#the last line especially almost always brings a tear to my eye
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rubys-domain · 1 year ago
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listening to imperfect love always gets me a little emo
#⇢₊˚⊹ 🩷∥ruby∥yo,ide yo !!#like... those lyrics#are so fucking sweet#the last line especially almost always brings a tear to my eye#I appreciate songs that can make me cry. But like,gently. Some songs just aggressively prompt the waterworks and i'm not cool with that#if that makes any sense#I bury my own feelings so much that it takes prompting to let myself feel some things#yeah this song is pretty hopeful lyrics-wise. but personally,it allows me to mourn#mourn what our relationship could've been#the relationship is on the rocks right now. and honestly,it was inevitable#we're still together. but I feel like it's only a matter of time before we break up for real#I used to be really scared of that happening. but now I'm halfway towards accepting it#there's no animosity between us or anything. it's just... we're finally facing the fact that we're not as compatible as we thought we were#and we tried really hard to make things work. ppl irl see us and think we're like a perfect couple#but in reality it took massive effort and a lot of pain on both sides to make it work#we've been together for a couple years now. and I still love him more than anyone else in the world#I'd like to think he loves me just as much. even though it's still really hard for me to believe that someone could love me#(which is also kinda part of the problem but I digress)#anyway,yeah. I'm too used to being with him at this point. we'll still be friends after we break up,but#I'm going to need a long... long mourning period...#I guess it can come off kinda dramatic that I'm calling it a “mourning period.” and yeah it kind of is#but we spent literal /years/ together and invested so much into the notion of being together forever#that I think calling it mourning is kind of justified
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millervrse · 3 months ago
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𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄𝐑! BY THE COFFEE MACHINE ! javier peña x reader
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summary: Javier Peña doesn’t like you. You’re too nice, too bubbly, and you get on his last nerve. He didn’t get how anybody in this line of work could be so goddamn cheery all the time. Though aside from your, in his eyes, forced and fake kindness, you had no bad features, and perhaps that, added to your beauty, is what ticked him off so much. Could he learn to like you the more time passes, or would you do this dance of hatred forever?
pairing: javier peña x afab!reader
warnings, notes: EVENTUAL 18+ smut, reader has a bit of an established backstory, a few uses of y/n but only when necessary, r! has a dog, references to narcos and thus real life people and occurrences (pablo escobar, the cartel, etc), ENEMIES TO LOVERS but it’s one sided because javier hates r!, r! has an established personality, grumpy x sunshine
word count: 500-
LYN SPEAKING! so this is an already finished piece that i wrote nearly a year ago, a word count of 20k+ to boot! holy fuck! this is a series from javier’s pov, though if people are interested, i’d like to throw in more chapters from reader’s pov using second person, especially for smut as the original piece was written as an sfw work. if people like this, i’m down to share much, much more! anyway, enjoy this little prologue. lyn out!
edit: read the next part HERE!
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My name is Javier Peña, and I work as an agent for the DEA in Bogotá, Columbia.
I’ve never been a commitment kind of guy. Not unless we’re talking about work, anyways. For the longest time, the only thing I’d ever call myself loyal to was just that: Work, with a side of coffee and cigarettes.
And tracking down a Columbian drug lord, but we’ll talk about that later.
I’ve seen this job do a lot of things to people. I’ve seen it better them as a person, and I’ve seen it tear them to shreds even more. I’ve seen it end up in friendships, just as much as it ends in divorce.
And I’m no genius, but if you look at the odds, the latter happens way more often.
I never would’ve guessed that, of all the goddamn people in the DEA, I would be one of the ones to experience the phenomenon that is this job bringing people together.
If you think the odds of people in the DEA either making friendships, or divorcing, or even becoming enemies is low, the odds of them falling in love is ridiculously lower. It’s almost laughable.
And let’s just say: Javier Peña was not the kind of guy who those odds would fall upon.
A year ago today, I was bullying the woman who would soon become my girlfriend, and hopefully, one day, my wife. Now that I look back on it, it doesn’t seem palpable that it even happened at all.
That same woman is in my line of vision now, playing with her dog as they run around in front of me. She’s laughing as she throws a frisbee around, chasing the Shepard mix as it runs after it. From time to time, she’ll turn back to me, flashing that brilliant smile of hers that made me fall in love with her in the first place.
“Hey, Peña! Are you coming over here or what?” she yells at me with that witty sass that’ll always bring me to my knees.
Or, in this case, my feet.
I get up from where I lay in the sand, shaking my head at her as I approach. She looks even more gorgeous than usual as she holds her hands on her hips, hanging fire for me as the sun is setting behind her.
I don’t like getting sappy. I didn’t like getting sappy, I guess. But every love with no end, surely has a beginning.
Allow me to give you ours.
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if you made it to the end of this, i really hope you liked it! please consider leaving a reblog, as they help my work immensely <3 kisses!
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rosenotactuallyquartz · 4 months ago
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both of you
this song is incredibly special.
it’s almost like it’s over isn’t it is the questions. as i said in my post about it’s over isn’t it, johnston said that pearl feels lost and out of place by the end of the song. both of you has the answers!
steven
i love that steven is the one who sings it. it helps greg & pearl connect, because they’re raising steven. steven reassures them that he feels loved. more loved than greg felt as a kid, along with rose and pearl, who never even got to be kids. pearl also saw how pink was treated in her early years.
rose would be proud of both of them.
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rose symbolism
of course, steven is singing the song, but they can still sense rose’s love and lingering presence.
pearl tends to notice the personality and speaking pattern similarities between steven and his mother. in rose’s scabbard, she said, “sometimes, you even sound like her.” so, steven singing the song helps with certain epiphanies and needed closure.
he also has her gem, and when he sings the first, “you both love me and i love both of you,” a tear falls from his eye. to me, it represents rose’s healing tears. interesting, because:
“steven, your mother had healing tears that flowed from her gem. she felt real love for those around her. she felt real sorrow when they were hurt.” — garnet, an indirect kiss.
it definitely symbolizes what rose would say to them if she was alive.
after that line, greg & pearl tear up, too. pearl tears up exactly like she does in the scene where she says steven sometimes sounds like rose (after: well, i think you’re pretty great).
she’s also symbolized by the rose petals in the air and the light around steven being pink. which brings me to my next point.
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colour symbolism
the light around steven is pink, symbolizing his mother. rose’s colour was pink, and she also happens to be pink diamond—something that is only known by pearl at the time.
the light on greg is yellow and the light on pearl is blue... which symbolizes a lot of different things.
foreshadowing, for one thing. somewhere on homeworld, blue and yellow are at odds as they’re dealing with the loss of pink. pink, who became rose. this scene gives us a hint about rose’s secret, because eventually we meet blue & yellow and we hear what’s the use of feeling blue. obviously these are two completely different situations involving two completely different people, but it’s a pink diamond hint.
their colours also represent things about greg & pearl in particular.
yellow symbolizes optimism and light, the way greg tries to keep life light for the people he cares about. this is both good and flawed. while he likes living in the moment, he never wanted to have deep conversations & talk about the past. sometimes it can be a form of avoidance, especially when things are unhealed, important, or impacting the present and future.
as i said in my last analysis, greg and pearl are two different extremes & opposites.
blue symbolizes order, loyalty, honesty… but blue also symbolizes sadness. she keeps secrets, always tries to take care of everyone, and it makes her forget about herself. blue also symbolizes timidity, just as the confusing situation, personal insecurity (i.e., always focused on what she can do for her/how she can help her, yet rose could find comfort in simply who pearl is), and pain has made her believe that rose didn’t love her as much as she loved her.
as they bond, he finally provides a sense of warmth that helps with the coldness she feels, and she allows him to really feel everything that he often tries to avoid.
“why don’t you talk to each other, just give it a try. why don’t you talk about what happened, i know you’re trying to avoid it but i don’t know why.” — steven, both of you
it’s funny, the way that these lyrics point out some of their major flaws and how it’s worsened their grief. greg avoids talking about emotional topics, and pearl hasn’t tried to talk to greg about rose and the reasons behind her death, because she has distanced herself from him. which is a very realistic and understandable thing to do, especially in early grief. however, talking to each other makes her realize what really happened. lastly, i don’t know why is related to rose. she didn’t know that they were at odds, she didn’t know how the norms of human relationships worked. despite we need to talk, there were still many things that were left unsaid between… everyone. she was often stuck in her own mind, which was not the best place to be, so she was quite oblivious to the things that were going on around her. heck, she was stuck wondering why two great people cared for her.
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the conversation
greg: look, if i were you, i’d hate me, too.
pearl: i don’t hate you.
greg: but i knew how you felt about rose and i stayed anyway.
pearl: that wasn’t the problem.
greg: then, what was?
pearl: she fell in love with you.
pearl’s “blue” allows greg to finally look back at painful memories from the past. as he speaks, his voice sounds similar to how he sounded when he was just 22. he acknowledges the fact that he should have asked more questions about pearl’s love with rose, along with understanding the differences between gem and human relationships. he knows he avoids heavy topics and gem topics, but he recognizes that despite his efforts in we need to talk, he regrets not attempting more communication between all of them. he’s able to have regrets instead of focusing solely on the positives and the present.
doing so helps pearl get some closure. she also has her own epiphany which helps her want to be greg’s friend: he was the first human who cared for rose enough to actually build a meaningful connection with her. she realizes why she said, “i was fine, with the men…” earlier. greg was different. but in a good way, really.
of course she worried about greg being rose’s favourite: not only does she struggle to understand human relationships, but his bond with rose was the first bond she had with a human that wasn’t meaningless like her past bonds. pearl felt confused and everyone was avoiding conversations for different reasons.
and yet, in the background, steven sings, you both love me and i love both of you.
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she always did what she wanted!
this line represents the positive and the negative reasons behind rose’s decision to give up her physical form.
while greg and pearl are around each other and they’re allowed to see the situation in a new light, keep in mind that they never switch colours. pearl’s light remains blue and greg’s light remains yellow.
pearl always wondered: “why did she choose to create life with him and die, over living with me forever? she not love me enough?” she questioned this earlier, during it’s over isn’t it, but as i said earlier, both of you gives her the answers.
you both love me, and i love both of you. she seems to get this epiphany that rose loved everyone who loved her. she loved them as much as they loved her. she loved them the exact same way they loved her. no more, no less.
there is no single reason behind behind rose’s death, but the reasons are unrelated to rose choosing someone. the reasons are related to her and steven.
—> pearl’s symbolism
“that wasn’t the problem… then, what was?”
as pearl realizes that rose did fall in love with her, too, she realizes that falling in love with anyone wasn’t really the problem.
the problem was, she’d fall in love… and she’d love whoever she loved far more than she could ever love herself.
as the show continues to progress, pearl is realizing just how much rose was in love with her, but she’s also simultaneously realizing just how much rose didn’t love herself.
she will no longer look back at the memories and say, “i wish she loved me as much as i loved her,” she’ll say, “i wish she loved herself as much as i loved her.”
pearl represents the rose-related reasons behind this decision: how she thought everyone was better than her & would be better off without her.
“people would be drawn to her, gems would be drawn to her, and i don’t know if they would necessarily realize that she was worshipping them, which was compounding her own sadness.” — rebecca sugar
pearl says, “she always did what she wanted!” close to tears. it symbolizes the pain behind rose’s decision.
—> greg’s symbolism
as steven’s father, greg and steven share similarities. they look alike, and he also has this memory:
“but you, you're supposed to change. you’re never the same, even moment to moment, you're allowed and expected to invent who you are. what an incredible power… the ability to grow up.” — greg the babysitter
greg represents the steven-related reasons behind rose’s death: her love for humanity, growth, creating life on her own, creating someone who she knew would be a gift to those she loved, and her love for steven.
rose’s death was a tragedy, and nothing can change that. there were heartbreaking reasons behind her death.
at the same time, this doesn’t mean she loved steven any less! she loved him so much, and she was so excited for him to exist.
in a way, this song gives answers to everyone, honest answers.
all three of them are loved by rose in different ways, genuinely and deeply. the only person she didn’t love enough was herself.
greg says, “she always did what she wanted!” with a laugh at the end. it symbolizes the warmth and love behind rose’s decision, and the wonderful person that they have in their lives. steven is a gift from rose.
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final thoughts
steven, pearl, and greg all grow together in this song. it’s special, because this was something rose loved the most: growth. it will always be tragic, because she loved them all and she loved growth, but she never believed she could grow and she couldn’t love herself.
still, this song gives them a sense of closure and reassurance. they learn from each other and see the situation for how it truly is. they experience rose’s presence and they are able to bond once they realize they have a lot in common: they’re grieving, they’re raising a kid they both love. they’re able to do this with the realization that there really was no love triangle here, no choosing someone over the other. no one said, “yeah, i’ll just accept that she loved you more,” or “well, i mean, she loved you like a friend!” because that’s not the case.
i love this song so much, and it’s so underrated yet so deep and complicated.
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ponderingmoonlight · 11 months ago
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(y/n) being there for Shoko when no one else is even after her boyfriend Gojo got sealed
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Pairing: Shoko x bestie!reader; Gojo x girlfriend!reader
Word Count: 1k
Synopsis: Shibuya brings even a strong and collected woman like Shoko down to her knees. Especially when you, the only person who seems to truly care about her, ask her about her well-being when your boyfriend just got sealed....
Warnings: bestie - energy incoming, I know I said I'm not able to write hurt anymore, but I feel sooo sorry for my girl Shoko and she's so underrated, that's why she definetely deserves her own fic okay😭 also added Satoru and even more hurt to this lol, just a cute lil micro fic so don't expect that much of a plot line
„I thought you quit smoking some time ago.”
“What the hell is your lazy ass doing here? Aren’t you supposed to die on the battlefield like everyone else?”
“Huh, seems like I didn’t get that message.”
Your sly grin paired with the sheer amount of crimson that covers your frame makes Shoko’s blood freeze in her veins in an instant.
“Why didn’t you come earlier, idiot? Can’t you see that you’re about to die?”
“I’m not dying when you are around, babe.”
You lean against the mirror of the abandoned public toilet you and Shoko are in, watching in silence as she puts out her cigarette in the marble of the expensive looking sink behind you.
What a hell of a day. No, what a hell of a life. You came here with no real plan, just following after Satoru to get him going. Well, you definitely didn’t expect your boyfriend to get sealed in front of your very own eyes. Just like you didn’t expect to find the corpses of Kento Nanami and your student Nobara Kugisaki, laying in pieces on the cold ground of this cursed train station. Fuck, not even you were enough to protect them, not even the infamous girlfriend of Satoru Gojo was enough to stop this fucking madness.
“You look like shit”, Shoko comments dryly, her eyes fixed on the multiple wounds that special grade curse inflicted on you in his beach sphere.
“Just like you. When was the last time you’ve slept, Ieiri?”
It should scare her, the fact that she can’t put a finger on a single night this month. Since Geto and Haibara left, she always remained in the shadows of the friendship that used to exist when times seemed to be easier. Not even you were able to fix that. You, who came like a ray of sunshine in her life. You, the girlfriend of Satoru since being in your first year. You, the only person who seems to really care about her. No, not even the fact that you survived this hell is enough to get over the fact how many people died that night.
“I don’t know”, Shoko finally mumbles.
Why the hell do her eyes start to water, slowly but surely taking her sight? She’s been through some shit since being a jujutsu sorcerer, never belonging anywhere due to the fact that her reversed technique is too important to get risked. People come and go, countless lives ended on the table of her office, even the one of her lover. But this night…
Nanami and Nobara’s deaths, Megumi and Ino almost losing their lives, all the others she hasn’t heard a single word from since they left a few hours ago, her oldest friend sealed until who knows when.
And then there’s you, sitting in front of her severely injured, barely able to make it to her. You are here.
And it seems like you are everything that’s left.
“Hey, don’t you dare to cry. Or I…”
The big lump forming in your throat stops you from speaking any further. God, how much you hate the concept of crying, how useless shedding some tears is. But at this moment, with the dark circles underneath your best friend’s eyes in front of your sight, with the singing fact that you might not be able to ever see your boyfriend again, you begin to crumble.
“Fuck, you can’t believe how glad I am you’re here, Shoko.”
There you sit, staring into each other’s glossy eyes while your hand grabs hers roughly.
“How are you feeling?”, you breathe out.
“I feel like shit, (y/n). I feel like all I do is sitting in the dark while everyone around me dies. I feel so fucking lonely and useless”, she blurts out, her head sinking into your lap with her hands holding onto your uniform for dear life.
