#the misadventures of twilight dad

[frazzledsoul]

It's generally left out in the annals of bad behavior/infidelity in the Gilmore Girls canon, but I just want to review the details of Lorelai's "situationship" with Twilight Dad in season 3 when she is in the midst of lecturing Jess and Rory on proper boyfriend/girlfriend etiquette.

Lorelai meets Alex (aka Twilight Dad) on 3.11, which aired on January 21. She and Alex are third wheels when Sookie meets up with an old friend and accidentally sets up a date with him (this takes place during the episode where Rory and Paris fence and have intense sexual tension). I think he asks her out during this episode.

One week later, on 3.12 (airing on February 28) Lorelai and Alex have a coffee date. They discuss the coffee shop he's opening and his two kids who he shares custody with his ex. He suggests a fishing date, and Lorelai ropes Luke into teaching her how to fish. Bear in mind that she has known Luke has crushed on her for the better part of two years.

Anyway, after this incident, Luke decides to give up on Lorelai and asks Nicole out.

The next episode is 3.13, which is the flashback episode. It airs on February 4. This is Luke and Nicole's first date. Nicole definitely does not spend the night.

3.14 airs on February 11. This is Swan Song, where Lorelai is antsy about Rory and Jess possibly fucking, he gets beaked in the eye by the ghost of Shane, they fight, and at the end of the episode Alexis makes a way too realistic moan into Milo's mouth and Rory goes home and tells Lorelai that she's totally going to do Jess at some point.

So Alex and Lorelai have been going out for three weeks, and they decide to go away together with Sookie and Jackson. Sounds kind of serious. It's also mentioned in this episode that in the one week he's been dating Nicole Luke has been on a bunch of overnight trips to New York and seen a bunch of Broadway plays with his girlfriend. I guess we're supposed to assume there's a time jump here because there's no way he did all that within a week.

I'll also point out here that even though Luke mentions he interrupts Rory and Jess every ten minutes so they don't get around to having sex, if he's also making overnight trips to New York they're probably being left alone in the apartment at night quite a bit. Pair that with the offscreen "movie nights" we hear about later and yeah, uh, I think we can figure out what is taking place because no way is that going on in Lorelai's house unless it's also happening while she's out with Alex.

3.15 is February 18, the hockey episode. Jess doesn't call Rory to arrange a date and Lorelai lectures him on his terrible boyfriend behavior. Then he shows up with hickey tickets (and then some!) and I'm guessing Rory's virginity became fairly technical in the car afterwards.

3.16 is the episode where Paris is rejected from Harvard, which airs on February 25. Lorelai is delighted to know that Rory has not actually had sex and that she has "the good kid". She also makes out with Max and then tells Rory all about it and when Rory asks about poor Twilight Dad, Lorelai says "I don't know." I'm thinking you really should not be giving lectures on morality and proper relationship etiquette, hon. Also two weeks ago the relationship was serious enough to include an overnight weekend, but now it doesn't matter? Huh.

So let's skip ahead to Keg. Max, which is three episodes and two months later, which airs on April 25. I'm assuming there actually was a time jump between Luke and Nicole's first date and the swan episode and these episodes actually took place much closer together than they aired, as there's a lot of stuff going on with Luke finding out Jess is skipping school, steals his car to force him to go, and Jess finally being told he isn't graduating that seems like it would take place much closer in time. Anyway, it seems that Lorelai concludes that her relationship with Twilight Dad is over, because "it's become more intermittent". Does she call him and ask them if their relationship is over? I think we all know the answer to that one. Lorelai tries to push herself on Max after he says no and acts like she's the one that's been affronted when he shoves a table between them. I think there was supposed to be a parallel between Lorelai and Jess crossing boundaries in this episode, although I'm not sure why Lorelai did what she did for any reason other than she felt like it.

I really feel someone who behaves in this manner should not be lecturing her teenage daughter or her boyfriend about what a real relationship looks like, nor should she be evaluating who or who isn't "the good kid" based on what she's been doing. It appears Alex was just cheated on and dropped without explanation as the relationship was getting serious. Rory was fully aware of what was happening and further got the message that it is okay to do this sort of thing if an ex boyfriend enters the picture because if he was yours first, it's okay to cheat with him whenever you feel like it. I'm sure that's not something she's going to take to heart or anything.

Anyway, fair well Twilight Dad. I'm sure you'll have more interesting adventures in the PNW from now on.

[botticelli-angels-minion]

Twilight style you were turned at 17 you have to go to school AU but it’s Armand going to college with Daniel’s daughter and being her lab partner or something and then he’s like “so your dad” and she’s very alarmed because she thinks he’s like 19 and then finds out he’s a vampire and there are misadventures and also he lands the DILF

[pigspeetsandhooflikefeets]

At the end of the season Tirek and Chrysalis are going to get married and adopt Cozy Glow. The season finale is just 44 minutes of the Mane 6 encountering one misadventure after another on their way to deliver the rings to the wedding. The wedding will be officiated by Diamond Tiara whose absence for the past few seasons is explained as her spending two years learning to become an ordained minister. Tirek turns out to be a disguised Cadance, seeking revenge on Chrysalis for ruining her wedding.

I’m proud of Diamond Tiara. She’s come a long way.

Rarity: How do they even wear these rings?

Twilight: Well, Chrysalis has a horn. One with a lot of holes, but a horn still.

Fluttershy: What if she changes forms?

Rainbow: That’s her problem.

Applejack: Tirek doesn’t have a horn like Chrysalis though. What about him?

Twilight: I guess he’ll just pick a horn and put the ring on it?

