#the main topic of conversation lately

[aaronsinferno]

;) my boys

[torgawl]

i'm so in love with wrio. that man is the embodiment of mercy and compassion. he is so... human. despite the deep disdain for atrocious acts that hurt others, especially acts that remind him of his own pain and traumas, he is able to keep himself in check and hold on to his values. despite being so proactive in fixing the wrongdoings of people that actively harm those under his care and assuring that everyone is supported in the best way possible; despite knowing he could have not controlled other people's hearts once they were in too deep in their own sins, he still feels helpless and incompetent. he recognises he cannot fully empathise with those who have been hurt for he has not experienced what they have and he understands that some wounds might not be able to heal even with all the attention and efforts, or at least not that easily. and it pains him. his whole life he's been trying to protect others. all his hard work during his time at the fortress and taking over it's administration has granted him the power and resources to actually change lives in a more restorative way, with a bigger amplitude than just the people who he's close to. yet he's only human. and not everyone wishes to be saved. and he doesn't hold back from breaking his own rules if means he is guaranteeing the best outcome for the greater good, for the well being of all of those he's sworn to protect. and although he earned himself a respectable title and even got used to being referred to in that way, he doesn't see people at the fortress as innmates but as equals. he never stopped being the little boy that was sentenced to live over a decade of his life there. and he is so good at what he does and he is so successful at restoring people's hopes in life, at giving them a second chance to become who they want to be, that there's people who actually want to stay there. he is the literal personification of turning your own pain into goodness, into love. love for community and love for others. he found meaning in making the world a better place and i just think that's really fucking beautiful.

[sweetnans]

When Katsuki got hit with a quirk, that made him tell what he actually thinks it felt like the world stopped, well for him.

You were trying so hard to maintain your composure when he sprinted into your room with his hand over his mouth.

"What happened?" You asked, and he wrote it down in a paper you had on your desk. "Got hit by a quirk, and I can't stop saying shit," you read and quirked your brow at him "shit like what?"

Real shit

You read and huffed at him while he still couldn't take off his hand of his mouth.

"Just stay like that and don't move. Did they tell you how long it will last?" He denied with his head, and you scratched the back of your neck. "Well, I'll do the talking then. You just have to listen"

He rolled his eyes at you. He didn't mind listening to you talk, but he did mind making the effort to not answer you back to keep the conversation on. For the last years, he realized that it was easy having a friendship with you, and lately, after you two started a friendship with benefits, fuck buddies, he felt in sync with you most of the time.

"How did you end up getting hit with that? Oh no, don't say anything, " you giggled when you looked at his face. He was actually suffering. It was a mixture between suffering and incredulity.

It was easy for you to have him around. You wouldn't deny the fact that your friendship with him had been growing in a way you never expected. Fulfilling some sort of comfort that you never had with anyone.

"Have you seen the others? Kirishima or Kaminari?" You asked while he was practically dead in your bed. You started folding your clothes, waiting for his response, but it never came. "I think you can answer me with yes or no without spilling something juicy"

He quirked a brow at you, holding his upper body on his elbows.

"Oh, don't look at me like that. If you are afraid to talk, there must be something really juicy on your mind that you don't want us to know. " his eyes got plastered in yours, and your eyes widen in sudden realization. "It's not us. You don't want me to know"

He panicked.

He knew you well. He knew that when you have something in mind, there is no human or extraterrestrial force to take it off. You won't drop the topic, uh-uh, you'll push it out of his system, you will bend him until he cracks, and now, with his incapability to talk, he was clearly in disadvantage.

"C'mon Katsuki, I'm your dearest and longest friend, we've been since high school, you know you can tell me anything." You pushed his buttons. The clothes you were folding laid discarded on the opposite side of the room while you approached him slowly like a predator chased its prey.

He needed to keep it cool. He needed to remain strong. The mantra kept playing in his head, and it worked for a while until he saw you kneeling in front of him in a position he knew very well. Fuck you.

"Don't look at me like that," you faked innocence. "I'm just using all the options I have"

You weren't going to do anything.

The look on his face was the main reason you stepped up your game. You threw your hands above his thigh, touching and squeezing the fat of them in a sexy way, very subtly. He flinched at the sudden contact, and you could swear that you saw a drop of sweat forming in the line of his hair.

"You don't need to talk while I blow you, do you?"

He grew impatiently seeing you there, your doe eyes, and your playful smile, meaning nothing but trouble.

You bit your lower lip in between your teeth at the sight of his growing bulge. It was getting out of hand, and you needed to bail before it evolved in something you wouldn't be able to stop.

"I'm just messing with you, relax." You left a tiny squeeze above his knee cap and pretended that it was just a game you were playing and not something that was getting you in the mood.

You weren't a masochist and he was your best friend.

You were preparing yourself to stand again when he, in a sudden and fast movement, grabbed you by the back of your thighs and pulled you toward him.

Your face was mere inches from his face, and your legs were now straddling his figure.

"What are you-"

The blood on your body rose and accumulated in your cheeks. It wasn't a weird position for you, but it was the intense look of his face that got you trembling under his touch.

"You fucking asked for it" he growled lowly. A tiny but strong spark went down on your spine, making you shiver. "Now shut up and listen for once, I don't know whats happening between you and me but lately I've been craving you even more, your skin, your kisses, when you bite my lip and scream my name when I'm inside of you"

His minty breath was fanning above your lips, and his crimson eyes never left yours.

"But that isn't enough anymore"

That sentence snapped your senses again. You regained control of your factions and your brows knitted together at the sudden feeling of losing him.

"What do you mean with that"

The bold you that was eager to get the information from him at any cost shrinked. It was the end of you two. Memories and images passed through your mind like a movie, and when you were about to tear up, he pinched your hip.

You glanced at him through wet lashes. He took a deep breath and smirked. If he was nervous, he never showed.

"I need more. I need you with me in the mornings, I need you with me throughout the day, I need you chopping my ear off every time you get excited with something, I want to watch every shitty reality you want to watch, I want you to scold me everytime I say something mean about our friends and I need to see you here everyday when I come home. I want you to stay and not leave, " he puked the words to you. His pupils were dilated, moving from one side to another, looking for a reaction from you. You were shocked.

He closed his eyes, thinking he screwed it. It was done, and if it was done, he would leave completely empty.

"I just want to cuddle with you after we have sex, I really like feeling you curled up against my body, it make me feel warm on the inside. I like the smell of your hair and your body, I like the way you laugh and the way you do that weird dance every time you win at something. And it drives me crazy having all these feelings for you. It's killing me that you don't realize that I love you"

You stopped breathing. He blurted the last sentences very slowly, giving everything up, including you. The final act of love it was always letting go, wasn't it? It was regret and hurt, but at least it was off of his chest.

He was still looking down when he felt both of your hands grabbing each side of his face. You were smiling through the tears that were rolling down your red cheeks.

"I can't believe that it took you getting hit by a quirk to confess your feelings for me"

Before he could say anything, you crashed your lips with his in a hungry and passionate kiss that melted all the regret and unpleasant feelings away.

For Katsuki, the world started spinning again.

[paradox-the-unimpressed-nun]

Yoriichi x F!reader Minors DNI 18+

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆ REQUEST ARE OPEN

Summary: You and yoriichi have one main thing in common, you both want a family

Warning: breeding kink, creampie, fluff, vanilla sex, oral sex f!receiving , mentions of a stillborn, spit as lube. Not prof read⚠️

A/N: I just wanted to write a little smut for my dear lil sunshine boy, I'm sorry for the all the smut as of late I've been possessed.(>-•)╦̵̵̿╤─ (⊙⊙). I’ve edited some things from the og so if it’s different from the sneak peak thats why :4.

Yoriichi has never been the best at showing emotions, you’re very aware of this. Many are put off by his lack of expression.

You’ve learned that even though his face doesn’t show any emotion, that doesn’t mean he isn’t feeling anything. In truth he feels a lot, he’s an incredibly sweet and kind man.

The main point of your bounding between you and yoriichi is that you both desperately want a family.

You lost your family just like Yoriichi, of course you talked about other things but the topic of family always snuck it’s face into your conversations.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆

You make your way towards Yoriichi with a tray of of food in your hands. Yoriichi is quietly sitting on your porch, he would have been mistaken for a statue if he didn’t shift his head into your direction.

“Forgive me for taking so long, I thought I had sweat tea but I ended up only having green tea” Yoriichi takes the plate from your hands as you sit down, he returns after your fully seated.

“It is fine, I like green tea” his voice bland a quick as usual. You hand him a cup, you carefully watch him take a sip. You’re worried you somehow managed to mess up the tea.

His face doesn’t change as he finishes his sip. “It’s good” again his voice is bland but you know he actually likes it. There’s a awkward silence between you to, your eyes wander trying to find something to make the mood better.

Your eyes fixate on the tea, picking up your own glass you scoot yourself closer to him. You smile at him “I-I heard that green tea is good for fertility” the smile quickly fades from your face as Yoriichi stares at you.

For once you have no idea what he’s thinking or feeling, he just stares directly into your eyes. Panic washes over you as you believe you’ve greatly upset him. Your face turns a beat red and you stumble out an apology.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it-like that!” You avert your gaze away from him being to embarrassed for the prior statement. Yoriichis gaze slightly softens and he opens his mouth “it’s fine, I know you mean well”.

Your gaze makes it back to his, your heart speaks before your mind. “I….I mean…I just thought..what if you got re married” immediately you mentally slap yourself.

In a conversation you had with yoriichi awhile back you brought up getting re married, you said you were open to the idea of getting re married while yoriichi shut down the thought of re marrying.

You’re already about to spill out another apology but yoriichi cuts you off. “If I got re married then this tea would be quite helpful, I appreciate the thought” he’s voice is different you don’t know how but it is, his voice sounds like a new song to you. Your eyes widen as he entertains the thought of getting re married.

You stare at him, and lean closer to him. Slowly you place your hand on Yoriichis cheek, your heart beat fastens. The world feels almost silent as the only thing your able to hear is the sound of your heart racing. Yoriichi doesn't move neither does his gaze, he carefully watches you.

Now you're inches from his face, you pause and stare into his eyes one last time. Next you connect your lips to his soft and warm ones. Your heart flutters as your lips connect, you feel so loved, beautiful and wanted.

Yoriichi shortly kisses you back wrapping his arms around you in the process. Sliding your arms around his neck you both deepen the kiss. As you both kiss Yoriichi gently moves you onto your back and makes his way on top of you. Yoriichi licks your lower lip asking permission to go inside. You let his tongue in as you wrap your legs around his hips. Both of your tongues dance with each other. You feel as if you're melting into him.

You both were so lost in the kiss neither of you realized your hips were grinding against each other. A bulge formed in Yoriichi pants, he subconsciously grinds his bulge harder into your clothed sex.

Yoriichi pulls away from the kiss -much to your dismay- thoughts race through your mind as you wonder what you did wrong in order to make him stop.

“I don’t want our first time together to be on the floor… Can we move to your room?” As he gets up he grabs your to help you up, he doesn’t let go after. “Yes….I think that would be much more romantic” you respond unsure as what to say.

Hand in hand you walk to your bedroom, you open the door for him and went in. You both sit down on the futon, his lips immediately find themselves back onto yours.

Yoriichi once again pulled away but this time he focused on your neck. He trails kisses upon your neck, gently sucking on your neck. There will defiantly be marks on your neck in the morning.

sneakily his hands find their way to your obi, he slowly unties it. Your obi slips off of you and soon does the rest of your kimono. Leaving you in nothing but your panties. In return you undress him, you’re slow wanting to take in all of his image. It seems you aren’t alone, yoriichi takes this opportunity to also admire your body. Feeling his gaze you instinctively cover your breast and stomach.

He stared at you a little dumbfounded, did he not like you stretch marks? Or was he disgusted with your extra pudge? Thoughts started to run through your mind, Yoriichi seemed to have taken noticed. Yoriichi pulls your hands away from your chest, bringing them to your side. While covering yourself you had left finger marks from squeezing to hard.

He makes his way lower down your body, he places kisses on the marks you left behind. You can hear your heart beat, you believe he can to. His hands sneakily makes it to your breast groping your chest. Taking one of your breast into his mouth and while his hand plays with your harden nipples. His tongue swirls around your buds, the other pinching your nipple.

A loud pop sound comes from him letting go of your chest, he looks up at you and squeezes your breast. “These need to be filled” Yoriichis words go straight to your clit making you somehow wetter than you already were.

Yoriichi lays you onto your back, in the process he grabs your legs. He taps two fingers on your thigh, asking for approval. Turing your head you slowly open your legs, your panties were dampen from your arousal . Shivers run up your spine as he place’s sweet kisses down your inner thigh. He makes sure to be slow, wanting to savor the moment. Finally he makes it to needy cunt. Yoriichi simply moves your panties to the side, he is to hungry to fully take them off. You could feel is hot breath against your clit, you instinctively bump your hips up.

He laps at your cunt, instinctively you close your legs. It’s been so long sense you’ve had someone go down on you, the feeling almost feels foreign. You didn’t even realize what you did until you feel yoriichis hand tap your thigh. Immediately you open your legs back up, your face is red as a tomato. “Sorry!!” You squeak out, turning your head to the side out of embarrassment. “It is fine…” is the only thing he said before closing his lips around your sensitive nub, sucking gently and promoting your eyes to flutter shut.

With one hand you grab his neat ponytail to push his him down further, the other grabbing the futon beneath you. Yoriichi fingers prod at your opening slithering into you. Instinctively you arch your back to get more stimulation. Yoriichi slides in another finger which earns him a sweet moan from your lips. A mixture of your fluids and yoriichis spit drips down his chin. Your once free hand moves to yoriichis ponytail “Yoriichi I’m close!” you moan in-between words. He doesn’t stop. Letting go of the futon you grab his ponytail and force his head down more, arching your back and hips in the process. Yoriichi laps at your clit and his fingers curl inside of you. Your vision goes white as you feel yoriichi lap at your sweet release. Your legs shake as you continue to hold yoriichi in place, panting form your high. It’s been a very long time sense you’ve had an orgasm this amazing. Yoriichi takes the initiative and pops his head up then pushes your hips down.

His gaze meets yours instinctively you turn away your arm covering your blushful face. You’re a little embarrassed that your juices are all over yoriichis mouth and chin. Yoriichi pulls your hips towards his, pulling you out of your thoughts. Somehow you feel hotter. He spits in his hand and rubs his very hard, leaking shaft. See his cock makes your mouth water, it’s just as beautiful as the rest of him. Big with a pretty pink tip, you wished he would’ve given you the time to suck him off, perhaps next time… yoriichi rubs his tip up against your entrance, rubbing it up against your soaking cunt. A grunt comes from him as your warm sticky juices cover his shaft. Anxiety erupts over you, hopefully he won’t find you “to loose”.

With a shaky breath Yoriichi speaks “I’m going to put it in now…” his face his flushed and his briefly look up at yours. All you can do is nod as you eagerly wait for him to finally put it in.

Finally he directs his tip to your entrance, slowly he slides in. Both of you moan at the feeling of one another’s body’s finally connecting. Yoriichi is big but you didn’t expect him to stretch you. He stops waiting for you to adjust to his size, he looks up waiting for your approval.

“Con-continue…please” your speech slow from you trying to calm your breathing. Yoriichi starts with slow thrust, trying to be gentle with you and find your sweet spots. His fingers dig into the meat of your hips, surely it will leave marks in the morning. Yoriichi earns a moan out of you as he brushes a certain spot inside of you.

“Right there! Right there!” You wrap your legs around his hips and hands hold onto his back. Keeping him there not wanting him to lose that spot. Yoriichi thrust more rough hitting that spot that made you see stars again. Heading your sweet moans made him pick up his pace his forehead onto yours.

You earn grunts and wines from yoriichi as you squeeze around him. Your cunt practically sucking him in deeper yearning for more. Each time he hits that spot he yearns a moan of his name from your sweet lips.

Yoriichi kisses your forehead lovingly, each kiss making your heart and cunt flutter. He moves kisses down your nose to your cheek then to your lips. Yoriichi sucks at your bottom lip making your mouth open, he takes this as an opportunity to sneak his tongue back into your mouth. In between kisses both of your moans can be heard. You feel like it’s your first time all over again, completely lost in the others body, sloppily kissing and humping. Yoriichis thrust turns into sloppy grinds wanting to get as deep as possible inside of you. Yoriichi breaks the kiss leaving a trail of saliva running down both of your chins. His eyes make it towards your chest seeing the stretch marks on your breast. Thoughts of you bearing hid children spread through his head, he knew he wanted a family with you but actually being in the moment? Having the opportunity to have the family he always wanted? It made his head spin.

Yoriichi pulls out completely leaving your poor cunt grasping onto nothing, a whine leaves you as the uncomfortable feeling of being empty flushed over you. What happened? What went wrong? Why did he pull out? You were about to ask why but was quickly stopped and yoriichi grabbed under your knee. He pushes your knees to your chest and lines himself back up to your cunt. Yoriichi quickly waste no time and bottoms you out, You scream and the absolute pleasure. He had put you into a mating press, somehow yoriichi feels deeper and bigger. His heavy balls slap against your dripping cunt. Both your juices and his precum slide down your ass onto the once cleaned Funton.

Your nails dig into his back leaving little red marks. You feel a familiar tightness building up in you. Yoriichi seems to be close as well, with that he picks up his pace.

You try desperately to tell him that you’re close but, you can’t seem to be able to forms the words to tell him. Drool drips down you mouth as your completely taken over by pleasure.

Jerking your head back onto the soft pillow that tightness that had been building up finally releases.

Yoriichi fucks you through your sweet organism, somehow going faster before finally stopping hitting his own orgasm. Thick white strings of cum line the walls of your sweet cunt, filling your womb to the brim.

Yoriichis warm cum seeps out of your pussy spilling onto the soiled sheets.

You both stay there for what feels like forever. Enjoying the feeling of one another’s bodies being against each other.

Looking up at yoriichis face he’s completely flushed, sweat drips down his forehead as he looks down at your also flustered self.

Yoriichi he looks at you like he’s just learned how to love all over again.

You don’t want him to stop and it doesn’t seem that he’s planning on stopping anytime soon. As he starts grinding his hips into yours once more.

You pull him down into a kiss, and of course returns the kiss. It’s sloppy and dirty as your tongues intertwined.

This seems to rile him up as he starts fully thrusting into your filled cunt once more.

God you hope the tea thing was true

🍓 I need to go to bed, my eyes hurt from lack of sleep ( ◜◡༎ຶ). Also sorry for all the smut my brain has just been 𓀐𓂸 all week. ALSO! Thank you for 300 followers ya'll are the best (ง ˃ ³ ˂)ว ⁼³₌₃⁼³

🍓edit: I have 700 followers now THANK YOU!!!

🍓UPDATE 2 800FOLLOWERS?!? YALL ARE INSANE

🍓 Update 3 i no longer like this, I’ll make a remake eventually, but I hope this short sweet fic makes y’all happy. I really pushed this off because I’m no longer happy with it. But I finished it. I wanna move on to other things. But expect more fanfic of him. Actually fuck it if enough people want a part two I’ll make a longer smuttier one. Sorry if you didn’t get tagged when u asked by notifications are all full. Also need more fanfic of this man I’m feral.

@ethereal1l @lovelymiraix @yoriichisc0msl4t2 @yoriichis-love @sush1trasher @aweebontheinternet2005 @xiernia @anemoneorc @lovelymiraix @ethereal1l @weebflames @azuriel-kinayoko @lovingyeet @krillfromsky @rjssierjrie @t0miejins @yuyuchann1 @genshinsimpforlif @hyunjinslefteyeball4 @puddingchoo

[nukacoola]

Deacon's dislike and hate talks are my favorite of any companion in fo4 because they're so unique and it's such a great look into his character.

In his first talk he really tries to get through to you. He tries to explain in a non-aggressive, even complimentary, manner why he hasn't been liking what you've been doing lately. Depending on what you say he basically babies you.

In his second talk is when he shows a hint of anger which I find super interesting because Deacon rarely shows anger. Even when you do things he hates he either won't say anything or will make a sarcastic comment about how he disagrees with what you did. I can only think of three times genuine anger/frustration is shown from him: this talk, starting the kill-the-Railroad quest for the Brotherhood, and his talk for when you murder someone which was cut from the game. He only has anger in his voice at the very beginning of the 2nd talk. Then it fades, showing that he's suppressing it or calming himself down.

But the main reason I am so fascinated by this talk is because he is the only companion (besides Strong) who you can not convince to give you one last chance. There's no option, no orange or red skill check. If you ask him to stay he says, "Not gonna happen. Sorry."

Where most companions will leave on bad terms after their second (or third if you convince them to stay) talk, Deacon says "We'll be seeing each other a lot, and I'm not one to hold grudges. Just remember, we're trying to help people, not make the garbage dump stink even more." And then leaves on distant coworker terms. In both talks (at least to me) he feels notably distant in the way he speaks to you. He already has his walls up and he tries to explain to you what the problem is before realizing in his second talk it was a useless venture.

Throughout both talks he compares you to Glory which is a whole other interesting topic (especially taking into account a tense conversation you can hear between Desdemona and Glory if you hang around Railroad HQ long enough).

I just love him.

[cosmicbucky]

daisies and dances lead to heartfelt romances

summary: you offer to take bucky out a few times so he can practice what it's like to date in the modern world. unbeknownst to each other, both your offer and his acceptance have an ulterior motive

pairing: bucky barnes x female reader

word count: 3845

part: one

warnings: minor swearing, fluff, tony is a dick with a hidden agenda, some angst, soft/shy/grumpy bucky, pet names/nicknames, unknown but mutual pining, oblivious idiots in love, sad bucky, mentions of bucky's struggles

a/n: this is planned to be at least two parts, maybe three.

big thank you to @buckys-wintersoldier for encouraging and supporting me with this!!

《《《《 ♡ 》》》》

The compound was quiet, softly lit to guide your way to the kitchen. It was late in the night, but not too late that everyone was asleep. Your socked feet were silent on the cold floor, and as you made your way to the fridge you heard laughter coming from the main entertainment room. You smiled to yourself as you went to grab a bottle of juice, focusing in on the conversation being held.

"Come on man! You can't be serious," you heard Sam say, laughter clear in his voice.

"Just drop it, Sam," Bucky replied, warning clear in his voice.

The smile slipped from your face as you closed the fridge with a sigh. You knew that tone. It wasn't Bucky's patented 'my god these people are so annoying' tone. It was his 'the next person who says something is getting thrown into a wall' tone. Which meant he was actually upset over whatever the conversation was about. It was rare for him to really get worked up beyond his usual moody demeanor, and you couldn't help the worry that surged through you.

"Oh, no. No, no this is way too good to drop, Barnes," Tony chimed in with a laugh. You could just picture the smirk on his face, and your feet moved quickly to carry yourself towards the conversation.

Bucky noticed you approach from where he sat, and he sent you a pleading look. Please help me, his eyes screamed.

"Don't tell me you guys are picking on Bucky again," you said, trying to sound casual as you leaned against the wall.

"You mean grumpy mcgee over here? You bet your ass we are," Tony replied happily.

You sighed, rolling your eyes at him. "Why now?"

"This dude can't date to save his life!" Sam spoke up, overly amused about it.

Bucky sank further into the couch, crossing his arms over his chest as he zoned out to somewhere far away, and you felt a pang in your heart at the sight- how can such a large man manage to look so small; so defeated?

