#the messiest gay thing anon has done

[bisluthq]

hey, it’s the “I catfished pervy dudes for money as a young teenager” anon from a few days ago. I thought I’d explain just for shits and giggles bc who else am I gonna tell shit crazy shit to, honestly.

My friends and I used to go on omegle all the time as a joke. Saw way too many dicks on there at too young of an age. One time I saw a guy stick a drumstick up his ass and he used toothpaste as lube... yikes.

Anyways, I guess I just realized how easy it was to bait men. Also, in middle school, I had a lot of time on my hands and not many people to talk to. I used to go on omegle chat version, whisper, and other online forums, and make a baity post. The father you get into those sites, the easier it is. All I needed was a “18 F single. Come find me daddy ;)” or an “I’m a virgin” and my messages would be FLOODED.

Mainly I did two different types of catfishing.

The first type was the short term shit, where I would transfer the convo from the anonymous forum sites to Kik(text/chat app), which mostly everyone had then for some reason. I used to use pics of faces from the depths of google, but eventually I ended up making an alliance w this woman who willing let me use hers(a queen). After the face, they usually believe it. Also I had other tricks and things I would do, which would be too long to explain. So then I used to send them fake nudes and dirty talk, role play, whatever, and they would pay me. I charged for pics, more for a convo, etc. I did this PROLIFICALLY. probably more than my homework. They used to send me dick pics back (not that I asked. But at the time I didnt know dominatrix stuff existed so I was playing sub) and I kept them as trophies.

The second type was long term. I didn’t have very many of these. I would do similar things to before, except I would talk to these guys for a while. I would entertain all of their weird shit. They would send me money/ buy things from my amazon list. One time one guy bought me plane tickets for NO REASON and my 13 year old ass got freaked the fuck out.

Some people may say “you’re so gross for playing with their emotions” but a) I was too young to realize that this was anything more than a game tbh. It wasn’t real to me. I was a bored, lonely kid, looking for an outlet. Weird that that ended up being it, but. b) idk if those guys even had emotions.... if they were gonna treat ‘me’ like an object and a doll and worse, then idgafffff

It’s a bit comical though, considering how these men go on these apps to groom young girls but here I was grooming them.

but yeah, lmfao, that’s all for now. thanks for listening, nat and readers.

ANON THIS WAS SO FUCKING WILD YOU ARE A KWEEN!

[cooloddball]

JIB10 CLOSING CEREMONY ANALYSIS

for daisy anon

let me start by saying that I will forever analyse jib10 until the day i crack the code because this panel was the messiest these two have ever been (and we all know they are messy af). let it also be known that everytime i watch it, i cringe so hard i have to stop and then a few months later i go back and repeat the entire process. it’s like some sort of madness but that’s what cockles has done to us all.

PS. I'll be using two videos to analyze it since some angles are not visible in one video.

on to the closing ceremony ↓

the panel is over and what in the gay hell (as one of my followers would ask) is this moment? guys stop, no please don’t.

the entire cast present walks out with briana buckmaster beelining for jensen as usual. okay this is not a snide comment, they are actually besties and she’s often hanging around jensen during jib (re: jib8,jib9, jib10, sns) and that photo they took ladies in red giving off bi4bi energy. anyway I digress. now, as briana is hugging jensen misha seems like he’s lost and doesn’t know what to do with his hands until rob comes along and they hug (rob is so adorable i just want to squish is cheeks) the funniest thing about this situation is that no one goes to hug jared or anything. It’s rather odd don’t you think? 

anyway, back to cockles.  jensen looks over at robisha? giving each other some love and i think he just wants his man's attention again because he goes over to the fireworks thingy or whatever it’s called is throwing sparks and jensen with his whole chest and his cute little bowlegs stands in front of it to show off? I love this man but half the time i don’t know what he’s doing but he looks adorable doing it so i enjoy it. after his shennanigans, jensen turns to see if his husband is looking at him being goofy and all but at this point misha is busy talking with rob, rob’s hand is on misha’s shoulder and man is jensen not amused. this was so funny like dude chill, he’s just having a wee chat with rob, you know rob your straight (?)friend rob. dude is looking at them for a whole three seconds (yes i counted) like it’s getting creepy and both misha and rob are oblivious just chatting away. I was afraid he might go there and ask rob to back off but thank jack he didn’t because that stare was intense. I wish i could get a video taken from the other angle because i'd like to see what his face was doing.  it’s heartbreaking and funny and adorable all at the same time because jensen you are a grown ass man and a father of three and yes we understand you were extremely needy that particular day but let misha catch up with his friend for just a sec, jfc.

