#the jake formerly known as prince

[somewhere-in-the-dungeon]

Jake is from Theros. The myths of heroes, grand and glorious and uncomplicated live in his mind as he tries to cope with a war that's anything but. That fits with Theros's Grecian heroes. Jakes whole deal is bringing order and stability to the team, which makes him White. He was the second son, his brother a champion in the wrestling ring.

Marco is from Innistrad. Everyone is scared of monsters all the time, fear relieved only by Marco's gallows humour, and as that humour is striped away it leaves someone willing to get his hands dirty and use ruthless invention to stay alive and get what he wants. That fits with the mad scientists and ghoulcallers of Innistrad. Marco is all about the bright clear line between him and what he wants, willing more than anyone else to sacrifice any principle and cross any line for victory, which makes him Black.

Cassie is from Ikoria. She cares deeply about the animals that are her only weapon, able to live with them and bond with them and help them even when it's scary. That fits with Ikoria's monsters and the Bonders. She's the slowest to change, the most resistant to the corruption and slippery slope of war, and the one fighting for the whole world instead of just the parts of it that talk and drink pepsi or drive cars, which makes her Green.

Rachel is from Kaldheim. Hair braided back, an ax in her hand and her enemies blood on her face, Rachel is a warrior and a berserker. That's perfect of Kaldheim, which is all about Norse myth. She starts out willing to brave the dangerous crossing on a lark, against the rules, and ends up screaming defiance into the face of the enemy in a mission that can only end with her going to the graveyard, which makes her Red.

Ax is from Arcavios. He's about figuring out something new and interesting, with victory coming either because he thinks up something nobody else thought was possible or because his tail blade was just faster than anyone else moved, which makes him Blue. A Quandrix scholar at the greatest library in the multiverse.

Tobias is from Bloomburrow, the plane where everyone gets turned into talking animals. No further comments.

Love the content so far! Could you possibly do an AU with the Animorphs in a Magic the Gathering setting? Which planes they'd be from if planeswalkers, and/or which guilds they'd be in if in Ravnica?

I haven't played Magic the Gathering! Anyone who has played, and knows Animorphs, willing to weigh in?

[curligurl0896]

The thing about being born after Animorphs was first published is that there are a lot of references that went so completely over my head that for the longest time I didn't even know they were references and thought they were a completely in universe thing that Applegrant made up for the lols

[maeum-your]

↺ swirling & twirling

pairing: park sunghoon x fem!reader

synopsis: sunghoon borrows your shirt after an exciting ice skating date and he slays the hell out of it.

genre: fluff

word count: 1.6k

You could grudgingly accept to wait until Halloween had passed, but as soon as November 1st hit you pulled out a piece of paper and started working on your winter bucket list. Christmas time was your favorite time of the year and you were determined to make the most of it.

November 2nd: ice skating. That‘s what it said for this wednesday. You and your boyfriend both had early classes on Wednesday but had the entire afternoon free so you had scheduled your cute little date for this day.

Sunghoon had formerly been a professional figure skater, the ice his second home. Meanwhile, you had never been ice skating in your entire life and were absolutely horrified by the prospect of not being in total control of your feet. But if there was anyone you trusted enough to keep you safe and lead you it was your boyfriend of three months. He promised to teach you once winter came and even though November technically still counted as fall he happily agreed to do it today.

With one swift motion Sunghoon slid onto the ice and did a spin.

“I can do that too,“ you said, clutching onto the railings for dear life, carefully setting one foot on the ice.

“I don‘t doubt it but let‘s start out easy.“ He guided you by your hips and you managed to get your second foot on the ice, only wobbling slightly.

“Take my hands,“ he instructed you. “And always remember: Slightly bend your knees and always lean forwards. If you lean backwards you could hit your head if you fall and I‘m not really in the mood to clean my girlfriend‘s brain off the ice today.“

He earned a light punch on the shoulder for that and laughed at your scared expression.

“Bend knees. Lean forward. Don‘t fall. Don‘t smear brain mass all over the rink. Got it.“

You were doing well if you set aside the fact that you weren‘t moving yourself at all. The bending and leaning was just fine but Sunghoon was basically dragging you along as he skated backwards. How he moved so effortlessly on the ice was simply beyond you. He was more a creature of the ice than of the land. You would bet 50 bucks that if he tried to walk backwards on land he‘d trip and fall immediately. But on the ice he was as graceful as a swan. His freshly dyed white hair reminded you of the title he had gotten during his figure skating days. Before you had known him personally you had heard him spoken of as the ice prince. 

“Good job,“ praised Sunghoon after you slowly started getting the hang of it by watching his feet.

“For what? Not falling on my ass?“

He pouted his lips teasingly. “Exactly.“

He kissed your nose and you turned your face, hoping he wouldn‘t mistake the redness on your cheeks for anything other than a sign of the cold. Your relationship still felt so fresh and exciting. He made you feel alive in the best way possible. Every time you heard him laugh made your heart beat impossibly faster.

Trying skating with only one hand was next. You reluctantly removed your death grip on his right hand and allowed him to move to your side. Even if you wanted to, you couldn‘t fall. Sunghoon would just hold you up with his insane upper arm strength every time you slipped. 

You managed to skate three rounds like this until he decided it was time for you to try it on your own. Before you could cling to him and beg him not to leave you, he was already way on his way to the other side of the rink.

He patted his bent knees. “Come here, y/n. Be a good girl.“

You barely refrained from flipping him off. “If you want a dog, go visit Jake.“

You were determined to prove you could manage just fine by yourself. Remembering his instructions, you puffed out your chest and carefully started putting one foot in front of the other, moving slowly but moving. About halfway through you started losing focus. You felt really proud of your skills and wanted to go faster. It worked for a little bit of the way but right before you reached your boyfriend you slipped and lost your balance, arms flailing about. 