"You guys are roasting him because he hasn't been on a date yet?" you asked, your annoyance about it clear in your voice.

It may be a little strange, but you had always felt protective over Bucky. The team often ganged up on him, and besides Steve, you were his closest friend - the two of you took a little while to warm up to each other, but once the ice thawed the two of you were rarely seen without the other. Now, it's not to say you never joined in on teasing him - because you did, quite often - but you knew when to stop. Perhaps it was because he would open up to you about some of the things he felt insecure about during your moonlit talks, the two of you tucked safely under blankets or hidden away somewhere in the compound as you spoke what neither of you could say in the light of day. Or, maybe it was because you just knew him well enough to know whether a topic would upset him or not. Whatever the reason may be for it, you always knew what was okay to say and what wasn't. Bucky would never be able to say how much he appreciated you for that.

"Tinman's been on dates, didn't you know?" Tony asked, grinning at you mischievously. "He just blew them all."

You tried not to let the hurt show on your face. He's been on dates? God, of course he has, look at him.

"Okay, and? You've never had bad dates before?" you asked, letting the anger start to shine through. "Just leave him alone."

Tony rolled his eyes. "Awe, look at that. Mommy dearest to the rescue once again, huh, Barnes?"

You stood up straight as rage surged through you, opening your mouth to tell him where to go. Before you could, Bucky's voice rang out: "Watch your fucking mouth, Stark. Or I'll shut you up myself," he warned, voice eerily calm as he glared at Tony.

Bucky was never really one to speak up when others came at him, more or less just taking it with an eye roll, clenched jaw, or tight smile as they all had their fun. However, once the comments turned towards you, as they always seemed to if you were around (and let's be honest, how often were you not around?), he was quick on his feet to stop them in their tracks, making the room feel so tense that no one else said anything for fear the air around them would actually suffocate them if they opened their mouth.

"Here we go again," you heard Sam mutter to himself. "Alright, I'm out of here. See you guys later," he added, walking out of the room with his hands up in a display of surrender.

He gave you a knowing look as he walked out, ignoring your questioning gaze and instead giving you a loving pat on the shoulder as he passed by. With him now out of sight, you turn your attention back to Tony, waiting for what was to come next.

"Look, all I'm saying-" Tony started, waving his glass around emphatically - amber liquid on the verge of splashing everywhere.

"No one cares what you're saying, Tony," you interrupted, already exasperated from the interaction.

He held up his hand, pointing a finger at you. "Come on, princess. You really gonna take away my fun? Under my own roof?"

"Yes, I am. Can't you take a day off from being a complete dick to him? Just once? We've all seen this show before, Tony, and it always ends the same way," you said, walking further into the room to snatch the glass from his hand, glaring at him as you did so. "And don't call me princess," you seethed, slamming the glass down on the side table behind you.

You didn't want to hate Tony, in all honesty you truly did love him. At the end of the day he was your family, and family wasn't perfect. However, you couldn't keep down the small bubbles of hatred that boiled inside you whenever he started to target Bucky. You didn't see him as family when he waved his disdain for the soldier around like a kite in the wind; you just saw him as a rich douchebag picking on someone beneath him. You hated the way he treated Bucky, and you absolutely loathed the way he made Bucky's voice tremble ever so slightly with self doubt when he lays in your arms in the dead of night, recounting the things Tony said to him that keep him awake, that make old wounds reopen. You loved Tony, but his hatred for Bucky also made you hate him.

"No? Do you only like it when RoboCop calls you that?" Tony asked calmly, a malicious glint shining in his eyes, his smirk growing wider when he saw your expression. 

You felt the blood rush to your face, recounting a few of the times that the name had slipped through Bucky's lips; though it was from the haze of sleep and moments of vulnerability, there were few memories you cherished more. "Go to sleep now, princess. I'll be here when you wake up." "Thank you for staying with me, princess." "You're safe now, princess." 

"Yeah, I hear a lot of things around here that I probably shouldn't. Now, why don't you lighten up and let me say my piece, princess?" Tony continued with a grin, and it took everything in you to not smack it off his face.

"I'm gonna fucking kill you," Bucky suddenly spat, making you jump slightly - he had fallen so silent you half forgot he was even there. The menace that dripped from his words sent a chill down your spine, and you sent one last glare at Tony before you glanced over your shoulder.

One look over at Bucky as he jumped from the couch told you he had never been more serious. His jaw was tight as his lips pressed together in a fine line, his fists clenched so tightly that the mechanisms in his left arm started to whir and the veins in his right arm shone prominently, his whole body tense as his chest heaved. He took two quick steps forward, but the second you raised your hand to his chest he stopped.

"Buck, it's alright," you said calmly. You knew it wasn't - you were angry, hurt, embarrassed, and a million other things; but you couldn't let Bucky in on that. You had to brush it all off so you could be the calm that Bucky needed in order to tame the never ending storm raging furiously inside him.

Bucky looked down at you with narrowed eyes, as if he didn't understand a word you said. "I'm supposed to just let him talk to you like that?"

If it weren't for the seriousness of the moment, you would have blushed from his words. Instead, you huffed and lightly shoved him away. "Yes, because you're feeding into exactly what he wants, Bucky. You know all he wants is to mess with you."

"Not true," Tony chimed in from behind you. "I want lots of things, pumpkin. In fact, one of those things is Pepper, so I'll be going now. And hey, when you and soldier boy here finally get married, just remember - I'm ordained."

You spared a glance in his direction just in time to see his shit-eating grin before he turned and sauntered happily out of the room.

"Can you two ever give me a fucking break?" you scolded, crossing your arms over your chest.

"Aw don't you start now, too," Bucky whined, tossing his head back slightly as he sighed, making his way back to the couch.

You sighed as well, following in his wake to plop down beside him. You didn't need to say anything, he took one look at you and knew the question that was already dancing on your tongue: what was it about this time?

"Look, it doesn't matter," he huffed out, slumping his shoulders as he looked down at his hands resting on his lap, wringing his fingers together. 

“Come on, when have I ever let it go that easily?” you asked, nudging his shoulder. 

He let out a humourless chuckle, the corners of his mouth flicking upwards for the briefest of moments as the memories of the countless times you two have been in this situation flashed through his mind. 

You could see the turmoil on his face, and you knew he was trying to find a way to express what was going on, so you sat patiently and waited for him to find the proper words. 

“I don’t know what the hell I’m doing,” he finally settled on, the words coming out in a rushed breath. 

Before you could question him, he carried on with a frown, his brows knit together. “It was so much easier back then, you know? Flash a smile, go to the fair, wear the uniform, whatever. I never had to think about it, but now there’s- there’s just so much…. so much expectation. You bring flowers and you care too much, you don’t bring flowers and you don’t care enough. I-it’s like everything that I do, I should have done the opposite. I can’t get anything right.”

You sat in silence for a moment, his words bouncing around in your head. Each syllable he spoke fractured your heart until it was shattered into bits; but all you cared about as you looked at the broken man in front of you was putting him back together, hoping that your words and your comfort and your care would be enough to put together the delicate pieces of him - the pieces that broke off every time he doubted himself, every time he remembered his past, every time he did something wrong on a mission - the pieces that you picked up and kept safe inside of yourself until you had the chance to give them back to him, gluing them on with whispers of affirmation and promises that everything would be okay in time.

“You never mentioned any of this before,” you said tentatively, the unspoken words why did you keep this from me? hanging in the air. “Is this what they were teasing you about? Your struggle to figure out how to date again?”

He let out a huff of air as he slung his head back to rest against the back of the couch, shaking it lightly as he stared up at the ceiling, his jaw flexing with contemplation. “I didn’t want it to be a big deal, but then Jackass 1 and Jackass 2 found out and ran with it.”

“Okay, well.. walk me through it. Is there someone you want to take out on a date right now? Maybe I can give you some ideas,” you offered softly, the words tasting bitter in your mouth as you spoke them. 

He groaned, running his hands over his face before smacking them back down on his legs, his palms dragging across the fabric covering his thighs for a few seconds; a habit, you noticed, that he often did when he was nervous or uncomfortable. “No,” he said flatly, biting down on his tongue to keep the words yes, my delicate little flower, I want to take you out on a date from tumbling out of his mouth. 

“No?” you echoed, surprised by the response. 

He nodded his head in confirmation. “No,” he repeated, looking at you. Taking in your expression, he carried on. “Like, no there isn’t anyone. I don’t- I didn’t even want to go on those dates, but… I couldn’t- I mean, I kinda just…. felt like I needed to."

There was so much he left unsaid at this moment. So much he wanted to say, needed to say - not only just to get it off his chest, but because he believed that you deserved to know. Every time he looked at you he had the burning desire to bare his soul to you, to tell you all the things he kept buried away in the deep recesses of his mind, locked away in a vault only you could open. He wanted to tell you that he still feels so out of place, that most days when he was out in this new world he suddenly resembled a child who was lost amongst a crowd of scary and unfamiliar things - desperately searching for something he recognized that he could cling to. He wanted to tell you that you were the familiar thing he found to cling to, that he carried you in his head and in his heart every time he was out; that when things got too overwhelming he closed his eyes and recalled the encouraging words you always told him, that when that wasn't enough he called you with some lame excuse just so he could ground himself with your voice - "Hey, doll. What was the name of that bakery you took me to the other week? I'm thinking of getting more of those cookies we liked." He had saved the bakery's location to his phone (something he knew how to do thanks to you) the second he saw how your eyes sparkled when you got there, just to make sure he could always find it and pick things up for you. "Hey, so, I just got yelled at because I walked by and ruined someone's… what the fuck was it? It has to do with a clock or something? Does that sound like something you know? Please tell me what the hell that is because I feel like I'm going insane." He knew what it was. He had downloaded the app after he witnessed how much it made you laugh, and he had an endless amount of saved videos that he thought you would like, but for some reason wasn't brave enough to show you. "Okay, I’m out shopping - and don't laugh because this is a serious question - do you think I would look good in pink?" He vividly remembered your words from a few months ago, when he was burritoed in your fuzzy pink blanket during movie night, and you told him so casually that he should start wearing pink because it complimented his eyes. He wanted to tell you that you were the only thing in this universe that could still the incessant maelstrom that was his mind. That when he was out on those dates the storm raged on more intensely than ever, but one look or word from you and everything was quiet; not even a trace of rain. 

He wanted to tell you. But he didn't. He couldn't. He wouldn't. Oh, but he needed to- 

"You wanted to try to fit in," your gentle voice pulled him from his thoughts, his head snapping to look at you. To see your eyes, full of understanding. To see your lips, pulled into a sad smile - but not one of pity, one that said all you wanted was to help him through yet another battle he was fighting with himself.

"Yeah," he sighed. "Yeah. I guess I just figured.. well, I don't know. Everyone kept saying how I needed to get out there. That dating was the next best step I could take to try and….. to- to understand how to live in this world better. I just wanted things to make sense again, but now I'm even more lost and confused than before I even went on those god damn dates."

You tried to keep your face even, to not let him see how sad it made you to hear the way his voice wavered when he told you what was going on. To not let him know that you sensed how small he was feeling, how even though his broad frame still shadowed you as you both sat there, he had never seemed so small.

"Well…. take me on a date," you suggested, not taking the time to even think about it. 

Bucky swore the whole room started to spin. His mouth ran dry and his heart hammered so heavily in his chest that he was convinced you could hear it. He knew he heard you wrong, he wasn't lucky enough to have a girl like you. The world was cruel, and he knew that the one sliver of hope that he had for a truly blissful life would never be fully his. That one day it would leave him, just like everything else throughout the years, as you found yourself in the arms of someone else. He would never have you the way he wanted you, the way he needed you. He knew that. So he had to have misheard you. "Come again?" 

Your whole face lit up when he asked this, and Bucky could feel himself coming undone. Your hands on his arm when you grabbed him in excitement suddenly felt so different than in the past. It used to feel warm, comforting, calming; but for some reason this time it sent a jolt of fire and electricity through him, and he never wanted to lose that feeling. He wanted to feel it again, feel it always, feel it forever. 

“Yeah! Oh, it would be great, Buck! We can go on a few dates, and I can help you find your footing with it all before you get back out there,” you said excitedly. You purposely overinflated your smile so he wouldn’t see the way your lips faltered with the struggle of getting out the last part, diverting your gaze for the smallest of moments so he wouldn’t see the way your eyes dimmed with the thought of him being with someone else. 

Bucky shifted where he sat, opening and closing his mouth a few times as his mind went into overdrive trying to think of a response. Every fiber of his being was screaming at him to say yes, but then there was a small piece of him that knew it wouldn’t end well - the piece that knew how he truly felt about you, the piece that knew it would easily be tricked into thinking these dates actually meant something to you; because lord knows they would mean the world and more to him. Bucky wanted to say yes, but he knew he had to say no. He had to say no because it wouldn’t be fair to you - you were offering to help him and he would be taking advantage of your kindness, using it to get to see you in a light he’d never be able to otherwise. He had to say no because saying yes could ruin everything. He may not be able to go back to the way it was before these dates, too addicted to ever quit you. He had to say no, for your sake, because it was a selfless offer. Bucky, however, was selfish when it came to you. 

“You know, doll… that may not be the worst idea I’ve ever heard,” he had said, giving you a lopsided smile. Your eyes lit up once more as you grinned at him, and no matter how hard he tried to keep his composure he couldn’t help but mirror your expression, feeling as giddy as he did the first time he was allowed to stay up late as a kid. 

“Excellent choice, Barnes,” you said playfully. “I swear you won’t regret it, it’ll be really fun. Just you and me, no expectations.”

Bucky nodded, shifting his head to scratch his jaw so you wouldn’t see the light frown that danced across his lips for a moment. “No expectations,” he repeated, careful to keep his voice level. “I can work with that.”

“Good,” you said softly, nodding a little. “I’ll give you some time to think about it and plan something, and you can just let me know whenever you wanna go on date number one.”

He was silent for a minute, taking the time to carefully churn the words over in his mind before answering. He didn’t want to make it obvious, but he knew immediately what he wanted to do. How could he not? All he ever did was look for new things he thinks you’d like, find himself dreaming of where he’d take you if he ever got the chance. Sure, you guys have done lots of things together before - brunches, lunches, dinners, movie nights, events, parties; you name it. Though there was never any meaning with any of those, it was always just friends spending time together. How were either of you supposed to know you each wished they meant something more? Heaven forbid you two would actually say how you felt.

"No need," Bucky said, rising from the couch with a small chuckle, looking down at you with the smile he reserved only for you. The one that skillfully said everything and nothing all at once. “Lunch. Tomorrow.”

[x-gabrielle-x]

Interlinked

Pairings: Mattheo Riddle x Reader.

Warnings: Swearing, angst, major character death, blood, war.

Summary: Mattheo Riddle was hated by most, yet you saw more in him than what most could.

Mattheo Riddle knew that he wasn't the most approachable person out there, especially when more than half of the school referred to him as his father's son.

Besides his small group of close friends, anybody else was just another thorn in his side. He had come to learn that despite keeping his distance and reserved personality, he was still seen to be just like his father.

So of course, it was a shock to everybody when you had chosen to sit beside him in potions class away from your usual group of friends.

You hadn't said anything to him, merely sparing him a quick glance and small smile before you were placing your things down quietly onto the desk. He could see your friends in the corner of his eye gawking at you from across the room and silently waving you back over, one of them even going as far to call out to you, yet you paid them no mind and picked up your quill, scribbling down the notes written on the board before the professor continued on with the lesson.

He felt his gaze linger on you longer than he would've liked to admit, brows furrowed before he chose to let the silence thicken.

Mattheo knew then and there that this wouldn't be the last interaction he'd have with you.

It went on like this for a few more days. You coming into class and sitting directly beside him, showing him your bright smile that he desperately wished to hate despite the small warmth it gave him. At this point it became regular routine, and if you ever happened to be late for class Mattheo would ensure that your seat was kept empty.

It was a silent agreement between the two of you.

So once again when Mattheo caught himself staring at your bored expression in class, your head propped up onto the palm of your hand, he decided that for the first time it was time to break the silence.

"Not taking any notes today?" He couldn't help to hide the growing grin on his face when your head nearly snapped toward him, eyes wide as if you were checking that he was in fact talking to you.

You leant back further into your seat, shrugging as you turned to fully acknowledge him whilst also being discreet from the Professor as to not get caught.

"I'm just not really in the mood for it, I guess," you shrugged, giving him a small smile. "It's pretty basic stuff, anyways," you added.

He grinned once again, although this time he put no effort into hiding it. "Of course, one of the best students in class calls it 'basic.'"

He didn’t fail to notice the way your eyes lingered on his smile. He never smiled, really. Maybe the occasional half lipped smile to his few friends he had, but to you, it felt natural. Meaningful.

"It could be basic to you too, if you took notes and gave the lesson your full attention," you teased him, nodding to the board.

"Unfortunately, my attention is elsewhere.”

You rolled your eyes, and despite your attempt at hiding it, Mattheo noticed the obvious blush dusting your cheeks when he flashed you one last smile.

In truth, Mattheo wasn't awful at potions class at all. In fact, he found it to be one of his best subjects. He would never admit that to you, though. Not if it meant that you could continue to tease him about it.

The both of you quickly went silent when Professor Snape turned your way, eyeing mainly Mattheo for a second before he continued to pester poor Neville about what chapter to read from.

Small conversations would be thrown back and forth between the two of you, and Mattheo being himself, of course threw in many flirtatious comments, addicted to the way you'd attempt to change topic and hide the nervousness from him.

It didn't take long for him to realize he was craving for your attention every chance he could get. He found himself looking for you in the corridors and in the main hall when he happened to be walking with his friends, and it didn't fail to go unnoticed by them when his usual bored demeanor would instantly change when talking to you.

You would catch his attention with a bright smile and wave, before your friends were quickly pushing you away to giggle about the situation.

After practically begging you to help him study for the upcoming potions test, despite him not needing the help, he was insistent on getting to spend more time with you.

When you were both sat in the library with the few books you had brought over, Mattheo found himself watching as you concentrated hard on what you were explaining to him, with your brows furrowed and your eyes darting along each printed word on the page. Only it didn't last long when you suddenly closed the book and looked at him expectantly.

"You could at least pretend to be a little more interested, Riddle," you had teased when you discovered he hadn't been listening to you, earning a small chuckle from the boy sat across from you.

"Would it be a surprise to you that something else had taken my interest?" was all he said, watching you closely for a reaction. He caught the slight blush dusting your cheeks.

"You're funny, Riddle." You quickly turned away from him and picked up your book, opening to a random page to save you from the embarrassment of his words. You knew that he had you wrapped around his finger, and he loved it.

Christmas holidays had come, and of course the two of you were sad to go. The many bickering conversations and your smile would have to wait until next year.

"I'll send owls whenever I can, I better get some back, Riddle," you had said, throwing one of your jumpers into your bag as Mattheo sat watching from the common room couch.

He rolled his eyes at the comment, as if it were impossible to do so. "You'll be missing me that much, Princess?"

He caught you halting your movement, and you looked at him.

"Would it be a boost to your ego if I admitted I would miss you?"

He pretended to ponder, but he couldn't hide the grin on his face. "Not entirely sure, I guess were going to find out."

You rolled your eyes once more and zipped up your bag. "Then if it makes you feel better, I will miss you, Mattheo."

Nothing felt it had sunk in until you were stood on the platform to the train, Mattheo at your side and bags in hand. You would both be going to your homes, and the several months of friendship the two of you had built together would not make it easy for the next few to come.

Your father had insisted to pick you up himself, claiming he couldn't wait long enough for the train to arrive. Unfortunately, this would mean Mattheo would go by train alone.

So, when the both of you were saying your final goodbyes, of course it had surprised him to feel your lips press against the corner of his mouth.

You patted his cheek twice, to which he just silently gawked at you.

"See you soon, Theo," you smiled before turning away to find your father who was waiting somewhere nearby.

He watched you walk off, and without another thought he was turning on his heel and stepping on to the train.

Then he was gone.

Mattheo never sent a letter, and the months seemed to drag on the longer you waited. Every day you would run outside of your family home to check the mail, expecting, hoping, to see that he finally sent you a message. You couldn't deny the embarrassment every time you opened the mailbox to see it empty. Your hope was fading, but still, there was the smallest tinge of hope left deep in you.

You thought that maybe you were overthinking things too much. He did say he had plans for the holidays, after all. Your owl would wait by the window ready for you to clip another letter to her neck once again and fly off the moment you opened the window. No matter how many times you would send a letter, deep down you knew you wouldn't receive one back.

When school was finally about to start up again the coming week, you were beyond excited to see Mattheo again, despite the fact of his lack of letters. You were sure there was a reasonable explanation!

As he sat in one of the carriages in the train, his eyes zoned out of the window and watching the fog clouding the terrain, his memories flooded back in and for a moment he swore he felt a sharp sting on his forearm. Glancing down at the Dark Mark printed pure black, he remembers the exact moment his father had pressed the tip of his wand to his flesh and the searing pain that followed.

He felt as if the holidays had been the slowest they'd ever been. Being stuck in the same building as the Dark Lord feels like that, he concluded.

He was drawn away from his thoughts when he heard the carriage door slide open, and he wasn't surprised to see your face peeking in through the door with your usual smile, only it was brighter than he'd ever seen it.

Despite him not sending you letters; you were beyond happy to see him again.

Ignoring your excitement, you met his gaze and gestured to the seat across from him. "Mind if I sit with you?"

Truthfully, he wished for some alone time to dwell on his thoughts. He didn't need you or anybody else trying to strike up conversation with him, especially after he had been mostly ignoring your letters and leaving them stranded in piles upon his desk. The slight annoyance began to bubble in his chest, yet he gave a curt nod and continued to stare out the window.

You seemed to have caught onto his behavior, the awkwardness settling in once you closed the door behind you and watched in silence.

Your mind was swarming with questions you desperately wished to ask him - What did he do during the holidays? Why was he acting like this? Did he miss you?

You inhaled a breath before asking the question you had been craving to ask the most.

"You never sent me any letters over the holidays?" You regretted mentioning it the moment the words slipped your lips, and you bit the inside of your cheek when you heard a deep inhale come from Mattheo.

"Things get busy," was all he said, and the pang in your chest that followed caused for you to try think of anything else. He refused to look at you, and that only made the pang worsen.

"Oh, that's alright," you nodded, teeth pressing deeper into the skin of your bottom lip. "What did you do over your holidays?"

Mattheo shrugged, and you wished that he could just meet your eye the longer he stared blankly out the window.

"Nothing of much importance."

His bluntness to you confused you. Never had Mattheo attempted to be so short and bored with you, even when you were both at the awkward stage of just becoming friends. You took it as a sign to sit in silence the rest of the train ride back to Hogwarts, feigning it'll be back to normal once you're both settled into the regular routine again.

The longer the days passed at Hogwarts, the more Mattheo found himself hating your presence. You were always there - always following him like a lost puppy or trying to strike up conversation. He didn't want you here. Not at the moment. He couldn't.

You didn't fail to realize this either, firstly it being small things like the previous conversation on the train a few weeks ago. But then you found that Mattheo was physically avoiding you, changing seats to be on the opposite side of the class, leaving the dining hall whenever you attempted to sit with the rest of your friends. He never saved your seats anymore; even going as far as to make sure he was sat between other classmates to avoid you being near him.

