#the leather jacket motif is so important btw

[zxmbe3]

Something about dean being alone for the first time in his life affects me so badly. Because for so long it had been him and the family he spent so long protecting.

He had no identity outside of Sam and John. What are you supposed to do when your identity is stripped from you like that and all youre left with is a longing for a family that you never really had ?

Like I’m just imagining dean, hardly in his 20s, floating through towns in a leather jacket far too big With responsibilities far too Heavy in his pockets. Dean hunting alone and not knowing what to do when he goes back to an empty hotel room and having to stitch up his own wounds. His eyes still so hopeful, hoping that things will go back the way they were.

Flirting with women he didn’t really want Because he’d do anything but Go back to his room with one bed and nothing but the ghosts of the life he could have had. Driving past Stanford and wondering how much happier Sam must be. Driving in the Impala and wondering if his dad is happy without him too.

Like i cant Even begin tk Wonder how isolating and lonely it is Because he’s lost Everything. He’d Esther have something that caused him pain than habe nothing at all.

And when he does get his family back and he realizes that it will never be like how he pictured it in his head, when he finally takes off those rose colored glasses ? He’s left with nothing. Again.