The girl who always looked so cool, the girl with enough sass for whole Jujutsu High. Even though you were constantly able to tell because of the numbness in her orbs, you never thought that she feels this bad. Your best friend, the person you spent most of the time with aside from Satoru.
Satoru, Shoko…You feel like dying from the inside, tears now running down your very own cheeks like a waterfall.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t able to save them. Not Kento, not Nobara, not Suguru. Fuck, I wasn’t even able to protect my own boyfriend…I-I…I wasn’t even able to say goodbye”, you cry out.
“B-but…I have you, right? After all, you’re my bestie for life…”
Her bloody eyes dart towards you, a weak smile forming itself on her lips.
“Don’t you dare to cry about that white-haired idiot. Do you really think he lets himself get sealed and just stays in there? He’s just as annoying as you are, (y/n).”
You huff while shaking your head, a little giggle escaping your lips.
“And yes, you have me. I’ll always have your back.”
“And I’ve got yours”, you reply in an instant.
“You’ll never be alone, Shoko. I’d rather crawl back to you like the biggest idiot than leaving you alone in this hell. It’s somehow better with two, isn’t it?”
Shoko lifts herself off your lap, wiping her tears away in the most unlady-like manner you’ve ever seen. All these years, she always felt alone in a room full of people, always out of place even though being told over and over just how important she is. But you…you see so much more in her than just a useful tool. No, you look at her as a friend, you look at her with true curiosity in your eyes, like you care about her well-being.
You’re standing by her side no matter what.
“I hate to admit it, but somehow you right I guess.”
Tags: @arehzhera @ploylulla @tzubaki @beatrexworld @kenstarsworld @dazaisdick @hellkaiserinphoenix  @lauv4chuuya @shadowfoxey @starlightanyaaa @sindela @kayleegomez @sunshine7queen @magalimachete @mokoartpost @gatitam @idontknow1123 @creative1writings @sanicsmut  @mynahx3 @sad-darksoul @chilichopsticks @hellkaiserinphoenix @chuyasthighs0 @ynackerman9499 @keepghostly @wxwieeee @lovelyluna1 @froufrousnowman @hidazinie @tomiokathedepresso  @gojosrealwife  @coffeeluvr96 @mahi-tamashi @weebotaku21 @chaoticwinnercupcake @lees-chaotic-brain  @risuola  @sugurulefttesticle @wordskeeper @baku2345 @polarbvnny @ruixrei @bam-bam-bam-bame-blog @lavenderdrxp @localhehecat @alicerhr @kayleegomez
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wayfayrr · 10 months ago
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May I please have a soft hot coco with red velvet as a takeaway?
order up dear - I hope you'll find it to your tastes <3
soft sweet wars outside of hyrule, one of my favourites to write of everyone? 👁️ this was so fun to write peep - he's just so fun to play with in different ways and this in particular? there are so many different ways to build up to it, this is only one of the ways I planned it out of about four different ideas for confessions I had for him >:) if you're curious at all I will so ramble about them on demand
[Event masterlist]
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“You look good in that link, I’m almost jealous of how good you look in modern clothes, I knew getting some better fitting ones was a good idea.”
“Really honeybee? I don’t think I would go that far, even though I agree with the second bit.”
Oh, he knows how stupidly attractive he is, I can hear it in his voice and see it in his actions. The way he spins me to face him and leans in close - just lean in a little closer, please.
“Won’t you say it for me again honey?”
“You’re stunning…”
“And to think I’m all yours.”
Following up that last line with a chuckle and a featherlight kiss on my lips, pulling back as a sly look crossed his face like he’s not yet had enough. Letting me take in a short shocked breath till he closed the gap again, silky soft lips meeting mine for the second time, his hand coming up to gently start playing with the hair on the back of my neck like he already knows how to make everything feel right. Tilting his head every now and then I can’t help but melt into it, like he’s simply asking me to be his. The lightheadedness when he pulled away was only natural.
“Sorry I - I should’ve asked first. I know I’m moving fast.” Isn’t that an understatement. Even though he hasn’t been here long, it’s only been a few days since we both ended up here, earth is working miracles on his confidence. He doesn’t seem as paranoid as he did back in Hyrule; which led perfectly to him biting a bullet and asking me to date him the minute he realised we were in my world. 
“Don’t be, you know I would’ve said yes anyway.”
“Still…”
“If you feel that bad, you could make up with another kiss?”
That snapped him out of it, bringing back his laugh as he let go of me although not before one last kiss, to my cheek this time. 
“In a bit, I wouldn’t want to keep us here too long would I? You did mention that if we leave this ‘mall’ too late then it’ll take longer to get to your home after all.”
“Yeah! Yeah, I did say that, wish we wouldn’t have to worry about traffic though.”
Driving back doesn’t take all that long, especially since we beat the rush. It was only a matter of minutes till we were home, sorting out his bags while he offered to make us both a drink. Thankfully he picked up how to use appliances much faster than I would’ve assumed so I don’t even have to worry. 
Within what felt like the blink of an eye we were both sitting down in the living room, laying on each other and just existing, without having to worry about things that used to be commonplace. Back to normal for me, but for wars, for link? Has he ever lived in peace like this, ever?
“[name]?”
“Yeah link?”
“If I asked you if I could stay here, after everything is dealt with, would you let me?”
That answers that question then, that and the tears running down his face.
“You wouldn’t even have to ask if you wanted to stay. I’d be more than happy for you to stay with me, love.”
His sobs were heart-wrenching, has no one ever cared to make him feel safe before? It’s like he’s never been shown even basic kindness before with how he’s reacting, with the things I’ve heard from time about his past though… Should I be surprised? I always hoped they were rumours, as much as I knew they can’t have been. 
“You’ll always have a home with me link, okay love? You never need to question that.”
Setting aside my mug and his I coax him into my arms, drawing him into a hug so that he can cry, so that he can know he’s safe and wanted. Rubbing his back while his head buries itself into my neck, my shirt becoming sodden as he tries and fails to put the broken parts of himself back together. The longer we stay like this the slower his tears form. 
“It’s okay, to want to scream and say that you’re still afraid. You've seen more than a hundred lies, each one simply trying to hurt you worse, but you can let yourself be safe here. I swear on my life.”
“I know, I know, I know and I’m scared.”
“And it’s alright to be scared link, just know you aren’t alone.”
It almost hurts with how tightly he’s holding onto me, nodding desperately into my shoulder as he takes shaking breaths. 
If you told me it was an eternity until he started to get less tense, I would believe you, but eventually, his grip does loosen somewhat. 
“Can we just stay like this for now?”
“As long as you need dear.”
Which seemed to be the final thing stopping him from falling asleep on me, his breaths evening as he just drifts off, not that it takes all that long for me to follow his example.
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marshmellowrio · 9 months ago
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Flight of the Night | Chapter 3
Word count: 1031
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“I asked Rhys if I could take you to dinner with Lyssa, just us girls, and he said you wouldn’t want to. But honestly – would you rather spend time with those two ancient bores, or us?” Mor grips my chin and brings my face next to hers, both of our faces the picture perfect image of innocence.
“For someone who is the same age as me,” Rhys drawls and Mor lets go of my face, “you seem to forget-”
“Everyone wants to talk-talk-talk,” Mor says, giving Cassian a warning glare as he opens his mouth and I snort. “Can’t we eat-eat-eat, and then talk?”
Azriel chuckles from across the table and starts digging into his food. Giving the cue to the rest of us to start eating as well, Mor clinks her glass against Feyre’s. “Don’t let these busybodies boss you around.”
She’s one to talk, I think. Cassian beats me to saying it, “Pot. Kettle. Black.” He frowns at Amren’s plate while I shove another bite into my mouth. “I always forget how bizarre that is.” He takes her plate and dumps half of its contents on his own before passing the rest to Azriel, whose hand is awaiting.
“Cassian.” I scold at the same time Azriel excuses to Amren.
“I keep telling him to ask before he does that.”
Amren gestures absentmindedly towards me, “If you two haven’t been able to train him after all these centuries, boy, I don’t think you’ll make any progress now.”
Cassian doesn’t even look up from his, now again, full plate. I take a sip from my glass of water.
“You don’t---eat?” Feyre questions the ancient being across from her.
“Not this sort of food.”
I smile when Mor cringes next to me. “Cauldron boil me,” she says, taking another gulp from her wine. “Can we not?”
Rhys chuckles, “Remind me to have family dinners more often.”
I roll my eyes and lean back in my seat so I can look at him behind Mor and Feyre as I say, “Last time you said something along the lines of, never again, remember?” I grin as he grimaces.
My plate is almost empty when I hear Azriel start talking and look up to see him holding out his siphons for Feyre to see. “They’re called Siphons. They concentrate and focus our power in battle.”
I look down at my own hands, seeing the two emerald Siphons glittering in the light.
“The power of stronger Illyrians tends toward ‘incinerate now, ask questions later.’ They have little magical gifts beyond that---the killing power.” Rhys clarifies. At times I rather liked the incinerate now, ask questions later part, it kept me alive long enough.
“The gift of a violent, warmongering people,” Amren adds. I furrow my eyebrows at her, seeing Cassian give Azriel a sharp look as he nods.
Rhys goes on, “The Illyrians bred the power to give them advantage in battle, yes. The Siphons filter that raw power and allow Cassian, Azriel and Lyssa to transform it into something more subtle and varied---into shields and weapons, arrows and spears. Imagine the difference between hurling a bucket of paint against the wall and using a brush.” Nice metaphor. “The Siphons allow for the magic to be nimble, precise on the battlefield---when it’s natural state lends itself toward something far messier and unrefined, and potentially dangerous when you’re fighting in tight quarters.”
Cassian flexes his fingers, while staring at his red siphons. “Doesn’t hurt that they also look damn good.”
“Especially in the bedroom.” I counter as Cassian grins at me. Azriel closes his eyes and Mor sucks in a breath beside me.
“Illyrians.” Amren mutters.
Cassian bares his teeth and takes a drink of his wine. I continue eating as Feyre starts fumbling for words, “How did you—I mean, how do you and Lord Cassian—” Cassian spews out his wine across the table, Mor leaping up and me coughing as a piece of food gets lodged in my throat.
I cough harshly as my throat clears, tears having formed in the corners of my eyes, I take my glass and drown the liquid inside. Cassian howling with laughter across the table.
“Cassian,” Rhys drawls, “is not a lord. Though I’m sure he appreciates you thinking he is.” He surveys all of us. “While we’re on the subject, neither is Azriel. Nor Amren. Mor and Lyssa, believe it or not, are the only pure-blooded, titled people in this room.” The muscles in my entire body tighten at his words. “I’m half-Illyrian. As good as a bastard where the thoroughbred High Fae are concerned.”
“So you—you four aren’t High Fae?” Feyre says to us, catching my gaze for a second.
Cassian settles down enough to answer her. “Illyrians are certainly not High Fae. And glad of it.” He hooks his hair behind an ear��showing the round edge. “And we’re not lesser faeries, though some try to call us that. We’re just—Illyrians. Considered expendable aerial cavalry for the Night Court at the best of times, mindless soldier grunts at the worst.”
“Which is most of the time,” Azriel clarifies to her.
“I didn’t see you Under the Mountain.”
I still.
“Because none of us were.” Mor, she speaks up, daring to break the silence that had fallen.
Rhys’s cold voice explains. “Amarantha didn’t know they existed. And when someone tried to tell het, they usually found themselves without the mind to do so.”
“You truly kept this city, and all these people hidden from her for fifty years.” The wonder in her voice almost makes me snarl.
This city was safe, yes, protected. Not all had had that pleasure. My heart beat harshly in my chest, I hadn’t forgiven him, not yet.
Amren says, “We will continue to keep this city and these people from our enemies for a great many more.”
I grit my teeth, this dinner is proving to be more loaded than I expected.
Mor turns slightly away from me, towards Feyre, to explain, “ There is not one person in this city who is unaware of what went on outside these border. Or of the cost.”
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A/N: Let me know how you liked it and if you wanted to be added to the taglist!
Taglist: @inloveallthetime @mybestfriendmademe
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softshuji · 2 years ago
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4:06PM | HAITANI RAN  
Summary: Maybe you and Ran are just two broken things, and maybe enough is enough. Likes and reblogs appreciated! Link to my masterlist here!
cw: afab!reader, use of petnames (Princess, baby), implied infidelity (nothing happens), angst with comfort, both Ran and reader cry, mentions of marriage and divorce.
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Ran has known for some time but he’s been ready for this conversation for none of it. It should come as a surprise when you sit him down in the garden, grass blowing gently, faint scent of fresh flowers tickling your nose, but it doesn’t. 
He sits on the bench in your garden and looks up at you expectantly, as if his heart isn’t crashing and racing in his chest. Every second that prolongs this conversation only serves to make him feel more nauseous, more anxious and he can’t seem to stop the jittering, the bouncing of his knee on the slabbed floor. There are weeds growing between the cracks, little dandelions and shrubs, moss that peeks out between the brown soil, and he watches you absent-mindedly stamp on a patch of moss that pops up between two broken slabs.
‘Ran,’ you say, your skirt swishing in the breeze as you move to sit next to him. 
‘Y/n,’ he replies in tandem, and looks at your pinched brow, the corners of your mouth turned down and the visceral urge to kiss your lips, your forehead, is so great that he looks away. He chooses to focus his attention on the cigarette he’s pulling out from a silver tin, engraved with a neat italicised ‘RH’ in the corner. An anniversary present from you many years ago, now worn and lined with scratches and dents and he’s so sentimental that he can’t bring himself to replace it. 
Maybe he just loves you too much.
You take his hands in your own. They’re rough, callused, just as worn as his cigarette tin. The same hands that he touches you with, cooks with, kills with. Every line holds a memory of the two of you. You’re fidgeting just like he is, biting your lip anxiously, tapping your foot on the broken slab.
At first you don’t speak, neither of you do. You just stare at each other, at the faces you’ve woken up next to for the last four years and your hearts are both breaking at the same time. If you were to put your head to his chest, you would hear the crack as his heart splinters, the erratic beating of it as it descends into the pit of his stomach.
‘It’s okay…’ he smiles, a watery and thin smile and traces his thumb along your knuckles. His touch is soft as a feather.
‘S’not okay,’ you say and all it takes is the sensation of his hand on your back, comforting as it always is, for your resolve to slip and the tears to gather in the corners of your eyes. 
‘It is Princess.’ He presses a kiss to the back of your hand. ‘No matter what, I’m always going to love you.’ 
Perhaps it is a testament to his grace and the love he has always given so freely to you that allows him to say it, and to smile knowing what you’re about to say, knowing that this is the end of the line. 
‘I’m sorry Ran, I’m so sorry.’ The first tear slips from your eye and falls onto your pallid cheek and on instinct, he brushes it away with his thumb. 
‘Don’t be Pretty baby, it’s my fault. I should have done better.’ 
‘No, no, it wasn’t you, it was me- I should have tried to understand you more-’
Truly you could go on all day like that, taking the blame, both of you caught up in the whirlwind of your love, of trying to save the other from more heartbreak. Was that what love was? 
‘So this is it huh?’ His eyes are so soft and kind, and the lazy sunlight hits them at just the right angle. Luminescent purple and lilac, framed by dark long lashes. He’s always been beautiful, always been elegant, always been something so ethereal that it’s almost hard to believe he’s real. Especially on the warm Sunday mornings, when the splices of sunlight drift through the slat in the curtain over his shoulder and his lips are just about parted, as if waiting for you to brush yours against them. 
You nod your assent and he sighs and it is so broken and tired but he tries for a smile again. You can see his eyes filling with tears and his hands trembling as he puts the cigarette to his lips and inhales a lungful. 
Your shoulders shake as you cry and you look so small and vulnerable sitting there in your skirt and flats, with a flower in your hair that he had put there that very morning.
‘I’m sorry- I’m sorry- I’m sorry,’ you say and it’s all you can think as he pulls you to him, holding you close with an arm around your shoulder.
‘You don’t need to keep saying it Pretty.’
‘I do- I should have loved you harder-’ The words are thick and heavy in your throat but all he does is shake his head adamantly.
‘What would that have done huh?’ He rubs your bare arm and feels the goosebumps on your skin. ‘I just want you to be safe and happy, and if that means it isn’t with me, then s’alright.’
And oh how it hurts to say those words when he wants nothing more than to hold you forever, to make love to you every night, wake up to you every morning. 
‘Its my fault.’ He kisses the crown of your head and your hair tickles his nose as he does so. ‘Should have been here more often, should have cared for you more.’
