#the moment i saw that art my third eye activated

[einsatzzz]

nekobari au where hibari gets turned into that one merch of him as a cat boy for no reason at all other than for my entertainment ft kana

nekobari...save me...nekobari...save me nekobari

[crescentfool]

What are your ryomina headcanons? I've loved these two since I played P3 FES, and I'm so excited to get back into the fandom^^

hi!! thank you so much for the ask, welcome back to the p3 fandom, it's always a delight to see new and old ryomina fans alike! 🥺💛💙

as for headcanons, here's a "few" i that i tend to come back to a lot! my interpretations of them are influenced from both the source material and other's fanworks, so i've linked to them as i saw fit! hcs in no particular order under the cut because oops this got long (900 word bullet point list, mentions of reload content up to 1/1)

minato's hair is dyed blue (hair originally brown, you can see it in his roots!) and he has a beauty mark on under his left eye. i like mirror imagery and there's definitely a few arts i've rb'd that portray them this way :) (e.g. this one by feliichu and this one by marasschino)

as far as i'm concerned the bathhouse scene from the manga where ryoji's hair down = similar shape to minato? that is canon to me. this art from xierru is a fun depiction of hair down ryoji :D

ryoji is homeless. everyone say thank you foxmulder_whereartthou for this awesome fic it's why i have the headcanon! but like seriously. we have no idea where ryoji lives and i could believe this.

minato dying at the end of the game is sad to an outsider's POV BUT!!! ryomina gets to be together in death for the rest of their lives (this illustration from mafuwara is a gorgeous representation of them as nyx avatar + the seal)!

speaking of the seal, they are like telepathically communicating to me in the great seal together. (mymp3 had a comic wip with this. give it a looksie :D)

ryoji likes cuddling with minato because he's warm :) (something something orpheus has fire affinity, minato is warm by extension and ryoji is cold because he's death)

ryoji's camera roll is filled with pictures of minato! ryoji... loves life, to me. and i feel that photography and journaling are perfect ways of expressing gratitude and capturing the moments in life that are most important to you :3

my other favorite activity for these two is stargazing- i feel like it's something they could appreciate either in life or death (looking at the stars from the great seal...)! they do a bit of this in the fic eurydice's vow by crescentmoontea (P5R spoilers, takes place in third sem it's a very fun fic concept).

between ryoji and minato i feel like ryoji was the one who fell in love first- and it doesn't really click in place for minato that he loves ryoji until december hits (appriser reveal + ryoji transforming into thanatos). its about the realization that ryoji was with him for his whole life and that he gets him like no one else does.

ryoji is like a sad and wet puppy who is so scared minato won't like him back. he is so scared of being rejected by minato to me like. this boy straight up deflates after he does his "i know i said i wanted us to be friends, but... i actually want to be something more." / "what about you?" on 12/1 ???

AND SPEAKING of wet puppy ryoji. ryoji is like. every animal in the world to me. he's a bird. he's a cat. etc. and also ryoji knows every language in the world ever and uses it to express his love for minato. see this fic from superheroics to see what i mean.

both of them are lactose intolerant. "this isn't lactose, it's milk!" i definitely think ryoji would make himself sick eating ice cream and milk he doesn't know what lactose is. (i made a silly poll about this once and the tags were very entertaining.)

i see minato as transmasc or nonbinary depending on the day (schrodinger's headcanons babey they're simultaneously true and not true at the same time!!). either way he's not cis to me and ryoji is like. His Gender. anyway go read this fic by nail_gun for t4t ryomina :D !

ryomina are WEIRD GUYS TO ME!!! they are so strange and they understand each other better than anyone else because of the circumstances of their relationship!!! if you asked them to do the "i wonder what i taste like" meme i think they'd start biting each other (affectionate) tbh but that's just me.

after ryoji gives minato the music box in 12/31 on reload, minato listens to the music box every night in january. this boy has insomnia and also chronic illness to me (things that housing death does to you). but i think he finds comfort in the melody and memories he made with ryoji.

in general, i think it's fun to imagine minato taking ryoji to places and show him things he's interested in! i feel that ryoji takes a lot of interest in minato's life, this isn't really a hc because in reload, minato DOES give ryoji a tour of the school (11/9) and possibly port island (11/12). but ITS CUTE OK! (tangentially related fanwork: this series of doodles from vinnigami: 1, 2, and 3)

not a hc but minato's kindness is like the backbone of their relationship and i think we would not have the ryomina we know and love today if minato wasn't such a kind soul. oh minato.... we can learn so much from you... like ryoji did!

anyway! that's all the hcs that i could think of, thank you for the ask! i had a lot of fun answering this, these two mean a lot to me 💛💙

i hope you don't mind the links to the fanart and fanfic as well, the fanwork people have made for ryomina have really made an imprint on me! if you want to see more of them, i definitely recommend looking through my tag for them because oh. i got a lot of them reblogged alright 😂 (<- SOOO NORMAL)

[anima-nostrae]

Ups, I forgot about my WIP

A curse as old as time, isn't it? A fanfic, an essay, a story, a piece of art...

The beautiful thing is that there is no deadline for passion projects. They can lay dormant for a day, a month, or a decade, but they come to life just as fervently as loyal old dogs that greet their owners when they come back from a boring but life-giving job.

That is to say, I am proud to announce Days of Reckoning have been picked up again, if there is anyone here that cares for them. I would hazard a guess that Chapter 3 will be live by the end of the month. In the meanwhile, here's a sneak peak (this is an unedited version, therefore might differ slightly from the "published version"):

If the temperature inside the cottage could be classified as breezy the previous evening, then the morning was assuredly cutting. The second Bloom opened her eyes, with one being covered by a duvet she had to throw over her face sometime in the night, she wanted to curl up even tighter into herself, suddenly missing her grandmother’s favourite hobby, knitting, and particularly discovering the art of weaving herself into a tight woollen ball. The very next thought was that she had to be smelling burnt toast, since that particular charring process is, at least to the nose, unmistakeable. The third thought was that she was in the goddamn cottage, and not alone but with…

With a groan that was just a tiny bit exaggerated she rolled over onto her back and sat up straight, still wearing the protective cocoon all around her trembling body. Her eyes were lacking their usual sharpness, hence why Bloom couldn’t be convinced that she saw Valtor cooking in front of her. 

He didn’t mind her much, focused tightly on his fried eggs and probably very much less than fresh toasts with butter, all of which the stars themselves only knew where he got from.

“Erghm,” she cleared her throat. He turned around like a startled fawn, a reflex probably polished by hundreds of battles and assassination attempts. All he found was a half-naked woman, freezing on the bed they made love in the night before. The same woman he fought for many months, the same woman he’s wanted for more than that.

“Morning,” he said, in the most curated monotone.

“I didn’t know you…” she started, but hesitated, “cook.” Nevermind the first thing that came to her mind was eat.

He returned her a slight smile. “I don’t like to, usually. I simply refuse to be dependent on someone because of my lack of skill.”

Bloom took a moment to appraise him - having her enemy before her the morning after they had each other in turn was not something that would happen any other day. His hair wasn’t a complete mess like she would expect, but it wasn’t the shiny wave it was normally. He was shirtless - with his jacket on, but shirtless nonetheless. Bent over the stove like a—

He was shirtless because she was still wearing his shirt.

Something in her brain that hadn't acknowledged Bloom was already awake decided it was a fair thing to return him his property - it was his shirt, his silk against her skin - so her palms made their way to the collar as she was making rounds with her neck to warm up the stiff muscles. The silk was already past her elbows when the cold hit her directly and Bloom understood she was very much awake. Just like him.

As she was working her way up she realised how pitiful she must’ve looked. Cold, so probably red - nevermind blushed - with morning hair, actively performing a striptease before Valtor, who very mindfully and pointedly was admiring the view outside, but his sly smirk betrayed how much of the show he’s actually witnessed. 

“I thought you’d sneak a peek,” Bloom tried to seem unaffected, but more importantly - not embarrassed - which granted her a rare, and before the previous night unknown, pearly laugh. The kind that makes you show all your teeth and shudder your shoulders.

“Oh, I wouldn’t. Bloom, I am a powerful wizard, and a man, but before that - a gentleman. And,” Somehow, his eyes gained an intensity otherwise improper between a pair of lovers during their first shared morning, “There is nothing you can show me now that I haven’t committed to memory already.”

Bloom broke the stare first, trying to concentrate on the fire instead of this man. He was right, he already got everything.

“That is to say,” he continued, clearly sensing her unease, “Don’t think that I would ever dare to forget even a centimetre of you. A second of you. Now, please dress yourself and come to the fire. The eggs are getting cold, and so I think are you.”

Now that was a convincing argument, Bloom thought, as his previous train of thought remained uncontinued by both of them, seemingly in agreement. But those goose feather bedding seemed much cosier than the proximity of the fire.

“Can’t I have breakfast in bed?”“If you want to sleep in stains for how long we’re staying here, yes. Otherwise - come here.”

Some sweet little fluff huh? Do we like it? There's not much of it coming up, so savour it while it lasts.

[flowerwiththemachinegun]

Misconduct Chapter 4

For the ending portion i didn’t write in an outfit cause well, personally i like to leave the reader the freedom to add in their own style. Not everyone would like/be comfortable in my own preferences, so I try to allow for freedom on your end. (also cause some fics ive read i say im not wearing that)

Of course Tseng confiscated the PHS. Gifting Genesis with another one and sending him off to training as there was ‘still another hour left’. Though, not before chewing Genesis out for nearly ten minutes on why he should constantly be in the loop for any activity or extra measures being taken in regards to your case. Taking time out to point out that it’s also a ‘safety concern’. Though Genesis was suspicious that Tseng was trying to sneak in petty things to provide Genesis with the reasons he was in this predicament. He certainly didn’t seem to be the most excited to work with the SOLDIER. 

The room the class was held in was dark when he walked in, interrupting what appeared to be an Intro to Materia video. For once Genesis didn’t appreciate all eyes being on him as the room full of Third Class SOLDIERs looked over at him.Gaining more than a few puzzled looks as Genesis made himself comfortable in the desk across from the instructor’s. This is probably the first time he’s felt awkward making his presence known, quite familiar with being the center of attention. Despite this, he wasn’t going to hide in the back, Genesis having always been the type to sit at the front of any and every class he attends. Looking around the room and meeting everyone’s gaze with a disapproving scowl, prompting everyone to quickly refocus on the video. 

Leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed with a huff, legs spread apart wide enough to call it a whorish display. Quietly regarding the instructor at her position in front of the projector screen, fully expecting her to continue teaching. An eyebrow raised in question as she stared back at him with an excited look on her face.

“Is there something you need?” 

Offering a brief apology before explaining that she had a discussion with Director Lazard and Tseng while they added Genesis into the training program. Inquiring if he could assist in the training of new recruits with materia handling along with a Materia Fusion training starting tomorrow. His level of experience, expertise along with his rank and accomplishments being the source of her request. Deciding to mention the lack of inclusion on making decisions on his behalf the moment he saw either one of them.

An odd proposition considering he was placed here partially due to the mishandling of materia. Though, it would be a bit of an upgrade from being a student. In his mind taking it as a leadership role. The idea of teaching helped heal a bit of Genesis’ currently bruised ego. Giving a few visual presentations in the near future didn’t sound like a horrible plan, “Sure, I suppose I wouldn’t mind while I’m around.” What would be the harm in giving a helping hand? Besides the ancient training video they were watching hadn’t changed from the year he became a third class. It was unbelievable they hadn’t updated a single thing to progress the teachings of their soldiers on how to use something as vital as materia. Maybe that’s why SOLDIERs like the Fair boy were becoming a little more common. They didn’t even bother to share new information with their educators, how could they expect the next coming wave of SOLDIER to be of any use.

The materia instructor was clearly overly excited about this opportunity. Whether it was out of genuine delight for teaching the arts of materia or if it was the way she was openly fawning over Genesis in front of everyone had yet to be determined. Resuming her current lesson plan after thanking him profusely, occasionally receiving input or a correction in terminology from Genesis. He truly didn’t mean to offend the instructor. Frankly, she appeared to be trying her hardest. There was no getting around the simple fact that the information was from an old program. It taught the basics at least. 

Lingering around to discuss his role in teaching the class to the instructor. Genesis wasn’t one to deny such a gorgeous individual of his attention, considering she was clearly seeking it out. Easily standing over the short blonde woman, her straight light blonde hair framing her face and falling well past her shoulders. Light blue eyes admiring his features as he approached her desk. Her anticipation was clear as day as Genesis stood in front of her desk with a mischievous smirk tugging at his lips. ‘I could have a bit of fun with this.’ 

“I apologize for being so rude. I don’t believe I caught your name, love.” Genesis’ flirtatious smile comes off as inviting as he grins a bit more, showing off his perfect white teeth as she blushes under his steady eye contact. Her eyes darted down shyly at his question. 

“Erva,” she timidly responds, her voice now a far contrast from the confidence displayed during her lesson. 

‘A beautiful name for a beautiful woman.’ His eyes trailing along her soft features, round face and big eyes partially hidden behind bangs. Genesis wasn’t looking for anything remotely serious but there was no harm in a bit of flirting. Perhaps he could bring her home for a night if her personality appealed to him as well, so far she seemed more than sweet enough. “Well Erva, I’m honored to assist you as long as I remain in your presence. I was thinking I could bring some training material of my own. I’m sure I have more than enough information to provide, it would make for a better guide than the standard Shinra issued tutorial.” 

Erva, doing her best to contain her excitement at the thought of the, Genesis Rhapsodos, creating a lesson plan that would improve the knowledge of those to come. Dually this would further her own learning, being given an opportunity to delve a bit deeper into such an important subject. With a starry eye gaze she nods her head, her enthusiasm coming off as endearing to Genesis. “Of course, if there’s anything I can help you with, please, don’t hesitate to let me know.” 

She couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of Genesis' mouth when he mentioned he was “honored” to teach alongside her. Erva nearly had a hard time understanding Genesis would see this as a positive thing, thinking he would have to be heavily coaxed into putting in that kind of time and effort. 

Extending a gloved hand to Erva, a sense of bliss overcame him as she daintily took his hand in her own. Her features reddened deeply as he shook her hand, still not missing a moment of eye contact. Thanking Erva for having him attend her class before exiting the small classroom. 

“Genesis!” 

Turning his head to acknowledge whoever would be so rude they would dare shout at him in such a way, or at all for that matter. Genesis’ eyes rolling as he sees the source of the unnecessary noises bounding towards him. “Fair.” this wasn’t the same warm aura he had a few seconds prior upon spotting Zack. He didn’t dislike the Third Class, in fact he had grown fond of Zack and his puppy-like ways. Even going out of his way to teach Zack a few tricks from time to time. Typically things Angeal didn’t approve of Zack being shown quite yet. There was a reason it took nearly a year for anyone to let Zack within 20 feet of the materia room without use of the buddy system. Kunsel often the one to supervise Zack on his way through the portion of the building.

Zack was practically shaking with energy, bouncing from one foot to the other. His expression of constant excitement still plastered all over his face. “Angeal has been looking for you everywhere man. Somethin’ about you leaving the other day and you haven’t spoke to em since. What’d he do to you?” Zack didn’t actually think Angeal had done anything wrong and if he did that would certainly come as a surprise. Yet, never the type to point the blame on anyone, also being a bit curious on the matter as a rumor had been going around Shinra that Genesis was taken off duty. He had no information on his current situation and needed to pry a bit.

“Nobody has done anything to me, Zack,” it felt like an absolute lie to say. It had nothing to do with Angeal anyway, Genesis had no ill emotions held to either of the First Class SOLDIERS. “I’ve been busy with a new assignment.” 

“Oh really? I heard you were relieved of your duties. Anyways, gotta get going, training and all of that. Later!” 

Watching Zack’s retreating form for a brief moment, Genesis’ brow furrowing in concern at his words. ‘How would Zack, of all people, know that.’ It didn’t bother Genesis too terribly, after all, he was on assignment. He was working under the Turks for a while, that was all. To think this would even turn into a rumor was outrageous. Already having in mind to pay Angeal and Sephiroth a visit, making Genesis’ need to do so double down as he immediately heads towards their shared office. 

Borderline power walking to their office once he left the elevator. The door flew open, hinges creaking in protest as Genesis burst through the door. The occupants momentarily stunned as the tension in the air thickened as Genesis slammed the door behind him. 

“Who told Fair I’ve been relieved of my SOLDIER duties? I don’t recall it being any of his business.” 

The initial shock quickly wore off as Genesis speaks, replaced with annoyance on Angeal’s part. The reaction earned a smirk from Sephiroth, he hadn’t communicated with Genesis since the day he pushed his buttons at the elevator. He barely did anything to tip Genesis off in his eyes, teasing in the same manner their banter usually consists of.  

“How would we know? You haven’t talked to us since you got back from your mission.” Sephiroth’s voice rang out as he set his pen down. Giving Genesis a look of confusion, his smirk disappearing at his accusation. Genesis could see right through his deception, not being fooled by Sephiroth’s words in the slightest.

