#the jurys can go suck on stones in hell

[banemmanan]

*Finland getting 12 points from a jury vote*

CROWD GOES WILD!!!

*hosts re-capping the top 3 so far*

"And Sweden are in the lead!"

Crowd" *polite woo*

[queerdraws]

Cleaning Out the Rooms - a Harry Du Bois playlist Alcoholism, getting better?, memory loss, being a superstar, The Final Dream, forming political opinions, bad breakups, past transgressions, being a strange and inconsistent being, and persisting despite it all 26 songs (r-slur warning for Turnin’ on the Screw - QotSA)

including: David Bazan, They Might be Giants, The Mountain Goats, British Sea Power (of course), Queens of the Stone Age, and more.  Full track listing and lyric excerpts under the cut

---- Turnin' on the Screw - Queens of the Stone Age (This is the opening track on Era Vulgaris, seemed like an appropriate opening song / introduction to Harry's general essence) ----

... They say those who can't just instruct others And act like victims or jilted lovers You can't lose it if you never had it Disappear, man, do some magic

Want a reason? How's about because You ain't a has been if you never was

I sound like this

Scared to say what is your passion So slag it all, bitter's in fashion Fear of failure's all you've started The jury is in, verdict: r******d

I'm so tired, and I'm wired too I'm a mess; I guess I'm turning on the screw

---- Bless this Mess - David Bazan (Harry being a drunk and a general mess, things going in cycles) ----

God bless the man who stumbles God bless the man who falls God bless the man who yields to temptation God bless the woman who suffers God bless the woman who weeps God bless the children trying her patience Trouble getting over it Is what you're in for So pour yourself another 'Cause it'll take a steady pair of hands Holy or unholy ghost Well now I can't tell, but either way you cut it You should get some distance if you plan to take a stand God bless the house divided God bless the weeds in the wheat God bless the lamp hid under a bushel I discovered hell to be the poison in the well So I tried to warn the others of the curse But then my body turned on me I dreamt that for eternity My family would burn Then I awoke with a wicked thirst

---- Don’t Sit Down Cause I’ve Moved Your Chair - Arctic Monkeys (general Harry vibe.  off-kilter) ----

Break a mirror, roll the dice

...

Find a well-known hard man and start a fight Wear your shell suit on bonfire night Fill in a circular hole with a peg that's square

But just don't sit down 'cause I've moved your chair

...

Bite the lightning and tell me how it tastes Kung fu fighting on your roller skates Do the Macarena in the devil's lair

But just don't sit down 'cause I've moved your chair

---- I've Been Seeing Things - They Might be Giants (feels very Harry's detecting style, surreal happenstance) ----

I've been seeing things I've been seeing things Don't have answers but I've got lots of questions

Carpool's up, someone gets out Hand someone else a violin case I'm trying not to let them see me looking at them But I'm pretty sure there was a dollar sign

Keep your eyes peeled and you'll see stuff Which at first seems like unimportant irrelevant things

Can't just ask some perfect stranger "What are you hiding in your violin case?" Shadow them at a distance instead Try to get inside their head

Where'd they go now (Where'd they go now) I got distracted (I got distracted) Begging me to stay (Begging me to stay) Wearing a disguise (Wearing a disguise) That lady (That lady) Must have ditched the kid (Must have ditched the kid) Hidge the down (Hidge the down) [???] What's she up to now? (What's she up to now?) Trembling cold by the airport road Watching them stack containers in rows Seagulls, helicopter, windblown trash Something doesn't add up

I've been seeing things I've been seeing things No one asks but I'm packing all kinds of attention

Later I'm watching a news report Camera pans across a crime scene Unremarked upon detail Empty violin case Okay maybe not the same case Different material, different color Still you have to wonder Am I the only one who knows

I've been seeing things

---- Music is the Victim - Scissor Sisters (breakup Harry.  drug-addled disco Harry) ----

I left my heart in San Fransisco It's at some motherfucking disco The people there where dancin' on it And that's including Ms. Matronic

Hell if music is the victim then so am I Of lovin' and a cheatin' the snake gon' bite I beg and I scream and I cuss and I cry If music is the victim then so am I

Of your bad fun Money's all gone but you need some Lover's on the phone but they got none Daddy ain't home from the dog run And you're riding through the city with a shotgun

I left my bag in Pasadena Where all them girls was doin' Tina Them bitches sure were crunked up on it I said I'd rather smoke some chronic

Hell if music is the victim then so am I Of lovin' and a cheatin' the snake gon' bite I beg and I scream and I cuss and I cry If music is the victim then so am I

---- Down to Your Soul - Right Away, Great Captain! (about the Final Dream and pre-game Harry) ----

And I see things I actually don't see. I knew it wasn't actually you a few feet from my reach. I looked into your eyes and I began to lose my teeth, And I felt you were dreaming the same thing.

And I know you don't know what I'm capable of But if you give me just one more minute I'm sure That you would be shaking right down to your soul And I'd hope that the fear of the lord brings me home. I'm a man in a body of water so tall Could swallow you whole and forget where he's going But I carved a map in the back of my arm Don't worry I'm coming home I said don't worry cause I'm coming home

---- No Surprises - Radiohead (suicidal harry, pre-game.  Maybe immediately before the game.  A little Big Communism Builder) ----

A heart that's full up like a landfill A job that slowly kills you Bruises that won't heal You look so tired, unhappy Bring down the government They don't, they don't speak for us I'll take a quiet life A handshake of carbon monoxide

And no alarms and no surprises

…

This is my final fit My final bellyache

…

No alarms and no surprises, please (get me out of here)

---- Cleaning Out the Rooms - British Sea Power (The instrumental part seems to have been used / referenced for a background music track.  And also the name of that one thought project. as expected, it fits beautifully.  Wake up in a new life, down by the seaside.  Cleaning out the rooms.  She’ll be coming soon.) ----

Where life is good in a way Swept away upon our hearts, in cold coal ceremonial On a rainy day, hang it up Get the vacuum and suck it in Cleaning out the rooms, I'll clean it up Dark cloud, drifting out of view I'll never know, she'll be coming soon, that is all I'll wake up in a new life, ship shape and shoe shine Cleaning out the rooms, I'll clean it up She'll be coming soon Drifting into view, way in the west, white cloud If everybody knew, I never knew, she'll be coming soon I'll wake up in a new life, down by the seaside In a new life, down by the seaside Cleaning out the room, I'll clean it up Dark clouds, she'll be coming soon Down the chimney, out the window, that is all

---- In the Morning of the Magicians - The Flaming Lips (waking up with no memory, but bad vibes) ----

In the morning I awake

And I couldn't remember What is love and what is hate

The calculations error

Oh, what is love and what is hate? And why does it matter? Is to love just a waste? And how can it matter?

Oh...

As the dawn began to break I had to surrender The universe will have its way Too powerful to master

---- Once in a Lifetime - Talking Heads (Huh??  What's happening??  same as it ever was, same as it ever was) ----

And you may ask yourself, "How do I work this?" And you may ask yourself, "Where is that large automobile?" And you may tell yourself, "This is not my beautiful house" And you may tell yourself, "This is not my beautiful wife"

...

Same as it ever was, same as it ever was Same as it ever was, same as it ever was

...

And you may ask yourself, "What is that beautiful house?" And you may ask yourself, "Where does that highway go to?" And you may ask yourself, "Am I right? Am I wrong?" And you may say to yourself, "My God! What have I done?"

---- Don't Change - David Bazan (alcoholism, cycles of wanting to get better, depression, slipping in to old coping mechanisms, plus a little bit in here about dreams.  This is a song for if Harry continues partying after the memory wipe, I suppose) ----

He seems nice You met him once or twice But you wonder what he's like When he's sober

Then again You hear he has no friends Just people that he spins To do him favors

When he wakes up in the morning he tells himself Today I'll make a change But falling into his bed at night he thinks Man it was a beautiful day to stay the same

I'm so deep That only in my sleep Do the secrets that I keep Float to the surface

So I hold them down Till they don't make a sound Like they accidentally drowned Except on purpose

And when I wake up in the morning I tell myself Today I'll make a change But falling into my bed at night I think Man it was a beautiful day to stay the same

---- Airbag - Radiohead (born again, back to save the universe) ----

In the next world war In a jackknifed juggernaut I am born again In the neon sign scrolling up and down I am born again

In an interstellar burst I am back to save the universe

In a deep, deep sleep of the innocent I am born again In a fast German car I'm amazed that I survived An airbag saved my life

In an interstellar burst I am back to save the universe

---- A Comet Appears - The Shins (puppeting a man-body around pretending to be a living thing. drinking, depression) ----

One hand on this wily comet Take a drink just to give me some weight Some uber-man I'd make I'm barely a vapor

They shone a chlorine light on A host of individual sins Let's carve my aging face off Fetch us a knife Start with my eyes Down so the lines Form a grimacing smile

Close your eyes to corral a virtue Is this fooling anyone else? Never worked so long and hard To cement a failure

---- The Communists Have the Music - They Might be Giants (Big Communism Builder, but especially Harry's shallow understanding of Communism.  Party-boy communist) ----

I got handed an Ayn Rand sandwich Straight from the can, it tasted so bland I asked a lass to pass me a glass Of Engels' Conditions of the Working Class

Right away they dragged me to the committee To explain my un-American activity They're gonna see they made a mistake If they'd only let me play my mixtape

I'm not partial to the martial Or the plutocrats, in their beaver hats And the fascists have the outfits But I don't care for the outfits What I care about is music And the communists have the music

---- Harlem Roulette - The Mountain Goats (Harry thinking about Guillame le Million?  Generally: that vibe of secret, maybe supranatural machinations happening just outside your field of view.  A kinda lonely, pensive vibe, sprinkled with past drug use, driving...memory) ----

Unknown engines underneath the city Steam pushing up in billows through the grates Frankie Lymon's tracking "Seabreeze" in a studio in Harlem Its 1968. Just a pair of tunes to hammer out. Everybody's off the clock by 10:00. The loneliest people in the whole wide world are the ones you're never going to see again. Feels so free when I hit the avenue. Nothing like a New York summer night. Every dream's a good dream, Even awful dreams are good dreams, If you're doing it right. Remember soaring higher than a cloud. Get pretty sentimental now and then. The loneliest people in the whole wide world are the ones you're never going to see again. And four hours north of Portland, a radio flips on. And some no one from the future remembers that you're gone. Armies massing in the dusky distance. Ghosted in the ribbon microphone. Leave a little mark on something, maybe, Take the secret circuit home. Nothing in the shadows but the shadow hands. Reaching out to sad, young, frightened men. The loneliest people in the whole wide world are the ones you're never going to see again.

---- Suture up Your Future - Queens of the Stone Age (Harry's gonna fix his mess) ----

I'm gon' suture up my future I ain't jaded, I just hate it See, I been down too long It's kinda hard to explain Burned and buried, all I carried

...

Tried explaining unexplained Got caught in the plan All this talking at once I've been giving my love away To the things that tear it apart I'm gonna suture up my future

---- Lampshades on Fire - Modest Mouse (Harry trashing his body / having already trashed his body, just kinda a Harry-vibe song) ----

...

Well, the lampshade's on fire when the lights go out This is what I really call a party now Well, fear makes us really, really run around A-this one's done so where to now? Our eyes light up, we have no shame at all Well, you all know what I'm talking about The room lights up, but we're still dancing around We're having fun, having some fun now

Pack up again, head to the next place Where we'll make the same mistakes Open one up and let it fall to the ground Pile out the door when it all runs out

...

As our feelings are getting hurt Oh, we want you to do the work Our ass looks great inside these jeans Well, we want just our water clean

Well, this is how it's always been And this is how it's going to be So you just move on

---- Seven Nation Army - The White Stripes (Harry "can-opener" du Bois.  Talking to the skills, solving things, detecting, generally being a terrifying force of nature / the pale) ----

I'm gonna fight 'em all A seven nation army couldn't hold me back They're gonna rip it off Taking their time right behind my back

And I'm talking to myself at night Because I can't forget Back and forth through my mind Behind a cigarette

And the message coming from my eyes Says, "Leave it alone"

Don't wanna hear about it Every single one's got a story to tell Everyone knows about it From the Queen of England to the Hounds of Hell

And if I catch it coming back my way I'm gonna serve it to you And that ain't what you want to hear But that's what I'll do

And the feeling coming from my bones Says, "Find a home"

---- Body of Years - Mother Mother (Harry's past that follows him, Harry's half-decomposed body that marks the years of abuse it's been through) ----

All the remains of a cadaver of days I keep hidden away, keep them there just in case I wanna visit that place Blow the dust from the bones Off a body of years that I leave all alone Just a body of years

See the skin disappears And the blood turns to stone In a body of years now a pile of bones Like a sheet of veneer Each a piece of my soul It's a body of years that I leave all alone

It's Just a body of years, now a pile of bones You know Old soul who falls down Can't stop trippin' on these Old roads I go down Get back up and get my foot in the door And my face on the page Make my mark in the world With a bat and a blade It's a body of work that you can't ever change Like a body of years that you take to your grave It's just a body of years that I leave all alone It's just a body of years, now a pile of bones Like a sheet of veneer Each a piece of my soul

---- The Cap-m - They Might be Giants (just a Harry vibe song) ----

When I talk you keep looking away from me 'Cause you probably think that I'm high on pot But I'm not, I'm not

Look me over, I'm the Cap'm You say it's such a joke But I don't see you laughing

People seem to think you can't be called the Cap'm Unless you drive a boat Well, I don't I don't

Look me over, I'm the Cap'm Go ahead and mess with me You'll find out what will happ'm

...

Did you say what I think you just said My hat looks good on me? I agree, I agree

Look me over, I'm the Cap'm You act like it's a joke But I don't see you laughing

---- Broke - Modest Mouse (oops!  all mistakes.  Broke it all.  Want to forget it but can't) ----

Broke account, so I broke a sweat I've bought some things that I sort of regret about now Broke my pace and ran out of time Sometimes I'm so full of shit that it should be a crime

Broke a promise 'cause my car broke down Such a classic excuse it should be bronze by now Broke your glasses, but it broke the ice You said that I was an asshole and I paid the price

Broken hearts want broken necks I've done some things that I'd love to forget, but I can't

Broke up, and I'm relieved somehow It's the end of the discussions that just go 'round and 'round And 'round, and 'round, and 'round ... It was like everything was evidence of broken time

You're living on fancy wine You'll drink that turpentine You're starting conversations You don't even know the topic

---- Spent Gladiator 2 - The Mountain Goats (Defiantly alive) ----

Like a spent gladiator, Crawling in the coliseum dust. Who can count on his remaining limbs, All the people he can trust. Like the one who stands behind him, Cheering him on. Ecstatic when he stands defiant, Wild with abandon when he's gone. Just stay alive. Keep your eyes on the pay line. Like a village on the step, About to get collectivized. When the men emerge with rifles from the haystack, Everybody looks surprised. Like the mice in the forgotten grain, Way up on the top shelf. Like someone who's found a small town to escape to, Keeps one eye on his abandoned, former self. Stay in the game. Just try to play through the pain. Like a fighter who's been told its finally time for him to quit. Show up in shining colors, And then stand there and get hit. Like the clock that ticks in Dresden, When the whole town's been destroyed. Like the nagging flash of insight, You're always desperate to avoid. Like the bloody-knuckled gunman, Still stationed at the breach. Like that board game with the sliders, And the children on the beach. Stay alive. Maybe spit some blood at the camera. Just stay alive. Stay forever alive.

---- You Only Live Once - The Strokes (just general Harry, talking about the skills, choices you can make, what kind of cop you can be) ----

Twenty-nine different attributes Only seven that you like, oh-oh Twenty ways to see the world, oh And twenty ways to start a fight, oh

...

And countless odd religions too It doesn't matter which you choose, oh, no One stubborn way to turn your back, oh This I've tried and now refuse, oh

Oh don't, don't, don't get up I can't see the sunshine Oh, I'll be waiting for you, baby 'Cause I'm through Sit me down Shut me up I'll calm down And I'll get along with you

---- Pork and Beans - Weezer (Superstar Cop) ----

They say I need some rogaine to put in my hair Work it out at the gym to fit my underwear Oakley makes the shades to transform a tool You'd hate for the kids to think that you've lost your cool

I'ma do the things that I wanna do I ain't got a thing to prove to you I'll eat my candy with the pork and beans Excuse my manners if I make a scene I ain't gonna wear the clothes that you like I'm fine and dandy with the me inside One look in the mirror and I'm tickled pink I don't give a hoot about what you think

Everyone likes to dance to a happy song With a catchy chorus and beat so they can sing along Timbaland knows the way to reach the top of the charts Maybe if I work with him I can perfect the art

I'ma do the things that I wanna do I ain't got a thing to prove to you I'll eat my candy with the pork and beans Excuse my manners if I make a scene I ain't gonna wear the clothes that you like I'm fine and dandy with the me inside One look in the mirror and I'm tickled pink I don't give a hoot about what you think

No, I don't care I don't care

---- Freaks - Surf Curse (head filled with skills, The Final Dream) ----

Don't kill me just help me run away From everyone I need a place to stay Where I can cover up my face Don't cry, I am just a freak

I am just a freak(x3)

My head is filled with parasites Black holes cover up my eyes I dream of you almost every night Hopefully I won't wake up this time

I won't wake up this time(x3)

---- The Smallest Church in Sussex - British Sea Power (oh yeah this is mandatory) ----

[what-is-your-plan-today]

Riding High Ch 19: Unfair Comparison

Part 1

Chapter Summary: Fliss is not a happy bunny when she realises Frank hasn’t dumped the card, and then there’s some other stuff…and yeah I suck at summaries.

Chapter Warnings: Bad Language words. Smut (NSFW, NO UNDER 18s!)

Chapter Pairings:  Frank Adler x OFC Fliss Gallagher

A/N: Another long update so split it into two Parts! Part 2 to be uploaded straight away following this one. Also, I might be completely off in the technicalities of Parole breaches here but bear with me…

Chapter Song:  Titanium by David Guetta/Sia

Series Masterlist // Main Masterlist 

Raise your voice, sticks and stones may break my bones…

“What an ass hole." Greg shook his head, tossing the card onto the coffee table. "Tell me about it." Frank sighed as he ran his hand through his hair and leaned back heavily against the cushions of Greg's sofa. "I just..." "I know pal." Greg soothed him, "Technically you’re right, he has breached his parole. So Fliss would be perfectly within her tights to call the police. However, he’s gonna deny it, there’ll be an investigation…you’re back into statements possibly court again...all it needs is one member of a jury, if it even goes that far to doubt he sent it and..." "So I'm just supposed to sit back and let it lie?" Frank looked at Greg, almost pleading with the man to give him some kind of advice he could use. "In a word yes." Greg shrugged "and not least because that's what Fliss asked you to."

“I’m worried Greg.” Frank shook his head “Yes, it’s just a card but it proves he knows where she is…” “Not hard, her business has a website.” “Yes, I know that…” Frank started but Greg cut him off. “Frank, he can’t come out of Massachusetts.” Greg looked at Frank “He cannot physically set foot outside of that state without his GPS tag tipping the police off.”

Frank bit the inside of his cheek, his jaw twitching.

“Look, buddy, I get it.” Greg said, his tone soft “I really do…it’s shit. But for now the best thing for you to do is listen to Fliss.”

“This is bullshit.”

“Tell you what. I’ll keep the card. If she gets any more stuff from him then we can build a portfolio and send it to the police. It’s more likely to come to something if we have more incidents.”

“So basically, we just have to wait until he sends her more crap and then we might, or might not be able to do anything?” “I’m sorry pal.” Greg shrugged.

“It’s not your fault.” Frank sighed, shrugging. “Sorry I snapped. I appreciate the advice.”

“I wish I could be a little more positive.”

“Don’t we all?” Frank said, slapping his thighs with his hands “I best get off, got stuff to do this afternoon.” Greg eyed him for a moment as he stood up, before he rose from his seat to see Frank out of the villa.

“Just be there for Fliss ok?” he said as they walked to the door “Frank, if she’s asking you to do something, unless it’s really dumb then do it. Give her the control, yeah?” Frank merely nodded and then climbed into his truck, still as pissed off as he had been when he had arrived. He reached for his shades, slipped them on and headed down to the marina. He spent the afternoon cleaning the boat. And whilst it didn’t take him long as they hadn’t taken an awful lot with them, he decided to give the entire thing a good wash down and polish inside, more to keep him occupied. Paul arrived at just gone 3 pm, and was over the moon with the fact his boat had come back to him in a better condition than it had gone out in…making a quip that Frank could borrow it whenever the hell he wanted if it meant service like that.

He was just heading back to his truck when Fliss called him.

“How are my girls?” he asked and she chuckled slightly.

