#the intimacy. the tension. oh it’d go crazy

[reminisceaboutme]

sighs wistfully. jegulus & shotgunning

[eureka-its-zico]

Nothing Like Us

Part 1         Part 2

A/N: So this is actually part 3 of a series I decided to do, because a certain person loved these little one shots I made after songs Jungkook sang renditions of. This is the third part of that and the ending. I’ll go ahead and tag the original two on here if anyone is interested. I tried editing this as much as I could while at work and no matter what I did, it couldn’t make me happy. As always, I hope you all enjoy this little piece of fiction. Love, Jenn

Jungkook x Reader

Word count: 4115

Genre: Angst x Fluff(ish)

It was cruel the way the universe placed him perfectly under the halo of the streetlight. The luminescence cascading over a face you’d dreamed of for months; you’d grieved. No matter how much your heart hurt you knew underneath was a monster of rage brewing below it’s depths. The ache in your chest a colossal power that swelled, the waves of grief crashing against you, until it threatened to consume you. When it finally did, it choked your sobs free from your throat with an angry fist. 

You counted out hours. Days. Weeks. Stopped counting when weeks turned into full fledge months. Things that you’d spoken in the confines of your mind were now being spoken out loud on brave days to the silent audience of your room. There were days your sadness turned to anger. White hot and blinding: so pure you swore it could’ve torn buildings down to the mortar.

How could Jungkook completely stop talking to you? Seeing you? How could it be possible to not wake up looking for texts from each other or sharing meals together, ending with him still being hungry, because Jungkook was an endless pit. One you happily shared food with just to see him move his shoulders in giddy shakes with every bite.

No one should be able to move on from birthdays where the two of you eagerly watched the other open their gift. Just to let out an unknown sigh of relief at the happiness the present brought. Why was it even possible to let years of knowing become nothing more than fading memories?

You’d spent months wondering these things and in all of them you imagined what it would be like if you ever saw him again. Not on TV. Not your phone from YouTube or Instagram. Saw him the way only the two of you’d shared together. A part of you willing to bet you’d scream at him or yell. Maybe you would cry. 

No.

Now with Jungkook a mere few feet away all you could feel was an all consuming need to run to him. A feverish fear heated up your skin at the idea he could turn around and be gone in an instant; nothing more than a phantom of longing you’d created just to see his face. But you knew it was him without ever needing to take another step off the small landing of your porch. 

The sounds of the night continued to swell between the sea of pavement between you. Neither of you made a move towards the other. No one moving a finger, as if you shared in the fear if either of you even took a breath it would scare the other away. 

Your mind continued to be lost in its endless debate on whether to  go to him or to remain motionless. The shoebox and its contents falling flat onto the floor and the only letters scribbled on a photo of you running in tall grass that you’d read flashed over and over: “ I wish I would’ve kissed you first.”

Your mind played them on repeat until your head spun. Your thoughts stuck on his opening words and one of the dozens of photos that accompanied many more. The second one you’d pulled being the first time you’d gone ice skating together. The memory joyous and painful all at once. Your mind was still trying to recover on what to do; your eyes watching him bury his hands deeper inside the pockets of his coat. His gaze hoovering on your figure before he turned and began to move back down the street; leaving you again. 

“Jungkook!”

You weren’t aware you were off your porch until you felt your feet moving rapidly down the steps. Your legs burning trying to keep up with the sudden furious pace of your panic. Even then, your lungs were still able to carry enough air for you to continue to scream his name. It didn’t matter if he, your neighbors, or anyone else could hear your pain; the frenzied way you called his name religiously to get him to stop. 

Your heart skipped for a split second when he finally did. Jungkook’s body rigid as you came closer to his back while he continued to face away from you. You didn’t know if he was dreading the knowledge that you were coming closer. You had no way to tell if he was just as frantic to see you or wanted nothing to do with you.  

It could all be a painful accident that you’d seen him outside your door. He could’ve just been passing through and somehow forgot he just so happened to be in your neighborhood. You knew, it was none of those. Jungkook, some part of him, must miss you or why else would he even be here? 

“Jungkook?”

God. How small your voice sounded. How hopeful. 

Still, Jungkook would not answer you; wouldn’t bother to glance in your direction. Suddenly, your tongue felt like lead in your mouth. Sour and weighed down by a fear tinged regret at showing your hand at how much you’d missed him. When he had shown you nothing. 

You’d grown accustomed to disappoint, however, and braced yourself for what you did next. If Jungkook wouldn’t turn to face you, then you would simply half to walk around to face him. When you were a quarter of the way around, a timid hand reached out to lightly grab at the fabric of his jacket. 

You had that sudden sensation again of being lost at sea, in need of something to keep you from drowning, with Jungkook being your only shore for miles. 

Jungkook hadn’t expected you to touch him and his body gave a noticeable jolt at your touch. It didn’t deter you. You were now in front of him and could see the pain etched into every line of his features. It was evident he was close to tears as your eyes drank him in. Jungkook was the one person you’d known who’d always been so certain. The man standing before you now looked as lost as you felt, and it all felt more than you could take. Your hand was still holding onto him, but now it felt like maybe Jungkook needed to feel your touch just as much as you’d needed to touch him. 

“Jungkook,” you whispered. “It really is you.” 

He didn’t answer you. His eyes diverted to look everywhere but where you stood before him. It was driving you crazy. Did you not deserve to have his full attention after all this time? Didn’t you deserve that, at least?

Jungkook wasn’t pulling away from you yet, and it seemed like he didn’t want to take the steps to remove you from him. So how could he continue to act like you weren’t there?

In a blur of sparked rage your gentle hand on his arm released and shoved into his chest. All that anger and weak attempts to hate him spewed back up to make you lash out in all the ways you’d dreamed about doing. 

“Why come here if you can’t speak to me, huh? Did you come just to hurt me more!? Is this some kind of game to you?”

You hurled your words at him and watched as they struck home. All the frustration and tears you’d thought you’d shed came flooding back like a monsoon. You weren’t able to control the tears from streaming hot and raw against your cheeks. Jungkook eyes now hopelessly transfixed on you as you moved forward to shove against him. His hands easily reached out to take hold of your shoulders and kept you firmly in place. The movement caused you both to be only a few inches apart, and oh how you hated the small amount of distance between you. 

“I never wanted to hurt you in the first place, Y/N!”

His admission made you go rigid mimicking like he had earlier. The pain in his gaze quieted the last remaining fire of your anger. Instead, what rose up felt even worse. You’d missed him so much. He was still jungkook: your Jungkook, but different now. His features carved out from that baby softness to now show a more mature him. Your hands registering easily that his lean frame had grown thicker with muscles. The muscle bunny he’d always wanted to be. Looking up at him now your lips came alive with the memory of him and you hated yourself for that. 

“Then why did you leave me alone in the park, Kook? You never answered a phone call or a text. You didn’t even try. You let me go.”

The despair your parting words held hit home like a hammer. All this time you felt like you were missing a part of yourself. A phantom limb. Jungkook was that limb. Being so close to him you knew there wasn’t ever any doubt. He was much a part of you as your own self and standing there with him felt like it’d finally come home. 

You were so lost in your sadness that when he released your shoulders and embraced you, a small shriek of surprise left you. It was an embarrassing noise. One Jungkook knew would ultimately leave you blushing into his chest; the same chest that vibrated with laughter.

A part of you wanted to stay upset with him. To demand what was so funny, but even you could feel a smile curl your lips and the tension in your shoulders ease as you found comfort against him. 

You couldn’t stop your hands from pinching at his ticklish sides and playfully demand, “What was so funny?”

“You always did sound like the tiniest mouse when you were scared.”

Jungkook pressed his lips against your hair as he spoke. The intimacy of it sending a breath of  goosebumps along your skin.

“This is about you abandoning me not my odd noises.”

Your words came out in mumbles with your mouth still pressed into his chest. If you wanted to be more serious about the issue you would’ve pulled away from him, but your arms were helplessly glued around him. The heavy sigh that escaped Jungkook’s lips sent your hair fluttering, and you knew he wasn’t letting go either. 

“I know. It’s just easier to talk about how cute your noises are than about what happened.”

“Fair enough.”

You risked moving just enough to look around. It was close to eleven-thirty when you’d heard his knock on the door. The time now closer to midnight or after; the night is perfect to hide you both. But you couldn’t risk people walking by and gawking if one of you had an outburst. Besides, something so private deserved no audience. Even from the night herself. 

Reluctantly, you stepped back from him. Your hand beginning to reach out to take his own. You nodded in the direction of your apartment in hopes he would understand where you were wanting to go. 

“Come on. I think it’s safer if we just talk inside.”

Jungkook gave a simple nod that he agreed. His gaze wandered down to your hands as you began to take the few steps back to your home. Neither of you spoke as you walked to your front door. The only time you stopped was to pick up the box you’d discarded on your stoop. 

The silence continued to follow you both to your front door. Your fingers moved quickly to type in the code to enter with the sound of the deadbolt sliding home seconds later to allow you entrance. The two of you headed inside; your body resting on the door to hold it open for Jungkook to enter. 

You watched the careful way his feet carried him over the threshold. His eyes roaming around the small studio apartment, taking in everything he could as he came to a stop inside the hallway. Your apartment was a messy thing to behold.Books in towers, clothes hung up on makeshift closet racks, and the wall of art. 

A part of you wondered how long it would take him to realize what exactly it was that decorated that particular wall. This small shrine to a time when everything seemed so simple. Jungkook moved to remove his shoes, his head still looking up to take in an apartment he’d never seen, when his eyes lit up with the realization of what it was he was looking at. His gaze fixated on the wall of drawings and paintings. Every single one signed in the form of bunny ears and exaggerated initials. 

His eyes were so engrossed on them that he fumbled in taking off his shoes. So distracted he was by it that he fumbled, in a goofy dance, while trying to remove his shoes. His eyes on something he deemed more important. 

“You - you put up all the art I’d given you.”

His voice was little more than a whisper of wonder. Jungkook finally taking his eyes off the wall to look back at you. Appreciation brightening up all the features of his face until he practically glowed. 

Your nerves were beginning to fade as his attention was now falling back on you. Your free hand digging down into the pockets of your dress, the other tightening around the box in a weak attempt to stop them from fidgeting. You knew if you began to talk, they would fly around everywhere. A tell-tale sign that Jungkook knew meant you were two syllables away from stuttering. 

“Of course I did, Jungkook. You gave me one during every single holiday. Why would I throw them away?”

“We haven’t seen each other in years, Y/N, and yet, you kept these.”

You allowed yourself a brief moment to prepare yourself for what came next. Sure, you needed to take off your shoes but could’ve done so easily while still talking to him, but you needed to look away from him. To gather your wits and fight off the ache that swelled viciously back in your chest. Your fingers gingerly moving to touch along the lid of the box and reminding yourself what was inside. 

“Just because we ended...whatever it was that we were, Kook, doesn’t mean I would throw them all away. One bad moment couldn’t possibly diminish all the good ones.”

It was Jungkook’s turn to stand there with a face that told you plainly he didn’t believe you. A sad smile was the last thing you saw before his eyes turned to the floor. His own hands now deeply planted inside the pockets of his sweater. 

“I guess you’re right.”

“I am right,” you replied with certainty. It earned you a snort as he brought his face back up to look at you. 

The length of his hair hide his face from perfect view. Only allowing a small curtain to part just enough to allow one eye to peek through. 

“Let’s sit and talk about this. Ok?” 

You put the small box in front of you and gave it a good shake for good measure. Just in case there was anything else he randomly thought you wanted to speak about, but Jungkook knew. 

The two of you moved in silence towards the couch. When you sat down you somehow ended up both together, barely inches apart. The way you always used too when you had to share. A hidden air that nothing had changed between you when, of course, everything had. 

The box sat in your lap while your fingers drummed out a beat against the worn cardboard. Your body painfully aware of how close he was; closer than he ever used to sit before the kiss. This was ridiculous. It was just Jungkook - a much more grown, somehow even more handsome, version of the boy you kissed out there on the grass. 

You willed yourself to turn and look at him. Your breath hitching in your throat in surprise a second after. Jungkook was already staring at you. His gaze mapping out the contours of your face like he would save them to memory. As if he wasn’t sitting right beside you. His hand moved out to rest on the top of the box. His fingers grazing over yours making their way to its edge, and gently began to open it. 

“At first,” he began, voice breathless beside you, “I wasn’t sure if you’d want to see me. I wasn’t even sure if you’d take this.” His hand moved to open up the box, exposing the contents inside little by little. “The time we spent apart left me to think a lot about our time together. The memories we made. The ones I treasure.”

