#the least they can do is warn us about it
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Hey remember this? I do, so here's the proof
TRIGGER WARNING: UGLY ASS DRAWINGS FROM WHEN I WAS A PRE-TEEN AND LORE DROP
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These are some of the first appearances of Joaquín, my "male version". He got his name after what my mom was gonna name me if i was born a boy
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I had made a chart explaining all the different characters that were divisions of myself (cuz there were a lot) and here is Joaquín, who was not only my male version but also my self-esteem
Worth noticing: no, i don't have split personality or any kind of similar conditions, i was just a weird kid and i thought it was cool to give names and faces to different sides of myself, i haven't done that ever since, most of them didn't even survive past 2019, expect for him
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His "presence" grew stronger in the start of the quarantine, cuz i was bored and very lonely :(, so he was basically an imaginary friend, that's why i usually drew him just hanging out with me (longer hair, pre-trans lol)
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This is ME when i decided to cut all my hair off, wich is when i started questioning my gender, at this point i thought i might be non binary, but Joa still lingered, cuz i mean he was a really important character for me yk?
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���Me and Joa after my haircut... Yeaaaaahh....
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Here it says "im gonna change Joa's name" (it says "don't ask why" under it, not pictured). This is also when i went oh shIT I MIGHT BE A BOY- so u can imagine WHY i wanted to change his name, you know, the name i was gonna have if I WAS A BOY??? Yeah, that didn't work out anyways cuz i ended up naming myself after some emo guy from an australian tv show that changed my brain chemistry so :p
This was also the last time i drew or ever mentioned him, after this he basically fucking died and i forgot about him completely + i stopped drawing and journaling for like a year or so (consider that i used to do it almost every day)
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I find it crazy looking through my old sketchbooks and seeing my actual self from today be depicted as a "character", this is literally how i draw myself TODAY (with a lot of improvement ok? This is from like 2020/2021)
And i almost forgot to mention, but i was a hardcore fujoshi in 2019 (wich really fucked me in the head cuz it's not good to be reading porn at such a young age but oh well-), and so i used to ship Joa with one of my best friends oc's and we'd joke that they were gay and jaja funny they're gay yk hehe jiji jaja yk?
Thanks to the quarantine i started interacting with ACTUAL queer content, made by ACTUAL queer people, depicting what it's ACTUALLY LIKE to be part of the lgbt+ community, and not the fetishization of gay men made by and for (mostly) straight women, wich also made me feel real bad cuz i was like "oh no I've been fetishizing gay men all this time! Im a straight woman, it's weird for me to like gay men so much!" And honey do i have news for you :).
But i was pleased to find im not the only one that went thru the "fujoshi straight/might be a lesbian girl to transgender gay man" pipeline, it's crazy how there is no original experience, ive seen a gazillion fuckers who went thru the same shit, wich is surprising cuz how the fuck u go from "might be a lesbian" to "im a gay man", but hey, at least im not alone :))
If you read all that, you either really wanna know me, you have too much free time, or u need help HSKSHAKA. But yeah, jst wanted to share my experience, bc i still think about it till this day, and i still think of him every now and then
I don't think im ever bringing him back, or maybe i will, who knows, but for now he has a home in the black box with all my old sketchbooks, and i hope he's comfy in there ;)
the song made me giggle a lil as a trans guy
#transgender#trans men#transmasc#trans pride#trans#yaoi#fujoshi#idk how to tag this#gay men#gay man#gay#lgbtq#lgbtqia#lgbtq community
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Hello! I find myself unable to stop thinking about fae Sirius, so here's another drabble about him as sort of a continuation to the first :)
cw: brief, vague allusion to sex
fae!Sirius x whimsical!reader ♡ 745 words
You’re scanning the earth for small, white flowers when there’s a rustle in the bushes nearby. You turn, expecting the orange streak of a fox vanishing into the brush or a bird taking flight, but you see nothing. The forest is quieter today, as it has been for you lately. Stiller. The sort of place with secrets.
You draw in a breath as arms snake around your middle, catching you in their snare.
“Hello, my little naïf,” says a familiar voice, smooth and lovely as the rock in your pocket. “What are you doing wandering about by yourself?”
You turn in Sirius’ arms. He grins down at you, and you press your smiles together in a gentle kiss hello as your own arms wind around his middle. He likes spending a lot of time pressed close together like this; you didn’t know you’d enjoy it so much until you did.
“I’m looking for chickweed,” you answer him.
Sirius’ eyebrows raise. Like most of him, they’re beautiful, finely shaped things; you reach up to trace your finger underneath one. Sirius very dignifiedly does not preen over it. “You’re not looking for me?”
You shake your head, though you both know it’s a lie. You’ve always enjoyed this particular forest, but you visit twice as often since you met him. You’re never not thinking about Sirius, finding things for him, wishing to see him. It’d be embarrassing if he weren’t the same.
“I was looking for you,” you confide to appease him.
He tuts softly, a smile curving one side of his mouth. Sirius loves when you’re plain about your feelings for him. He doesn't always return the courtesy, but that’s alright; you can tell that they’re there whether he does or not. He wouldn’t have given you his name otherwise.
“And what have you brought for me today, lovely thing?”
“Do I always need to bring you something?” you ask, teasing. “Am I not enough by myself? You never give me anything.”
Sirius’ eyes flicker with amusement, because this too is a lie. Sirius has given you many, many things. He’s taught you how to listen to the moods of the wind and shown you how to entice butterflies to rest in your palm and brought you unimaginable pleasure one long afternoon by the creek. Not least of all, he’s given you his devotion, proven in a thousand tiny ways.
You’re unable to conceal your smile as you reach into your pocket, pulling out the rock you picked up this morning. It’s oval, worn to perfect smoothness by the rushing waters of the river you found it near, and a grayish blue that reminds you of Sirius’ eyes (when they stay still for a while, that is).
Sirius takes the rock from you, studying it. He rubs his thumb across the top. “This is pretty.”
“It is,” you agree, basking in your own private pleasure. You think he’d still say the same thing even if he did know why you chose it for him, but you enjoy keeping this to yourself. Sirius’ eyes slide to yours like he can tell you’re keeping secrets, but he doesn’t push.
“Not,” he says, “as pretty as you, however.” His hold tightens without warning, drawing a surprised giggle from you as your bodies come flush together. “You’re more than enough of a gift.”
You hear the sincerity in his tone and repay it in kind, kissing the corner of his mouth. “I know.”
Sirius’ eyes squint the way they tend to do when you particularly delight him. Just before he calls you strange or silly or my lovely little oddity. He doesn’t say any of those things now; only, “You won’t find chickweed around here, you know.”
You frown. “If I knew, why would I be looking?”
Sirius heaves a great sigh and presses his lips to your temple before loosening his hold on you. He guides you away from your little patch of bushes by your hand, moving with otherworldly grace. “There’s chickweed by the meadow. We’ll find it for you there. Do you use it for something?”
You nod. “Pesto.”
His brow furrows.
“It’s food. I’ll bring some for you to try.” You give him a sweet look. “Thank you for showing me where to find it.”
A low hum. “What would you do without me?”
“I don’t know. I suppose I’ll never have to find out.”
“No,” he agrees, fingers winding between yours like vines, “you won’t.”
#fae!sirius black#sirius black au#sirius black#whimsical!reader#sirius black x whimsical!reader#sirius black x reader#sirius black x fem!reader#sirius black x y/n#sirius black x you#sirius black x self insert#sirius black fanfiction#sirius black fanfic#sirius black fic#sirius black fluff#sirius black oneshot#sirius black imagine#sirius black scenario#sirius black drabble#sirius black blurb#sirius black one shot#marauders#marauders fanfiction#marauders fandom#the marauders#hp marauders#marauders au#marauders x reader
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Chapter 85 of human Bill Cipher getting a ✨💅 makeover 💇♀️✨ so he can seduce a government agent into not arresting him and/or the Mystery Shack gang: a flashback to Scalene & Euclid on Bill's birthday, Pacifica receiving the world's most inept lesson about fatphobia, and the continued adventures of the Pines family attempting to get a flash drive out of a goat's guts.
####
Scalene braced one shaking hand with the other as she reapplied her lipstick—a red so bright it was nearly orange, all the better to make her look a little less sickly than she felt.
She tried to pretend she didn't notice Euclid glaring daggers at her.
She'd come out of her swoon as she was being helped outside by several shapes, including Euclid supporting her with one arm and carrying Bill in the other. Once they were outdoors, someone had shoved the trophy and knives Bill had won into Euclid's hands, and then they'd been left outside as everyone else's attention turned to dealing with the mysterious fire that had spontaneously ignited inside; and for the past few minutes, Scalene had been putting herself back together while Euclid tried to soothe Bill.
Finally, once she deemed herself sufficiently presentable, she held out her arms to Euclid and their still-whimpering child. "All right, I can take him."
Euclid didn't move.
"Come on! You're not gonna hold a grudge against me for fainting, are you?"
Euclid said, "What did I tell you?"
"I brought my cane," Scalene said indignantly.
"Well, where was it?"
There was a long silence.
"Lene..."
"Oh, don't give me that look, it was just behind the curtain! I wasn't about to bring it on stage, I had to make sure Billy looked good!"
"What does your cane have to do with how good he looks?!"
"And the mayor didn't hand over the trophy fast enough," she said, ignoring Euclid's question. "If he had, I could have leaned on that. But no, he just kept yammering on..."
Euclid's copper blue eye had the most piercing glare in town. The fact that he also had the worst eyesight in town did nothing to dispel its power. Scalene much preferred when it was aimed at other people.
But then Bill wiggled his tiny hands toward Scalene with a displeased coo; and with a warning, "Careful," Euclid finally handed him over. "So. He didn't do too bad for his first outing. We've got a winner on our hands?"
Scalene was off the hook. She relaxed. "I think we do. The judges were very impressed he showed up to his first contest on his birthday."
"You'll only be able to do that once," Euclid pointed out.
"Sure, but for the rest of his life he can tell judges he went to his first pageant on the day he was born—can't you?" She directed the question to Bill. "Yes you can! That shows real ambition!" She poked one of his sides just beneath his eye. "And they were impressed by his good looks and how calm he is."
That was well deserved. Bill had entered the world with eye wide open—rather than face scrunched up and eye retracted to cry like most infants—and looking around for his parents, as though he were already used to the light and recognized his surroundings.
"Glad the judges didn't find it creepy, at least," Euclid said.
Scalene waved him off. "What did those nurses know? They should've been grateful to get a kid that isn't wailing in their faces! They couldn't appreciate how adorable he is—but look at him. From the front you'd think he's an oval." It was true: his corners were soft and rounded, and his angles were so flexible that his top angle squashed down toward his feet, making it look more like a right angle than acute. On top of that, his bright, shining pupil was so wide it took up half his face. "One of the judges said he looks downright cherubic. That's going on your resumé, young triangle."
Bill blinked sweetly up at his mother. He would never in his life need to write a resumé, for all the worst reasons.
"And—" Euclid lowered his voice, "—none of them realized how many birth defects he has?"
She swatted his arm. "Shh! No. Everything we've got is too obscure. As far as the pageant circuit is concerned, they're birth assets. My corners were still round when I started competing, and the judges thought I was adorable, too. As long as he goes on stage without braces on, they'll think he looks unique instead of deformed—just like I did."
"If he keeps going on stage without braces, he'll need a cane before he's middle-aged, just like you do."
"Not until his best pageant years are behind him," Scalene said icily. "Besides, we'll do better by him than my mother did for me. We already know what he has—"
"���we think we do, you left before the doctors could examine him—"
"—and I've already got appointments lined up for him with the best orthopedic doctor in the county and your and Euler's optometrist. We'll make sure his face stays pretty, his angles sharpen up, and his organs don't collapse in on themselves. He's just lucky he's got a mother that knows how to make that big eye of his look cute instead of bulgy." She pointed at the trophy, "As long as his good looks keep winning prizes, he'll be able to pay off his own medical bills and bring home a few bonuses."
For the first time, Euclid turned his attention to the trophy and the Knifeco gift box, and he laughed sharply. "Knifeco's still got the myor convinced that the next sample set he gives away for free will get everybody excited to order a full set from him, huh?"
Scalene scoffed. "I don't know why anybody would bother to order one. If they wait long enough and show up to a few city events, eventually they'll win a full set. How much of his own money has he spent on knife sample sets by now?"
"Last I heard? 30, 40k? We probably won't find out how much he's embezzled from city funds 'til next election."
"Otto's an idiot," Scalene said. "After all these years, you'd think he'd figure out the only way to make money at that company is to recruit more salesmen and get a cut of the profits from the kits they sell."
"You'd think." Euclid shrugged impassively. "But as long as I'm still getting 5% from each of his sales to himself, I'm not about to tell him that." He rubbed a thumb on one of Scalene's corners, rubbing off a bit of waxy red side liner to expose the duller pink underneath. "We probably wouldn't be able to afford your makeup habit without him."
Scalene swatted Euclid's hand away. "Well, we can throw away your old chipped set." She patted the dark wood box. "From now on, we're using the set Billy won for us—isn't that right, Billy?" She bounced Bill lightly by her side. He was staring at the box, transfixed. "I think he likes it! That's right, these are your birthday knives, sweetheart."
When his parents looked at the box, they only saw the dark wood; but Bill saw through the wood—over the wood—to the silvery needlelike knives within. They gleamed with starlight shining down from a higher dimension. And then Bill looked up at the stars, glittering far above. He wiggled in Scalene's arm, but couldn't figure out how to move his limbs in the direction he saw above.
Euclid looked at the wiggling child, and tensed up. "Lene. Look at his eye."
She did, and sucked in a sharp breath. "What happened to him?"
"If this is because you dropped him..."
Bill's pupil had disappeared, leaving his eye looking empty and bloodshot silver. But at the change in the tone of his parents' voices, he blinked and focused on them curiously, his pupil back where it belonged like it had never disappeared.
They stared speechlessly at him.
"Did you and Euler's eyes ever do that?" Scalene asked. "Before those surgeries you got as kids?"
"Not—not that I remember. But I could ask Mom and Dad," he said, already knowing the answer would be no.
She stared at Bill's eye a moment longer; but when he didn't do anything but stare back innocently, she sighed. "Well, that's something else we can ask your optometrist. Maybe he'll have a fix for it."
####
While Pacifica was in the bathroom cleaning up after their makeup experimentation, Goldie stood from his folding chair to lean on the desk next to Mabel, staring with a look of intense concentration into the air over the chair about where his head had been.
"What's up?" Pacifica asked, leaning out of the bathroom.
Distractedly, Goldie said, "Nothing, just watching you do my face."
Pacifica frowned. "What? I'm over here?"
Mabel leaned between them, laughing nervously. "What he means is, he does this thing where he, uhh, imagines that he can see what happened around him in the past, so he's... pretending he's watching you put makeup on his face a few minutes ago." At Pacifica's skeptical look, Mabel hastily added, "It's not like a psychic thing or anything! It's just a... um..."
Goldie mumbled, "Mindfulness visualization exercise."
"Yeah! It helps him memorize stuff! Right?"
"You bet. All the best venture capitalists are doing it."
Pacifica said, "Oh, I think a CEO my dad invited over was talking about that. Is it like a meditation thing? You think about what you want to get it?"
"Say it until you believe it, believe it until it's true!" Mabel said.
Goldie elbowed her. "Look who's been paying attention." She beamed at him.
Pacifica packed the makeup, brushes, and spare hair ties and pins he'd need in a bag, and handed it over. "Okay, that should take care of your face. When you shower tonight, remember to wash all the makeup off, you do not want this messing with your pores; remember to moisturize or your skin will crack apart like a mummy's"—one of her mother's favorite threats—"get Mabel to help pin your curls tomorrow, and just do what I showed you for the rest. Now we just have to worry about clothing." She sized up his hair color, his skin color—couldn't quite bring herself to look at his eye color, though. "I think you're a spring. You can probably pull off some autumn colors too. But usually springs are supposed to tan easier than they burn..."
"I do!" He gestured at himself, sunburns and all, and said proudly, "This took hard work!"
That answered a question she'd been asking herself all day, and brought up half a dozen more. "Not going to ask. So, you want to go for bright, clear, warm colors. And you'll look better in gold accessories."
"I know," he said smugly.
Colors were the easy part. She wished she'd had time to call up her personal tailor to bring by some dresses that could be adjusted. Goldie had such a weird body shape—narrow shoulders, sticklike arms, slender calves, and then a wide waist and even wider hips. There couldn't be much clothing that fit him, masculine or feminine. "Do you have any cute clothes in colors that flatter you? Feminine clothes?"
"What's feminine? Dresses?" Goldie turned to Mabel. "Everything else is hit-or-miss, but dresses and skirts are still universally feminine around here, right?" Pacifica was dying to know what Goldie's life had been like.
"Yeah," Mabel said, "I think we managed to get that yellow summer dress at the mall."
Pacifica winced. "Is a summer dress all you've got?" Not the worse choice, depending on the cut, but it probably wouldn't do his figure any favors.
"It's either that or Jesús's grandma's skirts," Goldie said, shrugging. "Did we manage to snag that sparkly dress with all the pink peacock feathers?"
"That's more of a third date dress. You don't want him to think you're out of his league," Mabel said. "It's too bad we didn't get that galaxy print skirt."
"You know what I could really use? Halter top trapeze dress. Maybe stick a petticoat under the skirt for extra volume. They've gotta make trapeze dresses with petticoats somewhere."
"I could probably make one," said Mabel (who wasn't even sure what a trapeze dress was but was over the moon to see him voluntarily express an interest in human clothing).
Pacifica's face twisted in a grimace. Pityingly, she said, "Oh, you really don't know your body type at all."
He gave her an unimpressed look. "Don't I?"
The thing was, a trapeze dress in and of itself wasn't a bad idea: it was tight around the bust, flared out like a tent underneath, and stopped before the knees; so it could highlight his slim shoulders and arms, let him show off his thin calves, and do at least a bit to conceal those thunder thighs and flabby waistline. But... "A halter top would make your shoulders look way too narrow; and a petticoat would completely undermine the flattering effects of a trapeze dress, and—where would you even position the petticoat? Trapeze dresses doesn't have a waistline."
"About where the skirt starts," Goldie said, drawing a line in the air around bust height.
He couldn't be serious. "Absolutely not. You'd look like a walking triangle."
A smile of near maniacal glee stretched across Goldie's face. Before he could say anything, Mabel grabbed his arm and said, "I think you should just go with what Pacifica says! Pacifica, what do you think?"
"Just—stick with the dress you already have." Between a triangle trapeze dress, the threat of pink feathers, and galaxy print, suddenly Pacifica was grateful for the yellow summer dress. "It's great. Summer dresses are flirty. Do you have shoes that match it?"
Goldie pointed at his fish slippers. "It's these, black oxfords, or foam clogs."
"No," Pacifica said. "Sandals, flats, or open toe heels. And throw away the fish slippers."
"Never."
Mabel said, "You could reuse the sandals you borrowed from Dipper for your Summerween costume?"
"Please don't tell me what they look like," Pacifica said. "Okay, dress, shoes—accessories... just, get something nice but understated. And classy. Do I need to explain what 'classy' looks like?"
"Relax, I used to have a collection of gold that put Albion Art to shame," Goldie said. "I know how to do 'classy.'"
"I'm going to pretend I trust you," Pacifica said. "Okay, underwear—got to wear a bra unless the dress has built-in support; and if you hurry, it's probably not too late to go wherever poor people shop and grab some shapewear for your..." she gestured vaguely toward Goldie's abdomen, "problem area..."
"No," Goldie said flatly. "I'm drawing the line at shapewear. I look fine."
Ooh, not good. His attitude toward everything else about his looks ranged from "apathy" to "disgust," why was flaunting his not-flauntworthy curves the point where he chose to push back? She should've been more direct with him. "Hon, I love the confidence, but..." Pacifica grimaced apologetically. "You're fat. Like, really fat. And you're not gonna win this guy if he thinks you've let yourself go."
Mabel shot from slouching to sitting straight up. "Pacifica!"
"What, it's true! He probably thinks having skinny arms hides it, but back me up here—it is not subtle."
"Don't say that, he's beautiful!!"
Pacifica had been braced for Goldie to be outraged, embarrassed, ashamed, go into denial, something—just about anything except snort with laughter. He waved them off when they looked at him. Pacifica wondered whether he'd misunderstood the conversation. "Listen to you two! You're letting the subtext do so much of the heavy lifting that you don't even realize half the things you're saying." His gaze on them was cold and faintly amused; and for a moment Pacifica felt like a bug whose behavior was being studied by some immense alien being, and who had been judged inferior.
"Anyway, I'm not trying to hide anything—and I'd make it less subtle if I could. I love my shape!" He pantomimed his shape with his hands—although, where most people would sort of draw an hourglass shape if they wanted to their body's curves, the shape he drew in the air looked more like a triangle. Which, admittedly, was more true to his actual appearance. "And you're changing it over my dead bo—" He winced, muttering, "Maybe not the best way to put that."
Now Pacifica wondered if she'd misunderstood him. "What."
"Look, kid..." Goldie stood straighter, put a hand on Pacifica's shoulder, and adopted the most patronizing tone she'd ever heard. "I know your parents taught you the only things contributing to your personal worth are how rich you are and how attractive other people find you, so let's agree that's all that really matters, right?"
"Um," said Pacifica, who was pretty sure she was about to receive some twee lesson about 'inner beauty' but had never heard one that started with the lecturer agreeing that wealth and looks were the most important things.
"And I know Missy Priscy's got you convinced that your beauty and your weight are engaged in a battle to the death over the right to terraform your flesh. So this might blow your mind—but you've been lied to! The sight of a human female over size 4 doesn't cause the contents of a human male's gonads to curdle! Fat chicks have been successfully getting hitched and passing the genetic baton to their offspring for all of human history—and reproduction is the only objective benchmark evolution has to measure who's hot and who's not, so you can rate that higher than the opinion of a tarnished trophy who thinks enough botox will make her immortal. Hear what I'm saying, Alpaca. Absorb it. Incorporate it into your worldview."
She bristled at the description of her mother, but swallowed back the urge to lash out. He was bitter and taking it out on her. He was feeding her a load of sour grapes. This was just the kind of thing fat people told themselves to feel less bad about being fat. "Riiight."
Goldie's patronizing smirk curled down at one corner in irritation. "Ah, who'm I kidding! You're not gonna believe me! Your mom, your modeling job, the pageant world, the beauty industry—they've burrowed way too deep in your head, and there's no digging them back out without a lobotomy." He scoffed. "You're one snide jab at the wrong time away from an eating disorder."
"Hey! How dare you!" Pacifica thought that was way meaner than anything she'd said.
Mabel snapped, "B—Goldie! Be nice! What's gotten into you two!"
"Yeesh, touched a nerve! Excuse me!" He raised his hands apologetically, but he was grinning impishly. "Anyway—" he raised his voice as the girls attempted to scold him again, "Anyway! More to the point—our target looked me up and down in a bikini and asked if he could help slather sunscreen around my waist, so I think he thinks my body looks great in the shape it's already in. And getting the guy is the only important thing—right?"
If Goldie was telling the truth, Pacifica couldn't think of any other reason some guy would volunteer to rub sunscreen on him—even if she found it hard to believe. And if he was making it up, then whatever, he could sabotage himself if he wanted, she didn't care. She rolled her eyes, grit her teeth, and muttered, "Fine."
"Not fine! Both of you hold on!" Mabel stood, decided she wasn't tall enough, and climbed on the folding chair. "You two were just really mean to each other! That's terrible—especially after you were getting along so great! Apologize to each other!" She crossed her arms, glaring them down.
Pacifica stared at her in disbelief, brows raised. "I beg your pardon?"
But Goldie didn't look like this was odd to him at all. He just rolled his eyes—"All right, all right,"—and looked at Pacifica. "C'mon. You can't be that mad. You've heard worse."
She scowled at him, but she supposed she had. From her mom, her old pageant coach, her manager that got her modeling jobs—she was just more used to warnings about getting fat than she was to warnings about fearing getting fat. "So have you."
"Worse than you can imagine," Goldie said. "We're good?"
"We're good," Pacifica said.
Goldie looked at Mabel. "We're good!"
Mabel looked between the two of them suspiciously. "That was an apology?"
"Got the job done, didn't it?"
Mabel didn't look pleased, but she sat down on the folding chair and crossed her arms.
Pacifica said, "Okay, you're off the hook for shapewear—but if he thinks you look like a slob, it's on you."
He rolled his eyes. "Noted!"
"But you've got to wear a bra. What are the straps like on the summer dress, do you have a bra that'll fit under it okay?"
Goldie groaned. "We can reuse my bikini and pad the cups or something. We don't have time to go to the mall and figure out what size I am."
In horror, Pacifica quietly asked, "Do... do you not even own a bra."
"Why would I?" Goldie asked, like he couldn't imagine a single practical reason. Hard to tell his size through an oversized t-shirt; he was definitely small, but it wasn't like he was flat. "I've never really cared about local fashion outside of batiks, brocades, tie dyes, and sarcastic t-shirts, but now that it's affecting me personally? I cannot wait for that particular fad to die."
Since when were batiks local. And who calls bras a fad. That's like calling shoes a fad. "What is your life like," Pacifica asked.
Goldie grinned. "You wouldn't believe me even if I told you."
####
"That's it. That's all I can do for you," Pacifica said. "Good luck on... whatever it is you're doing. Because I'm pretty sure you're not actually into this guy?"
Mabel said, "Wooing a federal agent to avoid getting the whole family arrested!"
Pacifica nodded. "Oh, cool. Let me know how that goes."
Mabel stopped to hug Giorgio on the way out.
As they left Pacifica's barn, Bill turned to face Mabel. "Welp!" He pantomimed like he was playing a violin, "Ready to bow on some poor sucker's heartstrings until we yank out his aorta?"
"Ha ha. Yeah. Sure." Mabel tried to smile and it came out as a grimace. "Sounds great."
"Hey, don't give me that look!" He shoved Mabel's shoulder. "You've heard me say gorier things than that!" He flashed her a grin she could only describe as bloodthirsty, and bounced off toward the road back to town, so cheerful he was very nearly floating.
And she watched him go, biting her lip.
Something had been bothering her since his argument with Pacifica:
She couldn't figure out why he wasn't better.
####
Bill nudged Mabel. "Hey. Am I in trouble?"
"What?"
"You've been giving me the silent treatment since we left." That had been about fifteen minutes earlier. "Is it because of the eating disorder thing? Do I have to apologize to you for that? It's not like I was insulting her! If anything, I did her a favor by warning her—"
She gave him a sour look—that had been very rude, even if not Bill's typical existential horror cosmic nightmare level rudeness—but said, "No, it's not that. I'm just thinking about stuff."
"Are you gonna share it, or do I have to wait until I can crawl inside your head again to find out?"
Mabel was silent a moment. "Do you actually like tie-dye?"
"That's what's bothering you?" He pulled his eyepatch back on—Pacifica had told him putting it back on would probably mess up his makeup, but that didn't really matter until tomorrow. "Of course I do, who doesn't! It's chaos on a shirt." He shrugged. "I've never had any—but, y'know, it's nice to look at, anyway."
"Wait, never? We should do tie-dye together! I can get us some white shirts and we can dye them outside," Mabel said. "Maybe I can invite Grenda and Candy!"
"Sounds like a party! Let me know when, you know what my schedule looks like."
"Great!" She beamed at him.
But as they walked, her smile slowly faded as she drifted back into her own thoughts.
His ideas about flirting were very hit or miss, but Mabel thought they were probably hits more often with aliens that thought dead salmon smelled sexy. He'd had a girlfriend, at any rate.
And he'd gotten chummy with Abuelita (even after she tried to poison him), he'd charmed Gideon's mom in like ten seconds, Wendy thought he was cool and so did half her gang, Candy and Grenda said he was fun, Mabel was pretty sure Stan kinda liked him even if he wouldn't admit it... He'd even managed to develop a rapport with Pacifica—Pacifica!—which had taken Mabel like two-thirds of the summer!—and he'd done it even though they'd insulted each other!
He was charming, he was fun, he clearly got romance...
So how come he didn't have true love and best friends that weren't evil?
The question itched at her brain.
Mabel firmly believed that the only thing that made people bad was not getting enough love. Family love, friend love, romance love, adorable cuddly pet love, whatever. Put love in, get love out; put nothing in, get a swirling vortex of loneliness and hatred where the love should have been stored. Like Prickly Bee in Color Critters! Who during season one had been one of the color-hating bad guys, but in season two had inexplicably joined the good guys due to network executive meddling, and it wasn't until season three that they did a flashback episode showing that the critters had won her over by showing her the kindness and caring that her old boss Serpent Grey never had!
And at the beginning of summer, after Mabel helped Bill get his hair back, he'd said it had been a long time since anyone had been nice to him; and he'd been nice to her since then, so that seemed to support her theory. All it took was a little love!
She just couldn't figure out why he didn't already have enough.
He had all those monster friends he'd tried to conquer the world with last year, but maybe they were those "people who claim to be friends but are actually allies who hate each other" that you see amongst cartoon villains. (Like Serpent Grey's minions.) Was it because they were aliens? Were aliens not good at friendship? Had he been deprived until now?
She remembered how heavy even the smallest glimpse at his pain had been—listening to him grieve over his own death. It was clear that, whatever he'd had before, what he needed now was better love, more friends—enough to share that psychological weight without collapsing—but how much would be enough to untwist his crooked morality?
Mabel was running out of time. Summer was almost halfway over. She only had seven more weeks to reintegrate Bill into society—to help him make amends for everything he'd done last summer—or else... or else she'd failed. She'd failed him.
