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tuff-and-fluff-archives · 4 years ago

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Okay I am hyperfixating HARD on Tom and Jerry and all my emotions from childhood have FLOODED forth, so now that I’ve finished watching (almost) all 161 original theatrical Tom and Jerry shorts from 1940 to 1967, I would like to force you all to endure my insane ramblings about this franchise. Although before I begin, I’d like to share where I’ve been watching all these! Here’s a Dailymotion playlist of all 161 shorts, put into the correct order by yours truly :3 OKAY NOW THE INSANITY BEGINS 💖💖💖

1) The Messy Formative Years: Shorts 001-017 (1940-1944)

So obviously, when a series is first created, especially an animated series, the first few episodes will always be a bit odd as the directors and writers find their footing and establish the rules of their own universe, and Tom and Jerry is no exception! In fact, these episodes can be a bit weird and even jarring to watch because the designs of the titular characters are so drastically different from how they look even ten years afterwards. In fact, in the very first episode, they don’t even have their official names yet and are instead named “Jasper and Jinx.” Also, there’s a LOT of talking in these beginning shorts before they decided to make Tom and Jerry almost entirely mute. Shorts 010 and 013 stand out the most, as they feature characters regularly speaking full sentences and it’s just... ohhh it’s SO weird to watch and it feels almost wrong 😅 Of course that’s not to say these shorts are bad, far from it actually! They’re still super fun and fascinating to watch and I think it’s quite interesting to see how such an iconic franchise got its start!

2) The Golden Years: Shorts 018-097 (1945-1955)

Oh. My. GOD. THESE ARE THE ABSOLUTE BEST. I guarantee that when you just think about Tom and Jerry, THESE are the shorts that come to mind. By now William Hanna & Joseph Barbara fully had their formula down and were just pumping out hit after hit afTER HIT HHHHH I LOVE THESE SO MUCH. I’m not kidding when I say that these shorts still make me laugh really hard and I absolutely adore nearly every aspect of them: the fluid and extremely expressive animation, the excellently timed music paired with each short, and the humor that’s constant and lands almost every time. My absolute favorite ones are around 040-080 but really all of these are just sooooo good. I know that this is stating the obvious but one thing that I especially love is just how VIOLENT these cartoons are, even more than the Looney Tunes shorts that were coming out at the same time. Characters are constantly picking up knives or axes or straight up GUNS and ngl I feel like half of the humor comes from that shock factor of the insane absurdity of that violence. Okay I’m starting to sound rly dumb, I know explaining the joke is never fun, but the directing and animation just NAILS every joke; I think the secret behind it is that there’s always a buildup and anticipation before the impact, and that buildup just makes the impact all the more intense! I was going to list my top 5 favorites but it’s impossible to choose so lemme just recommend a random five out of all of them: 026 - Solid Serenade, 048 - Saturday Evening Puss, 067 - Triplet Trouble, 069 - Fit to Be Tied, and 076 - That’s My Pup!

Also, I don’t know where else to mention this so I’ll just say it here: there’s a gradual change that Tom’s design goes through where he’s slowly drawn to be less and less fuzzy. At first his outline was drawn with a lot of points to emphasize his fur, but over time they abandoned doing that, my guess is because it was harder to animate. I’d say that they fully transitioned to Smooth Tom around short 030. That’s just a little detail I noticed and wanted to share! ^-^

3) The Slow Decay: Shorts 098-114 (1956-1958)

*heavy sigh* Well... a good thing can’t last forever. What’s kinda strange is that I can’t really nail down a specific reason caused a decline in quality after 1955; short 096 was the last to be produced by Fred Quimby, with Hanna & Barbara being given the producer credit as well as director credit for the remaining 18 shorts, and MGM animation studios had major budget cuts in the late 50′s and was shut down in 1957, and perhaps the studio shutting down had also taken the joy out of the crew, which would certainly have an effect on the cartoons. Now that doesn’t mean that these last 16 shorts are bad- they’re still quite entertaining, but they just don’t have the same energy as the shorts made in the Golden Years. They’re also nowhere near as cartoonishly violent as the past shorts had been; weapons are almost never used anymore and there are barely any efforts from Tom and Jerry to straight up kill each other, and more often than not they’re working together and even acting like close friends. I think that’s pretty fair evidence that even if these later shorts were much tamer and friendlier, that meant that they were lacking the same chaotic energy that made the other shorts so hilarious.

Also I just need to vent this here cuz this era also contains the two most absolutely infuriating shorts in the Hanna-Barbera era, that being 100 - Busy Buddies and 114 - Tot Watchers. These two shorts consist of Tom and Jerry attempting to stop a baby from accidentally dying cuz it’s just a dumb baby that doesn’t know anything, while the babysitter is just totally ignorant to everything happening. Now I can’t quite explain why and I’m probably just making myself look like an asshole but these shorts are just... so frustrating to me??? Like its bad enough that this stupid baby whose face NEVER changes from that stupid little smile just keeps wandering into dangerous situations (in Tot Watchers it straight up crawls into a CONSTRUCTION ZONE) but every time Tom rescues the little bastard and puts it back in its crib, the babysitter thinks he’s “bothering” the baby (probably because of that one myth about cats laying on babies and stealing their breath) and so poor Tom is just punished for doing literally nothing wrong!! It’s just... very frustrating to me for some reason I’m sorry... (Although I have to admit that it is interesting and kinda cute that Tom knows how to change a diaper, like wif the safety pins and everything. Why does he know that...?)

4) The Gene Deitch Shit Shorts: 115-127 (1961-1962)

OOOH BOY. I don’t think... that I can really describe how purely and utterly I dislike the Deitch shorts. Okay so, to explain, in 1961 MGM decided they wanted to revive the Tom and Jerry franchise, so they contracted an animation studio based in Czechoslovakia to create 13 new original shorts. All of these shorts were directed by Gene Deitch, who before being commissioned for these cartoons, was open about his disdain for the original Hanna-Barbera shorts that he described as “needlessly violent.” After he was assigned to the series, he did come around to somewhat realize that the violence was intended to be overly cartoonish and humorous, but his initial opinion still had an influence on his directing decisions. In addition to these facts, the foreign team behind this series had only collectively seen a handful of the original cartoons, and each short was given a budget of only $10,000, compared to the $50,000 that the Hanna-Barbera shorts had all been given.

SO. To recap, these 13 new shorts were being made by a foreign team who had barely seen any of the source material, directed by a man who had disliked the original cartoons, and being made on 1/5 of the budget that the Hanna-Barbera shorts were given. Needless to say, the end results were a DISASTER. I’m not kidding when I say that watching these shorts feels almost like a fever dream with how completely baffling and surreal they are. I honestly don’t think they could be any more different from the original series; the music and sound effects are extremely minimalist and usually completely absent, the animation is so jerky and totally lacking the fluidity of the originals, and the character design is also drastically different and, in my opinion, kinda ugly too. These are universally considered to be the worst of the theatrical shorts, and Deitch himself has even stated that he and his team “hardly had a chance to succeed” and he fully understands the negativity directed towards the shorts he directed. I have to confess that when I rewatched all the theatrical shorts, I only got through two of these before outright skipping the rest of them. These 13 shorts are a complete disgrace to the majesty of the Hanna-Barbera series, and while I don’t hold anything against the people behind them, I can’t lie when I say that I hate these shorts.

5) The Chuck Jones Era: 128-161 (1963-1967)

I have an odd love-hate relationship with these shorts. I don’t think I need to explain to you the legacy of the great Chuck Jones, the creator of Marvin the Martian, Pepe Le Pew, and the Roadrunner and Wile E. Coyote whose name is nearly synonymous with the Looney Tunes cartoons of the 30′s, 40′s, and 50′s. He’s an absolute legend in the animation industry, and yet... the Tom and Jerry shorts that he directed are still significantly weaker than the original series. Let me start with the things I like though! The slight changes in the character design to match Chuck Jones’ signature style are super appealing (I especially like how at times, Tom will almost resemble Jones’ design for the Grinch) and the animation is of course very well done and a joy to watch, but despite these positives, the humor is sadly lacking. There are still quite a few jokes that land, but they’re more restrained and just don’t have the same high-energy oomph! of the impactful gunshot sound effects and violent screams of the original cartoon. I’ll always have an appreciation for this era of shorts and the man behind them, but they sadly didn’t even come halfway close to the Hanna-Barbera series.

WELL. ANYWAY, THAT’S MY RANT!!! Thanks for reading this far, all two people that did. It just felt good to get this outta my system! 💖💖

#long post #💜: you're the cat's meow!#ruby rambles #i implore you i am begging you PLEASE interact wif this post #legit it will make me SO happy if someone leaves a little comment or ask for me and a reblog would actually kill me 💘💘#JUST PLEASE TALK TO ME ABOUT THE CARTOON I LOVE IT SM #maybe if people wanna talk about their favorite episodes and stuff!!! im more than willing to respond!!!#i just have so much to say im sorry jhfsjhd 🥺🥺🥺

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aarontalksmusic-blog · 5 years ago

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A Top 30 Horror Movies

This is Halloween! This is Halloween! There are a lot of awesome horror movies, but I picked just 30 that qualify as my favorites.

#30 - The Conjuring

So this movie isn’t perfect. The last 20-30 minutes kinda turn into a mess as the demon gets more confrontational. But, the first 90 minutes are a near perfect slow build of tension and smart visual storytelling. All the actors do a good job, even the kids. This movie has insured I never play Hide and Clap.

#29 - Paranormal Activity 2

In my opinion superior to the (still pretty good) original, PA2 moves faster than its predecessor and uses the audience’s curiosity against them in interesting ways. You’re always looking to the edges of the screen for something or someone out of place, and as the movie progresses, that curiosity rattles the nerves more and more.

#28 - The Hills Have Eyes (2006)

One of the only modern horror remakes that improves and expands on the original. The Hills Have Eyes hit when I was a junior in high school. It is gleefully gorey and deranged. People die in awful ways, and the protagonist (seen above) spends most of the last half hour drenched in blood. It’s a lot of fun if you’re into that sort of thing.

#27 - Event Horizon

Space Horror is a hard genre to get right. Event Horizon knocks it out of the park by getting the slow build right. There are gruesome and bloody images from time to time, but the majority of the movie is built on tension and dread. Having Sam Neill and Laurence Fishburne leading the cast adds some dramatic weight to the proceedings.

#26 - The VVitch

The GOAT 17th Century rural horror movie. This movie gets real weird and leaves a lot up to the audience’s imagination. The less said about it the better if you haven’t seen it. But, even for the 2010s renaissance of horror, this one stands out.

#25 - Hereditary

This is a list of my favorite horror movies, not the scariest. If it were “scariest” this would be top 10, maybe top 5. The second half of this movie is some of the most uncomfortable and relentlessly horrifying storytelling I’ve ever seen. Across just two feature films, Director Ari Aster has proved himself a master of the horror genre. We’re all worse off for it.

#24 - Return of the Living Dead

The first movie on this list that is more funny than scary, Return of the Living Dead is laugh out loud hilarious at times. Somehow, it still manages to be a more effective zombie movie than most serious ones. Great punk rock soundtrack and highly quotable, this is great for people who scare a little too easily.

#23 - Friday the 13th Part 2

Basically improving on the original in every way, Friday the 13th Part 2 is iconic even without Jason’s hockey mask making an appearance. The killer instead keeps a lumpy bag over his head the whole time. The movie lets you know early on that its going to be ridiculous, when the Part 2 logo literally smashes through the Friday the 13th title card. Great representation of the slasher genre.

