#the last one also exists in shitty meme format

[callmeahopelesscase]

... 'cause I can't help it if you look like an angel, can't help it if I wanna kiss you in the rain, so

Kimchay × Taylor Swift

Episode 8 as Hey Stephen

[others]

Extra (bc I can't not):

All those other girls, well, they're beautiful...

(for @scattered-stardust I hope you like it)

[not-poignant]

Thinking about the post on media and film distribution I added to yesterday, what I forgot to add is simply that a lot of you now spend the hours that you would have once spent on cinema and television on Tiktok and Reels and (to a degree) YouTube. If you know you spend 1-3 hours on Tiktok each day, well, in the 90s, nothing like that existed. You only had books, cinema, television, radio. So people weren't hyping memes and random dances and Good Emu Person and Shitty Emu Person etc. and everything folks talked about - even on early internet - when it came to mass media, centred on those specific forms of mass media.

Cinema will never ever be the same again so long as people give 12+ hours of their week to Tiktok / Instagram and similar sites, instead of cinema and television. You can't cry out for a golden age that's gone when it's gone because the audiences moved on. The fact is, one of the most common media watching memes on places like Tumblr is a version of 'everyone is recommending shows or movies to me and I don't have the time / energy / inclination to watch them.'

I'm part of this, I spend a lot more time on Tiktok than I do watching television or cinema, and this obviously only applies to the folks who do spend huge chunks of time scrolling through short pieces on the internet. And there's also nothing wrong with that until you go 'omg why aren't we getting shows like we used to / why is fandom so different now / why aren't we having these experiences anymore.'

You took the time and investment away, and that's why. It's way easier to get rabidly hyped in a fandom if you don't have Tiktok, or YouTube, or Instagram**, because what's left over (film, television, etc.) is all you have. And that's a pretty huge and significant reason why a) the budgets for film and TV are smaller (overall, it's similarly extreme on the other end, re: Sandman and Marvel etc. But I'm including everything here) and b) fandoms aren't as huge or long-lasting as they used to be.

I'm still noodling on this, and obviously there are a lot of factors going on here (many of which I went into yesterday, it's so fucking opaque to say 'we don't have films like we used to' because like, we do, people just don't know where to find them anymore, what we don't have is indie films hitting the zeitgeist like they used to, which is a different issue and it's multifactorial, and some of it is that people are now screaming about Emmanuel the Emu instead of the latest indie movie that came out). But I do think where Tiktok is making billions off of people, those billions are not going to more 'classic' forms of mass media.

If you want it, you have to give it your time. It's that simple.

** (Obviously these things can also be used as tools for fandom, it's just so much of fandom has also now ported over to transformative works around real people (i.e. dueting / stitching / replying / remixing / meme-ing etc. are all a form of transformative work that take time and labour, they're just different to what we classically think of as transformative works) and/or Tiktok fandom moves really fast by the nature of the format).

[daesungindistress]

A message I received today (she wanted it published):

“Hi! I was browsing the bigbang tag here when i found your account and I had a pretty interesting evening reading your blog! Imagine my surprise when I found out you were the RcA of carnivores...... i was surprised then not at all because I remember writing you a monstrously long review then you replying me with an even longer reply XD In that spirit, I shall give my 2 cents

i saw your various posts about seungrigate, in particular the hyungline's prophecizing abilities. To preface this, I don't support Seungri and I'm not a OT5 stan but I think these videos, while chilling to watch in the aftermath of seungrigate events, have become overblown in some sort of Bigbang history revisionism

The truth is, if GD really thought Seungri was going to go to jail, or had any side illegal activities, he definitely wouldn't have aired his views in front of cameras, in a DVD recording available to everyone. Similar reasoning to every other incidence of 'prophecizing' the hyungs did. If the hyungs really suspected Seungri's club was out drugging and raping women, the stupidest way to have resolved it would have been to take it to TV. Not to mention how suddenly chilling it is if the hyungs actually did know and were complicit in the crimes, which I feel like a lot of these prophecy video retweeters don't consider.

At best, they thought (and I too thought at that time) that Seungri was maybe making bad money decisions, Lee Sangmin style.

I think its comforting to think the signs were always there, that the hyungs warned him but he didn't listen, that their relationships were fraught because of the whole Seungri never eats with us memes, that he was never a good person and he showed it all along but the fans shoved their head under the sand. But to characterize him as a 2D villain so that we don't have to struggle to reconcile the person we idolized before, and the crimes he's accused of now is only a disservice to us.

Seungri wasn't the only one who skipped out on dinners- TOP had that habit before Seungri, and i think it was even mentioned in Healing Camp (the whole gold medal thing). Seungri did like and love his hyungs unless he was the world's best actor. He talked Jiyong through things in 2009 when Jiyong read the comments asking him to comment suicide and cried on phone. He cried on Jiyong for 20 minutes in 2012 because he was disappointed in a hyung he idolized letting him down with the marijuana scandal. He texted Daesung within one minute on that Japanese show when he said he needed help, and cheered him up when he was dying of nerves before his concert. He saved Todae from getting hit by fireworks in Malaysia by physically hauling them away. When TOP was represented by a tower in variety shows, Seungri blatantly mentioned his name in Radio Star when everyone pretended he didn't exist. The kid we knew existed. It's just that there was another, more insidious side to him too. This is NOT a defence of Seungri, I just think there's been a lot of revisionism going on lately, about his character and his relationship with the band. Seungri is a shitty criminal, but sadly a criminal who did love his hyungs and fans in some way. Not everything that happened in the last 12 years is fake.

i remember feeling very grateful when Seungri showed up in Act 3 Motte and hugged Jiyong and Jiyong smiled for the first time in that whole damn tour. Jiyong loved that boy, and mentioned he was family to him so many times. Jiyong was the most attached to Seungri IMO (I guess since they were roommates back then and all), but Taeyang called him up in the military when he only had one call, forgoing his own damn wife. I think, the truly heartbreaking thing about this, is that Seungri was loved by his hyungs, and he did love his hyungs too.”

***

Do you know how many asks it would have taken to get this message to me had you gone that route after all? LOL, alright, here’s my reply (some of which will be behind a cut to save y’all’s dashboards). I’ll quote the parts I want to address in italics.

“The truth is, if GD really thought Seungri was going to go to jail, or had any side illegal activities, he definitely wouldn't have aired his views in front of cameras, in a DVD recording available to everyone.”

That's what we all thought too... and that's why we didn't take any of it seriously and casually wrote most of it off as jokes, bullying, teasing, playing, etc. And while I'm sure it was that in a way, at least in part, you know what they say: there's a grain of truth in every joke (or "a little bit of truth behind every 'just kidding'").

Many fans are also taking this as a sign of how serious the others were becoming in their warnings to him, as if they felt it was the only way to get through to him. I'm sure they had private conversations off-camera, but if they were williing to do it publicly? On national TV? (Radio Star, for example.) That appears to say something about the weight of their concerns and their attempts to reach him. (Also keep in mind that they've said they rarely saw him outside of band activities, that he was always running off as soon as events with them had ended, so who knows... maybe they felt that on camera was the only real chance they had to catch him and address him in person. Maybe they felt like it was the only way he would listen. So many maybes.)

Another thing: TOP's rather astute comments about Seungri's friends (that they seemed like bad people, that they were using him, that they weren't his true friends but were only attracted to his fame, etc)... I personally would not have said those things where the public could hear them were I in his position. There's nothing joking about it, nothing at all. He was very direct in his delivery and it was not something that could be laughed away even if you tried.

