#the last pic he has this emotion of just pure joy and happiness of how much she's grown

[thepettymachine]

Donnie ungrounded Ashley

[angryinternetduck]

yellow & blue

[not my pic] Hello and welcome to 2.7k words of pure angst! This doesn’t really have a purpose lol but it’s sad and angsty and features 2020 Brits Harry so why not!!! Have some depressed Harry, angelic reader, and yellow suits. Featuring Harry Styles x famous!reader. Inspired by Woman by Harry Styles, It Isn’t Right by the Platters, and When I Was Your Man by Bruno Mars (which should give you an idea of just how angsty this is lmao).

The first time he met you, Harry was wearing a yellow suit. The first thing you said to him was a compliment about it. That suit sparked a conversation, and that conversation sparked an interest, and that interest sparked the best two years of Harry’s life.

If Harry said he hadn’t thought about that suit while preparing for the 2020 Brits, he’d be lying.

The chatter of the table he’s at isn’t boring by any means, but it’s not anywhere near captivating enough to keep Harry’s attention on the conversation and off of you. He heard about your new boyfriend, of course - who hasn’t - but this is your first public appearance together and Harry is having just a little bit of trouble breathing.

It’s been four months. Four months since you broke up, three since the news went public.

As far as the public knew, the separation was mutual. As a brand new artist, you needed to take a second to find yourself as a person. As Harry Styles, the man the myth the legend, Harry needed to focus on his next album and possible future acting career. He also supported you in your decision, and knew that the two of you would, of course, remain the best of friends.

Most of that’s true. You only just released your second album - which is doing spectacularly, of course - and Harry really does need to get this next album done. But it wasn’t mutual. Harry doesn’t think any of his break ups have been truly mutual. You broke up with him. There isn’t really any getting around it. Not that the public has to know.

The problem is that Harry understands why you broke up with him. As heartbreaking as it is, he realizes what he did. He knows that he wasn’t a good boyfriend. He doesn’t really have an excuse, either; he can explain away his faults all he wants, but at the end of the day, you’re just too good for him.

Which makes it all the more depressing to watch you positively glow without him.

Part of him wants to go over and beg for your forgiveness. He wants to walk over and get on his knees and say, I love you with all my heart and I’ll never make another mistake again and I’ll love you forever and ever, please, please take me back, I’ll do anything.

Another part of him loves you too much to do that. Maybe you’re meant to be with this new guy. Maybe he’s your one, your only, the one worthy of all your love and attention. Maybe he’ll make you happy in ways Harry never did.

Because really, all Harry wants is for you to be happy. He wants you to glow like this all the time, to forget the feeling of sadness, to never cry a single tear again. He wants the only pain you ever feel to be an ache in your cheeks from all your smiling.

He just wishes he could be the one putting that smile on your face.

One thing he’s noticed is that your happiness seems to coincide directly with his. Whenever you’re happy, he’s happy. Not at the moment, actually, because you seem happy as a clam and Harry feels like his chest is caving in on itself, but whenever Harry thinks “happiness,” he thinks of moments with you. Of moments when you were happy. Moments when you were happy because of him, with him, for him.

He surprised you with a picnic one year for your birthday. He went all out, spreading a blanket down and everything, and the two of you drank wine, ate sandwiches and snacks out of a picnic basket, and talked in Harry’s back yard until after the sun came up.

Whenever Harry thinks “happiness,” that is the moment that pops into his head.

It wasn’t a loud sort of happiness, either. It wasn’t a bouncing on top of the world, adrenaline rushing through his blood, head pounding with excitement and joy and energy sort of happiness. He wasn’t breathless or wide eyed or buzzing with emotion.

No, this was a quiet happiness. It was the very definition of content. It was your head on his shoulder, your hand intertwined with his, your whispers of, “I love you,” the soft kisses exchanged as the sun set and the stars began to twinkle into the sky. It was your giggles at his jokes, your eyes brighter than the moon, softer than the wispy clouds suspended in air.

Harry’s getting a hollow ache in his chest just thinking about it. It hurts, really, because each of those memories, those days, those nights, carved a little hole in him and filled him with love and adoration and the purest happiness anyone’s ever experienced in the history of the world.

Now that you’re gone, that happiness has disappeared and all that’s left is a hollow, empty pit.

Since you’ve been gone, other memories have started creeping out of the shadows. These are different memories, memories of Harry’s failure and your disappointment and nights spent apart and tears sliding down your cheeks.

The problem with these memories is that it’s not a specific memory. It’s not one singular memory that Harry can turn over and over in his head and decide what went wrong. It’s not one thing that Harry can think about and solidify and apologize for.

It’s a whole bunch of things. It’s all the nights spent at the studio instead of with you. It’s all the last minute anniversary gifts and half hearted, distracted dinners, and all the forgetting of events and details. It’s the gradual falling away of random weeknight flowers, it’s the slow decline of hidden poems around the house he set out for you to find.

Well, maybe there is one thing. It might have been that one date night he cancelled. It was at the very end, during the knowing glances after frequent fights, after the slow, painful descent into acceptance but before the official conversation.

Dancing with the Stars had come on TV one night.

“Hey, I’m a star,” you murmured to him, curled up against him on the couch.

“Got that right,” Harry hummed, and you smiled up at him, and that smile made this night one of the good memories. “It should be just us two,” you told him, watching the pairs made up of one professional dancer and one celebrity dance on screen. “No professional.”

You giggled. “Yeah, we’re too good for them anyway.”

You took to dancing around the house after that night. Your dancing always brought a smile to Harry’s face. Funny how all you had to do was twirl, laugh, smile, breathe, and Harry would want to smother you in kisses and gift you his entire heart.

Sometimes you managed to rope him into it. Often you wouldn’t. Often, Harry would wake up to soft music playing in the kitchen, and he would walk in and see you dancing. He’d sip his coffee, and you would spin around and make up fancy footwork, and Harry would grin and blow you kisses and whisper, “I love you.”

He offered to take you dancing one night. He lay next to you in bed and traced his fingertips over your cheeks, lips, nose, and told you all about the night the two of you would have. He talked about live music and warm food and twinkling stars and dancing. You closed your eyes and smiled and hummed one of his songs, and Harry kissed you.

Then he got busy at the studio on the night you decided on. He stayed long. He called you. You didn’t pick up, because you were in the shower, getting ready for you big night. And you didn’t see the voicemail until after you were ready, until after you were sitting on the couch waiting for him, and when you saw the voicemail you jumped up because you didn’t look at the time it was sent, and you thought the voicemail was him calling because he was outside to pick you up.

You weren’t crying when he arrived at home. You just had a quiet sort of disappointment in your eyes, one that was almost more painful than tears, because this look told Harry that some part of you expected this. Harry didn’t look particularly guilty because he hadn’t realized how excited you were. He thought you probably didn’t even get ready. He thought you’d say, “Aw, well,” and move on.

He didn’t think he’d find you on the sofa, dressed in the most beautiful summer dress he’d ever seen, looking like an angel with a broken wing. He never dreamed you’d be so upset, never dreamed he’d be the reason for you being so upset.

That was the night he realized he was nothing but a mortal man in the presence of an angel.

An actual, real live angel.

An actual, real live angel who was losing her glow because of him.

Harry takes a miserable sip of his drink and tries to involve himself in the conversation happening around him. It doesn’t work. The noise level in the room is almost headache inducing, but somehow Harry can still pick out your laugh through the chatter.

He thinks, for a moment, that he’d like a shot of that laughter. He’d like to bathe in your happiness just once more. Maybe that’s all the closure he needs. A gasp of fresh air after what seems like eons of suffocating loneliness.

Then Harry thinks he sounds pathetic even in his own head and he excuses himself from his table. He walks almost blindly through the halls without even a semblance of an idea as to where he’s going. It’s quiet out here, at least, and he can clear his head, and take a breath, and maybe -

"Hey.”

Harry freezes.

For a moment, he thinks he’s imagining things. Then he turns around, and as it happens, he’s not.

There you are, in all your glory, a hesitant smile on your lips. You’re wearing a lavender dress. It fits you perfectly, makes you look like you’re floating off the ground, and Harry wants to cry because it matches his bow perfectly and that wasn’t even planned and goddammit, universe, that’s just salt in a gaping wound.

“Nice suit,” you say, and now your smile looks more sad than hesitant, and Harry feels the tears building in his throat because you remember too, of course you do, and Harry opens his mouth to reply but he can’t get his words out and now he’s on the verge of tears not only because he’s sad but also because he’s embarrassed.

“Thanks,” Harry finally chokes out.

“You’re welcome.”

The corridor suddenly feels long and empty and silent.

“Heard Feather on the radio the other day,” you say.

Feather. One word, a million memories shifting through Harry’s head faster than lightning.

A gifted necklace, filled notebooks, picked out notes, hummed melodies. Murmured lyrics in ears in early mornings. Night after night in the studio, together. Rubbish takeaway food, in the studio, together. Laughter over everything and nothing. Falling over each other in the booth, soft sighs and blissful gasps replacing giggles and shrieks of amusement. Late, late nights, together. Hearing it on the radio for the first time, together, almost driving off the road because of the excitement.

Hearing it on the radio last time, alone, almost driving off the road because of the stab of grief.

Harry’s not sure what to say to that. What do you expect him to? Oh, great, me too, fantastic song, innit? So he pauses for a moment and then replies, “We should make a sequel.” That gets a laugh out of you, and the thought strikes Harry to bottle it up and wear it in a little bottle around his neck.

“That would be something, huh?” you say.

“Call me,” Harry says. “I’ll book a studio.”

You smile. “Yeah, sure.”

“Don’t forget,” Harry tells you.

“I won’t,” you say, and there’s a beat of silence. Your smile fades as you look at him, as he looks at you, and Harry looks away because your smile’s about to disappear completely and Harry doesn’t think he could stand being the cause of your smile disappearing one more time.

You clear your throat. “Alright, well… Expect that call.”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll see you around, H,” you say.

“See ya.”

You turn around and walk away. Float away. Fly away.

Again.

Flight, Harry thinks, watching you go. That’s what the sequel would be called. Feather. Flight.

You wore a white dress the first time the two of you performed it live. It’s such a love song. It’s the sappiest shit ever written by anyone in the entire world. If anyone else had written it, Harry would’ve rolled his eyes and said, Bullshit.

But it wasn’t. The song wasn’t, the love wasn’t, nothing was. It was the complete opposite. As pure and true as love could possibly be. Which makes it all the more painful that Harry couldn’t keep his shit together enough for you.

That’s another one of the Happy Memories: that first time performing together. You in your white dress, Harry in a silver, shimmering suit. The two of you did a whole choreography; you messed up every other move and Harry tripped over his own feet quite a few times, but the effort was there. The combination of the overwhelming yet familiar excitement of being on stage and the otherworldly bliss of simply being in your presence is a feeling Harry will never forget.

The air in the hallway grows heavier and heavier with each passing second.

Harry should get back to his table.

He starts to walk. He peers up at the ceiling as he does, hands locked behind his back, deep in thought. People are cheering out in the main room. Harry listens to the noise and closes his eyes, trying to shut his brain off.

The fans, he remembers, were devastated upon hearing the news of your breakup. It was kept quiet long enough that the questions and concerns weren’t particularly invasive, but it still hurt. It hurt like hell. It was ripping off the bandaid of the first month and poking and prying at the wound until Harry cried onstage and ducked out of an interview and missed a show.

Feather was taken off the setlist.

Once, during a lull in a show, the audience began to sing it. That was kind of strange. Harry looked up at the bright lights and swaying figures and heard his song, your song, being sung back to him by hundreds of strangers. It occurred to him, then, that it was not, in reality, your song. By that point, it meant something to other people as well.

That was very strange.

Harry ended up strumming out the chords for them. He smiled when the audience grew louder.

He heard later that the exact same thing happened to you. It was a few nights later, maybe the next week, and there were some technical issues. In the quiet, the fans began to sing Feather. You joined in just a second later, adding in your bit of the choreography.

Harry tried his hardest not to watch the footage, he really did, but he couldn’t help it.

He cried a lot that night.

When he finally makes it back to the main room, you’re situated under your new boyfriend’s arm, smiling brilliantly. Harry looks away as he sits down and downs the last of his drink. He grins at whoever’s talking at his table and shuts off his brain.

At the end of the night, through an alcohol- and exhaustion-muddled haze, Harry spots you by the door. He sweeps you up and plants a big messy kiss on your cheek, which you return with giggles and a kiss of your own. Harry leaves the 2020 Brits with two lipstick prints on him.

Despite the pictures splattered everywhere the next morning, Harry feels an air of contentment.

It’s done, he thinks, taking a deep breath. It’s done, and that’s good.

Because really, nothing gold can stay.

Not even the gold of a yellow suit.

***

ummm... yeah lol. hope u liked it...? lskdjf anyway there's that.

thx for reading! a reblog and some feedback would be fantastique!!!!

masterlist | ask

[anotherkpopvictim]

Into a New World (Through the Gate) - BTS OT7 Fantasy Story Chapter 1

(Pic Source - Jaiho? (I found this on a pinterest but I don’t think it was this person’s) ((Edit is by me tho))

A/N: Hi, so, this is a multi-chaptered story that I’ve had swirling around in my head for a while. I’m not sure how many chapters it’s going to be, and I’m not sure how often I’ll update (especially because I have a few other stories I need to update first) but I will finish this story one way or another.

Happy Birthday, our Hobi <3

Relationship: BTS X BTS

Rating: T (for now)

Words: 2928

Hurt/comfort, fluff, fantasy

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Chapter 1: The Banishing

Worldbuilding Notes on Fairies:

The origin of how fairies came to be is rather unknown. Their attributes and used honorifics suggest they are of Korean descent.

Fairies can be creatures of trickery. Though not inherently evil, fairies possess the ability to manipulate easily if they so please (not all use this ability, though). While they can also sometimes use aura reading to detect whether someone is lying or not, a fairy’s downfall is that they themselves cannot lie. Despite this, they are talented at twisting words and finding loopholes in different situations.

A Fairy’s magic ability is similar to that of witches, but it is easier for them to learn as they are born with a close connection to magic itself, while witches spend years and years learning to connect with magic. Fairies are often good spies as they have their smaller form that can easily hide. Fairies are born with a given color - the color of their hair and eyes. These colors represent common personality traits (though not always 100% accurate from person to person, and not all fairies have all the traits the colors represent). A mix of two or more colors just means that the person has personality traits of multiple colors (i.e. a very dark blue would have traits of both blue and black).

(Link to the basis of color symbolism I’m using - https://www.color-meanings.com/)

Colors and their meanings:

(This part is optional to read, but I will be using this as a basis for fairy personalities in the story)

Red - The color of passion and energy. Red draws attention like no other color and radiates a strong and powerful energy that motivates us to take action. It is also linked to sexuality and stimulates deep and intimate passion.

Orange - The color of enthusiasm and emotion. Orange exudes warmth and joy and is considered a fun color that provides emotional strength. It is optimistic and uplifting, adds spontaneity and positivity to life, and encourages social communication and creativity. It is a youthful and energetic color.

Yellow - The color of happiness and optimism. Yellow is a cheerful and energetic color that brings fun and joy to the world. It makes learning easier as it affects the logical part of the brain, stimulating mentality and perception. It inspires thought and curiosity and boosts enthusiasm and confidence.

Green - The color of harmony and health. Green is a generous, relaxing color that revitalizes our body and mind. It balances our emotions and leaves us feeling safe and secure. It also gives us hope, with promises of growth and prosperity, and it provides a little bit of luck to help us along the way.

Blue - The color of trust and loyalty. Blue has a calming and relaxing effect on our psyche, that gives us peace and makes us feel confident and secure. It dislikes confrontation and too much attention, but it is an honest, reliable, and responsible color and you can always count on its support.

Purple - The color of spirituality and imagination. Purple inspires us to divulge our innermost thoughts, which enlightens us with the wisdom of who we are and encourages spiritual growth. It is often associated with royalty and luxury, and its mystery and magic sparks creative fantasies.

Pink - The color of love and compassion. Pink is kind and comforting, full of sympathy and compassion, and makes us feel accepted. Its friendly, playful spirit calms and nurtures us, bringing joy and warmth into our lives. Pink is also a feminine and intuitive color that is bursting with pure romance.

White - The color of purity and innocence. White is a true balance of all colors and is associated with cleanliness, simplicity, and perfection. It loves to make others feel good and provides hope and clarity by refreshing and purifying the mind. It also promotes open-mindedness and self-reflection.

Black - The color of power and sophistication. Black is an incredibly strong and intimidating color that exudes authority and makes us feel secure and protected. Often seen at formal and prestigious events, this mysterious marvel arouses and seduces our senses with its elegance and sexiness.

Gray - The color of compromise and control. Gray is neutral, conservative, and unemotional. It is practically solid as a rock, making it incredibly stable, reliable, and calming. It has a peaceful, relaxing and soothing presence. Gray avoids attention but offers mature, insightful advice to anyone who asks.

Brown - The color of stability and reliability. Brown is dependable and comforting. A great counselor and friend full of wisdom. You can count on its help if you need an honest opinion, support, and protection. It stabilizes us, helps us stay grounded, and inspires us to appreciate the simple things in life.

-------------

Hoseok listened to his older brother babble on to the other five high council members, trying to manifest the courage to speak up to him about what had been weighing him down since the last meeting.

Minseok, his brother, was not a bad person. However, he also wasn’t necessarily a good person either. As the crowned King of the Fairy Kingdom of Aurora, he wasn’t the worst candidate in their long history, not by a long shot. Hoseok had watched him exile a butler after he brought him an indigo-colored robe instead of a dark purple one by accident, but had also seen him send fresh-baked loaves of bread to the orphanage nearby as a treat for the children. He was a man capable of coming up with creative solutions but sometimes allowed his power and authority to cloud his judgment.