#22 - Suspiria (2018)

I’m a sucker for lore in movies, and Suspiria is full to the brim with details that expand on the world. Led by great performances from Tilda Swinton and Dakota Johnson, the movie is highly intelligent and occasionally brutally violent. The fact that the director’s prior movie was “Call Me By Your Name” shows that he’s a talented filmmaker no matter the genre.

#21 - Halloween (1978)

Michael Myers is iconic. The music is iconic. Jamie Lee Curtis is an all-time great horror leading lady. Halloween is a must watch for horror genre fans.

#20 - Get Out

This movie is so well written it won an Oscar. Get Out is both hilarious and brutally tense. The acting is awesome across the board. Who knew Jordan Peele would use his comedy talent to make a career in scary movies?

#19 - Shaun of the Dead

A classic comedy filled with so many jokes that it takes about 3 watches to catch them all. Not scary in the least, but uniquely playful in the genre. Also made Simon Pegg a star. Nothing but greatness here.

#18 - The Descent

I’ll always remember my first watch of this movie. It slaps you in the face with trauma in the first 5 minutes. Then spends three quarters of an hour building tension and claustrophobia before suddenly becoming a solid monster feature. Though it fizzles a little at the end with some wtf moments, the first 3/4ths are very effecting.

#17 - Nightmare on Elm Street

Nightmare on Elm Street is just a cool as hell idea for a horror movie. It takes the occasional predictability of Halloween or Friday the 13th and flips it. The kills are inventive and visually interesting, the effects are very cool, and you get to see Johnny Depp get brutally murdered. win-win-win.

#16 - Saw

Saw came out at a perfect age for me. Seeing this movie at 16 was a great experience. Even as the sequels got worse and worse, the whodunnit nature of the original held up. People were literally drowning in gore by Saw 3, but this is a solid movie that knows when to tone things down. Great watch.

#15 - Evil Dead 2

By turns hilarious and unsettling, watching Evil Dead 2 allows the viewer to marvel at the special effects done on a shoestring budget. Bruce Campbell is an absurd and talented physical actor, and singlehandedly carries this movie into the hall of fame.

#14 - IT Chapter 1

Chopping the 1,000 page Stephen King book in half allowed the first half of the IT saga to thrive. Bill Skarsgard is a fantastic Pennywise, and the child actors all do well. A slightly repetitive series of scares keeps this one from perfection (and would be the downfall of Part 2), but its still an amazing peak of the genre.

#13 - Dawn of the Dead (2004)

Fast zombies. Zack Snyder directing before his head got too big. Hilarious musical cues. Apocalyptic imagery. This movie is one of the best of the zombie genre.

#12 - Fright Night (1985)

One of the most simply fun movies on this list, Fright Night is straight out of the mid 80s. It never takes itself too seriously, but it still has some good scares sprinkled in. An essential vampire movie, and the remake with Colin Farrell wasn’t half bad either.

#11 - The Omen (1976)

One of my early favorites, The Omen is another lore filled film that gradually ramps up the twists until the dramatic finale. Probably one of the least scary films on my list, its built on Gregory Peck being a great actor and a few pretty messed up deaths.

#10 - An American Werewolf in London

Another favorite from childhood, this is the best the werewolf genre has to offer. Made by John Landis who also did Animal House and Blues Brothers, American Werewolf balances 80s level of gore with award winning special effects and clever music (every song featured has moon in the title).

#9 - It Follows

One of the newest (and most original) movies on the list, It Follows is one of a kind. It’s terrifying, has great cinematography and halfway through the movie you have absolutely no clue how it will end. Must see.

#8 - Midsommar

This is absolute newest film on the list, and one I’m anxious to rewatch. Midsommar sets itself apart by being 95% in broad daylight and providing a wealth of backstory to the “bad guys”. Also Florence Pugh shows that she is an amazingly skilled actress, particularly in the final 10 minutes.

#7 - The Exorcist

^That guy is scary. He’s also only in the movie for like 3 seconds. Obviously this is a classic. If you haven’t seen it and like horror at all, it will still amaze you, almost 50 years later. I would’ve loved to be a fly on the wall when it was in theaters watching people lose their minds. Still a masterpiece of the genre.

#6 - The Blair Witch Project

I watched The Blair Witch Project for the first time alone in my room at age...I believe 14. That was a mistake. While the mistakes of the hikers become a bit hilarious on multiple rewatches, the night scenes are still tense af. The last 15 minutes are uniquely terror-inducing. Everybody’s seen this one, but if you haven’t, maybe watch it with the lights on?

#5 - The Evil Dead (2013)

This movie is one of the most intense and relentless horror movies ever. Nail guns, rusty knives, a turkey carver, a chainsaw, a machete: people get literally ripped apart in this movie. But, here’s the thing, its really really fun to watch. You’ll be out of breath when its over, but still.

#4 - Cabin in the Woods

Cabin in the Woods isn’t THAT scary. It flirts with scary. It has some shocking and frightening moments But mostly its a shitload of fun that plays on every trope of the horror genre. It also has one of my favorite final moments of any film on this list.

#3 - The Thing

Underappreciated upon its release, The Thing has become the standard by which body horror is measured. Its delightfully paranoid and lets the audience sit and think as gruesome deaths pile up.

#2 - Alien

One of the first movies to terrify me, Alien is one of the greatest horror movies ever made. The monster design is iconic. The kills and set pieces are one of a kind. It has a kick ass female heroine played by Sigourney Weaver. What more do you want?

and finally

#1 - The Shining

YEAHHHHHHH Here’s a brief list of iconic Shining scenes: - An elevator full of blood - The old woman in room 237 - All work and no play make Jack a dull boy - The snowy hedge maze - Here’s Johnny - Danny’s vision of the twins - The house of horrors finale featuring the man in bear costume featured above and of course - REDRUM This movie is a masterpiece, made by one of the greatest directors of all time, starring one of the greatest actors of all time and based on one of the scariest books by the defining horror author of our time. Its damn near perfect.

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paradife-loft · 6 years ago

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I’m at the end of ep28/beginning of ep29 in my CR rewatch and it’s just full of ALL the feelings, ;A;

Sumalee Montano gives SUCH a heartwrenching performance as Nila being reunited with her son and mate, I distinctly remember it making me cry last time as well as now <333 and in general I really love the way she breathes life into the firbolgs as a culture, too. I really hope we get to have her guest again.

and the specific little detail where Beau tells Nila’s mate how much the M9 relied on her in making it to help rescue them! is just so amazing and good bc it’s like... nobody at the time makes a big deal of it, but she’s clearly tucked away the conversation in the previous episode where Nila talks about not being very talented or special among her clan and other people not relying on her much, and so when Beau gets a chance she makes a point of doing something so specifically, observantly, kind for her.

(I think it’s really interesting how, this is the sort of thing that Beau starts doing, taking it from the “leave each place you go better than it was” philosophy of Molly’s - and even though she’s deliberately trying to take after his words, the two of them really have quite different methods of trying to improve small things for others? Molly gives to others a lot in terms of material conditions, and in somewhat generalised joy and pick-me-ups; Beau does a lot as far as as emotional conditions and interpersonal relationships are concerned. which I think comes down in large part to what their upbringing/early experiences were, and how that shaped what they focus in on as a fundamental need for people to survive and thrive.)

and then starting 29, it’s just extremely nostalgic in a weird surreal high-energy way for me because that was the first episode I ever watched with the livestream, and especially in the beginning it is. very chaotic. so deeply absurd. god I love these fucking nerds.

#James liveblogs television #Critical Role for ts

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wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 6 years ago

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Michael in the Mainstream: Split

There’s really no dancing around this: Split is a stealth sequel to Unbreakable. It is something that makes so much sense and puts so much of the film’s more absurd moments into context that you might think back and berate yourself for not catching on sooner. But it is a testament to how good this film is that this is actually the only twist, and it is a fairly minor one that enriches the viewing experience and encourages rewatching to pick up on all the tiny details that fall into line with the rules laid out in Unbreakable – a feat Shyamalan hasn’t really achieved since his first two movies.

After having a minor return with The Visit after becoming the butt of jokes in Hollywood for years, Shymalan proved he still had a knack for great filmmaking with this stunning comeback, an intense slowburn thriller with a heavy focus on character development, again calling to mind Unbreakable (it really makes you wonder if that twist was even meant to be one, or if it was just there to drive home the obvious). In a weird way, though, this movie is a lot more fun than Unbreakable was, though not necessarily in its subject matter; the film deals with abuse (physical and sexual), trauma, Disassociative Identity Disorder, kidnapping, hostage situations, and a monstrous entity known only as “The Beast.” Not exactly a lighthearted romp, but it manages to be more entertaining, if not exactly better, than its predecessor on the merit of its lead actor’s multiple performances.

James McAvoy is the MVP here. Portraying Kevin Crumb, a man with 23 split personalities who kidnaps three teenage girls to feed to his secret 24th personality known as “The Beast,” McAvoy faced the task of being able to make each personality portrayed believably distinct. To say he succeeded is a bit of an understatement; each and every one of the split personalities is enjoyably unique, from the prim and proper Patricia to the obsessive-compulsive neat freak Dennis to the creepy and awkward child Hedwig. We don’t get to see all of the personalities of course, with a few being relegated to brief cameos, but the ones we stick with through most of the film are well done and all feel different from each other.

Of course, some would argue the film is tastelessly treading into offensive territory with its depiction of mental illness, with the old and tired cliché of mentally ill people being portrayed as disturbed and violent. I would argue this is not the case; for one, the DID is portrayed relatively realistically, and out of all the personalities, only three or four of them are actually malevolent in any way, with the others just being normal people who happen to inhabit the same body as people like Dennis and Patricia. The fact the film takes place in a superhero universe also helps, as the more fantastic elements are much easier to swallow and any inaccuracies are merely artistic liberties taken. It should also be noted that Kevin’s therapist also repeatedly stresses that she doesn’t view them as awful or monstrous, and genuinely cares about their well-being and wants to help them. What I’m saying is this isn’t a poorly-executed B-movie portrayal of mental illness, and it should not be treated as such, especially as it does not claim to speak for people with DID at large (and if it does it doesn’t demonize them, as Kevin is ultimately a tragic and sympathetic figure to the end).

Anya Taylor-Joy is the other strong element this film offers, as she plays Casey, the only girl out of the three kidnapped who doesn’t lose her cool and is able to assess the situation and figure out how to adapt to what Kevin’s personalities toss her way with ease. The reason for her ability to adapt on the fly is outlined through flashbacks to her childhood interspersed throughout the story, which lead up to some heartwrenching and dark revelations that explain why she is so excellent at surviving situations like this. Frankly I find her performance to be a bit underrated, but it’s also not hard to see why when McAvoy is giving such a powerhouse performance that it tends to overshadow the other players; still, without Taylor-Joy to bounce off of, McAvoy’s performance might have missed that little extra something needed to make it truly great. Either way, both actors do a fantastic job in their roles.

The film’s plot is actually relatively straightforward, which is perhaps the biggest twist Shyamalan could possibly throw at an audience. Of course, that honestly helps the movie, because this film is much more about the characters and the way their experiences have molded them into who they are than it is about building up into some great mystery. And even without the trademark Shyamalan twist, it does have that trademark Shyamalan cinematography, with a lot of great shots and scenes.

There is so much I love about this movie, but one of my absolute favorite things isn’t in the film itself, but an interpretation of the film that was sadly deleted off of the Fridge Brilliance page on TVTropes. The troper’s theory was this:

Some of the events of the film curiously line up quite well with the song "Hotel California" by the Eagles. The lines "Then she lit up a candle and she showed me the way," "There were voices down the corridor," "She got a lot of pretty pretty boys that she calls friends," "And still those voices are calling from far away," "We're all just prisoners here of our own device," "And in the Master's chambers they gathered for the feast," and "Last thing I remember, I was running for the door" all stick out. However, the line that takes the cake has to be "They stab it with their steely knives, but they JUST CAN'T KILL THE BEAST."

