#the intro/prologue thing is basically just setting up the fantasy world thing of the play (as seen in the non-concert parts of the mv)

[ruvial-the-hunter]

hi! i'm lily grave. i've been running a campaign of Ironsworn: Starforged for some friends over the course of about a month now, and i've been having a fantastic time! i think it's a phenomenal rpg, and my players and i are having a blast.

that said, i did kind of go against the recommended way of playing. for starters, i'm GMing; the game is designed with solo or cooperative play in mind. i did a lot of meticulous worldbuilding, on and off, for what wound up being nearly a year; the game intends for you to pick up the book and get started in about an hour. i don't think this has hurt our experience — this is the kind of game i wanted to run, and the system i wanted to run it in — but I am curious what it feels like to use the Ironsworn system for unguided solo play.

so! since the original game is literally free to download, I decided I would go ahead and do that! welcome aboard the record of my solo campaign in Ironsworn!

Prologue, Part One: Reading the Intro

I'm familiar with the Starforged core book, so a lot of the preamble is about things I already know. That's a good sign! It should make this easier.

I'm going to use the default setting, The Ironlands. I'm already doing way too much worldbuilding for my active campaign; might as well go easy on myself. :)

Let's go over this setting's truths together!

Two generations ago, your people were driven to the Ironlands from their former homes in the Old World.

Not dissimilar from the Exodus from our homeworld in Starforged. Fun to see how this inspired that!

The weather here is harsh. Winters are brutal. The rugged terrain makes travel and trade difficult and dangerous.

Viking-coded fantasy then, I imagine. I can get down with that! I love a wintery setting, and I'm permanently down for hiking through dangerous terrain in games. (Death Stranding, my beloved…)

There are no thriving cities. Instead, Ironlanders live in isolated villages or steadings. Their homes are modest buildings of wood, stone, and thatch.

Oh, I like this. If Starforged is more Star Wars than Star Trek, then this is more, I don't know, King's Field than Tolkien. Apologies for the choice of reference, but it's all I had. Go play King's Field. I haven't.

Many areas of the Ironlands are unexplored and uninhabited except by the firstborn—beings such as elves, giants, and the wolf-like varou.

Very glad to see mythical monsters here! I've missed them in the very human-centric setting of my campaign. I was sort of looking for Solo D&D that plays like Starforged, and that's what I seem to be getting! Except that everything is collapsing and grimy and cold, which is how I like it.

Coins have little value here. Most commerce is made through barter and favors.

Okay. Yes, I like this. Ironsworn seems very against making you keep track of some specific number of money units while gaming, and honestly? thank God. Leave rigid spending math for the games with computers behind them. When there's humans in the loop, it's way more fun to just barter.

Some communities remain isolated and independent, while others trade in basic goods such as iron, grain, wood, livestock, wool, and coal.

Settlements work the same. Good to know.

There is a diverse mix of peoples and cultures within the Ironlands, even within a single community. You can envision your character and those you interact with however you like, unbound by considerations of geography, lineage, sexual orientation, and gender.

Cool! I'm hoping for some fantasy races as well, if you're willing to give them to me. Still, always appreciate when TTRPGs go out of their way to encourage you to be creative and inclusive when creating your worlds.

Communities sometimes band together under a powerful leader, but there are no kingdoms. Territorial lines are sketchily drawn, if at all.

Love it. I hate borders, I hate monarchy.

Large-scale warfare is unheard of, but raiding parties and skirmishes between communities are a constant menace. Some communities subsist entirely on raiding.

That first statement is begging me to explore how large-scale warfare might come about in a setting like this! Still, I'll respect that it would take quite a lot; people sound rather disconnected in this setting.

Spear, axe, shield, and bow are the dominant weapons. Swords are rare and highly prized. Some warriors choose to wade into battle clad in iron, while others trust in their prowess or in the strength of their shields.

I love this, because I picked the option in the Starforged worldbuilding questions that vows are Always sworn on swords, so everyone has swords in that campaign. Their rarity here will be a very funny contrast!

Magic is subtle and mysterious. Mystics seek to ward away the darkness through the practice of magic, but often succumb to it. Rituals are performed as blessings and to gain insight.

I might start looking for homebrew magic systems; I've seen a few floating around, and I'd love to incorporate a little more witchery into this universe. As it stands, I'll be starting with the core book before I decide on any changes or add-ons!

Supernatural creatures and beasts are rare, frightening, and dangerous.

But not unheard of!

And that's it. These are the bullet points at the outset of the first chapter. I'm liking this so far! No complicated thoughts yet, but a lot of threads to pull on. They hint here that the worldbuilding questions I loved so much in the sequel are forthcoming, but they first give us some notes on Iron Vows. I'll give you the shortened version:

Vows are sacred. You promise to serve or aid someone, or to complete a personal quest, and abandoning or recanting an oath is seen as a terrible, shameful failure. These oaths are sworn while touching a piece of iron; either a coin, a weapon, or a piece of armor.

Vows function as your way of gaining experience. Starforged adds some secondary legacy tracks that let you gain XP through forming bonds or making discoveries, but if I'm not mistaken, it's just vows in the original game.

We'll start our character with a background vow, which will inform us what their personal quest is, and a vow that starts the story we're telling!

A quick note that I will be using Iron Fellowship to keep track of my campaign! Forever grateful to the independent developers that make virtual tabletop experiences possible.

The next few pages explain the mechanics of Ironsworn, which I won't be going over in detail. I think the game is largely self-explanatory, and I'll explain the exact way action rolls work the first time I have to do one and so on. If you'd like to learn how to play the game in detail, the core book is free!

Prologue, Part 2: Character Creation and Worldbuilding

The book advises me that I can do worldbuilding first, or character creation first. Honestly, I have an easier time making characters with the world questions answered, so let's start with those!

The Old World. Selected: The sickness moved like a horrible wave across the Old World, killing all in its path. Thousands fled aboard ships. However, the plague could not be outrun. On many ships, the disease was contained through ruthless measures—tossing overboard any who exhibited the slightest symptom. Other ships were forever lost. In the end, those who survived found the Ironlands and made it their new home. Some say we will forever be cursed by those we left behind.

