you said honestly, your voice filled with admiration. “I mean, I always knew you were talented, but seeing you like that… it’s unreal.”

Her cheeks turned pink, and she looked down, almost bashful. “Thank you,” she murmured. Then, her expression grew serious. “But you know what the best part was?”

You shook your head, curious.

“Knowing you were watching,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “It made everything feel… different. Special.”

Your chest tightened at her words, and you reached for her hand, intertwining your fingers with hers. “I’ll always watch you, Noona. No matter what.”

She smiled, a soft, contented smile that made your heart ache in the best possible way. “Good,” she said, leaning in closer. “Because I plan on keeping you around for a long time.”

As the crew began to pack up, Suzy led you to a quieter corner of the set, away from prying eyes. She slipped her arms around your neck, pressing her body against yours. “Now,” she said, her voice low and sultry, “what do you say we continue where we left off earlier?”

Your breath hitched, and you didn’t hesitate. You kissed her deeply, your hands gripping her waist as she melted into you. The sounds of the set faded into the background, leaving only the two of you, lost in the heat of the moment.

When she pulled back, her lips swollen and her eyes dark with desire, she gave you a mischievous smile. “My place or yours?” she teased, her tone light but her gaze intense.

You chuckled, your heart racing. “Whichever gets us there faster.”

Her laughter echoed through the empty set as she grabbed your hand and led you toward the exit. But as you reached the door, she paused, turning to face you. “Y/n,” she said, her voice soft but firm, “this isn’t just about tonight. This is… forever. Okay?”

You nodded, your throat tight with emotion. “Okay.”

And as you stepped out into the cool night air, hand in hand with the woman who had once been your childhood friend and was now so much more, you couldn’t help but feel like the universe had finally aligned. For the first time in years, everything felt right.

“Let’s go home,” Suzy said, squeezing your hand.

[shorthaltsjester]

obsessed with the fact that bell's hells won that fight explicitly because of their reliance on the gods. imogen and laudna both vocally saying 'thank you matron' at the beginnings of that combat as they use new skills or spells they've refreshed, orym wielding his sword, braius wielding his divine power, the entire party instilled with a hero's feast prepared by a cleric of the wildmother, imogen using power granted by the arch heart to bring down predathos -- an entity that has been described as welcoming her home, offering a womb she has longed to return to, her as its kin -- in imagery evoking the moment where the gods too decided to turn their backs on their home when faced with the monstrosity they were tied to, that they'd help bring about (something something, the arch heart gave mortals magic and imogen gave predathos its vessel). and the fact that bell's hells has slowly grown more reliant on the idea that predathos does not hunger for mortals -- something they in fact scoffed at when it came from liliana and ludinus' mouths -- predathos took several of them in his maw and tried to consume them.

viewing the story as one of a group of people predominantly blinded to the reality of their situations by the fog of their traumatized feelings -- as i've chosen to do for the sake of my sanity listening to them go on and on about gods that never gave them a lick in the same breath that they complain that the gods have too much power -- it is so extremely poetic that orym cut down ludinus with a sword blessed by the wild mother only for bell's hells to retread the path ludinus set up for himself. it is extremely ironic for a group of people who have implicitly raised complaints about the inherent manipulation that comes with the god's existence to come up with a plan that is explicit manipulation, demanding the gods become mortal or die [which to be clear, extremely interesting plan with interesting consequences that would be compelling to see! absolutely dogshit reasoning skills and moral assessment. but it is continually ASTOUNDING to me that a campaign that gets treated by some as the height of critical role's sociopolitical philosophical exploration features so many PCs who struggle (and not in the fruitful, developmental way but in the head-in-hands, can this student talk to the prof during office hours so I don't have to feel the second hand embarrassment of them making it obvious they haven't ever attended a previous lecture or done the class readings way) with ideas found in any first year philosophy course].

and to be clear this is not me devaluing the role of bell's hells in actually fighting the fight -- but all they've done is the same thing the gods were already doing, keeping predathos sealed, except now its in a volatile-at-best mortal who is on borrowed time re: being lost once again to its power. the only suggestion the hells have that this might be a justified and right course of action is the support of two gods -- one who has proven themself to be okay with the idea of death until it actually arrives before and the other one who is the only being on record who actually chose to be a deity -- out of a much larger pantheon, and their personal inclinations to agree with the ideology of a man who they have claimed to ardently disagree with but it turns out that was just because of his methods, I guess. scattershotting catalysts for change and hoping that change results in a Better World just. on its own (almost like. idk. fate) that you haven't even suggested practical (I'd even take theoretical ones atp) methods to achieve beyond Get Rid of a bunch of beings who are involved in actually extreme amounts of metaphysical and magical infrastructure isn't actually a course of action, its a course of chaos, and that is in fact worse than things staying the way they are if 'the way things are' that you keep referring to has only been shown to, currently, be that you and your friends feel sad and a little miffed that the gods you haven't offered anything to are only willing to do things for you when you serve them. unlike you, a group notorious for the way you do things for people you don't know without asking anything in return (this is sarcasm, if that wasn't clear).

anyway, I will continue to be frustrated by the lack of grounding for either (a) bell's hells having actually incisive and contextualized criticisms of the gods (either their own or from the actual mouths of the 'little guys' they are allegedly fighting for) or (b) more engagement with the fact that bell's hells as a party are not interested in making the morally right choice, they are at Best looking for a morally neutral choice. that said, if I ignore the actual story c3 has portrayed, the last few episodes have been a great wrap-up to a story about how singleminded trauma can make you and how that can lead you to place where there's no longer any Good choices to make, only potentially satisfying ones, where the question of who to satisfy takes the reigns over what is best.

[mr2swap]

Stepdad and son time

-Calm down old man, A cigarette won't ruin “My” body-

My stepfather Steve smiled confidently at me and then flexed his huge arms just to reinforce his point.

-I even think they are a little bigger than the last time you saw them, right Steve?-

Despite being outdoors the powerful aroma that came from the smoke reached my nose, that aroma was so familiar, but at the same time it was different I could remember the taste, however I had never tasted one. It was the old and dry lips of my stepfather, those Who remembered the delicious and soothing taste of that horrible habit.

-Oh! How rude I have been... Do you want any of this?? -

Steve took a couple of steps towards me and held the cigarette towards my face, the same face he had left behind 3 years ago. I'm not sure how he did it, but I have no doubt that he is to blame for what I now look like. As an overweight, middle-aged Southern man, I couldn't resist the soothing taste of a good cigarette.

Suddenly my mind relaxed and all the hatred I felt for the guy who had ruined my life vanished. Steve looks as damn happy and confident as the last time I saw him. We continue fishing, drinking and talking as if we were really a couple. Stepfather and his son having a good time, son of a bitch…

When I lived with my mom, he and I never got along well, sometimes we went days without talking even if our room was only a couple of meters away. To me, Steve was just a lazy idiot who was lucky to find someone like my mom.

Although my mom tried to get us closer multiple times, she didn't succeed, Steve and I were very different. I used to be a sports fan, I spent time with my friends playing all day or sweating in the gym, but all that changed when I turned 21 years old, Steve suddenly began to take an interest in my life in a somewhat obsessive way. He started watching the videos I posted about my workouts on Instagram and looking at my friends' profiles.

But the most obvious proof that he was the cause of all this was that just a week after we "mysteriously" woke up in the other's body, Steve left the house in the middle of the night with my motorcycle, the selfish bastard. The only thing he left me was his social security number and a small message:

“I'm sorry that we couldn't find out what caused us to exchange our bodies, but I think we should both continue with our lives. Take care of your mother and don't worry... I'll go visit.”

Since that day my life has been shit, I don't know what the fuck he did to me, but since that day I've had to fight every day with that little voice in my head That makes me act like an idiot, Sometimes and all I can think about is How damn hot it is in the house and how good I could use a six-pack of beer. I guess he thought he would do me a favor by doing that to me to blend in more, or maybe I'm just his trash can where he dumped his shitty habits including his taste in women and Susan, my mother.

Every night before I go to sleep I try to be so fucking drunk that I forget what I do at night with my own mother and when I can't get my mother to give me money for the beers I masturbate furiously in the bathroom to relieve my desire for the disgusting sex with mom

If you're still horny and want to read more of my m2m bodyswap stories, subscribe to my Ko-fi I have over 250 stories in my archives

[k0nanharv3y]

Alfred who came down after hearing so much noise: What's going on here, Mr. Bruce, Mr. Tim?

And Tim's face turned to Alfred like a rubber band. Bruce's face took a little longer, but he also looked at the old man in pain, seeking comfort or advice from his father

Alfred looked between Tim's heartbroken face and Bruce's wounded face: I don't know what's going on here, but I would advise you both to change and take your conversation upstairs

And Tim only saw red

Tim: This is- I'm so done!, I'm so fucking done, with you!

He pointed aggressively at Bruce

Tim: You!

Damian, who had stood on the sidelines and now seemed personally offended

Tim: And you! And everyone else in this fucking family!

Finally he pointed at Alfred even more aggressively

Alfred, shocked by the open display of hatred towards him, he felt his heart heavy: Mr. Tim- I-

For the first time in perhaps ever, Alfred hesitated

Damian: Hey! You have nothing to yell at Pennyworth for!

He defended

Tim: Shut up Damian, this isn't about you!

He silenced him and turned to both adults now

Tim: It's about you, and what you did to me

Both adults looked at each other and remained silent

Tim: You, you were an abuser and I didn't deserve that, any of this, I've always tried to please you, to live up to what you wanted! And you?! You left him, Alfred, and I wish I didn't hate you like Dick and Jason do, but all I see when I come into this house is an abuser and the person who let him! Don't play dumb, Alfred, you- You're just as bad as Bruce! And even if Bruce was the problem, you never made me feel welcome! Never-! I had to walk home a hundred times with bruised ribs, ribs that you bandaged up and then pretended didn't exist!

His throat was now raw and his voice had become cracked and squeaky. And both adults, when they saw Tim, didn't see the 17-year-old running a multi-million dollar company, they just saw the 12-year-old excited to be Robin and looking for any kind of validation they could give him

And this was what they gave him, a house where he didn't feel safe or welcome, a family he avoided like fire avoids water, thousands of reasons not to return and they robbed him of any kind of childhood he could've had

And the two adults remained silent, unable to deny or say anything, because they had nothing to say. Tim had said enough for them

Tim: You say you loved all the children in this mansion, but guess what, Alfred, I was once a child myself, and the only thing I ever got from here, never came from you. When I came here to become Robin, I thought... I thought I might get something like Jason and Dick got, too, but it seems the only thing I'll get from you is an inscription on my grave. What will you put this time, Alfred? "A good soldier," "A good son"?

Silence was his response

Tim: Fuck you all

He pulled off his cape and threw it on the ground

Tim: Fuck you all. I'm tired of this, tired of-! Of everyone wanting something from me! I quit

He ripped off his tool belt and threw it at Bruce

Tim: I quit your stupid last name, I quit your stupid company, I quit being Red Robin, I quit everything

When he had nothing left to tear off, he kicked things off the floor

Tim: I'm done! And if you ever- And if you ever care even a little, don't look for me! I don't want anything to do with this family, all of you-!

He looked at the people in the cave and seemed about to cry

Tim: I hope you-! Fuck you all, I never deserved this! Fuck you, I hope you all fuck off and-!

His voice broke and his crying intensified

Tim: I hope you die

His voice trailed off as he tried to wipe away the tears that kept running down his cheeks

Tim: I hope you suffer at least a fraction of what you did to me and...! And... And why can't I hate you...? Why can't I hate you...?

His voice sounded so tired

Tim: All I ever wanted was to be... to be enough, for you to love me... and I want to hate you but- but you're my father, and they're my brothers and... and I'm so tired, I want to go home, I want to feel safe and I want to hate you! Why can't hate you?!

He collapsed on the ground, like all his other things, like a pathetic spectacle of a pathetic child. He felt miserable in the eyes of the people who hurt him, he felt vulnerable and naked and... and he didn't care anymore, the weight he had been carrying for so long finally lifted from his shoulders and he felt satisfaction at the heartbroken look on Bruce's face and the pain on Alfred's face, and Tim simply didn't care about being on the ground anymore

He didn't care about anything anymore, just like he didn't matter

///

Part 1 Jumpscare!!!

That awkward conversation I had!!

///

And no one gets any comfort because god knows I don't know how to write about comfort, Tim deserved that breakdown and Bruce and Alfred deserved to have someone point out to their faces that they were, in fact, abusive and ruined a child's life

I would do this with Dick, Jason, Damian and Barb too, but I haven't read many comics about them, fanfics? sure, but I don't know how much of it is canon and what their real personalities are

Bruce ruined his children's futures, but canonically he also saved them. Dick was saved from becoming GraySon, Jason was rescued from the streets, Damian was saved from the League of Assassins, and Barb... Barb made choices

But Dick was also condemned to the superhero life and all the harm that entails, Jason was condemned to die, Damian went from an abusive mother to a neglectful father, and Barb... well, she's now permanently in a wheelchair

There's just too much to unpack there!!!! And my psychology books are begging to be opened again, but Tim is my favorite and that means everything I think of will be about or referring to him

[freeluigihesbae]

𝓫𝓾𝓽𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓯𝓵𝓲𝓮𝓼 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓭𝓮𝓮𝓻 𝓮𝔂𝓮𝓼 - 𝓹𝓪𝓻𝓽 𝟑

(2,663 words)

part 1, part 2

summary:

luigi fell in love with you for those sparkling eyes where his dreams of falling in love first came true. but how did it happen?

𝗍𝗐: 𝗇𝗈𝗇𝖾

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

"So..." Luigi has his hand on yours, not wanting to leave.

The date, as he so confirmed, went wonderfully. The giggles were like butterflies filling the atmosphere while you noted the intensity of his stare in your eyes.

"Is this your go-to phrase when you're dumbfounded?" You smirk while still holding onto his hand. Luigi snickers in response.

"I'm smartfounded-" "That is SO fucking lame." You groan at his response, fake-disgusted at the cop-out answer he gave but he pulls back, both hands next to his head implying that he isn't guilty. You tilt your head back down, giving him a seriously? look that only made him happier.

"No, really. If I told you my resume I've got half the mind to say you'd be impressed." Luigi explains himself but two can play that game.

Especially since you want him to compliment you more.

"Yeah, but I bet you've never worked as hard your girl," you emphasize the your to which he raises his eyebrows, "doing everything with a cast on." You watch as his features soften impossibly more and you're thinking bingo.

"T-That's true." In fact, it isn't. Luigi remembers having to use crutches while preparing for the competition of a lifetime but honestly... he was willing to lie just to put you above himself.

It is an honest, selfless act.

You smile, happy that your little guilt-tripping line has worked its wonders before you remember your hangout with Ash. You check your phone and you already see a few texts.

Ash: heyyyy i miss u. i need to rant so bad istfg

Ash: Girl where tFFFF R yA i'm drunk and heartbro-Ken

You shake your head. This girl and her heartbreaks.

"Is everything alright?" Luigi cocks his head to the side, concerned about the expression on your face that changed so suddenly. You look up, immediately smiling and shaking your head.

"Oh, just a girl problem a friend of mine is having. I guess duty calls." You giggle and Luigi lets out a sigh before he stands up, extending his arm out.

"I'll walk back with you because it's getting dark and it's cold outside. Casts don't mesh too well with this...environment the universe has so cruelly subjected you to." You smile at his borderline philosophical monologue, throwing your head back in laughter and responding in equal vigor.

"Oh, whatever would I do without such a gentleman to guide me through the blazing waters of an Ivy League campus?" You stand up before he's already setting a hand on your waist and nuzzling his nose into your forehead.

