#the implication that he asked dan and phil if they were going steady then only after they corrected him

[ourchunkysalsa]

i believe they’ve become a couple ☝️🩷🏳️‍🌈 i’m not sure 🤔 if they’ve gotten married 👰🏻👰🏻 but uh ❌🏳️‍🌈 they may have gotten married 🤔💍or they may just be like 🤷😕 going steady 🤔🥰👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨but they’re a 😁😆 terrific pair of comic lads👯

[phanarchy-blog]

The Flame That Burns Me - Ch. 3

Genre/Rating: Angst, Drama, Rated T.

Words: 2.1k

Fic Teaser: Dan and Phil are not together. Really, they aren’t, despite what Dan wants. So then why is everything put at risk when Dan gets together with a fan? Everything is about to change for them, in a way they never expected.

Chapter Summary: Dan receives a phone call from Bethany that turns his world upside down.

Whole Fic Warnings (all may not apply to this chapter): Swearing, aggression, mentions of alcohol, mentions of sex, sensual scenes (no smut)

Begin with Chapter 1!

Two weeks had passed since Dan slept with the intriguing fan from Tesco. His life had returned to somewhat normal as he expertly pushed the dread to a small corner of his brain, locking it away and forgetting the combination as best he could. Phil stopped bringing up that night. Dan was pretty sure that Phil hadn’t forgotten. Every now and then he could see the flicker of wonder and anxiety cross behind his pale eyes. He was grateful that Phil was good at keeping his mouth shut, far better than he.

It was a quiet Tuesday afternoon, at least as quiet as it could be given the way the duo chose to spend their time.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Dan yelled. “Shit sandwich on a croissant!” He tilted his controller despite not using tilt controls. The tiny mii on screen drove the car off of Rainbow Road.

“Ha!” Phil taunted. “I finally got you!” Phil raised his arms in victory while Dan bit the side of the controller, a habit he picked up from Phil himself.

“Phil, we’re supposed to be teaming up and placing first and second,” he whined. Dan had returned his glare back to the screen. He shut out the world and stared at the track. 7th place, only 6 people to pass.

“How many times have I told you,” Phil giggled. “In Mario Kart it is every man for himself.”

Dan didn’t answer him. He had returned to the state of mind he affectionately referred to as his “element”.

A chime played and danced somewhere distant in Dan’s mind.

“Your phone,” Phil said, at first keeping his focus on the screen in front of him. The tone continued. “Mate, your phone is ringing.”

Dan continued to shut out Phil’s voice, and the phone along with it. Phil sighed in exasperation, looking between them to see Dan’s phone lit up with a name.

Bethany

“Dan,” Phil said. Hearing his name snapped Dan out of his trance. He looked towards his phone and caught sight of the call, raising his gaze to meet Phil’s eyes. Phil could see the panic setting in as Dan snatched the offending device and stumbled out of the living room.

“Hello?” Phil heard Dan say as he retreated.

All at once, Phil’s suspicions from the past weeks had been confirmed. Dan had been talking to Bethany. He could feel his heart drop from his throat to the very bottom of his chest, but he didn’t know why. Phil mindlessly rose from the sofa and followed Dan’s path to his bedroom, as if his body was no longer his and the real Phil was just along for the ride.

When he heard Dan’s voice, he stopped just outside the door.

“I really don’t think that’s a good idea, I’m sorry.” Dan said into the phone. His voice was pained.

“It’s not a date, trust me,” Bethany said on the line. Her tone came through, a cross between sarcasm and agony. Dark humor. “I just- really need to talk to you in person.” Her voice turned somber.

Dan huffed. Every bone in his body ached to run. He wanted to hang up the phone and retreat into nothing. He’d spent two weeks trying to forget what he’d done. The shame of running last time is all that kept him tethered to reality, to this phone call with her.

“I can’t,” he concluded. “I can’t hurt you anymore. It wouldn’t be right.”

“Oh my god, Dan,” she spit. “It’s not like that it’s,” Irritation scratching the edges of her speech.

Dan could hear a thick sigh crackle through the receiver.

“I’m late,” Bethany said.

Silence.

“I took a test and it was positive.”

Silence.

“I’m pregnant,” she repeated.

Dan’s world crashed around him. The quiet of the room eerie, like there should be dramatic background music where there was only a small shift in the floorboards.