so jensen decides nope, nope that’s enough i can’t not have my man look at me so i’ll show him who he needs to be looking at. let me do something crazy so he starts walking off the stage and misha looks back at jared and says something. so as misha and jared chat away and try to figure out what is going on with the green eyed grasshopper, jensen goes ahead and sits on someone’s lap, yes, he sits on a fan in the audience. okay if that happened to me i’d probably d word because it’s jensen ross ackles sitting on my lap. I know he smells amazing and is sexy af i’d probably be stuck there like a koala and i wouldn’t let him go but i digress.

while jared is uncomfortably smiling wondering wtf is going on, misha is hiding his face in shame like nope sweetheart what are you doing? that’s not cool you know you can’t just be out there sitting on fan girls’ laps please stop. even jared is rubbing his forehead probably wondering wtf is wrong with his friend.

jensen starts to scream into the mic while looking at his colleagues on the stage and as he does that. misha moves from where he was standing right in front of jensen and goes down the stage to talk to daniela.

meanwhile jared is still rubbing his head like what is happening? everyone else is laughing but jared is surprised that misha has left he seems confused???  And so am i because wtf jensen? misha? can you two just be normal like for once? you are 40+ year oldmen acting like teenagers with a crush like tf? okay i love to see it but also it’s so cringey i can’t keep up. jensen looks over at misha and daniela and when he sees that misha is going back on stage, he gets off the fan too but misha goes to stand at the very end of the line next to jason manns. it looks like jensen is beelining for misha but i think he decides against it since he's the mc and he has to stand in the middle of the room. at this moment i would like us to take a moment of silence for jensen for having to keep it together while working very closely with misha for all those years. i mean if he’s behaving like this in public in front of thousands of fans what was he like on set? i know i’m needy when it comes to relationships but i feel like he’s needier. let’s take another moment of silence for misha for having to deal with a needy/bratty jensen ross ackles for over a decade.

idk what jared is telling rob but rob is laughing while looking at jensen who is walking towards them on stage. it’s all good between rob and jensen. of course no one can stay mad at rob for over a minute he’s too damn adorable. NB: I don’t think jensen was mad at rob for talking to misha i just think he was feeling abandoned by his man so he got a little desperate and did what he did as described above.

there’s a flying unicorn (steve is that you?) and surprse jensen kicks it as usual *eye roll* what did unicorns ever do to him?

he is finally done with his shenanigans and starts the closing ceremony. now what stands out here is the way he introduces people. so he starts with rich who is the second person to his right, then after he goes ahead to introduce jason manns who is at the far end of the line next to misha. i mean he leaves out rob who is closest to him and adam fergus who is standing between rich and jason. now what's more interesting is his pitch of voice when he introduces them that makes it sus. anyway…the way misha is looking at jensen here is just so...heart eyes. he has an ear to ear grin and he’s just looking at jensen so adorably like c’mon jensen just said jason manns and that was enough to make misha happy. like am i missing something or? so when jason is called, he playfully hides behind misha and misha just looks at jensen and jensen looks at him and it’ so funny because this is so funny to me.

the way jensen and misha look at each other here…it’s just s funny because like guys you just had a whole hour of shennanigans together tf? and it goes on for 3 seconds as well like ??? in retrospect, jensen could’ve been looking at jason but since he was so close to misha i’ll just assume it’s misha because misha was also looking at him.

the way he announces misha’s name like sir are you okay? do you need to be that loud? dlso did he just moan? i heard a mmh...ahh somewhere in there but maybe it’s just me. the way he’s looking at misha guys i want to hide this is so…i can’t look. jensen hasn’t taken his eyes off him for 5 seconds now like can someone help him? they are looking at each other i’m crying because i am feeling so many things all at once.

it’s funny how even though he announces adam fergus the same way he announced misha, he barely looks at him. like i know they are friends but it’s just the difference between how he looks at misha and the way he looks at adam. i gagged.

so he goes ahead and introduces everyone else and he barely looks at them which is a glaring omission considering how he was behaving earlier when it came to misha. he doesn’t even look at jared. i don’t think i have enough expletives for the feelings i have rn because i’m reeling. jensen is intentionally looking away from jared while misha and jason are busy talking about jensen and whatever is happening at that moment probably something like “he looks done” and jason agrees because they laugh.

jensen also doesn’t look at briana once. also what’s even funnier he looks so done like he’s rolling his eyes? Idk what’s up with that but… he goes on to introduce everyone else without even a glance.

