#the memory is from when i was 18-ish months we believe

[clanoffelidae]

-smashes head through a wall- do you think hive insects still retain a sense of individuality

obviously not in the same way we do but i have a memory from before i had a sense of self, yes it’s as weird to recall as you imagine, and even before i actually had the sense of ‘I Am’ i still had an awareness of my body as being separate from the world around me so do you think hive insects still retain that in relation to the rest of their hive or do they see the hive as a singular ‘body’ unit they just can’t feel all of

[randomwilmonfan]

I'd love to talk more about the locker room scene in S2 E2 of Young Royals, where Wilhelm tries to convince Simon to get back together with him, in the process (sadly) demonstrating that he believes his mother's feeble offer to "talk" about him possibly coming out when he's 18. This takes place after his almost-removal from Hillerska.

Plenty of people have already pointed out how Henry snitched on Wille and Felice’s kiss, but apparently didn’t choose to tell anyone (as far as we’re aware) about Wilhelm almost pleading with Simon to get back together with him during that post-almost-dragged-out-of-Hillerska conversation. And that's definitely an interesting thing to chew on. But there's more...

Here are a few other things that stand out to me too:

First -

I think it’s worth pointing out the obvious — Wilhelm clearly sees Simon in his future long-term (possibly for the rest of his life). The way he casually says to Simon “So, we’d only have to keep it a secret for 2 years” implies three things very clearly.

a) He immediately and easily sees himself together with Simon in 2 years and beyond. Actually, specifically, definitely beyond. Because his eye is on the prize: coming out and living openly with Simon *after* he turns 18 — implying his focus is entirely on the intended afterwards period. He doesn’t even blink at that idea; it’s obvious to him.

b) He also really doesn’t seem to think 2 years is a big deal. For a teenager who’s only lived 16 years on this planet (only approximately ~11-ish of them in a state where they’re forming conscious memories) to think 2 years is just a drop in the bucket is kind of wild. Even 6 months feels like forever to a kid. So Wilhelm — a child — viewing time from this perspective suggests he’s likely balancing 2 years out against a much longer expanse of time; hence why those 24 months would look so minuscule and shrug-worthy by comparison. In other words: he sees himself with Simon in the LONG long term. Two years is nothing if you’re imagining growing old with someone and spending the rest of your many decades on this Earth with them. (All of this is pretty much confirmed later on in S2, when Wilhelm offers to abdicate the throne for Simon.)

c) He also doesn’t seem to think Simon should be appalled by the idea of waiting for 2 years. Yes, sure, we can chalk part of that up to selfishness and lack of mentalization / empathy for Simon’s point of view. But I’m going to suggest it’s more than that. My takeaway is that he assumes Simon also sees them as endgame, and so naturally wouldn’t be bothered by waiting a bit longer in order to spend forever together. (Sadly the conversation does not play out that way for him; ouch. Though no shade to Simon: what he said in response was realistic and fair.)

Second -

I think we have to rewatch his interactions with Simon as Henry slams a door and slowly walks past them with a raised eyebrow. Because, in S1, that Wilhelm would have immediately jumped away from Simon to create distance and try to pretend there’s plausible deniability about what their relationship has been and could be again. That’s (one) part of the whole point of S1: Wilhelm is not ready to be brave enough to face a homophobic aristocratic world and take a bold stance to stand by Simon.

Instead, in S2 E2, he sits still. He stays right next to Simon. In fact, he *leaves his hand resting directly on Simon’s thigh.* And he knows someone is coming their way! He heard the door slam inside the locker room. Obviously he knows someone else is here. But he doesn’t jump. He actually doesn’t really stir much at all.

He sits there like it’s of no importance, and he doesn’t care who sees. Or, even, who overheard this very intimate, vulnerable, and pleading conversation. A conversation in which the future King of their country is almost on the verge of begging his ex to please be his again… not just for now, but for multiple years’ time. I mean we’re like 2 steps away from Wille practically offering Simon a “promise ring” (not sure if that concept holds up in Europe, but it’s basically a very pre-engagement type thing in the US; it’s not common though). (Their convo also makes it very clear Simon was the one who dumped him and that he’s having trouble accepting that and moving on.)

Yet he doesn’t seem perturbed or disturbed by Henry’s presence and overhearing and seeing them. He doesn’t seem embarrassed at all. He’s not ashamed of his love for Simon. Even more specifically, he’s not afraid of people (Henry) seeing him put his heart out on the line, and of them knowing that he wants Simon back - not for just a hook-up, but for a very long-term, serious, committed relationship. And he doesn’t make any moves to emotionally or physically distance himself from Simon, despite Henry’s clear witnessing of this private moment.

This is a subtle way to show that, even though Wille hasn't yet gone through his full S2 journey of self-awareness and self-growth, he has still already begun changing and growing after the end of S1. So he’s at least started to learn some of his lessons about what he needs to do differently.

Anyhoo, the whole point I’m trying to make is… gosh there were so many fascinating things happening in that scene. And they rush right past us in the blink of an eye! But there is so much meaning built into every small interaction and non-interaction there, and into every nonchalant assumption the characters casually voice.

I’m sure there’s more meaning and are more details I missed, too! What did you think? I’d love to learn more from others’ perspectives, too. :)

[dreaming-marchling]

5 & 18!

5. first sentence of the fifth paragraph of an unpublished WIP

Magnus sighed, “You’re right, Alec. My sincere apologies. Refresh my memory so I don’t violate any other agreements, what did we decide on boudoir photos?”

18. if you keep them, share a deleted sentence or paragraph from a published fic

I wasn't sure if I actually had anything for this but I started hunting at the bottom of documents and here's a scene that was lurking at the bottom of Across the Lonely Decades. I have no recollection why it was cut (too pessimistic maybe?) and it abruptly cuts off mid-sentence lol but here you go:

---

“Five more nights,” Magnus whispered into Alec’s hair as they laid curled up in bed together.

It felt like too much and not enough at the same time. “I’m trying not to get my heart too set on that.”

“Tomorrow we’ll all sit down and talk out what the gameplan is but for tonight, I promise you I’m as confident as I can be.” Magnus tried to reassure him.

Alec’s first thought was an asshole-ish one that he wouldn’t actually ask: were you confident the first time you tried to travel back in time? The time where it hadn’t worked. He just felt sort of off and nervous and he wanted to know. He was tired of the guess work of it this stupid spell was going to work or not.

Magnus was doing something unprecedented, he reminded himself yet again. He couldn’t know. There was no knowing. There was only hoping.

“I won’t miss this mattress.” Alec said instead.

That got him a quiet chuckle, “Nor will I. If you had asked me a month ago if I had truly gotten used to electricity, I would have said no. Now I’m finding that I miss it. It’s just so thoughtlessly easy. Not great for ambiance but having the option for either is suddenly more welcome than ever before.”

“I miss the noise.” Alec agreed.

“Spoken like a true New Yorker.” Magnus scoffed playfully.

Alec laughed because he was supposed to but the disquiet was still under his skin. It picked at him, it made his fingers flex restlessly and for the first time since his Magnus had come to him, Alec wanted to take up his bow and practice until his fingers bled. He wanted the little bite of pain that made him feel like he was alive and real and in control.

He wouldn’t. He knew it didn’t help. They would either be home in less than a week or they wouldn’t. Him bleeding wasn’t going to change that.

“Talk to me, darling.” Magnus murmured into the darkness.

Two different Magnus Banes, both saw through whatever poker face he tried to put up.

“Just nervous.” Alec shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal.

Tell me we’re going to be okay. Tell me we’re going to make it home. Tell me Ragnor will be waiting for us when we get there. Tell me I’ll never get thrown back in time again.

Maybe Magnus heard some of that. If he had then Alec felt badly about it. He wasn’t the one losing a friend he’d loved for centuries. He also wasn’t the one who had all the work coming up. Alec only had to bleed a little and they all knew he was good for that. It was Magnus who was going to have to administer potions, delve into their minds and hide away memories. It was Magnus who was going to have to draw the pentagram and all those precise symbols. It was Magnus who was going to have to get them home.

And it was Magnus who was going to have to walk away from his friend knowing he wasn’t ever going to see him again.

Alec had it easy. If this had been three months ago, he would have been able to handle it without flinching, without letting on that he was affected at all.

He was so done.

“We’re going to be all right. We’re going home.” Magnus promised him.

They both knew that neither of those things might end up being true.

Magnus shifted around until he hovered over Alec. “We’re going home, Alec. I know the failed attempt the first time was hard, hard for both of us, but I know what I’m doing now. We know what we’re doing now. We’re going home.”

Alec sighed. He felt bad for being such a mess. “I believe in you, Magnus. I always do. I’m just tired, that’s all.”

A kiss was dropped onto his forehead, “I know, love.”

He wanted to talk to Magnus about all the worries in his head but he knew those worries were in Magnus’ head too. It was the same conversations over and over again. Ragnor and time and worrying that the spell didn’t actually have a viable reverse. What if they returned to the future to find it changed because they’d forgotten something? It was just a lot.

“The only way is forward, Alec. I learned that a long time ago.” Magnus told him.

It’s good advice and it applied better now than Magnus had probably ever known would happen but it didn’t dial down whatever Alec

---

Thank you!!

[onceuponastory]

monster - the winter soldier

“Should I feel kindness towards my enemies? No: from that moment I declared everlasting war against the species, and, more than all, against him who had formed me, and sent me forth to this insupportable misery.”

- Frankenstein by Mary Shelley

Plot: Alexander Pierce finds an unexpected guest in his kitchen. One who wants revenge. Warnings: 18+ Please! This is a soft(ish) dark Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier fic. Graphic mentions of death, abuse, shooting, guns/weapons, blood and gore, torture and mind wiping. Everything The Winter Soldier did and had done to him is a trigger. You have been warned. Notes: This is essentially my own retelling of the CA:TWS ending. Bucky deserved better, and especially revenge against all who hurt him. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

Not beta’d, so all mistakes are my own. Thanks to @maysdigitalarts for the headers!

With a sigh, Alexander Pierce steps into his kitchen. He’s finally ready to unwind after another long day at work. After all, the work of an undercover HYDRA operative is never done. He reaches for the light switch. Yet, before he can turn the light on:

“Hello Pierce.” A disembodied voice speaks, causing him to jump. Alexander turns just in time to see his unexpected house guest leaning forward into the solitary beam of moonlight streaming through the window. The silvery metal of his arm shines in the light, and the red star emblazoned on it is in full view. As is the blood still staining it. Of course, Pierce knows who it is. After all, he’s the one who used the Winter Soldier as his personal assassin for months. He oversaw constant wiping and reshaping to mould the soldier into the perfect weapon, keeping him just docile enough so he wouldn’t ask questions or remember too much. The constant violence they inflicted on him helped too, though. However, a few weeks ago, he escaped, and despite how hard they tried, they couldn’t track him down. 

And now he’s here, sitting in his kitchen and holding a gun.

Alexander knew this day was coming. He has for a while now. After all, soon enough, the reaper comes for us all. And because the soldier has torn through almost all of HYDRA’s ranks by this point, slaughtering anyone and everything standing in his way. It’s only natural he’d work his way up to the top, to his god. Now, Alexander just has to survive.

“I was wondering when you’d show up.” He takes a seat, studying the man across from him. Although perhaps after everything they’ve done to him, all the torture and brainwashing…man is a loose word choice. If you tell someone he’s a monster for long enough, he’ll believe it. “I see you found your voice.” He smirks, knowing his word choice will sting. He can still see the soldier’s face staring back at him from the chair before another wipe. Frightened, alone, and cold as he mumbled to himself, trying desperately to cling to the shell of the Sergeant he used to be. He always had a heart to him, despite how much they tried to stomp it out. Such a weakness. “You shouldn’t be here. They’re trying to pin everything on you, and they’ll find you. If you run now, I won’t tell anyone. But what happens to you after that is out of my hands.” Alexander gets up to leave, but soon finds himself staring down the barrel of a gun.

“No. You sit.” 

“Really, I don’t see-” The side of the gun hits against his head, causing him to yell out in pain.

“I said, sit.” This time, Pierce does as he is told. Silence falls as both men keep a steady gaze on each other, each unsure of who’s going to make the first move.

“You’ve done a lot of bad things, you know. Lashing out against us when we only tried to help you.” He sighs, hoping that the techniques he used during the decades he and the others spent manipulating and brainwashing the soldier to do their bidding still work.

“Help?” the man scoffs. “You don’t know the meaning of the word help. Were you helping me when you stuck a metal arm on me? When you removed all the memories of my friends, the people who loved me? Or was it when you sent me out to kill innocent people?” His bitter accusations stun Alexander into silence for a moment. In all honesty, after everything they’ve done, and the amount of brainwashing they exposed him to, Alexander didn’t expect him to remember anything.

“What? That had nothing to do with me. I didn’t make you.” He snaps.

“You’re right. You didn’t. You and your friends just used me for your own ends, for the dirty work you didn’t want to do. And when people started to notice, you distanced yourself from the responsibility, taking no blame.”

“Don’t be so stupid.” Alexander hisses, ignoring the soldier’s warning to stop calling him that. “What did you expect me to do? As the head of S.H.I.E.L.D., I couldn’t have you connected to me. I would have lost everything.” The soldier scoffs.

“Of course. We couldn’t have the King losing his kingdom, could we? Unfortunately for you, Pierce…you already have.” He smirks, leaning in closer. “You took everything from me…so it’s only fair I take what is yours. Bit by bit. If it’s any consolation, at first I didn’t want to. A part of the old me was still inside, despite how much you tried to stomp it out. But as I spent more and more time away from you, I realised how unfair everything is. You’re just as complicit in my actions as I am, perhaps even more so. And yet, I’m the one being punished for them. Everyone sees me as the monster. Not you.”

“What, and you think killing us is going to help stop that? Stop the nightmares, and the guilt?” Alexander scoffs. “You’re even more stupid than I thought you were.” Angrily, the soldier slams his metal hand on the table, the force of his blow denting the wood. Despite his resolve, Alexander can’t help but jump at the noise.

“Stop it.” He hisses. “Or the next blow will be through your head.” For once, Alexander Pierce chooses to shut up. “And no. I know it won’t stop them. This…this is retribution. And I’ve been waiting for this.” Before Alexander can say anything else, the soldier lifts his gun once more, pointing it directly at his head. Pierce’s eyes go wide. For a moment, it sounds as if he murmurs an apology. With a quick pull of the trigger and a splatter of blood, Alexander Pierce’s life is over. “He died the same way he lived.” The soldier scoffs. “As a coward.” 

For a while, he stands there, watching as Pierce, the man who abused and tortured him for decades, bleeds out on top of his dining room table. Despite the blood and brain matter running down the wall, he still keeps a wary eye on Pierce’s hands, looking for any sign of twitch. After so long under HYDRA’s control and being hunted down each time he tried to escape, he’s expecting them to burst in at any moment and take him back in. Especially after this. He waits for hours, wondering if his execution will come. When nobody comes, he takes a deep, freeing breath. As relieved tears run down his cheeks, he lets out a happy, yet shaky laugh. It’s finally over. The nightmare is over. 

Bucky Barnes finally has a chance for peace.

I won't let you control my feelings anymore And I will no longer do as I am told And I am no longer afraid to walk alone Let me go Let me be I am escaping From your grip You will never own me again - The Handler by Muse

~*~*~*~*~*~

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[crazywolf828]

One thing I hate about having seizures young is how much it fucks with you. See every seizure ruins your brain, just a tiny tiny bit, usually not enough to notice. Of course it depends on where they're located (temporal and frontal being the worst because they control just about everything) and how often you have them.

I got diagnosed when I was about nine or ten, while my brain was still developing, and at the time seizure meds weren't working well because my body kept building a tolerance. Some people are lucky, first med and dosage and they're set for life, most people aren't. Four different neurologists, six different meds, and two types of epilepsy and I didn't get them under control for about ten years.

Sometimes I'd go months without them, a few times I'd go a year, but sometimes they were weekly, monthly. It fucking sucked as you can imagine, what's worse is it all happened before I even turned 18. I was so bad at school because my memory was shot, sure I have some things, but a lot of the more numerical and math-ish stuff I couldn't retain. Then I developed temporary nystagmus, which no one believed I had until about two years ago because it wasn't constant. My neurologist said it it was an optometrist issue and my optometrist said it was a neurologist issue.

Fifth grade I had my first seizure, not a single teacher helped accommodate after that, kept falling further and further behind until it was so bad that in 11th grade I could hardly do my schoolwork. From having seizure destroy my still developing brain, to being overwhelmed and having to retake classes and all the other neuro bullshit besides seizures going on in my head.

I ended up dropping out and I regret that decision constantly. I wished I could do my work, wished I could pass my classes but nothing I tried worked. Eventually my seizure got so bad I just had to leave.

I'm better now for the most part, the brain can rebuild, but a lot of stuff just didn't get fixed. The biggest being my memory.

We never figured out what triggered my seizures, but my current meds keep the grand mal ones at bay.

A lot of people never really think of seizures past the dropping on the ground and shaking, maybe being sore after, but it's a lot more. Your brain is literally electrocuting itself, destroying brain tissue. I've had seizures that have given me concussions, left me covered in bruises, vomited during them, I've been unable to walk for almost a week because the muscle pain is so bad even on muscle relaxers. I've bitten so many chunks of my tongue off that it's jagged, can't eat when I do and can hardly talk because of how bad it is. Sometimes I think about how I could just bite my tongue off, I'd bleed out and die. Obviously your head hurts, but if you've ever had a migraine, an actual migraine not a headache you're saying is a migraine, it's double that pain at least.

There's so much more but this got long just, if you know someone has seizures, and maybe they can't remember things, have a hard time with faces or spelling, maybe talk a bit funny, don't call it out. Trust me, they know.

[omg-im-such-a-masochist]

THINGS YOU MAKE ME DO

Prompt: Inspired by the song Things You Make Me Do by Devil Doll

Word Count: Long-ish

Pairings: Roman Reigns x Reader

Warnings: +18, angst, heart break, manipulation

Editor: @thenightmareismyreality

Tag: @ziasaph , @marlananicole , @akiko-tanaka , @wickedsunfire , @sassymox , @nicolewoo , @saccreigns , @mindofasagittaruis , @reigns-5sos , @drewmcintyrekoccsrocbwdgfan , @auawdo , @lustyromantic , @babydee17 , @yungbludjazz360

Notes: This song is amazing, this band is amazing and I missed my main man, so enjoy lol ❤️ If you’d like to check out my other works, you can find them on my Masterlist 😉

I've got a secret plan to love you and I do so night and day

And I always stand right by you, have your back in every way

And you wish that I could save you and I wish that I could too

But if you cause too much pain for me I'll leave if I have to

He stood up from the hotel bed and began to get dressed, and as she stared at his figure, she wondered until when was she going to put up with this

But I think about you constantly all through the night and day

And I toss and turn in bed at night and hope it goes away

But it never does and when I wake and you're not next to me

I remember where you are, I hope your girl forgives me

“Are you leaving already?” She asked

“You know I have to” He looked at her “We can’t have people suspecting this” He motioned to the space between them “I would be fucked if they did” He scoffed

“Excuse me?” She asked, hurt by his lack of emotion “What do you mean by that?” She couldn’t have felt more offended, even if she chose to

“What, Y/N? Look, we fuck every once in a while, we have a good time but that’s it!” He chuckled, as he tied up his sneakers “Don’t try to turn this into something that it isn’t” He stood up

“Like what?” She asked angrily

“You know what? I’ll see you later” He winked, and walked out the door of her hotel room

Do I need you?