‘No-’ You shake your head and the sob sitting at the base of your throat trickles out as you wipe your nose. 
‘It is. I’m an idiot-’
‘Ran-’
‘S’alright Y/n, let me finish.’ 
This is by far the hardest thing he’s ever done, the scariest and for the first time in his life he feels the visceral fear, the terrifying sensation of being out of his depth and adrift. You’re slipping through his fingers and there is nothing he can do about it but he'd rather die than force you to stay where you’re unhappy.
‘I shouldn’t have been so absent. I did this, and you deserve better. So much better.’ There is no playfulness to his tone, no sarcasm and that’s what saddens you the most.
The tears are fast and free-flowing and you hiccup and sob against his chest, the spike of anxiety that gnaws at his stomach only growing tenfold when you clutch his shirt for support.
He had known in his heart that things would never work between you, because he had always loved you more, had loved you enough for both of you when things started to change. Sometimes you felt selfish and guilty and the knot of self-loathing in your stomach only seemed to double every time he gently caressed your back as he passed, or told you he loved you when you lay together at night, sleep pressing on your eyelids like a vice.
You don’t correct him. Maybe because he’s right, or maybe because it’s pointless. Maybe because love is so complicated and neither of you really understand.
You love him. He loves you. Once you’d thought that the simple act of loving was enough to maintain you, that love could sustain the relationship when other things could not, that the days and weeks spent away working would not add up, that you would not crave and miss him like you did. He loves you, but he doesn’t choose you. 
‘I’m an idiot,’ he says and mentally curses himself. 
Did the fact that this conversation was weeks in the making make it any easier to have? No it didn’t. Despite the fact that this was the end of the line for you, you still want him to stay. No matter what happens, you will always look for him at night and perhaps that codependency, that you once thought was love, was exactly what love wasn’t. You didn’t know. 
‘You can keep everything,’ he says, taking a shuddering breath. You need him to be strong, he thinks. You need him to be sturdy when you cannot be. So he will. ‘Whatever you want you can have. You’ll always be my Princess.’ 
‘Ran…’ You don’t mean for it to sound so desperate and full of yearning, and perhaps it’s because you’ve been crying over this for weeks, that you’ve lain awake on the nights he wasn’t here, but a choked sob rips its way from your throat. 
What was the issue here? That he didn’t love you? Or that he did and that that love wasn’t enough to make you love him in return? Yes it was true he had accepted you, every part of you. The part of you that was a dreamer, the part of you that would rather die than show it. Was that not what love was? Acceptance of a sort?
All his life he had spent climbing this insurmountable mountain. But he would jump off in a heartbeat if it meant he’d meet you at the bottom. 
There were times of course, when you could caress the concept of happiness with gentle but tentative fingers, when you could reach out and touch, ever so lightly, that blanket of comfort that hung in the sky just out of reach. Those times when happiness was a just about perceivable thing. But it wasn’t enough. Because no matter how hard you tried, the puzzle pieces just didn’t fit,as if you were knocking together two things that shouldn’t be there, that wouldn’t fit together. 
‘It’s Rindou isn’t it?’ he asks and instead of feeling the numbing fear of being found out, you only nod against his chest, resigning yourself to whatever he might say next. 
‘I’m not mad Y/n. Maybe once I would have been but I’m not. I love you, and I love my Brother.’ Even though he’s putting on a brave face, his heart is breaking. His lips are a firm line. ‘He deserves you, and you deserve him.’ 
It would be easier if he was green with jealousy, if he was angry and thrashing and hurtful, if he just hated you because hate was so easy, would be so easy to swallow and accept and maybe you could leave him knowing he would still be whole.
‘Ran I’m sor-’
‘Don’t Y/N-’ he interjects and his grip around your arm tightens just a slight. Despite how much you loathe yourself for this, and he himself too, neither of you wants to back out, to go back to pretending. 
‘How did you know?’ Your voice is so small, muffled by the fabric of his shirt. Are you prepared for the answer? No, not at all, but you still need to hear it.
He looks down at you nestled against him and gives a weak but knowing smile. ‘I know Rindou better than he knows himself. Saw the way he looked at you, and you looked at him.’
Was there a way he could have prevented this? Maybe. Maybe if he was less neglectful and Rindou didn’t have to pick up the pieces every time the job took priority, if he wasn’t always the one in your company giving you the love you should have received from him. 
‘Why did you never say anything?’ 
‘I wanted to,’ he says. ‘But I didn’t want to have that conversation.’
‘Is that it?’
Say it Ran, you plead mentally. Tell me you didn’t love me enough to care. Say something horrible to me. Punish me for it.
‘And I didn’t want to take away someone who made you happy when I was too stupid and neglectful to do so.’ That lump in his throat is so thick with unshed tears that he feels like it’s choking him. He clears his throat, hoping the hoarseness of his voice can be mistaken for his cigarette smoking and not the fact that his ribs are crushing his heart.
The gravity of the situation and his words hit you like a sledgehammer to the chest. This is happening. You are separating after four years of marriage and the weight of the years descends on you like a stormcloud.
You whine against him and he only kisses your forehead.
‘Why do you not hate me?’ Your voice cracks and your eyes sting for the umpteenth time. 
‘Could never hate you Princess. Ever.’ 
It’s a testament to the years, to the fact that experience in love has taught him so much that’s softened him into who he is now. Still playful, still devious, but with a heart that lets in love, your love and only yours. It had taken so long to get to that point and perhaps that’s what hurts the most. The time spent trying to build something, the time you both feel you’ve wasted considering the circumstances. 
You love him, you do. But you’re not in love with him. Not any longer. 
Not since Rindou.
There was the crux of the issue.You could tell Rindou loved you too. You were old enough to know what it meant when his gaze lingered after you when you left a room, the attentiveness in his actions, the deep cadence of his voice that softened when he spoke to you, the smile he reserved for the days when he kept you company by the firelight. Too many times the light had caught the softness of his lips and you had wanted nothing more than to close the distance and kiss him outright. You never did, and Rindou loved his Brother too much to do it himself.
Shame boils in your gut. 
‘I’ll call the lawyers tomorrow,’ Ran whispers and removes his arms from around you, opting to take your hand in his instead. You’re grateful for the fact that he’s taken the initiative, realizing that maybe this is how it’s always been. Him racing ahead and you trailing behind after him, driftwood lost at shore.
‘Ran?’ Your voice quivers on his name. 
‘Yeah?’ 
‘Thank you…’ 
‘For what Princess?’ He doesn’t expect to be thanked for anything, least of all during the moment where he’s breaking your heart and you’re breaking his.
For some of the best days of my life. For being my first love. For loving me when I felt unlovable, in the moments I was unlovable.
‘Everything,’ you say and even though you want to cry, to sob, to wrench open a tear in the sky, you smile at him and the tension dissipates a little when he returns the smile, albeit hesitantly. Because even though you’re both in pain, you know that it doesn’t last. 
Maybe love between people like the two of you is eternal. Maybe there is no end. Maybe there will always be a string of fate that ties you together. 
a/n: I actually wrote this six months ago lol, how d'ya like it guys? I may write a part two (I have an idea already) depending on how you like this. I promise I do like Ran even if I'm constantly hurting him. I hope you all like it!
taglist: @reiners-milkbiddies @mxnjiros @islascafe @swqllen @prettyiolanthe @sugusshi @wotakuhime @snakegentleman @severellamahottub @haitaniapologist @lonnie19 @nafarsiti @bejeweled-night-33 @crown5 @clovly @oikawascutie @the-travelling-witch @orchid3a @rottingreveries @qiiuusoup @hoetani @sinfulseashell @welcome-to-the-internet-it-sucks @obitohno @tetsutits @burnishedcrown @sweet-seishu @megshikigami
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randomwritingsnips · 1 year ago
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"What are you talking about?" Grandmamah seemed taken aback.
"Nerissa never had a daughter!"
In the moment, Agatha froze, a chill running through her tentacles and possibilities began to aline.
She had felled the Queen, hadn't she? She had slain Nerissa, but then how would she have…
"I did it!" Ruby exclaimed in joy as she seam back to Chelseas' side, landing as she opened up her hand, showing the Trident of Oceanus, a smile spreading across her face.
Chelsea moved closer, staring at the Trident in awe and wonder.
"Mothers' Trident…" Chelsea muttered in awe, her eyes appearing to redden as she thought back what little memories she had of that Day.
Hidden away at her mothers' side, hidden within an Egg, nearly ready to burst open. She had seen it all. The Battle, the turn, her fall…
"I never thought that I'd really see it…" The Mermaid muttered as she reached out to grasp the Trident.
In a moment, something resonated within Chelseas' mind as her expression twisted, her giving out a cry as she erupted with steam all around her.
Ruby pulled back, protecting herself with her body Armor out of Instinct.
Once the steam subsided, the Kraken called out in a panic, "Chelsea! Are you okay!?"
As the steam cooled and a much larger form showed itself, a Scaley Form of a mermaid, flowing red hair turning to lines of foam.
As Chelsea opened her eyes, something felt…off…
"Krystal, Kraken…" She grimaced while staring at Ruby, as if she was a complete stranger.
-------
This is just a small piece of what I liked to think about after that reveal in the movie. I sorta like the idea of this a bit more. Maybe the Trident can have a memory of its Wielders by Species, leading to some sort of memory event. And of course there is the change of Chelsea being her own. What a depressing conclusion. Should have just made Chelsea her own character. Would be a more interesting suprise Twist for Agatha and her mother to discover this.
I watched the movie out of curiosity and to unwind, only to be so disappointed at this part that I've rewritten it as a fragment and revived this blog that laid dormant since I had heatstroke Last year and then 2023s' punches as an end result.
Here are my concepts of what can be done though. Instead Chelsea should have been her own character, indeed Nerissas' daughter, most likely still in her egg and having witnesses her own mothers' death.
Perhaps She is indeed Genuine as well, actually being friends with Ruby. Perhaps there are species based effects of the Trident of Oceanus. Maybe it brings up the memories of its past weilders, and with a trauma of having witnessed her mother having been slain, it can give just the right weakness for Chelsea to be over taken and almost possessed by the Trident, representing the past itself.
"A Kraken always answers the Call."
"A Mermaid remains true to her roots."
Perhaps she gets Ruby Early on into a bind and is about to slay her, only for tears to form as she tries to restain herself, not wanting to do it.
A Villian still, but an unintended one, making the real villain maybe the sins of the past.
Dunno if I'll update this one again, As I'd need to rewatch the movie again as I went to theaters, but here is this fragment and some of my ideas.
I wonder if people can ignore a companys' vision with enough audacity that they just retcon it in a sequel.
As a final piece, Maybe she does meet Agatha, and is holding onto Ruby in a way for comfort, as she is technically meeting then the Kraken that had killed her mother.
Maybe There is an argument in private where she demands Chelsea stay away from Ruby, as Mermaids can't be trusted, not even one.
This can also have a side effect of weakening Chelseas' resolve for an actual Peace, but memory of Ruby brings it all back, especially after Ruby picks her up and they leave.
Interesting if Also Chelsea gets called a monster by Agatha during that scene.
Suggest tags. I'm off to shower before the Infernal Meatball in the sky decides to fry me again.
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reasonsmandy · 2 years ago
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Your special someone
Eddie Roundtree × Fem!Reader
✧.* requested by anon — Hey could u possibly do an imagine with Eddie where y/n is graham and Billy’s sister and she just tours with the band and like one day she’s just sitting out on her own lowkey on the verge of tears cause she’s scared of what Billy’s becoming with his addiction so Eddie sees her and holds her and they have a moment and start to get closer and more touchy with each other (cuddly) and when billy goes to rehab her and Eddie take a trip together to wherever (you decide) and then Eddie confesses that he’s in love with her and she also confesses? You can add whatever u want but that’s just the general basis of it.
✧.* summary — Your brother's addiction to drugs made you more and more worried about him, you looked for a way to make him better, and in that moment of anguish the person who supported you the most was Eddie. And over time your relationship grew into something more.
✧.* warnings — mention of drugs, addicted Billy, maybe some mistakes in the timeline of the book (sorry about that).
✧.* word count — 2.4k
✧.* 🎸 — Eddie's masterlist
✧.* mandy's notes — I love writing declarations of love, this one made my heart warm. Hope you like it <3
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Being the sister of two rockstars was the biggest wish of all those people who were screaming for The six out there, but for you your brothers were much more than rock stars, they were what kept you sane, your foundations. Billy, Graham and you were always very close, and since you were little you always took care of each other.
Your love for them was something so big that you didn't have words to explain, even with all the mistakes - especially Billy's - you weren't able to stay upset with them for long.So when they told you they were going to LA to further the band's career your heart almost broke at the thought of being away from them for so long. You then talked to your mother and with the help of your brothers you convinced her to let you go with them.
Being with them throughout this trajectory filled your heart with pride, you could hardly believe that at that moment you were backstage at one of their concerts that was sold out. Words weren't enough to express your pride in them, and seeing them wearing the clothes you made was even more rewarding.
However, as unfortunately not everything is always happiness, you had spent the last days of the tour extremely worried about Billy. The last few days he was clearly overindulging in drugs and booze, even bringing you flashbacks of your father… The fight with Camila had sparked a much bigger drug craving in the older Dunne, he couldn't seem to stop and it was more and more visible.
Graham Dunne: Y/N tried to warn me, but we didn't really understand what addiction was back then. I thought he would recover with time, that it was just a relapse.
Y/N Dunne: I knew he was in bad shape, I didn't recognize my brother anymore... And if I'm honest with you, I was terrified.
Billy was once again snorting another line of cocaine, and watching your big brother do this made your heart clench in frustration.
"Billy, don't you think it's enough?" Concerned, you approach him, touching his shoulder.
"Are you my mother now?" He says rolling his eyes, pulling away from you. "I know when to stop, you don't have to take care of me."
He says as he walks away from you, staggering a little while feeling the effect of what he used. Not knowing what to do, you sit down, worried about what it all could cause later, the consequences of it all. They had just played the last song, the crowd's celebration was thrilling, and you knew you couldn't stay to watch your brother tear himself apart like he always did at the end of every show.
So you decided to take some time alone, you needed to think about how to help him, and since Graham didn't want to instruct you or at least think of something to solve it, you felt helpless… It wasn't like you could call your mother for help, after all she was in Pittsburgh and Billy was old enough for her to be able to force him to stop.
Eddie had become one of your best friends over the years, you were very close and he knew your concern for Billy and how it was affecting you. He had thought and even tried to talk to Billy about it but as usual he didn't listen to the blonde, so all he could do was try to calm you down, make you feel better.
As soon as Roundtree comes down from the stage, his eyes look for you, when he notices your absence he starts to worry because he knew that you always liked to be there at the end of the shows to congratulate them.
"Warren, have you seen Y/N?" the bassist asks.
"No man, did something happen?" Rojas asks, noticing his friend's worried expression.
"Thank you" he says not answering the drummer's question, heading towards the open part of the place hoping to find you there.
It was already half past midnight, the moon lit the streets along with the streetlights and you cried when you thought about the state your brother was in, it's very difficult to see someone you love with all your heart and soul in a situation like that, and the fear of losing him became more and more alive in you.
You sobbed while letting the tears escape, it was as if you were getting rid of, or at least trying to, a weight that had tormented you for many days. You wanted to have the solution for Billy, you wanted to be able to help him but your hands were tied.
Eddie saw you sat with your hands on your face, his chest tightened to see you sad like that, he cared about you in a way he couldn't explain and he hated when anything made you feel bad. The bassist was in love with you for a long time, he loved every detail about you and would probably do anything to see you well.
He approaches you slowly, expecting you to notice his presence, but you didn't. Roundtree reaches out his arm to poke your shoulder, You wipe your tears in an attempt to hide it from whoever was there, but when you notice it was him you smile weakly shaking your head, showing him that you weren't fine… that you needed him there.
"Is it okay if I sit here?" He whispers, waiting for your confirmation.
"Of course Ed'' You reply, holding out your hand for him to take, which he does.
"I hate seeing you like this…" He says, lacing his fingers through yours. "What can I do to help you, love?"
You smile at the nickname, you two had this way of treating each other which you decided not to name, you had a relationship that with all the characteristics could be called loving, but the two of you for some reason didn't want to risk making things different by talking about.
You were very affectionate with each other, hugs, nights sleeping together, cuddling and sometimes some make out sessions.