“You’re serious?” Dan prodded.

“Yes I’m fucking serious,” she snapped.

“Sorry, I’m fucking stupid. Just,” he took a moment to compose the thoughts spiraling. “You’re really pregnant...”

Phil heard Dan’s words through the cracked door.

Confusion overcame him like a landslide. Why would she tell Dan she was pregnant? They only met a couple weeks ago. Surely they hadn’t become that close. To the best of his knowledge, Dan hadn’t spoken to Bethany since the day they met at the store, since the day they argued and Dan left to- oh.

Oh.

Phil pushed the door gently, swinging it open. He watched Dan’s hand shaking by his side.

Dan’s eyes flitted to meet Phil’s in the silence that hung heavy in the room.

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll, um,” he raised his other hand to the phone as well, concealing it quickly. “I’ll drop by.” He clicked the red circle on the screen and stared at it until the screen went black, reflecting his vacant face back to him.

“Dan?” Phil tested. He took a step inside the room. Dan took a step away, backed himself onto his bed and sat down, still staring at his own face, but he didn’t recognize it as himself.

“She’s pregnant,” he said out loud, to no one in particular.

“Yeah?” Phil asked. On some level, he knew the implications. He tentatively sat down beside Dan on the bed. He knew that his questioning was just a feeble attempt at clinging to hope that he was wrong.

“And it’s mine, Phil. Damn!” Dan stood up with more force than he’d shown in the last two weeks. It caused Phil to lose his balance in the readjustment of weight spread out across the mattress. He put a hand down to steady himself.

“Dan, when did you?”

“You already know the answer, don’t make me say it out loud.”

“Maybe I need you to say it out loud because I can’t freaking believe you!” Phil snapped. His stomach was twisting and he didn’t know why, but he knew it was Dan making him feel this way.

“Have it your way then,” Dan retorted. “I called Bethany that night, and I went over, and we had sex. Are you happy now?” Dan was pacing circles around the room, his nervous energy only building all the while.

Phil stood up to look at him face to face.

“Dan, why would you do that?!” he shouted, stopping Dan in his tracks.

“Why? Maybe because she was nice and pretty, and maybe because I hadn’t been touched for fucking years before this. And maybe, just a bit,” Dan gestured a wide gap between his thumb and forefinger, “because I was pissed at you!” He threw his arms in the air.

“Really though Dan?” Phil clasped his hands on his head. “And now she’s pregnant? What are we gonna do?”

“What do you mean ‘what are we gonna do’, what am I gonna do?”

“Oh, come on. We do everything together, we’re,” Phil raised his fingers in air quotes “‘Dan and Phil’ remember? Don’t pretend this doesn’t affect me too!”

Dan scoffed at Phil’s audacity. Here he was, in the worst crisis of his life, and it was the one time Phil couldn’t focus on Dan and what he was going through.

Dan clenched his fists.

“Yes Phil, this affects you too, so let’s make it all about you then! That makes sense!”

Phil stomped his foot hard on the floor, angry to have those words put in his mouth.

“That’s not what I said! I just mean we’d have to change so much. Forget the tour, ‘cause you’d have to be here. Forget all of the projects we have planned!”

“’Cause that’s what this is about, right. Business. Don’t forget, this would mean a person- a real human person- that I’d be responsible for. Don’t you think that’s a little more salient right now?” Dan turned his back. He felt like he was searching for something, but he wasn’t sure what.

“I’m not saying it’s not! I’m just trying to process this, okay?!” Phil’s voice went high pitched, his hands raised to either side like he was trying to stop the world from spinning for just a moment.

“Well can you not? Because I can’t process it with you near me right now,” Dan spit.

Phil didn’t move an inch. Dan saw his keys and snatched them.

“Dan, please don’t go,” Phil planted his feet where he stood in the doorway.

Dan walked toward him, but Phil was not budging. Without a pause, Dan plowed through Phil, hitting his left shoulder hard with his right and Phil stumbled backwards against the wall.

As he sunk to the floor, Phil heard the front door slam shut.

He raised his hand to the place where Dan’s shoulder collided with his, an ache already beginning to form deep within the bruised muscle. A chill passed through his body, from his toes all the way up into his chest, leaving him shaking.

