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pedal-writes · 5 months ago

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Homesick (2)

A/N: This one is a bit longer despite it honestly being filler but yk I gotta keep the grind up guys 🙏 oh yeah, don't mind the obligatory fanfic bestie, she isn't gonna have that big a role after this don't worry guys, big peepaw robot will only be on the mind soon lolz

Oh yeah and I added some dialogue from the book in here bc it's easier to translate that then movie dialogue so I'm gonna switch between the both of those, just an FYI!

It’s been about a week or so since you arrived in L.A.. Like Sam boasted about, he managed to get a car, a yellow camero to be exact. It was amusing how much he rubbed it in your face as if you didn’t get a car when you were literally his age. But you weren’t that bothered by his sudden load of cockiness and was just happy he managed to get some independence for himself.

Today, Felicity wanted to meet up with you and catch up over some dinner and maybe a shopping spree at the mall. She had been talking about it all week but couldn’t see you until now since she hasn’t found a good time to take off from work. You went through your suitcase and found a few cute clothing items that screamed casual but also girls night (more like day) out. As you picked up your purse and made sure all of your essentials were inside, you made your way out of your bedroom and down the stairs. A small chuckle left your lips when you heard your parents muffled voices bickering outside. They were working on the yard for the past few hours and your mom would constantly harp on what your dad did wrong. It was a little funny honestly.

Suddenly, you felt someone walk past you and a muffled sorry escaped their lips. You glanced over in confusion and saw Sam go into the garage. You snorted and decided to follow him, out of pure curiosity. As you walk into the garage and lean on the door frame, Sam scrambled to find his keys. “Hey Sam, what’s goin’ on?”

Sam glances over, his demeanor dropping a bit in annoyance. “I’m uh, going to this lake party. Miles is gonna come with me so y’know…”

“Wait, you got invited to an actual party?” You responded with a twinge of surprise in your voice. “No offense.”

“I mean not… officially. It’s a public place, anyone can go to the lake.” Sam said, making his way past you and towards one of the back doors. “And why are you so done up? You don’t usually wear clothes that nice.”

“Wh— Okay I’m going to ignore that you just said that. Anyways, Felicity is gonna pick me up in a few because she wanted to catch up since we haven’t seen each other in like forever.” You say as you adjust the purse hanging on your shoulder. As the name ‘Felicity’ leaves your mouth, Sam groans over dramatically and turns towards you. “You’re seriously still friends with that girl?”

“Duh! She’s my best friend Sam.”

“Yeah, more like she’s the best at being annoying. She would literally come here every single day after school and you two would talk about whatever girl problems you two had and by the way, I heard everything. The walls are very thin in this house.” Sam opened up the door and began to walk out. “I have no idea how mom and dad even tolerated it because I didn’t! You guys didn’t even listen to me when I complained.” He rants irritably, making his way towards the driveway.

“But she had a troubled home life! I was the only one there for her. And she hasn’t spent the night here since I was in high-school. That was, what, five years ago?” You explained as you followed close behind him. Both of you managed to step onto your father’s, Ron’s, lawn. “You two, I do not like footprints on my grass. Please step onto the very nice path I ever so carefully laid down.”

“Oh, sorry dad.” You mumbled and retraced your steps. You could practically hear Sam’s eye role as he begrudgingly did the same. “Mom, seriously, could you stop putting jewelry on Mojo? He’s got enough self-esteem issues as a Chihuahua without you pimping him every day.”

Judy frowned at her son. “You know I don’t like for you to use that term,” She scolded.

“Maybe you should put him back in the dryer, hon.” Ron said playfully.

You glanced towards your mother with a confused expression. “Wait, that’s how Mojo broke his leg? Mom, you told me he jumped off the counter and fell weird.”

“I– I was ashamed, it’s embarrassing. And It was an accident, Ron! I didn’t know he fell asleep in the laundry basket. You know how hard he is to see sometimes.” Judy reached down and picked up the small dog, cuddling him close to her chest despite Mojo’s frantic means to escape her grasp. “How’s your little leggy-weggy, huh, tough guy?” She cooed.

Hearing a small buzz come from your phone, you grab it from your pocket and see a message from Felicity.

‘I’m here nerd :P GET UR ASS OUT HERE!!’

“Oh uh, Felicity’s here. I’ll see you guys later. And have fun at your lake party, SAM.” You walk back into the house and hear a cut off ‘shut up’ as you close the door behind you. From the windows at the front of the house, you see that familiar white convertible parked in front of the house and excitedly open the front door, locking it behind you.

“Hey you! Long time no see.” Felicity said, resting her sunglasses on top of her head. You walk towards the car and open the door to sit inside. “Yeah, it’s certainly been awhile.” You lean over and give Felicity a hug, cringing slightly at the amount of perfume she’s wearing.

“So how are you? How’s your job?” Pulling away, she starts the car and drives down the neighborhood’s street. “I’m doing alright. I uh… quit my job. Some stuff happened with another coworker and I just couldn’t work there anymore.” You hesitantly answered, fidgeting with the strap of your purse.

“Oh snap. Was it like a creepy coworker thing or…”

“No no, nothing like that. Well I guess… kinda. It’s complicated. I had no idea what this guy’s problem with me was but he wouldn’t leave me alone! Always harassed me before, during, and after work. I tried to report him to H.R. but since he was positions above me, they just gave him a slap on the wrist.” You paused for a few moments and felt your cheeks begin to burn with embarrassment. “So one morning, I was so pent up I… hit him. Like punched him, really hard. I’m pretty sure I broke his nose and screwed up my hand really badly. It was a stupid thing, really…”

Felicity stayed quiet for a few seconds before a smile creeped onto her face. “That is so badass.”

You looked at her dumbfounded. “It was not badass!”

“It so was! You were like ‘you want a piece of me?! Bam!’ and then the creep went down. I bet he never bothered you again after that, huh?” She quipped, that same dumb smile resting on her face.

“No, he didn’t. But it cost me my job! It’s just really unprofessional.”

“But didn’t you quit it?”

You sighed. “I quit out of embarrassment, before they would inevitably fire me.”

“Oh. Well, since you’re so smart, I’m confident you’ll find another one. Maybe one without a weirdo guy.”

“Yeah, I hope so.” You rested your elbow against the hard material on the door and laid your head against your cheek, staring at the passing buildings and people with a mopey expression. You really were disappointed you lost a job that both perfectly matched your interests and paid highly. Maybe after being in L.A. for a few weeks will raise your spirits enough to start job hunting again, and get out of this weird depressive funk that’s been preventing you from doing so.

Felicity noticed your change in attitude and cleared her throat, changing the subject. “So I’ve been following this one news blog and apparently there are some high tensions between the U.S. and some other countries for some reason. I really hope a war doesn’t start because that would be, like, really bad.” She says, glancing between you and the road ahead of her.

“Oh yeah,” You sit up again and look at her. “I’ve seen stuff like that on the news. If a war does start, they would start drafting people right?”

Slowly the restaurant came into view and Felicity pulled the car into the parking lot. “Pretty sure, but only boys though. Woohoo for us I guess… Speaking of boys, how’s Sam doing?”

“He’s doing fine. He got a car recently, It’s kind of a piece of junk though. And he also still hates you.”

Felicity laughed as she pulled into an empty parking space. “Yeah I figured. Should I apologize to him? Since I kind of invaded your personal life for a good while.” She turned off the car and stepped out, grabbing her purse. You think about it and eventually nod, also exiting the vehicle. ”He’s annoying for sure but I’m gonna say yes. I care about the both of you and I don’t want any bad tension between you two, as funny as it is.”

“I’ll remember that. Oh, and when we get in here, only one alcoholic beverage. Cause I am not dragging your drunk ass out of here like last time.” She playfully bumped her shoulder into yours and opened the front door for you.

“What that– It was my 21st birthday! That’s not fair. I even said I wouldn’t do something like that again.” You argued.

“Riiight, okay. Just get in here.” You rolled your eyes and mumbled a ‘whatever’, to which Felicity chuckled.

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

It was already night time when you and Felicity were done shopping at the mall. She was a bit of a bad influence considering how overboard you went with the shopping, with her excuse being ‘you’ll probably rarely get chances to visit Cali again so make it worth your while!’ But despite the amount of money you spent, you deemed it worth it considering you found the cutest pair of Uggs. As the two of you walked down the sidewalk, You let out a small sigh as you realized how far away Felicity had actually parked. It was a Saturday night so of course the mall was packed, so it made sense for her to park a block or two away.

What you both didn’t know was that there was a looming police car in the distance behind you, slowly creeping.

“Remember that one time in sophomore year when you liked that one jock-y kind of guy and during valentines day, you went up to give him a valentine and literally fell on your face?” You laughed, adjusting the bags in your hands so they wouldn’t be as uncomfortable in your hands.

“Oh my god, that was so embarrassing! It gives me second-hand embarrassment just thinking about it.” Felicity shivered.

“Hey, at least he asked if you were ok, even if he rejected you afterwards…”

“Ugh, can we talk about something else? Please?”

Soon, Felicity’s car came into view and you both crossed the street with urgency. As you put your bags in the backseat and got into the car, your brows furrowed at the police car parked beside the sidewalk you and Felicity were just walking. “Uh, Was that Cop car always there?” You pointed out to your friend.

“Mm, yeah no. I’m pretty sure he just drove up. He’s probably keeping a look out for thieves or junkies or something.” She replied, starting the car and beginning to pull out of the parking space. “Unless, you’re the thief.”

You playfully scoffed. “I wouldn’t steal anything!”

“I’m just joshing with you.” Felicity patted your back and drove down the dark street. A few minutes would pass before you would see that same cop car following behind you two from that same far distance as before. You brushed it off, he was probably just driving to get something to eat or go back to the station. But as Felicity turned the car a few more times and the car still didn’t change its direction, you started to get a little anxious.

“Felicity, that cop car is legitimately following us now.” You mumble, staring into the rear view mirrors with a small pit in your stomach.

“What? Should I pull over?” She replied in a worried manner.

“I don’t think so… He would turn his lights on or–or yell at us to pull over by now.”

Felicity decided to take a different way to your house and went down a darkened street with almost no streets nor people, to try and maybe lose him. The two of you still kept your eyes on the rear view lights before the car suddenly stopped. It sat there for a few seconds before making a U-turn and going back the way it entered, almost like it was being called by something. You both sighed in relief, “Thank god…” You muttered.

“That was really weird… Do you think he was gonna kidnap us or something?” Felicity looked at you with wide eyes.

The thought irked you a bit and you shook your head. “I don’t want to think about it, I just want to go home.”

Felicity nodded understandably and went back onto the regular route to your house. The ride wasn’t that long and as the car drove down your neighborhood’s street, the familiar shape of your family's home came into view. “Thank you for coming to hang out with me, I really missed you. And I’m sorry it ended weird with the whole cop thing…” Felicity said with a small frown on her face.

You huffed, leaning in and giving her a hug. “It’s okay. At least he left us alone and I got to spend some time with you.” You pulled away and smiled, to which she returned. You reached in the back and grabbed your bags, stepping out and closing the car door with your hip.

“I’ll call you tomorrow, please get home safe Fel.”

“Will do, tell your parents I said hi!” With that, Felicity started her car again and drove down the street. You watched her drive away for a few seconds before going into your house. When you opened your door, it was dark and you were pretty sure your parents were asleep. You walked up the stairs and you heard Sam’s muffled talking coming from his room. Something about how leaving someone behind at the lake wasn’t that big a deal and to ‘get over it.’

You snorted and headed towards your room, setting your bags down and closing the door. It was a bit late but you could probably still squeeze a shower in, considering you felt a bit sweaty from walking outside all that time. You took off your shoes and grabbed your towel off of the door, walking back into the hallway and into the bathroom. You didn’t want the shower to be too long considering how late it is so you moved with a sense of urgency, getting out after about 20 minutes.

After getting into some jammies and aggressively drying your hair with your towel, you flop into bed and sort of reminisce about the past day. While you were really happy you got to see your best friend again, you felt a bit irked out by that cop car following you and Felicity. There really was no rational explanation to justify why that car was following you so it was probably either a creepy guy who stole a police car, or worse, a creepy cop. The thought creeped you out and you sat up, yawning and rubbing your eyes tiredly. Your eyes dart over to under your door and you see a little bit of light that was coming from Sam’s room. That gave you an idea. You grabbed a blanket and a pillow and made your way out of your room. You stopped at Sam’s door and knocked. The sound of approaching footsteps were heard and the door opened, Sam standing there with a neutral expression. “What’s up?”

“Can I sleep in your room tonight?” You hesitantly asked, honestly feeling a little childish.

Sam rolled his eyes. “You’re a grown woman, with your own room, and I need my privacy. So if you don't mind—” As he closed the door, you gently stopped it with your hand and gave him a saddened look. “Please Sam, I don’t think I want to be alone right now.”

His eyes widened slightly and he sighed, opening the door fully and letting you enter. You found an empty spot on the carpeted floor and threw your pillow down, sitting down beside it. “So… Did something bad happen today?” Sam asked, walking over and sitting on his bed.

“No—well, yeah I guess. Felicity and I were on our way over here and this cop car was just slowly driving after us. I didn’t think much of it at first until Felicity turned a few times and that car was still behind us. We were panicking and I thought ‘oh my god i’m going to die’ before the creep stopped and turned around. It wasn’t fun, like at all.” As you talked, you laid your head down against your pillow and pulled your blanket over you, looking over at your brother.

“Oh damn, I’m sorry. That sounds freaky.” Sam said with a frown.

“Yeah it certainly was. I’m just glad we managed to get out of there without getting hurt or worse… Anyways, I’m gonna change the subject now. How was the lake party?”

Sam grinned at the question. “You won’t believe it when I tell you, cause it’s that unbelievable.”

“Spill.”

“Mikaela Banes actually got into my car and I drove her home, in my car!”

You sat up with a bewildered expression. “Bullshit!”

“I’m serious!”

The two of you talked and laughed for a little while after that and soon drifted off to sleep, you forgetting about the mildly upsetting events that transpired today. A few hours had passed of peaceful slumber until you heard a car revving and Sam running out his door in a hurry. You were still a bit dazed and your tired mind registered it as nothing, so you quickly fell back to sleep.

#sigh I’m struggling a little on ch3 #but it’s getting there guys #transformers #tf bayverse #bayverse #bayformers #optimus prime #optimus prime x reader #bayverse optimus prime x reader #maccadam

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whumpshaped · 1 year ago

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a concept just rammed into my head and i will now share it with my fellow Ambac Rotators on this blog: beck and helle species(?) switch

beck as a (relatively) new vampire

helle as a vampire hunter

no idea where this is gonna go. i just had the sudden image of human!helle pinning down a vampire 🛐

good day anon. i finally have the tentative spoons to engage w the fantasy (that ive been meaning to write for FOREVER and ur ask served as a good reminder of my goals and aspirations thank u)

masterlist

vampire hunter beck

tw vampire whumpee, dehumanisation, pet whump

Beck had been overly cautious every time he went hunting. He had to be, as a stupid little runt without anyone to protect him.