"I guess we'll never know." Luigi responds and your heart soars. He couldn't give a better answer than that.

He knows it all too well.

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

"Why did you get the injury in the first place?"

You and Luigi have been walking at a leisure pace for about 15 minutes, thankfully since you shot a message to Ash who was kind enough to understand, happy that you found yourself a date.

"It's such a long story but let's just say... heels, stairs, and ice. Put one and one and one together." You reply with a mock serious tone and Luigi groans, his arm around you tightening with a sense of protectiveness.

"I swear, I'll never understand the expectation women have to wear these stupid heels and dress up to look a certain way. Just use 15-in-1 body wash and call it a day." You turn around, slapping your hand over your mouth at how he managed to switch from being so sentimental to talking like, well, what you'd expect a guy to talk like.

"I'm impressed." You say, genuinely impressed.

"That's my goal." He replies.

You walked straight into that one.

"What was the event?" Luigi follows up and you find yourself half-surprised he even cares this much.

Your mind flutters away, picking out the pieces of the night.

"It was a sorority wide gala. I wasn't really up for it but my friends pushed me to come and somehow, the night ended with me regretting it altogether. I'm a homebody, honestly. I like keeping to myself and it's definitely on me for bending to the peer pressure." You respond, sighing at the stress of just thinking about the day that landed you with the case you have on now.

Luigi bends down, placing his lips on your temple for just a second before pulling off.

"If you ever need help, bambi, just remember I'm there for you." He stops but quickly adds a comment. "I wish I could've seen the dress you were in." You stare at his side-profile, wondering how his tone could change yet flow so flawlessly.

"Yeah." That's all you say, finding yourself lost in appreciating this man in his entirety.

"Yeah?" He stops walking and so do you, letting your fingers take the risk and reach over to grab his hand, pulling it closer towards your waist. He understand the assignment, gripping onto your hipbones before his other hand is drawing a line from the small of your back, up to your neck.

"Yeah." You repeat yourself, but this time, your voice is more breathy, hyper aware of the way he's touching you and staring into your eyes.

He looks dreamy, you think, the way he looks at you with not just a superficial sweep of his eyes, but as though he's looking into you, trying to grab at the pieces that make you whole and if possible, soothe and piece them together better than they just were.

Dreamy.

Unknowingly, you both start walking but the pace is even slower as you're lost in each others eyes, asking the question neither of your dared to utter.

Luigi is still looking at you but his breathing has picked up.

He's trying his very best to just take you home and drop you off but there's a pull coming from your eyes and goddamn calling you bambi didn't help him much because the purity and innocence behind that name was driving him insane.

He saw you through those lens too and somehow, it seemed to be enough for him because he barely knew you. Yet, he felt he'd known you for years and he could explain how exactly your soul and body were weaved into one.

You find your way to your dorm building, stopping in front and Luigi's lips immediately part.

"I need to kiss you." He says and you're taken aback, but the blush on your face and ever-so-slight present smile in your eyes tell him you want that too.

He comes a few inches closer while shaking his head, driving his fingers upwards and cupping your face. You take your own hands and place them overtop of his, enjoying the size difference.

"You have no clue, bambi. Your eyes are the most beautiful thing I have seen in this world. I don't care if someone showed me the world's largest diamond and held it up to the sunlight because I'd just have to turn around and look into your eyes and I'd see the light of millions of gems sparkling. I'd see galaxies valiantly painted into poems. I see so many things you don't and the more I stare into them, I-" He falters at the end and you're panting, processing the awe-inducing words that just fell from his lips that you really want to kiss.

"Luigi you- you-" You don't know what to say. That wasn't a normal compliment. It wasn't a usual compliment. Hell, it wasn't even a compliment.

That was a love letter that came straight from his adoration for you.

"What the fuck?" A sharp, broken voice cuts through the warm and giddy atmosphere that was hugging the two of you closer together. You both turn your head and you realize, it's Ash.

Your smile drops but picks up when you turn around and walk over to hug her, but in all her rage for reasons you still don't know, she pushes you back. And she pushes hard.

"You fucking BITCH!" Ash screams while you're falling back, thankful that Luigi has caught you from behind. "Ash what is wrong with you?!" Luigi raises his voice and snap at Ash, who is staring at you both in tears.

"Yeah, that's right. Let me ask YOU that." Ash is pointedly speaking to you and you're feeling tears crowding your vision.

"A-Ash I have no idea what's going on-" "You're sleeping with the guy I asked out to prom?" She interrupts your plead and your eyes go wide before you're looking at Luigi, who spares you a stare and goes back to visibly fuming at the sight of Ash in front of him.

"Get the fuck out of here Ash. You're the one who tried to pressure me into saying yes to your stupid proposal-" "Stupid? Stupid? You're trying to act like you didn't know what your friends were doing and it's your fault that I asked you Luigi!"

"STOP." You yell and watch both Ash and Luigi freeze in place.

"Ash, tell me what the fuck happened and please explain why it justified you pushing me to the ground when I have a cast on?" You put your hands on your hips, watching her eyes go wide when she realizes you have a cast. Her lips part as she stutters and explains herself.

"I-I asked Luigi out for homecoming and he said he didn't like me despite his friends making me think otherwise. I got embarrassed because he did it in front of everyone and I-I-" There's guilt written all over Ash's face and you catch it. Luigi opens his mouth but you shoot him a look, which he respects.

"Everyone who Ash?" You ask, starting to think Luigi was right.

"You know what I mean." Ash scowls lightly before continuing. "Cassidy, Rachel, our friends, and the entire hallway like-" Ash stops, waiting for you to respond.

"So you voluntarily asked him out when there were several people around and expected him to say yes and when he said no you got upset?" You asked, slightly accusatory in your tone and she nods. You then turn to Luigi.

"What did you say to her when you said no? I imagine you said more than just no, correct?" You ask Luigi and he nods, speaking his words confidently.

"I told her that I'm glad she felt comfortable enough to ask me, but that I didn't like her despite what my idiotic friends were making it seem like and that I'm sorry on their behalf, but I couldn't go out with her. I was truthful and I was respectful bam- I mean-" Luigi stops and it takes everything in you to bite back a smile. "I was respectful." Luigi ends his sentence and you hear Ash sharply exhaling.

"You still didn't explain why that justified you pushing me to the ground." You whip your head back to Ash, whose face is pale with guilt.

"I thought he would've told you. So I thought he did and I got upset you were still hanging out knowing he rejected me." Ash says, a streak of anger in her eyes when she remembers the rejection.

You shake your head in disappointment. Even if he had told her, you still would've spent time with him because it's true - Ash is in the wrong.

"You're still in the wrong Ash. He was respectful about it and you made it a bigger deal than it has to be." You finally say and Ash flexes her jaw, staring at you with contempt.

"Of course you think it's my fault. Here you are, all perfect and in order with your life when I'm trying to find my footing." You're taken aback, glancing at Luigi who raises his eyebrow, but doesn't look at you. "You're so perfect. Perfect grades perfect everything-"

"You have all that too, Ash." You cut her off, confused what her annoyance is about.

"Yeah well you know what you have and I don't? The ability to make men fold. Every man I bring back stares at your like you're a goddess and it irks me like hell. You're pretty you're perfect you're everything I want to be. I fucking hate you and don't think for a second I find you any less guilty." Ash's voice is dripping spite and jealousy, getting even worse as she watches your face change...none.

"Ash, you were my closest friend and I always looked up to your for the same exact reasons, but I never tried to make men look at me or give me attention or something. I'm always being myself and it seems like you are unable to do that, which explains your jealousy." Ash's face is still angry, but you can see her lips quivering.

"I don't care. I hate you." Ash says, trying to get a reaction out of you.

"I don't hate you Ash, but I certainly don't want to deal with your baggage. Get out of my face." You say calmly and Ash freezes before crying and walking away. You watch as she's stumbling over herself, remembering she was a bit drunk when she texted you.

Luigi finally lets out a breath and turns to face you.

"I'm proud of you standing up for yourself. You've got a clear head and a strong will bambi." Luigi smiles and you smile back at him.

"Stop, oh my god. Just telling the truth I guess. Thanks for catching me Lu." You let the nickname slip and Luigi gives you a mockingly smoldering look.

"I'm Lu now, bambina?" Your jaw drops.

'Wha-Wh-Where do you pull these from UGH!" You slap his arm before he's scooping you into his arms and in giggles and laughter, you agree.

You hand him your ID card which he scans, carrying you into the room where he sets you on your bed, paying special attention to your cast.

"When are you getting this off, bambi?" You've gotten used to the nickname now, simply answering his question.

"In a week or two. I'm bummer out because I'm going to look stupid at homecoming." You frown a bit but Luigi comes over, lightly setting his finger under your chin.

"I don't know if you'd want to come with me or not, but no matter what you choose, I'm telling you that your eyes, body, and smile make you the most stunning woman anyone will ever set their eyes on." He's leaned in now, speaking his words right over your lips and you find your hands on his t-shirt, clutching the fabric so tight your palms start to sweat.

"I-I-I-" "Need to go, bambina." Luigi pulls away and you gasp as he turns around at the door, shining a smile and walking out the door before you can say his name.

Part of your sags, shoulders falling since you thought he'd ask you out to homecoming, but the way he did it... if he really did, was frankly, underwhelming.

Was this just a fun thing for him? A date that he could brag to his friends about? But how could it be?

You're lost thinking about all the words he'd said and spun you around in ribbon with, trying to fight every urge that told you he was playing with your feelings. You bounce back on the bed before wincing.

Something sharp scratches your head and you turn around before seeing a small card, folded into two and now showing a few words inside. You frown, wondering where it came from.

The moment the card slides between your fingers, it feel thick and rich, making you wonder what was possible written on it.

bambi,

if you're willing to come to homecoming with me, keep an eye out for a package tomorrow before noon.

here's my number: xxx-xxx-xxxx

~ luigi

Your heart flutters once again, all the doubts melting away as you pull the card close to your chest.

What did this boy have in mind?

~

if you'd like to be added to my taglist, please comment beneath my pinned masterlist post on my blog!

@madkohi

[alacants]

The source of those rumors is a guy from Carlos's family's tennis club who is close to Kiko Navarro & knows some members of Carlos's team & is a regular collaborator with Punto de Break. According to him (he's said this before) Carlos & Juanki had a significant fight towards the end of 2023. But the claim that they nearly split up back then came from someone else who's less reliable.

As for 2025, the first guy says Carlos's dad has apparently not been happy with what Juanki is doing for a while... but it seems like Carlos doesn't agree. If things don't turn around after clay season his family might push for changes to the team.

From my perspective it's hard to understand the coaching strategy sometimes. Like you said Juanki's strength is not tactics but it seems like that's what Carlos really needs. This is just one example but I think it's crazy that he sat on court in silence for three sets without suggesting Carlos change his return position v Djokovic - Carlos eventually figured it out... in the last game of the match. And that was honestly the main factor in him losing. You could argue Juanki wanted him to figure it out himself but why on earth did they not discuss that beforehand when it also cost him massively at the Olympics (which Carlos said he didn't even think about before the match?)

I know Juanki's whole thing is treating team like family but there are a lot top coaches who say that after 5ish years a coach has nothing to give a player anymore & I wonder if their partnership has run its natural course. Carlos doesn't seem any more tactically equipped than he was two years ago & his technicals have mostly not improved either (return... backhand...).

thanks for this background - after replying to some earlier asks i dug around and saw some folks citing punto de break but not any specifics so this is appreciated. this does immediately increase the credibility to me bc i know pdb values their access and would not jeopardize it for nothing lmao. tho if it's like, a guy who sometimes writes for them and is mostly posting on his own time... i guess that's somewhere in the middle. (btw i still haven't seen anything other than reports of reports of reports? if you've got links i would very much appreciate them!)

as usual i think we're looking at two questions here: could carlos benefit from a different coach, and does carlos want a different coach.

i think we are all in agreement that for carlos to continue to develop as a player he needs something he's not getting at the moment, whether we're thinking in terms of incorporating a new addition to the team or making a wholesale switch. and i don't disagree with you at all about the natural lifespan of a coaching relationship. i've cited this before in discussions of juanki's own career (stuck with one guy; was it a mistake?) and of ferru's (split but waited too long; chalked the delay up to personal feelings).

but as long as it's presented to carlos as an all-or-nothing choice i don't think he's there yet and i would not be surprised to find out that his recent post-match declarations were a message. (tbc it very much MIGHT be an all-or-nothing choice, regulars here know i have plenty of thoughts about the academy lmao.)

the thing is that at this point the unknowns are still really, really risky. if you've had the same coach for most of your teen/adult years and you're ready to strike out and try something new, then that's exciting and stimulating and you're in a good place to make the best of it. but if you're dragging your feet? if you feel like you've been pushed? maybe someone else could give you more, but you have to be ready to receive it, you know? if you're an environment that you know enables you overall to perform at a high level (4 grand slams), where you feel overall confident and supported even if you're lacking direction in some big matches, where you get value from your coach's presence above and beyond the specifics of tennis--it is inherently going to be a risk to make a big change and if you're not all in on doing so the risks will be even more likely to find you.

that's why i keep saying is that i don't see it happening unless carlos' results gets much worse than this--or, potentially, unless a voice that holds as much weight with him as juanki's (so, his dad) gets strong enough that he listens to it. that might be where we're headed!

(incidentally i have feinted at this without saying so explicitly, but there is an unbelievable amount of money riding on carlos' success or lack thereof--i don't mean prize money, i mean his brand as a star--and it would be naive to pretend that's not a factor in decision-making. that's one of the reasons i've pointed to a sustained slump, rather than one or two disappointing slams. when the results start to affect the brand.)

just talked this over with friend who compared the ideal set-up to darren/simone for jannik--supervisory coach + tactical/court coach. if so, then the question is whether they come to that same conclusion and get the set-up in place before the decision is out of their hands, so to speak.

[the-astronome]

Saw a post here about names of pathologic characters, and decided to share some thoughts regarding our beloathed Bachelor, because I realised something and have to share it with you.

So, what do we know? Well, his name is certainly Daniil and his surname is Dankovsky. “What about his patronymic?” you might ask. Here it’s a bit more complicated, but knowing that he once signed a letter with D.D.D. we can safely assume his patronymic starts with a D, and as a matter of fact, I’m quite sure that it’s actually Daniilovich (i.e. his father’s name was also Daniil), though my arguments in favour of this are rather funny

1)Name:

Daniil, what does this name mean? To begin with, the name comes from Hebrew (“Dānīyyēʾl” in romanised version) and literally means “God is my judge”. What is more interesting, in my opinion, is that this name is partially formed by another Jewish name, “Dan”. “Dan” literally means “judge” and its most known bearer is Dan, son of Jacob (also known as Israel, the angel-wrestling guy), who was (according to the Bible) the founder of the Tribe of Dan. Moreover, the symbol of this tribe is a serpent, because of Dan’s sly, scheming, and calculating character.

Apart from that, Bachelor’s a doctor, and one of the most famous symbols of medicine (at least in Russia) is a Bowl of Hygieia, see a simple example below

This also could be an intended symbolism, which probably started with IPL thinking how they would name their genius-doctor-character, and then spiralling down into all these snake-related topics, eventually choosing Daniil. It might have been just a funny coincidence. Someone can probably text them on Twitter and ask.