Frankly I’m not sure this was intentional, but it does add a layer to the movie that makes me enjoy it even more, even if it’s not intended on the part of the Shyamalan. Frankly this is a step up from the unintentional joy The Happening gives me, so I think we can conclude Shyamalan is truly back on track.

Split is an absolutely fantastic film, and easily one of Shyamalan’s best. If you enjoyed Unbreakable, this one is definitely a must-see, and if you just like movies that are very character-driven to begin with, this film will be right up your alley. One can only hope that Glass can live up to this film and the first; it’s obviously doubtful it can surpass, but here’s hoping it can at least settle for being a satisfying conclusion.

#Michael in the Mainstream #review #movie review #M. Night Shyamalan #Split #superhero movie #James McAvoy #Unbreakable

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scottielambchop · 6 years ago

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Tite Five Vol. 1

Here's the deal: Unemployment really sucks.

But it's important to keep "flexing my writing muscle." So, I decided to take the blog format I had with my old company and take it here. Which is rad because I can now write all the f-swears I want. But even better, I can rename this stupid fucking thing. So without further ado, I present to you my Tite Five.

Arby’s Subscription Box

Well, the more things change, the more they stay the same. I may not be writing blogs for an ad agency anymore, but that doesn't fuckin' mean I won't talk about fast food.

For those who don’t know me (and now that I’m writing on my own blog, I don’t know why the fuck you wouldn’t), I have sort of backed myself into a corner with Arby's. It all started innocently enough. I wrote a Facebook post asking if anyone wanted to go on a romantic date to Arby’s. Seemed like a funny-enough thing to say. But then I doubled down and asked the same question again a few weeks later. Then again. And again. Soon enough, I became the “Arby’s guy.” Which, to be honest, isn’t the worst thing to be known for. Especially since Arby’s is pretty good and their Pizza Slider is one of the most underrated QSR food items on the market.

Alright, now that I got that little nugget of useless bullshit out of the way, let’s get to this subscription box. For the past couple of years, Arby’s has been fucking killing it in the advertising game. Their hilarious Ving Rhames-voiced copy spots and subsequent transition to more visual stuff with H. Jon Benjamin, their delightfully nerdy paper-craft social posts, and now, their subscription box. That’s right, you fuckin’ heard (or read) me correctly, Arby’s now has a subscription box.

In early January, Arby’s tweeted out they would be sending a subscription box called Arby's of the Month. All you had to do was sign up for $25, and you would get six mystery boxes of seasonal gear from everyone’s favorite roast beef provider. Now, I’m sure you’re wondering, “Who the hell would want that?” Well, let me tell you, a lot of people the hell would want that. It sold out in less than an hour.

Minneapolis' Fallon (my dream agency) has done amazing work with Arby's. They've taken your grandparents’ favorite fast food joint and turned it into something for everyone. By simply getting weird with everything they do, the younger generations have latched on. Honestly, who the fuck would think about sending a subscription box full of roast beef swag, and how the fuck did it work so well? The answer is Fallon.

P.S. If anyone from Fallon is reading this, my portfolio is scottielantgen.com. Hire me, please.

Re-Watching South Park

One of the most beautiful things about unemployment in the digital age is the ability to hunt for jobs across the country while sitting on your couch and streaming a seemingly endless supply of shows. And that’s exactly what the fuck I’ve been doing with South Park.

Now before I begin, I just need to say that, yes, the show’s liberal use of the “f-word,” “r-word,” and countless racial stereotypes DO NOT hold up well to today’s standards. And honestly, I’m not going to defend it. It’s not my place.

Problematic dialogue aside, what I love about rewatching South Park from almost the very beginning (just skip the first three seasons. You're not missing much) is how it’s a perfect current event/pop culture time capsule. I seriously forgot about Elián González, Terri Schiavo, how the popularity of Paris Hilton made everyone fucking terrible for a while, and just the Passion of the Christ in general. But thanks to South Park, those headlines came rushing back in vivid detail.

South Park still holds up as some of the best satire ever created. It’s quick, funny, and often offensive. And I’m pretty sure that’s what Trey Parker and Matt Stone wanted it to be.

Also, Butters and Randy Marsh are two of my favorite fictional characters.

Skittles Commercial: The Broadway Musical

The “Big Game” (who has the money, amirite?) is tomorrow, and it’s like a goddamn advertising cotillion. It’s the day where the entire country gathers around a TV to eat a variety of sauced meats, drink one of three different beers, and watch the newest batch of commercials from some of the biggest brands in the country. I am told there’s also a football game.

This is the day companies spend millions of dollars for 30 seconds of air time. It’s absurd. But it’s the most viewed event of the entire year, so companies feel the need to get their air time. Except for Skittles. They've been doing something a little different.

Last year, Skittles was fed up with the high price of “Big Game” ad placement, and decided to ditch that mess and do their own thing. So, they did what any other rational company who wanted to advertise to millions of viewers would do. They made an ad for just one person (Check it out. It rules). This little stunt got them billions of media impressions, which, in a lot of ways, is just as good as paid placement.

Where does Skittles go after the major success of last year’s stunt? Broadway of course. During halftime, Skittles will present a one-time performance of Skittles Commercial: The Broadway Musical. Lead by Six Feet Under’s own Michael C. Hall (fuck Dexter), this 30-minute musical is slated to be very meta. Their website states, “Through song and dance, the show takes an absurdly self-reflective look at consumerism and the ever-increasing pervasiveness of brand advertising in our lives.”

It’s fucking brilliant, and I can’t wait to hear how it turns out.

Companies Taking a Stand

Other than writing as many “fucks” and “shits” as I want, one of the coolest things about writing this blog untied from any agency has to be freely expressing whatever dumb-fucking-shit opinion I have. Don’t get me wrong, my old company gave me a lot of freedom, but I always felt it best to stray away from any “controversial” or “political” opinions. Now I’m off the leash and ready to spread my leftist propaganda like a mother fucking virus!

There is a great divide in our country. I know it’s always been there, but it seems way worse ever since the 2016 campaign trail. Regardless, with this growing separation between liberals and conservatives/left and right/cool dudes and white people, companies are also taking sides. And I think it’s a really fucking smart idea.

As you’ve probably seen (and possibly burnt your own shoes about), Nike was one of the first major companies to take a stand for what they believed in. Hiring “controversial” athlete, Colin Kaepernick, to be the face of their newest campaign was a really bold move, but it paid off big time.

Yes, they faced a backlash. Fox News was all up their ass about “DiSrEsPeCtInG tHe FlAg,” and Twitter users shared a litany of videos of people destroying the products they already bought and paid for. But overall, the campaign was killer and showed that the company was willing to put themselves at risk for equality and doing what is right—though I’m sure they’re heartbroken your shitty uncle won’t buy their socks ever again.

Gillette was the next big company to pick a side. They took a stance on the truly controversial topic of “not being a shitty dude.” I really don’t know where the backlash for this came from, but apparently, men don’t like being told that it’s wrong to catcall and sexually assault women. For a bunch of “manly-men,” they’re really crying like little babies over a minute-long video. The ad is still pretty new, but it already seems to be resonating well with younger male audiences, but not so much with boomers. Weird, right?

And lastly, Patagonia just announced that they will donate all 10 million dollars they saved on tax cuts to environmental groups. I don’t know how people will find a way to be upset by this, but I don’t doubt for a single second that someone will. The world is a nightmare.

Listen, I know there are always going to counter-arguments.

“Oh, they’re just exploiting a current issue to make money.”

“Oh, you may think they’re doing the right thing, but their internal business model is totally fucked.”

“Oh, not all men.”

“Oh, that money could have gone to hard workers and not a stupid tree or whatever.”

It really doesn’t matter. This is advertising. They are spreading a message. You may not need a razor at this moment, but that spot can also serve as a reminder to be a better man. You may prefer a different brand of athletic wear, but that doesn’t mean you won’t be able to see how much a person has sacrificed to support a cause. You may not be a white Instagrammer, but now you know that some companies are doing honorable things. These companies aren't just selling products, they’re also selling ideals.

Gratitude

As I’ve alluded to throughout this post, I recently lost my job. I wanted to make light of it a little, but I also just wanted to get some things off my chest. The truth of the matter is this: I am forever grateful for the opportunity I was given and the people I befriended along the way. I was able to work with and learn from some of the most talented people I have ever met. I took a huge risk moving to a smaller, one-agency town to take this job—and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I am forever thankful for this time in my life.

One of my biggest New Year’s resolutions was to express more gratitude. As I said before, the country is divided. I can’t seem to hop on any social media channel without seeing some kind of bullshit-fueled fight going on. Everyone seems to be focusing on the negative and no one really cares about the positive (I fully understand the irony of this sentence). But this could change by expressing more gratitude for the people in your life and amazing opportunities.

Listen, I could be really pissed about the current state of the world. And honestly, I am. But I’m trying to express more positivity. Everyone else can complain about our turd of a president 24 hours a day. Why not tell the important people in your life why you’re thankful to have them? It’s a really fucking simple thing to do—and it could possibly start a chain reaction.

Listen, I’m not going to tell you to not focus on the bad parts of your job or whatever because that shit is so much more easily said than done. And it also goes on a job-by-job basis (I couldn’t really think of a positive in working in corporate finance or some soul-sucking shit like that). But I will say this, I’m thankful I was able to work a job where I could see a bright side. I learned a lot and I’m looking forward to the next steps in my career.

I know it seems tough to remain positive in such dark times. But, fuck, this is your life. You’ve only got one of em. Don’t spend it worrying or complaining all the time. Find the positive and try and improve upon that… or don’t. It’s your fuckin’ life. Do whatever you want.

Well, guys, that’s it for my very first Tite Five (but also not, ya know?). I hope this was as enthralling as Chris made it out to be. I love you all. I’ll probably see you next week with another post of sorts. Take care and don’t drink and drive after the “Big Game.”

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curetapwater · 3 years ago

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The deliberation with which sao abridged is written is truly admirable. Absurd rewatch value just to pick up on so many little details that you realize are actually threaded throughout.

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dumbbelle · 7 years ago

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robber!Minghao

In the end, Chan’s the one who says it best: “So… What you’re telling me is that you broke into Y/N’s house to steal a painting, and walked out having stolen their heart instead?”

Seokmin raises his hand for a high five. “Smooth man, smooth.”

Minghao Robin Hoods the frick outta his life, and quite literally bumps into you in the process.

✄ Word Count: 3402 ✄ T/W: Swearing, attempted robbery, cute shit ✄ A/N: Heyo it’s Belle, I’m back with something that nobody asked for but I thought was necessary.

Masterlist

Contrary to what his best friend and roommate says, Xu Minghao insists that he’s a decent person.

(“And Mingyu can go fuck himself with his morals, the asshole’s the most notorious bootlegger you’ll find on campus”)

But honest, Minghao is a simple college boy.

He came to Pledis University when he was 18 as an international student, double majoring in Visual Arts, and Korean Language and Culture.

He’s there mostly on scholarship but he also has financial support from his parents, so he’s never really had to worry about his economic status.

He’s not the most social of kids but he’s also not the most introverted, so he always has just enough friends and just enough parties to attend as to not get bored.

But he gets bored anyway, because he’s always been an active child itching to do more.

So really, this whole mess started when he decides that he should pick up his old hobby:

Breakdancing

It’s mostly just a passing thought that comes to him when he comes back home for holiday and rewatches a VHR tape of an old b-boying competition.

