#the idea that i apply and dont get in on the first try makes me want to crawl into a hole and die

[im-still-a-robot]

i think...you should make a neocities for your dnd character >:)

I am hanging this ask above my desk like homer simpson. By god I am going to struggle through the back pain and headaches to make this neocities for you my dear friend. Thank you.

[phagodyke]

SUDDENLY STARTED RAINING SO HARD WE ARE SO FUCKING BACK

[fable-x4]

Doing this because it makes me happy •Ꮂ•. Im making it difficult on all of you though.

1 note- I'll go drink water

10 notes - I'll set alarms to actually care for myself

50 notes - set up a daily productivity system so I stop wasting my time doing nothing.

100 notes - ask my friends to help me buy a skirt

500 notes - get a bra & a whole bunch of other affirming clothing !!!

1k - tell my dad that my gf is also trans

2.5k - ask my dad to address me by my prefferred name & pronouns 1k went pretty poorly, so I dont feel super comfortable making an attempt on this.

5k - try to get therapy/psychologist

10k - girl mode at all times (start actively wearing makeup/clothing/doing voice training around people at all times)

50k - try for HRT (0% chance) (also no guarantee on this one)

Asfgg. It feels surprisingly good to have a bunch of strangers who want me to be happy

I have now set up alarms for eating, waking up, and hygene related stuff. I seriously doubt we get to 500, but this has made me significantly happier •Ꮂ•

Doing some math... 25 notes in 4 hours. 6.25 notes per hour. 8000 hours or 333 days until this hits 50k. Hrt in a year ig.

Um. Wow. Its been a day, and we're almost at 300. Everything 500 & below was supposed to be things I'd do with minimal intervention. But now, we're getting to the scarier stuff. I am very intimidated, but also excited

My gf really badly wanted to be here when I buy some of the clothing, so the skirt will be this week, the rest of the clothing will be when she comes back from vacation

Saying that you're force femming me is so not allowed. This is unfair. You have no right to make me feel the ways Im feelingggg. Stop making me happy.

Welp. I told him about my girlfriend. And things went about as poorly as expected. He said that Im parroting what other people think. Slowly taking little parts of them, and applying them to myself. Specifically, being trans. He didnt even leave it to maybes. He said with certainty that I was copying everyone else. I know 9 trans people total. Only 2 of them are my close friends. Everyone else, Im barely aquaintences with. I should have told him that regardless of whatever theories he has, this has boosted my confidence massively. Slightly less excited for 2.5k notes. At least everything after that is very positive. And at least this lets me talk about my girlfriend for ages. I dont have to say her deadname through gritted teeth. Oh context. He already knows Im trans but was ignoring it.

I GOT A SKIRT!!!!!

Thank all of you so much. At first when I got the skirt, I was pretty intimidated by the idea of showing my legs. I thought everyone will just see me as a man. But there's a degree of confidence you all have given me. Yeah. Im pretty. Yeah, Im beautiful even. Yeah. Its a friggin fantastic skirt. And anyone who thinks otherwise is dumb. Im happy, and thats what matters.

[fakevalentine]

gurl the idea of Ellie taking you for a jog as an excuse to gill u up with water. making sure u stop to drink plenty during the jog and definitely after. I just know once r has drank enough, Ellie would pushing push on r's tummy and twase them. "You gonna piss urself babe? really?" jusy push and push on r's tummy

female reader x ellie williams

"gotta stay hydrated, baby."

is what ellie said. what she insisted on, filling one of those obnoxiously big water bottles with motivational phrases to the brim and constantly reminding you to take gulps as you jogged along the neighbourhood together.

for your health, of course... stay hydrated...

you were totally fine at first. but the more you drank, the more fuller you feel. and suddenly, you cant keep up. you cant hold it.

you call out behind her, the empty street making your voice echo. "els, i cant anymore." you whine, slowing to a stop. ellie huffs a laugh that you fail to hear in your distressed state.

she halts and turns to look at you with a very unimpressed look.

she sighs dramatically, slamming her feet against the pavement as she walks slowly towards you, eyeing the now empty water bottle in your hand. "you giving up on me already?"

you groan, squeezing your thighs together in hope to ease the pressure in your bladder as you shake your head. "no, i just," you look around the, thankfully, still empty streets, and then back at her. "i need to pee..."

her expression is playful and unserious, and you just frown. "oh, you need to pee?" she thinks its kinda cute, the way you shift your weight uncomfortably and bite your lip.

her hand strokes up the side of your thigh, "how bad?"

"bad, ellie. can we please go home?"

she hums, looking down to where her fingers now toy with the waistband of your pants. "oh dont be like that, baby. we're getting our exercise, right?"

you dont realise that shes fucking with you, all you can focus on is trying to not to wet yourself outside— three streets away from home.

"just hold it."

you furrow your eyebrows, "hold it?" you shake your head. "i cant. please ellie."

maybe she would of if it wasnt so entertaining, took you home and watch you disappear to the bathroom like an honourable girlfriend. but wheres the fun in that? instead she lays her hand flat against your abdomen, pushing down on your tummy

your breath gets caught in your throat and you reach down to grab her wrist, the sudden pressure taking you by surprise.

you scold her, warning that if she does that youre gonna pee. you certainly dont want that, but maybe ellie does. maybe this was the plan all along— of course, that has yet to click in your head.

she just laughs at you, "whats wrong, huh? you gonna piss yourself, baby?"

youre humiliated already, your face rising in temperature at her teasing. you whimper, nails digging into her tattooed forearm as she applies more pressure on your stomach, no sympathy in her green eyes

you cant ignore or deny the warmth that floods your cunt, but you can certainly feel ashamed of it. oh, but youre confused. why does the embarrassment of soaking yourself give you a rush? why do you want to give ellie what she so clearly wants?

and how could you ever deny ellie williams?

[1800-lemonadeg1rl]

Sleepless nights

Natasha Romanoff x reader

Minors dni!! Masterlist°•☆

Summary - you go on a routine mission which ends badly how will your girlfriend react

Warnings - gunshots, violence, bullet wounds, mention of stitches, likely medically incorrect, blood, hospital? Not proofread

word count - 1.5k

A/n - I dont know what happened while writing this its all a blackout. As always any feedback is rlly appreciated!!!

It was just supposed to be another simple routine mission. Over and done with in a matter of hours. But of course nothing was ever as easy as predicted.

It had all been going with relative ease until you and Clint were fighting off agents left and right. Something you were usually both good at. However where you'd found yourselves was very much enclosed meaning you couldn't run and you had no idea how many or where these agents were coming from. Your backs were against each other as you moved in circular motions around the room.

"You did this you know, everything was going just fine until you said 'wow this mission has been quite the breeze.'" You mimick Clints earlier words in a squeaky high pitched voice while taking out a couple agents. "Couldn't have just waited till we were on the quinjet could you?"

"Look I really thought it was over. At least I wasn't the one who knocked over the vase alerting everyone in the Tri-state area of our location." He pipes back as you both fall into the usual bickering banter you often did, squabbling like small children. You and Clint had always been close and worked well with each other despite the constant pecking at each other. You'd become even closer once you'd gotten together with his best friend Natasha. Well, after he stopped threatening you about breaking her heart that is.

"Okay well atleast I'm not stupid."

"Yeah real mature. What does that even mean?" He retorts back with a chuckle at how quickly you begin to lose an argument and just throw childish insults at him.

"I thought you'd be smart enough to understand a simple senten-.." You trail off as you see an agent aiming at Clint, one he hadn't noticed. Though you considered letting the agent hit him and getting to be considered the better fighter it wasn't worth letting your friend die just to one up him.

"Clint watch out." You yell frantically as you watch the agent take aim. Clint wasn't going to have time to move. You panicked and shoved him to the floor knocking him from the bullet.

You don't think much of it when you don't see the bullet land or even when you vision blurs. It's only you notice somethings up when you see a blood splattering on your hand. Instinctively you look for Clint worried something hit him but you find him staring right back at you. That's when you feel the searing pain from your hip. Placing a hand over it to find out what's wrong, you feel a cold and wet substance spilling from it.

Thats when everything starts spinning. Moving too quick but not fast enough at all. The pain feeling worse, like nothing you've ever felt before as the adrenaline wears off and the severity of the situation sets in.

"Y/n look at me." Clints voice is grounding and calm making you briefly feel better. "There's no agents left okay. We're going to walk together to the quinjet, don't rush yourself it's going to be okay." You nod along even though your unsure you'll be able to walk that far as your vision fades in and on like a flickering TV.

He moves over to you and presses your hand firmly over the wound. "Keep your hand there and apply as much pressure as you can." Despite the way you stumble around as you try to apply any pressure at all to the wound he still sounds calm like he believes you can do this.

His hand hooks around you helping hold you up as the two of you begin a slow walk back. Things aren't looking too bad at first I mean sure you can hardly see infront of you an everytime you open your mouth to speak the only thing that sounds is a groan of pain but your managing it, you feel yourself believe you'll be able to do this walk back.

That is all before you trip over a stone which sends you tumbling onto your front, directly where the bullet wound is is where you hit the hardest when you fall causing you to scream out in pain with a noise you never knew you'd make. Clint immediately tries to pull you back to your feet while telling you how close you are to getting home but it's no use as your body goes stiff, legs refusing to move.

"Natasha is gonna kill me." I mumble half heartedly as he holds me up and my vision fades for what I believe might be the final time.

"Not if she kills me first." He chuckles and that's the last thing you hear before everything goes black.

Two days. Two whole days they said you were out for. You missed two days. Two days where you didn't see Natasha but she saw you, she sat by you every minute she could and when she couldn't sit anymore she slept by you not leaving for a second. She wouldn't even leave your hospital room for food. Clint having to practically force food down her throat so she didn't end up in a hospital bed alongside you.

You blinked awake. You'd been awake about an hour prior but were too drugged up to process anything going on and had quickly fallen back into your slumber. This time you were much more determined to stay awake, that and your pain medication was wearing off and you could begin to feel a sharp pain replacing the previously dull one.

As you woke yourself up to the bright white fluorescent lights of the hospital, those lights which practically felt blinding. Giving you little time to adjust to being awake, Natasha started speaking.

"So what happened?" She sounded angry. A little rough maybe as the Russian tinged her accent slightly in a way you only heard few times. As you located where her voice had come from, a small chair just to the left of your bed. Now that you could see her she seemed more worn out or stressed out the angry. Dark circles lurked under her eyes as her forhead creased showing visible lines.

"Uh.. didn't uhm.. Clint... tell you." You slowly mumble out as you try to push myself into a sitting position but before you can Natasha is up and pushing you back down to lie down.

"The doctor said you can't sit up yet or you'll move the stitches. And no he hasn't explained anything, so you better." She lays your head back on the pillow with such a contrasting softness to the way she's speaking which is almost as if she's interrogating you.

You roll your head over the side to face her as you recount what you remember from the mission. "So basically me and Clint, well especially me are kicking ass knocking these agents to the ground. But then one aims at Clint and I push him out the way and now we're here." You explain the best you can but it's just so difficult when your heads all fuzzy and until five minutes ago you were convinced you were dead. "I thought I was gonna die 'Tasha."

"You shouldn't put yourself at risk like that baby." She says while brushing stray hairs away from your face and back behind your ears. "Things could have been a lot worse.." her voice trails off all usual roughness gone as she appears as if she may break down crying at any second. "I could have lost you."

That's all it takes for you to start crying as hot tears stream your face making it hard to see anything. Seeing your deteriorating emotional state Natasha makes the descion to crawl into the bed next to you. "Oh hush now, it's alright. I was just worried about you lyubov." she coos while leaning over to kiss your dampened cheek.