I love a plague world. Give me a plague world any day of the week.

Iron. Selected: Inscrutable metal pillars are found throughout the land. They are iron gray, and smooth as river stone. No one knows their purpose. Some say they are as old as the world. Some, such as the Iron Priests, worship them and swear vows upon them. Most make the warding sign and hurry along their way when they happen across one. The pillars do not tarnish, and even the sharpest blade cannot mark them.

Very spooky. Offers some cool religious angles. Maybe some cosmic horror elements to throw into the fantasy soup!

Legacies. Selected: We are the first humans to walk these lands.

I wasn't in love with the other options, and I kind of like what this adds to the mystery of the pillars we just introduced.

Communities. Selected: We live in communities called circles. These are settlements ranging in size from a steading with a few families to a village of several hundred. Some circles belong to nomadic folk. Some powerful circles might include a cluster of settlements. We trade (and sometimes feud) with other circles.

No complicated commentary here, I just like this. Feels right.

Leaders. Selected: Leadership is as varied as the people. Some communities are governed by the head of a powerful family. Or, they have a council of elders who make decisions and settle disputes. In others, the priests hold sway. For some, it is duels in the circle that decide.

Give me weird cultural diversity between the circles, please! Everyone does things differently and everything is clannish and different wherever you go.

Defense. Selected: The wardens are our soldiers, guards, and militia. They serve their communities by standing sentry, patrolling surrounding lands, and organizing defenses in times of crisis. Most have strong ties to their community. Others, called free wardens, are wandering mercenaries who hire on to serve a community or protect caravans.

The Free Wardens are technically a Circle, united under a common cause and banner. Even so, it's hard to say they have a leader, or a land to call their own.

Mysticism. Selected: Magic courses through this land as the rivers flow through the hills. The power is there for those who choose to harness it, and even the common folk often know a helpful ritual or two.

Sorry, but I'm weak for a hypermagical setting. We fled disease to a land with strange, unrusting pillars and abundant magic energy. Things are strange here, but we have come to accept it.

Religion. Selected: The people honor old gods and new. In this harsh land, a prayer is a simple but powerful comfort.

Arguments are frequent between the two schools of faith. Surely the old gods have abandoned us! Surely the new gods are devils in disguise.

Firstborn. Selected: The firstborn live in isolation and are fiercely protective of their own lands.

Seems like the Firstborn are magical races. Exciting news. We have Ironlanders in weird Circles and Firstborn in Ancient Societies. I know I said “less Tolkien” earlier, but I'm always game for some reclusive high-fantasy elves.

Beasts. Selected: Beasts of all sorts roam the Ironlands. They dwell primarily in the reaches, but range into the settled lands to hunt. There, they often prey on cattle, but attacks on travelers, caravans, or even settlements are not uncommon.

We did not come to the Ironlands for their convenience. This magical place seems to be the only realm resistant to the horrors of the plague, and its fauna take strange shapes in the mystic currents.

Horrors. Selected: We are wary of dark forests and deep waterways, for monsters lurk in those places. In the depths of the long-night, when all is wreathed in darkness, only fools venture beyond their homes.

I've been reading Berserk on and off for a while. I like a little bit of undead / demonic horror in my fantasy worlds!

Okay! That's it. I feel ready to introduce you all to:

Ruvial the Hunter.

Ruvial is being ported in and modified from a character I played in the excellent open world RPG Moonring. Let's see how they fit in this universe!

We'll be setting Ruvial's stats first: assigning one 3, two 2s, and two 1s to their character sheet.

Edge: 3. This determines quickness, agility, and ranged combat prowess. Ruvial is fast, and they are accurate with a bow.

Heart: 1. This determines courage, willpower, empathy, sociability, and loyalty. Ruvial is not naturally gifted in socializing or empathizing with others, but they're trying.

Iron: 2. This determines physical strength, endurance, aggressiveness, and prowess in close combat. Ruvial is pretty good up close, too, but better at range.

Shadow: 2. This determines sneakiness, deceptiveness, and cunning. Ruvial is a hunter, after all, and moving in the shadows is their bread and butter.

Wits: 1. This determines expertise, knowledge, and observation. It's not that Ruvial isn't smart, it's just that they aren't very familiar with the world. They're something of a nomad, and so their knowledge and expertise are somewhat lacking.

Time to choose their Assets! Assets are cards that make your character unique, and there's a few different kinds. They're pretty intuitive, and they can be upgraded (or added to a character) using XP earned from completing vows! We'll be starting with 3 assets. I'm gonna start with a Path, a Combat Talent, and a Ritual.

Path: Slayer. Level 1 Ability: When you Gather Information by tracking a beast or horror, or when you Secure an Advantage by readying yourself for a fight against them, add +1 and take +1 momentum on a hit.

Ruvial the Hunter, after all.

Combat Talent: Archer. Level 1 Ability: If you wield a bow, when you Secure an Advantage by taking a moment to aim, choose your approach and add +1. • Trust your instincts: Roll +wits, and take +2 momentum on a strong hit. • Line up your shot: Roll +edge, and take +1 momentum on a hit.

I was tempted to take something other than Archer at the start and let them get better at using a bow over the course of the story, but it just felt right.

Ritual: Augur. Level 1 Ability: When you summon a flock of crows and ask a single question, roll +wits. On a strong hit, you interpret their calls as a helpful omen. Envision the response (Ask the Oracle if unsure) and take +2 momentum. On a weak hit, the crows ignore your question and offer a clue to an unrelated problem or opportunity in this area. Envision what you learn (Ask the Oracle if unsure), and take +1 momentum.

Leech was also very high on my list of choices; Ruvial in Moonring was a blood-drinking maniac who ran around eating badgers in the woods. This is a more refined and stoic Ruvial, who seeks communion with crows.

Finally, let's give Ruvial the Hunter a background vow. This will tell us their story so far.