You seem to think I do

Can't seem to see through anything that you do

Oh, ooohhh, the things you make me do

Y/N was walking down one of the dark arena hallways, when a pair of strong arms grabbed her from behind, pushing her inside of one of the locker rooms

“Aren’t you gonna talk to me?” He asked, with his lips glued to her ear

“No, and let me go! I have work to do”

“You’ve been ignoring me for three days straight! Why is that, baby?” As his lips made contact with her skin, trailing down her neck

“Roman, just let me go. This is not the place and DEFINITELY not the time”

“I miss you” He whispered “Y/N, baby, you hurt my feelings when you treat me like this” He buried his face in her hair and caressed her body softly

She scoffed “As if you had any”

“Hey” He turned her around so she could face him “What’s the attitude about?” He looked into her eyes, and saw the resentment they held

“Is this because of what I said in your hotel room?” He sighed

“If you know, then why play dumb?” She spat

“C’mon Y/N, I’m sorry, ok?” He hugged her waist “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m an asshole! Please forgive me?” He pouted “Please, baby? I hate when you get mad at me” He begged with his eyes

“You don’t deserve it, you know” She crossed her arms in front of her chest

“Don’t be such a bitter bitch...It’s hotter when you’re MY bitch” He teased

When she tried to hold back a cackle, he knew he had won again

I should know better than to follow your lead wherever you go

Through the raging rivers, stones and alley ways we go

Sometimes I wonder if you really know where you take me to

But your radio is on so loud I can't get through to you

But if everything's ok with you then it's ok with me

You are such a little boy with you're big philosophy

But I'm not a little girl, I am a woman, don't you know?

I'm packing up my toys, I don't want to play anymore

“I don’t want to do this anymore” She said, watching him turn around and get dressed again - as he did every time.

“What are you talking about?” He frowned, as he looked for his shirt

“I don’t want to see you anymore, I’m done with this bullshit”

“You’re breaking up with me?” He laughed, in disbelief

“Well technically, in order to break up with someone you need to be with them in the first place”

“Not this again” He rolled his eyes in annoyance “Why do you always have to get feelings involved, huh? For fucks sake, can’t you ENJOY a one night stand like everybody else?” He threw his hands up in the air

“One night stand?” She widened her eyes in surprise “Do you call fucking almost every night for two years straight a ‘one night stand’ ?”

“Sexually speaking, we couldn't be any more compatible if we tried - so what the fuck do you want me to do? You’re a good fuck to me and I’m a good fuck to you! Why would I search in clubs and bars for something I have next door?” He tugged on his hair out of frustration “I don’t have to date you to like you, Y/N” He sat down beside her on the bed, and caressed her face delicately “You know I like you, don’t you, baby?”

“Yeah I know” She slapped his hand away “You like me when your dick is inside of me”

“Y/N” He sighed

“Get the fuck out” She kicked him on his lower back, in a repeated attempt to shove him out of the bed “Get out!”

“I’m leaving!” He said, grabbing his jacket

“Out!” She threw one of her heels at him, and her aim made it so it nailed him sharply in the hip

“I said I’m fucking leaving” He grabbed the door handle “Crazy bitch!” He said loudly enough for her to hear as he left

But what he didn’t hear were her sobs, which lasted the entire weekend

Do I need you?

You seem to think I do

Can't seem to see through anything that you do

Oh, ooohhh, the things you make me do

Six months had passed. Y/N had transferred to Smackdown, leaving Roman and all of their bitter memories together with Monday Night Raw, and for once in her life, is truly happy. That night, as she approached her car in the parking lot, she spotted none other than Roman himself leaning against the drivers’ door of her vehicle

And how can you smile at me when you know just what you can do

And it's not fair to me cause you know that I can never have you

How can you make me feel so good but then you make me feel so bad

You know that you are the baddest love that I've never had

“Hi, baby” He smiled sheepishly “I missed you” He tried to hug her, but she dismissed him

*It’s not going to be as easy as I thought* He mentally said to himself

“Can I talk to you for a minute? I wanted to apolog-”

“What are you doing here, Roman?” She asked sharply

“I got transferred to Smackdown”

“Good for you” She nodded once and continued “Now, if you excuse me, I’m really tired” She pointed towards her car

“Y/N” He cupped her cheek “Please, just hear me out? I regret everything I did, baby. I mean it! I should have never treated you like that, you don’t deserve it! You’re a beautiful, smart, sexy woman and it was a huge mistake to take you for granted” He brushed his lips softly against hers “Tell me you forgive me, I beg you, please, baby”

“I forgive you and then what? Everything goes back to what it used to be? You treating me like shit? No, Roman. This is not fair to me” She shook her head

“And you’re absolutely right! That will NEVER happen again! I give you my word, baby. Just give me one more chance and I promise I’ll make it up to you” His long fingers stroked the back of her neck lightly, making her miss what they once had.

That was until her phone rang, and the first chords of the Davy Jones Locket song echoed through the parking lot, remembering her of what she had now.

She smiled, as the song continued “No, I have to go” She took his hand off her face and entered the car to go meet the owner of that ringtone.

I've got my own man now, he treats me the way that you never could

And now you're all like "I should’ve, could’ve, would..."

But I'm afraid you've missed the train, you were too busy playing games

And now our story comes to an end, you ain't my lover or my friend

And when I am walking down the aisle oh so happily

Then you'll be saying "it could’ve, should’ve been me."

“Rumor has it, you’re getting married” Roman said, leaning against her office’s door

“Wow, news travels fast in this business, huh?” She answered, not paying too

much attention to him

“Can I see the ring?”

“Why? Want to buy a new one for your wife?” She scoffed

He decided to ignore her tone “Can I know who the lucky guy is?”

“Will it change anything if you do?” She continued to read her papers

“Can you stop answering my questions with other questions?”

“Will you stop asking me personal questions then?”

He chuckled softly “I missed that acid humor of yours”

“What do you want Roman?” She glared at him

“Your happiness” But this time, he meant it

“Now, that’s a bad taste joke” She laughed bitterly

“I know you don’t believe me, but I do”

“Right” She said dismissively

“Can you tell me who it is?”

“I figure, if you know I’m getting married then you also know who the groom is. Why hear old news again?”

“It’s Drew, isn’t it?” He asked defeatedly

She sighed “Yes, Roman. It’s Drew, are you happy now?”

“When is the wedding?”

“October. Why are you suddenly so interested in my love life?”

“I need to know how much time I have to kidnap you before you commit the biggest mistake of your life” He joked, but deep down, he meant it

“I’m pretty sure I’ve already committed that one” She said, intentionally making eye contact with him

“I love you, Y/N. Always have”

“You have a funny way of showing it” She murmured

“I’m sorry, babe...but I felt trapped. I didn’t knew how to express what I was feeling and I was so confused” He locked his gaze with hers “I would do everything different now, I swear I would”

She ignored his pleading eyes, and returned her gaze to her paperwork “I’m afraid that time is gone, Roman...There’s nothing left to do”

If you need me, I will not hear thee

Stay away from me, trying to decieve me

Oh, oh, ohhh the things you make me do

Oh the things you'll never make me do

Oh the things you’ll never make me do

Roses are red, violets are blue and so are you

One year later, Y/N is gathering her personal belongings from her office, her pregnancy doesn’t allow her to travel with the company any more, so she’s going to be working only from her home office for the foreseeable future. A knock on her door made her look up

“I heard the stork will be visiting you soon” Roman said

“Yeah, apparently she will”

“How far along are you?” He approached her carefully

“Just turned four months”

“Baby is popping out of nowhere, huh? Until a week ago you had no bump at all, and now” He reached his hand to touch her belly, but stopped midway

“It’s okay, Ro, you can touch it” She encouraged him

He smiled widely and rested his big hand against her tiny bump

“Do you know what you’re having?” He asked softly

“Girl” She smiled brightly “Regan”

“Even got her a name already? Damn baby, you’re fast- Sorry I shouldn’t have called you that” He said weakly

“It’s ok, don’t worry about it” She tried to hide the nostalgia the pet name brought to her

“I wish...” He trailed off

“Don’t. Don’t go there, please”

“You can still run away with me, you know?” He smirked, teasingly

“I’m sure you would look great holding a female version of Drew” She tried to joke

“As long as you birth it, I don’t care who made it. Although I wish it was me” He tried, one last time

“Maybe in another life, Ro” She smirked sadly, as she reached the door

“Do you promise?” He asked

“I’ll see you around” Smiling widely, she made her way out the arena doors, leaving him behind, for the second time (in that life).

But who knows what can happen in the next one?...

Please, if you’re comfortable with it, let me know your thoughts on this? Feedbacks are always appreciated 🥰😘

[1dmonthlyficroundup]

1D Monthly Fic Roundup

Hi, and welcome to the 1D Monthly Fic Roundup for August 2021! Below you’ll find 23 One Direction fics that were all published this month in the order they were submitted to the blog. We hope you’ll check out these new fics! If you would like to submit your own fic, please check this post on how to submit or visit our blog @1dmonthlyficroundup​.

Happy reading!

He Carries The Key by @lululawrence

[Niall/Louis, OT5, 8k, Not Rated, tumblr post]

Niall was mostly home, ready for a shower and a chat with Louis, when suddenly Niall was flooded with emotions from the pack bond.Shock. Surprise. Confusion.But mostly fear.Something was wrong with Louis.

Plus One by mynameispiaivy / @missrefridgefreetorator

[Louis/Luke Malak, 3k, Mature, tumblr post]

Louis is invited to an event and he has to bring a "plus one".

Better Mistakes by lovelarry10 / @chloehl10

[Harry/Louis, 117k, Explicit, tumblr post]

“Look, this doesn’t have to be the end of the world-”

“Oh but it fucking is,” Louis said, shaking his head. “How the fuck am I going to tell Matt I’m pregnant with a baby when we’ve not had sex in months? He might be a bit thick sometimes, but he is gonna know there’s no chance this baby is his.”

“You don’t have to, uh, tell him it’s mine, right?”

Louis scoffed. “Why, are you scared he’s gonna come and kick the shit out of you?”

“He wishes,” Harry laughed, looking back down at the test. “Shit, I … I can’t believe this. Louis, I didn’t mean for this. Honestly. It was just sex for me. We have great sex, and I didn’t see why I should have to turn that down, not when you clearly wanted it as much as I did. I didn’t want this to end in a baby.”

Louis knows he shouldn’t be sleeping with his boyfriend’s enemy. He knows that. But there’s something that draws him back to Harry over and over again. Falling in love wasn’t part of the plan...

Thou, Sun, Art Half As Happy by @lululawrence

[Louis/Harry/Nick Grimshaw, 7k, Not Rated, tumblr post]

Hello, I’m sorry if this isn’t a post that is allowed on this channel, but I was hoping for the best since it is regarding a photography project I’m working on at the moment. I’m working on a set of sunrise kiss photos and therefore am needing a willing kissing partner. I’d hoped to be able to provide one for myself, but it hasn’t panned out, so here I am! I was hoping to find someone here, since I know most of you (at least peripherally) and can generally vouch for you not being creeps. Plus this way I know you will understand needing to continue to tweak the camera settings and reshoots etc that others might not.

Anyway, I’m looking for someone who identifies as male or male-ish (sorry, ladies) who is between the ages of 18 and 40. I’m a 29 year old male-ish myself, for those who would like to know before replying.

If you’re interested and are free the early morning of August 7th and would like to kiss in the sunrise with me for the sake of some (hopefully) interesting and fun photos, let me know via DM and I’ll give you the location.

OR the one where Louis needs a kissing partner, two show up, and it all might turn out for the best that way.

call my name and save me from the dark by @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed / we_are_the_same

[Louis/Harry, 4k, Teen & Up, tumblr post]

“I don’t know if it was a nightmare,” he confesses to the ceiling, the darkness making it easier to speak up even when he still has to close his eyes to stop himself from tearing up. “It feels more like a memory. But it can’t be.”

Harry shifts, and Louis can feel his chin perched on his chest, doesn’t need to look at him to know that Harry’s studying him. “Why?” He prompts, when Louis doesn’t immediately continue, and Louis swallows, tries to shrug off the apprehension, the fear that Harry will think that he’s gone mad.

“Because I heard them pronounce me dead.”

Feels like home by @neondiamond

[Louis/Harry, 2k, Explicit, tumblr post]

Louis comes home from work with an exciting surprise. Daydreaming and celebrations ensue.

this is my jam by @disgruntledkittenface

[Harry/Louis, 4k, Mature, tumblr post]

The guy’s eyes are so blue that Harry can’t tear his gaze away, even as he moves to the beat. The searing light shade is magnetic; he finds himself leaning in and yelling, “This is my jam!” only to earn a laugh from thin pink lips that Harry’s definitely going to be dreaming about tonight.

“Your jam?”

When the guy yells back over the music, his blue eyes sparkling and his lips twisted in a smirk, Harry’s chest literally puffs out with pride at earning his attention. His obvious approval. Tongue-tied, Harry nods and closes his eyes as he lets go, the music reverberating around them. All of the usual inhibitions that keep him in the corner at parties fall away and he bounces around the center of the dance floor, waving his arms above his head. Somehow his towel stays on, even as he starts to think he wouldn’t mind if it fell off. Fuck it. He finally made it here, he’s damn well going to enjoy it.

Harry goes to a gay bathhouse for the first time. 90s AU.

I Know My Arithmedick (2 + 2 = 4sum) by yeah_alright / @uhoh-but-yeah-alright

[Harry/Louis + Louis/multiple partners, 3k, Explicit, tumblr post]

Harry wants to watch Louis fuck someone else. Louis loves giving Harry what he wants. It’s simple math, really.

doG…and his friend by @uhoh-but-yeah-alright / yeah_alright

[Louis/Harry, 3k, Teen & Up, tumblr post]

When Joan has to move out of her small, nice home and in with a random roommate, she obviously brings her dog/boyfriend, Doug, with her.

Doug makes a friend. And maybe more.

I Heard You Talking by @lululawrence

[Louis/Harry, 10k, Not Rated, tumblr post]

It had been an hour of their noise that Louis had been dealing with, and for some reason the fact that these grown men were being this rowdy in the quiet carriage over a game of Uno was the breaking point for him. He stood up and turned around, making his way down to where the group of five were somehow gathered around a table.

Louis stopped at the table and cleared his throat, mouth open and ready to politely request they keep it down when the man who was sitting with his back to Louis turned.

He was stunningly gorgeous.

Blinking a ridiculous number of times in an attempt to pull himself together, Louis coughed and spit out, “This is the quiet carriage.”

God, he was nearly forty and that was the best he could do in front of a set of pretty, green eyes?

Or the one where Harry is famous and Louis doesn't have a clue. Good thing his son is able to help him out.

All That You Need by @haztobegood

[Louis/Harry, 2k, Explicit, tumblr post]

Pre-heat was always one of Harry’s favorite times to spend with Louis. It was a time to rest up and indulge in extra cuddles, like basking in a ray of sunshine before having to dive off the deep end. Louis lavishes him with tender touches and soft kisses. Harry wants to savor this time as long as possible. The unquenchable need will come later, but for now, his desires are simple. He just needed to be closer to his alpha. As close as possible.

sickly sweet fonding by amomentoflove / @daggerandrose

[Louis/Harry, 1k, General, tumblr post]

A few members of their crew start piling up the dirty dishes and taking them over to the sink. Harry walks around the cameras, and smiles brightly at Louis.

“What do you think, Lou? Do I have it in the bag?”

Louis eyes a bowl of bright pink lumpy batter being cleaned from Harry’s side. “Of course you do.” He wraps an arm around Harry’s waist and steers him away, all while ignoring the dramatic gagging Niall is doing. He doesn’t think it’s just the batter making Niall gag.

or the one where Louis fonds over Harry's horrible baking skills

Fractured Moonlight by amomentoflove / @daggerandrose

[Louis/Harry, 1k, Mature, tumblr post]

Louis huffs because he doesn’t want to deal with this. “Listen, I appreciate your concern.” He doesn’t. “But it’s not your duty to look after the sad man at the bar. Okay?”

'Ere comes the milk by stretchmybones / @onlyfor-thegays

[Harry/Louis, 1k, Explicit]

Louis is obsessed with Harry's mommy milkers.

everything comes back to you by stretchmybones / @onlyfor-thegays

[Louis/Harry, 8k, Explicit]

Harry and Louis are childhood best friends. What happens when Harry has to move towns just as they are starting their secondary gender presentations? What happens when fate brings them back together years later in the most unexpected of ways?

He Still Takes My Breath Away by @parmahamlarrie

[Harry/Louis, 32k, Teen & Up, tumblr post]

Camp Infinity is the perfect place for a lot of things; hiking, swimming, sports, eating, and falling in love. Harry Styles is a bit too familiar with the last one from his years of being a camper. This year things will be different. He’s 21, a grown man now, and ready to see Camp Infinity from a different point of view; working as a lifeguard. However, his whole summer turns upside down when a familiar British lad makes his return into Harry's life.Or the one where Harry is a lifeguard and Louis is the head of recreation. And, sometimes, you just need a little push to realize what was right in front of you the whole time.

Also known as – The Summer Camp Fic

tread lightly on my ground by fairytalelights / @lookslikefairytale

[Louis/Harry, 20k, Explicit, tumblr post]

No, that's the tragic part of this, the part that makes Harry feel like the universe is playing a cruel joke on him. The father of his baby is exactly right, exactly who he always imagined himself having kids with. He just imagined them married, bonded. Happy. He didn't imagine them barely talking, tip-toeing around each other because neither of them is brave enough to talk about what happened between them. He didn't imagine the father of his child not loving him back.

or, the one where Harry is having Louis' baby, but Louis doesn't know it's his.

Getting a Head for Heights by @ladyaj-13 / LadyAJ_13

[Louis/Greg James, 3k, Teen & Up, tumblr post]

The problem is, Louis thinks Greg would be quite good to date, so it would really help if everyone would stop reminding him of that fact so he could unthink it. He’d be a gentleman, at least until Louis talked him out of it, and he’s funny and nice and hot and they’re both into music and football and drama. He’s also a freakish giant of a human, and the problem with dating is that sooner or later you have to stand next to each other.

