#the irony of it all will always be a special connection for me with that drama lol

[scarefox]

The fact that I wrote my bachelors thesis about Jongwoo and how Moonjo broke him, how Jongwoos mental health spiraled through the plot and how the creators chose to show it to the audience via audio-visual storytelling (<3) which ENDED WITH ME getting broken down by the dramas complexity, it's many meta levels and Jongwoo my beloved unreliable narrator shenanigans nobody can decipher. In hindsight it was the worst drama to analyze while I was already burnt out, anxious and depressed af during a global pandemic, but simultaneously it also was the best drama for that theme because it indeed is one of the best displays and metaphors of mental illnesses.

Already at the time I was aware of the self irony, still had a lot of fun with picking everything apart. It is now one of my comfort shows lol... even though the thesis phase was horrible and didn't end well. My profs said I had some good points and methods. But in the end I couldn't finish uni so I never presented the work and never got their full feedback. (grade was mediokre bad imo because I couldn't finish spell checks and formalities at the end which is one of the most important parts of a scientific final paper unfortunately.... and my profs were salty that I used easier to access online sources more than old outdated books but hey I kind of mainly wrote that thing for myself not for the public 🤷‍♂️ ....)

Anyways, one thing I wanted to share from my analysis: I counted the times and situations Moonjo uses "Jagiya", generally as an indicator for when he directly manipulates Jongwoo, vs how Jongwoos behavior and mental health changes over time.

Just to understand the significance of "Jagiya": Moonjo uses it kind of as trigger word but also to get this emotional trust bond with Jongwoo (despite Jongwoo says he hates it, he still feels flattered at first). He always uses it when he wants Jongwoo to do something or to think a certain way. He almost just uses it when they are alone. When Jongwoos boss and girlfriend are present in the bar scene, it's even the first time Moonjo calls Jongwoo by his actual name. With Mrs. Eom they call him (room) 303

(do not reupload or use without my permission!)

Well, and based on that I looked into how these scenes were shot and differentiating from each other. Like camera work, frames, colors, effects, sound, hard cut / soft cuts, transitions etc. IT WAS A LOT, way too much I didn't anticipate going into it. I only watched it once then, to keep the impression fresh, which is adviced for movie analysis of 'scene impressions' to not delude it by your own thoughts and knowledge. BUT THE THING IS... Strangers From Hell changes a lot when you watch it again!!! You find so much more details all of a sudden, when you know how it ends.

[choerypetal]

Envy and Passion / Coriolanus Snow

summary : being the daughter of Casca Highbottom had its advantages and challenges. As long as one maintained a private and noble demeanor associated with the family name, there were benefits to enjoy. However, the downside came in the form of her father's deep-seated animosity towards the Snow family. despite this, the Coriolanus Snow devised a plan to reunite her, foreseeing a journey towards greatness, enduring purity, lust and a lasting legacy.

ps ; read part two!!

english isn't my first language, so i excuse for small typo or error mistakes. ps : please don't copy my work or use it without proper credit! thank you

You experienced contentment as a student at the Capitol's Academy, all thanks to your father's insistence that you become involved in his work until graduation. It was during your final year that the announcement for the 10th Hunger Games came unexpectedly early. While you had expected to work alongside Dr. Gaul as a Gamemaker, you found yourself assisting during the reaping ceremony. It was there that you first encountered Snow. 

"No distractions." Your father emphasized, implying a prohibition on interactions with your classmates. Despite the difficulty in ignoring the palpable tension between him and Snow, a part of you harbored a wish that, without the animosity, a friendship could have blossomed. That's what you longed for—a connection you could deem as friendship. To everyone’s surprise, Highbottom's daughter being chosen among the mentors became the talk of the Academy, thrusting you into the limelight against your wishes. Being the center of attention was something you despised the most.

"Miss Highbottom." Dr. Gaul greeted you as you entered the room designated for the impending reaping ceremony. The enthusiasm in her voice hinted at some special arrangements for your role and, perhaps, your involvement in a specific aspect of the Games. However, such expectations shifted when you observed Snow's silhouette standing beside her. A brief exchange between the two suggested an ongoing conversation, making you contemplate to excuse yourself of interrupting further. Despite this, Dr. Gaul, with her customary smile, welcomed your presence and inquired. "Have you met Mr. Snow?"

Did you meet him? Undoubtedly, you had. Given your father's openly declared animosity towards him, it was clear that some past conflict existed between your father and Snow's. Yet, the perplexing part was why such strong feelings were directed at the son, who was merely alive and fulfilling the responsibilities of a dutiful citizen. That remained a mystery to you. "Certainly, I have. My father never stops talking about him. How he 'adores' him." you replied with a touch of irony. In the peculiar logic of your father, adoration seemed to coexist with complete disdain. 

Snow's demeanor appeared uneasy in your presence, yet he quickly regained confidence when he noted your affirmation. Whether you were suggesting this to please Dr. Gaul or for some other reason, he intended to assert his dominance once alone, especially with a member of the Highbottom family. However, instead of confrontation, he simply smiled and acknowledged the subtle comment. "I can't say I'd be eager to hear what Y/N's father thinks of me, let alone my family's name." He remarked. 

"Don't take it personal." You suggested, a smile playing on your features as you attempted to lighten the moment while conversing with Snow. It was intriguing to encounter the Snow your father so vehemently despised, and yet, here he was, appearing composed and not entirely matching the description your father painted. "My father has always had a soft spot for pretty faces." You added with a hint of irony.

In the realm of subjective beauty, Snow found it almost amusing to consider that you held your own private entertainment. Embracing your father's comments, you became a figure easily envied, yet the tension shared between them made it difficult not to be stirred. Fairly speaking, you stood out as one of the most attractive girls in the class, alongside Clemensia; the two of you complemented each other seamlessly. Described as cold as the winter’s snow due to the striking contrast between your fair skin and dark locks inherited from your mothers, you and Clemensia exhibited a captivating allure. Snow entertained the notion that if he delved even further into the profound depths of your eyes, he might lose himself completely—in love, that is. And he hated every bits of it. 

"If I were you, I'd be on my best behavior, sweetheart." He advised, seemingly oblivious to the fact that Dr. Gaul was observing. You could almost swear you saw her smile transform into a devious smirk, a subtle admission that she relished the spectacle before her—a spectacle of envy and hatred entangled in a mutual trap. "And what will happen if I don't?" You countered, striving to maintain control just as your father made his entrance, signaling the commencement of the reaping ceremony. His eyes fell upon you and Snow in close proximity, prompting him to be the first to assert authority. "Snow, to your seat now." He commanded. It was evident that Snow's disdain for your father resurfaced as he shot you a final glance before begrudgingly taking his seat.

Fortuitously, you found yourself seated next to him. In all honesty, you had orchestrated this arrangement, intending to be by his side even before your father's disapproving gaze hinted at a switch. However, it was too late by then; the ceremony had commenced, and your father's attention was fully absorbed in the mentors and assigned tributes. This provided you with the perfect opportunity to approach Snow once again. Leaning in, both eyes fixed on the screen to maintain an appearance of focus, you remarked. "You know, if it weren't for my father's animosity towards you, I'd be eager to get to know you."

Snow's piercing blue eyes shifted from the screen to yours. He blinked twice, as if questioning whether he had heard correctly. Highbottom's own daughter appeared to be permitting their adversary to draw a little closer. Or perhaps, in her eyes, he wasn't an enemy at all. He chuckled ever so slightly at the ironic situation. “And if it wasn’t for your father’s constant reminder that my own father was an asshole, I’d say that his own daughter is the most prettiest and fuckable girl I have ever laid my eyes upon.” 

A blush crept beneath your features, a delicate balance of beauty that Snow took pleasure in accentuating. You shared the same acknowledgment as he did, though you maintained a touch more class, unlike him. He tended to be straightforward and always in control, a demeanor he effortlessly displayed as he rendered his fellow classmate completely vulnerable with his words. Leaning in further, his fingers traced along your thigh, causing a tingling sensation at its touch and making your blush more evident. "To be fair, I've always had my eyes on you, you know?" He confessed. "Dr. Gaul wanted to make a proposition earlier and suggested that we work together for the whole semester, even having the lab all to ourselves…" 

“Meaning?” Of course you knew. Having the Lab to yourselves meant that Snow was going to make sure that he had every bits of fantasies piled through him just to have you all too himself. “Meaning, I’ll be able to fuck you endlessly. Maybe a distraction is what I do need after all. Can’t say that especially having the luck to be with Highbottom’s most gorgeous daughter.” 

That wasn't until Snow himself became entranced by your beauty, especially when it was his turn to learn about the tribute he was about to meet. "Coriolanus Snow." Your father's voice echoed with the same undertones of hatred and boredom, his disdain evident at the mention of a name from a generation he feared would worsen Panem. "District 12. Girl." Snow's gaze shifted from the screen to the captivating performance you were putting on. Yet, his current fixation remained on you. Leaning in further, he let his breath linger in the crook of your neck, his lips gently brushing your skin, and you could've sworn you felt a few pecks too. Fortunately, your father remained oblivious, continuing to list the remaining mentors. Suppressing a silent giggle, you pretended that Snow had said something amusing. "And how about..." He continued, placing a few more pecks on your neck. Delicately, you tried not to make your blush too obvious. "After the ceremony, I have to get some paperwork done at the lab. It would be a shame if I didn't have something to keep me focused." 

“Why of course, Mister Snow.” You admitted it so effortlessly, causing Snow's smile to transform into a cunning smirk. It was a smirk filled with desire, and longing. Snow yearned to experience the taste of you and hear you utter his name, just so your father could discover that his own daughter had unknowingly fallen into Snow's snare. From this moment forward, you belonged completely to him.

“Then, I’ll make sure to know who you belong to. Princess.”

[shirefantasies]

can i request thorins company with a reader with really long hair?and maybe they have a really long hair care routine or something

also i luv your work!!Hope ur doing well💓

Doin’ better these days 🤞🏻 we love hair imagines for the company hehe

Thorin’s Company When You Have Really Long Hair

Absolutely worships it: Thorin, Oin, Gloin, Bifur, Bombur, Dori

Teases you a little: Dwalin, Nori, Fili

Just happy to have you: Balin, Bofur, Ori, Kili, Bilbo

Whether you wear it down, up, braids, locs, one big braid, your hair one of your favorite features of theirs and they all have a different way of showing it. Thorin, for example, loves to gently comb his fingers through your tresses if he can and is always holding it out of the way for you. Especially if you are not a dwarf, he deconstructs a lot of gatekeeping he would have done in the past and devotes himself to performing dwarven hair care practices and styles on you. Oin cares not for how long your routine is, he will learn it. Add to it or alter it a bit, even, with some of his own products, and you can’t really be too frustrated because dwarves do have the best hair products in Middle Earth. He has the gentlest hands as he caresses, treats, and styles your hair, never causing you a moment’s pain. Gloin glows with pride, practically insisting on handling your hair so long as you trust him. He’ll brag to anyone that you have the most gorgeous hair he’s ever seen even if you aren’t a dwarf. Let him do it up in braids, it’ll make him happier than anything! It can be hard to connect sometimes if you don’t speak Khuzdul, at least for Bifur, so he throws himself into acts of service. One of these is taking up the trouble of your long care routine. Silently he beckons you to sit between his legs, his hands working through your flowing hair. Gives you braids that match his and kisses them when he finishes. Bombur’s beard is very long, so he understands elaborate care routines. You two take up a trade of sorts where you re-braid his beard and he treats your hair, perhaps even trying a new style if you like! It may take a long time, but Bombur is in no hurry. Especially if your special routine gives him time to have his hands on you and in the hair he can't stop complimenting. Ever the aficionado of beauty, Dori adores the great flow of your locks and all their potential. If he has his way, he'll try many a different style and even decoration, weaving the prettiest beads and baubles and flowers in your hair. Always reminding you to take care of yours, he'll half-jokingly sigh and concede that alright, he'll simply do it himself. But of course that is simply his excuse to touch your beautiful hair, of course!

Dwalin loves your hair, adores the way you've let your tresses grow in a fashion any dwarf would be proud of, but he can't deny the irony. Your hair is long, flowing, tumbling far past your shoulders, and yet he has none. By a choice as proud as yours, but still. How could he help teasingly asking you, "Ya sure you don't wanna look like me? Lotta weight off those pretty shoulders." Similarly, Nori teases you, dramatically sweeping it off of your shoulder, that it gets in the way when he’s trying to enjoy you. He loves being able to move it off your face or off your shoulder for a kiss, though, he just can’t help joking around at all the time you take with it and simply how much there is. Of course Fili is going to tease you, it’s part of how he shows he cares. Jokes about if you’ll trip on your hair someday or playfully taking it in his hands to use as a blanket are interspersed with compliments about your beauty and Fili jumping constantly between you and danger. He’s always offering to braid it away from your eyes or tie it up to shorten it if it swings near your feet.