“If the hyungs really suspected Seungri's club was out drugging and raping women, the stupidest way to have resolved it would have been to take it to TV. Not to mention how suddenly chilling it is if the hyungs actually did know and were complicit in the crimes, which I feel like a lot of these prophecy video retweeters don't consider.”

Okay everyone, listen up. This is important. In all these videos being referenced by fans in recent days, it's not possible that the hyungs were hinting at the drugging and assault that occurred at "Seungri's club" (I still hesitate to call it that) because Burning Sun did not yet exist when these things were being said. The club Burning Sun opened in February 2018. The last time BB were together as a group (as four -- GD, YB, Daesung, Seungri) was during their Japan Dome Tour in December 2017. And TOP? January 2017.

(read the rest behind the cut)

Further information: GD enlisted in late February 2018 and YB & Daesung enlisted less then a month later in mid March. Burning Sun opened in February 2018 and closed a year later in February 2019 during Burning Sun gate. The videos floating around in which the hyungs appear to warn Seungri come primarily from their 2017 Welcoming Collection (filmed in late 2016), Run BIGBANG Scout (shot in summer 2016), and from various concerts and fanmeetings throughout 2016-2017.

It is true that people do need to be very cautious when speculating about just how much the others knew about what Seungri & Co got up to, seeing as how, when it comes to this type of crime, awareness of the crime can be quite damning in and of itself. But once you take these dates into account, I think the others should be fairly safe from that kind of dangerous speculation. The question then becomes, how much did they know about what Seungri & Co got up to in their own time?

That I’m not overly worried about. They made it quite clear on several occasions that they hated his friends. Why would they have had any involvement with them? And it’s difficult to imagine Seungri inviting them in, so to speak, knowing how they were always scolding him for one thing or another. The way I see it, he found his own flock and kept a tight formation. Birds of a feather and all that.

“At best, they thought (and I too thought at that time) that Seungri was maybe making bad money decisions, Lee Sangmin style.”

This is the assumption most fans seem to be going with. Additionally, they may have had some ideas about his treatment of women as well, especially taking into account his 2012 sex scandal with a Japanese woman in which he allegedly choked her during sex, never kissed her, and threw a towel at her when he was done (and after which Youngbae and Daesung moved in with him, evidently to keep an eye on him and help set him straight. I don’t know how much truth there is to this, but I’ve read that he seemed proud in the scandal’s aftermath because hey, people were finally viewing him as an adult. Talk about embracing one's bad boy image.)

On that note: if he was in fact proud of himself for getting caught up in a sex scandal back then because he felt like it made him more of a man, then what must he be feeling now? Bearing in mind the influence of his less-than-reputable friend group of the last few years? He's currently under suspicion of hooking up with prostitutes and offering them to his investors to grow his business, among other things. The public is calling him a pimp (not totally accurate but ok). His conduct lately is not that of a person who feels he's done anything wrong. He might even feel a little, well... pleased with himself. Hence that small but self-satisfied grin he's been wearing everywhere lately.

Hmm... Just some thoughts.

“But to characterize him as a 2D villain so that we don't have to struggle to reconcile the person we idolized before, and the crimes he's accused of now is only a disservice to us.”

I’m sorry you see it this way because that's not my intent at all. My goal is not to paint him as a villain but to simply show that the signs of trouble were there and to suggest that perhaps we shouldn't be as surprised as we are about recent revelations. That this isn't really coming at us -- or at the rest of BB for that matter -- completely out of the blue. I don't know about you, but I find that comforting. Understanding what went wrong and when helps me to better come to terms with what's happened here, and I've been hearing from quite a few others lately who say it's helped them too. It also reinforces my confidence in OT4′s ability to carry on, because if they expected him to leave them in the near future, it stands to reason that they had been mentally and emotionally readying themselves for it. We the fans are hurting enough; the last thing I want right now is for the members of BB to be hurting too.

I'm also hope my readers don’t think I’m suggesting that Seungri was never a good person or never did anything good for anyone. That’s not it at all. Nothing is ever that black and white. I won’t forget them or try to erase them, it’s just that right now I'm not very interested in reflecting on the “good times”... and I think most would agree. Those acts of kindness you're referencing in 2009, 2011, 2012, 2013... you might have noticed that I've been focusing on conversations between the guys that took place in 2016 onward. Between MADE era and the present day. Alive era, Tonight era... I'm not interested in examining those years, because I'm concentrating on the period of time after Seungri met his new circle of friends (Jung Joonyoung, Choi Jonghoon, Yoo In Suk, etc) and began spending more time with them than with the rest of BB. I'm certainly not implying that Seungri was always this way, but I do believe he had the potential to become it given the right -- or should I say wrong influences. And he found those influences. Or should I say they found him?

Now, this is just speculation, but BB's popularity exploded immensely during Alive in 2012.  After that the members of BB went their separate ways for a time to work on solo projects. They came together periodically for YG family tours, I know that much, but it wasn't until MADE in 2015 that they were promoting as five again. It can probably be assumed that it was during that absence when Seungri ~fell in with this bad crowd~ (I hate to use that phrase because it seems to absolve him of responsibility for his actions, but let’s just go with it for a sec). I suspect the sharp rise in fame went to his head and he became... let’s just say susceptible.

(If there are any Seungri stans still here, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong about the timeline or chime in with additional info. My knowledge of what the members were up to between Alive and MADE is pretty murky, seeing as I wasn't "there" for it in real time.)

“When TOP was represented by a tower in variety shows, Seungri blatantly mentioned his name in Radio Star when everyone pretended he didn't exist.”

Someone brought this up in an ask that I haven't answered (sorry anon!). While it's entirely possible that he did this out of the goodness of his own heart, it's also possible that he did it because he knew it was what the fans wanted... and Seungri is nothing if not good at giving people what they want. It might not have had anything to do with TOP's feelings at all. I also wonder if YB calling him while in the military may have been done more out of concern than affection -- i.e., checking in on him to make sure he stayed out of trouble.

...and that's if Seungri's story is even to be believed, i.e., "He called me instead of his wife, can you believe it?!" Seungri is not above using the others to draw eyes to himself and prop up his own popularity (as he did when he name dropped GD constantly during his Great Seungri promotions), and given the others' comments about him exaggerating and even flat-out making up stories that haven’t a shred of truth for attention... just saying I wouldn't put anything past him at this point.

“The kid we knew existed. It's just that there was another, more insidious side to him too.”

That's really all it boils down to. Although I don't much care for calling him a "kid" anymore. I know he likes to play up the cute maknae role and all when it benefits him, but it's never sat well with me because, well... dude's a grown man, and calling him "kid" in light of recent events feels very wrong. That "kid" image is long gone, and I say good riddance. (For the record, I don't much like it when the others go all aegyo on each other either; with them now in their late 20s - early 30s, I have to say it's gotten a little weird.)

“Seungri is a shitty criminal, but sadly a criminal who did love his hyungs and fans in some way. Not everything that happened in the last 12 years is fake. ... I think, the truly heartbreaking thing about this, is that Seungri was loved by his hyungs, and he did love his hyungs too.”

I believe in... their love for him to varying degrees. Some were closer than others, of course. This is why, in a previous post, I said that I won't be surprised if some of them decide to stay in Seungri's life as a positive influence behind the scenes. However, at the same time, I won't be surprised if they choose not to. The thing is, you can still remain friends with someone but recognize that the two of you just don't work well together anymore in a, well, work environment. The bonds of friendship are important, yes, but as I think we've seen lately... it isn't everything.

