#the middle ages sucked though im not saying it didn't

[council-of-beetroot]

Prevs I understand your point but also don't discount the people who managed to live so that you are here today. We're strong.

As for me the important things to know before making a decision is where in the medieval world, and when as it's a 1,000 year period from 500-1500 AD.

[traegorn]

You are older than me by atleast 1 whole me, (I think) so I think you're a good person to ask: at what point in this being an adult thing do I start to actually feel like an adult? Like I know something? Like I am capable of literally anything? Because I've been an adult for almost 10 years and I feel like im still 17 and lost and confused and scared and it really feels like everyone else found the secret knowledge of being an adult and I missed it. Like I'm fantastic in a crisis but otherwise I have no idea what I'm doing and I feel so much about it? I know I'm basically an infant in the grand scheme but I'm also supposed to be more put together by now? I don't know

Let me math that... you think I'm in my fifties?!

I'm 43. Like, I'm middle aged, yeah -- but, like, barely.

To answer your question: The secret to adulthood is NO ONE FUCKING KNOWS WHAT THEY'RE DOING. You parents? They 100% had no clue what they were doing when they raised you. The only people you think know what they're doing? Faking it or deluding themselves.

I mean, not always, but probably.

I will say the one nice thing with time is that you gradually get used to doing stuff. Like, I can book myself doctors appointments and shit -- not because of any maturity, but because I had to... and then I got used to it. I know how to fix certain stuff on my car because I drove shitty cars and it was either learn how or not get to work. I know how to do my taxes because oh fuck I need to do my taxes and no one else will do it for me for free.

There's no blanket thing though. You learn everything individually. New things always suck, you just end up having more shit that you're used to (and therefore more comfortable with) as you get older.

And I also didn't get my shit together until my thirties, so, like, don't stress too much about it.

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

so this here is auggie: semi finalized!!! halliwell's... probably? not going to be his last name but i had no clue what surname to give him so its acting as a stand in aaa

so this is the blorbo. the new bsd oc i have been working on. from the fanfic i am Struggling with. same guy from the Art a while ago. august (i like the month okay) whatever last name i decide on at a later date.

notes!

his ability is called lucy locket! i actually came up with the ability's function first, and then i found that it fit pretty well. basically its a pocket dimension accessed via the users pockets. so far it has infinite storage, but whatever is added or removed at the present moment has to have been able to fit in the pocket originally. so you cant add/remove a large waterbottle from tiny jean pockets, for example. i like to think it only works when august himself pulls something out or puts something in. so. yknow. "not a penny was there in it, only ribbon round it". hehe

hes 25 because as much as a harp on bsd i also suck with ages so i rng-ed a number between 21 and 27 chcbdj

his birthday is june 21st! stole that from james orchard halliwell (see where that came from now) phillipps, bc he was the first to record the nursery rhyme. i also think him being born on the summer solstice in june but being named august is soo funny.

forgot to add it in correctly but his height is 5'8! that's about 173 cm? i think? i rounded it up technically its only like. 172.72?

168??? pounds??? which is apparently like 76kg? look i have no clue how weights work either i just took my own weight looked up the average for an adult and made something up. dont expect it to make sense.

bloodtype is a! i thought it was weird that the blood types were mentioned at all in the character bios but then i remembered the whole stereotype thing so i just picked whatever i thought fit.

he likes goldfish (hence the socks and earrings), rice (its rice), and hats (because they are so neat)! i was thinking about funny sock patterns and then i was looking at the wiki page for catherine maria fischer (the supposed kitty fisher in the nursery rhyme) and one of her paintings had a fishbowl in it. and then i thought about yoimiya because i had been drawing her before and. yknow. he definitely does has a small hat collection, but he'd rather them not be damaged at work. theyre saved for parties and formal gatherings!

dislikes are long explanations, pollen (allergy 😔), and unpleasant textures (like bedsheets that give you the Feeling when you scratch them). he likes it when people get to the point, and im projecting my own sensory issues onto him hxjsj

moving on we have design notes!

so here's our boy.

starting with the shirt, its actually based on one of the shirts i own. it's got the solid torso and the loose sheer sleeves, and i thought that was neat! though for him i think the sleeves would be a bit more opaque, and he's wearing a vest!

as for the tie you can see i noted that it's a bit of a cross between a criss cross tie and like... a sailor tie? i know it says bolo but thats because the word i was looking for was Tie Brooch for the pendant in the middle.

the cargo shorts!!! so obviously to best use his ability august needs something with rather large pockets, but i didn't know how to add those in. initially i wanted to go with some tights or normal slacks and have him wear a hoodie, but it was kind of... eh? so i tried cargo pants but those didn't work either. so then i tried on shorts and i Realized what needed to be done fhdjjws

knee high socks! i asked what how silly we should get with them and eni said knee highs and nobody said ankle with silly patterns so i combined the two! i think the combination is really funny.

the shoes! theyre just sneakers. comfy!

moving on

i dont actually like this doodle but we're gonna have to bear with it augu

the earrings! theyre little fishies! initially i had different earrings planned but i wanted the fish socks to match with something hdhdhdh

hair tie! august has got the rest of his hair tied up with a little bow. i think its cute bfbdbd

and so you can see what i meant, here's the page of concepts i did!

you can see the cargo pants, the hoodie, as well as the old earring design. i was playing around with the sleeves for a while xhdhhs

plus i got silly with one so maybe ill do smth with that at some point idk idk

[gokartkid]

vampire au, ur choice in pairing<3

making it galex!

george is like, a real proper vampire. going to the monthly meetings, signed up to the local blood donation facilities, and a sire family that goes back into the centuries kind of proper vampire. he's young in vampire terms (like, a century) compared to lewis for instance or toto who goes WAY back (he hasn't said specifically but they all think original romanian transylvania. that would explain why he cant get rid of the accent)

alex is new. like, last week new. he was turned accidentally, george thinks, at least from what he told him over a pint. he'd been making out with this guy at a club, very normal (he stresses this) when they went into an alleyway outside (alex says this very normally and calmly, like this is something he does all the time. George is not homophobic, but he is just a bit of a prude still and he also tries to be normal. fails!) and then what was a harmless bit of necking turned into alex getting his blood sucked out of him. in his haze, he does remember hearing the other guy panicking, then being forced to drink something that was gross and delicious all at the same time. then, the next day, he got picked up by the magic part of the police dept. because the guys at the pub didn't really like having a half dead body on the ground outside.

they try and figure out who turned him, but can't work it out beyond alex's grand sire DEFINITELY being red bull affiliated. (the vampires have like. idk. family clan loyalties) but the mercedes lot are who he gets referred to first just because red bull can be a bit. tougher to work with, and Toto's got a finger in every pie. while they're doing this, alex is like dragging george kicking and screaming into the 21st century.

"you're not joking around with me right now." alex is looking at him, eyebrows raised. His glass is raised halfway to his mouth. the condensation from the beer is leaking onto his hand and pooling around his fingers. "what? no why?" george genuinely looks baffled, as if he hasn't just said the most insane sentence alex has ever heard. "you're saying-" alex puts down the glass, his hands on the table. he needs to stress every word, "-you're actually saying that you had a chat with anne boleyn before she had her head cut off and offered to make her a vampire." "well," george looks a bit embarassed now. he starts adjusting his cufflinks, probably to try and look cool and collected and aloof. alex has seen him do it about 50 times every time they've met up now though, so it has lost its original charm. "-i mean, yes, i was there, and i thought she might like a bit of help. it was rather a sticky situation you know, a lot of emotions running high." "and she said no?" he can't imagine george, posh george in the armani sweater, wearing ray bans sunglasses who's practically addicted to having a cuppa of tea in the morning as living in the middle ages. "it wasn't really her thing mate," george shrugs, "bit torn up still about the whole thing if im honest. always thought henry the 8th was naff after that."

alex is flatting with charles also, who is in my mind a cursebreaker sorry @tetrapod7 stealing ur scholarship.... blatant theft, anyway he comes back after Vampire Orientation (this is like a week of being at totos creepy mansion that he does vampire business in and basically being taught how to be normal and signing a bunch of forms declaring himself to the govt) and charles is all, alexander I thought you were dead, like really, dead, and you come back looking fine?! except he takes a closer look and then is like ahh. i was not far off mate, you are looking good but you are definitely dead. and alex is like yeah they had to teach me all the vampire skills. and charles is like well are you good at being a vampire now? and alex is like "um, well, probably going to have to get better really fast but I definitely won't kill people. By the way, do you think its semi-incestuous if you fuck another vampire who you're maybe like, sharing a grand-sire with. i don't really understand if its capital F family that they were going on about, or just like." waves his hands "metaphorical brothers in arms." (at this point he doesn't know who his grand sire is. so theres a conflict. BUT IT IS NOT. INCESTUOUS. but its funny!?)

bonus: the first time they have sex alex like tries to go down on george but he doesnt realise he's hungry (my lore ur teeth are like. retractable. he doesn't realise they come out spiky when ur a bit peckish) and george yelps and is like "teeth! teeth teeth teeth." and alex is like ooh fuck whoops sorry. and they have a snack break

[burn4youx]

𝒟ear 𝒟iary…

Trying out a new, simpler format today! First of the new system of weekly entries too!

On Monday I didn't really do much. Mondays always suck for me (for who do they not suck is the better question) so not much to say there. I shaved for the first time in ages (I've been waxing) since I'm going to start doing laser hair removal next month! I'm so excited for that!

Tuesday was volleyball day and STRAWBERRY ISN'T THERE ANYMORE IM SO SADDDDD. His younger brother (who's on the team) isn't there either so I don't know if he quit or is taking a break...on a happier note I FINALLY figured out a good way to style my hair. I've been doing it and I love how it looks so much!! Thanking Pinterest for inspo fr.

Wednesday was also uneventful. Won't even both writing about it.

Thursday was nothing really at school. At volleyball however we're figuring out what positions we're going to play from now on (it's YMCA volleyball that's why it's taken so long guys I swear I'm not that bad). I think I'd be good as anything back row or middle front! Also serving specialist!

I DIDN'T HAVE SCHOOL FRIDAY WOOHOO!! BUT that meant I had to go with my parents to take my brother to this one autism therapy center he's been going to which is THREE HOURS AWAY. It was lowk cool though and we got the MOST DELICIOUS ice cream EVER after. It was from this one Italian gelato place and it was REALLY expensive but REALLY good I got all three flavors of chocolate that they had! ALSO TSOU DELUXE RELEASED AND I WAS SO FUCKING OBSESSED AND STILL AM!!!

On Saturday I literally bedrotted ALL DAY. My mom made French toast in the morning though and I put a bunch of Nutella and strawberries on it and it tasted like a crepe and it was the BEST because I'm on my period and it was exactly what I wanted. I did some more bedrotting, redid my main blog's theme, and then my mom asked if I wanted to go to the mall. I said yeah so we went and I got two new pants, a sweater, and a new shirt. At night my neighbor came over and she stayed until like midnight and it was really fun because she and my parents were doing shots and were kind of tipsy so we laughed a LOT (I wasn't drinking chat dw).