“Good, we’re done now so be heading home soon. What do you fancy for dinner? Anything in particular?” “I’ll swing by the store, pick up a few steaks and we can grill.” Frank said, climbing into the truck “And a bottle of Rioja?” “Perfect.” she said. “Did you get rid of that card?” Frank hesitated for a second. “I took care of it.”

“Frank?” her voice had grew a little sterner. “What does that mean? What did you do?” “I took it to Greg.” he said, not wanting to lie to her and he grimaced as she made an angry noise on the other side of the phone.

“Damnit Frank, I asked you to get rid of it…” “I just wanted some advice.” he said, “Thought I’d see what Greg made of it and-“

“You had no right to do that…” she said, her voice angry “That wasn’t your decision to make…” “Lissy…” he sighed “Look, let’s not do this on the phone. We can discuss it at home ok?”

And then the familiar pips hit his ear, signalling she’d hung up.

With a groan he banged his forehead against the steering wheel in frustration. He wasn’t looking forward one bit to that conversation.

He walked into the store a few blocks from their home, and for a second debated taking his time, just to stall but he knew he would simply be delaying the inevitable. It didn’t matter how long he left it, there was going to be an argument. He grabbed what they needed for dinner, and a few packets of snacks before he headed back out to his truck. 5 minutes or so later he was home, and walked up the steps, letting himself in.

Fliss and Mary were both in the kitchen, Mary sat on the counter with a juice box, Fliss clutching a beer.

“Hey…” he said, a little tentatively. Fliss gave him a tight smile and turned her head so that his kiss landed on her cheek.

Yeah, he was in for it. Big time.

“You had a good day?” he asked, placing the bag on the side and looked at Mary.

She nodded eagerly “I cantered today, off the lead line,” “Did you?” He smiled at her “Nice work Stack.” “Fliss got a video…” Mary said, “Can we show Frank?” “Sure.” Fliss smiled at her, and pulled out her phone. She swiped at the screen and passed it to Mary who took it, and Frank moved so he could watch the footage over her shoulder.

“My balance is still a little bit crappy…” Mary shrugged “But I didn’t fall.” “Your balance is fine.” Fliss said gently “You just need to keep your lower leg still but that will come in time. You’re doing great.” Mary beamed and handed Fliss her phone back.

“Why don’t you go get showered?” Frank looked at Mary “I need to speak to Fliss for a moment ok?”

“Can I go on my computer once I’m washed up?” “Sure.” Frank nodded. She hopped down from the counter and wandered out of the room. Frank watched her go for a moment before he turned to see Fliss was stood looking at him. “So what did Greg say?” she asked, folding her arms

“Nothing different to what you said.” Frank looked at her.

“Right, and if he had said something different, like told you to go to the police, would you have done that behind my back too?” “No, of course not!” Frank shook his head as he leaned back against the kitchen counter, both hands either side of his body on the edge of the worktop, “That’s not what I-“ he took a deep breath “Honey, I just want to make sure that we do everything right. Greg’s gonna keep the card on file, says if you get anything else then he’ll keep that too, build a case.”

Fliss looked at him for a moment before she shrugged “Whatever” “Whatever?” Frank frowned “That’s all you can say, whatever?” “Well what else am I supposed to say?” she looked back at him “You clearly know best…” “Fliss…” he sighed, “Don’t be like that…” “I’m not being like anything.” she shook her head “You’re the one that went behind my back, ignored what I asked you to do.”

“With good reason…” “You know, I thought I might be at a point in my life where I get to make the decisions about things that directly affect or concern me but clearly, I was wrong…” “Woah, woah, woah, now hang on…” Frank said, pushing away from the unit he was leaning against, holding his hand up “Are you seriously comparing what I did to him….” “No, of course not.” she snapped. “Well that kinda sounds like what you were doing…” his hands fell to his hips.

“Oh don’t be a dick, Frank.” she glared at him. “That’s not what I meant.” “Well what did you mean?”

“I already said exactly what I mean!” she said, her voice rising in volume “You had no right to do that, no right at all to go behind my back like you did. I couldn’t do anything about him getting released, but the one thing I can control is how I react to this entire situation…and you took that away from me!” “You’re completely overreacting…”

“Overreacting?” “Yes…” he said, stepping towards her “Liss, I didn’t do it to take control…nothing of the sort…” “How would you feel if you told me not to do something with Mary, something that meant a lot to you, and I still went and did it anyway?” “That’s…” he shook his head “That’s completely different.” “No, it isn’t!” she yelled back “It would be a complete disregard for your wishes, it’s exactly the same…” Frank looked at her, his eyes locking onto hers as she simply snorted and shook her head “You don’t even see what you did wrong do you?” “No, and I’m not apologising either.” he shook his head

“Of course you’re not.” she snorted “This is getting us nowhere.”

With that she turned and called for Thor.

“Where are you going?” he frowned, following her into the hall as she slipped on her sneakers.

“Out.”

“Where?” he asked, when she didn’t reply he pressed again “Lissy.” “Piss off Frank.” she shot back, and with that she stormed out of the front door, slamming it behind her.

Frank stood still, his hands on his hips before he dropped his head with a sigh.

“Nice job…” he heard Mary say from behind him.

“Shut up.” he snapped, a little harshly as he turned to face her. She glared at him and then rolled her eyes.

“I’m going back to my room.” she said simply, stalking off down the corridor, laptop under her arm.

Frank watched her go before he shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Way to go Adler, you fucking idiot.

**** Fliss angrily stomped across the lawn and took a right, Thor trotting at her heels. She walked down the path that led to the Marina, took a left and dropped down the stone steps onto the beach, pausing to remove her sneakers. She dug her toes into the sand, rolled up her riding britches as much as she could before she headed to the waters edge, allowing the water to splash over her legs, Thor giving an excited bark as he gambolled in and out of the waves.

She was angry. Angrier than she had been in a long time. But it was more than that, she felt betrayed in a way. She had asked Frank to do something, something she felt she was perfectly within her rights to request and he had deliberately ignored her.

She wasn’t sure how long she had been stood there, simply looking out over at the horizon but she was jolted from her thoughts by her phone ringing. She debated ignoring it for a while, but eventually she pulled it from her pocket and took a breath as she realised it was her Dad.

“Hey Pops.” she greeted him. “You ok?” “Yeah fine Titch.” he said, “Just noticed I had a missed call…” “Oh, yeah…” she said, for a moment she had forgotten she had called. She had been planning to tell him about the card but as she stood there, she wasn’t sure she wanted to anymore “It wasn’t important..” “Charming…” she heard her mother and Fliss let out a chuckle.

“You got me on speaker?”

“Bluetooth.” Bill replied “We’ve been to the store.” “Stocking up for tomorrow.” Verity said “Can’t have a roast dinner with no potatoes…Mary would have a fit.”

“Yeah…yeah she will.” Fliss said with a sigh.

There was a pause before Bill spoke again “Lissy, you ok?” “Not really no…” she said, her eyes brimming with tears. “Me and Frank, we had an argument…a pretty big one…” “What about?” Bill asked.

“So, this morning…I had a card arrive at the yard…and it was from John…” Bill made an angry noise as Verity let out an exclamation.

“That’s…he’s broken his parole…” “I know, but they’re not gonna launch an investigation over a card…so I asked Frank to get rid of it. But he took it to Greg behind my back and…” She trailed off, rubbing at her temple.

“So I’m guessing you discussed your disappointment with him in a calm and collected manner…” Bill said sarcastically.

“If by calm you mean calling him a dick and storming out then yeah.” Fliss replied.

There was another moment of silence and Verity spoke again. “Honey, look…I’m sure he did what he thought was right…” “That’s not the point!” Fliss groaned “the point is I asked him not to. And he did it anyway. The one thing I can control in all of this is how I deal with it. And he completely disregarded that.” “Look, Liss, I love you to pieces, we both do” Bill spoke “But so does Frank, and him taking that card to Greg won’t have been about going behind your back. Have you considered how he feels in all of this?” “How he feels?” “Yeah, this is…this is something he will never have dealt with before. Seeing some other man basically trying to terrorise his girlfriend…he’s going to want to hit back, try and see if there’s something he can do. This isn’t about control. It’s about keeping you safe.”

Verity picked up the conversation at that point.

“I see your point sweetheart, and yes, he should have discussed it first but...” “So you both think I’m in the wrong?” Fliss asked gently, as she looked at her feet, Thor returning to her side and flopping down on the damp sand. “No…that’s not what either of are saying, is it V?”

“No, not at all. He had no right to go behind your back, I get that honey I do, but…well, this can’t be easy for Frank either. And maybe…” “Maybe you should cut him some slack.” Bill finished “He’s a good man Fliss, and heaven knows you waited long enough for one to come along.”

“I know.” Fliss said quietly, the tears trickling down her face. “I know…” “I can hear the ocean…so go home.” Bill said gently. “Talk to him. Calmly. Don’t let that asshole get in the middle of what you two have Titch, you both deserve more than that.”

She nodded to herself, wiping her face and then bidding her parents good-bye she placed the phone back in her pocket.  Mulling their words over she turned and headed back across the sand, the sun setting behind them as she made her way over to the food truck parked by the side of the boardwalk.

******

By the time Frank had convinced Mary to speak to him so he could apologise for snapping, it was getting dark out. Fliss had been gone for a good hour and a half, and Frank was getting a little concerned. He was just about to call Roberta to watch Mary whilst he went out looking, when the door opened and Thor padded into the living room.

Frank stood up and turned to see Fliss in the doorway. Her eyes locked onto his and he gave her a small smile.

“I was getting kinda worried.” Frank said softly “Wasn’t sure you were coming home.”

“Neither was I.” she replied honestly and Frank swallowed slightly as she looked at him and sighed “I’m going for a shower then to bed. I’m tired.” “Ok.” he nodded “Do you want something to eat or…” “I grabbed a burger when I was out.” she shrugged, “I’m fine, thanks.” There was a moment of silence during which Frank simply nodded and then Fliss turned and headed down the corridor, popping her head into Mary’s room to say goodnight. Once he watched her open the door to the bathroom and shut it behind her, he set about quickly tidying the kitchen up, tossing the empty beer bottles into the recycling box under the sink before he loaded the dishwasher and set it going.  He moved around the living room, tidying a few things away before he turned the lights off and made his way into the bedroom.

Fliss was led on the bed, remote to the TV held in her hand as she glanced up at him for a second, her eyes flicking back to the screen on the wall.

“You still mad at me?” he asked tentatively as he pulled off his t-shirt. She looked at him for a second and sighed.

“Dad told me I was being an idiot.” “Right.” he said, sitting down on the bed next to her, extending his legs down the bed “That’s not answering my question sweetheart.” “I don’t know anymore” she shrugged “Yes, I’m still mad you did it…but I understand why. The fact you had the right intentions doesn’t make going behind my back any better.” “I didn’t mean to make you feel like that, and yeah, ok, I should have asked you first, talked it over.” Frank conceded nodding “I’m sorry.”

“And I’m sorry if you thought before that I was saying you’re anything like him because you’re not…and I know that…because I can get mad at you and…well, that makes it impossible to stay mad at you for long…”

“What?” Frank looked at her, smiling, his eyebrow raised. “What does that even mean?” Fliss looked at him, a faint smile on her face as she sighed “It means that I can get mad at you, and shout, and leave in a temper tantrum for a walk or whatever, without worrying that when I come back you’re gonna hurt me.” Frank looked at her for a moment, as her words sunk in. Something so simple as having an argument was such a huge thing for her, and the fact she even saw having an argument as a measurement of how much she could trust him because she felt comfortable enough to call him out on the things he did that she didn’t like or agree with, was utterly fucked up. But in a strange way, made total sense.

She could argue with him because she felt safe…

Frank moved so he was led on his side, propped up on his elbow facing her, his hand gently reaching out to brush a strand of hair behind her ear as she looked down at him where she was led, shoulders leaning against the bottom of the head board of the bed. He could see she was getting upset now, her brown eyes were watering and with a sigh he gestured with his head and opened his arms and she shuffled down further, allowing him to pull her into his chest, gently kissing her head.

“I love you.” he said softly “So much. I only went to Greg because I was worried. I’d do anything to keep you and Mary safe, you know that.”

“I know…” she said quietly as he slid his finger under her chin, lifting her head so that she was looking at him. Lowering his head, he kissed her softly, his hand cupping her cheek as his lips gently worked against hers. She relaxed into him, allowing him to deepen the kiss, his hand tangling in her hair as her fingers softly skated through his short beard. Frank let out a smile against her mouth and she pulled back to look at him, her soft, brown eyes searching his.

“What?” she asked.

“Nothing…” he smiled, “I just like it when you do that…” “What? This?” she asked, her nails scratching slightly against his whiskers and he let out a sigh of satisfaction, giving a nod. Fliss watched him for a second as his eyelids flickered shut, those ridiculously long lashes resting against his cheeks as she continued to gently run her hands through his beard, before she shuffled closer and pressed her lips to his.

“I like it when you do that too…” he chuckled and she smiled against his mouth. They continued trading soft, tender kisses before Frank slowly moved so that Fliss was led under him, caging her with his arms as she gently ran her hands through his hair, pulling his head back down to kiss her again. His lips gently trailed along her jaw line to that spot on her neck just below her ear where he gave a soft nip causing Fliss to let out a soft moan. Her hips bucked upwards slightly, drawing a soft growl from Frank’s throat at the feeling as she pushed against him, all the time his mouth continuing its path downwards, tracing the line of her throat as his hands reached down and gently tugged at the hem of her vest top. She sat up slightly allowing him to remove it and he fell back over her, his lips latching back onto her neck, drawing another soft groan from Fliss at the feeling of his beard scratching against her skin and the contrast of his soft lips. His tongue circled the swell of her breast before he gently took a nipple into his mouth, listening to keens as he teased her, his other hand sliding down over the curve of her hip, fingers brushing the hem of her sleep shorts before he slid his hand beneath the material, parting her folds as he began to tease her with his fingers, coaxing more and more wetness from her as he went. He glanced up to see her head was thrown back against her pillow, eyes shut in utter bliss as she bit her lip.

“Look at me…” he said softly, moving so that his face was hovering over hers again, fingers still working. She opened those deep brown eyes he felt he could drown in and her pupils were blown with desire. His fingers picked up their pace and he slid one, then two inside her, curling against her spot over and over again.

“Frankie…” she panted as her back arched, “I..”  her words stopped as she found herself unable to form them any longer, instead issuing a low gasp which turned into a groan as her eyes fluttered shut and she convulsed underneath him, tighten around his fingers. Eventually she relaxed and her breathing evened out slightly and she looked up at him, a soft smile on her face before her hand slid up into his hair, as he slanted his mouth over hers.

Then it was a fast scramble to get both of them out of the last remaining, thin barriers of clothing before Frank nestled into the v of her legs, mouth nipping at her collar bone.

“Want you…” she purred into his ear and fuck, did he want her too. Her hand reached down between them, and she gently lined him up, pressing her lips to his.

“Don’t keep me waiting Sailor…” she said softly.

And Frank, not one to refuse his girl what she wanted did as she asked, working into her with a steady, gently movement which made him shudder, dropping to his elbows over her as she gave a soft moan. Her hands gently gripped at his broad shoulders as he began to move, his thrusts slow and gentle at first, hips rocking against hers. Their mouths crashed together in a sloppy kiss as she raked her nails down his back, the sting on his skin caused desire to lance through him even more and he gave a groan, picking up the pace slightly, her body moving with his from each steady thrust, skin sliding against skin, the soft sounds of sex and groans and whimpers filled the air and half the time Frank was at a loss as to who exactly was making them.

“More…” she begged softly, and he hooked his hand under her knee, wrapping her leg up round his waist allowing him to drive deeper. She gave a loud mewl underneath him as her nails dug further into his shoulders as he moved faster, reading the signs she was giving him, his hips now snapping back and forth with a needy desire, the carnal want he had for this woman consumed him and he knew he wasn’t going to last much longer.

“Come on baby…” he said, his breath ragged on her ear as he gently sucked at that spot again, feeling her writhing underneath him. “I got you, let go…”

His breath caught slightly as she tipped her head to press her lips to his, the kiss heated and he swallowed the loud groan she made before her head fell back her hands gripping to his back as if her life depended on it.

“Frankie…I’m…gonna…” she managed to stutter before her mouth once more slackened and her sultry lament made Frank shudder as her body shook underneath him, her leg twitching as he held it tight round his waist. Her heat gripped him, pulsing again and again and he felt the burning deep in the pit of his stomach, the surge of his own orgasm felt like it was rising from his very toes as he drove into her once more.

“Fuck, Lissy…” he mumbled and a guttural rumble erupted from his throat as his hips stuttered slightly before he made another few shallow thrusts before he collapsed forward, burying his head in her neck as the afterglow consumed him.

He had no idea how long passed before he managed to muster enough about himself to raise his head. She still had her eyes closed but there was a satisfied smile playing on her lips, one he couldn’t help but mirror. As he watched her face, the tip of his nose gently resting against hers, her eyelids flickered open and he smiled down at her, gently pressing their foreheads together.

“Ok?”

“Yeah…” her voice was raspy and she swallowed “That was more than ok…” He chuckled as he met her lips in a soft kiss, before he gently rolled off her, laying on his back and reaching down for the duvet which was tangled around their legs. After a short wrestle with it and a bit more giggling they both settled down, Fliss’ head on his chest as he lay on his back, his hand softly carding through her hair.

PART 2

[subsequentibis]

this is a DELIGHT to read, thank you so much for submitting it!! publishing for the aforementioned class, everyone pls take notes. p.s. i do have a wheelbarrow in my garage so if you ever need to transport sixteen stone of injured sea captain hit me up

-ibis

~~

hello, i’m fairly sure you know exactly which silly person is writing this at this point.  yes, it’s me again.  i really truly hope that this works and doesn’t do a weird thing, i’m a tiny bit alarmed about doing this.  i am a tiny nervous horse when it comes to internet stuff and i’ve attempted to proofread this maybe three times in order to put off actually sending this to you.  i guess i’m just going to have to get this over with, so here are my debatably comprehendable ideas, mostly exactly as they were written in yesterday’s four-hour spiral of madness.

breaking news: local goof observes a tumblr post and proceeds to attempt to hack reality in order to see if they could in theory achieve this.  am i ready to haul nearly six feet of incapacitated and extremely thick local captain to the nearest medical facility?  part of me says no, part of me says hell yeah.  let’s go find out.

okay, what do i get and what skills do i have.  (time to invent some rules for this strange game and figure out just what i’d do.  focusing on stephen and jack because they were the two characters you mentioned, this could probably apply to other characters but i’m going to only reckon with these as this project is strange enough as it currently stands.  i’m expecting this to quickly go off the rails.)  (note as i edit this over: this is extremely chaotic and you should be warned.  i thought way too much about this and it shows, and it kind of terrifies me, not only because of the baffling sentence structures (or lack thereof).  rereading this after having properly eaten and communicated with human beings for the day has shown me that i sound like an alien for much of this.  terribly sorry to sound like an alien, swear i’m human and just kind of a bit strange inside.)

so: i can have anything currently on the property where i currently reside (garage and driveway included) and all my real skills.

i cannot drive because:

i do not have the physical ability to drive

i do not have the legal ability to drive

i can’t get help from any other person: this is an imaginary situation where exists in this house just me and a fictional lad who needs to be got to a local medical facility.  (this is a very weird imaginary situation but honestly the peak of my own interests colliding.)

so what do i have here anyway (all of this is written assuming i personally am the one having to do this and am moving one of them from my place of residence to the nearest medical facility):

arms: not very strong (could potentially lift stephen since i can lift some of my friends and he’s both shorter and thinner, definitely cannot move jack an inch)

legs: i assume walking is not an option for reasons of either necessary speed of delivery or actually he cannot walk.  oh yeah and also reasons of narrative whatever.  continuing.

cars: cannot and will not drive, he is from the 1800s and cannot drive either, or in the case of stephen even if he could drive should not be trusted behind the wheel even in the peak of health.  anyway given this vague situation we none of us should be driving.

bikes (various): i’m a fairly good biker, i’ve got pretty good stamina and can haul rather well on my own bike.  with a little work (as seen in yon post) might be able to even sort of rig something up to perch stephen on my handlebars.  this will not function with jack.  *with a great deal of effort i drag him onto the front of the bike, wait a beat, then watch in horror as the bike tips back wheel up and dumps him back on the floor with an unpleasant thud* so that’s not going to work.

wheelbarrow: very cool and possibly functional plan.  unfortunately we do not have a wheelbarrow.  alas.

wagon: pros and cons.  pro: we can haul the boy in this.  con: we have to haul the boy.  the boy can fit in this in a balanced manner, but let me restate: my arms are not very strong and jack is near six feet of unhelpful heavy meat.  as usual this is more of a viable option for stephen.  but god jack is just a big dense boy and i’m just a wobbly little person with noodles for arms.

alright.  local noodle-armed goof is trying some new approaches regarding wagon/bikes: using my dad’s old bike with the board on the back and sort of tying him on there somehow so he faces backwards and sort of leans on me.  he could even put his feet in the little saddlebag things for balance!  although again i’d be worried about the sheer weight and size if i’m basically just dragging this man like a deceased sack of meat all the way to the hospital.  so that depends.  one more for the list of could potentially work with stephen.  (although if he was anything less than utterly out i would have zero luck getting either of them to take part in any of these increasingly ridiculous plans.) (actually, depending on the situation it might work out if he was in a certain mood?  anyhow, did not come here for these considerations.  only for increasingly less reasonable methods of transportation.) 

okay forging boldly onward.  if i don’t want to try to do a huge hill with the wagon and my little noodle arms and hundreds-odd pounds of floppy boat lad i could try to rig up something where i tie the wagon to the back of a bike, but that wouldn’t end well because on downhills it would slide forward unless i distributed the weight somehow to make the front of the bike heavier than the wagon… which is not gonna happen because that would either be impossible with the supplies i have or render the bike entirely nonfunctional.  leaving the wagon to clunk back and forth is also an issue given that i am trying to get this man medical attention asap and not actively make the situation worse.  i’ve done this wagon and bike thing before when both people involved were starting out fine and even that didn’t end well.  (in case you were wondering, we careened down the street crashing into one another and came to a stop by hitting a parked car.  we are all fine now and so is the car and we do not do things like this anymore.  it was a terrible idea that i regret every day.)  no go.

vacuum cleaner: bad idea.  no.  did i think of these as an option just because i have one and it has wheels?  i did, didn’t i.  do not attempt.

razor scooter: no.  why.  how.  please stop this.

boards: possibly a viable option.  we got skateboards, we got surfboards, we got actual just plain old wooden boards.  (none of the ones in my home actually belong to me, but ignore that bit.  trying to save a life here.)  probably the best route would be to stick some skateboards under something big enough to bear up an entire human person, slap a few pillows or something over top, and get shoving.  don’t ask about what happens when we get to the big hills.  (yeah i live in an area made entirely of hills and it’s a long steep way down and a long steep way up to get anywhere of interest, and if you’re on wheels then sucks to be you i guess.)  in retrospect perhaps not as good of an idea.

so i guess four hours later i’ve come to the precise conclusion that you did.

put stephen on a bike.  put jack in a wagon.  maybe learn to drive?  jury’s still out on that one.  anyway that was a fun four hours that i won’t regret spending this way at all no sirree.

alright!  hope this wasn’t too strange or unreadable!  have a nice day, you’re wonderful!