With what we know now, I believe that the tension we've seen building between Seungri and the other members over the last few years was rooted in Seungri losing his passion for music as his obsession with wealth and power took over. Greed got the best of him. And I’m sure he was frustrated; there were things he wanted from Big Bang that Big Bang could not give him.

Although his hyungs surely still cared for him, more or less, I can see why in the last few years they may have been uncomfortable continuing to work with him if they felt that he was staying for all the wrong reasons. If you're going to be part of a group of artists like this one, it helps with group morale, to be confident in the knowledge that you all share a common interest and are working toward a common goal. If the others' goal was in expressing themselves through their craft -- music and dance -- and connecting with the fans through their work, while Seungri saw it primarily as a means to an end (i.e., "It's just a paycheck") then yeah. I'd have found myself getting pretty irritated with him too.

In the end, you can care for someone and still distance yourself from them, for an abundance of reasons. I think many of us have been there with loved ones ourselves... and I believe that's what we're going to see happen in the coming months when the others come back. Hell, it's been happening for years right under our noses; the difference now is they don't have to try to hide it anymore.

[imadeletingmysocials]

My scores for E3, because apparently now i’m a dumb 4channer who thinks this /v/ meme shit matters, like it’s not gonna affect sales or anything it’s pointless as all hell [this is lenghy, but hear me out ok]

EA: 

4/10 - people will probably play the games regardless of how shitty this presentation was but... It felt pretty insulting. 

Battlefield V is probably gonna make a lot of money regardless cuz people like war games and it seems pretty well done, the more footage they have shown seemed better than their weird advertizement that made world war 2 seem very wacky, which honestly regardless if you’re a sexist neckbeard or not, seemed like a poor advertizement move. 

TinyBuild:

No one watched this lol and it was just 1 GAME and a fun cute musical that made people who aren’t strong enough to musicals die, 6/10 because it made nerds die and their song is catchy, i dont really care about their 1 game.

Microsoft:

 9/10 - I'm giving this much of a high score because I would play practically almost all of these games showcased (they’ll probably be available on PC which I’m biased for cuz I have a gaming PC), no kidding, I pretty much liked everything I saw and it was fairly straight to the point. Many gamers don’t appreciate the finer details of each game and think they’re generic but that’s just fanboys who haven’t played a single game outside of their favorites. 

Also my cousin uses those Xbox One netflix rip offs that gives you games so i’m happy for him. The presentation had a lot of diamonds in the rough games that will I will probably appreciate more over time (they might even become cult classics like Metro or Dying Light) than any of other games at other e3s. As for the stuff I won’t be playing: It’s mostly harmless so eh.

There was an abundance of trailers! It was like one after the other, pure goodness, it seems as if they left out all of the Sports games to EA to present and the only thing they showed that might not be anyone’s cup of tea was “Forza”, but honestly? I appreciate it, it seems like a good racing game even if I’m not one to buy racing games.... But the more you think about the number of good games presented, the less you’ll think about that, I mean they showed DEVIL MAY CRY 5!!! 

...The Funko Pop game made me scream though.

Bethesda: 

8.5/10  I cannot deny that these are games I will want to play regardless if they’re good or not. Sad to see nerds not enjoy the opportunity to meet ANDREW W.K. but I’m glad all of the divisions they own are making sequels to stuff I already like, so pretty much Bethesda played it safe.

Devolver Digital:

 8/10 It’s like that one b-movie film your college students made and you had a laugh with creating.

Square Enix: 

5/10 seriously, 30 minues of just trailers? Most of which we saw?? I guess it could be worse but who uses E3 screentime for mostly MMORPG deals! The new stuff was too vague to be excited about too.

Ubisoft: 

7/10 - I liked it when they made funny quirky things and their games are probably gonna be okay like usual, Ubisoft has dedicated fans that like their collectathon games they release every year, and it’s usually that one game you play when you’re bored and got nothing else, it’s okay. 

Gamers hate fun and dancing and all that stuff but I kind of find stuff like that exciting, while nerds who never went outside and who are sensitive as all hell to any representation of fun find it “cringey”. A panda dabbed, and that settles it, Ubisoft was the only E3 Brave enough to dab this year. 

PC Game Conference (it was fairly long):

I know none of you watch this one cuz y’all fake as hell but listen... Fuck you LOL, these are the type of games people actually play over 400 hours and really get people’s money. Like these are games built to last that might be on the best-selling Steam front page for MONTHS, like how Frostpunk was comfirmed last year during this conference, PC Gaming has been known for sleeper hits that nobody knows about (because the attention goes to cinematic experiences on consoles most of the time) but suddently everyone’s playing it. 

PC gaming has always been an alternative lifestyle and seeing as many people didn’t watch this one, that just proves the point that it still relatively alternative. Maybe it’s because everyone sounds dumb as fuck when saying “PC GAMER MASTER RACE” and acting like an elitist. 

The PC Gaming conference is always more of a talk show than a regular E3 which is why I respect it every year, fuck the hyperactive gamers that just wanna see flashy trailers, this one’s more SOPHISTICATED!! It feels a lot more human and less artificial. Either way, lot’s of what you might’ve expected: Simulators and Survival games you’ll probably spend 3 years playing until they make a better minecraft clone. 

Gamers like to act as if they’re tired of Battle Royale (already? It’s a new fad it still is here to stay for a little more) but the numbers and success of it doesn’t lie that it isn’t a fad that proves itself to be highly tempting to try out for developers. Go cry to valve that they didn’t release Half-Life 3 cuz you haven’t played any other FPS game without even researching that Valve pretty much fired all of it’s developers and you’re just being annoying.

I feel as if I need to comment what I saw at this e3 cuz nobody watched, they made a mod I liked from skyrim into a fully-ass game, they’re rebooting Star Control which not a single gamer today knows of, the HP Lovecraft open world detective game also seems very good. YAKUZA IS COMING TO PC!!!!!!!!! Killing Floor 2 stuff, Road Redemption stuff, SHARK RPG, cute indie games, Jeff Goldblum was there, Wall-E with a gun in VR which seems to have promissing good vr design by Insomiac games (yes the spyro people), 2 games about Taxi driving... Like sure I think it’s a good format for story telling but.

A cell-shaded art game, star citizen is still being made, and it’s gone to the point nobody really wants it anymore even if it’s... Still being made you know? So most guys are wrong that it was gonna be canceled. After that was the technical graphic card stuff which gamers don’t have enough capability to understand, stuff like 9k laptops that SELL a lot mind you. Rich people love that technical stuff. 

A space defense sim game, Don’t Starve Sequel, Just Cause 4 detailed explanation of the engine, Overkill’s The Walking Dead gameplay which has been in development hell for years now now has a release date, I discovered Clementine’s voice actor is white... Go figure, a literal pixelated roguelike (not what you think it is, it’s Noita), 

Theme Hospital REBOOT!!!! YES!!!!!!!!! And the doctors were cute. Probably one of the funniest games presented... Followed by REALM ROYALE HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. That harvest moon clone with a cute art style is still being made: Ooblets, no release date sadly. Anno is still going, cyanide and happiness still exists? and they’re making a battle royale? lol okay. How was Hitman 2 not announced during Square Enix?? Anyways it’s here at the end, the trailer was amazing and it’s coming out this year. 