You did miss him, but you also weren't one to push boundaries. Especially when it came to somebody you cared about as much as him.

You had tried to give him space, tried to give him time to come to you, but your own emotions were clouding, and you just wanted your old Mattheo. You had made sure to find Mattheo when he was alone, gently tugging on his arm and pleading for him to talk to you.

"Can't you just fuck off already? I don't need you here. You're a constant pain, how don't you see that?! I thought you would have gotten the hint ages ago!" He'd practically screamed in your face, and you had never felt more mortified than you did right now.

"Thats not what I'm trying to do at all, Theo-"

"You need to leave me the fuck alone, Y/N!"

He hated you. He hated you for making him feel this way. It was your fault. for making him care about anything in the first place, and it was your fault that he despised you for it. And most of all, he hated you for making him love you.

He could never forget the look on your face when he stood beside his father at the war, the tears seeming as if they were rivers along your dirty cheeks, cuts littering your body. Despite all that, in your pain seeing him, he still wondered how you had managed to stay beautiful even in these circumstances. Even with the blood from your wounds, you seemed like the brightest person here.

He so desperately wished to reach out a brush away the bloodied strands of hair away from your face, to apologies for everything. He couldn't stand the way your heartbroken gaze was practically burning into his soul.

Then the flash of green and a heavy thud echoed.

He hadn't even registered the war around him as he darted forward, tripping over his own legs as he dropped to his knees and cradled your body. He couldn't even hear his own wails and sobs over the screaming of his classmates.

He wished he hadn't looked down to the sight of you in his arms, because as soon as he did, he felt as if he had been stabbed in the chest. Your body was limp against him, your head lulled back to which he carefully readjusted his body to keep his arm supporting your neck. He could barely see with the tears cascading down his face and blurring his vision - some even dropping down onto your cheek and rolling off the slopes of your jaw. He quickly whipped it off with his thumb.

This couldn't be how you last remembered him, could it? He was pressing his forehead to your cold one the longer the seconds passed.

"You’re not leaving me, Princess, ok?" he was mumbling to you in your ear despite his sobbing. Deep down he knew you were gone, but the lingering hope that you'd flutter your eyes open and smile back up at him was haunting to him. He couldn't resist but to shake your shoulders in hopes that it would be true. "You need to get up now! It's dangerous," he cried longer, and in that moment, he couldn't care less what happened to him beyond that point, because the one thing he truly cared about was now gone.

He would never hear your voice again, your lips pressed against his, or your smile that he secretly wished to see every day. He wished that he could feel your hands running along his hair comfortingly as you whispered sweet nothing to him.

He would never be able to tell you that he did, in fact, read every single one of your letters. That he wished to write back. That he wished to see you every second of the day.

Your last memory of him would instead be of how he betrayed you. Left you, and fought against you in the war. Scared and broken because of him.

It was truly all gone, and he had never hated himself more in that moment.

©x-gabrielle-x. Do not steal, copy or translate my works.

[daisyblog]

You, Me and Baby

Young Love Masterlist Summary: Louis and YN discover they’re going to have a baby, but YN’s parents are far from pleased.

warning: highly sensitive topics, positive pregnancy test, pregnancy, mentions of abortion, emotional abuse, swearing, arguing, shouting

The bright shining sun teased her through the window as she waited patiently for the time to be up. YN’s heart thumped against her chest, as her eyes stared at the plastic stick sat on her bedside table.

Her period was 7 days late, and as much as she blamed hormones, stress and “it’ll come tomorrow”, YN knew she needed to take a pregnancy test just to rule out one of the main reasons her period still hadn’t made an appearance.

YN felt her chest take a deep breath as she prepared herself to turn over the test, the weight felt heavy on her shoulders. She debated if she should have told Louis but after arguing with herself, she decided she to do it by herself.

The shaky fingers reached for the white plastic that determined her future. She closed her eyes as she turned it over. Waiting for her breath to calm, she opened her eyes with force and there sat the answer.

Two pink lines.

YN feels her chest tighten as her heart beats against hit with a thud. Of course she had considered the possibility of her being pregnant but part of her believed her period was just late.

She wasn’t sure how long she had been staring at the two lines, her phone had been pinging next to her. She knew it was Louis and her friends. They had planned to hang out that afternoon. Knowing they were probably waiting for her, she placed the test and box in her bedroom bin and decided she would hide it later on before her parents got home.

---

YN tried to put a smile on her face throughout the afternoon as they all went to grab some lunch, before heading over to Ella’s house. But Louis knew YN better than she realised, he noticed how much quieter she was. He saw when she pushed the food around her plate, hardly eating anything. He knew she was faking her smile as she chatted to Ella and Hannah from across the table. Louis quickly made up an excuse that he needed to go home and help with his sisters, YN giving him a grateful smile knowing it was her way out of the gathering too,

Trying to find a quiet moment to tell Louis, was very hard to come by in the Tomlinson house. YN loved spending time at Louis, the chaos and the love was enough to warm her heart. She loved that although Louis was seventeen, he would still play the childish games with his sisters and watching as he helped Phoebe and Daisy with their building blocks, she couldn’t help but think that the baby she was currently carrying inside her may be luckiest little one to have such a loving father.

YN tried to pluck up the courage, knowing she had to tell Louis soon because she could feel it threaten to spill at any moment. “Lou…can we-“.

“Louis..YN…come and have a look at our dance show!”. Lottie ran into the lounge, interrupting the teenagers. But how could they say no.

Time was nearing where YN had to leave to go back home. She still hadn’t got the chance to tell Louis but the longer it was going on, the harder it was to start the conversation.

The sound of knocking could be heard from the living area but neither thought anything of it as Jay went to answer it.

“Where is he? Did you know about this?”. The sound of her father’s voice bellowing caught YN’s ears.

Without thought Louis and YN went into the hallway to see what the shouting was about. “Carl…if you’ll calm down…whatever is going on we can talk about this”. Jay’s motherly voice was a comfort to YN when she could see the anger covering her father’s face.

“Me calm down? I’m not fucking calming down! Do you know how angry me and Emma are right now? I’ll tell you how angry…fucking furious!”. Carl’s voice and anger continued to escalate.

YN stood slightly behind Louis, embarrassed at the show her father was putting on right now. “Dad! Please!”. She gulped down the nerves, knowing how silly she had been leaving the pregnancy test in clear view.

His angry eyes snapped to see YN and Louis stood there. “You!” He pointed at Louis, trying to take a step forward only for Jay to place her arm to stop him. “You…you’ve ruined our lives! You-”. Louis protectively stood in front of YN, have stood behind him, their hands still secured in each others.

Jay had been calm since the moment Carl had began shouting but when it came to her children, she would not tolerate it. “Excuse me! You don’t talk to anyone like that…especially my son! That’s my son you’re talking to and I will not have it!”.

Carl let out a sarcastic breath with a fake chuckle. “Well I hate to break it to you darling but your precious little son has got my daughter pregnant!”.

YN could feel Louis tense as her father revealed what she had been hiding. She knew this was the moment that she was left just her and the little baby they had created. She could feel the tears burn her eyes, her heart thumped deep in her body.

“I’m sorry”. YN whispered for Louis to hear as she rested her head against his tense back. He remained still in his spot, silent as the words sunk in but his fingers rubbing her hand was the tiny bit of reassurance she needed in that moment.

“You are a vile and disgusting man!”. Jay spoke up, breaking the silence that surrounded the four of them. “You come to my house…shout, swear and scream when I have four young children sleeping upstairs…you threaten my son and humiliate your own daughter…you should be ashamed of yourself!”.

Louis and YN still stood in the exact same spot, watching the scene in front of them unfold. YN had been hurt by her parents for as long as she could remember but the next few words her father spoke stung.

“I’m ashamed that she is my daughter and got knocked up at seventeen…she’s humiliated us!”. His voice was full of hatred and the look of disgust on his face said a million words. “You get rid of that baby or you’re out on the streets!”.

“Get out of my house now before I call the police!”. Jay’s motherly instincts when into overdrive. “You don’t deserve a daughter like YN…and don’t come near my son and YN again!”. Jay slammed the front door shut, before turning to look at Louis and YN. “Cup of tea anyone?”.

---

With cups of tea in each of their hands, the three of them sat in the lounge area. YN couldn’t think properly at the moment. From finding out she was pregnant this morning, to not having a home anymore was a lot to process.

“I’m really sorry you had to find out that way”. YN didn’t look up from her hands that held the beige mug. “I’ve tried to find a way all day to tell you”.

“You don’t have to be sorry babe, I’m just shocked…I wasn’t expecting it”. Louis gently spoke from next to her. Jay listened from her seat, feeling so proud at how mature her son was being and it was in that moment that she knew she had raised him well. “We’re in this together, yeah?”.

YN couldn’t find the words but a small nodded was all she could manage as she looked up at Louis.

“YN?”. Her eyes followed Jay’s voice. “You have a home here and I’m with you both every step of the way…you’re part of this family!”.

Taglist:

@ell0ra-br3kk3r @slaymybreathaway @wh0s-nadii

[darkmatilda]

ׂ╰┈➤ the pumpkin reaper

part 1: first day of investigation

part 2 here!

in which you and the BAU are handling the case of a murderer in a small, sleepy town

tw: decapitation, description of a crime scene etc, mention of a suicide attempt, mental illness

contents: spencer reid x fem!bau!reader, solving a criminal mystery, angst, slow burn

words: 4k

“And how's school?”

There was silence on the other end of the phone.

“It could be worse,” said Jeremy after a moment, in an indifferent tone. You sighed, wondering if, as a teenager, you also answered everything, even more serious, open questions with vague remarks, driving the person asking how you were doing to frustration.

Answering that question, no, you didn’t do that. When you were a teenager, you didn’t have anyone who cared about you. Precisely for this reason that you practically tormented your brother with phone conversations, feeling immense guilt for leaving him with your parents. The same parents with whom you ultimately decided to cut off contact. You had never faced a more difficult decision — cutting them off or continuing a relationship that tragically affected your mental health? After each interaction with them, you felt weak, defenseless, insignificant, and above all, exhausted. It wasn’t even about your mother’s illness. They were just terrible people.

Your sixteen-year-old brother didn’t have that option. He had to deal with them until he turned eighteen and moved out. You regularly made sure he was okay. However, lately, you had the impression that his voice was becoming more and more devoid of emotion. Depressed. And you couldn’t do anything about it.

Prentiss appeared right in front of you. She noticed you were on the phone, so to avoid interrupting you, she tried to convey something silently. With her thumb, she pointed toward the main deck of the jet. From the movements of her lips, you were able to read, “Hotch is calling everyone.”

“Don’t think I’m going to let this topic go,” you said again to your brother. You could imagine him rolling his green eyes. “I have to get back to work; I’ll call as soon as I have time. Don’t get into trouble and take care. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

You ended the call and noticed a smile on the brunette’s face. Together, you joined the rest of the team.

“I heard part of your conversation,” she confessed. “Don’t tell me you have a kid that you’re hiding from us?”

“Who’s hiding what from whom?” Morgan chimed in as he walked in, holding two huge cups of coffee. He handed one of them to Reid.

Prentiss nodded in your direction.

“Did you know that y/n has a kid?”

You nudged her.

“I don’t have any kids. I was just talking to my brother,” you explained briefly. You didn’t like discussing your family, even with friends. In fact, you were often accused of being too secretive.

“I didn’t even know you had a brother,” Reid added, frowning. 

He, along with the rest of them, looked at you with mild surprise. You muttered something under your breath, shrugging. You felt a bit embarrassed that your family was the center of the discussion. You were saved from the awkwardness by your own boss.

“Can we start?”

JJ handed out the case files. As soon as you opened yours, you were met with an exceptionally graphic scene.

“ The bodies were discovered by someone from the forestry service, but according to the local police, anyone could have found them. It wasn’t hidden very carefully, as if someone didn’t care about it being discovered. A man and a woman, both decapitated. Before you ask, the heads were found in the same place as the rest of the bodies. Except for that, no serious injuries, just a few minor bruises and scratches. As if they were trying to defend themselves while they still could. “

No one spoke; the only sound was the turning of pages as the whole team focused intently on analyzing the photos. Your brows lowered in concentration, your entire face tense. Maybe you looked at things like this every day, but that didn’t mean it had become pleasant or that it didn’t disgust you. Sitting across from you, Reid was the first to speak.

“What do we know about the victims?”

At that same moment, as JJ spoke up again, you flipped the page and were met with two photos that looked like they’d been pulled from a social media account. Both people were alive, happy. The man was crouching next to a young boy who seemed to be pulling away, unwilling to be in the picture with his father. In the background, there was a garden, a tall white fence typical of American suburbs, and a slide. You barely stopped yourself from glancing at Hotch — he had a son around the same age, and this case might hit him particularly hard. The woman in the photo wore square glasses, with a cheerful, friendly gaze peeking out from beneath them. Round cheeks, a wide smile.

"Andrew Ward, 37 years old. He was one of the city councilors. He had a wife and one son, and he’d lived in this town his entire life. Then there's Jessica Larsen, the deputy mayor—she and her husband were both heavily involved in public life."

“A city councilor and the deputy mayor?” Prentiss repeated, thoughtfully resting her elbow on the arm of her seat. “Does anyone else feel like this could be some kind of score-settling? Revenge? Maybe from someone who was wronged by the city council over… I don’t know…”

"Higher bills," you said absentmindedly, blurting out the first thought that came to mind, immediately wincing at your own foolishness. You were still distracted by the conversation with Jeremy. You pinched your arm, trying to force yourself to focus on the case.

"Raising bills doesn’t typically drive people to murder," Reid corrected, pausing to glance at the files again. You never felt embarrassed when he pointed out your mistakes—he had a way of doing it so skillfully and politely. "Prentiss is on the right track; it could be revenge. Our UNSUB might hate authority due to some personal experience, maybe sees themselves as an anarchist, though it's hard to lean in that direction with so little information. Garcia, have you checked if the victims were connected in any way?"

The blonde woman on the laptop screen nodded.

"I’ve checked everything I could find about them, but unfortunately, I couldn’t uncover a single connection that might move the case forward."

Hotch raised a hand, stopping you from further speculation.

"That’s not all," he began, looking at each of you in turn. "Right after those two bodies were found, three more were discovered."

Morgan raised his eyebrows high.

"Five bodies? No wonder they called us in."

"And here’s where our biggest problem arises," your boss continued “Look at the photos. These three bodies were also decapitated but except for that, treated in a completely different way”

You turned the page again, and your heart skipped a beat at the sight. Other victims were killed with much more brutality, all covers in cuts and bruises. It was even hard to define their gender, but when you looked at the description you knew that this time, they were all women."Were two different people responsible for this?" Prentiss asked.

“Two murders cutting their victims' heads in such a small city?” spoke up Rossi, skeptically. 

"I don’t think it’s two different killers," you said hesitated, unable to look away from the photos. As you studied them, you absorbed every detail, trying to imagine the murderer inflicting these injuries. If anyone could have peered into your mind at that moment, they might have gotten serious PTSD. “Just…take a look at the wounds. There’s much more on these women and are visibly more brutal. But they look like they were inflicted by the same hand, the same person. The placement is often consistent," you noted. "How much time passed between the murders?"

“We haven’t gotten this information yet" said Hotch. "But based on my experience, I can say we’re looking at a matter of weeks."

You noticed that Reid was watching you closely. It seemed he was doing it unconsciously. When you sent him a questioning glance, he slightly blushed and immediately cleared his throat.

“I’m curious about what y/n said,” he admitted. It was clear to see the many calculations and analyses happening in his mind. This was evident in the increasing pace of his speech. “It really does look like the same person, but in different circumstances, perhaps influenced by different emotions. Maybe even with different motives. I realize the possibility of that is close to zero, but what if we’re dealing with a murderer with multiple personality disorder?”

A silence fell as everyone contemplated Reid's words. You made eye contact with him again — your tracks of thought began to overlap, your conclusions intertwining. Looking at his face, you felt, in a way, smarter and understood; it became easier to connect the fragments of ideas that had surfaced in your mind.

You shook your head.

 "No... I'm not sure. I understand what you're saying, but it seems to me that this isn't entirely true in our case. Your theory would suggest that two different personalities of our UNSUB committed these crimes, but in such cases, the crimes usually contrast more with each other. It's much harder to connect them, and here... I immediately noticed that this was the work of the same person."

Reid leaned in with interest over the table. Everyone seemed to look at you encouragingly, waiting for you to continue your theory. Yet you only took on a resigned, apologetic posture — nothing else came to mind. Any potential ideas felt too chaotic; some instincts accompanied you, but it was nothing you wanted to share out loud. You felt that they wouldn't help at all.

"We'll definitely know more after seeing the crime scene," Hotch stated, closing his files. With that, he ended the official discussion, giving you time to review the photos alone and think everything over one more time.

That’s exactly what you focused on for the rest of the meeting. You sat with one leg crossed over the other, a closed folder resting on your lap. You didn’t need to look at the photos anymore; you just needed to close your eyes and listen to your intuition. It definitely had something to say about this case. You just weren’t sure what…

Just before arriving at the scene, Hotch asked to speak with you privately. You couldn't hide it; you felt a bit anxious.

Maybe it was about your recent distraction. Of course, it was about your worry for your brother, but that shouldn’t have been an excuse; nothing should be distracting you. Or maybe he wanted to discuss something completely different, and you had just imagined this whole scenario in your mind. Knowing you and your tendency to overthink, both options seemed equally likely.

 "As I mentioned, y/n, I need to talk to you about something. It’s regarding your accommodation."

First, you breathed a sigh of relief that it wasn’t anything more serious. Then, your eyebrows raised in surprise. Accommodation?

"There have been some issues with the hotel we’re planning to stay at," Hotch continued. "We couldn’t secure separate rooms for each of you. You’ve been assigned to share a room with Reid. If that’s a problem for you, we can always look for another place, but that would mean you'd be away from the rest of the team..."

“No, it’s not a problem,” you assured him, perhaps a bit too enthusiastically. You were relieved that the conversation didn’t involve any serious issues, just a trivial problem with the room. Besides, why would it bother you to share a room with Spencer? It was only for a few nights. "I was afraid you wanted to talk to me about something else," you blurted out.

“About what?” he asked suspiciously. 

“Oh, nothing,” you replied quickly and somewhat squeakily.

Hotch smiled slightly at your reaction, but his gaze seemed to analyze you closely.

 Oh you idiot, why couldn’t you just shut up? you thought to yourself as you walked away.

*

The weather decided to play a trick on you.

 As you were driving to the crime scene, the waterfall was sliding down the windshield, almost making it impossible to see anything. In any case, there wasn't much to look at. After passing the main part of the town, you were surrounded only by forest — trees shimmering in shades of orange.

The view didn’t impress you much. You definitely preferred warm, sunny weather and lounging in the sun, rather than freezing every day after stepping outside and dealing with frizzy hair from the humidity. You liked the town better. It felt small and cozy, as if it were taken straight out of Gilmore Girls.

Prentiss was behind the wheel, and you were sitting next to her in the passenger seat, while JJ was your navigator. The boys took a different car.

“So,” Emily began, turning left at the intersection with her eyes fixed on the road. “You care a lot about your brother, don’t you?”

“Yeah,” you confirmed, sinking deeper into your seat. Why did she have to bring this up again? It wasn't that you didn't trust them; you just didn’t like talking about your family. It wasn't even about being ashamed — why dwell on unpleasant topics? Besides, as was well known, you were private. You had to be incredibly close to someone to open up, and even then, you didn’t lay all your cards on the table.

Together with JJ, they looked at you kindly and encouragingly. You acted like you were fascinated by what was behind the glass. Soon, you arrived at the crime scene. 

That means, before you reached your destination, you had to walk quite a distance into the forest. Since it was late October, the days had grown particularly short, and you could already see the first streaks of darkness between the enormous trees that seemed to watch you with their ancient gaze.

If you hadn't had the girls with you, you would have felt a thrill on your spine. 

The location where the bodies were found had been secured very thoroughly. Local police cars gathered there, and soon the rest of your team arrived. You glanced at your muddy shoes and made a mental note to start dressing more appropriately for the weather from tomorrow on.

The rain intensified. Emily pulled her hood tighter around her head. 

“Working in these conditions...'"

Her sentence was interrupted by the appearance of an incredibly tall man, somewhat resembling a bear. Long hair protruded from under his sheriff's hat, and he seemed to be about the same age as Hotch, with whom he immediately shook hands. 

“Agent Hotchner, we're from the FBI.'"

"Sheriff Russell” he introduced himself, pressing his hand to his forehead with concern. 'I've never seen anything like this, and I've seen a lot. I can't believe anyone from this town could do something like this; I know these people and...'"

“Can we see the bodies?" you asked. It was getting dark, and you wanted to get as good a look as possible. There was something intriguing about this case that had unsettled you since the moment you first opened the file.

Without waiting for an answer, you and Emily moved toward the secured area. Despite the circumstances, the corner of her mouth twitched.

"God, I hate this chatter," she sighed in annoyance. "I know these people; they’d never do something like this," she mimicked the sheriff’s deep voice. "Neighbors of serial killers always say that. Someone can be polite in conversation and keep five bodies in their basement — it’s not mutually exclusive."

You stifled a laugh. 

"Don’t forget the how could he have done it? He always said good morning in the hallway!"

“Or about kids. Sure, he was killing small animals since he was four and had a knife collection, but deep down, he was polite! I can't believe he shot up half the school…”

Hotch appeared right next to you, so you cut her off with a firm elbow jab. You accidentally hit her in the ribs, causing her to let out a groan. This only intensified your incredibly inappropriate amusement. Your boss was standing so close, so you covered your mouth under the guise of a cough. 

In the next thirty minutes, the laughter faded away.

You began by examining the bodies of the first victims, in chronological order. These were the three brutally murdered women. The whole scene seemed to be waiting for your arrival. Not a single detail had been altered, making it easier for you to connect emotionally with the situation. Most of the profilers you knew were meticulous about keeping their feelings detached from their work. It was the only way to endure this job for more than a year without committing suicide. You applied that strategy yourself, but not entirely.

When investigating a case, you tried to imagine yourself in both the shoes of the perpetrator and the victims. Often, you would close your eyes, attempting to visualize and feel it all in vivid detail. To step away from pure theory and let intuition take over.

It was likely the reason that, for the past year since you started this work, you hadn’t imagined a day without at least one tranquilizer and a sleeping pill.

After thoroughly examining the first crime scene, you drove to inspect the next one. This time, the victims were two people connected to the city council. The previous victims had been a teacher, a former resident of the orphanage, and a social worker. When you learned this, a heavy feeling settled at the back of your mind. You were certain there was a connection between these victims.

"Let’s consider what drives the unsub to remove the victim’s head" Rossi suggested.

Before you could even define the meaning of the question, Reid rushed to answer.

"Decapitation is one of the most symbolic acts of violence. The head represents thought, intellect, and control. By removing it, the killer may be expressing a need to destroy those aspects. It could also be a form of humiliation, a metaphorical stripping of their power and authority," he explained in a slightly robotic tone, as if reciting from a Wikipedia entry.

You smiled subtly at the thought. He noticed and gave you a questioning look, which you chose to ignore.

“That would fit for the two later victims," Morgan said, resting his hands thoughtfully on his hips. "They were on the city council — the unsub might have felt he was stripping them of authority and power. But how does that apply to the others? A social worker, a teacher, and an orphanage employee?"