Angeal huffs, exchanging a knowing look with Sephiroth, their expressions suggesting they knew more than they were letting on. The subject on hand wasn’t something that should have been a big deal. They knew Genesis wouldn’t be happy to hear he was the topic of the latest Shirna gossip. It was inevitable as other SOLDIER members talked amongst themselves as they saw Genesis was removed from several upcoming missions.

Assuming Genesis heard a version of the story that had been twisted in order for it to seem like something worse than the reality of it all, Angeal attempts to smooth over Genesis’ anger before he went off the deep end over something so trivial. 

“We didn’t hear any details, we heard you were being taken off of any assignments for the foreseeable future. We’ve also been informed by Lazard that we aren’t to attempt to utilize you for SOLDIER roles as you work under Tseng until further notice,” Angeal explained in hopes that it would disincline his red haired companion from making much of a ruckus about such a petty thing. “I was hoping you would be in the mood to finally tell us what’s been going on.” 

“It’s kind of not fair to leave us in the dark like this. You would expect an explanation from us, no?” Sephiroth was right, Genesis would fully have wanted to know every single second leading up to now, fully expecting the only thing to stop them from talking about work have been confidentiality clauses. Even that was a big maybe. 

“I-” picking his words wisely as all three of them know the likeness of any conversation held in the building are more than likely recorded. Especially in more private locations through the building such as the offices. Genesis expression displaying annoyance once he realized he couldn’t freely vent. “Are you going to lunch at the typical time?” 

“Yes, same place as well.” Sephiroth replied knowingly. Cogs turning in his head as worry takes over, concerned as to what the future of Genesis may entail. He didn’t let it show physically, leaning back in his chair comfortably as he looked Genesis over from head to toe. Seeing that he appeared physically fine at least pacifying some of his concerns. 

“I’ll meet you there.”

Sephiroth and Angeal patiently waited at the booth in the back of the small diner. From the looks of the place one wouldn’t think that any of the Firsts would dare stop there. While in nice, clean condition the interior was extremely outdated. Still clinging onto the vintage style that’s probably been around since the day it was built. Six red booth seats lining the left side of the small business. A wooden bar with stools lined up along the counter situated along the right side of the establishment. 

“Always the last one to show up,” Angeal shifted in his seat as Genesis sat in the booth beside him. “Is everything okay?” 

“Yeah,” Genesis wasn’t sure where to begin. He damn near had not a single clue what was going on. While he did receive a lot of information on his new assignment, he couldn’t help but feel left in the dark. He would’ve cracked a small grin at Angeal’s jab at his punctuality if it wasn’t for him genuinely making an attempt to be there in time. “I had to get rid of that stupid phone Tseng gave me. He was blunt about tracking my location, no doubt he’s sitting at his desk listening to me all day.” 

“This is already sounding worse than what I was expecting,” Sephiroth said, his eyebrow raising, lips parted as he was following up with another statement. Leaning over the table, forearms supporting his current posture, speaking in more of a hushed whisper than he previously had been. “Nod if you need help.”

“Yes!” Genesis announced nodding his head vigorously, still trying to maintain a low tone but he couldn’t help the stress bubbling out of his soul. Earning a puzzled look from both of his companions, anticipating the rant they knew was to come. 

“I have no idea what the fuck is going on. All I know is I’m supposed to follow some bitch around for Goddess knows how long and possibly be their friend so I can get information from them.” Genesis props his elbow on the table, thumb placed on his temple as he rubs his forehead in a display of distress. “It’s like I’m their newly appointed probation officer.”

“So it’s an espionage mission?” Sephiroth asks, feeling suspicious of the task the Turks and Lazard set Genesis to handle. 

Angeal interjecting the conversation this time, “They’ve always been notorious for telling us little to nothing whenever they ask for help. I can’t say I’m surprised they’ve got you going in blind.” 

Genesis couldn’t say he was going into this without knowing a single thing. He’s found out a lot about you, rather everything Tseng wanted him to know about you. Explaining to Angeal and Sephiroth what occurred during the discussion between Lazard and Genesis that led to this point. Giving an in depth explanation of your background and what you’re currently known ties to the increase in crime on the top plate. The only thing missing was the oversized file Genesis received for this. Making sure he doesn’t skip details about the requests Tseng has made as far as keeping tabs on you The mentions of using Genesis to assist in pinpointing a drug dealer leaving the other two stumped. “Can you imagine my disbelief when I learned I see this person more or less everyday in traffic, let alone living within walking distance of me?!” 

Quieting himself down when the waiter behind the bar eyed him curiously as he wiped down the counter. He was quite adjusted to these three coming in for lunch or a general meetup. Taking the silent cue from Angeal’s lingering eye contact, the waiter enters the back room in order to give the three more privacy.

Crossing his arms while making an attempt to relax in his seat, Genesis’ back pressed against the soft red cushion of the backrest. “Tseng says, when they move, I move. I've done nothing to deserve this.” The sight was teetering on childlike behavior. Letting out an exasperated huff as he slumped in his seat.

Genesis could've had it worse in both Sephiroth and Angeal’s perspective. It wasn't the greatest thing in the world, but Genesis didn't have to do anything besides solely focus on this one assignment and a bit of training? The downsides being he would constantly be on call alongside with the inability to leave Midgar on a whim. But how often would Genesis really be leaving anyway. Sephiroth’s statement wasn't meant to be a jab at Genesis’ situation, rather an astute observation. 

“Genesis, you destroyed a historical landmark.” 

“And blatantly ignored orders…again.” Angeal quipped in, immediately earning a glare from Genesis.

“Who’s side are you on?” Genesis sounded insulted at being called out by Angeal’s additional comment.  

Angeal didn’t get to entertain a response, the words dying on the tip of his tongue as he saw the bright red hair of Reno in his peripheral vision. He’s not even sure he heard the usual chime announcing when a new patron has entered. It only took a few seconds before Reno made his way through the small space, his destination clearly being where they’re seated. 

Rude followed through the door a split second after, taking his position beside Reno and nodding at the three as a silent greeting. 

Pulling out the PHS from the inner pocket of Rude’s suit, handing it back to Genesis while giving what everyone could only assume was a disapproving look behind his shades. “I’m sure you’ve been informed how important it is to keep this with you at all times.” 

If being traced down by these two wasn’t bad enough, the moment Reno grabbed him by the shoulders to physically pull him out of his seat by the pauldrons was worse. Hearing Sephiroth’s light chuckle at being handled in such a way by Reno sent Genesis further down a path of anger, pushing against the eccentric Turk as he was brought to his feet. 

Embarrassing was certainly the word for it. Taken off guard by just how strong Reno was, his grip unrelenting in Genesis squirmish. Giving him a light push forward down the aisle as Reno let him go, following behind Genesis with Rude in tow. “We don't like having things added to our to-do list. No hiding next time.” 

“Do not touch me again,” Genesis’ voice carried an unspoken threat, as he was ushered out of the door, not even being allowed the time to say anything else to Sephiroth and Angeal. 

“We have to get you ready, you have a big night ahead of you.” Reno states, a hint of mischievous coating his tone. 

Gears were turning in Genesis' mind as he made an attempt to set his anger to the side and figure out what the next turn of events could possibly hold for him. “What do you mean by that?” 

Genesis' eyes narrow at the statement, stopping in his tracks before they could urge him further along. 

Reno, who couldn’t seem to keep his hands to himself, once again grabbed Genesis by the shoulders. His grip was more gentle than the first time, but maintaining a closeness that made Genesis' skin crawl as he was urged in the direction of their car. 

If the list of reasons to rip Reno’s hands off wasn’t already long enough in Genesis’ mind, taking notice of the vehicle Genesis purposefully left at Shinra extended his reasoning by miles. Parked horribly and with the convertible roofing tucked away giving away that clearly someone had been enjoying themselves. 

“You stole my fucking car?” Genesis was damn near speechless for once in his life, firmly believing there was no possible way this could have been allowed. The look on his face screamed ‘let me speak to your supervisor.’ 

Rude finally decided to speak up while he rounds Genesis’ car, “You gave us a reason to, by hiding your PHS, not in the smartest place either.” Getting in the passenger seat, Reno following and to the utmost displeasure Genesis could imagine, despite the list of ongoing annoyances, Reno jumps over the door and into the backseat, gesturing for Genesis to be their driver. 

“Let’s go! You have work to tend to.” 

**Reader POV**

By the time you finally woke out of your slumber the sun had gone down, the living room now cloaked in darkness, the only light coming through your window provided by the patio lighting and soft moonlight. 

Sitting up, rubbing your eyes groggily as you try to regain your bearings. ‘My only off day and I slept it away?’ The rest was needed, but there were things you needed to do. Not conventionally fun for you, but now it was too late to turn down the invitation to a party you’ve already accepted. 

The scene was far from your type, never one for big social gatherings but at times being guilt tripped into going or calling yourself doing a favor for a friend by showing up. This party was no different, the knowledge that it would be held on the top plate made the circumstances slightly better. Still, there was no doubting it would be in one of the shadiest bars they could find. 

Keeping in mind that the “party” is supposed to be a small gathering. ‘Not how that usually works.’ You couldn’t push the reality of your upcoming night to the back of your mind. These gatherings always ended in some sort of rowdy fashion. 

Lazily climbing off of the couch and making your way to the bedroom with the half hearted intent of getting dressed, piecing together an outfit that you found to be suitable enough for a night full of unexpected turns. Looking over the outfit choice you nod your head in agreement at your own lovely taste. ‘Yeah, I could get hoes in this or fight them. Choice is theirs.’ 

Passing through the bedroom, you enter the connected master bathroom. Setting the shower to the perfect temperature, hopping in and taking your sweet time to get ready in the hopes of arriving late. 

This gathering was just as insufferable as all of the others. Finding yourself nursing a drink by yourself at a table tucked away from the night’s rowdy events. You weren’t that insociable that you wouldn’t greet your friends, providing them with the bare minimum amount of conversation you could before quickly taking time to unwind away from everyone else. A few drinks would be sure to get you in a friendlier mood, at least that was the hope. 

As you tilt your head up to finish off your first drink your eyes couldn’t miss the unmistakably good looking man who happened to catch your attention. Not an occurrence you came across frequently, mainly lacking interest when it came to messing around with people in general. However you could appreciate eye candy when you spot it. He seemed a bit overdressed for a bar like this. Despite it being on the top plate it was far from the nicest bar around.

Clad in a fairly expensive looking black suit, red dress shirt adding on to his already sharp looks.  Reddish brown hair stood out to you, tall and perfect ocean blue eyes to top off a very well put together…‘SOLDIER’ 

The mako glow of his eyes becomes more prominent as you examine the mystery man. Seeing him gave you a deja vu like sensation, you were unable to put your finger on it, but you were positive you’ve seen this guy before. As you were lost in thought checking out a total stranger, you didn’t have much time to tear your eyes away as he met your gaze.  

Now that he’s caught you red-handed it seems as though you’ve acquired his attention. Mako blue eyes grazing over your features making you squirm in your seat. ‘Fuck, now he’s coming over here’

***********

shoutout to my coworker for not wanting to go to a party, you helped me make this easier to have them cross paths for the first time

How dare I forget props to a very beautiful man who helped ke come up with Erva

[soranihimawari]

24-hour smudge proof

A short about something I saw earlier:

Word count:

Pairing: friends->lovers: kuroo x reader

Rating: 17+

Warnings: two 18 year olds have miscommunication & make out

Notes: in my inbox drafts for a while…unedited 😑

𝖴𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗍𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝖺𝗅， 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗂𝗍’𝗌 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖼𝗅𝗈𝗌𝖾𝗌𝗍 ．𝗀𝗂𝖿 𝖨 𝖿𝗈𝗎𝗇𝖽 𝗍𝗈 𝗁𝗈𝗐 𝖺 𝗌𝖼𝖾𝗇𝖾 𝗌𝗍𝖺𝗋𝗍𝗌

You remember the first time you tried the new Revlon Color Last lipstick. It was advertised as a 12-hour formula for lasting lipwear. Smudge proof. You nearly hugged your television when you turned eighteen. Y’see your school and even your parents were on the side of “no make up unless special occasion (or club activities for festival days)” where as being in the makeup department for theater and arts club were the specialty clubs excused.

You loved to paint, more with eyeshadows and foundations, yet here you were at eighteen, sprucing up your natural makeup with a Sakura-pink hue. It’s the most flattering pink you own outside of Barbie doll fuscha and not as mature as Snow White Red which came out that year. Contrary to popular belief, you had just been asked out on your first date by your classmate since middle school—he played a team sport and on good faith asked if you were free Saturday night. Mentioned he’s been thinking about confessing for a little over a year now, so you agree. Today was just a test date, you remind yourself in the mirror. Liking each other has little to nothing to do with this. Little do either of you knows you’re about to embark on learning a more intimate part of the other.

So, you board the nearly packed train to the aquarium. A few minutes go by and you see him at the entrance. He’s dressed just as casually as you are, and you notice he has a small token in his hands. He hands you the hair pin with a cat on it.

“Flowers were too expensive,” he sheepishly apologizes.

“Thank you,” you smile telling him it’s alright. “I think these are way better Tetsurō.”

You’re calling him by first name? His heart nearly falters at that. Blinking golden irises mask the blush forming on his cheeks. Jesus, you should warn a guy when you’re gonna call them by their name, his inner voice says.

“You look cute,” he gets his bearing right.

You compliment his outfit too. He holds your digital tickets on his phone and a polite, “shall we?” is heard.

You hold his hand as you take the lead in guiding him in where you want to go. Both of you explore the monthly exhibits and the classic shark aquarium. You take photos together with a seaside frame. He keeps the bottom two that print and the top two go to you; you’re securely tugged into his side and the bashfulness in your closeness is masked by a near kiss when your lips almost mark the corner of his mouth. He slyly teases you by smiling a bit wider a little more shocked in his expression on the second picture. maybe it’s your favorite one because for a moment, though brief, you can say with confidence, Kuroo Tetsurō, Nekoma Third Year, the scheming captain, had eyes only for you.

The rest of the date goes on as sweetly planned. It ends around dinner time and you coincidentally knew of a small French restaurant that won’t break the bank. He walks with you, talking about how excited he is for inter-murals to start.

“I’ll be there,” you smile. A small fist is raised moderately high and you hear him chuckle.

“You better be,” he holds your hand and pushes it down.

“Kuroo…,” You don’t fight the comfort his hold brings. Rather, you relax your hand in his.

“YLN.”

“…I, how can I say this?”

You’re nervous, he can tell by how tense your shoulders are becoming.

“I’m not the one you should be here with,” you say after exhaling a deep breath. There is a brief look of embarrassment on his features. Still worried about that? Why? He ponders.

“If you’re implying I should be here without you, then perhaps I wasn’t very clear when I asked you on this date,” Kuroo leans forward to bring a kiss to your knuckles. “I lied about using you to go on this date because I liked someone else.”

You feel your blush only adds to the stunned look you give him.

“Eh?!”

“Shh!” An elderly couple hushes you, unaware of what had transpired. Kuroo shrugs and you lean back uttering how you’re going maim Morisuke for gossiping behind your back.

“Hey, hey,” Kuroo brings your out of your two step plan to ruin Morisuke’s chances overseas as a joke. “Breathe.”

You do exactly that and as you calm down, you hit your head on the table with an a abhorrent thump!

“Should I come back?” The waiter had graciously brought you your meals, but alas, when your non-date-date explains, the server just rolls their eyes saying it’s the fourth time this week. You nervously laugh saying to come back, apologizing for the scene.

Over the course of the meal, Kuroo is an open book to any and all questions concerning his newly formed affection for you.

“About a month ago?” You nearly choke on your chai tea.

“Promise you won’t beat me up too?”

You nod. “It depends.”

And so, Kuroo enlightens you the thing known as ‘the list.’ All captains of the sports team have a yearly list of people they think are highly attractive.

“It’s for the yearbook, that’s how it started,” he explains.

“…okaaay…?”

Then it dawns on you, someone put your name on the list. That someone being the jerk who couldn’t take no for an answer.

“And I told him no one can have you unless I try first.”

“How chivalrous of you,” you muse, yet you have a darker expression set in. Kuroo thought you were angry about being on the list, you were, but that’s not why.

“So you basically asked me out to save me the embarrassment from some other guy?!” You’re whisper yelling now. “That’s even worse than being asked out on a date or a bet! Tetsurō, we’re friends, why didn’t you just tell me?”

“Are you really that mad at me?” his voice is more shocked than anything. “Oh, oh no.”

You’re pretty face looks crestfallen when you abruptly stand, thank him for spending time with you, but you leave. He doesn’t have the heart to stop you, it was a fifty-fifty chance you’d be highly upset. Kuroo didn’t know it would be the worse possible outcome.

You don’t talk to him for three weeks. Avoiding the captain is easier because outside of the shared classes you have third years, you pay him no mind. Kai and Morisuke are mortified when Kuroo tells them what occurred, but one of them enlightens their captain as to why you were so angry (something about it’s your choice who to date and who to decline that privilege and though his heart was in the right place, Kuroo took away that power of choice from you).