As Jungkook spoke his hand moved the dozen of photos around inside the box. You thought maybe he was just stirring them up; a way for him to fidget while he talked. He proved you wrong when his fingers snagged a photo he’d been searching for: a photo Yoongi had taken. You’d gone out with them to grab a bite to eat after they’d finish learning a new choreography. Taeyhung came along and Yoongi played the adult chaperon. 

Tae teased Jungkook relentlessly with a chant that he had a crush on you. When Tae had first started his teasing, every time his words went without a denial from Jungkook your heart felt like it was ready to burst. You could still feel the heat on your cheeks that you desperately tried to hide so he wouldn’t see. The time came eventually though, when Jungkook would answer him, and when he finally did your swelling heart began to break. 

“She’s my best friend, Tae.You can’t crush on your friends, anyways.”

You were so caught up in the memory you didn’t see when Jungkook had turned the photo around. Exposing the stark white of the back that was now covered in a letter of writing. 

“This day was the first day that I lied about us.” Jungkook said, his voice barely above a whisper now. So light you felt like you needed to lean in even closer just to hear him. “Taehyung was just embarrassing me so much and I thought if I denied it, he would leave it alone. But the truth is, I did have a crush on you.”

Jungkook’s words fell away into a backdrop of noise. You tried your best not to let your emotions carry you away from reason. You promised yourself all you wanted was an explanation to what happened between you, but you felt yourself breaking that promise as your eyes scanned over the back of the photo. 

“I told you I didn’t have a crush. I spoke it so loudly; I almost made myself believe it. But the rest of the time at dinner all I could recall was the way your face lit up with laughter. How you offered up extra food for us to take home for everyone else…

                But Mostly I remember how you looked

          At me 

               And I knew then: you were my happy place”

The tears you told yourself you wouldn’t shed pricked mercilessly to be released. Your head turning just enough to really take him in, and wasn’t the least bit surprised to find Jungkook already looking back. His hand now discarding the photo back inside the box and reached up to rest the palm of his hand on your cheek. And just like that, the first tear fell as yours eyes closed and you nuzzled into the feel of his hand. 

“Jungkook-“

“I needed to write down these moments for you to keep. The things I was too scared to say in fear of ruining what we had. You deserve to know, Y/N that I love you. The way you loved me, cared for me, has stayed with me for so many years.”

You were now only inches apart. So close if Jungkook really wanted he could have breathed you to him. You were both looking at one another, but there were moments you both stopped; your eyes falling to the others lips. The two of you so damn close, and yet your body was close to freezing up. The hidden panic of being rejected again keeping you from going those extra few inches. 

Jungkook’s thumb lightly moved across your cheek. The same painstakingly slow movement like when his eyes traced your face earlier. Committing this moment to his memory with the chance that you would pull away; deny him. How could you ever deny him? Didn’t this idiot know how much you loved him?

“Y/N.”

“Yes.”

Your voice was raspy from disuse. Your tongue licking across what felt like the desert now resided on your lips. And of course, Jungkook’s eyes hungrily ate up every flick of your tongue. 

“Would you allow me a redo of our first kiss?”

You wanted to scream at him, “Of course you idiot! Just do it and stop teasing!”

In reality, you stayed quiet. The only answer you were able to give a soft nod of your head. Jungkook’s face lit up like a firework, literally the bloom of your yes made his features light up in phases until the glow it created was absolutely breathtaking. The smile you’d witnessed a thousand times now felt brand new all over again; especially in the way it made your body feel like you were floating. 

You felt your lungs hold in the last breathe you took, a kidnapper of air, as you helplessly began to wait for him to make his move. The ugly sadness of the last few years began to try and rear its ugly head once more. Whispers about his lack of movement causing the fear of doubt to spring into your chest. You wanted so badly to put it out until it spread, but you were so accustomed to that voice you weren’t sure how you could ever defeat it. 

And in the span of a millisecond, Jungkook filled that last bit of space between you. His lips brushed against yours in a soft caress; waiting for you to move in those last few inches. He didn’t need to wait long before your body turned to fully face him. Your hands losing their previous grip on that shoebox, full of memories as love notes, and instead curled into the soft cotton of his sweatshirt. 

It was all the answer Jungkook needed to deepen the kiss. The soft caress of earlier turning more frantic; his other hand moving to mimic the other. Both holding each side of your face to tilt it up just right to meet his hungry lips. The kiss was now fueled by a desire that had long been suppressed between you. A feeling  like he would consume you from the mouth down, and you were more than willing to let him. 

A soft moan escaped your lips that somehow  broke this spell that had overtaken you both. He pulled away just enough, enough to show a satisfied smirk curl his lips, as he placed his forehead against yours. 

“Well, I would say that went better than expected.”

“And what were you expecting?”

You were still trying desperately to slow your racing heart. To not be consumed in the moment but ultimately found yourself reminiscing about the girl that day in the park. Who was so afraid to take that leap, and looking at Jungkook now you just wanted to tell her that the choice she made to take it was the best thing she’d ever done. 

“To be honest,” he said between another peek to your lips, “I had this terrible fear you would just throw me out.”

“I mean I still could,” you teased. 

Jungkook’s hands finally moved down from your face allowing you enough time to notice his body wasn’t the only thing that had changed.

“You have tattoos now!” You gawked. 

A breath of laughter escaped him as he looked down into his lap, at his right hand, and back at you. 

“Quite a few, actually.”

“Wow. It seems there’s a lot we’re going to have to catch up on.”

“I totally agree.”

Silence enveloped around you as you both began to work into a nervous dance. Neither of you exactly knew where it was supposed to go from here or the steps to get from point A to B. I mean, where did you begin? Did you go right into talking about the last year or so? New hobbies? 

Luckily, Jungkook saved you again as he leaned in and planted a lingering kiss on your lips. When he pulled away that sly smirk was back as he asked, “Would it be okay if we kissed a little while longer?” 

A smile of your own spread wide across your face. Your reply a sweet kiss against his lips.

[wavesmp3]

directors cut: oasis

[doing this entirely for myself, out of pure self indulgence lol] [this will be very messy/poorly organized and there will be spoilers]

okay so where to even begin omg..... we will start with the origins of oasis:

its actually, techinically a spin off of the world from this drabble with dino from svt. which the world in this drabble is what the world from oasis would look like very far in the future. but i changed a lot between writing that drabble and creating oasis. but there should be a scene in the drabble that is very similar to a part in oasis (hint: the first vision they got from saskila was not just a random vision with no meaning.......hehe)

but that drabble (its titled dreamscapes) was inspired by a mix of this post on tumblr about how nuclear waste warning signs sounded very cool and the book that i was reading called the children of blood and bone by tomi adeyemi

and then after i had made that drabble i saw dee’s (@/atbzkingdom’s) post about the time capsule collab, and i had a couple ideas of what i could do for it but i ultimately decided on what would eventually become oasis !! so i guess we really have dee and that collab to thank for this piece lol

now for the timeline of me writing:

so i started outlining this piece in the first couple days of january, and normally outlines take me a while to come up with just because i struggle in coming up with plot, but i knew that my spring semester of classes would be starting soon and that I didn’t have a lot of time so i just sort of grinded an outline out as well several paragraphs of pure worldbuilding. 

and then i started writing

and wow i was Really writing!! at my peak productivity i was easily getting down like 2k a day which for me is insane (for reference, i wrote 1k a day for tsiytt and i struggled my way through that) 

but then life happens classes had begun and my writing for oasis slowly become nothing... 

i really only found the time to work on the piece every other weekend, so i was really nervous that i wouldn’t finish in time (which technically i didn’t cause it was supposed to come out march 1st) but luckily i did

and at some point in february, i had lost so much of my momentum and motivation for this piece that i almost gave up on it. (at this point i was writing the scenes after they find the seat of wisdom destroyed) but again luckily i did not, but i personally can definitely see a decline in the quality of my writing towards the end (i mean maybe its in my head, but its sort of like i can see the loss of love for the wip in my writing at the end of it)

but don’t misunderstand, i still love oasis!! and in all honesty, i’m already considering starting a second draft to it, which is way sooner than i thought i would lol

also when i started writing this piece, i began writing it in the order that it would be read, but then halfway i switched to writing chronologically

anyways, something i learned while writing this piece, is that writing is a marathon. whereas, even with my longer pieces, i always viewed writing as a sprint. so as i start venturing into original works and more lengthy pieces of writing, i think this was a very valuable lesson for me to have learned.

okay now to the good stuff lol: [the first word of the bullet about the next chapter (?) is bolded for some crumbs of an organized commentary]

so this is jumping to the first past bit... but when i first wrote farah i had a very different plan for her character than who she ended up being. i had imagined that she’d be a lot more cold and a tough love sort of person. so that’s who i was writing when she’s first introduced in the flashback, but she very quickly become a much kinder full of love sort of person. but anyways i mention this because whenever i read that first part and the introduction of her character, i’m always a bit taken aback by how like mean here character is to crown then lol

also zoar !!!! its a terrible place, but i love that underground city

i also wrote the first flashback after i had written the scene where crown and chanhee are talking at his place in andhor, so the whole “fearless” connection was done very purposefully here since i knew how it’d be referenced in the next scene. someone mentioned this small connection in their reblog but i cant remember who 

also rashi is my favorite character xD

i personally think how crown and chanhee became friends (the running thing) is so cute 

this first bit of conversation between crown and chanhee when it switches back to the present and chanhee is giving them a tour of andhor is actually quite important to me, in the sense that its the first glimpse of how their actual relationship works and how they act together and just like their dynamic despite the fact that they havent seen each other in so long 

and yeah i think kyu mentioned this and a few others, but i love how awkward it is when chanhee and crown are in his home in andhor, cause one: they havent seen each other in years! but also: anyone else find going to someone’s place for the first time oddly intimate, like wow you’re opening up your home to me and now suddenly idk how to sit or stand or what to do with my arms... maybe just me LMAO

DUDE i struggled so hard with making it so that chanhee knew how impossible this whole mission was going to be without actually revealing that he knows about the mirror. it was so hard for me, hopefully it came out alright though. if anyone is reading this, did the twist(s) come as a shock to you? did you see it coming? or did it feel like it came out of absolutely no where and not in a good way?

yes i did name the desert after the department store kohls .....

i was so excited to explain all the mage types, i had so much fun writing this whole chapter 

fun fact: there was originally another sub group of psyche mages called dream mages who had like powers with dreams and stuff, but it ended up being irrelevant and really underdeveloped so it took it out

if anyone else was raised catholic or is catholic then i’d hope you recognize the names of all the relics.... i stole them from a prayer in the rosary whoops

it took me very long time to figure out exactly how the whole soul for the relic business would work, and idk if im a 100% satisfied with what it is/how it works/how it plays into rashi giving chanhee the locket

the note new gives crown.... the first slice of their friendship blooming, bro i eat that shit up 

this part where crown and rashi are talking after the lesson is actually one of my favorites. (like i said i love rashi, but i just really love her interreacting with crown, i think they have such an interesting dynamic and one that i’ve seen irl a lot between students and teachers, where the student adores the teacher... i’ll get more into this later) but moving on, i like it for a number of reasons. one: it’s the first time we as readers get to see rashi talk outside of her role as lesson master. two: i love crown getting this validation from rashi. it’s not really expanded on a lot, but crown’s magic is definitely a bit of an insecurity for them, in the way that they don’t feel like it belongs to them. but here rashi comes, this person that crown looks up to so much, and telling crown that they’re a bit similar when it comes to having magic. and surprising crown by comforting them. and... idk i just really love this moment for crown.

okay this line: “You call your mom Rashi?” is a lowkey reference to game plan,, if anyone knows what i’m talking about then please come clown me for nearly having the entire movie memorized 

oh, i also find the capital really cool. in my head the capital was always one huge building that contains an entire city but i realized while editing that i never really explained that, so idk if i successfully described the capital as cool as it is to me 

also the five friends part.....CUTE

when chanhee says “i know. i remember.” !!! girl i felt that line with my entire chest. idk why

okay wait this part: “But that knowledge seems to fall flat right now. Because despite everything, curiosity won the war.” i love it so much, its that tiny of sliver of hope that gets me personally

i think this part where crown’s pride is so hurt by no one telling them about chanhee’s healing magic is quite important because its a glimpse of how stubborn and prideful and headstrong of a character they can be 

also this : “ ‘and do you believe everything rashi says’ / without hesitation, you answer, ‘yes, of course’ “ this is another example of how highly crown thinks of rashi while growing up, almost to a fault. to the point where crown thought rashi could do no wrong. which i think is so interesting to think about when contrasted with the fight crown and chanhee have in the jungle where crown is the one discussing how rashi was wrong. i just like how much growth crown has had between all these years. and their opinion / perspective on rashi is one of the largest indicators of that growth. 