Balin cares about the heart more than the body, so while he cannot deny that your hair is beautiful he would not mind one bit if you lost it all. He brushes or detangles it so gently, but his eyes are on you the whole time and his favorite part of your elaborate care is simply the conversations you share, idle or deep. As someone who doesn’t exactly align with the beauty standards of his people, Bofur acknowledges he’d be quite the hypocrite if he imposed them on you, especially if you aren’t even a dwarf! What he wants most is someone who can make him smile, and as he’s told you you could do that even if you were bald as Dwalin! He lives to reassure you and also enjoys hearing that you’d love him no matter what, too, as you do each other’s braids. Ori is not focused on appearances, either, practically not noticing your hair until he makes to sketch it out and realizes how impressively long it really is. Then he’ll talk to you about it, curiosity overtaking him as he asks questions like how long it took to get it like that, if it gets in the way, what you do for it… Flushes the first time you invite him to touch it, but from then on he’s addicted! Plays with it idly a lot of the time. Kili finds a little bit of beauty in everyone, so long hair or short you can catch his heart. He can’t help swooning over the way your long tresses, braids, however you keep it glisten in the sun. Teasingly reaches out to touch it, but never actually does until he has permission. When he does, though, expect a few playful tugs! Bilbo has even less expectations about your hair as hobbits don’t typically keep theirs so long. It comes as a bit if a surprise to him to see yours, but it reminds him of the beauty of the elves. It’s unfamiliar and he loves the unfamiliar if he lets himself admit it. He does, and from there he insists upon relieving you of that long routine of yours “now that I’m here”.

Taglist: @lokilover476 @fuckyoumakeart @kilibaggins @mossthebogwitch @ibabblealot @stormchaser819 @pirate-lord-of-narnia @datglutengoblin @letmelickyoureyeballs @mossyskinn | Reply/Message/Ask to join 🥰

[wonderfull-star]

My own idea of ​​Peri as an antagonist(updated)

Some believe that he may become an antagonist because of his disagreements and arguments with Dev, some believe that it is because of the childhood trauma after leaving Timmy (which I also like), but I believe that it will be connected with his ambiguous attitude towards Irep. As I wrote in previous post, Peri and Irep have a special connection with each other than other fairies and anti fairies. Irep in the original cartoon series played the role of "cartoon villain". However, everything Irep/Foop did goes downhill. And not only because the main characters and some other ones thwarted his plans, but also because of himself. Irep has never been and will not be pure evil, and with each episode and season he will show it even more(in the new show too I think?). The same with Peri, but vice versa. Almost the main protagonist, ready to come to the aid of the main character. Always had a charming trait that many liked. However, there is a tougher and more chaotic side to him. It feels like he can always sense his interlocutor and when he needs to stop in time. Peri also has another side of his personality, just like Irep.

That's why I think Irep will appear in Season 2, but not as a threat as before and not as an antagonist as he was at the end of Season 1. That is, I think everything will be like in the original cartoon series. In that case, there would be another great parallel that has already been present a couple of times in the new show.And I think in that case Peri’s and Irep’s "break" will come to an end. That is, they will get along again like they did in season 9 (correct me if I'm wrong).

Okay, it's angst and drama time.

My idea is that over time Peri will start to break the rules a little bit. And the first "break" of the rules was that he wanted to go back to Dev. And that was the starting point when he wanted to leave the "rules" on the back burner for Dev. And it will even go so far that he will change his style of clothing to be similar to Irep's.

Do you feel some irony yet? Yes, my idea is "role reversal". Peri from the one who was constantly worried about following the rules to the one who later began to break them himself. And also Irep who loved all this chaos and destruction will become more worried about many things and more reserved. After further rule violations, causes Peri’s sphere on a wand to shatter, releasing the accumulated energy and causing severe damage to everything around it. This was the final straw for Jorgen to remove him as a godparent after being given a second chance, saying "even Irep could have done better than you". After that, Peri felt betrayed and angry at everyone, including himself first of all. At that moment Peri believed that everything was over for him: “all his efforts, earned authority and most importantly – the trust and love of his parents.” And this gave rise to another emotional breakdown and a wave of magic. He started attacking everything in a row and the first one who stood up for everyone was Irep. Another irony in the style of "you became what you once hated"(Yes, I decided to take a little idea from season 7 of the original cartoon series.). In the end, it will all end with Irep becoming Dev’s godparent again, but already officially from Jorgen seeing how he tried to protect Dev, showing himself from the better side. And you know what? I see it. At that moment at the end of season 1, Irep liked spending time with Dev. And I see how he, just like with Chloe in the past, like Peri, will become attached to Dev. Then he saved Chloe from Vicky and now I like to imagine how he will also treat Dev like this.

So seeing how Peri’s once former enemy who tried to destroy him became a godparent instead of him will hurt Peri. He knew that he failed as a parent for the second time, caused great damage with his magic, and most importantly for him- let his parents down. Therefore, the only thing Peri did after realizing all this was start crying causing rain.

Now it's all over. Now Peri and Irep are enemies again, but this time from Peri's side. And now hatred for Irep has awakened in him with the only thought- that only he can be a godparent…

[riddles-n-games]

Let It Hurt

Pairing: Avery and Jameson Summary: A rewrite of Ch. 54 in the first book. Alternate take post first kiss at the Wayback Cottage where Avery is more angsty and doesn't let Jameson go that easy. Length: Moderate Story Type: Rewrite

ANNOUCEMENT: I'm starting a tag list. If you want to be included, comment down below! Also, to access my TIG master list of fics, here's the link to the expanded view of my blog: riddles-n-games.tumblr.com. Click the icon Hawthorne Vault, that's where you'll find hidden treasure.

A/N: Hi guys! I'm sooo excited to be posting this one. It's been a long time in drafts and I was lost with how to continue it but I just know I really wanted Avery to be hurt but accidentally didn't try hard enough to make Jameson stop kissing her again. This gets deeper in their feelings and so it kinda makes Jameson sound like he's his THL self but still in line with his TIG self as well. Enjoy!

Kissing him felt like fire. He wasn't soft or sweet, the way he had been while washing away the blood and dirt. I didn't need soft or sweet. This was exactly what I needed.

    Maybe I could be what he needed, too. Maybe this didn’t have to be a bad idea. Maybe the complications were worth it.

    He pulled back from the kiss, his lips only an inch away from mine. “I always knew you were special.”

    I felt his breath on my face. I felt every last one of those words. I’d never thought of myself as special. I’d been invisible for so long. Wallpaper. Even after I’d become the biggest story in the world, it had never really felt like anyone was paying attention to me. The real me.

    “We’re so close now,” Jameson murmured. “I can feel it.” There was an energy in his voice, like the buzzing of a neon light. “Someone obviously didn’t want us looking at that tree.”

    What? 

    He went to kiss me again, cupping my cheek in his hand and with my heart sinking, I sadly wasn’t fast enough to turn my head away as his mouth connected with mine. I couldn't stop the lone tear that slid down my face. The shock of his words only started to hit me then and I wished it didn’t hurt so much but it did, even as I subconsciously reciprocated the kiss. 

    For a moment, I tried to will the hurt away, to pretend that this was what it was like to get kissed by a boy that liked me. I hated that his body felt snug against me and how it felt right. We didn’t actually like each other in that way, he just needed me to solve his grandfather’s last mystery and then I’d be discarded. I was no Emily but then, I never would want to be her anyway. 

    She was a life lesson of what not to be; a spoiled little girl who was more trouble than she was worth, got everything she wanted and got away with anything. Even if something was most definitely her fault, somehow everyone else was responsible. Well, the princess fell from the tower at some point. But even though I was tired of being associated with a dead girl that was six feet below the ground in a grave, I was continuously being dealt that card to no avail.

    The biggest irony of all was that I was in the house where her presence was most felt, like the ghost of her was overhead, hovering behind me, following my every move. 

    When he pulled away, I pushed at his chest and turned on my heel, trying to put as much distance between us. Hearing him grunt in surprise was only the tiniest bit satisfying as I made my way back to the room. There was some muffled mumbling that sounded an awful lot like “deserved that” but even so I didn’t care.

    I stopped at the beds and looked from one to the other. Which was hers? As I took in every fine detail of the quilt, my hand subconsciously went to my chest, ghosting over the pattern of the wound. I was in a dead girl’s room. I was almost killed tonight. There had been wood in my chest, there could have been a bullet buried there instead. Jameson could have been hurt or killed; if the bullet had ricocheted, it easily could have hit him. 

    Both of us could have come out of this very differently if it weren’t for those “hadn’t beens”. But Jameson didn’t seem to see it that way. No, because he was busy thinking about a tree. Anger flared inside me at the reminder. I understood he had laser focus but I thought he had room for a little bit of empathy and logic. 

    My mind shot to alertness when I heard nearby shuffling until I realized it was coming from the bathroom and heard him step into the bedroom. I crossed my arms and kept my eyes trained on the bedpost in front of me, not letting myself look up when I knew he was right behind me. He sighed softly. 

    “Heiress?” I didn’t reply. Another sigh. “Look, I know I came off as in-

    “I could’ve been shot.” 

    “Pardon? I didn’t-”

    “I said I could’ve been shot.” I spun around, catching him blink in surprise. “Shot, Jameson. Do you know what that means?” I stared at him sharply for a long moment before he looked aside, something like guilt or shame evident on his face. “I just inherited your family’s stupidly big fortune which made me a target of basically everyone related to you and anyone else in the world that made me their problem. I could have been killed. You could have been. Don’t you get that?”

    He looked up again and tilted his head, giving me a small wry smile. “Don’t worry about me, Heiress. A bullet still wouldn’t stop me.” My jaw dropped; he was still attempting humor. 

     “A-Are you being serious right now? Do you hear yourself?” He stayed silent. “Oren just pulled a chunk of wood out of my chest and if things had worked out a little differently, he could have been pulling out a bullet. Same goes for you. And meanwhile you’re over here thinking about a damn tree? This mystery, us running around acting like we’re Mystery Inc, you figuring out why your grandfather chose me, it’s all meaningless to you if I die. And if you got shot, your family would be out for me, we both know that much. And then what? Not everything is a game, Hawthorne.”

    “Perhaps you’re right but that’s just it, MG. If Emily taught me anything, it’s that everything is a game. Even this.” I was about ready to throttle him. But I withheld and rolled my eyes, laughing anxiously instead. “Jameson, get real. Emily’s dead, I almost died, your grandfather is dead, you’re not one of the heirs, your family hates me, the inheritance is not in the rightful hands, and now someone is after me. This is reality for me and you right now. This isn’t in your head. Life comes with risk, I know, but this isn’t a game.” 

    That elicited a reaction. His jaw got tight and his eyes narrowed. “You don’t think I know that Heiress? Unfortunately, my grandfather raised us treating everything like a damn game from the moment we could talk and think. Don’t pretend you even know the beginning of my life story, we’d be here all day.”

    “And I’m not. But you are acting like what just happened is something to push aside. Newsflash, it can’t be. I can get you pretending that covering me with yourself in the woods, cleaning my wound, our kiss doesn’t matter but not my life or yours being on the line for some stupid mystery. That’s all I ask.” That’s when it hit me. “Why do you act like that? Like you don’t matter?”

    I caught the panic in his eyes when they widened for a brief second as he turned away from me and ran a hand through his hair, sighing deeply. He’d been doing that a lot. After a long pause he spoke. “Because I’ve done worse. There’s a lot of things from my past that I’m not proud of. Things with Gray, things with Emily, things with Xan and Nash, the old man…” I put a hand on his shoulder. He side-eyed me and smirked knowingly. “If you’re expecting for this to turn into a confession, you’re going to be sorely disappointed.” 

    This time I sighed and shook my head. “No, I don’t. I don’t expect you to say anything you’re not comfortable sharing. But Jameson? We’ve all done things we’re not proud of, don’t be so hard on yourself for that.” 

    He turned his head toward me fully and the smirk turned into his signature crooked grin. “Don’t pity me, Heiress. Self loathing is a very good look for me.” But I saw the sadness in his eyes and something about it gave me a hollow feeling, like he’d been holding it in for so long. Yet that didn’t last either. “I know what you’re thinking and contrary to what you believe, I deserve it. Call it my role in the family.” 

    My hand slid from his shoulder and swiped at the mussy hairs stuck to my forehead. Then, I sidestepped him to pace around the room. I wasn’t sure how much more beating around the bush I could take.

    “I thought that was my thing,” he said. I glared at him in passing. “What? Did I say something wrong?”

    “Can you just let me think in silence for a second? I mean, would it kill you to stop making everything a joke?”