You fixed your gaze on your dirty shoes, Derek’s question echoing in your mind.

 What was it all about?

*

You’d forgotten your sleeping pills.

Once more, you searched your toiletries bag, where you usually kept them. Not a trace.

You pressed your lips tightly together, angry with yourself. Your sleep problems weren’t that serious — were caused mainly by overthinking and constant worry. You didn’t have the motivation to take care of yourself in that regard. It was much easier to rely on the medication, and as long as it worked. Sometimes you forgot that you were even struggling with it at all.

“Is something wrong?” Reid asked, stepping out of the bathroom. Following Hotch’s words, you were sharing a room with him. “You seem upset.”

You shook your head dismissively.

“I just forgot something.”

Only then did you look at him. He was wearing plaid pajama pants and a gray t-shirt. You realized it was the first time you’d seen him in such casual, everyday clothing. He usually wore shirts, blazers, and vests — somewhat grandpa-like, but you thought it suited him well.

You realized you had been staring at each other in silence for quite some time. To break the awkwardness, you cleared your throat and decided to return to one of the exhausting topics.

“There’s something strange about this case. You know, I’ve thought a lot about your theory regarding personality disorder, but something doesn’t sit right with me. Aside from the fact that it’s very, very rare, it’s just… my intuition doesn’t agree with it. I hope I don’t sound like a shaman. 

Spencer bursted out and sat on the edge of his bed. In your room, only the standing lamp illuminated the space, casting a dim orange light around. Despite that, you could see the thoughtful expression on his face.

“We once dealt with a case where the unsub was struggling with that very disorder. He was abused as a child and developed a separate personality, Amanda, who harmed men similar to his abuser,” he shared in a quiet, less confident tone than the one he used on the jet. He must have been tired after a long day at work, and like you, frustrated that you hadn’t found anything.

Above all, the circumstances were different. Your conversation had shifted to a more personal level, concerning two friends rather than coworkers. 

“Do you see any similarities between these two cases?” you asked, intrigued since you had never dealt with a similar case yourself.

“Not exactly,” he shook his head. “At one time, I read a lot about that disorder. There was another instance where we had an unsub who…” he trailed off, a visibly tense expression crossing his face.

“It’s okay,” you quickly reassured him. You didn’t know what was bothering him, but it was clear he regretted bringing it up at all. You had never been one to push for more; you often felt uncomfortable with certain topics, and you were incredibly grateful when someone recognized your withdrawal and changed the subject. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

“Thanks” he whispered. But I think there’s something to your intuition. This whole case is exceptionally peculiar.”

““Well, you can call me a shaman now. By the way, are you planning to go to bed already?”

“And you?” he replied with a question of his own. “Actually, I’d prefer to read for a while, but I don’t want to disturb your sleep…”

Your broad smile clearly surprised him.

“I was hoping you’d say that. I wanted to spend some time with a book too”

In fact, it didn’t stem from your desires at all. You loved reading, but your brain was usually too tired for it in the evenings. However, you were aware that falling asleep would take you an unusually long time, and you preferred to make use of that time rather than stare at the ceiling.

You pulled out the only novel you had brought, Kafka on the Shore. You were about halfway through. Then you remembered you had meant to call your brother, but when you glanced at the clock, you realized that due to the time zone difference, it was already late at night for him. You sighed with a pang of guilt. You promised yourself you would do it tomorrow.

“Goodnight, Spencer,” you said when you both agreed it was finally time to go to sleep.

“Goodnight, shaman” he responded. 

You smiled in your pillow. 

part 2?

[loafgeto]

A BROTHEL…! BUT WITH MEN?

fushiguro toji x fem!reader

synopsis: you and your friends enter a brothel that has men, instead of women. thus, allows you to encounter toji. and of course, he’s just working and you’re just a client— so there’s nothing else involved, right?

contents: 18+ mdni, explicit language, fem!reader, she/her pronouns. NSFW, cunninglus, teasing, dirty talk, semi-overstimulation, begging, markings/hickeys, protected sex → unprotected sex, creampie, squirting, orgasms, size kink/difference, mentions of pregnancy, breeding kink, cockwarming, pet names. not proofread!

word count: 5k

notes: been thinking abt this lately with toji... might make a gojo one like this idk tho (before you progress in the story just know that i enjoy including the second round of fucking lol...)

your friends heard something interesting a few days ago. they were discussing it while meeting up for a hang out. you were the last to arrive, but your friends were chatting away about some topic you wouldn’t necessarily be interested in— at least not at the moment.

when you inquired and slip into the conversation about what they were discussing about, your friends appeared to hesitate and didn’t respond at first. but your curiosity lingered and you begged them to tell you. therefore— apparently, there was a unique and secret business somewhere in the city.

it was a legal brothel home, posing as a regular club building to the public. if you wanted to go to the brothel, you’d have to see the clerk by the golden elevator. but instead of the brothel having women employees— it was men instead. and your friends were considering on going, but they weren’t certain to invite you since you had just broken up with your boyfriend.

“what? that was like a month ago, c’mon guys. i can go,” you reassured your friends with a smile. sure, the break up still recalls to your mind and pains your healing heart, but you wanted to get over it and the relationship. so of course you’d need to do something thrilling and adventurous that would occupy your mind.

“okay, if [name] wants to then we should let her join us! who knows, she might meet a better hunk there,” one of your friends reply, giggling which makes the others agree.

“what? you know those dudes there are just working and not looking for any relationship,” you furrow your brows slightly, and sigh.

“oh, don’t give us that look, [name]! we were just joking,” one of your other friends intervened with a grin. you proceed not to say anything else as your friends further conversed about their excitement and expectations when they’re at the brothel.

“i hope the guys are hot.”

“i hope i fuck someone hot.”

they all giggled and fawned over the thought of having sex with someone handsome, or whatever. you just disassociated at that moment, not necessarily listening to the rest of the conversation.

later, your friends settled a saturday night to go to this brothel, which was in two days. you found yourself anticipating the consequences of your decisions for the remaining two days, and contemplated whether or not to actually go. well, you didn’t want to disappoint your friends after already claiming you’d go, so you decided to look forward to it.

when saturday night arrives, your friends picked you up and you all headed towards the brothel. it was a decent walk and a lot of people were attending the club. from what you could tell, most of the guests didn’t know that a brothel existed underneath the club. when you and your friends entered the loud room, you all headed towards the golden door tucked in the far back corner. it didn’t necessarily receive much attention, as there was a sign that wrote vip only.

your friends gave the clerk by the elevator an access code, in order for all of you to get in and moments later, another employee assists the group. “come this way, please,” the man gently gestures you all, and after exchanging glances he speaks again. “the golden elevator isn’t the main door that leads you where you want to be, so please come.”

you all trail after the man as he leads you down a quieter hall. large ancient paintings of animals and folklore creatures were hanged up with pure golden frames, easily giving your friends the creeps and caused them to huddle close together.

“i’m assuming this is the first time you’ve all been here?” the man inquires, still keeping his smile as he presses a button to another elevator. you all nod, and he chuckles. “i see, i hope you all have wonderful experiences. you all will be going to another floor where you can meet the men. and if you can’t select someone, then the host will attend you.”

the information seemed to enlighten your friends as they began smiling, giggling, and whispering bullshit that you didn’t necessarily hear when entering the elevator. the elevator brought you girls down two floors, and when the door opens— you all step into the premises of another floor where the tension is more intense and intimate.

there was music, neon party lights, and a limited amount of people. most men were occupied with their clients, while some were sitting and waiting for whoever to approach them. this brothel wasn’t typically like any other— it even appeared like a normal club. as you observed the area, it surprised you to see how many men were actually working in this place.

all of your friends ended up splitting from you and each other, leaving you alone to do whatever you desired. you sat by the bar, occasionally glancing at the men with their lady clients and wondered who to approach. however, you quickly became timid and ordered a drink. for all you know, it was going to be one hell of a night.

when searching for your friends, you could already see them all with someone— laughing and talking. you decided to get and walk around again- and maybe, you’ll meet someone approachable.

the area was decently large, filled with many secluded tables surrounding the large dance floor. you detected the unique decorations and designs of the interior, reminding you of those wicked businesses in those television shows. you were about to lap around the entire area again, when you felt a hand on your shoulder.

catching you off guard, you immediately whip your head around to see a man around your height. he was chubby and reeked a strong smell of alcohol and cheap cologne. you tried not express rudely, since you’re a client who didn’t want to get kicked out, and gently moved away from the man’s touch.

“sorry, can i help you?” you question with an awkward grin.

“no, no, sweetheart. i’ve just been looking at ya for a while now..” the man responds, a burp following after. “ya lonely? need someone? c’mon, we can go for a couple more drinks, yeah? get to know each other better and then we can go into one of the rooms..”

“s-sorry, sir. i’m not interested,” you hoped the decline was polite enough, and you slightly stepped away from the man. “in fact, i’m with someone..”

“aww, are you shy, my dear? i know you aren’t with anyone,” the man chuckles as he traces your steps, approaching closer to you. he grabs your forearm, tugging you towards him. “come on, it’ll be super, super fun.”

you were about to slap the man across the face when another hand presses against the man’s shoulder, earning both of your attentions. behind of the man was another— taller, muscular, and handsomer man with a scar on his mouth. his countenance was so powerful, yet intriguing and it destroyed the shorter man’s confidence.

“are you drunk again?” the taller man questions, his low and raspy tone making your knees weak as he pulls the other man away from you. he gives you a quick glance before returning to the other man. “ya know, you shouldn’t be approaching clients like that if you don’t want the business to fail. boss wouldn’t like that, would he now?”

“t-toji?! y-you shithead.. i’m not doing anything bad- and don’t meddle into other’s situations!” the short man spouts, face burning with embarrassment as he pushes toji’s hand off his shoulder.

“well it is my business since she’s my client,” toji tilts his head and crosses his arms, maintaining his cool and calm demeanor. “so, you gonna leave or what?”

“y-you..” the man is unable to say anything else, and without looking at you, he quickly walks past toji and pushes through other people walking behind, disappearing into the crowd.

you sigh out of relief, feeling your heart race faster than usual. you raise your head, meeting gazes with toji who was clearly unbothered. “thank you.. for that,” you nod your head, but toji just shrugs.

“it was nothing, princess,” toji raises an arm and gently rubs the side of his head with his palm. “you’re a client and you have the right to tell him to back off. don’t just be standing there helpless, cause no one else is gonna help ya.”

“but you did,” you reply, furrowing your brows.

“right, of course, i did. what i mean is— no one else is gonna help you but me,” a little smirk appears on toji’s lips as he steps closer to you, his build towering over yours. “you still need help, pretty girl?”

“n-no.. i’m.. fine,” you stammer, shaking your head and dart your eyes in different directions as you feel your face burn.

toji lowers his eyes to examine your flustered expression, and he chuckles, admiring how cute your face looks. he opened his mouth and was about to reply, when another girl’s voice grabbed his attention.

“tojiii!” a woman running behind of toji calls out to him and she instantly wraps her arms around his waist. you blink several times, watching the interaction and remaining silent. “i’ve been looking alll over for youu~”

toji turns his head and down at the woman, smiling and gently putting his hands over hers. “sorry, just got caught up in something. you having fun?”

“noooo. without you it’s just so, so boring. c’mon toji~ let’s go back to the table~” the girl whines and pouts, tugging toji closer to her breasts that were pushed against his back. and she finally notices you from the corner of her eyes. “oh, who’s this?”

toji gives you a look, before turning back to the woman again. “just another client. go back to the table, i’ll meet you there,” toji says, fully turning his body to face her.

her pout grows larger as she gives toji her pleading eyes. “no, toji, you gotta come with meee~ and i’ll always be your favorite right, toji? hmmmm?”

“of course, of course. now go back first, i gotta help this client, y’know it’s my job to do that,” toji pats the girl’s shoulder, trying to gently push her away from him. “then after that, i’m all yours, ‘kay?”

“it’s fine! i don’t need any help,” you blurt out, earning the attention of the two. the tension became sensitive, and you could feel the flustered emotions returning to you. toji tilts his head, gazing at you as if you just said something you shouldn’t have. “thank you for helping me though, i’ll be going now.”

without giving toji or the woman another glance, you turn around and walk straight back towards the bar. you could feel a knot form in your stomach as you push yourself up on an empty chair, waving a hand at the bartender to make you another cocktail. you press your arm against the cold feeling of the bar’s countertop, now regretting your choice of coming here.

you couldn’t approach any man at all, and even if you wanted to, they were already with a client. you were pretty much going to spend the rest of the night at the bar, drinking constantly until you couldn’t and eventually go home without informing your friends who probably didn’t even care at that moment. two of them were already heading towards one of the rooms, while the others— well, you didn’t know.

your mind endlessly thought about the imagination of toji sitting next to you and talking to you before inviting you into one of the rooms. that man had caught your attention. however, he seemed quite popular and probably had many clients tracing after him like a golden prize.

maybe i should just leave, you thought when finishing your fifth cup of alcohol. thankfully, you were a strong drinker, so you could smoothly leave without any complications. you took out your phone, turning on the device and opening the messages app to text in the group chat that you’d be leaving. to you, there was necessarily no point in staying here.

as you were about to get off the chair, you heard someone pull the seat next to you. turning your head, your eyes fall upon toji’s large figure. his dark eyes were already on you and a faint smirk appears on his lips as you bring your thighs closer together.

“leaving so soon?” toji questions.

“l-leaving? i’m not.. leaving,” the lie slips off your tongue, and you had no clue why you had done so. toji’s demeanor was so alluring and his approach made your heart flutter a bit. the man was gorgeous, even with his scar— he’s definitely someone you would have approached if you saw him sooner.

“didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but i saw you text your friends that you were leaving,” toji smiles, leaning his head to the side. “i’m guessing you haven’t approached anyone yet, huh?”

“no..” you shake your head, swallowing the nervousness you had aching in your throat. you turn your head slightly, detecting the girl toji was with earlier— it seems like she was searching for him again. “um.. what about the girl earlier?”

“oh, her?” toji hums, eyes wandering to the same direction before returning back to you. “you don’t gotta worry about her, princess. she should be the least of yours worries.”

“but she’s—“

“hey,” toji gently grabs your chin, turning your attention back onto him. “i said don’t worry about her, or anyone at all. just worry about me only, i’m keeping you company.”

your body seemed to make the decisions for you and you nodded your head, eyes never leaving toji’s as he returns his hand to his side. toji orders a drink for himself, noticing how much cups you’ve already gotten yourself.

“so, what brought you here?” toji questions, drumming his fingers against the bar’s countertop. he couldn’t help but observe your attire— the way your dress hugged your body and shifted near your hips, almost revealing your panties underneath. “i’m sure a pretty girl like you would have a boyfriend, no?”

“oh.. no. i broke up with my boyfriend a while ago,” you reply, shifting your eyes slightly away as you notice him constantly checking you out. not that you were uncomfortable, rather becoming timid. sure, you’d imagine talking to him like this— but now that it was actually happening, you didn’t necessarily know how to act. “what makes you want to work here?”

“huh, dunno. for fun, i guess,” toji shrugs as the bartender passed toji’s drink to him. he lifts the cup in his hands, gaze still on you. “you here for fun too, eh?”

“well, i’m here with my friends—“ you pause and shake your head as toji takes a long sip of his drink beverage. “well, i was with them. i’m pretty sure they’re all invited to the rooms by now.”

“that so?” toji smiles, finishing his drink before leaning closer to you. his face was nearly inches away from yours, and you couldn’t help but stare down at his lips and back up into his eyes. “what’s your name, by the way, princess?”

“[name]…”

“cute name for a cute girl. i’m toji, but i’m pretty sure you already know that,” he chuckles, still leaning close to your face. “hm.. how about i take you to one of the rooms?”

it took you a while, but now you’re in a private room with toji. as your lips moved against each other’s, his large hands groped your ass and he grinds his hips against yours. you can feel his hard aching dick underneath his pants, pressing against your lower belly and you moan against his lips because of the sensation.

“lay down, princess,” toji instructs as your leg hits the frame of the bed. you follow his directions, pushing your lips away from his and laid down on the mattress. toji initially observes your expression, seeing how needy you’ve already become for him. just imagining how wet you were was making his dick even harder. “wanna spread your legs for me, pretty?”

you didn’t hesitate to follow his request, spreading your wobbling legs apart which pushes your dress upwards to reveal your soaked panties. toji smiles and kneels in front of you, eyes staring at the drenched area. he presses a finger against your clothed pussy, getting a small whine out of your mouth.

“t-toji..”

“you know, ever since you came in here, i’ve been wanting to approach ya,” toji starts, hoisting both of your legs over his shoulder and he grips the fat of your thighs, pushing your hips closer to his face. he presses a soft kiss on your inner thigh, eyes looking into yours. “i wondered why such a pretty girl like you was here.”

toji continues to press kisses on your inner thigh, swirling his tongue around certain areas before gently biting on the skin. quiet moans fall from your lips as your hands grip the sheets of the mattress and your pussy quivered each moment his lips neared your wet area. toji leaves several marks on your thighs before pressing the tip of his tongue against your clothed clit.

“mm- fuck…” your head falls back as his tongue rubs against your sensitive clit, and toji chuckles before kissing your thighs again. “that already made you moan like that? shit, can’t wait to hear how you sound like when i use my tongue.”

toji lifts his head, opening his mouth to bite against the fabric of your panties and you watch as he lowers them down and off of you. he tosses the garment somewhere on the floor, eyes locked on your glistening cunt. “such a pretty pussy i have here, eh?” he compliments, thumbing your clit.

“fuck… i-i need your tongue in me now, toji..” you squirm as toji makes slow, sensual circles against your clit with his thumb.

“i hear you, princess," toji grins as he lowers his face to your pelvic area. he glides his wet tongue up and down your folds, before slightly pushing it into your needy hole. you gasp, feeling his tongue beginning to passionately fuck your pussy.

"t-that feels s'good, toji-" you moan, a hand going to grasp his hair. toji's smile became wider as he moves to pleasure your clit, swirling his tongue around and gently sucking on your sensitive sweet spot.

you had never felt such satisfaction before, even when you were with your previous boyfriend. hearing your soft moans made toji eager to fuck you at that moment, he was so desperate to know how your cunt would feel around him. but he's patient, wanting to create a more erotic atmosphere. toji's never met someone who could make him feel like this, after all, he's just working.

toji rolls his tongue against your wet folds, licking and savoring your arousal dripping out. then he returns to gently suck and kitten lick on your clit, grunting lowly at the feeling of your hand roaming and softly gripping his hair.

you start grinding your hips a little to match the sync of his tongue eating you out, making toji smirk. "so needy, aren't ya, princess?" toji chuckles, spitting his saliva on your pussy before returning his tongue back to spread the liquid over the area.

"mhm- needy- just for you, toji-" you moan as your body trembles, head nearly falling back against the mattress. toji flicks his tongue faster against your pussy, noticing that you were gradually reaching your orgasm and he circles his thumb on your clit to assist you closer to your climax.

your heart and breathing rate increases as your hips jerk slightly forward, your pussy ejaculating more of your arousal fluids that toji just couldn't get enough of. your body receives a great sensation of satisfaction and toji pulls his face away, his smug grin returning to his lips.

“you ready for my cock, princess?” toji questions as he stands up, unzipping his pants and lowering his boxers to free his throbbing hard cock leaking with pre-cum. your cute, soft eyes seemed to shine upon seeing his dick, causing toji to snicker. you nod your head indicating your approval and toji grabs out a condom packet from his pocket.

toji opens the condom pack with his teeth, slipping the thin protection on his cock after pumping it several times with his other hand. he wets the condom with your arousal before positioning himself properly between your thighs. you watch the entire thing, lips slightly trembling at the sight of his thick cock pressing against the entrance of your swollen pussy.

he starts by teasing your pussy with his tip and pushing your legs farther apart. you squirm, eyes begging for him to push his cock in. “p-please, toji~” you whine, making the man’s smile curve wider. toji quickly slips off his shirt, exposing his scarred but well-built body. “this pussy really wants it, huh?” he replies, figuring he’d take off your other clothes later and instantly shoves his cock past your folds and into your aching hole.

“n-ngh! fuck!” you cry out, eyes nearly rolling back as toji starts thrusting his hips. you swore you just came, but you couldn’t even tell as you were lust struck by toji’s cock. “shittt, princess— you’re clenching me so fucking tight,” toji groans, his cock twitching at the feeling of your sensitive walls sucking him in.

toji pushes your legs towards you with his hands, lowering his body over yours to quicken his thrusts. he grunts, fingers nudging into the skin of your thighs. your pussy felt so damn good around him, he was loving it and making him imagine how it’d feel like to fuck you without the condom. toji’s slept with other women before, several of the same ones a couple times, but they never gave him the same feeling you did. for some reason, it’s different with you and toji was certain that if you kept coming here, he’d fuck you and only you.

“you’re adjusting so well to me already.. agh, shit,” toji moans, pumping his cock deep into your pussy— like he was craving so much more of it. “mm- toji! p-please kiss me~” you moan out, squeezing your walls tightly around him as toji guides your legs to wrap around his waist.

toji lowers his face, pressing his lips against yours and forcefully pushes his tongue into your mouth. you both share a sloppy kiss, your tongues moving in a lustful desire as your hands travel to claw the skin of toji’s back as he pounds into you from the position.

“toji- ngh- yes, fuck me harder!” you beg when pulling away from the kiss, tugging his body close to yours. toji groans, feeling his balls become more sensitive from your indecent demand and thrusts quicker, rougher like you wanted. “s-shit. your pussy treats me so well, baby— like it’s just f’me,” toji grunts, realizing he was reaching his climax next.

“i’m about to cum- shit-“ toji huffs, smiling from the feeling of your pussy pulsating around him when he claimed he was about to cum. he pushes his body away, throwing your legs over his shoulders and gripping his arms around your thighs before roughly plunging his cock into your pussy. “fuckfuckfuck, i’m gonna cum too- toji-“ you cry out, eyes shutting as small tears stream down the side of your face.

“rub your clit, princess. show me how you touch your clit when i'm fucking you like this," toji demands as you push your hips up. you whine and without hesitating to his request, you lower a hand down to rub circles against like your clit, allowing you to reach your second orgasm. "that's good. such a good girl," he praises next with a groan following.

as you came over his cock, you could feel toji's warm cum through the condom when he stops thrusting. his large body hovers over yours and you both gasp heavily for air. your eyes seemed to stare at the ceiling for a very long time, but your attention is drawn away when toji slips his cock out your pussy and takes off the condom. he tosses the used condom to the trash can nearby and cleans himself up, and you notice that he was still quite hard.

"toji.." you call out, earning his gaze. you had pushed your dress off of you, leaving you in your laced bra. his eyes widen slightly, but he doesn't make a move as you unclipped your bra and threw it somewhere, revealing your breasts. "let's go for another round.. please.." you implore, getting on all fours in front of him.

toji's dick pulsates at the sight of your actions, and he couldn't reject you at all, not when you're looking and pleading for him like this. he nods, about to grab another condom when you stop him. initially, he's confused by your gesture and watches as you turn your entire body around, your ass facing his hard cock. "n-no condom.." you utter, exposing your still wet cunt to him.