I also just really like that paragraph where shadow vs healing is explained... I think chanhee’s magic is so sick

oh also the names thing.... I can’t remember where I got the idea to do that from but im so glad I did. its one of my favorite aspects to this world, and it looks like a lot of other people enjoyed it as well. but apart from the intimacy of it, i love how the use of names affects one’s magic. and that paragraph where they go through all that a mage could do with a name. it gives me chills. just cause.... the possibilities

so many people have mentioned this line.... but I must too, so this part: “magic always comes with a price. this is new’s” ..... crazy

saskila scares me omg

again the first vision they see is not a random scene.... the easter eggs I planted with that mwahaha

yeah that scene where they’re outside the tent discussing who should give their name to saskila..... I love that scene chanhee’s “I don’t have anyone but you” and crown deflecting all that tension with the pinky promise and the saskila calling them lovers.... mwah

this random scene about the hot summer and laying with Farah and new in the gardens is another one of my favorite, it’s just so sweet

but this next scene makes me so sad

like I know what happens and I know that everything turns out okay but I get so scared for crown

yeah just that entire part after Rashi gets to them and when they’re going to the infirmary and before crown passes out... I love that whole part. i think i did an effective job of writing the gravity of that whole moment. cause it makes me a little stunned every time I read it. and I was pretty nervous about not being able to do that scene and that moment justice so I’m glad it turned out like it did

and again this line: magic always comes with a price, and in your case, it comes with several.

okay this part after they jump out of the ship and crown is talking to Chanhee but that other dude is talking too... I hope it’s not too confusing. I really wanted to show through the writing that this was all happening at the same time, but idk it came out well. like in my mind I have such a clear picture of this scene, but I have no clue if I did effective job of showing you guys what I’m seeing through the writing

oh yeah, crowns thing about dual wielding and engulfing the blades in flames.... I find that so cool. they’re so sick for that

yeah also the part where crowns hurt and they give Chanhee their name and they use it.... great moment, but I feel like my writing is a bit lacking here. i just know it could be better.

I think at this point of writing my classes had started, and again the disparity in writing quality is so obvious to me 

but the line where chanhee is describing how it all feels, and it says “chanhee feels golden” was inspired by daylight by taylor swift, theres a line in that song that goes “i used to think love would be burning red, but its golden” and like hello the parallels between that and crown’s fire magic.... something to think about 

so this next part where it’s back to the past and crown is getting in trouble (as crown does) but the part where crown is like asking but not directly asking for rashi’s name.... that part is so crazy to me cause it’s feels so out of place. but it was purposeful. i was trying to show that crown’s growing and that they’re at this weird age where they feel invincible. and also i wanted to put more emphasis on how being royal and the heir to the throne kind of effects the relationships crown has

and the last line of this part when rashi says “never abuse it” it gives me chills whew

the next part ... another part that i had high hopes for in the outlining stages of writing, but when it came to actually writing, this scene totally flopped, i’m gonna try not to dwell on this part too much cause i just know most of my comments will be about how much i don’t like it. but just overall, this scene could have been SO MUCH BETTER !

omg this little interaction: ““Look!” Chanhee deadpans, shooting you a glare. “The match is about to begin.” / “Wish me luck.” /  “I hope you lose.”” i think its so funny and cute

“ Your eyes immediately got to Rashi “ another example of how highly crown regards rashi 

“In Wurltan.” hmmmmmm sus.... *laughs in i love mentioning things that won’t make sense to reader until later*

okay this: “Yes, but not just any mage. I…” your voice trails off, pulling at your fingers and looking anywhere but at him. “I wanted you to know.” i cannot stand these two omg 

okay this part: “Chanhee thinks and overthinks the words spoken between you both. His mind drifts off to last night as well, that moment in the tent where you shared your warmth. He doesn’t even realize he’s staring at you until you give him a funny look. He quickly looks away and wonders if you’re overthinking everything as relentlessly as he is.” this part makes me think about what ina said about how chanhee shows his love by keeping you in his thoughts and YEAH chanhee’s love language in this piece is thinking about you and staring LOL

i hate this next part, not cause i don’t like it or anything it just makes me sad 

but this line: “Like if someone shoved you from behind right now, you wouldn’t push back; you’d let yourself fall straight to the ground.” i actually love that line

also this next entire bit i see SO clearly in mind, i hope i wrote it well enough so that you all saw it clearly too

when chanhee wipes the dirt.... girl i’m wiping my tears 

this line : “We’ll lean on each other.” mini love declaration sighhhhhh

yeah that whole part i love so much 

the seat of wisdom :(((( no!!!!!

so about this line: “He stares at his palms, at all the lies buried under each nail and at all the secrets shoved in every crack. He watches as they all blow up in front of his face.” >> i had like ten different versions of it before i settled on this one lol

okay so the first part of the last past flashback with crown realizing their true feelings... so soft 

news gone, rashis’s dead, :((( it makes me so sad

gosh okay this paragraph..... “I’ve always wondered why the gods blessed me and you the way that they have. They entrusted you with such great power. The only person to be both a healing and shadow mage in centuries. And then,” a tear falls from her eye, “they entrusted you to me.” Chanhee thinks this might be the first time he’s seen Rashi cry. “But now I have reason to believe that this was no accident. I’m beginning to think that the gods have always known it would come to this. And I’m starting,” she falters there, “I’m starting to spite them for it.”  it hurts so bad im sorry 

the first confrontation with harlan took me so long to write, and i’m still not sure if i actually like it, so again i will refrain from commenting lol

but the part where crown screams : “YOU LOST THE MIRROR OF JUSTICE!”  I think i told kyu this but this line makes me laugh because in my head its said the same way bella says: “you nicknamed my daughter after the lochness monster” whenever i see that line i smile lol

honestly this argument scene..... one of my absolute faves,,, everything lina said about it in that reblog just yes!yes!yes!! i can’t even comment about a particular part because all of it i love so much. its another part that leaves me slightly speechless.

but my favorite part of it might be how it ends hehe

these next couple parts were a bit diffucult to write because obviously the air between crown and chanhee is not very light right now so it was just hard to navigate their dynamic at these moments until they apologize but hopefully it turned out alright

i really like this line: “But this moment—with the scent of Harlan’s wine under his nose and the chill of Harlan’s blade against his neck—this moment feels nothing like those. It feels empty.” 

“ Chanhee just stares at you.“ -- staring as a love language exhibit b 

this whole part... chills bro 

“Chanhee exhales because for the first time since this afternoon he looks at your face and sees you.” -- exhibit c ....

okay wait another one of my favorite parts here: the spilled glass metaphor!! again please reference lina’s rb on this because everything said there... could not have said better myself. inspired by this writing advice by ocean vuong and yeah i just think the metaphor speaks for itself, one of my favorite lines (well paragraph) from the entire piece, actually from ALL of my works 

it was so hard to think up all of yumi’s different names, i was struggling

them talking about how farah will be happy to see chanhee...... how do i break it to you crown.....she’s dead...... awkward

red streak q! yesss. also i’m so sorry for killing off farah 

also kyunyu bestiessss

tbh this whole paragraph: “I get this overwhelming burst of honesty. As if what you both speak of is more than just a simple truth, as if it’s a commandant you blindly follow. What’s even odder is that I only feel that burst when you speak of each other.” Q stops walking and turns so that he faces Chanhee directly. “You speak of Crown constantly. And last night, when I met Crown, your title never left from the tip of their tongue. Humans are so simple really. We mention what we love.” Q pauses for a moment, bringing a hand under his chin. “Do you love Crown?” --i wrote it for myself no regrets

oh wait this bit too : “Quietly, Chanhee says, “I know.” / “Have you been watching?” / “I’ve been waiting.” / “For what?” / He meets your eyes. “For you.”” -- sometimes i do things that live rent free in my own mind

okay im so sorry for just quoting myself but this too : “ He sits back slightly. Shocked. Not by his love for you, but rather by how easily love walked into his heart and settled between his lungs “

lol the part where they try fooling q... why are crown and chanhee like this

the running !!!

yeah also every part after that... tears okay

yumi’s magic !!! its so cool to me, i love it so much 

i surprisingly don’t have much to say about the end... i mean i like it, but i just don’t have any comments. the last line tho... good one shawna

okay im done for you sake i hope no one read this lmao 

[itscalledbisexualcrisis]

Scrap Metal - Chapter 4

Summary: Hiro broke off her engagement to Kuvira three years ago and left Zaofu. All she wants is to live her quiet life in Republic City, away from her haunting past. Kuvira's catching up to her, but is she going to find what she's looking for? Or is she only going to reveal the secrets Hiro kept hidden from her all these years?

Chapter Summary: Hiro is called to Zaofu to help the city in preparation for Kuvira's attack. Meanwhile Kuvira is only growing in her strength.

Read on AO3 Here

The bath water sloshed around as Hiro got in, sighing into the steaming water. Kuvira smiled while taking off her robe. She got in alongside her lover, so that they were facing each other. It was a small tub but neither minded their close proximity. Their legs tangled together under the water and bubbles. Kuvira reached out to stroke one of Hiro’s calves. Hiro sighed again, opening her eyes to look at beautiful green eyes. Kuvira felt the water easing her sore muscles and she gave Hiro a lopsided grin.

Hiro’s hair was up in a top knot while Kuvira’s was in its usual braid. Hiro reached out and stroked the other girl’s incredibly long hair, taking it out of the braid slowly. Kuvira exhaled, relaxing into the hot water. It had been a long week for her and she was still recovering from the battle with the Red Lotus from weeks ago. From getting blasted by a combustion bender and a flying airbender to saving the Chief of the Southern Water Tribe, exhaustion was an understatement.

“You need a haircut,” Hiro observed.

“Yeah yeah yeah I’ll get to it.” She hadn’t even noticed these past few months just how long her hair was now. It reached her mid back at least. Her hands were busy massaging Hiro’s arms, covering them in soapy bubbles.

“Why don’t you just let me do it?”

Kuvira raised an eyebrow and she held back a smile.

“Darling, you’re very good with your hands.” She intertwined their hands together and brought them up to her lips to kiss each of Hiro’s knuckles. “But I don’t trust you to cut my hair. Besides, I thought you liked my long hair.”

“I do. But you’re always saying how hard it is to maintain and to keep out of the way when you’re training” Hiro’s hands travelled to Kuvira’s now wavy hair. It fanned out and around Kuvira before dipping into the water. Her hand scratched the back of Kuvira’s scalp, making her moan. Kuvira leaned into Hiro’s touch as she washed her hair, making sure to carefully get each strand. “What about a bob?”

Kuvira opened her eyes and glared at Hiro who wore a cheeky smirk. She splashed the girl playfully making Hiro yelp before pulling Kuvira by the waist. Their torsos were almost touching now. Hiro’s knees bent awkwardly spread out on either side of Kuvira’s body.

“You’re quite annoying,” she stated bluntly. Hiro hummed and pressed a quick kiss on Kuvira’s nose, making it scrunch.

“You love it though.” Hiro’s hands traced along Kuvira’s body, taking care around her bruises and scrapes. Years of being on the force have marked her up with various scars. Hiro traced a long scar running on the outside of Kuvira’s thigh. “And I love you. Every inch of you.”

Kuvira lovingly cupped Hiro’s cheek, stroking the smooth skin before leaning in and pressing a firm kiss on her lips.

---

“I need your help. Rumors are spreading that Kuvira is on her way to Zaofu. We need to fortify the city,” Suyin explained to Hiro over the phone. “You’re the one person that can help us. You know our technology better than anyone else and my husband needs help. Please.”

Hiro gnawed her lower lip. It had been a week since the coronation. Republic City was buzzing with anxiety over the news about the Earth Empire. Hiro kept her head down and tried her best to not think about it. Kuvira’s offer - well more like order - has been swimming in her head. She felt anxious that one of Kuvira’s men would show up at her door or at work one day. But no, they wouldn’t try to kidnap her right? Even Kuvira’s not crazy enough to do anything like that...right?

“I’m more than glad to help, but I haven’t worked on an actual defense system in years,” Hiro admitted. The last thing she worked on were the updates for Republic City. Even though it was recent, they were basic updates that were very outdated. Nothing like Zaofu. “I’m more involved with paperwork and Sato Mobiles nowadays.”

“Please. I’m running out of options. The United Republic can’t get troops out here in time to defend Zaofu. The only choice I have left is to protect my people. Asami has told me how you upgraded Republic City. She said your work was impeccable. I need you.”