"I wanted so much to help him Eddie" Without holding back the tears you say, laying your head on his shoulder. "I hate seeing him like this, I feel so useless"
"Oh my love, you do your best for him" He says, enveloping you in a hug where you knew you could feel safe. "If you want I can help you with that idea you had"
Last night while you were in bed, you told Eddie your idea to call Teddy Price to help Billy, you were sure he would listen if it was Price who told him to control himself. The only problem is that you had no contact with him, and you had no idea how to get in contact with him without Billy knowing.
You watch him closely, the tears in your eyes started to fall you felt so supported by him, you know he would always be there for you. Relieved you let out a sigh, hugging him tighter. He hugs you back, stroking your back assuring you as much as he can that he'll be always there for you.
"You can count on me for whatever you need." He says, placing a kiss on your head. "I'll talk to Warren, he might know his number or where he is."
"I don't even know how to thank you." Eddie noticed that you were much more relieved the more you talked.
"I know…" He says smiling, you take your gaze to him. "Let's rest? I want you to be at peace with all of this, I'll sort it out. Do you trust me?"
"With my life" You smile, planting a kiss on the bassist's cheek.
It had been a few weeks since Billy had been in rehab, and although the fact that he was away was something that made you anxious you knew it was for his own good and that was enough. With Billy's absence the shows were cancelled, and they had to pass back the money the record company gave them, and with this free time you all took the opportunity to take a break before looking for any job.
Warren was obsessed with the boats that were around there, and he didn't spend a day away from the beach to have any chance of getting on one. Graham spent half his time with Karen, and although they swore no one knew about them, you knew your brother… you knew he was madly in love with her.
And you were now packing your bags for a trip with Eddie, you didn't have a lot of money for an extraordinary trip, but when he told you the idea of ​​going to a cabin just the two of you your eyes lit up with excitement. Eddie and you were in that friends-with-benefits thing, and although you wanted to make it official the fear of losing him spoke louder, after all Eddie was a rock star and rock stars didn't date seriously, you thought.
So besides the invitation to the trip that took you by surprise, you couldn't wait to be alone with him enjoying each other's company.
"Are you ready beautiful?" He asks, wrapping his arms around your waist.
"Almost Eddie, give me just a second" You open the closet, taking a few more things to complete your checklist. "Now I'm ready."
You turn to him, smiling with excitement the blonde places a kiss on your lips and looks you from head to toe
"You are wonderful..." He takes your hand, heading towards the exit with your bag in the other free hand.
After an hour of travel you arrived at the cabin, it was very cozy and would certainly be a great house for you that weekend. Inside, the decor was super characteristic, several vinyl records hanging on the walls, a fireplace with some armchairs around it. Upstairs is just the suite where you were going to sleep, you went up the stairs excitedly throwing yourself on the bed.
"Eddie this is amazing! I'm in love with everything here" You take your gaze to the window behind the bed, which had a wonderful view of the forest and lake beyond you.
"I'm glad you liked it my love" He lays down next to you on the bed, holding your hand he brings it to his mouth to kiss your knuckles. "It's always good to get away from problems with you"
You turn onto your stomach, looking tenderly at the blonde he smiles as he takes a closer look at your face, he was madly in love with you.
"If I could I would stay with you here forever" You approach him, kissing his nose. "So what? What are the plans for today?"
You and Roundtree had spent the afternoon enjoying each other's company, you danced together, he played a few songs while you ventured out to sing a little, then you decided to prepare things for dinner. And now, with only the moonlight illuminating you, the two of you were sitting in the cabin's backyard.
Just you and the noises of nature, you were sharing a bench you snuggled between the bassist's legs getting a cuddle from him, keeping your eyes closed. Eddie watches you, not believing that someone as wonderful as you was there with him, he didn't believe he was the lucky man who had the chance to hold you in his arms.
However, the thought that you could be with anyone else came to the blonde's mind after all... You weren't official. He knew you wouldn't do something without talking to him first, he trusted you, but the thought that someone could have the courage he didn't have to declare himself to you made him despair.
"I need to tell you something" The bassist says, making you open your eyes and watch him carefully.
"You can say it, I'm here for you." You say, smiling in an attempt to calm the boy who had a rapid heartbeat at this point. "You know I won't judge you or anything…"
"Y/N I can't pretend this doesn't affect me in a different way anymore" He lets out, making you startle at his choice of words.
"What do you mean?" You shift in the chair to look into his eyes.
"I can't pretend that I'm not in love with you baby." He concluded, now making your heart skip a beat. "I am in love with every detail that shapes you, I'm crazy about your smile, you're the most talented person I know, and also the kindest person ever...I mean, you can be nice to Billy! This is the hardest thing a human being can do."
He says making you laugh with the last sentence, slapping the bassist on the shoulder saying non-verbally "hey, that's my brother!"
"There is no one that makes me feel the way you do, and you know I'm terrible at showing what I feel, and even worse trying to put my feelings into words, but when it comes to you… fuck, Y/N! I can change the world just to see you smile" He says, bringing his hands to your waist, seeking closeness. "And I would never forgive myself if I let the best person in the world slip through my hands without even saying how I feel. I love you so much"
You can feel a few tears form in your eyes, an involuntary smile appears on your face when you hear those very beautiful words. Eddie Roundtree was the man that made you sigh, in many ways, he was the man that made you feel special, that made you feel safe, he was the person that would not only be there to help you, but to give you support in everything you set out to do. He was your special someone.
Without wasting time you end the distance between you with a kiss, your hands go towards the bassist's neck from time to time taking your fingers to the man's hair, he kisses you tenderly like he wants it to last forever, like he doesn't want to feel you far away anymore.
"I'm crazy for you Eddie" You confess, your foreheads were together while your eyes were closed. "I love you, and I'm in love with you too baby."
Y/N Dunne: Well, Billy was in for a big surprise when he got back from rehab. *Laughing* He was jealous for sure, but he knew deep down that there was no one who made me feel better than Eddie.
Eddie Roundtree: What can I say? I'm in love with her.
...
Hi, I hope you enjoyed it... If you wanted to ask for something my requests are open, and if you want to ask and don't have any ideas check out my prompt list :) xoxo
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xxrainstorm · 1 year ago
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Raring
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Pairing: Joakim “Jolly” Karlsson x reader
Word Count: 863 Cross posted Wattpad
cw / tags: smut, breeding kink
18 + MINORS DO NOT INTERACT
Authors note: Alrighty I’ve decided to finally start posting my fanfics I have always wrote them just for me but never posted any publicly and decided to finally just bite the bullet and go for it. I am gonna apologize in advanced I’m not very skilled my grammar and spelling may be slacking but desperate times come desperate measures. There is simply not enough bad omens fanfics especially not about Jolly, Nicholas and Folio so that’s what I’m gonna shoot mainly for. Noah gets enough attention as it is so now it’s the rest of the bands turn. That being said if you have any suggestions or ideas DM me or put it in my ask and I’ll do what I can to write for you 🖤 I am still down to write about Noah I’d just really prefer the other three especially Joakim because he is the love of my life even if he doesn’t know it yet 😅
I love criticism. Tell me what you like and what you don’t. Feel free to drop suggestions. Just bare with me I will eventually get the hang of this lol.
P. S. I suck at titles so I apologize I’m advanced for that
Joakim had managed to seduce you into bed for the 3rd time today already having made you cum once with his mouth and once with his fingers before whisking you off to the bedroom yet again. 
He practically throws you back onto on the bed before quickly stripping out of clothes and climbing on top of you kissing you hungrily. He takes his time marking you covering your breasts in hickies before roughly pinning your arms above your head and forcing your legs apart. 
He grabs his shaft and roughly slides his tip up and down your folds teasing your clit with it covering himself in your slick arousal. You were already so sensitive it almost hurt. Your entire body shuddered in response to his cruelty. You can't help but try to grind your hips against him desperate for some relief. 
"Ah...fuck Joakim please" you cry out "Just fuck me already!"
"Such a needy girl aren't you baby" he chuckles lining himself up with your entrance before slowly sinking into you bottoming himself out. He stills deep inside you giving you a moment to adjust to the familiar sting of his size. He leans down and kisses you sweetly before slowly pulling himself almost all the way out of your soaked cunt. He roughly slams his cock back into you making you yelp into his kiss bringing tears to your eyes from the oversensitivity. 
He can feel you clenching around him quickly building up to your third orgasm of the evening and knows you won't last much longer. He also knows the second he feels you spasm around him releasing yourself all over him he will instantly be a goner too.
"Where do you want me to cum pretty girl?" He rasps hot breath tickling your neck  "do you want me to fill you up? Put a baby in you?" he teases 
His words cause you involuntarily clench harder around his throbbing cock. Joakim notices, smiling deviously down at you as he continues thrusting roughly in and out of you. 
" I see, I see" he chuckles darkly "you love the idea of me filling you up don't you Princess?" 
His words alone are making your head spin your third orgasm growing closer and closer with every passing second. He thrusts deeper, and faster than you thought possible his massive cock brushing against your cervix with each stroke pushing you closer and closer to coming completely undone around him. 
"You want me to fuck a baby into you don't you Raring? You love the idea of being round with MY baby" you moan in response and he shakes his head clicking his tongue at you before brushing your hair off of your sweat slick forehead and tucking it behind your ear
"Use your words baby. Look me in the eyes and tell me what you want from me" he coos using his thumb to lightly circle your clit, teasing you just enough to leave you whimpering and begging for more.
"Please, please Daddy use me" you begged looking into his eyes struggling to get the words out between feverish moans  "I need you to fill me I wanna feel you " 
His eyes darken. He grips your hips so tightly you are certain there will be bruises tomorrow. He thrusts into you with such force it causes the bed frame to slam against the wall with each stroke. 
"I know you're close baby, let go cum for me" he groans and that was all it took to send you toppling over the edge. You screamed out his name clawing at his forearms as he continued to hold you still and thrust into you with all his might. A few seconds later he spills into you filling you with his warm cum. He collapses on top of you sweaty and out of breath. You both lay in silence trying to catch your breaths as you feel him soften still inside you. You absentmindedly play with his hair brushing it out of his face while rubbing his upper back. 
After a few more minutes of cuddles he finally pulls himself off of you, both of you wincing as he pulls out. You attempt to get up to clean yourself but he pushes you back down hovering above you. 
"Nope. uh uh I was serious y/n" 
You furrow your eyebrows in confusion 
"I am giving you a baby. You are gonna lay your ass down and stay there filled with my cum. You better get used to it because it's gonna be a daily occurrence until I finally make you a mom" he says 
"I'd like that" you smile up at him "for the record I think you would be an amazing daddy" 
He smiles and leans down kissing your forehead, then your belly then your lips before climbing out of bed and cleaning himself up. He throws on a pair of joggers and gently helps you a pull on a pair of panties and his t shirt careful not to spill any of his seed before turning on a movie and pulling you into his chest where you doze off dreaming of your future family
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alexsoenomel · 2 years ago
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Surprise (Sam Winchester x Reader fluff)
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Request by @maddiebwrites : finding out you are pregnant with Sam’s kid
Pairing: Sam x Reader
Warnings: READER IS DRINKING, KNOWINGLY PREGNANT!!!!
Word count: 1828
Note: Thank you for the request Maddie. Hope you enjoy!
Like/ reblog or both if you like it :)
SHOUT OUT TO MY GIRL NATALIE FOR HELPING ME GET THIS FIC TO NOT SUCK!!! FOLLOW MY QUEEN SHE IS THE BEST AND HAS SOME GREAT WRITING SKILLSSSSSS @ambergoddess444​
It took three positive tests, two blue lines and a period that was 10 days late for the realization to hit you like a truck...You were pregnant.
It didn't seem real, especially because you were taking the pill regularly. You knew there was always a risk but you didn't think it would happen to you. You and Sam were always careful, especially because of the life you lived; bringing a child into this world, into your lives, it wasn't right. A child wouldn't stand a chance to have a hint of normalcy in its life, since your life was far from normal. Between mom and dad killing monsters and occasionally saving the world, doing math homework? Sam would probably teach the kid all about demon lore rather than algebra. How can a kid have a normal life when mom and dad were hunters?
You were looking at the three tests, stunned. Your heart was in your throat, trying to process what was right in front of you.
"No, it can't be....No." You mumbled and tossed the tests in the bin next to the toilet. "Fuck no."
How were you going to tell Sam? You never talked about having kids, you just thought it was automatically out of the question since having a boring, suburban life seemed like a fairytale at this point.
You couldn't take the thoughts rushing and haunting your mind so you went to the kitchen and poured yourself a glass of whiskey. One thing you knew, was when you didn't want to think, you would drink. Time stopped after the first sip, and after the second you decided to take the glass and the whole bottle and go back to your room. You completely shut down, scrolling through Tik Tok, sipping on whiskey until you could feel yourself slipping away from sobriety into a drunken state.
Sam was out fetching groceries since Dean came back last night at some ungodly hour, totally hammered, and ate everything in the fridge and passed out. He was still asleep and it was almost 3PM.
It wasn't unusual for your period to be late for five days max; sometimes stress would get the best of you. Being a hunter wasn't an easy job description, but it never occurred to you that it could happen. After five days passed, you bought three tests just in case, without Sam knowing of course.
Thank God you did.
Your eyes and ears didn’t even register the door of your room opening.
"(Y/N)?" Sam asked as his gaze went straight to the bottle on your nightstand. It was still somewhat full since by that point you only had two glasses and it was enough to get you drunk, since you haven’t had lunch yet.
You immediately put your phone down to look at him, taken aback by his presence. You had to tell him.
"Are you okay?" He knew something was wrong. He always knew. You have been together for a long time, he could read you like a book. He told you once, it was easy to see when you were distraught, your face structure would change and your eyes would have a specific glow or no glow at all. Even if you tried to hide it from him, you couldn't.
"Huh? Define okay." You slurred. He sat on the edge of the bed and you kissed his cheek. He was immediately struck by a strong smell of alcohol.
"Are you...drunk?"
"A little, yeah."
"What happened? Talk to me." He was worried and rightfully so. Your eyes were bloodshot as tears were just about to roll down your cheeks. You were holding everything back, trying to bury it deep inside of you, even though you knew you couldn't.
"I-I have a surprise for you," You started as you wiped away the first tear on your cheek. "And you ain't gonna like it."
"What? You're scaring me." Sam’s eyes were wide fixed on you as his face changed, from calm and collected to worried and about to panic. Lips slightly parted after he swallowed nervously, waiting for you to answer.  
You got up with the last bit of strength you had and went to the bathroom to get the tests out of the bin. Sam was frozen and silent. You sat next to him and gave him the three tests you took a couple of hours before.
"I'm pregnant, Sam." You confessed, feeling your stomach tightening as fear took over your whole body. You were still under the influence of alcohol, but sober enough to feel every emotion in you.
Sam was stunned. He was looking at the tests then at you, mouth slightly open, trying to find the words before a huge smile appeared on his face.
"How did we....I mean...." He stuttered trying to find the right words. "I never..."
"You know when we finished that case in San Diego, couple of weeks back? We all got drunk, Dean went to get laid and we had...drunk sex?"
"Yeah? Did I...?” Sam started fidgeting with the tests, checking them again to make sure every one of them was positive before looking back at you with a confused lost puppy look on his face.
"Yeah, I told you to. That's what I remember anyway. First time we came at the same time." Sam immediately blushed hearing those words. You took a sip of whiskey straight from the bottle, feeling the sting deep in your throat. It was strong but smooth.
That night was wild and a night to remember. Flashbacks started appearing in your mind, of you and Sam devouring each other with each kiss, hands all over each others’ skin, like you were teenagers again. You didn't remember much, but it was enough. That night was filled with lust and love so strong it would make anyone jealous.
"Huh, yeah." He smirked. "I still have the marks on my back..." He said, remembering how loud you were that night, how hot you were moaning his name over and over agai- "But wait, aren’t you still on the pill?"
"That's the best part. Yes I am." You laughed. "Yes, I fucking am."
"Hey, hey!" As you were about to take another sip of whiskey, Sam took the bottle from your hands. "No more!"
"Sam! Let me be drunk, I need to process this." You protested, trying to take the bottle from his hands, but he was quick enough to move his hand out of your reach.
"Not with alcohol, (Y/N)! With me!" His tone became slightly louder forcing you to hear him
He was right. He was always right. That's why you loved him so much. Every time you would feel like your mind was slipping away and you would try to get it back with unhealthy coping mechanisms, he would pull you back from it and vice versa. That's why you worked so well.
"Okay." You finally mumbled under your breath. "But what are we going to do? This life is not for a child."
"We never actually talked about having kids." He said and took your hand. His skin was always so warm, especially his hands.
"Yeah, and we have been together for what, 5 years?"