He had crawled out of his grave and into the clutches of a woman he barely recognised, only to immediately be discarded once she realised he couldn't use magic. He had begged her to leave him alive at least, promising to stay out of her way and go 'hunt' on someone else's territory; not his proudest moment, but then again, he had little to be proud of lately.

He hunted as best as he could, picking off lone passerby and muffling their cries as he drank his fill, too frantic and hungry to really care about causing pain. Then he disappeared for days, sometimes weeks, terrified of drawing attention to himself. And the cycle would repeat.

Until one day, he slipped up and chose the wrong target.

Beck had never seen a hunter before, especially not so up close and personal — and now that they were straddling his waist and putting a stake to his heart, he decided he didn't fucking like them. He had his hands up on either side of his head without having to be told, completely still in an attempt to appease the hunter who had caught him.

"You're the runt," they stated, not even a hint of doubt in their voice, but Beck nodded anyway.

"Yes, sir," he breathed, very aware of the sharp point digging into his chest whenever he dared inhale.

The title wasn't a conscious choice, really. He'd had to talk his way out of quite a few confrontations before, and if there was one thing he'd learned throughout all of it, it was that manners never hurt.

The hunter looked amused, leaning down a little and inadvertently placing more of their weight on the stake. Beck tensed under them, squeezing his eyes shut in anticipation of his inevitable demise. "Sir? Have I gotten myself a polite little leech?"

"I can be very polite so long as I'm alive, sir," he said hastily, and they chuckled.

"Alive... as if. Don't flatter yourself. I've seen corpses that looked better than you."

Beck pressed himself even more against the ground. "You're right, sir," he squeaked. "You're right. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Hey, listen." They clicked their tongue at him, like one would to get a pet's attention, and he reluctantly opened his eyes again. "I've got a deal for you."

"A... a deal?"

Was this common? He had nothing to compare this to. Were all hunters like this?

"Only because you're so well-behaved." They pressed down on the stake a little, as a gentle reminder for Beck to keep behaving, and he was suddenly very eager to nod along. "You see, runts are pretty rare. And regular vampires... they can't really be kept. It's a one and done deal, I come in, I stake them, I get my money."

That was simple enough. Terrifying, but simple. But also– "K-kept?"

"Kept," they repeated, grin widening. "Like a dog."

Beck swallowed. He had a feeling of where this was going, and he did not like the implications. "I... I see."

"And while I'm pretty successful, as far as hunters go... This is a dangerous job. I could use a buffer."

"No," he said timidly. "Please, I can't do anything, I can't– I can barely hunt, I'm starving half the time–"

"I could do with bait, too," they interrupted, shushing Beck when they saw him open his mouth to protest. "And of course, because I deal fairly, I'd let you have some blood in exchange. Can't have a pet without feeding it."

That... That made the offer sound much better, all of a sudden. He hadn't had anything to drink in at least a week, getting by on whatever dead animal he could find in the parks at night. Drinking from roadkill. His mouth was watering at the mere thought of human blood, even though the hunter hadn't yet specified what they'd be feeding him.

"Mmm, what is it? Interested?" they taunted, and Beck couldn't resist nodding a little. He wanted someone to protect him so badly; apparently even if they were a hunter.

"What... what do I need to do, sir?" he asked as respectfully as he possibly could, already wincing when the hunter pulled out a collar from their coat pocket and threw it into his hand.

"First things first, put that on. We'll discuss the rest on the way home."

taglist: @whumpsday @the-scrapegoat @hidden-dreamland @delicateprincepaper @whumppmuhw @florissimps @nicolepascaline @oliversrarebooks @thecyrulik @pirefyrelight @there-will-always-be-blood @pigeonwhumps @echo-goes-mmm @whumpycries @morning-star-whump @d-cs @watermelons-dont-grow-on-trees @tauntedoctopuses @blueyellow8green @typewrittenfangs @whumpsoda @steh-lar-uh-nuhs @auroragehenna @whumpedydump

#whump #whump writing #at my beck and call #helle #beckett #vampire whumpee #dehumanisation #pet whump

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thegeminisage · 8 months ago

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ok, i'm getting behind on ym star trek updates. last sunday we watched ds9's "sanctuary" and tng's "parallels," monday we watched ds9's "rivals" and tng's "the pegasus" (out of order!!! 💔) and last night we watched ds9's "the alternate" and tng's "homeward." we were supposed to do "rivals" and "the alternate" monday, and then the "pegasus" and "homeward" last night and i really wish we had bc i was not in the correct headspace to really enjoy the alternate but that's what i get for forgetting to check my spreadsheet!! ANYWAY.

sanctuary (ds9):

i love sisko in this episode. he has the same vibe w his subordinates as he does with jake, that he will back them up even if they're breaking rules but also when kira didn't do her homework he does have to lay down the law a little bit. lovingly, but he does. and since he never does it w/o a reason and w/o compassion nobody really minds

i'm sorry but the reverse sexism was really funny. thank you 90s tv for being brave. especially with her having multiple husbands. get it girl

kira and haneek should have explored each others bodies also

quark picking up the nephew like yeah hes gonna do it again. poor odo

literally it was such a good little conundrum bc all the logical reasons they gave for bajor not being able to support more people were like correct or whatever BUT THEY WERE FARMERS. you get the idea they really could have helped and that kid didn't have to die but inherent, knee-jerk suspicion of new/foreign people just got in the way in both cases. like you had the solution right there!! unfortunately, as we know, people

why is it ALWAYS kira's episodes that go this hard also. it's always like "here's a thing about the complex and ugly truth of the human(oid) nature and how we just have to live with ourselves" and every time it pops off

parallels (tng):

we were just saying "there's no ways tng would have the pussy to do something like this" when tng came on and also was really good

first of all, my worf e deanna DREAMS are coming true. sorry to the actors ik they hated it but i know in my heart worf e riker e deanna is real..............

i read the episode summary for this one but it said AMNESIA not WORF SWITCHING REALITIES. so i had fun going wait the cake WAS chocolate earlier and being gaslit along with worf

his little surprise party hat. please.

i didnt notice data's eyes being blue at the time but going back and looking at the pics is WILD

my baby boy wesley crusher was there also........i missed him sm

the universe worf left was crazy. picard dead, geordi dead, deanna forever without her husband...jesus christ

but my FAVORITE part (aside from the romance) was the bit there the zillion enterprises showed up and the crazy borg-hunted riker was like NO NO WE'LL NEVER GO BACK girl i was like oh but i wanna see inside those other enterprises! actually no i didn't

worf finding out deanna began having the potential to develop feelings for him after the ritual suicide thing and then IMMEDIATELY turning around to seduce her when he got back to his universe...so true. i would have done the same thing. i know he's gonna get w dax later and deanna will eventually marry riker so he's GONNA fumble it but don't fumble it!!!

rivals (ds9):

have only seen princess bridge 1 time when i was a teenager so i was not able to enjoy the biggest appeal of this episode rip

actually i thought the a plot of this episode kind of sucked ass. i didn't find the conman particularly funny or charming but i also didn't hate him enough to get invested in his downfall. also, it was so stupid that he took that machine when the guy explained that it had literally killed him............like, girl, are you stupid? obviously ds9 can save it with endearing characters and like, Acting, but i wasn't having much fun with it

i DID love the obrien bashir racketball matches though. first of all the fact that luck decided who won and not actual skill and no we'll never know...but secondly, bashir like Oh No I'm Going To Kill Him With Tennis. like, my guy, you could have just showed off less out of the gate. it went against his twink instincts though

keiko's go-get-em-tiger was really good. he would have won anyway i just know it

quark trying to DRUG A DOCTOR. his audacity truly knows no bounds. i hope those orphans got their blankets

i do like also that when they figured out the matches had been rigged they weren't even mad about it, they were both just curious and trying to experiment. i love when obrien and bashir hang out it's really great

the pegasus (tng):

TNG HAD PUSSY TWO EPISODES IN A ROW EVEN

picard day really good. yes. be miserable. i love riker getting to dunk on him

i really really REALLY enjoyed riker's energy when his old captain came aboard. jonathan frakes isn't the most technically accomplished actor on that cast, but he does such a fantastic job with that shift - riker is normally such an easygoing, funny, down to clown guy that whenever he gets :| you notice RIGHT away. episodes where he gets to be serious and angry wouldn't work if he got them all the time (though my lament for tng is that we don't get character stuff more often...), but BECAUSE they're rare, even a little too rare, you take notice all the more

i wish we had gotten to see riker sparring with worf <3

argument between riker and picard was FUNNNN i don't like picard but i DO like it when sir patrick stewart acts and i think him being on his game and jonathan frakes also being on his game was wonderful. first of all, i love it when they say the m-word, and secondly, riker grinding his teeth because he WANTS to tell and all his instincts are screaming at him to tell and he CAN'T because his loyalties are divided or whatever...delicious.

beaming aboard the ship frozen in rock with the perfectly preserved bodies. mwah. dead bodies won't even age. i know it was a budget thing and space probably wouldn't really keep them from decomposing THAT well but it quite literally took riker back to the scene of the crime and he was like yeah no i'm not having it. GOOD for him.

bonus when riker gets locked into the brig <3

the alternate (ds9):

ODO...................................

i recognized the scientist by his hair!!! he mentioned before he copied it from him

dr mora die challenge. it's not exactly that he "abused" odo in the traditional sense but he did put him in a cage, and he dehumanized him with his experiments, and every single word out of his mouth was either dehumanizing or patronizing. i love how quick they both were to correct the assumption about this guy being odo's dad - like yeah maybe an adoptive dad in a way but odo wasn't a "child" he was just so different from humanoids he had to figure out communication from scratch

like, this mf commenting on odo not having gotten the ears, or like wow you can tell what emotions people are displaying just by looking! say that again to my face i'll kill you.

dax was so weird in this episode. i kept wondering if she was possessed or something because she showed up out of nowhere and offered to buy drinks with bashir and said something about the pillar being moved. a red herring which was perhaps unintentional but unsettling nonetheless. her personality is still fluctuating a lot - at times she's prissy and at other times she's just one of the guys! but at least now she has one, from time to time. not in this episode though

i felt. SO BAD for that little life form they kidnapped. you suffocated it to death :(

i also felt terrible for odo. firstly, he deserves to kill that guy. secondly, how humiliating for him to be seen in goop form by half the station...he doesn't like being seen like that :(

i still blame dr mora though for basically triggering that last transformation...i was so mad at the end when odo was like yeah we can reconcile :) like i get loving the people who "raised" you even when they "abused" you but this wasn't quite that. i wish we had got more of a sense of them having, at any point, actually ever liked working together to solve the mysteries of shape shifters. i looked him up on imdb though and he DOES come back so maybe better luck next time

homeward (tng):

i fucking hated this episode.

firstly, who brought worf to his parents? i thought it was their adult son who was in starfleet, but was it worf's dad who brought him home? cuz this guy is worf's age and was not officially in starfleet...

secondly, there should be a clause in the prime directive about "if everybody is about to die save them with the least interference possible." i get that that runs the risk of like, being written down in their bible as jesus and altering their culture, but the idea that the culture is better off totally annihilated than altered is a little bit missing the forest for the trees. like, putting those machines on the planet in the first place would have been WAY less inference than having worf and his brother lead them to safety.

ALSO, I CANNOT BELIEVE WORF'S BROTHER KNOCKED THAT WOMAN UP. like, this kid is not gonna pop out of the womb with his surgical alterations!!

also, that guy who killed himself didn't get his special document delivered back to his people...worf KEPT IT as a souvenir? one of the only surviving documents from their old culture??

furthermore, his brother did not "won up to responsibility" by staying with those people. he's further contaminating their culture with his outside influence including the HALF HUMAN BABY and since he's marooned there he will never see his parents or brother ever again. because he got the awooga eyes. like, yes, he saved them when starfleet (picard in particular) were being horrible, but also, he didn't save their culture even a little bit, and he's lying to himself if he thinks he did. and WE COULD HAVE SAVED THEIR CULTURE WITH THE MACHINES. that was so much lower risk...................

redeeming factor of this episode was that worf is HANDSOME under all that klingon makeup. like i knew he was attractive because i've seen like headshots online but i like never saw him moving his face and acting without it. he's actually really expressive..........why do you hire a man this beautiful and then put him under all of that. like he's absolutely stunning i was so shocked

TONIGHT: ds9's "armageddon game" and tng's "sub rosa," which i have seen celebrated online for some reason? something about sexy ghosts??

#personal #star trek blogging #ds9 lb #tng lb

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moondragon618 · 1 year ago

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@stemms Hi I thought you might like this :)

I had a dream abt that two c!Tommys idea you had lol. It was a little different in my dream though- I remember I was a post-prison break Tommy and there was another slightly younger Tommy. I think he was either disc war era or maybe like mid-exile based on how he was around c!Dream? I'm inclined to go with disc war though bc he didn't really seem scared at all. Also c!Dream was definitely kidnapping us btw lmao but the other Tommy didn't seem to realize that's what was happening. Then at one point c!Dream started talking to the other Tommy in that soft, sickeningly sweet tone he uses and I just went off on him, I think I said something like "Fuck you, I'm not gonna let you fucking exile us again, Dream!!!", and then I started fighting him and yelling at the other Tommy to fucking run. And then I woke up after that L.

Anyway now I'm thinking about Tommy from the end of the server meeting himself from the beginning of the server, seeing this version of himself that hasn't gone through literal hell and back several times over yet, and deciding that he needs to protect him from Dream at all costs. There is one problem though- Dream is the one who figured out how to drag himself and Tommy back to the past in the first place and he is determined to have both Tommys all to himself. Because imagine just how fun it would be to use his Tommy's own past self against him :)

I imagine Dream would not let his Tommy out of his sight, so there wouldn't be a whole lot he could do to protect his past self. Dream would easily be able to gain past Tommy's trust since Tommy already looked up to him at that point and considered him a friend. As for present Tommy? Well, past Tommy is already clearly unsettled by seeing his future self looking like that- covered in scars, looking like he hasn't slept in forever, constantly angry and snapping at Dream, going on about how terrible Dream is with a desperation that borders on hysteria and generally seeming less than stable- so it's not hard for Dream to feed him a twisted and exaggerated version of every mistake his Tommy ever made and convince past Tommy that he's just trying to protect him from becoming that :) When past Tommy asks why he still keeps him around? Well, Dream wants to help him too, it's just going to be a lot harder and will take some time :)

So now you have Tommy helplessly watching in horror as his past self falls into Dream's trap, desperate to protect past Tommy from ending up like him, while Dream uses that exact same reasoning to manipulate him. When he acts up too much, Dream takes him aside and reminds him that he hasn't even hurt past Tommy yet, and makes it clear that it won't stay that way if he doesn't behave :) Meanwhile, past Tommy isn't completely oblivious- he gets the sense that there's something very off about his future self and Dream, but he's kind of scared to say anything. And Dream hasn't even done anything bad yet, he's just been really fucking clingy.