We Go Together (series) by @beelou / cherrylarry

[Louis/Harry, 3k, General, tumblr post]

A grease au

Hot Boy Summer (series) by @louisandtheaquarian / zita17

[Harry/Louis, 35k, Teen & Up, tumblr post]

Louis is an overworked bartender hoping to save up enough extra tips to buy a new air conditioner before he literally melts during a scorching NYC heat wave. Harry is the new neighbor that wakes him up by moving in his sole day off at 6am. An NYC enemies to neighbors to lovers AU featuring a rickety fire escape, the 2021 Euros, Lirry bickering like a divorced couple, and enough OT5 clichés to rot your teeth. (If Harry's pastries don't get them first.)

across the river is where my heart is by 4ureyesonly28 / @evilovesyou

[Louis/Harry, 8k, General, tumblr post]

The first time they see each other is when they are toddlers, playing out in the yard. Louis remembers sitting on the perfectly trimmed lawn and getting yelled at for picking at the soft blades of grass; she remembers looking over, across the narrow but deep and wild river, and watching another little girl, out in a different garden, picking flowers for her mother.

She remembers carefully raising her hand and waving—her little heart beating hard in her chest, as if she had done something dangerous, something forbidden, even though back then she could not understand the true divide the River made amongst them.

bright eyes, blue denim by 4ureyesonly28 / @evilovesyou

[Louis/Harry, 2k, General, tumblr post]

Louis' favourite jeans have suddenly disappeared from where he always got them. Harry is a store manager with an affinity for customer care, particularly when the customer has bright blue eyes and happens to be very flirty.

whatever you feel like doing in this moment by 4ureyesonly28 / @evilovesyou

[Harry/Louis, 2k, General, tumblr post]

Louis gets all that he's ever wanted during his favourite game at their group's weekly improv show.

[palettes-and-prompts]

Could you do some horror-ish prompts about doppelgangers? 🤔

Sure thing, sorry this took so long!

1) "Hey, sorry I'm late, you will not believe what happened to me." "How did--you were just here. You said you were going to talk to the king personally." "Fuck. I need you to follow me." "What? Why?" "So someone will believe me when I say I didn't murder him."

2) "Why are you calling me?" "If I show up at the door do not let me in. It's not me." "What?" "It's kind of a long story but it'll look like me but it's not me." "Person A, you're in my house. I'm staring at you right now." "Run! Get out of the house now!"

3) "I'm so glad we're together." "You are?" "I love you, Person A." "Who are you?" "Uh, it's Person B." "Person B doesn't love me and they never have. So unless you want to get a bullet in the gut you're going to tell me who you are right now."

4) "You going to kill me and then the others?" "No. Just you. I'll take your place, your friends, your life. I'll take everything that belongs to you for myself. I wont pretend to be you anymore. Your spot will be open for me to become you forever. I plan on taking the spot."

5) "They'll never believe you're me." "I have all your memories, all your thoughts. I am you. No need for anyone to believe it. They know it. And once I get rid of you, you wont be able to take away what's mine."

6) "I got away from my doppelganger just in time. What about you?" "Yeah, I don't know where they went. Where should we meet?" "Don't worry, I see you from here." "Person A?" "Yeah?" "I don't see you anywhere."

7) "I thought you said you were going to meet Person A." "I'm meeting them tomorrow." "You said you're going to meet them now and then you just left. Hey, how did you change clothes so fast?" "We need to find Person A now!"

8) "Had you told me you had a freaky twin going around trying to kill everyone in your life I probably would have went on a nice vacation. But now I'm here with a broken arm." "I said I was sorry!"

9) "Person A will catch on soon. You can't pretend to be me forever." "Person A likes the new me. Well, the new you. And they think it's great how much better I am at paying attention to their needs instead of my own."

10) "I like this new life of mine, I like your friends, I like the cute one you don't date who follows you around like a puppy. I like your family, and they all like the new me, and I don't ever plan on giving them up to someone who wasn't grateful for them in the first place."

11) "There's only room for one of us, Person A. And I think you know which one of us is stronger."

12) "Person A, don't do this, you know I'm the real B." "No, I am." "I know all your favorite things, we're friends, we talk and I listen to you and all your problems." "That's not true, I never listen to your problems! Shoot them!"

13) "Person A is an evil clone of me." "We know." "Then why are you still around them?" "We...kind of like them better than you. I mean, they're actually nice to be around. Sorry."

14) "I've become the good best friend, the caring family member and the attentive partner the ones around you have always wanted you to be. Let me take over for you. I mean, why would you want to come back to the people who don't want the real you in the first place?"

15) "Give me my life back!" "Sorry, I just don't want to."

16) "You wanted to be alone, away from everyone, but now that you've realized you can't handle being alone you want your spot in their lives back? I don't think so. You got what you wished for. No take backs."

17) "Hey, my favorite supervisor, Person A!" "What? No, it's Person B." "No, sorry, Person B and I can't come in for work today. We're actually out of town at the moment visiting some family." "My doppelganger's there, aren't they?" "Yeah, yeah. Sorry. Doesn't look like I'll be able to make it anytime soon."

18) "Is it sad. I've been pretending to be you for months now and no one's even noticed? What does that say about you? That you're easy to read or that no one pays attention enough to you to notice when something's off?" "Just kill me already." "Nah, I like telling you everything. It's kind of nice not having to pretend for someone."

19) "Yeah, I made it to the house. Place is kind of weird though. Old as hell. Hey, why's there a giant mirror in the living room?" "There's no mirror in the living room." "Yes, there is, I see my reflection. Wait." "What is it?" "It's me but...my reflection's not doing what I'm doing."

20) "Really is a shame you figured out I wasn't the real Person A. You were fun, I liked having you around."

1) Person A wishes they could leave their life behind without the consequences. Their wish comes true, creating an identical version of them with all of their thoughts and memories who wants nothing more than to take their place. While A enjoys being alone for a little while they begin to miss their friends and family. Wanting to come back they show up and tell Person B, their doppelganger, that they don't need them anymore. But things get complicated when Person B has grown attached to the family and friends and refuses to give up their place. When A tries to wish them away Person B tells them if they want their place back they'll have to kill them for it. When Person A is unable to fight them A threatens to kill them if they try to come between them and their new family. Person A then has to come up with a plan to get rid of Person B.

2) After Person A looks at a magic mirror they pass out. When they wake up they find someone's been going around impersonating them and making them look bad to everyone around them. No one believe A isn't doing this and when they see proof of them doing it they think they've been sleepwalking and losing time. But when they see themselves from a distance they're surprised. They then have to hunt down their doppelganger, Person B, and try to get them to stop. When their friends finally see that there's indeed two of them they try to help A find the mirror to see if there's a way to get rid of B.

3) When Person A's face shows up in murder investigations everyone is confused until A's parents confess that A's actually an identical twin that got separated since their family was only able to care for one child. They keep getting arrested and taking in for questioning and has to constantly prove their identity. They eventually decide to track down the twin ruining their reputation, against the wishes of everyone, and the two meet for the first time. A confronts the twin, Person B, and tells them to change themselves and that they want their life back. Person B sees an opportunity and kidnaps A, assuming their identity. While everyone buys B's act the only person who doesn't is A's best friend, Person C. It's then C's job to find Person A and help them come up with a plan to get rid of Person B for good.

4) When Person A makes Person B, a clone of themselves, to take their place they find that the clone begins adapting to the needs of others and becomes a smarter and better version of them that everyone seems to like almost instantly. When they find that the universe can only handle one version of them in the world they know they have to destroy person B. When they confront the clone, B tells them they like it there and don't want to go. Afraid B will try to get rid of them first, they make sure everyone knows B is a clone. But things take a turn for the worst when everyone admits B had already told them they were a clone from the start, they just genuinely liked B more than they ever liked A. When A tells them only one can exist in the world and that they'll have to choose who lives they all choose B. A starts to get nervous when they watch their friends and family arm themselves, but they're even more horrified when they see B smirking at them like they planned it all from the beginning.

5) Person A is in love with Person B, who doesn't really know they exist. When they decide to clone B to get to know them better and practice not sounding so awkward when speaking to them, they create Person C. Person C quickly takes a liking to Person A and doesn't like the idea of Person B being allowed to have them. A and B get closer now that A's able to speak to B without making a fool of themselves. Person C is able to learn more about the science A does and decides to transfer their consciousness into B before their body expires. A finds out about C's plan and confesses the whole situation to Person B. At first B wants nothing to do with A but when their life is threatened B realizes A's the only one who can help them. Time begins to run out for C but C's built a device to switch places with B. They begin hunting the two of them all while trying to convince A to let them switch with B so they can be together. When C catches up to them they say all the right words to A, confessing their love is real. B tells A that despite everything they do like them and wouldn't mind dating them. B and C end up in a fight when the time runs out. One of them disappears forever. It's up to the writer if the device was used and which one gets to stay with Person A.

6) A scientist clones Person A six times. The clones begin committing crimes around town and Person A's got to convince their friends to hunt them down. They, along with the friends, establish a code word to let them know which A is the real A. They begin hunting each clone and after two are dead the other four catch on to them and decide to get makeovers, making themselves look like other people. They eventually figure out ways to hunt the friends and A has to protect them. When people they're close to start dying A works harder to track them all down. When they're down to one last one, A finds the clone wearing their exact outfit and has their hair styled just like A's. When they fight their friends have to destroy one to save the other. When asked the code word both A and the clone say it at the same time. Unable to figure out which one is which the friends must figure out another way to tell them apart.

7) Person A finds out they look like Person B, a cruel but wealthy business person. After figuring out what B does for a living they begin taking their place during certain times they know B wont be around. When B figures it out what they're doing they decide to kill Person A. A manages to protect them self but accidentally kills B. They hide B's body and take their place. They discover Person B is alive later that day and keep them locked up in a room where they can't get out. They continue living B's life and successfully make friends and become more popular in their workplace. When B comes back A is scared they'll lose everything. But when their new friends and coworkers join together to kill B they're finally happy to feel like they belong somewhere.

8) Person A is a famous singer who wants to retire and be able to spend more time with their friends. Person B is an obsessed fan who wants A to themselves. They make a clone of A who wants to be a star, Person C, and they find out where A is. When the timing is right B switches the two of them and kidnaps A to keep them. It's then up to their friends to figure out what really happened and why Person A's suddenly acting weird and going back on their word about singing.

9) Person A and Person B are long lost twins who meet and decide to switch places thinking it'll be fun. But when A realizes B's got people looking to try and kill them they want to switch back. Unwilling to do that and claiming they're finally free of the others, they make sure to learn just enough that people don't believe A is really who they claim to be. Person A then has to figure out a way to survive B's life before they can take back their own.

10) Person A's friends begin acting strange and out of place. A thinks they're imagining it until they overhear a few of them talking to someone about Person A's day and what they did or said all day. When they find out they're just doppelgangers of their friends they try to figure out where their friends are. The doppelgangers make it difficult but when they're able to save their friends they decide to come up with codes to keep track of who is who. Things get more difficult for them when one of the doppelgangers overhears their code words.

[msmarvelouswinchester]

No Strings Attached

Summary - Some words are better remained unspoken but not always. Sometimes it better to just confess.

Pairing - Jensen x Reader, past Jensen x OFC Sarah

Warning - Fluff, angst-ish, secret relationship, smut (18+), unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), oral sex (female receiving), swearing, insecurities, mentions of betrayal.

Word Count - 3178

Square Filled - Rockstar!Jensen ( @spndeanbingo ); Confessions ( @anyfandomgoesbingo )

A/N - This is written for my challenge "Chan's 500 followers challenge".

Request by @deanwanddamons - Hey hon! Huge congratulations on 500 followers! You deserve it 💞 Could you write ‘3. How was I such an idiot, to believe that you, out of all people, could ever love me?’ Jensen and Y/N 😘 (Hope you like it and sorry it got so long)

Beta'd by the lovely @miss-nerd95​ (she is such a sweetheart! Thank you so much)

The beautiful spn dividers by @talesmaniac89

I love the Ackles fam, but for the sake of this fic, Jensen is single and was never married to Danneel.

Your eyes were focused on the man on stage, heart beating loudly as you watched his every movement the way his thick fingers were wrapped around the mic, that little smirk on his face as he sang along to the Eric Church’s song. Your head full of thoughts about what his fingers and mouth could do to you.

“Damn you, really turn me on, paintin' your toenails pink.” He sent you a sideway glance, giving you a knowing smile as he sang the lines. His tongue peeked out of his mouth as it swept over his lips, his action so casual yet it sent the audience into a frenzy. The song enriched by his voice was enough to make you squirm and the memories from last night were not helping you at all.

You should have seen this coming ever since the moment you had stepped into the green room that day, right before the Saturday Night Live. You had smirked to yourself when you saw Jensen's eyes slightly widening at the sight of you in the tight little skirt that you had paired with a see-through button down and matching bra, as you had walked up to him with a glass of wine in your hand.

A blush had crept up your neck when you had felt his eyes all over your body. You had taken a seat right beside him, just to rile him up a bit more. You knew he couldn't even kiss you because no one in the cast knew about your hidden rendezvous. You had furtively glanced at the actor beside you. With one brow raised slightly, Jensen was staring right at you.

“You want to go out there?” You jumped at Richard’s voice, pulling you out from your sinful thoughts. “I know you can sing.”

“You sure? Jensen has set the stage on fire. I don't think I have enough fuel to match that level.” You chuckled, looking out towards the stage as the said man wrapped an arm around Rob’s shoulder, jamming out to the music of the guitar. You hadn't even noticed when he had switched to another song because you were too busy staring at how his biceps flexed under his black shirt with every small movement of his arm. A puff of air left your mouth as he hit a high note in the song.

“Trust me, he will definitely not mind.” Richard winked.

“Um-thanks Speight, but I'd rather stay here and enjoy the show.” You politely declined Richard’s request. Tonight, the stage was a dangerous arena.

You took in a sharp breath as the last notes of the song strung in the air, the crowd erupting into a loud cheer as Rob struck the last chord on his guitar. “Thank you!” Jensen gave a dramatic bow, waving his hands in the air as he was exiting the stage which caused an uproar in the room. Handing over the mic to Rob, the actor left the stage.

“Enjoyed the show, sweetheart?” A smug smile tugged on his lips as he stalked towards you, the look on his face making you go weak in the knees.

“You put on quite a show out there.” You said, placing a hand on his chest.

“What can I say? I am a good performer. There is nothing better than seeing the audience satisfied,” Jensen replied and leaned towards you, bringing his mouth near your ear. “And then leave them begging for more.” Your heart was beating wildly making you gasp as his teeth grazed past your earlobe, a shiver running down your body to your core.

“Jackles!” Jared’s booming voice made you two jump apart. “We are going out for drinks, wanna join?”

“Yeah! Go ahead, I'll...uh-catch up. Y/N’s coming with me too.”

“Uh-okay!” Jared hesitated a bit before he rejoined the awfully jolly group of actors, making their way towards the bar a few blocks away from the convention.

“Ackles, anyone caught your eye yet?” Jared questioned his tv brother, which piqued your interest.

“So, I'm picking up random girls from the bar now to get my dick wet? Jare-” Jensen looked at his best friend with a look of pure disgust in his eyes.

“Jensen, that's not what I-”

“Now, don't start with your relationship crap. You know I don't do relationships anymore.” It wasn't like you didn't expect him to say this, but deep down it still hurt to hear him say that there was no one special in his life. You tuned out the rest of his words as you reminisced about your first night together.

The relationship between you and Jensen was complicated. A few months ago, you had hooked up in his Vancouver apartment after a drunken night and that had started the whole friends with benefit thing. No one knew that you two were sleeping together. It was something you two had decided to keep between yourselves because it wasn't like you were in a relationship, you two just fucked to relieve some tension. Or so you thought. You didn't even realise when you had fallen head over heels for the man but you had managed to keep your mouth shut.

Your eyes roamed around the room until it landed on Jensen to see him staring intently at you. An involuntary shiver ran down your body under his strong gaze. You left your seat and went to sit beside him at which he was taken by surprise.

“Miss me already?” He smirked, an eyebrow raised at you.

“Don’t shave.” You said.

“That doesn't answer my que-” the words got stuck in his throat as you placed your hand on his thigh. Jensen stiffened under your touch but thankfully the action went unnoticed by everyone else.

“What d'you think you're doin’?” He asked, his southern accent slipping through.

“Nothing.” You smirked as you hand travelled upwards towards his crotch but no one could see your little teasing session underneath the table. Jensen swallowed thickly as he fidgeted in his seat, trying to adjust his pants and to remove your hand but you were adamant. You coyly palmed his growing excitement as he sucked in a breath.

“Don't challenge me, Y/N/N.” He growled into your ear, your own panties were now ruined. “I can take you right here, right now. You want me to do that, to teach you a lesson for being a bad girl?”

“Where's your self control, Ackles?” You mocked.

Without answering your question, he suddenly stood up. “Y/N’s not feeling so hot. I think it's best if she goes back to the hotel.” Jensen told the cast. You licked your lips when you saw his dominant side jumping out.

“What ‘bout ya?” Jared drunkenly asked.

“She is in the room right beside me and it's too late. I'm going back to the hotel with her. I'm just being a gentleman.” Jensen said, trying to sound as convincing as possible. Everyone said their goodbyes and if anyone suspected anything, they didn't speak up.

A few minutes after leaving the bar, Clif pulled up in front of the bar. You and Jensen slipped into the backseat. That fifteen minutes drive felt like the longest time you had ever been in a car. The tension was so thick between, it could have been cut with a knife. Jensen did his best to restrain himself, so much so he barely looked at you because even Clif wasn't in on your little secret and you wanted to keep it that way.

You had barely closed the door before you felt Jensen’s hands all over your body. He abandoned his leather jacket before pushing you against the wall.

“I wanted to rip off your clothes the moment you walked into the room.” He murmured as he pinned you to the wall, kissing you roughly. “Do you have any idea how hard you made me tonight? Huh?” He breathed into the skin of your neck, making you whimper.

“Jay-uh, you were a t-tease as well. You sang that song tonight o-on purpose.” You breathed out. A gasp left your lips when Jensen hungrily ripped off your shirt and skirt leaving you in nothing but your bra and panties. You hooked your legs behind his back as he effortlessly picked you up and took you to the bed, putting you down before he climbed on top of you. Impatiently, you tugged at the hem of his t-shirt at which Jensen smirked and pulled the shirt over his head before throwing it on the floor. You took in the perfectly toned muscles of his chest and stomach like you were seeing him naked for the very first time, which of course wasn't, when he put a finger under your chin, making you look up at him.

