#the lyrics are depressing as hell but ignore that

[khaoray]

the ever wonderful mona, @thitiponqs, tagged me to do this! thank you!!

rules: put your music library on shuffle, then list the first 5 songs that come up in a poll to let people vote for the one they like the most! 🎶

tonight! we dance 🕺🏻

what a selection asdfghj, anyway

tagging... @markpakin, @yakdee, @celestial-sapphicss, @dengswei & anyone else who wants to! no pressure if you've already done this i am as usual unaware of 99% of anything happening at all times

[propepsi]

Okay. Listen up Weezer community. Why do you guys hate literally every Weezer album there is? This fanbase is so divided it's actually insane. If you say you like an album, somebody's gonna tell you how much they hate it. If you say you hate an album, somebody's gonna come after you and call it a masterpiece. I think the only exception to that is the blue album because how do you hate blue. That being said, here are my opinions:

I like Raditude. It's fun and silly and a real connection to youth. Plus, Put Me Back Together is a hidden gem and y'all are SLEEPING on it. (It's my favorite song so if you haven't heard it, please give it a listen.) Also, I hope you realize that Can't Stop Partying is SATIRE and that Rivers didn't even write those lyrics; they were given to him.

Pinkerton is fucking weird, but it's also a good album. Across The Sea is diabolical, but everything else on that album is pretty great, weird as it is. (Hell, even Across The Sea has a good sound if you ignore the premise and read a little deeper into it.) Pinkerton was an essential album. It reflects Rivers' depression at the time after the release of Blue, which was misinterpreted by the audience at the time. The whole album is about the deeper, darker, more honest parts of himself, and I appreciate that about this album.

Red is a fantastic album, and y'all need to give some love to The Spider. That song is wonderful. Red actually might be my favorite Weezer album of all time. Cold Dark World is kinda trashy, but it has a good sound. Plus: Scott Shriner has a kickass voice and I will be hearing nothing else. Also, Automatic isn't even close to being bad. Y'all are just weird.

Green is also a fantastic album. It is simple and somewhat pop-y, but goddammit it's a good album. The lyrics may be a little in-genuine, but they're still Rivers, and they're not devoid of feeling like every says. Emphasis on O' Girlfriend.

Blue is objectively fantastic, but that's not really controversial. I don't think I can name a time I've come across an avid hater of blue. It's their first album, so even if you don't like it, you just have to respect it. Also: Buddy Holly is a good song. Deal with it. Also, No One Else is a satire piece.

Make Believe is NOT as bad as y'all say it is. I've edited this post, and before I said that Beverly Hills was the only Weezer song I didn't like, but that the rest of the songs were really good. I've changed my mind. I don't know if it's bias or not, but after more listens, Beverly Hills has actually grown on me. I think this album is essential especially because of Pardon Me, a song in which Rivers gives his heartfelt apology for hurting those around him in order to be a 'better rockstar.' Also, Haunt You Every Day is a fantastic track.

Those are my strongest Weezer opinions laid out. I really wanted to voice some of my positive beliefs to spread around the joy of Weezer's music instead of trying to hate. But, all in all, we all have the right to our own opinion. Although this fanbase might not agree on everything, at the end of the day we all know what their best album is, and that is Christmas with Weezer.

[miaountainmama]

silent

characters: tecchou, gn!reader contains: suicide mention but things turn out alright for both of you

wc: 1261

a/n: inspired by radiohead's exit music (for a film) and that one time during lockdown when i got really depressed and realized i understood why people kill themselves. was going through it

If there was one thing you did and did well, it was sing.

Tecchou was used to it by now— coming home at night to hear you blasting your favorites and singing along, whether it was to oldies like Frank Sinatra or some random ass TikTok sound you couldn’t get out of your head.

But the house had been worryingly silent as of recently, and Tecchou was starting to take notice.

He could sense the change in you, ever since you told him the meds weren’t quite working yet. You were singing less and less, and when you did sing along to something, it was something worryingly depressing, something with lyrics that scared the living shit out of him. He tried to ignore it, he really did. He told himself you were just venting your frustrations, that it was just words someone else had written down. Still, he could hear the melody replaying over and over again in his head, your haunting voice sending chills down his spine. If this is what your voice held in store for him, he didn’t want to hear it.

He didn’t want to hear you talk about killing yourself ever again, even in song.

There was a chill in the air tonight, and, while Tecchou normally welcomed the colder air, this time it bit to the bone. It was an unnatural kind of cold, the same kind of cold that reached into the night and froze anything, the same kind that ushered the living indiscriminately down the Styx. His footsteps quickened against the freezing concrete sidewalk— he would be glad to escape the bleak conditions. He turned the corner and welcomed the sight of the familiar house up the way, already eager to see you again.

He got about halfway up the driveway before he realized the lights weren’t on.

This wasn’t entirely uncommon. A lot of times you fell asleep early, or you just felt like chilling in the dark when you were alone. Today? It felt like a premonition. As excited as he was to get home, he now suddenly felt very, very hesitant to open the door.

He lingered for a little while longer on the doorstep, heart beating out of his chest for reasons he couldn’t quite discern. Perhaps he was overreacting. It was just the lights… this was normal, right?

Right.

He inserted the key into the lock and twisted, almost wincing as the creak of the door cut into the quiet air.

“…My love?” he called into the stillness, faltering as he stepped through the threshold and heard no response. You were always home at this hour, so why?

Tecchou moved further into the house, flipping the lights on and setting his hat down on the kitchen counter. He called out again, the festering dread in his stomach churning. No response. Maybe you were in the bedroom…?

As he approached the room, the first signs of life hit his ears— the sound of music! The dread began to fade, though he frowned in distaste as he realized what song was playing. It was the end of that accursed song you were always listening to about suicide. He sighed minutely, reaching out to enter the room so he could kiss you better and tell you to change the music.

The door swung inward, catching on an empty bottle of pills that spun and rolled away upon impact. The song, finally ended, began to replay, having been set on loop.

It took a second for Tecchou to realize exactly what that could mean. The moment it hit him, he immediately tore his widened eyes from the pill bottle, panic clawing through his veins, and strode in two strong steps towards the side of the bed, where your figure lay covered in blankets, tearing them aside and revealing where you lay curled in a ball, eyes closed.

Your eyes sprung open as the warmth was torn from you, cursing under your breath as you turned away from the wall to face Tecchou.

“What the hell—“ you began, ready to hiss at your boyfriend for interrupting your brooding, before you took in the expression on his face. 

For the first time ever since you had met him, Tecchou looked terrified.

Your lips parted slightly in surprise, and you blinked at him stupidly for a moment, wondering what on earth had him so worked up. Then, he was on you, hands cupping your face, turning your wrists up towards him, checking every inch of you despite your sputtered protests, and you connected the dots. The empty pill bottle you had knocked over earlier and were too lazy to pick up. The depressing music. Your lack of response and limp body.