An enigma, his brother most certainly was.

This was why Hoseok was so nervous to bring up the topic on his mind. He wasn’t sure how Minseok was going to react, though no one ever really knew. Nevertheless, he needed to give it a try, for the good of their people.

“King Minseok,” Hoseok addressed, standing up from his seat when a lull came in the conversation. He bowed politely towards his brother. “There is a concern of mine that I needed to bring up, brother.”

The older man with a head full of shocking dark purple hair and eyes the same color looked at him curiously. “Yes, Hoseok-ah. What is the matter, brother?”

Hoseok gulped against the lump forming in his throat and forced himself to speak. His brother was being kind right now, but he knew the man could turn on a dime. “The army, brother. They have been urging us for some time now to give the soldiers more time before sending them to war.”

Minseok raised an eyebrow, “We have an alliance with the jinns, a promise to fight with them against the demons.”

“I know, my King,” Hoseok replied. “But our soldiers are being slaughtered on the battlefield. If we could change the laws in place and give them a few more months of training to build up their skills-”

“So, what you’re saying is that I should spend more money and time on our soldiers when the war they are fighting isn’t to be a long one?” The King asked, interrupting Hoseok’s words.

It was predicted that the jinns were going to win the war with the demons, though it was a slow process. “We’ve lost thousands of our citizens, Minseok-hyung.” Hoseok urged. “Lives were lost when they could have lived if only they had more skills and endurance. The captains have been coming to us since they realized the pattern months ago.”

Minseok furrowed his eyebrows in annoyance. “We already give so many resources to the military, we don’t have anything to spare.”

“We’ll find some, we’ll find a way-”

“ENOUGH!” Minseok boomed, standing up from the throne and slamming his hands down on the table. “The way the laws are written right now give our soldiers plenty of time to refine their skills before they are sent off to fight. More soldiers come back than don’t and that’s more than we could ask for. I will not spend another second on this unimportant topic when there are other issues to be resolved.”

“But, hyung,” Hoseok pleaded. He knew he should just shut up, but the worried words of the captains wouldn’t leave his mind. “Perhaps you could just allow some of the captains to tell you their worries personally. I really think that we need to-”

Minseok’s dark purple hair began to lift around his golden crown, glowing and sparking with magic. That was when Hoseok knew it was over for him.

“Hoseok-ssi, you know better than to talk back to your King!” his brother hissed.

“Hyung, my King, I’m sorry-”

“You’re banished!”

Hoseok nearly choked. “W-What?”

“I’m banishing you from Aurora. How dare you rebel against the King!” Minseok raged, motioning for guards to grab onto Hoseok.

Hoseok could see the anger in his brother’s eyes, the betrayal, and knew that there was no changing the crazed, overdramatic sentence given to him.

“Minseok,” Hoseok looked at his brother with one final plea, “Please don’t do this. I didn’t mean to offend you in any way.”

Minseok snarled, his bright purple hair starting to glow and move as his power began to build up inside of him. “You’ve betrayed the crown. You’ve betrayed me. There is no place in Aurora for you any longer.”

Hoseok bent his head, knowing that his brother had truly made his decision and nothing he could say would change his mind. His own shocking orange hair lay flat against his head, no spark of power anywhere to be found - a sure sign of any fairy’s defeat.

The five councilmen who were occupying the table with the two brothers sat in silence, eyes sympathetic as they watched Hoseok being escorted out of the room.

There were ten guards that led them towards the Gate that was situated just outside the castle walls, two of them holding onto Hoseok’s arms like he was going to even try to get away. He knew better than that.

A misty, swirling wall of fog lay just behind the golden bars of the Gate. Hoseok could only watch with a defeated look in his eyes as his brother opened the right door of the Gate and then turned to look at him.

“Jung Hoseok, you are hereby banished from Aurora under my authority, King Minseok of the Fairy Kingdom. Shall you ever choose to return, you will be greeted with death.” Minseok snarled out his brother’s sentence with such malice it made Hoseok cringe. Then the King turned to the two guards holding Hoseok’s arms and ordered, “Throw him through the Gate.”

Hoseok, whose heart was racing with fear in his chest, didn’t fight the two men at all. As he was forced forward, he shut his eyes tightly and braced himself. He merely accepted his fate as he was pushed harshly into the swirling fog.

Now, Hoseok had never traveled worlds before, so he hadn’t ever experienced what it was like to go through a Gate before.

At first, it felt as if he was falling at a great speed, the breath snatched from his lungs. Then, he suddenly felt himself slow down before dropping onto some sort of hard surface.

Laying on the ground, Hoseok was reluctant to open his eyes. He knew that he must be on Earth now, as Earth was the center of the worlds, but he didn’t know exactly where. He couldn’t hear much besides the ruffling of some leaves in the breeze and birds chirping happily. The temperature was slightly cooler than he was used to, and his attire of matching silk shorts and a shirt certainly didn’t do anything to keep him warm.

Taking in a brave breath, Hoseok opened his eyes and took in the scene before him. He was in a forest lush with tall, green trees. Pretty blue flowers bloomed in patches on the ground, bringing Hoseok a bit of relief. Surely the place couldn’t be too bad if there were beautiful flowers blooming, right?

From Hoseok’s limited knowledge of Earth, he knew that it was the center of the realms and welcomed those of all supernatural backgrounds. While most supernatural beings had their own realm to call home, there were a few that didn’t. Vampires, shapeshifters, and witches lived primarily on Earth. Creatures like jinns, goblins, demons, and yes, fairies, all had their own realm.

Gates only existed between Earth and these worlds, but they were plentiful all across the Earth. Most Gates were situated in Gate Stations (just like a train station) but there were some that were simply situated in the middle of nowhere.

Of course, it appeared that Minseok had to make things even more difficult for his brother by sending him somewhere obscure. Hoseok hadn’t had the chance to see exactly where he was sending him to. A childish move on the older man’s part.

“Well, gosh marbles!” Hoseok shouted into the trees as he stood up and dusted himself off. “What am I going to do now?”

Where was he to go? What was he to do? The Fairy Kingdom was all he had known his whole life.

“E-Excuse me?”

Hoseok yelped with a start at the sudden voice, his head whipping around to find the source. He caught sight of a young-looking man peeking out from behind one of the trees to his left. He had big, curious doe eyes and didn’t appear to be much of a threat, but Hoseok knew from experience not to let his guard down.

“W-Who are you?” he asked, kicking himself when he stuttered.

The young man came out from behind the tree, revealing his all-black ensemble; jeans, a leather jacket, and some army boots. Hoseok remembered reading that fashion was quite different on Earth, but he was still surprised. “I’m Jungkook. Who are you?”

(JKs look) (except no beanie)

“Hoseok,” he replied cautiously.

“Did you just come through the Gate?” Jungkook asked, head tilting towards said Gate right behind Hoseok.

“Yes.”

Jungkook hummed thoughtfully. “No one’s come through that Gate in years.”

“Oh...” Hoseok said intelligently. “Um, could you perhaps tell me where I am?”

“Well, I would assume you at least know that you’re on Earth, but more specifically, you’re just outside of Seoul, South Korea.”

“South Korea...” Hoseok repeated, wracking his brain for anything he knew about this place. He knew that he’d heard of it, but he wasn’t sure where from.

“You’re a fairy, right?” Jungkook asked, rather excitedly. “Many fairies seem to have Korean in their blood. So technically, you’re in your ancient homeland!”

Ah, Hoseok thought, that makes sense. Fairies were rather sheltered about things outside of their own Kingdom, so while Hoseok had heard that they were possibly descendants of Earth’s South Korea, he didn’t know much about it at all.

Hoseok blinked at the smiling young man before him, whose grin and scrunched-up nose made him look uncannily like a rabbit, not to mention his adorable front teeth.

“Ah, sorry!” Jungkook turned a little sheepish. “Ever since my Jimin-hyung came, I’ve really wanted to meet another fairy so badly!”

Hoseok didn’t have time to register that apparently, South Koreans used the same honorifics as fairies, as the more important part of the young man’s statement caught Hoseok’s attention. “You know another fairy?”

“Mhm,” Jungkook nodded his head dutifully, his shaggy dark brown hair bobbing up and down with it. “Jiminie’s color is pink. And he lives with us.”

“Us?”

“Me and my hyungs! There are six of us. We live just a couple miles away from here.” Jungkook answered with a fond smile.

“A pack, huh?” Hoseok gave the young man a once-over when he realized he had no idea what creature Jungkook was. “Are you...human?”

Jungkook shook his head before opening his mouth and pointing at some very tiny but pointy incisors that hadn’t been there a moment ago. “I’m a vampire, like my Yoongi-hyung. I was obviously a human, though, before he saved me.” Jungkook’s smile faded a bit as he seemed to get lost in a memory.

“A little vamp, I see,” Hoseok replied, feeling like he needed to lighten the mood. “How old are you?”

“I’ve been a vampire for seven years, and I was twenty-three when I was turned.” A pretty young vampire then. Hoseok had read about vampires who lived to be thousands of years old.

“Well,” Hoseok began with a gentle smile, “I’m one hundred thirty-eight, so I guess that makes me your hyung.”

Jungkook let out a sigh of relief. “Good, I don’t like being a hyung.”

Hoseok chuckled at the younger’s adorableness before he remembered where he was and what had conspired for him to be here.

Jungkook must have noticed his expression sadden because he gave a little gasp. “Hoseok-hyung, do you need somewhere to stay? I’m sure my hyungs wouldn’t mind housing you for now.”

Hoseok honestly questioned the young man. Who in their right mind invited a total stranger into their home? Jungkook the baby vampire, apparently. Hoseok doubted that he had any nefarious ulterior motives for inviting him, as fairies were fairly good at reading others and he didn’t sense anything from him, but it was strange nonetheless.

However, Hoseok really didn’t have anywhere to go or any money to get a place to stay. He’d been thrown out of the only world he’s ever known and didn’t know what he was supposed to do. And he was tired, just plain tired from the eventful day.

So, he gave the only answer he really could.

“I would love a place to stay, Jungkook-ah.”

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A/N: So...what did you think?

I’ve never written anything in the fantasy genre but I’ve been loving so many fantasy fics lately that I just had to take a try at it. I don’t know much about the specifics of the different supernatural creatures in legends and such, so these will mostly be of my own making, but with some common traits you probably know.

Please do not expect me to update this for a while, as I need to update a few other stories first, but I will not abandon this fic.

I tried to make it clear that Hoseok’s brother, Minseok, has an unstable mentality, and thus feeling like his brother betrayed him over something rather ridiculous and banishing him seemed reasonable to him. 

Please leave comments and likes as they fuel my motivation to write exponentially <3 And if you have any suggestions now or in future chapters for what you would like to see, I would love the ideas and will try to work them into the story (though I don’t have much solidly planned just yet anyways).

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So far we know:

Seokjin - ?

Yoongi - Vampire

Hoseok - Fairy (138)

Namjoon - ?

Jimin - Fairy

Taehyung - ?

Jungkook - Vampire (30)

(I think you’ll meet the others in the next chapter!)

[noirewrites]

Nine Lives

“You and me against the world?” “Forever and always, mon coeur.”

Fandom: Miraculous Tales of Ladybug and Chat Noir

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Warnings: Major Character Death, Mentions of Suicide

Categories: F/M

Pairing: Adrien Agreste/Marinette Dupain Cheng

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Dark clouds loomed overhead, the sharp flashes of thunder and the melodious pitter- patter of the rain surrounding them, as bluebell met emerald green, and something new, something miraculous blossomed in the air....

 A sharp knock broke the boy’s train of thoughts. He quickly composed himself and put on his best smile. Years of modelling sure had their benefits.

“Adrien. Breakfast is ready downstairs.” Natalie said in her usual monotone, her eyes fixed on her tablet. “I will be joining in a minute. Just need to get some stuff together. And uhh…” “Your schedule for today has been cleared. Uh. Are you sure you are fine, Adrien?“ “Natalie, I won’t repeat myself time and again. I am fine.” The boy pinched his nose, sighing in exasperation as he left the room.

 The old father-son picture in the hallway was now replaced by the happy family portrait of three. But, the blonde couldn’t find it in himself to smile. The portrait lacked something, or rather, a special someone.

“Adrien!”

A pair of slender yet strong hands hugged him from behind. “Morning Mom.” The boy returned with a small smile. “How are you feeling, honey?” “Better. I guess.” His eyes flitted back to the portrait, as he subconsciously fiddled with his right ring finger, where some long time ago, a metal band had existed.

Emilie wrapped a comforting arm around her son, knowing all but saying nothing. Not that she had the courage to say anything in the first place. They both stayed like that for a moment or two, then Adrien broke the silence.

 “Father must be waiting. We should go.”

The voice, it wasn’t that of her carefree sunshine child. No. The monotonous voice belonged to the 29 year old man now standing beside her, a man whom she had given birth to but sometimes knew next to nothing about.

 Breakfast took place in a tensed silence. Adrien continued to pick on his food as his parents watched in concern.

“Is something the matter, son?” Gabriel asked, his voice laced with concern. Adrien looked up, and Gabriel could bet his entire fashion empire on the fact that he still saw the raw emotions in those eyes that he saw in them on that fateful day, nine years ago. “Doesn’t concern you, Father.”

 Breaking the stare, the young Agreste got up. “I don’t feel like eating. Maybe some fresh air would help. I will be back soon.” “Take your bodyguard with you.” “Father, please. Not like I have any crazed fans now that I happily left that modelling career years ago. And plus, I am a big man now. I can take care of myself! I don’t need a freaking bodyguard to assist me everywhere!” “But you are an Agreste. You are my son! The world out there is still dangerous for you.”

That was the wrong thing to say. Yep, it surely was. For Adrien’s eyes suddenly narrowed as he spoke in the coldest voice Gabriel ever heard.

“Do I need to remind you of the situation 15 years ago? How some crazy psychopath troubled the entire city for his own selfish needs and how I used to battle him? Risk my life daily?” The boy laughed mirthlessly, ”When my own blood can put me in danger every single day, why should I care for what the outsiders might do? Tell me Father, TELL ME!” But Gabriel was silent. He couldn’t find the words, or maybe the strength to contradict those words.

The boy stalked towards the door, pulling it open. Stepping out, he cast one last scathing glance at the ex-supervillain as he spoke, “And for the last time, I am NOT your son, Gabriel Agreste. Because you and I both know what happened to him, nine years ago.”

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Walking down the streets, it felt like he was having a walk down the memory lane. Paris was adorned in all her glory with red, black and green colors. Today was a day of celebration, a day of liberation. A day that promised hope, that no matter how long the fight lasts, no matter the costs, good will always win over the evil.

The costs…. The blonde couldn’t help but sigh.

His feet automatically took him to the park near his old school. Looking around, Adrien could still find the merry-go-round, the old fountain, the statue….. …It was beautifully decorated. Flowers, gifts, notes of thanks for the cat-bug duo littered the premises near it. People were flocking around, clicking selfies, writing appreciation notes, placing flowers. Children merrily cosplaying and fawning over the red, black and green balloons.

He still remembered, how the unveiling happened, and his stupid boasting of being Ladybug’s special cat to that sculptor…Theo was his name? Maybe. Plagg had teased him days still end about the “special promise” Ladybug had talked to Copycat about…..

…special promise….

 “You and me against the world, milady?” “Forever and always, mon chaton.”

 A tug broke the man out of his thoughts. He looked down, to find a little girl, aged five maybe, dressed up in the cutest Chat Noir costume and looking at him with her big bluebell eyes. Only Ladybug knew how much blue was his favourite colour.

“Yes?” “Uhm, kind sir, I am unable to find a Ladybug for a pic. Can you be my Ladybug please?”

The kitty eyes combined with the kitty costume… Adrien couldn’t help but laugh genuinely. Geez, only another bluebell could have had this effect on her. “Sure, my Kitty Noir, why not? I can’t be your Ladybug, because of the gender issues,” the girl giggled as he comically pointed at himself,” but I can be your Mister Bug.”, he added with a wink. “OOOOH! Mister bug!!! Does that make me the ultra-charming Lady Noir?”, the girl asked, doing a hair flip. “Sure Milady, why not?”, the petname rolled from his tongue with such surprising ease that he himself was shocked. And no matter how much he tried, but he couldn’t ignore the bittersweet taste that accompanied it.

Adrien picked the girl up and put on the Ladybug mask (her mask, his mind supplied) that she gave him. The duo took a set of goofy pictures, all the while the girl happily giggling and trying to put up the best cool “Chat Noir” act.

“Thank You so much Monsieur, Emma won’t give up until she had had her pics.” The girl’s mother said. “No worries at all, Madame. She sure is a sweet bundle of joy. Reminds me of someone with her bubbly nature.” “Ah! I see. I wish the best future for you two.” “Thank you. She means the world to me. And yeah, I look forward to our future.” The blonde smiled happily.

“Sir, keep this as a gift from me for your lady, please?” the girl smiled. Adrien squatted down, ruffling her blonde hair. “I sure will, Purr-incess. She would love it, I know.”

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Standing outside the patisserie, Adrien debated with himself. Should he? Should he not? With a sigh, he pushed the door open. The bell chime informed the owners of a new customer, and took the customer down another memory lane.

 “One passion fruit macroon box set coming right up!” “I wonder, are you on the menu for today, Purr-incess?” “MEEPP! Me- menu- yeah! Why not? I MEAN!! Not like I am on the menu- NAHHHH- The menu’s on me!! Wait….I MEAN!! The treats!! They are on me! As in not on me, but the house, like in the house, but treats on house and uhhhh - YOU GET WHAT I MEANNNNNN!!!”

 “Adrien? Is that you?”