“Like what you see?” He smirked as your hands travelled up to feel his hard pecs. Jensen grabbed your hand and moved them away from his chest as he leaned down to leave a trail of kisses down your body. You shuddered when his mouth found the sweet spot on your neck. He swiftly removed your bra, leaving only in your lacy panties. “You are so beautiful.” He murmured as he took in your naked form.

There wasn't a single part of your body that he didn't touch. His hands travelled all over your body, squeezing and pinching your skin as they moved until finally stopped on your breasts, kneading and massaging them.

“Jay-” you moaned as he continued to nibble at your sensitive skin. His mouth left your neck before latching onto your right nipple, his tongue flicking the bud making you cry out his name. “Oh fuck,” you whimpered as his fingers worked on your other nipple. You could feel him smirking before his mouth released you from its assault, pressing a kiss on the valley of your chest before moving south.

“Fuck baby, you're so wet. Where's your self control?” Jensen grunted when his hand brushed your damp panties before making a quick job of pulling them off you. He left kisses along the inside of both your thighs before you felt his hot breath fanning against where you needed him the most. He pressed a kiss on your aching pussy as you moaned for the hundredth time that night.

“Mhm, you always taste so good.” He growled against your pussy, the vibration of his voice making you shiver in anticipation. He started licking your clit slowly but then he picked up his pace as his tongue worked overtime. Your hands moved downwards, your fingers entangling with his hair. Jensen’s scruff scratched against your thigh, giving you a sweet, burning sensation which you knew would stay as a reminder of his unholy ministrations. His mouth and tongue continued to give you pleasure as the latter went in deep, hungrily eating you out.

“Fuck Jensen!” You exclaimed when you felt the pressure build up. You pulled at his scalp, making him groan against your pussy before he put a finger in you, at which you whimpered. He pumped in twice before adding another, successfully stretching you open.

“Shit!” Your back arched with pleasure as his fingers curled inside you, hitting your g-spot repeatedly. The coil inside you tightened as he kept pumping his fingers.

“Fuck! Fuck Jay!” You mewled as you came on his fingers. He pulled out his fingers, licking them clean, while you tried to steady your breathing. Giving you a quick kiss, he pulled down his pants along with his boxers, his hardened length making you lick your lips at the sight. He took his cock and ran his hand up and down the shaft, the tip of his cock beaded with precum.

“Jensen.” You croaked.

“Tell me what you want, sweetheart.” His deep voice growled as he sat there in all his naked glory.

“I-hm, I want you inside me.” Jensen quickly obliged as he lined himself with your entrance. Your mouth both sucked in a breath when he slipped his cock into you.

“You need to move.” He almost pulled out, leaving only his tip inside you before pushing all of him back in again. You buckled up your hips to match with his thrusts, making him groan. Your pussy clenched around him as the knot in your stomach tightened once again.

“Fuck Y/N!” He growled as his thrusts started to become sloppy.

“I am gonna-Jay!” your back arched as the coil in your stomach snapped and you felt yourself coming undone for the second time that night. Jensen thrusted a few more times before he spilled his seed inside you, coating your walls. “Shit Y/N!” He panted as he dropped his head into the crook of your neck. Pressing his lips on yours, he pulled out of you and rolled over, both of you panting hard, as you came down from your high before he got up to get a piece of cloth to clean you both up.

You were lying in his arms, basking in the post-coital bliss, both of you still in an euphoric state when those fateful words were muttered. “I think I'm in love with you.” The sentence slipped out before you could have stopped yourself and that's when you felt him beside you stiffen up.

“I thought we agreed this thing to be no-strings attached.” He said, his voice hard as rock as he spat the words out, making you wince at the sheer intensity of disgust in those ten little words.

“I-I thought, I'm sorry. I know what I got myself into,” you scoffed, “How was I such an idiot, to believe that you, out of all people, could ever love me?” You left the soft hotel bed, wrapping yourself with the white sheet to cover your modesty and self-respect or what was left of it.

“Where are you going?” Jensen asked as he watched you pick up the pieces of your clothing strewn about the room, putting them back on as you tried to swallow the lump in your throat.

‘Was that concern in his voice?’ You wondered but you decided not to voice your thoughts instead you retorted, “No-strings attached, remember? I am going back to my room.” And that was the last thing you said before you left hurriedly.

Closing the door behind you, you burst into tears. You almost ran back into your room because you didn't want to be seen by anyone and read some nasty headline on the celebrity gossip page the next day.

You didn't know how long you cried, lying there in your bed as you blamed yourself for completely messing up a good relationship. Wait, why were you even calling your arrangement a relationship?

That man didn't do relationships. How could you be so stupid to say those words to him? Maybe deep down inside, you had hoped that Jensen felt the same about you but after tonight all your hopes had been turned to dust. You laid motionless in your bed with tears streaming down your cheeks until two short knocks on your door interrupted your pity party.

A sense of fear seeped into you. Did someone see you in the hallway? You wondered. Gathering up a bit of courage you opened the door to find the man you least expected to show up on the other side.

“Wha-” Jensen barged into the room, closing the door behind him.

“Sarah, my last girlfriend she-I loved her, God did I love her but she took advantage and stabbed me in the back, left me there in the pool of my own blood.” He let out a shaky breath.

You still remembered that night in the trailer clearly. You and Jensen were still getting to know each other and you had never seen him have a breakdown like that. Sarah had used Jensen's name to get further in the industry and used his money but then she had owned up to never loving him and cheating on him with another man. Thomas was sick so Jared had to leave immediately while you had stayed with him that night in the trailer because you knew if you left him alone, he would have drowned himself in alcohol.

“I swore off dating, then you came along. After our first night in my Vancouver apartment, I didn't want to let you go. You were also healing from your last breakup and we both needed something to release the tension so I asked you to be my friend with benefits.”

“Jay-”

“Let me complete because I owe you an explanation and I'm here to give you one. All this time I was thinking that my feelings towards you were not romantic because I was scared to fall in love again until tonight when I watched you storm out of my room. I realised that I was lying to everyone including myself and I don't think I can live with that. ” You searched his face to find any sort of pity or a lie but all you saw were eyes filled with adoration for you. “Now I know I'm an idiot and I have royally fucked everything up but I think I'm ready to take a leap and I don’t want anyone but you by my side.”

You didn't even know when you had started crying. Jensen came closer to you, cupping your face, he whispered, “I want you, all strings attached.”

“Am I really the person you want?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?” A look of confusion descended on his face.

“Okay. I can give us a chance but I need you to be all in. I want you with all your strings attached as well.” You said, your lips curling up to form a soft smile.

“I am all in.” He said and leaned in, capturing your lips with his. Your one hand moved to the back of his neck and another gripped his bicep to ground yourself. It was a soft kiss filled with love and new promises.

“I do have one condition.” You said after breaking the kiss.

“I agree.” Jensen said, pecking your lips.

“You didn't even hear it.”

“I don't have to. I agree with it.” He smiled.

“Well then, no sex for one month.” You smirked as you Jensen's mouth fell open.

“One month?”

“You already agreed to it.” You giggled when he pouted at you. “Oh don't make that face. You have two hands, use them.”

“What about kissing?”

“I think I can allow kissing.” You chuckled making him sigh in relief.

“I love you and I'm a dumbass for not realising it before.” Your heart swelled in your chest as you heard him say those words back. “And I think Jared is going to earn some betting money in the morning when we walk into the room hand in hand.”

“We are telling everyone about us? So no secret meetings?”

“No secret meetings. I will shout it from the rooftops that you're mine because like I told you, I want you with all the strings attached.”

Feedback is highly appreciated!

[thetvmoviefan]

Nabrina Fanfics Part 11 (Winter Solstice Update)

Sabrina Spellman & Nicholas Scratch (Nick Scratch) FanFics MASTERLIST (UPDATEABLE PINNABLE)

Updated: December 21, 2020

It’s official ONLY 10 more days till Part 4 of CAOS and we get the show back for the last time. As we wait countdown here are some fantastic Nabrina Fics by some wickedly good writers. Escape into their amazing and magical creations through their amazing writing as we wait on a final part. Make sure to leave some Love/Praise or Kudos through the comments on their work. Or maybe given them a little message to how much you enjoy their stories, they have been the real heroes through this Nabrina/CAOS hiatus.

As always have a Wicked or Hell-ish these fics and ENJOY!!!!

Fics in order by Last Update: 9/20/2020

[Key: AU=Alternate Reality - AH=All Human/All Mortal - * = New Fics to List]

1. “Never Really Over”*

Author: Miss_Kath90

Summary: Sabrina Spellman wanted nothing more than to have a normal life and to achieve it, she accidentally had caused a time paradox that had allowed two of her to coexist in the same timeline.One, living in Greendale with her family and friends. The other, reigning over the infernal court in Hell.She could finally have (almost) everything she ever wanted but nothing in Sabrina's life was simple or normal…A new threat looms over Greendale.And she would need all the help she could get to stop it.Especially Nicholas Scratch's, even though every time they are in the same room the weight of their shattered romance filled the air and threatened with crush them. Rated M - Chapters 12/? - Last Update 12/20/2020

2. “Another Year”*

Author: shotgunkitten @shotgunkitten

Summary: Nick wanted to get his hands on his grandfather's journals for years and now his grandmother named her conditions: He gets the journals when he's in a steady relationship. Jumping at the opportunity to finally study his grandfather's research, he tells his grandmother that he has a girlfriend. The problem: He doesn't. Who better to ask than Sabrina to help him out and pretend to be his girlfriend while his grandmother is visiting for the Yule celebrations? Rated T - Chapters 3/? - Last Update 12/19/2020

3. “Under the mistletoe”*

Author: Miss_Kath90 @misskath90

Summary:  Nick and Sabrina meet at Spellman's Christmas party throughout the years. Rated T - Chapters 1/1 - One Shot - Last Update 12/18/2020

4. “Sins of the Father”*

Author: willowaus @willowaus

Summary:  In a Greendale where Edward Spellman was given the chance to see his manifesto play out, Sabrina Spellman works to traverse the world her father created for her, walking that fine line between mortal and witch, trying to integrate them both. It’s not enough that she has to maintain that Spellman image while trying to juggle the Weird Sisters, her friends, and an annoyingly hot warlock, Nick Scratch. She also has to deal with the fact that someone or something doesn’t want her to make it to her seventeenth birthday. Rated M - Chapters 9/? - Last Update 12/18/2020

5. “Of Gingerbread and Snow Globes”*

Author: sarahkwut @sarahwyland

Summary: Nicholas Scratch begrudgingly helps his grandmother move back to her hometown of Greendale. He's got a high powered job and is used to the big city lifestyle. The small town life isn't for him, but he promised his grandmother he would stay through the holidays. Enter, Sabrina Spellman, international journalist and soon-to-be author who happens to love Greendale - and all of its holiday traditions. She's not trying to change Nick's mind about the place, but they do seem to keep crossing paths... Rated M - Chapters 3/? - Last Update 12/18/2020

6. “yuletide blessings”*

Author: bunivy @bunivys

Summary:  Journalist and hopeless romantic Sabrina heads home for the holidays with an assignment: write the perfect article on a small town Christmas to capture the spirit of the holidays. Things start off right when her aunt Hilda performs a bit of tea reading which suggests romance in Sabrina’s future, and she gets a call from one Harvey Kinkle, friend and childhood crush, asking her out on a date to the local Christmas Market. Hilda’s tea never lies and this could really be it. He could be it. To her surprise, she runs into a spellbinding bookseller at the market who seems to be on a quest of his own and before Sabrina knows it, she’s wrapped up in the mystery and holiday joy of it all. Along the way, she comes to learn that maybe there's still some new magic to be discovered in old Greendale, after all. Rated M - Chapters 2/? - Last Update 12/17/2020

7. “Illicit Affairs”*

Author: thoughtsaboutshows @thoughtsaboutshows

Summary:  She had never really meant for it to start. It wasn’t like her, the secret meetings, hushed whispers, and built up lies. But there was something about all of it that dragged her under the current and swept her up that she couldn’t deny or ignore. It was never her intention to start an affair with Nicholas Scratch. Though it was somewhat of an inevitability. From the minute they met, a line in the sand was drawn and they spent the better part of two years trying not to come closer to it. But the magnetic pull between them was undeniable, and soon the line in the sand was just as messed up as their sheets. She hadn’t planned it, and the second she let her guard down they’d both fallen into a hole they couldn't quite climb out of. She’d been sleeping with Nick for months and talked to him about more things than she never dared to with Harvey. Harvey.The highschool sweetheart she couldn’t let go. Or rather she couldn’t admit the relationship was failing, because she wasn’t a quitter. But she couldn’t seem to quit Nick either. Rated M - Chapters 8/? - Last Update 12/16/2020

8. “Off The Record - One Shots”

Author: sarahkwut @sarahwyland

Summary: Missing scenes from my completed piece, 'Off The Record.' AU/AH - Not Rated - Chapters 9/? - Last Update 12/14/2020

9. “If You Let Me”

Author: bunivy aka @bunivys

Summary: After pouring all of her time and effort into obtaining a law degree in the city, Sabrina Spellman moves back to Greendale for one last summer before she departs for good. She's fully intent on enjoying her stay in her hometown, even deciding to pick up a part-time job at her Aunt Hilda's cafe to save up some money. The only problem is that the boy in the bookstore across the way is one she's had some not-so-good history with and it's becoming increasingly harder to ignore him. Before long, she finds herself exploring the complexities of old high-school grudges and what-ifs, all while trying to sort out her present-day relationship with the boy she has long since deemed as non-existent.Meanwhile, Nicholas Scratch wonders if it would just be easier to remain non-existent. AU/AH - Rated M - Chapters 30/? - Last Update 12/10/2020

10. “Let’s Fall in Love for the Night”

Author: shotgunkitten @shotgunkitten

Summary: Hilda Spellman once said that their meeting was fate. And while neither Sabrina Spellman nor Nicholas Scratch were sure if they believed in that kind of thing, they were sure of this: They never wanted to find out what their lives would be like without each other. AU/AH- Rated T - Chapters 17/? - Last Update 12/08/2020

11. “Wicked Winds”

Author: sarahkwut @sarahwyland

Summary: Nicholas Scratch winds up at the Academy of Unseen Arts after being kicked out of several others for being too smart - and too powerful - for his own good. He’s got a chip on his shoulder and he’s not in Greendale to make friends. But then he meets Sabrina Spellman, a witch that’s not only beautiful, but just as up for breaking the rules as him.Except she wants nothing to do with him.His old friend Prudence places a bet that he can’t get her to give into him - but things get complicated as he not only starts to fall for Sabrina, but a deadly darkness settles over Greendale. Rated M - Chapters 23/23 - COMPLETED 12/04/2020

12. “Wintertime Love”*

Author: sweetjs

Summary:  Sabrina and Nick celebrate both Winter Solstice and Christmas through the years. Rated G - Chapters 1/1 - One Shot 12/04/2020

13. “p is for passion, n is for not this again”*

Author: Unseemingowl @unseemingowl

Summary: In which Nick is very passionate about the Baxter High encyclopaedia section and Sabrina Spellman can never just get one day of peace and quiet and making out. Rated M - Chapters 1/1 - One Shot 12/03/2020

14. “Soft Place To Land”*

Author: shotgun kitten @shotgunkitten

Summary: A collection of short Nabrina one shots based on fluff prompts on tumblr. Rated T - Chapters 14/? - One Shots 11/26/2020

15. “my greatest grief, my deepest desire”*

Author: bunny @bunivys

Summary: She could put her hand out and touch Nick, but she couldn’t hold him, couldn’t kiss him, couldn’t slot her nose into the corner of his neck like she had once loved to do. Couldn’t run her fingers through his curls, hear him sigh against her lips. Could be the first person Nick loved, but not the last. Rated M - Chapters 14/4 - One Shots 11/21/2020

16. “I almost do”*

Author: Miss_Kath90 @misskath90

Summary: Nick and Sabrina dance at Hilda's wedding. Rated T - Chapters 1/1 - One Shot 11/17/2020

17. “Before the Devil Breaks Me”

Author: willowaus @willowaus

Summary: All Sabrina wants to do is enjoy the last few years with her mortal friends. Attend college, party a little too hard, and make endless memories with them. But when you're a Spellman nothing ever goes as planned, especially not when she meets her handsomely mischievous classmate, Nick Scratch, who introduces her to a side of witchcraft that she's never thought possible.When people start ending up murdered in ritual sacrifices on campus Sabrina knows she can't keep both of her worlds apart any longer. Especially when it seems each murder is a message for her. AU - Rated Mature - Chapters 31/31 - COMPLETED 11/17/2020

18. “whispers in the white wind”*

Author: bunny @bunivys

Summary: Nick had no one to knit him scarves and Sabrina didn’t mind sharing.(a collection of tumblr winter fluff prompts.) Rated T - Chapters 7/7 - One Shots 11/13/2020

19. “For Fluffs Sake, Angst-hole”*

Author: thoughtsaboutshows @thoughtsaboutshows

Summary: This is a collection of short writings/scenes from an ask I did on Tumblr for Nabrina!It used to be all fluff, but now there's some agnsty ones in there too! Not Rated - Chapters 23/23 - Last Update12/07/2020

20. “Haunted Herat”*

Author: shotgunkitten @shotgunkitten

Summary: Sabrina ran through the woods, tree branches crashing to the ground in front of her, grasping at her. Roots digging themselves out of the wet soil, wrapping around her calves, dragging her to the ground. She set them on fire, the angry, high-pitched screams of the trees filling the air as Sabrina got up, looking over her shoulder. She could see torches in the dark, coming closer. “Find that witch!” a male voice bellowed, others chiming in, faint calls of “Burn the witch!” following. Rated T - Chapters 1/1 - One Shot 10/31/2020

21. “Cruel Summer”

Author: thoughtsaboutshows @thoughtsaboutshows

Summary: A mix between AU and Cannon, where the young members of the Church of Night also attend Baxter High. The young witches and warlocks then go to the Unseen Arts Summer Camp to bolster their gifts. However Sabrina, being half mortal, only began attending after her Dark Baptism. To the mortals of Greendale, Unseen Arts Camp was for the wealthy. An elite sector of the Baxter High youth that attended a camp deep in the Greendale Wood far upstream of Sweetwater River. Many had tried to find and break in, but none have succeeded. To the mortals, the divide between the camp attendees and the not was of money and status. When in fact, the difference lay with light vs. night.Set between two timelines- the present and the summer, Sabrina attends camp for the first time and grows closer to Nick only for them to be torn apart as school starts. Rated Mature - Chapters 27/27 - COMPLETED 10/27/2020

22. “in a dream, a thousand years ago”*

Author: bunny @bunivys

Summary: It’s a painful thing to be a songbird with no one to serenade, and maybe he knows that, too.(part of the anti-soulmates au; Nick and Sabrina meet in a bar) Not Rated - Chapters 1/1 - One Shot 10/22/2020