[lovemesomerafael]

EL AMOR TODO LO PUEDE Chapter 23:  Say Anything

I apologize; I didn’t keep track of who posted this fabulous pic, if it’s you, please let me know so I can give you credit. 

Chapters 1-20  Chapter 21  Chapter 22

As he waited for the elevator, Barba saw Laura Parker enter the apartment building.  This was a new experience; they had not run into one another here since they’d learned they both lived in this building.  Since there was nobody else on the elevator, he held it for her.

A little blinded by the difference between the late afternoon sun and the dim lobby of the building, she didn’t see him holding the elevator until she was close.

“Hey, thanks,” she greeted him, mentally kicking herself for sounding so stupidly cheerful.  

As they rode up toward their floors, she turned to him suddenly and asked, “Would you happen to have a socket wrench?”

“Socket wrench,” he repeated, a little thrown by the question. 

“Ikea cabinet.  I’ve already cried twice.”

Barba laughed, although he didn’t see the connection between a socket wrench and building anything from Ikea.  He was shocked to hear his own voice say, “I have a socket wrench.  I’ll bring it by.”  I’ll do what?  Where had that come from?

“8D.”  

“I remember.”

Half an hour later, Laura heard him knock.  It was disorienting to think that A.D.A. Barba could be standing outside her apartment door but, as she looked through the peephole, there he was, socket set in hand. Despite her nervousness, she tried to appear relaxed and welcoming as she opened the door.  Her smile faltered a little when she saw that he was wearing a soft-looking black T-shirt and black jeans.  He had a noticeable five O’clock shadow that added to the overall sexily casual picture.  He looked so good she was momentarily unable to speak.

“Socket wrench,” he said, holding the metal box out to her.  

“Thanks.”  She took it from him.  “Do you, um… want to come in?”

“And build your cabinet for you?  No, thanks.” Did she actually look disappointed? He realized the idea of disappointing her caused a pang in his heart.  Advertencia.  Peligro.[1]  Again he had the disconcerting experience of hearing his voice saying something his brain had not planned.  “But I’d be willing to watch and kibbutz.”

“You can watch.  No kibbutzing.”

“I can’t promise that.”

“Then I can’t promise I won’t make you build the cabinet.”  

Barba smiled crookedly, then said, “We gonna negotiate this in the hallway?”

Laura stepped aside so he could enter.  As he stepped by her, he looked down at her jeans, which had a large hole in the right knee, and a smaller one on the left.  The jeans were old Levi’s, the type made of real, thick denim, and were well broken in. The seams were nearly white, and the holes were obviously from wear, rather than part of the design of the jeans. Something about the way the jeans fit, and the tantalizing glimpse of her legs through the holes was disturbing to Barba.  The strip of skin that kept appearing between the waistband of her jeans and her fitted yellow T-shirt didn’t help.  

“Rabid wolverines?”  He asked, grinning down at the holes in her jeans.

“Funny,” she answered drily.

Her apartment still had boxes here and there, filled with books and other things she didn’t have a place to store yet.  As she’d said, there wasn’t much furniture, just a soft, comfortable-looking blue couch. He was interested in the keyboard and guitar in a corner.  

“You play?”

“About as well as I speak Spanish,” she answered, smirking.  

He rolled his eyes.  So she wasn’t done teasing him about that.

A long, torn cardboard box had been tossed into a corner, and piles of wooden planks sat in the center of the room.  The cabinet hardware was spread haphazardly, but at least each piece was visible.  The only two pieces of the cabinet hooked together so far were obviously incorrectly joined and sitting crookedly on the floor.  Barba looked at Laura with an eyebrow cocked questioningly.  

“What?”  Laura asked, holding up the instruction booklet.  “The instructions are in Swedish!”

Rafael took it from her. “The instructions are pictures.”

“Well, the pictures are in Swedish.”

“Detective.”  Rafael said, using his cross-examination voice. “Did you intentionally invite me down to your apartment on a pretext to get me to build your cabinet for you?”

“No,” she said.

He simply looked at her.

“I didn’t!  I just asked you for a socket wrench.”

“Which, by the way, would be of no use in building this cabinet.”

“Yes, it will.  There’s these little metal things and you have to twist them in.”

“With a wrench.  Which comes with the cabinet.”

“So that’s what the weird-shaped holes are for.  I wondered about that.”

His expressionless stare was both amusing and sexy.  How did he manage that?

“OK, fine, so I suck at Ikea! You found out my shameful secret. Feel free to mock me for the next 3 to 5 years.”

“I intend to,” he smirked.  The pleased, teasing expression in his eyes caused her to catch her breath for the second time in less than five minutes.

When she could speak, her voice was serious.  “Listen. I admit I’m pathetic at this stuff,” she gestured at the floor.  “But if I was going to ask you to help me, I’d have asked you straight up.  I’m not here for games like that.”

He just shrugged. “OK.  Tell you what.  You buy dinner, I’ll help with this masterpiece here.  Deal?”  ¿Por qué de repente no tengo control sobre lo que digo? Podría necesitar un médico.[2]

Laura looked skeptical. “Doesn’t that make me guilty of…”

“No.  I retract the accusation.  You didn’t lure me here to build your cabinet, and now I’m offering to do it for… souvlaki.  Do we have a deal?”

”We have a deal.”  The smile she gave him was worth building several pieces of furniture.   As she pulled menus from a drawer to order dinner, he began to organize the materials for the cabinet.  He looked over at her as she sifted through the handful of menus, again noticing the way her simple jeans and T-shirt accentuated her lithe, athletic frame.

Barba knelt on the floor and began to separate the pieces Laura had put together.  While his back was turned, Laura took the opportunity to appreciate the fit of his jeans.  Who knew Barba even owned jeans?  She found the menu for a nearby Greek restaurant and brought it to the couch where she read it to him and, for the next five minutes, they negotiated dinner. As Laura called in their order, she tried to absorb the fact that Rafael Barba was in her living room building an Ikea cabinet, and he had asked her to have dinner with him.  Hadn’t he?  Did that count as asking her to have dinner with him?  What the hell.  I’m not a kid.  Why am I actually nervous right now?

Once dinner was ordered, she went over to sit next to him on the floor.  “So, how is this gonna work?”

He glanced at her before picking up two pieces of the cabinet and lying them side by side.  “If I need any help, I’ll let you know.”

“So, what?  I just watch you build a cabinet?”

“Don’t take this personally, Detective, but I think that’s best for everyone.”

She couldn’t help but laugh. “So what do I do?”

“Talk to me.  Tell me how an ER nurse in Chicago becomes a cop in New York.  You said it was a long story, and we appear to have some time.   Hand me that round thing over there.”

“Oh, boy.  Well, I, uh…  I’m a recovering alcoholic.  The ‘drive your life off a cliff and keep your foot on the gas’ kind.”

“Huh.”

“Yeah.”

“Bring me that piece over there.  So… go on.”

Barba worked on the cabinet while Laura gave him the short version of her story.  The food arrived just as she was finishing, at which point Laura remembered that she didn’t have a table.  Of all the surprising things about that evening, the best was learning that Rafael Barba, urbane and eternally impeccable attorney, was perfectly happy eating dinner on the floor.

Looking for a topic of conversation as they sorted through the bags and Styrofoam containers, Laura said, “I heard a story about you winning a case by letting a guy choke you with a belt.”

He snorted.  “That was my first SVU case, as a matter of fact.” He told her about the crime, and the trial, and how he had ended up being desperate enough to resort to such a longshot tactic.  Not surprisingly for a man who told stories to juries for a living, he was a particularly entertaining storyteller.

“Where did you hear that story?”  

“A friend of mine.  You’ve actually met him, he works in your office. Peter Stone?”

Friend?

“Yes, I met him.  Didn’t you both just come from Chicago?”

“We did.  Together, as a matter of fact.  We’re old friends.”

Old friends. Barba wanted to ask about a hundred questions, but didn’t know how to do that without appearing… interested.  He was saved by Laura’s curiosity.  

Finishing a bite of lamb, she said, “I feel like that Incel we questioned last week, telling you boring stories about me.  What about you?”

“Tell you boring stories about me?” He grinned.

“I’d rather hear interesting ones, but if that’s the best you can do…”

For the rest of the time they ate dinner, Barba talked about growing up in the Bronx, telling sweet, funny stories about his childhood.  Most of them were charmingly self-deprecating, like the ones about being a Catholic schoolboy menaced by bullies from the public school down the street, and his disastrous first year in Little League.  

For the rest of the evening, they talked about nothing while Barba put the cabinet together, frequently asking Laura to hand him things or hold things.  The odd situation started to feel normal.  Comfortable.  Pleasant. Conversation was easy and lively, with Barba’s quick wit and tendency to purposely provoke her keeping Laura laughing and looking for ways to tease back.  

Were they… flirting with eachother?  Was that what was happening?  Laura was enchanted with him, she knew that.  He was even better looking up close, and somehow the early experience of feeling beneath Barba’s notice made it all the more special that he’d chosen to spend time alone with her.  And she really liked him.  Whether or not he might be interested – and with each passing moment, she hoped more that he might be – she really enjoyed hanging out with him.  

Barba was having very similar thoughts.  In his case, however, the attraction was nowhere near as welcome.  Barba didn’t date.  That was that.  He liked women as much as the next guy, but he liked them from afar.  The price of getting involved, of opening his heart and making himself vulnerable, was just too high.  Besides, he didn’t even know if he could have a relationship anymore.  Maybe he had just lost that ability.  He hoped so.  But then what are you doing in this apartment letting yourself be captivated by this woman?  

Together, they stood up the finished cabinet and wrestled it to its place.  Laura looked a little dazzled.  “You never even looked at the pictures.”

“I didn’t need to.  It’s obvious how this stuff goes together.”

“Not to me.”

“Claro.”[3]

“You’re not gonna go all superior on me now, are you, Harvard?”

“About this?  Yes.”  That smirk again.  There was an eye twinkle now, too.  Laura felt lightheaded which, as a nurse, she understood resulted from all the blood in her body rushing south.  

Barba couldn’t understand how someone who was clearly intelligent and capable could have such a complete inability to conceptualize how build-it-yourself furniture goes together, even with instructions.  He found it fascinating and endearing, like a lot of things about her.  Cállate, Barba.  No esta pasando.[4]

As Laura began to clean up the bits of cardboard and torn little plastic bags from the floor, Barba prepared to leave.  It was actually something of a relief to him.  He needed to be alone, have a drink, and regain his senses.

“I need to get going,” he said, groaning and stretching out the kinks in his muscles from sitting on the floor for three hours.  “Feliz noche,[5] Detective.”

“Hey, thank you. Really.  I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

“Neither do I.  From a purely scientific point of view, it would’ve been fascinating to find out.”

She smiled the same small, adorable smile and rolled her eyes the same way she’d done all night when he’d made fun of her.  It was definitely time for him to go.

“’Night.  And thanks again.  I’ll… see you at work, I guess.”  

“Thanks for dinner.  Que tengas buena noche.”[6]

As the door closed between them, both Barba and Laura wore thoughtful expressions and smiles that were a little bit silly.  Both of them had thoroughly enjoyed the evening.  Laura was happily excited about what might happen next.  Rafael wasn’t.

[1] Warning.  Danger.

[2] Why do I suddenly have no control over what I say?  I may need a doctor.

[3] Clearly.

[4] Shut up, Barba.  It’s not happening.

[5] Good night

[6] Have a good night.

[gascon-en-exil]

A Not Actually Definitive Ranking of Fire Emblem Games

So after a lot of deliberation I’ve decided not to revisit last year’s Zelda ranking project on a full scale for FE, but that doesn’t mean it’s not something I really wanted to do. 2018 is the year we’re going to get alternatively hyped for and disappointed by FE16, after all. With that in mind have an abbreviated list that will end up being one very long post. I’ve got games to gush over and an anon or two (and very likely actual followers…eep) to piss off, so here we go.

The “personal favorites of the series, love revisiting them” Tier - FE10, FE2/15, FE4

I’m never going to argue that Radiant Dawn is a perfect game or even just a perfect FE game, but damned if it doesn’t manage to do so much right all at once. An extremely ambitious story that builds off its mostly conventional predecessor in a variety of interesting ways, deconstructing a bunch of series narrative standards (life in a defeated country kind of sucks and there are people that don’t warm that quickly to young and inexperienced rulers, go figure) and taking an eleventh hour hard right at Nietzchean atheism as read by a Pride parade. Kind of falls on its ass by the end, but every experimental FE story does the same thing so I can’t fault this one. I love the army switching as motivation to try different units almost as much as I love the oh-so-exploitable growth and BEXP mechanics. Its Easy mode also hits a sweet spot for me of being challenging enough to not be a complete snore while also allowing the freedom for all manner of weird self-imposed challenges that don’t even require grinding. By all accounts Hard mode is one lazy design choice after another, but I don’t play at that level so no complaints here.

Never played Gaiden, but to its credit around half of the unique gameplay mechanics I like in Shadows of Valentia were also in the original: the modest army size, the novel approaches to inventory management and magic, the pretty basic class system with just a hint of nuance. The remake threw in some hit-or-miss questing, dungeon exploration, and achievements, but all the rest was either a solid addition or a continuation of NES-era annoyances that I could live with. And the story…SoV makes me dislike the DS games even more just because this game does so much with so little. Even leaving aside the mostly great voice acting there’s a bunch of new content that characterizes almost everybody and makes half of them (the men, anyway, because this is a remake of a Kaga-era game and therefore misogynistic as can be) gay because why the hell not, and then some development that constitutes the only solid attempt at worldbuilding Archanea-Valentia-Ylisse has ever really gotten and also retcons some stuff from Awakening into making sense. It’s even got some solid DLC with lots of character stuff for the Deliverance, the least sucky grinding of the 3DS games, and probably the only context in which I’ll ever be able to comment on anything from Cipher.

No remake needed for Genealogy of the Holy War to make it competitive with the rest of the top tier - just an excellent translation patch and the standard features of an emulator. I’ve never watched Game of Thrones and probably don’t plan on it, but I gather that this game provides the same essential experience with less blood and female nudity and marginally more egalitarianism for all. I can forgive it for being the original Het Baby Fest since you’d be hard-pressed to find a single entirely healthy and well-adjusted individual anywhere on Jugdral and I relate to that just as much. Screwed up family dynamics for everyone! It’s also arguably got a more fun breeding meta than either of the 3DS games, lacking Awakening’s optimization around a single postgame map with very specific parameters or Fates’s high level of balance that ironically stymies analysis. This is another game for interesting inventory management and unit leveling that isn’t too obnoxious, which mostly makes up for the maps taking an eon to play through even with an emulator speeding through those enemy phases. This would be a strange game to remake, but if it got a localized one of the same caliber as SoV I fully acknowledge that this could climb to the #2 spot. SoV would probably have the queer edge though unless they do some strange things to the plot or just make Gen 2 really gay…but then again Gen 2 is the part that’s more in need of fleshing out as it is. (Also, this game has So. Much. Incest. That’s not even really a kink of mine especially as it’s all straight incest, but I just find that hilarious in light of how Tumblr’s purity culture speaks of such things.)

The “good games, but don’t come back to them as much” Tier - FE7, FE9, FE8

Blazing Sword is not here for nostalgia purposes, especially since when I first played the game at 14 years old most of what I like about it didn’t really register. It was just that game with RPG elements that I liked and permadeath that I didn’t, and it took a few games after that for me to become an established fan of the franchise. Massive props for putting such an unconventional spin on a prequel to a textbook FE; this is a game in a series about war in which no war is fought, how crazy is that? We actually get to see the backstory of FE6′s tragic antagonist, even as it’s completely tangential to the plot of this game and so just feels like random Jugdral-esque family drama without context, and on top of that we get the first hints of interdimensional travel and kinky human/shapeshifter sex several years before either of those became controversial talking points about how they were ruining the series. I am so there. Lyn doesn’t matter to the saga, but her character arc is distinct and self-contained and also she picked up a disproportionately large fanbase while being bisexual and biracial so go her. Eliwood is sympathetic and homosocially-inclined even if his growths frequently make me want to cry (at least he gets a horse unlike his similarly-challenged son), and I can live with Hector even if I could have done without his lordly legacy. Throw in some average-for-the-time gameplay with just enough variety across the two routes and even more good character work *waves at Sonia and Renault and Priscilla -> Raven/Lucius and Serra and…* and it’s all in all a solid experience. The ranking system can go die in a fire though, which funnily enough it did after this game. Yay!

Like most early 3D games - except on Gamecube so it’s even more embarrassing - Path of Radiance has aged terribly by every aesthetic measure aside from the soundtrack. It’s also painfully slow, and my computer can’t run Dolphin apparently so an emulator’s not going to fix that for me. Those obvious flaws aside, it’s still an entertaining game, and more importantly it’s the prologue that had the crucial task of setting up all the pins RD knocked over in stellar fashion, whether we’re talking about the basic storyline that actually isn’t or the many het relationship fake-outs (more so in localization…I guess we’ll never know if NoA was actively planning that when they pushed Ike/Elincia like they did). PoR is also a love letter to Jugdral in both gameplay and themes, albeit an occasionally critical one. The jury’s still out on whether Jugdral or Tellius succeeds the most (fails the least?) of the FE settings at developing a complete world with a nuanced and resonant saga narrative, but that Tellius manages to be competitive while being kind of clumsy overall with racism and shifting the series’s overarching motif of dragon-blooded superhumans to one of kinky interracial sex is pretty impressive. The less I say about Ike the better since it’s only his endings in RD that save him for me; suffice it to point out that his worldview and general personality were clearly designed to appeal to a demographic that does not include me.

And finally comes The Sacred Stones, truly my average benchmark FE as I like it but struggle to have any particularly strong feelings on it one way or the other. The story is standard but has a few intriguing quirks, like the light vs. dark magic meta, surprise necrophilia, and how the main antagonist’s sexuality sort of depends on which route you take (except he’s still never getting laid so does it really matter?). It also seems to have been the first game to have made a legitimate effort toward the kind of replayability that’s normal for RPGs, what with the branched promotions, the route split, and the actual postgame. That’s all much more engaging than just filling up a support log. The gameplay is also more polished and (I think?) more balanced than the other GBA games, if one is willing to overlook the minor issue of Seth. Let’s see…something something twincest that’s now an IS running gag, something something guys talking intimately about their lances, something something SoV did the whole dungeon crawling with monsters bit better but I can forgive SS for not taking it that far. Moving on….

