#the legend of gay: creature’s awakening

[thecreaturethatexistssomewhere]

Hard to think that THIS FUCKER;

Made me realize “Hey, men are kinda hot”.

Sidon.

He’s hot.

I hate Yona with a burning passion.

[bee-ina-boat]

hello gay people. i mentioned awhile back about a possible concept for a tma au but its mixed with mythology/religion based stuff. i have since finished this chunk of concept/reference art of the Ceaseless Watcher for this au!!!

im dubbing it: The Magnus Mythos!! please talk to me about it i am insane

putting my rambling au nonsense under the readmore!!!!!

edit!!!: new mythos post just dropped :3

alright- bare with me because my thoughts are everywhere lol

random various au information:

the fear entites are instead more general gods, much like those from various mythologies (greek, norse, egyption, etc.) like the eye, rather than an entity that feeds on the fear of being watched, is rather the god of knowledge and sight!

all of the gods have influence over the world, some mortals will devote themselves to one specific god entirely, others will become devout to multiple, and some will simply be neutral among all 14 and live life out as they please.

avatars are mortals who have been blessed with power by the gods while creatures (like mr spider, the not them, etc) are simply beings who have been born into the world by the gods power seeping into it. artifacts are items that have either been blessed/cursed by the gods or avatars, or have been affected by the gods power seeping into the world also.

theres multiple sects, cults, and churches for each god much like how many real life religions have different sects with their own rules and standards. some have beef, others do not.

the gods themselves are entirely morally neutral, they have their own interconnected relationships with eachother, and kind of view mortals as pets in a way, picking favorites and seeing them as of lesser importance in comparison to themselves.

since the gods here arent necessarily evil and theyre actually sentient beings, their titles are changed to be more fitting (the mother of puppets -> the mother of fate as an example)

the story is set in an era resembling the early 1900s because idk. vibes are neat i guess

thats all the basic world building crumbs for now, ill go deeper into it when i have more art and story stuff ready!

for now- heres some actual lore :3c

Jonah magnus is basically eye jesus. thousands of years prior to the start of the story, the eye favored him and he became a messiah of sorts.

the House of Magnus is a church sect of the eye founded in what is now london. but it doesnt operate JUST as a simple church. many sects of the eye devote themselves to gaining knowledge of the world around them and the House of Magnus is no different there. operating with a library, research centre and all. the research not just on history and knowledge, but also the holy and divine. documenting stories that deal with the divine powers and researching cursed/blessed artifacts aswell.

its a common legend that if one tells their story under the eyes watch (either in a church of the eye or directly to an avatar of the eye) that theyll receive good fortune and foresight, and since the House of Magnus has become a well known sect of the eye, many will come far and wide to detail their accounts under its roof

all of this documentation leads down to the Magnus Mythos, a large archive under the church where the written documents are filed, curated and cared for by the head Archivist. as such, the position of Archivist has become a most sacred role among worshippers of the eye comparable to the head of the church itself.

they arent just revered for their care of the mythos (though the devotees of the eye view the care of documented knowledge to be a sacred and ever important responsibility) Theres a prophecy, hand woven by the Mother of Fate herself, one that states an ordinary archivist will one day be gifted by all 14 of the gods and awaken the great change, bringing about a new and blessed age.

but is this newest archivist even ready for such pressure and commitment? and what if the prophecy is more devious than one might think?

oooOOOOoooOO mysterious lore- i know this is heavily self indulgent but i refuse to apologize for that because im havin FUN. if you read all of that just know i love you so much and i hope you liked it ;w; im very excited and ive been working on archivist +archival assistant lore for the past few days and im excited to do art for them ;_;

[ageless-soul-au]

List of Links - in kind of chronological order!

Ages are at the start of the adventure. Look up any character on the blog by using "#ASAU [name]"!! Refer to the timeline for exact placement. If any details change, we'll update this post!

First - he/him, cis, bi, 29, 6'4 / 193cm - Hylia's chosen warrior, the first hero whom the others inherit the Hero's Spirit from, married to Stella (OC), Warriors' father

Sky - he/him, cis, bi, 25, 5'10 / 178cm - Hero from Skyward Sword, married to Sun, father of twins Solara and Polaris (Sola and Polly)

Myriad - he/him, cis, it's complicated, 36, 5'10.5 / 179cm - Hero of the era 10,000 years before Breath of the Wild (10k Era) and the First Calamity, technically married to Monarch but they're kinda divorced, father of Colt and Camille

Four - plural they (he/him if necessary), system, 17, 4'9 / 145cm - Hero(es) from Minish Cap & Four Swords Adventures

Red - she/they, femme NB, panrom gray ace, 4'5 / 135cm

Vio - he/they, demiboy, homorom demi, 4'7 / 139cm

Green - he/him, cis, aroace, 4'9 / 145cm

Blue - he/him, basically cis, demi, 4'11 / 149cm

(Bonus! Shadow - he/it, creature, gay, 4'9 / 145cm)

Cinder - he/him, cis, straight, 24, 5'11 / 180cm - Hero from Termina before Majora's Mask, took over the quest for Termina's previous hero when he got injured, fought Majora and adventured with Navi

Flicker - he/him, cis, babey, 9, babey height - Fallen Hero from OoT, pulled the sword and was never put to sleep, died fighting Beast Ganon

Time - he/him, cis, questioning, 21, 6'1 / 185cm - Hero from Ocarina of Time & Majora's Mask

Wind - he/him, cis, doesn't care (demi), 17, 5'8 / 173cm (as of the beginning) - Hero from Wind Waker & Phantom Hourglass

Twilight - he/him, cis, bi open/polyam, 28, 6'0 / 183cm - Hero from Twilight Princess, married to Midna

Fae - she/her, transfemme NB, lesbian, 18, 5'7 / 170cm - Heroine from before Hyrule Warriors, split Ganondorf's soul into four parts, reintroduced Great Fairies post-TP pre-BotW, green witch

Legend - he/him, transmasc/GNC-ish, bi/pan polyam, 20, 5'3 / 160cm (boots make him 5'6 / 167cm) - Hero from A Link to the Past, Oracle of Seasons & Ages, Link's Awakening, & A Link Between Worlds

Bonus! Ravio - he/him, cis, gay leaning pan polyam, 20, 5'7.5 / 171cm - Legend's Lorulean counterpart (and boyfriend) from ALBW

Hyrule - they/them, non binary/agender, aroace, 18, 5'8 / 173cm - Hero from the Legend of Zelda (Hyrule Fantasy/LoZ '86) & the Adventure of Link

Warriors - he/(she/they), cis(?) (genderfluid), bi polyam, 26, 6'3 / 190cm - Hero from Hyrule Warriors, hasn't had the gender epiphany yet but they'll get there (edit: they've gotten there!!)

Champion - he/him, cis(?), bi, 19, 5'2 / 157cm - Hero from pre-Calamity Breath of the Wild

Wild - they/any/neos, genderqueer/pangender, pan polyam/open, 20, 5'7 / 170cm - Hero from Breath of the Wild (not TotK)

Tears - he/him, cis(?), pan, 20s, 5'7 / 170cm - Hero from Tears of the Kingdom and Breath of the Wild (but who isn't the same person as Wild...)

Odyssey - he/him, cis, bi polyam, 20, 5'10 / 178cm - Hero after Breath of the Wild, completed his quest alongside his Zelda and Ganondorf

Bonus! Legacy - she/her, cis, bi? polyam, 19, 5'7 / 170cm - Princess/Heroine of Odyssey's era, great-something granddaughter of Flora and Paya (not Wild)

Bonus! Hope - he/him, cis, bi polyam, 19, 6'10 / 208cm - Gerudo Prince/Hero of Odyssey's era, can channel his past lives

[korenlesthe]

J'ai publié 19 fois en 2022

C'est 19 billets de plus qu'en 2021 !

2 billets créés (11%)

17 billets reblogués (89%)

Les blogs que j'ai le plus reblogués :

@papamordechai

@borkthunder

@huynhduyad14

@ussthunderquack

@out-of-context-phelous-allison

J'ai étiqueté 1 billet en 2022

#the jimquisition - 1 billet

#writing - 1 billet

#lgbt author - 1 billet

Longest Tag: 16 characters

#the jimquisition

Mes billets vedette en 2022 :

n°2

Writing & stuff (Part 1)

So, I think it's time i use this blog for what it is : a blog ! Note : all french terms will be translated in parenthesis.

Writing : how it all started I'm a french writer, almost 40yo, gay, soon to be "Pacsé" (PACS) to my lovely Marine boyfriend (French Navy). Since I was a child I wanter to tell stories but at the time, i couldn't even try, too affraid and never had enough motivation.

Like a lot of people, videogames played a big part in my inspirations. One of the very first game that made me think about how deep a story could be was The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening for the Nintendo GameBoy. I was around 10 years old when I got the game and, as a kid, it blew me away (the ending still brings tears to my eyes 29 years later).

It was so different to everything I played so far on the Amstrad CPC & Amiga. And the first one to make me cry at the end. Not long after that, my brother got a Super Nintendo and I got The Legend of Zelda: A Link To The Past for my birthday and it unlocked something in me : medieval setting, magic, swords, secrets, exploration... basically everything I loved.

And a few years after that, my brother brought what probably motivated me the most to start telling stories : Secret of Mana (Seiken Densetsu 2 in Japan). I vividly remember when my brother started the game, a loud yet distant cry of a monster is heard while the "Nintendo" & "Squaresoft" logos appears. I said "Wow". My sister said "Why do you 'wow' ? There's nothing !" but then the title screen appeared with the amazing theme song "Fear of the Heavens" by Hiroki Kikuta. I knew there was something more than just the roar of a powerful creature on a black screen.

Voir l'intégralité du billet

0 note - publié le 16 novembre 2022

Mon billet n°1 en 2022

First step here.

Wouhou ! Can’t believe it took me this long to get to Tumblr.

