#the lights off themselves??? Idk maybe I rly did leave the lights on and this is a weird paranoia I'm having

[doberrrman]

I have this feeling that I have unofficial beef with my neighbor...

[heartofdepth]

genre: angst

pairings: xiao x gender neutral!reader

tags: ambiguous past relationship, abuse mention, death mention, murder, war, intended romantic but can be read as platonic, contains xiao from 2000 years ago when he was still forced to do the evil god’s biddings, this fic assumes that all gods during the war had a gnosis instead of only the seven current archons having them, for clarification reader in this fic is made up of dreams bc they’re the god of dreams, heavily inspired by various songs, italicized sentences are song lyrics but take your guess whether it’s reader or xiao saying them, lowkey cannibalism just in case idk, the evil god rly do b fucked up

word count: 5.27k

summary: sleep, and by morning, the dreams will have disappeared

“What is it like inside your dreams? Am I there? Are you there?”

The moon is red tonight. He’d heard a fuss from astrologers and historians alike who’d come buzzing to Wangshu Inn for the good rooms and high ground. To Xiao, tonight is simply another night of terrors plaguing him; it’s all the same, tonight is no different－ but this time, you’re there and it’s all changed. Having finished his foreseeable battles for the night, all that lies ahead is the turmoil the ghosts of the past refuse to see him off on. 

A lunar eclipse. The moon, looking as if it had swallowed the sun, causing it to shine vermillion and he can’t help but think of you and himself.

The darkness did nothing but leave only Xiao behind. Tainted but not fully taken, unable to step into the light, someone who will only ever live by the border of bloodstained gloom, the yaksha had been robbed of even the ability to dream. A curse, your curse and he can think of no better punishment for his crimes against you.

“Because I do not dream, nightmares during slumber mean nothing to me. It is my every waking hour, that they come to me.”

As the god of dreams, you always had your head in the clouds. Unable to even see what was precious to you, you spent your days ignorant to your people, to even him, the bloodhound of the evil god, the killer of divinity and damned alike. You were like a harmless butterfly flitting through the great Archon war, with the ability to ruin countless with your powers but contented to stay on your lofty, lonesome throne. He’s tried reasoning with himself, someone would have made a hit on you sooner or later to secure their own safety. Someone would have argued you were a useless god interested in only themselves, and they would have cut you down as easily as they would have forgotten what they dreamed about in the morning past.

“I don’t live strongly enough to shoulder sadness, so I liked the darkness, as I had nowhere to run.”

He told himself it was better off that it had been him the task had fallen unto, choosing to ignore the possibility that if, had his captor had not pointed for your head, you could very well have lived.

“I am not strong enough to speak of kindness, so I liked the darkness, as it erases even dreams.”

Being what you were, your body was made up of the soft, sweet silkiness of the dreams you ruled over, that he can only hope to taste again in almond tofu; yakshas viewed you in a good light, and had constantly prayed to you for a good bounty of dreams to consume. Seeing no missed opportunity to destroy Xiao and all he once held to his heart, the evil god had forced Xiao to eat away at you, until all that was left of you was the core of your being; your gnosis and your parting words, the curse inlaid into the marrow of his bones,

“Your dream to survive and my dream to live. As beautifully simple your wish is, may you only ever wander the darkness where no dreamscape would dare bloom in.”

It had been a while since he had felt ill will towards or from your curse; it had at some point become like a responsibility to him, something that was a mundane daily chore to shoulder. Perhaps, he dared to think, to hope, that your ire had withdrawn over the thousands years past. Perhaps, he rationalizes, he’s just desensitized to the lasting absence of dreams, yet the ever present presence of you.

Yet with the wrath of the gods he’s slain, still stirring in their half dreaming state, Xiao knows you’re responsible for any uprisings they cause. The manifestation of you strengthens what drives them back into the realm of the living, whether you intend it or not. He sees you in front of him now, on the highest floor of the inn, shining crimson, sadness and pain in the blood moon with the ichor he’s left on you, a reminder he will always be and will one day fade away as nothing more than a bloodstained soul.

“In my dreams, there is nothing. All that remains is emptiness.”

Gazing upon you, the guilt he thought he’d buried away and grown numb to what lay six feet under resurfaces to the brim of his throat- he thought he’d already forgotten his sadness, so why is it so painful to behold the moon in his overflowing eyes?

There was nothing he could have wished for in his days as a prisoner, but in the moment of your dying breaths, Xiao had one clear desire to spare you mercy, no matter the cost－ choosing instead to shatter and hurl your gnosis towards the moon and simply await the beating his master would rain down upon him. Now, trudging back to where he’d painstakingly tracked the location, he comes upon your core once more, in the form of you－ physically manifested again in your eternal slumber.

You unconsciously grasp your gnosis with a worrying lightness like you had never feared being separated from it in the first place. Xiao wonders vaguely, what sort of dream you might be having. One where he had never triumphed against you, perhaps. One where, maybe, he had happily been by your side, if he could so wish.

“Are you happy when you dream? Are dreams necessary for you and I?”

His hand trembles as his heart wavers, gently grasping your soft hand as if it were the single, sole dream he will have seen in his life and, tasting the beautiful aroma of the dreams that make up you, he tightens his grip and brings down his spear.

“I loved you...”

[wardencathiel]

EXILE

Name/gender/appearance/favorite hobby?

opele (pr. “opal”) endac! she goes by just Oh or Elle, if not just her first name. shes a cis girl, and tbh she mostly just looks like lucy liu cuz i got a big fat crush on her and i picked the east asian icon for her. she has a short bob haircut tho, and lean but muscular build, and is in her late 30s. her hobbies are like.. being active and running and stuff like that lol she also likes doing mindless work with her hands so lots of like tinkering with anything, like electronics or mechanical stuff.

Where are they from? Where are they going?

probably nowhere important, and she was too young to remember any part of it, parents included. a no name planet somewhere with a steady but boring colony. where shes going is a lot more interesting since she knows where revan might be.. i think she would really want to go find her and help her with whatever the war is but she would be lying to herself if she didn’t realize she formed a huge attachment to atton. she loves him dearly and it would be really hard to leave him.. if anything, i think the most realistic thing is that she and him went and settled somewhere, keep their heads low, and just live life. shes a tired bitch ok. mb one day she’ll go and find rev but rn she wants to chill.