God, your boyfriend had thought you tried to kill yourself.

“Tecchou,” you managed, suddenly feeling extraordinarily guilty, and the feeling only increased as he looked up at you with worried amber eyes. “I’m fine. I just ran out of meds today. I need to pick new ones up tomorrow.”

He stared at you for a moment, you staring back, before he let out a shaky breath, scooping you up into his arms. You didn’t fight it, clinging tightly to him back, and you muttered out apologies, trying to soothe his anxieties.

“I… thought you had…” Tecchou spoke, and you shook your head from where it was buried in the crook of his neck. You vaguely took in the fact that his hands were slightly shaking around you.

“‘m sorry, Tecchou… I was just… really going through it today,” you managed meekly, one hand going up to thread through his hair. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

He didn’t answer for a long while, just holding you, and you listened to his breath finally stabilize. You toyed with the ends of his locks as you waited for his hands to stop shaking, pressing a kiss to his jaw to reassure him further. Somewhere down the line the depressing song you had been listening to looped for the umpteenth time and you hastily turned it off, electing to sit with him in silence and not worry him further.

Eventually, he pulled back from you, an unusually serious glimmer in his eyes as he looked into yours. 

“Promise me,” he said suddenly, and you shifted a little as the words sunk in, looking away. Promises were hard to keep in times like these.

“Promise me you’ll keep trying,” he modified his words, and you slowly nodded through your hesitation. This… this was something you could do.

“Okay,” you breathed, hands moving back to sit in your lap, where you fidgeted with them quietly. “I promise.” You reached up then, holding your hand out to him, and extended your pinky towards him. He looked down at it quizzically before glancing back up at you, and the most minute of smiles graced your features.

“I pinky swear,” you said solemnly, and he stared for a second before smiling slightly back, interlocking his finger with yours.

“I’ll hold you to that,” he warned, and you pulled him close again, resting in his arms with a newfound sense of satisfaction. He pressed a kiss to the top of your head in response, and you smiled a real, genuine smile, the first in what felt like days.

“Of course,” you replied, and nestled closer to him. He wrapped an arm around your waist, and you laid your head on his chest, feeling his heartbeat by your ear. You would do it. You would overcome this.

If not for you, then for him.

[cryingmeganekko]

Chihayafuru Hitomebore/ Love at First Sight symbolism

I know this is already a reddit post but I wanted to delve into it a little more so you might be familiar with what I'm going to say for Chihaya, but the rest have more symbolism than what the reddit post said. I'm going to credit it just in case I get anything wrong. This is a whole Taichi fest, the song lyrics, the symbolism, everything mwuah chef's kiss plus it made me a Taichihaya stan. Btw this is one of if not my favorite series

https://www.reddit.com/r/chihayafuru/comments/fnpn6q/chihayafuru_3_companion_guide_s3e23/

Wataya's Wisteria symbolize love, support ( his team ), Our expanding consciousness ( y'know after his grandpa died, his depression, and learning from Chihaya) , Tenderness, Bliss, Wisdom, Immortality, Nobility ( his grandpa being the past meijin ), and Sensitivity

Chihaya's Cosmos symbolize Purity, Harmony, Humility, Autumn cherry blossom, Chastity, Delicate aspects of love, Mother's love, Femininity, Deep romance, Maiden Japanese heart, Love, and Cleanliness

Taichi's higanbana/red spider lilies and butterfly are so great together let me tell you

Ok so basically the higanbana symbolizes Never to meet again with lovers ( him and Chihaya?, have not read the manga yet because I'm poor and I also need, high emphasis on *need* to learn Japanese ), Abandonment ( You know the deal with him Chihaya and Arata ), Hell ( I mean his whole not being able to see the cards thing and his pining for Chihaya ), Afterlife, Equinox which in itself symbolizes let go of your past, and Reincarnation ( moving on maybe, manga readers tell me I'm wrong, Taichihaya stans tell me so too, please yell at me in the comment section), and immortality

Then the swallowtail butterfly, Ageha 揚羽 omg you can't tell me I'm wrong about these butterflies. The f-ing autumn butterfly and Chihaya with the other autumn flower/tree I can't take it anymore. They symbolize Metamorphosis, Love ( Taichihaya ), Womanhood, Grace, Free nature, Departed spirits, Hope, Endurance ( his life ), Change ( maybe moving on again, but feel free to attack me ), Life, and It's Raised Wings have too much symbolism for being free ( but of what )

Ok then we have Yuki Suetsugu herself subtly saying that she loves Taichi but wants him to be free of something even if it's Chihaya. With both poems 43 and 46 which is Taichi's

46 means

Crossing the Bay of Yura

the boatman loses the rudder.

The boat is adrift,

not knowing where it goes.

Is the course of love like this?

Suou says this for card 43 S3E19 08:22 - Suou: "Senpai, that poem... is a poem about knowledge that can fill you with either light or darkness."

https://karice.wordpress.com/2016/02/29/p493/

Q: In the manga, in conjunction with the feelings and situations that the characters face, you turn the spotlight on poems that deal with a whole range of emotions, including (romantic) love. May I ask, which of the 100 poems is your favorite?

My favorite in terms of meaning is “When compared to / the feelings in my heart / after we'd met and loved, / I realize that in the past / I had no cares at all” (Poem 43, translation by Moscow). Having been ignorant, once you know of it, you feel like all the cells in your body have been reborn. I think that everyone will undergo that experience several times in their lives, but there are few poems that express this feeling in words.

Then we have the poems relevance in the endings

I know the significance of the the three main ones

Poem 17 Chihaya's is on top of both 11 Wataya's and 46 ( the topic of the day ) Taichi's

I'll quote the reddit person on the significance of them all being like that

"And finally, we can come back to the three poems that are in the front and center at the start of the ED. Here, we can see #17 is on top of #11 and #46. Topically, both #11 and #46 (our Poem of the Day) cards are about being exiled on boats:

Card #11 - My only thought as I am put out to sea is to ask the fishermen to tell the people in the capital that I make for the islands.

Card #46 - Like a boatsman adrift at the mouth of the Yura, I do not know where this love will take me.

It goes without saying that the card on top, #17, is Chihaya, who is the love interest of both #11 for Arata and #46 for Taichi. #11 is a "Wata" card, which shares Arata Wataya's name. The poem was written by Sangi Ono no Takamura, who was exiled to Oki Island after refusing to participate in an embassy assignment to China. Although the poem speaks of being exiled and away from "her", Takamura was ultimately allowed to return home after being pardoned a year later. On the other hand, in our Poem of the Day above, we can see that #46 is Taichi's card, who was stranded adrift because his "oar-string snapped" -- a far more distressing and harsh reality than Arata's."