The “they have Problems” Tier - FE14, FE13

Probably qualifies as a fandom heresy, but yes I’m putting Fates first of these two. Fates is in every conceivable way for me the “You Tried” game, because I had such high hopes for it from the moment we got the earliest promotional content. I was expecting a World of Warcraft-style conflict between two morally grey factions with myriad convoluted grievances against each other messily resolving themselves one way or the other according to player choice (though note that this is already somewhat damning with faint praise as no one’s going to call WoW a storytelling masterpiece), with Conquest in particular a true villain campaign that I imagined might play out as European Imperialism: The Game. What we actually got was…not that, not at all, but amid all the complaints about plot holes and idiot balls and moral myopia most fans seem to have forgotten just how much there is to this game. It’s three full stories that together average out to be just about passable, with possibly the biggest gameplay variety in the series that fixed most of Awakening’s more broken elements (pair-up, children being unquestionably superior to the first generation) while also adding in new features that undoubtedly appealed to someone or other like Phoenix mode and the castle-building aspect. I can even mostly forgive the obvious growing pains Fates exhibits in terms of queer content, as they were pretty much inevitable once the developers realized that (almost) everyone was picking up on the subtext and that that approach just wasn’t going to cut it anymore. Again, they tried, and if the results included face-touching fanservice and plot contrivances left and right and two-way cultural posturing that inevitably crosses over into real world racism at some point I can still step back for a moment and acknowledge that Fates began as a distinctive, high-concept setting on par with Tellius and Jugdral that was willing to do something different with the narrative norm (for two of its routes at least, and even so I’m not begrudging Birthright its conventionality because that grounding is important overall). And who knows? Maybe a later game will come along and retroactively make this setting coherent.

Fates might have more sexual fanservice, but if there’s any FE that I feel ends up a slave to fanservice in a broader sense it would be Awakening. Yeah, I get that when it was in development everyone thought this would be the final game, so it makes sense that the finished product turned out to be a nostalgia-laden greatest hits piece. It’s still hard to forgive Awakening for feeling so insubstantial, doubly so since it ended up revitalizing the franchise and now it and Fates are everywhere. It’s got a plot that only makes some sense in light of SoV and possibly on a meta level (following my theory that the plot structure is meant to mirror FE1-3 in sequence), the first iteration of an Avatar dating game heavily coloring the characterization and support system, and a queasily feel-good atmosphere that allows almost no character to actually remain dead and centers everything around the self-insert and the power of friendship. So much for the series’s traditionally dim view of human nature and recurring theme of the inevitability of conflict. What’s more, in spite of its theoretically broad scope (including a criminally under-explored time travel plot with a bad future) and numerous call-backs to older games Awakening does surprisingly little for developing the series’s most frequently-visited setting. I think it was in large part how generic this game has always felt to me even before release that I never got very hyped for it and as a consequence was never very disappointed by it. It’s just….there, with its nostalgia and its chronic “no homo” and its host of hilariously broken mechanics. I wonder if we’d have ended up viewing Awakening more favorably if it really had been the last game? Eh, probably not.

The “needs a remake or needs a better remake” Tier - FE5, FE6, FE3/12, FE1/11

I don’t have a specific order for these, except that FE1/11 is almost certainly the bottom since 5 and 6 have remake potential and, lack of localization aside, New Mystery was a better remake than Shadow Dragon.

I still haven’t fully played Thracia 776, but I’ve watched and read through Let’s Plays and have read more than enough analysis and meta on the game to where I can definitively say that I wouldn’t enjoy playing it too much and don’t feel all that emotionally connected to the story except insofar as it relates to the overall Jugdral saga. The concept of a standard FE plot that ends with the playable cast losing is an intriguing one, though they really could have done better than the weird non-ending that is this game’s final boss. I’m also not as invested in Leif the fallen aristocrat as I usually am those types of characters, possibly because it’s a foregone conclusion that he eventually gets his kingship anyway. I would like a remake, hopefully one that smooths over some of the original’s mechanical roughness and also makes a bunch of characters gay because the material’s certainly there in places, but I also admit that I’d rather have a remake of Genealogy first. Or, for that matter….

Binding Blade doesn’t have the potential for an amazing story-driven remake that Thracia does; after all, it’s basically a soft reboot of FE1 with an equally bland lord saved by his Super Smash Bros. fanbase and possibly his weirdly large harem. That said, there’s a fair amount of character potential and worldbuilding opportunities what with the series’s first true support system and the content of its unorthodox prequel. Even by itself I feel like BB does more to sell Elibe as its own distinctive world than any of Marth’s games ever did for Archanea, and that’s even with the reality that like the Archanea games this playable cast is inflated with some really forgettable characters (that seem to have followed a semi-rigid numerical quota by class in this instance. It’s weird.). This game never really stuck in my mind as a good playable experience either, not helped by the fact that it feels simple and antiquated compared not only to the GBA games that followed it but to the Jugdral games that preceded it. Good on them for throwing out some of Thracia’s more unwieldy mechanics, but did they have to throw out skills, hybrid classes, and varied chapter objectives too? The space limitations of the GBA couldn’t have been that severe.

While I’ve been spending much of this post ragging on Archanea, I will say that (New) Mystery of the Emblem has some interesting character beats, like the resolution of the Camus/Nyna/Hardin tragedy, Rickard and the situationally bisexual(?) Julian, and some of the antics of Marth’s retainers. I did like bits of the remake’s new assassin plot even if most of it is cribbed from the Black Fang; Eremiya’s no Sonia, but Clarisse and Katarina have their moments. Also, Kris isn’t that offensive to me since I was never all that engaged in Marth’s inconsistent personality and from what I’ve seen his/her supports don’t all devolve into a dating sim. New Mystery has a broader array of characters than either the original or the previous remake, without requiring the player to kill off characters just to get some of the new ones. That said, the reclassing in the DS games is still broken and allows the player to strip even more character out of their personality-deprived units. I’m getting to the point where I’m having trouble separating the two actually, so I’ll just go ahead and remark that I think everyone can agree that Shadow Dragon is the worst of the three remakes so far, with no supports, the aforementioned killing of units, a prologue that adds to the story but only exists on Normal mode and also requires you to kill someone off (seriously, what is it with this game? Is it commentary on the necessary sacrifices of war that they tried forcing on the player for one game until they realized it was a terrible idea?), the needless removal of features from earlier games like rescuing even as others like weapon ranks and forging were left in, that first clumsy iteration of reclassing, and little to nothing that I can see as elevating the story above the standard fantasy adventure fare of Dark Dragon and the Sword of Light that might have been good in 1990 but didn’t look so hot in 2008. Archanea just feels so lifeless overall compared to every other setting in the franchise, to the point where I don’t even feel that guilty about putting the first game in the series way down at the bottom when over in the Zelda ranking I raised the NES games above ones I found more fun to play solely because of their historical significance. Isn’t FE1 arguably the first tactical RPG? I feel like I should appreciate it more, but I just can’t. *shrugs*

[ts-akhmim]

Episode 1 | Part. 1 “Can I Kick the Tomb?”- Kendall

Me before Day 1 of Hosts: “I really am excited to be back and playing my official last season of Tumblr Survivor (and ORG) ever.” *40 SEASONS LATER*

https://66.media.tumblr.com/9abe7e9a250f88588980b89fdbc5bd6f/tumblr_pj4lahOlsg1s34uqa_400.gifv

I’m back for another shot and I’m thrilled to see where this goes! It’s been three years since I last played an ORG so I can’t wait to see how much Tumblr Survivor has changed. And who knows, maybe I’ll be lucky this time around. The main thing I’m looking to accomplish this time around is that I have fun! I feel like I took my previous seasons way too seriously (what can I say, I’m competitive) and I feel like that clouded my judgement. I mean, I’d like to win too!! But I want to be able to enjoy myself and make friendships that last a long time outside of this game. Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, I am currently at home as an unemployed college graduate. So, I feel like this is the perfect time for me to get back into the Tumblr Survivor community and get another shot at an ORG before my life gets busy again. In the past, ORGs have really conflicted with my work/life structure. That’s mainly why I said I’d never do orgs again, because I hated having internal mental breakdowns in public. I didn’t think I’d give it another go around, but now that I don’t have work/school to focus on. And since I have no idea how long this pandemic will last, might as well find ways to occupy my time through ORGs. I feel like I have done almost everything one can do on Tumblr Survivor… except win. Here is a quick summary of the games I played previously to help me reflect on what I can improve upon this time around. First time around, I was a mid-merge boot in Maluku after I was exposed for flipping on the fans and lost everyone’s trust. In Newfoundland, I was sapphire idoled out as an early merge boot for being in charge of the dominant alliance. In Ancient Greece, I was a 4th place robbed goddess after literally controlling the whole game and cut loose by my alliance right before FTC. And in Hosts, I flipped on my OG alliance after finding out people in the alliance wanted me out and got runner-up. So I hope that I can change things around this season and HOPEFULLY win (I’ll cry if I’m a pre-merge boot). My strategy going into this game is just to get to know people on a human level and allow them to think I’m someone who will follow commands/take orders. I don’t want to be the person deciding who goes home, but I want people to feel comfortable talking their every game move with me. Perception is key for this game, so if my allies think they can drag me to the end I’m going to let them think that. I’m hoping with that perception, I can be a subtle move maker this season. Almost as if no one sees me coming for them. I find that my fault in previous seasons is that I either put myself in the leadership role, or I’m too far in the bottom that I’m criticized for all decisions I make. I’m hoping that I have trust for those who are in the alliance within the alliance so that we can eventually overthrow whoever the person in charge is. For now, I just want to socialize and get to know people and hope that by increasing the social game the strategy will all fall into place. One thing that does scare me going into this season is possible pre-existing relationships. I’ve been out of Tumblr Survivor for the past three years and honestly have no idea what happened in previous seasons. I also don’t really keep up with anyone in the community either, so I’m going in with almost zero connections. This could be a good thing or a bad thing. The good thing is that it allows me to form genuine relationships with them, and I can ensure to my alliance that I’m 100% loyal to them going forward. Numbers are important, so if my tribe sees me as a number it would indicate. The bad thing is that if people know each other, then they could easily get me out if they choose to do so. Especially if they know my reputation as a “flipper” and think I won’t be trustworthy going into a merge/endgame. So I’m hoping that if I have a strong presence on night 1 that I can be included in the alliances and get my way into the majority. Because the last thing I’d want is to be Ethan Zohn’d out of the game. Waiting all this time just to be pre merge would be TRAGIC. Overall, I’ve grown over the past three years and I hope that I can reflect that onto this season. Since I last played an ORG, I came out to everyone through social media and I’ve been able to increase my self-confidence. Last time I played I just finished my freshmen year of college. Now, I’m graduating and going to attend graduate school to get my masters degree. I feel like I’ve grown and matured as a person, so I’m going into this season almost as a completely different person. There’s no holding myself back from anyone and I know that at the end of the day, I’m just here to have fun. So I’m ready for this big adventure that’s ahead of me, because I’m hoping to finish my last ORG (forreal) on a high note!

okay so the season hasn't even started yet and in a shock to nobody i'm already cracked out of my mind? i have fully been spiralling and researching who could possibly also be in the cast based on their avatars? i'm not gonna embarrass myself and put who i have predicted because whenever i put that in a confessional im always wrong without fail? anyway so thought i'd put what my plan is here SO when i completely do not follow this i can look back at myself for being a clown? BUT anyway this season coming back as a winner is very, very scary. it looks like i am going to be the only winner on my tribe, and one of only three winners in the entire game which is very very scary. also last season i was able to kind of operate from a position of being super underestimated? like nobody had eyes on me and that allowed me to get away with murder, and this season i need to play with a consistent awareness that people will... know what shenanigans i'm pulling and always will be tentative to let me play unrestricted. also i am so happy about being on the brawn tribe - that is SUCH a good landing spot for me. i would hate to be a winner put on a tribe for social ability (beauty), or strategic ability (brain)... it also means hopefully i could be in a tribe with less social people who are just challenge beasts, so as long as i am pulling my weight in challenges hopefully can wriggle my way in? the avatars on my tribe are real hard to place, two are not players i even recognise and from looking at the wiki - my only guess is someone called jake from generations is na'onka? just because he is also on the record page for immunity wins... so we will see? i'm just very very worried that i'm going to become alienated for being a former winner but i really. really hope that's not the case! in general... my aim is to just make jury, there are gonna be like no winners in this cast and there are going to be such eyes on me accordingly, so i need to play much more round by round, with a survival mentality? this season is gonna be a disaster for me but we will see how it goes NNNN.

I’m back… somehow! It’s kinda crazy how this is my sixth season of Tumblr Survivor (and my first TS game in like almost two years) but I was just wanting to play. I’ve done just about everything you can do in TS (leave premerge, participate in a Redemption Island duel, be a tribe swap captain, win individual immunity, have an idol, have a double vote, go home with an advantage, be the last person from your original tribe, leave in a rock draw, negate votes with an idol, and make it to the end)... except win, I haven’t quite been able to do that just yet! However, that is all gonna change in Akhmim and I’m sending that in stone. (watch me be a clown and leave first gfbndms). I don’t know, I just really want to prove myself as a capable player yknow? Ultimately, I’m here to look cute, chew bubblegum and kick ass. (‘:

Oh my god, synapses are firing all throughout my brain right now. I didn't prepare myself well enough for this season, but...I have friends here! LMAO! Jordan and Liam L are two people I know very well, I've seen Jakey around on FB, and I've spotted Ali on Discord! I'm hoping I can just integrate myself well enough cause there's a lot happening for me right now...

So I’m on Hathor which is the Beauty Tribe which… does not surprise me at all really? Not saying that I’m pretty or anything but I got 2 brain cells and suck at challenges so being a Beauty was my only option oop. That being said, looking at my Tumblr Survivor ~career~, I’ve only gotten 7 votes (only 5 that count) in the last 3 seasons that I played where I got 6th, 12th, and 2nd place SO that must mean I’m doing something right to be in people’s good graces? With that in mind, I want to be the Belle of the Ball and be the cutest beauty here so people wanna love me, protect me, and work with me <3

Jess, 6:51 PM Unfortunately, you have not entered the Tomb.. 6:52 PM Can I kick the Tomb? Alyssa, 6:52 PM you can 6:52 PM I kick the tomb Alyssa, 6:52 PM Unfortunately you have not entered the tomb

oh gorl. i cant believe it ladies and gays we're BACK BACK BACK AGAIN.... thanks coronavirus for completely putting my life on pause making me unemployed and able to have the time to do this again? No but on a serious note who in the hell would've guessed little old me coming back out HOPEFULLY one last time, and my mission this time is quite simple. WIN ALREADY BITCH. ITS ABOUT TIME, ITS ENOUGH, WE'RE TIRED. This will officially be my third time playing tumblr survivor, so lemme try and give yall a quick recap just so everyone knows a little bit about me. My very first time playing, I was an extremely young and naive 17 year old who was COMPLETELY tripping, yet it somehow worked for me and I made it to day 39 in og egypt. However, I didnt get a damn vote so that's when I first realized maybe I got some growing to do.... Fast forward to 2 years later, i was 19, moved out of my parents house, living on my own, so a little bit of character development on my own part, and it reflected in my game so much. I was learning from my mistakes and it got to a point where...i legitimately had a shot to win!! I was being smart and strategic, but, I made one mistake that cost me everything when I was so close, top 5, not too bad. 3 years later, and here we are. I'm still living on my own, im no longer that ugly ducking baby adam but now im slowly on my path to mother goose moment! im in a place in my life where im not only physically feeling myself, but I now know who I really am. With age comes wisdom and another chance at tumblr survivor!! Being this is my 3rd time I absolutely want to go all out. I want to WIN. Im so ready, especially on a season like this, brains vs. braun vs. beauty, one of my favorite twists especially because beauty just means so much to me. Not even in like a vain way honestly, like yeah i know im a bad bitch i know im a cutie physically but to me being a beauty is being able to really have a sense of CHARM about you and being able to get whatever you want with it Looking back at my games in tumblr survivor, and in life in general, i usually get my way with the help of my big mouth. I'm absolutely not the best in the challenges, and i might not always be the one who's able to come up with a big plan, but one thing about me thats for sure is im always one to find my way in the know somehow. In both my seasons I played with a very similar approach, first i assess my tribe and everyone in the game and see how workable i feel with people, and from there on i start building relationships. It's like gardening, you find the people you connect the most with, and build from there, and the ones i dont, i simply wont waste my time with and theyll be the ones i vote out, but ultimately as long as it aint me, then oop sorry to these people not me already writing a whole book and i havent even started talking about anyone but MYSELF YET DSFFHJKAFH.....im so sorry @hosts pls forgive me i warned yall i go on and on but ANYWHO ill try to wrap this up. Basically, im in love with my tribe right now, ive obviously talked to everyone and been having really good conversations with Augusto and Kendall. I really like them and could definitely see myself aligning with them. But aside from them I was honestly GAGGED AND GOOPED to see some familiar faces even on this TRIBE. AMIR is someone who i know from way back when in my tumblr candicestewart days when i was raising hell, we were mutuals but havent spoken since so years really, however in a game like this you can take the tiniest bit of association and use it as a groundwork for trust, so stay tuned for that...also AJ?????? me and him have spoken every now and then through various communities we fall into so thats another interesting dynamic, im not sure how anyone feels about me but im hoping they just like me enough not to be the first boot... Also im really glad there doesnt seem to be a lot of juggernaut type players here, my last season was challengers vs. champions so there was a LOT going on with 10 winners and 10 challenger, but speaking of that season i almost forgot to mention JAKE???? JAKE IS BACK TOO???? this.....could be really bad for me. For those who dont know, in cvc, me/jake/jessy had an iconic alliance because of our ~herstory together which stems back to us all being 14/15, and yeah i worked with them for as long as i could, but jake basically ran a cult on challengers vs champions which obviously i wasnt a target as long as i had them as shields by my side so we worked well together, until final 6 that is when i made my move and my vote was the reason jake went home. My whole season people kept saying adam just wants to sleep and play their game, when the truth was, im no dummy, i always knew id have to turn on them, it was just about waiting for the right moment and thats what i did, and if i could go back, id do it again! However, this is a completely new game so to me its a do over, i hope he doesnt have any baggage against me but i guess we'll just have to wait and see if we ever make it on the same tribe even, but i know he's just as good as me so i think we'll see each other again real soon.. this is my 3rd time playing, ive had a good cirie run but i do NOT want to be hvv'd cirie'd whatsoever. and thats kinda my fear coming back, I wanna be able to keep playing lowkey and having people underestimate me for as long as i possibly can, because guess what thats what works every time, these people are such fools they fall for it over and over again! they absolutely should beware of me because im here, and im in it, and i will absolutely lie cheat etc to just about anyone if it means getting me farther. ive got plenty of friends, im here for my virtual crown anywho. first book over with. i swear this was only so long because i was taking about myself too much, wont be as bad next time! well lemme not be delusional i do love talking about myself but xoxo thats it for now time to go back to having conversations and praying if we lose this challenge im not first boot

also getting to (hopefully) play with autumn again? the egyptian gods are good to me 