What did they do to occupy themselves between the Mandalorian Wars and waking up on Peragus?

absolutely nothing. she spent a lot of time during her time cut off from the force just going thru the motions. if anyone noticed she was different or recognized her for whatever reason, she would pack up and leave. a large chunk of her time was spent trying not to form any social bonds, and any time she would start getting to know someone she would bolt. just overall a rly lonely and sad existence. she would work odd jobs and just generally be a shell of her former self.

What was their relationship with Revan like?

well i already sort of answered this in revs but. there was the intimidation cause revan is well............scary lol they are probably close in age so they grew up together in the temple. it was never anything more than a passing interest until the wars and then they sort of? hit it off? in that weird way where u both went thru that conflict together. obviously there was a bond since opeles force issues, but it was more on revans side than opeles. she was mostly just trying to win the war. tldr they liked each other but not as much as revan likes opele.

What was their relationship with Atris like?

well she had no clue atris had feelings for her so their relationship never went past a cold formality... opele thought atris hated her, so she stayed away from her when she could. she wasn’t the type to confront her about it so she just didn’t.

With Kreia?

lot to unpack here lol i think my exile wanted to trust her so badly but like... she knew she wasnt good. i think there was a lot of using, from both sides. kreia wanted to use the exile for obvs. reasons, and my exile wanted to use kreia to relearn all that she had lost during her exile. i do think, though, that kreia probably felt more towards opele than the other way around. like there was definitely like an attachment but... she always knew not to get too close, no matter how much she wished she could. overall i think it was an uneasy relationship, lots of tension but much more learning from one another.

Did they travel with both Mical and Brianna, or only one?

just mical cause i forgot to install the mod, unless there was a way u could w/o the mod?? either way yeah lmao just mical.

Do they regret what they did in the Wars?

part of her always will but she wouldn’t change what she did because she believes that it was necessary. shes... guilty but not very regretful.

How traumatized were they by the visions on Korriban? (Personally, I cried and screamed, but I’m not exactly as tough as a Jedi. I’m probably not even as tough as C-3P0.)

LIKE... personally i was fucked up about it but my exile did pretty well despite the circumstances. she also knew that there was a part of it all that was just visions, wasn’t real, but there is also that very real dark energy gained from not dealing with the visions correctly. she failed some, and won in others, which i think the specifics of really defined her well as a character. she failed the first one- where she was being recruited for the war. she also failed the one where her entire crew was going against kreia, and outright refused to participate and got the whole apathy spiel. she “survived” the rest though, and defeated revan which i think rly ties in well with her almost like? using the dark side? but not falling to it.

Is there romance in their lives?

i’d like to think during their time in the game, there isn’t anything more than an inkling. i luv atton to bits and so does she lol but i think a lot of their romantic stuff is left for after the game- especially with that ending where he’s there waiting for her after kreia and is like so where to next ;w; but before that it is mostly just skirting around the issue. a very slow burn fic lol. i do think she thought about the disciple but he was so much younger than her and it was such a puppy love, it was just like well that dudes in love with me i guess. obvs. nothing before that since she was jedi/exiled

Light side or dark side?

light side, but she was very close to being a grey jedi by the end of it. definitely lighter than my revan post-game tho

How do they feel about the Jedi Order?

there is always going to be that element of betrayal because of what they withheld from her and what they did to her irt her loss of the force for some time. but honestly... she was done with them the moment they didn’t do anything to stop the war. she respected their judgement and teachings but she never considered herself a jedi after they kicked her out, and she never will again. she also thinks they got a lot of it wrong- and that a lot of what kreia said made sense, up until a point.

What happens to them after the game? Do they ever find Revan? Do they ever reconnect to the Force?

i sorta answered this one up there too but basically she stays with atton and just . rly wants to stay put and have a normal life but in the end.. i think she would go to find revan. i also think she would take atton with her, against her better judgement. as for reconnecting tbh? i think it stays how it is with her, where she can use it but there is something there thats fucked up, not right. maybe she tries to figure that out and travels around with atton to get some answers before going to help rev.

BONUS: What do you think happens to all the party members post game?

HMN GOD well i think bao dur got the short end of the stick since hes super unfinished but i think he would definitely go with them until opele is like dude i love u so much but u gotta find ur own way that doesnt involve me. she would have to put distance between them, despite the pain it would cause both of them since they were like... best fucken friends. for everyone else i think, they go their separate ways much quicker than him. they stay in touch cause opele loves them all but she knows its better to keep them away from her because of her force shit. i think miras and the disciples “endings” are pretty good even with the openishness. canderous goes back to do mandalore stuff but stays in touch as well. honestly i dont have a clue about goto and neither does the exile lmao t3, of course, stays with her and atton. hk runs off and does bounty hunter stuff. idk i mostly think about bao dur in this cuz i love him and he deserved better

[kendrixtermina]

Baby Reacts to the Latest Steven Bomb

SPOILERS

So apparently we’re getting the obligatory beakup/ couples-first-argument storyline

It seems to me that Steven’s optimism and rose tinged glasses are being adressed as a character flaw... and let me tell ya, it IS, or at least can be no matter how  much our current society worships “positivity”. A person who wants to pretend their problems dont exist isnt always inclined to see yours, even if they are otherwise a generous and nice person. 

my mother has this particular flaw and while i love her to bits (after all there are no perfect humans),this has at times very frustrating for my sisters and I.

and ohhh political unrest!