0 note - publié le 5 novembre 2022

Obtenez votre année 2022 en revue sur Tumblr →

[lgbtqmanga]

New Releases August 31, 2021

Chasing After Aoi Koshiba vol. 2 by Hazuki Takeoka, FLY

Sahoko Narita was enjoying the perks of finally being one of the popular girls when her world was thrown into disarray after a chance encounter with athletic and tomboyish Aoi Koshiba in the summer of their second year in high school. Their growing friendship is tested when Aoi confides in Sahoko about a crush from a fellow classmate, Shoji Miwa. Sahoko, unable to hide her surprise, must come to grips with her own feelings for Aoi before it's too late...

Failed Princesses vol. 4 by Ajiichi

A Storm of Emotions

Ever since hearing Fujishiro express her desire to be Kurokawa’s number one, Izumi has been struggling to keep her own feelings bottled up. Will she finally tell Fujishiro her secret? Is their turbulent school trip about to get even more emotional?

Kiniro Mosaic vol. 11 by Yui Hara

Yui HaraJoin your favorite fun-loving, international group of girls one last time! Aya, Youko, and Karen are taking their university entrance exams, and everyone's getting ready for their big graduation trip!.Don't miss the final volume of Kiniro Mosaic!

Land of the Lustrous vol. 11 by Haruko Ichikawa

Two hundred years after a failed attack on the Lustrous, Phosphophyllite is reassembled and tries again to get Kongō to pray for the Lunarians. This attempt seems likely to succeed, and the Lunarians prepare to depart to nothingness, while the gemstones on the moon prepare to be left behind. Meanwhile, Euclase is awakened by the commotion between Phos and Kongō…

Otherside Picnic vol. 1 (manga) by Iori Miyazawa, Eita Mizuno, Shirakaba

In this sci-fi/fantasy survival thriller, the dangerous and deadly realm of the Otherside--where urban legends, cryptids, and folkloric legends roam--calls to two women, both in search of something. As they set out to sate their curiosity and explore this other world, will the most earth-shattering thing they discover on the Otherside be their feelings for each other? While on the trail of alleged paranormal activity, amateur urban explorer, depressed college student, and all-around loner Sorawo discovers a door to a curious destination--the Otherside. There, she has a near-miss with a creature both repulsive and mesmerizing...but before she can fall prey to the strange beast, the beautiful Toriko comes to her rescue! What horrors await the pair as they continue to explore this parallel world and its bizarre and dangerous denizens?!

What Did You Eat Yesterday? vol. 16 by Fumi Yoshinaga

Two rather long-awaited encounters unfold in this installment of Fumi Yoshinaga’s heartwarming slice-of-gay-life series. After fifteen years of living together, Shiro meets Kenji’s family for the first time over dinner at a high-end unagi restaurant. Meanwhile, Kenji finally gets to know Kayoko, one of Shiro’s few friends, after a chance encounter at the supermarket. A rare argument breaks out, and circumstances both at work and at home continue to change for Shiro, but what remains a constant is the hearty meals the two of them share at the end of each day

[otterplusharchive]

rey! do you have any recs for kdramas? i have never watched any, but i like lovable characters and romance ? thank you in advance!

I DO IN FACT HAVE DRAMA RECS HII not all of these will be kdramas, but ill start with the kdramas ive watched and enjoyed and ill include all the warnings for them that i can remember off the top of my head and a brief synopsis for u!

kdramas-

1. weight lifting fairy kim bok joo

this was probably one of the first kdramas i saw people post about in like 2015 and i watched a little bit of it in 2016 but then only just got around to finishing it last year. the basic gist of it is its about a young sports college weight lifter, kim bok joo, centering around her navigating through her life and trying to figure out who she is and what she wants in life and what she wants to be. her romantic interest in the show is a swimmer and they have a sort of rivals to friends to lovers, he is SO in love with her and its adorable. i absolutely loved the side characters in this show theyre all so fun and kim bok joos best friends and weight lifting team are especially delightful. my main warning would be that this show addresses eating disorders and theres a lot of mention of both weight gain and weight loss, theres also a plot point early on where kim bok joo has a crush on her eventual love interests older brother but it gets resolved and the older brother literally goes "i didnt realize you had a crush on me and if i knew that i wouldnt have been so friendly with you, it would be completely innapropriate for us to be in a relationship". overall its a really sweet and emotional fun show but if you have issues with weight talk id skip this one

2. tale of the nine tailed

this one is really recent from last year and i didnt expect to be so hooked by it but boy howdy did i get attached to all the characters and the wild plot. it feels hard to explain the plot but basically a nine tailed fox named lee yeon is living in modern day seoul and is working for the underworld finding paranormal spirits/creatures/other rogue foxes that are causing havoc on the world, hes resigned himself to living this life while waiting for his girlfriend who died tragically 600 years ago to come back to life because he traded his status as a mountain god in order to ensure that her soul would one day be reincarnated. a plucky investigative journalist named nam ji ah figures out that hes not human and shenanagins ensue because she looks exactly like his dead girlfriend oooooo whatll happen. the plot beyond that gets really wild and its hard to explain and is easier to just watch. if u enjoy paranormal adventures this one is good. my one big complaint and issue with this is that the immortal mountain spirit meets his original girlfriend when shes a child and she continues to visit him off and on as she grows up which is Hm I Dont Like That! but thankfully the present time romance our female lead meets him when shes about 30 if im remembering right. also warnings for general fantasy violence, references to child abuse, animal death, and abandonment issues

3. extraordinary you

HUGE unreality warning for this. if you have issues with feeling unreal or have paranoia/delusions about not being a real person id avoid this one just because of its premise

ok i know i said tale of the nine tailed was a hard plot to explain but BOY extraordinary you is even HARDER to explain. because its so wild but so good. its about a girl who realizes that she is literally a side character in a comic book, and the story becomes her trying to change the story to save her character from dying but it becomes a lot more than that. the romance in this is literally tooth achingly sweet and the show itself is very pretty, i loved the side characters in this one and the show was engaging and interesting to watch it became really layered and meta. super reccomend this one honestly. my main issues/warnings that i can remember off the top of my head were just one character being the classic controlling boyfriend stereotype, bullying someone specifically for being poor, unreality like i mentioned before, and then at the very end there was this love interest for a side character who got reincarnated from a past piece of writing that they had been in and put in the comic but she was a student and he was the school cook which is weird but thankfully they like barely interact at all and theres no real romance he just like recognizes her and its barely a thing at the end of the show but its still weird

4. mystic pop up bar

big warning for suicide, sexual harrasment (which is framed as being bad and the guy whos harrassing the girl literally gets thrown off a roof)

i havent finished this one yet and thats mainly because im not emotionally ready because this one makes me soooo emotional. if you like found family this is a good one. its about a pop up bar run by a woman whos been tasked with solving the problems of a certain amount of people in order to atone for her crimes in the past before dying, shes able to enter the dreams of people and solve their issues using the information she gets in the dreams. paranormal shenanagins ensue, she acquires a son and a husband and it kills me its so fun and quirky and fun despite handling dark themes and peoples problems. also very sweet the found family murders me

5. kingdom (netflix original)

i literally am not going to be able to watch any other zombie media because kingdom and train to busan are the best pieces of zombie media ive ever seen. warnings for gore and violence and just general horror aspects.

i absolutely love this one its so thrilling and well done, i love the acting and the way that this show looks its absolutely gorgeous. a zombie plague breaks out in joseon period korea where the emperor has died and then was brought back to life by the queen and her father in a ploy to try and keep their family in political power, the crown prince must find answers. a lot more happens and its very dramatic and good i love the characters in this one

cdramas

1. the untamed. if you follow me and you havent watched the untamed im begging you to watch the untamed. literally one of the most beautiful stories ive experienced in my life i am not joking when i say i cried multiple times over it. the main characters are canonically gay in love and have a son together please watch the untamed. handles a lot of dark themes, heres a tw guide

2. the sleuth of the ming dynasty

this is another one i havent finished but its fun so far, very gay, found family, food, and solving murder mysteries during the ming dynasty

3. hikaru no go (also known as qi hun)

havent finished this one, there is some propaganda about hong kong in the first episode but as far as i know thats the only instance of something like that in the show

this ones about the game go and so far its very sweet and fun, local boy awakens a ghost who was a master of the game of go hundreds of years ago and eventually is persuaded to learn how to play go with the aid of the ghost. im really liking this one so far its very cute and i love the characters in it. if youve watched the untamed nie huaisangs actor ji li is in this one!

4. the legend of yunqian

this ones very short and on youtube, all the episodes are about 5 minutes long and its a lesbian time travel fantasy adventure with a happy ending! funny and cute

jdramas

1. cherry magic

please please please watch cherry magic. the premise sounds very much like a weird yaoi kind of thing but trust me on this. trust me. it is so heart warming and sweet and i was so emotional about it and the growth of the main character.

adachi gains the power to read peoples minds on his 30th birthday based off a urban legend that if youre a 30 year old virgin that youll become a wizard. after gaining this power he accidentally finds out that his extremely popular and handsome coworker has a crush on him, and shenanagins ensue along with adachi having blossoming feelings in return. this show was really refreshing in a lot of ways, adachi is a main character who like.. is unsure of himself and insecure in a very kind of realistic way, he closes himself off and is afraid to reach out to people and through the course of the show we see him slowly come out of his shell and realize that hes likeable and lovable and that people want to be around him and its so nice to see. my main complaint about this show is that i dont really like the background couple, but otherwise this is a very sweet and refreshing gay romance that has a happy ending!

some others that i myself havent seen but that ive seen people talk about a lot and that i want to watch eventually:

- the legend of fei (cdrama)

- the wolf (cdrama)

- gaurdian (cdrama, not the kdrama one called goblin)

- healer (kdrama, i did watch some of this one but it was in 2016 and i never finished it so i barely remember any of it but i do remember liking it)

- nobody knows (kdrama)

- its ok to not be ok (kdrama)

sorry this is so long but i hope youll be able to find a drama u enjoy!!

[jennymayg13]

The War On Christmas - The Try Guys

So after listening to the latest Tripod episode, I decided to write out the plot summary of their Christmas film from whatever sense I could make out of it.