Still, Phil stayed on the ground, the hardwood pressing up on his legs, and the drywall pressing into his back being the only support he could get. The sensation, although unpleasant, kept him focused on the cold. Yet his mind still wandered to Dan’s lips, and how they might look pressed against someone else’s.

The short walk had done its best in calming Dan down, to the point where he was no longer fuming. He knocked at the door he’d only seen once, and it still felt too formal for the situation.

Bethany answered in pajama bottoms and a bleach-spotted night shirt and waved him inside.

Unsure of himself, but trying his best to do what is right, Dan leaned in to hug her and she wrapped her arms around his body, pressing her face into his chest. She sniffled a bit as they parted, laughing through the tears and gestured for him to take a seat on the futon. It was folded up into a sofa today.

“I’m sorry,” she said as she wiped the eyeliner from beneath her lashes and smiled awkwardly again.

“You don’t have to apologize for crying,” he said.

“Not for that,” she replied. “Just, for everything else.”

Dan allowed that apology to sit in the air for a moment, choosing to stare into the middle distance while he thought it over.

“That either,” he decided. “I mean, it’s my fault too. I just assumed you were, on something, I don’t know. I wasn’t really thinking about-”

“I am,” she cut him off. “I was, I mean. I was also taking this herbal supplement to help with my depression. St. Joseph’s Wart or something.” Bethany reached for her tea on the side table and warmed her hands on the mug. “I didn’t know they interacted.”

Dan nodded slowly.

“So,” he began. “What happens now?” He let that suffice, not wanting to ask the toughest question of them all. Not directly, at least.

“I want you to know I’m not asking you for anything.” Bethany said. She took a deep breath. “But, I’ve decided I am going to have this baby. I know we don’t know each other well, but I think you could be a really good father, if you want to be.”

Dan thought about it. There was going to be a baby. He had no choice in that. The extent of his decision-making on that front ended when he had sex without protection. He had always believed that, and this changed nothing.

His child would be out in the world, and now his only decision left was whether he wanted to be there for it all.

“You can be involved or not,” she repeated.

“I want to,” he said suddenly. He didn’t take time to consider it. He didn’t need to. Dan knew that if he was going to have a child in the world, he would do what it took to be the best father for them.

They would deserve that much.

“You can think it over, you know.” She was uncertain of his easy commitment.

“I don’t need any more time,” Dan assured. “If you’re in this, then we’re in this together, okay?” He waited for her gaze to reach his eyes.

“Okay,” Bethany said with a gentle smile.

“Is there anything you need? Have you seen a doctor or anything?”

“I’ve got an appointment,” she said. “I mean, I’ll need a lot of things. But at the moment I’ve got it under control. We’ve got some time.”

Dan sighed and nodded again. They sat beside one another, legs brushing up against each other as they both looked out into the room. Dan laid his hand out on his knee, offering it to her.

Bethany grasped it slowly, cupping them together. It was awkward. Dan knew it. He barely knew Bethany, truth be told. But she needed him now. And he needed her.

She was all he had right now.

Thank you so much for reading! Please give feedback, positive, constructive, whatever! Read on to Ch. 4!

[botanistlester]

Sweet Pea (2/?)

Summary: A nickname that goes bitter in your mouth. Cries for help that no one listens to. Gentle hands that make you quake on the ground you’re standing on. When Phil first met Nico, he thought he was a gift from the heavens. But behind the mask lies something daunting, something unnerving, that Phil never foresaw. Through his journey, he finds solace in Dan, the regular at his workplace, who seems to be the only one who sees through Nico’s mask to the darkness underneath. Warnings: Abusive relationship, violence A/N: as always, thank you to @snowbunnylester and @littlelionsloves for editing tips and making me really excited about this fic! the song lyrics at the beginning are from a song called “I Don’t Mind” by Defeater! Masterlist

Read it on AO3 Read it on Wattpad

-

Chapter Two

And I don’t mind if we take our time, ‘Cause I’m all yours if you’re all mine.