"I know I know.. I'm just really sorry... I dont ever want to lose you Natasha." Your tears keep falling despite her soft, reassuring words.

"Y/n, I don't want to lose you either. Which is why I think it could be time we retired before either of us do. Of course it's up to you though, I won't pressure you."

It takes you a minute to process her words but when you do your glad for them. You'd been considering at least cutting down your workload recently but hadn't considered Natasha would be open to retirement at such a young age. You can feel your face break out into a small smile as she suggests it herself. Her own face is one of nervous apprehension as she chews on her lip.

"Yes. Please I want nothing more than to retire and with you." You reach in to kiss her face eagerly. Your lips smothering hers in an almost desperate fashion as if you were worried it could be your last.

"If this is what retirement is like I cant wait." She whispers as she pulls away from your lips, nipping them gently first. She cups your face in her hands before leaning back in.

[darealsaltysam]

I JUST GOT BACK FROM SEEING DUNE PART 2 AND HOLY FUCK OH MY GOD HOLY SHIT HOLY FUUUUCK I NEED TO. I NEED TO. I NEED TO TALK SO BAD HOLY SHIT

below the cut because oh boy do i have a lot to say and i dont want my poor followers to suffer when i post this

oh my god okay okay where do i even start

opening with irulan's narration to mirror her notes in the openings of the chapters of the book. oh yeah baby. i ate that right up

watching paul get close with the fremen,,,,, fucking hell that hurts. dune really is a tragedy at the end of the day huh. they go from reluctant allies to friends but the whole time you know the switch will happen any moment now and they will be devotees and he will be messiah and that gap between them will never be as small as it is out in the sand. huddled in those tents. sharing drinks and laughs. im not doing ok

this especially hurts with chani. their love is so genuine and pure and she wears blue for him (which by the way sticks out so much more with how muted the colors of the rest of the movie are... i could talk about this all day) but she can see what he is becoming and he's trying to avoid it for her so hard but there's no avoiding fate. LORD ABOVE!!!!

i loveeee jessica being the manipulator thats pulling all the strings, urging paul towards becoming messiah. rebecca ferguson is such a talented actress she really understands the character so well. also as a hashtag certified alia atreides enjoyer her scheming with her unborn fetus might be the most unhinged thing ever but thats also so fucking funny aka its as dune as it gets. dune is WEIRD and im glad theyre not shying away from that. thank u denis

arrakis looks so much more beautiful in this movie like theres defo been some changes with how its framed and presented it feels so much grander and idk just ??? what it makes me think is that we're not seeing arrakis, we're finally seeing dune. we're seeing the land as the fremen see it as paul becomes one of them. i might be looking too much into it but who cares. god i love this movie

but yes more on the fremen in the first section of the movie. i like how there's this cluster of non-believers almost?? its a nice breath of fresh air. its hard to believe every single person would be just devoted to the prophecy and it adds some depth.

i will say the one thing i didnt like is the way stilgar is characterized?? i dont think he was so blindly devoted to paul in the books, and definitely not alia and leto ii after him as the atreides line went on. he's always been a source of small doubt towards paul but i think they're moving that element of him onto chani, so i think i can let it slide. i'd like to see him question alia more in the future though.

the scene where paul was named muad'dib and usul??? god it was so cute which made it so heart wrenching. all the fremen coming together and welcoming him into their lives. as a brother. as a friend. only for him to turn around and make them all bow before him. ohhhhh i cant do this

OH BOY THE WORMS THE WORMS AND THE WORM RIDING AND THE AHHHHHHHHH OH LORD

jesus christ. what the fuck. how is this allowed on cinema screens how is something so amazing allowed

the tension. the effects. the sound design. the sand rushing past the wind the worm moving forward paul struggling to hold on the fremen all watching and then cheering him on HOLY FUCKKKK HOLY FUCK I WAS HOLDING MY BREATH

all the worm riding scenes were so intense and so well done like. when i first read that stuff in the books i didnt think anything could ever capture how i imagined it exactly and yet. AND YET. DENIS!!!!!!!!

once more dune hits the idea of scale SO well everything is HUGE and they MAKE YOU FEEL IT. that shows especially with geidi prime but ill talk about that in a bit. but yes this applies to the worms too lord above them WORMSSSS ARE HUGEEEE AND I LOVE THEMMMM

rebecca ferguson put her heart and soul into that water of life scene and we all need to thank her for it

the way jessica is so quick to switch up and go all in on the prophecy. it makes me think of leto's "im not asking his mother, im asking the bene gesserit" like. the bene gesserit really come first for jessica and she takes her opportunity to fulfill her duties. to be the reverend mother. to rub it all in the faces of the other bene gesserit. she is the mother of the messiah and by god will she make everyone well aware of that

okay. okay okay. i think i said my peace on the early fremen stuff. i think. okay fuck okay SHIT fuck SHIT

FEYD FUCKING RAUTHA LADIES AND GENTLEMEN

oh my god okay. okay ill admit it. i doubted austin butler. i saw the cast list and i was unsure(tm). i saw him in the trailers and my faith was restored. and holy fucking shit did he DELIVER

stellan skarsgård's baron harkonnen is already such a threatening figure it feels like it would be impossible to make someone even more terrifying and yet. AND YET

just the way he's introduced. killing servants with zero remorse. LICKING THAT KNIFE THE WAY HE DID??? OKAY WHORE. I SEE YOU. GO RIGHT AHEAD. MAKE IT SLUTTY IN HOUSE HARKONNEN. I RESPECT IT

when the arena doors open and that loud ass fucking music BOOMS. makes the room fucking SHAKE. thats a PRESENCE right there. THATS how you introduce your antagonist.

the music playing as he fights being as fucking deranged as he is. chaotic and weird and unsettling. just. oh my god feyd had such a presence from the moment he showed up and he did not lose it for a single second. you could feel him LOOMING over the movie the whole time just as he looms over the whole book from his very first scene. oh my goddddd oh my godd

GEIDI PRIME. THE ARENA. THAT MASSIVE HARKONNEN PALACE. oh my god. once more. that sense of scale. the harkonnens love to flaunt their wealth so ofc they have huge fuck off arenas and castles where everything and everyone feels so SMALL in comparison.

dont even get me started on the black and white. the way it accents those coal black teeth and mouths. the way it makes everything look so much more inhuman and clinical and PERFECT because harkonnen power is so absolute and ruthless.

and the way the baron sits so so high above watching the fighting. literally impossible to picture his elevation above his people above the rest of the universe. the way feyd looks to him for approval after every movement. even as his uncle is trying to kill him they exchange those little looks and feyd knows hes getting his chance to show off while the baron gives him his "gift" what a fucked up family what the hell

speaking of fucked up family! wow! they are SO fucked up! there is something seriously strange being hinted at with feyd and the baron! feyd making his own brother bow and kiss his boot! those constant threats of death against rabban as if theyre nothing! this family is capital f FUCKED up. they hurt each other as much as they hurt everyone around them. theyre made of violence and blood and they could never show each other kindness because they dont know such a thing

what can i say about the feyd/margot scenes that hasnt been said already. like wow just unpack the boy's trauma like that. use him and then throw him to the wolves. once again the bene gesserit make it so clear this is THEIR empire and THEIR bloodlines and THEIR messiah. too bad jessica doesnt see that collective "ours" and instead settles for "mine" when it comes to the messiah

special shout out to dave bautista before i move on. just cause. his rabban doesnt get enough love. he really sells that balance of ruthless power but also incompetency compared to his brother so well. can you guys tell i REALLY like this cast

WE ACTUALLY GOT TO SEE GURNEY PLAYING THE BALISET WE FUCKING WIN Y'ALL

the paul/gurney reunion being the last shred of the old paul. how he gets so happy "i recognized your footsteps, old man" shoot me in the fucking brain stem it would HURT LESS

a bit off topic and it happened earlier (sorry my thoughts are so all over the place) but i like how they actually showed the process of how the water of life is made. it was actually exactly like how i imagined it when i read the books so thats neat !!

anyway. back to the horrors.

i already talked so much about feyd's presence so just another small note. that scene in sietch tabr. he is a MONSTER and i am EATING IT UP

i cant even begin to explain. how much it fucked me up. when paul took the water of life. i knew thats where we were going. i knew it was unavoidable. and yet still. when chani bent over him and screamed at everyone for making him follow this prophecy. when she was forced to shed tears to save his life. when she got him back only to realize she lost him and he wasnt the person she loved anymore. it broke me

chani's utter hatred for the prophecy and what paul is becoming added to it so much. i know some people are unhappy with how much shes been changed from the books but i think its elevated her character and all these scenes so much. and oh my god does zendaya DELIVER when the spotlight is on her. i never doubted her for a moment but all those changes to chani really allowed to let her shine. thats that euphoria acting coming out baby !!!!

SPEAKING OF GOOD ACTING

TIMOTHEE

FUCKING

CHALAMET

listen i hate the fact that he gets cast in everything these days as much as everyone but hes such a talented actor and i cant deny this anymore. the water of life scene really sold it for me.

he was such a perfect paul already in the first movie but this was the moment it really came out. the way he wakes up so calm and collected. lifeless. monotone. theres nothing theres literally nothing

paul atreides the boy who became duke far too young is dead usul who was the lover of chani is dead muad'dib the fedaykin fighter is dead only the kwisatz haderach remains and thats what the prophecy was always leading us to and yet the moment it happens its so haunting

like i cannot say this enough. that complete switch is so sudden but so subtle at the same time. its still paul technically but hes so different

what makes dune's weird concepts so easy to take in once you get into the book is all that internal monologue that really leads you through these complex concepts slowly. and yet in a few shots and a few lines of dialogue timothee chalamet somehow manages to express the idea of "i just learned the secrets of the fucking universe and im about to start a holy war" ???? HOW DO YOU EVEN DO THIS???? HOW ARE YOU THIS TALENTED???? OH MY GOD!!!!!!!! IT WAS A FEW LOOKS A FEW MOVENTS JUST THE RIGHT TONE OF VOICE AND THATS HIM!!! THATS HIM BABY!!!! THATS THE KWISATZ HADERACH AND THE UNIVERSE IS FUCKED !!!!!!!!!

also. anya taylor joy alia. we only had you for a split second but i cannot wait for you. im sure youre going to completely slay the third movie. give us our beloved tragic meow meow. alia is my fave character so i will be JUDGING HEAVILY. she better bring her a-game istg

when paul storms the war council and just completely takes control of the room so easily. thats the bene gesserit conditioning giving him his pedestal and he is making the most of it. he knows exactly what the fuck hes doing. and once more oh my goddddd all that shouting all that emotion and yet a complete lack of it. timothee spare a crumb of talent for the rest of us

also the way in that scene gurney is hesitant about it all until paul proclaims himself the duke of arrakis. and suddenly gurney has house atreides again and he doesnt care what chani does anymore. hes a follower to paul just as everyone else in that room. nothing changes. fuck me man i cant do this anymore

have i mentioned yet im so excited for chani in the next movie. her arc is so interesting. children of dune is defo not happening with the way chani has been set up so i doubt we'll see leto ii and ghanima but. lets hope we still get all the cool stuff wit alia at least. and maybe chani can be the one who leads the charge against her

okay i need to really fucking. get along with it im dragging this post on im so sorry this movie is eating my brain alive

chani still wearing blue during the final fight. im not saying more than that i might cry if i think about it too much

THAT. FINAL. FIGHT. OH MY GODDD OH MY GOD

IT ALL CAME TOGETHER SO SO WELL

THE WORMS

THE SENSE OF SCALE

THE FIGHT CHOREOGRAPHY

THE MUSIC HOLY FUCK THE MUSIC HANS ZIMMER YOU OUTDO YOURSELF EVERY TIME

THE SOUND

EVERYTHING FLOWING TOGETHER SO WELL

the way the fremen fight for their messiah but still fly the atreides banner. the way paul leads them as their messiah and as a "fremen" but always proclaims himself duke of house atreides first. oh lorddd im unwell

every time paul menacingly emerged from fog/sand/smoke my life was extended by like 10 years thank u denis

gurney killing rabban with as much ease as he did cleared my skin and watered my crops <3

the way the baron was literally dying and still crawling towards the throne.......... the way at the same time feyd ignored him completely and looked towards the doors reveling in the fight ahead..... if that doesnt tell u everything you need to know about house harkonnen idk what will yall

i also love how no one intervenes as paul walks in and kills the baron. not even feyd. feyd looks like he was a little TOO into it as paul killed him tbh. feyd u little freak. austin butler you talented talented man. im unwell

i AM sad we didnt get to see baby alia stab him but ah well. we got a bunch of other weird dune shit so ill let this one slide. the psychic toddler may be too much even for denis and everything he did give us. we'll always have our 1984 alia <3

OHOHOHOHOHOHOH. OH. HERE WE GO

HERE WE GO YALL

THE SCENE IVE BEEN WAITING FOR SINCE READING THE BOOK

THE SCENE THEY SHOWED BITS OF IN THE TRAILER AND THE SCENE IVE BEEN NON STOP YEARNING FOR SINCE!!!