Before the man could reply, he was wrapped up in a massive bear hug. “My boy!! Long time no see!” “Nice to meet you too, Mr. Dupain.” “Just Tom, young man. And oh my, look Sabine! How fit he has become!” The petite woman came up, pinching his cheeks. Adrien noticed her graying blue-black hair… these nine years, yet she still looked so sweet, so homely, so motherly. “He sure has become healthy Tom. Now run upstairs child, there are some people you wanna meet!”, the Asian woman winked.

People he wanna meet?

He walked upstairs with a dread in his heart. It had taken so much courage to face Tom and Sabine, could he meet other people too? Nine years away from everyone, he wasn’t to be blamed. He just……didn’t look forward to meets and greets. Lord, had fourteen-year-old Adrien heard his present self, he surely would have beaten some sense into the older man.

Knocking on the door, the blonde was so busy mentally prepping himself for the impromptu meet that he didn’t notice the red blur of hair that suddenly embraced him with full force.

“OOOF!” “Don’t. You. Dare. Ooof. Me. Sunshine!!”, the red-haired blur, known by all as Alya Cesaire, exclaimed. “Where for the sake of all things magical had you vanished?? Do you know how worried we all were for you? After, after, after…….” “Shh babe, it is all good. We all are finally together. That’s the best.”, Nino, his (former?) best bud said, as he hugged the girl from behind, prying her off the speechless blonde.

The meet and greet was, well, better than what he expected. Meeting old friends did ease his worries. But seeing one blue-black haired guitarist made Adrien rediscover some of the teenage jealousy he believed to have died as soon as his lady became truly his.

But what really moved him was the song Luka played. Everyone found those few strums of the guitar as a beautiful melody. “A wonderful melody that lies unfinished. Maybe forever”, the guitarist himself said. To others, it might seem the guitarist gave up working on that little piece. But a certain blonde knew the real truth.

The melody was so pure, so true, so innocent, so brave and selfless, so her. It healed him, made him look through those happy memories again, and then, made him realise how his life changed from the moment he got that silver yet magical ring in a Chinese box. Or maybe from the time when bluebell eyes clashed with emerald green for the first time, entangling him not only in her yo-yo string, but also her charm and love.

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Walking along the Seine, Adrien made a firm resolution. No matter what happens, he would NOT walk to the Pont des Arts bridge. Nuh-uh. He was sure, his heart cou-

 "My name is André! André! Glacé! The sweetheart matchmaker! With one scoop or two, I'll find up for you with magical ice-cream flavors!"

Damn. Fate has such a funny way of bringing things into play.

 “Another ice-cream thanks to Mr. Ramier, milady. Seriously, my dietician is gonna freak out about how I am gaining these extra carbs from a carbohydrate-free diet!” “Oh! Never knew my kitty was training to keep himself fit.” “Well, I am a cat with many secrets, Buginette. But I would love to share some with you.” “Easy kitty. You know, no identity reveals. Anyways, you are right. Seems like Hawkmoth is desperate enough to reakumatize Mr. Ramier for uhh…. I lost count after thirty-five.” “Geez. At this rate, he is gonna be named the Pigeon-man of Paris. Maybe France. Who knows? The entire world?!”

 Who says only couples can have Andre’s sweetheart ice-cream? And then again, he was a taken guy.

"Strawberry with black chocolate chip! Blackberries for her hair, and blueberry ice- cream just like her sky-blue stare!"

 Looking down the bridge at the Seine, the blonde remembered his first concert that he had had there with the Kitty Section. His eyes travelled along the railings and…..

Voila! There it was!

Hidden among an array of multi-coloured locks, the special lock of the Lucky Duo of Paris. The yin and the yang, the cat and the ladybug. Red with green polka dots, one of a kind. Just like those who locked it there.

He fondly remembered that Valentine’s day. The kiss they had shared as they locked the symbol of their eternal love to the bridge. The fireworks display behind the lit-up Eiffel Tower, their second home. But he remembered the most the love, the adoration, the happiness in those bluebell eyes of his coccinelle….the love and adoration for him, a meagre alley cat who basked in her presence.

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Getting out of the pharmacy, Adrien made his way to the local coffee shop. He had seen posters of UMS 7, and instantly was reminded of how a certain bluenette had handed him his butt on a silver platter multiple times when it came to gaming. Yeah, he had a few victories in his share too, but uhm,

 “You cheated by distracting me! You are too distracting to handle while playing!”

 Well, whatever.

The girl at the counter smiled at him. “The usual two bitter coffees, sir?”

Ah….bitter coffee.

 “Purr-incess!!! What about you? If not you, then what about me? Who will I cuddle with to sleep if you keep working all night?” “Nuh-uh chaton, no pulling up the kitty eyes with me. I need to finish this project. It is due-“ “Next Wednesday. And you already completed like 75% of it! Come on, pleaseee?” “Last time, I paw-mise. And I won’t sleep on my workdesk I swear!” Yet, the next morning, he would be the one to wake a truly exhausted designer up from her workdesk and give her her regular dose of bitter caffeine while he himself savoured his sweet delight.

 “Uh, sir?” “Ah! Sorry. Make it one bitter and one sweet please. With extra sugar.”

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With the sun setting behind him as pink clouds floated in the sky, Adrien finally arrived to his destination.

 Her.

 The grass was damp, yet the homely feeling it gave, it was just....unmatchable. He felt safe, wanted, loved. Just like those past old days. Reaching the solitary elm, away from everyone else, he settled himself down in front of her. This place, in the lap of nature, with chirping birds and her favorite flowers, had been their meeting place for the last nine years. A place no one, not even their parents or friends, knew about, it was their tiny precious secret, just the two of them. And as usual, she sat there, waiting for him with open arms and her precious smile and laughter. She was the light of his darkness, the beautiful morning of his endless night, the Miraculous Ladybug to his Chat Noir.

He sat down gently, laying the purple pansies and roses down beside her.

"Here milady, these flowers brought to you by your alley cat along with your signature mask to adorn your beauty. And your favorite bitter coffee. I don't know why you still like it, and yeah, I admit I developed a taste for it too...but nope, today I have my sweet delight with me. Ha! Sweetness always wins hearts, whether you agree or not, my cupcake."

A gentle breeze brushed his cheek, making him smile. "You liked those pics and the kiss, Bugaboo? I am glad. I brought these today. Our last few memories..." Saying so, he placed the lucky charm, the scarf and the derby hat beside the game controller that had laid there as it is for three years. And then, beside the beautiful stone, he laid the first symbol of their love, the black umbrella.

 His hand brushed against the hard stone, over the soft words written over it.

"Hair as dark as night, her pretty bluebell eyes, Used to wonder who she was, beneath that strong disguise. Everyday we met each other, and one day she became mine. Together our love is so true, here lies my Valentine."

 Eyes wet with emotions, the blonde reached with a shaky hand for the heart-shaped card, the one he still carried with him till date. It was the epitome of her love for him, the only memory of her sweet voice that he held fast to.

"Your hair shines like the sun, your eyes a gorgeous green. I look at you and wonder, your innermost thoughts and dreams. Yes, your Valentine I would be, together our love would be so true. And for eternity, my heart belongs to you."

 My heart belongs to you... ..heart belongs to you.. ..belongs to you...

"CHAT!! Snap out of it!!" But he couldn't. His world was falling apart. Literally. There lay, Emilie Agreste, his Mom, in a glass coffin...

"I am doing this for my wife, all I want is to make her come back. And that can be done only by the Ultimate Wish. Mayura... she is down because of the same curse of the peacock brooch that makes Emilie lie here. And I will do anything for my son!"

Emilie Agreste... ...Wife of Gabriel Agreste... ....father of... ...Adrien Agreste.. ..aka him... ...aka Chat Noir... ..aka superhero of Paris.. ..and the wielder of bad luck.

Was bad luck supposed to be this bad?

The next events, total blur. His messed up thoughts, Ladybug's continued assurances and tries to get him in fight. But who could have managed a fight after such a revelation? All he remembered was him and Marinette lying detransformed on the ground, as Fath- HAWKMOTH! put on the earrings and the ring. Calling on the ultimate power, there was a flash and then... ...where Hawkmoth once stood now stood an ethereal being. Black and white like the yin and the yang.

"WHAT DO YOU DESIRE? DO YOU KNOW THAT YOUR WISH HAS A PRICE? THIS IS A FOREBODING! THINK BEFORE YOU STEP!!" "I, Gabriel Agreste, desire for the return of my wife, Emilie Agreste. And for her return, I am willing to pay any price!" "SO SHALL IT BE!"

There was a bright flash, and Adrien heard a distinctive "NO!" before he felt something.

It was... ...tiredness. Extreme tiredness. Like he wanted to sleep. And never wake up.

But someone was there waiting for him. Someone who was calling out to him.

"-IEN! OPEN YOUR EYES, YOU SILLY CAT! ADRIEN!!!" Bluebell gaze filled his view, reducing his tiredness a bit. His eyes flitted over to see Marinette holding the shining black-white ribbon connected to him, as she...glowed?

Were normal people supposed to glow? Wait...what was happening?!

Everything started making sense as the ribbon coiled around his girlfriend, removing his tiredness instantly as she fell into his lap, her eyes drowsy with sleep.

"Mi-Milady? Buginette? Purr-incess?"

She softly cupped his cheek,"You mean the world to me, mo-mon chaton. No matter what happens, I will be th-there for you. Always and forev-ever. Be it as a bre-breeze, as a melody, as a hap-happy tear you get from our memory."

"No, no, no. This- This can't be...NO! Why? Why? WHY??" "You deserve th-this happy lif-life Chat-rien. You deserve this." "Bu-But..."

"Shhh kitty. Your la-lady ain't leaving you. I will alw-always be there, waiting...on the other side. Toge-Together our love, so true, so pure...My heart fur-ever belongs..to you only, mon chaton. Just you. Je t'aime kitty. I, Lad-ladybug, decla-are Adr-adrien Agreste as th-the new gu-guardian of the mira-raculous box."

A flash, a thunder....but he didn't mind them. His lady was here, in pain, slipping away from him.... no, she-she had to know that, that no matter what, he, he...

"Je-je t'aime milady, je t'aime."

But his words fell on deaf ears....

 "You know milady? Paris didn't just lose her Ladybug that day. She also lost her black cat. But not in one go..."

Leaning against the stone, Adrien looked up at the now inky black sky as he sipped his coffee. "They say a Ladybug lives short and lucky, the black cat grieves her parting for nine lives. These nine years, they have been hell milady. I don't belong here, but had to spend these all without you by my side. Luck of a black cat." He chuckled mirthlessly.

"Every year, I lost one life. Starting from that fateful day. My first life....already gone with you. And guess what milady? The nine years end today."

Gazing at his coffee mug, he thought of Tom, Sabine, Alya, Nino, his friends...his mom, his....no. His father was not there. All that remained was Hawkmoth. The murderer of the love of his life, the selfish man who was the shell of his father. Would they miss him?

Well, seeing him here with the prescription of sleeping pills, it won't take a genius to decipher what happened....

As eternal sleep started to do its magic on him, Adrien laid himself on the grass beside his love, toppling over the bitter coffee mug. Watching the brown liquid seep through the grass to the raven-haired beauty lying peacefully six feet beneath, the blonde finally succumbed to the magic of the peaceful sleep, dreaming of bluebell gazes and starry skies spent above the entire city of love.

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Dark clouds loomed overhead, the sharp flashes of thunder and the melodious pitter- patter of the rain surrounding him... ...but this time, the rain didn't bring him any joy. For he was left alone, stranded in the rain and the gloom.

Stretching his hand out to feel the rain, the boy muttered, "Luck of a black cat." "Nullified by a cocinelle", a sweet voice replied.

 Shocked emerald met ecstatic bluebell as something old, yet miraculous re blossomed in the air..

 "Mi-milady?" "I told you chaton, I would be waiting for you."

He looked at the black umbrella she held between them two. The symbol of their eternal love.

 "You and me against the world, Purr-incess?"

"Forever and always my prince, Forever and always."

[dyingtoseehowthisonends]

My Rep Room Story (Meeting Taylor Swift)

ITS FINALLY HERE! YES THIS IS REAL HAHA.

I also filmed a video and in that you can see what Taylor did and the way she sounded more than just me describing it so you can find that here. The video is more general and this has literally every detail that happened haha. (xx)

I bolded the part where I meet Taylor and Chicago night two. So if you don’t want to read the details and don’t want to watch the video, skip to the bolded parts. 

This is really really really really long so be prepared.

So I woke up on Friday at 7:00am which is so unusual for me because I like staying up and sleeping in but I was just so excited for the show. I only got maybe 5-6ish hours of sleep. I stayed on my phone for maybe an hour and started getting ready by 8:00-8:30am. I first curled my hair and then ate something and did my makeup. I also fixed my nails. I had done them the night before but it was sparkly gold polish and I put these little star glitters on them that weren’t necessarily meant for your nails haha so some fell off by that morning so I just replaced them. I also ordered gold star tattoos from amazon to make a 13 on my hand (you can see it in my picture with Taylor). That was the last thing I did before Adia and her mom came and picked me up at around 3:30-3:40pm. Honestly it felt like it took us a while to get there but when I look at the time stamp on my pictures we were already in line to take pictures with the throne by 4:40pm. When we got to Solider Field we parked and the two people who parked next to us recognized Adia from Twitter which was crazy! We took pictures with them and stayed in the parking lot for a little bit just getting everything together and ready (Adia and I had two posters and her mom had 1 so we had a lot to carry with us). While this was happening a security person asked if she could take a photo of us because she loved everything we had on! We also asked if she could get one on Adia’s phone which she tweeted and TN later retweeted once we were in the stadium around 6:00pm. So we walk to gate 0 and that’s where the getaway shop was and surprisingly there was no line whatsoever. The workers actually looked bored. I just wanted to get a rep Chicago patch to take pictures with inside the stadium so that’s exactly what I got. I planned on getting everything else I wanted after the show online because you get a 20% off discount code in an email and it takes it off each individual item. Also if you buy more than $50 you get free shipping and I knew I’d be paying more than that so I ended up using that and getting the tour book, the poster, the flag, and the black long sleeve shirt with the cut outs on the arms. Anyways, so at the getaway shop we met up with David and Jords who I only met a little bit before that week from a groupchat on twitter but Adia had been friends with them for a while now and so they saw us and ran and hugged adia first of course and slightly cracked the top of her icee poster but it’s okay because it was out of pure joy and love and it still looked fine lol. Kaitlyn also came up to us and everything and we talked and then David and Jords were like, “we need to go check out the line,” and we were so confused and reluctant but let them go of course. And I thought about how Taylor liked David’s post on tumblr that week and I thought “I think he’s getting pre show right now” so we then got in line for the throne which wasn’t too long but we still had to wait but so many of our friends were in line or people from twitter so it was fun and David and Jords came back and they had the pre-show m&g paper with them and we all started freaking out saying we knew it and we were so happy for them and congratulating them.  It was amazing. So then we met Darcy and Rafael and my friend Chloe and so many others and we took so many pictures and we finally got some with the throne as well and then we went to wait in line to get in because at that point it was almost 5:00pm, the time the gates opened. While we were waiting Last Kiss started playing and we were singing along to it and ow my heart. So we finally get in which was around 5:30pm and we went straight to the field and as soon as we walk in and I saw how big the stage was I literally started crying. Guys the stages are so big and I really didn’t expect it and our seats turned out to be so close and the closer we walked towards the stage the more emotional I got because I had never been that close and our seats were so good. If you’re wondering, we were in the section on the side of the stage behind the side pit. It was on the same side as club Meredith and we could see it and the people in it from our seats. We were in the last row so we had so much room to dance and it was where everyone from backstage walked from. I highly recommend these seats for anyone especially if you want to dance all crazy and what not.  We actually didn’t go straight away to our seats. We took a lot of pictures and we also met a bunch of people so we were just walking around at this point. HERE’S WHERE THE ORDER GETS FUZZY. I swear everything happened I’m just not 1000% sure in what order after this point. We did eventually check our seats but it was just for a bit and I think we started walking around again and we met more people. This was around the time when Taylor Nation retweeted that picture of us from the parking lot that said WE ARE HERE. We started freaking out and going through the rest of their retweets and noticed the girls dancing a few rows ahead of us had been retweeted too! So we went over there and told them and they knew but we all talked and took a picture and they actually flew from Texas. They were really nice. After a bit more of walking around we went back to our seats and stayed there pretty much the rest of the night. So like I said I don’t remember the order this happened but it all happened before/during the opening acts. We saw papa swift thousands of times. They first time was when we first walked in and he was on his Segway. We think we scared him off because we kind of screamed and he turns around and goes backstage again haha. The next time, I think he came out to take a picture with some girls who had been waiting there for a long time and Adia actually took the picture and I was standing next to her and he had to go (so no pics with him for us) but he gave the girl in the picture like 800 picks to pass around to everyone who basically crowded the area. I saved two picks for myself and gave the extra ones to those who didn’t get any.  Throughout the rest of the night he kept going from backstage to club Meredith a lot so one time he waved at us, another time he high fived us, and other times he just smiled. We also met Paul and Adia got to tell him that she first saw him and Taylor perform together 8 years ago and we both got a picture with him. He was super nice and took his time with all the fans. We also ended up seeing Melanie and we said hi and waved at her. We also saw Tree! The first time she just walked past us and smiled because she was on the phone but then she went backstage and she saw Adia’s icee costume and pointed and said “I love that.” We kind of freaked out because she wasn’t stopping to talk to anyone. I also spotted Martha Hunt and Ashley but I wasn’t 100% sure if it was her and I wanted to say hi but they were kind of far and not looking around them so I just left it alone. The last person we met who walked past this area was Andrea! It was during Bad Reputation right before Taylor came out. I was filming myself to get my reaction before Taylor came on so I had my camera out already and we went up to her and Adia gave her the no it’s Debbie shirt and she laughed and it was so adorable so that’s the video I got that I posted. I then took a picture of her and Adia with the shirt and it was taking a long time cause my phone kind of froze and I showed them and I thought no she won’t have time to stop and get a picture with me but she actually came up to me after and asked if I wanted one and I said yes and she was so patient and nice to every fan and I just love her a lot okay? By the time we met Andrea it was already 8:55pmish. During the opening acts we waved the go go go signs around a lot and Charlie actually pointed or waved at us and the entire time we were dancing and standing and talking to people who were coming up to us. I didn’t sit down in my seat the entire night. So then Taylor comes on around 9:05ish and we all lose our shit of course. And during I did something bad Taylor pointed at us and broke character a little and we freaked out. Everyone was saying how they could see our signs the whole night so I have hope Taylor saw it more times as well and it made me happy people could see them cause that was our intention and we were scared that without lights no one would notice. But the rest of the night we just danced like crazy and it was perfect because like I said before our seats gave us the room to do so. I cried like an actual baby during DWOHT because it’s my favorite song and really meant a lot that I was hearing live for the first time. Oh I almost threw up during Shake It Off because I was dancing so much no joke. She played Our Song as the surprise song and it was so much fun and I really wanted her to play it sometime this tour so I was really happy I was there to hear it. Omg I also did the 1 2 3 lets go bitch thing during delicate BUT I MESSED IT UP AND WAS TOO EXCITED AND DID IT TOO EARLY WHY AM I LIKE THIS. It’s okay because I did it right the second night haha. 