So I’m making my Day 1 confessional mainly so that I hit the 500-word requirement for the first challenge. Tumblr Survivor is different than when I last played 3 years ago. I hope I don’t come across as doing TOO MUCH but I’ve already started on the challenge and I’m trying to spend the first few days socializing and getting to know people. My goal is to have people come to me with alliances because it shows to me that they want to work with me. If I lay the foundation for the alliances, then I get the image that I’m running things. And I want other people to fill those shoes so that I can play an under the radar game. I feel like this is a group of people that I can stick with long term. I have a reputation for being a flipper, so I’m hoping that I can show to the Brains tribe that I plan to be loyal to these people long term in this game. But I also hope that I’m never put in a position where people want me to flip. Anyways, here’s my Day 1 analysis of my tribe: Trace – We played in Maluku together 6 years ago and I flipped on the fans the first tribal to vote him out. Granted, he got his revenge by making me the first boot of a versus side season, I hope he doesn’t try to seek vengeance now. So far I feel like we’re gonna be civil with one another. We talked about him and his boyfriend Matt, how he got a new dog just 3 days before quarantine, and how he recently moved to San Jose California. To me, it makes me think things are pretty civil between us. I could see Trace being a future leader of this tribe, so I hope that he goes about taking that role and makes the first move against people so I can work alongside him. Isaac – My history with Isaac is that I hosted Malaysia, and I feel like we’re on good terms. Which is nice because I don’t have to do the small talk with him and can just go right into the strategy. Sadly I don’t know him too well since he was voted out Day 6, but I felt bad that he was an early boot. The age difference between him and the other contestants played a role in it :/. But right now we’re hitting the ground running with things. We’re talking about my dog at the moment (which I intentionally changed my profile pic to her so that people would use it as conversation starters – we love strategic thinking!) Devon – I like Devon, but at the same time, I also see right through him. Devon’s trying to play a UTR game. I respect that, however, I’m trying to play a UTR game too. We had a brief call to solidify our allegiance to each other. He told me how he was loyal to Alyssa and Jess and they screwed him over big time during Guyana. So I’m seeing that he already has a plan to make sure that doesn’t happen. I want to keep him around because I could see the two of us being a dynamic duo going forward, similarly to Me/Matt in Maluku or Me/Andrew in Hosts. I need to make sure someone else calls the shots and brings me/devon in so we can plot against getting them out. Also, he’s really attractive and it saddens me that he’s straight so I now have to work on that. Autumn – a QUEEN!!! I love her! She’s iconic, she’s a legend, she’s never the same, she’s talented, she’s EVERYTHING! Considering that she’s one of 3 females on this cast, I hope that she and I can be the iconic male/female duo that I have every time I play. Similarly to Me/Maria in Maluku, Me/Lizard in Newfoundland, Me/Gerda in Ancient Greece, & Me/Jessy in Hosts. Right now we’re bonding over graduate school and the severity of the pandemic, so I hope that we can work together long term in the game because I love her. I also have to be careful with her because she’s won before. Duncan – I like Duncan so far too. We’ve played an org season together before I took my 3-year hiatus, but I don’t remember which one. And neither does he LOL. But so far we’ve just talked about psychology since we have a lot of respect for that field and how survivor is a huge social experiment. I’m hoping that he doesn’t see me as a major threat because of our intellectual talk. I like him so far, so hopefully, we can work together going forward. We’ve also talked about the types of dogs we both have and what we’ve been up to with our lives, which I like being able to get to know everyone. Bodhi – I messaged him saying “hi” and he ignored me, so I am comfortable with him being the first boot. However, I will need to have other people go and say they want him out so I can be like “cool let’s do it”. Maybe this will change tomorrow, we’ll see. But that’s where I’m at right now. Overall, I think I have a good fitting with the group. I don’t like that no one’s made an alliance chat yet, but I think my conversation with Devon confirms that I have allies going forward. Plus it's also Day 1, so no one wants to make that type of move yet. I’m hoping that by sticking with the social game for now that I can get people to like me and include me in alliances that they have. For now, I’m just gonna keep talking about my dog until that happens 😊

hey guys its me, again. I know i said I was done going on and on but now i have some tea! the tea is: IM PISSED. last time i played in challengers vs. champions i made it my prerogative to be the first one to find the hidden immunity idol, and so guess what for the last 4 1/2 hours ive been DECIPHERING and trying to figure out how to get it, first i spent 2 hours learning heiroglyphyics because my dumbass really thought it was hidden in plain sight right on our logo! until i realized it made no sense at all, but hey, good to know ill be able to find my way through an egyptian pyramid now if i ever need to! So i kept digging, a little deeper until i seen these little numbers on the blog under all the cast reveals, this was what told me i had just wasted my time with the heiroglyphs but that i was onto an actual lead now, so upon doing that, i was messaging both aj and amir discussing my theories with them because i figured if i didnt find it, i wouldnt mind them finding it....but i definitely just want it for myself first because cmon this is survivor and we havent even had any tribals yet, therefor sure ill let people THINK i trust them, but at the end of the day i only truly trust me, myself, and i. amir then helped me crack that the numbers on the blog actually spelled out the three gods names that our tribes are named after, so then about another hour goes by and i cant find NOTHING ive tried flipping the names, doing research into them, and got nowhere. until i realized, it was so simple, all i needed to do was look at MY tribes god, HATHOR, and then i took that name and coded it into numbers, which lead me to finding the idol trigger. Lemme tell yall how ecstatic I was to find it, it made all my work tonight completely worth it, or at least i thought until i tried entering the tomb and had to answer these questions to get in, and i got one wrong along the way..... I WAS SO CLOSEEEEEEEEEEE, THEN MY DUMBASS OVERTHOUGHT ONE OF THE EASIEST QUESTIONS AND BLEW IT. now i have to wait another 24 hours before trying again, which drives me crazy, i solved and cracked this puzzle within 4 hours, who's to say every other person on this tribe wont do the same? if someone finds it and gets it all right before i do, im gonna be so mad at myself but hey at least i tried, im gonna give myself kudos for figuring that shit out it was not easy!!! and i at least made what i would assume would be one of the first attempts at it, so anyone else who tries yall are copying me and trust you WILL hear from my lawyers!

i am not as upset to be back as i thought i would be! i don't hate the cast and theres only one person in the game that im not excited to see and ironically, its not jordan pines. I got stuck with a bunch of mayo boys at first but then you guys blessed me by bringing autumn into the tribe. THATS MY DAUGHTER AMERICA! i literally was the one to bring her into the community and never got to play with her, i think its crazy that after such a long hiatus from us both that the quarantine gifted me the chance to play with her. Hopefully i can last longer than 1 round to enjoy it lol. Also the boys aren't that bad! They're all really pleasant and enjoyable so far and i found out Trace used to live in STL so we're bonding on that! I'm hoping i can do well but ultimately I'm enjoying this tribe for what its worth but i just can't figure out what to do to go idol hunting haha.

To start, it’s important to acknowledge how good it feels to be back in TS. I wasn’t quite too sure what kind of cast to expect, considering most members from my original season, Guyana, would likely feel uneasy with me in the game. However, it looks like TJ is the only one from Guyana representing this season, which is great news for me. Even then, TJ and I got along great after the season ended, so he doesn’t worry me in the long run. My current tribe is clearly skilled in the social game, because everyone has been active beyond belief. Right now, I would describe my closest ally as Scott. He is a clear-cut threat, but has a lot more connections than I do and could be useful to me in the early stages of the game. We called for a bit last night, and continued to be around the bush about gameplay. However, if we ever lost a challenge, I feel like he’d run with whatever plan we come up with. In terms of my LEAST closest connection, I’d go with Bodhi. He’s a nice kid, but we just don’t relate and he can come across as arrogant at times. Scott has already mentioned him as a first boot, so I’ll likely stay clear of any game talk with Bodhi for the time being unless its pushed onto my lap. My biggest blessing/curse in this game will be the fact that I’ve played FAR less times than a majority of the players. Almost gives a ‘Russell Hantz’ vibe. Far less credibility entering a new season with experienced and well known players, but also means there is less material for them to know about when it comes to my game. As long as I don’t overplay my hand and let the game talk come to me, I could set myself up PERFECTLY on the Brains tribe. Autumn has been fairly quiet, but we talked a bit about television shows, which is great common ground to build on. It would be hard to classify her as a threat right now, but I wonder how much she has been talking to others. As for Isaac, he came in late to my DMs because of his work shift. We both work within food service, so it was nice to reflect on our work shifts and ask him about his interests. I think he’s capable of being someone worth working with, but no game talk has taken place between us. If we lose an upcoming challenge, I expect for that to change rather quickly. When it comes to Duncan, I’m not sure how to read him yet. He’s oddly active, and has likely been talking to everyone for an extensive period. I’d like to say I trust him, but I’m sure others feel a similar way. It will be difficult to pinpoint him as a threat to others, but we will see how things unfold based on the challenge trend. Finally, there was Trace. We held a steady conversation for a bit, but then he disappeared. Would likely make for an “inactive” boot if he doesn’t turn around his social game early, but things happen. Based on the number of times he has played already, it would be ideal to get rid of him within the first 3-5 rounds of the game.  

Here’s my cast assessment: Brains: Scott – This guy seems awesome. He seems smart, he seems well-spoken, he seems humble. I’m really excited to meet this guy down the line. Bodhi – All I know about him is he’s supposedly a crackhead and you should be careful around strategically… not sure how I’d fit in there. Trace – I like him! Funny, sassy, he and I totally need to meet! Devon – Fucking Slithers… Isaac – I’m hoping this isn’t the Isaac I fought with in a different game because this guy seems really funny and genuine. Duncan – What is he wearing? Autumn – She seems chill. I’d like to talk to her and get to know her some more. Beauties: Austin – He seems like a good southern boy, but I imagine there’s a diabolic side to him that the intro video doesn’t show. I’m gonna watch out for him. Adam – Another funny guy. He’s got a great personality and I could see making it far, but I also see him as someone that could get to self-involved and make a mistake down the line. Kendall – Ok, she’s cute and funny. Please let her be my new Lexi (and don’t let her be like Alyssa) Augusto – Seems like a good guy, but I’m not sure how our styles would mesh just based on his introduction Connor – Is this Zwooper Connor? Because like… hell yes!!! AJ – Not sure what to say here. Not much of an intro. But he seems interesting. Amir – I’m curious to see what this guy is like. I could see him being like someone I played with my first season which would be intriguing. Brawns: Dan – I’ve been hosted by Dan. I’ve played with Dan. I think he could be a great person to work with moving forward and I’m excited to reconnect with him. Liam M – He’s a funny guy from my interactions from him. He’s been quiet, but I’d imagine he’s not that quiet. TJ – Dumbass Liam L – I love Liam. We just finished another season together, so I could see us working well together Jakey – This guy is F-U-N-N-Y! I need him around. Jordan – Is this guy full of himself? Or like… how do you name a season after yourself? Ali – I like this guy. He’s going to be a social threat as a winner, so I’m gonna let him make himself a bigger threat.

okay so this is going to be my five hundred word confessional! My cast assessment is uploading so this is going to be a bit out of order but some updates. im now in an alliance with jordan and jake so life is GOOD. I love them both and they're both kinda chaotic and super fun which is super exciting! i also cracked the idol code with dennis yesterday in my host chat! my plan is to search again in three hours when i can, hopefully snag the idol and then tell my two lovelies so i can build trust. thats the goal anyway... in other news... trace from brain thinks he is SO slick. he edited his wiki to remove the fact that him and connor are friends like sir... the fact y'all hosted together is enough for people to be worried about you, you going all FBI level redacted is so stupid? it makes it look like MORE of a thing. anyway so if i can get my way one of connor or trace (or both im not picky) would go prejury... hehehehhe hmm wowie five hundred words is a lot more than i thought.... anyway so other thoughts lemme think... i think my game plan this season is something im going to stick to of gravitating towards the big personalities and threats. like i need cover as a winner with that said im very lucky that im probably the worst winner of the three? amir is literally one of the scariest ever and im terrified of him... and autumn i love her but she is more fun and strategic than me! like me landing on brawn is also great, because i'd rather be seen as brawny than strategic or social... god i really do not know how to fill up 500 words this is so tough not enough has happened yet hmmm... maybe i update my tribe thoughts... so Jake I LOVE, he is so much fun and i think we are gonna really really vibe... im excited hehehe. Jordan Pines is a legit legend, like he is gonna be SUCH a hoot i feel it... me jordan and jakey are literally gonna blow stuff up on this tribe and beyond im MANIFESTING it. others on my tribe... TJ is lovely! he talks so formally hehe its like our conversation is a script? like its human but its slightly rehearsed and weird its odd. British Liam I really like I really wanna stick with him but I am worried for him about being an easy vote? I wanna keep him safe tbh... then other Liam is ofc close to Jordan, which btw im SO glad jordan like addressed head on with me... im kinda fine with him sticking around now at this point... dan I love too! i think at this point my priorities are sticking with jake and jordan, while also protecting liam lovelis if he becomes a target because i really like him!! liam m first boot if jordan is fine with it, otherwise TJ...

I haven't done one of these yet and honestly, I am just gonna spill a little about my tribe? I like everyone a lot so far. I hope that we can win some challenges and stay safe for a while. I really like Ali, Jordan, and Jakey so far. But also, I know them from before this. Ali and I have never played together I don't think but we have always talked about wanting to. Jakey and I go waaaay back. He is actually from the same part of NY as me. We had a rocky relationship years ago but we have both come a really long way maturity wise. Then there is Mr. Jordan Pines. We always have good intentions and want to work with one another, but we always seem to start off on track, and then identify each other as threats and kill one another. He usually out places me so I want to keep an eye on him. As for the others, I'm really just trying to remain social, make those connections, but focus on the people that I know. I hate playing like that, but honestly, it might get me farther. As far as my strategy this game, I want to be super loyal to people. That's how I played my last game and it got me 2nd place. I know that I should be striving for first, but honestly second isn't too bad lmao. I think that what was missing from my last TS game was the glamour. The jury said they missed "big moves" and "idol plays". Well honey, let's do that then! I need to come up with a plan to incorporate those things into a strong social game. I just fear that I'll be damned if I do, and damned if I don't. My fear is that I will come up short with the moves and get second again, or I'll overplay and find myself gettin somewhere between 10th and 7th. I think a way I can get around this is not bringing all the people I trust into a big group. If i'm able to divide and conquer my allies, it will show loyalty, but also strategy. As far as the idols are concerned. Who the fuck knows. I can't get into this tomb, I can't figure anything out about it. I am searching high and low on the blog and pictures trying to find the key into the tomb. I have a feeling it is one of those things where you really need to put in some work to find it. Or it's one of those, it's under your nose the whole time and Jess, Alyssa, and Drew can't believe how stupid you all are. That is more likely the true answer to this haha. I have been asking Ali and Jordan about what they think, and they have basically "come up short" I don't know if that is really true or not, I know that they are really smart players. I think the key could also be in the posts as far as the hashtags. There are some really weird hashtags on some of the posts. Maybe it's a code or something? Lemme look into that.

Soooooo first day was super exciting bc my whole tribe is new ppl which I like bc it's always good to start in a fresh type game ya know. I'm on the beauty tribe werdily so I figure I'm the tai of the season . I also saw on one of the other tribes liam from my season is here so that could be a good or bad thing just have to cross that bridge if and when needed. First person I saw and talked to on my tribe is kendell and I really like her vibe . She seems super chill and I saw she played as a hero is a past season so could be a loyal player. Amiry I actually have seen before in a mini on discord. We didn't talk much but l dis vote him to win in the end so that could be good in my favor . Aj is really nice to seems to be a lil younger then but good to chat with so far. Adam is someone in the game that i have a few things in common with which is great bc connections is exactly what I need to make right now with a game full of new ppl .connor I'm not fully sure how i feel about him yet. He seems like he could be funny but he is always a lil short when we talk and I feel maybe he could be the person to go and i would be okay with it . Augusto is def the person I have probably been talking the most with so far . He seems like he could be my person in this game . I mean things change all the time but as of now that's how I'm feeling about him . I'm so nervous being back in tumblr survivor so soon after my first season in nighingale islands. I got 4th place and if anything I wanna do better now worse . Its alot to hold myself up to but i feel i can push my self more this game and do it . I'm hoping to try and play a lil different this time around . I wanna be bolder and try to do more with myself game wise . I want to play more strategic and not care even more to get my hands dirty. People in the past have called me cutthroat and a villain so why not be the best villain I can be . Finding a idol or advantage and getting a vote at ftc is the other goals I have for myself this season . I know its early but I have a great feeling about the beauty tribe and think we are gonna do great in this game together. Well that's about 500 for the challenge . Hopefully you'll get more confessionals from me in the game . Its gonna be a crazy season . May the tumblr survivor gods be with me in this crazy ass game . Peace out girl scouts . Have a great day . Goodbye all.  

FIRST IMPRESSIONS: BEAUTY TRIBE austin: hes boring but nice and that is okay, just be who u are adam: dangerous, mariah stans dont respect old people, animals or the dead. he scares me. hes real funny tho, kendall: she is so cute, she seems very hesitant to talk to me, but I want to work with her. Shes the only girl on our tribe so like shes not gonna be targetted by a bunch of twinks so its better to be with her than against her augusto: my fav so far, Relatable sweet idk i love him i hope he gives me a chance connor: white gay twink aj: i dont feel Cast Assessment : Winners Ali: my biggest threat in this game by far, kind, can be ruthless, underestimated, he’s gotta GO but I also have to work with him ?? Idk I want to work with him but I don’t think he will want to work with me so idk how I feel about that one yet. Autumn: she is extremely likable from this one intro vid alone...girl we in danger. Want to work with her for sure. 

I want to build a relationship with every member of my tribe, but I am afraid because that could make me a target when I’m already one. Today, I will talk to everyone but not about game at all, tmmrw I will select 1 or 2 people to really trust with game stuff. The goal is to be social but not the most social person on the tribe. I need to get at least 2 or 3 of these people to feel some kind of emotional attachment to me, so I’m gonna keep it strictly personal convos for tonight. I do usually get attached to people as well but this game, being back for the third time, I can’t hesitate to cut a single person. It’s clear some of the people on this tribe are wolves in sheep’s clothing, mainly Adam and Augusto who are lovable and sweet but careful with their words. They are level 3 thinkers (shoutout to jacob). Kendall, Aj, and Connor seem to be more like level 2 thinkers. Austin seems like a level 1 thinker so I have to work with him, those are the kind of allies I need. 

Adam gave the numbers the for this thing, but I told him to use a decoder to turn it into letters. I know I’m an asshole cuz he tried to help me and gave me the clues but I am not going to tell him how to find the tomb, simply because I want it, but I wouldn’t be shocked if he figured it out

Also Amir....

So on my tribe, Kendall has played with aj, Aj has played with Kendall and and Connor, and Connor has played with aj and augusto.Kendall and Aj were never on the same tribe, so that’s not a threat. Augusto and Connor both made it far together and didn’t vote each other out so that’s gotta be something to watch out for. Kendall seems super well connected in general, I think the move is to scoop up Austin and Adam and then take out on of the other 4 but if the 4 of Kendall/Aj/Connor/Augusto end up aligning, well, good luck Charlie! So basically my issue is that I don’t trust anyone. Like everyone on this tribe is either distant or a threat, and the thing is is I HAVE TO TRUST SOMEONE so like?? If I just keep my cards close and not talk game with anyone that’s just ensuring being on the outs, but I can’t choose weather to align with the social threats or the people who I barely know anything about because they don’t wanna talk to me much (Kendall Connor Austin aj) Meeee finks the move is to align with Augusto and Adam, they’re both obviously huge threats, but risks need to be taken so I’m going to work on establishing a game relationship with both of them, I trust Adam more than Augusto, and then we can maybe maybe pull in Austin ? Okay literally no one wants to talk to me i i i i, like no one on this tribe messaged me first except augusto, but hes very hesitant about any info in general. Kendall/austin/connor all do not seem to care to try and talk to me so only 2 things are possible, they have all aligned and are planning my downfall, or people r inactive for now but idk. IDK> i do not trust ANY OF THESE HOES ONE BIT, i have to find this fat ass idol tonight i must i must Im gonna get on a call with adam tonight and try and figure some shit out but homeboy literally told me that he took out jakey in an earlier season even tho it was bad for him jsut cuz it was cool to take out a high profile player like sis what in the actual FUCK AND HES THE ONLY ONE WHO SEEMS INTERESTED IN ALIGNING WITH ME LIKE EWKFNEWKFLEWFE i have no choice but to work with this basket case, GOD WE CANNOT LOSE IMMUNITY WE CANNOTTTTTT the people from the other tribes that I would like to work with the most would be jakey and duncan and bodhi. I really wanted to work with bodhi on cutthroat and I genuinely love duncan he is a sweet heart through and through. I wanna work with jakey because he is a massive threat and has bad blood with people who are in thi game. He can also be volatile and someone I can turn into a target ahead of me if it I required 

guess who just got an IDOL HEHEEHEHE. It's Pharaoh Thoth. It's Pharaoh Thoth. I must have said that literally six hundred times in my host chat, the fact that Thoth is a tribe name was legit staring me in the FACE i'm just stupid. and then i messed up on question 9 at 5AM yesterday so i had to stay up till 5am for a second day running which was soul crushing but.... i have an IDOL. I definitely did much more work this time, compared to last time where benj carried my lifeless corpse across the idol bridge only for me to get two separate idols. dennis definitely had to like defibrillate my brain cells into shape but im proud of the work i put in. having an idol is definitely super scary because the risk of going home with one in my pocket is super super high... but.... hopefully I can use this idol to cause havoc and shake some stuff up. it also covers me for a bad tribe swap which is a situation i really see happening this season for me... it just gives me some cover and some wiggle room! im really excited overall tho... ive already snatched myself up an idol and its only day two? ive got an alliance with my two favourites on the tribe, good connections fostering with all the others on my tribe and an idol... which by the way i'm calling dennis im so excited this season is gonna be hoot... also one more time for good measure ITS PHARAOH THOTH.