And she knew she was making progress with Bill, but she didn't know if it was enough. She wished he'd go faster. She wished summer would go slower. She wished she had more time.
She remembered what had happened the last time she'd wished for a little more summer.
So she'd just have to figure out how to save him in the time they had left. She couldn't just pick up a broken teacup, glue half the pieces together, then abandon it half-repaired to leak tea all over the floor. She was a problem solver, it was what she did. She had to solve this problem—or else everything she'd done this past year would be for nothing.
As they walked, she reached out to grab Bill's hand. He gave her a curious look, but he didn't pull it back.
"Was all that stuff true about you doing pageants as a kid?" (There must have been something in his past to explain why he didn't have enough love—maybe in his childhood.) "Or did you just make that up to make Pacifica relax?" (She guiltily remembered him accusing her of trying to "fix" him—how badly he'd been hurt by the thought.)
She felt his hand tense in her grip, but he shrugged dismissively. "They're not exactly identical to human beauty pageants—no real fashion component, for one thing—but, yeah. Did 'em as a kid. I went to my first pageant on the day I was born."
"So you lied when you told me you didn't do them yourself?"
"I did not," Bill said indignantly. "I just didn't correct you when you guessed wrong!"
At Mabel's sour look, Bill rolled his eye and said, "What, am I supposed to correct you every time you say something wrong? Because humans are wrong about just about everything—"
"Bill."
He huffed. "The specifics weren't any of your business, okay? It's—not something I talk about with humans. Or any other aliens, for that matter."
"Why not? Was it—"
"Because it's ancient history," he said sharply.
Mabel gave him a worried look. When he didn't elaborate, she said, "So, is it really as stressful as you and Pacifica made it sound?"
"Stressful!" Bill scoffed. "Name a part of life that isn't stressful. School, work, breeding a family, yadda yadda—better to learn how to handle it early, right? And it's only stressful if you're bad at it! I was good. I was very good."
"Good at what?" Mabel asked.
"Uh..." Bill had to grasp for a moment. "Being... cute. Charming the judges. Wowing 'em at the talent portion—when I wasn't starting fires. I really did play the piano! I mean—not a piano, but the closest equivalent my world had. There's nothing cuter than a kid playing an instrument he can hardly reach each end of." At Mabel's continued worried look, he said, "What! It was harmless. It was just a bunch of baby shapes bumbling around the stage looking adorable, that's all! It wasn't that bad!"
He was quiet for a moment; and then he repeated to himself, "It wasn't that bad."
####
"Don't get any closer," Stan said. "This place is about to be a toxic waste dump."
Bill and Mabel looked around Stan. In the middle of the clearing behind the Mystery Shack, a tent had been set up. Inside, a goat bleated in a plea for help.
Mabel asked, "Why?"
"Poindexter and your brother's plan to get that computer doohickey out of the goat the old-fashioned way didn't work. He wouldn't eat the concoction they mixed up. So they're getting it out of him the other old-fashioned way."
"Vivisection?" Bill asked hopefully.
"No—" Stan fell silent, squinted at Bill's face, and decided not to comment on his new look. "Vomit. You remember that witch's brew we used to chase off the flying eyeball that you—er—you knew?"
Mabel screwed up her face. "Oh, yuck, that was the worst thing I ever smelled."
Stan tipped his head toward the tent. "Well, they're about to detonate what's left of it."
"'Detonate'?"
Ford's voice came from the tent: "On the count of three! One... two..."
There was a muffled boom. The walls of the tent billowed outward and an orange ball of fire illuminated Ford, Dipper, and Gomper's silhouettes. Gompers let out a loud bleat of distress.
Voice strained, Dipper said, "Ugh, that smell—I think I'm gonna be—" He had to try a couple of times to unzip the tent, then stumbled out and landed on his hands and knees in the dirt, gasping for fresh air.
Ford—wearing a gas mask—ducked out of the tent. "I told you you'd want a mask."
"Smelling it in close quarters is way—" He clapped a hand over his mouth and gagged, "—way worse than I thought."
"Well?" Stan called. "Did anything come up?"
Ford peered back into the tent. "No."
Stan flung his hands up.
"Don't lose hope," Ford said. "I have a spell to induce vertigo somewhere. I don't remember all the words, but..."
Bill spent several seconds pretending he didn't notice Ford was staring directly at him before he said, "Can I help you?"
"You know the spell, don't you?"
"What, the Maximus Vertiginous? 'Course I do. Classic prank."
Ford stared at him expectantly. Bill said, "What?"
"How does it go?" Ford asked impatiently.
"Oh, you expect me to teach you?" Bill rolled his eye.
Mabel frowned up at him. "Come on, Bill, don't be a jerk."
The back of his neck started heating up as he realized the whole family was staring at him. He stood a little straighter. "Listen to you, ya little hypocrite! Aren't you the one who keeps showing me those cute cartoons telling me to be myself?" To Stanford, he said, "I don't tutor my dropouts. Go find your own notes, Stanford Pines."
Ford glowered at Bill, but then he left the tent, zipped it shut behind himself, and trudged toward the shack. His irritated muttering was muffled by the gas mask.
As soon as the door shut, Stan clapped his hands. "Okay! Ford's gone, now we're doing this my way." As he passed Dipper, he said, "C'mon, kid, chop chop. I need your help, your hands are smaller than mine."
Dipper groaned, but got back to his feet, pulled his shirt over his nose, and trudged back to the tent with Stan. "What are we doing?"
"The same thing you and Ford were—but more assertive! Sixer nixed my plan, but his obviously didn't work." Stan unzipped the tent's flap. "All right. I'll hold the goat's mouth open, you reach in."
"Ohhh no."
Bill's face lit up. "Heeey, that sounds fun! Let me try! My hands are small and I can actually see the flash drive!"
"Oh no you don't," Stan said. "We can't risk you picking up the eyeball repellant stink, you've gotta stay pretty until loverboy shows up!"
"What, so suddenly I'm too pretty to grope a goat's guts?" Bill stared at Mabel in disbelief, waiting for her to commiserate over this injustice.
Mabel—who was still a bit miffed about being called a hypocrite—said, "Let's just go in." As they walked to the porch, she said, "'Be yourself' doesn't mean be a jerk. It means 'don't hide your talents' and 'keep doing your hobbies even if other people think they're boring' and stuff."
"Yeah, well, what if one of my talents is being a jerk?"
Mabel groaned. "There's gotta be an episode that covers this."
As Stan entered the tent, he said, "Phew, that reeks! Hey, zip the tent when you come in."
Dipper hung back nervously, half in the tent and pinching his nose shut. "Grunkle Stan, I'm not sure about this idea."
"Come on, it—it can't be hard! Farmers do this. I think. Look, I'm doing the hard part, all you have to do is reach down his throat! Lemme just... get my fingers between his jaws...
Gompers bleated angrily. Stan hollered in pain.
"Oh, no!" Dipper dove for Gompers and landed in the dirt as the goat shot past. From the porch, Mabel and Bill could only watch as Gompers headed the other way.
Soos walked around the corner of the shack. "Hey, du—whoa!"
"Soos!" Dipper shouted. "Catch him!"
Soos dove to the side to get out of the way of the charging goat, watched him vanish into the forest, and said, "Aw—dude, I just did the opposite of what you asked me to do. That's totally my bad."
Ford opened the back door with a handful of papers and his gas mask pushed up on his forehead. "I heard shouting, what happened?"
"Uhhh," Soos said. "Gompers just escaped into the forest."
"What?! How?!"
Stan stumbled through the tent's flap, cradling a hand. "It was—it was totally unexpected. Just ran off for no reason. Completely unprompted," he said. "He also bit my hand. Don't ask why my hand was so close to his mouth."
Ford said, "Which way?! We have to follow him immediately! If the agents detect the drive's signal before we retrieve him—"
"Don't bother," Bill said. "As long as he's in the forest, if he doesn't want to be caught, he won't be. There's nothing you can do until he comes out."
Ford narrowed his eyes. "How are you so sure?"
"He ate some magic rocks."
"Ah. Well." He shrugged in defeat. Nothing they could do if he'd eaten magic rocks. "But what if he does want to be caught?"
Bill gestured toward the forest with a flourish. "If you think he's eager for more of the hors d'oeuvres and perfume you've been offering him today, go get 'im."
Stan cleared his throat. "Well—the good news is, when the agents get here, they won't find the thingamajig in the Mystery Shack! Eh? Ehhh?"
"Oh, yeah, that's what I was coming over to tell you guys," Soos said. "I was taking out the trash, and I saw this car parked just up the road, and it looked like the car the government dudes were in today, so, I think they're watching the shack now?"
There was a long silence as the group processed that.
"We can't be outside," Ford said. "If they see Stan they'll want to interrogate him, if they see Bill here after hours they'll know he's not a passing tourist, and if they see me they'll realize I'm not a superior officer from Washington—"
Bill slammed his fist on the back door. "Then stop rambling and let me in!"
Ford opened the door and ushered everyone inside. "Hurry!"
"But what about Gompers?" Dipper asked. "We've gotta at least try to find him before the agents do!"
"What if the agents follow you to Gompers?" Ford asked. Dipper hesitated.
Mabel said, "We can make disguises so they won't recognize us!" She took off her half of the enchanted friendship bracelets, chucked it toward the coat rack just inside the door, and ran upstairs. "Come on!"
Dipper shot one last worried look toward the forest, then followed her.
Ford shut the door and asked Stan in a low voice, "How long is Gompers usually gone when he wanders off?"
"No telling. Sometimes I don't see him for weeks at a time."
Soos said, "So if they're gonna keep looking until they find that drive, but we can't go looking because they're watching us, and Gompers doesn't come back, so we can't find the drive, and they can't find the drive... then, how do we get rid of them?"
"We don't," Stan said. "Unless they find something more interesting than the drive."
As Bill added his end of the bracelet to the coat rack, he was keenly aware of three sets of eyes on him. He could see the cold gray walls of his cell in the— of the surgical suite in Hangar 618. Oh, he was certainly a billion times more interesting than some lousy drive; and if the eagles figured that out...
"Distracting them for a few hours won't cut it, will it," Ford asked him.
Bill pushed away the phantom psychological weight of heavy ankle cuffs and cheap orange fabric. "Doesn't look like it. You'll need some other way to make them leave."
Grimly, Ford said, "It looks like your job just got a lot more important."
####
(Your "what was edited due to TBOB" roundup: as mentioned in an earlier chapter, some of the specifics of the pageant scene came from TBOB—the name of the "best baby ever" award and the mayor handing out free knives. But everything else was plotted well before TBOB—including Bill being born able to see the stars, having a condition that makes him unusually flexible (which lines up with Baby Bill's squishy look quite well), and his parents getting him medical treatment at a very young age due to, among other things, his weird eye. Most of the rest of the chapter was written pre-TBOB.
Although my god did i rewrite the conversation about Bill's weight a hundred times. This has been a high priority to work into the fic for some time! I wanted to make it clear that Bill's body shape isn't merely a cosmetic part of his character design but something with actual in-world impact, that for him it's a positive and not meant to be punitive or a joke, and that Pacifica's got issues and we're gonna be dealing with them. The hard part was doing all that while avoiding Bill sounding like an enlightened angel spreading the gospel of fat positivity to the ignorant masses, rather than what he actually is: a selfish alien who realizes humans are being stupid but whose only personally investment in this issue is convincing a 13-year-old not to make him wear spanx.
Next week, the agents are finally back, and Bill gets to put all that flirting practice into action! I'm sure he'll do a great job.)
#bill cipher#human bill cipher#gompers#(<- for the art. i feel like gompers doesn't get much art so this is worth highlighting.)#pacifica northwest#scalene cipher#euclid cipher#(<- for the actual chapter)#gravity falls#gravity falls fic#gravity falls fanart#fanart#my art#my writing#bill goldilocks cipher
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can you write a reader x professor!spencerreid? Reader is a Student & they meet the night before classes start & immediately hit it off😏 iykyk
kinda like aria and ezra from pretty little liars but with much more spice🌶
And the storyline kinda follows them through the semester, pls make it a bit angsty 🤏 BUT with happy ending 🥺🙏
Unexpected Surprise
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Summary: You find out that the man you hooked up with last night is your new Professor.
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female Reader
Category: Smut (18+ MDNI)
Warnings: alcohol consumption, sexual harassment, fake dating, age gap, kissing, dirty talk, use of pet names (baby etc.), praise kink, choking, fingering, oral sex (f & m), orgasm denial, spanking, semi-public sex, unprotected sex (don’t do that), dom!spencer (If I missed any warnings, please tell me)
Word Count: 5,8k
Author’s Note: Hey, I hope you like the way it turned out. I was also planning to write a story where they meet before and then find out that he’s her Professor, so your Request came in just in the right time :)
The club is loud, the bass booms through the room and the lights flicker in time with the music. You're at the bar, sipping your drink as you take a little break from dancing. The sweat clings to your skin and you just need a moment for yourself. The air is heavy, mixed with alcohol and perfume and you consider going out to get some fresh air.
Suddenly you feel someone standing next to you. You smell the strong alcohol on his breath before you even see him. The warmth of his body is already reaching you across the room, and you have to lower your gaze to keep him from seeing you rolling your eyes. You know what’s about to happen. You feel his presence, and it's uncomfortable as he moves even closer to you.
“Babe, you look so hot. Do you want to spend the night with me?” The words come out of his mouth sharp and dirty, and he puts an arm around you as if he had already won you. An unpleasant feeling spreads through you and you try to avoid it, turning your body away from him. “No, not interested,“ you say, calmer that you‘re feeling right now.
But he doesn't let go, strokes your back, moves even closer to you and his voice becomes more urgent. “Come on, I can help you relax a little bit." It happens so quickly, you barely have enough time to breathe when you feel a new presence behind you. You turn to the side and see a man standing in front of you. His eyes are hazel brown and his long, curly hair falls over his forehead. His posture is confident, almost a bit protective.
“Let her go. She said no.” His voice is deep and calm, a contrast to the urgent tone of the man at your side. The guy next to you stares at the new man now looming in front of him. You can tell from the look in his eyes that he’s scared. You can practically see how small and insecure he feels as he moves away from you. He mutters something that sounds like an insulting comment, but he quickly turns around and disappears into the crowd again. You breath out relived.
For a moment everything remains silent, only the distant noise of the music can be heard. You look at the man who just saved you. His big brown eyes meet yours, and for a moment everything else around you disappears. He looks incredibly good. Then, realizing he got you out of the awkward situation, you send him a grateful smile.
“Thank you,” you say, your voice softer now. “Can I buy you a drink?” It somehow feels right to make this gesture to show your gratitude. He nods, a small, almost shy smile crossing his lips, and you can't help but notice how charming he seems. “Gladly,” he replies. You turn to the bartender and order two drinks as he sits down on a bar stool next to you.
You hand him the drink and introduce yourself. It’s really hard to stop staring into his beautiful brown eyes. “I’m Spencer. I’m really sorry that this asshole bothered you,” he says. You shrug unimpressed. “Sad truth is, I’m used to it. At least he backed off quickly now, thanks to you,” you say and smile. The night suddenly feels less chaotic as you continue talking to your unexpected savior.
The loud music in the background seems to fade more and more, as if you are immersed in your own little world. The conversation with him feels light and relaxed, almost like you've known each other forever. You've been talking about books for a while now, the two of you found out that you both love reading.
“And what was the last book you read?” you ask with an interested smile as you look at him. Spencer smiles and leans back a little, his gaze becoming thoughtful. “The last book I read was Bare Reflections.”
You take a sip of your drink and grin when you hear the title. “Sounds… not exactly like what I expected from you.” The alcohol creeps into your head and makes you a little braver than usual, so you decide to tease him, “I didn’t think you’d read a book like that. You seem far too decent for that.”
Spencer raises an eyebrow, and for a moment you're not sure if he's irritated or amused. Then he folds his arms over his chest, his posture becoming a little stiffer. "I had to read it for a case we were working on," he says, his voice still calm but now also slightly challenging.
“And what impression do you have of me? Do you think that I might not have interests in that direction? That I'm not able to take control in situations?“ A smile spreads across your face as you feel the tension in the air shift. You can't help but grin. It's a mix of amusement and a little challenge.
“Well, at least not like that,” you reply, looking at him cheekily. “Feel free to convince me otherwise.” And you wink at him, the words sound almost like a game. You see his pupils dilate as he looks at you. A little spark jumps between you. He pauses for a moment, as if considering how to react.
Then his posture changes, he moves a little closer, leans forward and indicates with his hand that you should lean a little towards him. You do, curious to see what comes next. As you lean closer to him, you feel his breath on your skin, and he whispers to you in a voice so deep and quiet that it gets right under your skin. “Let me convince you otherwise.”
-
Your alarm goes off way too early, but you just turn to the side and turn it off. You squint against the bright sunlight shining through the blinds. The last bit of sleep still clings to you as you slowly push yourself up and put your head in your hands. It takes a moment but then the memories of last night kick in. Spencer. The thought of him brings a smile to your lips. Last night was perfect. He was good. Very good actually. The best you've ever had. Luckily you still remember everything.
His lips against yours, his tongue inside your mouth. His body as he pushed you against the wall. His big, rough hands that squeezed your breasts, wrapped so perfectly around your throat and reached all the spots inside you that you never could. The way he manhandled you so perfectly, rough but somehow also gentle and caring in the right moments. The way he fucked you and used you for his own pleasure, making you a moaning mess. He ruined you for every other man.
But now he is no longer here. You glance at the other side of the bed, it's empty. No trace of him. Just silence. He left when you were still asleep. A little bit of disappointment stirs within you. You were hoping maybe he would stay after all. Maybe have a coffee with you, or just… be there.
The sex was good but there was more. You really enjoyed talking to him. But then again, it was only a one night stand. Today it's the first day at university anyway, it's better to leave early in order to be there on time. If he had stayed here longer you certainly wouldn't have come on time. With a sigh, you push the covers back and swing your legs out of bed.
The floor is cold. You take a look at your phone and check the time. It’s 10:45 a.m. Your first lecture is in just over an hour. You quickly put on a light jacket and then, half asleep, you make your way to the bathroom. You are still tired but the feeling from last night remains. At least this day is off to a semi good start.
You pack your bag, throw in everything you need, your iPad, headphones, lip gloss, some chewing gum and all the other stuff. You rush out of the apartment, bag on your shoulder and keys in hand. You get on the bus that takes you to university and the fresh morning wind blows in your face. It's the first day. You can't wait to see what it brings.
-
You sit at the front of the lecture hall, the place is comfortable, the view of the board is perfect. Your iPad is in front of you and you're doodling on it out of boredom. The conversations of the other students still chatting sound like a distant murmur to your ears. You are excited and nervous. The first day of the new semester, the first lecture.
The room is slowly filling up and the last students are still finding their place. It‘s almost 12 o'clock and you’re still waiting for your friend Finn to arrive. He slept in and you told him you’re going to safe him a seat. You hear the lecture hall doors open, but you hardly notice it. You are lost in your thoughts, thinking about how hard it will be to concentrate on the lesson when Spencer is the only thing on your mind right now.
Then, suddenly, everything becomes quiet. All the conversations around you fall silent immediately. It's like someone flipped a switch. You look up, not sure why, and then you see him. Your new Professor. Your heart skips a beat when your eyes meet his. Spencer. He is standing at the entrance to the lecture hall. For a moment time stops.
The Spencer you had in your bed last night, the Spencer who gave you orgasm after orgasm, the Spencer who made you scream his name is now suddenly your professor. A look of confusion crosses his face, but then he quickly catches himself, puts on his serious expression, and turns away as if he's trying to ignore you.
The tension is thick in the air, but Spencer makes no move to pay attention to you. You bite your lip, anger rising inside you. It hurts. You never thought he would just dismiss you so coldly. You try to concentrate on the lecture, but Spencer, now Professor Reid, brings back memories of that night. And you wonder how he manages to act like there's nothing between you.
Nothing happens throughout the entire lecture. No look. Not a single word. You fight your anger as he explains the first topic and requirements for the exams in a calm voice, but you don't hear anything. Your thoughts only revolve around what happened earlier. Why is he completely ignoring you? Does he think you’re not going to keep this a secret?
Finally, after what feels like forever, the lecture is over. The room slowly empties and you remain seated in your row while the other students leave the lecture hall. Your pulse is racing, but you need to know what's going on between you now. You want to tell him that he doesn’t have to worry about you spilling this secret. You can't just go home and let it go now.
You get up, pack up your things and walk towards Spencer. You have the feeling that every step you take now echoes throughout the room. "Spencer… I mean, Professor Reid, can we talk?" you call but before you even get to the front he has already packed all his things and leaves the room without paying any attention to you.
You stop, angry, hurt, disappointed. The lump in your throat keeps getting bigger. You feel empty, like the ground has been pulled out from under you. What is he thinking? Why is he acting like this now? Why can't you just clarify the problem? With one last look at the door, you leave the lecture hall and know that this is far from over.
-
The next few weeks are not different. He avoids you, ignores you completely and you hope your grades won't be negatively affected, but you're willing to take him on if it comes to that. You're on your way to your next lecture when suddenly someone calls you. You turn around and see Finn. You met him during your first semester and have been friends ever since.
Finn sprints a few steps until he is next to you and holds out your headphones. “You forgot your headphones in the library earlier,” he says. “Oh, thanks! I already looked for them, I thought I just forgot them at home again.” You take them out of his hands and quickly put them in your bag.
As you stroll through the hallway together, you suddenly hear Spencer's voice and automatically turn around. You see him holding a coffee and talking to another student. She laughs and you can clearly see her getting closer to him, flirting and throwing herself at him. You immediately feel panic rising within you.
Every girl you knew has a crush on him. You can’t blame them, he’s attractive after all, but you can’t help but feel jealous. He ignores you but lets other students hit on him. This is too much. Why does he play this game with you like nothing happened while he behaves like this towards others?
Suddenly he turns around and meets your eyes. It's the first time that your eyes cross again since he came in on the first day. You can see a fleeting grin on his face before he turns away again. He leans down to the student who is showing him her notes, and you can see her leaning even closer towards him. The knot in your stomach tightens.
Finn follows your gaze and raises an eyebrow, his curiosity piqued and with a look that almost seems too amused, he asks, “Are you okay? You look… hurt?” You shake your head. “I’m fine,” you say, even though you feel the fear bubbling inside you. You’re afraid he found someone better than you. "Let's go."
You enter the lecture hall together but you can't concentrate. Spencer is in your head the whole time, and the more you think about the scene, the angrier you get. And then suddenly an idea comes to you. A plan. A very good plan. Maybe you can play this game too and make him jealous, but on your terms.
After the lecture, you stay with Finn and wait until most of the other students have left the room. You look around once to make sure no one is listening before you whisper, “I need your help. But you have to promise me you won’t ask any questions.” Finn looks at you curiously. “Okay, what’s this about?”
You sigh and look him straight in the eyes. “I wanted to ask you if it would be okay with you if you helped me make someone jealous. Pretend you’re interested in me and dating me,” you explain to him.
Finn grins, a slight smile spreading across his face. “Of course I can do that.” Then he tilts his head slightly. “But I do have one question. Does this whole thing have something to do with Professor Reid? I can tell something happened between you,” he asks with an amused look.
You immediately blush and try not to get caught. “Shh, keep quiet,” you whisper, looking around nervously. “And I said no questions. So, are you in or not?” Finn laughs, shakes his head and raises his hands as if to apologize. “Okay, okay, I understand. Sure, I can help you.” You breathe out a sigh of relief and grin at him. "Thanks!"
-
A few days later you can finally carry out your plan. Finn sits down next to you in the lecture hall and as soon as Spencer enters the room, Finn leans closer to you and casually puts an arm around the chair next to you. Then he whispers in your ear. "I'm curious to see if that works."
Even though you said he shouldn't ask any questions, you told him what happened between you and Spencer. You know you can trust him and he would find out sooner or later anyway because he plays along with this whole thing.
You giggle softly. "I really hope so. Thank you for taking part in all of this,” you say quietly but you get interrupted immediately. "If you think you need to talk while I'm teaching, you can leave straight away. I expect everyone to be quiet,” Spencer says and when you look up you can see his eyebrows furrowed in annoyance. You lean a little further away from Finn and can't help but smile.
That went faster than expected. You notice that he is no longer ignoring you. His eyes keep wandering over to you to see what you are doing, if Finn is getting closer to you. The atmosphere is not as relaxed as it used to be, everyone can tell the he is not in a good mood today.
When the lecture is over you pack your things and as you leave the room Finn puts an arm around your waist and pulls you closer to him. You can feel Spencer’s gaze following you and you're annoyed that you didn't think of making him jealous sooner. But it doesn’t matter now, you’re happy your plan works.
-
Unfortunately you weren't able to carry out your plan any further this week. Spencer has been missing the rest of the week and you assume he is busy working on a case with the team. It felt like the week wasn't going to end at all and when you go to the library with Finn on Monday morning, you hope that Spencer is coming back now.
You sit down at the table together with a coffee and start writing on your essays, using the free time to get ahead with it. You're completely focused on your work until Finn suddenly bumps into you with his leg under the table. You look up confused before he places a hand on your thigh and leans forward. He whispers in your ear "Your favorite professor is back.”
You nod and lean in closer too, you don't want to look in Spencer’s direction so that he thinks you haven't noticed him. “Is it okay if we kiss?” you ask and Finn nods. You try to ignore Spencer as much as he ignored you. But you can still feel his gaze fixed on you.
Finn leans forward and places a quick, gentle kiss on your lips. When he leans back he can see Spencer’s angry look. "He didn't look happy with it,“ he says and you laugh. "Then I did everything right. I hope that this was not too much. I'm sorry then." You say but he just waves it off. "It's all good, I agreed to the whole thing. I just hope that it works out for you in the end,” he says and winks at you.
The two of you stay a little longer and continue learning and working on your essays but after a while you decide to leave. You turn to Finn. “I'll leave now. I can't concentrate anymore anyway. And thanks for helping me out again.” You say, packing up your things. "No problem. I'll stay a little longer and use the time I’ve left. I'll see you tomorrow then,” he says and you nod. "See you tomorrow.”
-
It feels like a small victory as you leave the library. Not only have you made progress with your learning, but you have also been able to continue putting your plan into action. If you and Finn keep it up, Spencer will definitely talk to you about it soon.
Now you just want to listen to music and get rid of the remaining tension and you look for your headphones in your bag again. They must be somewhere between the notes and other things, you're sure you packed them this time. “Where the fuck are they?” you mutter under your breath and continue digging in your bag.
But then you suddenly feel a movement in front of you. You look up and freeze. There he stands. Spencer. Arms crossed, eyes sternly fixed on you. You immediately tear your eyes away from his and want to walk past him without saying a word, but he notices what you're up to. He's getting in your way.
“What do you want now?” You try to keep your voice calm, but inside your heart is already beating a little faster. The look he gives you is hard, almost annoyed.
“You will come with me,” he says. You cross your arms over your chest and looking at him as if you are really annoyed. "What's that supposed to mean? I have to go home.”
He shakes his head. “You’re coming with me now. We need to talk.” You roll your eyes. "Oh, do we now? And what exactly do you want to talk about, Professor?” Your voice sounds sharper than you planned. “You’ve just been ignoring me for the last few weeks. Do you even know my name anymore?” you ask him. “Why should I have forgotten your name?” he asks and raises an eyebrow.
“Because you‘ve been ignoring me since our first day here! I understand, I'm your student now, but I -“ you start but he interrupts you. You see his face harden, his expression becoming even more serious. “Not here. Come with me, now.” You feel a mixture of anger and nervousness building up inside you. You just want to brush him off, but somehow you also feel like challenging him.
“Make me,” you say, your voice challenging, almost mocking. You look him straight in the eyes, watching what he'll do next. He barely blinks, glancing quickly down the hall as if to make sure no one sees you. Then he suddenly grabs your arm. It‘s not a gentle hold, he grabs you firmly, dragging you behind him without another word.
“You should really stop messing with me.“ He sounds angry. “I like trouble,” you say with a smirk and try to pull away. But you feel his hand holding you tight. One last thought comes to you before you're dragged down the hallway. What the hell does he actually want from you now?
-
A few minutes later you are standing in front of his office and he unlocks the door. You go in and look around. It's the first time you're here, you never went to his office hours. There are a lot of books lying around and you take a look at the titles. Spencer, on the other hand, locks the door behind you. You're about to reach for a book, but he interrupts you.
“I want to talk to you. Sit down,” he says and points to the chair on the opposite side of the table. You think about it for a moment, but decide against it. Instead you stay in front of his table with your arms crossed. You want to get back at him for treating you like that, even if it's hard because you want nothing more than for him to kiss and touch you again.
“Oh now, after weeks, you want to talk. In case you haven't noticed, Professor, I've been wanting to talk for a long time. You were the one who disappeared straight away when I approached you,” you say and roll your eyes again. You are curious to see how long he will let you continue like this before he snaps.
He stands up and walks towards you in long, slow steps. When he stands in front of you he lifts your chin. He finally touches you again you feel a shiver run down your spine. His pupils are dark and you can see the lust in them you already saw the night you first met.
“Do you want to know why I didn’t talk to you, baby?” he asks and you can’t help yourself and nod. You need to know what he is thinking. He leans down and his mouth is directly against your ear. Being this close to him again turns you on immensely.
“All I could think about after this night was you - your gorgeous lips wrapped around my cock, your pretty pussy taking me so well and your sweet moans when I made you come. It was a shame that I couldn't stay longer in the morning to fuck you again. You've been on my mind the whole time after that night. And then I come in, for work, and you're sitting there. All I wanted was to bend you over my table and fuck you again,” he says before he leans back to look into your eyes again.