That is, until he eventually stumbles upon Dream standing over his future self with an axe, the slightly older Tommy cowering in fear and pleading for mercy :)

Dream is okay with this though- now he can switch things up, try and convince past Tommy that this is necessary to help his future self, and see how far that can go :) He would already have them pretty isolated at this point (aka he takes them to what would have been Logstedshire) and he knows neither of them would leave the other behind, so the possibilities are endless :) :) :)

#c!prime thoughts #dsmp #tw abuse #tw kidnapping #tw obsessive behavior #tw possessive behavior

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airin-lavellan · 2 years ago

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my brain agonizes me every day about latching onto rezaren and here's the thing. here's the thing I dislike most about how he was written: he was an inconsistent and rushed character. the inconsistency was the worst part and I could go on forever.

he starts as the morally questionable guy right? the show leads you to believe he's grey in morality- willing to fight a spirit for what he believes is right, manipulative but still caring. the first major hint of the backstory/flashbacks we see is rezaren crying. crying asking what miriam has done in the bloody scene. and that hits like a "holy shit there's more to it

then they open up with the brother/sister thing when they finally meet. still incredibly interesting- a villain who platonically loves the mc? who cares about them but in the wrong way and does the wrong things because of it but overarchingly loves them? amazing.

then in episode four, they build it up. the flashbacks point to rezaren having an idealistic idea of their past and miriam being rightfully very angry. we see it from his eyes, them laughing and playing together. then we see what rezaren ignored. he deflects this by saying he was a child and couldn't protect them- a fair point if we infer his mother was abusive towards, which we can infer from the harrowing "no ammosine has failed" part. he could apologize. he does not. miriam brings up the harrowing as her trump card- extremely strange to me in terms of narration because it portrays rezaren in a...not bad light? his mom is the aggressor, he's just shown as younger and weak and helpless. it doesn't match the buildup

there is a very clear snapping point where redemption is no longer an option for him: when he loses his temper at miriam. the switch is jarring, very jarring, at first, but it's okay. it would have been preferred if he was redeemed but it's not necessary, he could still be an amazing pure evil character.

...and then he's not. he goes far too quickly into too much evil- they set him up for a descent to madness and then go from one scene of "i won't use blood magic tassia don't worry" to "watch me publicly kill this guy on my own team".

when his character is really messed up is the finale. when he decides to go super sayan racist mode and be like "i'm going to enslave you bitch kys" but is STILL TRYING TO RESURRECT NEB. perhaps he's delusional but they don't explain that!! if he's angry with miriam now, if he's fully evil now, his character motivation is gone. it cannot be "i want to resurrect my 'brother' and have a happy family again" because if he's going to turn on miriam in this way he should have no reason to keep trying with the circulum.

the show had so many places it could have solidified him as a villain- a true villain like he was supposed to look like at the end. they could have, say, shown him mistreating miriam or slaves. or shown him owning slaves. because we don't have any idea if the slaves in the summer palace are his- and they're probably not because he doesn't even live in that city. the palace is in Nessum, and he explicitly tells Tassia "don't worry queen i can't keep doing evil blood magic study because soon I have to go back to Minrathous".

they could have made him a descent into madness character- which is totally thrown off by the whole "hey don't get too deep into blood magic" "*kills people*" swapup. so now people can basically paint things however they want- because a lot of the "proof" for him being a certain way is inferences. justified, reasonable inferences, but inferences nevertheless and the show is just badly paced. and so we have people differing from "if you like rezaren you're a slaver" to "actually his enslavement was good and miriam is the real villian" and it's just. aagg. they were all good and bad characters!! liking a fictional character does not mean you agree with them. agony agony agony. anyways sorry for my 9 paragraph essay in your ask box but I am Tormented By Thots and your rezaren post reminded me of the queercoded little man who would call me slurs if I ever breathed the same air as him (he has 55 limp wrists and two arms. and it's no coincidence the show censored the only heterosexual kiss him and tassia have to be fruity at least just a bit)

Wow first of all thank you for taking the time to read my post and giving me your insights. I was fully viewing this in terms of what we see in the show but reading this, I must say a lot of aspects of how he was written also came into play. I loved the show and it's characters and I think it's biggest flaw is it's length since a lot of things had to be rushed and couldn't get explored on a deeper level.

He is definitely presented as a rather grey character and I think it's thanks to all of these sudden shifts that the fandom is very divided, since we didn't get to explore more about him and his other motivations or actions in the past we can merely judge him by what we see, and only what we are shown. From the start he did seem a bit manipulative, hiding true intentions behind the so called kindness, yet as the show progressed I couldn't help rooting for him, like you said: the harrowing scene doesn't show him in a bad light. He was completely helpless and in danger himself, the choice to use Neb was his mother's and I do believe she was also abusive to him. Sure not in the same way as Miriam got abused but you can see how fearful he was. When they were kids he was taught that slavery was normal and okay, yet we see an adult that wants to change that, he recognizes his mistakes.

The snapping did feel rushed and out of nowhere, and you're right. I hadn't noticed how conflicted his motivations are during the show. Perhaps it is indeed flawed writing but I think if we can find a logical explanation, it would point to the circulum itself. Tassia openly says that the thing is changing Rezaren, and she has known him for a while. Again, we haven't seen anything else from his past so nothing we can really base ourselves on. He seems to know blood magic and as far as we know he was always in control using it. Why did it change now? I blame the circulum, mixed of course with his desires being frustrated. Miriam was algo blinded by rage, both were equally stubborn and wanted to do something yet they sought a different purpose with different means and I can love and appreciate both. I just indeed dislike the discussion about Rezaren being a slaver, because imo he definitely isn't.

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apocketfullofmuses · 2 years ago

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@defectivexfragmented | continued X

The storm continued to rage outside, flashes of lightning filling the room moments before thunder shook the building while rain harshly pattered off the windows. Not that it mattered to them. They were happily wrapped up in their own little world to notice what else was happening. The power had gone out hours before and a few candles had been lit around the apartment so Bucky could move about comfortably, mainly to ensure all of Matthew's furniture remained in one piece after a mishap with a chair.

They lounged in bed dressed in sweats with Thai takeout spread out across several plates balanced carefully on top of the sheets. Laid back against the pillows, Bucky held each of their beers in hand to allow Matt's fingers to smooth over the pages in front of him, carefully reading each grouping of small bumps out loud.

A Flicker in the Dark. Karen had recommended it and it was turning out to be quite good, much to his surprise.

Still reading aloud, Matt was reaching for his beer when Bucky's words made him freeze up entirely, momentarily forgetting what he was doing in the first place while he tried to wrap his head around what was just said. He pulled his hand back slowly, only briefly though, before he took the bottle from Bucky and switched hands with it, giving up on the book entirely.

"I'm not going anywhere, sweetheart." With his free hand, Matt took Bucky's hand in his own and brought it up to his lips, kissing the back of his fingers. "You have me forever, I promise. Nothing is going to change that."

He had no idea why his mind had decided this was the moment; maybe it was the feeling of safety and contentment that was surrounding him, or maybe it was the thought that this was what he wanted for the rest of his life - he wanted to tie himself to this amazing man he'd had the luck to fall in love with, in every way possible. In his younger days marriage had been an inevitability for him, one day he'd be expected to settle down; and then the war had happened, and Hydra happened. For so long, even after getting his mind back, Bucky had convinced himself that no one could ever love him, no one could ever understand the person he'd become; but he hadn't bet on a blind lawyer vigilante changing all of that.

So now, snuggled up with the man who had changed his life, his mind and heart had decided this was it - no forced romantic moment, like he probably would have done in his past life, just them and their little bubble of peace in the middle of a storm.

"I'd feel better if you were legally obligated to be mine forever ... as my husband." There was no change in his heartbeat, no wavering in his voice, nothing but the certainty that this was what he wanted - and the hope that Matt felt the same. "Matthew Murdock, you are the best thing that's happened in my far too long life, will you marry me?"

#defectivexfragmented #muse | bucky barnes #connection | matt murdock #ship | bucky x matt #b v | dance with the devil ( matt murdock )

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spikeinthepunch · 2 years ago

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Blog: Where the fuck & When the fuck

Read on my website.

I think it is that time where I write another blog... My website has been slow for months due to so many other things and I like to use this site as an outlet for Big feelings and updates and life related dumps. I dont want to use this as a place to sigh and talk about all the things I'd like to do with the website cuz it's just stuff that... will happen when or if it happens.

The thought for this blog is just, wtf is going on? I know its not a thing I haven't voiced before. I feel directionless, and I struggle to hold my energy for literally any project I want to see through (most glaringly its a problem on all creative ones). Too many stories I would like to tell that I just... can't get out. They don't get progress. I am on a road to figuring this out in a more psychiatric way, in the sense of going to see a neuropsych soon and starting mood stabilizers.

I feel like I always go through waves of interest. If i am not gonna make a job out of art (old wishes to be a storyboard artist or char designer), then what will i do? Okay, i like the sound of cartoon production! Hm, not sure if i wanna do cartoon production, what else? Oh, I know-- I fight myself on whether or not these are logical progressions of thoughts or just my brain's inability to focus. And its not to say I can't have multiple choices, but I never get to even fulfill the idea to see if I'd like it anyways. I move on so quick when something catches my attention. Sure, I may be pretty decided in not doing an art intensive job in order to keep it in a hobby/personal place but why tf am I switching gears again?

I don't think I can be mad exactly. But it feels like the more I chase things the more I have no idea what's going on. And the inability to even get something done makes this all the more hopeless feeling.

Sorry, i dont mean for this to get so negative, because in actuality i wanted to talk about those new interests. Or growing ones i have had for a while. So what am I steering towards? Its been video games, for some time. May have always been there in the background too. But I think it has sat as an “unachievable” for forever. I mean, I love video games. And in my recently aging years I have come more and more to thinking video games are the best form that art could ever take. The personal interactions with video games have always made me feeling more connected to it than anything else, and the idea of someone getting to have their own unique interaction with art in that way is so cool to me. It made me think often that, if i were to tell stories, I would want that to be the form it takes.

But again, it seemed impossible. Video games take a lot of work. Maybe I could learn the art stuff, but... well, there is the coding part, that is what scared me off. Maybe I could use some engines with a lot of extra code help provided but, truly I didn't think I could make any of the things I hoped to make with just that and being on my own. The solution would be to may learn about coding but, that was the “scary” part. Not because code is a whole different ball game but because I just had this problem in my head were I was like.. “that is numbers and math. I'm bad at math. I will never be able to take a class on this in a college setting either because i was bad at school.”

My learning has always been a mess, and even right now as i tip toe around coding, i feel like i know i have interest in this. I think the technical stuff is neat but i have always just thought i couldnt “learn” it due to all the mental struggles of actual learning- you know, the conclusion that i may just be too stupid to change anything. That all my knowledge would stay surface level because i cant change that. But i badly dont want that to be the case... i want to learn code. I know i could do it, i feel i have that interest enough. But i sigh and sit back as i think, oh well... you know i have failed to hold onto this stuff before, is it worth dedicating my brain to this? Because i am not going to acheive what i want to acheive in a way id hope i can. I have fallen in and out of my attempts to learn over and over in the past year. I focused real hard to finish this website and it was majorly in a manic episode-- and thats the one problem symptom i am dealing with. The cool times i finish something is undeniably due to that and until i realized that i for one, thought those times were cool! Like wow, look! I actually did a thing! And then I crashed to depression and was like “my god, why cant i just do that all the time? What is going on? I really suck at focusing”. Anything i learn in a manic episode could be enough to do something great with but, that doesnt last long enough to make anything of it- or even though it seems great i get shit done in those episodes, manic episodes also lead to being too overwhelmed by the feelings to where i dont get stuff done still. Manic episodes arent what solved the problem, it still caused problems.

While my therapy has lead to a lot of good since i started the one that worked (its DBT), i have been at a consistent roadblock of... okay, i have learned some good skills. It has helped with a lot of emotional functioning. I understand my feelings more and i can handle myself better, being more mindful. But what i have not solved is the cognitive... my brain, my mood, my focus. There is a sort of comfort in being able to sit back and be mindful as it stops a lot of looping bad feelings for all this subject. But it leaves me in this... near bored, under stimulated state, where i just know i badly Want to do the thing. I can feel my passion. But i am unable to do it.

The neuropsych should be able to... answer a lot of these questions, so this is just. Airing out my exhausted mind. It is sad to look at people in my life that make me think “man, imagine what i would be doing if i was neurotypical”. Its not even in a jealous way, its just envy. It makes me happy to see people i know doing so well but it often pulls me to the “why am i not getting things done?”. I know why, but in the moments of passion it becomes frustrating to not be able to do the thing you so badly want to do.

I would like to come back with a blog where i can say this has changed, because so much has changed, and this can change. I am tired of working so hard, but i know that doesnt just stop for anything, even good things.

#do i have a tag for this #idk

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altheterrible · 1 year ago

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I'm excited about a future I never planned to have.

The therapist I saw through all four years of grad school, Kirk, gave me a plant as a parting/graduation gift the last time we met. It was a jade plant, a succulent. He told me that he picked it because he’d seen jade plants thrive in conditions that would be fatal for less sturdy plants, and that reminded him of me, thriving despite my shitty circumstances. Immediately, I was paralyzed by the idea of accidentally killing such a meaningful gift; my history with plants hasn’t been great. Kirk said if the plant did end up dying, that was okay. Plants die. Relationships end. Things change. Life is an ocean that is always in flux. The most important thing, he said, was that I had learned that my ship could stay afloat no matter what storms the ocean threw at me.

I was talking to my current therapist on Tuesday about how the therapy I did in grad school was basically triage. For four years, I fought to get myself stable enough that I was no longer in danger of killing myself, either purposefully or through self-harm. It was work that needed to be done before I could attempt, like, real therapy. Trauma therapy. Before I worked with Kirk, my memories--and the associated fear, anger--would completely overwhelm me several times a week. Self-harm was my surefire method to stop the spiraling and get back in the present, get back in control. I would cut myself, burn myself, hit myself, or overdose multiple times a week because I felt like the emotions inside of me were so huge, so extreme, that they would destroy me if I felt them. I needed to stop them instead.