MODERN political unrest as in how it is changed by internets & stuff

there were certainly some analyzeable lines in there

who knew granny pizza gave such good speeches?

a lesser show would just have pulled a new character out of their sleeves instead of grabbing a random sensible cast member wth some leadership ability 

aww steven not everything is your fault

thats one way to end the episode...

ep 2

im not surprised that Lapis wants to bail after all she’s been through but i expected more of a reaction from peridot like wasn’t she resolved to protect the earth join the rebellion and stick it to the diamonds? 

i mean i was never among the ones who claimed she had been sillyfied but if this doesn’t get mentioned later imma be upset this was THE opportunity for conflict/character nteraction/ serious content here

Ohh OHH I take it all back I see where this is going

She does actually want to help the rebellion, but her “follower” tendencies wouldn’t completely go away because shes in a new situation and she may have been a tad overwhelme finding herself caring for someone who was recovering from so much punishment so she’s walking on eggshells around lapis now

Onions Onions lol

So they’re playing off the expectation that they’re this comey duo now but subverting it

In the end they did stay true to Peridot’s character here like of COURSE she wants to stay and fight everything weve seen from her so far would suggest it

aww poor bby the thing with ddoing the right thing is there’s not always a reward

Is that a sort of relationship deconstruction, conclusion? I may need to rewatch things & see if there was always a tedency for ‘Dot to accomodate Lapis perhaps by acting all silly, i mean they were abvle to have at least silly arguments in “the crsytal temps”

I emphasize with Peridot here I mean when you’re less affected and the other person went through something you couldn’t imagine and someone ~should~ be there to help them your own concerns start looking insignificant

Also she may feel some residual guilt for kind of dragging Lapis into this...

Then again having ‘Dot in the temple may mean more screentme especially as the Diamond’s arrival drawn nearer

Again the contrast here is interesting - Peridot is much weaker in terms of powers but has a personality suitable to fighting whereas Lapis for all her power is just plain terrified

So far the eps have been meaty enouh compared to the long stretch of calm-before-the-storm town episodes we’ve had but they haven’t even talked-over the big developements of the last bomb or the very promising trailer clips with Greg, Pearl and the others. 

Indeed, distinct lack of Garnet, Amethyst and Peal so far wouln’t they have something to say about the Lapis situation?

Though mybe that is meant to emphasize this arc of Steven taking all responsibility onto himself instead of going to them like he would have earlier - it isn’t just Lapis, he hasn’t talked to them about the Connie Situation either

ep 3

It’s Greg! That at least seems like a promising sign 

Texting feels

Aww even around Greg he’s this worried about effing everything up

I like the narration of the texts

Likefinally a show that instead of being “you kids with your trinkets” explores the emotional dimensions these things have become involved with

Aaand of course Greg notices * sigh * if only there were more dads like Greg in this world

And he doesn’t even push it, just “do you want to talk about it” Oh Greg you wondrous human

The house! Haven’t seen it in ages

So Greg probably mobilized the gems into cheering Steven up. They DO notice & care

lol Garnet

They try and its precious after what felt like long empty eps in which its just Steven and his thoughts, playing the “responsible” role

“a projection of the self compared to the intended delivery of the writers” lol Best joke in ages and i dont even like meta jokes that much

Ronaldo has never been so relatable

“Cool Ranch”

Steven is RLY feeling those angsty teenage years atm not too long ago he would have been super excited about this

Same observation as with Roses’ scraps I guess

And its painful because its a logical consequence of what he’s been through but on the other hand the wonder and appreciation were always what we loved about Steven?

Now he’s even dismissing extra info 

PD and everyone else’s past selves just drooping as the explanation is cut off tho

I guess he’s trying hard to be mature about it and accept it; Demanding xplanations would contain a morself of curiosity or accusation

But II wanted to here, stevieboy

Its rly heartbreaking how different hes acting from... “his usual self”? IDK man maybe its jut the adult-er version of him which is not what I’d want it to be but it could nonetheless be true

OHH and now it gets RLY RL again

The parenting conversations, Greg being all out of his depht and yet very much worried for Steven’s wellbeing

Pearl continues to have some particular hangup about the PD situation

Pearl as the most rooted in homeworld society is surely not helping, portraying it as a “not that bad “ question & still believing in some of the mysticoism of their society even if she’s rejected the beliefs themselves

Now we KNOW there’s a secret there

But alas, Steven was dealing with a way more humany-teenagery problem there...

Baby’s first breakup

Human Dad to the rescue!

Aand at long last ther’s some adressing of the whole thing in a holistic way that separating it into “gem stuff and human stuff” would not have accomplished

And off COURSE it was ronaldo

the best ep so far

aww family cuddles

lets hope that was an actual shooting star and not the incomming diamonds

ep 4

lol dat grungey morning sequence esp the minimalistic ear

And using the kitchen sink b/c Dot lives in the bathroom now

The Amethyst approach to music

Aaand of course Zuke couldn’t help piling on the breakup aesthetic even though the last ep was going a different direction?? IDK man

But Dotty listening to sad music when sad is very relatable and yet more proof that wre long lost soul sisters

Was she holed up in there during the vacation tho? I guess those conversations happened offscrean to preserve the feeling of isolation in Steven’s Pov

“Uuuugh...” DAT Face too too memetastic not to laugh 

I think I would ignore this if the knowledge of the backstage drama and agenda pushing didn’t leave a bad taste in my mouth 

And I mean look at that relatable overdramatic grean bean the whole sequence is weirdly perf

“Whats the poooint...”

I felt compelled to admire this magnificence several times over

The unhelpful purple has now graduated to agressively tryng too hard purple 

I love how Amethyst wants to go revisit & reframe everything now that she’s gotten this different POv on it and feels better about herself

“You can make us feel dumb by telling us stuff we don’t know!” She knows Peridot well XD Such wholesome friendship

Dotty doesn’t even deny it

Gotta love Amethyst

Aww its that train from back then!

Even the musical allusion

“Very convenient Warp Pad”

My lil purple has come so far

So apparently “-”Dot” is canon now

Oh. OHHH

Right we saw that Dot was actually proud of her job but I guess this is also a reframing for HER something SHE now views differently. It used to be like the birds & bees for her, but now... 

Thank you , day saving flower

WH0000T I thought the plot had forgotten about Peridots “renewable energy” pland she mentioned to YD and how this could revolutionize the Gempire but it seems Dotty is going to DO SCIENCE again

You know shes down when not even the traktor RLy cheers her up

Steven & amethyst tho

This whole project holds a deep almost “spiritual” significance for all three of them when you think about it, a kind of purification

the shovel thing was so cute

Super soakers!

The Ame-Copter is back

Loving this ep

Stylish Garden flamingo

The hyping is already making me think it didn’t take; Dot was right that they should hve analyzed the flower first

Called it. 