Hiro sighed, looking out the window. There was already traffic building up and she groaned internally. She was already late to work this morning and needed to get going.

“I’ll think about it.” “Hurry, Hiro. We won’t have much time left.”

Hiro put the phone down, but couldn’t move from her spot in the living room. She wasn’t expecting a call from Suyin only a week after the failed coronation.

Kuvira’s army heading to Zaofu was unexpected. Sure she had threatened that she was reuniting the whole empire, but Zaofu was safe and secure. They weren’t like the other provinces of the Earth Empire starving or running rampant with bandits. Suyin had created a stable government and a well organized agricultural system to keep the people fed and taken care of, and they had long separated from the monarchy. It seemed like Kuvira was getting more power hungry by the day, and she wasn’t wasting any time in taking power.

But Hiro can tell from her short interactions with her, not to underestimate Kuvira. She was already considered a threat to the Republic Nation. More rumors were coming everyday in the papers about her war tactics and reeducation camps for the provinces and towns she does conquer. It made Hiro feel nauseous at the thought of Kuvira torturing people into submission. She knew Kuvira was harsh, but cruel? Suddenly Hiro wasn’t so sure about Kuvira trying to kidnap her.

She also still felt guilty about leaving Zaofu to help Kuvira all those years ago. Along with helping Kuvira, she left Zaofu defenseless. Kuvira had taken most of the troops from Zaofu, thus making it vulnerable to attack.

Another phone call interrupted her thoughts and she picked it up.

“Hey where are you? We have a test this morning for the next model,” Asami’s voice rang through the receiver. Hiro groaned.

“Sorry, sorry. I’ll be right there,” she croaked out. Her throat felt dry.

“You don’t sound okay, are you sick?”

“No, just got some news this morning,” Hiro reassured. She ran a hand through her short hair, pausing before continuing her train of thought. “Hey, I’ll explain more when I get there, but I need to take some time off.”

“Oh. I mean that’s fine, but is everything okay?” Asami asked, sounding worried.

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll explain more when I get there, but I’m gonna be out of the city for a bit.”

It wouldn’t make the past disappear, but it’d be a step in the right direction to help the city she left behind.

Maybe it was finally time to go back home.

---

Kuvira stared out the window as the tops of the metal domes of Zaofu began to come into view. She thinks back to when she first approached the city when she was a child when her parents dropped her off with Suyin because of her destructive behavior. In reality, she was still only a child. She remembers how much she resented Suyin and her family when she first came to Zaofu, the feeling of being unwanted and outcast gnawing away at her. Eventually, she grew accustomed to the Metal Clan and even considered it her home in a way. But there was always a part of her that didn’t feel like she belonged. At the end of the day, she wasn’t a Beifong. Even though she was a Metal Clan citizen, she wasn’t actually from there. She was Kuvira, a girl left on her own in a big world to fend for herself. 

She hears footsteps come up to her, but her gaze doesn’t leave the domes.

“Kuvira, we’re approaching Zaofu. We should be there within the next day or two,” Baatar reported. 

“Thank you Baatar.” She feels his arms wrap around her midsection. She leans back on him, letting him take her weight. She didn’t let Baatar show too much affection in public, it wasn’t a good image to project on the new empire. But they were alone in this train car, so she let them have a brief moment of intimacy.

“We’re finally going home,” he sighs. He looks out over her head at the metal domes he also grew up surrounded by. She doesn’t point out how it was a different feeling of home they felt. “It feels like yesterday we just left.”

“Indeed,” Kuvira answers, still partially lost in her memories. All of those fights with the other Beifong siblings slowly crept up in her mind. She smirked at the thought of seeing their shocked faces when she showed up at their front door. “We’ve done a lot of work. I’m proud of where we’ve come.” Baatar takes her by the shoulders and turns her around so she’s facing him. His hands gently rub her shoulders, trying to ease the tension around the muscle. Nowadays, she was never relaxed. She told herself she’ll relax once the entire kingdom is reunited under her rule. His face is broken out into a large grin.

“I know you said we shouldn’t be celebrating so soon, but I can’t help it.” He leans down and kisses her forehead, lingering there. “Our dreams are coming true.”

She smiled slightly before turning back around to look out the windows. She knew how eager her fiance could be. But she knew better than to celebrate early. There could still be many things that could go wrong and she knew Zaofu wouldn’t be easy to conquer. She had an obligation to her people to reunite all of the Earth Kingdom. She had an obligation to herself to return to Zaofu as a winner. She couldn’t let Suyin win because in her mind, if she let Suyin and Zaofu go, Kuvira would never live down that shame. There would always be a part of her that itched for it, the need to have full control. And Suyin would never be a complacent leader, even if Kuvira left Zaofu alone. It would always be a thorn in her side, until she knew she had it.

While she was stressed, she knew Baatar was eager to return for other reasons. Every night he discussed another aspect of their upcoming wedding with fervor. Kuvira had more things to focus on, so she let Baatar do most of the planning which he didn’t put up a fight about. It didn’t surprise her anymore that Baatar was always eager to please her. It was something she found endearing to watch.

In the reflection of the window, her eyes met Baatar’s as the domes grew larger in the distance. Below them, they could see the dark green tanks and soldiers rolling up towards the massive metal structure.

“Welcome home, Kuvira.”

---

Hiro kept her head downcast towards her lap the entire train ride to Zaofu. Getting off the newly remodeled train, she stepped off the bronze train and on to the sleek metal platform. The air was different than Republic City; clear and crisp on the open air platform as a few passengers got off. Hiro walked to the transport station that would take her straight to the center of Zaofu and at the gates of the Beifong estate.

After over three years, she couldn’t believe she was returning. The city seemed to have only gotten shinier and larger since her departure. Although things had noticeably changed, she felt at ease in her surroundings. Zaofu was just built differently than the rest of the world; there was a constant buzz of electricity in the air that made Hiro feel at peace. The city was also surrounded by looming mountains, creating its own pocket in the world. While someone else might feel claustrophobic or overwhelmed, it made Hiro feel right at home.

But she couldn’t swallow the anxious bubble building in her stomach as she got closer to the Beifong estate. She let herself observe Zaofu and old memories pop up. From her seat at the window, she saw figures already standing there waiting on the platform for her stop. It was getting darker out now and the domes have already closed for the night. Hiro was lucky to get on one of the last transport stations and she was the last one in her car. Upon closer inspection she realized it was Baatar Sr. waiting there. 

Her face broke up in a wide grin. She worked with Baatar Sr on many projects. Suyin was her mentor, guiding her in life and shaping her up to be the best version of herself that she could be. But Baatar Sr was her boss and she learned a lot of trade skills from the architect. Sometimes his inventions overlapped her department in security and they’d brainstorm together, testing his latest creations. Baatar Sr was one of the most intelligent men that Hiro’s ever met and someone she had the utmost respect for.

“Hiro.” Immediately Baatar Sr wrapped Hiro in a big hug. After a moment of initial shock, she hugged him back. Besides his salt and pepper hair, he hadn’t changed one bit. “It’s so good to see you again.”

“You too, Baatar. I’ve missed you, and Zaofu,” Hiro admitted. It was the first time she ever admitted out loud that she missed home. And saying those words made her realize just how nostalgic she had been. “Where’s Suyin?”

“She’s inside waiting. It seems that we’ve received a message from Kuvira.” Hiro was surprised.

“I thought Kuvira wasn’t coming for another few days?” Hiro asked. Baatar Sr frowned and shook his head.

“I’m afraid we underestimated her. Her army has marched here and are outside the gates right now,” he murmured. “We’re going to hear her out in the morning, but I’ve been working this whole day in preparation.”

Her heart dropped to her stomach. No. She was too late. For a split second Hiro thought about running back on the transport and going back to Republic City. Even though she told Asami about what was happening and got on the quickest train to Zaofu, it wasn’t enough. Kuvira was here and with an army. There was no use. No one else was coming and Zaofu was going to be taken just like the rest of the Earth Kingdom.

But then Hiro looked around her. The tall sleek metal buildings jutted out around her and the metal dome encased them in a bubble of protection. The memories from earlier came back and she realized how quiet everything was. These people didn’t deserve to be conquered. They were safe and living their lives here. It was their home; It was her home. She was tired of running, of avoiding responsibility. She may never forgive herself for leaving Suyin, but she wasn’t going to let anyone down this time. This newfound confidence drove down her fears and anxiety about herself. She couldn’t wallow anymore. She had three years to let the guilt eat her up, but now she was going to act. She was going to protect Zaofu, at any cost.

“Well that means I need to get to work,” Hiro said. Upon Baatar Sr’s surprised expression, she continued. “If I’m going to help, I’ll need you to catch me up.” Baatar gave a short nod and a smile, leading her inside.

---

“I’m not giving up Zaofu. I don’t care if you’ve brought your entire army!”

“Su I didn’t bring my army to threaten you. I wanted to show all what your son and I have accomplished.” Kuvira genuinely didn’t want to come into this meeting with ill intentions. She wanted to attempt to reconnect with Su and get her to join peacefully. Of course she knew Su was going to be difficult. Bringing Baatar Jr. and Bolin were her ways of trying to relate with the Beifongs. If she had any chance of getting Zaofu peacefully, this was the only way.

But as she looked around the room, it didn’t seem like that was going to be the case.

“You must realize what you’re doing is going against everything your father and I tried to teach you.”

“Son you belong here.”

Kuvira didn’t react, but inside she was seething. Even now, after all that she’s done they still didn’t take her seriously. They didn’t respect her or what she was doing. She should’ve known that all Su would care about is Baatar Jr’s wellbeing. They had no idea how difficult these past few years had been. She was the one who had to bring Zaofu soldiers together to go to Ba Sing Se, and she had to lead them around the Earth Kingdom these three years.

And everything she did, Baatar was behind her every step of the way. He was just to blame for everything as Kuvira was, in her mind. “Why? So that I can go on living in your shadow?”

“Don’t say that. Can’t you see she’s brainwashed you?”

“Ha!” she couldn’t help herself. “I didn’t brainwash him. I set him free. And now he’s accomplished more with me than he ever could’ve with you.” She did a lot of things, but she didn’t brainwash her people. And it wasn’t wrong, Baatar never would’ve accomplished anything substantial within Zaofu. Just like the rest of Zaofu; all this cultivated talent is wasted here for the Beifongs. The world needed to experience a fraction of what Zaofu had, and it wasn’t fair for Su to keep it all hidden away in this pocket world. 

Kuvira zoned out as Bolin tried to ‘sell’ the Beifongs on the Earth Empire. It was his turn now, seeing as Baatar was only antagonizing his family further. Being in this room brought back a lot of old memories for her. And standing around people she grew up with who were supposed to be her family left a bitter taste in her mouth. All those years growing up around rich children in the same house, but realizing she would never be accepted by them. Especially Opal. They had the rockiest relationship growing up together. They would constantly get into fights when they were little over the most trivial things. Suyin always reassured her that Opal would come around to having a sister. It never happened though and as they got older, they ended up walking the same hallways as strangers. It didn’t bother Kuvira. At least she wouldn’t admit it did. She was supposed to be my sister, instead I was her burden. I was a burden for all of them. “Hiro? You’re here too?” Bolin asked, bewildered. Kuvira whirled around and sure enough Hiro was there standing in the middle of the hallway, dumbfounded. She was on her way back to the lab, when her curiosity grew upon hearing shouting coming from Suyin’s office. “Well...this is kind of awkward.” “Sorry for interrupting,” Hiro stuttered out, backing away from the door.

“No Hiro, stay,” Su commanded. “You were smart enough to leave them, please tell Baatar what he’s doing is wrong.”

“Mother how many times do I have to tell you, there is nothing wrong with me!” Baatar argued. Kuvira put a hand on his shoulder before handing him a stack of papers. They were the terms for Zaofu to join the Earth Empire. 

“We’ll give you all some family time to talk things through. You have twenty-four hours to join the Empire, or we take the city by force,” Kuvira said matter of factly. She turned to Baatar. “Meet me at the transport station when you’re ready. And please,” she takes one last look around the room, “take all the time you need. Come, Bolin.”

And with that she walked out of Suyin’s office, closing the office doors behind her. Bolin trailed after her, a worried look on his face, but he kept quiet. Now it was only the three of them in the hallway and the silence was deafening.  

“I’m surprised to see you here,” Kuvira admitted. Hiro glared at her, not budging in her stance.

“Same here. I didn’t think you’d ever want to come back to Zaofu.”

The tension between them was high and Bolin began to shift uncomfortably from behind Kuvira.

“I’m gonna...head back on my own, if that’s okay!” he quickly added on to the end. Kuvira gave him a curt nod and he was bolting down the hallway towards the exit. It was followed by another short pause and both women watched each other very carefully.