HOWEVER I literally BARELY slept at night. It's probably because I had like two bottles of iced tea (caffeinated) but whatever. I'm actually exhausted today but at least I'll sleep good tonight.

I actually did absolutely nothing today. Like I didn't leave the house at all. I only left my room to go play volleyball in my backyard for a little. I'm NOT excited at all for Monday because that means the next day is Tuesday and I have a math test I'm gonna fail then ha....

That's my week! Wish me luck for surviving the next one guys.

⤷ week of : 10.14-10.20

[evilminji]

D-Dad shaped Father Figure Lancer? He's concerned for this young man. Young Jason did not seem to have the most stable home life but is trying to make a difference in his community! And while he does hope some day he pursues his obvious passions for The Arts and gets a degree, it is not the sum total of a man's worth. Lancer is proud of him. Sends him his cell number.

Lancer DID teach YEARS of Ecto contaminated youth. He can advise Jason on how to handle some of his sickness, consult Experts for what he does not know. And just?

Imagine. Imagine being an undead superhero. Afflicted by madness. A crime lord. Everything has gone to shit. There is NOTHING left of you of that boy you once were... that goodness and light. Except this rinky dink little site. Basicly no one follows it. Why bother...

But maybe you update it because your drunk. Or a bit too punch drunk. Or it's 1am and you wish things were simple again. Were GOOD and clean and made sense like they used to. Maybe the book you bought just sucks. You update.

Mostly half hearted responses. Not sure what you were expecting. Except? That one teacher, the funny one that swore in book titles, is ALL OVER it. Just a WALL of text. Sent you an email too. Apparently... he.. he NOTICED.

He was worried as hell. Couldn't do much about it but clearly feared the worst. You always liked the guy. He was silly but stern, encouraging. Like B on his better days.

B doesn't have "better days" these days it seems like. At least not around you.

You find yourself answering the email. And the follow up. And the next. The most mundane, civilian, part of the last piece of who you were... somehow become an anchor. You try to do better, be better, because you know he'll be so proud to hear you're thriving. You fight against the festering GREEN that chokes and tears and poisons everything inside you because... because you want to believe you're better then that. Then THIS.

That he's right about you.

You find yourself talking about it. First vaguely, then more and more openly. Because Teach is not so Normal. His town has "Ghosts". It's even legit, he found the papers. It's apparently a thing. You start to wonder... you maybe kinda hope...

You ask.

Because "What If?". What if this has all been bias? Talia even SAID the madness has never lasted this long. Which means... it could very well NOT be Pit Madness. It could just have started around the same time as you came out of the pit. After you came back from being a mindless zombie. If ghosts are a Thing... could this be some sort of "I Died" thing?

Teach asks about your symptoms. Sends back honest to God cutesy high school PSA sheets about how to handle Ecto-Emotional spikes. And disregarding the talk about "growing" and "changing bodies"? It's eerie how close it is. Teach is talking about driving across town to consult some experts. Get their take on it.

Is telling you it's going to be okay.

As though anything has been okay since you crawled your way from the grave. You're terrified to believe. To let yourself hope. You does anyway because... because it's not Superman or Batman or some other larger then life figuring promising impossible to comprehend unthinkable things. It's a bald, pudgy, middle aged English teach with endless determination and the somehow unshakable belief you're worth it.

And yeah, sitting on your ratty couch, staring blankly at your laptop, you find you CAN place your faith in that. You didn't even know you had any faith left to place... yet here we are. And somewhere in a town (that's often where ever it damn well FEELS like being) called Amity there is an old and rickety, ergonomic, literary puns covered car puttering along towards the newly expanded Fenton's Building to talk to an old student.

That conversation will greatly concern and alarm the ENTIRE Family Fenton. (I'm sorry, did you SAY BUBBLING?!?! ECTOPLASM DOES NOT BUBBLE.) And cause a, rather now alarmed, one Mr. Lancer to STRONGLY request young Mr. Todd come visit. Immediately. For medical attention. And extend an offer to stay on the pull out couch Mr. Lancer has in his home office for a while.

You consider the offer. Consider telling anybody before you fuck off...

You Tell Alfred, Kori, and Roy, then hop on a plan. Peace Out Brucie✌

@stealingyourbones @cyrwrites

Short DPXDC Prompts #702

Lancer was very worried when the book recommendation blog he followed nearly religiously stopped making posts. Dead silence. Three years later, Lancer gets an email that they posted again. He almost forgot about them. Finding their email attached to the blog, he shoots them an email asking about their long hiatus. This certainly won’t be the start of a very interesting friendship…

[spikesbimbo]

Say Please

Summary:  Dilf Daddy Spikes rest stop

Paring: Spike Spiegel x Reader

Tags: oral sex, spit kink, age gap, smoke kink, bimbo gf

wc: 2.3k

a/n: for my daddy, my superhero yes i said it was was coming out in a few days, but i did it today bc dilf spike was the only thing on my mind.

-

“Fuck.�� 

You turned and saw him mumbling curses walking through the door. His messy hair, messier now than when he left. Specks of grey flicked in there, wanting to run your fingers though it, so soft you thought.

“You okay?” you asked, eyes bigger as you watched him walk towards the couch, laying one of his guns down on the table.

“No baby, c'mere.'' he said, dragging you into his lap, playing with the hem of your mini skirt barely covering the swell of your ass. His hands resting on it, sneaking his fingers up there, making their way under the strap of your panties.

You were his warmth in the cold vastness of space. Relaxing whenever he was around you, being the only thing he would look forward to coming back to. Not the annoying kids and women he had to deal with daily, their attitudes nothing compared to yours, his sweet angel.

You looked up at him, seeing the stubble grow as he'd been gone for a day and a half, not caring about taking care of himself. Which you took into your own hands, wanting to treat him the way he deserved. Him being the only reason you were alive.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

After saving you, you instantly fell for him, shyly flirting with him, until one night the tension got too high and yall fucked.

Waking up in the morning seeing he didn't care, you just went on about your day until it turned night again as he knocked on your door. Remembering him saying “you sure” before placing his lips on yours, immediately picking you up and taking you to his room, almost tripping over the dog how fast he was walking. God damn he hated that dog.

And after this it happened a few more times. Then one day you confessed your love for him after drinking too much, you crying as he watched the scene unfold before leaving the ship. Leaving you to cry even more, worried that he was going to get rid of you like they did, worried that he left his gun.

He left his gun, yes. He was so shocked he just left, face unfazed but his mind was racing. Did you say that because you were drunk? Because he's the only man you've ever been with, the only man that hasn't treated you like shit.

He came back to you lying on the couch, eyes red and closed asleep with the dog cuddled in your arms. Curled up like a baby, knowing you were cold, so he went and got a blanket. Laying it on you while sitting next to you, looking intensely at your pretty face wondering if what you said was true.

You, a pretty young thing with a life ahead of her, with him? An old man that was a bounty hunter for a living?

You stumbled in your sleep, feeling right next to you, being a light sleeper after what happened to you. Opening your swollen eyes faintly seeing his hand resting on you. Quickly trying to get up stumbling, the effects of the alcohol not wavering yet, but luckily he was there to catch you. Your hands started shaking along with your eyes starting to water again. “M-sor-” 

He pulled you in, his lips touching yours, placing his big warm hand on the back of your head. Holding it gently as he pulled you closer to him. Wrapping his other arm around your waist, pulling you into his lap. 

You confirming that you actually had feelings for him while he pulled you into his arms, kissing you on the top of your head while mumbling out how he was sorry for just leaving like that. 

“Im not going anywhere doll.”

------------------------------------------------------------------

“God damn, I got a headache” He said, pulling the cigarettes out of his pocket, wanting the stress to be gone completely as he adjusted you in his lap so he could do so. Wrapping his arm tight around your waist, fingers gripping onto that tiny shirt you were wearing, exposing your cleavage right in his face. 

Your eyes still so innocent as he kissed you again, lightly but passionately as he turned you to face him completely. Chest to chest while he lit the cigarette between his fingers, using you as a shield from the air flowing.

“Spike...”  you said just loud enough for him to hear, dragging your fingers down his chest looking down as you waited for his response.

“Hmm?” he said, placing his hands on your hips, resting the cigarette between his index and finger. Blowing out the smoke as he moved his head down under to look up at your hidden face.

Your body grew with heat as you could feel his bulge under your panties, internally thinking that maybe you should've worn pants, but you didn't have any. All you had were the skirts he bought you.

“Hmm baby?” he said again, his hand free of the cigarette moving up to your throat, gently grabbing the base of it to force you to look at him. “You wanna take care of me? Like you always do?”

You nodded, body itching to move as your white cotton panties grew clearer with each touch. Yes you babied him, but he took care of you. You couldn't do anything on your own, not knowing how to read, write, even cook. 

But you were trying; studying while he was gone with the books he ‘borrowed’, and making dinner every night. At least trying, the only thing you were good at was cheese bread, but luckily he would eat anything.

“What a sweetheart, such a good girl.” he cooed, taking a puff from the snout. Dick growing harder by the second as he thought about the last time you ‘helped’ him out. He took his lips off blowing the smoke in your face, just how he knew you liked it. “Not like these other bitches, no ... I got me an angel.”

You got off his lap, he fingers slowly being dragged away as you tried to hold back your smile. You loved making him feel good, it being the only thing you were truly good at, but you had no shame. Some people were gifted in different things, yours was making your man feel good.

“Woah baby, can't see everywhere at once.”  he teased, watching you strip for him. Taking off that top exposing your bare chest, pulling down your soaked panties clinging to your thighs. Eyes looking all over your figure as you were only in that oh so tiny skirt now, being pushed up to just cover your aching cunt, so embarrassing.

You got on your knees, already palming his crotch, head resting on his thigh as you waited for him to tell you if it was okay. Mouth already watering at the thought of gagging on him, the thought of him fucking your face, then maybe you.

“off.” you whined as he stroked your head, hand under your chin; looking at you intensely, eyes not leaving you once as you pulled his pants down freeing his erection. 

It slapping him against his stomach, hard as could be, so neglected. But it's okay, you were here to relax him, ease him, make him feel the best he ever has.

“Open up” he said, tensing his jaw. His fingers spreading your lips letting themselves in before  he let his spit fall into yours. A string of droll connecting you two. Pulling back and watching his mix with yours on your tongue, letting it drool in your mouth, before he leaned back, giving the okay.

You turned your attention to his cock, so hard and pretty. The vein on the underside begging to be touched, the tip so fat that you couldn't take it anymore. 

You let your tongue hang out, your spit dripping onto the head before connecting your lips to it. Kissing all over it, sucking it like a lollipop while moving your hands to play with his balls, wanting to get him real worked up.

“So pretty.” you mumbled out, kissing on its side before taking it in your mouth, its fat heavy weight resting on your tongue. His downturned eyes looking at you take him whole, groaning at the feeling of the warmth surrounding his cock. Moving himself up to see you better, wanting to imprint this pretty picture in his memory.