But it lingers and every once in awhile he considers the possibility of him just quitting school and becoming a b-boy star like he once dreamed of.

After all, he was pretty damn good.

(He accidentally thinks this out loud during dinner and his mother throws her chopsticks at him)

Anyway, he returns to college for the new year and he’s almost completely forgotten about his old dreams.

Luckily enough (or maybe unluckily enough, depending on the perspective), there is a campus b-boy squad that he happens to stumble upon during his second-year clubs fair (as in, they barrelled into him with a flier and bombarded him with questions).

To be truthful, it seems pretty lame and Minghao’s sure that if he went underground, he could probably find a cooler scene,,,

But also, they said that there would be snacks at the interest meeting,,,

And so he makes the considerate decision to attend.

The interest meeting is where he meets Seokmin of all people.

The acting major makes a scene when he announces that he’s not there as Lee Seokmin but as Kang Hajoon, a lower-class high school drop out who finds his way through the power of breakdance.

(“Nobody knew who you were in the first place, dipshit–“

“–I said to call me Hajoon–“

“–Just sit down.”)

And people are snickering at Seokmin because they find his method acting lame.

But Minghao finds that lame so he proceeds to sit down right beside the boy and stare daggers at any jerk who directs a snide comment their way.

He hangs around just long enough so that he can decimate the rest in a b-boy demonstration, pretty much showing them all what they’re going to miss out on.

And then he gets up and leaves the meeting, Seokmin following behind him.

They grab some chips on their way out and properly introduce themselves.

“Hey sorry about all of that in there, Seo- uh, Hajoon. B-boyers usually aren’t assholes… Just them. Don’t let that bleed into your portrayal, you feel? I’m Minghao, by the way. Nice to meet you.”

“Don’t worry, I’m over it. Thanks for what you did back there... It’s nice to meet you too. And you can call me Seokmin now, I’m done with Hajoon for the day.”

Which starts an odd, but well-oiled friendship.

Seokmin introduces Minghao to all of his friends, and that’s how Minghao ends up with an incredibly,, diverse,, friend group.

And by diverse, he means that he’s positive his friendship with them will likely result with him going to jail.

He should’ve realized it when the de facto leader Seungcheol introduced himself as “S.Coups” and made him sign a waiver of liability before joining the group.

It was scribbled on to the back of a receipt but yeah, it should’ve been a little concerning

But Minghao just kinda rolls with it.

And this is how he finds himself inducted into their so-called “League of Good Doers Doing Not So Good Doer Things”.

It’s a working title; LoGDDNSGDT for short.

(“What do you do, Seokmin?”

“I’m a recruiter!”

“… That’s fair.”)

It takes him a few months to solidify his role in the group (he’s the last to join), but in that time he manages to become especially good friends with Mingyu, so much so that he becomes his roommate.

Mingyu’s known for using his technical abilities to bootleg high quality concert footage, videos, textbooks, and whatever else you need.

(“We’re all just a bunch of broke college students with a bunch of broke college student needs. We’re just making those needs realities.”)

Also alcohol, he sells a lot of alcohol.

And though Minghao initially scoffs at this, it also makes him check his privilege a little

He’s always been fortunate enough to grow up with money and be smart, free to do whatever he wants when he wants.

Growing up, he’s had a lot of interests and a lot of phases, all of which he more than excelled in.

Gosh, there was even that one ninja phase…

THE NINJA PHASE

He’s eating a brownie that’s probably been laced with weed one Friday night as he watches tv with Mingyu and Seokmin when he remembers the ninja phase.

He remembers how stealthy he is and just how good he is at picking locks.

And so he decides to Robin Hood the frick outta his life, robbing the expensive belongings from the richer students and pawning their items off so he can donate to the poor.

He excels at this too, much to Mingyu’s chagrin (“the kid’s just fuckin’ good at everything!”)

It definitely alleviates him of his boredom, and he’s so subtle and precise with it that most of the time, people don’t even notice when things are missing.

He’s become some kind of town legend, and so many people idolize this mysterious robber that the authorities aren’t even too concerned.

He’s also somehow acquired this odd nickname?? The8?? They say it’s because you never know how his crimes begin or how they’ll end.

Like the only thing anybody knows about his victims is that they’ll be wealthy (but gosh, Pledis U has too many of those roaming the place),,,, but then next thing you know the underfunded art department will suddenly get a donation of a few thousand, or the Culture Club food drive will find a gazillion non-perishable cans when they come back the next morning.

Minghao likes to think he's spontaneous.

Now this is where you come in (“finally,” I can hear you sigh from behind your screens)

Unlike everyone else around you, you do not have the biggest crush on this mysterious figure.

(“Just for the record, ‘The8’ is literally the dumbest robber alias I have ever heard.”

“How many have you heard before?”

“Not. The. Point.”)

All he does is go around and undermine people’s hard work, invading their personal space and infringing on their privacy.

All so that he can make a quick buck.

And sure, maybe he’s not spending all that money on himself, but to make students feel unsafe and unprotected in their own freaking homes and dorms?

And to have nobody do anything about it?

Absurd.

It becomes such a constant source of ire for you that you rant about this almost daily.

But it’s like you’re the only one who understands the gravity of the situation.

Your closest friends are all about this guy, singing his praises and commending his selflessness.

Your junior, Chan, is particularly adamant about the quality of his character (you have no idea about his involvement with the LoGDDNSGDT, of course; after all, he also had to sign the receipt contract).

So you’re a party of 1 in the Anti-The-8 Movement.

He’s three months into it when he makes a rather stupid mistake:

He decides to rob you.

Minghao will later complain that anybody could’ve gotten the wrong idea.

He sees you for the first time in his Korean History class.

He doesn’t exactly know how he missed you before.

First of all, you’re fucking gorgeous

First of all, there is a certain air that you carry yourself with–

It’s poised and self-assured and kind of breathtaking.

You raise your hand to read a passage and even the way you speak is levelled and controlled.

You remind him of royalty some of the other wealthy kids on campus.

Probably trained to uphold a certain degree of eloquence so that you can one day take over your parents’ company and maintain good business relationships.

And socialize at those hoity-toity parties with the little hors d'oeuvres.

His thoughts are confirmed after class when he overhears you talk with your friends.

You’re asking your friend to take notes in place for you when you go off to vacation with your family next week.

“Heading off to the island?” Your one friend chirps.

“Yeah, dad just finished a successful case and we’re celebrating.”

And wait, an island? These guys must be fucking loaded.

Your friend lets your name slip and it’s all starting to make a lot more sense.

Now he’s heard of your name around campus.

Your parents are lawyers who built an empire, opening up law firms around the country.

They’re known for being ruthless and never sharing their wealth.

In short, they’re prime targets!!

Minghao feels like it’s Christmas– this will be his biggest catch since that one kid who was the heir to the electric toothbrush company.

He trails you and your friends for a few minutes just to confirm the details and then he’s off to plan.

Fast forward a week later to when you should be going off to vacation.

But instead you come down with the stomach flu, and not a pretty one either.

You experience the full range of systems:

Vomit, fever, dizziness, fatigue,,, There’s no way your parents are letting you tag along on the trip.

And you’re too busy vomiting to argue.

So they ditch your ass and head off to vacation by themselves, once you assure them that you’ll be fine on your own.

After all, you are a certified GDI who can take care of yourself.

… Who just so happens to be dressed up in a onesie, cuddling a large teddy bear as you watch Netflix from your nest of pillows on the couch.

You’ve scrolling through your recommended feed when you hear it:

The door opening

And you have to wonder if the vacation ended early because who else… Would…

You gasp when you realize what’s going on, rushing to turn off the television as to eliminate all sources of sound.

All your nightmares are coming true, and you haven’t even fully developed a game plan to approach this awful situation.

Now you’re not dumb, you’re not gonna run headfirst into a situation where you don’t have the upper hand.

Instead, you’ll hide and discreetly notify the authorities when you activate the alarm system.

And so no, you’re not dumb,,

But you are clumsy.

You’re trying to navigate your way to your bedroom, remote in hand as a backup weapon, checking over your shoulder at every possible moment.

Perhaps you’re checking over your shoulder a little too much, because next thing you know you’ve crashed into a wall.

Except the wall moves and you know that it’s definitely not a wall.

The wall makes a sound, a little grunt and you snap your head back around so quickly, you think you hear the whip of the wind.

The man in front of you is tall and skinny, and seems oddly familiar even with his ski mask on.

You don’t have too much time to contemplate this however , as you’re too busy trying to whack the heck outta him with your remote.

“GET OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU ASSBUCKET.”

It's all just too much, and you're surprised you haven't shat your pants because of how scared you are.

But,,,, The8 is kinda just taking it??? He's trying to block you of course (and mostly succeeding to, the jerk) but he's not trying to fight back. What kind of shitty robber…?

You're c o n f u s e d, which is why you stop to look up at him expectantly.

“You done?” His voice incites a whole new wave of panic to wash over you, and you raise your remote to start hitting him again but The8 quickly raises his hands in surrender. “Hey, hey now, I'm not here to hurt you.”

You're skeptical, of course you are. But you think back to all the gossip you’ve heard about The8, and realize that you can’t recall any accounts of violence.

This doesn't change the fact that this asshole is robbing you, so you use the remote to gesture towards his ski mask.

“Take it off.”

And he sighs, as if it's inevitable, but holds up a finger and starts to negotiate,,,, as if he has any right to in this current situation,,, and gosh, how is he so damn calm right now??

“Okay, but if I do, promise you won’t call the cops immediately.”

You don't know why you agree to his terms– you're sure it won't make a difference.

He’ll get the cops called on him sooner or later.

But if it gets him to cooperate… You agree with a swift dip of your head.

The tension in the room is palpable, and you have to remind yourself to breathe as he starts to take off his mask.

And oh fuck you know who it is you know who it is you know who it is.

You recognize him immediately as the cute guy in your Korean History class, the one you've had a crush on since forever and a half ago.

The one that's always hanging out with that group of loud kids…Chan's Precious Seniors

And somewhere in your subconscious, you're freaking out about the possibility of Chan being involved in a crime syndicate.

And further freaking out about how you’ve confided in Chan about your crush in Xu Minghao, who just so happens to be The8 and holy fuck you can’t believe it’s him.

You really don’t have much time to dwell, because the shock and overexertion of the situation starts gets to you, and you’re starting to feel dizzy. It’s like the fever finally catches up to you–

And then you’re falling, fainting–

The last thing you hear before you pass out is the startled cry of your name.

…

You wake up to the smell of broth, and the feeling of a damp cloth pressed to the top of your forehead.

Your headache is devastating, but you’re otherwise positioned comfortably

It takes you a minute to process that you’re back on your living room couch, low hum of the television sounding from somewhere to your right

You try to locate the smell of broth, which is when you meet eye-to-eye with a very timid looking Minghao

He’s more tense than earlier, as if he’s scared you’ll jump up right then and there to attack him

And you would, honest, but the broth,,, smells,,, so,,, good,,,

You motion for him to give it to you and he relaxes before quickly complying, letting you sit up before gently placing the bowl in your hands.

He settles into a stool beside you– one that definitely wasn’t there before, but it’s whatever.

You sit there in silence for a good couple of minutes, Minghao watching the drama playing on TV as you drink your broth.

It’s kinda nice

Minghao’s the first one to speak.

“Please don’t exert yourself like that if you’re sick. You could’ve had a heart attack or something.”

He sounds so small that you just manage to resist throwing the rest of the hot soup at him in the sudden bubble of anger that erupts from you in the form of a hiss.

“Um, my memory might be wrong here but wasn’t it you who broke into my house in the first place, assbucket?”

He chuckles at that, and you’re slowly losing that sliver of self-restraint.