Kuvira had gotten a good look at Hiro back in Republic City, but now dressed in casual slacks and a short sleeve shirt, she couldn’t help noticing how well they fit Hiro. She was never the type for business casual attire, more so preferring her overalls and work boots. And Kuvira could also tell that she seemed tired. The bags were clear under her eyes as well as how her face seemed riddled with fatigue. Her short hair was held back by a bandana she tied around, but it was coming undone.

“Well...it seems that Suyin has accepted you back,” Kuvira said carefully. “You must be right at home.” “I’m only here to do work,” Hiro answered. “I’m protecting everyone from you .”

Kuvira smiled and crossed her arms.

“Me? What, because I brought reinforcements as a back up plan? It wouldn’t be wise of me to come unarmed to an armored nation like Zaofu, would it?” she teased. It only made Hiro clench her fists in irritation and Kuvira noticed. Maybe she could have some fun with the young woman. “Plus, if I knew you were here, I would’ve worn my nicer uniform.”

Hiro choked on her breath. Was that flirting she sensed? And sure enough Kuvira had a shit eating smirk on her lips, amused at Hiro’s flustered state. 

“Quit playing your games. They won’t work on me.”

“I’m not playing any games. You all make me out to be the villain, but I’m just trying to help everyone,” Kuvira shrugged. She takes a step closer to Hiro, backing her into the wall. She could see the wavering in Hiro’s eyes and she submitted under Kuvira’s green piercing eyes. “I meant what I said. You will join me, one way or another.” If Hiro lost focus, she could swear she could feel Kuvira’s hot breath fan her face.

“If I didn’t know any better, I would think the Great Uniter was obsessed with me,” Hiro shot back. “Trouble with Baatar? Or are you just bored of using him?”

“Baatar is a grown adult. He can make his own decisions. He doesn’t need me or his mother to tell him what to think,” Kuvira defends.

“I’m sure you persuaded him in your own manipulative way,” Hiro spat. Kuvira sighed, taking a deep breath to control her anger. She didn’t want to have an all out brawl in the middle of Su’s house. Especially since it looked like they would be getting nowhere the peaceful route. 

“It was three years ago,” Kuvira affirmed.

“Yeah well, I never forgot.” Hiro closed her mouth immediately, clearly not meaning for those words to slip out. It was too late though, the truth was out. I never forgot about us. It made Kuvira pause. Hiro’s shoulders sagged and for a moment let her guard fall. “You might’ve forgotten, or maybe you don’t care, but just because it was years ago, it doesn’t change how you hurt me.”

Kuvira could only stare blankly at Hiro and take a step back, clearly not expecting that kind of reaction from Hiro. She’s seen Hiro at her highest and lowest points. How when she got very excited or passionate about something, she would bounce on her heels in child-like wonder. Or how when she was sad she would curl into herself and get even more impossibly quiet than usual. But this was a different type of low. She said her words with defeat laced through it and broke her gaze from Kuvira, as if ashamed.

“I didn’t forget.” And it was true. How could Kuvira forget about Hiro? How could she forget about her first love, who looked so small in front of her now. “I meant what I said. We grew apart, we wanted different things. There was a lot going on and I’m not proud of some of the things I’ve done. I never wanted to hurt you.” I thought it was going to end up with you.

The thought crossed Kuvira’s mind so fast that it startled her and she needed to take another step away from Hiro. She hadn’t had thoughts like that in a long time. They came often when Hiro first left, but she thought they had all gone away. That all the past feelings towards the other woman had faded and been replaced with her love for her country and Baatar. And Kuvira quickly forced herself to push down the doubt that crept up. She couldn’t have thoughts like that. She was with Baatar, and they were so close. She couldn’t ruin it all now with stupid old feelings.

Hiro hesitantly glanced up at Kuvira before brushing past her to walk down the rest of the hallway. Her eyes trailed after her and as Hiro retreated further down the hallway, Kuvira’s racing thoughts also subsided.

---

That night Hiro kept busy at the workstation, trying to find any holes she might’ve missed in Baatar’s schematics. Documents littered around the tables in a unusual mess. She wasn’t messy, but now with the time ticking she could only feel flustered. She slides out a keyboard from one of the machines and starts typing new codes and programs into it, double checking work she knows she’s already looked at. She can’t help it. Suyin and the twins had left, and she was anxiously waiting for them to return. It had been a few hours, and she reassured she would be back by the morning. But Hiro definitely couldn’t sleep, so instead she worked.

A bead of sweat dripped down as she realized she needed to go to one of the domes and check the mechanics herself. As soon as Baatar brought her to the estate, she got right to work. She worked nearly all of last night and all day after the meeting with Kuvira. She brushed away any time Baatar asked if she wanted a break. She needed to correct her mistakes, and there was no time left. She needed to focus on making sure Zaofu would be protected and use every second she had to save it.

Hiro made her way outside and towards the edge where the dome was. The construction was a marvel to her, and to make it more safe seemed impossible. Baatar’s design was nearly flawless.

Then she remembered who the enemy was and she started climbing up the ladder, tool belt strapped around her waist. She was so focused she didn’t notice Korra walking up and climbing alongside her.

“Hey, need a hand?” Hiro was shocked, but recovered, gripping her tools tightly. Down below near the house, Baatar was seated on the steps lost in thought. He paused working when Su left, too overcome with anxiety to even try to work. Jinora and Opal were arguing not far away about what to do. Hiro felt bad for Opal. She was close with her mom, so it only made sense she wanted to help. But from what Hiro knows about airbenders, it was highly inappropriate to incite violence.

“I’m okay, thank you though,” Hiro responded. Korra nodded, but stayed on the platform as Hiro opened a panel of wires. She began working on them diligently.

“So...I wanted to ask you. What should I be worried about with Kuvira?”

Hiro was so surprised she almost electrocuted herself on two wires.

“W-What?” Hiro stuttered.

“I mean, Su told me about you two,” Korra started. Hiro paused momentarily in her work, but her eyes trained on the wires before her. “You seem to know her pretty well. Is there anything you can tell me about her?”

“Why do you want to know? Aren’t you trying to take her down?” The lump settled in Hiro’s abdomen at her own words.

“I talked to her today. And I’m having doubts. Kuvira seems like she really cares about doing the right thing,” Korra reasoned. Hiro snorted, shaking her head and going back to her wires.

“Well that’s your first mistake,” Hiro spat. It caught Korra out of her thoughts. “Don’t underestimate Kuvira. She’s a master manipulator. She knows how to act sympathetic to get what she wants, but the second she doesn’t get what she wants,” two of the wires sparked wildly in her hands and Korra flinched, “she destroys it.”

Korra kept quiet, letting Hiro’s thoughts settle in. Hiro didn’t stop working until she was done and putting the panel back in its place.

“If you really want my advice, I’d say to get it over with,” Hiro confessed, the harsh reality settling into her shoulders. At this point she hardly noticed Korra there. After these past few weeks, she hated admitting it. She knew Su confidently wanted Kuvira destroyed, but Hiro held out hope that Kuvira was redeemable. “Believe me, Avatar Korra, it isn’t something that’s easy for me to admit. And you also have to believe me when I say, Kuvira had good intentions at first. Part of me truly believes that there’s still some good in her. I mean fuck, I was engaged to her. But maybe Suyin was right, maybe this is the only option.”

Before Korra can answer the crackling of the loudspeaker rang out around them.

“Attention citizens of Zaofu. Your leader, Su Beifong, attempted to attack me tonight while I slept, ignoring the terms of our truce. Luckily, I now have her and her assault team in custody.” It was Kuvira’s voice echoing throughout the night. Hiro’s eyes widened and she turned to Korra, who was also shocked at the news. “Rest assured that I will not take revenge on the peaceful citizens of Zaofu, unless your remaining representatives meet me outside the city at dawn to offer the full and unconditional surrender of your city. That is all.”

The loudspeaker cut out and they heard Opal calling for Korra’s name on the ground. Both of them clamored down the ladder to the other three at the steps.

“Korra! Korra, you can't let Kuvira get away with this! We have to go break out Mom and my brothers!” Opal pleaded.

“I agree. There’s no telling what Kuvira will do to them,” Hiro chimed.

“What you need is sleep ,” Baatar commanded from next to her. His voice made Hiro jump. He had been so quiet ever since Su and the twins left that it surprised her.

“But-”

“No,” he firmly said, gripping both of her shoulders. “You’ve worked nonstop ever since you got here last night. You need to rest. That’s an order.”

Hiro sighed, but knew better than to argue. And now that he had mentioned it, Hiro could feel her body calling out for a bed.

“I’ll wake you up tomorrow once everyone is home safe,” Baatar reassured. Hiro bit the inside of her cheek anxiously. Korra put a hand on her shoulder and she turned to face the Avatar.

“Jinora, Opal, and I will go talk to Kuvira at dawn, and, maybe, we can work something out. I promise, I'll do everything I can to keep the peace,” Korra comforted. Hiro nodded hesitantly before heading into the house, walking past Huan, Meelo and Ikki as she did.

She didn’t even have time to process her anxiety because as soon as she hit her bed, she knocked out right away.

---

Kuvira was enjoying herself more than she thought she would. She’s been planning on the Avatar’s return, but didn’t expect her to be so weak. Granted, Korra looked like shit in Kuvira’s opinion, with the peasant Earth Kingdom attire and frizzy hair. This definitely wasn’t the same Avatar she saved all those years ago in Zaofu from the Red Lotus. No, the girl in front of her now was sloppy and tried to fight with guttural strength than actual tact or thought.

Kuvira was always a gifted fighter. It’s how she moved up ranks with Suyin’s guards so quickly. She was one of the youngest guards ever to be promoted Captain in Zaofu and was wildly talented from a young age. Some even considered her one of the best metal benders of her time. She dedicated a lot of her youth to training and improving her gifted skillset. Although she trained under Suyin, who studied a more progressive and newer form of bending, Kuvira spent a lot of time studying old techniques as well. She kept herself grounded and alert, while also making sure to have complete awareness and control of her surroundings.

Not one foot out of line. Not one rock out of place. It was all about control.

For her, she expected more from Korra. Even with all four elements at her disposal, she could still barely land a decent hit on the Great Uniter. It was sad to watch really, but for Kuvira, it just drove her ego up. Here she was sparring with the Avatar, master of all four elements, and she barely broke a sweat.

Dare she say it, she was having fun.

“Come on, Avatar, get up! Show me what you've got!” she challenged smugly.

“No! Stay back!” Korra groaned, directing her attention to Opal standing behind Kuvira. “I can handle this.”

It made her even more confident knowing Opal was behind her, unable to help the Avatar. Who’s powerless now?

Kuvira got back in her fighting stance, eager for more. This is what got her blood pumping. This was what she was always good at. And she finally had an opponent worthy enough for her full strength as a metalbender.

Korra sent a fire punch right at Kuvira’s head, who dodged and countered the attack. Her body moved fluidly as she bent the ground at Korra’s feet, turning her around and putting her off balance. Korra counters and tries bending a chunk of earth back at Kuvira, but is met with a metal plate around her ankle. Kuvira throws her like a rag doll midair and to the ground a few yards away. She can hear her soldiers cheering after her.

“You have to go into the Avatar State! Do it !” Suyin commands from her platinum prison.

Kuvira is already lunging towards Korra, when she sees her eyes glow white and is propelled back by a gust of wind. The blast knocks the breath out of her and she groans, skidding across the earth and trying to regain her footing. Korra who’s now in the Avatar state is much quicker now and leaps towards Kuvira, landing right in front of her before sending another gust to push her back even further.

Kuvira is thrown back across the ground, her body groaning in pain from the sudden force. She feels her hair come out from its neat bun. It takes her a moment to make out her blurry vision, but when it clears, she looks up and sees Korra risen from the ground in an air spout. A giant boulder above her is about to crush her and Kuvira braces for the impact. Everything is moving too fast and the boulder is too big even for her to counter.

This was it. This was going to be her end

Suddenly, Korra fell out of the Avatar state, the boulder falling hopelessly next to her as Kuvira got on her feet. Korra had just tried to kill her under Suyin’s command. There was no turning back from that. It was now or never.

“I knew you were weak.” Kuvira shoots out two more metal bands and suspends Korra in the air by her wrists as she is getting ready for another attack. She smiles wickedly and sends Korra straight to the ground and trapping all but her head in a mound of earth. Kuvira stalks up to her, still trying to regain her breath as she releases six metal cuffs from her uniform. She bends them each to have a razor’s edge. This was it. This will show everyone that she should be taken seriously. That it wasn’t the monarchy or some stupid prince who saved the Earth Kingdom. It was all her. And she was going to make an example of Korra to begin the new era of her rule of the Earth Empire. I will prove to them that I will not be pushed around.