Pinkie: HOW ARE YOU FIVE NOT FOCUSING ON THE SNAKE PROBLEM

Cozy Glow, after taking a long swig of punch: I’m not calling him ‘dad’

[nancyheart11]

vbhjasbhkjbka I got tagged by 2 amazing writers!!! thank you @skyward-floored @ajscico

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

9! (though i have one i'm planning to post tomorrow ;)

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

54,472! though without others words in Dad squad it's closer to 45,000

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Legend of Zelda and linkeduniverse mostly these days. Occasionally write a tiny bit for Danny Phantom

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

The Blush of Dawn My longest fic by far and the one that made me get into writing fic for the first time since middle school! It's about Twi getting turned into a shadow beast :)

Baby Breeze A tooth rotting fluffy fic featuring De-aged Wind and Big-bro Twilight. Was supposed to be a one-shot and whoops now i need to come up with a third chapter XD

Warriors nervous breakthrough What if Warriors had such bad nerve damage from the war it caused problems? also featuring a fun hc for the beginnings of the Yiga.

A hero hiding in Wolf's clothes My Wolf form reveal to the Ordon family fic! Colin is so sweet that it has stumped me on how to move the plot forward for months.

The Many Misadventures of Dad Squad The fic that I expected to be #1 quite honestly, mostly written by the wonderful @skyloftian-nutcase! it's got slightly possesed son/god Dad, tired of everything Dad, and Farmer/Renegade Dad!

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes!! I love love love comments and i'll tell you right you kudos and comments are the only reason i'm going to finish Blush, since they remind me people enjoy my thoughts and efforts!

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably the Dad Squads chapter where Rusl passes out thinking that his son is in chains or muzzled while feeling like a burden to the other Dads. Could also be a 3 sentence fic lol.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Sky's encounter with kitten kind which is so fluffy it has Comfort/No hurt as a tag

8. Do you get hate on fics?

no, I have gotten weird comments, but they are just people who are really excited about things.

9. Do you write smut?

Nope! and i'm not planning to start

10. Do you write crossovers?

Yep! usually Dp x Dc since those are the writing prompts I see cross my Dash.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

also no, though i would explode with happiness if that ever happened.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yep! the Dad Squad series is a fun mashing pot of different amazing Writers (Lofty definitely does the most writing for it because she's an amazing writer with brilliant ideas)

14. What’s you’re all-time favorite ship?

this year has been Rusl and Uli all the way, but a romance that i adore would have to be Galen and Rose from Princess of the midnight ball.

15. What’s the wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

A funky 1000 words of pure emotional hurt I wrote at 3 am on a bad night.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Emotions i think. I love writing the way your stomach swoops from a drop or your throat goes tight and hot and heavy with shame :)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

everything else.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I think it would be really cool! I am not confident in my ability to do it at all though.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Does my Dad's old DnD campaigns count? if not either Harry Potter or DP (luckily those fics will never see the light of day cause oof they made no sense)

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

I love Blush of Dawn but don't want to annoy people with my ideas when i could be ... finishing the fic so they can read them in a more engaging form with clearer flow.

no pressure tags @unexpectedstormy @hermitdrabbles56 @telemna-hyelle @gemglyph and anyone else who wants to!

20 questions for fic writers

Tagged by @the-real-azalea-scroggs! Had to wait until I was of my phone because doing these is a nightmare on mobile lmao

1. How many works do you have on A03?

18 as of a few days ago!

2. What's your total A03 word count?

60,763! Which is. Only a fraction of the word count in my Docs folder. Be prepared.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I mainly write for The Legend of Zelda; specifically Linked Universe! In fact, that's all that's posted on my Ao3 currently, since my fall into that fandom began with me uploading there! Pre-Ao3 I wrote for Black Cat (Anime/Manga), Megaman NT Warrior, various Pokémon things, Assassin's Creed, Yugioh, Final Fantasy XIV and Octopath Traveler! Some of these I still write privately, but I haven't gotten around to re-posting any.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Whistling on Deaf Ears - My longest fic on Ao3, focusing on Wild and Twilight's friendship and how good intentions can lead to disaster.

Iconoclasm - Warriors deals with the room full of portraits in Cia's palace. The Chain also deals with it, but with a bit more fire.

Deserving - Twilight finally tells Rusl that he was the wolf in the village during TP, but that also means dealing with some heavier topics. Colin half overhears them and forms his own conclusions.

Something Greater - The start of the "Hyrule can see magical auras" series! In this one we deal with Legend and his many rings.

Ocean Magic - Mermaid Legend and Zora Time have a race and then fight one of the Big Octos from WW! Fun times.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Every single one!! I love comments, they give me an excuse to ramble about my fic more!! I am always down to ramble about every single insignificant detail of any line and/or section. If you ever want more background info about one of my fics, look to the comments! So please, I adore comments, I treat them like treasures, not responding to them would be a CRIME.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

There's no contest; Inevitable, my (so far) only MCD fic.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hmmm, that's hard to quantify. I usually try to end fics on a hopeful note regardless. I'd say possibly either Deserving, where Twilight reconnects with his family, or Shimmering Blue, Striking White, where Time meets the Fierce Deity settled down on Satori Mountain and they both get closure.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Thankfully, no! I've been blessed with mostly amazing and patient readers, even when my upload schedule isn't the best.

9. Do you write smut?

No, not really. I've attempted it, but I'm too asexual for it lol

10. Do you write crossovers?

Very, very rarely. Mostly privately, and only very specific ones. Only a single one has had an actual plot, so far (more on that one in question 15!).

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Also a nope! I tend to write for smaller fandoms, where these things don't tend to happen a lot!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have! But it's been a while. Over a decade, in fact! I tried to find the fic to link it here, but it was on the German fanfic website fanfiktion.de, and my friend who posted it back then must have deactivated her account, because it's nowhere to be seen (I still have the Word file though!). It was a Multi-Crossover that started as an RP in a forum, and we took turns turning the RP into prose one chapter each. "If a Hero Turns to Dark" was its title. We were edgy teenagers.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Hissssss. Bad question. Shoo. They are all equally important!! But it's probably TenRose from Doctor Who.