now it’s finally his turn to be introduced and what happens next is so surreal i had to watch it in slow motion. so jared who is right behind jensen reaches out as if reach for jensen’s hand? which is awkward because jensen is standing like a statue his hands holding the mic in a defensive way like he doesn’t want to be touched. even when jared introduces him he has to push him like he’s a boulder stone being rolled down  a hill. i thought i'm dramatic but jensen is on another level because wtf is he doing? is he that done with the whole situation or jared for his bs earlier in the panel that he doesn’t want to even be near him? i could be wrong but it’s just a glaring difference between how he was with jason, rob, rich, and misha and how he’s acting with jared. nothing to see here just the jivorce simmering like a volcano under the jibcon floorboards. idk what i’m saying so i’ll just walk away now.

look at that grin on misha’s face. aww :) you can ‘t hide love can you? he’s so happy to see jensen like that’s his man and even if he was  bratting the whole panel he just loves him so much. what’s even more adorable is that after jensen blows a kiss to the fans he turns to look at misha and they look at each other. in a room of people all i see is you. i’m not crying you are. literally i’m crying because they are so adorkable i can’t cope bobo do you have any other advise to deal with beautiful gay situations please?

but i’m about to spoil that sweet moment because as he's looking at his blue-eyed cutie patootie jared is in the back spanking his ass like can you not sir? jensen doesn’t even react to that because he’s still looking at misha and walking in reverse back to his position. i think he didn’t want to have to see jared’s face. jk but no seriously that’s what happened. jared still can’t read the room because he’s now tapping jensen’s shoulder. jensen still isn’t paying him  any mind. This is get too painful and embarrassing to watch, like jared stop, you are embarrassing yourself. oh god now he’s touching both jensen and briana. jensen has to bend so jared lets go of him like how embarrassing is that? jared's whole body is turned towards jensen but jensen is facing towards daniela paying him no mind like why is he still doing this to himself? It’s too cringe to watch.

so finally jensen puts his arm around jared’s neck since they are both hugging daniela but he still hasn’t looked at him once. 

so daniela says that there will be another jib and you know what jensen does?he fucking looks over at misha . he even raises his  eyebrows like ‘do you hear that babe? we will always have rome.’ but misha’s not looking at him so the momentpasses. adam fergus is laughing in the background and jensen is just waiting for his babe to acknowledge him but misha is minding his own business. he looks at misha for 6 seconds . from here to here. wow.

intermission -> i have  seen posts about this moment that mentioned that jensen was glaring at adam for talking to misha and that’s why he was looking that way but that’s not the case because when adam and misha were chatting away, jensen didn’t see it because he was busy hugging daniela so that’s not what happened. he was looked over at misha after daniela mentioned that they should have another jib. but i could be wrong so… moving on.

finally jensen spares jared a glance but it only lasts a second. adam makes a joke, jared and jensen thank daniela. It’s over.

after the closing ceremony jensen takes misha to the loading dock, pins him to the wall, kisses the hell out of him and takes that gay ass selfie before he leaves for dubai/australia.

okay okay i have an idea as to why jensen said he would’ve loved to have slept in while staring longingly at misha, why he was bratty during the panel and why they took that selfie it’s nothing big it’s just that maybe the previous night they didn’t get to spend enough time together for obvious reasons and they had to wake up early and spend the entire day at the con centre and hence he was being so bratty because he wanted all of misha’s attention because he knew he wouldn’t see him again in like a month or so. but again, i'm just speculating.

[thedreadvampy]

Like idk what you want from me here. If you want to engage me in a specific question about ace/aro identities, as I've said several times and nobody has ever actually done, then ask me the specific question. Don't fuck around with vague gestures at Points of Discourse and then get cross with me because I haven't answered the Exact Question you Didn't Ask But Expected Me To Intuit.

Preface: If you don't want to answer any of these because you are allo/allo and don't have a say because its not your place, say that. In fact, I'm asking these because you seem to do have opinions on things you shouldn't based off things you have said in the past.

I also want to state that I agree fully with your points about Martin- minus the blatant aphobia. Not just acephobia, arophobia as well.

1. Do you think qprs are problematic? I believe you once made a post saying roughly that qprs are just normal friendships, or something like that, that has since been deleted. What is your current opinion?