Sunghoon was by your side in an instant.

“I told you to always lean forward,“ he scolded after making sure you hadn‘t hit your head.

You huffed. “I think I‘ve had quite enough of pretending to be good at ice skating for a day.“

He stroked your hair gently. 

“You did well, baby. But maybe we should call it a day.“

“No!“ You were quick to protest. “You barely got to skate at all. And I haven't seen you do all your cool tricks yet!“

“Fine.“ He rolled his eyes but there was a smile on his face. “But just for a little while! Then we can go home and cuddle under a blanket while watching one of the Christmas movies on your list.

“Ooh, can we do The Nightmare Before Christmas?“ Your eyes had started glinting with excitement.

“But Halloween was just two days ago?“

“I know but since it‘s both a Halloween and a Christmas movie right now would be the best time to get the most of it! There‘s still some Halloween vibes left but it‘s also almost winter so it‘s perfect.“

Sunghoon chuckled. “The Nightmare Before Christmas it is.“

He gave you a kiss before he left you by the seats.

You watched your boyfriend with the brightest smile as he spun and jumped gracefully. You clapped enthusiastically everytime he so much as did anything that wasn‘t just basic moving forward. Watching Sunghoon in his element, flushed cheeks and nose, was a truly special moment to you. He was sharing the thing he loved the most with you, inviting you to see this side of him that not too many had gotten to see since he quit figure skating. 

You headed back to your apartment when he was done. He insisted on taking a shower before sitting down to cuddle and watch a movie, claiming he was all sweaty.

You waited patiently on your bed, scrolling through the pictures and videos you had taken that day.

“All done,“ announced Sunghoon as he came back to your bedroom. You looked up.

“Is there a special reason as to why you are wearing my shirt?“

Sunghoon was wearing a Hello Kitty t-shirt of yours that was obviously way too small on him. The lower part of his abs was showing and his biceps looked humongous sticking out of the tight sleeves. It should have been a picture to laugh at but maybe you were too far gone because to you he instead somehow managed to look even godlier than usual.

“Damn you and your unholy good looks, Park Sunghoon,“ you grumbled.

He held his hand to his ear, obviously pleased with your answer. “What was that? I didn‘t quite catch that.“

He barely dodged the minion plushie you threw at him. God, if only he didn‘t know the effect he had on you. His shit-eating grin said it all.

“Careful, Park, or I will have you wear my ‘My Little Pony‘ shirt from when I was ten, and unhinged and obsessed.“

“So pulling out the big guns, ehh?“ he laughed from behind the plushie, ready to dodge the squishmallow you were about to chuck at him. 

“I just wanted to see if I‘d look as good as you do in this shirt. Nothing‘s sexier than Hello Kitty purring on your chest.“

You stopped in your tracks and made a face.

“That might just be the least romantic thing you‘ve ever said to me.“

“Hey!“ he complained. “It‘s not my fault I wear your shirt better than you do. I can always just take it off, you know?“

You started panicking as he lifted up the shirt a little, flexing his abs.

“Stop, stop, stop.“ You waved about frantically. 

“Fine,“ you said. “Take it. It‘s all yours. You know what? You can have all my clothes. Here, have this one too.“ 

He caught the hot pink crop top you had yeeted out of your closet and held it out in front of him, as if trying to see how it would look on him.

“As much as I think I would slay the hell out of his top, I think I would rather have my own clothes at your place."

A smile spread on your face and you shook your head. 

“All this instead of just asking me.“

Sunghoon fake yawned. “How boring. Why do that if you could just make your girlfriend flustered by wearing her clothes?“

“You proved your point. Please do bring your own stuff or I will end up getting jealous of you actually wearing my own clothes better than I do.“

He went to stand between your legs. 

“For what it‘s worth I think you look fantastic. Always. I wouldn‘t mind having your clothes over at my place either but if I'm being honest I'd rather have you wear my sweaters.“

You pulled him down by the neck, his hair soft under your fingers, and kissed him.

“I’m sure that can be arranged.“

a/n: I'm not ready for winter at all but I would drop everything to go ice skating with hoon!!

masterlist

permanent taglist: @angelwonie @soobin-chois @nar-nia @acciomylove @sunoona @ylatiitaly

[sarifel-corrisafid-ilxhel]

Animorphs Books We Probably Are Glad We Didn’t Get, Probably

The Helmacron Chronicles - This riveting tale would have followed the insane and not-at-all-exaggerated voyage of the Helmacron warship Sun Punisher, and reads something like a 5 year old’s power fantasy because whenever they run into trouble, the narration abruptly says they triumphed and proceeds with haste to the next scene without explaining how they escaped. Features a cameo by Visser Three and The Artist Formerly Known As The Artist Formerly Known As Prince.

Animorphs: The Hypnotic - One of the missing Tobias-narrated books that features a plot where the Yeerks try to use hypnotic television programs to weaken the Human population by freezing them in place, letting Controllers go door to door infesting the helpless Humans. Tobias, who does not have a television because he lives in a tree, notices the plot and saves the day with the help of Ax, who was briefly hypnotized but is freed after the program cuts away to These Messages.

Animorphs: The Inflection - In this all-too-terrifying-tale, the Yeerks have returned to the deep sea lair of the Nartec in force, intent on enslaving the mutated fish people once and for all. Narrated by Cassie, the book features the all new Giant Isopod morph, Walrus-Controllers, and  thrilling moral quandaries such as whether it is better to intervene in a fight between enemies or stay out of it, the complicated truth of enemy-of-my-enemy situations, and whether or not to press The Button after Ax cracks the nuclear codes. The post-battle scene where the Animorphs all get ice cream at a Dairy Queen and fret about the homework they forgot to finish was praised as the best scene never written.