Ohh... didnt see THAT coming tho

Its like a corrupted anglerfish

I wonder if that used to be an amethyst

Ohh its a surprise smokie ~<3

not an amethyst maybe but purplish enough to be another former resident

Of course it wasn’t going to work overnight nothing ever does

but hey, hugs~

and perhaps thats just the setup for an ongiong plot arch still this could have used more of a sciencey approach

ep 5

Well judging by the title sadie is prolly heartbroken too

She prolly is but shes holdig up well enough

And hey at least Steven seems to be feeling better

Perhaps hiring a new donut boy would not have been that bad of an idea

This is surprisingly real

The whole crappy american millenial job situation

Steven is... REALLY bad at this

Lets appreciate that Sadie had a surprisingly deep character arc just trickling there heding everyting away so her mom don’t hijack it, pining away after an asshat to an unhealthy degree until she eventually just stopped obsessing over it all and letting her own self shine?

Also nice treatise on the process of art

ep 6

Soo... Kevin’s back? That sounds... interesting... especially in the light of the whole breakup situation, he was usually Stevonnies designated rival but they`re unlikely to be in the ep

Is he gonna try to recruit Steven to dudebroism in his moment of weakness? That sounds interesting bc as much as pickup artists, MRM scum redpillers ETC are frightening evil, to stop them one has to understand how they spread and what they often do is prey on young men with low self esteem - young men who don’t feel very privileged, are desperatre unhappy youngsters etc so they make themselves sound reasonable at first (at least to those who dont recognize their sales pitch/ rhetoric) to exploint natural curiosity, skepticism and a tendency to support supressed truth to then feed a person all sort of bullshit untill they blame women for all their problem - actually racists and other hategroups are much the same

They offer group identity, recognition & confidence to those who dont have it - So when it comes to fighting them, “immunizing” young boys against their salespitches with information and knowledge is just as important as fighting its most malignant supporters if not more but that doesn’t rly get as much attention bc bashing obvious evil people is satisfying and people who have been hurt & traumatized and had real harm done to them may find it hard to sympathize with young men... clearly its not the victims who need to do the work but society and those who raise & educate boys at every step of the way if society could be arsed to care

Ehh I should probably stop ranting and watch the actual episode

Should you really be giving Kevil your number?

“my crush will be at the party” is such an old cliche so the question is how exactly theyll subvert it

Unknown faces all around, prolly the less friendly side of town god job at establising the uneasy ambiance

Is that a BREAKUP HAIRCUT?

Ohhh the music slowing down the background fading away

So steven is one of those ppl who just keeps texting the void and connie is one of those pp who don’t

And I’ve been in this situation and im with connie here like if the relationship is not working because of legitimate reasons, are those reasons going to go away just because you cave and text the person back? Why would anyone keep texting like the problems will magically go away, or text back, what could the result be other than causing you both more pain

Like I understand it ttheoretically in a “humans process feelings differently” kind of way and im not bashing on Steven here but ill never understand-understand it

Conclusion: again this show gets real 

Kevin is such a platonical ideal of an asshat, you almost gotta admire the purity of his asshattery

Case in point he cannot understand the friendship component

Meanwhile of course conny has been having her own private freakout

And they didnt go the cliched angle of forcing the fusion right then & there

So I suppose this made sense as a miniarc and had some pretty real moments & necessary explorations though I do want to get back to the plot now

Soo lets see whom the fandom has decided to hate and distort THIS time...

[chickenfetus]

ALL MY EGG (and for the four names: jae, killer kang, minhyuk (whichever one), and santa

deadass i did the 100 questions ask meme for this ask and almost posted it rip

🐰 what is one secret that you’ve never told anyone?

theres literally nothing i dont even know what to say ???? 

💗 if you could hug anyone, who would it be?

not 2 be delusional but i would give up my world to hug changkyun

🐹 what are some of your favourite Pokémon and why?

glaceon is UP THERE idk why honestly but the sinnoh games were my first and i just??? i was really into ice and snow and shit u know so glaceon... thakn u

another pkmn ill always have is lucario ????? its just so cool?????

🌠 if you were in charge of the world, what would the world look like?

hopefully forgiveness and like???? acknowledging mistakes and learning from those u know jst positive stuff and like?? water. god i love water

👀 what was the most recent vivid dream that you had?

hm okay i think this one was from last night or the night b4??? and like???? idk???? i dont even know how 2 start tbh?

so im like hanging over at this two kid’s im a kid 2 i think place and idk we just talk and shit??? idk whomst the boys were tho

and then we get to a scene where its like??? at a train station???? and i go to the washroom to shit or smth idk thankfully i didnt shit myself irl

then i have to get onto the train which isnt even a train its like a carousel with seats??? and its like on a train track boys this is 2 much and i forgot to get ready my train card thing so the guy (who i was p sure was evil) waited for me to remove it so i got onto the transportation device lmao

and then once im seated i remember i forgot my jacket so i make like hand movements 2 the creep and hes runnig 2 me with my jakcet but the ride’s way too fast so i yell and say ill come back for it even tho im p sure i wasnt going 2

after that i wke up wild

☀️ what do you like the most about your best friend?

i dont have a best friend and all of my friends have their own unique qualities if i went into a rant abt them rn this will b so long

😘 talk about your crush or partner

[minhyuk voice] theres none

💁 if someone was rude to you, would you be rude back?

ya bc im petty but it really depends on the person

🌟 what do you like about yourself? (must choose at least 3 things!)

my personality (the good parts)

my values

my taste in friends (my Big Friends are either geminis or scorpios good)

🐾 what are you scared of most? how will you overcome it?

the dark and bitch isnt gonna turn off her night light any time soon

🎁 what never fails to make you happy?

seeing my favourite happy, listening to the music i like 

💙 what annoys you about some people?

i jjust went into a full out rant abt this on the other reply so ill be quiet now

😤 do you get angry easily?

yeahhhhh 

🐇 what do you always daydream about?

my faves tbh

🌻 if you could change 3 things about the world what would you change?

bad people , gone.

everybody only sends love and happy things on anon

i just want everyone 2 b nice & friendly wars of any sort dont exist and no one wants anybody dead

🍓 send me 4 names: kiss, befriend, kill or marry?