Sam chuckled. "7 in two months, (Y/N)."
You never really cared about anniversaries. You found them pathetic and unnecessary. After two years with him, you completely forgot when your anniversary was, but Sam didn’t. He liked memorising silly details about your relationship. He even remembered the exact date that you first went out, since your relationship started with one drunk kiss and a whole lot of moaning first.
"Seven fucking years and still, every time I look at you I feel like a teenager with a crush." Your confession made Sam smile, but you on the other hand were breaking down. You started crying, every emotion you were locking up inside began pouring out. You loved him so much, sometimes even more than yourself. He was your best friend, your rock, your everything. You couldn't imagine your life without him and you definitely didn't want to terminate this pregnancy. Even with the life you lived, you created this child with nothing but love you had for one another and it deserved a chance.
"Hey, (Y/N), it's going to be okay. I love you and we are in this together." He always knew his way with words. Always.
"Can we cuddle for a little bit, please?" You asked with a light sniffle.
Sam nodded and soon after, you were both under the blankets of the bed you shared, cuddling and him of course being the big spoon.
"You know I would never pressure you into doing something you don't want, right?" He said, placing a kiss on your shoulder.
"I know Sam. But I feel bad."
"Why?"
"I'm aware of the life we both live. I'm aware of everything, but at the same time I do want kids. I want kids with you."
You never actually said it since you never talked about it, but it was true. Growing up, you thought you would never have kids because you never met a person you trusted 100%. Not until you met Sam. Something in you shifted but at the same time it was clashing with your rational thoughts. WAS THAT KID GOING TO HAVE A GOOD LIFE?
"As crazy as this sounds, I also want the same thing with you. And even if you told me you didn't want to keep it, you know I don't have a right to dictate what you can and cannot do with your body?"
You smiled as you took his index finger into your hand as he was pulling you closer to him. It was a relief knowing he thought the same. "Yes I know."
The amount of respect he had for you, the love he constantly showed you with, all you could think was how lucky you were.
"Do you want a boy or a girl?" You asked him, genuinely curious.
"I just want a happy, healthy kid, with mom's temper and dad's humor."
"And Uncle Dean's ability to piss us off." You added, turning around to look at him. His eyes were glowing as he was looking back at you, staring into your soul with his beautiful hazel eyes. His eyes reminded you of two small ecosystems since every colour in them reminded you of trees and life.
You kissed him, feeling a light moan escape his mouth as he kissed back instantly.
"We are going to be parents." He said, still not fully comprehending everything.
"Imagine a mini you running around the bunker and eating Uncle Dean's pie."
"And telling Mommy that Daddy said yes to ice cream for dinner."
"You little shit you are not going to do that." You said messing up his hair a little bit.
"I won’t." He laughed.
"You and Dean are going to spoil this kid to no end. I just know it."
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onceuponastory · 2 years ago
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letting you down - rockstar!bucky x reader
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Don't you get sick of only hearing your own voice? Talk like you're so damn tough, but you're just a little boy You like to think you've broke the mould, but now I'm sure, You'll crack just like the rest when I break your fucking jaw! - the best thing (that never happened) by we are the in crowd
Edit: Although the girl I used in the original moodboard was meant to be Natasha, I want my fics to be inclusive for all, so have updated the moodboard to reflect this. Plot: Tour romances mean nothing serious...right?
Or, fresh out of a breakup and deciding to focus on her music, Y/N jumps at the chance to go on tour with one of her favourite bands to take her mind off of things. Especially romance. Unfortunately for her, their drummer just can't keep his eyes off of her. Pairing: Rockstar!Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader Warnings: Emotional abuse and manipulation (not from Bucky), reader’s ex being a dick, self doubt, a tiny mention of violence and anxiety. As always, if I miss any triggers, please let me know. Notes: Another rockstar Bucky fic, because I do love him so. Also, this was inspired by song above, so I recommend you listen to it (also because it’s a great song). Again, thanks to @staticscreenwriting / @astartothemoon for my dividers. Not beta’d, so any mistakes are my own.
Taking a seat on the cold wooden chair in her agent’s office, Y/N anxiously nibbles on the skin of her lip, almost tearing it off with how nervous she is. Only an hour ago, she was told to come to the office urgently because her agent had news for her, too important to share over the phone. The whole time, she’s been wracking her brain to figure out what she could want to tell her. And each time, her mind has come up with the worst potential outcomes. And after just being dumped, that’s the last thing she needs right now. “So, we have some news.” Helen, her agent, announces, peering at her over the frame of her glasses. Y/N gulps. It’s the sort of look a mother gives her child when they’re caught sneaking cookies out of the jar, or when she knows that they’re the one who broke her vase. Either way, it’s not a good sign. She’s definitely about to be dropped. Maybe Dylan's right. Maybe she’s not cut out for this. Her stomach churns, and she warily eyes the exit, just in case.
“Good news, I hope…?” She chuckles awkwardly, starting to hope the ground will swallow her whole.
“It depends on whether you have any plans in September.” Frowning, Y/N raises a brow. However, before she can even ask why, Helen continues. “Because The End of The Line wants you to open for them on their US Tour that month.” She states casually. Y/N’s mouth drops open.
“WHAT?!” she squeals. “Are you serious?!” The End of The Line is a band she knows very well. Okay, she knows their music. Yet, considering how they’ve got multiple number ones and album nominations under their belts, practically everyone knows who they are. They’re one of the most successful bands going in the scene right now. But she had no idea they knew who she was. What feels like only a few months ago, Y/N was posting her own original songs on her YouTube and performing in her local bar…and now, she’s going on tour with one of her favourite bands. Not even that. Imagine the exposure this could bring. All the new fans and support. She doesn’t even realise how much her heart is beating or how close she is to hyperventilating until Helen passes over a glass of water.
“Don’t be so modest.” She tuts. “The first single you released has been in the Top 10 for weeks, and your album is selling incredibly well. You’re in high demand, and people know it.” Y/N gulps down the water almost in one go, still shaking. “Are you okay? I don’t want you passing out on my floor.”
“No, no. I’m okay! I’m good.” Y/N lies. Helen raises a brow.
“Okay, well I need to confirm your attendance with their team so they can schedule a meeting with them and the band to go over venues. And then there’s merchandising, transport arrangements….” Helen’s voice fades into static as Y/N grapples with the situation. She’s going on tour with one of her favourite bands. They know who she is, and they like her. She pinches her skin a few times, wondering if she’s still dreaming. That she’ll open her eyes and she’ll be a nobody again, her perfect Cinderella story over. 
However, the repeated pinching doesn’t work, meaning that this is real. That revelation somehow both makes her relieved and absolutely terrified. Sure, she’s going on her first tour…but that means there’s more people to disappoint. The band, for a start. But then again, going on tour means meeting one of her favourite bands ever. Not to mention that by getting herself out there, more and more people can discover her music, and she can hopefully do what she loves for a living, rather than waiting tables for the rest of her life. Which means potentially more tours and new albums. And she won’t have to spend as much time in her practically empty apartment now that Dylan’s left. “So? What should I say?” Helen asks, peering over the rim of her glasses again.
Taking a breath, Y/N answers: “Tell them I’d love to tour with them.”
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A few weeks later, Y/N and Helen enter the building where she’s about to meet The End of the Line and their agent. Glancing around the vast building, Y/N’s heart rate picks up. A year ago, she could only dream of going to a place like this for a visit, let alone to meet one of the biggest bands in the scene to plan a tour with them. As they enter the elevator, Y/N fiddles with the waistband of her trousers, suddenly feeling more and more constricted. 
“Maybe this was the wrong outfit choice. Maybe I should’ve been more casual?” She wonders. “Actually, maybe I should just go. I definitely do not fit in here. Sure, I’ll be getting out of the house, but is it really worth all this?” Y/N bounces anxiously on her heels, waiting for the elevator to reach the floor they need so she can make a break for it. 
“Y/N, please calm down before you stress me out. That’s the last thing either of us needs.” Helen sighs.
“Sorry. I’m just nervous.” Yet she can tell Helen’s words are not malicious. Helen really does care for her. She just has a funny way of showing it sometimes.
“I know. Trust me, though, they don’t bite. And I made Tony promise that he’d play nice, too.” She chuckles. Y/N doesn’t laugh. The elevator dings, and Helen announces that they’ve made it. Y/N’s heart drops. Although she considered running, she now can’t move. “Come on.” Helen orders, beckoning her to follow. Y/N does as she asks, as if on autopilot.
“That woman must have magic powers.” She thinks to herself.
When they reach the meeting room, to Y/N’s surprise, Helen simply walks in without knocking, giving her no time to prepare. 
“Well, look who finally arrived! It’s wonderful to see you again, Helen.” A man grins, shaking Helen’s hand. He’s dressed in a crisp black suit, one that Y/N recognises absolutely costs more than her rent for a year. Presumably that’s Tony. Y/N steps forward, ready to introduce herself. Until-
“Hey! You must be Y/N!” Before she can even react, Natasha Romanoff is standing in front of her. Y/N gulps. 
“Yeah, that’s me. It’s nice to meet you!” She holds out a hand for her to shake, but Natasha pulls her into a hug instead. 
“There’s one thing you gotta know about Nat. She’s a hugger.” She recognises Steve’s voice, but suddenly realising Natasha Romanoff is a real person to then being hugged by her in such a short space of time is a lot for Y/N to cope with.
“You’re gorgeous! I can’t wait to go on tour with you!” Nat squeals, and Y/N mutters something in reply, still in shock. 
“Nat, let the poor girl breathe and let the rest of us say hi!” a voice speaks, and Y/N is soon released from Nat’s grasp. Then, she meets the rest of the band, starting with Steve and Sam. “And over there is…” 
But the man on the couch needs no introduction. Bucky Barnes leans against the back of the couch, twirling a drumstick between his tattooed fingers. In fact, tattoos cover both of his arms and most of his hands, little of his actual skin showing. He cocks his head, looking over her body with a smile. This man just oozes confidence…and he’s fucking gorgeous.
“Bucky.” She whispers, although not quietly enough, as Bucky laughs.
“Yup, that’s me.” Y/N blushes. Bucky gets up and shakes her hand. Her fingers brush over the calluses dotted around his fingers, and a shiver reverberates through her body. “Nice to meet you.” He smiles, and Y/N gulps. Fuck, this man is attractive, and he knows it. And he probably knows that she knows it too, given how he’s looking at her. Nothing can come of this, though. She’s here to do a job and for her music, not to fall in love. Especially after everything that’s happened in her love life, and especially not with a band guy like Bucky Barnes. 
“Come on, let’s start planning.” Tony orders. As the group takes their seats, Bucky sits right across from her, still smiling. Still staring at her. Y/N’s breath hitches in her throat.
She can already tell…he’s got trouble written all over him.
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The next few months of interviews, photoshoots and practice sessions whizz by in a blur. In seemingly no time at all, it’s time for Y/N to go on tour. She looks up at the tour buses, her stomach churning with both excitement and her nerves. 
Is it too early to go home?
“Hey! You made it!” a voice calls. And there go her escape plans.
“Hey Eddie. Do you know where I’m supposed to be staying? Am I with you guys on your bus?" she asks. Eddie is one of the band’s merch guys, and since meeting, the pair gelled right away, something which Y/N is immensely grateful for. Of course, she’s glad she and the band are getting on so well, but it’s nice to have a friend who isn’t in a band, someone she can just talk to about anything. In all honesty, Y/N’s still nervous around the band. They’re lovely, but she’s star-struck and hopelessly awkward whenever she’s with them, which isn’t a good thing when you’re trying to make friends. 
To her confusion, though, Eddie chuckles. “Sorry Y/N, but you’re not with us.” He gestures his head to the other bus. “The musicians are all in there.” Y/N gulps. This isn’t what she expected. She feels like a fish out of water, even now. Like she doesn’t belong. She’s just an opener, a nobody.
“But-” 
“Yes, that means you too.” Eddie cuts her off. “And we’re full.” He continues before she can say anything more. “On you go.” When she doesn’t move, he gently nudges her forward, towards the door of the bus. “You better be fast and get a good bunk!” He calls after her as she nervously steps on board. 
As she makes her way to the bunk area, clutching her bag close to her chest, Y/N looks around the bus, her home for the next few weeks. Its kitchenette is even bigger than her kitchen at home. Actually, this whole bus is bigger than her apartment. Earlier this year, she could only dream of standing on a bus like this, yet alone living here. This is definitely going to take some getting used to. 
“Hey guys.” She smiles when she reaches the bunks. They all smile when they see her, each welcoming her to her new home, which makes her feel a little less nervous. “So, which bunk is mine?” 
“You’re up here, above me.” Bucky answers. Y/N’s eyes widen, and immediately, her nervousness is back. Bucky? She’s sleeping in close proximity to Bucky? The same drummer who’s been on her mind ever since she met him, despite her attempts to block him out? How can this possibly go wrong? “I hope that’s okay. If you’d rather have the bottom one, just say.” He reassures her. Despite her nerves, Bucky’s commitment to making sure she’s okay and comfortable makes her smile. 
“No, the top one is totally fine. Thanks Bucky.” She nods, trying to throw her bag onto the bed, but unable to reach.
“Let me help you with that.” Bucky chuckles. 
“Are you sure? I’m okay Bucky, it’s-” But the bag falls to the floor before she can finish her sentence. Bucky laughs again. Yet it’s not a mocking laugh. It’s a friendly laugh, actually. “Okay, maybe I do need help.” Bucky picks up her bag, lifting it over her head and onto the bunk with ease. As he does, she immediately notices his proximity to her. He’s so close that he’s almost trapping her between the bunks. So close she could reach out and run her finger along every single outline of each of Bucky’s tattoos, touch every freckle and birthmark dotting his skin. Y/N gasps. She never realised how muscular he was at first. “Thanks.” She smiles.
“You’re welcome.” He nods. For a moment, it’s as if it’s just them two on the bus, in their own little universe, each staring into the other’s eyes. But then, a little voice sounds in Y/N’s head.
“Don’t get with band dudes. They’re no good. And they’re the last thing you need, especially now.” And so, she pulls away. As she does, she registers Bucky’s smile faltering slightly. “So, what are the beds like? Are they comfy?” She asks, climbing up to her bunk, hoping to change the subject. 
“Yeah, they’re alright.” Bucky replies, his voice mumbled slightly. As she lays down, Bucky’s smile fading and his slight disappointment replays in her mind. His disappointment confuses her.
This is for her own good.
For both of their own good.
So why does she feel so bad about it?
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Early the next morning, Y/N sits alone at the small table in the bus’ kitchenette, staring out at the window and watching the world go by. A steaming mug of coffee sits opposite her. Unsurprisingly, her nerves meant she didn’t sleep well the night before. Especially since tomorrow marks the first night of the tour, and her first time performing for people who aren’t the regulars at her local bar.
“Hey.” A familiar voice speaks, pulling her out of her thoughts as Bucky sits opposite her. Y/N rubs her eyes, mumbling a good morning. “You good? Wasn’t expecting anyone else to be up so early.” He remarks. She waits, a part of her expecting a cheeky or sarcastic comment to follow. However, there’s no malice in Bucky’s comment. In fact, it’s far from cruel. It’s from a place of concern, making sure she’s alright after having her world changed practically overnight. And Y/N appreciates it more than he’ll ever know.
“Yeah, I’m okay.” Y/N murmurs, wiping at her eyes. “Just homesick, that’s all. I’m not used to being away from home on tour yet. I mostly just stick to playing local bars.” It’s not exactly a lie. Sure, it’s not the main reason she’s sitting here teary eyed at not even 8.30am, but it’s still part of it. Bucky’s brow furrows. A part of her expects him to judge her, or to laugh at her for being so inexperienced. Like she’s used to people doing. Well…like she’s used to Dylan doing. Or worse, he’ll start prying. Something she absolutely isn’t ready for. However, Bucky simply nods. 
“Yeah, I get that. It took us all a while to get used to it, too. But don’t worry, you’re doing great, and you’re definitely good enough to be on tour.” And for the first time that morning, Y/N finds herself smiling. 
“So, now we’ve established why I’m here so early in the morning, can I ask why you are?” 
“Well, I’ve always been a bit of an early bird, and when you share a bus with three other people, some of whom snore….” He trails off, and he and Y/N laugh. “I usually take this time to write some music, but it’s nice to have some new company for once.”
“Have you been working on anything special?” Bucky shrugs.
“Just some things here and there. Maybe we could plan a writing session.” 
“Just us?” Y/N regrets the question almost immediately. Because who does that? Who asks a cute guy who talks about hanging out with you if his friends will tag along too?