    “Hey, this wasn’t ever going to be a pity party, Heiress. Not my style. I’ve been honest about that mu-”

    “Stop it! Just… stop.” I walked over to him and took his hands in mine. “Look at me, Jameson.” He did, surprisingly. I lowered my voice and spoke gently. “I know you’re not okay. I know you’re sad. You have been for a long time. It’s caused you deep pain, I’ve felt that way, too.” I felt him go very still and for a long minute, he was quiet. 

    He exhaled shakily and his eyes were averted. There was the rawness again. “I’m not very good at this, Avery. I’m terrible at hurting.”

    Avery. He said my name; that’s when I knew he meant it. I let go of his hands and cupped his face in mine which made him meet my gaze. I felt like crying just seeing his misery. “I know you are. You can take all the time you need. But you can’t fix the issue by avoiding it.”

    Jameson inhaled sharply and rose to his full height, shaking his head again and went to stand against the wall. “I can’t. I’m sorry but I can’t.” His voice had gone so quiet, I could barely hear him. I followed after him and while I stopped just far enough that he had some space, I still reached an arm out and placed my hand on his back. He flinched slightly but didn’t tell me to move it and I didn’t retract either.

    “Look, I’m sorry that this might be pushing you too far.” He didn’t say anything. “You can be mad at me like I am at you for tonight but in truth, I think you’re just mad at yourself.” His head tilted to my side and I saw his mouth open but I plowed on. “You don’t have to tell me anything about your past. You don’t have to clarify. We can pretend everything else is a game. But not this. You matter Jameson and hate me for telling you that but that’s something you’ll have to eventually admit to yourself. It doesn’t have to be out loud with anyone around. It just has to be you admitting to yourself that you matter because you do.”

    “I-”

    “And I know this sounds worse but there are people who care about you: your brothers, your Nan, your aunt, I think, and you know, I’d even say me. You matter to me, Jameson. I may not know too much about you but I know a bleeding heart when I see one, especially one who hates themselves. I’ve been there myself, Libby too.” That’s when I heard the broken laugh. 

    “You really don’t know when to quit, do you?”

    I shook my head. “Nope, why do you think I’m still here?” He turned around and leaned on the wall, eyes red and hair covering his right eye but he was smiling that crooked smile. It was raw and edgy but it looked good on him.

    My stomach did a little flip flop. Stop it, now’s not the time. I stepped closer to him, swiping at the forelock but when I pulled my arm back, he gently wrapped his fingers around my wrist and tugged me to him. I shuffled forward a little more till I was practically leaning on him and his other hand went to my hip. The hand that was entwined with his was resting on his chest and it seemed like he was mindlessly rubbing circles into the back of my hand, as if distracting himself. We stayed in silence for a few minutes which seemed to stretch into an hour. Finally, Jameson spoke up.

    “Listen, Heiress, I owe you an-”

    “I forgive you.” 

    He shook his head. “Nuh-uh-uh. Not so fast. You got to give your little speech without interruptions. Now that I am in the mood to talk, you want to interrupt? Tsk-tsk.” I arched an eyebrow at him and he simply winked. His voice lowered, “I’m warning you though, this might be a shitty apology.” Oh, I’m prepared for that. But I didn’t say that out loud, just nodded and waited for him to continue. 

    “Hmmm-ahh. Hah, I’m already failing this. I’m sorry for what happened back there and here. I know it was serious and could’ve been bad news for both of us.” He looked to my wound and brought a thumb over it, air tracing it but hovered so close to my skin that I could practically feel his touch. “I was worried about you, still am.” Then through his teeth I heard him mutter something more softly. It sounded something along the lines of “Maybe-something-always.” but I couldn’t be sure.

    “That wound could have been fatal and I am angry we didn’t spare that but it doesn’t change the fact you’re still here kicking. Avery, if there’s anything I can give you full credit for, it’s your tenacity. I admire that a lot.” I felt a smile tugging at my lips. “About the tree thing, um, that’s how I learned to push away all the bad stuff, by focusing on the next clue. Those Saturday games helped me learn to focus on one thing even when there was something in the back of my mind. And to your final point; you are right. If I got shot or died, Nash would find a way to bring me back just so he could whoop my ass.”

    I smirked at the last bit. “I’m sure he would. I could try to protect you, though.”

    “Heh, you can try. But I wasn’t wrong when I said this was a game.”

    “Jameson…”

    “Hear me out. This is a game, a dangerous one and because of the risks and stakes, this,” he pointed to my wound, “is exactly what can happen. People will be out for you, more now than ever. But, if you still want to find out why my grandfather chose you, then the reward is considered higher than the risk. However, that’s up to you. And I can go back myself because I know these grounds.” He stared at me intently and I knew what he implied with the unspoken words. He wants me safe. The feeling warmed me but turned to ice shards because I knew he still wanted to risk himself.

    I shook my head. “Jameson, you were with me. I don’t know if that person was potentially after you too. I don’t want you to risk yourself.” What if the bullet strikes its mark this time? I leaned my head against his chest but he didn’t let me be that way for long. He cupped the back of my head and made me look up at him.

    “Do you trust me?”

    “No.” He smiled.

    “Good. But do you trust that we’re a good team?” I bit my lip but nodded in the end. “I can take worse risks, Heiress, and I found ways out of shadier spots. I’ll look through the security logs to find a safe path to the tree, I can promise you that much. Also, tell Oren to block that fireplace entrance in your room.” I nodded frantically. Then, he whispered the quietest I ever heard him. “I know you don’t have reason to trust any of us but me and my brothers don’t have anything against you even though Gray was acting like you’re a conwom-,” I snorted while he briefly smirked but quickly turned serious again, “If there’s anything good the old man taught us it was loyalty to each other no matter the circumstance.”

    I nodded again for what felt like the hundredth time. Then, I carefully wrapped my arms around his upper torso and hugged him, burying my head into his shoulder. His went to the small of my back and I felt him rubbing circles into my shirt like earlier. “Thank you, that means a lot. I still think you’re an idiot for wanting to do this but I won’t stop you. I’ll even distract Oren.” 

    “Great, does that mean I can kiss you again?” I pulled away from him immediately and raised an eyebrow in question. He was smiling cheekily and winked. But his eyes held that same intensity when he was focused and were tempting me. Well? Will you? Before I could think twice, I pulled him down by his hoodie strings and pressed my lips to his hard. Jameson had no trouble catching on and he lifted me up by the thighs, letting me wrap my legs around his waist before readjusting his arms to my back. I also curled my arm around his shoulder and clutched the fabric of his hoodie at his shoulder blade. It was a deep kiss but it was sweet. Ok, so a bit sweet isn’t bad. 

    When we parted, I was panting but he wasn’t. What a shocker. Instead, he was observing my face and I could imagine what he saw; the cuts, raw and red, scratches from the bark. Before I could ask anything, he leaned close and pressed soft kisses to each one. I closed my eyes. When he kissed my forehead last and he pulled back, I opened them again to find him smiling softly at me. It made me smile too and I didn’t hesitate to lean forward again to give him a light kiss in thanks. 

    Unfortunately, at that same moment a hushed gasp came from the hall.

A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed that. See you next time. Also, I'm updating my master list of fics so the last few including this one will be there for you.

[alaynestcnes]

joffrey and jon anti parallels makes me crazy in relation to jonsa : joffrey = king/prince who's secretly a bastard, jon = a bastard who's secretly a prince heir.

both have Uncle/dads(joffrey is literal😭) wrapped in secrecy plots, joffrey knows who his mother is jon does not. they both THINK they know who their father is but its false.

jon has close and complicated ties with his siblings/family, joffrey has complicated but distant almost non existent ties with his family.

Sansa dreams of marrying joffrey the "rightful dragon heir" at the beginning only to hate him and sansa doesn't think much of Jon earlier only later in the books does it hint at them getting closer

looking at all of this its impossible for me to think grrm wouldn't pull an irony stunt with jonsa, considering the ashford theory and them having reversal roles in sansa's beginning and end plot points

the joff/jon anti parallels are so special. like i will die on the hill that grrm is one of the great literary geniuses of our time because of the way he interlaces storylines, plays into stereotypes to subvert them, mirrors and plays with themes between all his characters. you could dedicate your life to analysing them (and people have) and still always have new things to discover and discuss.

the ‘prince who is really a bastard’ vs ‘bastard that is really a prince’ parallel is fun on its own. but when you add an extra lens of both their (real and potential) relationships with sansa it’s enough to make me feral.

i think it’s interesting how grrm really reinforces the joff/jon contrast (and positions sansa as a nexus within this contrast) when they both (essentially) deliver her a head. joff, her perfect fairytale prince, gives her her father’s head. jon, the prince hidden in plain sight, beheads janos slynt and answers her prayers. though this isn’t known to either of them, it’s an interesting connection that i find hard to believe was coincidental by grrm. the head joff gave her fractured her dreams and belief in songs/hope. maybe when she learns about the head jon (inadvertently) gave her, it will contrast again with joff, by reigniting a sense of hope and love….

it would be such a compelling way to bookend sansa’s romantic experience.

[rex-shadao]

The Lonely End of Belos

Or why Hunter, Caleb, Evelyn, Lilith, Collector, or anyone that Belos personally wronged didn't get to be the witness to his demise.

I admit, I was a bit unsatisfied with Belos' demise. After all the build up with Caleb hallucinations and Grimwalker bones, I thought he would fall into the graveyard pit, see the ghosts, and realizing all too late it's his fault before he melts into a pile of bones.

Prior to that, before Thanks to Them, I speculated on Belos' fate would be him being hunted down by an angry mob of humans led by Jacob Hopkins believing him to be some kind of cryptid monster either threatening the town... or offer a rare opportunity to get rich on the news. And then he falls apart like an animal.

And when Watching and Dreaming trailer hinted at Belos possessing the Titan, I wondered how they were going to defeat Belos without resorting to revenge or poetic irony (since Belos is this big final boss that the heroes would blow up like with the core). I thought perhaps they would turn Belos into a Palisman tree and make him give back all the Palisman he devoured in a twisted form of redemption. Perhaps they'll remind him of his past and start a mental collapse that causes him to lose control of the Titan as he sees images of Caleb. I was pretty sure Caleb would show up just before Belos dies, giving him the realization that he's damned.

But his actual demise... feels empty. He did fall apart as I expected and there's sense of loneliness in his demise, but... no Caleb. No Evelyn. Nothing hinting to his past. Heck, I don't think the name Philip is even brought up once. It feels like we've been cheated out of a cathartic demise, and I spent the hours since the special aired trying to make sense of this choice and why. Why is there no Wittebane lore.

And ultimately, I make this conclusion:

Belos refused to open up about his past. It's quite telling the Collector spilled everything of his Freudian Excuse from being bullied by the Archivists to being wrongfully imprisoned by King's Dad to his desire for friends and being accepted. Him opening up communications of his insecurities allowed Luz, Eda, and King to empathize and help him. To teach him kindness and forgiveness. To teach him the value of life through death. And through their teachings does the Collector become better and ultimately redeemed.

But Belos? We know he had a traumatic past and a lot of insecurities with his brother. We know he's a lot like Luz and the Collector when he was a child. But unlike them, he never opened up about his insecurities. He forcibly molds them into abstract ideas and rules. For the greater good of humanity. For the good of your souls. He always tries to make it non personal, thinking it makes him selfless and pure.

But what he ends up creating is a caricature of himself. A shallow representation of his former human life. The Hollow Mind portraits released this week on Twitter shows tragedy with the happy memories being free of scratches and burns. Those were the original looks. But in the actual episodes, even the happy memories were scarred and burned. As Understanding Willow reveals, if you burn the memory pictures, you essentially erase them from existence. This means that Belos barely remembers his past. Now that I think about it, Belos never actually used the word brother at any point. Just an old friend. At first, I thought he was trying to avoid triggering trauma memories regarding Caleb's murder, but now I wonder... did he actually forget Caleb was his brother?

Because if he did, then it explains why he never seem to make the connection that Eda and Lilith may in fact be the descendants of Evelyn and Caleb. He only remembers Evelyn's first name but can't remember her face or anything that would link her to the Clawthrones.

And then it hits me. Despite being the big main antagonist of the series... Belos has only one personal connection to our main trio: Luz the Human. Eda, he dismisses her as an Owl Lady outlaw who isn't important in the grand scheme of thing. And King, he thinks it's a weird dog demon, not a baby Titan. But Luz, he's obsessed with because A) she would help him learn the Light Glyph and find the Collector and B) she's the first human he has seen in centuries.

Thus, it is Luz that Belos focuses on the most. It's Luz that Belos wants to form an actual connection since Caleb's death. And when you think about those witnessed Belos' demise... Luz is the only one that Belos has any genuine interactions with. Eda, King, and Raine... they were all background pawns or obstacles, not even worth specializing personal grudges towards like he would with Lilith, Hunter, Evelyn, or even Caleb.