2)Surname:

Here it’s a bit tricky, and please do feel free to correct me, because the info I’ll give here might be false. Anyway. When I first started P1, I was a bit puzzled by Bachelor’s surname. You see, even though it is defo a Slavic surname (e.g. -sky ending), it doesn’t make much sense to a Russian speaking person, since what the hell is “Dankov”? A surname in a surname, now ending with “-ov”? Well, here is a potential explanation:

Western Slavs have a form of “Daniel”, namely “Danko”. As far as I understand, it can be a surname (and it is, in various forms, at least in Slovakia and Ukraine). This makes the surname “Dankovsky” mean something like “of the Danko” “son of Danko” “belonging to Danko” etc. All this suggests that, if we translate his surname to Russian in the literal manner, it would change to “Daniilov”. So you see where I’m going, right..?

3)Patronymic:

So. What do we have. “Daniil” as a name, and a surname which apparently (through numerous layers of linguistic irony) is also formed from the name “Daniil”. And we know that his patronymic starts with D. Do I dare suggest that his patronymic follows this silly pattern as well, so it would be “Daniilovich”?

This leaves us with a beautiful name of Daniil Daniilovich Daniilov, which sounds rather humorous and comical to russian-speaking folks (reminds us of the legendary Ivan Ivanovich Ivanov). As a close friend of mine suggested, that could have been a placeholder of sorts during the early development of the game and/or character, when IPL only came up with a name, but not with everything else. Then they decided not to over-invent things, and just obscure the surname via translating and adapting it to Western Slavic languages (Polish and apparently Slovak, I would guess), and basically never mentioning his patronymic. Ingenious if you ask me

4)Takeaways:

Not much, unless you see a sentence where I’m talking out of my ass, please I beg you speak up if messed up the Western Slavic part, I’m not native to those languages, so could’ve missed something there.

More importantly! For me, all these layers behind DDD name form a very concrete foundation for my headcanon that Bachelor is of Polish-Jewish origin. In general, his surname suggests lots of interesting stuff, so explore the linguistic opportunities my fellow patho people

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Regarding the “Is Marinette a Stalker?” post, I want to say thank you! Because I did something like Marinette and self-doubted my younger-self’s actions. A bit of context, I’m (37 y/o, female) one of the many adults that loved MLBCN when it started airing. When I came disappointed at the show by S4, I turned to the fandom to look out for fanfics, and was surprised by the salty side.

Don’t get me wrong, I kinda get the why’s and the reasons, and even though I enjoyed a Mari-salt fic titled “The Schedule” (iirc), I… sorta felt ashamed at myself? When I was 19, I fell in love with this guy, and it seemed that he liked me too. Our university had a system only for students where we could do lots of administrative stuff, like choosing our classes. At my time, there used to be a search tool on it to look out for our classmates’ schedules; in my curiosity, I searched for his just to see if we shared free periods. (Btw, today I do feel that it was wrong that my university had that function).

At my defense, after finding my crush’s schedule, I also searched for my friends’, just so I could organize with them to set up a table for our LAN parties. At the end my feelings weren’t reciprocated, my heartbreak ocurred close the next semester’s start, so I searched his schedule one more time, but just to avoid having classes with him.

When I read that Mari having Adrien’s schedule was “stalker behavior” I was like “OMG, was I a stalker? And worse, I was legally an adult!”, but I can’t remember my friends being creeped out by me. I don’t know if it is a subject whose meaning has evolved as time went on, or maybe it can change according to our different cultural/countries’ POV. But we do crazy stuff when we are young-adults, and worse when we are adolescents, add first love/crush feelings, and well… (just look at Hey, Arnold!’s Helga, she had it bad for Arnold and went to do stuff that by today’s standards is a serious case of bullying).

If the issue is the “breach of privacy” and the “3 years”, well, the first one isn’t touched on the show, maybe Mari got the pattern by observation, or Alya helped by asking Nino, or maybe even Chloe said something loudly, or my personal fan-favorite: as Class Rep, Marinette has access to that information to make easy her duties! And as for the second issue, they are 13-14 years old, my bet is that if their school makes fixated schedules for its students, so it wouldn’t be difficult to guess Adrien’s schedule for the next 3-years, and since his father was Marinette’s favorite designer, she might have followed his seasons releases, and might been easy for her to add it to Adrien’s schedule.

I want to clarify that I’m not looking to invalidate people’s feelings about this, or saying that they are wrong. In the end, we all must remember that Marinette is just a fictional adolescent character in a cartoon show, and cartoons will exaggerate actions just for the sake of the plot. We don’t like something about the characters’ actions and/or personalities? We teach and explain to the children why is wrong; and as adults, we tell ourselves to be wary if anything about it is in our daily actions, so we don’t fall into the “hating something that is a reflection of us” projection.

I like to think that I was a good adolescent and young adult that didn’t do anything morally or ethically bad, so it really freaked me out that part of the Marinette salt fandom. So, a thousand thanks! And sorry that your friend, cousin and you had to deal with that stuff.

(Post this ask is in reference to)

Before we get started, I wanted to say that your university having that feature seems incredibly dangerous. Most people are going to use it the harmless way that you did, but boy does that have the potential for misuse. Way better to let students decide if they want to share schedules on their own.

Anyway, while I will absolutely agree that the show occasionally takes Marinette too far, leading me to understand why her behavior bothers people, I think that biggest issue in her writing is actually something you sort of brought up:

I fell in love with this guy, and it seemed that he liked me too.

It sounds like you had some sort of relationship with your crush and that makes a world of difference to how your actions are going to be perceived by others. Checking the schedule of a guy you don't know? Kinda creepy. Checking the schedule of your friends including the friend you have a crush on? Normal.

Let's look at a personal example to show you what I mean. When I was in high school, I learned parts of my crush's schedule. On my way to lunch, I would purposely walk by the area where he hung out so that I could say "hi" to him as I walked past.

This statement probably raises some questions in your mind like how did I learn that he'd be there? The answer is incredibly innocent. I learned that part of his schedule by accident because his hangout spot because was also my hangout spot during my free periods. I just happened to go by one day to see a different friend and ran into him, thereby learning a bit of his schedule. After that, I took path A to lunch instead of path B because they took the same amount of time and I liked seeing him for two seconds every day.

It's also worth noting that we had the same hangout spot because we had a mutual friend group! We were in the same small club and spent a lot of time together. We even hung out together outside of school and club activities. We eventually dates for several years because he asked me out! So when I said, "hi" to him every day, it didn't shock anyone or creep him out because I wasn't some random girl. I was a friend taking a moment to acknowledge his existence before going about the rest of my day.

An additional mitigating detail is the fact that I could have told you details about several platonic friends' schedules because that's just what happens when you know people and pay attention to their lives. We all know random crap about the people we care about. Crushes simply enhance your attention, making you way more aware of everything you do, say, or think about this person. That heightened attention might make you feel creepy at times, but that feeling doesn't automatically make you creepy. It's more complicated than that. The details of the situation matter because there's a ton of nuance around this topic. Nuance that actually makes it hard to give examples because this stuff can be incredibly personal. What person A find cute and charming is a hard no for person B.

That nuances goes beyond crushes on people you're close with. For example, you don't need to stop going to your favorite coffee shop because the new barista is cute! You are not stalking them by maintaining your usual habits! You're not a bad person for experiencing attraction toward a person who is working! It only gets weird if you start crossing social boundaries like if you start asking them on a date every time you see them even though they are very clearly uninterested and you've never actually talked to them beyond simple pleasantries.

This is where we circle back to Miraculous.

While the early seasons of Miraculous gave Adrien and Marinette a few moments of friendship like playing games together in Gamer, those moments quickly stopped. By season three, they barely interacted. This happened for an obvious reasons. Miraculous is an episodic formula show in almost the purest sense of those terms. The writers have made it clear that the episodes are designed so that they can be watched in any order leading to all sorts of weird moments like Felix telling Marinette that Gabriel is Monarch only for her to act like this is new information in the next episode. This was explicitly done so that people who missed the first reveal didn't feel left out:

Talking about previous episodes, [the writers] then say that... the 5 last episodes of season 5 (Collusion - Revolution - Representation - Conformation - Recreation) go together and there is a direct continuation between them. (However, one of their rules as Miraculous writers is that these episodes can also be watched and understood independently.)

This ridiculous rule* means that the on-screen relationships can't develop and grow as that makes the show feel too serialized. This limitation meant that Adrien and Marinette could NOT become functional friends with a developing relationship as that would require a certain viewing order. The same was true for Ladybug and Chat Noir's relationship. They could not become stronger over time. They had to stay stagnant.

Without those friendships, Adrienette was reduced to being all about Marinette being unable to function around Adrien and Ladynoir was reduced to being all about Chat Noir flirting relentlessly while Ladybug constantly shot him down. The only side of the square that was allowed to be a true friendship was Marichat because they could interact without it leading to a romance since they weren't in love, which is a major problem since Adrienette is what became canon in spite of it having the substance of unset jello. How are we supposed to ship a couple that never knowingly interacted???

This inability to have developing relationships is why the writers wrote Marinette more like a fangirl than a friend with a crush. But fangirl behavior only plays well when there's a level of separation between the fan and the object of their affections. The fan can't actually know their crush because that makes the fan feel creepy and weird. This is Marinette's main problem. The thing that understandably turns a lot of viewers off. The way her crush is written simply doesn't fit the story canon is going with.

If Marinette and Adrien had been written as true friends and were allowed to have more of those early show moments where they did non-romantic things together, then Marinette would come across light-years more relatable than she does in canon even if her actions didn't change.

It's not that Marinette never has questionable moments, she absolutely does! It's just that a lot of those moments are only questionable because of the nature of her relationship with Adrien. They would all feel wildly different if Adrien was her close friend or boyfriend.

To see what I mean, think about how much less creepy it would have been if Marinette claimed to have Adrien's schedule after she and Adrien started dating. Your instant assumption becomes that he gave it to her! You also have the addition of Gabriel's controlling nature to mitigate the way Marinette's rickshaw date plan comes across. It goes from awkwardly over-the-top to sweet because she's just trying to find a way to spend a few minutes with her boyfriend whose life is too controlled to allow for proper dates. Same exact episode setup, wildly different read because context matters.

It really is sad how much the writing failed Marinette because it's normal to be a little weird around your crush. Wanting to get to know them better and spend time with them is completely understandable and common behavior! But the writers didn't just decide to keep Marinette and Adrien from being good friends. They also decided to give Marinette an active running gag of trying and failing to confess. This gag requires her crush to be extremely active while the show's formulaic nature meant that the crush could never have true progress. This lead to the show constantly putting Marinette in awkward positions and questionable situations. It's a terrible call if your goal is to actually tell a romance. They would have been way better off to make Marinette shy and afraid to confess as a contrast to Chat Noir's bold flirting. The most I'd do in that setup is to let her have the occasional secrete admirer thing where she leaves Adrien a gift or sends him a note like we saw in The Bubbler. That way a much stronger way to play Marinette's crush.

*Quick note: status quo rules are fine in shows that don't have overarching plots, but Miraculous is a romance with an overarching plot. Both of those elements require you to have some level of serialization to your story. I recently used ABC's Castle as an example of this. Almost every episode it a unique murder mystery, but the characters' relationships progress over time. There are also several plot lines that run through the show, leading to a handful of episodes that do need to be watched in order. Notably, all of the major status quo changes happen in that handful of serialized episodes. This is the type of show that Miraculous needed to be for its main story lines to work.

[ashleyrowanthewriter]

The News - Life and Times of Ashley the Crow (Crow HRT 6)

Previous

*************

Whenever a prominent and famous otherkin announces that they decide to transition into their species completely, and especially after they finish the process, it becomes the number one hot topic among the community. That was such a day.

"So they really made it through?" Arja said, looking into the sky.

"Yes. Half the fan base is in chaos."

"Lucky them. I wonder where they are now."

"Nobody's really sure. I bet on some lonely cave in the mountains."

Something about the clouds that day felt fervent that day. The world opened a new chapter.

"You know, they were a very big figure. A lot is going on. It feels like the greatest debate in the world."

"It really seems to dislike the idea of discarding your humanity just like that."

"It always tries to stop social changes. Individual, collective, one dog."

"So how loud are those who think it's suicide of the mind?"

"Greatly."

Arja sighed. "I fucking knew it."

"But other sides are getting believers too."

"And what do you think?"

"That you're still yourself. It's just your behaviour that aligns with your body."

"That's a nice way of looking at it."

"That's what the most proves point to."

Our talk brought my mind to a topic I wanted to move for a long time.

"Arja, do you want to go all the way?"

"Would you miss me?"

"Maybe. But I would root for you and appreciate our time together."

"Even if I had to go to a lonely cave in the mountains?"

"Yes, I'd get ready for that."

"Aw, that's sweet. But no, I'd much prefer to go for hybridisation."

"I see. Then I guess you're close. You'll be mighty, I'm sure."

"Thank you, sweetheart." Arja made a pause. She wasn't sure whether or not she wanted to ask her question. "Hey, if you could do it then how far would you go? Don't answer if you're not comfortable."

"All the way."

"Really?"

"Don't tell me there were no signs."

"I mean, there were. But with how much you like to write I wasn't sure."

"I think talons and the beak are enough to use a keyboard."

I quickly realised I wasn't telling Arja the entire truth. I knew that I should be more honest.

"Well, that's what I would like to say."

"It's not just about that. My body takes anything medical worse and worse recently. I'm afraid that if I tried to do it it would destroy me. And I'm not even talking about my heart anymore."

"Eh, as if it all couldn't leave you."

"Yeah."

"But didn't you got through much tougher stuff?"

"Last time I had new complications."

"And would you like Her to win?"

I knew who Arja referred to as Her. If you are in the otherkin community you have for sure heard about a particular writer. One that really wants us gone. One that I swore to one day be better than.

"True. I can let a lot of people win, but not Her."

"Now that's the Ashley I know."

"Hey one more thing."

"Yeah?"

"Would you like me to be your pet?"

"I don't think one can keep crows."

"Well, that sucks. And I guess that's another reason why I don't know anymore."

"Hey, we can still be friends. I can leave you fruits in a feeder."

"Thanks. I don't know what I could do for you though."

"Oh, just peck on the uninvited guests."

"And without violence?"

"I'm sure you'll figure something out."

*************

My crow cooldown has ended and here I go. I wanted to write about something else and less emotionally, but I changed my plans after I saw the last page from @ayviedoesthings . I think half the community did.

Also, for those who are like me and have a hard time learning idioms, "one dog" means roughly "there's no difference" and I encountered it in Polish.

Aha. Maybe there's a good reason why you can't adopt crows in many regions of the world, but not for a constitutional homo marriage ban. Caw with me if you agree.

[tinylilacbun]

n e r d y l i t t l e k o o k ⋆ ˚ ｡ 𖦹 ˚

The second Rafe steps into the country club, your eyes are on him, a faint smile forming on your face as you watch him get settled on a sofa that's in a more secluded corner.

You take a sip of your mimosa, watching him take out a book from his bag and lean back in his seat, pushing his glasses up his nose before he flips the book open.

He has cought your attention a while ago, Rafe Cameron, the eldest and only son of one of the most wealthiest families on the island, graduated as class best and most definitely future CEO of Cameron Industries.

Rafe is uncharacteristically shy for a Cameron, as the family is almost seen on every event and being social is something he just can't avoid.

You know his sister, Sarah, she's sweet but can run her mouth if she wants to, just like their younger sister Wheezie, so it's endearing to you how that boy across the room never lifts his gaze from the book he's utterly engrossed in, completely in his own world.

Rafe flips to the next page when he sees a set of legs stop right in front of him, only lifting his head when the person coughs softly to get his attention, pushing his glasses up.

"Mind if I sit?" You ask with a gentle smile.