Getting Rep Room

Okay so then Taylor is walking through the crowd or about to play the second b-stage and we couldn’t see any of that from our seats so we were kind of waiting for what’s next and Jords runs over and whispers something to Adia and I knew I needed to be ready for something and then Adia and I start running, following him. I thought for a second he was taking us to the b-stage but he was also saying stuff like “You’re going to meet Taylor tonight” to us earlier and we were like no stop we can’t get our hopes up but I was like maybe it’s going to happen now. So he takes us to Andrea who was like behind club Meredith and he puts his hands on Adia’s shoulders and says something along the lines of this girl deserves to get rep room or meet Taylor. I couldn’t hear it very well so I don’t entirely remember what he said. And So Mama swift asks Adia how long she’s been a fan but Taylor’s singing blank space and so I go and record myself singing my url and I danced a little with Jords and David then I heard Adia call my name and she said go get my mom and so I ran and didn’t even stop to tell her anything I just made a hand gesture saying come here and she saw and she was like oh no but what about the bags but she came anyways and I started running but stopped to look back and make sure she was coming and knows where to go. We get back there and mama swift is talking to someone else and Adia’s mom goes and talks to Adia and I do the blank space loop with Jords and David again haha and then I saw mama swift was talking to Adia again and went over and she said to Adia’s mom, “you’re her mom? You look like you could be her sister” and I died because mama swift just said that to my friends mom and it’s true. And then she asks again how long Adia’s been a fan and Adia says 12 years and then she says some stuff and adia replies but I couldn’t hear it but then she goes have you ever met Taylor? And we go no and she asks again you’re never ever met Taylor and we go no never and I don’t remember what she said but something along the lines of well you are tonight or give them the wristbands you are now or something like that haha. So then the girl from Taylor Nation puts the wristbands on all of us and I ask if I could give her a hug and she says yes which I was really happy about and so I did and after that oh man we were just freaking out and everyone was hugging us and congratulating us and we didn’t go back to our seats right away and Taylor had finished dress and was leaving the b-stage but apparently there was something wrong with the snake skeleton that night and so she had to walk through the crowd to get back to the main stage and once I realized what was going on I jumped to the side and held my hand out and Taylor touched it and I lost it again because she just touched my hand and I was meeting her after the show. So we don’t remember anything about don’t blame me or bad blood and should’ve said no and when she started playing long live and new year’s day we were absolute messes and I think I kept saying stuff like I get to meet her after this I get to actually meet her. So the rest of the show was crazy and we sang go go go so loud and shook the signs a lot but taylor was on the opposite side of the stage but anyways I cried a lot and when the show ended we immediately found stairs to go to the 100 level to find the section we needed to be in for rep room. We were basically on the opposite side of the stadium so we were running and pushing through the crowd to get there. Once we did there was almost everyone there already and I noticed that a lot of the girls we were talking to earlier in the show were picked too which was amazing! A lot of people told me later that they walked past us and were really happy to see that we got rep room but the first person to come up to us was Kaitlyn! She asks “why are you standing here” and Adia answers “because we’re meeting Taylor!” and she gives out the loudest yell and hugs us and was so supportive and I love her haha. Then they had us sit down at the top of the section on our slip of paper. This guy came over and said “if you don’t have a wrist band or an orange slip you should leave now you are wasting your time.” Then we had to basically show them our wristbands and they would move us to sit down further in the section with our groups. I think they wanted to see who was with who and obviously confirm if we have the wristband. I think this is when these girls in the row in front of us asked the girls next to us if they could join their group because they weren’t chosen and the girls were like no we don’t want to get in trouble which I fully supported and the girls gave them a dirty look and later left. We end up getting moved down of course and then someone from Taylor Nation passes an iPad around and you put in your email, zip code, name, and phone number. After its almost gotten to everyone the girl from Taylor nation who put the wristbands on us started telling everyone the rules. I knew them already because I have a lot of friends who were chosen at other shows and I love reading stories about people who have met Tay so I just sort of knew haha. But at one part she was trying to emphasis how each group can only get one photo and she points to 4 of us because there was a girl on the end next to us who we had made like mini friends with who sat with us and we said no its just us 3 and she goes oh yes I remember you 3 and smiles and then right away goes back to like strict I’m-being-all-serious-while-telling-you-these-rules mood and was like 1 picture and goes on. So after that she goes up to the top and repeats it to those who couldn’t hear and we were fixing our makeup and stuff and I was on Twitter and Julia was DMing me advice which I appreciated so much. She’s so kind. And all I did was wipe off my smudged eyeliner and mascara because I didn’t want to have raccoon eyes in my pic lol but I didn’t try to reapply anything because in that moment I was the happiest I’ve ever been and I wanted that to show in my picture with Tay. 

Inside Rep Room

So then they start taking us to the rep room and we go down to the floor and I don’t remember where through the stadium we went because we were discussing what we wanted our pose to be and all agreed on one. It was a super short walk and when we got there, there was a table where we had to put all of our stuff on besides a phone or camera. So all I had with me in the rep room was my phone. Then we started going in. It was 11:37pm at this point. I immediately started taking as many pictures as possible because I knew this was a once and a lifetime opportunity and never wanted to forget any of it but we walk in get a picture on the couch in the middle with the two snakes wrapping around the pole with the lights. Then we went and got something to drink. There was room temperature water, cold water, coke, diet coke, sprite, and I thought I saw a Gatorade or some fruit juice as well but I could be wrong. I was still taking tons of pictures and Adia and her mom got in line for the original LWYMMD snake throne. I was taking all of the pictures because my phone camera had the best quality. There was pizza and cookies (but like normal cookies not the rep decorated ones) and I used to always say if I got picked for loft or whatever I’d totally eat pizza and what not, but guys I couldn’t eat anything. I found out this weekend that when I’m in shock I can’t eat. Adia’s mom stays in line while Adia and I go back out to take pictures in front of the entrance and of the costumes which were the delicate dress, rainbow dress, the fuzzy black rep one piece from LWYMMD, and the red dress from LWYMMD. I got a really good picture of them so I was really happy. And guys like if we haven’t gone and taken pictures of other things during that time we wouldn’t have been able to because we weren’t in there for that long before Taylor came and started meeting everyone. I checked and we had 10 minutes to do all of that. So we got our pictures with the throne finally and we got Polaroid’s of them too. And then I sat down on one of the couches. There was  3 of them not including the circular one in the middle. And it was like next to the curtained area where Taylor would be and where we’d meet her but I didn’t realize that and I was all the way on the other end of the couch. I just sat down and honestly in my brain I was thinking back to when Taylor posted those Instagram videos of the rep room and I couldn’t believe we were actually in it and that it was all real. A little while after that someone from Taylor Nation said okay guys no phones, put them away and so we did. But guys I was in so much shock I put my phone down for a bit and LITERALLY FORGOT I wasn’t supposed to have it out anymore and took some more selfies. That was at like 11:58pm. I was just in this mode to be as productive as possible to not forget anything but then I stopped and put my phone down and realized omg I wasn’t supposed to do that and was so thankful no one saw or at least didn’t say anything lol. I genuinely didn’t mean to do it. So before I go on I need to explain the state I was in. I was in so much shock that I couldn’t process anything in the moment and I couldn’t really plan a reaction or think through a reaction. So everything I was doing at this point was like my first instinct and what my brain told me to do right away. I had like hoped for this moment and daydreamed about it for so long that I knew I should say everything I can and be present in the conversations. So that’s how I was feeling and reacting and not processing anything. Maybe a minute later, a girl from Taylor Nation says okay guys and a moment pasts and I remember seeing someone hold the curtain and it was Taylor but there was like a moment before she opened it but was still holding onto it and then when she did she does like a dramatic open of it and this cute little jump or lean and goes, “Hey guys!” with a big smile on her face and people claps and stuff but like I was in so much shock I didn’t react at all. Oh and keep in mind I was sitting down for this part okay. Then she goes on and says, “My mom tells me we have a really good group here tonight” and she moves on and introduces Martha and Ashley. “This is Martha Hunt she was in the Bad Blood music video and this is Ashley,” and when she’s introducing Ashely she like messes up her hair in the cutest way cause Ashley is a lot shorter than her and says “we’ve been friends for a really really long time,” and is looking at her and sort of laughing as if they have some inside joke and it was so cute. And she continues and I don’t remember who did it but they pull all of the curtains back and show us these people and Taylor says, “and like my whole family is here, uncles, aunts, cousins, everyone came and so I’ll unleash them to you guys and..” said something about seeing us later or inside the curtained area. And guys remember how I was sitting down I was somehow standing by that point. I don’t remember standing up at all and when I was watching her, she still didn’t seem real like the best way I could describe her, because she’s literally so perfect looking and flawless in real life, is a moving wax figure like no joke so I was in so much shock in that moment. But then right away Taylor Nation calls out FIRST GROUP and we were close to the curtain but not right in front of it. So Martha was like directly in front of me and I wanted to say something and this was just the first thing that popped into my mind, “Oh we saw you guys earlier I wanted to say hi but you were kind of far so I just left it” and she goes “oh was it at the beginning of the show or the end” and I like couldn’t think in the moment so I was like “ummmm I’m pretty sure it was in the beginning” and I don’t know where Adia was at that moment but Adia’s mom was next to me and Martha goes “oh you’re the one who dressed as champagne” and Adia’s mom goes “yeah!” and says something else and Martha goes “oh we were talking about you backstage” and Adia’s mom goes “really?” And my mouth dropped because I don’t know why it never occurred to me that they didn’t talk about fans backstage until this moment haha. And Martha goes “yeah we were like someone dressed up as champagne” and I think she got cut off or something happened where mama swift comes up to us and Martha moves on so no I didn’t get a picture with her but she was awesome and so willing to talk to us like you could tell she liked meeting everyone in the room. But anyways Mama Swift comes up to us and there’s a coffee table next to the couch we were just sitting at and she’s trying to get to us and she goes, “I need to move this, let’s move this, I need to be closer to you” which number one QUEEN for just moving the coffee table and number two she wanted to be close to us and ow my heart hurts I literally love Andrea so much. So then Adia’s mom says something like “Thank you for your daughter..” and I don’t remember what else but I added “she’s done so much for us” and I put my hands on my chest and Andrea goes “Well to be fair, Taylor made it easy for me” and I died again cause like Taylor really is self-made. She really does pride herself in holding herself accountable for what she does and her character and that’s something I’ve loved so much about her for so long. I still don’t know where Adia is right now but Andrea asks if we want a picture and Adia shows up lol and we were like yeah and someone from Taylor Nation was there already with a polaroid camera and took it but something was like wrong with it so Andrea was like here take it on her phone and so I hand her my phone and we got it on there too cause our polaroid did end up coming up haha so yeah. But right after that Taylor Nation calls out NEXT GROUP and mama swift goes you’re next and sort of pushes us into the gates of heaven haha jk but seriously. And apparently mama swift asks Adia if she wants a selfie right before going in and she does but I had hugged Taylor already at this point so I don’t remember that but Adia has the selfie so yeah that happened too. 

Meeting Taylor

And yeah so Adia’s mom walks in first, then I do, and then Adia went in last and she hugged each of us. I need to stress this again, especially the moments when we met Taylor, I really don’t remember the order that well but I’m going to try and say it in the order I think it happened in. So Adia brought her icee sign in to show Taylor of course and Taylor looks at it and does this cute like “ohhhhh” sounding thing. Watch my video you’ll totally get it. linked at the bottom of this. And she goes something like “that’s great” and then adia takes it off cause she didn’t want it in the picture right and Taylor says something like “oh is this a 1989 look we have going on here” and Adia goes “yeah and you know the top is from my prom dress” and Taylor says something which leads to her saying “you cut your prom dress?!” all innocent and cute and me and Adia kind of hesitant for a second cause we don’t want to tell Taylor she’s wrong haha and it was like a delayed reaction right and we go “no it’s a two piece, it’s a crop top” like hello Taylor you’re the queen of crop tops you should know this haha. And she goes “oh oh okay” and then I tell her that my prom dress was wall sparkly gold and that I used this eyeshadow called snakebite and she goes “Wow you’re so detail orientated” I’m DEAD at this point and then I think Adia says “oh by the way thanks for planning all of this on the weekend of my graduation” and we all kind of go “yeah she graduates on Sunday” and Taylor goes “well we did that on purpose, people tell me I’m very calculated about these things” AND I FREAK OUT CAUSE YES BITCH YOU ARE and I think I laughed my reactions were so dumb to be honest. Like a lot of it was just me reacting to stuff in my head how I would online or something but my face probably looked surprised or stupid haha. And then I think Adia’s mom mentioned songwriting and then Adia said something about it and then I segwayed into the song I wrote for taylor and said, “I wrote a song for/about you” and I stop to say “I don’t write them to be anything I just write them for myself” and the look on her face you guys she looked so appreciative of that and was like “that’s amazing” and I go on and say “yeah I wrote one for you. it’s on my tumblr and I say dyingtoseehowthisonends and they share the e” BUT I FORGOT TO SAY WHICH WORDS SHARE THE E AND SHE LOOKED CONFUSED AND OMG I WAS A MESS and I continue like “oh if you ever want to check it out it would mean a lot to me and she says thank you in like the cutest tone and wow I never thought I’d live to see a day where Taylor Swift thanked me for writing a song about her like what???? But yeah I don’t think she’s seen it lol so if y’all want you should reblog it for me but anyways. Then I think Adia’s mom goes and says something like “oh my son got a grand slam tonight” and Taylor says “wow everything is happening for you guys isn’t it” and she goes and high fives all of us and I swear guys I thought she was only going to high five Adia’s mom but when she came to me and I realized it was happening I like just shot my hand up really quick I didn’t even have time to clap back haha. So yeah Taylor Swift high fived me moving on… then Adia and her mom asked about the cats! And Taylor goes “oh you know their really fluffy (or fuzzy I don’t remember which one she said)” and I go “that’s important” cause I’m lame and my brain was like REACT. Adia’s mom also says “this one,” she points at Adia, “got me into to you by listening to Breathe. I thought it was going to be some high school musical stuff...” and Taylor goes “Well it very high school and VERY musical” and I die and say something dumb like “no but we love it!” which why would I say that I don’t know but I did haha. And I don’t remember how we got into it but I go “Taylor” to like get her attention because I was going to tell her about how much DWOHT and CIWYW mean to mean and I don’t know why I did this but I put both my hands out facing down and she starts FREAKING PLAYING WITH THEM LIKE CLAPPING THEM LIKE A PATTY CAKE SORT OF THING AND I DIED INSIDE CAUSE THAT WAS THE CUTEST THING EVER.  And I like look at our hands and I’m like omg what is she doing I was in so much shock at literally everything she did. And I have this moment where I almost forgot what I was going to say but my brain was like NO YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER THIS THIS IS THE ONLY CHANCE YOU GET DON’T  BLOW IT  and so I remembered and I said “I love DWOHT so much” and she goes “well I’m glad I sang it tonight” with a cute little laugh and I don’t even know how I reacted I was just focused on what I was trying to tell her and I continue on “I love it so much and it helped me get through a lot this past year” and that’s the only time I looked away from her was when I said a lot cause I was trying not to cry and to emphasis it and I keep going, “and CIWTW” and I like show her my dress and like hold it out to be like see this is the reason for my dress and say “gives me so much hope that I can be happy like you one day” and She fucking starts giving me advice and like this whole tour speech okay it was like a clean speech no joke and she goes “you know we’ll never feel one emotion all the time, there’s still days when I wake up and go ugh everybody hates me” and Adia’s mom points at Adia and says “omg that’s her” and Taylor like looks at both of them and nods her head like yeah I totally relate to that and she looks back at me, and y’all she’s looking right at me meaning every single word that’s coming out of her mouth and at this point she grabbed my hands and is holding them and goes, “but you can be fulfilled. Like right now I’m fulfilled with my life” AND Y’ALL SHE REALLY IS DOING BETTER THAN SHE EVER WAS. And this means so much to me now and after it all happened I just kept thinking about this and thinking about how fulfilled I was that night and it literally changed my view of life I can’t believe this. Also I’ve decided I’m getting the little heart she makes on her signature as a tattoo with the word fulfilled on my wrist bye.  I think I said something like “thank you” after that even though it doesn’t make sense to but I did and I’m pretty sure then she goes “okay let’s get a picture?” and guys I didn’t realized it cause I was so focused on Taylor and trying to remember everything about her and memorize what her face looked like and everything that I never acknowledged Taylor Nation in the background this whole time going “let’s get a picture” and Adia’s mom said they really only asked twice so hopefully I didn’t seem rude lol. But yeah we go to pose and somehow Taylor just did the pose we wanted. We really didn’t need to tell her and I asked if I could hold her hand and she said sure and she grabs my right hand and she warns us like “guys the flash is really bright be prepared” and I was really thankful she did cause otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to prepare and make sure I kept my eyes open haha cause I have really small eyes that are sensitive to light so I’ve taken some bad pictures with flash and I wanted my picture with Taylor to be perfect  and OMG GUYS SHE THEN LEANS HER HEAD ON MINE (which is all I ever wanted and I would legitimately get anxiety thinking about if taylor didn’t lean her head on mine in our picture together like what I would do) BUT SHE DOES and her hair falls in my face and I have this mini panic moment cause I was like no her hair can’t be in my face for the picture haha and so I like gently move it with my face lol and they took it and right after she hugs Adia like a hug goodbye and I was kind of behind her cause of how we posed and the face she made when she hugged Adia was so precious and guys her face was literally inches from mine and I just starred at her and she had this really pretty gold eyeshadow on and I just starred and if she had opened her eyes in that moment she would probably think I was really creepy haha. But then they pull apart and Taylor Nation said we need to get another one and Taylor says “oh guys it was probably me, I probably blinked it wasn’t you” and I was like NO TAYLOR YOU’RE FLAWLESS STOP IT in my head right. So we go to pose again but this time it was a lot faster and all I remembered about taking this second picture is she was holding my other hand that actually had my 13 on it (so I’m like really glad we got to take another one) but it was fast so she wasn’t holding my whole hand she was like grabbing it with her two fingers and guys it meant a lot that she even did that. She knew I wanted to hold her hand and she made sure to do so in some way and that meant a lot to me. I think my other hand was on her shoulder and hers was on mine but I don’t remember I can only guess based on my picture. But yeah so then we’re leaving and I was the last one out and I’m like stepping out the door and I look back and I didn’t think she was going to say anything else and she goes, omg I cry every time I think about this, she goes, “You’re so beautiful” in the most genuine and sincerest tone I’ve ever heard in my life and she’s like nodding her head and I don’t think I even said anything back because I wasn’t expecting that and just kept walking but omg. Adia and her mom didn’t even hear it cause they were already out of the room and it was like this little moment we shared together and wow I seriously was like I’ll never think I’m ugly ever again because Taylor Swift just called me beautiful, mind you I had glitter all over my face from holding the posters over my head all night and I completely cried off all my makeup and ugh omg I still can’t believe she said that to me. And I think either I was handed the autographed prints or Adia’s mom was but she handed them to me so she could give all of us our phones and the polaroid’s and what not cause when you’re in there someone from Taylor Nation takes it for you. And so then I distributed the autographs and they realized Adia left her polaroid from the throne in the rep room and they asked someone when the next person came through (which wasn’t that long after like we definitely had a good 5 minutes if not more with her cause there was no way we said all of that and took two pictures in less than 5 minutes I swear) and he said he would try and find it but later he just said he couldn’t even though Adia knew exactly where it was which we understood. He had a job he was doing and Taylor has to get out of the stadium at a certain time and it was good because we also took photos on my phone on of her on the throne so she could always print that out on a Polaroid. But anyways yeah when we got back out to where the table was with our stuff Scott was talking to a fan who had went before us and we went and grabbed our stuff and when I started picking up the posters and my bag that’s when it hit me that she called me beautiful and I just met Taylor Swift. I like didn’t want to cry in front of the security guards so I just like breathed rapidly a lot trying to keep my cool. This whole time I was in so much shock. And we asked how to go to the parking lot and it was like a real quick walk to the getaway shop which was on our way and we took a picture with it closed and kept going. So for a time frame this all happened in the spam of 15 minutes. When I look at the time stamps on my phone we took that picture with mama swift at 12:05am and we were at the getaway shop by 12:20am. It literally felt like an hour though I’m not kidding so even though we didn’t have that much time with Taylor it felt like we did and I’m so happy about that. But yeah so I’m thinking we had like 7 minutes with her and like maybe 8 to leave something like that. But anyways we drive to Adia’s Aunt’s house because it’s close to the city and the whole time and the whole night we were just in so much shock and we just kept talking about what happened and it helped me remember everything and Adia would say something and I would be like oh yeah she did this or said this! I also posted a picture of me with my rep room pass on tumblr and TAYLOR FUCKING LIKED IT AND I DIED I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW SHE WAS ON.This is also when I got locked out of my twitter account and I’m still waiting to get it back so there’s that as well. But yeah we stayed up till 4:00am because we just couldn’t sleep and kept talking about everything thing.