“But I was overwhelmed by the whole situation. It was my first day as a professor and I didn't want to risk getting fired. That's why I avoided you. I saw how much it bothered you and I have to admit, I liked seeing you so jealous when I was talking to other students, to see that I have this effect on you.” His face suddenly hardens again. “Until you thought you had to play this game with me too and make me jealous with your friend. I knew it from the beginning.”
You grin and decide to continue playing with him. “Oh, that doesn’t really matter to me. It still worked, didn’t it?” you say and then he finally snaps. He takes a step towards you and puts a hand around your throat, pulling you closer to him. "You've taken it too far. He kissed you, touched you, held you in his arms." His grip tightens, but you realise there is some hesitation, he’s still careful because he doesn’t want to hurt you.
“I can do whatever I want, professor. I am not your property,” you breath out and give him a challenging look. “No? You will be soon.“ He lets go of your throat, turns you around and bends you over his desk. “Actions have consequences and you will now see what yours have.” His words send a shiver down your spine and you shutter in excitement.
He notices and chuckles before he flips your skirt over and exposes your underwear. His hands roam over your ass, squeezing it before he pulls back and suddenly his hand comes down onto your ass. He just spanked you. You can feel a stinging sensation and it turns you on even more. “I’m going to remind you who you belong to. You’re going to count and take your punishment like a good girl, do you understand?” he asks.
You nod and he pulls you back by your hair. “Words, baby,” he says. “Yes, I - I understand.” He lets go of your hair and his hand goes back to your ass, grazing the spot he just spanked before and without a warning his hand comes down on the other side. You whimper and begin to count. “One.” His hand rubs the spot almost soothingly before he continues. You are getting wetter with each strike.
“You’re enjoying this. I can see how wet you are. I bet you missed me in the last few weeks, am I right?” he asks. “I did,” you admit before his hand comes down again. “Two,” you continue to count. “Tell me, did you touch yourself at night, thinking about me? How good I fucked you? How I made you come again and again, on my tongue and on my cock?”
He leans down to whisper in your ear again. “Because I did. I stroked myself at night, wishing it was your hand, your lips or your pussy wrapped around my cock. I couldn’t wait to finally have you again.” He admits before his hand comes down on your ass again. “Three. Yes, I - I did. I couldn’t stop thinking about you either,” you say and he chuckles.
“Just like I thought,” he says before he continues with his punishment. He turns your ass red and decides after ten strikes that you have enough. “I’m proud of you baby. You took it like the good girl we both know you are. You just need someone that discipline you sometimes. Isn’t that right?” he asks. “Thank you. That’s… that’s right Sir.”
Spencer grins and turns you around, finally pressing his lips against yours again. He taste likes coffee, toothpaste and cinnamon. It’s addictive. His tongue explores your mouth and you moan against him, pressing your body against his, roaming you hands over his chest. You remember every spot and every muscle like it was yesterday. It’s no surprise though because you had to think back to the night you spent together every evening.
Spencer starts kissing down your neck, making sure to leave a hickey there, just like he did the first time he fucked you. Your hands run through his soft hair, pressing him closer to you and when you give them a thug he growls. “Please, touch me. I need you,” you say, desperate for more. “Eager, aren’t we?” His hand slides between your legs and up your thigh.
When he finds your soaked panties he chuckles. “You’re soaked, baby. All this, just for me. Do you want me to help you out? Make you come on my mouth or my fingers again?” he asks and you nod before you breath out “Both please.” He laughs. “You really need me that badly? Then beg for it,” he says with an amused look on his face.
He’s clearly enjoying this. You don't care if you sound pathetic, you listen straight away to what he asked you to. “Please, I want you to make me come. Please fuck me with your fingers. Eat me out. I need you,” you beg. “Good girl,” he praises before he reaches for your panties and slides them down your legs.
As soon as you step out of them he grabs them and puts them in his pocket. Then he places you on his desk, presses your back down and leans forward to lick a stripe up your pussy. You moan and immediately reach for his hair again, pressing him closer to you. “Please, more,” you moan. His thumb teases your clit before he pushes two fingers into you.
Your eyes roll back and you bite down on your lip to keep quiet, which is really hard because he’s just too good. You feel everything, his tongue, his lips and the stubbles of his facial hair as he eats you out like a man starved. The combination of his tongue and fingers is overwhelming. You’re losing yourself in the pleasure quickly, feeling how your climax approaches.
Spencer however notices too and pulls back, his lips glistening with your arousal. “I didn’t give you permission to come,” he says and you whine. He just laughs quietly before pushing his fingers in your mouth. “Clean them,” he says and you obey. He watches you very closely and you decide to tease him more, the tip of your tongue strokes his fingertips. ��Fuck me Sir, please,” you say and look straight into his eyes.
You can see the lust in them and he wastes no time and reaches for his belt, pulling his cock out. He strokes himself a few times and you can’t keep your eyes off him. “You like watching me, don’t you? Do you want to watch while I make myself come and leave you with nothing?” he asks and you immediately shake your head. “No, I need you.”
“Didn’t expect anything else from my little slut,” he says and slides his cock through your folds. You wrap your legs around him and he finally pushes in. You moan and he clasps a hand over your mouth to keep you quiet. “Shh, be quiet for now. I’m gonna make you scream my name tonight, but not here.” Your eyes widen. So this is not going to be the last time he fucks you.
You feel the relief, but you don't have time to think further about his words because he starts to pound into you. You missed this feeling so much and get lost in the pleasure. His hand wraps around your throat again, squeezing it, just the way you told him you like it. “Fuck, baby, you feel so good. I missed this. I couldn’t stop thinking about you after that night. And now I finally have you again. You’re all mine. Say it.”
“I’m - I’m yours. Only yours,” you say and pull him in for a kiss. You can still taste yourself on his lips. When he pulls back he slides out of you, flipping you over and bending you over his desk again. A few seconds later he’s already back into you, fucking you from behind. He slaps your ass again and you inhale sharply. It stings more than before now, you’re sensitive after the spanking.
He lets you forget about the pain though when he keeps hitting your g-spot over and over again. The new angle makes you see stars. “God, you’re perfect. So thight and wet. I could fuck you all night,” he says while his fingers keep digging deep into your hips, holding you thight. “You should see yourself. So pretty with your ass spanked red and bent over my desk, taking my cock like a good girl.”
You can feel that you’re slowly losing control. You just want to come, especially after he denied you earlier. “Can I - can I come now please?“ you whisper while he keeps thrusting into you. “I can’t hear you. Ask again,” he says and you can tell that he’s teasing you. “Can I come?” you ask again, louder this time. “Ask nicely, baby,” he says, driving you crazy. “I want to come, can I - can I please come?” you ask again, making sure to speak loud enough this time.
“No,” he simply says, pulling out of you and pushing you on your knees. “Open,” he says and you obey, taking his cock into your mouth. He pulls your hair into a makeshift ponytail and fucks your throat. You can feel his cock twitch and a few seconds later he comes inside your mouth. You swallow everything and look up to him, begging him with your eyes to finally let you come now.
He pulls you up and lifts your chin with his hand before kissing you again. “You did so good, baby. But you have to wait until we’re home. Because when I make you come again, I want to hear you scream my name. Can you do that for me?” You clench your legs together in excitement. “Yes. But can we leave right away then?” you ask and he laughs. “Of course baby.” He helps you collect all your things before the two of you sneak out of his office and through the hallways to his car to drive home.
#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds smut#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid smut#professor reid#professor x student#post prison reid
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Hi, absolutely love your writing style and that you not oversimplify characters.
You wrote before, that Nam-gyu and y/n (I’m not sure if she is even y/n) are fighting fiery and a lot. Could you write about one of those scandals and the behavior of both after it.
It can be your headcanons or a full drabble, you choose. Though I’d love to see replicas of both during the argument and afterwards.
Once again, love your works 💋
addicted to the drama
— pairing: nam-gyu x f!reader — summary: a relationship with someone like nam-gyu isn't easy, or peaceful. far from it, but you're in this shit for the long haul. OR; three fights with nam-gyu and three ways it gets 'resolved.' — warnings: suggestive moments, a littleeeee gross, he's especially gross in the second fight i'm sorry :(, mentions of sex but no crazy explicit smut, 18+, the girls are fightinggg, there's a little fluff in here, nam-gyu is veryyy not nice in the third fight and uses rather mean language, drug use, not proof-read! — word count: 11.3k — a/n: hiiiiii thank you so so much for the request and the kind words omg (seriouslyyy thank you :*)) <333 this is my first time ever doing one, so i hope i didn't stray too far from what you wanted, haha. i think nam-gyu is definitely a petty little shit when it comes to arguments with his s/o and definitely more than a little emotionally constipated. i went ahead and included 3 different fights, all with varying levels of seriousness lolol. i'm sorry it took so long, i got a little carried away LMAO. there's a bunch of my headcanons sprinkled in here ofc, but maybe i'll make a separate headcanons only post in the future TToTT I hope you like it!!! <3
In a bad mood, baby, come work me out.
You don't ask for much. You don't think you do, at least.
A tidy space meant a tidy mind meant a tidy life. It doesn't seem that hard of a concept to grasp. To you.
Nam-gyu's shoes are strewn lazily across the floor in front of you, shoe prints outlined and punctuated by a wetness that traced their path from start to finish. Rain water pools beneath the soles, dripping like a damn crime scene. You let out a deep sigh, swallowing your anger as you hung your jacket on the rack.
Your eyes flick over the apartment, taking a mental note of every offense and sorting them in the framework of your mind as you built your case. A discarded glass of iced tea on the island, half sipped, then forgotten. A stray sock on the floor, far from its home in the laundry bin overflowing with Nam-gyu's unfolded clothes. A cup of ramen with the chopsticks still in it. You step forward, grabbing a box of snacks on the coffee table. It was too light, nothing but cardboard and air as you shook it. Empty. You slam it into the recycling bin with more effort than necessary.
Your anger simmers, about ready to spill over as you push past the door to your bedroom. He's exactly where you knew he'd be, splayed out lazily across the bed in shorts and a loose shirt, one hand pillowing his head while the other gripped his phone.
"Nam-gyu."
He hums in vague acknowledgment, eyes still trained on his phone. You swipe at it, knocking it out of his hand, watching his face bloom with a mix of confusion and anger as it tumbles onto his chest, narrowly missing his face.
He curls his lip. "The hell is your problem?"
"Your shoes."
"My shoes," he responds flatly.
You suck in a breath. "In the middle of the floor. Dripping."
He rolls his eyes at you and puncutates it with a scoff. "My god. You're so dramatic."
You throw your arms out. "Is it that hard to wipe them and put them on the rack?"
"Yeah, yeah," he says. Dismissal. "I'll do it later, relax."
"You will not do it later."
He exhales, a hand dragging down his face like you're the one exhausting him. "Shit, you're so uptight sometimes. It's just a little mess."
You scoff. "A little mess that you leave sitting there for days!"
He grunts, the only sign that he heard you, before turning over onto his side to unlock his phone again.
Your eye twitches.
Fine.
The next morning, you don't put your makeup away after getting ready for work. Your cups populate the apartment, gathering on every surface like a small village. Your jackets find homes on the couch, the floor, the backs of the few chairs you two had. A stray sock joins his on the ground. Then a shirt. A pair of underwear. Fuck it. You add another sock for good measure.
It only takes two days for Nam-gyu to break. He catches you on the way to the bathroom, his hand digging into your waist as he whips you around, interrupting your plans to continue building the ongoing crime scene of makeup in the sink.
"Cut it the fuck out."
You smile. "I don't know what you mean."
He narrows his eyes, jaw clenching. "Oh my god, you're insane. I get it, okay? Fuck." His hand goes up to rub at his temples for a moment before dragging slowly down his face in defeat.
He points past you at the bathroom sink surrounded in puffs of eyeshadow and smears of foundation. "Deal with... that. I'll get the rest of it."
You stand there, biting back a smile as he lets out an exasperated sigh, pushing up his sleeves and tucking his bangs behind his ears before leaning down to tackle the mess—half you and half him. You're about to tease him when his eyes zero in on something on the ground. He picks it up with a smirk, holding it up in the air in front of you. It's your underwear.
"Honestly?" He looks away from you for a moment, his eyes dragging over it for too long, as if inspecting every twist of the lace. "I don't really mind if you keep leaving these around." He raises his eyebrows at you as a grin stretches across his face. You roll your eyes with a disgusted scoff, but you don't care, not really.
He opens his mouth to say something more, but you're already shutting the bathroom door behind you with a click.
You lean against the sink, hands gripping the cool marble as you let out a sigh of relief. Victory.
---
The next time you fight, it's under the pretense of something fun. You'd complained about how little time the two of you had spent together in the past week. Every time you were home, he was at work. Every time he was home, you were at work— or too exhausted from said work to do anything.
So he proposed a compromise. A night out together at the nightclub, he'd said. A nice way to spend time with each other even when he was on the clock. Like 'take your kid to work' day, except the 'kid' was his annoyed girlfriend. And the 'work' was a shady nightclub filled with too many loud, intoxicated people. And the 'day' was actually a night choking on smoke and sweat and too much noise that stretched way too long, like a guest overstaying their welcome.
You lean against Nam-gyu, staring out into the crowd of people as he tangles in conversation with another one of the club's regular VIPs. You found your head spinning from the revolving door of people that he'd spoken to all night. You wonder how someone as naturally introverted and—rough as him could stand this job.
You listen in, attention flitting in and out as they spoke. He says something so out of character that it catches you off guard. You let out an amused puff of air. He's too animated, too bubbly, too eager to please people that barely know his name. For what it was worth, he was certainly one hell of an actor. Anything to get the guests—and the drugs—coming over and over again, you suppose.
It's not long before you feel his warmth inch away from your body. An alarm. You look up, and his hands are already on your shoulders, rubbing quickly up and down in a way that signals 'hey, I'm about to do something that you probably don't want me to do, but I'm gonna do it anyways'. Your mouth is already opening to complain, but he beats you to it.
"I'm gonna step out for a second, okay?" He's not looking at you. He leans in closer, voice dropping to a whisper. "This guy is offering me some good shit. Gotta take it. He's real important."
He brushes the ghost of a kiss to the back of your head, no doubt an attempt to placate your already building annoyance, but it barely registers. His hands pick up speed on your shoulders, rubbing the last bit of warmth into you before he's pulling away, smiling with enthusiasm as he leaves to pump more chemicals into his body.
You let your head tip back as your eyes shut. Nam-gyu never ceases to amaze you with just how many bad decisions he can make in one night. The air around you hums with music, closing in on your little spot by the bar. You drum your fingers against the counter, trying and failing to convince yourself that you're having fun.
You're about to stand—go outside to get some air maybe—when someone slips into the seat behind you, filling Nam-gyu's spot.
"Hey."
You startle a bit, not expecting the sudden conversation.
It's a man dressed in all black, a silver chain glinting against his collarbone. He smells like smoke and beer. Based on his attire, it's not hard to deduce that this is one of Nam-gyu's coworkers, another promoter, you were sure.
You nod at him politely, not really sure what to expect but not wanting to be rude, either. It'd be best not to cause problems with anyone working alongside your boyfriend, you figure. "Hello."
He's nice enough, asking you about how your night was going, what other clubs you'd been to, what kind of drinks you like.
Your face softens into a smile as the conversation continues, your initial suspicion simmering down and settling into something resembling ease as you realize he's just another guy on the clock doing his job: promoting the club.
He leans over, taking his phone out to show you something, and that's when you notice just how close he'd gotten to you since he sat down. You inch away slightly but still listen politely as he pitches one of the club's themed parties.
You nod your head with a vague interest as he scrolls through his photo gallery. Although you were never much into clubbing, you could admit that some of the events looked kind of cool. As he continues going through the photos, one in particular—a Valentine's night—catches your eye. You lean in, and your shoulders brush at the movement.
"That one's cute," you say, pointing at it as you take in the background details. Pink strobe lights, heart balloons, and rose bouquets. A small smile tugs at your lips as you imagine Nam-gyu in his work outfit, his sleeves rolled up and hair tucked behind his ears, knee-deep in a pile of cutesy, pink decorations. The thought brought some color to your cheeks. You'd have to bring it up to him later. Maybe that would be a more fun night for you to attend with him.
Unbeknowst to you, the man beside you was in the middle of taking your statement the completely wrong way. He raises his eyebrows, studying the pink dusting your cheeks and the way your face focused in on his phone screen. He scoots even closer, testing. When you don't react, he reaches out an arm, slowly draping over you as his hand finds its way to your shoulder. His grip on you is light, not forceful, not trapping, but you still stiffen at the contact.
"You think so?" he says, a smirk on his face. He ducks down so he's eye level with you. Too close. "Hey, if you promise me you'll go to our next one, I'm sure I can get you a discount," he brings his phone up again, tapping quickly until he's at the 'contacts' screen, "here, let me get your number so you can—"
You shrink back sheepishly, realizing that you have to nip this interaction in the bud. He looks at you, confusion written across his face, but he lets his arm fall to his side.
"Uh, sorry—do you know Nam-gyu?" you ask, thinking it was as good a time as any to bring him up.
He raises his eyebrows at the sudden shift in topic. "Nam-gyu...? Yeah. I work with him." A flash of recognition. His eyes widen. "Oh. Shit—are you the girl he came in with?"
You nod, a polite smile returning to your face as the man immediately retracts from you, an apologetic look on his face.
You open your mouth to speak, "Yeah, he's my—" Boyfriend, you try to say, but you're cut off by a rush of hands looping at your waist, tugging you backwards into a tight hold.
The familiar rumble of Nam-gyu's voice fills your ears as he leans over you. You twist around, looking up to see his face, both startled and relieved at his sudden entrance. He's staring down at you lazily through half-lidded eyes, and you can see how blown out his pupils are, even in the dim light. You barely have time to react or make a snarky comment before he's pressing his lips to yours, earning a small noise of surprise.
The kiss is welcome until a hand drifts to your chin, tilting you upwards, deeper, drifting into something that felt a little too intimate to be doing in a public space.
Remembering your audience, you pull away, a gentle hand on his chest acting as a barrier between the two of you. His coworker is looking at the two of you, his expression both sheepish and embarrassed, like he was intruding on something he shouldn't be— and honestly, he kind of was, what with the way Nam-gyu was glowering at him.
He stands up, giving Nam-gyu an apologetic nod as he clears his throat, hands flying to his pockets as he prepares to leave.
Nam-gyu smiles, nodding curtly back at him, but you know him well enough to recognize the tension in his jaw, the ingenuity in his smile. "Hey, man."
"Hey." He looks off to the side and then back again. "My bad, man. I didn't know she—"
"I think I can handle this one from here," Nam-gyu says, cutting him off with a barely disguised edge in his voice. There's a squeeze at your waist, a hand on your shoulder. "You can go find some other chicks to bother, right?" He cocks his head to crowd of people gathered in the center of the club, a small, mocking laugh leaving his lips. "I'm sure one of them will fuck you."
You recoil at his tone—and his gross implication, hand going up to lightly smack at his chest. You wonder if the drugs were cutting off the circulation to his brain.
"Nam-gyu!" you hiss, but he doesn't look at you.
His coworker curls his lip, eyes narrowing. "Jesus, dude. I said my bad. I didn't realize she was with you, alright?" He shook his head, turning around and promptly removing himself from the situation. He shot one last look at the two of you over his shoulder, returning the glare that Nam-gyu was still giving him.
Once his back fully disappears into the crowd, you stand up, knocking Nam-gyu's hands off of you as you fix him with a stare.
"What the hell was that?" you deadpan, arms crossing. "He literally said he was sorry."
"'What the hell was that?'" he mocks, his voice climbing a few octaves to match yours. He snorts, ignoring the frustration coloring your face. "I could ask you the same damn thing." He leans down, a hand drifting to the nape of your neck as he crowds into your personal space. "So. What were you two talking about? You seemed real interested." His tone dips low into something icy, accusatory.
You scoff at him, explaining how the conversation was friendly, how he was unaware of your status as a couple, how he instantly backed off at the first sign that you were uncomfortable—
But Nam-gyu ignores you, his hands travelling over your body until they find a home at your shoulders. He spins you around, and you let him, exhaustion hitting you as you realize that your statements were going in one ear and out the other. He rubs at your arms yet again as he pushes you forward, making you walk with him as he leads you to one of the side rooms—a VIP room, you come to realize.
"C'mon," he says, voice thick with whatever drug he'd just taken, "got s'more guests to entertain in here, and you get to come with me."
You roll your eyes. "Yayyy." You continue to count down the minutes left in his shift, but something told you that he was in the mood to clock in some over time.
The lounge is nice, spacious. It's at least a bit quieter than it is out in the main area, a perk you're somewhat thankful for as you adjust yourself on the couch. The guy from earlier is there too. You'd nodded at him when the two of you entered, small and polite and slightly apologetic. He ignored you, presumably for his own sake. You don't blame him.
The night continues, and you're silent, not really wanting to get in the way or be dragged into the conversation. You lean closer to Nam-gyu, craving his contact despite how annoying he's been. It wasn't exactly easy for you to relax in a room full of supposedly 'very important people' that you didn't know, all smiles and raucous laughter as they smoked and drank and huffed whatever came their way.
You were never the biggest fan of the world your boyfriend operated in, surrounded by substances and fast people with fast money that seemed to move quicker than their minds could make decisions, but it's what you signed up for when you got into a relationship with him, after all.
He's chatting it up with a particularly loud, and—unique-looking guy to his left, two girls practically melted into him at both sides. Goes by 'Thanos', you come to find out. A famous rapper with a lot of status and—from how he was speaking—a whole lot of money. His purple hair draws your attention, making his presence impossible to ignore in the confined space, that and his peculiar way of speaking, puncutated by random bursts of english.
You carefully snake a hand around Nam-gyu's arm, wanting to be closer but not wanting to interrupt. He gives you a small glance before brushing you off, you shoot him a look but then his arm is looping around your waist, pulling you into his side. He adjusts your legs so they're draped over his lap, and you redden, feeling like it was the slightest bit too much.
The others at the table didn't seem to mind, though, too caught up in their own conversations to care about your inner turmoil.
You slowly relax as he returns to his conversation. His hands are warm against you, one resting gently at the small of your back, the other rubbing light circles into the exposed skin of your leg. Nam-gyu was a touchy guy, something that you'd gotten used to in your time together. Always a hand at your shoulder, fingers ghosting against your hip, an arm slung lazily across your lap. Nothing too out of the ordinary.
It was fine at first, a comfort amidst the torturously long shift. His touches were soft, subtle, light, a welcome feeling.
Then, it escalates. He laughs at a particularly stupid joke from Thanos, too loud, too eager. It sounds fake. Whether it was due to the drugs or his desire to get into Thanos' good graces, you weren't sure. Either way, you don't have time to dwell on it before he's pulling you again, closer, until you're on his lap, his arms locking against your middle.
This, you conclude, was most definitely too much. You're quiet for a few moments as Nam-gyu's laughter winds down and Thanos turns to accept a joint from one of his lady-friends, a momentary calm falling over the room with the distraction.
You take the gap in conversation as an opportunity, fidgeting in your spot as you try to inch off of his lap. "Nam-gyu, can I get down?" you whisper.
He looks at you, his eyes blank as a playful smile creeps onto his face, but there's a tinge of something else there.
"What?" He lets out a breathy laugh, raising his eyebrows. His fingers ghost over your waist, your ribs, the slope of your neck. Then, he's tucking a fallen strand of hair behind your ears, smiling at you like a lovesick fool. You balk at the attention. He wets his lips before biting down on them. Eyeing you with a sudden razor-sharp focus. His voice comes out even, "You bored of me all of a sudden?"
You stare at him, incredulous. "What is with you right now?" He's not normally like this—touchy, yes, but not this... animated.
Nam-gyu just chews on his cheek, thinking for a moment before ultimately choosing to ignore your question. He pulls you closer until you're flush against his chest, your face burning red with embarrassment as he continues to hold you, his touch skimming dangerously close to indecency. You turn to the side, not wanting to meet anyone's gaze. At least he was warm, a silver lining.
Across the table, Nam-gyu locks eyes with his coworker, a silent battle still simmering in the weight of their stares.
This—his performance—was for everyone to see.
For him to see.
It wasn't even about you anymore. Just Nam-gyu's pride, his desire to win, even when no one else was playing the game.
A small misunderstanding, of which an apology had already been issued, it's fairly easy to let go, but Nam-gyu was never a fan of 'easy'.
The night pushes on, as does he. He whispers things you'd deem not very appropriate for company, much closer than necessary as he breathes against your neck, lips skimming the sensitive skin just beneath your ear. You mumble back a response, his fingers toying with the strap of your dress.
His behavior finally comes to a head a few moments later. Everyone at the table is chilled out, seemingly in a haze, likely from the weed and whatever else was spread out on the table. You wonder if it was finally about time for you to shove Nam-gyu in the car and go home.
Then, his hand is on your chin, guiding you to look up at him and fixing you with a stare that lasts a few beats too long, and then he's leaning down, closer, too close, pressing a kiss to your lips that he tries to deepen. It's dizzying, overwhelming, and entirely unlike him. You quickly break the contact, not giving him the opportunity to up the intensity. Not in front of all these people.
Thanos whistles from his seat, long and drawn out. It makes you want to melt into the couch.
Your face is red as you stand, suddenly aware of all the eyes on you.
"I'm going to the bathroom," you say, voice coming out in a flurry as you turn away from him.
Behind you, he meets eyes with his coworker for the last time that night, a cocky, infuriating smirk on his face.
He picks up the jacket that you'd left on the couch, throwing it over his shoulder before tossing a lazy 'goodbye' over his shoulders as he follows you. The performance was over.
The silence on the car ride home is suffocating, the engine humming beneath the tension. The energy shift is palpable—one second he was all over you, whispering into your ear and raking his fingers over every expanse of exposed skin, and then, nothing.
Nam-gyu had sobered up enough to drive, thankfully, because you were in no mood to do so. He drives with one hand on the steering wheel, his other arm leaning out the window. His posture is lazy, leaning back in his seat with his legs spread out in a way that appears casual, but the way his jaw is set, the tension in his knuckles where he grips the steering wheel, the effort he expends to not meet the stare you're boring into the side of his head—it all betrays him, how he really feels.
His lips are set into a thin, irritated line as he drives. His eyes flick to the radio, and his hand leaves the steering wheel for a moment as he turns it on, upbeat pop music filling the car but doing little to mask the fact that he was simmering, barely keeping his temper in check.
You ran out of patience from waiting for him to speak first. "So. You done being weird now?"
Nothing.
"Nam-gyu."
Still nothing.
You let out a small huff that trails off into a laugh. "Wow. So you can run your mouth all night, but now all of a sudden you're quiet?"
His fingers tighten on the steering wheel at that, his pointer finger twitching as he taps against it, the subtle clinking of his ring against the wheel queueing you in to how close you were to getting a reaction.
You roll your eyes. "You're such a fucking child, sometimes. You know that?"
"Shut up."
Your eyes widen. "Excuse me?"
"I said," he hisses, eyes narrowing as his grip on the wheel tightens, "shut up." There's something in his voice that makes you listen. It's low, firm, clipped in a way that tells you he's barely keeping himself from snapping.
You study him, taking note of the way he bites at his lip, the bob of his adam's apple as he swallows hard, and the way his hand flexes against its resting spot by the window.
You huff, turning to face the window and mirroring his posture.
Fine.
Soon, he's shifting the car into park, but he doesn't move. Doesn't turn off the engine.
Just sits there.
You don't turn around to face him. He doesn't ask you to, either.
The low rumble is the only sound between the two of you.
You didn't want to be the first one out of the car, and clearly, he didn't want to be either. It was like you two were in a standoff—a childish, petty standoff.
The silence is pointed, buzzing under the weight of all the things you weren't saying to each other. He lets out a sharp exhale, and you feel his stare on the back of his head. You refuse to turn around, refuse to give him the satisfaction.
You feel it, the way he's sitting there waiting for you to break the silence, as if this was somehow your fault and it was your responsibility to rectify it—waiting for you to sigh and grab his hand or say something snarky to give him an excuse to argue with you. It doesn't come.
He's the first to break, clearly tired from his shift, not to mention hungry for something to put in his body other than drugs ands cheap beer. He lets out a scoff before finally shifting the key in the ignition, shutting off the comforting thrum of the engine. He throws his door open, slamming it behind him as he fishes the apartment keys out of his pocket, not sparing you a glance as he walks towards the building.
You roll your eyes as you follow him, not like you had much choice.
The apartment is dim when you step inside, the only light coming from the fridge where Nam-gyu is standing, his body haloed in white as he pulls out a few snacks.
You flick on the light, ruining the dramatic environment he was building. You hang up your jacket and kick off your shoes, shutting the door behind you with a click as you fix him with a stare.
He turns, popping a few bites of something in his mouth before he leans against the counter, not meeting your eyes and instead staring at the wall across from him as if it had somehow become the most interesting thing in the world.
You suck in a breath, a mixture of annoyance and exhaustion swirling inside you. In all honesty, you just want to go the fuck to sleep.
"Nam-gyu."
Nothing.
Fuck, you hated this. Hated when he clammed up and backed himself into a corner, turning his nose up at you and forcing you to drag the issue out of him like you were pulling teeth, like he was a damn child. Because why would he ever just tell you what the problem was so you two could talk it out? That'd be way too easy for the both of you.
You drag a hand down your face, pushing past him and moving towards the bedroom, your patience running extremely, extremely thin.
"Jesus, you're exhausting."