2. Are het aros lgbt?

3. Are het aces lgbt?

4. Cis aro/aces lgbt?

5. Cishet aro/aces?

6. Do the spectrums and micro identities exist? You've implied in the past they don't, in the post about how they were supposedly created from sex positivity

7. Can aros be in or desire romantic relationships?

8. Can aces have or desire sex?

9. Does the split attraction model exist and does it benefit people?

10. Can teenagers identify as aro/ace or do you think they're too young?

11. Can you be, say, an aroace lesbian, or an aroace gay, aroace bi, etc. Idk how to phrase this one but like can you be aroace and still id with another orientation?

I could send another anon detailing the aphobia in the post, because I at least am certainly not upset about Martin being sexual, rather it was the very blatant aphobia. It could have stemmed from ignorance, and if that's the case I don't mind explaining it.

Ok this is a lot of questions, some with quite involved answers, so I'm gonna answer them chunk by chunk so it's a bit more manageable, and then I might come back to some of the surrounding message. This isn't gonna be an immediate bang bang bang, but I'll try and work through them over the next couple of days.

Question 1

1. No, I don't think qprs are problematic. I don't necessarily understand them but I don't need to understand them to understand and respect that they're a thing that's important to a lot of people. I don't know what post you're referring to, but I'm surprised that you say it was deleted, because I very rarely delete posts except, occasionally, reblogs where people have flagged up misinformation or dogwhistles or which I reblogged by accident. tbh I'm the messiest online presence I'm way too lazy to delete past posts or block people even when I probably should bc I don't like to feel like I'm ~hiding evidence~. So I'm not saying you're wrong, you're probably totally right, but I'm surprised.

I'm thinking about what posts I've made that you could be thinking of, and obviously I don't remember everything I say on here bc I say A Lot and I actively post to get things out of my head so 🤷‍♀️ but I do remember making a post a while ago where I said that it was a normal expectation of friendship to have some friends close enough that you'll live with them, raise kids with them, etc, and I'm wondering if that was the post you're thinking of? I did have qprs in mind while writing that to a degree, but only because I think 'you wouldn't do this with your friends' is a very common argument people put forward about qprs and I think it's a weak argument, because many people have different definitions of friendship, and the only argument I think is needed for any sort of I Have X Emotional Relationship To This Thing is...I Have X Emotional Relationship To This Thing. Like you can't offer a universal materialist definition of the differences between romantic, queerplatonic, sexual and platonic relationships, because the boundaries are very personal and it's really an emotional and experiential difference. so if that is the post you're thinking of, I wasn't criticising The Concept Of QPRs as much as saying that I thought trying to put hard lines around What Friends Do Vs What QPPs Do was a) counterproductive when arguing with someone who thinks QPR is Just Normal Friendships bc. if they do those things with their friends then saying NO THIS IS A QPR THING just reinforces their existing belief that you're talking about the same thing as they mean by friendships and b) to me seems to set a painful expectation to young people that you can only get these kinds of close friendships occasionally and in the form of a QPR and it will be stigmatised and misunderstood (and depending on how people talk about it, is only accessible to aspec people and allo people should only expect it to come through romantic/sexual relationships), when in fact most people of most ages I know have friends with whom they can share things like housing, deep feelings, futures, finances, who they miss if they don't see for a few days, who are mutually supportive and vital to their wellbeing. I don't think that's mutually exclusive with the existence of QPRs though - like I personally don't know what the difference is between a QPR and a close friendship, but I also don't know what the difference is between a romantic relationship and a close friendship but I know there is one and I know it's not a question of What You Do but a question of How You Feel And Interact, and that's pretty hard to define in unambiguous terms.

Like generally I don't Not Think QPRs exist, and I think it's a dick move to try and tell people they're wrong about how they experience and define their relationships because???? how are you meant to know that better than the person whose relationship it is??? but I do think the way people talk about QPRs (both from the perspective of defending them and from the perspective of attacking them) is pretty rife with problems and I don't think it's invalidating the reality of QPRs to talk about where the arguments and language around them potentially falls down or has unexpected consequences.

On the other hand, I don't know if that actually is the post you're referring to - the reason I'm calling back to that is that that and a few resultant asks are the only time I remember talking about QPRs on here in the last year or so. So like, several of these questions reference past posts, which is very fair, but I do need it to be clear that, since I don't really tag anything and I don't have a great memory, I can only really speak to What I Think Now In This Context, not to what I posted in the past and what I was thinking when I posted it. Like, this isn't too deny responsibility - I reckon I'm responsible for what I post even if I don't still agree with it, which is why I don't tend to delete my own posts on purpose - but just to deny capacity, I guess? I don't really KNOW what I've posted so if you talk about it in vague terms (and I do understand that if it's been deleted there's not a lot you can do but that) I may not necessarily be responding to the part of it that's worried you, so if I'm not speaking to something specific I've said or done, it's not because I Don't Want To, I just don't necessarily know to.