So I did. Self harm was a life hack that meant in an instant, my anxiety, my anger, my sadness, whatever--it would be gone. It was like I could force-close my emotions. I had an instant off switch. The only problem was that this switch didn’t just turn off painful emotions, it worked by turning off all emotions. For a long time, I was fine with that--feeling nothing was an improvement over the pain I was always in. But it got to where I felt so numb that even things that should have brought me joy didn’t touch me. I felt like there was nothing worth living for because my options were “feel bad” or “feel nothing” and I felt trapped. The idea of living like that forever felt impossible. Staying alive felt pointless. The future felt hostile. I decided I didn't want to stick around for it.

Kirk got me out of that place and I'll never forget it. It took four years of CBT, DBT, group therapy, medication roulette, and three different psychiatric hospitals, but I finally managed to mostly kick the self-harm habit. I still slip up a few times a year, sure, but it’s not like it was. I’ve accepted that being 100% self-harm free probably isn’t going to happen for me, and that’s okay. I used to be very black and white about it. If I slipped up, I felt like I was a failure. I had to learn that slipping up doesn’t erase the good days. One bad day in a month of good days still meant I used better coping skills 29/30 days. I’m proud of the progress I’ve made. I think the therapy I did in grad school was harder than getting the degree. And it’s certainly been more helpful.

Anyway, I’ve had this jade plant since May 2019. Four years. But, uh, it isn’t looking too good right now. It might need to be repotted. It might need more sun. It’s wilting. I don’t know if I watered it too much, or if I didn’t water it enough. Plants don’t tell me what they need like my pets do.

I’m not giving up; I’m going to try repotting it. Jade plants are pretty resilient, so it has a good chance of bouncing back. But like, if it doesn’t, the idea of this plant dying no longer devastates me like it did four years ago. Because yes, plants die. Relationships end. Things change. Life is an ocean that’s always in flux. And all you can really do is enjoy the moments of smooth sailing when they happen, and when a storm blows in, know that it will pass.

I feel my feelings now instead of desperately trying to shut them off. A lot of the time, it sucks. I’m angry. I’m sad. I’m hurt. I’m lonely. But the tradeoff is that now I can feel positive emotions again. I feel joy, I feel creative, I feel connected to people in a way I’ve never been before.

Sometimes I watch the sun rise as I’m walking to work, and I feel so hopeful about the future I almost cry.

I don’t know what the future holds, but I am excited as fuck to find out.

#whining #long post #self harm #suicide #recovery #hope #the world is ugly but you're beautiful to me

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fr1day-incredible · 2 months ago

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Thanks for the tag!

And no pressure tags: @angst-is-love-angst-is-life @the-feral-gremlin (and any other mutuals/followers that write or just anyone who wants to do this tbh)

Novels, Short stories or Poems?

Well my ambitions lay with Novels. But i have yet to finish one. So I am now trying to write short stories (and in regards to reading, anything but poetry)

What genre do you prefer reading?

Oh it's gotta be action, crime, fluff (can you even call that a genre? Lmao) and horror. Yeah horror gotta be my ultimate favourite tbh

Are you a planer or write as I go kind of person?

Ik i should be a planner, but in reality I'm the figure-it-out-as-i-got-but-then-give-up-not-even-half-way-trougth-cuz-i-did-in-fact-not-figure-it-out

What music do you listen to while writing?

Really depends on what I'm writing, but usually I just got for my "Random <3" playlist that is 25+ hours long and has a fuck ton of different genres of songs in it

Favourite books/movies?

The warrior cats kid will forever live inside me. But Two Little Savages, it was my dad's favourite childhood book and so he showed it to me and I loved it as well <3 And here is also Three on a boat, not counting the dog, that my parents/grandma read to me and honestly I barely remember what it was about. But what I do remember is that I loved it! Also some specific Sherlock Holmes stories, I don't remember their names. I just remember it was a book my mom got as a present years ago, and it just had a collection of Sherlock stories with some unrelated pirate stories in there as well. And my god I was feral after that book, Sherlock had me in a choke hold!

Tho gotta say I only know warrior cats in Norwegian and the other three only in Russian. So my view of them might differ from the view that people who read them in English have lmao

And for movies it's gotta be Ocean's 11, Queen of the gas station orrrr Ivan Vasilievich: Back to the Future

If someone were to make a cartoon out of you, what would your standard outfit be?

Oh I wish I could say that it would be some really cool stylish outfit. But in reality it would be baggy jeans/sweet pants, a random t shirt, a hoodie and then headphones that have seen some shit as an accessory

Create a character description of yourself?

Ummmm, yeah I don't have the energy for that

Do you like to incorporate actual people you know into your stories?

I haven't actually done it, but I like the idea of it! Like making my friend(s) into epic background characters. Or if I'm writing a fic and one of the characters reminds me of someone ik irl, I can see myself giving some of the traits of the person ik irl to the character in a headcanon way

Are you kill happy with your characters?

I keep switching between it, like I decide to kill off a character and but then i change my mind about and then it's an infinite back and forth. So I think I gotta start compromising with: only almost killing them, resurrection (bonus point if they come back wrong one way or the other), becoming a ghost after death. But I'm not sure, I gotta think about it

Tea or coffee?

Tea (or water or some soda). I can not stand the taste or smell of coffee tbh

Slow or fast writer?

Sloooooooooow. Slow!

Where/What/Who do you draw inspiration from?

Anything, everything and anyone, literally

If you were in a fantasy world, what would it be?

Ooooo, I would love to become part of Narnia, Lotr/the hobbit or my own original world! :D

Most favourite book cliche? Least favourite?

Idk about favourite. I don't really issues with cliches, like just write what you want and like. And if I personally don't like it, I'll just click off and let you be in peace. But still I have my least favourite tropes, and it's: (if you can even count it as cliches) when a character loses their powers at the end, does a 360° to get kids and settle down pretty much out of the blue or loses all common sense because of a love interest they keep chasing. Like these tropes ofc can be done well! But most of the time I personally just don't like them either way 🤷

Favourite scene to write?

Oh that gotta be dialogue (especially if the characters are bickering), descriptions or a character's inner thoughts!

Reason for writing?

For my original story, I just want to document all my ideas so that I remember them and have a bit of me still exist in the far future! And for fics I just want to be part of the community, making people and myself happy with my works :D

Writeblr Interview Tag

Dearest @sableglass, again, many thanks. I appreciate you. Hope you are having a stupendous day. I hope you kick this weeks butt. The week is your bitch now.

Short stories, novels, or poems?

All. I write (very bad) poetry, and read (very good) poetry.

What genre do you prefer reading?

I lean towards fantasy tbh. I don't read much anymore- full time job means i choose- read or write. I usually choose to write.

Are you a planner or a write as I go kind of person?

Pft. What's a plan?

I really like stories that grow organically and move reactionary (kinda like playing a live D&D game with yourself).

So if i have a plan it's usually only some rough ideas of what happens next.

What music do you listen to while writing?

None. I write in silence.

No I'm not joking.

Yes, i'm aware its weird.

Favorite books/movies?

I don't have one really? But I guess right now I'm re-obsessed with Avatar the Last Air Bender. I am more obsessed with High Rollers D&D streams presently.

Go watch, it's better than anything on the Tellie.

If someone were to make a cartoon out of you what would your standard outfit be?

I'm seasonal:

late spring to end of summer:

tanktop, shorts, socks with sandals

late summer through the cold bits:

beanie, hoodie, yoga pants

Create a character description of yourself:

Eww no.

Do you like incorporating actual people you know into your writing?

No? There may be pieces of people I know but i cannot say that any character reflects any one person.

Are you kill happy with your characters?

Coffee or Tea while writing?

Both at the same time, also probably water and a club soda. I have 2-4 drinks with me at any given time.

Slow or fast writer?

Depends honestly. Some books go sonic fast, and some go much slower.

Where/who/what do you draw inspiration from?

The cosmic ether.

If you were in a fantasy world, what would you be?

Party healer that gets forced into supporting the protagonist and main party.

I'm combining these three because same answer who dis:

Most fav book cliche

Least favorite cliche

Favorite scene to write

The answer is that there is no answer. Most of this depends on how well the words go for me in terms of writing or reading. I'm quite happy with most cliches or scenes as long as it feels in keeping with the character.

Reason for writing?

The universe beats me on the head if i stop for too long. It's not a choice, it's a compulsion.

I be taggin (hopefully this isn't redundant, trying to revitalize the tag game economy and spread the <3 ):

@ettawritesnstudies

@simonnebethel

@dyrewrites

@leahnardo-da-veggie

@bluberimufim

@gothamxwattpad

#writing #writeblr #original story #writing fanfic #tag game

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sublimecatgalaxy · 2 years ago

Note

Friends with benefits situation and Daryl accidentally got Reader pregnant (oopsie!). One time she overheard his conversation with someone so she confronted him saying: why do you feel the need to specify we're just friends?

And yes, feel free to do angst.

Love love love love love. I didn't do so much angst because I couldn't imagine a situation where he genuinely meant it in a confrontational or mean manner so I hope this is okay :) Plus it's really late and I'm so tired.

Everyone citizen in Hilltop knows the reason why I'm so moody and swollen and that it's due to the man who stops by our settlement every other week just to check in on me. They've watched my belly grow over the last few months, my legs beginning to waddle as I make my way to the farm every day to salvage any of the usable crops, barely being able to bend over without the supervision of someone else there with me.

I think that, at first, every assumed that I had a husband or a partner, especially with how confident I've felt about my pregnancy this whole time. But over time, people watched Daryl and I interact and realized that he was indeed the daddy and their gazes switched at some point from something resembling pleasant shock to naive judgment.

I can see the wandering eyes, especially from Maggie and Jesus, as Daryl and I greet each other awkwardly at the gate every time that he stops by, sharing a weird and uncomfortable side hug. It's weird to answer questions about the baby and our future especially when there was never an intended future between us. We were having fun- a bit too much fun- and now we're stuck with something that'll bond us together forever.

It's not the worst idea of a life for me, but to him? To him it's probably comparable to prison.

We've been friends since his old group found me at the quarry, broken and scared as can be. He was strong and protective, something and someone that I found comfort in and he found the same in me. We didn't actually start sleeping with each other till we settled in Alexandria and realized how much more we could actually find in one another. It was more than sex- it was comfort and passion in an otherwise pretty cold and unforgiving world.

"W-Well who is she to you? She takes up a lot of time and energy with our doctor, barely pulls her weight-" Gregory starts but I hear Daryl grunt under his breath and the hair on my neck sticks up, my eyes fluttering shut to hear their words through the wooden door.

"She ain't n0thing special to me- a friend." My heart drops, my eyes opening as my whole body droops in disappointment, my frown deepening as I continue to listen. "That's all. If you need the man power, I'm willin' to help out. Jus' stop giving her trouble." There's still a sense of protectiveness in his voice, regardless of the friend zone that he just put me in, and in fills me with the same sense of comfort, knowing that he'll always have my back when I need it.

Suddenly, the door creaks open and I trip into it, sending me into the room and down onto my knees in front of the two men. I look up at them, winded, with a bashful smile, trying to think of a way to get me out of this without telling the two of them that I was eavesdropping.

But there's no getting out of it, especially when Gregory just scoffs and Daryl's head tips back with a small smirk on his lips. He knows full well that I would never just let two men decide my fate in where I live and what I do, especially if it's revolving around a pregnancy that I could've done nothing to control.

"I was eavesdropping but only because I hate men talking about me behind my back." I force myself to my feet, holding the underside of my belly as neither men make any move to help me to my feet. I frown at the both of them, watching Gregory just fall back into his seat with a small sigh.

"I'll talk with Maggie and Jesus. Maybe they can shift your skills elsewhere, somewhere other than the garden." Gregory mutters before waving Daryl and I off, silently shooing us out of his office. I watch Daryl hesitantly as we step out of the office and into the privacy of the hall and I don't waste a moment before speaking my mind.

"Why do you feel the need to specify we're just friends?" I ask with a small pout and his back stiffens visually at the comment, his hand reaching up to run his fingers through his hair, my eyes following his every move.

"Gregory ain't gotta know our business. Doesn't matter what he thinks." He shrugs simple, taking a step closer to me as my chin tilts to gaze up at him through my lashes, still, a disappointed frown on my lips.

"Are we just friends?" I ask nervously, swaying on my swollen feet as Daryl laughs a bit under his breath, hair falling in his eyes as he shakes his head.

"You havin' my kid, aren't you?" He asks and I nod, my hands still soothing over my aching stomach, catching the way his eyes flutter down to look at my hands. "Then how 'bout you answer that question." He whispers, voice comfortingly low as he reaches out, his fingers brushing against mine.

"I'd say we're more than friends." I chuckle, thinking back to all the times that we've passed the line of typical friends and how quickly we've slipped back into just being and acting like friends for the sake of those around us.

"Then we're more than friends." He shrugs simply, as if I just clarified our whole relationship in one simple sentence, defining our relationship as 'more than friends' which would be obvious to anyone paying the slightest bit of attention to the two of us. "Don't know where you got the idea that I've got any say or any opinions about this." He laughs, reaching out to pat my stomach gently before pressing a gentle kiss to my temple as he makes his way past me. "You're in charge."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- Taglist: @bubblebuttwade @rafelover2405 @leslienjazzy @sorceresss @grxnde-dwt @alex–awesome–22 @bunnietoof @niyamar1e @serialghost @plantlungs @geniusohn @akaliltimmytim @lilaalouuxx @xshariex @elliotsbeigeguitar @elle4404 @lelieja @srhxpci @joselyn001 @taysirene @spinkspanther @thedivineuphoria @peter-maximoffs @tsukishimawhore @poohkie90 @szlaco @distantsighs @nstyles4299 @wolflover384 @givemefoodandlovesstuff @vane28282 @yeswhatever33 @amirrahfranson @vvaalleennttiinna @f-mu @yaspillz @jeyramarie @skylievin@abbybarnes17 @jointherebellion215 @visiondaddy @steezysimfinds @its-ya-gay-boi-luigi

@crunchytoenailsyum@glizzymcguirex @beth123lg @melovesmut @rafecameronswhore @ariianelle @write-from-the-heart @vampviolets@haylee-e@popehaywardssecretgf @honee-chai-tea @lokiandbuckywife @smoke-and-fire @officiallyunofficialperson@heyaitsklaudia@rosepetalsparks @bluetreecloud20 @scenesofobx @double-shot-of-tequila @1dluver13xx @colbysbrocks @iamasimpingh0e @smoke-and-fire386 @loveshineslikethesky @id-3-kbro @diorsitgirl @errorfound101-allideasburnedout @neverwillknowme18 @ellyskey @taylors-folk @loversjoy @myaloveee @thyris-is @lagataprrr @aaaaslaaaan @minjix @luvrosee @storytellingwitht @savageneversaw

#daryl #daryl x reader #daryl dixon #daryl dixon x reader #the walking dead #the walking dead fic

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iguana-eyanna · 3 years ago

Text

A Big Heart Like Yours

Pairing: Foggy Nelson x reader

Summary: you and Foggy have been trying to have kids, but it comes with some doubts.