Ruvial Qualm was born into the Circle of the Hunt, a collection of trappers and butchers who helped provide food to the Circles of the Ragged Coast. As they got older, their skill with a bow made them something of a prodigy, and they were sent out on their own for hunts at a young age. It wasn't cruelty; the child had wanted things that way. They were quiet, and antisocial; staring down a deer with a knocked arrow seemed their happiest place.

Returning home from a hunt, Ruvial finds the encampment of their family has been utterly destroyed. Their loved ones as blood and as parts, shredded by the maw of some unknowable horror. Their stockpile of meat on sawn river ice annihilated by the greed of a monster.

They howled with grief. Abandoned in the world. No longer loved by anyone alive. The futile rage of a teenager, pushing out of their body so violently at the terrible sight.

They grab hold of the iron coin on a cord around their neck. The gift from Donovan. The thing that makes them a member of the Ironsworn Circle of the Hunt.

“Here and now, I swear that I will find the beast that did this. I will learn its nature, and I will strike it down alone.”

This is their vow: Avenge the Fallen Circle of the Hunt. Rank: Epic.

When we join them, however, their most recent vow is a little different:

Kenrick and Shona are inconsolable. Their little girl has disappeared.

When little Adda vanished — that strange girl the Circle of the Threshold had found by a stream — it was assumed to be some kind of accident. A tragedy, but not unexpected for a foundling. The child had simply wandered off, and gotten mailed by some horrid, Deep Wilds beast to the East. A tragedy, certainly, but nothing greater.

But then, one of the Thresholders' girls started talking. Kenrick's girl, Maya, would babble at times about The Voice in the Candles. She'd swear she was hearing things — sweet things — in an unfamiliar voice from the flames. The imagination running wild? An ill omen? It was debated, but not taken seriously.

Until she disappeared.

Here, now, arrives Ruvial the Hunter. They have been called here by reputation. Some supernatural thing is stealing their children away, and it must be stopped. The Circle of the Free Wardens has thrice refused this task, and it seems only a matter of time before the fire starts whispering again.

The hunter agrees. Doesn't say much more. Swears a vow:

“Here and now, I, Ruvial the Hunter, swear to you, Kenrick of the Circle of the Threshold, that I will find what has taken your missing children, and slay it.”

Kenrick is a little stunned.

“That's it? You have nothing more to say?”

Ruvial stands, shaking their head.

“No. If this is indeed a horror that needs hunting, there's nothing more you can tell me that'll make this easier. I just have to track it down myself.”

This is their vow: Find the Child-Taker. Rank: Formidable.

Last thing to do before we continue: Picrew. Sorry, but I love to visualize a character, and Picrews are a great way to do that quickly! I'll be using Ame's Pixel Fantasy Character Picrew to shape up a Ruvial.

Perfect! That'll do. That's our friend Ruvial.

Next time, we'll start exploring the story of Ruvial in greater detail.

[deus-ex-mona]

w h y did the preview have to drop now of all times?

[jess-p-edits]

WIP Intro: The Hour of Magic

📖 Start reading it here!

Summary: 

In the 100 years after the monumental Hour of Magic abruptly introduced magic, monsters, and a bit of modernity into the world, the Holy Kingdom of Crestwall has maintained its steadfast, tradition-bound identity. Kings still come from royal bloodlines, and magic is viewed as the coward's escape from righteous toil.

Yet while the rest of The World’s kingdoms make advances in magic, monster slaying, and social change, the “fairytale kingdom” falls further and further behind, and King Agares Crestwall has finally decided to do something about it by inviting representatives from the Alliance Lands to partake in a cultural exchange.

The commander of King Crestwall’s personal guard and a monster slayer from the northern lands are two reluctant participants of this exchange. Should the two set aside their quarreling over their cultural differences, they may both learn some dire revelations about the way their respective kingdoms are coping with the aftermath of the cataclysmic, miraculous Hour, even a century later.

Genre and other deets: High fantasy story with road trip and romance elements. Fantasy story tropes played straight, subverted, or something in between. 

A preview of the world: Monsters largely inhabit the abyssal wealds, and the hunters of Correlaine--led by the various classes of Wardens--are experts in slaying them. The Divine Trust: the central bank of The Alliance Lands fixing the economy one platinum Foxing at a time. The chickadee post: the faster-than-bird communication system using enchanted chickadees (the only breed of bird not susceptible to exploding upon being enchanted, don’t ask how we learned that). Basically magical texting, with some limitations. The Sea of Ice: During the Hour, one kid just REALLY liked ice skating. 100 years later, still frozen.

Main characters*:

Commander Krieve of Crestwall: The steadfast commander of the king’s guard. Duty-bound, and willing to throw his life away in the service of the king the moment he is asked--what any citizen of Crestwall should be expected to do. Dreads his role in the exchange as he has never left Crestwall in his life.

Scout Warden Jaisse of Correlaine: The daughter of the queen-elect of Correlaine, and leader of the scouting division of the Correlaine monster Hunters. Has little patience for Crestwall's stagnant culture, but bringing kingdoms together just might be the way she can get her mother to remember her by; legacy is a complicated thing to grapple with when your mother made herself immortal during The Hour...

Salma and Fahad: Twins from the exceptional, magically-advanced New Nobelia, taking part in the exchange to beef up their resumes for their applications to sit on the meritocratic New Nobelia council. More dissimilar than meets the eye, but wouldn’t mind tricking you into thinking otherwise, at least upon a first meeting; they get a lot of social mileage out of the twin brother and sister bit. 

Captain Godric: The easy-breezy captain of the Crestwall’s king’s guard. Stalwart companion of Commander Krieve. Would be considered the comic relief of the pair if Commander Krieve actually had a sense of humor. Tasked with traveling with the twins to Correlaine with Jaisse and Krieve before continuing on to New Nobelia to fulfill his part of the exchange. Learns to really love talking to that fine fellow, Fahad...

*Names subject to change, both characters and locations.

Current progress: 70k words and counting

Banner image made on Canva with royalty-free images from Pexels. Map of The World created with Inkarnate. 

🌏 Details about the setting can be found here.

🤝 Character Masterlist can be found here!

📖 The prologue and first few chapters can be read here.