THE DUEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh my god oh my god oh my goddddd where do i even start

okay so. the way theres no music. no fancy cuts no slow mo no over the top effects. its just the slashing of the blades and those BEAUTIFUL shadowed shots with the setting sun in the background. this really is the sun setting on the peaceful universe. just pain and suffering ahead marked with the blood spilled from the two who were meant to produce the messiah but who both got thrown off this path by the greed and selfishness of their forefathers. guys im normal about paul and feyd. definitely. i definitely have very normal thoughts about how they are foils and yet two sides of the same coin. yes guys

paul making the emperor kiss his ring is already such an insane fucking scene and it translated to the screen so well. amazing performances all around

i didnt talk much about florence pugh's irulan but she really didnt have much time to shine. im excited to see where she goes next and i definitely think shes a great fit but i need to see more of her to really be able to say more

i will say this. the way chani, irulan and jessica are the only ones who dont kneel for paul. the three most important women in his life who give him his power, everything he has. jessica made him and she made him the messiah. chani opened her life up to him, helped him become and in turn control the fremen, and she shed her tears for him and fulfilled her role in the prophecy against her wishes. irulan is his path to the throne, his key to being emperor. and none of them bow before him because why would they bow before a power they are responsible for, a power they own, a power they gave?

but for chani its different ofc. she also refuses to bow because she despises everything paul stands for.

oh my god i could say so much about the last scene being chani. not paul reveling in his victory. paul leaves for his next bloodshed and chani is left behind crying for the person she loves who she knows is gone. crying for her people, again enslaved. crying those same tears that brought the messiah back into this world.

theres a lot to be said about the role of gender in dune and how it hangs over every facet of this world but thats a whole separate analysis post to be had so ill just throw it down here in this little point

another thing chani does very well in the movies is she really makes paul's villainy explicitly clear. SO many people read dune and completely misunderstand it and walk away from it concluding its a "white savior narrative" and nothing more which. yes!! yes it is!!!! but thats not a good thing!!!! its never stated to be a good thing!!!!

this movie is not gonna let you misunderstand the message of the story no matter how blind you try to be to it. paul is not a good guy. hes never been the good guy. hes the protagonist, but hes not the hero. and chani allows that to translate from book to movie very well. have i mentioned yet i love movie chani

chani fills in the holes left behind by the narration and internal monologues of the book and, bonus points, she holds the people who dont understand what dune is about by the hand and tells them explicitly "PAUL IS A BAD GUY!!! DONT IDOLIZE PAUL!!!! DONT WALK AWAY FROM DUNE THINKING ITS PRAISING PAUL'S ACTIONS!!!"

i think thats pretty much all i had to say. i might reblog with additions as they hit me but yeah i. i enjoyed the movie. so so much. i think i might watch it again sometime soon while its still in cinemas.

sorry for being unhinged hope u enjoyed my rants. kiss kiss night night <3

[slayingfiction]

How I push through writing when I don't feel like writing.

Here are some of the techniques that I use to help me write more often or more consistantly when my laziness/depression/anxiety starts to take over.

I watch TV. I don't do it with the purpose of zoning out though. I watch something popular and well-liked such as the LOR or Harry Potter to get new ideas on how I can develop my story and apply their in-depth world-building ideas to help develop mine. Without plagarizing of course!!!!

Zoning out and daydreaming. As I have mentionned before, daydreaming is a huge part of my story outlining and world-building process. I'll stand in the shower, or take a walk and think about how my charcaters would act/react/behave in situations, mundane or not. Doing this gives me a better sense of my characters, and sometimes gives me ideas for scenes I use later on.

Work on writing related projects. These work well at keeping me distracted while still being productive on my writing goals. Example, I have one story I am working now, I made a new language (alphabet and numbers included) to include as a cool and fun component for the book. So, at times when I don't wan't to write, I continue creating the dictionary (very fun, 8/10 would recommend). Also, for the same book, my characters don't work off the Georigian calendar and 24 hour clock, so I've been working at creating a new calendar (harder than it seems, 2.5/10 dont recommend). These are side projects that help my story, without having to write.

Reading. You saw this one coming, I know. Reading is great, especially when you're editing, your writing style will unconsciously change to be more similar the author you were just reading. Also, most importantly, I'll be reading and think, "this story is really good, but you know what story I like even better? Mine." then change to writing.

This one is my biggest life saver!! I learnt about a year ago that sometimes I'll get bored of writing a story, and have difficulty keeping on track. That's why I finished my first book in 2016 and just started editing the first draft last week. The solution for me was to work on multiple projects at once, because it was much harder to be bored of multiple stories. I stick to 2, but will sometimes add a third. This is easy for me, because I have a list of over a dozen series I want to write. Don't abandon one project for another, use them as a distraction/ motivation for each other, so you're always furthering at least one project. I've never heard someone say, "oh no, i accidentally worked on this other writing project for three months instead of the other writing project I was doing. Dammit." No, we're just happy we have written something. Be sure to have well outlined story lines before starting, don't just start writing randomly or you'll reach a point where you don't know where to go from there.

Author/ writer projects. Maybe this is building a following, or community to share your projects and engage with. Tumblr, Insta, Reddit, whatever it is. My hope this year is to start up my website to offer publishing services (editing, graphic design, short writing courses) and build a following as a writer. (See what I did there? Never a bad time to self-promote ;) ) Having your own projects like this will help you in the future when you're going to try to publish and sell your books!

Talk with friends and a writing community. Never underestimate the passion that will burn inside you when talking about your story, or when others are talking about theirs. Surrounding yourself with a positive writing community can be the best thing for you as a writer.

Write or read (your story) every day. I'm not going to be one of those people that say you need to write 1000 words a day, that's a lot. But maybe try for 100? That could maybe only take 5 minutes, and at the end of the year that's still over 36 thousand words of a novel. Or just read your story, and I've always found it helped me get in the creative mood.

Make a playlist of songs that remind you of your characters, your story, or just puts you in the mood to write. Then play it ONLY when you're having trouble writing. Playing it while writing will not help, you'll get annoyed with the songs.

Just really can't do it today? That's okay, take a break. You deserve it. There's always tomorrow.

Does anyone else have ways they push themselves to keep writing? Let us know in the comments!

Happy Writing!

[twopoppies]

Sorry to go back to Bg but I'm convinced Louis team was intending to let it fade into irrelevance until nobody remembered it until B's sugar daddy exposed her and he/his team did what they always do and overreact instead of using it and backdating the whole thing they went in the opposite direction and pushed to try and cover up the fact he had nothing to do with the kid for years. ( just like with larry,, there was no reason to do all that it just made people more interested in them) all they've done with it is made a bigger mess that's going to be MORE sus and make MORE people look deeper into everything when it finally ends or more likely gets exposed (disclaimer: i dont want him to be exposed it's just the fact is the bigger the lie the harder it is to keep 🤷‍♀️)

Yeah, I agree that Boobgate seemed to be the turning point. I don't think it was entirely an overreaction because they could have course-corrected if so. They haven't yet and it's been two years at this point. I really think there's some kind of legal issue he's trying not to get caught in. There's no way Sony would take the fall if the truth came out. It would all fall on Louis.

I'm not an attorney, but from what I can understand, falsely claiming to be a parent on a birth certificate can lead to serious legal consequences. At the federal level, there is no specific law criminalizing falsely signing a birth certificate, but this type of fraud can have various legal repercussions based on state laws.

False Information as Fraud: In California, knowingly providing false information on a birth certificate is considered a form of fraud, and the state may impose both civil and criminal penalties. California law treats falsely establishing paternity as perjury if done knowingly, which can be a felony with significant fines and potential jail time.

Paternity Presumption: In California, when a man signs a voluntary declaration of paternity, the law presumes he is the legal father. If he later claims he is not the biological father, he may face legal complications, especially if he signed the declaration while knowing he was not the biological parent. Depending on the state, this can be classified as a misdemeanor or felony offense with penalties including fines, imprisonment, or both.

Federal Involvement in Fraud Cases: If the false claim is part of a larger fraud scheme involving benefits, such as falsely claiming dependency benefits, federal charges could apply. For instance, fraudulently claiming a dependent on tax filings (if connected to a fraudulent birth certificate) could lead to charges for tax fraud or other federal offenses. I doubt Briana is filing taxes claiming Freddie as a dependent, but Tammi and Brett may be. Or Louis might be required to do it but isn't. I have no idea, but it's something to think about.

Consequences Beyond Criminal Penalties: Falsely signing a birth certificate can also have serious civil repercussions, especially in cases where paternity or custody rights are contested later. Courts may impose penalties, order repayment of child support or benefits fraudulently obtained (ie: requesting government assistance), and adjust parental rights or responsibilities (would this affect who has the right to care for Freddie and make decisions concerning his well-being?). Additionally, Louis' ability to keep his US Visa (thus being able to visit/tour/work in the US) could be compromised if he were found tp have committed fraud.

(If there are actual Family Law attorneys out there, please correct me if I'm wrong)

This is not to say he is stuck forever. But I think he needs to establish that he THOUGHT he was Freddie's dad for a long enough time to then have a DNA test and prove that he's not, but he can't appear to have known the whole time.

This, IMO, is why fans are better off just shutting up about it right now because constantly pointing out the pregnancy discrepancies, or how much he didn't do in those first five years, probably makes things more difficult for him.

[hazelvrr]

Chapter 1: The fair

S/n: As promised here's chapter 1, let me know if I should continue with this fic as I've never written a full fic before so I might be rubbish, also it's not proofread but any mistakes should only be minor. No use of y/n. I tried to capture their personalities to the best of my ability but they are so funny that they're also extremely difficult to write. I tried to not repeat any scenes from the movie, they still happen unless I mention them differently but I didn't want to sound like a broken record.

Summary: you get ready with pj and josie for the fair and they question your friendship with hazel and then you see her at the fair.

Warnings: none

Word count: 2.1k

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The fair was the one thing you looked forward to at the end of summer. Pretty much everything else about summer ending absolutely sucked but at least there was the fair.

Every year as soon as August rolled around, you were counting down the days until you could ride the ferris wheel, get cotton candy and most importantly, see hazel for the first time in 3 months.