Warning: drunk guy hitting on you, problems with conceiving

It was another ordinary day in the Nelson and Murdock Attorneys At Law.

The two best friends were quietly eating their food after meeting with a client who had a very messy case.

Karen just came back with fast food lunch for herself, sitting between Matt and Foggy, your husband.

Yes, you were recently married to the most caring and loving man this past year. You originally met him two years ago on a Friday night at Josie's. Some drunk guy approached you with hungry eyes and kept on pressing on you, even when you denied him many times.

Foggy, who was standing nearby at the pool table, decided to approach the guy and respectfully told him to leave you.

"What are you going to do about it?" The man slurred, clutching your wrist.

You immediately started to feel your blood boil and used your free hand to punch him in the face.

A few guys saw the commotion and took the jerk outside, as you could hear Josie from the bar that he's banned for life.

All Foggy could do was stare at you, as you were flexing your hand from how bruised it was.

"That was the hottest thing I have ever seen in my life." Foggy said out loud.

"Do I need to punch you too?" You ask, staring at him in disbelief.

"No! I didn't mean- what I meant was..." He stuttered his words out.

"I'm kidding. I appreciate you coming up." You replied.

"I would have done it for anyone. Some guys just can't get the hint." He says.

Foggy looks down at your hand, seeing a slight bruise forming at your knuckles.

He offers his cold beer to you. "Here, you need something to ice that."

You look at him, off guard by his sweet gesture and take the cold beer.

"Thanks." You say with a tint of pink in your cheeks.

He gives you a shy smile and started a conversation with you. You two ended the night switching numbers and the rest was history.

Now, Foggy was staring down at a quinoa salad, sighing loudly.

"Something wrong there, bud?" Matt asked, as he could sense something has been bothering his friend all day.

"Why's it so hard to get pregnant?" Foggy asks out loud.

Karen almost chokes on her food as well as Matt. They quickly collect themselves before reacting to their friend.

"I'm sorry, what?" Matt asked out loud.

Foggy puts down his plastic utensil and places his hand on his face, frustrated.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to announce this to you guys like this."

Karen pieced it together, gasping out loud.

"Wait, are you and..." She stopped her sentence, looking at Foggy.

The man himself cracks in a light chuckle, shaking his head yes.

"Yep: Me and the wife are starting a family."

Karen smiled widely, shrieking with joy as Matt smiled and placed a hand on Foggy's shoulder.

"Congrats man, I had no idea." Matt said.

Foggy cracks a grin and rolled his eyes.

"We've been wanting kids since forever, so we decided now's a good time since our jobs have been stable." Foggy replied.

It was true. You recently got a promotion and Foggy has been getting hired for more cases recently. Thinking that now you were both financially stable, it was the perfect time to start trying. You got off the pill real quick, but to no avail was conceiving a success.

Foggy started pouring his heart out to his friends.

"I hate every time I come back home, she's crying over a negative plastic stick. It breaks my heart seeing her defeated. So, we've been on a strict diet these past few weeks to have a better chance at conceiving. Not that it's bad but we can't even enjoy our favorite foods during date night.” He says, almost gagging from the thought of the vegan chicken pasta you tried with him (and was thrown out in the trash real quick).

“It’ll come, don’t sweat it Fog” Matt said, trying to lighten his friend’s mood.

“We hope things turn out better than expected.” Karen added.

“Thanks guys, but you know what will make me feel better? If I could steal a gyoza.” Foggy said, eying Karen’s lunch. The rest laugh out loud as Karen offered the Tupperware to foggy as he took a delicious bite.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Foggy walked the way home again, clearing his thoughts. You were most likely at home before him, either trying a new tasteless recipe or looking at another pregnancy test. He loved how you had your heart on having a baby with him, but the whole process shouldn’t take a toll on you.

He pushes those thoughts aside as he jiggles his keys in the lock of your apartment, opening the door widely to be greeted with the scent of

Pizza?

“Babe?” He says out loud, as you were out of sight.

“In the kitchen!” You hollered.

He turns toward the area and sees you pouring two glasses of wine in front of a closed box of pizza. Scratch that, it was his favorite pizza that could only be found thirty minutes away on foot.

“Hey handsome.” You looked up to him, flashing a blinding smile. He puts his bag in one of the chairs and walks up to you.

“What’s all this?” He asks, placing his hands on your waist and pulling you to him.

“I know I’ve been stirred crazy about this whole pregnancy thing, so I wanted to apologize how I’ve been acting lately.” You said, shrugging your shoulders slightly.

“Hey, no one talks badly about my wife, even herself.” Foggy stated, wrapping his arms around you protectively. He could feel your body slump against him.

"I know you're this badass woman, but it's okay to not be okay. Things don’t magically happen the first time, we just gotta be patient with these things.” He says.

“Last time I remembered, you are an impatient man.” You said.

He fake gasps at your joke. “How dare you accuse me of this false information?”

You laugh loudly as you're still in Foggy’s arms. He then moved a strand of hair that fell in your face and looked at your bright eyes.

“I can’t wait to have a baby with you. You’re going to be the best mom ever.”

"You're going to be the greatest dad in this universe." You said.

"How so?" He teases, inching closer to your lips.

"A big heart like yours? The kid knows they're going to be loved from Pluto and back."

Foggy takes his turn to laugh softly, but it ends when he kisses your plump lips. You both hold each other as you longed for each other's touch.

He pulls away momentarily.

"As much as I want this, I'm starving for that pizza." He says.

You laugh abruptly as you almost forgot about dinner.

"Let's watch a movie while eating, I'll put on Netflix." You said, already heading to the couch.

"Netflix? Haven't they discontinued series people like recently?" He says, already grabbing the pizza box and the glasses of wine.

"We could still watch the new season of Bridgerton?" You suggested.

"Setting the mood, I like it." He teases as he joins you on the couch.

You look at each other in the dim lights and snuggle closer to each other, knowing that whatever happens, it will be alright.

Who knew that in two months, you're both staring at a positive pregnancy test.

#marvel #foggy nelson #daredevil #foggy nelson x reader #foggy nelson fanfiction #foggy nelson x y/n #matt murdock #karen page

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nightshade-minho · 4 years ago

Text

Blue Book -(13)-

wc: 5k+

warnings: making out, some uncomfortable situations, angst, smut, oral, degradation, unprotected sex etc.

It was the day after the kiss, and you still hadn’t gotten over it. How could you? You could still feel his lips against yours, still remember the way he tasted. If the night hadn’t ended so abruptly, you wondered where it would have gone.

Sobering up Minho hadn’t been a difficult task. Thankfully he was mature enough. He listened to you, drank the water you gave him, and went back to sleep as soon as the two of you reached your home. You were glad he knew how to cooperate with you, thankfully your best friend knows when he’s gone too far.

He was still asleep, now. Usually he liked waking up earlier, but today was clearly an exception.

You sighed as you made yourself a bowl of cereal in the kitchen, your eyes staring into the milk and wishing you could drown in them, when Minho walked into the room. He let out a small sigh under his breath as he saw you at the table. Last night was a blur, and he could barely remember anything. His brain was swimming with a million different emotions and thoughts as he ran his eyes over you. Hm.

He yawned, stretching and plopping down on the seat opposite you.

“How are you feeling?” You asked groggily, not looking up.

“Better. A lot better, actually.” He sighed, leaning forward. “I’m so so sorry, Y/n. It was irresponsible of me, I feel so bad for making you leave the party and cutting your night short.”

“Well, when one of my best friends is drunk and having a breakdown in the bathroom, what else am I supposed to do?” You sighed and sat back, staring at his remorseful face. “What was that all about, anyway?”

Minho sighed. There was no way he could tell you, no way he could express the guilt he was feeling.

"I don't know. I was just...crying for no reason at all. Alcohol can do that to you, I guess. No biggie."

You sighed. "No biggie? I- you know what, whatever." You sat up. "If you don't want to tell me what's bothering you, that's fine. Just don't do it again."

You looked at Minho, his expression twisting your heart. He just looked so….sad. It made you regret your words.

"Hey, Min…" You shifted your chair closer to his. "You know I'm here for you, right?"

He sniffed at that, looking away and at his feet. "Are you?"

"Yeah."

"Doesn't seem that way." He mumbled, thinking back to last night. He'd been way too drunk to recall it properly, but he could still vaguely remember you and Chan, standing too close for it to be anything innocent. What had the two of you been doing before he’d interrupted?

"What?" Your eyes narrowed in confusion as you stared at him, his words puzzling you. “Min-"

He shook his head, patting your hair. "It's okay, Y/n. Forget I ever said anything, okay?" You opened your mouth to protest but he placed his finger over your lips before you could say anything. "Shh. Let's watch a movie or something, I just want to get my mind off everything that’s happening.”

You groaned, ready to protest again as soon as he pulled away from you. However he'd already grabbed the remote by then, switching on the TV and dragging you over to the couch. There was a random movie already playing onscreen, a scene of a ballroom filled with dancing couples catching your eye.

"Min, gimme a second, I haven’t even washed my bowl-“

"Shh."

He chuckled as he suddenly began twirling you around the room, ignoring your whiny protests as the classical music flooded the space.

"Come on Y/n. Just let go. We didn't get to finish our dance last night anyway." He whispered in your ear, suddenly picking you up by the waist and swirling you around.

You let out a squeal, holding onto him tighter. "M-min, put me down-"

He did so, continuing to dance. "Y/nnie~ You know you want to~" He smirked, giggling softly as he observed your expression change slightly.

His laugh had always been contagious. You let a small smile grace your face, making his grin grow wider. You rolled your eyes and started following his rhythm, giggling.

"Yes! Finally.” He excitedly continued your little waltz, looking down at you. You'd started to co-operate, and he felt himself smile at the sight. He felt so happy whenever he was spending time with you. So calm and at ease.

He loved watching you smile. And being the reason behind it only made him happier.

"You're perfect, Y/n." He mumbled softly under his breath, his eyes running over your face.

You didn't hear him properly, the music drowning out his voice.

He couldn't help but bite his lip as he looked at you. Fuck, how did he ever find it in himself to hurt you the way he had all those years ago?

He could stare at you forever if he could. His eyes carefully took in each eyelash, the curve of your cheeks, the slope of your lips- he wished he could freeze this moment forever, so that he would never forget how you looked happy and smiling.

If there was one thing Minho knew he regretted, it was his behaviour back then. He knew he'd been a terrible person. Perhaps he could compare himself to a black hole, one that sucked out all the positivity and happiness in a room.

There'd been a time when all he felt as soon as he saw your face was hatred. Clouded judgments that had messed with his decisions, making him act like a complete asshole. All he had in his mind back then was rage, directed at you and the man you were linked to. The man who had ruined his family’s life.

But now, when he looked at you, he only felt calmness and a sense of safety. It just felt right, you being in his arms. After all, now he knew you’d been a victim as well. You’d gone through it all too, the same abuse and abandonment that had happened to him. It was the same man who had brought the two of you down.

You smiled at him as you gave in completely, dancing with him and letting go of your inhibitions. The music overtook your heart as you went along, dancing with him as you stared into his eyes and wondered what he was thinking about.

He came to a halt as the music slowed, staring at your face adoringly. Your beautiful, smiling, happy face. His eyes carefully took in your features once more, a soft smile gracing his lips.

And somehow, he just couldn't hold himself back anymore. The sight of your big doe eyes looking up into his was affecting him too much.

This was a bad idea...

He knew that all too well. It was the opposite of what he'd decided to do last night, which was to let you go and set things right.

But...but why not?

Fuck it. Maybe it was a reckless decision, but who cares? He deserved happiness too, right?

Minho let the hand on your waist drift up to your cheek, and before you could even process what was happening…

His lips were pressed to yours.

For a minute, you didn't know how to react. It was a foreign feeling, and you hadn’t really expected something like this to happen.

Although it didn’t feel entirely unpleasant, you still felt surprise and confusion overtake you as your eyes widened. You could barely process it, your thoughts flitting all over the place frantically.

Minho frowned as he noticed your lack of reaction, your lips barely moving against his.

He pulled away quickly, stumbling over his words.

Shit, what had he done? "Fuck, I'm sorry, Y/n-"

You looked up, blinking as you stared at his worried face. His eyes were frantic as they flitted around, his brain clearly overrun with thoughts as his mouth opened to blurt out more apologies.

As you stared at his heaving chest, your eyes wandering up to his lips, a sudden thought flew into your brain.

You weren’t quite sure where it came from or whether you should even follow it... but as the seconds went by, the more the urge took over you. You’d never really felt like this before.

You didn’t know what it was in you that prompted you to do it...a need for revenge on Chan? Or did you actually have feelings for your best friend? You weren’t sure.

You pulled Minho back towards you quickly, kissing him back desperately. He responded almost immediately, whining against your lips at the force with which you were kissing him.

You didn't know what you were feeling, though.

It felt nice kissing him,definitely...it felt comfortable, and his lips were so sweet and soft.

However...there was an evident lack of passion. At least from your side.

It was just rough. That's all you could feel from the kiss- roughness. And that was your fault really...Minho's initial approach had been much softer. You’d been the one to turn the kiss into what it was now.

Minho gripped your hips, moving you over to the wall. He pinned you against it, molding his lips against yours in another angle.

It still didn't feel right. Chan's kisses were so different...his lips were so much softer and plumper, and the way he kissed you made you feel like you were on top of the world, even when it was rough.

He’d been your first kiss. You couldn’t have asked for a more perfect one, really. You’d felt safe and secure in his arms, even as the thunderstorm raged in the background. His lips had made you forget it all, made you focus on nothing but how wonderful it felt to have him pressed against you.

You snapped back to the present and realized Minho had moved onto your neck, leaving kisses there as his hand migrated down your body to play with the waistband of your sweatpants.

Oh. Shit, you were making a mistake.

You pushed him away suddenly, regretting it as you accidentally did it with a little too much force. Minho looked at you in confusion, his chest heaving as he stared at you.

“Y/n?”

“No.” You scrunched your eyes shut, taking in a shaky breath. “We can’t do this.”

“But- but why?”

“It’s just wrong. It feels wrong.”

The flash of hurt in his eyes made you regret your choice of words. You scrambled to fix your mistake, standing up straight and stepping around him.

“I’m sorry...uh, it’s just- don’t you think it’s weird?” You bit your lip, staring at him as he furrowed his eyebrows.

“Weird?”