Please tell me the significance of all them as I have the ogura hyakunin isshu penguin classics translated.

There are also two maps in the back of the ogura hyakunin isshu to know where all the poems came from

Guys I'm f-ing singing this for a Talent show too

[quintenrosenburgwrites]

mirren sketches >:)

lyrics are from Mixed Messages and Red Flags btw

OH ALSO i wrote some dialogue stuff, see under the read more! warning for some humor that's way more nsfw than i'd usually post (i mean. come on. it's dialtown. they're awkward as hell. they're obviously gonna say something questionable /lh) also some more serious stuff (self hate issues, depression, anxiety)

Nice/Fun stuff:

- They say pretty much everything that comes to mind, and once they get a train of thought it doesn't take long for it to derail and crash through a small community, leaving a trail of destruction behind it. TLDR they're really rambly.

"Birthdays are kinda weird. Like obviously there's the whole counting down to your death thing, but also, like. You're basically celebrating the anniversary of you getting evicted from your mom's, uh. You know. Okay that sounded REALLY, extremely, UNCOMFORTABLY Freudian. Can we PLEASE pretend I never said that? Thanks. Oh, right, the murder case."

- They have a tendency to just accept things and move on without commenting further.

"Oh. You lay eggs. Anyways, can you help me break into the ticket booth? I need to check the entry records."

- They're a fucking dork /pos (They're really sweet, but in a convoluted way)

"I, uh, please don't think this is weird, but I made characters for both of us! This one's named May, and they're kinda a failure. They failed their parents, they failed their old best friend, they failed their job. They used to think they had no redeeming qualities. Then, one day, they meet the other character, Ginger. Ginger seems terrifying initially, and even if it isn't obvious at first, they're not actually human. Ginger and May go on a journey in which May tries to learn magic in order to protect people and redeem themself for their past actions, even though they despise the idea of learning magic, but, eventually... Ginger helps them see their own value, helps May see that they're a person too. They are allowed to be selfish sometimes, they're just as worthy of happiness as anyone else. And, uh, maybe... Maybe that saved their life a bit. And maybe, May is allowed to do things for themself sometimes. Ginger means a whole lot to May, even if they have trouble expressing it, and... uh, I guess that's everything. Um. What do you think?"

Serious, bad stuff:

- They see very little value in themself, and tend to expect others to insult or make fun of them. To combat this, they typically are quick to insult themself, in an attempt to get there before anybody else can. It hurts less if they're the one saying it.

"And before you say it! I know it's super annoying when people are constantly insulting themselves, cause like it comes off as compliment seeking, right? I promise that's not what I'm trying to do, I'm just kinda trying to warn you I guess? But, uh, that's still no excuse, and I can totally just shut up if you want! Or, wait, I shouldn't have assumed it's annoying you, I could just be restating what you're thinking? I mean, the things I'm saying about myself aren't exactly incorrect- Just, let me know if I'm being annoying. I'd rather shut up than annoy you, haha. ha. Wow, that sounded fake."

- They tend to blame everything on themself, and act very self destructively.

"Oh god, this is all my fucking fault, I'm so sorry. It's okay if you hate me- or, no, you SHOULD hate me! Fuck, I'm- Why did you even talk to me in the first place?! Do you realize- If you just- You would've been better off if you just walked past me and ignored me! I need to- This is for your wellbeing, being around me is only gonna make things worse for you. I'll be fine, just- Don't follow me. I mean, I don't know why you would in the first place."

- They put everyone else before themself.

"I need to make it up to them, even if I ruin my life in the process. It's not like my life was looking particularly bright in the first place, which is entirely my own fault, so, y'know. Yeah."

[aslongasimhereyoureinvincible]

what are your neurodivergent headcanons for hq characters?

asdfjhgfds sorry this has been in my askbox for a few days ive been busy w/ Life Stuff TM but anyways ND haikyuu headcanons lets gooo

hinata:

ik bc hes Sunshiney and Loud lots of ppl read hinata as adhd, which i can deffo see, but personally i read him as autistic

hes extroverted and good at adopting introverts (kageyama, kenma, yachi, tsukki) but when u stop to think abt it hes also actually kinda bad at social ques and 'normal' behaviour?? i think ppl dont notice bc hes also rlly nice but hinata is actually pretty blunt lmao

his special interest is literally volleyball cmon now

its canon that he dislikes being in classes too long or doing homework bc he finds sitting still for too long difficult, both me and my autistic older brother used to get up and pace around our classrooms when we were younger

even though hes rlly athletic and has insane reflexes obviously, hes also pretty clusmy and especially bad at judging distances which to me looks like dyspraxia which is really commonly comorbid w/ autism

ive also read a few fics where he has tourettes syndrome w/ body tic and i can deffo see why ppl would hc that

idk hes just reads as autistic so well in my mind like idk why its not a more common take

kageyama:

this one is less of a headcanon and moreso just interpreting the text correctly; hes definitely autistic

like its my belief that furudate either knowingly wrote kageyama as autistic or like based his personality off of an irl autistic person they knew or SOMETHING bc its actually insane how well he reads as autistic

the lack of social skills? the anger issues? the deep special interest in volleyball? the just wanting to express your feelings/opinions but coming off as rude but not knowing how to fix that? middle school being a living hell? having that one family member who Got you? the high level of skill in one particular area? hes literally the texboox definition of autism

even the little things like how he files his nails and jokes go over his head and he accidentally insults ppl bc hes calling it how he sees it and how he basically had no friends growing up bc he was too focused on volleyball and how he struggles to smile on command like!!! thats autism babe!!!!!!

oh also hes dyslexic bc im dyslexic and i say so

ushijima:

same as kageyama i bet he was either knowing written as autistic or based off of an irl person who is

blunt as all hell, monotone voice and facial expressions, volleyball as a special interest, bad at social interaction, accidentally rude, the list goes on and on

like his whole thing about how his left handedness makes him different but is also a gift that benefits him in some ways? thats a metaphor for neurodivergency dont @ me

oikawa:

i hc him as having narcisstic personality disorder, not in the ableist reddit-user 'all ppl w/ npd are evil manipulative abusers' way but in the ' i have npd and know what it actually looks like' way

hiding massive insecurities by acting like youre amazing?? that fuckin marina lyric thats like 'i feel like im the worst so i always act like im the best'?? that was abt oikawa tooru and npd

feeling threatened the second someone as good or better than you shows up? fixating on one specific thing that you have to be the best at? those are npd as fuck traits

the way he can basically get along with anyone and adjust his play style to suit them but only has a few close friendships where he can let his true personality rlly shine through

hes literally so npd coded augh <3

bokuto:

i read him as adhd and having cyclothymia

i think he was unmedicated in high school and unknowingly had depressive and hypomanic episodes which affected his play

he also very much reads as having rejection sensitive dysphoria if u ask me

and the way he talks and bounces around and has All That Damn Energy gives me adhd vibes, esp pared w/ his poor volume control ad the way he ignores social cues lol

okay quickfire round bc im getting tired of typing

atsumu is autistic, so is osamu for that matter, theyre just at very different points on the spectrum and rub each other up the wrong way a lot of the time bc of it

kita is also autistic bc no neurodivergent person is that particular about doing things the 'right' way

hoshiumi is autistic and adhd

asahi and yamaguchi read like they struggled w/ anxiety and depression

sakusa has ocpd and ocd (contamination ocd specifically) and mysophobia

kyoutani has aspd, again not in a 'aspd = violent agressive psychopaths' way but in a 'i actually have a cluster b personality disorder' way, and adhd also

kenma is autistic and has social anxiety

yachi has social anxiety too bc cmon now

tsukki reads to me as having chronic depression, i think i could also make a case for him being autistic too ngl

tendou is some flavour of neurodivergent, probally audhd, probably some other stuff, idk but hes definitely not neurotypical

like hinata, lev reads as autistic to me even tho hes got that goodball energy thatd make lots of ppl read him as adhd bc like,, he just fuckin sucks at social interaction like he is accidentally rude all the damn time lmaoo

fukunaga and aone are both autistic w/ selective mutism and/or partial to moderate non-verbalness

obviously its none of my business and i think having headcanons abt irl ppl is Fucking Weird but i wouldnt be surprised if furudate themself was autistic bc truly so many characters in haikyuu can be read that way if u ask me, although maybe im just projecting lol

[pardonmydelays]

fave lyrics from "hurricane"? 🌀

this is the one i've been waiting for. one thing about me is that i will listen to hurricane on repeat. all day. it's one of the best songs from hamilton (in my top three next to my shot & yorktown). this song cures depression. this song is like oxygen. this is the only song ever. & if you disagree, you are simply just wrong. i am hurricane stan first, human second. if hurricane has no fans, it means i'm dead. ok, let's get to the point:

when i was seventeen a hurricane destroyed my town, i didn't drown, i couldn't seem to die - the i couldn't seem to die always breaks my heart... it's also super personal to me for reasons i don't really want to explain here.

i wrote my way out of hell, i wrote my way to revolution, i was louder than the crack in the bell, i wrote eliza love letters until she fell, i wrote about the constitution and defended it well, & in the face of ignorance and resistance i wrote financial systems into existence, & when my prayers to god were met with indifference, i picked up a pen, i wrote my own deliverance - no because if you don't love this entire moment in the song are you even a hamilton fan? are you even a human? this right here is the best quote from the entire musical & especially the last line, like... DEAR GOD IT'S INSANEEEEE. WHO WRITES LIKE THAT. LIN, STAPH.

i'll write my way out, overwhelm them with honesty, this is the eye of the hurricane, this is the only way i can protect my legacy - once again hammy talking about legacy is my favourite thing everrrr

honorable mention: the rest of the song

bonus 1: just felt the need to leave it here:

bonus 2: actually, just watch it. i absolutely love the studio version of hurricane, but this one is much more emotional & i love how he is literally screaming my favourite line (as he should tbh):

[ithinkineedamoment]

1. Neon Bible - Arcade Fire

1 of 1000 - Recordings

This project is almost 15 years in the making. Had I been wiser at the debilitating age of 12, I’m sure writing for the sake of writing would have come to me a hell of a lot more naturally than it does now.

Regardless of that, it looks like a 26 year old me is finally getting around to it.

At the tail end of 2010 - I was living in Ramstein, Germany where I found a copy of Tom Moon’s 1000 Recordings to Hear Before You Die. I (my dad) bought it for $15 and there I went becoming evermore insufferable thinking I’m the first person who ever discovered 10 by Pearl Jam. I quickly found two more versions of the “1000... before you die” list - movies and places. Armed with these three lists, I set out to conquer the “best” of the “best” and do obviously do it before I die.

Lofty goals.

But I’ll unpack that I’m sure in a later essay.

Since that time, I’ve plowed through 430 albums, 574 movies, and 142 places. But what of it? What does it matter? Is it enough to watch “Schindler’s List” in a double feature with “The Sound of Music” once and think I can fully process what I’ve experienced? Fuck no!

So in an effort to combat that insanity - I’m starting this project. I will write something on each and every entry of these lists. Will some be long? Absolutely. Will some be short? I hope so. But what is the point of consuming what is meant to be essentials of a lifetime and not give it a second thought? There is of course the argument that these lists are arbitrary and are actually heinously filtered through the lens of old, Cis, straight, white men and women. This idea will undoubtedly come up several if not a thousand times and I don’t think I can ignore it. What I’ve gained, however, from venturing down this yellow brick road of content is greater than the sum of its parts and that is what is interesting to me. How has inundating myself with this “canon” for most of my life shaped who I am and where has it led me?

So as an artist who is constantly stonewalled by the mere act of creation, I asked myself - where do I start? How does this project begin?

Randomly, obviously. I had Sergio scroll through the lists and pick whatever caught his eye.

Somehow, picking Neon Bible by Arcade Fire makes sense.

With this very first entry I begin with The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, the 2013 adventure comedy starring and directed by our pal Ben Stiller. For the uninitiated, this movie features Ben Stiller as Walter Mitty, an employee at Life magazine who is forced on a Carmen San Diego-esque adventure to find Sean Penn in the mountains taking pictures of snow leopards. And it ROCKS.

Everything from the settings to the humor to Adam Scott’s haircut screams the spirit of adventure. I remember sitting in the theater watching this movie having goose bumps down my arms as Mr. Stiller ran for that plane - reading the Life Magazine motto: “To see the world, things dangerous to come to, to see behind walls, to draw closer, to find each other, and to feel, that is the purpose of life.”

Fuck meeee, it’s good.

My depressed ass sat there smiling and crying - thinking of how much of the world was out there - all the places I’ve never been and the adventures I’ve never been on. It was enough to keep me going, even if it was only for the rest of the day.

The part that I really want to draw attention to, however, is the song that plays over the scene that I just mentioned. As the words of the motto appear hidden in the scenery, a sick fucking guitar lick kicks in. Suddenly, the absolutely bonkers Arcade Fire hit, “Wake Up” is blaring through the speakers and I am transcended. From their 2005 debut album Funeral, “Wake Up” has been included on all sorts of best songs of 2004, the decade, the century, of all time lists. With lyrics touching on the embarrassment of youth and the gift of growing up, it’s one of the most inspirational songs I’ve ever heard...