23. “Born To Love You”

Author: thoughtsaboutshows aka @thoughtsaboutshows

Summary: So Sabrina left Harvey at the altar for Nick. What now? Tune in for snapshots into Nick and Sabrina's life now that they've admitted their true feelings. What happened after Sabrina left Harvey and ran to Nick? Did they live happily ever after?This will be a collection of snapshots of this version of Nick and Sabrina. I don't know how often it will be updated, but we will get a look into their life together.I enjoy writing my fics based on songs, so if a particular song screams this Nick and Sabrina to you please message me on tumblr or comment below and maybe I'll write a scene based on it! ****Follow up to One-Shot Marry Me. Go READ it first!**** AU/AH - Not Rated - Chapters 4/? - Last Update 9/24/20

24. “Unwritten”

Author: Miss_Kath90 aka @misskath90

Summary: Tired of her aunt’s matchmaking attempts, Sabrina decides to tell a little white lie… and now she needs a boyfriend to accompany her to her hometown for the holidays.And who better to play that part than her good friend Nicholas Scratch? There is only one little problem… He had a crush on her since the day they met. When two friends pretend to be in a relationship, what could possibly go wrong? Rated T - Chapters 10/10 - COMPLETED 9/22/2020

25. "Free Pour”

Author: sarahkwut @sarahwyland

Summary: He's a bartender with a perfect free pour and a Ph.D. candidate. She thinks she wants to be a lawyer and wishes she had taken more chances in life. Both of them are trying to move on. But when their paths collide, Nick's hand is no longer steady with the bottle and she's far more willing to take a risk. AU/AH - Rated Mature - Chapters 23/23 - COMPLETED 9/01/2020

26. "Burning House”*

Author: thoughtsaboutshows @thoughtsaboutshows

Summary: Sabrina hasn't seen him in months but she still sees him everywhere. Nick sees her every night in his dreams. They both know what they want, but won't let the other have it. Not yet. Not when Nick will hardly talk to her and Sabrina used well...THAT candle... ONE-SHOT - Not Rated - Chapters 1/1 - Last Update 8/28/2020

27. “The Four Pictures”

Author: Copper_16

Summary: It’s been 10 years. Nick and Sabrina are teachers at the Academy along with some familiar faces. It’s been a decade there can’t be that much chaos anymore, right? Wrong. Rated T - Chapters 4/? - Last Update 8/04/2020

28. “Marry Me”*

Author: thoughtsaboutshows @thoughtsaboutshows

Summary: “No, No, No.” Nick said as he shook his head at Prudence. “Sabrina is my best friend. That’s it.”“Sure.” Prudence shrugged her shoulders.When she explained to her brother that they were likely more she had said it as a statement, not an invitation to have a conversation about it. She was entirely annoyed by the Spellman girl, and had found it odd and irritating that she and her brother had been attached at the hip from a young age.“Besides she’s marrying Kinkle, Prudence.” Nick explained more to himself than to Prudence. His eyes were wild and looking around the room, searching for something to land on. “Not me.”“Do you want her to?” Prudence asked as she leaned forward. Nick paused, unsure how to answer that question. Nick had been in love with Sabrina Spellman for most of his life. But she was happy with Harvey Kinkle. Prudence rolled her eyes and stood up sighing, and placed a hand on Nick’s shoulder. She was rarely affectionate and this was as comforting as she got. “You may want to figure that out.” AU/AH - Rated Mature - ONE-SHOT - Chapters 1/1 - Last Update 7/11/2020

29. “The Chaos In the Stars”

Author: willowaus @willowaus

Summary: Nick sacrificed himself to save her, but Sabrina's not about to let him fester away in Hell. But what happens when saving the one she loves brings about a series of apocalyptic events that Sabrina and the rest of the Spellman clan need to thwart?Alternate part 3. (Part 3 Fic) - Rated Mature - Chapters 24/24 - COMPLETED 6/30/2020

30. “A Little Wicked”

Author: Miss_Kath90 aka @misskath90

Summary: Sometimes, in the darkness of her room, unable to sleep, she thought about how easy it would be to fall in love with him. And she was sure a part of her was a bit in love with him already, but she kept holding to the past and that was hurting them both. Rated Mature - Chapters 1/1 - Last Update 6/16/2020

31. “Crash Into Me”

Author: thoughtsaboutshows @thoughtsaboutshows

Summary: Set after Part 3 and some time after Nick and Sabrina's breakup. Just a little one-shot of a mission they get sent on by Zelda. Tough conversations and some tears...and one bed ONE-SHOT - Not Rated - Chapters 1/1 - Last Update 6/15/2020

32. “Heaven can’t help me now”

Author: bunivy @bunivys

Summary: Soulmates are a universal law, the way of life. Sabrina's soulmate is Harvey, but she'll pick Nick every time, in every way. ONE-SHOT - Not Rated - Chapters 1/1 - Last Update 6/13/2020

33. “I knew you were trouble”

Author: Miss_Kath90 aka @misskath90

Summary: Sabrina didn’t know that being away from home for the first time could be so hard.Away from her aunts, friends and her-lifelong-boyfriend, Sabrina have to deal with the nostalgia but also with the new challenges College's life mean: get used to share a room with a not-so-nice roommate, put up with long hours of study and very few of sleep, learn to live from pre-cooked meals instead of her aunt Hilda’s homemade ones, find balance between her studies and her new social life… And resist the temptation a certain Nicholas Scratch mean for her. AU/AH - Rated Mature - Chapters 28/28 - COMPLETED 6/06/2020

34. “A Thing or Two to Learn”

Author: gracefulchaos

Summary: What if Sabrina and Nick weren't in the same coven, and they met each other later in life? AU - Rated Mature - Chapters 1/? - Last Update 6/06/2020

35. “When the Bones are Good”

Author: sarahkwut @sarahwyland

Summary: Sabrina Spellman is enjoying her life as a normal teenager. Sabrina Morningstar is reigning Hell with an iron fist. Ambrose Spellman is searching for a solution to bring them back together and close the time loop, Sabrina's wishes be damned. And Nicholas Scratch? He's faced down his own demons and he's desperate for redemption.Except the clock is ticking.On time and Terrors. (Part 4 Fic) - Rated General - Chapters 28/28 - COMPLETED 6/05/2020

36. “Bury a Lie”

Author: raeinthedark

Summary: Sabrina is comfortable with death. It's her job. But everything is changed on a rainy October morning. The life and work she was accustomed to are forever different in the wake of tragedy. There really isn't coming back from this, unless she can figure out who's behind it. AU/AH - Rated Mature - Chapters 3/? - Last Update 5/04/2020

37. “I run to you”

Author: thoughtsaboutshows @thoughtsaboutshows

Summary: Nick and Sabrina love two things. Research and each other. But their research often takes them to far away places, and far away from the person they love most. AU/AH - Not Rated - Chapters 1/1 - One-Shot COMPLETED - 5/21/2020

38. “My Body Is A Canvas For Your Love”

Author: Unseemingowl aka @unseemingowl

Summary: Sabrina had no love for the whip or the belt or the cane that Nick had used to enjoy so much, but restraints... That was another matter entirely. Rated E Mature - Chapters 1/1 - Last Update 4/29/2020

39. ”Ground Beneath Her Feet”

Author: mindlesshappy aka @feministstree

Summary: Sabrina is born out of a miracle - one that she wishes would repeat for her, but when she is destined for someone else, how much can she resist before her heart decides to give in. Alternatively, Nick is Sabrina's soulmate, but she really just wants Harvey to be it. Also, in the backseat are all the other possible ships, getting their own soulmate glories. Rated T - Chapters 18/? - Last Update 4/17/2020

40. “in your eyes (there's something burning inside you)”

Author: jessequicksters

Summary: Nicholas falls in love with Sabrina as fast as a mortal sells their soul to the devil. The only problem is, in the Church of Night, everything has a price. Even love.Especially love.(He bleeds every time he dreams of Sabrina and when they kiss, it happens too, but love isn't supposed to hurt, right? Except he's never known about love; the only thing he knows is that this half-mortal is going to be the death of him.) Rated Mature - Chapters 5/5 - Last Update 3/22/2020

41. “The Institute for Divine Craft”

Author: rayo aka @its-nabrina-bitch

Summary: After a humiliating spat with Father Blackwood pushes Sabrina away from her witching life and the Academy, Madam Satan crafts an alternative solution to move Sabrina Spellman further down the path of night. Ultimately leading her to the Institute for the Divine Craft. A handsome Headmaster with mysterious ties to her father, convinces Sabrina to abandon her mortal life, and cultivate her abilities as a child of the Church of Lucifer. AU - Rated Mature - Chapters 19/? - Last Update 3/22/2020

42. “My Lover of Blood and Milk”

Author: Unseemingowl aka @unseemingowl

Summary: It didn’t feel as though it had only been a few hours since she had made her way to the Greendale woods for Lupercalia. As she sat there, shivering in her muddied and bloodied silk slip, it felt as if a completely different person had made her way back out of the forest...... Or how Sabrina struggles with lust and trust after her disastrous Lupercalian night with Nick. Rated Mature - Chapters 4/4 - Last Update 3/15/2020

43. “I Need to Know”

Author: raeinthedark

Summary: Love isn't that easy to erase... and that song is on again. Rated General - Chapters 1/1 - Last Update 2/29/2020

44. “Be True To Your School”

Author: rayo aka @its-nabrina-bitch

Summary: Nicholas Scratch is the Golden Boy™ of Baxter High; star athlete, top of his class academically, and devastatingly handsome. Sabrina Spellman sees Sophomore year as an opportunity to expand her horizons; joining the cheerleading squad, running for student council, and making new friends along the way while working to maintain her relationships with her old friends. What Sabrina Spellman doesn't know: sophomore year is about to turn her world upside-down. Rated T - Chapters 6/? - Last Update 2/23/2020

45. “Ocean”

Author: sarahkwut

Summary: AU, M-Rated. Nicholas Scratch has everything working in his favor. He's got a decent job as a history teacher, his roommate Melvin is always up for video games and getting high, and Sabrina Spellman lets him mess up her sheets frequently. Sabrina knows Nick isn't good for her, but she can't stay away, no matter how hard it is to pretend she's completely okay with their casual arrangement. But when life takes an unexpected curve, Nick is forced to face a new normal he doesn't know how to navigate. And Sabrina may or may not be there to help him through it. AU/AH - Rated Mature - Chapters 27/27 - COMPLETED 2/10/2020

46. “I’ll be there”

Author: Miss_Kath90 aka @misskath90

Summary: She couldn’t stop looking at him, since she had recovered him from the claws of the Dark Lord, she felt unable to be apart from him and had to admit that part of her was afraid he would disappear if she moved from his side. And Sabrina wouldn't let anyone or anything separate him from her again. Never. Rated Mature - Chapters 1/1 - Last Update 1/30/2020

47. “Walk away”

Author: Miss_Kath90 aka @misskath90

Summary: Pain. Could he someday escape the pain? He sometimes thought it impossible. It was strange, his relationship with the pain, it was an enemy and a friend. The pain numbed him. The pain didn’t let him sleep. The pain hurt him and soothed him. It was unhealthy, the way the pain helped him relieve the pain. But it was the only thing he had left. Rated T - Chapters 1/1 - Last Update 1/27/2020

48. “To Hell and Back”

Author: sarahkwut

Summary: Sabrina was successful in her efforts to retrieve Nick from Hell, but the damage - physical and emotional - is deep. Sometimes, the only way to heal is to go your separate ways and trust things will work themselves out in the end. (Written before Part 3 - an alternate take on how Nick recovers from his time in Hell - with and without Sabrina). Rated Mature - Chapters 3/3 - Last Update 1/26/2020

49. “The Morning(star) After”

Author: rayo aka @its-nabrina-bitch

Summary: A Painful NickxSabrina Reunion Rated T - Chapters 1/3 - Last Update 1/24/2020

50. “My only love sprung from my only hate”

Author: filmharlot

Summary: High School AU where Nick is based on the version of him that Sabrina creates in her dream during the Batibat episode. Harvey and Sabrina have broken up and don't want to work together on the Romeo and Juliet assignment in Drama class, so she ends up being partners with Nick AU - Not Rated - Chapters 8/? - Last Update 1/19/2020

51. “A very witchy Christmas”

Author: Miss_Kath90 aka @misskath90

Summary: Just a bit of silly Christmas fluff that I couldn’t help but write, placed in the series universe after a huge jump in time. Not Rated - Chapters 1/1 - Last Update 12/25/2019

52. “Mortal Little Christmas”

Author: HeartsInJeopardy

Summary: ‘Twas the night before Christmas – and the first for Nick Scratch - but Sabrina’s holiday movie was not a good match. Rated T - Chapters 2/2 - Last Update 12/21/2019

53. “Lessons in the Unseen”

Author: bunivy aka @bunivys

Summary: Academy Teachers AU. Sabrina Spellman lives as simple a life as a half-mortal half-witch can. Despite her dislike for the headmaster, she enjoys spending her time teaching Ritual Magic at the Academy of Unseen Arts, hoping to positively shape the minds of young witches and warlocks. However, with the sudden dreadful announcement of her aunt Zelda's engagement and the appearance of one mysterious - and strikingly handsome - Nicholas Scratch, Sabrina finds that her life is not so simple anymore. Or all that safe. AU - Rated Mature - Chapters 32/32 - COMPLETED 12/17/2019

54. “Just a Little Obsessed”

Author: eyerys

Summary: Nicholas has developed a tinie-tiny crush on Sabrina. Nothing like major or whatever. It's not like he thinks about her all the time or daydreams about what it would be like to be with her or how cool she is. No, not at all.Sabrina doesn't have a crush on Nick. No, not at all. Uh-uh. She has Harvey. Sweet and loving Harvey Kinkle. But for some reason, she can't help but find her mind wandering. Rated T - Chapters 1/1 - Last Update 12/13/2019

55. “As The Moon Rises”

Author: venzaren

Summary: Sabrina Spellman is tired.Tired of living a double life. Tired of facing discrimination at the hands of her pack. Tired of dealing with her status as an Omega. And most of all, she's tired of people hounding her about finding her mate.Then Nick Scratch returns to Greendale. AU - Rated General - Chapters 1/? - Last Update 12/07/2019

56. “Thirteen Memories”

Author: tempestbreak

Summary: (Set at the end of Season 2) Sabrina and her friends go to Hell and rescue Nick -- but what happens when that's the easy part?It turns out, having the Dark Lord inside your mind for months can do some damage, and Nick comes back different. His memories of the events leading up to his sacrifice, including his relationship with Sabrina, are gone. How can Sabrina help him regain his memories of their time together when she's not even sure she trusts her own? Rated Mature - Chapters 6/? - Last Update 11/02/2019

57. “But The Greatest Is Love”

Author: sarahkwut

Summary: The acheron captured Lucifer Morningstar, but their problems are far from over. The coven is decimated, the Church of Night is no more, Father Blackwood is on the run, and Nick and Sabrina's relationship is in ruins. How do they pick up the pieces and move on? There are more questions than answers and the consequences could be of biblical proportions. Rated Mature - Chapters 25/25 - COMPLETED 10/28/2019

58. “Back to You”

Author: nadiaselite

Summary: Sabrina brings Nick back from hell. Rated T - Chapters 1/1 - Last Update 10/11/2019

59. “The Open Road”

Author: paradiamond

Summary: Nick wants her back, and he’s willing to do whatever it takes. In fact, he insists on it. Rated T - Chapters 1/1 - Last Update 9/22/2019

60. “The words “I love you” aren’t enough”

Author: Miss_Kath90

Summary: “Look at me, Nick” he was reluctant but when he finally looked up she took his face in her hands making him unable to look away “What you did that day… Nick, you sacrificed yourself for my sake, even when I mistreated you and told you all those horrible things. You did it for me, because you love me… Don’t you see? You’re incapable of being evil.”Or... Sabrina gets her boyfriend back but things don’t go as smoothly as she thinks they will. Rated Mature - Chapters 1/1 - Last Update 9/22/2019

61. “Mission: Let’s get my boyfriend back”

Author: My_Evak_Heart

Summary: Sabrina and the Fright Club ventures on their first mission: getting Nick back from Hell Not Rated - Chapters 1/1 - Last Update 9/7/2019

62. “Jealousy is a killer”

Author: Melissa1226

Summary: Will Sabrina and Nick Start something new? and who is watching them from the shadow full of jealousy? Rated Mature - Chapters 8/? - Last Update 8/28/2019

63. “The Jock”

Author: mikaila_ealum

Summary: An Alternate Universe where Nicholas Scratch is Baxter High’s quarterback along with one of the most popular boys at school. With few knowing the truth, Scratch is living a double life as a warlock at the Academy of Unseen Arts. Sabrina takes a hiatus from the Academy to get more in touch with her mortal side. When Sabrina gets back she becomes partners with Nicholas for a project in theatre class. AU - Chapters 8/? - Last Update 8/07/2019

64. “act 5, scene 2 (thou and i are too wise to woo peaceably)”

Author: ghostemo aka @wickedscratch

Summary: When Sabrina Spellman rose to a challenge issued by Prudence Night, she never imagined she’d actually make the varsity cheer squad - or that doing so would upend life as she knew it. Now she has to navigate her new role within the social hierarchy of hell -er Baxter High as well as trying to get her boyfriend to actually communicate. It certainly doesn’t help that she’s been paired up with the annoyingly handsome Nicholas Scratch, captain of Greendale’s beloved football team, for a project in her theater class. It’s exactly as, if not more so, cliche as it sounds. AU/AH - Rated T - Chapters 3/? - 7/25/2019

65. “Off the Record”

Author: sarahkwut

Summary: AU. Detective Nicholas Scratch left New York for Greendale in desperate need of a change of scenery. The small town takes some getting used to, but local reporter Sabrina Spellman quickly grabs his attention. It's the fresh start he needed until Greendale's residents start turning up dead. With a murderer on the loose, no one is innocent - and anyone might be next. AU/AH - Rated Mature - Chapters 29/29 - COMPLETED 7/22/2019

66. “Bring You Close To Me”

Author: BridgetMcKennitt

Summary: Sabrina and her friends managed to bring Nicholas back from Hell. There was a lot the two of them needed to discuss, but tonight, they had this. Rated E Mature - Chapters 1/1 - One Shot - Last Update 7/13/2019

67. “A Brief Moment”

Author: bunivy aka @bunivys

Summary: Ever since he's returned from Hell, Nicholas Scratch has been having nightmares. With help from Aunt Hilda, Sabrina unknowingly shows him a light and for a moment, Nicholas knows everything will be okay. Rated General - Chapters 1/1 - One Shot - Last Update 6/24/2019

68. “To Hell and Back”