“Us. I just never thought you felt that way about me. I’m your stepsister-“

He frowned, shaking his head and running a hand through his hair as he glared at you.

He frowned, shaking his head and running a hand through his hair as he glared at you. “What? No. I’ve never seen you in that way.” He raised an eyebrow. “That’s not the kind of relationship we have, and you know it too. That would have been the case if that bastard was still alive, but he isn’t. He isn’t a part of our lives at all, he doesn’t even fucking exist to me!” He shouted, blinking rapidly and breathing heavily as your words bore into his brain.

Was that really what you saw yourself as? His stepsister? The thought disgusted him. He’d never viewed you in such a light, and thinking of you seeing him like that was unsettling, to say the least.

Minho was suddenly feeling an urgent need to throw up.

“Any link created by him is not real, Y/n. We’re not fucking related.”

“But- look, I just-“ you stared at the ceiling, trying to find the right words to say. The man in front of you looked devastated, and that in turn made your heart ache. “We share a sister. And, I don’t know, you were always just my best friend. I never thought you felt anything for me.” You mumbled out, not even knowing what you were saying. You’d never actually seen Minho as your brother- but you’d never seen him in a romantic light either.

“I think I made it pretty fucking obvious.”

“No you didn’t! I just thought you were being a good friend. And how could I ever think you’d have feelings for me after the way you treated me when we were younger?”

He looked back up at you, his eyes narrowing. “Y/n…I thought you’d forgiven me for that. You said you did.”

“W-well…I haven’t forgotten.” You sighed and pinched your forehead, taking another step back.

“I’m sorry, Minho. I really am.” Deep down, you knew it was just an excuse. It all was. You felt terrible at the moment...it wasn’t really his fault.

You knew the real reason already. Your heart belonged to somebody else, unfortunately.

He just shook his head, sinking down onto the couch as he stared at the ground. “It’s okay.” He said in the softest voice possible.

“Are you sure?” You asked, looking at him, your heart clenching as you observed his expression. Heartbroken and covered in silent devastation. It was new, seeing him like this. Minho rarely let things get under his skin, so seeing him on the verge of tears was disturbing.

“Yeah, whatever.” He said, sighing. “Just want you to be happy.” He added in a mumble- but you couldn’t hear him.

There was an awkward silence for a while, as you shifted from one foot to another. The room suddenly felt heavy and nauseating, your heart pounding in confusion.

“C-can I step out for a bit?” You asked, twisting your fingers. “I just need to clear my mind.”

He nodded slightly, leaning back against the sofa and staring at the TV silently, his eyes glazed over as the screen continued playing the gaudy movie.

Taking that as a yes, you went over to the front door, putting on your shoes with some difficulty as you tried to focus.

Looking back one more time, you left without a word.

***

It was raining lightly, and you groaned as you walked down the street without an umbrella. It wasn’t heavy enough to soak you, but it still felt a little unpleasant as your clothes started sticking to your body.

You hadn’t wanted to hurt Minho, but you evidently had. Surely you could have handled it some other way? Now you’d hurt your best friend, the one person you’d trusted besides Felix. And all for what?

Did Chan even like you? Was it all still just a bet to him? Had the kiss meant anything?

Who were you even reserving your heart for?

Your mind was filled with thoughts as you reached your home, unlocking the door and stepping in silently. Your clothes hadn’t gotten that wet, so you didn’t bother to change clothes as you headed straight to your room. The whole apartment was kinda dark, and you couldn’t really see anything.

Opening your door, you stumbled through the dark room and climbed into your bed, pulling the blankets higher up and closing your eyes. You were just so tired, and all these intrusive thoughts didn’t help one bit.

A nap might clear it all up, hopefully.

***

Isn’t it funny how one could manage to lose everything important to them, all in the span of a few minutes?

Minho sat on the sofa, feeling like he’d lost everything. Everything that ever meant anything to him, all because of his reckless, impulsive decisions and terrible judgment.

But he’d known this would have happened, sooner or later. There was no point in being angry at himself, or Chan, or you- or anyone, really. He couldn’t have held his feelings in forever, and he should have known the consequences that such a choice could bear.

Was this what karma felt like?

Minho leaned back in the couch and buried his face in his hands, relishing the darkness that graced his eyes.

It was all his fault. Everything was.

Always had been. He deserved this.

***

You didn’t know how long you’d slept for, all you knew was that you were well rested now. Turning around sleepily, you reached for your phone, switching it on.

The first thing you saw was a bunch of messages from Minho, your phone pinging with so many notifications that it nearly vibrated off the table.

I’m sorry.

I fucked up, Y/n

Please come back

Y/n?

I want to explain, I want to talk to you

I have some things to tell you.

I’m sorry please forgive me, I don’t know what came over me

You mean so much to me. I don’t want to lose you.

You blinked as you read the messages, tears pricking your eyes as you sat up. You checked the time, it was afternoon. You wanted to sleep just a little more, and then maybe have lunch. After that, you’d head back to Minho’s apartment to talk, and hear him out on whatever he wanted to say.

You sighed, sliding back down. Needing something to hug and make you feel better, you turned around and felt around for your pillow. Inching closer, you wrapped your arms and legs around the soft warmth next to you.

Wait. This...this definitely wasn’t a pillow.

Fuck.

You shot up in bed and screamed, scrambling away from the sleeping body next to you. Your infernal scream caused the person to shoot up too, them rubbing their eyes as you made out their silhouette getting up quickly to switch on the lamp.

“Y/n!?”

“CHAN?”

It was him, alright.

Chan.

Shirtless Chan.

Fuck, Chan was sleeping in your bedroom. In your bed. Shirtless. And he’d been right next to you all this time, being hugged by you.

Did I mention he was shirtless?

You swallowed, your thoughts flitting all over the place as your dry mouth tried to come up with something to say. “What the fuck are you doing in my room!?” You asked, sitting up and glaring at him. “Get out!!”

“Felix let me sleep here! Why would he make me sleep on the sofa when there’s an empty bed right here- wait, when the fuck did you sneak in anyway?” He swore, running his hands through his hair. “Jeez, You scared the shit out of me.”

“You did! You scared me!”

“You’re the one who sneaked in without any prior notice!”

You stood up from the bed and walked towards him, crossing your arms. “Well I never gave you permission to use my room! So get out before I make you.”

“Too bad I don’t give a fuck.”

“God, you’re so infuriating!” You shot out, exasperated as you buried your head in your hands, trying to control yourself from snapping his head right off.

“You’re one to talk.”

“Just shut up!”

He smirked, stepping closer to you. “Why don’t you make me?”

Of course. Of course he’d use that infamous line.

You weren’t going to fall for his bait though.

Or were you?

It’s just that Chan’s lips looked incredibly soft right now. Plump. So welcoming…

Not to mention, he was breathing very heavily and clearly worked up from your little tiff.

Fuck. You were going to regret this.

You’d overestimated yourself. In a second, you were all over him, leaning up to press your lips to his soft ones needily and passionately.

His reaction was lightning quick. Groaning into your lips, he quickly lifted you up, holding you against the wall much like Minho had. You felt a flash of guilt run across your mind, but it was quickly replaced as Chan bit your bottom lip harshly, groaning past your lips.

"I hate you." you mumbled, pulling away as he stared into your eyes, his own wild and alive.

"Feeling's mutual." He groaned, attaching his lips to your neck and sucking on the skin roughly.

"Wait, no marks-"

"Shut up and take it, you little slut." Fuck, Chan had been wanting to do this since the first moment you decided to be a brat to him. He’d been itching to teach you a lesson, show you some discipline.

He rubbed himself against you, his eyebrows furrowing as he felt the wetness soak through your panties.

He pulled you away from the wall, dragging you over to the bed and throwing you on it.

“You’re dripping, aren’t you? So much for hating me.” He let out another mocking chuckle as he leaned down, pressing a kiss over your clothed folds.

You whined, squirming slightly and causing him to hold you down. He looked up at you, warning flashing in his eyes. “Careful, my little whore. You better not piss me off any further.” He grabbed the waistband of your panties and slowly slid them down, pulling them off your legs.

His attention slowly went back to your soaked pussy, licking his lips as he leaned in again.

“Is this all for me?”

You didn’t say anything- which was a mistake. For chan placed a solid slap on your pussy, causing you to cry out as you looked down at him tearily.

“Tell me.”

You hated to admit it...but it was the truth. “Yes.” You said softly, looking at him with an imploring gaze. “All yours.”

“That’s what I thought.” Growling, he placed his plump lips on top of your clit, sucking on it slowly but harshly. The overwhelming pleasure caused you to arch your back, your thighs threatening to close if Chan wasn’t holding them apart so harshly.

“Such a little whore we have here.”

He slowly explored your pussy with the tip of his tongue, relishing every whimper and whine that left your tongue. You tasted so fucking good, he felt like he could never get enough.

Pulling away, he let a sole finger trace your wetness, gently dipping past your entrance. “Do you always get this wet?”

You shook your head, your cheeks turning red as he smirked up at you. “Interesting.” He leaned back down, suddenly taking your clit between his lips and sucking harshly. The sensation caused you to throw your head back, the feeling too profound.

You couldn’t believe this was happening.

His lips released your sensitive bud after a few seconds, still gently lapping at it with his tongue as he sat up, pulling down his sweatpants and pulling out his thick, veiny length. You looked down at it, your eyes widening.

So this really was happening.

He moved closer, pumping himself as he pressed his tip against your clit. He slowly slicked the head of his cock through your folds, coating it with your juices and letting out a soft groan. He’d spent so long imagining how you felt, this was like a dream come true.

Slowly, he pushed the head of his cock in. You whimpered softly, feeling how snug it felt within your walls. He was big, a lot more than you’d expected. Regardless of whether or not you’d be torn in half by the end of this, you still pulled him down towards you.

Your eyes wandered over his lips, before flitting back to his own. He gazed at you, sliding in and stretching you out just a little further as he leaned forward to press his lips to yours.

It was gentle this time, yet felt every bit as passionate. You’d never felt like this before. Chan kissed you softly yet urgently, as he pushed in all the way, bottoming out and making you let out a soft whimper.

You’d never felt so full, so satisfied. You felt one with him. It was perfect. In fact you felt like you could stay in this position forever, if the universe permits.

Chan pulled away, his lips throbbing. You looked perfect under him, eyes blown out and hair fanned out around you. Beautiful, just like how he’d pictured it all these years.

Originally, he’d planned to fuck your brains out. Ram into you so hard you would forget your own name, teach you some good behavior.

Right now though, he was consumed with the overwhelming need to make love to you, make you his. To treat you like his princess.

But then he remembered.

You weren’t his.

The anger which had disappeared was back, as Chan gritted his teeth. No, you were his and you always will be. He had to make sure you knew that, needed to make sure you would leave him before long.

It was hopeless though, and he knew that. You belonged to someone else, as much as he wished you didn’t.

Chan had to live in the moment.

And so he drove his cock deeper, causing you to whine out as he pulled out once more. The drag of his length against your walls was so pleasurable it almost drove you to tears. You found yourself wishing he would hold you close to him like this forever.

But you couldn’t fool yourself. This was probably going to be a one time thing. There was no way the universe was going to hand you your happy ending on a platter just like this...right?

You were shook out of your thoughts when Chan slammed back in, jolting you up the bed with the sheer force of his thrust. It brought tears to your eyes, tears borne of pure pleasure.

Soon, he was fucking you deep, his thrusts consistent. His lips slid over your neck, occasionally making their way back up to your mouth.

You clutched onto him tightly, whining at the extreme pleasure. Chan grunted at how tight you were, his core tightening with every thrust.

“You’re so wet, so tight. Fuck, babygirl…” he pulled out all of a sudden, causing your eyes to widen as you looked up at him, pouting. “What was that for?”

He leaned back against the headboard, patting his lap. “Come here and ride daddy’s cock.”

Your cheeks flushed at those words. Carefully, you sat up and crawled over to him, pausing in front of him.

You know you were supposed to have him inside of you once more, but you just couldn’t resist. You wanted to taste him…

And so you leaned down, taking the head of his cock into your mouth. Chan’s eyes widened in surprise at the move, his hooded eyes watching you. “Princess, I thought I told you to-“ he groaned, sucking in a breath between his teeth when you ran your hot tongue over his slit, your drool dripping all over his cock.

He stared at you, sighing to himself as you slowly took him in deeper. You could only be described as a perfect mess to him, sweat beaded on your forehead as your swollen lips wrapped around his tip, sucking slowly.

“F-fuck...are you teasing me, baby girl?” He hissed, taking a handful of your hair and pulling you off his cock. He swallowed as he noticed the string of his pre-cum that was still attached to your mouth. The sight was so sinful it could have made him cum right then and there.

“As much as I’m loving this princess, I really need to be inside of you right now.” He said firmly, pulling you onto his lap. He gripped your hips tightly as he moved you forward, letting his tip press up against your soaked folds.

“Do you know how long I’ve waited for this moment, Y/n? You and me?”

You didn’t say anything, your eyes widening slightly as you heard the words. You were just about to reply when he thrust into you abruptly, sheathing his entire cock in your snug pussy.

You let out a long drawn out whine. It had been a while since you’d had someone inside of you, and you were still getting used to the feeling of his girth.

“How does that feel?” He asked gently when he saw your expression, his scary dom persona shed for a few seconds as he stroked your back.

You looked at him, tightening your arms around him as you pouted. “You’re just so...b-big. I can barely breathe.” You mumbled, clenching experimentally around his rigid length and making him hiss. He clutched your hips immediately, smirking up at you.

“And your pussy is so tight and warm...all for me…” he mumbled, his finger gently flicking your clit.

You moaned, blinking and letting out a soft whine as he slowly moved a little. “Ready?” He asked, tilting your chin up to press a kiss to your nose. You inhaled deeply, before nodding. “Yes, daddy.”

He groaned at the name, running his eyes over your innocent face. He leaned up to kiss you as he thrust his hips, driving them into you slowly at first. Nipping at your bottom lip, he grabbed you by the waist and lifted you up until the tip was barely grazing your pussy.

The way he was holding you up as if you weighed nothing was making your whole face turn red. Groaning softly, Chan winked at you before suddenly slamming you back down onto his cock, making you cry out in pure pleasure.

It felt so…incredible, for lack of a better word, as he kissed you deeply before guiding your hips, making you bounce on his cock.

You felt helpless as your moans grew louder, Chan fucking you on his cock relentlessly. He pounded into you from below, lifting you up again and slamming you down in time with his thrusts.

“You’re so perfect, you know that?” You whined loudly and shook your head. “I- I don’t know.” You cried out softly, his cock ramming into you roughly. Barely able to continue your sentence, you moaned as he grabbed your ass cheeks tightly, spreading them apart.