Animorphs: The Drastic - This Rachel-focused book gave us the fluff and slice of life that Animorphs was always missing. Praised for its look at what being a teenager is really like when you’re not saving the world, it helped audiences connect with Rachel in ways they completely forgot to do when she was kicking alien butts. A surprise cameo by Tom’s Yeerk and a memorable dance routine helped solidify this as a fan favorite. 

The Crayak Chronicles - An angry gamer boy goes on a rampage because his mother took away his game console for two weeks because he failed math class. Also, he has the power to manipulate reality because he bungee jumped into a black hole.

The Pemalite Chronicles - 77 pages of the goodest boys that have ever existed being adorable before the Howlers show up. Things... do not go well after that.

Animorphs: The Incident - An Animorphs story told backwards, starting with an epic conclusion and then showing you scene by scene how they got there. Fans were dismayed to learn that Tom did not actually have a Yeerk, but instead had been pretending this entire time because he wanted to feel involved in Jake’s social life.

And those are the Animorphs books we are probably glad we never got to read. Probably.

[sarifel-corrisafid-ilxhel]

I am not the Jake formerly known as Prince, but I do want to point out that in book 6, we see Temrash 114 use Jake to morph multiple times and it never reset the clock for Temrash.

I had a thought about morph-capable Controllers. Does morphing "reset" Does morphing "reset" the Yeerk's three-day Kandrona starvation counter, the way it heals traumatic injuries? If so, it might explain the fridge problem of "how'd Visser Three exit Alloran's body to feed without Alloran morphing and running?" While also adding to the horror of the situation because it'd mean that unlike all the other hosts who get some small freedom when their hosts feed, Alloran's never in ANY control. Oof.

Oh wow. Yeah maybe. it would explain why he begged them to kill him when he was temporarily free (did this actually happen or am i making it up)

[gaysails]

behold... my only saved urls. says something about my psyche I’m sure. the blogger formerly known as the jake formerly known as prince

[thewebcomicsreview]

Homestuck 2! Chapter 13! The funeral! 

One thing I’ve noticed about these Homestuck Chapters is that they are exclusively Meat or Candy, and we never cut from one to the other in a chapter. Presumably this is setting up a “rule” that will be “broken” in a really dramatic moment (a la “Pearl doesn’t Shapeshift” in Steven Universe). Or it’ll be an anticlimax joke. Or, given the occasionally sloppiness of the writing team, it’ll happen randomly this chapter right around the point the trend is starting to become noticeable. Anyway. Jane is speaking, and it’s a funeral, so presumably this is Candyland and this is a chapter with Yiffy in it.

Are those the Derse and Prospit colors in that church?

Why are there so many trolls in the audience if Jane’s a human supremacist and humans and trolls are at war? I know HS2 sanded off the grimdarkness of the epilogues, but is there even a war anymore? Or is it just a family squabble between the gods? Jane conspicuously avoids mentioning the Trolls, but references the “Human Nation State”, formerly known as the Human Kingdom. If the Humans are now an independent nation then what exactly is Jane the president of? If there’s a one world government, then what the hell is Jane talking about? Why does anyone give a shit what she thinks of troll breeding if the four nations live in harmony are independently run? What is the political situation of Earth C, exactly? Is there an open war? Is Karkat leading like a terrorist cell? Who’s in charge of the Troll Kingdom?

Maybe it doesn’t super matter because the story is less about politics and more about “Bluh bluh, Jane’s a huge bitch”, but I’m kind of curious as to what the facts on the ground are.

Speaking of things I don’t understand that will hopefully be explained soon. What’s Yiffy even doing here? I guess to be revealed to the world and executed?

JANE: And my first memory of our Purple Prince 

Classpect speculation time! Everyone’s favorite! “Prince” is a class, and it’s even capitalized here so we don’t miss it, but Gamzee wasn’t a Prince, he was a Bard. The joke may be as simple as “Jane doesn’t really care about Gamzee”, but it could also be foreshadowing, as Prince and Bard are opposite classes and inversions and all the BladeKind Eyewear stuff.

It takes Jake a few seconds of puzzled eye contact before he catches exactly what it is Yiffany is tossing down. In his defense, he is distracted by his wife’s speech, which is doing the emotional equivalent of wringing him out like a wet towel, before using that towel to slap the sweaty buttocks of a large, odorous man. Even if he knows everything she’s saying is a load of horsefeathers, it does nothing for his composure to hear her heap praise on that smelly, homewrecking clown.

This narration is trying way too hard to be quirky.

He narrows his eyes in Yiffany’s direction. She’s a lovely girl, really

Oh good, a weird throwaway implication that middle-aged Jake English is sexually attracted to his own teenage granddaughter who he’s literally holding by a leash at the time. That’s just phenomenal. Thanks, Homestuck. 

I do love that, as soon as Jake accidentally-on-purpose lets her go, Yiffy chooses not to escape but to just fucking charge at Jane. As a character who doesn’t talk (but could talk at any time, another “rule” being built up to be broken at a dramatic moment), Yiffy has to be characterized by her actions, which thus makes her way more, well, active than anyone else in Homestuck 2 or really even in Homestuck 1. Even Vriska would filibuster a bit here before attacking, and Spades Slick would have some dramatic narration, but Yiffy gets none of that, just wild abandon, attacking a woman who is blah blah blah-ing endlessly. 