So in spirit, Luz is the last lifeline for redemption and forgiveness. And Belos blew it. He was so obessed with Luz due to her human status but he never gave anything about his past to her (Luz only got Belos' backstory from Masha). He assumes that being human alone is sufficient enough for speaking terms. And he choose the best looking human look for her: A non-broken nose Philip Wittebane. Just as how she saw him in Elsewhere and Elsewhen. The ideal adventurer and hero of the 17th century. He evidently forgot that this bearded Phillip destroyed Luz's respect for him. This Philip lied to her and betrayed her and Lilith. This Philip was not the hero Luz envisioned. After all, the Philip she idolized in the diaries was clean shaven. He could have chosen that form... if he actually remembers that.

And then he sloppily try to make himself sound like he's freed from a curse, sloppily using the term dark magic instead of wild magic, and taking great pains to even say that he did horrible things, even under the excuse of a curse. He has no idea on how to make himself relatable when it's all there within him deep down. He just uses the surface-deep level of relatability and Luz doesn't buy it. And the boiling rain melts away that skin deep humanity, revealing a rotting ghoul barely clinging onto life, screaming of how witches are evil and unforgivable as he crawls to Luz. Notably, he still doesn't give a reason as to why he thinks they're all evil. We all know what it likely is, but Belos never confirms it to Luz.

Belos is virtually on autopilot, repeating the mantra of humans are superior and witches are evil. He never speaks about how Caleb was "stolen" from him by a witch. He never speaks about how Gravesfield taught that witches are evil. His memories almost completely erased by his self-inflicted denial, all he can think of is wiping out witches and saving humanity. A caricature of his former self.

And by failing to swayed Luz, he's completely alone. There is no Caleb now. No Evelyn. No Hunter. No Lilith. No Grimwalkers. No Flapjack. Just Luz whose connection he tries to forge is now a shallow parody because of how much he doesn't understand her at all. But she wouldn't kill him since that would give him a known company at his last moment. Instead he meets his end by those that he doesn't even see as personally important beyond pawns. Though they have a lot of personal grudges against the former Emperor and tyrant, Belos only sees strangers at the end of in his long life.

Philip Wittebane is nothing more than a faded memory of a bygone era. He died with his brother Caleb, regulated to just folklore ghost stories told in Halloween of Gravesfield. To some, they may never really exist in the first place since 1613 is a very long time.

The creature that resembles Philip is just Belos and he is little more but a parody of a man, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

[justagirlthatlovedtoread]

Under the golden hues of the late afternoon sun, laughter danced through the air as Tiffany and y/n shared yet another moment of uncontrollable giggles. Their friendship was a testament to the unexpected blessings life sometimes offers. Amidst the laughter, Tiffany leaned in closer, her voice a blend of eagerness and a hint of nervousness. "Hey, I've been meaning to ask you," she began, her words weaving the beginning of a fate-entwined narrative, "would you be up for meeting someone really special to me? I think you'd like him a lot."

Little did y/n know, the universe had its own plans, orchestrating a reunion with a familiar soul she thought she had regretfully left in the chapters of my past.

In the soft glow of the evening, the stage was set for a reunion that was as unexpected as it was inevitable. Tiffany, ever the social butterfly, had been buzzing with excitement over the small gathering she had organized, completely oblivious to the intricate web of past affections that was about to be untangled.

Y/n, with a heart cautiously mending from past hurts, had agreed to join, unaware that the evening would steer her straight into the orbit of Jonah, the embodiment of every dream she had reluctantly awakened from. The moment Jonah's eyes found her through the doorway, time seemed to fold into itself.

There she stood, a vision that had haunted the corners of his mind, never truly leaving. His mind raced with a mix of emotions, memories flooding back as he locked eyes with her. It was as if time stood still in that moment.

His heart, a faithful compass, skipped a beat, instantly navigating the tumultuous seas of love he never really sailed away from. The air thickened with a mixture of anticipation and nostalgia as Tiffany, blissfully ignorant of the depth of the connection she had just reignited, introduced them to each other with a cheerfulness that bordered on irony. The charade of first introductions hung awkwardly between Y/N and Jonah, a thin veil over the profound familiarity that pulsed silently in the space between them.

As the evening unfolded, laughter and light conversation filled the room, yet an undercurrent of words and glances charged with history flowed quietly.

Jonah, with a gentleness that has always defined him, found ways to be near Y/N, his actions speaking the volumes that his lips dared not utter. It was not until the twilight had deepened, and the room had emptied of all but lingering goodbyes, that they found themselves alone, ensconced in the quietude that finally allowed for walls to come down.

They spoke of mundane things at first, the kind of talk that bridges gaps and fills silences, but soon ventured into the tender territories of family, of his mother who still held Y/N in high regard, of the time lost and the healing it had brought.

In the vulnerability of their exchange, the love that had never truly left found its way back silently, whispering unspoken promises of new beginnings and understanding hearts.

The situation between Jonah, Y/N, and Tiffany is a complex tapestry of secrets, emotions, and unintended consequences. Jonah and Y/N's decision to keep their past hidden from Tiffany was rooted in a desire to protect their current relationships and preserve the peace within their circle. They believed that by burying their history, they could move forward without causing harm or distrust. However, the truth about human connections is that they are often more transparent than we think. The way people interact, the unspoken bonds, and the familiarity that comes with a shared history are difficult to conceal, especially from those who are observant and emotionally invested.

Tiffany, being a keen observer and deeply connected to both Jonah and Y/N, began to sense the undercurrents of something more profound than what was being presented to her.

The family gatherings, which were meant to be joyous occasions, became a tableau for Tiffany's growing suspicions. The dog's affection, the warmth of Jonah's family towards Y/N, the way his friends acted like Y/N's own, and the unmistakable chemistry between the two could not be rationalized away by mere friendship or coincidental familiarity. These were the breadcrumbs leading Tiffany to the truth, stirring a whirlpool of emotions and questions within her.

The culmination of these tensions and the inevitable revelation of Jonah and Y/N's past connection came at a moment of undeniable beauty and vulnerability.

The beach, with its vast horizon and the setting sun casting golden hues, served as the backdrop for Jonah and Y/N to finally give in to their feelings. It was hesitant at first, a dance of emotions and memories, but as the sun dipped below the horizon, they found solace and truth in each other's arms. This moment, although beautiful, marked the beginning of a new chapter, one where they would have to face the consequences of their choices, navigate Tiffany's feelings, and redefine the boundaries of their relationships. The path forward would require honesty, courage, and the willingness to face the complexities of the heart head-on.

After enduring a heart-wrenching separation from Jonah, Y/N found herself navigating a tumultuous sea of emotions. Their breakup wasn't a result of lost love or fading affection; instead, it was a sacrifice Y/N felt compelled to make to protect Jonah from an ominous threat. An external menace, a man whose intentions were far from benign, had insidiously woven himself into the fabric of their lives, casting shadows of doubt and danger. He had threatened not only to harm Jonah but also to tarnish Y/N's reputation with false accusations of infidelity. In a desperate bid to shield Jonah from potential harm and to spare him the pain of scandal, Y/N made the excruciating decision to distance herself from him, believing it was the only way to keep him safe.

The path leading Y/N back to Jonah was fraught with uncertainty and fear. However, the bond they shared, built on a foundation of deep love and mutual respect, was unbreakable. Upon reunifying, Jonah's reaction was nothing short of exemplary. He embraced Y/N with an understanding and compassion that transcended the pain of their separation. There was no room for blame or resentment in his heart; instead, he enveloped Y/N in a cocoon of warmth and security, signaling an unwavering support system. Jonah's actions spoke volumes of his character; he was not merely a partner but a sanctuary.

Eventually, Tiffany's unintentional journey of emotional turmoil and heartache finds a resolution, a peaceful closure that many stories strive to reach but seldom do. The crux of her journey centers around coming to terms with the intertwined past of Jonah and Y/N, a past that, for the longest time, cast a shadow over her present. It's a narrative familiar to many, where the remnants of old relationships linger like ghosts, haunting the corridors of one’s heart. Yet, Tiffany’s story takes a hopeful turn, illustrating a profound truth about human resilience and the capacity to heal.

As Tiffany navigates through the complexities of her feelings and the intricacies of her relationships, she discovers something transformative within herself. It's akin to the first rays of dawn after a long, dark night—the realization that within Y/N’s eyes, there lies not just the reflection of a shared history, but also the glimmer of understanding, forgiveness, and perhaps, a shared closure. This moment of epiphany is pivotal, for it marks not just the end of a chapter, but the beginning of something new, something promising.

In the wake of this newfound peace, Tiffany’s path crosses with someone unexpected, someone who resonates with her on every conceivable level. This serendipitous meeting isn't just about finding someone new; it's about finding someone who is just right for her—a person who mirrors her aspirations, complements her strengths, and understands her flaws. This relationship stands in stark contrast to her past, not because it’s devoid of challenges, but because it’s built on a foundation of mutual respect, shared values, and an unwavering support for each other. Tiffany’s story, thus, beautifully encapsulates the journey of self-discovery, of moving beyond the past, and of finding love that elevates and inspires.

[monstersinthecosmos]

My Armand Pain™ thought of the week has been circling around his fear of making fledglings and his general skepticism towards it and how most of the time I tend to relate it to his cult experience but this week I’m also giving credit to how bad Marius fucked him up haha. 🤗

Like idk if this outs me either as a weak reader or as a FAKE ARMAND FAN but I think, because of the way he talks about it that to me it registers as quantity over quality; ie saying it NEVER works or that it’s happened again and again makes me feel like he’s referring to his centuries as a cult leader and the experience he would’ve had navigating everyone’s relationships and interpersonal drama and generally being vampire HR and having to approve/deny requests to bring people in. Saying that it always fails/never works implies to me that it’s something that he’s seen many many times. And like, obviously it’s about Marius as well, but, I’m just thinking a lot about the Marius angle this week.

Because I think a lot about like, the parallels between Venice & the Devil’s Minion, like the way Marius treated Armand and the way Armand treated Daniel. I think also as a bonus that getting Marius’s POV in B&G adds a lot of depth to their relationship and I sort of extrapolate a lot out of it, for both relationships.

But thinking about Armand not wanting to turn Daniel, there’s the usual “You don’t want it, it’s actually a curse” stuff but the “Our relationship will never be the same if I do this.”

He’s seen it how many times in the cult--the barrier comes between them and it’s never the same. It’s another irony about immortality and the price you pay to live forever, or the price you pay to keep someone forever.

But I’m thinking a lot about how his relationship with Marius influenced it, too. And in both directions! Like, to Armand, Marius was this like majestic creature, a magician!, otherworldly and maybe saintly! Maybe demonic! Who knows, he’s a mystery! And he can’t read Marius’s thoughts anyway, so when he turns he doesn’t lose that. What he does lose, maybe, is the mystery of it. Marius changes from an ethereal mystery to Some Guy. And Armand is never his peer; he is not brought over and ever treated like an equal. Marius’s power over him shifts from simply being a preternatural creature to that fact that he’s old and strong, and he makes the choice to wield that over Armand and position himself as the master.

I don’t think Armand had an interest in treating Daniel that way, even if he entertained turning him. In fact, I think Armand yearns for an equal.

BUT THEN I wonder this all the time, I wonder if Armand actually believed Marius was dead, or how often he changed is mind about it, or how often he forced himself not to acknowledge it. Because Marius being alive means Marius didn’t save him, and when he starts meeting more vampires and seeing how they lose the magic & connection when they get turned, I wonder if he thinks Marius got bored with him. Especially with the narrative that he only turned Armand because he was mortally injured; I could see that festering to “he didn’t actually want to turn me.” (Put a pin in this for the family cycle that he does the same to Daniel 😦)

So it’s like devastating to read this towards his relationship with Daniel. And in both directions again. Worrying that he’ll be sick of Daniel, and worrying that Daniel won’t think he’s special anymore. The grief in turning Daniel isn’t just about him losing his life & mortality, it’s also that they lose their relationship as they know it. In some ways it’s like a breakup.

Armand is a person who’s lost his love ones and been rejected over and over lol. I can’t imagine that it hasn’t sculpted his sense of self worth. So even if he took the approach “I do not wield my power over Daniel, I will treat him as an equal, I will not be bored with him” I don’t think he can shake the idea that Daniel won't stay in love with him because the love is conditional.

There’s sort of an absent father cycle trope here, too, in that Armand didn’t have a good maker (for a long time) and doesn’t know how to be a good maker, and in the end it’s too frightening for him to even try. Their failure might be a self-fulfilling prophecy.

