#the lead singer & i got to chat and exchange jewelry after the show and like afterwards i was full body trembling like a chihuahua like
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i cannot stop talking huh
#oh man#finally saw my favorite band live yday but then spent today teary and in despair#the come down from all that adrenaline was so ROUGH i feel so empty and sad#like don’t get me wrong it was like a top 10 night for me i will never forget#the lead singer & i got to chat and exchange jewelry after the show and like afterwards i was full body trembling like a chihuahua like#i’ve never loved life more#but now everything feels so grey and unsatisfactory#ugh!!!!!!!!#i’m TIRED of it grandpa i’m tired of constantly planning enrichment activities for myself so i don’t leap off a building!!!!!!#also i thoufht i wss going to do a lot of wholesome hobby stuff once i moved out#like start drawing and writing and reading again and perhaps even picking back up instruments and stuff#but instead i have to schedule social interactions constantly back to back to back bc i cannot stand being alone#but then conversely when the stars aligned and my friend’s lease was ending and i wss up for transfer i was like no#i can’t do it i love being alone actually#a roommate would probably be good for my brain but at the same time i’be spent the past two years bouncing in between#stifling living conditions that never gave me my own space so now i do have to sit here and fiercely remind myself that i NEED this#anyways one ray of positivity is that i made a soup today and oh my god it is so delicious#my second soup i’ve made in this apartment and i do consider myself a culinary genius of just this genre#it’s just annoying that this is the only day this entire week that i blocked out to make myself sit in my apartment and not see anybody#but yet i’m still fiending for at least a phone call and hoping a friend texts spontaneously#i’ve been running back to back between my friends and i was like ahhhh ok i finally get a day to relax#but i do think it was a bad idea to place it right after the show bc i DEFINITELY needed company today#half the time i didn’t even know why i was crying
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