Alright! I'm so very excited to be back for Tumblr Survivor Brain vs Brawn vs Beauty! So far I'm really enjoying my tribe even though I was cast as a Brain??? What's up with that?? I'm just some hippie from the swamps of Tennessee who is decent at doing long division. So I guess I'll go through my tribe and talk about them individually: Autumn seems pretty cool, I know she is a gigantic social threat so she could maybe potentially be utilized as a shield but I like her! We've been talking a lot about food and the south but that is okay. Bodhi approached me Night One offering an alliance to which I was ecstatic to take him up on! Bodhi is a very very smart and cunning player, which makes me even happier to be working with him because I think as of right now he needs me to get off of this tribe. Duncan is a wildcard in my eyes. I haven't played with Duncan since Pacific Islands and we didn't get along if I recall correctly and I seem to be having trouble creating a dialogue with him? According to other sources that seems to be a consensus. Devon is really nice and I think that Scott thinks he's attractive but that's neither here nor there. I think this is the Devon who went by Slithers in Guyana and referred to Alyssa, Dani, and Jess as females at Final Tribal Council. He seems to be EXTREMELY straight (he said when he's not slinging 'rittos at Chipotle he's playing Call of Duty or watching sports) which is okay if straight people weren't my kiss of death in these games. Scott is a really fun one! He hosted me in Malaysia and always seemed to be a sweet guy and our talks together for the past few days have kinda proved that assumption? We've gotten to know each other pretty well and I think he's a cool dude. I really also didn't wanna be the one to tell him about Amanda Lynn but I was and he joined in on the jokes like a champion! I really think my relationship with Scott could be something that carries me at least to the first swap? Trace is an enigma to me. We have played Tumblr Survivor now 3 times together (he voted me out every time) and he hosted me in Manhattan Beach and I genuinely think in these first two days we have talked more than the rest of those combined? He is a masc for masc dreamboat though but he knows that. If I have to stroke his ego to get where I need to be I genuinely have no problem doing that. I have been trying my best to get in everyone's good graces and/or at least get a dialogue going with them and it seems to have been working? The suckiest part about this tribe at the moment is that there doesn't seem to be an obvious inactive or someone we can scapegoat but here's hoping we don't lose or we lose bad enough we can put it on someone who isn't me. 

i cant believe i learned a tik tok dance. i've never even downloaded tik tok before

this is a RANT confessional it's day 2 and im already so annoyed with this DUMB BITCH...and yes i am the dumb bitch in question WHAT ABOUT IT DAY 2 AND I GO TO THE TOMB AGAIN TRYING TO GET IN, AT THIS POINT IM POUNDING ON THOSE DOORS HARDER THAN ANY JEHOVAHS WITNESS YOUVE EVER SEEN LIKE LET ME IN PLEASE!!!!! and once again, i start off good on the questions, then BOOM i just flop out of no where. story of my life. like DAMN by the time i do get in there's going to be nothing left for me but a fucking stick. But its ok, last night you know what i got cocky and i honestly mightve blown it thinking i could find it myself, so i was forced to make a VERY risky move. im a FIRM believer in loose lips sink ships and thats always one of my biggest strategies when i play survivor is to use infomation and keep as much to myself as possible so i can play my game how EYE want and make MY moves as i see fit, however.....clearly that strategy has not WORKED for me seeing as ive lost twice, so im trying this new thing, its such a crazy concept it's called asking for fucking help ! this was really hard for me to do because of my whole tribe so far im gonna be honest i feel like i have a genuine bond building with AJ, Augusto, and Amir, but i dont want to go spilling the tea on the idol to everyone, the last thing i want is everyone else figuring out and trying to get it, granted, finding it probably wasnt that hard and im just a dumb bitch so someone else most likely ALREADY has it, however, if they dont.... i decided i wanted to make a move and tell AJ about it. Me and AJ have a past connection thats pretty good so basing it on that alone i decided to share my tea with him, and honestly i LOVE augusto and amir too, however.... these people are all silent killers, they wont be fooling me. even though i want to believe theyre on my side, im gonna need a vote before i start to put trust like that into them. So until them, im putting my eggs in AJ's basket and hoping he finds something and will trust me moving forward because of it, even if he already found it himself and didnt tell me, i at least made the effort to show him i want us to be in this together, so hopefully trusting and opening up a little bit more will finally improve my game but if not i am still hoping absolutely no one finds it so i can be greedy and try again, and probably flop again tomorrow. **BREAKING NEWS ALERT: aj has just informed me he DIDNT find it, which he could be lying but i dont think he is, but only another 24 hours will tell... 

I have not written a confessional in a day, why am I like this? Anyway, y’all are about to hear EVERYTHING! We all get onto the beach and the gag is that 3 winners join the game alongside us losers (;-;) but honestly, it isn’t too bad? Like genuinely, it’s cool that the winners get to return like yay for them! Not only that, but if people believe these winners to be a threat then that’s just a shield for me so I am not mad at that whatsoever! Looking at the cast this season… I see familiar faces and I’m not sure how to feel? I know Dan who is on the Brawn Tribe (Apis) and I adore Dan as a person. That being said, I had a lot to do with his boot in Seychelles and while we were working closely together, I had to get him out. My thing about games is that if it’s a new game, it’s a new slate. However, is he gonna feel the same way? Only time will tell. On the Brain Tribe (Thoth), I have played with Isaac, Trace, and Bodhi. My relationship with Isaac is inch resting because I think he’s amazing and he has actually hosted me before… but the only thing is that we voted for each other to go in Socotra so who knows how he feels about me in that way? Trace I know because of Socotra as well and we did click socially but we just never had much of a chance to play with one another so there isn’t much to say about that. Now Bodhi…. He is the person I am the closest to out of all these people and I do not know how that will affect this game? I was the only person to stick by his side during the first round of Socotra when he went home in a revote and in a way, this was good karma because I was the only Great Lakes representative still alive after Final 21. Now will he remember my loyalty and admiration for him if we are reunited in this game? Girl, I deadass have no idea and it could go anyway… which is scary like a yikes on bikes moment right there. The only person that I know on my tribe is Connor since we played in Socotra together. We weren’t TOO aligned but the round I left, him and I made an alliance with Samantha. However, this loyalty wasn’t tested much considering I got rocked out. However, a connection is a connection so pursuing that is something I am okay with. As far as my tribe goes, I really do like everyone! I am trying to be this super approachable person that people can laugh at and laugh with yknow? So I do hope it works in my favor in the long run because currently, everyone except AJ has expressed the fact that I am one of their favorite people to talk to on this tribe so yay for that!

Alright, so the first full day is over, we're nearing the end of the first challenge, and I think that I've positioned myself at least somewhat decently? I think I've learned from past seasons that the goal of this early stage is to make sure you're about right in the middle in terms of activity, socialness (which isn't a word, but everyone is going to know what I mean by it) and challenge performances. That way, nobody has reason to get rid of you before a tribe change(whether that's because people think you aren't going to be helpful in challenges moving forward or because you're too big of a threat and can't be allowed to make the next stage of the game) and will allow me to make some connections that will help me both now and later in the game. I think I'm implementing this well at the moment. I had a nice talk with both Dan and Jakey and I think both of them will look out for me early on, specifically for this first vote. Once that trust is established from voting, I think both of those will be very fruitful for me moving forward. Same with Ali and Liam L. Both of them have been talking to me a decent bit and I like the rapport that I'm creating with both of them, but these two are going to be HUGE threats this season, I can already tell. So I think it's best I get on their good sides and allow other people to catch on to the fact that these two are going to be people who need to go whenever you get the shot (specifically though when they stop benefiting me). This first challenge absolutely sucks! I always hate these stupid scavenger hunts and will be so glad when it's over. I think I've put in a decent amount of work that will show that I'm here and want to play, but we'll have to see after the challenge is revealed how my score is really going to stack up. I really don't want to go to tribal this first round, but I could see either Jordan or Liam M. being people who could be targeted for everyone else to not be the first boot if that's the case. I think Liam specifically hasn't spent as much time socializing and I think others hopefully know how large of a presence Jordan has (I've known him for two days and I figured this out). So like, it would make sense to take one of them out early, but I reiterate that I'm quite ok not going to tribal here and just being safe. Being back for my third time means that this truly needs to be the one where I can take home this win. I admittedly don't know if there will be a fourth shot for me. I think I'm nearing the end of my ORG playing as hard of a realization as that is for me, but I know that I'm not able to commit the same way I was when I was back in high school, so I need to make the most of this time out there. I made huge mistakes in my redemption season that still haunt me to this day, so hopefully I can fix those this time around, play a strong, strategically sound game, and maybe I can surprise myself this time around.

All right 500 word confessional coming up. Time to say my thoughts on this game so far and this is a good excuse to do it. Its been 65 seasons since i've done an all returnee season which is a crazy fact I won't shut up about even though drew hates it, and I’m feeling good so far on this brawn tribe. I already have an alliance with me Ali and Jakey, and strong bonds to Dan and Liam, that leaves Lovelis and TJ my new people I'm meeting and probably people i'd target if we lost just due to the fact I don’t really know them. Out of the two I’m probably having better early convos with TJ but I don’t think thats really indicative of anything as its just been 2 days and anything can still happen. Honestly this cast is kind of a mix and match of crazy throwbacks for me like y'all got me SCOTT, y'all got me KENDALL, like I am floored and I am so excited to play with some of these people. I think my strategy for the starting tribes is to try to chill a bit and not be the centre of attention if I can manage that. Ideally I just want some easy rounds where we mostly win immunity, but if I’m honest Im gonna want to go to at least one tribal before we swap, and i don’t want to go into a swap not knowing how people are actually planning on playing, I want a chance for everyones cards to be laid out early, and then I can better understand the playing field. Okay I'm running out of things to say and I still got like 200 words to go. Alright the tomb, FUCK THE TOMB, its crazy for me that theirs an idol system I just haven't auto figured out before anyone else, its very out of character. Especially that before this game started I found the legacy advantage and left the hosts shook, like they were actually speechless the game hadn't started yet and I already have a power that was a great moment. But the tomb has still alluded me. What I know is that their are numbers on the cast reveal posts and a weird in face in the picture but I cannot out two and two together to make this work. Im hoping everyone is struggling as much as I am because I don't want any powers on the table that I do not know about. I want ideally to know where everything is even if its not in my possesion. Knowledge is power and I want all the knowledge possible to give me the best upper hand. Im cautiously optimistic on this starting tribe that I don't think people will target me early, so I think all I got to do is just secure my relationships and make sure that when this game starts getting crazy, i got enough people feeding me info so I'm in control. WHEW 500 WORDS DONE!

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1CxQVVsZUxRnM6PtiAIKKX2ncbSa-2rOR/view?usp=sharing Look man I am exhausted if you want intensive strategy you have come to the wrong place

Truthfully, the biggest gag of this whole season is me being placed on the brain tribe. I obviously am brilliant, graduated from honors from a top university, etc. But like, my beauty is undeniable, no? God I hate that I wrote that but, I AM BACK! It feels good to be back on a season where like nobody seems that negative? Yet? It was really refreshing to see a couple of people that I already knew, but I honestly have a really good feeling about this brains tribe. I connected really well with everyone on the first day, and I feel like I already have a strong standing in the tribe just after a few hours. I also love that this tribe is only 7 people and not like 12 because I can actually connect with people on a closer level. That being said, another great thing about this cast is that I also have a good amount of friends on the other tribes. Connor is here. I love that for me, but I am going to have to be very strategic about how I use that friendship if our paths ever do cross because I am not going to let it get in the way of me being strategic and making moves that actually make sense for my game in the long run, not just to appease my friend. A similar thing could be said for Dan D, but he is also just like a scary good player and he’s engaged now too so I have to really work on that friendship. I am feeling somewhat good about this challenge. I have taken the time to really try and do as many of the things as I can, and all I can hope is that my tribemates do the same. I am a little nervous about some people’s scores… Autumn. We have less than 12 hours to go and she still hasn’t started. But I am hoping that some of the scores of the more active people will carry us to a win. It would be cute if I could avoid tribal for a bit, but I know I won’t be able to. Also, Isaac being here is funny. Immediately he came to me and was like, “god I hope you aren’t going to vote me out this time, AGAIN.” And I obviously would really love to work with the kid but clearly our history is a bit rocky. So my plan is just to be kind and kind of act like it didn’t happen in hopes that he too will do the same and we can actually work together as friends this time. In closing, I appreciate the opportunity to be brought back, and I really hope that I do not let any of my fans down! I am going to keep socializing, using my social skills to create lasting bonds that will hopefully save me for a couple of tribals. We will see what happens as the season progresses but for now, please wish me luck!

Okay! I am awake! I can make a functional confessional maybe! So first hour of the game I made an alliance with Austin because I have no impulse control and hey thought it would be swell. I then made an alliance 30 minutes later with Augusto and I probably would have made more alliances if Augusto didn't say "Kendall plz wait like a day," So I did wait a day... and then made 2 more alliances 24 hours later. In my defense it wasn't my turn with The Beauty Tribe's communal brain cell and it's been 7 decades since my last game. Anyway I think it worked out because now we have a power alliance and we are Bringing Sexy Back! ... Literally that is the name of our alliance. Bringing Sexy Back. I came up with it and it's like a double meaning because 1. We Sexy and 2. We back. We do not have backs though... there was a tragic accident. Anyway the Core 4 is Me, Augusto, Connor, and Amir. And we keep saying shit like final 4 final 4 but I have to determine the weakest link before it hits me in the face. I don't trust Connor which is why it's important we work together, because I have a feeling he's going to cause damage either way and it will be safer if he thinks I trust him. He has played with Augusto and has a high opinion of him, so that duo is something I am somewhat worried about. I don't know why I don't trust him, it's not a matter of dislike, if anything he's one of my favorite people to talk to on the tribe it's just there is something calculating about him. Like he's sizing us all up. Augusto and I get along pretty well. He keeps saying shit like "Queen" and "We are meant for each other" and other weird but nice things. We both live in Utah so that's pretty lit. I'd like to work with him but I'm also wary of flattery. He seems to be pretty social with the other two as well, like I mentioned before he and Connor were once on the same season together and Amir mentioned that he's the person he talks to the most. It makes me a bit suspicious as to where his loyalties lie which is sort of dumb because he's like legally allowed to talk to people but I don't want him to be their number ones. It would be inconvenient. Amir is... a mess. A likable mess but a mess. He literally told me he has been waiting for someone to ask for an alliance and that he talks the most to Augusto. He wears his thoughts on his sleeves. He seems a bit nervous to be back, like we'd perceive him as some sort of threat because he was an extra player so to speak.... I don't not yet anyway but it's probably for the best I don't say that out loud. We talked about having a spare fifth and I put Austin on the table because 1. it would be nice to have control of a spare. 2. To keep my promise to him to work together. Sadly I wasn't all that subtle about it so... probably sketched the others out even if it was only a little bit. There 400 words plus other more words. Suck it and See bitches! And by bitches I mean hosts and I guess who ever else reads this.

Ok so I have full confidence that I can reach 500 words because I talk too much as it is so here we go hahaha. My tribe is taking this challenge super seriously and while I obviously stan and enjoy having a very active and engaged tribe, I need them to have lower expectations cause your girl is on her period and she just wants to nap. This whole “everyone needs to get 100 points” energy is not a message I can actually endorse. I am content with a smooth 50 points so if I get more than that great but I don’t need the pressure. I respect everyone’s right to go hard but I would like to not do that. Like it’s a Monday my guy- if that’s how you want to spend it by all means but this is not the only org I’m in and it’s definitely not the only thing I have to do today. I desperately need to do laundry but like changing the sheets on my bed and going to two Zoom meetings has me BEAT. Like I’d call it a day to be honest IF it weren’t for my damn tribe and their push to 100 points per person. All I know if I reach that goal, y’all better not say a damn thing to me because I really tried. I not only look like garbage but I feel like garbage yet I’m out here taking videos and drawing on my face and looking up a damn TikTok dance even though the whole world knows it by now and I’m like why? Why am I doing all this? Is it really to keep white men happy? Does this arbitrary goal mean anything in the end? Do we really NEED 700 points and can we negotiate that number down a little bit? I’m just saying Like obviously I want us to win but no I don't want to spend all day doing this against my will. Y’all need to be happy with whatever I give you and VERY hot take: if I don’t get 100 points then what. What y’all gone do about it- fight me? I do not own Crocs, VHS tapes, anything Egyptian, anything Survivor related, anything rainbow, or a banana and I don’t feel bad about it. There, I said it. I own what I own and I ain’t breaking quarantine for anything so hear me when I say: y’all will get whatever I give you. I want to EAT today but no I gotta get to making all these random videos so I can rack up points, some of which would make for quality blackmail but we won’t get into that. I’m doing this honestly for all the iconic female players who aren’t playing. I can’t make them look bad by being first fucking boot in a season that only has two women playing out of 21 people so I will just suffer through the pain. It’s not like I don’t have the numbers to stay anyway so there’s that. This is all really a formality, if you will. I’m not going anywhere- low score, high score, it really doesn’t matter but that’s just between us girls.

Okay! I am awake! I can make a functional confessional maybe! So first hour of the game I made an alliance with Austin because I have no impulse control and hey thought it would be swell. I then made an alliance 30 minutes later with Augusto and I probably would have made more alliances if Augusto didn't say "Kendall plz wait like a day," So I did wait a day... and then made 2 more alliances 24 hours later. In my defense it wasn't my turn with The Beauty Tribe's communal brain cell and it's been 7 decades since my last game. Anyway I think it worked out because now we have a power alliance and we are Bringing Sexy Back! ... Literally that is the name of our alliance. Bringing Sexy Back. I came up with it and it's like a double meaning because 1. We Sexy and 2. We back. We do not have backs though... there was a tragic accident. Anyway the Core 4 is Me, Augusto, Connor, and Amir. And we keep saying shit like final 4 final 4 but I have to determine the weakest link before it hits me in the face. I don't trust Connor which is why it's important we work together, because I have a feeling he's going to cause damage either way and it will be safer if he thinks I trust him. He has played with Augusto and has a high opinion of him, so that duo is something I am somewhat worried about. I don't know why I don't trust him, it's not a matter of dislike, if anything he's one of my favorite people to talk to on the tribe it's just there is something calculating about him. Like he's sizing us all up. Augusto and I get along pretty well. He keeps saying shit like "Queen" and "We are meant for each other" and other weird but nice things. We both live in Utah so that's pretty lit. I'd like to work with him but I'm also wary of flattery. He seems to be pretty social with the other two as well, like I mentioned before he and Connor were once on the same season together and Amir mentioned that he's the person he talks to the most. It makes me a bit suspicious as to where his loyalties lie which is sort of dumb because he's like legally allowed to talk to people but I don't want him to be their number ones. It would be inconvenient. Amir is... a mess. A likable mess but a mess. He literally told me he has been waiting for someone to ask for an alliance and that he talks the most to Augusto. He wears his thoughts on his sleeves. He seems a bit nervous to be back, like we'd perceive him as some sort of threat because he was an extra player so to speak.... I don't not yet anyway but it's probably for the best I don't say that out loud. We talked about having a spare fifth and I put Austin on the table because 1. it would be nice to have control of a spare. 2. To keep my promise to him to work together. Sadly I wasn't all that subtle about it so... probably sketched the others out even if it was only a little bit. There 400 words plus other more words. Suck it and See bitches! And by bitches I mean hosts and I guess who ever else reads this.

wow, is it great to back! initially, i was pretty nervous entering this game because i honestly just didn't know what to expect. however, i feel as though i'm sort of picking up where i left off a few years ago in terms of adaptability. i was placed on the beauty tribe, and immediately there were a ton of familiar faces that i could connect with. those being adam, amir, and kendall. i would consider connor one too but we were never that acquainted when we played idlm together, i'm pretty sure i even voted him out. as with any game, it's all about breaking the ice in those starting days by striking up conversation with other people on your tribe and seeing what they're all about. with my aforementioned connections, i felt as though it was pretty easy slipping into conversation with them and just catching each other up on how life's been since we last met. with adam, that wasn't really the case since we still frequently see each other but nonetheless! augusto has left a HUGE impression on me in the best way possible. i adore literally every aspect of him and it feels like and i could be pretty good friends. austin is very sweet and we have similar interests, but i'd love to continue getting to know him to form a more solid relationship with him. overall, i feel as though the tribe dynamic works pretty well. everyone is likable and of course, while it's expected for the beauty tribe, it'll be tough in the event (knock on wood) we ever go to tribal! but i'm always geared up and ready to go girl so i guess i can take on anything. our first challenge is the scavenger hunt, and while i lowkey loathe it, this one was actually pretty fun! hopefully we win it because we seem to be pulling out all the stops for this. one of the tasks had required us ALL to be on call and honestly i feel as though that really brought us even more together as a tribe. it was an instant kii with everyone as we sat around sharing interesting experiences and memories. going into actual game discussion, adam is EAGER to play. like EAGER. he's so excited and his mind has been racing since i've touched base with him. as soon as we were introduced to the tomb, his cracked ass starting spiraling. he was NOT gonna stop until he figured out how to get into this tomb! initially, he thought the hieroglyphics on the logo were of importance but he then noticed that the tags on the cast reveal had interesting numbers that corresponding to our tribe name. we ultimately put these numbers into the blog and were let inside the tomb. HOWEVER, we have to fight to even see what's inside of it! we have to answer 10(?) questions i believe relative to egypt, and i got about 7 of them right and stumped on one, halting my progress until the 24 hours are up and i can go again. out of an act of selfishness, i do want this idol all for myself so hopefully adam doesn't get there before me, though i wouldn't mind it as right now i consider him my final two? but we have WAYS to go so who knows if that even holds up.