“Assbucket, that’s a new one.” You notice that his accent is more prominent when he’s amused.

“You deserve worse, you assbucket.”

At that he really laughs, and you have to look away to distract yourself from how attractive the sound is.

“You’re cute, you know that?”

You’re not sure what to say to that, and Minghao can tell. He quickly changes tact.

“Listen, I get why you’re mad.” Oh, now wouldn’t that be the understatement of the year.

“But I promise I’m not here to hurt you. I-I won’t even steal anything from here anymore. But please, please don’t make yourself more sick because of me.”

And man, fuck Minghao for making it damn near impossible to call the police on his ass. You don’t say anything more until you finish up your broth.

“Why… Why do you do it?”

Minghao shrugs. “Just because.”

“Just because? You’re violating my home, Minghao. This is my private space, and you’re infringing upon it without my consent.”

Minghao furrows his eyebrows, as if he’s never considered it before. And God, why did it have to be him?

Minghao finally hums. “Would you miss it?”

W-wha… “Huh?”

Minghao nods towards an abstract modernist piece that hangs high up on your wall. “Would you miss it?”

Your silence is more than enough to answer his question.

“But I’m sorry, you know. I truly wouldn’t have come around if I was aware you’d be home. Aren’t you supposed to be on vacation?”

“. . . Minghao, that’s creepy. Don’t do that. Besides, how do you know my name?”

“How do you know mine?”

The fucker. You blush, shrugging and dropping the subject completely. You’re avoiding his eyes so much that you miss the fond smile on his lips. He’s about to say something when a phone sounds. You realize it’s coming from Minghao’s pocket and watch as he takes it out, curious.

Minghao checks his phone and immediately scowls, closing his eyes in what seems like exasperation.

“I… I have to go, so sorry. My roommate just did something unbelievably stupid because he’s unbelievably stupid.”

You refrain from asking; you really don’t wanna know.

“Will you be alright by yourself? I’m worried… I’ll try to stay longer if you don’t think you will… I mean, if you want. Or I can call someone to come or–”

Where was this bashful kid an hour ago? For the first time that evening, you let out a small smile. He sees it and is stunned, momentarily blinded by your beauty.

“I’ll be fine Minghao, go help your roommate.”

He nods, getting up to leave, but not before taking your phone from the coffee table. He holds it out so that you can unlock it, and you do, though the question hangs in your eyes.

“I-I’m not taking it, just wanted to give you my phone number. In case you start to feel worse. Call me or don’t... It’s whatever.”

And so you do.

...

Bonus:

Three months later, you’re recounting the tale to the rest of the boys during one of their weekly movie nights. (You don’t dare touch the brownies, Minghao tells you they’re fucked.)

In the end, Chan’s the one who says it best: “So… What you’re telling me is that you broke into Y/N’s house to steal a painting, and walked out having stolen their heart instead?”

Seokmin raises his hand for a high five. “Smooth man, smooth.”

Your boyfriend ignores it, though Seokmin stubbornly keeps his hand up and waits for anyone to complete the exchange. You tap your palm against his in pity.

“Actually,” Minghao starts, nuzzling his nose into your hair, “I would say Y/N is the one who stole my heart instead. Just had to fall straight into my arms like that… A true master of seduction.”

You giggle, turning your head to peck his lips. The boys groan, losing interest in your story and turning back towards the movie.

From somewhere in the corner, you hear Mingyu fake a gag.

(Perhaps it’s the brownies, you can’t really tell.)

Masterlist

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keyofjetwolf · 7 years ago

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Jet Wolf Summarizes Act 45

The manga and I kind of hate each other. This is unfortunate, but still, I’m determined to come out of this with something. Rather than spend energy on a liveblog that’s increasingly negative, I’m reading each manga act (mostly) silently, and then writing up summaries at the end. I won’t pull my punches. There’s going to be criticism and snark about the manga, either wholesale or in details. If that isn’t a thing you feel like reading, please skip this post!

It’s not that I’m disappointed by how surprised I’m not by anything that happened here. It’s more like the resigned haze of going through a vaguely unpleasant experience. Like going to the dentist. You’ll never be happy to go, but you take a deep breath every six months and sit in the chair and get on with it.

Only this is weekly. And I can’t put it off for three years. ALSO I DON’T GET A LITTLE PLASTIC TOY AT THE END WHERE IS MY LITTLE PLASTIC TOY GOD DAMMIT

Anyway, I hate myself, SO IT’S MANGA TIME.

A brand new volume brings the same old shit, as we open with the Inners incapacitated and helpless. Remember how furious I was back in Crystal that I spent several hours combing through the fucking thing to calculate how much collective time the Inner Senshi spent knocked out or otherwise unable to fight? LITTLE DID I KNOW THAT WOULD BE THE MOST ACCURATE FUCKING PART OF THE WHOLE SERIES.

So the Outers burst in, all eyeless and mysterious. But not so mysterious that Haruka can’t be a fucking asshole to Michiru, who is also there. They transform in full view of the Quartet, which in no way seems contradictory to their vows to keep everyone safe. They free the Inners, who spend the next twenty pages or so simply saying the Outers’ names and otherwise doing nothing. Or so you’d think. Off-panel, the girls stand at their portable mini-bar and talk about their job search while CPR dummies in cheap store-bought Senshi costumes seamlessly replace them. After about fifteen minutes, Michiru has joined them. She didn’t bother with a stand-in. Nobody on-panel notices.

Artemis is a cat again. Minako picks up the vodka, pours a shot, and then drinks directly from the bottle.

At Usagi’s house, she’s suffering from Black Rose Syndrome. They still manage to work in Mamoru.

Back in the fight with the Quartet, Pluto lays down the most absurd fucking shit that I actually yelled when I read it.

THIS DOESN’T MAKE ANY FUCKING SENSE

"We can’t avoid our destiny, which is protecting Usagi (and Mamoru too for no fucking good reason I guess), so we’ll do all we can to do the thing we are destined to do to overcome that destiny in order to make a new one which will be identical in all respects to the old one for the next thousand years, minimum.”

SAYING “FATE” AND “DESTINY” A LOT DOESN’T MEAN YOU’RE ACTUALLY DOING ANYTHING TO AFFECT IT PLUTO AND YOU OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD GET THAT

This entire part makes me so fucking angry. If the manga has reinforced anything, it’s the idea of its characters having exactly no will or control over anything that happens do them. Their personalities are paper thin and their devotion never justified, so literally all that’s left is “because reasons”. And if you want that as a central point of your story, by all means. But you don’t ALSO then get to wave your hand and try to claim this dramatic push toward freedom and choices. IT’S NOT AN “IT’S COMPLICATED” RELATIONSHIP STATUS HERE YOU’VE NOT PUT IN THE WORK TO EARN THAT AND I RESENT YOU TRYING

Or put another way:

Anyway, through all of this, the Inners have been trying to reach Usagi, but she caught mono from Mamoru and it’s not working. So the Outers try, and THAT Usagi picks up. Off panel, Rei drains the last of her whiskey, throws the bottle into the wall, and storms out.

Usagi’s wide awake now and reduced to tears that the Outers showed back up again. I know I always feel the same level of emotion when thinking of a reunion with a small group of people I had five conversations with, only one of which was not directly threatening in some way. IT IS THE STUFF FEELINGS ARE MADE OF

Michiru’s mirror reappears, acknowledging her existence and thereby proving itself unique in all the Sailor Moon mangaverse.

Usagi runs outside, only to see Mamoru running to her. He heard her voice calling out to him. I can’t help but think that things would be a lot more bearable if earbuds had been invented.

You know, something I’ve had to deal with hearing a lot since starting this rewatch project is how the characters are so much smarter in the manga.

The time period between all the Inner Senshi entering that tend and the Outers arriving was, at absolute best, about ten minutes. The Inners were going to the exact same circus show every single day for like two weeks, and the bad guys were laying their global conquest plan WITH THEM RIGHT THERE, so effectively that they could spring it in less time than it takes to watch the average Steven Universe episode, and they still didn’t know what the fuck was going on until someone else told them. I’m not saying the anime had everyone operating at peak observational performance here, I’m just saying I don’t want to hear shit about comparative intelligence again. THE NARRATIVE MAKES CONVENIENT FOOLS OF ALL

Chibs runs through town, noticing how dark it’s getting and how generally shitty Juuban is. Usagi and Mamoru catch up to her, just in time to unite with the other Senshi for ~drama~. Zirconia and Nehellenia appear with my new favourite phrase.

USE IT AT YOUR LOCAL GROCERY STORE AND ENJOY THE REPERCUSSIONS

Immediately, Usagi coughs up blood and collapses. HARUKA IS ALARMED

Michiru finishes her wine and moves to the brandy.

Lots of things GLOW and Pegasus answers the call of “could this possibly be less interesting”. He appears out of nowhere and utilizes what is without question the creepiest fucking “good guy” power I have ever seen.

THE POWER TO MAKE PEOPLE EIGHT YEAR OLDS

GOD I AM SO UNSETTLED RIGHT NOW THAT PEGASUS CAN JUST DO THIS AT WILL

What purpose does this de-aging serve, you ask? WHO THE FUCK KNOWS THE STORY DOESN’T FEEL YOU NEED AN ANSWER TO THAT QUESTION

Then Pegasus fades, and so do Usagi and Mamoru, and the Senshi freak out as they realize that means they have to carry the story on their own. But the issue realizes what a terrible idea that is too, and it shifts to Chibs and Hotaru, who have run off alone to pursue Nehellenia. Why just them? FUCK YOU THAT’S WHY

They encounter the Quartet, and Hotaru spends a not inconsiderable amount of time trying to convince them that they’re really good. I would like to point out how this is the first time literally anyone in this story hasn’t killed a mini-boss on sight, and how nonsensical and contrived it feels because of that. ONCE AGAIN THIS WAS SO FUCKING EASY TO AVOID

Then shit kind of happens I guess, it’s hard to tell. There are orbs and mirrors and people sucked into both. Then I think they go to Nehellenia, or maybe she’s at a rummage sale and delighted by all the savings.

Next time:

MAMORU’S LONE DISTRESSING NIPPLE

#JW reads Sailor Moon #sm manga dream #sm manga act 45 #jet wolf versus the manga #jet wolf summarizes the manga #a novel by jet wolf

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fictionfromgames · 5 years ago

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Bleach: Duelo Paraíso (Bleach d20 campaign setting)

Novenas Shinigami arc Opening theme: "Take Me Home" by Ken Ashcorp

Raito reached for her sword, but it wasn't there. It wasn't that she saw anything, but it was dark and rainy again, just like it was when she received it.

A crablike monster moves in diagonals along the street, a muddle of grays and purples with a giant mask and unnerving humanlike teeth. Its four arms should have been claws, but instead are long and spindly with hands at the end. One of its left arms holds a sword with an odd tsuba. Raito throws another rock, trying to distract it from the child wearing what looks like a couple of chain links on her chest.

"Oi, schoolgirl," a familiar voice called out ahead of her. It was her again.

"Yaeyume, I'm in university," Raito snapped back to reality, "Do you see me in a uniform?"

A very tall, pale woman with midnight black hair leaps into the lane and in this flash, the monster's sword arm disappears too. She carries a heavy European looking blade. She looks directly at Raito and tells her to run.

"Sorry, it's just, at a certain point, everyone just looks young," Yaeyume grins, "Not 20, not 18, just obviously younger than me."

"You're not old!" Raito insisted, then noticed what the shinigami was carrying, "Are those... frozen dinners?"

"Yeah! Just out getting groceries, not business this time," the taller woman nods.

"Yaeyume, you have to eat real food, not just frozen gyoza!!" Raito fumes.