"are you on the pill?" toji questions first, but you shake your head. he sighs, "you know that-"

"i-i know.. and it's okay.. so pleasee, toji," you beg again with a small whimper. toji reminds himself that you're still his client and apart of his job was to follow client's request no matter the circumstances. however, even if you weren’t his client… toji grabs the side of your hips with his hands, pushing your ass against his hips before aligning his cock at your entrance.

without warning, toji shoves his bare cock entirely into your pussy and you both moan at this different sensation. “o-oh fuck..” you mewl, your sticky walls already clenching tight around him. “s-shit.. [name], your pussy feels so damn good,” toji grunts, hips moving at a quicker pace.

toji didn’t mention to you, but you’re the first person here that he’s fucking without a condom and damn it felt way better than ever. with the position, it allowed him to penetrate deeper into your pussy and rub perfectly against your g-spot. your moans became louder and constant as his thrusts became stronger, and you began pushing your hips back to match the sync of his thrusts.

“fuckkk, yeah. fuck my cock, princess,” toji groans at your hip’s movements, head falling back as he starts heavily pounding you from the back. “feels s’damn good, yeah,” he’d add next, eyes lowering to the area in which you two connected.

toji’s dick quivers at the sight of your pussy spreading so well to his cock, since he was a much bigger man that you. he’d never imagine a small and cute girl sucking in his cock like this, begging for him until she couldn’t anymore. “tojiii, i love your cock sososo much!” you cry, your pussy squeezing him as if you’re trying to milk his cum out.

his cock is thrusted deep into you, kissing your womb and stroking against your sensitive g-spot. in that moment, you were so glad that you came to the brothel with your friends— and that you didn’t leave before toji approached you. your friends would probably be confused on your actions once they see you again, but who’d care what they would think? if they saw toji, you bet they would be wanting to pursue him too.

"ngh- fuckkk- i want keep coming here! i want to feel your raw cock fill up my pussy just like this!" you scream, eyes rolling back as your tears stream down your messy face.

"haaahh, princess. if you keep coming here wanting that then..." toji begins through his grunts and pants, hips slamming harshly against your ass that it'd leave marks. "you might.. actually end up getting.. pregnant. fuck-" he moans, feeling you squeeze his cock at his words.

"'ts okay, toji- i'll deal with- the consequences! pleaseee, i want your cum!" you reply through your heavy moans, head turning around to face him. your expression was so erotic and filthy, you practically had heart eyes just for him. it made toji wonder if he should just cum in you like you wanted. oh how it made his dick twitch from imagining knocking you up with his babies. "we're both going to deal with the consequence, princess. shitt fine, i'm gonna give you my cum since you've been so good to me," toji replies as his grip on your hips tighten.

"yesyesyes! oh god- pleaseplease give me your cum!" you plead over and over, and how can toji reject such a proposal like that? especially when it's coming from you? "fuck, fuck," toji chants, fingertips dipping into your skin as he feels his climax forming quick. "take all of my cum like the good girl you are, 'kay? don't you dare fucking waste it or else i'll fuck more into you."

maybe toji shouldn't have said that, but either way, you both were certain that there was no stopping even after this. at this point, he was going to work past his shift, but he didn’t care one bit. if you both were kicked out, he’d invite you to his place and you’d both continue fucking from there. constant sex with you was one of his desires, but first, he wanted to know more about you.

when toji pumps his warm cum into you, your thoughts seemed to have fade from your head. you’ve never experienced such erotic, explicit, and dirty sex like this before, and it’s something you’ll be craving for once you and toji go separate ways. well, that is if you do.

toji remains his cock in your pussy, wanting to keep warm. as you’re catching for air, you can feel him press kisses against your shoulder and down your back. his lips travel back to your neck and towards your ear, and you could feel his hot breath gently brushing against your skin.

“wanna ride me next, princess?”

LOAFGETO. thank you for reading! please do not copy my work or publish in another media without my permission.

a/n: GOODNESS THIS WAS AGONIZING TO WRITE.. i didnt know when i’d finish this but thankfully it didn’t take more than two days.. LOL. have a good day/night guys. likes + reblogs is appreciated!!!! <3

[7ndipity]

Partner Privileges

Jungkook x Reader

Warnings: none

A/N: Thanks to @queenofdragonsandcats for requesting this!

Masterlist

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Sharing food. He likes being able to look after you, both in bigger, more obvious ways, as well as little, subtle things, even if it’s just sharing a bite or two of whatever he’s eating. He just wants to make sure you’re taken care of and well fed(but he will insist on feeding it to you)

Helping with household chores. I’ve mentioned this before, but he seems to really enjoy moments of simple domesticity, and I think that would extend into your relationship. He’s very much a ‘playing house’ type of boyfriend, relishing in simple daily tasks with you. It might sound strange, but doing laundry together is a love language for him.

Info dumping. Yoongi and Jin joked during Suchwita about how Jungkook tends to space out or not always pay super close attention during conversations, but when it comes to you, he makes a conscious effort to pay super close attention, even if you’re just ranting about why mint chocolate is a superior flavor of ice cream. He loves talking to you about literally anything and sharing whatever weird topic y’all have fixated on lately.(my adhd ass is projecting a lil, leave me alone)

Babying each other. As I mentioned in my other lists, he’s had to kinda fight to shake the perception of him as the cute little maknae of the group, but he can’t help but melt whenever you dote on him, and the same applies to you. He doesn’t mind being your baby, but he absolutely loves getting to take care of his baby.

This one goes against almost everything I’ve said before about his possessive streak but, being friends with his friends. He’s very protective of his friends and loved ones, so letting you into his inner circle of friends is a real sign of trust and commitment from him, and seeing you getting along with Jimin or Mingyu means the world to him(even tho he might still get a lil jealous sometimes).

Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @main-bangtansmauyeondan

[mononijikayu]

love me anyway — fushiguro megumi.

Megumi was quiet for a moment, his gaze steady and thoughtful. Then, he asked quietly, “Do you love me?” The question took you by surprise, but you nodded without hesitation. “Of course, I do. I love you more than anything.” Before you could say more, he cut you off, his voice firm yet tender. “Then love me anyway.” he said, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “I’ll love you like that too. But in my way. Okay?”

GENRE: Alternate Universe - Idol AU!

WARNING/s: General Audience, SFW, Fluff, Romance, Mild Angst, Comfort, Care, Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Crying, Light-Hearted, Slice of Life, Confessions, Mutual Affection, Love, Hugging, Idol! Megumi, Idol! Reader, Someone Love Me Like Megumi Loves Reader;

WORDS: 5k words.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: the kanji translates to 1st bubble - 'love me anyway' and 2nd bubble - 'i'll love you like that too'; i was also supposed to publish this last night, but i was exhausted from the nightmare of trying to get admitted for classes at our unprepared uni. but alas, it is what it is. also, i keep thinking - would people be interested to ask commission me for fiction work??? if so, tell me~ anyway, i love you all!!!

main masterlist

kayu's playlist - side 900;

if you want to, tip! <3

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IF ANYONE ASKS ABOUT YOU, MEGUMI SAYS NOTHING. When Megumi Fushiguro was asked about his personal life, especially concerning his relationship status, he always took a measured approach. His calm demeanor, coupled with his reluctance to divulge details, created a mystery that intrigued fans and media alike. 

Interviewers would frequently probe with questions about who he might be dating, their curiosity piqued by his silence. Yet Megumi, skilled at deflecting attention, would maintain an air of nonchalance. He would often sidestep the inquiries with practiced ease. "I prefer to keep my personal life private." he’d say with a polite smile, steering the conversation to his latest projects or upcoming performances.

When pressed further, his responses would be deliberately vague. "I’m not seeing anyone special at the moment." he’d offer, though his tone hinted at something more, leaving room for speculation. Occasionally, he’d indulge in playful ambiguity, saying, "That’s a bit of a secret." allowing the press and his fans to indulge in their wild theories.

In truth, his silence was not a mere avoidance of the topic but a carefully crafted shield. The reality was that he was deeply committed to you, his fellow pop singer. To the outside world, he remained an enigma, but those who knew him well understood that his reluctance to discuss his personal life was his way of protecting something precious. 

Away from the spotlight, Megumi cherished the moments he spent with you. In the quiet of your shared spaces, there were no prying eyes, no pressure to perform or maintain a facade. Here, he could be himself—a man deeply in love, unguarded and tender in ways the world never saw.

He would often steal glances at you when you weren’t looking, a soft smile playing on his lips as he marveled at how effortlessly you fit into his life. It was in the little things—the way you brewed his coffee just the way he liked it, the shared laughter over inside jokes, the warmth of your hand in his as you walked through the city late at night, hidden from the world. These were the moments that mattered to him, far more than any public adoration or recognition.

Megumi's commitment to keeping your relationship private wasn’t just about maintaining his image—it was about preserving the sanctity of what you both had built together. The love you shared was too precious, too delicate, to be exposed to the scrutiny and speculation that came with fame. He wanted to protect it, to keep it safe from the prying eyes and intrusive questions that would inevitably come if your relationship became public knowledge.

In those rare instances when the pressure of the media became overwhelming, and the rumors started to swirl, you both found solace in the understanding that this was your choice. The secrecy wasn’t a burden but a conscious decision to prioritize each other over the demands of the world outside.

Megumi knew that one day, when the time was right, he would be ready to share his happiness with the world. But until then, he was content with the quiet, intimate life you shared—one that was filled with love, trust, and the unspoken understanding that you were both in this together, no matter what.

Fushiguro Megumi thought of this bubble as something sacred, a secret he held close, not meant for the public but for himself alone. It was his way of preserving the tenderness and intimacy of what you shared, a private world far removed from the demands and expectations of his public life.

If anyone took a closer look, they might notice the subtle signs—the small but significant traces of you woven into his daily routine. The Polaroids tucked into the inner pocket of his coat when he traveled were a tangible connection to you, a reminder of moments that were too precious to be left behind. These photos, capturing the essence of your time together, were his silent companions on the road, offering comfort and a sense of closeness no matter how far away he was.

Then there was the worn edge of the photo he kept in his wallet, a picture he glimpsed every time he paid for his usual iced Americano. The photo, though small, held a world of memories within its faded colors—a candid shot of you laughing, the kind of smile that made his heart feel lighter even on the toughest days. This simple act of seeing your face, even in passing, grounded him, reminding him of the life you had together beyond the stage and the spotlight.

During his live broadcasts, there was yet another clue—another Polaroid placed on his nightstand, visible only to those who looked closely. To the casual observer, it might seem like just another photo, but to Megumi, it was a piece of home, a visual anchor to the life he cherished with you. This photo was a quiet declaration, a subtle hint at the love that defined his private world, even if he chose not to speak of it aloud.

Each of these small, deliberate choices was Megumi’s way of carrying you with him, of keeping you close even when you were apart. It was a way of acknowledging your presence in his life without exposing it to the world, preserving the purity of what you shared. In this carefully constructed bubble, you were safe, your love shielded from the chaos and noise of the outside world. And for Megumi, that was all that mattered.

To the world, he was enigmatic, but in the quiet moments away from the cameras, Megumi’s heart was unmistakably yours. And he absolutely loved it. He adored having to see these polaroids, the ones only for his eyes and be reminded that you took them for him. Each one had notes behind it — the date it was taken, the place it was taken and unique declarations of love from you. One after the other. Only for him to see. 

It’s not that Megumi wants to keep you a secret—far from it. He dreams of the day when he can hold your hand in public, fingers intertwined without a second thought, and kiss you on the street, feeling the world fade away as his lips meet yours. He imagines looking up during a performance and spotting you in the VIP box, your face beaming with pride as you cheer him on, your presence a source of strength.

But he knows you’re not ready for that step yet. And he gets it, truly he does. Being public together is a huge deal, something that would bring your relationship under the intense scrutiny of fans and the media. The thought of everyone speculating, commenting, dissecting every interaction between the two of you—it overwhelms you. And Megumi loves you too much, loves you too much to ever subject you to something that could hurt you.

So he waits, never pressuring, always patient. He works hard to ensure you know how much he loves you, showing it in the quiet moments, in the little things he does just for you. He’s there for you in ways that matter most, understanding your needs, your boundaries. And you know that, feel that love in every glance, every touch, every word he doesn’t need to say.

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SOMETIMES, YOU THINK THAT YOU AREN’T GOOD ENOUGH FOR HIM. You know you really shouldn’t even be thinking that. But It was really hard not to think that. Even little things like this, being able to be together, he’ll make it possible. Just to be with you, he’ll move every schedule he has around. You watched him intently as he prepared for song rehearsals, the familiar rhythm of the venue buzzing around you.

Both of you had been invited to perform at the same song festival—two stars in your own right, each with a dedicated following and a unique presence on stage. Yet, despite the individual paths you had carved in the industry, there was an undeniable connection between you, something that always seemed to draw you closer, even in the vast world of music and fame.

The festival was a high-profile event, a convergence of talent and star power, where each performance was eagerly anticipated by fans and critics alike. You were no exception; your name alone was enough to generate buzz, your performance a highlight on the festival's lineup. But this time, there was something more personal, more intimate at stake.

His stage was scheduled right after yours, a coincidence that felt almost too perfect to be real. It provided you with the perfect opportunity to linger behind after your set, slipping into the shadows to watch him perform without drawing too much attention.

It wasn’t unusual for artists to stay and support their peers, but for you, it was more than just professional courtesy—it was a chance to savor the moments you had together, to see him in his element, knowing that soon, he would be gone, and the time you had now would be all you could hold on to for a while.

Megumi had only decided to attend the festival because he knew you would be there. The invitation had come at a time when his schedule was already packed with album promotions and interviews, and truthfully, he could have declined without anyone questioning his decision.

But the thought of spending even a few hours in the same space as you, of sharing the stage at the same event, was enough to make him rearrange his plans. It was rare for your paths to cross like this, and he wasn’t about to let the opportunity slip by.

The festival was not just a performance but a brief, precious reprieve from the hectic lives you both led. It was a chance to be together, to share a moment that was yours alone, even if it was in the midst of flashing lights and roaring crowds. The fact that you were both attending had turned what might have been just another event into something special, something you both looked forward to with a mix of excitement and bittersweet anticipation.

Because after the festival, there would be rehearsals, and then he would be off again, flying halfway across the world to promote his album. It was the nature of your lives, always moving, always in demand, but it didn’t make the goodbyes any easier. You knew that once he left, it would be weeks, maybe even months, before you could see each other again. The distance would stretch between you, filled with phone calls and texts, but it wasn’t the same as being together, as feeling his presence beside you.

Megumi was focused, his expression serious as he adjusted his in-ear monitor, the slight furrow in his brow showing his concentration. For a brief moment, his gaze shifted, landing on you. There was a quiet acknowledgment in his eyes, a connection that needed no words. You couldn’t help but smile, the simple act of being there for him filling you with warmth.

He caught the smile, and something softened in his features, though he quickly averted his gaze as the stage director’s voice echoed through the space, calling for attention. Megumi turned his focus back to the task at hand, but you knew that brief exchange had said everything it needed to.

In truth, it weighed on you—the thought that Megumi was always the one making adjustments, bending and reshaping his life around you. You couldn’t help but think it was unfair to him, that relationships were supposed to be a two-way street. Yet, here he was, always the one who seemed to be giving more, doing everything he could to be with you.

When you were upset and didn’t want to talk, he’d still reach out, calling you even in the middle of his hectic workday just to make sure you were okay. When you were sick, no matter how busy his schedule was, Megumi was always the first one by your side, taking care of you with a quiet devotion that left you both comforted and conflicted.

You couldn’t shake the feeling that you weren’t doing enough to reciprocate the love he so freely gave. It gnawed at you, a constant reminder that no matter how much you loved him, it felt like you were falling short. And that hurt—hurt because you loved him so much, and the thought of him always giving more than he received felt like a wound you couldn’t heal. You wanted to do better, to be better for him, because he deserved nothing less.

That feeling lingered, a quiet ache that settled deep in your chest every time you thought about how much Megumi gave and how little you felt you were able to return. He never complained, never once made you feel like you were a burden. If anything, he seemed happiest when he was with you, when he could be there for you. But that only made it harder to bear, because it felt like you were taking advantage of his kindness, his patience, his love.

You wanted to be the one to call him during a tough day, to show up unexpectedly and take care of him when he needed it most. You wanted to be the one making the sacrifices, the adjustments, to show him that your love for him was just as strong, just as unwavering. But every time you tried, it felt like your efforts fell short, like you couldn’t quite match the depth of his care.

The guilt was a constant shadow, always reminding you of how much he did for you. And no matter how many times he told you that it was enough just to be with you, that he didn’t need anything more than your presence, the doubt remained. Because deep down, you knew how much he meant to you, how deeply you loved him, and the thought of not being able to show that love in the way he deserved made your heart ache.

You resolved, quietly and firmly, to find a way to show him—to let him know just how much he meant to you. Because loving Megumi was the easiest thing in the world, but making sure he felt loved the way he made you feel was something you were determined to do, no matter how long it took. He deserved nothing less, and you would do everything in your power to make sure he knew it.

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IT WAS UNCOMFORTABLE TO SIT THERE AT THAT MOMENT. The ride home was quiet, the hum of the car engine the only sound filling the space between you and Megumi. The silence was thick, not with anger or resentment, but with the weight of unspoken emotions.

You sat beside him, staring out the window, lost in your thoughts. The city lights blurred as they passed by, each one a fleeting reminder of the moments that had slipped through your fingers—moments where you felt you hadn’t done enough, where you had fallen short as his partner.

The guilt gnawed at you, growing heavier with each passing mile. It was the little things that lingered in your mind, the times when you were too tired to ask about his day, when you were preoccupied with your own worries and missed the subtle signs of his struggles.

You replayed the conversations where you had said the right words but lacked the sincerity behind them, or the moments when you were present physically but your mind was elsewhere, distracted by the pressures of your own life.

You stole a glance at Megumi, hoping for some indication of what he was feeling, but his expression remained unreadable. His hands gripped the steering wheel, his focus seemingly on the road ahead, yet you knew his thoughts were likely miles away. You wondered if he, too, was wrestling with his own thoughts, if he was questioning your connection, or if he noticed the same cracks you did.

The guilt weighed on you like a leaden blanket, stifling the words you wanted to say but couldn’t find the courage to voice. You wanted to apologize, to explain that your distance wasn’t a reflection of your love for him, but rather your own struggles—struggles that had nothing to do with him but had somehow seeped into the space between you. But the words remained trapped in your throat, swallowed by the fear of making things worse.

As the car continued its journey, the silence grew more oppressive, filling the space where once there had been easy conversation and shared laughter. You could feel the distance between you, not just physical but emotional, a chasm that seemed to widen with every unspoken thought, every missed opportunity to connect.

Megumi, ever perceptive, noticed your silence. The way you stared out the window, lost in your thoughts, didn’t escape him. He knew you well enough to recognize when something was weighing on you, even if you didn’t voice it. The quiet between you wasn’t the comfortable silence you usually shared; it was heavy, filled with the unspoken tension that had settled in the car like a third passenger.

He glanced over at you, his eyes softening as he took in your expression—the slight furrow of your brow, the way your lips were pressed into a thin line. He could sense the turmoil swirling inside you, even if he didn’t fully understand its cause. Megumi had always been good at reading between the lines, at noticing the subtle shifts in your mood, and this time was no different. He could tell that something was off, that you were shouldering a burden you hadn’t shared with him.

His voice was gentle as he broke the silence, careful not to startle you from your reverie. “Why don’t you stay the night at my place?” he suggested, his tone laced with a warmth that he hoped would ease some of the tension you were feeling. “I’ll cook for you.”

He offered you a small, reassuring smile, trying to coax you out of your thoughts, to remind you that you didn’t have to carry whatever it was alone. Megumi knew that sometimes, all it took was a simple gesture to bring you back to the present, to help you feel grounded again. And cooking for you, spending time together in the quiet comfort of his home, was something he hoped would do just that.

“And then we could watch a movie,” he added, his smile growing a little wider, a bit more playful as he tried to lighten the mood. “I know you wanted to see a film recently, and I finally bought the CD for it.”

His offer was more than just an invitation to spend the night; it was his way of showing you that he cared, that he was there for you, even when words failed. Megumi knew you well enough to understand that sometimes, the best way to show his support wasn’t through grand gestures or deep conversations, but through the simple act of being there, of sharing a meal, a movie, a quiet evening together.

He hoped that by offering this, he could help ease the guilt he sensed you were feeling. He didn’t want you to think you had fallen short as his partner because, in his eyes, you never had.

Fushiguro Megumi had always valued the quiet, unspoken moments between you—the shared silences, the comfort of your presence, the way you understood each other without needing to say much. And tonight, he wanted to remind you of that, to let you know that no matter what was weighing on your mind, you didn’t have to face it alone.

As he waited for your response, his hand reached out to gently touch yours, a silent promise that he was there for you, no matter what. The warmth of his fingers against your skin was a quiet reassurance, a reminder that in the midst of all your doubts and worries, you had someone who loved you, who would always be by your side, ready to lift the weight of the world off your shoulders, even if just for a little while.

You looked at him, the sincerity in his eyes making the guilt even harder to bear. “I’m sorry, Megumi.” you started, your voice wavering as you spoke.

He furrowed his brow, turning his full attention to you. “Why are you apologizing?” he asked, his tone full of concern. “You don’t need to–”

You hesitated, struggling to find the right words. “I… I’ve been an inadequate partner to you.” you confessed, your voice heavy with emotion. “It’s not fair to you, Megumi. You’ve done so much, and I feel like I haven’t done enough in return.”

Megumi let out a soft sigh, shaking his head as he reached over to take your hand in his. “Don’t think like that, hm?” he said gently, his thumb brushing against your knuckles in a soothing gesture. “You’re always worthy of love, of my love. You’ve done well to love me too, you know?”

“But it’s true!” you insisted, your voice cracking as the weight of your feelings pressed down on you. “I feel like I’m always taking, and you’re always giving. It’s not fair to you.”

Megumi was quiet for a moment, his gaze steady and thoughtful. Then, he asked quietly, “Do you love me?”

The question took you by surprise, but you nodded without hesitation. “Of course, I do. I love you more than anything.”

Before you could say more, he cut you off, his voice firm yet tender. “Then love me anyway.” he said, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “I’ll love you like that too. But in my way. Okay?”

The simplicity of his words hit you with unexpected force, the sincerity behind them bringing tears to your eyes. Your Megumi always knows what to do. He knows how to reach you, to calm you down. To love you back to life. He reached up, wiping away the tears that had begun to fall, his touch gentle and full of affection.

“Don’t worry so much about what you think you should be doing.” Megumi continued, his voice soft and reassuring. “Just love me, and let me love you. That’s all that matters.”

His words wrapped around your heart, easing the guilt and replacing it with a deep sense of peace. You leaned into his touch, nodding as you let his words sink in, knowing that with him, it was enough just to be.

You leaned into Megumi's touch, feeling the warmth of his hand against your cheek as he gently wiped away your tears. His presence was soothing, a quiet strength that you could always rely on, and in that moment, the weight of your worries began to lift, even if just a little.

Megumi pulled you closer, his arm wrapping around your shoulders as he held you against him. The steady rhythm of his heartbeat was a comforting anchor, grounding you in the moment. He didn’t say anything more, allowing the silence to fill with the unspoken understanding between you. 