Cast:

Red Santa - The Rock

Blue Santa - Vin Diesel

Jingle - Jonathan Van Ness

Young Jingle - Lachlan Watson

Gay - Billy Porter

Ruby the Reindeer - Cardy B

Grandparents - John Lithgow, Glenn Close, Alan Alda, Betty White

Sleigh - Sean Bean

Silver - Joan Cusack

Aunt - Scarlett Johanson

Jeffrey - Paul Rudd

Salvation Army Man -  Bernard Cribbins

Whole Santa and Narrator - Jerry Seinfeld

Long ago Santa was forgotten. The pagan spirit was fleeting and belief in Santa was fading away, with his holiday season being replaced by newer religions and beliefs. He could feel it in his heart, that the people had forgotten him and he slowly fell to the ground and lay on his side and closed his eyes. That night the snow built up around Santa and soon he was half-buried in the icy cold snow.

Several years later Christmas had taken hold of the world, what started off as a simple day had exploded into an entire season that invaded the months outside of December. The Bells family were preparing for their Eight Christmasses. Silver, Sleigh, and their child Jingle were to visit each individual grandparent as they were all divorced, their Aunt and Uncle who was in the army, cousin Jeffrey who had just started University, the Salvation Army guy who otherwise spends Christmas alone, and their little family Christmas where the kids would jump on the beds and be excited about presents. Jingle was searching the house for hidden presents when they came upon an old book that told the legend of Santa, and how when he disappeared Christmas became very chaotic. Jingle thought this was very sad and wished for Santa to come back. Little did Jingle know that at that moment, their belief and wish breathed life back into Santa.

He emerged from his resting place half blue from where he had frozen in the snow and half red where he had been preserved by the magic of Christmas. He looked upon the world and what it had become and was so distraught that he split into two Santas, Blue and Red. Blue was disgusted how Christmas had invaded the days of Hanukkah and how disappointed his mother would be, and Red was horrified by the commercialism that had taken over the holiday. Instead of the magical benevolent spirit that Jingle thought they were wishing back to life, they had created two creatures whose sole purpose was to eradicate what Christmas had become, by eradicating all humans. The Santas decided they would destroy all the humans and over the next few years waged a war on Christmas. Jewish Blue Santa and Zombie Red Santa build the cult of the guild of mall Santas who develop their own belief that Christians are ruining Hanukkah and vow to kill them all. They sacrifice themselves as Zombie Santa zombifies them and gives them the ability to turn more people into Zombies.

Jingle’s family didn’t take much notice of what was happening around them and instead prepared for their eight Christmases once again. They would be visiting each grandparent who had now all remarried, their aunt who lost her husband in the war, cousin Jeffrey who had just returned from his PhD programme, the Salvation Army man who still didn’t have any other friends or family, as well as their small family Christmas, even though the children were now all grown adults. Unbeknownst to them, their family had been protected as Jingle had been the one to awaken the Santas, and the book that Jingle still had was protecting their family from the Zombies. The Santas caught on to this and decided to take Jingle and their family out personally. When Jingle and their family went to their first Christmas at Silver’s mother’s house things were pretty normal for the most part with political discussions and arguments over life choices. They soon realised the time and had to leave to go to their next Christmas at Silver’s father’s house. Just after leaving Blue Santa found the house, poured buckets of paint over everyone and electrocuted all who were still inside ‘home alone style’. At the next house, Silver’s father was already drunk and immediately started asking Jingle when they would be settling down and starting a family. Silver’s father had owned a bookstore in town that had recently been shut down due to the building of a new bookstore across from their house and he wasn’t happy about it. Jingle and their parents left to make it to their next Christmas at Sleigh’s father’s house. As the left Silver’s father noticed that the bulldozers were working outside and making too much noise so in his drunken state decided to go out and shout at them. As he did, the bulldozer turned towards him and drove over him and into the house crushing all who remained. Red Santa got out of the bulldozer and searched, but they had missed Jingle again.

At the next Christmas number 3 with Sleigh’s father, they immediately get into an argument over allowing Jingle to be non-binary and the family decide to leave. After they leave, he hallucinates a world where he didn’t exist and everyone was much happier than when he did exist and he goes insane thinking about it and then fades away and Blue Santa looks on with glee. When they make it to Christmas number 4, Sleigh’s mother has prepared a large Christmas feast which they all eat happily and then leave for their next visit. After they leave, Sleigh’s mother is clearing the leftover food away when she finds a small present left on the table, she unwraps it and finds a small bottle of brandy. She takes a swig and immediately drops down dead. Poison wrapped with a red bow.

When they get to their aunt’s house she had invited a number of the other widowed military spouses to join them. They are all singing around the fire for a short while before they decide they need to get to their cousin Jeffrey's. After they leave Blue Santa enters the home and shoots them all. Deciding to take a more direct approach this time, but he had missed Jingle once again. Jeffrey was already talking about the PhD he had just finished a few moments into their arrival. After an hour of Jeffrey telling the family of his study on Christmas’s origins and how he theorised that it would need Santa’s own magic to rejoin the two, they decided to leave, not buying into the myth of the two Santas. Red Santa came down Jeffrey’s chimney and into his home. Rather than be afraid, Jeffrey was so excited that he began to interview Red Santa. Red Santa became so annoyed by him that he threw him into the unlit fireplace and he was fired up and out of the chimney As Silver, Sleigh, and Jingle reached their street they came across the Salvation Army man still ringing his bell in the street, although something seemed a little off with him. As they drew closer they noticed that he had gone very pale and had an awful smell about him. He turned to face them started to moan and had a glazed look in his eyes. Sleigh remarked that he thought he had hit the Christmas Whiskey a bit too hard this year and was best to leave him to it. When they returned home they went to open their presents around the tree, saving the last bit of Christmas for themselves. At that moment there was a large explosion in the distance and all in one moment Jingle was enveloped in white light and burning heat. When the light was gone, everything around them was destroyed and burning from a nuclear explosion. Jingle had no idea how they were still alive. The Santas appeared before Jingle, shocked that they were still alive. Jingle vowed to stop the Santas if it was the last thing they ever did. Years passed as the Santas ruled the broken world, with Jingle unaging, researching how to defeat them.

Now as the last living beings on earth must try to stop the Santas. Gay the last elf, Ruby the Reindeer with red laser eyes, and Jingle, the bisexual, non-binary, last human. The human population had all been zombified and the only way to revive them is to rejoin the two Santas. Jingle was in love with both Ruby and Gay, but would not let this distract from their mission. Along their journey, the Santas tried to thwart them by triggering a virgin pregnancy in Jingle, but they didn’t let this stop them. When they finally reached the two Santas Jingle gave birth to a baby who they named Jesus. Jesus was born with some of the Christmas magic and combined the two Santa’s back together. Jingle, Gay and Ruby then lived happily as a polyamorous couple, knowing that they saved the world and raised the baby together.

As people heard and told the story of how Jesus saved Christmas the story became warped until someone wrote the version they had heard in a book. By the time this was written the details had changed somewhat. Gay was now Joseph, Jingle was now Mary, and Ruby was a donkey who carried them. The legend of Santa became an entirely separate story, but they both still ruminated around this one day. December 25th.

[sapphichalo]

Hi lovely! For the Quarantine Asks: 1, 4, 22, and 35! Hope you're having a good day!! x

hey darl! thank you 🥰

1. Animated character that was your gay awakening? hdjsksh all of them? bratz, winx club, totally spies, kim possible and shego, betty boop, elastagirl and the other chick from the incredibles, it’s all an accumulation 😳

4. Your go-to bar order? uhhh a vodka lemonade or vodka soda, sometimes i just do shots hdjsksh, if i’m out with certain mates we do bottles of wine

22. What was your phase when you were younger? i went through so many, harry potter was my main one, but also mythology, and mythological creatures specifically, i loved dragons and mermaids and fairies a lot, plus all the legends and different monsters!

35. You have to get one meme tattooed on your body, what meme is it and where does it go? hdjsksj id probably get an outline of the lady screaming at the cat, somewhere on my back, but i’d be down to get another one if someone dared me tbh

[melodiouswhite]

J&H/Tam Lin crossover or How To Steal A Fae’s Boyfriend

(A/N: Due to popular demand, I have given into the temptation of writing a crossover of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde with a well-known Scottish folk tale. And it’s a modern AU, because I can. So here you go, I hope you like it! :D

tw: sexual coersion and abuse. Also, Utterson is a trans guy and I probably didn’t get that right)

Gabriel had heard the stories, of course he had.

Of course he had heard the warning, that he shouldn't go there without bringing a cloak or ring as a token, lest something entirely else would be taken from him.

But being a young man in the 21st century, he had thought it was just old folk tales.

Who the hell took a green cloak or a ring to a forest, just for the purpose of leaving it there?

And so he had thought nothing of it, when he had gone into the woods of Carterhaugh without bringing either.

It was his property, after all. His family had acquired the surrounding lands and given the woods to him.

So here he was, walking through the woods with nothing but a book, a pocketknife (you never knew) and his smartphone, when he saw something odd: a saddled white steed was grassing at a well, generally minding her own business. But where was her owner?

Hesitantly, he stepped closer to the horse.

She wasn't disturbed by his presence and stood completely still, when he gently petted her and examined the saddle and bridal. Such a magnificent creature.

But the saddle and bridal looked so elaborate and fancy, they couldn't be from anywhere nearby. Actually, he had never seen anything like it.

Strange, he thought and decided to walk further into the woods. Perhaps he could find the person the steed belonged to.

But when he looked around, it was already dusk.

Huh. Had he really been here for that long?

He changed his mind and turned to go home.

After walking for a few minutes, he stumbled over a path where wild roses grew.

That wasn't here before …

Normally Gabriel wasn't the rose type of guy.

But never before had he seen anything like this. They were so ineffably beautiful, bright and radiant, that he had to take a closer look.

One particularly caught his eye; a white double-headed rose.

This one would be beautiful in my home, he thought, pulled out his pocketknife and carefully cut it off the bush.

But before he could tug it into his jacket, someone cleared their throat behind him.