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

One of the very few crossovers I've ever worked on; a crossover fic between Assassin's Creed and Doctor Who, that I have mapped out in both chronological and timeline order, and yes, those are different. I only ever wrote about a quarter of it, since my primary audience of it disappeared when we graduated. I doubt I'll ever pick it back up properly, and if I do it'll probably go through heavy rewrites first since it's so old. Finishing it is a nice thought, but realistically, after 9 years it'll never be high priority enough for it to actually happen.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue, especially arguments, and emotional impact. I've been told I do really well making characters feel alive and believable! Also I like to believe I'm decent at setting a scene and giving it the vibe I want it to have!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I struggle with dialogue tags when nothing much is happening besides the talking. I always feel it's too bland, and fall back on the same phrases. My scene transitions could use some work too.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I've done this with Japanese phrases, because I was a massive weeb. Usually I followed them up with their own translations, though; I'm not the biggest fan of footnote translations, unless they are properly linked to. Simple dialogue tags are my favourite way of indicating a language switch.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Black Cat the Manga/Anime! It's a series about an assassin turned bounty hunter trying to live a life separate from his murdery past, but getting dragged back into things by still wanting to avenge his best friend's death. The series has a special place in my heart and my bookshelf, it left an imprint on 13-year-old me that will never leave.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Probably Jailbreak, uncharacteristically enough! It's one of the only fics I never got stuck in once. Writing it was a great feeling from start to finish. I love writing all of my fics, but that was a special few days.

Tagging @ahrva @nowhere-to-go-but-down @silvercaptain24 and @aeghina! And anyone who wants to do it, really, go wild

[ghost-of-bambi]

Questions

Thank you @myladyely for tagging me! 

Rules: answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people.

I’m going to be real, some of these questions make no sense but I had fun with it anyway. I’m tagging @aryasmeatpies @scullylikesscience @sansapotter @obiwan-katnobi @jilyevotter @sradepotter @witless-wonder @gabrielledelacour and that’s done

1. drink: tea, Coke, the tears of fuckboys

2. phone call: unsure if this is meant to be ‘last phone call’ or ‘person I prefer to call’ but the answer to both is Katie ( @obiwan-katnobi ) because nobody else likes me that much (this is a lie I am V. Popular)

3. text message: as above, the last person I sent a text to was my brother, the person I prefer to text is Katie, usually with Game of Thrones theory spam

4. song you listened to: okay again I assume this is the last song I listened to – Shape by the Sugababes

5. time you cried: I genuinely can’t remember, it must be a few weeks since I last cried, but when I do cry it’s for really dark and meaningful reasons, like a really touching IKEA advert, or I’ve remembered a sad scene from a TV show from years ago - actually no, I remember, I cried during Wonder Woman

6. dated someone twice: nope, unless this refers to going on a date with someone and then going on a second date, which I’m pretty sure I have done, otherwise how the hell have I made it four-and-a-half years with my boyfriend?

7. kissed someone and regretted it: forget kissing, I’ve banged someone and regretted it DURING

8. been cheated on: not to my knowledge but who the fuck knows?

9. lost someone special: Catelyn Stark S03E09. Also beloved family members.

10. been depressed: yer

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: yes, but sometimes a spicy dinner makes me throw up so we can never really know what to attribute that to

favourite colors

12. blue

13. pink

14. yellow

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends: I met Isaac Hempstead Wright at a gallery opening and he took a selfie with me so we’re basically best friends now

16. fallen out of love: I became pretty disillusioned after Cursed Child if you think that counts

17. laughed until you cried: basically every time I think about Twilight

18. found out someone was talking about you: I like to assume that I’m always being talked about by adoring fans, but also no (I assume this pertains to bitching?)

19. met someone who changed you: I am a big girl and can dress myself

20. found out who your friends are: yeah I went on a friend-finding treasure hunt and found all their names in a basket once I’d cracked all the clues

21. kissed someone on your facebook list: yeah, my partner

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them, as no part of me is fictional

23. do you have any pets: not since my cats passed away, they were irreplaceable 24. do you want to change your name: no, my name is fine, and even if I wanted to, the cost and trouble involved is ludicrous

25. what did you do for your last birthday: I did an escape room with friends and saw Jack Whitehall live, I also aged up

26. what time did you wake up: 5 am, because I’d had a dream that my stepson grew to a height of 20 feet and his father blamed me

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: having the aforementioned dream, probably

28. name something you can’t wait for: Game of Thrones season 7, Trump’s impeachment, post-Brexit apocalypse, Chapter 16 of Playing the Hero by @fetchalgernon

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: January, because we don’t live in the same country and she can’t Facetime without inevitably blocking the camera with her thumb

31. what are you listening to right now: Howlin’ For You – The Black Keys, as well as the neighbourhood kids screaming outside

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: Tom is my father’s name. So yeah. Occasionally. If I have to.

33. something that is getting on your nerves: Aidan Gillen’s repertoire of accents

34. most visited website: Currently, A03, FFnet, Twitter, Pornhub - one of these is a lie

35. hair colour: red

36. long or short hair: long

37. do you have a crush on someone: Andy Samberg, but he’s playing so damn hard to get

38. what do you like about yourself: hair, brain, hair again

39. piercings: one on each ear, but I also have a piercing stare

40. blood type: red

41. nickname: I don’t really have one that people know me by, but my mother calls me Nelly and my partner calls me sweetie. Dad occasionally calls me Damian/Regan/Carrie because love.

42. relationship status: I’m in one

43. zodiac: Pisces

44. pronouns: she/her

45. favourite tv show: Game of Thrones

46. tattoos: no, what would I even get?

47. right or left handed: right said fred

48. surgery: never

49. piercing: I just answered this question

50. sport: idk if going to the gym counts, but if it does, gym-going, I’m also an expert at my stepkid’s Lego assault course, which he likes to spring on you at unexpected times

51. vacation: what does this mean?? My favourite vacation has been Minnesota, my ideal vacation is Greece.

52. pair of trainers: what? Yes, I own a pair of trainers

more general

53. eating: cherries, wishing it was cake

54. drinking: water, wishing it was a virgin piña colada

55. i’m about to: write

56. waiting for: A STAR TO FALL/AND CARRY YOUR HEART INTO MY ARMS/THAT’S WHERE YOU BELONG/IN MY ARMS BABY YEAH

57. want: more sleep

58. get married: that’s the plan

59. career: currently I’m an IT technician/writer for Fansided

60. hugs or kisses: hugs can be had from anyone, so I guess hugs

61. lips or eyes: I actually have both

62. shorter or taller: shorter or taller than what?