if u sent jae’s name earlier id have trouble so im glad

kiss: tihis is so fucking embarrassing wtf minhyku (mx) but only on the cheek basically everywhere except the lips or anyplace weird

befriend: brian :-0

kill: jae goodbye loser

marry: sanha we can yell every time we gotta turn the lights off

✈️ what is your dream city and why?

tokyo bc its NICE

☕️ talk about your ideal day

cant read

🌸 are you an introvert, ambivert or extrovert?

i suddenly thought of the word ambivore which made me think of the word vore i wanna delete im a both? mayb idk

💧 when was the last time you cried?

nov 3 bc my heart hurts whenever i see ppl being a bad friend

🎵 name 5 songs you love at the moment

oh worm

all alone - day6

with you - astro

dramarama - mx (even though it isnt out yet lmao)

run - bts (the superior bts song)

hellevator - / (i was rly gonna make this mixed languages but rip)

⚡️ if you had any superpower, what would it be and why?

to fly bc im basic

💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say?

dont do that

💚 who are you jealous of and why?

nobody in general????????? 

💎 which one would you rather have more of: intelligence, beauty, kindness, wealth or bravery? why?

intelligence i have 2 live somehow what if my money gets stolen

🙊 what are you ashamed of?

my humor

🌺 which languages do you know? which do you want to learn?

i (barely) know chinese despite having 2 take it all my life legends only

i know english but im bad at that 2 and its my first language once again legends only

i wanna learn japanese and korean 

🍀 if you could be any fictional character’s best friend/lover, which fictional character would you be?

the cow from voltron 

☁️ talk about your dream universe.

weve already discussed this

💜 which acts of kindness are you going to do today?

oh w-0rm ok so im a regular anon on this persons blog and i wanted to send an ask but never got arnd doing it so im gonna send her one. soon/

🐬 if you could transform into any animal/magical creature, what would you be and why?

let me live my life as a furry and cat

🍄 talk about someone/something you really dislike

are u ready 4 me to b the meanest person yet bc i sure am lets fucking go

so theres this girl. and i know her (unfortunately) and ive known her since like 4 years ago and back then she was already pretty shit tbh

she cried bc she had to sit in between the “weird” and “dirty” girls in our class and she headass cried in front of them and everyone just bc she didnt like the arrangement?? shes called the “dirty” girl disgusting before and has made fun of her in front of everybody its just bad :-/

now. fast forward 3 years and in addition to still being disrespectful and rude, she now vocalizes her weird fantasies for her “oppas”??? some examples: 

“when i go watch __ perform im gonna climb onto stage and then my mother and my future husband will fight for me” and she calls those kpop idols weird shit and basically sexualizes them/???? she says the weirdest fucking shit on her ig story and tags them??????? 

another thing. she went to korea nd took a picture of a complete stranger and posted it on her public ig and called him her “oppa” and said that they had a “fun day together” despite the guy not knowing her at all???? she posted the pic of him??? i still dont get it tbh 

she wasnt even being ironic at all??? she calls herself & classmates “autistic” whenever she/others do smth dumb or mess up and its just sososososo fucking wrong

being one of the people to see how shes basically grown from bad to worse is something i dont fucking enjoy and i jsut want to leave my class already lmao 

ok but there are times where i do appreciate her because sometimes the class will be rly quiet and the teacher is basically talking 2 themselves but she’ll always respond w/o fail so thats great but its only bc she talks so damn much 

i just got a flashback to when she “jokingly” said she wanted to be a trainee for the rest of her life how do i just. god

😣 talk about some things that have been making you depressed/angry/anxious lately

we’ve once again already discussed this

🍪 what did you want to be as a kid, and what do you want to be now?

i wanted to be various things honestly?? ranging from an astronaut to a vet to an editor to an animator to other stuff i get influenced pretty easily so if i watch smth and i think its cool ill want 2 be that i guess?? ive been trying 2 get rid of that habit so now i have no clue what i wanna be

🍰 what are some of your favourite sugary foods?

sweets and chocolate cake

🍑 what are you obsessed with?

drinking water and staying hydrated

making my friends laugh is great 2

💘 what happens to you when you’re stressed?

acne LMAO 

😪 what are you sick of?

the usual

🙀 are you an adrenaline seeker?

i love scouting on sif and bandori so yeah 

💥 what are some unpopular opinions that you have?

lets not 

☔️ would you consider yourself a good person?

to a certain extent

😊 what do you like to do as hobbies?

use my phone???? send nice anons and comment on art/fics 

🎤 what’s the last song you hummed or sang by yourself?

none

🐝 what’s your worst trait? how are you planning to improve it?

my tolerance for ppl’s shit is so low

🎨 what do you always doodle when you’re bored?

my ocs

🐻 what’s stopping you from chasing your dreams?

i dont have a dream hence myself

🌷 what’s your mbti personality and why do you think it suits you?

infpt i dont rmb shit but yeah

🐶 send me 3 fictional people and I’ll choose my favourite!

falen i dont rmb what u sent

👑 who are your favourite celebrities and why?

i dont follow any :-o zendaya has had my heart ever since shake it off tho

🐴 opinion on day6?

ur rly gonna do this 2m e?

all alone just started playng this is terrible lets get it

so day6. a band i only found out about in late june (thank u boxy) and before this i only ever listened to bts and mx bc my friends stan them so i thought i was gonna expect boys dancing, the usual. 

i clicked i smile and i lost my fucking shit as soon as i saw the instruments because prior to day6 i was a big 5sos fan so this was rly resonating to me tbh and i was just !!! so fukcng excited??? i never intended to even get into day6 honestly??? but after witnessing how good they are and watching about all of the available mvs at that point i was completely in awe so i caved a created a stan twitter for them.

now, this isnt even the most of it. after becoming a fan i realized how much more these 5 boys are. they compose (if im not wrong) and brian writes lyrics for the songs each month because of their everyday6 project and again, im wow-ed because??? the amount of dedication???? they went from releasing 2 title tracks in 2 years to releasing 12 title tracks and 12 bside tracks in a single year. they havent released the december song yet but haviing to work on 2 or more songs in 4 weeks is fucking amazing if you ask me. 