-

Work was hard when Phil just wanted to be hanging out with Nico. A couple of days had passed since they had started dating, and Phil couldn’t be happier with his life right now. Nico treated him like an actual prince, and in turn, Phil fell for him more and more every single day. He could already tell that there was a very large chance that he would fall in actual love with the guy. Ah, love. Such a strange thought, especially when he thought about how perfect Nico was. He didn’t really understand how Nico wanted to be with Phil of all people, when he was an ethereal human being himself. Nico, with his American accent and his pretty green eyes and his freckles. It was hardly fair that someone was that beautiful.

And yet, Phil was able to call him his own. What sort of miracle was that? His phone vibrated in his pocket and he clenched his teeth together to stop himself from answering it. His manager, Cleo, was super strict about phones while they were working, claiming it made them look as if they were slacking. Occasionally Phil could sneak a quick text in, but he knew it was risky, especially when Cleo could poke her head around the corner and see him at any given moment.

“Phil, Dan’s here,” Chandler said, rounding the corner. She had a bunch of dirty dishes stacked on her tray, her other hand putting the tray jack on the rack. She gave Phil a smirk and fluttered her eyelashes. “I swear, that boy is totally head over heels for you. Why else would he come by himself every week just to have you as his server?” Phil scowled at her and resisted the urge to smack the dirty dishes from her grip. If they were anywhere other than work, he might have, but he didn’t want to get fired. Yet.

“Don’t look at me like that,” he reprimanded. “First of all, it’s not true. And even if it were, it’d never happen. I have a boyfriend now, remember?”

Chandler snorted. “Boring,” she muttered as she walked away, towards the dish room. He knew that she didn’t mean it, that she was just having a bit of fun with him, but he couldn’t stop himself from rolling his eyes anyway. She always teased him about Dan, stating that the man fancied Phil, hence the reason he even ate at LaBella’s in the first place. That was just ridiculous, in Phil’s opinion. There were plenty of regulars that showed up every week, ones that even requested Chandler every time. Why was it any different when it was Dan? He shook his head, deciding not to dwell on the topic. He had a job to do, one that he was currently slacking on. Oops. He cracked his fingers, took a sip of his drink to wet his dry mouth, and stepped away from the server station, making his way into the dining room lobby. LaBella’s was a small, family owned business that served copious amounts of “Italian” food. It was known for it’s nice and cozy atmosphere and good fettuccine alfredo, so the restaurant was always buzzing with energy, no matter what time of day it was.

That was why Phil didn’t have to question why Dan came to this place. It was a rather relaxing place to eat after class, the soft piano music and quiet chatter filling the air. Phil often saw him leaning over his textbooks, taking notes in a space themed notebook. When Phil had asked him before what he studied, Dan had looked embarrassed before admitting that he was a theatre student with a focus on directing. Phil had told him it was much cooler than his own English degree.

As Phil approached the familiar table, Dan was leant over the menu. He had his backpack sitting beside him on the booth and his notebook already on the table. A bright pink pen sat atop the notebook, which made Phil smile. No matter how small, it was always nice to see men not care about the implications behind the colour pink.

“Hey, Dan!” Phil exclaimed, and he watched with amusement as Dan’s head shot up to stare at him.

Dan was definitely one of the prettiest customers Phil had ever had. When he first started coming in, Phil could admit that he’d even had a teensy tiny crush on him at one point. Of course, that had all faded over time, which was good considering Phil had Nico now. He was still pretty, though, with his wide brown eyes and his curly brown hair. He had a couple of beauty marks on his cheeks and even dimples which made Phil have trouble telling him no. Dimples were just too damn endearing.

Dan smiled and those dimples appeared, caving deep into his cheeks. “Hey, Phil. Are you having a good day today?”

Phil nodded and played with his pen in his apron pocket. He didn’t need to write down Dan’s order usually, but he always greeted him just in case he decided to change it up. “It’s been pretty steady so I’m staying optimistic so far. How about you? How’s directing going?”

In response, Dan groaned. “It’s going. My aesthetics class is going to kill me.”

“What, are you not aesthetic enough for it?”

Dan glared at him and threw a balled up piece of straw wrapper at Phil. “You know damn well I’m aesthetic enough, excuse you.”

Phil laughed and it sounded too loud in the tiny dining room. It always did, but he never knew how to quiet himself down enough as to not disturb anyone around him. “You’re right. My bad.” And then onto business, “The usual?” Dan always had a three cheese stuffed shells, a salad, and a side of calamari with a strawberry margarita and a water.