 👋 A sizable snippet that better shows off our main protagonists can be read here.

[yasuda-yoshiya]

EP2 reread notes, Part 1

It’s been a long time, but my Umineko reread has been slowly progressing! Here is a long-overdue update.

My readthrough of Episode 2 has actually been complete for months. This episode is both particularly important to me and covers a lot of particularly sensitive material, and as such I was hesitant to just post my rough notes in mostly unedited form as I did with the first episode; I really wanted to make sure I could properly express a lot of things about this episode in particular, and to that end I’ve been fleshing out my notes into a more substantial commentary this time.

As such, it seems appropriate to split this one into multiple posts. I’d like to hope I can get the others out fairly soon, now that a lot of the draft has been fleshed out! But for now, here’s the first part of this episode, focusing on Shannon’s half of the flashback arc.

Prologue

* The way George's narration in the intro is worded really does emphasise just how much he values his relationship with Shannon primarily as feeding into his own self-worth, making him feel like he can play the part of the "guy teasing the girl he likes" when that's always been something that he's only been able to look at enviously from the outside before. It practically comes across like he's using her to act out his own pre-existing personal script for his "dream romance" a lot of the time. It always bothers me that Ryukishi captures these disturbing nuances so well, but doesn't really seem interested in following through on critically exploring them with George the way he does with his other characters...

* Well, I suppose you could say that Yasu values George for basically the same reason, that he makes her feel like "someone who can know love" when she sees that as an unattainable dream for herself. It's sort of interesting to me in theory to think of the George/Shannon relationship through the (very cynical) lens that it basically amounts to two people both using the other as a piece to achieve happiness for themselves, but it's hard for me to really see that as an equal thing when the whole dynamic is so transparently skewed towards George happily getting to achieve his dreams and play out all his personal fantasies with no worries while Yasu is quietly making all kinds of agonising internal compromises with herself in the background.

* The metaphor that Shannon uses about the huge tank at the aquarium "being no different from an infinite sea to the fish swimming inside" always really gets to me. I think the whole concept of being able to define your own reality and the idea that "if I just believe I'm happy, then I am happy" is one that feels very personally familiar and important to me, so Yasu's particular idea of "magic" and the way Umineko is built around exploring that is a big part of what makes it resonate so much with me. I always have mixed feelings about what Shannon expresses here; I think there's a lot of genuine truth and power in the sentiment (a lot of the value of life really does come down to what you perceive it to be), but at the same time I sort of feel like if you've reached the point of consciously telling yourself "my world is complete to me as long as I don't know what I'm missing" as a coping strategy, then by necessity that means you've already kind of gone past the point of being able to wholeheartedly believe in that illusion. In a way, that's what Beatrice ultimately breaking Shannon down represents. But at the same time, I still sort of find myself wanting to say that consciously struggling to "build a self-contained world for yourself" in that way can still lead to a valid and genuine sense of fulfilment, even so - and in a broad sense I think being able to find peace and satisfaction in something that you know to be imperfect is a skill that everyone has to learn to an extent.

* This idea also pretty much sets the stage for one of the main themes of the episode as a whole. The fish tank metaphor represents Shannon's attitude to her relationship with George that amounts to "This love can obviously never really happen, but I can create an illusion of love that will be real to us", and trying to convince herself that that's fine; much of the conflict between Shannon, Kanon and Beatrice that follows in the rest of the episode is centred around Yasu fighting with herself over whether she really can feel content with that much or not. In contrast, George's immediate thought in response is basically "However big it might be, it still just looks like a tank to me", which...well, it's no surprise that Yasu is so afraid of what might happen if he finds out that his relationship with her isn't really his dream come true, but an attempt to create an indistinguishable illusion of that dream being possible. It's vital for him to remain ignorant of the fact that their "tank" isn't actually an infinite sea.

* God, George is awful. That's all I've got to say about the rest of this sequence. I'm tired of talking about George.

* The whole scene at the shrine is really powerfully written, and possibly the first part of the series where we really hear the unfiltered voice of "Yasu" speaking. The symbol of the shrine mirror as a metaphor for Shannon's unchanging fate and the obstacle to Beatrice's resurrection takes on all kinds of new dimensions given everything that mirrors mean to Yasu; the thing that Yasu needs to destroy in order to become "human" in her eyes is "her self", her own reflection in the mirror. The physical reality of her own body prevents her from being the person she wants to be - a sentiment that goes way back to Yasu's feeling as a child that the reality of her own pitiful face reflected in the mirror was a threat to her image of herself as the great witch Beatrice. The way Yasu translates these pre-established parts of her personal mythology into a new context to convey how she feels about her present situation always feels very authentic to me.

“Furniture”

* And now we flash back to the origins of Shannon's feelings for George. I do find it a little easier this time to understand why George noticing and unobtrusively helping to smooth things over for Shannon when she made mistakes was so touching to her; she's so used to being unnoticed and taken for granted as a servant that it would mean a lot when George showed consideration for her as a person. And I do appreciate that his "humble-bragging" moment afterwards is framed as totally transparent and that he's willing to laugh at himself when Jessica mocks him for it too; I can see why a little flaw like that could seem endearing and humanising to Shannon from her perspective at the time, in the sense that it makes him feel approachably human and not just "admirable".

* Well, like I think yumeta said on Goats, Shannon and George's dynamic actually seems okay when they're allowed to mutually acknowledge and laugh about each other's "childish points" together, but it's when George gets in the creepily patronising role of talking about "rules" and "orders" and gleefully enjoying one-sidedly making her uncomfortable that it gets really gross to me... Unfortunately, George is really specifically invested in feeling like he's "becoming an adult" and "overcoming his childish phase" through this relationship, so it feels like he ends up actively working to stay securely in control of their dynamic as much as he can to prove that he's "a real man" or whatever. Being honest about his immature aspects and letting Shannon poke at his "cute points" too much probably hits too close to his insecurities for him to be willing to keep it up for all that long - which is a shame because I think that's probably the kind of relationship Yasu feels most comfortable with, as you can see from BeaBato.