He gasped in shock and whirled around.

There stood an otherworldly handsome young man dressed in green.

He was tall, well-built, broad-shouldered, had wheat blond hair and chocolate brown eyes. His skin was paler than his own, but not too much, just that perfect, healthy and rosy complexion.

The young man was frowning.

“What are you doing here in Carterhaugh?”, he asked in the most gorgeous voice Gabriel had ever heard. “Why do you cut off the roses? Haven't you heard the stories?”

The black-haired man could only blush and stutter.

After a while, the blond seemed to grow impatient. “Can you articulate yourself, please? I would like an explanation as to why you strolled in here like you own the place.”

Now Gabriel finally pulled himself together.

“Actually, I do own the place. My parents bought the land and gave the woods to me”, he informed the other man calmly. “And therefore, I don't see why I should need your permission to be here.”

The handsome stranger shrugged indifferently. “Really now. Well, I regret to inform you, that this is my realm and the laws of this world mean little to me. Now, did you know the story or no?”

“You mean the story of Tam Lin? Yes, but I assumed that, if they were true, he would be straight. And I'm not a girl.”

The blond shook his head and laughed (the loveliest laugh Gabriel had ever heard, but that wasn't the point): “As you can see, I'm very real. And I don't care about what your sex is.”

This was just surreal.

He was talking to a folk tale character, who turned out to be – waaaaaiiiitaminute!

“Okay, hold it! Just to make this clear: I just stepped into a magical forest, you're Tam Lin and because I didn't bring a ring or a green cloak – whatever you need them for – I won't get out of here, before you get something else from me?!”

“Pretty much.”

Normally, the black-haired man would've thought this was just a sick joke.

But the person in front of him obviously wasn't of this world. The entire forest wasn't normal and the roses definitely weren't. It was so plain that even a sceptic like him had to acknowledge it. So in other words, he was trapped in some kind of magical forest with someone who wouldn't let him go, unless-

The stranger, seeming to sense his discomfort, spoke up, “Listen, Gabriel John Utterson-”

He knows my name?!

“-how about you give me your smartphone instead? Then you come back tomorrow with a ring or cloak to get it back? I believe, that you thought it was just old tales, but this is still a faerie forest. I can't let you go without a tribute of some kind. And the phone is the second most precious thing you have, after your innocence.”

“How do you know about smartphones anyway?”

The blond shrugged. “You'd be surprised at how up to date the Fae are. Makes it easier for them to mess with humans these days.”

“Oh, okay. And I really can't get out of here without leaving anything?”

“Well, you can try, but this forest is enchanted, so you'd just keep running in circles.”

Gabriel thought for a moment.

It was nice of the ghost/elf/faerie/whatever he was to try and accommodate him.

But there was something about that guy that awakened something in him.

“You know what? Screw it. Off with your clothes, you virginity-stealing creep! Chop-chop, I don't have all night!”

“W-wait, what?!”

“You heard me!”, he snapped and began to undress. “Now hurry up. I'm a gay, frustrated 23-years-old, you're hot and I don't like the folks around here!”

“Okay, this is unexpected. No one has ever actually-”

“Well, it's about time then, isn't it?”, Gabriel snapped and threw away his shirt, “Now what part of 'I don't have all night' did you not understand? I'm a lawyer, I have to go to work early tomorrow!”

Tam Lin – or whatever that man's name was – chuckled and began to take off his own clothes.

“Why, if I didn't know better, I'd think you came here because of the legend.”

“If I had known that this forest actually was haunted by a sexy ghost, I would have!”

Tam Lin snorted: “You wouldn't be the first. But …”

Gabriel felt his cheeks heat up, when the blond's chocolate brown eyes wandered up and down his body. And he felt a little uncomfortable, when they lingered on the chest binder he was still wearing.

“You're the loveliest person I've ever met.”

“R-really? So you don't mind that I'm-?”

“Did I call you by your dead name?”, the blond replied and shook his head. “No. If you identify as a man, you're a man. Whether your biology corresponds with that or not doesn't matter.”

Gabriel felt a lump in his throat and swallowed it.

“This is fine”, he whispered hoarsely, took off the binder and lay down.

“Certainly is”, Tam Lin agreed and followed.

Gabriel shuddered, when the other let his hands wander over his tanned skin.

“You really are quite handsome”, the blond murmured.

The black-haired man smiled and dared to steal a kiss.

…

“Wow”, Gabriel breathed, when they were done and getting dressed. “This was wonderful! If that's what I get for coming here without a token, I should do it more often. Uhm …” he blushed awkwardly. “… You wouldn't mind, right?”

“I …” To his surprise Tam Lin also blushed. “I would love to see you again”, he admitted quietly and took his hand.

…

When Gabriel went home, he felt like he was walking on air.

Never in his life had he been so happy and he wondered, if this could be love.

Later, as he lay in bed and the flowers were in vases, he thought about what had happened today.

He fell asleep smiling and remembering what the elven knight had said, when they had parted.

“You're the only rose that still grows fairer after being plucked.”

How theatrical …

…

When he returned to the enchanted glen, Tam Lin was waiting for him.

After spending an hour of passion, they sat beside each other at the well and talked, while the white steed was grassing nearby.

He went home with another bouquet of flowers and feeling just as blissful as the first time.

In the following weeks, he continued to see the mysterious blond.

He found himself falling for him more and more.

But then things became problematic.

First off, Tam Lin listened with interest, when Gabriel talked about himself. But he became oddly cagey, when the black-haired man asked him to talk about himself too.

Why was the blond so secretive?

Worse, his father and grandmother had noticed that something was up and now they wouldn't leave him alone about who “the lucky guy” was. But how was he supposed to tell them that he was sleeping with a mysterious elf from a haunted forest? Not to mention, when he knew next to nothing about him? 

What was their relationship status anyway? Were they dating? Or was he just a fling to the other man?

Damn, he didn't like how uncertain everything was!

And to add insult to injury, he hadn't thought about using contraceptive measures and guess what, he was pregnant! How could he have been so careless?! Now he was carrying a child he wasn't ready for!

He cursed his own stupidity and desperately hoped, that no one would find out.

…

Of course he wasn't that lucky.

It was Sunday, 31st October, when his father found out.

To Mr. Utterson's credit, he didn't freak out as much as Gabriel had feared. Instead he just took a deep breath and demanded to know who was responsible for this.

That made Gabriel really angry. “The only one who's responsible for this baby is me! Oh, and my boyfriend who lives in the woods.”

“What?!”

After an argument, he persuaded his father not to press charges.

(“I'm going to call a lawyer!” - “Dad, I am that lawyer!” - “Oh. Right.”)

But now he was upset and needed to be somewhere else. So he ran back to Carterhaugh and somehow ended up in the enchanted glen, as usual. There he crawled behind a rose bush and cried.

This was just too much.

He was a pregnant man, who wasn't prepared to care for a child, the entire situation was just so muddled and he didn't know what to do!

Although … there was an emergency exit, he suddenly realised.

He had been sleeping with Tam Lin for about two months, so he could be no further on than that.

It wasn't too late for a safe abortion …

“Wait, please.”

He jumped, when Tam Lin appeared before him.

“Gabriel”, the blond said gently and crouched down before him, “I know that you're desperate and overwhelmed, but please consider; it's my child just as much as it's yours.”

“You can say that so easily”, he sobbed, “You're not the one carrying the baby! You could just as well run off and pretend that you never knocked up some unfortunate human, while I'd be stuck with a child I wasn't ready for! You can go off to faerie land and do whatever elves or faeries do, but I can't work as a lawyer and take care of a baby all by myself! And what will I say, when they ask me who the father is? That it's some elf bloke from an enchanted forest, who will never be with me, because I'm just some insignificant human, who will grow old and die?!”

The blond looked beyond hurt. “Is that what you think of me?”, he asked in disbelief, “Do you really think that I would be so heartless and irresponsible?!”

“I don't know!”, Gabriel wailed. “I don't know anything about you! Not even your real name! You can't convince me that Tam Lin is actually your name! I'm pregnant and the father is a man I know nothing about, because he never bothered to tell me anything about himself!”

Tam Lin was silent for a while. But he looked so sad, that the black-haired man almost regretted snapping at him. Almost. Gabriel was in the right and they both knew it.

“You're right”, the blond finally sighed. “I should have been more open. But I chose to be a coward instead and kept my mouth shut, because I feared that you would be disgusted and want nothing more to do with me.”

Gabriel stared at him. “What gave you that idea?”

The blond sat down next to him. “You will understand, once I have told you my story.

First you need to know that I'm not actually an elf or faerie, like you thought. I'm human like you. I'm not even the first Tam Lin to haunt these woods. Although that should be clear, because the legend is older than I.

My real name is – was – Henry Jekyll. I was a medical student and my lifestyle was … well, not exactly proper. When my parents found out that I had slept with both men and women, they threw me out. I needed a while to find a steady place to live and it happened to be the farm you live on now. Then WWI happened, I was sent off to France and returned to Scotland as a shell shocked* war veteran.

One year after the war ended, I was taking a stroll through the woods and decided, that climbing that oak over there would be a good idea (don't ask). And wouldn't you know it, I fell off and right into the arms of the Queen of the Fae, who took me to the kingdom under the hill, where the Fae live. He (and yes, the Queen is a he) made me his consort and named me after the real Tam Lin, to loosen my ties to the human world. Do you see the ring on my finger? It's a magical chain. As long as I belong to him, it won't come off.

You know, Gabriel, most people have a completely wrong image of faeries. They're not like those cute tiny pixies from children's books. Even the more benevolent Fae are dangerous and the ones I live with aren't benevolent. They are Unseelies**, mischievous at best and outright evil at worst. They assault humans and make them suffer for their entertainment. And if they like one, they steal them away and keep them as slaves for all eternity. Mostly children, because they're purer and easier to lure.”

“But the Queen of the Fae is one of the nicer ones, right?”, Gabriel asked hopefully.

Tam Lin – no, Henry Jekyll – stared at him.