Dan nodded. “Yes please.”

And that was that.

There was literally nothing for Chandler to freak out over. Dan and Phil were just customer and server, nothing more and nothing less. Purely business. There was no need for her to freak out every single time Dan looked his way.

“He’s staring at your ass,” Chandler sang when he was out of Dan’s earshot and filling a glass with ice.

He turned his glare onto his friend, hoping there was heat in his gaze. “You are my least favourite kind of person,” he told her without humour in his voice.

She sighed dramatically and leaned against the server station, pouting. Phil wanted to ask her if she had anything better to do, but he didn’t manage to get the words out.

“Come on, Phil. He’s so cute! He looks like a gentle rabbit just waiting for somebody to claim him.”

“That was a horrible metaphor.”

“But you know it’s true.”

Phil groaned and took the glass away from the drink fountain right before it spilled over the edge.

“Look, Chandler,” he deadpanned, frowning. “Dan is cute. I’ll admit that. But i’m not going to leave Nico for him, okay? Nothing’s going to happen. I’m happy with Nico and that isn’t going to change any time soon. Can you just knock it off?”

He unwrapped the bottom of the straw and stuck it into the drink, feeling irritation dwelling in his belly, bubbling up just like the water in his glass.

Chandler sighed and waved her hand, pouting. “Fine, fine. But only because I see how nice Nico is to you. You really hit the jackpot there, Phil. I’m jealous.” She watched with folded arms as Phil made his way over to the terminal, swiping his identification card and inserting Dan’s order on the correct table number. “Maybe I’m just trying to get you out of the way so I can take Nico for myself.”

Phil snorted and swatted his hand at her. “Get your filthy ass out of here. He’s mine.”

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” Chandler said in a spooky voice, wriggling her fingers as if she was performing magic. She looked past Phil’s head then, peering into the dining room, and tsked. “I just got sat. Have fun with your lover boy.”

Don’t get him wrong, Phil absolutely adored Chandler, but she could get to be a bit much at times. Just because Phil was bisexual didn’t mean that he wanted to screw every single person who hung around him.

And yet, even though he was bisexual, Chandler only teased him about other men. It was rather annoying that she didn’t validate the other part of his sexuality, but she never really listened whenever he told her that it bothered him. She only told him that it was easy to tease him about boys. Phil shook his head. These were thoughts for another day, definitely not thoughts he needed to have while he was at work.

He finished typing in Dan’s order and logged out of the terminal before walking back over towards where Dan was sitting. He was already working on his homework, jotting down notes in his notebook. His tongue was sticking out as he worked, and his left leg bounced under the table, making him seem rather jittery. It made Phil smile a little as he set the glass on the table. “Working hard already, I see?” Phil commented, wiping the condensation from the glass on his apron.

Dan glanced up and gave him a toothy grin. “You bet. I’ve got an exam tomorrow that I’ve been procrastinating on so I’m trying to cram.”

“Aesthetics?” Phil asked.

Dan hummed in agreement and tapped his pen on the page of his notebook. It left little pink dots on the paper, but Dan didn’t seem to notice even though it was quite hypnotizing to Phil. “Hopefully I remember enough stuff tomorrow that I’ll at least get a somewhat good grade.”

“I know you can do it,” Phil told him gently, giving him a supportive smile, which Dan returned thankfully.

They chatted for a bit longer about classes and it was easy. Easier than any of Phil’s other customers. Maybe it was just because Dan was a gentle person, or perhaps it was because Phil was used to his presence, but it was always relaxing whenever Dan set foot into the restaurant. He was never demanding, never in a rush. He was always patient and understanding. If there were mistakes, he just gave Phil a bright smile and told him it wasn’t an issue and that he didn’t mind. He always showed up alone, but he never seemed to care about that. That’s why Phil liked having Dan as a customer so much, why he didn’t mind whenever Dan showed up to his work.

Not to mention, he always left really good tips. Phil couldn’t exactly complain about that.

Dan has been coming to LaBella’s since Phil’s second week of working there, about a year ago. Dan had just started university and was going around town trying to figure out the best places to eat. When Phil had first served him, he had been with a girl named Louise, but Phil had only seen her one other time before Dan started coming by himself. Slowly, Dan had become a comforting presence, one that was familiar above all else. He just had this certain… aura about him, one that could calm Phil down no matter how stressed out he was. On top of that, Phil had never seen Dan upset except for once, but that was only because Dan’s dog had died that day. Phil hadn’t exactly been able to blame him for ordering the biggest dessert that day and staying quiet as he scarfed it down like he needed it to breathe.