His sweet baby with his balls at her chin, eyes watering in pleasure, so precious. His shoulders still tense as he wrapped his hand around your head once again.

“You mind doll?” he asked as if you could respond. You did your best to shake your head with his fat cock stretching your mouth out, wanting him to use you, loving it. 

Loving when he tied you up and fucked you like some street whore, loving it when he woke you up in the middle of the night to ride him because his dick was hard. You loved it, loved being his toy.

His hand encompassing your whole head within it started pushing your head back and forth, starting slowly even though you could take it. At first you couldn't even fit it in your mouth, choking on it after the tip was in, but after a lot of practice and praise you were an expert at this, even deeper throating him with no prep.

“Fuck, baby… you’re mouth is so good. Such a little hole for me to use” he said, gripping the back of your neck, using it to control your movements, bobbing your head faster while you whimpered at the feeling of his tip in the back of your throat.

“You like that? You like me telling you how well you take my cock in that cute little mouth of yours, huh?”

His words made you whimper again, his cock throbbing at the vibrations. Your eyes gleaming up at him, looking at him pleadingly. The salty taste of pre-cum and the ache of your jaw was addicting, too addicting.

He saw the fat tears getting ready to fall onto your eyelashes and felt an emptiness of heat fuse in his stomach. His angel was so perfect, so good and submissive for him. He felt his balls start to swell as his body tensed up to orgasm, ready to blow.

“I’m gonna cum, doll. Im close… fuck. You feel so tight. You gonna swallow it all, sweetheart or you want me to pull out? You gave him the look you always did, just wanting his cum, not caring how you got it. Him immediately understanding. “You gonna be my good girl?”

His cock so hot now that was taking up all the room in your mouth and was starting to twitch and throb. You used your tongue, licking against the underside vein and closed your lips of the way back, pulling in your cheeks like he taught you

“Ah… fuck. I’m cumming, fuck baby. Fuck”

You felt the hot cum reach the back of your throat choking on it, some of the cum spilling out the sides with his cock still on your mouth  as he pulled out and let the remaining cum be painted on your face. “Bang.”  he muttered under his breath.

You kept everything in your mouth, holding back the urge to cough, wanting to show it to him proudly. Your cheeks puffy as he came down from his high admiring your appliance, eyes meeting yours, as he took your jaw in between his fingers opening your mouth to see for himself. Knowing you loved his approval.

“Such a good girl… letting me cum all over you, wherever I want. What a pretty girl.”

He squished your cheeks, making some of it fall out to your protest. Kissing you for being so irresistible, his thumb tracing your lips after, his saliva and cum staining them prettily.

“Swallow angel.”

He peeked down after you moaned, seeing your thighs reflecting off the lamp so soaked and messy, leaving a wet spot underneath you. Your legs shaking as his cock grew harder again at the sight.

“I got you, baby. I’m gonna you feel good, gonna make it all feel better. ”

[spideycurls]

SCHOOL SHAMBLES ! PETER P

requested via anon: peter parker accidentally rests his hand on your thigh at a school dance and doesn’t realize but it turns reader on and he still doesn’t realize but reader is kinda loving it and then SMUT AT SCHOOL and peter is so like innocent and confused but then he gets into it AH

warnings: uh smut but duh. idk language but also duh. also, in turn of me not responding to the request earlier, im turning this into a oneshot. i'll be doing this with a jake g request i got as well bc i feel really bad for not responding to these earlier.

word count: 1k+ i think

paring: peter parker x reader PETER IS AGED UP IN THIS! 18+ PETER!

god, how you even ended up here, you didn't know. it all started when peter decided it would be fun to basically feel up your thigh with his hand. the act was supposed to be innocent enough but it's not your fault that thigh grabbing is a huge fucking turn-on.

poor peter had no clue what he was doing to you. you were both sitting on the seats (bleachers ig) near the food table, watching your friends have the time of their lives. brad (cause he ain't a dick in this) and mj were dancing like a bunch of lunatics while ned and betty were just standing next to eachother, giggling and whispering into eachothers ears.

neither you, nor peter, were very big on dancing so you both opted on watching while have a conversation amongst yourselves. however, that conversation was long forgotten when you heard peter take in a sharp intake of air.

"what?"

"are you, uh, a-are you w-wet?" he whispered out the last word like it was forbidden to ever say it. you simply stared at him shocked,

"h-how--?"

"enhanced senses, n/n."

you glanced down at your shoes shyly, a blush coating your cheeks, and murmured, "well, y-yeah, i guess"

"w-why." the way peter said it got you abnormally nervous. he made it sound like a bad thing but the way he was gripping your thigh slightly tighter contradicted his words.

"uhm, that for starters." you gestured down to his hand that had slipped under the hem of your dress and was subconsciously inching closer to the lace of your panties.

"oh, is it okay that im doing t-this?" his thumb rubbed a small circle your inner thighs, less than an inch away from where you needed him most. you let out a small whimper when his index finger ghosted over your panties,

"yeah, be-better than okay." and with that, peter moved your panties to the side, his index finger rubbing soft circles over your clit.

a sly smirk took its place on peters lips when he heard the whine that left yours. he increased the pressure on your clit, his thumb moving so he could tease your pussy. you were thanking your mother for the dress that she had chosen for you. it comfortably covered up to your knees but had a slit going up your right leg (thank god for that slit).

peter ducked his head down to subtly nip at your neck, his breathing slowly picking up as well. you huffed when he retracted his hand teasingly,

"nope, nah, we're not having this." you grabbed other hand, forcing the one in your dress to slip out, and pulled peter up with you. you guided him out of the gym and down the empty hallway, the soft patter of your footsteps being the only thing that could be heard.

"where're we going." peter asked when you guided him up the stares and took a sharp turn into the drama storage room.

"somewhere where we won't have a bunch of sweaty teenagers ruining our fun."

peters eyes looked like they were about to fall out of his head, funny considering he had just had his hand up your dress in a gym full of people. you locked the door behind you both and cornered peter up against the door.

the storage room was dimly lit, seeing as theres only one light in the middle of the room that looked as if it needed to be replaced soon. the whimper peter let out when you gently squeezed him through his nice jeans was almost porn quality (but better because it was peter and he's, well, peter). it's funny how quickly you can make him drop the cocky act when all you have to do is give him the slightest touch.

peters hands flew to your waist when you leant in to nip and suck at his neck, pulling every noise possible out of him.

"j-jeez, babe. you're so-- fuck!" he was cut off the you dipped you hand under his jeans and boxers and swiped your thumb over the head of his cock. a smirk fell on your lips when peters head fell back against the door and he thrusted his hips into your hand.

"please, babe. please, i-i need you."

"how do you need me pete?" you asked softly and you watched as he shivered from the feeling of your warm breath on his neck.

"your pussy. need your pussy. please."

"okay, baby. whatever you need."

peter was quick to curl his hand around your back and pull down the zipper of your dress. you swiftly unbuckled his belt and pulled his jeans and boxers. his cock was harder than ever at the sight of you in your nice, purple lace. your bra was nothing too special, a simple white cotton sports bra but to peter you were the stars that lit up his night sky.

his mouth dropped open when you slowly, in a teasing manner, pulled down your panties, leaving your wet cunt out for him to see perfectly. you looked around the room in search for a surface to fuck of (because even though he has his super strength, you don't want to risk an accidental drop and a broken hip). your eyes landed on a small table that held dozens of craft supplies and with quickly skipped over to it and in a swipe, everything was on the floor.

"y/n!"

"well, do you wanna fuck me or not?" you asked, hopping onto the table, pulling peter in by the collar of his shirt. he dug through the inside pocket of his jacket and pulled out a condom, making you raise a brow.

"did you seriously bring that with you?"

peter smiled sheepishly, "i, uh, figured we were gonna so something either way when we got back to your place."

you were so busy laughing at the blush on your boyfriends cheeks that you didn't notice he had already slip on the condom, nudging you legs apart with his knee.

"you ready?"

"mhm." you were gripping his jacket tightly, face buried in his shoulder trying to muffle your noises as he slowly started to fuck into you after giving you time to adjust.

peter started to pick up the pace drawing beautiful whines and whimpers out of your mouth. peters hand slipped down from your waist to rub at your clit, adding to the amazing feeling of him fucking into you at a relentless pace.

"f-fuck, pete. you're so good. so good." a delicious moan left peters mouth at the praise

hmm, might have to explore that later.

"m' getting close, babe." he whimpered and you nodded, cupping his cheeks and smashing your mouths together in an utterly filthy kiss.

his pace picked up (faster than you thought possible) and you let out a filthy moan in peters mouth as your orgasm crashed into you unannounced. at the feeling of you clenching around him impossibly tight, peter threw his head back and gave you a few more sloppy thrusts before cumming in the condom.

your heavy breaths filled the air as you tried to catch your breath. peter rubbed at your hips soothingly as he gave you a couple soft kisses to your forehead.

"fuck, i love you."

"mm, i love you too." you whispered back, still trying to catch your breath. after a few moments of silence, peters breathy chuckle filled the air.

"now we have to figure out how to get rid of this without being caught." he motioned down to his cock and you had to blink a couple times to be able to see the condom.

"hmm? oh yeah, that's cool." you whispered and peter stocked your hair softly before pulling out of you, looking around for a bin.

"shit, n/n? wheres the closest bin?"

"uhm, near the gym i think."

"shit."

[elytrafemme]

good evening my beloved mare :D today i bring you your daily Horse Picture... lore for this one is this pony's name is kally. and i love her :3 (...and i most definitely didn't choose my name when i was coming up with it at the ripe age of 12 or something after her ahah whattt... noooo... what kind of idiot would do that ahahh)

WHAT IS UP WITH YOU TODAY THOUGH :D!! are you able to say anymore about your article writing :O??