* The way the narrative transitions between these two scenes gives a lot of insight into how things like this must have influenced Yasu's current view of herself. The memory of Eva's whole "you're not worthy of George, know your place you servant" rant in the past becomes a reminder to Yasu in the present, something she uses to reinforce to herself that she was foolish to think she could be anything more than furniture; this scene really makes it easy to see how Yasu finding out the truth about her body would have just fed even deeper into reinforcing these kinds of messages about her "inferior, unworthy, subhuman" position that she'd already been receiving her whole life because of her social status. Those two parallel aspects of her seeing herself as "furniture" definitely feed into each other a lot, and the subsequent scene with Natsuhi abusing her just goes on to further hammer this home; the idea that Yasu is less than human is something that her environment has drilled into her for a very long time, even without taking into account the issue of her body.

* At the same time, though, I think it's important to note the implication that Yasu evidently refused to meekly accept Eva's words at the time and did keep pursuing her relationship with George regardless. It's clear that Yasu's lifelong mistreatment as a servant alone *wasn't* enough to totally crush Yasu's sense of self-worth; continuing to pursue a relationship with someone so "far above her station" shows that despite everything around her reinforcing her inferior position, Yasu was still able to believe strongly enough in her own right to happiness that she was able to actively reject that deeply ingrained impulse to resign herself to her current misery on the grounds that she should just be grateful for what she had. A big part of the tragedy here is that it feels like Yasu having her status as subhuman and unworthy of love physically "confirmed" to her when she solved the epitaph really pushed her straight back into those terrible thought patterns, just as she was starting to cast them off.

* But even after enduring all of that, Yasu still can't bring herself to totally give up and accept that she can do nothing but resign herself to a fate of being furniture - instead she ends up fighting with all she has to overcome that subhuman status in a different way, as portrayed through Shannon's use of "Beatrice's magic" here. Much as it might be easy at first glance to dismiss Yasu's concept of herself as furniture as passive and self-defeating, I think it's important to note that her narrative is specifically centred around her desperately fighting AGAINST that perception of herself and trying to overcome it in whatever way she can, even with everything around her constantly trying to push her back down into the resignation and stagnation that "Shannon" represents. I feel like it's really missing the point to frame Yasu's pessimism about herself as primarily a problem of her own innate personality, rather than a problem of her initially strong hopes for herself being slowly crushed and eroded as an inevitable consequence of her brutal circumstances and the awful environment she's had to adapt to.

* The particular way that Beatrice tempts Shannon into breaking the shrine mirror - in other words, into going through with testing the explosives - is very illuminating in terms of what pushed Yasu over the edge. If love is the all-important "single element" and the only thing that can make a person's life worthwhile, then continuing to live in her "body incapable of love" would be dooming Yasu to a hollow and meaningless life, as far as she's concerned. On the other hand, if Shannon continues to "deceive" George by hiding the truth about her body, using "magic" to make that illusion real, then she can live as if she was a real human for a time - but the further she goes with that, the further she goes past the point of no return and commits herself to having to create the catbox in the end to preserve that love, because it can't last indefinitely. But as Beatrice puts forth, isn't that still better than living a hollow life forever?

* And of course the wonderful Kanon-kun comes to the rescue, driving Beatrice off and telling her to stop trying to lead Shannon astray. But Beatrice isn't concerned, because she knows her words have left their mark - as evidenced by the butterfly marks on Shannon and Kanon's hands. Even the framing of the narrative itself is designed to reinforce that sense of inevitability; at this point we've already witnessed the scene where Shannon breaks the mirror, so we "know" - as Yasu "knows" - that Shannon isn't going to be able to resist in the long run. Yasu just isn't able to resign herself to being unhappy forever; she'll take her chance at happiness even knowing it's likely to lead to ruin.

* And honestly, even though Yasu frames that as Shannon giving into an evil temptation, is it really so evil to want some level of happiness? What Shannon wants is only what any "normal" person would automatically be entitled to. I think Yasu's "Beatrice" in this episode generally becomes a lot more sympathetic when you understand that her anger at Shannon basically comes down to her refusing to accept her assertion that her miserable situation is fine as it is, and that she doesn't need or deserve anything more - because, frankly, Shannon *is* wrong about that. That genuinely is a messed up attitude. But of course, the other side of that is that, in the course of arguing that Shannon isn't fine as she is, she's also putting forth that her current state is truly miserable and pathetic and unfixable without resorting to drastic measures - and there's obviously a ton of unealthy self-loathing in that too, in a different way.

Wonderful Utopia

* Aaand then we flash forward into the future to show that George and Shannon's relationship is going smoothly, and Jessica and Shannon are talking together happily about it. This is a little dark when you consider the implication in light of the preceding scene (because Shannon gave in and accepted Beatrice's "magic", everything is going fine).

* This is really yet another thing that shows a huge amount of courage from Yasu when you think about it; Yasu was totally aware that going on an overnight trip with George could easily lead to her body being exposed, but she still went along with it. She was willing to risk "breaking the magic", even though that should have been unthinkable if she totally believed Beatrice was right about her relationship with George. Like Ryukishi said in the Answer interview, it must have been a very complicated feeling for Yasu when she found out that George booked separate rooms for them after all; of course she'd be glad not to be exposed in the short term, but in a way, it might have been a relief for her to have been "forced" into confessing the truth and taking the reaction as it came, to have the choice taken away from her. This is pretty much the same mindset on which Yasu ends up building the whole mystery roulette - deep down, she wants someone to stop her and "make her confess", so she gives the survivors all kinds of openings to "expose her", but she still needs someone to corner her into revealing everything. The fear of the consequences makes it impossible for her to step up and do it of her own accord. Even so, taking that kind of gamble with George here at all must have taken a lot of bravery...