(until I listened to the soundtrack and realized that to SOME people, the song “Wake Up” was never in the movie and instead the absolutely DNA-altering Jose Gonzalez song, “Step Out” took its place. Dear Reader, please note it’s a detail I’m moving on from since these songs exist simultaneously in my head for the same reason and since I have Google I found out a licensing issue made us all watch a different version of the movie. Leave me alone).

Ever since that day - whenever I’ve embarked on a new journey, I’ve played these songs. When my plane took off from Germany back to the states, when I walked on my college campus for the first time, whenever I start a new job - they become the soundtrack to my life. “Children, Wake up” to “House on fire leave it all behind you”. It’s the music to my proverbial first steps into my new life.

So again, it’s fitting then, that the first recording, the very first essay of this project, is Neon Bible by Arcade Fire. Their sophomore album released in 2007, Neon Bible is an extrospective triumph of organs and religiosity exposing the world for what it truly is in this post-9/11 hellscape. Full of angst and persistent drums, it’s truly no wonder how this album crosses the boundaries of what is Indie and what is mainstream.

Relistening to the album this morning and thinking about this project, it almost makes too much sense to start here despite its randomness. Take for example the opening track, “Black Mirror” which in my sleep depravity I could have sworn was the intro to “Changes” by David Bowie. Here, Win Butler muses on the notion of the “black mirror”, an unrelenting echo of all the worst parts of ourselves and our world. Impossible to separate from the contemporary connotations of the words “black mirror”, we quickly realize this album is not interested in the joyous release of

Funeral. We’re confronted with screens, cameras, and content - the black mirror of a sleeping iphone or of a buffering video. What does it mean to see ourselves in that reflection? We’re beholden to it.

As we continue through the album, we’re bombarded with rising crescendos of emotions that dissipate uneasily like unlit waves at night - “Black Wave”. There is no comforting exaltation or resolution of discord. It’s isolating! Butler says so himself in “Intervention”: “We’ll go at it alone”. As the number of black mirrors around us increases, the time spent as an individual also increases. It’s interesting that so much of the imagery evoked in Neon Bible is that of the ocean - black, reflective, ever expansive. This brings to mind another song from a few years later: Los Campesinos!’s “The Sea is a Good Place to Think of the Future.” It should be obvious enough from the title as to why I think this is relevant. The rocking guitar of this jam sways back and forth like the crashing of waves as the lyrics wax poetic on what it means to be alone - “and all you can hear, is the sound of your own heart” - and how hopelessly small you can feel in front of an unchanging ocean before you - “A thousand years, no getting rid of me”.

This cynicism, this anger, I feel is what fuels this album. There is no joy in the face of the “Ocean of Noise” in front of us. There is no reconciliation at the church of the “Neon Bible.” There is nothing new I can say on our modern relationship with technology or media here that hasn’t been said already in a New York Times Op-ed. We are losing control of ourselves to an ocean of influences, media, thoughts, and content. We can scream, and we can shout, but the only escape - according to Arcade Fire - is the place where “No Cars Go”, the liminal space between turning off the lights and before we fall asleep. There, we are finally free from the world and all its power over us. This is the craven freedom that brings the album its only truly joyous song.

So I guess it’s now that I’ve realized the point of this essay - the point of this whole project. I’ve spent years of my life thumping the bible of a church that doesn’t care about me. These lists have become a religion - a system of other people’s beliefs in what should be exalted and glorified. I’ve consumed the content I was told to consume and thought what I was told to think. I don’t think that I’m alone in wanting to challenge “the canon” either. There will always be an unavoidable conflict between what is experienced and what should be experienced; I’m just no longer interested in justifying one over the other. I refuse to let the ocean carry me away. Just as Arcade Fire has ushered me into new phases of my life, Arcade Fire will now usher in a personal rebellion that hopefully will manifest itself across this project where I can Reflektor on what it means to be me.

I have no idea what this rebellion will look like - but my body will no longer be its cage.

[k1ranishf4]

Has anyone talked about how well Borderline by Tame Impala works for Aziraphale and Crowley, yet?

I can’t think of much about the first four lines “Gone a little far; gone a little far this time with something. How was I to know; how was I to know this high came rushing”. Only thing I can say is that I’m absolutely convinced that this is from Crowley’s point of view. Can’t explain it but I feel it.

I was thinking about directing it to the kiss but the lyrics feel too unfitting to embody that. I thought maybe it could be seen as “I’ve gone too far by kissing him” but then the ‘how was I to know’ wouldn’t exactly fit and the lyrics are “gone a little far with something’, which means that he knows he’s gone too far but he doesn’t know with what. Perhaps that’s where the kiss fits. But I still don’t know how to interpret the ‘how was I to know this high came rushing’.

Partially because I don’t exactly know what ‘this high’ is supposed to mean contextually, seeing as English is my third language, and Google didn’t clear it up either. The definitions that make the most sense to me are

“a feeling a person gets when they are so successful with the opposite sex, that they continuously go after the opposite sex, until they hurt a person along the line and crashes into depression afterwards”

and

“an emotional high is that feeling you get when you felt so emotional that you fell intoxicated to the point where your body feel like it’s drunk/high as well / Top emotions in this high are normally sadness,lonlyness, and anger” [Source for both]

The last one, in particular, is very self explanatory if you ask me. Crowley definitely felt sad, lonely and angry about the whole ordeal. Sad because he probably thinks that Aziraphale rejected him; lonely because his only best friend, who had been around for 6000 years with him on Earth, left and probably won’t be back for a while and he’s on his own side again. Angry because how could Aziraphale not see the obvious? Heaven is as bad as Hell, they need to get away from both sides, yet the angel insists on going back and changing things.

“We’re on the borderline, dangerously fine and unforgiving” I interpret Earth as ‘the borderline’ between Heaven and Hell where they’re both doing fine, yet there’s always been the threat of Heaven and Hell discovering that they were working together instead of against each other. However, I can’t exactly find a point for ‘unforgiving’ since it doesn’t apply to Aziraphale, at all. However, Crowley’s very unforgiving towards Heaven, I’d say, and probably also towards Hell. I don’t exactly know how to explain that, though.

“Here I go. Quite a show for a loner in L.A.; I wonder how I managed to end up in this place, where I couldn’t get away” I feel like this applies to Crowley, specifically his Vague Saunter Downwards. When we ignore Aziraphale’s existence for a moment, Crowley’s just a loner on Earth, putting on a show for Hell by taking credit for the horrible things the humans have came up with over the centuries, even though he never wanted to be in Hell and knows he’ll never be able to truly leave, either.