I'm waffling about this because looking through your messages there's a lot of "you said X" and like. given that the intended message of the post that's kicked this off was very different to the message people have taken from it, it feels important to me to know whether if I looked at the posts you're referencing I'd be like "ah yeah I did believe that but now I believe X" or if it's more a situation of "oh right I can see how you took X from that but my thinking was more Y".

(also sometimes when people say "you made a post" they mean "you reblogged a post" and I am a compulsive discourse scroller so sometimes I reblog a random post to bookmark my place on someone's discourse blog or I accidentally longpress the reblog button while scrolling - I try to delete reblogs that I don't agree with but sometimes I miss some, all of which to say if there's a post on my blog that doesn't seem to reflect what I say in my original posts then it doesn't necessarily mean I'm a crypto-whatever so much as I'm very lazy and messy with my blog. Doesn't mean I shouldn't be held accountable for reblogs but it's useful to know if we're talking original content or reblogs bc I'm unlikely to fully accidentally make a post. but I quite often accidentally reblog stuff. I doubt this is the case with this sitch just bc of your phrasing but I want to cover my bases)

anyway tl;dr: no I don't believe that QPRs themselves are inherently problematic, nor do I think I have at any point believed that, but I do think that a lot of the language and ideas used to talk about them are based in miscommunication or absolutist ideas about relationships and can have damaging knock on effects.

[bisluthq]

honestly nobody let TTB find out about my parents 💀. she'd definitely exploit their story to try to prove that kaylor is real which I would find really disrespectful. but basically I found out at age 18 that my mom is a lesbian and that my dad is gay and that they're essentially beards. except not really though because their marriage is real and they're actual friends and chose to be parents together. I'm their biological kid. they're just like... platonic spouses, I guess. they don't see anybody else on the side either.

I remember noticing growing up that they'd never kiss, not even on the cheek, barely ever hug each other, hell they don't even sit directly next to each other on the couch. they leave like a noticeable gap, they don't cuddle up to each other or anything.

for the first year or so that they were living in their own house, they even used to sleep in separate beds in separate rooms, but then my mom said other family members found out and kept asking if they were having issues, so they sleep in the same bed now

my mom has never dated a woman in her life which I find really sad. and she always insists she doesn't even have any female celeb crushes or anything, even though I can tell she does. she likes that female personal trainer from that one reality show lol, idk if anyone knows who I'm talking about but she's like middle aged and I think she's married to a woman, but my mom pretends she hates her and will make a big deal talking about how "strange" she finds her.

my dad had a secret boyfriend for years in high school, but he ended up breaking up with him, and he and my mom got married in their early 20s. I just find it sad tbh because you can tell they're not really happy with their lives, especially since I moved out recently

like both of them definitely have bad internalized homophobia, especially my dad. my mom literally changes the channel whenever ellen or any other open lesbian is on TV, even if it's just a fictional character, because it makes her feel uncomfortable (her words). the only exception is that female personal trainer lmao, but she'll account for it by constantly talking about how "unusual" it is that she's married to a woman.

pride parades make her uncomfortable too. she gets really confused about why some people are so open about being gay which I understand because it must seem so strange for her since she was essentially pressured into marrying a man and keeping quiet about her actual identity

my dad has a toxic masculinity problem and refuses to do certain things because "it's gay" (said with disdain). except he literally is gay so... where's the logic. idk. he's always going on about how "it's only okay to be gay if you fight it and don't give in, it's like a battle that only strong men can win" and he prides himself on not "acting on it". they were both raised in conservative families and were taught that being gay is wrong and that it's not okay to act on it :/

anyway there's something ironic about two gay people getting hetero married and having a kid together, and their kid ending up gay too lol... and even more ironically, I haven't told them bc I'm not sure if they'll be accepting or not. they might tell me to do what they did and marry a dude, but I'd hope they wouldn't

side note, I wonder if this is how javanka are lmao

I mean yeah this shit happens that’s always my point it’s just not how TTB and co frame shit. Like yes people have weird complex dynamics and issues.

Javanka are almost definitely some kind of weird platonic marriage right.

Joshlie are not lol they can’t keep their hands off each other. Swiftwyn are not lol she would fall from grace just to help him get off lol.

But yes these things happen.