Work went by a lot more smoothly once Dan arrived. While Phil would usually be upset about someone camping at his table, he couldn’t help but be pleasantly thankful that he had one less table to worry about.

He didn’t have to worry about getting less tips either, because Dan always made sure to tip more than enough. All he had to do was make sure his customers had enough to drink and enough to eat, and the rest of the time he would joke around with Chandler and his other coworkers until he could clock out. When Dan left, he left behind a small note written in pink ink. It sat atop the checkbook, folded three times, and Phil blinked in surprise. Dan had never left a note before. What could he possibly want to tell him that was so important?

He put it in his apron pocket and cleared off the table before reading it, not wanting to get in trouble for slacking off.

Only once he was finished cleaning did he allow himself to open the note. The writing was a messy scrawl and Phil had to squint his eyes to make sense of the words. It took him a few minutes of deciphering to figure out a general idea of what it said, and when he did, he couldn’t keep the grin from spreading across his face.

Phil, thanks again for the awesome service! I’ve been having a stressful week due to exams, but you always know how to cheer me up. You seem happier than usual, and I’m glad to see that. I’ll see you next week!

-Dan

It was a strange note, especially because Dan never was one for talking much, but Phil had no qualms about something like this. In fact, it made cheeks begin to hurt from smiling so hard. Although he sure as hell wouldn’t tell Chandler what Dan had written unless he never wanted to hear the end if it.

Having nice customers like Dan definitely made being a server worth it.

-

Phil drove to Nico’s apartment after work. He didn’t know what type of music he was in the mood for so he just played Lady Gaga on full blast, screaming out the window about how he was born this way to anyone who would listen. He didn’t mind that it was probably annoying. He just couldn’t seem to tamp his excitement down whenever he saw Nico.

The rest of their day was supposed to be rather lazy. Nico had promised to make Phil dinner, saying it was a surprise, and had mentioned something about reading and watching a movie. Even though it was just a relaxed day where nothing special was going on, Phil couldn’t stop himself from being pleasantly excited.

He pulled up to Nico’s apartment not soon after, putting the car into park, grabbing his backpack, and heading to the door. He didn’t knock before he went in, knowing Nico would tell him to just come in anyway.

“Nicky?” Phil called, taking his shoes off at the mat. A confirmation noise came from the kitchen and Phil smiled, making his way towards it. He was greeted by the sight of Nico in a dog apron, cooking something in a skillet that looked vaguely like fajitas. Phil made a scene out of inhaling the scents of the food. “Mm, smells so good!”

“It better be,” Nico commented, shooting a wink from over his shoulder. He set the spatula on the counter and turned around, grinning widely at Phil and opening his arms wide. “C’mere. Gimme a kiss.”

Phil obeyed like a well-trained puppy, sinking appreciatively into Nico’s arms. He was still in his uniform that had alfredo stains on it, but thankfully Nico didn’t comment on his outrageous appearance. He’d change in a moment. They kissed and Phil’s heart soared like it always did, still not used to the feeling.

When they pulled away, Nico went back to cooking and Phil left the room for a moment to change out of his uniform. When he got back, he took a seat at the table, pulling his book out of his backpack so he could start on a little bit of reading. He was planning on beginning Impulse today so he could understand a little bit more about what went on in Nico’s head. He had just opened the first page and started reading when Nico spoke.

“I tried calling you while you were at work today,” he said conversationally.

Phil raised an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? I saw that.”

Nico stuck his tongue out at him and flicked a sauteed onion at him. “You didn’t answer. I was offended.”

Snorting, Phil rolled his eyes and tossed the cooked onion back. It landed on Nico’s shoulder, who wiped it away in disgust. “My manager is super strict about the no mobile phones policy,” he explained. “If I’d answered, it could have caused me to lose my job.”

“Then at least send a text explaining you can’t talk,” Nico whined. “What if I’d needed something important? You’d never know!”