In the end like, I think this is very much part of VC lore that this happens to a lot of couples, but there are cases where they overcome it, too. I think even Marius & Pandora are a case of a couple that overcame it, even though the barrier became a logistical problem when they got lost.

But there’s this space I like to think about, post-canon, modern world, wondering how much they can learn and teach each other and heal and overcome it. There’s something about the series being OVER now that makes my imagination run wild about where else they would’ve gone, or how they might have evolved.

So maybe it’s not too late for them!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[melonteee]

Hey, I was going to make a post in regards to your Hancock video but I noticed you're on here but since you're on here, I cannot tell you how much I appreciate someone else noticing and pointing out what Hancock is doing as a character. I know it's nothing special to notice but, going by personal experience, nobody cares. For me, what Hancock is doing as a character and striving to achieve is incredibly personal and it's why I absolutely hate re-reading Amazon Lily; it's a reminder of my own past and how I essentially had the same type of conclusions as Hancock. I won't get into the nitty-gritty of what happened to me but it's great to see someone openly make a video about it in regards to Hancock.

Thank you so much, this really means a lot to me! One Piece and Oda isn't always fantastic in what it's trying to represent, but anything emotionally straining or terrifyingly realistic always feels very carefully explored and presented through each character. This of course includes the familial abuse of Sanji, Pudding and Katakuri (etc) in WCI, to the insecurities of self Robin, Franky and Usopp felt in Water 7, to the exploration of death and depression with Brook in Thriller Bark. There are a LOT more examples, but Boa felt so, SO lovingly created in what her story meant.

I understand the irony of how One Piece's women are drawn in contrast to the writing, but it means a lot to me that Boa was never SHAMED for her owning of beauty. It means a lot to me that there's not a single "she was asking for it" attitude surrounding Boa, as we see so very clearly this toxic attitude is turned upright as she's weaponised the very thing that objectifies her to the world. She's weaponised the devil fruit that was forced upon her, and not a single person suggested she be 'grateful' for the power it gave her.

It all feels purposeful, it all feels deeply sensitive and forgiving to victims of any circumstance, and the whole message with Boa is that it was NOT her fault. As Luffy does not look down on her for being a slave, as Luffy offers no "But-" comments, he is showing us EVERYTHING she went through was NEVER her fault - and accepts her as the human being she desperately wants to be seen as. The fact Luffy even told Boa she didn't NEED to explain her story or HERSELF to him is so god damn healing and will never fail to make me tear up.

ANYWAYS what I'm saying is, I'm very glad my Boa video connected with you, because Boa connected with me a lot too, and I really wanted others to feel that connection. I think the interpretations and understanding of what she went through and what it means is something really essential to understanding why her character feels so personal to a lot of us.

[power-chords]

It just fucking hit me that Shklovsky is also at the very root of William Gibson's Pattern Recognition. The excerpted text below from Literature and Cinematography, which HE WROTE IN 1923, reads like getting a bucket of water dumped over your head right now, at this very moment, 100 years later:

To do a proper study on the theory of cinematography, you would have to collect all films, or at least several thousand of them. When classified, these films might yield the mass of material from which you could formulate several absolutely precise laws. We witnessed the arrival of cinematography; its life is the life of our generation; we can trace it step by step. Soon the material will become boundless. It is depressing to think that we already know everything about the need to study contemporary phenomena in the history of art but never do anything about it.

This is not something I can do by myself. This matter is beyond the capabilities of one individual; it requires trained assistants, means and, possibly, experiments.

What makes people cry? What is comical? Under what conditions does the comic become tragic?

It’s hard to understand literature fully; it’s impossible, or nearly impossible, to give it direction. The cinema is still visible; we could create a film science, which could be completely mechanised. In 1917 someone published a carefully researched article which reported that screenwriters, exhausted by work, had concocted a machine that produced plots. Imagine a row of films wound on special spools. One of the reels contains people’s professions, the second one – countries of the world, the third one – various ages, the fourth one – human acts (for example, kissing, climbing a pipe, knocking someone down, jumping into the water, shooting). A person takes hold of the cranks leading to these reels and spins them. Then he peers through a special slot and reads the resulting gibberish.

The machine is rather strange, but apparently it gives American brains the jolt they require. I’m going to write more about this amazing aspect of cinematography: about the tendency not to motivate the connection between the component parts, its scenes.

But in order to do this, we have to go back to the subject of plot in literature. There are several types of literary plot. Almost always, as it seems to me, these types of structure are based on an underlying sensation of disparity, an irony of sorts that is resolved at the end. In its simplest cases, a plot may be defined as an elaborated parallel. And there is an affinity that exists between parallelism in itself and the so-called obraznost [note: the Russian is not quite equivalent to the English ‘imagery’].

For example, if we say of a great man that he is a ‘tower’, that is an image. As a parallelism, the construct would be as follows: just as a tower rises amidst the city, so rises this man amongst the people. That is, an image is like a parallelism with its first part suppressed. This may be elaborated into a plot.

Thus, in the simple types of plot, we encounter a phenomenon similar in its structure to the ‘image’ and the ‘pun.’ There is such a moment in the plot of Macbeth. The witches have predicted that “none of woman born” will kill him. But Macbeth’s adversary was not born, he was “from his mother’s womb / Untimely ripp’d.” Thus the fact of unnatural childbirth – by means of Caesarian section – had so astonished the anonymous creator that he appropriated it and elaborated it into a plot. The word “born” lies at the base of the plot construct. For Macbeth, it means “of woman born”; for the witch, it means “born naturally,” with the emphasis on the very process of childbirth. Thus we find ourselves in a sphere where disparities are created on linguistic grounds.

Parallel intrigues in a film are possible only on one condition: that they be connected by common characters. Actually, film uses both “mystery” and “parallel” extensively, but it uses them in its own way. Mystery is used in the cinema mainly for plot transpositions, the phenomenon whereby a work’s events are rendered not in sequence, but in some other order. Usually what motivates the transposition is a story. In film, plot displacement triumphs. First, we usually get several somewhat incomprehensible scenes, which are explained only later in the form of a story narrated by one of the characters. Note, however, that in the case of motivation by a story, it is not the story of an event, as in a novel, but a plot transposition in its purest form (i.e., it’s as if you snipped a piece of film off the beginning and put it at the end).

In that regard film is undoubtedly much stronger. It is much weaker, however, in the area of allusion, which in literature sustains one’s interest in the resolution of mystery. Film does not allow ambivalence.

…One curious trait of cinematography is its complete disregard of motivations. By ‘motivations’ I mean the common, ‘quotidian’ explanation of a plot structure. Film has almost no use for motivations. Maybe this is simplistic, but it seems to me that in film nothing is told; everything is shown. We don’t require detailed explanations of the exceptionally fortuitous turn of events that made possible someone’s rescue. The facts speak for themselves. We see a film and hardly ever ask ourselves, “how, in what way?" An ordinary contemporary stunt film consists of a number of engaging scenes which are connected with each other solely by the unity of the characters.

Nor is any psychological motivation supplied. One part of a film is indispensable, because in it the cameraman shows a view of a city from above; in the next part, a trained monkey performs; the third part of the same film contains a ballet performance, and so on. And we watch all of it with interest.

What is a film plot? An artful selection of scenes, a successful chronological transposition and good juxtapositions. The film script has turned both toward popular comedy, with its stock characters, and toward the adventure novel, with its highly developed use of ‘delaying elements’, with its wide range of casualties, drownings, desert islands and other tricks… Since ‘delaying elements’, with slight variations, can go on forever, the only way to end the screenplay is to have a wedding.

[marslovesdaisies]

Look what you made me do || P.S.H

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

Minors do not interact.

WC: 2.6k

Pairing: Mafia! Seonghwa x Mafia!OC

Warnings: Death, murder, violence, gaslighting, manipulation, mafia themes, weapons, angst, gore, eventual smut.

A/N: The question isn't am I late or am I late. It's what are you gonna do about it?

Chapter 3

2 years ago:

I had blood on my hands.

I could vaguely feel its stickiness gently running down my fingertips, like some sort of forgotten, korean version of lady macbeth. Though I didn't know who hated it more, me or her. A small voice inside me said it had to be her, she most likely did not know just how heavy the price of a life is. As if I did, I mused. I had thought I had. I had paid it regardless.

I numbly walked out of the hotel room and brought myself to find the bathroom ensuite. Purely mechanical movements got the water running. I washed the pigment off, rubbing my skin till it was redder than the blood. I registered feet shuffling outside the door and a knock. "Boss, should we clear out? The work here is done." I let a second pass. "Yes." "As you wish." With that, he walked off and muffled orders were now audible, no doubt to the others outside. The words as you wish kept playing in my head like a broken record, an irony that refused to leave me alone. As you wish. It really was as I wished it in this city, wasn't it? I had always loved to play god. I got off on the thrill of infallibility it brought me. Of course, my fall was long. And if matters were any indication, I was yet to hit the ground. I hardly tried to stop the shudder that went through me at the thought. Images of crashed skulls and swollen bones kept flashing through my mind, but the face wasn't mine. I retracted my hands, the automatic tap turning off. I dried them and opened the door.

The room was empty save for the smell of disinfectant. I walked to the entrance, my uncle's men all waiting for me to exit. None of them spoke a word to each other as I marched on and out of the suite, them following some distance behind. "Jihun." I called out his name without looking back. "Keep this under the covers. Exclude it out of your report to my uncle or father. If he asks, I was out moping." "Whatever you say." And there it was again. Words that usually stroked my fragile ego into contentment had the opposite effect today. They made my hackles rise, if anything. "Leave the twins behind with me." Jihun, the man this group of people answered to grunted his acknowledgement. We parted ways at the main foyer of the hotel, Jihun's group heading to the parking lot and my steps turning towards the main entrance, the twins following.

I threaded through the throng silently, the buzzing nightlife of the city greeting me and the two men accompanying behind. The twins, Daesung and Daewon tailed me often, so my asking for them to stay wouldn't increase my father's already uncountable worries. They were both lithe, dressed casually to blend in.

"Get two cars. I'm driving myself back later." I got along well with the twins. They were battle hardened, years of military service and habit of discipline obvious. Both specialized in close range combat, but were decent marksmen too. Physically, they were in their late twenties but death had aged their mind. They moved silently, didn't ask questions and had no issue omitting things I asked from their reports to my family. Unlike Jihun, who I was sure would last a week before his sense of loyalty made him confess everything he previously hadn't once shit hit the roof. The twins moved as a unit, and anyone hardly ever used their individual names. They were simply the twins.

Two minutes later, I heard heard two cars coming towards me. I got into the first without looking. It was Daesung. He kept his eyes on the road, the radio connected to his younger brother's car 2 metres behind. "Where to?" Daewon asked, the red blink of the radio coming to life. I thought the question over. Where did I want to be now? Definitely not home. Not in my penthouse either. Currently silence scared me more than my mother did. "Wherever there's life." I sighed.

Twenty minutes later, I was standing in front of a party. Some daddy's princess was having her 21st birthday bash, and the noise was almost deafening. I knew this bar and I knew the girl, though only barely. I had no intentions of gatecrashing, so I entered the gates without attaching my tab to her bill. I didn't drink either way.

The lone chairs were scarce, and lone tables nonexistent. The twins followed suit, getting to keep their weapons after a hushed discussion with the security and pointing a finger at me. Understanding the situation, he let them in.

The bar, Perles D'argent was a rare french investment on this road otherwise lined up with buildings owned by various Korean families from the underworld. The investors and owners both had formal relations with all of us, which made it a neutral venue. Both Daesung and Daewon took their places in the crowd, seemingly deciding to enjoy their nights because I sure as hell wasn't in the mood. They immediately turned heads in their direction as they went, their height and build drawing attention to them. I gave Daewon a knowing look, and he just shrugged with a half smile. I shook my head in return. My mother had always liked the twins, especially the younger one. She had once tried to set us up. Daewon had been horrified, not used to my mother's matchmaking endeavors. He had avoided me for a week later. I hardly felt sorry for him though.

In reality, I had asked the twins to follow only because I knew that would buy me more time till Jihun ran his mouth. He trusted his two subordinates and probably thought I was sleeping with one of the brothers. It usually played into my favor as people didn't enquire further when I asked for the twins, and both of them knew it.

I snagged an empty stool from a leaving patron and dumped myself unceremoniously on it. My mind had stopped registering my surroundings hours ago, the static of numbness the only sound I heard. My head was pounding. A lone shake of my head had the bartender look elsewhere. The day had been tough and my body ached without actually feeling pain. I was completely content with silently shutting every thought out and ignoring everything going wrong in my life, when I took a fleeting glance at the bar's occupants.

I saw him then.