Your 'best friend' hazel, if you could even call her that, volunteered at some charity or association of some sort all summer every single year without fail, so you couldn't see her for 3 months straight, which always drove you crazy.

You weren't quite sure why, after all, it was the same with pj and josie because they were away at some abstinence camp for the youth or as pj called it 'an anti sex cult run by a bunch of jealous old nuns who dont get any and are trying to ruin her life because shes hot as fuck' (her words, not yours) so you didn't see them either but you couldn't care less, so why were you so bothered about not seeing hazel?

Either way, you were super exited about this year's fair and had decided to get a ride from josie (only because you were embarrassed to tell anyone cool that you had failed your drivers test 5 times over the summer and had acctually managed to get yourself banned from the local dmv from 'assaulting your driving instructor' which you only did because he totally had it in for you) so naturally you thought it was a good idea to get ready at her house with her and pj.

BIG MISTAKE.

You should have known that pj and Josie, being the horny pervs that they are, spent the whole evening scheming about getting the cheerleaders attention, and how they were planning on getting possibly the straightest teenage girls you had ever seen in your whole life to fall head over heels for them.

Absolute losers.

You were so used to their antics that your brain had completely tuned them out as you applied your eyeliner, sitting beside pj, faces pushing eachother out of the way to fight to look in the tiniest mirror on josies desk.

You had stopped listening after josie had started ranting about the size of Jeff's penis, you were planning on stuffing your face with corndogs in less than an hour, and that was really putting you off the idea, that was until you heard josie say your name.

"Soo, have you spoken to hazel since school ended?"

Pj looks over at you with a shit eating grin on her face, "what she means to say is, have the two of you fucked yet?"

You roll your eyes at pj, not even dignifying her with an answer and turn your head to face josie, who was now stacking snapbacks on her head whilst looking in the mirror.

"To answer your question, yeah we've facetimed a few times and texted a lot."

"Oooo phone sex," pj giggles, "kinky."

You just flick pj in the head and begin applying your lipgloss.

Josie picks up one of the snapbacks from the floor and launches it at pjs head and instead misses and knocks over the mirror.

"Dude what the fuck." Pj hisses, standing up to go over to josies closet door to look at her outfit in the full length mirror, posing and checking herself out.

"Seriously though, when are you going to make a move?" Josie asks, backing away from pj and going to sit on the bed.

You look at her with a confused expression, "what do you mean, we're just friends."

Josie cocks her eyebrow and smirks, "please, you've been in love with her since 5th grade, you know it, I know it, pj knows it, pretty much everyone in a 10 mile radius can see it, except for hazel herself since she's an oblivious dork, but that's besides the point."

You go to answer but pj comes back over and sits back down next to you and you take the opportunity to escape and use the bathroom.

You take your time in there staring into the glass, turning your body around, checking that your hair is straight, your makeup looks good in natural lighting, oh and that your cleavage is poking through your tank top just enough, for no particular reason other than looking hot for yourself (well, that's what you told yourself anyways).

As you open the bathroom door to return to josies bedroom you hear pj and josie whispering, and being as nosy as you are, you press your ear up against the door to listen to what they're saying.

"Shhh she's gonna hear you" josie hushes.

"Shut up no she's not, that bitch couldn't hear a rocket land if it landed on the roof."

"How much did you say you wanna bet again?"

"50 bucks. If by the end of the school year they haven't fucked, I owe you 50 bucks, but if they have, you owe me 100."

"How the fuck does that work, why do I owe you double?"

"Because I'm fucking awesome... okay because I'm broke as hell and am gonna need the contribution for my homecoming dress so I can look sexy for brittany, duh."

"Yeah yeah whatever, its a deal, I think she's coming."

You once again roll your eyes at how pathetic they are. You swear to god that if you spent any more time with them than you already do, your eyes would permanently be fixed in the back of your head.

"Hey guys, you ready to go it's almost 8," you suggest as you open the door, "josie, what the hell do you think you're wearing?!"

"What do you mean?" She looks down confused at her spiritual playboy shirt, 5 carabiners hooked onto her pants' belt loops and her arm sling on her right arm.

"You look like dyke throw-up," pj cackles, standing up from the desk and following you both out of the bedroom door.

Josie looks back at pj as you're all walking down the stairs, "pj you can't say anything, look at you, you've got suspenders over your nipples like a goddamn freak."

Pj flips her off from behind her head and you can't help but giggle as you follow them out to the car and hop in the backseat.

"How'd you break your arm again josie?" You lean forward and ask as josie turns the keys and reverses out of her driveway.

"She flunked out of anti horny camp and fell out of her bunk rubbing one out," pj replies casually, looking down at her phone that displays brittanys Instagram posts from the summer, "fuck, she got even hotter over summer, how's that even possible?"

"Is isabel in any of the photos?" Josie questioned desperately, sneaking a peak down at pjs phone as she pulls up to a red light.

"God you're both pathetic."

You finally arrive to the fair, granted you're 20 minutes late because josie circled the parking lot at least 10 times as pj yelled at her to just fucking park, but josie wanted to make sure she could find a big enough spot.

You hand over your tickets and walk in, they're both muttering about something or other but you're not really listening, you're just scanning for hazel until you feel a tap on your shoulder and nearly jump out of your skin.

"Hey guys," hazel smiles, bringing you in for a hug, "long time no see, wait.. pj, josie, you never come to the fair?"

You point over at isabel and brittany standing a few feet away, where they had been gawking at them for the past 5 minutes.

"Ah, I see," She nods, I haven't seen you In ages I've missed you."

"Yeah.. me too," you blush, looking down at your shoes.

"Oh shit what happened to josies arm?"

"Masterbating."

"What, is her vagina made out of concrete or something?"

"No what? Hazel, she fell out of her bunk," pj scoffs.

"Can everyone please stop talking about my vagina?" Josie interjects.

"Soo hazel, what's this I hear about you volunteering at a slop farm?" Pj questions.

"The national meat association? Yeah it was good," hazel replies, "so did you guys get up to anything crazy over summer?"

"Yeah we killed this girl at camp for snitching on josie, got arrested, taken to Juvie and spent the rest of summer there, nearly died but they let us go when we told them that we're dykes and called them homophobic," pj explains sarcastically.

"What?! Are you guys okay?"

Josie facepalms.

You were about to explain that pj was being sarcastic when you hear cheering and you all look over to see Jeff appearing with the rest of the football team.

You all exchange disgusted looks and then pj notices that isabel and brittany are walking in your direction.

She snatches your corndog out of your hand and hands it to josie and then takes hazels cotton candy and hands her a wad full of tickets. Her and josie anxiously keep swapping the corndog and cotton candy mumbling to eachother until isabel and brittany are standing right infront of you all.

Josie drops her corndog, well actually YOUR corndog and kicks it away in hopes of isabel not noticing but both isabel and brittany look down and watch her do it, then look back up at her and raise their eyebrows.

"Hey can I uh, get my cotton candy back?" Hazel asks as she reaches forwards towards pj to grab it, but instead is hit in the head with it by pj who just ignores her and takes a bite out of it.

You look at hazel and shrug your shoulders, jerking your head to turn her attention back to the disaster of a conversation going on between the four of them.

"Oh hey, didn't see you there," brittany says to you poking her head round to look at you, "how's your summer been?"

"Yeah it's been good," you reply, "looking forward to cheering again though I've really missed it, what about you guys?"

"Yeah, I've been practicing all summer I'm really looking forward to getting back into it!" Isabel smiles, stepping forward.

The conversation goes on for a painful amount of time, every second making you want to gouge your eyeball out with a fork as you just make ridiculous faces at hazel, who just looks back at you the same way before giggling.

You went to follow pj and josie out to josies car when hazel quickly follows, "I can drive you home if you want, your on the way and I doubt you want to listen to another second of them babbling on about isabel and brittany."

"Yeah that would actually be great, thank you."

"No trouble at all," She says, "plus, it's an excuse to speak to you, we haven't had much of a chance to talk tonight."

She pulls out her car keys and unlocks her car, of course its a range rover. Her mom gave it to her as a pity gift when her dad left which obviously didn't fix the issue but hazel didn't complain and just accepted the car, even though she wasn't old enough to drive at the time, which her mom forgot because she barely pays any attention to her own daughter.

The drive is only 5 minutes long, since you live so close, so you don't get long to chat, but she tells you all about the meat association and the cool tshirt she got to wear, even showing you a photo when she pulls up on your driveway.

You lean over and give her a hug, "see you at school tomorrow?"

"Wouldn't miss it," She grins, "meet me outside to walk in together?"

"Wouldn't miss it."

Once you had kicked off your shoes and lazily removed your makeup, you got changed and plopped onto your bed.

Tonight was so chaotic yet for some reason you weren't thinking about pj and josies funny attempt at flirting or how they had made complete asses out of themselves, only about the drive home with hazel, how her hair blew in the wind, framing her face perfectly, how her hand gripped the steering wheel as she reversed out of the parking lot and how her eyes practically lit up when she was talking to you about her voluntary work over the summer.

You try to sleep but instead you lay awake for hours staring at your ceiling thinking about it. You simply cannot get her out of your head.

Huh. Maybe, just maybe, you did like hazel callahan? No. Surely not. Unless...

[fordpinesthemanyouare]

Ford x Fem!Reader

Math Assistant Pt.1

Summary: Ford needs himself an assistant, Stanley makes an online post for him and BOOM there you are, coming to meet him for an interview at the diner.

Warnings: Erm... this is a nothing sandwich I THINK. Please let me know if I should add something

A/N: My brothers in christ please this is my first fic that I wrote on a whim, I had an idea and I started writing. I have never written fan ficiton in my life so pls be nice... also who up wit dey werm to Stanford Pines HOOBA HOOBA!!!!! Okay also I want to write SMUT for this so imagine this is like the really really really long winded plot to the porno. K thanks bye read if u want or dont i dont control you.

——————

Ford shook his head at Stanley who was seated in front of a new computer now placed in the living room, “I’m still confused on why we should be posting the ad listing “online” rather than the local paper, or putting up flyers around town.” Ford used air quotes for emphasis, he still found the whole idea strange, he liked the computer for being a tool he could use to further research. He didn't like it so much as a vessel for finding candidates for a job he was offering, the thought that he had no idea who was communicating with him unsettled him a bit. Especially knowing the kind of work he was going to be having this future assistant… well assist with.

“Because yer never going to find someone with the qualifications yer asking for in this town” Stan looked over his shoulder at a crossed arm Ford. “Hiring someone for a summer job who has a PhD in Application Math, whatever that means-“

“Applied Mathematics, Stanley” Ford interrupted.

“Whatever it is you're not going to find that here, you and fiddleford are probably the only people in this town to actually have a college degree” he said with a chuckle, turning back to the computer. He was clicking around on some website that Ford had never heard of, let alone just recently finding out what the internet was. “I'm setting up a job listing on some of the local college websites, ya know for people that are studying or just done studying”. The clicking of the mouse and the typing of keys continued as Ford ran the motion through his head, overthinking perhaps every outcome of Stanley posting that job listing. Ultimately though Ford knew he was right in that, no one with at least a degree in Applied Mathematics was going to be residing nearby.

“Just please be careful about the information you include in this job posting, try to keep it minimal as possible. If they ask more questions about specifics you can let them know that I can explain in person.”

Stan looked over his shoulder, his eyebrows slightly downturned with a smirk rising on his face, “I didn’t realize you had hired me to be your assistant, you're going to have to cough up if you want me to do this for you”. Ford groaned in annoyance of his brother, “Stanley you know I don’t know how to use any of that”.