"This is real food!" came with a frown, “Protein, calories, the uh... other things!”

A human woman somehow sword fights a giant crab monster with ease. It follows a pattern; the masked crab attempts to pick up the sword and she lops off another arm or hand. Their chaos stumbles closer to the girl with the chain. Raito moves in.

"Criticisms aside," Yaeyume sniffed, "Are you coming over for more practice?"

"Yes, but let me cook at least," Raito pleaded, "I'll bring some veggies."

Yaeyume looked almost taken aback, ready to protest, when Raito continues.

"I'll bake something too, we can have dessert," she smiled.

Raito sweeps the child into her arms and keeps running. The fight shouldn't be important but she looks over her shoulder anyway. The sword fighter was drawing down on the monster's mask. She shuts her eyes.

The rain started coming down heavier, and the shinigami flinched. She didn't have an umbrella, just bags full of boxed meals. Raito jogged over.

"Here, let's switch," she offered her umbrella, "You can walk me home."

"If going out of my way means my gyoza thaws, I'm blaming you."

"Just take the umbrella you goofy half-giant!"

"Yes, miss Kotsuzato, of course, miss Kotsuzato" came the mocking servility.

"Who are you?" the dark haired woman demands, "How can you see any of this?"

Raito is at a loss, and merely replies, "R-Raito... Kotsuzato."

"Okay well rule number one, Raito Kotsuzato," she frowns, "If you're a civilian, you run *away* from Hollows, regardless of what's going on."

"This girl was going to be crushed and you didn't even care!" Raito shouts, "I don't know who you think you are--"

"What do you even know about spirits, civilian? Hmm?" she quirks an angry brow, "Sure, she might have been kicked around, but she's not going anywhere until I perform the Soul Funeral."

"Spirits?" Raito looks at the girl with the chain.

"Yeah, the Hollow, her, that," she points at the sword on the ground, "All none of your business."

"Wait, so... I wasn't crazy?" Raito's eyes go wide, "I've been seeing things since--"

"One thing at a time," the tall warrior hits the child with the butt of her sword, "Go peacefully, sweetie."

The girl vanishes before getting to speak, and Raito blanches.

"What did you do?" she looks around.

"One thing a time," the swordswoman repeats, "I'm Yaeyume Chidama. I kill monsters called Hollows, and I help lost spirits get to the afterlife before they turn into Hollows themselves. You're not crazy."

She nods toward the spare sword.

"And there may be an opening if you want to help. I'll tell you more if you do."

The rain starts to pick up, and Raito, processing one thing at a time, wonders when she dropped her umbrella.

**********************************

I apologize for nothing in these upcoming posts, I’ve been rewatching Bleach because I stopped when the Soul Society arc was originally airing and I’m all in. I’m writing more in the dub style where it’s given-surname and other bits that will be obvious in the future. Bleach d20 is an absolutely absurd module based on D&D 3.x and d20 Modern. Duelo Paraíso is an AU setting set basically whenever you want, I’m doing it recentish rather than when the original show or manga was set. I will detail the weird separate elements in future posts. I didn’t make up any of the fake Japanese-- thank you to fantasynamegenerators for that, since Tite Kubo made up all his names too and I am not confident in matching that aesthetic myself. Spanish thanks to google translate. In the appendix, Not Entirely Serious Things, there’s a little template called Main Character, which bumps up stats and doubles XP gain among other things, like a theme song, which just goes to show how serious these posts are gonna be, and it has been applied to Raito. Raito Kotsuzato, lvl 1 Smart Hero/lvl 1 Warrior Shinigami Str 10 Dex 16 Con 10 Int 17 Wis 14 Cha 15 HP 18 BAB +1 (+4 to hit w/zanpakuto) Def Bonus +6 (+4 base, +3 Dex, -1 Flaw) Fort +2 Ref +3 Will +2

Flaws: Vulnerable (-1 Def), Broke Feats: B Educated H Alive 1 Seasoned 2b Weapon Finesse Skills Knowledge Art 12 = 4+3+5 Research 9 = 4+3+2 Perform Sing 6 = 4+2 Knowledge Current Events 11 = 4+3+4 Knowledge Popular Culture 11 = 4+3+4 Craft: Visual Art 7 = 4+3 Search 7 = 4+3 Decipher Script 7 = 4+3 Knowledge Streetwise 11 = 4+3+4 Knowledge Tactics 11 = 4+3+4 Navigate 7 = 4+3 Knowledge Arcane Lore 11 = 4+3+4 Knowledge Negacion 5 = 1+3+1 Sense Motive 4 = 2+2 Jump 1 = 1+0+0 Balance 5 = 2+3 Tumble 5 = 2+3 Suppress Reiatsu 3 = 1+2 Class Abilities Talent: Savant (+1 Competence bonus to Research) Shinigami subtype Zanpakuto (1d6 damage, 19-20x2) Alternate form (zanpakuto took the form of a 16th century German rapier upon ownership) Note, the Educated feat as described in Bleach d20 gives an untyped bonus to knowledge skills equal to the ranks in that skill, so that’s why all of that looks nuts for a 2nd level character. Really, a lot of the weirdness is just Bleach d20.

#bleach #bleach rpg #bleach d20 #bleach ttrpg

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nickdelo · 7 years ago

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Top 25 Films of the 21st Century

Nick’s List

1. Boyhood (Linklater, 2014) 2. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (Gondry, 2004) 3. Before Sunset (Linklater, 2004) 4. In Bruges (McDonagh, 2008) 5. Children of Men (Cuaron, 2006) 6. There Will Be Blood (P.T. Anderson, 2007) 7. Inside Llewyn Davis (Ethan Coen, Joel Coen, 2013) 8. Before Midnight (Linklater, 2013) 9. The Master (P.T. Anderson, 2012) 10. The Social Network (Fincher, 2010) 11. In the Mood for Love (Kar-wai, 2000) 12. Nightcrawler (Gilroy, 2014) 13. Ex Machina (Garland, 2015) 14. Hell or High Water (Mackenzie, 2016) 15. Moonlight (Barry Jenkins, 2016) 16. Beasts of the Southern Wild (Zeitlin, 2012) 17. Catch Me If You Can (Spielberg, 2002) 18. The Hurt Locker (Bigelow, 2009) 19. The Departed (Scorses, 2006) 20. Short Term 12 (Cretton, 2013) 21. The Prestige (Nolan, 2006) 22. Mud (Nichols, 2013) 23. Y Tu Mama También (Cuaron, 2001) 24. Creed (Coogler, 2015) 25. Frances Ha (Baumbach, 2012)

John’s List 1. Gladiator (Scott, 2000) 2. Hot Fuzz (Wright, 2007) 3. Inside Llewyn Davis (Ethan Coen, Joel Coen, 2013) 4. Anchorman (McKay, 2004) 5. No Country for Old Men (Ethan Coen, Joel Coen, 2007) 6. Training Day (Fuqua, 2001) 7. Django Unchained (Tarantino, 2012) 8. There Will Be Blood (P.T. Anderson, 2007) 9. John Wick 2 (Stahelski, 2017) 10. Inside man (Lee, 2006) 11. Burn After Reading (Ethan Coen, Joel Coen, 2008) 12. American Psycho (Harron, 2000) 13. Gone Girl (Fincher, 2014) 14. Zoolander (Stiller, 2001) 15. Best in Show (Guest, 2000) 16. Nice Guys (Black, 2016) 17. Adaptation (Jonze, 2002) 18. Birdman (Inarritu, 2014) 19. Bernie (Linklater, 2011) 20. Sicario (Villeneuve, 2015) 21. The Master (P.T. Anderson, 2012) 22. The LEGO Movie (Lord and Miller, 2014) 23. Doubt (Shanley, 2008) 24. The Savages (Tamara Jenkins, 2008) 25. Silence (Scorsese, 2016)

ND: We've had this discussion a few times before: is there a difference between "best" and "favorite?" My initial reaction is no. We like what we like, for whatever reason you come to or criteria you choose, that's the grading scale, pure and simple.

The one glaring instance where the "best" and "favorite" line begins to blur is with the work of Richard Linklater, whose films are so emotionally vulnerable that they have effectively changed the way I see the world. In another filmmaker's hands, Boyhood would have been a showy gimmick, but Linklater understood what this project needed to be before shooting the first scene, allowing the deeply human nature of the film to unfold beautifully and organically. It deserves a spot on this list for innovation alone. Explain yourself, John!

JI: With a fear of being blocked from continuing this project, I must admit, I haven't seen Boyhood yet. That's is the plain and simple reason why it is not included on my list. Wish I had some lame, pretentious reason for its exclusion.

ND: I am happy to see you've somewhat made up for this oversight with the selection of other outstanding Linklater film, Bernie. It's a rare feat to so perfectly utilize two very specific actors (Jack Black and Matthew McConaughey). Walk me through your process a bit before we get into detail. JI: My process was pretty simple and I think you outlined it pretty well, I picked what I like. I could tell you why I picked each and every one of these movies individually but on the whole, you have to go with your gut and pick the movies you feel are the best to you. Also, as we have discussed previously, going into being best is staying power. There are a few movies I've only seen maybe once or twice but I still think of them to this day. Movies like Doubt and Silence are like that for me. I feel if a movie has that kind of power it is impossible to not include it on a "best" list. Please feel free to eviscerate me for not seeing Boyhood, I deserve it. ND: You have shamed me, son. Boyhood is on Netflix so you're running out of excuses. Though I am not without sin, having not seen Doubt.

JI: Huge misstep on my part, for many reasons but especially since I really enjoy Ethan Hawke. ND: My girlfriend will be relieved to know I am not the only one.

Anyway, film-going experiences that resonate with me long after I leave the theater always score the highest on my lists, as the director's ability to utilize all aspects of the medium plays a huge part in landing an emotional impact or gathering more information upon repeat viewings. So it's no surprise the Coen Bros., Paul Thomas Anderson, Alfonso Cauron, and David Fincher are prominently featured throughout our lists as masters of blending the cerebral with a cinematic spectacle. I should address the lack of comedies on my list (though In Bruges, Eternal Sunshine, Llewyn Davis, and Frances Ha are all loosely comedic). Don't get me wrong, there are few things better than laughing your ass off in a theater, but when applying the "re-watch" test to some of my all-time favorite comedies (Walk Hard, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, 21 Jump Street), the jokes, once tread, aren't good enough to lift the film to the highest class, considering the low bar for cinematography, acting and, most importantly, narrative. I may be in the minority here, but these movies are largely fleeting experiences as I grow older. What are your insights into your comedic selections? I wouldn't classify Hot Fuzz as a strict comedy considering the high-wire act Edgar Wright always pulls off, nor Best in Show, a borderline Shakespearean experience with levels of complexity to the jokes. Anchorman is clearly a classic, and you obviously believe it has aged well. Zoolander, though, I'll need some convincing. JI: I think I largely agree with your take on comedies in regards to putting them on a best list but in terms of rewatchability I'm not sure I agree as much. Of course there are comedies that don't stand the test of time, Borat chief among them, but for the most part I feel great comedies stay funny no matter how many times you've heard the jokes. Addressing your second point about the two straight up comedies, Anchorman and Zoolander, there is a level of comfort and familiarity with those two. I'm not confident they actually do still hold up but since I saw them at the time I did I think they still hold that spot for me, if that makes any sense. A perfect example of being weary of their relevance now is the fact I haven't and never plan on seeing either sequel. On Zoolander specifically, I saw it in theaters and hated it but every subsequent viewing I've enjoyed it more and more and no matter how many times I've seen it there are still lines that crack me up. Not sure if that does anything to convince you but it just strikes a cord for me and I can't really explain it but seeing it when it came out in 2001 rather than today is a big part of that.