HI CALLI!!!

oh my god kally the horse the absolute adored. honestly i love the fact that you drew inspiration from her name to name yourself that's SO CUTE. i absolutely love her thank you so much for the horse pictures u have made me like 100x more fond of horses than i was before

NOTHING TOO BIG! struggling to figure out how to count writing in my paid hours when i keep getting fucking distracted by going on tumblr and also neglecting my hw but ! it's ok we win these :D

"are you able to say anymore" call it's more like you don't WANT me to say anymore 😭im not joking there r a few things i can talk about forever and one of them is my student advocacy work (even though it could technically identify me so i have to be careful with it)

i work in a student advocacy organization! and by work i mean that the first two years it was ENTIRELY volunteer, and now it's mostly volunteer still but i get compensated! or, that is to say, i should get compensated. i am extremely extremely bad at remembering to do invoices but thank god the budget student director and the adult ally who also handles that stuff might open up office hours for it

but basically i've worked on our editorial board for a while and this year became a co-editor in chief (along with two other editors in chief!) my specific role is to do external outreach and collaboration-- i am supposed to be responsible for getting pieces cross posted, handling the backends of workshops and fellowships, etc. i kind of suck at my job rn but i'm TRYINNNG (if ur wondering one of the other editors in chief does the general work and is like our point person and the other handles the logistics!)

the piece i'm working on right now is among many in my drafts and it's about how the school system, especially in surveys and standardized testing, incorporate middle eastern and north african into the "white" ethnicity category and also the general problems and transphobia that come with questions about legal sex and gender on these same demographics! as u all know probably i'm Iraqi and also non-binary and though Middle Eastern individuals could be considered an overrepresented minority (North African people absolutely are not and face SO much discrimination and systematic racism in school systems so them being included as white is fucking perplexing to me) there's still a lot of inequities faced ESPECIALLY since i'm extremely non-white passing and i've never been mistaken as white though i HAVE been mistaken as being part of other ethnic groups aside from Middle Eastern (by this usually i mean Latine but i've heard some other strange things over the years. and also learned that not a lot of people know what iraq is. L.)

it's kind of an endless problem and i know how the backend of creating surveys (for another part of the team) and whatnot works and exactly what they're (hopefully) TRYING to get at in terms of equity but it definitely falls flat and it's an issue that i take nationally not just within the state. i think current plan is cross post this and see if i can reach out somewhere nationally to get it posted along with on our organization's editorial board

(didn't touch on the whole gender part because i can but it's a very long tangent so i don't know if anyone else aside from me would want to hear it DFJHDJFH also i hope i phrased all this correctly! i can obviously only speak from my experience as a middle eastern nonbinary (cis-passing) individual.

also when i say i am mistaken for other ethnicities that does NOT mean that i experience the same discrimination as them at ALL. i only note this in this context because it's an indicator of why i take issue in questions that are possibly meant to challenge systematic inequities including me in an ethnic group that i have 0 relation to when i'm hardly even mistaken as them)

anyway i lost track of what i was saying but YEAH. this article is gonna take so much fucking research but honestly i've gotten a lot written already so i'm excited! also trying the APA format on it and i kind of dig it

my student advocacy work is a Big big deal to me and i ramble about it lots so if you ever want to chat with me about it i can (GIVEN i can't hit on many aspects of it! if you ask me about legislature one i only really have what's centric to my state rn which i'm not exposing on main here any more than i already have and also i tried to work on the legislative side for about a week and it didn't end well)

[ please don't RB this ask just because paranoid about advocacy section HAHA love u all and ty for the ask calli :DDD ]

[after-lauhgter]

Hey dude, I really like your music taste so do all the music questions that you didn't already answer 🌚

OK DUDE HERE THEY COME (except 1,6 & 14) ... ok lets do number 1 again  What's a song you've been listening to a lot lately? as the world caves in by Matt Maltese, if I get high by nothing but thieves, and literally anything off waterparks’ new live album, that thing makes me feel so ALIVE bc like LIVE MUSIC  Is there an album you recently discovered and are obsessed with it now? well waterparks live in the uk obviously but if the last 6 months count as recently, then the new abnormal by the strokes. its... absolutely breathtaking. I don't have words. 0 words. except these dudes know what the fuck they’re doing. and then I found the devil and god are raging inside me by brand new and jeeesus. literally Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ was my most played song in 2020 AS IT SHOULD BE bc its EVERYTHING this album is THE SHIT. every song is just *chef kiss* like there's limousine (omg limousine) and you won't know and not the sun and AHH listen to these albums omg  Put your playlist on shuffle and show the first 10 songs. No cheating. i assume “your playlist” means all my saved songs so Topography by Civilian (pls go listen its SO great) Na Na Na by mcr yees issa classic  Du schreibst Geschichte by Madsen omg geeerman  just saying by EDEN (pretty pretty pretty) Westerland von den Ärzten another classic  letdown by nothing,nowhere. sad but the good kind of sad  The Man by the killers making fun of toxic masculinity gives me LIFE  Graffiti by CHVRCHES YES  and death stranding by CHVRCHES too YES SO GOOD simmer by Hayley Williams, a queen  How do you tend to discover new music? If you do at all of course I do enjoy what Spotify suggests, like my weekly mix brought a lot of bops in the past, although sometimes it just sucks lets be real. I also like the artist- or album-radio, when I wanna find something similar to an album but not the album.  and another thing I lovvve is when artists I like recommend music, for example, have you seen dallon weekes instagram stories? THE TASTE? bc yes, someone who writes music like that MUST have a superior taste in music and he fucking does. 

What app do you mostly use to listen to music? Spotify :) Is there an artist that you feel ashamed of listening too? I can't think of anyone so probably not  What is your favorite album cover art? omg. I have to go with more than one. so there's where the mind wants to go/where you let it go by I the mighty, one of my favorite albums of all time, and I'm going to say it how it is, I LIKE THE COLORS. the blue-ish imagine with the red omg. look at it pls.  Also fandom by waterparks looks SO COOL. again the COLORS  and I love the art for Isola by Kent.  I recently discovered you wouldn't believe what privilege costs by civilian and I think that cover is pretty cool too.  well and then there's petals for armor by Hayley Williams, the cover art is so fucking powerful Jesus I get goosebumps just thinking about it. in case you don't know about it, long story short: there's been a lot of shit going on in Hayleys life in the past. relatable imo. then they made after laughter and its been like u know what fuck it we’ll just laugh and dance through the pain. together. and I LOVED the vibe omg it gave me so much. but for Hayley it kinda postponed REALLY dealing with shit. she came home from touring with AL and she also got divorced during the AL era and everything's shit and out of all that came petals for armor. and in it she reclaims femininity, being alone, being powerful, being a women, everything. and ah yeah we were talking about the cover art, the cover is her, having a line of squares on her face, three of these squares are tattooed on her fingers though bc its where her ex husbands initials used to be that she got covered up. WHAT A MOVE. THE POWER.  (if anyone is interested in hearing Hayley talking about/explaining all this, I really recommend watching her interview with zane Lowe. its SO GOOD basically free therapy) How much did your parents influence your music taste? a. lot. my dad listened to a lot of “dad rock” you may call it, I guess a lot of dads listened to stuff similar to this. Deep Purple, the police, simple minds, Green Day, Billy Talent, the scorpions and things like that. what influenced me the most tho was the beatsteaks (german band, very good), die Ärzte (german band, very good) and LAST BUT NOT LEAST the fricking blues brothers. my favorite movie (not the 2000 remake, go watch that in hell where it belongs), a great, charismatic band, unbelievable live performances. very big WOW from me.  Do you own any vinyl? don't get me started omg. I DO. I wish I could take a photo but my records are at my parents house so ill just name my favorites.  -after laughter and brand new eyes by paramore -violent things by the brobecks and their song boring on 7inch (this is very rare ok) -razzzzmatazzz by idkhow in gold :) -may death never stop you by mcr (my first one, I bought it first and then bought a record player for it, that's how it started lol) -omg the black parade is dead by mcr, this was never available on vinyl until record store day 2019 (?) and I hunted that bitch like idek what it was insane but I found a super cute small record store and the owner didn't have copies of it bc NOBODY DID but he fucking CALLED THE LABEL even though it was way too late and he asked if they'd send him a copy and THEY DID I FUCKING OWE THIS MAN  -and omg Isola by Kent (in Swedish tho bc the English version was never pressed on vinyl) this was intense. I searched for like 2 weeks and then, on google results page 8 or something, I found what could've been the only copy on the damn internet and it was very expensive but its MINE NOW -my signed vertigo vinyl by EDEN, its clear and on side D it doesn't have music but a little message engraved it the vinyl IT IS CUTe -Placebos MTV unplugged! I am so I love with this album. SO. in love. and one day, when I was in Berlin to see palaye royale, back when we had concerts, I walked by a random record store and they have like 4 records left bc they were closing or idk and the only one displayed in the window was this one. tell me about FATE  Do you own any cds? not many. sometimes when im at the store and I see ones I know or like, I just buy them and put them in me moms car bc I want her to listen to them. or when I find a cd by a smaller artist I enjoy, I buy it just to push the nachfrage. HI i am HERE and I WANT this music  Is vinyl really better than listening on a digital device? im not gonna be that middle aged white male audiophile that hates on our generation for using Spotify. bc its great. I think its just different. I mean im sorry I don't carry my record player on the bus with me, pls forgive me for using my phone? having immediate access to most of the music that is out there? wow. what a concept. I love the internet. YES TECHNOLOGY. but. vinyls are... different. I feel likes its a different kind of listening. I feel like youre rly LISTENING. and that way isn't better, or right, and im not saying it works like this for everyone. but when I put a record on, my only activity at that moment is listening to music, I sit down and I listen. to the entire album. so skips and no pauses, bc that's how it works. and I think that sometimes, that can do a lot for you. if you let it.  and besides that, physically owning a record makes me happy on a level nothing else really does. fuck I love music so much and when I fall in love with it, I fall hard. and then owning a copy of it, something I can touch, something that is MINE, putting it in my little shelf, looking at it every few days and just being in love? fantastic feeling.  What is a genre of music that you tend to go to for comfort? sad shit. I feel like I can get great comfort from the sad shit. or maybe just slow shit. and songs that mean a lot to me and have been around me for some time, they have this other level of comfort. like for Emma, forever ago by bon iver for example. I have a playlist, maybe I'll reblog this again and link it ;) Do you tend to like poppy upbeat songs, or more intricate and interesting songs? both. sometimes I wanna have complicated stuff and analyze the shit out of lyrics and instrumentation, sometimes I just wanna v i b e If you have a favorite band or artist, tell us about how you got into them I liked paramore before but when they posted the video of them performing last hope at reading? it was over. when Hayley sang the bridge it was over. now im a die hard fan and I never looked back Is there a song that came out this year that you like? maybe after reading all this shit you expected a list but somehow I can't. where do u even start. but the answer is definitely yes.  THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING I COULD GO ON FOR DAYS 

[dreams-of-wings]

Friends Don't

Warnings: Some swearing, mentions of drinking, mentions of tragedy, this is my first song fic, so im sorry if it sucks :c other than that though, none unless you count tooth rotting fluff as a warning. So cheesy, Mikey might lather it on some pizza. For the sake of the story eveyone is at least of drinking age. I do not condone underaged drinking.

Multiverse!Raphael x Reader (feel free to imagine any version of him you want, I don't think I went too into detail)

Song: Friends Don't - Maddie & Tae

Requested by: @societyslostone

The realization was a slow one, for not just you, but him too. To the both of you, you were just best friends, though the brothers couldn't to hide the fact that they could feel the sometimes awkward tension between you and the red clad terrapin. It was subtle, but noticeable none the less - touches that would linger, gazes that would last a little too long, and the fact that Raph would sometimes stare at you like you put the moon and the stars in the night time sky just for him, was hard to ignore.

So here you are, laying in a bathtub full of warm water as you thought about your time knowing your sewer dwelling friend, with the radio blaring in the background.

They don't cancel other plans

You had planned a day out with your friends. Nothing wild, hopefully, you all were just planning on going to the mall or something, maybe going to an arcade and then later hitting up the nearest restaurant for some food. You had just got done getting dressed with and were currently looking at yourself in the mirror to make sure you looled okay, when suddenly your phone rings - the familiar ringtone you had set for Raph playing through the speakers. You practically jumped your phone before answering.