Within that time, the silence had become too much. You still talk to the others just fine from the team, but you still ignore your friend. You’re having trouble processing the fact he not only confesses, yet finding out about “the list” as the motivator for Kuroo to finally confess doesn’t sit right with you. Texts and calls slowly diminish until the screen with his name has been made up of dry humor and possibly even drier “how do you do’s.” None of which go answered for days at a time from you.

Kuroo eventually gets sick worried over how cold you’re being. First it starts with him being more introverted than before. It was like he reverted backward to when he was in elementary school: shy and observant. Then came the skipping of meals or barely eating because he would spend lunch breaks with you or vice versa; his bentos usually taste the best when shared, so why would he eat only a little less than half? After the terrestrial downpour which started over the weekend, Kuroo forgets his umbrella and catches the worse cold he’s had since the flu came around the first year hallway two years ago. You don’t find out any of this until you’re pulled out of class by Kenma of all people.

“Kodzuken?” you say flatly. “Kuroo sent you too?”

“No, he didn’t.”

“You’re here about what happened?”

The duo toned kid nods.

“I know about the fabled list. I’m on it, aren’t I? Did you know too and you’re here to beg forgiveness on his behalf?”

“…he’s been dealing with a fever, so he’s not here, I’m here because I told our mutual best friend to tell you the truth and he does care. He’s an idiot you’ve known this.”

“Rewind, he’s sick?”

“Kuroo’s been sort of depressed since he came back to school and he’s been stressed since the upcoming practice match with Karasuno. So,” kenma looks at you. “What are you going to do?”

.

.

.

You never bounced your leg out of habit with anxiety, yet you do so as you sit on the train en route to Kuroo’s. He may be an idiot, but you still care. Sure, you needed a month to process, yet Kenma of all people talked you into seeing the scheming captain on a whim. Your texts and concerned voicemails are delivered, but not replied to, so you take it upon yourself asking for extra worksheets and assignments used for his classes. Kuroo and you were varied, but balanced students, so it was no problem to hand over the coursework to you. The teachers were grateful, even Nekomata-sensei.

“Team and practice needs their captain, yn-chan,” he pats your shoulder.

“I know,” you answer. Small smile drags across your face.

Now outside the door with the inscribed Kuroo plaque, you knock on the door twice. By the third and final “panic” knock, Kuroo swings the door wide open. His gel pack on his forehead slides askew, he’s wearing a Christmas sweater you got him with sailor moon motifs at the bottom, and his nose is a little pink. Kuroo is worse for wear, but boy does his heart leap when he sees a concerned you fussing over his cold. His pajama pants are a day old and he stands aside while you bully yourself into his abode.

“…and these are from physics, college algebra one, and—”

“YN,” he interjects.

You ignore him.

“Modern English and Japanese are here in this folder, history there…”

“YN.”

He is holding every paper you hand him, placing the neat stack on the kitchen coffee table now. Stepping toward you, peeling the gel pack off, Kuroo grips your shoulders, relief written all over his features, and he shakes you gently after explaining you can stay if you like.

“We have time,” Kuroo gives you a soft stare.

You frown with your brows, but his clammy hand cups your face instead. Heeding his request to breathe with him, he sort of wears a lopsided smile. You’re here, for him, worried and upset he didn’t take care of himself like he normally would.

“YN, I’m fine. You’re here to make sure I didn’t die, yes?”

“But you got sick because I stopped talking to you, Kenma said so.”

Kuroo waits for you to stop rambling on about how you heard second hand how he got sick. His palm never stopped rubbing your cheekbone. You ramble when you’re worried, he can hear the unsure breaks in your voice.

“Oi,” His body stands closer to you now.

Quickly, one arm steadies your shoulder, the other snakes around your hips and he abruptly pulls you forward and higher. Your eyes focus on the ground instead of where Kuroo’s seem dead set on. You continue going off about derivatives until Kuroo leans down and kisses your lips shut. It’s a bold move, one he’ll regret later passing on his cold to you, useful and effective. You feel his smile against yours when you instantaneously hold him by his plush sweater. The stronger the grip you have, the more you’re losing your stance on annoyed refined and well placed anger—then it takes you a full fifteen seconds to start kissing him back. He gasps a little when you sneakily slide an arm across his broadening shoulders. Gods you drive him insane, even if you want to part, you can’t because the second you do, Kuroo’s breath dances across you Cupid’s bow.

“Can you be quiet for a second?”

Your noses bump against the other as you nod. Eyes opening back up wide, yet drowsy have a flirtatious gleam reflect back to the other. You inhale briefly tilting your head to one side a little curious in the expanding silence.

“Good because I’m about to kiss you again with your permission, ok?”

You blink, understanding whatever he just said meant and you easily lose the shake ground you formerly stood with him. Hungrier and greedy, that’s what his lips are; tender with promise are how his arms holds you; and when you lead, you feel his heartbeat through the sweater. Your cool hands sneak underneath the fabric and he stutters, almost slipping his tongue into your mouth again.

“Careful,” The word is swallowed by your mouth on his, returning the adoration felt from him.

This goes on for five plus minutes until he pulls away to a disappointed you. He sort of chuckles when you answer if it was something you did. Pulling down your uniform shirt and you his sweater, you stay comfortably close.

“No,” Kuroo slyly smiles. His hands play with your hair trying to smother it down now. “You just…?”

“Mm, so I did,” your middle and forefinger press against his pursed lips. Mirthful laughter behind graham cracker hazel eyes and your stifle giggle has kuroo biting an embarrassed smirk into the crook of your neck. You’re affectionately running both hands through the roosters nest of noir hair and he thanks his stars you forgave him.

“Don’t care about some stupid list,” you say. “And yes, whatever we are now, we’re going to be just fine…”

Kuroo just lets out a sputtered laugh before biting your cheek affectionately.

“Be my girlfriend,” his voice is saccharine brimming with forgiveness. His lips press against your higher cheekbone this time, feeling the muscles twinge with a small smirk. You remain quiet though. “Please, YN?”

“Well, since you asked so nicely, I think my sick boyfriend should go back to bed, hmm?”

You pat his shoulder when you wiggle out of his hold in his family kitchen. Unbeknownst to either of you, the front porch door chime had rang signaling someone’s return home. Thank goodness you two sat at the kitchen counter talking about how math these days are filled with nothing but the minimum calculus equations both of you have come to like; physics can wait.

Both Kuroo and you, for now, talk about finding limits, yet the laws of thermodynamics can wait when he shows up to classes two days later and you? Over the weekend, you text your boyfriend from bed, cursing him out for all those times you and him spent time together (though brief) because now you’re about to find out just how spoiled being Kuroo Tetsurō’s significant other actually is. And believe you me, it’s quite fun having him come over with some rice porridge from his granny, have him help you out of your blanket burrito, just so you could sit side by side and watch a comfort film—typically a musicals—and a majority of the time he comes over after you beat the flu, he helps you test out all twenty four color last lipsticks. His favorite one? The one you continue buying for three years until they discontinue the old formula.

[icarianiscariot]

for ao3 wrapped!!! 5, 6 ,17, 29?

kae!! thank u for the ask :D

5. What work of yours got more feedback than you expected?

OOOOOOH okay as far as fics i wrote this year, "can heaven fall into my lonely earth" which is one of very few iskris fics on ao3 and??? has the most bookmarks out of my bllk fics (i think only recently surpassed by dtootc), and the third highest amount of comment threads (surpassed by dtootc and wwap, both of which are multi-chapter works vs this little oneshot?!) ....however. this year i also had uh. an old work kind of blow up on twitter??? which i NEVER expected. and it was like 90% really positive stuff too! so shoutout to "01101100 01101111 01110110 01100101, or something," a poem i wrote in 2016 about robots being married. the official star wars twitter account has seen my gay r2/c3p0 poem. the tweet that someone posted about this poem has over 5mil views. my brother and his friends were actively discussing the tweet in their groupchat before finding out it was written by me. random IRL people mentioned it before finding out it was written by me. this was definitely not on my 2023 bingo card.

6. Favorite title you used

the rituals are intricate, bro!!!! it really felt like it encapsulated otoya's voice for me and he was just so fun to write sldkjflskdjf

17. Your favorite character to write this year?

sae for sure!!! although i think i've had so much fun with all the bllk boys that i've put into pickle jars and shaken around slkdfjlskdjf it's hard to pick just one!!

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

shit this is HARD. fuck. KAE HOW COULD YOU MAKE ME CHOOSE OTL maybe: "Here's the thing: Bachira looks at Rin as if he's stained glass, transparent and a work of art all at the same time, delicate and sharp in tandem. He looks at Rin and says lonely where others see alone, and when Rin throws thorns at him, Bachira only smells roses. So when Bachira slots himself into Rin's life like moss on a river stone, Rin takes him for the tumble." (but if your lightning lips aren't mine) > I'm really proud of the metaphor tbh, it feels very apt for both their characterizations and it was a strong opening that I still enjoy!! or, "We were fourteen together, fifteen, sixteen, which means we know more about each other than our families ever will again, because that's what this career has done to us." (we wrote a prelude) > something something The Burden of Teenage Nostalgia, the way sae didn't go home at ALL from ages 14-18 which i think are core years to becoming a human being, the way kaiser was there but rin wasn't, something something - the point of Being Changed in a way that your blood relatives cannot understand but your comrades do or, a handful from dtootc: "Rin can hear it when his engine revs and his tires squeal. Like Rin is important enough to run stoplights for." "Rin knows that other teenagers don't feel like this. No one else drowns like him. // Sae around this age was cruel; at fourteen he was curious, at fifteen he was already sharpening himself into a knife, and sixteen saw him as a scalpel, carving out pieces of himself while also cutting Rin down to the bone with surgical precision. Somewhere at seventeen his edge dulled, but the damage was done. // Some might say Sae has always been cruel: it's in his nature, with his blank face and calculating eyes, the bluntness of his tone that bruises, the sharpness of his words that scar. // But to Rin, he'd once been kind. The kindest in the world. // (Maybe Sae had been drowning too. // Maybe that's why he left.)" ""No one has ever looked for me." // Shidou turns, pink eyes bright and brow furrowed, a kind of innocent confusion that doesn't seem suitable for a demon. He's not wearing eyeliner; it makes his face seem more human. // "I did." and finally, spoilers for the most recent chapter: "Their hand lingers for a moment, and then in a motion achingly familiar, nostalgic like childhood fevers, Sae brushes a strand of Rin's hair from his face, tucking it behind his ear before adjusting the blanket over him once again."

WAUGH KAE THANK U THESE WERE HARD BUT GR8 QUESTIONS

ao3 wrapped game

[jdgo51]

Turn Off the Tech

Today's inspiration comes from:

A Surrendered Yes

by Rebekah Lyons

"Am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ." — Galatians 1:10 ESV

"'I started using Instagram on May 7, 2011, to be exact. Though many of my friends were active on social networking platforms, I was not a savvy social-media user. But the idea of keeping a real-time photo journal to share with friends and family? This was something I could get behind. After one weekend, I was hooked.

But what began as memory making became a compulsion to share. Gabe noticed before I did. “You don’t need to capture everything; just enjoy the moment!” he said. Kennedy, my daughter, saw it too and would ask, “Can you stop looking at your phone?”

In the spring of 2018, I felt God whispering that I should fast from social media. I dismissed and defended my actions. It’s no big deal, God. It doesn’t mean that much to me. But I woke up a few weeks later feeling an urge, a conviction even, to press pause for a season. I couldn’t wait another day.

In the spring of 2018, I felt God whispering that I should fast from social media.

When I jumped off social media, things changed. First, I started dreaming again. On the back porch, journal in hand, new ideas and thoughts flooded my mind. Second, I was sleeping better than ever, my mind and body catching up on much-needed rest. And third, my passion for learning returned as I read more books, listened to more podcasts and talks.

My worth is found in the loving gifts God offers in the “right now”.

A month into this fast, I drove around a bend in the road and gasped at the sky, ablaze with pinks and reds. Normally, I would have pulled over and angled for the perfect shot. That’s when God reminded me of this truth: “You are worthy to receive something beautiful, and you don’t have to share it.”

What began as a break from the constant churn of social media became a fundamental lesson in worthiness.

I came to see that my worth is not found in approval “out there.” It is found in the loving gifts God offers in the “right now,” in the intimate invitation of a sunset.

When I did reenter social media, it was with caution. I didn’t want to lose the slower pace of life I’d found or my longer attention span and diminishing need for public approval. I can see the flicker in my Kennedy’s eyes as she shares something from her day, and I give her my whole attention. I catch our son Cade’s goofy smirk when he’s up to no good. By resting from social media, I’ve recovered the lost art of paying attention, and somehow, that has brought me a sense of peace and tranquility.

Consider taking your own social media fast. Leave your smartphone in a box by the front door when you walk in after a long day. Limit the number of texts you send in a day. Give your mind, soul, and body the rest they need — for your sake and for the sake of those around you."'

Excerpted with permission from A Surrendered Yes by Rebekah Lyons, copyright Rebekah Lyons.

[velvetnviolentviolets]

It was a small victory that Andy wasn’t familiar with her family name. This likely meant her Fathers activities hadn’t quite made its way over to their end of the continent. That was the best case scenario. Worst case scenario: The families seedy business remained underground, undetected by the local government. There was a third option. There possibility that her father already had people here on his payroll. There was no telling whether or not that could help or hinder her. Katherine had no real way of knowing just how angry her father was. The simple fact that she was still alive offered the slightest possibility that particular iron was out of the fire. Or at the very least on a back burner.

“Okay.”

She exhaled, the press of his hand helping to quell the fumbling of her fidgeting fingers. While her right hand remained softly tucked under his, her other suddenly felt as as though it was out of place. The easy answer was to let the other to come to his hip, fingers gripping at the edge of the fabric of his shirt.

She drifted closer. Closer was safer. While that had never been true in the past— The way the warmth of his hand kept hers seemed to convince the rest of her that his nearness could do the same.

"My fathers name is Philip Bishop. He runs a organization on the west coast that deals in "acquiring and distributing high value merchandise" for the wealthy, influential and well to do. . .That means anything from art and artifacts to substances and even. . .the acquisition or. . .elimination of people." She paused for a long moment, hesitant eyes scanning his expression, waiting for the shock, the anger, the recoil. . .the furrow on her brow deepened as she checked his every micro expression, stomach quickly tying itself in knots. "I was supposed to run the family by his side. . .inherited once he retired. One night I came across my father and a few of his "Coworkers" In the throws of a "job" . . .I saw what it was they really did. I stopped it and told him I wanted no part in it. Naturally Daddy didn't take kindly to my intention to leave and showed me exactly what it meant to disappoint him so deeply." She swallowed, eyes drifting to a space beyond the as they focused on the hand that covered hers. "My brother. . ." She began again, her voice brittle and breath measured to control the tole the memory tried to take. "My brother intervened-- Beat our father with in an inch of his life." She smiled wryly as her other hands grip tightened. "Bet he regretted all those years of training after that. . .Or maybe in some sick way he was proud of Kass. It might have been the only reason he didn't immediately come after us when we both ran. Kass went to L.A initially. I went to The East coast with James." Kat drew a steadying breath as she summoned an expression shed hoped was devoid of any of the emotions the memory invoked. Once satisfied with her resolve she allowed her now placid gaze to return to his. "We also run the risk of Father deciding to insert himself into this. There's no telling whether he'd intend to "help" or hinder us. Its probably best to be prepared for both."

@mercyandaminute ( X )

[bonky-n-steeb]

𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗲𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗽𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘃𝗲

𝙎𝙏𝙀𝙑𝙀 𝙍𝙊𝙂𝙀𝙍𝙎 𝙭 𝙍𝙀𝘼𝘿𝙀𝙍

𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮 || Steve’s life takes a quantum leap when he finds you unconscious on the beach.

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 || ANGST (with a happy ending)

This is the second part of six feet under.

I know I broke your hearts, so here comes the second part to mend it! I hope you love this!

“You are my mission.”

Steve felt as if the walls of his heart were pricked by a thousand needles. It ached too much for him to bear. Unable to look in your eyes, he cried in his own palms.

The Asset wasn’t built to show emotions, but you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion at the picture in front of you; your mission had just dropped down on his knees and was pathetically sobbing.

Why wasn’t your target fighting. You were informed that he was great at hand combat but not really outstanding with guns. So why wasn’t he attacking you as expected. Why was he showing you his back in surrender?

You were told what to do if the mission fought. But you weren’t informed what to do if he just... surrendered.

Walking close to your mission where he was crouching down, you stared at him for a moment. You weren’t wearing your combat gear, and neither was he. You both were instead dressed in far from modest clothes.

You didn’t know why, but you couldn’t bring yourself to harm him in any way. With the way he was trusting you, you could’ve killed him within seconds. But yet your heart somehow ached at his situation.