“Exactly why you're going to want to have me help you out with this”, Stanley moved his arm to drape across the back of the chair he was in, looking more directly at him. “That’ll be twenty dollars”, he held out his hand expectantly at his twin. A beat of silence passed between the two as they had a small staring contest, both men’s brows furrowed at the other.

Ford finally reached for his back pocket after he felt he had glared at his brother enough, he slipped a twenty dollar bill from the leather wallet and practically slammed it in his hand before walking in the opposite direction without a word. While Stan on the other hand, was more than beaming when he saw Ford’s hand fall to his back pocket, Stan half shouted as Ford strode out of the room.

“You’ll thank me later when I find the perfect candidate!” He laughed as he said it and returned to more clicking and typing around the website.

Ford returned to the lab to finish up some things before the kids were scheduled to get there later in the month. When they returned from the long months at the ocean, Ford wanted nothing more than to work on something in his lab again. He loved feeling the anticipation of a project becoming something, but of course he knew he could easily get carried away. After Dipper and Mabel left last summer, before Stanley and him were going to head out, he had made a major discovery while working in the lab. He had discovered an atom that was capable of recreating a direct clone of itself and in as many atoms he could count. He continued to work on the project until Stanley was practically dragging him from the house to leave to sail around the world.

While sailing towards one of their final destinations at the end of the trip, Ford finally opened up to Stanley about his worries of falling into the same pits as before. He was worried that he would become too involved, as he already felt himself doing as they were leaving for their trip. He also desperately needed some alone time from Stanley, but he didn’t mention that to him while they were on the boat.

“What if you hired someone to help you with the project?” Stan had offered a possible solution, while he had sat in the boat looking at Ford who was deep in thought over his dilemma. “I mean obviously the last time that happened, it wasn’t great either…” He trailed off after the look on Ford’s face became apparent, regretting the thought of his old college friend.

“I know the last time wasn’t great” Stanley pushed forward, “but maybe if you have someone hired to help with the smaller stuff. Things like using the calculator or something, whatever the small stuff even is to you” he said the last part under a fake cough which earned him a glare from his brother. However, the idea wasn't… terrible, Ford thought. He pondered over the possibilities of having someone helping him out, along with having the two kids upstairs to bother him. If he were to have someone who he didn't have to know that well take on most of the minor details, the equations and such, he would be able to prioritize the best parts of the project while also having time for his family. At least, that’s what he had hoped for when Stanley initially offered the idea.

“That could be a good idea…” Ford said after taking several moments to ponder the possibilities. “I would need someone who could do advanced mathematical equations, with room for equations that could possibly extend what they know…”. Stanley just looked at him deep in thought, wondering how there could be that many things to think about, the answer seemed clear to him.

Back in the lab, Ford could hear Stanley groaning loudly about some ‘unknown error message’. He continued to monitor and take note of the atoms under his advanced microscope for a while, waiting until Stanley had further news of any postings. He wondered what his new assistant would be like, if they could have the same passion for knowledge and understanding as he does.

———

A few days had passed, Ford falling into old habits quickly, holing himself up in the lab for hours upon hours. The only time he was seen over the last 48 hours was to grab more coffee from the kitchen, he caught naps in between work, falling asleep over his piles of scrap paper filled with numbers and letters. Ford had not anticipated how much mathematical reasoning was going to follow the atom cloning discovery, he was falling behind on moving forward with more discoveries on the atoms, but over hundreds of miniscule details that needed solving kept him at the desk. Stan walked down on the 49th hour of Ford’s lock down in the basement, opening the door noisily and making as much noise as possible on the way down to let him know he was on the way. Ford was scribbling away on the nth page of scrap work, crossing out failed attempts of solving equations as Stan broached the lab floor.

Stan awkwardly cleared his throat at Ford when he didn’t turn around, even though Stanley was sure to have made enough noise on the way down. Ford turned his head over his shoulder, his body seeming to not want to move from the space it had cramped into. He raised his eyebrows in a questioning manner, as if asking ‘What? Im busy’. Stan gave a huff of annoyance before starting,

“I have about 3 applications that I thought were worth looking over, most of the idiots who applied didn’t even have math degrees. All they see in the listing is free housing and they flock like birds trying to claw their way in” he said with a slight chuckle. He strided over to Ford’s desk, as Ford leaned back finally interested in what Stan was saying. He took the papers from Stanley and began to look over them. He began thumbing through the few resumes, looking over each one carefully noting that all three people had at least some qualifications in mathematics. He looked up to Stan and gave him a tight smile.

“I appreciate you getting these for me, I’ll reach out to the ones I feel are qualified.” A beat passed between them, Ford paused for a second wondering if he should just return to work at this point or if Stanley had something else since he hasn't made any move to leave.

“I think the one on the bottom will be the best fit.” Stan said with a certain look in his face that Ford couldn’t place, as he turned to leave. Ford looked at him as he walked towards the stairs with a questioning look on his face, wondering what could have led his brother to place a preference on one of these resumes even though he didn't know what applied mathematics was. As Stan trudged up the stairs Ford called to his brother,

“I'll be sure to look at that one, thank you Stanley.” Which made Stanley pause and turn to look at Ford, a distant smile on his face as he nodded and continued up the stairs. Ford turned back to his desk and pulled the resume on the bottom up to the top, the header in nice bold letters a fine print used, he noted.

Y/N YL/N

He also took note that this was the only two-page resume offered to him, with the education list taking up most of the room. Several universities/schools were listed and his eyes read over the names and degrees that followed. He read all the way to the bottom where it listed your highschool with graduation dated in 1999. He noted this person was in their early 30’s with several bachelors degrees in several sciences, two master’s degrees in statistics and biology, and of course a Ph.D in applied mathematics. The latest graduation listed was University of Oregon masters program in statistics for April, which he noted it was now early May noting it would be fresh on the mind. He moved your resume to the back of the small stack, looking over the first two he skipped over, and honestly he wished he saved yours for last. The first two were jokes compared to the advanced knowledge you listed, he set the first aside after noting that the education list was no longer than a paragraph, and the second resume didn’t take long to set aside either as his eyes raked in the many spelling errors.

He read over your resume again looking for a way to contact you to set up the interview. He noted the phone number and email in the corner of the first page, and made to move upstairs to the kitchen phone. As he stood up however, his muscles almost molded into place from sitting at the desk, stopped him from moving further. He groaned as he began to stretch himself out, thinking about how he couldnt wait to stop looking at math problems for hours on end.

Heading back upstairs he reached the phone and quickly gazed at the microwave clock, 3:49 pm. He was glad it wasn’t later than five, as he picked up the corded receiver and began to punch in the numbers. The phone rang a few times before your voice fluttered over the phone, “Hello?”. Ford cleared his throat awkwardly, “Hello! Yes, is this Y/N YL/N? Oh it is, great, this is Stanford Pines calling about a job posting for the assistant position. I was hoping to set up an interview to discuss further details of the position.”

“I was just wondering if I would hear back from this offer,” the light voice on the other end laughed a pleasant laugh a little before continuing, “I’d love to join you for an interview regarding the position, I’m free anytime, anywhere this coming week and the next.”.

Ford offered a time for tomorrow at the local diner, which he provided the address to. The voice on the phone wished Ford a great rest of his night and that they would see him tomorrow. Ford wished them the normal pleasantries he hated to conduct while making mundane phone calls such as these. He was slightly relieved to find you weren’t completely strange, at least right off the bat. When he hung the phone back on the hanger, Stan suddenly spoke, causing Ford to jump from the lack of warning.

“So did you end up going with the one I said?” Stan looked smug as Ford met his gaze, knowing damn well he scared Ford on purpose. Ford rolled his eyes after he settled after the slight scare,

“Unsurprisingly, as you could probably assume. You shouldn’t have even bothered with the other two. One only had a few community college classes under their belt.” Ford turned to make more coffee, he figured he would stretch his legs now as he was planning on working on some more equations before the meeting tomorrow. Stan gave a hearty laugh, “She’s also quite the looker, surprised me when I was pulling resumes”. Ford gave his brother a look as he asked, “Can’t you make your picture anything you want online?”. He remembers when they got the computer last time the kids were here, Dipper had shown him how he had his profile for online DD&MD. He absolutely didn’t understand it, but Dipper assured him this summer he would teach him. Which would benefit him from not having to pay Stanley anytime he needed something done the modern way (this was not often).

“Yeah but this was on a college website, everyone has their picture I think. It looks all like student ID’s… Oh don’t look at me like that! I looked at all of their profile pictures. She just happened to have the best looking picture.” Stan finished with a shrug and a laugh. Ford had looked at him like he was crazy for looking through all the people who applied profile pictures before feeling the need to ask, “You did give me recommendations on experience, not looks correct?”.

Stan shook his head, “I know you would kill me if I passed on a math nerd over an actual good looking girl” he laughed, turning “I'm going to head out gotta meet some people, don’t wait up for me.” Stan said as he was walking out the door, grabbing the keys as he slammed the door. Ford shook his head and decided to take his brother's word for it, his mind replaying what his twin mentioned, “quite the looker” as if that could have any effect on anything. Ford thought he didn't care much at all for how a person appeared as long as they could solve these problems that's all that mattered, and maybe that they were decently pleasant to work with. He couldnt help but reflect back to the phone call, your light and airy voice filling his ear with pleasant sound, at least you didnt have a horrible voice and he could probably get used to hearing that voice more often, he thought. Ford filled his cup with coffee and headed back downstairs not giving the interview tomorrow much more thought than your voice on the phone.

—————

A/N: Yay I did it!!! yeah so what if its a nothing sandwich?? Didnt i literally say that before hand.. hope you enjoyed if ya read! <3

[pshbites]

LOVE ON AiR: 9. YNXOXO VLOG: night out w/ won & riki

WARNiNGS » profanity, manipulation, underage drinking (DONT!!), mentions of drugs & drinking, angry ynhoon

wc: 4k, if there’s typos IGNORE PLS 😞🙏🏼

video description: welcome back to my bubble! in todays video i started off with a cute quick grwm then vlogged my night out. unfortunately the video ended off on a bad note but tysm for watching! hope u come back ^.^

you prop the camera up on your vanity and smile. you wave, “hi guys! welcome back to my little bubble!” you spin your rotating shelf of products and reach for your primer. “today, i’m getting ready for a night out. won and riki said they’re 10 minutes away.” you look into the mirror, behind the camera and begin applying your primer.

“i’ve already changed into my outfit and done my hair as you can see. just need to do my makeup.” you smiled softly at the camera and reached for your foundation, showing it in the frame like a true beauty influencer. “i was talking with kat and giselle the other night and we came up with like a whole list of videos i should do” you began blending your foundation, taking to the camera simultaneously.

you had started vlogging around the same time the podcast started. at first it was just short vlogs but since the podcast started taking off you had gotten more comfortable around the camera so the vlogs started consisting of what you ate in a day, a typical recording day, day in your life and much more. soon enough your vlogging channel started taking off as well because people enjoyed the way you spoke to the camera as if it was one of your friends.

“oh my god i didn’t even say what we were doing tonight sorry guys” you laughed a little, blending out your concealer you had put on. “i’m sure you guys remember yeonjun, he was in my new years vlog” you paused, blending the area on your chin then spoke again. “well he’s having a party tonight so me won and riki are going. well me forcefully. sunoo giselle and kat couldn’t join because they’re doing other things. bummer right?” you pouted softly to the camera and looked back in the mirror, moving to the next step of your routine.

“kat and sunoo said they would meet us afterwards and im hoping so because riki was a mess to take home after the new year’s party” you shuddered at the sheer memory of new year’s eve and how much riki bothered you that night. “honestly im glad we’re going out because i haven’t seen won or riki aside from recording days.” you glanced once more at the camera, smiling. “between us, i think they missed me too” you giggled softly, looking back in the mirror.