He stares for a second, quickly gathering his thoughts again as he gestures to free spot next to him. "Not at all, um- here." He stammers, grabbing his bag and placing it between his legs to make more room for you.

You gladly sit down next to him, telling him your name as you hold out your hand to him, which he takes without hesitation and know instantly that he seems to be nervous given how slightly sweaty his hand is.

"I-I know who you are, your father is a business partner of my dad, well- almost, he still has to sign that contract." He says, fiddling with the bookmark in his hand.

"What are you reading?" You ask, trying to change the subject, not wanting to talk about your father or his work since you have no actual idea of what he does nor do you care.

"Oh, um, it's about..." He starts to ramble instantly, and you can't stop taking in the way he keeps rubbing at his nose or has to adjust his glasses a few times, clearly a little nervous.

How could he not be? You're a sight for sore eyes and Rafe can't even fathom the fact you're talking to him.

"and it's actually interesting because, wait, sorry-" He apologizes, shaking his head and you furrow your brows in confusion. "I shouldn't bore you with all that stuff you probably don't want to know."

You chuckle at that, it's cute how he gets embarrassed for rambling his current interest. "It's okay, I asked didn't I?"

He smiles a little. "Yeah, you're right. I guess I'm just not used to, y'know, people actually listening to what I say..." He mutters, his fingers tracing over the spine of his book.

"I see...and who's that little guy?" You ask, pointing at where the head of a brown teddy bear peeks out of his bag, which Rafe quickly shoves in and zips close.

"That- It's nothing just...probably one of sister's trying to pull a joke." He tries to brush it off but you see right through him.

"Of course." You smile at him, pulling out a pen from your purse before reaching out to grab his hand.

His breath hitches at the contact, he doesn't pull away though, his eyes fixating on your face as you scribble something onto his palm.

As you finish you stand up, giving him a wink. "Call me."

Rafe watches you walk away, his smile growing even more as his face heats up, looking down at his hand where you had written your number on.

Just before going through the entrance door you glance one last time towards him, seeing how he reaches down towards his bag, adjusting the bear inside it carefully before zipping it close again.

[haikyuubby]

𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 ; h. shinso

“and i just want to know if you’re in love yet, girl.”

❀ , ✭ - fluff, some suggestiveness, female reader

𝐒𝐘𝐍: 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙨𝙤 𝙨𝙣𝙚𝙖𝙠 𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙙𝙤𝙧𝙢 𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙖𝙩 𝙣𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙤𝙜𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧…

it was 11 at night, and i couldn’t sleep.

due to my immense fear of failure, ways that i could better myself and my combat skills distracted my mind, making it insanely hard to go to sleep.

training got canceled, due to weather.

it was raining heavily, we were on a flood watch so classes also ended early today.

this meant that i’d have to do something relevant to training, or else my brain wouldn’t shut off.

what better way to do that than to sneak out and train? at almost midnight…

i get dressed, putting on some workout clothes, accepting the fact that i’m gonna get drenched by the rain no matter what i wear.

as i carefully tiptoe out of my dorm room, i notice a tall figure standing in the common room.

if i was a little bit more delirious and tired, i would’ve thought that it was the hat man.

after i step closer to the figure, i soon realize that it’s just shinso.

“shinso? what are you doing up at this time?”

“it’s early for me, i was just…”

“…just what?”

“just thinkin’. where are you heading to?”

a part of me wanted to ask him to come join me, but i didn’t wanna seem…weird?

would it be odd of me to ask him to come train with me at such an odd time of night? would he appreciate it?

“looks like you’re about to go workout? orrrr are you training?” he interrupts my train of thought.

“yeah, i am gonna go train a bit. how’d you know?” i say in a joking tone.

“well, i figured that you’d find some way to get work put in today, you never take a break.” shinso says with a lighthearted laugh.

shinso and i were extremely close, we have been friends for about a year now, and i’ve had the biggest crush on him ever since we first met.

i heard about his quirk from other people, and that’s what piqued my interest in him.

after watching shinso’s performance against izuku midoriya at the sports festival, i’ve had an interest in him ever since.

sometimes, it irritated me that he knew me so well.

“yeah, i guess you’re right. if you want, you can come with.” i offer.

“yeah sure, let me go get changed real quick.”

shinso comes back after 2 minutes, wearing a hoodie and sweatpants.

we make our way outside, and to a nearby place we could train at.

we made sure to stay on high alert due to our surroundings— you never know when another villain attack might happen or when a teacher decides to stroll outside during this time of night…

shinso and i went to a forest, figuring that a forest would be a great place to hide from teachers if we got caught outside.

our plan was to just do basic hand-to-hand combat, not wanting to draw any attention to either of us by using our quirks.

the goal here was for one of us to immobilize the other; whoever does that wins.

i lunge at shinso, trying to grab his arm to bring him down to the ground.

to my luck, he catches my hand, causing me to lose my balance and jump back away from him.

“i know you’ve been working pretty hard, y/n, so come at me with all you got.” shinso says.

“i will.”

internally, i was screaming at this.

i love the way that shinso motivates me, his words are always so powerful and thoughtful.

after about 40 minutes of landing hits on one another, we come to a stopping point.

or so i thought.

shinso darts towards me, using one of his legs to sweep my foot from underneath me.

i take a fall right on my ass, my head hitting the grass immediately.

thankfully, the part of the forest that we were in didn’t get hit by the rain surprisingly, and it wasn’t raining right now.

as i’m taking in what just happened, i see shinso get on top of me.

i realize that he’s about to win, he could just pin me to the ground now and this’ll all be over.

i see his wrists coming down to grab mine, and i fight to get him off of me.

shinso’s body weight was no match for me, teenage boys are just too heavy.

his force brings my wrists down to the ground, immobilizing me.

as i realize the position that we’re in, my face warms up.

“i thought you were gonna come at me with all you got, y/n? what happened?”

at this point, i’m feeling extremely flustered, both from embarrassment and our position at the moment.

shinso’s grips on my wrist tighten— not enough to hurt me but enough to where i can’t move at the moment.

“fine…you win…” i say, turning my head away from him.

shinso’s eyes follow my head movements, forcing me to gaze into his eyes.

this felt…oddly intimate?

sure, we’ve had some romantic moments together, but nothing like this.

neither of us have came forward about our crush on one another just yet, but tonight might be the night.

“y/n, i like you, like really like you. you’re more than a friend to me, even if i haven’t said those things to you before, that’s how i feel.” shinso admits.

the close proximity is driving me insane, the way that he looked whilst being on top of me was amazing.

“i…feel the same way, shinso.” i respond, pushing my body up closer to his.

i can now feel his breath directly on my face, his lips are so close to mine that even the slightest movement would cause us to kiss right now.

“you drive me insane, y/n. it’s taking everything in me to not kiss you right—“

“do it.”

shinso looks surprised as i cut him off.

was he really expecting me to tell him to not kiss me?

he leans down ever so slightly, and brings his lips towards mine.

i have been dreaming about this for a while now, and it was everything i imagined it to be.

his tongue licks my lips, wanting to dive deeper into my mouth.

i wrap my legs around his lower body, wanting to feel every bit of him.

shinso smiles against my mouth at this moment, removing his hands from my wrist to feel up on my body.

shinso had one hand on my face, and one in the curve of my waist.

he starts to shove his tongue deeper into my mouth, i can tell that he’s getting really into this.

my hand makes it’s way into his hair, pushing his head down closer to mine, making his tongue move even farther down my mouth.

i moan at the feeling, it’s overwhelming but in the best way possible.

shinso then starts to move his hips against me slightly, letting me feel every part of his body at this given moment.

needing air, i pull away from our kiss.

before i say anything, shinso starts.

“i’m sorry, maybe i got a bit carried away there…you just have a crazy effect on me.” he says, getting off of me and helping me up from the ground.

“no, it’s okay. trust me i would’ve did more, but you have more self control than me…” i admit, saying that last part quietly.

“it’s okay!” he laughs, “we should get back soon, it’s already been an hour.”

i nod in agreement, starting to walk back towards the dorms.

“so does this mean that we’re dating now? orrr…” i say, anxiously expecting an answer.

“yes, i’m sorry. i should’ve asked before we kissed…will you be my girlfriend?” shinso asks while grabbing my hand.

i squeeze my hand in his, happily agreeing to be his girlfriend.

as we get closer to the dorms, i can only pray that no teachers are out during this time.

[solplease]

here's something no one asked for, my ocs when they were a bit younger! :] (more like how they were in highschool lmfao) ((not aster tho sorry my king. u did not have a highschool.))

as always, close ups and more info under the cut!! OH and i put an updated relationship chart at the very end!! it's in writing this time because i thought that would be easier (it's long.) </3 i am so sorry in advance there's a lot under this HAHA

lune:

lune was a little shit, he's very rebellious now but he was even more rebellious when he was a teenager lmfao

he would CONSTANTLY get into fights, anyone that pissed him off he did not hesitate to attack

his relationship with his parents was already bad but it quickly deteriorated at this point in time

he was relatively popular in school but uh, everyone stayed away from him or tried to be on his good side because... well yk! didn't wanna get attacked..?

also people thought he was annoying but hey at least he was good looking!

he did not know he was popular btw. like at all, no idea, still doesn't know

his grades were like... okay, not great, but not bad, and he would skip class a lot... dumbass

his nails were constantly painted different colours bc cecilia would do them often, he was also never seen without a bracelet on his right wrist

huge troublemaker (some things never change!)

he hasn't really changed since then lmao

cecilia:

she was a bit more reserved back in highschool, still nice and friendly but she had a hard time approaching others because she was nervous (and others found her a bit intimidating cause she didn't smile much) ((and she's related to lune and that guy was known for being crazy))

her and lune were known as "those rich twins"

was constantly stressing over lune because of how much he got in trouble it's not like their parents would do anything about it.

kept her hair long and undyed! she liked doing different things with her hair and would try out diffy styles a lot of the time

she liked having long hair, and randomly cut it off impulsively lmfao (3 am on a school night, she couldn't sleep and was like ok why not)

good student, wasn't always at school but she was doing well

hated going to school, couldn't tell you why, just hated it

she was really awkward as a teen, but she was trying her best

always had bracelets on, if you saw her she had a bunch on her left hand, and then just one on her right.

always had her nails done (she did them herself ^^)

would always carry a few hair ties on her in case any one needed to tie their hair

one time she tried to be cool and approached a girl who didn't have a hair tie and just dropped it in her hands and walked away (she then walked out of class bc she felt embarrassed)

she tried out a lot of different clothing styles

nox:

so, he still had a shitty sleep schedule!

hard to find, he was always somewhere, no one knew where tho

good student, did not give two shits about school though

not very memorable? he was quiet and would leave as soon as he could

every time there was a group project he would ask the teacher to work alone

didn't have any friends.

his classmates were kinda scared of him lol

would braid his hair a lot

had blue on him at all times, there will ALWAYS be blue in his outfits, whether it’s the shirt, pants, or a hair tie, he always had SOMETHING blue on him (this applies now too)

no one really knew much about him, and he liked keeping it that way

fuckass edgelord (kinda)

he was always like 5 minutes late to his first class (there was a cat that would wander around in front of the school and... he couldn't resist)

he would go see that cat every day btw. before and after school, he would also go eat lunch outside so he could see the cat (and he always brought something for it too!)

loser

cassian:

very social! had a lot of friends and was very outgoing

always doodling in class

he was rather popular! and well i guess some people didn't like that

he was known as the rich kid but people were always giving him things because he was super sweet HAHA

a really bright and helpful guy

he was usually seen with a smile on his face

it's a shame how things turned out, hm?

he would bring his shoujo manga to class and just read that (he was always sitting at the back of the classroom bc he was tall so the teachers didn't really pay attention to what he was doing)

and in the rare chance his teachers saw him doing something other than classwork they would mostly let it slide, he's a good kid, so it's fine (favouritism.)

lowkey the typical popular shoujo manga male lead (wow! just like he wanted!)

really good student too, always on top of his stuff

he had these sword earrings that he really liked, he used to wear them a lot!

always wore darker and muted colours, and liked more comfortable clothing

no one said anything but they really missed him after he left, maybe if someone helped him, things would've been different

rowan:

was completely different when he was younger

always angry, or sad, no one really knew what he looked like when he smiled

no one knew what was going on with him

but he was quiet, and didn't talk to many people, he wasn't a mean or scary kid, but people were still intimidated by him

his hair was longer and uneven, it looked like he had cut random bits and pieces

he was smart but wasn't doing so well in school

it always looked like something was stressing him out

he would stay behind after school

tense and uneasy most of the time

hair super healthy tho LMFAO (his mom would oil his hair regularly!)

he was completely different around his mom though, his source of comfort

if anyone from highschool saw him now they'd think he was a completely different person (in terms of personality, since he looks... pretty much the same)

although, in the last few months of highschool, his demeanor had changed for the better, he didn't smile much still but he looked a lot more relaxed and calm

aster: (his stuff is different because he didn't have school in his world lmfao. but here's how he was as a teenager and some other info about him!)

his hair was reallyyyyyyy long when he was still in his world (you end up cutting his hair when he came here lmfao)

he was really lonely because he was the only elf in his world and he had no company whatsoever

he ended up collecting a lot of things because he would wander around a LOT

dora the explorer has nothing on him bro

he was (and is) very curious about things, he really likes to learn

he somehow learned how to braid his own hair, would spend a lot of time doing that when he was bored

he has a horrible sense of fashion, you took him shopping once and he picked out the worst fucking outfits in existence, you're basically his personal stylist cause what the hell

he likes when you dress him up though teehee

he originally saw you in a mirror he found when wandering in the forest

he became really really curious about you and accidentally yanked you to him

he was confused but really happy

blah blah blah you end up living together, we all know the story! (if you don't, you suggested he followed you because you felt bad for him cause he was PAINFULLY lonely)

you took it upon yourself to cut his hair because it was REALLY long when you first met him, he likes having his hair long though, mourned the loss of his two front strands (he will be growing them back.)

he didn't talk to you for a few days after you cut his hair for the first time, wasn't your fault... you accidentally cut off one of the front strands and had to cut the other off to make it even

fun fact about him, his eyes glow in the dark, it can be scary at times.

oh and his ears are expressive, dunno how that works but it does! and he also never goes a day without wearing earrings! he prefers the ones he came with but doesn't mind wearing whatever as long as he has earrings haha

now for the updated relationship chart! (this whole post has been about them from a few years ago but this is their current relationships with each other!)

ROWAN -> LUNE: he’s a weirdo but i’m glad we’re friends, i can handle his craziness more than most people… probably, i’d say he’s like a brother to me, but at the same time i’d probably lose my mind if he was my brother. no idea how cecilia does it

LUNE -> ROWAN: somehow he’s gotten used to me, he’s not so bad, i guess i’d call him a friend

ROWAN -> CECILIA: she’s like a little sister to me! cute! we’re good friends :] i met her through lune, they’re close! we’re like siblings the three of us

CECILIA -> ROWAN: reliable and nice! i wonder how he’s friends with lune. also. we’re the same age?? he’s real sweet tho, and he’s kind of like a big dog? haha

ROWAN -> NOX: who? :D

NOX -> ROWAN: i’ve seen him before (around the twins) he’s close to cecilia and that other guy who she's unfortunately related to

LUNE -> CECILIA: my little sister <3 we are best buddies, i’d do anything for her, she was there with me in our hardest moments, i wouldn’t let anyone hurt her, and she wouldn’t let anyone hurt me, one of the only people i’ll listen to lmao (she’s kinda scary when she’s mad at me but it’s also kinda funny?) i like bothering her but she might kill me one day though. she hides herself a lot, i don’t know why, it’s always been like this. i wonder if it’s because of me..?