Then he broke into a horrible cackle: “One of the nicer ones?! Him! I've been there for a century and I never met a faerie worse than him! He has hundreds of child slaves and abuses them to his heart's content – that is, if he had a heart! One day we went on a walk and there was a big puddle. Of course he didn't want to get his robes dirty. And do you know what he did?! He ordered a 9-year-old boy to lay down and make a bridge, and then he just walked over him! And he was going to do it again, when we went back on the same path. But I lay down and had him walk over me instead. Then I called him out and he would have struck me, if the Queen Dowager hadn't stepped in. She's one of the less malevolent Unseelies and the only one he respects.”

Gabriel gasped in horror. “That's awful”, he whispered. “Oh my god!”

Henry sighed and continued: “Yeah. Well, I guess he was somewhat impressed, because he stopped with the child trampling altogether. The upside is that I can use my privileges to try to be a good influence on him. I try my best to be kind to him, because … well, there must be a reason why he is like that. But he never lets me forget that I'm just a toy to him. And do you know what the sickest part of this is? I like it. The way he smirks at me, talks to me, touches me, makes me melt like butter. When I share his bed, he bites me, scratches me, bruises me and whispers hurtful things into my ear and I can't get enough of it.

At first I thought that he had bewitched me. But when I confronted him, he laughed and said that it wasn't necessary, I'm just that corrupted. I didn't want to believe it, but the Fae don't lie, not even the evil ones. That's their one redeeming quality.”

Gabriel felt his heart ache and touched the other's cheek. “I'm sure, it's not true”, he tried to comfort him, “He just said that to hurt you. I've seen that kind of people, they know how to take away people's sense of self-worth.”

Henry just lowered his head. “It doesn't matter. After being there for a hundred years, I'm starting to forget who I was. The Queen Dowager told me that I can be saved, as long as I preserve my humanity by remembering who I am. But there are so many things I want to forget and the more faerie-like I become, the more power the Queen holds over me.

Anyway, I had come to terms with spending eternity as his slave. But then I found out, that the Fae have some sort of obligation. Every seven years on Halloween, they pay a tithe to hell. Of course they won't sacrifice one of their own, if they have humans to use instead. This year I'll be the sacrifice. When I found out, I didn't even care, because hell can't be much worse than my life so far. But then … then I met you.”

The blond smiled at him so tenderly, that he felt his heart flutter and his stomach went fuzzy (and not from nausea).

“I've never met someone like you before. You walked into my life and it was as if the sun was rising for me. Suddenly I had someone waiting for me here and something to look forward to. You made me feel warm, at peace and most of all … you made me feel loved.”

His smile faded. “That's why I was afraid of telling you the truth. That the man you have slept with – the father of your child – is the whore of a psychopathic Fae Queen and will be sacrificed to hell tonight. Can you still look me in the eyes and say that you're not disgusted?”

Gabriel cupped his face and looked him dead in the eyes.

“I'm not disgusted. Why would I be? No one deserves this kind of life. And how could I not want to have anything to do with you? I never knew that I needed someone else in my life, until I met you. You make me happier than I've ever been. What you just told me changes nothing about this. Actually, it just makes me want you more. I will keep our child, but only if I can have you too. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, make you feel happy, safe and loved. I love you, Henry Jekyll.”

He was surprised at how easily those words came out of his mouth.

But it was the honest truth.

Henry stared at him. Then he burst into tears and hugged him tightly.

…

“We have to figure something out quickly”, Gabriel spoke up, when they both had calmed down enough. “You will not be sacrificed to hell tonight! There must be a way to prevent this!”

The blond thought for a moment. “Hmm … now that I think about it, there is a way for you to win me.”

Gabriel's sky blue eyes filled with determination. “Tell me.”

“Alright”, Henry said seriously, “Listen closely …”

…

After a short trip home, he had come back to wait for the faerie procession.

Now he was hidden between the bushes, wearing a green coat he had borrowed from his father.

He was incredibly tense.

When was it finally midnight?

Couldn't the procession show up already?

Well, at least it wasn't raining.

At last green lights appeared at the end of the path and grew bigger.

The procession had arrived.

Finally!

He crept behind a bush and got into position.

Figures came into view.

In the front a small, dark-haired faerie with a crown, riding a black horse.

The next was a yellow-haired faerie on a brown horse.

But he ignored them and concentrated on the man riding the white steed.

Without a moment's hesitation, he grabbed him by the arm and yanked him out of the saddle.

The two riders before him whirled around, when Henry yelped in shock.

When the dark-haired faerie saw, that Gabriel was holding the blond in his arms, he screeched in outrage: “HOW DARE YOU TAKE WHAT'S MINE!!!”

And promptly transformed the man in Gabriel's arms into a lizard.

Then a snake.

Then a bear.

Then a lion.

But all the while Gabriel remembered what Henry had told him:

“As I'm the father of your child, there will be no way for me to harm you. So whatever they turn me into, don't let go. You have nothing to fear.”

So he didn't let go, not even when the Queen of the Fae turned his lover into a chunk of red-hot iron. It was only when the Queen turned him into a blazing flame, that he promptly dumped him into a conveniently located well nearby.

Now Henry emerged from the water as himself, but naked and now obviously a normal human. Gabriel quickly bundled him up in his coat and hugged him protectively. The blond stuck out his hands and tested, if he could take the ring off. It slipped from his finger effortlessly.

The Queen, seeing that he held no more power over him, shrieked in fury and … wait, was that anguish?

But then the yellow-haired faerie with the ice-blue eyes – probably the Queen Dowager – put a hand on his shoulder from behind and said something in a language Gabriel didn't understand.

The dark-haired faerie took a deep breath and composed himself. Then he smiled grotesquely.

“Congratulations!”, he purred sardonically and his glowing acid green eyes were full of hatred. “You caught yourself one stately groom! Curse you, Gabriel John Utterson! May you suffer a horrible death! My fairest companion, taken away by a mere mortal man in a girl's body! And you!”, he turned to Henry, “If I had seen this night coming, I would have turned your eyeballs into wood!”

Henry glared at him and responded by throwing the ring at him.

The Queen of the Fae caught it and stared at the blond. For a second, his hateful, angry grimace slipped and Gabriel caught sight of something that looked suspiciously like grief.

The dark-haired faerie gave off one last terrible shriek and glared at the black-haired man.

“This is your fault! But do enjoy dealing with his issues and the bastard he put in you and think of me, when you gaze into his lovely brown eyes!”

Gabriel tightened his protective hug and snarled: “With all due respect, your Majesty, you're an arsehole and you brought this upon yourself! You abducted Henry and coerced him into becoming your sex slave, he owes you nothing!!!”

The Queen responded with a “Tsk!”, then turned his back on them and returned to continue the procession.

It was only after the figures were out of sight, that the two men relaxed.

Henry took the other's hand and kissed each finger. “My hero. My saviour. I am yours.”

Gabriel grinned. “Let's go home, you damsel in distress. It's cold and you're still wet and half naked. The next months will be busy. We're going to be parents and you'll need legal papers.”

“I know – wait, did you just call me a damsel in distress?!”

---

*shell shock - an old word for PTSD, used esp. for the war traumata of WWI soldiers

**Unseelie - “Unhallowed/Unholy”, a Northern/Middle English word for dark, malevolent faeries

[fyrapartnersearch]

original, percy jackson, pokemon, avatar, skyrim, fallout ;

I’m AJ! I lost a couple partners in the holiday craze, which is totally fine! Now I’m lookin’ for some RPs to head into the new year. If we had something lined up and things fell off the wagon, no sweat, just message me again and we can get the ball rolling again! :)

  For original settings: apocalyptic (zombie, disease, extinction event, whatever), supernatural (fantasy, urban, sci-fi, literally anything). For fandom universes: Percy Jackson, Pokemon, Avatar: The Last Airbender/Legend of Korra, Skyrim, and Fallout.

  Gonna run through my basic info and then onto the particulars. 💕

  ⥽ About Me ; ⥼

  • Name/Age ; AJ! 22! Finally!

  • Timezone ; CST! I don’t mind time differences, this is just so you know my general schedule.

  • Length ;  Depends on whether it’s novella or multi-paragraph. If m.para, around 3-5 minimum I guess? Novella would obviously be much longer.

  • Reply rate ; Varies depending on whether we’re doing multi-paragraph or novella. I can respond anywhere from every day to every other day or a few times a week to weekly depending on the writing style of the RP and my schedule.

  • OOC ;  I like getting to know my partners and sharing enthusiasm over our ideas and characters. Nothing hits quite like mutual investment! I like making playlists/pinboards/sending you videos or songs or memes that remind me of our characters!

  • Contact ; Strictly email for OOC and roleplay unless we’re using GDocs for the RP itself. You can find me at jackrabbitsonata@gmail.com.

  ⥽ On the lookout for ; ⥼

  • Doubling ; Not a deal-breaker!! I just prefer writing a cast of characters, so this is something that’s more of a bonus. Ideally we’ll double, but I’m down for writing just one character each. Let me know how ya feel about it!

  • Will only write MxM or FxF ; MxF’s not my cup of tea (I’m extremely picky with it, fellow gays u know how it is). If we’re writing a cast of characters then I’m fine with having an MxF side couple. And I STRICTLY write OCxOC! Canon characters won't be found anywhere near this stuff, folks!

  • 20+ ; Partner’s gotta be 20+ even if we don’t write anything explicitly adult! I’m outta my teens now and don’t have any interest in writing with them. Same goes for characters. It’s a 20+ zone for both partners and characters ‘round here, folks!

  ⥽ Yes! ; ⥼

  • Smut ;  I enjoy writing it, but it’s not a deal-breaker if you’d rather fade to black.  All characters will obviously be adults. I expect versatile characters in bed by default, that way we’ve got an even route for playing roles in bed. Admittedly this shifts a bit depending on the character I write but for the most part, yeah, I stick to verses.

  • Face claims ; Spent a huge chunk of my roleplaying years on tumblr (it was very over-the-top and flowery and weirdly formatted and grossly difficult to read, I know I know), so having a face for characters stuck with me. If you don’t have any of your own and want good resources to find a face, I’ve got some recommended sites I can throw at ya! Not a deal-breaker, though, and for certain fandoms (Pokemon, Avatar) I actually prefer not to use realistic face claims so we can just opt outta that when writing in these universes.