Obviously this isn’t an all-purpose “correct” choice for every story, but I think having Yiffy be silent and the narration not clueing us into her thoughts works really well for her. It gives her a bit of mystery (void?), lets us project into her a little which inherently makes her more sympathetic, and makes her very fresh and different in a comic that’s mostly known for giant walls of introspective dialogue. She’s a bit of a counterweight to the comic’s excesses, in that way.

JANE: I was born on proto-Earth, that half-finished dystopia mangled by the ravages of foolish leadership and endless war.

I legitimately don’t know if the point of this line is “Jane, who had a rich and privileged upbringing, is pretending she didn’t in order to score political points” or “Fuck Obama”. 

JANE: It would be simple to let this disgusting, vile, SHAMEFUL act of spiteful revenge turn us away from the blinding light of the sword of justice that hangs over us all--

For fuck’s sake.

Writers.

If you’re going to have a villain ironically monologue about how “justice” is coming for everyone, unaware that a hero is about to attack her, and the villain says that justice “hangs over us all”, then why is the hero attacking from beneath her? Why not have Yiffy, like, lass scamper up to the rafters and then be dropping down on Jane as she says this line? Wouldn’t that work stronger? A low angle shot of Jane saying justice hangs above us all, blissfully unaware of Yiffy in the background dropping down on her? Come on. It’s right there. 

Oh, okay, never mind. Yiffy is not attacking Jane, she’s childishly and ineffectively stomping on Gamzee’s coffin. That’s....much less cool than what I thought was happening, but it’s still okay for something to be not cool. I guess Yiffy, child of the two smartest characters in Homestuck, is a bit of a dipshit. 

I do like that Jane is just continuing with her speech as if nothing is happening.

Wait, they have Gamzee’s body? Isn’t Jane’s super-power raising the dead? I get why Jane isn’t doing that, but you’d think someone in-universe would’ve asked, unless she’s planning to do it right now. 

Does the president of the world and/or the Human Nation State not have bodyguards? 

Ah, there we go. Now the Sword of Justice is hanging above Jane, who’s realizing that the shock collar isn’t working as well as expected and that she might be in trouble here. I just had to be more patient, we got there eventually. 

JANE: After everything I’ve done for you--paying for your education, helping your parents cover up your existence from the world!

(Honestly, the sudden reveal of a hitherto unknown CHILD OF THE GODS should probably be a big deal to the people of Earth C, but none of them matter)

There he flies--in his gangly, purple, necrotizing glory. A phantom honk seems to hang above the congregation, as if from an echo of a time long past. A simpler time. A time before we had to deal with this disgusting clown’s bloated corpse every other update. He vanishes into the seething crowd, and we are confident that we will never have to deal with this asshole ever again.

The more the narrator opines on what’s going on, the more I question who the fuck it is. I thought it was Alpha Calliope, who was drawing weird stories with “lots of nudity”, but Calliope was all gung-ho on Gamzee’s redemption arc.

But also I kind of hate the Candy narration? I get that we’re supposed to be going “Wait who is this” and the constant editorializing is meant to call attention to this question, but let’s take it down 20% fellas? 

The stained glass window shatters inward, obliterated to stardust. The war is knocking.

Ah, so there is a war. And Jane stood in front of a giant-ass window on live TV in a church with no security in it? These are the dumbest fucking people, I swear to god. 

[janinereadsanimorphs]

Not gonna lie, the Jake formerly known as prince was a solid joke.

[cepheusgalaxy]

Ein

Kaiki

Lis

Arielle

Simba

Lucy

Lali

Lola (Simba's mom)

Kaiki's sisters and family (not sure if ill include them or just make room for the main ones?)

T&M

Totsuka

Megan

TWOTHT

Zaire

Miriam

Polaris

9GOH

Nameless guy

Sanji

Across

Danielle

Amanda

Project III

Quinn

Ezra

Aiden

LRRH cyberpunk (formerly known as SALRRH)

Amani

That pariah gurl

That character (poor and spiteful)

That character (miserable)

They're mostly just ideas

OH YEA AND THE PRINCE

Snow White

Rose

June

Iraê

Cauã

Katarina Von Waldeck

Philip Schneewittchen

Revolution One (it has a different title in Portuguese)

Grace

Grace's brother

Grace's sister

Grace's cousin

Uncle

Friend (?)

They have roles but not character if u know what I mean

Gacha Club One

Meine

Kyouka

Meine's mom

Meine's dad (aka whumper 👀)

+ all of the minor characters

Aaand the storyless ones

Jake Valentine

Petrichor

Edit: new project

Magical Gurls

The Virtues

Exageration

The Principles/Three Great Virtues

The Sins (cuz I have no better name for then yet)

Ok, so, a very sweet person I follow sent as ask about who were my ocs, and I took some time and decided to make a masterpost with a description foe each of them and a bit of context concerning the stories they're in but it's only Three Wips Long (cause I was dividing them by wip/universe) and its already so HUGE so i'm going to finish it and split it into eight or nine posts, one for each wip, and link each one in the Masterpost

Also I won't be able to finish it today BUT I will soon

[zanrai-kid]

What Your Favorite The Adventure Zone Ship Says About You

Inspired by @spritecranberryofficial, the artist formerly known as @doubleca5t

Taagnus (Taako/Magnus) - You believe that no force on Earth can destroy the bond between a twink and bear who are begrudging allies to best friends to lovers.

Magnus/Merle - Your favorite game of all time is Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator.

Merle/Taako - You see a three-way love triangle in every trio, even when two of the trio only begrudgingly tolerate each other.

Taako/Magnus/Merle - You heard the phrase “Tres Horny Boys”, and took it as a challenge.

Taakitz (Taako/Kravitz) - You describe your love life as “yearning for the sweet embrace of death”.