“If you want.” Bucky smiles, and something in Y/N’s stomach flutters. “Okay, I’m gonna get some breakfast.” Bucky announces, getting up. “Do you want some?”
“Sure, what have you got?”
“We have…cereal or cereal.” He offers, holding up two boxes. Y/N laughs.
“Wow, what varied choices. I think I’ll have cereal, please.” Y/N points out the box she wants, and Bucky nods.
“A wise choice.” Y/N giggles again, and he grins. He passes over a bowl and sits back down. The pair chat as they eat their breakfast, laughing at each other’s jokes. Y/N can feel her heart beating like crazy. She never imagined she would be here, doing simple things like eating breakfast with a rockstar, or that they’d get along so well. Especially so soon after having her heart broken. It’s an unfamiliar experience…but it’s a nice, comfortable one all the same. 
As the morning goes on, the rest of the band slowly make their way towards them, and the bus fills with laughter and chatter. Bucky drums a rhythm on the table, and once again Y/N finds herself smiling as she watches him play, and as the others all sing along. Yet, despite how much fun she’s having at that moment, all she can think about is when this tour will be over, and how, when it ends, she’s going to be heartbroken and alone all over again. And she can’t handle that pain. Not again.
She has to limit the risk of heartbreak, wherever possible. 
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The next night, Y/N paces around the green room, nervously murmuring to herself. “I can’t do this. I can’t do this. Oh god, they’re gonna hate me.” She wrings her hands together. “Is it too late to go home?”
“Hey, it’s alright Y/N. Calm down. Take deep breaths.” Sam encourages. 
“Yeah, you’ll be fine! You’ve practised more than enough for this. We were nervous our first time too.” Natasha continues, and the others nod. Yet, Y/N shakes her head.
“No. I won’t. It’s a huge crowd, and I’m not good enough.” A figure stands in front of her, gently taking her arms.
“Y/N.” Bucky. “I promise you, you are good enough for this. After all, that’s why we brought you on tour with us, right, guys?” A chorus of agreement fills the room, alleviating her worry slightly. 
“What if they hate me, though?”
“Nobody’s going to hate you. Did you see the reaction we got when we announced you? Everyone is so excited, and you’re going to go out there and kill it, just like you did in rehearsal.” Seeing that she’s still nervous, Bucky leans in slightly closer. “When you’re out there, imagine you’re performing just for us, like before. Think you can do that?” He asks.
“I guess….” She murmurs, and Bucky smiles. 
“Good girl. Want us to walk down to the stage with you?” He asks, and she nods. When the time comes, the band does exactly that, reassuring her the whole way there. As she waits for the song before she goes out to finish, Y/N takes deep breaths. She registers someone squeezing her hand, and Bucky whispers in her ear. “Don’t worry. Just like you practised. We’ll be right here, watching.” Y/N nods.
And then, it’s time, and Y/N steps onto the stage. Immediately, she launches into her first song. To her surprise, most of the crowd seems to know it, and she can see the people in the first few rows singing along and dancing. Even those who don’t know her look like they’re having a good time. And the same things happen with the second song. And the next song. The crowd seems to love her. 
After a few songs, Y/N takes a minute to have a drink.
“Hey guys! I’m Y/N.” The crowd cheers, and she can’t help but smile. “Some of you may know this, but this is my first actual show on an actual tour, and what a fucking amazing crowd and band to start my tour life with!” More cheers. “So thank you all, but especially thank you to The End of the Line!” She glances to the side of the stage, catching the eyes of the band. All four grin, giving her a thumbs up. Y/N smiles proudly. “This next song is called Crimson. Sing along if you know it.”
Y/N’s set goes by both quicker and better than she expected. As she gets closer to the end of her set, the band leaves to finish getting ready for their own set. However, Y/N doesn’t mind. She already feels more confident than she did at the beginning. As she finishes up her last song, she calls out: “Thank you all so fucking much! I’m gonna be hanging out at the merch table over there for a bit if you wanna come say hi or tell me I was shit. Fuck it, you guys bought the tickets.” She giggles. “Goodnight!”
When she makes it to the merch stand, Eddie hands her a beer, which she almost downs. “Damn girl.” Eddie praises. “That was fucking awesome!”
“You think?”
“Uh, yeah! The crowd loved you. We’ve sold a bunch of your merch already.” She gasps.
“You’re kidding.” He shakes his head, gesturing to something behind her. Y/N turns around to see some girls standing there, staring at her all wide eyed. “Oh sorry. Am I in your way for merch? Just tell me to move. It’s okay.”
“You were amazing! I love your music so much.” One of them grins, holding out her ticket and a sharpie. “Can you sign my ticket, please?” Y/N’s mouth drops open. She wasn’t actually expecting people to want to meet her.
“And mine!” The others chorus.
“T-Thanks!” Still slightly in shock, Y/N nods, signing each ticket and taking pictures with each of them. Soon, a few more fans come to see her, and still amazed, Y/N repeats the cycle. This is her first ever meet and greet, the first time people actually like her.
“Have a good night!” She calls as they go back towards the crowd. “Did that just happen, or am I fucking dreaming?!” she asks Eddie, who laughs.
“I told you. They love you.”
During The End Of The Line’s set, Y/N stands side stage watching them, smiling and singing along to every song as the crowd laps it up, screaming every word back to them. They’re such incredible performers. Maybe one day, that’ll be her, selling out venues across the country. She glances out on the stage, watching as the band plays. Natasha jumps around, her red hair swinging around wildly. Sam and Steve lean against each other as they play their guitars, smiling and joking with each other. And then, she sees Bucky, drumming furiously, his arms moving rapidly. He throws his hands up into the air, twirling his drumsticks between his fingers. Once the song ends, he runs his hand through his hair, strands sticking to his sweaty forehead. Breathlessly, he smiles, mouthing a thank you to the crowd. Y/N feels her breath hitching in her throat. He looks so gorgeous, a true rockstar. 
In an ideal world, one where she and her love life aren’t so broken, they’d probably be together. But there’s no way that can happen. She can see how the girls in the crowd look at him and the others. If he has the pick of any girl he wants, why would he ever go for her?
After all, she’s just an opener. Feeling her heart sinking, Y/N sighs sadly. With one last look at Bucky, she turns and walks back to the green room.
After their set, the band comes back to the green room. To her surprise, though, they’re not talking about their set…they’re talking about hers. “I knew it! You were perfect!” Natasha squeals. “We’re so proud of you!”
“And Eddie told us about your meet and greet. The fans love you.” Sam praises. Before Y/N can say anything, the band envelopes her in a group hug. The overwhelming love and support shown to her throughout the night suddenly reaches a head. Immediately, tears come to her eyes, and soon, Y/N begins crying.
“Oh god, sorry was it too much? We can be a lot, so if you’re uncomfortable, just tell us, sweetheart.”
“No! I’m just…not used to all this, to being shown so much support all at once.” She murmurs, and a chorus of “awww!” fills the room.
“Trust us.” Natasha smiles. “You deserve it.”
“Welcome to touring life Y/N! As a celebration, I say we go get food. My treat.” Steve grins.
“Wow, you’re paying? That’s new. You should savour this experience Y/N.” Sam teases, and the group dissolves into laughter. As she looks around at the band, her new friends who changed her life, Y/N smiles, already feeling her anxieties beginning to melt away slightly.
“Come on then. Let’s go.”
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“That was so good. And it tasted even better since I didn’t pay.” Sam grins, and Y/N laughs. 
“Shove off. It’s your turn next time.” Steve replies. As Sam, Steve and Natasha walk on ahead, Bucky falls into step beside her. Right away, she can feel her heart rate beginning to increase.
“I’ve eaten so much, I’m surprised I’m still able to walk.” She murmurs, and Bucky laughs. 
“Yeah, I feel that. We go there every time we’re here, and every time I eat too much too. Join the club.” Y/N looks up, glancing at the stars. She used to wish on them every night, hoping someone would discover her, and that she might actually have a shot at making music, the thing she loves, her job. And now, here she is. Maybe dreams come true after all. “So.” Bucky begins, drawing her focus back to him. “Is there anywhere on this tour you’re most excited to go to?” 
“I don’t really know. In all honesty, this whole thing and getting to tour the country is still mind blowing to me. I’m happy to go anywhere.” Smiling, Bucky nods. 
“Yeah, I was the same when we first started out. You’ll still pinch yourself, even when you get as famous as us. And I have every faith you’ll get there.” Y/N gasps. It’s strange, how he’s so much more famous than her, and yet he still talks to her and treats her like he’s his equal. He really is one of the kindest people she knows. Her stomach twists in knots. And that’s going to make leaving him even more difficult. “I’m most excited to be back in New York, though. Even though I moved away, hometown shows are always the best.”
“You’re from New York too? Same!” Bucky smiles. Her eyes trace along Bucky’s jawline, illuminated by the streetlights. He looks so beautiful. She feels Bucky’s hand brushing against hers, and her heart rate increases.
If dreams do come true...she has an idea for a new one.
“Really? That’s awesome. You know, there’s a really great Italian restaurant I go to all the time whenever I’m there. Maybe we could go.” Y/N suppresses a laugh. She’d love that more than anything, but deep down, she knows he doesn’t really mean it. It’s just him trying to be nice. He’ll forget about her when all of this is over. They all will. And she can’t even blame them for it. Sighing, she nods.
“Yeah. That’d be nice.” 
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As the tour continues, Y/N’s confidence continues to grow. Each night, she becomes more and more excited to go on stage. And in turn, she becomes more confident around the band, and spends more time with them, whether it’s writing songs together, shopping with Natasha, or hanging out with Sam and Steve. Basically, her touring life is perfect…aside from one little thorn in her side.
Bucky Barnes.
It’s not that Bucky has been horrible to her, not at all. In fact, he’s been the same kind and welcoming person he’s always been. That’s the problem. He’s so kind that it’s hard to not get close to him, or to want to spend time with him. Especially since she can already feel herself falling deeper in love with him with every passing day. Each time she has to pull away, Y/N feels terrible. 
“So.” Natasha smirks one day whilst they’re out shopping. “When are you gonna put that poor boy out of his misery?” When Y/N raises a brow, Natasha rolls her eyes. “Don’t pretend like you don’t know what I mean! Bucky is so clearly whipped for you, and you’re obviously into him. I can see it all over you.” She grins. Y/N gulps. Despite how happy she is to know that Bucky might feel the same way about her, this is the last thing she wanted to happen. 
“Nothing is going to happen Nat. And you don’t even know if that’s true.” She points out. Natasha says something in reply, but Y/N doesn’t hear it. All she can think about is how big of a problem this is, and how she’s going to have to break Bucky’s heart even more. Of course, the idea of just telling him the truth and admitting her feelings has crossed her mind a few times. Yet, despite how much she wants to do that, and to stop letting her fear and Dylan ruin her new chance at happiness…she’s too afraid to admit the truth, and to drag Bucky into her mess. Or to lose him, and be heartbroken all over again. And this time, it’ll hurt even more than it did with Dylan.
As soon as they get back, Y/N enters the bus, shutting the door behind them. She climbs into her bunk. Angrily throwing the pillow across her bunk, Y/N grabs her phone. Hopefully, scrolling through social media will make her feel better. And at first, it works as posts from her fans fill her feed. She likes and comments on a few, continuing to scroll. As Y/N reads their words, a smile grows on her face. She’s so lucky to have her fans and their support. But then, another post appears. One of her ex and her ex-best friend. Immediately, her heart sinks. They’re still together, smiling like nothing happened, acting like they haven’t left a trail of destruction in their wake and ruined her life. She’s sitting here, terrified of getting too close to Bucky and the others in case she gets hurt like that again. And the people who did it to her in the first place don't even care. They never did.
Angrily, Y/N grips her blanket, grabbing her songwriting notebook and opening it.
It’s about time she lets out her emotions.
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“Is Y/N okay?” Sam asks the next morning, after they arrive in New York. “I didn’t see much of her last night, and she shut herself away as soon as we got to the venue.” Bucky furrows his brow, concern flooding his features. Y/N barely spoke to anyone, only a few words here and there. Natasha shrugs.
“She said she’s busy writing, and she doesn’t want to be disturbed. I guess we’ll find out when her new song comes out.” That makes Bucky even more concerned. He knows all about being in a deeply focused, creative headspace, and how you don’t want to speak to anyone until it’s done. But he also knows how bad it can be when you shut yourself away for so long, especially when she already looks so upset. He’ll have to check on her when he gets the chance.
Yet, the next time he sees Y/N is when she’s getting ready to go on and is in a rush. 
“Are you sure you’re alright? We were worried about you.” He asks, watching as she runs around the room, spraying hairspray and perfume everywhere. 
“Yeah, I’m good. Much better.” She insists, reapplying her lipstick in the mirror and giving herself one last check over. “Right, I gotta go. Talk soon, yeah?”
“But-” Bucky begins, cut off by Y/N placing her hand on his arm.
“Bucky, trust me. I’m okay. Bye!” And then she’s gone, leaving the scent of perfume in her wake. Despite his concern, Bucky chuckles. She sure is something. Tonight, she looks like an angel, glitter covering her lids and outfit. She looks beautiful. But she always does. This entire tour, he’s been trying to find the guts to tell her the truth about how he feels, with no luck. And the way she always turns him down or pulls away at the last second makes him think she doesn’t feel the same. Turning, Bucky follows her down towards the stage. 
Although, if she doesn’t feel the same way, he’d understand. When he gets to the side stage, Y/N is already on, in the middle of her first song. Bucky watches her as she works through her first few songs, smiling. The way she controls and interacts with the crowd is incredible, much better than he could ever do.
“Well, hello New York!” Y/N shouts into the mic, the ending of her sentence being drowned out by screams and cheers. “You guys are fucking awesome. Thank you so much!” Another round of cheering sounds, and Y/N grins, the lighting illuminating her teeth and the glitter she’s wearing. Bucky watches, smiling. “Are you guys excited for The End of The Line?” The crowd goes wild again, and Y/N laughs. “That was probably a stupid question.”
“I wanna try something new with you guys, if that’s okay.” She continues, and Bucky raises a brow. “But it means I have to tell you a story too…. Oh, I can see complete excitement on your faces, so I won’t talk too long then.” She jokes, laughing. And then, Bucky realises he’s laughing too. “So a few months ago, just before The End of The Line invited me on their tour, my boyfriend dumped me over text.” The crowd immediately starts booing, whilst Bucky raises an eyebrow. She never mentioned this. “I know! But unfortunately, it’s not just that, New York. He told me he was dumping me for one of my best friends. The same friend he was cheating on me with for the last few months of our relationship. Apparently, me playing shows was too much for him to handle, and I’d never be famous, so he had to think of his future with a girl who ‘knows what she’s doing, instead of just a bar singer’ like me.” The boos intensify, and Y/N nods, clutching a hand to her chest. “I know! At first, I let his words get to me. Look at me now, though!” The crowd cheers, and Y/N grins. “So, I put all my pain and anger into a song, and I’d like to perform it for the first time for you guys. Is that cool with you?!” The crowd goes wild, and Y/N grins, tuning her guitar. “Okay, okay! I hear you loud and clear. If you’ve ever had to deal with a shitty person in your life, I hope this song speaks to you as much as it does to me…and that you tell them to go fuck themselves.” She smirks, and Bucky laughs. “This song is called Letting You Down.” 
As the song plays, Y/N sings with more passion and fury than Bucky has ever seen. She controls the crowd masterfully, having them hanging onto every word she sings. For only just starting out, she really is a natural. Yet, her admission replays through his mind. Hearing how poorly she was treated infuriates him. Y/N’s such a talented and good-hearted person, and she doesn’t deserve that. Her ex obviously has no idea what he’s talking about. Although going through all that may explain why she’s been pulling away from him so much, and so nervous about being on tour. Y/N needs to know how talented and loved she is. And if she doesn’t, he’ll tell her every day.  
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After Y/N’s set, Bucky waits in the green room for her. When she walks in and sees Bucky sitting there, her eyes widen. “Aren’t you meant to be on stage in like five minutes?” She frowns. Bucky shakes his head.
“That’s not important right now. I need to talk to you.” Her face falls.
“You heard, didn’t you?” He hates how small and ashamed her voice sounds, like he’d be mad at her for admitting the truth. Bucky nods, stepping closer.
“I did, listen Y/N, I-”
“Buck, come on, we have to go!” Steve calls, poking his head through the door. Bucky doesn’t even care. He just wants to be with Y/N. “Buck!” Steve repeats.
“You need to go!” Y/N insists.