I don’t have that much strong feelings because it’s just a normal conference and not a special one you know? But I’ll give it a 8/10 or 7/10 im not sure cuz I seem to like most games and I found Frankie cute.

Sony: 

Yo usually Sony makes like a huuuuuuuge thing about their conferences (like this year they didn’t even showcase indie games) but this year they started from a church for the sake of immersion?? It reminded me a little of their first E3s during the 90s, and it almost felt like a indie gathering for musicians, I swear to god, Sony is borderline experimental trying to balance out their E3 across stages. Jeb played the banjo and people just ACCEPTED it... AND THEN someone played some JAPANESE FLUTE? aRT. It might come off as a bit arrogant for some tho.

Nerds hated it and thought it was bizzare, which is why it means it’s good. HAPPY PRIDE MONTH BITCHES. Anyways could have been a little more fast-paced... But then again when it was fast-paced it was just like: Huh? What was that? I’m a big Resident Evil Fangirl, RE2 was my childhood but ignoring that for a sec: finally, Death Stranding gameplay, remins me of shadow of the colossus but post-apocalpytic, survival horrorish and abstract sci-fi.

 Kind of feels more Metal Gear than MGSV did already Cuz Norman Reedus sounds like snake a lot more than the 24 hours guy, and because from what I’ve seen in the footage, someone acts like Otacon to “Sam”. I think most now can figure out the plotpoints of this game with what has been established. I might be a bit sad at the fact that this will be a PS4 exclusive just like Metal Gear Solid 4, which I still haven’t played fully because it’s PS3 exclusive and I only have a gaming PC. 

Also this E3 was surprisingly entirely SINGLE PLAYER, I sorta don’t believe in the “single player doesn’t exist” myth honestly, especially now. I’m not sure if that makes Sony’s E3 better or worse, maybe it needed more variation, like I’ve commented, usually they have an indie showcase which this year did not. There were few games shown but for what it was worth, it’s still interesting... But yeah just 5 games? No Spyro? (easy picking), nothing extra? I can understand why many people felt this E3 was upsetting.

8/10.

Nintendo

Here it is, the most overhyped developer of all of E3, the source of “Nintendo wins E3 by doing nothing” memes because Nintendo fans really don’t care about anything except Nintendo and then act surprised when they only care about Nintendo when they try to be a little more open-minded (and fail) even if other E3s probably make more games built to last in comparisson, cuz we gay people only care about NINTENDO YOU KNOW? Shade asside... 

I was pleasantly surprised this E3, it wasn’t just a series of okay at best releases, a strong 9/10. 

tHAT WAS WHAT I WROTE IN PREPRATION....

BUT THEN???? IT WAS JUST THAT??? NO PRIME 4 NO ANYTHING LIKE JUST 3 GAMES BASICALLY? (maybe there was 5 games but eh) I mean smash is good.. It’s pretty much just an update of the last smash, every character is REALLY FUCKING GOOD BUT.... JUST THAT? jeez.. Like, the only stuff I wanted from it was Mario Party and Smash... Okay maybe that 1 Mecha game. Also I guess fornite is now on Switch but I can play that anywhere else really.

I guess a 7/10 is all I can give to just Smash, if there was a little more I’d give it a 9/10 for sure but... ehh Just Smash? jeez, fuck... i MEAN I kind of get it, Nintendo doesn’t do “e3″ normally, they usually do 1 big game at E3 and then wait a couple of months to do that little seasonal announcement thing they do across the year, ugh.. Okay. Yeah I guess i shouldn’t have expected much. Still isn’t it weird that Miyamoto was in Ubisoft’s E3 but not this one??? what!

Anyways

[marsnmango]

Things that take me out of fanfiction (as a fanfiction writer)

Aside from the obvious (poor grammar, formatting errors, etc.) these are a few of the things that make me pause and reconsider whether or not I really want to continue reading the thing that I am reading. 

Mis-characterizations; it’s impossible to know with 100% certainty how a character is going to react in all scenarios, but some things are tough to overlook. Characters that are incredibly strong struggling with a weak enemy, for example- that sort of thing can be done, but you’d better set up the context correctly. Or it can throw (me) your reader off. If there’s a reason why your character’s behavior is diverging from what is canonically accurate, explain it! Don’t be afraid to just straight up say it. People (including myself) like to know what they’re in for when they start a fic. 

Inaccuracy. Now it is fiction, so lots of liberties can be taken with this, but if you cannot adequately describe something that your character should know how to do... it’s going to stand out. For example, if your character is a working adult, but you are not, and you do not know how to go to the bank and get cash out of it... Maybe avoid writing that specific scenario. Write around it. Describe it vaguely. 

Politics. You can tackle real issues through writing, if you know how to do it and can do it well. But please, please do not have one character mention [Real world (usually American) political figure] and have everyone else in the scene unanimously agree and rip on that political figure. Unless it’s something completely in-character and reasonable for everyone involved... Even if I agree with everything being said, it’s just annoying. 

Poor/Unrealistic Dialogue. Colloquialism is something that is naturally ingrained in every culture, but please try to keep in mind the differences in a conversation between 2 thirty year olds and 2 teenagers. When I read a story featuring a supposed adult, who speaks as if he is a freshman in high school giving a power point presentation for the first time... it’s. weird

Memes. That’s right, I said memes. I love memelords just as much as the next guy, but unless it’s a story that is very clearly focused on something that would involve that subject matter, I don’t want memes. First of all, fanfiction becomes outdated, fast. A Damn Daniel meme is going to 1. date your story and 2. completely throw me for a loop in your story that is based in Ancient Egypt. The 2 second chuckle from a handful of readers is not worth it. 

Non-existent/Unrealistic Consequences. Problems do not magically go away overnight. In order to avoid leaving any loose ends, list off the primary list of problems that your protagonists are going through. Then when you write the conclusion, double check that it eliminates or addresses each of these problems; whether or not they’re going to persist after the story ends or whatever else the deal might be. If a character struggles with addiction (for example)--make sure the conclusion mentions something about how the character is going to handle (or has handled) this problem. 

Handling tough subject matter lazily. This is tricky for anyone, but if you have never experienced a traumatic situation, but your intention is to portray this situation as realistically as possible... do some research. If it’s a little outside of the realm of reality (parents murdered by shark wolves), research the stages of grief. How people within your protagonist’s age group cope with it and how they don’t, and whether or not your Granted, not all fanfiction strives to be as accurate as possible when it comes to trauma. Some people just genuinely love to torment the hell out of characters they like, and that’s fine- just preface it in the tags or summary. Trigger warnings help as well, that way people know to avoid reading about things that may draw overwhelming or unpleasant feelings. Or a past trauma, worst case scenario. 

Inconsistency. Your dragon-queen alpha wizard raven way had the regeneration ability 3 chapters ago, but now that she lost her hand it’s suddenly the end of the world? If this is the case, there needs to be a reason why it is true this time but wasn’t every other time. You can bend the rules, but make sure there’s a reason (even a ham-fisted one) why they’re being bent. 