Lee Jong In, sitting at a corner table, surrounded by two blondes and a brunette with his head resting in the blonde's lap. Completely oblivious to what was taking place in our city. There must have been a world record for the speed with which one could see red, and it must have had my name on it.

I was off the stool and walking in his direction without second thought. A hand grabbed me from nowhere and my temper soared, already having slipped twice in eight hours. It was one of the twins, who had followed my gaze and figured out where I was going.

"Leave me." I seethed at Daewon. His grip only tightened in response, dragging me out of the noise and into a less crowded place. " Let me go, soldier. You do not call the shots here." The younger twin didn't even blink.

"Iseul. You're far from in your right mind. Don't do something you'll regret in a week." A laugh escaped my throat at that, cruel and mirthless. "We're 72 hours too late for that, don't you agree?" His jaw tightened and he let go of my hand.

"Will it make you feel better?"

"Absolutely."

His expression said he knew I was lying, but he didn't say it. Instead, a snap of his fingers and Daesung was with us, looking at his brother and then at me, then back to his brother and finally towards the man that had started this conversation, now lapping at the brunette's shoulder. It clearly disgusted Daesung as well, because his expression soured instantly.

"What do you want to do?" "I want him to suffer," I looked at my hand, ghosts of the blood I had washed off still making it feel warm. "And I want him gone."

"That is hardly a call in your paygrade, Iseul." "Gone." I repeated with finality. The twins sighed in exasperation, Daewon running a hand through his dark hair. Daesung pulled his brother aside, clearing a path for me. "You know we have your back, right?" I nodded my head. What people didn't know was that I was friends with these two. Their loyalty was primarily with me, and my uncle or father second.

"We'll clean up after you. Just don't dig a bigger hole than you already have, Lin." He didn't need to remind me just how big a mess I had orchestrated, I wasn't forgetting it anytime soon. Still, with that warning echoing between the three of us, I made my way towards the shitty excuse of a man and a shittier father whose innocent son's blood I could still feel on my hands even hours later. And it was all his fault.

My mess could be dealt with tomorrow.

4 hours later:

I unlocked my car and got in. The party had long since finished, and I was far from the city. Lee Jong In was gone, a wet, soggy bed he had made for himself. The twins were gearing up to leave, their shared car behind mine.

A screen lighting up had me reaching inside the cup holder, my phone showing a power low reminder. I hadn't checked it for more than a day, I realized. I unlocked it, simply because I had nothing else to do. I had a series of texts that I ignored, but the latest two names were the only ones that actually mattered.

Wooyoung: Iseul call me back. [today, 2:02pm]

Wooyoung: WHAT THE HELL LIN [today, 1:32pm]

Wooyoung: Lin this better be a fucking joke [today, 1:29pm]

Few from San, minutes prior to his friend's texts.

San: You're. fucking. dead. [today, 1:23pm]

San: SHOW YOUR FACE. I DARE YOU. [today, 1:23pm]

San: Iseul, I am going to ask once. Where is she. [today, 1:17pm]

San: You're sick in the head. Fucking sick. You and your fucking need to control everything like the self-absorbed shit you act like [yesterday, 11:30pm]

Wooyoung: WHAT KIND OF A SHITTY PERSON ARE YOU??!!? [yesterday, 3:45pm]

Wooyoung: YOU BURIED HER??? [yesterday, 3:44pm]

Wooyoung: You have 23 missed call(s) from this user [received yesterday, 12:24pm]

San: You have 87 missed call(s) from this user [received today, 9:40 pm]

Wooyoung: Last call(s)- today, 6:14pm

San: Last call(s)-today, 9:00am

Every text was more desperate than the last, and my heart ached some more with every word I read. I didn't know if she would have forgiven me. The one person I had done all of this for. Someone whose secret I would die protecting, especially from Choi San. And someone she had now left behind, someone I would love enough for both of us.

Distractedly, I scrolled up some more. The older messages didn't even make sense, gibberish strung together by no doubt shaking hands. I closed the chat midway, not wanting to read further. It was no use anyway. Choi San may have loved my best friend, but this was my call to make. I switched the device off and threw it back in the cup holder. The gates of the cemetery outside glinted like a sharp knife, and I was tempted to get out of my car to see if it actually did draw blood. I deserved that pain at least. It would serve as a good reminder of my mortality.

My head leaned against the steering wheel, eyes closing for some time. The thought of the incident which had started these three days of absolute horror refusing to now stay suppressed in my head. My hands had started shaking on the sides of the steering wheel and I could feel the salty tears lining my eyelids as I opened them again, now freely flowing which I had held in for a long time.

Mirah was my gentle half. My closest friend. My confidante. The only one who kept me in line, my everything. And now she was gone.

I had buried my now dead best friend less than 24 hours ago.

Present:

"Then why don't we start by you telling us what exactly happened between you and Lee Jong In's son two years ago?"

Seonghwa's question echoed through the room as he himself lounged on the chair, relaxed and looking totally in control.

"Why do you care?"

"Answer the question, Lin. I am not a patient man."

I gritted my teeth. Who did he think he was? "Listen, Park. I don't know what you want. I don't want to know what you want. I don't know what Lee Jong In wanted when he sent me that invitation. I have no idea what happened to his son," I took a look at everyone in the room. "And I am not going to speak a single word or answer any further questions before I get out of this chair. So spare me this stupid display of power. I want no part in whatever game you are trying to start."

He stared me dead in the eye for what felt like an eternity. "Twenty minutes. I will give you twenty minutes to gather your bearings before my man escorts you."

"The way I see it, you want information that only I can provide. So, Mr. Park," I leaned forward, tone completely serious. "I would be far more accommodating to me than you are currently being. "

He didn't even dignify my outburst with a response, he gracefully got up from his chair like it was some throne, buttoned his suit and left the room without a glance in long strides. I watched him go with hooded eyes, massaging my wrists and running my hands through my hair in an effort to civilize them. Yunho and Mingi left next, the latter saying something in a hushed voice.

I got up on shaky legs, steadying myself against the chair as I buttoned my shirt, the hints of a tattoo on my torso that Seonghwa had been staring at vanishing underneath as I finished dressing. San's furious expression had turned into unreadable, Wooyoung nudging him to move with his own jaw clenched. Kang's face was closed off as usual as he averted his eyes to give me privacy. I scoffed internally. He had my phone casually in his pocket while he offered slivers of mercy to me, acting like some Victorian gentleman.

"Iseul."

Kim Hongjoong was still inside, his expression one of contemplation. I raised my brow at him.

"Have you met Seonghwa before?" Huh. I met his question with silence as I started to walk out. His extended hand stopped me, but his expression was what made me want to find out more. "I know who he is." I said to him after a pause, not understanding what he meant by his question. He nodded, making way for me to leave.

Hongjoong fell into some silent discussion with Yeosang, and I took the opportunity to get out of the room. The guard near the door immediately fell into step ahead of me.

With a forlorn sigh and resignation in my bones, I followed the man to whatever grave I had dug for myself with this man.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

A/N: This is shorter than I would have liked, but I didn't want to end it on some lame note. Happy reading!

[wrightingdungeon]

Sweet Scales 3

As Always MDNI this is a adult space

Pt.1

Pt2

MDNI Pt4.

Liam smiled at his sisters curled up in their beds as he gently shut their bedroom door, knowing full well that they would probably be up and about in a few moments. Glancing over at the couch, he blushed softly, Nessa was there absentmindedly looking around their home. They had gone to the beach for their first date, and it had been fun and memorable.

Now, here he was with his first guest to his home in quite some time. He had hoped their second attempt at dating would be a bit more special, but with Jun not being able to babysit, they had to make do with what they had.

“Coffee?” he asked as he made his way over to Nessa, trying to keep the space from growing quiet and awkward. “Oh, no thank you. I’m okay, but It's kinda late, isn’t it?” Her chuckle and playful tease made him feel calmer, easing some of his nervousness.

“Maybe, but a coffee addiction is still an addiction,” Liam said with a chuckle as he sat down next to her. He looked into her eyes, marveling at how captivating and unique her serpentine eyes were. Despite her being different, he felt a connection that was undeniable and comforting.

“So, um, you own a crossbow?” Liam asked, recalling a few weeks ago when they had both faced that menacing bandit. “Yep! Roza gave it to me,” Nessa replied with a slight smile as she fiddled with the edge of the couch. “Said it would help take some of the load off the guards. Came in pretty handy, huh?” She laughed, looking back up at Liam with a glint of amusement in her eyes.

“You can say that again. I haven't had that much trouble before,” Liam said, letting out a deep sigh. His mind raced back to that fateful day, vividly remembering the danger they had encountered. He couldn't help but think about how lucky he was that Nessa had needed his help. Having his sisters jump rope with a weed monster had left him with questions about life, but that's another story.

“I guess I know more about you and your sisters than you do me,” Nessa laughed, shaking her head in amusement. Her laughter was melodic, causing Liam to blush slightly. Realizing that all he really knew about Nessa was her name, her hometown, and that she owned a weapon. “Wow… I guess I suck at this whole dating thing?” he asked, rubbing his hair nervously, his voice tinged with self-consciousness.

“No, no, I'm just teasing you, Liam!” Nessa said, waving away his insecurities with a few waves of her hand. “You could always ask me now, we have time. I’d be happy to share more about myself.”

Liam smiled at her offer, feeling a wave of relief wash over him. He was glad she was so laid-back and approachable, despite her outward appearance. “I'd really like that. Maybe you can start by telling me about your Life? You said you are from Withergate.”

"Yep, born and raised there, but I wouldn't be surprised if they made me reinstate my citizenship if I ever went back," she said, shrugging her shoulders. "Didn't like living there?" he asked rhetorically, noting her obvious disdain for the idea of returning. "It's not horrid, it's just not my style… All dark and dreary," she replied, making a spooky finger-wagging gesture.

Liam had to bite his lip to stop himself from laughing or pointing out the irony. Her appearance could easily be labeled as dark and dreary, with her long black hair, pale skin, red tail, and matching red serpentine eyes. Most would think her a monster, Liam had for a moment when they met.

"Don't look at me like that! I know that look!” Nessa laughed, playfully pushing Liam's shoulder and rolling her eyes. “What? What look?” he laughed, letting her playful shove rock his body, feeling happy that they were laughing and having such a great time together.

"That 'you look spooky' look," she said, huffing playfully. “I don't think you look spooky at all. In fact, I think you look cute,” he blurted out faster than he could register, clearing his throat slightly when he saw her blush. “Just, uh, saying…” he added softly, trying to back himself up.

“Well, I think you're pretty cute as well,” she said softly, looking deeply into Liam's eyes. Liam gently placed his hand on Nessa's, leaning in, feeling the moment was perfect. Suddenly, a pair of squeals rang out, making Liam and Nessa turn towards the girls' room, where two little pairs of eyes were peeking out and watching them.

“Go to bed!” Liam groaned and laughed, pulling back. Emma and Elizabeth giggled as they slammed their door, pretending to go back to bed. Liam sighed, shaking his head in his hand, while Nessa's gentle laughter filled the room.

"I am so sorry" Liam laughed, looking over at her, embarrassed that the girls had interrupted their moment. "It's okay," Nessa said, still laughing softly, "They're just being kids."

"Yeah, but they have the worst timing," Liam chuckled, shaking his head again. He felt a mixture of amusement and embarrassment, but seeing Nessa's smile made it worth it.

"I guess, speaking of the girls, Elizabeth mentioned she had convinced you to stay?" he asked, sitting back up, recalling the day he had picked up the girls from the library. Elizabeth had been so excited, going on about how she had successfully persuaded Nessa to remain in Sunhaven so they could all play together every day now.

Nessa smiled warmly, nodding gently. "Yes she did, I was just passing by to see Jun when Elizabeth stopped me and asked if I planned to stay," she said, her hand cupping her cheek as she reminisced about that day. "She insisted we were friends, so I couldn't say no." She chuckled softly to herself.

Liam bit his lip, feeling a surge of anxiety. "Are you staying?" he blurted out, his own curiosity getting the best of him, would Nessa leave?

Nessa looked at Liam, raising an eyebrow at his question. "I do like it here, Liam. The weather is pleasant; I can sunbathe out on the farm whenever I want. The people are kind and welcoming. I don't see any reason why I'd leave.”

Nessa leaned towards Liam, a teasing glint in her eyes. "Why? Are you scared I'll leave in the middle of the night?" she teased, smirking slightly at him. "What? No," Liam laughed, looking away, embarrassed by his own anxiety. "I don't plan on going back if I don't need to, okay, Liam," she said gently, placing her hand on his to reassure him. Liam nodded, his gaze softening as he looked into Nessa's eyes.

"Are there any other interesting facts I should know about you?" he asked, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. "Well, I guess I can smell with my tongue," Nessa replied, laughing at the shocked expression on Liam's face. "You… Can you really smell with your tongue?" he asked, his eyebrows raising in both interest and confusion. He wondered if she was messing with him.