I guess i need to do one of these anyway!!! I wish i could do a video but i will suffer for the greater good as always!!! The cast this season is very interesting!!! I dont know a lot of people which is a plus but there’s a few haters in the game i hope aren’t coming after me as much as I’m coming after them LOL. Adam, Kendall, and Trace sorry boos your time is limited! I will never trust these players. On my tribe we have a masc straight energy with Liam, Lovelis, TJ, and Dan and some more feminine energy in myself, jordan, and ali. The fems have decided to join a group to stay together and hopefully we can get someone to vote with us if we have to go to tribal council. For right now I trust both of these players, but moreso Jordan. We’re not entirely sure if we can trust Ali. The temple stumped a lot of us and I haven’t heard much about anyone finding it. EXCEPT ME BITCH. I found that shit last night and I was so hype then jumped the gun on the third question and flopped. But I’m reallyyyyy hoping no one else has it, though I fully suspect someone else to have found it. I’m not going to tell a soul because I want it for myself and I’m worried word would get out that I found it and people would suspect I have an idol, even if I don’t. I don’t want to lose at allll. I’m putting my all into this challenge and praying we come out on top. If we get another clue, whatever, just don’t send me to the hell place. TJ is a cool dude and I enjoyed my conversation with him the first night. We vibe together even if he is a straight male and I am gay as a fedora. I like our pairing and I don’t find him to be a sneaky player so I’d love to develop our partnership further so we can be a powerful force in the game. I would feel good knowing I have someone outside my alliance watching my back as well. Right now, it’s hard to get a read of the tribe. Everyone’s kinda quiet, besides ali and jordan, and I don’t know if it’s because they’re already against me or just hard to warm up to. I guess time will tell but can that time be later? My plan right now is to just continue being myself because I think people like me on this tribe for the most part. I’m not going to over-socialize or play too hard cause the way this tribe is going, saying one wrong thing could make you stand out. I’m trying to hide in the shadows and play the cute role for as long as possible before I smile in their face and slit their throats :~) Also I may have planted some doubt into Jordan’s ear about Liam! Because Liam said to me he can’t do the tik tok dance bc of his foot disease that flares up sometimes. Note, this tik tok had no feet movement and could virtually be done in a chair. So I just let Jordan know what Liam told me and immediately Jordan was irritated. I didn’t intentionally mean to throw Liam under the bus, but the bus came quickly. 

So i meant it when i said that i truly like everyone in my tribe. I love the fact that trace is the first person I’ve ever played with that live(d) where i do. I’ve never met anyone from saint louis before and to be able to talk about the gay bars and the local colleges and areas is nice. I’ve seen his name way back when around the community. I think that it’s amazing, the casting this season so props to all you host. Bodhi is someone else who I’ve seen around plenty, but we’ve never had the pleasure to meet each other and he’s someone that I think is very intriguing. I know he’s a strong social player when it comes to brass tacks though so im a little nervous seeming him in the game. Isaac is someone who I’ve played with a handful times and it’s just weird? We have never targeted each other in the games we play but also have never actively worked together in a game. We usually just coexist and ended up on different sides because we had different friend circles in games past. Now if we go to tribal in this first round, then ideally one of those few people will go. Like I said I like everyone, but I need to make sure to play an active role this time, not so passive like last time. Autumn and I got an alliance together. Also, if I haven’t already praised the tumblr survivor gods that I get to play with m daughter, let me re-iterate that I am so ecstatic! Now I’m not going to put all my eggs in her basket, but I hope my connection with her can carry me through the first couple rounds of the game at least. We got an alliance together consisting of myself, herself, devon and scott. In my opinion, the key to a successful alliance is good communication and loyalty. I also want to work with people I have a genuine interest in. I think Scott is so adorable, and I can’t tell if it’s a façade or not but I’m getting along very well with him. Perhaps its just his strong social game kicking in. Regardless he’s someone that I like and is charismatic and optimistic, that’s the type of person I need on my side moving forward. He’ll be great for group morale and maybe he can snoop information out of others moving forward. As for Devon, he says he’s a very loyal player and he is from Guyana. I see him as someone that will hopefully be super loyal and perhaps even a bit naïve moving forward. I don’t know what I want my relationship with Autumn to be with like in this game. She could be my number one, but for anyone that knows us its possible we get targeted like natalie and Jeremy which I don’t want to happen. I really like our tribe and hope we can stay together as long as possible. What I want from this game is to play a strong game and still be liked by all my peers and of course try to win. My first time in the first quarter of seasons, I was brand new as fuck, fresh out the survivor pussy. I didn’t have any confidence or social skills and got booted first. My second season in the 2nd quarter, Lazio, was not a horrible game to play. The cast was trash though and not a well respected season. It was a weird twisted season, i didn’t like anybody on that season and went out in early jury, although I did make single digits. Last time I played was in the third quarter of ts seasons, playing in Bermuda. I played bc I wanted one last hurrah before taking a hiatus and I don’t mind playing in seasons hosted by Chris Stoner. It was revealed to be a 30 person and I wanted to quit after seeing that lol. I was a weak player on strong tribes during the first half of the game, and the few times I went to tribal I had enough relationships with people that I made it to the 15 person f*cking merge. Because I ghosted the first half of the game I wasn’t viewed as a threat but also wasn’t respected by players. I want to be respected for the game that I play this time whether it brings me to final tribal council or winds me up as the first boot. I came here to prove that I have the chops and can do it. I haven’t been voted out of a game in 2.5 years so if I do get eventually booted its going to sting hard lol. I hope to eventually see people like Dan and Ali get voted out before a swap hits but I bet ts gods will swap me onto a tribe with them both lol. Its just going to be awkward if I have to play with them. I’m willing to if I have to, but I def would prefer to just avoid the awkwardness if possible. In contrast I’m hoping people like Amir and Kendall perform well on their tribes because if possible, I already know I like them personally and would love to work with them later on in the game. I just thought about what I can rant on about for a 100 words. WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH THIS IDOL SEARCH!?!? IS IT LIKE ONLY OPEN FOR CERTAIN PARTS OF THE DAY? I LOOKED ALL AROUND THE BLOG AND CLICKING EVERY LINK I COULD FIND HOPING TO MAYBE RUN INTO THE IDOL HUNT. NO ONE HAS TOLD ME THE SECRET YET! IS IT ONLY OPEN ONCE A ROUND BETWEEN RESULTS AND TRIBAL? Oof I don’t want to lose. Losing to one tribe isn’t bad because its mutually exclusive, first and last. We don’t have to win 1st place, however we need to make sure we don’t come last. Getting first boot would suck eggs and I would end up getting a lower placement than my first time. Idk if anyone has gotten first boot twice, but I don’t want that distinction. 

okay so my tribe is picking it UP in the end of this challenge, my king jakey suddenly has a full sheet which we love to see. in other news... im not feeling TJ's energy, he is kinda fishing about Montenegro and referencing that I won in a kinda threatening way? and i think he thinks he is being super discrete?! but he... is not. its just making me uncomfortable, like i am already really insecure as a player about being a winner and being seen as one, and i dont like what he is doing. also wanna preface this with the fact that he asked about montenegro in a super complimentary way so this is 100% an overreaction JKASDF im not trying to hide that im a winner (im not trace trying to FBI redact the wiki) but i don't like it being brought up in that kinda threatening/fishing way. like when jake talked to me (even tho he was vague too) about me being a winner, he said he thinks me, Jordan and jakey are the high profile people on the tribe (even tho i think i only am because im a winner, im a one time player and not super connected), which at least grouped us together and was in a discussion about working with that? so yeah... i think at this point i wanna stick with Jake/Jordan first and foremost, then Lovelis, then Dan... then Liam M/TJ are bottom of the totem pole for me, but particularly TJ that man can go soon... (also this is really gonna be a mo situation where tj said literally one thing and i dont trust him KJLASDF)

Wooooo cast assessments except I never watch anyone's intro videos so it's more like a cast reaction lmao

https://youtu.be/K3rfK-Cf-GQ

everytime tj starts typing my heart rate elevates by about 600bpm. literally how can someone be so complimentary and yet so terrifying simultaneously i'm nauseous also just as a side note he is probably being super nice and im just being demonic but we will see kjasdfa

okay so if this doesn't demonstrate im insane, im not sure what will. i take it back about TJ, i think he is actually nice JLKSADFAD. i think his way of relating to me was talking about past games and honestly thats kinda sweet i think i just read into things too much. maybe i do like TJ and want him to stick around NNN. maybe she's born with it, maybe its genuine insanity. but yeah TJ if you are reading this sorry for being the rudest ever over a compliment nnnn

I’m so sad that we lost because I don’t want to see any of these people go home and I don’t want to be first boot! lol. I’m also pissed now because I spent so much time doing stuff for nothing >.> it’s the game though, so we’ll keep trudging along i suppose. I don’t want to go home so let’s see what happens 

[myselfinserts]

either way, he’s going to get someone killed. probably himself.

“The Darnell-Meyer Firm is making sure that the district attorney’s office of the I.H.L.J. has plenty of prosecutors for the upcoming fourth quarter sales reports-”

Worst. Date. Ever. I just want to punch these fuckers. 

Marianne had a plane to catch in three days and had been spending time with Darnell until then. Things were going great. Karaoke, cooking together, poker (which she totally destroyed him at). It was going great. 

But now? Now she had to share him with the visiting family. Lawyers. Analytics specialists. Accountants and business associates. Fashion consultants. Scientists. You name it, the family had a foot in it. Not overly famous in name, but big enough to live comfortably. Today Marianne met Mykolas’s older sisters. They were bright, confident, and had the same emerald stare as their baby brother. 

What their gaze lacked, however, was joy.

Blanka was the oldest. A tough lawyer and jury consultant on the fast track to becoming a judge, whose quirk Consult allowed her to pick the perfect jury. They called her the Blessed Counsel. And her quirk wasn’t the only thing blessed about her. Her snow white hair and strong presence was intimidating. No one wanted to go toe to toe with her in a court of law.

Veronika was the second oldest. A woman who worked in the sales division of a trading firm. Her quirk was Expectancy, and she could tell how much life a person, place, or company had left. She used that data to keep people on top of the growing stocks and always knew when to buy and sell. 

Then there was Zala, the second youngest. She had a power called Midas Touch that could turn any metal into silvers and golds, and any stone into a rare gem. Provided they had a similar chemical structure. She was a princess if there ever was one. A chemist and a fashion consultant who could dress anyone. 

And all three were here to try to convince Mykolas to quit hero work and come work at the company. 

“I’m not going back!” Darnell screamed. “I have my work! I have my passions. I’ve happy here!”

Veronika rolled her eyes. “Poď, malý vták. You spent the last several weeks in the hospital for heart problems. You need something to fall back on.”

“Don’t call me that. Only grandpa can call me that. And my heart is fine. Marianne here helped me with it. Better than any doctor I’ve seen before.”

Marianne tried not to blush. 

“I think it’s nice that you found a hobby,” Blanka cooed softly. “But you’re amazing at P.R. We could really use your help, Mykolas.”

“And let’s face it,” Zala groaned. “You’re not exactly All Might. Hell, you’re not even Captain Celebrity. When are you going to give up these parlor tricks and come home?”

Darnell stood up and walked toward the door. “I don’t need to take this. Not today.”

Blanka managed to get to the door, pulling him away and forcing him into his seat. “Mykolas, sit down and let’s talk.”

Marianne got up and slipped beside him, glaring at the sister. “Don’t pull that shit again.”

Blanka was taken aback, but didn’t argue. She took over Marianne’s old spot and went to work pulling her hair into a bun. Darnell smiled and gently took Marianne’s hand, giving her a silent ‘thank you’ as Zala sneered at them. 

“So Marianne,” Veronika coughed. “How did you meet our little brother?”

“We met in a bar,” Marianne said. “In Bel-Town, Elspie after I got out of the hospital. I’d just finished a raid mission not long before we met. We sand karaoke all night after I heard him give an amazing performance of ‘The Haunting’.”

“Was this before or after Vanessa?” Blanka asked. 

“After,” Darnell mumbled. “She broke up with me and abandoned me in the middle of vacation so I spent the rest of my time in Elspie with Marianne until I left for Paris.”

“Ugh, for that support company?” Zala took a sip of her tea, clearly unimpressed. “I wouldn’t have any of my clients even look toward Allard. The man is a bastard.”

Marianne smiled sweetly. “He may be a bastard, but at least he has taste, unlike you.”

Zala choked on her drink. “What?”

“Red isn’t your color and roses are certainly not your flower, sugar. And you’d look better without the tsundere-himedere hair.”

Darnell tried hard not to laugh. Zala was completely red faced in anger, and Blanka had a vague bemused look. Veronika wasn’t deterred though. She seemed rather curious. 

Marianne hated this kind of curiosity. 

“Bold words,” Veronika mused. “Tell me, Marianne. I’m usually able to tell the lifespan of a person. You’re hard to read.”

Marianne smirked. “My quirk can heal just about any injury, both minor and chronic. I’m one of the best healers in the world and the only one on Elspie.”

“So it’s a quirk. That explains Mykolas’s sudden 40 year addition to his span.”

All smiles vanished. Marianne felt cold. The way Veronika said that. It scared her. “What do you mean?”

Veronika poured herself more tea. “Mykolas has had bad health all his life. We didn’t want him to go into heroics because of this. He was supposed to live no longer than age 35 but...now I’m reading 75.”

“That’s good though. Most heroes don’t live that long.”

“Exactly.” Veronika looked over the edge of her glasses. “This is what it’ll be if he stays a hero against the family’s wishes. He could bump it up higher if he quits.”

“That’s not the family’s choice to make though.” Darnell was shaking slightly. “It’s my life. My choice. My home. My career. You all don’t get to stop me.”

“Mykolas, listen.” Blanka’s gaze softened. “You should really consider it. I mean, this isn’t even your house, remember? It’s grandpa’s-”

“Grandpa is the only one who believed in me. Music and Heroics, he encouraged me...which is more than I can say about my own sisters.” 

Darnell got up from the sofa, tears spilling over as he went back to the door. Marianne stood up and kept the sisters in place, giving him the chance to walk out. 

“That could have gone better,” Blanka sighed. 

“No, it couldn’t have.” Marianne looked at all of them. “Why can’t you be good sisters and support your baby brother’s dreams? You three are supposed to be the ones who lift him up the most. And instead you keep bringing up his life expectancy and the family business. If you were all heroes I wouldn’t have a problem-”

“You’re not family. You wouldn’t understand why we’re pushing him to quit this silly facade.”

“It’s not like we needed Mykolas to go into Hero work. The family business is more than enough. We’ve been trying to get him to join us for ages. Its financially stable, easier on the body, and he’d have plenty of access to good healthcare. He’d be much better off at a desk than in the field.”

“And even if we wanted to support his hero work, Mykolas hasn’t even broken the top 200 here. His quirk isn’t exactly the best given its instability and time limits, and he doesn’t have the best track record of coming out of all those S-rank missions unscathed. All that on top of his own health problems? Statistically speaking, his career should be ending any day now, even with the help you gave him.”

“Either way, he’s going to get someone killed. Probably himself. I mean, if he had any talent as a Hero, he wouldn’t need to rely on support items. And he always brings back civilians after they get major injuries. Mykolas can’t even prevent that. He’s useless. Then again, you barely know him, so we’re not surprised you don’t know all this.”

“Wow,” Marianne said slowly. “You’re all a bunch of bitches.”

The girls all stared at her in shock. “Excuse you?”

“No, please don’t excuse me. You don’t deserve to be offended at what I’m about to say.”

“Do you even know how hard it is to do what we do? How physically demanding it is? How much we struggle to work with our quirks? With a power as finicky as his, the fact that he made the top 300 here and top 500 across all of Europe is super impressive! And there are thousands of heroes all over the world that’d kill for a chance to have their gear done by Atelier Allard! And major injuries is better than bringing back dead bodies in bags. Take it from a healer, Myko has done more in his career than a thousand heroes do in a lifetime combined. And if you can’t see that, I hope you all get the worst string of bad luck ever and suck eggs for the next century for all the nasty shit you’ve put him through. Thank you. Fuck you. Bye.”

Without even waiting for their responses, Marianne ran out after Darnell, leaving all three girls fish-mouthed in shock. It didn’t take her long to catch up to him. He’d ran all the way to the park just down the road from the house. In the dark and frost, it was hauntingly beautiful. Darnell stood near the edge, his eyes focused on the playset as he let the tears fall. She slowly approached, hesitating to reach out to him. She wasn’t sure what to say. Should she soothe him? Reassure him? Or just let him cry? She settled for that option, standing beside him and trying to follow where he was looking.

After a long while, he finally spoke up.

“My grandpa would always bring me here,” he said. “Whenever we visited. He’d tell me ‘Myko, my little bird. You can be whatever you want to be. Don’t let what your parents and siblings say about your health deter you.’ And then he’d take me to the pond and we’d feed the birds. He was always...he was always excited when I’d develop my quirk more. I wish he could have seen me in action.”

Marianne looked up at him.

“Myko? Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay. Thank you, Marianne.”

Marianne smiled and gently wrapped an arm around his shoulders, feeling content when he wrapped his around her waist. They stood in the cold in silence, watching the snow fall upon the playground. She could just feel the tinge of warmth off his breath with every huff. The stress faded away, and all there was between them was calm. 

“Feel ready to go back and face your family?” she asked after a while. 

“No. I don’t want to. Not now.”

She nodded slowly. “Well then...how about you come back to my hotel? Stay the night.” She shrugged. “Or the next three days.”

He looked down at her, smile fading. “You’re leaving?”

“Yeah.” She tucked her hair behind her ear slightly, looking at her feet. “A very, very good friend of mine...she got me a place in Japan. I’m...gonna try and find work there. One of the few places with barely any healers, so...you know.”

“I see...Then...after this, it’ll be goodbye?”

She paused, unsure how to respond. She certainly did not want this to be goodbye. But she also didn’t want to drag him around. Darnell, no, Myko. Myko was amazing. She didn’t expect to ever meet someone like him. She was prepared to be an old crone all alone in the middle of nowhere. 

But now?

“Maybe...you could come stay with me in Japan sometime? I mean...they’re always looking for good Heroes there and in Elspie. And I’m not exactly going back to Elspie anytime soon...”

Darnell looked at her, shocked. “Seriously? You want me to come with you?”

“I mean...if you want to.” Marianne’s ears burned as her heart began to race. It was stupid. They hadn’t known each other that long. 

But...it felt right.

Darnell smiled, pulling her into a tight embrace. “I would love that.”

She smiled, hugging him back and letting out a gentle laugh. “Then let’s go get you ready.”

“Your place first. Then we’ll go pack my stuff.” 

“Wanting to avoid the sisters?”

“They’ll kill me before they let me move out of the country.”

“Not if I kill them first.”

“Tempting. So tempting.”

The two hurried out of the snow, back to her hotel and to bed. There was a lot to talk about and plan.

But that could wait until tomorrow.

Icons made with these makers and with photoshopMarianneZalaVeronikaBlankaDarnell

[shootingforthosestars]

First 2 photos: “Thousands converge in Tyre as del Lago Resort & Casino opens for business” Photographer Josh Durso

Third photo: “Town of Tyre supervisor Ronald F. McGreevy rolls the ceremonial first dice at a craps table on opening day of the del Lago Resort and Casino in the town of Tyre in Seneca County, Feb. 1, 2017.“ Photographer Dennis Nett

Yay the Finger Lakes has another casino…. It’s on Rt 414, north of Seneca Falls, across the Thruway from the Petro Truck Stop and less than 2 miles north of the supermassive Seneca Meadows Landfill.  Here’s some of the opening day ‘excitement’ from Advance Media / Post-Standard (read the comments too), as well as the Democrat & Chronicle / Gannett (*warning autoplay videos*), as well as the Finger Lakes Times of Geneva (with links to previous cheerleading reporting)

So, how many facilities are there between Batavia and Verona?

Batavia Downs Gaming and Racetrack

Finger Lakes Gaming and Racetrack (Farmington)

del Lago Resort and Casino (new)

Yellow Brick Road Casino

Vernon Downs Casino Resort

Turning Stone Resort and Casino

Oh and don’t forget Seneca Niagara Resort and Casino in Niagara Falls, Seneca Allegany Resort & Casino in Salamanca, Akwesasne Mohawk Casino Resort in the Akwesasne Mohawk Nation outside Massena, Monticello Gaming and Raceway, Tioga Downs Casino & Racetrack, and more!