Your parents clearly love one another in their own way and obviously adore you and I’m hopeful they’ll support you coming out even if not immediately 😘

[bisluthq]

I used to google lesbian porn and spend hours watching super long videos of women kissing each other and like humping each other etc and I didn’t know how to delete my history THOROUGHLY and I did this on my laptop (I was also like 11 at the time) so I would spend hours just watching these videos and I ended up getting a virus on my laptop and I had to tell my parents so the first time it happened I just said that it was a virus from clicking something by mistake. I didn’t stop watching the videos, and I kept having the google auto fill thinks come up so say for example someone typed in like “Facebook” it would suggest like “women fuck on couch” and I had to tell my parents a few times that this was happening but I’d always say it was I accidentally opened a spam email or something.

Now there’s a bit more to this. The last time this happened my friend had a personal situation and the police had to take my laptop for evidence to read a message she’d sent me, and I was panicking because I was like “oh god, the cops have technology they can probably look at all my porn history” so I tried to tell them not to take my laptop by saying “I have a virus!” And they said it was fine they’d get around that with all their fancy cop technology and it freaked me out so much I never watched porn on a laptop ever again (even to this day) because all I could think about was the cops finding I was watching lesbian porn at 11 years old. Now I think about if my parents have realised those “viruses” were my own doing because I was watching wlw porn since I came out a few years ago 💀

LMAO THIS WAS SO FUNNY AND THE COP TWIST WAS MY FAVE DUDE THEY HAVE SEEN IT ALL THEY DO NOT CARE.

Man I feel like you’re significantly younger than me tho because when I was 11 in the year 2004 it didn’t occur to me to Google porn and tbh I’m sure that’s a good thing for my parents coz they also would’ve been dealing with some nasty ass viruses on... what was then the home PC...

[bisluthq]

I'm a straight, but my type of messy is that I have a history of unreciprocated crushes on bi/queer girls who rarely if ever want to actually date men. KStew is totally my doomed type. I don't want to unpack what that means about me.

I don’t either bro get help.

[bisluthq]

label journey: i identified as straight for a while bc i thought that being gay was a sin and i was just too young to be feeling the inevitable attraction to men. then my best friend came out to me as bi, and i started thinking that maybe it wasn’t a sin to be gay because this friend was lovely. well, around that time i thought i was either straight or ace, but i was so desperate for this friend to think i was cool and spend more time that i “fake” came out as bi to her - spoiler alert, if you’re so obsessed with a girl that you’re willing to fake come out as bi just to impress her and get her to spend more time with you, that coming out is probably not as fake as you think. then a few months later i felt undeniable attraction to this one girl when we held hands during prayer at church lol, so i started actually identifying as bi. then for a while i identified as pan, then queer with a strong preference for women. then i managed to convince myself that i was actually straight for a long while, but then something happened that made me realize that nope! definitely not straight. then i started identifying as a lesbian, and that’s where we’re at the moment. i still think there’s a chance that i’m bi, and i really want to hook up with a guy when college goes back to in person just to see what it’s like and hopefully that’ll help me clarify if i’m bi or les.

gender wise, my labels went from woman to I HATE GENDER I AM NOTHING to tentatively woman again (during that period of time when i convinced myself i was straight lol), and now we’re at nb woman. like if you were to plot it on a chart, it’s somewhere in between no gender and woman. its weird but it works! i’m happy with where i’m at gender wise. sexuality label i’m still very much questioning bc i think i might be a tiny bit bisexual but homo-romantic ?? but for now lesbian is what i’m using because yeah.

EEEEK @swiftgron-get-married and I were talking about the gayest shit we’ve ever pulled the other day and I’m sorry but CONVINCING YOURSELF YOU ARE FAKE COMING OUT TO SUPPORT YOUR FRIEND WINS EVERY AWARD LMAOOOOOOO.

That is SO gay and SO DUMB (/affectionate).

Love your story and enjoy the next few years of figuring it out ❤️❤️❤️

[bisluthq]

you know when people mean well but they always accidentally phrase things in a problematic way? 😭 well when I came out, my grandad was really mad and started insulting me and being a douchebag, and my grandma began passionately defending me and then yelled "IF MY GRANDDAUGHTER WANTS TO BE A DYKE, SHE CAN BE A DYKE" at the top of her lungs. she's in her 70s btw 💀

and I went over to hug her and she was comforting me and was like in this reassuring gentle tone, "listen hannah, I really don't understand why you want to be a homosexual lesbian when there are so many nice good looking boys out there, but if you really want to be that way, I'll support you"

and then my grandad was like "why are you encouraging this?! she's going against jesus"

my grandma goes back to arguing like "BUT THAT'S HER CHOICE. if she wants to choose to become a lesbian, even though the bible says it's a sin, then that's. her. choice. and besides, she can find a nice christian girl? there must be at least one other christian girl here that wants to give lesbianism a try"