“you know since we hit 600,000 subscribers a couple days ago, should i make a special video?” you furrow your brows, looking at your reflection then back at the camera. “you guys should let me know, if i should post that list of video ideas we came up with, some of them are pretty fun” you began setting your face, the translucent powder locking everything in place.

just as you were going to do your eyes, the doorbell rang then a series of knocks followed it. you looked at the camera and a smile grew on your face. “they’re here!” you picked up the camera, walking through the apartment and to the front door. you opened it and turned the camera to face jungwon and riki. “oh you’re filming already?” jungwon smiled and waved to the camera. “yep!” you peeked your head out from behind the camera and riki began laughing.

“you look so weird without your makeup fully done” riki blurted out, trying to conceal his laughter but failed miserably. you squinted your eyes and moved to the side so they could both come in. once riki walked past you, you slapped the back of his head making jungwon laugh. “hey!!” he shouted, rubbing the spot. you smiled at the camera once again, ignoring riki groaning in the back. “sorry guys, let’s get back to the routine!”

the three of you walked down to your room, you sitting at your vanity and jungwon and riki plopping on your bed. “yn how much longer is it gonna take” jungwon opened his phone, scrolling on it. “just about 5 minutes. guys did i give you guys a life update?” you looked to the camera, smiling as you put on your eyeshadow. “well, incase i didn’t basically i got this new hairdryer, no it’s not a dyson or a shark but it gives me the best blowout look”

you brought some of your hair to the front, showing off the curls. riki picked his head up, his interest piqued. “wait really? i’ve been needing a new hairdryer” you looked at him through the mirror and nodded “it’s in the bathroom” you mumbled, setting your face with setting spray.

“guys please invest in good setting spray because my makeup used to melt off when i didn’t have a good one and once i changed to this one it literally stays” you showed the setting spray in frame, once again like a beauty influencer. “i feel like i also got so many compliments on my makeup once i started using it” you mumbled, closing one eye to put on eyeliner and focused so you wouldn’t mess up. “i don’t know why but anytime i have like noise in the background i can focus on my eyeliner better, maybe i'm just weird but it really does help” you chuckle lightly at the sound of the hairdryer turning on in the bathroom.

“i think i say like way too much. kat also suggested a video where i count the amount of times i say like or something like that.” you paused and looked at jungwon through the mirror and the two of you start laughing. “you said like 4 times in that sentence!” he shouts out, laughing so hard his face turned red. “it’s such a bad habit!” you replied, trying to control your laughter so you could put on mascara.

riki emerged from the bathroom, now with voluminous hair and soft curls. “that hairdryer is amazing” he admired himself in your vanity mirror making you laugh. he spotted the eyeliner and picked it up, inspecting it like a curious cat. “you think i should put some eyeliner on?” he looks to you as you fix your hair, makeup now done. “i think the viewers would love if you and won put eyeliner on” you smiled at the camera, picking it up to record both riki and jungwon. “come on won get up!” riki slapped jungwons butt, making him groan and stand up to go to the bathroom.

you brought a makeup brush to mimic the eyeliner. “just shut one eye and glide smoothly, rub it out a bit so it gives that cool smokey eye look” you demonstrate with the makeup brush. both boys watching carefully. you record riki, him putting the eyeliner on with ease and rubbing it out, then doing it to the other. he looked at himself in the mirror and smiled as if proud of himself. “wait that looks so sick. riki do mine like that” jungwon gasped, now finally putting his phone down and his face in front of riki. “i just have to do everything around here” riki sighed jokingly and did jungwons eyeliner.

“riki i think you should be an mua instead of a twitch streamer.” you giggled behind the camera making riki glare at you. “i literally streamed one time and you guys can’t let it go” he sighed out, moving away from jungwon so he could look at himself in the mirror. jungwon smiled, ruffling his hair lightly. “don’t we all look good” you mumbled, behind the camera, looking at yourself in the mirror as well. the camera captured all three of you in the mirror. “i say we coordinated pretty well.” riki spoke up, you analyzing each of your outfits.

you wore a simple black minidress with detailing around the corset. riki wore a pair of grey baggy jeans as well as black shirt and a black leather jacket to go with it. jungwon brought in a pop of color with a red and black racer jacket with a black sleeveless top under, with a pair of black jeans. “we did didnt we?” jungwon smiled, looking to the two of you then fishing his keys out of his pocket. “shall we?” riki nods, the three of you walking out of the bathroom.

you flip the camera back to you. “luckily the drive from my apartment to yeonjuns house isn’t insanely far, so i don’t have to go yet guys.” you point to the camera, smiling. “i probably wouldn’t have shut the camera anyways” you laugh out, shutting the front door behind, locking it and matching your pace with riki. “yeah the camera is glued to your hand” “but you guys love it!” “.. yeah”

“you see guys riki acts like a menace on the internet but in real life he’s actually a really nice person. he’s taking best friend applications right now!” you angle the camera towards him and he laughs. “i am actually not. won and sunoo are my best friends” “not for long..” jungwon mumbled back, making you laugh and riki stare at him.

in the midst of your rambling and joking the three of you made it to the car. riki and jungwon in the front and you in the back. “you know everytime we go anywhere it’s war to get the aux” you flip the camera to show jungwon and riki slapping each others hands to get the aux cord. “you literally got it on the way here!” riki groaned out and jungwon snatched the cord from him, plugging it in his phone. “yeah well it’s my car. learn how to drive and maybe you can play travis scott” riki gasps, as if offended and you burst out laughing, flipping the camera back to you.

“no one really talks about it but sitting in the back is actually fun. because while those two are having their own conversations, i can sit back here and just mind my own business with my cute little camera.” ‘u got it’ by frank ocean starts playing in the car as jungwon begins driving. riki rolls his eyes at jungwon playing frank ocean once again but smiles softly. he loves it too. you look at yourself in the camera, fixing a hair out of place. “did i tell you guys about my apartment floor drama” you look to the screen and pause, as if an actual audience would respond.

“it’s kinda crazy because my apartment floor has this couple living on it and they have argued like every single day out of this week, like i see the girl burst out crying when she walks out. i feel so bad because they’re a lot older than me so i can’t really reach out or try and befriend her. it sucks though” you pouted softly at the camera. “besides that, the old lady on my floor is getting mad at some dude again. as always, living in apartments is not really that fun honestly. i still love my place though!” you sigh and smile at the camera, riki laughing a little at the way you talked.

“who wants to place a bet on who’s gonna get the most fucked up tonight” riki spoke up, you furrowed your brows. “is yeonjun in on this bet? because if so i think he would be�� the two boys start laughing and jungwon shakes his head. “i think riki will” “woah? rude!!” he exclaimed, putting his hands up. “don’t get me started on new years..” you mumble and look the camera, as if communicating with the watchers. “i think won will” you spoke up. jungwon furrowed his brows.

“i’ll throw a wild one, yn!” riki pointed at you and you laughed right in his face. “absolutely not” you scoffed and riki laughed. “yeah we’ll see” you glared at him, wanting to slap the back of his head again but refrained yourself. “well one of us is gonna have to be a little sober to drive home” “we could always crash” you shrugged making jungwon scrunch his nose. “yeah.. sure” he replied, making you giggle at his tone of voice.

“whoever blacks out first owes the other two a hundred bucks?” riki suggests looking the two of you and you ponder on it for a bit. “each?” jungwon asks, side eyeing riki as he nods. “fine, deal” you say, sitting back in your seat once more. you look the camera and widen your eyes a little. “guys the bet is between me and won, riki doesn’t drink” “you were recording?!” “sorry!” you yelled back, making jungwon burst out laughing as he pulled up to the house.

the three of you got out of the car and you looked at yourself in the camera once more fixing your hair. “well guys we’re gonna head in so i’ll pick up the camera a little later! see ya!” riki and jungwon wave at the camera with you and you turn it off. “don’t worry i’ll end it once we’re a bit too drunk” you looked to both of them and riki sighed as if in relief. “thank god i didn’t need a new years recap. you were evil for that you know?” you laughed next to him as the three of you walked closer to the front lawn.

after what seemed like the longest car ride ever sunghoon jake jay and heeseung arrived at yeonjuns house. “god finally.” jay mumbled, shutting the door and glaring at jake as he got out of the drivers seat. “hey if you didn’t want me to drive you should’ve said something” jake exclaimed, throwing his hands up. “not like you would’ve listened” jay replied, walking ahead of jake and jake looked at sunghoon, mouth wide open.

“cmon jake, he’s just moody” sunghoon shook his head, putting his arm around jake’s shoulder as the two of them walked to the front door. sunghoon didn’t want to be here. he would much rather be at the rink or watching a movie with gaeul. jake rambled on about something next to him but he wasn’t really listening. well he was but not entirely. he just wasn’t in any sort of mood tonight. as they entered the house his nose scrunched at the sudden smell of sweaty bodies, weed, and alcohol. what a great fragrance choice, sunghoon thought.

“heeseung! guys it’s been so long!” yeonjun approached them, dapping up heeseung. sunghoon smiled softly and nodded, all fake though. he didn’t really like yeonjun or his friends. they weren’t weird just a tad bit much. then again sunghoon didn’t have room to speak, he hung out with the same three people all the time.

“so when can i be a special guest on the podcast?!” yeonjun laughed, throwing his hands up. sunghoon and jake eyed each other then sighing and smiling. this was going to be a long night.

you turned on the camera and fixed your appearance a little. “hey guys! so we’ve been here for about an hour, no one’s blacked out thank god. right now we’re playing uno with soobin and beomgyu!” you turned the camera around to soobin and beomgyu who smiled and waved. “annnnd right now riki is winning! here i’ll prop up the camera” you smiled and set the camera down, propping it up so everyone was in frame.

as of now you had only 3 cards left and 2 drinks in your system. “yns gonna use the camera to cheat!” jungwon pointed at you accusingly and you scoffed, almost laughing. “am not!” you shook your head and looked at the camera. “i would never do that!” “that sounds like someone who would” riki laughed next to you and you pinched his arm, making him yelp.

“it’s your turn soobin hurry up” beomgyu complained next to him making soobin side eye him. “you know just because you said that” soobin placed down a +4 and looked to jungwon who only smiled and placed down another. they had planned this. “yn please say you have a +4” jungwon looked to you, making you pout. “ugh i don’t.. oh wait.. what’s this..” you fake confusion as you set down another +4 card. beomgyu gasped and looked at riki with worried eyes. the four of you stared at riki as he set down his last card, in anticipation and it just so happened to be a +4, resulting in beomgyu picking up 16 cards and riki winning the game.

“ughh fuck! you let him win!” beomgyu yelled at soobin making him laugh as riki cheered. “yeah but what matters is that you have 16 cards so i think we all won” you and jungwon kept laughing as soobin and beomgyu continued arguing, neither of them stopping for a breath. you picked the camera back up, trying to contain your laughter. “as you can see beomgyu lost tremendously compared to riki, speaking of how do you feel?” you pointed the camera towards riki who was still cheering.

he looked down at the camera and smiled. “i feel like life is finally worth living.. like i finally have a meaning. the haters tried tearing me down but it didn’t work. we are so back” “the haters should’ve tried harder!” jungwon yelled in response making you burst out laughing at how riki glared at him. just as riki was about to say something the three of your phones buzzed at the same time, most likely the group chat.