His lip twitches at that. "What, running away again?" he says, voice indignant as he steps in front of you, cutting you off.
"Ohhh." You throw your hands up at him, a mocking smirk on your face. "Now you wanna talk."
He closes in on you, so close that you can smell the smoke and chemicals still clinging to his clothes. He looks like he's going to speak, but he doesn't, just presses his lips into a tight, thin line, his expression laced with irritation.
You roll your eyes at the silence. He has no room to talk, and you know it. He knows it too, clear in the way he won't open his mouth.
"If you're gonna throw a temper tantrum every time a guy speaks to me, go ahead. Just leave me out of it." You step back from him, finding your way to the couch. If he wants to act like a dick, fine. Let him.
"I threw a tantrum?" he says, voice laced with something icy as his jaw ticks.
"Yes, Nam-gyu," you say, voice going high as if you were speaking to a child, "a whole fucking scene, actually."
He watches you with silent anger as you fluff up the couch pillows.
You hear a snort behind you. "Oh, sleeping on the couch, huh? Cute."
"Better than sleeping next to you right now."
A beat of silence.
Then— "Fine. Whatever. Do whatever the fuck you want."
He stomps into the bedroom, the door slamming shut behind him.
You stare down at your lap, brows furrowed in anger as you gave yourself a moment to calm down. Then, it dawned on you that you were still in the dress you'd worn to the club with makeup still on your face, the only change of clothes being in the room now occupied by your angry boyfriend.
Dammit. You lay against the couch. It's too lumpy. Too cold, without your thick blanket and Nam-gyu's shared body heat. The dress is tight against your skin.
Still, you lay there for a good ten minutes, refusing to fold.
When your efforts to wait him out prove to be fruitless, you let your eyes flutter shut with a sigh, not wanting to give him the satisfaction but knowing that there was no way you were going to get a good night's sleep out here.
Reluctantly, you get to your feet and shuffle quietly to the bedroom door. You linger there for a moment, steeling yourself.
Behind the door, Nam-gyu is laying in bed, clad in only his boxers as he stares up at the ceiling in the dark, his arms crossed over his chest as he drums his fingers anxiously, angrily, against his skin. His work clothes sat in a crumpled heap by the laundry basket, taken off and dumped in a flurry as he waited for you, refusing to get ready for bed before you cut the act and gave in, like you always did. He knew you'd kill him if you found out he'd laid on the bed with outside clothes.
He reaches over to his phone on the night stand, quickly clicking it on before shutting it off again.
Ten minutes. Fuck. How long were you gonna keep this up for?
His body twitches in reluctant defeat, and he's about to get up, swallow his pride to scoop you up from the couch and drag you into bed so he could get some goddamn sleep—but the sound of the door creaking open saves him. He swallows, body going still against the bed as you step inside.
A wave of relief washes through him, and he exhales like he's been holding his breath since the two of you had stepped foot in the car. He quickly recovers, though, a smug expression replacing his initial relief, hiding the fact that he was waiting for you.
You slink across the floor, refusing to make eye contact with him as you push the closet open and search for your pajamas.
"Oh, look who it is," he laughs, propping himself up on his elbows. "Miss me already, huh?"
You don't respond, eyes narrowing as you stack your clothes in a pile next to you. After gathering everything, you stand up and make your way towards the door without shooting him a glance.
You pause, curling your lip as the smell of the nightclub reaches your nose.
"You stink. At least have the decency to shower after the club before you roll around in our bed."
His expression sours behind you as you make your way out.
You shower quickly, half convinced if you took too long that Nam-gyu was going to bust in and try to argue with you again. You dry your hair, pull on your pajamas, and brush your teeth. When you open the door, he's there, sitting on the couch in his boxers. He doesn't look at you as he gets up, nudging you with his shoulder as he makes his way inside.
"Took you long enough," he scoffs.
You roll your eyes.
His shower is quick, rushed. When the door to the bathroom opens, all the steam escapes. He stands in the doorway with his towel clinging loosely to his hips, hair dripping as he shuts the door behind him, his skin pink from the scorching water.
You quickly still on the couch, shutting your eyes as you pretend to be asleep, trying to play it off like you weren't listening intently, waiting for his shower to be over. Waiting for him to crack so you didn't have to actually spend your night on the damn couch.
He lingers in the doorway for a moment, squinting as he zeros in the outline of your body. Then, you hear the soft pad of his footsteps as he makes his way over, the sliver of light pouring in from the bathroom being his only guide as he towers over you.
"I know your ass isn't asleep," he says, eyes narrowing as he crouches down next to your face.
You don't react. He wets his lips, mind reeling, searching for his next move.
Then, his hands are gently resting on your side. You swallow, holding your breath in anticipation. The heat of his skin prickles against you, still steamy from his shower, the damp scent of his shampoo filling the space between you.
And then—his fingers press into your sides, and he's tickling you.
You yelp, eyes flying open and body jerking violently as his fingers dig into your ribs, mapping over every ticklish spot on your body that he'd come to know in the time you two had been together.
"N-Nam-gyu!" you try to yell at him, but it trails off into shaky laughter, his touch relentless.
You can't hold it in, after all, who could? And then you're a red, laughing mess beneath him, your hands coming out from where they were pillowing your head a few moments prior, trying-- and failing, to get him off of you.
You try to twist away from him, but he follows, grinning now.
"Oh?" he says, his voice mockingly sweet, "I thought you were asleep?"
He clambers on top of you, water dripping from his hair and onto your dry, warm pajamas. You want to yell at him for not drying off completely before he came out, but you can't get it out between your laughter.
He's laughing now, too, his grin growing wider, and this time, there's no venom there, no smug satisfaction, no anger. It's just him and you. Giggling in the almost-darkness on your lumpy couch in your small apartment, tucked away in your own little pocket of the world.
"You—asshole!" But you can't stop laughing, grinning so hard it hurts, despite how badly you wanted to be mad at him. "I hate you!"
He shakes his head, eyes not leaving you for a second. "No, you don't." He smirks, pressing one last ticklish squeeze in your side, before relenting and taking a seat at your legs.
You're breathless, gasping and heart racing, still half-trapped beneath him.
He stares at you for a moment. His grin softens. Yours does, too.
He knows he'd been an asshole this whole night. Knew it before and after the drugs had worn off.
And though he still doesn't say it—I'm sorry—as if his body won't allow him to say it—he leans forward, hair still dripping onto your face, and he nudges his forehead against yours. Just once.
You let out a shaky, exasperated breath, finally able to compose yourself.
Your hand goes up to rest on his bare shoulder, a beat passes, and then you're tugging him gently down, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips.
"You," you say, shutting your eye as a droplet narrowly misses it, "are the biggest fucking baby alive."
He grunts.
You laugh, amused. In that moment, you know you'd won.
"Jealous little freak."
That earns you a huff.
The two of you sit there for a while, coming down from the moment. Once you can no longer stand the water dripping onto you, you shove him off.
"Hurry up and get ready for bed. I'm tired."
There's a ghost of a smile on his face as you push past him and collapse onto the bed.
Soon, he flops down next to you, the bed shifting under his added weight.
Silence.
He turns his head. A beat.
"So. You wanna fuck? Or..."
You exhale sharply through your nose in lieu of a response, rolling over to curl into his chest.
You press a kiss to his jaw as he drapes a hand across your waist, your voice sweet and laced with sleep as you lean into him, breath brushing against the shell of his ear as you whisper, "Go the hell to sleep."
He snorts, and soon, you're both drifting off into your own worlds.
---
The third time, it's not petty, not over a bout of jealousy.
It starts over money.
Of course it does. It always does.
You stand over him, trying to rub away the tension in your temples as he scrolls through his phone, ignoring you like he has all the time in the world.
"Seriously? You spent how much?" Your face is hot. "Are the drugs that good? They have to be, with how much money you throw away over them!"
Nam-gyu doesn't even look up at you. He's slouched, legs spread against the couch as he scoffs. "Why the fuck do you care?"
Your eyes widen. "Why do I— Nam-gyu, are you actually serious right now?"
He exhales sharply, shutting his eyes for a few seconds, as if this wasn't an extremely important and serious conversation. The sight makes your blood boil. He shuts off his phone and tosses it onto the coffee table with a clack.
"Look. I made the money—so I spent the money." He looks up at you then, his expression screaming that he'd rather be anywhere ot her than here. "I don't think it's that hard to understand."
"Yeah? With what fucking rent money, genius?" you spit back, your pulse quickening at his condescending tone.
He narrows his eyes at you, jaw flexing. Dangerous. "I said." He stands, looking down at you now. "I'll handle it." He presses two fingers to your chest, shoving you back lightly, a warning. "Now can you get the fuck off my back?"
You laugh, but there's no humor in it. "Really? When? Before or after the landlord's knocking on our door?" Your voice rises, the anger bubbling in your chest, getting ready to spill over. "Fuck, Nam-gyu! You always do this! Blow through your money—our money—like it's nothing and then act like I'm the problem for calling you out on it!"
"Oh yeah?" he says, stepping closer. His neck is tense. "And you do what? SIt there and bitch at me like you're my fucking mother?"
The words sting, but you don't back down. You open your mouth to fire back, but he's already speaking, practically yelling now.
"I was working. What the hell do you want me to do?"
"Working?" You bark out a laugh, mocking, incredulous. "That's what you call working? Getting fucked up and blowing your money on drugs for people that won't even remember your damn name?"
He takes a deep breath, nostrils flaring as he bites his lip. You're sure he's about to explode. It doesn't scare you.
"It's my job!" he yells, lips curling into a sneer. "What, you think you're an expert on my job now?"
"Your job is to promote the club, not snort half the fucking inventory!"
His face darkens, and something ugly twists in his features. You can't deny the way your hands shake at your sides.
"Fuck you."
"Fuck you too," you spit back.
The air shifts, the silence hanging between you two heavy and suffocating.
He shakes his head, looking off to the side like you were being ridiculous as he runs a hand through his hair. "You love doing this shit, don't you? Acting like you're so much better than me, like you've got everything figured out." He juts his chin out at you. "I bet you were just waiting for a reason to fucking lecture me again, huh?"
"Oh my god, Nam-gyu, this isn't about me. This is about your reckless spending habits—"
"And there it is! It's always my fault, isn't it? I'm always the villain, the big, bad piece of shit ruining your life. A screw-up that you have to fix." He smirks. "Go ahead. Call me a screw-up. I know you fucking want to."
You groan. "Do you hear yourself right now? I've never called you a screw-up! That's all in your head."
"Oh, yeah, but you sure as hell think it," he sneers, taking a step towards you. You don't move, determined to stand your ground. "You're always talking down to me like I'm an idiot. Like i'm just some loser that you have to babysit, because you're such a saint for putting up with someone like me." His eyes flash with anger. "You just wanna control me."
"Oh?" you huff, eyes narrowing. "So that's what this is about? Your ego?" Nam-gyu's jaw flexes at that, daring you to continue. "I don't wanna control you, Nam-gyu! I want to build a life with you! But you just keep sabatoging yourself—blowing through our savings on useless shit and poisoning your body while I try to save you!"
He laughs, a bitter, hollow sound. "I knew it!" He turns around and walks away from you, hands going up to tug at his hair as he paces across the floor. "You're just like every other bitch I've ever met. Always running your fucking mouth—acting like you know better. Acting like I need to be saved."
Your anger comes to a head, simmering and simmering until it was at the edge, just about ready to boil over. You step forward, cutting him off. "Maybe because you fucking do!"
He pauses, his face going blank as he stares at you. For a second—just a second—he looks wounded. Like you'd slapped him.
Then— "Oh, fuck off." He spits the words out like it's poison, hands falling from their place in his hair and leaving it a tousled mess. "You wanna 'save' me? What are you, my fucking mother?" His fingers twitch at his side. Then he scoffs, shaking his head at you, and a bitter smile stretches across his face. "No. You're not like my mom. You're worse. At least she knew when to shut the fuck up."
That did it.
Your anger boils over finally, coursing through every vein and artery until your body moves faster than you can think.
You slap him.
The sound cracks through the apartment like a gunshot.
He stumbles back, eyes wide and lips parted in genuine shock. He says nothing as he brings a hand up to his cheek, fingers pressing against the red mark blooming against his cheek. He's quiet for a moment.
Then: a laugh. Sharp and cold, slashing through the silence.
"Oh. Hah. There she is." He grins, but his eyes are wild. "The real you. The one who pretends to be so mature and understanding, but the second I hit a nerve, you turn into a hysterical, emotional bitch."
Your heart is slamming against your ribs now, and there's something hot pushing behind your eyes.
"I hate you." Your voice was shaking.
He doesn't flinch, just stands there, staring at you, but his fingers twitch, something cold taking form in his chest like a stone.
"Good." His voice is low, cold. Fake. "Then why the fuck are you still here?"
Something inside you snaps. Because underneath all the anger, you can hear what he's really saying.
Why haven't you left me yet?
But you're too furious to give him the reassurance you know he desperately wants—the reassurance he's waiting for with bated breath and clenched fists.
You won't give him the satisfaction.
You push past him, throwing the door open to the bedroom, one hand grabbing frantically at your clothes, the other clumsily fishing in your pocket for your phone. He follows you, suddenly silent.
You hear his breathing from the doorway. Heavy. Unsteady. Panicked. You pretend not to notice.
You dial your best friend, quickly bringing it up to your ear to hide the screen from Nam-gyu, hands trembling with anger.
"Hey," you say as soon as your friend picks up, voice shaking, "can you come get me?"
Nam-gyu's blood runs cold, something icy snaking through him and squeezing his chest like a vice.
Despite it all, he still finds a way to be an ass, another sharp laugh clawing its way out of his throat. "You're serious? That's all it takes?" He steps forward, his indifference betrayed by his breathing, fast and raggedy. "What, been waiting for an opportunity to finally be rid of me, you whore?"
You turn to face him, your hands going still as you lock eyes with him, eyes burning.
"You don't mean that." Your voice comes out so, so small.
Nam-gyu's breath stutters, disarmed by the way you're looking at him.
You see his face rewind before you, and for a second, he's the boy you met back in university. Vulnerable, unsure, timid, scared—and you saw it. A flicker of panic and regret across his face, knowing he'd pushed it the slightest bit too far. Knowing you were at the edge. It was up to him to pull you back.
And for a second, you really believe it. That he will.
But then—
Ego.
His pride.
His biggest fucking downfall.
"Nah," he scoffs, looking away as he feigns indifference. "I meant every word."
Your stomach twists. You grab your bag and pull yourself to your feet. You won't cry. Not here. Not in front of him.
He turns around, leaning against the doorframe and forcing you to watch his back while his face goes slack, teeth grit behind his lips as he holds his breath. "So. Are you leaving, or not?"
You push past him, bag in hand as you make your way to the door. He follows you, watching as you pull on your coat. He doesn't reach for you, doesn't stop you. His expression doesn't change, but the way his throat bobs—the way his hands shake despite his best efforts to hide them in his pockets—it tells you everything.
And this time, you don't have it in you to read between the lines, to decipher the stupid act he's putting up. All because he can't be an adult and say what he really means.
You grab your bag from the floor, a ding popping up on your phone: a text from your friend saying that she was outside.
Your hand is resting on the door knob, twisting, when his voice comes out—low, cracking.
"You're really gonna do this?"
You don't look at him. Just push through and slam the door shut.
He doesn't follow.
And just like that, Nam-gyu was alone. He lets out a shaky breath that he forgot he was holding, gripping at his sides like it would keep him from falling apart.
Suddenly, despite your absence, everything is much too loud. Louder than before. The hum of the refrigerator. The buzz of the wiring in the walls. The padding of his footsteps against the hardwood as he threw himself onto the couch, his legs suddenly too shaky for him to stand.
"Whatever," he says to the oppressive silence. "She'll be back." His voice cracks, unsure. Like he doesn't even believe the words as he's saying them.
Tension crawls up his back, settling into his limbs like a concrete block. He sits there for longer than he should've, an invisible weight pushing down on his shoulders. He won't say it, but he's waiting for you.
You don't come back that night.
The next day passes by him in a blur, thick with alcohol and chemicals. He's in the bedroom, his phone on the floor next to him. He pushes his palms against his temples, quick gasps burning his lungs.
His fingers twitch, exhausted with the effort of keeping still, but he won't do it. He won't text you. Won't call you. He won't let himself. His heart pounds craters into his chest as he sucks in a deep, labored breath.
His own words from the day before echo in his head. He'd wanted to push you, break you down, make you feel as small as he did. And it worked.
And now?
Now you were gone.
It was fine. It was fine. He pulls himself to his feet, something icy creeping up his spine. Nothing some weed couldn't fix.
As he stumbles to his feet, he catches himself wishing that he'd been scheduled for work today. Something to distract him. The thought makes him laugh, hollow and flat.
His hands shake as he struggles with his lighter, trying and failing to get a flame. He curses, arms dropping to his sides as he leans against the couch. Fuck this.
He slides down the couch until he's spilling onto the floor in a heap. There's something hot and wet pushing behind his eyes now, betraying him as it finally falls. He swipes at his face, biting back the frail noises threatening to spill from his throat. He doesn't want to hear it. His hands make fists in the material of his shirt, and he hardens his jaw, forcing himself to breathe slowly as his mind short circuits.
It was fine.
You'd be back tonight. He was sure of it. He tries the lighter again, and this time, it catches.
You crash at your friend's place. She doesn't ask questions, and you don't offer answers. It wasn't like this was the first time you fled to her house after a fight with Nam-gyu had gone sour. Your friend's guest room was practically yours, at this point.
The bed is comfortable, warm, but it does nothing to calm the threads of anxiety twitching through your limbs. You grab your phone, checking for the fifth time to make sure that it wasn't on silent.
It wasn't, and as you thought, there was nothing new. No text, no call. You let out a puff of air and continue to pretend like you don't care.
A few moments later, you turn over, fumbling for another pillow in the darkness. You hold your breath, lip trembling as you squeeze it tight, biting back your tears. He didn't deserve it. To make you cry.
"Fucking asshole."
Unfortunately for you, he was right.
The next day, you do your best to stay away. Enjoy your friend's company. Calm the images of Nam-gyu's limp body flickering through your mind like a cruel recording on loop.
Then— "I'm sorry," you say, ducking your head at your friend. She pauses the movie the two of you are watching, and she doesn't startle, as if she already knows what you're going to say next. "Could you drive me home?" Your voice is sheepish, embarrassed, as you keep your eyes on the floor.
You can almost hear Nam-gyu's voice. 'How typical. Knew you'd come crawling back.'
Your friend just nods, keeping her thoughts on the matter to yourself. For that, you're thankful.
Soon, you're rounding the corner, fumbling with your keys before finally pushing past the door, betraying yourself yet again.
And he was there, right where you left him.
He’s half-slouched on the ground, his back against the couch as he stares up at the ceiling. He'd shoved the coffee table out of the way to make room for himself. His limbs are outstretched on the floor, loose and lazy. Like a cat, you think. It would've been cute, had it been under different circumstances.
A joint burns low between his pointer finger and thumb, dangling dangerously close to the rug at the foot of the couch. He brings it to his lips and takes a long drag. A stray piece of ash falls from the end and burns black into the plush fabric. A permanent stain. A reminder.
The room reeks of weed, a cloud of smoke floating lazily around the ceiling in a slow-motion circuit. The smell curls in your lungs like the argument still lingering between you. You don’t even care.
He didn't look at you when the door opened. Not when the door shut. Not when you cover your nose and mouth with your sleeve, quickly throwing the window open and ushering the hazy cloud outside as if it had the agency to listen.
He doesn’t blink when you come to a stop at his feet, your shadow falling over him like a blanket. He continues to stare up at the water stained ceiling, regarding it with a calm indifference, like a painting he couldn’t understand.
Your eyes rake over him, taking in every inch of his sorry state. He’s in the same clothes you last saw him in, shirt wrinkled and pants twisted low on his hips. His hair stuck out oddly like he’d just woken up from a nap. His eyes are red and swollen, but you know it’s not just from the weed. He barely acknowleges you, save for a lazy flick of his eyes.
You kneel next to him and and press a palm to the warmth of his chest. His face is blank, even, his mouth pressed into a thin line, but his heartbeat betrays him, hammering beneath your fingers like it was trying to get out. A bird making panicked circles on the floor of an open cage.
He lets out a quiet laugh, but it’s weak and tired, bordering on something desperate.
"You stink," you mutter.
Nam-gyu lets out a humorless snort. "Then leave." But he doesn't mean it, not really. His heart quickens beneath your fingers, no doubt scared that you actually might.
But you don't. Instead, you pluck the joint from his fingers and stub it out in the ashtray on the coffee table.
He blows smoke into your face. You don’t blink.
Your fist closes around the fabric of his shirt just above his heart, the soft cotton spilling out between the gaps of your fingers as you clamber on top of him.
He doesn’t react. Doesn’t meet your eyes. You lean down, tilting your head forward so that your foreheads touch. Your hair falls from behind your shoulders, draping over the two of you in a gentle curtain.
The smell of weed is thick as you press a kiss to his cheek. Your free hand comes up to cup his face, thumb tracing his bottom lip softly before straying to the nape of his neck. His lips part weakly, as if he's going to say something snarky, something mean, to remind you of the other day.
Your breath is hot against the shell of his ear as you speak, voice barely above a whisper, “Just... Shut up, okay?” You press another kiss to the top of his forehead, pleading. Soon, your face finds its home in the crook of his neck. You breathe him in, the smell of his skin grounding you, still managing to reach you through the haze of smoke and chemicals. "Please."
And for the first time in a while, he listens.
Nam-gyu says nothing. Not when your fingers comb through his mess of hair. Not when you're tugging his limp body up, up, pushing him—stumbling and dazed—into the shower. Not when you're peeling off his clothes and yours, switching on the faucet and rubbing circles of soap onto the gentle slope of his back as the shower fills with steam.
He won't tell you how much he appreciates it. He won't tell you a lot of things.
He's quiet as he pulls on his pajamas and sinks into the bed like a stone. Relief washes through him as the bed shifts beneath your added weight. His shoulders ease up for the first time since you'd left, though he won't tell you that, either.
The next morning passes like any other. There is no sorry. No kisses pressed to your neck or hands looped around your waist. You weren't expecting it, anyways. You don't dwell on it. Not like you had the time, to. Instead, you roll out of bed, shake the sleep from your body, pull your work clothes on, and start your day.
Later that day, when your key clicks in the lock and your legs cross the threshold, the apartment smells different.
Not weed, not chemicals, not the lingering smell of smoke.
Your eyes trail across the apartment, taking note of everything. The counters are wiped down, the floors swept. Even the clutter that usually lingered around—his clothes, empty bottles, dirty dishes—gone.
You raise your eyebrows as you hang the jacket by the door.
You lean against the counter, unable to keep the look of pure surprise off of your face as you watch his back. Nam-gyu is cooking, a novelty from when you two first got together. Before he'd sunk deeper into his drug habit.
"What's this?"
He doesn't look at you. "Food."
"Wow," you press, testing. He looks at you over his shoulder before turning back to the pot on the stove. "You? Cooking?" You lean in closer, trying to catch his eyes. "Am I dreaming right now?"
He shrugs, stirring the pot. "You always bitch about me eating. So I'm eating."
You purse your lips, deciding not to comment on his wording.
You can't remember the last time he'd cooked. It was always you. Or takeout. Or you reminding him to eat, that drugs and alcohol weren't enough to make up a healthy diet.
He flicks the stove off and grabs a plate from the cabinet, wordlessly spooning a scoop of freshly cooked rice onto the plate, still steaming. He shoves it into your hands before grabbing another plate for himself. He moves out of the way, gesturing at the pot like it'd inconvenienced him.
"It's still hot," he says blankly. His voice is tight, clipped, but you know it's just his way of masking his nerves. Tiptoeing around you like one wrong word might send you flying out the door again. "Now shut up and eat."
The food was delicous.
It tasted like nostalgia, bringing you back to the early days where he'd always cook for you, butterflies blooming in your stomach as your legs bumped against each other under the table, flirting under the warm kitchen light.
Back when his job was just a job. A 'for now'. Before it tangled and spiraled with his being, melting into him until you weren't sure where it ended and he began, the fuel for his fire, stoking his addictions and anger and insecurities until it grew big and ugly and distorted.
The thought made your chest tighten a bit, so you push it out of your mind, hands readjusting in your lap as you refocus on the movie playing in front of you.
The two of you sit on the couch, the glow of the TV flickering dimly across the walls.
Nam-gyu is beside you, sprawled as usual, his legs spread wide and taking up an offensive amount of space. His fingers drum absentmindedly against his knee, his other hand fidgeting with his ring. He hasn't reached for you all night, but every now and then, you feel his eyes flick toward you.
Like he was waiting.
And then, without a word, he pushes something into your lap.
You startle a bit at the sudden movement. You look down, and your mouth falls open.
A plushie. It's a chubby, white bunny. Soft and cute.
You wonder when he went to the store. You picture him walking up and down the aisles, scanning the shelves and chewing his lip nervously as he decides what to get you. You imagine him checking out, slamming the plushie down on the counter before roughly tapping his card.
Then, you notice the small, black box sitting on its tummy. You almost didn't notice it, blinking down at it in shock.
You pick it up, face incredulous as you turn to him.
"You bought me something?" you say, breathless, as you turn it over in your hands.
He doesn't answer, just keeps his eyes trained on the screen. His leg bounces restlessly, both hands fidgeting with their respective rings.
You sigh, and it's soft, so soft, as something wells up in your chest. "Nam-gyuuu..." you start, leaning towards him.
"Just shut up and take it," he grumbles, still refusing to look at you. "Or don't. I don't care."
You stare at him for a long moment. His ears are pink, just barely hidden behind his long, black hair.
You decide to give him a break and open the box. Inside is a silver chain, dainty, shiny, and exactly your style. It's also real. You lift it out with a gasp.
Nam-gyu doesn't turn his head, but his eyes flick to you for a moment, taking in your reaction. Something in him unclenches.
The pendant hanging off of it is small, but it's beautiful, sturdy. You let it fall against your palm, the silver catching the dim light from the television as you inspect it. It's a star.
You pout, eyes going wide and glossy as you turn to look at him. He exhales sharply. Then, you notice something else in the box, a baggie tucked away in the corner of the velvet lining. You hold it up to the light, trying to see what it is.
It's another star, just as dainty as yours, except somehow smaller.
"Is this an extra one in case I lose mine?" you ask, genuinely curious.
The moment he sees what you're holding, his whole body tenses. His knee stops bouncing, and his fingers freeze. Then, without hesitation, he snatches the bag from your grasp.
"Nothing," he mutters, shoving it deep in his pocket.
You blink. "Did you—" your voice trails off, realization dawning on you. Your heartbeat picks up. "You bought a matching charm?"
Nam-gyu glares at the TV like it'd personally offended him. "Oh my god. I said it's nothing."
You stare at him stunned. He was never the type to do this—sweet, thoughtful things. No, that was too corny for him. And yet he had. He'd gotten two of the same pendant. One for you, and one for himself.
Maybe to add to his own chain. Maybe to turn into a charm for his keyring.
Either way, it meant something. And you knew it.
"Nam-gyuuu," you press, all discretion gone as you cuddled up to his side. You watch his jaw clench as you rub his side, all smiley and starry-eyed. "You wanted us to match?"
"Okay. Shut up." He's tensing up, leaning away from you as he leans into the armrest, but you know for sure that it's all an act now. The plushie at your side and the necklace gleaming on the coffee table was enough proof of that.
But you can't. You can't stop staring at him, at the way his fingers dig into his knee like he's resisting the urge to snatch the whole damn box back from you. He's sulking like a kid caught red-handed.
Your grin widens, head going loopy with love. "Ohhh my goodness," you say, voice dripping with amusement, "you're so cute, Nam-gyu."
His head snaps toward you, eyes narrowing as he finally makes eye contact with you, but there's a color to his face that wasn't there earlier. "Don't start."
But you do start. You lean in, resting your chin on his shoulder, batting your eyelashes at him. "You wanted us to have matching charms? So that even when we're apart, we'll always have a little piece of each other?"
Nam-gyu gorans, tipping his head back against the couch. "Shut the fuck up." But there's no venom in it, not even a drop. Something tells you he might even be enjoying this, in his own way.
"It's like a promise, isn't it?" You sigh dreamily, pushing through the excitement in your chest, but also because you can't help but relish the way he squirms under the attention. "A silent vow that no matter where we go, we'll always be connected. Like two stars floating through space, spinning in a galactic embrace of eternal love—"
"I'm gonna kill myself," he mutters, rubbing his temples. The movie drones on in the background, completely ignored.
You laugh, finally letting up as you nudge him with your shoulder. "You're so romantic," you coo. "Who knew you had such a soft heart under that shitty attitude of yours?"
"I will throw you out that fucking window," he threatens, but it's weak. His ears are red, so red, and he won't meet your gaze.
You let the moment linger, then tilt your head, lowering your voice to something softer. "Thank you," you say, genuine this time. "I love it."
Nam-gyu scoffs, but his knee starts bouncing again. "Yeah, yeah. Whatever."
But later that night, when you finally slip the necklace on, the bunny plushie sitting gingerly in your lap, you catch him staring.
When you lay down next to Nam-gyu, there's something between you two. Something charged, electric. You don't say anything, but you know it's coming.
When his hand drifts over to you, lingers on your waist, you let it.
Then he's on top of you. His weight presses you into the bed, and you stare back up at him. His touch is soft, gentle, as he brushes the hair away from your face, from your neck. The necklace he bought you is cool against your skin. He stares at it again, touching it gingerly and turning it over in his fingers.