As the car continued down the quiet streets, Megumi rested his chin on top of your head, his fingers tracing calming patterns on your arm. “You don’t have to be anything more than who you are, okay?” he murmured softly, his voice barely above a whisper. “I love you for you—not for what you think you should be.”

His words, so simple yet so full of meaning, resonated deep within you. The guilt that had been weighing you down began to fade, replaced by a warmth that spread through your chest. Megumi had always been like this—steady, unwavering in his love, never asking for more than you could give.

You closed your eyes, letting yourself relax into his embrace, feeling the tension leave your body as you allowed yourself to be vulnerable with him. “I just want to make you happy, Megumi.” you whispered, your voice tinged with emotion.

“And you already do.” Megumi replied without hesitation, his hand finding yours and giving it a gentle squeeze. “Just being with you makes me happy.”

His sincerity brought another wave of tears, but this time, they were tears of relief, of gratitude. You tilted your head up to meet his gaze, your heart swelling with love for the man who held you so tenderly, who accepted you with all your flaws and insecurities.

“Thank you, Megumi.” you whispered, your voice cracking slightly as the emotions overwhelmed you. “Thank you for loving me.”

Megumi’s eyes softened, and he leaned down to press a gentle kiss to your forehead, lingering there for a moment. “You don’t need to thank me, you know?” he murmured against your skin. “I love you because it’s you. And nothing will ever change that.”

He pulled back slightly to look at you, his eyes searching yours, filled with an affection that made your heartache in the best way possible. “We’ll figure everything out together, okay?” he said softly. “We don’t have to have all the answers right now. As long as we’re together, that’s all that matters.”

You nodded, a small, genuine smile finally breaking through the tears. “Okay.” you agreed, your voice steadier now. “Together.”

Megumi smiled back at you, a look of pure love and reassurance in his eyes. “Together.” he echoed, pulling you back into his arms, holding you close.

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epilogue

A few weeks had passed since that quiet ride home, and in that time, something had shifted between you and Megumi. The weight of your insecurities had eased, replaced by a growing confidence in the love you shared. You found yourself cherishing the little moments even more—the quiet exchanges, the smiles, the unspoken understanding that connected you both.

One evening, after one of Megumi's performances, you found yourself backstage, watching as he wrapped up his set. The energy in the room was electric, the audience’s cheers still echoing as Megumi made his way off the stage. He spotted you immediately, his eyes lighting up as he walked over. Without a word, you reached for him, pulling him into a kiss, a moment of pure connection amidst the chaos around you. A friend snapped a quick Polaroid of the two of you, capturing the tenderness of the moment.

Later that night, as you looked at the photo, an idea came to you. You carefully positioned the Polaroid against a backdrop of Megumi’s stage gear, the memory of that kiss still fresh in your mind. With a smile, you snapped a picture of the Polaroid and opened your social media, ready to share this piece of your world with him—and everyone else.

The caption came naturally: "Here's more Polaroids for you to hide." It was a playful nod to the many photos Megumi had tucked away over the months, small tokens of your relationship that he kept close even when the world wasn’t looking.

You hesitated for a moment before hitting ‘post,’ but something in you felt ready—ready to share this part of your life, ready to take that next step with him.

It didn’t take long for Megumi to see the post. Almost immediately, he shared his own Instagram story, adding his own words beneath your caption: "Only if you let me love you anyway."

His words were simple, but they carried the weight of everything you both had gone through, every doubt, every moment of reassurance, every bit of love that had brought you to this point.

You smiled as you read his response, feeling a warmth spread through you. It was a promise, a reminder of the love you shared, a love that was strong enough to weather anything.

And as the notifications began to roll in, the world catching a glimpse of the two of you together, you felt at peace. Because you knew, no matter what came next, you had each other. And that was enough.

As soon as you posted the Polaroids on your Instagram, the reaction on social media was immediate. Especially on Twitter. Fans of both you and Megumi began flooding the comments with a mix of excitement, surprise, and overwhelming support.

Fan 1: "Wait, are they… official now? My heart can't take this! 😭❤️"

Fan 2: "These Polaroids are so cute! Megumi must be over the moon!"

Fan 3: "I knew something was going on! They’re perfect together. Look at that smile in the last photo!"

Fan 4: "This is the content we've been waiting for! I can't believe it's finally happening!"

Fan 5: "Only if you let me love you anyway" — Fushiguro Megumi, you romantic! 😍"

As you scrolled through the comments, your phone buzzed with an incoming call from Megumi. You know he must be excited. More than he would let on to show. And you knew only you would know. You answered with a smile, hearing the familiar warmth in his voice.

"You saw the post, huh?" you teased.

"I did, I did." Megumi replied, his voice soft but filled with emotion. "I wasn’t expecting you to share those photos just yet. But I want you to know that I’m really glad you did. I finally get to love you in front of everyone.”

"Yeah, I know." you admitted, your heart fluttering. "I just… I wanted to take that step with you. I’m ready, Megumi. Don’t worry. Just let me love you the way you deserve, okay?”

There was a brief pause on the other end, and you could almost picture the gentle smile on Megumi's face. "You already do love me. But let’s keep taking polaroids for me to hide, okay? I still want some things that are just for me, from you.”

You laughed, feeling a wave of affection for him. "I wouldn’t have it any other way."

“I love you.” He whispers on the other side of the line.

You smile, feeling butterflies. “I love you too.”

[girlbossagenda]

Hi! I love your posts! Can you do one on: how to stop fawning over pretty more “seemingly” confident and educated women our age? I tend to do fawning and it’s embarrassing because I want to have more successful and confident friends but I end up being a pushover or weirdly admire them wayyyy to much and I become nervous speaking to them. Thanks so much!

HOW TO STOP FAWNING OVER OTHER GIRLS AND BE YOUR N°1 FAN

Omg, this is such and underrated topic!! Thanks for asking, we usually see the beauty and the light in other people, to the point that we stop seeing the true beauty inside of us, sometimes we ever become doormats to our own friends, Time to change! So here's how:

౨ৎCREATE CLEAR BOUNDARIES౨ৎ

Girl stop showing up for every single little thing, especially if they won't do it for you too!

౨ৎDON'T SPEND TIME WITH THE SAME PEOPLE ALL THE TIMES౨ৎ

Try to enter in different rooms with different people and found in which roon you are more appreciated, maybe you shine more in a place full of alternative people or in a place with the classic ig influencer!

౨ৎDON'T BE EASILY ACCESSIBLE౨ৎ

People are going to take you fro granted if you're the one who always shows up, especially if the plan it's last minute, ofc, I'm telling you to not skip every meeting or people will start to not invite you, but take in consideration to live more for yourself.

Sometimes saying "No sorry for this day I can't" or "sorry maybe next time" can help you gain more appeal and make you feel more confident.

౨ৎPUT THEM DOWN OF THE MF PEDESTAL౨ৎ

Why bow to them and not bow to yourself? What makes them so special? Are you not the main character of your life? So act like it! take space, act like the leading role!!!

౨ৎTIME FOR A GLOW UPPP౨ৎ

If you are bringing down your looks, I suggest to actually practice some for of selfcare along side with putting in practice some glow up tips, starting from the basics to then reaching the top level!!(I might post a glow up guide soon!!)

౨ৎGET TO KNOW YOURSELF౨ৎ

When you know yourself, you know how much you are worthy, do it for your younger self, once you get to know how you are inside, you'll start to idolize your own self

౨ৎEDUCATE YOUR SELF౨ৎ

If it's education the proble, gain more knowledge, get educated, but don't always talk about it randomly ofìr people are gonna take you for a show off, instead try to share that knowledge by going to acculturated places, or inviting them out somewhere like a museum, a book review meeting, a festival etc...

Sorry for the late answer, you know In middle school I hed your same problem, but I solved it by simply avoiding this type of girls and focusing on myself, so every single time whe had some type of conversation I could handle it with my brain(I wasn't that much of a beauty back then lol). I hope you have a great day, and I hope I helped xoxo gougeous

-𝓐

[silence-burns]

Just A Prank

Fandom: Fast and Furious

It'd been a while since Han had a chance to meet with so many familiar faces. With the sun high in the sky, and the smell of barbecue in the air, it was almost possible to enjoy it all.

He tried his best to ignore all the photos being taken of him by Tej and Roman enjoying themselves a little too much.

“You did hear me when I told you that I don't need all this?” Han asked, even though he already knew the answer.

“Shhh, let the geniuses work. You're coming back to life in style!”

“Your silly dating app is no magical tool.”

“Oh no, no, pretty boy, the magicians are all in there, trust me,” Roman chuckled, not looking up from Han’s phone.

The day was too nice to stain it with pointless arguments, so Han turned back to his beer. His drink was slowly becoming lukewarm, both the sun and his warm palm working to heat it up.

He smiled to himself when he noticed Dom and Letty arrive in the driveway. Their boy was already running halfway through the yard. Han could've sworn it was only yesterday when he was taking his first steps. He made a mental note to visit the area more often. He had many reasons to.

“And what might this be? The lone wolf, drinking himself unconscious before the main course even arrives at the table? That's not a good look on you, Han.”

He glanced up at you and the beer froze halfway to his lips. You’d managed to sneak up on him, but no matter how many times it happened, his heart always skipped a few beats.

“I'm glad that being fashionably late is always a good look on you, then,” he replied through a tight throat, wondering whether you could hear the sudden rasp in his voice.

“How sweet. Good to know that one thing hasn’t changed.”

The smile you offered him blinded him more than the sun behind your back, but before his brain unfroze, Roman popped up right next to him, pushing the phone into Han’s hand.

“60 seconds on the app and look how successful you already are! The more the merrier, but I'd still suggest looking through this part in their profiles, just in case—...”

The rest drifted from Han's mind the moment he noticed your eyes looking down on his screen. There weren't any obvious changes on your face, but he saw the tension in your shoulders.

“Have fun,” was the only thing you said before you walked away from his spot to greet the rest of the ever growing family. Many voices overlapped, but he still only could hear yours.

Roman was already gone, unaware of what had transpired. He drifted off to the barbecue, acquiring a plate and a fork from somewhere Han couldn’t see.

Han put his beer down. He’d lost interest in it, and conceded the fight for its temperature to the sun.

The day wasn't supposed to go like this. It'd been a while since he last saw you. The time away had only made him miss the missions when the two of you paired up together more. Even if nothing ever happened, he could feel the invisible pull, as if gravity itself wanted to push him closer to you.

Getting it out of his head was a difficult task, and it only felt worse the closer he was to you.

Hours passed, and even though Han enjoyed the party and catching up with everyone, one thought at the back of his head wouldn't let him relax. He'd already turned his phone off, because dealing with the constant meaningless notifications was beyond his patience, but the harm had already been done. He could feel it in the way you made sure to be busy when Han approached, and how the only times you looked in his direction were during polite but group conversation that bounced from one topic to another.

It’d taken Han all of his self control not to run after you when he noticed you finally walking to the side, probably to lug a new crate of beer to the tables.

The evening sun was painting long shadows behind the house, but you still noticed Han following you.

“You can take the second one, if you're so eager to help.” You nodded to the side before walking past him.

Han took half a step to the left, blocking you ever so slightly.

“It was a misunderstanding,” he blurted quietly. He could've found better words to put everything back in place, but none came to him in the past few hours. “Roman was just being an ass. It's a very natural state to him.”

“I don't know what you're talking about. As far as I'm concerned, you are an adult capable of making your own choices. Have your fun, enjoy the world. That's what life is all about, right?”

The smile you presented him was just as wide as he remembered it, but it held no joy that used to pull him in like a moth to a flame.

“Life is more than shallow enjoyment. Especially when you bind yours together with another one.”

You snorted under your breath. The crate was not getting any lighter and your arms began to ache, so you put it down next to your feet. As much as you wanted to move on and get back to the party, it didn't look like you were getting a chance soon, unless you decided to walk directly through the blooming bushes next to the path.

“Han, we've been through this already. Just because we've—...”

“I was a fool for not making myself clear before, but I intend to fix it.” He took half a step closer without taking his eyes off you. “There is no reason for me to look at any of those strange apps Roman insisted on, because no one I actually want to find is in there. They are right in front of me and I have been too blind to see them.”

You blinked. He was still there, staring at you with a complicated mixture of hope and worry painted over his face. It was a strange sight coming from a person usually so composed, but a part of you was relieved to hear him.

“You could've just asked me to dinner.”

Han leaned down to effortlessly pick up the crate by your feet. “I could and I will. How about we start with a beer first?”

[genshin-impact-unofficial]

Danced With You Once Upon A Dream 🌠

Headcannons of Genshin boys seeing you in a ball gown and asking you to dance.

Ft: Diluc, Kaeya, Zhongli, Childe, Thoma, Ayato, and Alhaitham

Tags: Fem!Reader, crushes everywhere, jealousy, fluff, PG, GOOD VIBES ONLY, i chose a lot of smug men please spare me, no beta we die like men Notes: I JUST REALLY WANTED TO MATCH PRETTY BOYS TO PRETTY DRESSES! SUE ME! (Another repost!)

Diluc

Diluc is a known hermit. After his father's death, it was a rare sight to see him at any large social event. He preferred to keep it that way, but tonight's banquet is an exception. The masked vigilante accepted the invitation for an opportunity to eavesdrop on a fatui officer in attendance. Unfortunately, his person of interest appeared to be a complete no-show. The whole night was already a total bust.

Perhaps if he left right then, he could still do a patrol around Mondstadt before dawn. It was the enjoyable option compared to being approached again by another person seeking his attention. Idle chit-chat was never something he enjoyed much anyway and he was in no mood to talk business.   

Diluc contemplated his exit strategy that would avoid being stopped by anyone. An eruption of chatter drew everyone's attention to the main doors. There was a late arrival being announced. It was nice timing, he would just need to slip out during the commotion. How odd for one guest to kick up this much of a fuss... Diluc's curious gaze followed up to the large entry doors and inevitably fixated onto the beautiful figure, onto you. 

His plans to leave vanished with each step you descended down the grand staircase. Your flowing dress moved in such an entrancing way that he could swear you plucked it straight out of fairy tale. Diluc has been so busy with the winery and his investigations... he couldn’t remember the last time he had talked to you. Perhaps he should stay a little longer, if only just to catch up at least.

The red haired man was utterly enchanted by your movements. It explained why he was drawn in like a magnet, moving as if under your spell. He strode smoothly through the crowd to meet you at the foot of the stairs. His hand extended to guide you down the last couple steps, down to earth, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. When you finally glance up from your hands to meet Diluc's gaze, adoration is already clear across his features.

"Y/N" He greeted you, bowing to place a small peck on the back of your hand. "Its lovely to see you tonight." Diluc spoke slow and earnestly, as if channeling every ounce of his princely charm into that sentiment. You felt like butter melting into his warmth, becoming pliant in his hands. “May I?” Diluc gestured forward, asking if he could accompany you in. 

The presence of the elusive owner of Dawn Winery did little to quell the whispers and eyes on you. Now awoken from your dreamy haze, you became aware of just how much attention you've managed to garner. You looked yourself over. Had there been a stain that you missed? Were you not on theme? How embarrassing... Your panic was interrupted by Diluc's fond chuckle. It almost annoyed you how amused he seemed by your antics.

“There’s no need to worry. They’re staring because they can't bare to look away. You are simply captivating.” Diluc stated as if it were an obvious fact. “If you are still feeling nervous, how about a dance to get your mind off it?” 

Kaeya

Kaeya spent most of the ball like a fly on the wall, listening in on conversations here and there. To his dismay, there was nothing interesting happening tonight. The juciest thing he managed so far were the two Fatui delegates discussing their distaste of the liquor served. “Honestly! Can’t they provide anything stronger? It’s practically disrespect to serve-” A pause. “Hmm... well at least there’s plenty of eye candy to eat up.” The man changed topics in favor of discussing the newest arrival to his comrade.

From his vantage point, Kaeya discreetly surveyed the crowd. His sweep abruptly stopped when he spotted you in such an elegant gown. “My, my don’t you clean up well.” The captain chuckled quietly to himself. He smirked slyly down at you and thought of a couple ways to make you be the one to approach him.

His plans changed rapidly when he noticed how swarmed you were. You hadn’t even taken five steps before multiple men stopped you, a half circle was already beginning to form. Confusion and an awkward politeness were loud and clear on your features yet no one took the hint. 

The look of the situation bubbled up something in the pit of Kaeya's stomach. He would sooner cut off his silver tongue before ever calling it jealousy. It was accompanied by a feeling of annoyance. Do those men not have eyes? Couldn’t they see they were making you uncomfortable? They don’t even have the decency to let you greet your friends first before bombarding you.

He simply could not let this stand. As a knight, he is upheld to a code of chivalry after all. It was easy to weave his way through the other guests to get to you. “My dear Y/N, you made it!” Kaeya addressed you, loud enough to make a couple of the men turn to look. Without hesitation, he took the opening to wedge himself between the half turned bodies.

He made the maneuver look easy, like he had done this exact thing a million times over. The Calvary Caption smoothly took your hand in his and gazed into your eyes like there wasn’t a dozen people staring. He flash of a small smirk, with a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it glint in his eye before, he continuing his theatrics.

“You look simply heavenly.” Kaeya said in a sickeningly sweet tone, playing it up slightly for listening ears. “Now that you’ve arrived, you can do me the honors of bestowing me your first dance of the night. You did promise it to me after all.” 

You caught on quickly, nodding in agreement. That's all it took for Kaeya to lead you out of the corner you were trapped in and into the rest of the festivities. Once you both were out of earshot, you quietly thanked him. 

“There’s no need, Y/N. Those men were being simply unmannerly.” He laughed, a smug look creeping back onto his face. “Although, it would also be quite rude to make a liar out of me. So how about that dance?”  

Zhongli

Zhongli was familiar to with the formal banquets held on the Pearl Gallery. He did not always attend, but when he felt the desire to people watch the consultant accepted the invitation. The harbor is a beautiful heart of Liyue and the its people are the blood that pumps through her veins. To the being who laid its foundation, Rex Lapis viewed it like art to see the continued flow of life unfold before him.

He participated as the role an average guest. Someone may strike up a conversation now and again, in response he would chat idly about nothing at all. The visitor would then move on to their next conversation and Zhongli was perfectly content sipping his drink and taking in the evolving atmosphere.

The next shift in energy accompanied your arrival and his ember eyes watched the scene change before him once again. The former archon was fascinated by the buzz that rippled outward from where you stood. When you approached, people excitedly began chatting, smiling, and laughing. Knowing you well, he could tell you were radiating delight effortlessly, even while just greeting other guests. He no longer observed the gathering as a whole, his gaze instead followed the intricate detailing leading up your bodice. It was entrancing to watch each graceful step while you made your way around the ship’s deck.

Zhongli contemplated the notion of approaching you. Doing so would actively shift the trajectory of the evening. Taking your time for himself disrupts the organic flow of art he admired just moments prior. Would that be fair to you? You, who was someone he respected and admired. You, who looked so divine that it demanded all of his attention in that very moment. You, who Morax would willingly give all of it to.

The answer to his dilemma came simply while watching your eyes meet. Zhongli no longer felt content with his self assigned role of bystander. He had a deep desire to partake. Thus, the stubborn rock uprooted himself. 

“Hello again Y/N, you look blindingly radiant tonight.” Zhongli approached you with a graceful bow The lightest kiss is placed upon the back of your hand like a whisper. Your glowing smile and warm greeting prompts yet another decision. “It would be heavenly if you allowed me your company tonight. Would you care for a dance?”

The old archon had already inserted himself into this occasion's flow, it would be foolish not enjoy it in full. 

Childe

Jealousy. Jealousy. Jealousy. You were his guest after all. 

Tartaglia invited you, along with a few others, to a ball thrown by the Snezhnayan embassy. You weren't EXACTLY asked to be his date. Heck, the redhead even emphasized that you were invited as a good friend. But nonetheless, an honored guest of a Fatui Harbinger should be assumed off-limits. It shouldn't matter how stunning you look. Those men lingering around you will just need to be reminded. Politely of course.... 

Childe insisted on your attendance, even going as far as offering to buy you any dress you wanted for the occasion. You were still unsure, since you were aware of how bad the Fatui's reputation had tanked in Liyue recently. During back and forth with him, you jokingly pointed at an outrageously expensive dress in a shop display. There is no way, even someone with money, would drop that much on such a frivolous dress. It was double your rent for archon’s sake. 

Inevitably, when the dress was delivered on your step, you had to sit down to keep from falling over. You begged him to return it. There’s no way you could accept such an outragous gift. HE WAS BEING UNREASONABLE PLEASE! Like always, Tartaglia only laughed at you and teased how great you'll look in it.

The redhead didn’t expect just how great that was.

Some last minute Fatui conflicts allowed you to arrive before him. The party was in full swing and lively as ever. Guests were having enthusiastic discussions sometimes in a tongue you didn’t quite understand. It wasn’t long before you were pulled into a conversation, and then another. 

You already had five drinks lined up waiting for you by the time Childe arrived to the event. The fiery exchanges died down and a few peeled off rub elbows with the harbinger. Unfortunately, you were not able to go greet your friend. Three men blocked your path, insisting you finish your drink so you could dance with them. Any declination was laughed at and brushed over.

“Ah, you must be hard of hearing. My lovely guest here doesn’t wish to dance with you.” The polite words held a chilling edge to them. The men turned to face the instigator with puffed chests and annoyed glares. The Eleventh Fatui Harbringer stood behind them, a malicious smile staring directly back at them. Blood drained from the frozen men's faces and one by one they excused themselves with their tails tucked between their legs. 

“Now this isn’t fair.” Tartaglia sighed, his features relaxing now that is attention was on you. “You weren’t supposed to look this amazing in that dress Y/N.” He teased while also taking your hand and guiding you into a spin. “I may have to buy you a few more, so that I can see you like this more often.” You relaxed when you heard his playful tone return. You tell him to quit it while lightly slapping his shoulder. “Hm? I’ll stop if you agree to dance with me. How about it beautiful?”

Thoma

Thoma knew his way around a party. With so many connections to maintain, he fluttered from guest to guest like the social butterfly he was. When the Kamisatos throw a banquet, he’s usually busy with everything that goes on behind of the scenes. As a show of appreciation, Thoma was told to simply enjoy himself tonight. He was sure to take advantage of such an opportunity. The blond even invited you. Since he had no obligations, he could be the one showing you a good time for once. 

It was comical how obvious his double-take was when you arrive. The boy's green eyes sparkled and his mouth hung slightly ajar in awe. He catches himself, remembering his manners. Surely, it couldn't be proper to gawk at your friend so openly. 

Some habits die hard. The Kamisato Clan’s resident housekeeper is the first to greet you and guide you in. “Y/N you look....! Hah, I don't even know how to describe how beautiful you look. I'm utterly speechless." Thoma's charming smile was blinding when he looked at you. For someone rendered speechless, he didn't stop there. "That dress is perfect on you and the color just make your eyes... wow.”

You are showered in compliments. How he is doing it with a straight face? Thoma tone was so earnest and genuinely delighted to behold you, but each word made your face burn in embarrassment. You had to insist that he to stop to prevent your incoming heart attack.

“Ah, sorry Y/N. I must have gotten carried away.” He chuckled, only then finally showing an inkling of bashfulness. “Here, allow me to show you around, I have some people I’d love you to meet.” 