When he didn’t even look up, you nudged his thigh with your left foot. When your mission finally looked up, his eyes were bloodshot and he was incessantly crying.

“Fight me.” You said as he just stared at you. Your blank gaze terrified Steve more than any alien or villain ever had. You didn’t know why, but you wanted him to fight you. You weren’t able to attack him if he just gave up.

Steve blinked his eyes as he took in your words. Why weren’t you killing him? He had surrendered to you and yet you were just looking back at him instead of fighting. Why did you want him to fight you?

“No.” Steve had never thought love would be his weakness. Or maybe he had never truly realised it. Steve loved Bucky as a friend and had rained hell when his friend was in danger.

And here he had signed off his soul in your name. He would literally bring you the moon and stars if you asked to. And he would bare his throat for you to slash through. But he couldn’t possibly ever hurt you.

“I said fight me.” Steve Rogers, your mission was supposed to fight you. Not just sit down and take whatever you gave him. You didn’t know why you were angry at his lack of self preservation.

What happened next was within the blink of an eye. Steve’s arm shot up and curled around your wrist. And with a quick pull, he pulled your entire body down.

His agility took you by shock and before you could react, you were down on the ground pressed against the floor with him straddling you. Taking both of your hands in his, he pinned them above your head, making sure you were immobile.

You were royally fucked. Your handlers wouldn’t take it lightly if you messed up. And that was if you reached them in one piece. Chances were you were gonna die here, right under Steve Rogers.

You opened your mouth to bite and hiss and Steve took the opportunity and dove right in. You stilled with surprise when you felt the captain’s plump lips right against yours. This man was super insane.

You mercilessly but his lower lip and ended up drawing blood. But as soon as he started licking in your mouth with his tongue, you melted right on the spot.

The warmth of his mouth slowly brought back the warmth of your memories. Steve felt you go pliant under him for some moments before you started fiercely kissing him back.

You entwined your fingers with his and gently pressed your tongue against the bite mark on his lips. You didn’t notice the tears that slipped through your eyes and how they mixed with Steve’s own tears falling against your face.

“Steve.” You called his name just like you always did. With love and belonging. He opened his eyes to see you staring right back at him with your lively eyes.

Steve had never been happier before. Pressing his forehead against yours, he just breathed you in for a moment. “Steve.” Your hand was now caressing his face.

Your eyes peering into each other were enough to convey the million thoughts you had and the thousand things you wanted to say. Pressing a loving kiss to your forehead, he got up and you followed him.

You both sat on the floor with your legs crossed, you kept some space between you two. “I’m… I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Steve repeated as he broke down once again.

You hushed him and held him in your arms until he calmed down. “I shouldn’t have done that, but… but I wanted to know.” Steve couldn’t ever forget how your face had morphed into that of betrayal as he recited the words.

“But I want to know one thing. Do you love me? Or… or is it some tactic of hydra to ruin me?” You wanted to slap Steve for asking this stupid ass question. Of course you loved him!

But then you realised where he was emotionally. If you were in his position then maybe even you would fear the same. “It’s real Steve. It’s definitely real.”

You framed his face with your hands and caressed your thumb over his cheeks. “Steve, I love you. And by ‘I’, I mean Y/N and Soldat. My soul belongs to you, no matter it’s name.

How can you doubt our love when it was the only thing that brought me back?” It was true, you wouldn’t have remembered anything if Steve hadn’t kissed you.

You could see the colour fill in Steve’s face. He pulled you in a bear hug and held you tight. “I love you. I love you.” Steve chanted in your ear just like before.

Once you were both calm enough to think straight, you decided to go out on the beach. You sat in the sand with your head tilted on Steve’s shoulder as the sea breeze kissed your wet cheeks.

“I barely remember who I was before all this Steve. I can only remember glimpses of the shield and the avengers. I’m no more the Y/N you once saw.”

Steve was silent as he listened to each and every word of yours. He wanted to say so many things back, but he knew he had to listen to you first.

“But I remember how they took me Steve. It was probably my third official shield mission and we had all thought that base was not active. But when we broke in, the operatives were waiting just for us.

It was trap and we fell willingly into it. The others managed to escape, but… but I couldn’t. And they took me Steve. I… I waited for you people.

I still remember shivering in that cold cell all alone, praying for you to find me. But you never came. And with time I just kept forgetting until I couldn’t remember anymore.” Your voice cracked yet you kept going.

“Even after you retired, you still were hydra’s number one target. It’s almost personal now. It took them some time, but they finally traced you and they knew you were alone.

I was supposed to use a boat as long as I was out of visibility and then swim till the shore so that you wouldn’t notice me. But I miscalculated the current and the rocks on the shore.

After I abandoned my boat, I jumped into the water and got caught in the water currents. It was a terrifying experience, just spinning wildly underwater as the water took you.

But I was oddly at peace as I thought finally I would be free. But then I hit my head on the rocks and got washed up. And I woke up remembering absolutely nothing in your warm bed.”

“I’m sorry.” Steve couldn’t ever forgive himself for all that had happened to you. He was sure shield must have tried their best, but he couldn’t help but feel guilty.

“Don’t be. It wasn’t your fault. I’m sure they must’ve tried.” You both sat quietly staring at the calm ocean which reflected the night sky.

“Do you still love me?” You asked with a dejected sigh. “I’ll always love you.” Steve replied pulling you closer. “Even after knowing who I am and what I was here for?”

“You could’ve easily completed your mission. I know you are capable enough of doing that. But, you did not. You couldn’t harm me even when I openly surrendered to you.

So yes, I still very much love you and I’ll stay by your side forever.” The last word pierced through your heart like a knife. You couldn’t give him what he wanted.

“Steve, I… I have to go.” Steve looked at you quizzically. “Where?” You gulped audibly before meekly replying, “Hydra.” You could feel his body tense.

“You aren’t going back there, no matter what.” You wanted to believe Steve’s words, but you knew that couldn’t happen.

“I’ve tried to run away. So many times. But they always find me. They’ll find me this time too. And if they find me, they’ll find you too and I can’t let that happen.

I won’t be able to live if something happened to you. I’ll never forgive myself. And that’s why I need to go.” If this sacrifice was going to keep Steve safe, then so be it.

“Nothing will happen to me. And if they come, we will fight them. Together. And nothing and no one can stop us if we are with each other. Stay with me, please!”

You kissed his cheek to stop him from pleading anymore. You couldn’t tolerate the man you loved begging you. “I’ll… I’ll stay with you. I promise.”

Steve hugged you so tight, you wondered if you broke some bones. But being in the arms of the man who loved you, felt better than heaven itself. It was a different kind of a feeling, one that no words could ever describe.

“Steve, what do you think about Paris? I’ve always wanted to go there.” You asked as you both sat silently on the beach, basking in each other’s presence.

“I’ve always thought about visiting Louvre too. But I never really got the chance.” Even as a sickly kid, Steve wanted to get mesmerised by the art in the famous museum.

“And what about Sydney? Or Amsterdam? Or Barcelona?” Your eyes lit up like an excited kid. “What about all of them?” Steve jested.

Steve wanted to travel the world too. In a sense he already had, but it was always for some mission and never for the sake of relaxation. “Yeah, we could do that!” You exclaimed as if the thought hadn’t occurred to you.

It would be a new beginning for both of you. A new life away from your tainted past. A fresh canvas to paint with the colours of your own choice. A much needed restart that both you and Steve needed.

“What are we waiting for? Let’s pack our bags!”

[gerdavonrinnlingen]

Since I recently cracked the 1 million word mark on AO3, I want to revisit my old fics. This is my third GR fic, I really like this one - my first Longfic ^^ I'm still proud of it.

Read it on AO3

The wonderful art is by @zlatokryletz - thank you <3

She checked node after node, at the seventh she found a single burnt out chip. She replaced it and studied the node. There was a room right next to it. She closed the panel and got up. Perhaps she should take a look? She chewed on her lower lip. Was she too rash?

In this moment the nightly energy mode kicked in and the lights in the hallway she was standing in dimmed. Well, it seemed like a good moment.

Rose took the scanner in her right hand as if she wanted to scan the next node and stepped closer to the room. To her surprise the door slid open, the room itself was almost dark – there was only one large holoprojector in the middle of the room, its blue light painted the surroundings in a cool light.

The holo showed an enlarged blue print. She gripped her scanner tightly. This was it, it had to be. The new weapon the Order was building.

She stepped closer, eager to take a look- suddenly she heard something on her right. Instead of trying to hide she just froze and gripped her scanner so hard that her knuckles turned white.

A tall black figure stepped into the cold light of the holo. Rose felt all colour drain from her face when she recognized Hux. He stopped dead in his tracks and narrowed his eyes.

“Who are you? What are you doing here?” he asked sharply.

Kriff! Why hadn’t she just waited?!

“Specialist Phan, sir. I- uh I noticed that through the ship’s isolinear chips burnt out before expiration date and I-” Crap, that sounded unprofessional. She cleared her throat. “I’m replacing chips in the nodes on this deck, sir.”

He stepped closer, only now she registered that he looked positively tired and worn-out. His usually meticulously slicked back ginger hair looked as if he had carelessly ran his hand through it. From the corner of her eye she saw a black great coat lying on a table with pads. From the looks of it he was working here … but why would Hux work in the middle of the night on weapon prototypes?

“You’re replacing chips? And this couldn’t wait until the morning I take it?” There was a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

He was right of course – there was no way she could explain why she was so eager to work this late. Suddenly she remembered what Poe had told her: ‘Try to be as honest as possible, lie only in the details.’

Yes, the only way out of this was to grasp the rancor by the teeth. “May I speak freely, sir?”

He clasped his hands behind his back and stepped even closer, apparently using his height to intimidate her. She was almost two heads smaller than he. To her dismay it worked, she felt uneasy.

“Go on.”

She lifted her chin. “I’m a civilian worker, sir. Since I arrived here I did mostly boring maintenance work … its fine of course. That’s what I’m here for. But when I discovered a pattern to the burnt out chips today I- uh, I got excited. I wanted to get to the bottom of it. There was a burnt out chip in the node in front of this room – so curiosity got the better of me and I came to look.”

Hux scanned her face with his ice-blue eyes, apparently trying to decide if she was lying to him. “What kind of pattern?”

It was working! She pulled her pad from one of her pockets and activated it. “As you can see, the energy surges seem to originate from this deck, the WDD to be exact.”

He took her tablet and looked closer; she noticed that he wasn’t wearing his black gloves. That and the fact that way his hair wasn’t immaculate … seemed almost casual. What the kriff was he doing here?

He suddenly seemed to lose interest in her, he turned on his heel and stepped to the holo. He zoomed out of the blue print, and checked it with Rose’s diagram. Strange, but since he didn’t seem to be interested in her presence anymore she slowly approached the holo.

She realised that she wasn’t looking at a weapons design but at the energy and power systems of the Finalizer. There were readings on the lower corner of the holo – someone had increased the energy output by 0.3%. It was marginal, but the increase of power in the whole ship had caused a local spike in some nodes ... and fried the chips.

Should she just stay silent and wait for Hux to kick her out? Or should she try to gather some intel? Well, she was here …

“The additional energy would improve the performance on some systems, but the GXP-chips used in the nodes can’t compensate for the additional power,” she said while continuing looking at the holo.

He snapped his head around. “GXP-chips have latitude for 0.4%.”

She shouldn’t contradict him, the Force knows how a guy like Hux would react to that. She bit her lower lip. But on the other hand he was simply wrong. “Theoretically yes, but in real life they can’t handle more than 0.28. Especially in a large network like the one on this ship. There is simply too much voltage.”

He scoffed. “Nonsense! The overall performance was increased.”

“It will fry even more chips over time!”

“A few burnt-out chips are easily replaced.”

By the stars! Why didn’t he get it? “Every burnt-out chip has to be replaced with new ones! A crate with 200 chips takes about two weeks to deliver. At this rate we’ll be out of chips by end of the month.”

He stared at her with his icy eyes, she crossed her arms and glared back.

Suddenly she had an idea, she stepped to the holo and pointed to the aft section of the Finalizer. “The problem is the size of the network, but if we add buffers to every section the voltage wouldn’t be as high. It would even be possible to bump up the energy output to 0.33%.”

His eyes went wide and he quickly added the suggested buffers to the holo. He rubbed his chin as he stared at the simulation. “You’re not wrong.”

She almost rolled her eyes. Of course she wasn’t wrong – she was right!

He eyed her. “What exactly is your profession?”

The smug feeling from before disappeared. Damn her stupid pride. She was supposed to keep a low profile. “I don’t have a profession, sir. Back home I was a jack of all trades and simply fixed what needed fixing.”

He wiped over his face and suddenly looked exhausted. “Dismissed.”

[dokoni-mo]

She Truly Was || Muzan Kibustsuji x F!Reader

Summary: Enmu helps Muzan remember you.

SFW // Fluff with small amounts of Angst

Word Count: 4626

WARNINGS: *slight Mugen Train spoilers*, slight mentions of implied sexual activity, obsessive(?) behavior, Muzan is soft for one person only, some angst, mentions of injury, mentions of blood, I also barely proofread this lol

A/N: I've had this in my head for a while and decided to write it down. This is largely just a compilation of scenarios I made in my head to fall asleep at night when I was stressing over exams and stuff, all loosely thrown together with a plot. This is my first time writing for demon slayer, so please be patient! I also am basing a lot of my info about the characters on s1 of the anime, some of the manga, and the wiki. I apologize if something isn't accurate. tldr; I just think he's neat.

~~

Despite having lived through thousands of years with hundreds of stormy nights in the midst, Muzan Kibutsuji never learned to appreciate them.

Something about nights like those in Japan just never sat right with the demon. It wasn't that they were too dreary, not at all. Life as a demon was plenty dreary. On the other hand, it wasn't that they were to lively either. No one ever went out on stormy nights; demon or not. Perhaps it was just because the rain was another reminder of the singularity that was being a demon. The poignant pitter patter just seemed to have a way of whispering to whoever heard it, telling them the most unpleasant yet quiet truths of their lives.

After Muzan's bloody meeting with the lower moons, he had told Enmu his task Muzan had planned for the pitiful, weaker demon. Although he had doubts that Enmu could hear him over the sound of the weaker demon's screams of pain from the blood he gave, Muzan was pleasantly surprised when Enmu understood the orders the first time around. Seeing as though it would cause trouble if the lower moon started to go around bragging about his newfound power and job, Muzan decided it would be best to keep a crimson eye on the demon.

This is what led to the scene before Muzan now.

Muzan had taken Enmu back to one of his many properties scattered across Japan, this one being tucked away in a lush, quiet forest in the middle of seemingly nowhere. The lower moon had not said a word throughout the entire journey there, and still refused to say anything now. Most likely out of fear.

Although it had been a long day of wrangling the lesser worms he called pawns (or "moons" if he was generous), Muzan did not want to show any weakness towards Enmu by resting. To busy himself, Muzan decided to do the tedious work the humans have him do in the job he took to please his human wife.

That insufferable woman.

With his bowler hat placed on his desk, Muzan had taken a seat in his large, leather chair, ordering Enmu to stand at the edge of the desk and face the opposite way. And, for extra edge, he was not to say or do anything.

It had been about two hours since then. The room was filled with only the sounds of Muzan's writing and the ticking of the grandfather clock in the corner.

Although he ordered it to be that way, Muzan was already sick of it.

Peering his red eyes up from the papers scrawled below him, Muzan fixated his bone-chilling gaze upon the back of Enmu's head. Muzan could see the corners of the lower moon's mouth turned upwards as he faced the wall, presenting himself with an expression of dumb content.

Freak.

Enmu was definately a curious specimen. So eager to die, yet so eager to please Muzan. The demon lord would have been confused if he were not who he was.

Perhaps it was his own boredom setting in, perhaps it was because he wanted to feed his already gargantuan ego, or perhaps it was just because he was tired, Muzan decided to speak up.

"Tell me," Muzan said, his deep, smooth voice making Enmu perk up slightly, "Why is it that are you so loyal to me?"

Enmu took this as an opportunity to finally move, but not without some caution. The lower demon only turned his neck towards Muzan, along with a tilt of his shoulder. Muzan noted the disobedience of orders, but decided to let it slide this time.

The rain must have told him to be generous that night.

"Why, Master Kibustsuji," Enmu said, a faint blush adorning his cheeks, "It is because I am so delighted to be in your presence, and have my power be of service to you."

The demon lord felt his jaw clench at this, his red eyes peering up at the lower moon from under his abyssal lashes. Although Enmu had an... odd, way of putting things, Muzan always did like it when someone stroked his ego, even if all they ever said was the same banter over and over again. He was nearly perfection, afterall.

Muzan sat quietly and pondered Enmu's response for a second, before formulating his own.

"Your power, as you put it," Muzan said, his voice firm, "What is it?"

Enmu's grin widened, "Dream Manipulation, Master. I can enter, manipulate, or control anyone's dreams however I want to. I can use it to kill from the inside, eating a person spirit first and body second. I can also put people to sleep."