63. older or younger: I’m older than some people and younger than other people

64. nice arms or nice stomach: ????

65. hook up or relationship: who with? Andy Samberg? Has he called? Did he, like, mention me?

66. troublemaker or hesitant: these are ideal job interview questions

67. kissed a stranger: I mean, they weren’t strangers to me, but they probably would be to you

68. drank hard liquor: how hard are we talking? could I take it in a fight?

69. lost glasses/contact lenses: I don’t have either

70. turned someone down: I’m a woman, so yes, I’ve had to turn someone down

71. sex on the first date: yes, with my current partner, he has kind eyes

72. broken someone’s heart: yeah

73. had your heart broken: I’ve had my heart severely pummelled, but broken’s going a bit far

74. been arrested: too much of a goody-two-shoes

75. cried when someone died: yes

76. fallen for a friend: obviously I am madly in love with Katie and am going to rescue her from Target on a white horse and in full Brienne of Tarth armour

do you believe in …

77. yourself: hell yes I do

78. miracles: no

79. love at first sight: I assume that’s what happens when you give birth, otherwise no

80. santa claus: I have a stepson so I AM Santa Claus now

81. kiss on the first date: why not?

82. angels: no, not even the Robbie Williams song

other

83. current best friend’s name: Katie

84. eye colour: I think my eyes are green, but everyone I ask has a different fucking opinion

85. favourite movie: Pride and Prejudice (2005), also The Erotic Misadventures of the Invisible Man (this one isn’t true)

[happyloudmers]

I literally had no idea mages “bind/force” their summons to serve them and thats definatly not what taliith did i dont care what canon says.

The clannfear was a tiny runt her dad found in a misadventure to oblivion which he took pity on and brought back to tamriel/gave to his then small daughter taliith. They both grew together and when taliith was old enough to communicate with it, the clannfear really did show happiness and wanting to stay, so it let/guestured to her to bind it to nirn.

The twilight started following taliith around when she was first in coldharbour. Its a lil shit but not evil and it bargained with taliith she would assist and heal her it taliith bound it to her willingly so it could get out of coldharbour.

Her clannfear is an excitable dino dog that wants to help and her twilight is a lil shit that steals her staffs to make nests out of them, but very much tries to help and heal taliith in fights. It also really likes valaste and helps her so taliith is forgiving to anything thatd nice to her wife, even her staff stealing twilight :)

[ao3feed-tf2ships]

Team Equestria 2

read it on the AO3 at http://archiveofourown.org/works/19278097

by bestpony666

Our lovable mercs from RED Team get new recruits in the form of the Heroes of Equestria! Watch as love and friendship blooms as misadventures and explosions occur as two worlds collide!

Words: 1797, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Team Fortress 2

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Categories: F/M

Characters: Mane Six (My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic), Spike (My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic), Big Macintosh (My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic), Zecora (My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic), Cutie Mark Crusaders (My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic), Ditzy Doo (My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic), Dinky Doo (My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic), Shining Armor (My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic), Princess Cadence, Berryshine | Berry Punch (My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic), Starlight Glimmer (My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic), Flurry Heart (My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic), Scout (Team Fortress 2), Soldier (Team Fortress 2), Pyro (Team Fortress 2), Demoman (Team Fortress 2), Heavy (Team Fortress 2), Engineer (Team Fortress 2), Medic (Team Fortress 2), Sniper (Team Fortress 2), Spy (Team Fortress 2), Saxton Hale, Ms. Pauling, Princess Celestia (My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic), Princess Luna (My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic), Sunburst (My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic), Maud Pie (My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic), Marble Pie (My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic), Limestone Pie, Other Character Tags to Be Added

Relationships: Sniper/Twilight Sparkle, Scout/Rainbow Dash, Soldier/Derpy Hooves, Medic/Fluttershy, RED Spy/Scout's Mother, Rarity/Spike (My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic), Applejack/Engineer, Demoman/Zecora/Berry Punch/Luna, Pyro/Pinkie Pie, Princess Cadance/Shining Armor, Heavy/Maud Pie

Additional Tags: There is no tag for Derpy Hooves, Soldier becomes like a dad to Dinky, Scout becomes a Big Bro to Scootaloo, CMC Spike and Dinky are aged up in the TF2 Universe, More characters to be added, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Explosions, Takes place during/after 'The Crystalling', Flurry Heart becomes Assistant CEO of Mann Co, Saxton Hale likes Ponies, Anthropomorphic Ponies (My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic), Aged-Up Character(s), at least in the TF2 Universe, The Administrator is dead, Greymann still causes trouble, TF2 Mercs will visit Equestria, Problems will be solved much quicker than Canon

read it on the AO3 at http://archiveofourown.org/works/19278097

[whatareyoulikeincapslock]

Forest for the trees

“Did your dad ever want to live in a forest?” I ask? Incredulous at the quality of the tent overcover that were strapping to the roof of both her and mikes cars.

“Yeah, this was the place he wanted to blow his brains out, I told you that.”

Tanessa is talking about her father, and how, when they first started talking again he told her that he had planned to head out to the forest and take his own life.

Opie is manically running around the campsite, unable to focus on one thing at a time. His tail and head must be made of bricks because he hits them on everything and never has any idea that he’s doing it. Tanessa says that one time she slammed his tail in the door and he didn’t even whimper, he just stopped, wondering why he could no longer run. He is a black Labrador and pit bull mix, and appears to have lost intelligence to both sides of his breed, replaced with a beautiful coat and face, and the energy of a hyperactive three year old. Hank plays with him for a while, but prefers to patrol the campsite to make sure that no unwanted visitors trespass, barking at the nearby families as they pass like the terrier he is.