Author: swtnerdgirl

Summary: A year has passed since Sabrina and her friends rescued Nick from Hell. No one came back the same. They all had their scars. Some emotionally. Some physically. In the days leading to Hilda's wedding, they all prepare for their lives to change and heal their wounds. Rated Mature - Chapters 16/? - Last Update 6/06/2019

69. “Dead Witch Walking”

Author: rayo aka @its-nabrina-bitch

Summary: Faced with the possibility of being harrowed to death by her classmates, Sabrina finds an escape. Rated E Mature - Chapters 1/1 - One Shot - Last Update 5/26/2019

70. “Moonlight Beneath Rough Lips”

Author: ivylikeveins

Summary: After the encounter with the thirteen witches of Greendale, Sabrina enters the dining hall with moonlight locks bathed in soft blue hues, and Nick does not know what to do. He ends up with a soft and small Sabrina pressed into his chest, sleeping, and wrapped around his very much over-sized jacket with Nick's lips pressed into the soft, pearly strands he wants his soul to get entangled within. Rated Mature - Chapters 1/1 - One Shot - Last Update 5/19/2019

71. “The Hunt”

Author: OnlyInAutumn

Summary: Nick howled into the night, up at the stars to signify that he was ready on the eve of Lupercalia, the darkness of midnight around them. The first sound of the horn sent them into the forest. The hunt had begun. Rated E Mature - Chapters 1/1 - One Shot - Last Update 5/11/2019

72. “Secrets, Secrets are no Fun”

Author: filmharlot

Summary: Sabrina is the new kid for the first time in her life. Choosing to go to the Academy full-time seems to be a hard transition than she was expecting. With the Weird Sisters harassment at an all-time high, dealing with leaving her mortal friend's and condescending teachers, Sabrina is suffering. She's not even allowed to have Salem for comfort. It's not all bad though. She is finally free to do magic whenever she wants, and there's a charming warlock who is being particularly nice to her. Plus, someone is leaving kind gifts on her bed at the end of the night. She just wishes she knew who it was. Not Rated - Chapters 1/? - Last Update 5/06/2019

73. “Unsettled Nighttime Creatures”

Author: mindlesshappy

Summary: We all know Sabrina is going to save Nick. This is how Nick reacts to being saved - which, spoilers alert - is like a very stupid warlock. Rated T - Chapters 5/5 - Completed 4/25/2019

74. “Selfless”

Author: sarahwut

Summary: Sabrina Spellman dragged Nicholas Scratch back from Hell. But Hell might be better than a world in which they aren't together. Rated General - Chapters 1/1 - One Shot - Completed 4/23/2019

75. “Homecoming”

Author: cherrystems

Summary: After several months Sabrina is able to get Nick back from Hell with the help of her family and friends. However, Nick has to adjust to Earth again while dealing with PTSD and anxiety. This tells the story of the growth of Sabrina and Nick's relationship over the recovery time. Not Rated - Chapters 3/? - Last Update 4/20/2019

76. “Under Your Spell”

Author: londonmarie

Summary: Sabrina doesn't hesitate to have her Dark Baptism and things go differently. Rated T - Chapters 10/? - Last Update 4/18/2019

77. “Photographs”

Author: Greyowl9831

Summary: It's been at least 150 years since Sabrina signed her name in the Book of the Beast. One day she finds an old photo album. Will the memories it contains be a great walk down memory lane or will it be more than she can bare? Not Rated - Chapters 4/? - Last Update 4/14/2019

78. “An itch That Needed Scratching”

Author: umbrellacorp

Summary: What if Nick slayed his familiar and Sabrina and Nick got to experience the last night of the Lupercalia festival alone. Tonight, Sabrina would be transformed. Nick was going to show her power that she never knew she had, an innate carnal power. They were about to become the most powerful union of the Church of Night. Rated E Mature - Chapters 1/1 - One Shot - Last Update 4/13/2019

79. “and I keep waiting (but I won’t say I’m waiting)”

Author: lost_n_stereo @lost-n-stereo

Summary: You would think that it would hurt less as the days go by, since it’s been nearly two years since Nick sacrificed himself for the greater good and Lilith took him to hell. Except, he didn’t sacrifice himself for the greater good, he sacrificed himself for her. And that makes it a hell of a lot tougher to let go. Rated General - Chapters 1/1 - One Shot - Last Update 4/10/2019

80. “Fire”

Author: OnlyInAutumn

Summary: Their power—together—was overwhelming. It was something that she had not felt either, the consuming feeling of expanding power. It was entirely addicting. Rated Mature - Chapters 2/2 - Completed 3/24/2019

81. “something I can believe”

Author: Anry

Summary: Missing scene after Sabrina's baptism. I wouldn't say that it's really a relationship here, just conversation. Rated General - Chapters 1/1 - One Shot - Last Update 1/25/2019

AND THERE YOU GO!!!! Have fun everyone, if I missed any Fics or you have any recommendations for the list message me or send in a ask and I’ll add it to the list. Can’t wait for Part 4 and Enjoy <3333

[shawnssongs]

𝐆𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 ⋄ 𝐉𝐉 𝐌𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐤

02. 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠

It’s the first day of senior year (also we’re just going to pretend they’re all seniors in high school, the pogues and the kooks, including Rafe at Kildaire County High)

series masterlist 01.

an: sorry this chapter is kind of boring! I promise there’ll be more action in the next one :)

warnings: typos, probably wc: 1.4k ish

thanks @jjmaybankx for the moodboard!

It was finally here. The first day of senior year. JJ never cared much about school since it had never been on his list of priorities, but he always loved the first day. He’d usually spend all summer working or hanging out with his friends, so being the social butterfly that he is, he loved catching up with everyone else that he really only saw at school. Plus, at this point, he needed to catch up with his own friends as well. He felt like he hadn’t seen John B, Kie, Pope, and Sarah in months, and other than a few “hey”s here and there, he truly hadn’t.

John B was the same way. Ever since finding out what happened to his father, he’d gotten back on track with his education. His grades improved junior year, especially with the help of Sarah Cameron. John B was ready to catch up with his friends, but he was really just waiting for JJ. His best friend had been MIA all summer.

“John B!” Kiara greeted with open arms when she noticed her best friend standing next to his beaten up Volkswagen.

John B accepted the hug gladly.

Sure, JJ had been absent, but John B had also admittedly been spending more time with Sarah than with the rest of the pogues.

“Where ya been?” He asked her with a smile.

“Around,” Kiara chided, “unlike you, lover boy.”

John B chuckled at Kie when he noticed Pope approaching. They all greeted each other, catching up a bit when Pope asked where Sarah was.

John B shrugged in response. “Met a new girl. She told me she was going to show her around.”

“Sarah loves strays,” Kiara acknowledged.

“There he is!” Pope cheered, gazing behind John B and Kiara at the missing member of their group.

“Man of the hour!”

“Where have you been?” John B asked when JJ was close enough, reaching his hand out for a quick hug.

Kiara prodded. “Yeah, what have you been doing all summer?”

JJ just smiled, playing it off. “I was hanging around at the beach.”

“So were we.” Pope added.

“Guess we didn’t cross paths.” JJ shrugged.

“Or you were too busy checking out tourons to talk to your friends.” Kiara crossed her arms across her chest accusatorily.

“Nah, I did meet this one cool chick though.”

John B noticed the little twinkle in his eyes. “You mean she put out?” He asked, earning a punch in the arm from Kiara and a glare from Pope.

“Is that all you ever think about?” Sarcasm dripped through JJ’s voice. Clearly, he was the one with that reputation, not John B.

The group continues to giggle like children and tease each other as they caught up outside Kildaire County High.

Meanwhile, Sarah Cameron had been incredibly helpful to you so far. You met her just a few days ago when you found out you’d be staying in the Outer Banks instead of moving back home. She agreed to meet you early and show you around the school a bit so you wouldn’t be too lost on your first day.

“Do I look okay, Sarah?” You ask her, noticing all the students walking around in cut off shorts and crop tops. You weren’t allowed to wear just anything like that back home at your private school, so you really weren’t prepared. In a pair of linen shorts and a button up tee, you felt a bit out of place.

“Sure!”

“I’m really nervous.”

“You look terrific,” she complimented.

“So this is Kildaire County High?” The school seemed surprisingly active. It was small, and rundown, unlike your school back home, and even though your old school was large and daunting, somehow you still felt more intimidated by Kildaire County. The uncertainty was causing your nerves to run rampant.

Sarah gripped your arm to calm you. “I know it’s not much, but you’ll love it. Come on,” she smiled, “I’ll help you find your first class.”

With Sarah’s help, you managed to make it through your first couple classes of the day until it was finally time for lunch. The cafeteria looked run down and dirty, but luckily Sarah pulled you outside to meet Kiara, who she’d described as her best friend.

“Y/n, this is Kiara. Kie, this is Y/n!” Sarah introduced giddily, excited to have another friend to do girly things with like shop and do each other’s hair and makeup. The boys would partake sometimes, but it wasn’t the same. Kiara was just as stunning as Sarah, the two of them contrasting in every way. Kiara’s skin and hair both darker than Sarah’s golden complexion, the straightened strands of Sarah’s light hair next to Kiara’s curls. As beautiful as they were, somehow you didn’t feel envious. You felt content. You felt sure that these two girls were people you wanted to keep around. Back home you never got that feeling. You were always comparing yourself to the other girls, trying to be like them or dress like them because that was what was most desired. Here, with Kie and Sarah, you knew they’d accept you for you, and you weren’t afraid to be yourself, because they clearly weren’t.

“Hey!” Kiara greets, breaking you from your thoughts.

“Hi! It’s nice to meet you!” You smile as she reached out for a hug.

The two girls caught up on each other’s summers a small bit of time since they’d spent most of it together. You gathered that Sarah is dating a cute surfer boy named John B, and Kiara has a thing for a studious kid named Pope. It wasn’t long before Sarah asked you how your summer in the Outer Banks had gone, and boy were you glad to tell.

“I met a boy at the beach.” You boasted, unable to hold back your smile.

The guys ate their lunch by the Volkswagen because Sarah apparently didn’t want them to scare away the new girl she’d befriended. He didn’t mind though. They had a lot of catching up to do.

“Okay, so what happened with that girl you met this summer? Stop playin’ around.” John B asked his friend sternly, not wanting anymore jokes.

“Nothing!” JJ lied, but he knew he couldn’t get away with it.

Pope rolled his eyes. “Sure, nothing.”

“Come on, you guys don’t want to hear all the horny details, right?”

The guys pestered him until he finally gave in.

“Alright! I’ll tell you.”

“Oh he was so romantic!” You gush. “And cute. Really cute.”

The girls ooh and aww as you continue your story.

“He ran by me, showing off, splashing around.”

“She swam by me and got a cramp. I saved her life, man.” JJ embellished. “She almost drowned.”

Pope and John B didn’t believe him, but they let him keep going. “Took her surfing, showed her the ropes.”

“We went strolling along the beach. We stayed out until ten o’clock.”

“We made out under the dock.”

“Then what?” Pope asked.

“We got friendly.” JJ quirked a brow, smirking at his curious friend. “Down in the sand, if you know what I mean.”

“He got friendly, and he held my hand,” you explain to the girls, recalling the memories. “He was sweet. He just turned 18.”

You pause, the girls watching you in anticipation. “It got colder. That’s where it ends. That’s when we made our true love vow.” You knew it’s sounded extreme, but you wouldn’t explain it any other way. You loved JJ Maybank, even if you only got to spend one summer with him, and losing your virginity to JJ was you vowing your love to him.

“Y’know, I told her we’d still be friends.” JJ shrugged. “I wonder what she’s doing now.” He truly did, more than the guys knew. Y/n was the best thing that had ever happened to him, and now she’s just gone, clear on the other side of the States.

“He sounds real nice.” Sarah smiled. She was a hopeless romantic, of course. She loved the story.

You agree. “He was a gentleman.”

“What was his name?” Kiara asked, sure she’d recognize any of the locals.

“JJ. JJ Maybank.”

Kiara noticed Sarah’s eyes widen and just before she was able to tell you, Kiara kicked her leg under the table.

“Maybe if you believe in miracles,” she started, “he’ll show up again, somewhere unexpected.”

“You really think so?”

“Of course!” Sarah chimed in, a bright smile adorning has face.

The six of them went back to class as the bell rung, all blissfully unaware of the events to come.

an: kinda hate this ngl... excited for the next chapter though :) thanks for reading, and please send feedback!

also, ty to now both @milaonthemoon​ and @storiesbymads​ for your spotify playlists that helped while I wrote and edited this :)

tags: add yourself! PLEASE PAY ATTENTION AND SPELL YOUR URL CORRECTLY (or comment if you just want to be tagged in the series) series @talksoprettyjjx @hazelgirl355 @ssjiara @socialwriter @milaonthemoon​ all fics @thatsme-johnbookerroutledge @harrysbbby @maybe-maybanks @maybankdreams @ilovejjmaybank @i-love-scott-mccall @sarahcxmeron @obx-direction-sos @mahleeyuh @jjmeybank @simonsblue @deviouscharitos​ all obx @thelocalpogue​ @maybankiara @ewgrossiknow @poguelifesurfshop @stargazingstarkey @pogxe @t8-er-tot @amanecer-cora @rudths @x-lulu @pixelated-pogues​ @apoguecalledjj @hiddleless @sungieeeeeee @letsgotothehop @tcmhollnd @jjs--whore @jjswhore @miawantsapuppy @talksoprettyjjx @dani-c2 @hemmoemotional @kennedywxlsh @drew-starkey @beth-winchester21​ jj @teamnick​ @everyonesababe​ @infinitydols​ @ritasunflwr​ @jjaybank @theloveofpeterparker strikethrough means it wouldn’t let me tag you, and PLEASE let me know if there are any mistakes. also sorry this looks so weird..

[captain-of-the-historicfuture]

~hello~ !! For the meta asks!: 3, 6, 9, 12, 15, 18, 21, 24, and 25 :))

Hello!! Thank you for sending these; I was really excited to see that ask game and I was hoping somebody would send some in. It still took me a while to actually answer them though, and for that I apologise. But without further ado! Some meta answers (under the cut because they ended up being fairly long, whoops):

3. What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (Consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway.)

I thought of a few examples, but they could basically be grouped together under a common theme: whumpy/angsty scenes that were self-indulgent as all heck. The whole self-indulgent aspect often required the characters to be just the teeniest, tiniest bit OOC and/or necessitated rather unrealistic plot circumstances. So it was simply easier to keep such scenes as maladaptive daydreams, rather than trying to think of explanations for the character/plot issues…or exposing myself to judgement for them LOL.

Receiving permission to write/share one such scene anyway is an opportunity I can’t let slip by though. It might be because I’m writing this while running on zero (0) hours of sleep—let’s hear it for insomnia, y’all!—but I suddenly couldn’t remember any of my newer ideas under this category. However, I did recall a one-shot I had started writing a couple of months ago that sort of counts? “Sort of” because I could actually be arsed to write it since I was, ya know, writing it. Only got about six hundred words down though.

…should I share those six hundred words…?

………nahhh. I don’t think I’m quite ready for that yet.

But here’s the gist of it: Coulson and May (because of course it’s Philinda) were married for quite some time before the Attack on New York. But then Coulson DiedTM and then got ResurrectedTM. But gasp of horror, he had to lose his memories of his romantic relationship with May because reasons. (I actually did have some ideas for those reasons but sshhhh this is about me yeeting context and setup.)

The first half of S1 still happens as normal (except MayWard doesn’t happen because??? Vows) and it’s now post-E20 “Nothing Personal”. The morning after (or a morning soon after, whatever) the T.A.H.I.T.I. reveal! May’s mom—who doesn’t know about GH.325 and whom May fed a cover story about Coulson divorcing her or something equally as oof, IDK—shows up at the hotel and starts ripping into Coulson for breaking her daughter’s heart, then dragging her back into the field with her ex-husband (him), then accusing her of terrible things and forcing her away again.

Poor guy’s confused as heck, and so is the team, and soon enough so is Lian. The only one who understands what’s going on is May, and she’s freaking dying off to the side like why is this happening to me and eventually everybody’s like! Explain??? (Was thinking about including something from Coulson like, “Are you still keeping things from me?” Just for that extra smidge of angst, yay!)

So yeah then May gives a, like, two-sentence debriefing that elicits more questions than answers. Coulson decides to take May aside and they have a heart-to-heart. Lots of feelings and angst and hurt/comfort and at some point plenty of kissing too. Just! May hiding her feelings for Coulson’s sake but really magnified, plus some actual apologies and consideration of the grief May’s been through on Coulson’s part.

And uhh yeah that’s basically it I dunno hdsjncjshd. I warned y’all it’s OOC, plot-bendy, and very self-indulgent!

6. What character do you have the most fun writing?

I don’t think I could name a single character for this. I get different things out of taking on different voices, you know? I guess recently I’ve found myself gravitating towards more taciturn and introspective points of view, like JQ from my original novel Rosewood or M. Yisbon from my…other original novel Temple.

Generally, however, I like tackling stories from an outsider’s perspective. That’s why I so rarely write my more “substantial” (serious? demanding? for lack of better words?) projects from the PoV of my “preferred” character. This usually means writing from their love interest’s perspective, but not always. With shorter fanfic, using a more removed/unconventional/niche PoV can be really fun. Like, I once wrote a canon compliant ficlet purely(-ish) about Philinda from Tony Stark’s perspective. That isn’t always sustainable with stories that demand more character development or closer character studies, however, which is why it’s a good thing I like writing drabbles!

9. Are you more of a drabble or a longfic kind of writer? Pantser or plotter? Do you wish you were the other?

My word counts tend to run long, but I usually only write one-shots for fanfic. If I’m even inspired with a novella- or novel-length story idea for a fandom, you already know I’m in deep with them. And if I actually find the motivation to plan and execute that idea? Dangg. That’s only ever happened…twice, maybe thrice, and I’m in a lot of fandoms.

At times, I wish I could go for more of a middle ground ’cause, like, you know what I love to see? An AO3 dashboard with several completed novellas for my ship/character of choice. I mean yes, I hecking love >90k fics, but sometimes I’m in the mood for quick reads…and what am I supposed to do when I burn through all the drabbles and 2k one-shots? (Besides despair and/or reread my faves desperately.) Novellas are basically always safe for me LOL, and I’d hope to be able to give as much as I take.

Ultimately though, I think I’m okay with where I am with regards to that. I wish I could write more in general, but I’d be okay with “writing more” just meaning “writing more one-shots”, ya know? More than okay, really. I have mad respect for fic writers who have, like, a hundred or more one-shots under their belt for this one ship. The fandom ecosystem would be incomplete without them (as well as every other type of writer, but sshhh that’s the type of writer I’m closest to being right now).