So that’s it for the night we met Taylor and technically we met her on June 2nd but I’ll still be staying June 1st because that’s the show we got picked for. I wanted to include what happened at night 2 or the Chicago rain show though cause like that happened right after and was equally amazing and had a direct influence from meeting Taylor. 

Chicago night 2

I think I woke up at like 9:00am or 10:00am because I like couldn’t sleep I was so happy and excited about everything that happened. And then I stayed on my phone a lot and I still couldn’t eat anything and at one point I did eat a cookie but that was it and I drank a lot of water. PLEASE STAY HYDRATED IF YOU’RE GOING TO THE SHOWS I ALMOST THREW UP A COUPLE OF TIMES BECAUSE I WAS DANCING TO HARD AND NEEDED WATER AND A LITTLE BREAK. Anyways I went and talked to Adia’s aunt for a bit and thanked her for letting me stay over and what not and we just took our time getting ready and deciding what to do with our posters/what we wanted to wear cause we knew it was going to rain and so that’s why I decided to not wear my dress again cause its floor length and when I would walk up the stairs I would trip on it lol so I didn’t want to ruin it especially because I had met Taylor in it but also because I still wanted to wear it to my other shows (which are Louisville, Cleveland, and atlanta night 1 come say hi to me!). So I had brought leggings with me and a normal t-shirt and since Taylor was wearing her own merch when she met us which by the way WHAT A QUEEN FOR DOING THAT also saved me a lot of money lol I waited and bought the sweater she wore at the show and put that on at the stadium. We left probably around 3:30ish and we ended up getting our picture in the car on our way to the show and guys I didn’t even see it but I saw it was loading and I was already tearing up but I had done my makeup so I could take pictures and look decent in them so I would like fan myself every time I looked at it and thought about everything like I couldn’t look at it lol. It was like 4:00pm by the time we got the pic and so we got their around 4:45pmish cause the doors hadn’t opened yet to the stadium. But we got there a lot later the second day and at that time the getaway shop and line for the throne was a lot longer than the day before (I’m thinking its cause night 1 was a Friday and night 2 was a Saturday so it had to do with availability and traffic and what not). But we just go straight in line to get in and guys we met so many people and we gave Jords and David extra tight hugs for what they had done for us and wow I’ll never have enough words to express my gratitude for what they did for us. But yeah we met so many people waited in line with some and everyone was congratulating us and it was so nice and once we got in we saw Kaitlyn again and took pictures with her and talked about everything and then we went and got a picture at this polaroid booth thing and I don’t even have it and haven’t even seen it so there’s that haha. And then we went and got the sweater for me and GUYS I FIT INTO A MEDIUM it’s that oversized in case you were wondering. I normally wear a L or XL and sometimes if it runs small I’ll get an XXL but a MEDIUM fits perfectly and is still sort of oversized so yeah. And I put it on and was really happy and around 6:00pm we went to our seats and again walked around the stadium and people were coming up to us and were so happy for us and we found out like half of our friends met Taylor that morning at the at&t event and it was all so magical I was so happy and I couldn’t believe the amount of people who we had known from online who got to meet Taylor, so many people who we were rooting for and it was just so crazy. So then I finally eat a pretzel but I couldn’t eat the whole thing cause I thought how close we’d be to her when she was on the b-stage cause we had front row and I couldn’t stomach anything else haha. So we danced again to the opening acts and we actually met this guy who’s been a fan of Taylor’s since the Myspace days and he was pretty chill and he told us that he became a fan of hers because of her CMA performance in 2006 where she plays Tim McGaw to Tim and she plays the very last note in front of Tim and Faith and she holds out her hand and says Hi I’m Taylor and he said it was the most powerful thing he saw and that’s why he became a fan and WOW GUYS WOW IT REALLY IS POWERFUL GO WATCH IT IF YOU NEVER HAVE. I love her. Later that night he saw me like bawling my eyes out and was telling me “don’t ever change” and man the people I met night 2 were SO incredible and I’ll never forget them. And so yeah we talked to the people around us and then Taylor came on and we were dancing having the night of our life and during you belong with me I actually saw the triplets and Maggie get rep room which I was so excited and I KNEW would happen! then she came to the b-stage and sang 22 right in front of us and I’m pretty sure she made eye-contact with me but I don’t remember and my video is SO shaky but yeah we all lost our shit and EVERYONE WAS SO ROUGH GOODNESS SAKES. But then she went and played DWOHT and that’s my favorite song and I got to tell Taylor how much it meant to me the night before so I was a fucking mess and apparently the girls in front of me were laughing at me crying and Adia seriously goes “are you really laughing at her right now” YALL GET YOURSELF A FRIEND LIKE ADIA SHE UNDERSTOOD HOW MUCH THAT MEANT TO ME AND SHE STOOD UP FOR ME AND WOW I’M SO GRATEFUL FOR HER. And they go no no and continue listening and this guy next to me grabs my hand and starts singing with me and swaying while holding my hand and he holds it so tight for the song and afterwards he gives me a huge hug and says I hope everything is okay and if it’s not it will be and I can’t tell you how much that meant to me and you can have nasty Taylor fans but then you can find an Adia or a random guy who will hold your hand during your favorite song while you are absolutely sobbing and those are the ones who I remember and cherish most. But yeah when it ended and everyone run over to the second b-stage I said sorry guys to the girls in front of me and I was like that’s just my favorite song and you know I met her last night and they all went YOU MET HER and I was like yeah and I walked away. THE BEST REVENGE IS HAPPINESS. So then it was blank space and dress and it was officially 24 hours since we got chosen for rep room I was again a MESS. And the girls next to us now were so nice and dancing with us and saw how emotional I was and one was dancing with us and what not and she actually met her at Pasadena and the other one kept saying you’re making me cry and she was so sweet and I gave them both huge hugs and thanked them and we went back to our seats and then we actually got to experience bad blood should’ve said no and don’t blame me and YALL WE MISSED OUT ON A LOT HAHA. But then long live happened and I didn’t even notice it was raining till Taylor said it was and went straight into the song and I started sobbing and it was exactly what I needed. Like I NEEDED THAT RAIN SHOW YOU HAVE NO IDEA. And during New Year’s Day Adia looks over at me and says “we met Taylor at midnight” and I SOBBED y’all Taylor has our midnights. and then the show goes on and the rain is pouring and I get soaked and it was the best night of my life and after the show ended it literally stopped raining so we took pictures and what not and then when we went up to leave and it started pouring again and we were right in the section we had gotten rep room in the night before and saw the people who got picked and Maggie says my name and she says congrats on meeting Taylor and I say thank you and give her a hug and then I was like omg are you.. and she nods her head yes and I freaked out and hugged her so so many times so tight and gave as much advice as I could and I saw the triplets again and they said they remembered me and I said I saw it happen and that I was so happy for them and I was like to Maggie THREE YEARS AGO WE SAT IN FRONT AND BEHIND OF EACH OTHER AT THE 1989 TOUR AND NOW IN ONE WEEKEND WE BOTH MET TAYLOR. It was a crazy moment that I will never forget. And so then we left and that’s basically it. That’s the story of me meeting Taylor Swift.

[artemissarrows]

The Most Beautiful Moment In Life: #BTSxCitiField

Wow. I’m home back from New York, where I had the amazing gift of being able to see BTS live on their Love Yourself world tour. I’m literally out of words to describe it, but I’ll try.

I saw in someone’s post about seeing them on the Wings tour that they were sad for a week after and I thought to myself, “it’s just a concert! How the heck would that happen?”

...and here I am, having cried a bunch of times in the last two days (though none of them actually during the concert, there was too much adrenaline), now I am living it.  I really feel it in my body. I’m exhausted. My voice is destroyed from so much cheering and fan-chanting. But I’m also sort of happy about that, because it’s a marker of having gone through that experience and I want to hold onto that. I was off work Monday and spent the entire day at my house watching Bon Voyage and Run episodes (didn’t realize they were only 20 minutes!!) to console myself.

I’m sad the concert’s over, and I’m also sad that the Love Yourself era is also basically over too, some additional concert dates notwithstanding. This era really encapsulates everything I love about BTS: their positive message, their incredible songwriting and producing and music in general, and their growth as artists. I have complete faith in our boys that whatever comes next will be fantastic and that they’ll keep growing, I just desperately hope this isn’t their peak. But regardless, I’m glad I got to see this show because it felt like such a special one—their first sold-out North America stadium show. And it seems like BTS felt like it was special as well.

I’m also feeling intense love, because love is at the heart of it all. BTS’ love for ARMY and their earnest and sincere desire that we love ourselves, and be our best selves (see: Magic Shop, etc). And ARMY’s love and deep appreciation for BTS seeing us and our struggles, and believing in our ability to succeed. I was a little leery of calling myself an ARMY before this concert, mostly because of ARMY’s reputation on the internet as being kind of a crazy and intense fandom, but I fully embrace ARMY-dom now, because I understand that it’s really all about love.

So to recap, I’m going to do some best-ofs and link to Twitter and Insta pictures and videos. My phone camera is the literal worst, which is why I unfortunately don’t have any of my own!

Best deep thought: RM, our leader, always and forever. Sometimes I forget that he’s a literal genius because he’s also so derpy and cute, and then it’s moments like this that I re-remember that he does absolutely nothing related to their music or public presentation by accident or without forethought.

Via @mimibtsghost

He—and all of them, really—understand so well their role in our lives and our role in theirs. ARMY loves BTS, and BTS loves all of us so much, and truly wants us all to be happy and to live our best and whole selves. RM literally said this in his UN speech (which he also mentioned). When he says Speak Yourself, I think what he means is a combination of “Tell your story,” “Speak out,” and “Speak your truth.”

Best bias wreck: Jimin

Now I’m one of those people who legit loves all the members almost the same (except for Jin, I don’t love him quite as much) and my biases are Suga and V, but only by a little. But oh my goodness, Jimin was such a bias-wrecker in this concert. His solo set was ridiculous, he was wearing this beautiful sparkly top and did his amazing lyrical dance moves. So many eyebrow quirks and hearts. I’m completely dead. The friend I was with is a Jimin stan, and I think they were like, “how did it take you this long???” I now have three coequal biases. Here’s a good one, and this cutie pic.

Best corny-yet-adorable moments: J-Hope and V

J-hope’s Trivia: Just Dance stage was J-Hope being a major hype-man for the entire concert. And oh man, did it work. He’s such an exuberant live performer and the perfect choice for the second song. That white suit?? And his joy and enthusiasm is completely infectious. Hope World was my favorite of the three rappers’ mixtapes, and I was happy that his Trivia song was very much in that style, lots of old-school rap vibes. His joy is just so pure.

Also, Taehyung’s sign-off for ARMY at the end of the show: “You are the brighest stars in my universe.” Corny, but sweet and touching; also poetic because the ARMY bombs really do look like stars to the performers on stage, and we are orbiting around them, pulled into their gravity. Ah, V, so poetical as always <3

Unexpected song I liked live: Epiphany

Jin’s not my favorite member (see above), and I’m honestly a bit mystified by why people seem to like him so, so much. I’m also not a lover of ballads, usually, and the Epiphany video was fine but not one of my favorites. But I really liked this song live, way more than I was expecting to. Jin does have a really great voice, and it’s a bit less breathy than Jungkook’s in particular (still love you, Jungkook, you also sound great live!) He really gave a powerful vocal performance, and I’m going to put Epiphany back in my listening rotation…..after I listen to Suga’s I Need You x Seesaw remix another 15 times, sorrynotsorry.

Best gay/ship moments: Vkook, Suga

Vkook showed up again at this concert in force! One moment I saw myself, one I missed and found later on Twitter.

1) Tae hopped onto Jungkook’s back for a piggyback ride. It was super-brief but I know it happened because I distinctly remember thinking, “huh, usually Tae hops on Jungkook’s back, but Jungkook hopped on Tae’s this time. Interesting!” Turns out I was wrong and Tae hopped onto Jungkook as usual! Here’s a still, via @harchu2

2) Apparently, Tae also gave Jungkook a little kiss and/or nuzzle on the neck at the end. I completely missed this myself, but hey, it’s there on the video. Vkook, you’re being so loud <3

Suga’s Seesaw performance also pinged my gaydar in a major way, I’m not even sure why myself. He started off lying on this white couch. And he’s just so sassy. And this sparkly red top with a sash that he was wearing. Suga, you’re the best. Here’s a really nice pic, via @maggiejslg + Seesaw clip

Best PSA: RM

Three separate times, RM said that we shouldn’t shove one another for our safety. Our boys are so considerate and want everyone to have a good time!

Most impressive stunts: V, Suga

V’s Singularity set was fcking amazing. He’s really the most stellar performer, such a true artist. It seems positively unbelievable that he’s only 22 (what the heck was I doing when I was 22??). His little video before his solo stage (all members had them) was him surrounded by dark flowers and a pane of glass that frosted over. The hand-in-the-coat dance, and his backup dancers with masks that moved with him…the visuals of his set were stunning, and his singing was really stellar live (well, truly, everyone’s was). Here’s a clip.