“We’re on the borderline, caught between the tides of pain and rapture” I had to look up what rapture meant, in the first place, and found two definitions:

1) a feeling of intense pleasure or joy / (raptures) expressions of intense pleasure or enthusiasm about something

2) (the Rapture) North American (according to some millenarian teaching) the transporting of believers to Heaven at the Second Coming of Christ: thousands of Christians gathered outside Rochester and other cities, awaiting the Rapture.

verb [with object] North American

(according to some millenarian teaching) transport (a believer) from earth to Heaven at the Second Coming of Christ: people will be raptured out of automobiles as they are driving along.

I’m going to go with the second definition, for obvious reasons. So, ‘pain’ means Hell and ‘rapture’ means Heaven, obviously. Connecting that to Aziraphale and Crowley, I’d say they’re just stuck in the middle of it all (which is the whole point, no need to theorize).

“Then I saw the time, watched it speedin’ by like a train; like a train” This could be linked to the 6000 years that they’ve spent together that they watched come and go or to their first conversation in Heaven, before it all began, when Aziraphale told Crowley that everything would be shut down again after 6000 years and the time basically flew and Armageddon was at the door. Or, to the “past few years” that Crowley was referring to when they hadn’t been bothered by either, Heaven or Hell.

“Will I be known and loved? Is there one that I trust? Starting to sober up, has it been long enough? Any closer, close enough. I’m a loser; loosen up. Setting free, must be tough. Will I be known and loved? Is there one that I trust? Starting to sober up, has it been long enough? Will I be so in love? Any closer, close enough” I think this whole passage is a representation of what could be the thoughts of both, Aziraphale and Crowley (separately, of course).

Although, the ‘will I be known and loved’ seems kind of unfitting for both of them. Crowley doesn’t exactly care about what Heaven and Hell could be thinking about him and Aziraphale doesn’t make a lot of effort to be liked by the other angels. However, all of this applies to each other, wondering if the other would ever love them back, to broadly summarize my rapid thoughts.

“Shout out to what it’s done. R.I.P. here comes the sun. Here comes the sun” I’m not exactly sure what this part means, in general, but maybe it’s a metaphor for a new day, which basically means returning to reality after waking up from a dream? That’s how I’d describe it, at least.

I’m not certain about how to link this to either, Aziraphale or Crowley. Perhaps it could mean a reality check for both of them when the Metatron came? I don’t know how to properly formulate this, but, like, they had been living in their delusions, hadn’t they? Perhaps not together or about each other, but while setting up Nina and Maggie? Or while trying to hide Gabriel from Heaven and Hell and thinking they could succeed but ultimately failing in the first second by performing that miracle? Or Aziraphale when he organized the ball and Crowley when he made it rain? (which both fall under the category of setting Nina and Maggie up, but hey)

“Gone a little far; gone a little far this time or something. Rudi said it’s fine, they used to do this all the time in college” Now that I’m thinking about it, ‘gone a little far’ could also imply that Crowley went too far by suggesting that Aziraphale runs away with him and ‘Rudi said it’s fine, they used to do this all the time in college’ fits Gabriel and Beelzebub, in my opinion. Specifically, Crowley’s “if Beelzebub and Gabriel can do it, go off together, then so can we” because why couldn’t they? It’d be so easy.

I don’t know if I’m able to take my point across, this seems incoherent to me and my mind is going 1000mph so yes.

[moonriseblueeyes]

I'm going to say it and some might hate me for it. Hell, most might just ignore me and it's fine. I just want to vent.

I decided to listen to the album, obviously like most folks are...even though it might take me a few days to get through with my schedule.

I love the banger that is "But Daddy I Love Him," but it also makes me feel so...disgusted. In a way with her, but in a way with myself? Which doesn't make sense since fans do nothing wrong by not supporting her decision to date a legitimately BAD GUY. Like, not a BAD GUY in a COOL way that isn't cool but a BAD GUY...the extremists with the letter and all that will be extremists. Hence, why they are called as such. They are not a majority of fans.

And after Snake Gate, calling them vipers?

The lyrics "I keep my side of the street clean" end her show every night. She is now dropping verses that yell out fuck YOU SNAKES for calling her out on dating a sexist and racist. Do your own sweeping...

I like her as an artist (I don't worship her), but this almost...hurts in a way. I just know that if my friend dissed me for calling out her racist, pig-headed boyfriend I'd be hurt as hell.

And don't get me started on her exposing Joe's depression and victimizing herself for it...

-Done.

[freakydeermemes]

ELECTRA HEART

lyrical starters/prompts from marina's album "electra heart" (2/5)

---HOMEWRECKER

"Every boyfriend is the one, until otherwise proven."

"The good are never easy, the easy never good."

"Deception, and perfection are wonderful trait."

"I don't belong to anyone."

"They call me homewrecker."

"We're all very lovely, 'til we get to know each other."

"I'm only happy when I'm on the run."

"I broke a million hearts just for fun."

"I guess you could say that my life's a mess."

"I'm the image of deception."

"When everything is life, and death; you may feel like there's nothing left."

"Deep down, all you want is love, the pure kind we all dream of."

"We cannot escape the past."

"You and I will never last."

"I'm a homewrecker."

---STARRING ROLE

"You're hard to hug, tough to talk to."

"I never fall asleep."

"I've turned into a statue, and it makes me feel depressed."

"You don't love me, big fucking deal."

"I'll never tell you how I feel."

"You know I'd rather walk alone, than play a supporting role."

"Sometimes I ignore you, so I feel in control."

"I adore you and I can't leave you alone."

"Come on, baby, let's just get drunk, forget we don't get on."

"You're like my dad, you'd get on well."

"I send my best, regards from hell."

"I never sang for love."

"I never had a heart to mend."

"Before the start began, I always saw the end."

"I wait for you to open up, to give yourself to me."

"Nothing's ever gonna give, I'll never set you free."

---THE STATE OF DREAMING

"Millions of girls float on that one quote."

"I lived my life inside a dream, only waking when I sleep."

"I would sell my sorry soul if I could have it all."

"My life is a play."

"I've been living in the state of dreaming."

"All I really want is to be wonderful."

"People in this town they, they can be so cruel."

"If only you knew, my dear, how I live my life in fear."

"If only you knew, my dear, how I know my time is near."

----

[fallingsunflower]

I do find it weird on the song as it was its about a woman leaving America for him taking her 2 kids//

I heard that it's referencing the divorce between harry's parents which apparently happened right after a trip to the US, Disneyland I think? That makes sense with the "I don't want to talk about who's doing it first"...like which one was gonna make the final decision to end things. Not to mention that song is depressing as shit and he called it a "death march". It makes sense that it would be referencing some childhood stuff. It's just a very unfortunate coincidence that that woman has two kids and is American lol.