About the other two, I just think they're great movies that happen to be really funny. Hot Fuzz is the perfect send up of the types of movies Nick Frost's character loves. The performances are great, I particularly love Timothy Dalton's character, there are impressive action sequences and I really relish all the cameos in the beginning between Martin Freeman, Steve Coogan and Cate Blanchett. Not sure if this is a hot take, but it is the best movie from the Frost, Pegg, Wright trio. Best in Show gives such a realistic feeling to such absurd characters in an equally absurd premise. It is funny throughout without seeming cartoonish despite the cartoonish nature of the characters, like Eugene Levy's character and his two left feet. I haven't seen all of your films but one that I'm curious about and especially its place on the list is The Social Network. I liked it but my thoughts don't really seem to align with many people's on the quality of the movie. What standout so much for you with that movie that it is in your top 10?

ND: The Social Network opens with one of the most captivating scenes in recent memory. There's nothing to it -- two college kids are in a bar chatting across from one another, and eventually the girl breaks up with the guy. It's been done a thousand times before, but the way it's staged and written and performed is nothing short of memorizing. In five minutes of shot/reserve-shot dialogue we learn everything we need to know about Jesse Eisenberg's portrayal of Mark Zuckerberg -- how he's wired and what his motivations are. The scene is jammed with more character development that most movies can manage in their entire run-times, and when the fervently escalating discussion culminates in Rooney Mara's Becca telling Mark, "you're going to go through life thinking that girls don't like you because you're a nerd, and I want you to know, from the bottom of my heart, that that won't be true. It'll be because you're an asshole," it hits you like a freight train.

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That scene sets the stage for the whole movie, a rudimentary premise turned thrilling through the artful design of David Fincher. There's a perfect cross-section of seedy Ivy League ritual and lure, the dangerous hubris of a brilliant, spiteful teenager, and the lustful excitement of an unknown frontier. Fincher made a movie about Facebook -- FACEBOOK! -- a pulse-pounding high-wire act, which is miraculous.

I'd like to hear more about your no. 1 selection, Gladiator. It's unlike any other movie on your list, both in terms of genre and style. What about it has made such a lasting impression?

JI: Gladiator is definitely one that even I didn't expect to be number one when I started out doing this. The first thing that made such an impression is that my dad took my to see it in the theater, I was about two months away from turning eight, so seeing such a violent movie in the theater was a big deal. (Questionable parenting? The world may never know). Beyond that though it is insanely re-watchable for me. I watched it twice over memorial day weekend! In terms of the movie itself, the action scenes are incredible, the performances from Crowe and Phoenix are really solid. Crowe is a little one-note throughout but I think he fluctuates that one note just enough to create a sympathetic hero and somewhat rounded character and Phoenix is always great as the weirdo bad guy. Has he ever not been really good in anything? There are definitely flaws with the movie, so it isn't number one because it is a flawless piece of art, but I find it to be highly entertaining (yes, I was entertained Maximus) and something you can always watch. I feel like this hasn't be a very articulate breakdown as to why, but it is just kind of a gut call.

ND: Shame on you for spoiling my "Are you not entertained?" joke.

JI: Not including the comedies, is this the pick you have the biggest issue (if that's even the right word) with? Also, were there any movies for you that surprised you where you ended up slotting them, similar to my experience here with Gladiator?

ND: I don't want to be misunderstood. I don't have a problem with any of your picks; art is a very personal thing and who am I to judge how you or anyone else creates a criteria for greatness? I'm just trying to pick your brain a little bit. I will admit to having never seen Training Day. And I thought No Country for Old Men was underwhelming -- though I know I am in the vast minority and it might have been a case of the film being so hyped that I was predisposed to be disappointed.

JI: I wasn't trying to imply that you had a problem with any pick, that's why I hedged and said I don't think issue was the right word to use. No Country's ending falls a little flat but up until that point I find Javier Bardem too magnetic to be disappointed on the whole.

ND: In regards to the ordering, there were no surprises in the top 10. I'm sure on a different day Eternal Sunshine or Before Sunset or even In Bruges could have been no. 1, but I didn't overthink it with Boyhood (watched it again this weekend) and it's not worth splitting hairs over my best of the best.

I guess the biggest surprise is In the Mood for Love at no. 11, as I hadn't seen it until about a year ago. It's right up my ally in terms of a deeply melancholy romance story, chock full of utter beauty and heartbreak weaved together so seamlessly. It's a quiet film that speaks volumes in its slow, calculated moments. Recalling my The Social Network, Boyhood, et al picks, I am always impressed when filmmakers take a simple premise and do something inventive with it, and Wong Kar-wai brutally precise decisions are marvelous.

Quick side bar: I learned about In the Mood for Love on CineFix, a YouTube channel that creates incredibly detailed and researched lists. It's a must-subscribe for any film buff.

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The next biggest surprise is Catch Me If You Can. It's decidedly unlike all my other selections, and very Spielbergian (not always a good thing), but god damn, that movie is just so much fun. It's a perfect caper, plain and simple.

JI: I was curious about your inclusion of Catch Me if You Can, because as you said it is so unlike any other movie on your list. Spielberg has been a little hit or miss since the turn of the century, good thing he's producing Gremlins 3. ND: I didn't want us to devote any space for honorable mention selections in order to make the 25 mean something, but I'm changing my tune a little bit. Give me ONE movie that hurt the most to leave off. I really wanted to find a spot for Wall-E. That movie blows my mind. JI: My original number 25 was going to be the documentary Let the Fire Burn. Probably a way out there choice considering the rest of my list. It is about MOVE in Philadelphia and what ultimately transpired when Mayor Goode effectively bombed the house that MOVE was in. Not sure if you've seen it but I loved how they used all archival footage to tell the story. There is no narration and from I remember very little on-screen text. The documentary plays out telling the cohesive story of MOVE and then the aftermath and fallout following all the destruction. It also features councilman Ed Rendell, which might be a nice easter egg for some. It also does a great job of bringing to light a story that even in Philadelphia isn't really talked about or told anymore and gives full context to both the MOVE members and the city.

ND: I actually just watched Let the Fire Burn not too long ago. I took a deep dive into the MOVE bombing earlier this year, absorbing as much about it as I could, because you're right, it goes largely un-talked about considering what a bonkers story it was (though just this week the city commemorated the event and the lives lost with a monument). And I definitely appreciate a documentary that is driven by facts and not an agenda. I'm surprised to see we only have three overlapping selections -- The Master, Inside Llewyn Davis, and There Will Be Blood. The former two we talked about in depth during our last collaboration, but let's discuss TWBB for a second, especially now that Daniel Day-Lewis is "retired." Even for a career as illustrious as DDL's, his turn as Daniel Plainview by far his crowning achievement, and I'd put it toe-to-toe with any performance ever put on screen. He carries every frame with such menace, vigor, and even surprising vulnerability that makes the viewer sympathize with a terrible man. It's unlike anything I've ever seen.

JI: I haven't watched it all the way through in a while but I find myself often YouTubing scenes just to inject more DDL straight into my veins. The only other character that has been so outright horrible, vindictive while retaining vulnerability and a likability to me was Gandolfini as Tony Soprano. However, that is comparing apples and oranges, with an 86 episode series compared to a single feature.

Back to DDL in TWBB. His Plainview is such a transformation that anytime I see the movie or see clips my brain doesn't even compute that DDL is Plainview. He truly takes on his characters and becomes them and it is incredible in the way he has been able to transform himself through his various roles. I can see why the say it takes him about three or so years to mentally prepare for a role. It is hard to imagine anyone ever topping his absolute mastery of the art.

Two questions about DDL I'd like to pose for you. 1) Do you think the retirement will stick? He has done this before where he took time off to be a cobble. Now he is supposedly retiring to become a dressmaker. I think he'll eventually make his way back to the screen. 2) This is more of a thought exercise than a black or white question but should we be grateful for the few performances he did produce and how outstanding those are or should we be disappointed we only got so little of him during his career? It is a little disappointing to me but the other side of the argument is that maybe his performances would have suffered if he took on more projects and didn't throw himself in fully as he did. ND: The answer to your first question is simple: no. Maybe at this very moment, DDL thinks that he's done all there is to do on screen, and considering he already-selective process, I bet this sabbatical lasts less than 7-8 years. But he will come back. DDL knows he's the best, and he will get that itch again once he reaches senior citizenry. And he's spent his entire adult life getting lost in other people that I'm not even sure he knows how to be himself. The more interesting question would be: what do you want his big comeback role to be? This is a hard question that I wasn't exactly prepared for, but we are so used to seeing him in these larger-than-life roles that I wouldn't his coming back in a simple, humanistic family drama. Mike Mills (Beginners, 20th Century Women) has the goods to write him a juicy role, but even more perfect would be Kenneth Lonergan (Manchester By the Sea). Holy shit, I want to see nothing more now. The second question is a bit more complex, because it was undoubtedly frustrating for DDL to take his good old time selecting only to leave us with Nine or The Ballad of Jake and Rose, but even in subpar movies (I didn't enjoy Lincoln, either), DDL always makes it worth watching, so his batting average, so to speak, is still remarkably high. If he were to have taken more roles along the way, could he have given us a few more classics? Probably, but more likely is he would have given us more disappointments. Look at De Niro and Pacino. The two have combined for dozens of duds in the past 20 years to only a handful of good roles. If the alternative to DDL's selectivity is Dirty Grandpa, Stand Up Guys, The Intern, Jack and Jill, etc., I'll take the former every time. JI: I think I'd like to see him comeback and do something totally unexpected. How fun would it be if he was in a comedy or a Tarantino movie? I'd love to see what he could do in something that is so very much outside his realm, without stepping into Jack and Jill territory like you mentioned previously.

This is slightly (very) off topic, but since you mention De Niro and Pacino, you think they can turn their cold streaks around with Marty in The Irishman?

ND: I mean, if anyone's going to bring those two back from the dead, it's Scorsese. He has more than earned our trust at this point. I'd be lying if if wasn't a tiny bit worried about Marty going back to the gangster well -- and god forbid he ever cast a woman or a PoC -- but if it ain't broke, I guess.

Let’s leave it here since we’ve covered a lot. Though if you want to return with a deep dive on the John Wick 2 > John Wick decision, I’ll be here waiting.

#my writing #movies #film #top 25

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makaelanoelle · 4 years ago

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Blog Entry #1:

I think I was born an artist. Although, to say “I think” feels like an understatement. I know for sure that I was born to make art. To create. To make. I didn’t know for sure when I was a young child, but the urge to create has always been there. As a child, fulfilling that urge to be spontaneous and create things seemed easier. There were no second thoughts. I didn’t have to plan out a project, I didn’t have to make a supply list, I didn’t have to consult with another artist to see if my idea was too insane or just insane enough. The need to make art was met within moments of having an idea. As I got older, being an artist became more about how to use art to make a living, not about fulfilling that growing urge inside me. I was fortunate enough to be raised in a house where following your own path was encouraged, my parents never made me feel like it wasn’t worth my time. In fact, my earliest memories of my family are times where my dad always had a camera in his hand, documenting his life and recording everything we did. That’s where it all started for me. I was fascinated by how much joy it brought him to film everything. I could rewatch my childhood in an hour & fifteen minutes and retrieve memories that I no longer had in my head, from a scratch disk in his basement.

While I enjoyed the real life examples of artists in my life, nothing could compare to the inspiration I got from watching my favorite stories on screen. See, as a kid, I was pretty much obsessed with The Twilight Zone. So much so, that for a 7th grade writing assignment, I created a script for my own episode of The Twilight Zone. The stories they told were absurd, fantastical, and eerie. Yet, no matter how insane the episode was, they always found a way to connect it to the real world, in this dimension. Those are the stories I want to tell through my work, but haven’t yet found the right way to do so.