Poor/Lazy Characterization. This sort of goes hand-in-hand with inconsistency. If a character is an asshole, who is proudly an asshole and nothing but an asshole... he’s not going to tip his waitress? He’s not going to internally monologue about how the servers work hard and deserve to be paid well, unless he is genuinely a decent person on the inside. Even if the author does this in an attempt to allude to the fact that he is going to become a better person later on, there are better ways to go about it. Your asshole-character would likely be more subtle in his approach, or use misdirection. Throwing a crumpled up $1 bill at a waitress is far more likely and expected of bratty/asshole behavior... “But at least they left a tip?” Not-so-Slow Burns. If you sign up for a slow burn, it might be helpful to focus on the slice-of-life behavior and how the characters gradually get closer throughout. If you rush straight into the romance, it’s not a very slow burn. They don’t generally start feeling doki-doki true love by the third total encounter they’ve ever had in their entire lives. Sometimes, maybe. But handle with care, and keep in mind that people need time to change. If they’re refraining from a relationship or whatever because MC 1 is anti-humanity, your MC isn’t going to become a people-loving pope overnight. A timeskip might help you out there, but it’s risky if it’s unexpected or random. I AM NOT THE FUN POLICE. In the end, even if you borrow the characters- your story is your story. I’ve done almost every single thing on this list, some things more frequently than others depending on the nature of my story. You are allowed to do whatever you want and have as much fun as you want. I’m offering this list mostly to the people who want to receive feedback, because I’ve been there. You’ve finally got your grammar down. You’re working on your vocabulary and formatting and yet..... you still don’t feel any growth or significant change in your audience. It can be frustrating. Making a note of these things and how often you do them will help you to gain a more enthusiastic audience about your work. People like to read fanfiction that feels as though it could stand on its own. This is especially helpful for those fanfiction authors who want to publish their own novels someday.  Also, not all of this falls on the responsibility of the author. If an author consistently updates their tags/summary/notes, etc, then there’s no reason that a reader should walk into a Slow-Burn and expect hasty passionate smut in chapter 2. Or read a story titled “THE GORE OF WAR” and complain about...y’know, gore. Most readers tend to have a pretty good grasp on what the atmosphere of a story is going to by the first paragraph. And the atmosphere may change over time, which is fine! Just keep your readers in mind before your lollipops & sunshine rom-com becomes a last minute zombie apocalypse. Maybe make a note of that in the notes; give people a chance to bail, and trust me, you want them to bail. 1 more hit on your work isn’t worth the 3-paged flame you’re about to receive.  Above all, just have fun and keep writing. The more you write and the more willing you are to constantly adapt to feedback/growth, the better your work is going to become! Nobody starts off writing like R.R. Martin. He probably started off with really shitty star trek slash. 

[forochel]

I know this is cheating but for the 500 word questions for the Directors cut, but could I ask for your favorite scenes from "I wanna feel you from the Inside". It's one of my favorite of yours, not just because of it's filthy goodness, but because of how much Viktor worships and adores and desires and all the after care Vik gives Yuuri. It's like a really porny love letter between them and I love it so much!

(for this meme)

thank you very much for your kind words, & I feel super bad bc I wrote that months ago and don’t really remember much.

I think probably the social media bits, because it’s the first time I played with formatting and “multimedia” in that way. I liked how it allowed me to scope out from the little sex den bubble that I have them in for most of the fic. outsider pov is always fun! 

Commentary under the cut:

Day 28

[Viktor’s wrapped in a wine-red scarf and has a plaid shirt on, trench coat open over it. His beard is full, the neck stubble expertly faded, and he actually looks his age for once. He’s twisted to face the photographer, a warm laugh in his eyes. A door is pushed half-open behind him; at half-height a large, fluffy poodle grins at the camera through the gap]

a) this is my #aesthetic; b) this was an excuse to describe all the fanart I wish existed; c) I had to learn about how to shave beards to write the bit of “expertly faded”. d) now that I live in Canada, I would write ‘flannel’ instead of ‘plaid shirt’. 

phichit+chu さん、他901 728 人が　「いいね！」しました

… I don’t remember why I decided that viktor’s insta would be in japanese. but I do remember it was a conscious decision .

v-nikiforov can’t believe it’s been almost 30 days! I’ve really connected with my inner lumberjack, but even when the beard goes, the connection will stay. Movember isn’t just for November - you can read more about their work here.

there was a lumberjack joke – to do with a charity calendar plotbunny @alykapediaaa & I have been nursing?? I think??? also please just imagine viktor performing “Iiiiii’m a lumberjack and i’m okay!”. 

also this is viktor at Peak PR. it was news to me too that Movember isn’t just for November. also I totally aped the whole “pets aren’t just for Christmas!” thing. 

we’ve reached almost half a million dollars in the last 28 days. Yuuri and I are excited to make that a full million, so please contribute to medical research about cancer here if you can! thank you for your amazing support from all over the world! )))))

#day 28 #movember #yuurikatsuki #imalumberjackandimokay #moisturise #beardoil #detroitgroomingco #corktowngroomingoil

gotta slide in his husbando there. also lol look at that monty python ref! couldn’t help myself. those are actual hipster beard oil companies. the googling I did, I tell you. ….also I thought long & hard about how much would be feasible for them to have collected & co-donate. there may have been some on-the-fly mathsing. 

他のコメントを表示：aleksandrovechkinofficial wow!!!is good playoff beard!! you are a real #icedaddy now хахахаха have donated my friend )))

my pet headcanon up until ovie did that whole shitty supporters of putin club thing was that he and viktor were total bros. but, you know, fu ovie. otoh i think the ice daddy thing is hilarious and so does fictional ovie. 

bearded_willows what kind of moisturiser do you use, man, asking for a friend.

really, insta user bearded_willows, ‘for a f riend’???

christophe-gc ah, but who will miss it more? ;)))v-nikiforovСпасибо @aleksandrovechkinofficial! @christophe-gc yuuri says “ CHRIS!!!!!!!!!! (〃ﾟдﾟ〃)”

i like to think that yuuri still has no insta presence and viktor is his personal social media secretary.

veni.vedi.victuuri paging @catskins, i need CPR

i’m very proud of “veni.vedi.victuuri”!!! and that was my brief little play on the recent fic tropes with fandom metacommentary! it was fun! 

thank you! 

[terriblevalveartandocs]

About Valve OCs and the blog

This has been on my mind for a while.

This blog never got a satisfying end in my books, and I’m sure for other readers as well. Even though closure is a myth perpetuated by mainstream media, I will make this post to try to rectify past mistakes and general truancy of this blog. I have my own suspicions that most of my readers are dead (considering all of the porn bots are now starting to follow me), so I write this post in the darkness of the night into the void that is Tumblr. Read my cry if you care.

Firstly, this blog will never update again. There are multiple factors that have led to this blog’s extinction and I think they’re important to address

Motivation

This blog took up a large chunk of my life back when it was active. Don’t get me wrong, bad art still gets me to cringe and I find myself on occasion still pining over weird ocs and art styles on Deviantart. However, maintaining it as a blog with daily updates became a chore for me along with promising critiques of ocs and such. I’ve come to discover that I can’t do what I love as “””work”””. While bad art still remains a passion for me, I don’t see myself continuing this in blog format.

OCs have changed

The OC market has changed. Base art has definitely taken a downturn in the past few years and you’re more likely to see people hand-drawing their ocs or writing them out. Thanks with the culture of memeing about bootleg fandom ocs (This is my own original character blonic, donut steels) , it seems that people are more drawn towards creating their own worlds and characters rather than shoving their mary sue into their current fan favorite content. These are good changes in terms of originality for artists and writers in my opinion.