Taako/Magnus/Kravitz - You believe death is the quickest way to establish common interests. Also, you’re shipping TodoDekuIida.

Magnus/Lucretia - Your ideal relationship dynamic is jock/group mom.

Lupretia (Lup/Lucretia) - Your ideal relationship dynamic is punk/group mom.

Davenport/Lucretia - Your ideal relationship dynamic is group dad/group mom who both joke about adopting all their friends.

Merle/Lucretia - You just want a vacation from other people’s bullshit.

Merle/Davenport - You’re just here for some men under 5 foot.

Magnus/Johann - You unironically appreciate it when someone plays “Wonderwall” well.

Magnus/Lup - All of your DnD characters are Lawful Good, but somehow use Chaos as a means to an end.

Taako/Magic Brian - You are a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of goofy accents.

Sweet Flips (Carey/Killian) - You want a girlfriend who will kick your ass upon request; you also want to join in when she’s kicking someone else’s ass.

Blupjeans (Lup/Barry) - You believe “hapless nerds falling in love at band camp” are underrepresented in modern fiction.

EDIT for @lesbian-flutist  Lup/Lucretia/Barry - You believe in band nerd/math nerd/band and math nerd solidarity.

Sloane/Hurley - Your ideal relationship dynamic is the film Thelma and Louise.

Johnchurch (John/Merle) - Your ideal relationship dynamic is the film The Seventh Seal.

Istus/Pan/The Raven Queen: You’re a sucker for Mythology shenanigans.

Taako/Barry - Your desire for good things to happen to Lup is outweighed by wanting to see hapless mlm nerds smooching.

Lydia/Edward - This ship being incest is outweighed by how much you think Jesse and James are better protagonists than Ash.

Taako/Angus: Not even entertaining you clowns FBI OPEN UP

Garfield/Taako - Your ideal date includes a Costco trip, after which, regret ensues.

Sazed/Taako - Your ideal date includes a home cooked meal, after which, pain ensues.

Dracula/Taako - Your Tinder bio is “19th century femme seeks creature of the night”.

Magnulia (Magnus/Julia) - You just wanted good things for Magnus, and, my god, does the man deserve it.

Any Characters from (K)nights - I’m not even talking about an anime, and yet, somehow, you would still tell people to read the manga.

Any Characters from Elementary - You also tell people to read the manga, but you also recall the lawless days of Johnlock.

Any Characters from Fur - You reference deep lore in fandoms other fans don’t believe is real.

Nadiya/Irene - To you, “two people reincarnating as the polar opposites of their past life” is just “a second chance at love”.

Irene/Remy - You believe Rebecca Sugar’s best song is “Giant Woman”.

Remy/Nadiya- You believe in the powerful bond of two people trying to reign in a mutual friend.

EDIT for @tombstonedb Kardala/Minerva - You thought, “You know what’s better than one buff magic big gorl? Two buff magic big gorls.”

Errol/Augustus - You liked the Amnesty arc, but wish it had more ghosts.

Dylan/Jeremiah - You believe any modern adaptation of Romeo and Juliet should turn Juliet into a guy.

Errol/Dylan - In a setting full of cryptids, you hard swerve into Team Jacob.

Gandy/Isabella - You’re a sucker for a good meetcute, pun intended.

Ned/Duck - You haven’t recovered from the fact Gravity Falls ended nearly four years ago.

Ned/Boyd - Your ideal relationship dynamic is “Be Gay, Do Crime”.

Ned/Barclay - Your ideal relationship dynamic is “Bigfoot is real, and he tried to eat my ass”.

Ned/Victoria - You think the greatest achievement in cinematic history is the beginning to the movie Up.

Ned/Sherriff Owens - You wish having some yucks with Johnny Law was considered less frowned upon.

Duck/Billy - Your desire to get with the Mothman is only outweighed by your crush on Ryan Gosling.

Duck/Beacon - You just want to date a smug British person, and really, who wouldn’t?

Duck/Juno - You are a huge fan of Camp Camp.

Duck/Leo - If you were a couple years older, you would have previously shipped Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker at the time of the prequels.

Indrid/Ned - You are a monster fucker.

Indruck (Indrid/Duck) - You are also a monster fucker, but softer.

Indrid/Aubrey - You run a monster fucker blog, but are not a monster fucker.

Indrid/Billy - You are a certified card-carrying cryptid fucker, searching on Craigslist to get rawdogged by two in the back of a Denny’s parking lot.

Mama/Barclay - You exude rural boomer energy without the rural boomer mindset.

Danbrey (Dani/Aubrey) - You follow exactly 18 bi pride Tumblogs, but can’t understand why you have so many duplicate posts on your feed. Spoiler alert: they probably reblog each other’s posts.

Aubrey/Janelle - Either your ideal relationship dynamic is student/teacher, or you’re a Janelle Monáe stan.

Hollis/Aubrey - You are a firm believer in the power of calling people who go to the mall “posers”, while simultaneously buying your accessories at Hot Topic.

Aubrey/Jake - You are a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of sharing dank memes.

Hollice (Hollis/Jake) - You are a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of early 90s extreme winter sports movies.

Duck/Minerva - You are a firm believer in men 👏 getting 👏 pegged 👏

Sternclay (Agent Stern/Barclay) - You wish Inspector Zenigata and Lupin III would stop dragging their feet and commit already.

Any Characters from Inheritance - This is just the same joke as Merle and Magnus, except you post about Dream Daddy on Tumblr AND Facebook.

Deadbeat Dad/Anyone else from Inheritance - Robert is best Dream Daddy, Amnesty is best arc of The Adventure Zone. To you, these are facts.