Your breath catches, and then he's leaning down, pressing a kiss to your lips. It's gentle, soft.
It's not like him at all.
That night, it's like a race. Except there’s only one pedestal, and it's a spot reserved just for you. So he's grunting, biting down on his lip as he presses his fingers into the dip of your waist, pushing you closer and closer to the finish line. There’s a ghost of his breath on your neck, a graze of teeth at your collar bone, something sickeningly sweet in your ears— something you likely wouldn't be hearing tomorrow.
Then, you reach the edge, and he’s staring in your eyes, gripping your chin so you can’t look away. He dips low and smashes his lips onto yours. The ribbon snaps, and you tip over, breath being ripped from your lungs as you gasp, sighing his name like it's a prayer.
It's been a couple minutes since he'd rolled over, your skin still slick with sweat as you continue to catch your breath, heart drumming steadily beneath your skin.
His hand is heavy on your waist, his breathing steady. He was practically half-asleep already once he'd finished.
"Fine," you breathe into the silence, eyelids growing heavy as you swallow. You push your hair out of your face and roll over to cuddle into his side. Defeat. "I forgive you."
Nam-gyu, even in his exhausted state, smirks weakly in the dark. He slowly turns to press his face into you, rubbing slow, possessive circles into your skin.
He feigns ignorance as he smiles against your hair, because accepting your forgiveness would be an admission of guilt, and he couldn't— wouldn't do that.
"For what?"
© to @namgyunation on tumblr; do not repost
ao3 link, if you'd prefer to read it over there
a/n: omggg i had so much fun writing this! obviously, a lot of this is my interpretation / speculation of how he'd act 'normally', so when he's not crazy hopped up on drugs and locked up in a life or death situation, but hopefully it's somewhat believable. i'm like rushing to get all my writing out before season 3 potentially crushes all my hopes and dreams and imagination and/or my motivation leaaves me haha. although school's still been kicking my ass, as always please feel free to send me any thoughts / suggestions in my inbox <3 i'm in this shit for the long haul, y'all.
#nam gyu x reader#namgyu x reader#nam-gyu x reader#player 124 x reader#squid game#divider c: strangergraphics#lilyposting#my fic#nam gyu#namgyu#nam-gyu#player 124
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mouth cockwarming hcs
Idk I had an idea lol but I couldn’t figure out which character to use so I just decided to do this instead
Bucky Barnes
Dick Grayson, Jason Todd
Spencer Reid
Cillian Murphy, Emmett, Jackson Rippner, Jonathan Crane, Lenny Miller, Neil Lewis, Raymond Leon, Robert Fischer, Tommy Shelby
(Warnings: daddy kink for a few of them (no incest), a little bit of age play ig?, ionno lol)
Bucky Barnes - He’s no virgin, obviously, but cockwarming in your mouth? That was definitely a new one. It’s not his favorite, but he likes seeing you so relaxed and calm. It reminds him that he’s capable of being gentle with someone so delicate. Plus it’s not too hard— he’s had decades to practice restraint, so he can handle sitting still under you while you nap with his cock in your mouth.
Dick Grayson - Honestly, he gets it— he has an oral fixation too lol, but he usually eats pussy instead. Dick prides himself on being a gentleman though so he’s had plenty of practice putting up with a boner for the sake of not ruining an innocent moment with a girl… Usually he just reads a book or watches a movie to try and not focus on the fact that his cock is literally in your mouth.
Jason Todd - He thinks it’s cute. You’re already so tiny compared to him, but when you use his dick as a pacifier? You just look so fucking adorable. If you’re ever in a situation where you can’t cockwarm him with your mouth, usually you’ll settle for suckling his fingers or his thumb— but you don’t like it as much because the calluses on his hands are too rough compared to his smooth, (sometimes) squishy cock.
Spencer Reid - He gets a little antsy to be honest, but if he has a book or some paperwork to go over, he can usually sit still long enough for you to get your fill. He knows exactly why people find comfort in this sort of thing, and he knows exactly why you specifically find comfort in it. So he doesn’t judge or think it’s weird. He likes being the one that you go to for this comfort.
Cillian Murphy - He finds it a little odd, but as long as you’re happy, he’s happy. Plus he likes how paternal and protective he feels when you’re laying on his stomach suckling on the head of his cock while he pets your hair. It’s usually enough to get you to fall asleep too. He thinks it’s cute hearing your soft snores as you droll a little bit around his cock.
Emmett - Makes his daddy kink go wild tbh. His little girl using his dick as a pacifier? Yeah. Half the time, he can control himself. But sometimes (usually after at least 20 minutes so you can have enough time to enjoy yourself) he’ll gently push on your head, urging you to start sucking more. You whine, but end up doing it anyway just to please him.
Jackson Rippner - Doesn’t like it at all. If you do it right after he fucks your face and shoots his load down your throat then he can usually put up with it for a little bit. But other than that, he doesn’t have the patience for it. Sometimes when you’re napping and he sees you sucking on your thumb instead, he feels a tiny bit of guilt very, very deep down... But not enough to get him to change his mind lol.
Jonathan Crane - He thinks it’s weird as fuck. Honestly he wants to delve deeper into whatever thing from your childhood gave you an oral fixation, but he resists (for now at least). He’s usually pretty good about not turning it sexual, unless he’s particularly frustrated or stressed from work or his… extracurricular activities.
Lenny Miller - He doesn’t really mind. Honestly, he finds it a little relaxing too. He likes coming home after a long, stressful day at work and just laying with his little girl, petting your hair while his dick rests in your mouth, feeling you suckle on the tip while you hug him tightly until you both fall asleep.
Neil Lewis - He’ll try it because you want it so badly, but after less than ten minutes of his cock resting in your mouth, he’s already hard and leaking. He ends up whining and squirming, trying to get you to suck his cock properly until you eventually just give in and blow him. If you do it right after an orgasm, he can usually last longer, but if not, you have ten minutes tops before he gets too needy.
Raymond Leon - He feels the same was about this as he does about most ‘relaxing’ things: it’s a waste of time. So he often tries to work while you’re falling asleep. You’ll lay between his legs with your head resting on his hip, his cock sitting in your mouth, and he only complains if he doesn’t have enough space to use his laptop/tablet.
Robert Fischer - He understands… When he’s feeling subby, he’ll sometimes do that on your nipple. So even when he’s getting hard, he’ll try to ignore it and let you enjoy this for as long as he can handle it. He just reminds himself over and over again that you always let him nurse on your tits for however long he wants, so you deserve to nurse on his cock every once in a while too.
Tommy Shelby - He’s a master of self control honestly so he doesn’t mind it. Sometimes you’ll both lay down for a nap and you’ll suck on the head of his cock until you fall asleep, sometimes he sits up in bed and reads or does some work. Either way, he doesn’t really mind it. Plus you always seem extra inclined to reward him for his patience when you wake up from a nap with it still in your mouth.
#bucky barnes smut#bucky barnes#dick grayson#dick grayson smut#jason todd smut#jason todd#spencer reid#spencer reid smut#cillian murphy smut#cillian murphy#emmett a quiet place#emmett smut#jackson rippner smut#jackson rippner#jonathan crane#jonathan crane smut#lenny miller smut#lenny miller#neil lewis smut#neil lewis#raymond leon smut#raymond leon#robert fischer smut#robert fischer#tommy shelby smut#tommy shelby#thomas shelby smut#thomas shelby#headcanons#hcs
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Morning Sickness
Pairing: Quinn Hughes x Fem!Reader
Warnings: Mentions of sex in the past, pregnancy, etc.
Summary: Quinn is getting increasingly worried about you as you're sick every morning and every evening, you're adamant that you're fine. Turns out you're right in a way.
Notes: Thanks to the person who sent this idea in :)
Totally happy to take requests/ideas/prompts at the moment in my ask box :)
Writing Masterlist
It starts around a month after your honeymoon. Every single morning Quinn wakes to the sound of you throwing up and every single night he holds your hair back as you're sick over the toilet.
You pass it off as a bad stomach bug or anxiety, something different every time but Quinn doesn't believe you nor does he like what's happening. He's had many health scares with you; the chest infection that led to you being hospitalised after you nearly passed out at work being a prime example. As a result, he knows better than to assume that when you say you're fine, you're actually fine. Instead he sits with a heavy buzz of anxiety in his chest, a fear that something is seriously wrong but not knowing what and not knowing how best to convince you to get a check up and see the doctor about it. You’re stubborn to a fault.
It's another one of those evenings where he's happily curled around in bed, blankets tucked in around both of you. You're in his arms, back to his chest, legs twisted together so that any movement jars the other, but you're so used to it at this point that sleeping apart is more difficult and less restful than navigating the tangled mass of limbs that the two of you become each night.
When you try to slip out of his arms he's awake like a shot, blinking through bleary eyes while you push his arms off you so that you can get up. Quinn lets you go, an instant release but he's quick to follow, footsteps padding on the carpet after you towards the bright light of the bathroom. Never once considering rolling over and going back to sleep.
"You okay, baby?" You're leaning over the sink, taking deep breaths, cheeks puffing out as you try your very best to not be sick again, nausea roiling through you. You’re so fed up of being sick, it’s become a routine that’s led to you being careful about what foods you eat in the morning and evening, learning what is the worst to throw up and what’s the least offensive thing to throw up.
All you can do is shake your head frantically before you're rushing to the toilet, knees hitting the floor with a loud thud as you lean over the toilet bowl to be sick. Quinn winces at the sound of your knees impacting tile and he's beside you in an instant, hands reaching for your hair to pull it back and out of your face so you don't have to worry about throwing up in your own hair.
"Oh, baby...just let it out..." A warm, free hand landing on your back, rubbing soothing circles as he feels the way your body jerks with each bout of sickness, your muscles contracting and relaxing each time.
You’re crying, he can hear it, the way you whimper and whine because this is the worst and you’re fed up with being so violently sick…It only increases his worry because this has been going on for too long and it just doesn’t seem to be getting any better.
He stays beside you, holding your hair and rubbing your back until you’re no longer vomiting. When you stop, cheek resting against the toilet seat in exhaustion he’s up and reaching for a glass to fill with water for you.
“Here, baby, have some water…” You take a mouthful only to spit it out in the toilet in an attempt to get the taste of vomit from your mouth, before downing the whole glass. It doesn’t really help much.
“I hate this…” You groan out, feeling silly because it’s not even like you feel ill most of the time, you just keep getting these random bouts of sickness in the mornings and evenings. Quinn shouldn’t be as worried as you know he is…it’s probably all in your head, maybe you’ve created a Pavolvian response to the morning and night time where your body expects to be sick, so you are?
“I know, baby…” Quinn runs a hand over your hair, pushing a few strands out of your face and behind your ear, he’s gentle about it, long fingers gingerly caressing your skin like he’s worried you’ll break, “You need to visit a doctor, baby.”
“It’s probably nothing, Quinn…I’ve just eaten something or have some sort of bug or something…” You don’t want to go to the doctors, you’re certain this will blow over soon, that it’s nothing serious and you hate the idea of taking more time off for it even as your husband looks at you like you might be the most stubborn human being on earth.
“For weeks?”
“Quinn…” You sigh out his name because you don’t want to argue, because you’re tired. All you want is to go back to bed, curl up in his arms and get what little sleep you can before you have to go to work in the morning.
He must see how tired you are because whatever fight he had seems to leave his body, shoulders slumping, head nodding to himself like he’s made a decision in his mind to put this down for the moment even if he wants to keep going, repeat himself until you give in.
“Okay…okay, let’s get you to bed at least…” He gives up arguing because you’re so tired and have to be up at 6am for work. It’s bad enough you're not feeling well, let alone that you have to still teach like this, adding exhaustion to the mix is just a bad idea. He’ll keep pushing until you go to the doctors, but right now? Right now he can see you're tired and sleep is probably better for you than arguing at 1am.
Quinn helps you to your feet, your hands resting in his much larger ones while he pulls you up. He keeps both hands on your hips the whole time as the two of you waddle your way back to bed, there’s part of him that worries you might fall or faint on the way back to bed, hands firmly gripping you just in case.
He curls around you once you're both back under the covers, almost protective like he’s trying to shield you from some unseen threat and you nestle back into him, resting your head on the arm underneath you.
The early morning throw up session had you completely wiped hours later, it really shouldn’t have been a surprise that you felt dizzy as the day went on. Even more so because food was just not enticing you and you had skipped lunch when your sandwich made you feel queasy just looking at it. Each lesson felt harder and harder to teach and your last lesson of the day had your head reeling. It really shouldn’t have come as a surprise with how dizzy you felt, how lightheaded you were, that you fainted completely in front of your students. Thankfully, you had felt it coming on, having lowered yourself to the ground mere seconds before it happened.
To give them their dues, your students who could have used that as an opportunity to cause a mess, do whatever they wanted and generally cause chaos, actually tried to help. They were so concerned for you that they got another member of staff to come help, David, your favourite trouble making hockey fan, put his rolled up Canucks hoodie underneath your head and Stacy checked you were still breathing. The fainting spell didn’t last long, within a minute or so you were back to consciousness and trying to sit up, staff and students trying to force you to lay back down.
It’s Laura, the English teacher next door, who grabs your phone and calls your emergency contact, Quinn…even as you protest and tell her not to bother him, that you’re fine. All your protests go ignored by the forty year old, who had become something of a mentor and parental figure during your time at the school.
“Hi Quinn, sorry, it’s Laura from Y/N’s school?” You can’t quite tell what Quinn says on the other line, but you’re sure it’s along the lines of ‘what’s wrong?’ in a panicked tone because no one ever used your phone. You hate worrying him, he has so much on his shoulders already, so much weight there from the team, the season, his brothers…
“She’s fainted, do you think you could come get her? It’s the end of the school day anyway but I don’t think she should be driving home…thanks, Quinn.”
You groan at her, tempted to tell her off for calling him against your wishes but you know she means well…you also know there’s absolutely no chance you’re getting away with avoiding the doctors now. In fact you wouldn’t be surprised if he drove you straight to the doctor's office after coming to get you…still, maybe you should see a doctor, what with throwing up all the time…and now fainting?
Laura won’t even let you get up from your spot on the floor, packing your things away for you, getting your students to chill for the last 10 minutes of the day and waiting until Quinn arrives. You know she’s worried you’ll faint again, but it feels ridiculous, sitting on a cold, dirty classroom floor waiting for your husband to come get you.
“Hey, baby…” The way he stands in the doorway to your classroom when he finally arrives makes you want to cry. It’s like he’s scared you’re going to faint again, a sense of hesitancy and caution in his body language that you hate because Quinn is never like that around you.
“Please don’t…don’t be scared of me, right now…” You feel like crying, wetness starting to fill your eyes and your voice coming out choked. You’re not even sure why you’re so emotional about him looking like that when Quinn’s always worried about you, it’s not a new development. He cares so he worries.
“Hey, hey, I’m not scared of you…I’m worried, baby.” He’s crossing the space between you as quickly as possible, crouching down next to you with care, hands reaching for your face gently to rub his fingers across your cheeks to try and calm you down.
“I’m sorry…I don’t mean to be a bother…” Your eyes are so watery that Quinn’s face is a blurry mess, but even then you wouldn’t be able to mistake the serious set of his brow, the way his jaw clenches, how he always takes your concerns and worries seriously.
“Sweet girl, hey…you’re not a bother. You’re never a chore, okay? But I'm going to need you to accept that we need to go to the doctor's now, okay? I’ve already phoned them, they can see us in forty minutes.” You can’t really deny him, he’s been so patient with you, worried, but not pushing you to go to the doctors too much and you know he’s right…something’s not normal right now and you need to get checked out.
“Okay…” The smile he gives you is radiant, relief filled and bright like your answer is enough to make his day. It makes it worth it.
“Atta girl, right, let’s get you up off this floor, okay?”
You nod at him, reaching for his outstretched hands and letting him grip yours tightly, your wedding rings gleaming and new under the fluorescence of the classroom lights. As Quinn stands he pulls you with him, helping you to your feet and holding you steady when you get a bit of a headrush from the sudden upright position.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, i’m good,” He doesn’t quite look like he believes you, “I promise, i’ll let you know if i’m not.”
He’s got an eye on you the entire way to his car, always watching in case you suddenly faint or trip or take a dive to the ground. You don’t, your dizzy spell has passed and now you just feel emotional and embarrassed about the whole thing.
As is routine by now Quinn opens the car door for you and buckles your seatbelt, making sure it rests comfortably against you and isn’t digging into you at all. He goes a step further than normal though, reaching into the backseat to grab a blanket he keeps there for when you get cold, laying it over your lap and tucking it under your thighs like he’s worried you’ll get cold on the drive to the doctors.
Quinn leans forward into the car, pressing a kiss to your forehead gently causing you to close your eyes, letting out a happy sigh. He lingers slightly, hand smoothing down some of your fly away hairs before he shuts the passenger side door and gets into the driver's seat.
There’s a heavy silence that settles over the two of you while Quinn starts the drive to the doctor’s office. It’s a silence that screams that Quinn has things he wants to say, words he’s holding inside him right now and you wait patiently for him to break.
It doesn’t take long, a few minutes pass before he’s watching you from the corner of his eye, “You need to start trusting me to handle knowing when something is wrong…” He sighs out at you, and you try not to cut him off, biting on your lip to force yourself to listen until he’s said what he needs to say. “I know you’re scared of being a burden and putting more stress on me, but, baby…I’m your husband. I need to know. I want to know. My job is to support you. I can’t do that if you’re not letting me in…” He reaches a hand across to squeeze your leg, an attempt to reassure you that he’s not mad, but that he wants you to trust him more and you get it…you do. You’ve been so reluctant to put any more stress on him, but here’s Quinn demanding that you do, telling you he wants to know when things aren’t quite right.
“I just…you have all this pressure on you and I don’t want to add to that.”
“Baby, the only stress you’re giving me is when you don’t let me help you…I need you to promise me you’re going to start relying on me more, please?” He can’t take it anymore. The way you try to hide how you’re doing, try to take all that onto yourself so that he doesn't get any of the pressure. You’re the only pressure he wants, fuck hockey, fuck the season, but he needs to know what’s wrong with you so he can fix it, so he can help you.
You reach for his hand on your leg, twisting your fingers in his and holding his hand tight, watching him glance at you out of the corner of his eye, focusing on the road for the most part.
“I promise.”
Quinn’s shoulders drop in relief, his need to support and protect you, to look after you already feeling better now that you’ve promised you’ll actually communicate with him properly. He loves you, but your fear of being a burden is his least favourite thing about you. He hates that people have made you feel like you have to minimise yourself, your problems. Hates that you’ve been trained to be so hyper independent and self reliant.
“Have you taken a pregnancy test?”
You blink at the doctor like she’s insane because the thought hadn’t even crossed your mind that that was a possibility, that maybe you were pregnant.
“Uh, no…”
“Have you been using protection? Is it possible you’re pregnant?” You try to think back to your last period, late, try to think back to the last time Quinn and yourself had unprotected sex…your honeymoon. So over the moon, so giddy the two of you hadn’t really thought about it, forgoing the usual precautions because you were married now so it didn’t seem like such a big deal.
You look at Quinn, the two of you sharing a look that says you’re both thinking back to your honeymoon, the two weeks of being absolutely feral for each other that you really didn’t think much about the consequences…well, you did, in a sense. Quinn had had a great time considering what you’d look like pregnant with his child, dirty talk filled with comments about getting you pregnant, but it had all been fantasies, silly in the moment dirty talk, neither of you had really considered (rather stupidly perhaps) that it might become a reality. You hadn’t thought…normally it wasn’t that easy for people and you’d always had concerns about fertility in your family in the past so why would it be that easy for you?
“It’s…it’s possible.”
“Okay, I want you to go take this test and come back when you’re done. I think you might just be experiencing some really bad first trimester morning sickness.” You take the test offered to you, the little pee cup and pipette too, glad that she wasn’t expecting you to pee directly onto the stick…
“Do you want me to wait outside the door?” Quinn asks as you hesitantly get up, not really wanting to go alone, as silly as it was because all you were about to do was pee into a little cup and put some drops onto a pregnancy test, it wasn’t like you were going to do anything crazy. But, you’d never had to take a pregnancy test before, you’d never had to deal with the reality that you might be pregnant and even if it's with your literal husband it’s still kind of scary...
“Yes, please…” He’s reaching for your hand without any hesitation, guiding you out of the examination room and towards the toilets.
You hesitate before entering, scared to find out the answer, unsure which you want to be true; that you’re pregnant or that there’s something else causing you to be sick and faint. You want kids, both of you have discussed it time and time again, but you always thought it would be planned, that the two of you would be actively trying when you got pregnant.
“It’ll be okay, y’know? No matter what. If you’re not pregnant we’ll figure out what’s wrong and if you are? That’s a good thing, we wanted kids, baby.” Quinn can see you’re scared, the way you grip the test tighter, how you seem to stop breathing as you stare at the bathroom door. He’s trying to not get his hopes up, to temper some of the excitement he can feel because he really…fuck, he really hopes you’re pregnant, he’s so ready to be a dad, and it would be an added bonus to know you weren’t seriously ill, just dealing with the first trimester.
“Yeah, just…wasn’t expecting it to potentially be this soon.”
“I know, baby, but it’ll be okay and mom’ll be over the moon.” You smile at the mention of Ellen, how excited she’ll be…heck Jack and Luke would be ecstatic to be uncles, suddenly things didn’t seem quite so scary when you considered the people around you, how supportive they would be.
“Yeah, she’ll probably scream down the phone…” If you’re pregnant goes unsaid but it’s there, the reality that maybe you’re both starting to get your hopes up for something that isn’t going to happen.
“Okay…I can do this.”
“You’ve got this, baby…it’ll be okay,” He smiles at you one last time before you disappear into the bathroom.
Your hands shake the entire time you’re in there, completing the test and putting it on the side to wait. You pacing a hole into the floor, back and forth, back and forth as the time ticks down on your phone. In that time you start to get excited, nervous, but excited. The initial shock of potentially being pregnant disappearing in favour of thoughts about what it would be like to finally have your first child with Quinn…how he’d teach them to skate, how Luke and Jack would play with them at the lake house in the summer, how Ellen and Jim would be devoted grandparents, how you’d read them books every night and make your own Christmas traditions… Your nerves now centred on that possibility that you weren’t pregnant, that your hopes might be crushed.
You couldn’t bring yourself to look when the time was up, reaching for the door handle to Quinn pacing outside the door. His head shoots up the moment you open it.
“So?” Quinn looks so expectant, lips bitten and red from all his worrying, waiting for an answer.
“I…I can’t look, can you check it for me?”
“Uh, yeah, course, baby.” You can tell he’s nervous too, but he steps inside the bathroom, locking it behind the two of you for privacy. You point to where the little, but no less life altering, test rests by the sink.
You watch him walk over, watch the tension in his shoulders, how he looks at the little test, seems to read the marks, and then again, and again like he’s struggling to process it. You know the answer the moment his shoulders relax, the moment he turns to you with tears in his eyes and a wide smile, so wide across his face. He’s practically grinning, vibrant in the way he is after a won game or how he was at your wedding. The sort of vibrant that changes Quinn, his usually understated calmness wiped out in favour of pure unfiltered joy.
“We’re…we’re having a baby…” Saying it feels unreal at first, that those two little lines can mean so much, that right now, in your tummy is your baby. The perfect mix of the two of you slowly growing into someone amazing, someone he’s so excited to meet.
“Yeah?” You can feel your own excitement starting, hearing it is making it real, so fucking real.
“Yeah, baby!” You’re crying, he’s crying, it’s a mess when you come together in a hug, his arms wrapping tightly around you and lifting you off the floor to spin you around. You’re both crying into each other when his mouth slants over yours for a kiss, one of his hands cupping the back of your head, the other resting gently over your throat.
It’s a kiss that feels monumental, deep and filled with love, so much love that the taste of the salt from your tears does nothing to deter either of you as you cling to each other. The scratch of Quinn’s beard, the silky smoothness of his hair in your fingers, the way you cling to each other, you’ve not felt that happy since your wedding day, since you both finally said I do. It feels like the world has shifted on its axis in the most spectacular of ways and all that worry, all that fear is gone, just like that.
He’s so fucking relieved, that’s part of it. God, is he excited that you’re pregnant, that he’s going to be a dad, but part of the excitement is relief, that you’re okay, that you’re not seriously ill. You’re just pregnant, just dealing with morning sickness and all the changes associated with growing a baby.
When you pull apart neither of you go very far, foreheads pressed together, noses nuzzling against each other. His hands still cradle you close to him, his breath warm against your lips.
“We’re going to be parents…you’re going to be a mom…” There’s something about him saying it that makes it feel more real because it feels almost out of body of an experience, to find out you're pregnant when you had no plans to be.
“Yeah…you’re going to be a dad…”
“Fuck, I love you…” Quinn kisses you again, soft but lingering as a hand comes down to rest against your belly, no sign yet of the bundle of cells that’s growing into a baby, “and I love this little bean too,”
“I love you too, you’re going to be so great, they’re going to love you.”
“They’re going to love us.”
#teacher reader x quinn#huggy bear writes#quinn hughes x reader#quinn hughes/reader#nhl imagine#nhl x reader
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OT13 reaction to their s/o suggesting going raw for the first time
Request: May I request something a little spicy SVT reaction to their partner tell them they are on birth control now and suggested on using no condoms for the first time. (if they both agree) P.S You have such good writing!
A/N: I'm not sure if I did this justice, but my writing style shifts depending on my mood and the request. This time, it just felt right to make most of them take the lead—so here we are. And ofc, they’d be thrilled to finally experience this without any barriers, but y’all, be smart and stay safe, alright? NOT PROOFREAD!
Content: MDNI ! reader is on birth control, heavy implications, mild degradation & possessiveness, several members take on dominant/assertive roles, mature language, grip-tightening, caging, and restraint, raw/unprotected sex implication, loss of control themes. Lmk if I missed anything
Seungcheol: His eyes lock onto yours, filled with a mix of surprise and something primal. "Are you sure?" His voice is low, just above a whisper, almost a growl as he steps closer, his hand cupping your face, thumb brushing over your cheek. "You've got to know this means something,” he murmurs, his breath warm against your lips. There's an intensity in his stare is deeper than lust. His fingers trace the curve of your jaw before tilting your chin up, "We can take it slow, but I trust you." His lips press to your forehead, lingering for a moment, as if he's grounding himself of what's about to happen. His hands find your waist, his grip firm. "Tell me if you're ready,” he whispers, his voice laced with restraint, as if he's holding himself back. But you see it_the simmering desire in his eyes, the hunger behind his control.
Jeonghan: The moment you speak, Jeonghan's expression falters, his eyes darkening with a barely contained desire. His fingers reach up to trace along your jaw, slow, sending shivers through you. "Are you sure, angel?" he murmurs, yes he'll angel you in this moment his voice softer now, thoughtful, but there's an edge to it. "Because once we do this, there's no way we can go back to how things were, I'll love it." His lips brush against yours, feather-light at first, teasing. "I want you to be all in," he whispers, his breath hot against your skin, "to feel every sensation with me." Then, without warning, he closes the distance, capturing your lips fully, deeply, drawing a gasp from you. His hands skim down your sides, a slow, lazy exploration. But you can feel the tension in his body, the way he's holding himself back, waiting for you to pull him closer, to give in completely to him.
Joshua: Joshua steps toward you, his gentle eyes now filled with dark clouds, with lust, love and longing. His fingers brush against your cheek, his touch too soft for the way his smirk is beginning to form. "If you're sure..." his voice trails off, as if giving you one last chance to reconsider, but the glint in his eyes tells you he already knows your answer. Then, before you can react, he's pushing you back onto the bed, hovering over you in an instant, caging you in beneath him. His lips crash onto yours, slow but demanding, as his teeth graze your lower lip, a light bite before he deepens the kiss. His hands slide under your blouse, fingertips tracing over your skin exploring every little definition. "You feel so warm," he murmurs, his lips now trailing down your jaw, your neck. "I've been waiting for this." His voice is smooth, restrained but utterly consuming.
Jun: Jun's lips curl into a teasing smile, but there's a pretty undeniable sharpness in his gaze. "Is that what you want?" His voice is smooth, almost playful, but there’s a darkness underneath—to say the least, it’s possessive. You nod, barely breathing as he steps closer, your bodies now only inches apart. He watches you carefully, like a predator watching its prey. "Say it," he demands, his fingers gripping your waist. "I want to hear you say it" Once the words leave your lips, the atmosphere shifts. The teasing glint in his eyes fades into more serious. Then, in one swift move, he pushes you back against the wall, his hand tilting your chin up before his lips crash into yours. His kisses are intense, his other hand sliding down, unbuttoning your shirt one-handed with an ease that makes your breath hitch. "You make it too easy for me" he murmurs against your lips, before pressing another deep kiss to them, his grip tightening ever so slightly, just enough to make you shiver.
Hoshi: His grin shifts into something raw immediately. His fingers brush against your arm before trailing up to your collarbone, his touch feather-light but burning all the same. "You want that, huh?" His voice is teasing, but there's a weight behind it. His smirk grows as he watches you, waiting, savoring your reaction. You barely have time to respond before he's stepping forward, walking you back until the back of your legs hit the bed. "Sit," he instructs, voice low. You obey, heart hammering as he crawls onto the mattress, kneeling before you. He leans in, close enough that you can feel his breath on your lips but not quite kissing you yet. His hands slide over your thighs, slow, deliberate. Then, with a smirk, he says, "Take it off." When you hesitate slightly flustered cause of his so forward reaction, his fingers tilt your chin up. "Oh, come on," he coaxes. "Don't get shy on me now," he says as a low chuckle escapes him, his fingers trail down your arm. "I want to see you," his lips brushing against your ear, gaze never wavers, as he leans in just a little closer, his warmth pulling you in like gravity.