CECILIA -> LUNE: dawg you’re like two minutes older than me (won’t deny the best buddies comment) he’s a really good brother though… but tough to deal with, he’s always causing some sort of trouble, but uh, well. anyway, we’re basically best friends… his words, not mine (she’s lying) he’s crazy but he’s not a bad person..? <- would defend him with her life. he’s an interesting fella that’s for sure, i’ve known him my whole life but there’s always something new with him lmfao. sometimes he comes into my room to knock something over and then he leaves, what an odd guy.

LUNE -> NOX: cocky asshole. so annoying. go to hell already. and stay away from my sister, i don't want you plaguing her with your presence.

NOX -> LUNE: fuck you insane bastard, go die.

CECILIA -> NOX: he’s pretty sweet (??????) we’re really great friends! i didn't think we would become such good friends tbh, he didn't seem to be the social type, and i'm not very social either haha... we're pretty similar i think! i can't remember who approached who first but that's fine. also, this guy has one of the worst damn sleep schedules known to man, i worry for that man. also, him and lune hate each other, no idea why.

NOX -> CECILIA: she's a close friend, i don't usually like making friends cause they end up thinking i'm weird, i don't really care about that but... i'll admit, it's nice to have a friend. she acts really differently in front of other people than she does with me, i don't think she's realized though? it's like having a cat open up to you haha, so i won't say anything. i hate her brother though, pretentious dickhead.

CASSIAN -> CECILIA: we were kids when i met her and her brother? she’s nice… and a lot like me… we still talk, she’s a good friend, thanks for keeping me company… and thanks for not asking me too many questions either

CECILIA -> CASSIAN: oh! cass is a childhood friend! we met at some event, he’s changed a lot since then, but i guess we’re more alike now? he doesn’t come out of his house much anymore, but we still text often. sometimes i see him online really late... bro... please get some sleep.... anyway, i never got to know what happened with him, and he doesn't like talking about it either, i won't pry though, because i understand.

CASSIAN -> LUNE: he’s scary, but i guess he’s not that bad..? i talk to him too, we’re not the closest, but he’s still a friend, i text him sometimes, he’s crazier than before, he was fun to hang out with when we were young, not that i don't like him anymore, he's definitely... special

LUNE -> CASSIAN: i don’t know what happened to him, but he doesn’t leave the house anymore, he’s not bad. he texts sometimes, i don’t know why because i think he’s scared of me, no idea why tho (???) i guess he’s a childhood friend? him, ceci, and i used to hang out before… well yeah, still don't know what went down

CASSIAN -> NOX: oh… i’ve never met him. cecilia’s told me about him before, lune’s mentioned him once, they have really different opinions about him

NOX -> CASSIAN: no clue, cecilia’s mentioned him before, i think he’s friends with her and… the other one.

CASSIAN -> ROWAN: another one of lune and cecilia’s friends i think? they sure are popular. (even lune???)  i dont know anything about him though

ROWAN -> CASSIAN: no idea who this guy is! 

ASTER: ??? :’D 

[maxdibert]

Hi, regarding your "People who defend James’s stripping Severus in front of the entire school" Post. I am struggling with this from time to time, but I also like to ponder and discuss so:

I really like the fandom version of the Marauders, and I honestly do not really care for Snape because in the fics and art I interact with he is usually not part of. (I also read a lot of Muggle AU etc.. And I think another huge part is that I never really thought about how young he technically still was as a teacher because of Alan Rickman´s age. As a child I simply disliked him and never had an opinion on the Marauders as they appear so little in the movies. I guess it´s hard to move on from that?) What the Marauders did in Canon to Severus, and probably other students, was horrible. I agree. I also think Snape has his faults too, but the abuse against him shouldn´t be excused "because he was mean too". If you abuse and abuser, it´s still abuse.

I guess my question is what´s your opinion on the take to like the fanon version but not the canon version?

"The lengths some people go to twist facts and canon to conveniently excuse their favourite characters’ actions because they can’t accept them as they were is honestly incredible. Or maybe they just need to tell themselves they’re not fans of a couple of rich, abusive bullies because deep down they’d feel terrible about it—who knows."

To take the potential the Marauders have, the idea of a tight friend group in a magical school, explore different family dynamics... I like to play around with that and what was made of it. I think I can do that while acknowledging that what they did in canon was bad. It´s why I struggle with canon compliant stories, like their behaviour sucked. If I only knew the canon version I would not like them because I wouldn´t like "rich, abusive bullies". But changing the characters and their actions is, to me, part of what makes fanfics fun?

And of course I could do the same for Snape. But I didn´t and there is probably a lot to unpack on why I mostly ignore him. But. ultimately, to like him I would have to change him a lot from canon too. What the Marauders did as kids might have actually been worse (?) but how he became later makes me dislike him and for the Marauders we have more freedom to interpret how they turned out as adults. (Even though I just said changing the story is part of fandom and I could just make Snape nice... There are so many contradictions in all my thoughts on this topic)

Okay, this got really long and aybe a bit all over the place. You don´t have to answer this. But if you have any thought´s I´d be interested in hearing them :) This is also my first ever anon ask and I really don´t want to fight on this topic I just have a lot of thoughts.

My problem is precisely that the characters this new generation of the fandom has invented are unbearably boring. A bunch of normie kids who dress like Zendaya and her friends in Euphoria and have average teen drama issues that seem straight out of a cheap Netflix series. I mean, where’s the appeal in that? Where’s the appeal in turning Sirius into a whiny twink who just goes around pining for Remus Lupin—who, by the way, has suddenly become some sort of sassy alpha male—when their canon dynamic is way more interesting? When Sirius in canon is a guy with temper issues who thinks that just because he went to Gryffindor and has the “right ideas,” he’s managed to shake off the stigma of being a Black, yet remains as arrogant and violent as the rest of his family? When he has good intentions but has never really confronted who he is, where he comes from, and how ignoring that won’t make his behavior any less problematic? When he’s willing to do anything for James but simultaneously capable of deliberately ignoring Remus’s well-being? When he’s a rebel but still falls into the same abusive, hegemonic behaviors he was raised in? When it seems like his opposition to his family is a conscious choice, but it’s actually just the result of his mommy issues? He’s an incredibly complex character in canon, full of contradictions, and there’s so much interesting psychological exploration to be done with him. And you’re seriously telling me you prefer an OC with his name invented by the fandom who just cries over his non-canon boyfriend and feels validated because he paints his nails? Seriously???

Are you seriously telling me that James from the fandom—the goofy puppy dog protagonist pulled straight out of every cliché teen movie—is more interesting than canon James Potter, who is blessed with the wonderful depth of class hypocrisy for analysis and exploration? Are you really saying that a flat, soap-opera-level stereotype is better to write or develop than a rich kid who had every reason to be a Cedric Diggory but chose to be a Draco Malfoy? Are you really telling me it’s more interesting to write about the feminist girlboss icon of the 21st century that you’ve turned Lily Evans into rather than a complex, contradictory female character like the one in canon: a girl from a working-class town, spoiled and adored by her parents, who finds herself for the first time in a world that makes her feel even more special but where she doesn’t quite fit because of her background? Someone who, in her effort to fit in and be recognized, creates an image of herself as moralistic and perfect, yet in truth doesn’t stand up for or care about anything unless it directly affects her? The bullies target Mary Macdonald, and she doesn’t lift a finger or say a word until it suits her to end her friendship with Severus. She’s supposedly Severus’s best friend, but at the same time, she downplays the bullying he endures and even flirts with his abuser. She’s supposedly the epitome of morality, yet she marries a bully. Do you know how much room there is to flesh out those gaps? The things that aren’t clear? The sheer depth you can draw from that? And you seriously prefer a character ripped out of a 2012 Taylor Swift song over that? Is that honestly more interesting to you?

Do you really think that the sassy alpha-male version of Remus Lupin, full of quick-witted one-liners, is more compelling than the kid who disapproved of his friends’ actions but stayed silent out of desperation to preserve the safe space they represented for him? Who felt consistently left out of the bond James and Sirius shared? Who, even when what they did seemed utterly immoral, stepped aside because deep down he was so afraid of rejection that it made him a coward and a hypocrite? Who eventually drifted away from his entire group of friends because of his inferiority complex to the point that they even thought he was a traitor? One of his supposed friends nearly used him as a weapon to commit murder, and he forgave him without a word because he knew that standing up to him might mean losing everything. Are you really telling me that the cheap romantic drama version is more interesting than all of that in terms of exploring a character and the dynamics of dysfunctional friendships within that group? Really? Are you seriously saying you’d rather pretend Peter was just “there” than delve into how they treated him like a pet because he went along with all their mischief and they underestimated him so much they never realized they had a sadist among them? You prefer a convenient, nice Peter over a dark, deeply flawed one? Really?

Yes, the dynamic among the Marauders is fascinating, but it’s fascinating because it’s dysfunctional, full of power imbalances, clear differences in the relationships within the group, and a ton of things that don’t make sense unless you provide a coherent and in-depth explanation. It’s in that dysfunction where the intrigue, the plot, and the character exploration lie—not in creating an idyllic, problem-free group of friends whose drama arises from stereotypical romantic relationships. Not in creating OCs with canon names who bear no resemblance to the actual characters and have the depth of a sheet of paper. Sorry, but no.

And sorry, but I’m not buying the argument that the Marauders are “easier to explore” just because Sirius and Remus made it to adulthood, and Thewlis and Oldman were already in their 40s when they played their characters, making them middle-aged like Rickman. And Snape was their same age and spent the same school years with them.

So yeah, it’s fine if you’re not interested in a character, but the excuse is always, “I haven’t seen much of that character to be interested in them.” Well, if you only move in your own echo chamber, and that chamber happens to be full of haters, obviously you’re not going to see much. There’s a huge Snape fandom with tons of headcanons, people constantly creating and writing all kinds of content with all sorts of pairings and perspectives on him—you just have to look for it. I mean, literally, everything we know about the Marauders is because of Snape. Their youth only exists to enrich and explain Snape’s character. If we know anything about Lily and James, it’s because they serve to fill in Snape’s backstory. Otherwise, we would have only had the adult versions Harry imagines or knows (Remus, Sirius, and Peter), and we’d know nothing about what happened before. There is no Marauders fandom without Snape, because the concept of the Marauders as teenagers exists because of and for Snape’s backstory.

So honestly, my problem isn’t with the fandom but with the new fandom and its vision of the characters. Characters that don’t exist because they don’t resemble canon and instead feel like self-inserts with canon names. And I find it a waste because canon is so rich, and its characters are so unexplored, yes, but if explored coherently, they’re far more interesting than if they’re just turned into inconsistent projections.

[inotakumagf]

strange magic

✶ geto suguru x faerie princess! reader

word count ✺ 9K

summary ✺ you were supposed to marry your fianc�� and take on the title of Faerie Queen, but somehow you ended miles from your kingdom, injured, and at the mercy of the Cursed Spirit King. oh how far you’ve fallen from grace.

warning ✺ fem! reader, hurt & then comfort and then hurt & then comfort, descriptions of injuries. i put mc through so much im sorry. very very inspired by strange magic, that movie altered my entire life trajectory. enemies-to-lovers, but they never end up kissing oops but the love is there. also i made a pinterest board to visualize the vibe im going for! reblogs & comments are very appreciated, i really want to know how y’all feel abt this one :D

You’ve never been more in love. The feeling consumes every bone and every crevice of your body. It leaves you a giggling, delighted mess, one that your servants can only roll their eyes at. But it pleases them to know that their darling crown princess has found a lover who cherishes her so much. Your love makes you careless, and it drives your personal guards mad.

Your guards, Shoko and Gojo, are dragged along behind you for each “secret” meeting between you and your fiancé. They have to listen to you read love letters aloud and sigh over your lover. But they are the only two people who can tease you about it. Their favorite activity is dramatically acting out your behavior, practically throwing themselves on top of each other as they laugh at you. You don’t mind. You prefer them and their teasing over the servants that can’t even look you in your eyes. 

As the crown princess of your faerie kingdom, there are innate responsibilities you owe to your parents and to your people. First and foremost, you are a symbol of strength against the bordering faerie domain. While your kingdom prospers thanks to the magic of the large willow tree at its center, the kingdom that borders it is a dark, decaying forest. You’re forbidden from going anywhere near it, and that is perfectly fine with you. Where your kingdom is full of life, the other brings nothing but death.

Your marriage is another responsibility of yours. You’d been opposed to it all your life. The idea of forfeiting your heart and your independence to a man and inevitably for children has been your greatest point of disagreement with your parents. You love them, and they’ve never pushed you into anything, but they’re never silent about how much it disappoints them. It made no sense to you, not until you met Naoya.

He had been enamored by you since the moment you’d been introduced to the Zen’in clan. You’d turned your nose at him time after time, but your proximity and his persistence had made you see him differently. And now, with your wedding only three days away, there’s nothing you would change. 

“Naoya!” You flutter down to where he stands by the base of the willow tree. Shoko and Gojo trail behind you, and if you could guess, they’re probably mocking you. 

Naoya turns at the call of his name. A charming smile graces his face, and he opens his arms to pull you into a hug. He takes your hand in his and places a soft kiss to your knuckles. “Princess,” he greets. Your heart flutters. You are undeniably weak to his charms.

He places a small rosebud in your hair and ushers you alongside him. “Come. I want to take you somewhere.”

He leads you to a field of colorful tulips. Garden faeries are working their magic on the surrounding land, but Naoya pulls you inside the patch of flowers. Sunlight reflects off of the flower petals, causing colorful light to shine around you. 

“I can’t wait to marry you, my beloved,” he says, leaning forward to kiss you. 

You pull away, a mischievous glint in your eyes. His eyes fly open, and he stares at you with furrowed brows. You tap his nose and fly backwards. “You have to earn the kiss. Let’s see if you can catch me, hm?”

You weave your way through the stems of the tulips, shrieking in delight as Naoya playfully chases after you. You’re good at running from him, but he eventually catches up to you. He twirls you around once he’s got you in his arms. You laugh and run your fingers through his hair.

He smirks at you. “So about that kiss?”

Gojo calls for you then from the respectful distance he and Shoko have given you. You turn towards them, just then realizing the council meeting you were meant to attend. Before you can move, Naoya pulls you closer.

“Meet me here after your meeting, okay? I want to see you again,” he whispers in your ear.

You smile at him. “My guards are going to hate you for the work you put them through.”

Naoya grins back. “Let them hate me. But…come without your guards. I want to be alone with you.”

You bit your lip at the thought of breaking Gojo and Shoko’s rule for you. But your desire wins out. “Okay, but if we get caught, I’ll blame you.”

The entire meeting, you can’t help but think about your promised plans with Naoya. Your hand constantly finds the rosebud in your hair, almost nervous at the prospect of being alone with him. You’ve almost always had a chaperone present, and if Naoya wants to see you alone…it makes you heat up all over.

On your way back to your room after the meeting, you think of how you can escape Gojo and Shoko’s careful watch. They have never let you out of their sight, and they would certainly never agree to let you out on your own. No matter how often you remind them that no one has ever or would ever try to hurt you, they take the matter of your safety more seriously than you do. Gojo is the fiercest soldier in the Queen’s army, and he’s proven himself time and time again with his loyalty and his skill. Shoko’s strength is gentler than her friend’s. She is the most profound healer in generations, and her ability to comfort you on such a personal level carries so much value for you. You trust the two with your life, and you feel so guilty for lying to them like this.