Thoma offered his arm and guided you around the festivities, while also subtly showing you off to everyone and anyone. Like two peas in a pod, you laughed and talked while you mingled around. Anyone who didn’t know better would think you were a fresh couple struck with puppy love. But in Thoma's oblivious mind, he saw himself as only your attendant for the evening. He was simply there to ensure you’re a great time. He was happy with this.

The blond noticed your eyes drift over to the dance floor. It's then that he toed a line of where a servant should stay. It would be selfish for him to take you from the party and be the one to dance the night away with you. Sure, he wanted to..... he really wanted to. Would that be ok? Well... what was life without risks? If this was not proper, he'd happily accept whatever consequences.

“Y/N, would you like to dance with me? It would hands down make me the luckiest guy here.”

Ayato

Ayato was bored of the banquet too soon after it begun. As Yashiro Commissioner, he hardly had a moment of peace. There was a multitude of important people in attendance and out of courtesy he exchanged pleasantries and discussed light politics. His lines were well rehearsed, polite and non-confrontational on any one matter. 

 He didn’t know you were on the guest list until your arrival. It didn't go unnoticed how you dress style and color pallet correlated perfectly with the Kamisato Clan's traditional attire. He deduced that Ayaka must of had a hand in both of those happenstances.

As if confirming Ayato's suspicions, Ayaka was the first to greet you. He watched the two of you excitedly talk amongst yourselves. She gestured toward your dress with a not-so-subtle two thumbs up from her. There was a growing chatter amongst the the guests. In less than five minutes you managed to become the center of talk. Not just anyone was warranted to wear Kamisato colors to their events, and so extravagantly at that too. Even with Ayaka’s clear public approval, people will imagine drama where there is none. 

Ayato had to admit, he couldn't tare his eyes from you. The clan head he was speaking to, continued going on and on about business dealings. Meanwhile in the commissioner's head, he began to map out how to speed run through the rest of the interactions he was obligated to have tonight. If he played his cards just right, he may have a moment to chat with you. If time allowed, he may even be able to squeeze in a single dance.

 Ayaka inevitably was pulled away to attend to her other duties, but she encouraged you to feel free to mingle and have fun. Once she left, the eyes on you and the quiet murmurs became much more apparent. 

Ayato noticed your previous excitement shift into anxiety. Left like this, you would be eaten alive by these ruthless socialites. You might even leave before he had a chance to make his way to you. This definitely won’t do. Ayato politely excused himself from the mind numbing pleasantries and briskly made his way across the banquet hall. Others who approached him received a similar kind but firm dismissal.

“These kinds of people always find something to gossip about, trust me.” You jumped, not expecting the sudden company. Least of all, you weren't expecting the head of the Kamisatio Clan to be the one to approach you. You look around at all the prying eyes and quickly compose yourself. You deeply bow to the man in front of you and state your name and status as a formal greeting. It felt strange since you were both so well acquainted as good friends. It was better to be safe than sorry in your opinion. You waited to be greeted back in a similar manner so that you could be released from your bow.... but there was only silence.

“Hah! There’s no need for that Y/N. You shouldn't feel the need to speak so formally to me for their sake.” Ayato's hand was slightly covering his mouth to stifle a few stray chuckles. You stood up properly and frowned at your friend in more embarrassment. Ayato sighed, amused, and leaned down to meet your eye level. “Really, there's no need for that. Besides, with how exquisite you look tonight, I should be the one honored.” The commissioner took a knee and placed a princely kiss upon your knuckles. Voices began to erupt around you two.

“Hm... Since everyone is going to be gossiping anyway, how about we give them something to talk about?” Ayato asked smoothly, his hand already leading you toward dance floor by the small of your back. 

Alhaitham

Alhaitham was only there because he was FORMALLY WARNED that he would be reprimanded if he missed another mandatory Akademiya event. 

The scribe was the definition of a party pooper. He sat in the corner with the best lighting and cracked open the book he had brought along. (This is the equivalent to being forced to go to an office Christmas party for this guy.) Any attempts to talk to him were either ignored or efficiently rudely turned away. 

The book became front once he finished it twice over. Alhaitham knew he should have brought a spare. To pass the time, he turned off his noise cancelling headphones and waited. People tended to say more when they thought you weren't listening. To his dismay... some conversations were just not worth listening to. The scribe became so bored he actually began his third re-read at some point. 

“Is it even allowed to wear something so....... adverse to an Akedemiya function? That has to be some sort of dress code violation.” Two scholars whispered to one another just within earshot. Ah, finally something interesting. 

Alhaitham spared a discreet glance from behind his book to the controversy of the hour. It was you... how unexpected. And how you were dressed, also unexpected. A quick glace had become more akin to appreciation. You stood defiantly confident in your body conforming emerald gown, meanwhile scholars were bending over backwards to avoid getting close at all costs. As if being associated with you would also get them a violation too.

The scribe shut his book since he had become interested enough in the situation to give his full attention. He had an idea what this was all about but this was definitely not the outcome he would have bet on. 

You had mentioned your annoyance with the Akedemiya’s dress code to him. You even submitted a few applications for an appeal. A couple even got approved through him before ultimately being rejected by the grand sage. It made no sense! Why were you being dress code on the exact shade of green you wore? Or that your attire had to be floor length? For archon’s sake you were even told your comfortable shoes were too dirty to be acceptable. And you definitely showed them. Alhaitham didn't bother hiding the way he eyed you over. And recalling the rules and regulation.... there’s technically nothing wrong with your outfit. Although, you were guaranteed to get an earful tomorrow by the sages. He decided with that alone that congratulations were in order.

“I must say, this a wonderfully scandalous way to prove your point.” Alhaitham mused while approaching you. You rolled your eyes at his comment and both relief and stress washed over your person. While thankful for some sort of company tonight, your antisocial colleague was the last person you expected to run into here. You greeted him stiffly while preparing yourself for the endless teasing sure to follow. Alhaitham had just enough respect for your efforts to hold his tongue for now. He instead held out his hand in an invitation, the hint of a smirk emerging across his features.

“You know, dancing is technically only 'frowned upon' at these kind of events. Care to piss off a few more old men?”

You guys were about to be in so much trouble...

<A/N: Another repost from my old blog!!! I love this one! The only things I changes were made for the better I think. I really gotta stop writing these at like 3Am and calling it a day. SOME OF THESE WERE SO CONFUSING BEFORE EDITING IT. Anyway thanks for the follows and likes I'mma keep on trucking these out. This was was particularly long so the rest should be faster. "should">

[01zfan]

housequake pt. 2 | j. sc

soccer player!sungchan x cheerleader!reader | 9k words

i kinda got carried away with leading up to the party...y'all know me i love to type a little too much. also sungchan wears mr. burberry cologne in this.

contains: smoking, partying, and drinking

housequake: during the party | after the party

after the police crashed shotaro’s party, everyone became paranoid. guest lists were kept small and big blowout parties turned into medium sized gatherings or calm kickbacks. 

some people complained about it, how the looming authority of the cops took away the joy of being young. there was the constant fear of being busted, especially from the kids that were caught and given a warning by the cops. your team complained about it too. you found it odd that they complained about the small parties when a majority of it was spent outside, passing around substances. very few times did you actually see your team inside the houses of the party instead of the lawn. you never said this out loud because there was nothing your team hated more than being considered hypocrites. you preferred to tough the weather conditions rather than try to navigate sticky floors and loud music. atleast this way you could actually hear your teammates as they ran through topics of conversation while smoking cigarettes down to the butt.

speaking points of your little huddle changed each week. you had started referring to them as your debriefs of the week. some topics would be on a rotation, ever now and then there would be something so monumental that happened it would be brought up time and time again. when you were freshmen, it was when karina caught her ex red-handed with a former member of the cheerleading team. your huddle combed over every detail of the night, adding in things that didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things but just gave you more to talk about. each time you thought you were done and then you’d hear an i just think it’s funny how before everyone dove back into the conversation

as of late, you and sungchan became one of the main topics of conversation. it started when you and ryujin successfully escaped from shotaro’s busted house party. you barely had time to look back at sungchan as ryujin pulled you out the room and down the stairs. even though it was inevitable a party of that size in a neighborhood that quiet would get busted, it was still scary. warnings from law enforcement evolved into tickets and in school suspension after a call home. you even heard a case of someone having to get picked up from the station. you saw that some of your classmates had already been made into examples. they sat lined up on the curb like ducks in handcuffs while officers wrote them tickets.

before you could walk out the front door right to the cops, ryujin grabbed your hand and pointed towards shotaro’s backyard. you looked at the cop coming through the front door and locking eyes with you before turning on the ball of your foot, running towards the sliding glass door. kids rushed beside you going in all different directions. you knew it wasn’t nearly as scary to get caught by the cops, but the haste of everyone else made adrenaline pump through your veins. 

when ryujin said your only option was jumping the fence you wanted to tell her that your legs were still exhausted from what you were doing in shotaro’s room not even five minutes ago. you didn’t have time as you ran past your slow peers, or narrowly evading the cops that were in shotaro’s backyard trying to grab whoever they could.

ryujin let go of your hand to get over the fence, and you had little time to prep yourself before you leaped over it. you had to thank your career in cheer for helping you clear the fence with ease. you saw a few of your peers get stuck on the fence and that’s how they were caught. you felt like a criminal on the run when you swung your leg over the fence to cut through the yards of shotaros’ neighbors. a few had their lights on, yelling at the small crowd of teenagers as they ran from the police. you recognized a few faces of the people who were able to escape. eyes were focused and everyone ran at full speed trying to hold all their things as they ran from the sound of police sirens. all you could think about were the soles of your poor cheerleading shoes as you ran through garden beds and stone walkways. 

you and ryujin kept running long after everyone around you stopped. the two of you didn’t slow down until you found an exit from the yard, emerging onto the street. ryujin grabbed your hand again and pointed at karina’s car. you don’t know how ryujin noticed the car that was parked underneath the streetlamp. the lights were off and you couldn’t see anyone in the car. it was almost ominous, seeing the single light shine down on the matte black vehicle. 

you two jogged across the street, the sound of your cheer shoes hitting the road louder than the police sirens down the street. karina and chaeryeong’s seats shot up when ryujin pulled on the backdoor car handle.

by the time you made it to karina’s car your shoes were a mess. the pristine white was replaced with dirt and mud, and it looked like it was going to stain. you and ryujin were huffing in the backseat trying to catch your breath. karina wasted no time turning on her car to leave the area.

you didn’t catch your breath for another five minutes. just as you thought you were calming down, your mind took you back to your encounter with sungchan. you barely had time to comprehend what happened before being pulled away. with each breath you remembered the way sungchan puffed into your ear, or how he was moaning for you when he was close. when you closed your eyes to focus that only made things worse. you swear you could see the way sungchan looked at you seared into the back of your eyelids, or how he leaned his head back when he came on your thighs.

ryujin caught her breath before you did. when ryujin was able to speak again she wasted no time to tell the story of how a guy was able to get you to go upstairs. her side of the story was dramatized and exaggerated, but it made karina and chaeryeong’s eyes go wide nonetheless. you were still breathless as you shook your head to try and squash ryujin’s lies, but it was no use. karina’s interest was piqued as she tried to figure out who the man was.

karina looked at your expression for only a second in the rearview mirror before gasping out loud. karina was so shocked her car swerved on the road slightly and had to be corrected by chaeryeong putting panicked hands on the wheel. you had to remind yourself that karina did nothing but smoke tonight, she was the safest one to drive out of everybody. you could probably ask her how the other girls got home to avoid talking about the elephant in the car, but it was too late when karina whispered his name.

“sungchan?” karina said. 

ryujin nodded her head and you stuck your head in your hands, suddenly too embarrassed to even think. you felt karina reach towards the backseat and hit your knee in exclamation.

“i. fucking. knew. it.” karina seethed after each hit

she was entirely too excited, mouth open in surprise as she laughed. karina and ryujin laughed together, waiting for your explanation. you shook your head and ryujin took matters into her own hands. ryujin recounts the story and karina nods her head excitedly, eyes on the road as she gathers in all the new information. chaeryeong corraborates the story, nodding along as ryujin tells karina.

“so i see chaeryeong getting chatted up by that girl on her team that is always hitting on her right? so i go over to her just for a second to bring her back with me because she looks uncomfortable as hell.” ryujin says.

“not true.” chaeryeong says unconvincingly. 

you can practically hear ryujin roll her eyes as you look up from your hands. you see ryujin pointing her finger at you as karina steals glances by looking at her rearview mirror. 

“before i can bring her back, i see this little player walking up the stairs,” karina gasps again and ryujin nods her head. “i see her walking up the stairs with sungchan. his hand is literally on her ass by the way.” ryujin says

“his hand was on my shoulder.” you say matter-of-factly. 

karina looks to the rear view mirror to laugh at you.

“you don’t deny anything else?” karina asks.

her eyebrows are raised and the car fills up with giggles as you say nothing in response.

“i didn’t know you had it in you.” karina says.

“i didn’t know he had it in him.” you correct.

ryujin and karina exchange looks. chaeryeong freezes before turning to look at you in the backseat. you can feel ryujin turning to look at you too. everyone has an extremely confused look on their faces and you subconsciously match their expressions.

“wait. you guys fucked?” ryujin asks.

your eyes are wide as you nod. you thought they knew, but the playful atmosphere in the car changed almost immediately. your three friends are silent as they look to one another. you consider opening up the car door and barrel rolling into the road to get away from the conversation.

“this changes everything.” karina says.

the car is silent again and you see chaeryeong and ryujin nod their heads in agreement. your eyebrows furrow in confusion as you try to understand what karina means.

“how?” you ask. “you and eunseok have fucked.” you turn your head to the side to look at ryujin and chaeryeong. "you two have fucked."

“well that’s different. we’ve been fooling around for awhile.” karina says.

“your dynamic with sungchan is so different too.” chaeryeong says.

you look at chaeryeong in amazement that she has so much to say and she shrugs at you to say sorry. you know she’s not wrong when ryujin and karina nod their heads in agreement. 

“it’s gonna be so awkward.” ryujin says.

karina turns on her blinker to go into her neighborhood. you try to come up with a rebuttal or defense but you know it’s the truth.

“i know. it’s gonna be great.” karina says smiling.

ryujin and karina were right. the following monday at school you saw sungchan first, and your mind immediately went to shotaro’s party two days prior. you wondered if he thought about the night as much as you did or if he was as nervous to see you as you were to see him. you debated on walking into an empty classroom to avoid the situation all together, but it was too late. sungchan made direct eye contact with you while anton and eunseok walked next to him. you felt like all their eyes were on you, and you there was a sinking feeling. you imagined yourself becoming the subject of their locker room talk. so when they came closer to you in the hallway your hands tightened around you backpack straps and you looked down, continuing to walk. you completely missed sungchan smiling at you and his awkward little wave and the way he turned his head to look back at you.

anton and eunseok were confused seeing sungchan try to get your attention. they didn’t even think about the time at the party that sungchan was unaccounted for, or how shotaro blew up their groupchat talking about jizz on his towel.

“what was that all about?” eunseok asked.

sungchan shrugged his shoulders and readjusted his backpack.

“i thought she saw me.” sungchan said simply.

they didn’t ask him to explain further. eunseok and anton just continued to talk about the next soccer game and how they were going against their rivals. sungchan was barely present for the conversation, nodding his head to seem engaged. 

it went on like this for the whole day, sungchan thinking about how you passed him by in the hallway without saying a single word. he thought about you and him in shotaro’s room, how embarrassed he was after the fact. sungchan started to think you were embarrassed of the situation too. his face started to feel hot and he couldn’t stop himself from thinking you weren’t satisfied with his performance. you could’ve easily lied to make sungchan feel better. he couldn’t stop himself from putting his head in his hands at the thought of him not being able to please you. sungchan had the habit of losing himself when chasing his pleasure, he was afraid it was to the point that you didn’t have any fun.

when you sat at your table for lunch all their eyes were on you. you looked to ryujin and karina, they avoided your eye contact, picking at food on their plate. you tried to remain as inconspicuous as possible, eating your food while the rest of the table stared at you. you took a bite, feeling all of their eyes burn holes into your skin. you look up from your plate innocently, eyes darting to all your teammates.

“what?” you ask.

everyone at the table groans at your benevolence.

“don’t even.” yunjin says.

“details. now.” ningning says.

you look at karina and ryujin. they shrug and immediately get defensive.

“you didn’t say we couldn’t say anything!” ryujin says.

you can’t bring yourself to talk about the situation in detail. your team settles for hearing your awkward encounter with sungchan this morning, how you two made eye contact and didn’t interact. your team becomes your active audience, cringing and giving sound effects to your story. some of them even turn to look at sungchan sitting at a table with his friends. he barely eats his food, pushing around his fruit with a fork.

“he’s looked like a lost puppy all day by the way.” chaeryeong says.

“i mean look at the poor guy.” yunjin says.

she hides a smile and you look over yunjin’s shoulder to look at sungchan. you can’t lie and say he doesn’t look downcast at his seat. he has always been the worst at hiding his emotions, you have seen frustration take over multiple times during the season. he’d visibly roll his eyes at the referee when a bad call was made, and you have seen him get defensive when his teammate was pushed down. but that fiery spirit you saw on the field was nothing like the man sitting at the table, stealing glances at you ever so often. 

when sungchan looked up at the same time you did you both made eye contact. so lost in eachother’s own minds made both of your eyes go wide, embarrassed for some reason to show you were thinking about the other. you held eye contact for a beat too long, eyes darting to your food a little too quickly. your friends laid witness to the whole thing, most of them cringing.

the monday after the party and the party itself gave your team alot to talk about. so now each party they would subtly try to bring up sungchan, trying to see if there were any updates. it bothered them to no end that you would just smile and look down shyly before shaking your head. you were awful at keeping secrets so you simply chose to stay silent. they could see the heat in your cheeks and the way you bashfully shrugged your shoulders, but they didn’t ask you anymore questions.

they didn’t know that by the time the next party came around, you were seeing sungchan consistently. you saw him again nearly colliding with him in the library. it was an accident on your part but negligence on whoever it was that ran into you. you turned around, ready to give whoever it was the meanest look you could muster. but when you realized it was sungchan, the expression on your face changed to pure shock. 

he was no better, getting ready to apologize profusely before his eyes went wide.

neither of you could figure out what to say. you didn’t know it would be so awful to hookup with people at parties and never speak to them again. as you stared at sungchan you were at a loss for words—you had to shake your head several times when you felt your eyes wondering. you tried to push past him quickly to give your groupchat another thing to cringe over. but before you could get away, sungchan called out to you. he reached out his hand as well, but he pulled it back to rest by his leg.

“can we talk?” sungchan asked

that talk led to both of you quietly confessing that you would like to continue seeing eachother. you both kept it a secret from your teams in an effort to keep the mess contained. so many instances of your two teams fooling around made you want to keep everything personal until you decided where the relationship was going to go. 

after the first date you were inseparable. after the second date sungchan asked to be your boyfriend. after the third date sungchan started dropping hints that he wanted to tell the world you were his girlfriend. he started walking you to all of your classes even if they were on the other side of the campus and holding all of your things even if his hands were full. sungchan started dropping his things off in class a little earlier, just so he could lighten the load you had to carry. you adopted your own ways of doting on sungchan. your doting came in the form of notes in his locker on game days wishing him luck and grabbing his hand when you both were alone. it was simple signs of affection, but no matter what sungchan shyly put his hand down and started smiling uncontrollably. 

by the time the next weekend party rolled around you were heavily involved with sungchan. you both found it humorous to sneak around behind your teammates backs, although you weren’t really trying to keep it a secret. you just liked playing dumb when your team would bring up you and sungchan.

when you sat outside of sungchan’s house with your huddle while they passed around their substances you couldn’t stop smiling. something about parties now were even more enjoyable than they were before. even when your group got mad at the fact that they had to move to the backyard to smoke you remained happy, quickly looking through each room for your man. he was constantly going to each room of his house making sure everything remained in tact. 

sungchan knew he was a little bit too high strung to throw big gatherings like shotaro did. after his friend got busted the unspoken responsibility to throw house parties landed on sungchan’s shoulders. he hated the idea of strangers being in his parents house so he settled for a smaller guest list and a designated schedule for when the party was over. he also made his team agree to help clean any messes that were left when the party was over. sungchan was trying his best to not get the police called on him, so he was constantly monitoring the volume of people and the music. sungchan felt an unbelievable amount of stress pacing around his home. it was freezing outside but he sweat from the anxiety, and he couldn’t stop himself from putting people’s drinks on coasters. he decided he was never going to host anything like this ever again. 

the only source of relief sungchan had from the night was seeing you. it was in quick snatches and in between moments of sungchan catching someone doing something they weren’t supposed to. at first your interactions were rushed. sungchan would only be able to grip your shoulders quickly before stopping someone from running into a framed picture hanging on the wall. he kissed your forehead quickly during another part in the night before stopping someone from going into his room. it wasn’t until the party was winding down that sungchan was actually able to flirt with you the way he wanted to. 

it was ironic, the harder he tried to seem cool the more awkward he felt. when sungchan put his hands into his pockets to lean over you, he felt like an idiot. the only thing that kept sungchan going was the way you looked up at him, and nodded your head slowly anytime he asked you if you knew how pretty you were. right as sungchan would be getting into the feeling of it all, he would see another one of his guests about to do something that would get sungchan reprimanded by parents. he kissed your cheek before running off, giving you his saddest look.

you didn’t care if sungchan didn’t spend all night with you. you were having fun outside with your friends hearing them talk about whatever came to their minds outside. it seemed like this time was the only relief you got from your hectic school schedules and grueling practices. 

just as your huddle started talking about you and sungchan, you saw him come into the backyard. he had a bottle of beer in his hand that was just for show as he nervously approached your group of girls. 

“the party is about to end,” sungchan rubbed the back of his neck as your team looked at him unamused. they continued to smoke as sungchan got even more nervous. you smiled at the situation, kicking a rock around as sungchan tried to get in everyone’s good graces. “my parents are gonna be home in the morning.” sungchan said.

your team didn’t react besides karina who nodded to him. sungchan looked at you and smiled, bringing his hand that was awkwardly behind his back to wave at you. it was awkward and he did it for no reason, bringing the attention of your teammates to your interaction. you could feel their eyes drift from sungchan’s hand to yours as you smiled and waved back. sungchan stayed there for a moment with his eyes only on you before he remembered the presence of your teammates. he walked away after looking around your huddle, and slightly tripped while heading back to the door. you failed to hide your smile as your team teased you for the awkward interaction.

you spent the remainder of the party outside with your team, staring at the sliding glass door of sungchan’s house. the door in the kitchen led you right outside, where the main group of people resided. you saw more and more people clear the space as time passed. occasionally you would get a glance of sungchan instructing his team on where to clean up. sungchan would also sneak peaks outside where your team remained unmoving.

“looks like the party is over.” you say casually.

your attempt at sounding casual failed. the moment you finished your sentence your huddle turned towards you with wicked smiled on their faces.

“trying to be alone with sungchan?” karina asked.

“that’s why she’s trying to end the party early.” yunjin laughed.

instantly you shook your head and raised your hands in defense. 

“i don’t know what you guys are talking about.” you say.

it was no use. you were teased the whole time while your group left through the gate in sungchan’s backyard. they only got louder when you said you were staying behind to help clean.