“But-”
“Bucky. Go. I’ll talk to you later, okay?” She promises, gently pushing him towards the door.
Throughout the entirety of their set, all Bucky can do is think of Y/N, and the things he needs to say to her. Things he’s wanted to say to her from the beginning. The second their set is finished, Bucky runs backstage. Y/N sits in the green room, anxiously fiddling with her thumbs. 
“Y/N.” He smiles, breathless. She looks up at him, her face falling. Bucky’s heart sinks. He hates seeing her so upset. “Can I sit?” She nods. “Y/N, I-”
“Look Bucky.” She sighs, finally cutting him off. “You’re incredibly sweet and all, but I just can’t commit to a relationship right now.” She sighs. “You heard the story about my heartbreak, right?” He nods. “Well, I can’t put myself through that pain again. I can’t give my all to somebody and receive nothing in return, I’m sorry.”
“Y/N, he sounds like a dick. And I promise you, not everyone is like that.” 
“It’s not just that.” She murmurs, staring down at the ground. “I know you’re a good person, Bucky. Fuck, I see it in you every day. You’re one of the sweetest guys I know, and I don’t want to think you’d ever hurt me like that. That’s why I’ve been pulling away from you, so neither of us get hurt. Yet, I hurt us both. Honestly, I think I’ve been in love with you ever since we met, and I do want to be with you. But what happens when this tour is over? When the fairytale is over, and we go back to our normal lives, whatever they are now? Sure, we’re musicians, but we come from two totally different worlds. And I don’t fit into your world.” She sighs. Bucky raises a brow, shuffling closer towards her. “Maybe Dylan’s right. Maybe I am just a bar singer.” Bucky gets up from his seat, kneeling in front of her. He takes her hands in his, rubbing his thumbs along her knuckles.
“Y/N. You are one of the most beautiful and talented people I’ve ever met. We could only dream of being able to control and entertain a crowd like you can. Especially tonight!” He insists. “And besides, there’s nothing wrong with being a bar singer, especially when they’re as good as you. Your ex has no idea what the fuck he’s talking about.” As she gazes into Bucky’s eyes, Y/N feels tears building in her own. 
“I want to be with you more than anything. I just can’t. I can’t risk being hurt again.” She whispers. Bucky feels his heart breaking, but he knows he can’t force her to do anything. And so, he nods.
Suddenly, the door opens, and Natasha pops her head in. At first, Bucky expects her to say something about how they’re going out for dinner or something. Yet, as soon as she sees the serious look on Natasha’s face, Y/N frowns. “Nat? What’s going on?”
“Y/N, there’s someone here to see you. He insists he knows you, and even tried to bribe our door staff to let him into the venue. Says he won’t go until you hear him out.” Immediately, Bucky tenses from beside her, and Y/N’s stomach drops. 
“Did he leave a name?” But she knows who it is before Natasha even confirms it.
“It’s Dylan.” Her entire body goes stiff. It feels like someone dumped a whole bucket of ice cold water all over her, plunging her into a horrible nightmare. 
“Wait, Dylan as in ‘Letting You Down’ Dylan? Your ex who treated you like shit?” Bucky asks, and Y/N nods, still numb. “Where is he?”
“He’s in the dressing room. The guys just shoved him in there.” 
“Oh, fuck.” Y/N hisses, already beginning to feel herself hyperventilate. 
“Y/N, we can tell him to go.” Bucky offers. To his surprise, Y/N shakes her head.
“No. I need to do this. I need to tell him myself.” She gulps. Bucky can tell she’s absolutely terrified. “I might need some moral support, though.” She admits, her eyes glancing down at the floor. Bucky finds her hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.
“Of course.” He whispers.
When Y/N and the rest of the band enter the room, Dylan turns around. As soon as he sees Y/N, he grins. Immediately, Bucky hates him. His grin looks smug, and the way he looks at Y/N makes him feel sick. If he could, he’d punch that asshole right in his smug fucking face.
“What the hell are you doing here?” She gasps.
“Wow, I just didn’t realise you were serious about this whole thing!” Dylan muses, looking around the room. “When I saw you online and on TV, I knew I had to come see you…and talk about what happened. Tell you what, why don’t we go get some drinks or some dinner, and we can just…talk it out?” Dylan whispers, reaching out to stroke her arm. The same way he used to when he was trying to get back on her good side, hoping she’d ignore all the cruel things he’d say about her and her career. Reflexively, Y/N steps back, away from him.
“Oh, so you only care about her once she’s getting more attention?” Bucky demands, earning a sharp jab in the ribs from Natasha.
“Bucky.” she hisses.
“What? He doesn’t give a shit about her or her career at first, but when he sees how popular she is and how he’s probably being blasted all over social media for rightfully being called out, he suddenly cares?” Dylan scoffs, rolling his eyes. 
“Buddy, this doesn’t concern you.” Y/N’s heart sinks. Bucky’s right. Dylan doesn’t care about her at all. He’s only here to save his ass.
“Actually, it concerns all of us, buddy. We’re her friends, and we actually give a shit about her, unlike you.” Bucky snaps back.
“Can we have some alone time now?” Dylan asks, his eyes narrowing as he looks at Bucky. For a moment, Y/N almost says yes, wanting to just get rid of him as soon as possible with no further trouble. That is, however, until she glances back, ready to tell the band to do as he asks. The entire band looks pissed off, but Bucky is seething. He stands with his arms folded as he glares at Dylan. They’re the ones who care about her and her career. Not Dylan. And then, Y/N realises what she has to do. 
“No. They stay.” She states. Dylan’s brows furrow. 
“But Y/N, sweetie-”
“Don’t call me that. You lost the right to call me that a long time ago. And you have no right to come here unannounced and start making demands, especially after what you did. I want them here, so they’re staying.” She folds her arms. “Now. What do you want?” When he sees he isn’t getting his way, Dylan splutters.
“I just don’t see why you had to make such a big deal out of it, that’s all! And besides, I was just thinking about calling you before I heard the song, anyway. It would be nice to talk again.”
“Oh, you were, were you? Well, you sure have impeccable timing, don’t you? And besides, I know that’s a lie because as far as I know, you were with your girlfriend last night. Have you told her you want to start talking to me again?” 
“Y/N, come on, don’t be like that. I’m trying to apologise. You always were so dramatic. It’s obvious I didn’t mean everything I said.”
“And yet ‘sorry’ isn’t the first word that came out of your mouth.” She hears sniggering in the background, which only spurs her on further. “And it’s not being dramatic. It’s called standing up for yourself and realising that you’ve treated me like shit for as long as I can remember, and I’m tired of it. If you think I’m coming back to you so you can do it again, you’re dumber than I thought you were. So, you can take your apology and shove it up your ass.” Dylan’s eyes widen, and he splutters again. In a way, it’s funny seeing the man who treated her like shit be unable to handle her sticking up for herself. “Now, go.”
“I’d advise you listen to her and fuck off before we call security. Trust us, you don’t want that.” Sam warns. Dylan tries to argue back, but when he sees he isn’t getting anywhere, he groans, beginning to leave.
“Bitch.” He murmurs as he walks by. Bucky, Sam and Steve follow him out, making sure he leaves while Natasha stays with Y/N. 
“That was incredible! You really gave that asshole what he deserved.” She grins. Y/N doesn’t feel incredible though. In fact, she feels like shit. After being on such a high from the concert and finally letting her emotions out in song, suddenly being confronted with Dylan and being reminded of just how little he cares about her is breaking her all over again. Her bottom lip trembles and her vision blurs. Shit.
“I’m sorry Nat, I-I have to go. I’ll be on the bus if you need me. I just. I need to be alone.” She stammers, her words coming out in a rush. She doesn’t even give Natasha time to reply before she hurriedly leaves the venue and climbs back onto the bus, crawling into her bunk and huddling into the corner. As soon as she knows it’s safe, her tears are unleashed, and she shakes as tears stream down her cheeks. She wraps her blanket around her, hoping it hides her from the world.
Y/N lays there for what feels like hours until the door to the bus opens again. “Who is it?” She calls, her voice croaky. 
“It’s just me.” Bucky replies. As soon as she hears his voice, it feels like a weight has been lifted off of Y/N’s shoulders, and she lets out a breath of relief. “I know you said you want to be alone, but we just want to make sure that you’re okay.” She turns around, looking into the pair of blue eyes she knows so well. The pair belonging to the man she loves. When he sees her tear-stained face, Bucky sighs. “Oh, Y/N.” She holds out her arms, and without another word, Bucky climbs in beside her, wrapping his tattooed arms around her still shaking form. 
He lets her cry into his chest for as long as she needs, rubbing her back and whispering comforting words into her ear. “It’s okay. He’s gone. We got rid of him.”
“I’m sorry.” She hiccups. Bucky looks down at her, frowning.
“Y/N, you have nothing to be sorry for.” Yet, she sniffles, nodding.
“I do. I care about you so much. You’re so kind to me, and I’d love to be with you. In all honesty, it’s all I’ve ever wanted. But I ruined everything between us because of him.”
“You haven’t ruined anything, sweetheart.” Bucky soothes. “You’ve been through a lot, and nobody would judge you for being wary about dating again.” He kisses her head, his stubble lightly grazing her skin. Y/N feels that same flutter in her stomach again, this time amplified. He finds her hand again, intertwining his calloused fingers with hers once more. He brings her hand to his lips, kissing it softly. “It’s going to be big and scary, but we can take things as slow as you want. All I want is for you to be happy and comfortable.” And as she looks back up at him, Y/N realises that he’s right. Maybe she shouldn’t be scared, and actually let herself be happy again, with someone like Bucky.
“Okay.” She nods. Bucky smiles, softly kissing her on the lips. 
“How about I take you out tomorrow? Properly.”
“Where do you wanna go?” Bucky smiles, chuckling slightly.
“Well, we’re in New York, aren’t we? Like I said…I know a restaurant.”
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fishermanshook · 1 year ago
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patched up (novelist x gn!reader)
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howlpendragons on Pinterest
content warnings: mentions of blood and scars, possible spelling and grammar errors, second person POV, use of y/n like twice
The manor games are brutal, but even brutal is an understatement at how horrible they can really be. Consisting of blood, sweat and tears, all you can do is run. But running is tiring, especially when you know that no matter how many games you escape, you’ll be stuck here in this hell hole forever. 
And during these death games, getting hurt is almost always guaranteed. And if you don’t have the Doctor in your match to speed the (healing) process up, Survivors must take it upon themselves to heal them and their teammates. 
You're not too sure when your fingers started going numb during decoding, but with only 1 cipher being left undecoded, you’ve got to keep up the pace. 
Just minutes ago a loud announcement roared through the air, scaring the crows and other unearthly creatures that inhabited this manor away from where they were originally perched. The announcement let everyone know (who was in the game) that the Patient had been chaired and sent back to the manor. But you didn’t need the announcement to know that, as his screams rippled through the air only seconds before his inevitable doom. 
Now the Enchantress has been left with keeping the hunter occupied, and thanks to her pinning her location through a special piece of technology, you know to stay clear of that area. 
You let your fellow teammates know the area you're decoding in, the cipher being at least 50% completed. You're lost in concentration before a certain voice comes from behind you. 
“Hey,,y/n?”
Your head immediately jerks up, almost missing a calibration in the process. 
“Holy, oh my gosh Orpheus you scared me- oh.”
You look at Orpheus who’s slightly hunched back and has a small smile on his face. His pristine white trench coat looks like it's been relentlessly torn and ripped apart, smeared with dirt and what looks to be blood. Following the crimson trail, you spot that he’s cradling his left arm closely near his chest where his whole hand has been painted red. 
“Mind patching me up really quickly?”
How can you refuse? He’s your teammate after all and you can’t leave him standing there in a pile of his own blood.
“Always.”
— 
You and Orpheus sit closely near each other, with Orpheus sitting up with his legs out and your sitting criss crossed. You’ve produced your small medical bag that the manor has provided you with. It always gets restocked before every game by some unknown source, but that doesn’t really matter right now. All that matters is getting Orpheus patched up quickly so you two can finish decoding the last cipher and get out of here. 
You whip out the white medical gauze inside of the red bag and hastily get to work. Orpheus has stripped off his coat so you can get to the main source. You don’t have time to wash off any of the blood or even give him something to hold on to, but you make due with what you're given. 
Before wrapping the gauze of him, you take a rag from the kit and gently but rapidly wipe some of the blood from his arm. You hear him suck in a quick breath, but all you can mutter is something along the lines of “‘m sorry” before quickly wrapping up the gauze. 
Unfortunately, due to some previous trauma, the process takes a few minutes. With your shaking hands and Orpheus’ winces, it brings back some unpleasant memories. 
You may have accidentally tightened the gauze a little too harsh, because it sends Orpheus throwing his head back and grabbing onto your thigh. 
“Ah, shit, I’m sorry y/n.”
You're taking back a bit, looking the other way to avoid contact, pretending to get something else from your bag. 
“Don’t worry about it, just try your best to sit still, okay? If it’s really that bad then you can squeeze my thigh, k?” You say with a small smile.
Orpheus’ eyes widened a bit, but not before shaking his head and staring forward into the abyss. 
You get back to applying the gauze onto his arm, but it’s a little hard when you can’t forget how warm his hand feels gripping onto your thigh. 
The rush of adrenaline you get when the final cipher pops is insanely overwhelming, but you’ve learned to just embrace it and take off as far as your legs will grant you. Using that adrenaline, you find yourself rushing to type in the code to the exit gate, then the anxiety gets the best of you. 
“You're not going to be able to type it if your hands keep shaking like that,” Orpheus says, taking your hand and removing it gently from the keypad “let me please.” 
As you stand there with your wobbly legs, Orpheus wonders if you’ve ever noticed how he doesn’t necessarily treat you the same as he treats the others. He’s so much more kind to you then the others, not that he’s necessarily rude or mean to the other inhabitants of the manor though. It’s just that you’ve caught his attention and now he can’t take his mind off of you. 
He wonders if he told you, would you feel the same?
But something pulls him out of his thoughts, as a blood curdling scream comes from the distance. Orpheus and you both look behind yourselves and are met with a bloody and messy Patricia. 
Her clothes have been tattered and abused, her sparkly purple outfit has been ripped to shreds as wounds decorate her body, spilling cardinal red blood. Red blood that perfectly matches the way the Sculpture eyes light up when she meets your gaze. 
Orpheus is quick to put in the code as the Enchantress shouts to go for the tie. He quickly grabs your hand, forcing himself to ignore the way you scream Patricia's name. He pulls you and him through the gate before you can get hit by a sculpture. 
When you two make your way through the gate, he’s still holding your hand as he asks you if you're alright. Are you hurt? Are you in pain? You shake your head side to side but can’t help the tears that silently fall from your eyes and cup your cheeks, almost in a loving way. 
Orpheus doesn’t want to see you cry, and so, acting on impulse, he pulls you in for a hug. Softly shushing you as he combs his fingers through your hair. The two of you sit in silence as you wait for the old and battered carriage to take you back like it always does. 
The carriage is dimly lit by a small lantern hanging from the ceiling of the moving vehicle, and he can’t make out the person in the front, but he isn’t really too worried about that right now. 
He’s just thankful you can’t see the blush that’s crept up the back of his neck and spread itself across his face. 
Your head lays loosely on his shoulder, his head on top of your as he rubs his thumb in circles on your palm. Your tears have dried and stained your cheeks, but you're too exhausted to wipe them away. Orpheus isn’t sure what made you start crying, especially when he knows this isn’t your first match. Was it due to exhaustion? The wearing of adrenaline? Or did everything that had just happened catch you off guard? Multiple questions plagued his mind, but the Novelist knew better than to bombard you with his onslaught of wonders, so he just sat with you. You and your tattered body, covered in scars from previous matches. 
To hell with those Hunters, if they ever die. 
— End
note: i say kinda b/c i feel like this isn't really a fic but it'll happen to do,,, this fic sucks i’m sorry you guys
(2023)©️fishermanshook — do not steal, translate, or repost my work on any other platform
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kibbits · 1 year ago
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Time to share some Starry lore because I’ve got a cute scene in mind. I love to vocal stim, sounds, phrases, but particularly songs. I’ll hear a song that feels just right and I’ll sit and chew it for hours til my throat’s sore. Currently favorite is The Valentine in Starfield (Is it still a sea shanty if it’s in space?). The reason I bring this fun fact up is because I can just see myself sitting for hours stimming with boys over new songs. Especially if it’s any new pieces for the theater. While the scripts and lyrics are predesigned by Fazbear, there’s something unquestionably their’s in performance that make it worth repeating. Worth remembering. Humming through daily tasks. Parroting their tone, their voice. Another sign of their existence that’s more then the capacity to destroy, then just simple property… They do end up being slightly upset when the Glamrocks try to introduce their songs to stimming sessions. (Sun/Moon: “That’s my human bonding time :(“ Monty: “Get cooler song selections then Sock and Buskin.” Freddy: “Pls do not misuse google search privileges to make insults.”)