Wonwoo: His face remains impassive at first, but there's a shift in the air. His fingers graze your arm, soft yet searing. "If we do this, it's not just a step... it's a leap," he says, his voice a quiet storm. He leans in, lips hovering just over your skin, breath warm and intoxicating. "You sure you want to cross that line with me?" There's something about the way he says it—low, deliberate, a dare wrapped in restraint that makes you want him even more. His grip on your wrist tightens slightly, just enough to make you gasp. But then you nod. And suddenly, there's no hesitation. His mouth crashes onto yours, ferocity unraveling between you both in waves. He lifts you effortlessly, pressing you against the nearest surface as his lips trail down your neck, fingers tracing paths of fire along your skin. "You have no idea what you've just started," he whispers, voice thick with lust and danger. Your breath hitches as his grip tightens, anchoring you against him. His teeth graze your pulse point, a teasing scrape before his tongue soothes the sting, leaving a trail of heat in its wake. His hands roam lower, fingers pressing into your hips with just enough force to make you shiver. "You still have time to change your mind," he murmurs, though the way his body molds against yours tells a different story. His eyes lock onto yours, waiting for the final word that will unravel everything between you.
Woozi: Woozi doesn't react immediately, but the way his body stills speaks volumes. His eyes flicker with something intimate yet laced with danger. Slowly, he steps forward, erasing the space between you until your breaths are mingling. "You sure?" His voice carries a weight that sinks into your skin. His fingers brush against your waist, tentative at first, but when you don't pull away, his grip tightens. "I'll be gentle... but you'll feel every bit of me." It's a promise that makes your pulse stutter. Then, with no warning, he moves. His hands find your hips as he pushes you down onto the mattress, hovering over you, his smirk barely visible in the dim light. "You knew what you were doing when you said that," he murmurs, his lips tracing down your jaw. His body presses against yours, liquid seeping through the fabric of your underwear. "No going back now." His fingers trail along the hem of your shirt, teasing, testing, before slipping beneath the material, his touch searing against your skin. His lips follow the path of his hands, leaving ghostly kisses down your neck, over your collarbone, marking every inch as his own. The heat between you coils tighter, your heartbeat matching his as he meets your gaze and in the next second, the last barrier on you is gone.
Dokyeom: Kyeom blinks, as if processing your words, and for a split second, you see flashes in his eyes—excitement, hesitation and hunger beneath it all. His hands find your shoulders, grounding both of you, as he exhales slowly. "If we do this..." he swallows, his voice dropping an octave, "...I won't ever go back." His grip tightens just slightly, enough to make your breath hitch. "I trust you, but I want to make sure you trust me too." His lips brush against your ear, his voice a whisper, soft yet laced that makes your stomach coil. The moment you give him the green light, the hesitation vanishes. In one swift movement, he throws himself at you, knocking you onto the bed with a breathless laugh that quickly turns into something more heavier. His hands explore, his touch reverent but eager. "You don't even realize what you've done to me," he murmurs against your skin before his mouth captures yours completely.
Mingyu: Mingyu's smile falters—not in hesitation, but in something else entirely. The puppy boyishness drains away, replaced by something raw. His fingers find the curve of your neck, trailing down slowly, deliberately, as he tilts his head. "You sure you're not playing around, are you?" His voice is softer than expected, but there's a warning. He steps closer, so close that your bodies almost touch, and the air between you grows heavier. His thumb brushes against your bottom lip before he leans in, capturing your mouth in a deep kiss. His hands grip your waist, firm yet careful. "I'll make sure you're okay," he breathes against your lips, "but once we do this... it's just us. No second thoughts." His body presses against yours, his warmth intoxicating. "I'm not going back." Then, with a smirk that's nothing short of sinful, he adds, "And if you think I'm stopping anytime soon... you're sorely mistaken." Before you can react, he moves swiftly and unrelenting, pinning you beneath him that steals your breath. His lips find yours again, demanding and feverish, his hands roaming memorizing every inch of you. "You started this," he murmurs against your skin, his voice a husky whisper. "Now, let me finish it."
Minghao: Minghao's eyes darken, his composed exterior cracking just enough to let something else slip through. He tilts his head, watching you carefully, calculating every flicker of emotion in your face, "Sure." His fingers brush a stray strand of hair from your face, his touch lingering, almost possessive. He lets the silence stretch, watching your reaction, waiting for that final confirmation. Then, when he sees the resolve in your eyes, his lips curve into a slow smirk. "You sure you're ready for this?" His voice drops lower, softer, but it sends a shiver down your spine. "Because I don't do things halfway." His grip tightens on your waist as he pulls you flush against him, his mouth ghosting over yours before finally claiming it in a kiss that leaves no room for hesitation. "Guess we're doing this raw," he mutters against your lips, and the sheer confidence in his tone makes your breath hitch. He draws back slightly, eyes dark with lust and a hint of playful mischief. "Hope your pill work, sweetheart. Because pulling out isn't exactly my strong suit." He punctuates his words with a sharp nip at your bottom lip, followed by a sensual swipe of his tongue.
Seungkwan: Seungkwan's expression shifts from surprise to darkness, his brightness dimming into something far more intense. His eyes narrow, a slow smirk playing at the edges of his lips. "So, you really want this?" His voice is teasing, but laced with an intensity that mirrors the dark undercurrent of the situation. He steps forward, crowding into your space, his fingers skimming over your waist with a feather-light touch that makes you shiver. "You know there's no going back once I start indulging, right?" His voice dips lower as he presses his lips to yours, slow at first, teasing until his grip tightens, pulling you flush against him. His breath is hot against your skin when he speaks again, his fingers tracing patterns along your sides. "Don't look at me like that unless you're ready to take everything I'm about to give you."
Vernon: For a moment, Vernon just looks at you, his eyes searching for yours, as if giving you one last chance to take it back. But then, something shifts—his gaze softens, but the flicker of danger remains, a smoldering heat beneath the surface. "So... we're doing this for real?" His voice is low, yet it reverberates through you. His fingers brush against your cheek, barely touching, before sliding down to tilt your chin up toward him. "I won't rush you. But if this happens..." He pauses, leaning in so his lips ghost over yours, his breath warm against your skin. "You're not going to forget it." He seals his promise with a kiss, His lips move against yours slowly at first, teasing, testing, like he’s savoring the anticipation crackling between you. But then, his grip tightens on your hips, pulling you flush against him, and all restraint shatters. The kiss deepens, turning hungrier, more demanding, his tongue sweeping against yours. His hands roam, tracing over your back, slipping under your shirt, fingertips grazing heated skin. "You have no idea what you’ve just started," he murmurs against your lips. Then, in one swift motion, he guides you back, your body sinking into the mattress as he hovers over you. His gaze locks onto yours, "Last chance," he says, his fingers trailing down your arm, his weight pressing just enough to keep you beneath him. "Tell me you want this." His breath fans over your lips, waiting. But the moment you whisper yes, everything else disappears.
Dino: For once, Dino hesitates. His energy is tempered. His eyes search yours, his hands settling at your sides. "Are you sure?" His voice is quieter than usual, lacking its playfulness, yet there's an undeniable intensity there. You nod, and the hesitation melts away, replaced by hunger. His grip tightens as he pulls you in, his forehead resting against yours for just a second like he's holding onto the last thread of control he has. "If we do this..." He swallows, his voice husky now, "It changes everything. You get that?" But the second you whisper yes, it's over. The restraint snaps, and he's on you. His lips capturing yours in a kiss that's all consuming, his hands exploring, pressing, claiming. "Too late to back out now," he mutters against your lips before pushing you down, his body following right after. He pins your wrists above your head, one hand holding them together while his other trails down. "Fuck, you're sexy when you look at me like that..." His voice trails off as he leans in, kissing along your jawline, then nipping at your earlobe. He releases one of your wrists to unbuckle his belt, smirking wickedly as he slowly unzips his pants and freeing his large, hard erection. He grips it firmly, giving it a slow stroke as he looks down at you with pure hunger and lust. "Last chance to back out, baby. After I'm inside you, there's no turning back."
#seventeen scenarios#svt x reader#svt imagines#seventeen smut#seventeen imagines#seventeen reaction#★— mylovesstuffs twenty twenty five#★— mylovesstuffs#scoups seventeen#jeonghan seventeen#joshua seventeen#jun seventeen#hoshi seventeen#wonwoo seventeen#woozi seventeen#dokyeom seventeen#mingyu seventeen#minghao seventeen#seungkwan seventeen#vernon seventeen#dino seventeen#smut
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Thangyu NSFW Alphabet
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Warnings: poly!thangyu x fem!reader, they're probably so ooc here I'm so sorry, not proofread I'm posting this at 4 am, mentions of drugs & alcohol, implied dubcon/under-negotiated kink in one part, somnophilia, just general smut stuff A/N: FINALLY POSTING AFTER 20 YEARS LMAO. If this sucks don't @ me the last time I wrote was idek how long ago now
nsfw under the cut
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
☆ If we’re being real here aftercare with them heavily depends on how they’re feeling…. But either way it’s pretty minimal, especially considering one of them practically falls asleep immediately (Thanos). Nam-gyu will make sure you’re all cleaned up and run you a bath if he feels like dealing with the mess right after.
Thanos on the other hand takes it upon himself to cuddle up to you, long limbs entangled with yours as he presses a sloppy kiss to your cheek or forehead and murmurs sweet nothings you can’t make out half the time.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
☆ Both of them are tits men, it doesn’t matter if they’re big or small, they don’t give a shit. Even in a non-sexual manner, Thanos just likes to keep his hands under your shirt since he tends to run cold and it’s one of many excuses to be close to you.
Nam-gyu isn’t as vocal about it but he doesn’t try to hide it. Whether it’s with an arm slung around your shoulder and his palm brushing your breasts, or full on touching you if he thinks another guy’s getting too close for comfort, you’ve gotten used to the constant feeling of hands on you.
On that note, Thanos’ favorite body part is his hands. He doesn’t necessarily get full on manicures, but he does take good care of them. He adores how big they are compared to yours and even Nam-gyu’s. The mere sight of his thick fingers wrapped around your smaller wrists never fails to make him dizzy.
If Nam-gyu had to choose, he’d say his hair. He likes when you tug at it while he eats you out because then he knows he’s doing something right. He gets greedy with it, guiding you to run your fingers through his hair just for the hell of it sometimes, or (not so) begrudgingly saying yes when you ask to braid it or put it in a ponytail.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
☆ Both of these freaks like to cum inside you and watch it spill out of you but especially Nam-gyu. There’s something about marking his territory that gets the raven-haired man off, because only he and Thanos get to fill you up to their heart's content.
If there’s time for a quickie he’ll go about his day with a smug look on his face knowing you’re walking around dripping his and Thanos’ seed into your underwear. That if anyone were to flirt with you you’d be reminded that no one satisfies you like they do.
Thanos likes how it glistens on you after you blow him and let him cum on your face, using his thumb to further smear it on your skin until you’re whining in protest. It’s his way of staking his claim, in a way.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
☆ Thanos likes to make you come at least twice in your panties that way he has something to jerk himself off with when he knows you won’t be around for a while. He’ll inhale the scent of you with a tight fist around his cock, thinking about how cute you looked with his fingers pressing down on your puffy clit.
As much of a dominant streak as Nam-gyu has it’s almost laughably easy to flip the roles on him. Almost. You have to catch him when he has his guard down, which is usually right after you have sex or when he’s too high to realize what you’re trying to do.
He doesn’t let it happen very often, and he won’t admit how much he likes it, but having you ride and praise/degrade him while Thanos watches is a guilty pleasure of his.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
☆ We all know both of them were up to some freaky shit in club pentagon like c’mon… And they can both be assholes but they’re hot and they know it, they 100% know how to please a girl.
They aren’t the most experienced in serious relationships and romantic stuff, but they’ve had random hook-ups and one night stands before. You’re in good hands, literally and metaphorically.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
☆ If they’re in the mood to use you like a ragdoll, they’ll put you in doggy style with your hands tied behind your back so one of them can fuck you into the mattress while the other uses your throat.
Otherwise their favorite is missionary. Not only can they watch every expression you pull while you’re blissed out and the way they sink into your warm heat with every thrust, but it’s easier to manhandle you like that, pushing your thighs up to your chest or pulling you into a needy kiss.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
☆ They’re more talkative and energetic when they’re high but I can’t see either of them cracking that many jokes during it in general. There might be a few here and there with both of them chuckling to each other, but they’re mostly serious.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
☆ I think it’d be absolutely hilarious if Thanos dyed his pubes purple but for the sake of discussion the carpet technically matches the drapes, it’s all natural color down there baby. He trims but still has a nice little happy trail that starts at his navel and leads down to his dick (he’s sensitive there, too. Do with that information what you will.)
Nam-gyu is more well groomed but he doesn’t care to fully shave, it’s less of a hassle that way.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
☆ They fuck you like they hate you but their actions give away how much they truly love you. Nam-gyu will tuck strands of hair behind your ear to keep it out of your face and trace comforting circles against your ankles while he has you bent over.
A more sober, softer Thanos makes sure you’re okay when they’re being particularly rough. Either way, neither of them like being too far away from you for too long anyways, and you know they mean it when they say ‘I love you’ because they aren’t doing it just to say it.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
☆ 90% of the time they don’t see the point because they have you, so what’s the point when they have a girlfriend that’s just as willing? On the rare occasion you’re not an option and they can’t get to each other they’ll scroll through the pictures and videos they’ve got of you and make it work.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
☆ This goes back to the hand thing but Thanos likes choking. He never puts too much pressure on you, his grip loose enough that you can usually push him off if you want or need to, but the power trip makes him impossibly harder.
The veins in his hands bulge where they’re wrapped around your neck, and the slight sting of pain from your nails leaving moon-shaped indents on his forearms? He’s a goner.
Nam-gyu has a huge thing for somnophilia. It probably happens one night when he can’t sleep; he’s too lazy to get himself off but turned on enough that he can’t get back to sleep.
Thanos is a deep sleeper, and he’s about to try to wake you up when he sees how peaceful you look: the soft rise and fall of your chest, lashes fluttering and the strap of your shirt falling off one of your shoulders.
You groggily wake up to him pressed up behind your back, your panties pulled to the side as he uses your slick to slide his cock between your thighs.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
☆ Literally anywhere inside of your shared apartment but they’ll never do it in any public setting hands down. Both of them are possessive and jealous, they wouldn’t even risk someone else being able to see you at your most vulnerable. Screw the neighbors that have to listen to you scream every night.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
☆ Just you, really. You dressing up pretty in lingerie does wonders too, but they aren’t picky when it comes to you and they definitely don’t need anything special. Pray that YOU can keep up with THEIR libido, actually.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
☆ Seriously hurting you is a no-no. They’re up to trying anything once if you or either of them wanna try something new to spice it up in the bedroom, but there’s a certain line they won’t cross.
If they choke or slap you in any way it’s because you asked for it, and they’ll make up some sort of safe word or action like tapping them three times if you need them to stop/slow down.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
☆ Service doms? Nah, they eat you out for their pleasure. They don’t care if you’re shaking and pushing them away from you because you’ve lost count of how much you’ve come, these two get drunk on the taste of your pussy.
They both have long fingers that curl just right to hit your sweet spot dead on, and Thanos’ are thicker, too. That paired with their rings and they’ll have you crying for them. Don’t get them wrong, they won’t argue if you get on your knees and pull on the waistband of their pants instead.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
☆ They do both! They can fuck you so hard and fast you’re seeing stars afterwards or they can take their time with you, pouring all their desperation and want into making love to you. They’ll never call it that, though, but you know they’re secretly saps.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
☆ They’re always down. There will genuinely not be a time you ask them, even if you have to be somewhere within the next 5 minutes, that they say no. They might not happen often but if a quick session can sate all of you for long enough then running a little late is more than worth it.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
☆ Back to them being disgustingly possessive they aren’t big risk takers in the sense of doing it anywhere semi-public or straight up public, but they’ll always experiment. In their mind, if they already know your body like the back of their own hands, why not play around with things that’ll enhance the experience?
They start out simple with handcuffs, and if you’re up for it they might introduce toys too. They don’t mind stuff like anal either.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
☆ They could go all night if they wanted to, but Thanos doesn’t last very long with the amount of stimulation unless he’s purposefully trying to edge you or himself. Nam-gyu has a bit more stamina being younger than him, so if Thanos gets tired he’ll keep himself busy pleasuring you while Nam-gyu uses your cunt.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
☆ Not many, they have handcuffs and rope that they’ll use to restrain you sometimes. They have a paddle that they’ll break out to use on you if they’re feeling mean, but not crazy often.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
☆ Nam-gyu is the fucking KING of teasing you oh my god. He’ll finger you and ignore your clit for hours, stopping when you clench around him because he knows you’re close.
He’ll hold your hips down so you can’t grind against him while you’re sitting on his lap and making out, signaling Thanos to run his hands up and down your sides and pressing feather-light kisses to the nape of your neck but nothing more.
Thanos likes to tease you from time to time, but usually it’s more torture for him to hold back from sliding into you than it is for you to feel him slipping the tip just past your tight walls before pulling back out.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
☆ In general neither of them are exactly loud, but they’re not quiet either. They’ll grunt and pant in your ear, deep, guttural moans that send shivers up your spine.
If you’re topping Nam-gyu (or Thanos) he’s more loud, but he’ll try to bite down on his tongue or bottom lip to contain his whines and whimpers. You’ll have to force a thumb between his teeth if you wanna hear him.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
☆ They’ll occasionally smoke weed or drink before they fuck you because it’s a different kind of high from their usual drugs, and they won’t force you to do it but if you do wanna try they like to shotgun the smoke directly into your mouth and then kiss you.
It usually starts with Nam-gyu teasing you about your apprehension, then being surprised when you climb onto his lap and ask for a hit. He’ll give Thanos that look, then pull you in by your chin and tell you to open.
The simple but direct command has you clenching your thighs together, which doesn’t go unnoticed by either man.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
☆ Thanos is about average but he’s thick and veiny (and he’d be uncircumcised hear me out). His dick also curves slightly to the right. That’s ALL I’m saying about him otherwise I won’t shut up. Second more in-depth post later maybe.
Nam-gyu’s isn’t as thick but he’s longer than Thanos, reaching into the deepest parts of you and stretching you out with ease.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
☆ Let’s just say high. They’re both already always horny separately, but together you’ll be lucky to get any sleep.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
☆ Light sleeper Nam-gyu 🤝 Deep sleeper Thanos. Very much self explanatory but Thanos will be out like a light within minutes, meanwhile Nam-gyu likes to wait until you’re both asleep to really get comfortable anyway <3
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#🌙 ── 5iyoworks#squid game#squid game x reader#squid game season 2#squid game 2#thangyu#thagyu#thangyu x reader#nam gyu#nam gyu x reader#thanos#thanos x reader#divider credit: cafekitsune
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Infest (Part 2)
Stalker!Azriel x Reader
Summary: Azriel is on assignment to watch over you. He really really likes you.
Warnings: Stalking, mentions of guns.
Word Count: 2,116
(Part One)
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You’re sound asleep, and Azriel’s never felt more awake.
It’s been an hour and sixteen minutes since you stumbled back home without a care for your surroundings and your phone falling halfway out of your purse.
Azriel kept his distance, as he always does. As he was told to do. He’s always been a good soldier. Never gone rouge. Never abandoned a soldier even when he maybe should have. His finger has never slipped from the trigger.
There’s something about you that makes him want to, though. Remove his finger from the trigger just to run it down the slope of your jaw, tuck that piece of hair back behind your ear that falls dangerously close to your soft, parted lips.
You barely made it home. Barely made it out of your costume that sits in a crumpled pile on the floor, heels kicked off in two different directions and red cape draped over one of the posters of your bed. He can hear the snores of your friend Cassian from the living room, each rumble of his chest grates on his ears, the serenity he usually has when he stands at the foot of your bed and watches you sleep.
Cassian is a fly buzzing in his ear, is what he is. He could barely hold himself up better than you, and he wasn’t in seven-inch platform heels that looked as heavy as cinder blocks. Azriel wondered if he was going to have to scrape you off the sidewalk if your friend tripped and took you down. At least his mission would most likely be over.
But there’s something about spending his days and nights watching over you, waiting for the inevitable other shoe—heel—to drop, that keeps his head screwed on straight, keeps him calm. Keeps him ready.
His eyes trail your body again. Arm folded up beneath your pillow, the other resting over your side. The fabric of your sheets draped barely over that sinful red bow tied at the waistband of your panties. The oversized shirt you managed to wrangle yourself into hides the curve of your breast, the smooth skin of your stomach and shoulders that he wants to sink his teeth into to taste.
You didn’t have it in yourself to scrub the makeup from your face. After a pit stop at the local late night pizza joint with your friends, you parted with Cassian in tow, bright-eyed and giggling about your favorite rom-com you were going to force him to watch. Your favorite. You’ve watched it nine and a half times since Azriel started assignment.
If he never hears Matthew McConaughey’s voice again it will be too soon.
He stays by his spot at the end of your bed. Watching. Never touching. He hasn’t even lain himself upon your cozy looking comforter, the one scrunched between your legs right now, hasn’t slipped between the sheets and held you to the mattress like he’s thought about.
There will be time for that.
You shift, murmuring something incoherent beneath your breath, and roll, taking the silky sheets with you. Azriel watches for a long moment, counts in his head the time it takes you to sigh, for your shoulders to ease as you fall back into that heavy slumber.
He strolls lightly to the window, dodging abandoned jeans, a yoga mat that he’s never seen you unroll, but he uses when you’re otherwise occupied. There’s a pair of well-worn slippers that he avoids, along with a shoebox stuffed with photos you dug out of your closet and never put away.
Your apartment is lived in. Azriel’s not sure he can remember a time where he had things that would clutter his room. His life has been hospital corners on beds and a gun tucked under his pillow. Fully geared up while he slept on the cold, hard ground. Leaning up against a wall with a gun cradled to his chest. He would never have photos or trinkets that could compromise him, not that he has anyone nor anything that could be used against him. He is a solid, steel trap of apathy.
A void.
The sky is dark with cloud cover, no moon in sight. He scans the skyscrapers that surround your apartment, searching for any signs of movement. It brings him back to his time in the military, scoping out perimeters, keeping an eye out for snipers. He hates the location of your apartment. Anyone in a higher level could peer into your open windows, because you always forget to close your curtains. If there were anyone like him out there, you’d already be dead.
Motion in the corner of his vision rips his gaze to the boulevard. Streetlights line the street, the second one from the corner flickers, going dark for one long second, and when it bursts back to its short-lived brightness, a figure stands below it.
Azriel recognizes the body in point one seconds flat.
His jaw grinds as he examines the figure. Arms crossed over his chest, sleeves of his black shirt rolled up to his elbows, top button undone. One leg crossed over the other as he leans casually against the pole. He’s sure there’s a satisfied smirk on the pricks face, knowing that Azriel has clocked him in an instant, and is already making his way to the door like the well-trained hound he is.
It's easy to skirt the hibernating giant on your couch. Azriel shoots him a dirty look on the way out, just because he can. He reaches behind into the waistband of his pants, palming his pistol, the metal of the weapon a comfort against his hand.
He takes the stairs, never the elevator. Shoves his way out of the lobby door and scans the street quickly. Not a car in sight, not another soul besides the one still lounging beneath the light. If he had a soul, Azriel might be surprised.
The closer he gets, the wider that foxlike smile grows. The harsh, yellow glow makes his teeth look sharp. Amber eyes glow like hot coals as Azriel approaches, halting just outside the ring of light.
Azriel doesn’t start the conversation. He never does. He gets his assignments, makes his reports, and finishes the job. He doesn’t ask questions, and his boss doesn’t question him.
So, what the fuck is Eris doing here?
There’s a reason his boss chose Azriel for this particular assignment, because Eris would have already thrown a bag over your head and tossed you into the back of the sleek, black SUV parked at the corner and towed you back to the mansion. Azriel isn’t Eris, doesn’t think they share a single trait, and he’s never been grateful about anything in his life, but he sure is about that.
Eris’ eyes flicker to your apartment window and if it were possible, Azriel would still. He’s well-trained. He keeps still. Doesn’t let a sliver of the white-hot rage that flashes through his body reach the surface, even when Eris’ gaze seeps that familiar glimmer of wickedness.
“What were you doing up there?” His voice is silky, a prowl almost. He quirks a brow, and it’s always been his mission to try to get Azriel to crack. Not once has his little jibes worked. “Aren’t you supposed to be keeping watch from your car?”
Azriel doesn’t respond, only stares at Eris.
If only he could unleash a bullet from the chamber and empty it in his pompous face.
Following a long beat, Eris releases an impatient exhale. He rolls his eyes so hard that it’s a surprise they don’t stick. A glimmer of pride builds into nothing more than a whisper of a hair dragging across Azriel’s skin. He plucks it away easily; lets it float away with the gentle breeze.
“It’s been over a month. Boss is getting antsy.”
Boss. As if it isn’t his father that’s one of the most powerful mafia dons on the east coast. As if he’s not his son.
“She hasn’t shown any signs of knowing,” Azriel gives him this. The same seven words the reports he’s sent back to his boss every week has contained.
“Maybe she knows you’re following her.”
Azriel’s features sharpen in the darkness. Hazel eyes narrowing a fraction. Muscle of his jaw popping. Lips thinning a hairsbreadth.
“She doesn’t know,” he refutes, tone monotonous. “She doesn’t know anything.” Not about him, not about the world he lives in, not about herself.
He’s beginning to think that this mission is a lost cause. That you’re not the girl they’re looking for. Azriel doesn’t give up on missions, he sees them through, and he’ll wait as long as he has to, as long as he’s told. It’s not like it’s a hardship watching over someone so pretty.
“You can’t tell me she’s flown under the radar for this long without slipping up,” Eris exhales in frustration, shoving himself from the lamp post. So quick to anger. If Azriel knew anything about choosing an heir to a mafia empire, Eris would not be the next in line. He wouldn’t even be fourth in line, the pretentious asshole.
But Azriel is just a soldier, a mercenary at the wrong place at the wrong time.
Perhaps it was the right place at the right time.
“Read my reports. They’ll tell you all you need to know.” Azriel beings to turn to head back to his post. He’s been gone for just over six minutes now, and he knows better than anyone how much can happen in such a short period of time.
As always, Eris opens his fucking mouth. “Your reports don’t say shit. One might think that you’re sleeping with her for Mothers—” He doesn’t see it coming. Doesn’t have the chance to get the last word out of his mouth before the muzzle of Azriel’s pistol is pinning his jaw shut.
“Want to say that again?” Azriel asks, voice gruff. He’s not fucking around. He never does. His hands aren’t trembling like Eris is in his grip. His finger is poised, steady on the trigger, waiting for the moment to pull.
He doesn’t care that he’s aiming a gun to his don’s son. Doesn’t give a fuck if Eris runs right home to tell daddy what he’s done. It’s not the first time Azriel has pulled a gun on the impatient heir, and it isn’t the last.
Right now, Eris is a compromise to his mission. You don’t leave his sight, yet he had to leave his watch post in order to entertain the amber-eyed fool that glares up at him. Fucking idiot.
Not even the harsh metal of Eris’ gun digging into the flesh just above Azriel’s hipbone does anything to strike fear into him. He’s felt worse.
“Get…the fuck off me, man,” Eris bites, carefully so he doesn’t trigger whatever hairline tripwire Azriel lives on. He’s a fucking psycho. Which is probably why his father employs the ex-military man.
Azriel’s credentials never fucking lie. He wouldn’t feel an ounce of remorse if he pulled the trigger right now. Boss has six other sons, even if most of them don’t show any promise to take over the family business.
Well, maybe one. Azriel always keeps an eye on that one.
“Get the fuck out of here, Eris,” Azriel says, deathly calm. He releases the auburn-haired man who stumbles back like Azriel pushed him. “If you compromise my mission again, you won’t be so lucky.”
“Fuck you,” Eris spits. His gun is clutched tightly in his grip, white-knuckled. He won’t use it. Azriel wouldn’t be surprised if he’s never killed a person a day in his life. Privileged in a fucked-up world, but privileged nonetheless. Eris takes another step back, the darkness of the city block draping his shoulders in black. The familiar blacked-out SUV screeches to a halt at the curb. Azriel knows who’s driving, who sits passenger, and the number of guns pointed in his direction. Eris’ hand lands on the handle, he tosses one, final scathing look over his shoulder, pinning Azriel with the harshest look he can muster. It’s all for naught, since it doesn’t affect Azriel in the slightest. “He won’t wait forever, you know,” he spits, and climbs into the van.
Azriel watches the vehicle take off down the street before the door even closes behind Eris. The engine revs, and whoever is driving blows right through the stop sign.
Azriel watches until the taillights disappear from view, and then some, before he tucks his gun back into the waistband of his pants and treks his way back to your apartment.
He’ll wait however goddamn long Azriel wants him to wait.
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Taglist: @prettylittlewrites @ushijima-stits @peaceandcrackers @sveretrice
#azriel x reader#acotar#azsazz#acomaf#acowar#azriel#azriel/reader#stalker!azriel#dark romance!azriel#azriel fanfiction#modern!azriel au
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We Can Love Again Part Two | Kwon Ji-yong (G-Dragon)
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Summary: You and Jiyong finally run into each other after the events of the other week and have a talk.
Warnings: Mild language, some angst.
Author's Note: This is part two of We Can Love Again. Part one can be found here!