"Hey, Big Red, what's up?"

"You doing anything shorty?"

You glanced at yourself in the mirror once more and shrugged, "Not particularly."

"Cool," he nodded on the other side of the phone, leaning on one of the columns in his and Mikey's shared room, "You up for coming over?"

Now having your headphones plugged in and your phone in your jean pocket, you threw on a black denim jacket, "Sure!"

You both said your goodbyes before hanging up, and you dialed your friends number - waiting patiently at the ringer. You relaxed yourself and cleared your throat before they answered.

"Hey," you pulled off a slightly raspy sleepy sounding voice, "Don't think I'll be able to go out with you guys today, I've got this killer headache, and I just...feel warm and light headed."

You listened to your friend on the other line, nodding as they told you to stay home and eat soup, "Don't die, and drink lots of fluids."

"I'll try."

No sooner after you hung up, you were already leaving out your fire escape, watching the street to make sure you didn't see any vehicles you recognized before descending down the metal stairwell and heading for the turtles lair.

Have conversations with nothing but their eyes

You and Raph were currently hanging out in the makeshift kitchen (it was his turn to wash the dishes and you had decided to keep him company). The two of you were bantering about nothing and everything when Leo walked in to grab something to much on from the fridge. As soon as he came in the two of you went silent, and you glanced at Leo before looking back at Raph, who had done the same. You nudged you head slightly in Leo's direction, and Raph shrugged in reply before raising a brow at you. You snickered in response, causing the blue clad leader to turn and look at you.

"What?" He went back to looking through the pantry.

You shook your head, "Nothing." You cleared your throat before your turned to look at Raph, who was looking back at you with a smirk on his face. There was a very brief momemt of science while you fought back a grin of your own only to let out a chuckle.

Leo looked at the two of you suspiciously, before rolling his eyes and exiting the kitchenette with his chosen snack.

Now the both of you were laughing.

They don't hear each other's names and forget to concentrate

Hits a nerve and lights you up like dynamite

Raph had been on the punching bag at the time, practicing his hooks and jabs when he heard Mikey say your name. He stopped, breathing ragged from how intensely he had been focusing before he placed a large green hand on the red sand bag to slow down it's movements.

He couldn't even hear his brothers conversation, but regardless, now he was just starting at the two of them on the couch, lost in thought before he blinked and shook his head, walking away from the punching back to grab something to drink, and maybe give you a call.

They don't almost say "I love you"

When they're downtown somewhere, just a little drunk

You were a giggling mess as you and your group of three all leaned on eachother for support. You weren't off your ass drunk, but you were buzzed enough to find a little bit of everything funny, and not to think things through.

"You should call your guy friend," one of your more plastered friends hiccuped, "Tell him to join us!" They didn't know who or what Raph was, hell they didn't even know his name - They just knew you knew him, and that his name on your phone was 'Big Red' but that was about it. Without hesitation you pulled out your phone.

"Oooooh!" Your friends chorused as they and you jerked to a stop in the middle of the side walk under a lamp post.

Raph picked up after the second ring, "Shorty?"

"Hey, Big Red." He could already tell based on the sound of your voice that you were a little drunk.

"Oh my god," the girls were drunkenly swooning over your nickname for him, making kissy nooses in the background.

You snickered and tried but failed to elbow one of them in the ribs.

"You alright?" He had to ask, it was an honest question. Being drunk and out late at night wasn't exactly a hazard free scenario.

"Yeeah!" You giggled as one of your friends pushed their ear up to your phone, "Just wondering what you were up to."

"Hanging out, watching tv with my brothers."

"Oof, that voice," the one with her ear on the phone said, "He's got brothers?" She slurred.

"Are they single???" Your other companion piped up.

The girl closes to you snickered, "[Y/N]'s got dibs on 'Big Red'," she finally stepped away from you and headed over to the other and they both hung onto each other.

"You be careful out there, shorty."

You nodded, "I will," a stupid smile on your face, "Good night Raph-ie."

You friends were cooing and making wolf whistles in the background.

"Good night, short stuff."

You were leaning on the lamp post now, "I l-" you paused mid sentence.

There was a moment of silence.

"Shorty?"

The mere thought of almost saying 'I love you' to Raph was sobering, the feeling of your stomach dropping due to the nervous butterflies was enough to knock the rest of the alcohol out of your system.

"I'll talk to you later," you ended the call.

They don't talk about the future and put each other in it

"Okay!" You were currently rolled onto your back in bed, on the phone with Raphael, while he was currently laying propped up against the wall on his bed with his arms crossed.

"But just theoretically speaking, what if you could come to the surface." You were playing with your hair.

"What if the world knew you and they were okay with it," You shrughed, "I mean sure the road will be bumpy, but I mean there are still humans that can't accept people just because of their skin color or their beliefs so of course it would be hard."

He was quiet in the other line for a moment.

"But just think about it, if everyone could move past that, and you and your brothers could leave the sewers what would your do?"

"Finally treat you," he snickered and you chuckled with him. You has always talked about places you wanted to take him. The brothers had lived in New York all their lives, but they hardly got experience it because they had to stay in hiding.

"Finally come in through your door and not your window."

"I dunno, sneaking in through the window's kinda cool. Makes me think of all those superhero comics and how's where they visit the girl through her window."

And get chills with every accidental touch

It happened again - something tragic on the news. You had been with the turtles at the time, and Donnie called you and the brothers over to look at the news that was on one of his monitors. You watched with sad eyes, things like this were happening too often now, and something needed to be done about it. But what could you do? Hell what could the turtles do? It was in another state. You hadn't known your hands were shaking, or that you were gravitating towards Raphael till the knuckles of your hands met. The shaking stopped and you looped your ring and pinky finger around his third digit; he almost instantly closed his finger around yours. You looked up at him, face heating up slightly and hairs on the back of your neck standing on end, but his eyes were still on the monitors though his muscles were visibly tence.

I keep telling myself this might be nothing

But one look in your eyes and, God, there's something

You and the large terrapin had been joking around on the couch while watching some rom com movie that was on tv, and the two of you glanced at eachother at the same time - big stupid grins on your faces as you shared a laugh.

Though when the laughter died down you both continued to stare, big smiles still on your faces and you could swear there was a spark of something in Raphael's eye. You cleared your throat and looked down at your hands before looking back to the tv, Raph doing the same soon after.

You can lie to me and say you don't

But I know you do, and I love you too

"Just kiss already!" Mikey blurted out in frustration while you and Raph were in the middle of a heated argument.

"Shut up, Mikey!" Raph growled at his younger brother, taking a threatimening step closer to the orange masked turtle, and the smaller of the two hurried away.

"I wouldn't kiss her!" He shouted after his retreating sibling, a snarl still plastered on his face before he turned back to look at you and your blank stare.

"I mean-" he didn't want you to think he didn't like you, "I didn't mean it like that-"

You silenced him by raising your hand, giving him a tight lipped smile, "It's fine, let's just give it a rest for now," and walking away.

Friends don't call you in the middle of the night

Couldn't even tell you why

They just felt like saying "hi"

"Hmmph..." You groaned groggily as you rolled over in your bed to face your night stand, taking the loudly ringing and wildly buzzing phone off the furniture before answering, not even bothering to check the caller ID.

"Hello?" Your voice was raspy and quiet as you tried to wake yourself up.

"Shorty? Sorry were you sleeping?" You instantly recognized Raph deep voice nd Brooklyn accent.

You immediately try to sit up right, failing a couple times as you stumbled to prop yourself up on one hand, "No, No," you tried to untangle yourself from your blanket, "I've been up for hours."

"Did you need something?" You tried to hide a yawn as he chuckled from the other side of the phone.

"Nah, just wanted to say hi, maybe talk for a bit."

Friends don't stand around, playing with their keys

Finding reasons not to leave

Trying to hide the chemistry

You and Raph were standing around in the dark ally way close to where you had parked your car. You wanted to head home and he had offered to walk you back to the surface. Now the two of you were just talking about random things, thinhs that would normally be saved for phone conversations, but that didn't matter. You just were having a hard time saying goodbye, and you both talked about your plans for tomorrow as you fiddled with the keychain on your keyring.

Drive a little too slow, take the long way home

After a while you had just decided to leave your car let Raph take you home.

"I'll pick it up on my way to work," was your reasoning, even though you didn't work anywhere near the area. You approached him and he immediately picked you up, hugging you against his plastron with one arm while he used the other to help him scale the fire escape ladder that lead to the roof, and the two of you continued at a slow walking pace from there towards your apartment building.

Get a little too close

You and Raph had been sitting in your apartment, watching tv. It had started with just your knees touching and then maybe your pinky brushed against his third finger. You two were binging movies, and when he moved to lay back against the arm rest of the couch you repositioned yourself accordingly - laying against his plastron with both your legs up on the couch. You laughed at a scene that you both thought was funny or stupid.

"Dumbass," you snickered at the snarky comment and turned to look up at your turtle friend, him doing the same as he looked at you. Your faces were just a few inches apart and you could feel his warm breath on your face.

We do

But friends don't

[alicedoessurveys]

VERY long survey

Where have you lived throughout your life? 

Birmingham UK

Do you find your job rewarding? 

N/A

What kind of cake did you have for your last birthday? 

chocolate

To you, which is better: English muffins or bagels? 

I enjoy both, but bagels.

Do you paint your nails? 

yes. although they're not painted at the moment because ive been cleaning the house so much the past couple days and its stripped my varnish off

What’s the last website you signed up for? 

a dating thing

Do you check your email everyday? 

yes, I cant stand having the little red number above the mail app 

Have you created any pages on Facebook?

yes but I dont have them anymore

Is there a subject that you absolutely suck at? 

every subject, but especially maths and science 

What’s your favourite song by Dave Matthews Band? 

I dont know any 

Are there people you have absolutely nothing in common with, but still enjoy talking to? 

I dot particularly enjoy talking to anyone :’)

Have you ever wandered around drunk with your friend? 

yes, we wondered around through the middle of Birmingham at 4am 

Are you good at holding back your laughter if needed? 

haha nope

Have you ever been so unfortunate to suffer from a hangover?

yes

Have you ever had a panic attack? 

many, I had to drop out of college because of them 

Are you deathly allergic to anything? 

nope

Have you ever had a mouse in your house? 

nope

Do you know anyone who DOESN’T have an ex? 

myself 

Is anyone you know really religious? 

my family

Are your eyebrows naturally thick? 

yes

Has speaking in front of people ever made you sick? 

not physically sick, but definitely felt it. the worst experience Ive had with speaking was in college when I had to give a speech then teach a 10 minute class. my throat totally dried up and I literally couldnt speak. everyone just stared at me and I was trying so hard not to cry. longest 10 minutes of my life and as soon as it finished I legged it out the room and burst into tears. 

What was the last movie that made you teary-eyed? 

Mary Poppins Returns almost got me but the last film to actually make me cry was Coco. That shit had me SOBBING!