I just think it's funny how shippers' whole argument relies on that one line. They completely ignore the rest of the song which discusses basically how lonely and fucked up Harry is (no offense but listen to the lyrics). And also who the hell is he singing to? "In this world it's just us" - he's always referencing a "you" and a "me" meaning he's singing to someone. Well, it's definitely not Olivia considering in that particular line the person is "her" - "leave America two kids follow her". So even if we entertain the idea that the line is about Olivia, it's not exactly a good thing considering how depressing the song is and he's also definitely not saying "in this world it's just us" to her.

Buttttt shippers will continue to ignore that and anything else, and cause unnecessary drama on PR blogs because they're insecure in their beliefs.

[spicy--meatball]

ranking 550+ music genres: PART 9

oh god i forgot alt rock was a thing.

(25) Alternative Rock

This is where I'm getting tomato'd probably... this shit mid. And guess what, this is another genre that happens to place a lot of importance in lyrics, at least as far as I can tell. This is what all the kids are bumpin these dayz. Mid mid mid. It is a little bit interesting that this is a genre that both plenty of straights and plenty of gays listen to regularly. I think the joining factor has to be self loathing. I have depression too but not like This.

This is going in "No, I don't think I will" because I don't care anymore and I don't care to hear more of this. Goodbye.

Alternative Rock song rec

(26) Ambient House

yippee yippee yippee yippeee

Aphex Twin Time

Bump ts while I'm sorting through our disaster of a soda cooler at work. This music is colorful and curious and blobby. Unlike the previous genre this sparks a sense of wonder. Everything is squiggly and at peace. This is a pretty recent genre I've taken a liking to. I can ignore the world and retreat into my mind. So much creative potential.

To be honest, I haven't really dove deep into this genre, I have mostly been on the outskirts. But I am more than willing to dive deeper. Almost every song is intriguing and interesting to me. I can picture a variety of different shapes for each song. This genre is also weirdly nostalgic, despite having never been familiar with ambient house as a kid. This is good music to study to but also good music to just listen to on its own I think. Each song is a new, entirely foreign and conceptual environment to explore.

I can virtually guarantee a vast majority of people would put alt rock above ambient house. Maybe one of you will enjoy my takes.

My friends and enemies, this is our second "🗣️️‍🔥️‍🔥".

Ambient House song recs

(27) Ambient

Now, this is a genre that I used to listen to a lot since I used to write and draw a hell of a lot more. [Post-writing-this-post-edit: it wasn't ambient but dark ambient, usually].

The "ambient" I'm finding on spotify is a little more... socially acceptable than the ambient I used to listen to? As in, there's a little more substance to these songs than the hours of droning and occasional other song elements that would interrupt that I was accustomed to. Like I was on that "2 Hours of Dark Ambient Music Compilation" on youtube type shit (now that I'm listening to ambient vs dark ambient, what I just described is closer to dark ambient than ambient).

Obviously, somber movie scene type shit. It's simple in composition usually but leaves you with a lot to think about. The world is large and you will never know everything but you can learn a lot in one lifetime. Go learn things. It's ok to make mistakes. That's something I need to drill into my head. Make sure your loved ones know how much you appreciate them. Time is fickle. Do something nice for someone this week. You are more than you can ever know. Be at peace brotha.

This is going in "In the right time and place, fuck yeah" because sometimes you need this type of shit, idk. But this is not something I would listen to regularly or throw on the aux, ykwim?

Ambient song recs

hmmm... the current tierlist perhaps. if youre pissy about my opinions you can garbage react me or something idk

[neurowinter]

16 Songs I Liked in No Particular Order (2024)

Dang, humans keep making music, and I keep liking songs. Once again, I've assembled a collection of songs with some thoughts here on tumblr dot com! Each title is a link to a YouTube video where applicable.

glass beach - Rare Animal

It's jazzy. It's poppy. It's emo. It's proggy. And it's so damn catchy!

Hikaru Utada - Electricity

Their work with Floating Points continues to produce fuckin' bangers. Just an incredibly fun, breezy, and groovy pop song. I'm a big fan of the woodwind arpeggio adding a jazzy flavor.

Caroline Polachek - Spring is Coming with a Strawberry in the Mouth

Every time Polachek covers a song, it's as if it was made for her. She just understands what makes Operating Theatre's original work so well. Polachek's voice an the synth melodies are the perfect counterplay, acting like first warm day after the depths of winter.

Cindy Lee - Realistik Heaven

Cindy Lee - 24/7 Heaven

Wow, Cindy Lee, why do you get TWO songs on my list? Their latest album, Diamond Jubilee, is just that good. The album is a miracle of modern internet social media collapse. Available only through their YouTube channel or their delightful Geocities site, Patrick Flegel creates a moody, warm, dreamy soundscape through the 2-hour runtime. I can only describe it as falling asleep in the back of a car with the radio warbling between fragmented songs of the past century. So why the hell are the instrumental closers to each half of the album here over the gorgeous lyricism and craft of the other tracks?

I don't have formal music training or much knowledge of production, so my thoughts are very emotion heavy. When hearing the these tracks, I teared up. A melancholy, a yearning of something i had been ignoring, welled up withing me. Things that I had gained and lost during my post-college years, being borne forward unceasingly on time's stream, and a small space in the span of two songs to catch one's breath. There is something haunting the album, and these two tracks crystalize it. Shimmery strings and brightly dissolving guitar dance before dissipating to somewhere (somewhen?) else.

A.G. Cook - Soulbreaker

Cook always prods the boundaries of pop production. Here his trademarks (glitched autotune, bubblegum hooks, etc.) form a melancholic banger. The music video's clear influences 60s and 70s science fiction art and the anxiety of the impending millennium in 90s further build on that haunted nostalgia.

Girl and Girl - Call a Doctor

An incredibly confident release! I love the story-telling here, of anxiety and depression eating you up, of self-destructive habits, and of wanting desperately to change. God, I hope this motherfucking record sells.

Charli xcx - Sympathy is a Knife [flashing/strobing lights warning]

Holy shit.

Jamie xx feat. Robyn - Life [flashing/strobing lights warning]

Holy shit!

Xiu Xiu - Common Loon [NSFW video warning (spitting, nudity, regurgitation)]

Xiu Xiu is back on their noise pop cycle. It's funkier and squelchier than their last few albums. The lead single is so, so catchy and feverish and head-bopping while maintaining the band's haunting edge.

Vampire Weekend - Mary Boone

I love it when Vampire Weekend goes full luxurious chamber pop. The entire instrumentation is lush and gorgeous.

Cloud Nothings - Golden Halo

They're still at it! It's a banger! It rocks AND rolls! What else do you need?

Kishi Bashi - Icarus IV

I did not expect Kishi Bashi to go full ELO. His new album, Kantos, runs the gamut of genres. However, this one is the most emblematic of his current stylings. Truly epic guitar riffs and synth hooks reminiscent of Twilight-era ELO combine with Kaoru's earnest open-hardheartedness. Fly, don't walk, to this song.