When you get right in front of your door, you pause and turn to face your guards. They stop just before bumping into you, and you want to laugh at the look of surprise on Gojo’s face. You lean back against your door.

“I’m going to be having dinner with Naoya later tonight, so I need to rest beforehand. Don’t wake me until then, alright? Thank you, bye!”

Once you’re safe inside your room, you start getting ready to see Naoya. You wear a petal dress in a pale yellow shade, because it has a peach orange center that Naoya loves. You paint your lips with a berry stain and rub fresh rose water over your skin. You stare at yourself in the mirror for longer than necessary before deciding that there’s nothing else to do. You place your pillows under your blanket and adjust it so that it looks like your sleeping form. Once that’s done, you fly straight out the open window, careful to avoid the sight of anyone who might be looking up into your chambers. 

When you get to the tulip field, your heart flutters when you see Naoya already waiting for you. Before you can fly down to greet him, a faerie you don’t know flies over to him and leaps into his arms. 

You jerk backwards, mind refusing to believe what you’re seeing. Naoya glances around briefly before pulling her closer. He twirls the faerie around in his arms, identically to how he held you this morning. You try to breathe in and out slowly, trying to keep yourself from crying. But it becomes impossible when he dips her and kisses her deep and passionately. You have to press your hand over your mouth to stop a gasp from ripping through you. You want to leave, but you just can’t seem to look away. 

She leans up and wraps her arms around his neck, tucking her face against him. “Naoya. I haven’t seen you in so long.”

He sighs. “I know, darling. But you know how impossible it is to be rid of that bitch.”

It takes you a moment to realize that he’s talking about you. 

The faerie pouts. “I don’t understand why you stay when you should be with me. You promised that you would.”

Naoya runs his hand down her cheek. “And I will. The wedding is in three days' time, and once she's dead, I will be king. Then, nothing will keep you away from me.”

You are suddenly very aware of your racing heartbeat and the weakness of your feet. Dead? This cannot be your fiancé. But it is impossible to deny the truth before you. You can’t stand to listen anymore, so you fly away before they can hear your cries. When you’re far enough away, you allow yourself to sob. You don’t care where you go, just as long as you’re far from Naoya. 

Your tears and delirium unintentionally lead you deeper and deeper into the forest. Farther and farther away from the safety of your willow tree. You hardly care or notice as sharp thorns and branches cut into your skin as you fly by. You don’t notice anything at all, not until several wasps begin flying along either side of you. 

These are nothing like the kind honey bees that live in your kingdom. These creatures take turns pushing hard against you. You do your best to weave and dodge their hits, and if they were faeries you would have out-flown them easily. But the wasps are too quick for you, and avoiding them grows harder as the forest thickens around you.

You gasp out in shock and pain as one of the wasps stabs its stinger through your delicate wing. You can hear and feel the membrane tear apart like thin paper. Your other wing folds at the pressure that it takes on with the damage to the other, and you plummet to the ground below. At least moss softens the blow, but the landing is still rough. 

You’re too numb to move. The weight of Naoya’s betrayal and the pain of your wings has you staring up at the dense tree top view blankly. Tears fall down your cheeks, but you don't have the energy left to even cry out. You just hope that the Earth will take you gently.

“Are you going to stay down there forever?” 

Your head shifts at the new voice. A faerie flutters down to stand before you. He has ebony black hair that flows in the light breeze, and he wears dark plum-colored leaves in a baggy pants style and a long sleeved top with edges that curl into a lighter pink hue. 

You sniffle and try to sit up, but your movements are stiff with the pain. “If I do, it’s none of your business.”

He smiles sharply. “Then should I leave?” 

He turns to fly off, but fear settles into your gut. You, the crown princess, are miles and miles from the willow grove. Stricken by emotional turmoil and torn wings. And worst of all, Naoya is about to destroy your kingdom, if what you heard was true. You need to do something to stop him, and you can’t do it alone. 

“Wait!” you cry out. He pauses, turning slowly to face you, a strange smug look in his eye. “I–my wings.” You try not to get emotional, but the crack in your voice is obvious. 

The man glances at your wings crushed under you and coos. “Aw, you must be in a lot of pain, huh, pretty girl?”

You’re too exhausted to snap at him for his tone. He flutters close and grasps your hands in his, pulling you up gently. Even as you stand, your legs feel weak. 

“I need to get to the willow grove.” you tell him. 

He hums. “Oh, do you?” 

You huff at his dismissive tone. “I am the crown princess, and I need to get back to speak with my court. Something terrible is going to happen.” 

His smile widens. “Oh, I know who you are, Princess.” 

Your nose scrunches up in confusion at the tone of his voice. “Can you help me?” 

He hums again. “I could.” 

Your heart thrums, and you have a strong sense that something is very, very wrong. “Will you help me?”

He stares at you for a long moment, eyes lidded as he regards you. “I won't.”

Your mouth drops open to ask why, when you notice two flitting creatures come up behind him. They’re the two wasps from earlier. They don’t attack, they just hover patiently behind the stranger, almost as if…

You gasp and try to take a staggering step back, but the man’s hands still hold yours. His grip isn’t painful, but it is strong. “You…they were under your control?” 

He smiles. “Attagirl, you’re starting to figure it out.” 

“But…why?” 

He tilts his head. “Does the Spirit King need a reason to do what he pleases in his own kingdom?”

You don’t want to believe him, but you know there’s only one faerie who can control creatures like this man can. And you know you left the boundaries of your kingdom miles ago. The reality of your situation makes you fight harder against his hold, until you finally manage to tug your hands free. 

The force of it sends you falling backwards and of course with your luck that just won’t stop, you land directly onto your broken wings. You can’t hold in the agonizing scream that tears through you when they fold the absolute wrong way. Your body is wracked with tremors of pain so white hot that you can’t suppress your sobs. You turn to lay in a fetal position, to relieve the pressure from your wings. You whimper and press your face to the ground, resigning yourself to your fate. 

The Spirit King is going to kill you, and Naoya is going to take over your kingdom. You wait for the fatal blow, but it never comes. Instead, you feel yourself lifted into strong arms. 

The Spirit King cradles you in his arms, face serious for once. He takes off into the air, heading farther away from your home. When he sees you looking backwards, he grins that stupid grin again. “The Faerie King will pay a heavy price to see you returned. Lucky me, that this opportunity fell right into my arms.”

You clutch your arms around his neck in fear that he’ll decide to just drop you. “You don’t understand. The willow grove is in danger.” 

He peers at you from the side of his eye. “Don’t you worry your little head, Princess. Your father will do anything for his precious little rose, so this ransom won’t last more than a few days.”

You slam your fist against his chest, and you nearly gawk when your hand just bounces off uselessly. “No. There won’t even be a willow grove to return to in a few days.” 

The Spirit King just ignores you and flies the two of you into a knot of a thick tree. Your frustrations grow. “You need to listen to me!”

His lip curls in disgust. “I don’t take orders, especially not in my own kingdom.” 

You huff in annoyance, but you’re too tired to argue more. Despite the way that your mind screams to stay alert, you’ve pushed your body too much as it is. Your head falls against the Spirit King’s chest as you surrender to your exhaustion.

When you wake up, you’re surprised to see that you’re not in a cell or discarded in a ditch. The room you’re in is dark, but comfortable. The bed that you've been laid on is not made of moss or rose like you're used to, instead it looks like it's made out of fabric. When you look around the room, you notice just how much stuff looks like it’s been taken from humans. You’ve seen some of this stuff from afar. Gojo has told you about the miniature furniture that humans make for their tiny handmade dolls. He’s also snuck human contraptions for you to look at, and your favorite are the glittering stones fused to metal bands that he finds in every color imaginable. There are some gems here in this room, but they’re a black-purple color that you’ve never seen before. 

They’re encrusted along the edges of a round mirror. You hardly recognize your reflection, with all the cuts and bruises that marr your skin. And you gasp at the sight of your wings. The left wing is limp by your side, and it barely twitches when you try to move it. The right one had been safe from the wasp’s stinger, but it had definitely been broken in the fall. 

You limp to the edge of the room to identify the outside surroundings. The bark wall has a small window cut into it, and you study the view. Your heart sinks at the sight of ink black trees. The decaying environment makes it obvious that you’re deep in the Cursed Spirit King’s domain. You yell your frustration and look around for something to smash. You settle on tossing the doll chair against the wall. It falls apart easily, and you sink to your knees in defeat. You pull your knees up to your chest, pressing your face into your knees as you cry.

“The dramatics are a bit much, don’t you think?” 

You glare up at the Spirit King with as much contempt as you can muster. He crouches down beside you, reaching his hand out. You flinch and scramble backwards. He keeps his hand extended, and that’s when you notice the salve in his hand. 

“You need to be careful with your wings right now,” he says. “Otherwise they’ll heal crooked.” 

“Why do you care?” You spit out angrily. “You’re the one who did this to me.” 

He doesn’t speak as he carefully massages the salve into your wings. Your spine tingles at the feeling, and you can’t help but shiver. “I didn’t intend for this to happen.” 

You scoff and pull away from his touch. “Yeah, I can really tell.” 

He stands and places the salve on the table next to him. There’s a large hand in front of your face. You look up, rolling your eyes at his faux-gentleman behavior. You stubbornly push off the ground and stand on your own, even though you know it would hurt less if you let him help.

“I’m leaving. And I won’t let you stop me.”

“There’s no need. You’ll be home safe just in time for your stupid coronation and the wedding. I’m sure your idiot fiancé is thinking himself a hero right now, searching the forest for you.” You think he may be trying to ease your mind, but the mention of your fiancé makes your blood boil. 

“Oh, I’ll kill him when I get my hands on that…that fucking weasel.” You kick the broken chair for good measure. 

The Spirit King holds out his hands to placate you. “Woah. Trouble in paradise?” 

You scowl, grabbing the front of his shirt. “You have to take me back now. Before Naoya is crowned king and he has his way with my kingdom.”

For the first time, the Spirit King is shocked by your words. “He–what?” 

His hands reach up to cup your elbows as you keep your fists clenching his shirt. “I heard him,” you gasp out. “It’s why I ended up on the wrong side of the forest. It was a ploy. His plan was to marry me and then dispose of me to become the Faerie King. And now with me gone, he doesn’t even have to get his hands dirty. It doesn’t matter that we’re not married. He’s going to be crowned in three days' time. I need to stop him. Please.”

There’s a long moment of silence from the Spirit King and if your wings weren’t fucked, you’d take to opportunity to fly right out the window. But you’re forced to wait, because you won’t get anywhere without his help. You try to give him your best puppy dog eyes and pouty lips (which work on Shoko every time without fail), but he just rolls his eyes and looks away.

“Don’t do that. Fine, I’ll take you back. But you still owe me a ransom reward.”

You nod eagerly. “Of course, whatever you want. But I have to get back before the coronation.”

He nods. “We’ll leave tomorrow at dawn.”

When he turns to leave, as if the matter is settled just like that, you grab his wrist. He looks down, then back up at you with a look of amusement. You scowl. “We need to leave now. I already wasted enough time sleeping.”

He sighs. “Princess, no offense, but you’re not exactly up for a journey right now. You need to rest, then we’ll go.”

You stomp your foot, and your fingers tighten around his wrist. “I’m not waiting. I’m going to leave this sad excuse of a kingdom today. You can come with me, or you can kiss that reward goodbye. It’s your choice.”

He stares into your eyes, and you match his gaze with your own unrelenting one. You don’t know what he’s looking for, but he must find it on your face. “Fine. We’ll leave today. After I’ve wrapped your wings. I don’t need you dying on me before I deliver you. You’d find a way to blame me for that too.”

“Fine,” you repeat. “But I’m wrapping my wings myself.”

He rolls his eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous, you can’t do it on your own. Let me help.”

You let go of him and step away. “Yeah, right. I trust you about as far as I can throw you, Spirit King.”

He doesn’t say anything for a moment, pressing his lips in a firm line. “Suguru.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“My name is Suguru. It’s much easier to trust someone when you don’t know them by such a terrifying title. Now, since we’ve been properly introduced, I’ll wrap your wings and we’ll start getting ready for the journey.”

You open your mouth to argue, but he quirks a brow and says, “You can try wrapping your wings on your own, but there’s no need to be so stubborn. If I wanted to kill you, I would have. There have certainly been many opportunities.”

You sputter, your annoyance makes it impossible for you to say anything, because you know it will just amuse him. “I beg your pardon? You can’t speak to me like that. I’m–”

“No one of importance in my domain. The flies here have more authority than you. Now, if you're done puffing your feathers and squawking at me, I’ll go get our supplies ready for the journey.”

You open your mouth to say something, but at the chance of sounding like you’re squawking, you snap it shut. For good measure, you turn away from him and fold your arms in as angry a manner as you can muster.

“Nothing more to say? Good. I’ll be back to wrap your wings in a minute.”

You so badly want to pounce on him and knock some sense into his arrogant self, but unfortunately he is the only faerie who can help you right now. It’s a shame, because you really want to hit him or pull his hair a little bit.

You’re left with your violent thoughts for only a few minutes before he returns with a packed satchel. You make it a point to scowl extra hard at him.

He jerks his head to the bed. “Sit.”

You huff. “You don’t get to order me around. I’m not one of your cursed bugs.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, Your Royal Pain-in-the-Ass. Can you please sit on the bed before I make you?”

You turn your nose at his tone of voice, but you sit at the very edge of the bed. Suguru sits behind you, and you can feel the dip in the bed when he does. You sit as still as you can as you feel him stretch your left wing open. You wince at the sharp, pin-prick moments of pain as he stitches the tear closed. Then, he spreads more salve on before wrapping both wings in soft, silky strips of cloth. 

“All done,” he whispers against your ear. You shudder at his closeness and shove him away. He laughs and stands. “I packed some necessities for you, and there’s a change of clothes inside. We’ll leave as soon as you’re ready.”

You push him out of the room to rummage through the bag. You find the set of clothing, and your nose wrinkles at the sight. The fabric is soft, but it’s an ugly set of dark grey pants and shirt. But it looks like it should fit, and you suppose it is more efficient for the journey. Even though you’re the crown princess, and you should never be forced to wear such drab clothing. While changing, you stop to consider a very present problem. You can’t get your wings through the opening in the shirt that they are meant to go through. You scowl when you realize there is only one solution. You open the door to the room, and you hate that you’re relieved to see Suguru waiting against the wall.

“Done?” he asks, stepping forward. You extend your palm to keep him back.

“I can’t get the shirt on without hurting my wings. Can you…” you trail off, too embarrassed about the fact that you need his help for such a stupid task, “Can you help me?”

He grins. “Aw, of course, sweetheart.”

Before he can come any closer, you growl and close the door so that it’s only a crack open. “You know what? I’m sorry I asked. I’ll just do it myself.”

He presses his hand to the door so that you can’t fully close it, but he tilts his head away. “Come on, I’m just teasing. Like you said, you can’t do it on your own.”

You grip the edge of the door, and you can’t help the anger in your voice as you say, “I don’t need your help. I’m not weak, I can deal with it on my own. Sorry for asking.”

“Don’t be stubborn. Will you just let me help you?” 

You don’t budge, and it makes him sigh. “I don’t think you're weak, not for this of all things. Just…think of it as penance. For, you know, attacking you. Or whatever.”

You hesitate a moment longer, but you really do need help with your shirt. You let go of the door and turn. How many times are you going to turn your back to this man? It makes you feel vulnerable, to be half dressed, and injured, and so far away from home. You refuse to look back as Suguru slips your wings through the slits on the back of the shirt, more gently than you’d think of him. He pulls it over your head too, even though you could have done that on your own. You pull your arms through the sleeves before he can do that too. You turn to face him. 