As she gets ready to end it, a squall of air sends her flying back towards her army. She grunts as she lands harshly on her back and two of her soldiers help her to her feet. Her eyes land on the airbenders and she scowls.

“You broke our agreement! Attack!”

---

Hours passed, but Hiro didn’t even feel like she slept an hour. When she woke up the sun was up and shining through the window of the guest room. Dawn. It was way past dawn now.

She flung herself out of bed, realizing that Baatar never came to get her. Which only meant that Su and the twins never returned. Her heart was racing as she sprinted down the empty hallways, trying to find someone. Zaofu was unusually quiet this morning, which only made her nausea grow.

Hiro burst through the main doors and saw Ikki and Meelo flying on to Pepper, the flying bison. Baatar Sr and Huan were also there, opening the dome for them to fly out of.

“Wait! Let me go with you!” Hiro shouted. Everyone was surprised. She had only been asleep for a few hours and no one was planning on waking her for a while.

“Uh no can do m’am. We’re going over enemy lines,” Meelo huffed. Ikki had the reins in her hands and was ready to take off. The motion drove Hiro to a panic.

“Please, I can help!” Hiro tried to push her way towards them, but Baatar held her back. 

“You can’t leave Hiro, it’s too dangerous,” Baatar Sr said worriedly. “You need to stay here in Zaofu with us, you can’t risk getting captured. We can still save Zaofu.”

“No! We can’t.” His eyes widened at Hiro’s confession. Zaofu was a lost cause. They were going to be sitting here waiting to be taken by Kuvira. There was nothing left here for Hiro to do. She wet her lips and looked him dead in the eye. “Listen, I think...I think I can talk to her.”

“What?”

“Call me crazy, but I think I can get through to Kuvira.” “What do you mean?” Ikki inquired, her attention piquing at Hiro’s confession. “I don’t know exactly. But yesterday, she said something to me. I can save everyone if I can just sit down and talk to her.” She left out the part about Kuvira’s fixation on Hiro joining the Empire. She knew she could use herself as leverage if it came down to it.

But there was also something else on her mind ever since her conversation with Korra last night. Kuvira was power hungry and letting the control get to her. However their interaction yesterday showed a bit of humanity from Kuvira and Hiro couldn’t put a finger on the anxious feeling she had until now.

There was hope. Suyin was wrong. There was something still redeemable in Kuvira. It was small and Hiro could barely make it out, but when she looked into Kuvira’s eyes yesterday, she swore she could see it. Fear . And fear meant that Kuvira was holding something back: a weakness. If Hiro could find Kuvira’s weakness, then maybe, maybe , she could save the Earth Kingdom. And possibly even save Kuvira from herself.

Ikki and Meelo exchanged concerned looks before Ikki turned to her.

“Hurry, hop on.” Hiro did as she was instructed and climbed on to Pepper. She looked down at Baatar and Huan with sadness in her eyes. She could see how grief stricken Baatar was. Huan was all that was left of their children. That look he gave her of utter defeat, made her solidify her decision. She may not have been able to save Zaofu, but she was going to save everyone. Even if that meant throwing herself in front of her dictator ex-fiance to do it.

---

Chaos ensued. Opal and Jinora tried to keep a steady tornado to push the army back. They were able to throw back the front lines and keep them from advancing. Kuvira struggles against the wind, but manages to gain her footing enough to shoot two metal plates out at Opal, successfully handcuffing her wrists together. Opal falls to the ground in surprise at her new restraints.

“Opal!” Jinora only has time to react before she’s also restrained by Kuvira’s metal bands. The army behind her is still struggling to get back in formation when Kuvira walks up to the three of them. Her hair is an utter mess now, but she couldn’t care less. She leers down at the airbenders with distaste.

“I have to say, you both are strong to keep my army back, but not strong enough,” she taunts.

“Dive Pepper, dive!” Kuvira turns her attention above to the flying bison coming down. On it she sees two airbenders and… “Hiro?”

It comes out in a whisper and she shakes her head, focusing on the three captured before her. She releases more sharp metal from her uniform, directing them on Jinora, Opal and Korra. Her attention is drawn to Korra, who seems to be coming from her earth prison.

“Any closer and I take them out, right now,” Kuvira threatened. Ikki gripped the reins tighter on Pepper, causing them to stop midair. Below them the army was almost all put together again, getting ready to storm Zaofu and the three prisoners. “Hold, we don’t want to aggravate the air nation,” she turns her attention to the people on the bison, “These two interfered  during a peace treaty, therefore considered terrorists to the Earth Empire. They will be taken and punished accordingly.”

Hiro looked on in horror between Meelo and Ikki. They were two kids, and even though they knew how to kick ass, this was beyond them. She could see them struggling with what to do. On one hand if they tried saving Jinora, Opal and Korra, Kuvira could kill them in an instant. But they couldn’t just fly back from their mission without Korra and their sister. It was a choice that needed to be made and Hiro only had a second to think before reacting herself.

“Kuvira!”

---

“Kuvira! Please stop this!” Hiro begged. Kuvira barely glanced at her, ready to turn around and leave the Avatar and airbenders for her soldiers to take care of. She needed to head into Zaofu herself if she wanted to claim a true victory. “If you let them go, I’ll go with you willingly!”

That made Kuvira hesitate. Hiro now had her full attention and Hiro noticed. The army around them were antsy, the tension in the air was bursting at the seams. Kuvira knew Hiro could only get a few words in before everything fell apart.

“Now why would I want that?” Kuvira teased. 

“You know I created the best security systems for Zaofu and for you back in Ba Sing Se. I know how the security systems work and how to make them better, better than Baatar or Varrick. I could take the Earth Empire to newer heights than you could’ve ever imagined.” The words spilled out of Hiro so fast she had to gasp at the end to catch her breath as she heaved. All four airbenders looked on at her in shock and Korra had just regained consciousness at Hiro’s speech. She didn’t take her eyes off of Kuvira for a second though.

Kuvira was impressed. Sure she could easily take Hiro forcibly right now and take that sky bison and Airbenders with them for interfering with international affairs. But Kuvira also needed to think of the bigger picture. If she was going to continue ruling the Earth Empire, she had to show at least some compassion as a leader. Already people were saying she was too harsh and cruel of a ruler to the Earth citizens. She used her military strength as a weapon often to get what she wanted. It was easy to make people obey when they were put in tight positions.

But she already wasn’t popular with the United Republic. It didn’t let Kuvira go by that she had air benders in her clutches. It wouldn’t be good to have a second large enemy like the Air Nation, especially after seeing their strength with only two of them. No, Kuvira was going to be smart about this and as diplomatic as she could be.

“Hiro, no!” Suyin cried, but she was ignored. Hiro motioned for Ikki to land Pepper, who did so hesitantly. Kuvira didn’t react at first, but simply watched as Hiro climbed down from the bison and held both arms up in surrender.

“You’ve got a deal. The Avatar and airbenders are free to go.” Kuvira returns all her metal razors back to her uniform and unbends the earth from Korra who fell to the ground immediately. Jinora and Opal rushed to her side, trying to get her on Pepper as quickly as possible.

Hiro’s eyes widened.

“What about Suyin, Wing and Wei?” Her eyes traveled nervously to the trio in their platinum boxes. They had been stunned by her appearance into silence, unable to even think of words to react to what was happening. 

“It’d be foolish of me to let go the previous leader of Zaofu who has been trying to overthrow my empire, go. And her assault team who tried to attack me in the middle of the night while I was asleep. They stay, and that’s final.” Kuvira motioned for her soldiers to advance on to Hiro. Two of them flanked her as she walked towards Kuvira. “I have no issues with the Air Nation or the Avatar. She wanted to fight me, so we did, and the airbenders attacked me during a truce. I think I’m being more than fair here.”

“Cut the bullshit. You knew what you were doing.” Kuvira’s lip quirked upwards before turning back to the sky bison and the individuals on it, looking on in horror.

“You might want to get going,” she instructed. “Make sure to tell Master Tenzin and President Raiko, that this was a gift from me. Don’t take it for granted.” She gave an extra devious smile to Opal who could only glare down back at her as the bison took off into the air. She turned to her army still anxiously waiting for their next orders. Kuvira thrusts her arm in the air in victory a wide smile embellished on her lips.

“Zaofu is ours!” The army cheers alongside as the dust clears from the airbender’s tornado. She turns to Hiro who has been led to stand directly in front of her now. She’s still on her high as she looks at the other metalbender triumphantly. “Oh Hiro. It’s good to be home.”

---

“I think Su should do something about this.” Kuvira had her head upside down and was drying her hair vigorously with a towel. “What do you mean?” she asked groggily, sleepy from their bath. She lay cuddled on her side of the bed, waiting for Kuvira. “The Earth Kingdom is in ruins. Master Tenzin and President Raiko are coming tomorrow and I’m assuming it’s to ask Suyin for help.” Hiro nodded, listening carefully. Kuvira had been keeping up with the news closely from around the Earth Kingdom. The only province that wasn’t thrown in chaos was Zaofu and technically they were a separate entity from the rest of the nation. It seemed like everyday they were getting more distress messages from neighboring villages and towns asking for food and resources. They tried their best, but could only do so much given the circumstances. Bandits had sprung up and were invading smaller towns and the kingdom seemed to have fallen overnight. It seemed like no matter how many messages or pleas they got, Suyin stayed neutral much to Kuvira’s annoyance.

“Things are rough out there. We’re lucky we’re safe here, in Zaofu.” Kuvira snorted at Hiro’s quite ignorant response. She flipped her head back and let her hair cascaded down her back. It was still quite damp, but she couldn’t be bothered. It was always such a bitch to dry. Maybe Hiro was right...she did need a haircut. “But does that bother you? We’re lucky but what about everyone else?” Kuvira threw the towel in a laundry bin before climbing into bed next to Hiro. She lay facing the other girl, who was looking at her curiously.

“Why is this on your mind so much?” Hiro inquired.

“I don’t know. Maybe I don’t like seeing people hurting when I know we could be doing something...that I could be helping them.”

“It doesn’t always have to be about you darling,” Hiro sighed. She reached over and squeezed Kuvira’s shoulder. She was careful though, knowing it was still sore. Her thick eyebrows knit in confusion.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I mean that you don’t need to always be at the front of the fight. You already do so much for us, for the Metal Clan. Isn’t that enough?” “But there’s a whole country of people out there starving and dying!” Hiro was surprised when Kuvira raised her voice. “All Suyin and the Metal Clan do is protect their own.” Hiro caught the tone of bitterness in her voice.

“Why are you getting mad at me for this?” she asked carefully. “I’m not!” Kuvira tugged away, making Hiro’s hand drop between them. She lay on her back, staring up at the ceiling. “Well it seems like you are!” Hiro huffed. She leaned up on an elbow, trying to make Kuvira look at her, but her eyes were glued to the ceiling. She was trying to search it for the answers. There just had to be something more to life than just sitting in Zaofu. It seemed like this was something calling for her to do.

“You should be upset. This isn’t about you or me or Zaofu. It’s...it’s about everyone.” The realization was clear in her voice as she struggled to pull her thoughts together. It had been weighing on her mind now, this feeling of dissatisfaction and guilt building inside her. Who was she to be living comfy when the rest of the world was suffering? “And from what it seems, the Avatar is out of commission for who knows how long.”

Everyone knew that Avatar Korra needed time to recover after the final battle with the Red Lotus. Kuvira had been on the front lines for that fight. She saw the beating that Korra took from Zaheer and his team. Rumors are that she’s gone back home to the Southern Water Tribe to recover, probably with the help of Katara. Who knows when she’d be well enough to return to her Avatar duties? Or if she even realizes how the rest of the world is falling apart without her? Kuvira didn’t blame her, but without the Avatar or any real leadership, someone needed to step up.

“So that’s what you think? You’re trying to be the Avatar and take on the responsibility of the world now?” Hiro asked, quirking an eyebrow.

“Is that wrong? I don’t see you doing anything to help.”

“Because it’s not my job. My life is here with you in Zaofu and the technology I work with everyday. Being with you is enough for me,” Hiro sighed. Clearly annoyed, she turned on her side with her back facing Kuvira. But her ears perked up to Hiro’s words and now she was the one sat up and staring at her partner’s back.

“What does that mean?” The familiarity of the conversation shifted and Kuvira clenched her jaw, knowing what was coming next. “I’m not doing this again.”

“No you already started, so say it,” she urged.