Good solid decision-making!

Yes, the labor market in the Finger Lakes, and everywhere, is very bad.   There are more people than there are jobs.  New job opportunities anywhere in Upstate New York generally would be a very good thing, BUT (1) A casino?!? I thought the job market was bad! So are there enough rich people to go around? and (2) the casino market is over-saturated.  Yet, for the public as well as the elected leaders here, those problems didn’t merit concern.  It’s all about jobs and lower taxes here.  Hop on the bandwagon or shut the hell up!  JOBS!  LOWER TAXES!

Consider this recent write-up from the Finger Lakes Times:

A Casino is a place of hopes and dreams. And as a lineup of dignitaries cut the ribbon officially opening del Lago Resort and Casino Wednesday, those hopes and dreams began to become real for the 1500 employees who work there. 

When del Lago was proposed for Seneca County, the unemployment rate was about 7 percent, well above the state and national average, said Jeff Shipley, executive director of the Seneca County Chamber of Commerce. Many of the local people were struggling to make ends meet, working multiple jobs or commuting long distances to support their families. Now, with a job at the casino, they have hopes and dreams of a better future..

That first sentence is insane… a casino is NOT a place of hopes and dreams. It’s a place where you blow all your money.   However, the 7% statistic is true. The most recent unemployment rate for Seneca County NY is 4.7%, as of Dec 2016, according to NYS.  It was as bad as 9.5% in Jan 2013 and it gradually got down to 3.8% in August 2016, as low as it’s been since 2008.  Though keep in mind the employees for Lago come from all over the area, not just Seneca County.  Also these stats do not take into consideration under-employment.  In 2016 the statewide average percentage of people unemployed combined with people underemployed was calculated to be 9.4% (average statewide unemployment in 2016 was 5.1%).

Also from the write-up:

Hope for time for a better family life is an important side benefit for many del Lago employees, said assistant General Manager Juris Basens. He said 75 percent of the casino’s employees come from a 30-minute radius of the Route 414 complex.

Like Richards, Paul Booth, 53, of Waterloo, is looking forward to a better life with some time to slow down and relax.  “I’ve worked hard all my life. Now it’s time to do something fun and exciting,” he explained. That’s why he jumped at the chance to be come a dealer at the casino. “Most of my jobs were physical. I’m getting older in life and don’t want to do heavy labor any more. And I heard the pay was good, too,” he added.  The pay’s important to Booth. He was between jobs, he said, when he was hired by del Lago. His unemployment had run out and he was living on his 401-K. The future was getting bleak. But now, he has hope. “I plan to work here until I retire,” he said.

Hope and optimism for the future is what attracted Amber Impson of Border City to apply for a job at the casino.  The 27-year-old single mother of two was struggling to provide a good life for her two daughters, age 8 and 2. She’d had dead-end jobs through workforce development programs, been on food stamps and Medicaid. Before being hired as lead of environmental services at the casino, she had a part time job as a housekeeper at a Waterloo hotel.  The casino’s full time hours plus medical and dental insurance means she will be self sufficient for the first time. “I’m looking forward to a better future for my kids – and for me,” she said.

The Lord works in mysterious ways!  Lots of hope and dreams!  Let’s be honest: it’s damn good to see people finding work out there.  I have questions, though. How much money will that guy have to retire with? How good is the ‘good pay’ there?  How much is she being paid? If it’s under $10/hr, with the kids, she will still need SNAP benefits. (Attn: Paul Ryan.) 

More questions: What’s it like working at Lago?  What was it like to apply and land a job there?  How many prospective employees did a New York State Workforce Development Office assist?  How many Lago employees is Lago management receiving tax credits for?  Do people accidentally call Lago ‘Lego’?  Are the employees under NDA’s?  Are the statements in that write-up true, and not a Lago snow job?  That entire write-up seems too good to be true.

Here’s the thing: An oversaturated market means job security will be at risk.  One (or more) of the above casinos is at serious risk of going out of business –should that happen, jobs gained at Lago will be lost elsewhere.   You can’t just say ‘Well we need jobs too! If other people lose their jobs, fuck ‘em. That’s their problem.‘  (And yes, this is what seems, to me, to have been the most common argument for this casino. I’ve heard this first-hand too many times to count.)  Without job security, Lago isn’t something you can bank on being there 5 or 10 years from now. That’s unwarranted risk. You can’t even presume a better future for people if we don’t know what the wage, salary structure and working conditions truly are like at Lago, let alone how the broader market will play out.   Any ‘hopes and dreams for a better future’ will be quickly dashed if Lago can’t compete in a crowded market. (For instance, a BILLION dollar casino is opening in 2018 near Monticello. Next week in Schenectady--ah, Schenectady!–their new casino opens.)   What if del Lago sucks? What if the crowds never materialize? What then, for the workers and the community sold on Hope and Dreams fulfilled?

‘Hopes and dreams’ provided by Lago already comes at the expense risk of other people’s hopes and dreams. At nearby Finger Lakes Gaming and Racetrack, 449 people are employed for the casino and an ambiguous number for the racetrack. The expectation seems to be that FLGR (a Delaware North property) will go out of business.  Not if del Lago sucks, it won’t.

Why bring people’s lives up only to have them be crushed 5 years from now because this gamble (forgive the pun) didn’t pay off?  Upstate New York needs solid, stable jobs.  Casinos ain’t it.

Shit.

Anyway, here’s a colorful, insightful report from the New York Times, from 2014, explaining the Town of Tyre, Seneca County, and some of the supporters & detractors’ positions.

Gannett (d.b.a. Roc Democrat & Chronicle, Ithaca Journal, Bingo Press Bulletin, Elmira Star-Gazelle) reported in Nov 2016 about Lago’s tax deals, a report which seems to be a copy-and-paste job from the Seneca County IDA website and others.

Slot machines will be taxed at … 37 percent at del Lago… Table games will be taxed at 10 percent, according to the state Gaming Commission.  Of the tax revenue, 80 percent will go to the state for education aid. An additional 10 percent will go to each region’s counties, and the other 10 percent is split equally between the host county and the host municipality.  Local officials are eager for the money. They’ve already received some revenue from the license fee each casino had to pay… 

“The focus should not be on the financial assistance for the project, but instead what alternative the county could be faced with and mostly on the tremendous benefit,” the Seneca County IDA said last year about its tax deal with Lago.

Lago will pay $45.3 million over 20 years for its PILOT. The Lago deal, though, is back-loaded, meaning the casino owners will pay nearly $4 million more over the 20 years than they would have without the agreement.  In exchange, Lago will pay less in property taxes up front: less than $1 million in each of the first three years, then growing to $2.8 million in 2036, when the agreement expires, records show.  Del Lago, owned by Rochester-area developer Thomas Wilmot (and partner Peninsula Pacific, and managed by ‘JNB Gaming LLC’ ), also agreed to pay $10.5 million to Tyre over 20 years to pay for additional local services, such as extra firefighters and police.

Don’t think about the handouts, think of the jobs! Yah okay. Some additional background, also from Gannett, here.

Also, per The Citizen (Auburn)…

Seneca County, Tyre and the six counties in the gaming region — Broome, Chemung, Schuyler, Tioga, Tompkins and Wayne — will receive an estimated $13 million in annual revenues from del Lago.  The hosts — Seneca County and the Town of Tyre — will each get a projected $3.25 million a year. The six other municipalities will share roughly $6.5 million annually.

From the Seneca County IDA’s press release in 2015…

Under the agreements, the developers of Lago Resort will pay $45.3 million to Seneca County; the Waterloo Central School District; Route 318 infrastructure improvements; and other payments over 20 years, starting in 2016.  The $45.3 million is $3.83 million more than Lago Resort would pay if the project were fully taxed under the New York State statutory 485-b exemptions.

“This is momentous for our community,” said IDA Chairman Tom Macinski. “By working together, we negotiated a package that provides Lago Resort with the 20-year financial certainty it needs and, at the same time, provides significant economic benefits to our community, including designated payments and robust job creation for years to come.”

Is the $45.3 million PILOT a fair deal?  Who knows!  I don’t.  Not one news organization in New York State has looked into that.  Anyways, note this from the Seneca County IDA’s website:

If approved, the project would create, conservatively, 1,000 operations jobs (full-time equivalent) and 1,200 construction jobs. In addition, the project would create an additional 1,040 indirect jobs, 600 of which would be during construction

See here’s the JOBS thing again. Robust job creation!  The 1,800 jobs promised and breathlessly parroted .. are only part-time or seasonal?!?  You can’t bank your hopes and dreams on P/T money.  Lago claimed last week to have hired 1,400 people so far (but no info as to P/T or F/T, year-round or seasonal).  Note the article with the insane lede, above, claimed 1500 people. WTF.

(Also there’s this from Dec 2015. from the IDA website, cataloguing some of the community opposition.)

Illegal backroom deals to build Lago were suspected.  One avenue involved State Senator Mike Nozzolio (who represented Seneca County and called it quits last year), and another involved the State Gaming Commission’s selection process for casino licenses.  There was a fierce ad campaign last year and prior.  There were lawsuits to stop Lago that weren’t successful.  Also, Lago’s backers began site prep in Feb 2015, well before they were even awarded a license to build and operate a casino in Dec 2015.  Why?  Who knows.

Also, the casino, built precariously near a landfill with odor control problems, was also built around a cemetery (?!?!?)

The Las Vegas style casino built their parking lot around an old family cemetery.  Neighbors said decedent’s didn’t want them disturbed during construction.  "This is a generational cemetery,“ Lynn Barbuto from Tyre said.  In the middle of the parking lot, gravestone’s are peaking through the snow.  "New York State Cemetery Association came in and said that Wilmot Corporation could not dig this up and move it,” Barbuto explained.

At least the ‘Casino Free Tyre’ website is still around. They tried.

So Lago stinks. We have an understaffed and toothless press here. Stories were dropped and weren’t picked back up. Reporting mostly consisted of copy and paste from press releases.  No checking facts. No perspective. No effort.  Many of the elected leaders in Seneca County, the FLX and in Albany (well, undoubtedly everywhere) are shitty people who don’t give a single fuck about the public, so there’s need for a good news outlet: an independent, resourceful, knowledgeable, skeptical press that’s not afraid to call bullshit for bullshit.  All folks around here have now are cheerleaders and ‘content producers’ that give shady deals such as Lago a free pass.  Meanwhile, many people simply cannot find work that provides enough to make ends meet, let alone provide job security and stability.

‘Fuck em, we need jobs too. Their loss.’

[buffytardis]

13 Reason Why - Episode 12 [Spoilers ahead]:

I liked the scene where they go to Jessica’s & we get shown the little ensemble they gathered of people believing in her & them waving at her. ^_^ Finally, after 12 episodes, some positivity & something not dark/heavy. (Seriously, why even make that season & why even watch this? It doesn’t offer anything really. At least in s1 they had the message “be kind to people, look how bad things can go for them”, and now is “nothing matters, everyone is crappy”.)

I’m glad Jessica felt safe and comfortable enough to accuse that a-hole.

I also liked how they all ganged up on Montgomery.

I wanna say “what the hell, Chloe” but I can’t even bring myself to get mad/frustrated. That shows 2 things: how much they didn’t manage to make me “care” about Chloe or understand why she says/does what she says/does and how much this season sucked at making me expect decent/logical responses/behaviors.

Not surprised with how the jury decided, it was pretty obvious. They didn’t even portray the trial for the Baker family to even stand a chance, they kept getting shot down by the opposition.

What I can’t wrap my head around is how the frak was Bryce getting so untouched by everything while he wasn’t actively doing anything himself! It’s wasn’t even as if people kept taking shots at him & missing, it was liek people were shooting their own leg. He was just sitting back, living his life, not troubling himself with anything.

Yes on finally getting arrested. Well, Justin getting too was predictable, I’m amazed how Clay didn’t realise that’s what his mom talked to Justin about. I mean it was obvious. In order to say whatever he said, he’d have to say the whole truth & how he was there & he was a guilty party so naturally he’d take some accusations too.

Anyway, I’m glad I’ve finally reached the finale, I can’t say I’ve enjoyed this season, I fee more like I’ve wasted my time when I could be watching something else, but anyway... On to the finale (...it won’t have a s3, right? RIGHT? 0_0) where they’ve been building it up as if Tyler will go and do that awful thing that happens in schools in America that has made kids stop feeling safe.

Ps. was K.Walsh that bad in s1 too & I just don’t remember it or did she become worse (maybe because now she has a bigger role)? The way she talks (as if she has stones in her mouth or as if she has curled her tongue while speaking or something), moves her mouth, acts...nah-nah. Irritates me a lot, sorry. :-/

[marysrhetoricportfolio-blog]

Week Two

Group Post and Presentation:  Students will summarize group text in post and presentation, and somewhere in this summary put forth what they discern to be the top 3 lessons about rhetoric and law that emerge from the text. All group members must participate equally and this must be demonstrated in the deliverables of post and presentation.

My group:  Aeschylus, The Eumenides

Original Post:

Group 1: Mary McKeller, Rebecca Seeger, & Charlotte Stone

VIEW POWERPOINT PRESENTATION HERE

Aeschylus’ The Eumenides

The opening scene of the Eumenides is set outside the temple of the god Apollo. When the priestess of the temple arrives, she discovers a man, Orestes, sleeping with a sword surrounded by sleeping Furies, goddesses of vengeance . Petrified, the priestess flees the temple. From the previous play in the Oresteia trilogy, the audience knows that Orestes has come to the temple to absolve himself after killing his mother, Clytemnestra.

When Orestes wakes up, the god Apollo suggests that Orestes travel to Athens to seek the help of the goddess Athena. Apollo tells Orestes that he will defend Orestes in his trial for the killing.

When Apollo and Orestes leave, the ghost of Clytemnestra, Orestes’ dead mother, appears inside the temple. She wakes the Furies and riles them up, encouraging them to pursue Orestes for his crime.

When Apollo returns to the temple he argues with the Furies, insisting that they leave. The Furies charge that Apollo is chiefly responsible for the death of Clytemnestra because he convinced Orestes to kill her. Angry and out for the blood of Orestes, the Furies leave the temple to hunt him down in Athens.

Now in Athens, Orestes prays to the goddess Athena. Just when the Furies are catching up to Orestes and paralyzing him with a binding song, Athena enters, answering Orestes’ prayer. Orestes explains that he killed his mother because his mother slayed his father, Agamemnon. Athena proposes that they settle the issue by means of a trial with a jury of twelve Athenian citizens. She will assume the role of judge.  

Next, the trial begins. Apollo arrives to defend Orestes. The Furies begin the proceedings by interrogating Orestes who admits that, acting on the advice of Apollo, he did slice Clytemnestra’s neck with a sword as revenge for her having killed Agamemnon. When the Furies question Apollo, he confirms Orestes’ account of the incident. Apollo and Orestes both advance the argument that Orestes was not related by blood to his mother since mothers only provide for the bodily needs of children, while fathers act as their true parent.

The members of the jury cast their votes. Athena announces that she awards her vote to Orestes because she favors men over women. The audience then learns that the jury is split, so Athena’s vote becomes the tie-breaker. Orestes goes free.

Upset about the outcome, the Furies chant their frustration. Athena persuades them to accept Orestes’ acquittal by offering them a home in Athens where they can act as goddesses that both encourage good and punish evil. With this new purpose, the Furies become “the Eumenides” or “The Kindly Ones.”

Rhetoric and Law Lessons that Emerge from the Text:

1 ) Patriarchy is historically bound up with society’s rhetoric and laws.

-Apollo argues that the mother is not the real parent anyway. “Not the true parent is the woman’s womb that bears the child.”

-He uses Athena, who was born of Zeus as an example: “Athena, daughter of Olympian Zeus, Never within the darkness of the womb...but a bud more bright than any goddess in her breast might bear."

-The play reduces a woman to her body parts: “She doth but nurse the seed.”

-Finally, Athena casts her vote in favor of Orestes because a woman’s murder is not morally equivalent to a man’s.

Overall, a large part of the rhetoric used to persuade the jury is built from strongly patriarchal values.

2)  Different approaches to law exist in the world and are pitted against each other. Therefore, rhetoric must constitute justice.

-The way the Furies tell it, Orestes brutally murdered his mother and should therefore be tortured and killed himself. They exhibit a strict intolerance to crime and an eye for an eye mentality.

-The way Orestes tells it, the killing of his mother was a justifiable response to her murder of his father.

This disagreement is proof that the law is inadequate without rhetoric. Without an obvious answer, those involved must count on rhetoric to reach a solution.

3) Although a system may appear to be just, it can be tainted by unjust rhetoric.

-The trial of Orestes is supposed to bring about justice and end the cycle of revenge within Orestes’ family, but the outcome of the trial is arbitrary.

-Athena, the deciding vote, makes her decision based on the fact that she is a “champion of men.”

-This is a debatably unjust outcome to the situation.

Therefore, we must consciously critique our societal processes for rhetoric and law if we are to avoid unjust outcomes.

Some important quotations to consider:

Chorus of Furies: condemning Apollo for defending and protecting Orestes

“Thou, child of the high God Zeus, Apollo, hast robbed us and wronged;

Thou, a youth, hast down-trodden the right that to godship more ancient belonged;

Thou hast cherished thy suppliant man; the slayer, the God- forsaken,

The bane of a parent, by craft from out of our grasp thou hast taken;

A god, thou hast stolen from us the avengers a matricide son-

And who shall consider thy deed and say, It is rightfully done?” (Aeschylus).

Leader of the Chorus: being an accomplice is just as bad as committing the crime

“O king Apollo, in our turn hear us.

Thou hast not only part in these ill things,

But art chief cause and doer of the same…

Thine oracle bade this man slay his mother…

Then didst thou aid and guard red-handed crime,” (Aeschylus).

Chorus of Furies: an eye for an eye mentality

“It may not be! a mother's blood, poured forth

Upon the stained earth,

None gathers up: it lies-bear witness, Hell!-

For aye indelible

And thou who sheddest it shalt give thine own

That shedding to atone!

Yea, from thy living limbs I suck it out,

Red, clotted, gout by gout…” (Aeschylus).

Chorus of Furies: determined to not let crime go unpunished

“But if, as yonder man, he hath

Blood on the hands he strives to hide,

We stand avengers at his side,

Decreeing, Thou hast wronged the dead:

We are doom's witnesses to thee.

The price of blood, his hands have shed,

We wring from him; in life, in death,

Hard at his side are we!” (Aeschylus).

Athena: refuses to accept the Furies’ account of the story without hearing the other side. Her scale is balanced until evidence shows her otherwise.

“Two stand to plead-one only have I heard.”

“Enough is said; I bid the judges now

With pure intent deliver just award,” (Aeschylus).

Athena: chooses a jury of citizens to examine this difficult case despite being a goddess herself

“I choose unto me judges that shall be

An ordinance for ever, set to rule

The dues of blood-guilt, upon oath declared.

But ye, call forth your witness and your proof,

Words strong for justice, fortified by oath;

And I, whoe'er are truest in my town,

Them will I choose and bring, and straitly charge,

Look on this cause, discriminating well,

And pledge your oath to utter nought of wrong,” (Aeschylus).

Apollo: presents a sexist argument in defense of Orestes

“...Not the true parent is the woman's womb

That bears the child; she doth but nurse the seed

New-sown: the male is parent…” (Aeschylus).

Athena: Before the citizens begin to vote

"Therefore, O citizens, I bid ye bow

In awe to this command, Let no man live,

Uncurbed by law nor curbed by tyranny;

Nor banish ye the monarchy of Awe

Beyond the walls; untouched by fear divine,

No man doth justice in the world of men…” (Aeschylus).

Athena: casts the final vote of the trial in favor of Orestes to champion men

“Mine is the right to add the final vote,

And I award it to Orestes' cause.

For me no mother bore within her womb,

And, save for wedlock evermore eschewed,

I vouch myself the champion of the man,

Not of the woman, yea, with all my soul,-

In heart, as birth, a father's child alone.

Thus will I not too heinously regard

A woman's death who did her husband slay,

The guardian of her home; and if the votes

Equal do fall, Orestes shall prevail...” (Aeschylus).

Works Cited

Aeschylus. “Eumenides.” Translated by E.D.A. Morshead, The Internet Classics Archive | Eumenides by Aeschylus, 1994,          classics.mit.edu/Aeschylus/eumendides.html.

Shmoop Editorial Team. “The Eumenides Summary.” Shmoop, Shmoop University, 11 Nov. 2008, www.shmoop.com/eumenides/summary.html.

Commentary:

I really enjoyed our project on The Eumenides. Working with my two brilliant classmates opened my eyes to new perspectives on classical legal rhetorical theory. Rhetoric constitutes the law, the need for rhetoric to prevail justice, and the patriarchal society of which rhetoric creates the law. I believe we tapped into critical legal rhetorical theory before we even knew the basics of it.