Mike teaches us how to make fire from sticks, and points out where we can find more fire wood. It occurs to us how much harder it would have been to camp in the wilderness without him. Even in this campsite, we are novices. He is the boyfriend I approve of most for Tanessa. Patient and kind and very smart. It gives me hope that I can find someone that is right for me when I see my friends with people who are right for them. A keystone in our relationship was our connection over how fucked up we both were. Our traumas and parents and the messes that we made of our lives. It pleases me to see the people around me growing up and making better choices. It makes me think that maybe someday, I can too.

We walk to find the lake and attempt to balance on logs across the flow of water. I follow Mike down a particularly big log with a large flowing river bed under, and try not to think of how much it would hurt if I were to slip and fall in. The dogs are too scared to follow.

We find tree stumps to climb, and creeks to sit in, while a huge forest surrounds us. It looks like the woods from the twilight films, everything so green and lush, and the air is easier here.

A small group of campers sit on chairs next to their fly fishing equipment, sucking down cigarettes and beer and shouting ‘hello’ at anyone who passes. There are children rolling around on their bicycles and families making fires for dinner. It is idyllic in the way that I imagine the traditional American holiday; a campsite in the woods with the dogs and two and a half kids. White picket fence to come home to, peanut butter jelly sandwiches. Two weeks off a year and dad jokes. I know this is not what I want from my life, but the confirmation that it exists does something for my belief in the world.

As the night falls we drink wine and reminisce over Tanessa and my past at Fitness First.

The nights we would sit on her couch watching “the bachelor” and stuffing our faces with pizza. Almost every Tuesday we would over order and over eat, I would regale tales about my most recent misadventures in romance, and we would dub ourselves singing to Justin Bieber on our phones. We talk about the journey Tanessa has taken over three continents, to end up here in the forest with a fire and a friend and a boy and two dogs, warm and happy, far from where we were.

The fire dies and we head into our tents, and though we all fall asleep quickly, I wake up in the night thinking of Allan, and Will and how lonely I am. I hear a snuffling sound in the distance and freeze from fear, half sleeping for another hour before I’m too terrified and my back is seizing so much that I have to wake Tanessa and Mike up and grab the keys to the truck. I push the seat back and wrap myself in a sleeping bag, dreaming of bears. These huge woodland creatures attacking my tent, my powerlessness, and a respite that doesn’t come until I open my eyes. I’m too sore to walk properly, and I limp around the campsite attempting to straighten out my crooked stance. The bears in my dreams are huge and brown and majestic in a way that is terrifying.

“Are there bears in this forest?” I ask, telling them about my experience in the night with the snuffling sound nearby.

“Yeah, there are. But there’s probably too many people here to worry about it, and even so-“, Mike pulls out his gun, and brandishes it. He is in the military, so always carries a gun and a suture kit, along with a bunch of other things I would have never thought to bring, most of which he leaves with us when he leaves.

“We let Opie out to pee in the night, though. So that’s probably what you heard.” Opie, hearing his name but not knowing where it came from, comes wiggling over to sniff at my hands. I am still terrified of bears, though I can hear that the sniffing sounds are identical to what had me frozen in fear in the night.

We are supposed to hike Mount

Ranier, but I’m so stiff that we drive the whole way around the park, stopping only for a short hike towards unicorn mountain, which Hank is not allowed to accompany us on.

Mike and Opie have headed home and now tanessa and I are on our own, thankful for the small knowledge he’s bestowed upon us, as we continue on. The mountain is heavily trafficked but still beautiful, the glacier looming over the oncoming greenery, the wildflowers covering the fields. Pops of colour amongst the dense foliage.

As we head further north, the weight of my life begins to release its hold on my shoulders. We are leaving the park and continuing on toward Seattle. The summer day outside is blowing warm air into our windows.

I think, nothing really matters. I think, as I watch the tallest trees arching over the road as we pass, that nature moves on, never complaining about its heartache. That we could keep moving and never apologise for ourselves and no one would really care. Our thoughts and our experiences and our rejections, just pales in the forest.

This is where you come to realise it is all just another facet of a superfluous reality. I see a sign that says that “man was not just made for himself”, by Plato, on a park bench. I guess this depends on your definition of God. If we were made for God, we still maintain our significance. But if we were made for nature, for the trees, and we would go back to them when we breathe our last breath and decay, we are but tiny blips in a radar that barely registers our footprints. They simply are washed away down the river, and what we do to each other’s hearts has no consequence if we do not act on it and simply breathe the air that is given to us by the leaves that surround us. The warm hug of a life that has lived itself long before us, and will continue long after we die.

I think about Tanessa’s father blowing his brains out in the woods, and how, even if it’s macarbe, it is an efficient way to take yourself back to the place that you came from. Abandoning your earthly worries and going back to the earth. But a piece is missing here, in the knowledge that you are not important. You are part of the the bigger picture, you are not made for yourself. Ending your life is just another act of self importance, in a world that never cared.

[chillydayzgaming-blog]

From Nobody to Nightmare

We’ve all seen the kind of guy, big ol’ badass that scares the ever living shit out of everyone that dare oppose them. Be they a 7 foot tall black robed cyborg, the leader of a meth cooking criminal empire or even that asshole that works as a telemarketer that refuses to stop calling at 6 AM every Saturday. But do you ever wonder where they came from, who they were before they struck fear into the hearts of the common folk? Well today we’ll be covering that concept, the trope of “From Nobody to Nightmare”.

In this case we have a terrifying entity, be they a person or even an organization, that grew from simple origins. A former slave that was destined to bring order, yet fell due to the harsh realities of badly written drama. New Mexico’s most milquetoast chemistry teacher that catches a case of the cancer who decides that meth is a viable method of financial gain. That snotty kid that flunked out of high school and had to get his good enough diploma so that he could be allowed to make phone calls at inappropriate times. They are all at their hearts a terror that came from humble beginnings. Let’s look at four examples of times when video games gave us the chance to go from Nobody to Nightmare.