In Suga’s Seesaw performance, he did this slick little stunt where he slid down a lit white long prop bar, like a seesaw. It looked really cool. I love the song Seesaw, it really shows how versatile Suga is, and his performance was a giant f-you to everyone who thinks he can’t sing or dance.

Best surprise songs: Dope and So What

Dope has always been one of my favorite songs. It’s so clearly and lovingly descended from 90’s American boy band stuff, but updated and, frankly, better. It’s got the killer hook and the great dancing, and is almost always the first video I show someone when I’m trying to explain why I love this K-pop band so much. I thought there was next to no chance of their playing it, but they did!!! I can die happy now. It was part of the medley in the middle, including Boyz With Fun, Attack On Bangtan, Fire, Bapsae (another one I was thrilled to hear), and Dope.

So What is also lowkey my favorite LYS: Tear track (though like the members, really only by a little on what’s a phenomenal album overall). I knew there wasn’t a dance for it so I didn’t think they’d play it, and was so, so thrilled when they did! It was like having a huge party with BTS and ARMY at the end of the show.

Best emotional vulnerability moment: Jimin

Jimin did some excellent crying at the end of the show, when they all came out in black t-shirts and addressed ARMY directly. Oh my goodness, it was so cute and sweet. They’ve really come so far; Yoongi tends to respond through bravado and celebrating their accomplishments, and Jimin cries. I just love so much that he’s modeling being emotional and vulnerable, and everyone just wants to give him a big ol’ hug.

Such beautiful crying.

Best Jungkook moment: End filming

At the very end of the concert, right as they were about to sink down into the floor, Jungkook grabbed a camera and started filming ARMY. I was just like, “wow, they want to remember this night just as much as we want to.”

Favorite fanchant: DNA

There were so many fun fanchant moments. My only regret is that I didn’t learn the words to Seesaw better (@StanningBTSpod, you did warn me, I should have!) But DNA has the name bit at the beginning, and BTS! BTS! BTS! in the chorus, it was just super fun. Toward the end of the concert honestly there was so much screaming and such that it was hard to even hear the fanchants. That was fine too! 

Happy me success moments 

Met the wonderful @daftlolita waiting in line to get into the venue, it was super great to hang out! 

I made this jacket, and got a bunch of compliments! My entire goal was to find other queer ARMYs and I think I pretty much succeeded. 

I also gave out most of the pins I made (made a bunch of extra ones precisely for that purpose). I don’t love Twitter that much and much prefer interacting with people in person, and generally feel like I succeeded on that front.

I kinda wish I’d gotten at least a little merch, but honestly the ticket was expensive enough. I also kinda wanted an ARMY bomb, but also, see ticket price. I tried to go to the BT21 store in Times Square on Sunday before I left and it was an hour wait so….no go on that one, I’ll get back to New York soon though.

At the end of it all, I cannot tell you how indescribably proud I am to call myself an ARMY. Although our fandom has its flaws for sure because we live in a broken world, to me, being an ARMY means co-creating a better world with BTS. A happier world.

A world where we love ourselves.

A world where there’s no stigma attached to mental illness and we can ask for the help we need

Where we take care of one another and are mindful of others (no shoving!!)

Where we celebrate and embrace difference

Where all young people have the resources they need to thrive

And where people of all races, genders, and ranges of life experience come together to express joy. I’m tearing up again as I write this.

Arundhati Roy has this beautiful quote that I’ve seen around activist spaces. It goes, “Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing.”

I saw a small glimpse of that world at #BTSCitiField. Janelle Monae will lead us through the narrow places into that world. Or, as BTS have it, from the desert to the ocean. And BTS will be there to make sure we drink enough water and are good to one another while we’re moving forward.

Suga, you said you’d be back. I’ll hold you to that promise.

And please, wear that red sparkly top again. It was absolutely killer. I purple all of you beautiful, special, luminous men who are making our world better, one song at a time.

[chivalin]

February Week 8 - April Week 18: Appreciating Other Content Creators Recs (SWTOR)

It has been ages since the last one but since today is “May the Fourth be with you” and swtor fan appreciation day, I decided to pour all my efforts into making this.

I have to apologize though as the comments on these are not as lengthy as in the previous ones but I really wanted to publish this today and also finally get caught up with the recs posts :P. But know that even if your name or work isn’t in here, I still absolutely adore everything I have appreciated in the past!

But anyway, for those new to this, here’s the intro from the very first recs post that explains everything perfectly:

I promised in my New Year’s resolution to spread more positiveness around towards other content creators out there. So -  - here are some of my favorite creators, fics, art and other things - - that I want to appreciate once more. You can find more cool stuff in my Art Appreciation Blog dedicated solely for appreciating others’ contents.

Basically I just want to spread some positiveness around because as a content creator myself, I know how much joy and encouragement even one show of appreciation can bring into people’s lives :)

*

ART

@starryevening - Sith Apprentice

The style is very pleasing to the eye in this and the colors are absolutely fantastic! Everything is so vibrant which makes this such an eye catcher, and I especially love the hair and face so much!

@mirielsart - Revan & Malak

Not exactly full on swtor art, but hey, it’s close enough and I just couldn’t pass by this without including it! The style makes me weep and everything else about this is superb too from the coloring to the poses that end up creating such a strong, emotive piece!

@aspyforthethrone - Sass // Gev // Hunter & Theron & Ewanh

All the characters have been captured perfectly and the style (and the clothes, can’t forget them because, daaamn!) in these is absolutely golden too! I highly enjoy the easily recognizable expressions, and the mood of these pieces is just stunning, especially in the Gev piece!

@tracinyad - Nino

The style is very pleasing and I just love how the face looks! The coloring is superb, I love the blue so much, and I especially love how the hair has been done!

@erinmccomics - OC Fight Week Duel Comic

This comic is absolutely hilarious and I just love how the action moves fluidly from one panel to another! The expressions are also so freaking awesome, making this such a fantastic piece!

@sirenofvathraki - Header Edits

Daaamn, these edits are ridiculously good and it’s such a joy to look at them! Seriously, I absolutely love how these look as the color scheme, composition and practically everything is just so spot on!

@aredheelmahariel - Togruta

This is an absolutely stunning piece that I can’t just seem to drag my eyes away from! The coloring is mesmerizing and I’m so in awe because of it, and damn that gaze is so hypnotizing too!

@skullinacowboyhat - Miraluka Druid // Togruta Monk

I absolutely adore these designs so much as the coloring is superb in both of them and- damn, I just love these so much, alright?? They feel very real and immediately catch my interest whenever I see them!

@dottiechan - Togruta Codzhekel // Togruta Codzhekel Digital

This rec post wouldn’t be complete if I didn’t include these fabulous pieces because my sweet Togruta is in them! I can’t sing praises enough of how much I love both of these and they do Codzhekel more than enough justice, leaving me happily weeping away because of pure awesomeness! (Ty so much once again for doing these <33)

@popiell - Pureblood Natjana // Sith Pureblood/Mirialan Hybrid

Same as above as the first one has my dear Nat in it and she looks absolutely stunning! I love the style in both of these so, so much and can’t help but to just marvel the pure talent and skill that has made it possible to create these pieces! (Also, ty so much once again for doing Nat <33)

@windwyrm - Firebrand Kaliyo

This is such an interesting and very well done piece that I’m definitely in awe! I absolutely love the colors and how perfectly all the different elements work together to create such an interesting and breathtaking piece!

@dingoat - Scourge & Jedi Knight // Torian & Jedi Knight Fight Scene // Torian & Jedi Knight Hug

Such amazing pieces of work that never fail to tell a story on their own! I absolutely love the mood, composition and coloring (aaaand, practically everything, haha) in all of these and I can honestly say that these pieces are just flawless and pure perfection!

@spindlewit - Jedi Consular

The design of this Consular is so pleasing that I can’t help but smile widely whenever I lay my eyes on it! The outfit is superbly done and I really like all the three poses, and I also have to mention how much I just adore the coloring!

@sssamson - Theron & Imperial Agent // Vector Outfit Meme // Torian Outfit Meme

I absolutely adore all of these and their styles so much! They’re so pleasing and interesting to look at and I just love the connection in the first pic while the outfits in the last two are superbly done, not to mention I just adore the top hat wearing killik with Vector!

@viridanlegacy - Metal Fashion Imperial Toons

This is the greatest thing my Finnish eyes have ever laid their gaze on, haha! I absolutely love the design of these characters and the poses are so well executed too, making this piece pure perfection!

@redosjenny - “New Top Nerd”

I adore the expressions and the good, casual mood in this so much! The colors are pleasantly vibrant and it definitely tells a story on its own which is always such a good thing!

@semper-draca - Tarot Card Gimrizh (nsfw for nudity and blood)

This is a very powerful piece of art that is just an absolutely delight to observe! I love all the details and symbolism, and this definitely such a flawless and very well-thought-out piece!

@painedting - Ziost & Sith Inquisitor

The mood in this is ridiculously powerful and I absolutely love how this has been colored too! The face is very well done and damn, the look in those eyes nearly sends shivers down my spine because it’s so intense!

@claudela - Pureblood Outfit Meme (nsfw-ish for mostly bare upper body)

This is- I don’t even have words to describe how awesome this is! Seriously, the outfit is so on point and DAMN THAT CHARACTER is amazingly done and I definitely love how vibrant the colors are!

FIC

@aly-the-writer - Rest (Arcann/Male Jedi Consular)

The style is really fluid and sucks you right in the moment you start reading! I quite adore the chemistry between these characters and how smooth their interactions are, creating such a delightful piece!

@lesabear - Malicineve & Temperamental Astromech // Vharmir & Down Time w/ Theron

Oh man, I can’t praise enough how well the first-person narratives are executed absolutely flawlessly in these fics! They also have such a pleasant, easy to follow paces and the characterizations and humor are very well done too!

@keldae - Phobia (Theron Shan/Female Jedi Knight)

The style in this is so catching and pleasant to read that it makes you devour the fic before you even realize what has happened! The pace flows smoothly from one paragraph to another and I just love the interactions between all the characters!

@talonfics - The Depths of Surrender (Kaliyo Djannis/Female Imperial Agent)

I really, really enjoy this as it’s well-written and the chemistry between the characters is superb! I just love the style and all the cool bits that can be found in here, like the one where they’re kissing in the end!

@fer8girl - Eyes on You (OC/OC) // I Never Mean to Hurt You // Charmed (Torian Cadera/Female Bounty Hunter)

All of these are such enjoyable and delightful reads, I can’t praise them enough! The style is absolutely fluid and I definitely got sucked in because the telling and characters are so interestingly told!

@nerf-burger - A Massage (Felix Iresso/Female Jedi Consular)

Such a sweetly awesome and well-written piece that I can’t help but be in awe! The interactions between the characters are really natural and I just utterly love how Felix is portrayed and how supportive he is!

@cinlat - Forced R&R (Theron/Vector/Female Imperial Agent)

Oh my god, I absolutely love this! The chemistry is so on point between everyone and I have to admit that I definitely fell in love with this pairing while reading this!

@tishinada - Patience (Andronikos Revel/Female Sith Inquisitor)

This has such and excellent style and telling that it’s an absolute joy to read! Andronikos’ portrayal is superb, and I just love the interactions and observations between these two!

@cavalier-life - Caught in a Storm (Theron Shan/Arcann/Female Sith Warrior)

Such an interesting and lovely poly ship that I definitely grew invested in while reading this! The pacing is really nice and smoothly flowing, making this so easy and delightful to read!

@kunoichi-ume - Starships in the Night (Vector Hyllus/Female Bounty Hunter)// 30 Days of Domestic Fluff (Torian Cadera/Female Jedi Knight)

I absolutely love both of these! They’re such superbly written pieces that also have amazing chemistry between all the characters! The style is really great and I have to admit that these being not so common pairings makes me love them even more!

@sassheliosazuras - Snuggling Cat // Jackass Inibri-cat

I just can’t leave these out from here because animals are such a soft spot of mine, especially if they want to snuggle or are the embodiment of Inibri, haha! Seriously though, I enjoy both of these immensely and they make me so happy whenever I even think about them!

@lordviridis - Welcome to Dromund Kaas

Oh maaaaaan, I witnessed this fic being made and know what’s going to happen in it and it’s *so* good that I can’t praise this enough! Such intricate telling and pleasant style, not to mention that I just adore Aleena because she’s such a good character!  

[seungkwanslowqualityenglish]

BF!Yuzuru Hanyu

buttercup baby

sweet sunflower child

pure unfiltered moonlight and happiness and joy

big on cuddles

not big on kisses

making out seems kind of sloppy and messy and not very pleasant

prefers to just touch with maybe a few pecks dropped here and there

because he’s a snugglebunny at heart

skinship at any time, all the time

like nonstop 

WILL pout if not given what he wants and what Yuzu wants is for you to hold him against your heart and scratch that little spot at the nape of his neck

forever the small spoon, no exceptions

loves presents of any sort

gives the same reaction for them all, very dramatic, very extra, loves whatever it is

will cry equally hard over a pair of diamond encrusted iceskates or a lil froggy keychain from a gas station 

gets misty eyed during romantic movies 

most def cries his eyes over an anime death 

just very emotional

when Yuzuru expresses his emotions he lays it all out there

he’s gonna grin from ear to ear, or bawl his eyes out, or literally become ill with rage 

He’s very strong, one of his greatest points is that Yuzuru is always there for you

whether it’s just a kind word or if he’s channeling his inner drill sergeant and pushing you to do what needs to be done, Yuzuru somehow manages to help you through every ordeal even with everything that’s on his own plate

might be a bit reserved with his own many problems at first because the last thing he’d want to do is burden you, but once the stream starts trickling Yuzuru is gonna spill his guts and release every bit of tension and built up stress

can literally feel the ache in his chest ease when he’s with you, you are his best source of stress relief

kiss his forehead and ease his mind, bless his world with your presence

calls you a lot just to hear you breathe because it soothes him

lots of skate dates

you’d think he’d be sick of rink after all the time he spends there but like 75% of your dates are on the ice

even if you know how to skate you let him “teach” you anyway, just because Yuzu looks so darn happy to guide you into his world

is happiest when he has you on the ice, the two loves of his life in one place is almost overwhelmingly glorious

panics if you fall but laughs if he does

is extremely careful and holds your hand the entire time

but then he always holds your hand, no matter what you’re doing

holds your hand across the table at dinner

holds your hand inside the popcorn bucket at the movies

holds your hand underneath his coat if it’s chilly

he just loves to hold you

loves everything about you

every inch of you is adorable

has a minimum of 80 unflattering pics of you in his phone at any given time, just because you could never look ugly or unattractive in his eyes so he refuses to delete them

is seriously proud that he is yours and you are his

definitely tells everyone he meets that you’re together

who gives a diddlydarn about what people, or fans, or the press says? Not Yuzuru, I can tell you that much.

you’re his world and he’s gonna make sure that everyone knows it

[norhymenoreasonff-blog]

Chapter 40

I’m so close… that’s the only thought that goes through my head as each new day passes by. I’m so close and if I just wait it out everything I want and deserve will come to me. That’s easier said than done but for this and for her I’ll do what I have to do to get what I want. It shouldn’t have to come to this but it has so now it’s a matter of determination, dedication, and most importantly patience and then everything will fall into place how it always should have been.

I’m not sure where these thoughts came from but they’re here now and if I’m truthful I don’t want to get rid of them. This all started of as a ruse… a one time thing… something to pass my time but now I’m hooked on the possibility of what could be and I can’t or won’t let what’s now possible go. I’ve used anyone willing to help me get just a little closer to her but lately that’s still not enough.

I almost blew it though… there she was… in front of me… alone. He was nearby but still she was alone and I could have had her. She was just there and I couldn’t believe or understand how he could be so careless and just leave her unattended and I had to reach out and prove her and my luck real. I touched her… I touched her and I wanted to fall behind her as delirium and bliss rolled into one. There are times and moments I hop between elation and devastation when it comes to her and the feelings I feel for her. If I’m honest even I scare myself with the thoughts and emotions battling inside of me but there’s not much I can do to change or force them away so I delve deeper in the dance between the multiple emotions I have for her.

They threw a little party and I wasn’t invited. I don’t know whether to be angry, offended, or relieved that I didn’t get the invite but then again me being there wouldn’t exactly work. He’s living a life meant for me and there is no way in hell I could or would just stand to the side not saying anything as he partied it up with what didn’t belong to him. I watched as each and every guest arrived full of laughter, good times, and cheer and I bit back the anger that tried to fester in me. Me being angry don’t change wouldn’t change anything in that moment so it was nothing more than a wasted emotion. In time the roles and scenes will be reversed and he’s going to be the one on the outside watching while me, Robyn and baby live the life I’m planning for us.

Her belly grows a little every day with the baby they created together and my mind goes in least a million different directions. Can I be man enough to raise the reminder of him and his time with her or do I send that little bastard in whatever direction it’s father goes? That baby causes yet another dilemma within my mind. Do I wait until it’s delivered and she can come to me with no regrets or second thoughts? Or do I take her as my own when the time presents itself regardless to if she’s pregnant or not? I think I can be a good father to her son but once again the real question still remains do I even want to. I saw them laughing and hugging and celebrating her pregnancy on many occasions and I can’t deny that she’s beautiful but the truth of the matter is it’s his baby and once she’s with me any remainder of him is not needed. I can give her all the babies and kids she wants and they will truly be loved because they will be created with, by, and because of our love.

Her friends are now in town and I feel just that much closer to the life we will be living. Their arrival here gives me greater access to see and touch and simply be with her. Every time they step out to shop or eat or just roam about the city I find myself a closer step to her. The last time as the stood waiting for their realtor to join them I was close enough behind her to touch her once again. I somehow controlled myself and kept my hands to myself but I smelled her and got drunk on the scent of her. Maybe next time I’ll hide in plain sight and stand right next to her letting our souls touch as I brush up against her.