* In contrast with Beatrice's mockery and derision of Shannon in the previous scene, now that Shannon has "accepted her" Beatrice is very friendly to her. The whole arc here, with Beatrice acting at first like she's truly happy for Shannon and George and has their best interests at heart and Shannon coming to see her as a friend, but then eventually revealing her true nature as an evil sadistic witch who was deliberately tormenting Shannon by making her know a happiness that she couldn't ever really be allowed to have...it totally works as its own story on the surface level, so nothing seems "off" about it on first read, but it really does hurt so much when you understand that it's Yasu reflecting back on her decision to keep pursuing love despite knowing she's "furniture", and how she tried to pretend to herself that that was a pure and noble thing when it really ended up being just a cruel way to increase her pain and deceive both George and herself with the false promise of a relationship that could never be fulfilled.

* The way Beatrice is so persistent, even while still maintaining her friendly facade, in reminding Shannon not to "get too full of herself" and forget that her love is only possible because of Beatrice's magic - in other words, not to delude herself into thinking that George and Shannon's love might actually go deep enough to survive the revelation about her body - is extremely upsetting. I don't actually think she's wrong about this (that George is really in love with an "illusion" of Shannon rather than Yasu herself), though to me that's more a testament to George being a jerk than to Yasu being fundamentally unlovable - but I think the genuine truth in what she's saying makes it a lot harder for Yasu to shrug it off.

* This part makes it clear that Shannon's attitude has changed quite a bit since we saw her hopelessly lamenting earlier. She concedes to Beatrice that her relationship with George could only have started because of her magic - but she wants to believe that, now that their relationship has progressed this far, she doesn't need that magic any more. She wants to believe that their love has become strong enough that it can survive George finding out the truth. And that “should” be the case, right? If everything George says about the strength of their love is true, it should be able to overcome that kind of barrier easily. That's why Shannon was willing to take that risk of going on an overnight trip with George. Beatrice sort of indulgently agrees for now, but she also insists that Shannon keeps the brooch around just in case she does want to use it again; as much as Yasu would like to totally believe that George would accept her, she can't abandon the catbox as a fall-back option.

* It really hurts to read this because Yasu obviously really, really wanted to believe in what Shannon is saying - it's really easy, and heartbreaking, for me to imagine Yasu originally choosing to keep going with George knowing that she was only constructing an "illusion" and that the magic would have to end some day, but then as things went on, to start to let herself believe that, you know what, maybe love could conquer everything! Maybe there's hope for her to live as a human after all! But it also makes perfect sense to me that Shannon ultimately "loses" to Beatrice on this, because the reality of the signals George was giving her (laughing off and dismissing any tentative attempts Shannon made to bring up her issues or to question his perception of their relationship and the picture he was painting of their future) make it very, very hard to believe he would really react well to hearing the truth.

*Another aspect of this is that...well, from Yasu’s perspective, the longer she goes without revealing the truth to George, the more chance there is for George to become strongly  invested in her as a person and to develop the kinds of resilient feelings that could theoretically withstand the revelation about her body - but also, the more devastating the potential fallout becomes when George finds out about her “keeping this secret for so long” and “letting things proceed this far without telling him”. I’m hesitant to talk too firmly about this, but I think that kind of uncomfortable balancing act in terms of considering "when to tell your partner” is probably something a lot of people in similar situations to Yasu can relate to, and it’s remarkable to me that Ryukishi is able to capture the stress of that kind of situation so well.

* The way Shannon reflects on Beatrice's underlying loneliness and how she becomes a lot more approachable when you get to know her is really sweet and endearing! The way Yasu writes Beatrice's character here in her "friendship" with Shannon is very consistent with the image of Beatrice we get from Maria's (and even Natsuhi's) scenes with her later - of someone who seems like an intimidating, all-powerful witch on the surface, but actually has a lot of endearingly cute and childish traits once you get to know her, getting all excited over the sweets Shannon brings her from Okinawa. It really comes across here, just as it does with Maria, that she's really desperate for company and genuinely overjoyed to have someone to talk to since she's been trapped on the island for so long - she may be "all-powerful" in magical terms, but the loneliness of living in an environment where no one else can recognise or acknowledge that power, and the unexpected joy of having someone who can actually see it and be grateful for her use of it, is also evident.

* I really like how those things that Beatrice's character expresses about Yasu still translate so strongly when she's being written into a completely fictional, metaphorical scenario - the person who Beatrice is enjoying being able to help with her magic and receiving gratitude from here is...well, uh, herself, in pure physical terms, but the reaction that Beatrice would theoretically have to Shannon as a separate person in this fictional narrative also expresses important things about her character. Aah, I just really love the unique way Yasu is characterised through these constructs, it's so clever and multilayered and I could gush about it endlessly, ahaha.

* And once again, Kanon comes along to break up this chat and scold Shannon for listening to the witch. God, Kanon and Beatrice's mutual antagonism in this episode is really intense. I'll talk about it a lot more when we get to the more Kanon-centric parts of this episode, but they really do hate each other a lot, and the things that mutual hatred expresses about Yasu's self-loathing always hit me particularly hard.

* It's amazing how easy it is in hindsight to read this scene as Yasu wrestling with herself; it all flows very naturally once you understand what they're really talking about. Yasu really wants to believe she can overcome her being "furniture" by achieving love, but Kanon represents the part of her that remains cynical about that possibility; he believes that she's letting Beatrice delude her into mistaking the illusion of love she's created for something real. He's kind of right, too; though I absolutely don’t believe it’s impossible for a strong love to withstand something like Yasu’s secret in principle, Kanon is right that George and Shannon's relationship isn't really the perfect fairytale love that Shannon would like it to be, and Shannon really has put herself in a very dangerous and precarious position by letting her relationship with George proceed this far. At this point, though, Shannon seems stronger than Kanon; she's optimistic enough about George right now that she wants to believe she doesn't need Beatrice's magic any more.

* It's sort of important to note that Kanon and Beatrice are pretty much aligned on their view of Yasu's situation - yeah, it sucks and it's hopeless, she's totally furniture, George won't accept her at all - but their opinions on how Yasu should respond to that are very different. Again, though, that's probably best saved for when we get more into their interaction...