I'm paraphrasing a lot and missing a few less relevant parts out but the conversation after that went something like this:

grandad: "but why would you choose to become a lesbian hannah, I don't understand, what's wrong with you!!"

grandma: "so what if it's wrong, maybe she got bored of men or can't find a nice man and that's why she decided to become gay, you don't know what happened. maybe a man was inappropriate with her and put her off men. that's men's fault, not hers"

me: "well... it's not that I chose to be gay, I've always been like this, I can't help it"

grandma: "no sweetheart that's not true, you weren't gay as a baby, something made you become gay and it was men's rotten behavior. but like I said, if you want to be a sinner, then I'll still love you, just like I'd still love you if you were a murderer"

and then they argued a bit more and my grandad eventually got mad and went upstairs to his bedroom and I went to go and buy groceries with my grandma

💀. I feel like my grandma would totally get cancelled for some of the stuff like this that she says and people would be really mad at her, but she genuinely does mean well. I think some people just don't know all the correct terminology and are misinformed on things. but it's all just very funny to me each time she says stuff like this, I love her lol

Your granny sounds SO CUTE and well meaning. It’s st00pid to try cancel old people man like especially if they try.

My one granny is also very, “well most men are horrible and obviously your boyfriends turned you gay. You should’ve let us set you up with someone nice. I had that boy I wanted you to meet when you were 18 but you dated that other idiot-” the one who helped me crack it lol, “and you wasted the opportunity.”

My other granny I think is a lowkey lesbian/cowboy like me because when I told her the response was, “why would you think that?” And I was like, “women are just more attractive to me tbh” and this bitch goes, “well yeah obviously women are more attractive” and I was like “yeah but like granny I mean sexually” and she was like “well yeah obviously penises are super disgusting so what’s your point?”

I think there have always been SO MANY FLUID PEOPLE who just.... didn’t act on it. And tbh people who sucked it up and comphetted and didn’t even realize that’s what they were doing.

Anyway your grandpa sucks but your granny is PRECIOUS 🥺

[bisluthq]

messiest gay thing got with this girl from a gay club and we couldn’t go back to our uni rooms bc sleeping flatmates so we went and had sex on the top of a hill by a castle and also ran into two gay men doing the same thing nearby lmao they were like putting on their clothes as we showed up truly peak gay lesbian solidarity. ive also made out with 10+ girls in one night and had sex in more nightclub toilets than id like to admit

LOVING the wlw x mlm solidarity you were able to establish and support.

You sound like a messy kween and I stan.

I have never ever made out with 10+ girls in one night, that just sounds like v chaotic and a lot to process but I SO RESPECT IT.

[bisluthq]

My ex and I used to make out in a bathroom of an abandoned uni building. Like full on the sink counter, clothes everywhere etc etc. We didn't know that they added a lecture in that building so one day we're going at it and a prof walks into the bathroom. And in that moment my lime green bra is being thrown across the room. Prof stares at us, I'm there with my boobs out. Prof goes "WELL NOW." and leaves so damn quickly 😂 we never went there again

AMAZING LMAO

[bisluthq]

Dearest Rep,

The humor is honestly a defense mechanism. I prolly will down a few cursed old-fashioneds when it all actually hits me. Thank you for listening.

PS: love the blog. I ship Taylor with happiness so I like that you take a pretty objective stance with humor. We’re all clowning around here, after all.

Aw babe you deserve the old fashioneds and fuck her (or like... stop fucking her).

Thank you for your kind words and keep us updated because I think you have a community of humans now pissed at this bitch lmao 😆

Sending you so much love 💕

[bisluthq]

Dearest Rep,

I present to you my Gay/Bi Mess shenanigans: I came upon your blog because the woman I was seeing in 2020 until, oh, YESTERDAY is a Gaylor. She all but gave me a TED talk on why Taylor Swift is a Lesbian. This happened the weekend Evermore came out and she texted me “It is a blessed time to be a Gaylor”. Entertaining for sure, but my response was “Bisexual people exist, you know. You are one of them, in fact”. Except, I started to be on the fence about whether TED talk Gaylor Woman considered herself bi/pan/fluid/et al for a couple reasons (at this point, I do believe she is not exclusively into women.)