“Shut up. You are, and that’s final.” He grunted as he suddenly got up, still shallowly fucking you. He stumbled over to the wall and pressed you against it, attacking your neck and covering it with bruises as he tore apart your insides.

“I’m- fuck!” You gasped when you felt him bite your nipple lightly, your hand coming up to his face. “I’m c-close, please-“

He chuckled, his hand slithering between your bodies to rub slow circles on your clit. “So you’re telling me I control your orgasm?”

“N-no I meant-“

“You meant what you said, baby.” He chuckled and kissed you. “It’s alright though, I’ll let you cum, babygirl. All you have to do is beg.”

“B-but…” you whimpered and pouted at him, but he merely shook his head.

“Go on, now.” He said strictly, slightly slowing down his thrusts.

You groaned in frustration as he reduced his speed. Your eyes wide and innocent as you looked up at him.

“Please, daddy, wanna cum so bad, need it...”

He pretended to think for a second, before nodding and smirking as he rammed into you so hard you’d probably never walk again. You never knew he had so much stamina, so much brute force.

Each thrust was like a burst of fire within you.

Soon enough, you felt your orgasm crash down on you, leaving your entire body shaking in the wake of it.

The overstimulation was blinding, and yet you suffered through it so you could feel Chan’s cum inside you, your abused core tingling as he pounded into you.

Finally after a few minutes he slammed into you one last time, filling you up with his seed. There was so much of it that it dripped out, past his length and your pussy. You’d never felt so full.

“That was...beautiful.” He groaned, resting his forehead against yours. The two of you breathed heavily, your chests heaving as you stayed in that position.

Staring into your eyes, Chan found something there which he hadn’t seen for years. He missed that look...he really did.

“You’re beautiful.” He mumbled, pressing a soft kiss on your head. You could barely reply, your words stuck in your throat. All you could do was stare at Chan in adoration, feeling helplessly in love as your heart pounded against your chest. Your mind was filled with persistent thoughts, but one seemed to be more prominent than the rest.

This wasn’t going to end well, was it?

***

Felix sighed when he saw the two of you cuddled on the couch, smiling to himself and shaking his head as he set his keys down. He’d known this would happen sooner or later.

At least now he wouldn’t have to deal with any more bickering. Yawning, he headed towards his room, right after switching the lights off so the two of you could lay in darkness.

An eventful day, for sure.

#bang chan smut #chan smut #skz smut #bang chan x reader #lee know smut #minho smut #skz x reader #stray kids x reader #bang chan imagines #skz imagines #stray kids imagines #lee know x reader #minho x reader #minho angst #chan angst

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downwiththemutantnjnjaturtles · 4 years ago

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We Met Within This Screen (final chapter, pt. 2, the end.)

part one here

A/N: Thank you guys for all of your wonderful comments and the love sent my way for this fanfic. I've had a great time writing it despite its rocky moments. I really hope this ending does it justice; I've never gotten to write a proper conclusion to anything like this before. It's the first time I've ever completed a multi-chapter work such as this, so I'm happy. 🍾🥂 Here's to finishing what you start, and enjoy. :)

Just shy of a half-hour later, he was finished telling the story. She had sat the both of them down on the couch, one on each end, and he explained in great detail everything leading up to current-day. Tales of the ooze, Mutagen, as he'd told her; the rat named Splinter, a man formerly known as Hamato Yoshi, who had fathered and trained them; and lastly, their mission. Be of service, protect the city; have a good heart. And Donnie most certainly had a good heart. He was not the outlandish figure she'd first saw and recognized him as. He was the guy she had come to know as Bo, Donatello, who was the same person she'd talked to this whole time. At some points of the retelling, he got excited to share some of their adventures. This came after their humble beginnings of struggling in the sewers. Donnie was happy to share after so long of dodging saying anything about his life.

She nodded along to this talking. "...and that's how we're here," he said finally, putting his hands on his legs. "Since we're here, any questions?"

She replied with a no, looking over at the TV that had remained on the entire time. Donnie stayed seated as she got up and got the remote, also glancing at the clock on the wall, which read 10:45 PM. She switched the TV off. Looks like it's time to go, he thought. He rose from the couch and fixed the pillow he'd displaced.

"Donnie, this has been...strange," and for a split second, his face fell, "but not bad! Though, it is getting late."

"Oh, no—yeah, no, I understand," he sputtered bashfully, activating the staff which collapsed back into its smaller form. He tucked it away somewhere on him.

For a moment, he simply stood there as if wanting to say something, but the words never found him. "So it's goodbye?" he asked quietly. The way he said it made it seem like he thought it was forever. But it was on until they figured out how to pick up where they left off after that night. Undoubtedly, things would be different going forward. He didn't know if that would be good or bad.

"Only until next time," she told him, a small smile present. He visibly relaxed. "You're still my friend, Donatello."

He smiled. "I knew that. Totally."

Showing himself out, he stepped onto the balcony, looking back one last time before he bounded away. He held up his hand and gave a small wave.

But she hadn't said bye yet, so he stuck around for a moment longer, though it was met with an awkward silence. He was beginning to go over the railing when she ran over to the door, stopping him. "Wait," she said, and he crawled back over the railing with a confused but curious expression. "I actually do have a question. Just one, before you go."

"Sure," he said, inviting her to go on. She had to look up to see his face being so close.

Tenderly, she asked, "Why'd you not tell me, after all that time? Would you have ever chosen to do this if it hadn't been for an accident?"

Donnie couldn't give her an answer on that.

He sighed, slightly shaking his head. "I couldn't, [y/n]. We've been through this."

"I only wanted you to trust me, Donnie," she responded. And that was, really, how she'd felt. Throughout their entire friendship, it had felt one-sided in that regard. Trusting but not trusted, but she hadn't any idea of what was truly going on, at the time.

Donnie pondered her question: If there hadn't been some kind of divine intervention, would he have ever had the chance to have something more with her than words on a screen?

He swallowed as she took a small step closer.

"I just wanted you to care about me." His volume was barely above a whisper. He clenched his jaw briefly, as if he was concerned over his own words. His golden-brown eyes wandered from your eyes on downward.

"I did—I do care about you, what makes you say that?" she questioned, puzzled.

He vaguely gestured at his body, "Wouldn't this be a little hard grasp over text? Isn't it hard to accept even now?"

Though she didn't answer, he had a feeling that he was correct about one of those things—she did have to wrap her head around everything. Tentatively, both watched as her fingers brushed against his own. His hand moved along with hers, seeing and feeling the delicateness. Until they laced together as well as they could, her heart steady while his was beginning to race. His hand even trembled ever so slightly. He would have wanted to stay like that forever, had it not been for the fact that he was uncertain where they now stood. Where he stood in your eyes. What did this mean?

Putting her other hand on his shoulder, she tried to conjure a smile. But it flickered out as she murmured, leaning into him, "Does this answer your question?" She had to stand on the tips of her toes, while his hand tightened in hers involuntarily, almost too shocked to bend down for what was coming. The one thing he hadn't accounted for in their meeting, not once—and it was happening.

He seemed like he was going to stammer something, but her lips closed the gap and planted softly on his.

There is no way.

There is no way this is happening—but I'm seeing it with my own eyes!

Donnie lost all control the moment her lips pressed against his. His hand squeezed hers, shaking as his heart pounded in his chest. I'm shaking. Why am I shaking?

His eyes which had been wide were now fluttering closed. For the better half of the kiss, every other thought beside the ones of her was ejected. He couldn't have pulled away, even if he'd wanted. He was hers completely. That was irrevocable.

It was only until she decided it was time to step back did they part, him looking at her entrancing face once more, and her swallowing heavily. That kiss had been something she'd dreamed of before. Never Knowing it would be held on the smooth, moist lips of a humanoid turtle, rather than those or a human man. In fact, she had to convince herself that she wasn't dreaming. Her hand slid down his shoulder and onto his chestplate. It was rough, almost possessing a grain under her fingertips. Her thumb rubbed the back of his hand. He thought he felt a tingle from the trail her fingers left.

Donnie was on Cloud Nine for a solid minute before coming back to his senses. "That...I…" he struggled to find the words. For a brain that worked so fast, he felt utterly slow, then.

She cracked a smile, face contorted into one of hope and a hint of embarrassment. "Is it too late to say that I've waited to do that for a while now?" she laughed.

"N-no," he said, still trying to organize his thoughts. "No, it isn't."

"Okay, good," she replied with a relieved exhale.

Her hand went from his chest to his arm, feeling the taut muscle as it traveled down. His hand enveloped hers while the other lifted, going to touch her cheek. "Does this mean…?" he trailed off.

"It means I really, really like you, Donnie. I have since we played that game."

He gently brushed her cheek with his thumb, "I really like you, too," he mimicked, voice soft.

Maybe even that was an understatement.

"I think I…"

A noise nearby alerted him, and on instinct, he set her behind himself on defense. Don't be an attack now, of all times, he thought, listening closely. He told her to be quiet and to not say anything, using his forearm to gently push her back into the apartment. He pulled out his staff.

"Sup dude and dudette!" an all too familiar voice beamed, the orange-banded turtle appearing hanging upside down from the balcony above. [Y/N] shrieked, and Donnie nearly bashed his brother in the head, sucking in a sharp breath as he accidentally backpedaled into her. Mikey waved and flashed a grin. "Don't worry, we didn't see anything...except for you two kissing, that was really unexpected!" He flipped down onto the balcony, and Donnie grumbled something, going in for a zap to his brother's plastron. Mikey dodged it, this time. Donnie tried again; unsuccessful. "Oop—saw that one coming," Mikey laughed, jovial.

Donnie groaned, half-embarrassed and half-annoyed, "Mikey, what are you doing here?"

Waltzing into her apartment, Mikey crossed his arms with a wink sent the human's way. "Michelangelo, wingman to the big special D right here," he introduced himself brightly, "but you can call me Mikey."

Donnie slapped his hand to his flushed face, hoping that he was the only one who noticed Mikey's less-than-classy wording.

"So you're all named after Renaissance painters?" asked [y/n], lifting a brow.

Exhaling, Donnie stepped between them, "[Y/N], this is Mikey, my brother. The one that—"

"Got you together!"

"—that got us into this predicament," he'd almost said, but he realized as Mikey said that, he owed their meeting all to him. It had all started with that talk they had had late that day, after patrol, and ended on her balcony, Donnie getting to experience a kiss for the first time. With someone he'd never imagined he would have ever been able to touch, let alone share something like that with. Yes, as much of a hassle everything up until that point had been, it was all thanks to Mikey.

Donnie grinned, turning to his brother and draping his arm over the back of his shoulders. "Yeah, you did," he agreed. Mikey smiled as he looked down at him with fondness. He wrapped an arm around Donnie's shell in return.

"You know it, brah. Oh, and I take cash or pi—"

"Don't push it, younger bro." Donnie rolled his eyes.

Waiiiiit a minute.

Mumbling for [y/n] to hold that thought, Donnie, suspicious, crept over toward the balcony. "We"?

Mikey tried to make chatter with her while he did so, mentioning how he liked what she'd done with the place.

He checked if the coast was clear first before leaning onto the railing on his shell, squinting his eyes. And he was not surprised at all to see Raph and Leo looking down at him from over the edge of the roof. Leo had his recognizable expression of: "You'd better wrap it up." Donnie drooped his shoulders and ducked back inside. Couldn't last forever, he thought. Despite whatever was waiting for him on the roof or at home, he could still smile on the day he'd had. He would be thinking about that kiss for weeks.

"I guess it's bye for real this time," he told [y/n], sad to go what felt like so soon, but really was content. The night could not have gone better. "I have to, you know, go get flamed by my oldest brother. Probably."

"We'll be in touch, Donnie," she replied. "Um...text me when you get home? Just so I know you got there alright."

Smiling, Donnie nodded.

Mikey budded in, "Hey, don't forget about me here."

Chuckling, Donnie headed for the door, taking Mikey but the upper arm along with him. They stopped one last time to waved to her before making their exit.

Leo and Raph met the pair at the top. Raph was the first to speak, asking skeptically, "And yer sure this girl is alright?"

"Positive," Donnie answered with confidence.

After a moment of trying to come up with some kind of remark, Raph let out a huff. "You got the nerve, I'll tell you that." He held out his fist ready for a bump, and when Donnie didn't immediately reciprocate, grumbled "Well? Don't leave me hangin', Don." Realizing what he wanted, Donnie went right in for the fist bump.

Pulling away, Donnie asked, "So you're not mad?" He gave some space between himself and the incoming Leo.

Raph scoffed lightly and shrugged. "I may not trust her, but I trust you," he responded, gruff as usual. "Just don't expect me to be all friendly and whatnot—I ain't doin' it."

"You don't have to do anything, Raph."

And then Donnie was face-to-face with Leo, who's intensely blue eyes were trained on him for a few seconds too long. Donnie wondered what he was thinking until he sighed, and then spoke.

"I'm sorry."

Behind Leo, Mikey was in awe.

"That's a new one," Raph chuffed. He left the circle to watch from the edge of the building. Mikey stuck around, but only far enough to be in ear shot. If something coming from Leo started off with a sincere "I'm sorry", he wouldn't miss it.

"Yes, you heard. I'm sorry," Leo admitted, bringing his eyes up from the ground. "I shouldn't have pressured you, Donnie. I know that you can handle yourself. I was just trying to protect you and our family," he explained, pausing to glance over at the other two brothers, "but…yeah. I'm sorry for pushing you, Don. I was kind of a jerk back there."

Deciding he didn't have any words good enough to say what he wanted to, Donnie simply pulled Leo in for half-hug, rocking him with him. Leo wore his lopsided smile as he gave Donnie's shell a slap.

"That...was…"

They stepped away from each other, staring at Mikey quizzically.

"...beautiful, bros," he finished in a whisper.

They stayed for a minute just watching the city go by, the clock ticking by later into the night. Donnie finally thought to ask Leo how Splinter was, because he definitely knew what was going down. He was a smart old man—and beside, Donnie had made no effort to pretend that wasn't what he was doing when he'd initially left. If Splinter knew, Splinter knew. He was still mildly afraid of Leo's response.

"You want the truth?" Leo questioned, his expression briefly changing to one of a cringe.

"I mean, I'd like to know what I'm in for," Donnie replied in an obvious manner.

"He was angry, at first. Didn't know you left until he was done with his talk with Mikey. Also surprised that you actually went through with it. But, after that...he seemed like he understood, in a way, I guess. I didn't ask questions. You'll have to confront him about it yourself, because he just sent me and Raph out to get you."

Donnie kept his eyes on the sidewalk below them, and the occasional person walking it. "And Mikey?" he asked, quizzical.

"He insisted," Leo groaned.

"You know I can't pass up an opportunity to see D get his first kiss!"