I’m so damn close and with each passing moment I can almost taste and experience every moment with her by my side living the life we’re supposed to live together. I’m so damn close and my gaze stays trained on their condo waiting for the moment she comes out to me and my steps closer to her.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@@@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 I’ve never seen my sister like this. I’ve known her practically my whole life but I’ve never seen this version of her and it’s amazing to see. Watching Robyn and Chris together I’m damn near floored by all that I see. This is what honest to goodness, pure happiness looks like. Through all her quirks and fake complaints they still smile and make goo goo eyes at each other because they only see and love and live for each other. I might be explaining it wrong and not putting the right words together to correctly describe what I’ve witnessed between them but love, contentment, and genuine happiness is real and encompassing and I find myself getting caught up with each laugh and giggle and passing glance between the two of them.

Chris had all this big talk about how he was in control and what he says goes but he and we all knew he was lying. All it took was half a pout from Robyn and he damn near fell over himself giving in to her every whelm. It would almost be sickening if I didn’t know them but every little gesture he’s hugging and kissing and loving up on her and she’s giving the same to him. Leandra tried calling them both out on display but he mumbled out something nonsense that only she understand which caused her to react and we had damn near an hour of them wrapped in each other.

I did my best to hold back sudden tears as he gushed over the few wedding pics he has of them. She looked even more beautiful than I could have imagined her to be on her wedding day. My tears weren’t over any sadness about me not being there in that moment but more so not being able to dive deeper in their joy and love if that makes any sense. Seeing and watching them together makes me believe that that same emotion and all consuming love is out there for me too. Barry and I dance around these feelings/emotions all the time and the more I watch them the more I can understand how far we are from what we want. We go round and round about the things we claim we want from each other but neither one of us is trying to do or change or become the version of us we need to be to make whatever we want to work. Watching Chris and Robyn makes me want it that much more but unfortunately life and at this time don’t want it for me. Whenever the time comes and life decides it’s my turn for it all I’m diving head first into everything that comes to me.

I used to sit and watch them ready to scream, shout, and shake the hell out of the both of them until a clue popped into both of their heads. We all knew and could so plainly see the love they both had for each other. Why they ran from it I will never know but they did and my violent thoughts and tendencies grew even more when Damon came into her life. I was so damn disappointed in Robyn and the choices she was making then. Damon didn’t deserve to breath the same air as Robyn let alone anything else she gave him. The day she walked away from him and the shit he offered her I shouted and partied like I hit the biggest prize ever. And then find out she and Chris FINALLY went there… between me and Leandra it was like we were dick for the first time. We were a damn mess but we were so damn happy for our sister and for Chris because we knew they both wanted it for so long. Though it took them a second to finally say what they wanted and how they felt for each other when they finally did say it I knew it would be for keeps.

My mind goes back to their wedding pictures and instead of sadness I can’t stop the smile from covering my face. Thinking back to Chris’ face as he explained the craziness of that day and how nervous he had been even with knowing what Robyn would say at the alter it almost felt as if I was there. Watching as he pointed out everything he was able to pull together in one day’s time… from the flowers to the wedding dress to the location to everything else… left me damn near speechless. When I first figured out they were married I was momentarily hurt but having heard about their day from his point of view as crazy as it sounds I’m almost happy no one else was there to take anything from that day away from them. That moment when they promised each other forever was for them and them alone and only they deserved to experience it.

They’re off somewhere… a treat or something he promised her and it’s for the best. I’m overwhelmed and awed by their love for each other but sitting and watching them cupcake all day ain’t it either. If they’re cupcaking and up under each other they’re in the room doing something else we ain't even trying to hear. If she wasn’t already pregnant and with as much as they are in that damn room she would be swollen with twins, triplets, and every other multiple of big headed babies. They’re in love and happy and them giving up a reprieve is greatly appreciated.

Normally it would be the three of us out shopping and spending money we don’t need to e spending but Chris wanted to take her out somewhere and my wallet said thank you. It’s for the best though… I don’t know what it is but something has been a little off the last time me, Robyn, and Leandra went out to shop. I didn’t say anything but it was such a weird vibe when we were out looking at baby things and the furniture she just had to have in Baby Junior’s nursery. She was jumpy which made me jumpy and in turn made Leandra even more snarky than she normally is. Her snark and attitude came from her being jumpy as well and I didn’t like anything about that outing. I was trying to gather up the words to mention the vibe I was feeling but Chris came home and whatever jumpy or off feelings Robyn had was all but gone. I didn’t want to change the whole happy feeling so I swallowed back my words while hoping that feeling or vibe never came to us again.

Speaking of off feelings and vibes… that night of the party when me and Leandra went out to continue partying with Gabby and Taryn everything was off. That whole Taryn acting like she didn’t know Gabby had me looking at her sideways. For her not to know her she was damn near draped all over her when we got out in the club and she had more than a few more drinks up in her. She had her off in the corner more than a few times talking her ear off so for them not to know each other she had a whole lot of shit to say to her. In between her dragging Gabby off to talk her ear off Taryn was rambling nonsense to me and Leandra that neither one of us could understand.

Her drinks got cut off but that didn’t stop her verbal diarrhea as she continued on. They say alcohol makes drunks speak the truth but whatever she was attempting to say none of us was even attempting to hear it. We were out there to party and her confession fest was all but blocked out. Despite Taryn and her flaky acting ass the night was cool and Gabby damn near made me forget about Taryn and her too muchness. Gabby promised to hang out with us again minus Taryn and her drunk truths no one wanted to hear. Exchanging numbers we set up plans hang the coming weekend. If I can pry Robyn away from Chris maybe it could be the four of us just chilling and having a girl day. I would include Taryn but she gave me too much of a damn headache to even attempt to spend the day with her just chilling it.

 Shaking her head as she entered the room, “That bitch don’t have a chance…”

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@@@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 You ever feel like you’re trapped in a never ending dream that no matter what is said or done you can’t seek to break out of it? Well that’s me right now… I’m here… I’m stuck... I’m trapped… and as crazy as it is I’m not rushing to get out of whatever this is. Ok… calling it whatever is a bit much… I’m trapped in a world of happiness and it feels so damn good I’m not even trying to escape from it. I look at my sister and her happiness rolls off of her covering me and Mel and we bask and drown in every single drop of it while damn near thirsting for more. I’ve always wanted this for Robyn and Chris and now that they have it I almost want to sit here and just stare at every move, touch, and act because they are the epitome and definition of love.

They are so damn sweet together they almost got my ass wanting to pur myself out there and find the same thing for me. I’m too much of a boss for that but after witnessing every kiss, every touch, every whisper that boss persona is crumbling and slipping just a little bit more and I’m almost ready to open myself up to a man and every bit of loving he wants to give to me. Speaking of loving… if they disappear on more damn time behind their bedroom door I’m going to lose it. All that moaning and cooing and chanting makes me want to throw some holy water on their asses cause all that noise they be making lets me know that whatever they are doing in there can’t be even remotely holy. All that damn moaning had me feeling some kind of way that I almost sent flirty eyes in Melissa’s direction but I’ve seen her snatch before and that’s an absolute no on my end. But honestly speaking their love is damn contagious and I’ve never felt something quite like this before.

I think I’m going to go broke. At least that’s what Melissa keeps telling me every time we go out shopping. She only saying that cause she wants me to stop buying up the stores and out doing her when it comes to buying things for our coming god child. My closeness to brokenness also comes from not knowing what to buy for. I’ve seen so many cute little clothes that would be perfect for my goddaughter and in the next breath I see something I couldn’t possibly deny my godson. That heffa of a best friend won’t even attempt to give me or Melissa a hint or clue what to buy so I’m buying up both so regardless to what she’s having I’m covered.

I think back to Robyn’s tears after I went on and on about how big she had become. I wasn’t trying to hurt her or her feelings but I was honestly shocked by how big she was while barely being out of her first trimester. I know she and the doctor have both said over and over she’s only carrying one baby but I’m still not convinced. I know she and Chris both got big ass heads but their baby’s dome ain't that damn big all damn ready so something or somebody is wrong. I’m going to keep my comments and thoughts to myself until more than one light bright freckled baby with an equally big ass head pops out of her and then I’m going to go to everybody and tell them I was right the whole damn time.

But while I’m keeping quiet I can’t help but wonder how long they are going to keep quiet about them being married. The moment I saw Chris as she waited for us with open arms I saw the ring on Chris’ finger. For once I kept my mouth shut cause I wasn’t too sure and I didn’t want to say anything just in case it wasn’t what I thought it was. But then I was completely blinded by the diamonds and bling that decorated Robyn’s finger and when Melissa and Chris was off talking about who knows what I grilled her ass and awed and fawned as she told me the truth of how she became Mrs. Brown.

I can’t lie and say I wasn’t disappointed in not being there but the more she described the more I understood why it needed to be just them. And then to learn their wedding day was the day they finally revealed their secret about Baby Junior any lingering disappointment left me and I was left with nothing but happiness for my sister. I find myself doing a proverbial happy dance I look in not only their direction but also Melissa’s as well. I finally know something her forever knowing ass does not know. I can’t wait to rub it in her face as I collect what she owes me. She shouldn’t have agreed to something she had no way of outdoing or beating me on… I’m the nosey one of the bunch so me finding out something before anyone else was bound to happen.

My nosiness might be on a break though because I have no clue or idea what the hell is up with Taryn. From the moment she came into the party shit was off with her. When she denied knowing Gabby or anything about her I knew that was a lie. No one goes that hard or that over the top unless they are trying to hide shit they don’t want other folks to know. She must have forgotten all her antics at the party because when we hit the club later she was all over Gabby laughing it up like two old friends meeting up after a long time apart.

What was even crazier was every time Gabby even attempted to bring up Robyn or her name Taryn would change the subject like anything that had to do with Robyn she wanted no parts of. Someone that damn flaky can’t get no damn parts of my godchild. It’s bad enough I have to share with Melissa but I will be damned if Taryn and her multiple personality ass gets the title of godmother too. I see the look on Melissa’s face and I quickly tell her my thoughts on Taryn and any role she’s hoping for in Baby Junior’s life.

 Slowly shaking my head, “That bitch don’t have a chance…”

“Do I even what to know what you’re talking about?”

“Taryn…”

“What the hell is that even about?”

“I was about to ask you…”

“What the hell for? From the faking like she didn’t know Gabby…”

Shaking my head once again as I interrupted her, “Whatever she’s on she can keep…”

“And was it just me or did she and Robyn even interact with each other?”

“Don’t let me find out she out her bugging…”

“What you gon do if she is?”

Slowly rolling my neck in emphasis, “Handle her ass…”

“Alright Mayweather… speaking of bugging has shit seemed off period?”

“Like how? Chris and Robyn seem fine and…”

“Not with them… but like when we’re out… don’t shit have a weird vibe or something. Like Rob be jumpy sometimes which makes me jumpy and then I look at you and…”

Nodding as I finished her observation, “I’m looking for my damn switchblade…”

“Yeah… shit is strange and I want to ask Robyn about it but…”

“How the hell do you ask her how and why she’s so damn jumpy with everything else right in her life…”

Slowly smiling as she nodded, “Exactly…”

 I see the smile on Melissa’s face and I can’t help as one covered mine as well. Her ass is about to owe me some hella cash I can spoil my godchild with. Before we took off we made a bet on who could find out some major stuff on the parents to be. We both thought it would be mundane stuff like the baby’s sex or possible name but instead I found out something so much more better than any of that. Melissa tried bragging and claiming she could out nosey me but once again she’s so damn wrong. My fat little happily married pregnant friend told me all about their wedding and marriage and nothing Melissa can brag about can even begin to top that.

 “What the hell are you smiling about?”

“I know something you don’t know…”

“I doubt it…”

Happily clapping my hands, “Bitch you are about to owe me so much damn money…”

“Whatever…”

“I got so many plans with that money…”

Slowly shrugging, “I know some shit too…”

“Not more than me…”

“Wanna bet…”

Slowly looking her up and down, “How you know?”

“I knew from the moment we stepped off the plane…”

Softly whispering, “His damn ring…”

“He ain't about to take that bad boy off no time soon…”

“He know betta…”

“Him so damn happy… when I told him I knew he wouldn’t or could shut up talking about it…”

Softly laughing, “Her either… I wish I could have been here and saw her face when everything came together…”

“The way he described it that moment was meant to be for them and them only…”

“I agree… I didn’t want to be there or hear their vows… I just wish I could have seen her face and the happiness on there after it finally happened… you know how hard we worked and wished for that moment to happen… we deserved to see it…”

“You stupid… now we have to act surprised when they finally tell everybody…”

“The only time I’m going to be surprised is if there is only one baby inside of her…”

Shaking her head, “Stop saying that…”

“That heffa is big as hell… if that’s only one baby I feel sorry for her vagina… that head is going to tear her up…”

“Instead of imagining back luck on my sister’s puss figure out a way we can find out what she’s having…”

Shaking her head as she suddenly entered the room, “Y’all might as well try to figure out something else cause I’m not telling and I will beat Chris’ ass if he does…”

“Come on cunt… you know you want to tell us so we can go out shopping for the good shit for our godchild…”

“It betta be good shit regardless or y’all skanks being replaced…”

“Ms Thang think she’s special cause her ass is married now…”

Quickly shaking her head, “Lee…”

“Your husband already told me…”

Suddenly pouting as she folded her arms across her chest, “He got a big ass mouth…”

“You told Lee…”

“That’s my business… nobody told him to open his mouth…”

“Whatever… let me see this ring up close…” slowly shaking her head as she inspected her ring, “Auntie Monica and Ms Joyce gon whoop y’all ass when they find out…”

“Y’all gotta be here to protect me…”

“What about Chris?”

Quickly fanning her hand, “His ass is on his own… I’m the one carrying his big headed baby…”

“Tell us what you’re having…”

Shaking her head, “I’ll protect myself…”

“I hope they bring three extra belts…”

“I’m going to make myself start crying so they leave me alone… Chris gon get all the blame…”

“Show Leandra the pictures…”

 Leaving the room Robyn quickly returned with a thick white book that housed their surprise wedding pictures. Happily explaining each picture we lost ourselves as she described every amazing moment from that day. Even though we didn’t get the chance to be there for her that day we were all wiping away tears as she whispered how he claimed her heart and soul as his once again that day. I’m so happy for my sister and if it’s the last thing I do I won’t let no flaky ass recent friend, weird vibe, or moment upset family member take that happiness from her.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@@@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 I step back and look at all that I’ve collected so far. As much as I don’t want anything to do with him she’s going to be attached to that baby growing inside of her. As much as I want to I can’t make her leave that reminder of him behind so I did what I had to do and started collecting baby shit for her child. I don’t know if I could ever truly love it but I’ll tolerate it if I have to. That baby is an end to a means and if I have to play stand in daddy so be it. What I want… what I need… what I will have is her and her tagalong baby.

My eyes stay trained on her building waiting for another glimpse of her. She left out earlier with him and my blood boiled every time he touched or kissed or pulled her closer to him. They escaped to his art studio and I stopped myself from running up behind them snatching her away from him. I knew what he was about to do to her and he don’t have or deserve that right. I wandered into his studio a time or two and I came across the new piece he’s been working on and it took everything in me not to destroy it on sight. A nude portrait of her laid out and in all her glory. Him displaying her like that was proof enough that he ain't the right man for a woman like her. When she’s mine no one will see her that way but me. When she’s mine she won’t want to be that damn open or on display. When she’s mine she will be for me and me only and any thought away from that won’t be tolerated.

I followed her home after they exited the studio. He went off to do whatever while she headed home. I was ready to take her then and bring her to me and my love but he tucked her away in a ride home and my chance at her was gone. As much as I hate waiting in some ways I’m thankful that that ride blocked me from grabbing her up. It’s too soon and I’m not fully ready but in time I will be and so very soon nothing or no one will keep her or what I want from me.

[wknc881]

Top Ukulele Tracks

  When I first started playing guitar I struggled badly with barre chords until one day I had the brilliant idea of practicing them on a ukulele. It did help but I quickly ran out of songs to learn and that’s when I started looking out for more ukulele based songs and these are my current top 5. So if you’re looking for some good ukulele tunes make sure to check these out.

- U Could Find by Smoothiboi Ezra: This stripped back track is one of my absolute favorite heartbreak songs. The lyrics are just adorable and Ezra’s voice is so smooth it feels as if it was meant to be accompanied by a ukulele. I can’t help but feel happy when I listen to this song, anyone who’s ever been heartbroken will connect with her and the fact that it’s not too sad or bitter, just expressive, is perfect. 

- Kalmia Kid by chloe moriondo: Again one of my favorite things about a lot of ukulele based tracks is how adorable and and uplifting this song is. The lyrics are reflective of nature but said in a very childlike way. It makes me feel like a young kid just enjoying life and all its aspects, and i’m swept away by Chloe’s voice. Her live version on YouTube is definitely worth checking out if you enjoy it.

- Stolen Heart by Tyto Grey: This song is much less happy than the last two. Once again we have another heart break track but with the slow chord progression, light double strums and static over the vocals this song feel more like someone still in that sad phase of a post break-up. The chorus gets me singing along every time (the pic above is from my short cover of this) and it’s perfect for anyone starting to sing, the vocals are easy to follow but the emotion makes this track one I come back to often.

- Spooky Ghosts by SNCKPCk: Now we have more of that classic ukulele vibe in this track. This song is a bit silly and cute, like a lot of SNCKPCK’s songs. It also has a childlike theme to it that makes it the perfect song for someone who makes you feel pure joy. The way he says ‘I’ll love you forever, forever, forever’ really makes this tracks.