ONE NEW NOTIFCATION.

kat: where are you guysss, im in the backyard

you looked up and looked around to spot kat. you beamed once you did find her and the three of you started yelling her name. “finally” you shouted as she got closer, hugging you. “told ya i was gonna come” she let go of you and smiled at the camera, waving. “hi vlog!!” making you giggle. “riki just kicked beomgyu ass at uno” jungwon said as kat took a seat next to him, passing her a drink. “for the last time i was set up!!” beomgyu yelled back, groaning. “fine let’s deal the cards and play again!” she smiled, collecting the cards up from the table.

sunghoon watched jake’s poor attempts at flirting with some girl from the couch. he had to stifle a chuckle everytime the girl rolled his eyes as he rambled. “i don’t know why he does this to himself” jay spoke next to him, shaking his head. “it’s actually pretty amusing” sunghoon smiled, leaning back on the couch, swishing whatever drink was in his cup. “you’ve been off tonight. what is it?” he looked to jay and pursed his lips, as if hesitating to speak.

sunghoon was like that, he didn’t confide in people easily. for some reason he always found himself in this situation with jay, a hefty load on his shoulders. jay looked at him with anticipation because he had already known something was in fact bothering sunghoon, he just didn’t know what. sunghoon huffed out a breath and pulled out his phone. opening a certain chat and passing it to jay. “don’t get on me for replying” sunghoon mumbled, making jay furrow his brows as he read.

sunghoon watched jays expression as he kept reading, his eyebrows stuck in that same angry position. “what the fuck? why didn’t you say anything?” jay looked at sunghoon, placing his phone down on the couch. sunghoon shrugged, sighing as he threw his head back. “hoon don’t listen to her, she’s just trying to rekindle something that wasn’t there.” jays face turned to worry as he saw sunghoon just sitting there silently.

“yeah but what if she’s right. what if i am unlovable” sunghoon turned his head, finally facing jay. jay only looked at him. “you’re not, sunghoon she’s just trying to mess with your head. don’t let her” jay watched his friends face, how it changed to frustration after he said that. he knew after that breakup it was a dark place for sunghoon.

“yeah, you’re right. it’s just been on my mind i don’t know why. i’m sorry if im killing the mood” sunghoon sighed out, now suddenly feeling guilty for pouring his feelings out on jay, a common feeling for him. “it’s normal hoon, don’t apologize. now get up, im taking you home” jay stood up, patting sunghoons knee. sunghoon shook his head, “no i won’t ruin your night” “my night was ruined when i saw jake flirt with that poor girl. now get up man” sunghoon laughed slightly, getting up and standing next to jay.

“let’s atleast tell hee we’re leaving, i think he’s outside” sunghoon muttered to jay who only nodded, leading the way. sunghoon read the texts again, lagging behind jay. the words were etched in his head ‘you’re unlovable’ maybe he should change something. maybe he was doing something wrong.

just before he could look up, he collided with someone, spilling whatever liquid was left in his cup. “oh shit i’m sorry-“ sunghoon looked up from his phone to see you, drenched in said liquid. your friends stood behind you, just as shocked as you were. “i..” “you did that on purpose you dick!” you shouted out, trying to wipe away the alcohol on your hands.

“on purpose?! i literally didn’t even know you were here” sunghoon shouted back, eyebrows now furrowed in irritation. “yeah sure” you scoffed, shaking your head in disbelief. “are you stupid. i said i didn’t know” he replied, the same irritation in his voice. jay placed a hand on sunghoons shoulder, gripping it lightly. “okay hoon, just apologize”, he murmured in his ear.

“yeah for some reason that doesn’t seem believable, look just apologize” you crossed your arms, still glaring up at him. sunghoon almost wanted to laugh in your face. “apologize? you were in MY way!” “you were in my way! you probably did it on purpose too!” you shouted back, sunghoon groaning.

“the world doesn’t fucking revolve around you!” sunghoon shouted, a little louder now. loud enough for jungwon to step in between you two, you stepped back, quiet now. “there’s no need to yell man, now go.” jungwon glared at him, almost sizing him up. there was a notable size difference between the two. sunghoon scoffed, “fine” he walked past jungwon, shoulder checking him and leaving jay standing there.

jay laughed nervously as the group glared him down, scratching the back of his neck. “sorry.. he had a rough night. girl problems” jungwon gave him a half ass smile as if to say ‘okay.. go away now’ “yeah he didn’t have to be a dick about it. now can you move?” jays eyes widened at the boys bluntness and stepped to the side, letting the four of you walk away.

“you okay?” kat rubbed your arm as you guys walked towards the front door. “yeah just annoyed, ugh that guy is a dick” you grumbled, wiping away at your dress. “let’s hope we don’t have to see him again” jungwon mumbled in front of you, also quite annoyed by the encounter.

you weren’t as bothered as jungwon was, just a bit shocked. you didn’t like it when people raised their voice at you. it made you feel small, belittled almost. you didn’t like feeling that, jungwon knew that, all of them did. which is why he stepped in. he did that often for everyone, it was just his thing, protecting his friends.

the four of you reached the car, getting in. kat had ubered here so she was riding back with you guys. luckily everyone was pretty sober so going home wasn’t a problem. you sat in the front next to jungwon now, kat and riki in the back.

the car ride was pretty quiet, riki and kat in their own world and you and jungwon way too annoyed to even bother to talk. jungwon and riki dropped kat off first since her apartment came first then they reached your complex. you said your goodbyes (riki flicked your forehead) and went up, entering your apartment.

you pulled out your camera, realizing you hadn’t ended the vlog properly yet. you turned it around and fixed your expression, then hit record. “sorry i forgot to record in the car but that was pretty much it for tonight’s vlog! i’m just gonna take off my makeup, change then sleep. thanks for joining me today and be sure to like, comment, share and subscribe! till next time!!” you waved to the camera as you did your outro and blew a kiss.

previous masterlist next

AUTHORS NOTE » soooooo ummmm 😅 maybe ynhoon WONT happen as expected. anyways this is when the smau srsly starts taking off so u guys r in for some DRAMAAA. pls like n reblog luvs 💟

TAGLiST » @lqfiles @strawberrysavi @blockbusterhee @onlyhyunjin @purennn @jungkit @flwoie @imheretoread @firstclassjaylee @pinkishyng @luvgiselle @kang-ulzzang @cherryxbxmb @jkslvsnella @urslytherin @somerandomf1fan @i03jae @kittykangz @s0urcherry @istglevi-gotmesimping @hyuckies18 @seungwaitamin @taehyunnzly @luvvhaerin @brii-sunwoos-version @won4kiss @cheridiaries

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[erinscoolart]

i made a fakemon design prompter, and immediately rolled a single-type, no evolution, no special features normal type pokemon

so to kick it off and try to make myself feel better about rolling Basic Bitch(tm) right off the bat, here's Impossumble (based off of Australian possums n not oppossums dont @ me)

I've written the prompt generator steps below, in case it's not clear on your screens/for screenreaders. If you use the prompt generator, please tag me in it! I'd love to see what you come up with

#1 Special Features - d20

1-10 = Nil, go to #2 11-14 = Gender Variants, go to #2 15-18 = Starter Trio, go to #3 19 = Single evo/form legendary, go to #3 20 = Double evo/form legendary. Roll d2 or flip a coin to determine. 1/heads = multiple evolution, 2/tails = multiple forms.

#2 Evolutions - d8

1-3 = no evolutions 4-5 = 1 evolution 6-7 = 2 evolutions 8 = diverging evolutions. Roll additional d4 to determine how evolutions split. On a 1, pokemon splits at first evolution(i.e. snorunt, wurmple, etc). On a 2, pokemon has an unbalanced evolution tree (i.e. Salandit, which only evolves if female, or Applin, which can evolve into three different forms, but only Dipplin evolves a second time). On a 3, pokemon evolves twice, with the split occurring on the third form (i.e. Ralts > Kirlia > Gardevoir OR Gallade). On a 4, pokemon evolves once, but with many variants (i.e. eevee). Roll a d6 to determine number of variants (minimum 3).

#3 Types - d100

Flip a coin/roll a d2 to determine single or dual typing (heads/1 = single type, tails/2 = dual types). For diverging evolutions with dual typing, primary type should usually be the same as the first evolution, however secondary type should be rolled separately for each diverged evolution. For diverging type pokemon with single typing, feel free to roll for each evolution.

Normal = 1-15 Fire = 16-20 Water = 21-25 Grass = 26-30 Electric = 31-35 Ice = 36-40 Fighting = 41-45 Poison = 46-50 Ground = 51-55 * Flying = 56-60 Psychic = 61-65 Bug = 66-70 Rock = 71-75 Ghost = 76-80 Dark = 81-85 Steel = 86-90 Fairy = 91-95 Dragon = 96-100 Pokemon frequently gain additional types as they evolve, so if you roll dual typing, feel free to apply secondary type to evolutions only! * Notes on flying types, the vast vast majority are dual types. If rolling a single type pokemon and landing on flying, roll a d20. On a 1-8, give the pokemon a Normal secondary type. On a 9-18, roll again on the type chart (rerolling if getting flying or normal). On a 19-20, give pure flying type, congrats!!

If you're still stuck for ideas on where to go from here, try using a random animal generator or object generator for additional inspiration!!

Happy rolling, happy drawing!!!

[miafeystits]

re: that last poll i reblogged, one of the reasons i find both mpreg & a/b/o fic kind of morbidly fascinating after many years in fandom (despite not liking either) is how these kinds of fic often function as a way of mapping the tropes and gender dynamics of cis/heterosexual romance onto (almost always cis) m/m stories without going so far as to gender-swap either character

like, this is pretty obvious with mpreg centered on cis men, which is often just the application of common pregnancy-related romance tropes to cis m/m couples (note: im excluding depictions of trans masc pregnancy from my discussion here because i just think its a separate convo with its own nuances, and because i think much of the fic im describing here generally draws from ideas about cis men & women without much consideration for transness). however its ESPECIALLY apparent if you look at common a/b/o tropes in m/m fic. namely, the fact that an a/b/o universe is generally a world in which irl gender essentialism and the resulting sexual power dynamics between (cis) men and (cis) women are able to be applied to relationships exclusively between cis men-- with one partner being dominant, often physically stronger and aggressive, and socially privileged for this (perceived or real) biological superiority, and the other partner (who is generally the one able to bear children) being sexually submissive, weaker, and thus socially disadvantaged or oppressed as a consequence.

furthermore, something EXTRA interesting to me is that in this type of fic these power dynamics are very frequently not just social constructs (the way they are in real life-- pls dont misunderstand me and think im saying women are inherently biologically submissive to men irl or something), but rather almost always depicted as a biological reality within the world of the story. this type of au (at least in m/m dominated circles) offers a way of exploring and depicting what are basically misogynistic tropes without ever naming it as misogyny or involving women at any point. and i'm not trying to make a moral judgement here--i just genuinely find it very interesting that one of the main ways that misogynistic sexual dynamics (and, frequently, the violence resulting from such dynamics) gets explored in fandom spaces is through the development of an alternate biological and social reality in which cis men experience a mirror of those power dynamics, often turned up to 11 via in-universe biological essentialism. it strikes me as a way to engage with irl misogyny and its role within relationships with a certain amount of emotional distance, for better or worse. on one hand, it might be used to explore this imbalance of power without ever needing to depict misogynistic violence happening to female characters, but on the other hand also often offers a way to engage with romantic tropes steeped in irl gender essentialism in a way that is justified within the fiction of the universe and therefore do not need to be considered as critically

now i dont think this alone justifies this trope's existence or popularity (i'm sure a large part of its popularity is people just thinking it's hot tbh, which is fine im not here to judge), and honestly i'm not interested in litigating the question of why people write or read this trope in the first place, but i AM continually fascinated by the degree to which heteronormativity is able to influence what are ostensibly depictions of queer relationships

[kotarousdella]

NSFW!

idol!portgas d. ace x reader (female anatomy not pronouns used)

warnings: lovemaking, short nipple play, established relationship, slight choking

“you did so well tonight” you say as you pull him in for another hug.

you were comfortably placed on ace’s lap straddling his legs as his large hands squeezed the sides of your hips. it was the last show of the tour and the rest of the boys went to go celebrate while you two had some time to yourselves.