I’m definitely a plotter, and I definitely prefer it that way. It’s cool having such a detailed record of my process. I like feeling like a frazzled genius on the brink of a major discovery with all of my different outlines and colour coding and many drafts and various websites.

12. Do you want your writing to be famous?

Not exactly. It might be cool if my original works were recognisable in the world, but I don’t think I’d want to be recognisable. As for fanfic, I’d low-key enjoy gaining a place in that fandom’s community as a fic writer. Like someone who gave and got fic gifts from fic writer friends, who participated in challenges and GCs, who received writing prompts on Tumblr, whose name was known for doing a certain trope/genre a bunch of times… Ya know what I mean?

Unlikely to happen when I’m so hecking hesitant to publicly (i.e., outside of AO3) claim credit for my writing, but fjnskfsjhfjs. A writer can dream, right?

15. Which is harder: titles or summaries (or tags)?

Of those three, tags are the easiest for me, for I have a reliable system for figuring out those.

Next easiest would probably be titles. For fanfiction, I like to use titles that are a quote from the source material. You should have seen all of my old Hamilton fanfic… I was really proud of some of those titles. And I don’t mean, like, whole lines—usually only two to five words. It’s a unique type of wordplay that I just love dabbling in.

And lastly, summaries. Sometimes inspiration strikes me and a snappy and intriguing synopsis just jumps out—one that I’m quietly pleased with—but most of the time I’ll spend way too long trying to think of such a synopsis and eventually just go with whatever I’d come up with so far. And live with my quiet dissatisfaction for the rest of time.

18. Do any of your stories have alternative versions? (Plotlines that you abandoned, AUs of your own work, different characterisations...?) Tell us about them!

Typically, no. If I have deleted scenes, I save and publish them separately, but that’s about it. I sometimes think of AUs for my own work and might talk about them in my author’s notes—might even talk about writing them—but I never really do anything with them.

Although…

It’s not uncommon for me to decide a plotline isn’t working for a certain story or to think of an interesting but undoable arc for a certain character, but what I’ll do is make a whole new story for those ideas. Once I’m done developing the original idea and the branched-off one, you probably wouldn’t be able to tell they grew from the same roots. Does that count?

21. What other medium do you think your story would work well as (film, webcomic, animated series, etc.)?

That depends on the story. I’ve actually written stories in other mediums—movie screenplay, musical stageplay, poetry, TV show scripts, play scripts, roleplay—but the novel does tend to be my comfort zone. Sometimes, if I have an idea that I think could work, or would even work better, as another medium, I’ll label it as such in my folder of ideas and decide not to write it as a novel.

Most of the time, my non-book projects are collaborations. I’m working with five different people on six different story ideas: two webcomics, one stage musical, one anime, and two animated TV shows. Little concrete progress has been made in any of those, mind you, but they’re still fun to discuss!

24. Would you say your writing has changed over time?

Absolutely. But I’ve been writing stories since I was five years old, so we would hope so, huh?

I wouldn’t say my writing’s changed completely, though maybe that’s just my insider’s perspective.

25. What part of writing is the most fun?

Oh gosh, I can’t believe you’d make me choose. Writing is just such a wonderful experience for me; I love just about everything to do with it. Admittedly, not all the time, but. Since that barely qualifies as an answer, however, I’ll give you this—

The endings. Not only that intense feeling of rightness when you wrap up that last sentence, but also the moments before. The adrenaline of knowing you’re almost there but you gotta push just a bit more to actually get there. And also the part right after—the real wrap-up, honestly: the revision and the editing. Heavens, I love revising and editing my work.

Which is not to say I don’t like writing it out for the first time, too—there’s nothing quite like seeing your cursor scroll to the next page, like going from a blank expanse to a Oh man, how many more lines are even going to fit on this page?, like watching that page counter tick up another number. However, there’s something cathartic about finally ironing out those problems I had to force myself to stop worrying about earlier because “just finish the first draft dangit”.

I guess that’s not really the end of the writing process, but whatever. Close enough (as fic writers are wont to say).

Another thank-you for these asks, and feel free to come back with more at any time! ;P

Send in fun meta asks for your friendly neighbourhood writer!

[kaisooficrec]

Kaisoo Our Love As One 2 (2019)

The second round of the lovely OLAO has begun! We’re blessed by so many kaisoo fics! We encourage you to show your support and appreciation for the authors by leaving kudos, comments and shoutouts on twitter ^^ merry christmas everyone!

#1. Confession

Genre: Romance, Soulmates, Imprinting, College/University AU, Jealous!Do Kyungsoo Length: 6,436 w Rating: PG-13 Summary: Do Kyungsoo received a confession in front of the entire campus from a complete stranger. And he said yes.

#2. Case #: 181102 (The Red Cube)

Genre: SCP Foundation,Tempo MV Inspired AU, Unreliable NarratorSCP - 3008 inspiredSCP - 167 inspired Length:  9,247 w Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Kinks/Other: Blood and gore, Graphic descriptions of violence, self-injurious behaviors, memory alteration, horror movie tropes Summary: It has been years since Kyungsoo first entered the Red Cube, he isn't sure whether there has ever been anything besides it.

#3. A Summer of Plums and Peaches

Genre: fluff, country boy vs city boy AU Length: 11,450 w Rating: PG-13 Summary: Jongin visits his grandmother every summer in the rural town in Korea where she lives. There are two problems with this: he can hardly speak Korean and he hates the heat. One day, he gets lost and ends up in a patch of poisonous vines when he meets Kyungsoo, the farmer boy with a heavy country accent who doesn't believe Jongin doesn't speak Korean. This summer vacation is going to be a long one.

#4. Ask Me And I Might Answer 

Genre: slight angst, fluff, doctor AU Length: 12,225 w Rating: NC-17 Warnings: minor character death, pregnancy scare  Summary: When Kyungsoo volunteered to read for the kids at the hospital with his step-brother, he didn't expect to encounter any trouble at all. But trouble came in a form of a handsome surgeon-in-training, Kim Jongin. Not that he was a bad influence or anything. In fact, he was the exact opposite. But he was trouble for Kyungsoo's stubborn heart.And Kyungsoo didn't need that. And he certainly didn't need a pregnancy scare just because he's showing symptoms of pregnancy weeks after they spent the night together.Kyungsoo knew it was the chicken.

#5. don’t tell me the moon is shining

Genre: bakery AU, uni AU, angst Length: 7,487 w Rating: G Warning: implied/referenced character death  Summary: Time bends with his wrists, its passage as malleable as the dough between his fingers. Everything is slow; and in no unpleasant way. The old ceiling fan circles as though swimming through honey, and the adjacent lights hum the afternoon away. Kyungsoo himself feels absorbed in the warp, his breaths deep and his blinking almost sluggish. It’s relaxing. A breath of fresh air and a return to familiarity, all at once.

#6. (now you wanna) play with me

Genre: celebrity AU, actor!kyungsoo, slice of life, smut, humor, fluff Length: 14,064 w Rating: NC-17 Summary: kyungsoo is an actor and jongin's the first photographer to take him home after a shoot for vogue

#7. Destiny

Genre: historical AU ish, slight angst, slight drama, supernatural elements Length: 9,208 w Rating: NC-17 Summary: Kyungsoo wanted to build things that will last, not destroy them. But the latest project he got from his father's architectural firm was to demolish a beautiful, old house. He can't understand but there was a pull when he saw the house's picture. Like he just have to be there.His questions were answered when he roomed at the old house's attic and talked to the boy who used to stay there. The only problem is that the boy is 100 years from the past.

#8. Mr. Kim’s Boyfriend

Genre: Angst, Mafia au Length: 3,150 w Rating: NC-17  Warning: Kidnapping, Blackmailing, Misunderstadings Summary: It start with a joke and it end with a disaster, Kyungsoo was joking about him being the boyfriend of the most powerful gang leader in the town " THE KIM", who no one knew really.But the problem was when someone hears Kyungsoo saying that he's the gang leader's baby boy and start spread the rumour. Kyungsoo didn't bother to correct them yet it spread enough to reach the most dangerous gangs's ears.

#9. To Those Who Feel Nothing

Genre: Rebellion against the government, Slight Angst, Dystopian AU  Legth: 10,344 w Rating: PG-13  Summary: In the utopia of the Stato Kolektiva, emotions have been destroyed for the sake of logic and progress. Do Kyungsoo runs an underground operation of bottled emotions for a hefty price in the city of Nova Okazo. Fear, Happiness, Sadness - he has it all. All except Love. He cannot make what he has not felt. But then he meets a dancer.

#10. Just Believe

Genre: Fluff, angst, dystopian-ish Length: 5,744 w Rating: PG-13 Summary: Kyungsoo's time had come. When you’re 12, you have to pass the test. if you hear the song and sing along, you’ll have to go in the “static”. kai wishes he could meet d.o. again, but he’s long gone now.

#11. Best Of Me

Genre: Caretaker au, drama, angst Warning: Blind and paralyzed character Length: 15,320w Rating: NC-17 Summary: When Kyungsoo was hired to be Jongin's caretaker, he had expected the job to be difficult but he didn't expect to care for his patient more than he should. Jongin, blind and paralyzed, constantly belittles everything Kyungsoo does but Kyungsoo just takes it all in for he knew that pain can make monsters out of the best people. So Kyungsoo vowed. He promised himself that he will help Jongin go back to the best version of himself. Even if it would mean that Kyungsoo had to burn and fade out just to reignite the fire within Jongin.

#12. Rain Drops

Genre: abo au, royalty au Length: 14,616w Rating: NC-17 Summary: As an Alpha prince, Jongin is expected to marry an Omega from a Nobel family, not the stray they picked up on the side of the road on the way to his summer home.

#13. it’s heist time, baby!

Genre: robbery au(?), it’s a cute robbery though :) Length: 4,849w Rating: G Summary: a halloween heist goes slightly wrong when kyungsoo finds the ring instead of the plaque in jongin's desk. he has to pretend that he doesn't know anything but the thing is—he sucks at lying.

#14. The clumsiest soulmate.

Genre: Soulmate au, fluff Length: 2,420w Rating: G Summary: Since he was a kid, Kyungsoo believed his soulmate was bullied from how many times he wake up with bruises all over his body. Little he knew it was far from that.

#15. The cute little bear

Genre: Hybrid au, domestic fluff Length: 3,966w Rating: G Summary: Kyungsoo woke up on the sound of loud sobs and found a cute bear hybrid, curled in his backyard, who he didn't hesitate to take care of and love beyond limits.

#16. Joys of Fate

Genre: Abo au, mates, strangers to lovers Length: 8,294w Rating: NC-17 Summary: Kim JongIn had never left anything made him feel like he wasn’t capable of leading his father's legacy, not his second gender, not those nasty and traditional alphas that worked with him. He was ready to face everything that was thrown at him. Even his destined alpha being his new secretary, Do KyungSoo.

#17. Hero In

Genre: Stalking, broken relationships Length: 7,792w Rating: NC-17 Summary: Little did he know, a mysterious man watches him every night, the same man he broke his heart months ago.

#18. Raggedy Man

Genre: Science-fiction, Doctor Who au(?), time travel Length: 25,015w Rating: G Summary: Kyungsoo just wanted a date. What he got was an adventure of a lifetime!

#19:  Bloom (피어나)

Genre: Romance, Fluff, Inspired by Hades and Persephone (Ancient Greek Religion & Lore), Alternate Universe - Historical Length: 11,179 w Rating: R Summary: Everyone thinks Jongin was kidnapped by Kyungsoo, the god of death, but the man always visited him while he rested surrounded by flowers and talked to him, never forced him to do anything, sometimes he simply stared for hours on end, always with a kind smile on his gorgeous lips, until he had to go back to the underworld. Jongin wasn't kidnapped, not really. He fell into the underworld because he fell in love.

[omg-im-such-a-masochist]

TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS

@ziasaph

Prompt: When Roman and Y/N have a little phone teasing, Roman is left with a problem to solve...with his bare hands.

Word count: Long-ish

Pairing: Roman Reigns x Reader

Warnings: +18, masturbation(male),cursing,explicit thoughts,smut(implied)

Notes: This is my first time ever trying to “recreate” what would go through a man’s mind while masturbating( I don’t have a wiener, so you know, this might not be 100% accurate) this is written in Roman’s POV only. Y’all know the drill loves,sorry for misspellings,english isn’t my first language (bla bla bla),check out my other stories if you’d like to(it would make your girl here very happy 😊) and if you’re comfortable with it,please let me know what you think? Some feedback is always welcomed and appreciated ❤️You can check out my other stories typing ‘masochist writes’ on the search bar on my page and my newest story as a fixed post.Okay,now let’s get to the fun part,shall we? Hope you’ll enjoy 😉

“Fuck me...” I whispered as I adjusted my bulge for the 4th time. I just finished a phone call with Y/N, and we kinda had a little phone teasing so now,here I am making my way to my locker room with a very painful hard on that I couldn’t wait to take care of.

As soon as my eyes met the locker room door I sighed in relief, until I heard

“Yo Uce,hold up!”

“You have got to be fucking kidding me!” I barked under my breath

“What up Uce?” My cousin Jimmy happily smiled at me

“Good,good...” I dumbly replied

“You ok there?”

“No I’m not ok Jimmy,what to you want?”

“Is this because you lost your match? Uce, you gotta learn how to lose man”

“This is not because of my match ok? It’s another thing that’s bothering me”

“Oh...Is it because Y/N hasn’t come back yet? I know you love her and all, but ever since she left, you got all blue and shit... I’m aware of your obsession towards her,but she has her own life problems to deal with you know? You can’t get all bitchy every time she needs to leave man...” he vaguely said

Y/N took a one month license so she could solve some problems regarding her family business, and ever since she left my mood has gotten worst and worst, and I still got 8 more fucking days ahead of me before she comes back! The racional part of my brain understands and agrees with what my cousin’s saying, but the other primal part of me just wants to punch his face and tell him to shut the fuck up.

He doesn’t understand the connection that Y/N and I have, she is my other half as cheesy as that sounds. I’ve never had believed that sort of stuff UNTIL the day I met her. From that day on I knew I had found my one and only. So you can’t really blame me for being in such a shitty mood, I was left without my sunlight for a whole fucking month, so yeah, I was gonna whine about it.

“Are you done,mom?” I said with an annoyed tone

“I’m just trying to help Uce”

“Yeah I know man” I sighed “I’m sorry is just that I gotta take care of something..” I vaguely said

“Ok, I’m not gonna keep you long, I was just gonna ask you if you would like to go out to th-“

“No,thanks. I have other plans” I quickly said before he could finish

“Really? And what possibly great plan is that,that you gonna miss a night out with your favorite cousin?”

“You really wanna know?”

“Yeah! And it’s better be a good plan for you to dismiss me like that”

“I’m gonna take a shower, take care of a very painful boner, jack off while I think about my girlfriend, then I’m gonna head back to my hotel room where a nice,big and comfortable bed waits for me...and maybe jack off again looking at some pictures of Y/N. Happy now?”

He looked at me in disbelief

“So you’re dismissing my invitation for a night out so you can jack off? How old are you? 14?” He started laughing

“Is that all Jimmy?” I made sure my voice demonstrated how annoyed I was.

“Yeah, yeah..go ahead Mr. Puberty go do your business...even tho you won’t need to take care of it yourself..” he barely whispered

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, nothing...here I’ll even open the door for you..just so your hands don’t get too tired!” He said mocking me “Milady, please” He bowed down and was now 100% laughing at me

“Fuck you Jimmy” I muttered under my breath closing and locking my locker room door.

I got out of my ring attire faster than a demon from church and made my way to the shower, while I waited for the water to heat up, I begin to stroke myself lazily while I thought about Y/N and the last time we were together. I got under the shower and remembered her body, the way it felt against mine, her breasts and how they are a perfect handful size, how soft her skin is (specially her boobs), how delicate her nipples feel against my lips.

Her sexy love handles,fuck I love those, which is why I don’t really get it why she hates it so much and wants to get rid of them so bad? I love how they feel when I tightly grip them on my hands whenever I’m holding her hips in place while fucking her from behind. My dick got harder just to think about it..Fuck I wish she was here!

I love her ass, I was always a tits lover until I saw that ass! Then I was officially converted into an ass lover. I just love to touch it, grip it, bite it, I love to watch it bounce when she rides me, I love to kiss it, spank it, rub my bulge against it..

*I begin to stroke my cock harder*

And fuck it..I love to fuck her ass.

But not as much as I love to fuck her pussy, nothing compares to the feeling of my cock buried deep inside of her tight pussy, I could cum just by remembering the vision of my dick sliding in and out of that sweet pussy..MY pussy, that belongs to ME! Fuck I just wish she was here, I would eat her out like a mad man.

I love to go down on her, seeing her eyes roll to the back of her head as I hungrily devour her..seeing how she squirms underneath me, moaning..begging for me to fuck her, how incredible she tastes...

But I also love when she sucks my dick.

The sight of her, on her knees, with a mouthful of cock while she looks up to meet my gaze.. FUCK ME isn’t that a beautiful sight?! Her lips all swollen and red from sucking me, her hands stroking my cock while she looks up and give me one of her satisfied smiles..so fucking gorgeous. Even more gorgeous when she chokes on my dick, making me slide all the way down until I hit the back of her throat just so she can pull back, gasping for air, while she giggles amused about how far she had taken.

With all of those sweet memories I came on my hand, giving me some sort of relief (at least for now). But it wasn’t the same thing tho, it wasn’t her and I NEEDED her!

God I love that woman, and I just fucking miss her, I just wish that she was here..

I made my car ride back to the hotel thinking about everything that I missed about her. I missed her scent, her voice, her smile, her hugs, her kisses, the way she likes to stroke my hair to help her sleep, her stealing all of my gray sweatpants just so I couldn’t “advertise” my package to other women, our late night conversations that were sometimes meaningful others meaningless, our make out sessions, lazy morning sex, horror movies marathon, the way she argued with one of the characters and told them they were “so dumb” and she “wished they would just get killed already”, the way she comforted me, the way I comforted her...

I opened the door to my hotel room, dragged myself to the sofa and was so deep in thoughts that I didn’t even noticed that the lights were on.

“Should I come back later?” The voice said in quite an amused tone.

*Wait..I know that voice!*

I turned my head to my left side so I could meet the owner of that voice, the one I had waited 3 long weeks to have by my side again

“Y/N” I couldn’t help but ran towards her, grab her tightly in my arms and kiss her so intensely that she almost couldn’t breath.

“Ro” she giggled “Baby, as much as I love this affectionate side of yours, you’re kinda making it difficult for me to breath” She chuckled

“Sorry, it’s just that I missed you so fucking much! You have no idea what hell I’ve been through those 3 weeks without you” I said as I gave her light pecks all over her lips,neck and face.