- You’re my world by Atlas: This track definitely stands out and I absolutely love it. The ukulele progression is so catchy and the artist starts out with rapping. There is also sung hook in the song that really pulls it together. However, the rapping is just perfect, his lyrics are very earthy and poetic and it’s so easy to vibe to this track and sing along.

  https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7HB4D8K5G2oAnwQHod3OKa?si=dIMNVD9BThe_wDnKZuIOUg

- DJ Psyched

[wendyimmiller]

A Spring for the Ages; Endurance, Rainfall, Beauty, Raw Nerves, Blind Panic, and Two Cases of the Bends

Yeah, that’s about describes my Spring.  Yours?

It all started with a misguided nod to appear on our Township’s Garden Tour. Did this sometime last Winter.  I’d been drinking. When our garden didn’t appear on the first draft of the flyer, did I take it as a sign? Nope. A smart person would have laid low and slipped out of that commitment like it was a time share they’d been sold, but not me. Being the same impaired idiot who had agreed to the idea in the first place, I reminded the Township.

The best image I could find of my garden in March.

The second prettiest March pic of my garden.

3 of 3 of March photos. Sea of mud. Just enough life emerging to keep one from hijacking a bus.

Our garden had been on the tour several years ago but the intervening years have had their share of drama with the most carefree and joyous parts of our lives and all but the most basic of garden maintenance finding themselves shoved to the side like a road killed raccoon in the path of a snowplow.  But, you know hope springs eternal. It was a new year, a different time, and I told myself, “Hey, this will be fun. And it will motivate you to make some of those improvements you’ve been thinking about.” Yep. That’s what I told myself.

Sloppy selfie.

Of course, it did do that. Just like it almost killed me. For whatever delusional reason, I failed to factor into the decision-making process that my life would remain just the same as it’s always been—a lurching, noisy, rickety, breathlessly busy, confused and confusing, poorly conceived extended round of experimental performance art liberally embellished with unpleasant surprises at inopportune moments. Somehow, I had forgotten that.

Spring comes in increments, and little things sometimes distract you momentarily from the overall ugliness and all the work that must be done.

Meh. Ugh.

And there is nothing like a looming garden tour to sober you right up real fast. First walk-through after you’ve agreed to such a thing and, bam, there you are–clear-eyed, stammering, and horrified, seeing your garden from the viewpoint of carloads of judgmental strangers. Make this walk-through like I did in March–that most hopelessly depressing, mercilessly ugly, butthole-with-a disease month of the year–and it’s the horticultural equivalent to waking up with some person you hooked up with at a dive bar deep into the early morning hours of the previous night. So you do the only things that come to mind. First you drink. Then you cry. Finally, you beseech the Almighty for an asteroid to come screaming out of the sky and smash all your years of bad ideas, lousy plant choices, inexplicable design decisions, ill-advised gardening practices, plastic containers, fake flamingos, and scuzzy gazing balls into tiny burning fragments that all fall on top of your neighbor’s boat.

Well, okay.

And a late night of work rewarded by a decent scene in the fading light.

But you know from long experience that God has a very spotty record of answering your prayers and that your luck isn’t good enough to guide a comet in on its own, so you do the only thing you can: you go outside and garden like hell. Like some nervous dervish all ramped up on speed. Rinse and repeat, you’re doing this from mid-March to May 19th, every night after work until it’s too dark to tell garlic mustard from poison ivy and every weekend from the crack of dawn to long after dark. Dehydrated most of the time, of course. And you have to fit this in and around record rainfall, a pair of weekend trips you’d committed to previously, and a bunch of appointments and presentations that wind up eating 15 weeknights and about six weekend days.

Neither aminal was much help. Martin, The Heart of Darkness, just distracted us with his constant plotting of our doom.

And Zaku, the blind old dog, kept himself busy by walking on every perennial just as it went into bloom.

I won’t go into every gory detail about every dumb mistake, disturbing discovery, and newfound deep disappointment, but I will tell you, as an example, about removing my old nursery hoop house. It had stood for years, looming, rusting, and listing prominently in the background of every otherwise scenic garden view and photograph. It had to go and it did. Big job. Cut my hands repeatedly on unseen metal burs, but, except for having to pull old landscape fabric from under Pompeii-like strata of soil, it fought its demise with a little less resistance than expected.

The old hoop house/ship wreck had earned its place in the next life.

I thought I’d experience an emotional moment at its loss. I’d learned a lot growing plants back there, reared loads and loads of rare and favorite plant material, some of which bought favor and friends when I shared them with gardeners and horticulturists I admired. And, in fact, I was overwhelmed with an emotion when it was gone. Pure euphoria. I had no idea how much I’d come to hate that thing. It’s removal felt better than playing hooky.

Of course, the best time to return to veggie gardening after a 27 year hiatus is in the middle of the rushiest spring rush that ever lived.

But that joy was not long for this world. Not when I was confronted by that big blank weedy place where the hoop house had lived. Not as ugly as it had been, but still ugly enough to give carloads of judgmental garden tour strangers a lot to talk about. So I laid waste to the weeds and built raised beds for vegetables, doing my damnedest to make them look better than almost all of those other raised beds for vegetables I’ve seen. Several trips to Home Depot for wood and hardware, truckloads of soil harrowingly wheel-barrowed along a bumpy and narrow path around the swimming pool, and a last-minute scattering of straw in the paths, and, son of a…, it actually looked just like I’d hoped: not quite as ugly as those other vegetable beds I’ve seen.

More night gardening yields an okay shot with a Pixel II. Great camera. Terrible phone.

After about half a dozen big projects like this and hundreds of little ones, we were about two weeks out from the tour and I started feeling a little better. You might even say confident. Perhaps a bit cocky. May had come, things had greened up, and all the plants I’d forgotten I had were reappearing, covering ground, screening ugliness, and some even went into bloom.

The mossy step project. A slippery slope of grassy mud that spilled down into the backyard was deemed too hazardous for old people, so old railroad ties from the hoop house were re-purposed into stairs. Only the last one was too high, so a mossy step was conceived and somewhat successfully executed, but it was one of many time-consuming ad hoc projects, and proved in the end almost as slippery as the grassy mud.

Heady in this moment, I heard these words leave my mouth, cross through air, and go into my son’s ears, “Hey, why don’t you have your (upcoming) wedding in our garden?” Whoa. I knew my mistake immediately and wanted nothing more than to suck those words right back out of the universe and into my chest, but, alas, they’d been said. And they’d been heard. And Tom seemed excited by the idea.

Despite record rainfall, plant life somehow still emerged itself out of March’s primordial ooze.

He and his fiancee had been planning their June 1st wedding as a guerrilla ceremony, to be held surreptitiously at a small, backwater Cincinnati Park that overlooked the river. This way they could avoid notifying the park district, the associated bureaucracy, and the rental payment. While we all thought looking out for the cops would lend a certain urgent element of adventure to the event, but it also meant parking would be difficult and conditions for our older loved ones could prove life-threatening if the rain didn’t let up and the grass didn’t get cut.

The open little glade that seemed just right for a wedding.

A fawn found in the garden the morning of the wedding was perceived as a sign of fertility.

Long story short, we hosted the wedding, and it’s mind-blowing the vast amount of space that exists between “garden tour worthy” and “wedding ready.” May 19th to June 1st, there I was again, out in the yard, gardening like a mofo. Literally, and I mean literally, 3:15 PM day of the wedding, guests in the yard, and I’m dashing between them, head to foot in filth, trying to get inside for a quick shower in time for the 4:00 PM start.

Mother and son the day before.

But, gotta tell you, weeks of rain and gray skies opened up that afternoon to a glorious blue sky with billowing white clouds that towered like mountains in the sun. And, the wedding was perfect! A sweet, happy, beautiful couple, lovely self-written vows, pretty bridesmaids, and, hell, even the groomsmen looked good enough in their tuxes and all lined up in a row. And the garden? Well, it was far from perfect, but it strutted its stuff knowing it had never ever looked better. It made a splendid backdrop for the wedding and the photos.

The happy bride and her loving father. Laying that runner with filthy hands was the last job I did.

The ceremony,and a hodgepodge of anything I could buy in bloom and stuff into the bed in the foreground. Background held down by big leaf magnolias.

Afterwards, we all adjourned to the Irish Heritage Center for a night of delirious fun and celebration.

Michele and I, partying like people a fraction of our ages and having the time of our lives!

Back home, joyous, exhausted, and plunging straight into illness.

Next day, with all that we could do done, my wife Michele and I both woke up sick as can be. She had a sore throat and congestion. I had full-on aches and pains. No matter the symptoms, I knew we both had the bends because we had decompressed too hard.

Never was any good at container design, but this year I raised my game a little.

Now, still a little buzzed on this meager success, I’m already thinking about signing up for next year’s garden tour. It seems I just have this need for high-stakes, stress, and tales of adventure with happy endings And I’ve never been any good at learning from my mistakes.

In almost 40 years together, I’ve never seen her so beautiful.

A Spring for the Ages; Endurance, Rainfall, Beauty, Raw Nerves, Blind Panic, and Two Cases of the Bends originally appeared on GardenRant on June 18, 2019.

from Gardening https://www.gardenrant.com/2019/06/a-spring-for-the-ages-endurance-rainfall-beauty-raw-nerves-blind-panic-and-two-cases-of-the-bends.html via http://www.rssmix.com/

[turfandlawncare]

A Spring for the Ages; Endurance, Rainfall, Beauty, Raw Nerves, Blind Panic, and Two Cases of the Bends

Yeah, that’s about describes my Spring.  Yours?

It all started with a misguided nod to appear on our Township’s Garden Tour. Did this sometime last Winter.  I’d been drinking. When our garden didn’t appear on the first draft of the flyer, did I take it as a sign? Nope. A smart person would have laid low and slipped out of that commitment like it was a time share they’d been sold, but not me. Being the same impaired idiot who had agreed to the idea in the first place, I reminded the Township.

The best image I could find of my garden in March.

The second prettiest March pic of my garden.

3 of 3 of March photos. Sea of mud. Just enough life emerging to keep one from hijacking a bus.

Our garden had been on the tour several years ago but the intervening years have had their share of drama with the most carefree and joyous parts of our lives and all but the most basic of garden maintenance finding themselves shoved to the side like a road killed raccoon in the path of a snowplow.  But, you know hope springs eternal. It was a new year, a different time, and I told myself, “Hey, this will be fun. And it will motivate you to make some of those improvements you’ve been thinking about.” Yep. That’s what I told myself.

Sloppy selfie.

Of course, it did do that. Just like it almost killed me. For whatever delusional reason, I failed to factor into the decision-making process that my life would remain just the same as it’s always been—a lurching, noisy, rickety, breathlessly busy, confused and confusing, poorly conceived extended round of experimental performance art liberally embellished with unpleasant surprises at inopportune moments. Somehow, I had forgotten that.

Spring comes in increments, and little things sometimes distract you momentarily from the overall ugliness and all the work that must be done.

Meh. Ugh.

And there is nothing like a looming garden tour to sober you right up real fast. First walk-through after you’ve agreed to such a thing and, bam, there you are–clear-eyed, stammering, and horrified, seeing your garden from the viewpoint of carloads of judgmental strangers. Make this walk-through like I did in March–that most hopelessly depressing, mercilessly ugly, butthole-with-a disease month of the year–and it’s the horticultural equivalent to waking up with some person you hooked up with at a dive bar deep into the early morning hours of the previous night. So you do the only things that come to mind. First you drink. Then you cry. Finally, you beseech the Almighty for an asteroid to come screaming out of the sky and smash all your years of bad ideas, lousy plant choices, inexplicable design decisions, ill-advised gardening practices, plastic containers, fake flamingos, and scuzzy gazing balls into tiny burning fragments that all fall on top of your neighbor’s boat.

Well, okay.

And a late night of work rewarded by a decent scene in the fading light.

But you know from long experience that God has a very spotty record of answering your prayers and that your luck isn’t good enough to guide a comet in on its own, so you do the only thing you can: you go outside and garden like hell. Like some nervous dervish all ramped up on speed. Rinse and repeat, you’re doing this from mid-March to May 19th, every night after work until it’s too dark to tell garlic mustard from poison ivy and every weekend from the crack of dawn to long after dark. Dehydrated most of the time, of course. And you have to fit this in and around record rainfall, a pair of weekend trips you’d committed to previously, and a bunch of appointments and presentations that wind up eating 15 weeknights and about six weekend days.

Neither aminal was much help. Martin, The Heart of Darkness, just distracted us with his constant plotting of our doom.

And Zaku, the blind old dog, kept himself busy by walking on every perennial just as it went into bloom.

I won’t go into every gory detail about every dumb mistake, disturbing discovery, and newfound deep disappointment, but I will tell you, as an example, about removing my old nursery hoop house. It had stood for years, looming, rusting, and listing prominently in the background of every otherwise scenic garden view and photograph. It had to go and it did. Big job. Cut my hands repeatedly on unseen metal burs, but, except for having to pull old landscape fabric from under Pompeii-like strata of soil, it fought its demise with a little less resistance than expected.

The old hoop house/ship wreck had earned its place in the next life.

I thought I’d experience an emotional moment at its loss. I’d learned a lot growing plants back there, reared loads and loads of rare and favorite plant material, some of which bought favor and friends when I shared them with gardeners and horticulturists I admired. And, in fact, I was overwhelmed with an emotion when it was gone. Pure euphoria. I had no idea how much I’d come to hate that thing. It’s removal felt better than playing hooky.

Of course, the best time to return to veggie gardening after a 27 year hiatus is in the middle of the rushiest spring rush that ever lived.

But that joy was not long for this world. Not when I was confronted by that big blank weedy place where the hoop house had lived. Not as ugly as it had been, but still ugly enough to give carloads of judgmental garden tour strangers a lot to talk about. So I laid waste to the weeds and built raised beds for vegetables, doing my damnedest to make them look better than almost all of those other raised beds for vegetables I’ve seen. Several trips to Home Depot for wood and hardware, truckloads of soil harrowingly wheel-barrowed along a bumpy and narrow path around the swimming pool, and a last-minute scattering of straw in the paths, and, son of a…, it actually looked just like I’d hoped: not quite as ugly as those other vegetable beds I’ve seen.

More night gardening yields an okay shot with a Pixel II. Great camera. Terrible phone.

After about half a dozen big projects like this and hundreds of little ones, we were about two weeks out from the tour and I started feeling a little better. You might even say confident. Perhaps a bit cocky. May had come, things had greened up, and all the plants I’d forgotten I had were reappearing, covering ground, screening ugliness, and some even went into bloom.

The mossy step project. A slippery slope of grassy mud that spilled down into the backyard was deemed too hazardous for old people, so old railroad ties from the hoop house were re-purposed into stairs. Only the last one was too high, so a mossy step was conceived and somewhat successfully executed, but it was one of many time-consuming ad hoc projects, and proved in the end almost as slippery as the grassy mud.

Heady in this moment, I heard these words leave my mouth, cross through air, and go into my son’s ears, “Hey, why don’t you have your (upcoming) wedding in our garden?” Whoa. I knew my mistake immediately and wanted nothing more than to suck those words right back out of the universe and into my chest, but, alas, they’d been said. And they’d been heard. And Tom seemed excited by the idea.

Despite record rainfall, plant life somehow still emerged itself out of March’s primordial ooze.

He and his fiancee had been planning their June 1st wedding as a guerrilla ceremony, to be held surreptitiously at a small, backwater Cincinnati Park that overlooked the river. This way they could avoid notifying the park district, the associated bureaucracy, and the rental payment. While we all thought looking out for the cops would lend a certain urgent element of adventure to the event, but it also meant parking would be difficult and conditions for our older loved ones could prove life-threatening if the rain didn’t let up and the grass didn’t get cut.

The open little glade that seemed just right for a wedding.

A fawn found in the garden the morning of the wedding was perceived as a sign of fertility.

Long story short, we hosted the wedding, and it’s mind-blowing the vast amount of space that exists between “garden tour worthy” and “wedding ready.” May 19th to June 1st, there I was again, out in the yard, gardening like a mofo. Literally, and I mean literally, 3:15 PM day of the wedding, guests in the yard, and I’m dashing between them, head to foot in filth, trying to get inside for a quick shower in time for the 4:00 PM start.

Mother and son the day before.

But, gotta tell you, weeks of rain and gray skies opened up that afternoon to a glorious blue sky with billowing white clouds that towered like mountains in the sun. And, the wedding was perfect! A sweet, happy, beautiful couple, lovely self-written vows, pretty bridesmaids, and, hell, even the groomsmen looked good enough in their tuxes and all lined up in a row. And the garden? Well, it was far from perfect, but it strutted its stuff knowing it had never ever looked better. It made a splendid backdrop for the wedding and the photos.

The happy bride and her loving father. Laying that runner with filthy hands was the last job I did.

The ceremony,and a hodgepodge of anything I could buy in bloom and stuff into the bed in the foreground. Background held down by big leaf magnolias.

Afterwards, we all adjourned to the Irish Heritage Center for a night of delirious fun and celebration.

Michele and I, partying like people a fraction of our ages and having the time of our lives!

Back home, joyous, exhausted, and plunging straight into illness.

Next day, with all that we could do done, my wife Michele and I both woke up sick as can be. She had a sore throat and congestion. I had full-on aches and pains. No matter the symptoms, I knew we both had the bends because we had decompressed too hard.

Never was any good at container design, but this year I raised my game a little.

Now, still a little buzzed on this meager success, I’m already thinking about signing up for next year’s garden tour. It seems I just have this need for high-stakes, stress, and tales of adventure with happy endings And I’ve never been any good at learning from my mistakes.

In almost 40 years together, I’ve never seen her so beautiful.

        A Spring for the Ages; Endurance, Rainfall, Beauty, Raw Nerves, Blind Panic, and Two Cases of the Bends originally appeared on GardenRant on June 18, 2019.

from GardenRant http://bit.ly/2IQNKOY