(Spoilers for Godfather the Game, Metal Gear Solid V: the Phantom Pain, the Saints Row series and Dragon Age 2)

It’s the 1930’s and you’re just some sweet little Italian kid living in Little Italy with his stereotypically mob connected daddy and your Mediterranean MILF of a Mom. But then some assholes in green blow up the family bakery and shoot the fuck out of your dad. Your dad’s fresh fuck splattered all over the pavement, you’re filled with rage, you’ll never get that cannoli now. Deprived of the delicious and filling foodstuff of your people you stare with daggers of burning hate at the guys in green, but thankfully slightly younger Don Corleone is there to pat you on the back and tells you that you’ll one day kill all green wearing canolli wreckers. Flash forward a decade and you join the snazzy Corleone family as a mere associate. Just some dapper whippersnapper that breaks kneecaps and makes the most gaudy of bitches swoon at the mere thought of touching your pastrami. But with time you eventually take over store after store, stomping out all the rival mob families until only the green backed canolli stompers are left. Getting sweet sweet ricotta filled vengeance you are left as the leader of the city, store owners far and wide fearing the day their kneecaps give out before their cash registers do.

Ripping out the stitches of a nubile young woman’s abdomen with your bare hands and reaching around for a bomb might make you a badass to most people, but this is fucking Metal Gear we’re talking about. Four story tall mechs, cyborg ninjas, clone child soldiers and calorie enriched bars of life sustaining nutrition. These are the things that you have to endure to become a snake, and a snake you become. But you aren’t naked this time around, you’ve got venom inside you, like a popstar that has more beef than a Texan rancher. Starting out as some Kiefer wannabe stitch pulling weirdo that worships legendary mercenary Big Boss, you eventually outdo your horse shooting idol by building the biggest collection of war criminals this side of the Berlin Wall. No manner of criminal scum are beyond your reach: Russians, Afrikaners, actual Africans and even some Asian nerd join in on your misadventures across Afghanistan and Central Africa where you go about kidnapping soldiers and brainwash them in your totally not Orwellian inspired club for big boys. But don’t forget the assemble the most blazing Mixtape of 80’s hits that’ll be so straight fire that the Iranians send a fighter jet to try and take you out. Good thing your ninja infected waifu can defend you. At the end if it all you’re a stone cold barely speaking badass that fully channels his inner Kiefer and tries to face off against some rookie in your twilight years. All in all, you’re pretty good.

Being a Michigander myself I feel a certain joy when our cities are used as a basis for fiction. Thankfully Detroit’s a shithole that’s iconic enough to inspire the early setting of the Saint’s Row games. Starting out as just some schmuck getting stuck in the middle of a street battle you soon join up with a group of gangbangers that are the least racially exclusive in town. Over time you kill off the themed gangs, establish yourself as “the Boss” and get yourself blown up by your former leader in the process. But like some kinda ghetto street legend you rise from the ashes in a coma, waking up to repeat essentially the same shit you did last time, only this time Phil LaMarr voices a cool Voodoo dude and you can turn your gang into Ninjas. Fast forward like… Five years and now you’re hot shit, you’ve got an energy drink and dress up as yourselves to rob banks for fun. But why stop there? Oval office not good enough? Fine, God Emperor it is. Not bad as just some Playa off the streets huh?

Isn’t playing as a war refugee fun? Oh no, not that overly dramatic resource management game that makes you cry. We’re fuckin’ with the Hawke family today. Well, still sad but more badass. Starting off you have three flavours of refugee: roguish scout type, meathead warrior or future apostitute slaying mage. That last one might be pretty badass, but at the start you can’t even save your bitchy little brother/adorably badass sister. Your mom blames you and in order to bring honor to your Avian themed family you gotta become royalty. So OBVIOUSLY you wanna go in some zombie infested dwarven ruins to futz about and find treasure. Enough treasure to warrant monogrammed smoking jackets and pointy statues. Oh, what’s that? Horned religious zealots are burninating the shit out of your hellhole of a city? Better become the champion of the city then! But don’t forget about that civil war of sorts brewing between men who wear robes and men who wear skirts, because you don’t wanna become a member of the fashion police. Oops, fantasy terrorism strikes and you’re forced to either be the face of mage freedom on the run or try and be the leader of a city of skirt wearing religious fanatics. Either way, not bad for starting off a poor as shit immigrant.

[alex-guerin]

The Misadventures of my Poor Punky...

So, I am no good when it comes to death. Especially not when it’s someone I care about. I can’t look at them once they’re gone. I can’t be in the same room as them. I have to be as far away as politely possible. Needless to say, I’m great at wakes, I hold up the back wall of the funeral home to make sure it doesn’t fall in on everyone. Very important job, you know. 

Annnnyway, since my Punky girl passed away on her bed, which happened to be in my room, my parents let her stay there (it was like 4 in the morning, not much else they could do). I was at work, my room was blocked off from screwy Louie, she was fine in here. 

I went out for much needed breakfast with my co-workers yesterday morning, then met up with @kishikeahi for coffee and hugs, before making my way back to town to get my taxes done. Once they were done, I had texted my mom asking if she was still in my room. Mom said she was, but her and dad were getting ready to take her out, she’d let me know when she was taken care of. 

...that apparently is where my poor Punky’s misadventure began. 

Please keep in mind, she was a ten year old Rottweiler. Who weighed roughly 75 lbs when she passed. ...she’d been in my room for a few hours, so, I mean, she literally became a dead weight (I’m so tired right now, please pardon my dark, morbid humor, it’s keeping me semi sane right now). So, it literally took both my parents to lift her up off the floor. And shuffle across my room to the door, and then had to lean her against my TV table while mom opened the door more so they could get out. And my poor baby, she was so long legged, apparently her back legs were just sticking up, and just the way my mom kept describing them, gads, the mental image I got was just hysterical. So, they finally get her out of my room, would make it a few feet and have to lean her against something to rest, or to open a gate, and then the front door, which her poor back legs apparently kept hitting against a few times, and my mom kept apologizing to her for it. Finally got her outside, rested her on my brother’s motorcycle while my dad opened the back of his truck, and then they carefully laid her in the back, made sure she was still all covered up and comfy in her favorite blue blankie, shut the truck and set to work trying to get hold of a guy my mom used to work with at an animal clinic. John was the one who, when the vets had to put an animal down, or one passed on the table, he would handle them so gently and carefully, and take care of them/handle their cremations. So, my mom was trying to get hold of him so that they could take Punky up for me.