* Regardless, for now, while Shannon is in this positive frame of mind, she decides to give Kanon a chance at Beatrice's "magic" too, lending him the brooch. And note the implication here - if Yasu is really so happy and optimistic about Shannon's relationship with George, as this scene tries to push so hard, then why does Kanon still need to be given a chance? This sort of implies to me that Yasu's not as confident in George's acceptance as she might want to admit; it's kind of ugly to say that Yasu might have been partly thinking of Jessica as a "backup plan", as Confession puts it, but there is an element of that in here. But I'd also argue that Yasu wants Kanon to try to pursue love because the idea of gaining happiness as Kanon specifically is so important to her that she needs to check out that possibility too.

* Kanon grudgingly decides that "maybe he might learn something if he tries this magic" - in other words, despite his skepticism, maybe if Yasu did seriously try living as Kanon, it could make him happy in a way he didn't foresee. This gains even more weight in light of Confession - we know that hearing Jessica express interest in Kanon gave Yasu a totally unexpected rush of euphoria. This new gambit, to give Kanon a chance of "magic", is informed by that - Yasu has to try to pursue and explore that new sense of happiness she experienced back then, even with Shannon already being in such a committed relationship with George.

* In a way, it's sort of interesting that Yasu's decision to pursue love with Kanon comes at a point when Yasu is feeling more optimistic about herself - at the point where she's able to try to tell herself that "love can overcome being furniture", and where she's willing to take risks like the overnight trip with George on that basis, even though Kanon and Beato's words of warning obviously represent her lingering doubts about that. Kanon normally shows so much pessimism about himself that trying to achieve love himself would be unthinkable - if Yasu's unable to even fully believe in Shannon being able to achieve love, when Shannon is so intentionally designed to be lovable and to compromise Yasu's internal self to that end, then how could Kanon possibly have a chance? But when Shannon momentarily experiences hope through her own relationship and becomes more optimistic about herself for a while, that sort of serves as a stepping stone to letting herself believe that maybe Kanon’s chances might not be so remote either. I guess you could say that's something good that came out of the George/Shannon relationship, although when all was said and done Yasu probably regretted making things even more complicated for herself by opening up this avenue too...

* And that’s as good a stopping point as any. Next time, I get to talk more about Kanon-kun, which is always very exciting!

[aftgonice]

Writing Tips - General - Pt.2

Welcome to the second part of my general writing tips. Remember that these are just a few things I learned until now in my X months of writing fanfiction, so take everything I say with a grain of salt and do some research of your own as well.

Also, I’m making a lot of examples from my own experience because literally all I know about writing I learned through experience, so I apologize if I seem self-centered but I have no other way to explain why I think these tips are important.

As always, most of these tips are mostly true for writing fanfiction, so keep that in mind as well.

Set the tone of your story

This is something I understood when I wrote the first chapter of my second-ever multichaptered fic, where I wanted to not only focus on the romance between the characters but also show and develop my POV character’s relationship with his parents. It was also my first fully-planned AU where I had entirely made up a character’s background instead of taking things from what I knew from canon.

The thing is, despite me wanting to focus on other things as well, it was a rivalry AU, so I had to set the tone of that because it would be the main feel of the story for the first few chapters.

What did I do wrong at first?

The first draft of the first chapter started with my POV character working at his family’s shop, and while that allowed me to introduce his family and the game he and his rival (whom my MC hadn’t met yet) were playing, it didn’t really set the tone I wanted to give the AU.

How did I fix it?

Simply, I moved that scene so that it became the middle scene of the first chapter, and I set the tone of the rivalry in the first scene instead, showing how competitive my MC is. Then, I had the rivalry (which was already there off-page, before my AU started) develop further in the last scene of the chapter, so that the tone I wanted to give my AU was already all there for my readers to look forward to in the next chapters.

See, by reading my first draft, you might have thought that my AU was going to focus a lot on my MC’s family, and while it kind of also did, it wasn’t what I wanted to catch the readers’ attention with. It also didn’t fit my MC’s personality, because he’s an angry, bratty teen, and showing him while he’s in a more relaxed environment is something I absolutely wanted to do, but it simply couldn’t be the very first impression that the reader got of him.

So, try to adapt this to your own story, ask yourself if there’s a particular atmosphere you want to give your work and how you can achieve that from the very start.

I’ve never done it myself, but another way to set the tone and atmosphere (especially in fantasy settings, I feel) is having a prologue. I think that is great because your prologue can be third person POV omniscient even if the rest of your story is third person POV limited, so you can start explaining your world in a way that it might be slightly info-dumpy but it’s much better than having a character tell the entire lore or whatever in a later chapter (this is something that often feels inorganic and I think is very difficult to achieve gradually rather than in a big info-dump, so if you have to info-dump, do it in a prologue).

Understand your writing style and keep it consistent*

*(at least throughout one single story)

This is not going to be something you figure out right away (at least it’s not like that for me), but at some point, after you’ve been writing for a while, you’ll notice there are things you tend to do with your writing. That’s your writing style, which can and probably will change in your writing life as you gain more writing experience. 

Do you use a lot of metaphors? Is your style flowery or more dry? Do you use a lot of descriptions or do you tend to focus more on introspection or dialogue? Or maybe a mix of all these things? 

Not one of these things is inherently good or bad, but it’s important to know yourself and the more you know what your distinctive traits as a writer are, the more you are able to use them to your advantage and understand where your strengths lie.

For example, if you know you’re not very good at descriptions (maybe it’s because you lack the vocabulary to do so, especially if you’re not writing in your first language, or maybe it’s because you have a hard time visualizing physical attributes and objects in a lot of detail), avoid them and keep them to a bare minimum and focus on what you know you do well.

Don’t be scared to delete

Sometimes you need to completely delete a good chunk of your work. That can and will happen, and it’s hard to let it go, but if you’re at the point where you know in your gut that you have to, DO IT. Just don’t actually delete it but copy-paste it somewhere because you might need some of the plot/characterization/dialogue. 

Actually, move things around but never actually delete anything you write. Even if it’s just half a sentence that you’re trying to fix while you edit, keep it there for a bit, until you’re sure that the new sentence is better. 

This goes for your outline as well: keep it around even if you have to change things as you go, until you’re absolutely certain that you won’t need that bit anymore (I mean, virtual space costs you nothing so you might as well keep that even after that in case because why not).