“Can we go now? We could probably cover a lot of distance before the sun sets if we leave now. Depending on how far away you dragged us from my home.”

He lifts his hands in defense. “Well, sorry. How was I supposed to know that the Zen’in brat was planning a coup?”

You stare at him. You so badly want to smack him, and it takes everything in you to refrain from doing so. “Because I told you. Multiple times.”

He shrugs. “Eh, it's all a matter of perspective, and we’ll never know for sure. Come on.”

Suguru opens his arms to you. You blink at him slowly. Does he want a fucking hug or something?

You ask him as much, and he rolls his eyes at you. “You’re ready, aren’t you? C’mon, I have to carry you.”

You take a step back, shaking your head adamantly. “Oh, there is no way I’m letting you carry me. I don’t even know what kind of…diseases you carry.”

This is all so very amusing to him, and his grin widens. “Diseases, huh? That’s a new one. Look, we can’t make the journey in two days on foot, and in case you’ve forgotten you can’t fly.”

“I haven’t forgotten,” you snap at him. “But this is not going to happen.”

“You have to admit, this isn’t so bad.”

You lean your head farther away from Suguru. He’d said all matter-of-factly that a face-to-face carry would keep both of your wings intact. So here you are with your arms wrapped around his neck and your legs pressed to his right side. You try to ignore the feel of his strong right arm holding your legs secure, with the left arm wrapped carefully around your waist. 

You roll your eyes. “This is terrible. You stink, and your hair is everywhere.”

Truthfully—and you would rather die than admit this out loud—he’s easy on the eyes, and his touch is sweet. He doesn’t tease you about your position or the way your arms tighten around him when the wind makes you waver, and you’re grateful for it. You already feel so exposed, and bless the stars Suguru doesn’t acknowledge it or make it worse. 

You don’t know how long you’ve been travelling when Suguru flies down to the soft Earth. The sun is setting, and it will be difficult for him to see soon. You eat a simple meal side-by-side before tucking in for the night. You’d found an empty log, and Suguru instructed a large spider to watch over the two of you in your sleep. You pick a space as far as you can from the arachnid, because the memory of the wasps is still too fresh in your mind. 

You curl up with your cloth-wrapped wings drawn over your body. You blame your tears on your exhaustion, and you can only hope that Suguru has fallen asleep and doesn’t hear your sniffling. 

“Are you alright?” His voice cuts through the night.

You wipe your eyes uselessly. “I’m fine. I must be allergic to the air here.”

“Right, the air.” He doesn’t sound even a little bit convinced. “I guess you’ve gotten too accustomed to the magic that you’ve stolen, and the blessings that it's brought you.”

You wrinkle your nose in confusion. You shift so that you’re laying on your back, making sure that your wings are not pinned under your body. “What are you talking about?”

You hear him scoff in the dark. “Please, don’t act like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like you don’t know.”

The urge to slap Suguru just gets stronger and stronger every moment around him. “Hey, Bug King. I have no clue what stolen magic you’re talking about, and your attitude doesn’t make it better, you know.”

“You really have no clue?”

“None. Will you tell me?”

There’s a moment of silence, and you think he might have fallen asleep. 

“My kingdom isn’t meant to be like this. It was beautiful, once. The decay of my domain is a curse of magic. For generations, your willow tree has been siphoning the life of my kingdom.”

Your eyebrows furrow. “That’s not possible. I think we would know if the willow tree was taking its power from your kingdom.”

He doesn’t respond, but it’s an answer enough. 

“Wait, you think we’ve done this? On purpose? That’s…that’s ridiculous.”

“Is it?” He asks, and you falter. You can’t think of that reality. “Clearly, you have no part in this. Yet, at least. But when you’re queen, your father will probably let you in on the family secret.”

“No, no way. He wouldn’t…” you hesitate when you think of your father and what he is capable of, “I would never allow that.”

Suguru sighs. “Sure, Princess. You say that now, but a queen does what’s necessary for her people.”

“I’m serious. If our willow is causing this…decay of all of this land, then I have to put a stop to it. It’s a bastardization of everything that we do for Mother Nature.”

It’s quiet for a long minute. Finally, you hear rustling from Suguru’s side. “You should sleep. We have a long day of traveling ahead of us.”

Suguru refuses to continue your conversation from the night before. Why, you’re not sure, since it’s quite obvious that this will be the favor he asks as his reward for your safe return. You think it makes sense to discuss it now, because you agree with him. Clearly, he doesn’t feel the same way. He avoids the topic like it’s the plague. You tried apologizing in the morning, and the look on his face made it obvious that the topic was off limits. Still, you make the effort to be kinder to him, considering the fact that your kingdom has turned his own into a wasteland. 

He stares at the horizon as he flies, keeping an eye out in case Naoya’s search has crossed onto this side of the border. This task allows him to ignore you, much to your chagrin. You give up on trying to catch his eye, instead turning to look down below. Your eyebrows furrow as you consider Suguru’s revelation from yesterday. The trees you fly past are withered beyond repair, but the closer you fly towards your kingdom—your willow tree—the less dead they look. 

You can’t believe that you’ve been misled your whole life. How many people hold this secret? How many people know the truth—that the bordering faerie kingdom does not cause its own decay because of its people’s use of dark magic, rather it is because of your kingdom. It makes you feel sick.

A high-pitched call pulls you away from your thoughts. You squint into the distance, where the sound had come from. There is a bird flying towards you. Your eyes brighten. This must be one of the search party’s birds, come to take you home. You lift a hand to call for it, but as it gets closer, your heart drops. 

You turn to face Suguru, who is watching the bird with narrowed eyes. “You don’t happen  to know that particular bird, do you?”

He doesn’t answer the question, but you don’t need him to. The bird, which you can now identify as a black kite, does not look friendly in any capacity. 

Suguru glances at you. “Hold on tight, Princess.”

You don’t need to be told twice. You wrap your arms around his neck, and you can feel him wrap his arms around you in response. As the bird approaches, he dives sharply. It shoots above you as he weaves through the treetops in hopes of it losing your trail. You scan the sky above for sight of it as Suguru focuses on the view ahead. There’s no sight of it above, which you find awfully suspicious. You open your mouth to say as much, but the bird suddenly slams into the two of you from the side. The force is so unexpected that it knocks you out of Suguru’s arms. He reaches out to grab you, but the kite has other plans as it nips at him with deadly intent. You can only watch in horror as it attacks him, unable to do anything as you sink to the ground below. Again.

This time, you land in an icy stream of water. The force of the fall steals your breath away. Your wings are like dead weight as you struggle to the surface. You do your best to swim to shore, fighting against the strong current. It tries hard to knock you off balance. You scramble for purchase, grabbing out desperately for something to stop your movement. Finally, your grip closes over the stem of a dandelion, and you haul yourself to solid ground. You cough up water and try to catch your breath. At least Suguru had made you wear pants, otherwise you never would have made it to shore. Your body jolts to attention at the thought, and you're surprised at the amount of worry that courses through you at the thought of the Spirit King. Your teeth are chattering and your shoulders are shaking, but you stand and examine the skies above for any sight of Suguru or the kite.

You desperately want to call out for him, but you don’t in fear that Naoya is still out searching for you. You look around, desperate for a glimpse of him anywhere. Yes, you’re worried that you’ll be lost and unable to return home, but if anything happens to Suguru, you will feel responsible. Even though you’ve been unsuccessful, your eyes swipe over the treetops once more. Still, you have no luck. 

“What are you looking for, Princess?”

You gasp and turn at the sound of the voice. It’s Suguru, hair ruffled and body scratched up, but alive.

“Your ride is here,” he says sarcastically, as if to diffuse your worries. You grasp him in your arms and pull him into a tight hug. His hands hesitate, but then he wraps his arms around you, careful of your limp wings.

You rest your head against his chest as you look up at him. “I thought you were dead.”

He gives you a sharp grin. “You can’t get rid of me that easily.” But his smile weakens as he says, “When I saw you fall and then disappear, I…I’m glad you’re not hurt.”

You bury yourself against him to steal his warmth, still shivering from your swim. Suguru notices, because he presses his mouth into a firm line and says, “We should make camp for tonight. I’ll build a fire.”

You want to protest, because you’re so close, but Suguru doesn’t relent. He builds a quick fire to sit you in front of it, and then he disappears. You don’t worry for long, because he returns and drops warm fabric over your shoulders. You clutch it to your chest, looking at him curiously. 

“Spider’s silk,” He explains. 

You nod and nuzzle into the comforting fabric as he adds to the fire. “Do you control the creatures, when you tell them what to do?” You ask. 

Suguru tilts his head. “Do you control your people? It's much the same. They do what I ask, because I am their king.”

You snort at the thought. “They hardly listen to me. Gojo and Shoko only do what I want if I ask nicely and only if they feel like it.”

At his questioning glance, you continue, “My personal guards. Well, they’re my friends, really. They’re probably going mad with worry because of me.”

You feel guilty all over again at the stress you’re putting them through. You stare into the fire, pulling your legs up to hug them against your chest. You hide your pout against your knees. 

“They must have…interesting personalities, in order to keep up with your antics.”

You scoff and reach an arm out to shove him. “Shut up, I am perfectly tolerable!”

He evades your touch easily, grinning at you. “Tolerable? If you say so. But if you give them half as much trouble as you give me…”

You can’t help but laugh at him. “Please, they’re so much worse than me. You should see Gojo when they bring out sweets at any event. He’s like a vacuum. And he always teases me like it would kill him not to make fun of me. And Shoko! Oh, you’d think she was an angel compared to me and Gojo. But the things she says under her breath would make clan elders keel over and die at the vulgarity. She knows exactly what to say to tear someone apart.”

You pick at the material of your pants, which have dried from the warmth of the fire. “I think you’d like them.”

“They sound fun. You really care about them,” his voice is soft, but it carries in the night.

You sigh and peer up at the night sky, as if they will appear from thin air. “I’m not very good at showing it. All I do is make them worry about me. I make their job so much harder.”

It’s silent for a moment, and you really wish you hadn’t said anything. Then, Suguru’s large hand is on your shoulder. You look up at him, and he gives you a small smile. “From what you’ve told me, it seems like they match you very well.”

“But like you said, I’m a lot of trouble.”

He sighs. “I didn’t…that’s not what I meant. I like that you give me a hard time.”

You raise an eyebrow at his words. “Really?” You say incredulously.

“Really. Maybe it’s weird, but I like riling you up. I like to argue with you, and I like that you argue back.” 

“You are weird,” you agree, grinning at him. Your breath catches when you realize just how close the two of you have gotten as you talked. You try to ignore it, but the heat of the fire just intensifies the warmth in your stomach and the fast beating of your heart.

Suguru looks down, eyes flickering from your lips to your eyes. The way his dark gaze sweeps over your face makes you shiver. The two of you lean even closer, and you nearly brush against his mouth. You can feel his warm breath tickle your face as he says, “Is this alright, Princess?”

Something about the way he uses your title makes you pause. It makes you think of Naoya. And once you start thinking about him, it's hard to stop. It makes you overthink this moment with Suguru. You pull back quickly. Suguru looks into your eyes with a soft expression on his face. “Are you okay?”

You laugh in disbelief. Are you okay?

“I’m so stupid,” you mutter. You stand suddenly, stumbling away from the faerie next to you. 

Suguru lifts a hand towards you, but you slap the hand away. “Don’t touch me,” you warn him. “Don’t.”

His eyebrows furrow. “What happened? What have I done? Let me fix it.”

You rub a hand over your face. “You’re just like him. I have something you want, and you’ll do anything to secure it. You don’t have to butter me up, I’m already going to give you your ransom, your kingdom’s magic, whatever you want. Do you have to be so cruel? Just leave my heart alone,” you beg.

Suguru sucks in a sharp breath. “You think that’s what’s going on? Princess–” 

You shake your head and reply coldly, “This was a mistake. I’m going to sleep, to prepare for our journey tomorrow.”

You don’t stop to hear him out, because you know just how weak you are. He’ll easily convince you that you’re overthinking, but you don’t want to think logically about it right now. Not when your thoughts have been overrun with Naoya’s betrayal. You find a spot far from the warmth of the fire and Suguru. You sleep facing away from him, curling into yourself for comfort. This whole trip, you’ve been foolish to trust him so easily. You’ve allowed yourself to crave something you can’t have, and you’re determined not to make the same mistake again. 

Ever since you landed in Suguru’s kingdom, you’ve been nothing but a weak, useless thing. You’ve given him too much control over you, and you cannot give him your heart on top of everything else. Even as you avoid him, it is his spider silk fabric wrapped around you, his clothing that you wear, and his handiwork that has mended your wings. He surrounds you, and you hate it.

You ignore him the next morning as the two of you eat a quick meal. You ignore him during the rest of the flight, and you ignore him even as you arrive at the willow tree on the day of Naoya’s coronation. 

You want to be more offended by your parents for giving their power to Naoya after only three days of being missing, but you know they have very little choice. Today is the Spring Equinox, and without an exchange of power now, your kingdom will produce a very barren Spring bounty. You've been preparing for this day since you were old enough to understand the duties required of you, and Naoya is about to take all of it away from you like a gull snapping up fish. 

You storm down the halls inside the willow tree with Suguru hot on your heels. You can hear him jog to keep up with the vicious path that you’re on. The closer you get to the grand hall, the better you can hear the singing of faeries, and it makes your anger bubble hotter and hotter.

As soon as the oversized doors of the hall are in your sight, you extend an arm out, causing the doors to fly open with the force of your power. You’ve been trying to conserve your strength ever since the injury of your wings, and the rush of magic through your veins feels so, so good.

The loud bang of the door turns all the attention on you. Hundreds of eyes bore into you, and you can hear the gasps of shock and the whispers that run amok. But your eyes are locked on the figure standing proudly on the dais. His grin melts away oh-so-fast when he sees his fiancé back from the dead. Your grin widens, and you tilt your chin downwards. You hadn’t thought it would be this satisfying to see Naoya staring at you with such horror.

You take your time stalking towards him.

“M-my beloved! You’ve returned to me!” He’s dedicated, even now, which is quite impressive. Maybe he doesn’t yet know that you know of his betrayal.

The platform gives him height over you, so you step onto the dais and circle around him. The closer you step towards him, the more he steps back, until he stumbles down the steps of the dais. You smile, looking down at him. 

“Are you surprised to see me? It would have been so easy for you, if I had stayed missing so you wouldn't have to kill me yourself.” As you expect, gasps ripple around the hall at your statement.

Naoya falls to his knees before you. “Darling, how could you say such a thing? I have been searching for you faithfully.”

You laugh carries in the room. “Faithfully, hm? Were you faithful when you took a lover during our entire relationship? I heard you that day. I know exactly what you intended to do. Did you think you would get away with it?”

His carefully expressed face breaks as his lips dip into an ugly scowl. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“No? Am I not the bitch you courted?” You throw the insult back in his face.

You feel powerful, with him on his knees before you and all your people. You’re so distracted by this success that you don’t notice the way his hand wraps around the handle of his rapier. 

Suguru does notice though, somehow, because as soon as Naoya pulls out his blade and stands to cut you, Suguru has already moved. He grabs a rapier from the sheath of a guard and blocks Naoya’s weapon. You stare up at his back with wide eyes, almost shocked by his speed. 

He turns his head to you slightly. “Princess, you should get out of the way now.”

You blink to attention and step off the dais as Suguru easily presses his strong arm down, forcing Naoya to exert twice the amount of strength. So many guards surround you, yet they all watch the fight, entranced. You understand why. Suguru moves effortlessly, as if he’s merely putting on a show for the crowd. Every movement is smooth and intentional, and it doesn’t hurt that his muscles ripple beautifully. 