  • Depth & growth ; Not a fan of one-dimensional characters or characters who act the same from beginning to end! People change with experiences and the people around them, so this is to be expected. ESPECIALLY when doubling with a cast. I loooove complicated characters growing together.

  • Plotting & Worldbuilding ;  *For original settings/worlds! I’m not picky with this if we’re working with a canon setting, so if that’s what you’re looking for, we can skip this section. I run into loooads of folks who say they do this when they really don’t. We’re writing an entire world together, so there’s some degree of effort involved! I need specifics to use as a start-off point for the roleplay and a general outline for where the story’s going. RPs that are just random, spur of the moment with writing as we go on tend to burn out REALLY quickly for me. I know not a lot of people are into this, so I’m sorry about that.

  ⥽ No! ; ⥼

  • Single paragraphs ; I’m not too picky with a lot of length a lot of the time, I just don’t mesh well with people who don’t write more than that. Go ham. I like my responses meaty!

  • Limits ; Abuse, nonconsensual/sexual assault, pedophilia, incest (includes step-relations, adopted relations, and that figurative like if one character essentially raised another or they were raised as family), weird age gaps, BDSM, any kind of master/slave or dom/sub dynamics.

  As for the goods, I’ve laid ‘em all out for you here! Keep in mind that while all of these are fun on their own, I’m definitely the type of writer who’s into mixing and matching. Sci-fi apocalypse? Fantasy apocalypse? Fantasy supernatural stuff? Sci-fi fantasy? Sci-fi supernatural stuff? Supernatural apocalypse? Period settings? Literally whatever you could think of, I’ll give it a whirl. The particulars down below are just to get the ball rolling and catch some interest, some asterisks for current cravings but I’m soooooo honest when I say that I’d love to write anything down below and won’t shoot you down if you come at me with stuff. Hit me up with whatever you’d like!

    APOCALYPSE: My bread and butter! Bro. I’m all about the tense, harrowing, and especially gut-punching when it comes to how close people become to survive together in quiet moments of a world they used to know. I’m a big fan of zombies, so that’s my loose preference. I loved Black Summer on Netflix – the earlier episodes, at least, as well as The Last of Us. That’s the kind of vibe I favor with zombies/zombie-like creatures. But, ofc, an apocalypse can be anything! I love writing different takes on the genre since there’s so much to cover. Extinction event, pandemic, impact event, monsters/beasts, man-made, whatever. The more creative the apocalyptic setting, the better, so I’d love to bounce some ideas back and forth. Not too into a nuclear apocalypse setting, since that overlaps a lot with Fallout down below. I’ve also had some ideas of a futuristic/sci-fi apocalypse that I’d love to tell you all about if you’re interested!

  FANTASY***: High fantasy, low fantasy, medieval fantasy, urban fantasy, whatever. Love dragons, love magic, love weird fantasy flora, definitely love the classic prince/princess x knight or commoner schtick. You want prophecies? I’m game. You want elves? I’m game. You want steampunk? I’m game. You want none of that and wanna do something else? I’m game, baby. The possibilities are endless. I’ve had two particular ideas floatin’ around in my noggin lately: an apocalyptic-fantasy that takes place in a medieval fantasy realm wherein an ancient curse/plague erupts across the land with horrifying zombie-esque symptoms (obv with more fantasy elements than just that) that involves a quest to try and awaken a god or two OR some magic journey to the heart of it all and out and end to it, and a modern fantasy involving a run-down summer camp secluded deep in the woods. Two new counselors (our characters) start working there over the summer and things slowly unravel from there, either with faerie stuff involving replacing campers/staff (definitely aiming for the freaky horror faeries as opposed to like, beautiful or only slightly unnerving faeries) or the camp being run by a secret cult that sacrifices campers/staff.

  SUPERNATURAL/PARANORMAL***: Vampires and werewolves and demons, oh my! Can’t go wrong with horror, especially can’t go wrong with comedy-horror. I’m more of the type to prefer humans and supernatural beings together in a ragtag duo type of way as opposed to two supernatural beings, but anything’s cool in my book. Medieval/fantasy setting for a dark fairytale vibe, urban/modern supernatural beings slinking in the shadows outside of the human eye, supernatural sci-fi stuff, mysteries and danger lurking around every corner? Seriously, it’s a great genre! Any and everything is fantastic. I’ve got a loose concept of demons/the Underworld I’d like to get into revolving around a human accidentally summoning a demon or making a really poor deal with a demon and the eventual threat of the opposite effect (humans who work with angels/angels who clean up demonic stuff) since I’m struggling with the worldbuilding of it, so applying all that to a roleplay to give it a whirl sounds like a great way to work out the kinks. Plus, c’mon. Paranormal romance. End of the world. Flipping the script on angels and demons with the demons being “good” and the angels being “bad” but really there’s more nuance to that since they’re two sides of the same coin. What’s not to love there? I’m a sucker for human/demon relationships and/or human/angel relationships, what can I say!

  PERCY JACKSON*****: I haven’t ever roleplaying this verse before, so this is completely new grounds for me. I’ve seen some fun takes on it, though! Scoured older ads but haven’t reached out to anyone because the posting time’s pretty old, but a couple ideas I’ve skimmed through sound fun. HP got a period take on it, so why not put that spin on PJ with a period setting rather than in modern times? Or just a regular modern setting. Y’know, keep it classy, keep it sexy, keep it fun! I’m definitely interested in life outside of camp since they’d all be adults. Life’s supposed to suck for demigods, so let’s get into that. I’ve only read the first series but I’m game to read more or look over the Wikipedia if it suits your fancy! I’m REALLY looking for a PJ RP, seriously, message me.

  POKEMON: Man, I just… miss Pokemon, dude, what else can I say? :( I miss fun adventures and goofy scenarios and taking a more serious or realistic route with threats. I’ve got a couple of ideas from heists to evil Elite Four members to Poke-Jurassic Park, but I’d love to hear anything you’ve got in mind!

  AVATAR*****: Alright, not gonna beat around the bush, I had a killer post-Korra RP setting like a year ago that died off early on and now I’m kinda itching to put it back into action! Basically this whole thing just revolves around our own Avatar and world/conflicts. Something before Aang could be fun too? Or a couple Avatars past Korra? There’s so many routes we could take this! And so many things we could bring in! I had an Avatar marathon with my brother this weekend and I just miss this universe. I’ve never actually managed to RP it before, so I wanna remedy that!

  FALLOUT***: Played 3, watched various playthroughs of New Vegas, 4, and working on 1+2! I’m a recent fan and I’ve fallen head over heels for it! I’ve got ten prepped OCs for this universe so feel free to take your pic once we get into contact! :D I think it could be fun if we make our own setting for this, but I’m so down for piggybacking off canon settings. I love the Mojave in particular, but everything’s cool in my book. I’ve also got a couple plot ideas, so I can tell you all about ‘em when we get into things!

  SKYRIM***: Well I’m a new Fallout fan so it should come to NO surprise that I’m new to Skyrim too. I recently got into it after someone recommended it to me and I’m having a blast playing the game on the Switch! I don’t have any particular ideas but I’d love to dip into the water here and see what comes of it. I’ve got a couple character ideas already so if I manage to rope anyone into this universe I’ll be one happy camper.

[lextenou]

The Gayest Bunch of Songs I Ever Did Hear

AKA The Songs That Helped Lead to My Sexual Awakening.

I love music. I love having something playing in the background. I apparently know a lot of songs, if my record at pub quiz is any indication. In this spirit, I’ve curated this list of songs that mean something to me as part of my journey from child to adult.

Many a year ago, as but a spritely lad, I saw a movie. ‘Twas a rather pedestrian movie, all told, but well casted and well framed teen movie. What really threw it over the top was the blatantly “fuck you, I am in charge of me” feminist slant that the movie took. A baby Yeardley Smith was in it - notable as this was released three years before she would take on her lifetime role of Lisa Simpson. 

She was not what caught my eye and my burgeoning interest. No, that honor was reserved for the lead and namesake of the movie, Helen Slater. In her role as the confused and desperate teenager Billie Jean, Slater managed to create in me a respect for the autonomy of self, and a lifelong deep seated weakness for blondes with short hair. 

All told, The Legend of Billie Jean occupies a special place. Ostensibly inoffensive, it has as its crux the story of a girl who deals with unceasing, unrelenting soul crushing beatdowns of spirit. But then! In taking up protection for her brother, she finds in herself the will to stand up, fight, and demand what’s fair. Indeed, the mantra of “Fair is fair” rings throughout the movie, and the slimy douchebaggery of a crotch grabbing ass spelunking ephebophile attempting to convince her to accept payment in the form of his dick throws her past the breaking point. 

At which point there’s kidnapping and running from the law. 

The main song, and indeed, the theme of the movie is Pat Benatar’s “Invincible”. The video includes the standard clips from the movie, including scenes of Slater both before and after she cuts off her hair. Also, no, she and Christian are not actually brother and sister despite playing siblings in the movie.

I went through a lot of changes in 1999. Not the least of which was mourning the passing of the Prince song “1999″, I also had a magnificent few months in San Francisco, where I first listened to The Butches. Comprised of Kaia Wilson, Alison Martlew and Melissa York, they were iconic and pioneering. Every bit as much as Wilson’s first major band, Team Dresch, The Butchies managed to find an accessible and aggressive sound rooted firmly in dyke loving. 

Seeing them at San Francisco Pride remains a highlight of my life. 

While “Send Me You” is their most perfect song, “Sex (I’m a Lesbian)” was the first track from them that I ever ran across while silently tapping at my keyboard after everyone else had gone to bed. It’s frenetic energy rises and ebbs, bringing the listener to an abrupt crescendo that leaves you gasping. 

Much like an orgasm. 

Listening to The Butchies reminds me of a very simple adage: fuck ‘em. I owe no one an explanation for who I am. 