However, a lot of the formats for OCs have changed as well. There tends to be an emphasis on their sexuality and race in OC culture now. I don’t consider that a bad thing but I’d rather not poke that hornet’s nest of gender identity and race of fictional characters. What used to be the standard straight, bi, gay has expanded into other territories that I am unfamiliar with and now we have more ocs outside of the standard white chick but with Japanese last name because the creator really likes naruto. Again, this just seems to be the trend and I think my last few revival posts kinda show them.

Valve as a games publisher

LOL when’s half life 3???

Valve has definitely moved from being a game developer to a digital distributor.  Steam definitely seems to be their focus outside of Hat/Weapon Skin collecting and online gambling (and also their weird consoles/controllers???). Not that I would continue this blog if they released more content (They published another update to the TF2 comic, can’t wait for that to get updated in a year).

Along with this slump of their own original content, this has led to a slump in original characters for their franchises. There are not as many fan ocs and art isn’t being produced for their franchises (except maybe with comic updates for TF2 and nostalgia for old games).

This blog was created at the optimal time imo with L4D2 still being fresh, TF2 still having an active userbase, and Portal 2 giving some great content in terms of creative material.

Also I’m not interested in reviewing Dota 2 art and I don’t think there are enough Counterstrike ocs.

Negativity

I don’t know if this blog was a source of positive or negative energy. On one hand, I was ridiculing people’s art without much hesitation and not acknowledging how much time and effort that might have been put in by the artist. But on the other hand, it provided laughs for people during its duration and gave me a creative outlet in terms of humor, arguments, and writing. I think I did my best to avoid any harassment for these artists by removing any watermarks that might lead any rude reader to them, but I’ll never know if they suffered any bullying. Obviously I’m not going to put this on my resume as work experience but I like to think that this blog help think critically about their content, regardless of what role you played on the blog be it me, a submitter, an observer, or the subject. Maybe if some supreme being questions why I started this blog in the afterlife, I can tell them I did it for the lolz.

In the end, I think I did more harm than any general good for the world and nobody will really understand that weird pain if I try to repent for it publicly. I don’t know of any key examples of this (or really remember because I haven’t done this shit in years), but I do apologize if I ruined anyone’s ambitions for writing/drawing.

I’m glad there is a stronger hugbox mentality for artists who aren’t very good and I embrace that style of encouragement. I guess my only concern is veering too far into that and just embracing everything as perfect and awesome and never improving. Criticism has its place in society.

Perhaps the real lesson is that who the hell gives a shit about what you post on the internet. Why should you give a stranger any control over how much your art is worth? However, this also gives the argument into determining if any of your art is worth anything based on your preconceived notions on your art’s merits since you are only a stranger to me. Why should you tell me that your art is valid and equal to anything else produced when it looks like you drew it with your tablet pen stuck up your ass?

Maybe we all just need to learn to stop giving invisible voices the power to ruin our emotional states and work on our self satisfaction.

Growing up????

I wrote most of this blog like a million years ago. It was a stronger part of my identity and a part of a community in a way of similar blogs in the same style. But I don’t really relate to the content as much I used to. Valve games are still near and dear to me, but they’re more nostalgic than my current flame and muse. I feel the same happened to other blogs in the same vein as mine. Perhaps also age and the changes of time led to our own focuses in our own lives than looking at the scribbles of some stranger on the internet. While it’s still one of my internet past times, it is not my main focus in life to critique bad art (unless it starts paying serious dosh). I just don’t relate to the words and passions anymore. In a way, this is my own cringe that artists produce when they’re young on Deviantart. It’s kind of funny in a weird way.

This blog will continue to remain up but I’ll probably move into another blog of some sort (I accidentally made this my primary blog and I can’t delete it). It sort of became my main lurking blog and I guess its time that I make a less weird not ghost blog (I’m probably confusing a lot of the people that I follow with my constant hearts and comments).

I guess I wanna say thanks for all of the people who followed this blog and its contents. I probably wouldn’t have continued for very long without followers so you’re all to blame for this negative impact I’ve made on the world (jkjk). I like to think we’re connected with our mutual spirit in improving how we create things and wanting to see improvement in others. I think this blog helped me see the dumbest of things and not be afraid to say it was dumb and I hope it did for you as well. I also hope it brought you laughs in the content that was displayed or the humor I attempted to convey. It did genuinely warm my heart whenever I got a heart, reply, reblog, or messages to keep up the work. It kind of makes me sad to think that I left rather abruptly, but better blogs have died quicker and quieter. Simple fact of life really. Thank god my ego keeps me in check to constantly remind people of my existence.

To any artists out there, bad art is a fact of life. You do not come out of the womb knowing how to do two point perspective and 3d shapes. You mess up doing 3d shapes each any every time until you get it and then move on to the next thing you’re not good at. There’s a common TIL leddit post about how Michaelangelo burnt all of his old works so nobody would know how bad he was when he was starting out. I don’t know how true that is, but that’s not a great mentality to have for your art. Seeing that bridge between your former self and current self is important for seeing self growth in your skills. Plus you won’t have those juicy likes and comments on instagram when you do the art redraw and show how far you come like how can you skimp on that you dingus.

All of the great content creators right now love showing off the shitty art they did as kids because it gives them a sense of progress in their work and their accomplishments and continues to drive them in their own works. (unless you’re rebecca sugar and drew ed edd and eddy shipping porn lol). Heck, some of them even take the stuff that was once cliche characters and expanded on them in their own Original Universe Donut Steel. And thanks to their own Original Universe Donut Steel, now tens of thousands of impressionable young artists can look at it and say “that’s awesome, but it would be way better if there was my own character...”.

OCs are weirdly one of the ultimate ways of fan expression where you enjoy the content so much you wish you were part of it. Even though it’s very disjointed and out of place, it’s usually done in a place of love for the franchise or the characters. So for those of you that are doing that still, keep at it I guess.

Fan art is sorta in the same way where you enjoy something so much that you want to replicate the style/themes/characters in your own or the content’s style. While not as extreme, it’s still in the same place of love and people generally like that more than original shit anyways so continue to make it so I can buy your posters at anime conventions without supporting the original creator lol. 

If you want to harass me further for my sins against budding artists, I guess I’ll link my personal blog if anyone actually asks me. I also wrote this at 3 am so it is extremely unedited and awful but it’s the most “pure” for my usual diatribe. Consider it my first OC for the blog.

Good night, good life, and farewell.

[elvxnkingthranduil]

1,4,6,7

Lets get some NaCl-y on Munday! Salty Munday Ask Meme

1. What’s the worst role playing experience you’ve had?

      Holy frijoles. The absolute worse thing that’s happened to me was obtaining this RP partner and OF COURSE this story has to do with ships. Because shipping is very controversial and the sole reason I have my rule regarding ships and prior relationships are in place.

               This mun force shipped her muse with mine and she was a VERY popular blog. I was very hesitant to bring it up because I was new to the RP scene and didn’t know how things like this were addressed. So I tried to roll with it. The whole thing made me feel uncomfortable and I finally said screw it to speak to this mun about what’s up. I thought everything was cool because she acknowledged that force shipping like that wasn’t cool. So what does she do? Continue to do so.

   To say the least, I was a very unhappy mun. I blocked her and all her blogs. Removed her from my Skype and blacklisted. To this day, I get paranoid she’ll come up on some other blog and do so again. Which has happened already.

     Moral of the story, respect my boundaries. I like to keep things private and solve things as peacefully as possible off to the side. Thankfully, that experience didn’t end up with her targeting me and making me into an aggressor or pull the fandom into that drama. I’ve seen it happen so I pin that down as a learning experience.

