#the moral of the story is you can egt away w ALMOST anythig in this city

[sydmarch]

15

what’s the weirdest thing that’s happened to you? 

ok SO i’ve definitely told this story before on here it’s a long one so i’ll do my best to trim it down

like 5ish years ago i was walking to the train afetr doing some shopping and this guy around my age stops me to say something about my outfit idr. it’s mid summer so very hot & this dude is wearing teal eye makeup, platform sneakers. no shirt, and shorts made out of a hospital gown. we start talking abt fashion & stuff and he asks if i’ve ever been to this trendy thrift store that’s nearby & i say i haven’t so hes like wanna go shop? sicne i was lowkey goign through a crisis in my life at the time being a recent graduate w no job & no idea what i was doing w my lfie i was like fuck it so we went

in the thrift store we both picked out some stuff & while i was trying thigns on he was like lemme see so he came into the dressing room (i was like ok sure bcus he was extremely gay) but the employees were like hey you can’t do that. also you’re not wearing a shirt so you need to leave & i was like ugh just borrow mine (since i was wearing a shirt i had tried on) so he puts it on & they kick him out anyway so im like COOL and had to buy a shirt in my bra so they could ring it up and the cashier was this absolutely beautiful girl so i was like ok. great.

anyway i go outside & find him and im like gmme my shirt back you can wear this dress i bought so he puts it on & we wander around a bit more then randomly pick up these two other girls we meet on the street who need to go to the garment district to buy some stuff so we all get in a cab and go.

once we get there we go into this wig store and are like looking around but when they won’t sell this dude (idk why i havent said his name eyt its matteo) a wig for a discount he FLIPS OUT like throwing thigns around so we all leave. shortly after that the two girls manage to dip & im thinking yeah i should try and dip too this dude’s unhinged... but there wasn’t really an opportunity to leave bcus it was just us & i didnt want him to turn on me

so he suggests let’s go to (other thrift store that’s like 5 blocks from where we were at that point) and im thinking perfect i’ll get him to go in a fitting room then run for my life. on the ay there he’s like saying crazy shit to random people, steals someones cigarette that they were smoking, steals water bottles, etc. at one point he goes to cross the street when we didn’t have the right of way nd this taxi starts honking at him so he tosses his purse to me and JUMPS ONTO THE HOOD of the taxi and is like you wanna go so bad bitch go and the cab driver takes off. with him on the hood.

since im holding his purse im like fuck i guess i have to follow this cab and give it back??? so im chasing this taxi like oh my god. and these andom teens are like yo omg is that your friend he’s awesome! im like what’s happening. he gets down off the taxi and is all huffy and im like oh my gooood ok just get to the store.....

but on our way he starts talking to some lady outside an office building and follows her inside i’m just standing near the revolving doors watching as he tried to egt in the elevator w her and shes like i need to go teach a class you cant come wtf... and hes tugging on her umbrella and she’s yelling “stop this was a gift from my dead mother” and security escorts him out and looking back i couldve ran then but i was too invested. what could possibly be next.

we start walking towards the thrift store & when walking apst this outdoor seating area he steals a glass off someones table so a waiter comes over & like throws him onto the ground and they fight a bit and matteo is like i want the police. im like you absolutely do not youre going to get arrested. of course there’s a cop just like hanging around on a nearby corner so he goes over to him and is telling him abt the waiter and the cop is like ill call a patrol car over go wit by the restaurant.

the restaurant is right by the office building umbrella lady was in so of course as we’re walking back in tatdirection she’s elaving the building and sees us and runs over to matteo freaking out, the waiter omes over and starts yelling too, and then i swear to god a car pulls up and its the CAB HE JUMPED ON and the driver gets out and starts yelling at him. finally the cops show up and everyone’s yelling and matteo is going on this rant like you’re all evil!!! and they cuff him and the cab driver’s like how can you be friends w someone like that im like im not he’s like i saw you with 4him im like we just met!!! im in over my head!!!

the cops were asking me a few questions like did you see him take anything im like no. heyre like you can tell us you won’t get in trouble im like FOR REAL NO lmao like he could’ve been on something but i didnt see him do anything. anyway can i get my dress back. theyre like didnt you say you mt him today im like yeah. theyre like why is he wearing your dress im like i loaned it to him at the thrift store can i get it back. they took my number down but never called me about the dress it was only $5 but still