theyre really talented and theyre just so versatile (am i using that word correctly) and each month their songs sound different. this project has given them the opportunity to try new things and you can hear the steady improvement in each of their vocals (dowoonie not so much since he barely gets lines, but we all know hes working hard) and if you listen to their debut song - kongchu and compare it to the version they released along with sunrise it just???? the drumming has even changed from the original version nd its so noticeable that whenever i hear kongchu from 2015 i know its the old ver

to add to those, they do vlives every week and although those vlives are always scheduled it still makes my day seeing them and watching them do the usual. 

one thing im upset about is that how they barely promote themselves, they rarely get on variety shows (the most is individual schedules) and we, as mydays never really get to know the boys so its harder to fall for them as a whole. i dont know if its jyp or day6′s decision but if this is how they want to be known for - their music only, then so be it. we still have jae’s presence on youtube, music access and asc. thats the most we can get and it makes it difficult for us to learn about the rest but thats okay.

another thing. their concerts are something i always look forward to (even though my interest has died down a bit;) their concerts are just so fun to listen to?? there’ll always be mydays who stream the concert so everyone else can listen to them play and they sound so good live it drives me crazy. mydays are always so hyped and whenever mydays sing along it just gives me goosebumps??? bc theyre so???? good????? 

tldr; day6 deserve more, following wise and promotions wise because they work so hard and once this project ends i hope they’ll manage to rest but still remain as a presence that will be known instead of returning to jyp’s dungeon.

🍋 do you consider yourself an emotional person?

there are days where i am more emotional than usual 

📚 share 3 books that you love and your favourite quote from them.

this is tiring

😔 what do you always do when you feel sad? does it help?

i sleep and boy it really helps

😌 what thoughts keep you going when you’re sad?

rest

🌍 which country do you live in?

singapore

🐧 describe yourself in 3 words

lame funny swag

🐵 which quotes changed you?

“rocky swag” - park minhyuk, 2017

💭 do you keep a diary?

nope

💫 who inspires you?

brian kang 

👻 do you believe in ghosts and why?

yes bc i love losing sleep

🎀 what’s your fashion sense like?

terrible

🎬 what are some of your favourite films?

i watched spiderman homecoming and i have no idea why i didnt see the plot twist coming but its GOOD watch it

🍦 what is one treasured childhood memory?

theres none lads

🐼 if you could meet anyone, who would it be and why?

all my internet buddies but sometimes i dont want to bc im kinda....gross

[t-shrt]

100 q tag

no one wud read it but ima do it anyways cos fun tag by @dubblebubble

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? more cereal than milk cos i love tht crunchy crunch

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? LOVE

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? receipts, pen lol

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? coffee=basic latte/hot tea, no sugar

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? sometimes, not too often tho

6: do you keep plants? no but i want to but ill be terrible at it so no

7: do you name your plants?

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? digital art

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? yes very it keeps me sane

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? side/back, back esp nowadays

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? lots lol

12: what’s your favorite planet? earth? hahahah it used to be jupiter cos i loved sailor jupiter as a child

13: what’s something that made you smile today? friend + nct + fics

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? two separate bedrooms, a balcony, good amount of plants, separate fridge for alcohol, sizeable kitchen

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! it rains diamonds in jupiter and saturn $$$$

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? bolognese hahahaha im boring

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? i just dyed my hair a darker ash brown n i quite like it ive been light for awhile

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. one came 2 mind cos we both recently talked ab it, a longtime close friend of mine n i used to have the biggest fight where he threw me a pair of scissors n i threw him a basketball in retaliation lmfaooo it still became a running joke more than a decade later...

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? not really...prolly shud

20: what’s your favorite eye color? i actually like brown hahah, maybe a slightly lighter shade of brown

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. it was a gift from my parents, a simple small messenger bag with a lot of slots, brought it with me literally everywhere, during my hookups, my night outs, been stained with questionable things (its been cleaned lol!).... almost lost it in a club only to be found by a friend... it has foundation stains tho lol

22: are you a morning person? n o

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? sleep, listen to music, watch stuff, not reply to messages

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? no

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? nothing rly comes to mind but im p sure ive been somewhere like tht lol

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? LOL my adidas superstars

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? ermm the red colored ones?

28: sunrise or sunset? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm very good question

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? hmm what comes to mind is the way both of us sometimes exchange goodnight msgs w nct farm emojis heheeh

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? lol ofc....

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. unfortunately im rly basic on socks, u wud most likely find me wearing black ankle socks or black ballet(?) socks nothing more nothing less.......

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. a lot has happened usually during that time lol. duno which story to pick honestly hahahah. i think a memorable one might be when we were drinking n played games and we talked and talked and joked n nek min one by one we fell asleep in the same room hahah... im sure there are other stories tht might be more eventful but fr the life of me my memorys fuzzy rn lol

33: what’s your fave pastry? i love strawberry shortcakes! or mille crepes

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? i kept a LOT hahah. prolly named a few, but nothing was too special. i think it rly reflected how i managed my relationships then, n evn yrs aftwds, like i ws always lonely n my instincts were to gain quantity cos deep down i cudnt trust ppl n cudnt get too committed lololol

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? i wish i was cos sometimes ppl wud make pretty colorful notes, but i usually just buy ones tht i wud use cos practicality.

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? mmmmm is it cheating if i say nct cos they cover a range of genres lmao. but their ballads i guess yeah.