Firbolg/Fitzroy - This is just the same joke as Taako and Magnus, but you also desire the fall of capitalism.

Fitzroy/Argo - You, Griffin, and Clint all simultaneously thought “You know what’s better than one fancy himbo fighter? Two fancy himbo fighters.”

Argo/Firbolg - You’re already pushing for a catchy ship name for these two. Might I suggest “Surf n’ Turf”.

Fitzroy/Buckminster - You have a whole blog devoted to scenes of swords under chins.

Buckminster/Leon - You think Arthurian legend can be summed up as “Several bros, sitting round a table, two feet apart from each other ‘cause the church said leave room for Jesus”.

Buckminster/Rainer - You believe behind every man’s facade is a girlfriend of immeasurable power, waiting for her time to shine.

Rolandus/Zana - You believe in big edgy backstory energy solidarity.

Rolandus/Rhodes - This is the same joke as Argo and Firbolg, except I am now suggesting “RoRho”.

Crimson (Crush/Jimson) - Your Netflix viewing habits are, exclusively, She-Ra: Princesses of Power and The Dragon Prince.

[animophsreaction]

You know, Ax, there's just the two of us now. We could probably drop the whole "prince" thing."; He paused, then added, "you could just call me "The Jake formerly known as Prince.""; "Is that a bit of humor?"; "yeah. A joke. Not much of one, but Marco isn't here, so I figure ..."

Animorphs: The Decision

[tomberensonsghost]

At the Berenson dinner table:

Tom: “Did you hear about Prince Jake?”

Jake: *knocks over water glass, clutches butter knife, narrowly resists the urge to jump to his feet* “What did you say?”

Tom: “I said did you hear about Prince? How he changed his name to The Artist Formerly Known as Prince? Why are you being so weird?”

[blogfellout]

Animorphs should absolutely be a prestige animated series, aimed at young adults, drawing heavy inspiration from the visual aesthetic of its source material, along the lines of “Invincible.”

It occurs to me that, along with drawing heavily on “Avatar: the Last Airbender” in several regards, the core referent for an Animorphs animated series should probably be “Steven Universe.”

Without going into a whole thesis, “Steven Universe” is a masterclass in managing character POV—much as the Animorphs books only deviate from the core six’s perspective if they’re being told a story by someone, i.e. the Chronicles and Visser—and its balance of long-running galactic war plots against small-scale earth hijinks… they would’ve gotten away with it, if not for those meddling homophobes.

Oh, and also, the same morphing field that lets the kids keep their clothes should also mess up electronic surveillance, something something z-space. And you can have the requisite episode where a side-character junior-X-Files-nerd is trying to bust them (like every other cartoon) but he ends up actually getting Yeerked (similar to the tragically abandoned plot thread with Timothy the Pulverizer in TMNT2012),

Imagine that you were put in charge of a modern, high-budget, well-written Animorphs TV series. What changes to the plot/characters/world would you make while adapting it? (Books that you'd skip, arcs that you'd rearrange, things you would add or outright alter...)

[Important caveat: I have ZERO experience in set design, directing, editing, camerawork, or any other processes involved in TV production, unless we’re going to be super generous and count the bit of scriptwriting and stage-acting I did in high school.  Ergo, these ideas might make no sense in practice.]

Animate it.  I would much much prefer to see an anime-style show to a live-action one for a handful of different reasons:

Battle scenes, morph sequences, and alien appearances wouldn’t be constrained by budget realities.  Although we’ve come a long way from AniTV’s practical effects, in 2019 Runaways still minimizes Old Lace (the sentient dinosaur) and struggles with her somewhat less-than-convincing appearance while she’s onscreen.  I’d like to see real-looking battles between exotic animals and highly unusual aliens.  I’d like to see Ax portrayed as a deer-scorpion-centaur with no mouth who also has complex facial expressions.  I’d like taxxons and hork-bajir that match their descriptions in the books.  CGI for a moderate-budget TV show can’t do that yet.

The characters’ appearances could match their descriptions in the books.  I don’t really care about AniTV’s Jake having blue eyes or Marco having short hair.  I do care about the fact that Cassie is described as short, chubby, dark-skinned, natural-haired, and androgynous in self-presentation… whereas AniTV’s Nadia-Leigh Nascimento is (through no fault of her own and 100% the fault of Nickelodeon) none of those things.  I’d like to see all of the characters drawn in a way that matches their canon racial heritage, and voiced with actors of those ethnicities as well.  For bullshit marketing reasons of bullshit, that’s not as likely to happen in a live-action show.

I’d want the show to convey the frequent mismatches between characters’ physicality and their personalities.  It’s an important motif of the books.  It’s part of the reason that Tobias has been claimed by the trans* community.  It’s a major plot point, lest new viewers think that the vice principal of the school is actually trying to kill his own students.  It doesn’t come off in AniTV, for all that I commend them for even trying (casting Shawn Ashmore’s twin as controller-Jake, portraying Chapman as straight out of Stepford), just because the nature of controller-ness and nothlitization are difficult to convey literally.  Animation has a lot of tricks, from deliberately distorted drawings to screensaver-like “mental space,” that can actually convey concepts like mind control or body dysmorphia pretty well — Alphonse in Fullmetal Alchemist and Aang in Avatar the Last Airbender great examples of body-mind mismatch and multiple consciousnesses in one body, respectively.

Use a cold open for every episode.  I am a sucker for Batman cold opens or any other opening scenes that pick up in the middle of the characters’ everyday lives, because they work so well to convey that there is a crapton of life happening outside of the plot of any given episode.  Several Animorphs books (#9, #14, #35, #41, #51) open this way, to great effect, and I love the way that it gives us slices of life we might not otherwise see (morphing to cheat on science homework, completing entire offscreen missions, having dinner with the family) and help build these characters’ worlds outside of individual episode plots.