Hiro exhaled, already regretting opening this can of problems once again. She sat up and turned on the bedside lamp. She stayed seated on the edge of the bed with her back to Kuvira.

“You just can’t sit still Kuvira.” Hiro’s voice was laced with disappointment, which made Kuvira’s heart sink. The last thing she wanted was Hiro to be disappointed in her, her biggest advocate. “I love how passionate you are, about your people and your job, but it’s hard to keep up with. I’m not you. I don’t move as fast or make quick spur of the moment decisions. It’s not easy for me. Sometimes it just feels like our life isn’t enough for you that you have to make up for it by doing reckless things.”

“Sorry it’s such a problem for you,” she bit back. She let the sadness creep into her voice and she could feel the anger bubbling down to her hands from her heart. “If I’m such a burden then why are you with me then?”

Hiro turned to look at her, face as hard as stone. She was wide awake now and pissed. Their gentle loving bath from earlier was completely erased from both of their minds.

“See! This is what I don’t want to do! You take something I say and take it to the extreme!” Hiro fell back on the bed and ran a hand over her face.

“You’ve said enough.” Kuvira pushed the covers off of her and headed towards the door.

“Where are you going?”

She didn’t respond, she just left their bedroom. Maybe she’d go to the gym and hit something or find a sizable rock to launch in the courtyard. Wherever she decided to go, it was better than being insulted by her own fiance.

[the-nysh]

Bkdk fic recs? Not any particular genre/setting; just stories that you fell in love with.

Ohoo!! *___* Yes, do I have a handful of them! Time to go through mypersonal notes and share what I’ve saved!

First up are some of my fav prolificauthors (and their well-known, must-read fics), whose attention to detail, emotionaldepth, and characterizations I trust and therefore I would read anything they write of the pair:

 @atomicblonde/lalazee (Blood Moon), for writingsome of the most riveting emotional roller coasters, whose power with words anddialogue can both raze mountains and completely swoon you asunder with theirintensity. All her fics are worth reading (and there are plenty!) But I thinkthe one that particularly touched me most was Ugly Beautiful. :’)

@driftingglass (Before Midnight), forwriting some of the most immersive stories coiled with gripping and buildingtension, both plot wise and relationship wise. Also has one of the mostdescriptive and intense voices. And for writing a Deku with thedetermined/defiant agency he deserves.    

@soulestring/soulstring(Falling, I feel you), for some ofthe most emotionally raw & vulnerable scenes of feelings realization I’veseen. Through all the extensive denial, fear, reluctance, and passion towardslove. Chronic emotional constipation at its crippling worst and most beautifullyrewarding. Oho, I’ve reread these many times for just how strongly they stuckwith me. (Also features Kiri as a valuable mvp, oh thank goodness

@osakakitty (Make Every Moment Last,Like the Moon), mmm,for a finesse with sweeping/honest tenderness with enough resonance to make oneweep. I know many readers who have fallen victim to it. Not from sadness, butfrom just how thoroughly touching and profound her stories are. :’) What ablessing, indeed.  

@kanaevr/Kanae_vR(The Space Between), forwriting with an awareness and careful handling of both the characters and plotthat I could best describe as sincere.The detailed realism and slice of life aspects are both relatable and fun, which contribute towards a whole,well-rounded package that is thoroughly engaging to read.  

Next, aside from the many works available from the authors above, are some fav individual fics that I’mparticularly fond of:

In the Eye of the Storm by @cheshirebutton,THE iconic naga au. If there’s one fic in the fandom I’d consider my fav, I think it’d be this one. Which I’ve read 5+ times, and would definitely reread again. 8D Ilove it that much. Everything is handled with so much impressive quality and care;almost anything introduced has a purpose that will become relevant again later(which is why rereading is so fun). From the impeccable world building to thecharacterizations, the absolute stakes and peril involved that drives them towardsbelievable, life-altering decisions (the weightthey must consider between duty and personal feelings)…from the wedges thatkept them stubbornly apart, towards a curious magnetism and blooming/meaningfulsolidarity that brings them closer together even stronger. :’)) This is classicenemies to reluctant allies to lovers done beautifully, and has me convinced oftheir mutual feelings 1000%. Omg, they feel somuch. ;A; Whenever there’s a ch update I have to immediately dropeverything because it’s just thatgood, ahhh.

Hunting the Past by Justaperson1718, theassassin and blackmailed!bodyguard au! 8D Which happens to be my fav actionfic. It’s so smart and fast-paced, from all the convoluted planning and tensesteps involved to set things right, damn! We have these expertly specializedpros, extremely capable in their respective fields…but who are also fumblingdorks unaccustomed to sorting out their feelings and properly communicating(esp after all the conditioning/exp they’ve been through). It’s so fun to watch them executemissions and then transition to the domestic (yet still very muchliving on edge) down time with them learning to bond while taking care ofKouta. Unexpected surrogate action parents due to dire circumstances, aha!  

The Mummy by Spectra, my favadventure fic. A retelling of the classic movie, but done so well and with style. Probably some of the most genuine fun I’vehad reading fics in this fandom, ahaha what a riot. XD From the crazyshenanigans they get caught up in to the wholesome heh copious amount ofbonding from their time together. Truly, all scenes are extremely well paced andallotted for the type of ‘meat’ readers are in for. Kacchan is so comically (andseriously) overprotective of Deku, omg I love it. (Considering the endlesstypes of human & undead enemies after them, ahh!) Bonus, Kiri is such a goodaccompanying bro, what a delight.

Some Read It For The Articlesby low_commotion,for some of the nerdiest awkward dork bonding, from their shared seriousinterest in hero mags, to their more hands-on practical applications in the gymtogether (ayyy!! ;D)…all while everyone else in the class assumes it’s over‘something else’ and blows it out of proportion (oho~ but things ARE slowlyhappening!) It’s such a hilarious and witty slow burn scenario where they helpeach other improve, but I think what really shines are the faithfulcharacterizations. Deku has such a distinct rambling headspace, and while thepov is limited, the respectable merits inherent to Kacchan’s character stillshine…like ahh, that’s it; that’s why he’s a fav. A very fun and unique ficindeed!  

Just Like The Comics by brichibi,oh man!! The angst and feels truly got me in this ���what-if’ scenario where Dekunever earned ofa, never went to U.A., and slowly became so jaded/bitter athaving to settle for something other than his dream, his growing envywitnessing Kacchan achieve his burned too much to bear. It’s such a fascinating and segmented Deku characterstudy where he has to discover what he really wants in life, with plenty ofmeta jabs at canon that had me going whoa!!! :O Plus Kacchan is as patient andaccommodating to Deku’s pace as he can be. :’) (Which…became another point ofcontention for Deku, to not hold him back from becoming the best…yet I love the counter, ‘I don’thave everything; I don’t have you.’ fuufjgkgh!!! ;A;)

And now even MORE fics that I like/enjoy, which have caught my attention, orthat I’m currently eagerly waiting for more updates:

warm hands and shipwreck on the red sea byflowercafeAHHHHH!!! Warm hands features my most fav headcanon: heated quirk musclemassages. (Omg it’s so tender/intimate; I’m so weak ;A;) While shipwreck featuresshark mer!Kacchan! 8D I love the realistic attention to detail/descriptions andpenchant for marine biology, ohh it has such an immersive Life of Pi feel. (Pluswelcome room for spice, oho.) Actually, all this author’s works are great withtheir extremely strong starts, definitely keeping watch!

under a hollow sun by umbrage, probablymy personal choice for the classic fantasy au most faithfully adapted (YESSfinally one that matches what I’d been searching for 8’D with a fun supportiveKiri too! *grovels at author’s feet*) Many classmates are incorporated in a fun way too! (Authoralso wrote another fic featuring funny accidental quirk misfire during certain…activitiesand dang, I wish more authors would make use of that too, ahaha! XD)  

springtime of youth by claimedbydaryl,I’m extremely fond of the last chapter, for how realistic and awkwardly naturalthe approach is, definitely left a lasting impression.  

Incandescent Snow by Chicory, acarefully crafted au and scenario that is gorgeous and tentative, with well-madeoc’s who contribute their unique pov’s of the boys’ growing relationship.  

Collision by stardustacademia(cosmiclarents), one of the most thorough and in-depth looks into Kacchan’spsyche and angst I’ve seen, but it’s unfortunately been deleted. :’(( Noting itanyway for remembrance’s sake.

Ambivalent by bakuboi ohdang this was such a unique approach to Kacchan’s pov and source of his anger I’veseen, and impressive writing insight for being anime-only too.

A Haze of Crystal by semiautomatichearts,ooh I really enjoyed the emotional depth in this one; the author has anotherhanahaki story I’m keeping an eye on as well.

how he should’ve known (andhow it turned out) by vannral, theirapproach to the classic fake dating trope caught my attention, but all theirworks are fun and worth checking out too! :D Def keeping an eye on their stuff.

The Devil Blues by iknewamantheir police detective au is so fun and well done; oho those sparks fly! They’vewritten more stuff with unique/interesting approaches I’ve enjoyed too.

Map of Scars by Celestialgunfireopera,ohh :’)) a very touching and vulnerable moment, through particular intimacy andacknowledgment of past actions previously left unsaid. That type of meaningful tendernessand skinship really hits the spot.  

By Design by EtherealBeing(also author of Bluebird), this one is such a unique idea/premise I have not seenbefore! :O Extremely fascinated to see where it’s going.

Izuku’s Home for Wayward Petsby glamour_weeb,wolfdog-hybrid rescue and rehab au, omg it’s so charming and wholesome. :’3  

Shadows and Gold by Sonday, thedesert prince/servant au, whoa!!  

Fireflies for the Moon byBestTankTopist (Keyade), the historical samurai au! Definitely got my eyes onit for more.  

Lunch on Tuesdays by @rironomind,and of course, I have to rec my buddy for her casual, slice of life take ofthese disaster dumbasses that is both fun and surprisingly bold (for tackling that topic in a way no one else has)with authentic Japanese flair (only rom could think of the meaningful gesture ofDeku sitting in seiza, like wow why have I not seen anyone else incorporatesuch behavior before, dang). Thanks so much, rom.

And there we go! Hopefully that’s a big enough handful of fics toappreciate, as I’ve read plenty more where these came from. :’D There are somany talented writers and amazing fics in the fandom worth all the support!  

[amarmeme]

The Shelved Works of Varric Tethras: CH 17 -- All Business

Pairing: Cassandra Pentaghast/ Varric Tethras Synopsis:  Varric Tethras’ literary cast-offs, abandoned for various reasons. Until a certain determined Seeker discovers the lot. Chapter Synopsis: Varric convinces Cassandra to rest and they finally have a chance to start real talking. On AO3

Dashed on a torn page from Hard in Hightown 3: The Re-Punchening

Story idea -- Gang leader is sole survivor of an ambush. Heads back to Ferelden in search of his her long lost family. Gets sucked into defending village from fade rift. Joins the Inquisition. Finds redemption?

If hard pressed, Cassandra couldn’t recount how long she’d been sitting in the sickened Seeker’s quarters. Judging by Varric’s considering gaze, the man could no doubt fill her in with absolute precision. For what seemed like the hundredth time, he petitioned her to abandoned the post.

“Come to bed, Cass.”

“Cole had said--”

“--I know what he said, but I don’t even think he even understands what sleeping is.”

She sighed, unable to form a coherent argument. Although Cole had said her presence was helpful, she’d be of little use to anyone else in her current state. A constant stream of jarring, jumbled thoughts flew through her mind, flashes of Varric’s embrace swimming in tandem with Daniel’s red streaked face and subsequent strike of mercy. Everything sweet became tainted, coated in a red haze. Perhaps it was time to sleep, in a proper bed.

“Alright.”

Varric wasted no time. Cassandra was dragged out of her wooden chair, lower back crying in protest. He spirited her out of the dark room, ushering her down the hall past the garden with the tight grip of a hand. The fresh  air was revitalizing, the morning chill nipping her senses and granting a sense of clarity. Several onlookers stood stock still with wide, worried eyes as the pair passed. Had it really been that long since their return to Skyhold with Seeker Taubert? Each person held the expression of someone spotting a ghost.

“Has something happened, Varric?”

He swung open the door to his room, sweeping her inside before shutting it with a shoulder. Leaning against the wood, he sighed sharply.

“Just the usual. The Inquisitor jumped through a magic mirror, our resident witch’s almost frolicking through the gardens after figuring how to turn into a -- I shit you not -- dragon. And you’re guarding a ticking lyrium bomb.” He shook his head. “How we’re not dead yet I don’t understand.”

“A dragon?!” Cassandra slumped against Varric’s bedpost. Apparently a lot had happened in a short amount of time.