Muzan wasn't necessarily impressed by this, but he wasn't disappointed either. An ordinary power, really. Nothing that could ever rival his own.

However...

Muzan's gaze flickered down to the surface of his desk. A flicker of a long lost yet not forgotten feeling bubbled deep inside of his being. A mere spark of light, really, a piece of warmth he felt from long ago, lost to the wayside by the vestiges of time.

It was something Muzan thought he would never experience again.

Dream manipulation, huh?

It might be worth a try.

Muzan looked back up to Enmu, sharpening his gaze, "Tell me, are you able to give... pleasant dreams?"

Enmu was surprised to hear this come from Muzan to say the absolute least. He took this as another opportunity to disobey orders and turn to Muzan again, this time fully and whole-heartedly. The lower moon looked right into those blood red eyes, looking for any sign of a rare flicker of humor or joking.

Muzan's gaze was serious, poised as ever.

Muzan was being for real.

Taking a pause to swallow, Enmu allowed his soft smirk to return to his gray, pale face.

"Why," the lower moon retorted, "I can, Master, yes."

Muzan eyed the lesser demon for a good second at his response.

This move was risky. It could damage his image. Yet, if he was to do this with any of his pawns, he would do it with Enmu. Enmu seemed to have no intent on harming Muzan or his image in any way; he was far too loyal for that.

Besides, if someone were to question the might of Muzan, he could just prove them wrong.

Muzan leaned back in his chair, crossing one leg over the other and lacing his fingers together, wrapping them around his knee. His icy gaze still on Enmu, he spoke again.

"I wish to see a pleasant dream."

Muzan nearly rolled his eyes when he saw just how wide Enmu's grin had gotten and just how flushed his face got.

It was repulsive.

But, if it meant what Muzan thought it would mean...

It was worth stomaching.

After a breif moment used to compose himself, Enmu's smile faded to normal again. He pulled up the sleeves to his coat.

"I will give you a dream where you will experience the happiest days of your life over again, Master Kibutsuji," the lower moon stated, "Is this to your liking or would you prefer something else?"

"No," Muzan stated flatly, "That is fine."

Perfect, even.

Enmu smiled widely one last time, holding out his arm and pointing it at the demon lord.

"Sweet dreams, my lord." Was the last thing Muzan heard before falling into a deep, deep sleep.

~~

"Muzan..."

Despite his blood demon art being so much weaker than his, Muzan wasn't quite ready for just how Enmu put him into a dream like that. Muzan's headache had grown ten-fold now, and he could feel that his face was scrunched.

"Muzan..."

Slowly but surely regaining his full consciousness, Muzan could first feel that he was in different clothes than what he had been wearing before. These ones were lighter, softer, and much more airy than his normal suit. Squinting open his crimson eyes, he saw that he was in what appeared to be a long, dark, flowing kimono.

The second thing Muzan could feel was that it was rather cool where he was, and that he appeared to be lying on the ground. Sifting his weight slowly, he could then feel that his head was lain upon what felt like two soft, plush pillows firmly squished together.

The third thing, however, took him a little longer to discern quite that it was. At first, he thought it was a pair of chopsticks running across his scalp over and over again. Upon, further thought, however, Muzan was further snapped back into awareness.

Those were not chopsticks.

Those were fingers.

All too familiar fingers.

"Muzan..!"

Muzan felt a stir deep down inside of him. He recognized this feeling, this touch, this warmth. It had been so, so long since he had felt like this. How long was it again? It had to be an eternity ago. An eternity wrapped within all time time in the world.

Muzan was speechless. Muzan couldn't move. Muzan was struck from deep within, and nothing in the world could ever compare to its blow.

"Muzan!"

Although the calling of the demon's lord name had been going on for some time now, he was just now able to respond.

Tilting his chin upwards towards the voice's source, Muzan nearly fell to bits right then and there. If he was someone else, he would have wept deep, earnest tears at the very sight of the being above him. For everything and nothing surrounded him as he studied the bright, radiant face above him, and nothing else seemed to exist other than that smile.

Other than her.

Her.

Oh, her, her, her.

His beloved. His sun, moon and stars. The ground beneath his feet and the air around him. His joy and love, his woes and sorrow. His fears and excitement. His warmth and his cold.

You.

You were really here.

"I was wondering if you were ever gonna wake up," you said, a faint laugh behind your voice, "You were out for so long!"

This scene was all too familiar to Muzan. He had replayed it in his head countless times, as if it were the only record left in the world.

He knew what this day was, and he knew all of your lines.

How could he ever forget?

Every moment he had ever spent with you had been a blessing.

Right now, his head was cradled in your lap, your soft, delicate fingers combing through his hair oh so gently as he had slept. It was deep into the night, and ordinarily Muzan would not be sleeping at this time. However, your touch was just so relaxing to him.

Everything about you was.

Today, you and him had spent the night wandering through the garden of your home together, chatting about anything and everything. It was only about two months into your relationship with Muzan. Muzan had first come to your home with the intention of eating everyone within the residence, but once he saw your face, watched you, saw your heart, your spirit, your you, he just couldn't.

He just...

couldn't.

You were human, yes.

But Muzan didn't care.

He was in love with you.

Muzan had yet to tell you the truth about him, however.

But that could come later.

"Muzan, are you alright?" He heard your voice echo again, snapping him out of his trance. He saw your face painted with worry, making his own features soften.

His darling angel. If only you knew just how much it pained him to see you with anything other than a smile.

Muzan reached his hand upwards, steadily maneuvering his fingers to brush your hair behind your ear and cup your warm cheek. He was shocked at how real you felt, shocked at just how similar it felt to all those years ago.

Perhaps Muzan had to give Enmu a reward.

The demon lord caressed your cheek gingerly with his cold, calloused thumb, savoring in just how warm your flesh was compared to his. For the first time in what felt like eons, Muzan felt a smile adorn his handsome features. Not one put on just to appease the humans around him, but genuine. The type of smile only you got to see.

Only you.

"I'm more than alright, my darling." He responded, his voice soft and warm, without the normal venom he gives to his subordinates. A voice reserved restrictively for you.

Finally, you let a soft grin come over your heavenly face again, making all seven of Muzan's hearts swell.

"I'm sorry if I woke you up," you said, "But it's about to be dawn soon. I don't want you to get a burn, so let's go in the house again, okay?"

Ah yes, the lie Muzan told you. He, of course, couldn't be with you in the sunlight (as much as he wanted to). So he had told you that he had a rare disorder that made him extra prone to sunburns and heatstroke.

Just something to keep you safe from the truth.

His soft smile still adorning his features, Muzan gave you a nod as he slid his head off of your lap. Since you were on your knees, you were quicker to stand than him. Brushing off your kimono quickly, you offered one of your hands to Muzan to help him stand, of which he gladly took. He had long since forgotted just how perfectly your hand fit into his, along with how radiant your kimono made you look.

Once he was back on his feet, Muzan couldn't help but to hold your arms, holding you a few feet away from him to simply admire you for a moment, his crimson eyes doing laps around your face and body.

You were perfect to him.

Every single thing about you was without flaw in his eyes. Not one curve of your body was too shallow or too wide. Not one strand of your hair was misplaced or without poise. Not one feature on your face took away from your radiant beauty. And you had not one bad bone inside of your body.

Muzan was never one to believe in angels.

However, if anyone in any part of the world were to tell him that you were one of them, straight from the heavens themselves,

He would believe them.

~~

As soon as Muzan stepped through the door, his hand in your own, the scene before him changed in one giant, peaceful flash of white light.

Before him now was no longer the house that he had shared with you all those years ago. Now, in its place, was a beautiful, lush springtime garden, all dredged under the cover of the night. It was not devoid of light, however. There were a few lanterns afloat in the water of the stream, as well as some within the structure of the small bridge that went over top of it. Flowers adorned every nook and cranny of the space, and the occasional insect or bird would make a brief appearance.

A small slice of paradise, just for you and Muzan Kibutsuji.

Fearing that you were no longer by his side, Muzan turned his head. His fears were quickly subsided when he saw you there next to him. Your delicate hands were placed on the railing of the bridge, and your eyes were fixated on the calm water below, almost as if it were a window into the heavens above. There was a small smile plastered on your face, and the delicate lights illuminated each of your features so perfectly.

Muzan knew this night.

This was the night he told you the truth.

The truth about him, about his "condition", about where he went for days on end, about why he couldn't walk with you in the sun, about everything.

This was the one night Muzan had ever felt fear.

"Is it really true, Muzan?" You asked, your gaze still fixated on the water below, "Are you really a demon?"

Muzan felt his lips part in small surprise. Even though he had replayed this night time and time again in his mind, it felt as if this were all happening for the first time over again.

Enmu really was good at this.

Muzan wet his lips before responding, setting his gaze on your precious, beautiful face and refusing to move it, "Yes, my love. It is true. I would not lie to you about this, I..."

A pause to collect this thoughts, before he could continue, "I kept it from you to protect you, (Y/N). I did not want any harm to come to you. My darling, I... I love you. My love for you knows no bounds. You are the stars that shine at night, and you are the shining moon above. Each time I look upon you, all I can stand to think of is how deep my love for you runs. I... I need you, (Y/N). I do not wish for you to be frightened of me, my angel. I would never, not ever harm you, nor let any harm come to you."

You still weren't looking at Muzan, yet your smile had yet to falter. Muzan felt a bubble of nervousness in his gut. Although he knew your response to his words already, even thinking of this moment never failed to make his stomach churn. He hoped his words to you were enough. He doubted that he had ever said anything more truthful in his entire life.

After a long pause of silence between the two of you, you closed your eyes and widened your smile. Then, you opened your eyes again, finally turning to face your lover. You looked Muzan right in the eyes, seemingly unfazed that you were standing so dangerously close to the most powerful being alive.

You were so brave.

Your heart was so big.

Muzan felt so overwhelmed.

"Muzan," you said, your cheeks dusting a light pink.

What you said next to him, Muzan could never get out of his head, never forget. No matter how much he tried, he would never not ever forget your words in that moment.

Within that one short, simple phrase, the king of demons fell in love all over again.

"I've always known."

~~

Another flash within his crimson eyes, and the scene had changed again. Nighttime again, of course, but this time within the confines of the bedroom you and Muzan shared. Both you and Muzan were nude, sans the blanket that covered the lower half of your forms. Muzan was on his back, one strong arm wrapped around you, the other cradling the back of his head. Your legs were intertwined with his, and your hair and hands were sprawled out on top of his lean, muscular chest.

Muzan knew this night as well.

It was his most loved night with you, but also his most dreaded.

How cruel fate was.

Stroking your back with the tips of his fingers, Muzan stared up at the ceiling above the two of you. Your body was flush against his, and as warm as ever. He wondered to himself if he was making you cold. If he was, you didn't seem to mind.

After a long period of savoring the silence between you and him, you softly snorted out a cute, soft giggle. This made Muzan angle his chin downward to look at the top of your head.

"What is it?" He questioned.

You giggled again, tilting your head up to look at him. Smiling, you turned your body to lay on top of the demon king, your breasts smushing against his own. Instinctively, Muzan laid his hands on your hips, rubbing small circles into them as he held you in place.

"I just find it funny that even though you profess to have so much stamina, you get tired after only two rounds." You explained to him, a playful mischievousness in your tone and eyes.

Muzan breathed out a smile, reaching up a clawed hand to brush your hair out of your face.

"As I recall it, you were the one complaining it was too much." He quipped back.

You snorted, "As if that ever stopped you before."

The demon let out a soft chuckle, leaning forward to give you a kiss on the forehead. Muzan couldn't remember ever laughing so genuinely before you came along. You truly were the light of his life. You filled his days with the sunlight he had long since forgotten, as well with the warmth no other demon could ever have.

He loved you.

He loved you he loved you he loved you.

And he still did.

He watched as you dropped your gaze to his chest, running your fingers along the flesh.

"Muzan..." you said, your voice more serious than before, "I've been thinking a lot lately..."

The demon king hummed, brushing more hair from your face.

"What has been on your mind, my love?" He asked.

You paused for a second before continuing on. Muzan could practically see the gears turning in your head.

"Well, I... I'm not getting any younger, you know, and I've been thinking. I... I really love you, Muzan. You're the only person I can imagine myself being with for the rest of my life. The other day, I was in town, and I saw the cutest family ever with a husband and a wife and two adorable little children, and it made me think..."

You looked up at him again, giving him a soft smile.

"What if we were to have a family of our own?"

Muzan could feel the same sense of joy, love, and pride in his chest as he did this same moment all those years ago. In this moment, he had never felt closer to you before, nor could you recall ever looking more beautiful.

He wanted nothing more than to be a family with you for the rest of eternity.

"Darling, you know what that would mean, correct?" He questioned you. He had told you long before that demons could only have offspring with other demons, for a demon baby would eat its human mother from the inside and kill her. It was gruesome, and had originally made you cringe at the thought. Muzan had thought your reaction was quite cute.

"Yes, yes, I know," you answered, "and I'd be ready for it. Even if I'm a demon, and even if I can never go out in the sun again or live normally ever again, I'd be happy knowing I got to be with you and our baby for the rest of time."

Muzan gave you a smile in return, his long, white fangs flashing in the light of the night. Leaning forward, he kissed you upon your soft, warms lips, gently pulling you closer to him.

This was one of the thousands of reasons why he loved you.

You were always so sweet, so kind and optimistic. He would admit, he did have a soft spot for you and you alone. But he didn't care. You were worth it. You were worth every single piece of money on planet earth. You were worth the sun the moon and the stars, and all the planets here and beyond. You were worth any injury, any heartache, and any trial or tribulation in the world.

The king of the demons unquestionably, unfathomably, undeniably, adored you.

Pulling gently away from the kiss, Muzan looked deep into your eyes, right past your pupils and looked right into your soul, your very being.

"I would want nothing more, my sunlight."

If Muzan could turn back the hands of time, he would have kept you here with him for the rest of everything and beyond.

For he did not know then that was the last kiss you and him would share.

~~

Another flash, and Muzan was no longer greeted with a visage of the past. Much to his dismay, the demon was now greeted with the sight of his office, with a smiling Enmu creepily watching him from across his desk.

What a fucking freakshow.

Taking in a breath of air through his nose, Muzan sat up tall in his chair again, rubbing the bridge of his nose with this thumb and pointer finger.

You were gone again. You were again nothing up a memory, a whisper of a time from the past.

Muzan could hardly bare it.

He had felt you, held you near him.

And just as fast as you came back, you were gone again.

This was a pain almost too hard to bear.

How long was he asleep for? Muzan really didn't care how long it was.

No amount of time with you was enough.

"Did you have the pleasant dream you wished for, Master?" Enmu asked the demon king. The lesser moon was lucky Muzan was in a somewhat good mood that day.

"Yes." Muzan replied simply, closing his eyes to rub them with his thumb, "Excellent work."

Enmu's smile widened at this, his cheeks turning pink again.

"Why, thank you, Master." He responded, his excitement prevalent in his voice.

Enmu really was a special one.

After composing himself again, Muzan scooted his chair forward up to his desk, fixing his gaze back onto his work sprawled out below.

Muzan just wanted to be alone again after that. He had been alone for years now, but he wanted Enmu out of the room. Although he could have easily ordered it to be so, he again did not want to show any weakness to the lower moon.

Christ on a bike. Muzan was so fucking stubborn.

He remembered all the times you nagged him for it.

Oh, what he would give to have you nag him one last time.

After a long bout of silence, the lesser demon decided to speak up again. He turned his head over his shoulder again to Muzan, trying to sound as naieve and innocent as possible.

"Master," Enmu said, "Where is she now?"

Muzan stopped his movements and glared up at Enmu with a venomous glare. How dare he even refer to you. You were so far above him, how dare Enmu even think to invoke your name.

Though Muzan wanted to kill the other demon right on the spot, he decided against it. He still wanted to see how Enmu would do on his mission. Also, Muzan had to admit that he did feel lighter and more generous after his dream with you. And he supposed it was fair that Enmu had his questions.

Feeling nice, Muzan decided to entertain Enmu's question.

Shifting his gaze back to the papers below, Muzan replied.

"Gone." he said, "The night she asked about a family was the last night I saw her alive. The next day, a group of slayers found her and our house. They knew who she was and that she was human, but killed her anyway. All in attempt to get to me. I found her in a pool of her own blood, limp and cold. The slayers died that same night."

Enmu's smile faded at this, his face taking on a look of shock. Closing his lips into a tight line, Enmu looked away, out of a quiet unconscious respect. Everything made so much more sense to Enmu now. Why the demon king was the way he was, his hatred for slayers, his cold-hearted, murderous nature.

It all clicked into place.

"I... I am sorry for your loss, Master." He said, his voice quieter than normal, "She seemed like a lovely woman."

Muzan peered up at the back of Enmu's head. Through his thick, black lashes.

"Yes..." Muzan said.

"She truly was."

[edna-skiffens]

The Best Medicine

Summary: You are in the hospital, but you can never sleep in hospitals. Good thing you have a very attractive night shift nurse who is willing to help out.