Introduce James sooner (and have better disability narratives).  There are several aspects of Animorphs’ social justice consciousness that age okay (Rachel shutting down Marco’s constant flirting) or not well at all (Mertil and Galfinian).  One important way the series could update Animorphs is through having canon disabled characters like James, Mertil, and Loren have bigger roles and not resorting to kill-or-cure narratives.  Maybe James could come in sooner and form a Teen Titans West-esque team with the other Auximorphs so that he and Collette and the others could be recurring supporting characters with unique plotlines.  Maybe Loren could still gain morphing power, but remain blind and brain-damaged so that the hork-bajir need to work with her to figure out accommodations while sleeping rough.

Modify Jake’s and Cassie’s parents to account for the contemporary setting.  The fact that the kids so often disappear all afternoon or even overnight without anyone worrying just wouldn’t translate to a contemporary reimagining of Animorphs.  Tobias and Ax are each other’s only family on the planet whereas Marco’s dad and Rachel’s mom are both overworked single parents.  Jake’s family, however, and Cassie’s…

Cassie’s parents are so freaking cool in canon that they would definitely start to worry if Cassie went for an entire “weekend at Rachel’s” without answering any texts or calls.  Maybe there could be some scenes with them talking about how they have this super-mature responsible daughter whom they can trust not to get into trouble even if she does hate cell phones, but oh well because they’re not big on technology either.

Jake’s parents are… less cool, but they still try their best.  The show might explain their lack of concern about either of their disappearing kids through upping the hippie factor from his mom, maybe until she practices Free-Range Parenting.  (Why yes, it is true that Jake’s family would have the necessary privileges to get away with free-range crap while Cassie’s family would not, because yes it is the case that black families have been arrested for leaving kids alone for 10 minutes while white families are allowed more passes under the law.  Yes, that is a steaming pile of racist bullshit.)  The other way it could go is by having Jake’s parents completely checked out, which could get in the way of plots like #31 that hinge on them genuinely caring about their kids, but could also introduce an interesting dynamic if it partially parentifies Tom.

Include at least one Rashomon plot.  The TV series would by necessity lose the first-person narration, with all its brilliantly subtle shades of bias and misinterpretation.  One way to try and bring that back in would be to convey the same events from multiple points of view with subtle differences in the way that each person perceives what happened.  This could happen somewhere in the Visser One plot, with Rachel interpreting the scene as a straight Animorphs-vs-yeerks battle, while Visser One interprets it as Visser Three incompetently sabotaging her as Animorphs ruin her life, while Marco interprets it as a struggle to protect his mom and also save his friends, while Visser Three interprets it as the andalite bandits flagrantly plotting with Visser One, while Jake interprets it as Marco going off the rails from stress… and the only witness who has a sense of what actually happened is Eva.  Other possibilities abound.

Start with a plan to make one episode per book… and modify as necessary.  There are areas of the series I’d like to see expanded (#50 - #54 covers a lot of ground in relatively little space) and areas that I think could afford to be compacted (#39 - #44 feature a whole lotta nothin’).  But instead of adding or discarding an entire book, I think you could spread out many of the plots by simple virtue of TV shows not being constrained by first-person narration.

Certain books just wouldn’t get straight-translated today anyway (#40, most notably). I don’t think any books are so bad or useless that they couldn’t be modified into decent television episodes.

The ramping-up that leads to open war happens mostly in the background of #44 - #51, but a bunch of scenes with just controllers talking to each other could go into that process in a lot more detail.  This content could help fill out plots like #44 and #48 that frankly don’t have a lot else going on.

The entire plot of Visser happens over a nonspecific period of time between #30 and #45, so instead of getting one book we could get an entire running Yeerk Empire subplot with major consequences for the main plotline.

Similarly, the andalites’ decisions happen mostly offscreen but have major consequences for the Animorphs.  The consequences for the Electorate after the events of #38 could also run for a whole subplot that sets up their decision to nuke Earth in #52.

The biggest absence from the last couple books is Rachel.  Her last book is a friggin’ dream sequence, she acts out of character in #52 especially, and the narration order cuts off directly before giving her one last book.  It wouldn’t be necessary to add an entire episode just to rectify this oversight, when #51 could still be Marco-centric but also show her and Jake on their sabotage mission, and #52 could have the same rough plot but with a few scenes between her and Tobias thrown in for good measure.

Anyway, maybe the various Chronicles could be a handful of Doctor-lite episodes where the Animorphs themselves are incidental and Elfangor or Aldrea has the helm.  Maybe the events of the Chronicles could come out organically over the course of the show, for instance by expanding the memory-dumps Tobias gets in #1 and #33 or having Jara tell Dak’s story in #13 or #23.  The Megamorphses, on the other hand, could pretty easily just occur as regular-series episodes, albeit possibly as two- or three-parters.

Lean into the comic-book aesthetic.  Animorphs is written very much in the style of a graphic novel, from its “teens with superpowers save the world from aliens” plot to its heavy use of onomatopoeia.  Even the use of hypertext symbols around thought-speak hearkens back to the comic book convention of using pointed brackets around alien languages to convey translation.  The show could homage this motif through having dramatic transformation sequences, “uniforms” of multicolored spandex the kids use to morph, an opening credits sequence that emphasizes the power of each animal, and other superhero-comic elements throughout.