"Oh, shut up, you had no idea that was gonna happen. You just wanted to go because me 'n Leo were goin'," Raph argued, flicking his head. "Weren't you supposed to stay in by Splinter's orders?"

Mikey crossed his arms and turned away, "I don't have to take this abuse." He was, indeed, meant to stay behind. But the boy couldn't help himself.

Once the banter died down, they were left contemplating whether they wanted to stay out a little longer, or if it was time to turn in. It had already been a long night, but in honesty, Donnie wasn't ready to go quite yet. He still felt as though he had so much to say to [y/n], but he supposed that time had already passed. At least until next time, if or when that was. Raph took a break from his lookout and sat next to Donnie with a grunt. He wasn't good with mush or sensitive things, but he felt compelled to ask "What're you gonna do now?"

Donnie hummed in question.

"Well, she knows. And by the looks of things—erm—the look of one particular thing, you two are still goin' steady."

Ugh, they saw it. Donnie moaned, a cold flush coming over his face. I can't have anything private in this family.

Raph pushed him on his shoulder. "Ya shouldn't mack on someone by the doorway if ya don't wanna be seen," he jested.

"I don't know what's next, Raph," Donnie confessed. "We didn't exactly...make anything official after that."

Once they were back on the move towards home, they all dropped into the nearest manhole, but Donnie remained where he was, saying he would catch up to them. He was the fastest of the four, after all.

"I hope you're still awake," he mumbled to himself as he reached for his phone. They were close to home, anyway. And it was quiet. He typed:

"I'm almost home, [y/n]. All safe."

A couple of minutes later, she responded.

"Okay, that's good

Your brother is quite the character, by the way"

"He is who he is, lol"

"He seems nice though."

Walking down along the sewers, he took his time. What was a little longer after the night he'd had?

"Donnie, what were you going to say when Michelangelo interrupted us?"

He stopped in his tracks and thought, having nearly forgotten that he was going to actually say it. He didn't just like her—for the first time, he was sure he loved her.

"That I think I love you, [y/n]."

He regretted not saying it when he was with her, but he just couldn't wait.

There was a worrisome pause on her end in which he imagined she was staring at her screen thinking about how strong that came off, that it was uncalled for, that he was going too fast—

"I said I liked you

But that was not quite the truth

I love you, Donnie."

Golden-brown eyes sparkling, he let out a laugh, unable to contain his happiness, and the rest of the brothers smiled to themselves hearing the whoop of joy and excitement echo in the tunnel.

His adventure in love and friendship had started within a screen, but he was bound to it no longer. This was the opening of a new chapter in his life.

Tag list: @kokokatsworld @criminaly-supernatural @dianounais @spaceman-main @sheepdarkhours @raphaelsrightarm

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dinner-djarin · 4 years ago

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Next To You (Bucky x reader)

Just a little one shot I wrote after watching FATWS on repeat. (I tried to make it gender neutral but I may have missed something so I'm sorry if it's not!)

Rating: Mature

No use of Y/N

Word Count: 2.6k

Summary: Bucky is having nightmares, and you're there to comfort him. Based on the Julia Michaels song If You Need Me. (so if the ending sounds dumb go listen to the song you'll understand why lol)

Warnings: Fluff & angst I guess idk, kinda dark themes, because well it's Bucky. Just two people who have definitely been through some shit. Oh ya that reminds me swearing. Suggested that intercourse has happened but nothing descriptive. A little (a lot) about trauma but mostly about nightmares. If I missed something pls lemme know, I don't want anyone to feel triggered reading. But if you can watch the show and be fine, you'll probably be okay with this.

Also just letting you know if I put ~ its cause I switch the focus from Bucky to reader, but I'm not switching POV completely its all written in reader POV.

Every night brought pieces of the past. He never knew which memory would be dragged to the surface once he let his subconscious take over - clawing and scrapping against the walls he put up, begging to be let out; to be confronted.

Some nights were worse than others of course.

He wasn’t sure how he was ever going to out run the monsters of his past. For a while he just stopped sleeping. It may not have been a permanent fix, but he thought some relief was better than none at all. He used to go days, even weeks, without sleep during the war, so he figured it might be the best way to silence the past.

Dr. Raynor, however, caught on quick.

A lot of her methods seemed like bullshit to Bucky. He could tell she was genuinely trying to help him, but he doubted anything she had anything to offer him that would prove to be effective.

But at the end of the day she was definitely no fool. He had a tough time lying to her. She didn’t take anyone's crap, and that might have been the only reason he trusted her, even a little. It may have been the only reason he actually gave it a sincere try (besides the fact he’d be arrested if he didn’t).

So he probably shouldn’t have been surprised when she caught on to his sleep strike. In fact she called him out on it only three days in. He thought he’d get longer than that. Even so, he was almost relieved. After only 72 hours he already felt the nightmares slowly creeping into the day. Every time a door slammed or a car horn blared his body tensed. Every time he turned a corner he’d reach for a knife he no longer carried. So maybe it was better to let his past haunt his nightmares. That way he’d be alone when the memories took over. That way he wouldn’t hurt anyone else.

But he made a mistake. He did what he told himself he could never do. He let you get too close.

Falling asleep in your arms felt better than any therapy session he could ever imagine. It was the first time in forever he could remember what it was like to be his younger self. The version of him that marvelled at the idea of flying cars; who thought he could save the world by enlisting. The dreamy eyed boy who was hopeful for the future, who thought he had a future.

Lying next to you made him feel in control, like his problems didn’t matter. He was there to keep you safe, and warm, and comfortable. He never thought he’d feel like that with anyone. He didn’t think he was allowed.

You didn’t question his metal arm for starters. When Bucky took off his jacket, after the hundredth time you insisted - “It’s like 100 degrees in here Bucky, please take it off, you’re gonna melt” - he thought he’d instantly regret it. But you simply looked at it with wonder for only a moment, before returning your eyes up to his own. Staring back at you, he saw the wheels in your brain click into place. He could almost hear your thoughts as you decided what your next move would be.

In the blink of his eyes you tore your shirt off and stood completely still in front of him. For a moment his emotions were mixed, and he worried where your sudden advancement came from, but then he saw it. A thick white mark slashed across your torso.

You took only one step forward before speaking. “It’s not exactly… I know it’s not the same thing at all. But the scars - the marks we carry - they’ll be with us forever, whether we like it or not. Even if they remind us of the worst pieces of ourselves, or the worst moments of our lives, it reminds us that we can move forward. And it reminds me that there’s something to move forward to. I don’t know…it doesn’t really make any sense but somehow it’s almost comforting. To know that something will always be with us, till the end”

His mouth was on yours in an instant.

He had been hesitant to let anyone in. After coming back - after going through everything he’d been through - he felt like damaged goods. He worried that the minute he let himself be happy, everything would come crashing down again, and he had good reason to believe it. It just kept happening over and over. It seemed like every time he found even a small amount of peace, the battle made its way back to him.

But when he found you, when he felt you, he felt peace. The softness of your skin, the gentle wave of your hair, the light scrape of your fingernails against his back and chest, your quiet moans muffled by his own mouth on yours. Being with you made the horrors of his past melt away. Even when you clamped down around him and bit into his shoulder muscle, even when he knew you’d left marks all over his skin. Knowing they came from you made all the difference. They didn’t remind him of the wars he fought, or lives he took, or the atrocities he committed. The sting of your nails and teeth weren’t pains from his past, they were reminders of his present, of the possibility of a life he could have. With you.

But in the end he knew that it was all wishful thinking. He knew he wasn’t cut out for that type of future. He knew you deserved better.

So he decided to let you off easy, to disappear from your life, leaving your shared experience to the confines of your bedroom. A memory, nothing more. He knew he’d have to sneak away once you fell asleep, because that way it might not feel real. Everything that happened between you might disappear with him.

But then he fucked up.

He was waiting for your breath to even out, a sign he would take to mean you had fallen asleep, but after listening to the air rush out of your body, and watching your bare chest rise and fall, your hypnotic essence overpowered his will, and he fell asleep alongside you.

Only he wasn’t asleep for long.

Eventually the past caught up, as it always had a way of doing. Images, and sounds, and smells all came flooding back to his uninhibited brain - sleep made him an easy target. He was vulnerable to every torment he caused, and every mission he was forced to carry out. Tonight was no exception. His brain managed to sift through every wall he thought he had up, and trudge yet another painful memory to the surface. The image of himself taking life after life, cruelly and viciously. There was no remorse, no stopping him. He saw every crime lord and politician he was made to terminate. Until his brain moved away to a new idea. The image of a young woman. Innocent and pure. But in the way of his mission. The Winter Soldier spared none.

He woke up in a blind panic. His surroundings were unfamiliar. Something was wrong. Was he being held captive or-

“Hey,” you made yourself known to him, and he twisted his head back to see you sit up beside him. You were quiet, and a worried expression blanketed your face.

Is he angry, you thought for a moment? No. Your brain was tired, and it was slow to process. Not angry, scared.

You knew from the minute you saw his arm that there was more going on. You already had some suspicions, nevertheless you expected there to be something like this.

For a moment, the two of you stared at each other in silence. You watched him regain his breath, and you carefully shifted your legs to sit crossed underneath you.

His steel blue eyes cut through the darkness, pinning you down. You wondered what was going on in his mind, what he might be doing to regain his grip on reality. You knew this moment too well. The quiet. The darkness. The fear. Not sure of how to move forward.

You were scared too, but not of him - more like you were scared for him. You knew he must be going through something, and you wanted to be there to help, but you also knew that was easier said than done. “Being there to help” was a nice concept, but in reality - well things were generally more complicated. You didn’t know if it’d be alright to approach him, mainly because you were unsure of your role in all this. Were you really someone he wanted around when he was so obviously vulnerable? You’d never seen him so raw and exposed, like a wound you wished you could tend to, while also fearing that your interference could make things worse.

You knew he wasn’t going to ask for your help, you could see he wasn’t that kind of man, but maybe if you made the first step, and let him choose - maybe he’d let you in. So, you held out your hand and waited. After a moment, you saw him move, only slightly though. His eyes darted down towards your hand and he subtly lifted his fingers off the bed. But it only lasted a second. He froze again, hand hovering near yours, and that’s when you realized he had been reaching for you with his left hand. You had been wary to touch it before, you thought it was probably a sensitive subject. Something about the idea of touching his metal arm seemed more personal, if that was possible. Like only the most trusted people in his life might be allowed to… and maybe not even then.

You felt your own eyes drop to your lap, an almost nervous energy now emanating in the space between you. But just before you could drop your hand too, his fingers hesitantly entwine with yours.

You shot your eyes up to see his right hand grazing the palm of your left. As your gaze slowly elevated, you found your way to meet his own eyes, only to notice the very sudden change in them. Whatever fear or darkness hid their before had now melted away. You couldn’t place it, but whatever emotion he now held sent a chill from your core to your fingertips. A lump in your throat formed and for a moment, you thought you might never be able to breath again. The look in his eyes was almost soft, but with a hint of yearning. Fire was blazing through every nerve in your body, while a chill kissed your skin, making every hair stand on edge.

Feeling outrageously brave, you took your free hand up to his jaw and held him there, gently swiping your thumb over his cheek, and allowing your fingers to reach slightly past his hairline and to the back of his neck. You wondered if he could feel the raging storm of your emotions through your touch.

“You okay?” you managed to whisper to him.

“Nothing I haven’t dealt with before” his answer pierced your ears with a hard tone, refusing to let any vulnerability resonate in his voice.

You shake your head at him, wishing he wouldn’t play pretend. “Okay then,” you mumble, letting your hand drop from his face. But as it fell, Bucky was quick to grab it, and hold it with a gentle squeeze. When you looked at him again, you knew he meant it as a reassurance, trying to tell you that he was okay.

He couldn’t handle the way you looked at him. Like you could see every thought in his head. A knowing gleam in your eyes told him that you didn’t believe him, and you’d be right not to. He wasn’t okay. He never really was. There was so much darkness surrounding him, poisoning every inch of his life. But you. Your touch was gentle and your voice was kind, and even though he had just seen your scar, he couldn’t help but think your world must have been so much brighter than his own. Looking in your eyes, he almost wished he’d never met you. He was so afraid that his pain might infect you too, the only good thing he had left. He wouldn’t ever be able to forgive himself if he let that happen; if he let his past ruin your future.

He wanted to leave, he needed to get out, before any of that could happen.

He slid off the bed quickly, and made his way to grab his clothes, but before he could you grabbed his hand - his left hand.

“Please Bucky don’t.” was all you could say. But the way your voice broke, on the verge of tears, fear of being rejected, of being left alone in the dark by the only man you ever wanted to let in - it was enough to stop his heart. He stood there, frozen from your touch. You kept his hand in yours, and for a second you worried it was too much. You worried you betrayed whatever trust you had built with him. Just holding his bare metal hand felt more violating and revealing than the fact that both of you remained completely naked. But you didn’t want to pull away. You didn’t want him to think you were afraid of him, afraid of the fact his hand could pulverize yours in a second - because you weren’t. You’d felt his touch. You knew how gentle and caring he could be. And you wanted him to see it too. That he wasn’t defined by his worst fears.

You pulled your body towards him, kneeling at the edge and facing him, “You don’t have to leave.” you spoke softly, as if he might be spooked and run off if you were any louder. “You don’t have to push everyone away. Please don’t push me away… I-”

Before you could finish, he was crashing into you. His tongue invading your mouth, like he was trying to soak up your unsaid words. His hands held your waist in place against his, steady and strong, but there was still resistance in his fingers; a hesitance to use too much force with you. You could feel how he feared he might hurt you.

Slowly you leaned back, feathering your fingers over his shoulders to guide him with you, and when he hovered over you, you let them slide into his hair, grabbing what you could and leading his head down…

~~~~

You lay there in the dark with your head on his chest, listening to his steady heart, feeling the crisp sting of metal graze your back. And even though you knew it was ridiculous, all you could think about was how you wanted to keep him safe. The man was stronger than any other human being, and probably thought you were fragile and helpless, and needed his protection more than anything. But still, you wanted him to be okay. You wanted him to know he could be safe.

“I’ll fight them for you.” you whimper quietly, suddenly worried that Bucky may have already fallen back to sleep.

“Huh? Who- what do you mean?” his words stuttered and tripped over his tongue. His half sleeping brain was suddenly running a mile a minute trying to decipher your statement. Who were you fighting? Why would you need to fight them for him? Surely he was more capable of fighting anyone off. He should be protecting you-

“The monsters” you said a little louder. The words feel childish and awkward in your mouth, and once you said them, you wished to take them back. But you decided to push forward, “if you want me to… if you need me… I’m here”

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x you #bucky barns x reader #bucky x you #bucky x reader #fatws bucky #fatws #the falcon and the winter solider spoilers #tfatws #fanfic #post snap #marvel

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