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? i mean i prefer to keep it clean, but its always really messy HAHAHA ;_;

38: tell us about your pet peeves! 1. someone rude 2. someone who doesnt know how to respect others’ boundaries 3. someone self-entitled n takes themselves 2 seriously

39: what color do you wear the most? black on black on black on black baby

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? an evangelion ring, its the black (lilith) moon with lcl gem in it, to me i guess symbolizes my struggle with human relations, n how eva as an anime illustrated tht n the fantasy of having everyone’s consciousness merged into one--n the fact that lilith in itself (in astrology) signifies the darker side of a human being? i guess n the fact that evn if u acknowledge ur darker side u cud still use it to further urself

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? hmmmm i guess last was a self help book, unfuck your boundaries, helped me support my need to strengthen my boundaries

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! little rogue :) its in a small alleyway, a little quaint shop, easy to miss... small potted plants, with an amaaazing matcha latte

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? siiigh a guy i was involved with lmfao i cut him off tho

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? hmmmmm good question i guess lately ive been very thankful tht i could feel comfortable taking my own time and space, n accepting the positive energy others wn give 2 me. being single really, really does help evn tho id feel lonely sometimes, bc the only weight i carry is the weight of my own soul n i wn learn how to nourish that

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? very i think

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. i have a lot HAHAHA if u were a friend of mine ud prolly get tired of them. a genuinely bad one wud be haha youre so punny lmfao

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? nothing rly lmao if theyre healthy n someone derives happiness frm it i wudnt want it to be banned

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? probably not lol, i mean i think i retained similar fears since i ws a kid but now obviously my biggest fear(s) would be more...specific to me

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? its the digital age baby spotify ftw (in all srsness i wish i collected vinyls tho hh)

50: what’s an odd thing you collect? i used to collect ramune bottles lmaoooo

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? hmmmm nah lets not do this right now lol

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? LOL too many but i love shitpost quality memes tbh

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? pulp fiction. i actually loved it, i think i still do, its entertainment value is kickass, havent taken the time to dissect it in any other way

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? oh man i think it ws the dude i ws seeing lmao fk him

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? a lot, n most of them im not proud of, cos some involves self harm

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? kindness n genuineness, someone’s courage in being vulnerable

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? dont feel like it rn but everytime i do 10/10 will dramatically reenact the lyrics right to the guitar riffs

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? im definitely the wine (aunt) lmfaooo im already one tbh 

59: what’s your favorite myth? Eros + Psyche, Icarus and the sun

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? i love poetry hahah...cant think of any rn

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? id love any gift given 2 me as long as they wont harm me or anything lmao n i dont think ive evr given anything too stupid. well.. idk if this is stupid tho like i sent flowers thanking my ex for ‘helping me live’ well aft we’ve blocked each other off cos the end to the relo was js daaamn toxic lmao

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? nope

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? music i do spotify n im pretty particular ab organizing my playlists i guess. my books im alright with as long as theyre just stacked properly no problem

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? prolly rly dark blue cos its 12 am

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? a lot tbh cos ive rly been focusing on stuff internally

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? daisies, sunflowers, n baby breath here n there

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? somber i guess maybe a tad bit nostalgic?

68: what’s winter like where you live? heeella cold not cos of the temperature itself but the winds thooo, if it drizzles evn in the slightest it feels like needles piercing through ur bones literally

69: what are your favorite board games? i like the game of life, ummm cards against humanity?

70: have you ever used a ouija board? no n never will lol

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? the fruity kinds

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? yea def lol

73: what are some of your worst habits? disappearing from people when i feel strong emotions

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. they’re small but they’re so full of love, full of life, full of strength, and full of care for others, they’re the type of person who will seek their goals till the end despite obstacles and still be able to not lose their warm heart on the way. they put so much thought and care to every aspect of their life even when in the past they have been handed some bad things, and i adore them for that.

75: tell us about your pets! none :( wish i have a cat though

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? hahahhaah

77: pink or yellow lemonade? pink!

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? neither sometimes i think theyre weird sometimes cute sometimes weirdly cute lmao

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? write up 24 things they love about me to stop me from hating myself

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? white. no but if i had to id say white anyways lol cos its a blank canvas

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. i dunno uhhhh her rounded eyes which seemed to at first glance, harbor plenty of wonder seemed to be weighted by many untold secrets, the traces of which could be found when she erupts into laughter where the wonder would manifest itself in the form of small stars in the dark of her eyes.

82: are/were you good in school? meh. i try

83: what’s some of your favorite album art? weirdly i like cigarette after sex’s one cos its so simple yet telling

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? planning on getting an evangelion one, another heart one, a sunflower one, and prolly a ghibli related one

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? manga? naruto 4evr LOL

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? hmmm thinkin of dpr live’s IAOT

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? lord of the rings, harry potter, one of ghibli movies lol

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? i think impressionism is very cool evn tho i dont do it myself

89: are you close to your parents? eeeeee

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. Melbourne is a wonderful city where many things could coexist in one--happiness and sadness, camaraderie and loneliness, hot and cold, quiet and full of life, productive and relaxed, bursting with unfocused energy yet incredibly organized, and for many reasons it’s become one of my favorite cities, and definitely my favorite to live in.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? no plans tbh lol maybe home?.......japan? heheheh nahhh

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? it depends lol mostly i guess drowns my pasta in cheese

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? i always wear it down, either straight or wavy

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? a friend of mine

95: what are your plans for this weekend? stay in most likely, do stuff

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? 100% procrastinate lmaoooo

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? ISTG, jkjk INFP, leo sun aquarius moon cancer rising, ravenclaw

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? im alws meh ab hiking tbh lmao 

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. Long Slow Distance - NCT 127, Four - Sleeping At Last, idontwannabeyouanymore - Billie Eilish, Stop This Train - John Mayer, Digital Lover - Crush

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 years into the past so she’d stop focusing her life around anybody else but herself

[0225pm]