- ✨Starry✨
Starry, hi!!! <33
!!!! HELL yes I echo songs a lot too!!!!
Unfortunately often 1-3 lines on repeat fgklgjkldfjg currently it's Villainous Thing, but I keep mixing "Let me see those smoky eyes" and "Let's remove those pretty clothes" and I end up singing "Oh dear, let's remove those smoky eyes" which. not the same fgkldjl
STARRY?! HELLO?! YOU REALLY GOT ME TEARING UP OVER THAT DESCRIPTION AAAA?!?! Also ABSOLUTELY -- for both the stimming, and making the songs their own.
God I'm imagining it so hard.
Eyndr suggested I draw a 'Y/N repairing the coat' last magma, and I haven't posted it cause I never got done, but yknow what? You get a WIP sketch fgkldgj Imagine they're singing
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(Goose by Eyndr! Sun is stimming with a ribbon, like I do, except that I like to wrap it around the pads of my fingers, but he doesn't have those, so he has the bad habit of letting it run between his finger casings. Also I wanted a domestic vibe for this and also thought it'd be hilarious to have 'fanservice' with Sun being shirtless. Also, a more masculine Y/N! First beard I've drawn I think???)
One of the three absentmindedly starts a song and the others join in almost immediately. Unless it's a headache day, the backstage is never silent between those three, there's always a bit of humming or singing or even just echolalia.
Which. Mood. I always immediately and absentmindedly want to join in on sounds or singing in vc -- which. being in vc at all, and talking?? is a new development for me fgjdgkl but my god it's nice to be vibing and singing with a friend while doodling -- shout out to my bestie @eyndr ! I love hanging out for games or project days so much aa One day discord and spotify won't make us sing rounds/canons fghdj
ALSO HELLO YES SPACE SHANTIES?!?!!? TWO OF MY FAVORITE THINGS LET'S GO I'M LEAVING RN TO GO LISTEN BRB
Ough that's nice!!! I loved it! ; w ; Ehehe, I tend to have work songs/sea shanties days where that's all I listen to, so I getcha and good choice! > :3 Haven't played that game, but I do play No Man's Sky and I wish there was random space shanty singers to find waugh!
Also now I'm totally imagining a Faz Space Opera yeeesss 👀👀👀
Back to BaL! Sometimes, for fun, all 3 purposefully mess with the cadence or pitch, either to make each other laugh or just to get creative or because it sounds nice, and they end up liking something and it's like "!!!!"
When they sing that version later, it feels like theirs -- like it's those moments spent together. Proof of their existence and how it affects the world around them positively. Reminders that they're loved, and they love (in a cosmic kind of way, but also it's a self insert so fuck it we BaLl (aaaay finally used the joke @lavenoon fgjdfklgjld).
Also yeee I can see them being really, ACTUALLY insulted when one of the animatronics, who doesn't know because those little sing-stimming sessions are private with Y/N, jokes about how those songs are lame and they should be singing some of theirs instead because they're catchier. Oof
Which, just now, made me realize that BaL Sun's anger runs cold, so he just goes totally silent, straightens up and get that intense stare. Maybe Moon's even the one who talks through the speaker to deflect and does that overly-sweet anger of like "Catchy, huh? Hopefully we don't catch those inflated egos of yours -- there's barely enough space for all of us and your big heads as it is! We'll come back later~!" to excuse themselves (and then prank them to hell and back of course! But there's no proof : )) ) (ALSO OH MY GOD SOCK AND BUSKIN THAT'S FUCKING GOLD. THAT'S SO CANON NOW AND THE BOYS THINK IT'S HILARIOUS)
Back to the singing, I think that another thing that they do especially well is that they can sing at the same time, so even for solos they can add back vocals to each other, or play around with the pitch since they do-and-don't share a processor and can adapt in microseconds -- wait actually they can definitely sing rounds, too!!
Oh my god now I'm imagining them singing rounds with vastly different moods at the same time, perfectly calibrated so that both of them come out loud and clear and also enhance each other's -- lining up or losing one of their voices at just the right moment to be chilling. It's like you're getting the song and the reprise but both at once
Thanks for the ask Starry!!! Always excited to see you in my inbox <33 And I'm going to be rotating this in my mind for a WHILE fkljdgjkld
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cal-a-bungaa · 2 years ago
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The Realm
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The Realm Part Two - Prince!Jake kiszka
Synopsis: Last goodbyes bring the start of a long war
Word count: 1.8k
Warnings: Mentions of blood, death, and violence. Shorter than part 1. Angsty and tense
Enjoy!
__________
The hours of the night seemed to drag on as he sat at his brother's side, waiting for death to arrive. By the time the sun peaked its light over the rolling hills in the distance, Josh was still well and breathing; shallowly, but breathing. Crimson had stopped its flow of painting his clothing and the stone floors with the help of guards and medical aid that he demanded. He had felt guilty for this happening. The young king's hand laid lifeless within his own, pressed against his forehead as he choked back the tears and anger that boiled within him. If only he hadn’t spent his time obsessing over some princess, he would have been able to protect his brother from harm's way. But that princess wasn’t just some princess; she was his heart. 
Candles stayed lit throughout the hall, wax dripping down their figures. Guards stood alert at every nook and cranny within the room, waiting to see if the assailant dared to make his return. There was once in the night, a shrill voice called out to him from outside of the grand doors, but never again after that. Josh was a clear sign that their love wouldn’t last. His brother was his life, his other half in so many other ways that she was not. They came into the world together so they would then exit in a joint matter and for someone to try and take that away from him was the highest form of betrayal in his eyes. 
It was not ideal to stay in the palace that homed those who tried to assassinate his brother, but Jake felt torn. He wanted to know Josh would be stable to transport back to Strainad before doing anything that could worsen his condition. He was lucky to still be alive after being pierced by a traitor's sword. If he didn’t know better, he’d exit this very room and go to take revenge on Weria himself, but his life would then be taken as well. Jake wanted nothing more than to see their enemies grovel at their feet, begging for him to spare their lives after conspiring against his King. 
Staying in his place next to Josh, Jake would occasionally hold his finger beneath his nose to feel his hot breath be released. He will continue to reign, Jake has been telling himself that through the roughest of nights. Even as his twin fought for his life on the cool marble tiles, he found himself thinking of the princess he swore treason upon. 
Too lost in his conflicted thoughts, he almost missed that Josh had woken and spoke hoarsely to him. “You’re squeezing hard, brother.” 
Without realizing, Jake had been holding his brother's hand a little too tightly for comfort. White spots had appeared on Josh’s pale skin in the shapes of Jake’s fingertips. With a hushed apology, he releases his other halfs appendage. 
“You called for treason,” With the help of the aid that’s been with Josh all night, he raises to a sitting position. “It will mean fighting. You’ve made us enemies.”
“Those traitors tried to kill you.”
Josh lets out a breathy chuckle, “I am aware. I just wonder if you are prepared to fight against her.”
Jake is exasperated with his brother. “How can you laugh at this?” He asks, avoiding the question.
“I am a king, Jake, it was bound to happen especially on land that does not welcome my presence.” 
The prince says nothing more, shaking his head in frustration with his brother's lack of concern for the situation. His life is on the line and he could care less. It fuels his fury that he knew this was a possibility and was still accepting of his proposal to the opposing side. 
Josh struggles to stand, his legs threatening to give out from beneath him. Jake reaches to help him, but gets shoved away. He’d always been like that, wanting to do things for himself even in his worst states where it is nearly impossible. Even as he grapples to hold himself up straight, tension in the room dials down as it becomes clear that their king is not one to give up so easily. Jake rises to his feet as well, ready for what comes next. With shaky hands, Josh signals the guards spread across the room to prepare for departure. 
He scans the room, watching as they all take their positions to circle around the king in front of the grand doors. “Are you sure you are well enough to travel?” Jake asks. 
Another chuckle comes from the young king, “I am alive, that is well enough.”
There was no fighting it, what Josh wants he will get. Stepping behind the armored men, Jake prepares himself as the golden doors are pushed open and the halls of Weria’s castle are revealed. The cold air had the hairs on Jake's arms raising. The lighting of the halls were brighter than the flames in the great hall, having been relit not too long ago. Servants to the royal family have stopped in their tracks to watch them all take their leave, marching to the outside world. All of them were shocked to see Strainad’s king still standing, seemingly as healthy as ever. 
Footsteps echoed through the cool halls from behind Jake. In response to a potential enemy coming to finish the job, Jake spins, unsheathing his sword and pointing it in the direction of the sound. Upon focusing his vision, it was not just some assailant fast approaching, it was her. The needle point end of his blade barely grazed her sternum, catching on the stone blue material of her dress. Her hair done to perfection per usual, the finest of jewels decorating any skin that may have been bare while holding a pleading stare in her glass eyes. 
The two hold one another's gaze for as long as possible. Josh had stopped his journey to the carriage along with the guards to watch the scene unfold. Tearing her eyes away from the man whom she loved, she looked over his shoulder to catch the young king staring at her as well. Jake takes notice and steps back into her field of vision, not allowing her to see his brother any longer than she already had, keeping his weapon pointed at her. He watches how her eyes flicker down to the piece of metal that threatened her life if she dared to move. 
“Jacob…” She whispers to him. Her voice reminded him of a siren, calling to him, luring him in. 
“I have nothing to say to you.”
The sharpness of his tone has her cowering in only a way he’d notice.
“Jake, please.”
“You betrayed me. I will not listen to the lies you wish to tell.” He snarls towards her. 
Both fall back into a silence. Even as he holds anger and hatred for what occurred, he wants to drop his sword to the ground and take her in his arms. He can’t help himself as he lets himself scan her. The necklace she wore did little to hide the bruises that he inflicted upon her in a fit of rage mere hours ago. He saw the bags under her eyes that matched his own and the way her nails had been bitten down to the point that her fingertips glowed bright red in irritation. 
Knowing he could stab her as someone did his brother, she takes a step towards him. Jake’s grip tightens on the silver handle. He does not wish to have her blood dripping from his weapon, but if that’s what must be done then so be it. If she wishes to impale herself on his blade then she shall. Her small hands reach up to clasp the blade, pushing it further into her, creating a small hole in the rich fabric of the garment she wore. 
He watches the way she winces as his weapon slices her hand, tiny droplets of blood now smeared on the pristine metal. “If you wanted to harm me, you would have already done so.”
“Maybe I want to watch you suffer.” He doesn’t, he never will.
Her grip tightens ever so slightly, spilling more crimson from her palm. Droplets have dripped to the floor, staining the seams of her gown and tips of her shoes. 
“That just means you’d have to come back for me.” He wants to go to her now as they stand a foot apart. 
“To kill you.” To love her. 
“You will kill hundreds of men before ever thinking of killing me.” 
Her hands release the blade, both of her palms stained with the color of the roses in the garden they used to stroll through together. Jake takes this as a time to place his sword back into its holder on his hip. His hands shook as she took another few steps towards him. She reaches up to cup his cheeks, tainting his tanned skin with her blood. 
Leaning in, she readies herself for their lips to connect. Jake pauses before that can happen, letting their breaths mingle. Their eyes bore into one another, pressuring the other to make a move. Jake has no intention of moving, but she will not move either, wanting him to show her that there is still love for her in his darkened heart. 
Jake pushes a strand of hair behind her ear, leaning in further. He lets their lips brush, but nothing more before he speaks, “You wanted a battle.”
He can see the slight shake of her head as she denies his accusation in a breath.
“Then I will give you a war, my dearest.”
Disconnecting himself from her, Jake turns his back to nod at Josh and they resume their walk to escape the palace. He can hear the echo of her shouts of his name and sobs as he exits through the main doors, breathing in the fresh air. Her handmaidens tried to keep a hold on her so they could clean her wounds, but mostly so she wouldn’t go chasing after the prince. To no luck they were not able to contain her. 
Approaching the carriage that held Josh, Jake holds onto the edge of the door, hesitating. He looks to Josh who simply nods at him before he turns his head to look back. It might have been a mistake to do so, but this was going to be the last time he’d see you before he submerged himself into battle. 
You fell to your knees, watching him turn to look back at you. Your blood had been smeared all over the once stainless dress. You cried out for him, tears rolling down your flushed cheeks. Jake wanted to go to you. He wanted you to know that he did in fact still love you. But even if he did approach you once more, it would pain him too much to leave. With pursed lips, Jake enters the carriage, looking down at his hands. 
And as the horses take off and the carriage gets pulled along, war has begun.
__________
Taglist: @whitesuitjake​ @kerryxgvf​ @gardensgatedaisy​ @shesawomaninadream @allieisacrybaby​ @writingcold​ @hayley1623​
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tristayranambrosio · 9 months ago
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Notorious/Altruistic Day 5 - February 22 DWC
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(Keeping it going as I desperately try to keep up with @daily writing challenge seems I'm gonna be a day behind though) “You’re scowling again.” Nestor sings at me playfully. I growl at the middle aged Elf dressed in the finery of a noble with an affinity for hues bright enough to make one’s eyes hurt. He was a riot of violet and sunset with waist long hair that was cuffed and beaded in artful chaos with a whole ear cuff and what he thought was a -scandalous- eyebrow hoop that he had clearly gotten when rebelling against his ‘upper city’ parents in his long ago youth. The Director of the Crimson Curtain Nestor, having forsaken a surname but kept the fortune to ‘slum’ with the true life blood of the city. He was graying at the temples and I think after too many years being someone he wasn’t Nestor the Notorious Cabaret Lord of The Crimson was now unabashedly who he was. I almost hate him for that freedom, the way he could be himself without a care for what the world saw, love as he loved… His Partner the Tauren Florist cast the Aging elf a warning glance for tripping my fuse while I was behind the bar given my tendency to break bottles when I gripped them too hard. I had taken a part time gig that I didn’t need to stop my clan from asking inconvenient questions, they wouldn’t accept that I just wanted to play in our band, that I felt at home somewhere at last… With Estibahn the cockiest Goblin bastard bassist… And my beautiful Rose.  I grunt and turn my back because I am scowling… because my Rose… who I remind myself is -not- mine is crooning a love song to one of the women in the crowd. Nestor turns to what I’m -decidedly- not looking at as I wipe down the bar, “Our little star, It’s beautiful don’t you think Jezz? How the boy is so altruistic with his romance… his affections. That he still makes them all feel so desired, wanted but never crosses lines. Its a delicate little dance.” “Isn’t that his -job-” I toss over my shoulder and I hate myself for it, my jealous stupid self pretending that I’m not wishing I was that bitch in the audience, with his hand cupping my chin singing into my lips while dressed in glittering costumes and jewels of teal, contrasting his perfect form against the overwhelming hues of sunset. “Oh come on now Jezzy!” Nestor swats my arm and I whirl to look at where this elf had the nerve to -touch- me like it’s some sour fruit stuck to me even long after the playful swat had gone, “He’s not employed as a Gigolo though gods above I’m certain we’d make a fortune if he was. No this is charity. And it almost brings a tear to the eye.” “Charity?” I scoff gripping tight to my bitterness as my turn forced me to see Trist lean to slip from the stage to straddle that woman’s chair with her in it, still singing like a siren as she gazes up at him with naked desire. Ancestors help me… He’s so different when they look at him like that… unashamed of their appreciation. I make myself finish hating myself… hating that I lash out and say the words I want to turn inward about the person who makes me feel alive, “You mean telling them pretty lies, being some fantasy for tips… its all a smoke show like everything here.”
Then Nestor’s words turned dark, hard, and cold, “But if you hurt him, Jezza. If you break my boy, You will always regret it. So stop -growling- and tell him how you feel before you let him slip away. Especially with Archstone -skulking- around again.” The horror in my face and form has me locked in place, did this- did he know what that would mean!? He knows?! How!? Nestor hopped off his stool and reopened his fan with a thwap and purred to his mate, “Now lets go get a closer look, shall me my beautiful bull?” I watch them in abject awe and Palehoof dips an understanding nod my way, hand always lightly brushing Nestor’s lower back with the gentlest hands I’d ever seen. I’m too stunned to rage… how did they know?! I- Have fallen in way too deep.
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