In contrast, Naoya scrambles with each of his strikes, barely managing to keep up with Suguru. It’s pathetic to see him like this, and you can’t believe that was the man you almost married. Maybe he did you a favor by trying to orchestrate your assassination. As you watch the fight, you vaguely register the fact that they’re moving towards you. Unfortunately, Naoya notices this fact too, and he reaches out desperately. He manages to grab you before you can evade him, and he holds you in front of him. His sword presses against your neck, and you wince at the feeling. 

“You should step back, fiend. Before I cut her throat,” Naoya taunts, which is definitely a mistake on his part.

You can feel the point of his weapon drawing blood, but Suguru moves so fast you nearly miss the look on his face. He stares at Naoya with so much murder in his gaze that you’re certain he’s seeing red. Naoya is knocked down before he can hurt you any further, and Suguru is before you before Naoya hits the ground. The anger in his face has melted into concern. He reaches out, cradling you gently. His palm presses against your cheek, and you lean into the touch. 

You only get one moment like this before you can hear Gojo and Shoko call out for you. The sound of their voices pulls you back to reality, and you suddenly remember where you are, and who Suguru is to everyone in the hall.

You pull away from Suguru to greet your guards. They bow their heads in greeting, and Shoko starts saying something about how they were worried about you, but you lean forward and pull the two of them into a tight hug. Your arms curl around them, and you’ll admit that your eyes tear up a little bit. You can feel both of their arms hover over your back before they relent and hug you back even tighter. You don’t have to guess the moment when Gojo notices Suguru behind you, because you feel his arm stiffen around you.

You get pulled behind him as he pulls his rapier from its sheath. He extends his weapon with one hand, and the other spreads out protectively.

“Drop your weapon,” he tells Suguru, ice seeping into his words. You step forward, but Suguru is already surrendering. 

Gojo pushes Suguru down to his knees and Shoko is immediately beside them, lifting her sword until it presses under his chin. She uses her blade to tilt his chin upwards, staring down at him with disgust.

You beg them to stop. “Don’t, please.”

“Highness, this is the Spirit King. Don’t worry, he won’t be able to hurt you anymore.” You groan at Gojo’s loyalty.

You rush forward, placing your hand on his bicep to calm him down. “Satoru, don’t. He saved me, he brought me back home.”

Gojo clenches his jaw. “Why were you in his domain to begin with? Why are you hurt? I can’t—I won’t let him go.”

“It was my fault, I ran because of Naoya, and I got myself hurt and lost. He saved me. You must stop this at once. Please.” A little fib never hurt anyone, especially because Gojo would never stand down if he heard the truth.

Gojo glares at you for a moment, but he finally releases Suguru. “Fine. But you’re in a lot of trouble, Highness. Sneaking out of your room? What were you thinking?”

“I wasn’t,” you admit. “But you can scold me later. There’s someone else that you can imprison.”

You jerk your head over to the pathetic form of your ex-fiancé, who is moaning and groaning on the ground. You can tell that your guards don't want to leave your side, but they turn to deal with Naoya, giving you a moment alone with Suguru.

 “Thank you,” he says softly. “I should leave, before they change their minds.”

Your heart freezes. “Leave? But I haven’t given you your reward yet.” 

He shakes his head. “Maybe at first that was all I cared about, but now it's different. I know you don’t trust me, but I never want to use you, or make you feel like I might. I don’t care about your magic, or your wealth. I just–I care about you, Princess.”

“You…” You don’t know how to respond, but you grasp his hand before he can even think about walking away. “Why would you leave then, before I can tell you I feel the same way?”

His eyes widen slightly, but he shakes his head. “You can’t. You have a kingdom to lead, and I have mine. Our paths are not meant to cross.”

But they already have, you think.

The words rush out of your mouth before you can second guess them. “I want you to be part of my council.” 

Even as they’re out, you don't regret them. In fact, you mean them even more, when you see his surprise.

It seems like all you can do is shock him. He laughs in disbelief. “They will never allow or accept that.”

You shrug. “I don’t care. I’ve learned a lot from you these last few days, and it only makes sense that you have a seat at my council, when families with weaker titles have positions they don’t deserve. Besides, I need your help to figure out how the willow tree has been taking your kingdom’s prosperity, and how to return it.”

You’ve found a way to surprise him yet again. “You can’t…Your kingdom would not prosper as much as it does now, if you did that. You must think of your people.”

You hum in thought. “Well, I guess I’ll have to find ways to strengthen my allyship with the bordering kingdom, then. You wouldn’t happen to know how I can send a message to the king? I am meant to be crowned queen, you know.”

Suguru looks at you, and it makes you want to say anything, if it will make him stay here, with you. He leans forward and cradles your head between his large palms. He stares at you through heavy lids. “I think I can get him to agree.”

[martyryo]

Okay

I don't do..anons. so yes, just gonna ask this as me‼️ Hello‼️‼️

When

Right okay, I saw your art like the yellow red one right and I saw you talking about your tulpa in that and it took me a second cause at first I thought you were doing a Collab with someone and I was looking for a tagged account or something 😭😭 and then I was like hang on it's not been tagged so it can't be that. And then I saw the hashtag about the tulpa thing and my brain was like, I've heard that term before. And I had, but it was cause of Supernatural. Think the episode was Hell House, either way in that course some kids draw a sigil and don't know what they're doing, spread a rumour and enough people see the sigil and believe the made up story for it to become real. I'm gonna hazard a guess that this isn't what's happening here. Cause 1. No axe murderers are present and 2...idk. suppose it wasn't on accident lol

But basically, what I'm asking is, what's gone on? Like please could you define what a tulpa is cause I'm a tad bit confuseled. I've got a grasp. A jist if you will. But yeh, that, and how it works for you and how long all this has been about for because yeh, the original post confused me a lot and I had no context to understand what was going on lol

Hiii!!!!!

Ok so, never watched supernatural cause I lack media culture, but I looked at the fandom wiki and I assure you it's NOTHING like that 😭

Ik the practice of creating a tulpa comes from buddhism and is related to religion and stuff, but like I found out about it through an online friend back in 2017ish cause they developed one. Needles to say, in these cases we're talking about the western interpretation of the phenomenon that is mainly psychological and not spiritual.

With a tulpa you bascially create a sentient being on a subconscious level that shares the body with you. Please note that this is not in any way related to conditions such as DID, as you do not have the splitting of a subconscious, you actually add more of them into a body. And an important aspect that separates tulpae from alters is that with a tulpa you're fully aware and consensual with having a second person inside the body, you will never accidentally develop a tulpa out of the blue.

To make an example also, imagine there's a wheel with a hamster inside, they represent respectively the body and the subconscious mind that inhabits it. Now imagine there are more hamsters but they're in the same wheel. That's a body with more subconsciouses (I might be butchering this word I'm so sorry).

Needless to say, doing this requires a long trail of meditation, as one needs to focus on everything they perceive out of a person normally (the way they look, talk, move, smell. you get it, everything) and obviously their personality. These things do change with time once the tulpa settles as a stable part of the host's (the one who creates them) life, but at least sketching down the idea of the person that you're creating helps in the overall process.

Ok so. The most important part. A tulpa is NOT evil, and cannot be evil. That's something I found out in the guides I followed at the start of my journey with my first tulpa. They have no reason to turn over their creator cause they are meant to be companions. I'm not super informed on the theory thing now cause I got into it two years ago and since then we've just been living, but there articles online who talk about this so feiughirgh

Now, in my experience Jack came to be part of my life around two years ago, on july 9th. I was going through a weird depressive period where I would not talk to anybody and felt like shit over nothing. During that time I also used to watch fight club a lot, like three times a week, and grew obsessively attached to the characters to the point all I thought about was fc (this feels so weird to remember omg). Anyways, remembered about my friend with the tulpa, and decided to do the same thing. So I got informed on the procedure and gradually managed to develop Jack over time :3

On the 27th of Trevor also started developing, in his case it was Jack that went throughout the major part of the creation process cause I was busy with school, but yeah since then it's been the three of us living life yk.

Also, I obviously got better since that summer, them being with me helped me out a lot and obviously I didn't create them with the intent of getting. Free experimental therapy or some shit. They are part of me and I love them ver very much, knowing that they're always with me brings a sense of sheer comfort in my life. I just love my bros man. Then again, I suck at communication so there are days when we talk less. nonetheless we still interact via concepts or through the headspace (mental landscape where they pretty much live when not fronting).

Oh, also lately we've been aware of the fact that Jack is kinda always fronting (fronting is having control of the body btw kewnkfkgb) during the day when we are in silence at a school or on the bus, while I am the one that keeps the conversations with people (ironic ik). Trevor instead has no interest in the outside world, he just stays in the headspace and works as a mechanic apparently (he doesn't tell me where his workplace is also??? like for no reason at all also, I can't find that fucking place no matter how much I roam around).

Ough ok I know I sound a bit insane saying those things, but that's how it is 💨

With tulpamacy there are so many aspects one can discuss, but again, there are guides online where everything you need to know is explained, and they are explained better than whatever ramble I'm putting down here. I'm not an expert of the field, I just happen to be living it yk.

Sorry for the long and I guess confusing post, there is much more stuff I could tell you about but like. I think this manages to get the overall idea of how we work out 😸

[starberry-cupcake]

I'm trying the post-it method and it's really messy but, if it helps, I'll keep it up, because I feel like live-reading doesn't help me out with processing this as much as going back on notes does...god, I sound like palmolive...

previously, in nona del 9:

this happened

this is the general tag for all the recaps I've done

CHAPTER 8 (third house skull, which, I guess, but tangentially)

sriracha girlie from school is still on the case and asks nona to up her game in the surveillance task and pretend she's on a radio call

she doesn't elaborate but I doubt it'd help nona understand much anyway if she does

she's just happy to help

nona has to put little boots in the six-legged dog's feet before going out into the scorching heat, though

it's the summer here, so I feel you, noodle

(bonus info: our new puppy apparently has been aptly named because she has 0 fear and is trying to jump into the pool head first like a maniac)

so nona, because she has no preservation skills either, just like our puppy, thinks is a good idea to pretend like she's talking to coronabeer

she still calls her "crown", but it doesn't make me feel any more ok with her pretend calling coronabeer of all people

wasn't she with BOE and whatnot? what if the enemy is listening?

she invites her to her birthday party on the beach

and I might be too cautious but I know better than to share so much information in the wild outdoors where someone could listen

like 'I'm gonna be in this location at this day, please come steal from me or whatever'

maybe it's just my latine self talking, but be careful out there

how do they trust this girl to not be a hazard on her own?

she's like 8 years old

oh, great, I sound like mercygirl now

nona starts drowsing off and a bible chapter comes in, which people have told me is her sleeping

gonna remind everyone I didn't find that out on my own

that's not a victory for me

JOHN 15:23

"Whoever hates me hates my Father as well" is the bible verse in this one

well, then

I haven't read the bible this much since I was in my second school (out of 4)

so here we are again with dr. reverend emperor john buttface's monologue

there's a distraction tactic possibility to get him killed, if we ever need one

he mentions the eye color change as things get weird with their experiments

and says cassiopeia?? potentially? or cyrus? told him he looked like edward cullen "from that old movie twilight"

like I'm not gonna clock dr. reverend emperor john having read twilight with his own two changing eyes

so dr reverend emperor john the menace and his terrible lyctors start doing awful things to the corpses that aren't rotting

allegedly due to dr reverend emperor john "loving them"

whatever that means

and the corpses remain undamaged

what I'd like to point out here is that these people are deranged and god awful even when they hadn't been 25 million years old

this is them brand new from the package and they're all either terrible or complicit in being terrible

I think cassiopeia is the only one visibly suffering but still, man

these people were always like this, this isn't some "we've been out in space so long we've lost touch with our humanity"

happy out of touch thursday, this is you, this has always been you

dr reverend emperor john starts talking about touching the corpses' hands and feeling them even when they aren't there with him

mercygirl is doubting his sanity

yet still they all followed him to hell, so who's crazier here

they picked two corpses, a guy and a gal, to make more specific experiments on, and he named them ulysses and titania

titania after the shakespeare character

ulysses not after the greek hero

and by controlling their hands from across the room I guess they discover necromancy

he's still talking to harrow through all this

CHAPTER 9 (sixth house skull, but at what cost?????)

sriracha girle tells nona that, after her imaginary phone call with coronabeer, the ceaseless watcher left the building

literally

nobody knows what this means but sriracha girlie is still on the case

then they start hearing shots outside and everyone has their safety precautions but they're all bored about it instead of afraid

wish this was just a fiction thing and not the current world

so everyone gets picked up except for sriracha girle, as ush

camilla comes to pick up nona from school and gets pastries (aka facturas, where I'm from)

camilla is doing the lord's work here

she got them by selling out pyrrha's cigarettes, apparently, which I find a great exchange but I don't smoke, so I'm obviously team facturas

then, we get a nona flashback from a month prior, about the Event which prevents them from going swimming anymore

they used to go to the sea at dusk to have some private time with the water

and by them I mean nona went swimming, because the sea is filled with deadly jellyfish, so they'd kill a regular person, but not nona

she can swim with the jellyfish, which sounds beautiful, actually

the whole swimming description is so relaxing and beautiful and I am hating this heat but I'm grateful for the swimming opportunity it provides

swimming is great

swimming with jellyfish without dying must be great

relaxing moment for 3.5 seconds for everyone

of course things can't be relaxing for too long, this is tlt we're talking about

nona sees some people surrounding camilla and guesses it must be the police

which, in every universe, is a Problem

tons of police men surrounding one woman, yeah, doesn't look great

but I was fine because this is camilla fucking hect we're talking about

no cops at pride, just camilla and knives

nona can't hear their conversation but, at one point, she can hear camilla say "speak House"

which ??????????????????????'

doesn't sound good AT ALL

nona sees one of them pointing a gun and warns camilla, which earns nona a shot through the shoulder

so then, when nona resurfaces, she finds everyone lying motionless and camilla squatting on the sand

and I was like "of course my baby did that"

but then nona looks at her and she's got one camilla eye and one palmolive eye

and is talking like camolive is some sort of dragon ball fusion

they ask nona not to freak out

I'm freaking out

camolive's timer starts going like crazy and they ask nona to drive them home

camilla comes back to herself at this point BUT

she's bleeding everywhere

like, blood coming out of her skin

it's everywhere

nona asks her to get palmolive but camilla says they can't

so nona has to drive them home in the middle of the night with the blood and the salty water and the potential police following

nona thankfully can manage and pyrrha says camilla is in thanergy shock

she says they can never do that again and that if palmolive wasn't sharing a body with her, she'd be kicking his ass

AND I WOULD BE TOO

PALMOLIVE, I SAID IT LAST RECAP, MAN

YOU HAD ONE JOB

KEEPING CAMILLA SAFE

WHAT ARE YOU DOING??????

camilla asks them to not tell palmolive she was "weak"

pyrrha drinks in camilla's honor while she's recuperating and nona asks her why she said goodbye to her if she's gonna be fine

to which pyrrha asks how does she know she was saying goodbye

basically, camilla is not dying but she's also not fine

which I got from the very heavy bleeding, thank you very much doctor pyrrha

if something happens to camilla I swear to whatever god that isn't the monologuing prick in the sleeping chapters I'm gonna go feral

PALMOLIVE I'M GOING TO CHASE YOU DOWN

AND THAT'S IT FOR THIS RECAP!!! I think the post its system is better for me?? I'll figure it out as I go. See you on the next one!!!