FKA Twigs - Eusexua [NSFW video warning]

She's back with a hell of a trance banger! Gorgeous syncopated percussion and FKA Twigs signature whispy singing are so enrapturing. It'll make you feel as good as the title suggest. Move over brat summer, Eusexua winter is here.

Magdalena Bay - Death & Romance

A point of fascination for me has always been how musicians blend multiple genres. Magdalena Bay's new record, Imaginal Disk, is such a glorious melange. This single is so joyous, fun, and ebullient. That hook won't leave my head.

Los Campesinos! - Feast of Tongues

I was late to the Los Campesinos! train. Thankfully their first release in - what? - 7 years is a fantastic place to start. Not as harsh as their previous efforts, but just as filled to the brim with shout-along lyrics and earnest melancholic optimism. Plus the lyric "We will feast on the tongues / of the last bootlickers," is incredible.

It's been a hard year. I hope that - whether you read this fully or just scrolled on by - that the rest of your year passes restfully for you.

[thisaintascenereviews]

MGK & Trippie Red - Genre: Sadboy

There’s a lot you can say about rapper, singer, and actor MGK, formerly known as Machine Gun Kelly, but I beg the question of “why?” Why do people like him? I tried to answer that when I reviewed his last album, and I didn’t come to any conclusion, but I left that record with mostly negative thoughts. Mainstream Sellout was easily the worst album I heard in 2022, but it was mostly for how bland it was. It was an album that didn’t even try to be anything more than a copy of a copy. Hell, MGK has switched out of pop-punk, because he released a hip-hop song, and then he just released this new joint album with rapper and singer Trippie Red entitled Genre: Sadboy that’s more or less 2016 emo-rap. I got curious to check this out, because I like to torture myself, as I said in my review of Aaron Lewis’ The Hill, and I knew this was going to be bad. I don’t like MGK, and while I’m not super familiar with Trippie Red, he’s an artist that I’ve never been too much of a fan of on features. I also don’t like that brand of emo-rap, despite how influential it’s been in the hip-hop and even alternative spaces. It’s helped to bring back pop-punk, because without these younger artists discovering that type of music and being influenced by it, we might not have had this revival.

With that said, however, Genre: Sadboy is really bad, and if it weren’t for The Hill, this would be the worst album I’ve heard this year so far. The thing is, though, this is bad because it’s so lazy and forgettable, not for being offensive and bigoted. That’s why The Hill is a bit worse, because it’s a hateful, bigoted, and ignorant album that has no empathy or compassion for others, and Lewis paints himself as a patriotic outlaw when he’s just a washed up butt-rock singer that’s now grifting as a country singer. Genre: Sadboy is pretty bad, too, but its biggest crime is just being generic and bland as tofu. If you’ve heard any emo-rap, especially from the past decade, you’ve heard this. I will say that MGK and Trippie Red do have some chemistry, and they trade bars pretty easily, but neither one of them sound good. They sound so bored of the material, and they have the same cadence on every song, it gets to be near unbearable. Whether they’re singing or rapping, it all just sounds the same.

The same can be said for the lyrical content, as there’s nothing of value here. There are a lot of mentions of depression, suicide, and things of that nature, but there’s no reason to care about what they’re saying. What they’re feeling is valid and important but there are also a lot of boring and generic cliches about money, women, drugs, and all that stuff. It’s just hard to care with all the generic cliches thrown in, and they don’t add anything of value to the actual meat of the album, which is about mental health and being sad for various reasons. I couldn’t tell you why these two are sad, let alone why this album needed to exist. It’s short, at least, but it just feels so inconsequential. At least it isn’t offensively bad, but I will say that their brand of emo-rap is still bad. Both of them can hardly sing, and they’re rapping isn’t very good, as well as bland and uninteresting lyricism that adds nothing to the album, but the instrumentation is as cookie-cutter as you can get. If you like this sound a lot, I guess you’ll like this, but that’s the only way I can imagine someone would enjoy this, because this is painfully bland in every way, shape, and form.

[againstme]

headphones emoji

alrighty ok i'm home now after a long day hewwo.

because i'm bored and i have nothing to do, i'm gonna shuffle maybe 3 times or so and give the lyrics i like, and maybe why as well. who knows.

and this is from my spotify wrapped of 2023, not all my liked songs cause i love changing rules :)

hmmm this is a hard one to dig a lyric out of. i like the song a lot, but i feel like i listen to it more for its general wordiness and rhythm of that, rather than the actual lyrics. either way, i think this is the one that sticks out to me:

I'm like your neighbor's hands on your father's throat: "Sweetie, you go back inside, see this is just for adults" So adult is what we'll be, domestic violence in denim Each tumble down the stairs appeals your puff paint addendum

i'll be honest, i don't understand the last line of that. but the visuals that come with the first two are very clear in my head. especially the line of something being "just for adults." i was told that as a kid, basically as a way for me to mind my business. also like "this is grown folk's conversation."

ah, classic. i love this fall out boy song. it's an amazing closer to the non-deluxe version of infinity on high, which was the CD that i owned and played the hell out of in middle school.

my (obvious) choice for the lyrics that i like are the chorus. there's no real explanation to give, lol. i love the octave note that patrick hits in it, very satisfying to hear.

The truth hurts worse Than anything I could bring myself to do to you.

oh fuck, man. excuse the one musical that has snuck its way into my spotify wrapped this year, but i have to stick with it.

this musical is beautiful, it's about a mom with bipolar disorder and the dysfunctional family that she has, her getting treatment for her bipolar as i think her meds stop working for her, and her dealing with having delusions/hallucinations of her son that died when he was very young.

this song in particular, is about the mom starting medication for bipolar, and thinking about how she misses having episodes, especially mania. she had gotten used to the rhythm of how the cycle is, and now that she doesn't have that "normalcy" to rely on, she doesn't know what to do.

this is especially relatable to me, and very much was around this time last year when my meds stopped working because i stopped taking them consistently. i have more depressive episodes than hypomanic, and every time that i was so low, i'd think about "how i was just doing so well a couple weeks ago", and missing the energy i had, even though i was ignoring how uncomfortable i felt during the time. so, ouch.

i think there's two parts to this song that stand out to me:

I miss the mountains I miss the dizzy heights All the manic magic days And the dark depressing nights

and

Mountains make you crazy Here it's safe and sound My mind is somewhere hazy My feet are on the ground Everything is balanced here And on an even keel Everything is perfect Nothing's real.

i could go on and on about how relatable of lyrics these are, but i don't want to sit here and write a whole journal entry; this post is already so long. but yeah, this song hits in such a tender spot. i love it, though. i love the whole album, and there's a bootleg of the show on youtube.

okay i've decided 3 is all i'm gonna do cause i'm gonna go to the next ask now byeeee