Word Count: 4.5K

Warnings: hospitals, light med talk, bad medical writing, fluff

A/N: Please ignore the plot holes or the fact that this isn’t the most realistic and also I know this isn’t how discharge works at the hospital.. It’s called fiction for a reason, darling. Also, I left the reason the reader is in the hospital open ended bc some of us may have medical conditions/reasons that we can attach to this, but if not I tried to keep it vague enough on purpose so that you can imagine whatever. Also if you like Nurse!Tom and have requests for him lmk bc i’m happy to write for him.

Toss and turn. Toss and turn. The routine was getting old. This was your third night in the hospital and sleep just wasn’t coming to you.

Maybe it was the medicine they had you on. Maybe it was the constant symphony of sounds and people passing in the hallway. Maybe it was because you weren’t at home in your own bed.

Maybe it was just because you were in the hospital.

You couldn’t be sure. What you were sure of is that you weren’t falling asleep anytime soon.

Feeling another presence in the room, you looked from the ceiling to the doorway where you saw Tom, one of the night shift nurses, standing cautiously.

“I didn’t wake you did I?” He asked as he eased his way inside.

“Nope.”

“So no sleep again, huh?”

“Nope.”

“Sorry darling. Let’s go ahead and get these vitals over with.” He took your blood pressure, oxygen levels, temperature and wrote it down in your chart. Putting the clipboard back on its hook at the end of the bed, he looked up at your tired face. “Okay. So now about that sleep. What do you think will help?”

“Not being in the hospital.”

He chuckled lightly while walking back towards your bedside.

“I know. You hate it here. You’ve made that very clear and I try not to take too much offense to it.” You let out a slight laugh and held back the fact that he was the best part of this whole experience. He almost made it worth it. “I’m sorry we can’t give you any sleeping medication. Do you think it’ll help if I talk to you?”

“You mean tell me bedtime stories?” You couldn’t help but tease him at the adorable suggestion, though it sent a swarm of butterflies off in your stomach.

“I was thinking more like bore you ‘till you fell asleep. But whatever works.”

“You’re the nurse. If you think it’ll help.” You both sat there smirking at each other for a moment. Something unspoken floating in the air between you two.

“Well, I need to finish my round of vitals first. I’ll come check on you when I’m done and if you’re still up we’ll see about those stories.”

“I’ll be here.”

About fifteen or twenty minutes later you heard a light tap on your door followed by “Still awake?”

“Always.”

“You up for a chat?” Tom asked as he made his way to the stool then rolled slightly closer to your bed.

“Got nothing better to do.” You teased again.

“Okay. Well you should probably lay down.”

“Oh. It’s going to be that kind of story, huh?” His laugh was so beautiful and you were happy you were the cause of it.

“No.” He corrected in between laughs “The goal is to get you to sleep. So sitting up won’t help.”

“Right. Right.”

“Well.. anything in particular you’d like to talk about?”

“Why did you choose to become a nurse?”

“Ahhh. Good question. So I actually went to an art school.” You couldn’t help the brief expression of surprise that crossed your face. “I know. Shocking. I did training specifically in dance and gymnastics and I loved it.”

“Wait, so what happened?” You asked, turning on your side to face him more comfortably.

“Well one day we were rehearsing for a show and I fell. Ruined my knee. Had to do physical therapy for months. I tried to get back into it, but it just wasn’t the same. However, through that process I learned a lot about medicine and the health side of things. It really turned me on to it. And when my Plan A got a bit messed up I thought ‘hey, this could work’. So far it’s treated me pretty well.”

You smiled at Tom, admiring his passion for his career and the determination he had to keep pushing after his accident. You enjoyed hearing him talk about it too. If you didn’t know any better you would say it was helping you relax.

“My story that boring?”

“Obviously.”

“Your sarcasm has no end.”

“Oh… goodness.. you thought that was sarcasm?”

Tom only laughed and shook his head the way he often did with you.

You may just have been his patient and he may have just been your nurse, but you both bonded. He kept you company and gave you comfort. In return, you kept him entertained during the quiet night shifts.

“I’m not going to sleep. I'm just resting my eyes. But still listening.” You told him as you nestled further into the hospital bed, trying to find a position that would make it comfortable.

“Okay, darling.” He grinned at you.

“Tell me more. What kind of-” You had to stop to yawn, “What kind of art stuff did you do?”

“Oh. Well, I was in a few musicals. I really enjoyed dancing. I did ballet ever since I was young and I love the control I have over my body. The tricks I can do with gymnastics or the turns and leaps. I mean I can’t do them to that level anymore, but I try to stay active.” He glanced up and noticed you hadn’t moved, “Are you still with me?”

“Mhm.” You barely respond.

“Okay. Well it was a performing arts school so we really were trained in many areas. We had classes in acting, singing, dancing, all of it. It was a lot of fun and I met my best friends there.”

Tom began telling stories about his time at school. Before he knew it, he lost himself and track of time. He looked back at you, quiet and still.

“Y/N?” You were finally asleep. “Goodnight, darling.” He whispered as he gently made his exit.

Because Tom worked the night shift, you never saw him when you woke in the morning. Instead, Tanya, a sweet nurse that felt like a big sister, or Linda, Nurse Ratched in the flesh, came in for morning vitals and meds.

You counted down the days until your release. Life in the hospital was pretty uneventful with the limit on visitors and limited activity. There’s only so many sitcoms one can take in a given timespan. The only thing that you really looked forward to each night was when Tom clocked in.

“Hi Y/N.”

“Hi Tom.” You would smile at each other.

“How are we feeling today?”

“Better. Ready to get out of here.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear you are feeling better and still ready to jailbreak.” He smiled while writing something down on your chart. “They should be bringing up your dinner tray soon and then I’ll bring by your evening meds after that.”

“Okay.”

“If you need me you know what to do.” He called to you before walking out the door.

You were disappointed when Shelley brought your evening meds by later. She was a nice enough nurse. She just wasn’t Tom.

You’d grown accustomed to mainly having him as your nurse during the evening shift. At first you weren’t sure if it was coincidence or on purpose, but after a few nights of staying up and talking, you grew closer to him. You saw less of the other nursing staff and more of Tom.

You tried not to build anything up in your head. You were sure everything he was doing was in his job description and a part of being a good nurse.

He would sneak you extra pudding cups from the cafeteria and bring you an extra heated blanket because you could never stay warm. If you needed a new IV, he held your hand to ease the anxiety. He kept you company and made you feel less alone in such a sterile and intimidating place. And when he noticed you had trouble sleeping he chose to sit with you to help you fall asleep. You couldn’t help the butterflies that built in your stomach.

It became a sort of routine. He checked on you during evening vitals, even if someone else was doing them, and you were always still awake. He would then come and sit with you and chat for a bit, telling you different stories until you eventually fell asleep.

Some nights when you were extra restless he would help you walk the halls.

“The doctors have to see you’re stable enough before you can be discharged. Plus, maybe it’ll tire you out.” He suggested.

He would help get your IV pole ready so you could walk with it. He helped you into your slippers and eased you out of bed after passing you your robe.

Walking the hall slowly, Tom knew he had to remain professional, yet he found a few excuses to graze his hand across your back to ‘steady you’ when you turned corners or he thought you were looking tired.

“It might take me a while to get back to my usual jogs in the park, huh?” You laughed in spite of yourself.

“You’ll get there. Baby steps.” He encouraged, as you turned around the Nurse’s Station. You missed the faces the other night shift nurses were giving you both, but Tom was sure to subtly flick them off. “So, do you like running?” He asked as you headed back towards your room.

Throughout your late nights together, he told you of his three younger brothers and his dog named Tessa. You spoke about what you would do when you were out of hospital. He talked about his friends and flatmates and the adventures they had. He told you many stories, but each morning when you woke up he was clocked out and the day shift nurses were there.

Tonight was your last night. You’re set to be discharged tomorrow and while you are ecstatic to go home, you’re going to miss one thing about this place.

“I bet you’re too excited to sleep tonight. I don’t know if my stories will even help.” Tom said as he sat down next to you.

You smiled up to him sweetly.

“What are you looking forward to the most once you get out of here?”

“Sleeping in my own bed.”

“Well that’s no surprise.” Tom laughed, a contagious sound making you giggle as well. “Isn’t there anything you’ll miss about this place?”

“Yeah.” He smiled “There’s one thing.”

“What’s that?” He asks.

“The pudding cups.”

“Ahh the pudding cups of course.” You giggled while fiddling with the IV line.

“They just don’t taste the same in the outside world.”

His smile grew wider as you giggled.

“No, but really. As much as I give this place grief and say I’m ready to get out of here - which I am,” You gave him a pointed look to which he held his hands up in mock surrender, fully believing you, “it hasn’t been too terribly awful I guess.”

“Oh, well, I’m glad we could make your stay not too terribly awful.. I guess.” He teased. “Do you have anything exciting to look forward to once you’re a free woman?”

“Nothing huge planned, really. The doctors did say to take it easy.”

“That’d be wise.”

“Yeah. I’ll just lay low for a while. My sister said she may try to come visit me though so that would be nice.”

“Oh that would be nice. She’s your older sister right?”

“Right. She moved away last year to be closer to her boyfriend.”

“Ah. Do you like him?”

“Sorry?”

“This boyfriend. Do you like him?”

“He’s alright, I suppose. He makes her happy.” Tom nodded along.

“And do you have a boyfriend that makes you happy?”

“N-No. No I don’t. Not at the moment.” You began fiddling with the IV cord again.

“No boyfriend or not a boyfriend that makes you happy?” He asked.

“Neither.”

“Well that’s a shame.” If the heart monitor was connected you would’ve been screwed. “I just mean someone needs to look after you once you get home. I hope this sister comes through for a visit. You’ve got to take it easy.”

“Oh I’ll be fine.”

“I’m sure you will be.” He smiled.

“How has your shift been tonight? Busy?” You asked, fighting back a yawn.

“A bit busier than usual. There was a slight emergency earlier which is why Shelley handed out meds tonight. Sorry I didn’t come around.”

“It’s alright. I know you have other patients.”

“Yeah, but none like you.” You were sure he said that to all of his patients. After all, you’ve heard similar lines ever since you went to the pediatrician as a child. But it still gave you butterflies.

“Are you getting sleepy?”

“A little. But it’s okay.” He gave you a pointed look but continued to talk anyway. “It’s the last night. One final request for storytime. Make it a good one.”

You thought for a moment before asking your question.

“Do you ever wish that life turned out differently? That you never had your accident and you could’ve followed your dreams to be a dancer?” You asked while turning on your side and getting more comfortable.

“Sometimes. At least, I used to. But I think I’ve accepted it now. And I really can’t see myself doing anything but this.” You nodded taking in his answer “I look at it this way. If it wasn’t for my injury then I never would’ve changed my career path and found my love for medicine. I never would have made so many of the friends I’ve made or the memories I’ve made. I never would have met you.” He finishes with a sweet smile.

“That’s a very positive way of looking at it.” You told him. “Be honest, are you a therapist during the day?” He laughed out loud.

“No. I’m not. I guess I’m a big believer in ‘everything happens for a reason’.” You nodded while covering a yawn.

“So I’ve been curious to ask you,” He began, “Do you usually have this much trouble sleeping? Because you can get help for that you know?” You smiled at him.

“What? I thought a night nurse talking to you was the cure?” Tom smirked and shook his head. “I’m kidding. No, I normally don’t. It’s just the stiff sheets and hospital sounds I think.”

“Darn hospital.” He rolled his eyes and joked. “So this time tomorrow you’ll be sound asleep in your own bed then?”

You knew it was meant to be a happy statement, but you were a little sad at the thought of not having any more late night chats with Tom.

“Yes. Thank God.” You forced a smile.

You felt another yawn coming and tried to hold it back. It was already past the usual time that you fell asleep.

Tom could tell you were exhausted so he launched into a story from nursing school, hoping to lull you to sleep.

You yawned your way through listening, trying to soak up every last moment with Tom. In the morning he wouldn’t be here. You’d leave and likely never see him again.

When he finished, your eyes were half open and he wondered how you were still awake. Or maybe why.

“Why are you fighting it? The point is to sleep. Give in.” He told you gently after another yawn.

You looked up at him, half asleep and rubbing your eyes, not finding the confidence to tell him the true reason you were trying to stay awake.

“I’m happy right now.”

He smiled down at you.

“I am too. But you need your sleep, darling.” You weren’t sure what to say and you didn’t have much energy left in you anyway. “How about this. I’ve probably been in here too long as it is. Let me go check in at the Nurse’s Station and then I’ll come back and check on you soon and see if you’re still awake okay?”

The thought that he was leaving gave you a sad feeling in your stomach. You tried to remind yourself that he was just your nurse. Nothing more.

“Okay.” You smiled at him, sleepily, while settling further into the bed.

He stood up and instead of walking towards the door he walked closer to you. He grabbed the thin, white hospital blanket and pulled it closer around your shoulders.

“Goodnight, Y/N.” He whispered before he walked to the door.

“Tom?” You called out just before he opened it. He turned around with an expectant look, “Thanks for everything.”

Even though the room was dim you could see his smile.

“You’re welcome, Y/N. Get some sleep.”

You don’t remember much after that. You don’t know if Tom came back to check on you. You just remember falling asleep with a smile on your face.

When you woke up the following morning it felt like any other morning in the hospital.

The hallways were much louder. Beeps, chatter, and phones were constant. The lights were brighter.

But you were quickly reminded that it wasn’t any other morning. You were going home today.

The door creaked open and Tanya, one of your regular daytime nurses, poked her head in.

“Oh good you’re up.” She made her way inside and over to the gloves. “How’d you sleep?”

“Pretty good. Thanks.” She gave you a smile, something hidden behind it.

“I’m sure.” She said quietly to herself. You gave her a questioning look. “Oh I just mean I’m sure you’re excited to get out of here.”

You nodded as she took your vitals one last time.

“Everything looks good. What do you say about getting this IV out?”

“I say that sounds amazing.”

She took it out and bandaged up your arm while informing you of how the morning would go.

“Dr. McCoy is making rounds now then he’ll be by soon to go over your discharge. You can get dressed whenever you’re ready. If you need help, buzz me. You’ll still have a breakfast tray come, but you don’t have to eat it.” She gave you a wink while taking off her gloves.

“Thanks Tanya.”

“Of course, sweetie. And in case I don’t see you before you go, you’ve been a wonderful patient. Take care of yourself.” You smiled at her as she left you to change into some leggings and a sweatshirt.

You were packing your remaining things into your bag when your doctor walked in.

“Y/N! How are we doing today?”

“We’re doing great because we’re going home.” You smiled while taking a seat to rest for a few minutes.

“I know you’re excited.” He laughed before explaining the conditions of your discharge. You had medicines to take, a follow up appointment, and strict instructions to rest for the next few weeks. After signing some forms he left you with a stack of papers. “Is someone coming to pick you up?”

“Yeah my neighbor should be here within an hour.”

“Sounds good. Don’t hesitate to call us or come back in if you have any trouble or questions.”

“Will do. Thanks.”

A few minutes after he left a nurse brought in your breakfast tray. There wasn’t much of a point for it but since your discharge wasn’t technically until 10:30 am you were still a patient during breakfast.

You took the pudding cup that you requested with every meal off the tray before sliding it away. Smiling to yourself, you tucked it away in your bag. All you had left to do was wait for 10:30.

Tanya came in to check on you again and told you to buzz the Nurse’s Station when you knew your ride was here. At 10:27 you had a text from your neighbor that they were out front in the pickup zone. So you hit the call button.

“Yes?” Linda, the scariest dayshift nurse, answered.

“Um hi. Tanya told me to buzz in when my ride was here so I could go down.”

“Okay we’ll be right in.”

Not even a minute later you heard your door open. Expecting to see Tanya or maybe even Linda you looked up.

An audible gasp left your lips when Tom stood in your doorway with a wheelchair.

“I hear someone needs a ride?” He smiled as he made his way closer to the bed.

“Tom. What are you still doing here?”

“I pulled a double.” You wanted to ask why, but decided against it. You were still in a little bit of shock from seeing him again. “If you’d rather I can go get Linda to walk you down?” He pointed back towards your door.

“No! No.. I’m just surprised s’all.”

“Well come on. I thought you’d be running out of this place once the clock hit 10:30.” Glancing up you saw it was now 10:34. Your neighbor is probably tired of waiting already.

You grabbed your discharge papers and reached for your bag when you heard, “I got it.” Smiling at him, you sat down in the wheelchair. Tom placed the bag around his shoulder and kicked the brakes off the chair. “Ready?” You nodded up at him.

He rolled you out of the room that felt so small for a final time. You passed the Nurse’s Station and waved bye to the staff. He turned by the elevators and when you looked up at him in question, he read your mind. Looked down at you he said, “We’re taking the staff elevators.”

When you made it there he hit the button, turning you around and backing you in once the doors opened. He hit the button for the Lobby and leaned up against the wall of the elevator, briefly glancing at you, as you rode down together.