Nessa laughed harder, her tail gently slapping the ground in her amusement. "I can! It's like tasting pheromones," she said, wiping a tear from her eye. Liam looked down and sniffed himself slightly, relieved to find that he smelled clean. "You can smell me?" he asked, smiling self-consciously, despite having showered beforehand.

Nessa threw her head back in a fit of laughter, holding her sides. "Don't worry, Liam. You smell just fine," she reassured him, her laughter gradually calming to a soft chuckle. He watched in fascination as her forked tongue poked out, moving slightly as she tested the air. "In fact, you smell quite nice," she added with a wink causing Liam to blush harder. "But I also smell two little girls who need to go to bed," she said, her eyes glancing sideways towards the twins who were trying to sneak another peek.

Liam chuckled and stood up, a playful gleam in his eyes. "I'm gonna get you two!" he teased, launching himself towards the twins. They shrieked in delight and quickly ran to their room, slamming the door shut just in time to lock it in Liam's face. He laughed, knocking rapidly on the door. "You can't hide forever!" he called out, his voice filled with playful affection.

Nessa watched the scene unfold with a warm smile, her tail curling contentedly around her. "You're good with them," she remarked, her tone one of adoration. "They adore you." Liam turned back to her, still smiling. "I adore them too," he said, his voice softening. “You're a really good brother Liam.” Nessa's comment brought pride to his heart that she could see he did try his hardest to make the twins happy.

After rejoining Nessa on the couch and talking for a bit longer, Liam had one last question to ask. “Are you absolutely sure there's nothing else I need to know about you?” he inquired, wanting to ensure he covered all possible topics. Noticing Nessa's face turning a deep shade of red, he raised an eyebrow as she shook her head no.

“N-No, no other facts…” she replied hesitantly, not quite looking at him but past him, her gaze fixed somewhere in the distance. “Are you positive?” he pressed, genuinely curious about what she might be hiding and wanting to make sure nothing important was left unsaid.

“Uh…” She seemed to search for the right words, her hesitation palpable. Suddenly, she blurted out, “I really want us to be a couple,” her voice filled with both urgency and vulnerability. Her cheeks flushed even deeper, and she squeezed her eyes tightly shut, bracing for his reaction.

Liam felt his breath catch in his throat as he watched her, her heartfelt confession hitting him hard. He had wanted that as well, the deep connection he had felt with her, and the way she had bonded so naturally with his sisters. Without thinking, he grabbed her shoulders and pulled her close, crashing his lips into hers with a fervent intensity. He felt her stiffen for a moment before she relaxed in his arms, her arms wrapping around his neck while his hands found a secure hold on her hips. The kiss was deep but gentle, a tentative exploration of this new step in their relationship.

“EWWWW! THEIR KISSING!!!” Liam groaned, his eyes opening to roll back in exasperation as he heard the twins' teasing squeals of disgust. “I said go to bed!” he whined, looking over at them with clear annoyance at the multiple interruptions, wishing for just a moment of uninterrupted peace with Nessa.

The night ended well, with Liam saying his goodbyes as he watched Nessa slither her way home. He sighed contentedly before shutting the door, only to hear his sisters giggling behind him. “Emma, Elizabeth….” he sighed, giving them a ‘why are you out of bed’ look. “Liam and Nessa, kissing in a tree!” The twins started their teasing song, and he smiled groaning deeply. “Girls, go to bed.” He took their hands, trying to wipe the smile off his face, leading them back to their room. “K. I. S. S. I. N. G.” Blushing, he tried to shush them as he struggled to get them into bed again. “Go to bed, girls.”

Getting the girls to settle down was challenging that night, with the entire household awake and buzzing with excitement about his new relationship with Nessa. He couldn't help but smile laying in bed, knowing that his family was just as thrilled as he was about his newfound happiness.

[ambiguouspuzuma]

Picky eaters

"Table for three, is it?" the greeter asked. She was small, pretty, and African-American, with an accent that leant towards the former, but what stood out most was how young she looked. She couldn't have been much more than a child. "No problem at all. Come right this way."

"Thank you." Simret led them over the threshold. She'd been East African, once - but had long since lost her accent, along with every other detail of the child she used to be. The others followed close behind, impatient to be seated and decide on a meal: it had been a long evening, and they hoped to find something more tempting than had been on offer elsewhere.

"Here are some menus," the server said, doing her best to help with that. They seemed to get younger every time. Did she look fourteen? Twenty-one? Simret wasn't sure what either looked like anymore. It had all been so long ago. "I'll be back to take your orders in a bit, unless you want anything to drink in the meantime?"

"No, thank you," Simret replied, her mouth near-parched with thirst. "We're good for now."

This was the fourth place they'd tried, and they all knew the drill. Azmera went in one direction, under the guise of studying the specials board, and Simret went in the other, asking another table if an extra chair was spoken for. Tigist headed to the restroom. They had well rehearsed each pretence, having honed their patter over the years, although it had changed much in the past century or so.

They reconvened back at the table, now adorned with an additional chair. Simret was the first to report back.

"No luck. They're inebriated. Azmera doesn't drink... wine." She sniffed again. "Or fruit cider. Sorry, I haven't much of a nose for the stuff."

"Nothing from me either. They've just finished their burgers." Azmera had palmed one of the cocktail sticks used to hold them in place, and now used it to pick at her equally sharp teeth. "I can smell it in their sweat."

The relationship with meat was a complicated one. Strictly, in the human sense of the word, all vampires were vegan. They had a connection with the non-sapient creatures of the world - they could control their simple minds, and even take their shape at times - and were uncomfortable feeding on them. It formed a sort of food triangle. Humans ate cows, and vampires ate humans. But not when they had the taste of too much beef in their blood.

"This is the fourth restaurant we've looked at," Tigist complained. "I'm starving."

"You're the reason we couldn't eat at the last place," Simret reminded her.

Tigist's name meant patience, if she recalled correctly, and with no little irony. She'd been there when it was chosen. They'd each worn several over the years - so many that she'd quite lost track, although she knew there had been more since others started keeping count. There were too many records nowadays. They made it hard to stay in the same place, or in the same identity, for long.

They'd moved from town to town, continent to continent; travelling up through Transylvania, along the Carpathian Mountains; across the sea to Whitby, across the ocean to Manhattan. They were endlessly seeking a promised home, a land of blood and honey - at least for as long as it would sustain them. However rich the supply seemed at first, the flesh always seemed redder in the next town along.

"It's not my fault I'm allergic to tree nuts," she said. "Or that their blood was full of them."

"What about her?" Azmera asked, nodding to a woman alone in the corner booth.

Tigist shook her head. "I followed her into the stalls. Her blood sugar's way too high."

"Thank you for checking." Simret was Type 3 diabetic - the type where you develop it in death. "So, I guess that's nil for four. What do we do?"

It was hard for them to find someone they'd all agree on. They weren't particularly picky eaters, any more than the next clan of vampires - they just had very specific dietary requirements.

Their server chose that moment to return. "So... see anything you like?"

Their heads had dropped, seemingly in contemplation of the written menus, but now they rose as one - as if seeing her for the first time.

"Perhaps," Simret replied, treating the girl to the full terror of her smile. "Tell me... do you do take-out?"

[nickmaghighlights]

Nick Mag Highlights - #118 February 2006

Welcome back to Nick Mag Highlights! Would you believe it: Two of the greatest Nickelodeon shows crossing over in one half-hour special? For the second time? It’s a kid’s dream come true! Again! So let’s read all about it.

So yeah, sorry for the wait on this one. A couple of IRL setbacks plus taking on a volley of different big personal projects at once resulted in quite a hit towards my motivation. But hey, we’re here now, and I’m happy to get back into it.

Little sneak preview while I’m here: One of the things I’ve been working on is a new NMH Side Issue post! One that’s covering a mag that’s ostensibly part of Nickelodeon history thanks to its connection to a very prolific creative figure at the studio. Very wordy book though, so naturally both reading it and my analysis of it is gonna take longer than normal. And then I gotta do the research and fact-checking and yadda yadda, it’ll be ready when it's ready. In the meantime I’ve always got Nickelodeon Magazine to come back to.

Read along if you’d like, I think it’s the cool thing to do!

Neopets was still Viacom (parent company of Nickelodeon)’s latest big purchase at the time of this mag’s release, with them having bought it eight months earlier back in June of 2005, so it’s not surprising seeing the new blockbuster Neopets thing getting a big ‘ole two page spread right at the beginning of the magazine.

While Neopets is famous for originally being financially supported by scientology, it was Viacom's stint with the brand that actually got me to give the site a try for a short time (thanks to a Burger King promotion of all things, if memory serves me correctly). If they don't delete old, inactive accounts then I hope my T-Rex Neopet has been doing well for itself. They can’t die, right?

I love this ad. I’m not sure what kind of vibe they were going for here but it almost feels kind of dystopian with the polluted-looking air and all the TV screens weirdly protruding out every which way. Adding to that feeling for me was that I initially thought all that shrubbery down below was a huge audience of adoring viewers. Feels like something out of The Running Man. Super cool.

Always important to check out what Nickelodeon itself was doing around the time. I remember being really excited for Drake & Josh Go Hollywood, and seeing how it went on to gross more than 5 million viewers, I guess I wasn’t alone. Really bothers me to find out it’s just called Go Hollywood and not Go To Hollywood like I thought it was all these years, but I guess I’ll live.

And speaking of millions of viewers, this section also mentions the then-upcoming SpongeBob SquarePants special “Dunces & Dragons” (oddly not actually referred to here with an actual title), which grossed more than 8 million viewers.

Oh, and it’s Black History Month. Y’know just kind of a footnote slotted in the middle there. You'd think that'd get an article or interview, I don’t know. I’m sure Kyra appreciates the shoutout at least.

Woah. Imagine living in a pre-High School Musical world. Nowadays High School Musical is the made-for-TV-movie that baby made-for-TV-movies want to grow up to be. Now we’ve got two sequels, a TV spinoff (a TV spinoff that won five Kids’ Choice Awards apparently, funnily enough), and a mountain of films that tried to cash in on that success. Mostly from Disney Channel themselves. Camp Rock, anyone?

Funny to see the not-Jumanji family classic Zathura listed as Josh Hutcherson’s big recognizable role when he’d end up co-starring in the critically lauded cultural touchstone The Hunger Games just a few years later. And now he’s starring in that Five Nights at Freddy’s movie coming out this year. What a career.

There’s gotta be some irony to me sitting here and enjoying what I probably called the “boring parts” of the magazine back when I was a kid. C’mon though, this is pretty neat! I’ll run through all the topics real quick if you’d like to learn more.

Notes From Underground - The Great Stalacpipe Organ

Still standing to this day, the instrument has been refurbished a couple times since it was featured in this magazine. In 2012 a band by the name of Pepe Deluxé composed and played the first ever song exclusively for the Stalacpipe Organ, called “In The Cave” and featured it in their album Queen of the Wave. Give it a listen, it’s a creepy kind of beautiful. Must’ve been hard to record, too!

Playing With Their Food - The Vienna Vegetable Orchestra

The orchestra is still active and has even done a couple of performances this year! I doubt they still make soup from their instruments though. But to be honest even without having to worry about viral diseases I’m not too interested in soup made exclusively of vegetables that have been blown into for several hours.

Talk About Slow Jamz! - Organ²/ASLSP

Miraculously the performance is still on track. They didn’t play a note this year but the next one is scheduled for February 5th. The second slowest performance of the piece lasted 16 hours and took place last year.

World’s Hottest Tunes - Fire Organs

I can’t really find much about this one online, but I guess it speaks for itself, doesn’t it?

Take a look at a performance and try not to think about how hot it must be in that auditorium whenever he plays that thing.

Alright, it’s time for a confession. You ready to hear the horrible truth? …Okay, here goes:

I don’t know very much about music.

I guess it was probably a bad choice for me to write about a magazine themed around music. I got pretty far without having to disclose my lack of knowledge though, right? And in my defense, Nickelodeon lured me in with that Jimmy Timmy Power Hour cover. 

And I mean, don’t get me wrong, I like music. I love a bit of jazz now and then*. But still, none of the names here really ring a bell, so I don't know if any of these answers are ironic or out-of-character or so in-character it’s adorable or whatever. At least I can appreciate they spared no expense, they never usually have this many interviews. There’s even a third page with even more of them if you want to check it out. 

*My top jazz favorites are Kim Scott (Spotify) and Pieces Of A Dream (Spotify). If you were curious.

It’s really cool to see something encouraging kids to make their own mix CDs. I do kinda wish there was more than one cover though. Not everybody wants to chill.