“just well?” he asks cocking an eyebrow.

you laugh, “you did amazing, spectacular, ten out of ten! as always.”

there was a small silence before he lets out a long sigh and pulls you in closer to his chest.

it’s been a strenuous show and moving from city to city without seeing you took a toll on him. all he wanted to do now was be with you and never leave. his head rests between your chest and you find refuge on top of his head, leaving small kisses on his dome.

“i missed you so much” you say in between kisses. “you have no idea.”

“i missed you too, baby. the second i saw you in the crowed i couldn’t keep my eyes off you.” you could feel him smiling on your chest. ace loves being vulnerable with you. he is silly on the internet and with his members but when it’s you two, the level of intimacy increases dramatically and its like the world doesn’t exist anymore.

it’s you and him, always.

you feel him shuffle a little lifting you up to place you higher on his lap. he pushes down on your hips making you feel his growing bulge in his sweats.

you hiss at the sudden feeling tugging on his hair slightly. “wanna feel you, wanna feel all of you” he says looking up at you with lustful eyes.

you snag the bottom of your lip, trying to hold back the moan that was developing in your throat. scared of releasing the hunger that was brewing in the air.

it wasn’t long until you gave in and crashed your lips upon his. it was something you haven’t felt in a long time and the urge to become one with him grew stronger.

the thing about ace is that he is very vocal. whether it’s with his company or with you, he will get his point across. the moans shared while teeth and tongues were clashing was no different. he needed you to hear how desperate he was, how much he missed you, how much he needed you.

and who are you to say no…

“please…fuck me.” you mumble against his lips, trying not to break the distance. his arms wrap around your lower back flipping you over with ease.

he gently lays you down onto the giant hotel bed and like clockwork he kisses you again. you couldn’t keep your hands off each other, nails gradually scratching at his back and his hands moving inside of your shirt, eventually taking it off. he moves from your swollen lips trailing kisses down, stopping shortly to suck on your neck.

his fingers reach your perked nipples and he applies pressure stimulating your entire body. you whimper out, digging your nails deeper into his back in response.

“my baby’s so sensitive” his voice deepened as he spoke into your ear. you involuntarily grind your hips against him trying to give yourself some relief when he takes notice looking down to where your needy pelvis meets his. he looks at your face and sees your eyes shut and eyebrows scrunched together.

he laughs, “am i teasing you too much?”

you open your eyes slightly and nod your head, “i don’t know how much i can take. need you now.”

“dont you worry, i got you.” he continues to undress you never letting his hands leave your body. his touch felt euphoric.

“you’re so wet, i don’t even have to prep you.” he smiles fingers gliding across your folds. you feel his tip at your entrance and he leans down to give you one more kiss before inserting his cock into you.

“ahh~ oh fuck!” you cry out.

his first thrust was deep and after he was going painful slow. he wanted you to feel everything. the time you spent apart was displayed by how good he was fucking you. the passion in his grunts. the sound of your moans.

it’s was all too much.

tears pricked at your eyes and he must have taken notice since he leaned down to you, hands gently gripping your throat and licked your tears away.

“you’re so pretty when you cry for me.” he says.

“i love you so much. missed you so much.” you babble that phrase almost a million times.

the tears kept flowing. “i love you so fucking much. shit- pussy was made for me.” he starts to move faster, hand still on your throat, giving you kisses here and there. his other hand reaches to rub your clit. making your legs shake.

you felt the coil in your stomach coming loose. “i’m so close baby!”

“mmh cum for me my love. you can do it.” with the way your walls clenched around him he was close to cumming too.

he watches your eyes roll to the back of your head with your mouth wide open. he knew you were peaking. the sight of you made him finish too. releasing every single drop inside of you without a second thought.

the only thing you would hear was the sound of both of you trying to catch your breaths.

the stickiness between your thighs and the smell of sex that filled the room was enough for you to sit up slightly. he pulls his now softened cock out of you watching his cum leak out of your cunt. it was an image he missed so much.

“fuck maybe you should go on tour more often.” you laugh catching your breath.

he cracks a smile. “maybe i should. c’mon let’s take a bath. it reeks of good sex in here.”

[kya-is-kool]

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ 𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐊𝐒 !: okay so i'll say it again just to prevent confusion, i have a hc that fuckshits real name is aaron, so reader might be calling him that

𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: fuckshit sneaks through your window after getting in a fight seeking your comfort, and for you to patch him up because god knows he couldn't do it himself

you find your eyes growing heavy as they desperately try to chase each word on the page of your book. you're so close to finishing it, but can't seem to find it in yourself. "i'd better go to sleep," you say, to no one in particular. you turn off your lamp, letting the moonlight spill into your room as the only source of illumination. suddenly, there's a tap at your window. then, there's another tap followed by another and another and...you finally get out of your bed, determined to put an end to the tapping noise.

"what the hell?" you utter. once you reach your window, you look down to find fuckshit, pebbles in hand. he looks up at you, and gives a half smile. your brows furrow, as you open the window. "what are you doing here? it's nearly twelve in the morning, dude."

"i know i just..." he trails off, getting lost in the attempt to find the right words. "is there a way up there?"

"aaron i don't think it's a good idea," you say, looking out the window cautiously making sure none of your parents have noticed and investigated.

"please, [name]." you think about it, and how could you really say no?

"alright, fine. there's a ladder on the side of the house." after a few moments of waiting, surely enough he returns with the ladder, fearlessly climbing up. you help him inside, even though there isn't much light in the room, you're still able to make out the dark bruises littering his body and his bloody nose. you rush to the lamp, and turn it on before going back over to the boy.

"what the hell happened to you?" you ask, concern laced in your tone. you place a hand on his cheek, studying his face making sure there are no dire injuries there apart from his nose.

"those fuckin' idiots were talking 'bout you, ma. i dont know where my head was at but i just started..hitting them," he admits, looking down, and leaning into your touch just a bit.

"aaron, baby, i need you to understand that it doesn't matter what they say, okay?" he doesn't say anything to that, and looks back up to your eyes. "c'mon, let's get you cleaned up." he nods, as you lead him to your bathroom. you switch on the light, and gesture to the counter.

"sit there," you instruct softly. he does as you say, and looks at you patiently as you get out the first aid kit. you go to stand between his legs, before you grab a wipe, and reach up to his nose.

"how bad does it hurt?" you ask, as you touch it lightly. he hisses slightly in pain.

"s'not too bad," he answers. you nod, and start to wipe away the blood. as you continue taking care of him, he simply gazes into your eyes, seemingly in a daze.

"you okay, baby?" you ask, looking at him with slight worry.

"yeah i'm good," he responds, as you apply a bandaid to the cut going across his nose. you then tilt his chin up gently to take a look at his bruised jaw.

"you poor thing," you coo.

"i'm tellin' you it's not that bad," he counters, with a small smile. you shake your head smile, and begin to patch up his knuckles. you apply some bandages, and clean up the blood. you rest your hands on his thighs, before pecking him on the lips.

"all done," you say, proud of your work. he smiles as he admires you.

"thanks," he says, before his eyes flicker to your lips. you take that as him asking for a kiss, which you happily oblige to. you lean in, kissing him softly. he kisses back contently, and after a moment you pull away.

"so who won the fight though?" you mumble against his lips. he chuckles.

"obviously me."

"oh obviously, huh?" you tease, with a small laugh. you kiss him again, smiling into it.

"only for you, [name]."

𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 © 𝐤𝐲𝐚-𝐢𝐬-𝐤𝐨𝐨𝐥, 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐲 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞

[plsdonttakemyname]

You dont have to feel like you gotta do this, bc i know sm ppl r too out of their comfort zone with it, but would you consider:

Poly!Soukoku? Like Dazai / reader / chuuya?

Fluff HCs?

Ig if you wanted more fun stuff (pls dont do it this is too much!) What do you think would be a good ability for an S/O of them to have?? :0

I have this one idea where their just a sort of puppet master and have strings that they can latch onto ppl and physically move them around, or even mess with memories (the non-passionate/deep seated ones) bc i thought Dazai would like the different ways it could be applied, and Chuuya would think it's badass to watch you just, lower the glowing strings coming out of fingertips attached to like a group of armed enemies and they just like, drop their guns and bow.

Feel free to have fun with this however you want, or delete the request if its too much!

Also the ability i talked abt doesnt have to be readers ability, and these could just be chill headcanons abt their relationship! Whatever works!

Hope youre having a great weekend so far, and I really like your writing!!

Cheers,

Poly Anon ☢️

Poly!Soukoku X G!n Reader

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A/n; Hi Anon! Tysm I really appreciate it! I'm glad you like my writing! I hope you're having a great weekend so far too :D

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Genre; Fluff, Hcs

Pairings; Chuuya X Dazai X Reader

Warnings; Mentions of Suicide(Dazai), my bad writing, Might has some grammar mistakes 😭

Now how do I start with this chaotic relationship...

Chuuya would try to kill Dazai from time to time and you have to be there to stop them because of it 😭

I feel like s/o would toy with their opponents with the use of their ability

Mori had assigned you three on another mission together even though one was already enough since the three of you were strong enough but who knows why he assigned you three on a mission like this

Chuuya would be surprised and amazed at the same time when he first saw your ability with his own eyes, sure he has heard about this ability before but he’s never actually seen it for himself before.

Chuuya thinks that his s/o is so badass when they puppet the enemies, making them bow down and drop all of the weapons carried to the battle.

Dazai on the other hand would not really get surprised since this is his first time actually seeing this ability with his own eyes and not hearing it from some stupid book, but he still knew from the beginning

But when the three of you are all bored and out of missions to carry out, you'll all hangout in a bar to spend some time with each other

It's either one of yall ended up drunk OR you all ended up drunk and passed out in the bar 😭

The three of you will always go out to the mall or on expensive dinner dates

You all share the same apartment and that's where things are starting to get really wild

When getting into bed, there is never peace...The three of you would be kicking each other off the bed and slapping each other in the middle of the night 💔

"GODDAMN CHUUYA STOP KICKING ME" *SNORES*

Chuuya Is the kicker,Dazai is the pusher and you're the one that's suffering 😢

Just imagine this, suddenly you woke up at an ungodly hour because you felt a hand slapping your face just to find out it was Dazai slapping you in his sleep and Chuuya is almost on the floor still dead asleep after a long day in the Port Mafia.

You had enough one night and decided to kick them both off the bed and acted as if you're still asleep 😭

It's legit 4am and suddenly you just kick them off the bed "OW" "what...the..fuck..." *Y/n fake snoring noises*

Besides that when it's really peaceful it's either they're both on a long mission or they're ACTUALLY not kicking or pushing each other off the bed.

The three of you likes to cuddle and fall asleep in each other's warmth

"Will you,Y/N L/n, Come double suicide with me?" "no." "OI MACKEREL IF YOU WANNA DIE I CAN KILL YOU NOW STOP ASKING Y/N TO SUICIDE WITH YOU JACKASS" "YOU HURT MY FEELINGS CHIBI.." while you're just busy typing up a report and also trying to calm down

When one of you are on a mission alone you all definitely give each other a goodbye and goodluck kiss before heading out

Besides all of those chaotic stuff happening in your relationship, You all are an unbreakable trio

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That's all I hope you like it </3