It had been two weeks since the night Jiyong had stormed out of your house. Two weeks since the worst night of your life. At first, you’d thought that had been because of your boyfriend dumping you, but as the days had spread into weeks you’d realized your feelings for your best friend. The only issue with that was Jiyong was currently not speaking to you. You didn’t want to be one of those clingy pathetic girls so you’d tried your best to not text him. You however weren’t used to having space in your friendship and the last two weeks had been the longest of your life.
Thankfully, the rest of the group hadn’t cut you out and had been filling you in on Jiyong’s whereabouts. You knew he was back home, prepping for Youngbae’s show tonight and you knew that you shouldn’t bother him, but that didn’t stop you from picking up the phone and calling him. It went to voicemail as expected and you sighed, as you put your phone down. Youngbae had left a ticket for you for this evening and you really didn’t want to go while you were on the outs with Jiyong, but you also wanted to support your other friend. If he’d just answer his damn phone.
You really didn’t want to go to this without speaking to him, but maybe this was the only way. You were nervous walking up to the sure, sure Youngbae and Daesung weren’t mad at you, but that didn’t exactly make you feel any better. You loved those two like they were your brothers, but they weren’t Jiyong. “Was beginning to think you weren’t coming” Youngbae greeted you with a hug, and you smiled at him as he led you down the hallway. “I wouldn’t have missed it.” He nodded at you, folding his arms as he stopped outside the dressing room door. “He’s in there, be nice.” You rolled your eyes, wishing your friend luck as he walked away. You stood outside the door, trying to give yourself the courage to open it. Just as you were about to reach for the knob the door opened and you came face to face with Jiyong. “Hi.”
He stared at you for a beat before shaking his head and walking out of the room. You turned, watching him storm off down the hall and sighed, leaning against the wall. This wasn’t how you expected this to go, to be fair, you hadn’t expected much but you weren’t used to Jiyong being mad at you. “Oh, you’re here!” Daesung popped his head into the hallway offering you a smile and you nodded, heading inside. “At least you’re happy to see me.” Daesung followed you inside. “He just needs time. He’s missed you.”
“He could’ve answered any of my calls!” It wasn’t like you’d left him high and dry that night. “I couldn’t” You turned around to see Jiyong leaning in the doorframe, hurt evident on his face. “I’m gonna - “ Daesung slid past Jiyong and disappeared down the hallway. “Why couldn’t you?” You went to move closer but Jiyong held out his hand stopping you. He moved just inside the room, closing the door behind him.
“You know why I couldn’t. I needed time to process.” His eyes moved from the floor to your face, “I still do.” He admitted as he pushed himself off the wall, making his way past you, towards the vanity table. “Dae and I need to get ready, I can’t do this now.” There was so much you wanted to say to him, so many things he deserved to hear but you knew better. He had a show to do and you weren’t going to ruin that for him or for his fans. “Okay. I’ll go.” You glanced at him, hoping he’d turn and face you but he stared straight ahead. With a sigh, you made your way across the room and down the hall. You could at least watch Youngbae from the side stage the rest of the night.
As the show was coming to an end, you spotted Jiyong heading over to you, and you folded your arms around yourself tightly. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be between you two, it had always been easy. Simple. Now everything seemed so cold and distant. You hated that you’d caused him so much pain. You hated even more that you had the way to solve it but he wouldn’t hear you out. “Good luck.” You offered and he smirked, shaking his head. “Yeah, thanks. We’ll talk later, ok?”
He walked off before you could answer, and all you could do was watch as he walked away from you again. You didn’t like this new normal, but if this is what he wanted, you’d give it to him. At least for now. You moved slightly, to get a better look at the stage. No matter how weird things were between you and Jiyong you never missed an opportunity to see him perform. And with how hot he looked today, you weren’t missing this. “You love him” Daesung sang as the final notes of Power played and you jumped. You’d been so mesmerized by Jiyong’s performance that you hadn’t even realized Daesung was standing there. “How long have you been standing there?” Your hand went to your heart and Daesung laughed.
“Long enough.” He put his inears in and before resting his hands on your shoulder, “No remember, there’s three of us. Don’t just drool over Jiyong for this next one.” He winked and walked away from you. You rolled your eyes, before looking out towards the stage and caught Jiyong’s eye. He raised a brow, nodding towards where Daesung was standing and you shook your head. If he really thought something was going on between you and Daesung he was insane. Daesung would never do that to Jiyong, nor would you. You focused your attention on anyone but Jiyong during their set, deciding it was your turn to be pissed at him.
“Daesung’s up next, so I guess I’ll just catch you later.” He brushed past you. Oh no, he was not getting away with this. You’d just have to apologize to your friend later for missing him. “Jiyong, wait.” He stopped, turning around slowly, “Why should I?” His eyes slanted into a glare and you matched his expression. “Because I’m in love with you, you idiot” That wasn’t how that was supposed to come out and you gulped as he took two large steps, closing the distance between you. “What did you say?” He was standing close, way too close for you to have the confidence to say what you’d just said again. Your eyes found his and you took a breath. “I’m in love with” your words got cut off as his mouth covered yours. His hands cupped both sides of your face, and you wound your arms around his neck drawing him closer.
Someone cleared their throat behind you, causing the two of you to break apart, Jiyong’s hands still on your face as you turned to see Youngbae standing behind you. “Yeah, happy for you, but there’s people here.” he pointed to the various crew standing around you and you groaned, burying your head in Jiyong’s chest. You’d been so caught up in the moment you’d forgotten where you were. Which was ridiculous. Jiyong laughed before reaching down for your hand. “Come on.” He pulled you away from your friend and the crew back to the safety of his room. The door barely had time to close before his lips were back on yours. Jiyong had waited years to hear you say those words and he wanted to make sure you knew just how much he loved you back.
“Wait, wait.” You pulled away, placing a hand on his chest. “Shouldn’t we talk about this?” You tilted your head to get a better look at him. Yeah, sure, you’d said you’d loved him but that didn’t mean you had an idea what this even was. “What’s there to talk about?”
“Well, I mean. Do you even want to be with me?” Jiyong frowned at your question. “Of course I do. I’m in love with you. That was the only reason why I left that night. I thought you didn’t feel the same, that you didn’t want to be with me and I needed time to accept that and have you back as my best friend. But if you’ll have me, I want us to be together.” You grinned up at him, nodding your head.
“That’s what I want too. I’m sorry it took me so long to catch up to you.” He shook his head, pulling you in for another kiss. “Again?!” Youngbae called as he closed the door behind him and Daesung. You and Jiyong pulled apart, glaring at your two friends. “Is this official now or what?” Daesung asked, looking between the two of you, the grins plastered on your faces. “Yeah, it is.” Jiyong’s arm snaked around your back pulling you towards his side. This is all Jiyong had ever wanted, and now that he had you, he was never letting you go.
tag list: @wcnderlnds, @alosss-blog @sooyasya @dprvivi @infinetlyforgotten
#g dragon x reader#kwon ji yong x reader#gdragon x reader#kwon jiyong x reader#bigbang x reader#g dragon#kwon ji yong#my fics#wcla2#divider by cafekitsune
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Bad formatting is an accessibility issue. I cannot read badly formatted text without giving myself either a headache or a full-on migraine. I am not joking, and I know I'm not the only person. Learn to format or resign yourself to being the architect of your own prison of unread fic. rant about summaries below. It includes yelling, swearing, and several summary formats for people to use.
IF I SEE ONE MORE "OHHHHH I CAAAAAN'T SUMMARIZE WELL JUST READ IT" I AM GOING TO LOSE MY FUCKING MIND. I do not read those fics specifically be cause I don't know what's fucking in them now do I!?
If you "can't write summaries" do not say so and think people will read your fic out of pity. I specifically do not click on fics that trot that slop out and expect me to eat.
Hell in a Fucking Hand Basket - just include a fucking line or two of dialogue!!!! It doesn't even have to be amazing dialogue!!!!!!
If you don't respect your own writing enough to figure out a way to summarize it and do at least minimal edits, I'm not spending my time on it. Why would I invest more than an eye roll if you're not going to bother to give your readers even three words and an occasional line break of actual consideration? "oooohhhh but its sooo haarrrrrrd"
THE FUCK IT IS. It may be intimidating or overwhelming at most, but if you wrote a fic in the first place, you can write two sentences. FFS, there's infinite possibilities! Pretend your fic is a book you're reading in a coffee shop. Imagine a stranger comes up to you and asks what the book is about. What would you tell them? Use that as the summary. Do you share the fic with friends? Ask them the most memorable part and use a paraphrasing of that. Keep the ending in, don't keep the ending in. You could even just list the main character(s) and what happens/what internal thoughts they have, what conversations happen.... This does not even have to be a complete sentence.
Here, I will even make a format for you cowards!!!
1. Who or what stars in the fic, what pairings are in rom fic
2. Blurb
3. Tags
4. Content warnings The blurb can be: the contrivance you thought was fun to explore, the actual plot with or without the ending, the type of au, an actual paragraph of the fic, or even just the inspiration, and a bajillion other things! EXAMPLE:
Mazeeda, Gabriele, Soo-Jung, Mazeeda/Soo-jung, Background Jamal/Betty
Retired Magical Girl AU. Former rival magical girls stuck at same table at a wedding of a childhood friend. Drunken shenanigans and makeouts ensue.
Tags: dramedy, adults haunted by teen angst, rivals to friends to lovers in 2 hours, bi solidarity
TW discussion of eating disorders
IT'S REALLY NOT THAT FUCKING HARD!!!!
*This poll was submitted to us and we simply posted it so people could vote and discuss their opinions on the matter. If you’d like for us to ask the internet a question for you, feel free to drop the poll of your choice in our inbox and we’ll post them anonymously (for more info, please check our pinned post).
#EVEN “BLORBETTE AND BLORBELLA STAND AROSS THE ROOM SNARKING AT EACH OTHER FOR TEN CHAPTERS AND EVENTUALLY FUCK NASTY” IS BETTER THAN NOTHING#IF YOU CAN'T RESPECT YOUR OWN DAMN WRITING THEN RESPECT YOUR READERS!!!#“wEeEehHhHHhh I cAn'T wRhHiiIitE a SuUuHhmMaRreEeEe”#yes you can#yes you -damn well- can#YES YOU FUCKING CAN#FUCK YOU#STOP WALLOWING IN YOUR SHAME LIKE A DOG ROLLING AROUND IN ITS OWN SICK#OWN YOUR FREAK AND GIVE US TWO FUCKING SENTENCES ON THE 150K WORDS YOU'VE WRITTEN ABOUT HOW THE LATEST TEPID WHITE BOYS TOUCHED#THE 'WHY' CAN LITERALLY BE 'BECAUSE I SAID SO' BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT A FAN FICTION FUCKING IS!!!!#'this is about byzantine architecture‚ boat engines‚ gifted kid burnout‚ and t4t ace lesbian romance'#PERFECT I'LL TAKE 20#'sasuto n naruke r gay. 2gethur'#GREAT! PERFECT! A PLUS! NOW THAT YOU MADE AN EFFORT THIS WILL FIND THE PEOPLE THAT WILL READ IT LOVE IT PRINT IT OUT AND EAT IT BY THE PAGE#aaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!#I am a fucking busy woman and capitalism does not allow enough free time for me to have the patience for that kind of sad sack drivel#and even if it did I STILL wouldn't read anything with a garbage summary saying they can't fucking write summaries!!!!
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Since February 9th is my birthday I got an idea, how about what one piece dilfs do on your birthday?
What the OP Dilfs do on your birthday
Characters: Doflamingo, Mihawk, Crocodile, Smoker, Shanks
A/N: oowwwww, happy birthdayyyy, i am so glad that you asked me for this.
Masterlist
Dracule Mihawk
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/4659b80922115f0cc0167d9e6dd9a9bf/1b0aaa95fc4e25b4-1c/s540x810/03c15efff8f90c68a12abda6c4cf83d791a3835c.jpg)
He prefers a rather small event, just him and you, maybe Perona and even Zoro if he can.
But if you want a party with other people, then he would try to tolerate other peoples presence.
Picture this: the backyard of your families house, all with balloons, food and all your relatives from all ages.
Then Mihawk with a glass of wine having to stand children and annoying aunts.
When you didn't found him anywhere, you searched for him and found him with your grandma (or another old female relative) gossiping.
When you left the house and finally are alone, he finally gave you your gift... probably jewelry.
Donquixote Doflamingo
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/953ad1647fe24ceaf9f7af8f3dcd9997/1b0aaa95fc4e25b4-40/s540x810/ba34d4efc3aabdf5846b533d4320635ab171ee4c.jpg)
He doesn't make it an official holiday but every one takes it like that cause there is a parade all over the city.
Like a Valentine's day 2.0
Privately he does a big feast on the castle and it's the only time you got to sit on the throne (and not his lap).
Like he says "You are the queen for the day"
He even orders some people to do humilliating things to make you laugh, but you have to stop him and reassure him that you just need to be with him on the moment.
Every one of the crew was invited to the party which means that Doflamingo ordered them the exact gift they have to get you, so you can have everything you want.
Baby 5 told you his plan so you went to thank him for the party and for being so sweet and lovely, at least for your special day.
Sr. Crocodile
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/89b581e028eb092c823ae7f893a028ac/1b0aaa95fc4e25b4-1a/s540x810/afeb6a6892a5055e5a0db6fb8e4ab07e0625889c.jpg)
A surprise trip, to anywhere you want like... you woke up and he asked you were you wanted to go, you said and hours later there you are.
You went to all the sites you wanted and he even ordered some fireworks for midnight.
He reserved on your favourite restaurant and he even "asked" (he literally threatened their families) to do your favourite cake.
Of course, all the things you've been wanting since christmas, he got them from you.
In the case the trip couldn't be made cause you already had plans with friends and family, expect him to celebrate before you go and wait for you to continue celebrating.
He understands that you can share your time with other people and he won't interfere but he absolutely would use all the other time you had.
Quality time and gifts are his love language so expect that a lot.
Smoker
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/460104b7d350e25161af43395485b851/1b0aaa95fc4e25b4-99/s540x810/86284b284bcc194e033b4c323c11afc157d97e78.jpg)
You both go a day out at work for personal affairs.
He mades you breakfast and put it on the bed, this day, you are the only thing on his life.
You do everything you want this day: a picnic? done, a fancy restaurant? movies and popcorn?
All of it? also yes.
He even tries to cook himself a birthday cake but the attend gets so bad that you had to help him.
He is reticent about it but when you suggested him that this is the perfect couple birthday activity, he accepted.
The ussual movie flour fight type of thing, but you ended up doing the dessert and you finally made your wish.
But there is no better wish than to have spent the day with him.
Akagami Shanks
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/6a29b927450bc5f160e52074ea6051f8/1b0aaa95fc4e25b4-40/s540x810/ad13bdcf4fcf6ed3bd301e04e537349d7393106a.jpg)
You are free from all your responsabilities on the ship.
You are the first to be served on lunch and everyone left you alone to be at peace.
More than that the day went awfully normal, even with Shanks, you started to even feel crazy cause nobody even said "good birthday" but they clearly know due to their behaviour.
Then Shanks ordered to arrive on an island without warning, was almost night so you decided to go to your room, a little sad about the day.
So, half an hour later, Shanks lifted you up and forced you outside, to the night, and you saw how they had prepared a surprise party.
You almost slapped all of them for the secretism but you know you have a soft spot for these idiots.
Food, alcohol and cake passed among everyone and lasted all night.
Shanks took the moment when they all were drunk to be more affectionate and attentive with you, showing you how much love he was acumulating all day for the brithday girl
#one piece#one piece x reader#one piece imagine#one piece x you#one piece headcanons#dracule mihawk#dracule mihawk x reader#dracule mihawk x you#dracule mihawk imagine#donquixote doflamingo#donquixote doflamingo x reader#donquixote doflamingo x you#donquixote doflamingo imagine#smoker#smoker imagine#smoker x reader#smoker x you#shanks x you#shanks x reader#shanks imagine#shanks#sir crocodile#crocodile x reader#crocodile x you#crocodile imagine#Akagami Shanks#akagami no shanks#akagami no shanks x you#akagami no shanks x reader#akagami no shanks imagine
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I don’t even like boys - Arsenal teen! r
Summary: Reader has sex with a boy because she is confused about her sexuality but ends up having a pregnancy scare. Leah and Katie comfort her through it.
Word count: 2.5k
Warnings: Talks of teenage pregnancy (but she’s not pregnant!!) a little bit of good luck, baby vibes?
Masterlist here
This was based on a request! Hope you guys enjoy it.
..
The Health check day at Arsenal was awkward. The team was split into groups of three, each assigned to a general practitioner, a physiotherapist, and a gynaecologist. All the girls had to be examined by all three before returning to training, as per house rules, Y/n guessed.
Y/n, Leah, Katie, and Kyra, sat bored in the gynaecologist’s waiting room. Leah tapped her foot in frustration. “This is ridiculous. We could be training at the gym instead of waiting here,” the blonde muttered.
“You say that every season,” Katie said, rolling her eyes. The Irish woman had a small rubber ball, which she kept bouncing back and forth against the wall.
“Yeah, because every season we lose at least two hours here just so we can go inside and answer the same questions Dr. Smith always asks,” Leah grumbled. “I know she is old and all that, but she always asks me if there is a chance I could be pregnant!” The captain continued, looking at the door as if making sure Dr. Smith wouldn’t hear her.
“I’ve told her I’m just into women like twelve times already,” Leah complained.
Leah wasn’t the chattiest person around, but mate —she could talk when she was annoyed at something.
“Don’t give the woman a hard time,” Kyra said, smiling at Leah. “It’s bureaucracy, they must keep records and stuff like that. Plus, you can’t just expect Dr. Smith to remember everybody’s sexuality. Not everyone in the team is gay.”
“The kid’s right for once,” Katie agreed.
“For once?” Kyra asked, noticing the teasing. “Shut up, McCabe.”
“You might have a point, Kyra,” Leah said, turning slightly to Y/n, who hadn’t said a word since the groups arrived at the waiting room. “Why are you so quiet, Y/n?”
“Maybe because I have nothing to say?” Y/n answered sharply, rolling her eyes.
“Someone’s in a mood,” Katie said.
“Shut up,” Y/n mumbled.
“Ouch!” The young girl exclaimed as she felt Leah pinching her arm. “Why would you do that?” Y/n snapped, looking at the captain and then at the sore skin on her arm.
“Don’t be rude,” Leah warned firmly using her captain's voice.
“I’m not being rude; you guys are just annoying to be around!”
“You guys? I haven’t done anything to you?” Kyra defended herself, a pout on her face.
Y/n hadn’t been in a mood when she woke up, but her day took a turn for worse when she received a notification on her phone from her period-tracking app.
Your period is a week late
She hadn’t realized it, being too caught up with training and school to notice how her menstrual cycle was irregular. Y/n wouldn’t have to worry about it if she had stuck to her rule —not having sex with boys — but it just happened.
Y/n wasn’t sure about her sexuality yet, but she knew she liked girls more than boys. Until last month, she had never kept any type of physical intimacy with a boy before, but it all changed when she met this nice boy from her school. He was a year old and just very kind to her.
The girl wouldn’t say she was attractive to him or anything, she actually didn’t want to have sex because she was horny, or any other reason teenagers normally have sex.
She just wanted to see if she would enjoy herself or not. If she was able to like boys or just girls.
Y/n was curious.
One thing led to another and when Y/n realized she and Chris had sex with the during a very cold Saturday afternoon. After they finished, well, he finished, Y/n put on her shirt and underwear, staring at the boy sleeping in her bed.
It felt wrong.
Not because he was rude to her or bad at sex, but because he just… wasn’t a girl.
“Hey, Chris,” Y/n poked the sleeping boy. “Mate, wake up.”
“Hm?” the boy mumbled, slightly opening her eyes. “What? Is it morning already?”
“What? No, of course not, it’s been just15 minutes since we—”
“Had sex?” The boy finished her sentence, a smirk displayed on his face.
“Well—Yeah! That’s why I need you to leave,” Y/n could see the smirk disappearing from the boy’s face, disappointment settling in.
“Leave? Like… back to my house?”
“Exactly.” Y/n left the bed, looking for her pants on the floor. Where were they? She could swear she had put it on her desk chair.
As Y/n looked around, she felt Chris’s eyes on her body. She didn’t like it.
“Did I do something wrong?” Chris finally asked, sitting straight on the bed, back against the headboard. “It was my first time too, but I hope I didn’t hurt you or anything.”
Y/n’s face soften. Maybe she was being a bit rude.
“No, Chris, it was alright, I just—I don’t think I really like…boys.” Y/n confessed, finally finding her pants under her bed.
“Oh.”
“Yeah mate, I’m sorry.”
Chris left the bed and began looking for his clothes, while Y/n stood there awkwardly. She shouldn’t feel awkward in her own house. When Chris was dressed and ready to go, Y/n led him to the front door.
“This could stay between us, right?” Y/n asked softly as she opened the door to the boy, the cold winter breeze meeting her face. She was just now realizing that Chris could very much tell anyone what they did.
Even the Media.
“I—I can’t have people knowing about this… the team and the contract—” Y/n continued.
Chris gave her a sad smile. “Don’t worry, Y/n. Let’s just pretend it never happened.”
After a clumsy goodbye, Chris left, and Y/n was finally alone again. She desperately needed a shower.
And that’s how Y/n realized she was going through a pregnancy scare.
Y/n didn’t feel different, she hadn’t had any weird cravings. She hasn’t gained or lost any weight. Surely, she wasn’t pregnant. She wasn’t on any birth control, but she had made sure Chris was wearing a condom.
They were both a bit clumsy, but they had remembered to check if the condom had a hole or not before Chris threw it away. At least they’d done one thing right.
So yeah, Y/n didn’t know why she was so nervous. She didn’t have any reason to be. She followed the Sex Education’s rules to the letter… but, what if something had gone wrong? Was she even ovulating that day? She couldn’t be sure.
Y/n began biting her nails. Her teammates could sense Y/n’s tension, but they didn’t want to make the younger girl angrier than she already was — although they were all very curious about the reason for her foul mood.
After what felt like centuries, Alessia appeared in the waiting room, having just left the gynaecologist’s office. The blonde exchanged a few words with the other girls before leaving. Now Y/n just had to wait — Dr. Smith would call one of them soon.
Within minutes, the girls heard Dr. Smith’s voice through the door. “Next!” The old lady called.
Y/n probably got up too quickly from her chair, because Leah, Katie and Kyra looked at her like she was crazy. “I’ve never seen you so excited to go see Dr. Smith before,” Kyra said.
“You almost took the chair with you,” Katie added suspiciously.
“I—I just want to be one of the firsts! The last time we had check-up day, I was the last one to go,” Y/n said defensively, taking small steps towards the office.
“You were the last one because you were terrified of going to the gynaecologist,” Leah said, raising an eyebrow. “I literally had to go in with you. “
Did the older girls really need to remember everything all the time?
“I’m just a changed woman now,” Y/n sighed. “You all might see me as some kid, but I’m almost 18 —things change.” The defensiveness in Y/n voice was unmatched, so Leah just let her go without pressing any further
“Something happened to her.”
That was the last thing Y/n could hear before entering Dr. Smith’s office.
..
After completing the physical part of the exam, Dr. Smith sat across from Y/n at her desk, her notebook open on Y/n’s medical files. Y/n couldn’t pay attention to what the old woman was typing —she was too distracted by the sight in front of her: a replica of a uterus with a baby inside.
“Darling, I’m just going to go through the same questions as always, okay,” Dr. Smith said with a smile.
Y/n answered all the questions honestly. Yes, she had bad period cramps. No, she didn’t have migraines. Yes, it bothered her to play during her period. No, the training didn’t make the cramps go worse.
Everything was fine until Dr. Smith asked:
“During your last check, up you said you weren’t sexually active, right? How about now?”
Y/n blushed, staring at the doctor in front of her. Did she really have to go through this just to play professional football?
“Hm—So about that—yes,” Y/n fumbled over her words. She scratched the back of her head nervously.
Dr. Smith remained silent, waiting for Y/n to continue, but the young girl clamped her mouth shut, looking at the walls instead.
“Yes what, darling?” asked Dr. Smith. “This is a private space; you don’t need to be embarrassed.”
Private space? As if! Y/n thought, Dr. Smith had her whole hormonal history — and now sex life — written up in her file.
“I’ve had had sex since the last time we talked.” Y/n explained, no emotions on her face. She just needed to be direct.
“Would you be okay telling me if it was with a boy or a girl?” The poor woman was really trying to get Y/n to open up— Y/n had to give her that.
“Hm—” Y/n bit her nails. “Two months ago, I was with this girl. She was my first. And then last month, I had sex with this guy, but it was only once,” Y/n explained.
“So, you’ve had two sexual partners, correct?”
“Yes, but the girl was the only one who I slept with more than once.” Y/n was going to die of embarrassment, — she was sure of it.
“Alright darling, had you had any STI test after then?”
“Yes, everything’s fine.”
“Great! That’s great. What about your period? Have you noticed any changes in your cycle after having intercourse?” Dr. Smith questioned.
Y/n stared at the women. She had to tell her.
“Well, about that,” Y/n laughed nervously. “My period is kind of late, but it’s probably nothing, right? We used condoms, and not throwing up or anything, I just have to wait, don’t I?”
For a moment, all they could hear in the office were Y/n trainers tapping the floor.
“How late are you, Y/n?” Dr. Smith asked, a frown on her face.
“A week.”
“Hm,” Dr. Smith mumbled before getting up from her chair and opening a white cabinet. The older woman held a box with a baby printed on it and handed it to Y/n
Y/n started at the pregnancy test, not wanting to take it.
“We’ll have you doing this test, okay? Just go to the bathroom and pee on it. It will take 3 to 5 minutes to get the results.”
Y/n said nothing.
“You need to do it, Y/n, I know you are scared, but we can’t be sure why your period is late if you don’t take.”
Y/n took the pregnancy test, tears in her eyes.
Before Dr. Smith could say anything, Y/n was already bolting through the office door, straight to the bathroom. She heard Leah and Katie behind her. The older women were calling for her, asking what had happened, but Y/n didn’t look back.
When she got to the bathroom, she locked herself in one of the stalls, it wasn’t long before she heard the door open. Before Leah or Katie could say anything, Y/n was already crying.
Leah and Katie looked at each other, both very worried. They didn’t know what could have possibly happened back at the gynaecologist’s office, but they were sure it was bad by the way the young girl reacted.
“Hey babe, what’s wrong?” Leah asked softly. “Did something, why are you crying?”
“I’m an idiot,” Y/n answered, her hands shaking. “I’m such a fucking idiot.”
Katie and Leah shared an apprehensive look.
“And why do you say that kid? Leah questioned, trying to get the stall to open. “Come talk to us.”
Y/n was so distressed, she just wanted to get this test done over with.
“I—I had sex with this boy from my school,” Y/n confessed, tears running down her face. “I’m not even sure why, I know I don’t like boys, but I just wanted to be sure.”
“Okay, that okay, that’s completely normal,” Katie said. “It’s that why you are crying?”
Half the Arsenal team were lesbians. They’d been Y/n’s age once and knew how confusing it is to understand one’s sexuality.
“Did the boy do something to you, Y/n?” Leah asked, her voice angry. “If he did, we can find him and go to the police—”
“It’s not that,” Y/n said through tears. “My period is late, and Dr. Smith gave me a pregnancy test, but I’m just scared to take it.”
The bathroom was silent again.
“Did you use protection?” Leah asked, breaking the silence.
“Yes,” Y/n answered through the door.
“Okay, so the odds are in your favor, yeah, kid? Go take the test, and when you’re done, we’ll be right here with you.” Leah said.
“I’m sure it’s going to be negative, babe, don’t worry, take the test, and then we’ll figure stuff out.” The Irish women added.
That’s what Y/n did. She followed the instructions written on the box and just waited. She could see Katie’s and Leah’s shadows through the door opening. Who would have thought that shadows could be comforting?
A minute passed. Then two. And then five.
Just one bright pink line.
Not pregnant.
Y/n yanked the stall door open and threw her arms around Leah and Katie, who weren’t expecting the sudden embrace. The girl felt like she could finally breathe again, her heart slowing doing as her chest relaxed against Leah and Katie’s embrace.
“I’m not fucking pregnant,” Y/n said, hugging the women tight. “I might start crying again.”
“See, we were right, nothing to worry about,” Leah patted Y/n’s back
“I told you, no drama.” Katie said playfully. “Pregnancy tests are overrated anyway.”
After Y/n calmed down, the three women went back to the waiting room. Y/n had to go back inside the gynaecologist office to tell Dr. Smith she wasn’t pregnant after all. After a few minutes, Dr. Smith let Y/n go and told advised her to use birth control or IUD is she wanted to feel more protected against any potential pregnancy.
“Oh Dr. Smith, don’t worry, now I know I don’t even like boys,” Y/n said before leaving the room.
#woso fanfic#woso x reader#arsenal fanfic#arsenal women#woso appreciation#women soccer#women's football#woso community#woso
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About the only time you'll ever hear me compliment Overwatch is the Shooting Star animated short.
youtube
This is both the thing in the Overwatch canon that inspires the most genuine emotion from me, and the thing in the Overwatch canon from which I feel the most genuine emotion from Blizzard.
This is a story about a young woman who suffers from a terrifying combination of Chronic Hero Syndrome AND extremely serious untreated PTSD. She cannot allow anyone to be in danger other than herself. If anyone gets hurt, it's her fault. If her hometown suffers, it's because she didn't do enough. She went straight from playing video games to fighting wars, and she hates losing so much she would quite literally rather die. The idea of asking anyone else for help only comes to her when she has literally no other options left - and even then, she struggles to get the words out.
