#the marauders inspired by my dumbass classmates

[child-of-icarus]

Pandora: You do fancy him, you’re blushing!

Evan [bright red]: I do not. Besides, I don’t blush

Barty: [walking by] Oh hey Panda

Barty: Merlin Rosie, why’re you so red

Evan: I’M NOT

[child-of-icarus]

*in muggle studies* Minnie: Some muggles don’t live close enough to shops to buy fresh cream, so they buy it powdered Peter: How do you powder cream? Minnie: Once the cows are milked, you cook it to dehydrate it. Sirius: ??? James:(who was not listening) Merlin Pads, why do you look so scared? Sirius: Minnie just said that some muggles bake cows in to powder James: WHAT Remus: Merlin Prongs, powered milk is gross but not “made-of-baked-cows” gross Lily: Hey watch it Rem, I grew up with powdered milk James: Lily! You drank the muggle cow powder??? Lily: What? James it’s not— Sirius: Evans how could you Peter: What the fuck Lily Minnie: Potter! Pettigrew! Also, its professor, Sirius. Besides, powdered cream is not made from dehydrated cows its made from dehydrated milk. Minnie: *sighs*

... *reading Romeo and Juliet in muggle studies* Peter: *reading stage directions* Romeo dies Remus [reading as Romeo]: Oh thank fuck I’m dead, I can go back to my book now Remus: I’m just glad I died before I had to marry THAT idiot Barty [reading as Juliet]: *from across the room* OH FUCK YOU TOO LUPIN

...

*in muggle studies*

Barty: So you're telling me that muggles have come up with flavored milk? Pandora: Yes, its quite lovely. Barty: But where the fuck does it come from? How does the chocolate get in the milk? Pandora: Chocolate cows! Regulus: Panda you realize that chocolate milk comes from regular cows, right? Evan: No, she's right, it comes from brown cows Regulus: No, it doesn't Evan: Yes, it does Regulus: No, it doesn't Evan: Yes, it does! Ask Dorcas! Regulus: Cas! Tell Ev that chocolate milk doesn't come from *chocolate* cows Dorcas: *walks away*