She has a type: witty, touch-starved neurodivergent nerds with curly hair and bubble butts (I fit the bill but have been the only female in the picture). I have known her since I was 12 but we were only mutual acquaintances. We hooked up under dubious circumstances when I was 16 and she was 20. I was fresh off a breakup where my ex’s family scapegoated me as the root of all her mental health problems (I certainly didn’t help because we brought out the worst in each other as two flawed people who loved each other as sincerely as they were able as they were which wasn’t healthy because WE weren’t healthy). We reconnected in 2020 (August, incidentally).

She was having an Illicit Affair with me all the while. I was well aware and went back and forth between how guilty I felt about it. I was starting to think that I was the Getaway Car. I did not feel good about it but realistically? I did not have a leg to stand on. She has patched things up with her boyfriend and we were going to try being a triad (he is truly a great guy who I vibe with and she did him so dirty with my help) but I’ve come to realize that her and I are not compatible anyways. This realization came from seeing the difference when I saw a chance with someone who actually is my type. I blew that chance already but sometimes one just needs to live and learn.

I am currently wallowing in self-loathing but it’s fine. This is fine. Now I have a better idea of just *how* much work I have to do on myself.

I reread this several times because I know it’s part of a silly series but like. I’m so sorry.

Breakups are rough especially with someone older and confusing and... kinda manipulative sounding idk.

Also the fact that this messy bi lady decided to belieb in Everlasting Gold Star Kay is mad funny but also not. Idk. I’m just... so so sorry.

We’re all sending you love and good vibes anon 💜

PS You’re dealing with this with a lot of humor which is great but you’re absolutely allowed to drink a bottle+ of wine solo and sad cry to Adele.

[bisluthq]

I was a huge tomboy as a kid but I had 20 year old kidsitter who hung out with me when my parents were gone. She was really feminine and I had HUGE crush on her. My parents were confused why I was suddenly super into cooking and watching rom-coms and doing each others makeup when that kidsitter was around. Well, those evenings felt like romantic dates to me and I was heartbroken when she got a boyfriend. I was like.. 8

LOL THAT IS SO SO FUCKING GAY.

[bisluthq]

"as an ally" was LITERALLY ME before I realized I was bi. All my life I was like "yas gay rights but not me because I can't be because I wasn't raised to see myself that way" until one day I kissed a girl and uncovered all my buried memories when I thirsted after girls 😂

Ooooooppppp.

[bisluthq]

omg I’ve tried the shower head thing and it just doesn’t do anything for me at all (...) // embarrassing oversharing story time 💀 my family and I went on holiday and we stayed in this villa. none of the windows had curtains and none of the doors had locks. I was in the ensuite bathroom of the room that my parents were staying in and there was a detachable showerhead. I was like 16 and we'd never had one at home so like... you get the idea. I was curious bc I'd heard girls talking and making jokes about it before

my parents had both gone out for dinner at this restaurant in the local area and so I was alone and thought I was in the clear

anyway like 10 mins later, the door opens and I see my dad, we make awkward eye contact and then he SHRIEKS, I kid you not it was so high-pitched and he usually has a fairly deep voice lol. he then immediately covers his eyes and spins around to face the open door while I just freeze

and then, still facing the open door, he's like "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN HERE"

and I'm like "I'M TAKING A SHOWER, PLEASE GO"

he left the bathroom and closed the door. I was so embarrassed that I stayed in there for a good 15 more minutes before I got the courage to come out, and by that time he was gone

it turns out that my dad had left his phone in the bedroom of the villa, and so had just come back from the restaurant to get it

and... yeah, it was very awkward after my parents came back from the restaurant later that night.

I was hiding in my bedroom, didn't even come down to see them. my mom ended up coming to talk to me in my bedroom and was like "listen baby it's normal for you to do these things but don't do them in our bathroom next time, I think you've traumatized dad" and we had a bit of a laugh about that but really I was dying inside.

and then she started asking me if I had a boyfriend and all those kinds of sexual questions that moms tend to ask and so I literally just hid my head under the blanket and refused to answer until she laughed and left

that was enough to put me off EVER trying that again, I get flashbacks whenever I see a detachable showerhead 😩

LMAO I DO NOT EVEN KNOW WHAT YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION IS BUT Y’ALL KNOW WHICH TAG THIS WILL GET FILED IN YOU MESSY ASS KWEEN

[bisluthq]

does flirting over text with a girl whilst being sort of secretly felt up by a male teacher count? (for the record at this point i was not in any of his classes and never going to be again lol)

EEK ANON I SCREAMED THAT WAS A JOURNEY AND YES YOU CHAOTIC KWEEN THIS FUCKING COUNTS