Have you had two friends that absolutely hated each other? 

yes 

Has a laptop ever burned your legs? 

not really, I put a cushion on my lap normally

Do you know anyone who has a scar through their eyebrow?

no

Who was the last person to flip you off? 

probably rhys, as a joke

Anyone’s birthday coming up soon? 

my dad turns 50 next week

Would you ever wear fake eyelashes? 

I have done a few times but they annoy me

Are you good at following directions? 

no no no I get confused very easily

Do you have someone that you can just act a fool with and not care? 

yes rhys 

From where you’re sitting, can you touch a wall? 

if I reach behind me 

When at a restaurant, do you put your napkin on your lap? 

occasionally, it depends where I am and what im eating 

Do you prefer electric or manual pencil sharpeners? 

manual 

Are your biceps at all noticeable? 

they used to be before they went into hiding under a layer of fat 

Have you ever seen a walrus? 

nope

When it comes to dropping food, do you believe in the 10 second rule? 

no, I believe in the ‘what food is it’ and ‘how dirty is the floor’ rules

If given the opportunity, would you ride on a camel? 

yes. I was supposed to have gone on a camel ride in Tunisia ages ago but I was ill so we didn't get to go 

Do you believe that cellphones actually do cause cancer?

they could be. the number of people getting cancer has gone up a lot since everyone has mobile phones 

When people you know cry, does it make you feel like crying too? 

depends who it is 

Do you tend to jump to conclusions? 

yes. Im an anxious person so im constantly overthinking and I also find people really hard to read and can get

Are you good at remembering your friends’ birthdays? 

yes my brain cant remember important things but when it comes to dates its like a sponge 

Is there something you need to do, that you’re trying to avoid doing? 

getting a job

Ever pop someone else’s pimple? 

ew no

How long does it take you to fall asleep? 

about 15 minutes depending on how tired I am 

Do you crack your neck often?

no that freaks me out 

Did you have a weird dream last night? 

not that I can remember, I have been having a lot of weird dreams this week because im ill

Who do you sometimes compare yourself to? 

everyone. especially when im at the theatre, im constantly watching other people and wishing I could act like they can or look like them or have their style 

Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things? 

both

In what way are you your own worst enemy? 

every way, I dont look after myself at all 

What activities make you lose track of time? 

sims

When you help someone do you ever think, “What’s in it for me?” 

not really 

Who do you tell your secrets to? 

these surveys 

Who do you live with? 

my parents and our foster kids 

When did/will you graduate? 

I didn't 

When are you moving next? 

I have no idea. probably never 

When is the last time you took a vitamin? 

this morning, im fighting a cold 

Why are you stressed? 

im not too bad right now tbh

Do you need to return anyone’s phone call? 

nope

Where do you keep your birth certificate? 

no clue, my mom has it somewhere 

How many books are in your room?

a lot. I have quite a few on display and a whole bunch hidden away in my closet because theres no space for them anywhere else. I'll include some photos of the books in my room;

(the book on my bedside table in the second picture is actually a lamp that lights up when you open it)

Have you ever been IN a wedding? 

nope

What was the last thing you laughed out loud at?

probably my mom 

Do you have a nickname? Why? 

my family call my bongy or Ali bong, I dont know why.. (my name is Alice)

Have you ever had a bad concert experience? 

nope

When was the last time someone told you that you were beautiful/good-looking? Do people often tell you this? 

my mom tells me almost every day but Im like youre my mom of course you would say that 

Are you missing someone of the opposite sex atm? 

no

Want someone back in your life? 

meh

Are you currently sad about anything? 

actually nope

Are you wearing anything shiny? 

my pj top has glittery silver letters on

How important is a sense of humor in a significant other? 

very, I fall very easily for people who make me laugh

How many followers do you have on Twitter? 

198 (@alicethenerd if ya wanna follow 😉)

Do you sleep with the door open or closed? 

closed. I aint about letting those murderers and monsters just waltz straight in easy peasy 

Have you ever been to the beach? 

yes every summer since I was a kid 

Can you handle blood? 

nope

Do you pay your bills or do your parents?

I pay my own bills. no way my dad would be up for paying my bills, he already digs at me constantly about the fact that I live rent free even though I look after the foster kids and tidy the house more than he does

What’s your best friend’s middle name? 

Connor

Has any place hired you underage for a job? 

not officially

Have you ever barely passed a grade/year in school? 

yes

Have you ever carried a concealed weapon? 

no

Have you ever tried to sell something overpriced to someone? 

no

Do you plan to become very wealthy some day? 

I hope to become wealthy enough to not worry about having enough money to put fuel in my car anymore and to be able to pay back my parents and grandad for everything they've done for me 

Do you remember your first time going to the movies? 

no, but my earliest cinema memory was going to watch Monsters Inc with my dad when it was first released 

Does eating breakfast make you sick? 

if I try to eat before a certain time yes

Are you dying to say something to someone right this minute?

not dying to nope

Book series you enjoyed reading recently? 

im reading eve of man atm which apparently is going to be a series

Do you enjoy lying in the grass during the summer, and just existing? 

I prefer lying on a blanket, I dont like the feel of grass and I dont like the bugs crawling around 

Do you have a passport? If so, how many stamps do you have in it? 

yes, it doesn't have many stamps in because I lost the one that did have lots in and I havent been away much since getting the new one 

Are there any keys on your keyboard that have letters fading away? 

nope

Do any of your close friends have children? 

no

What do you plan on having for dinner?

we already had dinner, we had chippy

Do you like Chinese food, or do you find it disgusting? 

I only really like one meal 

Have the police ever come knocking on your door looking for someone? 

actually yes, literally a few weeks ago

Know anybody who works in a tattoo parlor? 

yes, my second cousin 

Have you ever played flashlight tag?

ive never heard of it

Could you call yourself a movie buff?

not really, im a huge movie fan but theres still a lot I need to see 

Have you ever had a piercing get infected?

never had a piercing 

Do you check your fire alarms when you’re supposed to? 

dad does it

Are you a shorts wearing kind of person? 

nope nope nope, my legs are not suitable for public viewing :’)

Is your grandparents’ house obsessively tidy?

not really no. my nan and grandpa’s house is always neat but not obsessively neat. my grandads house is full of clutter because my nan was a hoarder 

About how much can you bench press? 

I dont know, I havent lifted in years 

Have you ever had your phone die on you in the middle of a conversation? 

yes

Is anybody in your family a carpenter? 

no

Are you avoiding someone? 

yes

Do you call your boyfriend “Monkey”? 

I dont have a boyfriend but if I did I doubt id call him monkey

What’s your favorite primary color? 

yellow #hufflepuffpride

What were you for Halloween? 

nothing, I didn't dress up 

Do you have any clothes from Walmart? 

nope, we dont have Walmart here

When did you get a Facebook? 

about 10 years ago 

What color are your eyes? 

green/hazel

What motivates you? 

happiness

Can you walk in heels? 

nope

When was the last time someone asked you your age? 

the other day, my own mother forgot how old I was

Do you keep a journal? 

not really

Have you ever tried a weird flavor of vodka? 

never had vodka

Do you wear a ring on your finger? 

occasionally

What are you doing? 

watching ‘the greatest dancer’ and wondering if this survey is ever going to end 

What’s the last kind of soup you ate?

tomato 

Do you currently have a sunburn?

no. its winter

Who did you last text? 

my sister

Who’d you last call? About what? 

my mom, to ask her to come downstairs and let the dogs out because the baby was asleep on me and there was no way I was going to risk waking her up

Are you currently frustrated with someone? 

yes

Do you drink water or soda more often? 

water

Do you straighten your hair?

yes

When did you last talk to your brother or sister? 

today

What is your least favorite vegetable? 

all of them

Outside of family, name 3 people that make you smile/laugh often. 

Rhys, Addison, Jacob

In school, what subjects did you achieve your highest grades in? 

IT

Was there a subject that you enjoyed, but weren’t too good at? 

I didn't really enjoy any subjects at school

When was the last time something didn’t go to plan? What happened? 

today. I had planned to deep clean the bathroom but I went super dizzy and had to give up half way through cleaning 

Do you have any children? If not, at what age do you think you’ll feel ready to be a parent? 

I dont but I am seriously considering adopting one of our foster babies atm. I want to adopt anyway, theres no way I could be pregnant 

When was the last time you bought a new item of clothing?Describe it. 

I honestly cant remember, im due a shopping trip

Was your last Facebook friend request from a male or female?

female

Do you have an item of clothing that makes you feel especially beautiful? Describe it. 

not really no

Think of the last person that betrayed you. If they said they were sorry, would you forgive them? 

I would cautiously forgive him but I would also make sure he knew that how he treated me was not okay and that he really upset me and this would be his last chance. but tbh I think hes done with me so 🤷🏻‍♀️

Nastiest thing you’ve ever done? 

I dont know, I dont like being nasty

Have you ever been in a lighthouse? 

nope

What colour is your shower? 

I think its silver, ive ever actually noticed

Where do you order your pizza from?

dominos

When is the last time you had a serious talk with someone?

few days ago 

Do you find that you have a certain meal you eat every time you go to certain restaurants? 

yes, im a creature of habit

What colour is your bike?

silver & purple

What word can you not stand to hear people say? 

the c word, I cant even type it

What room of your house are you in? 

living room 

What is the temperature in your city right now? 

9°c

When did you last use a post-it-note?

last week in the script for the show im currently working on 

Would you ever want to own your own restaurant? 

yes

Do you have a fan in your bedroom? 

no I dont like them, they make too much noise 

Who is the last person that you took a picture with? 

one of our foster kids 

When is the last time you were stuck in a fairly long traffic jam?

the weekend before christmas 

Do you have certain friends that you hug every time you see them? 

not many

When was your most recent trip to an aquarium? 

almost two years ago 

What do you like in your salads and what dressing do you prefer? 

I dont like salads

If it has one, do you ever use the notepad function in your phone? 

all the time, Im constantly writing lists or reminders to myself 

How good would you say your memory is?

long term good, short term bad

About how many times during the night do you wake up from your sleep? 

a few times

Are there any air fresheners in your house? What kinds? 

multiple, we have plugs in and sprays and those automatic ones that go off every 15 minutes 

What’s one thing you’re glad you’ve done recently?

done my laundry :’) im on my last pair of pants!