guess who came all the way to my place at 330AM!!!!! lol i was so surprised bc i just got done with putting on my acne treatments for the night and was about to hit the hay already until i received a call from han. funny thing was, i thought he was super tired today since we've met each other like 3 days in a row already so i figured i should let him rest and take a break from seeing my face HAHAHAHA 😂 and then earlier in the evening around 530PM, i met up with dayah since it was her birthday yesterday and i wanted to pass her a gift i got her as well. in the midst of it all, i managed to get cupcakes (thank goodness twelve cupcakes exist at bedok mall) as an additional gift because imo a birthday without some form of cake or something similar and edible isn't really a birthday-birthday, if you get what i mean!!! and then i treated her to a little something extra which was starbucks since they still had the 1-for-1 promo going on (thanks seanna for this!!) i know everything just seems like i'm spending a lot but idk i just wanted to make her feel like she deserves all these because of what she's going through both in school and at home. besides, it's not everyday that we do these sorta things for each other! and my mom always taught me to be kind and generous if you have the means to do it!! (〃＾▽＾〃) ok and then around 7+ i think we decided to head back home since she was tired from school and was carrying a lot of gifts from her clique at school. and upon reaching home, i video called han HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! he didn't pick it up at first so i thought ah, he must be asleep and i ended the call after a couple of rings. then just as i was about to head to the toilet to remove my makeup, i felt my phone vibrate and noticed that han was video calling me HAHAHAHAAH SO I PICKED IT UP AND HE WAS LIKE, han: woa first time you video call me eh me: ya hahaha i thought you're sleeping cus you didn't pick up han: no la i didn't feel the vibration etc etc etc me: ohhhhh me: me: han: is it you video call me cus you're wearing makeup??? me: LOLOLOLOLOL me: omg how you know HAAHAHAHHAHAAH this is, but true HAHAHAAH. i'm slowly tryna get comfortable with my skin and even after han had already seen me FRIKIN BARE FACED IN REAL LIFE during my visit to the clinic the other time for my acne meds, i still am so shy and embarrass to let him see my naked and makeup-free face even after all these time hahahaha even after he told me how much he doesn't care and it doesn't even bother him and how much he still adores and loves me no matter how shit i look and still give me lots of kisses and holds my hands in public but lol i still feel so..... shy and not confident enough. i feel like i should dress to match how good he looks because he slays all the time y'all like forrealz idk how he does it but he looks bomb all the time. and then after awhile he had to end the call because he had something to do and then he thanked me for video calling him for the first time ever haahhaahahah ヽ(；▽；)ノ anyway fast forward the time to about maybe 8/9pm or so. we were just having a normal conversation, with him replying sometimes instantly and sometimes taking up to 30 mins *rolls eyes* it was mostly about whether he had already had his dinner or not and then because i already had starbucks with dayah i sent him a photo of it telling him that if he's not tired on friday (his first day off) then maybe we can go grab it together since it's the last day of the promo. i think he saw my instastory cus the next moment he said something like "yeah and you light the savory one" and i was just LOL-ing because i thought he was sleepy which was the reason for the typos. and then i wanted to ask him to play ml with me but LOL HE ALR GM4 damn fast or what this bugger (also bc he's always playing ranked games more than classic/brawl. unlike me, i played like idk how many games of brawl already). then around 10PM he asked me to play first and then he'll join later. so i said ok ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ but i was too busy doing other shit like removing my make up (yes i haven't removed my make up after the video call) and moisturizing, my skincare routine la basically and by the time i wanted to play ml i think it was already around 11+. and then suddenly he came online right at the time when i just ended my game and then he told me to play one round together then he's gonna go sleep. i was kinda bummed like aiya one round je?? but it's late and i know he has work later early in the morning so i said ok and then we played one round together and lost terribly i think cus he was lagging??? and his friend was lagging too or smth i'm not sure hahaha. but overall i am also now GM4!!!! i didn't see his goodnight message on ml until after 1 so i texted him asking if he was already asleep. but i kinda suspected that he was fast asleep cus he didn't reply after i double texted him again at like 2+ almost 3AM, sending him a screenshot of the new menu at macdonalds HAHAHAHAHA!!! and then suddenly he called me and i was so shocked?? bc at that time i was alr preparing to hit the hay. i excitedly picked up his call and asked him why isn't he asleep yet!!! then he said smth like he woke up or smth and saw my msg so i was like oh ok but he sounded super fresh like as though he just had a super good sleep. and then he said he wanted to go to the toilet and will call me back later but i told him to bring me along LOOOOL and then he said noooo for what but i said bring meeeeeeee. he ended up bringing me but putting me on mute. BUT WHAT SHOCKED ME THE MOST WAS WHEN I HEARD KNOCKING ON MY WINDOW WTF LA. cus it was already so damn late who tf would be knocking on my window right. and i was on the phone with han at that moment as well and i thought it was my brother but he's in camp!!!! so it's definitely not him. never in my mind would i have thought that it was actually han :') wtf i can't believe he came all the way to my place at such an ungodly timing. i was so touched!!!!!! he's so sweet ;;;;;;; what did i even do to deserve such a wonderful boyfriend like him omg. other people will probably think he's a creep for doing things like this but wtf i rly love it bc when someone rly loves you they do silly things like this and sacrifice and risk themselves just to see you and be with you!!!! i made him wait a rly long time and i was truly sorry but i'm not gonna go out looking like a kentang that just went through the fryer with my oily ass haven't shampoo hair and my stinky face full of spot treatments LOL so i went to wash my face, used lots of dry shampoo to soak up my oily hair and then put on a huge ass hoodie lmaO. the moment i stepped outta the house, han: what took u so long???? me: um i look like shit han: *embraces me from back* me: um *blushes but he can't see thank god* han: *continues back hugging into the lift* me: why u come all the way here omg?????? han: hmmmm *still hugging* me: somemore you got work later then must go all the way back lol wtf i'm so passive aggressive when i actually fucking highkey loves the fact that he's right in front of my eyes in physical form LOL me: *waddles bc han is still back hugging me* han: me: me: me: *unlocks han's embrace to turn around and face him before i flung my arms around his neck into a tight hug* he smells so good ;-; he smells just like he came out from the showers or something omg i love his smell?????? is that a thing hahaahha then we held hands and walked to mcds but lol it wasn't dinner/supper anymore cus by 4 they changed the menu to breakfast which was ok by me but i think han actually wanted to have their dinner set bc he wanted to try the new menu but das ok we can always get it another time!! OH AND WHILE WALKING he said, "u never notice anything ah?" then i was like huh and i looked down at what he was staring/pointing at. and i realized he was wearing the jeans i got him hehehehe and it fits him quite well!!!!!!! sorry i wasn't observant i was still in a state of surprise to notice or maybe it's bc you look like a million bucks all the time already ;) and then around 4+ 5 he had to leave to avoid the morning commuters :( i was sad bc he's leaving so early but i can't be selfish either bc i don't want him to be stuck in a jam and then be late bc of my selfishness so he booked a grab and after many many many kisses and warm hugs, he left since the grab driver already arrived. but lol he keyed in the wrong location and then i booked another grab for him instead with the right location this time (he got the same driver ahahahaha) and watched him get in the car safely before i went in, washed up, sent him a text and falling asleep soundly hehe. best boyfriend award goes to you ♡