...whenever my mom tried calling, he wasn’t there. She left him a voicemail, called the shelter, left a message for him leaving her number and my dad’s, and had to leave for work. Well, no one ever called either of them yesterday. 

Now, when I finally wandered my numb and bone deep exhausted ass home at like 5:30 in the afternoon, I noticed my dad’s truck was backed into the driveway. It’s never backed into the driveway. I instantly knew she was back there and just didn’t look, and when my dad came out of the garage to kind of stand between me and the truck, that definitely confirmed that as of 5:30 in the evening, she was still waiting in the back of his truck. Which, is terrible, cuz my baby HATES car rides! Everything about them! And poor thing had to wait in her Papa’s truck for ages! 

Anyway, I didn’t question anything, no one said anything, so I went to bed and around 10 o’clock this morning I heard my dad leave the house. Didn’t think anything of it. It’s Saturday, he was probably going for coffee. No, apparently he’d gotten a call from John saying what time the shelter would be open to and that there should be someone there, bring her up and she’d be taken care of. Why my dad didn’t just go straight there, I dunno. But he didn’t. And when he got there at noon, found out John had left at 11:30. And no one at the receptionist’s desk was being even remotely helpful. They flatout told him they wouldn’t take her, no he couldn’t just leave her there, and actually asked him if he had an appointment. Like, WTF!? So, yeah, my baby spent the night in the back of her Papa’s truck, and had to go for a dreaded car ride, just to get turned away by assholes at this dumbass shelter. So, my dad (who was already distraught over us losing her, and had apparently been sobbing himself when he came in to help mom with her when she first passed), started freaking out, didn’t know what to do. Here it is, almost 1 pm on a Saturday afternoon, a holiday weekend at that. And his poor grandpuppy is in the back of his black pickup truck. Oh, and did I mention Northern IL has entered the Twilight Zone and it’s been in the mid-60s all weekend and is supposed to continue to be until like Wednesday? Yeah, go figure!

My dad starts texting my mom --- who was at work --- totally freaking out, didn’t know what to do. My mom finally called him and told him to quick hurry up and call the vet office we’d been taking Punky too. They could help figure out what to do with her. Well, the office closed at 1, and my dad missed them. So, now my mom is freaking out because oh God! They can’t keep my poor baby in the back of Papa’s truck all weekend! Can’t keep her there until TUESDAY!!! What are they gonna do?!

Finally, one of the women my mom work’s with mentioned the place their shelter uses/takes their animals to. So, my mom gets back on the phone with my dad, ready to tell him about it, only to find out he’s already on the road to the Emergency Vet Clinic 45minutes away. He’d gotten hold of them, they were open, and yes, they dealt with our vet office, they’d be happy to take care of her for us, just bring her up. So, he took her up there and reassured my mom that she was in good hands cuz the people who came out to get her out of the truck were apparently so gentle with her, and took good care of her as they carried her to the building, annnnnnnnd once again, my baby and her long legs! They had to stop and talked to her, telling her things were okay, they just needed to move her leg cuz they couldn’t get her through the door with her leg sticking out like it was. 

So, when I finally gathered up the courage tonight to text my mom and ask if she’d made it up to TAILS (where I thought she was going/where she originally was supposed to be going. The assholes who turned my dad and her away), my mom came down to talk to me and tell me all this and was like, “Yeeeeeeeah...we didn’t wanna tell you that she had to stay the night in the truck. Especially since, we didn’t like that she had to stay the night in the truck! Not with as much as she hated car rides!”

But, she is in good hands now, and we should be hearing from them in about 7 to 10 days and I’ll have her back in my room again....probably sob all over her ashes, but I’ll have her back in my room where she belongs.

Oh my poor Punkykins. Even in death, life keeps fucking us over, huh? 

[bokettochild]

Hello! My old master-post is lost in the sauce, so here we go again!

I'm Bokettochild, aka Ketto, Mama Lava, and Flaming Idiot (or just Idiot)

I'm a writer/artist for the Linked Universe Fandom with a tendency to post flash fics and never keep up on my requests and/or updates, no matter how hard I try (blame my college and work)

My pronouns are she/her, but I'm okay with they/them if you forget (I'm terrible with keeping track of everyone's pronouns, so I get it)

I do write requests (note the above warning about lateness) and also will draw for you, but retain the right to deny a request if I so choose. I'm not comfortable with most things shippy (I don't understand them much) but outside of romance I'm willing to at least try to write your ideas.

Outside of requests, most of my content is Legend-centric, and I do obsess. I'm sorry if it gets annoying :(

If you are here for fics, check out my Ao3 account or the below! (The below will never be complete but.....)

Fic Masterpost

The Ties that Bind AU

The Blood Between Us - The boys are all related and find out about it in a series of misadventures that leads threateningly closer to Warriors getting more drunk each time (fortunately, his brothers love him enough to help him). Includes Warriors as Wild's dad, some obligatory Time and Twilight, First King Sky, and appearances by Grandpa Wind and the Heroes Shade!

Pepper Me This - An in-between moment where the boys and Malon play a backwards version of Never Have I Ever and Legend has done everything. (CW for terrible accents)

The Face of My Father - (Continuation of TBBU) The boys (plus Ravio and Shade) end up traveling to Termina and discovering some long lost friends of Legend's. There are issues the boys need to work out from the previous stories, and I just keep making them worse. Also, the Fierce Deity is Sky's dad and Time accidentally releases both him and Majora from their masks.