“Well you made it. You’re a free woman.” He smiled shyly.

“Yippee.” He met your eyes for a moment before looking back to the floor. The dynamics felt different. It wasn’t like your late night talks together.

“Listen, Y/N.” Tom began as he stood up from the wall and faced you. He was about to continue when the elevator ding cut him off, signaling you had reached your destination.

Maybe that was what was different. You had reached your destination.

You had a fun time talking with Tom and entertaining each other when you were both up late at night. He was fun to get to know and you enjoyed having someone care for you. He was easy to banter with and certainly easy on the eyes. But your time at the hospital was up. You knew it would be eventually. You wanted it to be.

Tom was a nurse. He was just doing his job. He was helping take care of you. He was being nice. He was trying to make your stay more comfortable. There was nothing to read into.

Your time being his patient was up and your time with him was up.

You tried to remain realistic, but the sadness still crept up as he rolled you closer to the door.

Once outside, you saw your neighbor exit the car and wave you over. Tom steered in the direction and slowed before rolling to a stop and hitting the brake locks on the wheels.

“Hi, I’m Taylor.”

“Tom.” They shook hands as Tom passed off your bag for Taylor to put in the backseat.

“I’m sorry for the circumstances, but it really has been a pleasure having you as a patient and getting to know you, Y/N.” Tom admitted as he walked around to face you. He grabbed the papers from your lap. “Take care of yourself, okay?” You had shared many smiles with Tom, but this one felt sadder.

“I will. Thank you for everything, Tom. I mean it.” You reached up and squeezed his hand. He gave you a light squeeze back while smiling down at you. Taylor returned from the backseat of the car and Tom turned to them.

“These are her important papers about follow up appointments, medications, what to do at home, all of that so please make sure she doesn’t lose any of them.” He emphasized the point.

“Got it. Thanks.” Taylor held onto the stack while Tom turned back to you.

“If I can’t handle a few papers on my own, then maybe I shouldn’t be going home yet, Tom.” You laughed.

“I know, I just wanted to make sure they made it home with you.” He walked closer. “You ready to get in?”

“Yeah.” You nodded. He helped you up, supporting you just as a precaution. Once seated, you took a moment to catch your breath as you pulled the seatbelt down. He met your hand, taking it from you to buckle you in.

“You good?”

You nodded with a smile, “Just a little tired. No biggie.”

He looked you over before returning your smile, though his didn’t quite reach his eyes, “If you need us, call us. Otherwise go home and rest.”

This was it. This was goodbye.

“Thanks, Tom.”

“Goodbye, Y/N.”

He shut the door. He walked back to the wheelchair, released the brake locks and headed inside. He looked back only when your car was driving away.

“Here’s those papers that are so important.” Taylor handed you the stack after they got in.

“Thanks.”

“So how are you feeling?”

“Better. Thanks.” You felt them looking at you as they joined traffic.

“You sure? You sound like you feel awful.”

You try to remind yourself to forget the sweet and attractive nurse and start moving forward.

“Yeah. Yeah I’m okay.” You decide to distract yourself by reading through your discharge paperwork, when something caught your eye. On top was a sticky note with the hospital’s letterhead. You were sure it wasn’t there before. Looking closer it read,

Y/N,

In case you need someone to talk to when you can’t sleep.

555-5555

P. S. I have a connection to some pretty good pudding cups too.

Tom

The smile that grew on your face was undeniable. All the feelings you suppressed came flooding in. He wasn’t just being nice. He actually liked you.

One thing you knew for sure was that even though you would be in your own bed tonight, you still would be up, talking to a very special nurse.

Lmk if you want to be on my tag list

[owlf45]

(1/3) okay holy smokes. holy moly smokes. listen i was in the OFA legacy week discord and saw your amazing art of Yoichi with the spark, and I LOST it. my eyes turned to actual hearts. and i was instantly like "i need to find this owl person's instagram," right? so I went there, but it seems you're not as active. no sweats no frets! except my cantaloupe brain forgot other social media existed, so i just resigned to it not being around, followed your insta, and went on my merry way

I don’t know if Tumblr ate the third part but that’s hilarious!! Always live for the moment when people connect my discord-tumblr-ao3 presence haha. Also yeah I. Routinely forget that Instagram exists,,

ANYWAY you and I are sharing the Yoichi brainrot I see!! Glad to be of service :]

[cherrycocaineee]

7. Sasuke Uchiha - Protection

   Early morning dew clung to the sides of my black shoes, the blades of pine green grass brushing against my exposed toes tickled and the only relief I found in that moment was wiggling them. Trudging alongside me was Naruto, his arms were wrapped behind his head and he was frowning. I could tell he was tired and getting up early was never Naruto’s thing but the Prince that we were protecting was a complete morning person. Standing in front of us was Kakashi Sensei; Sakura and Sasuke were walking on the other side of the large carriage. Morning sunlight started peeking up above the trees creating a small amount of heat against my pale, cool skin. A loud yawn escaped from between Naruto’s lips as we started walking up a steep hill.  “How much further?” Naruto complained, eyes half shut.    “We just started walking, Naruto,” Sakura scolded from behind the Prince’s carriage. “I know!” Naruto yawned again, “but I’m tired.”  A small scoff sounded from Sasuke, and Naruto glared in his direction as if he could see through the carriage. I reached out and touched my blue eyed, knuckleheaded friend while shooting him a small grin. My smile seemed to help Naruto settle down as he continued walking with a smile now on his face. Four hours went by of continuous walking and my feet were starting to get tired, a small aching sensation pounded against the ball of my foot. I whined quietly, not wanting the others to hear, however, Kakashi Sensei’s superior hearing caught it as soon as it fluttered from my lungs.  “Prince Kichi,” he’s deep voice rumbled, “how about we rest and eat something?”  “Sounds like a lovely idea,” Prince Kichi hummed, “pull over.”  Everyone moved off of the path, pulling out their lunch to eat. I watched as Naruto made himself a quick bowl of instant ramen, smiling big as he waited for his noodles to steam up. I pulled out a bento box and started nibbling on some of the rice and other things I had packed, but really I was just enjoying not being on my feet. Lunch continued on for thirty minutes before we were up and stomping through the path once more. However, the happy trip didn’t last very long when my team and I noticed that there was a group of ninjas following us, hiding in the trees and leafy bushes. Naruto looked over at me with slanted eyes, my byakugan was activated and I held up five fingers indicating that there were five ninjas.   The five ninjas moved quickly amongst the green landscape, but I found myself laughing at the fact that they weren’t very good at sneaking around. That’s when my eyes widened as I noticed that another source of chakra flow was coming from beneath Kakashi Sensei. He didn’t seem to notice since he was more focused on the one moving beside him.  “Kakashi Sensei!” I yelled out, making him look at me, “move!”   Just as I warned him to get out of the way, the underground ninja slammed through the ground and latched onto Kakashi Sensei’s foot. He dragged Team 7’s leader into the ground up to his head before standing before all of us. Sasuke, Sakura, Naruto, and I stood between the rogue ninjas, who had joined the ninja who assaulted our Sensei, and Prince Kichi’s carriage. With my byakugan deactivated, I removed my kunai from my ninja pouch, the others following the same movement.  “Why don’t you four children step out of the way,” growled the leader, “we just want the prince.”  “If you want him, you’ll have to go through us,” Sasuke stated, a small smirk dancing across his lips, “now Kakashi, stop messing around.”  Kakashi Sensei bursted into a small amount of smoke and jumped down from a tree in front of us. Sakura squealed, “Kakashi Sensei!” Even though he wore a mask over his mouth, I could almost feel the smile on his face. Kakashi Sensei  looked at Sakura and I.  “Sakura, Akiko, guard the prince.”  “Right!” We said in unison. Naruto and Sasuke ran to join our sensei as the fight raged on. Sakura and I stayed behind guarding the prince as one of the rogues threw their kunai in our direction, his target obviously for the prince’s head as it slammed into the carriage, scraping his cheek. A small cry left Prince Kichi’s lips as he clasped his hand over the slightly bleeding cut. Sasuke turned around.  “Akiko! Behind you!” He yelled. I turned around and saw one of the ninjas charging at me. He started moving his hands to mimic symbols.  “Water Release: Water Cannon.”  His mouth pursed into a small circle as water came rushing out in quick, swift movements from his mouth. Steam hovered over the rocket of water. Sakura gasped, but I had to move quickly. My hands, with the speed of a jonin, created all the symbols needed for my move. The water was inching closer and closer.  “Ninja Arts: Barrier Seal Jutsu!”  Blue chakra from my body wrapped itself around the prince, Sakura, and I just as the gush of water slammed against it, bouncing off. The now hardened chakra protected the three of us from our enemies' attack. I pulled the kunai from the carriage and charged at the male ninja still trying to penetrate my barrier. Unfortunately for him, the chakra barrier was impenetrable. His eyes widened as I ran towards him, his kunai ready in my small hands. “Damn brat!” He hissed angrily. He went to punch me when I jumped up, avoiding his fist just a bit. His eyes widened as I slammed my foot into the back of his head causing him to fall to the ground. I landed on my feet inside the barrier as he climbed to his wobbling feet. I turned to Sakura and held out my hand.  “Give me a paper bomb,” I said, earning a nod from her as she set the paper bomb in my hand.  I attached the slim piece of paper onto the borrowed kunai and smiled.  “Let me give you back your kunai,” I said softly, my delicate hand tossing the cool metal towards our attacker.   Since he was still a bit taken aback from the hit to the head, he didn’t realize that the kunai now had a paper bomb latched to it and as it hit the ground, the bomb went off, causing a massive explosion and a loud scream to echo from his mouth. Sakura cheered. Kakashi Sensei was taking on the leader and another ninja while Naruto and Sasuke were teaming up against a third one. However, one of the rogues was missing and before I could activate my byakugan to see where he was hiding, a metal chain wrapped itself around Sasuke and yanked him around. Sasuke screamed out in pain as he was slammed through two trees and right into a large boulder.  “Sasuke!” Sakura cried out. The young Uchiha was lying against the cold stone and the ninja used that to his advantage. His large, muddy hands rapidly formed a group of symbols together, an evil smile appearing on his face. Sasuke couldn’t move from his restraints. He was also badly injured, making it impossible for him to stand up and move.  “Earth Release: Stone Spear.” Kakashi Sensei wasn’t able to get away from his opponents to rescue Sasuke and Naruto was being held against his opponent’s chest firmly. Sakura was frozen in place and trembling, tears slipping from her widened sea foam green eyes. Her small hand covering her mouth as the spear hurtled it’s way towards our bound teammate.   Making the ultimate decision, I ran from my spot behind the chakra barrier and moved in front of Sasuke. Everything felt slow. Naruto’s screaming for me to get out of the way, the dark chuckling coming from our opponents, Sakura’s screams, Kakashi’s movements as he used his chidori to free himself to come to our aid. But I didn’t waver. My skinny frame slid in front of Sasuke just as the spear slammed into me, piercing my skin through my white long sleeve shirt. It was now lodged into my abdomen and a high-pitched yelp struck the air. As I was crumbling to the ground, Kakashi Sensei used his chidori striking the two ninjas and the one that had used the stone spear. The last ninja released Naruto and scampered off into the woods. My body collapsed to the ground and everything started moving at a normal speed once more. All the air in my lungs was thin, tiny pants were leaving my chapped lips as I tried to catch my breath, metallic blood hugged my tastebuds. I could even feel the blood from my abdomen soaking my white shirt and lavender, overall skirt. Sasuke, who’d freed himself from his confinements, ran over with the rest of team 7. Prince Kichi stood in the distance, still protected by the faltering barrier. Soon it would be gone while I continued to black out.  “Akiko,” Naruto croaked, tears whelming up in his eyes.  Kakashi Sensei had removed the stone spear from my body and pressed his hand strongly against my wound.  “It’s okay, Akiko,” Kakashi said, worry laced in his voice, “you’re going to be okay.”  My eyes fluttered until they were staring at Sasuke, who was staring at me with wide eyes. I coughed, a wheezing sound leaving my lips, and I looked back at Kakashi Sensei.  “K-Ka-Kakashi S-Sensei,” I stuttered. “Shh, shh,” he whispered, “it’ll be okay. I promise.”  “Why?” Sasuke rasped, tears now forming in his eyes, “why would you throw yourself in front of me like that, knowing you’d be killed?”  “Don’t say that!” Yelled Naruto, eyes searing with pain and anger, “she’s not going to die! I won’t let her!” Sasuke didn’t react to Naruto’s outburst. I blinked once, and it was a slow blink.  “B-because if I d-didn’t, you w-would have d-d-died. T-then how would y-you revive your c-clan.”  Pain slashed through my body and I screamed, the pressure from Kakashi Sensei’s hand causing a small ache to erupt. I started seeing stars, my eyes started fluttering as everything became fuzzy, my friends’ voices fading more and more. I watched Kakashi Sensei’s face as he stared at me with desperation. Then everything went black.

Heat. That’s what I felt as my eyes opened. I was greeted by the sight of twinkling stars and the soft crackling of fire. Every inch of my body was aching with terrible shutters of pain. Slowly, and carefully, I started moving again, noticing that a sleeping Naruto was curled up beside me, his cheeks stained with dry tears. I looked around and saw Sakura also sleeping close to the fire, her hands stained with blood. Finally, I looked at myself and noticed that I wasn’t wearing my overall skirt anymore, just my black shorts and white shirt, which was still ruined with crimson, red blood.   Sighing, I pulled myself up from my spot, wincing as pain shot through my like pellets. I whimpered as I turned around, wanting to move and stop the growing ache in my body.  “Akiko.”  I snapped my head up and saw Kakashi Sensei sitting against the tree, wondering how I had missed him when looking at Sakura and Naruto. I also noticed that his uniform was coated in my blood as well.  “Kakashi -” As soon as I started speaking, I started coughing.  He was quick to come to my side, handing me a canteen of water. The nice, soothing water coated my burning throat.  “How are you feeling?” He asked, his revealed eye illuminating concern and worry as he watched me struggle.  “I’m so sore,” I whimpered.   “Maybe you should be laying back down.”  Shaking my head, I noticed that I didn’t see Sasuke sleeping amongst the others.  “Where’s Sasuke?”   Kakashi Sensei pointed to the top of the cliff in the distance where Sasuke was sitting, staring at the night sky. Kakashi Sensei, who had his hand firmly on my back supporting me, gently pushed me in his direction. I smiled a small appreciative smile before realizing that I still needed to thank him for coming to my aid as quickly as he did. I engulfed my sensei into a warm hug.  “Thank you, Kakashi Sensei.”  “Of course, Akiko.”  Sasuke sensed I was coming before I even finished walking towards him, immediately coming to my side as he saw me hobbling towards him. The two of us sat down comfortably underneath the blinking sky. It took me a long time to catch my breath since I was still hurting. I could feel my bandages tightening around my stomach as I sat. Once my breathing was caught up, I turned to Sasuke and smiled.  “You okay?” I asked, realizing how stupid the question it was when I slipped out.  “Me?” He questioned, raising a single eyebrow, “you’re the one who was impaled.” I giggled, shuttering in pain, “guess you’re right. But you did get injured too when you were slammed around.”   Sasuke didn’t reply and worry started seeping through my skull, the feeling of him being angry at me for showing him up made me want to puke. However, Sasuke didn’t seem to care about that when he started speaking again.  “You’re an idiot,” he whispered, “throwing yourself into danger like that. What would Naruto do without you. Or hell, Sakura. What would… what would I do without you?”  His sudden outburst of emotion surprised me. He was never one to become emotional, and I not only felt surprised but happy that he trusted me enough to be this way toward me.  “What do you mean?” I asked.  “Akiko, you’re the only girl who doesn’t run around throwing herself at me to win my affection, my love, my attention. You’re the only girl who looks at me and wants to improve on your ninja skill rather than gawk at me. The only girl I’m willing to talk to and get to know. I never want to see you hurt like that again, especially for me. I want you to stand by Naruto’s side, reach your own goals…”  I stopped his talking by wrapping my arms around him, hugging his sulking form, and resting my weak head against his strong shoulder. His tense body relaxed and he wrapped his arms around me. We sat there for a few minutes enjoying the warmth of one another before I released him. His scent lingered in my nose for a few minutes.  “Sasuke, I care about you. You’re my friend and I couldn’t bear to watch you get hurt. I also couldn’t bear to watch Sakura lose the person she loves the most, even if her girly crush can get a bit annoying. I would do it again, if it meant protecting those I loved and cared about. Even you.”   A small smirk appeared on his face and he pulled me back into his grasp. He eventually pulled me into his lap and rested my head against his chest. I felt a small pink tint rush to my cheeks as I listened to Sasuke’s beating heart. It was slow and steady, the pace slowly relaxing me back to sleep. “Don’t get use to this,” he whispered, “I’m only doing this because I was the reason you got hurt.”  A gentle giggle left my lips. It was a complete lie and I knew it. He even knew.  “And next time, I’ll save you.” He pressed a gentle kiss to my forehead, but I didn’t get enough time to react as another wave of sleep hit me. Soon I was snoozing right in Sasuke’s chest listening to the small pitter patter of his heart.