“Oh, and I told you this last night.” She began to protest, not remembering the discussion. “I can see your gears working there, Seeker, and I’m gonna stop you. Just get in the damn bed.”

She scoffed, but let herself be shooed from the post. Sitting on the edge of the bed, she pried off her boots. They tumbled to the floor. The sound rang in her thoughts, stirring up ideas of undressing before Varric. She was not in her quarters, of course.

“Why am I here?” Cassandra threw back the covers and crawled onto the soft mattress. As soon as her head hit the pillow, she realized she didn’t much care.

“Because my bed’s somehow bigger than yours. Scoot over, I’m coming in too.”

She rolled her eyes. “If you are expecting anything, don’t.”

“I can’t believe you haven’t figured out how this works yet, Cass. When you’re worried, I’m worried. When you’re losing shut-eye. So am I.”

Her heart pattered in double time. It was such a Varric thing to say, to be wrapped up in her issues like they were his too. The thought stilled her. Were they his issues now too? He’d said he loved her, they’d had relations twice. She believe she loved him, or at least was fairly certain that was the feeling. It’d been so long she wasn’t sure how to declare the emotion beating against her breast.

Cassandra reclined stiffly on her allotted, imaginary side until Varric settled. The dwarf pulled her against his chest and dispelled the tension without a word. It seemed, above all else, entirely right. She breathed in the mixture of him, ink and oil with a tinge of something like the scent stirred up in the air after a hard rain. Perhaps it was so for all dwarves, unable to shake the connection to the ground despite being above it. It was pleasant, and soothing, a familiar smell for a man who had become quite familiar himself. A few deep breaths and she sank into the state before slumber where all edges became soft. Any worries could wait for later. He kissed her forehead and they soon tumbled off into much needed sleep.

Blades had given him a day and he was damn well taking it. Luckily Cass hadn’t fought him on the sleep, too tired to think straight. She napped still, wrapped up in his blanket. It was starting to become familiar, the straight-laced Seeker all loose and unraveled within his reach. To think, a few weeks ago they’d been snapping at one another in the Rest. Life had been crazy since Hawke entered it, but this was completely unexpected. There was no use in questioning it. Varric was galloping at full tilt, willing to see how the story unfurled. Hopefully with a leggy, raven-haired Seeker at his side.

Suddenly Cass shifted and came back down from her dreams with a soft smile. Maker’s balls he wanted to kiss her until she couldn’t breath.

“Better?”

The woman’s exaggerated stretch, arms above her head and back arched like a cat’s, was answer enough. He envied the blanket wrapped around her waist, her legs. That’s where he desperately wanted to be ever since she’d let him between her thighs a few nights ago.  So far they’d been going at it fast and hot. That morning in the tent was enough to stoke his imagination for years to come, Cass bent over for his taking. Varric had to clear his throat at the conjured image, his cock waking up at the idea of trying that again. It was a lost cause though, he wasn’t going to push it after all the shit she’d been dealing with. But damn him to the void he wanted to worship her.

Cass turned to her side, one hand beneath her cheek. She studied him with a quiet certainty, lips pressed into a line as if she knew exactly how he was pieced together and could see all the fault lines.  And maybe she did know. There’d been enough confessing on his side in the last few days. It didn’t escape him for a second that she’d not professed her feelings with the same amount of fervor.

“Varric.” She practically purred.

“Yeah, Seeker?”

“Oh, are we all business?”

He laughed. It was hard to imagine that. Looking back, there hadn’t been a point where’d they acted at all like neutral parties. There’d always been an undercurrent, a spark of tension even if she’d been oblivious to it.

“Cassandra,” he amended. She scooted closer, her lips deliciously close.

“I like when you call me Cass.” She ran a hand down his shoulder, over his outreached arm. “No one calls me that.”

Everything became warm quick. Her fingers moved to his chest, tracing the line of his tunic, playing with the hair there. Legs were entwined, hips pressed achingly close. Her dark brown eyes lit up with wicked delight as she felt his arousal. He didn't move against her, rather let the Seeker do all the seducing.

“I thought I wasn’t supposed to expect anything?”

“Is it not better to defy expectations? I was of the impression you specialized in such dealings.”

“Oh, I’m corrupting you aren’t I?”

She licked her lips and rolled her hips once more, and Varric was done for.

They stripped themselves efficiently, less like passionate lovers and more so seasoned soldiers. It wasn’t for lack of want, rather a blessed lack of urgency. Breeches and tunics were tossed off the bed and the blankets pulled up, shrouding them. The makeshift tent provided a sense of intimacy that a bare mattress just couldn’t do. He rolled on top, hands near her head, hips cradled between her legs, cock throbbing at the prospect of being inside her again. He continued to let her set the pace, enjoying the coiling up in the pit of his stomach that came with prolonging the slide.

Cassandra’s strong, dexterous fingers were everywhere. In his hair, on his jaw, pulling his chin towards her sultry lips. She kissed him slowly, her other hand discovering the curvature of his back, smoothing the muscles there then nails lightly scouring warm skin. All in all, it was a damn fine place to be. Her tongue skirted the seam of his mouth and he had to reward the deed, pressing heavily against her hips as he sucked on a thick, pouty lip. She practically arched off the bed once he cupped a breast, brushing a pert nipple with a thumb. The low, quick gasp against his mouth filled his chest with the sort of masculine gratification that women always rolled their eyes at with one another, but secretly thrilled for. Cass wasn’t arguing the finer points of his thirst and renewed fervor, roughened hands sinking into her hips and urging her up and open.

Being a dwarf had its disadvantages when sleeping with humans, shortness the worst of it, but not where it really mattered. He was thick everywhere, Ancestors be fucking praised for something. Her lips parted on a stuttered breath as he pushed slowly, reverently into her heat, stretching the tight grip of her body. Her stomach clenched in response to the forced intake of air, and the reaction shook him unexpectedly. She'd hooked his heart and tugged it with each small detail, the soft skin at her collarbone, the of tilt of her chin, the pulse at the base of her throat. For a moment Varric forgot her overwhelming strength and sought to keep her safe. It was infernally hot under the covers, but in no way would he expose her bare to anything. Even himself.

There was a shift somewhere along the line and they were no longer fucking, but the alternative, a dangerous combination of sweetness and sin. Maker he hadn’t had this kind of intimacy for so long and there was no dam that could keep his feelings from flooding over. Varric grabbed a strong thigh and raised it up to his side, hand lingering, stroking down to an ankle. Due to his height he had to lean over, doubling her at the waist, in order to kiss her properly. The angle was almost punishing, sending him deeper and wrenching a hiss out of her.

“That okay?” The intensity in her eyes, the line of jaw, her furrowed brows said otherwise, but as he retreated she caught him in her grasp. Like a spider with its prey, she pulled him in, dangerously close, winding and weaving a net around him. “Let me adjust.” Her thickly accented voice was magnetic, especially at a whisper, and everything about her drew him deeper. Varric rested his forehead against the beautiful creature’s beneath him. Her soft, panted breaths accompanied the barest of nods and his gut clenched with another tug of his heart as she inadvertently tied him into knots.

He couldn’t stop himself.

“I really do love you, Cass.”

In a move that was probably cruel, he took the opportunity to pull out almost entirely. Her eyelids fluttered as he rested at the precipice and he thought of a thousand sonnets. Thrusting back in with an exaggerated slowness, he came up with a thousand more. This woman was all the inspiration he’d ever need. He continued to drive in and out of her with an unfair amount of finesse, an unspoken question lingering between them.

But do you love me? He said something else entirely.

“What do you need? Tell me.” Varric tried to lean back, let her unfurl, but she shook her head.

“Stay close.” She quirked her upper lip before adding, “You won’t break me.”

He wedged another leg against his chest, calf resting in the crook of his arm. She gripped his shoulders, tipping back her head after a few deep seated thrusts. Her exposed throat beckoned, and he sucked and soothed the sensitive skin there. A shiver ran through her as he murmured praise against her neck. The tight, wet grip of her was intoxicating. His blood pumped with incredible desire, an urgent need to see her come and spend himself there.  

Varric dropped her leg in order to cup a heavy breast, pink tip straining for his touch. Bowing as if in prayer, or more like making amends, he sucked and teased until she forced him back to her mouth. Begging to be kissed, he obeyed, then pulled out of her swiftly, seating himself just as quick. A groan ripped through them both at the sensation, breath mingling between open mouths. A stream of pleas fell off her usually sharp and demanding tongue, each more impassioned than the last.

Her skin was slick with sweat, her ankles locked at his back and fingers in his hair. He was going to come at this rate, sweat on his brow, a rising tide in his groin. Each cry and shake and moan filled him impossibly close to the brim, and he worried about spilling over before she could. Sliding a hand between them, he found her perfectly, indecently wet. He rubbed a thumb against the little bundle of nerves there and she arched against him, breasts pressed against his chest. If there was anything better than making a beautiful woman come, Varric hadn’t found it yet.

The tide rose and crashed over them both. She pulled on his wrist between them as the sensation became too much, wrapping their fingers together instead. Their joined hands were pushed above her head and he chased the last few ripples of pleasure before they disappeared. And so -- it was the best sex he'd ever had.

“Fuck,” he sighed, pulling out reluctantly. “That was incredible.”

She didn't appear to hear him. Cassandra drew the back of his broad hand to her lips and kissed there, a promise. She murmured his name against calloused knuckles and stared at a darkening corner of the room. “I do,” she said, unfocused eyes blinking at nothing. “That is yes. I-- do care for you.” It was forced, hard, and came across as if she was trying to make him feel better.

“That sounds pretty convincing.”

He scratched at his shoulder for the lack of a better distraction. She sure as shit didn't seem enthusiastic about the concept of caring for him. Then Cassandra pierced his thick, stubborn chest with sudden focus, brown eyes glistening and lip quavering in frustration. The slight movement could have been a figment of his imagination; he didn't think it was possible for her to cry. Was that awful to believe or a compliment? Before he could pull his head out of his ass, she sat up, scooting him off her lap.

“I may not be as silver tongued as you, but that does not make it any less real.”

He was an idiot. The only person she really loved had been killed in front of her when she was just a child. The only man she’d been intimate with died in a fucking explosion and directly thereafter she'd been saddled with a smart ass dwarf who apparently knew nothing. Of course she had problems saying it. Maferath’s balls he was a prick at times.

“I'm sorry.” He offered her a small smile. “Cass, I’m a terrible man. Ah, shit, don't cry.”

“I'm not,” she hissed, batting away his hand.

“Fine, don’t water the bed.”

She scoffed, but relaxed a little, shoulders softening. “It's not easy for me to tell you I love you, Varric. I have been alone for so long. Now with our responsibilities here coming to an end, it seems I must decide what is next.”

The unspoken words there were unpleasant at best. Did she move on without him? Was this just an ill-fated romance? Would she have been better off coming across a locked trunk all those months ago, his drafts and innermost thoughts hidden to her forever? He swallowed down a hard lump in his throat. He was better off for it, no matter the long-term effects. Cassandra fiddled with the sheet, pulling it taut between fingers, letting it fall loose. Varric stilled her hands before she frayed the damn thing.

“I wish to rebuild the Seekers.”

“I know that.”

“And you will return to Kirkwall.”

Varric simply nodded. He could see the writing on the wall. This was not the type of conversation he wished to have. Ever. He was the master of compartmentalizing -- of pushing the personal shit aside for as long as possible, hoping if he could downplay it in front of everyone else then maybe he’d believe it himself. The Seeker was the opposite -- a force of nature that had problems and dealt with them, sword first. Neither continued, sitting in silence for the moment, each contemplating what the future held in their mind.

“We have a bit of time,” she sighed. “Unfortunately Corypheus still lives.”

“Yeah, never thought I’d wish for his health.” She shook her head, but smiled anyway. “We’re not being irresponsible if we talk about this later, Cass. There’s still a world to save.”

Thankfully before she could press the issue, her stomach growled from neglect. Cassandra frowned as if to scare her hunger away, and Varric wanted to kiss her for it.

She groaned. “I have never said this before, but I would give anything to stay in bed.”

“And as much as I’d like to lie here and feed you, people need to see you’re still sane," he said. "Not a raving lunatic with red eyes frothing at the mouth.”

“Ugh.”

Cass rolled to her feet, gathering up her clothing and staring at them as if they were Dorian’s and had not a clue as how to start. He felt the same way, head in a fog. His thoughts were a mess, his heart was a mess. It seemed Cassandra knew just how to unsettle his relative state of calm. Varric felt like a love-sick kid again. And that was when mistakes got made.

They didn’t have time for mistakes.

Thanks for reading!