Have the violence be consequential.  To keep the examples from earlier: in Fullmetal Alchemist, as well as in Avatar, characters that get hurt stay hurt.  A character getting shot or stabbed is portrayed as a potentially life-changing event.  Characters’ injuries do not disappear between episodes, and even alchemy and waterbending are not portrayed as total fixes.  Characters scar, they become disabled, they spend entire episodes in recovery, they accrue trauma, and they do not shrug off life-ending injuries.  Animorphs helps to justify the idea that six kids could (mostly) survive (most of) an entire war against a friggin empire through making the protagonists nigh-unkillable thanks to their healing abilities, but it nevertheless shows that shooting someone will result in that person bleeding and screaming and possibly dying.  Having a sci-fi or action show meant for children isn’t actually a valid excuse for portraying violence as cool or funny or inconsequential the way that (Avengers Assemble, Teen Titans, Kim Possible, Dragonball Z, Pokemon, etc.) too many children’s sci-fi/action shows opt to do.

[swan2swan]

<You know, Ax, there’s just the two of us now. We could probably drop the whole “prince” thing.> He paused, then added, <You could just call me “The Jake formerly known as Prince.”>

AND THERE IT IS.

[ofsincity]

(  alexander skarsgard, male, he/him ) — a member of the de graaf  family seeks entry to the society ! duncan is a 39 year old prince who hails from the hague, netherlands,  who call them the farceur.  although their peers know them for being thoughtful  and  passionate ,  their reputation for being  a humorist and avant-garde might hinder their relations with current society members. while the de graaf family is known for being the dutch royal family,  the society’s hopeful  hyperion  is better remembered by houdini slipping free of his bonds, a crown untouched rested upon a throne,  a one way ticket to the u.s. of a, battles of wits with big business, and the pale line where a wedding ring used to be.  initial reports say their goal of  finally convincing his parents to let his sister succeed him in the succession line would be their first priority after being inducted, although who’s to say that won’t change ?

BASICS ;

name: prince duncan constantijn apollo matthias de graaf

gender and pronouns: cis male, he/him

age: thirty-nine (born 1 october, 1980 — palace of noordeinde, the hague, netherlands)

nicknames: duncan donuts, sometimes. or princeling.

zodiac sign: libra

orientations: bisexual / biromantic

nationality: dutch

religion: atheist (formerly catholic)

neuroses: none

HISTORY ;

hometown: the hague, netherlands

father: bram levi de graaf

mother: mila sophie de graaf

siblings: @ofivana​ (younger sister)

educational background: global affairs at yale; he finished it because he wanted to stay in america. not because he was genuinely invested.

languages spoken: dutch, english, italian, german, french

occupational history: he’s currently a philanthropist and a showrunner / comedian who up until recently lived in basin city, washington state.

achievement: getting his show on the air!

THE SOCIETY ;

codename: hyperion

meaning: he was the titan of heavenly light, and is rarely mentioned during depictions of the titanomachy. he’s not here to join a side or to start fights, he’s here to support his sister ivy and his (ex-) wife, phoebe.

traditionalist or reformist: reformist

goals in the society: convince the de graafs to give the throne to ivy; help more people victimised by people as rich as the society’s members; get his show a bigger platform; have a good time

opinion on the society: ivy thinks it’s important so that’s good enough for duncan. he just wishes it would do more with its insane ability to help others.

PERSONALITY ;

mbti: esfp-a

enneagram: two, with a three wing

temperament: sanguine

hogwarts house: gryffindor

inspirations: michael carter from marvel’s agent carter, joe lycett / hugo boss, jake peralta from nbc’s brooklyn nine-nine, lee scoresby from his dark materials

tropes: tbd

YOUR MUSE AS ;

a piece of art: my bed by tracey emin

a song: the tales of lee scoresby by lorne balfe

a book: what we owe to each other by t.m. scanlon

a movie: eternal sunshine of the spotless mind

a tv show: the good place

a historical era: the sixties, probably.

a historical figure: edward viii

a colour: cornflower

an animal: a golden retriever. honestly.

YOUR MUSE’S DREAM ;

job: not being crown prince anymore. maybe a lawyer of some kind so he could really help people in a bind. 

vacation: he would love to go to the gold coast.

day: the day they tell him they’ve given in and given the throne to ivy, plus a healthy helping of chips with mayonnaise and a flight back to america. 

as a child: to be king. he realised it wasn’t all what it was cracked up to be.

last night: inventing an even better type of coffee.

that they gave up on: being king.

that they have right now: another season of his show!

TL; DR

- duncan is the elder of two born to the royals of the netherlands and into a luxurious lifestyle, and as far as they’re concerned whatever he does he was just born to be king. 

- he’s tried everything. spent most of his time away from the netherlands and in the united states, barely passed his global relations degree at yale, started a show fucking over the capitalists for which his family stands, given copious money from the coffers for charity and started proceedings to get an american citizenship — but nothing has worked. 

- he even tried defying the marriage match made for him by marrying the cousin ( @braniacphoebe​ ) of the infamous duchess of norfolk ( @duchessnorfolk​ ) but since she was still nobility-related they simply approved of the match. 

- even when they divorced, for some complex reasons including an attempt to get the catholic de graafs to change the line, nothing seemed to manage it. they said they didn’t like her anyway. 

- his show is based on the british show joe lycett’s got your back! you should check it out if you’ve got the time, it���s delightful. by being in the society he wants to further this, and give his sister — the closest thing in his life — her dream, that she deserves. 

- until the show started airing he lived in basin city. now he lives in l.a. he doesn’t like it as much.

[kariachi]

Have you been recommended Derin, the-Jake-formerly-known-as-prince, Janine, Rjalker, Sarifel, gay-andalites, or tom-berensons-ghost?

Possibly? I don’t normally pay attention to my recommendeds, so just the fact I noticed I am being recommended this shit at all is a shocker