All the Voices in My Head - Another in-between fic where Four and Legend bond about hearing voices and Four discovers new pronouns for themself (Gratuitous Four and Legend fluff)

Hylia's Love - (Continuation of TFOMF) The boys get transported to the time of the First Hero and meet Hylia, Link, and Orville, and have to help them fight Demise's army while also fighting among each other until tragedies start setting them straight and making them address their issues.

Next Part: Zvezda - Warriors' memories of his young son before Zvezda (Wild) was taken away. Will feature all of the other heroes making cameos at least once, if not more times (Four is a minish though, so I can only fit him in so much since Wars can't see him)

Art for this Series

Sablya - AKA the OC I created as Wild's mom because I don't get shipping and couldn't really figure out who to pair Wars with, so the readers had me make this lovely lady. She hasn't made an official appearance in canon other than a name drop, but she's coming soon.

Robin - AKA the name I gave Sky's mom so I could have Dei (The fierce Deity) not just call her "your mother. This is drawn by the amazing telemna-hyelle (Thank you again, Tellie!)

First - Because he's in this story too :) IDK I got bored and drew all the boys, but gave this one EyebagsTM

Sunbeams- Sun, Sky and their three boys. Please ignore how I drew Legend, awkward expressions are awkward

The W Boys - I literally was just messing around and decided to draw Grandpa Wind, Wild, Warriors and Wind all taking a selfie together. It doesn't actually happen in the story, but it's here I guess

All the Voices in My Head Art - Legend and Four resting and chatting after getting shredded by Majora

Hylia and Wild - From Chapter 5 of Hylia's Love. Wild shows Hylia the Sheikah Slate and she's fascinated

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Feathered AU

(created alongside claybrownie7566, who originated the idea, please check out her version too)

Feathered AU Prologue - The official prologue for the Au, as per Brownie herself and written by yours truly. All blood descendants of Hylia have wings, but Legend does not know this. We follow him in a quick overview of his life before LU as he hides himself from the world while also becoming a famous hero.

Wild Misconceptions - Wild notices Legend is different from the other heroes, and with the aid of the Scientific Method determines that Legend must be trans and honestly, it's more reasonable than the truth. (Not a mockery of trans people; please (politely) inform me of anything that may be misconstrued as transphobic, I'm as clueless as Wild)

Flight to My Heart - Legend tries to keep his wings and his (perceived) evil nature a secret from the other heroes, who are all intent on figuring out what's wrong with him and helping in their own ways. (Features Dad Sky, All-Knowing Four, Uncle Twilight, Tired Dad Warriors and best buddies/brothers Legend and Wind)

Let Me Be Your Wings - (Inspired by this beautiful art and this song) Hyrule and the Chain are invited to attend the birthday ball for Princess Zelda Aurora, Legend's grand-niece. While the vet and birthday girl share an airborne dance, Hyrule realizes that Dawn (who has lost her wings) is a bit jealous, and offers to be her wings so they can dance the same way. Hyrule/Dawn (This is about as shippy as I'm willing to get, and only because it was written for a dear friend)

.........

The Fluffy Adventures of A Bunny Merchant

Cider and Cocoa - Legend and Ravio accidentally win each other's affections with hot drinks, both loving the other's recipe more than his own. The story follows Ravio's perspective through A Link Between Worlds, the War of Ages and into LU where he and Legend share with the heroes (platonic: not written as Ravioli)

Scarf - Ravio gives each of the heroes one of his scarves and fails to convince them that's a customer service thing

Bunny Snuggles - Legend is touch-starved and Ravio helps

Stings and Tickles - Ravio does not like bees but runs into them a lot, both while living with Legend and during the war. Legend, meanwhile, loves bees, and actually softens up a LOT around them (he also very ticklish and they take advantage of it)

Of Grammas and Apple Pies - Legend and Wild make pie together after Wars reveals he's never had a good pie in his life. In the meantime, the captain and the other heroes discover that Legend is a horrible grandson and doesn't keep in contact with any of his family other than his sister, so they try and fix it.

Tired Feet and (Usually) Nimble Fingers - After a long day, Legend will sometimes message Ravio's feet. Except on the days when his arthritis kicks in, then Ravio messages his hands.

Coughing Up A Lung - Sheerow worries because one of his boys is sick and the other is missing (also part of Whumptober 2021)

Oops, I Did It Again - Ravio is sick with a deadly fever so Legend locks the other heroes out of his house in the middle of winter and tends to his best friend as best he can (also part of Whumptober 2021)

Say Uncle - Legend reminisces about his uncle to the other heroes and accidentally reveals that it's the anniversary of the man's death (a bit sad, but mostly fluffy)

Dumplings - (Inspired by a memory from visiting my own extended family) Hyrule leads the younger heroes in cooking dinner once Ravio is feeling better from being sick. (References Whumptober 2021 fics)

Art for this Series

Cider and Cocoa by i-am-1142 - Art for the Story by my buddy Mulder (thank you a million times!)

.........

Inspired By Art

A Hero Protects His Own - (Inspired by ryssbelle's amazing Divine Beast Sky comic) A cloaked being curses Sky during a battle, making him incapable of surviving in the light. To save his life, Twilight uses the shadow crystal to turn Sky into a bird after a switch that separates the heroes. The only way to end the curse is with the aid of the Master Sword, or so they believe, but its with Legend at the moment and no one knows where the vet is. The cloaked figure seems intent on catching him for some reason so it becomes a race to see how can get the sword and the vet first. (Deviates from the comic starting in Chapter 8)

.........

Inspired by Textposts

The Floor is Lava - Legend refuses to play 'the floor is lava' with the other heroes and dies as a result (he doesn't stay dead, because I can't do permadeath)

Art for this fic by i-am-1142

#LegendIsADisneyPrincess - Legend has all the qualifications of being a Disney Princess. He has an animal sidekick (or a dozen) wears a skirt, and well- he has magic hair, magic hands, animals talk to him, he's been poisoned, cursed, kidnapped and enslaved and he definitely has missing parents (unfinished)

Art for chapter one of this fic by peachy-scars (thank you again Peaches!)

This masterpost is unfinished, but I'll work on it here and there. Hope you find something that suits you!