[shyvioletcat]

I have no idea if you’ve seen NCIS: LA, but they have an episode just like your fic Treacherous of two agents posing as a married couple in the suburbs!! It’s season 3 episode 22 for reference!

Prompt based on that: A comes home and sees blood, panics and follows the trail thinking B has been hurt/killed. Carefully pushes the door open and finds A has simply cut their foot and didn’t hear B

I have watched some and I did go looking for this episode but came up bust in my search. It could have provided some good inspiration I’m sure. We all love a good fake relationship.

*EDIT: TAGLIST DONE. Sorry if you’ve already seen it and are getting the notification.*

Treacherous Masterlist

~~~~~

Grabbing the shopping bags out of the boot of the car Rowan swept his foot under it to activate the automatic close, all the while suppressing a yawn. He was dead tired. Aelin had gotten her revenge after the pen incident, setting an alarm clock in his room to wake him up at exactly 3:47. The damned thing hadn’t been within reach so he had to get out of bed to turn it off. And from copious missions together Aelin knew once he was up, he was up so he’d hadn’t bothered to try and get back to sleep. Knowing her she might have set others up in the room anyway, even if he had tried to sleep again paranoia would have kept him awake. All the while she slept blissfully across the hall.

Being just the two of them in the house they hadn’t bothered to keep up the bed sharing part of the charade. They slept in separate rooms and thank the gods for that. If he didn’t have that space to himself he might have never been able to get away from her and have some quiet. Aelin seemed to fill every room she was in and it was suffocating for him… most of the time. She had a way with people he had admired at times, it was what made her such a good agent, especially when undercover. Not that he would ever tell her any of that. No need to inflate her already insufferable ego.

When he had grumpily asked her over his third cup of coffee why she’d chosen 3:47 exactly she’d smiled at him, bright and cheery as ever after sleeping in until 8 o’clock, and alluded to some lockeroom talk she’d heard about certain measurements—in millimetres. When he had rolled his eyes she had gone on to clarify she was talking about 30 and not just 3 he’d promptly left the room, well and truly done with her immaturity. Her laughter had chased him out.

Shifting the shopping bags so he could open the back door, Rowan entered the kitchen expecting to find Aelin in there preparing the food for the ridiculous party tomorrow while listening to some obnoxious music very loudly just to piss him off. But she wasn’t, in fact the house was silent.

“Aelin,” he called, stepping around the length of the counter.

That was when he saw the blood.

Rowan dropped the bags, things crushing on impact. The blood pooled in one spot, then splatters made a path across the tiles. He didn’t have a gun on him, but there were enough stashed around the house and he found one in a low kitchen drawer. It was pointed and ready in moments and Rowan made sure he didn’t disturb the blood on the linoleum floor.

“Aelin,” he called again. “Agent Galathynius.”

Still silence. He followed the trail of blood towards the small bathroom that was on the bottom level, his heart pounding in his ears. There wasn’t enough that the situation looked dire, but the assailant may have dragged her off to another location, hidden away from windows. Why hadn’t the team been alerted to anything? Where was the back-up? Panic started to fill him, but his training kept it under control. If something had happened to Aelin…

He shook his head to shake out the thought. She was a perfectly capable agent, one of the best. Rowan was overreacting and he needed to calm down. A deep breath in and he nudged the door, when there was no reaction he kicked it open, gun ready. Eyes darting around the room, his gun dropped to the side when he took in the scene before him.

Aelin was seated on the floor, holding wads of toilet paper on a wound on her foot, wincing from what he gathered to be pain. She hadn’t noticed his entrance and was still focused on her foot.

“Aelin,” Rowan said, but got no response, so he tried a little louder. “Aelin.”

She jumped looking up at him. “Why do you have a gun?”

“Did you not hear me calling out?” Rowan asked, putting the safety back on the gun.

Aelin took small earbuds out of her ears. “What?”

Rowan rubbed a hand over his face, panic turned to exasperation. “I called out to you and you didn’t answer.”

“Podcast,” she held up her earbuds in explanation. “But the gun?” Aelin then asked him, her attention going back to her foot.

“The blood trail…” he said but didn’t elaborate.

Aelin straightened where she sat and looked up at him, then laughed. “Did you think I’d been murdered in the bathtub?”

Rowan didn’t answer her question. “Would you mind telling me what happened exactly?”

Aelin sighed. “I was trying to cook and I knocked a knife off the counter and my hands were full so I couldn’t catch it. It nicked my foot and now here we are.”

“Okay,” Rowan said, the adrenaline finally settling and he knelt down to assess the injury.

“What are you doing?” Aelin brows were furrowed in confusion.

“Inspecting the cut, you can’t get at it from the right angle,” Rowan said, turning her foot and earning a hiss.

“I can do it myself,” Aelin said and tried to pull her foot away but Rowan held firm. She relented with an over dramatic sigh and leaned her back on the bathtub.

Aelin had already got down what he needed, so he cleaned the cut up and foot, putting a large bandaid on it to stop the bleeding. “There,” Rowan said succinctly, brushing a thumb unconsciously along Aelin’s arch before letting go, making her suppress a laugh. She was ticklish.

“Hmm,” Aelin said, looking at him curiously.

“What?” Rowan asked, standing and washing his hands. When he turned around to dry his hands on a towel she was still looking at him.

“Careful Whitethorn, someone might think you were concerned for my well-being if they found out about this.”

“Not likely,” Rowan scoffed. “It was the paperwork I was concerned about.”

Aelin snorted and walked past him, Rowan taking a moment before he followed. There had been a moment when… He shook his head. Concern for a partner was only natural, no matter the feelings of enmity between them. The two of them couldn’t stand each other, but that didn’t mean he wanted her hurt or dead. Rowan left the bathroom, headed for the kitchen to put away the groceries when he heard a frustrated exclamation.

“Are you serious, Rowan?”

Any concern he had felt evaporated at Aelin’s tone. Entering the kitchen he found her holding a carton of eggs, leaking yellow and clear goop. They must have cracked when he dropped the bags in his panic at the blood.

“You need to go get more,” she told him, dropping the ruined eggs in the trash.

“No, I am not,” Rowan groaned. He was tired, he didn’t want to take another trip to the grocery store across town.

“Oh, you are. I needed those eggs for the barbecue tomorrow, so because of your overreaction over a little bit of blood I am now eggless,” Aelin explained. There was no answer from him as Aelin unrolled some paper towel to clean up both egg and blood. “Off you go.”

Too tired to fight anymore Rowan just grabbed his keys and left to get more precious eggs.

~~~~~

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[felikatze]

give me the a brainworms i am deeply invested in this man

(0) (2) (3) (4)

okay first of all you asked for this. second of all if i am a little off track from the game that is explained by me just building thoughts like building blocks without looking back. third i was supposed to be studying for an exam but this counts as practice right? it's character analysis anyway lmao.

buckle the fuck up, my dearest anon, because I have sub headings.

1. A as the Player Character

Let me begin with why I am obsessed with this horrid little guy in the first place: he's a silent protagonist. I am always obsessed with protagonists. It's a law of nature. I love taking hollow characters and dissecting them for scraps. It's a long standing practice of mine.

Being a silent protagonist, A, as X, does not have a set personality. However, there are patterns. Firstly, as any semi-silent protagonist, A is a reactive character. He does not start incidents, he only responds to situations, presented by the Sephirah, as they arise. He does not actively seek out new information, merely going about the routine of expanding departments, but expresses curiosity when information is presented to him.

I'm aware fandom likes to characterize X and A differently, likely because they are initially presented as different characters. I, on the other hand, would like to pose the theory that they are more similar than expected.

I believe that A is also a reactive character, rather than active. Despite the fandom wiki describing him as stubborn, the goal A pursues with such fervor, the completion of the Seed of Light, is not actually a goal he set for himself. Carmen is the one who set this goal for him by leaving him her legacy.

Throughout the backstory we get relating to the Cogito Project, A is Carmen's assistant, whereas Carmen is the driving researcher. This is how many of the City's inhabitants seem to be; going with the flow of goals set for them by superiors. Yes I will get into his attachment to Carmen later.

The above is not to say A isn't stubborn. Once he has accepted a goal as his own, he will pursue it at all costs, as is obvious from any and all flashbacks leading to horrible deaths. But the point isn't his pursuit of the goal, but where that goal comes from. Even Lobcorp itself supports this, despite what Hokma may say; A as X follows the "simple" task of managing the Corp's day to day activities, and executes any mission given to him by the Sephirah. He outranks them, and doesn't actually need to do their missions, but does so anyway. Players are driven by the reward offered by those missions, of course, and A might be the same in that regard. Nonetheless, at no point in gameplay do you do anything somebody else hasn't told you to.

The overarching narrative of the Script would be the most obvious example. Every single person in the game follows the script, whether they know it or not.

Lastly on this note, a phrase we hear attributed to A, "Machines must behave as machines." Now, Angela may be attached to this phrase because it bears significance to herself as a machine, and informs most of A's unjust treatmeant of her. However, what if it doesn't just apply to machines? The phrase reads as such, "Everyone must act according to their own role."

2. A, Carmen, and the disease of the mind

So, A will at any cost pursue goals Carmen set for him. Question is, why? The obvious answer would be saying he's in love with her, which like, true. But also, how did Carmen come to be so precious to him?

Let us return to the comparison, "This is how many of the City's inhabitants seem to be." We don't really know why exactly most characters joined Carmen, excluding mainly Daniel and Benjamin. But this does not mean we can't have theories.

Carmen's ideal was curing the "disease of the mind." What is the disease? Complete hopelessness. The inability to form aspirations and dreams, to think of a better future. A is a very reactive character who does not set goals for himself. Therefore, I personally conclude, that initially, Carmen's ideology resonated with him because he could identify with the disease.

This is the point where I start rewatching Lobcorp story clips. Dear god.

So, by briefly binging day 27 onward, I've come up with lines that very much support this lil theory of mine:

First, from Carmen, a description of the disease, "People lock away their own potential."

Second, a line from Angela, after the memory synchronization, "You've locked yourself in this prison without bars."

Carmen describes A as humble, and Benjamin thinks he is warm. If I suppose A was one of the diseased initially, Carmen would be the catalyst for this change. Carmen was someone with big aspirations, with plans to heal what is wrong with the City, and it gave him hope. He was one of the diseased, but through time with Carmen, with that relentless optimistic spirit, he may have been cured, for a time. It's not a stretch to say that she was his light.

But lor shows us what happens when the seed of light sprouts wrong, doesn't it? It distorts. A grasped hope for the first time and then it is ruthlessly crushed. Carmen was everything. Yes, A is described as a jack-of-all-trades, as a genius in all pursuits he puts his mind to, but what does that matter in the face of someone who can unite people? Who can give them hope of a better world? Who can inspire them to actually use the talents they have?

And what kind of pressure is it to put the legacy of a messiah in the hands of the diseased?

3. A and the Perception Filter: A is weak to White damage

No, I am serious about that. He's extremely weak mentally. Obviously death of a loved one is a changing experience for absolutely anybody, but Carmen's death destroyed him.

Not only did he refuse to confide this grief to anyone and bottled it up, now everybody looked to him to lead the project, but he just isn't Carmen. He isn't an ambitious person, he doesn't have the same optimism, he can't bring people together, but people expected him to, and he failed. Hard.

While he was without a doubt talented in science, he was also just an average guy.

After her death, A grew to hate humans. He lost trust in them. He refused to confide in anyone, and be confided in by anyone. Thus, the team fell apart.

In both lobcorp and lor, we get interesting tidbits about precations taken to protect the manager.

Firstly, Lobcorp's perception filter. The cartoony art-style of the game is a result of the game being in first person. Through the eyes of the manager, everything is cartoony!

This is a measure undertaken to specifically protect the manager's psyche. Angela tells us that, before it was deployed, the manager would frequently go insane, one notable incident including the manager trying to hang himself. When we first hear this, the previous managers and X are still separate in our minds. However, they're all A! A went insane multiple times without it.

This is understandable, considering that employees also frequently go insane and try to kill both themselves and others. But they're there in action, confronting the Abnormalities directly. Just watching them made the manager go mad. They could not handle the responsibility for the employees' deaths.

In lor, Angela explains why she picked the Rabbit Team from R Corp as their main contractor instead of any other team. One team was simply too big for L Corp's narrow hallways, and the other team... dealt in psychic damage. It was simply too big of a risk for the manager. But the manager is always secure behind the cameras. Would that teams methods just be that brutal visually, or would their attacks have reached the manager?

Combined with his immense grief at all of his friends and coworkers dying in part because of him, A cannot bear to look at death.

4. A's greatest flaw: Avoidance

A common thread during Core Meltdown flashbacks: A refuses to look at suffering. He just can't. Whether it be looking away from Elijah writhing on the floor or hanging up on Daniel's panicked report of death.

This is actually the thing Angela takes the biggest issue with, and what hurt her most. A would never look at her, acknowledge her, and she did not understand why. But I think A did not refuse to look at her out of maliciousness. Rather, it was out of grief over Carmen. He could not look at her without being reminded of what he lost.

Angela's creation came about because A wanted someone to guide him, someone like Carmen. He threw himself into the project to the point it made Benjamin happy that A was passionate about anything again. But as soon as the project he distracted himself with is complete, he is filled with regret. Carmen cannot be replicated, and he breaks again.

Furthermore, tying this back to my first point about A being a reactive person, we see Angela take charge over A. She's the one recruiting employees and leading the business. It was likely a relief for him to be able to step down from the leading position.

But avoiding it made everything worse. He did not act when he saw Elijah's unchecked ambition, he did not act beyond a simple check at Gabriel's decay, he gave Giovanni the same hope he clung to to no avail, et cetera et cetera.

Avoiding his problems is making them worse and sending everything down the drain (including his psyche), so he deals with it the only way he knows how, avoiding them more!

Biggest example of A's big avoidance problem as his psyche crumbles: the memory wipe. A, in perhaps his one singular moment of acknowledging his emotions, recognizes that he is incapable of fulfilling the Script in his current state. His grief is just too much.

By erasing his own memory, he could start fresh without his grief, because he might've really killed himself otherwise. His suffering became bigger and bigger, and he coped by avoiding it.

The memory wipe allowed him to distangle his problems. Through his interactions with the Sephirah (which I will not individually detail for the sake of my sanity and because I dumped all this on a friend on discord already), he can deal with and actually process his issues one at a time.

As the motto describes, only by facing the fear can he build the future. Only by finally facing his grief and acknowleding it, seeing that the past cannot be changed and he has no choice to move forward, can he actually do so.

5. The Sephirah as ghosts

Lobotomy Corporation feels like a ghost story. I've touched upon this in my previous A post.

As you reach the Corp's lower levels, there are less Sephirah. First there are four. They act like normal employees, and do not breach into the story's underbelly until you reach their core supressions and the facade breaks. Second, counting Tiphereth as one, there are three. They still go about their duties, but they know what they are. Third, there are two, and the facade is gone. They know what they are, and they will tell you about the sins of the past.

And finally, you reach Keter, and there is only one.

This gradual decay of the facade is what really gets to me. I said that by interacting with the Sephirah, A deals with his issues one by one, but that's what the Sephirah are, in this case. Representations.

The people the Sephirah used to be are dead, and the Sephirah are their ghosts. The core supression involve putting these ghosts to rest. Doesn't it match the progression of a typical ghost story? Find the ghost, find what they used to be, and help them move on.

So, if everyone is a ghost, then A is alone.

But, behind the scenes, the Sephirah are still there. They are still people, and they have changed for the better, too. As always, A simply does not look.

(Does he even see the good others see in him? Does he look away from praise, too? Did he even realize Benjamin's admiration for him? Will we ever know?)

6. A's end.

A's progression of moving on would be fine and dandy if it did not end as thus: A does kill himself.

A sees himself beyond the point of no return. Everyone is dead. He is alone. Carmen is never coming back. He can't call it quits now, or else everything has been in vain. (Even if the last days show us a part of him wants to just quit, so badly.)

So, there's only one thing left to do: follow the Script to its ending. Fulfill Carmen's legacy at all costs. Death as the ultimate release.

This is the point where I admit I do not like the death as release trope. But the game does a good enough job as presenting it as the only option A had, or the only option he saw himself as having.

However, I've mentioned it before, I'll mention it again: A was not alone. Death was his release, but he left wreckage. In order to end his own suffering, he inflicted the same pain he went through on others.

Throughout the game, he moves on and pushes through. The ending shows that in reality... he didn't.

At least in lor the characters stick together and help each other heal.

This has been most of my thoughts on A, amounting to my longest analysis post ever, having taken me approximately two and a half hours to complete, and clocking in at 2337 words including up to this paragraph.

Thank you anon for giving me the incentive to verbalize all of this, so I can finally be at ease having inflicted my thoughts on everybody else.