Aw man, come to think of it, is Gen-Z the last generation to do personal mixtapes and CDs? Or is that still a thing? Regardless I kind of wish I had gotten into doing that when I was younger, it seems like a fun thing to do between friends. Plus my knowledge of music would probably be way stronger than it is now. What do kids do nowadays, send each other Spotify playlists? I guess that's a bit more convenient.

I think I've talked about these Pop-Tart ads before. They were in these magazines all the time so they must’ve come up already. I think I even gave them some credit. But as attention grabbing as they were I really still don't understand the intention. What's so appetizing about seeing these little guys just get absolutely destroyed all the time? Are kids supposed to think about how they’re snuffing the life out of their morning Pop-Tarts?

A very awesome and adorable cover we have here, courtesy of Vera Brosgol (author and illustrator of the award-winning Anya’s Ghost, plus Head of Story on Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio). You can check out her website to see more of her work here.

Nice little comic by Greg Cook. And wouldn’t you know that guy’s Wikipedia article has Nickelodeon Magazine mentioned in its first sentence? That’s cool. Also I feel like the man himself might’ve written his own Wikipedia article. The lack of citations and the way it’s written like the “About Me” page for a blog gives me that kind of vibe. If so, thanks for remembering us, Greg!

Now here’s some of that Jimmy-Timmy content I was promised! I was starting to get worried.

I find it interesting how well Jimmy and Timmy bounce off of each other, but I guess now that I think about it their shows weren’t that different really, at least in terms of subject matter, were they? In broad strokes they’re both kids with big egos whose imaginations tend to get them into trouble. And seeing those big egos clash is naturally gonna lend itself to some good comedy.

In regards to the art, I love the warm colors utilized here, it’s very cozy. The art throws me off just a smidge though. Absolutely no disrespect to Scott Roberts of course, writer and penciler behind this comic (and also creator of Patty Cake, a recurring comic for Nickelodeon Magazine that we… haven’t actually encountered yet on this blog unfortunately), he’s got some great work under his belt, and Timmy and his fairies look as to be expected here. But I do think it was a weird choice making Jimmy look like a Rugrat though. That’s not just me, right? The second page in particular has him pulling off some serious Rugrats-faces. Maybe Roberts was just doing what he knows, because he actually did tons of work on a Rugrats newspaper comic strip just a couple years before this.

Aside from that, Jimmy’s lab is a bit weird. It’s not the usual cave, instead being a regular room with windows and a checkerboard floor? And the exterior shows it to be a wooden cabin? Maybe it’s supposed to be the shack that’s built above the lab Jimmy uses as a secret entrance. Doesn’t really matter, I certainly didn’t notice as a kid, but it does make me wonder if the artist wasn’t provided that much reference material.

I love that snail comic so much like you wouldn’t believe.

Throughout the years I always managed to miss out on LEGO’s constant edgier reinventions of itself, y’know like Bionicle or that one about the ninjas. I guess it helps that I was never really into the toy itself. Unlike those previous examples though, Exo-Force here isn’t ringing any bells for me, but I do find it noteworthy how they were trying to go for a more anime/gundam vibe with this one, what with the Japanese affixed to the bottom of the logo and the faux-anime designs of all the main characters. Surprised to see this one didn’t even warrant its own cartoon, instead having its epic storyline played out through a series of commercials. And while I may like an overarching commercial narrative as much as the next guy (anyone remember those Goldfish Cracker commercials that did the same thing?), I bet you any fans of this line were sore it never got the whole TV show package like Bionicle did.

Oh right, Valentine’s Day is in February, isn’t that right? How many more years do you think that holiday has, you reckon? Nobody likes it. It’s just a reason to buy more greeting cards and do nice things for people that you probably should just be doing anyway and not need a holiday to tell you to do. Eh, still though I guess if you were in a small class at school this would be a pretty useful sheet of cards.

Skyland, huh? Can’t say it rings a bell, but it certainly looks cool. How did this slip by me? I even had this issue as a kid and watched Nicktoons, so I must have just completely tuned it out. I wonder why?

Oh, that’s interesting, it seems like it's all done with motion captured 3D animation. That’s fine, I guess, but that illustration in the magazine had me thinking it’d look a bit more like The Last Airbender. I’m impressed that they spared no expense on the story at least. This intro here can barely keep down its exposition to forty seconds!

So, does anyone remember this one? Apparently it was a French production that was licensed to different channels across the world, airing on Teletoon in Canada and CITV in the UK. I’d love to know if it was any good!

Pretty good smorgasbord of facts in this month’s calendar. And I guess a blanket theme is good as any other theme. Ooh, National Pancake Day! What a great month.

The Jimmy-Timmy quiz is fun, but I wish we could’ve gotten an interview with someone a part of the production of the episode or something. Obviously they’re not going to just interview some random part of the staff (although I’d find that interesting personally), but a voice actor would’ve been cool. I like how Jimmy’s answer considers Sheen a responsibility. Maybe all of Jimmy’s town-threatening inventions were just to distract Sheen from causing any real damage. We all know what kind of terror he’s capable of.

Wow, Bill Clinton! BC himself! Pretty impressive guest for an issue of Nickelodeon Magazine, I must say. ‘Course they got him talking about eating vegetables and exercising instead of something cool, though. It is good to know that being on the receiving end of the most widely-reported-on gobbling in the United States wasn’t enough to get you disqualified from having a spot in Nick Mag.

Another neato guest in theory, Tommy Tallarico is a pretty big name in the video game music space. He’s known for having a hand in loads of different soundtracks over the years and also allegedly being a pathological liar and taking credits for lots of other peoples’ work, which isn’t as nice as the former thing I listed. If you’re interested you can check out more info on the topic in this video here by hbomberguy, which basically runs through a lot of the lies Tallarico has told throughout the years, made as a response to him using legal pressure to get a sound effect he claims to have made removed from the online game Roblox. Oof.

But yeah, to give him some credit, this interview is better than ‘ole Clint’s was. At least Tallarico’s talking about the thing he gets paid for instead of vegetables and dieting. And that “What’s on Mario’s iPod” section is pretty good, but considering Tallirco’s track record it makes me question the legitimacy of his answers… I always thought Crash Bandicoot was more of a Dead Or Alive fan.

Oh god, not QZ again. I did not miss seeing this freak, I’ll tell you that. Why was anyone encouraging this guy with any more questions? He was getting kids names and addresses and we all sat idly by! I like how he sidesteps half the questions too, only giving a direct answer when it concerns protecting a kid from bullies. Maybe he’s not such a bad guy after all…

…Nah. Screw him.

If you remember these guys, you qualify for an Apple Jack’s discount!

I’m willing to admit as a kid I was more than willing to buy into whatever brands wound up on my TV as long as they had a funky mascot and even funkier commercials (and having a website that sported a suite of Flash games and cartoons certainly helped), but the hijinx of this Rastafarian cinnamon stick and goblin-looking apple particularly stick out to me as some rather memorable marketing. I’d say chalk it up to the distinct claymation style the commercials sported (which I’m pretty sure got replaced with 3D animation at some point, which kinda stinks). I found it funny how the character known as “Bad Apple” here eventually got redeemed and just became a friendly competitor that races Cinnamon to the bowl as opposed to the villain he’s presented as here. Did the marketing team really not see from the get-go that people might have a problem with a commercial depicting cinnamon and sugar as the good guy and apples as, well, “bad”?

Still, as much as I loved the commercials, I never actually had a single bowl of Apple Jacks as a kid. Shocking, I know, but my friends told me they sucked and I remember reading one particularly nasty long-winded online review that basically said the cereal is garbage, so I stayed away. I eventually did have a bowl or two of the stuff many years later, and… they’re alright. I will agree with this comic on one thing, Apple Jacks definitely do not “taste like apples”. In fact, they don’t really taste like anything.

And that’ll do it for this edition of Nick Mag HIghlights! Thanks for sticking around, and I hope you had a fun time going through this issue with me. It had tons of fun stuff (that article on the strange and interesting instruments and that Jimmy-Timmy Power Hour comic were my personal highlights) and hopefully some of you can get more entertainment out of all those musical interviews than I did. We even got a Billy C cameo! It doesn’t get more engaging than an old president, does it?

As well, I’d like to reiterate my apology for the time it took to bring this to you all, and I’m hopeful I can pick the pace back up and rebuild my motivation now that I’ve gotten this finished. I’m looking forward to finalizing my aforementioned new Nick Mag Side Issues post, I think that’ll be pretty interesting and add a little spice of variety to the page. Guess we’ll see!

Keep on reading, and maybe listen to your favorite song while you’re at it. I’ll catch you next time!

[hollowingearth]

Hi I'm responding to your post about being confused at the hopeful lyrics of NPtK! Here are my thoughts:

Firstly, I'm not sure if I agree on heroes and promises being a bad thing in the world of ff7. From my perspective, they've never really been a bad thing, especially since the narrarive allows Cloud gets to become a hero and keep his promise to Tifa. Cloud carries her to a safe place during the Nibelheim incident and then stops Sephiroth. Not to mention he later helps Tifa out with Avalanche and defeats Sephiroth at the end of the game. Perhaps you have a different perspective but I always thought the game has been pretty receptive to the idea of heroes and promises, just that Cloud was kind of a false hero for a lot of the game. (In contrast, the true version of Cloud is a true hero.)

In addition, there was a tweet on Nojima's twitter recently stating that he imagined Aerith wrote the lyrics to appeal to a crowd and that she rewrote the lyrics a few times. Ergo, they are not her purest feelings put to paper. Now, this tidbit doesn't necessarily help this discussion much, but I do think it's worth considering that some of the lyrics could be prophetic in a way Aerith didn't intend. Perhaps she wrote some of them more innocently, unaware of the irony that's to come... (food for thought.)

Anyway I personally think Aerith has resigned herself to fate in the song but that she still can't help longing for something better. She sings: "if only id never known, all the burdens i was born to bear, lived a life without a care in the world save for you, but that won't do." I think this line is exactly what shows the inside of her tumultuous heart! Yes, she's resigned herself to her fate, but even when she's trying to share one last date with Cloud and pretend everything's fine she can't hide the sorrow on her face from the photographer. She longs for fate to change, she just knows it can't, or at least not as much as she'd like. I personally don't think these are really contradictory...? I can see how you might, though.

Err sorry if I missed the point of your post but I'll just send this anyway! I do think you've opened up an interesting discussion though. :)

Ok, first, it's genuinely such a nice thing of you to take time to write this, it made me so so happy. After I saw that NJM's tweet I think I started to understand it much more. You see, my initial interpretation of the lyrics were that Aerith is singing to Cloud to reassure him to not fret as they are sure to meet again, and that meeting would be in the lifestream, as all life is reunited upon death into one single thing. So there were no promises to keep because it was a given that they would meet as everyone dies eventually.

Now that NJM said he sort of imagined it as Aerith writing the song again and again. Honestly, I agree completely with your interpretation. I mean, isn't her song kind of like a prayer, in a way? For a better future to herself? Aerith in the OG is unaware of what is going to happen to her, she's fulfilling her duty, but Aerith in the R-Trilogy knows. She doesn't know her future but we see that she feels the danger that she's in, Nanaki warns Cloud about it and his connection to the lifestream is much weaker than hers (and I don't think she would fully divulge it to him either because Aerith is a bit of a secretive character). I believe she's aware of what's going to happen (even if she doesn't know when) and she chooses it, it's the ultimate sacrifice. I wonder just how scared she was to take every step foward with the increasing uneasiness of her upcoming doom.

It's just very heartbreaking. Specially so if the running time loop theory I've seen floating around is true, actually.

Oh, also, about the hero thing. I still maintain my opinion, actually, though I think I'd like to explain myself better a little bit haha. So, from my point of view, FF7 subverts the idea of a hero or the notion of the becoming of a hero, at least, and I don't think it paints it in a good light. I question the notion that Cloud becomes a hero by saving Tifa because he puts her on a safe spot and then, because of his rage, instead of running away with her (and actually making sure she was truly safe, Zangan is the one who does that) he goes back and kills Sephiroth. That action only makes Sephiroth stronger and allows Cloud (and Zack) to be captured and messed with. He effectively made things worse there. If only Zack was captured and he didn't have to care for Cloud maybe he would have survived. And then, again, when Zack saves Cloud he is uncerimoniously killed by Shinra - the very thing that allowed Zack to funnel his heroism into. And also, yes, the party defeats Sephiroth in the end but Holy is what stops the Meteor and even then, humanity still perishes in the future. People are saved due to the mercy of the lifestream, the recognition of the value of life.

I guess this sounds like what I'm saying is "don't have empathy/help others" haha but it's not it, I guess I just think the game is interested on questioning the reason for their actions and showing how much of it doesn't stem only from empathy but truly from selfishness and the want for recognition. That's what I think for now, at least.