As an artist, i’m in a constant struggle between what I want to be, and what I think I should be. I feel this invisible pressure to label who I am and what I want to do for the rest of my life. After I finish editing a photo from a commissioned shoot, I find myself labeling my profession as “a photographer.” On the other end, when I finish editing a photo that came from me, one that I planned for hours obsessing over every detail— I call myself a “fine artist.” I haven’t figured out why there’s a difference.

I’ve always believed that I was meant to share my art with the world. I wanted to make people LOOK at me because I was so reclusive as a child. Then, after coming out as queer, I began stifling myself by not expressing that queerness to the fullest extend in my art. Having a father that is not fully supportive of me being queer, I feel the need to leave room for his approval in my work. “You can subtly make it gay, but not too much or else you can’t show anyone in the family.” It’s a constant struggle I face, and it shows in my work.

This kind of thinking often leads me to the inevitable question: what’s the point? Why am I doing this? Why do I spend so much time (and money) on projects that don’t fully express what I believe in or who I am? I wish I had a definite answer. Is it better for me to make art that I enjoy, but isn’t 100% me, or make nothing at all?

I often think about what my purpose is as an artist.

I believe that artists were put on this earth to make it beautiful, to make it better. I believe artists have the power to enact real change in the world because we force people to question what they know and view their environments differently. I so desperately want to believe that my purpose as an artist is to create beautiful images that challenge the norm and makes people think critically about their surroundings. I am inspired by artists who tap into the hearts of their viewers and make big statements in so little words. I am also inspired by images that are just compositionally so beautiful that it makes you pause and remember how precious life can be, and because of quarantine, I have been forced to consume art at an even higher rate than normal. It’s all I do, from the moment I wake up to the moment I close my eyes. This overload can sometimes feel overwhelming, as I feel like I haven’t done enough to make art while surviving a pandemic. It sometimes makes me feel like I am not a real artist, but whenever I pick up my pencil and write down a new photo idea, or sketch out a a design on procreate, I remember that an artist who isn’t constantly creating, but is constantly imagining, is just as valid as the first.

In our current political climate, the role of the artist is the role of the revolutionary. Being an artist is an act of defiance. Being a creative individual under an oppressive, capitalist government is a protest in and of itself. In 2020, a public protest is the new gallery exhibition. Signs, music, video, photography— all have become tools for activism and demanding change. I find myself wondering every day if my artwork is doing enough to drive change. There are days where I switch from doing photography & collage work, to graphic design and digital art as a way to experiment with my political voice. I’ll often question my motives for making certain pieces and wonder if I am creating protest art out of obligation as an artist, or as a normal human person with a deep sense of empathy. I’m starting to believe they are not separate concepts. Being a compassionate person makes me a better artist and vice versa.

#blog entry #senior studio

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swimintothesound · 7 years ago

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Artistic Integrity and Commercial Success | Part 3

This is the third (and most negative) installment in a series of four posts on the same topic. This was originally intended to be the last, but I wrote more than I expected, and I wanted to end on a more positive note. View the first post here the second one here, and expect one more wrap-up coming soon.

The New Scott

Before I fully dive into Travis Scott, I feel like it’s important to give some personal context. I can’t decide if that’s because I think memories are important, or because I’m retroactively embarrassed at my own fandom given recent developments, but either way, here’s a quick rundown:

As previously discussed, Trav has released some of my favorite hip-hop albums of the past few years. His 2015 debut Rodeo is one of my all-time favorites, and one of the handful of albums released that year that made me “believe” in hip-hop as a genre. That’s a powerful notion. And even if the album has some wack bars, it’s production, aesthetic, and sonic approach are all so impeccable that I’m willing to overlook a handful of goofy lyrics.

As great as Rodeo is, it (and Travis Scott as an entity) are prime examples of style over substance. And don’t get me wrong, there are some legitimately great songs on this album, but as a whole, Rodeo undeniably relies on textures and production to make up for its lyrical shortcomings. I’ve already made it clear that I don’t think lyrics are music’s end all be all (even for hip-hop), but I can totally see how someone approaching this album from a traditional rap mindset could leave Rodeo disappointed if they came in looking for clever writing.

But this is all me preemptively addressing valid criticism. I personally think that every track on Rodeo is great for one reason or another, and my positive memories associated with the album are more powerful than any objectivity I can ever offer up. In fact, I loved Rodeo so much that the next summer I ventured further back into Scott’s discography and found myself spinning his prior release Days Before Rodeo. I listened to the mixtape more times than I ever would have expected, and it ended up becoming my second-most played album of 2016 and currently sits at my 7th most played album of all time on last.fm. So yeah. I like that album quite a bit too.

Many of the same criticisms of Rodeo could also be applied to Days Before, but (again) I’m willing to overlook those shortcomings for the overall experience of the tape. So as I ravenously devoured these two albums I found myself rapidly advancing up the next step of my obsessive fandom staircase. I collected everything Travis-related that I could get my hands on. From tracking his features to obsessively compiling my own B-sides album it was safe to say I was in full-on hype mode.

Now is when crushing reality sets in. I’ve already linked to this reddit comment detailing the history of Travis’ broken promises in the lead-up to his second album, but I think it bears repeating. Delays and false release dates are nothing new for Travis, but this timeline highlights the absurdity of this particular album’s cycle. As someone following Travis very closely at this time, it was disheartening to have nearly weekly promises that ended up broken and eclipsed by yet another revised “announcement” the following week.

Things began to look up in June of 2016 when Travis dropped the Young Thug and Quavo-infused “Pick up The Phone.” Already a known quantity for months at that point, and fraught with last-minute legal troubles, it was a relief simply to have a fresh Travis song. I won’t get too deep into it here, but PUTP was one of my favorite songs last year and more recently has gone on to become my most listened to track of all time on last.fm within a year. It’s a breezy, ad lib-riddled summer banger. The syrupy bass line filled with intermittent 808 taps and distorted steel drums combines into a drugged-out soundscape that serves as the perfect backdrop for the three artists sharing the track.

“Pick up the Phone” felt like a positive sign to me. I couldn’t stop playing it, and it became my summer anthem within a matter of weeks. If this is the type of stuff Travis had in store for us on his next album, then maybe all the delays will have been worth it. And according to Travis, all his singles and loosies up to this point weren’t even on the album, because he wanted to give listeners a ‘fresh experience’ on their first listen. So if “Pick Up The Phone” wasn’t even good enough to make the cut, then I was officially hyped.

Travis followed that single up weeks later with a small feature on G.O.O.D. Music’s “Champions” another summer anthem that celebrates the return of Gucci Mane and showcased a rotating cast of hip-hop’s current stars and up-and-comers. Champions specifically brings to mind memories of my graduation which happened around the time of its release. In fact, my nostalgia for this track is so strong that I’ve even downloaded the version ripped from the radio because the drops evoke waves of nostalgia in me. I still remember sitting underneath Portland’s Moda Center in a cap and gown surrounded by friends and checking my phone in between conversations to see the explicit version of the track had been officially released. This comment thread specifically made me laugh so much that I still have the screencap of it saved in my phone.

But I’m getting horrifically off-topic. All signs were pointing towards a great release as Trav continued to promote his upcoming album. As mentioned above, the lead up to Birds was essentially a weekly string of broken promises and unfulfilled blue balls. And I get that it’s selfish to “expect” an album, but when you repeatedly say ‘my album is coming out in X days’ or “tonight” I’ll start to get pissed after the third or fourth time.

In early August Trav ended up droppings two loosies on his Apple Radio show: “The Hooch” and “Black Mass” they were both cool… but I was glad they were just loosies he was tossing off on his radio show. Weeks later, September 2nd he finally dropped his sophomore album Birds in the Trap Sing Mcknight.

I remember I was on vacation at the time and without a music streaming service. It agonized me that I couldn’t listen to the album until I got home. All I could do was enjoy my vacation *shudders* and read comments online.

They were exceedingly negative.

How could this be? I’d seen this happen before. In some ways I was glad. Whenever the internet mob preemptively lowers my expectations like this, I’d come out the other side enjoying what they were bitching about far more than I would have otherwise (see: Mass Effect 3, and Chance the Rapper’s Coloring Book.) But I saw the bright side. I knew that when I did get back home and sit down to listen to the album, I should lower my expectations. If your expectations are low enough anything can exceed them, right?

Right?

The Problem With Birds

Birds In the Trap feels like drab, dark, and lifeless background music. That’s not to say I don’t like dark albums, there’s a time and place for them… but it just feels so incomplete and half-hearted here. Birds is devoid of life. It is (intentionally?) poorly mixed, lacking of substance, and the album art looks like an edgy Myspace background circa 2006. Look. I’m not saying Rodeo was high art or that it even had anything new to say, but it’s far more substantive than Birds ever tries to be. What Rodeo brought to the table was a metric fuckton of different ideas and sounds that were all produced impeccably. It commands attention and each track sounds different from the last. We ended up with the polar opposite on Birds.

As a person that talks about music, it feels like a cop-out to just link to someone else’s review, but The Needle Drop’s dissection of Birds is a pretty spot-on breakdown of what feels wrong with the album. Going back to the idea of an album’s substance, Birds feels like the album equivalent of an item off the McDonald’s Value Menu. It’s about the lowest of the low (even for fast food) but it still qualifies as “food” on a technical level.

At the risk of making a horrific pivot (or just to take a break from negativity), check out this video about True Detective. If you can’t watch all eleven minutes skip straight to 2:40 and watch the section on Rogue One. I can’t tell if this is a hyper-specific example, a universal one, or just something that I’m trying to crowbar in because I’m in the mood to rewatch True Detective, but this video felt oddly poignant. Specifically, the line “when the plot is motivated by a writer or director's aesthetic needs instead of character motivation, something just inevitably feels missing.” To me, this describes Birds to a tee.

As mentioned ad nauseam, I do not go to Travis Scott for hyper-lyrical bars, so I didn’t expect that from Birds. What I did expect was thick production, varied textures, and (at the very least) some competent song structure. I ended up receiving very little of anything. It felt like Travis was chasing some aesthetic desire and forwent anything else that made his work interesting previously. And don't get me wrong, I like some songs off of Birds, but in the year since its release, I’ve realized that it has become symbolic of him not trying.

The single standout from Birds is “Goosebumps” a Kendrick Lamar-collab with a drowsy bloop-filled beat accompanied by one of the most infectious hooks I’ve heard since “Pick up the Phone.” And speaking of “Pick up the Phone” the song ended up on the album. This is after Trav promised that Birds would be “all new material.” After he had already released the song three months prior in June. After it had already been included on Young Thug’s JEFFERY as a bonus track in August. Similarly, the sparkly weekend collab “Wonderful” ended up on Birds as the album’s closer after having already been released as a Soundcloud throwaway at the end of 2015. And that was the album’s closing track.

The whole thing just left a bad taste in my mouth. Alongside these repurposed tracks were songs like “SDP Interlude” that just come off as half-finished, under-developed scraps of songs that Travis just decided to toss onto the album. It was underwhelming in every sense of the word and didn’t clear my already-low expectations. But maybe this was just a sophomore slump. A byproduct of constant touring combined with the monumental task of following up an excellent predecessor.

This is truly my hope, but with each new piece of music emerging from Travis’ camp, I become less and less hopeful in a return to form anytime soon. I’ll dive deeper into my thoughts on Travis Scott’s current output and future in the fourth and final post coming very soon.

Read Part 4 Here

#travis scott #birds #birds in the trap #birds in the trap sing mcknight #rap #hip-hop #music #tunes #young thug

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