If you ever look them up, they are also quite attractive. I highly recommend it. 

The late 90′s had rather a zeitgeist of queer culture coming to the public. Peter Jackson’s Heavenly Creatures burst on the scene, leaving everyone stunned that such a horrific murder could be made into such a beautiful movie. Lillith Faire was touring - and releasing compilation albums. 

I had the chance to snag one of those compilation samplers. Lillith Fair 1998 New Music Sampler had as track three “Everything for Free” from K’s Choice. 

From the moment I first heard Sarah Betten’s voice, I was captivated. Fronting the band along with her brother Gert, The band took a break a year after Sarah came out in 2002. They have formed and re-formed in the years since, and her solo work was able to be heard in numerous places, including on queer shows. K’s Choice did also perform “Virgin State of Mind” on Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

It is difficult to say which era of the band, or which of her solo songs is my favorite. At different times, each one has spoken to me in different ways. “Stay” is a beautifully sweet and romantic mid tempo ballad. “Come Over Here” with its driving bass and drum simplicity gets stuck in the head incessantly. “Killing Dragons” has some of the best harmonies I’ve ever heard. “Hide” gets me through some incredibly dark times. 

watch me, I’m coming closer

I am the mood you’re in tonight...

The first song I heard, however, remains near the top of the list. It’s story is not initially complex until it becomes clear that the narrator may or may not require institutionalization. It may just be a gay kid, locked up because their parents don’t want to deal with learning who their child is. It may be someone who’s had a break from reality. Realizing that the narrator is unreliable throws the entire song off kilter and completely transforms it from a straightforward tale to layered and mysterious. 

To bring it full circle, K’s Choice did do a song based on Heavenly Creatures. It’s called “Winners”. 

we will be winners, our heads glued together

and all is indefinite in you

In 1992, Nakayoshi magazine printed the first act of Bishoujo Senshi SailorMoon, finishing in 1996. In August of 1993, Bishoujo Senshi SailorMoon Musical Gaidan Dark Kingdom Fukkatsu Hen was staged. For the next thirteen years, the musicals, or Myu as they are colloquially known, were staged. 

The Myu is notable for multiple reasons, not the least of which is that the original cast can be seen on an inside jacket of one of the issues of the original manga. They are canonical every bit as much as the anime is - though the Myu actually took Naoko Takeuchi’s direction. In the third story arc, the Infinity/Mugen/S arc, there are a couple new characters introduced. 

SailorUranus and SailorNeptune. 

They are always presented as a loving lesbian couple, so much so that directors have told the actresses to “Act like you’re married. You are a married couple.” In the Myu, this is seen much more than in other versions. The longest running actresses to play Uranus and Neptune were Nao Takagi and Asami Yuuhka. The two were fan favorites as well, leading to their roles being prominent in multiple musicals. The characters were also given multiple duets or group songs, all of which embraced fully their rampant lesbianism. Of these, the song that blew up the Myu fandom was “Destined Couple”.

A duet between Uranus and Neptune, it takes place as the closing of a fight between the senshi. They are admonishing SailorMoon that sacrifices must be made. The song is a powerful ballad that illustrates the love the two share, and their devotion to their mission of protection. 

Seeing these two for the first time, learning about the musicals and how downright blatant their representation is to this day...

It made me realize that I wasn’t alone. There were people who did feel the way I did, who did think similarly to how I did. It was possible to not be living according to the restrictive gendered norms that I grew up with. I could live as myself, be comfortable with myself, without apology.

Through SailorMoon and Myu fandom, I’ve met and made friends with more people than I ever would have imagined. The first time my wife came over to netflix and chill, the first thing she noticed was a Myu poster. I almost messed it up by correcting her that they’re not “scouts”. Everything went better than expected. 

I still have my Myu dvds. It’s almost time for a rewatch. I’m going to have a couple friends over and introduce them to Hikari Ono, the Lesbian Vampire Ninja Pirate. 

But first, the lesbian soldier love song. This version is a fanvid with Nao and Yuhka singing, but the video is of the current reboot, with Shuu and Sayaka. I chose this one because its subtitled. At the end, it switches to include Nao and Yuhka. 

I came out when I was a teenager. It was a difficult decision. I didn’t honestly know how my mother would take it. I knew she’d had close gay friends before, but I’m her kid. Would she kick me out? Would she stop loving me? Would she be able to accept me for who I am? I went to a record store and bought Melissa Etheridge’s “Yes I Am”. I put it on to play and sat my mother down. I told her. She was quiet for a while, then told me that she loved me and while it might take her a little bit to adjust, it was okay. Everything was okay. She hugged me as I cried in relief. I told her that I’d been worried. It was a catharsis I didn’t realize I needed. I’m significantly older now, and have been able to be there for my mother over the years. I am proud to call myself her kid, and she is proud to have me as her oldest. She loves and accepts me as I am. She told me more about her gay best friend in high school, who died of AIDS in the 80′s. I had always wondered why she’d gone to California when I was little, and why Dad was so upset about it.  When my sisters told Dad that I was out and proud and married to a woman, he put down his dinner fork and stared for a while. When I met up with him a few years later, he’d adjusted and was able to tell me he was happy for me and still loved me. 

I’ve never been shy about who I am. I’ve yelled at more than one person telling me I’m using the wrong bathroom. I surround myself now with good people, who love and respect me. I’m apparently able to make friends easily when we’re in bars and clubs, to my wife’s amusement. I don’t go to gay spaces much anymore. I spent my last birthday in our local Irish pub and made friends with a beer rep who is from the town that makes my all time favorite beer. I have no idea how many beers she bought me. It was magical. 

When I came out to my mother, I would have never imagined that my life now could possibly be the way it is. It is due to her strength and character that I am who I am and that I can stand up and be proud of who I am. 

In that spirit, I am including here “Mama, I’m Strange”. From Melissa Etheridge’s “Breakdown” album, this song resonates strongly with me. I find the message a powerful one, and the upbeat nature of the song lets me sink into the song without further thought. The first time I heard it, I sat stunned and remembered coming out to my mother. 

[laravural]

Passages from The Dream of a Ridiculous Man by Fyodor Dostoevsky

I am a ridiculous person. Now they call me a madman. That would be a promotion if it were not that I remain as ridiculous in their eyes as before. But now I do not resent it, they are all dear to me now, even when they laugh at me — and, indeed, it is just then that they are particularly dear to me. I could join in their laughter — not exactly at myself, but through affection for them, if I did not feel so sad as I look at them. Sad because they do not know the truth and I do know it. Oh, how hard it is to be the only one who knows the truth! But they won't understand that. No, they won't understand it.

I gave up caring about anything, and all the problems disappeared.

  And it was after that that I found out the truth. I learnt the truth last November — on the third of November, to be precise — and I remember every instant since.

  The sky was horribly dark, but one could distinctly see tattered clouds, and between them fathomless black patches. Suddenly I noticed in one of these patches a star, and began watching it intently. That was because that star had given me an idea: I decided to kill myself that night. It seemed clear to me that life and the world somehow depended upon me now. I may almost say that the world now seemed created for me alone: if I shot myself the world would cease to be at least for me. I say nothing of its being likely that nothing will exist for anyone when I am gone, and that as soon as my consciousness is extinguished the whole world will vanish too and become void like a phantom, as a mere appurtenance of my consciousness, for possibly all this world and all these people are only me myself.

  Dreams, as we all know, are very queer things: some parts are presented with appalling vividness, with details worked up with the elaborate finish of jewellery, while others one gallops through, as it were, without noticing them at all, as, for instance, through space and time. Dreams seem to be spurred on not by reason but by desire, not by the head but by the heart, and yet what complicated tricks my reason has played sometimes in dreams, what utterly incomprehensible things happen to it!

  Yes, I dreamed a dream, my dream of the third of November. They tease me now, telling me it was only a dream. But does it matter whether it was a dream or reality, if the dream made known to me the truth? If once one has recognized the truth and seen it, you know that it is the truth and that there is no other and there cannot be, whether you are asleep or awake. Let it be a dream, so be it, but that real life of which you make so much I had meant to extinguish by suicide, and my dream, my dream — oh, it revealed to me a different life, renewed, grand and full of power!

  I suddenly dreamt that I picked up the revolver and aimed it straight at my heart — my heart, and not my head; and I had determined beforehand to fire at my head, at my right temple. After aiming at my chest I waited a second or two, and suddenly my candle, my table, and the wall in front of me began moving and heaving. I made haste to pull the trigger.

  In dreams you sometimes fall from a height, or are stabbed, or beaten, but you never feel pain unless, perhaps, you really bruise yourself against the bedstead, then you feel pain and almost always wake up from it. It was the same in my dream. I did not feel any pain, but it seemed as though with my shot everything within me was shaken and everything was suddenly dimmed, and it grew horribly black around me. I seemed to be blinded, and it benumbed, and I was lying on something hard, stretched on my back; I saw nothing, and could not make the slightest movement.

  On our earth we can only love with suffering and through suffering. We cannot love otherwise, and we know of no other sort of love. I want suffering in order to love. I long, I thirst, this very instant, to kiss with tears the earth that I have left, and I don't want, I won't accept life on any other!"

  The children of the sun, the children of their sun — oh, how beautiful they were! Never had I seen on our own earth such beauty in mankind. Only perhaps in our children, in their earliest years, one might find, some remote faint reflection of this beauty. The eyes of these happy people shone with a clear brightness. Their faces were radiant with the light of reason and fullness of a serenity that comes of perfect understanding, but those faces were gay; in their words and voices there was a note of childlike joy. Oh, from the first moment, from the first glance at them, I understood it all! It was the earth untarnished by the Fall; on it lived people who had not sinned. They lived just in such a paradise as that in which, according to all the legends of mankind, our first parents lived before they sinned; the only difference was that all this earth was the same paradise. These people, laughing joyfully, thronged round me and caressed me; they took me home with them, and each of them tried to reassure me. Oh, they asked me no questions, but they seemed, I fancied, to know everything without asking, and they wanted to make haste to smoothe away the signs of suffering from my face.