Have you ever done something sexual that you regret? 

no

Do you like to sit in the sun and tan when it’s hot out? 

not really, I dont like being too hot

Ever had a person who was obsessed with you so much that it scared you? 

no

Can you drive, and if you can, do you like it? 

yes, I love driving most of the time 

Have you ever said anything to the last person you kissed that you regret? 

no

Do you like french fries?

yes

Have you ever eaten so much you puked?

not since I was a kid 

Do you care about what others think of your physical appearance? 

annoyingly yes

Would you rather go to Greece or France?

greece

[imnotyogi]

Im the anon from before and I see what ur saying.... it just really bothers me because he was this great guy that everyone looked up to n praised for so long n I still have a feeling he is but it just pisses me off that the relationship did what it did.. I had the feeling that she wasn't in if for the long run and that it would end in shambles but I didn't expect that at all like for awhile I was like it won't last they seem happy and then it ended up into a mess and it seemed +

So sketchy to me how she was all of a sudden claiming he was such a bad person. Like I'm aware actual abuse victims hide their feelings which was why I was skeptic on his part but at the same time she's so switch up??? Part of me wanted to believe okay maybe he did actually do it just so I could justify the amount of backlash he got since everyone basically cancelled him, otherwise that's just a sad fucking shame what she did.And ya on ur point about him changing for the worse when she came into his life I totally agree. It's ridiculous to me how he was pretty steady for this whole time until she came into his life.... I was a big fan before he was with her and the phase died out but I still admired him and then when that mess happened I felt ashamed but at the same time everyone was so quick to turn on him without looking at it all properly. Anyways I'm done but the whole sucks.

____Long winded post ahead: 

I don’t know if it was intentional on her part or just the byproduct of her effect on him but I think the image drop in those few years made it easier for some to believe her. The most recent image of him people had in their minds was a middle aged dude who left his partner of 14 years and mother of his children for a girl half his age (whether that’s true or not is ultimately irrelevant). And now he’s all bloated and looks exhausted constantly. So mid-life crisis, drink, drugs, and personality change all “make sense”. He became a cliche and, for some people, a caricature of himself. 

There are always going to be people who believe whatever they want about public figures though. Their minds get made up on half the information. I’ve had people link to articles that literally leave out important pieces of information. I suppose we can’t be surprised by this lack of balanced reporting on celebrities when we can’t get that with more important shit though. Honestly, I think Johnny has built up such a great reputation that he will withstand the abuse allegations (and thus far he has). Especially in light of him not being replaced in the Fantastic Beasts movies. It’d be so easy for the studios and JK Rowling to get rid of him since people are being fired left and right due to allegations. Albeit sexual assault/harassment allegations but still. They’re keeping an accused wife beater as a lead role in a family movie. She’s the one person to accuse him of serious horrible behavior in the 30+ years he’s been in Hollywood. Even now I’d imagine more people would come out and say something about him if there was anything. But no one has at this point. You have co-stars, crew members, producers, directors, journalists, etc all speaking very well of him for decades. All of that wouldn’t be undone by a single allegation of abuse. I don’t think most people “cancelled” him. I doubt most people really give a shit either way and many would raise an eyebrow if told the facts. If they’re told Amber leaked/sold her photos to the media instead of police, avoided doing her deposition, “bruises” are compared, etc. It’s this nonsensical “woke” bullshit. They’re just the other side of the coin that they’re fighting against. I don’t think anything good comes from extremism. IMO, it’s better to have a more measured approach to things. I don’t know how many times I read something like “9 out of 10 women wouldn’t lie about abuse so what are the odds Amber is that 1 out of 10 who did?” And it’s like, well someone has to be that 1 out of 10 (if that was even a verifiable fact to begin with). Can’t apply such a statistic to every single case of alleged abuse in the name of “being woke”. There is a grey area in life. These people get loud though. There should never be a trial by social media period. Not just because we lack the capabilities to properly examine evidence but because its a short sighted echo chamber. It’s a terrible combination. There are still people who are saying he was convicted of abuse. They probably saw it on Twitter or got an anon and never bothered to look beyond it. People think the person telling them something has done the legwork on verifying it. 

[nerdytranswoman]

NSFW ask! those questions......... alllll of them.

1. Are looks important in a relationship?

Not sure. I tend to follow my gut when i meet people, so maybe there's some subconscious thoughts? But Personally, I’d say not, since I actively seek out thoughts on looks in order to change them by thinking “what if that was you?”. 

2. Are relationships ever worth it?

Yes. Yes they are. I feel so good when I click with a group of people, but when I find that one I can spend 100% of my time/energy with, they are all i need.

3. Are you a virgin?

haha, whats that?

4. Are you in a relationship?

Not in any I like, thats for sure. (samy, shut up. you got your family/live under the same roof, i want mine.)

5. Are you in love?

yes.

6. Are you single this year?

yeah. ish. 

7. Can you commit to one person?

I can, and I have before. 

8. Describe your crush

Smart, funny, nerdy, loves to talk with me, but even the silence in eachothers company was amazing, seeing the stars/moon reminds me of her every night. 9. Describe your perfect mate

^up there.

10. Do you believe in love at first sight?

mmm, yes? people are people, and sometimes they just... click!

11. Do you ever want to get married?

Yes, but not for government benefits. For Love. 

12. Do you forgive betrayal?

No, not without a VERY good explanation with proof. 

13. Do you get jealous easily?

Yes. bitch, I know I ordered the salad, but I’d cheat on it with your burger anyday.

other than that, no.

14. Do you have a crush on anyone?

Yes.

15. Do you have any piercings?

Yes. Yes I do. ;p

16. Do you have any tattoos?

yes. 27 if you count individual letters separately.

17. Do you like kissing in public?

If it’s someone I love, then the world can fuck off as I make out with them in the middle of the mall.

20. Do you shower every day?

I try to, but water conservation/depression sometimes get in the way.

21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

Yup. I’m cute as heck, so unless you’re Ace, I assume you have feelings for me. 

22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

Probably. Do parents ever not think about their kid?

23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

Easily.

24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

Well, I was engaged last year, so who knows! Maybe!

25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?

Yes, of course. I’m sick of my heart breaking tho.

26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

Yes. I didn't think it would be that bad till I lost them.

27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?

mmm, nope.

28. Have you ever been cheated on?

Kinda? I’ve been lied to in the middle of a break with an understanding we would use the break to improve our relationship.

29. Have you ever cheated on someone?

Never.

30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?

Yup. Besides the standard surgery, I want to modify my body with augmentable mechanical limbs!31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?

Every day.

32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?

Yes.

33. Have you ever had sex with a man?

Yup. Hated it.

34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?

Yup. Loved all of them. wait, no scratch that, still love them all even if our lives are going in two different directions now.

35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

Yes. Yes I have. 

36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?

Liked? LIKED??!?! I love her. RIP, Alex. I miss you.

37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

Yup. first gf. she was manipulative and my friends told me, but I wouldn't listen.

38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

Yes. First time I met them I was scared shitless, but now I’m pretty sure that person would fight for me if someone was a big enough of a dick to me. 

39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

Yes, everyday for two years now. 

40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?

haha, yes! but none of you’ll ever hear it!

41. Have you had sex so far this year?Yes, though not as much as my newfound horniness would like me to be having. 

42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?

Umm, depends? Sometimes kissing doesn't start till after the wandering?

43. How long was your longest relationship?

3 years.

44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?

Umm, I’ve dated a lot, but in terms of actual relationships? 5. 

45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013?

Nobody. That’s when I was coming out of the closet to myself. 

46. How many times did you have sex last year?

I had a partner then, so...

47. How old are you?

Im currently a Quarter of a century old. How about that?

48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

“Awesome! go get that skan... Skilled tuba player, im assuming.” 

49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?

Currently not applicable. But I do like the intelligence and depth of conversation I’ve had with partners. 

50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

No. That ship has sailed.

51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?

Yes. 

52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why?

A girl named Glenni. She told me she was Ace, but I will admit it took a little longer than that to stop pining for her. 53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

A few people don’t like my on-again/off-again/complex relationship with a gal in Monterey.

54. Is there someone you will never forget?

Alex.

55. Share a relationship story.

Watching the sunset on the beach slowly turn into a hamburger because of the clouds. We also had a picnic and I made vegan cheese for her sandwich! Idk what happened, but sadly we are no longer together.

56. State 8 facts about your body

Soft, Squishy, blonde leg/arm hair that makes me look shaved even after 8 months, a scar on my nose, a scar on my arm, crazy strength, shit stamina, gets wet at the beach.

57. Things you want to say to an ex

Fuck you for messing me up so badly that when I met the next person to make me feel even happier, I chickened out out of fear I’d lose them. 

58. What are five ways to win your heart?

Food, Conversational compatibility, cuddles, Adventures, ability to enjoy eachothers company in silence.59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!)

Here

60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners?

7 years. that's the extreme I’m willing to date.

61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?

Eyes, usually. Not color or shape, but how they express themselves, if that makes sense.

62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?

I’d say something special that shows me how much they care for me. 

63. What is your definition of “having sex”?

Um, pretty much whatever you do with you and your partners genitals i guess?

64. What is your definition of cheating?

Seeing someone else in a relationship/sexual capacity without my knowledge. 

65. What is your favourite foreplay routine?

Teasing, followed by light touching.

66. What is your favourite roleplay?

BDSM, Brat vs Dom. I’ll let you guess what role I like to play. ;p

67. What is your idea of the perfect date?

Lots of cuddling, movies, and food all at home followed by sexytimes maybe?

68. What is your sexual orientation?

Gay. women are just so hot. 

69. What turns you off?

Lots of things. but being mean is pretty high up there. 

70. What turns you on?

Cheezy romantic crap directed at me.

71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?

Giving my partner complete (consensual and trusting with a safeword) control for them to do whatever they want with me. 

72. What words do you like to hear during sex?

... 

”Good girl.” 

>.

73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?

Take me out for fancy food.

74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?

Weight. I dont like too skinny or too heavy, but someone with a healthy looking amount of chub I can become immediately attracted to. 

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?

Flew out to visit me. We shared one kiss. 

76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?

Idk, I like to think im pretty sweet to most people in general, but I don't know what the sweetest thing I’ve done for someone is. 

77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?

if you’re not in your teens, don't date a teen. Otherwise, keep it within a decade to minimize incompatibility brought about by slight differences in culture growing up, especially in this technological age where it seems every six months there’s a new generation influencing the world. My limit is 7 years.

78. What’s your dirtiest secret?

Ever sucked a girls dick on a beach under a new moon? I have. 

79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why?

A few days ago. She’s just better than me in every way it seems. 

80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

yesterday?

81. Who are five people you find attractive?

Me, samy, rain, glenni, alex

82. Who is the last person you hugged?

um, my therapist. A new one that i can very easily open up too, and apparently the feelings I’ve shared with her made her want to hug me at the end of our session. 

83. Who was your first kiss with?

NOBODY. thats who. 

she ded 2 me.

84. Why did your last relationship fail?

I have no clue. I thought things were going well, but then she told me she wanted to end things romanticly. I accepted, because why not? I don't want to force someone to be with me that doesn't want to. But I do worry it was something i said, something I did. 

85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?

haha, how do you think i find gf’s?