4. What are some things you are tired of seeing inthe RPing community?

     OC hate, especially towards females. Like, I get it. I’ve seen my fair share of poorly researched OCs and/or over powered silliness to last me a last time. I am, after all, still into fanfiction. LOL I’ve seen OCs that couldn’t exist outside a canon character, self inserts, and OCs made for the only reason to get on that character’s dick. I GET IT.

               Yet I try not to let that make me be completely prejudiced to OCs. I’ve seen blogs completely dismiss OCs. Female OCs have it even harder. I find it frustrating to deal with because I have OCs as well. Sometimes you just need to RP it to see if what you have pulls together. And the prejudice makes it frustrating to navigate the RPing when no one is willing to give you a chance.

   Also, the elitism I’ve seen on Tumblr. Where the blog isn’t pretty enough dictates you as a quality RP partner. Where you HAVE TO format or use icons to RP with a person. Where aesthetics suddenly dictate how you are as a person and a writer instead of letting your writing speak for itself.

     Not everyone is able to make icons. Not everyone knows how to code and have to use the themes they find or what Tumblr provides. Some people don’t like formatting posts and that’s personal preference. If small text is a problem because you can’t read, I see no issue in simply asking your RP partner to stop in your replies to make things more comfortable for you both. RPing is about communication anyways. The elitism just grinds my gears. I’ll have fun in my corner with all these cool peeps, thank you very much.

6. Your view on Mary/Gary sues?

     Not into them. Everything about them is too perfect and I end up getting annoyed. I had a lot of those while growing up and learning how to write so I’m aware they mostly stem from inexperience. And some of them can actually work if handled properly. Yet that’s mostly out of wish fulfillment.

               I live for imperfections. It’s those imperfections that I ironically find perfect about a character. In general, I can’t get into them. I’ve tried. Batman is an infamous Gary Stu. And I like his villains more. His Batman: The Animated Series portrayal is probably the only version I can empathize with. His flaws were more apparent then. hahaha I’ve seen some RPers that actually made me like a character because they put a more three-dimensional spin onto them. I guess it really depends?

7. Things that you will not tolerate?

      Hate and force shipping. Those are my number one things I will not stand. It’s an instant block. The internet is already a shitty place. There’s no reason to come on to purposefully be malicious to a person on the internet. There’s a person behind that screen. Don’t be the one.

[spinningaroundofmythoughts]