I cannot even imagine how it felt to be Dae-hyun in that moment, listening helplessly as your oldest friend ignores every single warning you give them, says "I'll see you at the finish line" and then you see a nuclear explosion light up the sky where your friend used to be. Did you just kill your best friend?
I've seen a lot of people interpret Dae-hyun as having an unrequited crush on D.Va in a cynical "lol friendzoned" kind of way, but I've always said - what if he does? What if he really does? You can hear the pleading in his voice. "Hana. Stay with me, Hana. I'm right here." What if your lover was dying in front of you, and you were the one who in a moment of desperation aided and abetted her recklessness? Could you have stopped her if you'd been firmer, more convincing? WHY WOULDN'T SHE WAIT FOR BACKUP?! WHY DID SHE GO OUT ALONE?! WHY WOULDN'T SHE LISTEN?! They pulled her from the water and she was barely breathing, her heart barely beating, and if she dies here, if she dies now, will it be your fault?
But you see, D.Va's fine.
She's fine.
She's not fine, of course. The media says she made it "without a scratch," which she certainly didn't. People can't doubt the effectiveness of the Mobile Exo-Force of the Korean Army. But are they even really lying? Sure, she's got a broken leg and her arm in a sling, they had to restart her heart at least once during surgery, but she's right back at work the next day - and her diet's completely unchanged, despite what the doctors ordered. Only thing that's changed is she can actually... see Dae-hyun now. He's there. He feels like her eyes don't slide off him anymore.
And that's somehow worse, because she hasn't learned a goddamn thing.
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CUPID'S CHAOS ⌇화살
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/95a8a2153cfd15e1a938f351bcdf6e0b/8eb5e78276fa680e-8e/s540x810/3af3f095b9b18c08b0b3ebf0ca6a6e2dc20dd5c0.jpg)
FLIRT ALERT! series⌇Lee Heeseung | next
pairing ᝰ heeseung x fem!reader
— featuring.. n/a | word count: 4k+
⌇ … warnings & genre ↺ college au, fluff, bickering, misunderstandings, obliviousness, 2000’s rom com vibe, kisses, pet name use (?), reader is a writer!
synopsis — You accidentally become the campus’s cupid, delivering love letters to everyone— no exception to the one meant for Heeseung even though you had the biggest crush on him. When he asks for help finding his secret admirer, You scramble to keep your own feelings hidden… until you realize that love letter was your own.
lee's ₊˚⊹ ᰔ comment ┊I’m not sure if I like this but… I hope you guys do… guys fair warning these oneshots will be extremely corny and fluffy but its valentines month so i cant control it fr! MY FIRST HEESEUNG FIC WHO CHEERED, also happy birthday jw my baby :(
Seriously just what did you get yourself into?
The first incident or “love letter” arrived onto your doorstep on a random Wednesday. It was just a soft pink envelope sealed with a heart-shaped sticker. At first, you thought it was for you until you saw the name of the girl in your english class. Maybe someone had the wrong dorm number. But when another letter shows up the next day, and then another, you start to realize two things:
1. Someone on campus has a serious crush problem.
2. You have somehow become their personal delivery service.
By Friday, you had a whole collection of letters meant for people you barely know. With no better plan, you start slipping them into the correct mailbox, dropping them onto desks, and handing them off with a whispered, “This is for you.”
Before you know it, people started calling you the ‘Campus Cupid’.
It’s kind of fun—watching couples get together, seeing people’s eyes light up when they read something sweet. That is, until you find his letter.
Lee Heeseungs letter. The guy with the lazy smile and unfairly good hair. The guy who always seems to be exactly where you don’t need him to be. The guy you have been crushing on way more than you meant to.
It was no surprise that he would get sent a letter. He was the darling of the campus, he was a charmer, talented in sports and without a doubt extremely handsome.
You examined the letter. It was morally right to give it to him… right?
Frowning, you place the letter in his usual seat. Just because you liked him didn’t mean you can take his right of knowing that someone else does.
The day passes without you thinking too much about the letter you placed on Heeseung’s desk. Or at least, you try not to think about it. It’s not like it matters, right? Someone else likes him. No big deal.
At least, that’s what you keep telling yourself.
But then, right after your afternoon lecture, Heeseung finds you outside the lecture hall, love letter in hand.
“Hey, Cupid.” His voice is casual, but there’s a flicker of something unreadable in his eyes. He holds up the letter between two fingers. “Any idea who wrote this?”
Your heart stops.
You stare at the letter, forcing yourself to keep calm. You knew this would happen. Of course, Heeseung would be curious. You should just tell him you don’t know. That’s what you should do.
But something about the way he’s looking at you makes you hesitate.
Frowning, you take the letter from his hands, pretending to examine it like if you hadn’t stared at it for hours before handing it to him. But when you open it and your eyes scan the page, confusion settles in.
There’s no name. No initials. Nothing.
That’s strange. Most of the letters you’ve delivered always had at least a tiny clue. An initial, a signature, sometimes even a number with a name.
“What’s with that look? You must’ve seen who gave it to you, no?” Heeseung asks, raising a brow.
You look back at the letter, skimming over the heart felt words. It was weird intruding someone’s feelings like this but with Heeseungs intense stare you couldn’t say no. The letter said:
I don’t know when it started, but you’ve always been there. In the background, in the crowd, just close enough to notice, but never close enough to reach. It’s frustrating, liking someone like this. Sometimes I wish I never met you in that cafe because now you’re all I ever think about, I hope I can confront you someday.
Your stomach twists.
The handwriting. The way certain letters are slanted. The way some words are scratched out and rewritten.
It’s… familiar.
Too familiar.
Your breath catches.
Oh.
Oh no.
It was yours.
See, the first time you met Heeseung, it wasn’t in a lecture hall or at some college party—it was at a small cafe just off campus, the kind of place students flocked to for overpriced lattes and last-minute study sessions.
You had been there first, tucked into a corner seat with your laptop open and a half-empty cup of coffee beside you. The cafe was packed, the usual rush of students scrambling for caffeine before their next class, and you were too focused on your work to notice him walk in.
That is, until you heard a voice—smooth, slightly out of breath—directed at you.
“Hey, is this seat taken?”
You looked up, and that was the first time you saw Lee Heeseung up close.
Messy brown hair, a hoodie thrown over a plain t-shirt, dark eyes filled with something playful yet sleepy at the same time. You recognized him vaguely—he was in one of your general electives, though he always sat near the back, half-hidden behind his laptop. He was the kind of guy people noticed without him even trying, whether it was because of his reputation on the basketball team or just the effortless way he carried himself.
And now, he was standing in front of you, waiting for an answer.
You blinked. “Oh, um—no, go ahead.”
“Thanks,” he said, sliding into the chair across from you. He set down his coffee cup, then pulled out a notebook, flipping through the pages lazily. “You’re in my media studies class, right?”
You hadn’t expected him to recognize you, much less strike up a conversation.
“Yeah,” you admitted. “I sit near the front.”
“Right, that’s why I never see you,” he said with a lopsided grin. “I usually get there late.”
You let out a small laugh despite yourself. “Yeah, I’ve noticed.”
For some reason, that seemed to amuse him. Heeseung leaned back in his chair, tapping his pen against his notebook. “So, what’s got you looking so serious? Studying for something?”
You glanced at your laptop screen. “Not exactly. Just… trying to finish an article for the campus paper.”
That caught his interest. “You write for the paper?”
“Kind of. It’s just an opinion column. Nothing major.”
Heeseung tilted his head, considering. “I’ll have to check it out sometime. Maybe I’ll learn something.”
You rolled your eyes, but you could feel your face growing warm. Heeseung had this way of making everything sound lighthearted, but there was something about the way he was looking at you—like he actually meant it—that made your stomach flip.
You didn’t know it then, but that moment—him sitting across from you in a crowded cafe, lazily flipping through his notes while keeping light conversations, smiling at you like you were the only person worth paying attention to—that was the moment it started.
The quiet, unshakable feeling of a new beginning forming.
You blink rapidly, snapping back to reality, only to find Heeseung staring at you with a curious tilt of his head.
“You good?” He waves a hand in front of your face, and you realize you’ve been gripping the letter like it personally offended you.
“Yeah!” You blurt out, a little too quickly. “Fine. Super fine.”
Heeseung narrows his eyes, but instead of questioning your suspicious expressions, he leans against the wall next to you, arms crossed, the picture of casual confidence. “So? Any idea who my secret admirer is?”
Your stomach does a full gymnastics routine.
Yeah, actually, it’s me. Surprise!
Obviously, you can’t say that.
You force a laugh, shoving the letter back into his hands like it’s a ticking time bomb. “No clue! There are so many love letters I deal with around campus, you know? Could be anyone.”
Heeseung mockingly pouted. “Come on, Cupid. If anyone can figure it out, it’s you.”
You freeze. Oh no.
Heeseung grins, nudging your arm playfully. “Please? be my lead detective I need to know who has this much of a crush on me.”
You stare at him, trying not to look as horrified as you feel. He’s practically pleading, eyes shining with excitement. He wants to know. He’s curious.
And you?
You want the earth to swallow you whole.
But instead, you swallow down your panic and give him your most confident, totally-not-dying-inside smile. “Yeah, sure! I’ll, uh… I’ll let you know if I figure it out.”
Great. Now you’re investigating your own love letter.
Romcoms make this look so much easier.
In your defense, the love letter was never supposed to see the light of day.
It had been one of those late-night, caffeine-fueled brain dumps—the kind where your emotions got the best of you, and instead of focusing on your essay due at midnight, you had decided, hey, why not write a dramatic love confession you’ll never actually send?
It started off as a joke. A harmless what if?
What if you had the guts to tell Heeseung how you felt?
What if you weren’t just the campus Cupid, but actually someone worth writing about?
What if, for once, you weren’t just the messenger in everyone else’s love stories?
So, you had poured your heart onto the page. You wrote about how frustrating it was, liking someone from a distance—watching him laugh in the campus café, seeing him glide effortlessly through every class, always just out of reach. You let yourself be honest, because no one was ever supposed to read it.
And then? You stuffed it into your notebook, forgot about it, and went about your life like it never happened.
Until now.
Now, it was in Heeseung’s hands just because you thought it was written by someone else, and now you were stuck in the worst romcom of all time—investigating your own love letter while trying desperately to keep your crush a secret.
Honestly?
You were so, so doomed.
“So, what do you think?”
You try to keep your face neutral as Heeseung waves the letter in front of you, looking more confused than anything.
“About… what?” You ask cautiously.
“This.” He gestures to the paper. “The letter. My so-called ‘secret admirer.’”
Your spoke before you could stop yourself. “So…you figure out who it is. What happens then?”
He thinks, running a hand through his hair. “I mean, i’ll turn them down, it’s really flattering but it’s also kind of a hassle.”
A hassle?
You force out a laugh, even as your stomach twists into knots. “Oh, come on, it’s not that bad. Someone clearly put a lot of thought into this.”
“That’s the problem.” Heeseung exhales sharply. “I wasn’t expecting this. Im interested in someone else, and now I have to figure out how to let this person down without making things awkward.”
Your face heats up. You want to disappear.
“So, you’re not interested in them…? You like someone already?” You ask hesitantly, barely able to get the words out.
Heeseung shakes his head. “I don’t even know who they are. But I hope they don’t take it the wrong way, Y’know?”
You stare at him, pulse pounding in your ears.
He has no idea.
And now? You definitely can’t confess.
Not when you already know his answer.
And if there was one thing worse than knowing Heeseung didn’t want a relationship, it was actively helping him investigate your own confession.
Every day, he’d bring up new theories about who could’ve written the letter, and every day, you’d have to nod along, pretending to be just as clueless.
At first, it wasn’t so bad. Heeseung didn’t seem to be taking it too seriously, mostly brushing it off whenever it came up. But as the days passed, something shifted… just slightly.
“Okay, so hear me out,” Heeseung said, leaning against the bookshelf beside you. The library was quiet, save for the occasional rustle of papers and muffled whispers. “What if it’s someone from one of my classes?”
You kept your eyes on your laptop screen, pretending to focus on your assignment. “You already went through that theory. Twice.”
“Yeah, but I was thinking—what if they’re too nervous to say anything in person? What if it’s, like… someone who sits far away from me?”
You bit your lip. “And yet, you’re still expecting me to figure it out?”
“Well, you’re good at reading people.” Heeseung grinned, nudging your arm. “You always seem to know what’s going on with everyone.”
Your heart stuttered. If only he knew just how right he was.
Heeseung sighed, folding his arms over his chest. “I don’t get it. They wrote all this deep, meaningful stuff, but they didn’t sign their name. What’s the point of confessing if you don’t want the person to know?”
You swallowed hard. “Maybe they were scared.”
Heeseung tilted his head slightly, looking at you in that way that always made you feel like he could see through you. “Scared of what?”
You hesitated. “Of ruining what they already have.”
His expression shifted. “You think they know me?”
You forced a shrug. “Probably. Why else would they write all that?”
Something flickered in his gaze, something unreadable. He held your gaze for a second too long before clearing his throat. “Huh. I never really thought about it like that.”
You turned back to your screen, desperate to focus on anything else. But then Heeseung moved closer, his arm brushing against yours as he leaned in to look at your laptop.
“What are you even working on?” he asked, voice quieter now, like the space between you had shrunk to something more intimate.
You could barely think straight. “Just… an essay.”
“Hm.” He didn’t sound convinced.
His voice was too close. His scent—clean, with a hint of something warm—was too distracting. It was stupid, so stupid, how easily he got under your skin without even trying.
The next few days started to get a little weird.
Heeseung had always been playful, always teasing and leaning in too close, but now it felt… different.
It was in the way he started remembering the little things—how you liked your coffee, how you tapped your fingers when you were thinking, how you always fixed your hair when you were nervous.
It was in the way he kept looking at you, his gaze lingering a little too long before he caught himself.
It was in the way his teasing changed—less casual, more intentional. Like he wanted to see how you’d react.
And then, one night, things got dangerous.
You were in his dorm, flipping through the list of names you had pretended to compile for the investigation. Heeseung sat on the floor beside you, his laptop balanced on his knees, absentmindedly chewing on a pen cap as he read through the letter again.
“You know…” he said, tilting his head, “whoever wrote this is actually really good with words.”
Your blinked. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. It’s, like… weirdly personal.” He frowned slightly, scanning the page. “I feel how much they mean it.”
You held your breath.
He let out a soft laugh. “Honestly, it kinda sounds like your writing.”
Your heart stopped.
Your head snapped up so fast you nearly gave yourself whiplash. “What?”
Heeseung blinked at you, startled. “I mean—you’re good at writing, right? I read your papers, You’ve always been good with words.”
He reads your papers?
You forced out a laugh, hoping he couldn’t hear the way your voice shook. “Right— Well, I didn’t write it, obviously.”
Heeseung studied you for a moment, his expression unreadable. Then, to your horror, he smirked.
“Why do you look so guilty?”
“I don’t.”
“You do.”
“I’m literally just existing, Heeseung. Shut up.”
He laughed, but there was something behind his eyes that made your stomach flip—something like curiosity. “Stop freaking out im just kidding.”
The investigation had led you and Heeseung all over campus, following false leads, and ultimately getting nowhere. You had been walking back toward the dorms when the sky, clear just moments ago, suddenly turned gray.
And then—of course—it started to rain.
Hard.
“Are you serious?” you groaned, pulling your jacket over your head as you and Heeseung ran toward the nearest cover—a small wooden gazebo near the campus library.
You both skidded to a stop under the roof, breathless and drenched. Heeseung shook his head like a wet dog, flinging water everywhere.
“Really?” You scowled, wiping raindrops off your face.
He laughed, ruffling his already-messy hair. “My bad.”
The sound of rain drumming against the roof filled the space between you, the cool breeze making you shiver.
“Here,” Heeseung said, shrugging off his hoodie.
You blinked at him. “What?”
“You’re cold, Cupid” he pointed out, holding the hoodie out to you. “Take it.”
“I’m fine,” you said, crossing your arms.
He scoffed. “Just take it before you get sick.”
You hesitated, but he rolled his eyes and stepped closer, draping the hoodie over your shoulders himself. The warmth of it, of him, surrounded you immediately, and your breath hitched.
You looked up at him, ready to protest, but he was already watching you—his expression unreadable, the usual teasing glint in his eyes nowhere to be found.
“Why do I feel like you’re hiding something from me?” he murmured suddenly.
Your pulse spiked. “What?”
Heeseung tilted his head slightly, studying you in a way that made your stomach twist. “I don’t know. You just…” He trailed off, then shook his head. “Never mind.”
You swallowed hard, clutching the hoodie tighter around you.
The rain kept falling around you, blurring the world outside the gazebo, making this moment feel like it existed outside of everything else—outside of reality, outside of whatever mess you had gotten yourself into.
For a split second, it felt like you weren’t just Heeseung’s reluctant investigation partner. Like you weren’t the person holding onto a secret that could ruin everything.
Like, maybe, he could actually like you back.
But then he sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “We should probably wait this out before heading back.”
Just like that, the moment passed and you were left standing there in his hoodie, drowning in warmth, drowning in him, pretending you weren’t completely, helplessly falling apart.
After the rain, the campus felt quieter, the usual chatter dampened by the lingering water in the air. You walked alongside Heeseung, both of you with your hoods up, trying to shield yourselves from the leftover drizzle. It was awkward but comfortable — the kind of silence where you weren’t sure if you were supposed to talk or if it was okay just to exist in the same space.
Heeseung was the first to break it. “You know, you really don’t have to walk me all the way back to my dorm. It should be the other way around—.”
You glanced at him, trying to hide the blush creeping up your cheeks. You were worried about your own feelings, and now, Heeseung had a way of making your heart flutter with the smallest of gestures.
“I don’t mind,” you replied quickly, too quickly. “I just figured I should, you know… make sure you’re okay.”
Heeseung chuckled, a low sound that made you feel warm despite the cool rain. “You’re acting kind of weird. Usually, you’re so naggy. I thought I’d never see you get flustered.”
You looked away, trying to hide your face. “I’m not flustered.”
There was a brief pause as Heeseung watched you. His eyes softened, the usual teasing light in them dimming a little. “You’re not fooling me, you know.”
You slowed your pace, nervous now, your heart pounding as you tried to look calm. “I’m not trying to fool anyone.”
“I think you are,” he replied, stepping a little closer, his shoulder brushing yours as the two of you continued walking side by side.
You swallowed hard. The proximity felt different now, more charged. Your voice faltered. “What do you mean?”
Heeseung didn’t respond right away. Instead, he shifted his gaze to the ground, the rain creating ripples on the wet pavement. “It’s just… you’re always so careful with what you say. Always so in control. But sometimes… I wonder if you’re hiding something.”
Your stomach dropped at his words. You glanced over at him, but he wasn’t looking at you. The air between you felt heavier, and the tension seemed to stretch out longer than usual.
“I’m not hiding anything,” you murmured, even though part of you wished he could know the truth — or maybe, just maybe, that he could feel the same way.
Heeseung’s voice was quieter now, his tone almost teasing, but there was something else in it, something deeper. “Then why do you always look at me like that? Like you’re holding back?”
Your heart skipped a beat. “What?”
He finally met your eyes, his gaze intense. There was a flicker of something — was it vulnerability? — in his look. “Like you’re scared to let me in. What are you afraid of?”
Your breath hitched. For a split second, you were paralyzed, unsure of how to answer. Was it possible he was starting to see through your walls?
Heeseung’s gaze softened as he noticed the look on your face, sensing something unspoken. He took a step back, offering you a small, reassuring smile. “Maybe I’m just overthinking it. Forget it.”
But you couldn’t forget it. Not now. You could feel the space between the two of you shifting, the weight of his words lingering. Something was different, something had shifted, and you weren’t sure if it was just your heart racing or something more.
For the rest of the walk, neither of you spoke much. But every time your eyes met, it felt like there was a new understanding between you two — a shared secret that neither of you was ready to fully admit, but both were beginning to feel.
It had been a long day, but when you stepped out of your last class, you couldn’t shake the feeling that something was different. It wasn’t just the cold air or the approaching dusk; something was off, and you couldn’t quite put your finger on it. That was until you spotted Heeseung standing by the bench outside the library, his gaze fixed on you as if he’d been waiting for a while.
Your heart skipped a beat.
He looked at you for a moment before he spoke. “Cupid, we need to talk.”
A nervous flutter danced in your stomach, and you forced a smile. “Uh, sure. What’s up?”
He took a deep breath, stepping toward you, and you noticed the letter in his hand — the same one you’d written to him, the one that had been slipped anonymously into his mailbox just a few days ago. Your heart pounded in your chest, the realization of what was happening dawning on you.
Heeseung didn’t say anything for a moment, just held the letter between his fingers, glancing down at it. “I know this is from you,” he said quietly, his voice gentle but filled with a soft surprise. “I figured it out after I read it again.”
You froze, your breath catching in your throat. You had hoped, prayed, that he wouldn’t find out this way. But here it was, and you couldn’t avoid it any longer.
“How… How did you know?” you asked, trying to hide the nerves creeping up your voice.
He smiled slightly, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “A few things gave it away. The way you worded everything… It just felt like it came from you.”
“Also I found some of your notebooks while we were at your dorm and I matched the handwriting…” He blurted out.
Your heart sank. You had spent so long hoping he wouldn’t realize it was you, but now it seemed impossible to hide the truth.
“I… I’m sorry,” you said, almost embarrassed. “I didn’t mean for you to find out like this. I just… didn’t know how to tell you. I didn’t want to make things awkward between us.”
Heeseung’s expression softened. “Why would it be awkward?”
“Because I’ve liked you for a while, and I didn’t know how to say it,” you admitted, looking down at your shoes. “So I thought if I wrote the letter, I could control it. But then I accidentally gave it to you and everything is just— I don’t know It was never meant to reach you.”
Heeseung’s smile widened, and something about the way he looked at you made your stomach flip. “Well, I don’t know about you, but I kind of wish you’d just told me sooner.”
Your eyes shot up to meet his. “What?”
“I mean it,” he said, stepping a little closer. “I wasn’t expecting it to be you but now that I know… It’s kind of a relief. I’ve been wondering why you’ve been acting so weird around me.”
You blinked, taken aback. “I’ve been acting weird?”
Heeseung laughed softly, his eyes twinkling. “Yeah, you’ve been avoiding me like the plague. Always a little too nervous when we talk.”
You felt a wave of warmth rise to your cheeks. “I didn’t mean to… I just…”
He took another step forward, the distance between the two of you shrinking. “You don’t need to explain. I get it.” He paused for a moment, his eyes meeting yours with an almost teasing glint in them. “Honestly, I’ve kind of had a feeling you liked me. You just never said it.”
Your heart skipped a beat. “Wait… you knew?”
He grinned. “Not for sure, but I wasn’t completely blind. I just didn’t want to make assumptions.”
A laugh bubbled up from your chest, and you felt your nerves ease a little. The tension that had been building between the two of you melted away, replaced by something lighter, something more familiar.
“So… this doesn’t make things weird?” you asked cautiously, unsure if you were reading him right. The last thing you wanted was to make things uncomfortable.
Heeseung shook his head, his smile softening. “No. Actually, I’m kind of glad. Now I don’t have to turn anyone down because I like someone else.”
Your heart raced as he closed the gap between the two of you, standing only a few inches away. He looked down at the letter in his hand, then back at you, his expression serious but warm. “I don’t think I ever really realized how much I liked you until now. I think I’ve been too caught up in my own head to notice, but hearing this from you? Yeah, I think I feel the same.”
For a moment, everything seemed to pause — the sound of people passing by, the rustling of the leaves in the breeze, even the thumping of your own heartbeat — until Heeseung’s words sank in fully. The shock of it left you speechless, and the only thing you could manage was a soft, almost breathless, “Really?”
He chuckled, the sound light and comforting. “Really. I like you too, Cupid— I mean, Y/N.”
A smile spread across your face, and you couldn’t stop it. Your heart felt lighter than it had in days, as if a weight had been lifted off your chest. You had been so afraid of how things might turn out, but now, with Heeseung standing here in front of you, it felt like everything was falling into place.
Heeseung held the letter out to you, a soft chuckle escaping his lips. “You know, you could’ve just told me. But I guess this works too.”
You took the letter from him, glancing down at the words you’d written once more, a smile tugging at your lips. “Maybe it was a bit dramatic. But… I was too scared to just say it. I didn’t want to mess things up.”
He reached for your hand, gently taking it in his. “You didn’t mess anything up, Cupid. You just… made everything clearer.”
And just like that, all the tension and uncertainty you’d been feeling seemed to dissolve. There was no more hiding, no more pretending. You were standing here, with Heeseung, both of you finally understanding the feelings that had been simmering for so long.
“So,” he said after a moment, his voice playful again, “How about we skip the letters next time and just go for a dinner date?”
You laughed, your heart full as you squeezed his hand. “That sounds perfect.”
Heeseung smiled, his gaze soft and filled with something genuine. “Good. Let’s not wait any longer, I really want some ramen.”
And with that, the two of you walked off together, the air between you light, and the promise of something more ahead.
BONUS 𝜗𝜚˚⋆
Dating Heeseung felt like stepping into something familiar but entirely new at the same time. The comfort of your friendship was still there—the teasing, the ease, the way you could talk about anything and everything—but now there was something softer, sweeter, laced between every interaction.
Like right now.
It was late, the two of you curled up on your dorm room floor with a half-finished pizza between you, an old playlist humming softly from your phone. The world outside felt quiet, like this moment only belonged to the two of you. Heeseung was leaning against the bed, his legs stretched out, while you were sitting cross-legged beside him, picking at the crust of your pizza slice.
His hand, which had been resting casually near yours, suddenly slid closer, his fingers tracing the tips of yours absentmindedly. It was such a simple thing, but it sent a shiver up your spine nonetheless.
“So,” Heeseung started, voice slow and teasing. “How’s it feel? Finally dating the guy of your dreams?”
You rolled your eyes, already knowing where this was going. “You’re impossible.”
Heeseung grinned, leaning his head back against the bed. “No, but really. You had a crush on me for so long, and now look at us.” His fingers fully laced with yours now, his touch warm and effortless.
“I wouldn’t say I had a crush that long,” you mumbled, taking a sip of your drink to avoid looking at him.
“Are you kidding? You literally wrote me a love letter.”
Your face burned. “Okay, one letter—”
“One?” Heeseung gasped dramatically, sitting up and turning toward you. “So you’re telling me there aren’t, like, ten versions of that letter somewhere in your notes app?”
You choked. “There absolutely are not.”
“Oh my god.” He laughed, eyes gleaming with amusement. “There are. You rewrote it a bunch of times, didn’t you?”
You covered your face with your hands, groaning. “I am not having this conversation.”
Heeseung was grinning now, having way too much fun at your expense. He reached over, gently prying your hands from your face. “No, no, let’s talk about it. Tell me, how long did it take you to get the perfect wording? Did you, like, pace around your room dramatically?”
You huffed, crossing your arms. “For your information, I wasn’t that dramatic.”
Heeseung smirked. “Mhm. So you didn’t dramatically sigh and go, ‘No, this isn’t right, I need to capture his essence’?”
You picked up a stray piece of crust and chucked it at him. He dodged it easily, laughing as he caught your wrist, pulling you toward him slightly.
“You’re the worst,” you mumbled, but there was no real annoyance behind it.
Heeseung was still grinning, his fingers now playing with yours absentmindedly. “You love it.”
You sighed, shaking your head. “I really don’t.”
“You do,” he countered, tugging you even closer until you were practically pressed against his side. His voice dropped, softer now, almost teasing in a different way. “Did you mean everything you said in that letter?”
You swallowed, suddenly feeling like all the air had been sucked out of the room. “What if I did?”
Heeseung tilted his head, his gaze locked onto yours, and suddenly, the playful atmosphere melted into something else—something quieter, more intense.
“Then,” he murmured, his thumb brushing lightly over your knuckles, “I’d tell you that I think about it a lot.”
You blinked. “You do?”
Heeseung nodded, his expression unusually serious now. “I mean, do you even realize how… nice it is to know someone felt that way about me? And not just anyone—you.” He exhaled, his lips curling into something softer, more affectionate. “I don’t think I ever told you, but when I first read it, before I even knew it was from you, I remember thinking… whoever wrote this really cares about me.”
Your heart was thudding so loudly you were sure he could hear it.
“And then,” he continued, “when I found out it was you? It just… it all made sense.”
Your breath hitched slightly. “It did?”
Heeseung hummed in response.
“You’ve always been there,” he said softly. “I just didn’t realize how much I wanted you to be closer.”
You felt your throat tighten, emotion bubbling up in your chest, but before you could even think of a response, Heeseung leaned in, his forehead resting lightly against yours.
His eyes flickered to your lips for just a moment before meeting your gaze again, as if silently asking permission.
You didn’t need to think twice.
Closing the small distance between you, you kissed him.
It was soft, slow—like both of you were still memorizing the feeling. Heeseung sighed against your lips, his hand sliding to your jaw, tilting your face toward him just slightly.
When you finally pulled away, breathless and heart pounding, Heeseung smiled, his forehead still pressed to yours.
“So,” he murmured, eyes twinkling, “if I ask you nicely, do I get to read those other drafts of the letter?”
You groaned, shoving him away playfully. “Absolutely not.”
Heeseung only laughed, pulling you back into his arms with ease. “Fine, fine. But at least let me know—was I always this irresistible in them?”
You rolled your eyes, but your smile gave you away. “Shut up, Heeseung.”
He grinned, pressing another soft kiss to your temple. “Love you too.”
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