Phil laughed. “Fine, fine, I’ll risk a single text for you if it’ll get you off my back. If I’d answered today, I wouldn’t have made it to Dan’s table on time. That wouldn’t have been good.”

Nico pursed his lips. “Dan?”

“Yeah. He’s my regular.”

“Is he cuter than me?”

Phil let out a surprised laugh, gaping at him with wide eyes. Was Nico jealous? Or was he just kidding around? Phil shook his head, amused. “You nerd. Of course he’s not. You’re like, top tier.”

Nico smiled at the skillet he was cooking in, looking pleased. It was endearing. “Good.” There was a moment where the vegetables sizzled in the pan, and then, “I got you some flowers because they reminded me of you. They’re on the table.”

It wasn’t hard to find them because Phil was sitting at the table. They were placed in a skinny purple vase, a pretty bundle of purples and pinks and whites. Phil’s eyes widened and he touched their petals, feeling the softness underneath his fingertips. Another guy had never bought him flowers before simply because they’d reminded him of Phil. He felt as though his chest was filled with so much emotion that he could barely breathe. “They’re beautiful,” Phil whispered gingerly.

Nico chuckled. “Almost as pretty as you, yeah? They’re sweet peas,” he murmured in a fond voice, one so raw that Phil felt the words seeping under his skin and into his bones.

“Oh hush,” Phil giggled, his cheeks reddening.

Nico removed the skillet from the stove, and then he was walking over to Phil. He leant down and pressed a kiss to the top of his head, spreading warmth all throughout his body. “I’m serious. Maybe you can be my sweet pea.”

Phil laughed and tilted his head up, grinning at his boyfriend. Nico kissed the smile off his face until Phil was turning red all over again. “That’s so lame,” Phil breathed.

“Good thing we’re lame then, sweet pea,” Nico replied, pressing one more kiss to his lips before returning to the skillet. He hummed as he continued to cook, and Phil smiled at him even though he couldn’t see it. He couldn’t believe he had a man who took him on dates to the library, cooked him dinner, and gave him cute (and cheesy) nicknames. It was the most amazing thing in the world. He turned his attention back to the book in his hands, trying to hide his grin. Being creepy and staring at Nico as he cooked would do nothing but make him look strange. He needed to start reading the book anyway, knowing that favourite books said a lot about a person. The book was written in verse, which was a strange experience because it was not poetry. It was poetic and the author played around with words and sentence structure, which made Phil very pleased. It made the book read easier. Faster, even.

But as he made sense of the words, of the story, he couldn’t help but feel a sense of discomfort rising inside of him. Even from the first few pages, he knew that the story was going to be dark. It was about suicide and pain and recovery. It was about trying to live through the pain, trying to save yourself before it was too late. ‘Wish you could turn off the questions, turn off the voices, turn off all sound,’ Phil read to himself, glancing up at Nico once more. ‘Yearn to close out the ugliness, close out the filthiness, close out all light. Long to cast away yesterday, cast away memory, cast away all jeopardy. Pray you could somehow stop the uncertainty, somehow stop the loathing, somehow stop the pain. Act on your impulse, swallow the bottle, cut a little deeper, put the gun to your chest.’ Dark, full of meaning, possibly even triggering. Why did Nico love this book so much? Did he have to deal with a topic such as this? Did he perhaps go through a time in his life where he found death more appealing than life? Phil didn’t know, but he wanted to learn. He wanted to learn every little thing about Nico, all the way from his favourite foods to the reason behind his favourite books. Phil had made his decision and hopefully they would be in this for the long run now.

About ten minutes passed before Nico made a triumphant noise and presented Phil with a plate full of fajitas and broccoli. “I didn’t know what kind of side to make with fajitas but I figured broccoli was a safe choice,” Nico admitted, making Phil giggle.

“It’s wonderful,” Phil told him genuinely, kissing his boyfriend on the cheek.

“Just like you,” Nico sang. And then, with a wink added, “sweet pea.”

Laughing but also blushing, Phil began to dig in, even though his heart was trying to beat out of his chest. Happiness was welling in his throat and he wanted to scream with the raw emotion. He didn’t, of course, but he did laugh more loudly and became slightly twitchy because of it.

Dinner at Nico’s house with sweet peas on the table and a comfortable aura in the air was definitely something Phil could get used to.

Chapter Three