[punkscowardschampions]

Bea & Lola & Ronnie & Charlie

1st attempt at group chat style

Bea: Celebrations are in order! Who's in and where do we start? Lola: Hell yeah count me in! 🎉 pre-game at ours if we're stocked? 🍸💊 Ronnie: Finally ditched the freckled dead weight, yeah? I'll drink to that Charlie: Lmao Charlie: We were good last time I checked but if not sounds like princess is in the treating mood, yeah? 😉 Good news all 'round Bea: Since when do you need a reason? 🤔 but I got a first, if you must know Bea: I'll be round in a bit then, save me some, Lola talking specifically to you now, know a losing battle when I see one Ronnie: since we ain't all getting bankrolled by the student loan. fitzy that's where you're wrong bitch we out Lola: Yes girl! 🤗 I got you and will be keeping suitable 💊 from the mouths of these babes 😏 Congrats on being a brainbox confirmed too btw Lola: if someone ☝ stayed outta my stuff we're good 🤞 Ronnie: fuck you. sharing's caring Bea: says THE most selfish one in this chat ok Bea: and thanks Lo 😘 Ronnie: get off my tits princess Charlie: even the club drugs??? why you been doing them alone in the middle of the day you nutter 😂 ah well Lola: They were mine and I took them Thursday 👍 Bea: tits, where??? Charlie: children please! there's always a dealer with a dick to suck, we don't need to eat each other quite yet, chill out or you need some of that too Charlie: Christ Ronnie: on it, no complaints outside of this chat like Charlie: He'll be devvo its not me 😕 Ronnie: if I was scoring from big dom then yeah but like fuck am I going that far for you cunts Lola: he asked me if I wanted a free tat last time I went 😕 looking to branch out or just touch my body with needles? No way to know Bea: God, Lola, do not ⛔ its free hepatitis is what it is, Charlie already dicing with death there 😷 Grotty Ronnie: fuck it they're treatable 'cept for A Ronnie: shit at drawing though so forget that like Bea: 🙄 well then, go ahead and catch 'em all like pokemon, aim for those mid-grades though, over-achieving will get you 💀 Ronnie: reckon its too late for that. he's sound though 'cept this art on my arm looking like a dog's dick Ronnie: all I got from him Lola: have you even shown me that? 👀 viewing party tonight too please Charlie: Didn't think that was your thing Lolly? As long as it's attached to a dog you're into it? 😵 alright our kid 😬 Lola: Shut your gob Charlie! 🖕 Bea: you WANT to be insulted, masochist 💘 if it was decent it wouldn't match the rest, man knows your aesthetic if nothing else Charlie: 😂 soz babe Ronnie: fuck off and get a tramp stamp you sket Bea: good one 👍 bitter you won't get to see Ronnie: nah I'm bitter that he hasn't written that cunt's name on you yet. guarantees a break up like Bea: Whoever could you be talking about? You're so unclear about your feelings, so mysterious Lola: guys this is not a party atmosphere! I wanna wreck my head in a good way Lola: Calm the tits you both have please Charlie: Agreed, now everyone say thank you to Ronnie for going on the drugs run Charlie: THANK YOU RONNIE 💖 Ronnie: what happened to not eating me out fitz? you strike out last night or what? Lola: I'll say it when I get my share not before 😏 Charlie: I'm trying to create a party atmosphere, silly bitch Charlie: What says party better than oral? Ronnie: we haven't had an orgy for ages, miss me that much yeah? Bea: only domestics these days, init? Charlie: not in front of the children, please Lola: 🤒 Lola: thanks for the mental scars Ronnie: any time Bea: Well, you've really brought me down Bea: Get a better night out if I stayed here, saying something 🙄 Ronnie: knock you down if you want Bea: I was asking for a good time, not necessarily in pissing myself at you trying but if that's all you've got, babe Ronnie: this bitch Bea: Yeah, I am. Lola: 😂 you two kill me Charlie: so much unresolved sexual tension Charlie: its getting to us all Charlie: sort it out lads Lola: speak for yourself ✌ Ronnie: she couldn't turn me on if her boyfriend's life depended on it you filthy scrote Ronnie: porn hub's here for you lad, use it Bea: Oh, please. You're never off, out here panting like a dog. Bea: And you can dream on too, Charlie. NEVER going to happen. Ronnie: something to fucking agree on Ronnie: around you I'm dead below the waist cheers for that Ronnie: like im on ket Charlie: You both know it will 🌈😍🎆 and it will be magical Bea: Welcome. Perhaps you could use the moments of clarity to do something with your life. Ronnie: I'm scoring for you right now princess so go fuck yourself Bea: One for the CV, I'm sure. Bea: If you thought I was thanking you, or going down on you...I'd be quicker to get my own. 👑 remember? Get it flown in from Columbia before that Ronnie: get your fucking own then Ronnie: i asked for neither that's fitzys wet dream Bea: Always quick to martyr yourself Bea: No one asked you to go get the gear Bea: and you took it all in the first place so; what's your issue here? Ronnie: fuck you Ronnie: you're a cunt that's every day's issue Lola: 🤦 Bea: Are you TRYING to make Charlie cum in his pants? Bea: Take that shit private, I've told you both I'm not interested Bea: What, not room for two in this town? Ronnie: no need to try he's pulling himself off as we speak Bea: Well, always nice when they essentially do the job themselves when you're past your prime, I imagine Charlie: I'm ignoring you both, is what I'm doing Charlie: You're both clearly blobbing so we'll save the idea for another day Charlie: Damn 😏 Lola: 🙄 Lola: Charlie I raised you better than that! Charlie: What?! Did you see how cunty the lone rangers were being Charlie: and I say ONE thing Lola: period bants are so 20 years ago boy Lola: know better Lola: Just cos they don't have any idea how to play nice Lola: that's old too Charlie: Who said its bants? Speculation 'bout the state of their knickers if nothing else Charlie: also, I add, probs in a twist Charlie: ba-dum-tss Ronnie: get your head outta my crotch for 5 seconds lad christ Charlie: 🐶 Ronnie: get your red wings from that bitch, just be prepared to be disappointed like, princess talks a good game but that's it like Bea: Yet here you are, all mouth. Bea: Both of you stop projecting your creepy shit, thanks Lola: everyone stop this shit or I bounce, thanks 👌 Lola: I could have a better party on my own at this point Bea: Agreed Bea: I'm staying here, see you around Lo Charlie: Ughhhhhhhhh Charlie: Guys no Lola: Laters then B xx Charlie: I'll even miss the chance to be 'insensitive' and tell you to kiss and make up, alright? Charlie: We're all bored, obvs, we need a party Charlie: Everyone suck it up, we can split up after pre-drinks, so what does it matter Lola: Fine, one more chance 😌 don't fuck it up Lola: Bea you in? Charlie: Ronaldo? Bea: Yeah, whatever Ronnie: suck a dick charlie I was never out Charlie: Well...with that confusing display of enthusiasm, we're back on! Bea get your fine ass on that train, we'll sort the rest between us Charlie: Everyone happy? Lola: 😁 Ronnie: 🖕 Bea: Nothing and no one's bringing me down 💋

[withered-tears]

Avjshsjvsjs I blame you for this. So enjoy.

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This job sucks. Specially cuz if it wasn't being boring it meant someone was flipping dying.

But screw it. I need the money, and swimming was basically second nature at this point.

At least sometimes I got to see people making fool of themselves.

Speaking of.

"Come on Peridot! You promised Pearl that you'd watch me!"

"Yes, and I'm perfectly capable of watching you from any of those chairs!"

As if a girl her age wearing alien motif floaties wasn't funny already, just add a kid easily half her age dragging her by the hand towards the pool.

Kids trying to drag their guardians wasn't nothing new of course, but the fact that this kid was actually managing to drag her without much effort was sorta hilarious.

"Come on! We can see see who makes the biggest cannonball! Here I'll start!"

And there goes the kid running to the pool. Goddamn it why kids have to run all the time.

"STEVEN! DON'T RUN NEAR THE POOL!"

gemsus that small blonde had some strong lungs. But she did made the kid freeze on the spot.

"Seriously! There's like five signs that say don't run! You could've had slipped and hit your head and get hurt an-WHAA"

and of course she slipped right into the pool. And now she was thrashing.

Shit.

Luckily since my attention was already on her I pulled her out before she got the chance to breathe in any water.

Getting the loud nerd out of the water? Easy.

Making her stop panicking enough so she realizes she can breathe? Slightly harder.

Making the kid realize she's okay so he can stop bawling his eyes out? Yeah... Shit.

"I-im SoRrYyy. If- if I didn't ran you *sniff* you wouldn't had faAAaalll."

"Steven! Steven, it's *coff* ok, I'm ok!"

Uh, at least her first priority is to calm the kid down.

"I'm sorry... I wouldn't have tried to get you to join me if I knew you couldn't swim!"

Wow her ENTIRE face just got red.

It was kinda cute.

"I don't NEED to swim! I live in the middle of the city AND work all day long with electronics! I don't see why I should waste my time learning to float around like a lazy duck. Tell me one good reason I should!"

"To make my job easier?"

"GHAA!"

Well apparently she didn't even realized I was still sitting next to her making sure she was alright.

Nevermind before, NOW her entire face was red.

Again, kinda cute.

"Oh yeah thanks for saving Peridot!"

Wow this kid can hug. No wonder he could drag this tiny nerd so easily, what does his parents feed him?

Since "I'm contractually obligated to" wasn't exactly a kid friendly answer I settled for "no prob Bob." The kid seemed to love it.

"Aren't you gonna say thanks Peridot?"

"Ghuuuuh"

Classy.

"I MEAN, *coff* yes, well. Thanks I suppose. Even though it's your job. Yes."

Wow tiny nerd was kinda a dick. But not in a 'i pretend to drown so you make out with me' douchebag way, more like 'i have no idea how to talk to people' way.

"Yeah, your welcome."

Well there goes today's entertainment. Back to the annoyingly tall chair.

*GASP* "Wait!"

Or not.

"Can't lifeguards like, teach to swim?"

"Steven! I told you that I don't need to-"

"You can teach Peridot! Then she can go in the pool and we can play games and have cannonball contests and have a pool noddle fight and-"

"Steven. Breathe"

"Can you? Please please pleeeeaaase?"

Wow. Those are the biggest puppy eyes I have ever seen.

But small blondie Peridot seemed legitimately uncomfortable.

"Sorry kid. I, uhhh, my boss only lets me teach kids you know?"

Have to give a kid bad news? Blame it on the boss. Ha.

Not so HA the kid looked heartbroken. Shit.

Wait, small nerd looked sorta sad too. Shit.

"Well.. what if, you teach ME how to swim!"

"What? Steven you know how to swim already."

"Maaaaybe but I'm pretty bad at it! So maybe you can teach me! And if Peridot happens to be close enough to pick on a few things we just don't tell your mean boss!"

Oh my God this kid was adorable.

"Yes well, IF you need the extra lessons, as a responsible caretaker it would be my duty to stay near you. But only if we stay in the shallow end."

To be fair today was a pretty slow day. Aaaand there could be worse ways to spend the time that teaching a cute dork to swim.

Said dork just walked to her bag (was that a burger shaped backpack?) To retrieve a tablet.

And she just put it inside a Ziploc bag.

"Now I'm ready!"

Oh my God she is such a dork. I can't not ask her out.

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@kyoryu

lapidot human au where lapis is the lifeguard of the public pool and peridot the grown ass adult going in floaties