World building 

I don’t have a lot of experience with this but:

Don't introduce like 10 characters all at once

Don’t info-dump

Show don’t tell

Obviously not all stories need world building, especially if you’re writing canon-compliant or modern AUs.

Another thing I can tell you is: take your time. You won’t have a full world building after half an hour: you’ll still think up details as you go, while you’re writing your outline or while you shower or while you’re trying to fall asleep. When inspiration strikes, write it down. Doesn’t matter where, open your phone’s notes app, write it on your hand, but write it down because you’ll hate yourself if you forget it. Even if you can’t write it down (like if you’re in the shower - it happens to me all the freaking time) say it out loud. Literally talk to yourself and say what you would write in your outline were you sitting comfortably at your computer. This will make it easier to remember it once you can write it all down.

Names are good, use them

This is mostly a subjective point but there’s nothing wrong in using the character’s names instead of their qualities. The blonde, the brunette, the Russian, the Kazakh... I’m not trying to shame anyone here, but as a reader it’s very distracting to read a full fic where the character’s names are barely mentioned and they’re always reduced to their physical attributes or their nationality or their age. It’s not only distracting, sometimes it’s plain confusing. I read fics where one character was always “the teen”. Well, guess what, the other character was also a teen, so I never actually knew who the authors meant.

I know it can be difficult especially when writing same sex couples because their pronouns are the same. Who’s the “he” you’re referring to? But I personally find it much better to just repeat a character’s name when a simple pronoun doesn’t make the situation clear enough.

I feel like there’s also a POV problem if you keep writing things that your POV character wouldn’t think, provided you’re writing in first person (seriously avoid using anything BUT personal names or nicknames when writing in first person) or third person limited. 

There are a few cases when your POV character (POVc) would think of someone by a trait that defines them, for example hair color. Your POVc just met a group of people they’ve never met before. Maybe they even introduced themselves but POVc is like me and forgot their names right away, so they keep referring to them by things they know about them (physical traits, or “the one who almost broke my hand by shaking it” or whatever).

But would your POVc ever think about someone they know, their friend or their crush as “the blonde?” “The Russian”? Would you ever think about your SO by anything but their name? (Okay, I can kinda understand “my husband/wife” or something like that, but even those should be used sparingly and only in certain circumstances).

Basically, in most cases using anything but someone’s name is a breach of your POV limited and throws your story (even just temporarily) in third person omniscient. Of course, if that’s the POV you’re using, you have more freedom to to refer to your characters any way you like.

Don’t break your POV

While I’m at it, I might as well add this point here.

Don’t write anything from a person’s POV that they wouldn’t think/know. Of course this goes for plot points, but you should always ask yourself if it’s in-character that your POVc knows a certain name or fact.

For example, your POVc is a palace maid who was kidnapped and is currently held captive in a military camp. She would describe things she sees but she wouldn’t know military terms, or the names of every single weapon etc, so don’t use them.

Or your POVc is a teenage boy walking in a forest. Would he know the names of all the trees he sees? Unless for some reason he does (maybe he studied them at school or he just really likes nature and botany), then he most likely doesn’t, so don’t include tree names in your description of the forest.

There a few extra points that I want to make that have to do with posting your work more than with writing itself:

Politeness and common sense

Tag appropriately, especially when it comes to trigger and content warnings. If you don’t know why that’s important, there’s about a million posts on the internet that explain it.

Don’t bring your own work down. Seriously, there’s nothing more discouraging as a reader than reading the intro notes and seeing “I know this is crap”. I realize many of us were taught to be modest and belittling our own achievements is something we (might I add, girls especially) always do because we feel like it’s wrong not to, but avoiding doing it in a fic is a great starting exercise if you want to let go of this mentality. You don’t want to turn away potential readers because they think “well if the author themself doesn’t like their own work why should I even bother reading?”.

At the same time, you don’t have to fake complete confidence. By all means, write whether this is your first work in the fandom or ever, mention that the language you’re writing in is not your first, point out that your fic isn’t beta’d. Just keep a matter-of-fact attitude about it, and don’t be whiny about it (especially not where everybody will see it). It will make the reader feel better about your work and it will work wonders for your self confidence.

Visibility and feedback

Know when to post stuff so that more people will see it. It sucks to have to think this way, but the truth is, especially when writing for big fandoms, there are some “dead hours” where less people will see your content. Generally speaking I think the best hours to post on ao3 are between the late afternoon and something like 1 or 2 am European Time (basically when both the European and US/Latin American fandoms are awake and out of work/school).

Make sure you at least link your content on tumblr (you can also cross-post it so more people will see it), and tag so that it shows up in the tags page.

When it comes to feedback, brace yourself for comments or no comments. Everyone is lazy, and readers are too when it comes to leaving kudos and especially comments. This is a hard truth and there are ways to make readers aware of the importance of leaving feedback if they’ve enjoyed our (free) content, but we as writers need to be prepared for that. 

There are also types of fics that will get more comments based on their content. A really sweet fluffy fic that is lovely to read will get a different kind of response than a fic or a chapter with a big plot twist or something that blows the reader’s mind. That doesn’t mean that both aren’t good, it just means that the readers will have more to say with the second type of fic.

On ao3, a generally good kudos/hits ratio is 1/10, at least when it comes to oneshots, and a bit lower than that for chaptered fics. If you have more than that, congrats, you’re basically a god now.

Don’t get the lack of feedback discourage you from writing more. There are tons of reasons why people aren’t seeing your content or not interacting with you after they’ve read it, and it absolutely doesn’t mean that your content is bad.

If you feel like you can handle it, ask for constructive criticism. If you specifically don’t want that, mention it explicitly. Other than that, asking for general comments will usually grant you a few more than if you’re silent about it.

When readers do leave comments, even tiny ones, reply back. If you don’t, you’re rude and you’re not encouraging anyone to leave you feedback even if they enjoyed your content.

Whatever feedback you receive, don’t be discouraged and keep writing.

Other writing tips: (coming soon!)

Yuri On Ice edition | general pt.1 | plot | dialogues | characterization