READ IT, please. I would like to point some things. I wish this could be kinda brief, but knowing myself I think I can't be brief at all. It will be about an amount of things. World. People behaviours. Jrock/Vkei. Also myself. 1 - Yes, I'm sick and tired of people. There is no humanity, so stop saying me PrayForHumanity. There are humans and evil creatures. Just that. Humanity was long forgotten with times... if really was the sense of Humanity anytime. I don't Pray for Humanity, I Pray for those who suffered and are still suffering. And don't even question about the 'Pray' act because I don't need to kneel and cross my hands to make it, I don't need to kneel or touch the floor to make it. To Pray is a way of expression to say that my thoughts are with those who are suffering. To create a bound between people, a ball of energy plentiful of feelings and good thoughts towards the victims. There's things in world that we will never comprehend because are zillions of different minds thinking in different ways, no matter how good you are understanding both sides... it will always be things that are understandable and unspeakable. I will touch in a nerve, but this is my way of thinking, for years and years, so shut up... sit.. and read me. Everyone is damn free to have their own beliefs and their own religions, same as to make anything they want SINCE... don't affect anyone around them. In centuries and millenniums of history... men didn't learn any single thing with all those horrors from the past that themselves created. Where the main points to those issues were always religion, land and power. Religion is in the front row for the most of the wars in any piece of Human's History. And you know because what? Power... power and disrespect. Humans can't agree that we ALL are equal and made of the same thing... and that we ALL are in the same boat. Right in the 21th century... to think that your boss is really in a highest level as you is just the same to believe that a children or a grown person with any kind of disability is inferior to anyone else and that they can't do the same things. No. They can, maybe slower but they will make it... and about your boss, he can be your boss in fact, but you ever guessed if he has any kind of degree or any kind of specific formation to be there? Or better saying... how many people do you know in high charges that than are just huge dumbasses... with low intelligence, low degrees and also low as persons (totally garbage, to be precisely)? You got my point right!? The thing is... even if you are more intelligent than your neighbor, or you have a higher and better degree than your work colleague... we should not try to mess others life with those shitty things. We all should think that we all are equal. We all came from the same place (mother's womb) and we all will end in the same way. We all are made of flesh, bones, and blood. What the hell it matters if I'm white, black, red, green, blue, with freckles, with tattoos, with piercings, bold or hairy, religious or not!? We all are here to live a damn life peacefully in our own way, and when people doesn't know things as respect and prefers greed... things like wars and terrorism happens. It's really odd that in 21th century there's still people thinking in conquer lands and oblige everyone to kneel to their rules and god. I also say the same thing to any kind of religion that put people on the streets or going door to door trying to bring new followers to their church/temple. We are at an Era where is most that known that we all are free to think and know what we want to ourselves, so stop the damn hell to try to convert everyone around. If what others do is an inappropriate thing and goes against your own beliefs, move to another place. Those who tends to follow wrong paths ('cause in their brainwashed minds are doing the right thing)... you are/were weak. We all have weakness inside of us, no one is really strong. But this doesn't excuse any terrifying thing you have done. You chose your path you will have to handle being bashed (or not) by others... we all have a brain to think, we all always have 2 choices. If you choose the wrong thinking is the good... maybe you should redefine your priorities as human being living surrounded by other ones. If you can't respect the others tastes, opinions, beliefs, religions... maybe you should go live all alone by yourself to a very hide and unknown place of the earth. To respect someone who doesn't respect is not even an option. 2 - Going around about respect again. I will repeat... if you just can look to the front and don't even look to your both sides... you also should redefine your priorities as a human being living surrounded by others. World doesn't spin around you. You are not the last person on earth suffering by any kind of reason. Look to your side and you will see that your cousin is also suffering as you, or that your neighbor has a burden heaviest than yours. Don't be damn selfish neither childish. Also take care with what you say and how you express yourself to others. Written words don’t carry your voice. People will interpret it in multiple ways. Think a lot before to do it. With speakable words is also necessary to take care, because what and the way you say it can brings a lot of problems to who listen, the wrong words or unspoken ones can damage more than you think. You don't live alone in the world. Remember it. 3 - Jrock/Vkei... god damn. I wonder why I came across with this world. No, in fact... why I returned to cross with it. I will try to be brief on this: ° You don't know to read Japanese? 2 options: Step back and leave it with who knows OR Go to learn it! ° You just know really one or two words? 2 options: Step back once for all before start doing shit OR Go improve yourself learning it! ° You know some kind of Japanese but even so you are a lazy bum? 2 options: Why are you still here? Go damn away OR It is so hard to understand "Go learn it" you damn bastard!? This is to everyone around JRock/Vkei world. If you are here just because the band members are hot guys and you don't even try to learn the language to understand any single and simple thing they say/write.... for your own good and for the good of everyone who's here with good intention and for love... leave it. Go search other bands, western bands. Leave them alone. I'm sick and tired of people who poisons this world, who poisons the fandoms, who poisons everything because they are mean, childish, brainless and mostly... with no life. YOU... that are reading me and believes in every single shit you read in places such as Tumblr and gossip blogs, leave them for your own mental sanity and for respect to the artists (if you really have it). Those places are fulfilled with worms that doesn't understand a lick of Japanese and everything they get is by reading in diagonal way on a shitty translator as Google, taking their own conclusions adding a lot of own imaginary facts. They all could be good writers in fact, because imagination is something they have... but since they are brainless, they have a gigantic lack of sense and a huge mind the gap about reality. Gossips are gossips. If you can't prove neither talk to the persons in question... go away from those places with poisoned information. I will repeat... we all have a brain... is up to you to choose use it rightly or wrongly. If you really wanna understand... go to learn the language, or at least do your own homework but with sense, searching a lot to understand things. If YOU are one of those gossipers (this word exists?)... I feel pity for you because... in fact... all of you are/were probably bullied at school, are/were always hidden in home, living in front of your computers under an avatar... never showing your own selves because you are afraid to be also cyberbullied, so... since you are weak to fight your own demons about others attitudes against you... you decide to bully others in web creating nonsense and offensive memes, creating gossips about people with facts that you even can't prove... but you don't care at all because in the end that childish and nasty attitude masturbates your ego and makes you laugh. I have a good thing to you: Psychiatrist. Or a good slap in your face. Get a damn life. No, for real. To everyone who are not aware of this... READ IT: Vkei/Jrock world is a niche in the music industry in Japan. Meaning that because is a really small part of it makes that is much harder to be succeeded. They have to battle the double or more than any other type of musician. Music world is not easy by itself, anywhere... but working in a niche multiplies the difficulties. Don't be offended... but Jrockers literally want your money, they needs to live as you. This doesn't mean that they not care about the music they are doing or about the fans. If they didn't care (about all that)... it would not be bands being around for so long. If you don't understand the meaning of things, go search on them... talk with people that really knows about the things and not gossipers. I came talk about this because in all these years I'm inside this world... I have seen sooooo many shit that even makes me sick. Or because gossips, or because people are rude and only works with one neuron only, or because are totally brainless, or are stubborn and refuse to understand and admit they are wrong, etcetcetc. People prefers to believe in what is easier to get, so... it's pretty likely they will all believe in gossips instead of take a step front and do their own job researching and talking with people that really understands the language. I have seen members of bands bashed because they decided to leave bands or for no reason at all... everything because gossips. If someone decides to leave a band... what the hell you have to do with it? It's his own decision and if the band is ok with it, fine. You as a fan just should support any kind of decision, just that. If you will go all bashy because of that, thinking that is an offense or whatever... dear, grow up, an offense would be if that member were playing two-sided (as already happened) or was stealing something and giving to others. But if also you are going all bashy because you read rumors that someone is leaving a band for this or that... what the hell is wrong with you?! Did your brain stopped to work suddenly (if you have one)??? Again... you don't understand the language, don't go take information on gossip blogs, talk with natives... talk with people that studied or are studying the language! For your own sake and for the sake of the artist. It is so bad and offensive to see people bashing an artist with no reason at all (even if was a reason that was not a bad reason!). I'm really sad that Vkei/Jrock fandoms are fulfilled of dumbass people, that are also inconstant as the wind... and artists needs a certain stability in their fan bases, mainly in this kind of niches. Really... think twice before to go offend an artist. He might not done anything wrong at all and you will be being rude, offensive and giving to yourself a really bad image that just show how ignorant you are. 4 - About myself. I know more than people think. I'm also older than people thinks. Age is not a mark of life neither maturity but can help a lot about knowledge. I learnt a lot with multiple moments in my life. Friendships, Family, Love, Death... but also with Music, Art, People. Reading. Researching. Studying. Asking... always asking. I remember that in college one of my teachers of Drawing and 'Art crafts' classes told me once that I'm a very curious person and that I want to know about everything, how things are done, all the processes, that I don't have problems in ask or look carefully to understand or even write everything down. Exactly that. I blushed, because it's purely true. I need to comprehend things, and to that... I ask or go search on it by many ways and don't limit myself to the first and easiest thing that appears. It's comparing and mainly thinking (a lot) that we get conclusions. Despite I'm not a person very fond on talk, this doesn't mean I'm empty. Once again... I know more than you think. And when I tell you something is not because I'm picking on you, but because I see your attitudes and I try to give you some sense, since I know what I am talking about. But as always, or the most of time... people are stubborn and also blind (which is the worst). Then... don't come to blame, because the only thing to blame would be your stupidity. Another thing that has been boring me for years... all these new Nu-Goths (including Pastel ones) in world, thinking that really are Goths... or Goths that doesn't accept other Goths because... lol... color. 1st thing - Nu-Goths and Pastel Goths is a fashion thing, is a trendy thing... not a lifestyle. To pack up all the Gothic clichés such as dark clothes, extra makeup and lots (or not) of accessories... doesn't make you Goth. Also because in the end is really just a phase and soon something new starts to trend they will be flying to it, as anything that comes from Fashionistas and Hipsters. I'm not saying that some of these people will not end up embracing the Gothic lifestyle... but mostly are really just that... trend, trendy-cloths, trendy-extra-fashionista-makeup, trendy-accessories, trendy-rude-morbid-attitude. I don't bother they exist, I just bother they think they are what they are not. Then, in other side... Goths that doesn't respect or see other Goths as ones. There is a thing now about to say that label a Goth as this or that is nothing. A Goth is a Goth. Ok, I agree totally that a Goth is a Goth, but I cannot stop to also agree that a Goth, because all its influences and personal tastes, can be tagged with a subgenre such as Medieval, Hippie, Fairy, Victorian, Steampunk, Cyber, etc. 'Cause, come on... there is evident differences about wardrobes that exactly comes about personal tastes. I would not go in a Cyber or Fetish way if it’s totally not my thing, this doesn't mean I don't accept them as part of the big Gothic thing. Same as when I see Victorian Goths thinking that only that subgenre or people that really are daily wearing makeups and wearing this or that or whatever... are 'true Goths'. Since when this turned into an Elitist lifestyle? Far as I know... Trad (Traditional) Goths were far away looking what the most looks like nowadays, also... DIY (Do it yourself) things, not buying in this or that 'super cool' shops and begging to be sponsors! I think the basis of Gothic in part disappeared. I know there is still of people on DIY but to think that only buying from those 'Wow places' will make you a 'true Goth' is just ridiculous. You can buy cheap and beautiful things everyfuckingwhere and your wardrobe will be so good and acceptable as if you were buying all those skirts plenty of lace and frills, those huge and awesome boots, or those amazingly beautiful corsets. What I mean is that sometimes... certain Goths tends to put others aside because they are too simple, not so notorious, don't wear any makeup or because even dare to use more than two colors besides black. Lol. And also because they are not always surrounded by other Goths or in their SNS they really don't share too much dark imagery and such. Double Lol. I saw a lot of this and I also already kinda 'suffered' of it. Lol, excuse me Mr./Miss-"I'm a so dark soul that my bat heart can't handle with your kind of colored view of world showing an amount of flowers, simple daily things, not wearing all back/red/purple/darkblue/grey/darkgreen cloths neither having a 'real Gothic' and expensive but awesome wardrobe neither makeup!"... I wish you could have grown up and learnt something about Goths history already. And doesn't diminish others just because they are not like you or have not the same tastes and etc. Once again... respect. Gothic is not just about expensive and aristocratic cloths, it's about knowledge, it's about culture, world's view(s) and also... a lot of respect.