“you’ve never helped clean up after a party in your life.” ryujin said.

your whole team was laughing while you tried to make up an excuse. you didn’t hear the end of it until the door closed to karina’s car. even in the team groupchat they were talking about you. the moment karina’s car backed out of the driveway your phone’s ringer was going off. you were getting sent texts talking about the importance of safe sex and to report back about how good sungchan was at actual sex when you were done.

you were defending yourself over text while walking back into sungchan’s house through the back door. the same kitchen table that was covered in spilled drinks and bottles of hard liquor was completely clean. the whole house seemed to be clean now with the help of the soccer team. they had stayed behind too, walking through sungchan’s place with bags and cleaning gloves on checking for spills or leftover trash. 

you leaned against the table in sungchan’s kitchen waiting to see him again. his teammates passed by you, getting ready to tell you it was time to go home before realizing who you were. when they saw your face, they would nod politely before walking off to continue cleaning. you tried not to think too much of it, maybe they thought you were waiting for your teammates that were long gone. 

sungchan was checking each room of his home trying not to seem frantic. he started at the very top, peaking into the empty room of his parents and then walking down the hallway to check his. when he saw that all of the upstairs was empty, he was happy that there were no stragglers. but when sungchan checked the downstairs living room and the guest room he felt himself begin to panic. he started to think that it was only him, his teammates, and leftover partygoers in his big house. sungchan started swinging open doors without knocking, only muttering a sorry to his teammate in the bathroom before continuing to check the rooms. sungchan almost ran past you to look outside before stopping in his tracks.

you looked up from your phone to see sungchan in the entryway of his dining room. you were still leaning on the table looking up to your boyfriend from something unimportant on your device. you took in sungchan’s frazzled appearance and the way he was slightly out of breath from running around his house. he ran his hand through his hair, pushing the strands from his face. he cleared the singular step that took him down into the kitchen with ease and walked towards you.

“you had fun?” sungchan asks.

sungchan’s perfume gets to you before his hand does. when he leans forward you smell the cleanliness of sandalwood and a hint of spearmint before the warmth and comfort of nutmeg and cardamom fills your nose. the woody cleanliness of sungchan makes you the drunkest you’ve ever been, it almost makes you fall off the counter you lean on. you’re drawn closer to him, and feel him everywhere before he even touches you. 

sungchan brings a gentle hand rests on top of yours as he leans his body closer to you. he’s is at an awkward angle, almost like he is trying to stop himself from invading too much of your personal space. you look down at the shirt he managed to keep clean all night. the baby blue polo for your school uniform it’s too formal for a house party, but the collar looks perfect to grab. you have to fight to stop yourself from closing the space between the two of you. your mind drifts to the image of how the fabric would look wrinkled between your clutched fingers. 

sungchan’s hand that doesn’t rest on top of yours goes underneath your chin to push your gaze upwards. you let your eyes connect with him, and your hands have to grip tighter to the edge of the counter. if anyone else was in the room they no longer mattered—only you and sungchan existed in the space of his kitchen.

“it was alot of fun.” you said.

“it wasn’t as big as taro’s parties.” sungchan said.

you shrugged your shoulders, trying to seem nonchalant. you felt like you were going to snap off the edge of sungchan’s counter with the force of your grip.

“i like smaller parties. they’re calmer.” you say.

sungchan nods in agreement. you see hie body pause for a second before he lets his hand rest on the edge of the counter next to yours. you quickly try to loosen your grip, but you see sungchan hold the edge until his knuckles turn white. it becomes harder to remain calm as sungchan’s eyes get softer. he still refuses to come closer into your space. it's almost torture having him close enough to smell but too far to touch casually.

“i barely got to see you.” you continue.

sungchan nods again. he surprises you by coming in a little closer, his hand underneath your chin brings you to him. you use your hands on the counter to move your body towards his.

when someone clears their throat in the kitchen you both jolt. sungchan’s hand immediately drops from your face and you turn your head away from whoever made the noise. you look outside the window of sungchan's kitchen, looking at the empty yard where you oncee stood. sungchan lets go of the counter to stand upright. he clears his throat too, and you can hear him scratching his head.

“we need help finding more bags.” you heard a voice awkwardly say.  

“i showed you where already.” sungchan said.

“i forgot.” he says simply.

you let a tiny laugh escape you and sungchan shakes his head. when the person turns to leave the kitchen you look and see that it’s sohee. he sat next to you in your home economics class last year. now you would have to avoid him for the next couple days. sohee turned around for a moment and you could almost feel sungchan next to you trying to inconspicuously shoo him away. sohee looked lost for just a moment, looking around where to go before walking out of sight. 

sungchan’s hands that were in the air suddenly moved to his hair to adjust the strands. he looked at you again before swallowing his nerves.

“go upstairs and wait for me?” sungchan asked.

he left the question in the air to let you decide what you wanted to do. his teeth were showing by the time he was done talking, an awkward smiling playing on his lips. you remain straight faced, the only expression showing in your eyes.

“is it going to be just us?” you ask.

you looked past sungchan to his mostly vacant home. the only evidence of a party that remained were the stragglers and the sparse messes on the floors. you saw crumpled red solo cups and occasionally your foot would step in something sticky. your team is long gone. they seemed to have disappeared after you told ryujin your plans, and you’re sure ryujin told everyone else. 

sungchan plays with the short sleeve of your shirt, thumbing the hem so he can touch your bare arm. his hand travels up from the fabric until he reaches your face. he used his thumb to stroke the apples of your cheeks. his eyes focus on the way your skin moves underneath the light pressure of his thumb when he speaks.

“just us. i’ll put people on the street if i have to.” sungchan says. 

you laugh and put your hand on his, moving it away from your face. his eyes snap back to yours, looking to see if you had changed your mind. you try to seem facetious, like you have something in store for him when you get him alone.

“your room is on the right up the stairs?” you ask innocently.

you start heading the correct way when sungchan nods quickly. he stays there for a moment, just to make sure you’re heading towards the stairs. he peaks over his shoulder to see the person that he almost got out the house settled back on his couch. sungchan starts backing towards the person on his couch as you walk towards the stairs. you turn your back but you can hear sungchan call out to you from the living room.

“i’ll be up there soon.” he says excitedly.

when you get to the base of sungchan’s stairs, the way up is daunting. you believe going up shotaro’s stairs were easier, even if his stairs were bare and had to carpet to help traction your feet. shotaro’s stairs had people shoulder to shoulder, not giving you the chance to be alone even if you wanted to. but up sungchan’s stairs—thirteen to be exact—was his empty room waiting for you. you tried to not trip on the even steps, and tried to seem as relaxed as possible incase sungchan had turned around to check that you went into the correct room. your posture is straightened as you try to make yourself seem calm and collected, and your hand grips the railing with a white knuckle.

you somehow make it up, and immediately make a beeline for sungchan’s room. you waste no time closing the door behind you, trying to give yourself as much time as possible to relax. you pace around sungchan’s room in the same timid path to try not and disrupt anything. you look at his desk and his chair that has his backpack hanging on the back. you turn on his lamp and look at the papers he has laid out. 

when you feel like you have looked for too long, you walk to his dresser to read the trophies and medals that rest on top. they’re dusty, some of them newer than others but they all say the same thing. when you get tired of that you move to sungchan’s black bedside table. you debate on opening the tiny drawer, just to take a peak at what’s inside. when the temptation becomes to strong, you walk around the foot of sungchan’s bed to go to the other side. you study the photos and posters on his wall, slowly making your way across his room. at the very end, the closest spot to his bed you see the black and white photobooth pictures you took on your second date. you smile looking at the four photos on top of eachother. only in the first and last one does sungchan actually look at the camera; the two in the middle he spent locked on the expressions you made for the memories. you still remember having to manually move his head to take the last photo. 

you were leaning in close to the photos when you heard the door open. your mind was preoccupied by snooping around sungchan’s room that you almost forgot why you were in here. the fleeting idea of stripping down to your undergarments and waiting on his bed for him posed all provocatively crossed your mind. the idea left your mind almost as soon as you realized you couldn’t look at sungchan’s bed without your stomach doing flips. it was too late anyway sungchan was in the room with you and you turned from the photos on his wall like you were caught doing something you weren’t supposed to. 

sungchan enters his room hesitating. he stands in the open doorframe, to let the light from his hallway spill in. he debates with himself quietly, before using his back to gently close the door. when it’s just the two of you in the room the atmosphere changes. you watch sungchan’s every move as he comes further into the bedroom. he messes with something on his desk before coming around the foot of his bed to get closer to you. this is different from the anonymity of being in shotaro’s room. you are looking at the memories and snapshots of sungchan’s life while the possibilities of how your night is going to go hangs in the air.

sungchan sits on the edge of the bed and gently taps the space beside him. the invitation is timid, almost as timid as your shy steps towards him. the springs of his mattress give underneath your weight, and the dip caused by sungchan's body causes you to get slide closer to him. you can feel sungchan prop a hand behind your body as he leans back slightly. you let yourself lean on his arm, and sungchan flexes to give your body something more stable. he points to the photo booth pictures that are tacked to his wall with the hand that isn’t behind you.

“those are my favorite photos of us.” he says.

you hum in agreement, and let your body lean further into sungchan’s.

“that was a good day.” you say.

for a moment, you and sungchan stay like that, sitting on the edge of his bed while looking at the photos. the silence is comfortable, both of you leaning further and further into one another. you can feel the tension in the room go up as sungchan moves the hand behind you to wrap around your waist. it's slow, first picking at the belt loop of your jeans before going underneath the bottom of your shirt. his hand is warm against your waist, and you scoot closer to him. you can't get any closer without going to sungchan's lap, you only move to show him his touches are invited. you continue to breathe in sungchan, trying to calm your heart by looking at the photos on his wall.

“is everyone gone?” you ask.

“eunseok just left to drop off anton,” sungchan moves his hand to rest on your thigh that’s closest to him. “it’s just us.” sungchan says.

you finally get the courage to turn your head. you look at sungchan, your own face reflected in his eyes as he gets closer and closer to you.

both you and sungchan close your eyes at the same time before the kiss. it’s slow only a gentle peck to figure out what the other wants. too deliberate and overthought on both ends, completely different from the first time. you almost pull back as doubt creeps in but sungchan pushes forward to keep your lips connected. he’s quick, and his lips linger longer. you relax into sungchan as he sets the rhythm.

once you find a steady pace you both become more and more desperate. your hands touch various places on sungchan’s arm to find a good grip and sungchan’s hand goes underneath your chin to slightly push your head up. his other hand that wraps around your waist pulls at your sides underneath your shirt. 

sungchan’s kisses falter, an offering for you to take the lead. you do it without hesitation—one hand reaches behind his back to the nape of his neck and the other clutches his shoulder. you tilt your head and sungchan mirrors your movement, giving you all the access you need. you both become starved, needing more and more with each kiss. the obvious doesn’t have to be said as you two dive into one another. both of your hands move to sungchan’s face to pull him in closer. he responds by getting off the bed and gets in front of you. your lips never separate as sungchan lets you suck on his face.

he’s a good teammate on and off the field, letting you kiss him until you tucker yourself out. when you pull away to catch your breath sungchan goes to your neck, bending even closer to lightly suck and nip at your skin. you clutch the sides of his polo shirt in your hands at the sensation. his plush lips tickle your neck, and the way his large hand tilts your head to the side makes you sigh contently.

you let your body fall back on the bed and sungchan kisses your neck all the way down. you can feel the electricity and sungchan can feel it too. you're already squirming, strong hands on his shoulder keeps sungchan in place. his dick presses against his pants, and he exerts all of his self control to hold himself back. you look so good underneath his body, and he breaks his no outside clothes on the bed rule to prop one of his knees beside your thighs. your hands continue to mess with his shirt, pushing it up to reveal his toned body. you arch off the bed, needing to feel his body against yours.

sungchan is suddenly upright, using quick hands to unbutton his polo. it’s over his head while you come from your daze. you start working on your own shirt, your fidgety hands fail you. sungchan is there to help you the rest of the way even though his hands shake the same.

when you are in your bra he kisses you back down onto the bed. his lips are on yours when you feel for the button on his jeans, clumsily undoing them as you try to keep up with his kisses.

“so pretty.” sungchan says breathlessly.

he started working at getting your pants off. having to lift your hips in the air is awkward, but it helps you push yourself further onto the bed. only your feet are over the edge when you’re left in your under garments. sungchan takes off his pants beside the bed. he adjusts the light setting on his lamp, changing it to a dim setting that still allows him to be visible.

”is having the light on okay?” sungchan looks to you quickly. “i want to see you.”

you shift slightly on the bed as you nod. sungchan’s eyes wander all over your body, staying on the parts of you he couldn’t see in the darkness of shotaro’s room.

he comes back to your slowly on the bed, his knees going to either side of you. he looms over you, bringing your face in for another kiss. this time it’s sungchan sucking on your lips, trailing down until he’s kissing your collarbones.

“can i touch you?” he asks.

his voice is raspy and low. you can feel the thrill shoot up your spine and the heat in the pit of your stomach intensifies.

“please.” you say.

sungchan wastes no time gripping your chest. he moves down your body slightly to place kisses on the exposed skin and to look at your expressions. he presses the pads of his fingers into your pillowy skin, fixated on the way it spills between his fingers. when his lips graze your sensitive areola you lift your leg that's between his. you can feel his hard dick press into your leg and sungchan sighs. when he purposely presses his dick against your thigh you can feel all of him, heavy and hard underneath his briefs. you sigh contently, and quietly moan when his kisses get wetter. sungchan doesn’t try to take off your bra, instead he pushes it down until your chest is completely exposed. 

when he looks up to you again you nod, and your hand goes to his hair. you pet his head and arch your back into sungchan’s mouth and he doesn't hesitate to take you into his mouth. you can’t maintain eye contact when he looks up at you with glossy eyes, almost like he's waiting for approval. you lean your head back into the mattress, hoping that the way you pet his head tells him how good you feel.

sungchan starts moving your body until your head is resting on his pillows. when he’s not sucking on one breast he rolls your nipples between his fingers. you whimper when he pinches a little harder, and you can feel his smile against your wet skin.

sungchan drags his tongue across your chest until he latches on your other nipple. the cold air in sungchan’s room leaves the sensitive bud hardening, and the stimulation leaves you a squirming mess. you are only temporarily sated when sungchan’s fingers push underneath the waistband of your panties.

“so wet.” sungchan says quietly.

you only whine in response, and your legs close around sungchan’s hand. he smiles when he sees your swollen lip caught between your teeth and your hand fisting the sheets on his bed. your legs give sungchan’s hand no resistance when he separates them at the knee. he swipes his finger down your folds while he looks up at you.

“can you?” you ask.

sungchan nods before sliding a finger in. your body trembles. when he puts in two fingers you grab him and pull him close, pressing his face the soft skin of your stomach. 

“i can barely fit two fingers” sungchan says.

he’s amazed when you start lifting your hips slightly. sungchan looks up to you and purposely locks his hand in place to see what you will do. when your stomach starts tightening so you can fuck yourself on his fingers, sungchan's eyes go wide. when you hiss each time his fingers go all the way inside of you, his dick twitches in his briefs. when you have to shake your head after sungchan tries to scissor his fingers, he has to focus on something else in his room.

“you’re perfect.” sungchan says out of breath.

he keeps his fingers in place, looking down at you as you slowly bring your hips up. your knees come together, and your grip on his sheets turns your knuckles white. when you start shaking sungchan has to pull his fingers out. he kisses away your whines when you start reaching for the waistband of his briefs.

sungchan looks down at your hand on his waistband and considers something for a moment.

“i could barely fit two fingers.” sungchan says.

“we can try,” you begin to pout and reach for your own waistband. “please?” you ask.

sungchan folds immediately, getting off his bed to look in his bedside drawer. you take the time to strip yourself, unclasping your bra and taking off your panties. sungchan looks around his drawer faster before finding what he’s looking for.

“i have these this time.” sungchan smiles.

you look and see the line of foil packets in sungchan’s hand. there’s atleast five, none of them have been separated yet. your eyes go wide and sungchan’s eyes go wide too. his cheeks become rosy as he holds out his hands defensively.

“i don’t plan on using all of them or anything. just extra just in case.” he says. 

sungchan’s words come out rushed and you can’t help but smile. you slowly come to the edge of the bed yourself, letting your legs fall over the edge as sungchan slots himself between them. you snap at his waistband and look up to him. he ineptly detaches a single condom from the foil line, tearing it open quickly. you get back onto the bed as sungchan pushes down his underwear. you only let yourself look for a second to watch him slide the condom on his length. you look away and settle yourself in between the pillows, trying to find a comfortable position as sungchan clambers onto his bed.

you lay down as sungchan hovers above you, propped on an elbow as he looks down between the two of you. the anticipation is almost blinding as he looks to you for reassurance. 

your eyes are closed underneath sungchan, and he kisses your lids to get you to look at him. you look to him for comfort, and his hand touching your face soothes you.

“tell me if it’s too much.” sungchan says. 

you nod and crane your neck to kiss his lips. he kisses you back, and continues to kiss you as he lets his tip prod at your entrance. sungchan keeps his kisses constant, pressing lips to your open mouth. sungchan lips move all along your face as he goes further and further. when your walls clamp around him he can’t go any further without resistance. your sounds had graduated from whispers to moans when sungchan has to stop.

“you’re so tight.” he hisses.

“it’s alot.” you whimper.

sungchan stills inside of you and you bring your legs up to bend at the knee. spreading helps open your hips more, but an almost pained expression flashes against sungchan's face.

“should i pull out?” sungchan voice shakes.

“no,” you shake your head a little too quickly. “just go slow.” you say.

sungchan nods and kisses your forehead. he goes at an even slower pace. so slow that you can feel him everywhere—by the time sungchan’s hips kiss yours you’re consuming all of him. the way his hair shakes in the space between the two of you, his hand gripping your hip and his lips on your cheek. he pulls away only to go to the crook of your neck.

“you’re soooo tight.” sungchan rasps into your ear.

the way sungchan emphasizes almost makes you apologize. when you spread further to try and give him space he winces and holds your hips tighter.

"fuck. oh my god."

sungchan’s voice is almost whining in the skin of your neck. you let your hands go to his back, trying to find a comfortable position. you press on his back, and sungchan looks up from your neck to kiss your jaw.

“can i move?” sungchan asks tensely. 

you tell him yes, and when he pulls out to slide in just as slow you move your hips up to meet him the rest of the way. sungchan sighs and you do too. you don’t know how you didn’t ask him to fuck you then and there in shotaro’s room all that time ago.

“it's like a perfect fit.” sungchan looks at you when he slides in a little faster.

“please don’t stop.” you whine.

“i don’t wanna,” you accidentally squeeze around sungchan’s length. “oh my god.” he says.

when sungchan kisses your lips again, you flex your abs to purposely clamp your walls around sungchan’s dick. you fail a few times, but when sungchan’s kisses falter you know you’re doing it right. you look to sungchan’s eyes and he looks down at you. his eyes are wide and blown out. he turns his head slightly when you keep squeezing around him, and you lift your hips to increase his pace. 

“too much.” sungchan whines.

sungchan usually wasn't the one too back down from a challenge. that's why he was the leader of his team and why he was so good at his sport. when faced with a challenge he was able to find a way around it. he thought that breathing and focusing on anything else would keep him there with you. as he continud to slide in and out, he focused on his breathing, the way your face was contorting in pleasure trying to take all of him. the excitement that hung heavy off of him was bearable until the look in your eyes changed and sungchan felt your walls clamp his dick. almost too fast his hips stuttered and yours picked up their pace. his grip on your waist was useless as it loosened and he was pulled in close by you. the thrill he kept at bay shot up his spine and rang in his head.

sungchan moaned into your mouth when he came undone. it was desperate and quick, arguably even ruined as he started rutting into helplessly. his moans turned into whines while he released into the condom. feeling his climax brought you closer to your own peak, but you could feel yourself coming down when his sweaty body slumped on top of yours.

only a moment passes before his head shoots up from your chest, looking you in the eye. they’re no longer glazed with concern, only wide and blown out as he maintains eye contact.

sungchan said nothing when he stood up on his knees. your body can’t be cooled by the sweat when you feel his hands press to the back of your thighs. you moan at his strength, how he’s bending you in a new way. this sungchan is nothing like the whimpering mess that was panting against the skin of your neck before. this wasn't the sungchan that came on your cheer skirt almost untouched. this is the sungchan that has your knees pressed to your chest and watches his dick glide in and out of your pussy.

“feels good?” he asked, looking up to you.

“faster.” you whined.

”you got it” sungchan smiled.

sungchan went harder and faster, fucking you into his mattress. later down the line, once you got used to him, sungchan will coo at you teasingly as your responses came out jumbled messes. he would have to prove to you how possessive he really was, how the thought of anyone else seeing you like this made his skin crawl. without saying anything, sungchan could see you understood. he could tell by the way you looked at the shaking medals that hung above his bed while his headboard make contact with the wall. he could see your frantic hand trying to find something to steady yourself, first grabbing at the sheets before digging your nails into his arm. sungchan moaned, only using the pain as motivation to fuck you faster. 

you could feel his strength behind each thrust and the hold on your thighs. the sound of skin slapping against skin drowned out your moans. sungchan heard you perfectly when you moaned about being close. looked away from your face to look where your hips met. he used only one hand to keep your thighs in place and used the other to whirl his finger on your clit. your other hand rested on top sungchan’s hand that kept your thighs in place. sungchan looked to your face again and clasped his hand over yours. both of you worked together to keep your thighs in place while sungchan kept his pace.

“cum for me baby.” sungchan said.

the way sungchan spoke to you had you coming undone. he was tender but set on his mission. he gave you all you needed to seize around his dick and cry out. by habit you let your moans be muffled by your arm. sungchan’s hand was quick in letting go of your thighs, forcing you to hold them in place while his hand moved your face to his. he swallowed your moans and cries while continuing to fuck you, only stopping when they fizzed off into weak whimpers. 

the two of your stayed in that position, sungchan’s body pushed against your thighs, and you suddenly started noticing the position wasn’t comfortable. you let your suddenly tired legs down, and they slid on the covers until laid flat. sungchan’s exertion seemed to catch up to him too. he was huffing to catch his breath mirroring your hiss when he slid out to continue laying on top of you. when sungchan’s body became too heavy on top of you, you gently pressed at his shoulder. sungchan’s body stiffened and he looked up to you.

“i’m sorry.” he apologized quickly while rolling off your body.

you two laid on his bed in silence while trying to catch your breath. you could feel sungchan occasionally turning towards you. 

“was that too much?” sungchan asked.

when you turned towards him sungchan looked worried. if you had any strength left in your body you would’ve laid on top of him and press lazy kisses to his face to thank him. but you had to regain your energy to ask for another round.

“that was perfect.” you say honestly.

sungchan’s worried expression is replaced with a smile. he already is back to normal, pinching your cheek before leaning over and kissing your forehead. 

“you should go to the bathroom,” sungchan pulls away from your forehead. “always pee after sex.”

he gets off his bed to tie the condom off, stretching his back until it pops and comes to your side. you are barely able to prop yourself up on your elbows as sungchan goes into his dresser. he pulls out boxers for you and a large shirt, setting it beside you. 

you nod and sigh in pain as you bring your legs over the edge of the bed. you playfully hit sungchan’s leg when you see him puff out his chest in pride.

“are you gonna tell your friends how i get down?” sungchan teases.

“shut up before i make you carry me.” you say.