  Well, granted that it was only a dream, yet the sensation of the love of those innocent and beautiful people has remained with me for ever, and I feel as though their love is still flowing out to me from over there. I have seen them myself, have known them and been convinced; I loved them, I suffered for them afterwards. Oh, I understood at once even at the time that in many things I could not understand them at all ... But I soon realised that their knowledge was gained and fostered by intuitions different from those of us on earth, and that their aspirations, too, were quite different.

  They desired nothing and were at peace; they did not aspire to knowledge of life as we aspire to understand it, because their lives were full. But their knowledge was higher and deeper than ours; for our science seeks to explain what life is, aspires to understand it in order to teach others how to love, while they without science knew how to live; and that I understood, but I could not understand their knowledge.

  They showed me their trees, and I could not understand the intense love with which they looked at them; it was as though they were talking with creatures like themselves. And perhaps I shall not be mistaken if I say that they conversed with them. Yes, they had found their language, and I am convinced that the trees understood them. They looked at all Nature like that — at the animals who lived in peace with them and did not attack them, but loved them, conquered by their love. They pointed to the stars and told me something about them which I could not understand, but I am convinced that they were somehow in touch with the stars, not only in thought, but by some living channel.

  They had no temples, but they had a real living and uninterrupted sense of oneness with the whole of the universe; they had no creed, but they had a certain knowledge that when their earthly joy had reached the limits of earthly nature, then there would come for them, for the living and for the dead, a still greater fullness of contact with the whole of the universe. They looked forward to that moment with joy, but without haste, not pining for it, but seeming to have a foretaste of it in their hearts, of which they talked to one another.

  They sang the praises of nature, of the sea, of the woods. They liked making songs about one another, and praised each other like children; they were the simplest songs, but they sprang from their hearts and went to one's heart. And not only in their songs but in all their lives they seemed to do nothing but admire one another. It was like being in love with each other, but an all-embracing, universal feeling.

  Oh, everyone laughs in my face now, and assures me that one cannot dream of such details as I am telling now, that I only dreamed or felt one sensation that arose in my heart in delirium and made up the details myself when I woke up. And when I told them that perhaps it really was so, my God, how they shouted with laughter in my face, and what mirth I caused! Oh, yes, of course I was overcome by the mere sensation of my dream, and that was all that was preserved in my cruelly wounded heart; but the actual forms and images of my dream, that is, the very ones I really saw at the very time of my dream, were filled with such harmony, were so lovely and enchanting and were so actual, that on awakening I was, of course, incapable of clothing them in our poor language, so that they were bound to become blurred in my mind; and so perhaps I really was forced afterwards to make up the details, and so of course to distort them in my passionate desire to convey some at least of them as quickly as I could. But on the other hand, how can I help believing that it was all true? It was perhaps a thousand times brighter, happier and more joyful than I describe it. Granted that I dreamed it, yet it must have been real. You know, I will tell you a secret: perhaps it was not a dream at all!

  How it could come to pass I do not know, but I remember it clearly. The dream embraced thousands of years and left in me only a sense of the whole. I only know that I was the cause of their sin and downfall. Like a vile trichina, like a germ of the plague infecting whole kingdoms, so I contaminated all this earth, so happy and sinless before my coming. They learnt to lie, grew fond of lying, and discovered the charm of falsehood.

  All became so jealous of the rights of their own personality that they did their very utmost to curtail and destroy them in others, and made that the chief thing in their lives. Slavery followed, even voluntary slavery; the weak eagerly submitted to the strong, on condition that the latter aided them to subdue the still weaker. Then there were saints who came to these people, weeping, and talked to them of their pride, of their loss of harmony and due proportion, of their loss of shame. They were laughed at or pelted with stones.

  Alas! I always loved sorrow and tribulation, but only for myself, for myself; but I wept over them, pitying them. I stretched out my hands to them in despair, blaming, cursing and despising myself. I told them that all this was my doing, mine alone; that it was I had brought them corruption, contamination and falsity. I besought them to crucify me, I taught them how to make a cross. I could not kill myself, I had not the strength, but I wanted to suffer at their hands. I yearned for suffering, I longed that my blood should be drained to the last drop in these agonies. But they only laughed at me, and began at last to look upon me as crazy. They justified me, they declared that they had only got what they wanted themselves, and that all that now was could not have been otherwise. At last they declared to me that I was becoming dangerous and that they should lock me up in a madhouse if I did not hold my tongue. Then such grief took possession of my soul that my heart was wrung, and I felt as though I were dying; and then . . . then I awoke.

  I go to spread the tidings, I want to spread the tidings — of what? Of the truth, for I have seen it, have seen it with my own eyes, have seen it in all its glory.

 I have seen the truth; I have seen and I know that people can be beautiful and happy without losing the power of living on earth. I will not and cannot believe that evil is the normal condition of mankind. And it is just this faith of mine that they laugh at. But how can I help believing it? I have seen the truth — it is not as though I had invented it with my mind, I have seen it, seen it, and the living image of it has filled my soul for ever. I have seen it in such full perfection that I cannot believe that it is impossible for people to have it.

 A dream! What is a dream? And is not our life a dream? I will say more. Suppose that this paradise will never come to pass (that I understand), yet I shall go on preaching it. And yet how simple it is: in one day, in one hour everything could be arranged at once! The chief thing is to love others like yourself, that's the chief thing, and that's everything; nothing else is wanted — you will find out at once how to arrange it all. And yet it's an old truth which has been told and retold a billion times — but it has not formed part of our lives! The consciousness of life is higher than life, the knowledge of the laws of happiness is higher than happiness — that is what one must contend against. And I shall. If only everyone wants it, it can be arranged at once.

[korenlesthe]

Writing & stuff (Part 1)

So, I think it's time i use this blog for what it is : a blog ! Note : all french terms will be translated in parenthesis.

Writing : how it all started I'm a french writer, almost 40yo, gay, soon to be "Pacsé" (PACS) to my lovely Marine boyfriend (French Navy). Since I was a child I wanter to tell stories but at the time, i couldn't even try, too affraid and never had enough motivation.

Like a lot of people, videogames played a big part in my inspirations. One of the very first game that made me think about how deep a story could be was The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening for the Nintendo GameBoy. I was around 10 years old when I got the game and, as a kid, it blew me away (the ending still brings tears to my eyes 29 years later).

It was so different to everything I played so far on the Amstrad CPC & Amiga. And the first one to make me cry at the end. Not long after that, my brother got a Super Nintendo and I got The Legend of Zelda: A Link To The Past for my birthday and it unlocked something in me : medieval setting, magic, swords, secrets, exploration... basically everything I loved.

And a few years after that, my brother brought what probably motivated me the most to start telling stories : Secret of Mana (Seiken Densetsu 2 in Japan). I vividly remember when my brother started the game, a loud yet distant cry of a monster is heard while the "Nintendo" & "Squaresoft" logos appears. I said "Wow". My sister said "Why do you 'wow' ? There's nothing !" but then the title screen appeared with the amazing theme song "Fear of the Heavens" by Hiroki Kikuta. I knew there was something more than just the roar of a powerful creature on a black screen.

This game even made me fall in love with dragons ; I loved calling "Flammy" the dragon to fly all around the massive world, always felt sad to kill a dragon to advance the story and even the final one. I didn't knew back then "why" I loved dragons ; I just loved their design, how majestic they looked, and wondered what their stories was, why were they attacking the heroes while Flammy was helping us etc.

Off course, other games added their stone like Breath of Fire III from Capcom, Illusion of Time (Illusion of Gaia in the US), Terranigma, Secret of Evermore and so many more... even games like Metroid and Turrican, two of my most beloved franchises.

I finally started working on my first book : "Denaris I : Le Mot Oublié" (Denaris I: The Forgotten Word) -Note : The title of the first volume was originally "Les Seigneur d'Yseïr" (Lords of Yseir)- in August 2003 (the 08/06/2003 to be exact). It went throught publishing for the first time on the 6th of February 2010 but after my publisher lied to me (no corrections, never read the manuscrit, published the unfinished version instead of the one I completed) and tried to keep selling the books after I ordered their destruction, I got my rights back and took a break. I came back to work on it in January 2011 but I was never satisfied and I left the first volume in a corner to work on the second and third volumes. Then, between 2015 and 2019, I managed to fix the whole first volume.

It was exhausting and massively crushed my motivation. Feeling that I would never write again if I kept working on the first or even the other three volumes, I started another story, more or less linked to Denaris, in a different setting.

Another world, another story

I felt the urge to write something that was NOT about Denaris but yet, always wanted to link both stories, just with a few characters and never, ever force anyone to have read a story to understand the other. Denaris was medieval fantasy, so the next story would be its exact opposite : science fiction with a little bit of cyberpunk.

Thus, Soleil Lirien : Contrôle Total (Lirian Sun: Full Control) was born... but I couldn't even start the damn thing ! I was always fumbling around with the main character : A man ? Ok, another one. Probably gay. What's his story ? Linked to one of the characters from Denaris ? But if I do so, I'll have to tell everything to get to the point where it makes sense in both Denaris and Lirian Sun...

It went like that for a long time until I started watching "The Jimquisition" by James Stephanie Sterling. While I loved the show (and still do), the opening song of their show clicked right away with me. "I love the style and the lyrics", I thought. I searched for the artist, "DrillQueen" and looked at the cover art of her album and "voilà". I instantly knew what I wanted to do. Who would become the main character of Lirian Sun.

Jenneth McGuire was born this day and my brain became filled with lots of ideas. Working on Lirian Sun helped me so much, it made me like writing again. It made me cry, smile and laugh and care so much about the characters. This is also during this moment that I became much more aware of a lot of things I was very late to, like supporting Trans people (and I would like to thanks again James Stephanie Sterling and Laura Kate Dale for everything).

Thank God for them.

End of part 1. Coming soon : what went wrong, how not to write a book (aka : every mistake I did), motivation, troubles, characters, stories... I think I'll use this blog to talk about Lirian Sun & Denaris in the near future. If I'm confident enough, I might talk more about me but that's clearly something I'm not ready yet.