“Aww Rome.. I missed you too love! That’s why I decided to make you a surprise come back, everything solved before expected so I didn’t need to be there anymore so I decided to come back to my home,you!” She smiled

“I am your home,just like you’re mine! Those 3 weeks without you were a nightmare!”

“Oh I know! Jimmy told me you were being a little bitch and if I didn’t came back soon he would whoop your ass!” She was laughing uncontrollably

“That fucker...he knew you were coming back today didn’t he?” I asked remembering his little comment about me not needing to jack off at the hotel.

“Yep! He helped me with everything. Why?”

“Oh nothing, it’s just that he asked if I wanted to go out with him somewhere after the show and I declined saying I had other stuff to do”

“Like what?” She asked slightly confused

“Oh you know, like jack off in the shower thinking about you..”

“Did you?” She looked at me with that vixen look on her face

“What do you think baby girl? After our little teasing on the phone, you got me all worked up so I had to think about you while I took care of business with my own hands” Which where now roaming down to grab her ass.

“That sounds fun..why don’t you tell me everything you thought about huh?” She deviously smirked at me

“Oh baby, I might as well just show it to you” With that I picked her up in my arms and made my way towards the bed. I was going to show her everything that went through my mind those 3 weeks.

And fuck,she better be ready, ‘cuz I got all night long..

[daggerzine]

Stephen Smith of The Morning Line opens up.

I believe that Bay Area musician Stephen Smith began sending me stuff to listen to/review with his band The Morning Line a few years ago. I really like the band’s brand of melodic rock/pop and was curious to know more. I then realized it was the same Stephen Smith who had been in Boston faves Salem 66 many years before. I then wondered what other bands he had been in that I had maybe checked out (or own records by) so I tossed him some questions that he was more than happy to answer. Read on and give the band a listen, they really deserve your time.

RAWK

Where did you grow up? Was it the Boston area?

North Shore of Chicago until about 14, then high school in the Boston suburbs. I stayed in and around Boston, with stints in New York, L.A., and North Carolina, until I was 25. I was into music as a kid in Chicago, but too young to really be going to shows or anything. Boston was where I really had my musical coming of age. There was a surprising amount of stuff happening in the Suburbs. I saw Husker Du in Concord. The Dead Kennedys in Waltham. And Boston was only about 45 minutes away by train. I remember going into the city and buying records at Newbury Comics, with Aimee Mann behind the register.

What was the first instrument you picked up?

Why I started playing french horn at 11 or 12, I don’t know. It didn’t last. I started playing guitar pretty quickly after that. My first electric was a Stratocaster. I was probably 12 years old. 1979? It was used, so I’m guessing it was an early 70’s one. Got stolen at CBGB while I was loading in in the mid-80’s. Thieves work fast! Let me know if you’ve seen it.

What was the first record you remember buying? As a kid nay band knock your socks off?

My memory is embarrassing, but I recall three early purchases. Singles of ELO’s “Turn to Stone,” and Gary Numan’s “Cars,” and a Beatles comp called “Rock ‘n’ Roll Music.”

The most recent album from 2019. 

What bands were you introduction to punk/new wave/alternative music?

I remember very distinctly tuning into WLYN (later WFNX) and hearing Gun Club’s “Sex Beat”, and Bush Tetras’ “Cowboys in Africa,” and being amazed. I’ll tell you what, though, high school girlfriends were absolutely key to my musical education. Gang of Four? X? Learned about them through my first girlfriend. The Replacements? Through my second. I’m the great beneficiary of other people being better informed than me. Through these same people, I became aware of what was going on locally, and was turned on pretty early to stuff like Christmas, Volcano Suns, the Proletariat.

Was Expando Brain your first band? If not what?

As a fifteen-year-old, I had a couple bands with friends playing covers (I remember Gang of Four’s “Essence Rare,” X’s “Riding with Mary,” “Brand New Cadillac”). But Expando Brain was the first “real” band. I think I was 16 when we started that. Being that age and getting to play shows (like that CBGB one where I lost the guitar), make a record, and be ever-so-slightly enjoyed by some people, was a thrill. I suppose obviously.

Tell me about your time in Salem 66? Howe did you initially meet those ladies?

I don’t remember how we got together! I’m going to guess it was David Savoy’s doing. David managed Expando Brain for a while. He later managed Husker Du, before passing in early 1987. I think he got me together with them. I was 18-19 at the time. They were all 5-10 years older, so we wouldn’t have been traveling in the same circles.

It was absolutely thrilling for me. They were a great, interesting, band. They had “made it,” in my youthful eyes. Signed to Homestead Records? Come on. Gerard had rejected Expando Brain. So I was gonna be on my favorite label (well, maybe SST aside)! I was only in the band for nine months (I think I was a pretty relentless pain in the ass), but so much happened in that time. I think it was all in 1986. We did a tour through the south, so I saw places I’d never seen. We did another tour as a part of our travel to make “Frequency & Urgency,” so I got to see California, an unknown place that loomed so large in my imagination. We stopped in Needles, on the CA/AZ border, and I skated the pool of the motel we stayed at (very poorly). We made the record with Ethan James, who had recorded one of my favorite records of all time (“Double Nickels on the Dime”). I got my first tattoo while we were in L.A. making the record. It was just a dream for a 19-year-old who wanted to be a musician. In some minor way, I *was*.

Waiting for the pizza delivery. 

Was God’s Eye next? If so how did that band begin (and end)?

Yes and no. After getting booted from Salem 66, I went to school. Spent a year at Vassar College. There, I started the first version of God’s Eye with my brother, Tim, who would drive out to Poughkeepsie from Boston now and then to rehearse, and with Ivor Hanson, another Vassar student, who had earlier been in Faith and Embrace (and has gone on to lots of other things, musical and otherwise). I was just writing riffs then, nothing very substantial, and that came to an end at the end of the school year. At the same time, I answered an ad in the Village Voice. A band in North Carolina, apparently signed to a major, was looking for a guitar player. I noodled some notes onto a tape, took a picture, and sent it. I got an audition, then the gig. The band was called the Right Profile and, at the time, they were signed to Arista. ….but no record ever came out. Sort of a roots/American thing before that was a thing. Maybe Petty-ish? I hate to pigeonhole. So I moved to North Carolina. The band was led by a guy named Jeffrey Dean Foster, who is still making great music today. The drummer was Jon Wurster, a name I’m sure you know. For about nine months – again - I played with them. I was the wrong guy for the job though. I didn’t really have the kind of sideman chops they needed. Can’t remember if I jumped or was pushed. Maybe some combination. As an old man, it’s been nice reconnecting with them through the miracle of social media. A year or two after that, I restarted God’s Eye with my brother. In candor, it wasn’t very good. I had decided I needed to sing in a lower register, and it was really just bellowing. Despite that, we had remarkable success. We were managed by Boston dynamo Joyce Linehan, who would later go on to work at Sub Pop, work with Joe Pernice, and work as chief of staff to the Mayor of Boston. She got us much further than we (I) deserved. We made an album, an ep, and a single for Domino in England. The album also came out on Rough Trade in Germany. We got to play some dates in London. Nothing ever came out in the U.S. We had some interest, but it never materialized.

Anything in between that band and your move to the west coast?

Near the end of God’s Eye, I also played a bit with Green Magnet School. They needed a bassist, and I pitched in. Chris Pearson, one of the guitar players in the band, returned the favor, adding a second guitar for God’s Eye. I was lucky to be able to record a single with GMS, the Sub Pop double-single with Six Finger Satellite.

When did you make your movie to the Bay Area and what prompted that?

Frustration with music prompted it. I remember having breakfast with an exec from Stone Roses’ label. Silvertone, if I recall correctly. He sounded so into it! He was gonna put out the God’s Eye record in the U.S.! But it didn’t happen. I decided I needed to have more control over my life, so I bore down, finished college, and moved across the country to San Francisco, sight unseen, to go to law school.

The latest single from earlier this year. 

Were you in any bands before the Morning Line in San Francisco?

In law school I met a fellow student, Jason Hammon, who was in the midst of a pretty successful rock career. He was in Dance Hall Crashers. We stayed friends and, in 2000 or so, we started a band called My Fellow Astronauts, with his brother Gavin (another DHCrasher) and my friend Scout (Scout Shannon & the Willing Deceivers). We played some shows, recorded some demos, but nothing ever came of it.

Tell us about the beginnings of The Morning Line?

It’s 2004 or so. My friend Marco Baroz (Lucy & the Long Haul) played bass, David Knupp played guitar, and somehow we found David Shollenbarger. Maybe craigslist or something? David had played for awhile with Agent Orange. We were in our late 30’s, and knew not to take it too seriously. But we made some demos, and an album in 2007 (“Stay My Satellite”). We were and are very fortunate to have a friend named Peter Craft, who has a great studio called Boxer Lodge, and great skills. We got to spend a year working on the album, and get it just the way we wanted. We self-released, but got a few reviews and a few fan letters, and that’s all I could hope for. Eventually, the lack of success that comes with being in a band of forty-somethings took its toll, and the band was pretty much dissolved in 2008. But Peter (also a terrific drummer) and I kept making demos. I wrote some stuff I liked in about 2015, so we started recording again using The Morning Line name. “Stephen Smith” is too generic to get the job done.

“Smoke,” from 2017, is a collection of things we did over a few years. “North,” from 2019, was a focused, intentional album project, all recorded with Peter, David Knupp, and Brian Mello (the Bellyachers). That’s the band today. I write the songs and sing, but it really wouldn’t sound like it does without them, especially Brian (I don’t think Peter or David will be offended by that).

I know you just released a Morning Line single. What’s next for the band?

Not sure! I’m still riding the high of getting a couple songs done with all of us in quarantine! We’re talking about putting out a collection of odds and ends: demos, the songs from this new single, some remixes. But I’m not sure. We’ll be putting out a couple of those old outtakes as a Big Stir digital single in June. An album of all new material is probably in the future, but I’d guess at least 18 months out. We’re . . . deliberate.

Prior to COVD was the band actively playing locals shows and or doing any touring?

Not really. We play from time to time, but it’s mostly a recording project at this point. You’d be surprised how little interest there is in watching an obscure group of fifty-somethings peddle their wares.

A man, his dog and a weird-ass mountain (ok, hill). 

Who are some of your favorite current bands, local or otherwise?

I’ve been oddly incurious about new music the past few years. I just looked at the Outside Lands schedule and was like, “scarypoolparty? What?” I know that’s inconceivable to you. I tend to get excited by friends’ new products. People I’ve mentioned here, like Brian Mello and Scout Shannon, have had things out over the past year or two. My friend Russell Tillitt has something coming out. Jeff Shelton’s Well Wishers. Just off the top of my head. Bigger name stuff? I like the new Besnard Lakes record. The most recent Sleaford Mods. I’d be happy to hear the new Wrens record, which I suspect may never come.

What are your top 10 desert island discs?

You know how hard this is. Every day a different answer, right? Here goes:

Neil Young – Live Rust The Clash – London Calling Wrens – Meadowlands X – Los Angeles Gang of Four – Entertainment Replacements – Let it Be Jesus Lizard – Goat Jam – Sound Affects Teenage Fanclub – Catholic Education Wipers – Over The Edge

Those and a hundred others.

Final words? Closing comments? Words of wisdom?

Thanks for giving me the chance to think about this stuff. It’s fun to do a little reminiscing. As you know, there’s a deep bench of older indie-rock folks out there, still at it, and doing it pretty well. Thanks for giving us some attention.

 BONUS QUESTION: Red Sox or Giants?

60/40 Giants. It's nice to have a team in each league.

 https://themorningline.bandcamp.com/

[starlene]

A long, itemized, soul-searching list of complaints

...related to theatre in Finland, and my personal relationship to it.

This has been brewing in my mind for a while, and I have to write this out somewhere or I think I’ll start wailing in frustration. I’m putting it on Tumblr, because I feel like now is simply not the right time to start airing my complaints about the Finnish theatre scene in spaces that people from said scene actually visit. But I still have to try to get this out of my mind.

So.

Seeing how theatres have been closed for over four months now, I’ve had plenty of time to reflect on my own relationship to Finnish musical theatre. For the past decade, it’s been the thing I’ve been the most interested in – which is why it feels so saddening to me to see where the whole scene seems to be going.

You see, for a country with only 5,5 million inhabitants, and only 18 people per square kilometer, Finland has a ridiculously robust network of state-subsidized theatres. There are dozens of them, most big and mid-sized towns have one. So far, so good, right? But then, when you look into this a little bit deeper, and figure out how musicals fit into the equation...

Well, here’s how it looks like:

1) Musicals are widely regarded as the cash cows of Finnish theatre. Put on Fiddler on the Roof and you’re guaranteed to get butts in seats. The most popular theatrical productions in this country are almost always musicals.

2) In so-called intellectual circles, musicals are widely regarded as worthless drivel that should not benefit from any public funding.

3) During the past... dunno, five years or so, a handful of our biggest theatres have been getting into this ridiculous ours-is-bigger-than-yours type of competition with their musical productions. They buy the rights to some mediocre new musical that ran on Broadway for a year and a half, promote it as a huge Broadway success story that is finally being brought to Finland, and come up with some way to make it bigger or otherwise more special than any Finnish musical production before – be it the biggest ensemble, the flashiest special effects, the most famous composer visiting the premiere, the most accordions added to the original orchestration (added accordion has seriously been used as a selling point over here)... And the productions themselves tend to be these replica-ish-but-not-quite, professionally made but artistically bland and devoid-of-any-deeper-meaning spectacles.

4) The ticket prices for these big musical productions have shot through the roof. I’m talking about increases up to 80% in ten years – increases that simply cannot be explained away with the overall rate of inflation. I’m talking tickets to Finnish state-subsidized musicals costing the same as tickets to Finnish commercial musicals (well, granted, we only have one theatre that’s making big scale commercial productions – but it’s not a good look that their prices match the state-funded prices), tickets to Swedish commercial musicals costing less than tickets to Finnish state-funded ones.

5) Did I mention a big percentage of the funding for Finnish arts comes from our state-owned betting agency? In practice, that means a big chunk of the arts funding comes from the pockets of poor people addicted to gambling. Seriously. 50% of the profit the agency makes comes from the most active 5% of gamblers, and almost 25% of the profit comes from people that have a gambling addiction. There is also some evidence suggesting the agency has deliberately been placing the majority of their slot machines in poor neighbourhoods. There is talk about dismantling this whole thing, but it’s a really difficult issue, since no one really has a realistic idea for an alternative way of funding the arts.

...and the more I think about this nasty circle of things I’ve written about above, the worse it makes me feel.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m 100% for state-funded arts, and I 100% believe musical theatre is a form of art on par with any other. But the way the funding works right now, the way the biggest theatres keep increasing the prices and, thus, pricing everyone who’s not well-off out... It really makes me furious. My family has always been well-to-do, but I could not have had the experiences I’ve had earlier in my life if I was born ten years later. I would not have the money to see all the musicals I got to see as a teenager if I was a teenager now. (And then they wonder why young people don’t seem to be interested in theatre.)

Of course, I know that no one needs theatre to survive. It’s a good thing to have, but it’s not at a matter of life and death, far from it. And that’s another big thing I’ve been thinking about. This spring and summer, four months and counting without theatre, has shown me that personally, I truly do not need theatre to survive. If it’s not available, I’ll just do something else.

So now that certain theatre people have been giving these statements about the importance of the arts and making the audience trust going to the theatre again despite corona (which is... it’s such utter nonsense, it’s not in your hands if we get a second wave or not – if anything, reopening theatres makes it more likely we will – and if we do, nothing you do or say can make us “trust” going to the theatre since it will not be safe to do so and that’s that)... I just can’t help thinking, are you actually as essential to our society as you like to pretend you are? Are you actually offering a public, accessible service? (On top of all this, add the fun fact that only 50% of Finnish arts organizations that are required by law to have an equality plan actually have it, and you get a picture of how important being equal and accessible actually is for the arts in this country.)

And once you see this stuff, really see it, it’s really hard to unsee it and to go back advocating for Finnish musical theatre.

It’s like the big theatres are hearing the criticism that musicals should not be subsidized at all, and to debunk it, they do exactly what the critics have been saying they shouldn’t do. I do love a big musical production every now and then – but I super do not love getting one every single year in all the big theatres, if that means that prices will continue to rise, and that more and more people who don’t have a lot of money to spare can’t see musicals at all. I do love a Broadway musical every now and then – but I super do not love that in 99% of the cases, the people in charge don’t even consider the world of musicals that exists outside of Broadway. (I also hate the nonsense argument of pitting original Finnish musicals and Broadway musicals against each other, but that’s a rant for another day.)

And in the end, I feel like the Finnish theatre scene in general is out of touch with reality. We have things like climate change and inequality and whatnot going on in here, and for the most part, it seems like they do not even notice – or if they do, it’s an opportunity for them to look good, not to do good. Common enough in corporate world, sure, but for a field that prides itself for being so humane and essential to human survival... yeah.

Of course, I’ve been personally let down by certain aspects and people of the Finnish theatre world, which partially caused my burnout, which in turn has had some severe repercussions I keep battling with to this day. I’ll be the first to admit that this experience will probably always colour my views on Finnish theatre as a whole, and if everything had taken a different turn some years ago, I likely would not feel this bitter now.

But as it is, I’m going to live my life with the memory of that disappointment and the shadow of that burnout, and I don’t think they take away the validity of my criticism.

It just feels a bit rough. I’ve been trying to speak for Finnish musical theatre for a decade, I’ve cared about it deeply, and it’s given me plenty of happy memories too – so, to examine the whole system, and to end up with this deeply cynical outlook of it all... it’s a bit sad. I know losing interest in things you used to like can be related to depression and things like that – but what if this is not that, what if this is how I’d be feeling in any case?

It’s just a bit sad, I guess.

It’s not that there are no directors or actors whose work I’m interested in anymore, there certainly are, and there are exciting things coming up. It’s just... with everything I’ve mentioned above, and especially when you remember the ongoing pandemic, it doesn’t feel so important right now.

I actually feel a bit queasy thinking of going to theatre in the fall since it doesn’t feel 100% safe. I really need to think that through before I decide to go or not to go. I mean – I know the corona situation in Finland is looking very good right now, and maybe this is just the future we’ll be living in from now on, but at the same time, the chance of being the person who got sick because she went to see West Side Story or whatever... Yeah. Doesn’t sound too good, does it.

So yeah, just wanted to write all this out somewhere. I know the arts have been hit really hard because of corona, so I can’t really go around criticising them in public right now, even if they 100% deserve it – now is simply not the right time. But all this is making me feel so conflicted and confused, seeing how much of my own life has been and still is entwined with these things, and not knowing what to make of it all, not knowing how to reframe the place Finnish musical theatre has in my in my life and in my heart.

Thank you for reading. If you have any thoughts, I’d love to hear them.